#(but in the credits my name and platform are wrong lol) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

namor-shuri · 2 years ago

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I swear your commentary on posts is hilarious af 🤣☠️ These video and photo edits are so cool too. Is there a reason why you don’t post more to Twitter (not that you have to, just an observation)? Thanks for everything

Hey 👋🏾💜 Thank you for the kind words. Y’all need to stop gassing me up. My dad jokes/ corniness will know no end lol.

With my Twitter page, sometimes I question whether or not people think I’m stealing work from this Tumblr page bc both my pfp and handles are not the same 🥲 I made my twt before I made this side blog so the handle and pic was a quick “slap together” choice. The phrase “be f*cking for real” is too funny to me so I just ran with it. And then my brain was completely uncreative and was like “namor-shuri” will do rofl. Hopefully people understand by now that I’m the same person, but alas.

To answer your question, I think it’s broken up into two parts. One chunk of it is that I rant A LOT so this platform makes it easier for me to do so while also being creative with color fonts and all that jazz. I also just love the freedom of layouts and stuff like that. From a creative perspective, of course it doesn’t help that Tumblr messes with quality but what I lose in quality, I gain in possibilities [I swear I don’t work for Tumblr and this is not me promoting them rofl].

The other half of the pie is the stark difference of engagement on Twitter vs Tumblr, in my personal experience thus far. Like I said, I made my Twitter first back in late December of last year. It was kind of a random decision but once I realized I was super into the Namor x Shuri ship, I wanted to engage with the fandom more directly and pour into it. Since then, I’ve been able to have a lot of fun with making different artworks, edits, videos, playlists, you name it! Ya girl has been BUSY to say the least lol And what’s been dope is that this fandom has been a fun outlet outside of my professional artwork and stuff like that. All that being said, what slowly became apparent to me was that I wasn’t feeling as included or apart of the fandom as I initially hoped I would. I would try and engage with people or joke here and there and most of what I would get back was crickets, whether it would be on my own posts or my commentary on others. And to be fair, I know it takes time for people to get to know you and build community but it just felt slightly strange. Especially when I would see new pages pop up and everyone would immediately flock to engage with them. I say this to say that absolutely NO ONE owes you anything in life so to be upset that someone isn’t your friend [whether it’s in person or online] is a human experience but you have to understand that not everyone is going to jell with you. There are billions [billions? *does quick google search] of people on this planet. Someone is bound to hate you, while another will worship the floor you walk on. Someone’s going to think you’re okay, while you being your raw and authentic self makes another person’s day. It’s nothing personal. It’s simply a numbers game. So inherently I understood that but it still hurt the 3 year old in me that was just trying to make friends at the playground, you know? lmao But I think what set it off was when I would look up and then see my edits used for people’s banners, fan art, post ideas, etc without asking me or giving me any credit knowing that they also aren’t following me or even engaging with me in any way. It still wasn’t cool but I think what would have made the whole thing feel a little different is if I was more “in the group” but because I’ve been on the outskirts the majority of the time, it just made it sting that much more.

Then I started to get slightly paranoid and wondered if I was missing something. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something that was off? I felt like a message was being sent and that confused the hell out of me [and lowkey still does]. BUT SOB STORY ASIDE lol I brushed my shoulder off, switched gears and thought “f*ck it, let me make my own side blog and do my thing on there” and that worked for me! I got traction after that, people were responding to my stuff and throwing in their own ideas/commentary/analysis etc. I felt like I could engage with people more, even with the limitations Tumblr puts on side blogs. And just the whole vibe overall started to feel really f*cking good. The funny thing too is that I’ve noticed that a lot of Twitter is on here and vice versa so it’s the same folks but for some reason I think this platform has opened up more possibilities for engagement in my experience. Twitter lends to a wider audience than Tumblr unfortunately but I’ve accepted my humble abode on here.

This rant is getting super long so I’ll end with this; I have nothing against the Nashuri fam on Twitter. Just because I’m not necessarily apart of the “crew” doesn’t mean that I don’t find everyone hilarious or amazing in any way. If you think I’m funny anon, you need to read what these girls say because it is SUPERB *chefs kiss* The talent from artworks to fics to think pieces and everything in between is incredible and oozes from that community. But for me, I think I just haven’t found my footing or people over there and as much as it’s been a bummer, I’m still going to be on there to support the dope stuff that comes out of it. I also want to say that just because this has been my experience doesn’t mean it will be yours. I fully encourage you to branch out on different platforms and try and engage with as many people as possible [fandom or not]. I think I just got my finger burned once and immediately gave up rofl. One of the biggest blessings that have come out of the Nashuri fandom in general is it’s vast bipoc community. As a black woman myself, I haven’t experienced this level of inclusivity when it comes to race, gender, language, culture, ages etc in other fandoms. It’s beautiful and I will always be thankful for that.

I also want to drive home that everyone needs to find what works for them. You owe yourself that. If you feel like your aren’t getting what you desire out of Instagram, move to Twitter and see what happens. If Twitter isn’t cutting it, move to Discord. Move to Tumblr, you name it! I think that move for me made a HUGE difference and honestly made me feel better about being in this fandom in the first place. And also this just goes for life in general but just because you might not feel included somewhere doesn’t mean you or the place is a problem. You might just need some scenery change.

Ps: If you are in the fandom and are on Twitter, definitely hit me up and add me! I would love to be mutuals. I’ve seen some familiar accounts from Twitter add me on here and vice versa and it’s been really cool. I appreciate the blogs that engage with me on there and all that jazz. I’ve never had a Twitter before so I’m lowkey new to that world still but grandma’s getting the hang of it slowly but surely.

Thank you 💘

#nashuri #we just got a letter #I realized this is the first time I’ve actually put this feeling into words #I was really thinking about this question like wait why don’t I post on twt more lmao #nothing on the twt girlies #y’all are bad bitches #I’m just clearly not in the squad #and thats okay 🤷🏾‍♀️#you win some you lose some

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shujishakes · 1 year ago

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🖤Rules and BYF🖤

My biggest rule

❥ I mean it with my full chest. If you are a minor or don't have your age in your bio you will be blocked without hesitation. ♡As well as blank blogs. If you're a new user, please do the bare minimum of looking not like a bot. ♡This is not an empty threat, I will check and block. ♡I don't care if you're a minor that writes fics, you are not exempt from this rule.

❥ This is a sideblog attached to my main. I don't follow or like from this blog. I can not be mutuals with you from this blog. If we form a friendship I'd love to be moots from my main blog. Please, do not ask to be mutuals. Don't be afraid to start a conversation though. I love to talk about mutual interests.

❥ If you get off on spreading hate and discourse just go somewhere else, like outside into nature. I won't tolerate literally any of it, so don't bother. Anon ask feature stays off, cause if you want to start shit don't hide behind a gray icon, let me toss you the block. ♡This includes y'all with 'what about me' syndrome.

❥ This space is for fandom and writing. I chose to keep it free from politics and drama. Please, do not try and change that or bully me for that. This is my escape from my life.

❥ If you have an issue with self shipping or get jealous when others self ship with your f/os, please stay away from me and my followers. We're all just here to have fun with our f/os.

❥ If for some reason I come off rude or offensive to you, please let me know privately and respectfully so we can try to work it out. I don't mean to come off that way and I try very hard not to.

🖤Writing Info🖤

❥ First and foremost; My writing is self indulgent, meaning I write for myself. And post at my own pace.

❥ I write for the fandoms and characters that I want to write for, as well as the type of fics I write. I only write x reader. Currently write for Tokyo Revengers, MHA, JJK. Plan to write for Genshin and Honkai.

❥ I write from the perspective I'm most comfortable with, which is fem!reader, using she/her pronouns (when used), female anatomy, and feminine pet names. As well, reader might be described as short. (I have only lived my life as a tiny bitch, I don't know what it's like to not have to look up at someone that isn't a child, lol) ♡I am working on getting more comfortable with gn!reader, especially for fluff. I just don't want to mark something as gn and accidently upset someone because I describe something wrong. So, for now I'm sticking to fem!reader.

❥ Please read all content warnings on every fic before reading. This blog is (N)SFW and dark content friendly and may get graphic at times. I am not responsible for you consuming something you don't want to. I tag all my fics accordingly, it is your responsibility to read them and protect yourself. (If I somehow miss tagging something, please let me know politely and I'll fix it. If that does happen I apologize in advice for any upset caused.)

❥ I plan to never take requests. I did with my last blog and all it did was stress me out and make me feel pressured. This also means do not beg or ask for a part two. If I want to write one I will. The best way to get me to think about writing a second part is by giving love on a fic you like, but that doesn't make you entitled to a second part.

❥ This blog and on my AO3 are the only places I post my writing. If you find them anywhere else, please let me know so I can try to take care of it.

❥ I DO NOT and WILL NOT agree to have my writing translated or posted on other platforms by anyone, even with credit. I maintain sole copyright of all my works.

❥ The best way to show your love for a fic and author is by reblogging so

♡Please like this to show you've read and acknowledge everything in this post. Thank you♡

Dividers by @/cafekitsune

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judeharoldvich · 1 year ago

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Here's a text version so my ramblings are more accessible:

"I vividly remember when this song came out and I hated it... it turned me off being a Swiftie after I had adored Fearless and Speak Now. Now here I am again 10 years later the biggest Swiftie ever. Still not one of my favourites but reminds me of a simpler time.

The entire Red album to me is associated with youtube at the time, especially this video which was constantly referenced at school and seemed like the biggest deal in the world because OMG, Taylor Swift the country singer is going pop????? Little did we know 1989 was around the corner. It's funny because I remember being SO MAD that Taylor was doing pop music because to my tweenage self reading the comments on the video from jaded older people, pop was mainstream and mainstream = Uncool.

I thought I didn't like Taylor Swift anymore until Blank Space came out and I loved it so much I would listen to it every single day on a loop because I had only bought that song and not the whole album (it was only 1.99 and my account was connected to my father's credit card so I didn't want him to notice). But it seemed like everyone on youtube hated it because all the parody channels were making spoofs and calling Taylor insane. I thought they were all a bit thick and didn't understand that she was being ironic, but I also loved the Key of Awesome (i just got the joke with that name literally right now... wow lol) and THEY were making fun of her so... maybe I was wrong?

When reputation came out it had been a while since I'd listened to Taylor Swift, I was going through my own shit and though I hadn't heard about any of the stuff with Kim and Kanye + furthermore didn't give a shit (again, own stuff going on, why would I be invested in celebrity drama?) I vaguely knew she had just put out some new music and it was. Edgy. and Cringe. I watched the Look What You Made Me Do lyric video on here when that dropped and thought there was something catchy in it but ultimately felt so jaded and cynical about music in general by that point that I was angry at her for not making songs like the ones I used to love and dance around my room in. I also felt like the anger in this new song seemed so fake and performative and, myself going through a phase where I was angry at the world and myself, felt almost offended that she should appropriate an emotion I was feeling so acutely. But I wasn't completely on board the Taylor Swift Hate Train -- I figured she was harmless if a bit cringey so why did people care about her either way? To me it seemed obvious she wasn't serious about revenge or being this psychotic/borderline villain character so why did anyone give a shit/feel so enraged by her? The answer was in fact (spoilers): Misogyny.

The Me! music video was fun, though I didn't get all the easter eggs. I watched a reaction video to it on youtube where they broke down the easter eggs because I was curious since everyone was saying it was full of codes. I began to learn what the reputation era had been about, and while I still didn't really care for what I'd hear two years before I nonetheless enjoyed Me! and all its little nods. By that time I was also openly gay so when You Need to Calm Down released, I gave a little groan and eyeroll because it was obviously lip service to the movement but I ultimately concluded again that she was harmless, plus there had been plenty of cringey gay pride songs by straight people at that point and YNTCD felt almost like a song from 2016 youtube when all the influencers were coming out as gay. That made it feel almost nostalgic to me, along with the visuals that were EXTREMELY mid-2010s, so I sort of let it go especially since she had actual gay people in it.

Then the pandemic hit. I was doing a bit better emotionally than I had been but lockdown drove all of us a bit crazy. Youtube was now the 'millennial platform' and I was all about tiktok. My music taste by that point consisted of 1980s synthpop, indie rock and (to a lesser extent) hyperpop. So when Folklore and Evermore came out they completely flew under my radar. I was sort of peripherally aware of them but I was really not into all the cottagecore shit at that time and I mega-groaned at people calling them 'indie albums'. What I listened to was actual indie music, Taylor Swift had a massive record label behind her and all these people saying folklore and evermore were completely different genre-wise were obviously delusional (though of course as with rep and lover I hadn't actually listened to either album in full, in fact I hadn't heard a single song off either of them -- or so I thought. I only found out when listening to folklore for the first time that that 'I think I've seen this film before' song was by Taylor).

