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whisker-biscuit · 2 years ago

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The Lines We Cross: Chapter 24

The Thievius Raccoonus

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It must be difficult to be caught between their rules and mine. Their rules offer a confusing tangle of morality, whereas mine are so.

Very.

Simple.

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“I suppose I should begin by asking how much you know.”

Jing said the words carefully, studying the woman in front of her and trying desperately to find reasons to trust her – or to not. She had said she wanted to help Sly, but the panda had learned the hard lesson that what one wanted to do and what one was able to do were two very different things. It was just a single night ago that her own father’s confession and revelations had reaffirmed that lesson, and her heart ached as she remembered the way he had begged her forgiveness for failing both of them.

She shook her head with a pursing of her lips. This was no time to be distracted by any of that; not when there was someone here who could still be a threat to her family.

“I know that Sly had been working with – for the Fiendish Five before I met him.” The slip of the stranger’s tongue had been corrected without Jing even having to glare at her for it. The panda hoped it was a good sign. “I know that there’s something he’s stealing from each of them. Something they took from him…I think?”

Jing waited a moment longer, seeing how the inspector seemed to be collecting her thoughts. Sure enough, she continued with a pinched brow.

“And…I know now that they were the ones who murdered his parents, and then kidnapped him afterwards. I hadn’t been certain of that until what you just told me.”

“All of those things are correct,” the younger girl said, slow and thoughtful while she determined how to explain a lifetime of hurt within a short window of time. “And that was everything I knew, nothing more, until very recently as well. But there is so much more to this story, and I am still uncertain to tell you the rest.”

Inspector Fox gave her a sharp, upset look. “I already told you I need to know if I’m going to help both of you. Do you still think I’m lying?”

“No. Your conviction convinced me. It is just…” Her eyes drifted towards the dusty dresser, to the other picture frames which also contained cherished snapshots of her time with Sly. “It is not really my story to tell. I am trying to reassure myself that I am not betraying my brother by sharing these things with someone without his permission.”

So much had already been done without his consent by so many people. She hated the idea that she would be another, but she saw no other way to help him. If this woman was truly able to do what she claimed, then it was more than Jing had ever done.

She took a deep breath and then took the plunge.

“The Fiendish Five invaded Sly’s home and killed his family eleven years ago, and decided to let him live because they believed his skills as a Cooper would be useful when he was older.” She watched the fox shift her weight across from her, no doubt as to prepare herself for what they both knew was going to be a long and terrible story. “There were two other things that the Fiendish Five stole that night – the Cooper cane, and a special book called the Thievius Raccoonus.

“According to my father, the Thievius Raccoonus is a book containing notes from many people in the Cooper bloodline. It was passed on to each new generation to teach them the ways of thieving. He told me that the Fiendish Five used the knowledge they had gained from that book to great effect even in the modern age. It was split into five equal sections for each member of the group to use as they saw fit when working separately. The Cooper cane was kept in this stronghold, and they gave it back to Sly when he began officially working for them. The book, he was not allowed to see in any capacity, and they taunted him with that fact quite frequently.”

Jing stopped. Inhaled again, deep and slow, and continued.

“My father brought him to live with us so that he could grow up relatively safely until he was old enough to work for the Fiendish Five. He was with us for five years, primarily as my personal servant and playmate. I am amazed, now, that Sly did not harbor hatred for me as he did my father and the others who irreparably altered the course of his life. I do not know if it was because I was so young, or because he had no one else, or for a different reason, but he decided to trust me. We learned to love each other as we grew together – first as friends, then as siblings. But in all that time, he only mentioned the book and the cane once to me, and did not seem interested in them compared to his bigger goal of escaping the fate that loomed ahead of him.”

Inspector Fox frowned, a question clearly on the tip of her tongue, but she remained silent. It was a small relief, because Jing was starting to realize that if she stopped talking, she might not be able to start again. Already, her hands were beginning to tremble as bittersweet memories rose with her recounting.

“When he finally found the courage to tell me about the monstrosities that had been committed against him, I did not believe him at first. I knew he was working for us against his will, but I thought he was telling falsehoods because he was so angry at his own circumstances and wanted someone to blame. I could not imagine my own father partaking in such horrors. We had a terrible falling out and did not speak to each other for quite some time. I imagine I still would have remained stubbornly ignorant if not for what happened after that, on the anniversary of his arrival to this place.”

Jing paused again, not to find words that evaded her but to stop her body from betraying her with a shudder. It had been years since she had seen her father’s cohorts in person, but even the memories were strong enough to flood her heart with fear and fury.

“I suppose I should explain a few things about my father, first,” she said when at last she continued. “For most of my life, he would spend long periods of time away on ‘business’, as he called it. Sometimes it would be weeks, sometimes it would be months, but never more than a few consecutively. He was always very careful to leave me in the dark about the nature of it, and he never brought strangers here. When Sly came to live with us, my father stayed home for that entire first year, and I was overjoyed. I know now that it was to ensure that Sly wouldn’t hurt me or find a way to leave, but I was too young to understand or even care about the reasons behind his extended stay. Then, at the end of that cycle, he informed me that he would be entertaining guests for a weekend and that I was not to leave my room the entire time.

“You see, the Fiendish Five would meet once a year as a single group to exchange information and discuss business, among other things. The locations they chose always alternated between one of their personal hideouts; I do not know if my father’s stronghold was one of them before I was born, but I know that he refused to let them visit afterwards. I also do not know what reasons he gave them to refuse his home. Most of them did not know of my existence for many years, except for their leader.”

She bit her lip. Clasped her shaking fingers together in an attempt to calm them. Did not look up to meet Inspector Fox’s intense gaze.

“After Sly joined us, those annual meetings always took place here. I was ordered to shut myself in my room and never show my face until I was told my father’s ‘guests’ had left. Sly…was not given the same luxury. He was forced to join them for every meeting during that timeframe, acting as their only waitstaff. I do not know if the intent of this was to ensure his obedience or to slowly integrate him into the world that they were planning to force him into, but he was always stressed and distant for weeks after they had all left. He refused to speak of what went on except to reiterate that they were the ones responsible for his parents’ deaths, and that he was afraid they would finally decide for him to face the same fate. Sheltered as I was, I still could not wrap my mind around the belief that my father had anything to do with such things, but the change in routine and Sly’s behavior made my unease grow with every passing year.

“I desperately wanted to believe in my father’s innocence, but I also desperately wanted to help my dearest friend. I began looking for ways to help Sly escape as we grew older. I naively thought that if he left, he would be able to build his own life away from those wicked people, that things here would return to the ‘normal’ that I had known before, and I would not have to face any uncomfortable truths about my father. We started planning together; he taught me how to be quieter when I moved, as well as…other tricks, and I in turn used that knowledge to further our plans. I visited places he could not, learned the schedules of staff and guards alike, and searched for the easiest, safest path for him to get out. I asked my aunt to take me outside as much as possible, and I committed the layout of this entire place to memory.”

Jing closed her eyes.

“There was always one roadblock that we faced no matter what we tried, however, and it was that my father always had eyes on Sly. When he was home, it was his own eyes, and when he was out on business, it was those of his security which was always doubled for as long as he was away. We could never find a safe time for Sly to sneak out without bringing attention to himself – except for that single weekend every year when the Fiendish Five came to call. Security was lax because my father did not want to imply that he distrusted them, and he himself was too busy with them to watch Sly. It always seemed too dangerous for us to try at such a time, however, because of these powerful people present. The leader, in particular, was one who Sly was terrified of crossing. So, we planned and bided our time, hoping to find a different opening.”

She opened her eyes and finally looked at Inspector Fox again. Her voice was steady with resignation to tell the truth to its very end, as her father had a night and an eternity past.

“The choice was made for us anyway, six years ago, on one of the annual visits. And the fact that it failed was all my fault.”

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The Panda King opened the door of his daughter’s room to what had now become a standard sight – Sly Cooper, son of his former enemy, curled against Jing’s side under the strange shelter they had made out of spare sheets and blankets. He blinked, taking in the sight of bedding messily draped over furniture that turned the entire room into a mismatched tent, before turning his attention to the two children who had disappeared from sight of the door as soon as it had opened.

“No one is home today!” His daughter called, gentle even in her scolding. “Come back another day!”

“An exception will have to be made today,” he said, squatting in front of the entrance of the fort to peer inside. “You know why I am here. I cannot leave this room by myself.”

Both raccoon and panda huddled further away from him; the latter did the best she could to shield the former from his sight. She was nearly Cooper’s size, now, King noticed wistfully. Within the year she would be taller and then someday perhaps catch up even to her father. So much time and growth slipping out of his reach like sand between his fingers.

“Please do not make things harder than they need to be, children,” he chided softly. He waited without reaching inwards, knowing that patience was the best course to take at times like this. Forcing Sly Cooper out against his will often made him cagey and flighty, which put King in a bad mood to have to deal with; neither of which they could afford tonight.

His daughter looked crestfallen as her friend slowly uncurled himself from behind her and began to crawl out into the open side of the room. The child’s bushy tail was flicking in agitation as he got to his feet in front of King, betraying the blank expression already sliding into place on his face.

“It will be a short meeting tonight,” the fireworks master promised both of them, placing a heavy hand on Cooper’s shoulder as he began to lead him out into the hall. “My guests arrived later than expected today, and plan to retire early. You will be able to return soon.”

The raccoon didn’t say anything. He simply threw a glance over his shoulder at Jing before the door slid closed to separate them, then shuffled along obediently when King prompted him forward. There were no more words exchanged as they walked – a tentative acknowledgement of each other had formed between them over mutual love of Jing, but the crime lord knew that some wounds scarred too deep for real reconciliation. Sly Cooper no longer looked at him with hatred whenever they interacted. Just wariness and tired resignation.

That did not extend to the rest of the Fiendish Five.

They were all waiting in the large conference room that King had long ago built for this exact purpose, and barely spared the panda or his young partner a glance before returning to their food and hushed conversations with each other. Mz. Ruby and Sir Raleigh seemed to be having a quiet argument about the logistics of their next heist, Muggshot was spearing chicken on the ends of his chopsticks between great gulps of alcohol, and Clockwerk watched it all from his place at the head of the long table without engaging in either meal or speech.

The Panda King gave the boy a nudge towards the large food cart that had been placed against one wall, waiting until he was situated beside it with a drink pitcher in hand before taking his own place at the owl’s right side. He was very careful to stop paying any attention to the young Cooper and instead tuned into his cohorts’ heated debate.

“We don’t have that kind of reach,” Raleigh hissed at Ruby across the table. His tongue slipped out of his mouth in irritation, more reminiscent of a reptile than the amphibian he was. “If I wanted to become a shipping baron, I would have learned trains instead of ships. This idea is asinine.”

“You just ain’t thinking big enough,” the alligator shot back, picking up pieces of her meal and swallowing them whole without a single press of her jaw. “Ships have plenty of reach. We can easily form an agreement with the folks that have land on lockdown. Twice as much power with a simple business venture!”

“Dealing in spice is beneath us! I am not stooping to the level of such low-brow, brain-dead scum that are just as often doped up on their own product as they are selling it!”

“I dunno, it sounds like a pretty good deal ta me,” Muggshot finally chimed in. King watched a bead of alcohol slide down his chin and drip onto his plate with a single pull of his mouth. “What’s not to like about more money and more power and all that? I ain’t above anything that gives us more of that.”

Raleigh snapped his fingers and held his empty wine glass out to the side. Sly was there in an instant to refill it, and the frog sipped at it again without even glancing in his direction. “Of course, you would think that we should do it. Trust a dog to chase the next easy target like he chases his own tail.”

“Say that again and it’ll be your legs on my plate next!”

King looked over at Clockwerk, who was idly tapping his foot against the floor in thought as he considered the points being made on either side. Whatever the leader’s opinion was, he kept it to himself, leaving the rest of the group to squabble without coming to an immediate resolution. Eventually, the idea was shelved for tomorrow’s fuller discussion, and everyone turned their full attention to their meals. It was clear they all were tired from travel and this evening meeting was only a formality until they could retire for the night.

Out of the corner of his eye, the fireworks master watched Sly Cooper stand silently against the wall as far away from the table and its inhabitants as possible. The stress around the edges of his mask betrayed his carefully-neutral posture every time one of the Five snapped for him to refill their drinks, or clean a spill, or retrieve more food from the cart. It was a yearly routine that he had learned to form himself into, and King resolved to himself to ask the head chef to make the kit’s favorite food in the morning as a subtle recognition of his obedience.

Of course, it was at that exact moment that the routine was disrupted and everything subsequently fell apart.

Clockwerk, who always kept his eyes trained on Sly for as long as the boy was present, had never called him over. Not once in the five years that they had done this annual performance had he ever addressed the raccoon in any way, shape or form except to stare at him with that cold gaze that he had only ever reserved for Conner Cooper. Tonight had been shaping up to be that way as well, right up until the owl suddenly lifted a claw and crooked it towards the child.

All activity stopped. No one uttered a word nor continued to eat as they watched their leader command the boy to approach him without a sound. Sly’s fur puffed up within a single blink, but he didn’t dare disobey. Slowly, he began to shuffle forwards towards the owl, still silent even in his terror.

When they were about a meter apart, Clockwerk turned his talon around in a gesture to stop, and the kit froze. With a calculating tilt of his head, the ancient bird leaned forward until he was so close to the trembling child that one wayward movement from either one would make them touch. The raised claw lifted Sly’s head by his chin.

“He has grown more than usual since last we were here.”

The Panda King removed all traces of emotion from his entire being. It was never a good omen when the owl spoke without outside prompt. “He is thirteen now, as of this morning.”

Clockwerk let out a low, metallic hum. The raccoon remained deathly still under the touch of that talon.

“Damn. Has it really been that long already?” Muggshot asked, really looking the young Cooper over for the first time in the entire meeting. “Dunno how you could tell, boss. He still looks like a scrawny little runt ta me.”

“Everyone looks like a runt next to you, Tony,” Mz. Ruby said, watching the interaction between Clockwerk and Cooper as raptly as King was. It was impossible to read her, as always. “But Clockwerk is right; our little kit has definitely had a growth spurt or two. He hit puberty yet, King?”

“He is in the process, yes.” The panda did not like the sudden gleam in their leader’s eyes. Neither did Sly, who was starting to tremble under the weight of it. “…But I can assure you that he is not ready to join us just yet.”

Four heads turned to look at him, Sly included. Even Clockwerk tilted his gaze sideways towards his right-hand. The question burning in that gaze felt more like a challenge than anything else.

Convince me that he’s not ready, it said. Give me your best excuse, and we shall see if I find it good enough.

“It is true that he is growing faster than usual, but that growth has come at a price.” King’s words were slow and steady, and he was careful to keep his eyes on the ancient bird and no one else. “He has been clumsier as he has struggled to coordinate his longer limbs. Last week he dropped a stack of plates and shattered most of them.”

That was only half true – plates had indeed been shattered, but it had been from a cook’s carelessness as she ran into the boy. In fact, if Cooper hadn’t been the one holding them, they would have lost the entire stack. He had caught many before they could hit the ground.

The only person here who could call out his lie appeared to be wishing he could turn invisible instead. The raccoon’s eyes were squeezed shut; head tilted almost up to the ceiling by the claw at his neck.

“Once Cooper has adjusted to the changes in his body, he will be ready,” King promised. He hesitated only a moment before pushing his luck. “I am certain that will be the case by our rendezvous next year.”

Clockwerk narrowed his eyes, and for several agonizing seconds, it seemed as though he could see through the panda’s indifferent façade straight into his heart. Just when King feared that he would be called out for his weakness, the bird removed his talon from under Sly’s chin and returned to his previous posture at the head of the table.

“Very well. I trust your judgement in this matter, King. If you believe Cooper is not yet ready, then we will wait.” Those burning yellow eyes turned back to the boy who appeared afraid to retreat. “But no more than a year. We do not want him to think he does not have a debt to repay for the courtesy of sparing his life.”

His giant wings nestled in closer to his body, a sign of relaxation, and the raccoon took it as a safe dismissal to finally back away to the wall. His fur was still standing on end down to his tail and he was clearly struggling to maintain his blank expression in the aftermath of the heart-stopping scrutiny. The Panda King turned back to his food, as did everyone else after a few more beats of silence.

They all retired soon after that. He did not dare give Sly Cooper a single glance for the rest of that time.

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Jing looked up at the knock on her door, right before a servant slid it open and gently pushed Sly back into her room. He stumbled forward with an unsteadiness she had never seen before, his face pale under his fur and his hands gripping his elbows so tightly that she was afraid he was hurting himself.

“Sly?” She stood up and rushed over to him, terrified that he had finally been harmed by those scary strangers like he had always feared. “What is wrong? Are you injured?”

When she touched his shoulders, he flinched as if hit and gave a sharp, shaky inhale. “No. I’m okay. I’m okay.”

The trembling of his body under her fingers said otherwise. Carefully, the panda led him over to their blanket fort and steadied him as he slowly sank to his knees to enter it. He was still hunched in on himself and she wondered if there was an injury there.

“Please don’t lie, xiǎo gē,” she pleaded, starting to gently pull his arms out so she could make sure he wasn’t hiding anything he shouldn’t be. “I want to help you, but I cannot do that if you lie.”

The raccoon grimaced, eyes squeezing shut for a long moment. When he finally opened them again to look at her, his shoulders drooped in resignation.

“I’m not hurt, I promise. But you can’t help me with this, Jing. It’s – they’re going to – I’m running out of time.”

She frowned, not understanding his meaning. Sly’s grimace grew deeper and he looked down at the bedding beneath them.

“They’re starting to talk about taking me away,” he murmured. “They think I’ll be old enough to join them. To…work for them. Your dad convinced them to wait a little longer, but it’s…it’s still going to happen soon. Within the year, they said.”

Jing’s breath hitched in her throat. “That is…why would they do such a thing? You do not like them, and they do not like you. I don’t understand.”

“It doesn’t matter that they don’t like me. They think I owe them for letting me live.” The raccoon wrapped his arms around his knees and drew them up to his chest. “They’re going to make me do horrible things for them, and if I refuse, or I mess up, then they’ll just – they’ll –”

He swallowed. She did not ask for clarification.

“I don’t know what to do.” His confession came out as a whisper as he buried his face into his knees. “There’s no way for me to escape this place, no matter how much we try. They’re going to take me away. I’ll be trapped like this until I die.”

The panda felt tears welling up in her eyes and blinked them away before they could fall. Crying wouldn’t help her friend when he was already in despair. She wracked her mind, desperately trying to think of how to help him in the face of such a terrible fate.

A plan came – one that they had always considered impossible, but now seemed like his only option.

“…Not if you leave tonight,” she whispered back, as if afraid that saying it out loud would bring her father to the door. “We could do it tonight.”

Sly lifted his head to stare at her, looking shocked by the very idea. There were stains on his cheek fur. “I thought – that’s too dangerous, Jing. For both of us. We can’t risk –”

“It is very dangerous,” the girl admitted, “but what other choice do we have? It is the only time that my father lets his guard down, but if we wait until next year, it is very likely they will simply come and take you immediately. They will expect you to run in your last few days here, but not right now. And – and I am willing to take the risk for you, Sly.”

He swallowed, seemingly torn by her reason versus his terror of being caught escaping with all of the scary guests visiting. Eventually, the realization that his fate would be unchangeable within a year if he did not take the leap now finally won out, because he gave a shaky nod. She did not smile as they crawled out of their fort together, for there was no reason to; this was not a victory until he had gotten away forever.

The raccoon stood behind her as she carefully opened her door and peeked her head out. A staff member was waiting at attention, as she knew would be the case. Someone was always there to retrieve things for her during these times to ensure she had no reason to leave the safety of her room.

“Excuse me?” She asked him in a timid voice, making her eyes big and pleading like what she knew worked with her father. “Can you please find me something to eat?”

The servant nodded and walked off, leaving the hall blessedly empty. Jing felt Sly wriggle forward under her arm to listen for the man’s retreating footsteps and anyone who might be incoming. When he confirmed it was safe, they both crept out and tiptoed off.

At every corner they came across, they would both stop short of it so that the raccoon could make sure there was no one ahead. They made slow but steady progress this way – waiting out distant sound, hiding wherever they could to avoid approaching staff, and keeping their senses sharp for signs of the Panda King’s guests.

The entrance at the base of the fortress was the only official way in and out, and it was always watched over carefully by a dozen armed men. With the Fiendish Five present, however, that number had been dropped to four. All were still alert and attentive, which would normally make slipping through impossible.

But Jing had another ace up her sleeve; one she had discovered just a few short weeks ago on one of her outings. A series of vents ran through the entire statue to heat it during the coldest months. Most were only connected to two or three rooms at most, and did not have an external exit. There was a single place, however, that did do such a thing – she had watched a group of guards standing under it as they smoked, letting the smog drift up and through the small opening to the outside. It was small and very high up, and Jing didn’t know exactly where it led out, but it was the only option they had.

All four men were standing just inside the entrance and staring outwards. No one thought to look behind them, because there was no reason to. Even so, the panda was as careful as she could be with every step she took, following Sly’s exact path as he crept to the single vent that would be his way out.

When they reached the wall it sat in, they shared a glance and came to the same conclusion. Jing was still a little shorter than the raccoon, but she had filled out considerably in other ways and could easily carry him. She did so now, helping him scramble up her back and onto her shoulders where he stretched his arms in an effort to grab the vent’s grating. It wasn’t quite enough; he was still a few centimeters short.

Gingerly, hyper-aware of the guards right around the corner, the panda grabbed Sly’s ankles and began to lift him higher. He wobbled at first, which made her wobble, which nearly toppled them, but then he found his balance and corrected himself before disaster struck. His fingers found the vent and he pulled out the makeshift lockpicks he had created out of a few of her hairpins, starting to pick at each individual screw in the grating.

All too soon and yet an eternity later, he was able to remove the cover and carefully opened it. With a single glance downward to give her warning, the raccoon crouched and jumped out of her hold and into the vent. His lower body wriggled wildly as he fought to pull himself inside the rest of the way. The entire time, Jing wrung her hands and listened for oncoming footsteps, terrified that they had made too much noise and would be found out.

But no one came, and Sly made it into the vent. She watched as he turned around to close the cover behind him – impossibly small in an already small space – and gave a shaky smile when he pressed his palm against the grate in a silent goodbye. He disappeared out of sight, completely silent as he headed towards the outside.

And that was that.

Jing headed back the way she’d came, trying to be mindful of every trick Sly had used to sense others and avoid detection. The elation that she’d just helped her best friend escape his prison was overwhelming. It overrode all the other messy emotions she was still avoiding about her father and the entire situation, and she couldn’t help beaming with pride at what she had just accomplished.

She was just turning into the hall where her room was when a different kind of thought occurred to her.

When her father and his guests realized that Sly was gone – hopefully not until tomorrow, when he’d have plenty of time to run away – they would be searching everywhere for him. Her father would be furious with her if he learned that she had helped, and he would probably not let her outside again for weeks after the guests left. Going outside was her favorite thing in the world; she couldn’t bear the idea of losing her best friend for probably forever and then immediately being trapped in the fortress until her father’s wrath finally subsided.

Everyone was supposed to be asleep by now. Surely it wouldn’t hurt to visit one of the big windows before she returned to her room. One last glimpse of the mountain before she was in trouble for the rest of her life.

Mind made up, Jing turned the opposite corner and headed instead for the observatory at the top of the statue. It didn’t take very long to get there as she found she didn’t have to avoid anyone the entire time; these halls were strangely empty of both guards and staff, even for this time of night. Instead of unnerving her, however, it only made her certain that fate was smiling down on her and wanted her to reach her destination.

When she finally crept into one of the two rooms that made up the observatory, the panda ran straight for the giant windows at the other end, where she pressed her nose up against the cold glass so that she could stare down at her father’s territory. It was always active down there no matter the hour, and she could see tiny people moving under the glow of spotlights. It was like watching ants, and the thought made her giggle.

A sudden, strange feeling went down the back of her neck. A foreboding sense of danger, as though she were being watched, and Jing turned around with her heart pounding in her chest; afraid that her father had caught her where she was not supposed to be. When she looked, though, there was nothing in the doorway, and no one else in the shadowed room.

Still feeling uneasy, she slowly looked back out the window, past the lights and buildings to the dark mountain beyond. She couldn’t see Sly from here no matter how hard she squinted, which she supposed was the point. He needed to be very sneaky indeed if he was going to escape. She wondered if he had made it past the outer wall to the trees yet.

It hit her, then, that she would probably never see him again. He would run away and never come back, and he’d finally be able to live his own life, but that meant he would no longer be in hers. Tears grew in her eyes and fought to fall past her eyelashes. She kept them trapped because she was supposed to be mature, and to cry over someone leaving would be incredibly selfish.

“Oh, Sly,” she whispered, leaning her cheek against the window, “I hope you’re safe out there.”

“I believe we both share that sentiment.”

Jing gasped and whirled around as a great shadow fell over her from above. She looked up, and up, and up, until her eyes met those of a burning, terrible yellow. The person – no, the thing – standing in front of her was so tall that its head nearly brushed the high ceiling. Its body looked like nothing she’d ever seen before, all metal and shiny and so, so big. She shrank back, pressed to the glass, and had never felt so small in her life.

The thing tilted its head. “You are Jing King.”

“I…” the girl swallowed. “How – how d-do you know that?”

“I know many things. Despite what your father may think, his home is not as secure as it could be. I have known about you for quite a few years.” The thing let out a sound that Jing thought could be a laugh, before it leaned down towards her until its frightful eyes were all she could see. “What I don’t know, however, is why you seem to think that Sly Cooper is currently outside. Would you care to tell me what I’m missing?”

Jing trembled under the weight of the monster staring her down. She opened her mouth, not knowing what to even say, and found that her voice had fled from her entirely.

“How curious. I had expected my associate’s child to resemble him, but it appears that only extends to the physical. Since you seem to have lost your courage, perhaps someone else can return it.”

The thing lifted its head and opened its beak, letting out a screech that had Jing throwing her arms over her ears in pain. It was loud and metallic and so very ghastly, and for a moment the panda wondered if this thing cornering her was actually an evil spirit. Nothing could make a sound like that – nothing could exist like that – and be of the living.

Within minutes, several pairs of feet came running up into the observatory. The girl couldn’t see them because of the thing blocking her sight of the rest of the room, but she could hear her father’s labored breathing among the rest.

“What’s goin’ on, boss?” A gruff voice called out, sounding the least winded out of all of them. “I ain’t ever heard you screamin’ like that before.”

Jing was so focused on the thing’s eyes that she did not see the giant clawed foot until it clamped around her shoulders. The grip was cold and firm yet somehow gentle, as if it knew exactly how to hold the panda without hurting her. She was pulled away from the window to stand next to the monster, where she saw the rest of the guests that came here every year, all out of breath and looking confused and irritated.

And her father among them, who had just gone very, very still.

“Cooper may no longer be in the fortress,” the monster announced. It was speaking to everyone but was staring at her father. “I found this child wishing him well as she was looking out at Kunlun.”

The Panda King took a halting step forward with his eyes locked on the talon around Jing’s shoulders. “I can send for someone to find him. He was locked in his room for the evening. He should still be there.”

Jing held her breath, shocked by her father’s small lie. Sly never slept in his own room when these people visited; he stayed with her until long after they left, when the nightmares finally stopped. She didn’t understand why the older panda wouldn’t tell them the truth, but she did not dare challenge it in front of the monster.

“It would be much easier to simply ask her, wouldn’t it?” The thing sounded like it was about to make the laughing sound again, but the girl didn’t know what was so funny. “Unfortunately, I have already tried, and she will not tell me what she knows. I think one of you would have better luck.”

Her father took another step forward, steadier this time, but she could see the fear in his eyes even though his face was very stern and angry. The people behind him were watching, and something about them was almost as scary as the monster.

“Jing,” her father started, very quiet with a tone she’d never heard from him, “Tell me why you are out of your room, and where Sly is.”

She stared up at him, feeling eyes on her from everywhere and suddenly afraid in a way she’d never experienced before. These were the ones who had hurt her best friend; who he was so scared of that he had risked the harsh mountain at night just to get away. If she told them the truth, then they would hurt him again.

Jing didn’t answer.

“Daughter,” the Panda King said, even quieter than before, and he kneeled in front of her to put his hands on her shoulders, in the space between where the giant claws sat and her bare neck. “You must tell me. It is the most important thing I will ever ask of you.”

Jing didn’t know if the way she was shaking was from her own body or her father’s hands. He looked at her as though it would be the last time that they’d ever see each other. She felt the talons squeeze very lightly against her skin as if to encourage her instead of scare her.

“I…I’m scared, father,” she whispered, hoping that the monster could not hear her. “What is going to happen if I tell you?”

“Everything is going to be alright.” One hand reached up to cup her cheek, and this time she knew for sure that it was him who was trembling so terribly. “Please, qiān jīn. Do this for me, and I will take care of things.”

The girl stared at him. He looked as afraid as she felt, but there was also the promise of safety in his gaze. He would fix things, surely. He would protect her, and Sly, and not let these people harm them.

She trusted her father. She had to. She still believed he was different.

“I helped him leave the fortress,” Jing said, not looking away from him even as the claws around her shifted at the confession. “He wanted to leave, so I helped him. He is not going to come back.”

The talons squeezed, so sudden and painful that the young panda cried out, before releasing her entirely and pushing her into her father’s waiting arms. She pressed her face against his shoulder as he enveloped her as completely as he could.

“I suggest you take your daughter back to her room and then return here immediately, Panda King.” The monster’s voice was icy with fury. “We have a very short window of time to fix this mistake, and I will not let the sentimentality of others ruin that.”

Jing’s panicked breathing hitched as her father picked her up for the first time in years. He held one hand to the back of her head to keep her face tucked away as he left the observatory, but she could still hear one of the others jeering at their backs.

“This is what happens when you show mercy to children, King! Even the bloody waif knew to exploit you for it!”

The Panda King did not respond, nor did he say anything to his daughter as he hurried away. He did not put her down all the way back to her room, and she could feel the haste of his wide, quick strides. When they finally arrived, he set her carefully down just inside the doorway, looked her up and down very briefly for injury from the monster’s claws – her arms were bruised beneath her fur, but the skin had not been broken anywhere – and then shut the door without another word. She didn’t even have the chance to say anything before she heard the clink of him locking her in from the outside, and then he was gone.

Jing stood there, stunned by everything that had just happened and struggling to process it. She shivered, still feeling the touch of that freezing metal, and then shivered again as she realized Sly had to face the monster every single year.

The monster.

It had been so angry over what she’d done. Her father was very strong, but he had seemed so scared, and she was suddenly unsure whether he would be able to win if they fought each other. If the panda won, then Sly would be safe, but if the monster won, then what would happen?

The chill was still in her body and her heart was practically in her throat, but Jing forced shaking hands up to her hair, where several tiny pins had been stuck just out of sight. She had promised her brother that she would help him escape, and she had to make sure she didn’t break that promise even if she didn’t know how. She would just have to take things one step at a time.

Growing up with someone like Sly meant that she had learned things. He had taught her how to get herself out of trouble, and no one had ever suspected that Jing could do any of the things that he could. It had worked to their advantage before; it would work for her now.

A locked door was child’s play to the sister of a thief.

--------------------------------------------------

The Panda King returned to the observatory with the speed of a runner and the dread of a man on death row. The Fiendish Five were waiting for him at the window, which had been swung wide open in his absence to let in the cold evening wind. None of them said a word to him, although it was clear that they all wanted to, and instead looked towards their leader, who was perched on the windowsill to stare out at the mountain.

“It seems you’ve lost Cooper.”

King tensed as Clockwerk swiveled his head around to look at him without ever moving the rest of his body.

“I have not lost him,” he said, watching him carefully. “He has escaped.”

“Is it not the same thing? You took responsibility for him, and he has fled from under your care. Of course,” the owl turned his head back towards the open air, voice dangerously unreadable, “if you truly want to argue semantics, it was your daughter who caused this.”

King closed his mouth and glared at his leader’s back. His fingers twitched at his side, wishing desperately to reach for the fireworks stashed under his belt, but he did not dare turn on the ancient bird even if he were not outnumbered by his colleagues.

“Should we continue this argument, or would you prefer to rectify the mistake you’ve let happen?”

“…Let us move on,” the panda replied through gritted teeth. “Allow me to contact my men down below. They will find the boy within the hour; there is no way he has left my territory yet.”

Clockwerk didn’t immediately respond. He had leaned forward to study the compound, and the windowsill creaked under his weight. When he finally spoke, it was razor sharp with triumph.

“No need.” His wings began to unfold from his body. “I have already found him.”

The owl launched off of his perch and into the air, leaving the rest of the Five to rush to the open window to watch. King tracked his movement with a terrible sense of foreboding.

“How much you wanna bet he’s gonna kill the kid?” Muggshot said as he elbowed Mz. Ruby in the ribs, making her scowl at him.

“It would be a waste of time if he does,” she growled. “All of us thinkin’ of things for him to do when he finally joins us and then it doesn’t matter in the end. I might as well bring him back as a zombie to get some use out of him.”

