#(but secretly that worked out because they both thought the other seemed lonely... now they're both not alone anymore! ;v; )

[disneysdead]

wanted plots

friends

longtime, lowkey, good friends. they go on hikes together and grab lunch. they’re not attached at the hip so sometimes the public forgets they’re friends.

gym buddies. selena does not have a dedicated gym routine. however, she would like to. maybe they act as a bit of a life coach for her in terms of helping her find motivation to keep up at her routine.

coffee buddies. maybe they workout together or they meet up after her workout. she’s all sweaty and gross and they’re all presentable, ready to go about their day. she feels a little insecure about it, but they’re super reassuring and make her feel comfortable. maybe this is the only downtime both of them have that accommodates their schedules so this is their tradition.

best friends. they act more like family at this point. they have a key to each other's places and stop by whenever they want. they might share clothes or at least steal some fries off the other's plate without asking. there aren't many boundaries because they've been close for so long.

friend that's bad for their career. when they're together, controversy seems to catch like wildfire. they don't even have to do anything that scandalous. they're just a lot more open around each other and it comes across like they're party animals/mean girls/etc to the public.

unexpected friends. recently became friends. everyone thought they'd be enemies because people are constantly pitting them against each other. that, or people don't think they have anything in common and it seems pretty random that they hangout.

enemies/negative

friends that drifted apart. they used to be best friends and that was public knowledge. there was a rift that became apparent when they went from hanging out all the time and posting pictures of their sleepovers and shenanigans to unfollowing each other and ducking questions about each other. no one really knows why they stopped being friends so abruptly, but it’s clear it wasn’t amicable.

at each other's throats. both personally and professionally, muse a gets judged for things muse b often gets away with. muse a holds a grudge because of it.

lovers

a relationship of convenience. maybe they were friends of friends so they already knew each other, but they weren’t super close. maybe they briefly worked on a project together. they were both lonely and they like having someone to come home to, even if they don’t know each other that well. or maybe they met through a matchmaker and, both not having much success with their relationships, decided to try something new by moving in with each other and getting to know each other that way. or maybe they’re fwb housemates. idk man. i just want a lowkey relationship plot where selena can be like, “hey, babe. i’m going in the pool. wanna join?” after a long day. fuss free, not too much drama or angst and not super fluffy either. maybe some angst down the road because they know they're kidding themselves and they're not happy.

muse a was in a relatively happy relationship, albeit a little less exciting than they were used to. that didn’t stop muse b from flirting with muse a at every turn. eventually, muse a decided to break up with their significant other to be with muse b. they told muse b they could finally be together, which surprised muse b. they said they weren't looking for a relationship – just to hookup. muse a felt like such a fool for leaving a happy relationship for someone who didn’t even want them.

flirtationship between two people who can't stand each other. they strongly disagree on enough things that they have no interest in dating each other. however, there is a palpable amount of chemistry which leads to them bickering just to be around each other. (charlie puth was my intended opposite when first requesting this connection, but i'm open to other faces.)

secretly dated once upon a time and the public never found out. maybe they're strictly friends now and they laugh it off when people think they're dating, the public not realizing they already tried their hand at that long ago.

exes that ended on bad terms and still have to work together.

etc

friend of a friend. despite having multiple friends in common, they never really clicked. they (probably) don't hate each other. they just can't seem to make it work. they try, making uncomfortable small talk from time to time.

[yourlocallosernamedgreenookie]

A new song character!! (Another QotSA one, too!)

Based off of Everybody Knows That You’re Insane, an old favorite of mine!

[milkytheholy1]

We’re not done here

Request: How about a Donnie x Reader where the reader is really self-conscious about their body and has pretty sucky self-esteem? I feel like it'd be cute with how Donnie secretly relates and has enough confidence for the both of them! 💜 (Female or gender-neutral is fine I think! >w

A/N: hey so I didn't really delve in deep to Donnie's insecurities, they're kind of mentioned and if you read into things a bit more you might be able to see them idk. Hope you enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Staring at your solum face in the mirror, you frowned at your reflection. Your eyes trace over your features, using your fingers to tug at the bags under your eyes and the acne that could be a dot-to-dot game on your face. Gazing down towards your stomach and thighs, you released a sigh; a lone tear slipping down your cheek. How could anyone ever like me?

A gentle ringing brought you back to reality, wiping away the onslaught of tears that dribbled down your face, you went on the hunt for your phone. The song 'Weird Science' rang from under your blanket laying askew on your bed, rummaging your hand under the plush material your fingers felt the hard contact of your phone. Finally gazing at the caller ID your heart froze, if the song hadn't given it away then you would have been surprised to see him calling you.

"Hey, are you coming over today? I want to show you these improvements I've made with my battle shell, I'd show my brothers buuuuuuut they never appreciate my brilliance."

You heaved a shaky breath, hearing his voice did things to your already shattered confidence. The line was quiet, realising that you hadn't said anything your brain went into overtime trying to come up with an excuse "I-I don't think I can make it Donnie I've got a lot of, erm, school work to do, yeah that's what I'm going with." You didn't want to lie to Donnie, but with the crush coming on so suddenly your mind hadn't had time to process it. Sure Donnie was a turtle, but even a turtle had standards, what would Donnie see in you besides a friend?

Ever since your feelings towards Donnie started leaning to the 'way more than friends' side, it suddenly dawned on you how you dressed and acted around him was extremely important. You couldn't just rock up in leggings and a hoody, now you had to make more of an effort. Over the past few months the guys never saw you without makeup, your excuse was that you just wanted to look nice but in reality, it was because you were ashamed of the way your face was peppered with spots and eye bags that could hold groceries for a hundred families.

The clothes, as mentioned before, changed as well. You no longer came in your oversides hoody and leggings but sometimes in jeans or a skirt, and if you were feeling a little bit of confidence, a dress. The turtles had never said anything about your sudden change and care in your appearance, the first time they saw it they thought it was a one-off; but after the fifth time that week, they knew something was up. With no debates needed, they selected Donnie to be the one to talk to you since you seemed to spend more time with him than the others.

He protested at first, quoting that he wasn't good with 'girl stuff' but when Leo gave him an unamused frown and a snarky "None of us are!" it shut him right up. For days Donnie paced back and forth in his lab thinking of ways to ask you what was wrong, he knew how stubborn you were and expected that it wouldn't be easy to get the information out of you just like that. Consouling the internet, April and even Splinter (which was a massive mistake on its own), Donnie had given up and just opted to be straight with you.

"Oh come on (Y/N) you're the only person that will listen to me about this stuff," he begged. Shaking your head, you could feel your brain laughing at you amused that you were listening to your heart and not logic. With a shaky voice, dually noted by Donnie, you gave him your reply "I-I don't know Donnie, my school work is really impor-"

"If it's that important to you just bring it with you, then maybe I can help you with it, you know, if I have time and stuff." You knew you weren't going to be able to get out of this, with an irritated groan you agreed to see him "OH, FAB-O BOOOOTS!" he yelled into his phone, causing you to wince in pain. When the call ended you stared at your phone screen, watching the illuminated screen fade away and your saddened reflection staring back up at you.

-At the lair-

Your shoes barely made a sound as you strolled into the lair, it was oddly quiet, maybe the boys aren't here? "Ah (Y/N) you made it and just in time too," Donnie's lanky frame popped out from the kitchen, his eyes shifting between you and his tech-brace. Walking to you, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder allowing him to drag you to his lab. Ignoring the blush that covered your cheeks, he continued to rant as he unwrapped his arm from around you and carried on poking his fingers against the tech-brace.

"Listen my brothers are going to be out of the lair for a while, something about finding the perfect pizza toppings, which gives me ample time to demonstrate to you all the new things I installed onto my battle shell."

You stood at the entrance of his lab, watching as he waltzed in and started digging around for some technological thing. Turning back to you, he tilted his head in curiosity, eyes tracing over your blushing form "Where's your schoolwork?" he asked with a smirk. Your eyes widened in surprise, how could you forget? I mean, sure, the school work didn't exist in the first place but Donnie didn't know that.