Cut to 2022 and Midnights is leaked in its entirety about a day or so before it released officially. I'm at university now and doing MUCH better emotionally, I've been seeing Taylor's Midnights Mayhem videos on my FYP and casually watching them to find out the song titles. She's a popular artist, so it's not unusual to be interested in information about her new releases, naturally. I know one of the songs is called Mastermind and so I open the google drive folder with the leaked songs and listen to that first. It's decent, I enjoy it, I listen to Lavender Haze. Hm. It's fun, but nothing special. I listen to the rest of the album and conclude that Taylor has completely lost her touch. The lyrics are clunky at best and cringe-inducing at worst, the production is pleasant but uninspired and overall it sounds like a demo album rather than a finished release. I wonder if this is the case. Then the album drops properly and I listen to it to see if there's any difference. There isn't. I complain to my flatmates about how Karma is a terrible song because it culturally appropriates Hindu and Buddhist beliefs and also the chorus is dumb. I play it for them on our alexa. I listen to it on my walk to campus every morning. I listen to the whole album in my kitchen while I cook dinner. I make my dad listen to it in the car home for Christmas holiday while I rag on the lyrics, singing along to every song in its entirety. The 3am edition releases and I listen to those tracks. I don't care for them at first. I listen to the deluxe version anyway because it lasts longer. This album is so bad but I cannot get enough of it.

I learn that the 'era' meme (in my healthy era, in my macaroni and cheese era, etc) that I've been using in my speech for years is largely attributed to Taylor Swift, so I go down a tiktok rabbithole that teaches me all about the drama that led to reputation and why she's rerecording her albums (I used to think it was just greed, but now that I've learnt from one of my old favourite youtubers ADoseofBuckley exactly why she's doing it, I am completely on her side). I learn about all her exes and the songs she wrote about them. I am still not a Swiftie. I love All Too Well (ten minute version) and I watch the short film here on youtube at last, having avoided it when it came out because I cannot stand Sadie Sink or that other guy. I listen to the songs on Red that I remember from 2012 -- I knew you were trouble, 22, and of course, We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. I am still not a Swiftie.

I give folklore a try, having never actually listened to any of it before. I can't get past the first song. Her lyricism in that album is so different to Fearless or Speak Now or that one song I liked from 1989. I find it pretentious. I listen to Lover after having not ever heard the full album and realise I love it. It's so camp and if I had only given it a chance at the time I know I would've eaten it up. For fun I rank her albums, putting folklore and evermore at the bottom and finding I am unable to choose a top five because I've only really listened to about three of her albums in full. I decide to give folklore another go. I love it. It's incredible. I cannot believe I never listened to it before. I try to listen to evermore. I can't get past the first song. I listen to reputation. That's an easy sell -- I hadn't ever heard these other songs before and now that I have I realise they're all bangers, and they're CAMP, just like Lover but in a different, equally enthralling way. I try evermore again. I love it.

Now I know every inch of her discography. I listen to her more than any other artist, in fact there was a period recently where I had ONLY listened to Taylor Swift songs for about three weeks straight. My top three albums are Lover, folklore and Midnights, but I'll go through phases of listening to one of her other albums on repeat -- I've been keeping Speak Now in heavy rotation ever since the TV album was announced. I still think some of the lyrics on Midnights are a bit cringe, but they do feel authentic now in a way I was not aware of when I first listened to it because I didn't understand Taylor's vision. I never liked Red, and I still don't really after having listened all the way through once. But it's growing on me."

+ the P.S

"P.S 222,218 comments at time of writing this. "If you are seeing 222 often, in any setting, it means that the time has come for you to be more self-reflective, and focused on the duality of situations." I've been seeing 222 everywhere and now here... definitely some sort of sign lol"

not me writing a 2,000 word creative personal essay in the comments of the we are never ever getting back together music video

+ this

#taylor swift #swiftomania 2023

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ssickabit · 2 years ago

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there’s someone else in the room / yji

word count : 2714

trigger warning for heavy mentions of cheating // cw mentions of bodyweight, chubby and tattoed reader, unprotected sex (please don’t do it lol), oral (m receiving), overall smut with a little plot and a cliffhanger

All that Jeongin knows is that Chan's girlfriend has a nice back tattoo. By that he also knows she probably has other tattoos, of course. In the darkness of his room, his thoughts are only filled with her. They only met twice before because both Chan and his girlfriend are producers but nobody knows the name credited on their album is a woman. She is pretty private—not really. An instagram with that five thousand followers maybe can’t be said as a private one but she knows how to make her own platform.

The thing is, he slowly felt the same way.

Or he doesn’t really know well about that but he is sure their conversation intensifies in one month and they have been out without Chan knowing. It’s pretty slick—Jeongin got things outside his idol life and she has life beside her job as a producer, right?

Jeongin wonder if he is the one who has been talking to her like this lately. Sure, maybe this is just him.

“Where are you going with that?” Jisung's eyes looking up and down once Jeongin is out from his room. He dressed nicely. It’s super unusual for both of them but this isn’t Jeongin if he can’t answer Jisung’s question easily.

“One of my friends invited me to her party,” he answered, “I wanted to stay at home but I got Yedam with me.”

Of course, the name mentioned will be there with him. “Alright,” Jisung answered, “don’t be too late. You might as well be locked outside.”

“I got my keys.”

Stepping outside, Jeongin reached for his phone then called the number on the top of his recent calls. That familiar number with the name the band is familiar with—Chan’s girlfriend. “Hi,” Jeongin greeted once the call picked up.

“Hey, so… should I pick you up?” he heard her over the place, “but can you go to the convenient store? I am afraid I got recognised or something.”

He completely understands in that part, both of them should be out in privacy but in this case they’re saving their own selves. So he goes just as she ordered, wondering how long it will take to wait for her alone in his place.

“Welcome, welcome,” she said as she opened her door, welcoming the guy behind her. She showed him where to sit then said, “do you want anything before we have our dinner?”

He sat politely, just like a little kid and smiled from his place. “Nothing. Thank you.”

She nodded and he watched her take off her leather jacket. Jeongin’s breathing almost stopped as his gaze locked to the view, slowly but surely as the jacket was off he could see the tattoo on her sleeve. This is the first time Jeongin has seen her with a tank-top. Maybe that’s more convenient for her to wear less clothes underneath her jacket. She caught him staring, so she asked. “Anything wrong?”

“No… it’s just,” he gulped. “You’re so cool.”

“Thanks,” she giggled. The sound tickling Jeongin’s ear. He wanted to hear that again.

“Noona.”

“Hm?”

“Is it okay if I say this?”

“Yeah, of course. What is it?”

“This is my first time seeing you with that…” he told her, “But you look so good by the way.”

She knew what he meant—she is always out with a hoodie or just simply a shirt that is much bigger than usual. She smiled sheepishly in response. “Thank you. It’s nice to hear it, you know, since I am considered bigger than anyone else. By the way, dinner’s ready!”

Jeongin knows she is older than him and she is so cool. She’s surprising. Her place is neat, so it does add some plus points to this “why (y/n) noona is cool” list made by Yang Jeongin. This is why Chan hyung likes her. Jeongin wanted to help her clean the table but she refused. It was a nice cook.

Jeongin didn’t know how this started but having her standing between his legs as he sat on her couch is making him nervous. She looked into his eyes directly as she stroked his hair. “You got stars in your eyes Jeongin,” she said, making him giggle. “And your hair is so soft.”

She kissed the top of his nose making him scrunch it in response.

“Why don’t you sit on my lap, noona?”

It caught her by surprise of course. She blinked several times then said, “I’m heavy, Jeongin.”

“No I promise you it will be alright,” he replied, “just do it.”

Just as she sat on the top of him, his heartbeat began to quicken. Relax, Jeongin, he would say to himself, you’re gonna annoy her. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, you?”

“I am all okay, I just want to make you comfortable,” he answered.

A heart creeped through her cheeks as she caressed his cheeks. Seems like the younger underneath her is so easy to please—look at how he melts easily into her touch. “You’re so cute, I wanna kiss you bad Jeongin,” she whispered.

“Then what are you waiting for?”

She leaned closer and Jeongin can feel her breathing on his face. Their lips finally met. But it was just a light peck. It shocked Jeongin more than he can imagine, but it was cute. He pouted after.

“Why?” She asked with a giggle.

“I thought you were gonna kiss me.”

“I kissed you!” She laughed, “wasn’t it a kiss?”

Jeongin furrowed her eyebrows then leaned closer. He cupped her face then kissed her again. Something is bursting inside her chest as her lips move along with his lips. Jeongin’s lips tasted like the first wine she opened after a long day. She can feel his hand roaming around her back then stopping around her waist. Jeongin pulls out to catch his breath just to say, “that’s a kiss.”

It began to get heated as they could feel each other’s taste on each other’s tongue, and it caught her by surprise the way Jeongin would bite her bottom lip. Mouth felt so warm around his and he whimpered. She grinded on him slowly, making him choked on his own words. “Noona-“

She shushed him down, hand trailing down his torso as she opened his button one by one. Her lips never leave his skin, kissing him carefully. He jolted to the feeling of her teeth grazing his neck—he breathed nervously. “This, off,” she whispered.

Jeongin made her let out an inaudible gasp as he took off his shirt. He does have this body sculpted by gods. She dragged her fingers on his torso just to see him closing his eyes with a little whimper in response.

“Please.”

“Please what?“

“Just do anything you want noona,” Jeongin answered.

She shifted from her place to make her way to his clothed cock. Jeongin gulped, watching her move so cautiously so she could feel what it felt like in her hand. He is hard. He is aching for her, it’s true. When she was about to pull down the zipper, she asked. “Are you really okay with everything I am going to do to you?”

“I can say stop every time I want to?”

“Of course, Jeongin.”

“Sure, keep going, noona.”

He was hard. She looked up for the second time, only to see the best view above her as she kneeled. At the first time she saw Jeongin she was super convinced he is a sex symbol but looked so fuckable also. His eyes that can tear someone in one look and those beautiful fingers. God, she imagined how good it was inside her walls as she saw him run his fingers through his hair. Now she is just one touch away from having his cock inside her mouth as the younger practically squirms underneath her touch.

A soft kiss was planted on his tip—it was so ready for her. Jeongin chest raising and falling as she licked a stripe on his cock. The swirl of her tongue made him go crazy but she was a little bit mean. “Noona… please don’t tease,” he whispered.

Jeongin swore he hated that smirk on her face; he had seen it twice in his entire life, once when she listened to the track she made in the studio (it was hot of course) and once when she was about to take him whole into her mouth. She granted his wish, making him gasp in his place. She didn’t waste her time to make him weak under her mercy even more. When she looked up, she saw him throwing his head back on the couch, lips parted as his breathing raged.

His voice was getting louder as she bobbed her head until his tip crushed the back of her throat; releasing the wet cock from her mouth only to stroke it with her hand after.

“N-noona,” Jeongin whined as she made a circle gesture with her thumb on his tip. A huff left his mouth while she didn’t stop to pleasure him. “S-stop, please-“

She looked up to him then asked, “anything happened? Did I hurt you?”

“No,” he pouted, “it’s just I don’t wanna cum yet.”

She smirked. “Well.”

“Kiss me.”

She nodded. He helped her get up then kissed her hard. Not too long after that, she is already straddling his lap, mouth tasting each other as she grinds herself on his thighs. “Wanna please you,” Jeongin said as his hand rubbed over her panties, “wanna please you, can I, noona?”

She nodded and said, “I need your cock in me, Jeongin.”

“But noona, I don’t have any condom on me-“

“I’m on pills, I am clean,” she sounded so out of breath.

“So we don’t-we don’t use-“

“Yes, how about that?”

Jeongin cursed under his breath because this is maybe exactly the very first time he does it raw but he already got her consent to do this. “Jeongin, are you okay?”

Looking at the worry on his face, she cupped his face so he can look her in her eyes. “Tell me, sweetheart.”

“This is my first time…”

“Oh, really-“

“No I mean—going raw,” his voice faded in the end, making her giggle. She leaned to give him a light peck which made him smile. She told him even if this is his first time it’s very okay; he can tell anything and he can stop her anytime he wants.