Clockwerk was making lazy circles in the air, high above any of the buildings. It went silent for a few moments as they watched their leader hunt. Cooper wouldn’t know he had been found until the owl was already bearing down on him, and by then it would be too late.

“You’ve made yourself look like a fool, you know,” Raleigh hissed at King. “Giving us some bollocks speech about the waif not being ready while he’s slipping out from under your nose. If I had been the one raising him, this never would have happened.”

“If you had raised him, he would cower at the slightest raised hand.” The panda gave him a frigid look, aware that now was a dangerous time to throw barbs but needing to turn his anger at a target. “He would have been useless in our line of work.”

The frog’s lips curled up into an awful smile. “Better than him being dead, right?”

Before King could respond, Clockwerk finally dived. Everyone fell into a hush. The bird disappeared farther out than expected, somewhere just inside the northern wall of the compound. When he came up again, he was clutching something small and struggling between his talons. Clockwerk rose into the sky, higher and higher until he was nearly eye-level with the fortress.

Then he dropped his cargo.

The cry that rang out across the air was young and terrified. King watched in horror as Cooper went plummeting. He was too far away to see his face, but it did not take any imagination to picture it; Clockwerk had employed this technique many times with many enemies. It was one of his favorites for the disorientation and torment it caused.

Just as it looked like the boy was going to hit one of the temple roofs, the owl swooped down and plucked him right out of the sky. Cooper went silent again, but they could all see the way he kicked and flailed in the iron hold. Clockwerk lifted his prisoner high into the air a second time.

King closed his eyes before he could see the second drop. It did nothing to tune out the second scream.

When ancient bird caught Cooper again, he dropped down out of sight, right where he’d first dove after the raccoon in the midst of his escape attempt. The Five shared confused looks, unsure of why he hadn’t just returned to the fortress now that his fun was seemingly over. Just as Mz. Ruby began to lift her hands in an effort to contact their leader telepathically, a sound stopped her instantly and made King’s blood turn to ice.

It was not a shriek. It was not even a scream. It could only be described as a wail that tore across the compound, so loud that the panda’s employees all stopped in their tracks below to look for the source of it. It went on and on and on, rising in pitch and agony in an impossible climb.

And then it cut off in a chilling finality, leaving the world silent with horror in its aftermath.

Clockwerk lifted into the air for the third and final time, heading towards the observatory with a limp body in his claws. The Five did not speak another word until he landed and laid the bloody form of Cooper onto the floor among them.

King was no stranger to the atrocities committed against children. He had killed many in his efforts to build a ruthless reputation, and never once had he flinched away from it – not even after the birth of his little girl. But there was a stark difference between cruelty with a purpose and cruelty for sport, and he had never found satisfaction in torture even to his enemies.

The sight that gripped him now – this child with wide, unseeing eyes and blood leaking from his mouth, his chest torn from one shoulder to opposite hip by three colossal, hideous slashes – was not one he would wish on his worst.

“If you want Cooper to survive, I suggest he get medical attention,” Clockwerk said, emotionless, as he stalked off without another glance at either his motionless team or the motionless boy. His bloodied talons left a red trail across the floor all the way to his exit.

It was Muggshot who picked the boy up, the gentlest they had ever seen him act, and began to carry him out of the room. “King, you gotta first aid kit somewhere around here?”

“I – have an infirmary,” he stumbled on the words only once before finding his steel again. “I will take you there.”

They walked out as a group, each silent for very different reasons. Well, perhaps not all that different – the bulldog had a pensive pinch to his brows that mirrored King’s own face – but he did not assume mercy from any of them. What had happened tonight was a natural consequence of crossing the owl, no matter how gruesome it was, and they had known those consequences for as long as they’d been a team.

The Panda King’s personal medical staff was exceptionally trained and exceptionally loyal. They did not panic at the arrival of Cooper bleeding out in Muggshot’s arms, nor did they ask questions as they found him a bed and began working to save his life. The canine was directed elsewhere to wash the blood off his body, and the remaining members of the Five were ushered out of the infirmary to give the team space to work.

“Raleigh.”

Clockwerk’s voice from down the hall startled all of them; they had not seen him there among the shadows. He extended a claw still covered in red towards the frog.

“Come with me. We need to talk.”

Raleigh didn’t question it or even hesitate. He hopped off after his leader, throwing a single sneer over his shoulder at King as a final reminder of his utter disdain over the situation. They both disappeared out of sight, leaving the panda alone with Mz. Ruby.

“You really fucked this one up, cher,” she told him. It was matter-of-fact, with no inflection in her voice to betray her real thoughts. “You’ll be lucky if he lets you join a job within the next year.”

“I am well aware.”

“Cooper ain’t gonna be able to hide behind you after this.”

“He will not.”

The alligator squinted at him. Just as she was hard to read, so now was he. Eventually she sighed and gave up on the scrutiny with a shrug. “Well, here’s hopin’ you don’t get kicked off the team entirely. You’re the only one worth good company, far as I’m concerned.”

He stared down the opposite hall in the direction of the observatory and didn’t respond. Truth be told, the possibility had already crossed his mind. It would not be a blessing if the Five decided to cut ties – either he would be killed for the knowledge he carried out of fear of betrayal, or they would take something precious from him to keep him in line for the rest of his days. He did not need to put much thought into what that would be.

“Never seen Tony so shaken up,” Mz. Ruby changed the subject, seemingly callous to his inner turmoil. “Didn’t think he still had a heart inside that big muscled –”

The way she suddenly cut herself off caught his attention, right before the sound of tiny, rushed footsteps appeared and the door behind him slid open. He turned around just in time to catch the tail end of his daughter’s nightgown as she disappeared into the infirmary.

“Mā de!” He swore, hurrying in after her while Mz. Ruby remained motionless in the hall. “Jing! Do not go in there!”

But it was too late. He stopped in the doorway at the sight of her, frozen, standing at the foot of Cooper’s bed. The boy had been bandaged thoroughly, but blood was already seeping in through his dressings and he was laying slack and unconscious, dead to the world around him.

“Sly!” His daughter sobbed, falling to her knees at the end of the bed. Her hands hovered over the raccoon without touching him, and that restraint was the only reason he did not immediately remove her. “I’m so sorry, Sly! I’m so sorry!”

“Jing.”

She cried harder at King’s voice, shaking her head furiously against a request he had not even asked yet. “No! I won’t leave him! You cannot make me!”

The older panda hesitated. He glanced backwards once, where his colleague stood with her back to him – standing guard in an unspoken agreement until he solved the problem he had found himself in.

“Jing, you must leave him be.” He tried again, careful to keep his tone calm in the face of her despair. “He needs rest if he is to recover.”

She shook her head a second time and looked up at him. “What happened? What did they do to him?”

King could not find an easy answer. He remained silent. It was the wrong thing to do when she shakily got to her feet to face him fully with her hands balled into fists.

“Tell me, Father!” The girl cried. Anger began seeping into the grief. “What did that monster do? Why didn’t you stop them? Why – why are you so calm?!”

“You would not understand.” It was all he could say in the face of her accusations. Nothing would quell her furious judgement in this state. She would not believe him even with the truth. “Please, return to your room where you will be safe. I will let you know when he wakes.”

Jing glared at him with more venom than he had thought her capable of holding. She trembled head to toe in rage; a startling mirror image of the boy he used to be, who had once directed that poison at the nobles who had looked down on him. He drew a breath, shaken by the comparison, but before he could explain that it had been to save her life, she was already running past him out of the room.

He followed her out to the hallway and watched her flee in the direction of her room, hoping that she would come to realize the reasons for his actions on her own. Beside him, Mz. Ruby clicked her tongue in a way that could mean either disapproval or sympathy.

“She’s gonna remember this night for the rest of her life,” the mystic warned as he stared after his daughter but did not follow. “Them childhood scars last forever.”

King shook his head. “Not her. She is different from us. Loving and forgiving.”

“Here’s hopin’, cause otherwise you’re just perpetuatin’ that cycle all over again. Same as it ever was.”

He hoped desperately that she was wrong, but he found that he did not have much faith. There had never been a prediction by Mz. Ruby, supernatural or not, that had not turned out exactly as she promised.

--------------------------------------------------

Sly Cooper remained bedridden for two weeks. He woke up sporadically and only for minutes at a time, and his health wavered on the brink more than once as the medical team did everything in their power to stabilize him.

Within that time, Mz. Ruby and Muggshot returned to their respective territories to further their criminal exploits while waiting for further news. Raleigh remained both a constant guest of King and a constant visitor of Cooper. Clockwerk came and went periodically – never once checking in on the raccoon but always keen to hear updates of his condition.

Near the end of the second week, when the boy’s injury-induced fever broke and it was clear he would pull through, the owl disappeared for four days and returned with a large, unusual safe, which he placed in one of the observatory rooms – along with a single slip of paper holding the code to it, which he gave to King with no explanation except to keep the code well-protected and to never open the safe. The panda took it without complaint or question, painfully aware of the precarious state of his leader’s trust in him.

When Sly began to awaken for longer periods of time, cognizant of his surroundings, Clockwerk cornered the Panda King outside the infirmary with the Cooper cane in his talons. How he had found it when King had never shared the knowledge of where it was hidden in the fortress was another thing he dared not ask about.

“Once Cooper is able to move on his own again, Sir Raleigh will take him with him when he leaves. Cooper will work for us from now on. You will tell him this yourself.”

The owl paused, waiting for potential protest. King supplied none.

“Make no mistake, Panda King; this was fated to happen eventually. If not to you, then to any of the others. It may yet happen again. The Coopers have always had such a troublesome habit of crawling their way out of what they deserve.” His eyes were warm like molten lava as he held the cane up to study it. “But in the end, fate always catches up to them. It will be no different for this one.”

The fireworks master did not say a word. Clockwerk was never finished with his musings when one first expected it.

“I must admit, the only part of all of this that caught me by surprise was you. I knew of your child from the day she was born, but I had assumed it would not affect the way you handled yourself. You certainly had me fooled for longer than I would like to admit. I suppose that is just as much on me as it is on you. I know the trappings of empathy on the average man, and I did not look hard enough for the signs in you. That being said…”

He loomed over the panda, all pretenses of a non-threat gone in an instant.

“If you ever jeopardize the plan I have in place for the very last Cooper, I will burn down your precious fireworks factory from within until you have nothing left. I will ruin your criminal reputation so thoroughly that even the pettiest of thieves will scoff at the idea of working with you. I will destroy everything you built in a fraction of the time it took for you to make it. And then, at the very end, I will tear your precious daughter limb from limb while you are helpless to stop me.”

The Panda King held perfectly still under his leader’s promise. He did not shake. He did not even breathe. All that existed was Clockwerk and the horror that was his very existence.

“Do we have an understanding, Panda King?”

“…Yes,” he said, thinking of a bloody mess of fur that was not gray but instead black and white. “Yes, we do.”

“Excellent.” The owl backed off and pointed the cane towards the infirmary door. “Let us visit our disobedient child, then, shall we? I believe we have kept him waiting long enough.”

King entered the room with Clockwerk right behind him, feeling just as much a hostage as the boy sitting in bed. Sly’s eyes widened straight out of tiredness the instant he saw the ancient bird, and he began to tremble. The blanket around his lap he clutched high against his bandaged chest as if it could shield him from further harm.

“Sly Cooper,” the panda began slowly, feeling rather than seeing his leader settle in a corner of the room to watch. “The doctors have told me that you are recovering well, and are no longer at risk of death. They estimate that you will be able to leave this place within another week.”

The raccoon’s gaze remained locked on Clockwerk. There was no indication he had even heard the words spoken to him.

“Sly,” he said, harsher than intended, but it finally pulled the child’s attention towards him. “Once that milestone is reached, you will no longer live here in Kunlun. Sir Raleigh will take you for the foreseeable future.”

“Take me…?” Sly whispered, hoarse and confused and clearly struggling to connect the dots in the midst of his pain and fear. His eyes darted back and forth between King and Clockwerk; the former saw the exact moment realization set in.

“W-Wait. King, wait,” he pleaded, sounding every bit his age instead of the front he often put up. “I can’t – I’m not ready!”

“He will wait until you are well enough to travel.”

“That’s not what I meant! You know it’s not what I meant!”

The panda did not close his eyes in his attempt to block out the stressed pleading in the other’s voice. He remained the perfect representation of stoicism. There was nothing else he could be under the watchful eye of the ancient thing in the room.

“Rules have been established in anticipation of this change,” he finally continued when he was certain his voice wouldn’t waver. “You will follow every order given to you by all of us. You will not attempt to sabotage our work in any way. If you are ever questioned by outside forces, you will not share any details about us. If you are separated from us for any reason, you will endeavor to return to us immediately so we do not think you have tried to escape again.”

“No…no, no, I can’t do this! Please tell them I’m not ready yet!”

Sly was so beside himself with fear that he seemed to have forgotten Clockwerk’s presence entirely as he begged for more time When he made a move as if to climb out of bed, King lunged forward and pressed his hand flat against the raccoon’s collar bone with his thumb sitting just above his bandages.

The boy froze. There were tears in his eyes.

“It is not up to me anymore!” The Panda King’s voice rumbled through the room, loud and angry. “You did a terribly stupid thing and must face the consequences. We have all decided that if you are so ready to risk your life to flee, you are also ready to work for us.”

Sly was actively crying now. He searched King’s face – the man who had spared him from death, who had trusted him with his own child, who he had finally, finally started to trust on some level even if it was clear he would never fully forgive him.

He looked at him, searching for any kind of compassion.

And found none.

The raccoon slumped back against the bed, and the panda removed his hand. It was obvious to both of them that the fight had left him. The reality of his situation had fully set in.

“You will stay here and recover,” King said as he stood up to leave. “And next week, you will be a member of the Fiendish Five.”

Sly looked away as the man headed for the door. He didn’t turn his head even when he stopped in the doorway. The panda wanted to apologize for everything he’d done. Everything he didn’t do. He wanted to promise that Jing would see him one last time before he left, even if that was a promise that he wouldn’t be able to keep.

He wanted to say many things, but he didn’t dare in the presence of his leader. Instead, he walked out of the infirmary with all the steadiness of the heartless crime lord that Sly would now see him as.

Clockwerk did not come out with him. He remained in the room for quite some time afterwards, and when he finally left as well, the Cooper cane was no longer with him.

“If he escapes again, he will return to try to steal back the Thievius Raccoonus from each of us. I have already informed the rest of the Fiendish Five about this. It is a courtesy that I am telling you now.” His eyes burned as he stared at King. “If he is caught by us or arrested in the meantime, that will be considered failure, and we will kill him for it.”

“And…if he succeeds?”

Clockwerk was not capable of smiling. But somehow, looking at him now, the panda could tell that he was.

“He won’t. I have already ensured that.”

With the finality of that statement in place, the owl walked off, leaving King with a deep-seated uneasiness that he would never be able to expel.

Just over a week later, as predicted, Sly was considered healthy enough for travel. He swayed on his feet, leaning heavily on his father’s cane just to remain upright, but it did not concern Raleigh in the slightest as he stood beside him and said his goodbyes to the fireworks master.

“Oh, don’t look so glum!” The frog jeered, pinching the boy’s cheek in a mockery of affection. “I’m not taking you to your death. Only a lifetime of servitude! Think of it as switching custody with a new guardian!”

Sly flinched under the touch and tried to pull away, but Raleigh kept hold of him with a snarl. The raccoon looked up at King one last time; one last plea for him to change his fate before everything changed forever.

The Panda King felt cold yellow eyes on him from afar, and turned his back instead.

He regretted it six months later, when he was finally allowed to work with Sly again and saw a dark bruise ringing his masked face. He regretted it the year afterwards, as the begging in the raccoon’s eyes slowly changed to a burning, constant hatred towards him. He regretted it for every mission where the boy was forced to do more heinous crimes under colleagues who were either indifferent or gleeful about it.

He regretted it all the way to the news of Muggshot’s arrest, where the first spark of hope ignited for the young Cooper in a long time. And then he regretted it again, not long after that, sitting on the floor of his daughter’s room as he told her every shameful detail of the last six years and his part in cultivating it.

Most of them had come from broken lives, falling into the criminal world because it was the only place that accepted them for everything that they were. But Sly Cooper’s life had been broken by them and then shattered completely when he was forced into that dark world against his will, playing a game he could not win, all on the whims of a creature who saw him as nothing more than the name that he carried.

And no matter the circumstances behind it, the Panda King would carry that regret for the rest of his life.

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A/N: HAPPY EARLY NEW YEAR

In celebration, how about the biggest chapter in the entire fic? Hopefully it was worth the wait! I've been waiting ages to reach this point, almost more excited for it than the reveal chapter. Lots of things finally understood, and perhaps a few more lingering questions....

Now that the holidays are over, I should be back into a weekly posting schedule (knock on wood). Only six chapters left!

#sly cooper #carmelita fox #clockwerk #fanfiction #the lines we cross

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sissytobitch10seconds · 2 years ago

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Fandom: The Umbrella Academy Summary: Marcus may not have been the best leader, but he's still better than whatever the fuck is happening with the Umbrella Academy. Ben could be better than their leader and he sure as Hell is a better second in command even if he and Marcus argue sometimes. Warnings: PTSD, panic attacks, canonical child abuse and torture, not Allison Hargreeves friendly Word Count: 5,991 Ship(s): Marcus Hargreeves/Ben Hargreeves/Viktor Hargreeves

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A/N: So I've edited this quite heavily but I'm still not sure how I feel about this. The quality is lower than some of my other fics have been but I still want to get it out there. I feel like if I don't post this then I'll just sit and fiddle with it until I can't even look at it. So here it is! Thank you all so much for reading, I hope you like it! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

They were all sitting in the main living room at the Academy, staring at each other like it would make the other team explode. They had managed to soothe their differences and quell the rivalry that had been brewing between the two families for the time being. The Umbrellas were sitting on one side of the living room while the Sparrows took up the other side, though Sloane and Luther were sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace while looking between both sets of superheroes.

Ben was pacing back and forth between the couch with the rest of his family on it. Fei was reclining back with her arms folded so that she could pet the feathers of the bird on her lap while still looking as intimidating as possible. Alphonso was leaning back against Jayme’s legs where the other girl was positioned next to her sister. Christopher was rolling anxiously over the lamp next to the couch. Marcus was sitting on the chair next to the end table, a physical and metaphorical distance between him and the rest of the team. Ben hated how poetic all of their positions felt.

It seemed like the other team couldn’t go five minutes without arguing about something, including where they were going to sit. The angry one with mind-control powers flopped down into the chair closest to the door after they had guided her in. The one with knives was spread out over the couch with the girl that hadn’t been with them when they arrived perched on his lap. The one that looked as though he was a child was brooding on the couch beside them, muttering something under his breath. The one that had been running around with their father was splayed over the armchair opposite to Marcus and possibly sleeping or dead.

“Where is he?” a new voice demanded.

It had been hard to remember which of the Umbrellas was missing since the battle that they had was so chaotic, but Ben was sure that one was. Their numbers were finally complete as the missing member was walking into their space with Grace following behind him, likely having just brought him into the house.

Ben’s mind stopped the angry whirring long enough to take in what he actually looked like. The pronouns had naturally switched themselves in Ben’s mind when he took in the more masculine energy that the newcomer was projecting. He had cut his hair so that it framed his face and hung over his forehead. The brown color of his hair brought out the starkness of his eyes, which held a deep rooted sadness just barely behind the fire burning there. His clothes were rumpled and dirty, similar to what people looked like when they had just come from a fight of some kind. He had an inch long wound on his cheek that had very recently scabbed over. His chest was heaving for air and his skin was slightly luminescent, just enough that Ben noticed the swell of power in the air.

“Who, Harlan?” the mind control Umbrella asked as she rose from where she had been sitting. She crossed her arms menacingly over her chest as she stepped towards her brother.

“Yes, Allison!” the smaller hero snapped as he advanced on her. “What did you do to him?”

“Why didn’t you tell me what he did to us?” she retorted.

“What?” Viktor asked, looking genuinely confused and upset.

“Why didn’t you tell me, or anyone for that matter, that he was the one that killed our mothers and got us into this whole mess?” Allison demanded.

Ben stopped his pacing and walked over to the couch. He folded his arms and then leaned on it so that he could be closer to his siblings. “Ten bucks on the little one,” he muttered as he grabbed a chip from the bag that Jayme had open on her lap.

“I’ll take that. He beat the shit out of both of us when we were fighting him and she has trigger words she has to use,” the other Sparrow snorted as she mimed biting at his hand to get him to stop stealing her food.

The smaller Umbrella grit his teeth together hard enough that it looked like his jaw hurt. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think that it was fucking relevant, Allison! I also didn’t have a lot of time before you were pushing me out of the door,” he was talking with his hands as he got more upset. Something underneath his skin was beginning to glow pale white in a way that made him look ethereally beautiful.

“You don’t get to make that call for the family, Viktor,” the one that looked like a child objected, his brows furrowing together in anger.

He rounded on another brother, “And you do? You’ve all been hiding information from me and cutting me out of family decisions since Dad died so you don’t get to be upset that I’m doing it now! I was just trying to protect an innocent man that I hurt,” he turned back to Allison then. “You had no right to trick me into letting you kill him after you promised that you would help me.”

“I did help you. Until you started letting him kill you,” she growled. He rolled his eyes at that and took a step away from her. “I don’t know why I should help you anymore anyways. Everything that you do ends up hurting me in some way because that’s all you do!”

“How am I the one that ruined your life when I’ve barely seen either of them? Every time that you come back into my life you also end up fucking it up, Allison, so I don’t think that you get to accuse me of being that evil,” Viktor snarled at her.

“You killed Claire!” she shouted, her voice holding a kind of feral darkness to it that the Sparrows had only seen in their most dangerous foes.

Viktor took a sharp step back like he was expecting to be hit. “I didn’t kill Claire! I’m sorry that I don’t know how to get her back, none of us do. I don’t know how to bring her back or send you back to Ray, but that’s not my fault. I tried to help you-”

She cut him off before he got to finish. “Help me what? Help me mourn? Every single one of you has been trying to push me to just get over it since we got here. Do any of you even grasp what I’ve lost every time we’ve jumped through time?” Allison demanded, turning towards the rest of the Umbrellas while still keeping her eye on the rest of them.

The one with the ineffective powers shifted on his chair so that he was upright while still slumped back, his eyes narrowing slightly. He was toying with a pair of dog tags resting halfway down his chest with his fore and middle finger. He didn’t even open his mouth to try and fight her though, which let her keep going.

“You haven’t lost anything and you have cost me two families, Viktor. You’re conceited and dangerous and you don’t even fucking realize it. I can’t believe I ever thought that we could actually be siblings after all the shit that you’ve pulled on me that ended up making my life absolutely miserable,” she seethed.

“Allison, you don’t get to take the high ground here. You were one of the worst people in the house when it came to tormenting me and you’re the one that-” Viktor desperately tried to get a word in edgewise.

“Shut up!” she screamed. The air rippled with her power in a way that was honestly kind of impressive, especially since her power hadn’t been that strong when she had used it during their fight. Viktor’s eyes glazed over with foggy white for a moment and when they cleared he began to claw at his mouth.

Ben could hear him taking in ragged breaths through his nose as he tried in vain to get his mouth to open. The other Umbrellas immediately realized that she wasn’t going to hold back despite the good relationship the two had seemingly had prior. “Woah, Allison, that’s enough,” Luther protested from where he was sitting next to Sloane. When he made a movement to get up, the Sparrow pulled him back down and gave her head a little shake. It made Ben wonder what had happened that made Sloane so cautious about her new boyfriend being around his own siblings.

“I think we all need to calm down,” the one that looked like a child said as he glanced warily towards his brother. Viktor’s skin was still glowing a luminescent blue color and the foundation of the house was beginning to shake the stronger that it grew.

Allison completely ignored the kid, which he looked very frustrated about, though he still didn’t try to interfere at all. “I haven’t done anything to you! We should have left you in the fucking basement to rot,” she almost screamed.

“That’s enough!” Diego shouted before the last word had even finished passing through her lips.

It seemed to finally break her out of whatever angry trance that she had been stuck in. She blinked a few times and then took a half step back, which was apparently able to break whatever spell she had over Viktor. He gasped in a breath and then turned on his heel to rush out of the room as quickly as he could.

“Fei, you can handle this, right?” Marcus asked as he and his second in command shared a look. There was an expected animosity between him and Ben despite the fact that they had grown up around each other and the Sparrows were overall fairly close with each other. They had personas that they instinctively covered themselves in when they were around outsiders and strangers to protect their public image, but that wasn’t who they really were nor what they really felt about their teammates.

“Of course,” the blind woman nodded. The bird on her lap had turned towards the door that Viktor had left through, hopping a couple of times like she was tempted to go after the small hero to see for her master what had happened. She straightened out the raven as Marcus and Ben headed for the door. They closed it behind them so that the meeting could be held in relative privacy and people were less inclined to follow him.

Marcus glanced down each of the halls for any sign of the man that they were chasing after. “Any ideas about where he might have gone?” he asked.

The layout of the house had been changed quite a lot after they had started to drug their father. They had created a more cohesive space out of the amalgamation of buildings so that it felt more like one singular home instead of storefronts stitched together as Reginald pressured them out of their deeds. Some of the base hallways and rooms were the same since the Sparrows weren’t immune to the comfort and nostalgia that the space brought them. If the house had been changed in a different way than it had looked in the Umbrella’s timeline then it was very likely that Viktor was going to get lost quickly.

“We should get the bedrooms we had as kids first. If I had my sister bring up something super shitty and obviously triggering the first place I would go is my room,” Ben said as he began down the hallway towards where his and Marcus’ bedrooms still were. Some of the other siblings, like Sloane and Fei, had moved elsewhere in the house so that they weren’t always on top of each other once they became adults.

Marcus reached out and threaded his fingers together with Ben’s to try and remind the other man that he was there. The last time that they had worked with someone having a panic attack outside of their own family had been the Jennifer Incident. That had given Marcus his own helping of PTSD and issues, of course, but it had been far worse for Ben. He just wanted to make sure that his boyfriend was okay while they dealt with what was a serious situation for them both.

They checked through the empty guest rooms surrounding their own bedrooms before they heard a shuffling sound behind Ben’s door. They shared another look with each other before they both pushed forward. Ben’s room had been the first to get renovated after they had drugged Reginald enough to have full control of his bank account and property. It was curious that he had gone through the door that had been used as a storage closet between some of the bedrooms before Ben had absorbed it into his own.

“Viktor?” Marcus asked carefully as he stepped through the door. He had maneuvered his boyfriend so that Ben was behind him if the man ended up being anywhere as dangerous as it had turned out that Jennifer was.

The aforementioned man was sitting on the rug in the center of Ben’s room. He had a pair of headphones over his ears and was pressing the ‘play’ button so hard that Marcus was surprised that the walkman hadn’t broken. His skin was less blue than it had been while he was arguing with Allison, likely because he didn’t feel like he was being attacked when he was hidden away in Ben’s room. His hair was disheveled and this close they could both see that his clothes were marked with dirt and bits of leaves. He was shaking as he clamped his other hand over his mouth to try and stifle the sounds of his cries. The wound on his cheek was weeping again, though it was hard to tell because of the way that he had spread the tears around his skin.

Marcus took a careful step into the room and then knelt down next to the tiny hero. He reached out and pressed a hand to Viktor’s shoulder which got him out of his head, but also caused him to fling himself away from the touch.

“It’s okay, we’re not here to hurt you,” Marcus soothed, putting his hands up in a defensive posture.

Viktor removed the headphones from his ears so that they were hanging down around his neck and then pushed himself up into a standing position. He plucked the front of his shirt twice and then began to pull at the tips of his fingers. “I-I’m sorry, I know that this is someone’s room but I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go,” he stuttered around the sobs that he wasn’t able to keep back. His eyes flitted from Marcus to Ben and then to the partially open window, though the outside was obscured by the bug screen that they had put in.

“It’s my room,” Ben replied plainly as he moved past Marcus so that they were standing shoulder-to-shoulder half a yard in front of the doorway. “You came in here to cry?”

“In the other world it was my room,” Viktor replied awkwardly. “Part of it was, at least. You guys did the same thing that Klaus did. I slept in this part and he slept in that one, but when I went to college he knocked a huge hole in it so Dad had to combine them. Made it awkward when I tried to come home for Christmas my freshman year.” He gestured towards the blue-painted feature wall that had been nothing but cinder blocks when they had been using it as a storage room.

“I’m sorry, are you saying that you slept in a closet when you lived with the Academy? I don’t think that would make you very mission ready,” Ben snorted. He had judged the Umbrellas pretty heavily when they arrived since they seemed to be nothing more than disjointed rabble that had basically been pulled off the streets. Marcus and Sloane had told him a couple of things about them that only cemented that idea, like Viktor’s claim that he had ended the world and Luther’s surprise at the closeness of the Sparrows.

“I didn’t go on missions,” Viktor cleared his throat. He tapped at the floor with the point of his shoe.

Ben looked even more bewildered than before. The Umbrellas were an enigma that he was wishing he understood the more that he learned about them. “Why not? You’re obviously the most powerful out of your siblings. You were able to take all of us down with one burst and we’re actually good.”

He sighed. “It’s complicated. You guys don’t want to hear it. I shouldn’t have done what I did anyway. I’m being selfish again,” he brought one of his hands up to his hair, a fist clenching around the strands on his forehead for just a moment before he fixed it naturally.

Marcus recognized it as a very subtle self harming gesture, something that they had to train Jayme out of when she was little and felt guilty about using her powers on people while they were on missions. It was one of the reasons that she was so closed off and jaded to everyone other than Alphonso now. “I don’t think that not wanting someone to die is selfish. I… If I’m being honest, the only reason that we wanted Harlan was so that we could have some kind of power over you all. It’s scary suddenly finding a team of people just as powerful, and in some cases more powerful, as you after all of our time being the top dogs. We haven’t had someone challenge us the way that you all did since we got Dr. Terminal in prison.”

“We have bigger problems to worry about. Allison-” Viktor tried again.

“Screw that bitch. What she said obviously bothered you and it’s not going to get off your mind until you talk about it. So talk,” Ben said. It was his way of safely telling the other man that he cared enough to listen to what he needed to say without letting him feel too guilty about it. He had never been very good about being heartfelt or showing any kind of vulnerability since their father had raised him to be Number One their entire lives, until that fatal mistake. Marcus recognized it and gave his hand a quick squeeze.

Viktor had long since stopped crying but the tears and snot were still wet on his face, so Marcus handed him a tissue and then motioned for him to sit down. The Sparrows sat on Ben’s bed, facing towards him while he sat down on the chair that had been tucked into the desk. “So?” Marcus prompted.

He fidgeted for a moment longer before he finally answered, “I wasn’t sent on missions because I was raised to believe that I didn’t have any powers. I don’t have great memories of it because of something that Allison did when we were four and that’s pretty fucking young for even non-mind controlled people. But essentially, Dad decided that my powers were too volatile and dangerous. He put me on this medication that he told me were for my nerves and he made sure that I took them my entire life. I only got off of them about six weeks ago.”

The Sparrows shared a look with each other. They knew about the medication that Reginald had made that would both sedate them and take away whatever was making their powers inside of them. It was the only thing that had kept Ben from dying during the Jennifer Incident and often helped Alphonso when his own powers began to get out of control. They had only ever had it used on them when they needed it, usually that was determined by Grace or Pogo when they were too young to consent, or when they were in a life-or-death situation. It had never been used for longer than a couple of days and never without them knowing what it was doing.

“Does that have something to do with you ending the world twice?” Marcus asked, a small smirk slipping over his face despite himself. He had never seen a display of power more errotic and terrifying at the same time than when Viktor had said that to him while, in a controlled manner, made the entire diner they were in rattle.

The aforementioned hero flushed and then ducked his head down towards the ground. He was still toying with his fingers to try and soothe his nerves but he no longer looked like he was going to burst into tears at any given moment. “It does. I had a… boyfriend? I don’t know if you could even call him that since we knew each other for all of seven days but anyway. I had a boyfriend that found one of Reginald’s old journals somehow and he used it to figure out about my medication. Long story short, he took me off of the meds and then it turned out that I had a lot of repressed power that I couldn’t control. I ended up blowing up the moon because I used my powers through my violin and it got out of hand really fast.”

“What about the second time?” Ben asked, genuinely curious. He was learning a lot of information that was really helpful to know about their enemy as well as just getting overall closer to a man that he found very attractive outside of his overall annoyance for new people.

“I got kidnapped by the FBI who thought that I was a spy for the USSR when we were in the sixties before we came here. They gave me a hallucinogen and then electrocuted me to try and get me to talk but the only thing that it did was jump start my powers. Five never fully explained how that was supposed to start the apocalypse but Diego mentioned something about the FBI building exploding, which had to be my fault since shit tends to blow up when I let my powers go too far. The apocalypse ended up not happening, obviously, but it was because of the ghost of you in another timeline,” his eyes flickered nervously towards Ben.

