#(but in FALSE’S case… I really do think the gods play favorites.) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sexydreamgirl · 1 year ago

Note

i know u received a lot of asks like this before but i seriously i don't know what to do anymore. this whole affirm and persist thing really drained me so i wanted to learn more about states and read neville, but i just don't understand anything. i can't grasp the concept about imagination being the only reality and the fact that we shouldn't care at all if our desire will appear in the 3d. it's been so long since i discovered the law and i wasted so much time that i'm starting to think that maybe it's not for me and i should just give up. i want to manifest my dream life so bad and runaway from my circumstances, but i don't know how. i would be grateful for any advice you can give me.

"i can't grasp the concept about imagination being the only reality..."

Imagination: the faculty or action of forming new ideas, or images or concepts of external objects not present to the senses.

This simply means imagination is what matters most because imagination creates. Before it became reality, everything around you was once merely an idea: the internet, social media apps, technology, electronics, the model of your home, cars, freeways, haircut trends, the design of the clothes you are currently wearing, the very idea of even wearing clothes, art as a whole, it doesn't matter what you point at; EVERYTHING was born from imagination. What does that tell us? Imagination is the starting point of everything all around you.

"I and my father are one, but my father is greater than I" = Imagination and reality are one, but imagination is greater than reality.

I reckon what make have sparked confusion in you is the implied dichotomy of the 3D and the 4D in that statement (imagination is the "only" reality) when that isn't the case. The 3D and 4D are symbiotic, the only thing that "separates" the two is man's capacity to perceive it through the senses. Imagination comes first because it's where ideas originate from, the 3D is simply a mirror that reflects what you are conscious of (accept to be true [assumptions persisted in]).

The beauty of imagination is the fact that you can very much bear witness to whatever it is you would like to at any point because imagination is devoid of logical limitations. You can always turn to imagination to identify with something because you can feel something in the present moment without any tangible factors you would've otherwise depended on to spark an idea or a feeling. If I asked you to simply recall what it feels like to drink ice cold water after chewing minty gum, you would immediately start to remember and feel your mouth growing cold. Or if I asked you to think about your favorite song you'd be able to listen to it in your head without it even playing. Neither of these recollections were limited by the fact that you weren't chewing gum or listening to that song at that very second. You were capable of imagining on the spot through your senses and feel their reality.

Let's recall the basic tenet of the law: an assumption, though false, if persisted in until it has the feeling of reality, will harden into fact.

The barrier that confines an idea to stay an idea is the absence or presence of belief. Limitations can never be placed upon imagination or god, except for belief. Ideas you conceive through imagination with the use of the senses will help you bring forward the reality of whatever it is you desire to be, but these ideas mean nothing if you do not feel their reality and identify yourself with them until you become conscious of them. (This also goes back with what is said about you not caring whether or not it'll happen the moment you become conscious of them, more on that right after this.) If you dare to believe in its reality, no power on earth can stop it from coming to pass.

"...and the fact that we shouldn't care at all if our desire will appear in the 3d."

Now, I understand why this is said but I don't like speaking about this angle solely because I understand that a lot of us were drawn to manifesting due to the fact that it could give us something we wanted, so hearing something like this may not make much sense. This is an unpopular opinion (understandably so) but I don't think having this approach towards manifesting is particularly wrong. I felt compelled to include this to let you know it's okay if it doesn't resonate nor make sense to you, it can be quite annoying and maybe even upsetting if you're in difficult circumstances and someone is telling you that you shouldn't dwell on whether or not it happens. We are here to experience the 3D after all, so of course it makes sense that you care about it happening.

Nevertheless, that sentiment in itself is 100% sensical and valid for the following two reasons:

1. The goal is always to free ourselves from the feeling of desire. You appease hunger (desire) by experiencing that idea with the use of your imagination and consequently, you will feel fulfilled. It's like when you're starving but once you enjoy a wonderful meal, you're no longer hungry. When you feel fulfilled, you are free from desire. In this case, that would look like no longer craving food since you've already satisfied your hunger. 2. Imagination creates reality. Anything that you imagine impressed with belief/acceptance of it will give it cubic reality. That's law.

Back to my unpopular opinion, although I do turn to imagination for enjoyment, I also turn to it with the intention of causing something to happen in the 3D, it's fine to see it as such. However, I do think that the idea of not being concerned with whether or not it happens may be much better in approach so you're not overwhelmed by the compulsion of doing in order to receive or even be haunted by whether or not you did it correctly. I highly suggest you read everything I wrote in the post I linked above as well as my guide if you haven't already.

I don't want to get too off topic from trying to clarify your confusion so I'll stop explaining here, but I hope I was able to bring some clarity to the concerns you brought to my attention. Lastly, there really is no "advice" I can give you aside from stick to a single source, apply the information you've learned and persist. Above all, have faith.

75 notes · View notes

rayroa · 6 months ago

Text

Allison Russell Q&A

Canadian songwriter, and Nashville resident, Allison Russell is coming to Tampa on May 11, 2024. Here's our Q&A, unedited mostly, as a reference for anyone who wanted to read beyond the story I did for Creative Loafing Tampa Bay.

I listened again to the record last night. I went for a midnight run for an hour and it was just hitting—it was wild. I live in Florida. One of my favorite things about the way you talk about activism is how often you always come back to just trying to change laws. Thinking about Nashville, the city that's given a lot to you, and obviously you've given so much back to Nashville in regards to your activism. And I was wondering how much do you have in your tank for other places? Can we get a "Florida Rise?" Because domestic legislative terrorism—it lives here, you know?

I know it's everywhere. I think I would love it if Florida artists adopted "Tennessee Rise" to "Florida Rise" and used it, I would be thrilled. We've been talking about the "Love Rising" benefit that we did here to push back against all of the horrific, unconstitutional laws targeting demonizing and criminalizing our LGBTQ+ community which I'm a part of—it's really our trans siblings who are just being assaulted left, right and center, you know, the most vulnerable among us—so we did this big benefit concert called Love Rising, that Hozier supported actually, and so did Hayley Williams and Brittany Howard and Sheryl Crow and Yola, and just all kinds of awesome people, Maren Morris. We raised, like, close to $600,000 for these wonderful organizations on the ground, sort of doing the work year round: Tennessee Equality Project, Inclusion Tennessee, Out Memphis, and the Tennessee Pride Chamber. What it really was, we did a ton of voter registration at that concert, that part of it was really successful as well.

The other part was that people saw each other—progressive and moderate folks who believe in equal human rights found each other in Tennessee. And once you see each other and realize—so much of it people despair, they think that there's no way to change anything. Everything feels sort of impossible or something, but the reality is that in Tennessee, it's just gotten this bad because only 32% of registered voters are showing up at the polls, so it's completely skewed. It's not a super-majority. It's a super-minority government. If 80% of the population had shown up and voted to say this is what the majority of people here want—but that's not the case. And I suspect it's very similar in Florida. I don't know if your voter turnout is dismal as ours.

Turnout is bad. I'm afraid that the registration numbers are getting harder, harder to overcome for the Democrats. I think they're almost at a million disadvantage as far as active registered voters—I looked this morning. We had Joe Biden in town to talk about Roe v. Wade and our six-week ban. Speaking to change the things I wanted to ask you kind of a silly question. Tokenism and this false narrative of scarcity and people being interchangeable—the divide and conquer kind of manipulation—all that's kind of quickly fading away. You mentioned all those people that came to love rising benefit. And it's cool that you don't even have to try to change the system so much anymore, because you're creating your own ecosystem that works for you. But then thinking about diversity and representation and those moments where you can look around and there's like this really uplifting makeup of people on stage, but I think you worked out of Henson recording studio. I was wondering about Kermit the Frog. I saw him play Newport with Jim James, when is it your turn to have a Kermit collaboration?

Oh my god. You don't know how much I want to collaborate with Kermit. Kermit is the reason I play banjo, before I knew anything about the banjo being America's African instrument, brought over by the diaspora. Let me tell you, if “Sesame Street” ever comes calling, me and Kermit have a date.

Someone needs to reach out to Chris Funk at Newport Folk Festival and make that happen.

Help me out. Bring Kermit back.