So she positioned herself as she stroked him again, only to receive his heavy breathing. Slowly but surely she makes his tip in contact with her folds, then sliding inside it in one quick movement. “J-jeongin,” her breathing is shaking as she feels him filling her very well. Jeongin puts his hands on her back, roaming over it because he doesn’t know how to respond to this pleasure.

“You can move noona,” he whispered to her ear.

“Wanna feel you a little bit more,” she answered, voice so needy, “Jeongin—fuck, you’re so big.”

He kissed her shoulder to sooth her away, letting his ego fall because he doesn’t wanna rush things out. Jeongin can feel how her walls are taking him in and he wonders if she can feel him throbbing for her. She asked if she could keep going and Jeongin nodded quickly.

“Fuck,” he muttered at the very first second. Fuck she feels so good, he thought to himself, fuck fuck fuck. His mind is somewhere else as she is bouncing on the top of him, slowly taking off her bra just to expose her tits. He immediately cupped those with his hands then rolled his fingers on her nipples. She bites her lower lip and closes her eyes. He can feel her walls clutching on his cock as she keeps going with her pace.

Jeongin grabbed her hips just after he sucked on her nipples. “Don’t I fit perfectly in you noona?” His voice breathless, “am I doing good?”

“You’re doing good Jeongin,” her voice is an octave higher and it boosts up his ego again.

“Do you know that you feel so good around me? You’re so warm, so tight.”

“Ah, Jeongin-“

“Noona you’re so dirty,” he spanked her ass and he could hear her hiss in response. “You feel like heaven, noona.”

But this doesn’t really mean she can’t hear how cute he sounded underneath her, in fact, his hoarse moans are turning her on even more. The more she bounced herself on his dick, the more of their sound vanished and replaced by the lewd and wet sound coming from the penetration. He holds her close as he hides himself on the crook of her neck. “N-noona I feel so good, keep going,” he moans, his hItting the spots inside of her. “Taking me so well, so perfect…”

Jeongin felt like his heart dropped when she stopped her movements, so he asked, “Are you okay? Did I hurt you.”

She shook her head no. “Can we-can we switch positions? I am tired.“

Jeongin laughed and it sounded a little too cute for her. “Anything for you. Would you like to lay on your back for me?”

She did just like what he ordered her to do. He lets her get comfortable first then picks up her legs as he positioned himself. Jeongin didn’t stop there, he kissed the inside of her thighs and sent chills to her body. “You’re so pretty,” Jeongin muttered, “ready?”

She nodded.

It was easy to put it back inside. He let go of her legs so he can set the slow pace first. Their gaze meets as he thrust his hips into her—this awakens something inside of him so he goes faster. Their moans collide into the room as he lifts her legs up again and rests it on his shoulders. He did that, she thought, he fucking did that.

He isn't afraid to let out some words that make her go crazy. “Yeah? You like that noona?” as he holds her legs up.

“You’re so deep-“

“I thought so,” the confidence inside of him is kicking in again. A cocky grin was drawn all over his face. From this angle not only he can see her chest rising and falling but also the visible tattoo on her collarbone—snake. “Doesn’t that hurt noona?”

“Huh?” She looks up to him even though he is still thrusting into her.

“You tattoo,” he panted, “collarbones.”

It’s a hard question to answer when his tip can reach the spots. “Y-yeah. Little bit—fuck-“

“Ngh, noona-“

He decided to let go of her legs, instead, he told her to wrap it on his waist as he continued his movement. By this position they can share a kiss and eat each other’s moans. He rested his face on the crook of her and breathed her scent in. His whimpers and desperate moans are filling her ear perfectly.

“Jeongin?”

“Hng?“

“I’m close honey, do you feel it too?”

So this is why his pace is getting sloppy and everything just feel so food for him. “Yes noona-where should I cum?”

“Inside please, Jeongin,” she begged, “want you to fill me up.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah Jeongin, fuck, so close-“

Her hand is going to his hair and he gripped onto it a little too much so it’s stinging. He doesn’t really mind because everything is just too intense as he reaches his peak. The repetition of her name falls from his mouth and he spilled his seed inside of her. A lewd moan of “noona” was the last thing he said before he can hear her high-pitched moan as she reached her peak too.

Jeongin rested his head there for some of the moment before his phone rang. He takes a glance over it as the monitor shows “Channie Hyung” name on it.

#stray kids smut #skz smut #skz hard hours #stray kids hard hours #jeongin smut #yang jeongin smut

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wtheckzukasubs · 2 years ago

Text

Sharing and gatekeeping in the fandom

This will be long and there’s a big chance it won’t reach those who I wish read it, but here it goes...

Though most should be aware, there have been an abusive use of subtitles in this fandom. Along with that, the fandom have been “outed” in platforms like Tiktok, where it gives over-exposition to our illegal subtitles and streamings.

Yes, making subtitles to a commercial show is illegal. Of course, streaming them is also illegal. However, we’re in a fandom that is hard to access (no subtitles in the releases, the need of specific VPNs or the high costs of using a proxy, shipping and paying for import tax—in my country the latter can be more expensive than the total I’ve paid for the product, when the product isn’t lost in the way). And we’re a fandom, we love our product, we want people to know it, and people won’t if they don’t understand it much less if they can’t have contact with them. That’s why we take these risks.

Why not just share with a friend, who we can trust not to leak us and get us sued/arrested? More than many, as someone who takes meds for anxiety and depression, I know it’s hard to become friends with people, say hello to me and I’ll take days to say hello back because I’ll be freaking about how much I should tell this stranger who wants to talk to me (and why would anyone? Did I do something wrong??). So, if it weren’t for these amazing people sharing there stuff with me, my knowledge of Takarazuka could have ended when I came back from Japan and could no longer have uninterested access to it. I wouldn’t pay my month’s salary on a video of a show I don’t even know I’ll like just to practice my Japanese, as it all started for me. That is why I know the importance of sharing beyond my real friends (there’s also that my non-zuka friends never became zuka friends lol).

However, and this becomes a cycle hard to break from, Takarazuka is a super small fandom. There may be people who will casually watch it, but those who are willing to put their time and/or money into supporting it as well as being involved in group activities only because they like the same thing, that is still a small number. We can have communities on Livejournal or servers on Discord with over 500 people, but how many are active? Even including all those who just forgot to leave the servers when they gave up on the fandom, 500 is still a small number for people all over the world supporting a company as large as Takarazuka.

My point is, we’re so so so small, anything we share is easily traced back. I have never said my name here, and you still know who I am, for example. It’s different from the anime comms who work in large teams, their subs are done in so many steps the translator would probably not recognize their own work. I’m one person. I know my word choices, I know where I tend to do things wrong.

This is not about getting credit or thanks (will never be about getting money). This is about being traceable to people who’d want to do me harm. I’m going first person, but I’m still lucky not to live in Japan (in this aspect only lol) and be the first to get the blow. Some of us, however, either live there or have ties there, which makes them sitting ducks for a lawsuit or at least a very traumatizing cease-and-desist order.

I’m keeping my subs available here. For now, I have weighed the risks for me, and I think it’s still worth it.

But if you are not sharing your stuff, things processed on your computer that could have your fingerprint on it (and probably do), you may not understand the we’re not keeping any gates but protecting our integrity. This doesn’t deny that gatekeeping exists in this fandom. It does in all fandoms. So do foreigners unaware they’re proliferating xenophobia against us foreigners enjoying Japanese media. It’s good to always ask ourselves why the hell we’re reinforcing this or that rule. Some had a reason at a point and lost importance along the way. Some were never meant to exist. Some are so selfish compared to the number of benefits nor following it would generate...

Notwithstanding that, don’t call it gatekeeping so lightly when it does endanger the individual, someone we can name and so could their lawyers.

I feel I had some more to say but I’ve forgotten. And it’s already too long.

Follow the rules of anyone sharing content with you. They’re probably the ones who personally went through the headache of making it happen, and each share to even a friend is increased liability. People sharing around are publicly exposing the very members of the fandom who make it possible to make it grow so we can have more people. The more we get, the more anonymous we become, the harder it is to point fingers. That’s how it’s becoming easier to access. But we’re still not there. We must continue to test limits to increase territory but doing it without risking others.

Lastly, thank you everyone who have alerted me, I’m not in the Tiktok generation and I never search for Takarazuka on Youtube, so I’d never know about it. And thank you all for keeping to the rules of this site.

(If anyone had the energy to read these ramblings and still want to leave their opinions, feel free.)

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lipstickbisous · 3 years ago

Note

how about a hc where nomad!steve puts avenger!reader in their place? make it extra EXTRA kinky pls 😩😩 and congratulations once again my love!! ✨

my captain ⟶ steve rogers

join my 3k celebration!

pairing: nomad!steve rogers x reader

summary: see what happens when you don’t listen, little girl?

warnings: smut; oral (m receiving), pussy slapping, dub-con (not really but just in case), captain kink, choking, hair pulling, spitting, reader cries (from the sex lol), degrading (heavy) 18+ MINORS DNI

a/n: i tried extra EXTRA kinky as possible oh god 😩 NOMAD!STEVE IS BAE i don't wanna say i made him dark, i just made him mean :/

the following work is my own writing. do not plagairise or copy and paste my works onto another platform. message me about credit.

masterlist

⊱ ────── {⋅. ☽ .⋅} ────── ⊰

you slammed your door shut and stomped into your room, doing your best to rip off your gear but you were so angry you could barely even focus. you heard him following you, and he ripped the door open. steve was absolutely fuming.

"you're a complete idiot, you know that?" he pointed his index finger in your face, towering over you. "what you did could've killed all of us."

"we weren't supposed to get caught," you spewed back with just as much rage. you were still struggling to take off your gear, especially after the fall you'd taken. "and i don't see you yelling at nat when it was her idea!"

he laughed and leaned on the right side of his hip. "i highly doubt that. nat's not a little brat like you are," his words got more intimate but you did your best to ignore the need between your legs. "look at you, you can't even take your gear off. what a baby."

"shut up!" you screamed back, and in a split second, steve's hand gripped your forearm tightly. the pressure hurt but you didn't give in. "let me go, rogers."

"i think you've got the wrong name in your mouth, sweetheart," he pulled you to him and released his hold on your arm, only to pull your head back by your hair so you'd look at him. "fucking pathetic, am i gonna have to do this for you?" he yelled before ripping off your suit.

you would've been completely naked if it weren't for your undergarments, but he was quick to discard those too. when you were bare in front of him, he wrapped his hand around your neck like a was a tiny twig. "what's my fuckin' name?" he sneered in your ear.

when you didn't respond, his hand cupped and pushed against your naked pussy. his fingers were calloused and rough. you moaned, "fuck!" a slap to your cheek.

"don't be so dumb, sweetheart," the endearment was sweet but he was spewing venom at you and you drank it up. "what's my name?"

the lack of oxygen made your face a bright red and his hand was still grinding against your pussy. you were now rolling your hips against him, "c-captain."

suddenly, steve's smile was prideful. "there's my girl," he stopped his movements against your core and you whined from it. another slap was popped at your cheek. "doesn't excuse that bullshit you just threw. what am i supposed to do with you?"

you looked up at him with pleading, puppy-dog eyes that made his insides melt - he'd never let you know that. "more, please, captain?" you asked, trying to roll your hips again but he pulled his hand away.

"i don't think so," he spat on your face and rubbed it into the skin. his hand met the curve of your ass with a burning sting, but you knew you weren't allowed to scream. he sighed to himself and watched as the skin on your ass turned a deep red. "what's it gonna take," he spoke to himself. "for you to fuckin' behave."

his hand slid through your folds again, turning slick and shiny. "captain, please-" a slap against your pussy was enough to shut you up. but he noticed the way you held back a moan.

"oh, honey," he spat, rubbing it into your hole and tracing it with a teasing touch. "does having your captain slap your pussy make you wet?" he didn't need to hear you respond, he was feeling it himself. "who knew you were such a slut?"

steve laughed when a tear slipped down your cheek, "captain, please, more!" falling from your lips. "oh yeah," he smirked. "i did."

#i never know how to make a summary for a smut #astro! <333 #3k sleepover! ｡.｡:+ ʚɞ #steve rogers smut #I COULDVE DONE SO MYCH BETTER #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers x reader #daddy!steve rogers #daddy!steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x little!reader #chris evans smut #chris evans x little!reader #daddy!chris evans #chris evans imagine #chris evans one shot #steve rogers headcanon #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers one shot

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shinesurge · 3 years ago

Text

I’ve been holding off on making this post because I wanted to try it out myself and get settled in and make sure everything went okay, but seeing as I’ve gone ahead and updated my site and everything I thought now might be a good time to start talking about this publicly!