"I, er, I-"

"Oh give it up (Y/N), I know there wasn't any schoolwork you just wanted to-" he stopped himself, his snarky smirk quickly vanishing and replaced by a frown. His voice came out as a whisper "Avoid me." Oh how he could not be any more wrong, you wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with him. But you couldn't. Donnie was many things: strong, talented, intelligent, funny and what were you? Adding on from your useless personality, what did you have to offer him physically? Some fatty thighs and a jiggly stomach.

Tears started forming in your eyes, cascading down your cheeks like a running river. Donnie faintly heard sniffing, casting a glance to you he saw you curling in on yourself. Your shoulders were bent forward, hunched around your neck, your fingers were tangled together, writhing underneath his gaze. You looked so...small.

"(Y/N)" You'd never heard Donnie's voice this soft before, not sparing him a glance you turned your back to him, "I think- I-I think I'm going to go now." Donnie bolted forward, trapping you from leaving. Finally looking up at him, Donnie saw the flare of your nostrils, the black mascara staining your cheeks. He rubbed his thumb over your soft skin, pulling it back he saw your foundation slightly smudged on his green skin. Donnie grabbed your hand and pulled you to the family bathroom muttering a small "Come with me."

It was quiet, neither of you spoke a single word as you watched him rummage around the bathroom cabinet. Hearing a muttered, "There you are.", Donnie came back to face you with a pack of make-up wipes in his hand. Lifting a wipe to your face, he saw the feral look in your eye, indicating to the wipe and then your face he asked for your permission "May I?" You meekly nodded, awed at how gently he wiped away the mask of make-up you had been wearing.

Once he was done, he turned to throw it away, catching your face in the mirror he saw how disgusted you looked. Raising a brow at you, he sat by you on the edge of the bathtub "What's going on with you recently? You've been acting...different. Did I do something? Did I cause you to change?" You were getting sick of how many times you had to push the tears away, but no matter what they still kept falling.

"I-it's not your fault D, it's just in my head. It's nothing."

"Well, it has to be something. One day you come in here not caring about the whole make-up fad and then the next day you can't leave the house without it? Did someone say something to you, is that why you decided to change?"

"They didn't have to say anything Don," you muttered, your eyes boring into his own. Donnie looked back at you, his mind running through all your interactions with him and his brothers trying to figure out who upset you and how he was going to deal with it. But what if it was him? What if he was the one that said some off-handed comment to you and you took it to heart? Donnie would never be able to forgive himself if he were the reason that you had so desperately changed.

"I...Can you elaborate?" holding the edge of the bathtub in your tight grip you shunned away from his gaze. Staring in the mirror ahead of you, your eyes trailed up your form mindlessly speaking out all the things you thought were wrong with you. Donnie listened to you throughout the whole thing, he had no idea that that's how you felt about yourself.

"-my thighs wobble and shake when I walk and I hate it, I see people out in New York all the time with their short skirts and shorts. I could never wear anything like that." Taking your silence as a cue that you finished, Donnie waded out the possible outcomes of his next words "But there's more, isn't there?" You released a shaky breath, slowly nodding your head you gaze was glued to the bathroom floor "I could never be enough for anyone, I could never be enough for you. You could never fall for me like how I fell for you, just spare me the time and go out with April or some other person better looking than me." you grumbled, anger slowly rising in your tone.

"Well, I can't do that because the most beautiful person is sat right next to me and I would be but a fool to miss such a presented opportunity." Looking back to Donnie, a soft smile on his face, you blinked up at him confused "I-I don't understand, what are you saying right now." It was more of a statement than a question, you had heard and understood what he said but you didn't believe it. Your mind had been so focused on the thought that Donnie could never be more than a friend with you, that it never even entertained the opposite thought.

"(Y/N), sure I'm a turtle and you're a human, but you are by far the best-looking human I've ever seen. So what your thighs wobble when you walk? I love it. You're so warm, like, all the time and as someone from the cold-blooded species, I appreciate that more than you'll ever know." Donnie continued to ramble on, things ranging from compliments to scientific studies of body fat and how beneficial it is. Although once he saw the confused look on your face he stopped.

Taking his hand in your own, he looked down at you fondly, smiling to himself "I like you way too much to care if you're wearing make-up or not. By the way, I love the make-up look, I really do, but I want to see the (Y/N) who would walk around in a hoody that looked like it was drowning them." Laughing at his awkward confession, you leaned forward and lightly kissed the end of his snout. Donnie turned all shades of pink as a result of your actions, making you laugh more, grabbing his hand you heaved him up and pulled him back to his lab "C'mon, you said you wanted to show me something, right?"

"But I'm not done complimenting you yet," he argued, trailing behind you like a lost puppy. Donnie stared at his hand intertwined with your own, turning your head to him, you shrugged "You can do it later." Catching up to your side, you walked to his lab in silence. Donnie gave you the side-eye muttering "You know we're not done talking about this right?", you turned your head to face him, offering him a quick wink and a seductive smile you replied, "I know."

[welldonekhushi]

To Love An Indian | Tony Stark x Desi!Reader

Summary: The reader is a desi woman who was appointed as an assistant by Tony Stark. How will your relationship with the billionaire genius go?

Warnings: All fluff, used Hindi language! Translations are available.

Word Count: 2,914

The special fact about you was, being an Indian was something common about when you live in a western country.

Mostly migrate to other places for finding a job, same as you. Never believed once in your life, you're going to get a job of an assistant. For a billionaire genius, and a superhero.

Everyone in your family was so happy about it, at least they have expectations that their daughter will finally make her name and earn. Maybe find someone special that you find to be perfect in your life?

Your mom and dad always worked hard for you for a better future and lifestyle. They never been so happier when they found out you were being appointed for a job in America. They felt so successful and proud for making their daughter educated enough to send her further.

Your flight was tomorrow, but the nervousness just kicks inside that how would your interview go. It was actually Tony Stark, the genius, billionaire, playboy and philanthropist. You can't even mess up with him. But, there was one thing which bugged you about, a tingly feeling.

You remember him since the day when the world was saved from the Chitauri invasion, and everyone was celebrating about the victory of heroes. It filled throughout the Indian media, about the new superheroes, named as the Avengers, who fight the inside and outside evils. The moment Iron Man showed on the screen, you were left surprised. You kept staring at the hero saving others and making sure if they're secure.

Mostly! When he opened his mask, and revealed his face, everyone held such shocked faces, like they never knew Iron Man was basically a human inside controlling the suit.

"Lo, hum joh isse robot samaj rahe the, yeh toh insaan nikala!" Your grandmother exclaimed. (Wow, we thought he was robot, but he turned out to be a human?)

"Chodo na, dadi. Hai toh hero, na?" You replied, turning back to the television. (Leave, grandma. At least he's a hero, right?)

But, you kept looking at his face. The way he spoke, the way he actions, and everything. You were lost into the man, that suddenly you revealed your smile, your sister noticing it.

"Didi, kya hogaya?" Your sister broke your contact, making you jerk in an instant. (What's wrong, sis?)

"O-oh, k-kuch nahi. Bas me usse dekh rahi thi, baat karte hue." You stammered, looking back. (Oh, it's nothing. I was just looking at him, talking.)

"Oho, pyaar me toh nahi pad gaye na?" Your sister teased, making you blush. (Oh, are you falling in love, huh?)

"Aree! Pagal toh nahi ho? Of course nahi! Hero hai, respect karti hu." (Hey! Are you crazy? Of course no! He's a hero, and I respect him.)

You did appreciate him, but this kind of respect leading to somewhere else.

It was morning, and the time for your flight. Bidding everyone a heartwarming farewell, hoping to see your family soon again.

"Beta araam se jaana. Maine tere liye bahut saari kheer banayi hai. Kha lena agar bhuk lagi toh, thik hai?" (Dear, go easy while you leave. I made lots of pudding for you, so eat it if you feel hungry, alright?)