Let me ask you about Hozier. I love the videos of you singing "Work Song." Sometimes, reading about you and the way you talk about Fred Hampton and the Young Lords and how he brought them together with the Young Patriots—how powerful Fred Hampton was in his ability to create that coalition. You have the Rainbow Coalition, your band. You have a body of fans. I was wondering how close do you think you get to Fred Hampton's vision of collaboration across really, really diverse sets of people? When you look out at your crowd, and you look at your fans, like, do you see maybe what Fred Hampton was building...

Yes, absolutely. Particularly, Hozier's audience. It’s so diverse. It's so gender diverse. Last night I think there were more queer young Black women in the audience than I've ever played to in my life. And it was so joyful. When we sang "Eve Was Black," there was a group of women right at the front, holding up these signs saying "Eve was Black, and so are we." I was crying because it was so beautiful. There really is. I feel like Gen Z gives me a lot of hope. They just seem to not have a lot of the same biases that have plagued previous generations, and they seem to have deep wells of empathy and compassion and care. And it just gives me a lot of hope. These shows have been—I mean, we were only two in—they've just been so joyful. Such diverse, big crowds, and very young—his audience is very young. It's been really, really putting a lot of fuel back in the tank, really giving me a lot of hope. I do see that rainbow coalition out. Really the Rainbow Coalition is everybody that believes in the basic principle of human equality of our one human family and the fact that like, we have a shared destiny on this one life bearing planet that we know of in the universe. We gotta show up for each other in better ways.

I was watching your Instagram story and I did notice that there were a lot of young POC folks. "Eve Was Black" is one of those songs. I'm a Filipino guy. I listened to "Eve Was Black" and in a lot of ways I can't relate in any way—but it's still so powerful. As somebody who's not in that demographic or category. I can't imagine how...

But except you kind of are because—first of all mitochondrial Eve, look it up—we're one human species. We originated on the continent of Africa and then we migrated and we adapted to different environmental stressors. When we try and put some kind of supremacy on pale skin because some people went north where there wasn't a lot of sun and they had to maximize their vitamin D, it's absolutely nuts when you think of it that way. That anyone was ever like, "This means we're superior. It's so absurd. [Elenna Canlas] in our band is Filipinx as well. She's been teaching us a little Tagalog and she's been just talking about the revolutionary movements within the Philippines as well, and how it inspired Black revolutionaries—this was all sort of concurrently happening. I think any people that has ever been oppressed can relate to any other people that have been oppressed. You know what I mean? Because it's the same toxic hierarchies trying to divide and conquer in order to extract and hoard resources, basically. It's just the same story over and over and over again. People you know, we just have to stop falling for the divide and conquer.

You are so good at making people feel seen and welcome. So thank you for saying that because last night when it was really hitting I was like, "I can't, you know, like the imagery of swinging from the tree and all that stuff." It was so tough. Then like the critic mind me, it was like "It's like 'Strange Fruit,'" And I was like, "God, how stupid does that sound?" You know, like to try and say that from my standpoint—like what do I know about it. Yeah, I guess you just flipped that on its head a little bit. So thanks.

I think you make art for survival. And you've talked about that a lot. But I think like refuge is a theme that's kind of baked into your music in a way. I don't know if we talk about it enough, but you grew up in Montreal. And you've talked about the things that helped you kind of escape even in the cold months, those student lounges, the chess matches, Persophone’s home and I think you had an apartment that you paid like $150 for and did telemarketing.

You've done a deep dive. How do you know all this?

I want to ask you stuff that you've been asked before.

You've done your research. Yes, that's all true. You know what's wild. One of my dear childhood friends now works in Taylor Swift's camp. He worked on the "Fortnight" video with them doing art direction and stuff. Whenever I see these huge things he's doing I think about all of us little raggle, taggle misfits hanging out at that apartment, dreaming of being working artists one day. We're all doing it. It's so wild.

That is awesome. And none of it's like guaranteed but at least you guys had each other.

That's the thing—chosen family is everything to me.

So the pandemic, horrifying as it was on a global level, allowed you to pause like the substantive touring habit that you were in. You were on the edge of burnout. The pause let you find a great home for your record. And I know this run just started, but how do you take refuge these days in your own life?

It's really through community. I feel a sense of refuge in surrounding myself with a loving community and surrounding my daughter with that. And honestly playing and playing shows with my friends—I always think about Willie Nelson, "On the road again / The life I love is makin' music with my friends”—basically it's what I've always loved the most. We're able to do that, and my daughter is going to come out on parts of this run and that is just so joyful to me. And building these kinds of growing, loving circles bit by bit, thereby reducing harm in this world—that's what makes me feel happy and good and safe. I take comfort in growing circles of safety and understanding and connection. That makes me feel like I'm doing my small part to reduce harm in the world and leave it slightly better than I found it, and that gives me a lot of comfort.

Let me ask you about Ida since you brought her up. My wife and I were together for 16 years and also did not plan to have a child. You talked about your very joyful pregnancy, birth and the joyful, accidental nature of it all. And I know you've talked about your fears of motherhood. I mean, it's kind of baked into "Tennessee Rise," and breaking cycles, but I'm curious what has Ida taught you about life that you didn't already know?

Oh, my gosh, I feel like so much. Ida is remarkably fearless—not fearless, I shouldn't say that—a brave person. She's very aware of when she's afraid of something, and she'll do it anyway if it's something she really feels she needs to do. She'll joyfully try new things. She doesn't tell herself she can't do them. She is so loving with her friends and also doesn't take rejection badly. She handles rejection incredibly well—and actually, like, she tries again.

Like being told she can't have a cookie? That kind of rejection?

No, no. So Ida spent the first kind of five years of her life on the road with her dad and I. We were in a band called Birds of Chicago, so we were just in the van constantly, and on the road constantly, and so every day there would be a new park in her life. A new group of kids. She would just joyfully go up to news circles of strangers and she would sometimes get rebuffed and rejected, and he wouldn't be daunted for very long—and often she would try again. She's made so many friends like where other people might just see or feel like they couldn't try again or take it to heart that they've been rejected. She has an endless curiosity about other people. She feels things really deeply. She can't understand why there's anyone that doesn't have a home in this world. She's like, "What is wrong? Why aren't we all doing something about this right now?" She just really motivates me to be more proactive in trying to change the things we can no longer stand.

Yeah, I do appreciate your stance on neutrality and options that we have, and things like that. Real quick. I want to ask you, how is dual citizenship going? Will you be able to vote here soon?

I hope so. I'm in the process of getting my American citizenship. Everything is so backed up, so we'll see. I don't know if I'll be able to vote this election cycle, but I'm certainly going to be able to by the next one. And I'm going to continue using my sphere of influence to encourage and plead with others to show up at the polls and remember that it's for the many. When people that have the privilege to vote, it's for every person who's underage. It's for every new immigrant for me who has a green card, but doesn't have citizenship yet. You're voting for your whole community.

There's this notion of being abused by ideology as a kid. You've talked a lot about ideological abuse and how it affects people, and the chain of abuse, but how far have you come in your understanding of true forgiveness?

I feel like I'm still working on it. And I think it's the most important thing we can learn how to do as human beings. It's in short shrift these days. There's a kind of an unfortunate kind of addiction to outrage that's that I see happening online. Definitely. I think it is really damaging and really harmful to our culture‚ the lack of forgiveness. Excommunicating anybody is really dangerous. To have a lack of forgiveness condemns us to an endless cycle of vengeance and violence and discord. I think that for me, one of the things that I have been working up my courage to do is to go see my abuser who is now an elderly ailing man. I'm gonna be in Toronto in June to open for Sarah McLachlan. And I'm going to try and go see him and just say, "I forgive you, go in peace," kind of thing. We'll see if I'm able to do it. I've been thinking about it so much. Especially in the context of—as we look at what's happening in the Middle East, what's happening in Sudan or Congo, or East Timor—I think about these cycles of unbelievable harm. People that have endured and meted out harm far greater than anything I've ever had to endure. And we're asking them as a global community to stop the violence, and we're asking them as a global community to change, to break the cycles. If I can't practice forgiveness in my own life, how can I be asking anybody else to do it right?

As a parting question, do you have anything you want Florida to understand as you make your way down here to the land where woke goes to die?