If you’ve known me for more than five minutes you know I fucking hate Webtoon, like, a lot. Every aspect of it disgusts me to the core of my being, and while Webtoon is the ugliest version of them the aspects that I hate also extend to basically any comic aggregate site. I hate that they treat artists like content robots, I hate that they treat comic readers like morons who aren’t capable of engaging with complex stories, I hate that they actively try to strip away all the cool parts of indie comics by cultivating sterile and impersonal environments that discourage artistic experimentation and unique expression.

So! I hope you’ll be interested in what I have to say about this new platform that’s (hopefully) going to be out of alpha this summer. If you think you like reading comics on Webtoon, I really encourage you to check out Dillyhub once it launches. That’s the short version, but I have a LOT to say about this! So I’m putting the rest of this under a cut.

Full disclosure, I’m not getting paid or anything for this. The creative outreach at Dillyhub contacted me a few weeks ago asking if I’d be interested in having Kidd Commander be one of their launch titles when they go live this summer. I was hesitant at first, since I actively distrust anything claiming to be For Creators at this point, but they answered my pushy questions patiently and everything seemed on the up and up so I gave it a shot; I’ve been needing a mobile mirror for KC anyway. Eventually they invited me to the alpha creator discord, where they’ve been working directly with all of us artists to improve the platform, and now to be honest I’m REALLY excited for this thing to get off the ground. Nobody asked me to make this post, but since I’ve spent years whining and bitching about how other services do wrong by their creators, I thought I’d talk about this one that’s doing things right.

So, the biggest advantage this site has for creators over others in my opinion is that it. Treats us like individuals, regardless of follower count lmfao. If you’re a new person just starting out with your new webcomic, here’s what webtoon does for you:

Note: you don’t get a custom banner, you don’t even get to choose the solid color it is. That big circle icon is ALSO the image that shows up in searches, but everywhere else on the site it’s a 100x100px square, so you have to choose whether you want it to look good as a giant circle at the top of your comic’s page OR whether you want to look good in search results. Which, by the way, is the ONLY way for people to find you if you’re not partnered. And that’s it! You have no monetization options, you won’t show up on the genre pages, and when someone DOES stumble across your page it looks super unprofessional. Good Luck!

Now here’s my Dillyhub page(s):

You don’t get a static banner and one icon, you get a whole carousel banner with as many images as you want front and center as soon as you get to the project page. You get seven (custom!) genre tags, as opposed to Webtoon’s single tag you have to pick from their list, and plenty of room to talk about your work. The episodes are even laid out better, you get a MUCH bigger preview space to work with and they’re nice and big on the bottom half of the page:

you know, like they’re actually presenting ART lmfao.

That’s already an ENORMOUS improvement, but here’s my favorite thing.

o hm that’s a lot of super cushy settings I have for every individual episode, but what’s that, Episode Type?

LIKE.

listen, i know this is probably a bit specialized if you’re not a comic maker yourself, but this is a HUGE DEAL. You can post vertically OR page by page! You can even post pages two at a time for double page spreads, or so they read like a physical comic book! AND their specs are really open, as long as the file meets the size requirement you can make it whatever shape you want. You don’t have to reformat all your shit to post here!! I posted the entire first volume of KC STRAIGHT FROM THE PRINT FILES in like half an hour!!! The episodes can also be any amount of pages, you can post a single page or an entire chapter all in one go!

So that’s just the project page for the comic, let’s see what happens when I click on my username there.

Each author gets their own unique page (which you can tack a vanity url to!) to present themselves however they want! You always have the banner at the top, but beyond that you have a ton of options. Among other incredibly useful tools that really should just be bare fucking minimum at this point, like the ability to preview your page on different devices, you start customizing your blank page with this set of widgets,

and from THERE you can customize them MORE, you can promote your patreon or your kickstarter or whatever! Having this creator space ALSO means that if you run several comics, or if you want to promote your comic AND your illustrations, you can just separate them into individual projects! Each with their own page! This is also really nice as a reader because you can subscribe to a creator but you can also just subscribe to specific projects, if you don’t want to get ALL of their stuff in your inbox. It’s so good y’all hh.

Once again, all of this functionality is just THERE as soon as you make your account. You don’t need to be “partnered” or whatever the fuck, you don’t need to meet a certain follower threshold to unlock the ability to operate normally. You get your own creator space to present yourself how you prefer, you get pages for all your projects, you can even set up monetization options (and change them for individual pages IN a project) right from the start.

ok ok let’s compare this to my webtoon page

oh that’s right webtoon just puts your greyed out name at the bottom of each comic and that’s it because human beings don’t make this stuff, my bad lol anyway

Other fun shit that Dillyhub does that makes me feel like they’re people who have actually consumed or made comics on the internet at some point in their lives:

-When you log into the “studio” space, you’re in your creator account. When you log OUT of the studio space, it’s like you swap to a “reader” account, where you can access your pull list and comment on things with a different name and profile icon. Again, maybe only cool if you’re a creator, but if you ARE then you know exactly why this is incredibly useful lmao

-You can set up “hidden” projects, so if you only want certain things to be accessible by certain people or to not show up in searches that’s an option! You have SO much control here it’s great.

-The comment section has moderation options GODDD. You also have a real comment space, you know, so it actually encourages building a community (and a rapport with your community, if you like), and you also can just turn comments off entirely if you want! I haven’t used it much yet, obviously, but it’s been made very clear in the discord that artists want better control over their comment sections and the devs have it on their priority list.

-Absolutely every step of customization gives you a preview before it’s live, so you can easily see what these images you’re posting in different places are going to look like before you beam them to your followers’ inboxes. This includes individual episodes!

-This was sort of in one of the screenshots but it’s important so I’m saying it here too: the option to mark individual episodes as mature or with content warnings, rather than having to mark an entire comic as Mature Spooky Scary Content because of one or two pages getting a bit hairy.

This site is only in alpha right now, and it’s invite-only until they get to beta (for creators; anyone can make a reader account! but they haven’t set up a way to browse comics without direct links yet so) but honest to god it’s already blowing every other site I’ve used clean out of the water. And the staff has been really kind and responsive to us proposing fixes or changes! I will always defend individual websites as being the best option for an indie comic, but everybody’s gotta start somewhere and we NEED something that isn’t Tumblr or Webtoon to fill this role; this site feels a lot more like a symbiotic relationship than any of the other staples available for new creators right now. If you’re a comic reader and you want to see your favorite comics on Dillyhub I’d suggest keeping an eye on this site and once it’s live start poking them to look into it, and if you’re a creator follow their social media and hop in when they open up for anybody to join. I would LOVE to see this site take off as a viable option for hosting and reading comics.

Thanks for reading all this! I haven’t quite finished setting up yet, but if you want to poke around a project/creator page for yourself mine is here have at it. As things progress I’m sure I’ll have more to say, but since I’m usually so aggressively negative about places like this I just wanted to give some credit where it was due. fucking finally.

#long post #i want this site to obliterate webtoon so fucking bad lmfao

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severetimetravelnerd · 4 years ago

Text

I Don’t Know (ft. G Dragon and MINO) (8)

Part 8

Jiyong finds out what happened with Jae and Yuna tries to talk to Mino.

This series will be updated once a week, every Friday! No specific time though lol. It’s an AU where Jiyong has a younger sister and you’re her best friend! Featuring my OC Mirae as the Best friend. Just saying, it’s not related to any of the scenarios I’ve written so far. Please do leave me some comments or asks! I love receiving them! It’s also a bit of a love triangle situation, so yeah :)) There will be eventual smut in this series.

(I don’t own any of the images used. All credit goes to the original owners.)

I only write on this blog on tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know immediately.

Also, just clarifying. The Jae here is not Park Jaehyung from Day6. It’s just the name.

Happy New Year Folks!! :)) Here’s to hoping 2021 is a better year for everyone :) I sincerely hope everyone had a great day and have great years of happiness and health ahead :)

Taglist:

@kwonnansi

@unabashedturkeytreeslime

@happiestgirlontheeastcoast

@yee-hawwwwwwww

@slayergroupie0128

@herewecomeitsjekki

@happygirl327

@to-all-the-stories-i-love

Please comment if you’d like to be added to the tag list:))

Word Count: 3753

WARNINGS: cheating, slight violence(punches to the face), sexist remarks, smut (overstimulation and safe word usage).

——————————————-

You started coughing violently before walking out of the room, excusing yourself. You walked straight past Minho, not even realising that there was someone standing there, but that was okay, because Minho didn’t realise you walked past him either. Yuna had turned around to see if you were okay and she saw Minho. Minho was so lost in staring at her, overcome by a rush of anger and sadness, he didn’t notice Jae excuse himself to check on you. Jiyong did though.

You ran to the bathroom and got there just in time before another violent coughing fit hit you. Why Jae of all people? He was the one person who working with was worse than working with Jiyong. And on top of that, Yuna came with him. Jae had been cheating on you. You didn’t tell anyone that was the reason for your break up though. When people asked, you just said you drifted apart, but it was actually because you caught him with another girl. He was drunk and they were making out, going to their bedroom when you walked in.

5 years ago

“Jae?”

He turned and smirked at you, pulling you into a kiss seconds after making out with that other woman.

“Y/N, babe. Wanna join?”

You started to feel sick. Nauseous.

“Anyway, you’re cheating on me with Jiyong.”

His eyes furrowed.

“Why do you look so sad? Oh. Okay, fine. You can invite Jiyong to join us too.”

Voice strained, you asked,

“How long Jae? How long have you been cheating on me?”

“Ever since I figured out that you were cheating on me with that bastard. I think it was at Sohyun’s wedding?”

You nearly fell right there. He had been cheating on you for three months? Because he thought you were cheating on him with Jiyong? Jae jolted you out of it by grabbing your phone.

“Let me call him to join us. I have a bunch of questions for him anyway.”

“What?! Jae, no!”

“Hello? Jiyong?”

“…What the fuck Jae? Why’re you calling me from Y/N’s phone? Is she okay??”

“Yeah, she’s fine. I actually wanted to ask-”

You grabbed your phone back, choking on a sob.

“No, Jiyong, it’s fine. Don’t worry. He’s just drunk.”

“Y/N, are you sure? You don’t sound okay.”

You couldn’t hold back the sob any longer.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Everything’s fine. It’s perfect.”

And you cut the call. You turned to look at Jae and the very uncomfortable looking girl.

“Jae, we’re done. Don’t ever contact me again.”

You walked out to go to your car and cry. Jae never apologised. Nor did he follow you to your car. He just didn’t care. You don’t remember much of what you thought that night. But you did remember thinking that even if you could go back in time and change that one night at the wedding with Jiyong, you wouldn’t.

---

All those memories came rushing back, and you started feeling nauseous again. That’s when you felt very familiar hands brush back hair from your face. His touch made you feel even worse.

“What’s wrong Y/N?”

“Jae, get away from me.”

“But my poor Y/N looks a little unwell.”

“Get the fuck away from me.”

Jae laughed and took a few steps back.

“I was not expecting to see you here Y/N. Good to know I was right though.”

“Right about what?”

“About you and Jiyong, of course. Not going to lie, I felt slightly guilty about that night after seeing your reaction when you saw me with her, but now, I feel like I’m more than justified.”

You were about to say something, but Jiyong’s voice interrupted you.

“What night?”

You panicked when you saw a very angry Jiyong standing in the doorway. Furious, he repeated,

“What night Jae?”

Jae looked between the two of you and laughed.

“Oh, you never told him? Come on Y/N, you should have. At least you would have felt better after he beat me up.”

“Why would I beat you up?”

Jiyong’s eyes slowly travelled to you. You knew he was trying to ask you whether you didn’t tell him something, but didn’t want to voice it, scared he would cross a line.

“Well, after Y/N here found me in bed with another woman, I asked her to join us. I also told her to invite you. After all, if I could invite someone, she could also invite the person she was cheating on me with. That’s why I called you that night.”

Jiyong looked murderous. You knew he would want to kill Jae. Right there. But he kept looking at you, hurt more than anything else that you didn’t tell him.

“Your girlfriend caught you cheating. And you invited her to join?”

Jae shrugged.

“I mean, I wasn’t the only one. She had been cheating on me with you for ages.”