"Haa maa, ghabrao nahi. Me araam se jaaungi. Ashirvad do bas." You kneeled down to take blessing from your mom and dad, them giving it back. (Yes, mom don't worry. I'll go easy, just give me your blessing.)

"Khush raho, beti. Kaam karna aur naam roshan karna." Your father removed his spectacles, crying tears for her daughter leaving. (Be happy, my daughter. Work hard and make your name bright.)

You hugged your dad, weeping because he wasn't ready to accept the fact you were now leaving him for a long time. After breaking the hug, you wiped his tears, giving him confidence.

Stepping in the taxi, you bid them goodbye, waving your hand and leaving for the airport.

Your new life now began, the moment you entered America. Landing, you then stayed in the hotel for the night, tired and exhausted. But, along that you wanted to remember your lines, so you quickly revise and go to sleep. In the morning, you hurriedly reach Stark Tower for the interview, since the time was running a bit fast.

Entering in the huge interior, looking at a lot of people working in. It did made your nervousness kick in again, but behaved like a strong woman, just wanting to complete the interview as a badass.

You reached the receptionist. "Excuse me, can you tell me where will Mr. Stark take the interview?"

"Oh, on the 15th floor, meeting rooms."

"Thank you." You smiled, reaching the elevator and waiting for the floor to arrive. Checking your watch, you were two minutes late, but hoping they'll just manage. Entering the room, feeling the slight cold air hitting your skin. It seemed empty, but hoped he was waiting for a while.

"Uhm, Mr. Stark?" You called out.

"Come in, Miss (L/N)." A deep, masculine voice filled through the room, knowing someone was actually in. Stepping inside, and closing the door, you seat yourself, trying to hide away your nervousness. It seemed you were slowly forgetting your lines but, being a strong woman is your passion right? Who even can—

The moment the chair turned around towards your direction, you lost it. It looks like you totally forgot the lines now.

Because Tony Stark just faced in front of you.

Did you just, blush? No, it might be embarassment. But, he too stared at you for a while. It was like an awkward staring contest, but remembering you were here for an interview, you brought yourself back.

"Good morning, Mr. Stark. Sorry for being so late." You wipe off the flick of hair on your face.

"It's okay. At least you were on time." He replied, giving a smile. Damn, it was cute.

"So, Miss (L/N). You're from, India right?" He asked, looking at your documents.

"Y-yes! I'm from India, also fully graduated from college."

"What really made you accept this assistant job?" He started asking questions.

"I just don't want to work for money, but I want to find what better I can do while I'm by myself."

"That's everyone's expectations. We should really try something new, and it's a fact of finding your true self."

"Right." You nodded.

"Alright, I have appointed you, congrats." He closed the document and gave a grin.

You widen your eyes. "What? I-I thought you were going to ask more questions..?"

"I don't ask many of them, I know you're capable for everything so, no need." He shrugged.

"W-wow.. I mean, it's way different back there.. haha. What a prick I am." You chuckled.

"You shouldn't actually be uncomfortable or nervous around me, okay? I'll always be available for your problems." He stood up from his chair, and you also too. Offering his hand for a handshake, and you happily accept it.

"Congratulations for the job, Miss (L/N)."

"Aapka bahut, bahut dhanyawad." You accidentally speak in your language, making you cover your mouth in surprise. (Thank you very much.)

He raised his eyebrow in confusion, not sure what you really meant. "Excuse me?" He tilts his head, smirking.

"I-I meant, thank you for accepting me as your assistant, Mr. Stark.. I'm sorry about that." You replied, trying not to fluster from embarassment. But, it didn't seem to make him feel weird, he was like.. more interested?

"No no, it's fine. Accidents happen, but your language is just beautiful. Just tell me whenever you're about to speak Hindi, JARVIS, my AI will help me translate it." He chuckled, and you laugh back.

"Mr. Stark you're so funny." You shook your head and continued to laugh. He sees you smile, which somehow warmed his heart. You might not notice it, but something was being created in between.

And time actually told that, when you both worked together for a long time.

"Please, call me Tony."

✧

Years while working with Stark, you really enjoyed the job. He was a sweet, generous person who will look after you, hoping nothing worse happens. It kind of made you both like good friends, later on. Everytime you looked at him, some strange feelings always attacked you. You can't even guess what it means, but maybe because you really appreciate him.

One day came, when you even noticed about his weaknesses. It made you worry when he never came upstairs to sleep, so after a lot of convincing, he accepted your plead and slept. Even it became more forward, when Tony faced nightmares, and wanted to sleep with someone by his side.

He had been lonely, and it hurts.

His tired face made you want to rub it gently, and relax him to sleep. But, it looks like, you weren't friends anymore.

The way he became more protective and caring throughout your job in his mansion. Like a boyfriend.

But, the question came, does he even love you back, that you're feeling it all?

In the morning, Tony woke up to see the side of the bed empty. Maybe you were up early and started working. He got up and rubbed his hair, went downstairs to get some coffee. While drinking, he suddenly heard someone.. singing?

It didn't seem like an English song. It was foreign.

He could even hear the feminine sound softly, coming from the othe room.

Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji,

Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji,

Tu ki jaane pyaar mera, me karu intezaar tera,

Tu dil tuhiyo jaan meri

Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji,

When he slowly entered the room, you were the one singing while cleaning up the documents. Seriously, he never knew you sang so well. It literally made him feel so surprised, by seeing your other talent. He leaned on the door ledge, hearing you sing beautifully without noticing, like he was lost into it.

Everyday, whenever you used to sing this song while working, he secretly saw you and always adored your voice. It just made him fall in love.

On a particular day, he heard you sing the same song again. He stepped in the room, seeing your beautiful face and voice again.

In midway of your song, you turn around and see him on the doorway, and you gasped. "O-oh, Mr. Stark! G-good morning!"

"Good morning." He replied in his groggy, morning voice. "I never knew you sang so well. You never told me you even sing." He chuckled.

"Really..? I uhm, used to sing but, I had different plans.." You rub your hair, looking embarassed.

"But you sing so well.. I'm amazed." He smiled. "Problem is, I didn't understand because, that's a different language. God, I need to take Hindi classes from you, dang. What does it mean?"

You both laughed. "This song.. uhm actually is about, a lover, explaining his.. other lover that, he can't live without her, because they're deeply attached to each other. It's my favorite song, by the way."

"Oh really? You're into romantic songs, it seems." He raised his eyebrow and smirked, finding a seat.

"Yeah but, uhm.. because they show a lot meaning, even after I'm just a single-pringle, haha. Weird isn't it?"

He stared at you for sometime, it wasn't serious, but gentle. "It's not."

You blushed, don't know why but the tone of his voice dragged into it. Both kept staring at each, and had no idea about the surroundings.

You were the one to break through, coming back to reality. "Oh! S-sorry I just got lost.. a while back."

He got up from his chair, and went closer to your direction. Looking at each other's eyes, he found yours the most beautiful. Felt like he can swim in it. Caressing your cheek and rubbing it with his thumb, you started to panic inside, not able to notice what's happening now.

"Y/N.." He said, in a soft voice. "I.. wanted to ask about something."

You gulped, still flustered. "W-what is it?"

He realised something else, and then cleared his throat. ".. can you, teach me Hindi?"

"Huh?" You looked surprised.

"Yeah, I told a very while back, that I will once ask you to teach me Hindi. I'm very interested, can you please?" He flashed a grin. Like, there was no problem for you to teach him your language. It's good to make others know about your culture.

You gave him a nod as a reply, and he became excited. "Thank you, I'll gladly be your student, Miss Y/N."

✧

For weeks, Tony had been taking Hindi classes from you. I swear, it could have been tough for him, but he was just so interested to learn the language. All you know he was just keen so you were teaching him all that. Giving him assignments and worksheets with grammar, you helped him through everything.

"Maine khana khaya.." You said the words, and waited for him to recite back. (I ate my food.)