The Sparrow understood the trepidation that he had in bringing up Ben’s other universe self since he hadn’t exactly reacted well to it the last couple of times it had happened. This time it didn’t feel like an insult, like he was upset that Ben wasn’t that other version instead of just being himself. It carried too much guilt and anxiety with it to be mean. Ben wondered what kind of relationship that version of himself had with Viktor, especially if they had the same taste in partners if the fluttering in Ben’s stomach at being able to make Viktor blush were anything to go by.

“Wait, did you say that you were electrocuted? Like tortured?” Marcus asked, snapping the other man out of his introspection.

“Yeah, it’s not that big of a deal. Diego had to go through way worse when he was locked away in the mental institution and they all had to endure worse in their training,” he brushed them off.

The ease of his dismissal was what really worried both of the other men. They had encountered people even within their own circles that were very willing to blow off their own problems so that they could focus on others but Viktor’s excuse seemed almost practiced. “It’s still a big deal even if other people have gone through what you might think is worse. Trauma isn’t a fucking sport,” Ben growled. “Who made you feel like it was?”

“No one,” Viktor shook his head, which they could both tell was a lie. “I just… My siblings have gone through way more than I have. They had to go on missions and put up with all of that training. I never had to go through anything like that because Dad took away my powers. I lived a relatively quiet life and was ignored a lot so I didn’t even have to deal with harassment the same way that Allison did. I pitched a lot of fits and got disproportionately upset about a lot of things when they’ve all had to endure way more than I have. It’s not something I get to be upset about after all I put them through.”

“All you put them through? I think you meant to say the consequences of what our shitty father did to you,” Marcus corrected. “The second apocalypse was definitely not your fault, you can’t help the reaction that your powers have to that kind of trauma.”

“What happened during the first?” Ben asked before the man even had a chance to process what the other hero had said. He was curious and beginning to get angrier that the other team could treat one of their own the way that they had been. The Sparrows weren’t exactly kind to each other but they definitely had more compassion and understanding for their teammates that the Umbrellas seemed to.

“It’s kind of complicated. We should probably get back to the planning so that we can stop the end of the world,” Viktor mumbled as he slowly began to raise from the chair.

It was Marcus that stopped him that time, gesturing with his head for Viktor to sit down again. He did so cautiously, eyeing them like he was unsure that he wasn’t walking directly into a trap. “I… We all kind of went our separate ways as adults and it made me get bitter. I was left alone a lot when I was growing up but now I was literally alone and I didn’t quite know how to handle that. So I wrote a book about the kinds of things that Dad had done to me and I spilled a lot of family secrets. Allison in particular was riding off of the fame that the Academy gave her with her Hollywood career and she accused me of trying to ruin her image. I think I just hurt Diego’s feelings by talking about the way that Dad had hurt specifically him. I don’t know, I thought that it was a good idea at the time, but it turned out to be awful. My ex-boyfriend got ahold of the book and then used that with the journal that he found behind the house to abuse me.”

Viktor was staring down at his hands the entire time that he spoke. Both of the other men could see that he was shivering slightly with the emotions that were overcoming him. Regardless of what he was feeling, he pressed on, “He turned me against my family. Told me that none of them could ever truly love me even if some of them were trying to have a good relationship with me after our dad’s death. Then he tricked me to go cold turkey off my meds and convinced me that it was a good idea. It wasn’t and my powers were totally out of control. They still get a little messy if I’m really out of it now but it’s nothing like it was back then.”

Guilt crept over his face and he scrunched up his nose like he was trying to resist the urge to cry. “Then, um, Allison showed up at the house that he and I were staying at and we got in a fight. We were arguing because she remembered that Dad made her rumor me into believing that I was ordinary in all things for the duration of my life. At the time it felt like she was the reason that my entire life had been utterly miserable but I know that’s not true now. But I got scared because she tried to rumor me again and I cut her throat with my powers, channeling it through the bow of my violin. I… I felt awful, of course. She was my sister and not even Leonard-Harold,” he screwed up his face and shook his head.

He placed his head in his hands and tried to muffle the sound of the sobs that were pushing their way past his mouth. “Sorry,” he whispered after a moment.

Marcus slipped off of the bed so that he was kneeling in front of Viktor. He had always been at least a smidge more compassionate than Ben and was definitely better at showing it post-Jennifer Incident. “You don’t have to keep explaining if it’s putting you in actual distress. The more that you tell us the easier that it’s going to be for us to protect you, though.”

“Why would you want to protect me?” Viktor asked, sounding genuinely confused.

The two Sparrows showed a look at each other. Ben folded his arms defensively over his chest as he said, “Because you’re going to be a good fucking asset to our team. They treat you like shit, you’re very obviously powerful and talented. It just makes sense that you would want to come and work with us instead of staying with them.”

“They’re my family…” the Umbrella hero whispered with a minute shake of his head.

“Blood is thicker than water, Viktor. We were all ripped away from our biological families and lumped together like that was somehow going to bind us together. We won’t pressure you into it, but we would like to at least have some connection to you after this is all over,” Marcus whispered. He was trying to ignore the shy smile that was forcing its way onto his lips. Despite the content of the meeting, back when they were in the diner he was unable to completely ignore the fact that it felt a little bit like a date. He and Ben had already talked about it and if Viktor was at all willing, Ben had given Marcus permission to pursue a possible romantic relationship with him.

“I’d… have to talk to them about it. I couldn’t just leave them after everything that I put them through,” he sniffled. “But, um, the first apocalypse. I came back to the house and they locked me in the basement. Apparently there was a room that Dad had made especially for me, I think he put me in it when I was four and he was making the medication. But it was sound proof so that I couldn’t hear anything inside of it from the outside and it even muffled the sound of my own breathing.”

“That is quite literally torture. That kind of thing is illegal for the government to do to their prisoners and scientists aren’t allowed to study it besides small trials,” Marcus said, brows furrowed in worry.

Viktor shrugged. “My powers are to turn sounds into energy so that meant that I wasn’t allowed to have any sounds so that I couldn’t use them to break out of my prison.”

Ben scowled. He didn’t like what he was hearing and it was upsetting him more the longer that he listened to it. “So when that bitch said that she should have left you in the basement she meant that they should have kept you in a tiny, soundproof room until you either starved to death or found a way to kill yourself?”

The smallest of the heroes nodded awkwardly. “You know, the ironic thing is that they already did that. When Luther locked me in that room- and don’t go after him for that he was brainwashed by our father and thought that it was for the best until they could get me back on my medication- I begged for them to let me go. I was literally screaming so bad that my voice hurt for days afterwards. Granted I didn’t know what had happened in the days following that incident because I got hit by a car and developed amnesia, but it was really distressing. They were all just standing there and not even Allison or Five let me out. I thought that they were the two people that would see the most humanity in me, especially since Allison knew that I hadn’t meant to hurt her and it was an accident. I guess what she just said proves that she didn’t care or see the good in me.”

Marcus and Ben glanced towards each other for the millionth time that night. When someone spent their entire childhoods growing up alongside another person they developed a way of silently communicating, which is what they were doing currently. They both came to the same conclusion, Marcus rising so that he was standing beside Viktor. He cleared his throat and tried to look as much a leader as he could despite having very little practice in it. “We’re annexing you into the Sparrow Academy. Your own team treats you poorly and doesn’t seem to understand you. I can guarantee you that with a little time we can help you more than they can. I know that they’re your family and you love them very much, we’re not trying to replace them. We just want you to have the chance to flourish in a team that could really use your talents.”

In response, Viktor tilted his head down towards his hands and then took a deep breath. They could see him struggling not to cry, so gave him the space that he needed to cope. “I think I want that. I think that I want that so much.”

Surprisingly, it was Ben that took the step forward and wrapped him up in a much needed hug. Viktor grasped the back of his shirt so tightly that he wasn’t sure that he could escape even if he wanted to. The small hero hid his face in the crook of the other man’s neck and then began to sob so hard that his body shook with the force of it.

Once he had finished, the two heroes separated. Viktor turned to grab some of the tissues from the desk so that he could clean his face. It was terrifying how quickly he was able to make the distress disappear from his features. For a moment, Marcus wondered how often he had been forced to do that when he was young for him to be so practiced at it now.

Ben stripped his shirt off and deposited it into the laundry shoot next to the desk in his wall. When Viktor spotted him, rippling muscles shining under the natural light streaming through the window, his cheeks turned bright red and he angled his body away from the other man slightly. Marcus cataloged it as a good sign for the romantic relationship that they might be able to pursue with him once they learned a little bit more about his trauma and how they could help him through it.

After they were all presentable again, they walked back to the living room where the rest of their family was. Ben placed a careful hand on Viktor’s shoulder to steer him towards their side of the space despite Klaus’ attempts to drag him back over. The shock and confusion that covered their faces was satisfying in a twisted kind of way, like they were realizing that they had the potential to lose their brother to people that would love him more. Even Allison, despite all of her harsh words and bravado earlier looked offended to the bone that Viktor’s doe eyes had been turned towards Marcus and Ben and away from her. They were going to treat him better, they were going to worship him and appreciate him as the walking god that he was.

That much they were sure of.

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assigmentshortstory · 6 months ago

Text

What If

Standing and looking at myself in the mirror with my hair tied up, I was remembering a question somebody asked me recently. If you had a chance to ask your future self one question, what would it be? I found myself thinking about this question more often the past few days. Don’t ask me why, even though I know exactly why.

It made me think back to the time where Kevin and I lived together in an apartment in a troublesome neighbourhood. Living above a sketchy café, seeing the customers who walked out and were screaming bloody murder every night at 2 am in front of our building. A fairytale, having a first appartement together at such a location is not what I would call it, but we were happy. Or so I thought.

For myself I knew I wasn’t in a good place mentally. I was trying to find myself while losing myself completely. Meanwhile Kevin was going through something as well, without showing any signals. If I had known, maybe things would have been different now.

A specific moment keeps on entering my head. Coming back from school, tired and overstimulated, I entered an appartement, hearing a loud voice that sounded like Kevin was gaming with his friends. The dishes weren’t done like I asked him to, the dried washing wasn’t folded like I asked him to, and he didn’t get the groceries, like I asked him to. I didn’t expect him to do everything but one would’ve been helpful. But still, I accepted it. I greeted him, having to wait a minute until he noticed me to greet me back and for me to retreat to the bedroom. I remember feeling empty, but I wasn’t prepared to give up. So I hugged and kissed him goodbye after we had dinner and laughed together a bit before he went to work that evening and I settled myself on the couch.

It was a simple evening; I got a glass of wine and watched my show. Gotten over my tiredness, I stayed up quite late. Kevin had the habit of staying out late after work which sometimes had me worried and kept me awake, just like that night. When suddenly he called me in destress, telling me he was attacked on his way home just around the corner. I froze. How could I not have heard anything?

He arrived home and couldn’t even look me in the eye. ‘What happened? Are you okay?’ I asked worryingly.

‘No!’ he screamed with so many emotions that I wasn’t sure if he was just angry or also emotional, as he never showed me his vulnerable side. ‘No, I am not okay Clara! I was shoved of my bicycle by some assholes and then they kept threatening me and I couldn’t do anything.’ His voice cracked. His blue eyes started to water, and blond hair was wet from the rain. I didn’t know what to do.

I tried to hug him to comfort him. ‘It’s okay. I’m so sorry I didn’t hear anything, otherwise I would’ve come. But you’re okay now here with me. Okay?’

He released himself from my arms and entered the small balcony we had. He sat down. ‘I couldn’t do anything against them! I’m weak! I’m a loser, what is wrong with me?’

I stood in front of him and took him back into my arms. ‘There is nothing wrong with you. You will be okay. I am here with you, remember that. Okay?’

After a few minutes of sobbing, he nodded. ‘Okay. I love you. I’m so sorry.’ We stayed like this for a while.

The months after, we spend more time together and it felt right once again between us. I was so glad I never gave up; I felt like the luckiest and loved person ever. And still, I was wrong.

‘Clara, why aren’t you ready yet?’ I get pulled out of my daydream by my mother.

‘Oh, sorry, nothing. Just daydreaming.’ I reply. Looking at my reflection, in my wedding dress, I smile. If I had a chance to ask my future self one question, what would it be? I would ask myself what I could’ve done differently to save Kevin in the end and maybe he would’ve been the one at the end of the aisle.

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writethesleepaway · 3 years ago

Text

Suspicious

Summary: You and Steve had been best friends since, well, as long as the two of you could remember. You knew how to read him like a book, he could never hide anything from you. That is until he starts acting suspicious, and you can't quite figure out what's going on.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Y/N

Warnings: Swearing, kissing, that's bout it (this is fluff!)

WC: 3961

A/N: First Steve x Y/N post woop! that's really it okay bye love u all mwah (also still working on can't fight this feeling p4 lmao writing smut is intimidating)

(divider by @delishlydelightfuldividers)

To say that you and Steve were close was an understatement. Being neighbours since birth, you took your first steps together, although Steve would say it was more like him walking with pride and you falling flat on your ass. All throughout elementary school, you'd walk home together, holding hands as your mothers had instructed. Even after you were old enough to not hold hands, you did anyways. In middle school people teased you, always saying you and Steve were dating. You called him your brother. He called you his best friend.

Towards the end, you could tell there was a difference between the two of you. Steve had been titled 'King Steve', known for his looks, his smooth moves, and probably most of all his hair. He hung around popular people and was 'friendly' with everyone. You somewhat fell behind, choosing a smaller group of friends who were more close-knit. It's not that you weren't popular, you just weren't as loud about it as Steve was. Yet you still made time to hang out with each other every weekend. That was until highschool started.

You knew that you had drifted apart. He was focused on whatever date he was going on, you were focused on working and making money as fast as possible. It's not that you weren't friends anymore, at least you thought, but he didn't make the same effort he used to. It got worse when he started dating Nancy, you barely saw him anymore. Thankfully it all changed after everyone's first encounter with the Upside Down.

It was 3 am and you woke up to panicked tapping on your window, with Steve hanging off a tree branch waiting for you to notice him. Of course you let him in, worried as you had never seen him in such a state of panic. The boy completely broke down in your arms, crying out of fear, anger, and sadness, at having neglected you and your friendship. You didn't forgive him right away, but the weekend hangouts came back, and eventually you two became thick as thieves again, maybe even closer than before.

By now you had delt with the Upside Down multiple times. The group had just defeated Vecna, Steve and Robin kept their job at Family Video. You still had your job at the local library, but also kept a close eye on Max, babysitting her every once in a while. One day you decided to bake some brownies with her, hoping it would take her mind off of the recent events. When you realised you had made too much, Max suggested to take the left overs to Family Video, she knew Steve and Robin would appreciate them. You smiled down at her, admiring her selflessness.

"Robin? Steve?" you called out. Steve's head popped out from the back, earning you a quick grin, but his eyes widened as he ran back inside. Your smile dropped at his behaviour, not because you were upset, but because it was weird. He acted like some cartoon character, which was seriously unlike him. Two seconds later it looked like Robin was practically shoved out to the front desk.

"H-hey Y/N! What brings you here...?" Robin yelled from across the store, forcing a smile onto her face.

"Hey Robin...? Everything okay?" you asked.

"Duh, I mean besides that this is Hawkins and nothing is ever okay, what would be wrong?" Robin joked. Your deadpan face did not convince her, she dropped her act.

"Don't tell him, but Steve is being stupid, and won't talk to you." Robin whispered. A VHS tape flew out of the storage room, landing at Robin's feet.

"I heard that!" Steve called out.

"Why? Did I do something?" Robin noticed the slight quiver in your voice. She knew of your past with Steve, especially how hurt you where during that weird time when you weren't exactly friends.

"No, no no no, Y/N it's nothing like that. He's just being, really, really stupid." Robin explained with a sigh.

"Oh... Okay well, I came over to drop off some brownies. Max and I ended up making way too many so we thought you'd like what was left over."

"Uh, duh? Thanks Y/N, you're the best! Hey dingus! Come out here and try a brownie Y/N brought!" Robin yelled behind her. Steve creeped out, once again, like some cartoon character walking into unknown territory.

"Hey Steve..." you muttered, wondering if he'd continue to act weird.

"Jesus, Y/N! I thought you had left!" he yelled through his teeth.

"Oh, I can go if you want. I just wanted to drop these off anyways." You spun on your heel to turn around when you felt Robin grab your bag.

"Nope! You're not going anywhere Y/N. You're going to sit here with us and eat a few brownies." Your eyes scanned over the two workers. Robin had a wide smile plastered on her face, a shit-eating grin you could say. Steve looked like he had seen a ghost.

"I don't think Steve wants me here, but thanks anyways." Robin grabbed your hand and wouldn't let go, effectively trapping you in the store. Steve still looked like he had seen a ghost. A sigh escaped your lips as you sat on the counter top, giving up to Robin's hold.

"Oh my god, I totally forgot, I haven't washed my hands! I'll be back!" Robin exclaimed as she stood up to go to the bathroom.

"Robin I've literally seen you eat an oreo cookie off the floor because it was 'too precious to waste'." Steve spoke, surprising you with his voice.

"Well all of a sudden I am scared of germs, be right back!" she shouted over her shoulder, already half way to the bathroom. Steve shook his head and looked up at you, hoping you'd be looking at where Robin used to stand, but froze when he saw you look straight at him with a confused expression.

"So... Y/N what's up?" he asked trying to feign innocence.

"What's up with me? What's up with you? Why are you acting so supsicious? And why is Robin acting so suspicious? Did I do something?" you asked, voice dropping in the last sentence. Steve's heart cracked, he couldn't act strange anymore if you were going to blame yourself for his behaviour.

"No, no, god no you didn't do anything Y/N. I've just... I've just been in a funk lately." he explained as he grabbed a brownie to eat. Steve's eyes widened as he took his first bite.

"For how long?"

"I dunno, like mph forever?"

"Ew Steve finish chewing before you speak."

"Can't help it, these are delicious!"

"Well if it's been forever, why am I only just hearing about this now? I thought we told each other things."

"No, Y/N it's not like that. I think it's a funk that I only realised within the past year? Like it's always been in the back of my mind but it manifested properly recently."

"Look at you using big words. Wanna tell me what's up?"

"No, I'm okay. I don't wanna bother you about it. It's not that big of a deal anyways!"

Robin skipped back into the area where the two sat on the counter. She snatched a brownie into her hand and ate it enthusiastically, smiling and nodding at you to show you her appreciation.

"Have you talked about it yet?" she asked.

"Have we talked about what?" you responded.

"Oh no! I forgot I needed to pee! Bye now!" she yelled as she dashed into the bathroom again.

"Okay, you need to speak up. The two of you are shit at hiding things." you explained as you crossed your arms defensively.

"Hey, we're not hiding anything at all! Robin is just, weird like that, y'know?" Steve explained as he avoided your eyes. With a sudden air of confidence, you grabbed Steve by the cheeks and pulled his face so that he was now looking at you. Shocks ran through his body from your touch, he definitely didn't expect you to do that, and he tried to hide his excitement at your hands on his face.

"Nothing! I swear, nothing is happening!" Steve said to the best of his ability with his cheeks still squished together by your hand.

"You're a liar, Harrington, a poor one at that too. Just tell me you don't trust me and I won't bother you about it." you spat, face softening when you realised you sounded more aggressive than you actually were. Steve rushed to grab your hand, a move he often did to console you.

"Look, Y/N, I swear it's nothing bad. It's nothing concerning, nothing to worry about, I just... I wanna try and figure this out on my own. It's not that I don't trust you, I just wanna try and solve it myself."

"Is that why Robin knows?"

"Robin knows because she caught me speaking out loud, trying to figure it out. I still think she's a spy, she stood behind me for 19 minutes just listening to me talk to myself."

"You're talking to yourself now? Oh god you must be in some deep shit."

"Yeah, you could call it that..." Steve muttered as he rubbed the back of his neck, trying to calm his nerves. He knew he was acting weird, he knew he was being suspicious, but it didn't matter as long as you didn't find out what he was dealing with. A part of him was suprised that you hadn't figured it out already, he wasn't exactly the most subtle person.

"'Okay well, I'm gonna go now, I wanna clean up before tonight. Tell Robin I said bye, when she comes back from her 10 minute pee."

"Wait, what's tonight?"

"My date? Remember? I told you about this a week ago..."

"Wait, the one with Tommy J? You're actually going on that?"

"Yeah? Why wouldn't I?"

"Because he's ugly? He won't treat you right? He's probably just looking for some quick sex..."

"How do you know? Last week you said you didn't really know the guy!"

"Well, I do now, don't go out with him Y/N, he's not good for you."

"Steve it's not like you're very involved in my life these days, don't tell me what's good and not good for me. I know what I'm getting myself into."

"Oka- wait you do? You know he's just into quickies and you're still going out with him?"

"Is that such a bad thing? Don't forget there was a time when you were like this y'know."

"Okay but this is different! I don't want you getting hurt because of him, god knows what he'd do if you did something he didn't like. I just think you should do this type of thing with someone more... special?"

"Steve I won't have sex with him. Happy? I just want to actually go out with someone who gave me their attention first. There aren't many guys in Hawkins who give me the time of day and I'm sick of it."

"Um, sure. Yeah, I guess. Just, be careful, please? Call me the second something goes wrong, I'll be there as fast as I can."

"Thanks Steve, but I don't need a knight in shining armour. Anyways, I'm out, tell Robin I said bye."

You left without looking back. Steve held his head in his hands, groaning at the pain of the awkward experience. He knew he had no right to dictate who you went out with, and he knew that no guy in Hawkins really gave you the time of day. It's because he either scared them off or they already avoided you because they knew your connection to Steve. Jealousy plauged his mind as he thought of what you and Tommy would do. What if it actually worked? What if Tommy ended up being a really nice guy who swept you off your feet, what if you started dating and it became serious, then you got married and moved to some other town, something less shitty than Hawkins, and had children and a life together?

"Earth to dingus, you with me?" Robin yelled as she waved her hand in front of Steve.

"Oh my god, Robin. She's actually going out with Tommy J. Like, it's actually happen."

"Well shit, there goes your window of opportun- Steve? Steve! STEVE WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" she yelled as Steve ran out the door. He just waved at her and ran to his car. Robin grabbed the walkie talkie that Dustin had given her to keep at Family Video.

"Dustin, come in, over!"

"Robin, hi what's up? Over."

"Your ride to Eddie's is no longer happening, over."

"What? What do you mean it's no longer happening, tonight is campaign night! Over."

"Yeah well, Steve might have actually had a single successful thought in his head. I think he's going to tell Y/N how he feels! Over."

"OH MY GOD, FINALLY! Wait but I still have no way to get to Eddie's! Over!"

"That's no longer Steve or my concern, good luck bye! Over!"

Steve was sure he had run a few red lights and speeded in school areas just to get home on time. His eyes would drop to his watch every so often. He knew the date technically wasn't for another 2 hours, but something told him he wouldn't exactly be fast in his confession.

"Oh, hello Steve! What brings you here?" your mother asked when she opened the door to see Steve sweating and panting against the doorframe.

"Hi Mrs. Y/L/N I really need to talk to Y/N, like really badly. Can I go see her?"

"I mean yes but, she's in the shower. You can wait in her room. Oh and I must warn you, she's got a date in about an hour!"

"I know!"

Steve practically threw himself up the stairs as he ran into your room. All the tale tell signs of you getting ready presented themselves. Clothes thrown everywhere, different bottles of perfume on the vanity, a bag half packed full of things. He chuckled to himself as he heard you sing in the shower. He wondered if this is how you act when you get ready to see him.

"Shot through the he- JESUS CHRIST STEVE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" you screamed as you scrambled to cover yourself as best as possible. Steve instinctively screamed at the loud noise and felt paralyzed when he saw you. There you were, the girl he’s dreamt of for so long, standing in front of him, hair wet and dripping, skin fresh and slightly red from the warm water, with nothing but a towel covering your body.

"I- uh, well..."

"Turn around! Let me put on some clothes!"

Steve nodded and looked the other way, taking the silence and lack of ruffling sounds as a sign to turn back.

A heart attack. That’s what Steve was sure he was having. He couldn’t breathe, his fingers tightened around what he could grab, which happened to be his own hands, leaving crescent moons in his palms. His eyes were fixed on you. You had changed into an old tshirt he had lent you during a bad week full of tears and insecurities. It had little holes in the sleeves and the logo on the front was fading but ‘Harrington’ was still visible on the back. Your hair, now less dripping, was still wet, as you ran a towel through it. The tightness in his pants reminded him of your lack of pants.

"Are you going to tell me why you’re here? I’m going to be late, so I gotta get ready while you talk."

"Uhh, yeah that’s fine. I just wanted to talk to you about, my funk…"

"Oh yeah? Cool, whats going on?" you asked as you slowly applied some mascara.

Steve felt his words stuck in his chest as he watched you get ready. There was something so domestic about the scene, the idea of you in his shirt, getting ready to go out with him. But, it wasn’t him. It was fucking Tommy J who would do anything to get with a girl.

"Okay so, let’s say you like someone. And you didn’t think you’d ever like them, because you were past that. Like, way too far past that. You’re best friends, you can’t imagine your life without them, but you can’t help but want more. You want to be able to hug them, but then actually kiss them stupid until you’re both gasping for air. You wanna have sleepovers with them, but in the same bed, because you live together. Like I wanna do all the things I already do with them, but more, because I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her. Like, I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure."

"More sure than you were with Nancy?"

"Absolutely, without a doubt. Their smile makes me wanna melt, they are so pretty, so fucking pretty, Y/N. I wanna hold them forever, I wanna kiss them forever, the things I wanna do to this girl, oh my god I’d do anything for her."

"Jesus Steve how long have you been harbouring these feelings, these are intense…"

"Probably over a year now. It just kinda hit me one day."

«"Well damn, if they plague your mind that much, I think you should tell them. If they accept your confession, then I’m glad you can be happy together. If not, also good, because I’m pretty sure your crush on this person is strong enough to impair your ability to think and act like a normal person."

"You think? How should I tell her?"

"Depends, what kind of relationship do you have with her? Are y’all casual like that? Or do you guys always plan something in order to see each other."

"We’re casual, definitely casual, like go over to each other’s house casual."

You couldn’t help but feel confused. You were sure that you were the only one who Steve would be so casual with, but wondered if there was someone else he had not told you about. Maybe he was going back to his way of distancing himself again, and you didn’t know if you could handle that again.

Steve noticed the gears turning in your head, he knew you were starting to overthink. He knew that he didn't have much time left. So he did what any guy would do, act without thinking.

"Y/N, look at me."

You swiveled around in your chair and faced him, head cocked to one side as you finished curling your hair.

"It's you."

"What's me, Steve?"

"The girl. The girl that I'm so hopelessly in love with, the one who impairs my ability to think and act like a normal person, it's you. You're the girl of my dreams."

"Shut up, you're just trying to get me out of my date with Tommy, who'll be here in 20 minutes, by the way."

Steve didn't know what else to say, so he walked up to you and grabbed the curling wand out of your hands and unplugged it, setting it down on the table. You stood still in your spot, scared of what Steve would do. The closeness of your bodies definitely made you feel things that you didn't think were appropriate to feel 20 mintues before your date with a different guy. Steve ran his fingers through your newly curled hair, a tactic he had seen you do countless times.

"You, Y/N, are so pretty, you know that? I have three polaroids in my room, you are in all three, but two are just of you. One from when we went swimming and I had jumped in, you were upset because your hair got wet, but the sun came in behind you and I could swear you were glowing, like a goddess. I begged you to go get my camera and you didn't ask why. You didn't expect me to take the photo of you, but god, you smiling down at me like that? I died, right then and there. The other is when you fell asleep on me, after crying your heart out over that stupid fucking guy who stood you up, only to go for some random chick at the mall. I woke you up slightly, your hair was messy, but you were clinging onto me, like a koala, in the same shirt you're wearing now. I couldn't help but take a photo, you looked so fucking cute, even though your eyes were puffy and cheeks red. Y/N, I see beauty in you, in all of you. You make me fucking freeze, because of how much you take my breath away. I have not been able to act like myself, because every time I see you, I want to run up to you and pull you into my lap and kiss those soft lips of yours."

By this point your jaw had dropped, leaving you gawking like some sort of fish. You didn't care what you looked like, you were so surprised that Steve was talking about you like this. You had always harboured a slight crush on him but you shoved those feelings down whenever you saw him with a new girl, especially when he was with Nancy. Steve was still kneeling in front of you, now holding your hands, looking up at you with glossy eyes and a slight smile.

"Y/N, Tommy is here to pick you up!" your mother called from downstairs. Steve's smile faded as you scooted away from him and walked out the door. He fell back onto his butt and scooted until his back hit the bed, head dropping into his hands as he heard you yell "Bye!" and slam the door. Slow foot steps approached him, foot steps that presumably belonged to your mom, who had come to explain that you had left. When he saw your bare legs instead of your mom's, he looked up at you in confusion.

"Why are you here...?" he asked, voice shaking.

You stayed quiet as you pulled his kneeds down and climbed into his lap, shushing him as he stuttered.

"Did you mean what you said?" you whispered, even though you two were the only ones in the room.

"Every last bit." he whispered back.

With some nerve you didn't know you had, you grabbed his cheeks and slowly pulled his face closer to yours, eyes passing back and forth between his own for what felt like hours.

"Kiss me, Harrington."

That was all it took. Steve grabbed your own face and tilted it upwards just to the point where your lips met. It was sweet and soft, surprisingly innocent for the confession that had just spilled out of Steve. When you pulled apart, you blushed at the sight of Steve's own redness.

"I've wanted to do that for slong, Y/N. I don't think I can stop now."

"Please, don't stop. I'm yours to kiss."

"Mine huh? I like the sound of that."

You kissed Steve again, this time with more passion and hunger, as if you were trying to have him take over your senses. Your tongues and teeth clashed but you didn't care because it felt so right to kiss him with so much need.

"So, what happened to Tommy?" Steve asked after he pulled away to breathe, while stroking your cheek.

"Told him he was a prick and that he needed a serious wake up call, then slammed the door in his face. And said bye, because I'm sweet like that!"

"Of course you are, my sweet girl." Steve replied, grinning like a child in a candy store.

It felt right, to hold him, and to be held by him.

#steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington stranger things #steve stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things ships #stranger things s4 #stranger things x reader #steve harrington x y/n #vellarawrites #robin buckley #dustin henderson

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mochamamii · 4 years ago

Text

yandere!taeyong: no secrets.

▹ a/n : hello loves, I chose a really shitty title for this but whatever loll this is something I wrote in like a day, sometimes I write absolute filth for no reason, this is one of those times.

▹ triggers : yandere!au, detailed smut, unprotected sex + creampie, mirror sex, daddy kink but like not super heavy tho

▹ pairing : lee taeyong x chubbyfem!reader

▹ synopsis : keeping secrets from your yandere boyfriend probably isn’t the best idea...unlesss they’re lee taeyong (even then that’s risky bizness my friend.)

••

Taeyong sighed as he stared down at the text message on his phone, his grip on the steering wheel tightening until his knuckles turned white. He peered out the window of his car to glance across the street once more, staring at your apartment building.

He was parked across the street, his car parked far enough away that you wouldn’t be able to recognize his car from someone else’s.

Taeyong was immediately reminded of the lit cigarette he had in his other hand when the unflicked ash fell, slightly singeing the patch of skin on his leg where his ripped skinny jeans had left him exposed. He cursed under his breath, rolling the window down just enough to toss the still lit bud on the ground.

He was so distracted by you, more specifically, the blatant lie he had just caught you in that he completely forgot about his surroundings for a moment, causing him to let the cigarette burn almost entirely without ever flicking the ash.

You see, you and Taeyong have been dating for just a few months now. You were in that weird limbo stage where you were transitioning from casual dating to exclusivity. At least for you that’s how it was.

Taeyong had already moved past that stage months ago. He was serious about you, he was just being courteous by allowing you time to feel the same. But he was steadily growing impatient with you and all your sudden antics.

Things were going perfectly fine in the beginning. You were perfect, every bit of innocence and naivety that Taeyong wanted. You checked off all the boxes for him. And he didn’t need you to tell him that you felt the same way. Which is why it was pissing him off that you seemed to suddenly start pulling away from him slowly.

You’d begun acting strange. Avoiding him lately, whereas before you always obediently jumped at the chance to spend time with him. You also had refused to be intimate with him for a few weeks now, which wouldn’t have been a problem on it’s own. Taeyong was patient when it came to things like that and he was willing to go slow.

But in this instance Taeyong felt he had a right to be upset. Even in the few short months you’d been dating, Taeyong had managed to turn you into a full on nympho. Molding you into his perfect little sex kitten, ready to do whatever he wanted and whenever. What changed?

All of these things, amongst others, have led Taeyong to conclude that you obviously must be seeing another man. What else could it be? Things were going so well and then you suddenly changed up without any explanation.

And most recently Taeyong had caught you red handed in a lie.

He texted you earlier in the day to ask if he could come and see you. You replied back saying you had been at work. An obvious lie because Taeyong had been parked outside your house since last night, watching your front door to see if he could catch anyone coming in or out. He felt bad for stalking you, especially since he vowed to himself that he would try to be less invasive this time around.

He really liked you and didn’t want to scare you off.

So he left, giving up after nearly four hours of watching your house and not seeing anything out of the ordinary. He had only come back this afternoon in hopes that he might catch you on your lunch break. You worked nearby and it wasn’t uncommon for you to come home during this time.