I want Florida to understand that we can't erase history by banning books. We can't break cycles of harm by pretending harm never happened. And that the only way out is through. And the only way through is together. We have to stop treating each other as enemies and the other—we are one human family on this precious beleaguered, under full-on assault by our worst practices, planet. We can change things together. We can grow circles of goodness together. We're so looking forward to playing and finding the Rainbow Coalition and finding each other.

#Allison Russell

1 note · View note

protokirby · 8 months ago

Text

Okay so the really cool dream I had. It involved the pokemon characters from the scarlet and violet dlc :D

It was one of those dreams where I was nothing but a spectator. I love those kinds of dreams because it's like I'm watching an anime instead of being involved in anything. But this one randomly swapped back and forth between looking like an anime and being as if I were playing a video game. Specifically like pokemon heart gold or soul silver styled during moments it looked like a video game.

The setting of this dream was like blueberry academy but instead of being in the ocean, it was on an island. And there wasn't only pokemon, but also digimon. How fun. It's good when everyone gets along. There were pokemon trainers also training digimon at the same time. That's cool as flip imo. I specifically recall some rando background character in a blueberry academy uniform with a gabumon and two kogamon as well as a pokemon I don't remember the identity of.

That wasn't the main focus of the dream though. Some anthropomorphic hairless cat with a human-like face kidnapped Lacey. The rest of the elite four were trying to rescue her. Drayton was trying to think of a way to fight as if none of these people had access to their pokemon (or their digimon).

Crispin was away somewhere trying to get help. (Not from any pokemon or digimon. Which seems like it should have been the smart thing to do but dreams forget things I guess?) Crispin somehow found a slumbering levitating creature that was said to be "one of the four great ones". What are the four great ones? Apparently like- deities in that universe according to the dream. It looked like a combination of this and this. It was small-ish maybe about the size of a gible but like - probably a teensy bit bigger. Crispin pleaded with the creature to help and it agreed to. (With how au-able this dream was, I think I would design the rest of "the four great ones" and imagine scenarios where the other elite four members find one individually too. Because 4 characters and 4 creatures. Why not? But that might be favoritism rjsfgjyfjg)

Meanwhile, in another place, Drayton learned how to shapeshift into a really huge very long centipede. Like gigantamax centiscorch shaped in length vs width but overall small enough it would be able to fit in a closet. Very long critter. Many legs. The centipede was solid black in color except its legs were all purple. Unexpected of Drayton but I think that looked epic. Very au-able dream. Might add this dream as an au in my multiverse specifically because of how cool it was.

Then the dream went back to where Crispin was. That's when the dream went from looking like an anime to like playing a video game. It looked like the overworld in pokemon heart gold and soul silver and Crispin looked like a little sprite with the floating creature also a sprite following him the way pokemon follow people in those games. They were walking in what was like a small city, which is what blueberry academy kind of was in the dream. Crispin kept trying to get to where Lacey was but there was a primeape blocking every path except for one that was difficult to find.

It was really like a video game the way the primeapes jumped up twice when spoken to with the sound that happens when leaping off of ledges happening in both jumps. Then a dialogue box that says "Looks like we need to take another path." Of course this was again ridiculous like- why couldn't the floating creature with Crispin called one of the "four great ones" move the primeapes if it's supposedly some deity-like cosmic entity? (It feels blasphemous to the real God to treat a fictional or false god as if it's all powerful but the thing should at least be able to deal with an angry primeape??) Just another case of dreams not making sense. Ran into like 3 different primeape blockades before finding a hidden path through some grove of trees.

After that, the dream went back to looking like it was an anime I was watching. Crispin got there just in time to see the centipede wrap around the evil anthropomorphic hairless cat. Wrapping around it while making sure the cat thing's claws are tightly restrained because its claws appeared to be its main weapon. This was to prevent it from attacking to give Amarys a chance to run go rescue Lacey. But oh no. The cat thing has teeth. It bit into the centipede. Its fangs sunk into the centipede like butter and it started drinking blood. The centipede screamed like a squeaking silk moth caterpillar as if it had a megaphone and unwrapped the cat thing to turn back into Drayton, who was then laying on the ground very pale and not awake. Alive, but Wow that's intense. The creature that Crispin brought was able to kill the anthropomorphic cat thing. But I woke up soon after that. Wasn't able to see any of the drama that would have followed from people seeing that Crispin made friends with what was basically a deity to that universe. I think that would have been funny to see. With it being a dream though it probably wouldn't have really been acknowledged.

Anyhoo

Making an entire au based on this dream might be fun.

It's not as if I haven't based an entire au on dreams before. (For example, one of my aus was based on a dream where Ball Guy was secretly an alien princess. Nobody would know under that costume. I combined that concept with a non-pokemon fantasy world I had in like- high school. Things spiraled into different directions while maintaining all the original ideas from the dream. And then it became one of my 3 main alternate universes)

#a dream i dreamt

0 notes

asoulofatlantis · 1 year ago

Text

You have to give it to Van, as a Trails Protagonist he has of course a whole Harem who would like to have him really close... but his Harem is much more... reserved and subtle then the ones the previous Protagonists had. Might be because of the age tho... But seriously, if you forget that Saara was one of the Harems-Ladys then it shows you how non-aggressive she is. Since the Cold Steel Arc is my favorite and that is the one were the girls are most aggressive in their pursuit of the Protagonist, it is always weird to sit here and be like: "Ah... yeah... now that you hint at it, that's right, Saara was in love with fun. Funny, I totally forgot that."

Do I see a glare? XD My my, it is always interesting to see who Elaine sees as a threat and who not. Like she is totally relaxed around Agnes but she was pissed at Shizuna who I am not even sure of if she even has interest in Van to begin with. Saara also seemed to make her jealous. Its probably the mature type that actually gets her gears working.

So... we still go with the absolut out of character thingy that our closest friends and people that knew us for years don't trust us? Okay... fine... whatever...

Have you noticed how in the Kuro-Saga a lot more people play dirty when fighting us? They could have stabbed us to death, but they prefer to use poison. I think that is to make clear for you as the player that you really are much more in the darker area of things. Playing fair isn't always a thing in the grey and dark zones.

In case you haven't noticed yet, dead number 9 is coming our way. And it well sadly not even close to being the last one.

Elaine really pissed me off in that scene. I get that their are Enemies and someone had to protect the others, but her man is currently dying and there she is, standing with her Sword in hand, not even flinching for a second. Yes, I know turning her back on them could be her dead too, but... her man is dying, who would focus on not leaving any opening in such a moment?

This is misleading. It wasn't Ashen herself who killed us, it were her man.

I leave that picture here, for me to know and for you to guess why XD

We have routes here too? O.o B-But we are all together.

Ah... I think I see were this is going. Just... still not why.

Uh... last time I saw him he seemed to be fine, when he walked past us in that Cave after revealing the secret of his brothers identity. But... I mean... maybe I missed something? We've these time leaps going on, god know what we might have accidentally done to him? ^^' Jokes aside, either someone has brainwashed her with some convenient lies and false storys... or some sort of curse is at large here... wouldn't be the first time. Falcom loves the curse ever since Cold Steel 3. Its also so convenient to use as an excuse for peoples wrongdoings.

It pisses me off every freaking time she does that. URG! I wish she would put that stupid Sword away and exchange it for a normal one and then fight Rean and then we will see who does the Spiri Unification better! (Grrrrr!)

I wonder if someone ever told Falcom about the difference between Nostalgia, repeating a pattern to bring across a message and actually overusing old convenient plotpoints...