"Maine khana.. khaya? Did I say it right?" He replied, in a weird way because his American accent was also mixing in between.

"No no, you're going correctly! Now say it again."

"Maine khana khaya." Tony said it properly.

"Good! I'm proud of you. Damn, Tony. You're going good in this language."

"For you, I can do anything, even learning a tough language."

The moment which left you blank again. He still fixed his soft eyes with yours, clearing your throat to break the tension.

"Okay so, do you have any doubts so far?

"Well, uh. I have a doubt, many of them." He rubbed his nose.

"Ask me."

He first rubs his hands nervously, then looks back at you. "How do you say.. love in Hindi?"

"Oh, well.. pyaar." You replied, being straightforward.

"Okay.. now how do we say, you're beautiful in it?"

You felt a tingly feel in your stomach, but still continued. "Tum khoobsurat ho."

He chuckles. "Alright. Now, if I ask my final doubt.. how do I say.. I love you?"

You gasped. Did he really mean it? Clenching your pen, you became nervous.

"Tell me, my love. I want to know about it."

".. me tumse pyaar karta hu."

"Yes, that is what I wanted to hear." He skids closer to you, growing close to your face.

"Mujhe tumse pyaar hai." He said, properly in Hindi. You felt like to explode. Tony Stark.. loves you?

Suddenly, he gets up from the couch, offering his hand. You grab it and get up, till a familiar song plays in the room.

Tony grabbed your waist from one arm and your hand from the other, swifting to the movements as if they're dancing.

He started singing the song, when the verse began.

- play it now! -

"Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji.." He sang the line so perfectly. You were just shocked and surprised. Both were dancing like a couple on stage.

Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji..

Tu ki jaane pyaar mera, me karu intezaar tera,

Tu dil tuhiyo jaan meri

Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji..

While he was singing your favorite song, you were about to burst in tears. You never believed it. The billionaire genius, actually loved you this whole time. Happily resting your head on his chest, he continued to dance while holding you close. When the song finished, he still saw the tears in your eyes.

"D-did you wanted to learn Hindi.. b-because of all this?" Your voice cracked.

"Yes, my love. Just for you. I have to tell this but.. I fell in love the moment I saw you for the first time. Your smile, laugh, voice, behavior, eyes.. and your.."

"And your.. what?"

He sighed, and then leaned to close the gap between your lips. The kiss was sweet yet passionate, like he waited for this moment.

He pulled off for air, both of your gazes neutrally looking. "I'm surprised that I fell in love with an Indian, like you. But, you're pretty, no matter what nationality you belong to. You changed my life Y/N. Trust me, the way you took care of, pampered, and worried for me.. I can never forget that. I really love you for that, my love. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.. d-do you accept me as your boyfriend?"

You started to sob, clenching his shirt tight. Maybe she wasn't happy about it. "L-look, if you don't accept, it's okay.. you deserve. Alot better than—"

"Yes, yes and a million times yes!" You said excitedly, and he sighs in relief. "Did you like.. learn the entire song?"

"Yeah, I even did take help from JARVIS for the translation, also from your teachings, never forgetting that." He winked.

"Oh god.." You laughed.

"But come on, you didn't like it? Tell me!"

"I did, Tony. And I want to thank you for it, a lot."

He gently wipes off your tears, and kisses your forehead. "Now, do you want to celebrate for our engagement?"

"Like where, Mr. Stark?" You said, flirtatiously.

He darkens his eyes, and picks you in the bridal style. "Right in our shared bedroom, sweetheart." He takes you in the room while giggling, shutting the door from inside.

[mccnglade]

many reasons; dazai osamu

DAZAI OSAMU X READER

In hindsight, you should have realised that running after Dazai was not a good decision on your part...

WORD COUNT: 1.8K words

WARNINGS: mentions of suicide, abuse (not reader's), angst (if you squint), fluffy ending. MILD SPOILERS FOR BUNGO STRAY DOGS SEASON 3

(e/c) - eye color

A/N: sorry if the formatting is a bit wonky!! i'm posting this on mobile because tumblr doesn't work on my stupid, old laptop.

this fic is really super, self-indulgent because dazai is my favorite in bsd and i love when situations like the one in this one shot happen in anime, so i combined the two things and wrote this. this was actually going be a scene in a dazai fic i'm thinking of posting on my wattpad, but i decided to scrap it and write it as a oneshot. i hope you all enjoy reading this!!

Also shoutout to @neonghxst who wanted me to finish this one shot hehe. thanks to her, i got the inspiration to actually write this and finish it.

"Are you sure we should have left him like that?"

You fiddled with the ends of your coat sleeves. Upon hearing about Atsushi's new case and the end result, you immediately wanted to give the boy a hug and never let him go. He had been through so much these past few weeks and hearing about the death of that abusive headmaster of his old orphanage must have been incredibly painful.

But Dazai had promptly pulled you away, after saying exactly what needed to be said. (He always knew what to say in any kind of situation and that made you feel jealous a lot of times)

"Things like that are meant to be dealt with alone. Atsushi-kun will manage," Dazai answered with a cool tone. "You worry too much, (Y/N)-chan."

He tried to ruffle your hair but you slapped his hand away with a huff.

"I have every right to worry, you know," You crossed your arms, angrily staring at the ground. You and Dazai had already left the port area and now were back in the city, walking next to each other. "He and Kyouka just...I just wanna give them both a hug and adopt them as family."

This time, Dazai successfully managed to ruffle your hair."You are very funny, (Y/N)-chan."

"I'm not being funny! I'll actually adopt them, just you wait and see."

"As amusing as that would be, I'm gonna stop you there."

"Why?"

"Well, it's nighttime now. And we are almost near the river. The moon's pretty bright today. Which means one thing and one thing only."

"What, Dazai?"

"It's the perfect time for a double suicide!" 

Dazai suddenly grabbed you by the waist and spun you around. You felt your face grow warmer as he kept his hands on your waist, meanwhile going on about the benefits of a double suicide.

"D-dazai! Let go!" You physically tried to struggle out of his grip, knowing that your Ability was useless in this situation. "Just let go, dumbass!"

"Nope, not gonna." 

Dazai let go of your waist, but then immediately grabbed your hand. But you managed to pull it away. He stuck his tongue out at you. "You are no fun, (Y/N)-chan."

You glared at him. "How many times do I have to tell you no, you bandage squandering idiot?!"

"Ahh!! You sound so much like Kunikida-kun! Why didn't you tell me you were so great at impersonating others?"

"Huh?! What's that supposed to mean?" You went to shove his shoulder but he dodged it,  jumping aside with his annoying (endearing) laugh. You tried to hit him again, but he dodged this time too and started running.

"Oi, Dazai! Come back here, you idiot!"

You ran too, trying to catch up to him so that you could, at least, flick his forehead before slapping him. Why was he so annoying, you always wondered. 

'Isn't this why you like him?' Your heart whispered to you.

'Shut up,' You told it.

You kept on running. Even as you did, the sun had almost set, taking its red and orange hues and replacing it with the dark, navy blue of the night sky. The running brought you to the river bank, a spot where both you and Kunikida had to drag Dazai out of. For some reason, he declared this spot and drowning as his top favorite for a double suicide.

It was incredibly annoying, but at the same time, also incredibly saddening and you wished you knew more about why he was like this.

Finally, you caught up with him. 

In hindsight, you should have realised that running after Dazai was not a good decision on your part. 

Both of you stumbled down the river bank, holding onto each other because there was nothing else to grab onto. The slant river bank ended and they were on flat ground again.

But...but, both of you were in a rather compromising position. 

Usually, you were a pretty confident and self-assured person. But when it came to situations like these (or any romantic situations)…well, you were still pretty inexperienced. So inexperienced actually that you hadn't kissed anyone in a long while, almost two years to be exact. Relationships had always seemed like a waste of time to you, but being in such close proximity of the man you currently yearned for was doing wonders for your heart. (In a good way and a bad away)

Dazai's arms were on your shoulders, pinning you to the ground. He loomed over you, his brown eyes staring right into your (e/c) ones. 

