#(can't decide if it's funnier if it's the hero or the villain stuck in this situation)

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care

[the-talking-contradiction]

(Below are op's tags, not mine. It wouldn't let me add more to say that.)

hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care

[phruxx]

#it should be like. a hernia. or diverticulitis#something intestinal for maximum Awkward Scenario#and the entire car ride alternates between awkward silence and the driver lecturing their nemesis on the importance of regular check-ups#this is funnier if the hero is the one having the hernia tbh. but both options are Very Good#want to emphasize that it is a 'medical emergency ' that is clearly not extreme enough for the emergency room#and the sidekick/henchperson gets stuck in traffic so the hero/villain stays for moral support#they spend 8 hours in the waiting room playing Uno (it devolves into a screaming match)#at the end of the ordeal one of them vows to burn the hospital to the ground with their laser eye powers#and it's Not The One You Think#oh oh oh! ALTERNATIVELY:#it's an allergic reaction; one of them accidentally poisoned the other by using like. soybean derivative in a tranquilizer dart#emphasis on *accidentally*. yes they were technically fighting but That Wasn't Supposed To Happen#so now they're obligated to take responsibility and Stay In The Waiting Room#(can't decide if it's funnier if it's the hero or the villain stuck in this situation)#(probably the villain)#“why didn't you TELL me you were allergic to soybeans???”#“um because you would use it against me in combat?”#“as opposed to NOT telling me! which has worked out fantastic for you!!!”#villain being genuinely offended bc they have a biochemistry degree and have invented literally dozens of untraceable poisons#they have the scientific skill to poison their favorite jackass in hundreds of ways#(and have done so before! in admittedly non-fatal outcomes but that was by design okay)#but it's “dangerous” to do them the simple curtesy of informing them about a SOY ALLERGY????#above all else they consider themself a scientist#and they're LIVID that their favorite (reluctant) test subject lied about their medical history#“technically i didn't LIE--#“I read you the questionnaire! the very first time i held u hostage i READ YOU THE QUESTIONNAIRE!!!”#“...the what now”#“the MEDI--holy shit you weren't even paying attention were you#i had you bound and gagged over an ACTUAL BUBBLING ACID PIT and you couldn't even be bothered to--#“--so i was obviously a bit BUSY at that moment! I'm sorry i ignored your VILLAINOUS MONOLOGUING while the BLOOD WAS RUSHING TO MY HEAD but

hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care

[aceonstandbi]

#it should be like. a hernia. or diverticulitis #something intestinal for maximum Awkward Scenario #and the entire car ride alternates between awkward silence and the driver lecturing their nemesis on the importance of regular check-ups #this is funnier if the hero is the one having the hernia tbh. but both options are Very Good #want to emphasize that it is a 'medical emergency ' that is clearly not extreme enough for the emergency room #and the sidekick/henchperson gets stuck in traffic so the hero/villain stays for moral support #they spend 8 hours in the waiting room playing Uno (it devolves into a screaming match) #at the end of the ordeal one of them vows to burn the hospital to the ground with their laser eye powers #and it's Not The One You Think #oh oh oh! ALTERNATIVELY: #it's an allergic reaction; one of them accidentally poisoned the other by using like. soybean derivative in a tranquilizer dart #emphasis on *accidentally*. yes they were technically fighting but That Wasn't Supposed To Happen #so now they're obligated to take responsibility and Stay In The Waiting Room #(can't decide if it's funnier if it's the hero or the villain stuck in this situation) #(probably the villain) #“why didn't you TELL me you were allergic to soybeans???” #“um because you would use it against me in combat?” #“as opposed to NOT telling me! which has worked out fantastic for you!!!” #villain being genuinely offended bc they have a biochemistry degree and have invented literally dozens of untraceable poisons #they have the scientific skill to poison their favorite jackass in hundreds of ways #(and have done so before! in admittedly non-fatal outcomes but that was by design okay) #but it's “dangerous” to do them the simple curtesy of informing them about a SOY ALLERGY???? #above all else they consider themself a scientist #and they're LIVID that their favorite (reluctant) test subject lied about their medical history #“technically i didn't LIE-- #“I read you the questionnaire! the very first time i held u hostage i READ YOU THE QUESTIONNAIRE!!!” #“...the what now” #“the MEDI--holy shit you weren't even paying attention were you #i had you bound and gagged over an ACTUAL BUBBLING ACID PIT and you couldn't even be bothered to-- #“--so i was obviously a bit BUSY at that moment! I'm sorry i ignored your VILLAINOUS MONOLOGUING while the BLOOD WAS RUSHING TO MY HEAD but

hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

okay okay okay:

#it should be like. a hernia. or diverticulitis. something intestinal for maximum Awkward Scenario. and the entire car ride alternates between awkward silence and the driver lecturing their nemesis on the importance of regular check-ups. (this is funnier if the hero is the one having the hernia tbh. but both options are Very Good.)

want to emphasize that it is a "medical emergency" that is clearly not extreme enough for the emergency room, and the sidekick/henchperson gets stuck in traffic so the hero/villain stays for moral support. they spend 8 hours in the waiting room playing Uno (it devolves into a screaming match). at the end of the ordeal one of them vows to burn the hospital to the ground with their laser eye powers, and it's Not The One You Think

oh oh oh! ALTERNATIVELY: it's an allergic reaction; one of them accidentally poisoned the other by using like. soybean derivative in a tranquilizer dart. emphasis on accidentally. yes they were technically fighting but That Wasn't Supposed To Happen. so now they're obligated to take responsibility and Stay In The Waiting Room. (can't decide if it's funnier if it's the hero or the villain stuck in this situation. probably the villain.) “Why didn't you TELL me you were allergic to soybeans???” “um because you would use it against me in combat?” “as opposed to NOT telling me! which has worked out fantastic for you!!!”

villain being genuinely offended bc they have a biochemistry degree and have invented literally dozens of untraceable poisons. they have the scientific skill to poison their favorite jackass in hundreds of ways (and have done so before! in admittedly non-fatal outcomes but that was by design okay) but it's “dangerous” to do them the simple courtesy of informing them about a SOY ALLERGY???? above all else they consider themself a scientist, and they're livid that their favorite (reluctant) test subject lied about their medical history. “technically i didn't LIE—" “I read you the questionnaire! the very first time i held u hostage i READ YOU THE QUESTIONNAIRE!!!” “…the what now” “the MEDI—holy shit you weren't even paying attention were you. i had you bound and gagged over an ACTUAL BUBBLING ACID PIT and you couldn't even be bothered to—" “—so i was obviously a bit BUSY at that moment! I'm sorry i ignored your VILLAINOUS MONOLOGUING while the BLOOD WAS RUSHING TO MY HEAD but

hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care

[blackboxwarrior-mkultra]

how can you leave all this in the tags

it should be like. a hernia. or diverticulitis. something intestinal for maximum Awkward Scenario. and the entire car ride alternates between awkward silence and the driver lecturing their nemesis on the importance of regular check-ups. this is funnier if the hero is the one having the hernia tbh. but both options are Very Good. want to emphasize that it is a 'medical emergency' that is clearly not extreme enough for the emergency room. and the sidekick/henchperson gets stuck in traffic so the hero/villain stays for moral support. they spend 8 hours in the waiting room playing Uno (it devolves into a screaming match). at the end of the ordeal one of them vows to burn the hospital to the ground with their laser eye powers. and it's Not The One You Think. oh oh oh! ALTERNATIVELY:. it's an allergic reaction; one of them accidentally poisoned the other by using like. soybean derivative in a tranquilizer dart. emphasis on *accidentally*. like yes they were technically fighting but That Wasn't Supposed To Happen. so now they're obligated to take responsibility and Stay In The Waiting Room. (can't decide if it's funnier if it's the hero or the villain stuck in this situation). (probably the villain). "why didn't you TELL me you were allergic to soybeans???" "um because you would use it against me in combat?" "as opposed to NOT telling me! which has worked out fantastic for you!!!"

hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care