He got excited when he pulled up to see your car parked out front already, the need to see you face to face building inside him. He hadn’t seen you in nearly a week, you claimed you were swamped with work and that’s why you didn’t have much time to spend with him like you normally did. Taeyong could tell you were lying to him, he had to stop himself from marching up to your apartment right then and there confronting you about your lies.

But he wanted to be sure. He needed concrete proof that he was right about what had been going on with you.

So he texted you a second time, asking if you had decided to come home for lunch today. He had seen you upstairs in your bedroom window, moving around, he knew you were home. If you texted him back with a different response he could confirm you were lying to him.

Unsurprisingly enough, you replied back, saying you were still at work and would probably be working late tonight.

He scoffed as he reread your message. Rolling his eyes in annoyance as he peered up at your bedroom window, straining his eyes to try and see what you were doing exactly.

Taeyong stayed put in the car for a while, trying to decide what the best course of action would be. He wanted to just march up there to you but he didn’t know what he’d even say.

Quite frankly, Taeyong was a little embarrassed. He wished he didn’t feel so affected by you. If it were any other girl he’d have dropped them a long time ago, deciding they weren’t worth the trouble.

But this was you we were talking about...His precious baby girl, the girl who he was actively trying to change for. He had been pegged as the crazy, overbearing, sometimes even violent boyfriend by nearly all of his ex’s.

They weren’t wrong actually. Taeyong was all of those things. But he was trying to suppress that kind of behavior just for you. He wanted you to want him too, he didn’t want to feel like he was trapping you into a relationship with him. Things were so different with you.

As angry and as hurt Taeyong was because of you lying to him, he still couldn’t bring himself to actually be angry with you. He was upset about the situation, but not at you. Honestly, once he saw you in person he wasn’t sure if he’d want to raise his voice and yell at you, or bury his head between your thick thighs.

God...it had been so long since he was inside you.

Only a week actually, but even that was too long for Taeyong.

Not wanting to sit and wrestle with his thoughts any longer Taeyong climbed out of the car. He jogged up the front steps to your door, trying to measure his breathing as he did so. He almost raised his hand to knock until he remembered you always kept a spare under a nearby potted plant.

He had to check under a few before he picked up the right one.

With your spare key now in hand, Taeyong could slip through the front door quietly. Even though during his stakeouts he never saw anyone go in or out of the house he still wondered if there was a chance you were being unfaithful. If not that, what else could it be?

Whatever it was, he was going to confront you about it today. No longer would he be left in the dark like this.

He unlocked the door, slipping in as quiet as a mouse. He pushed the door closed behind him, gently as not to alert you, wherever you were in the house. He kicked his shoes off at the door, knowing he’d be much quieter with sock clad feet instead of the heavy boots he had on previously.

Taeyong’s ears perked up as he heard you drop something on the floor upstairs. Considering the part of the ceiling he heard the noise from he guessed you were in the bathroom upstairs. Taeyong’s feet carried him up the stairs to your bedroom, the door was left open ajar already.

Carefully, he peeked through the crack to ensure you weren’t in the bedroom, even through the tiny space in the doorway Taeyong could see your figure standing in the bathroom connected to your bedroom. He pushed the door open enough to slip inside.

Taeyong stood under the arch of the doorway to your bathroom, watching you with curious eyes, your back was facing him so you were still unaware of his presence behind you, he could see you were struggling to open something.

Taeyong was about to speak up and announce himself to you until he took quick note of how your frustration turned to panic as you furiously twisted and pulled at the cap of…a pill bottle?

Now Taeyong was really curious.

With one last heave you released a large puff of air as the cap twisted off the bottle, Taeyong quickly sprung into action, taking two long strides across the expanse of the bedroom to get to where you stood in the bathroom.

He was too late though and you had already swallowed one of whatever those pills were.

“Taeyong?” You jumped, startled as Taeyong snatched one of your wrists to spin you around to face him.

Your cheeks turned red as you tried to inconspicuously hide your other hand that still held the bottle of pills behind your back.

“Give it.” Is all Taeyong said, his grip on your wrist tightening.

You shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other, whenever Taeyong spoke in that demanding tone of his you’d always instantly obey and comply with whatever it was he wanted, not wanting to piss him off further.

But this time…this time you just couldn’t. You were too embarrassed, your hand felt frozen in place behind your back.

Growling, Taeyong spun you around and pushed you against the bathroom counter, pinning your arm behind your back as he retrieved the bottle of pills for himself.

You nearly toppled over because of his quick movements catching you so off guard. His firm hold on your arm pinned behind your back, catapulted you into the bathroom counter, your breasts plopping against the cool marble countertop.

Taeyong squinted his eyes to read the tiny print on the bottle, “What are these?” He asked, unfamiliar with the name of the pills.

You glanced up at him in the mirror, his jaw clenching as he tried to decipher what the long complicated name printed on the bottle meant.

It was as if you’d forgotten how to speak. Everything had happened so quickly and your mind was still taking a minute to process it all.

You had spent months trying to keep this one secret hidden from Taeyong. You went to any lengths possible if it meant protecting your secret. Even lying to him when necessary, which had become pretty frequent as of late.

All of it was catching up with you now.

Today would probably mark the end of your relationship, you were sure of it, there’s no way Taeyong would even be able to stomach the sight of you once he knows the truth. He’d probably think you were pathetic, too pathetic to be his girlfriend.

And you just couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eye as your tower of lies came crashing down around you.

Your head fell, hanging shamefully as you tried to ignore Taeyong’s burning gaze.

Taeyong was growing impatient with you, wanting answers and wanting them now. His fingers tangled themselves in your hair, gripping your roots not so gently as he pulled your head back to force you to stare straight ahead, so you were looking directly at him in the mirror.

Your back arched instinctively as you stretched your body out to follow his hand, wincing slightly in pain as you did so.

“Tae…what are you doing here?-

You were cut off by Taeyong slamming his hips into your backside, pinning your own hips firmly against the counter as he trapped you under his weight. His hand in your hair moved to wrap around your throat from behind.

“I’m growing impatient with you Y/N. Tell me now and stop avoiding the question.” Taeyong said

“Tell me.”

Your eyes were slightly red, a little teary as you nervously glanced up at him once before parting your lips to speak.

Your eyes searched his black ones for approval, it’s like you were silently asking him without saying it,

Will you still want me after this?

Taeyong only softened temporarily as he took note of your reluctance, he used his free hand to rub small circles on your back to soothe you.

“T-They’re…appetite suppressants.” You answered shamefully.

Taeyong’s grip on you loosened as he listened.

“Appetite Suppressants?” He echoed, glancing down at the bottle and back at you.

Taeyong felt foolish and annoyed. You had been so secretive and sneaky lately, he was sure it was because you had another man in your life, not diet pills?

Taeyong screwed the cap of the bottle off with ease, dumping the rest of the pills down the toilet.

You had to swallow an audible groan. You had paid good money for those pills. They weren’t cheap over the counter pills, you had gone to your doctor to have them prescribe something stronger for you. Watching the pills be carelessly flushed down the toilet made you wince internally.

“You don’t need these. Stop taking them.” Taeyong demanded as he placed the empty bottle down on the counter.

“Understand?” He asked you, displeased with your lack of response.

“But…Taeyong. I need those.” You breathed softly, slowly raising up from the sink to turn around and face him.

“I need them Taeyong. I can’t just give them up, not yet, not till I’m-

“Why not?” He questioned.

Fat, ugly tears started to roll down your cheeks as you swallowed the lump in your throat, “I’m still not perfect enough for you yet.” You whispered softly.

It was hard to say it out loud but it was true. You constantly felt like a tub of lard next to Taeyong. You didn’t want to feel that way anymore. You wanted to walk beside him with pride. You couldn’t do that. Not yet at least. Not with your current body.

Taeyong really didn’t like that you were fighting him on this. You were so naturally submissive, always going out of your way to avoid conflict with people especially Taeyong, he could say almost anything and you would listen and obey to whatever he wanted or expected from you.

Mostly because it was just in your nature to be more on the submissive side, but also because you felt like you were incredibly lucky to have someone like Taeyong, who were you to be making demands?

Even when there were times that you disagreed on something and wanted to vocalize your opinion, Taeyong would whisper in your ear how much he loved you and how you just needed to let go and trust him.

Usually it worked too.

But Taeyong was in no mood to be that gentle with you, not that it would matter anyways. This is the one thing you know that you will always fight him on.

Your body.

Taeyong never entertained any conversations with you when it came to your weight and feeling insecure about your body. He waved them off as you being “silly” or something like that.

It wasn’t that Taeyong didn’t care. It’s just that he’s a yandere and has never known how to process any of his feelings in a relatively healthy way.

It’s easier for him to ignore the issue rather than confront it. He’s afraid he won’t know how to make you feel better. He doesn’t know how he can make you see the beauty that he sees.

“Don’t make me the reason that you’re desecrating your body this way.” Taeyong hissed, landing a harsh slap against your ass cheek for emphasis.

You yelped, already feeling the numb burning sensation spread across your afflicted skin.

Taeyong grabbed hold of your hair again, raising the top half of your body off the counter until your back was pressed flush up against his chest. He snaked one arm around your waist, locking you in place against him whilst the other remained tangled in your hair.

Your head fell back against his shoulder as you followed his hand to escape the painful friction at your roots.

You fell into place so naturally against Taeyong, your bodies molding together so perfectly.

Taeyong loved the way your body was so soft and squishy, he loved your thick full curves, your deliciously plump body is what had initially attracted him to you.

How could you possibly think that something already so perfect needed to be changed?

Taeyong pressed a gentle kiss to your neck, moving to nibble at your sensitive earlobe, “Darling. What’s it gonna take, hm?”

“What’s it gonna take to get you to stop obsessing over this?” Taeyong asked, his free hand beginning to roam your body.

“To stop…saying all these mean things about yourself?” Taeyong’s voice trailed as his hand slid down the length of your abdomen, his long slender fingers gliding across all of your rolls and stretch marks.

All you had on was an oversized t-shirt, Taeyong’s to be exact. One that he’d left over here before.

Seeing you in his clothes sent waves of electricity directly to the head of his cock, making him harden. He wanted you to wear his clothes all of the time, he wanted his smell to linger on your skin, letting everyone know you were his.

As much as he loved seeing you in his shirt he couldn’t wait to rip it off you.

Especially now with the way your hard nipples were poking through the thin cotton material, practically begging him to turn you around and assault them with his teeth and tongue.

He couldn’t wait.

He was going to do every dirty, lewd thing imaginable to you tonight. No part of your body would be left untouched once he was done.

He needed you to know that you’re beautiful. He had to show you just how in love with you and your body that he was. He didn’t know how to translate those feelings into words, just action.

Taeyong released his hold on your hair to be able to use both of his hands as he groped and fondled your body.

His hands moved up to your breasts, cupping them in his warm large hands through your shirt.

He kneaded them, moving to tug at your nipples through the fabric to make you mewl.

“Do you feel that baby?” Taeyong asked as he rolled his hips into your backside, his cock standing at full attention now, allowing you to easily feel his erection through his jeans.

“Do you see how badly I want you? Look at how hard I am and I’ve barely touched you.” Taeyong said , groaning as he rocked his hips against you once more. Loving the feeling of your round backside rubbing up against his cock. You were wet already and growing impatient with Taeyong’s teasing. Your clit throbbed painfully, desperately needing attention. You rutted your backside back against Taeyong, begging him to take you already.

Taeyong raised one of your legs up to rest on top of the counter, giving him perfect access to your pussy.

His shirt on you wasn’t long enough to cover the full expanse of your ass so as your leg raised up on the counter, your glistening folds were revealed to him.

“Do you think you deserve to cum? After all you’ve done, all the sneaking around and the hiding? Do you really think I should give you any relief?” Taeyong teased as he used his fingers to slide up and down your slick slit, collecting your juices on his fingers.

“Please…” You begged with a pout, pushing back against him as you felt his fingers on you.

“Aht. Aht. No moving around or I’ll have to pin you against the counter like before.” He threatened as he stopped you from grinding your hips down against his fingers.

Feeling defeated you sighed, relaxing into his touch as you tried not to think about how badly you wanted to cum.

“Don’t look away from the mirror or I’ll stop.” Taeyong warned.

You nearly turned your head away momentarily to peek at what he was doing but decided against it at the last second.

Taeyong knelt down until he was level with your pussy. His warm breath fanned your skin sending shivers down your spine.

Taeyong’s soft wet tongue licked a single stripe along your slit, stopping at your clit to give it a single kiss before enclosing his soft lips around your bundle of nerves.

Your mouth dropped open as a moan fell past your lips.

Taeyong’s tongue worked quickly, alternating between lapping at your folds and sucking on your engorged clit.

You gripped the edge of the counter for support. You wanted to pull away from him when the pleasure became too intense but he smacked your ass whenever you moved so much as an inch away.

He released your clit from his mouth with an audible popping sound as he did so. Standing back up at his full height Taeyong took pleasure in seeing the way your eyes followed him in the mirror, eagerly waiting for his next move.

Taeyong unbuckled his belt and tugged his jeans down just enough, his cock bouncing up and slapping his abdomen as he released it from the confines of his briefs. A bead of precum was leaking from his head. Taeyong teased you by rubbing the head of his cock against your folds.

“Do you want to come? Wanna come as I pound this perfect pussy of yours with my cock? I don’t think you deserve it. You’ve been a bad kitten lately haven’t you? Sneaking around, hiding things from me, saying awful things about yourself, and making me worry…” Taeyong said, resting his chin against your shoulder as he met your gaze in the mirror.

“I’m sorry…” You whimpered, grinding your ass back against him.

“Are you really though?” Taeyong asked, his eyes narrowing at you.

“Yes. I’m so sorry.” You whined, growing desperate for release.

“Are you ever going to do something like this again, kitten?” He asked, slipping his hands under your shirt to roll your nipples in between his fingers.

“I won’t. I swear.”

Taeyong smirked, loving the sound of desperation in your voice.

“Do you promise? Tell daddy you promise to never do this again and he’ll give you what you want okay?”

He didn’t have to tell you twice before you were repeating over and over like a mantra, “I promise I’ll never do it again, daddy.” You fluttered your lashes at him in the mirror, hoping he’d sense your sincerity.

That was all Taeyong needed to see before backing up and sinking his cock deep into your pussy.

He groaned as your walls hungrily sucked him in, greedily accepting every inch of him.

You arched your back, raising your ass even higher in the air for him.

Taeyong was relentless in how he fucked you. His nails painfully dug into the flesh on your soft hips as he held onto them for support whilst he pounded you from behind.

“Do you hear how wet you are? This pussy is practically milking my cock.” Taeyong moaned, his eyes never leaving yours in the mirror.

He was right. You were so wet, the obscene squelching noises your pussy was making around his cock bounced off the four walls of the bathroom.

“Taeyong…” You moaned.

He moved one hand off your hip to rest against your hand that was lying on the counter, he grabbed your hand to lace your fingers together.

“That’s right baby. Look at yourself, look at how well you’re taking my cock…such a good girl for me, my beautiful good girl.”

You could’ve come right then and there just because of how dirty the words coming from Taeyong’s mouth were.

You felt warm and happy as he praised you, calling you a good girl for taking him so well.

Taeyong continued drilling into you, never losing the rhythm he had set or the speed he was going at. He kept repeating in your ear over and over how pretty you looked and how beautiful you were.

Usually compliments like that went in one ear and out the other, you never liked to dwell on them for long because you just didn’t believe them.

But now…right here, right now. Watching yourself in the mirror as Taeyong fucked you, the faces you were making, and the way your body instinctively rolled and grinded back against him.

Even you couldn’t deny the beauty of the scene before you.

You could see him in the mirror, watching as his hands gripped and groped at your flesh, his desire and want for you evident on his face, evident in the manner at which he was thrusting deep inside you as if his life depended on it.

Thrusting with a desperation that matched yours, you needed this, to feel him inside of you, filling and stretching your walls with a subtle sweet pain.

“Taeyong, I’m gonna come.” You warned, feeling yourself clench around him.

The essence of your shared arousal started to drip down your thigh.

“Then come for me.” Taeyong answered, reaching his hand around your waist to rub your clit, propelling you further into your state of euphoria.

You rocked your hips back against him, chasing after your own orgasm.

You moved to throw your head back and rest it on his shoulder but Taeyong was quick to push your head forward, reminding you with a slap on your ass to not look away from the mirror.

“I want you to watch as you come on my cock.” Taeyong growled, determination clear in his voice as he unsheathed his cock completely from your warmth only to slam his hips back into yours.

You squealed as Taeyong angled his thrusts upward to hit your g-spot. Your eyes welled with tears, and your hand gripped the edge of the counter as you braced yourself.

It only took Taeyong a few more strokes before you were clenching around him uncontrollably, your pussy creaming on his cock. You collapsed on the counter, too tired to hold yourself up anymore. You winced a little as Taeyong continued to drill into you, the pleasure turning into a slight burn as he overstimulated you.

You wiggled your hips, trying to bring your hiked up leg down from the counter whilst also inching away from Taeyong’s thrusts.

“Stay still.” Taeyong grunted, pinching your outer thigh.

Taeyong abused your poor cunt until he was ready to fill you with his seed. He made sure he was stuffed deep inside of you when he painted your walls with his cum.

Once the two of you had caught a minute to catch your breath, Taeyong carefully pulled out of you, making a mess between your thighs as he did so. Your empty pussy was now clenching on air, inadvertently pushing Taeyong’s cum out of your hole causing it to run down your inner thighs.

Taeyong leaned down to kiss the back of your neck, whispering sweet nothings in your ear as you came down from your high.

Finally, Taeyong pushed himself off of you to allow you to rise up from the counter. He turned you around to face him so he could properly kiss you on the lips.

“Wait, where are you going?” Taeyong asked as you kissed him before untangling your limbs from his.

“To shower?” You answered, one hand already on the nozzle of the tap to turn the shower on.

You were a sweaty, sticky mess, in desperate need of a nice long shower.

Taeyong smirked, pulling you back into his chest, “We’re still not done here.”

Your face must’ve said it all because before you got the chance to whine about being tired Taeyong was already pressing you up against the wall.

“Spread your legs again. Nice and wide for me...Daddy’s going to make sure you get all clean again…”

#nct x reader #nct taeyong #nct smut #nct smut reactions #nct yandere smut #nct yandere #yandere smut #yandere nct #chubby reader #chubby smut #chubby!reader #lee taeyong #lee taeyong smut #taeyong smut #yandere taeyong

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husbandohunter · 4 years ago

Note

A Furry Predicament, but reversed (Reader turns into a cat)? Pretty please with a sweet lil cherry on top? (I recently stumbled across your blog and may I just say that I absolutely adore your works??) Thank youu and take care~~

A Furrier Predicatment [Genshin x Cat!Reader]

♤♡◇♧☆

Synopsis: It's your turn to be a cat after this incident.

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Xiao, Albedo, Zhongli, Childe, Venti

(A/n): Ah you did OwO that's very sweet of you. It's alot of fun to write, especially when your imagination is stunted and you just gotta spit out something silly.

=======================

[Diluc]

Any beloved pet owned by Master Diluc would be under the most high quality and meticulous treatement. Mostly for cats since they tend to be calm while elegant...to some extent. If they were dogs then he'll ensure that they also serve as a partner for sniffing out trouble such as a certain bard who'd might've sneaked into the wine cellars. But you weren't either, so to say, you were both a beloved AND a cat.

As he picks you up gently into his arms, Diluc would be a little baffled on what to do next. He has no idea how to care for delicate creatures as he never had one (other than a pet tortoise but that's different) in which he needed to look for help. But who? The staff? Certainly not, no one can find out that his partner turned into a pet (imagine all the scandals he'll be in). Jean? Anything but the knights of Favonius. And most certainly not his brother.

So Diluc ends up figuring everything out by himself (old habits die hard). All the sweets and regular meals you craved were no long in your menu, you were forced to have a proper cat diet because he believed it was healthier. Half of the time he has no idea what he's doing, since you were a cat and all you could do was "meow" (which Diluc forgets. He tries to have a mundane conversation until you stare at him with feline eyes. That was when he remembered).

"What would you like for tonight's dinner, my love?"

"Meow." He has alot to learn.

Though Master Diluc often gets very tired and he attempts to take a quick nap before killing himself over the next set of duties. That is, until you could help it. Being a cat has it's furry and comfy advantages. So you leapt up to the bed as quietly as possible and onto the side of your lover, circling a few times to see if he was really asleep. When he was you snuggled close to keep him warm, hoping it would lull him into a rest even deeper. He slept like a baby.

~xx~

[Kaeya]

If the Cavalry Capatain were to own a pet, they would either be charmed by him or snaring their teeth because of his unreadable and suspicious aura. Animal instincts are quite powerful. But your case wasn't the latter, thankfully and he could feel himself growing fond of this new found relationship. Almost. What should he do with you now that you're a cat, Kaeya wonders.

Belly rubs and a lot of them. He absolutely adores the way your cute little nose scrunches up while he runs his fingers on the center of your tummy (though he knows when to stop, Kaeya is rather gentle with you nowadays). You found that he absolutely adores the shape of your nose, would pick you up and boop yours with his own somehow knows how to be his flirty self despite your unusual form.

There was this one incident where you saw something shiny flashing over the wall. Slowly you followed it as the bright dot moved futher and further away, evetually gaining speed. Little did you know it was Kaeya who was watching you swipe your little paws up and down against the wall while he was just cleaning his sword. How could he help it? You were often so headstrong and independent, now you were just an adorable little kitten that loves to play with yarn and shiny things. It backfired him though, now there were a bunch of scratchmarks marring the surfaces (which he had to pay for repairs).

Takes you out to Windrise so that you could get some fresh air (also for you to find somewhere else to shed your fur other than his humble abode). Kaeya sits back under a tree while you either chase a butterfly or start slapping against the dandelions (only sneeze when they fly into your face). He wasn't sure if you were aware of what you were doing right now, if you were then he'll have lots of things to talk about once you turn back into human. If not, then at least he had the opportunity to witness such a soft side coming from you.

~xx~

[Xiao]

If any animal were to go close towards the adeptus, they would run away. Xiao isn't very good at interacting with others, pets included, usually they would run into the alleyway or hide around the legs of their owners while he glaringly, blankly stares at them (Even though he wouldn't admit it, Xiao thinks to himself, how soft is cat fur?) Now he gets to touch your cat form and turns out that fur is very ticklish yet pleasant against his skin.

Would be the most awkward conversationalist, the poor yaksha was already terrible with his words (often coming out harsh so he prefers to either keep away or say nothing at all) and even with you sometimes, now it was almost impossible to communicate. Xiao is not very good at reading a cat's body language. When you want him to hold you again, you'd walk in circles. He assumes you were hungry and leaps out the window to go fetch some fish...for the nth time there was a pile of raw salmon stacking upon the floor. Xiao thinks that maybe salmon species weren't to your liking, hence he does out to find another one.

As he plays his flute, you'd magically doze off on his lap. (There was one thing that you both can communicate with at last). Slowly but surely, he comes to learn the different gestures you make for certain situations. You often rub yourself upon his leg which he had heard to be a cat's way of claiming their territory. That was when Xiao picks you up, FINALLY. Though the real reason why it took him this long was because he was hesitant to hold you. He never really held a pet so naturally he has no idea how to hold a cat. Ends up cradling you in his arms because it seemed to be a safer option <3

"I never thought I'd be able to hold you like this," Xiao softly says to your lazy form, observing the way your ears perked up at the sound of his voice, "But I...forget it. We can stay like this for the time being, if you'd like. If not, that's fine too."

You stay.

~xx~

[Albedo]

The only pets Albedo had were for his alchemic experiments (plus they were put in cages too). Fact be told, he would make a terrible pet owner with the lifestyle he has now. The alchemist would be so absorbent into his work that he'll most likely forget that he has someone to feed and by the time he realized it, they would have already starved to death. After hearing glass bottles crashing to the floor, Albedo bursts into the rooms as the smoke fills it completely, finding a cat lost between it. The cat was you. He knows because he made the potions.

Sometimes he'd a little too scientific for his own good. Albedo assumed that when you turned into a cat, you've gone into cat mode and ends up treating you as such. "No, don't go near any bodies of water. You wouldn't like it." He almost forgets that you were once human which is very much like him if you had to be honest. Though when he does find out that you still carried human traits, Albedo must find ways to adapt things to your liking.

He makes your food himself. He's not a cook but he sure is good at everything he does, even if it's something he never did before. This goes for other areas too such as the size of your bed, if you need a little couch to stay on or maybe some tools to play around. (The only time when he is a good pet owner). In his sketchbook he'd have a bunch of blueprints and contraptions of what to make next. There's something enjoyable when spoiling you, those little reactions when you're pleased, like the twitch of your whiskers or the lift of your tail. Albedo finds is very cute.

On top of all that, he could also make you a potion to turn you back into normal. It seemed that it was the last thing he thought of on the list. Albedo was too occupied with treating you like a cat that it all flew over his head until now. Time flies when you're having fun.

~xx~

[Zhongli]

Unlike Albedo, anyone who has Zhongli as a pet owner would be considered to be a very lucky animal. He radiates a calm and serene aura that gives the perfect environment to have infinite nap times. People look at this man and wonder why his pet never gives him any trouble, especially when cats were considered to be both fiesty and needy. But they just didn't know that the cat was you (not like it would make a difference, any animal would know that Zhongli was no ordinary man).

How on earth does he know what you're saying? Maybe it's because he was once an archon. You could meow and he knows exactly what you would like to snack on. You could tilt your head, he takes it that you were curious on what he was currently doing (which was exactly what you were wondering), you can say nothing at all yet as if he could read your mind, Zhongli comes over to pet you with his gloved hands.

"How can I tell? Indeed it is because you're my lover, of course. Throughout this time we spent together, I've come to learn the way you speak through your eyes. They seem to hold true no matter what form you take. It's rather comforting."

Though there were many moments where you sneak up behind Zhongli. His hair, his ponytail- so long. Must play with. As you jump up and down with his thin strand swings side to side, it'll take a few seconds for him to decipher what your were doing. The minute he turns around he catches you with his hands midair and laughs heartfully. Cats were very endearing creatures.

~xx~

[Childe]

Back home in Snezhnaya, Childe would probably have owned a dog or two. They were mostly meant for hunting purposes, big and large furry creatures with thick skin suitable to endure the harsh cold. He has dogs because cats hate him for some strange reason. They either hiss or snootly turn their backs on him, one time he picked one up as a kid but his face bleeding after the cat scratched him with their paws. But of course you wouldn't do that to him. You would never~ he was your cutie pie anyways.

He was an obnoxious hugger, not gentle at all. Childe forgets his strength as a human man and when he squeezes you tightly against his chest, you'd spike out on all ends because by the archons, you're suffocating. But it was your fault for feeling so comfy and warm! Similar to Kaeya, they're both obnoxious but Childe deemed himself to be even worse. He'd rub his face against yours, commenting on how sensitive it sways. Tonia once told him that she wanted a pet cat instead, maybe he should also bring you back to his homeland now.

Yes he would love to play with you. Bring in the cat toys...or not. This was the eleventh Fatui Harbinger, what were you thinking? Normal cat activities? Not here. He's gonna teach you how to hunt like how he taught his dogs to hunt in Snezhnaya. You gave him the most deadpanned and dissapointed look with your large feline glare. Not only was he disliked by cats but he certainly was not good with them.

Though he can take it down a notch sometimes and just indulge in relaxing activities. When there was nothing else for him to do or when he was just tired after a productive day, he'd sit by the kitchen and you on top of the table. While you yawned and leaned down for a nap, Childe plays with the small of your paws to the soft edge of your nails. If he taps your nose, your whiskers twitch. Your ears are nice, maybe he should get you a headband version once you turned back to human.

You immediately wake up when he touches your tail.

~xx~

[Venti]

Achoo!

You sometimes wonder how is it that the anemo archon was able to live through 2000 years without getting beaten up by a cat. If andrius was a large cougar than a wolf, maybe he wouldn't be an archon now. Which is why you are to stay miles far far away from him unless you want the whole of Mondstadt to be blown away by the wind.

Wears a mask (as if this were the covid19 pandemic), although it doesn't take away all his problems, at least it'll minimize it. Venti always has a box of tissues ready but you can tell by the puffiness of his eyes that he's been sneezing alot. He really tries his hardest to pitch in every once in a while when Albedo was working on a cure for you to go back to normal. Though acts as if he was quarantined by staying all the way at the other side of the room.

"Ahahaha don't mind me. It's your local bard of Mondstadt dropping by to see how things are going. I wanna make sure how long it will take for you to make the potion? Just curious!"

No hugs, cuddles or anything involving close proximity. This makes Venti very pouty and impatient. Albedo finds it very hard to concentrate with all the sniffling and sneezing that he had no choice but to kick him out. It didn't help that the location was Dragonspine, now he was sneezing even more.

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blu-joons · 3 years ago

Text

BEST FRIEND NCT A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Huang Renjun

A ⇴ ATTENTION

Even though he was far away, Renjun still liked to have an eye on you. He would constantly text you, or text your family if he wasn’t able to get a hold of you to make sure that you were taking care of yourself well.

B ⇴ BICKER

Most of the time the two of you would bicker over text, for example if one of you tried to get the other to sleep then you’d protest and assure them that it wasn’t too late and that you could stay and talk, or when the other planned to ship something over, you’d bicker about not wasting your money on each other.

C ⇴ COMFORT

Any time that he spoke to you on the phone, Renjun could tell straight away when something wasn’t right. He would push and push until eventually you sat down and told him what the problem was, because as he liked to remind you all the time, he knew you a lot better than you ever gave him the credit for.

D ⇴ DISAGREEMENTS

The two of you hated wasting the limited time that you already had together by disagreeing, your texts and calls were limited at the best of times without spending it squabbling. If an argument felt as if it was brewing between the two of you, one of you would suggest hanging up for five minutes and going to get a drink before coming back onto the call and forgetting about what you had just spoken about.

E ⇴ EARLY YEARS

Neither of you could really remember not knowing one another, it just felt like one of those things that had always been a part of your lives. You were quite glad that you had met each other so young if you were honest because as you got older you wondered whether you would be as close with one another, both feeling as if the getting to know each other process would be a lot more awkward and trickier for you both.

F ⇴ FAMILY

Renjun’s family were the best, they took the best care of you and always were there for you when you needed them. They were constantly updating Renjun on how you were when he felt that you were keeping secrets from them, and if you weren’t able to get a hold of Renjun, they’d assure you that they had spoken to him recently and that he was just busy so that you didn’t have to worry that something had happened.

G ⇴ GETTING TOGETHER

Because of your different time zones, getting together was sometimes difficult, but you tried your best to align your days so that you had a couple of hours when you did call. One of you would have to stay up a little bit later than you wanted most of the time, but it was worth it to be able to talk to each other.

H ⇴ HABITS

The two of you had a habit of talking every day, even when you were both super busy, you’d still at least text one another at some point during the day. Even though you didn’t see each other in person, you still thought about each other a lot and made sure to keep the conversation going when you could.

I ⇴ INSIDE JOKES

You still had plenty of inside jokes despite the fact that you weren’t always together in person, mainly because of how you embarrassed yourselves a lot on calls. You had either fallen asleep on a call or fallen off your chairs when you called one another more than once which the other person made sure not to forget.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

The thing that got Renjun jealous the most was the fact that you had other people around you who got to hang out with you as much as they wanted to, whilst he couldn’t. Whilst he loved seeing you having fun with your friends, at the same time he couldn’t help but wish that he was there too and enjoying the fun rather than having to sit miles away from you and be there only in his imagination whilst looking at the photos.

K ⇴ KICKS

Renjun got a kick out of surprising you, whether that be in person or sending gifts back to you from Korea without telling you. It was very rare for him to tell you when he was coming home for a visit, but what happened more often was you coming home to boxes being shipped with plenty of treats for you inside.

L ⇴ LOVE

He loved how you both still managed to make your friendship work seamlessly despite being miles away from each other. When he first moved away Renjun worried that maybe the two of you would end up slipping away from each other, but if anything, you made more of an effort when the two of you were far apart to make sure that that didn’t happen, talking more on the phone than you ever had done before.

M ⇴ MEETING

The two of you first met when you started school, you’d been together ever since the very start. You found yourselves sat together during one of your lessons, and over time you sat together in your other lessons too, soon being known amongst your other classmates for just how well you got along with each other.

N ⇴ NONSENSE

Whenever he was with you, Renjun always found himself letting go. You had lost count of the funny moments that you had witnessed because of him, knowing that he felt at such incredible ease when he was with you.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

Renjun was obsessed with how caring you were and how you always checked on him despite the distance. You never once lost interest in the things that he did, even if you weren’t able to see them in person.