XD These are definitely not the right Words to use in this moment but he is absolutely right *lol*

#kurocs mona version

0 notes

archetypal-archivist · 4 years ago

Text

Tommyinnit and Hermitcraft- Heartstone

So this builds off of the whole "Tommy has somehow found himself on Hermitcraft after the exile arc" thing that got really popular with @redorich and @petrichormeraki on tumblr. Basically it's an excuse to give Tommy therapy and 20+ parent figures. One thing that's a common thread in those stories is that Tommy is shocked that Hermitcraft has infinite respawns and all of the hermits are quick to reassure him that he really won't perma-die in their world. And I had the thought- well, what if he wasn't in their world anymore? And thus came forth 1500+ words of angst~

It begins like this. Evil X is stuck in the void, alone and with no one to talk to. He misses daylight, he misses touch, he misses hearing voices other than his own. One day, he sees something get shot through the void as if by slingshot, leaving a trail of code in its wake, tethering the whatever it is back the way it came. This is Tommy, and while he begins to get adjusted to Hermitcraft and company, Evil X watches as the string of code begins to imprint itself into the void, and eventually learns that he can interact with it, albeit only on the most superficial of levels. On Tommy's end, he slowly begins to heal from his time spent in the war zone that is the Dream SMP, making fast friends with Grian and several of the other hermits in the process. He goes pranking with his newest, winged older brother figure, laughs at the antics of Impulse, Tango, and Zedaph, builds a cobblestone tower with BDubs, etc. But for all that he's healing, such a process isn't linear. No one on the server can truly understand just what sort of stuff he has been through, and so he often finds himself alone, trying to deal with his wildest emotions by talking to himself.

One day, however, a little voice in his head starts talking back. It's rough and gravelly and not very nice at first, but it's faint enough that he chalks it up to his imagination and moves on with his life. He follows Stress around like a duckling for a day, plays squire for Welsknight, and has a roaring panic attack after an unfortunate spar with False leads to him getting flashbacks to the Pit with Technoblade. He retreats back to his tower for a good cry, and in the midst of his tears, he hears the voice again. This time it's a bit nicer, sounding unsure and a bit panicky as it tries to encourage him to stop crying, god this is awkward, kid, it'll be fine. Wait, are you a kid? You seem tall for a munchkin.

This time, Tommy knows that it isn't his imagination, but half of his old server seemed to have voices in their heads so he really isn't all that alarmed that he seemed to have developed one of his own too. And he does something that no one else does when Evil X reaches out- he starts talking back. It's rough going, at first, especially since both of them have abrasive personalities, but eventually they settle into a rough estimation of friendship that means more to them then they are willing to say. From Evil X's perspective, this is the first time someone has actually listened to him and hasn't been turned away by his violent streak, his bad manners, and lack of proper social skills. For Tommy, this is a chance to vent to someone who seems to understand his pain. It helps that neither of them are inclined to ask too many questions. Tommy, on his part, has no clue that Evil X is an actual person and not a voice in his head, while Evil X can't bring himself to ask why Tommy has left a trail of code in the void and why it's all so glitched. He especially fears asking about the perma-death clause that seems to naturally have occurred in his code.

He will come to regret this choice.

The day is like any other, at first. He begins his day with a slice of sweet melon and then flies off to whatever hermits are awake at the time to "share a meal with them." Really, it started as an excuse to make sure that Tommy was eating at least one meal day, even in his most dissociative of states, but has since turned into an opportunity to eat weird things in front of people to see their reactions. (Etho is his favorite. He's always up early and half the time, asks to try a bite of whatever Tommy is having. They both agree that spider eyes taste a lot like sour boba.) From there it's off to the shopping district to restock his dirt shop and claim his share of the profits from the hole-digging service he runs with Grian. After that, there's just enough time to complete an order or two and collect more cobble and dirt before he has to meet up with Grian to go on their biweekly End Busting session. The two usually have a lot of fun as they go about it, Tommy jokingly shoving Grian off the platform only for his adopted brother to catch himself and fly up to join him on the narrow platform spanning the emptiness once again. Every once in a while, Grian mock-threatens to do the same in return, but he knows better than to actually attempt it after he did it once and had had to catch Tommy when he started screaming and even after they had gotten back to solid ground, he wouldn't stop for the better part of half an hour.

On habits die hard, after all. Tommy may have been told time and time again by everyone on the server that infinite respawns are a thing, yes really, but he still has a hard time believing it. He actually has a rather insane number of levels racked up- even more than Xisuma, which is impressive- because in all the months that he has been on Hermitcraft, he hasn't died once. It's a combination of survival skills taught to him by Philza and his own paranoia which has kept him alive for so long, and most of the hermits agree that it is rather impressive, if not entirely healthy for him to be so scared of dying. (Doc once offered to kill him as evidence that yes, it really is safe here and you will respawn, but for all that death by crazy redstone machine might of been cool, Tommy took a hard pass on that. Grian low key took exception to Doc offering to kill his adopted little brother, really man? Not cool.)

Anyway, Grian and Tommy meet up in the End and start off bridging with the insane amount of cobble that Tommy has stored up. Usually Tommy is in front, placing the stones, and Grian is in back, watching out for any sign of a slip up, but this time they decide to switch it up a bit, head in a new direction, play around with who's doing what this time. It ends... poorly. They bridge out into the black, on and on and on, farther into the void than they ever have before. Slowly, the islands of floating white stone stop appearing with such frequency, but they become larger in size and stranger in shape. Every once in a while Grian will see what he swears to be a glowing white mountain of Endstone in the distance, although Tommy calls bullshit each and every time. They chalk it all up to bad luck and going nuts from boredom, but really, neither one of them knows how to quit while they're ahead. As the islands disappear altogether and all that remains to orient themselves is the tenuous lifeline of cobblestone beneath their feet, the unthinkable happens.

Grian slips. And Tommy, taught compassion by the very world that will now kill him, reaches out to save him.

For one, brief moment, the two brothers clasp hands- and then Grian's weight pulls Tommy right over the edge and down, down, down into the void below.

Grian fell out of the world.

Tommy fell out of the world... and into a new one.

----

Xisuma wakes up late that day. He's been doing that a lot, if he's honest, given how late he's staying up most nights finishing up builds and the like. Those hours of sleep have to come from somewhere, after all, and he's far from an early bird. He gives into the impulse to relax a bit, drinking some tea sweetened with just enough honey to rot his teeth, and then heads off to his computer room to start up his duties as admin for the day. It's the red lights that alert him to something being wrong, and at first, he thinks it's just one of hermits' cam accounts being buggy again. Perhaps it got shut off while the hermit was bridging through the void and the hermit in question simply hadn't retrieved it yet? But who would name their cam account Tommyinnit? The looming dread sits cold in his gut as he flicks his fingers to open up his admin panel... Best to check, just in case.

The death messages are clear enough- Keralis had just perished to a ravager yesterday, likely Tango's from Decked Out if he had to guess. Zedaph had been slain by a piglin twenty minutes ago. And Grian and Tommy had fallen into the void. But if that were the case... why had only one of them respawned?

On Grian's part, he comes to with a lingering chill deep in his bones and an awful headache. The bed underneath him is warm and the sheets are a soft rosy color, likely one of the ones in Scar's magical village if the persistent smell of spruce is anything to go by. He winces against the light filtering through the window and turns to the side, squinting at where Tommy had placed his blue bed right next to his, apology on his lips for his stupid mistake. The sheets are undisturbed. Huh. That's weird, he could have sworn that he and Tommy had set their respawn points at the same time. Maybe Tommy had just forgotten and he was back in his base or at spawn? Grian rises to his feet slowly, giving his body time to adjust to the colors and sounds of the Overworld, then flaps his wings and takes off to go looking for his Tommy.

He doesn't find him.

---

The reactions to Tommy's "death" are many and varied, although for the most part, the hermits are split into two camps- those that think Tommy is gone for good, and those that think he may still be out there somewhere. For the first few days of Tommy's disappearance, most everyone is in the latter camp. Xisuma spends hours upon hours scanning the code, becoming increasingly more frazzled and terrified as his lack of sleep gets to him. Tango and Doc join him in the endeavor, although none of them have any luck or are able to spot the piece of code that caused the problem. No additions, no changes to the text, nothing. Grian leads the other team, those who set out on foot and one wing and with pick in hand to scour the world for their youngest charge, taken from them too soon. They begin in a grid pattern, setting out in ones and twos to search the whole world, but as the distance increases, the neat, orderly flyovers turn into frenzied boosting as panic starts to get the better of them. Some of them hold onto their composure better than others, but Grian ends up flying over the same patch of forest three times because he can't see for his tears. False, Impulse, Welsknight, and Beef cross the Nether, fighting their way into Bastion after Bastion and leaving Nether portals in their wake. In their tracks comes the fliers- Grian, Ren, Iskall, and BDubs. Each one takes a portal and does a sweep through the corresponding patch of Overworld before picking a direction to continue the search. Cubfan, iJevin, and Scar take to the seas, Mumbo, Stress, xB, and Zedaph to the End, Etho down into the depths of the caves below. Strangely enough, there are a few hermits who don't join the search- Keralis, who got the unlucky task of taking care of Xisuma and the others searching through the code, Tinfoilchef, who doesn't provide a reason but everyone gives him a pass because of his age, and Joe Hills and Zombie Cleo, who refuse to explain themselves.