Jiyong was about to lose it. You could see that. But you weren’t bothered. Because you were also about to lose it.

“Jae, get the fuck out.”

“Why Y/N? Does seeing me here bother you?”

“Yeah it does Jae. Because I haven’t beaten up someone since middle school and you’re about to make me change that. So, before I do, get out of here you piece of shit.”

“Ha. That’s rich coming from someone who pretty much just slept their way up.”

There was an eerie silence after that. Jae was looking away and smirking. You stared at him, shocked at his audacity. Jiyong stared at you, willing you to let him kill Jae. You turned to Jiyong. He was begging you to let him punch Jae. At the very moment you nodded to Jiyong, too tired to do it yourself, Jae opened his mouth,

“What? Nothing to say to that? I guess it’s true.”

Jae didn’t know what hit him when Jiyong’s fist met his face. He stumbled to the side when Jiyong grabbed his collar and punched him again. And again. And again. Until he felt your hand on his shoulder. Although he was still mad, he dropped Jae’s collar and looked at you, wondering what to do. Jae lay there coughing up blood and wiping his bloody lips. You glared at him.

“Leave him be Jiyong. He’s a model. You can’t mess up his face more than this.”

And you grabbed Jiyong’s hand and walked out.

Jiyong looked pissed, but also confused.

“Where are we going?”

Without turning back to look at him, you muttered,

“Look at your hand. You caught it in Jae’s nose piercing. It’s a mess.”

And sure enough, when he looked down, his hand was a bloody mess. You pulled him into the infirmary and whipped out your phone. Your tone was calm when Somin picked up the call.

“Hey. Jiyong tripped over something, so we’re in the infirmary. We’ll get back to the meeting in a while.”

You turned to him and your voice was pretty disconnected when you spoke.

“Sit.”

You grabbed a first aid kit and started disinfecting his hand. He hissed when the disinfectant touched the wound. You didn’t say anything, but you become a lot gentler.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Jae?”

“I don’t know. This was when I liked you. I didn’t want you pitying me, or being mean to me because you felt like he had a point.”

His voice softened.

“I wouldn’t have done that.”

“Really? Can you really say that? Because you were very mean to me otherwise.”

“I’m sorry. I owe you an apology. A lot of apologies actually.”

“What are you apologising for?”

“For being mean to you. For hurting your feelings. For saying what I did when you confessed. For leaving you alone that night. For taking you for granted. For constantly snapping at you. For pushing you away to the point where you felt like you couldn’t tell me about your toxic ex because I would make it worse. For snapping at you when you called me Ji simply because I was scared it would give me hope for something that I didn’t think would happen because I li-”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

You looked up, meeting his pleading eyes.

“Jiyong, I’m in a happy, healthy relationship. I’m happy with Minho. Please just be happy for me. I haven’t completely forgiven you for everything, because Jiyong, I’ll be honest. You scarred me. For years, I thought something was my fault. I thought I wasn’t enough and that’s why you hated me. And you never cared. I’m treating you normally now because we have to work together for a while. That’s it.”

He looked so painfully resigned that you couldn’t help your heart from hurting.

“Yeah, I know. That’s enough for me. But please don’t cut me out of your life. You’re someone very important to me.”

You backed away after bandaging his hands, leaving Jiyong feeling rather empty from the loss of contact.

“I don’t know Jiyong. We’ll see.”

---

While Jiyong was pouring his heart out to you, Yuna excused herself saying she was going to follow you, but she shut the door behind her and went up to Minho. Eyes regretful, she grabbed his sleeve,

“Hey.”

“Hey? Really? That’s what you have to say to me.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Minho.”

“Don’t. Don’t call me that.”

“Don’t you want an explanation for why I did what I did?”

Minho stopped breathing for a second. That was the one thing he desperately craved. He needed to know why he wasn’t enough. She knew.

“Minho, it wasn’t because of you. You were amazing. It’s just. I met Jiyong years ago, at a fan sign, and he helped me out. He probably doesn’t remember it, but I fell for him.”

His voice broke.

“So, you dated me to get to Jiyong hyung?”

“Minho, but please. I love you. Please. Please can we try this again?”

“You love me?” He laughed. “What bullshit. If you did, you never would have done what you did.”

“Minho please. I’m so sorry. I’ve never regretted anything more.”

He pulled away from her.

“I have a girlfriend. Leave me alone.”

And he walked off. What was odd however, was that she didn’t seem too upset about that as she kept an eye out for Jiyong to return. Minho managed to walk away, but the moment he closed the door behind him, all he could think about was what she said. And how you had liked Jiyong. And known him for years. And how she dated him to get to Jiyong. Fucking hell. Why Jiyong of all people?

---

You somehow managed to get though the day, the only good part of which was seeing Jae stammer as he lied about tripping somewhere. The moment you walked out of the office though, you called up the one person you needed to see.

“Hey Mirae. Wanna get some coffee together?”

“For you to offer me coffee, you must be really out of it. What’s up?”

You smiled. You needed to just relax with your best friend for a while.

“Nothing much. Just... it was a long day.”

“Sure. I’m home right now, so you can come over if you want.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in ten. Keep some sweat pants out for me.”

You lay back relaxing on her couch, blissfully wiggling your arms in the oversized sweatshirt and comfy pants she gave you.

“I’m stealing these.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

You sat up and sipped on the lemon tea she made you and you could almost feel the tension leave your body.

“Okay, spill.”

You took a deep breath and turned to face her.

“You remember Jae, right?”

Her expression turned wary.

“Yes, I do. Asshole.”

“Yeah, he’s playing Jiyong in the MV. And Minho’s ex Yuna is playing… the girl.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, I know.”

You recounted the day’s events for her, leaving out the bit about him turning up at your apartment drunk and you buying him breakfast the next morning. Mirae always hated Jae, so you knew she’d be mad when she found out, but she just remained silent. Then you told her about what Jiyong said, or rather almost said and how you cut him off.

“He never really cared about me anyway.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

You stared at her, dumbfounded.

“I definitely wouldn’t say that.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“He’s gotten you home when you were drunk on more than one occasion. He’s taken care of you when you couldn’t walk straight. He took it upon himself to cheer up the woman he loved after her boyfriend was an asshole to her at Sohyun’s wedding. He’s comforted you whenever he felt you needed it. Granted, he didn’t know his behaviour caused it most of the time. I have never seen him as worried as he was the day you fainted and he carried you home. He keeps your confession in his wallet. Women don’t stay with him because he can’t stop thinking about you. You’re the only one who can comfort him and cheer him up when he’s feeling low. You managed to get him to cut down on his smoking. He sleeps well only around you. Y/N, you matter to him. A lot.”

“What… Love? Mirae, I thought you didn’t like the thought of us together.”

“I didn’t. Because he didn’t realise he liked you and you never called him out on shit when he was mean to you. It was bad for both of you. Worse for you though. But now, he’s changed. You’ve changed. And now, I think it’ll be better. I don’t know whether I’ll like it, but it’ll be better now. You’re happy with Minho though, so I’m not saying to break up with him. I just want you to know that… things are different now. He still has a lot to make up for. Years of him being toxic aren’t just going to disappear. But even though he told me not to tell you, I feel like you have a right to know about the things he’s done for you over the years. I may be harsh on him, but he’s my brother. And you’re my best friend. And in the end, I just want both of you to be happy. You don’t have to be happy together. Just…be happy.”

You stared at her in shock. She sighed.

“I know. I know you never knew about any of this. And maybe I should have told you earlier. But you were just beginning to get over him when you cut him out of your life and that was what you needed then. Now, things are weird. You’re working with him but you’re in a happy relationship with Minho. He likes you but he’s not trying to make a move on you, although his album is literally about you.”

“I liked him for all these years and he never said anything?”

“He liked you before you liked him. And he didn’t say anything because he was an idiot. And he was scared. And that made him an ass. Don’t get me wrong. He was a Grade A jackass, but I think you should know this.”

You couldn’t comprehend all of this. You felt overwhelmed by this crushing pain. All those years that you liked him, he liked you back? Instead of all those years of questioning yourself, the two of you could have just been together? You felt some anger, but more than anger, you just felt sad. In a barely audible whisper, you said,

“Mirae, tell me everything.”

She looked up, clearly concerned, but she told you everything. About how he started liking you ten years ago, how he convinced himself he didn’t, how he took care of you that night when you were drunk, how he went back to search for you at the park. And with every word, your heart hurt a little more. You liked Minho. It wasn’t even a possibility that you would break up with him after gaining this information, but it really twisted a knife through your heart when you thought of all those years. You stood silently after Mirae was done, gathering your things to leave. She jumped up, worried.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. I just really need a little time and space to wrap my head around this.”

“You okay?”

You turned and gave her a sad smile.

“Not exactly, but I’ll get there. I just need to think about this.”

You got home, showered and napped. You needed time to rest and recover. It had been a very long day. You just wanted Minho to come home soon, so that you could cuddle with him and maybe have a tough conversation about everything you found out today. Oh shit. You’d also have to tell him about Yuna. And you didn’t want that. It did seem like he would be home late though.

Minho was in his studio, trying not to think too much about everything that happened when he heard a soft knock on the door. He opened it and nearly slammed it shut when he saw Yuna standing there. He would have too, if she hadn’t stuck her foot in there to prevent him from doing that.

“Can we talk Minho?”

“What do you want Yuna?”

“Yuna? Sweetheart, whatever happened to baby girl?”

He stared at her in disbelief. She walked past him and made herself comfortable on the couch.

“Minho, I need to apologise for everything that happened a few years ago. It was horrible. And if I could, I would turn back time to prevent that from happening.”

“Yeah, but you can’t, so what’s the point of all of this?”

“Minho, please. You’re the only man I’ve ever been happy with. And you know that we were happy together. Please. Let’s give this one last shot?”

Minho remained silent and Yuna took that as an invitation to move closer to him. She gently put her hand on his thigh and starting tracing patterns.

“Minho, baby, please. I’m sorry.”

Minho’s mind was clouded. He was so mad that Jiyong hyung was so involved with his girlfriend. He was mad because of their history. He was mad because of his history. He was hurt by everything. At the back of his mind, a small voice told him that he knew that his chemistry with Yuna was unbelievable and he had never had better sex, but still. The thought of you, smiling as you hugged him after a long day couldn’t let him give in. He was tempted. So tempted to not stop Yuna’s hand that was trailing upwards but then he remembered the one time he saw you cry because of a movie. It was just a sad movie, but he had promised himself that he would never be the cause of those tears. He grabbed Yuna’s hand and turned to her to tell her to back off when he kissed him. He was too shocked to do anything about it, so she deepened it. The moment Minho realised what was going on, he pushed her off him.

“What the fuck Yuna?! I told you I have a girlfriend.”

She just looked away, not answering him.

“Get out. Get out of my studio right now and never come back.”

---

Minho got home a while later, exhausted, stressed, nervous, guilty and jealous. Not a great mix of emotions. His jealousy only amplified when he saw you working on a concept for Jiyong. Not fucking Jiyong again. You were so deep in thought you didn’t hear him, so when he hugged you, you jumped.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“What’s wrong Minho? Long day?”

Minho stared at you for a minute, hating how the only thing he could think of was the way Jiyong stood before you protectively. He didn’t reply, instead leaning in to pull you into a deep kiss, his hands travelling down your legs and wrapping them around his waist.

“Yes, it was. Will you help me forget about it?”

“Okay.”

Not long after that, you were lying face down on the bed, with tears streaming down your face as Minho’s fingers pumped into you. He was giving you your fifth orgasm. It was too much. Way too much. It has crossed from pleasure to just plain painful. Something was wrong with him that day. He was usually very responsive to your non-verbal cues. He seemed preoccupied and angry. You barely managed to croak out,

“Minho?”

The speed of his fingers increased.

“That’s master to you.”

You couldn’t take it anymore. You cried out.

“Minho, stop! Popcorn!”

It took a minute for it to register that you had just used your safe word with him. Once it did though, everything stopped. He immediately stopped, moving away from you. You fell to your side, tears still streaming down your face. You were shaking and you couldn’t keep your eyes open. It hurt so much.

“Oh fuck.”

He tried to wrap a blanket around you but you flinched at his touch. His face fell, but he moved away. God, it hurt so much that you flinched, but it was his fault. He should have checked in on you more. You slowly covered yourself with the blanket and waited till you stopped shivering.

“Y/N, I am so sorry. Fuck. I’m really sorry. I should have checked in on you more.”