P ⇴ PRECIOUS MOMENTS

There was no time that meant more to Renjun than when the two of you were able to see each other in person. He loved the feeling of being able to hug you and see the expression on your face when you talked rather than having to figure out how you were feeling through the dodgy pixels on his laptop.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

He loved to ask about you, Renjun loved asking about your days because you told him about home which often helped him, especially when he was feeling homesick and missing some of his favourite spots.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

Both of you carried a photo of one another in your phone cases so that you always had your best friend with you. It was something that Renjun made you do when he first moved away so that you didn’t forget him, and even after so many years you both still carried the photos as your things for each other.

S ⇴ SUPPORT

One thing that always surprised Renjun was how you still supported him even from far away, knowing exactly when he had a broadcast or a show. He never thought that you had such an interest in his career, but you knew exactly what Renjun was doing and always made sure to at least text him a good luck message.

T ⇴ TRIPS

You were the one that he looked forward to seeing the most when Renjun made a trip home. As soon as his plane landed, and he got in the car at the arrivals lounge he was telling the driver to take him to you.

U ⇴ ULTIMATE

He felt incredibly lucky to be able to call you his best friend, Renjun would talk to absolutely anyone about you and brag about you.

V ⇴ VISITS

You would quite often visit Renjun when he was at work as you called him, getting to talk to the other members too. He always accepted your calls and got you involved with what was happening at the studio.

W ⇴ WISDOM

He would try his best to give you as much advice as possible, writing things down so he could remember to say them when he called.

X ⇴ XXXX

When the two of you did spend time together, you were very affectionate with one another. You always made the most of your time together and very rarely were more than an arm away from each other.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his rock, even from afar Renjun always knew that you were there for him.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

He loved giving up his bed for you when you visited Renjun, he wanted you to be as comfortable as possible when you stayed, even if that meant him having to give up his bed so that you could be cosy and relaxed.

---

Masterlist

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loopy-froots · 4 years ago

Text

Childhood Friends

Brahms Heelshire x afab!Reader

Author: @loopy-froots

Word Count: 3261 (WOW wtf…)

Slight request by @leahromanof : small age gap (Brahms is 26-28 and the reader is 20)

Summary: The Reader grew up very close to the Heelshire family, as their parents were business partners with them. However, after the fire incident, Brahms and the Reader took some space from each other. While the Reader knew Brahms was still alive, they didn’t know under the circumstances he was. When a sudden tragedy strikes their family, the Reader is left with no home. The Heelshire family offer their home with welcoming arms, but much has changed between all of them since they have last seen each other.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, swearing, slasher x reader, smut, virgin/unprotected sex (masc and fem), abusive parents (fem), insecurities (on both parts), slight age gap (6ish years?), a slight size kink (if you squint?), etc.

Author’s Note: I wasn’t too sure what to write for the age gap so I hope this is good enough!!! I also threw in a lot of personal needs I’ve been having, so I hope y’all don’t mind! Feel free to let me know your thoughts!!!

~~~

*2nd Person POV*

You couldn’t believe this was happening. You were finally going to see your beloved childhood friend, Brahms Heelshire, again after close to ten years of separation. You wished this was not under these circumstances, as you never intended to cause your family such turmoil.

“Y/n! Come in, why don’t you?” Mr. Heelshire exclaims as he opens his front door. He must have seen you walk up their driveway. You can see Mrs. Heelshire inside, but she shares a concerning expression. Trying to brush it off, you step inside and am greeted by the warmth of the house. It was a terribly chilly winter day, and the walk there exhausted you.

“Come, dear! Let me get you a cup of tea to warm you up! You look rather frozen!” Mrs. Heelshire snaps out of her funk and laughs al0ng with her husband. Their jovial attitude makes you feel rather welcomed and loved.

“I cannot thank you enough, Mr. and Mrs. Heelshire… I… I’m terribly sorry that this all happened… especially so suddenly…” You look down with embarrassment.

“Nonsense! We’re always happy to have you, Y/n! Our home is yours!” Mr. Heelshire smiles at you, but you get a somewhat urgent vibe from him. You’re not sure how to feel about it, but you figure since they’re being ever so kind you were in no position to question.

“Now, dear… why don’t you tell us exactly what happened… Perhaps we may help with your parents’ situation?” Mrs. Heelshire gently suggests, but you shake your head in disagreement.

“Unfortunately, I’m not sure that’s possible… you see, I recently came out to my parents as non-binary… they’ve never been overly supportive of that kind of stuff, but I knew I couldn’t hide myself any longer…” You explain shamefully.

“Oh my… that is a rather difficult predicament, hm? However, we want you to know that we fully support you… in fact, our own Brahms considers himself genderfluid,” Mrs. Heelshire shares, which honestly makes you feel less alone.

“Really? I… I had no idea… Thank you, but speaking of which… where is Brahms…? Does he still live with you?” You wonder.

“Oh, um… yes… he does, but he’s grown to be rather… timid… so he doesn’t always come out when people are visiting…” Mr. Heelshire explains swiftly, and you try to understand. You don’t fully know what he’s been through, so who are you to judge his social anxieties?

“That’s alright. Well, I just hope he knows how excited I am to see him again…” You confess, causing a surprised reaction from the Heelshire couple.

“Really? Well, that’s certainly wonderful! I’m sure he'll become more open to meeting you after he gets used to you being in the house…” Mrs. Heelshire states with a gentle smile, and you nod your head in agreement.

With that, you are then taken on a tour of the house. You’re shown areas you can and cannot wander to, and you mentally note each location that’s off limits. You’d never want to make the Heelshires uncomfortable, despite how curious you were. They show you to your room, which you immediately recognize as Brahms’ childhood room.

“Oh wow! This looks exactly how I remembered it!” You giggle.

“I’m glad you’re fond of it still, as Brahms insisted you take his room for your own… comfort…” Mr. Heelshire shares, but something tells you he’s not entirely being honest. However, you ignore the feeling bubbling up in your stomach.

“Well, feel free to unpack your things dear. As we mentioned before, we are planning on going on a trip within the next few days. So it will be just you and Brahms for a while…” Mrs. Heelshire reminds you, and you shiver slightly for some reason.

“Oh, yes… Well, I hope the two of you enjoy it!” You politely respond.

~~~

“Goodbye, dear! And remember, follow the rules and you’ll get no trouble from our dear Brahms!” The Heelshires bid you farewell and leave in their cab. Closing the door, you sigh in relief.

“Alright, follow the rules… I can do that… it’s the least I can do since they were so kind as to let me stay for a while…” You motivate yourself.

“Y/n…” A sudden familiar, childlike voice echoes through the house. You looked around to see who it came from, but you saw no one. It had to be Brahms, right? Who else could it have been, but where was he?

“B-Brahms?” You sheepishly call out. You hear no answer and suddenly feel quite stupid. Maybe you just heard the shifting of the house or imagined someone was calling your name?

“Alright, focus… first things first, making some lunch… hopefully he’ll come down to eat with me…?” You hope. You could’ve sworn you heard another childish giggle somewhere, but you try to shake the skittish feeling building up. You quickly make whatever you feel like for lunch, desperate to finish so that you can call Brahms down to eat.

“Um, Brahms? I… lunch is done… if you want some?” You yell throughout the house, but you hear no answer. Finally feeling defeat, you turn back to the kitchen and notice that one of the plates of food has disappeared.

“How did he get to it without me noticing?” You ask out loud. Every instinct within you tells you that something was wrong, but you tried your best to give the man some time to adjust to the new living situation.

“Y/n…?” In the middle of eating, you hear a now more adult version of the voice you heard earlier. You drop your fork in surprise and frantically look around for the source. You then see a tall and scruffy looking man standing at the end of the dining room. He was holding the plate that is now empty, and you figure that must be Brahms. He was very odd looking, in all honesty. He wore a porcelain mask that resembles the type of little dollies you used to keep as a kid.

“Oh, um… h-hello, Brahms…?” You try to be friendly towards him, despite the creepy feeling you got from him already. However, him not answering causes the suspicion to form again.

“Um… did you enjoy the meal I made for you?” You try to spark a conversation, but Brahms nonverbally nods in response.

“That’s good! I’m… glad…” You smile awkwardly at him, but his masked face remains expressionless. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, and Brahms notices the tense state you’re in. He begins to step closer to you, and sets his plate on the table. Sweating profusely, you wonder what he’s doing. He steps closer and closer to you until he’s directly in front of you. While you sit, he towers over you. You’d never admit it, but he’s very intimidating. However, you try your best to be polite.

“Is… everything alright, Brahms?” You ask innocently. He just stares at you, though, never saying a word. When you were about to get up and try to walk away, he grabs your arm and pulls you into him.

“B-Brahms…?!” You exclaim as he squeezes you in his broad arms. He’s rather warm, but trembling. Your heart relaxes when you realize he only wanted a hug.

“Y/n… nice to see you again…” He finally peeps out. Your cheeks heat up, but you lean into the embrace. The two of you just hold onto each other for a few moments, enjoying each other’s presence.

“Good to see you, too! I was worried you were upset with me for coming back after such a long time…” You try to pull away and look him in the eyes, but his grip keeps you there.

“Mm, no… not upset… lonely…” He breathes into your ear, sending a chill down your back. He was… lonely? That makes you feel bad… really bad… how could you leave him like you did after the incident?! It wasn’t completely your fault, as you parents were the main reason you stayed away. They told you what a dangerous person Brahms was, and they forbid you from being influenced by him in any way.

Additionally, your parents never liked how fond the two of you seemed towards each other, despite the slight age difference you had. Brahms was only six years older, and to you it didn’t matter for terms of friendship. However, your parents saw the attraction Brahms had towards you right away. As children, it only developed into a little crush, but the older the two of you got the more obvious it became, to the adults at least. You seemed quite oblivious to his attempts to woo you, as you had just thought he was being friendly.

“I…I’m sorry, Brahms… I should’ve… I wish I’d have… I’m sorry…” Tear well in your eyes as you look down from his gaze. Your focus then shifts to the ever growing bulge in his pants that you hadn’t noticed before.

“It’s alright… happy you’re here now…” Brahms strokes your hair with his free hand, and he leans into you. You feel him stroke your neck with his nose, seemingly trying to get a reaction out of you. Completely frozen, you felt unsure of what to do. All of the sudden, your head’s ideas clicked and made you realize the years of yearning he’d been doing for you.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t still have feelings for the boy you grew up with. You always admired how protective he was of you. You never admitted your affection towards him, though, as you thought he might react negatively. To you, the age difference acted as a barrier, but to him, it seemed he didn’t mind in the slightest. All he’s ever known was his love for you, despite the age gap. However, is this still the same boy as before? You probably barely knew him anymore. Then why were you getting so flustered over this simple interaction?

“Brahms?” You look back into his eyes with a curious glint. What was he planning with you?

“Hm?” He nonchalantly answers.

“Are you…?” You start, but then feel too embarrassed to finish.

“Yes,” He agrees without needing you to explain. You feel him jerk his hips into your stomach softly, desperate to get some friction between the two of you. As intoxicating as he was being, you still felt unsure of your stance with him.

“I’m not sure I want to… I mean, this is so soon… don’t you think?” You try to reason mainly with yourself to try and stop this from happening. With that, Brahms stops and pulls away from you with a pout.

“No?” He questions with sweet eyes.

“I… yes…?” You try to stand your ground with yourself again, but it’s no use. Brahms’ heartfelt pleading turns you to putty in his hands.

“Please?” He begs. With that, you finally agree, and he’s onto you. Groping all up and down your sides, front, and back, he feels every inch of your body as if he’s desperate to find something in you.

“Brahms… wait…?” You stop him again, realizing you hadn’t seen his actual face yet. You politely ask him to remove his mask, but he visibly slumps.

“Why…? You… don’t want to see me…” Brahms insecurely explains, but you shake your head.

“I do! Please…?” You whine as he continues to feel up your back. Brahms hesitates slightly, then agrees. With that, he slowly removes the porcelain from himself. This leaves his bare, burnt, and uncertain face into your view. You’re unsure of what to say at first, as your feelings are conflicted. However, you quickly decide to go with what your heart felt.

“You’re so handsome, Brahms…” You confess with a sheepish smile. He doesn’t respond, though, almost as if he’s debating what to say as well.

“Mm!” You moan through a sudden kiss he placed on your lips, making Brahms smile to himself in the kiss. He loved the way you reacted to his touch. He quickly realized you were feeling the same towards him, and that gave him the confidence to continue. You rapidly grew a certain heat in your pelvic area, but the feeling was still unfamiliar to you. Only on the rare occasion did you allow yourself the pleasure, but you felt guilty for it every time.

“Slut… whore… useless daughter…” Your parents’ past words radiate in your head, and a panic washes over your body. Brahms senses your inner conflict again, and stops once more.

“Y/n…?” He gently asks to see if you’re alright. Tears well up in your eyes as the guilt of disappointing your parents consumes you.

“I’m sorry, I just… my mom and dad would be so upset… I just feel so… lost…” You admit, and Brahms wipes your cheeks with his calloused hands.

“Mm, screw them…” He chuckles darkly.

“But…” You try to argue, but he shushes you instead.

“They’ve never been good to you, Y/n…” Brahms shares, and it confuses you at first. They’ve always given you food, shelter, and anything else a child would need.

“But they… they mean well…” You try to reason it out, but he still disagrees.

“I’ve been watching, listening to how they treat you your whole life, Y/n… the way they scream at you, gaslight you, disappoint you… that’s not love… that’s abuse…” Brahms whispers with a broken heart for you. The pain of realization hits you, but you try to muffle your cries with your hands over your mouth.

“I’m so sorry… I know how hard it is… but I… I want to love you… really love you…” He kisses the top of your head sweetly. His words fill your heart with hope that you might not be miserable the rest of your life.

“Really…? I mean, I would love that… but I don’t want to force you into anything…” You self doubt yourself.

“Absolutely. I mean, hell… why do you think I was doing all of this?” Brahms wonders, and you suppose he’s right.

“Yeah, true… I’m sorry, I just feel bad… but thank you, I’d love to… y’know…?” You admit with a shy grin, which he immediately returns.

“Good,” He smirks and kisses you again. This time, the kiss was much more desperate for the sweet result. Brahms shows no mercy for you this time as he begins biting your lips. Your little gasps invoke a strong sense of pride within him. He was making you feel this way, and he alone would make you feel good.

“Hm,” His deep voice rumbles in his chest. Your eyes flutter open and shut, unsure of how to go about this situation. Squirming around awkwardly, you then feel Brahms grab your waist as he lifts you up and onto the table.

“Ah! Brahms...?!” You yelp in surprise.

“Take off your shirt, Y/n.” He demands, already sliding his hands underneath. You timidly follow his instructions, removing your shirt and bra from your body. Brahms looks down from your face and onto your breasts. He adored them, so he ran his hands over them as he gave each nipple a cheeky pinch.

“Oh, Brahms…” Your eyes close in bliss, but he snaps your attention back to his eyes.

“Look at me,” He suggests sternly.

“O-okay…” You do as he wishes and stare deep into his icy eyes. He’s tender and gentle, but he still makes you feel so small next to him.

“You’re so pretty, Y/n… I’ve always loved you…” Brahms brushes a stray lock of hair out of your face, giving him a better view at your beauty.

“I have loved you for the longest time, too, Brahms… I just never knew how to tell you…” You try your best to express your feelings, but your past experience with doing so has never been easy for you. Each emotion you shared ended in an argument with your parents.

“I’m so glad… please…” Brahms pleads, leaning his forehead against yours. He didn’t have to finish for you to understand what he wanted.

“C’mere…” Your sudden burst of trust hits the two of you like a train. Brahms roughly attacks your neck with his lips and teeth, nipping at all your sensitive areas. Exploring each and every inch, he scopes out which areas you like best.

“Mm, Y/n…” He whimpers, rubbing his needy cock against your body. You had neglected it for far too long, and you wanted to give it some love too.

Lowering your hand down to his member, you stroke him through his pants. Pre-cum leaks from his tip and soaks through his underwear slightly. His moans fill your ears with sweet misery. The lack of being inside of you was killing him, but he wanted to take things slow for you.

“Ah, Y/n…! Please! I’ll be a good boy!” He begs you to allow him entrance, and you agree. Instantaneously, he pulls his clothes off and prepares his painfully hard cock to slide into you.

“Oh! You feel… so tight…!” He didn’t tell you, but this was his first time as well. The first feeling of being inside of someone, especially when that someone is you, was the best feeling he’s ever felt. He couldn’t help himself but pump in and out of you. He tried his best to go slow, but his selfish excitement got the better of him. However, you were far from upset by this.

“Ah! D-don’t… stop…!” You plead with him, and he obliges. Slapping his body into yours in a rhythmic motion causes you to quickly feel that coil in your stomach tighten around him.

“F-fuck…! You’re gonna make me…!” As quickly as it started, your love making ended. The two of you came together simultaneously, and everything felt perfect to you. However, Brahms felt a wave of guilt.

“I… I’m sorry… I wish I had lasted longer… and I shouldn’t have pressured you into this…” He goes on and on about all the things he could’ve done better, but you then stop him with a chaste peck on his lips.

