#(but no follow James they’re amazing oh I’m telling you this as it’s the truth)

[sightburdened]

@il-mostrc blessing my ask and making me laugh? One million dollars. The wonderful way he describes Hannibal’s ties? More money than that. For all else, there’s MasterCard.

[idy-ll-ique]

Sweet Little Love.

Pairing: Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Lil Angst

Warnings: brief mention of violence

Requested: nope

Summary: The Y/L/Ns are a well-off family in New York, and are good friends with Sam Wilson. One day Y/N is threatened by a stalker and needs a bodyguard, so Sam suggests Bucky. Bucky doesn't want to do it; the last thing he wants is to deal with a spoiled, bratty rich girl for a whole month. The only thing is, Bucky has terribly misjudged her and now he can't help falling in love with her.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! the last scene is just a small bonus crack!scene sjsjsjs lmao, enjoy!

---

If there was one type of person Bucky liked, it was someone who was kind, polite, helpful and caring… and Bucky knew the person he was going to work for was going to be none of those things. "Sam, come on, man, I don't want to do this," Bucky groaned as he followed his best friend down the street. "I already promised, Bucky."

"Why did you?! I don't want to spend my whole day around spoiled little brats, they're the worst!" Bucky threw his hands up in surrender. "Okay, number one: You have to look after only one person and number two: Why don't you just meet her once? Then you can decide for yourself, how about that?"

Bucky had been hired by one of Sam's friends, Mr Y/L/N, as a bodyguard for his daughter. He didn't know the daughter at all; but the one thing he was sure about was that she was going to be a pain in the ass for him, like in every single movie about rich girls and bodyguards. Mouthy, petty, sassy, rude…

He was in no mood to deal with someone like that.

Ms Y/L/N, he assumed, had been sent some threats over a week ago by a stalker and so the poor father was worried sick as he frantically searched for bodyguards. Sam was also informed and before he knew it, James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes was hired. To be honest, the Y/L/Ns were paying a lot so… since he had given up Avenging, the income would be great.

Plus, she only needed protection for around a month or so. Speaking of the daughter, how old was she even going to be? Maybe a child below 10? A rebellious teenager? Who knows? "Alright, stop here. She's supposed to be here somewhere, let me call Y/L/N." Bucky huffed and looked around the crowded streets as Sam contacted the father.

That's when his eyes landed on a lady. She was beautiful; wearing what looked like a tennis skirt and a university hoodie, along with sneakers. Her hair was pulled into a braid and she had a bright smile on her face. Bucky blinked twice and watched. Her body or clothes didn't catch his attention, but her actions sure did.

She was chatting with another, older woman who had coffee spilled all over her white tee. The young lady was holding a baby in her arms, bouncing the sweet child as the older woman hurriedly tried to clean her clothes. Through his super-soldier hearing, he caught their conversation. "I'm so sorry to bother you like this," the woman sighed.

"It's okay, ma'am, you are not a bother. You were clearly in need of help and you know how New York is…" Both women giggled. The older woman soon left with her child but the young lady continued standing there, looking around, as if waiting for someone. Probably a boyfriend, Bucky thought.

"Why is he not picking up?!"

Bucky rolled his eyes at Sam before looking over at the pretty lady again, who had started bouncing back and forth on her heels, glancing everywhere. That's when a loud wail echoed above the already busy street. The lady's eyes snapped towards the voice before she took off running towards a little boy who had tripped over.

The little kid was blond and scrawny, reminding Bucky of a little Steve. He smiled fondly at the memory. "Are you hurt, bubba?" Y/N asked the kid adoringly as she helped him stand. The boy's lower lip wobbled as he tried to hold his tears in but was unsuccessful. "Aw, come here…" Bucky gulped when the lady got on her knees and hugged the child.

She's so kind.

The kid hugged back just as eagerly, sobbing into her shoulder. Soon, two adults approached her; a gay couple, the parents of the kid. They, too, watched with appreciation as the lady easily calmed the kid down with her soothing presence. An involuntary smile bloomed on Bucky's face; if he was in that kid's position, he'd have stopped crying too. The lady was wonderful.

"Thank you so much, honey," one of the men grinned when the lady stood up, dusting her knees and giving the kid a smile. "Oh, it's not a problem! You know what?" She dug around in her purse and pulled out a lollipop. "I always have some on me. I'm a big fan. You?" The boy giggled and eagerly accepted the candy.

"Steve, what do you say?"

Bucky almost laughed. The kid's name was also Steve? Amazing! "Thank you!" Steve exclaimed with a bright smile, making the lady laugh. "No problem! Have a good day!" She waved at the family of three before returning to her original place, standing outside a café. Bucky was enamored at this point.

"Any luck?" he drawled, glancing at Sam who shook his head. "That dick," he grumbled under his breath and Bucky grinned, getting back to watching the pretty lady but she was nowhere to be found. He looked around until he saw her crossing the road, an old man holding her arm with one hand as the other held his walking cane.

She was on his side of the street now, just a few feet away from him. "You are an angel, darling," the old man crooned as he patted her cheek, letting go of her arm once he was safely on the other side. An angel indeed, Bucky smiled to himself. "Oh, sir, I try…" she spoke bashfully, turning in his direction as the man left.

Bucky quickly averted his gaze, he didn't want to look like a creep. "Sam? Sam, is that you? Wilson!" Bucky froze at the lady's voice, her footsteps nearing the place where he and Sam were standing. Wait, is that...? Sam looked away from his phone, eyes lighting up as they landed on the lady. "Y/N? When did you arrive?" Bucky watched as they hugged.

"Been here for a long time, dad said you were going to introduce me to my bodyguard today. He's a good friend of yours, right?" Sam turned and motioned towards Bucky. He stepped forward. "Hi, I'm James Barnes," he introduced himself, holding his hand out. He couldn't believe he had called this angel a spoiled, rich brat.

I'm never gonna forgive myself.

"James, nice to meet you! I'm Y/N Y/L/N. Thanks for doing this, I'm probably going to be a burden—" He immediately shook his head. "Oh, no no no, don't say that! I can tell we're going to be good friends." He winked and she couldn't help but giggle. Bucky didn't even correct her on the name, something about the way she said it made a shiver run down his spine.

"Well, um, do we start now, or…?"

"Your choice," he interrupted, hands shoved in the pockets of his coat as he stared at her, heart swelling with affection. "I already feel safe," she half-joked, "Start now. I have a few places to go to…" He was ready to follow her to Hell and back. "Of course." Both of them turned to Sam, who had a knowing smirk on his face.

If it were anyone else Bucky would've given him his infamous glare but Y/N? He was hoping for a connection. "You two enjoy your date— I mean, day. Anyway, what's up with your dad, girl, he's not picking up my calls." Bucky rolled his eyes at the slip up. "He's not? Maybe he's in a meeting. If you want you can go visit."

"Gonna do just that, tell him that his precious little daughter is in safe hands." Y/N looked at Bucky with a huge smile. "No doubt about that! It's getting late, I'll see you later!" Y/N started walking away and Bucky immediately followed with a nod towards Sam. "Hey, um, I saw you, you know?" he blurted out.

"Saw me? Doing what?" Y/N blinked. "You helping the lady with the child, the kid who tripped over— Steve, his name was? And the old man you helped cross the street. I just wanna say that was amazing. You're a great person, Y/N, I'm honored to be your bodyguard." She gasped softly and looked away, chewing her bottom lip as she grinned, cheeks heating up.

"Oh, um, it's just— I like to help people. It's how my parents raised me. Yeah, we might be rich but I'm not spoiled. Lots of people think that when I tell them I'm Mr Y/L/N's daughter. It hurts sometimes, you know? People just assume anything about you without even knowing you. That's why I try to be good. I don't want to be a bad person," she rushed out, unconsciously voicing all her insecurities.

Bucky's heart sank in his chest as he let out a dry chuckle. "Ugh, just saying this is gonna make me throw up but I assumed that too. I thought I was gonna work with a spoiled, rich brat. I was horribly, horribly wrong, I hope you can forgive me, doll." She turned to him, but she wasn't mad in the slightest. She even started getting a tiny crush on him, I mean, hey, the man is eye-candy. "It's fine! I forgive you, you didn't know."

"No, it's not fine. I shouldn't have made assumptions, I feel like the biggest ass in the world," he scoffed, looking away from her. "James, please, it's okay. You know now, right? Don't feel bad! Why don't we stop for a coffee on the way?" How could he say no to that?

---

2 weeks passed. Y/N and Bucky became incredibly close friends; Bucky went as far as revealing the truth about himself, how he used to be an Avenger, how he lost his arm, everything. What he didn't expect was her to cry at his story. "You did not deserve to go through that, they did you so dirty…" she sniffled and he hugged her like his life depended on it. It kinda did.

God, if he didn't fall in love the first time they met, he was definitely in love now. "Doll, I'm here now, aren't I? All good— well, maybe not all good." And his face broke into the biggest grin ever when he heard a chuckle from her. "I'm glad you're here." Just those 4 words and Bucky vowed that he was never gonna let her go.

"I'm getting coffee, you wait here. Don't go anywhere else."

"Aye aye, Captain!" Y/N laughed and he smiled back as he entered the café. Y/N stood outside, typing away on her phone when someone suddenly grabbed her by the back of her neck, pulling her into the alley next to the café. She couldn't even scream, breathing was difficult with his hand around her neck.

"We finally meet, sweetheart." Oh, God, it was him. The stalker. Y/N whimpered, struggling to get out of his arms but he only tightened his hold on her. Bucky, Bucky please— Over time, Y/N had grown fond of Bucky. He still asked her to call him James, he said it felt good when she called him that. So she did.

He was so protective of her, almost like she was his girlfriend. He was also handsome; incredibly so, with his stormy blue eyes, his tall and broad figure and razor sharp jaw. His first priority was always her and it made her warm inside. She'd decided to ask him out at the end of the month, but it was looking a bit difficult now.

"Your bodyguard not with you today? What happened, lover's quarrel?" the man smirked tauntingly as Y/N's vision blurred due to lack of oxygen. She blinked back tears, crying again when he tightened his hold on her neck. "Scream all you want, sweetheart, no one's gonna hear it," he laughed.

"Try me."

The man's head whipped to the side only for Bucky's metal fist to connect with his jaw. He fell to the ground with a thud, unconscious at the first punch. Y/N slid down to her knees. Her hands went to her neck, coughing and dry heaving. "Doll? Doll, come here." Bucky felt immense guilt as he gathered her in his arms, carrying her bridal style towards his car.

He left her alone. That was the one thing he wasn't supposed to do. "James…" Y/N wheezed, curling closer to him when he tried to put her in the backseat. "Doll, you have to get in," he insisted but she shook her head. "Not without you. Please." Bucky sighed and got into the backseat, holding Y/N against his chest.

She was pretty shaken up. "I'm so sorry, Y/N." He felt himself tearing up. "No… not your fault… you… coffee… I wasn't… phone…" Bucky handed her a bottle of water when she wheezed again. "Drink up, baby," he whispered as he held the bottle to her lips because she refused to let go of his sweater. After drinking some water her throat felt better.

"Don't go, please, I need you," she sobbed as she completely curled against him, wetting his sweater as she cried in his arms. "You will always have me, doll. I'm not going anywhere. Not again," he assured her as he rubbed her back, wiping his own tears away. All of a sudden, she pulled away and pressed her lips to his. "I love you."

He pulled her in for another kiss, fireworks exploding in his head at the confession. Only two weeks had passed but they were both sure about their feelings. "I love you too, doll. You're mine now, only mine," he groaned against her lips. "Only yours," she agreed, burying her face back in his shoulder as he pulled her impossibly close.

"You're not getting out of my sight ever again."

And he kept his promise.

---

"And then I— where do you think you're going?" Sam blinked as Bucky abruptly stood up, eyes trained on his wife. She gave him a smile and walked out of the room, Bucky following her out like a puppy. "To the bathroom, Sam!" Y/N called out behind her and Sam turned to the parents, blinking in confusion as they roared with laughter.

"Why does she need him there?" Sam asked "Oh, haven't you heard? Bucky hasn't broken the promise he gave Y/N 6 years ago," Mrs Y/L/N explained vaguely. "What promise?" Mr Y/L/N laughed once more. "He told her she was never getting out of sight after the incident. And well…" Y/N and Bucky returned at the exact time as Sam made a face.

"Don't you get tired of him?" Sam groaned as Bucky sat down, pulling his wife on his lap. "Oh no no, it helps that she's as much in love with him as he is with her. They do not get tired of each other," Mrs Y/L/N shook her head with a fond smile. "It helps that he's handsome and aesthetically pleasing to look at," Y/N crooned, squishing her husband's cheeks as he laughed and swatted her hands away.

"Even in the bathroom?!"

"He stands outside as a guard," she shrugged. "Damn. Y'all are weird," Sam muttered, barely catching the book Bucky threw towards him. "Not weird. Just looking out for her, like I promised," he muttered, cheeks flushing. "You do know that the threat was 6 years ago, right? Six!" Sam threw his hands up.

"What if there's a new one?" Bucky countered exasperatedly. Sam only shook his head at the couple before a smile broke out on his face. "I've never seen a couple so in love. You two are cute," he commented as laughter filled the room. No more threats, no more danger.

Just a sweet little family and their sweet little love.

---

A/N: Leave a like if you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!

[kohanayaki]

.:Time and Time Again:. (Marauders Era x Reader) Ch 6

You continue the tale of how you, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter became known as The Marauders.

LINKS:   CH 1   CH 2    CH 3   CH 4   CH 5   CH 6   CH 7   CH 8

___________________________________________________________

Ch 6 .:The Making of the Marauders:.

~Previously~

“That was when they were first starting to put the map together,” you continued, “but that wasn't even the biggest secret they had. Of course, I wouldn't find out about that for another year. . .”

“So at this point I knew that they were hiding something else, but not what it was,” you told Harry, continuing on with your story, “But one night we had planned to meet up and use the invisibility cloak to map out the underground tunnels that ran through the storage cellars, and they never showed up. So I snuck into the Gryffindor common room through the secret passage and found their dorm completely empty. But what was there was our work in progress map. . .”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   1975  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This isn't going to work,” Peter said flatly, watching James and Sirius draw a large circle in chalk on the floor of the Shrieking Shack.

“Not with that attitude it's not,” James said, “if there's a way we can speed up this process I'm willing to give it a go. I don't know how long I can go on with this bloody leaf in my mouth.”

“Is this even real?” Peter sighed, “it looks like what muggles think magic is.”

“It's real all right,” Sirius said, “old, but real. I mean, Transfiguration was founded on the principles of magic circles! I'm not really sure what these runes on the side mean, but it's probably not important.”

“I seriously doubt that,” Peter retorted, “Remus, back me up here.”

He turned towards Lupin, but he had long since dozed off, arms crossed as he leaned against one of the nearly decaying walls in the corner. Peter sighed, taking a piece of paper from the ground and crumpling it into a ball before promptly throwing it in the sleeping boy's face. Lupin jolted awake, realizing what had happened and chucking the paper back at Peter in annoyance.

“Not a moment of peace,” he huffed under his breath.

“Sounds awfully boring,” James said over his shoulder.

“Blimey, what time is it?” Remus said, panicked as he noticed the light had completely gone from the sky, “It's long past sundown.”

“So?” Sirius shrugged.

“So, we told (Y/n) we'd meet them to work on the map at dusk,” Remus said, “They're probably looking for us right now!”

“Oh, they are,” you announced your presence, an unimpressed look on your face as they jumped, whipping around to look at you.

“(Y-Y/n)!” Sirius stuttered, “how did you—”

You held up the map, raising a brow at the four guilty looking boys.

“Right. . .”

“You snuck into our rooms?!” James said incredulously as he saw the map, which he was sure he had left on his bedside table, in your hands.

“You've snuck into my shower before, Potter,” you glared lightly at him.

“Point taken.”

“Okay, look, I'm sorry we didn't show tonight, and I know we've been acting weird,” Sirius sighed, “the truth is—”

“Lupin's a werewolf.” 

The color drained from Remus' face, slightly mortified that you already knew.

“Come on, guys,” you said, “the claw marks and you lot disappearing whenever there's a full moon kind of gave it away. You aren't exactly subtle about it.”

You could sense the intense nervousness in the room, especially from Remus. Ok, so maybe coming right out with it wasn't the best course of action.

“Look,” you said, “if you're worried about anyone else finding out, they won't. I mean, the only reason I even knew you were here is because I'm literally helping you make a magical map that details all the secret passages and shows where everyone is. I won't tell anyone, I swear.”

They still seemed a little unsure, and you bit the inside of your lip slightly.

“If it'll make us even, I'll let you know a secret of my own,” you said, “it can even be future blackmail me if you really don't trust me.”

“No, it's not that, (Y/n),” Remus said as he stepped forward, his throat feeling dry, “it's just, well, I've never really told anyone except the people in this room. Having someone else know. . . it's just a lot to process, but if had to be anyone I'm glad it's you.” He paused for a moment, feeling oddly self-conscious as he regarded you. “When I turn into a werewolf I can't recognize any human as someone I know. I have no control over myself in that state. In the worst case scenario, I could injure or even kill someone I didn't mean to. We originally started taking note of the secret passages and rooms to find a place where I could turn safely and not hurt anyone, and we settled on here. I don't remember much when I come out of it, but. . . I do feel this painful sense of separation each time. Werewolves are pack creatures by nature, so being isolated in that state is. . . agony, if I must be honest. They all figured, I can't recognize humans, but perhaps I could recognize other animals, so. . .”

“They're trying to become animagi,” you finished, “so you won't have to be alone. That's. . . that's actually really sweet,” you said, a breathy laugh escaping you.

Remus thanked Merlin the Shrieking Shack was as dimly lit as it was so his beet red face was at least somewhat less noticeable.

“I agree,” Remus said, turning to his friends and sharing a rare, genuine moment with them. “And, you don't have to tell us your secret,” he said, turning back to you, “it's okay.”

“Hey, I wanted to know,” Sirius said, Peter swiftly elbowing him in the ribs.

“I was actually planning on telling you anyways,” you said, “If you guys are trying to become animagi, I can help you.”

You took a few steps back, bracing yourself against the wall.

“Promise me you won't freak out.”

After receiving a few quick nods, you kicked off the wall. Your body seemed to morph in mid-air, shrinking and re-configuring so fast that by the time you landed on the floor you had been entirely replaced by a large, (e/c)-eyed wolf with fur reminiscent of your hair.

Peter yelped, instinctively putting Sirius in front of him who was gawking at the sight. Remus was in complete shock and you could have sworn you saw James' glasses slip down his face.

In your animal form your heightened senses could sense their fear, and you tried your best to assuage it. You padded around in a circle, sitting down and blinking up at them to try and show them you were in control of your actions. After you figured they'd seen enough, you crawled back into your robes, which had pooled on the floor when you'd transfigured, and willed your body to turn back.

James, Sirius, and Peter looked somewhere in the intersection of shocked and terrified, but Remus looked nothing less than impressed.

“That's amazing, (Y/n),” he said breathlessly, “your transformation was seamless, how long have you had this ability?”

“My aunt had me go through the process when I was nine,” you said, a bitter edge to your voice as you fastened your clothes back around you, “it's not fun, but obviously useful. And thank you, but trust me, it didn't come at all naturally to me. I spent a good part of my winter break stuck with a wolf's hind legs, which is just as inconvenient as it sounds.”

“But this proves that it's possible!” James said, a new rush of energy invigorating him, “we can actually pull this off.”

“If I can manage to keep this sodding leaf from choking me every ten minutes,” Peter grumbled.

“Here, this should help with that,” you said, drawing your wand and pointing it at Peter's mouth. With a simple sticking charm, he suddenly felt the odd sensation of the leaf in his mouth disappearing, only to find it had melded with the flesh on the underside of his tongue.

“It's a long process, but yes, it's possible,” you said to James. Your eyes drifted to the floor where the magic circle and pages of runes were still scattered about, “if you were thinking of taking shortcuts, you might have wanted to read the warning about this spell requiring a blood sacrifice.”

The quartet paled and you laughed at their dumbstruck expressions.

“Kidding,” you grinned, “but seriously, there's no shortcuts. Now look alive, boys. We have a lot of work to do.”

_________________________________________________________

From then on, you helped the four wizards along on their quest to become fully fledged shifters.

“In order to become an animagus, a wizard must keep a Mandrake leaf in their mouth for an entire month, even when eating and sleeping,” Peter read aloud from the book they'd snatched from the restricted section, “Next, under a full moon, the wizard must place the leaf in a vial full of dew that has neither been stepped on nor exposed to the sun. The resulting potion must be stored in a dark place, and the following incantation: Amato Animo Animato Animagus, must be recited every morning until an electrical storm arrives, at which point the potion can be taken.”

“Blimey, all that to turn into a bloody cat?” Sirius said, exasperated.

“Well we have the first part almost done,” James said, feeling the faintest outline of the leaf still under his tongue, “Next full moon we'll have to go dew-hunting, I suppose. Looks like you'll have to stick it out for a few more cycles, Moony,” he said to Remus.

“That's alright,” he said, “I've made it this far.”

“He won't be alone for those,” you said, “I'll spend the full moons with him until you guys are ready.”

“What?” James said, looking at you like you'd just told him you were off to join Voldemort, “not a chance, that's way too dangerous.”

“Aw, don't act like you're all concerned about me all of a sudden, Potter,” you smirked. When his expression didn't change it took you aback slightly. He was actually worried about you. “Look, I'm probably the best suited for it anyways,” you said, coughing a bit to coast through the awkward tension, “Remus and I are both wolves, or at least partly. If one of you end up turning into a sheep or something you might be dead meat, not to freak you out or anything.”

“That's reassuring,” Sirius said under his breath.

____________________________________________________________

“You really don't have to do this,” Lupin insisted as you sat on the floor together in the Shrieking Shack later that month.

“I want to,” you assured him, “take it as a thanks for helping me pass Arithmancy. Besides, it's a perfectly fine excuse for me to practice interacting with other animals in my animagus form.”

The boy beside you was quiet for a moment, shoulders tense and jaw set tight. It wasn't that he wasn't happy you were here, he was more grateful than you could know, but he was terrified that he was going to end up hurting you. On top of that was the fact that he didn't want you to see him as he transformed. It wasn't pretty, and it was visibly painful. He didn't want you to think any lower of him, though he knew that fear was irrational.

The calming jazz record that spun on the other side of the room was the only noise between you two for quite some time, but you understood that he needed time to gather his thoughts. This was something so deeply personal you were surprised and a bit honored he allowed you to be here at all. You noticed the photograph that he held in his hands; it was of Hogwarts, taken from the very edge of the forest. The sun was peeking over the horizon, spilling out between the complexly constructed towers that made up the castle's exterior, and casting a warm, golden hue over the landscape.

“It's beautiful,” you said, “the picture.”

“It is,” Remus smiled to himself and nodded, “James gave it to me, as a reminder. He said that matter what happens during the full moon, the sun will always rise on us again.”

“Huh,” you mused softly, “perhaps he isn't such an insufferable jerk after all.”

“Oh, no, he is,” Lupin chuckled, “but he is also a very good friend, and endlessly thoughtful even if he denies it.”

You let that sink in for a moment. You supposed he was.

“Well,” you said, laughing a bit as you shifted in your seat, “this isn't as deep and meaningful as the photo, but I brought something for you.” You reached into your bag, retrieving something that made Remus' eyes widen.

“Where did you get that?” he said, elated as you held out his favorite chocolate bar which had been out of stock at Hogsmeade for weeks now.

“You guys have a secret tunnel that goes right to the Honeydukes cellar and you've never taken advantage of their storage?” you grinned.

Lupin hesitated as he held the bar in his hands.

“So you stole it?”

“I left five dracma in the tip jar,” you rolled your eyes, “I'm not a death eater.”

His smiled returned at that, and he ripped open the familiar foil gratefully.

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

“It's the least I could do,” you said.

“It's really not,” he said, turning to face you fully. You were left a bit breathless as the unexpected intensity of his eyes. “None of this is the least you could do, because the least you could do is nothing,” he continued, rambling, “we were so horrible to someone you consider a dear friend, and you were willing to look past that. You're risking your life by even being with me right now, (Y/n).”

“You don't—”

“I do know that,” Remus said sharply, “I've never been in contact with anyone as a werewolf. The one time I was, I. . .” he trailed off, and it hurt you to see his pained expression, “I just don't know how I'll react.”

“You're saying that as if something bad's already happened,” you said gently, “it'll be okay.”

“How can you be so sure?” he asked quietly, equally full of frustration and admiration.

“I'm willing to put my trust in you, Remus. I think it's time you put some trust in yourself.”

Lupin's heart pounded a little harder in his chest. Had you ever called him by his first name before? You looked at him so reassuringly, so confidently. He couldn't understand it, but your words reached him to his core.

“(Y/n). . .” he trailed off, blinking rapidly. A shaky breath escaped him, and your stomach dropped.

“Remus?”

Suddenly you saw something shift in him. His breathing became heavy and his pupils dilated, completely filling his irises in a matter of seconds. He braced himself against the wall as he stumbled to his feet, his skin slowly taking on a gray hue.

“It's happening,” he said, voice deeper and strained, his neck convulsing, “you have to transform, now!”

You didn't waste any time, taking the shape of your wolf form and padding away a cautionary distance. Your stomach churned as you watched Remus yell out, his expression full of pain as his body grew in size, his cries slowly becoming reminiscent of howls. His face contorted in agony as his head morphed into a more animalistic shape, ears growing from his scalp and fur appearing as if his werewolf was fully formed inside him, physically escaping through his skin. You've seen werewolves before, but seeing someone you know actually turn into one, it was completely different. Nothing could have prepared you for this. Seeing anyone in this much pain made your chest tighten harshly.

At last it seemed the transformation was complete. Remus Lupin was gone, and in front of you stood a creature of at least eight feet, perched on his hind legs and towering over you especially in your animal form. You could hear how ragged his breathing had become, his body convulsing with the motion; growing and retracting like a beating heart. You heard a whimper escape his throat, and you could tell he was still recovering from the pain.

You steeled yourself, making the decision to alert him to your presence subtly. You tilted your head upwards, releasing a similar sounding whimper to his. Immediately the werewolf across from you was on high alert, his head snapping towards you and his lips pulling back into a snarl as his ears lowered. You took an instinctive step back, lowering your head slowly. He seemed puzzled by your behavior, which made sense seeing as Lupin told you he never interacted with any other animals during the full moon. His head tilted inquisitively and he took a heavy step forward. You forced yourself to not back away, testing the waters. His eyes narrowed again as he saw you standing your ground, but you quickly sat down, your head tilting to expose your neck slightly. You made doubly sure not to show any signs of aggression; you knew you had no chance against a werewolf at full strength.

However, he seemed to take your queues well. His tail seemed to relax a bit, his eyes returning to their full, round shape as he looked at you with curiosity. You sniffed up at him and he hesitated, but eventually circled around you and did the same. You could almost see the turmoil in him, as a werewolf you doubted anyone he came across treated him with anything less than terror in their eyes, but you were completely relaxed.

He whimpered again, and you were shocked at the sign of submission. You rose to your feet, and he didn't back away. You let out a friendly yip, which he returned, and you felt the weight lift off your chest. You leaped to the side, and he followed you, running alongside you as you bounded across the room, practically leaping off the walls. You jumped at each other playfully, rolling across the floor in a mess of fur. You smiled inwardly as this continued throughout the night, no longer seeing fear or pain or aggression in his eyes when you looked into them. Even if he wouldn't remember most of this, you hoped he would at least feel better in the morning than all the times he had to go through it alone.

Exhausted from all the playing around, you padded softly back to your robes, crawling inside yours and and gesturing over to him with your head. He followed you, coming down to all fours before laying beside you. You weren't sure when sleep came over you, but it was like the world's most comfortable blanket had been thrown over your shoulders, and your eyes drifted closed of their own volition. . .

