#(but they still have a lot of conventional morales just going off their canon being unnerved by Kuroji in RMI)

[angstandhappiness]

Interesting

Conversation Prompt

“Don’t you ever get tired of dying every day?”

“We all die. Every day, we all die a little bit.”

“Yes, but most of us don’t revel in it like you do. Don’t you ever get tired of your own misery and selfishness? Because I know I do.”

[machinesonix]

Somehow I have made it this long without realizing that none of the screen adoptions of Dune so much as mention the Butlerian Jihad. Like I guess it's burned into my brain so hard I sort of assumed it was part and parcel of the universe. Don't get me wrong, I think that's probably the first thing you learn if you want to dive deeper into the setting, but it still hits me like if the LotR movies showed us the big flaming eyeball tower and was like ‘Oh, that's why there are bad things, but don't worry, that's just background stuff.’ Yeah, you can understand the movie, but if the story is just like Frodo vs. The Witch King you are losing out on any of the conversation about the corruptive allure of power or theological undertones. So without further ado let's pretend this is for the benefit of interested new fans roped in by the movies and not part of my desperate attempt to silence the howling specters of literary analysis that live in my blood.

The Butlerian Jihad is an event set ~10k years prior to the events of Dune in which humanity won their freedom from the machines that they had enslaved themselves to. As a result, it is a religious taboo to create a machine that thinks like a human. That's frankly the bulk of the information presented by Frank Herbert in the text without dipping into books 7+, but whether or not those are canon is frankly an enormous can of worms, which really makes sense when you consider the size of the worms. But boy howdy, Frank loved his subtext and parallelism. Everyone has a foil character, every theme is hit from multiple angles, and Villinueve has been doing an excellent job of capturing a lot of that in repeated imagery and dialogue. The Butlerian Jihad happens off camera, but it's themes are absolutely critical to the big picture.

The Butlerian Jihad was a holy war. It was not merely a rebellion against the machines, it was a crusade against them. The prohibition against thinking machines isn't just a law, it's in the pan-universal Bible. Absolute psychopath Pieter DeVries himself claps back at the Baron for insinuating he might have a use for a computer, and this is a guy who has been hired specifically for his preternatural absence of morals. Let's hold onto that idea for a minute. 

Probably my favorite scene in the first book is the one where planetologist Liet-Kynes is dying out in the desert. As the last of his strength fades to dehydration he hallucinates conversations he had with his father concerning terraforming Arakkis for human habitability. He's told that the means are not complicated. There is already enough water on the planet, the Little Makers just have it all trapped deep underground as part of the sandworm reproductive cycle. You just need to isolate enough water to start irrigating plant life, and once it's established that'll keep the water on the surface on its own. The hard part is making sure everyone on the planet is environmentally conscious enough to foster a developing ecosystem. Nobody can drink any of that water while it's being collected, because they'll just introduce it back into the water cycle where the Little Makers are. It's going to take generations, so that sort of water discipline is going to have to go above and beyond a social convention. People need to be willing to die before they'll take a sip and compromise the plan. Ghost Dad Kynes concludes that the only mechanism in the human experience to enforce this consensus is religion. 

In the context of this whole parallelism thing, you have probably noticed that the Butlerian Jihad is not the only holy war in the narrative. Paul sees a new jihad as the only way of creating a future where humans can flourish. Now you might be saying ‘Wait now, Machines. I thought the point of Paul’s holy war was to avenge Leto and disempower established power structures by taking away the control of the spice!’ And you’d be right. The thing is, without getting into spoiler territory, Dune Messiah is not going to be about how everything just gets so much better now that Paul has destroyed the economy, government, and untold billions of human lives. This isn’t the endgame. Dude can see the future and the way he does it involves looking into the past. Paul lives in a society defined by a holy war and his goal is to redefine society. 

Putting it all together you can see what I mean about the Butlerian Jihad being essential to the themes even though the story never shows us a thinking machine or a narrative beat where the absence of computers changes the outcome. It helps us see the big picture. I’ve seen a lot of dialogue lately on whether Paul is a tragic hero or a consummate villain and I’m not here to answer that, but I am here to underline the critical detail. Paul intends to be seen as a tyrant. Just like Kynes’ hallucination says, religion is the lever to make a value stick around forever. He wants to traumatize humanity to hate chosen ones and emperors the same way the machines traumatized humanity to change them forever. The Water of Life ritual doesn’t invert his values, it lets him realize these visions of war are the means, not the ends. He is absolutely not happy about it, but this is Paul’s terrible purpose. 

[saintsenara]

hi!! for a black family inspired ship ask, i'd love to hear what you think of lucretia/ignatius prewett and dorea/charlus potter

and to keep the silly vibes of the game, alphard/voldemort, walburga/abraxas malfoy, pollux/augusta longbottom, arcturus/horace slughorn

thank you very much for the ask, anon! and for providing me with some ships which require me to do some research!

lucretia black/ignatius prewett dorea black/charlus potter

while i understand the impulse to turn these unions between the blacks and two families who will - in the latter half of the twentieth century, at least - become the biggest blood-traitors going into sexy tales of forbidden love, i suspect that both of these were actually pretty unscandalous matches.

it's very striking in canon that even characters like the weasleys who stridently disavow the more unpleasant bits of blood- and magic-supremacy are susceptible to prejudices against those who aren't pureblood. muriel prewett's disdain for kendra dumbledore connects to her being muggleborn [and she also refers to hermione as "the muggleborn" when she first meets her - it's more polite than "the mudblood", obviously, but it's not great...]. molly weasley is instinctively uncomfortable with many non-magical things [medical treatments, modes of travel] - to an extent that means we have to assume that she doesn't venture into the muggle world without arthur. ron finds harry and hermione's lack of knowledge about the wizarding world vaguely amusing. the whole family - like most of the series' good guys - treat muggles in a way which is paternalistic at best [fudge's condescension towards the muggle prime minister - a man who, in 1996, was working to broker a peace deal in a decades-long sectarian conflict in his own country, and who might have been able to offer some helpful tips in that regard - is a case in point].

all of which is to say, the prewetts and the potters - no matter their more liberal political views - were not still pureblood in the 1930s and 1940s by accident. i'm sure that both dorea and lucretia's marriages were regarded as perfectly sensible ones, to men who came from families which were a little bit odd, but who were otherwise entirely tolerable choices.

[not least because we know the potters weren't poor, even before they earned all that sleakeazy's money, and i think we can also assume the prewetts were also well-off - muriel's entire vibe is giving aunt march sitting on her enormous pot of money while her relatives wait for her to die, and i quite like the idea of molly having gone down a lot in terms of financial security by marrying arthur.]

the other pairings, though...

alphard black/lord voldemort

yeah, i'll back this.

alphard being unmarried, while both his siblings are, is very much giving "confirmed bachelor".

and one of the rules of being a confirmed bachelor in a society with slightly... victorian morals is that you keep your mouth shut about who you meet while cruising in knockturn alley's more sinister establishments.

especially when he's a man who'd kill you if he thought you were yapping about his extracurricular activities...

walburga black/abraxas malfoy

listen, you just know walburga was a bonafide baddie in her day. i bet all the boys were lining up to enter a semi-arranged marriage couched in stifling gender conventions with her.

abraxas fumbled her, i fear, by spending more time on his hair than she did on hers. she wanted to feel the uptown girl fantasy - and he was not making the effort.

pollux black/augusta longbottom

flopping, i fear. despite being an extremely mid-tier specimen, pollux considered himself the sort of man who could attract the sort of woman who'd want to start a tradwife tiktok account and let him control her financially.

augusta, in contrast, was of the opinion that a man who wanted fresh bread baked for him every morning could do that himself.

arcturus black/horace slughorn

canon. i won't explain why.

[zozo-01]

One Bad Day

So I told @yetdevout about my little head canon about how Starlight was only in the area where Blake and Avior were fighting because they were angry at their parents forcing them to look at rishta offers. I had a pretty crap day today so I'm just gonna write this.

Some clarification, a rishta is a sort of marriage proposal. It is used in a lot of Desi arranged marriages and it is up to the person to sort through them and find potential candidates to look into.

Warning: Desi Starlight (Still gender neutral tho)

--

"Ami, I get it, but I don't want to have sit down and-" The freelancer was cut off by their mother. They removed the phone from their ear, seeing it unnecessary due to the yelling on the other side of the line.

Part of them was grateful that this conversation was happening over the phone and not in person. Had their mother been in front of them, she would have gone another tangent about the 'disrespectful look' they were giving her. They could just hear the word baadmash rolling from her tongue.

If they were being honest, they would not have minded looking at the rishtas they were receiving. They weren't the type of person to date, being far too busy to dedicate their time to another person. But beyond that, they didn't want to be vulnerable. Not until they knew without a shadow of doubt that this would be someone who will be with them in the long term.

Perhaps it wasn't conventional by some standards, but it's worked for thousands of families in the past.

Starlight knows that it would work for them.

The problem was that they didn't want to deal with this shit right now.

Starlight has always seen compatibility in a logical way.

Do our likes and dislikes match? Do we have a similar moral compass? What beliefs and values are we willing to compromise to make this work?

But Starlight also believed that their heart had to want to make those decisions. Have those hard conversations. There was no point in considering the options available when they couldn't see themselves doing what was required.

It wouldn't have been fair to the rishtas or to themselves to have their heartlessness affect the outcomes. And when it comes to marriage, those outcomes will be dire.

They thought that their parents had agreed to not pester them about this until they were done with their studies at D.A.M.N. They only had a couple of years left and then their parent would have been free to barrage them with potential names all they want.

But no. The fear of Starlight getting 'too old for marriage' had crept in and now they are hellbent on changing their mind.

They understand their parent's fear. They really do. But for once, they just wished they'd look at things from Starlight's perspective. That they weren't ready to make a commitment as grand as marriage while their brains were filled with deadlines and assignments.

Despite the clarity of their mother's yelling through the phone, Starlight elected to let the words pass through their brain. They had forgone their usual sharpness in exchange for blissful ignorance.

"Yes Ami, I know. Can we talk about this later?" Their mother responded with a yes and a goodbye, before hanging up the phone. Her tone indicated that she was happy that Starlight was 'being swayed' by her words.

They let out a frustrated scream, thankful that street they were on was busy. They marched on, with no destination in mind. Their hope was with every stomp that hit the ground, a little bit of the headache that was forming would go away.

It did not.

Starlight continued their anger-filled walk, passing by an alleyway. A man ran out and bumped into them, knocking them both to the floor.

The man - daemon they mentally corrected themselves - had deep brown skin, akin to the bark on a tree. His hair was a reddish-brown, sprawled across the sidewalk.

Out from the alley came out another person. This time Starlight was able to more clearly sense his aura. A dreamwalker. It had seems as though the two magical creatures had been in an altercation.

Just as the daemon was ready to rift away, the dreamwalker let out an attack. It knocked Starlight unconscious, ignorant to how their life would be changed forever.

When they woke up, the were surrounded by red skies and jagged rock. The smoke was so dense in the air that it formed clouds in the skies.