“You were perfect. Thank you,” You lovingly look into his eyes. He searches for any sort of regret, but when he finds none he settles into your arms.

~~~

MY REQUESTS FOR DRAWING AND WRITING ARE STILL OPEN!! FEEL FREE TO SEND AN ASK/MESSAGE WITH YOUR IDEA!!

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modx-reborn · 4 years ago

Text

The first prefromance

Something I spoke of in a discord I'm in.

So here have Simpbur and CamGirl/Camboy reader doing a show with them after working his way into their close circle.

(Yes this plays off of the two cam asks I have gotten recently)

Also please know that real cam girls/boys aren't actually going to do this, this is purely fictional in its makeup.

SMUT UNDERCUT! MINOR DNI!

"That's it j-just like that, all the way like you should be taking me. S-shouldn't be here fucking my hand w-when I could be fucking you, such a pretty thing so good for me, but such a slut t-to let others watch you like this..."

That was the last thing he had said to you on your last private call, since then he had wormed his way further and further into your shows and even into a bit of your personal life, or well your on-screen personal life, as he had the phone number you kept aside for work, from your days as a more in-person performer.

And boy did he ever make use of the number, sending you little messages and photos whenever the thought struck him, peppering you in small doses of affection and savouring the way you called him sometimes when you skipped a stream, offering him to listen to you get off instead letting him hear when you spoke about the toy he had sent you. Sometimes even getting him to call and ask for you to listen to him, getting you to mutter things to him and work him that little bit closer to his end.

But now what you're calling for may just break your dear simp, having had all the fun you could with the silicon imitation he had made for you, that now your mind was thinking about how he would feel rather than the toy. 'S-shouldn't be here fucking my hand w-when I could be fucking you' his own words playing on repeat in your head after you close down your last stream, sending little thank yous to the top donators before moving to the call ping that was coming through.

It was him. Perfect.

"Ahh, there he is, my pretty top boy Simpbur!"

"That was quite the s-show, but what did you mean by you're w-working on something big with someone else?"

"Well, that's good that you asked my dear. You are always so good for me, sending those little messages and all those donations, I was thinking you may want to help me with the next stream..."

"Y-you want me to-"

"Mmhmm, didn't you say yourself that it should be you fucking me, or was it that you should be here in me rather than fucking your hand?"

It's easy to finish your sentence with a tilt of your head, tapping one of your fingers against your bottom lip as if you were actually trying to remember when truly you were just teasing the curly-haired boy staring at you wide-eyed through your screen.

"I. Yes. I-I mean I would love to if you want me to..."

With his agreement the rest of the call was spent hashing out the rough details and leaving him open to suggest what he wanted to do for the show, leaving him with a wink and a reminder to 'Keep it simple' before you logged out and started to pack up and clean down the space you had been working in.

There would be a few weeks between your last show and the next one, having all the platforms you used teasing the next stream with images of the silicone toy being front and centre in all the images, a tease for all your viewers but a reminder for your dear simpbur that he would be more real in your world in a few days. Even when he made up his mind on what he wanted it was still so very hard for him to not scroll back through the recorded calls and streams, take himself in hand and work through the building need.

But he managed to keep his hands off, having worked himself up even before the actual day of the stream.

When you call him, he picks up on the first ring as always chipper and shaky in the same breath as he says your stage name.

"There's my good boy! You ready for tomorrow? Your first time in the red light after all, just want to make sure you're still down and want to do this."

"I-I am. I'm good and... and ready for tomorrow."

With a laugh and a quick goodbye, you hang up, heading off to the regular place you booked for longer shows needing to set up lights and the cams now, otherwise you would likely not have time when your co-star finally made his way to you. And how right you were, the moment the time for the stream rolled around he was there at your door, hands fiddling with the bottom of his button-up, mask and beanie on as if you hadn't seen his face a million times before.

Welcoming him in is easy, but getting him to calm down just enough to have him read back what the two of you had planned took slightly longer. You had him keep his mask and beanie on, using them as a way to keep him from having his real-world life ruined from doing this one little show with you, the suggestion also seems to put some of his nerves to rest.

When the cameras do start rolling, the stream on a start-up timer for switching on to a live stage, your chat on a large screen hanging over your laptop that was actually hosting the show, messages flying past as people are lured in at the promise of a different kind of show and the tagline mentioning a guest star. When the cam starts showing the room you're seated on Simpburs lap, thighs spread wide over his with his hands holding you close while you do your intro, his masked face pressed into your shoulder as he mutters something under his breath.

Your form rocking back into him once you're were done, slipping a hand under his beanie and tangling in his curls, making him groan just loud enough that one of the many mics would be able to hear him, laughing and cooing at him as you reach down with your free hand to wrap around his cock, slowly running your fingers across the heated flesh.

"You'll be good for me won't you? So pretty and brave being here on cam with me, getting a treat that so many would die for..."

His voice falters when you shift your grip, tugging on his hair just as you start to actually move your hand to jerk him off, slipping your hand out of his hair you reach for a little remote, making the camera zoom in as you close your thighs around him, burying his cock between your thighs. Cooing at him once again as his hands are braced on your hips, using this to bounce you on him, head tilted back and panting as he fucks your thighs.

The exposed skin of his neck calling for you to leave a few marks across, a little gift for him to remember this day by, or well more than the stream recording of course, pink and purple marks blooming across his neck as he changes the pace moving you more and more until you can feel him throbbing between your thighs.

"Oh, sweet thing you're cumming already? Are my thighs that good? Can't even hold on for the main performance, or are you that eager for more that you would cum now and still keep going? Hmm, what is it, pretty boy?"

The only answer you receive is a deep groan and the warm feeling of his cum seeping from between your thighs, spreading your legs to show off the mess to your cam, letting everyone who was watching see the mess that he had made. Reading your chat gave you a wonderful idea, they wanted more and you wanted to see just how far you could push your dear simp till he broke and lived up to his wants to actually fuck you.

Flicking across the remote once again the camera angle changes, showing a side view of the bed perfect for what you were planning to do, the angle giving your audience the best show as you move off his lap and kneel on the floor. Holding his cock with one hand as you lean forward to lick a stripe up his shaft, cleaning his mess off with your mouth, taking him fully once most of him was clean looking up at him through your lashes once you have taken him into your throat.

Watching how his eyes go wide, hands shaking when they reach for your head, his eyes flicking up to the chat screen reading over some of the words telling him to fuck your face, to make you cry and drool all over him, and other wanting to be where he was, whining over text that they should have been the one there with you. The majority calling for him to do something, building a need to move in him, slowly he is moving his hips, still sensitive after having cum not moments before but the feeling of your mouth wrapped around him was spurring him on.

Before long his hips are moving properly, holding your head steady as he fucks your mouth watching how you look up at him every time he pushes into your throat, tears building and falling with how harsh some of his thrusts are, but the image just makes him groan. Throwing his head back once again as he works himself back up, trying to hold out and enjoy this feeling for a little while longer, only you had other plans pulling away panting as you take in the way he looks.

Flicking your hands cross the remote once again to switch cameras for the final time settling on one that would let your audience watch how good your dear simp was for you, let them watch how full he makes you feel and how pretty he looks when he cums, when he finally gets what he wanted.

"You ready pretty boy, ready to finally get what you want? What you told me about on all your calls? Take you all the way like I should be taking you?"

"P-please, fuck just please le-let me fuck you..."

In his rush to reach for you, his beanie had come off, brown curls falling out in a mess that you tried to cover again only to have your hands smacked away in favour of him pulling you up onto the bed with him. Throwing your thighs over his own reaching for the bottle of lube you had left waiting to be used, coating his fingers before pressing them into you working you open with one hand as the other is pressed to your shoulder keeping you from moving away from his probing fingers.

"G-God look at you, do-don't even need to work my way up to two fingers, already so r-ready for them... Ready for me."

To quick are his fingers gone replaced by the head of his cock, easing his way in as he moans, hands grabbing your hips to steady himself as he finally gets to feel what it's like to be buried in you just like his toy replica had been so many times before. There is little time between him being fully hilted in you and him starting to move, his hands moving from your hips to under your thighs ignoring the sticky cum still staining them, pushing them back and using the new angle to fuck into you as hard as he liked.

Wanting to have you drooling into the mattress and calling his name, making you remember him and him alone so that if you ever did another show like this, it would be his number you called. That if he did this good enough, fucked you good enough that it wouldn't be on camera the next time he got to fuck you, it would be at your home in your bed, him calling your real name not this stage name you work under.

He comes back from his thoughts when your voice cuts through them, high pitched and whining for him to let you cum, for him to keep going to let you have what you had given him earlier, to feel him cum in you this time.

"F-fuck you w-want me to cum in you? P-paint your inside with me..."

The chat if either of you could see it was still it was running a mile a minute, calling for him to do it, to cum and let them see how it will drip out of you. Others call for him to deny you, keep you begging for your release while he took his own, but neither of you could see those words and so your ends draw near.

"T-that's it, god feels so. So good around me, j-just like I thought you would..."

The rough pace he set becomes almost brutal when he cums, there will be bruises in the shape of his hands come the next few days but that thought paired with the sight of your dear simp losing himself in you was what tipped you over.

The end of the stream was much like the beginning, albeit with a mess of brown curls keeping the camera from seeing how the mask had been pulled down and soft kisses were being placed along your shoulders, the moment you had given the final thanks and turned off all the gear the hands that were wrapped around your waist were pulling you back onto the bed, keeping you as close as possible.

After all the pressure of performing for people falls away, it's easy to give comfort to the man curled around you, wanting him to be comfortable with what you had just done. Once again tangling your hands in his hair only this time to give comfort rather than tease, cooing soft praise until the grip around you eases slightly.

"You did so well, such a good boy for me..."

#c: simpbur #dsmp smut #mcyt smut #k: praise #k: exhibitionism #k: teasing #k: face fucking #k: overstim #k: thigh fucking #cw: sex work #mxad

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totebagchiqbarista · 4 years ago

Note

Heyy can i request a luka x fem!reader fic? Like you know how how luka is always calm and cool? What if he turns into a living mess after he meets reader? Like no stuttering or something but hes ranting about her to juleka all the time and cant concentrate when shes around??

what are you doing to me? // luka x fem!reader

request: anonymous

warnings: fluff, swearing?, Luka being a mess

pairing: Luka Couffaine x Fem!Reader

a/n: I really wanted to write some Luka stuff and this kind of stretched out to a good amount of words so I hope you like it! :)

"Dear God, Luka, stop talking!" Juleka shouted at her brother who entered her room uninvited for the 4th time today. She had understood he didn't have anybody really to talk to, but Lord was he getting annoying at this point.

"But I have to tell you something"

Pushing him out of her cabin one last time, Juleka stood at the door frame and stared at the blue boy. "Go out and find a life!" Of course, she didn't mean it like that, but before she could manage what she is doing, she slammed the door shut in front of him.

Luka was taken aback by the change in Juleka's attitude. He didn't flinch though. He was always that one collected and calm person in every group. Anger never fulfilled him in the ways it sometimes filled his mother, for example.

Anarka had never been the type to prohibit them of their freedom, but she tends to let her emotions take over her. When somebody mentions their dad, she turns red, wrathful at the memories that flow across her head. And it's never long until she completely lets rage form her.

But Luka was different. He was always the serene boy you would find in the back of the class writing songs, practicing riffs. When somebody took it out on him, Luka sucked it in, forgetting about the scene in a few days. He had never lost his temper, beat someone up, melted at someone's touch...

He didn't mind it, after all, there was nothing to whine about. He had all his emotions under control, and even though he would never admit it- it made him feel superior to others.

So Luka decided to go to the park. Whenever he had nothing to do, a simple solution always came to his mind- a warm walk through the park.

"Hi, Nino" he exclaimed seeing the familiar couple by the water fountain. "Hi, Alya."

Alya offered him a soft smile, taking a piece of Andre's ice cream. Nino lent him his famous handshake. "I'm excited for tonight!" said Alya, referring to the private hangout at Couffaine's that was yet to come.

Luka had completely forgotten about it. How could he do such a thing? Still, he kept his cool exterior, nodding his head in agreement. "Me too"

"Oh shoot! I forgot I was supposed to meet Y/n tonight" Alya looked back on her schedule.

"Who's that?" Luka questioned, having never heard of that name before

"An old friend of mine. She just recently moved here"

"She can come, too."

"Really?" Alya's face lit up in joy "You would do that?"

The blue-haired boy laughed "If there's one place in Paris everybody is welcomed, it for sure is the Couffaine's ship!"

"Great, we'll see you there soon!" Alya added before collecting her phone and her boyfriend, running to meet up with her long-term friend.

Luka was left alone by the fountain, staring faintly at the water drops in the pool. Hot summer day took a toll on him and his eyes closed slightly under the pressure of the beaming sunshine.

A wooden bench called out to him and so he sat underneath the cooling shade of the trees. Moments passed and Luka grew to be more impatient. Guests were to come tonight, maybe he should return and help Juleka set up for the evening hang out...

Just on a mark, a girl ran to the park, out of her breath. She seemed worn out as she breathed heavily from the excessive physical activity. She looked at the phone in her hands, it responding with a typical GPS lady voice.

"Shit" she mumbled as she frantically tried to get the directions from the small machine.

"Hey" Luka called out to her from his sitting position in the corner "Are you lost?"

The girl looked around, making sure the blue boy was talking to her. "Yeah, I guess I could say so." Just as she returned him the look, Luka was struck by her beauty. It seemed like such a cliché, really. And Luka hated clichés. Yet, he was mesmerized by the girl who stood before him.

"Right... Where do you need to go?" He asked, collecting himself by her feet.

"Uh," she let out an unknowing hum "Here"

The picture she showed was blurry but Luka figured the place. It was a place he liked to visit sometimes, too. He showed her the directions, making sure she knows all the tracks.

"Thank you so much" The girl beamed with happiness in her eyes "Thank you for helping me"

Luka nodded, and the girl turned around to leave in the direction he just showed her. Luka contemplated for a second before asking a question just as she was about to leave "Can I know your name, at least?"

Hope in his eyes, he stared at her for a full moment until she broke the silence. "We only just met. Besides, where's the fun in that?" Sending him one last wink goodbye, she disappeared into the streets of Paris.

Juleka wasn't a person one could easily talk to. Except for Luka. Luka knew his sister was quite an introvert and a rather shy soul. He respected it and grew to watch over her, protecting her privacy with others. But with him, she was sometimes an extremely cheerful and bubbly person. Hell, there were moments he wished she could stop talking!

So when the two of them collaborated in decorating the harbor for their friends, they finished rather quickly. In under 2 hours, the duo managed to make the best party ship anyone has ever seen.

"Alya is bringing a friend," Luka said as he and Juleka tried to put the last fairy lights around.

"Really? Who?"

"An old friend who just moved here. Y/n as I recall."

Juleka nodded, trying to remember the name "Oh yes, Y/n. Alya told us about her. I'm glad to finally meet her."

Soon enough, the guests started to gather and their home was erupting from chit chats and music. Luka talked to everybody, getting lost in the crowd. His mind always found its way back to the silhouette of the lost girl from the park. There was something he couldn't get enough of in her...

"Luka, could you play us something?" asked Marinette to what Luka only nodded, heading to his room for the guitar.

"Alya is here!" Rose exclaimed when she noticed her friend at the entrance. Next to her stood a girl, a girl Alya has told them almost everything about.

"Hi, guys! This is Y/n" everybody welcomed them, all eyes prying on the newbie.

Marinette came closer and hugged her "I'm Marinette" she addressed as she offered her a soft smile "I've heard so much about you!"

"I could say the same" Y/n returned the sweet gesture.

"What took you so long?" Nino asked looking at his watch and then back at them.

"My bad. I got kind of lost."

The moment Luka stepped on the ship, the last thing he expects to see was the girl he couldn't stop thinking about. The girl that has been playing in his head all day, since the moment they met. Well, not exactly met.

"You" he blurted without thinking as he set his guitar down.

The pair of orbs he remembered from this morning, looked up at him, as surprised as him. "You" she joked back, not breaking the eye contact.

"You two know each other?" Marinette asked looking back and forth between the two of them.

"Not really. He helped me find the way this morning" Y/n explained

"And she didn't even tell me her name"

"It's more fun this way, don't you think?"

Luka chuckled offering her a handshake. "I'm Luka"

"Y/n"

The night moved slowly and Luka found himself growing more and more nervous whenever Y/n was around. This can't be! He's always the calm one, the collected one, the untouchable one. No, no. It's just a mire admiration. Nothing much, really. He's as steady as ever...

"Spin the bottle!" Alya shouted out of nowhere

Numbers of confused faces turned to her in a moment. She proceeded, explaining her outburst. "Let's play spin the bottle"

The teens looked around, meeting with other's sights, nodding in agreement. Soon enough, the group was sat on the floor. Upon choosing a seat, Luka looked around. There were 2 left: beside Y/n and opposite of her. He wanted to sit beside her, really. Oh, just how he wanted to sit beside her, their knees touching... But he was so nervous. His palms sweat just for the thought and his heart raced with a speed unknown to man.

So he sat opposite of her.

"Right, so, we are playing spin the bottle combined with truth and dare. A person spins the bottle and they ask "truth or dare?" the one who the bottle has sat on." Alya explained.

Marinette went first, the bottle landing on Y/n. The bluenette smiled softly and asking the question. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth"

"Are you happy to be in Paris?"

"Very!" The two exchanged graceful smiles earning a groan from Nino.

"Where are the fun questions! C'mon dudettes!" he cried obviously disappointed in his friends.

Marinette looked at him in confusion "What do you want me to ask?"

"I don' know, something interesting. Like, describe your perfect type, or something"

Y/n laughed for a second. "Well I don't really have a type but guitarists hold a special place in my heart"

Luka looked at her in surprise but wasn't met with her gaze. That was it. He'll lose his mind because of this girl and there's no turning back. He'll be defeated, if only he wasn't already.

Y/n grew to be a great addition to the class and the friend group. And she grew closer to Luka's heart, more close than he liked to admit. When she was around, his mind was rollercoasters, when she was away her melody played in the back of his head. It was exhausting, really. Luka had never acted this way, especially not for a girl. It was all new to him.

It had been almost two months since Y/n's first day in the city of love. Never had she imagined that she would fall so in love with the people, the culture, the capital of France in general. She was standing on her balcony, looking at the most beautiful sightseeing- the Eiffel tower.

"Mom, Dad, I'm leaving, see you later!" she shouted as she closed the front door behind her. Juelka had invited her to help her out with band stuff. She was a bit surprised to say at least for Y/n wasn't much of an intellectual in that field.

The traffic was light and soon enough she stepped foot on the magnificent ship. The boy she already knew very well was strumming his guitar in the corner.

"Nice tune" she whispered, coming behind him

Luka jumped a little, taken aback by her unexpected figure. "Y/n? Why-"

"I invited her, I need some help," said Juleka from the door. "I'll be back in a second" and with that, she disappeared.

Y/n sat on a chair beside him, feeling the tension rise. Luka's melody became more insecure, more unsteady. It felt as if he was trying too hard.

"What happened?"

"I don't know" Luka answered, regretting holding the guitar now. It was true, when she was around, it was not much he could do. His mind always wandered elsewhere.

An uncomfortable silence took over them. Juleka was nowhere in sight. After some minutes of complete dull, Y/n stood up eager to leave. "Tell Juleka I'm sorry, but I just remembered I have to go."

Luka wanted to say something, but he couldn't. He was afraid of blurting out something way more stupid. So he nodded, regretting his decisions. What has she done to him? He can't even think straight, what to do, what not to do. He's a mess and it's all because of her.

"What are you doing you, idiot, go after her!" Juleka stormed out of the ship, scolding her older brother.

"What?"

"Go after her! Tell her how you feel! God!"

"What are you talking about?" Luka played it off dumb

Juleka's anger only grew "Oh please, mister untouchable, you're not so secretive about it. You can never concentrate when she's around, when I mention her, you grow all impatient. You talk about her ALL THE DAMN TIME. I can't listen to you anymore!"

Luka shifted in his spot "I don't talk about her that much"

"You literally stormed in my room last night talking about her humor and how cool she is. Go tell her how you feel, Luka"

He contemplated for a minute making Juleka impatient "Now! Go!"

The blue boy nodded, setting his guitar aside, and running as fast as he could. He ran the way he remembered Y/n to go. His legs could sprint only so fast but somehow he managed to run it all the way through.

Just by the bridge, she saw her walk by herself. It was already getting late, the sun was just around the corner, held by its fingertips to not yet say goodbye. She was looking to the river, calm and alone. "Y/n!" he shouted, putting all the energy he had to pull it through.

"Y/n!" he screamed once more to what the girl turned around. Just as she was about to ask what was happening, Luka panted taking her hand in his the moment he got the chance.

"No, no, I talk." He said taking a deep breath and looking right into her eyes. "Y/n from the moment we met in the park, I couldn't stop thinking about you. You took a tool on me, god, I'm wrapped around your finger! I can't focus when I see you, I lose all my senses when you smile"

Y/n smiled at the ongoing love declaration. "And no matter how hard I tried to cover up my feelings, to forget you, there just is no escape. I am lost, I'm losing my mind. God, what are you doing to me? I rant about you to Juleka, dear Lord. You made a mess out of me, Y/n, and I love, I love, I love you."

And before thinking, Y/n pressed her lips against his. She kissed him long and lovingly, making him melt under her touch.

"That makes the two of us"

#luka x reader miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculous marinette #miraculous au #miraculous luka #fanfic #oneshot #luka couffaine x reader #luka couffaine #adrienette #adrien agreste #chat noir #marinette dupen chang #miraculous #miraculous fanfic

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lubdubsworld · 4 years ago

Text

物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.)

Characters : Alpha! Jungkook x Omega ! OC.

Genre : Arranged Marriage / Temporary contractual Marriage.

Warnings : Non- Con/ Extremely Dubious Consent . High functioning alcoholism. Genre related consent issues. Implied suicidal thoughts.

Summary : A recently widowed Jungkook agrees to a contract marriage to keep his company afloat. His grief overwhelms him and it is hard to look at his new wife as anything other than an intruder .

[ Author’s Note : 物の哀れ ~ Mono no aware can be translated as ‘the sadness of things’. It comes from the words 物 (mono – thing) and 哀れ (aware – poignancy or pathos). The ‘sadness’ in question comes from an awareness of the transience of things, as taught by Zen Buddhism. When we view something exceptionally beautiful, we might feel sad because we know it won’t stay so beautiful forever – but appreciation only heightens the pleasure we take in the beautiful thing in that moment. ]

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 3

“Yoongi left a bunch of painkillers for you. He said you can take up to three per day.” Jin said calmly , carefully slipping the sleeves of my t shirt over my wrist as i held my arms out for him. He slipped the shirt over my head gently but his arms hit my shoulders, jostling me. I swallowed the whimper of pain that shot through me at the movement. Mina was now awake, happily wiggling around on her rocker.

It was a little past seven in the evening and Jungkook wasn’t due to arrive for another hour .

“I could sleep on a bed of rusty nails right now. I’m so tired and i don’t know why. “ I whispered, staying still as he carefully drew the fabric down over my ribs, before stepping back.

“I’ll sleep in the nursery with her. You should take the bed. You’re in no shape to be up and taking care of her when she wakes up. Jungkook’s asked me to stay here during the day because I’m not going to be performing for a couple months anyway and I’ve been losing my mind, rattling around that huge ass mansion all by myself. ”

The phone rang, startling both of us.

I groaned before moving to get up but Jin oppa held a hand up.

“Stay in bed. I’ll go see who it is.”

I watched him disappear out of the room, settling back against the pillows and reaching for the ice pack in the small cooler by the bed. I had to ice my ribs every hour or so and while it didn’t seem to be helping much, I definitely appreciated the temporary numbness it offered.

Jungkook’s guilt had driven a new wedge between us and he hadn’t so much as looked at me in three days.

I wasn’t sure entirely if this was a good or bad thing. The fact that he seemed to be considering that he had to get his emotions under control to stop hurting the people around him was a welcome change. But the idea of going back to being ignored and treated like furniture , wasn’t really all that appealing.

“Jungkook’s parents are on the way.” Jin’s voice broke through my reverie and i jumped.

I resisted the urge to sob out loud .

Mr and Mrs. Jeon were on the opposite side of the grief spectrum and just as annoying.

Where Sooah’s parents were intent on making Jungkook remember their daughter as often as possible, Jungkook’s parents were intent on making him forget her.

The only thing the two of them had in common was a burning hatred for me.

Jungkook’s parents had wanted him to quit the company and sell it when it went into loss but Jungkook had categorically refused because that would result in all of his employees getting laid off, and back then Jungkook had been nothing if not ridiculously compassionate. Jungkook’s parents firmly believed that if it hadn’t been for me, their son would be back in Busan, letting them raise their granddaughter.

“Great, that’s great. Did you tell them their son is not around?” I grimaced. I’d only met them three times in total and the last time was in the hospital two months ago when Jungkook had crashed in the middle of a board meeting, weeks of starving and dehydration catching up to him. It hadn’t been a pleasant experience, getting cursed out in front of the doctors and nurses and it probably won’t be any fun in the privacy of my home either.

Jin gave me a sympathetic smile.

“He’s already told them he’s on the way. I’m going to take Mina out on a walk. Give you guys some privacy. Shoot me a text when they leave.” he said gently.

“Can’t I come with?” I begged and he laughed.

“That would be a bad idea, even if it weren’t for the cracked rib. Just relax. Smile and nod and let them spew whatever nonsense they want and then they’ll leave. ”

I opened my mouth to tell him how many flaws there were in his plan when the doorbell rang.

“And that’s my cue. Text me, yeah?” Jin moved to pick Mina up from the rocker before reaching for the baby carrier on the table.

I debated the pros and cons of staying in bed and finally decided against it, gently throwing my legs off the edge and raising myself up to a sitting position. I heard vague voices by the front door, Jin’s sweet tones mingling with Jungkook’s slightly gruffer ones.

I heard the door close and the stillness of the apartment was as oppressing as ever. I could hear him quite clearly though. The clink of the keys as they hit the bowl, the small click of the door as he locked it.

i could imagine him, exhausted from the day’s work, briefcase held in one hand while the other tugged on the knot of his tie.

I imagined for a second, what it must have been like for him with Sooah. She was a bright , incredibly cheerful person. Everyone kind of faded into the background when she was around. Sooah had always been the first to smile at a stranger, the first to laugh even if the joke wasn’t funny. The first one to stand up to help someone in need.

I swallowed, clutching the sheets to ground myself.

I guessed that she must’ve always rushed to greet him at the door. I could imagine him wrapping both arms around her waist, drawing her into a hug or even a kiss.

How was your day, Kookie? (I’d heard her call him that, once when they had been at my father’s house for a charity dinner. )

I wondered if perhaps the very sight of her would have taken away all of the day’s exhaustion from him. Perhaps, he would forget all the ways his company had been failing back then at the sight of her beautiful laughing face. Perhaps losing his company hadn’t been as terrifying as losing his job.

And perhaps once he lost her, he just couldn’t bear the thought of losing his life’s work too. And so he’d agreed to meet my father’s demands.

My fingers began trembling a bit .

I could imagine her moving around the house, pregnant and glowing, laughing as he nuzzled into the curve of her belly. Had he perhaps pressed his lips to her skin, whispered sweet endearments to his daughter through the fabric of his wife’s clothes? Had he perhaps loved Mina, deeply? WAs it just his grief that made it hard to be near his wife. Or was it perhaps me? Me holding the baby that should have been in his beautiful wife’s arms.

The wife he had been so madly, deeply in love with.

Love, I thought vacantly.

It wasn’t something I had ever felt, for anyone until I’d began caring for Mina.

But what Jungkook had with his wife was something different wasn’t it?

The love a man had for a woman. Laced with desire, longing and passion. A love that made you put their happiness over your own.

Love like that had never been in the cards for me.

Ever

I was an Omega. Rare and hated and known for being selfish and greedy. People didn’t love my kind. They avoided me. They always assumed I would take advantage of them. My peers growing up had treated me with so much contempt.

The girls would whisper how I was trying to seduce their boyfriends. The boys would call me a tease, even when I stayed far away and did nothing to attract their attention. I’d gotten used to it. It didn’t bother me. it was the way of the world for me. Ad it wasn’t like I could honestly deny some of it.

I looked at handsome alphas and wanted them. I wanted to be held and cherished. To be bought pretty things and cared for. It had taken decades for me to beat that part of mine into submission. To remind myself that if I ever let that part of me out, it would destroy me.

But love? Being in love with someone?

I didn’t know what that could have been like for Jungkook.

Or maybe I had but I couldn’t recognize it because I’d never received it myself. Whatever the cause, it was for me, a fairytale. It was hard to imagine people loving each other so much, to the extent that they would die for each other. ( Jungkook’s words still hung in the back of my mind : that he had wanted to follow her even in death )

Jungkook was right.

I could never know what his loss was like.

Because I would never know what he had lost.

It felt a little like being dipped in an ice cold lake in the middle of winter. My skin broke out in shivers, hair standing on end and I felt my throat go dry so swiftly. I’d never wanted to run away so much. I wrapped a hand sound myself, scooting back on the bed again. I reached for the blanket, wanting to pull it over my head and curl into a ball.

Shut out the world and all the things that didn’t make sense.

“Are you alright?” Jungkook’s voice broke through the haze in my head and I swallowed. He had an alpha’s voice and my body responded even if my mind resisted. It didn’t happen all the time. Jungkook couldn’t control me. But sometimes when I was feeling vulnerable, instincts took over . I was already dropping the blanket and smiling softly.

“Mina’s out for a walk.” I croaked out, surprised at how awful my voice sounded.

I felt the press of something against my fingers and I blinked, staring at the glass of water Jungkook was pressing into my hand.

“Don’t worry, I called them and told them not to come over.” He said quietly , watching me drink with still trembling fingers.

I swallowed and stared at him.

“I... Thank you. “ I said fervently, feeling a few knots come undone in my gut. I couldn’t really stand up to Jungkook’s parents the way I did with Sooah’s parents. Because Jungkook loved them deeply and hurting them would be the same as hurting him.

“There’s a party in a couple of days. It’s my birthday. I’m turning 34. Yugyeom’s organizing the whole thing, so I’m going to hire a babysitter for Mina, because Jin hyung will be there too and you need help caring for her anyway. You can stay home and rest. ” he said .

I scoffed.

“I’m going to come with you.” I said firmly.

Jungkook frowned.

“What?”

I glared at him.

“I’m not letting you go to a party organized by your shit for brains friend, Jungkook. You’ll probably end up getting drunk out of your mind and killing someone and I’m not going to hang around to clean that up. I’m coming to that party and I’m making sure you don’t have more than one drink. “

Jungkook’s frown deepened into a scowl.

Did you ever look at your wife , like this? With so much loathing? I thought stupidly. Or did she only ever get to see the sweet and wonderful side of you? Did she ever annoy you the way i seem to every second of the damn day ? Did you hate certain things about her too? Or was she so perfect that you could only feel love ?

“ I can take care of myself. Its my birthday , I can do whatever the fuck I want.“ He snapped.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

“Not unless you’re a five year old kid in the sandpit, which you’re not. You’re an adult and when you make stupid decisions as an adult, very real people end up paying for it. You’re old enough to know this Jungkook and for once, just listen to me. You can drink, fine. But I’m going to be there and if I see that you’re getting drunk, I’m going to bring you home. You either agree or I’m going to call Yoongi oppa .”

That made him pause.

“Fine. Fuck you.” He snapped, turning on his heel and stalking out of the room. A few seconds later I heard the door to the shower slam shut.

I wanted to follow him and shake some sense into him but before I could decide if it was worth jostling my body, when another sharp pain lanced through my ribs.

Oh great.

I took deep breaths the way Yoongi had taught me. Apparently, pneumonia was a thing that could happen, so i had to breath carefully to reduce the risk of that happening.

The birthday party organized by Yugyeom was going to be a whole entire migraine inducing disaster. I could already feel the headache come on. It still amazed me that Jungkook was friends with him and his cronies.

Yugyeom and his friends were the typical; brain dead alphas who thought themselves superior to all other ranks. Even worse, they viewed omegas as objects: fucktoys to be more precise and I bristled when i remembered the way he had always stared at me.

Well, if he stepped anywhere near me, I would kick him in the teeth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Jungkook’s mother turned up at home the next day, I wasn’t entirely surprised. I wasn’t surprised but it didn’t make things any more pleasant.

“We’re willing to take Mina for a couple of days if you would both need time to prepare for the party. This is the first big event Jungkook’s holding after Sooah’s passing and we want it to be perfect. As his wife, i hope you’ll do your part.”

Mrs Jeon’s pinched face did nothing for my already frayed temper.

“There’s not much i can do with a cracked rib, mother.” I said politely. It stung, having to call this bitter, cruel woman mother but then, such was life. It was late afternoon and Jungkook was probably sitting in the comfort of his air conditioned office, being flattered and doted on by his smitten secretary while I sat here entertaining his vicious mother.

“Nonsense, you’ve probably just scratched it. I know how you omegas like to exaggerate. “ she waved off my injury easily. “ There are so many details that need to be decided on and its unfair to drop all of those responsibilities on poor yugyeom’s head. Why don’t you go with him and help out a bit?”

The idea of going anywhere with Kim Yugeom was easily the most repugnant thing to me.

“I’m sure he knows Jungkook much better than I do. If i interfered, I’d only be getting in his way.” I said politely.

Mrs. Jeon hummed.

“Well, its good that he’s agreed to the party at least. That woman never let him meet with Yugyeom or his friends when she was around.”

That woman being Jungkook’s late wife.

I felt a sudden fondness for her. Clearly she had also recognized Yugyeom for the absolute pig that he was and kept her husband away from his rotten influence . But unlike with her, Jungkook didn’t actually care about me. So I had no way of stopping him from meeting the idiots. Yugyeom’s family was rich and reputed and it was clear that the Jeons wanted the friendship and the connection. Why else would they keep pushing for it so much?

“Is there any particular reason you’re here, mother?” I said finally, after hearing her babble on and on about caterers and invitations and what not.

“I was hoping to meet Mina...why isn’t she here?”

“I’m not able to care for her well, what with the rib. The doctor has advised me to rest so Jin oppa takes care of her during the day. Jungkook picks her back up on his way back from office. I can send her over to your place with him this weekend.”

“That would be fine i suppose. Have you spoken to the decorators about changing the portraits put up in the house?”

I blinked.

“Sorry?”

“The penthouse, we’ve got it back now right? why don’t you move there. We have a cook and a housekeeper .”]

“this is closer to Jungkook’s office.” I had no idea where the penthouse was and could only hope it was farther way.

Mrs. Jeon frowned.

“This apartment is too small. Not to mention, you still have Sooah’s photos everywhere in this place. Surely that’s not healthy. Get rid of them and put up pictures of you and Jungkook.”

Jungkook’s parents didn’t know that our marriage had an expiry date. i wasn’t sure if this was a good or bad thing. But they saw me as nothing more than a way to get rid of Sooah from the deepest recesses of Jungkook’s mind.

“I’m sure, with time...Jungkook can make that decision by himself. When he’s ready for it.” I said gently, beginning the fresh throb of pain near my temple.

“Nonsense, Heejin. Men won’t ever move on until you force them. Have you considered getting pregnant?”

I jumped about a foot into the air.

“I...what.” I croaked out.

“You need a child too. He mated you. He owes you that. I’m going to tell him that he better do his duty by you.” She said firmly.

“Please don’t.” I shouted, stunned out of my mind. Was this woman even sane?

“Why not?” She frowned looking at me like i was the one being unreasonable.

Why not? Because its barely been four months since he lost his wife of seven years to childbirth. Surely, you don’t think the remedy to that is to have him go through it all over again.

“ Mina is still small, mother. I’m sure we can wait a while. Maybe after she’s one or two.”

Jungkook would probably move on by then. Of course he would. Grief was overwhelming but it was also finite. It did get smaller over time. Easier to cope with. Jungkook would eventually be able to navigate his life around his grief. He would learn to make new connections and who was to say one of those wouldn’t be a compatible match?

So two years from now, there was no reason Jungkook shouldn’t meet another lovely woman, a beta maybe and eventually expand his family. Of course i would be nowhere in the picture at the time. But that was fine.

I remembered something I’d read somewhere, a while back.

If two people are like ships that pass in the night, they meet by chance for a short time , then do not see each other ever again.

Like ships passing by each other in the night, I reminded myself. That's what Jungkook and I were.

“Well, if you think that’s wise.... fine. But now that Jungkook’s doing well, why don’t you entertain people more often? You haven’t had a dinner party here yet, have you?”

And so it went on, over an over for a whole two hours until I was wrung out from sheer exhaustion, my head throbbing and nails having dug half moon indents into my palms from fisting my hands too hard.

By the time i finally closed the door on her face, I couldn’t help but sag against the door, sinking to the floor in a heap, cracked rib be damned.

I glanced up at the solo portrait on the wall. The one my mother in law had wanted gone.

“She must’ve really hated you, huh?” I said casually pulling myself up to my feet and moving to the dining space to stare at her face more closely.

She was dressed in her wedding gown, a fitted mermaid dress with lace and satin detailing. She had a bouquet of white lilies in one hand, elbows bent and the blooms resting on her shoulder while her other hand curved around her slender waist.

Beautiful was an understatement, I thought vacantly.

“ You look like you didn’t put up with people’s bullshit. That’s cool I guess.” I smiled a little. “ You know in another world, we may have been friends.”

I bit my lips.

“Yugyeom was shitty to you too huh? He seems the type. i’m glad you kept Jungkook away from him. I wish you’d somehow help get him away again. He doesn’t listen to me. Thinks I’m trying to control him or something. ”

It was ridiculous. What was i doing.. Why was i talking to a framed picture on the wall. God.

But now that I’d started, I couldn’t quite stop.

“About what happened with Jungkook... I don’t want you to think i was seducing him or anything. And when i said that I hated him calling your name when we... well you know why i said it right? It wasn’t anything personal...i was just pissed. I don’t enjoy the sex by the way... I don’t think he does either but he’s an alpha and you know how it is…they need that release or they kind of lose their mind .. So trust me we both hate the principle of it.... but at least he cums and well I don’t. He’s never made me cum. That should say something about how we feel about each other.......”

“Uh.. Should I come back later?” The voice near the doorway was so unexpected my heart jumped right to my throat and I screamed, stumbling a bit to the side.