You shook your head.

“It’s okay. You didn’t mean to. And it’s over now. We just have to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

He was unsure when he leaned closer, moving some hair back from your face.

“I’m sorry.”

You just gave him a slight smile and held his hand.

“I accept your apology.”

“I’ll get you some hot chocolate?”

“Yes please.”

And Minho left for the kitchen. While your body still hurt and you were exhausted, you weren’t mad at him. You just wanted to know what was troubling him. You were snapped out of your thoughts when a notification popped up on your phone.

It was from Mirae.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I thought he was better than that. Remember, you can always just come and stay with me for a while.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. What was Mirae talking about? Who was she talking about? Did Jiyong do something? You opened your browser to try and figure things out when you realised your boyfriend’s name was trending. And your heart stopped when you saw why.

“BREAKING NEWS: WINNER’s MINO and Model Yuna dating!”

---

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bigskydreaming · 3 years ago

Note

Continuing on that observation because I forgot to add this part, as a gen z I'm glad you understand that we or young people don't invent new ways to be evil, but it's not completely true. You aren't seeing new forms of online abuse in every platform, I doubt second hand information is going into details as well. Also the fact that you are a white man, there are things being said and done to poc in various online communities that I don't expect you to be privy to. Harassing fans of color and poc media has become a lot more common and normalized which parts of the fandom at large will never see. I don't know if anon did all of the thinking before saying "gen z bad" but they're not completely wrong looking at the kind of mass bullying behavior literal kids are exhibiting. They are learning from or being encouraged by older people but that shouldn't take the focus away from them to blame only the older people.

And my ask regarding Barbara, you assumed I hadn't thought about if my disdain for the character could have come from ableism. I had tho, granted you couldn't have known that and it was surely a possibility, so I'm not saying I'm mad about it, I was at that time a little bit. But you could perhaps give your anons a little more credit sometimes. Sometimes people know what they're talking about, you don't need to explain other possibilities to them each time.

Once again, sorry if this came off as very rude I just needed to share that observation and among many other instances these two were really highlights and kept bothering me. My issue with Barbara goes in a different direction than anything to do with her appearance and I've personally faced online abuse from people younger than me in ways that technologically, even politically, wasn't possible or as easy a few years ago, so you can maybe see why...

Please keep in mind that whatever context you have for yourself or your ask when you come into my inbox on anon......I have none of that. You have an awareness of yourself relative to whatever you asked me. I literally only know an anon by the words they put into my inbox and nothing else.

Also please keep in mind that every anon I answer, I do so in the larger context of my own interactions with tumblr overall. I have a lot of precedent with things I say being taken out of context, misrepresented or even just me not conveying myself as well as I like.

So the combination of those two things is that a) I literally just don't KNOW what any anon does or doesn't know and b) If I'm going to answer an anon, I tend to want to answer as fully and clearly as possible.

I can understand it coming across as being talked down to, so I'll work on that, but I would ask people to remember the above and keep that in context too when weighing my responses.....am I actually being condescending in every case, or does it simply feel that way because I'm including stuff you already know in my response? And if its the latter, is THAT something I COULD know about you without knowing who you are or you as a person and not just a paragraph sent in anonymously?

I'd rather be safe than sorry, and so from my POV since there's no harm in somebody seeing someone cover information they already know as PART of their overall answer or response, like, there's no reason for me not to include whatever I think is relevant and just expect readers to decide for themselves what about my response, if anything, is helpful, and like....just ignore the rest, y'know?

Also, just for the record, I am ADHD and I save my medication for when I'm working or writing or have stuff I absolutely need to get done, which doesn't include my usual blogging. So I'm usually posting while not on my ADHD meds at all, hence the rambling tendencies and the length. Another aspect of ADHD that doesn't get talked about much ime is we tend to over-explain, part out of just excitement/interest in whatever it is that has our attention, and also in part because we're used to people not necessarily following the leaps our minds take when jumping around rather than proceeding in an orderly thought pattern.....so, part of why I break things down so incrementally is I literally just don't know where my way of looking at things diverges from the way neurotypical thinking views things, so I want to draw as detailed a map as possible in order to ensure the most people possible can follow my thought process, just in case.

(And again see, this is something you might already know, and hell, you could have ADHD yourself, I just literally have no way of knowing that so rather than just mention it and be like "oh and also I have ADHD and so that's something to keep in mind" I'd rather explain WHY I feel that's particularly relevant to your question, since I'm kinda like, why not answer as fully as I have the spoons for? People can stop reading at any time if I go on too long. Its fine).

As for the specific asks you're referencing - my response to the gen z anon was not meant to convey that the sort of things you're describing don't occur among gen z, so sorry for giving that impression. Its actually the opposite of my point, which was simply that I don't think its a generational thing, or that anything is gained by treating it as a generational thing. This kind of behavior exists in gen z, yes, but it also existed before gen z. Its not gen z SPECIFIC, or limited to just that generation. That's all.

And the other ask, the one you made about Barbara - to be honest, I don't have anyway of knowing for sure which one you meant, and there are a couple it could have been, but if its the one I THINK you're referencing, I believe you asked how to stop people from assuming you dislike Barbara for reasons rooted in ableism when its because of other things? If that's the one, then I mean, the thing is....I DID answer your question, in as much as anyone could. I addressed the perceptions other people might have of your stance there, but basically - there IS no way to ever ensure people take you at your word or any kind of guarantee you can present your POV in a way that won't be misrepresented or misunderstood. So ultimately, I just had no real useful advice for that?

And so I expanded into the only thing I think anyone CAN control, aka their own thoughts and words, and suggested that you just double check to be sure of your own possible biases that others might read into your words without you being aware you were putting them in there. That wasn't meant as an insult or to suggest you hadn't already examined yourself for possible ableism - it was simply saying it never hurts to check again, y'know? We don't always catch everything every time we do a self-review, and internal biases are inherently tricky to pick up on ourselves. And it just loops back into the fact that I really had no way to know what you had and hadn't already considered, you're essentially a blank cipher to me....and in my experience, a lot of people are a lot more ableist than they realize.

And this isn't an insult either! It applies to me and I'M physically disabled! I'm constantly to this day unpacking new realizations about how I still have more ableist views and opinions than even I realize, even after about five years of living with chronic pain, vertigo, nerve issues and associated problems stemming from only half a working mouth lol. I'm not trying to insult people by asking them to just do what I do every day and just like....make sure I'm not the problem when other people have a problem with me. Because sometimes, even after reflecting as fully and genuinely as I can, I think they're still wrong! I don't have to agree with their conclusions! But that doesn't mean that they're never right.

And for the record, I do think its still worth examining on your end, because I don't love that you said your issues with Barbara have nothing to do with her appearance, when we're talking about ableism specifically. It very well could be just a poor word choice on your part and not a reflection of your actual views, but it could also be a suggestion that you tend to think of physical disability as something that's limited to there being a visual sign of, and there's a lot of invisible symptoms and changes to the ways a disabled person interacts with society and society with them that don't alter a disabled person's appearance in anyway...and many of these things are the exact stuff a lot of unacknowledged ableism revolves around.

So I'd like to give you and other anons more credit and the benefit of the doubt and assume you know what you're talking about and don't need things broken down as much as I tend to break them down to - but keep in mind I don't OWE you that, and its a lot to ask someone to take you on faith when you've already made the conscious choice to present yourself to them anonymously, and deliberately limit how much a person even CAN know about you before answering, when you have an equal opportunity to present yourself by name, allowing someone the full context afforded by your blog, that they can use to familiarize themselves with you and what you likely do or don't know before answering. I don't think its entirely reasonable to anonymize YOURSELF and then expect people to still give you the benefit of the doubt.

Especially when not giving you the benefit of the doubt only really results in me over-explaining something you don't think you need explained in certain ways or in as much depth. Its not hurting anyone, and you're not going to be the only one reading this response and maybe that over-explanation ISN'T something other people know and it could still be of use to someone else, y'know?

But lastly, please keep in mind that you came to me, and I just answered in the way that made the most sense to me. If that didn't work for you or wasn't what you're looking for, that's fine, but like. You knew way more about me going into this interaction than I could possibly know about you, and assuming good faith of you and your interest in my response and giving you as much of a response as I did in the first place, let alone now, IS giving you the benefit of the doubt in the sense that I'm assuming you can find some way in which these responses are of use to you.

And if not, like....just don't send me more asks? LOL. I kinda feel like you just didn't expect the answer you got, and that's sitting weirdly with you. Which I get, to be honest, but I don't particularly think that's a me problem, because that has nothing to do with anything I can control.

I can only give the answer that occurs to me when I read and think about an ask. I can't guarantee it'll ever be the answer the asker actually WANTS.

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vroenis · 5 years ago

Text

When The Best You Can Do Is Shoot A Gun

The Animal Crossing / Doom Eternal Covid19 launch coincidentally seems to be related to this discussion, even tho I’d say Doom Eternal has an excellent combat system and isn’t really relevant to what I’m going to bring up. I don’t have a problem with shooty-shooty, I have purchased, played and will continue to purchase and play plenty of video games that engage with firearm violence. There are plenty of discussions about how intelligent, consenting adults can do this without any problems and I won’t retread them here. Doom is simple game themed vaguely around demons; demons bad, player protagonist good, good player shoot bad demons - OK you got it, apply an incredible movement system into that and enjoy.

What I want to discuss involves of-course that pesky word and idea nuance, which annoys the shit out of more people these days, for its applications and misapplications - fingers-crossed I don’t fuck it up, but first I want to bring up Ubisoft and systems, so now’s as good a place as any for a stolen picture from the internet.

As far as concept art goes, that’s actually very representative of the final product in-game.

Ubisoft appear to have a long-term open-world tech development objective. I believe at some point very soon, these individual objectives will converge into one single middleware product with a mandate to producce retail licenses that combine what each of these individual franchises have been testing and achieving in isolation, those being;

Ghost Recon Wildlands and Breakpoint: 3rd person Load-On-Demand

The Division: 3rd Person Cover and interactivity

Assassin’s Creed: Environmental mapping and interactivity

Starlink: Scaling Load-On-Demand

Far Cry: First Person implementation of various combinations of above

I’ll put it another way;

Ghost Recon: Load everything

The Division: stick to everything

Assassin’s Creed: climb everything

Starlink: scale everything

Far Cry: do it in first person perspective

It looks like all of these games are running in Ubisoft in-house proprietary engines. Ghost Recon and Assassin’s Creed are running in Anvil, developed for the very first Assassin’s game and in which the Prince of Persia 2008 and Forgotten Sands also ran in. Oddly, (Rainbow Six) Seige, Steep (lol) and For Honor are also running in Anvil.

Both Division games and Starlink are running in Snowdrop and this appears to be due to The Division having come from Massive Entertainment. I’ll be honest, from the perspective of a consumer (read: punter) and someone with extremely minimal 3rd-hand development experience, The Division looks far more impressive than both the Ghost Recon and Assasin’s games, and former Massive brand and art director Rodrigo Cortes has said of the engine that it was design to “do things better not bigger” and I think it shows. Anyway, it was still developed with Ubisoft so as I understand it, they own it. Massive is a Ubisoft subsidiary, their studio based in Sweden.

Far Cry is going to be a little different, being a little older and having its roots slightly before... what shall we call this mess... the cynical age? The microtransaciton age? Anyway. The first game used the CryEngine developed by Crytek. At some point, Ubisoft seemed to develop an offshoot of the engine called Dunia because the CryEngine was licensed and clearly lucrative, I think. I’m not entirely sure, but Dunia does appear to remain in-house and under the auspices of Ubisoft Montreal. Where am I going with all this?

Starlink was “toys to life” a-la Skylanders but way too late, combined with No Man’s Sky-lite, but the game itself other than being overstuffed with Ubisoft copy-and-paste template-quests is an excellent proof of concept.

I do need to say that in general, I don’t have any particular affinity for Ubisoft. So I am yes, absolutely fascinated with something I do think is happening as far as tech goes and now I’m writing about it in this piece, and yes you can tell I’ve played and even enjoyed some of the games they’ve produced and published, but there’s a lot not to like about many of their practices, the least of which is the overbearing sense of cynicism pervasive in many of their games.