They sat up, observing their surroundings. A myriad of questions flooded their brain.

'Where the fuck am I? How the fuck did I get here?' And the most important question with the most elusive answer.

'How the fuck do I get out?'

"Well good evening, Starlight, but it seems you're going to have to put your weekend plans on pause." They looked up to see the daemon from early, a sarcastic grin finding home on his face.

'All it takes is one shitty day for life to go to hell.'

[eiimblr]

This ended up being a long one. Lots of copyright policy discussion under the break.

This post reminds me of something Questionable Authority said on his stream recently: that copyright was created as industrial regulation for publishers. It was not originally intended to apply to individuals acting outside of an organization. As such, one answer for fixing copyright is to effectively abolish it for non-profit use but keep it more or less as-is for for-profit use.

That said, that's not a practical political position pretty much anywhere in the world in the short-term. Mostly because of lobbying, but also because the Berne Convention prevents it. There's also a lot of murky waters there. Is it really good if every movie, TV show, artwork, and book is instantly uploaded to some website a la Internet Archive where they can be watched for free? I'm certainly sympathetic to multiple "yes" perspectives: it allows comprehensive, legal archival, it reduces barriers to access, etc. But I also feel that the corporations are right that we'd have fewer people paying for art, which would lead to less money in art, and less/worse quality art overall.

Without being able to treat corporations differently from individuals, you get to what I think is the best solution: eliminate copyright protection of most derivative works. This would make almost all fan works unambiguously legal. It also goes back to the heart of copyright: I write a book, only I can publish it (or authorize others to).

In my opinion, this doesn't substantially harm original creators, even the corporations. One example I like to use is Star Wars. When George Lucas makes Star Wars, and it gets really popular, you'd expect lots of people (and companies!) to make knock-off Star Wars 2s (but under different names, because we still have trademark to protect names). Then, when George Lucas actually makes The Empire Strikes Back, does it do worse because of all the knockoffs? I don't think so! People value authenticity and canon. Fanworks will never really displace originals. In fact, they serve to keep interest in the original going, so that the creator can afford to spend more time making a great sequel without worrying about missing the hype wave. Additionally, as people could much more easily sell fanworks, you get that sweet economy stimulating effect.

This doesn't come without downsides, though. For one, it also violates the Berne Convention. For another, it doesn't provide protection for works being used to train AIs (although whether or not the current system does anyways is hotly debated). It keeps art from being directly used for NFTs, but derivatives could be.

For those two concerns, there's another tool for that called moral rights. Our version in the US is very weak, so it doesn't get much discussion, but it generally allows authors to prevent their work from being used in ways that, in various ways, might be immoral. Moral rights can easily get even more restrictive and vague than copyright, so I'm very hesitant to advocate for stronger moral rights in the US (or really just about anywhere), but it can be a useful tool if carefully written.

In summary, there are a lot of levers that can be pulled beyond copyright duration which provide more targeted protection for both artists and consumers, but actually pulling any of them is hard, in part due to international law and in part because legislating is just difficult.

ugh i have such mixed feelings about the AI copyright stuff, because like. on the one hand i don't want copyright law to get stronger, that would be bad for literally everyone but the giant corporations. but on the other, i don't trust the current capitalist hellscape of the internet with the total abolishment of copyright. the only reason so many artists were able to prevent people from stealing their stuff to make NFTs and AI art mimics of their work, including my girlfriend, is to wave around copyright. "this art is mine, you don't have permission to sell it." it's why huge corporations have to trick young artists into entering "contests" where they sign away their copyright and produce free labor. imagine a world without copyright where they can just steal anything they see without having to pull some legal loophole bullshit.

personally i would be really scared of thay future - a person or company being able to steal my writing and sell it somewhere else with no repercussions because copyright doesn't exist. like, that's my work that i made, and what i'm trying to make a living doing. i know they can do that anyway, and there will always be people who steal shit for a quick buck, but at least with copyright and DMCA there's at least one (extremely flawed, but effective) resource to safeguard against that if it does happen

i think that while abolishing copyright in the long-run is good (see: everything streaming services and Disney do), i feel like it would only help smaller artists in a world where their art isn't tied to their ability to eat food and pay rent. i just feel like it would matter less in a world that also had a UBI. if that makes sense

idk can someone make a case for me? because i am struggling with the dissonance. it feels like a really "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation, where no matter what, the megacorps benefit.

[dyed-red]

Not looking to raise any wars but, do you think if the actor who played Castiel was more conventionally attractive (re: Keegan Allen in a trencoat for ex) would people be more into towards destiel or samstiel or dean/Sam/cass pairings? (Ignoring castiels entire arcs post s6)

i'm a little ??? at this ask, considering that destiel has over 100k fics on ao3:

i get that not everyone is into misha collins but plenty of people find him attractive, and when he showed up in s4 he was standard cw-level cutie?

if he was shirtless with ripped abs (a la Keegan) in scenes with sam, then sure, there would probably be more sastiel, but i don't think the handsome-factor of misha collins or jared padalecki, or their mutual chemistry in a scene, has all the much to do with the dearth of sastiel content.

mostly the lack of overlap in content and the comparative lack of wincestiel or sastiel is because of bullshit shipwar stuff.

since you said 'not to raise any wars' it's under a cut, and mostly just repeating things that are said elsewhere.

as far as i can tell, there used to be a lot more multishippers, but that ship wars embittered people and that infighting led to "this is the Only ship" mentalities which deterred people from shipping cas with sam, or multishipping sam/dean/cas?

originally there was wincest, then cas hit the scene in S4, and for a while everyone was a-okay with adding more shippable characters to the milieu. actors (including misha collins) joked about wincest and shipping and the show and its creators didn't mind having fun with it.

over time, in fan spaces, more extreme voices gave rise to destihellers who were all too happy to bring morality and anti (fanpol) rhetoric into spn shipping spaces to prop up their ship and put down wincest. wincest(ies) responded in kind by basically saying fuck you to destihellers and multishipping declined as wincest shippers became more insular.

as it progressed, some hellers and misha stans started saying misha was the reason the show was still on the air and started more or less cutting sam out of the narrative and being dicks about him to prop up their ship, and sastiel never took off because fans who liked cas tended to end up in destiel spaces where the 'profound bond' between cas and dean was the rule of order, and where cult-like bullies didn't let people have divergent opinions or ships.

meanwhile, wincesties started calling hellers delusional for their opinions on the show, sometimes in ways that were earned (The Cult really is full of a lot of bullshit) and sometimes just to pick mean fights and put down people's headcanons.

and so it goes?

there's more to it, with extreme stans and their bad behavior and the rise of purity culture and sneaky radfem rhetoric into shipping (and leftist) spaces and the fervent 'everything is queerbaiting' stuff that took off that drove wedges people people and left a bad taste in their mouths over time. shipping became activism for some people and shipping stopped being a thing that was joked about at conventions or safe for the show creators to poke as much fun at because people were taking it way too seriously and demanding that things 'go canon'.

that self-righteousness was infuriating to others, especially wincest shippers (and sam stans). and when you can't stand the people shipping something, you're a lot less likely to ship it yourself, or to enjoy the content being made for it, regardless of what's on the screen. so that's another reason sam/cas didn't take off, and why this potential ot3 never got off the ground. also, ot3s tend to have a lot less content in general than ships with only two characters. fewer people in general are into poly ships, i think?

also, in all this, i'm certainly not unbiased.

i watched the kripke era as it was airing, shipped wincest from the pilot, and when cas came on the scene, my multishipping heart sat up and took notice and went "now that's fun". but i stayed out of ship spaces and fandom in those years and just read fic and mostly didn't know ship wars were in full swing until i came back to fandom almost a decade later and went... "ah, i see."

meaning that when i got back into the show, to my personal opinion, the heller side was deeply frustrating and it turned me away from shipping destiel, despite having enjoyed it fine enough before interacting with the fandom. now it's a NoTP for me. mostly because i couldn't stand most* of the prominent voices on that side except for a few people who were multishippers and also shipping wincest, and even then some of them fell into The Cult of Goob and i had to unfollow 🤷‍♂️

*also just as an addendum, i do still follow multishippers and at least one destiel (non-wincest) shipper, but those are specifically people who i've found to be lovely and non-assholes and who love sam and don't spout the type of entitled rhetoric that soured me off destiel.

[ratcandy]

CoGR Abridged/Summarized

Hello hello! My name is Clam, otherwise known as Squeakyclam on Ao3, and this is a heavily summarized/shortened version of my HK fic Camouflage of Great Renown. For anyone somehow finding this that doesn't know what it's about, CoGR focuses on Zote and his story through the game and what preceded it. He recounts his entire life up until the end of what's known in canon, and this includes a whole lot of angst, growth, realizations, and Trauma Revelations.

Oh, and he's a nosk. Zote is a nosk. Yep.

I've had a few requests for a summary, as the work is super long and reading through 130k+ words of Zote dialogue may not be for everyone, hehehe so I've compiled all the important plot points and wrote them out here in order of his story, rather than the plotline CoGR goes through specifically (in which big events in his history are revealed later on).

If I had to recommend reading the fic for anything, it'd be the... impact, I suppose? 'Cause reading the summarized events here will NOT be anything like reading it in CoGR. Seeing as the fic is all in Zote's pov and he actually has to force himself to admit all of this aloud. But I digress!!

Here's a summary of Zote's life according to CoGR.

THIS IS A VERY, VERY LONG POST DESPITE BEING A SUMMARY. I'm sorry, CoGR just has a lot happening! T/W for mentions of death.

A lot more heavy stuff happens in CoGR, but in this summary I do my best to step around those subjects. If you think more T/Ws should be added, let me know, and I'll put them here

Nosks were a species that inhabited Deepnest, specifically living in a den towards the nest's depths. It split off into lots of tunnels and caverns that each nosk lived in. "Society" there was very hostile and unwelcoming, as nosks valued brute strength over just about anything else. Caring for another nosk - be it kin or otherwise - was considered weak. "Burdens" to the den, such as nosks that were badly wounded, would/could not hunt, or were simply getting too old would be killed off. Death in and of itself was very common and hardly anyone would bat an eye at it.

Think the Mantis Tribe but largely feral and without a shred of decency of morals.

Runt donning mask of citizen was born into the nosk den alongside his brother, who would become hunter donning hide of tiktik.

(Before anyone asks, these are just the naming conventions that nosks have. No one but the nosk superiors - the leaders of the den - are granted actual names.)

A third egg was among them, but the brother broke it open and ate the younger sibling not long after hatching.

The two were born under a superior (their mother) and her chosen mate (their father). They were expected to grow up strong and eventually overtake their mother and become superiors. Or, one of them would, maybe.

The runt (Zote) was immediately scorned by the mother, as he was extremely frail and useless, and she just about killed him off right after he hatched - but his father stepped in, and the runt was left alive.

Zote grew up to be a weak nosk who could barely defend himself in a den full of beasts that would gladly kill him if doing so wouldn't be a direct offense to a superior. His brother was cruel to him, his father berated him constantly, and his mother was hardly in the picture at all. Only ever watching him distastefully from afar.