Eventually, the searches dry up. Eventually, some of the hermits admit defeat. Hundreds of thousands of blocks out from spawn, down to the bedrock below, beneath sea and sky and every place that lacks the sun. How far is too far? For Xisuma, enough is enough. Tommy is dead. The search is over.

He stops looking. And soon, others do the same.

And the tone of the server... shifts.

For the first time that any of them can remember, a person has perma-died. Sure, they've all heard the rumors, of servers where infinite respawns is not the norm, of servers where the world glitched and a creeper is supercharged enough to damage a player down to their code. But they'd never thought that one of their own would be on the receiving end of such a curse. And to the hermits, the possibility of dying themselves suddenly becomes all too real. The constant flying is the first to go, and for those that insist on it anyway (outside of Grian, who has wings), checking the elytras' durability becomes more than just a habit. Eating spider eyes and other junk is out of the question, now it's golden apples or nothing. The Nether is all but abandoned, as is the End, and everyone on the server either groups up so that they are never alone, or retreats into their bases, becoming true hermits befitting of their server's name.

The joy that had once been so characteristic of the server is gone, and in the hearts of all, there lingers the dread that any one of them might be next- although, there are still those that hold on to hope that Tommy may not be as gone as he seems.

---

The hermits who think Tommy is dead for good and have stopped searching: Doc, Etho, Xisuma, Welsknight, Grian, BDubs, Cubfan, TinfoilChef, Stress, False, Iskall.

The hermits who think Tommy is still out there, alive if still missing, and that the search should continue: Keralis, Mumbo, Tango, Vintage Beef, Impulse, Zedaph, Joe Hills, Zombie Cleo, Scar, Rendog, xB.

Doc and Etho are old. They don't like to admit it, but they've been around since the beginning, back when players were first learning how to jump servers and communicator technology was undergoing its first upgrade. They've seen a lot and know well by now that dead is dead. Tommy is dead. All that is left to do is mourn and move on, and they have shed their tears already. Call them cold for it, but in the face of a kind of drive that can keep a man going after his entire server has burnt down around his ears (Mindcrack will be missed), they know they need to keep moving forward. There are enough broken messes on the server these days, and it is through their efforts that shops remain stocked and the torches don't burn out. They hold onto normalcy with an iron grip and hope that some day, the rest of the hermits will join them in rationality.

Stress too has a comparatively healthy approach to all of this. She doesn't want it to be true, god no, but so far everything is pointing in the direction of Tommy being dead for good. She eats a couple dozen bowls of ice cream, has a some good cries, doesn't leave her base for a week, and even afterwards she can't bring herself to wear pink for a while. But she's mourning. She's accepted things. She lets her heart break, and as time passes, she lets herself heal. And that's enough for her.

Scar is of the opinion that Tommy is still out there, and while he clings to that hope with all his might, it's fragile and Cub just knows that his best friend is going to be cut to pieces when that hope inevitably breaks. So he takes Scar aside for a quiet conversation, to break his heart before the world can break it for him. Afterwards, Scar stops talking about Tommy as if he's coming back, but his smile is never as bright as it was before. And Cub's heart breaks too.

Team ZIT swings the exact opposite way as the rest and are firmly of the belief that permadeath is impossible and thus Tommy must be alive. The three of them aren’t known for their impulse control at the best of times, and with so many hermits having given up, the trio is rightfully vicious about the fact that the others, in their eyes, have abandoned their friend. Zedaph, Impulse, and Tango all kind of feed into one another and start doing lots of dangerous stunts, as if daring the universe to permakill them and prove them wrong. If one of them does something, the other two join in and escalate things, which gets impossibly dangerous very, very fast. Tango is furious, Impulse is bitter, and Zedaph is straight up heartbroken that his other friends would give up on another of their number. They do things like fly incredibly high, go cliff jumping in the Nether only to catch themselves at the last minute, and sprint across the End bridges. If they have doubts, they never voice them. Even when Tango feels like he’s burning up from the inside and wonders at his newfound hate. Even when Impulse is utterly terrified but goes along with things anyway because Tango is doing it and he can’t bear to leave a friend alone. Even when Zedaph looks at his friends and can’t help but feel scared of and for these strangers wearing the faces he knows so well. Even then.

Team ZIT often gets dragged into and starts lots of screaming fights with the other hermits who believe Tommy is dead, especially Doc, BDubs, xB, and False. False especially gets vicious, as while pvp is no longer permitted on the server, her tongue is as sharp as any blade. She believes firmly that the others are trampling on Tommy’s memory by insisting that he isn’t dead and she is determined to make them stop. And if they refuse to give up their foolishness? Well, all she might have left is her words but with them she will make them bleed.

xB and Vintage Beef are as close to neutral as you are going to get from those that get into regular arguments. xB thinks Tommy is dead until proven otherwise, while Beef thinks the exact reverse. As some of the more chill hermits, they often get dragged in to play negotiator so that the fights don’t turn physical. And some days, when someone says something particularly hurtful, they’ll close themselves up in one of xB’s bunkers and drink until they can no longer remember why they ought to be enemies. It’s hardly healthy, but they both agree that it’s better this way. Better to forget than to hurt, after all.

Grian is… somewhat the same. Sort of. He was traumatized by Tommy, the boy he adopted as his little brother, dying before his eyes, and he can’t help but blame himself. That is, when he can remember that Tommy is dead at all. After the fall, Grian’s mind was badly broken and he couldn’t accept that his little brother was dead for the longest time. He fell into two weeks of deep depression, barely eating or drinking, and eventually Iskall came and took care of him when he realized that he hadn’t seen his buddy in ages. Iskall nursed Grian back to health, only to feel his heart shatter in his breast when Grian turned to him, eyes feverishly bright and tone childlike, asking where Tommy was. The winged man’s mind couldn’t cope with the loss so it had shut down entirely, making him forget the tragedy that had occured. Iskall had deflected then, frantically trying to figure out what to say, but after a few days of Grian wandering about in a dreamlike state, his memory came back to him and he collapsed in on himself once more. The winged hermit is now locked in a loop of this, while poor Iskall is stuck trying to keep his friend alive and relatively sane.

Iskall, for his part, thinks Tommy is well and truly dead. In part because of his own certainty, in part because anything else would be even crueler for Grian. He doesn’t resent his friend for his break downs, just quietly bundles him up and clutches him close, coaxing him to eat and bathe, to put down the guilt and realize that it’ll be okay, the world won’t end with Tommy gone. He gently tries to nudge Grian down that path of acceptance of Tommy’s fate, and though he faces many setbacks, he tackles each one with a special kind of patience born of platonic love. They’re bros, despite everything. It’s only right.

Mumbo is, weirdly enough, on the side of Tommy being alive. Iskall doesn’t exactly approve and while he and Mumbo sometimes get into whispered arguments over it, they try to keep their little disagreements from Grian. Both of them only want to see their friend happy again, and will do just about anything to make it happen. For Mumbo, this means putting together crazy redstone contraptions to try and find Tommy again, as he’s certain that Grian’s little brother is still out there somewhere- and he has a piece that might prove it. Iskall comes over one day, face drawn and haggard from a night of soothing Grian through another set of screaming nightmares, only to find Mumbo waist high in redstone wiring, all hooked up to a strange portal design that looks too much like Doc’s infinity portal from season 6 for comfort. At the top of the arch is Tommy’s compass, needle whirling about like a hurricane, and while the portal isn’t lit, it does give off a faint blue-black glow. Iskall is frightened that Mumbo is tampering with something that could get him killed and Mumbo rushes to reassure him that no, the compass was specifically linked to Tommy so if Tommy was really dead, it would have been reset, right? He’s merely borrowing that tie to try and figure out where the two ends lead. Iskall is less than sure about this, especially since Mumbo is just as drawn and pale as he is, if a bit more covered in redstone, but they agree that fighting is pointless. They care about each other and about Grian too much to put any of them through that sort of pain- and besides, there’s more than enough fighting on the server already.