I played Far Cry 3 long after it released and got perhaps 20% thru the campaign before giving up entirely. For starters, nothing about how it controlled felt right and I appreciate that’s purely a personal preference. Being a Battlefield player, there’s something about DICE’s sense of locomotion that is perfect to me, even tho it varies from title to title from Bad Company 2 all the way to V most recently. Other things about Far Cry bother me tho - if there’s wildlife around, it always attacks the player, guaranteed. Everything about this game seems to be designed to force the player into engagement, to provide you with materials to collect, craft or sell, but also to run you short of ammunition to either scrounge for more or have to buy it because *surprise* - it prompts you to purchase ammunition for real-world money. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Fuck off. I uninstalled the game immediately. I can deal with ridiculous AI with magical aim and irrational scripting. I can deal with absurd narrative for the sake of reading (and roasting later), but the entire package culminating in purchasing more ammunition was otherworldly, it was truly bizarre. To this day, I don’t understand what world Ubisoft inhabits that this is something that makes sense to anyone in management or marketing, and yet there it is and there are consumers that not only accept it but embrace it. No doubt there are metrics from the mobile industry that support it and dear lord the capitalist apocalypse is upon us.

What will Ubisoft do when they can merge these technologies? They definitely want to and likely already have in-house, they just need the engine to run client-side for the Consumer. You and I and Inside Gaming are all laughing it up at Stadia right now, but we’re at the wrong end of the business. For Ubisoft, they can ignore the faltering at the start, it’s the long-term they focus on. The pittance Google are losing now, even if they end-up shuttering the project will be meaningless if they end-up getting the hardware to work, even if the end-result is the hardware sitting in a box in the consumer’s home in 10 years. Sure, that’s a long loop, but the journey still doesn’t matter, only the eventual ROI.

If this piece hasn’t gotten boring for you yet, it’s about to because you’re probably excited for what Ubisoft will do with this impending technological power and development and I rally am not. What will Ubisoft do with it? Probably just more Assassin’s Creed, except you’ll be able to snap to cover and have a fully mapped country. Probably more The Division, but you’ll have a fully mapped city that you can also climb on the outside of buildings and then enter them without any loading. Probably more Far Cry but with bigger maps and more interactivity and less loading. The next generation of consumer hardware consoles from Microsoft and Sony are upon us and as much as PC enthusiasts hate to admit it, the consumer market is largely gated by the generational hardware stepping of these platforms. That may change after this era depending on how Google, Amazon and indeed Microsoft and Sony go with cloud computing, but for the moment the status-quo will remain as alternative products develop. Bear in mind with Covid19, climate change and the general sustainability and ethical standards of working and living being under growing scrutiny the world over, things are changing more each day, our technology development may change in ways we don’t expect so who even knows what’s in store for the future.

So What Do I Actually Want?

Good question. NB: before you ask, Animal Crossing isn’t my thing. I played it years ago on Gamecube. It’s cute, it’s fine. I’ve no interest in it. I’m writing this note in retrospect because I realise you may say “Just play Animal Crossing or The Sims but hopefully I can illustrate by neither of those games is what I’m after, nor do I just want to build a house in something like No Man’s Sky and fill it with crap. Let’s see if I get there... A few weeks ago I wrote about how the best thing Naughty Dog did with Uncharted 4 was Elena and Nathan’s domestic spaces. I did purchase The Division 2 on the cheap a couple of weeks ago and I’ll be honest, there’s a lot about it that I’m enjoying quite a bit. For a start, visually it’s stunning. The art team have done an excellent job of both filling the world with immense detail, but also making every area of Washington unique and distinct which is a huge feat given the total space covered. Thus far, I’ve spent a whole lot of time just walking around and gathering resources, in part just to sightsee and explore without any particular objective in mind. After a while, I got the impression that the map was a bit flat, but the more you explore, the more you find places where you get verticality, and then doing missions always adds verticality and variety in environmental and art design, it’s a marvel to see.

Apologies to James and Thomas (above) for ripping these images, but I’m glad your names are in frame so you have direct credit - outstanding work. The art in this game is without question its strongest element.

And that’s just the thing - The Division is an interesting game in that what I enjoy most is the sense of walking around exploring, gather resources and helping people. I’m not here on an anti-violence kick - I play Battlefield, I actually don’t mind the shooting in The Division, it’s fine, whatever, I’m not going to justify that. What I’m saying is that it gets boring.

THERE ARE A LOT OF GAMES ABOUT SHOOTING.

Like... a lot. More than enough. There will always be a lot of games about shooting and that’s fine. I think I’ll always play them. Hey, I even play games about shooting *in very specific ways* - it’s not like I don’t care about the shooting, I’m playing The Division with only a bullpup DMR and shotgun combo, plus I’m trying to use my sidearm when traversing the streets as much as possible so don’t at me, I’m in the game.

But we seem to mostly get high detail assets in games with guns because shooty games get all the money. I get it - shooty games get all the sales because we as gamers like to play them - sure, I’m one of them, but I didn’t buy The Division until it was under AUD$30 because gotdam the shooting is so boring and even now yes, it really do be just more boring shooting, just like it’s boring in Uncharted, just like it’s boring in Ghost Recon (my goooooood so boring), just like it is in Destiny, and the umpteenth shooty mcshooty game. I’m getting too old for this.

Uncharted 4 had an opportunity to do something more and it almost did. For many players, it probably achieved enough of what I was after by those two visits to the Fisher and North residences but I wanted so much more of that. I want to see Sully’s house or houses, more of his life. I want to know where Chloe’s life is at. I want to know of their lives and emotional engagements outside of the frankly stupid narrative I have no interest in because it’s clearly stupid and an excuse for running and jumping that other games have since done better. If Uncharted as a whole was a subtext for character, then by the fourth game, the focus should have been the characters that carried the series thru to the end - no disrespect to Tom Baker - not the heretofore unrevealed older brother.

For Years I Didn’t Know “Walking Simulator” Was A Pejorative

I think this is why I replayed and continue to replay Dear Ester so much. I remember laughing my ass off at YouTubers making videos about how it wasn’t a game and that it didn’t have objectives. Yet there were still threads and might still be on reddit or Discord wherever gamers congregate these days - about “virtual tourism” and “just chillin’ in place x because it’s so awesome” etc. It’s fine, each generation will rediscover virtual tourism again and again and we can’t denigrate anyone for doing so, it’s certainly nothing we invented given it comes from literature and oral tradition before that, but it’s remarkable that there’s this resistance to experiences crafted purely for the purposes of being immersed in them.

I adore Dear Ester and Everybody’s Gone To The Rapture. Absolutely loved What Remains Of Edith Finch and only if you have already played Edith Finch, because it’s full of spoilers but also its own spoiler warnings, I heartily recommend Joseph Anderson’s outstanding video The Villain of Edith Finch. It’s a 53 minute watch so I won’t embed it, and he has a certain style of presentation that won’t gel with everyone, nor do I always agree with everything he says which should go without saying but at some point folks, you have to stop pursuing art, criticism and media that just wholly aligns with your own views. That said, I generally do find most of what he says agreeable, innit. Anyway he’s great and the video is great.

While Dear Esther is more surreal and Rapture and Edith Finch are in part slightly more fantastical than the real-life settings of Uncharted 4′s home and Division’s post-apocalyptic cities, they all visually represent dense, very human object-rich spaces that to me are quite interesting to explore. Dear Esther might be a little more rooted in nature but its human elements tie-in to its narrative in an extremely interesting way. Each game offers different levels of interaction, some that serve the narrative directly, some as subtexts and others quite mildly in the periphery.

I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself but I remember seeing a promo for Battlefield Hardline coming off the back of Battlefield 4 and the ridiculous marketing phrase “levolution” - the term they coined for large-scale environmental destruction (please take the keys away from the marketing department). I remember seeing video footage of a large construction crane falling in a level and thinking

“All this intelligence, all this tech, and this is what we do with it? Is this all we can achieve? This is it?”

That’s how I feel about this emerging technology. Somewhere out there (on YouTube, to be fair), there’s all this footage buried of the Beyond Good And Evil sequel that to everyone’s knowledge is still in development. I’d put my money on that being the first project built in Ubisoft’s convergence engine that they hope successfully implements everything that each of these games executes individually. I know the BG&E fans are frothing for it and when I saw those early demos, what I interpret of the tech did blow me away, but from an experience perspective, I did still think the same thing...

“Is this it?”

Because of-course, a huge part of the new game is going to be combat. I just - don’t - care. When I think about what was lacking in Uncharted 4, what I wanted more of, it was intimacy. What didn’t I like about the conversation and resolution between Elena and Nathan? About the tours of their homes, the little time spent playing as Cassie, the few insights into Sully as a character, the absence of Chloe who was such a great contrast to Nathan, Elena and Sully all-together... it was intimacy. Yea oroight, so I don’t exactly mean the type of real-life intimacy between lovers, do I - that much is clear. But if I don’t mean shooty because there’s enough of that, and I’m leaning into domestic detail and emotional exploration and reflections of that in objects, spaces and interactivity, then that’s what I mean.

Tho I’m loath to bring it up, I feel like in the worst possible way, David Cage is right on the periphery of this discussion (and for that reason, I ain’t tagging him or his games in this entry, get fucked). He has the most vague notion of trying to ground his games in the intimacy of human experience, so he tries to tie human locomotion and objects to the digital representations of interactivity. If we take those as perhaps the worst possible examples and then come back to some really good examples in Uncharted 4 so I can stop whipping it - I maintain that the house tours are strengths and the high-points of the game, and then look at something like The Division and consider opportunities for more complex interactivity centred around helping people and emotional engagement, I feel like that’s what I’m after.

Which is impossible, right? No-one’s going to make a game even a quarter of the scope of The Division, with all that amazing dynamic lighting, with all those awesome textures and mapped objects, animations, rigged character models, complex scripting and AI, interactivity, load-on-demand tech and full voice-talented support, just to be a game about exploring, sightseeing, meeting and learning about people and helping them? Because who would play that?

I would, for a start.

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jan-uinely · 5 years ago

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hot takes [pt. ii]

good[e] morning campers! we have more thoughts on \_ |_ | _/ RuPaul’s Drag Race episode 9... because i have nothing better to think about... lol. This is a novel, btw.

SO... I have said it before and i will say it again... the in memorium segment gave me life. Robot Barbie Cheerleader. also RIP to jan’s clear drink in untucked.

Let’s get into the gig, because why not. Unsure if readers are aware, but I am very politically minded. [do I use tumblr as a way to put politics aside for a little while? sure. but I have also worked on campaigns, did not take Elizabeth warren dropping out of the presidential race well... I mean she dropped at the beginning of march and now look at where we are.... anyWAYs.]

I did not like this episode. I did not like the challenge. From what I understand, the only other time this challenge was done was in season 4, but I stopped watching season 4 when sharon wore a conf*derate flag bodysuit for a mini challenge, prior to which she wore a mccain/palin shirt. I still don’t know if it was a joke, but #yeet.

So this episode took the place of a “roast”/ stand up episode. Those are usually fine. They separate folks a little bit more. But, as someone who followed the recent primary with a VERY close eye, but was could also be humorous about it... Debates are hard to do. What makes a debate work is that everyone is well versed on everyone else’s platform, and knows how to attack them, because they have been the same person the whole time. For some reason, everyone “invented” a different character to play.... no one had a real platform... and it’s really hard to ~volley~ when people don’t really understand everyone’s characters. I also think, similar to the democratic primary- that there were too many people on stage. I also think snatch game happened too early... but that’s another story never mind anyway [did you catch that into the woods/bernadette peters joke???? @ JAN ].

So everyone has these “characters” which for the most part are not super consistent with who they’ve been portraying on the show... which makes it challenging. Then, it was moderated very poorly, and then edited together very poorly. There was no flow... it was very choppy. Again... not a fan.

Season 8 also had a political challenge, but if i remember correctly, that was just a branding challenge kind of. It was better than this. Now, do I appreciate the fact that Drag Race is taking this election very seriously?? YES. But this challenge was just Not It.

I thought Jaida was very consistent, I liked Jackie’s a lot [It seems like a running gag that she is too prepared in the same way that Jan was too energetic... which has its own election flashbacks....] I am really enjoying crystal... I thought she also had what was close to a fully formed character.. it just needed to bake a little more.

So... next up... ms. goode. #cringe. tbh I don’t care about the performance. Were they just trying to redo snatch game? basically. were they the only person to try and do that? No.

This mirror chat was the bomb dot com tho. best part of the episode.

We’re talking about the “oh i’m not political” We knew from episode one that Gigi grew up in a lot of privilege- and wasn’t the only one [@ jan] but jesus has it shown in gigi the most... I mean bob the drag queen said it best.. Gigi goode’s mom vs Jaida Essence Hall.