His father did, however, train him, if only sparingly. The least he could do to keep Zote alive. (Doing so would be a death wish were any other nosks to find out about it...)

However, an elder in the den - hunter donning mask of weaver - gained Zote's attention as she told him fantastical stories from outside the den. This elder had spent a good portion of her life among the Weavers, initially being sent to learn about them (to make them easier to hunt) but growing interested in their culture and choosing to stay. Until she did something to get her chased out.

At any rate, she told the stories from the Weavers to Zote, alongside news of what was happening outside of Deepnest. This caused the runt to become obsessed with the idea of being a knight, as the stories just sounded!! So amazing and heroic and awesome and!!! :D Yea!! He wanted to be just like that!

To the point where he even carved a sword out of the shellwood... with the den elder's help. He named it Life-Ender eventually.

At some point, however, his father found out about all this. His father figured that the only way to eliminate this problem - as wishing to be something heroic that saved lives or whatever was SO unnosk-like (and would get him killed) - was to kill the den elder.

Before she died, the elder told Zote to run away from the den, and not to return no matter what. The idiot did not run, and because of this, he witnessed the Den Elder's death at the hands of his father and some other nosks.

Man! this does, however, cause Zote to be more... "open" about his ideas. By this I mean he begins carrying Life-Ender around instead of hiding it in his nest. what do you mean it's a comfort item what! no he's just rebelliously showing off how much he wants to be a knight. totally. 100% /s

well, anyway, not long after this, the idiot's father dies at the claws of his mother. Zote unfortunately witnesses this as well. When he tries to run, his mother catches him, nearly killing him as well. Luckily(?), this attempt is thwarted by Zote's brother, who was very distraught over their father's death. The brother swears to kill the mother before storming off. Zote runs into hiding (still in the nosk den), and begins devising his plan so to get the hell out of there.

Of the few times that Zote leaves his nest after his father's death, 90% of them ended with him getting pummeled by his brother. The latter was livid, blaming the father's death on Zote and frequently bursting into fits of emotional rage. Rage is great for nosks, other emotions not so much.

On one occasion in particular, the brother goes too far, nearly killing Zote. In the scuffle, Life-Ender is shattered, and that sends Zote into a blind anger (mixed with survival instinct as he's About to Die). Zote then kills his brother.

A crowd had gathered around them during the fight. In that crowd was Zote's mother, who looked to him approvingly after he'd killed off his brother. This terrified Zote, so he gathered the pieces of Life-Ender and fled the den forever.

Stopping at the hot spring in Deepnest, he made a disguise for himself based on the vessels that nosks would often capture. He made a new name for himself, took on an entirely new identity, and decided to abandon the idea that he was ever a nosk. He would just go to the City, be knighted by the King (who he'd heard of from the stories the Den Elder would tell him), and live out his life as a knight. Just like he always wanted. Not as a nosk. because he's not that.

The events that follow now are just very short summaries of things that happen throughout cogr.

- He breaks a statue in the Queen's station on accident after a bug finds him there. as a nosk. oops

- He obliterates the entire uoma population /j and burns himself in the process

- He repairs Life-Ender originally using mushrooms in the Fungal Wastes. Fungal adhesion is real I checked I swear

- He makes it to the City of Tears! and while there, he

Gets caught by Hegemol who mistakes him as a vessel

Drowns in the City's gutters

Purchases a cloth to wrap around Life-Ender

Hears the Pale King talk one (1) time and immediately decides he hates him

- While leaving the City, he finds a grub. That grub never really gets named, but as he frequented calling the little thing "Fiend," and the grub eventually began responding to that title, he just considers it a name for them now.

- Zote travels with the grub throughout the Crossroads until he drops them off with the Grubfather, being rewarded for reuniting them but overall feelings pretty :( about it.

- He then goes to the. So you know the houses that are underneath the Gruzz Mother's lil arena? Yea that place. he goes there and "guards" it, becoming that place's self-proclaimed knight.

- then he starts being paranoid about the grub and returns to the grubfather only to see all the grubs have been stolen. he presumes Fiend is dead from this point on (and dodges around ever using the word).

- Then he goes back to the lil town place only to see everyone's infected :(

- We then spend TEN CHAPTERS!! in Greenpath. In which he

eats a plant and dies

Stands in No Eyes's tomb.

Visits the Lake of Unn (and nothing bad happens)

Sees a nosk at the entrance to Fog Canyon and proceeds to have a panic attack

Kills everything

Gets caught by the Vengefly king

Gets saved!

has a breakdown

Yells at Ghost and then Leaves

- Canon starts!

- He stops in Dirtmouth, listens to Elderbug talk, gets told the Myth of the Great old Nosks who are now all Extinct. The news that nosks are now extinct freaks Zote out a little, but he absolutely refuses to return to Deepnest. He doesn't need to make sure. It's fine.

- In an effort to convince himself not to go to Deepnest, he goes to the City again, thinking it can't possibly be all that ba-- oh no everyone's dead!

- he inadvertently steals a map marker from Ghost and decides to use that as a pin for his cloak

- Zote returns to Deepnest. He's very upset with himself for this, but he just has to know if all the nosks are actually extinct now.

The answer is yes

but before that he gets caught by dirtcarvers and put in a web and has to be saved. this makes him angry

Upon seeing all the dead nosks once he gets to the den, and noticing that the last nosk was mimicking Ghost (evidenced by the mask left behind) before it died, he decides that he's gotta Kill Everything again

- more specifically we're going to the Colosseum now.

- Zote's fear of water evaporates as he goes through the secret passage in the King's Station to get to Kingdom's Edge. He only found it because he saw Ghost go that way

- While at the Kingdom's Edge, he gets caught by the Fools, who he stupidly challenges and then immediately gets caught by.

- sits in dumb baby jail for a while. mean to tiso

- Then the colosseum battle happens! He does not win he then gets dropped down into kingdom's edge with little regard toward whether he's dead or alive

- He grabs a Fool's helmet before leaving, going back to Dirtmouth, and intending to bury that thing

- this goes wrong as he bumps into Bretta. He then sits and talks with her for God Only Knows how Long, spacing out while doing so, and not even noticing when she eventually gets up and leaves him.

- He buries the helmet, shuts himself away in his house, and gets stuck repeating his precepts to himself. At the end of CoGR it is revealed that he hasn't been talking to anyone, and is instead talking to himself endlessly as no one is left to listen to him

and that's it! that's cogr. yeah

[flying-elliska]

Headcanons for ADHD characters Masterlist

I was asked for this a while ago and I feel this is a good discussion subject because the canon representation for ADHD is kind of abysmal and is often a caricature or a joke.

usual disclaimer, I'm not a therapist, this is not a diagnosis tool, just for fun, etc etc...basing this on my own experience/knowledge with ADHD and meeting a lot of ADHD people IRL. I'm going off the main symptoms first (inattention and/or hyperactivity, restlessness, impulsivity, problems with emotional/focus regulation, daydreaming, messiness, hyper-focus, fidgeting etc) and then looking at character traits that are not a necessary symptom but often associated (substance abuse and addiction, need to please, sensitivity to rejection, compassionate and creative, thrill seeking, very imaginative, charming and witty or withdrawn and shy or angry and irritable, whimsical and fun and a bit child-like, out of the box thinker, self esteem issues, unstable life, comorbidity with anxiety and depression, very intense feelings, functions better with adrenaline/in an emergency, disregard for rules and problems with authority OR extreme compliance, codependency, perceived as weird, clever in an atypical way, problems in school, extremely good at one specific thing, etc)

Also I found this list with actual canonical representation

BOOKS :

The 'fits to a T so I'm seeing it as my personal canon' list :

note : doesn't mean that the authors actually meant to create representation but it's very likely they at least got inspired by people who did have ADHD (even when the diagnosis itself did not exist) and explained it with 'it's just their personality' OR the story happens in a setting where the label doesn't exist as such. also not meant to be exhaustive.

- Helen Burns (from Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë) One of Jane's school friends from the start of the novel, fits the inattentive type to a T : she can't seem to focus or learn her lessons, is constantly daydreaming, describes herself as messy and careless, forgets rules, and is easily distracted. She talks constantly about her own 'defective nature' and seems very sensitive to criticism but incapable of changing. She doesn't defend herself against the nuns' harsh punishments as she thinks she deserves them. She's presented as kind-hearted and compassionate, almost too good for this world, and hyperfocuses on her faith. Apparently sb even wrote an academic article on this. She dies so it's not super fun representation but it is interesting to see in an older book, to push back against the idea that ADHD was invented yesterday by Big Pharma lol.

- Grantaire (from Les Miserables, Victor Hugo) Part of the student revolutionary group Les Amis de l'ABC and resident skeptic, does not believe in the cause but is fixated on the group's idealistic leader (and yeah it sounds very gay, they die holding hands, there is a lot of Symbolism). He spends his time ranting about things that are only vaguely connected, is described as brilliant but incapable of sticking to any one profession or hobby, is an alcoholic, has a creative streak (was a painter at some point), likes wandering around the city, has massive self-esteem issues and is a general mess but does seem to care about his friends. This is not a very flattering portrayal as Grantaire is described as morally deficient but again, interesting in an old book. ADHD!Grantaire is a popular take in the modern fandom (i was in it before I was diagnosed it brought up a lot of Things) and it's very cathartic to see him get actual therapy in fic lmao.

- Luna Lovegood (from the Harry Potter series) JKR sucks but this is probably the most high profile case of a possible inattentive ADHD character so I didn't want to leave it out. She's a daydreamer, she is a big space cadet and seems to live in her own world, she has a very out of the ordinary sense of style, she's bullied for being weird, but she's also very kind and perceptive and cares a lot about her friends, and good at coming up with out of the box solutions. I wouldn't call it good representation, she's described as a wacko whom a lot of characters find cringeworthy but she's also pretty heroic, so. And she does seem to hyperfocus on magical creatures. Plus her father could also have it (and it runs in families).

- Jasper Fahey (from Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo) Part of a young group of thieves with a heart of gold, he's a charmer and a compulsive gambler who quits college and incurs debts so massive he stops talking to his father out of shame. He's also an extremely talented sharpshooter and the scenes where he describes how the whole world slows and the rush of adrenaline when he is shooting sound like hyperfocus to a T. He's a loyal friend but also quite dependent on Kaz, the leader of the group, to keep him in line. He's witty, messy and he likes danger. His boyfriend later in the series, Wylan, is dyslexic and the way they learn to accommodate each other's issues honestly makes them one of my favorite couples ever. I need to reread these books and I am so stoked for the series I hope they do Jasper justice.

- Julian Diaz (from Cemetary Boys, Aiden Thomas) Love interest of the book, introduced as the 'high school resident bad boy', energetic motormouth who can't sit still and actually very endearing, has issues in school and gets bored easily, main problem is that he's a ghost...sort of. The whole thing was very cute and I love that Julian's personality is described as fun and attractive instead of annoying (which is, if you haven't noticed already, a pattern).