You swore you could detect something there before it was hidden behind his mask again. 

No longer were you able to keep the warmth away from your face. You knew you probably resembled a tomato right now. You wanted to get out of this position quickly, but deep down, your mind and your heart both resisted. And you felt like agreeing with them this time. You wouldn't get a chance like this ever again.

So you decided to speak.

And immediately regret it.

"Your eyes are pretty," The combined forces of your heart and mind make you say something stupidly embarrassing and you immediately want to cover your face. But you can't. So you continue.

Even the darkness of night couldn't keep the redness of your cheeks hidden. 

"I mean, they're not just an ugly brown color. They have this amber-like quality to them. And everytime light hits them, they almost shine and it makes them more beautiful than I ever thought. Like seriously, you have really beautiful eyes. Personally, your eyes are your best feature and they're one of the many reasons I fell for you."

(You wanna crush your own stupid heart for that last bit.)

"Oh?" That was all Dazai said, that stupidly endearing smirk on his face. "Many reasons? What are they again?"

"Um, uh," You hesitated, turning your head to the side. This was more embarrassing than any other situation you had ever been in. There was nowhere else to go and while you could have kicked Dazai away with ease, truth be told you really didn't want to do that. How many chances like this would you ever get? "I don't even know when I started liking you. And maybe it's a stupid thing because nothing is ever going to come out of it, but yeah. I have feelings for you, Dazai Osamu. Truth be told, I can sort of understand why you ask women to commit a double suicide with you. You want someone to be by your side, right? You don't want to be lonely when you die. I guess I can understand that, though I wish I could show you the joy in living. But I don't think I'll ever be able to change your mind."

You laughed nervously, looking anywhere but at Dazai's face, where his smirk had been replaced by a more serious look. "I went on a totally different tangent there, didn't I? You can forget that last bit but to sum up everything, I have feelings for you. I don't expect you to return them anyways so...yeah."

Now, you looked at Dazai. His expression was unreadable. You couldn't understand what emotions were written on his face. You didn't even know what he would do next. Would he reciprocate your feelings? Would he reject them? What would he do? You wanted answers and you weren't getting them.

Then again, it was partly your fault also. You suddenly sprung these feelings on him. You shouldn't expect him to answer quickly. 

(Secretly, you also thought that Dazai wasn't the type of person who'd ever truly  love someone. It was just your stupid luck he was the person you fell for.)

Unexpectedly, Dazai suddenly moved off you, giving you the opportunity to finally sit up and contemplate your next moves.

'Should I just run away?' You thought, thinking about the pain of rejection. You'd deal with it. Somehow. 'It's the coward's way out. But what more can I do?'

"If you're thinking of running away, don't," Dazai suddenly said, meeting your eyes with a stare so intense that you swore he could read every single thought in your mind. 

"That was not what I was thinking," You clearly lied, crossing your arms. 

"You know, I can tell that you're lying, my Belladonna," Dazai put his hand on your cheek, his slender fingers brushing away the stray strands of hair on your face. "You are not a very good liar."

"D — wh-what?" You froze up completely. Because as much as you would like to deny, even an action like this left you wanting more. His hands were inexplicably warm and strangely soft. You couldn't even think about running away now. Dazai put his other hand behind your back, pulling you close to him. Close enough that your noses were almost touching and you could see the little flecks of amber in his pretty brown eyes. 

"D-do you also h-have feelings f-for me?"

What the hell was wrong with your voice? You wanted to ask your question again, but your words died in your throat. 

Instead, your heart chose to speak. You tilted your head slightly, barely brushing your lips against his. Even this small action sent volts of electricity coursing through your body. But then, your courage fizzled out and you tried to move back. 

Key word; tried. 

Dazai put his hand at the back of your head and pulled you closer, finally,  freaking finally, kissing you. 

You wished you could describe what you were feeling, but you really couldn't. Your mind was completely shut down and all you could really think was, that you were floating. And since it was your one of the few kisses you had in your life, you didn't know what to do. So you kept on pressing your mouth against Dazai's, trying to have more; trying to feel more of him. 

It was strange, it felt so strange. But kissing Dazai felt incredibly…amazing. Yeah, amazing. Just him and you and nothing else. You felt like you could touch the stars now and you didn't want it to end. You wanted to keep on doing this forever, or as long as both of you could. 

But then, Dazai suddenly ended the kiss, pulling back with a lazy grin.

You stared at him, breathing heavily. And then, you let your head fall onto his shoulder, grabbing onto to the front of his cream-colored trench coat. 

"Does that answer your question, (Y/N)-chan?" He asked with a sing-song voice, suddenly hugging you. 

"So you do like me?" Your voice was muffled by his coat, but you knew he heard you clearly. 

His lips were pressed onto your neck, moving with his answer. You understood it immediately. Releasing his coat from your hands, you hugged him back.  

You knew this moment wouldn't last very long, but you would revel in it for now. 

It was going to be the only thing on your mind for a very long time.

a/n: i hope this was a fun read! with this quarantine, i've been thinking of attempting to write more character x readers because they are good practice for writing a multi-chapter fic. so you might see more bsd, haikyuu and bnha content on here. I might also post about DC so let's see.

My wattpad

[arisamsara]

The change of relationship: breaking point of Yoo Jung

Cheese in the Trap Season 4, Ep. 30

WARNING: This post contains several spoilers of the story released up to this particular chapter. The selected plot points are needed for explanation of the chosen topic. If you haven't but plan to read Cheese in the Trap (much reccomended), please avoid this post or read at your own risk.

Cheese in the Trap (치즈인더트랩) is a Korean manhwa (aka comic) series created by Soonkki (story and artwork). It was published on online platform Naver Webtoon in 2010-2017. Later the story was published in print, translated into English on Webtoon app, made into a TV series and live action film. The English translation is in its last 4th season and still has around one year worth of material yet to be translated.

The story revolves around Hong Seol, a hardwoking and little overthinking 3rd year university student majoring business management who is suddenly approached by her same major sunbae, very rich, handsome and popular 4th year student Yoo Jung. It would seem Seol hit a jackpot, attracting attention of such a guy as Jung; however, there is no promise of typical romance in sight. Why?

Maybe because Seol knows that Jung is not as nice as he pretends to be in public?

Or maybe because the previous year Seol's university life was turned into hell and the main puppetmaster behind all those evil schemes seems to be... Yoo Jung?

Relationship that began shrouded in misunderstanding, antipathy and suspicion. Can it ever be turned into romance? Or is it just another Jung's masterplan to get back at Seol?

THE ANALYSIS

In this post I will:

1) do a quick recap of "Jung's attitude towards Seol" evolution (in approximate data graph form in interval -10 to 10 because they're business majors, duh);

2) explain what happened in this episode, what was mistranslated in Jung's monologue and what character details are hidden here;

3) clear the mistranslation of Jung's repeated "Seol" in this episode.

Important parts are highlighted with colour (setting/situation) or bolded (particular events). The words in "..." are actual quotations. The words in '...' are rephrased sentences. Lets begin!

[1st Part] RECAP

How Jung's attitude towards Seol changed since the beginning of previous year aka flashback year? Jung returned from military service to the 3rd year, Seol returned to the 2nd year; they first met during comeback drink party. Seol got wasted (she can't drink much), picked up thrown ciggarettes from the ground outside (for Bora) and kept side-eyeing Jung all evening (how he spilled drink on clingy girls). Jung's first impression of Seol was bad, around 0 to -1 (she's "pathetic"). Then Seol kept saying hello and smiling to him (he was sunbae and popular/respected as well) but Jung flat out ignored her (thought she's another leecher).

During Jaewoo's study group Seol was the only girl there (they thought she outsmarted other girls and came alone to be closer to Jung); Jung caught her laughing at him (he thought she was mocking him and saw through his "nice sunbae" mask; she was just laughing at her imagination of Jung as aloof prince) and his impression dropped to -5 as he really disliked her now. Seol tripped on waxed floor and Jung caught her saying "Be careful" (not about tripping but about her behaviour towards him).