“Merlin's beard, just what were you two doing last night?!”

You and Remus both jolted awake at the sound of James Potter's aggravatingly loud voice but quickly came to your senses. Remus' arms were wrapped around you, your back facing him. You were just barely covered by your robes with nothing underneath as a result of your transformation. As you scrambled to get decent your face heated even more as you saw Remus was currently without a shirt, his pants ripped considerably. You scrambled away from each other, trying to make yourselves decent.

Peter was howling with laughter, James looking smug as ever. Sirius was oddly quiet, but you were too wrapped up in the embarrassment to notice his behavior.

“What was that about being 'endlessly thoughtful'?” you grumbled to Remus.

“Right, I completely take back what I said,” he scoffed, “ 'insufferable jerk' is much more accurate.”

“Close your eyes, you perverted git!” you yelled at James, who was blatantly staring at you, “toss me my clothes at least, would you?”

James bit back a smirk as he grabbed your bag that was sitting in the corner of the room— clothes you had brought with the intention of changing into after returning to your human form when Lupin fell asleep. He tossed it over to you and you began to change under your robes. As his back was turned to you his mind began to wander. You'd always been attractive, sure, but since you'd always been his rival he hadn't really given you a second thought, especially when he'd been trying to get Lily's attention for ages. But just now, thinking about how downright adorable you looked when you'd yelled at him, something in him shifted. He shook it off quickly, turning to Lupin with a grin he'd managed to put on concernedly fast.

“You cheeky bastard,” he said to Remus, who was furiously changing into a new shirt, “you just wanted her alone, didn't you? Do you really need us to become animagi after all?”

“You're the worst, Potter,” the werewolf glared at him.

“Don't listen to him, Remus,” you grumbled, straightening out your tie as you slipped it on over your shirt, “he's an even bigger idiot than he looks.”

“Are you implying I look stupid?”

“Implying may not be a strong enough word.”

__________________________________________________________

It had taken months of brewing the potion and getting all the necessary preparations in order, but they were finally ready. Remus sat with you in the grass, wand at the ready to undo any untoward transfiguration that happened on accident. Peter, Sirius, and James stood across from you, standing at the edge of a stone ledge about five feet off the ground. You'd said that a leap of faith is what would best trigger their first transformation. They looked nervous, but they were prepared as they'd ever be. Over the last year you had grown considerably closer to the four boys you had miraculously come to know as friends.

“Remember, focus on your emotions,” you said, “you need to pick a strong one, let it fill your body and flow through you. If you block the magic off from any part of your body, it's not going to be pretty.”

“Right, but how do I—”

“James, I swear, I'm really rooting for you to be a mute animal.”

“But how do you choose-”

“Just do it already!”

“Oh, sod it,” James squeezed his eyes shut, not giving himself time to second guess before jumping off the ledge. For a moment he was certain he was about to land face first in the dirt, but then it happened— a moment where time seemed to freeze and his body felt completely weightless. He felt this sensation where his arms and legs vibrated with an intense, foreign energy. Images flashed through his mind in that brief moment in the air; Sirius manically laughing as they ran away from Filch, Remus snapping off a piece of chocolate to offer him after he'd lost Gryffindor a Quidditch match, and, unexpectedly, you. A feeling of warmth spread through his chest, and he grasped onto it, letting it flow through his body like you said. In an instant he felt torso shift, his shoulders narrow, his neck elongate; and when he landed on the ground he still landed face-first as he predicted, but in a completely different form.

He could see you and Lupin in front of him, mouths agape. He was about to say something when he found his vocal chords only allowed him a gruff whine. Shocked, he lifted his head, which felt much heavier than he'd last recalled, and as he looked down at himself he was taken aback to be met with a pair of hooves right beneath him. He staggered to his feet on wobbly legs, of which he now had four. As he tilted his head he could see the shadow of a pair of antlers twisting into brilliant shadows on the grass.

“Potter, you did it!” you exclaimed, “you actually did it!”

“Well how about that,” Remus chuckled, “a stag.”

“It fits him, I think,” you grinned, looking over at Sirius and Peter who looked determined and terrified respectively. “Well go on, it's your turn now!”

Sirius braced himself for the jump, but somehow he found no fear in his system. After seeing James shift in the air right before his eyes, he knew he could do it. He looked over at Peter who was nearly shaking.

“Come on, Peter,” he said, “we'll go together.”

“I-I don't know about this, Sirius,” Peter said, “I'm not ready, I don't think I can do this.”

“It's just a little jump,” Sirius said encouragingly, “you can do this.”

After a few nerve wracking deep breaths Peter gave him the smallest nod one could manage.

“We'll go on three,” Sirius said, “Ready? One—”

“AaHH!”

Sirius shoved Peter off the ledge, knowing he wouldn't jump on his own, before taking the plunge himself. Peter's screams became higher and higher pitched as he shrank at an alarming speed, almost an undetectable size by the time he hit the grass. A small brown rat scurried across the field towards you and Lupin.

The stag in front of you made a sound, dragging his hooves across the grass in what you could imagine as James' unadulterated laughter at his friend.

Sirius began to morph almost as soon as he left the ground, something you were surprised by. He landed on his hind legs, landing gracefully as his front two followed, and a shaggy black dog looked back at you with mischief in its eyes.

You couldn't help but go over and pet him. You laughed as he nudged you with his nose, a resistance that was quickly halted as soon as you started scratching him behind the ears.

“I have to say, I didn't think you would actually manage that on your first try,” you said, secretly prouder than they could have known, “but if anyone could have done it, it's you three stubborn goons.”

James huffed as he saw you continue to pet Sirius, using his antlers to prod the dog out of the way. Sirius barked, lunging at him playfully. It was quite a scene to see the two interact.

“Honestly, this is a pretty solid group,” you said, “you've got James who blends perfectly with the surrounding wildlife so he wouldn't be suspicions, Sirius who could probably do a fair bit of damage as a dog if he needed, and Peter who can fit through small spaces and snoop around the castle virtually undetected.”

“Quite an odd pack,” Remus chuckled.

“Definitely,” you agreed, “but a pack nonetheless.”

And that very week, Remus Lupin was able to spend his first night as a werewolf with his four friends by his side.

__________________________________________________________

“So, how did we choose which animals we turn into?” James had asked you the next day at breakfast, “I specifically tried for a dragon.”

“You don't get to choose,” you rolled your eyes, “You're a stag, that's the end of it. It's pretty much up to chance.”

“I'm sorry, you're telling me I could have turned into a fish and died right there on the ground?!”

“If only,” you sighed dreamily, earning you a playful shove from James. “Alright, it's not completely random, but you're definitely in the unknown the first time you turn,” you went on to explain, “and once you turn for the first time, that's it. That's your animal. A wizard takes on the animagus form of whatever animal most closely resembles their personality. So, a horny bastard for James, a loyal little puppy for Sirius—”

“A bitch for you,” Sirius quipped.

“Never heard that one before,” you scoffed, purposefully messing up his hair.

“Hey, watch it!” he shoved you off him, twisting each of his curls back into form.

“Well, look who's a high maintenance pup,” you chuckled.

Around the same time that year, you finally completed the map. It came together beautifully, each different way of folding the paper revealing a different level of the castle for easy navigation. You'd included the surrounding forests as well as the parts of Hogsmeade that applied for the secret passageways, all of which were marked with symbols and the unique names you'd all come up with. Every student and staff member at Hogwarts had a tiny scroll with their name that appeared in their location. Remus had added the nice detail of including footprints at the last second, so you could see which way they were facing and walking as well. It was fireproof, rip proof, and prone to insulting anyone else who tried to read it. It was the pinnacle of your magical (and slightly illegal) achievement.

“We should write our names on it,” James said, looking down proudly at the finished map, “it belongs to us, after all. We don't want anyone else taking the credit.”

“Yeah, fantastic way to get caught,” Sirius rolled his eyes, “what if Filch comes across it? That's like leaving your signature at a murder scene.”

“You should use code names, then,” you suggested, “I know you guys call Remus 'Moony' as a joke, but I kind of like it.”

The scarred boy blushed lightly at the compliment, a brow raised to his other three friends.

“Alright then, I guess you should all say hi to Rudolph over here,” Sirius said, jutting his thumb in James' direction. The bespectacled boy narrowed his eyes before shooting back.

“Right! And this is my good friend, Snuffles.”

Sirius lunged at him and James swatted him away in laughter.

“Come on, you two,” Remus said, “or we won't put anything down for you at all.”

“I've got an idea for Peter,” you piped in, “When my mom used to garden she said she didn't mind having rats there because their tails resembled worms, which were an old a sign of healthy soil, I know it's odd, but I think Wormtail sounds pretty cool.”

Peter seemed to perk up at your acknowledgment and nodded. It suited him somehow.

“Should we pick animal features too, then?” James mused, “I guess Antlers doesn't really sound that cool. What's another word? Horns? Give me some analogies, guys. What else do they look like?”

“Yours honestly kind of look like a couple of bent forks,” you snickered.

“Prongs?” Sirius snorted, the laughter that followed nearly splitting his sides.

“Oh, go on, what have you got then?” James scoffed.

“I was thinking Padfoot,” Sirius said, “like a dog's paw prints.”

“You know, for someone who was just making fun of code names a second ago you sure have given a lot of thought to yours,” you teased.

“Shove it,” he smirked, “What about you? Can't very well have a second Moony.”

You stared at him in momentary disbelief.

“Me?”

“Well, yeah,” Sirius chuckled.

“We couldn't have done any of this without you,” Remus reminded you with a smile.

“I think you've more than earned an honorary title as one of us,” James said.

“That is, if you want to,” Peter said timidly.

You looked at the four of them, genuinely touched.

“I. . . I don't know what to say,” you smiled.

“You could say 'yes',” James piped up.

“Alright, you loons,” you laughed, “if you leave Severus alone for good, then yes.”

“Hey, I think we've been pretty good about that lately,” James pouted.

“Yes you have,” you admitted, “It's the only reason I bothered to give you the time of day, but this time it's a promise.”

James rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face was undeniable. He'd never admit it out loud, but being friends with you was more fun than messing with Snape ever was.

“Alright, fine. (Y/n) (L/n), I solemnly swear that I will leave tormenting our dear old friend Snivelus behind us forever,” he said dramatically, putting a hand up at his pledge.

“Oh, bother,” you laughed, “the only thing you'll 'solemnly swear' to is that you're up to no good.”

“I'll take that as a compliment.”

“Then that's settled,” Remus smiled, “you'll need a code name too.”

“Let's see,” Sirius hummed in thought, “What other defining features do wolves have besides. . . well, their. . . fangs?”

“They're canines, you numbnut,” you huffed.

“Close enough, I'm writing Fangs.”

“Oi, I didn't agree to that!”

“Too bad, I'm already writing it~”

“Okay, well if that's the stupid name I'm getting saddled with them I'm going to write it myself,” you said stubbornly. You actually didn't mind the name at all.

“Well that's it, then,” James said, “Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs, and Fangs. We could join the bloody circus.”

“All we need is a group name,” you said, half joking.

“We've already got one,” James said proudly.

“Oh? Let's hear it, then.”

“The Marauders.”

“. . .”

You kept your face straight for exactly three seconds before you burst out laughing. The four boys flushed with embarrassment.

“The Marauders?” you chortled, “what are you, pirates?”

“It's what McGonnagall called us the first time we got ourselves into proper trouble,” James defended himself, his cheeks reddening, “You rowdy mob of marauders, she'd said.”

“Huh,” you chuckled, coming down from your laughing fit, “Well, then I suppose that would make this The Marauders Map. I'll admit, it actually kinda has a ring to it.”

And despite your group's joking quips and bickering, they couldn't agree more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wait,” Harry said, eyes wide at your story, “So, my dad was an animagus too?”

“Sure was,” you smiled warmly.

“This whole time I thought 'Prongs' was just because his patronus was a stag.”

“Your animagus form is usually the same animal as your patronus,” you explained, “In some very rare cases they can be different, but they work in the same emotionally driven vein of magical ability, so it would make sense that they'd be linked. Your father was extraordinary at both, because as much as he would deny it, he felt everything very deeply.”

Your eyes drifted to the wall opposite you in the living room, and a small but sad smile graced your features.

“Love is often the most powerful emotion a witch or wizard can draw from,” you said softly, “but you already know that.”

Harry followed your gaze over his shoulder. There, posted on the wall among a collage of photographs from the Order was a picture of his mother and father. It was one he'd seen a hundred times, and one he had his own copy of: them in each others' arms in a London park, autumn leaves swirling around them as they danced without any music. Even from this distance he could see the emotion in their eyes as they looked at one another— like they were the only two people in the world.

“Yeah,” Harry said, wiping a stray tear from his eyes, “I do.”

Read chapter 7 here!

Taglist:  @sleep-i-ness, @blackpinkdolan, @parker-natasha, @ornella0910 @undertaker1827 @thatwierdo-koemi @nxstalgicnxbxdy @calaryssia @aleksanderwh0r3 @juggysgirlfriend @beautifulsweetschaos @kattirin @mialupin1

[pagetgram]

Paget Brewster in Criminal Minds “Minimal Loss” 4.03  Promo Photo

Criminal Minds' Paget Brewster Gets a Devil of a Storyline  (Article Below)

This week on CBS' Criminal Minds (Wednesdays at 9 pm/ET) Paget Brewster steps front and center when a rogue priest conjures up demons from Prentiss' past. Brewster gave us a preview of the episode, as well as mooned over upcoming guest star Alex O'Loughlin. 

Matt Mitovich - March 10, 2009, 6:55 p.m. PT

This week on CBS' Criminal Minds (Wednesdays at 9 pm/ET), Paget Brewster steps front and center when a rogue priest conjures up demons from Prentiss' past. Brewster gave us a preview of the episode, as well as mooned over upcoming guest star Alex O'Loughlin.

TVGuide.com: I hear we're getting a healthy helping of Prentiss this week.

Paget Brewster: Oh my god, it was exhausting! [Laughs] When you're on an ensemble show and you're messing around with everybody every day and you're not in every scene, and then all of a sudden you're in every scene, it's rough. I would not want to be Hugh Laurie.

TVGuide.com: The episode is titled "Demonology" and it says, "Prentiss has a personal connection to one of the victims in a series of deaths with religious overtones." Man, you can almost hear the thunderclap in the background.

Brewster: Basically we discover that a priest is performing exorcisms outside of the church guidelines. Bruce Davison plays a Catholic priest we go to for advice, and he tells us, "Hey, the church knows it's done, but there are certain guidelines you have to follow," and this "renegade" isn't doing that. The question becomes, "Is this guy actually chasing a demon or is this guy a serial killer?" If we get this guy, are we stopping someone from doing a good thing?

TVGuide.com: Bruce Davison is always a fun guest star.

Brewster: That guy is so much fun. One day he asked me, "Are you Brewster as in William Brewster from the Mayflower?' I said, "Yeah, how would you know that?" It turns out that my [ancestor] nursed his through influenza, at Plymouth! He gave me the book Mayflower, so I'm sending him The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell.

TVGuide.com: Might "Demonology" change the way we look at Prentiss?

Brewster: Possibly. She has a past and it's a little controversial, as to how she knows this victim, a friend of hers from when she was a teenager in Rome. She asks Hotch, "Can I look into this?" And then she uses her position as a federal agent questionably in seeking out the truth. And there is something that happened to her as a kid that..... Well, it's risky what they wrote. We'll see how people respond.

TVGuide.com: Speaking of Prentiss' past, will we ever learn more about her mother, the ambassador?

Brewster: What's kind of exciting is that at any time, the writers can create more history. But there's nothing else this season involving my mom, who is, of course, Kate Jackson.

TVGuide.com: There was an episode last season where Prentiss offered to become the guardian to a young victim. Do you think we'll revisit her desire to have children?

Brewster: I do, yeah. A lot of the female agents who we have spoken to, they work all the time, and they have a hard time just dating. It's an interesting conundrum. Do they choose this life where they're constantly working and dealing with the darkest side of humanity? All we've ever heard about Prentiss' dating life is, "It's grim out there." [Laughs] But that's what we hear from the female agents we talk to.

TVGuide.com: Of course, a band of fans want her to hook up with Hotch.

Brewster: I know! I didn't realize that fans make these videos on YouTube? A.J. Cook sent me a hilarious one that made it look like Prentiss and J.J. were having a secret lesbian affair. You know, when Hotch was blown up in the SUV, we shot this scene where he's in the hospital and I'm standing next to him, looking at his bleeding ear. Our director came in and said, "Paget, you're looking at Hotch like you're in love with him. It looks really weird." So now, every day, Thomas [Gibson] and I flutter our eyelids at each other.

TVGuide.com: Tell me about some of the guest stars still to come this season.

Brewster: Well, in this episode, I got the best of the best. In addition to Bruce, James Remar (Sex in the City) plays the father of the victim, and Walton Goggins (The Shield) is playing my childhood friend....

TVGuide.com: Have you shot the episode with Alex O'Loughlin (Moonlight) yet?

Brewster: Oh, Alex.... Alex sets all the girls into a twitter. Various departments were vying for Alex's attention. We just finished that this past Saturday morning, at 5:30 am.

TVGuide.com: Did Prentiss get a "moment" with Alex?

Brewster: No, No.... Prentiss had no moments with Alex! [Laughs] He's a cutie-pie! There's a little kid, Jake Cherry (Desperate Housewives), in that episode, and he's amazing too. All our guest stars are extraordinary, which we need to remember. We're there every day, and we have long-standing jokes with the crew, so we need to remember there is someone standing next to us, acting [as if] they're about to die or their child has been murdered. They're working up all this emotion, and we're hiding fart machines from each other. We're the most childish set, and we love it!

TVGuide.com: Are there plans for another explosive season finale?

Brewster: I haven't heard anything yet. We're doing 26 episodes, and most shows do 22, so we should have finished two episodes ago. It's a grind.

TVGuide.com: You need to stop being so damn good!

Brewster: [Laughs] We're just trying to make it to the finish line. I'm sure [the finale] will be shocking, but I don't know if they can blow us up again. They only did that last year so none of could ask for a raise!

[siriusmydeer]

breakup with your girlfriend, i’m bored.

james potter x fem!reader, platonic!remus lupin x reader, james potter x lily evans

summary: james’ journey onto finding love; just not with you.

word count: 1.9k

warnings: unrequited love, angst, swearing, crying, mentions of food, self doubt/insecurity, pining, mentions of murder, mentions of marriage and kids

— 0:00

‘You got me some type of way

Ain't used to feelin' this way

I do not know what to say

“so, mates, i think m’finally getting somewhere with lils!” the tone of excitement thickly lacing the bespectacled boys words. “m’sure of it.” he continued, a bit of confusion in his words but still the same amount of excitement as before.

his brows were furrowed and he picked at the skin of his fingernails trying to relieve himself, further wringing his hands a few times before looking at his friends for their input.

“m’so— m’so happy for you, prongs. really, that’s great.” your voice faltering as you continued to speak, trying to scoundrel up a tone of excitement that would’ve played off well enough. instead all you were feeling stone cold truth of dejection.

But I know I shouldn't think about it

Took one fuckin' look at your face

Now I wanna know how you taste

Usually don't give it away

But you know I'm out here thinkin' 'bout it’

a fake smile plastered your face, trying to push back the tears that wanted to desperately prick at your eyes. you tried to further block them from escaping your waterline as you hear the boy jabber close to every single day about the red head he had been continuously fawning over.

the day went subsequently normal; potions, transfiguration, break period, plan pranks and dinner. but unfortunately for you, you didn’t have the privilege to share a messy dormitory with the four other boys leaving their conversations and discussions open about you and more your feelings.

“d’you think y/n was a bit off today?” peter asked abruptly from the place he sat on the oak wood floor, catching the attention of the three other boys who were seated on their separate twin beds. furthering to retain all memories of you from that day attempting to identify where you might’ve seemed ‘off.’

‘Then I realize she's right there

And I'm at home like, "Damn, this ain't fair"

Break up with your girlfriend

Yeah, yeah, 'cause I'm bored

“maybe a lunch a bit, she looked a little melancholy, i guess.” sirius answered this time, recalling the memory of you speaking in a very disconsolate tone. “y’think it’s anything major, or just stress?” he questioned again, beginning to worry about his close friend.

“dunno, i don’t think so.” the lycanthrope added to the conversation. he recalled james’ new confession about the red headed girl, and your extremely unhappy expressions following; of course noticing a bit at the time when it was occurring but just assuming you had a bad day with evan rosier pestering you for a date.

maybe... maybe she— but they’re best friends? his thoughts were extremely close to scrambled, remus was an observer, he was clever and sharp-witted; but this, he couldn’t figure out.

You could hit it in the mornin'

Yeah, yeah, like it's yours

I know it ain't right

“oi, y/n!” a deep voice called in the distance, putting your light jog to a stop in the middle of the courtyard leaving you to stand in the grass. swiftly turning around you were met with the taller fawn-haired boy, who looked tremendously determined.

“i’ve, uh, ‘ve got to ask you something, and it may seem foolish, but i think i just still ask you.” his voice hurried like his panting breaths from running across the school to find you, asking around the library and your dorm mates.

“yeah, moons, sure, anything.” affirming the boy who looked a bit confused, and worried but you didn’t know if it was for his sake or yours.

he grabbed your wrist in his palm pulling you on the prickly grass over to someone more private like to speak with you. “d’you— d’you like prongs? more than friendly...” the boy sputtered, further acknowledging your blown eyes like someone had just committed murder in-front of you.

But I don't care

Break up with your girlfriend

Yeah, yeah, 'cause I'm bored’

“i— uhm, well, that’s a bit— why d’you think— remus, what the fuck!” your words taking a halt every few seconds with a recurrent sputter trying to figure out where the question had even came from, or how he even knew.

“i saw— i saw the way you acted at lunch the other day. i jus’ wanted to know if it’s true.” he asserted, no present lingering touches of judgement in his tone.

remus knew what it was like to be judged, so whenever you had the urge to jabber out all of your problems he was the boy you had always ran too first. knowingly, or not. but he felt particularly disappointed in himself that you hadn’t trusted him with this potential secret.

‘This shit always happen to me (Yeah)

Why can't we just play for keeps?

Practically on my knees

“yeah— i do.” you admitted with a breath, guilt taking a pang at your heart. and anger taking a swig at your brain; how could you be so fucking stupid.

“remus, but you can’t— you can’t tell him, or anything.” your tone was hushed, and only meant for remus’ ears. feeling a tinge of embarrassment warm onto your cheeks, knowing someone you loved clearly didn’t reciprocate those feelings.

“i swear, i won’t. but m’here for you, i don’t want you feeling like you can’t tell me anything.” his words soft, and his tone genuine. why couldn’t you have fallen for someone like him? but instead, you crush on someone who was in love with someone else.

But I know I shouldn't think about it

You know what you're doin' to me

You're singin' my songs in the streets, yeah, yeah

Actin' all innocent, please

“c’mon, y/n.” he beckoned you to follow him, resting his arm on the curvature of your shoulder feeling his side press against your smaller one and guiding you to transfiguration with him.

why? why did you have to be so damn foolish? because it was her, with her beautiful red locks, her perfect maroon lipstick, her exceedingly amazing grades, her ability to be silly for a moment and loosen up. why couldn’t you be her? why couldn’t you have what she has.

it’s because it’s simple; you weren’t lily evans and you were never going to be.

When I know you out here thinkin' 'bout it

Then you realize she's right there

And you're at home like, "Damn, she can't compare"’

“guys! guys! she said yes!” james announced whilst scuttling across the mahogany floor of the common room. his actions at a halt flopping his body over the scarlet-red couch and a grin on his lips.

“who said what?” sirius muttered, glancing up from the map for a moment before looking back down in ascertainment.

“lily-pad! i asked her on a date and she was like, ‘yeah, fine, potter. but if you’re late i’ll kill you.’ just like that!” he pretended to play out the conversation for a moment, his thrilled movements and inflection almost animated from how happy he felt.

‘Break up with your girlfriend

Yeah, yeah, 'cause I'm bored

You could hit it in the mornin'

Yeah, yeah, like it's yours

I know it ain't right’

remus briefly glanced at you, concern swirling in his hazel irises, meanwhile, your eyes widened for a moment. you plastered yet another fake grin onto your lips, about to congratulate your crush on winning a date with his all time infatuation.

“prongs! oh my merlin, that’s amazing, i’m so happy for you!” putting on the best impression of exhilaration for your best friend, the act only remus could piece together and break apart.

“no way! prongs, mate, i knew you could do it!” sirius spoke, his tone fein for his best friend who had been in a pinning coma for the last few years.

‘But I don't care

Break up with your girlfriend

Yeah, yeah, 'cause I'm bored

With your girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend’

the boys continued to congratulate the boy, remus only giving him a nod and a smile. the marauders paying no mind to it and instead james merrily talking about the red head; his red head.

you weren’t his, and you never would be.

yet another realization struck you, the urge and need to move on present in your nervous system almost begging you to find someone else and to hide away from all the pain that could swallow you whole.

‘With your girlfriend

With your girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend

You could say I'm hatin' if you want to

But I only hate on her 'cause I want you’

you were now sat on the smooth ivory bedding that perfectly hugged your bed, remus’ body right beside yours. except you weren’t comfortable, you wanted to cry a valley of tears that could’ve lasted a life time.

“why is it her? why couldn’t he want me, am i not enough?” you spoke through broken sobs, feeling remus’ agile hands rub up and down the column of your back.

“you’re enough, y/n/n. he’s a bloody git for not seeing that.” remus spoke, sponging a kiss on your hairline. he felt the wet tears graze his shoulder, slightly contracting at the cold feeling but paying no mind to them as he comforted you.

‘Say I'm trippin' if you feel like

But you without me ain't right

You could call me crazy 'cause I want you

And I never even ever fuckin' met you

Say I'm trippin' and it ain't right

But you without me ain't nice’

“m’the bloody git! i fell in love with m’best friend who’s in love with someone else! next thing you know i’m accidentally setting dumbledores beard on fire, and accidentally spawning voldemort for christ’s sake!” your words mumbled and obstruct from the tears that had over come you.

you whipped your face free from tears for a moment, basically scrubbing the black colour of your mascara down your cheeks. “you’re not alone, you know? m’right here.” his tone, yet again, sincere.

you felt undeserving of his coddling, that your messy puppy love was so little compared to his issues. “i can tell your belittling your problems right now, you’re aloud to be upset.” he whispered, trying to assure you all he could, whilst disrupting you from your senile thoughts.

‘Break up with your girlfriend

Yeah, yeah, 'cause I'm bored

You could hit it in the mornin'

Yeah, yeah, like it's yours

I know it ain't right

But I don't care’

“merlin, she’s fantastic.” the brunette finished his third speech of the day on how ‘amazing’ lily is. yeah as if him pining after her wasnt enough, then what the hell was this?

the devil poking at you for cheating on your herbology test in first year, the time you accidentally tripped peter when rushing to potions, maybe it was the time you put belching power in sirius’ drink everyday for a week because he said you had a flat arse?

what the hell did you do to deserve this incessant torture that had been inflicted upon you. we’re you being dramatic? probably. but the boy you were quite literally in love with could not stop talking about how he wanted to ask another female to be with him, companionship, life, marriage, children. he wanted everything with her.

‘Break up with your girlfriend

Yeah, yeah, 'cause I'm bored

With your girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, baby, girlfriend

With your girlfriend’

but then again it was also extremely simple.

he just simply didn’t want you.

he wanted lily fucking evans.

‘With your girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend

With your girlfriend’

taglist: @fathermarty @kittykylax @terr0rizer @aspiringsloth20 @maddoxsmythologicalmind @amourtentiaa @dear-luna @famdomhideout @hufflepogue

if your username is crossed out that means you gave me the wrong username or your settings for public display tags are off!

[lavender-scent]

BBRae Week Day Five - Sunny Days

AO3 - FF.net

I Know My Heart Can Be So Cold, But I'm Sweet For You.