- Evie O'Neill (from the Diviners series, Libba Bray) She's a flapper in 1920s New York who ran away from her boring little town to make a life for herself ; she's a party girl and an impulsive thrill-seeker who hates standing still and is always looking for excitement to 'fill the void'. She craves fame and attention and pretty things, she can be a loyal friend but is also frequently self-centered and forgetful, she's street smart, resourceful and very charming and witty. She's also grieving, drinks too much and is definitely depressed. She's obviously meant as an archetype of the era, caught between trauma and excess, but it does come over as very hyperactive ADHD as well. Her powers to read objects also really pinged me as a good metaphor for the ADHD tendency to be overwhelmed by details.

The 'bit more of a reach but there's a vibe' list :

- Emma Woodhouse (from Emma, Jane Austen) Frequently cited as a character with ADHD, I didn't come up with this one but she fits. She's daydreaming, easily bored, has flights of fancy and hyper-focuses on matchmaking, is a bit impulsive and thrill seeking, clever in an unconventional way, described as a bit immature, mix of caring and self-centered.

- Ronan Lynch (from the Raven Cycle, Maggie Stiefvater) Ronan just has Neuroatypical Vibes, even though it's not entirely clear what, and I've seen people label him all sorts of things which is very valid. As for ADHD, he's restless, impulsive, likes to Go Fast and do street racing, he has very strong emotions he doesn't know what to do with, and big self esteem issues esp. at the start, is very all or nothing with people, snarky, drops out of school to be a magic farmer, problems with authority, looks like a scary mean goth but is actually a big softie (but like, with a few people), pulls shit out of his dreams. Is kind of dependent on his best friend at the start too.

- Sherlock Holmes (from the eponymous series by Arthur Conan Doyle) Again a character who has been diagnosed with all sorts of things. The biggest ADHD vibe for me is 'my mind rebels at stagnation' and the way he needs drugs to function outside of the thrill of a case, and the way he hyper-focuses on information he needs to be a detective while completely ignoring common knowledge. Also sort of dependent on his best friend Watson and isn't great at social interactions. Doesn't care much about upholding social conventions either. The RDJ adaptation is the one that has the most ADHD vibes to me.

- Harley Quinn (DC Comics/Movies) Big codependency issues (that's arguably the thing she's most known for) and sadly people with ADHD are often prone to getting into abusive relationships. It depends on the story too but she's very energetic, zany, impulsive, she likes shiny things and bright clothes, she's fun and chaotic and likes to break the rules, she's a criminal but she does seem to have a heart, she's also frequently immature and rash, etc.

What are your headcanons ? I would love to hear if you have some so I can add them to the list. I'll make a TV/Movies list soon.

[hopeshoodie]

Part 7 of my Pros and Cons of dating the different islanders (yes I’m finally coming back to this :P) 

Gary

Cons

He doesn’t have a whole lot of thoughts about things that he’s not actively excited or annoyed by, and he doesn’t really feign interest. If MC buys a new top, or is invested in a new show, or anything that Gary doesn’t really care about, he’ll really disinterestedly say “that’s cool babe,” and make her feel like it’s unimportant. He’s not patronizing/embarrassing her on purpose, he just doesn’t have a lot of tact. You would have to really talk to him and work with him to get him out of this habit, because he doesn’t see how it’s hurtful or care that much to change.

He gets really defensive. If you call him out on his behavior or point out how he’s really stubborn, he’ll argue with you without really considering if his behavior is bad. Arguments with Gary suck because it gets to a point where he’s not hearing you and will just say “whatever” and refuse to engage. The best way to change Gary’s behavior is some pavlovian shit- you need to offer positive reinforcement without him really noticing. When he communicates really well, shower him with affection. When he picks up after himself, tell him how much you appreciate it. 

He’s very willing to walk away from things that challenge him instead of trying to grow as a person. We saw that with him and Lottie- whenever she or MC offered valid criticism of his behavior he would just walk away. That applies to most areas of his life- if he tries a new hobby and isn’t good at it immediately he’ll drop it. He doesn’t really like trying new things or going to new places, and if something challenges his worldview he’s more likely to ignore it than engage.

I’ve said this already but he buys MC heart shaped jewelry and pandora charm bracelets...

Gary’s a lad. While he doesn’t intend to hurt anyone’s feelings, he never really engaged with social justice issues and he hasn’t done the work needed to be anti-racist. He’ll laugh along to sexist, racist, homophobic, and ableist jokes without really thinking about the implication. He’s loath to call anyone out. If MC points out ‘hey that thing you/your friend said is hurtful,” he’ll get defensive and say “why are you ruining a good time? It was just a joke” If MC sits down and explains to him how the things he says are actively hurting her, he’ll internalize that and not do it. But he’s really hesitant to say the same to other people- he doesn’t want to ‘ruin the mood’ and get made fun of for being ‘PC’. 

Gary’s super dense. He doesn’t really pick up hints very well, so MC needs to explicitly tell him “I need you to compliment this dress” or “we haven’t gone on a proper date in awhile and I’m feeling undesired, can we go out for dinner tomorrow?” I firmly believe that the reason Gary tolerated all of Lottie’s passive aggressiveness was because he didn’t pick up on it, so MC needs to be direct. 

He doesn’t appreciate all the effort it takes to get all dolled up, even though he loves it when MC goes all out. I know he SAYS he doesn’t like high maintenance women, but in canon when given the choice between Hannah (seemingly low maintenance) and Marisol (very outgoing and done up), he chooses the higher-maintenance option. Every woman he dated on the show was a glam kind of girl- MC, Lottie, Marisol. So while he loves when MC has a full face and outfit done, he complains about how long it takes her and how she always sneaks away for touch ups during the night. He’s one of those dudes who is like “wow you’re so pretty without makeup” but you’re literally wearing foundation, contour, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, blush- he thinks the difference between makeup and not wearing any makeup is red lipstick. This is super annoying because MC puts a lot of effort into her look only for him to downplay that effort but still enjoy the results. 

Building off of the above, Gary severely underestimates how much effort it takes to do “domestic work” like cooking, cleaning, and administrating for the household (I imagine pre-MC he forgets to do the basics like renew licenses, register to vote, schedule appointments, etc). So if MC points out how she spent the whole day cleaning, he’ll be like “that seems a bit much? You just cleaned the kitchen?” and doesn’t really get it until MC breaks down “I swept and washed the floor, I disinfected the dishwasher, I ran cleaners through the sink link, I cleaned out and organized the fridge, I dusted and sanitized the chandelier, I organized the spice drawer,  I wiped out the cabinets…” He’s not really motivated to learn how to clean or do laundry or cook.

He doesn’t communicate. This is canon- he doesn’t tell Lottie where his head is at in the game, he strings Lottie and Hannah along, and he doesn’t reassure MC when other girls are clearly cracking on with him. So most of the problems in a relationship with Gary come from MC not knowing what he wants and him never initiating emotionally vulnerable conversations. 

He’s not going to do well if MC needs to travel a lot for work, and he’s not going to move to live with her. Even after his nan dies, I don’t see him leaving Chatham. So if moving to a new place is important to you, this is a dealbreaker.

Pros

If something goes really wrong, he’ll never do the same thing twice. This applies to physical mistakes as well as emotional- if he forgets to wear eye protection and gets sawdust in his eyes, he’ll be religious about wearing glasses from them on. If he forgets a birthday or anniversary and makes MC cry, he will be SO diligent from then on about remembering dates. On that thought, he HATES seeing MC cry. He will move heavens and earth to stop whatever’s upsetting her or fix it. 

Hugs and cuddling from Gary? So comforting. He just has that vibe, like he’s a really good cuddler. Not to mention that he’s really good at the nasty in canon, so it would stand to reason………

All of that internalized masculinity has an upside- he wants to take care of his family. He’s on top of all the ‘masculine’ caretaking stuff like buying a home, maintaining the landscaping, fixing the tires on the vehicles, shoveling, fixing stuff up around the house, managing the cable/internet/tech. Which is nice because I hate doing those things, but also I’m absolutely teaching him how to do laundry and pick up after himself. 

Gary is SO calm in emergency situations. I have this headcanon for Rahim too, but the more panicked those around them get, the calmer they are. Especially in situations where they’ve prepared/considered before like tornadoes or floods. They’re not the kind of guys who take the lead normally, but in these super dire situations they find it in them to take over and calm everyone else down. I can see him having a lowkey stockpile of food, an emergency first aid kit, and a go-bag. 

I know people don’t like this headcanon, but too bad. Gary is catholic. That’s the law. Sorry I don’t make the rules. That’s not so much of a pro for me, an atheist nihilist lesbian, but I can recognize a religious man has a certain amount of charm. He has a close knit community, is super consistent about attending services, and has a certain level of taking morals really seriously. He definitely donates a fair bit to charity and is always the one saying “love thy neighbor” when people are being shitty. 

Gary’s spontaneous, but in a controlled way. He very much likes his routine and respects MC’s need for consistency. But periodically he’ll just be like “we have nothing planned for today- want to go rent a paddleboat?” or he’ll pick up flowers “just because”. If MC and he are going on a vacation, he much prefers to only plan 1 or 2 things to do a day and then once they’re in the place see interesting things and suggest ‘let’s do that’. He’ll do really thoughtful stuff like text MC if she has anything planned for dinner then randomly bring her favorite restaurant food home. Thursday nights are date nights!! Doing formal ‘dress up nice and go to a proper dinner date without the kids and movie’ is really important to him.

Gary’s a really good dad. Like yeah he has a lot to learn about not telling his son to ‘stop crying’ and not telling his daughter ‘no boys until you’re married’, but he genuinely wants the best for them. He’s really supportive of their hobbies/sports/interests, and will happily pay for summer camp/field trips/conventions. He might not ‘get it’ all the time, but he’ll smile and nod. 

He gets a lot of delight out of really little things. If his kid draws something for him, he’ll pin it to the fridge and smile at it every time he sees it without fail. If MC says she likes a certain shirt on him, he’ll triple the amount of times he wears it. He keeps the bird feeders outside their dining room window full, because he can happily sit with a cup of coffee and watch the birds for hours. It truly is the little things.

He’s really good at remembering MC’s favorite things, or even things she mentioned liking once. This is to the point where it’s a bit confusing. MC will compliment Gary’s nan on her christmas poinsettias one year, then two years later Gary buys a ton of poinsettias and is like “I thought you loved poinsettias” and not be able to remember why he thought that. So MC has to be careful with fake compliments, because Gary cannot tell the difference. But that’s still, like, super endearing and nice of him. 

There’s a few LIs that I feel like could get bored in a long-term relationship. I can see Lucas, Felix, and Rahim feeling like they’re ‘falling out of love’ when the intensity of a new relationship fades and they struggle to settle into domesticity. Gary is NOT one of them. He’s one of those “I fall in love with you more every single day” kind of guys. As MC gains weight/ages, he’ll insist “you age like a fine wine” and “I like you more with meat on your bones”. He’ll insist to their kids that “your mom is the most beautiful woman on earth”. Gary was built for long-term relationships.