Ren too thinks that Tommy is alive and he is one of the ones who gets into regular fights. He’s a lover, not a fighter, but something about this whole situation just burns him up. When the pressure gets too much, he goes flying, tracing over those old familiar trails they searched so long ago, trying to see if there is anything they missed. There never is.

Welsknight has made his peace with Tomy’s death, though the server tends to forget that he and Tommy were closer than most. He alone knew that Tommy was once upon a time a boy called Theseus (a name given to him shyly when Tommy had asked him if there were any great heroes with that name that didn’t die). He alone knew Tommy’s love for horses, or that he would spend hours whispering horror stories to them when he thought no one would hear. Tommy was his squire, and although he had accepted the tragedy, he still wept for the hurt it brought him. He alone knew of the little grave he had dug under the willow tree in his castle courtyard and the headstone he had placed there, engraved with Tommy’s true name, death date, and supposed date of birth. He couldn’t have been more than 17, and perhaps that was what hurt the most. Every morning at dawn, Welsknight brings a bouquet of flowers to that little grave and says a prayer before disappearing into the morning fog. The flowers are always the same- forget me nots, for remembrance, violets, for devotion, and clover. (Think of me).

Tinfoilchef stays out of it- always has and always will. He’s too old to rush about searching or to feel as wildly as the others do. He feels, of course, but more so as the mountain does, steady and strong despite the winds that tear at its surface. Tommy is dead, but then, so are many of the people he has known in his life. It’s best to just keep plodding along.

BDubs is a mess. He had never spoken of it, but long before he had come to hermitcraft, he had had a daughter- a beautiful baby girl whose heart was too big for her chest, and she had died for that difference. He had grieved for years, but eventually the peace of the hermitcraft server had left him soothed, if a bit different than before. Tommy had been another chance at fatherhood, not that he could ever bear to call the teen that, even in the privacy of his own mind. Instead, he had taught the kid to build cobblestone towers that weren’t entirely offensive (if shaped a bit oddly) and had been the first to volunteer any time Grian was out and Tommy needed a place to spend the night when the nightmares were particularly fierce. They had so many fun sleepovers like that, and staring at those awful cobble towers in the distance, BDubs can’t help but bawl his eyes out at the memories. He waffles between taking the towers down or leaving them up- they really are ugly, and the feelings in his chest that they inspire are even more so, but somehow, he can’t bear to see them gone. Instead, he dries his eyes, flies off to grab a shulker of cobble, and sets about adding a few more to their number. A final remembrance for the boy he would have gladly claimed as his own, if only he hadn’t been too late. (He ends up building a lot more than a few).

Joe and Cleo are somehow the only ones who are actually neutral in the whole mess. Whenever they are asked their opinion on if Tommy is truly dead or not, the pair simply smile mysteriously and refuse to comment. Joe always seems to know more than he lets on and Cleo is his closest confidant, after all. Despite the anger and tears directed their way for refusing to commit to either side, the two keep their silence. (They know the truth of the matter, after all. Everything will be okay in time).

Xisuma has given up. Tommy is dead, and there is nothing he can do but spend days and days going over the code with a fine tooth comb, trying to find the glitch that cut the life of their youngest member short. Keralis takes it upon himself to take care of his long time friend, but it’s not an easy task, not when the other is so determined to make sure that such an incident never happens again. And Keralis can’t find it in himself to complain, especially since he is laboring under the impression that Xisuma agrees that Tommy is still out there and is trying to find him. It is only when Keralis mentions it in an aside, thanking the admin for his dedication, that Xisuma breaks the illusion and explains. Tommy isn’t just dead, he says tiredly, his very presence is well and truly wiped from the world’s code. All that is left of him is the faint impression his code had left behind, and trying to read it and understand what went wrong is a bit like trying to read small letters that have been drawn out in dry sand. Even for a voidwalker like himself such a task is near impossible, and Xisuma can only do so much. The needs of the many above the needs of the few- best to secure those he can now than worry over those that are gone beyond his reach. And Keralis can’t help but look at his friend with new eyes, a fleeting sense of betrayal in his heart. He had thought better of his Shishwammy, and he says as much.

He cries while Xisuma watches on in solemn, mournful silence.

---

TBC :)

#hermitcraft #minecraft #fanfiction #dream smp #hermit tommy au #angst #My writing #i'm proud of this one

501 notes · View notes

kneamet · 4 years ago

Note

Inspired by Wandavision. Reader is trapped in a perfect world of sitcom. However, she notices that her husband Loki is in control of everyone. I also ask for a scene that Loki goes to SWORD agents and threatens them like Wanda.

Trigger Warning: obsession, yandere, forced, kidnapping

Word Count: 2768

Character: Loki/reader

Summary: you knew that your husband was a magician, but you never thought that he would decide to create a perfect false world

POV Your

It was strange. Very strange. The world has seemed unreal to you lately. Everything was so unrealistic that I wanted to gouge out my eyes.

You looked down at your hands, feeling extremely worried. This acrid feeling burned and ate away at you from the inside out, making you feel anxious. It was very scary and unusual.

"Darling, what are you doing? Thinking about genesis?" the mocking velvety baritone whose owner was currently smiling softly at you from behind asked you. A light laugh followed his sentence. Laughter, like a crowd laughing at a joke.

You shook your head. It seemed particularly heavy now. Reflection and thoughts struck your bright, unfilled dark thoughts, head.

"Loki, what is that laugh?" you asked, turning your head to look at him. Loki only raised an eyebrow at your remark and smiled at you again, shaking his head and walking down the stairs towards you.

"I don't know what you're talking about, my sweet queen? What are you getting at?" coming up to you and touching your hair with the big hand that did the magic and gently running it through it. You blinked, leaning away from her husband's touch.

You loved his touch. So soft, so tender, so in need of the necessary love, which... What is it? Why can't you remember?

"Loki, honey, can I ask you something?" you could feel his nod as you stared at the dark screen on the off-screen TV. "What happened before we came to Westview? I can't remember, " you said in confusion, turning completely into Loki, who was looking at you with a serious look, frowning.

There was a lonely silence between you and your husband. On the top floor, the children could be heard frolicking and playing among themselves. The tension that weighed down the souls of those in the main room was overwhelming.

"Is this how pregnancy affected you? You know, I'm not an expert, but after this stage in life, girls are very suspicious of their husbands, " Loki smiled charmingly again, sitting down next to you on the blue sofa that sagged under his weight, and hugging you around the neck, kissing you on the cheek. It was a ridiculous kiss, more like a reassuring kiss.

The laughter came again. It was an unusual laugh when you see someone in front of you and they laugh. No, it was a laugh on the echoes of consciousness, which in an endless rhythm only intensified when a "funny" joke was heard. It was suspiciously strange. You felt your hands start to sweat a little.

With your lips pressed tightly together and your teeth biting the inside of your cheek, you stood up, emerging from Loki's pleasant captivity. His hands, which you so loved to touch, had to be left behind, freeing yourself from a pleasant manual captivity.

You loved Loki. He was a very interesting man... No, not a man, but a God, to put it mildly. Your beloved God, who was head over heels in love with you. He was very sarcastic and handsome: that black hair of his, which was now cut short in a perfect style; green eyes, so attentive that nothing escapes them. What can I say here, he's a God.

Grabbing your coat from the hanger and going straight up the stairs and heading straight for the door, wanting to get out and get some fresh air, as well as refresh your obsessive thoughts by going deeper into the thoughts that haunted you even at night.

"Honey, are you going somewhere?" getting up from the sofa, your husband asked obsessively, smiling at you and in an instant, teleporting, being near you, putting his hand on your shoulder.

You mastered your shoulder from his hand, shaking it slightly and not even paying attention to it, opened the door, saying:

"Get some fresh air. Keep an eye on the boys," you muttered as you closed the door behind you, not even bothering to look at your husband, who was standing there with a tense face, looking at you. It's a good thing you didn't notice.

You wanted to get out of this city. Find out what's next. Maybe we can find out from people if they know anything about you, or maybe it's just that you have a terrible memory.