It was a beautiful sunny day in Jump City. The Titans agreed to seize the opportunity and go out since the city’s villains seemed to want to enjoy a day off as well.

Except for one person.

“What do you mean you’re not going?”

“You heard me Beast Boy,” she sighed, “I’d like to spend the day at home. Why is that so hard to understand?”

“But everyone is going!”

“And I’m not.” Raven gave him her back declaring the end of their discussion.

He wanted to try to convince her more but he heard his communicator vibrating. “Beast Boy, are you coming?”

He brought it closer to his mouth to speak, “On my way, Cy.”

It had been going like this for a while now: Raven constantly refusing every invite from the team and spending more and more time alone. Beast Boy and the others had tried to convince her to go out with them multiple times only to be rejected at every turn.

The whole team gave up eventually except for Beast Boy. It had taken her long enough to open up to them all, especially him, the first time and he didn't mind getting her to do it again even if it took a while.

Their friends believed it was just a phase but he didn’t want to risk it. He was not letting her shut herself in and isolate herself that easily.

“I’m going now but if you change your mind give me a call, okay?”

“Okay,” she said, still giving him her back.

He sighed but transformed into a hawk and flew through her window down to where his friends were waiting.

“What did friend Raven say?” Starfire asked once he got into the car.

“The usual. I want some quiet time by myself, blah blah blah. You should try it, Beast Boy, blah blah blah.” He tried his best impression of her with a frown.

“We’ll give her space. Maybe she’ll come around.” That was Robin’s answer every time.

'Next time there won’t be any “space”', Beast Boy thought to himself. He would get her out of that room. Not today, though. Raven really hated the sun and it was an exceptionally bright day out.

As they got to the park and started unpacking their stuff, Beast Boy realized he forgot something. “My umbrella! I forgot it at home.”

“B, for the last time, it’s not going to rain.”

“But the weather lady said there’s a 60% chance it would.”

“But the sun is bright and shiny today,” Starfire pointed out, “it does not seem that it will be the raining today, friend Beast Boy.”

“You know I hate the rain! Better safe than sorry.”

“What’s wrong, is the little kitty afraid to get wet?” Cyborg teased.

Beast Boy ignored him and transformed into a hawk for the second time. It would only take him a few minutes to grab his umbrella from the tower and be back. Once he got back to the tower he transformed back into his human form.

The tower smelled different than when he left it, felt different. Was Raven performing some sort of a spell? No, he knew when she was practicing spells. The scent always included herbs and old books. This scent smelled… sweet?

“Stop!” he heard a familiar voice.

Raven.

He ran to the source of the sound only to realize there was more than just her pleading voice. It made him run faster.

“Don’t touch her!” Beast Boy yelled when he reached Cyborg’s lab.

What Beast Boy saw was the furthest thing from what he expected. He had had all the worst scenarios prepared in his head, only to find Raven holding what looked like a five year old boy in one arm and a girl that seemed just a little bit older on the other.

“What the-“ before he got to finish his sentence he was cut off with screams.

“BEAST BOY!” the boy and the girl both jumped from Raven’s arms into Beast Boy's.

Beast Boy looked down at the two kids hugging his legs and back to his teammate. She looked like she was barely breathing.

“Raven, you brought Beast Boy!” the girl spoke first.

“It seems like I did.” She said nervously. She walked to Beast Boy and held his wrist, “Can I have a word?”

“Of course.” He followed her to the hallway leaving the two kids alone in the lab.

“What are you doing here?”

“I forgot my umbrella.”

“You do know that it’s not going to rain.”

“But the weather lady said-“

“Enough with the weather lady!” she threw her hands in the air in frustration. “Take your umbrella and just leave.”

“Okay, fine!” After a second thought, he asked, “Wait, who are those kids?”

“They’re my… cousins.” Raven said after she realized there was no way she could hide it any more.

It was obvious she didn’t want him there but he was still confused. Why did she hide that from the team?

“I didn’t know you had cousins?”

“I’ve reconnected with my aunt on Earth a few weeks ago. She had some work here in the city and I offered to take the kids for the day.” Raven answered hoping the investigation would be over soon. “Any more questions?”

“You have an aunt and you didn’t tell us?” Beast Boy paused. “Is that why you haven’t been spending as much time with us lately?”

“I.. I wanted-“ Raven was cut off by a loud noise.

They went back to the lab to find the boy climbing Cyborg computer set.

“James, get down! Raven is going to be mad at us!” his sister – Beast Boy assumed – tried to reach him using a chair but he was far above her.

“James, get down!” Raven ordered.

“I can’t!” James cried. “I don’t know how!”

Beast Boy decided to step in transforming into a moose, holding the little boy with one antler and putting him back down.

“That was awesome!” the boy yelled once the changeling went back to his human body. “Do it again!”

“Yes, Beast Boy do it again!” the girl joined.

“Erica, I believe Beast Boy has somewhere to be.” Raven gave him a glare.

“Right!” Beast Boy found himself forgetting about the picnic. The truth was he wanted to stay with Raven. “Are you sure you don’t need my help?”

“Nope.”

Both Beast Boy and Raven tuned at the sound of something breaking.

“Sorry,” James said, putting back a remote that was now in half.

Raven sighed. “Why did I think bringing them here was a good idea.”

“We still haven’t seen the training room!” Erica reminded her.

“I…” Raven was trying to think of a way to get out of this seeing how James causing chaos in the lab just confirmed that he shouldn’t be anywhere near all those weapons. Before she got to say anything, Beast Boy spoke up. “Who wants to go to the fair?”

“Me! Me! Me!” Both kids held their hands up high.

Beast Boy turned to his teammate. “You think you can give us a ride?”

Raven was caught by surprise. “Uhm, yeah I think I can. But only once.”

She held the changeling's hand with one and Erica’s with the other asking her to hold her brother’s hand as well.

When they got to the fair the kids immediately let her hand go and ran to see all the games they could play.

“That was a close one,” Beast Boy chuckled.

Raven didn’t laugh. “What are you still doing here?”

“Helping you?”

“I didn’t ask for help. I have everything under control. You can leave.”

“Everything under control? Okay then, where are the kids right now?”

“They are right ther-“ Raven looked around to find neither of them within her sight.

“They’re by the big wheel. You’re welcome.”

“I knew that.”

“No you didn’t. Now can you let go of my hand so I can get them some tickets.”

Raven looked down to find that she was indeed still holding his hand. She removed her hand from his and hoped that the hood of her cloak was hiding her blush as he left to go get the tickets.

“Can we please get ice cream?” James asked, running to her.

“Sure.”

“And I want to get on the big wheel!”

“Whatever you want.”

“Is Beast Boy your boyfriend?”

“No,” she answered without thinking. “Wait, what?”

“I saw you guys holding hands,” explained the little boy.

“No, we’re just teammates.” Raven blushed. Why would the kids ask her such a question? Weren't they too young to know about this stuff?

“My friend Lily thinks you guys look great together,” Erica said after she joined them. “She has all these drawings of you.”

“Drawings? Of us?”

“Yeah, kissing.”

Raven tried to change the subject when she saw her teammate coming with the tickets. “Oh look! Beast Boy brought the tickets. Go stand in line for your turn.”

They ran to Beast Boy to get their tickets and went back waiting at the big wheel.

“At least now we don’t have to worry about them getting hurt or killed by Cy.” Beast Boy said cheerfully.

“Yeah, great," Raven replied harshly.

Beast Boy turned to look at her. “Are you mad at me?”

She ignored him.

Beast Boy knew she trying to push him away again. Too bad it wouldn’t work.

“Why didn’t you tell us about your aunt and cousins?”

“It’s stupid.”

“I like stupid.”

“You wouldn’t understand. None of you would.”

“Try me.”

Raven exhaled a long breath. She had a feeling Beast Boy wouldn't be giving up soon. He never knew when to stop.

“I didn’t tell you about my cousins because I didn’t want them to meet you.”

“Are you embarrassed by us??”

“No... the opposite.”

“You’re… proud of us?”

“No! That’s not what I meant. I mean I am proud of you. I just didn’t want them to meet you because I know they would love you more.”

Beast Boy had never been more confused in his life. “People are usually happy by that.”

“I want them to love you. I just don’t want them to love you more than…. More than me.” Her insecurity finally broke through and she looked almost ashamed despite her defiance.

“Rae, I’m sure the kids love you. You’re an amazing person.”

“Yeah That’s how it felt before you came.” Raven knew she was being immature about this but she couldn’t help it. “I know I say I don’t care about fans but it’s always the same. Kids usually like you, guys like Cyborg, girls like Robin and boys like Starfire. No one likes me.”

“That’s not true!”

“Yeah right. How could I forget? Only creeps like the creep.”

Beast Boy gave her a sad look. He hated when she thought of herself that way. That was not who she was.

“Anyway,” Raven continued, “it felt nice to find my cousins and for them to see me as their favorite hero.”

She waited for him to tell her how childish and petty that was, how selfish she was to be hiding her whole family for the sake of being a kid’s favorite. But she heard none of that.

“Then I have to tell them about all the times you saved our asses.”

“What?” Raven gave him a confused look.

“Come on.” He took her hand and went to the kids as they just left the big wheel a little dizzy. “Who wants ice cream?” he asked.

Once they got their ice cream –strawberry for Beast Boy and Erica, chocolate for James and blueberry for Raven – Beast Boy proceeded to tell the kids every time Raven saved the team. He started to sound like a bigger fan than the kids were.

Every time he finished one the kids would turned amazed at Raven and ask to confirm Beast Boy’s story.

They seemed to forget all about the games they were first excited about. Her aunt called to check on them and agreed to pick them up at the fair later on.

Erica noticed a costumes tent that offered face painting as well and asked if they could get one.

“What costume do you want?” Raven asked.

“Yours! ” cheered Erica.

“Me too!” followed James.

Raven was shocked. She thought at least James would want to dress as the changeling or maybe Robin.

Both of them ran to the tent to look for costumes their sizes.

“I’m gonna go pay for them,” said Beast Boy as he walked after them.

She waited for them until they came out wearing blue cloaks and running around her. “Look Raven, now I’m Raven!”

She smiled at them and then looked up to see Beast Boy grinning at her.

They met her aunt not so long after. “I left one Raven only to come back to find two more!”

The kids ran to hug their mother. “We’re helping Raven save the city!”

“Hey, I’m Beast Boy.” The changeling offered his hand.

“Hi, I’m Selena, Raven’s aunt, ” Her aunt replied as she shook his hand. “Raven talks a lot about you!”

“Really?” Beast Boy glanced at Raven to find her face flushed.

“Aunt Selena, aren’t you late for your subway?” Raven reminded her.

“Right, right, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Thanks for watching the kids! And it nice to meet you, Beast Boy.”

“Likewise.”

Beast Boy couldn’t miss the opportunity to tease her once her aunt left. “You told your aunt about me?”

“You’re a superhero. She already knows about you.”

“Yeah but it’s not the same as from you.”

She tried to stop herself from hitting him because of the stupid grin he was giving her but he was making it very hard.

Suddenly, Raven felt something funny on her nose. She touched it to find her nose a little wet. Then again on her cheek. She looked up to realize it was raining.

She expected Beast Boy to complain, or say he was right. Instead he said, “Want to go on the big wheel? I saved us tickets.”

“You don’t want to go home? It’s raining.”

“No, I don’t mind.”

The ride was quiet at first but then Raven spoke. “Thank you, for today. I admit, I wouldn’t have made it without you. It was... Fun.”

Beast Boy only smiled.

On their wedding night, during one of the many danced they shared as husband and wife, Beast Boy reminded her of the day they spent with her cousins who were now older but still as excited to see their older cousin married. "When we went to get the costumes they asked me to marry you and I promised them, I would.” Beast Boy told her.

“I guess we make great part-rents together.” He moved his hand closer to hers, gently squeezing it, hoping she wouldn’t take it away. She didn’t.

“So you’re saying you’re with me only because you promised my cousins you would marry me?”

She laughed at his attempt at mashing partners and parents together. Then with a thought to his second statement she replied softly, “I guess we do.”

Beast Boy leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead as they swayed to the soft music. “I always knew I’d be with you. After that day I only wanted you more.”

nb: if you liked this check my poolside fic for day 2

also my friend's fic for into the woods for day 3

(@bbraeweek21 )

[valwentinefics]

First Impressions - Helmut Zemo x Reader (Pride and Prejudice AU) Part 1

The news of a new inhabitant of Netherfield Park has your family excited to meet the rich and single man Mr. Barnes at the upcoming ball. While there you come face to face with his friend, the Sokovian Baron named Helmut Zemo, who seems like he’d rather be anywhere else.

A/n: First part woo! This part was mostly based on the 2005 movie, the next part will follow the book more. I also won’t be doing such accurate lines in the future unless you guys tell me you want me to, I just felt like I should in this to set things up better. I’m also just slapping in marvel characters where I can, I hope you guys don’t mind!

Series Masterlist

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. This opinion was held by the community for the newest inhabitant of Netherfield Park, despite not knowing his opinion on the matter, and the mothers in each of the surrounding families had their hearts set on ensuring that one of their daughters would be the one to stake their claim on the man.

Your chilly hands held a weathered book as you entered the small house, abandoning the crisp and fresh spring air for the warmer indoor air that always seemed to smell slightly of flour. You often read outside while walking, a way to enjoy your hobbies of walking and reading as well as relax in the quiet spring air without your often giggling horde of sisters to interrupt your thoughts as they were doing now.

Your eyes looked to the group of girls gathered outside the door to your father’s study, ears pressed against the wood. You gently bonked your sister Natasha on the head with your book when you saw her straining to hear whatever conversation was happening in the room.

“It’s not polite to eavesdrop Natasha.” You scolded your older sister who’s beautiful face turned to a pout at your words. Although you were only the second child you often felt as if you were the oldest.

“Y/n this is different! Mother says Netherfield Park has let at last. It has a young, wealthy, and single inhabitant!” She protested, making you hesitate your retort.

Normally you were not one to indulge in your mother’s gossip about men, but the news piqued your interest. It was no secret to you or your sisters that your family was not doing well when it came to money. With your father aging more by the day and a cousin you hardly contacted set to inherit the property and everything on it once he died, things were not looking good. It was due to this that your mother was frantic when it came to setting up her daughters with suitable husbands. You sighed and pressed your ear to the door, knowing your mother was likely to attempt to set you or one of your sisters up with this newcomer, you were hoping to figure out some things about him before she did.

“How does his fortune affect our girls?” You heard your father, Mr. L/n, ask. You knew he knew the answer, your father was an intelligent man, he just found great enjoyment in pushing at your mothers buttons.

“Mr. L/n!” Mrs. L/n’s exasperated cry could be heard clearer than anything else that had been said earlier. It was as if she wanted the whole world to hear of her plights. “You know it matters because I intend to marry one of them to him!” Marriage seemed to be the only thing on your mothers mind, it was as if she was put on the earth for the sole purpose of getting you and your sisters a husband with good connections.

“Does the man get a choice in this?” You could hear your father chuckle and you had to bite back your own.

“The odds are in our favour with the amount of daughters we have, he very well might fall in love with one of them, which is why you must go see him at once!” Mrs. L/n pleaded, earning a sigh from Mr. L/n.

“You and the girls can go, or you can send them by themselves. Perhaps the latter will work out better, for you are as handsome as any of them. This Mr. Barnes may like you the best of the party if you are in attendance.” He flattered her. You knew it was a mix of sincerity and a way to distract her from her nagging. If nagging was something people could compete in, your mother would likely be world renowned for her skill. 

“My dear, you flatter me. I have had my fair share of beauty, however it is nothing extraordinary now.” Mrs. L/n paused for a second before seeming to remember her mission. “But Mr. L/n, You must visit him! Think of our daughters!”

The door opened, causing your sister Peggy to nearly fall to the ground, caught by your other sister Carol. The greying Mr. L/n smiled at the group of girls gathered outside the door before walking past them, chased by Mrs. L/n.

“Mr. L/n! Mr. L/n! Are you listening to me?” She called out as she followed him.

The older man paused, turning around to look at his wife and daughters who had followed them both. “I don’t see why I must go visit Mr. Barnes for a second time.” A sly grin spread onto his face.

“A second time?” Mrs. L/n gasped. “Oh, how could you tease me? Have you no compassion for my poor nerves?”

“On the contrary my dear, I have the utmost respect for them. They are my old friends, I’ve dealt with them countless times over the years.” He teased, earning an eye roll from his wife.

“Will he be attending the ball tomorrow?” Spoke up Sharon, excitement clearly shown on her face as she looked at your father expectantly.

“I believe so.” Mr. L/n replied, sitting down and watching as your sisters exploded with joy, chattering loudly about what they would wear and pestering him with questions about what the man was like.

You couldn’t help but smile and find yourself excited for the event. It had been a while since you last attended a ball and you looked forward to looking good and getting to see the strange new man. Netherfield Park was an amazing property, and you had heard many good things about the library of the place. The new tenant Mr. Barnes was likely to be an avid reader because of it, and if he was perhaps you could find a friend in him. 

A friend was all you were interested in. Whenever the topic of marriage came up you found yourself zoning out, much to your mothers dismay. Men were either too cocky or too daft, and always too easy to figure out. You wanted someone with substance, someone intelligent enough to keep his cards close to him, whose character you couldn’t figure out as easily as the rest. It would take characteristics like that for you to even begin to grow interest in a man, and even then only the deepest, truest love could persuade you into the chains of matrimony. 

-

The jovial air of the ball made a smile appear on your face as you stood in the corner of the room with Natasha and Wanda Maximoff. Wanda was your very close and trusted friend despite being seven years older than you. Your mother often would go on rants about how you would end up just like her, an unmarried burden to your parents at twenty seven, but you ignored it. Your eyes were trained on the dancing people, your foot slightly tapping to the sound of the music until it suddenly stopped. Your attention snapped to the entrance of the room, spotting three newcomers, two men and a woman. 

“The man with the blue eyes is Mr. James Barnes and the woman is his sister Miss. Rebecca Barnes.” Wanda explained, noticing you and your sister’s confusion. Her father had brought her family to Netherfield to introduce themselves earlier.

“And the man with the bad attitude?” You asked, examining the man accompanying the two. He didn’t seem too happy to be here. He was extremely put together, not a hair out of place and his posture exuding importance. His brown eyes looked around the room, making those who they landed on wonder what they did to deserve the piercing look.

“Baron Helmut Zemo.” Wanda explained. “He comes from Sokovia, rumors say he owns about half of the country.” Your eyes hardened, assuming his reason for being so unimpressed with being in the room must have something to do with his wealth and not wanting to be around so many common people.

“The miserable half of Sokovia clearly.” You scoffed, unable to rip your eyes from him. He would have been attractive if not for the ill temper he seemed to have.

Wanda and Natasha laughed at your comment, the music soon resuming once the group made their way to the other end of the room. You couldn’t help but stare at them, your attention mostly on Baron Zemo as he spoke to no one, despite the Barnes siblings who he had come with mingling with others.

You felt a hand grab your arm and you turned your head to face the person, realizing it was your mother. “Y/n, come, I must have you and Natasha introduced to Mr. Barnes.” She said, hauling you away to the other side of the room as you gave Wanda a pleading look, although you knew she could do nothing to stop your determined mother.

“These are my daughters, Natasha my eldest, and Y/n the second. I have others but they’re already dancing.” She introduced you and your sister. You looked at the group, taking great effort to stop yourself from staring at the Baron, instead examining Mr. Barnes. 

Mr. Barnes was certainly handsome with his dark looks. He was well built, clearly a man who went outside quite a bit, and his striking blue eyes were filled with kindness but had a small darkness within them, despite that you read him as a kind and gentle man who worked past his past mistakes. His eyes stayed primarily on Natasha, and you couldn’t blame him. Natasha was always the most effortlessly stunning sister, but when it came to balls where she put effort in her appearance, she blew everyone away.

“Mr. Barnes, are you liking it here in Hertfordshire?” Asked Natasha, her eyes stayed on him as well. You allowed yourself to glance at the Baron while the two conversed, finding the man standing still and talking to no one, instead looking away from your group and watching the dancing crowd with an unreadable expression.

“Very much.” He replied. You turned your attention back to the conversation to not appear rude, Mr. Barnes was giving your sister a charming smile.

“I’ve heard the library at Netherfield is one of the finest in the country.” You added to the conversation.

“It fills me with guilt, I’m not a very avid reader.” You had expected this from his athletic stature. “I prefer being outdoors. I mean, I can read, and I’m not saying you can’t read outdoors.” He began to ramble, seemingly embarrassed. Despite his kindness he didn’t seem to be too good when it came to socializing, either that or Natasha’s beauty was distracting him as he hadn’t taken his eyes off of her even when you had spoken.

“I wish I read more but it always seems as if there's other things to do.” Natasha spoke with a smile, saving Mr. Barnes from his awkward state. 

“That’s exactly what I meant!” He smiled, making Natasha smile in response. You knew they would get along well which would delight your mother.

You felt the warmth of someone's stare, turning your head to see Baron Zemo looking at you. Your eyes locked with his deep brown ones for a few moments, wordlessly trying to figure him out. You heard Mr. Barnes ask Natasha for a dance, and she accepted, leaving you with the Baron.

“Do you dance much, Baron?” You asked, hoping to ease the tension between you two by initiating a conversation.

“Not if I can help it.” He looked away, not seeming to be too pleased with being spoken to. The awkwardness of the moment threatened to consume you. You silently watched your sister dance for the duration of the song before heading to Wanda once it ended.

“What’s wrong?” She asked

“Baron Zemo is a dreadful conversationalist. He seemed so irritated with me just asking him a question, I can’t stand-” You were cut off with a shush, Wanda gesturing to where the Baron and Mr. Barnes were standing nearby, not noticing you two.

“I’ve never seen so many beautiful women in one place in my life.” Mr. Barnes spoke to his friend.

“You were dancing with the only beauty in the room.” The Baron replied with a scoff.

“She was gorgeous, but what about her sister? Y/n I believe was her name. She seemed intelligent, she asked me about the library. Maybe the two of you would be a good match” He nudged the Baron who sent him a look. Their dynamic was odd, and Y/n couldn’t help but wonder how such a kind man became friends with a man like Baron Zemo.

“She’s tolerable, but isn’t handsome enough to tempt me.” He replied, the two walking away to where Miss. Barnes was. You didn’t care about Baron Zemo’s opinion, but you couldn't help but be offended at his remark.

“If he liked you, you’d have to speak with him. Count your blessings Y/n.” Wanda tried to cheer you up. 

You forced a convincing smile. “I wouldn’t dance with him for all of Sokovia anyways, let alone his miserable half.”

Your joke made Wanda laugh, but your insecurities began to creep through. You had to forcibly stop yourself from dwelling on the Baron's words. He was pompous and judgmental and not worth your time. You looked over to him briefly and saw him looking unimpressed with everything around him. Was that really the man you would let spoil your fun night? He was the most disagreeable and unpleasant man you’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting, and you couldn’t stop yourself from wishing you would never have to encounter him after this night.

You stood up, determined to make the best out of the night, and headed to find a partner to dance with. You didn’t want to give the Baron the honour of haunting your thoughts. However, it was hard to keep him out of your mind when as you got in place to dance you felt the prickling of his stare on your back.

-

Taglist:  @killeromanoff  @ay0nha @thesuitkovian @pedropascallovebot @trelaney @hibiscusgardenia @dxnxdjarxn @naivara-duneimith @hiraethmaximoff @farihafangirls @aisling1985 @literatureandqueen​ let me know if you would like to be added or removed!

[e-of-west-glendia]

This is a very very very late birthday present for the amazing @moonscarsandstars. I love you so so much babe (except for that thing yesterday you little shit) and I hope you enjoy this thing I wrote!

“I’m not doing it.”

“But whyyy?”

“Because it’s creepy as hell, James. That’s why.”

Sirius shoulders open the door to James’ room and flops down onto his bed.

“It’s not creepy!” James protests, flinging his backpack into a corner.

“It’s just unconventional.”

“Read ‘creepy and stalker-ish’,” Sirius mutters.

James plops down on the bed next to Sirius. “You,” he says, poking his friend in the ribs. “Are no fun.”

Sirius snorts. “I’m plenty of fun. I just don’t write random people letters and put them in their mailbox.”

“At least not yet,” James teases.

“Not ever.”

James rolls his eyes, toeing his shoes off. “You’ll cave, eventually.”

“Unlikely,” Sirius says firmly, folding his legs up onto the bed. Only to be shoved roughly off not a moment later.

“Prongs!”

“No shoes on the bed!” James gestures to his own recently departed shoes. “This is the one rule that I have.”

Sirius picks himself up off the floor. “You sound like your mother.”

“Do not.”

Sirius kicks his shoes off but doesn’t return to the bed. Instead, he takes a seat at James’ desk. In favor of silently spinning in the swivel chair.

They’d been having the same back and forth debate for days now. Should Sirius send a letter to that boy who lived down the street? Or no.

James, of course, voted yes. As did many of Sirius’ friends. Sirius, for the life of him, couldn’t figure out why.

His friends seemed to be under the impression that this was some sort of young adult novel. It wasn’t.

You couldn’t just send random people letters. What if they called the police? Then what? Not to mention the fact that Sirius didn’t even know his name. That certainly would complicate things.

That’s not to say they were complete strangers though, Sirius and the mystery boy. Quite the contrary, actually.

The two had met before, when Peter’s mother pointed out the fact that that house was the one she grew up in.

The current occupants of Mrs. Pettigrew’s childhood home had insisted on giving her a tour. A sort of them versus now type thing, Sirius supposed.

As it happened, James and Sirius were there the day of the tour. And that was when Sirius had first run into mystery kid.

They’d been briefly introduced, but Sirius was too busy considering how awkward it was to be walking through someone’s house to pay attention to his name.

Now, nearly seven months later, Sirius, James, and Peter had seen the boy again. And for some ridiculous reason, James was under the impression that sticking a letter with his number on it in that boys mailbox was the best idea ever.

Ok technically it was Sirius’ own fault that the idea even came to mind. But he was absolutely joking when he’d said, “what do you want me to do, stick a letter in his mailbox?”

In response to James’ telling him to go socialize. That didn’t mean he was serious (all jokes aside, of course.)

“Yo,” James says, and Sirius stops spinning.

“Mm?”

“Peters asking if we want to come over. His mom's baking cookies.”

Sirius halts his spinning and stands. “Really all you had to say was ‘cookies’ and I would’ve been on board.”

James laughs. “Fair enough.”

James scoops up his backpack and slings it onto his shoulder while Sirius pulls his shoes back on.

“What are you bringing that for,” Sirius asks, curiously.

James shrugs. “You never know.”

Sirius rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything else about it, he just leads the way out of James’ room.

The two of them run into Euphemia at the foot of the stairs.

“Leaving so soon?”

“Peter invited us over,” James explains.

“His mom is making cookies,” Sirius adds.

Euphemia nods solemnly. “I don’t blame you, Peggy’s baking is amazing.”

“That it is!” James agrees, starting for the front door. Sirius follows him.

“Sirius,” Euphemia says, voice slightly sing-songy.

Sirius stops in his tracks.

“Those aren’t shoes are they?”

“Nope,” Sirius says. “They absolutely are not.”

“Hmm, that’s what I thought,” she says with a laugh. “You boys have fun now.”

“We will,” James calls, opening the door and then shutting it firmly behind them.

“I told you you sound like your mother,” Sirius snickers.

“Oh, fuck off,” James says. “That was a joke and you know it.”

Sirius very much does know it, but he chooses to ignore it.

A little while into their walk, Sirius feels a buzz at his side, buoyed by the familiar Apple ringtone.

“Who is it?” James asks.

“Lemme get the phone out first,” Sirius responds. Then, “Marlene.”

“Aren’t you going to answer that?”

“I’m getting there.”

A moment later Marlene’s face pops onto the screen. Her blonde hair splayed across the pillows around her.