Seol then badmouthed Jung in public (said he was distanced, chose with whom to mingle, acted a bit fake); he found out about it and started to hate Seol (drop to -8). Seol tripped again and dropped papers, Jung kicked them and said "You keep making mistakes. I told you to be careful" (again not about tripping but about making him seem WEIRD to others in public). So he began to act nice with Seol to make Juyeon (black-haired girl who crushed on Jung) jealous and ruin Seol's life (in study related matters)

Then Younggon badmouthed Jung during basketball game (something like 'Jung pities you clingy people', which was true). When everyone turned their backs on Younggon, who went to talk to him, comfort him with snacks? Seol. Jung saw that and likely thought 'So these Jung haters team up now, huh? They deserve each other'. Jung's hatred for Seol got even bigger (drop to -10). When Younggon came to Jung asking for forgiveness, Jung was tired of his sh*t and wanted to go home already (he sighed and ruffled his hair). Juyeon told Younggon he and Seol would be a great couple; they asked for Jung's opinion and he was like 'Yeah whatever you would look good' with a fake smile to be left alone and not involved in unnecessary rumours and drama. He also didn't stop Inha from taking his phone and writing Younggon (pretending to be Jung and advising to send Seol gifts etc.), because, well, he disliked Seol and couldn't be bothered thinking about her. However, Jung had no idea how far Younggon would go during summer break (stalking, threatening and assaulting Seol).

When Seol came straight to Jung and asked if he really told Younggon Seol liked him (and Jung found out how obsessed Younggon was) Jung was shocked and felt bad. Yes, he hated Seol but didn't wish her to be hurt/threatened. Then Juyeon sent homeless woman to the library where Seol was and Seol got cut with a glass. It was Jung (if I remember correctly) who secretly called security guard to save Seol (yet Seol thought Jung was there knowing what happened and did nothing). Jung was really mad with Juyeon for this.

More things have happened that I forgot a bit, but essentially Jung kept noticing he and Seol are somewhat similar. He overheard her phone call with her parents and learned she was also lonely and not fully appreciated by her family. They both were diligent and hardworking in studying (both often were the ones who were used in team projects and ended up doing most of the work, or even did all work alone so their grade would not be affected by other people's laziness). They disliked petty drama. And found it difficult to speak their worries to others (Seol was too self-conscious and afraid to burden her friends, Jung had no one to speak to at all). So Jung's hatred for Seol started to decrease and he occasionally found himself thinking about her and even smiling when doing that (which made him frustrated and confused).

Jung looked for opportunities to speak with Seol but she always ran away, avoided to be left with him alone. During festival Jung made her a part of his preparation group, assigned her an easy job (sort out boxes) so she wouldn't overwork herself as she usually does and so that they could have time to talk alone. Jung didn't know silverware arrived earlier than planned and those boxes were heavy instead of light (Seol thought Jung gave her that job on purpose, to get back at her and just make her more miserable). While working they kept glancing at each other (Seol saw Jung wipe his sweaty face and cough - he caught a cold and felt really sick, but kept working). As others ran home early avoiding work, finding ridiculous excuses, Jung said Seol will help him clean up, but when everyone left, he told her to go just home (no one will appreciate her sacrifice and hard work, he knew that from experience). Seol wanted to leave, but seeing how Jung was sick, she went into rain to place directions towards their bar space. As she got back to take her bag, she saw Jung cleaned the place and lied back on the sofa, mumbling with fever. She couldn't just leave him there, bought him medicine, placed a wet towel on his head and fell asleep on the other couch. Jung woke up feeling better and was surprised to see Seol who was also sick and grabbed his hand in her feverish sleep (Seol's habit). The way they both tended to each other as both were sick (such caring gesture) made them closer but still confused about each other.

Jung left umbrella to Seol (she didn't take one and got wet while placing directions outside) and next day didn't take it back immediately between lectures so they could speak in person when she returns it, but that plan failed (Seol was too sick to keep running after Jung; she didn't want to be alone with him; the students' pissed her off saying 'Poor Jung, got sick working all alone'). In episode 29 sick Seol mistook Jung as Euntaek and asked him for money (initially 10$, then changed her mind and said 2$ was enough). Jung was happy to help her (he knew Seol wasn't like other students who hanged out with Jung only because of his money; also she approached him first and he hoped now they could talk) and offered 40$ (possibly all the cash he had on him, as Jung seemed to favour his card for paying). However, Seol recognized him and ran away again thinking Jung was showing off his money and pity, humiliating her. He followed her and saw her crouched (she vomited), tried to approach her but couldn't (street between them was drawn as an abyss); during next break Jung bought a health drink for Seol but she collapsed and was carried to the infirmary.

Then this episode happened (explained in detail in 2nd part). After that, Jung found out Seol was taking a study break. He was desperate to keep her at university so he could finally get close to her (it was going to be Jung's last year, so if she took a break, they would likely never meet again). Having no other idea how to do that, Jung blackmailed Assistant Seo to make his research paper dissapear (Assistand Seo had stolen and used Jung's credit card, so Jung gave him a chance to be forgiven; once research paper was gone, Jung's grade would drop, Seol would become first in business department, get the scholarship instead of Jung and stay for another year). Then the first chapter of CITT happens when Jung approaches Seol all smiles and offers to buy her dinner (bomb food and triangle rice). So during this 'realization' period which started after Younggon's assault, Jung's like/dislike bar towards Seol jumped from -10 to a decent 8.

[2nd Part] EPISODE EXPLANATION + JUNG'S MONOLOGUE MISTRANSLATION + CHARACTER DETAILS

This whole chapter is from Jung's POV, so it's a rare opportunity not only to see him behave but also hear what he's thinking. Infirmary part is the breaking point is Seol-Jung relationship: it's Jung's last effort to stop being bothered and confused by his feelings towards Seol; and his utter defeat as his opinion of Seol changed completely. Jung was getting worried of her and her health before, but here we see the extent of it. Jung is super diligent when it comes to studying (a bit later, during their first movie date at the cinema Jung was hangover and asked Seol to wake him up if he falls asleep; but it was Jung who stayed up watching boring historical film without breaking attention because it was homework; while Seol quickly fell asleep). It is absolutely outrageous to see Jung deliberately skip important lecture (which has attendance marks) in the middle of it just to go and see Seol. It shows how much he worried about her without even realizing.

Then Jung quietly stared at Seol for a long time with a serious, cynical face as if criticizing, evaluating. Although Jung has dated many girls before (they asked him out and he said ok), he has never had any romantic feelings for them and had no experience with love. So here Jung tried to rationalize whatever newly experienced softness he was feeling towards Seol, remembering past incidents (how she fell several times and got her hand cut). But his concentration broke as soon as Seol moved and Jung was controlled by the unconscious desire to touch her HAND. Seol woke up (delirious) so Jung put his HAND over her eyes to make her sleep (it mirrors how Seol put her HAND over Jung's eyes to calm his rage after Sangcheol pushed them and Jung hurt his HAND). Seol grabbed Jung's HAND half asleep, thanked he was still there and told him to go already. Since she spoke in banmal (informal language), she must have mistaken Jung for Euntaek again, as she never spoke informally with Jung before. Obviously a HAND motif is extremely important in the story. Seol keeps grabbing people's hands (usually Jung's after they became close, ex. when he asked her to become his girlfriend, during volunteering etc.) because she pushed away grandmother's hand; Seol had her hand cut by homeless woman; Inho got his hand hurt during assault; Jung's habit to tap his fingers when he's thinking. I can say this hand grabbing was one of the deciding elements that defeated Jung and last effort of resistance, but why exactly this gesture has such an impact on him is revealed only at the end of the story.