But the nerve to openly say “i’m not political, and I don’t like it” when you KNOW at this point in time what the contestants have gone through... it’s just really insensitive. Also to be the open front runner knowing that the RPDR fans can be young and impressionable.. is really irresponsible TBH.

Guess what? I don’t like to follow the news sometimes. I don’t watch tr*mp’s press conferences. Sometimes I log off twitter and go to tumblr. But I still stay INFORMED on the issues and am able to back up my positions. I VOTE. [cannot believe i’m saying this but i would not be surprised if gigi did not vote in 2016.]

[sidebar]

Maybe it’s bc I stan jan in a way that I have stanned no one else before [the only ru girl who even comes close to it while I was actively watching the show without prior knowledge is naomi] Maybe it’s combined with the quarantine that I have nothing else to do. And with that comes a [virtual] introduction to basically everybody who’s anybody in the NYC drag scene. [I will say the Bob-Monet-Cracker-Jan quad is just A+] So maybe I just have a better idea of what it is [have I gone down a Youtube rabbit hole on this subject? yes]

Is new york also my personal favorite city? yes. Have I been to LA? no. Do I like the concept of LA? no. Have I been west of the mississippi river? no. So maybe it’s a combination of all of these things [including Jan saying on repeat that New York is the greatest city to do drag] but. The NYC girls are just so much more political. Brita, Bob, MOnet, tbh Jan is also on the record saying some A+ shiz. Marti Cummings is a non binary drag artist running for city council in manhattan. “Everybody black and aquaria.”

Is NYC politics like any city, full of machines and garbage too? Sure. But NYC is just so much more powerful and political. LA is just the embodiment of privilege.

I also think it’s interesting that some of the smaller town/city gals will move to LA [Trixie/Katya/Alaska? I’m looking @ you] after they get the drag race coin. Not that it’s a bad thing or anything, it’s just an interesting dynamic. [another aside: the non NY/LA girls deserve it all and i think it’s really powerful when the show directly addresses issues of wealth/privilege/access to drag on the show.]

[end sidebar]

And Gigi came into the competition saying “I want to be on vogue” which is great. Their fashion sense is great. Most of their outfits are great. It’s great that they can do comedy [sometimes- like when they are not playing the role of Gigi] But something else I take issue with- and don’t get me wrong humility is great- is the whole “I’m not a dancer” that’s BS. they whole back handspring etc, madonna challenge. Maybe you weren’t a trained dancer, but ffs cut the crap. [if you haven’t look up gigi goode showgirls]

And yet the judges continue to give Gigi [and SP] free passes. It’s like Ru is so afraid that if either of them end up in the bottom, they won’t turn it out and then there will be no frontrunner. Well guess what? In season 7, Max had 2 wins before anyone else and came in 9th. valentina going home was a total gag. Brooke and Yvie lip synced on the snatch game ep. But Apparently when the skinny white fashion queen from the big city [gigi, aquaria] does less than well, they don’t get put up for elimination??? [did aquaria deserve to lip sync for the makeover? idk.]

Gigi is getting a “winner” edit and it’s not really fair to anyone. People who should have won certain challenges were IGNORED, and instead the producers give all the credit to gigi, giving them almost a worse edit. Like we want to see humans, not robots. If we learned ANYTHING from last week is that the judges don’t like when you just “start on 100 and stay there THE WHOLE TIME”. Bc the truth is that [aside from the loads and loads and loads of privilege,] Gigi is really nice and very talented. But I, as a viewer of reality TV, live to see the perfect fail. I want everyone to shine [this is why I loved when Naomi sent manila home, oops]

Also.. I would like to address the fact that Gigi basically used the same outfit twice... this runway and entrance look have almost the same pattern, with just a slightly different skirt type. I would like for this behavior to be called out bc it is such a memorable silhouette.

Also- Shout out to Crystal for the most bomb ass runway... I want that whole outfit pls.

but aside from that... TBH I just want a show with the real top 7 [ the heidi and widow have been cracking me up saying “we’re at top 5″ or “we’re at top 6″ before the ep aired on instagram and I’m loling.. and that VERY AWK moment when Jan is on the x change rate saying that they couldn’t justify putting anyone other that her and widow in the bottom bc gigi and 3 wins and trying to work around not saying SP’s name had 2. [also shout out to jan the real mvp for unfollowing SP on twitter]] doing competitions and having fun. And I’ve said this before. This is a really good season that did not need production’s handprints all over everything. But they chose to cast RuPaul’s Best Friend Race, so they shouldn’t be complaining or trying to manufacture drama.

I was cracking up when Jaida was [clearly prodded by producers] asking is there anything we need to talk about? and then Jackie goes to talk to widow right before they leave and they are just nice to each other. lol no drama here. It’s the season of the inner saboteur.

So Jackie and widow are in the bottom and tbh I don’t know. I would have liked to see Gigi lip sync. I would have liked this challenge to not happen. but it did. The lip sync song.. I just didn’t love the cut... Katy perry’s voice is so over produced [trend alert] that the illusion of the lip sync didn’t work in the first chorus. Jackie’s plastic bag was just A+. These lip syncs, tbh starting w jan v widow have been very good. not good enough to make up for the garbage that was everything since ep. 3, but close. [and some of that was song choice, some of it was not. I will say brita killed her first one but rip to rock]

Jeff gold bloom. I just don’t know. Maybe it’s bc I never saw jurassic park. Maybe he was just a bad judge. maybe he too was being prodded by production. ugh. You can read the takes on his interactions with jackie somewhere else.

#RuPaul's Drag Race #constructive criticism #drag race season 12 #drag race spoilers #most of my frustration is towards production #goode bye to jan sport

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chanaqinn · 4 years ago

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hello child me, i did it. (3)

Skies of Arcadia (Dreamcast) is a game (RPG) I really enjoyed when I was a child, but I wasn’t able to play the entire game at the time. Then I forgot about it because there are too many things to think about out there but I thought about it again last year or the year before and got Skies of Arcadia Legends (GameCube). Took me a while (60 hours at least) but I’m done! Besides... I only started using hacks on Dolphin (Widescreen, 30 FPS, better textures) when I was already halfway through the story lol.

Do I recommend it? Ofc. Because of the art style, the gameplay, the soundtracks, the characters, the plot, the story... and pirates!! with magical powers but still pirates!! It’s old (2000) but if that doesn’t bother you, then consider giving it a try. Or watch someone play it maybe. Or watch all the cutscenes.

[ Spoilers if you open the post. ]

First of all... I always play those “childhood games” in French. If you were unaware, a lot of things may be different in each language (like, names can be different; Pokémon is a good example, look it up).

That whale is Rhaknam. We meet Rhaknam basically at the beginning of the game. That scene made me really emotional... Rhaknam has such a sad story...

yes i picked aika’s flag and more:

(↑ not seen at the end)

:”)

I saw a lot of people asking for a sequel. At first, I thought why not? I wanted to finish the story first before saying if I want a sequel as well or not. I honestly don’t know because there’s pretty much an epilogue at the end when the credits roll, it’s all happy and sooo much stuff happen in the game already that I’m convinced it would be really, really hard to make a sequel as good or even better than what we already got. I don’t even know what happened to the Moon Crystals aside from the last Silver Moon Crystal within Fina’s body. Now that I think about it, we don’t know much about the Black Moon. But, apparently, earlier this year 2020, one of the developers mentioned SOA and said he never gave up on it... even though it’s been what? Nearly two decades since it came out? Don’t get me wrong. I love it. I mean... it’s a J-RPG, it’s my favorite genre– He must have great ideas for talking about it, I guess. If Sega ever considers making a sequel, then I hope it will be as good or better than the original! If not, at least bring the current one on other platforms with higher quality. But then again... it’s Sega we’re talking about... the same company that still left us with frozen fingers in PSO2 since 2012!! and makes and sell freaking printed lookbooks with those frozen fingers!!!

Anyway, did I need to say all of that compared to the other games I showed here? Yes. Because I spent much more time in SOA(L) (or, Eternal Arcadia in Japan but it’s a little different) and it’s less known than, let’s say, every single GTA game out there. >:O

#skies of arcadia #skies of arcadia legends #video games #finally #don't talk to me #;;#chanaqinns

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fluttersheep · 5 years ago

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@michaalien tagged me in this forever ago and im only just now getting to it fjdkjfsd

thank uu

What was the last thing you read? a pharmacy tech study guide ;;

Favorite movie? what we do in the shadows, lego movies, o brother where art thou, hot fuzz is a guilty pleasure

Favorite book? smoke gets in your eyes

Dream Date? visiting an animal sanctuary maybe. or a historical site. hiking somewhere beautiful. idk i have lots but as long as im with someone i love ill have just as much fun sitting on the couch

Do you have a crush? yeah im crushing pretty hard on @skeletonshades but dont tell her its a secret <3

What are your hobbies? drawing, going on long walks, crocheting even though its slow going, lying on the floor

What is your favourite time of day? morning time!

If you could look like anything, what would you look like? dont ask me this im dysphoric and have dysmorphia and poor self image dskfjlsdkfj, this is the only body i get im trying to accept it

Are you romantic? ooooh just a bit :)

What’s your favorite type of weather? brisk and sunny

What do you like talking about? idk. whatever im interested in at the time if someone is willing to listen

What are your turn ons? positivity, confidence, snappy dressing, willingness to help me break into a factory farm

Turn offs? selfishness, poor listener, giving money to the farm im trying to break into

If you got a tattoo what would it be and where would you get it? as soon as the seasons over and i can stand to spend a bit on it im still going to get that homo fuge tattoo

Do you have any pets? ms puppy daisy, although she lives with my parents

Dream job? my dream job is no job

honestly if i could work on a sanctuary part time and support myself thatd be perfect. helping animals, being just physically demanding enough to be satisfying, working outside.. wouldnt that be nice. stupid capitalism :(

Dream place to live? im always embarrassed to say places like scotland bc its so cliche but a little cottage in the country would be so nice ;; also like. free healthcare????

Dream vacation? germany or the czech republic

Do you have any piercings? just the one on the ears, im thinking of getting more higher up but im more of a tattoo person

If you had kids what would you name them? i dont know i dont plan on ever needing to know lol

What are your best traits? big heart

Worsts traits? big heart

What’s your worst fear? being alone, sudden deadly illnesses

What do you want to eat right now? its literally always sushi

What’s your best vacation you’ve ever been on? it wasnt really a vacation but i really enjoyed my recent trip to washington. the mountains were so beautiful

Favourite City? idk im not a city person. i havent been to many either. savannah maybe? and even then i still have a lot of issues with it haha

Favourite social media platform? i guess tumblr since its the only one i use. but only bc every other one is so much worse

Favourite article of clothing? my big black cardigan

Do you play sports? id rather die thanks

Favourite meal of the day? i think breakfast? im always most hungry then so its extra satisfying. and its my biggest meal. its literally what gets me out of bed lol

What are you excited for? seeing my gf in january!!! <333

Not excited for? upcoming credit card bill :(

When was the last time you cried? this morning kdjflsdjk im going through a rough bit

Dream house? i answer this all the time! some kind of cute little place in the country

What’s something you hate about the world? theres a lot dont even get me started

ill just say. some peoples inability to respect animals at all

What’s something you love about the world? when humans are extremely compassionate and caring. i really want to think most people are inherently good deep down, we just live in a world thats been. structured poorly ig

What scents do you like? rose and peach and baked bread

What kind of sleeper are you? pretty good i think overall. i have some rough streaks sometimes but usually i get a good 7 hrs. i sleep really well this time of year when its cold and i have a heated blanket so that helps a lot

Are you a cat or dog person? i used to be a dog person until i worked in kennels (i still adore dogs dont get me wrong) and now i think im just a tiny bit more of a cat person. but i love them both so so much

How long would you survive in the zombie apocalypse? ten minutes?

Are you trusting? i try to be. i trust my friends a lot

What fictional character do you identify with? oh you know

What labels do you usually get? quiet and shy

What song would be your life anthem? honestly nothing comes to mind and im too tired to go looking for a song ;; ill keep you posted

What issues are you dealing with right now? i have so many and cant afford a therapist and im so mad abt it!!!!

How can someone win you over? forehead kisses wrist kisses cheek kisses nose kisses neck kisses just those small nice kisses always get me <33

also yeah $5000

What’s something about you people don’t know? i think my social security number is the only thing i havent shared here at least once

#flutterspeak

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