“What’s up?” Sirius asks.

“Did you do it?” She asks, and Sirius groans.

James plucks the phone out of his hand before he can respond.

“No, he absolutely did not. I’ve been trying for hours!”

“Give Sirius his phone back,” Marlene commands.

Sirius take his phone back, eyebrow raised.

“What?”

“Pussy,” Marlene says, and then eats what appears to be a handful of gummy worms.

Sirius throws his hands up, exasperated. “What is it with you all and your stupid letter!”

Marlene shrugs. “Dunno, just need some gay drama in our lives I suppose.”

Sirius glares at her. “Marlene,” he says slowly. “You. Are. A. Lesbian.”

“And you’re gay as a maypole,” Marlene retorts. “Go get the guy, Black.”

“It is not that easy,” Sirius sighs.

“Can you write?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have a phone?”

“No, I’m calling from a toaster.”

“That would explain the poor video quality.”

“Bullshit.”

Marlene ignores this. “Seems to me like you’re perfectly capable of writing that letter.”

“Yes, but I’m not social,” Sirius says.

Both Marlene and James laugh at that.

“Sirius Black you are the most social person I know aside from myself and your haired idiot over there.”

“Hey!” James says, indignant.

“You can write that letter,” Marlene continues. “I know you can.”

“The problem isn’t I can’t do it,” Sirius says, handing the phone to Marlene so that he can tie up his hair, which has decided for whatever reason to fall in his eyes and be irritating. “I just don’t want to because it’s stupid,” Sirius finishes.

“I see,” Marlene says.

She’s silent for a bit. Which is slightly alarming to Sirius. Marlene is only this quiet on the phone when she’s thinking or playing Subway Surfers, her designated FaceTime Game.

“Well then,” She says, and Sirius releases a sigh of relief. “I guess I can’t make you.”

“Nope,” Sirius says cheerfully, a girl starting to spread across his face.

“Unless of course I dare you to,” Marlene says, and Sirius’ grin drops.

It’s Marlene’s turn to smile now. “Gotcha.”

“You’re the devil.”

It’s quite the well known fact that Sirius will take basically any dare, so long as it doesn’t hurt someone else. And as far as he can tell, this dare isn’t hurting anyone. Not even himself, save for some minor embarrassment.

“How did you know what my Halloween costume was,” Marlene asks, she’s still grinning at him.

“Well, you certainly aren’t an angel,” Sirius grumbles.

Marlene waves a gummy worm at him. “Ain’t that the truth. Well then, I dare you to write that random guy a letter.”

James whistles. “Gosh why didn’t I think of that?”

“You’re afraid of being murdered, maybe?” Sirius suggests.

“And Marlene isn’t?”

“I’m the devil, remember? Already dead.”

“Right, of course, my bad,” James says.

Marlene turns her attention back towards Sirius. “You’re near Peter’s, right? You should send the letter now.”

“With what?” Sirius asks. “I’m short on paper if you can’t tell.”

Marlene gestures to James who is holding up his backpack triumphantly.

“Told you we’d need it!”

“I hate you both,” Sirius mutters, snatching a pen and paper from James.

“What the hell am I even supposed to write?”

“You number,” Marlene says unhelpfully.

“No shit Sherlock.”

Sirius decides not to ask anymore questions. He just scribbles out a quick note and folds the paper.

“What’d you say?” James asks.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Sirius retorts.

They’re right in front of the house now, and Sirius is wondering if he should just back out of it.

“Don’t be shy,” Marlene says from her end of the phone. Sirius has the vague idea that she’d be shoving him forward if she were here right now.

As it happens he doesn’t need the shove. He walked up the drive himself, ignoring Marlene’s, “Wait flip the camera James. I wanna see him do it.”

He’s at the front porch now, and he thinks he can hear something in the kitchen. There’s the sound of rushing water, dishes maybe?

Without giving it much more thought, Sirius shoves the letter inside the mailbox, wincing at the slight creak it makes.

Then he jogs back down the drive and continues towards Peter’s house.

James runs after him.

“Don’t you feel liberated now?” Marlene asks.

“If by ‘liberated’ you mean like a fucking fairytale charcater then, yes. Sure.”

“I don’t know of any fairyta—“

“Goodbye Marlene,” Sirius says, he takes the phone from James and promptly hangs up on her.

“Rude,” James says jokingly.

“Oh, please, she’s done worse,” Sirius snorts.

“But don’t you feel excited?” James asks.

“I feel anxiety.”

“You’ll thank us later.”

Even thought Sirius rolls his eyes and shoves James into a nearby plant, he can’t help but wonder if James and Marlene are right. And if this’ll actually go somewhere.

Ah, well, that’s another problem for another day. At present moment he should probably be running right about now before James comes to exact his revenge. And that, is exactly what he does.

[galacticlamps]

im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room. 

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

[mermaidxatxheart]

A Beautiful Lie

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 12k

Warnings: This one is rough, guys. Trauma, torture, blackmail, Bucky being dangerously charming. If torture isn’t for you, please don’t read. 

Prompt: The truth is, I was only using you. (will be in bold)

Summary: You’re forced to do something terrible, something you would give your soul not to have to do. 

A/N: Y’all, it’s been a hot minute since I posted anything, almost all year. I’ve really been struggling to find the inspiration to write and I really appreciate everyone who has stuck with me and followed me through this dry spell. Hopefully, I’m reaching the end of it. This is for @coffee-with-bucky‘s 2k writing challenge. I am beyond late, and I am so very sorry. Congratulations on your milestone, and I hope you reach many more. 

“You didn’t have to walk me home, Bucky. It’s in the complete opposite direction of where you need to be.” You tell him as he dutifully walks you up the steps to your apartment building. 

 “Are you kidding? My mother would be rolling in her grave if I let my date walk home by herself. She raised me better than that.” He defends, raising a big hand to his chest. “And I’m right where I need to be, making sure my girl gets home safe.” He nudges your arm playfully. “Besides, I get to spend more time with you this way.”

 “Those are all very good points.”

 He pulls open the heavy door for you and you step inside. You’ve only been dating Bucky a couple of months, but so far, he’s the most amazing person you’ve ever met. Old world charm without being a creepy serial killer; a gentleman without assuming you need to give him something in return. 

 It’s nice to be doted on just because. 

 He pushes the button for your floor and watches the numbers. You watch him. His long eyelashes, his perfectly sculpted profile, strong jaw, pouty lips. They twitch at the corners, but he doesn’t take his eyes off the numbers. The creaking of the elevator stretches out the silence as it descends. 

 “You’re staring.” He points out. 

 “Am I? Oops.” You shrug, still looking at him.

 “Do I have something on my face?” He sighs.

 “Why does there have to be anything wrong? Maybe I’m just watching so you don’t disappear.” You turn to face him.

 Slowly, he twists his head to look at you, a frown tugging at his mouth now. “Disappear? And where exactly would I go?” 

 “Wherever it is that perfect men go when the dream ends.” You lean against him with a smile. 

 “Y/N, I’m far from perfect.” He shakes his head and you capture his face in your hands, having to rise up on your tiptoes. 

 “You have been everything I could have ever wished for. You’re perfect for me.”

 He dips forward to kiss you softly and the doors ding open. He wraps his big arms around you and lifts you up, carrying you into the small box. You yelp in surprise and cling to his shoulders. He grins and sets you back against the wall, leaning down to kiss you again. 

 He’s soft. So very soft and gentle with you. The cool metal of his left hand brushes down your cheek and his eyes search yours, the smile on his face growing with each passing second. 

 “What?” You ask quietly. “Do I have something on my face?”

 He laughs quietly. “You’re beautiful.” He shakes his head. “No, I was just thinking about something.” He says so casually. 

 “Care to share with the class, Barnes?” You tease. 

 “Well, I was just thinking that I love you.” He says, turning around to face the doors. 

 Your heart tumbles in your chest as you look at his shit eating grin. “You do?” 

 “Why wouldn’t I? You’re perfect for me.” He shrugs and you smack his arm. He laughs, capturing your hand and bringing it to his lips.

 “I love you, too.” 

 He pulls you against him and picks you up, kissing you hungrily. You rake your fingers through his hair, moving with him in perfect harmony. 

 The doors open on your floor and he carries you out and down the hallway, stopping just outside your door. He kisses down your neck and you tip your head back, breathing heavily. He presses you against the wall, finding all your sensitive spots. You let out a breathy moan and he pulls away with a small chuckle. 

 “Do you want to come in?” You ask as he sets you back down on wobbly legs. 

 “I think one milestone is enough for tonight.” He smiles, brushing your hair back behind your ears. 

 “Nope, not enough.” You shake your head. He has you in a state of frenzy now. 

 He grins. “Another time.” He promises. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

 He waits until you’re inside your apartment to leave. But that’s when you could have used him the most. 

 Hands grab you from behind, a strong arm curling around your waist and the other covering your mouth. You still scream, try to wriggle out of the strong hold they have on you. But it’s no good. A large figure clad in all black appears in front of you, arm raised and then everything goes black.

 ***

 The aroma of delicious smelling food wafts through the entire building. It permeates into every room and causes several heads to poke out their doors. You smile sheepishly, knocking on Bucky’s door. 

 He pulls it open, sweat pants low on his hips as he towels his hair dry. “Y/N.” He says in surprise. 

 “I thought you might be hungry.” You hold up the bags of takeout. “But I didn’t know what you liked, so I got some of everything.”

 “Did I hear there was extra food?” A voice says behind you and Bucky groans with a roll of his eyes. 

 “No one invited you, Wilson. Go away.” 

 “No, it’s okay, Bucky. Honestly, there’s so much-we can share.” You smile back at his friend. 

 Inside, your stomach is roiling with nerves. 

 It takes you a long time to wake up, your pulse pounds in your ears, giving you a headache. Or maybe it was the chemical they used to knock you out.

 “Finally. We don’t have a lot of time, so we’ll get right to the point.” A man’s voice says roughly, grabbing your chin.

 Your eyes flutter closed as you fight the effects of whatever they gave you.

 “I hope you’re paying attention because I definitely don’t like to repeat myself.” He warns.

 “But I don’t like to share.” Bucky protests.

 “Great, it’s settled.” His friend grins, taking the bags from you and leading you away from Bucky. “I’m Sam. I’m sure he doesn’t mention me much. He wouldn’t want you to come to your senses and leave him for someone smarter, handsomer, superior in every way-really.” Sam smirks and you give a chuckle. 

 “You’ll have to let me know when someone like that arrives.” You return and he groans. Bucky laughs, kissing the top of your head. 

 “That’s my girl.”

 More of the Avengers file into the kitchen and you back up out of the way. Unfortunately, you bump right into Tony Stark. He squints down at you suspiciously. 

 “And where do you think you’re going?” He asks, draping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you back into the crowd. 

 “Oh, I was just moving out of the way.” You say awkwardly. 

 “Relax, kid. I’m messing with you.” He says easily. He opens a cabinet and turns to you. “Hands up.” He says and you hold your hands out automatically. He gets down a bunch of plates and sets them in your grasp. “Table. Go.” He turns you around and points to the large dining table. 

 You set out the plates while everyone brings the food over and it feels so surreal, sitting at a table surrounded by the most powerful humans on the planet and they’re just talking and laughing like one big family. 

 Bucky squeezes your hand as everyone starts helping themselves to food. Bowls get passed around and you only take small amounts of food, your nerves ratcheting high with every passing second. 

 “Not hungry?” Sam asks, looking at you.

 “No, we had a big catering thing at work and I overate. I really just brought food as an excuse to see Bucky.” You shrug with a glance at the man next to you. He gives you a cheeky smile in reply, his perfect eyes crinkling in the corner, a genuine smile full of affection that you wish you could return. 

 “Well, you can use that excuse any time. Natasha grins, biting into an egg roll. 

 You chuckle, taking a sip of your water. They start asking you questions, what you do, where you’re from, how’d you meet Bucky. 

 They’re easy enough to answer and for a moment, you’re distracted. But then you remember your situation and you sit back from your plate. Bucky takes your hand under the table, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on the back. 

 Everyone eats until the food is gone, even tiny little Natasha Romanoff packs away the lo mein. 

 “You can stay for a movie, right?” Sam narrows his eyes at you. 

 “Depends. What movie is it?” You ask. 

 “Bucky’s never seen James Bond, so we’re starting with the first one.” Wanda says, pushing herself up and carrying her plate to the sink. 

 “I’ll stay.” You nod, standing and grabbing yours and Bucky’s plates. 

 “Just pile them in the sink, Y/N. They can wait.” Tony calls and everyone files into the living room, settling on the comfortable couches. 

 You slide down next to Bucky and he shifts you against his side comfortably. “I missed you.” He whispers, pressing a kiss to your hairline. 

 “I missed you, too.” You mumble. 

 “Long day?” He asks, his hand rubbing your arm gently. 

 You nod, faking a yawn. “And I have to be up early tomorrow. Stupid budget meeting.” You roll your eyes as Tony starts the movie. 

 “You don’t have to stay long. I’m just glad you came.” He smiles. 

 Instead of replying, you rest your head on his shoulder. Wanda starts the movie and you don’t have to wait long. About ten minutes into the movie, Sam starts to snore, his head tilted back awkwardly against the headrest. They all fall like dominoes shortly after that. 

 Bucky’s fighting it, his eyes drop closed before flying open again. You look up at him, feeling each time he jerks himself awake. 

 “Bucky? You okay?” You whisper, heart breaking in your chest for him. 

 “Mhm.” He hums, rubbing his eyes.

 “If you’re tired, it’s okay. You guys had a long mission.” You mumble, brushing his hair back gently. 

 “Feel like a jerk.” He manages and you kiss his shoulder.

 “Don’t worry about it.” 

 His eyes drift close and his head drops back onto the love seat cushion. You grab a pillow and carefully lift his head to support it better. His eyes flutter again and you pause, watching him carefully. But they stay closed and you sigh in relief. 

 Easing yourself up and away from him, you grab another pillow and prop it under Sam’s head so that he doesn’t get a neck ache in the morning. Natasha and Wanda have shared the couch, laying at opposite ends, both soundly asleep. You pull the blanket off the back and drape it over them, tucking them in. 

 Tony is in an armchair, not much you can do for him there, but you cover him with a soft blanket, your stomach twisting into knots. 

 You wash the dishes quickly, getting rid of any evidence, placing them back in the cabinet. You gather up all the trash back into the delivery bag and set it on the counter. 

 Turning to Bucky, you wipe away at the tears that are collecting in your eyes. You really love this man. It hasn’t been long, but he’s treated you better than anyone else in your life. And if something could be both the hardest, and the easiest-it would be this. 

 You make your way back over, carefully sliding your hand into his pocket for his wallet. You find Tony’s lab card and make your way to the hallway.

 “Your boyfriend is going on a mission tomorrow with the rest of the freaks. When he gets back, you’re going to show up, the loving girlfriend, with enough food for all of them.” The man in black instructs. He grips your chin roughly, forcing you to look at him. “This goes in the food. It’ll knock them all out so you won’t be disturbed. Even your super freak boyfriend can’t fight it.” He grins, holding up a vial of liquid.

 “You’re crazy.” You snap, twisting your chin out of his tight grasp. 

 He sighs loudly. “I can see we’re gonna have to do this the hard way, then.” He shakes his head and opens a laptop screen. “I was hoping we wouldn’t have to use this option.” He turns the screen around and your eyes widen. 

 “No.” You gasp.

 The building is so quiet, eerily silent with everyone being passed out in the living room. You’ve memorized the layout, you know which way you’re supposed to go. But your feet drag. You don’t want to do this. Every cell in your body is fighting against it, against betraying him. 

 The glass doors slide open noiselessly and you step inside. You almost wish one of them would catch you. It would be a relief to not be able to finish, but you know they won’t. 

 You find the right terminal and plug in the external hard drive. Tapping away at the keyboard, it doesn’t take you long to find the right file. You make a copy of it, doing what you can to ease your conscience before leaving. 

 You’re tempted to stop in and see Bucky, just to look at him one last time, as though that would stop your heart from breaking. But you don’t. 

 You can’t. 

 You leave the building in a hurry, anxious to be done with this whole thing. A part of you believes that you won’t be seeing the sunrise. But they aren’t kind enough for that. As you pass one, you toss the trash in a dumpster, further obliterating the evidence. 

 The coffee shop is unfamiliar to you. It’s far from your apartment, so the anonymity is a bonus. 

 You slide into a booth, tipping your cup right side up. The waitress comes over, filling the cup. “Can I get you anything?” She asks in a bored tone. 

 “Not yet. I’m waiting for someone.” You answer automatically. You tongue is like cotton, your stomach churning with guilt and anxiety. There’s no way you could eat, even if you wanted to. 

 You don’t have to wait long, your hands have barely started to warm from the cup when a big man eases into the seat across from you. 

 “You’ve done well.” He praises. 

 You can feel your face twist in disgust. A compliment from him is about to make you sick. “I’ve got your stupid thing. I’m free to go now?” You ask hotly. 

 “Sure. Not like we don’t know where to find you if we need you again.” He grins wickedly at you. A wolf looking at a sheep. 

 You set the flash drive on the table and launch yourself out of your seat, rushing for the door. You need to escape, get out of the city. 

 A stop at the ATM empties your bank account, and then you’re a whirlwind, throwing clothes into your suitcases. There’s only one thought in your head: escape. 

 Escape those awful men. Escape your betrayal. Escape the hurt you’ve just caused to Bucky, his wrath when he finds out. But you deserve those things, his hatred and anger. You could take that because you deserve it. 

 But those men, they’re only out to cause more pain, to make you cause pain. And you can’t put up with that.

 You hail a cab, planning on never returning to your apartment again. You’ll become a shadow if you have to. Somehow. 

 Your chest aches, but you have to do it. You have to say goodbye.

 Bucky

 He paces the length of his quarters, listening to the ringing phone on the other end. You must be at work or something. He hangs up with a sigh. 

 He can’t believe they all passed out on you last night. What you must think of them. 

 “Sergeant Barnes, Mr. Stark would like to see you in his lab.” FRIDAY comes on the overhead. 

 “Sure. I’ll be right down.” He leaves his room and heads for the third floor entrance. 

 Stark is pacing, sharp pivots and staccato heel to toe steps. His face is turning various shades of red. He’s pissed. 

 “Tony?” Bucky starts. 

 “What do you think you were doing?” He asks instantly. 

 “I’m lost. What are you talking about?” Bucky frowns. 

 “Last night, you came into my lab and accessed the Dresden File.” He snaps. 

 “Last night? We were all together last night. I don’t even know what that file is.”

 “Oh right. And I’m just supposed to believe that you also didn’t make a copy of it and take it out of this building?” He crosses his arms defensively. 

 “Tony, I haven’t left the grounds since we got home yesterday afternoon. And why would I take one of your stupid files anywhere?” Bucky fires back. 

 “Well, explain how your access card was used to get in here, then. Hmm?” He demands. 

 “I dunno, genius. Have you tried pulling up the surveillance cameras?” 

 “I... I was just waiting for them to download.” He huffs, turning his back on the former soldier. 

 Bucky rolls his eyes. He might not be caught up on everything modern, but he sure as shit knows that you don’t have to download security footage.

 They both peer at the screen as you enter the lab. Bucky’s blood freezes in his veins as he watches you steal from Stark. 

 “What’s in the file that she took?” Bucky asks through clenched teeth. 

 “A weapon. Or at the very least, it can be used as a weapon if modified correctly.” Tony looks up at him. “If she sells it,” he trails off unnecessarily. 

 Bucky knows exactly what will happen. You better hope he can’t find you.

 Bucky marches out of the lab and straight for the front door. He heads straight for you apartment, which isn’t smart; if you had any brains at all you wouldn’t be there. How can you do this to him? There has to be some kind of mistake, or misunderstanding. 

 You love him, you wouldn’t do this to him. Or maybe after 80 years in captivity, he’s forgotten how to read people. You were just a lie, a beautiful lie. 

 He pounds on your front door, nearly kicking it down but you don’t answer. He easily picks the lock, his anger and desperation warring inside him. He needs there to be some logic reason that you’ve done this. 

 Maybe it wasn’t really you. Maybe it’s like what Wanda does, an illusion. Someone making them think that it’s you.

 The door swings open as his phone rings. He steps inside, answering it. “What, Stark?” 

 Your apartment is a mess. Chairs tipped over, dishes broken on the floor. The cushions on the couch have been tossed. 

 “She emptied her bank account late last night. She’s gone.” 

 “See if you can follow her on security cameras when she leaves the building. Find out where she went.” He says with a sigh. 

 How can a guy be so wrong?

 ***

 The knock on your motel room door nearly sends you into a heart attack. You rise silently from the chair and creep to the door. If it’s those guys again, you don’t know how you’re going to get away. You’ve already refused maid service, no one knows you’re here.

 You look out the peep hole and your heart somersaults in your chest. You should have been expecting this, you should have known he wouldn’t let it go. Doesn’t make what you’re about to do any easier. 

 You square your shoulders, take a deep breath. Its for his own good. You swing open the door, your face cold and detached. “What do you want?” You mutter.

 “Are you kidding me?” He pushes his way into your room, taking in the dingy walls and ugly carpet. “Where is it?” He rounds on you, his handsome face contorted in pain. Maybe rage?

 “Where is what?” You sigh. 

 He surges forward, grabbing your arms and shaking you. “Don’t play stupid. The flash drive, Y/N. I want it back.” He snaps. 

 “I don’t have it anymore.” You reply dully. 

 “Bullshit.”

 “You think I’m gonna hold onto that? Got rid of it the first chance I got.” You snap back.

 “And now you’re just hiding in a shit motel in Jersey? Of all places-fucking Jersey.” He rolls his eyes. 

 “First stop on my farewell tour.” You mutter. “If that’s all, I’d like my arms back now.”

 He shoves you away from him and you bump into the wall with more force than you were expecting. “Just... tell me why. I thought...” he trails off and your resolve nearly breaks. 

 “I know what you thought. That’s what made it so easy. But the truth is, I was only using you.” You say, the words managing not to break. 

 His face crumples and he steps away from you. “None of it was real?”

 “Sorry.” You say flatly, but inside you’re shredded. 

 He leaves mutely, climbing onto his motorcycle and you worry about him driving home. But you can’t break now. You shut the door, cutting off your view of him and you sink to the floor. 

 Tony

 “Boss. Sergeant Barnes has returned.” FRIDAY announces over the lab speaker. “He’s headed for his quarters.” 

 “Is he alone?” Tony asks, his eyes drifting to the computer screen. 

 “Yes.”

 “When he gets there, put me through.” Tony says, spinning in his chair. Barnes had one direction. Bring back the girl, or at the very least, the stolen property. 

 Should’ve known he’d let his emotions get in the way. He’s just like Rogers.

 The screen to his left lights up and he can see Barnes tense in the entry way. He doesn’t wanna talk. 

 “Where is she, Barnes?” Tony asks, digging through the computer. 

 “I let her go.” He mutters blankly. 

 “I’m sorry? You let my thief go? You better have the files, then.” He retorts. 

 “She didn’t have them.” He sounds sick. 

 “So, now both are gone in the wind. That’s perfect. I suppose it’s too much to hope that you pulled your head out of your ass long enough to get the name of the terrorist group she sold it to!” 

 “Nope. Maybe this will teach you to stop making weapons.” The video clicks off and Tony shakes his fists, strangling the air, pretending unsatisfactorily that it was Bucky Barnes in his grasp. 

 “Dick. Prince Douche.” Tony mutters under his breath. “King Asshat.” He turns his favorite playlist on high, hoping to crush out his frustrations. The soothing tones of Black Sabbath pulses through the sound system and he gets to work, searching for whatever else Bucky’s girlfriend did to his system. 

 While he works, his thoughts wander. 

 You’re good. For someone who has never even been in this building before, you knew exactly where the lab was and what terminal to go to. You knew what you were looking for, almost like... 

 His Twizzler falls out of his mouth as a thought occurs to him. 

 Shit. He almost hopes he’s wrong. 

 He scrubs the rest of the files, finding just one anomaly. He backtracks the keystrokes and recreates it. 

 Finished, he sits back with a slump. 

 Oh. You’re very, very good. He bolts out of the lab and practically sprints to Bucky’s quarters, pounding on the door. Doubled over, gasping for breath-he pounds again. 

 “What?” Bucky snaps, yanking open his door, looking all kinds of disheveled. “Stark, do you even know what time it is?” He rubs his eyes. 

 “It doesn’t matter. We have a problem.” Tony gasps, trying to catch his breath. He’s getting too old for this shit. 

 “Yeah, you need to cut back on the caffeine.” Barnes sighs. 

 “No. I think your super secret spy girlfriend was put up to this.” 

 “Tony, I don’t wanna talk about it.”

 “Even if she’s in danger? Even if the people who did this to her come after her again?” Tony challenges. 

 “Stark, if she really was being put on, or blackmailed, or coerced-why wouldn’t she come to us? We’re a bunch of super freaks. We could have protected her. Think about it. She did this on her own.”

 “Not necessarily. We don’t know what they blackmailed her with. Maybe she thought the threat was too much of a risk. Where is she?”

 “Some piece of shit motel in Jersey. But she made it clear that she was only... that she did it on her own.” He clears his throat. 

 “Let me guess, while you were looking at her with those big puppy dog eyes? Yeah, no wonder she made you leave.” Tony changes direction. “Get dressed. We’re taking a trip.” He heads for Wilson’s quarters, knowing he’ll need the big bird brain as backup. 

 An hour later they pull up outside the motel just as you leave your room. It’s still dark outside, you should be sleeping, not leaving in the middle of the night. But here you are, bags in hand as you load them into a rental. You glance around nervously as you climb in. 

 “What’s she doing?” Sam leans forward, squinting. 

 “Looks like Barnes spooked her. If this pea brain can find her here, anyone can.” Tony reasons. 

 Bucky punches him in the arm, but doesn’t disagree. Tony tries not to let it show just how much it hurts. 

 “What do we do when we actually get her?” Sam asks. 

 “Get her to tell us who she gave it to. Then take them out.” Tony says simply. 

 “You never really said what makes you think she was blackmailed.” Bucky sighs, shifting in his seat. 

 “I found the file she copied. She made a copy of it on the computer first, then she removed key components. Things you have to have to make it work. Without them, these guys have scraps of paper-not enough to complete one for themselves. She transferred that second copy and that alone to the flash drive. She did everything she could to make sure they didn’t get what they wanted.” Tony half smiles. He should hire you. 

 “How do you know she didn’t write it down? Just to throw us off.” Barnes huffs as Tony follows you out of the parking lot. 

 “Cameras, Barnes. She didn’t. She deleted key sections. If she had just deleted a line or a random number, they could have figured it out with a mild genius. But she deleted pages. They have no way of knowing what was on those pages. She deleted half the design, code instructions, equations-huge chunks of vitally important information. It’s useless to them now. But I’d certainly feel better knowing who they are in case they try again.” 

 They follow you from a distance, confused as you leave New Jersey going south. You should have been going back to the city, not away from it. 

 ***

 It’s hard. Hard to remember that you need to drive the speed limit, hard to forget Bucky’s face as you lied to him. That look will haunt you until you die. Maybe one day you’ll have a chance to tell him the truth. 

 Maybe it won’t matter if you do. 

 Your eyes itch. It’s been a long three days. But you can’t close them yet. No rest for the wicked. 

 You pull into another gas station, heading inside. Cash only, and you could use about five more Red Bull’s. You grab a variety of energy drinks; Monsters, Red Bull’s, Jolts, Nos. The guy behind the counter stares at you as he rings you up. 

 “Too much of these ain’t good for ya, sweetheart. Make your heart give out.” He says conversationally. 

 “That’s the plan. Gimme thirty on pump four.” You add, sliding the cash over. 

 He hands you your bag and you pop the top on one of the heart attacks in a can as you start the pump. You chug half the drink while your tank fills. You climb back in the safety of your car, slapping your face roughly. 