But no, it can't be so terrible that you don't remember anything from the day you and Loki came to this city that seemed like an ideal city. Still, there was something wrong. Something was bothering you.

Deciding not to slow down and just walk towards the end of the city, you began to look around. You didn't walk very far, maybe fifty meters from your house, and everything was fine.

"Hi, Rob!" you shouted to your fool from work, to which he only smiled painfully at you, and your feeling only grew stronger when you saw a tear trickle down his cheek.

We need to get out of this city faster and find out from the people who live nearby if they know what's going on here in Westview.

You didn't remember when this craze to find out what was going on in this town started. Maybe when you haven't seen the kids on the playground for a couple of days in a row? Or when your friend Geraldine left so suddenly that you didn't notice? Or when the children began to grow very quickly? Or maybe when I saw the tears of the residents, when they portrayed happiness?

It was difficult. You couldn't put the details together, and your mind refused to remember your past, which you couldn't just forget. There must have been something, right? Your memories couldn't have started with you coming here with your husband, could they?

You shook your head, looking up and noticing that the main city was gone, leaving only small houses and a road that led off into the distance. Just where the STOP sign is placed. Is travel prohibited for everyone, or just for you and the people of this city?

Suddenly you stopped, clutching your head. No, no, no, what if you're imagining it? What if this is all just a game of your excited mind? Maybe you just made it all up and the people at Westview are really happy?

Squinting at the small house, your eyes only widened in fear, which was reflected in your trembling hands and your herd of goosebumps that ran down your back. The woman stood motionless, as did the man, apparently he was her husband, and she was his wife. They just stared at one point, apparently not even breathing. It was scary to see and you didn't dare approach them.

Looking around and not noticing anyone behind you, only frozen people, you stepped a little further, overcoming the road, noticing a strange, whatever it was, but it looks like a wall or some kind of dome that was blue mixed with green, similar to the colors of magic... Loki?

You knew about Loki's abilities. That he's quite a powerful mage, but could he create this dome? Was he so powerful that you didn't even know it? Your hands trembled, and so did your lower nooba. Your eyes stared at that dome-wall in amazement and tortured fear.

Your eyes widened and your mouth dropped open as you finally put together the details that had previously been a dead weight in your head.

When you touched it with your hand, you felt yourself being pulled in. It became uncomfortable. Now the question of real life was being decided, where you would learn everything about yourself and live in a world where there were no lies, or whether it would be better to stay in a world full of lies, but with your husband. Your hand has wavered in the direction of the false world. What if Loki gets angry? Did you know how evil he can be?

But no, as you said earlier, retreating now was too easy and incomprehensibly simple. To give up is to admit defeat, to remain in a world where you will always be written as a lie.

But Loki...

Shaking your head again, and finally stepping into that dome wall that seemed to shield you from the real world, you felt a pull with your foot and your whole body. So you didn't have to do anything. In any case, you will simply be thrown out of this world, soaked in lies.

As you tried to make your way through this wall with small steps, you felt how thick it was in its width and so high, although it did not bother you. Right now, all that filled my heart was a sense of freedom.

You felt like your mind was being released and memories were coming back to you from before you and Loki moved to New Jersey.

Suddenly, you felt something hit you in the back and you seemed to fly out of this wall right on the green grass with your stomach down. You groaned a little, sitting up and looking around.

There were people standing right next to you, surrounding you and looking at you in disbelief. Behind them were tents and huge body cars that flashed their headlights. Strange faces were looking at you, very worried. Your eyes went over the people very quickly before you said:

"Darcy?" you whispered, squinting against the light. She was the only person who supported you back then. Then? When?

"Y/N?"

"Help me, please save me!" you asked them, seeing how some of them began to approach you with a reliable expression on their faces, apparently wanting to help.

"I don't think you need any help, my dear queen," said a familiar soft and sweet baritone voice behind you, the sound of which your ears enjoyed. Your eyes widened and you felt fear. Inappropriate fear. Your legs are shaking. Your heart began to beat in a loud rhythm in your mind, drowning out everything except Loki's words, which were currently echoing in your head.

***

POV Loki

He did not think that his dear, dear queen would betray him. Didn't you realize that Loki did everything especially for you, wanting to dedicate every part of himself to you? Did he know that this world wasn't safe, and why did he have to create a fictional one based on your favorite TV shows, which he liked to watch with you, wrapped in a blanket on the comfortable sofa in your apartment, which he often visited earlier?

Loki loved you too much. He never wanted to hurt you, only to help you and make you feel needed and in love with someone.

He always thought you needed someone to take care of you. Yes, and take care so that you will feel like a queen. To protect, care for, and trust you, and the most important thing is to show love for you. What he missed so much.

Loki didn't like remembering the past. It was just a dark line that he crossed out when his mother died, whom he loved so much that he did not even notice the bright manipulations on her part. No, for him, she was a savior who protected him from his father's wrath.

Blinking and shifting his bleary gaze to you, his beloved queen, Loki tightened his grip on the missile that had been set upon him and his children. His favorite perfect twin boys that his beloved wife gave birth to.

They were so wonderful. Children are the flowers of life, isn't that what the Midgardians say? It seems to be. The ideal family, such as only happens in the movies, was embodied by Loki in the form of him, his beloved wife and two children.

Throwing a rocket in the direction of S.W.O.R.D., Loki lowered his head, feeling the magic that was green in color form in his hands and that was ready to kill everyone and get out of his personal life.

The contempt for people oozing out of his mouth was as ugly as it could possibly be. His gaze darted in your direction and softened slightly. The sight of you always calmed his raging mind and brought him to his senses. He took a step toward you, grabbing you in a sloppy hug, as if to show his protection.

It was nice for him to look at you. Your soft hair, in which he liked to bury his nose; your beautiful eyes, in which you could drown if you looked at them only once, and in which he was often lost. He saw you pursing your lips, frowning. Were you afraid?

Loki turned his gaze back to the agents, focusing his magic in his left hand. Magic that can cause pain.

"The rocket was a precaution. You can't blame us, Loki, " a loud male voice shouted. He didn't know him. But most likely it was the director. Loki's brow furrowed as he tightened his grip on you, doing nothing but protect you. He won't let the agents take you away. For too long, he had been alone, wandering the worlds.

"I don't think so. This is my last warning," as if a growl had escaped Loki's lips and the magic had only intensified, instilling the fear he so fiercely enjoyed. "Stay out of my house," the house he was so happy to have. A home where everyone loves him and waits for him. A house where he is respected. The house he missed. "You won't touch me, and I won't touch you," he warned, eager to get out of here and talk to his wife. They would have to have a long conversation.

"I'm afraid it's not that simple. You're holding the whole city hostage, " the unknown man shouted at Loki, to which Loki only curled his lip. Contemptuously. Didn't they understand that he just wanted to be happy? That he just wants to be alone with his beloved and his children?

"I'm not the one with the weapon," Loki warned him, feeling the arm he held around you tighten slightly, and the magic only increased its power. She seemed ready to destroy everything he could see. But right now, he had you, his beloved queen, at his side, who calmed him down with just an unobtrusive presence.

"But you're in control!" a commanding voice was heard. This time it was a woman. Out of the corner of his eye, Loki watched the expression on his beloved queen's face.

"Geraldine?" ah, what a gentle and quiet voice.

"Are you still here?" the man arched an eyebrow significantly, kissing you in the hair and looking with a withering look at the ex-girlfriend of his wife, who insinuated herself into the trust and into the affairs of his family.

"Loki... I didn't know the drones were armed. But you know that, don't you?" slowly approaching him and you, the woman said in a soothing voice, like a doctor talking to his sick patient. Loki always knew there was something wrong with her. She was too suspicious. "The city is full of civilians, but you, God, have brought an S.W.O.R.D. agent into your home," Loki frowned. The blood surged in his veins. He knew that at some point, he just wouldn't hold back. "I helped your wife give birth to your children," she looked at you, and you reflected her gaze with a look of hope. Do you want to leave him? "And on some level, you realize that I'm your ally. I want to help you, " she said in a trusting tone, and Loki slightly reduced the pressure of his magic that oozed from his thin fingers.