Min Yoongi stood framed by the door, one hand wrapped around a bouquet of flowers and the other clutching his bag and stethoscope. He still had his white coat on over his shirt and slacks, hair mussed like he’d run his finger through it.

It took me a second to remember that Yoongi had a key to the house.

Another second to remember exactly what I’d been doing when he came inside.

Good God.

Had he heard the part where I’d talked about Jungkook not making me cum? Surely not? Oh Please no.

“Jungkook told me to check on you. That you couldn’t sleep last night? Are you in a lot of pain?”

Jungkook and I had shared the bed in his room last night and I had apparently, tossed and turned and whimpered through the night in pain. Or so Jungkook claimed.

“Uh... I’m not sure. He said so... so..”

“you guys sleep together right?” Yoongi asked casually, taking his coat off. I stared at the way the material of the shirt strained over his shoulders, my throat just a little dry.

Yoongi smelled so ridiculously good. He was a doctor and he was so handsome and kind to me. The attraction would have been there even if i had been a beta but as an omega, the urge to just fling myself at him and beg him to make me his, it was kind of horrifying.

Tamping down that part of me, I gave him a casual shrug, heart still pounding.

“Yeah. There’s just two bedrooms here and one is Mina’s nursery. So ...” I finished awkwardly, watching him move around and place his bag on the table before unwinding the stethoscope, placing it around his collar.

He gave me a small smile.

“I’ll just take a quick look and check how your breathing sounds. that okay?” He asked gently.

“Oh... sure. You need me to take my shirt off?” I asked curiously.

He gave me a quick little smirk.

“Not for medical reasons no.” He winked.

I felt blood rush to my face along with guilt. What was I doing? This was Jungkook’s best friend!! His hyung. Someone he trusted and I was his....

His what?

Nothing. I was Jungkook’s nothing. When was the last time someone had flirted with me . Someone who wasn’t a grade A creep.

Yoongi moved closer, sitting down on the kitchen stool and beckoned me to come stand between his thighs. i moved, achingly aware of how much more potent his scent was up close. He looked up at me through sooty black lashes, a small smirk on his lips, feline eyes warm and open .

“Put your hands on my shoulders, yeah?” He prompted.

I hesitated, fingers shaking just a little before reaching out to rest on this shirt. I kept the touch feather light , the softness of his shirt the only thing I could feel.

He hummed and bending down to lightly tug the hem of my shirt out of the waistline of my jeans. I bit my lips to stop myself from squirming.

He glanced up , eyes meeting mine and holding my gaze.

“You good?”

“Uhuhbuh.” I stuttered and he grinned wider, pulling the fabric up to the curve of my breasts. He lightly ran his finger tips over the bruised skin , humming thoughtfully .

“You’ll be fine in a few weeks. Hang on.” He pulled back, plugging the steth in his hear before holding the other end up to my chest. He pressed it against my skin, just before the underwire of my bra and it was unexpectedly cold .

I jumped, fingers curling on his shoulder and squeezing down.

“Hey.. what’s wrong?” Yoongi whispered, hands reaching for my waist, gently holding me steady and I flushed. He looked genuinely worried , lips turned down and brows furrowed and i felt absolutely stupid.

“Sorry. Sorry.... It’s nothing.. i just.. it’s a little cold.” I laughed nervously and his gaze softened.

One hand still curved around my waist, he brought the diaphragm up to his mouth, holding my gaze as he gently breathed warm air all over it.

My throat went instantly dry and i had to swallow. He pressed it against my chest again and this time it was so much warmer. .

“Better?” He prompted and i nodded, guilt and discomfort churning in my stomach. What was i doing? I had no business indulging him. i had no business indulging any man. Ever.

I looked away, pulling my hands up off his shoulder, pushing his hand off my hip as well . He didn’t say anything his shoulders stiffened at the subtle rejection.

A mantle of awkward tension settled over us, a small thundercloud of regret and that threatened to rain misery all over us. I wanted to kick myself. He was older than Jungkook by four years. Thirty eight years old.

Did he have a girlfriend? Oh god, what if he was martried?

Nausea threatened.

“Your breathing sounds fine. Are you practicing those breathing exercises , I taught you?” He asked casually and I nodded . I couldn’t trust myself to speak.

“Hey...” He said gently and I flinched.

“I’m sorry.” I blurted out. “ I didn’t mean to lead you on or tease you in any way and I’m sorry if i came on to you ...”

“What?! Heejin, stop. That’s bullshit. You never did any such thing. This was all me.” He said firmly.

I stared at him.

“I know you’re married but... your marriage, its going to end right? Eventually.”

I made to step back but he grabbed my waist again, this time a few inches over my jean and his fingers on the bare skin of my midriff made me want to melt. He had long slender fingers, a surgeons hands, and the press of it on my skin felt so foreign and gentle and different and good.

“We don’t have to do anything. I just... I thought we could get to know each other. Over coffee or dinner.”

I wanted to sob at the unfairness of it all.

Because Yoongi was beautiful and handsome and so good and so much more than I could ever even dream of, but he was and would always be so intricately woven with Jungkook and with Jungkook’s life. And I couldn’t imagine anything more messy than sticking around and watching Jungkook and his daughter forget me and move on.

“It’s.... probably a terrible idea. “ I said roughly, shaking my head. “ Its the kind of idea that would never end well.”

“Are you sure? Because unlike Jungkook, i could probably make you cum.” He winked and I felt my face flame red.

“Oh God...” I hissed, stumbling back. This time he let me move away, merely chuckling and reaching for his coat and bag .

“I won’t bother you again. But the offer’s always open, yeah?” He smiled again. “ You need me to send over more pain meds?”

I shook my head mutely, begging him to just leave already.

He nodded and held his hand up in a casual wave before walking out of the door. I collapsed on the stool and dropped my head into my arms , groaning.

What had i gotten myself into.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t actually see Jungkook for a couple of days. The meds knocked me out and he worked overtime, only arriving after I’d slept off and leaving before i woke up. Jin brought Mina around everyday and there was something absolutely exhilarating about watching her clutch at her little teething toys and rattles, gummy smile peeking out every few minutes.

On a whim, i told Jin what had happened with Yoongi and much to my surprise he actually laughed.

“About time . He’s been pining for what three years now?”

I gaped at him, completely thrown.

“I..he.. what.” I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around what I had heard.

“He saw you at that art exhibition you put up in the Hyatt . By the way, don’t you paint anymore?”

I flushed.

I had no proper response to that. What could i say? That my painting had just been yet another way to control me, only appreciated by father when he could use it to make more money. And that part of my marriage contract included that I wouldn’t paint or make any money off my art for the duration that I stayed with Jungkook.

It was just yet another way my father reminded me that he controlled him. I didn’t fight him because he would win anyway. And the only thing he loved more than controlling people was winning battles that were always rigged in his favor. i wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. I would soldier through this awful marriage and at the end of it , i would disappear without a trace.

I shook my head vaguely and Jin hummed.

“Yoongi doesn’t understand art but he hung around the entire nine hours , morning to night . Three whole days of him just pretending to look at the artwork while secretly making moon eyes at you.”

I could only stare in sheer disbelief.

“i... i never knew.”

“How could you? Yoongi’s idea of courting is pretending he doesn’t exist and fading into the background. “ Jin rolled his eyes. “ He tried approaching your father to officially court you but your old man shut that down rather brutally.”

I swallowed .

“I... I’m sorry.” i said feeling foolish. Three years...what? I couldn’t think beyond the shock of the information.

“Does Jungkook know?” I asked , scared.

Jin shook his head.

“Like I said Yoongi never made it known . He was afraid it would make life difficult for you. He didn’t want any rumors around because everyone knew your father was looking to offer you to someone rich and young. Yoongi was what , fifteen years older? That’s quite a difference.”

“Thirty eight isn’t old.” I said sharply and Jin’s brow went up.

“Oh?” He questioned teasingly and I flushed.

“Jungkook is eleven years older. What’s another four more years?” I shrugged.

“You’re interested then.” Jin said thoughtfully. I recoiled, shaking my head quickly.

“I...what? No. No I’m not. “

“Why not? If it isn’t the age, then there’s no reason to say no. Yoongi is handsome , settled and a great guy all around and besides, your time with Jungkook is finite right?”

“I... I won’t cheat on him.” I said firmly. “ i can’t... I... besides, Jungkook and I... we’re... we have sex.” My ears turned red, “ I can’t do that with two guys... I’m not like that. “

Jin nodded.

“Its alright.. Heejinah ...I’m sorry if i pressured you or anything. You don’t have to do anything. I know you have a lot on your plate right now. Yoongi probably got carried away . More than likely he’s going to panic and avoid you for a year just to recover.” He laughed and I smiled reluctantly.

“He’s nice I don’t want to hurt him. “ I said softly.

“ Sometimes that’s just inevitable . People get hurt no matter what we choose.” Jin gave me a sad little smile. “ Jungkook is just as nice a gy as Yoongi. If not better. He’s just...not in the right headspace to show that side of himself to you. I wish you’d known him before Sooah. He used to be this...playful and funny kid. We all went out of our way to keep him safe. Sooah was just as amazing. Usually , we try to find flaws in people our friends date right? Well trust me Sooah was hard to dislike .” He laughed, eyes misting over as his gaze landed on her portrait over the mantle.

I followed his gaze and swallowed.

“Do you think Jungkook will ever get over her?” I asked simply.

Jin hesitated.

“Someday? Probably yes. But it won’t be easy. He’s ... He feels things deeply. He always has. He loved her deeply, he cared for her deeply and so its only obvious that he’s going to feel the loss of her presence very deeply too.”

I nodded.

“Its his birthday tomorrow.” I said softly. “ I have a gift for him. Well its not a gift from me, but a gift nonetheless. But I’m not sure if I should give it to him.”

Jin gave me a surprised look.

“What do you mean?”

I smiled bitterly.

“Just that sometimes fate can be very cruel when it chooses its players. I’m forever wondering if he would be better off or worse without me in the picture and I just can’t decide.”

“Different. He would just be different.” Jin said calmly.

There was nothing else i could say to that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yugyeom had rented out the rooftop restaurant in one of the poshest Hotels in Seoul and although the party was a pool party, I hadn’t bothered dressing for it. I wore a plain sequined top and burgundy skirt that fanned out around me knees.

The place was teeming with people his age , friends acquaintances and business partners. The women had changed into bright , skimpy bikinis and lounged about in the brightly lit pool tossing a ball around .

The older people were being hosted by the Jeons on the lower level of the restaurant in a posh ballroom. Jungkook and i would have to visit them later but for now I was content sipping a mocktail, leaning against the bar while Hoseok and Lisa flanked me on either side, pointing out who was sleeping with who.

Jungkook was in the pool with Yugyeom and Jimin and it was impossible to tear my eyes away from him. He looked happy almost, laughing and shaking water out of his hair as he moved around with the strength and agility of an Olympic athlete. Yoongi was in the pool as well and on the opposite team with Jin and Namjoon....and it was increasingly obvious that the half a dozen bikini clad women were there simply for an excuse to touch the handsome alphas as they worked up a sweat.

“Jungkook is such a competitive bastard.” Hoseok laughed. “But I don’t know what’s gotten into Yoongi today. i can’t believe he’s in the pool. “

“Of his own volition. “ Lisa added. “ usually someone has to strip him and toss him in.

Yoongi kept glancing at me every few minutes. It was impossible to miss. It was also impossible to miss that at least three of the six women in the pool were trying to get into his pants.

I sighed and turned back to the bartender asking for a refill. when i turned back around, Jungkook and Yugyeom were climbing out of the pool and Jin was moving to the opposite side to take their place with Jimin.

“Jungkook and i are going to go get a drink. Anything for you , beautiful?” Yugyeom reached out to touch me and I almost fell in my haste to get away from him.

“Keep your hands off me.” I snapped . Jungkook frowned.

“No need to be rude, Heejin , he was just being polite.” He said softly and i smelt the alcohol on his breath.

“Don’t drink too much Jungkook.”

“Oh come on, beautiful., Its his birthday let him live a little...” Yugyeom laughed and I glared at him.

“I’d rather have him live longer “ I snapped. “ And that can’t happen if you keep trying to give him alcohol poisoning.”

Yugyeom rolled his eyes.

“Is she always this dramatic, Jungkook-ah.” Yugyeom laughed. Jungkook didn’t laugh but he gave me a look that said, ‘ please don’t make a scene’ and I bit my lips.

I didn’t want to ruin his night. He looked ....so close to a normal person tonight and whether I liked it or not Yugyeom had contributed to that. The music was apparently Jungkook’s favorites only, the pool because he loved volleyball in the water and the buffet had all his favorite foods. Yugyeom had gone out of his way to make the party perfect and i suddenly felt like the troll stomping on Jungkook’s happiness.

Swallowing my own instinct to drag my husband away from the alpha who had his arms around him, I turned away and walked off to the pool. Yoongi’s face lit up when he saw me.

“Hey there, angel. Here to watch me kick some ass? “ He cupped his hands in the water, before tossing a handful of water at me. I blinked in surprise, laughing a little.

“I’m just here to cheer Jin oppa. “ I said impishly, moving over to the lounge chair near his side of the pool. Yoongi’s pout was adorable and I couldn’t help but laugh.

Maybe I could stop worrying about Jungkook for a while. Yugyeom wasn’t dangerous. Even if he got a little drunk, I was still here. So were all of our friends.

It would be fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it wasn’t fine.

An hour later, I found Jungkook in a room filled with cigarette smoke and light music, yugeyom and his friends scattered around the place with a few beautiful women lounging about on their laps.

“You said one drink Yugyeom...he’s completely out of his mind.” I said shrilly staring at where Jungkook sat on the couch , shirtless and laughing as some girl in a bikini ran her fingers up and down his arm. She had one leg draped over his thigh. I felt sick at the very sight of it.

its because he’s drunk , I told myself. He’s drunk and can’t consent, that’s why you feel sick, nothing else.

Yugyeom gave me an easy smile.

“Guy just wants to have some fun. Reina’s a friend of mine. She’ll take good care of him don’t worry. She’s the birthday gift i got him. “ He leered.

I resisted the urge to punch him in the face.

Glaring at him,

“Jungkook, we’re leaving. Come on.” I made to move towards him but a hand shot out, gripping my wrist like a vice.

“Not so fast baby.... I already paid for her. You can’t just waltz in here and take away her livelihood.” He sneered. “ Unless you want to take her place. This is a special bar you know. All these lovelies, they have something in common with you.”

I stared at him frowning.

“What does that mean?”

“I hired them from an omega escort agency...you know because that’s all you omegas are useful for anyway.”

I rolled my eyes, yanking on my wrist.

“You and your medieval ideals can go to hell. I’m going home. Jungkook!!” I yelled again and this time Jungkook turned eyes landing on me.

“Heejin?” He slurred.

“We need to go home, Jungkook.” I said firmly.

“Now?” He blinked. I nodded.

“Yes now.” I made to move away but this time Yugyeom wrapped both arms around my waist, pinning me to his body. Pain , sharp and unbearable shot up my ribs and I whimpered. He was squeezing too hard and God what if the cracked rib just snapped?

Panic began setting in and I yelped.

“Let me go you bastard.” I struggled to get away, staring in disbelief at my husband .

Jungkook was standing but he swayed dangerously. There was no clarity there and his eyes were hooded. He was drunk. Really, really drunk.

“Jungkook tell him to let me go!!” I yelled , trying to tamp down the panic that was rising up my throat.

“Don’t worry Kook. Just gonna ask her to wait outside for a while. Why don’t you finish your conversation with Reina.. i’ll entertain your wife for a while.” He drawled and i felt my entire body go ice cold at that.

Jungkook was blinking rapidly, the words clearly not registering and genuine terror began to bleed into my veins. Jungkook couldn’t even fathom that i was in genuine danger here, let alone help me. Oh God, why had i come alone? Where were the others??

Yugyeom held me tighter and i swallowed a groan . My ribs felt like they were on fire.

“Let’s take this somewhere private, Heejin?” He whispered into my neck and i couldn’t believe it. Yugyeom was drunk yes, but was this idiot also insane?

“Wait...no.. Yugeyom don’t be a fucking idiot. If you touch me, that’s fucking rape...You can go to prison for that .” I shouted, trying to drill some sense into his head. He wasn’t going to risk prison to make a point was he??

“Not if you seduce me angel...and you’re going to... Or I’ll just tell people you did...same difference , right?” he whispered.

And then he began dragging me off to the corner and my eyes fell on a side door leading out of the room .

If you let him take you there this is going to become frighteningly real, a voice screamed in my head and I inhale deeply, ready to scream loud enough to get the attention of everyone in the damned building.

The door opened just as I opened my mouth and I froze, watching Mrs Jeon walk into the lounge, looking lost.

“What is this place?” She muttered out loud looking around and the arms around me fell away so fast, I crashed to the floor.

“Heejin-ah!” Yoongi’s voice came from right behind her and I flinched, willing my shaking legs to stop trembling.

“Mrs. Jeon...” I muttered, voice strained and ribs throbbing.

“Heejin? What is going on here? Where’s my son?”

“Fuck... Jungkook-ah...” Yoongi moved to get him and I took a deep steadying breath.

Years ago , I’d taken a self defence class and one thing i’d definitely enjoyed learning was how to throw a punch. And It wasn’t something i’d forgotten.

Planting my feet firmly , i lightly rotated my hips, a subtle shift, before engaging my core , drawing all the fury and helpless rage inside me into my fist. I pulled my shoulders in and took a deep breath. Punch past your target , i told myself. You’re not just going to break his jaw you’re going to put him in the hospital tonight.

“Mrs. Jeon, Jungkook had a great time toni-” His voice was all i needed to hear to know exactly where his mouth was behind me.

i relaxed my muscles as i threw the punch, contracting them just as my fist landed on Kim Yugyeom’s face.

The satisfying sound of flesh on bone felt like music to my ears and Yugyeom’s sharp cry of sheer agonizing pain even sweeter.

He crashed to the floor in a heap and I could feel my fist throb like hell. I was going to bruise so badly. But it was worth it.

“That was for telling me that you were going to rape me and tell everyone that i seduced you.” I said calmly.

Yoongi let out a noise of disbelief.

“What the actual fuck.....” He shouted.

“Yugyeom what the fuck man? Are you out of your damned mind?” One of his friends yelled. Yugyeom merely groaned.

He couldn’t answer, blood trickling down his chin and hands cradling his jaw, whimpers falling out of his mouth. My own fist throbbed like hell so the damage had to be significant.

Mrs Jeon looked horrified and when she opened her mouth i quickly held a hand up.

“I’m not doing this. Not tonight. “ I said calmly. Jungkook was quiet, the way he always got when he was drunk and I groaned.

It was going to be a long night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We need to talk.” I said calmly and Jungkook swallowed.

“Heejin, I’m -”

“Hear me out first Jungkook.” I said sharply. “ I don’t need your apology, it means nothing to me because it means nothing to you. You’re not sorry that you didn’t help me last night. You’re just angry that you had to help at all. You don’t give a fuck about me. I know that and I’m okay with that. What I’m not okay with is you getting drunk to the point that you don’t even recognize that someone’s in need of help. “

I took a deep breath.

“If you did it to me, you’ll do it to your daughter too. Yugyeom is going to get you drunk someday when you’re taking care of Mina by yourself and then when she needs you, what are you going to do?”

“You’re right... I shouldn’t have gotten that drunk -”

“I’m only here , talking to you , because of your daughter. If it was just you, I wouldn’t give a damn because you’re an adult and if you make your bed , you can just lie on it. It wouldn’t bother me. But Mina...she’s not capable of making the right choices. She need a father who can make the right choices, because whatever shitty choice you make, your daughter is going to be there along for the ride whether she wants to or not. You drive your car off a cliff tomorrow , she’s going to be there in the car seat laughing because she doesn’t know the consequences of your choices. “

I clenched my fists to keep my voice even. To stop myself from yelling.

“I have something for you. “

I grabbed the brown paper wrapped canvas from under the table.

“It’s a painting . Your wife commissioned me to make this a year ago when she got pregnant.”

He froze so eerily still that it made me nervous.

“At first , i wasn’t sure if i should be giving it to you because well... because i was marrying you ... I wasn’t sure that it would be right, coming from me ...because I was taking your wife’s place after all...”

i laughed.

“Now I know that's just bullshit. I don’t have a place in your life. I’m a nobody. This isn’t about me. This is about you. She told me back then that you were nervous about being a father. That was all she said. And she wanted me to pain this. “ I held the canvas out to him.

“You can see it. I’m going to go stay with Jin oppa for a few days. I want you to see it. It shows how your wife saw you. The kind of father she hoped you would be. I want you to see it and make a choice. You can either get the help you need. “ i took a deep breath, “ Or I’m going to tell Yoongi that you’re incompetent to be a father. He’ll file charges , “ I had to close my eyes to get the next words out, “ and you will lose custody of your daughter.”

Jungkook inhaled sharply, hands curling into fists on his knees.

“i hope you make the right choice.”

I wrapped both my arms around myself and walked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s note. :

I’m so exhausted I’ll tag people tomorrow!

.@girlinthemikrokosmos @xius-exos @sugainfireslex @yunkichiee@kpopstudybee @ephyraaaa @peachoney9795 @ggukkieland @veronawrites @blr1004 @tinyhoagiepartylover @btsis7okay@squishyjk @itsdingdong @emmmui @honeeybunneey @yeonkiminnie

@just-me-and-myselfs @delicate-snow-flake @kpop-lore @beautifulvirgobutterfly @sumzysworld @btsmylife21 @teresaisla

.@melrosaeparker @taestannie @dchimminie @ meraki--life @somewhereinthestarss @mawwnsterr @kookiesbreaky @chimchoom

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watchmegetobsessed · 5 years ago

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Waiting for you - Harry Styles

❄️ FANFICmas 2020 ❄️

Read more about FANFICmas here!

i wrote it over like a month ago, but kept it for today, i hope yall will like it! it’s a cute bestfriends to lovers fic, so yeah... happy holidays, hope you are having an amazing time!

word count: 13k

masterlist

Harry Styles has been a household name around your home, but not for the reason many would think. While for the rest of the world he was the famous singer, former member of One Direction and recent solo artist, the guy who performs at the biggest arenas, wins awards and sings his heart out through the radio, for you and your mom he was the goofy, curly haired boy who lived across the street with his mum, sister and stepdad.

You still remember all too clear the first time you met him. You and your mum just moved into your new home after the nasty divorce of your parents, ready to start a new life. You’ve barely turned twelve, it was quite the awkward stage of your teenage years, you were still trying to find yourself on the rocky road of growing up. Moving to a whole new town and switching schools were terrifying and you had quite a few nightmares about possible outcomes of being the new girl in the neighborhood.

You and your mum just finished unpacking the dishes in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. She rushed to answer it and you wandered behind her, curiously peeking at the guests under her arm as she held the door open.

“Hi! We saw the trucks and thought we would say hi! I’m Anne and this is my son, Harry,” the nice woman greeted your mum and stepping aside she gestured towards the teenage boy standing next to her.

His green eyes fell to you almost immediately and you forgot to breathe for a moment. You were not the kind to crush that easily on guys, well, not until you laid your eyes on Harry. He smirked at you, nodding in your way in such an easy-going manner and you could feel the heat crawling up your neck to your cheeks and ears.

Anne and your mum quickly became good friends. She was the rock your mum definitely needed after such a bad year behind her and you were glad she found support in such a wonderful woman as Anne. Their newly funded friendship got stronger day by day until the two families just… simply felt one.

Growing up the Styles siblings and Anne came and go in your home as if they lived there too. On many occasions you came home from school only to find Anne in the kitchen while your mother wasn’t even home. Anne always knew when your mum was working the night shift at the hospital where she was a nurse and always made sure you had a warm dinner on those evenings, often inviting you over to just stay at theirs while your mum was away working. Birthdays, graduations, Easters and Christmases, they were all spent at either yours or at the Styles home, strengthening the bond between the two families.

You have always had a strong friendship with Gemma, but maybe because you were closer in age or for something else, but you became the closest with Harry. Two peas in a pod, as your mums liked to call the two of you. You weren’t just neighbors or good friends, it was clear to anyone and to both of you as well that you were the best of friends. You were there for each other at the best and worst of times, before and after Harry’s launch to stardom. You were there with him all along, sometimes physically, sometimes just through text messages and reassuring calls when he just needed a piece of his home away from home. Late night calls and talks were your usual when he was on the road and he made sure to only talk about his life after you’ve told him everything about yours, even if the most interesting thing was that you were able to buy three socks for the price of two. Harry listened and cared for everything that happened to you, not letting you think even for a moment that he would forget about his best friend when he is on the other side of the planet.

The two of you grew up together and while his life consisted of concerts, screaming fans, telly appearances and award shows, your mundane everydays went on the same was as any normal young girl’s: you graduated from high school, went to uni and then started a career for yourself. As time was moving it became a little more and more complicated to stay as close as you used to, though, both of you terribly busy with your own personal lives, so the calls, texts and meetings became less frequent, but you were always able to pick up from where you left, it was as easy with him as it could be.

Maybe that’s why you grew to love him in a more than friendly way through the years. Slowly, but surely you started to realize what an amazing man he really was –is. It was impossible not to fall for him, however you valued your close friendship more than to just ruin it with dropping a bomb on Harry. You always thought he doesn’t feel the same way, so you were sadly left with your daydreams and fantasies about him only your bedroom walls heard.

This year it’s gonna be the tenth Christmas you get to celebrate together, quite the anniversary. There were only two years when you didn’t see each other during the holidays, the first one because you and your mum spent it in Canada with some relatives that live there, and the second one was because Harry couldn’t come home a few years ago, having a too tight schedule. But this year, everyone made sure to make it back home in time. Harry called you three month before Christmas to check in if you are still gonna coming home.

“Would be an idiot not to. Can’t wait to stuff my head with cookies!” you chuckled.

“Have you found your sweater yet?” Harry questioned, the muffled noise of the traffic around him broke through the line as he was on his way home when he called.

“Not yet. But I’ve been looking. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna win this year,” you smirked in victory.

“Oh, not so fast with the assumptions, little girl!” he warned you making you laugh.

The two of you had a kind of tradition. Every year, you go on mission to find the ugliest Christmas sweaters one could find, and then perform a chosen song at the karaoke machine after dinner, entertaining the rest of the family. Those performances are the best memories you nurse. Your absolute favorite one was just a couple of years ago when Harry’s sweater was filled with weird looking reindeers in quite inappropriate poses, he even added a glittery pair of sunnies and he sang I Want To Break Free from the Queen. Everyone was on the floor laughing as he took the living room by storm as if it was the Maddison Square Garden filled with thousands of screaming fans, while it was just the five of you.

He won that year, Hell, even you voted on him, giving him the cleanest win of all times, but you swore to live up to that performance and you really feel like this year is gonna be your chance to live up to that promise. You have quite some tricks up your sleeves.

These past couple of years you were anxiously waiting for the holidays to roll around, because you knew you would get to spend so much time with Harry and through the year, even with several occasions of the two of you meeting, you missed him dearly. Sometimes you selfishly wished he would have just stayed the boy across the street so your lives could take tracks that run at least close to each other, but you always reminded yourself that his work was his life and you would have never taken away his true passion and happiness. Besides, you love watching him perform from time to time, that was just one of your favorite sides of him, see his eyes shine so bright as he sang to his fans. You used to envy the fangirls, it always seemed like he had a special connection with them, but you realized that you were one of them. You felt the same excitement when he stepped on the stage, you bought all his albums, even though he made sure you’d be one of the first people to get your hands on it. You had a second copy of them, because buying it gave you the extra jolt of happiness and the feeling that you were a tiny part of his success too. You watched all his music videos, knew the lyrics to his songs and cheered on him whenever he won another award. Difference was that at the end of the day you could call him and tell him how proud you were of him and he stared back at you with that beautiful grin, his dimples digging deep in his cheeks, telling you that he wouldn’t be here without you. You always knew he just said it to make you feel special, but he insisted it was the truth.

“I’m telling you. It you weren’t with me I would have gone crazy already, pulling a Justin Bieber or summat. Don’t think you are any less than what you are, that’s just daft.”

Every time he said something along those lines those damned butterflies in your stomach went crazy and you tried your best to ignore them. You didn’t always succeed, but the effort was there.

Now it’s two days before Christmas and you are already standing in your old room after coming home from London, leaving your small but cozy little apartment empty until the next year. The walls are still the same lilac color you chose when you were fourteen, a twin bed is pushed against the wall under your window, the wardrobe’s door is littered with old pictures from high school and ones you cut out from magazines. You just never got around to take them down and after a while it brought you a comforting sense every time you came home. A warm nostalgia took over you when you saw them, so they eventually stayed.

Your suitcase is lying on the floor as you unpack some stuff you’ll be using often during your stay, but you don’t get far in the packing when you hear an all too familiar voice coming from downstairs. Leaving your stuff as it is you rush down and throw your arms around Anne from behind, who is standing in the kitchen with your mum.

“My sweet angel! How are you?!” she cheers turning around in your hold to hug you back, giving you a tight squeeze before she pushes you away so she can have a good look on you. “Swear you get prettier every time I see you!”

“Stop it, my head’s gonna get big,” you chuckle feeling yourself blushing a little.

“Never gonna stop praising my daughter,” she smiles and gifts you with a cheeky wink.

Anne was never shy to let you know that she thought of you as a second daughter and you still remember how it felt when she called you that for the first time. It felt nice to know that you could count on her no matter what.

The three of you chat in the kitchen, Anne asks you about your job and how things have been going, she hasn’t seen you in a while. You missed the times when you could just go across the street and have a talk with her whenever you wanted, but since you’ve moved to London, Harry wasn’t the only one you didn’t get to see as often as you would have wanted. Your job and life overall got you so busy sometimes, you barely had time to call your own mum.

“Harry is arriving this evening. Wanna come with us to fetch him up at the airport?” she asks you and of course you say yes. You wouldn’t miss the chance to greet him with a bone crushing hug just after he lands.

However, as the time nears when you’d have to leave to the airport, Anne calls you up and asks if you could go on your own.

“I didn’t finish cooking and Gems is in an online meeting. Would you mind if you went alone?” she asks and though it sounds a little made up, you don’t question her.

On your way to the airport you are nervously drumming on the wheel, the thought of seeing Harry excites and worries you a little. It’s been months since you last seen him in the flesh and though you’ve talked plenty of times on the phone and in video calls, it’s just not the same. You find yourself wondering if he still smells the same, if you’ll fit the same way into his embrace as before. When you were younger you often liked to think about the two of you as two pieces of legos when you hugged. Your frame just fitted so perfectly against his body, he was your absolutely favorite person to hug.

Standing in a corner at the terminal, you keep checking the board until his flight’s status changes to landed. Then your eyes are glued to the sliding glass doors, knowing well it’s gonna take him some time to get his bags and walk out, but you are just way too excited to finally see him again.

People start walking through the doors and your head perks up every time you see a slightly tall frame, only to realize it’s still not him. Until it is.

You can’t bite your growing smile back when you spot him, a beanie and the hood of his hoodie covering his mop of hair, sunnies hiding his eyes, but you’d recognize him even from just the tiniest detail. You push yourself away from the wall as you see him look around, probably searching for his mum and sister, because he was already on his way when Anne decided it’s gonna be you who fetches him up, so he doesn’t know about the change.

“Excuse me, can I get a picture?” you ask teasingly walking up to him and for a moment you can tell he believes it’s a fan who recognized him, but his face quickly changes once his eyes land on you.

“Fo’ fuck’s sake, you had me for a second,” he breathes out, his arms already reaching out to pull you against him and you gladly envelop yourself into his hold. “What are you doing here?” he mumbles tightening his arms around you, and you don’t mind it. As you face is pressed into his shoulder you smile when you realize that he still smells the same. Like home.

“Your mum asked me to come and get you because she didn’t finish cooking. But if you ask me she just wanted to surprise you with me. You happy to see me?” you smirk up at him letting your head fall back so you could look into his eyes.

“Always,” he grins before placing a soft kiss to your temple and letting go of you.

The two of you leave the terminal before anyone could recognize him and packing his stuff up into the car you head back home.

You hand your phone over to him once you hit the road so he can be in charge of the music and it’s no surprise when he starts playing Christmas music straight away. Grinning to yourself you glance over at him and see him scrolling through your camera roll like the nosy little gremlin that he is.

“Hey! I did not give you permission to snoop around my phone!” you warn him, but don’t try to snatch it away from him, there’s really nothing he shouldn’t see, besides, half of those pics have been sent to him through messages.

“Just tryna catch up w’ you,” he mumbles under his breath, continuously opening up photos he is interested in. “New couch, eh?” he asks showing you the screen for a second.

“Yeah, bought it a few weeks ago. You like it?”

“Looks comfy. I should try it out sometime.”

“You never sleep on my couch, what are you talking about?”

“Right, you always drag me t’ your bed,” he snorts and you gasp at him, smacking his chest gently.

“That’s so not true! You always just arbitrarily make yourself comfortable in my bed and I don’t have the heart to kick you out,” you correct him.

There hasn’t been many times when Harry crashed at your place, but when he did, he always slept in your bed with you, and the two of you have shared a bed a few other times prior too. It’s nothing new, though it does have a deeper meaning for you than for him, you think. Waking up with Harry snoring lightly next to you, admiring how peaceful and beautiful he is in this intimate state, you just wish you could see him like this all the time.

Harry smirks at you cheekily, scrunching his nose as he chuckles.

“’Cause I wouldn’t want to sleep anywhere else, Love,” he says before turning his attention back to your phone while you try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach at the nickname.

It’s quite late by the time you get home, you’ve run into some traffic, but it just meant more time with Harry. You gladly listened to his stories and you are happy you got some alone time with him. Parking up to your driveway you help him unload his bags before locking the car.

“Wanna go to the Christmas market in the morning? Promised Gemma I’d go with her and Michal,” he asks, slowly walking down the driveway towards his home.

“Uh, sure,” you nod smiling. Not that you had any other plans, the holidays are reserved for family and the Styles’ are family.

“Great, I’ll be here at ten. And thanks for the ride,” he smirks waving goodbye and you watch him cross the street before he disappears in his home and you do the same.

“Y/N? Is that you?” your mum calls out when you walk in.

“Were you expecting anyone else?” you ask, hanging your coat before you join her in the living room.

“Not,” she smiles giddily. “Was everything alright at the airport?”

You throw your legs over her lap and she squeezes your ankles playfully.

“Yeah, everything fine.”

“How is Harry?”

“Cheeky and smug, as always,” you huff smirking.

“Can’t wait to see him. I feel like I haven’t seen ‘im in ages.”

“When are they coming over tomorrow?”

“Anne said she’ll come around four to help me cook, the rest I don’t know. Dinner will be done around seven though.”

“I’m pretty sure Gemma and Harry will be here along with Anne,” you snort, knowing well they wouldn’t miss a chance to come over, especially Harry. He has been talking nonstop how he’ll be glued to your hip once he is back home, making up for all the time you’ve spent apart.

“They surely will,” your mum chuckles before you both turn your attention at the telly.

You go to bed way after midnight and finish up the packing you left abruptly when you left to get Harry. Shuffling around in your room you glance out the window and see that the light in Harry’s room is on too. Peeking out you lean against the window’s frame, thinking about the times when the two of you sat in the window, talking on the phone after curfew, keeping your voice down so your parents didn’t wake up, sharing secrets and your silliest thoughts. With Harry, you never felt like you had to keep anything back, he would have never judged you for anything, you could be your true self around him and vice versa.

A tall figure appears at the window and as Harry glances out his window he is quick to see you sitting on the window sill, your head resting against the frame. The two houses are not far away from each other and you see him grinning as he sits at the window as well, pulling out his phone, a moment later yours starts buzzing on the nightstand. You quickly grab it, and go back to the window.

“Creeping on me, eh?” he hums into the phone and you roll your eyes at him.

“Was just admiring the street lights, don’t flatter yourself, your head is getting too big,” you huff, but you can’t push your smirk down.

“Admit it, you were hoping to see me roam around naked, weren’t you?”

“As if I haven’t seen you like that before,” you snort making him laugh too. It’s true, Harry has never been shy to get rid of his clothes and he also doesn’t bother to draw the blinds whenever he is changing. You once saw him butt naked when he was nineteen, and when you told him to close the blinds next time he is changing, he just shrugged with a smug smile.

“’M not ashamed of anything, Love,” he told you and you had to turn away because you were blushing for sure.

“Right, you’re a fan of putting yourself on full display when you’re naked, almost forgot,” you chuckle shaking your head. “Millions of girls have the picture of you, lying naked on their walls.”

“You one of them?” he cheekily asks.

“Nah, doesn’t go well with the vibe of my apartment.”

“Shame. Though I think it would definitely look amazin’ above your bed, Love.”

“Now would it? I don’t know about that.”

“I’ll get you a copy framed,” he smirks and you can see it clear even from the distance. “Y’ know what? I’ll make you an exclusive one. One that nobody else has, how does that sound?”

“I can’t believe you, Styles,” you chuckle shaking your head. “I’m not gonna answer this, just gonna head to bed. You should too.”

“So we’re not sharing any secrets like we used to? Thought you’d have something fo’ me.”

“You know everything, Harry,” you sigh with a soft smile, though your heart skips a beat. He does know everything, except one big, fat, heavy secret you’ve been carrying around for way too long, that will probably stay with you forever.

“Right. Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Night, Harry.”

“Good night, Love,” he murmurs and you know he is smiling, thought he steps away from the window as he says goodbye and you do the same before ending the call.

***

“Hey! That’s mine!” you protest as Harry steals another roasted chestnut from your little paper bag, but you can’t stay mad at him when he is smiling at you so sweetly.

“Sorry, tastes better when it’s someone else’s.”

“Sure,” you snort and just let him get as many as he wants. You wouldn’t have eaten it all anyway.

It’s quite cold out in the town, but at least there’s no rain or storm, so the weather didn’t try to ruin your little trip to the Christmas market.

Gemma calls out for Harry to show him something and you just keep wandering between the booths, enjoying the atmosphere quite a lot, you have no idea when was the last time you got to come to the market, though you always loved coming when you were younger.

Finishing up your chestnuts you throw the paper bag into a trash can and turn around to find the rest of your little group, spotting Harry and Gemma deep in discussion next to a booth that offers handmade ceramic mugs. As you walk closer it almost seems like as if they were having a fight, which is just odd, they rarely do that.

“Just get your head out of your arse!” you catch Gemma telling her brother who only groans in frustration before he spots you, a smile plastering across his face.

“Hey, there you are!” he beams.

“Everything alright?” you ask looking at them.

“Sure, just Gemma is being a little nosy, is all,” Harry waves in dismiss. You glance over to Gems, but she is already back in discussion with Michal so you decide to drop it. “You ate all the chestnuts?” Harry asks offended, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“Well, it was mine, so of course I ate them!”

“Selfish,” he narrows his eyes at you, but you both know it’s just a joke.

You walk further down in the aisle, occasionally stopping at some of the booth when you spot a place that offers hot chocolate in cute little mugs that you can take home with you if you’d like, or just take it back and get your money back.