 Flipping the visor down, you glare at your haggard reflection. “Wake up. You have a fucking job to do.” You point your finger. 

 You turn your music back on, blasting it loud enough to rattle the windows and you pull out of the lot, heading back for the highway. 

 Christ, your eyes itch. They feel like sand is in them every time you blink. You can’t stop, can’t slow down. You might already be too late-no. You can’t think like that. Bucky can’t lose anyone else. 

 It’s dark by the time you finally pull into the nursing home lot. You pull into a spot near the door, taking a moment to check your appearance. 

 Death warmed up. Perfect. You smooth out your hair before giving up. After two days of solid travel, there was no fixing this. You twist slowly in your seat, looking at every car in the lot, searching for people in them, something to hint at being watched. 

 Nothing, empty. You climb out and head inside the quiet lobby. 

 It’s almost empty, the desk clerk and one other person, sitting nervously off to the side.

 “Chuck?” You ask, turning toward him. 

 He looks up and nods. “Y/N?” 

 You take a brief second to think about all the faces you’ve seen, but he wasn’t one. And looking closer, you can see Bucky’s eyes, the statuesque angle of his nose. 

 Yes, this is who you’re looking for. 

 “Thanks for agreeing to meet me. I know this is strange.” You sigh, stepping forward.

 “You said something about danger.”

 “I would feel better if we could speak in your grandmother’s room. It’s a little more private.” You say pointedly. 

 “Right.” 

 He leads you to the elevator and presses the button. “Are you okay, Y/N? You look exhausted.” Chuck comments. 

 “I’ll be alright.” You wave him off as the doors open. 

 “I’m surprised you know who this is.” The man chuckles. “Barnes’ sister. She lives in a home in Savannah. Abandoned by her family, left unprotected. So easily eliminated. She sits in front of this window day and night, reading. One well placed bullet if you don’t do what we say, well, it’s goodnight, Vienna.” He grins wickedly. “You don’t want this old lady’s death on your conscience, do you?” 

 “You’re a monster.” You curse, spitting at his feet. The men around him laugh. 

 “Maybe you have no feelings about dear old Becky. That’s alright, there’s always plan B, or is it part 2? Who’s to say we won’t kill both of them?” He changes the picture and your eyes fill with tears. 

 No.

 “I can see we have a deal.” He smirks, caressing your cheek. 

 Chuck pushes open the door and enters comfortably. You slide against the wall, keeping clear of the windows. 

 “Charles?” Rebecca looks up, a beautiful smile crossing her face for her grandson. 

 “Hey, nana. How are you feeling?” He asks, bending down to kiss her cheek. 

 “Ready to run a marathon.” She grins. “Visiting hours are over, sweetheart. What are you doing here so late?”

 “Nana, this is Y/N. She’s a friend of Uncle James’. She thinks you might be in danger.” He says, gesturing to you. 

 “Danger? From who? Surely you don’t think my brother-“

 “No, ma’am. Your brother doesn’t know I’m here.” You say. “He’s, well, he doesn’t really know about this. I couldn’t tell him before I left.” You wrinkle your forehead in hopeless frustration. 

 How to explain this?

 “Charles, give me a minute with her.” Rebecca says, shooing him out the door.

 “Alright, I’ll be outside.” He smiles fondly at her before leaving. 

 “Have a seat, dear.” She gestures to the bed, but you avoid crossing the window, instead sitting at the small table. “Tell me what happened, from the beginning.” She urges, taking your hand. 

 “I’ve done something terrible. Your brother trusted me and I had to betray it. There were these men, they wanted something from your brother’s job and they forced me to get it. If I didn’t, they would have killed you, and someone else. I couldn’t do that to Bucky, not when he just got you back.”

 “And why are you here now?” She asks.

 “To warn you. To make sure you’re protected. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. He loves you too much and he has so little good in his life. And after what I did... he’s going to need you.” You say, a thick lump of emotions choking your throat. 

 You know Bucky is lost to you. But she doesn’t have to be lost to him. “If I can give him this, it will make it a little easier to bear.”

 She studies your face for a long minute in silence. “You love him.” She states finally. 

 “Yes. But it doesn’t matter anymore. I had to ruin it, to make him hate me. For his own protection. Now they can’t use me again.” 

 She’s quiet again, thoughtful. “Alright. What do you need me to do?” She asks, leaning forward in her chair. 

 “Go with your family. Stay safe. Call Bucky and tell him you think people have been watching you, you’ve seen suspicious men around the building. He’ll come keep you safe.” Your voice cracks and a tear slips down your cheek. 

 “And if he doesn’t? I’m an old woman. I’ve lived my life.” She raises her chin a fraction of an inch. 

 “A life without your brother. Now you have a chance to share memories with him. To help him heal from all that time and trauma. You’re his family Rebecca. He talks about you all the time, shares stories about your family-his family. He’s so happy knowing he can just talk to you whenever. He thought that would never be possible. His whole face lights up when he mentions you. He’ll be there. He’ll protect you, I know it like I know my own name.” You promise. “Please? Stay safe for him?” 

 She squeezes your hand, surprisingly strong for a woman in her nineties. “I promise, darling. What about this other person you mentioned?” 

 “I’m going to him next. But I had to make sure you were safe first.”

 “I hope you can fix things with my brother. He’s lucky to have someone so strong.” 

 “Hardly. I don’t think it’s possible to fix this. Thank you for listening. It’s an honor to meet you.” You stand up and press a soft kiss to her weathered cheek. “I’ll send Charles back in.” You head for the door, opening it gently. 

 “She agree?” He asks. 

 You nod with a sigh. “Thanks for listening and not thinking I’m crazy.”

 “Good luck. There’s a motel down the road if you wanna catch some sleep.” He says and you shake your head. 

 “Thanks. But I gotta keep moving. I have another appointment to keep.”

 He bends down and kisses your cheek, surprising you. “Be safe. Thanks for looking out for us.”

 You squeeze his hand and turn away. At least they can be safe. 

 The window is rolled down as you pull back onto the highway. It feels good on your face and you crank the music to help you stay awake. 

 Savannah isn’t that far from FSU, your next destination. Just a couple more hours. You can do it. 

 You pop the top on your last Red Bull and chug half of it, hoping it’s enough. 

 The sunlight creeps over the horizon just as you reach the outer most limits of Tallahassee. You’ll reach campus just in time for classes. 

 You feel a sense of calm, despite your new energy drink addiction-the light at the end of the tunnel is in sight, so to speak. 

 You find the campus easily, pulling through to the main building. Christ, you hope you can catch him in time. As you reach to unbuckle your seatbelt, you spot him. 

 That beautiful, annoying boy that you’ll never complain about again. 

 “Your brother, he’s in his final year at Florida State University, isn’t he? Captain of the football team, maintaining a perfect 4.0 gpa. I believe his favorite teacher is Mrs. Yaira Morrison. She teaches his history class at one o’clock on Tuesday and Thursday.” The man says with a twisted smile. 

 Your chest heaves, watching your baby brother on the screen. They have you and they know it. 

 “What do you want me to do?” You mutter, wishing Death by a Thousand Cuts on him and his party of villains. 

 “See? I knew we could count on her!” He claps his hands enthusiastically. 

 You lurch out of your car, legs wobbly from lack of sleep, proper food, and being immobile for too long. You rush towards him, shouting his name. He’s too far away to hear you, but you know you can catch him, you have to warn him. 

 A body steps in front of you, blocking your way between the cars. You move to step around them, thinking for half a second that it’s just a student getting out of their vehicle. They block you again and you take a second look, recognizing his face in horror. 

 “Don’t make me chase you.” He warns, but you’re already taking off between the cars, trying to find a way back to yours. 

 But no, that wouldn’t be safe either. They had to have followed you here. Before you can think further on it, arms grab you from behind and your head is bashed against the hood of a truck, everything going black.

 Bucky

 There is absolutely nothing worse than listening to two grown men bicker like school boys. 

 “I can’t believe you lost her.” Sam snaps at Tony. 

 “Me? You were supposed to be watching her car! I was focusing on not dying in Florida traffic. How do people live this way?”

 “I told you not to take 75.” Sam retorts. Bucky can almost recite this argument word for word now. 

 “Don’t take 75? She took 75! What was I supposed to do? Take a different highway and hope we end up in the same place?”

 “Or don’t drive like a damn grandma! I see why Happy drives you everywhere.” Sam shoots back and Tony’s face gets beet red.

 “Take it back.” He demands.

 “No.” Sam crosses his arms. 

 “Take. It. Back.”

 “Make me, grandma.”

 “Take this exit, Stark.” Bucky mutters. That puts a brief pause to their squabbling. You’ve had them driving for days on end and they’re all exhausted. How you haven’t passed out yet is a miracle. 

 “Why?” 

 “Because I know where she’s going and if you drive the actual speed limit, we can make it there before tomorrow.” Bucky fires and Tony glares at him. 

 “Where’s she going?” Sam asks, leaning back in his seat, thrilled that someone else was taking shots at Tony, too. 

 “FSU. Her brother goes there. If she’s being blackmailed, chances are it’s with his life.” He sighs. He wishes, not for the first time, that you had just confided in him. He would have found a way to make your brother safe, to make you safe. 

 His phone rings in his pocket and he pulls it out to see his sister’s picture smiling up at him. His heart tugs fondly at the photo. “Becky?” He starts. Something’s wrong. He sensed it when he realized you drove directly past his sister’s assisted living building. That was no coincidence. 

 “Bucky, I met a friend of yours last night. Lovely girl.” She starts off casually, no sense of concern in her weathered voice. 

 “Y/N? You met her?” He asks with a frown. Why would you have gone to see his sister?

 “I did. She came to warn me about this danger that I seem to be in.” He’s alert in his seat now, all sense of weariness gone. 

 “Danger? Rebecca! Why didn’t you call me immediately?” He demands. 

 “Well, because I’ve thought about it, and I’ll do what she says-go on a trip with my kids. But I won’t do the second bit.” She says stubbornly and he presses his metal fingers to his forehead.

 “What second bit?” He sighs.

 “She said that I should tell you I’m being followed, that I’m in danger so that you’ll come here. But,”

 “I will!” He insists. 

 “But I think she’s in more danger than I am. She mentioned someone else was being threatened, someone she cares about.”

 “Her brother. We’re already aware.”

 “Oh, good. Then, you’re also aware that she loves you?” Rebecca says and he can just picture her squinting at him suspiciously, like she might hit him with her slipper if he gets the answer wrong. Just like his ma used to. 

 “Not according to her.”

 “Ah, my brother, the idiot.” She sighs wistfully and he cracks a small smile. 

 “What else did she tell you?” He asks. 

 “That she wanted to keep me safe and protected for you. She didn’t want you to lose anyone else. That she had to make you hate her for your own protection. And she doesn’t think she’ll be able to fix things with you.” She’s quiet for a minute. “But if the circumstances were different, Bucky. If she did what she did out of fear, out of loyalty and wanting to protect a complete stranger just to make one man happy-doesn’t that change things, big brother? She’s not entirely lost to you.” She finishes and he can’t force the lump in his throat to move enough to choke out words. “Just, just think about it, alright? I promised her I would keep myself safe for you. Now I need you to promise to keep her safe.”

 He clears his throat roughly. “Promise.”

 “Call me when it’s done.” She says. “I love you.” She hangs up and Bucky drops the phone into his lap, rubbing his face. 

 “What’s wrong?” Sam asks from the back seat. 

 “They threatened my sister, too. That’s why we were right there last night. Y/N went to go see Rebecca, to warn her. You were right, Stark.” He sighs dejectedly. 

 He thought he was better at reading people. But you lied so easily to him and he fell for it. How had he missed every micro expression telling him that something wasn’t right?

 “So, we really need to find her, then.” Tony says, stepping on the gas. 

 “Finally.” Sam mutters under his breath. 

 The campus is huge. They circle and circle and circle, looking for your car. Twice, they think they spot it, but checking it out further reveals no luggage in the back.

 “Maybe we missed her? Maybe she got to him and left already?” Sam suggests. 

 “Wait, is that it?” Tony points to one of the back rows of cars. 

 “Didn’t we pass that one already?” Sam asks, confused. 

 “Only one way to find out.” Bucky grumbles, already launching himself out of the car. His heart thuds to a stop when he sees your luggage in the back seat, empty energy drink cans littering the floor. He waves them over. 

 “This it?” Tony asks. 

 “Yeah, pull up that fancy camera hacking thing and follow her. See if she’s inside the school so we don’t have to spend hours walking around looking for her.” Bucky says. 

 Tony pulls out his tablet, sets it on the dark hood of the car and types a few command strokes. Bucky hovers over his shoulder, breathing down his neck, really irritating the older man. 

 “Back off, man.” Tony elbows his ribs uselessly as the cameras rewind. He might as well have hit a brick for all the pain it causes him. There are several different angles across the massive parking lots and the interior courtyards. Plus the interior hallways and classrooms. There’s almost too much to watch, but they have to. 

 Tony finds your car pulling in and he slows down to watch where you park. It’s a tense silence as they watch you get out, heading across the lot before someone cuts you off. He blocks out the rest of the screens, making this one camera the focus. 

 Bucky’s stomach seems to fill with lead as you take off running, despite how exhausted you must feel. The man chases you, but Bucky can see what you can’t. You’re not running away, you’re being herded. Another man, massive compared to you, grabs you from behind-a blitz attack-and he smashes your head into the hood of another car. It’s hard enough of a hit to leave a dent in the car. 

 It’s an extremely good thing that Bucky isn’t holding onto anything, or he would have broken it. 

 Before he can even speak, Tony is already working. A car pulls up and you’re loaded inside. Tony captures the license plate and dismisses the camera, opting for another program. 

 Bucky paces behind his friends, knowing anything he would say isn’t going to be helpful. His mind is racing, faster than he can even process what exactly he’s thinking. 

 You should have come to him. You should have trusted him. How can you love him and not trust him? Of all the things he wants to say to you, this thought burns hardest in his throat. 

 What were you thinking?

 “What do you think they want with her?” Sam frowns, glancing at both of them. 

 “Revenge.” Bucky mutters, his skin turning cold at the thought of you being hurt by their hands. 

 “The file.” Tony offers as an alternative. “Maybe they think she has another copy of it, or access to it again. Might buy her some time.” He glanced at Bucky, but he hardly hears him. 

 “Where is she, Stark?” Bucky asks tersely. 

 “Cameras are following their car, and I’m running facial recognition.” Tony says, but it doesn’t really soothe Bucky. 

 “Here. Get in. We can follow the map they’re making and maybe meet them there.” Sam suggests, taking the keys. 

 Tony climbs in the front seat where Bucky had been, Sam drives and Bucky sits in the back, his nerves ratcheting higher with every passing second that he’s not smashing their faces in. 

 “Got them.” Tony comments, typing furiously on his keyboard. The constant clicking is begging to grate on Bucky’s last nerve. 

 Sam follows the route highlighted on the dash screen, and at least he’s driving like a human. You’ve been in their grasp too long and it’s making Bucky irrationally anxious to not be able to see you. It’s strange that just ten hours ago, he never wanted to see you again. Now he can’t wait to get you back in his hands. 

 “There’s an old camera system in the building that they took her to. It’s half an hour away and they have a bit of a head start. I’m back hacking it now.” Tony says. 

 “You know no one says that anymore, right? No one calls it hacking. And back hacking is hacking someone that already hacked you.” Sam squints at him suspiciously. “Do you even know what a computer is?” He asks, swerving around a car going much too slow in the zoom-zoom lane. 

 “Better than you do, Bird Brain.” Tony snaps. “Got it.” The display changes and Bucky stares in horror. Sam inches the needle towards 100. 

 ***

 The thud pulses in your ears as the buzzing sting spreads slowly across your cheek. Another thud, more stinging as the blood surges to the surface of your face. The restraints around your wrists pull roughly as you’re shifted in the metal chair. 

 You don’t make a sound, happy to take this punishment. You deserve this for hurting Bucky, and if they’re this mad-they couldn’t recover the missing parts of the file. Even better. 

 “Where’s the rest of it?” The leader sighs, pacing behind his man. His fingers are steepled against the bridge of his nose as he sighs loudly. “I was told that Stark had a fully functional, working blueprint. What you gave me is useless.”

 His brute swings his open hand again, the force of his slap twisting your head to the side. Your eyes water and your cheek heats up to the point of burning. The man grabs a fistful of your hair and turns your head back to face forward with a low chuckle. Your face feels heavy, sluggish as the excess blood rushes there.

 “Where’s the rest of it?” The leader demands. You remain silent, willing to take the pain. Nothing can be worse than the feeling of being forced to betray Bucky. He sighs loudly, nodding to someone off to your left. “Here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna go back to Stark’s lab. You’re gonna get the full file. You’re gonna promptly deliver it back to me.”

 “No.” You say simply. 

 “No? That’s funny. It sounds like you think you have a choice.” He tilts his head and another man steps forward. This new man, half hidden in shadows, takes a drag off a cigarette, the burning end flaring bright burnt orange in the darkness. With an exhale of smoke, the shadow man presses the cigarette to the fleshy underside of your forearm. 

 You grit back a scream, but as he twists it in the raw wound, it’s too much and the sound rips from your throat. 

 “We’ll give you some time to reconsider your choice.” The leader sneers, nodded to the others.  They exit, leaving you alone with the shadow man. 

 He lights the cigarette again, the smell of your flesh burning floats around you, making you sick. He doesn’t ask you any questions, doesn’t talk to you. He just puts out the cigarette on your skin, any exposed spot he can find. 

 He braces his hands on your burned forearms, squeezing tightly. You scream again, the tears falling freely. You can admit it hurts, but you still won’t give them what they want. 

 You can’t. 

 He chuckles, blowing the smoke in your face as the bright ember flares just inches from your face. Slowly, he removes the cigarette trapped between his lips and floats his hand around, trying to decide where to burn you next. 

 “Ah.” He smiles softly, brushing hair back from your neck carefully, almost tenderly. You try to contain the whimper, but fail miserably. He pulls down the neck of your shirt, exposing your collarbone before pushing the burning point to the flesh just below. 

 You scream, thrashing against your restraints. You sob, trying to breathe against it. Doesn’t matter what they do to you, you won’t do what they want. 

 The door opens behind him and another man steps through. He wrinkles his nose in disgust. “I don’t know how people can be cannibals. The smell is awful.” He laughs, clapping your torturer on the shoulder. “Brought you some more tools.” He places more cigarette cartons in the man’s hand. You whimper involuntarily and he grins, looking down at you. 

 “Ready to make a deal, sweetheart?” He asks lightly. You spit your answer at his feet. “Perfect. I love when they scream.” He shifts your shirt, his eyes turning thoughtful. “Well, she needs to be symmetrical. Every work of art is symmetrical, and you, my friend, are nothing if not an artist.” He smirks, stepping back. 

 The shadow man lights up again, taking a couple puffs before pressing it to your skin again, this time under your opposite collarbone. 

 Another scream tears through your lips as you fight against him with his rough hands and disgusting pleasure at your pain. 

 “Oh, one last one before we call the boss in, huh?” The newcomer suggests, pulling a cigar case out of his pocket. “It’s Cuban.” He teases, holding it out like an offering. 

 The shadow man takes it with a crooked grin and snips the end, smelling it appreciatively. He lights the end and takes a big drag off it. Your heart pounds erratically in your chest. This one is so much bigger than the others, a nickel compared to a pencil eraser. 

 He bites the end between his teeth and motions to his friend for a pair of scissors. His friend pulls out a pocket knife and the fear spikes through you for real this time. You thought they just wanted to torture you into compliance, but if they were planning something worse, you couldn’t fight against them killing you. 

 He bends over in front of you, ashes falling on your thighs. He taps the sharp blade against your right thigh, and then your left, as though unable to decide. He taps your right palm, his eyes widening in mock fear. Then he taps your left palm, nicking the heel of your hand. Then he drags the tip lightly up your arm, inside your elbow, up to your shoulder.

 The blade is next to your thudding pulse and all it would take it just one quick flick and you’d be dead. 

 But instead, he drags the tip along your collarbone and down along your sternum. One thrust and it would puncture your heart. Lights out. No more Y/N. You would never be able to tell Bucky how sorry you are, or how much you love him. 

 But you saved his sister. You can rest in peace with that knowledge. 

 You close your eyes, fixing Bucky’s beautiful face in front of you so he’s the last thing you see. 

 The tip of the blade presses into your sternum, breaking through the fabric of your shirt. But instead of going further, he holds that delicate balance. 

 And then he slides the blade up, slicing through your shirt like a hot knife through butter. He yanks when it gets to the seam at the collar, clipping your chin with the end of it. 

 You yelp in surprise at not being dead and blood drips from your chin. He puffs a few more times on the cigar before spreading your ripped shirt and pressing between the valley of your breasts. 

 You scream through a sob as he burns you, holding the extinguished cigar in your wound. The door opens and the leader steps through, wiping his hands dry. 

 “How’s our guest? Ready to reconsider?” He asks pleasantly. 

 Rage makes you spiteful. You can’t wait to throw anything you can in his face. 

 “Doesn’t matter what I say. You blew your shot.” You laugh, slightly hysterical. “Barnes knows what I did. I’m never getting near that building again. And even if I could, I wouldn’t. Not for you, not for the next scumbag, or the next one. You might as well just kill me. I should have told you that from the beginning.” You slump back in your seat, shivering slightly at the clammy sweat that’s broken out across your skin from the torture. 

 Oh, how you wish you’d been strong enough to tell him to fuck off from the start. You might be a day late and a dollar short, but you’ll be damned if you don’t do the right thing this time. 

 Bucky will know about his sister by now, she’ll be safe and protected, him by her side where he should be. 

 Your brother... your eyes fill reluctantly with tears as you think about your younger brother, just starting his life. He’s smart, hopefully smart enough to stay away from this mess, no matter what happens to you now. 

 “There are plenty of other people to do your job.” He snarls, reaching into his jacket. He pulls out a large silver gun, a revolver as far as you can tell. “See this?” He asks, pointing the barrel right between your eyes. You can feel the cold from the metal, just centimeters from your skin. 

 “Hard not to.” You manage.

 “It’s my favorite. Smith and Wesson’s 460XVR 45 Colt. Gonna leave a hole the size of a potato in the back of your head from this distance.” He hefts the gun experimentally and you try not to flinch, his finger too close to the trigger for comfort. He turns to look at his men. “Feels a little unsportsmanlike to shoot a girl like this, doesn’t it?”

 “A bit, boss.” 

 He turns back to me. “So, let’s play a game. I’m sure you’re familiar.” He releases the cylinder and dumps out the bullets. Your stomach flip flops uncomfortably. 

 He’s gonna drag this out as long as possible. It’s still part of the torture. He holds up one bullet and slides it in, snapping the cylinder shut as he spins it. 

 “How about it? Feel like getting my file now?” He asks, leveling the gun back at your forehead. 

 You close your eyes, picturing Bucky’s face. The way he kissed you before everything went to shit, the smile he’d save just for you. 

 The hammer clicks, but nothing happens. Empty. Tears slip out, stinging the cuts on your cheek, and you have another moment to remember how much you love Bucky Barnes. His beautiful blue eyes, his perfect lopsided smile, his laugh.

 “How about now?” The cruel voice demands. 

 You murmur Bucky’s name. A quiet prayer, something beautiful and bright among the darkness surrounding you. You can almost feel his soft hair under your fingertips as he kissed you against your front door that last night. The night he told you he loved you. 

 Click.

 Another moment spared. The man chuckles, gripping your chin tightly and your entire face throbs in pain. “Your luck is running out, little girl. Make your choice.” He snarls. 

 “I have. You lose.” You sigh, eyes still closed. “Bucky, I love you.” You barely whisper, lips moving just a fraction. You don’t say it for anyone else, just yourself. 

 Bucky will never know. You’ll die here, with him thinking you were a cold hearted bitch. And that’s okay, because you were able to give him his family back. And you can live with that. So to speak. He might never even know you’re dead. Just that you left. 

 And that’s okay, too. Better really for him to move on. 

 The cold muzzle and front sight press roughly against your forehead, tearing at the skin there. 

 “I don’t lose.” He growls. 

 There’s a loud banging noise, making you jump. The gun disappears from your face and it takes you a long second to realize you’re not dead. And then to realize there’s a violent fight progressing in front of you. 

 Slowly you open your eyes to see three familiar men fighting your three torturers. Sam is fighting the shadow man, Tony-his companion. Bucky is fighting the leader, with the gun. 

 Bucky’s metal hand is holding onto the wrist with the gun while his right hand is trying to strike at the man with a long, silver knife. The man backs up quickly, trying to stay out of the reach of the wicked knife, but he trips, falling backward and taking Bucky with him, the gun between them. 

 There’s a muffled boom, like a cannon and both men freeze on the floor. You scream for Bucky, fighting against your restraints, unable to move, unable to check on him, sobbing with fear and frustration. 

 Slowly, unsure, he lifts himself up, glancing down at his chest, hole-free. Carefully, he walks over to you, kneeling in front of you as both Sam and Tony subdue their adversaries. 

 He’s okay. He’s alive. 

 He cups your face gently, like he’s cradling a delicate bubble. Carefully, softly, he brushes away your tears before cutting your wrists free. His eyes linger on the burns, a dozen on each arm and you pull them back from his inspection. The movement hurts, but no worse than seeing his face, knowing what he must think of you. 

 “Why are you here?” You ask quietly. 

 “I thought I made myself pretty clear.” He frowns. “I distinctly remember saying I love you.” He smiles gently. 

 “You’re supposed to be with your sister. She needs you.” You protest. “You’re not... you shouldn’t... not after what I did. I’m not...” you trail off, your throat tight as a tidal wave of emotions crash over you. 

 “Sh, sh, sh. It’s okay. We can talk about this later. We need to get you looked at.” He shakes his head. He holds out his hand for me to take, but you can’t bear it, so you use the arms of the chair to push yourself up. You sway on the spot, your body aching, dizzy with pain. 

 Bucky catches you before you can fall, lifting you gently, holding you against his broad chest. You close your eyes, trying to fight the tears as he carries you out of the building behind his two friends. Sam and Tony are leading our their prisoners, taking a certain amount of pleasure each time they trip. 

 “You needed me more.” He whispers after a minute. 

 “What?” You frown.

 “You said Becky needed me. But you needed me more.” His eyes drop to your neck, the burns there and your split shirt. A growl rumbles low in his chest and he shifts you closer. 

 He sets you carefully in the back seat, climbing in next to you. He pulls you against his side and you resist slightly, feeling guilty. You were cruel to him. He shouldn’t just forgive you, not like that. You betrayed his trust, took his heart and threw it back in his face. You don’t deserve him, his love, his comfort, or his forgiveness. 

 “Y/N?” He starts quietly as Sam and Tony cram the two men into the trunk, lingering behind the car. Probably to give you some privacy. 

 “How can you stand to be near me? After what I said to you... you should’ve just let me...” you squeeze your eyes shut, so you miss him flinch. 

 “At first, I was just gonna pretend you did. But then Tony found out what you did to the file. He’s the one who figured it out, what was really going on. And then Becky called. She really likes you.” He says with a fond smile. “We were already on our way to Florida to get you. I’m sorry we were almost too late.” He whispers, his thumb brushing your cheek again. 

 “How did you find me?” You ask, anything to keep him talking. 

 “Tony found out where they had taken you and got into the camera system. We tuned in just in time to see the cigarettes...” his jaw locks shut for a moment and you can feel him struggling. “I nearly lost my mind when he pulled out the gun.”

 Sam and Tony climb back in,  effectively cutting off your conversation. Bucky tries one more time to hold you, but you can’t let him. The image of his face as he left your motel room haunts you. 

 You don’t deserve him, no matter your reasons for doing what you did. There’s a special place in hell for hurting someone as good as Bucky. 

 “Samuel, to the airport, please.” Tony says pompously. He flips down his visor and catches your eye, smiling. “Do you drive in Florida a lot?” He asks randomly. 