[rebamacncheese]

THSR Designer’s Notes: The Suit

This is the fourth in a series of posts where I break down the design choices I made for my illustrated Frozen 3 fan-script, True Hans Soul Rebel. Link here if you haven’t read it: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27113293/chapters/66207733

Without further ado, Marie’s suit. 

This suit is next level. Big brain. Peak Marie, as a character. This is when she decides to live bravely - face what she actually wants for the first time in her life, and experiment with self-expression beyond conformity. 

Now, before I go much further on this vein, I should acknowledge that everyone’s gender journey is different. While I like to think Marie’s story has some universal appeal, she’s not meant to, and could never, represent everyone’s experience. Many MTF people glow up from a masculine presentation to a high femme one, and that’s how they live their truth.

But for this story, and this character, I couldn’t see her going from one box of binary expectations to another and finding much happiness that way.  With the suit, she reclaims masculinity - and begins the end of an arc about reclaiming her past actions, her life and all its contradictions. 

Lets break it down. 

The concept of the suit was one of the earliest visual ideas I had for THSR. Here’s a draft, which predates me figuring out what to do with Marie’s sideburns, and most of the plot:

And here’s a slightly later, post-burns draft, which also predates Elsa’s ruffle dress:

Minor color changes and shaping aside, the outline is basically there. All the same things about the fairy tale prince wardrobe that made Hans the most conventional thing in a room make Marie the least. The masculine wear is offset by feminine adjustments to the silhouette - the hair bun, the cinched waist, and the heels. On shaping, Marie’s asymmetrical lapels are a whole choice as well, adapting the boxiness of Hans’ suit jacket for something fragmented, angular, and flattering to Marie’s chest. Gnc af, no attempt at all to appear straight, or even really cis. 

A major inspiration was, of course, Revolutionary Girl Utena. Especially in the waist shaping, themes of defiance, and the palette (we’ll get to colors in a bit)

The whole ball scene, really, is just Beauty and the Beast by way of Utena. Watch out for falling petals, folks!

I ended up changing the skirt-like flared coat tails in the final to a cut that drew more attention to fact that Marie is wearing pants. The pants are going to be a plot point, how Marie’s accidentally clocked by the trolls, so it’s important that they’re uncompromised. 

You have Captain Amelia, fellow sideburns queen, to thank for the new cut:

You also have her to blame for the heels, likely. The heels are impractical, a stretch for the soft butch look, and are really there because I thought they looked foxy. There is some gender-significance to them, if you’ll bear with me. At ~5′10″ (my estimate), Hans was a respectable height for man, while Marie is uncommonly tall for a woman and it’s a source of insecurity for her. Wearing four inch heels anyway, which elevates her a little taller than Kristoff, is a bold flex in that context.  And in Marie’s defense, she didn’t expect to be in action scene that evening. Come the third act, I’m sure she’s grateful that she gets to spend most of the final battle with her feet off the ground. 

The hair bun was, like the best decisions, so simple and something I just did because it felt right, intuitively. But it really makes the look, the capstone if you will, and so I want to talk about how that happened. First, I was watching a lot of Gentleman Jack at the time, and though the bun is just the period, this was in my mind as Victorian Butch Lesbian chic: 

Second, the high bun makes Marie’s profile very reminiscent of the first Disney makeover:

The effect with the suit ends up being a mashup of Prince Charming and Cinderella, effectively Disney canon’s Adam and Eve. 

A note on hair, this is the line I had to walk. I wanted the length to be long on a man, but short for a woman - while still long enough to be bun-able. In other words, Mulan length: 

What are buns? How does gender? Is hair a society?

Moving on. Color!

From the beginning, I wanted the dominant color of the suit to be black, or something very dark. This is in line with what makes Marie romantic to Elsa - she’s brooding, mysterious, anti-heroic. The specific shade I landed on, with midnight blue highlights, matches Elsa’s ruffle dress and ends up matching the black ice of THSR’s title cards. And it pops nicely in the green spring palace. 

The final dark-on-light scheme is an inversion of Hans’ main ensemble in Frozen 1:

And takes the red and gold accents from Hans’ off-white ball ensemble:

This shot is like, the rosetta stone for Marie’s characterization and ancient hansoglyphics btw. 

I see all of the Hans references in the suit design as character-driven on Marie’s end. A part of her walking right up to the line of what she can get away with. She’s almost daring Elsa and Anna to recognize her. 

Earlier versions of the suit played with warm colors more to break up the blocks of black, finding a way to rework the feminine magenta maybe. But, simpler is often better for something memorable, and the suit also has to look good with fiery wings later.

The suit will be destroyed in the end, as it must. 3/3 outfits burned in three days - perfect score, Marie. I do think that after the dust settles, this soft butch style is what she sticks with day-to-day going forward. 

Here’s a version for a christmas special I may or may not get around to:

THSR is a fantasy - on many fronts, including a queer power fantasy. A fairy tale - where my heroine is pressured into a classic feminine makeover, says “fuck it” and shows up to prom in tux. And then the fairest woman at the ball, a goddess in a gown like a waterfall, looks her and thinks “She’s so beautiful, I don’t know how to speak to her”. That’s what the suit is all about, to me, in the end. 

But, y’know, with all the gay, sexy, morally compromised fun we’re having, it seems somebody has gone overlooked, overshadowed. Neglected. What about Frozen’s first heroine? What about Marie’s antagonist?

Next time on the THSR Designer’s Notes, Anna gets off the bench. Watch this space :)

[tundrainafrica]

I love your theory about levihan so much. But I'm curious, what do you think about levi and petra? does levi love her? and if petra doesn't die, are they likely to become canon? thank you and sorry for my bad grammar :)

Thank you for the ask anon and your grammar is fine <3 

I actually answered a question about this a while back, you can find it here.

As mentioned in my previous ask, back when I first watched the anime in 2013, I was more of a rivetra fan than a Levihan fan. I only saw the potential for Levihan post time skip after I binged everything again and I was a little mature about love and romance and was more aware about what exactly I’d look for in a good ship. 

Let’s face it, the Levihan crumbs were incredibly subtle although there were some planted all the way until season 1. 

But if you look at season 1, you’d see a lot of the Rivetra crumbs dropped, especially when compared to the Levihan ones, were less subtle and could easily be more interpreted as romance. 

Examples of these include the amount of time Levi spent in front of her dead body, the badge of Petra he ripped off so he could keep, the one scene where he looked at her dead body as it was thrown out of the cart and of course, the letter saying she was going to dedicate her life to Levi and her dad mentioning to Levi that she was too young to dedicate her life to people. 

And a lot of people in 2013 had this assumption, (okay fine probably me too.) that Petra was Levi’s fiance. It was a reasonable assumption since they were throwing words around like “she’d dedicate her life to him,” “She’s too young to get married,” and these are more conventional lines for a romance novel or a romantic subplot. 

While the closest thing we have in the Levihan ship which could count as romantic subplot material are “let’s live together” and “dedicate your heart” and every other thing was as subtle as the hints Reiner and Bertholdt were titan shifters in season 1. And even early on, the Levihan crumbs consisted of small jokes, banter between the two, arguing and military strategizing. And what do we expect anyway? They’re both incredibly emotionally constipated. 

Because of the glaringly obvious rivetra crumbs, teenage me ate Rivetra up like ice cream on a hot summer day. 

But did Levi really love her? 

Teenage me: YES. 

Looking back at it now though, it’s hard to tell. 

He thought highly of her definitely. He respected her enough to pick him for his squad. He stopped at her body, felt regretful at losing her corpse, tried to keep her badge and froze solid when the father of Petra approached him about it. But those don’t necessarily have to be considered romantic crumbs now that I think about it. 

I mean, I talked about it more in the ask I linked above so just check it out. The point is, Petra was just the easiest to put as Levi’s morality pet when they were still establishing Levi’s character since of all the 4 squad members who died, Petra had been the most fleshed out. 

if petra doesn't die, are they likely to become canon?

I’m inclined to say no because I’m a Levihan fan. But as objectively as possible, they had potential. If she survived and worked closely with Levi, possibly as close as Hange and Levi worked post time skip, it possibly could have been them together.

(MAYBE EVEN A LOVE TRIANGLE) but ughh... If you wanna go there... I hate to say this but if Petra and Hange did love Levi and were both going to confess,  I would put my money on Petra managing to confess first. 

I mean, one reason we did get more Rivetra crumbs in the first place compared Levihan crumbs is because I think although Petra is younger than both Levi and Hange, I feel like she has a better head on her shoulders romance wise and would have been more easily able to navigate a developing romantic relationship with Levi. 

But Levi and Hange’s bond definitely extends beyond romance and despite Levi and Hange’s interactions not being blatantly or conventionally romantic, I ended up enjoying it more than Rivetra and I think that says a lot about the potential of Levi and Hange’s subtle interactions. And Levi and Hange knew each other for much longer and they obviously see each other as equals which I personally would have preferred in a relationship. And their interactions are more raw and candid because of that power balance between them.

But Petra’s emotional maturity romance wise just makes it so difficult for me to tell right now how a love triangle would work between them and just trying to imagine it makes my head hurt. Maybe I’ll hc it in another ask another day.  

(But low key, I agree with Petra’s dad, she’s still too young to get married.)

[highladyluck]

Mat/Tuon meta: Will He/Won’t He (Stage A Military Coup)

Back on my Mat/Tuon meta horse! This is about why Tuon is absolutely convinced Mat won't mount a military coup against her, and under what circumstances he just might, actually. Obviously, ‘ware series spoilers. The personal/political dynamic Mat and Tuon have at the end of the series continues to fascinate me. Tuon is well aware that Mat’s prince-consort position, Prince of the Ravens, is a position that could lead a military coup against her leadership; she knows all about the power struggle that imperialist, expansionist government leaders face with respect to their armies and the generals that lead the armies. She also knows at this point that Mat specifically has the skillset to pull that kind of thing off; he has demonstrated political skill even if he's not used to Seanchan customs (she noted that the way he diffused tension in the hell boded well for his ability to handle Seanchan court politics), he quickly inspires personal trust and loyalty in his troops regardless of what troops he's actually leading (see: when he meets back up with the Band in the Altaran wilderness, plus how quickly her own armies took to him), and of course he is brilliant at tactics and strategy (see: the entire series starting at book 4). She is also *certain* that he won't actually use that power against her. He has shown her personal loyalty on numerous other occasions, and Tuon's entire brand and survival strategy is generating personal loyalty due to her power (or potential power), skills, and personal integrity. She knows what personal loyalty looks like and she knows how it works. She's a little appalled at herself for not being afraid of Mat staging a coup, and she even thinks that it's probably not good for her or the empire to *not* be constantly threatened by her top military commander, because she's been conditioned to believe that external threats keep her sharp and focused- but she absolutely does trust him not to be a threat to her. Which is wild!!! You have to understand how wild this is!

Tuon previously only trusted her personal safety to people she thoroughly controls- Selucia, Karede, her damane. She does have a kind of control over Mat, but it's not based on anything she's done or her position, it's based on his personality and choices, and I don't think she thinks she controls him. (I think she believes she has authority over him, and that's at least somewhat true, but that's much different from the total control she has over enslaved people, or even the political control she has over the Blood.) She does also trust people she doesn't entirely control- the people who are almost her peers- but notably she doesn't trust them not to hurt her. She trusts that they'll act in ways benefiting their own self-interest or the interest of the empire, which could mean they might hurt her.