The part time job paper he found in her pocket softened him more. Jung's monologue is MISTRANSLATED in English version on Webtoon app; in essence Jung said he was frustrated about his feelings towards Seol but now feels better (weird), it means he changed (that's weirder). Seol caused a chaos of emotions inside him and she was the only one who could contain that chaos and bring back peace to his heart. He had no proof they could get along as their relationship was dissapointing so far but he wanted to try once more and make sure of it. He admitted he had never regretted his actions so much as he did now (things he did to Seol). Jung realized he couldn't run away from Seol, was fascinated by her, worried (her call with parents), touched by her kindness (she cared for him at festival), apologetic (she crouched after asking for 2$). Suddenly realization hit Jung like a lightning -  he lost the battle and got taken over by affection and crush towards Seol. Jung fell in love for the first time. And here started his obsession with food and having dinner with Seol.

[3rd Part] MISTRANSLATION OF "SEOL"

Why Jung kept repeating "Seol" like crazy? The way it's translated in English on Webtoon app, there is no difference between Jung addressing Seol as he first got into the infirmary and at the end of the chapter. In original Korean version there is a huge difference. For ex. Seol never adressed Jung as Jung; he was Yoo Jung or Sunbae (the latter even after they started dating). Titles of hierarchy or full names are used between people who are not very close and are in official respectful relationship, mostly professional. Family members, close friends and lovers use banmal (informal speech) and address each other using each other's name (there are exceptions; also Bora and Euntaek also often called Seol as Hong/Hong Seol but it may have been a tease). So people who are very close would usually add ending -ah to other person's name as a form of endearment.

When Jung first entered the infirmary, he adressed Seol formally as "Hong Seol" (a fellow student and hoohae of the same major). But after Jung realized he fell in love with Seol, he smiled and called her name softly as "Seol-ah", suggesting she became a close person to him, a dear friend and a possible future lover. Being first time in love, Jung was fascinated by how lovely it sounds and kept happily repeating it.

AFTERTHOUGHTS

CITT emphasizes the importance of subjectivity of one's point of view. This post was written explaining Jung's point of view, how he saw Seol and judged her behaviour. However the story is written mainly from Seol's point of view, so the reader identifies with her and can clearly understand only her actions and thoughts. Most of the time Jung looks weird, unreadable and suspicious to the reader because Seol sees him like that, affected by her past experiences which were caused by misunderstanding between them (and also because Jung is a complex person in general who on top of that is inexperienced in expressing himself clearly).

Nothing like that would have happened if Jung and Seol had sat down and talked everything out in the beginning. But these two do not openly speak about things. Instead they observe, overthink and internalize, judging people by subjective patterns of their own experience. Seol and Jung are similar in this appproach, only their patterns differ.

Seol grew up nice, diligent, disliked troubles and drama, smiled at sunbaes and was often underappreciated. And Jung was always at the center of attention. Seol thoght it was unfair, but she didn't know that people hanged out with Jung only for his status, money and connections, looking for personal gain. When Seol tried to be nice to Jung because she was just raised like that, Jung thought she was another leecher as he only knew such people.

Money was a touchy issue in Seol's family and she had to work several part time jobs to earn for tuition. Jung never thought about money at all or give it much importance. He was collecting expensive watches because he hd nothing better to do (habit came from the childhood as he was lonely and wanted to have a hobby). His issue was not using money for other people (paying for team dinners; Jung is generous) but for people using him only for money. So when Seol paid for her dinner (like she was raised to do) she thought Jung considered her a fool. Actually, he was impressed and surprised (sge's a first who did that) and even felt a little mocked. So he had no issue to give her more cash than she asked - 'I have money, you need it as you're sick, take it all'. She felt humiliated as if Jung was showing off.

Jung made her part of his festival preparation group only to have a chance to speak with her. She thought he did it to make her life hard. Whatever nice Jung did later, he was misunderstood by Seol as having evil intentions. Even when he "lost his paper" and gave up his scholarship so that she would stay at University, he avoided telling her the truth as Seol could (and eventually did) misunderstand and judge him resorting to blackmail (Seol is very righteous). But she would not open to him or ask him for help otherwise, so Jung had to repeatedly help her from behind the scenes and later get scolded.

Also, I wanted to clarify Jung's line "I'm all you got" from episode 27 that generated a lot of discussions about his 'inappropriate, sketchy and manipulative' behaviour. The sentence does sound creepy, but it was partly the fault of translation. Actually this sentence does not mean Seol has no family or friends and has to rely solely on Jung. It is a mistake to take this one sentence out of context, as the sentence was a continuation of Jung's train of thought about unconditional love and trust; about putting someone always first.

Read the colour coded dialogue below:

Jung Seol

"Next time tell me anything. Even if it's just a suspicion. Didn't we agree to share everything? That night, at my house... We talked about it."

"Yes we did, that conversation. Well, I was suspicious of him (Sangcheol) for being a thief so I had to be cautious."

"Seol, when you get suspicious, you had a good reason to be. You can tell me."

"What? How can you be so sure? Aren't you trusting me a little too much?"

"Of course. Who else would believe you and take your side if not me? See? I'm all you got."

Jung never experienced unconditional love and trust; his father never put Jung, his son, first above everything else. Jung was told to give beloved picture frame (mom's treasure) to a boy who simply liked it. Father told Jung to stop whining and be nice - apparently how other people saw Jung was more important than what Jung wanted. Jung's father considered him weird and the lack of trust was expressed by making Baek twins spy on Jung and report back (twins were manipulated too). Father even seemed to like twins' company better than Jung's as father was always smiling and laughing around them, but giving Jung a cold shoulder and scorned face. In Jung's mind, he was never first to Inho too although they were best friends. Jung went to see Inho's favourite musician and get autograph in Inho's name. And Inho kept reporting to Jung's father about Jung, laughed about father liking him more than Jung and caused a scandal about being a second son in the family. People at work and University also don't care about Jung as a person, only about his status in society.

Seol's life is different, she has family and friends yet she can relate to Jung a lot too. In episode 29 Seol said: "No matter how hard I try, there is someone else who's on a whole different level from the beginning. Do I really need to feel this way even at school?" and a picture of Seol's brother Joon appeared. Seol was never put first too - her brother as the only son in the family was the most important. Grandma used to favour Joon and bring him more snacks. Parents sent him to USA to study (Seol also wanted that) and sent him money frequently but Joon stopped his studies and went home. Meanwhile, Seol took a break and had several jobs to earn money for her tuition. No one at home asked how she felt, what she wanted; no one noticed how sick she was (father said no one around the house was useful). Seol had Bora and Euntaek but they had their own problems at home and Seol couldn't find strength to tell them everything thst bothered her. This lead Seol to keep stuff to herself and just brace through it alone.

For Jung, Seol is his girlfriend, the girl he loves and by far the closest person he has. Despite rocky start she eventually tried to know him behind the façade. She bought him a watch (he collects them) with her scarce savings when her time, interest and honesty were more than enough for him. After arguing she would still come and try to work it out and understand him (the night they talked at Jung's house). She often worried about him to the point where she thought she would trouble him with her "small" problems. So that's what Jung talked about - he wanted Seol to share even the smallest worries with him, not bottle everything inside. When friends can be very close, they both are a couple. For Jung couple means people who are ultimate, the most important for each other. "I'm all you got" means "the ultimate/the last one/ the only one to remain with you when everyone turns their backs on you and leaves". It means that as her boyfriend, Jung is the only one who ALWAYS puts Seol first above others, supports her and is on her side no matter what, even if she is wrong or mistaken. That is unconditional love and trust they haven't experienced from their family and friends, so have to give to each other instead.

END

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

[therunawaystudent]

You Can Come Home Again

He doesn't even get a chance to compose himself outside. She's opening the door before he even reaches for the knob.

“Come inside Miguel.”

She closes the front door with a little more force than necessary. She's even angrier than the wedding night fiasco. He stands, awkwardly in the entrance.

“I'm sorry…”

“How'd you break your nose?” She's calm. Too calm. Early calm and deadpan in her voice.