 “I grew up here.”

 “How did you survive? The roads down here are insane.”

 “Says the guy who lives in the city with some of the worst drivers in the world.” You return, your heart not really into the banter. 

 “Your brother’s safe.” Bucky mumbles, his hand twitching towards you. “We alerted the police.”

 You glance back at him and nod before turning to look out the window. You just need a minute alone, to think, to process, to cry. You need to figure out what to say to Bucky so he can see that he needs to leave. 

 ***

 The jet isn’t spacious enough to give you space, and they never leave your side at the airport. 

 Bucky sits next to you on the plane, keeping you far from the two men. That’s easy, you want to be around them just as much as he wants you around them. 

 You can feel him staring at you, the words bubbling up to your memory easily, but you don’t want to say them. 

 The plane lands at JFK and he sighs softly, helping you stand. He leads you out to one of the two waiting cars. You glance back at Tony and Sam, but they’re already getting into the other car with their prisoners. 

 “Guess you’re stuck with me.” Bucky says off-handedly. 

 “Other way around.” You say, climbing in. You start to pull the door closed but he catches it easily. 

 “Y/N. I know why you did what you did. I know it wasn’t your fault, or your choice. I can’t imagine what you went through, being forced to do all that. Because I know how you really feel. And right now, yeah, you feel like shit. It’s understandable. And that’s okay. Because I���m gonna be here to help you through it. When the nightmares start, and the panic attacks, and when you feel like you can’t stand under the weight of it all. I’m gonna be here. Because I do love you. And you might not be ready to forgive yourself yet. But I am.” He cups your face, swiping away your tears. 

 “You can’t.” You manage, trying to catch your breath. “Don’t you understand? If it happened once, it can happen again. I’m a liability to you, to Tony, to what you do.”

 “Bullshit. Because next time, you’re just gonna come to me and trust me to keep everyone safe. Do you even understand the amount of people at my disposal? I can call on fifty men right now to go sit on my sister’s place. And another hundred to protect your brother. And still have plenty to protect you.” His hands trail down your neck and his shoulders visibly tense. “I need to get you checked out. Then I can breathe.” He mutters, backing away and shutting your door. He walks around and climbs in next to you, taking your hand. The car starts moving and you stare at him, feeling a bit of wonder at this man. 

 “What?” He asks, a small smile on his face. 

 “You know it’s not because I didn’t trust you, right? There’s nobody I’d trust more.”

 “So, why not come to me?” He frowns. 

 “I was afraid. I was afraid for my brother, for your sister, for you. Bucky, you’ve tried to hard to shed your past, to stop all the hurt and nightmares that Hydra caused. I didn’t want to start that cycle again. You’re so good, you deserve so much. And I hate myself for what I said to you, I truly do. But I couldn’t put you in that position to be used again.”

 “Sweetheart, I would go through all of that just to have you by me again.”

 “You’re certifiable.” You mutter, turning to lean back against him. He wraps his arm around you, under your arms so he doesn’t hurt you, but otherwise remains silent. 

 ***

 There’s a knock on the med room door, and you look up from your crossword puzzle to see Bucky poke his head in. 

 “Aren’t you sick of me yet?” You sigh, setting your book and pen on the side table. 

 “Nope. So, it looks like you’re free to go.” He says happily, rocking back on his heels.

 “I am?” You ask, surprised. 

 “Yup, they said there’s no infections in your burns, and the hairline fracture in your cheekbone healed just fine.” He smiles, crossing the room. 

 You frown as reality settles over you. “Um,” you drop your gaze to your lap.

 “What is it?” He takes your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. 

 It’ll be fine. Tony has given you the best security around. Your apartment is safe. “Nothing. Just dawned on me that you won’t be right down the hall anymore.” You shrug. 

 He grins. “You love me.”

 “You’re an idiot.” You roll your eyes. 

 “True.” He lifts your hand to his mouth, kissing it and inhaling deeply. “Whenever you’re ready, I can take you home.” He promises. 

 “Right.” You let his play with your fingers for a little longer, procrastinating to the fullest extent. “How’s your sister?” You ask and he smiles. 

 “She’s good. Demanding that I bring you to dinner.” His grin widens, as his nose skims along the soft flesh of your wrist. “Threatened to disown me if I didn’t. Apparently, you made quite the impression.”

 “I’m happy to go, with or without you.” You tease and he laughs. 

 “I’m not surprised.” He kisses the back of your hand one more time before setting it on your leg. “Go get dressed, doll. I’ll be right here.” He says.

 You sigh dramatically and swing your feet over the edge of the bed. You can do this. It’ll be okay. 

 ***

 The creaking of the elevator sets your nerves on fire. You clench your jaw as the numbers climb. Only Bucky’s hand in yours keeps you from hyperventilating all together. 

 You can do this. You’re an adult. 

 Bucky unlocks your door for you, holding it open for you to step inside. You hesitate for a moment and his smile tightens. He steps inside first, walking through and opening doors. He makes quick work of checking your whole apartment before coming back to you. 

 “Clear.” He promises. 

 Your vision gets blurry, but you fight the tears, forcing yourself to step across the threshold. How can you trust this place? How can this be home ever again?

 “Let me show you the security system. I know Tony explained it, but it’s a lot to take in.” He says, wrapping you in his big arms. 

 “I’ll say.” Your forehead furrows together. 

 “He wanted you to be safe.” He turns you to the front door. “This camera allows you to see who’s outside. But, it has a camera facing inside, too. You can control that from your phone, so you can see if anyone has broken in.” He explains quietly, burying his nose in your hair. “There’s a panic button in each room. You hit that button and help is on the way.” 

 Bucky takes you through the apartment, showing you exactly how safe Tony has made it for you. And it helps... a bit. 

 But really, what you see is the kitchen chair you were tied to while people you care about were threatened. 

 However, Stark went to a lot of effort. And you know if you don’t at least give it a go, he’s going to whine and complain. 

 Bucky finished his tour back at the front door. This doesn’t feel right. You frown. 

 “Did you wanna stay? I can make dinner.” You offer hopefully. 

 “Sorry, doll. We have a mission.” He says, pulling you close. “I’ll come see you when I get back, okay?”

 You nod, heart sinking. “Stay safe.” You mumble and he gently puts his finger under your chin, tilting your face up. 

 “Can I please, pretty please, have a smile? I need to see it.” He begs and despite how hard you want to resist, you can’t. 

 The corners of your mouth tug up and ride even further in response to his own teasing smile. 

 “There she is.” He sighs happily. “I love you so much. I’ll call you later.” He kisses you slowly, pulling you closer until he breaks away, his eyes slightly unfocused. 

 “Sure you can’t stay?” You sigh. 

 He chuckles. “Positive. I can’t miss this one.” He backs up to the door, holding your hand, unwilling to let go. 

 “You’re not leaving.” You remind him, secretly happy that it’s as hard for him as it is for you.

 “I’m not? Feels like I have already.” He grins. 

 “I love you.” You mumble softly, trying to force the tears to stay in the back where they belong, at least until he leaves. 

 “Just what I needed to hear.” He smiles. 

 You roll your watery eyes and push him out into the hallway. “I don’t need Tony any angrier at me than he already is.” You stick your tongue out and shut the door in his face. Otherwise you’d never be able to let him go. 

 He knocks on the door and you press the speaker. “Go away.”

 “I miss you already.” He says.

 “Don’t make me call Sam.” 

 You can hear his answering laugh and then his footsteps retreating down the hallway.

 You can do this. You have Bucky. Everything else will get better with time, and help, and support. 

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I Never Planned On You 1

AN: Chapter 1!!! I plan for this series to go all the way to Deathly Hallows and probably a few years after in an epilogue, so I have A LOT of things planned!

Kendra Black didn’t have a conventional childhood. She was just a child when her mother was killed and her father taken away. Imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit. 

Her entire life was met with scrutiny. Being a Black didn’t come with the best reputation. A family full of pure bloods who would do anything to keep their bloodline pure. 

Kendra thought it was the old generation but her generation was kinder, more accepting. With the exception of an occasional Malfoy. 

She was sent to live with her aunt Narcissa and her cousin Draco. But the second Remus Lupin, her dad’s best friend from Hogwarts, caught wind of the news he informed Andromeda. She was quite aggressive with making sure Kendra went to a good home that wasn’t filled with her family’s blood supremacy motto. 

It was the first time Andromeda and Narcissa spoke since Andromeda was cast out of the family. 

Kendra was always meant for greatness. That’s the one thing she remembered about her father. He’d make sure to tell her that she was going to do amazing things. And blood purity wouldn’t change that. 

Her first four years at Hogwarts were filled with two things: teasing and mocking for being the daughter of a convicted killer and keeping an eye on Harry when he arrived. 

Remus made sure Kendra knew the stakes if any of the Dark Lord’s followers or sympathizers knew of Harry’s enrollment at Hogwarts. 

She often thought back to the first time she met Harry. It was the first quidditch match of the term and she could tell he was beyond terrified. She did the best to ease his nerves but she was her father’s daughter after all. 

Kendra found herself at the Leaky Cauldron the day she was set to go back to Hogwarts. She descended the staircase and noticed the Weasley’s plus Harry and Hermione. 

“Kendra Black! Wonderful to see you again my dear!” Mrs. Weasley greeted the young girl. “Hello, Mrs. Weasley.” Kendra smiled at her. “Have you got all of your things? Extra robes, all of your textbooks?” She questioned. “Yes, they’re all in my trunk. Even a few extra in case I want to get head start on lessons.” Kendra said.

“Good girl, now go get some breakfast in you! You’ll need it for the train ride.” Mrs. Weasley instructed her. 

Kendra happily obliged, knowing not to disobey Molly Weasley’s orders. She walked over to the long table and sat in between Fred and George Weasley. 

“Hello, Weasley’s. How was Egypt?” She asked. “Ask Ron, he’s been going on and on about it. Telling every bloody person he’s seen.” Fred answered. 

Kendra laughed lightly as she grabbed the paper from George’s hands and went to look at the picture. “Have you not seen the paper yet?” He asked. “No. I’ve been in America with Andromeda and Ted. I got back a couple days ago.” Kendra answered. 

“Why?” She asked. “Take a look at the front page.” Fred said. Kendra furrowed her eyebrows and flipped over the newspaper and her face fell. 

Fred and George saw the girl grow white as a sheet against her dark hair. Her father’s mugshot adorned the front page of the Daily Prophet. 

“Escaped?” She questioned out loud. “I’m sorry, Kendra. Where do you think he’ll go?” George added. “I have no idea.” She answered quietly. 

But she knew of her father’s plans. And she knew he was going to be coming to Hogwarts. 

“Let’s not worry about my father. We’re starting our fifth year, we’ve come so far!” Kendra said, quickly changing the subject. “Considering you hated us first year.” Fred commented. “I did not hate you! You just weren’t my two favorite people that’s all.” She rebutted. 

“Well, now you love us. Couldn’t survive a day without our charm.” George added. “In your dreams, Weasley.” Kendra teased. “You show up there quite often, Black.” The youngest twin teased back. 

The dynamic between Kendra and George Weasley was quite complicated. At first, it was clearly just innocent teasing but once puberty became a factor, the tone became less innocent. It became murky what the meaning and intent behind the otherwise innocent teasing was. Kendra didn’t know how George felt but to her it was very confusing. 

The rest of the Weasley clan plus their three strays, made their way to King’s Cross Station to board the Hogwarts Express. It was customary, almost tradition, for Kendra to sit with the twins and their other friends Lee Jordan and Angelina Johnson. 

Kendra didn’t have many friends but they were the small few who didn’t see her for her last name. House Black had a very grim reputation and most students couldn’t see past the rumors and its unfortunate history. 

“Kendra! I can’t believe your father escaped Azkaban! He’s the first to ever do it!” Lee commented as the five got comfortable. George nudged Lee at his comment, not wanting Kendra to feel uncomfortable. “Well, us Blacks are quite ambitious.” She said with a breathy laugh. 

“I’m sure he’s nowhere near Hogwarts. You’ve got nothing to worry about.” Angelina said, trying her best to make her friend feel at ease. But it was hard to feel at ease when Kendra knew of her father’s plans. Well at least she thought she did. She hadn’t seen her father since she was all but two years old. A lot can change in 12 years, people can change. 

Kendra was afraid she would see her father and not recognize the man. George could sense something was wrong with the girl by the way she looked out the window. Her eyes moved with the rain drops that slide down the window of the train, head clearly anywhere but with them. 

“Are you alright, Kendra?” George whispered to her. Kendra looked at the redhead but was unable to speak when the train came to a grinding halt, the lights flickering. “What was that?” Angelina asked. “Maybe it was a malfunction.” Lee answered. 

The lights went out completely and the whole compartment became increasingly cold, the windows frosting. To them, nothing was going on but the windows getting cold and the lights going out. But to Harry Potter, he experienced something else. And it wasn’t long until words made its way to the cabin of five. 

“Did you hear? Dementors were on board, Potter fainted. Apparently, they were looking for Sirius Black.” A second year told them. Kendra’s face fell before she stood. “I’ll be right back.” She announced. “Where are you going?” Fred asked. “Going to make sure Harry’s okay.” She answered, as if it were the most normal occurrence in the world. 

Kendra made her way down the narrow passage to where she knew the trio would be sat. She noticed the compartment door open and peaked her head inside. “Harry, are you alright? Word travels fast.” She questioned. 

Harry always found it quite strange that Kendra was always so worried about his well being and if he was okay. He asked her about it once and all she said was that she knew his mother and father. They were nice to her and she wanted to make sure that Harry would be out of harm's way. 

“Yes, I’m okay. Just fainted is all.” Harry answered. Kendra’s glance moved from Harry to the man sitting next to him. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. We should be arriving at Hogwarts soon.” The girl said before making her exit. 

She waited outside for a moment until Remus exited the compartment. “They think he’s coming to Hogwarts, don’t they?” She asked the man. “They have suspicion. His daughter and godson both in attendance. It wouldn’t be that far off.” Remus answered. “Do you think he will?” Kendra questioned. 

“After your mother died, you were all he had. He’ll want to see you, innocent or not. The Ministry knows that.” The man answered. “And we can’t tell Harry?” She further questioned. “Tell him what?” Remus retorted. “The truth. That my father did not kill his parents.” Kendra answered. “He already knows that I knew Lily and James, he’s going to start asking questions.” She added. “And you will say you knew them through Andromeda and Ted. We cannot shift suspicion on to you, Kendra. Your father will not want you getting hurt.” Remus said. 

“Now, I’m going to have a word with the driver. Make sure we do not stop for anymore Dementors.” He added before walking away. Kendra huffed before walking back in the opposite direction. 

“Oi, Black! Heard your lunatic, blood traitor of a father escaped prison.” A voice called. The way Kendra could describe Draco Malfoy’s voice was like nails on a chalkboard. 

And that was after his voice dropped. Living with the Malfoy’s for about a year made her hatred for youngest Malfoy grow even more. 

“What’s it to you, Malfoy? I thought we were done with the whole ‘we’re family, let’s be civil’ thing?” Kendra questioned. “Aw come on, Kendra. There’s still time to accept your family.” Draco said. “I’d rather die than be a part of a legacy filled with hatred and ignorance.” She sneered before pushing past him roughly. 

Kendra despised Draco Malfoy more than the entirety of Hogwarts. But the problem was she has also seen the way he was treated at home. Lucius Malfoy was the cause of Draco’s most loathed qualities. He was trapped in a family that didn’t see anything other than blood purity and that was ingrained in his head long before he started at Hogwarts. 

And an ideology like that was very difficult to get rid of. 

Kendra arrived back at the compartment with her friends and sat down with a huff. “Uh oh, someone does not look happy.” Fred said. “Just my usual run in with Malfoy.” Kendra said. “How you’re related to him is still a mystery to me.” Angelina said. 

“I’d say the only relation is the family tree.” Kendra added. “Thank Merlin for Andromeda Black for falling in love with a muggle born.” George joked. Kendra sent him a grateful smile, as he was always able to make her feel better after any and all rough interactions. 

The train stopped at the Hogwarts station and they quickly climbed in the carriages to make their way up to the castle. 

Kendra thought of Hogwarts as more of a home than her actual home. She of course loved Andromeda and Ted for giving her the best life given the circumstances. But she felt a sense of comfort being at Hogwarts. It was her safe place. 

All anyone could talk about, however, was the fact that Sirius Black was on the loose. She couldn’t blame them though. No one knew the truth, even Harry didn’t know so she felt she couldn't be upset with anyone.

She sat down at Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, making light conversation with her fellow housemates, as the choir gave their annual performance.

“How are you really feeling about the news of your father, Kendra?” George asked her quietly. “Honestly?” She questioned. George nodded his head with a soft smile before she answered.

“It feels strange. The staring has gotten worse but nothing I can’t handle.” She said. Their conversation was cut short by applause and Dumbledore beginning his usual start of term speech.

“Welcome! Welcome to another year at Hogwarts. Now, I’d like to say a few words before we all become too befuddled by our excellent feast. First, I’m pleased to welcome Professor R.J. Lupin who’s kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher,” Dumbledore started.

Kendra overheard Hermione and Harry discussing their own interaction with Remus in regards to the Dementor attack. She wondered why Remus really took the position. Was it to protect both her and Harry? Or just Harry?

“Our Care of Magical Creatures professor has decided to retire in order to spend more time with his remaining limbs. Fortunately, I'm delighted to announce that his place will be taken by none other than our own Rubeus Hagrid,” He continued.

Hagrid was always a favorite of Kendra’s. Mainly because he knew how it felt to get rumors spread about you that were so far from the truth.

“Finally, on a more disquieting note at the request of the Ministry of Magic, Hogwarts will, until further notice, play host to the dementors of Azkaban until such a time as Sirius Black is captured,” The older man said.

Kendra physically and noticeably stiffened at the grand announcement of her father’s escape. She felt the eyes of everyone on her, teachers included. She just wished she could apparate away and never be seen again.

“The dementors will be stationed at every entrance to the grounds. Now whilst I've been assured that their presence will not disrupt our day-to-day activities.” Dumbledore continued.

“A word of caution. Dementors are vicious creatures. They'll not distinguish between the one they hunt and the one who gets in their way. Therefore, I must warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. It is not in the nature of a dementor to be forgiving. Given the circumstances of Sirius Black’s own child here at Hogwarts, there will be no hexing or jinxing of any kind tolerated until he is apprehended. But you know, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.” He finished before the feast commenced.

Kendra could hear the whispers from not only the other houses but those of her own housemates. It made her wish that Dumbledore wouldn’t have mentioned her in the first place. She could take care of herself and she doesn’t want to be seen as weak to anyone.

“I love being the center of attention but this is not what I had in mind.” Kendra muttered. “Ignore them. Like you said this is our fifth year, we’ve come so far let’s not impede our progress now.” George told her.

Kendra smiled at him before they continued with the feast.

When they had finished their food, some having bigger portions than others, Kendra and the twins made their way back to the Gryffindor common room. Of course the Fat Lady was more concerned about her voice than letting the students in but that was common at that point. 

Kendra made it to her dorm, the one she shared with Angelina, Alicia and Katie and began unpacking her things. 

“What do we all think about the Ministry sending Dementors to school?” Alicia asked. “I think it’s a terrible idea. What are our parents going to think?” Angelina answered. “I think it’s not safe. Especially for you, Kendra. They know you’re his daughter, what if they hurt you?” Katie questioned her friend. 

“I hope they don’t. I didn’t do anything and I definitely do not know my father’s whereabouts. Though the entire school seems to think so.” Kendra answered. “We don’t think so. Your friends wouldn’t think that.” Angelina added. “I was hoping this was going to be a good term but with all of this going on, I can’t help but get the feeling something bad was going to happen.” Kendra muttered. 

Of course her friends wished they could help her but given her situation, it was very difficult to make her feel any better. 

Later that evening, Kendra was sitting next to George on the couch while Fred sat on the floor facing them. It was like any other evening with the Weasley twins despite their usual need to get into or cause trouble. 

“Kendra, Professor Dumbledore would like to have a word with you.” Percy said entering the room. “Why?” She questioned. “He didn’t say. He just told me to send for you.” Percy answered. “Oooo Kendra’s in trouble.” Fred teased. “How can I be in trouble on the first night?” She asked. “You have a knack for getting into trouble, darling. Why do you think we’re such good friends?” George added. 

Kendra rolled her eyes and exited the common room towards Dumbledore’s office. 

It wasn’t every day you were summoned to the headmaster’s office but she had no doubt it had to do with her father. 

She had only been to Dumbledore’s office once before and yet it was still just as magnificent as the last. She stepped inside carefully, not wanting to disturb any of the artifacts that were inside. 

“You wished to see me, Professor?” Kendra asked. “Ah, yes, Ms. Black. I sincerely hope you do not take what I’m about to ask personally, but do you know of your father’s whereabouts?” Dumbledore questioned. 

“With all due respect, Professor, I only found out about my father’s escape this morning. I don’t know anything about where my father is or how he escaped.” Kendra answered. “I figured as much. The Ministry has been very interested in your knowledge of his escape. I will write to the Minister and tell him there is no reason for his suspicion.” The man said. 

“Thank you, Professor.” Kendra smiled at him. “Now, get some rest. I have taken a peek at our classes this term and you will need the sleep.” He instructed. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. Goodnight, sir.” She said. “Goodnight, Ms. Black.” Dumbledore replied. 

Kendra walked down the corridor back towards the Gryffindor common room, her mind reeling with thoughts and theories. 

The Ministry thought she was behind her father’s escape? Now the teachers find her suspicious? If it wasn’t bad enough that her peers whispered about her in the halls, now so will her teachers. 

She sighed as she slowly approached the portrait and sighed. She was already fearing that this was going to be a very long year. 

[jeonggukookies]

too young || three

summary: jungkook tells you the truth about his “daughter” and the girl’s mother

word count: 3,003

genre: parent!au, single dad!jungkook fluff/angst/slow burn

one || two || three

“Jungkook, look!” Lifting your head up from your book, your eyes watched Jules drag Jungkook into your direction. You bit your lower lip to stop yourself from laughing as he and Jules stumbled onto the light blue checkered blanket. “Wow! Small world, am I right?”

“Indeed,” you joked. 

Jungkook was wearing a long-sleeve yellow button up with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His shirt was tucked into his ripped light jeans. His outfit matched Jules; she was wearing a white t-shirt with yellow checkered shorts. For the first time in forever, her hair was down. 

“Do you mind if we join you?” He asked while Jules put her hands together and gave you a begging look. He ran his left hand through his brown hair as his other hand held a large picnic basket. “If not, it’s cool.” 

You let out a small laugh and rolled your eyes at his attempt of being a cool guy who didn’t care. “I mean I suppose if I get something from the basket.”

“Yay!” Jules cheered as she sat down right away across from you. “I’m glad the three of us are having a picnic.” 

“What are you reading?” Jungkook as he sat down. He put the basket lightly in front of him and opened the lid. He gave you a teasing look. “Let me guess: E. L. James?”

“I’m sorry to disappoint.” You lifted the book from your lap to show him the cover of the book you were reading. It was a graphic novel that documented a life as a refugee escaping the Great War. He stared at your book for a while before taking out the first container out of the basket. “Not what you expected?”

“I don’t know actually.” He opened the lid of the container, revealing chocolate covered strawberries. “I mean, I don’t really know you.” 

“You will soon,” Jules whispered under her breath. She shoved a strawberry in her mouth. “Soon.” 

“What was that, kiddo?” Jungkook asked as he grabbed hand sanitizer and squeezed some onto his hands. 

“Nothing.” Jungkook then started parting Jules’s hair into three sections and began braiding her hair. “I’m eating strawberries.” 

“Who taught you how to braid?” You asked, getting a strawberry from the container. Once you tasted it, you knew you couldn’t stop; they were that good. “I feel like you can braid better than most people.” 

He laughed, and just like Jules’s laugh, it was like hearing the most precious sound ever. You just wanted to listen to it over and over again, and you would never get tired of it. “I asked Jin to teach me how to braid when Jules started living with me, but then I taught myself how to do the fancy ones.” 

Trying to hide your confused facial expression, you closed your book. Jules didn’t always lived with Jungkook, and he had moved and changed his job in order to fit around Jules’s schedule. Did that mean Jungkook and Jules’s mother were divorced? Did her mother suddenly not want her anymore?

You watched as Jungkook carefully and gently braided Jules’s hair without hurting her. “I wish I knew how to braid.” 

“You don’t know how?” Jungkook asked as he grabbed the brown hair tie from his left wrist and wrapped it around the end of Jules’s braid. Again, he put santizer onto his hands and then reached to grab a strawberry. “You never learned?” 

“I’m just really bad with my hands,” you said without thinking. 

“Oh god,” Jules mumbled as Jungkook bit his lower lip, trying not to laugh. “What does that mean?”

“That’s not what I meant.” You let out a laugh. “I just couldn’t braid, so my mom or my friends would always do it for me.” 

“Maybe one day, I’ll teach you.” Jungkook offered. Jules gave him a ‘what is this’ kind of look. You watched Jungkook nudge her, and Jules got back to eating the strawberries. “Perhaps, I’ll be the teacher, and you’ll be the student.” 

Before you could reach for another strawberry, Jungkook reached for one and handed it to you. “Thank you.”

“I’m glad you like them,” he said. “Jules and I made them.” 

“They’re delicious.” Jules smiled and patted herself on the back.  

“Do you like coming to the park to read alone?” He asked. 

“I’m fine by myself.” You shrugged. “Even if I didn’t want to be alone, I couldn’t invite someone. No one would want to come just to be with someone who’s reading.”

“I just think you haven’t found the right person for that.” Jungkook’s alluring eyes met yours. He was looking at you as if he was trying to look into your soul and understand what was going on in your head. “I know you said you were okay with being alone, but don’t you feel lonely sometimes?”

You knew that he asked with concern and wonder, not with the intent to hurt you, but somehow, it did hurt a little. You never thought too much about it, but you were amazed he could read you that easily. 

“And what makes you think that?” 

“I mean, you’re reading a book alone where someone is seeking asylum in a new foreign place, and I just had this feeling,” he explained. “Do you feel like you’re alone?”

You didn’t like depending on anybody else, but there were times where you did feel alone, even when you surrounded yourself with a bunch of people. You just distracted yourself away from that feeling by talking to other people. The feeling of loneliness eventually does go away, but it eventually did come back. It was just a cycle you had to deal with. 

“Way to go, Kook,” Jules gritted through her teeth. “You know how to make a person feel good about themselves.” 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to be nosy or anything. Or sad. I wouldn’t want that on you.” 

“I’m fine, really. I’m just thinking.” Jungkook was practically a stranger to you, yet you felt comfortable enough to share personal information with him. Your feelings towards Jungkook were changing. You knew that you started to like him and trust him. “I think that’s why I wanted to work in a school environment. I’m able to connect with a bunch of people who have different stories, so it makes me feel less lonely and alone. And I want to help them, so they don’t feel like that.” 

“Did you feel like that growing up?” He asked.

“I mean, a little.” You thought about your childhood. “I was an only child, and I didn’t have a big family. I grew up with my parents and spent a lot of time at school with some friends, so when I wasn’t with them, I did feel alone. But I knew there was always someone there.”

“I get it.” Jungkook gave you a small smile and reached your shoulder to rub your upper arm in soothing circles. His touch felt like a thousand bolts went through your system. It was like he made your senses stronger. “Thank you for being comfortable enough to share that. Especially with me.” 

He had the kind of energy where you felt like you were at home; you felt comfortable, safe and at peace. You were so used to being that type of person that you weren’t used to seeing other people like that too. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you needed that. “Thanks Jungkook. For listening. For not judging.”

“Are you always that brave?” He teased. “Like I’m glad you trust me and all, but you took a risk by telling me. What if I run away this instant and tell the whole world how you felt?”

”Ha.” You released another laugh. “My mom owns a casino, actually.”