Mat, on the other hand, she trusts not to hurt her except accidentally, by making choices that have implications for her standing. (That's what all the manners lessons are about, she's trying to protect him so he doesn't leave her exposed.) Again, THIS IS WILD. Tuon’s an autocratic empress raised under the threat of assassination from birth, she has MAJOR trust and control issues, and here is someone she does not fully control but whom she implicitly trusts not to physically or even intentionally harm her. Do you think she's ever had that experience in her life before? I can't see how she would have. I think there's room to explore this in a way that would be therapeutic for Tuon, but it's also an extremely tempting vulnerability to exploit narratively. Either way, it's fascinating. So what's Mat's motivation not to harm Tuon, and how much of it does Tuon know? It's both a character thing and a situational thing, and I think Tuon knows about some of it, but not all of it, and she also has some major blind spots about what Mat is capable of. Mat won't intentionally harm her for a couple of general character reasons: he's in love with her, which she knows about and is like 'weird flex, but ok'; I don't know if she really knows how to parse it tbh. Also, because he won't kill a woman, which she knows about and is like 'this dumbassery is going to get my himbo straight-up murdered; however, it's kinda cute'. Also, because he has a saving-people-especially-women-thing, which she may or may not know about; I forget whether it came up in any of her surreal chats with Mat's childhood friends, but even if it did she may not know enough to give it proper context in his motivations, or understand how truly generalized it is. He's also promised to protect her from harm in the past, and while that may have been a time-/situation-limited thing, she's seen that he keeps his promises, assuming he gave the promise in earnest. So while he hasn't necessarily made such a promise recently, she knows that he keeps his word and that's something she values as a mark of integrity and a reason to trust someone. The other reasons she trusts him are more down to circumstances: the Last Battle had him temporarily siding with the Seanchan against their common enemy, the Dark One. I think Tuon's aware that he's not fully committed to the Empire yet, but possibly she doesn't realize the extent to which he is ambivalent, or she thinks it's the kind of thing they can compromise on, like the uniform design, rather than a fundamental disconnect in goals. Or she thinks that once he understands what his responsibilities are, he'll absorb himself into the role the way she has, which is... uh... rather optimistic of her, but we all have our blind spots. Finally, I don't think Mat's fully realized that a military coup (which would likely look like a situation where he spares Tuon's life but gets her off the throne) is an option for him. Or, it's occurred to him, but the circumstance has not yet come up that would justify him taking that path. And I do *not* think Tuon has considered this! She might think he knows that the Prince of Ravens is traditionally a threat to the Empress, but I don't recall that she's actually said that to him. And I don't think she sees a difference between her not being Empress and her being dead- she's conflated 'being in power' with 'staying alive' literally her entire life, and she probably thinks any situation where she's not Empress but still alive, if it's even possible, would be so shameful/painful it would be better to be dead. So it wouldn't occur to her that one outcome of a coup would be to replace her as government head but still keep her alive. And Mat hasn't yet faced a situation where he might have major ethical issues with not just the structure of the army but also the goals of it. (Even his iconic ‘I am accidentally leading an army despite really not wanting to lead an army, because I can’t let these dumbasses get killed’ move was ethically consistent, since he was just trying to run away/save people.) And, as I will never shut up about, he’s done literal war crimes to achieve his goals before- he didn’t stop to give aid after he ambushed the Seanchan in the Altaran forest, even though Teslyn specifically says this is against Randland military convention. And given Mat’s early canonical history of being railroaded into leading military campaigns, I don’t think Mat’s going to balk at leading the Seanchan army just because he doesn’t like the Seanchan empire, though it will matter what specifically he’s asked to do with it and why. I think Mat's way more likely to be willing to lead the reunification of Seanchan than to deal with local Westlands slave uprisings or rebellion. You're going to hit his moral breaking point a lot sooner if there's domestic civil crises. An actual slave revolt or rebellion would get hit with military force, and Mat says as much to Beslan so he's well aware that he'd be, if not in charge, certainly culpable for the Seanchan government response to it. (They might try to prevent it from happening at all with Seekers; but Seekers are mostly focused on the Blood, I think, so I think it's possible that if there's minimal Blood involvement they might not know about it in time to nip it in the bud.) So if you wanted to force Mat to have a crisis of conscience that's one situation you could set up, and I think it's even somewhat likely. Post-TG Seanchan-Westland politics are going to be a Cold War, and many entities in the Westlands would be happy to lend plausibly deniable support to an organic citizen and/or slave uprising! The other thing is, Mat needs to be constantly occupied and he does like using his skills; if he gets an 'acceptable' target for military force he probably will go for it. So if the forces in Seanchan unified under a rando warlord, he'd probably be ok leading the Westlands Seanchan troops there, reasoning that Tuon is probably a better or at least more influenceable ruler than that other guy. (Might be complicated if it was a female unifier, but probably not that much.) He would not be keen on enslaving the free Westlands- not that that’s going to happen as long as the Dragon’s Peace is going on- but a ‘peacekeeping mission in a foreign land’? ...idk, I can see him going for it, especially if he doesn't have enough political capital yet to back up an outright refusal. Mat was conflicted about using the damane he captured in the Last Battle, but he did use her. She was a prisoner of war from the enemy side, which probably eased his conscience a little re: personally owning her, but I don't see anywhere in the text that he had issues commanding Seanchan sul'dam and damane in a less personal way. The Last Battle was an unusual situation, but we've also seen Mat willing to ally or at least put up with plenty of people he dislikes- on personal and ideological grounds- to achieve a goal (see: rescuing Joline) or just figure out his options (see: all that card-playing with nobles in the Stone of Tear while he had emotions about Rand. XD)

So if you wanted to force Mat to have a moral crisis while fighting in Seanchan, you'd make the people he's fighting in Seanchan be people he sympathizes with more than he sympathizes with imperial Seanchan; let's say it's a coalition of rebels who want a different, more equal society. Mat's got gilt by association (thank you for that amazing phrase, Terry Pratchett) and he's not pleased about it, and unlike Tuon, he can envision a situation where she's still alive but not Empress. So I think that'd be another situation that would force him to have a crisis of conscience and start planning a coup or at least using his considerable power for leverage. The key in both cases is that it's not just Mat randomly deciding to take a stand for freedom; frankly, I don't think he would, unless he thought it was the best way to 'rescue' Tuon, and even then he would wait or maneuver until the tactical/strategic landscape was as much in his favor as possible, which is where the external circumstances weakening the Empire come in.

[fleetwoodmactshirt]

roadtrip headcanons (requested)

i think they’d all have a different vibe and a different energy. i didn’t really rank them best to worst, i just explored what i think the vibe of a road trip with each of them would be like. i also let loose and slipped in some super self-indulgent personal hcs/one-shot au idea that is a WiP about ezra as an intriguing handsome stranger you encounter on your solo cross-country road trip. as a treat. s/o to @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa​ for suggesting whiskey’s fav song.

frankie morales is the road trip king. no matter how spontaneous, frankie can whip a road trip plan together smoothly. he’s got a spacious truck, he’s got a cooler, he’s got the coziest blankets, he’s got the travel pillow, he’s got the camping gear, he knows the best scenic routes, he’s got the best classic tunes, he’s got the best snacks. he makes homemade sandwiches and burritos, wraps them tightly in tin foil. he heats up frozen pizzas, cuts them into slices. he stores it all in the cooler for lunches. when the supply runs out, you gorge yourselves on burgers and fries at roadside diners. but every morning he’ll stop in the nearest town to buy some apples, or some fresh fruit/veg of some kind. if they’re ripe he’ll get avocados that he’ll cut in half for you both to scoop out with a spoon to eat plain while you sit together in the bed of his truck in the shade of a lake you’ve stopped at for the afternoon. but he surprises you with your favourite junk food and snacks. he lets you borrow his cap if the sun is in your eyes; he’s got a spare, more threadbare one in the glove box. he’s low key done the research on the best places for stargazing; you lie back nestled together under a blanket, in the bed of his truck, gazing upwards; you listen as he describes the constellations, tracing them out with his finger.

max phillips. business road trips but max’s...condition necessitates driving at night only. liminal spaces. driving through the night, sleeping in business hotel rooms during the day, dust motes floating in the thin streams of sunlight peeking through the cracks in the curtains you’ve pulled shut. you see incredible sunsets and sunrises from the highway. you also see some undeniably weird shit late at night on road trips with max. he watches you eat breakfast food at 2 am in neon lit 24/7 diners. while on the road he passes you lots of candy throughout the night; he stocks up from the hotel vending machines. but no matter how much caffeine and sugar he tries to fuel you with, sometimes you’re lulled to sleep by the peacefulness. you nestle your head against max’s shoulder; it’s not the most comfortable position to drive in but he can’t bring himself to readjust and shift away from you. solitary brightly lit gas stations that are like an oasis of light breaking the pitch darkness. the two of you feel utterly alone sometimes; the world has shrunk down to only you, max, in this car, driving along this empty, dark stretch of road, a blush of purple on the edge of the horizon signalling the dawn.

based on how oberyn canonically took his daughters to explore an abandoned holdfast, i think his road trip energy would be all about the journey and not the destination. road trips with oberyn and ellaria would be meandering and adventurous. sometimes you’re riding shotgun and sometimes you’re sitting in the backseat with ellaria laid out and napping beside you, sun hat dipped down covering her eyes, her long legs stretched across your lap. if the three of you come across a motel you enjoy he’ll feel no urgency to leave; the days blur together and soon you’ve spent a week soaking up sun by the pool and sleeping in late entangled together in a pile of limbs after long passionate nights. day by day you may not even travel very far; he wants to stop and explore. hike amidst rock formations, swim in hot springs, explore the local museums; whatever catches his or your fancy. if he sees a billboard on the side of the road advertising local caves, or a petrified forest, or hears rumour of nearby ghost town that’s all but disappeared off the map, you’ll suddenly find yourselves veering off down small country roads, hours from the highway, seeking out pleasure, adventure, mystery. 

marcus has a hilton rewards card so you’re staying at hilton garden inns every night. clean sheets. comfortable beds. complimentary breakfast. it’s very pleasant. middle class fancy. holds out his hand for you to drop some snacks into his palm so he can remain focused on the road while you’re both munching. let’s you curate the spotify playlists.

roadtrips with javier are always last minute decisions to just take off, head to a gorgeous but isolated beach you’d heard about that’s a few days from here. he doesn’t get many opportunities for long stretches of time off, so when he does you don’t hesitate. you might not even wait for a rational time to leave. it’s midnight and you guys just speed off into the darkness. you just threw some essentials into a bag, jumped in his jeep, and booked it. you gotta buy toothpaste and toothbrushes at a gas station, and you borrow javi’s deodorant stick because you forgot yours. greasy fast food containers, half-empty cigarette packs, and snack wrappers litter the dashboard. his aviators perched on his nose, one hand resting on the wheel, the other curled around your thigh, javi on a road trip is relaxed. he’s leaving all his burdens, his worries, everything weighing on his chest, all of it, behind him. literally, the more distance you guys put between yourselves and where you were, the more uplifted his spirits. when your favourite song comes on the radio, and you’re shimmying in your seat, he can’t keep his eyes off you, his gaze flicking between you and the road. he sings along under his breath, bobbing his head almost imperceptibly and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, a slow smile spreading across his face.