“Oh look!” you gasp excitedly and head towards the hot chocolate booth. The old lady smiles brightly at the two of you as you take a look at all the choices. “Oh my god, they have caramel flavored!” you cheer, basically already drooling at the thought of a good, caramel flavored hot chocolate.

“What can I get for the lovely couple?” the lady smiles warmly at the two of you and you freeze at her assumption.

“Oh we—“ you start, but Harry cuts you off.

“A caramel flavored and a plain one, please,” he orders, without even batting an eye about how the lady just called you a couple. You can feel your cheeks heating up at the thought, but you try to calm yourself. He probably just didn’t want to get into explaining that you two are not an item and let her think what she wanted.

The nice lady hands you your mug and you take Harry’s as well as he pays for both of them. You would try to argue with him and pay yours, but you are already used to how stubborn he is and he never lets you split anything, it’s always on him.

“Thank you, have a nice day!” Harry calls out to the lady before the two of you leave. You peek at him handing him his mug, looking for any clue that would give away if this little scene got him just as bothered as it did you, but he looks perfectly fine and relaxed, so you decide not to bring it up. You’re sure he didn’t think much of it.

Your little stroll stretches into the afternoon, the four of you decide to have lunch out there too, then you just opt for a walk in town as Gemma wants to do a quick last minute Christmas shopping, so by the time you get home Anne is already over at yours helping your mum with dinner. Tonight you are all eating at yours, then tomorrow it’s the Styles’ turn to host, this is how you agreed this year.

“Woah, it smells amazing!” you call out walking into the house. The delicious smells fill up the whole place and you hear the two women giggling in the kitchen.

“Hi Honey, how was the market?” your mum greets you, a glass of red wine in her hand and the same goes for Anne.

“Great, we have a new mug,” you say holding up the emptied out hot chocolate mug. Stepping to the sink you wash it quickly and drying off you put it away in one of the cabinets.

You stick around in the kitchen and not so much later Harry comes over, the two of you leave your mums alone and get comfortable in front of the telly.

All channels are filled with holiday movies and you don’t mind, really, you like them all even if you’ve seen them a million times, you still find them funny and cute. Harry feels the same way, so when you settle on Love Actually he doesn’t say a word.

What startles you is that he grabs your ankles and pulls your legs over his lap, a small shriek escaping your mouth since you weren’t expecting him to do that. You’re sitting sideways, your legs are bent at the knee and Harry is kind of hugging them as his eyes are glued to the screen.

You find it rather hard to focus on the movie when Harry’s fingers keep fidgeting on your legs, they keep running up and down, sometimes he lays his hands flat on your knees, there’s no spot he hasn’t touched since you started watching the movie.

About an hour into the film he turns to you and you look at him in question.

“’M in the mood to cuddle,” he announces and starts moving around, not even letting you protest as he basically crawls to your lap, resting his head on your stomach as the two of you lay on the couch.

“Am I now your personal pillow?” you ask chuckling, but you wouldn’t want him to move for anything. Feeling him weigh down on you just feels so warm and simple but amazing.

“The best one,” he mumbles, bringing a hand to your side as you let your fingers comb through his curls.

You keep massaging his scalp and he lets out soft moans when you go over a soft spot, you can’t help but chuckle as he melts under your hands. His fingers start drawing circles on your side and the movie is long forgotten by you, all you can focus on is how great it is to have Harry so close to you. He is known to be a physical person, you are used to hugs and touches, but it seems like he is a little needier now than the usual.

You don’t mind it though, you just try to enjoy the moment, because it can end anytime.

Gemma and Michal come over a little before seven, and while your mums finish up the cooking the four of you set the table. You grab the crystal glasses and start placing them to the table, Harry lending you a hand. Once the table is all set you shuffle into the kitchen to see if there’s anything you can help with, Harry following you behind, placing a hand to the small of your back.

As you stand and wait for you mum to finish up the meals so you can help carry them to the table you feel Harry’s hand wander over to your hip, giving it a squeeze as he stands closer, so his chest is pressed against your back.

“Harry?” you ask a little out of breath.

“Hm?” he innocently hums.

“What’s with you today?” Turning your head to the side your eyes lock with his, but he just shrugs smiling.

“Guess I just missed yeh a lot.”

“You’re weird,” you chuckle shaking your head, but don’t make an effort to push him away. His touch feels way too good to put an end to it and you just want to be selfish a little longer.

His hands leave you when the two of you help to bring the food to the table, and you almost wish they would just return, but you gotta swallow the thought.

The food is amazing, as always. You all sip on some wine, just having a genuinely good time, enjoying that all of you are back at one place, something that rarely happens now that all three of you kids are all grown up.

At one point Harry rests his arm on the back of your chair, no one seems to notice but you. All these little things have been driving you crazy all day and your mind seems to be playing a nasty game with you. There’s no way Harry thinks of these details more than what they are, a friendly gesture towards an old friend of his.

When Gemma is telling a story about some weird guy she met at work Harry reaches up and pushes your hair behind your ear, his finger lingering over your neck a little longer than you would have expected. Turning to face him you give him a questioning look, not sure what to think about his needy and touchy self all of a sudden.

“What?” you mouth him, but he just smiles at you absentmindedly, curling a strand of hair around his finger, playing with it for a moment before letting go of it and going for another lock. You reach up and pull his hand away, feeling yourself heating up from his touch, but when you are about to let go of his hand he grabs yours, lacing your fingers together with yours as he rests them on his thigh.

“Harry…” you breathe out, glancing at the others, relieved to see that they are not paying much attention to the two of you.

“What? Am I not allowed to touch you?” he asks with a smug smirk and you roll your eyes at him.

“As I said, you’re weird,” you mumble under your breath looking down at your now empty plate. Harry gives your hand a squeeze.

“But like, the good kind of weird, yeah?”

“Shut up,” you chuckle shaking your head at him.

You try to tell yourself he is just needy because it’s been so long since you last saw each other. It can’t be more, you push even the smallest thought to the back of your mind, though it surely lingers there throughout the evening.

He helps you with washing the dishes, you stand arm to arm at the sink as you scrub the plates and hand over to him for drying. He gently hums to himself all along, swaying his hips, bumping against yours. At first you resist it, but then you catch the rhythm and start moving along, so your hips meet in the middle before swinging to the opposite side.

“What’s the song?” you ask finishing up the last plate.

“Just something random,” he shrugs smirking over at you. You hand him the last plate, he is still singing, making up gibberish lyrics to his song and once he puts the plate down he throws the kitchen cloth to the counter and easily grabs your waist pulling you against him as he starts swaying with you to his impromptu song. You let out a small shriek at the sudden movement, but eventually melt into his hold. The humming slowly turns into an all too familiar melody as Harry starts singing Sweet Creature into your ear, slow dancing in the kitchen while you hear your mums and Gemma laugh outside somewhere.

Your hands run up his arms and stop behind his neck as you lock your fingers and let him hold you close, his palms are pressed to your waist, fingers gently stroking you through the fabric of your shirt. You take a deep breath and his cologne fills your nose, one of your favorite scents, sometimes you just wish you could spray it on your pillow so it would always smell like him.

“Sweet creature, wherever I go, you bring me home…” he softly sings, leaning back just enough for your eyes to meet. It feels like your heart is about to burst out of your chest, it’s not the first time you feel so intimidated by him, like you could pass out any moment, but this is a little different. As if his eyes were telling you another story, but you can’t completely make up the words.

“Sweet creature, when I run out of road, you bring me home, you’ll bring me home.” He finishes the song, hums the closing melody and you watch him in complete awe. Your lips part when you catch his gaze move down to them and you swear you see him leaning closer, as if he is about to kiss you. Your breath gets caught in your throat, he is so close, just a few more inches and you’d taste those perfect lips of his, the ones you’ve been dreaming about for way too long.

It almost happens, it seems, but just when that last push is about to set in Gemma waltz into the kitchen and you step back faster than light, pushing him away even though the sudden lack of his touch is more painful than you were expecting.

“You guys—Oh, what’s up?” she asks stopping at the door and you feel yourself getting redder with each passing moment, the heat crawling up your neck, ears cheeks, right to the top of your head. What were you thinking? You let yourself believe Harry would ever kiss you, this whole scene was nothing more than just a friendly moment the two of you were sharing.

“I’m—sorry,” you breathe out making your way out of the kitchen, right up to your room to have some well needed space.

“Way to ruin everything,” Harry snickers at his sister.

“You joking? You wanted to kiss her in her mum’s kitchen?” Gemma snaps at him in disbelief.

“We were having a moment,” he mumbles rubbing his face with his hands. “Up until you stomped in with your big mouth.”

“Well, if you were havin’ a moment, just make it happen again.”

“As if it’s that easy, Gemma!” he scoffs throwing his hands in the air.

“Man up and tell her how you feel, don’t have to complicate it too much,” she shrugs before walking out and leaving her brother alone. Harry growls in frustration, the gears in his head turning wildly as he is trying to figure out how to come clear to you about his feelings.

Meanwhile, up in your room you get out your laptop and busy yourself with checking up on messages and emails you’ve been ignoring, hoping that the uneasy feeling in your chest will ease very soon. Your hands were shaking when you locked yourself up in your room, but as you get focused on other tasks you slowly gain your balance back.

You kind of even forget that the Styles’ were over, you only realize that you abruptly pulled yourself out of the evening when there’s a soft knock on your door.

“Come on in!” you call out and a moment later Harry’s head pops in, eyes softly falling on your sitting figure on the bed. “Hey,” you smile at him faintly.

“Hey. Thought you were sleepin’s or summat.” Coming inside he closes the door behind him then sits on your plush rug in the middle of the room.

“Just… sorted some work related things out,” you sigh.

“Working during the holidays? Tha’s not healthy.”

“I know, I’m done,” you smile shutting the laptop down and putting it aside. “Sorry I disappeared, I just—“

“No worries,” Harry shakes his head. “Mum and Gems went home, they thought you were sleeping too, tha’s why they didn’t say goodbye.”

“Oh, alright.”

“But I thought we could have a sleepover,” he peeks at you with a boyish smile.

“What, like we did in middle school?” you chuckle.

“Yea, thought it would be fun.”

“Well, I don’t think my bed would fit us comfortably and we don’t have the mattress anymore that you used to sleep on,” you tell him looking around.

“Nonsense, I’m not tha’ big,” he insists hopping to his feet and throwing himself on the bed, ignoring that you’re already there. His body takes up more than half on the bed , limbs wrapping around you as he brings you down to the mattress next to him, you can’t help the laugh that leaves your lips.

“You’re like a gigantic baby, Harry!” you laugh as he keeps you down on the bed with his arm.

“It’s perfectly fine for two people,” he mumbles with a smirk, closing his eyes as his head sinks into your pillow.

“Do you ever get no as an answer?” you ask looking at him in awe. You can never get used to seeing him so up close, like not many get to.

“No,” he huffs in satisfaction, his arm bringing you closer to him and you just giggle at him.

“I’m not sleeping just yet, gotta have a shower first.”

“Do what you want, I’ll be here,” he mumbles but you snort at him.

“You’re not sleeping in my bed without having a shower,” you tell him before you grab your pajamas and head to the bathroom.

You have a quick shower and get done with all your evening business. Returning to your room you find Harry sitting on the floor, his back against the side of the bed as he is scrolling through his phone.

“Does mum know you’re staying over?” you ask him as you throw your used clothes into the hamper, moving around the room while feeling his eyes on you.

“Yeah. ‘S all good.”

“You need a towel?”

“Yes please,” he says pushing himself up from the floor.

“Clothes?” you ask with an arched brow. He just grins at you and it’s enough of an answer. “Here,” you give him the shirt and sweats he has left at yours quite some time ago, along with a clean towel.

“Thanks,” he smirks before leaving to occupy the bathroom.

He doesn’t take long in there, you’re lying in bed already when he returns, smelling like your shower gel, strawberry and melon.

He throws his clothes to the chair in the corner and then lies beside you on the bed. You scoot over to the wall to give him space, but he is quick to bring you closer to him once he has made himself comfortable. You lay your head on his shoulder as you are both scrolling through your phones.

When you had enough, you throw yours to the nightstand, and stay cuddled up to his side.

“Do you remember the last time I slept here?” he asks tossing his phone to the nightstand and bringing his arms around you.

“Mm, was it at my twentieth birthday?”

“Yeah. You were so wasted,” he chuckles and you smirk to yourself

“But you took good care of me.”

“I did. You were so cute, rambling about how much you love me when I took you home from the pub.”

You bite into your bottom lip. You still remember that night vividly. Your birthday party had gone a little wild and you had gotten drunker than you intended to. Luckily, he was there to bring your home and he stayed in the bathroom with you as you threw up everything you ate and drank that evening. Then he made you take a shower, got you fresh clothes out and helped you get into bed. He slept next to you that night, holding you in his arms, gently caressing your back and upper arm as you fell into your drunken slumber. In the morning you told yourself he just did what any other friend would do, helping you out when you were clearly knocked out, but he made you breakfast in the morning since your mum was working all night and morning and he stayed over later the afternoon to make sure you were alright.

What you told him in your drunken state about loving him, it wasn’t just your friendly side, it was your drunken self coming clear to him, telling him that you are in love with him, but he didn’t take it seriously and you were too ashamed and awkward to even bring it up to him after that, so it was all forgotten very soon.

Following that you planned on telling him how you feel, several times. You even wrote a little speech you planned to give him when the time comes, but you couldn’t do it. The fear of losing him if he doesn’t feel the same was stronger than you expected and every time you had the chance to come clear, you chickened out. The thought of losing him as a friend is way worse than having to push your feelings down... forever. You just can’t imagine your life without Harry in it and you can’t risk losing him.

The two of you talk for quite a while, laughing about the good old times, until you both fall asleep. Sometime in the middle of the night you wake up and feel Harry wrapped around you, his head lying on your chest as he is snoring softly. He truly is like a big baby, an arm thrown over your stomach, his legs tangled with yours. Good Lord, how amazing it feels to have him so close to you!

Reaching up you tangle your fingers through his hair gently so he doesn’t wake up, his soft curls glide between your fingers easily and lifting your head you kiss the top of his head before letting yourself drift back to sleep.

When you open your eyes the next time the situation is the opposite, you are the one cuddled up to Harry’s side who is scrolling through his phone with one hand, keeping the other one on your arm.

“Mornin’, sleepy head,” he chuckles softly when he sees you awake.

“Mmm, what time is it?” you ask letting your head rest on his chest a little longer.

“Quarter to nine. You can sleep a little more if you want, it’s not that late.”

“No, I promised mum I’d help her wrap gifts,” you sigh rolling over to your stomach as you push yourself up to your elbows to look at him. “Love the double chin you got going there,” you tease him sleepily and he just smirks.

“Yea? Quite cute, right? Worked a lot on it,” he jokes running his finger over it before letting out a chuckle. “Ready for our battle today?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. You are going down this year, Styles,” you tell him pushing yourself up into a sitting position. Harry only pushes himself further on the bed enough to rest his head against the headboard.

“Oh really? I wouldn’t be that sure about tha’,” he warns you, but you are feeling pretty confident about your performance this year. There’s no way he can top it.

“We’ll see. Alright, I need a coffee. Want something for breakfast?” you ask him crawling out of the bed.

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

Your mum is already in the kitchen, sipping on her morning coffee while reading the paper. She doesn’t find it even a bit weird that Harry spent the night at yours, it’s been quite the usual for you. Harry helps you make eggs and bacon and the three of you eat together, having a lovely time and you genuinely feel like it’s just like in the good old times when you were still living home and Harry wasn’t Harry Styles, but the boy from across the street.

He goes home after breakfast to help his own mum with the cooking for tonight’s dinner and you don’t do much for the rest of the day, just spend time with your mum, watch movies and relax. It’s nice to unwind after such a busy year behind you.

Not long before five you go to take a shower and get ready to head over to the Styles’ and you pack everything you’ll need for the evening: gifts, ugly sweater, accessories. Harry is going down this year for sure.

It’s a little past six when you and your mum walk across the street, Anne’s Christmas lights are putting the little town house into the spirit for sure. You don’t even ring the bell, just walk straight in, like you always do. The Christmas tree stands tall in their living room and the table is already nicely set. Gemma and Michal are snuggled up on the couch while Harry is helping Anne in the kitchen with the finishing touches.

“I’m rooting for you this year,” Gemma winks at you when you set down your bag in the corner that has everything you’ll need for your performance.

“He’s gonna lose this round,” you smirk proudly, very sure in yourself.

Harry greets you with a bright smile and a tight hug when he walks into the living room, as if you didn’t just see each other a few hours earlier.

When the food is ready you all sit down to eat, and though you’re trying your best to focus on the conversation, you’re getting excited about tonight’s karaoke battle.

“Anxious much?” Harry asks you quietly.

“Why are you asking?”

He doesn’t answer, just places a hand to your thigh stopping it from shaking, making you realize you’ve been probably bouncing it all along. He smirks at you as you just roll your eyes at him.

“’S okay, you can handle one more year of losing,” he teases you and you give him an arched eyebrow.

“Don’t be so full of yourself, Harry,” you warn him, but he just squeezes your thigh again before bringing his hands back up to the table, leaving you a little breathless with his touch.

You all help clean up the table after dinner and when it’s done, you gather in the living room to open gifts.

When Harry’s career launched, the first few years you felt anxious about gifting him, because you felt like you couldn’t give him enough. He had all the money and bought everything he needed for himself, there wasn’t much you could give him. But when one time, you admitted to him this struggle of yours he assured you that it doesn’t matter what you give him, it’ll always be precious to him.

“You thought about me, you took the time to buy something for me, and that’s more than enough, Y/N,” he told you and though it took you time, but you got used to it. Especially when you saw the same excitement in his eyes every time you gifted something to him, you slowly but surely realized he wasn’t expecting a Gucci suit, but a thoughtful gesture.

Gathering in the living room you open the presents one by one and just as always, everyone was quite creative with the gifts. You can’t help but still feel a little anxious when Harry grabs his gift from you. Giving you an excited look he unties the little bow on the top and tears the wrapping paper off.

“Y/N!” he breathes out, eyes softening as he pulls the knitted cardigan out of the box.

“I always saw you wearing all sorts of cardigans and so I finally had a reason to learn how to knit, so I thought I would make one for you,” you ramble as he holds up the baby blue cardigan that has little daisies all over the front. It took you an entire week to just make the daisies, you worked on the whole cardigan for more than two months, usually in the middle of the night, staying up until unholy hours to finish in time.

But Harry’s smile is worth it all, he is beaming, clearly so in love with what you made him, so you breathe out relieved. He then puts it aside and wraps his arms around you pulling you into the tightest hug.

“Thank you, I love it so much,” he mumbles and kisses your temple and you breathe in his sweet scent, burying yourself in his embrace, hugging his waist.

When you part, Harry reaches for a box from under the tree and hands it to you, a nervous smile tugging on his lips. You can tell he wrapped the gift himself, the silver wrapping paper is a little uneven, but the huge rainbow colored bow on the top is the perfect touch that makes it like a piece of him.

You carefully tear the paper off, peeking inside you just see a plain box that doesn’t give much away. Glancing up at Harry you see how he is anxiously biting his bottom lip, even though you’d be happy with a gift as small as a candle. It’s the thought that counts.

“I-I wasn’t sure if this was the one you mentioned to me, so I hope it’s gonna be alright,” he mumbles, eyes fixed on your hands as they open the box, while you try to think back what you have told him about that caught his attention, but you just can’t recall what you wanted to get so badly you told Harry about it.

As you open the box you don’t process what it is immediately, the plastic wrapper making it hard to figure it out, but when you carefully pull out the object, you gasp in surprise.

“Harry!” you breathe out as you pull off the plastic of the old, vintage polaroid camera. It’s not one of these new types you can buy in stores easily, this is a classic, must have quite a history behind it.

Now you vaguely remember talking about longing for an oldschool, vintage camera, but it was months ago and you’ve forgotten about the whole thing since these devices cost a fortune because there aren’t many left from them. But now there’s one in your hands, because Harry not only listened to you, but he remembered and went out of his way to find you one in amazing condition.

“This must have cost a fortune!” you huff, your heart pounding in your chest, though you already know it doesn’t matter to him.

“This face is worth every penny,” he smiles at you softly before you throw yourself at him for another round of hugging. This man surely knows how to have you wrapped around his fingers.

The two of you sit on the floor as you figure out how to make the camera work, Harry bought everything needed, so you have a few packs of films as well. When it’s all done you bring it up to your face and aim it at Harry. It takes him a moment to realize that you’re about to snap your first photo and he tries to snatch the camera away, but it’s too late, the flash goes off and the device pushes out the undeveloped picture.

“You wasted your first snap on me?” he protests rubbing his eyes after the flash blinded him for a little.

“It’s not a waste,” you tell him as you patiently wait for the picture to finally appear.

Slowly, the colors start to show and in a couple of minutes Harry’s face appears, his hand reaching in the direction of the camera, looking out of focus, only his face appearing clearly. He looks so delicate, his eyes dazzling as a soft smile plays on his lips. This moment now will live forever not just in your mind, but on this photo.

Harry goes out with his karaoke performance this year for sure and you’d be actually anxious about him winning if only you didn’t have the absolutely best performance right in your pocket.

His sweater this year features some really ugly looking penguins and a horroristic reindeer on the back, it’s really ugly and you can’t even imagine who thought it would be fine to make it and then sell it. His choice of music is also excellent, he has a great eye for songs you’d never imagine him perform and then shock everyone with it. This year, he chose Rude Boy by none other than Rihanna, and it’s fantastic, no one can make it through the song without crying. Harry makes sure to put on his best show, even dancing and twerking unapologetically, trying everything to win the battle and you are amazed by his effort. Above all the fun and jokes, he nails the song, that’s undeniable. It always baffles you how he can just slay any and all genres, even the ones that stand a million miles away from his style.

When the song is over, you all cheer for him, because he truly deserves it. He grins down at you in victory, but you just give him a challenging smirk.

“You can just give up now, if you want,” he teases you as you stand up from the couch and the two of you trade places.

“Oh, I think you should be the one to worry about losing,” you warn him grabbing your bag. Stepping to Gemma you whisper into her ear, instructing her to put on your song when you call out from the bathroom, since you are planning on do a grandiose entrance. When she hears what song you’ll be singing she gasps.

“Oh my fucking God, no way!” he looks at your with wide eyes.

“What? What is it?” Harry asks, dying to know what you just told his sister, but you shake your head at him.

“Patience,” you tell him before locking yourself up in the bathroom.

This year, you didn’t find the sweater, the sweater found you. On one of your thrift tours, you were digging up a huge pile of clothes when you came right across it and you knew what you needed to do.

Putting on the sweater you fix up your hair quickly before putting on your party glasses, the one that lights up if you switch it on. You take one last look at yourself in the mirror and smirk at your reflection knowing well you’ll have everyone dead when you walk out.

“Gemma! You can start it!” you call out with your hand on the doorknob, waiting to hear the music. Gemma quickly starts in and you haven’t even stepped out, you can hear a round of gasps.

Best Song Ever blasts through the speakers and you walk out trying your best to imitate a younger version of Harry, wearing the absolute ugliest Christmas sweater ever, that has the faces of One Direction all over it, filling up every inch of the fabric, and all of them have poorly photoshopped Santa hats on, it’s just literal trash and ridiculously perfect for the battle.

You grab the mic and start singing as everyone screams in the room. You jump, sing and even do the dance moves the boys do in the original music video, and when you look at Harry you see him staring at you in disbelief and total defeat. Everyone knows you won, nothing can top this performance ever and you could burst from the sweet feeling of victory.

By the end of the song everyone is up on their feet dancing and singing with you, a mini party forming in the middle of the living room and you all scream the last lines as the song comes to its end.

“I think we don’t even need to vote this time,” you say when the music stops, everyone screaming in agreement while Harry stares down at you, trying to hide his growing smirk.

“Where did you even find this?” he asks chuckling as he takes a better look at the sweater.

“At a thrift store, it called out my name, knew it’d be perfect.”

“It really is ugly, if I’m being honest,” he sighs, his eyes meeting yours again. “And the song… I accept defeat, you earned this victory, Y/N,” he tells you bowing and admitting your victory.

Later that night everyone is so keen on watching Holiday, you agree to stay even though you feel your eyelids heavily weighing down, threatening to close with each passing moment. You let your head rest on Harry’s shoulder and he presses his cheek against the crown of your head.

It’s not a surprise you fall asleep halfway into the movie, but what you weren’t expecting is to wake up and find yourself not on the couch anymore, but in Harry’s bed. It’s dark, only the moon is shining through his windows and as you turn to the right you see that he is sleeping peacefully next to you on his back, one arm spread next to him, hand hanging from the edge, the other one resting on his stomach, rising and falling in a slow rhythm.

Squinting your eyes you look at the digital clock on his dresser, it reads 3:23 am so you’ve been asleep for quite a few hours now. You don’t even remember him bringing you up here, but you’re definitely not mad that he didn’t bring you home, just up to his room.

Rolling to your side you give yourself a moment to adorn his beauty without fearing he would catch your wandering eyes. Everything seems so perfect about him, the line of his nose, his cupid’s bow that delicately rolls into her lips. The crease between his eyebrows, his soft skin on his cheeks, down his neck that runs into his broad shoulders and inked, strong arms. You truly think there’s no man that could compare to him and you are lucky enough to live your life so close to him, be able to touch him, hear his voice whenever you miss him, see his smile and share a connection with him.

It’s so silly, but you think of him as your personal ray of sunshine in your life. Just the smallest things about him can brighten your worst day, he’ll always have a special place in your heart, no matter where life takes the two of you.

Watching him sleeping you allow yourself to break free from your doubts and fears and scooting closer you shyly curl up to his side, your head resting on his shoulder, but you can’t even make yourself comfortable before you feel him moving under you.

Sucking on your breath you think he’ll push you away, not wanting you so close, but instead, he pulls his arm from under you, curling around your frame as he pulls you tight to him, almost making you lie on top of him. Your whole body is pressed against him and you mingle a leg between his long ones under the soft sheets. You let out a long huff at the warm touch of his body against your skin, completely lost in him.

“You alright?” he mumbles in his sleep laced voice, his eyes remain closed.

“Yeah. Is this okay?” you nervously ask as you lay your hand flat on his stomach. He brings his hand that was hanging from the bed on his other side and covers yours, as he squeezes you tight to his side.

“’M all yours,” he breathes out, his words sending a shiver down your spine. You’re sure he didn’t mean it like that, but it warmed your heart to hear it from him and you let your mind play with the thought that there was more behind his words than a friendly manner.

Nuzzling your head into his chest you close your eyes and listening to his steady heartbeat you let yourself fall back asleep.

Your morning is filled with coffee, pancakes, laughter and great company. Harry doesn’t let you leave without having breakfast with them, so you sit with the Styles family and laugh about the craziest stories from your teenage years.

“Remember when we tried to run away?” Harry grins at you, his red mug that had white polka dots all over it in his hands as he eyes you.

“Oh, how could I forget that?” you huff and Gemma turns to you with surprise in her eyes.

“Wait, I didn’t know about that!”

“Because we didn’t get too far,” Harry laughs. “We were, what, like fifteen?”

“Yeah, it was a few weeks after my fifteenth birthday,” you nod smiling.

“I had a fight with mum about God knows what, then stormed over to Y/N’s and talked her into running away. So we packed our backpacks and left.”

“Where did you go?” Michal asks with an amused grin as he listens to the story.

“We didn’t want to go into town, running into anyone we know, so we thought we would just go straight out to the meadow that’s there,” Harry says gesturing towards the window. The edge of the town is not so war, and a huge meadow lies there, a little stream running across it. “We walked for quite long, but then it started to get dark and we had nowhere to go, so we just ended up coming back home. No one even noticed we were gone, they thought we just went out to bike or something,” he finishes laughing.

“You knew about this?” Gemma asks Anne.

“Yeah, he came clear the next day, thinking he would piss me off with it, but I didn’t care, he came back for dinner, so it was alright,” Anne explains laughing.

It’s been so long since it happened, but I still remember it vividly, only that it was a more dramatic memory back then, now I can only laugh at it.

“We should go for a walk today,” Harry prompts to you.

“Wanna run away again?” you tease him.

“Always,” he chuckles.

You help cleaning up and agree with Harry to meet outside in an hour to take a walk to the meadow. Going home you take a shower and wash the dishes your mum left in the sink when she left for her morning shift. You put on a pair of boyfriend jeans, a warm sweater and your jacket with your trusty boots and you walk out the house right when Harry steps out as well. He grins in your way as the two of you meet in the middle of the street. He holds his arm out for you.

“M’ lady?” he smirks as you link your arm with his and the two of you head out for your little walk. It’s a gloomy day, might rain later as well, but it’s dry so far, so you’re just hoping to get home before it starts raining. Your runaway attempt wasn’t the only time the two of you came out here, it was kind of your place when you felt like having a break from everyone else. You biked out here, brought your favorite snacks and just ran around, enjoying the stillness.

However it also holds a bitter memory as well.

A little further down among the trees happened Harry’s first kiss and you witnessed it, feeling your heart break to a million pieces when you saw him lock lips with someone who wasn’t you.

Debby Hamilton was a friend of yours in sixth grade, you’d say, your only friend beside Harry and the three of you often hung out together around that time. Debby was a delight, you always desired to be more like her, boys liked her and she knew it damn well, but it didn’t make her cocky and egoistic. You always thought Harry had a crush on her, why would have he? They kind of looked cute together.

It was a Friday afternoon and Harry asked if you wanted to come out and listen to his new cassette he got for his old Walkman he refused to get rid of as technology was evolving. You figured he’d want Debby there as well so you invited her along, but didn’t tell Harry. He never made a move on Debby and you thought he was just looking for the right time.

That afternoon, you were supposed to meet them out there at five, but you didn’t leave until half past five and it takes about twenty minutes to get out there. Though you gave them the alone time technically, it still startled you when you found them under one of the oak trees, Debby leaning her back against the tree as Harry stood in front of her. She was smiling up at him sweetly, saying something to him and you were just about to call out for them and apologize for being late when Harry ducked his head and kissed Debby right in front of your eyes.

That was your first and probably worst heartbreak and you were only twelve. You felt betrayed, hopeless and naïve to think Harry would ever have a thing for you when there were girls like Debby. You left without letting them know you were there. When Harry asked you later why you didn’t come you told him you felt sick to your stomach, which wasn’t a total lie, you had quite the nausea after seeing Harry with Debby, but he didn’t have to know all the details.

He later told you about kissing Debby and you pretended like you didn’t know about it. However they never dated and not long after their kiss Debby drifted away from the two of you. Not that you minded, you had a bitter feeling every time you had to look at her after that, jealousy raging in your chest knowing that she got Harry’s first kiss.

He didn’t bring it up after and you weren’t keen on talking about it, but you still know which tree they were standing under and now as you near the area you see that it still stands tall near the tiny stream.

Peeking up at Harry you see that his eyes are focused on the same tree, but then he catches you looking.

“Memories?” you innocently ask, feeling your chest tightening. You don’t even know why you asked. It’s been over a decade since that kiss, you are both adults, but you still can’t help the sadness that washes over you at just the thought, why would you want to get him talk about it now?

“’S just… that’s the tree I kissed Debby when I was twelve,” he mumbles with a shrug. Biting into your bottom lip you look at the old oak tree nodding your head and before you could stop yourself, you speak up.

“I know.”

“What? How would you? I never told you,” Harry asks stopping, a puzzled look pulling on his face.

“Well I… It doesn’t matter,” you sigh, regretting ever opening your mouth.

“It does. Tell me!” he pleads standing in front of you.

“I know it, because… I was here.”

“You what?”

“I came, I was just very late. And when I arrived you two were standing there and I saw you kiss. I thought I shouldn’t interrupt whatever was happening so I went home and let you two be,” you explain, changing it up a little bit.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why is it important that I saw it? It doesn’t change anything, right?” you ask with a smile that you intended to look innocent, but deep down it’s filled with pain.

Harry opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, but then remains silent and you are done talking about it, so you just quietly keep walking, Harry catching up with you a few moments later.

It’s awfully quiet after your revelation, it seems like Harry is deep in his thoughts and though you’re dying to know what’s occupying his bright thoughts, you’re kind of afraid you’d hear something you didn’t want to.

The two of you soon head back home and slowly, but you forget about the whole Debby thing. Harry starts talking again, but he looks a little keyed up still when you reach your street.

“Wanna come over later?” you ask standing on the pavement in front of your house, it’s just an innocent question. Harry nods his head.

“Sure. Is your mum working?” he asks glancing at the house, though he knows she is, the car is not on the driveway.

“Yeah. She’ll be home around six.”

He nods again and you want to ask if he is alright, but you decide not to. You share a quick hug before he heads over to his home and you do the same. The house waits for you in silence and when the door clicks behind you, it weighs down on you heavier than you were expecting. You hang your jacket, kick your boots off and throw yourself to the couch, covering your eyes with your arm as you huff out in frustration. You feel silly for getting upset about such a small thing even after so much time, but you just can’t help it.

You barely realize the sound of the front door opening, taking your arm off your eyes you see Harry walk in, eyebrows furrowed, a worried look on his handsome face.

“Harry—“ “I was waiting for you that day,” he simply says as you sit up with wide eyes, confused about what he is really talking about.

“What?”

“That day, we agreed to meet out there to listen to my new Stevie Wonder cassette, but you didn’t show up, Debby did even though I didn’t invite her out there.”

“Well, I did, thought you wanted her there too,” you explain, startled by the situation.

“I would have invited her if I wanted her to be there, but I wanted to be with you. Only you.”

“I-I’m sorry?” you breathe out, not seeing where he is going with it.

“Y/N, you don’t understand,” he huffs and he is right. You don’t. “I wanted to meet you, but you never came, or at least I thought. Then Debby showed up, I was frustrated that you weren’t there and she was being all nice, telling me how cute I looked when I was worried and it all just happened so fast and… I didn’t even want to kiss her.” He looks properly upset telling you the story and he takes a deep breath before his eyes meet yours with a hard stare. “I wanted to be with you,” he repeats.

“Harry, I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

He shakes his hair, not even letting you finish, because he knows what you wanted to say and that you still don’t understand the meaning behind his words.

“Y/N, I wanted to kiss you,” he then finally says and you suck on your breath as he continues. “Well, not right then and there, but I’ve been meaning to kiss you, I just didn’t know when. I thought that if we have a moment that afternoon I’d do it, but you never came and I was mad and disappointed. I hated myself for kissing Debby, because I didn’t really want to, it just… happened. I wanted to tell you, and I intended to do it when I told you we kissed, but you acted so happy, I figured you didn’t feel the same way about me as I did for you. So I didn’t tell you the rest, but…” He sighs in defeat, looking for words, but he ran out.

“Why are you telling this to me now?” you ask a little out of breath, your head feeling heavy at the new information you just heard.

“Why didn’t you tell me you saw us and why did you go home without a word?” he asks ignoring your question.

“I… don’t—“

“Don’t try to lie.”

Gulping hard you lick your dried lips as you stare back at him.

“Because I was… jealous.” Your voice comes out only as a whisper. Harry’s lips part as he takes two steps closer to you.

“You had feelings for me?” he asks and you just nod your head, not trusting yourself with your voice. “Do you still have feelings for me?”

“I do,” you whisper your answer and Harry lets out a sharp breath as he leaps across the room in your way. You jump to your feet, thinking that he’ll lash out on your for keeping it a secret and you open your mouth to explain yourself, but you never get to speak up because as Harry reaches you, one hand snaps to the back of your neck, the other one to your waist, yanking you against him as his lips crash to yours.

You gasp in surprise, but it doesn’t take long to kiss him back, your numb mind blindly reacting to his sudden action. Your hands snake up to the back of his neck as you pull him closer, returning his hungry kisses. His soft lips feel so smooth and warm against yours and when his tongue runs along your bottom lip you whimper letting your tongues meet in the middle.

He is intoxicating and it doesn’t help that your adrenaline level is up in the sky, you’ve fantasized about it way too many times, and now that it’s happening your body is burning in flames. He kisses you all over and over again, his body pressing against yours hard and when he even leans in making you lean back, you lose balance and the two of you fall to the couch, both of you gasping as you are forced to part your lips.

“Fuck,” you chuckle as Harry is basically lying on you, holding himself up on his arms, but you feel him everywhere.

“’M sorry, I got a little carried away, but I’ve been dying to do this since forever,” he admits chuckling as he lifts his head and looks down at you with those bright green eyes of his.

“Really?” you breathe out, only slowly processing what’s really just happened.

“Y/N, I’ve been in love with you since I first saw you hiding behind your mum.”

“Idiot, you were just a kid, you weren’t in love,” you chuckle, running up your hands to the back of his neck, your fingers playing with the soft curls. He smirks and nuzzles his nose against yours.

“Oh, I was, I just didn’t know it yet.” Leaning down he pecks your lips softly. “I’ve been meaning to tell you so many times, but I didn’t want it to ruin our friendship. Though I was growing impatient these last few years.”

“Yeah?” you chuckle.

“You can’t imagine,” he huffs shaking his head. I almost kissed you the other day in the kitchen, but Gemma completely ruined the moment.”

“I’m sorry I ran away, I was just—“ “No need to apologize. I guess it all played out well after all, right?” he smirks and you can’t help but chuckle.

“I guess,” you breathe out and the smile slowly fades from your lips. “And now what?” you ask quietly, staring up at him.

“Now… We’ll try to make things work. Test the waters. I’m very serious about this, Y/N,” he tells you. “I’ve been waiting for this my whole life so I’m not gonna let go of you now.”

“You have no idea how happy this is making me,” you choke out feeling the tears forming in your eyes.

“Oh Love, please don’t cry,” he begs and leaning down he kisses your tears away. “I’m right here, with you. Sorry it took me so long you get here, but I’m here now.”

“I know,” you huff blinking away the tears as you pull him down and press your lips to his. “I love you, Harry,” you whisper against his perfect lips. You feel him exhale sharply as he keeps kissing you before he lifts his head so your eyes meet again.

“I’ve always loved you.”

Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought about it!

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