“Oh?” He said, not getting your point. “You go to casinos, and that’s why you like taking risks?”

You rolled your eyes and playfully shoved him. “She told me to always take the chance even when I’m afraid and don’t know. She didn’t think I would want to lose what I could have had,” you explained. “I took the risk to tell you, and hopefully you don’t run away from me.” 

He smiled. “She’s smart.” 

Jules then cupped her hands around Jungkook’s ear and whispered into his ear. She was terrible at it as you heard her ask, “Jungkook, when are you going to do it then?” 

He looked at you and said, “Monday.”

___

That following Monday, you looked up from your laptop once you heard a knock on your office door. 

There, at the door, Jungkook, in a cotton candy blue long sleeve button up and white pants, had a bouquet of purple Alstroemerias in his left hand. He gave them to you, and before you could say anything, he asked if he could cook you dinner at his house on Friday night. 

You didn’t have to say anything. The smile on your face was your answer, and Jungkook knew it.

“I took the risk.”

“Are you glad?”

“Hell yeah.”

____

“Yeah, so I actually can’t cook.” You were with Jungkook at his home theatre room. You two were lying on your sides, facing each other under the big pillow and blanket fort that Jules was still setting up. Just like kids, you three were having a sleepover.

“I can tell,” you joked as you looked down at the leftover pizza on the paper plate that outside the fort. You arrived earlier than what Jungkook told you, and he tried to rush you into the theatre room. As you went into the room, you saw the pizza delivery guy come to the door with a box of pizza in his hand. You kept teasing him about it as you both ate the pizza. “It’s okay. I like it still.”

“Jules, do you want to join us?” Jungkook asked.

“I’m still setting this whole fort up, Kook!” She yelled from outside the fort, adjusting the sheets above your head. "I’m almost done! One more thing!"

“Do you guys always make forts?” You heard loud footsteps run towards the other side of the room, and the lights are turned off. Then, a switch is turned on, and you looked up to see stars through the blankets and sheets. "Fancy."

“Probably every other weekend.” You nodded. “Just to keep things interesting.”

Jules then got into the fort and laid between next to you and Jungkook. Jules then wrapped her arms around Jungkook's body. He laughed, rubbed her back and quietly sang her a soft lullaby. You couldn't help but to smile at how precious they both were.

"How's work?"

“Bearable,” he joked. "I get to see Jules in the morning and after school now, so I'm glad."

Despite the fact that Jungkook forgot to pick up his daughter, you knew he cared about her deeply. There was no way he couldn't. He took the time to learn to braid her hair, sacrificed his career and always made sure she was okay.

"Look at you being a cuddler."

“I like you a lot, ya know?” You let out a small giggle.

"I sure hope so," you teased back. “The pizza really shows.” 

“I want to get to know you better.” Jungkook began asking questions. He didn't ask you the simple things like  your favorite color, food, movie or any of small talk. He knew he could always ask those later. Instead, he asked you questions that made you think and see what kind of person you were; he really wanted to get to know you and how you see life. He asked questions like lyrics that stood out to you the most, what you thought your purpose was, your worst habit and more.

You told him that you always wanted to help kids. To you, kids were special, and you wanted them to be on the right path as they grow up and develop their own ideas. You wanted them to be in a safe environment, wanted them to learn and be happy. You thought your purpose was doing that: making others live happy and shaping their lives, so they choose the path to do something great.

Jungkook told you that he had a similar purpose. He told you that he thought his purpose was to make art with words and sounds; making music was perfect for him. He loved the idea that people turned to music in times of happiness, sadness, needing of comfort and more, and he wanted to make all kinds of music that people could turn to. It was a small thing, but he believed he could help people.

You liked that about him a lot. He wanted people to be happy, just like you did.

"Do you think your purpose changed with Jules in your life?" You asked. “Do you think it shifted towards to Jules instead of your career?”

He looked down at Jules who was peacefully sleeping in his arms. "A little. I still make music, but I still want the world's happiness for Jules. I guess it’s having multiple purposes in life."

You couldn't help but to ask him. “Why does she call you Jungkook?”

He raised his eyebrows, scrunching them together. “Because that’s my name? Is she supposed to call me Martin or something?”

You rolled your eyes causing him to smile at you. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

He took a deep breath, and his facade of being happy and a joker came off. He became serious. “Ask me what you really want to know.” 

“Why doesn’t she call you Dad?”

"Because I’m not her dad." He started stroking the back of Jules's hair. "I thought you knew that."

"What do you mean?" You tilt your head, confused. “How would I know?” 

“I just thought Jules would have told you by now, or you looked into her file at school.” He started to explain. “"When I was growing up, my family was close to Jules's mother's family. They had a daughter about four years younger than me. Her name was Sarah."

"That's Jules's mom's name?"

He nodded. “Jules looks just like her. Brown hair, hazel eyes, and the dimples.”

“Same personality too?” 

“I think she’s more like you.” He chuckled, having a small smile on his face. “Jules has a big heart, is smart and knows what she wants. For her age, she’s not afraid of anything. Sarah wasn’t quite like that. She struggled a lot in school and really was more of a follower than a leader.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Right, but I think it just led her to make the wrong choices. She partied a lot, argued with her parents and wasn’t responsible. I was like her older brother. I had to take care of her and made sure she was coming home at night, alive and breathing.”

“So what happened?”

“Sarah told me everything. Seven years ago, she told me the night before her graduation that she was pregnant.” He paused. “But she didn't know who the Dad was. It was a one night stand." 

You felt bad for Sarah already, having to raise a child at such a young age and all alone. Although Jules seem to not mind about not having a Dad, you felt bad that she never had the opportunity to meet him. She was left with a lot of questions not answers.

“I already graduated university and had my own career ahead of me.” Jungkook continued his story. "I didn’t do much, but I tried and helped Sarah here and there once Jules was born. I bought diapers, paid for babysitters and visited like once a month and on birthdays.”

“You did that even though you didn’t have to.” 

“I cared for the both of them.”

“Where is she now?” This story could go anywhere, and you weren’t prepared at all. Did she become an alcoholic and was deemed unfit to parent Jules? Did she leave Jules? Did she just give Jungkook a baby and walked away?

He took a deep breath. “A couple months before you were principal, Sarah was on her way to pick up Jules and got into an accident. Nothing could have been done to save her.”

“How did you get Jules then?” 

“Jules didn’t have any other family but her uncles, and in Sarah’s will, she entrusted me to be Jules's guardian."

"Oh, Jungkook." You knew Jungkook adored Jules, but it wasn’t the life he planned or wanted; it just happened. “I’m so sorry.”

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Y/N." He kissed the top of Jules's head and held her a little tighter. "I'm glad Jules is in my life, but there are some days where they are harder than others."

"I mean, that's still a big adjustment." Jungkook agreed with you. "You had a whole life already, and now you’re living a life you didn’t think you were going to live.”

“It wasn’t something I wanted to choose, but there was no other choice.” He sighed. “Life is crazy and works in mysterious ways.” 

“You asked me if I felt alone.” He nodded. “Do you feel like that?” 

“Sometimes when I am lost and confused,” he answered. “I have the boys, but sometimes, I don’t know what I’m doing with Jules. I feel like it would have been better for Sarah to raise her, and I wouldn’t have to be hard on her sometimes when she misbehaves.”

“You’re just doing your job,” you assured him. “She loves you and knows you love her.” 

“But on good days, I’m glad I have Jules. I know then I’m not alone.”

“But you still miss what you had before.” 

“Missing my old life won’t change anything. It’s not going to bring me back my old life or bring back Sarah. It’s better just to move on,” he said. “Besides, I’m really happy with what I have now and Jules. And I am definitely happy that I met you.”

[springmagpies]

My Uncle Reacts to AoS Season 4

So, instead of getting chores done this morning, my uncle and I finished Season 4 of Agents of Shield. Here are his reactions! Enjoy! Fair warning, it is a long post because Steve had a lot of feelings.

4x01

Before the episode: I’m guessing Coulson was like “I got too close to the situation and could no longer be impartial.” And then he passed over the title of director to May or that general guy. Talbot! That’s his name.

He’s like ghost rider is all. Holy crap he is ghost rider! I didn’t realize he was marvel.

Why’d they have to break up the band?

I am concerned about the robots.

Well, ghost rider is badass.

4x02

“You’re an engineer Mack. And a small tank.” Bwhahahahahaha, that’s so true.

The director is Talbot. Ooooh, not Talbot. Someone new.

Oh, Daisy has a picture of Lincoln. I miss him.

May is not okay. May needs a nap.

I still can’t get over Mack offering that maybe they’re just ghosts. Fitzsimmons faces were amazing.

Mace is such a politician.

4x03

*Lincoln is mentioned* Owwwwwww

I love the Phil, Mack, and Fitz team up.

Wow, Fitz is badass this episode.

Okay, so Elena is amazing. That shot with the light was awesome!

4x04

Fitzsimmons moving in together, count me in.

I see where Daisy is coming from, but not awesome that she’s using her friends and then leaving.

Come on Daisy! Come home.

Heylo? Hahahahaha

Radcliffe, I don’t think telling the android it’s okay to lie sometimes is a good idea.

What’s that face she’s giving? Oh shit, is she feeling things? Is she feeling things for Fitz. That’s not good.

I don’t trust James. *moments later* Called it.

Yes, Mack, two fire dudes just fell into fireworks.

Jemma for sure knows she’s an android.

“I prefer a classical beauty myself.” Awww, Fitz.

4x05

Oh, Fitz, a high five will not fix her being mad at you. Trust me.

“I’m sure they have it under control.” *cuts to chaos* Okay, that’s the best transition of the whole show.

Robbie, please don’t go after that guy. Just keep going please. Dammit. Why can no one just follow instructions in Shield.

Way to go Jemma! But what happened with Mace?? What did he do?

May had a heart to heart with her and she’s still leaving? Is Daisy really going to leave after all of this? She can’t, right?

Robbies uncle is going to get sucked into that book. Yeah, look at his expression. That’s not good at all is it.

Well that senator sucks.

4x06

*Mace mad at Coulson* Daaaang

Fitz is so smart. He would be a millionaire if he was an inventor or something. But he just wants to help people.

Wait, shit, Eli is bad!

*Fitz, Coulson, and Robbie disappear* Oh no!!!! Wait, that’s how the episode ends! Noooo!!

4x07

Shit, where are they.

Oh, so that’s where they are. That’s not good.

“I have to phone Simmons to tell her... I’m in another dimension.” Bwhahahahaha oh no.

That’s not Mack. Holy shit!

“Oh Mack’s the ghost rider no big deal. But you can’t hear us.” Oh my god, these lines are amazing.

The dialogue this episode is fantastic.

No!!!!! Don’t give the darkhold to Radcliffe. He’s already so morally grey!!!

Fitz is going to hit Mace

Aww, Fitzsimmons

There’s some flirtation with Phil and Melinda going on.

Have we seen who’s in that photo Mack is looking at? Hope?

Oh hey Robbie, how was hell.

Ummm, is Aida building a brain? Is she corrupted. Yep. She’s corrupted. We’ve got a corrupted android. Great.

4x08

Coulson’s comedic timing is everything.

Oof, Robbie is not having a good time.

“Oh yeah, Fitz solved that” Of course he did. He’s Fitz.

*Badass Fitzsimmons duo scene* They truly are a dynamic duo aren’t they. That shot was awesome!

*Daisy looking at Robbie’s car* well, you’ve got a sweet car.

*Mackelena finally kiss* gasps. There it is!

*Aida kills Nathanson* Oh dears.

*Reveal that May is an LMD* Wait wait wait. Holy shit. Oh shit. Damn.

4x09

Aida’s so sweet to May. And she sweetly killed Nathanson like it was nothing. Not creepy at all.

Once again Mack’s lines are amazing.

Yeah, don’t attack the android guys. Not a good idea.

“Why would you want to hurt me Leopold.” Aaaah haaaa, umm. No.

“Well, Simmons has only been kidnapped twice on this planet.” Hahahahahahaha that’s hilarious.

Smart people are stupid. That’s amazing.

*Aida freezes may* AAAH, she doesn’t even know she’s a robot!

*Radcliffe reveal* O. M. G. He’s corrupted. He played them. Asshole. Dammit he read it for just a second! No!

This is a good part of the show! I’m really enjoying this.

4x10

What the heck’s in that brief case?

And Radcliffe is now super creepy.

Poor Fitz, he doesn’t know his friend totally betrayed him.

“I did this to protect you.” Awww, Fitz. I mean, let’s not make robots, but that’s still really sweet. He just wanted to protect Simmons and everyone.

*May wakes up* Jesus, god May. She’s a badass. Imagine waking up like that! God! That’s terrifying.

“I can’t help feeling like somethings off.” Yeah, May, you aren’t real.

Mace isn’t an inhuman! Oh damn.

*Fitz analyzing Aida’s head* Uh oh Fitz.

“Is it weird that I found that attractive?” Hahahahahahahaha. Fantastic.

*Coulson back in charge* hell yeah!

*May finds out she’s an LMD* Aaaaaaah! Well, that’s an existential crisis.

4x11  

Does Radcliffe have more of them? Because he just happened to have May.

*May waking up over and over again* Feels like I’m watching The Good Place.  

*Aida breaks a glass* That’s concerning that a robot would make a mistake like that.

*Hope reveal* Oh that’s awful! Poor Mack.

Whose the other LMD?

*Radcliffe LMD reveal* Ohhhh noooo. Poor Fitz.

4x12

Hey! I was wondering where the lanyard guys were!

“You’re going all Gollumy again” bwhahahahaha that’s amazing

“I’ve lost too much already, I’m not losing you.” Awww, Phil.

*Robo Radcliffe talks about Fitz’s past* Oh my gosh, that explains so much. Oh Fitz! Screw Fitz’s dad.

How many Koenigs are there?

Awww, baby Fitz!—Maggie

I bet that’s his real mom too!—Steve

Fitz and Simmons are cute!

*Philinda kiss* Noooo! She’s a robot!

“Sorry, you weren’t meant to last” Radcliffe you ass. You evil ass.

4x13

*Agnes reveal* Eeeek, creepy. That’s who she’s based on!

Wait, is she really Australian? Damn, she does a great American accent.  

Mace really got the short end of the stick in a lot of this didn’t he.

*Shockley gets turned into an inhuman* Oooh shit.

Did they just put Shockley on the plane. The dude that blows up? Well, damn.

*Fitzsimmons realize Shockley is the bomb* Way to go dynamic duo. Now gooooo! Oh, they’re going. Simmons pushing Fitz is amazing.

Aaaaaah! Fitz! Fitz and Mace!

*Fitzsimmons hug* Awww. I know I’ve said it before but they’re cute.

Noooo! Mace! Shit they kidnapped Mace!

*Aida takes put on Agnes’s necklace* Ewwwww, creepy. Creepy creepy creepy! Aaah.

4x14

*The superior walking* He must have this ‘I’m so cool face’ on at all times.

Aww, is Radcliffe in there to be with Agnes. That’s so sad.

*Flashback with Phil and May* Aww, May is all playful. It’s before the sad times.

*Mace chained* that’s not great for your circulation.

They’re going to kill Mace. No, don’t kill Mace.

“Morales, you’re with me.” Uh oh, Morales. More redshirts with names making me nervous.

“You’ve enhanced yourself with alien technology.” Actually Fitz built his hand.

“Cool origin story, bro.” Okay, that’s incredible.

“Concern only slightly lessened.” Davis is just like ‘thanks dude.’ Fantastic.

Mack doesn’t need super powers to be a badass.

*LMD reveal* Holy shit. Holy shiiiit. They switched out all four of them??? All four??? Holy shiiiit. Fitzsimmons are all alone. Aaaahaaa.

“Even filth has a purpose.” Ewwww, and she’s leaning over him like that. So creeeeppyyy. Eewwww.

“He’s a shrink.” Oh awwww. It’s Andrew. She falls in love with him.

Well I guess Phil and Melinda’s robots can be together. Kind of weird but okay.

Oh my god, this is stressing me out!!!

‘Even filth has a purpose.” Gaaah, ewww. I’m still thinking about it.

So is Radcliffe even in control anymore? Or is he too preoccupied with the framework to care. Like, is Aida just doing whatever the heck she wants now because that’s unsettling.

4x15

Where are all of them? Oh they’re in the framework. Uh oh.

Ewwww, Aida is evil! He’s (Ivanov) alive and she’s cutting into him.

Aaah, they’ve got them surrounded. It’s so creepy.

This is some body snatchers shit.

*fitzsimmons LMD scene* *Steve biting his nails with wide eyes* oh my god that was awful.

*Steve rewinds to rewatch the LMD scene* they’re so good. And it hurt so much to see Fitz go so cold. Owwww. Because it was him and how he would act and then it just shuts off. Ugh, they’re so good.

*Jemma stabbing Fitz scene* Oh he’s thought about getting married. Oh my god, that’s so awful. So disturbing. That hurts. They’re so talented.

*Daisy LMDs* Ohhhh that’s so disturbing. This is all so disturbing. Oh my gosh.

*Daisy and Jemma scene* Awwww, they found the only other person to trust. That’s so sweet. Gosh, that was also a brilliantly acted scene.

They’re all such good actors. All of them.

God, this is all so disturbing.

*Aida kills Radcliffe* oh shit. Aaaaah. That’s so creepy.

“Because you and Fitz belong together.” Thats the truth.

“Their poor base” -Maggie

“And they just retiled the bathrooms.” -Steve

Ooh, quake jump, that’s so cool.

*Slow motion quake* That’s sooo badasssss!

*Davis flying the Zephyr* Aah, Davis. Careful. He just started training.

*LMD May blows up the base.* oooh ho.  Damn.

“Lincoln?” Oh noooo. That’s awful.

*Ward reveal* Whaaaaat?

*Coulson reveal* Whaaaaaat?

*Mack reveal* oh nooo, he’s got his daughter.

*Fitz reveal* Whaaaaaat? But, damn.

*Jemma reveal* Whaaaaaaaaat? She’s in a grave? Who’s in the car with Fitz?

*May reveal* is she an avenger? *Hydra logo appears* Waaaaait. Whaaaaaaaaat?

What the hell is going on. What the hell? What is this place. Are they all evil? Some of them evil? Mack isn’t evil right?

*Ivanov’s head* Ewwww creepy.

Whaaaat the helllll. As Fitz would say *does Fitz impression* what the hell?

Dammit why do I have to put the kids to bed!! I want to watch the next episode!! Gosh dang it.

That’s disturbing count: around 15

4x16

“Skye?” Skye??? Skye!!!

*Logo* ooooh, agents of hydra

“You’re on another planet this morning.” Yeah, she is. No shit Ward.

*Daisy looks up Lincoln* Awwww. Owwwww.

*Jemma jumps from the grave.* Lucky she was in a shallow grave.

They’re having a bad week.

Vijay isn’t real. He’s at the bottom of the ocean.

*Ward punches Vijay* wait, did he want him to stop talking? Hmmm.

*Coulson class scene* Aaaahhaa that’s not awful at all.

*May Bahrain reveal* oh shit, it changed that much! Shit.

“We’ve got him doctor” Radcliffe? *Fitz reveal*  Ooooh nooo! Noooo! Shit, noooo! Jemma died and he went all dark. Nooooo.

“It’s a magical place.” Oh damn!

“My father used to say...” Shit, does Fitz have his dad’s influence?????

*Ward double agent reveal* Ooooooh! Shiiit. That’s so interesting!!

“This isn’t the framework this is hell” Jemma’s so pissed.

“Drones, Dwarves. Whatever.” Awww, Jemma’s heart just broke right there.

Are they stuck in the framework! Well shit!

*Fitz and Aida kiss* Ewwww. I mean it makes sense in this world because of course she’s using Fitz but ewww.

She replaced Jemma with herself. That’s not creepy at all.

“Daisy?” Aaaah! He remembers!

This place is messed up! Interesting, but messed up!

4x17

“I make my own soap now.” Bwhahahahahaha. That’s amazing.

Aww, Mack has his daughter. And she’s adorable. Oh no!

Ophelia? Oooh, she’s got her own name.

“I’d cross the universe for you.” Ewwww! Noooo. He literally crossed the universe for Jemma.

*Fitz and Aida make out* *Maggie screams and Steve shivers* But why is Fitz so hot in the framework though—Maggie *Steve nods*

“The soap made me do it.” Bwhahahahaha

*Mace reveal* Aaaaah! Mace! He’s all gruff now and an inhuman! He got everything that he ever wanted.

“And we’ll make our society great again.” Ewwwwwwwhewe!

This is so interesting! I’m really liking it!

*Mack and hope get taken by Hydra* that’s so awful! That is so disturbing!

Coulson is so nerdy, I love it.

“You’re Daisy Johnson. We’re agents of shield.” Mack remembers.

*Revealed that Mack doesn’t remember* No! Shit.

*Fitz kills Agnes* *sharp intake of breath, Steve stays silent for a very long time.*

*Mack joins Shield* Good job Mack.

“How do you feel?”-Maggie.

Steve quietly: “sick.”

4x18

I love how Mace is all scruffy and his suits all scratched.

Aaah, evil Fitz makes me sad.

*Jemma seeing Mack and Hope* Yeah, it’s an oh shit moment.

“Tell your old man all about it.” *Steve gasps* Oh no.

“I don’t know the kind of man I’d be without you father.” “That’s why I’m here.” Yep, to brainwash him.

TRIP!

*Brainwash room* Oh no! It’s the other kid too! No!

MACE! Noooo! Why would Aida do that. She’s so evil.

That’s so messed up.

*May used Terrigen on Daisy* Yes. Good job May. And hopefully it’ll heal her in the process.

4x19

Ha, Bakshi has a tv show.

Aww, mace is dead. He was a good man.

*Daisy quakes Aida out a window* *Steve laughs* That took her by surprise didn’t it.

“It’s like sipping poison...” Mmm, Fox News.

“You’re the new head of hydra” Yikes.

*Ward throws remote* Umm, you guys have limited remotes!

*Steve pauses show* I don’t like any of this. It’s interesting but I hurt inside. It hurts that Fitz is evil. Mace is dead. Agnes is dead. Radcliffe is in prison. May was evil. I’m sad.

Aww, Coulson all of a sudden became that paternal leader.

Wait, so she totally used Fitz in like every way. What a jerk.

Trips the best.

Sorry Ward. She wants to feel bad for you but she can’t.

So much Scottishness this season. I love it.

*Radcliffe yells at Alistar* yep, because you’re a worthless asshole ya jerk. Oof, he just throat punched Radcliffe.

Aww, Coulson is coming into his own.

“When this is over-“ Do I get Skye! “Do I get my Skye back?” Called it!

I liked that scene with Grant. It was the redemption that the other Ward didn’t deserve but this one did. It was nice. Also really well acted.

“Hydra giving alternative facts.” Ooooh, they’re calling them out. They are so not fans of Trump and it’s amazing.

*Coulson on the news* This is Shield’s please vote! Please vote.

That was amazing.

4x20

Yeah, I hate all of this.

This all hurts.

*Fitz talks to Radcliffe* Come on Radcliffe, please don’t betray us. Please.

*Jemma kills Alistair* Well, that’s not going to help us.

“I’m sure everything is fine.” It is not. Simmons killed Fitz’s dad.

I hate this. It’s fascinating and I hate it. She’s just made him mad. God, no.

*Trip saying goodbye* Awww, this hurts. He’s goneeee in our world. Whyyyyy.

Is Aida trying to build her spine *body being built on the other side* Ohhh. Damn.

*Coulson gets shot* SHIT

*Coulson wakes up* You’re going to have to fight a killer robot, Phil.

*May wakes up* Awww she did it! She followed him!!

*Radcliffe redeems himself* Yes! Radcliffe! Yes! Thank you!

*Fitz falls through* Thank God!

Thank you Radcliffe.

*Mack not coming with* Maggie, I really don’t like this.

Oh gosh, Fitz is so freaked out. They’re all so freaked out. Aaah, Aida!

*Aida and Fitz teleport* Well that was unexpected.

I feel really ill. Like, this hurts a lot. I hurt a lot.

It’s like The Red Wedding but drawn out over 4 episodes and I hurt.

4x21

Before the episode: I came into the framework so optimistic and it crushed me. Like I thought May was an avenger and then it was like hahaha pain.

Oh yeah! And then she teleported with Fitz. JERK!

Fitz really got screwed by the framework didn’t he.

*Coulson kills Robo Ivanov with a shield* WOAHHH!!! That was amazing! ...and disturbing.

*Coulson recounts what happened with Robbie Reyes* BWHAHAHAHAHA. It sounds so ridiculous when you recount it but it’s so amazing watching it.

Will she stop teleporting Fitz! He already feels sick!

Yeaaaah, giving Fitz his abuser back and replacing the woman he loves with yourself is not what would make him happy Aida!

“If he wanted to kill us he could just flood the place. Why is he stalling.” TO FLOOD THE PLACE, PHIL!

“I drank the bottle of Haig” “you piece of—“ *Steve can’t stop laughing*

*Mack almost drowning* Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. OH SHIT.

*Fitz and Aida rescuing mack* THANK GOD.

*Jemma shoots Aida* well, yeah.

*Jemma shoots Fitz* Love ya Fitz, sorry man.

“What do we do with Fitz?” Talk to him!!

“I’m just like Ward.” Oh ho, that hurts.

“There’s only room in my heart for her.” YES! Oh shit, Aida’s not happy.

OH SHIT!

NO DAVIS! DAVIS!

*Toddler starts crying IRL over a toy* Now imagine if we gave her powers.That’s what’s happening with Aida.

*Fitzsimmons pod scene* oww

*Yoyo plugs herself into the framwork* This is a mess.

*Aida throws bottle in anger* His vodka!

*Aida and Ivanov scene* Aaah! Inhuman robot sex. Oh. Nope. Murder.

*Robbie comes back* Welcome back buddy! SHIELD shit has hit the fan.

4x22

“How do we kill Aida?” Hell chains? I’m thinking hell chains.

*Robbie waiting for Shield* Hello, back from another dimension? No way, us too!

Well Radcliffe is screwed if the framework is falling apart.

“I’ll talk to him. He’ll remember me.” No he won’t Elena. Wish he would though.

*Robo!Daisy shoots Talbot* *Steve sits with his mouth open* NO!! I mean, he could be annoying but he was a good man! And he’s been around since season 1!

“There’s a pulse.” How? Yay! But how?

“Once you say you can’t stop me. Well—“ it’s like when you say you feel safe on Survivor and then get voted off the island.

*Daisy & Robbie team up* Boom bitches!! That was super cool!

Mack’s not going to leave until Hope de-materializes. And that sucks ass.

“Robot May was much more supportive.” HA! That’s amazing.

EVERYTHING’S A MESS AND EVERYONE IS HURT AND DIE AND PAIN AND OWW AND THINGS.

Maggie: “What?”

Steve: “You heard me.”

*Aida kills LMD!Jemma* WHAT! What the hell? I feel so sick. Oh thank god she’s an LMD! But I feel ill.

Eeeewwwww the kiss Aida gave Fitz on the cheek is so disturbing.

*Jemma shoots Aida* YES! AWESOME!

*Coulson ghost rider reveal* HOLY SHIT THAT’S AMAZING! I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!

*Aida dies* Well that was awesome and terrible and poor everyone.

They really do a great job of making you feel sick don’t they.

*Mack and Hope scene*

Maggie: “you okay?”

Steve: *wipes away tear* no.

Wait, is there more to Coulson’s deal with the Ghost Rider?

“Gave me a glimpse of the life I could have here.” Oooh! Mack and Elena! She did almost die for him. They’re in love.

*Robbie having to leave* He and Daisy couldn’t like kiss before he left? No? Fine.

*Daisy speech to Fitz* someone hug him, please!

*Diner scene* Whaaaat?

We’re in space next season!!?? Whooo!!

They’re all so messed up after all of this. I feel messed up after all of this.