whiskey pulls up to your house at 5 am on the dot, the obnoxious custom sound of the horn of his bronco rattling the windows and scaring the birds out of the trees lining the street. country music jams ONLY. you argue over his taste in music; does he enjoy being a walking cliche? he will not accept any song that doesn’t have a twang to it. he’d be an aux cord hog if he knew what an aux cord even was. so much for your favourite spotify road trip playlists. “spot fly? spot what fly, where?” still has mixtapes he made himself, the same ones he’s been playing since forever. forces you listen to all his favourite songs, the ones he knows all the words to, while he obnoxiously sings along and ignores your eye-rolling. but he doesn’t ignore how your feet start tapping absentmindedly to toby keith’s ‘whiskey girl’. the corner of his mouth quirks up in a smirk that quickly becomes a broad grin as he reaches over to smack your thigh, laughing he’ll make a country girl of you yet. startled out of your daze, you vehemently deny you weren’t enjoying the song, he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about. he insists he knows the best places to stop, which means you always end up driving far off the highway to some little mom and pop diner that has killer apple pie for lunch. in the evenings you always end up in some honky-tonk bar that’s joined to a motel and yes, there’s line dancing, and yes he manages to twist your arm and convince you to join in. 

ezra…..as a man who’s floated from planet to planet, following jobs and leads, for the better part of his life, he’s found himself smooth-talking his way into being a lot of people’s unexpected travel companion out of necessity over the years. road trip ezra is on the run from someone or something; maybe the law, maybe not. all you know is this beautiful, mysterious stranger you met under dubious circumstances somehow, with his roguish grin and drawling accent, his kind eyes and eloquence, convinced you to let him ride along with you. you ran into him in the grungy diner attached to an even grungier motel in some desolate nowhere town. you recognized him; he’s unmistakably the lone figure on the side of the dusty road, his thumb stuck out, that you drove past yesterday. you’d driven past but that blonde streak had been unmissable and you won’t admit it but you’d felt his gaze on you long after you’d left him in the dust. ezra’s endless chatter on the road isn’t unwelcome; he knows seemingly innumerable facts about local folklore, flora, and fauna, and he never seems to be depleted of stories. you’d made the conscious and contrary decision to make this cross-country road trip alone, rebelling against a lot of cautionary advice, but somewhere along the way loneliness had creeped in under your skin and settled there. this handsome stranger may have an edge of danger to him but later when he’s bringing you to heights of ecstasy in a motel room you won’t give a damn.

maxwell lord flies everywhere in a private jet. the worst.

din djarin’s entire life is basically one long never-ending road trip. but in space. i figure earth-bound din on a conventional road trip would basically be how we see him: no nonsense. no frivolities. no music; travels in total silence. gets where he needs to go. stops for soup, as needed. stops for repairs, as needed. stops to work an odd job with some really sketchy people for some gas money, as needed. din’s road trip energy would be like that john mulaney joke. you’d see the mcdonalds sign lit up and shining in the distance and plead for him to stop so he’d pull into the drive-thru, order one black coffee and keep driving. except if you’ve got the baby with you; he gets a chicken nugget happy meal for the kid. he’s a good papa! and of course you’d get whatever you wanted too, he provides and cares for his loved ones after all.

SEND ME ANY QUESTIONS/HC PROMPTS/REQUESTS YOU HAVE

[multicolouredbeanbag]

pt 3 sorting characters into hogwarts houses

Part 1    Part 2

Tl;dr: April Stevens is a Hufflepuff who projects Slytherin; at her core she is a loyalist and she values community, even though her definition of a community has become GREATLY limited due to… reasons.

so here’s the thing. April looks like a Slytherin. She talks like a Slytherin. She walks like a Slytherin. But I don’t think she actually IS a Slytherin.

Today I defend the idea that April Stevens is actually a Hufflepuff (primary, ie. her motivations/values) and a Ravenclaw secondary (methods/tactics). I absolutely love this character even tho she is a lil mean, and I think that viewing her through this framework does justice to her complexities/core of who she is.

I mention the primary/secondary sorting hats system in Part 1 so feel free to google that or read my other analyses first.

Spoilers below:

Let’s talk about April’s secondary first, which addresses the HOW of person. How they approach situations, how they problem solve.

HP canon often posits Ravenclaws as the “intelligent” character, and while April IS very smart, that’s not why I consider her a Ravenclaw.

April is a HUGE planner and collector of information. She likes to be prepared because it gives her control over a situation. She’s an excellent strategizer. She’s less comfortable with improvising without having some tools/contingency plans to draw from, so when she’s stressed, she has a tendency to fall back on the tools that she’s brought with her (in contrast to Sterling, who absolutely thrives in improvisation)

My first example is the debate tournament - as team captain, she’s in it to win it. Her strategy of choice is to prepare detailed dossiers on all the other team captains. This works well enough for her, until opponent debater Craig pulls a move she couldn’t anticipate (using his own research against her), and she falls to pieces. Still, she takes some time, gathers herself again, and pressures Sterling to use the dossier on Craig to take him down (contingency plan).

Other examples:

Asked Sterling to debate her when deciding whether to come out or not - girl RUNS on logic

April’s approach to school is very organized/planning based, she’s also kind of a major nerd OBVIOUSLY, so this is a more conventional representation of her Ravenclaw-ness

S1E1, she snatches the condom wrapper but retreats with the information probably for processing purposes. She makes a plan - use threat of exposure to blackmail Sterling into giving her the fellowship position, and doesn’t deviate from it, even when the plan fails. Sterling has to save her from that situation ultimately.

This is a little more vague, but I’m thinking about how April comes off as a rigid, somewhat inflexible character. She’s not very easily persuaded to change her behavior (this, of course, makes so much sense! When you think about being gay in the south like? Her reluctance to come out is completely understandable) which contrasts very severely against Sterling’s expressive fluidity. April is a lot more static, and part of that is because it’s difficult for her to thrive when it’s an area that she hasn’t had the opportunity to prepare/plan/study.

Now for the much more interesting and complicated part, April’s PRIMARY.

Again, the Primary is all about WHY someone does something. Their motivations and values. I argue that April Stevens is a true Hufflepuff because she places utmost importance on community.

The HP canon defining qualities of being Hufflepuff are patience and loyalty. It’s the fair and inclusive house. However, it would be reductive to suggest that all Hufflepuffs are friendly, warm individuals. They are bonded together not by their shared amity, but by their value of people and groups—community.

April’s “community” on the show is unfortunately tied to her family and the Christian community. She fears not belonging (bc homophobia) so she overcompensates by conforming aggressively (see, Straight-Straight alliance S1E1).

The episode that really sold this analysis for me was S1E7, when April and Sterling had a number of conversations about April’s dad.

April: “My dad used to call my family a team. And I worked so hard to be the very best version of myself because Team Stevens wins. Teams Stevens is perfect, except that it’s not.”

With these words, we get some insight into why she’s so intense and high-achieving and obsessive all the time. It’s not so much because she wants to win for herself, it’s more the fact that she’s part of a team. She does her part for the team by excelling everywhere she thinks it counts, and of course her underlying gayness contributes to her NEED to be perfect. In practice, it comes off as personal ambition, which is why April seems, at least on the surface, pretty slytherin-y. In reality, it must be more about compensating for something she feels she lacks. Team Stevens can’t be perfect if they’re ostracized by the community due to their (only?) child being gay, so of course she has to keep it to herself, and she has to be the best on all other counts so no one can ever touch them.

Another example, S1E6, at the tournament April says, “You know what’s going on with my family right now; we have become the black sheep of the entire community. I needed a win!” She projects her personal problems onto external academic goals.

This framework of achievement as a prerequisite of community, flawed as it is, seemed to be working for her, at least up until her dad was arrested for attacking a prostitute. In a conversation with Sterl, back when April was trying to steal the fellowship title:

S: Why are you doing this? Is it because of what’s going on with your family?

A: What John did is his problem.

S: He’s still your dad.

A: I don’t care. He beat up a prostitute! I’m not a fan of sex workers but they deserve to be safe!

She obviously feels confused and hurt that her dad lied to her and was violent to women, which is something she cannot stand. For a while, she drops her father like a hot potato, throwing away his letters from jail and ignoring his calls. Hufflepuffs value people—fair is fair.

But she kind of still supports him at the end anyway, when he comes home (s1E10). She must be feeling so conflicted when this happens. Dad is a part of family (established community) therefore she has to support him. Dad possibly hurt someone, but then he did get cleared of his charges. April is essentially making a choice between Dad and Sterling, established community vs. possible (in fact PROBABLE) community alienation.

Hufflepuff and Slytherins are both loyalists because they both care about people—Hufflepuff because they’re people, Slytherin because they’re THEIR people. For all intents and purposes, by S1E10, Sterling is one of April’s “people.” So how does April choose? She goes with the established community, which is really to say she chooses culture and tradition.

April has spent her entire life locking away a significant part of herself for the sake of her family and more generally, her religious community. In S1E8/S1E9, April is almost convinced to come out—FOR Sterling. She probably would have gone through with it were it not for her dad showing up the next episode. April obviously has (justified) reservations about coming out because it’s honestly pretty dangerous to be out in the south, and these circumstances haven’t changed just because she found a girl that she likes. But she is reluctantly on board because Sterling would have been there to take the leap with her… at this point, April had expanded her definition of community to include Sterling, and for a moment Sterling’s optimism had broken past April’s defenses. Then her dad comes back, and April realizes that she has to make a choice even though this choice hurts them both terribly—Sterling is after all, one person, and what is one person in the face of boundless historical tradition and family values?

Hufflepuff morality tends to be influenced by external inputs, while Slytherin morality tends to come from the internal, the gut. Hufflepuffs can and will ignore their internal feelings when they contradict with the needs of the community. Slytherins are less easily swayed by external influences if they are sure they are right.

April has shrunk down her loyalties to a more manageable level (truly, a very LIMITED circle), but still prioritizes fairness and loyalty and of course, second chances. It’s partly why she’s open to reconnecting with her father. Maintaining these loyalties comes at the cost of her relationship with Sterling, but this is something April is willing to do: self-sacrifice for (greater) community.

Just to take a step back, April and Sterling’s relationship back in 5th grade is just… fascinating. In S1E6, we find out that April’s whole grudge against Sterling comes from when Sterling “gave her away” to another group at recess. An odd event that they both remember differently, and who can say what really happened? All we know is that April’s animosity comes from this perceived slight— the abandonment by someone she once trusted and considered part of her community. It’s very telling that their rivalry stems from this particular moment, the fracturing of a loyalty, as opposed anything else.