His eyes go to the floor. “I tripped.”

She looks at his mouth. “Smile.”

“Mom–”

“Show me your teeth! I want to see what you've done.”

Sighing, he reluctantly bears his teeth, smiling without joy and internally cringing at the expression on her face.

“Four thousand for goddamn braces and you nearly knock your tooth out! This is going to cost more money that we don't have right now.”

“I didn't mean to! I'm sorry, okay?” He didn't mean to fuck up his face. He didn't mean for anything else to happen other than to light off a stupid firework.  

“I cannot believe you!”  

“I'm sorry.”  

“Did you not think I would worry when you didn't come home yesterday? You're lucky Johnny let me know where you were! Did you not think I'd be worried sick over the fact that you hadn't come home all night!”

“I didn't… I wasn't thinking.”

“Well no kidding!”

He practically walked into that one.

“I'm sorry, really!”

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry…” She's not having it. “You know after a while ‘I'm sorry’ stops meaning anything."

“I know.”

“Do you?”

He sighs.

“You can't just run away like this! You're lucky nobody got hurt, but you can't just do these things! You can't!”

“I didn't mean to blow up anything important, it was an accident.”

“Anything important... " That may have been the wrong thing to say to her. "Where did you even get explosives, hmm?”

Miguel tugs at his hair. “I bought them when we were in Arizona…”

“Who the hell sells those to teenagers! Putos imbéciles… increíble…”

She's just swearing at everything now.  

“Mom please... por favor, si sólo pudiera calmarse."

“Dios mío Miguel! ¿Quieres que me quede tranquilo? Yo realmente, no puedo mirarte…”

He walks to the living room, right past her, sitting on the couch.

“What do you want me to say?” He's frustrated, prepared for yelling of course, but he could never quite get used to talking in circles.

“Why didn't you just come home?”

He gestures grandly to the room, to her. “This! I was worried about this!”

“Worried about me yelling at you?”

“Yes!”

“Of course I'm gonna yell at you, what the hell did you think was going to happen? You know what those things do, right? What if you had hurt yourselves? Would you have thrown it with people around?”

“Of course not! I'm not an idiot.”

She puts a hand up, the irony clearly lost on him. “You blew up a mailbox. I think it's a little late for that."

She walks into the kitchen, rummaging in the freezer until she pulls out an ice pack. She stands at the side of the room, and he keeps trying to explain himself.

“I just didn't want anything catching on fire… I didn't mean for any of it to happen, it just got way out of hand.”

“Here,” She hands it to him. “What you did was stupid. I don't know why you did it but you did it, and you should've just came home.”

“I was worried.”

To her, the statement is ridiculous. “When you do stupid things like that, you can't be afraid of the consequences, you understand?”

“Yes.” Gingerly, he presses the coldpack to his face, wincing a little.

“You shouldn't be worried about coming home to me. Home should be where you run to when you get in trouble… not a friend's house or the dojo or anywhere else, just home, you should always come home.”

“I wasn’t expecting anything to happen. It was just meant to be a stupid joke but then everything got way out of control.”

She’s pacing the living room now. "Miguel, look at you! Your nose is broken! Your beautiful smile–"

He cuts her off. "Ruined, I know." More things for people to make fun.

"You've been coming home beat up, drunk, getting into serious trouble for months now! I just…  what’s wrong? Am I not doing enough for you? What is it?”

“No, no it's not that!”

“What is it? Tell me please, I can't make it better unless you let me know what's going on.”

I just… I….” He can't make the words come out. He tries to talk without choking up. He’s cried too much today.

She huffs, tired with his excuses, tired of dealing with his not-talking and his avoidance. “I’m not dealing with this anymore, Miguel. You've been all over the place lately, I don't know what's gotten into you!”

Her words get under his skin, another straw in a pile that had been growing for months.

“Then don't deal with it...” He's yelling now. “Just let me handle things then! I don't need you to worry about me all the time! I can handle myself okay?”

His brain is screaming at him too now, chastising him for letting go.

Jesus Christ, aren't you cried out yet! Stop fucking crying!

It's no use though, the proverbial dam broke a long time ago and he can’t for the life of him pick the pieces back up again.

He continues, voice a tad nasally and much too thick for his liking. “I'm sorry I'm screwing things up, I'm sorry I get beat up at school, I'm sorry I broke my teeth and I'm sorry you’ve had to throw away your whole life for me!”

She’s confused now. “What are you talking about?”

“You work and you take care of me, that's it. I mean, don't you miss spending time with your friends? Going out on dates or outing or something? I don't wanna be a burden, and I'm sorry I keep doing this and...”

He goes to wipe his nose, so used to it running but remembers the packing.

“I'm sorry you have to raise a kid you didn't even want!”

“Miguel!” She can't believe her ears. Why, why would he even–

“It’s true!”

“Why are you saying this!”

He frowns, as if all this is obvious and he shouldn't even have to explain it to her. “You're still young... you're not even 40 yet and you're working all the time, you don't go out or have fun. You're always at home or at work. You don't even have…” He doesn’t wanna say it.

“A what? A husband?”

He shrugs. “Yes… I mean, aren't you lonely? I can't imagine anyone being happy with this.”

She looks at him, at his bruised face, his wet and flushed cheeks, his bloodshot, guilty eyes.

“I'm so sorry…” He hangs his head, and she suddenly feels stupid for not realizing it sooner.

She wonders; had she complained to him one day, making it seem like that's how she felt all the time? Had he heard her talk to her own mother about the state of things and think that she secretly hated him because of it? Sitting beside him, she puts her hands on his face as gently as she can, turning his gaze from the ground to look at her.

“Miguel, listen to me...”

Breathing through his mouth, he hiccups.

“I love you, nothing in my life is more important than what's in this house, understand that? I don't care about getting out. I'll date when I'm ready. I'm working, I have you two to keep me happy…” With one hand, very gently, she dabs away his tears with her sleeve.

She wants to hug him, just cuddle the hurt away and make sure he never has the same look on his face again. She wanted to make sure he knew he could always still come to her. She didn't know when he stopped coming to her when he was in trouble anymore, or what made him think that being home was something to avoid. She never wanted him to feel like that again.

“You are what keeps me happy, not what keeps me from being happy.”

He nods, as much as he can while she's still holding his face in her hands. She remembers a little joke that always used to make him smile.

He was talking about superheros. Their strength, their agility, their speed. The superpowers he always envied.

"Superman can move entire planets!"

“Oh yeah? Well... " She thought a moment. "I can hold the entire world in both my hands.” She asserted, watching as his 7-year old brain tried to comprehend it.

He'd scrunch his face up in derision. “That's impossible...”

“You want to see how I do it?”

He nods of course, intent on proving her wrong. What a ridiculous assertion. The world was much too big!

She put both hand on either side of his face, watching him smile with slow realization.

“See, the whole world, right here.”

...

She wants to see that smile again.

“My whole world is still right here,” Her fingers wipe at his darkened eyes, a smidgen of sadness in the corners. “See. I can still do it.”

He looks a little lost, until he remembers it too.

His smile is less goofy, more grown up and a little sadder-looking when he's in this state, but it's there. “You have nothing to be sorry for. There has not been one single day where I have regretted having you in my life.”

He hugs her like he's holding on for dear life, and by the time he's stopped crying again, he's practically falling asleep on the couch.

She can't recall when she stopped tucking him in or hugging him goodnight. Maybe it was when she started working nights, coming home when he'd be waking up, or maybe it was around the same time that picking him up at school became embarrassing for him.

For her though, she could find no real reason not to do it.

She lays him on the couch, head propped up by pillows and a blanket draped over him. She wants to carry him to his bed, but ever since he reached 14 he'd become too tall for her to carry like that.

He's getting bigger. Getting older before her very eyes.

She doesn't want to leave him and he doesn't object when she tucks herself into the same spot on the couch, his head under her chin like her used to before it became something too childish.

They're both exhausted, asleep within minutes.