[futurewriter2000]

Three Words - pt. 1

A/N: I love this so much and idk why but it hits differently.

XX

Healing. You were healing as you kept stroking the long trunk of the elephant. You caressed its dry skin as he kept nuzzling it closer to you, tapping you gently on the cheeks and causing your hat to fall off. 

You laughed as you tapped his trunk and picked the hat, coming closer to him brushing your hand against his large leg. “You and me had quite the adventures, didn’t we?” you told the elephant as he let out a small sound. You hugged him with your arms that were too small to hug him whole and laid your head on it. 

“You can’t take him with you.” you heard her laugh but you only hugged him tighter. 

“Of course, I can. I’m a witch.” you continued to lay your head on him.

“And where will you put him? Backyard?” she came to his trunk as well and started to pet him. 

“Newt Scamander had his beasts in a suitcase.” you pulled away as she furrowed her eyebrows. 

“Newt who?”

“Nevermind.” you brushed your hand and walked to her, letting your arm wrap around her waist and your head lean on her shoulder. “You think he’ll be okay without us?” 

“Who? Roman?” she tapped his trunk and smiled. “He’ll be fine. It’s you I think that I think won’t be okay without him.” 

“I dealt with Remus and his act a long time ago. All I want is to stay here forever.” 

She moved from your hold and turned around, letting her hand be wrapped around your waist for now, leading you away from the elephant and walking towards home where you had plenty of unpacked bags to finish. 

“We can come back but we were away from home too long. We need to go back to our lives.” 

“Correction. You want to go back to your life. I think this is my life.”

“Taking care of animals?” she asked. “For the rest of your life?”

“They’re the only beings that make the world so innocent-” you said but she cut you off, taking you by the shoulders and looking deep into your eyes. 

“Then stay.” 

“What? I though-”

“I know what I said but if this is what you want, then stay. You’re clearly made for it.”

“I don’t know. I need to go home and figure everything out. I want to be sure that this wasn’t just a getaway- or I don’t know.” you sighed, lowering your head as she wrapped her arms around you and squeezed you. She then let go of you, leaving without a word, only a comforting look in her eyes. 

You were left alone to stand at the chilly road, looking around- looking at the tall green grass, something you could never see back home. The sight of animals that could only survive here, in the nature and not in the industrial city.

It felt like you could breathe here. Genuenly breathe and think clearly. You could think about Remus- his eyes. His dark green eyes, just like the jungle in front of you. You could remember all the gestures, the memories you had with him. Everything. Since the moment you first saw him, to the moment you first talked to him, had a long conversation, first kiss, first time, his proposal, his... his cowardly act- 

You sighed, plopping back down on the grass, your feet digging into the sand in front of you, as well as your bare hands, taking a few marbles, a few larger rocks inbetween your fingers. 

Until you could hear the footsteps that came towards you. At first you thought it was someone you knew here but when you looked up, you couldn’t recognise anybody looking like that.

It was familiar. The walk, the lean posture, the figure and it crossed your mind once or twice but why would he be here- he wouldn’t, would he?

“(y/n)?” he said as he continued to approach you, narrowing his eyes through the darkness. 

“Sirius?!” you exclaimed in shock, trying to get your thoughts in order as you stood up.

“I knew the hat was decieving me- it really is you!” He beamed, opening his arms and wrapping them around you. 

Surprised by his appereance you didn’t know what to do but wrap your arms around him as well. You haven’t seen him in a year and now he just appears out of the blue, at the same place as you. From all the places in the world, he finds you here. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked as you pulled away.

“Look at you!” he put his hands on your cheeks as his eyes scanned your whole body. “You’ve got sunburns everywhere!” He laughed, than looked closely at your nose. “It’s actually cute- it’s like a long strip over your nose- oh and your chin as well.”

“Har- har.” you laughed, punching him away slightly. “Sirius, what are you doing here?” you asked again.

“Following a lead.” he replied. “Just an Aurors job- James is usually with me but he’s taking care of Harry and all.”

“Harry?” you said perplexed, your eyebrows drawing together.

“His son.” he wiggled his eyebrows. “Parental leave and all.” 

“He’s got a son’?!” you exclaimed again, feeling your hand slap your mouth. “Oh my God! I’m so happy for him.”

“Yeah- since the whole wedding thing it was like you fell from the Earth.” he looked around, grinning. “Looks like you sort of did.” 

“Yeah. I needed to get away- get distracted.” you sat back down as he joined you.

“Are you alright?”

“Now? I’m better than I was in a year. I’m finally starting to feel like myself again, you know?” you looked at him as he continued to watch. 

“I’m glad to hear that.” was all that he said, wanting to say more which you realized immediately because Sirius Black could never be quiet for long, nor reply in such short sentances. 

“And Remus?” you asked. “How’s he doing?” 

“You really want to know?”

“You were always the one I could count on to tell me the truth. So just rip the bandage off. He has found someone, probably lives with her-”

“Umm...no.” he forced a smile and looked away. “He lives by himself, struggling to find a job and just regretting what he did.” he continued, looking back at you. “I don’t think he can live without you.” 

Shocked by his words, you turned your head away completely speechless. 

“He tried calling you, going to your place, your parents but nobody told him where you were. They said you didn’t want anybody to know.” he took a hold of your hand and brought it to himself. 

You looked at him with tears in your eyes, unaware of how it still hurt. “He left me, Sirius.” your voice shivered. “He just left me with no explenation.” 

“I know.” he brought you close to him, letting you lay on his chest as his arms wrapped around you. “I did beat the crap out of him. Went all kung fu, you know?” he started to joke and you laughed, making him smile as he heard your laugh. “I don’t know what he was thinking leaving you- you looked gorgeous in that dress.” 

You looked up into his eyes, swallowing the tears that tried to come out and smiling at him. “Well, you did help me pick it.” 

He continued to stare into your eyes so lovingly, almsot letting you know that his thoughts were a bit more dangerous right now because Merlin had he missed you. You were his best friend beside the other three and he had such fond memories of you- always. The boys were amazing all the time with him but it was you that just gave this incredible woman’s touch and perspective to his life that really mattered. 

He shook his head, chuckling and trying to get rid of any further thoughts. “I know. My taste is impeccible.” 

“It really is.” you followed his gaze into the forest. “So how did you find me?”

“I was just passing by, looking at the elephant herd at the distance when I saw a girl hugging one of them. She looked vaguely familiar with her walk and body movement.” he looked at you, his eyes traveling down your outfit. “She reminded me of you so much and I wanted to walk away because the chance of you being here was 1 to million but it was like an insitinct inside of me telling that I should be sure. So I followed you and found you- the hat is horrible by the way.” he pointed out in the end.

“Leave my hat out of this. “ you chortled and shoved his shoulder. 

“I like your hair- I never saw you with short hair.”

“It’s really hot here and just dealing with hair every day and sweating- I just wanted to chop it.” 

“So are you ever coming back?” he asked, changing the subject.

You looked at the distance again, taking some breath in as you remembered how much you could have missed in one year. James had a baby, Sirius grew a beard and Remus- well, he’s going through some troubles but until you talk to him and resolve what you’ve been avoiding for so long, you won’t be able to move on.

“Yes.” was all that you said, making Sirius smile. “I need to talk to Remus. One talk to find some closure and finally end that chapter of my life.” you finished with a stern look in your eyes as Sirius smile faded.

“So, no second chances?” he asked and you shot his head to him, disbelieving the question he just asked you.

“No. He left me at the altar, saying he’s sorry- like all those years didn’t mean anything to him. I took a year to move on from him. Hell, I’ve gone through more shitty nights crying into my pillow and asking myself what the hell is wrong with me for him to leave. I thought the worst of myself, thinking was I not enough? Talking down on myself, trying to find any reason of why he wouldn’t want to marry me up until I finally realized my worth and see that I was never the guilty one. He was and believe it or not, I am sad that he didn’t move on but at the same time I’m so happy that he knows what he had lost.” you stood up and pattend the dust of your clothes. “It was nice seeing you, Sirius but I need to pack. I’ll see you back home- I guess.” 

[lilyvandersteen]

Out of the Blue: Epilogue

Author’s Note:

Many of you asked for an epilogue, so here it finally is. Not as long or as detailed as I might have wanted and you might have expected, but words aren't coming easily to me these days. I hope this brings a smile to your face, and makes you forget the world we live in for a minute. Sending you all hugs XOXOXO Take care and stay safe!

Read at AO3 or FF.net

Epilogue

Blaine looked up from the sauce he was stirring when he heard the front door open and close. “How was your day, love?”

Kurt sighed, passing a hand over his eyes, and took his shoes and coat off sluggishly. He joined Blaine in the kitchen and hugged him from behind, kissing his neck. “Better now that I’m with you.”

“That bad, huh?”

Kurt’s head drooped onto Blaine’s shoulder. “The worst. If these two keep fighting like this over every detail, they’re going to split up before the wedding even takes place, and stiff me with all the bills.”

“You’ve already paid for stuff?”

Kurt nodded. “Deposits. For the venue. And the cake. And the caterer. And the florist. And the DJ. Ugh.”

Blaine hummed and stirred on until the sauce thickened, thinking hard. “Do you think it would be possible to use the deposits you made for another couple? That could solve the problem of them walking out on you.”

Kurt quirked his head to the side. “Well, in theory, yes, but who will I find that would be willing to marry just five weeks from now and will leave all the choices up to me?”

Blaine switched off the stove and smiled at Kurt, but before he could answer, the front door opened again.

“Hellooo lovebirds!” Cooper grinned. “I just knew I could count on one of you having made dinner. You don’t mind if I join you, do you? I’m starved!”

Blaine rolled his eyes at his brother, but took another plate from the cupboard and filled it, handing it to Cooper with cutlery.

Cooper dug in without even waiting for Kurt and Blaine to be served, and all was quiet until he finished his plate.

“Sooo what’s up with you, lovebirds? Haven’t heard much from either of you the past few weeks. Blaine’s working on the H&M deal, I know, but what’s new with you, Kurtsie?”

Kurt glared at Cooper. “Don’t call me that.”

“Ooh, I’m sensing a lot of stress. Blaine not taking care of you like he should?”

Kurt’s glare intensified. “It has nothing to do with Blaine, thank you very much. I’m stressing out over work stuff.”

“Anything I could help with?” Cooper offered.

That made Kurt thaw out slightly. “No, not really. Unless you’d be willing to marry five weeks from now?”

“Uhm, Kurt, I think you’re talking to the wrong brother. Blaine is over there.”

Cooper helpfully pointed to Blaine, who rolled his eyes again.

Kurt huffed. “I’m well aware… Oh!”

Kurt’s mouth fell open and he looked at Blaine. “Would you?”

Blaine smiled at Kurt. “I’d marry you anytime, anywhere, anyhow. I promise. I haven’t pushed you to start planning our wedding because I know how insanely busy you’ve been. But the truth is, I can’t wait to call you my husband. So if these two split up and leave you in the lurch, then yes, by all means use everything for our wedding. Absolutely.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that. You chose everything, so it’s sure to be fabulous.”

Kurt frowned. “Well, yes, it’s tasteful, but it’s not what I would have chosen for us.”

Blaine shrugged. “Let’s just get married and then we can plan a vow renewal ceremony exactly the way you envisioned it in a few years or so.”

Kurt’s brow smoothed out, and he laughed. “Mr. Problem Solver to the rescue! Thank you, sweetheart. I feel much better about this already. Only… What do we do about the invitations? If we wait until these two break up, it’s going to be short notice. If we send them out now and they don’t break up, we won’t be able to get married that day, ‘cause I’ll be overseeing their wedding.”

Just then, his phone rang. It was the bride-to-be, and her screeching was loud enough for Blaine and Cooper to hear her call her fiancé a couple of interesting swear words and call the wedding off. “I caught the bastard screwing my maid of honour behind my back! Cancel everything, you hear! And if there are bills to pay, send them to that good-for-nothing scumbag!”

There was silence for a moment after she’d rung off.

Then Cooper said chipperly, “Well, that solves the invitation problem! If I can help addressing invitations, just say the word!”

That cracked Blaine up, and before long, all three of them were laughing their heads off.

K&B

Five weeks later, Blaine held Kurt’s hands, looked deep into his eyes, and spoke from his heart as he promised to cherish Kurt forever. He choked up a little towards the end of his vows, but managed to get all the words out before he started crying.

Cooper handed him a handkerchief and whispered, “Here you go, cry-baby.”

Blaine let out a squeaky little laugh, dabbed at his eyes and turned his attention to Kurt, clasping hands with him again to listen to Kurt’s vows.

When they walked down the aisle towards their family and friends after the ceremony, Blaine couldn’t help sneaking glances at his wedding ring every few seconds and beaming. He felt the cold metal of Kurt’s rings against the palm of his hand, and his smile stretched even wider.

Burt Hummel was the first to hug the both of them, closely followed by Carole, and then Cooper clapped Kurt on the shoulder. “Welcome to the family, bro! Wait ‘till you find out what I’ve planned for your honeymoon, you’re going to LOVE it!”

Only inviting one family member to the wedding did not save Blaine from embarrassing stories. Cooper, fulfilling his duty as best man by speeching at dinner, dug up every anecdote he could think of that would make people laugh at his brother’s expense, and Blaine cringed the whole time.

Kurt loved it, though, giggling his head off, his eyes crinkling and all his teeth showing. That made Blaine smile, no matter how much he hated Cooper’s anecdotes.

The best part of the wedding, though, for Blaine, was all the guests telling them what a perfect couple they made. Every time that happened, Kurt beamed and pulled Blaine a bit closer still.

During their first dance, Kurt dipped Blaine to loud cheers, and then pulled him up again until their noses were touching. He whispered, “Happy, Mr. Hummel-Anderson?”

Blaine kissed him softly. “The happiest I’ve ever been.”

K&B

The honeymoon was everything Cooper had promised and more. They did a Jane Austen tour and a Harry Potter tour in the UK, they had a Willy Wonka themed high tea in London and visited Buckingham Palace and the Tower. On the European mainland, they went to Florence and Milan and Venice, they saw the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona and the royal palace in Lisbon.

And then, when they went to Paris, they saw a familiar face sauntering up to them while they were having tea at Angelina’s.

“Cooper!”

Cooper pretended to be very surprised. “Fancy seeing you here! I needed a bit of a break, so where better than the City of Love, if you catch my drift?”

He waggled his eyebrows, and Blaine shook his head, chuckling. “Oh please, like we’d believe that! You’re here because we’re going to Disneyland tomorrow. Admit it. You want to come along with us, don’t you?”

Cooper grinned. “Now how nice of you to invite me! Yes, I’d love to go to Disneyland with you guys!”

Kurt burst out laughing.

“I told you so, didn’t I?” Blaine sighed. “I’m surprised it took this long for Coop to show up.”

“Aww, Blainey, don’t be like that! I’ve been SO good. I gave you more than two weeks to yourselves!”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “And you couldn’t have left us in peace for one more week?”

Cooper took a chair from another table and straddled it, whining, “But I missed you guys!”

An impeccably dressed waiter came to take Cooper’s order, and didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow when Coop told him to bring, “A bit of everything. Savoury and sweet. I’m really hungry. Oh, and that amazing hot chocolate you have here. Please.”

As soon as the waiter had left, Cooper smiled widely at Kurt. “So how’s the honeymoon been so far? Did it live up to your expectations?”

“Now, really, that is….” Blaine spluttered, but Kurt put a hand on his arm.

“Relax, honey, I don’t think your brother’s asking about the sex we’ve been having. He’s asking about all the entertainment and hotels and food he’s arranged for us.”

Blaine deflated. “Oh…”

Kurt’s eyes flitted from Blaine’s sheepish face to Cooper’s horrified expression and started laughing again, so infectiously that they both joined in.

“To answer your question, Cooper,” Kurt said, stealing a fry from the platter that had just arrived for Cooper, “we’ve loved everything you’ve booked for us so far. That Bond in Motion exhibition was especially wonderful. I loved seeing all those James Bond cars – made me wish Dad was with me to geek out over them. I bought him the book, though.”

“And I loved taking the Hogwarts Express and visiting Alnwick Castle,” Blaine chimed in, taking one of Cooper’s leek and cheese tartlets.

“Hey, stop eating my stuff!” Cooper complained.

Blaine looked at the giant platter with mini quiches, croques, small servings of soup and salad, filled croissants and even truffle ravioli, dwarfing the table they were sitting at. Then he looked at the three-tier stand waiting on a table next to them holding every possible type of dessert. “Where will you put all that? If we don’t help you eat it, you’ll still be here next week.”

“True, that. Well, then, dug in!”

K&B

Much as Blaine complained about Cooper ruining their honeymoon, it WAS fun going to Disneyland with his brother.

“Just like old times, isn’t it, squirt?” Cooper grinned while racing Blaine and Kurt to Peter Plan’s Flight, his Mickey Mouse ears wobbling like mad.

By noon, they’d hit pretty much all of the Fantasyland and Tomorrowland attractions, and now Kurt and Blaine sat on a bench eating a sandwich and giggling at Cooper, who was now flirting with the actress impersonating the Disney character of Aurora. Sleeping Beauty and Cooper ended up singing “Once Upon a Dream” together, and children crowded around them eagerly, clamouring for pictures with both of them.

Cooper happily obliged, and joined Kurt and Blaine with a skip in his step.

“I got her phone number!” he whispered. “And she encouraged me to apply for a job here as a Disney prince!”

Kurt laughed. “Of course she did. You are every inch a Disney prince. Must be something in the Anderson genes, ‘cause Blaine is just as much of a prince, aren’t you, sweetie?”

Blaine beamed and kissed Kurt, murmuring softly in Kurt’s ear that he was a prince to him too.

“Okay, okay, stop with the mushiness, please,” Cooper said. “We’re here to have FUN!”

They took turns trying to get the Excalibur sword out of the stone, making quite a performance of it again, to the delight of the children present, and then went and bought fake swords in one of the souvenir shops so that they could have a sword fight.

In no time, Kurt had disarmed both Blaine and Cooper.

“Years of combat training,” he shrugged when they complimented him, but a small smile playing on his lips belied his nonchalance.

The day ended with a spectacular fireworks display, which made Cooper whoop so loudly he startled some nearby ducks.

Blaine shook his head at his brother. “You’d think he was the younger one, not me.”

“Aww, I think it’s sweet he’s still so enthusiastic about anything and everything,” Kurt said. “That’s what I like most about Cooper. He’s rich as Croesus and could be on a yacht in Monte Carlo right now, waited on hand and foot and snobbish like anything. But that’s not his style, and I’m glad it’s not. He takes delight in the smallest things in life, and in doing so, he makes everyone around him happier.”

“True.”

Blaine nestled his head against Kurt’s shoulder with a soft sigh of contentment and focused on the fireworks again. He’d take a leaf out of his brother’s book and enjoy this perfect moment.

And with Kurt, a perfect life.

THE END

[maraudererasmut]

Black and White (Part XXXIII)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV | Part XV | Part XVI | Part XVII | Part XVIII | Part XIX | Part XX | Part XXI | Part XXII | Part XXIII | Part XXIV | Part XXV | Part XXVI | Part XXVII | Part XXVIII | Part XXIX | Part XXX | Part XXXI | Part XXXII | Part XXXIII | Part XXXIV | Part XXXV* |

Remus followed his friends into Chez Bijou as James’ car was driven off by the valet out front. The restaurant was still a culture shock for the artist, but he was significantly more comfortable than the last time he was there. As they were escorted to their table, Sirius kept his hand protectively on Remus’ back, guiding him towards his seat.

Sirius pulled out Remus’ chair for him, the same way James pulled out his wife’s. Remus glanced over to Lily with a questioning look, but she simply smiled in return.

“Uh… thanks…” he mumbled to Sirius as he sat down. Sirius took the seat beside him, his eyes remaining focused on the artist. Remus felt like he was on display and he wasn’t sure if he loved the sensation or hated it.

“So!” James began, drawing the table’s attention to himself. “Sirius tells me you guys might have some news to share?”

Remus felt Sirius’ gaze on him, but he purposefully ignored it, glancing at Lily instead. Lily gave Remus an understanding nod before she answered her husband.

“Yeah! Dorcas and Marlene represent a film studio who’s looking for some paintings for a shoot. They asked Remus and I to produce three pieces each within the next two weeks!”

“That’s amazing!” James’ smile was so wide, it was almost as if he were the artist in question. “I’m so happy for you guys!”

Sirius was beaming proudly down at Remus, who couldn’t shake the sense of guilt that had settled in the pit of his stomach. The artist looked up at his boyfriend, trying to keep his face calm.

“You didn’t have anything to do with this, did you?”

Sirius raised an eyebrow at Remus.

“Would it be a problem if I did?”

Remus’ stomach churned and he felt a lump forming in the back of his throat.

“Sirius…” He began quietly, trying to keep his voice steady. “I don’t want you doing things for me just because we’re… you know…”

“Remus,” Sirius responded, loud enough for the entire table to hear. “You’re showing in my gallery. For the duration of this exhibition, I am representing you. You are one of my artists. When Dorcas and Marlene approached me and asked if I knew of any artists who fit their criteria, I recommended both you and Lily, because I felt that you were best suited for the job.”

“So… it wasn’t because of… anything else?” Remus asked, fiddling with the napkin that had been placed in his lap by a server.

“I did my job as your gallerist, Remus. It’s mutually beneficial. When you succeed in the art world, so do I. I would have done the same for any artist who I represent.”

Sirius’ statement gave Remus pause for a moment.

“How many artists do you represent?” He asked cautiously. It wasn’t a question he had thought to ask before.

Sirius responded with a shrug.

“Five or six. Why do you ask?”

“I just… it never crossed my mind that there were other artists. I just… didn’t think of that…”

Sirius let out a deep chuckle and reached for the bowl of bread in the center of the table. He casually took a bite out of a piece of focaccia before grinning at his boyfriend.

“You know, I wouldn’t be a very good gallery owner if I only ever showed two artists, Remus.”

He made a valid point. Remus glanced down at the empty plate in front of him. There was still so much he didn’t know about his boyfriend and the gallery business.

“Speaking of which…” Lily’s voice carried across the table, catching Remus’ attention. He looked up at his friend, who had her eyebrows raised. When Remus didn’t respond, she continued. “Dorcas had asked Remus and I if you were representing us, Sirius. Of course, I know that I’m signed on with you indefinitely, but as far as I know, Remus is only working with Black and White until the end of this show, right?”

“That’s true,” Sirius remarked, raising a brow. He turned to Remus, an expectant smile on his face. “What do you say, Remus? Interested in coming on as a permanent artist with us?”

Remus hesitated for a moment, remembering their conversation from the previous evening and the card that was slipped into his jacket pocket. He hadn’t mentioned his exchange with Caradoc to anyone yet. He also distinctly remembered one of Sirius’ ground rules explicitly stated that they would not let their personal lives get in the way of professional decisions.

“Well,” Remus admitted guiltily. “I was approached by someone at the show yesterday… He mentioned that his gallery would be interested in displaying some of my work, and I know Black and White requires exclusive ri—“

Remus cut himself off when he noticed the colour drain from every single face at the table. He kept his mouth shut for a moment, waiting for somebody to explain what he had done wrong, before three voices suddenly started shouting at him at once.

"Someone approached you at the show, Rem—"

"-- plan to sign on with another gallery?"

"--was their name? Was it Na— "

"--can't possibly think they're better than Si— "

"--fter everything we've been through you sti—"

"--bably another Black from the sounds of—"

"Stop!"

Remus thumped his fist on the table, directing everyone's attention towards himself. He glared firmly at his group of friends, making sure to make eye contact with each of them.

"For Christ's sake, I can't understand you when you all talk at once! One at a time! Jesus!" Remus turned to his left and looked at Lily. "You first."

Lily looked taken-aback. She blinked in surprise before gathering herself and starting.

"As one of Sirius' artists, I can honestly say, I don't think you'll find better representation in the city. I really mean that, Remus…"

Remus nodded at his friend.

"Understood. James? What were you saying?" Remus turned to look expectantly at the man across the table from him.

"Oh… uh… just that…" In all the time that Remus had known the man, he had never seen James at a loss for words before. "Who was it who approached you? Because if it was another member of the Black family—"

"His name was Caradoc Dearborn."

James furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Who's that?"

"Tall, dark and handsome? He has blonde hair? Anyway, this is his card."

Remus pulled the card out of his pants pocket and handed it to James, who was studying it so hard, he seemed to be trying to memorize it.

"You… brought it with you?"

Remus heard Sirius' voice to the right of him, but refused to look at the gallery owner. Why did he feel so guilty? Wasn't this something that he and Sirius had discussed?

Remus shrugged, trying to pretend he couldn't hear the hurt in Sirius' voice.

"I figured it would be easier to ask about him if I had the card with me," Remus lied. The artist was never particularly good at lying, but he was afraid the truth would make Sirius feel worse; Remus had brought the card with him because he was considering checking out the other gallery that day, just to see what it was like.

"...Do I get to voice my objections now?"

Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them and turning to Sirius.

"Yes. Go ahead, Sirius."

"After everything that's happened… after these past few weeks, you accept the business card of a stranger at the gallery show that I put on for you?"

Sirius' eyes were clouded with anger, but Remus could tell that he was trying to keep it at bay.

"I didn't accept his card. He put it into my pocket. I just… I figured there was no harm in bringing it up with you guys." Remus glanced around the table at the faces of his friends. "Clearly I was wrong."

Remus watched as Sirius' face darkened, his jaw hardening. He noticed Sirius tilt his chin up, the thin line of his mouth tightening. Remus knew what was coming before the words even left the gallery owner's mouth.

"If you want to switch to another gallery, go ahead." Sirius said, a tinge of malice in his voice. "It's fine by me."

Remus rolled his eyes and let out a sigh.

"That's not what I said, Sirius, and you know it." The artist was beginning to tire of Sirius' games and the way he resorted to juvenile passive aggression. On the bright side, at least Sirius' behaviour was predictable.

"You're sitting here, the day after your opening night, with someone else's business card in our hand," Sirius growled, his fists tightening. "Is there another way that I should be interpreting this?"

"Sirius…" James began in a warning voice, but he was met with a glare from the gallery owner.

"Fuck off, James," he spat, before turning on Remus again. "I can't believe this, Remus. I thought you were better than that."

Remus straightened his posture and steeled his expression.

"Sirius, you said not to make any business decisions based on personal feelings. But more importantly, I haven't done anything yet. I told you about someone who gave me a card. Stop being a jealous prick."

Sirius was about to retort when the waiter came by to take their orders. Sirius closed his mouth and glued a fake smile to his face while he told the server what kind of steak he would like. Remus hated the way Sirius could turn his charm on and off; not only was it frustrating, but it made reading his boyfriend nearly impossible at times.

After the table had ordered their food and wine was poured, the conversation recommenced, albeit in hushed voices.

"Sirius," Lily chimed in after James and Sirius had a whispered row. "I think Remus just wanted to be open and honest with you, letting you know exactly what happened. You shouldn't fault him for that."

Sirius turned on Lily.

"Really? Is that why he brought up the fact that business decisions were separate from personal matters?"

"Stop it, Sirius!" Remus' voice was louder than he intended, but the desired effect was achieved. All three friends looked at the artist with mild surprise. "You said you would work on handling things more maturely! You're acting like a spoiled brat, Sirius. This is a terrible way to start a relationship."

Sirius' face went through several changes upon hearing Remus' words. He looked shocked, upset, dismayed, until he finally settled on a dejected pout. Remus felt a slight twinge of remorse for being so careless with his phrasing, but he knew Sirius needed to hear it.

The food arrived just in time to help ease the tension, but conversation was few and far between as the four friends sat and ate their meals. By the time everyone was finished, the heaviness that hung in the air was stifling, the tension palpable.

All four of them filed into James' car in silence, and Remus and Sirius faced opposite windows in the back seat, purposefully keeping their knees from touching. The ride back to Black and White was the most uncomfortable car ride that Remus had ever endured.