April: “the past is the past, we’re all adults here” but alsooo April, >:’(

Another example: at the tournament, when April is trying to convince Sterling to use the dirt on Craig to secure their win.

S: I don’t know if I can stoop that low.

A: He did it to me!

April’s first instinct was a quid pro quo, you attack me, my group will attack you. Which is why she is so offended that Sterling refuses to take the shot, because in April’s mind, it’s only fair. This exchange supports the idea that April considers community first, ambition second.

I like to think that April hides her vulnerable side, her honest hopes and dreams, behind her external perfectionism and ambition. I like to think that she cares a lot, that she’s a prickly, distrustful, kind of Hufflepuff who craves validation because she thinks it’s a substitute for connection. And I would like to see her find that type of community, that she and EVERYBODY deserves: love that doesn’t contain (in her words) “a post condition that we follow their rules for love.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #461

“this city looks so pretty, do you wanna burn it with me?”

Have you ever wanted a Nikon camera? Or do you have one already? My camera before the one I have now was a Nikon D3200. I use a Canon now. Who was the last person (if anyone) you said Happy Birthday to? A friend. Do you have Photoshop? If so, how often a day do you use it? I have it, but I barely use it nowadays. I use it to edit photos for character profiles or profile pictures, add a watermark for my actual photography, and I used to make Mark-oriented gifs like crazy. They mostly did really well, so... I might wanna get back into that and get That Sweet Validation. Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? No. Have any of your exes gotten married or had kids since your breakup? None, I think. Do either of your parents have a mental illness? My mom has depression. Can you tolerate children for a long period of time? NO. Have you ever lived with someone you felt thoroughly uncomfortable around? No. Are you into dubstep? Yeah, I tend to enjoy it. Zelda or The Sims games? Can I pick neither? lol I don't feel very much at all for The Sims, and Zelda games have always looked... boring to me? Like I've watched most of the Game Grumps' playthroughs of all the games, and they make it hilarious of course, but the games themselves? Nah. Are you terrible at assigning bands their proper genre? YES YES YES YES YES YES. Even in my preferred category, that being metal, FUCK if I know the sub-genre. Have you ever made out in a closet? No, that shit sounds claustrophobic as hell. Have you ever been to a laser tag place? Yeah, on a triple-date once! It was SO fun. How do you wanna celebrate your next birthday? Have a couple friends over, pig out at The Cheesecake Factory. o3o Do you tease your parents about them being old? No, especially not Mom. She's self-conscious about getting older. Are you in love with someone? "In love" is a bit too far, buddy. But I love someone. Have you ever ridden a unicycle? No. Have you ever wanted a pet bunny? I was VERY serious about getting a lop-eared bunny for quite a while, but we just couldn't afford to adopt one (even off Craigslist) and get a cage for it, toys, etc. Are the bottom of your feet clean? I HATE seeing the bottom of my feet. Not because they're dirty, but because it's Callus City. I ain't even fuckin jokin'. Do you like really salty food? Yeah. :x When’s the last time you bled a lot? Well, I just recently finished my cycle after not menstruating for three or four MONTHS, so you can figure that one out. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin? Yeah. I like to know exactly when it's coming. Have you ever seen someone get a piercing/tattoo? Yes to both. When you’re done eating finger foods, do you usually lick your fingers? Usually kasdjlf;kalsdjf shut up ok I like food. What’s the most racist thing you have ever said? As a little kid, when my really good friend (a neighborhood kid, even) asked if he thought we'd be a good couple, I told him no because "blacks and whites don't date" or something like that. It was an idea I'd never been exposed to before; the idea was so foreign to little kid me. I had no idea I was being racist. It ended in a small fight and we didn't talk for a few days 'til he came to my house telling Mom that he had to "be a man" and fix this and if that ain't the cUTEST SHIT RIGHT THERE. We were friends again after that. He's still on my Facebook, and he actually semi-recently got married! :') Do you know someone that is mute, deaf or blind? No. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Does weed smell good? Or no? Ugh, no. Where do you see your closest friend in ten years? Successful and happy she kept pushing. Mama to so many reptiles that are blessed with the best lives possible in human care. Got at least one amazing book out there. If she's reading this, you've fucking got this. <3 Would you like to have twins? Mother of fucking god, no. Even if I WANTED kids, do fucking not give me twins. Who was the last person you got into an argument with? My mom. Want to have kids before you’re 30? Once again, I don't want kids, but IF I did, that'd be preferable before the risk of birth defects and other issues climb with age. Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? My older sister has my initial. Do you think somebody’s in love with you? No. Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in ten years? Yes, I genuinely do. Who were the last people to hang out at your house? Miss Tobey, our friend and landlord. Does anyone like you? Welp... I hope he still does. Guess we'll figure that out soon. What person on your Facebook do you talk to the most? VIA Facebook? Probably my friend Lyndsey. She likes to comment on stuff I share. Do you want to fall in love? I do, but I'm also utterly horrified to and risk being hurt again. Are you interested in more than one person at the moment? No. Once I realized I was so deeply into Girt, all other romantic feelings kinda just... poofed. How was your last break up? Civil and done with both of our best interests in mind. What is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to say? Probably the first time I admitted I needed to go to the hospital for suicidal thoughts. I was so, so scared of what it was going to be like. What is the hardest thing you NEEDED to hear? That if Jason wasn't happy with me, he had every right to move on. She was right. Do you treat yourself well? No... but I'm trying to change that. What was the last song you sang out loud to? This "Set Fire to the Rain" cover. Do you take good pictures? I think I do? Have you ever done any internship? No. What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? Holy shit, so much, especially when it comes to morality and political stances. I am now a massive supporter and member of the LGBTQ+ community, I'm pro-trans rights, pro-choice... I've done like a dozen 180s in a lot of topics. Do you know anyone who has a PhD? I mean, some doctors, but no one in my truly personal life. Do you know anyone who works as a lawyer? Yes: my cousin. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? LAKSDJFKLA;JWD NEVER AND I PRAY TO THE HOLY LORD THAT I NEVER DO. Does the thought of having wrinkles when you’re older upset you? Not massively? Like literally everyone gets them and is natural and inevitable. Do you know anyone who’s struggling with addiction? I know one alcoholic, and one that's probably borderline. I also have two friends who are extremely addicted to weed. Look me in the eyes and say it's not an addictive substance and I wouldn't believe you one bit. Is there a video or computer game that you can get lost in for hours? Eh, sometimes World of Warcraft. Some days I'm really into it, and others I barely touch it. What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? I have no clue. I don't even remember movies that were made *for* Disney exclusively. Do you ever have to do yard work? No. We have a friend from the dance studio mow the lawn. Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? My iPod has a whole live album of Ozzy. Did you or do you listen to Britney Spears songs? Both did and do. Britney is a boss bitch. Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? Male. Have you seen the movie Moulin Rouge? No, but I've seen some of that P!nk music video of the song and it brings out the Gay in me. Do you have a key to anything besides your house? No. Could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle? I've done that before. I miss doing puzzles... Have you ever been to any sort of convention? I went to a reptile expo with Sara!! I REALLY want to go to another when my legs are stronger and can handle standing and walking so much. Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom. Have you ever tried to walk on a moving vehicle and fallen over? No????? What is your favourite kind of bread? Is there any of that in your house? Pumpernickel. No. Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play? I played the flute all through middle school and I wanna say half of HS. Have you ever ordered an unusual drink at a bar? Never even been to one. Have you ever been pulled aside by security at the airport? I think once for some reason I don't recall? What is your favourite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times) Gingerbread men, probs. Or chocolate bunnies!!! :') How do you feel right now? My stomach is KILLING me. I'm super excited though that Girt is coming over tomorrow. Have you ever had surgery that kept you in the hospital for over a day? No. What would you like your generation to change? How we treat nature. Is there anyone that you truly could not live without? No. I learned that is a very unhealthy mentality to have. Do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked? I just hate carrots. What restaurant did you last go out to dinner at with friends? With friends? I couldn't even guess. Does your refrigerator have an ice maker or do you use ice cube trays? It has an ice maker. Do you have a favorite sibling, if any? No; I love them all. Do you have a favorite brand of clothing? I STAN CLOAK. How’s the love life? Something new might start tomorrow. I think it will. Do you watch the news? No; that shit is depressing. Who do you admire most? Mark. Do you have a favorite album? Black Rain by Ozzy Osbourne takes the cake and always will.

[kissing-monsters]

11 + 12, and 22 + 23 for the salty ask list, any fandom you wanna talk about.

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I guess Griffith (Berserk) comes to mind (probably because you're the person asking ha), but I know he's generally deeply hated in the wider Berserk fandom. I think the why of that is generally just Straight People in some venn diagram crossover with Media Must Be Morally Acceptable people.

Within fandoms that are... gayer? I guess I don't tend to have any super controversial favourites that I can think of. I tend to like fairly main characters and apart from occasionally I do tend to like not nice characters who do horrible things, so that has some awkwardness (usually from the Media Must Be Morally Acceptable brigade, but this time the Gay Side).

Since I've been into Walking Dead recently, I have seen a lot of very painful and dull arguments about Negan being irredeemable (because of course, if you do bad things, you can never ever ever do good and people are morally obliged to hate you for all eternity and you can't REALLY change or grow), so I guess I'll also say Negan to an extent, but he's also incredibly popular at the same time so. Hm.

Oh and from back in the day, there was a tiny little fandom for Hard Core Logo (it's still around I'm sure, just very quiet now), and there was quite a strong divide between people who hated Billy or Joe more, and I definitely am firmly on side I Love Joe Dick, which could get you shouted at because he's more loudly an awful person.

OH and Kylo Ren. TBH fandom is largely right to hate him, but I don't. I love him. He's horrible.

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I actually have no idea, I'm sure as soon as I post this I'll think of an answer ha.

22. Popular character you hate?

I hate Steve Rodgers and Black Widow and like 50% of all Marvel movie characters and I'm painfully indifferent to almost all the rest (I like Harley Quinn and like Loki and Thor occasionally).

I don't HATE Castiel, but I DEEPLY hate the portion of fandom that's desperately into Dean/Cas and bayed for it to be canon, and that's kind of annoyed me to an extent that poor Cas is sort of tainted for me.

23. Unpopular character you love?

Griffith again? Hm. I enjoy Quark on DS9 and I think he's pretty polarising, ha.

I super love Trapper John from M*A*S*H, and he's also definitely one some people loath (especially in comparison to BJ, which is hilarious to me because you don't have to choose but like go off).

I also liked Shane from Walking Dead, who is definitely polarising or unpopular.

I think I tend to like a lot of controversial or unpopular ships (good luck y'all when you find out how much I love Johnny/Archie ahem), but as far as individual characters go I'm pretty conventional and tend to be a Main Character kind of enjoyer of media (I think because I'm so uncomfortable watching things when I don't like prominent characters I just don't watch them, so I tend to be pretty much on trend with who I like most).

Mind you, all those answers answered, I am A HUNDRED PERCENT SURE I forgot characters/fandoms I could have talked about, ha.

Also popular (widely in nerd culture + mainstream culture) and popular (fandom) are wildly different, this has made me realise.