"How? What can you offer me?" he knew what she would say. There was no answer to that question. It was all reduced to one thing. The family Loki needed.

"What do you want?" the woman asked, standing in the background with the man who had spoken to him earlier, as if taking a manipulative pose.

"I already have everything. And no one will ever take that away again," Loki muttered, releasing a large stream of energy from his hands, forcing himself to control the minds of his subordinates and aim the scope at the director of S.W.O.R.D.

Turning around, Loki grabbed your hand, squeezing it in a painful grip and helping you turn around. He saw how you tried to resist and remove his intrusive hands and touch, to which the man himself only tightened his grip on you, pushing you into a false world.

#tom hiddleston #obsessive #yandere #yandere loki #yandere tom hiddleston #obsessive tom hiddleston #obsession #tom hiddleston smut #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston x reader #wanda vision #wandavision #loki x reader #dark loki #loki #loki x you #yandere loki x reader #obsessive loki

162 notes · View notes

tofeartheunknown · 4 years ago

Text

Back to December

Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Request by @caritobbg

Not edited.

I only made the call because I had no other choice. I was relieved to hear Sam's voice on the other end of the line. After all, it's been three years since I've spoken to either of the Winchester boys.

"Hello?" Sam's groggy voice caused an involuntary smile.

"Hey, Sam. It's Y/N." I heard shuffling and assumed, along with the groggy greeting, I woke him up. "Sorry for calling at..." I looked at the alarm clock, "four in the morning. Oh God, sorry, I should call back later." I apologized. I lost track of time after midnight.

"No, no. It's really great to hear from you." I could hear the surprise in his voice. "What- ah, what's going on? Is everything alright?"

I cannot deny that I've missed the brothers. In particular, the one I wanted to avoid calling at all costs. I'm not sure I could have had this conversation with him, if he would have answered the phone, that it.

"Everything's fine. Well, not completely. Listen, I'm in Denver, and there's a Demon in town. I've been here for two weeks and I can't seem to catch him. Bodies keep dropping. I've narrowed down his hunting ground, but I think I need some help here." I bit my lip, awaiting his response. I mean, come on. I was with them for five years before leaving, no phone call, text, email, or letter, then all of a sudden call and ask for help.

"Why didn't you call Dean?" Seriously? That's his response. I couldn't stop the sigh that escaped.

"You know why. Besides, he probably wouldn't pick up the phone." His grunt told me he agreed.

"Alright, tell you what. Text me what motel your staying at and I'll talk to Dean." He sounds more awake now. I hear water running and assume he's making coffee.

I couldn't hold back my shock. "Really?! That's great, thank you!" I stood from the small couch.

Sam let out a small laugh. "Yeah, no problem. We'll be there tomorrow."

"See you then." I hung up after that, hoping to finally get some sleep.

I remember that night as if it just happened. Sam, Dean, and I just finished a hunt the night before. Dean and I decided to celebrate by getting a motel room for just the two of us. Sam understood out need to be alone and assured us he would be fine by himself for the night.

"This is amazing." I mumbled, cuddling closer to Dean on the motel bed. Porky's, Dean and, coincidentally my, favorite movie was playing on the TV.

"Yeah, we haven't had time for this in months." Dean agreed, his hand rubbing my arm that laid across his torso. "Too bad we have to pack up tomorrow."

This was news to me. I didn't think there was already another case. I hoped to spend at least a few more days like this with Dean.

I sat up at looked at him "Why so soon? We just finished here." He didn't seem to notice my disappointment.

"Well, Babe, monster don't take days off." Dean said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You know that. You grew up in this life, just like Sam and me."

My disappointment turned to anger. "Dean, you said it yourself, we haven't had any time to ourselves in months. We can afford to take some time off and relaxe." I stood from the bed, my tank top and jeans lay beside my feet.

"No, we really can't." Dean's raised his voice, not enough to disturbed the rooms next to us, but enough for me to realize an argument is starting.

"Five years, Dean. That's how long we've been together, and nothing's changed! It's the same thing year after year! Is this all I'm gonna get?" I was fuming. He doesn't understand that I want more than he seems to want out of our relationship.

This isn't the first time we've had this argument. But this is the first time I lay it all out.

"What are you talking about?!" Dean asked, now sitting at the edge of the bed.

"I mean, it was fun for a while. Hunting all the time together. But that's all it is now! Sure we get these little nights, but... I need more." It's the first time I've admitted to him. "Let's be honest here, we're falling apart, Dean."

Dean scoffed, clearly oblivious to the issues we've had recently. We've drifted apart, mostly due to the fact that we haven't been on the same page in a while.

"So, what? You wanna get married now?" He asked, his arms spread and an eyebrow raised. It was my turn to scoff while pulling on my jeans.

"No, smartass! I want an actual relationship with you!" I shout, pulling my tank top over my head. I sat on the edge of the bed and shoved my shows on, not bothering with socks or tying them. I was far to upset to care.

"What do you think we've been doing all this time?!" Dean yelled, putting his jeans on, knowing I'm about to leave. " What do you want from me? I got you flowers, got us a room, and took you to dinner? I don't know what else to do!" He sounded utterly desperate for answers, watching me pack my duffle bag.

"I want to feel like I'm not the only one holding us together!" I spun around as I yelled. "It's always one hunt after the other with you! I get that it's what we do, but I can't do just that anymore!" I felt the tears fall before I felt the stinging in my eyes.

Dean followed me out the door, my bag on my shoulder. I didn't even notice Sam step out from him room next to ours.

"Where are you going?" Dean's voice was slightly panicked, our fights have never gone this far before.

"Anywhere but here." I turned back to him. His glossy eyes almost too much to handle. "I love you, but I can't live this life with you anymore. I need more than this, but it seems like you don't. I'm sorry..."

Dean, shaking his head, let his tears fall freely. "Don't do this, Y/N, please." He whispered. His hand came up to cup my cheek. I grabbed it and moved away.

"Goodbye, Dean."

I never spoke to or saw either brother after that night. Walking away has been my biggest regret. But, now I have to get ready to meet them at a diner in town.

The butterflies in my stomach are raging as I parked a few spaced down from the all too familiar impala and the two bodies leaning against it. It's now or never, and though never sounds like a much better choice, I know this has to happen.

I stepped out of my car and pulled my bag over my shoulder. Sam, unsurprisingly, was the first to greet me, walking up with a large smile. Dean wouldn't look up from the ground, knowing it was me. I can't blame him, I could hardly look at him myself.

"Y/N." Sam opened his arms, a bit hesitant, not really knowing where we stood. But I walked right into his arms fully returning this much needed hug. I really did miss this. Sam was like a brother to me, and it hurt walking away from him too. "It's good to see you." He said, pulling away.

"It's good to see you too." I smiled up at him before looking over at Dean. I do my best to control my breathing, ignoring the tightening in my chest. "Both of you." I finished, hoping the green eyes would finally catch mine. Unfortunately, it was a false hope.

"We should get inside" Dean grumbled, then he began making his way to the diner entrance. I frown, pushing against the moisture threatening to gloss over my eyes.

A hand landing on the middle of my back, I looked over to Sam who gave me a sympathetic smile. "Give him time, trust me." He assured me, guiding me through the doors Dean went through.

"The Lexicon bar" I handed Sam my notes while we waited for our food. Dean still hasn't said a word to me, and even though I expected nothing more from him, it still feels like a dumbell is sitting on my chest. Dean glanced over the papers as well, so at least he's taking this seriously. That hasn't seemed to change.

Sam handed the papers back and I slid them in my bag. "OK, so what's the plan?" He asked, shooting the waiter a short nod and thanks when he sat our food in front of us. He picked up his veggie burger, while I picked at a few of my fries and Dean didn't even touch his. If this was under any other circumstance I would be shocked.

"I was thinking I play bait." Sam opened his mouth to object, but I quickly continued speaking. "You two can keep watch and catch us as we leave. All victims were found in the back ally. All female, no specific type. All victims participated in the bars open mic, starting from ten p.m. to one a.m.. I'll go one tonight while you stake out the crowd."

"How are you sure he'll choose you?" It is the first time Dean has actually acknowledged me since they got here. My palms begin to sweat any throat grew dry. I took a gulp of my drink.

"Well I don't exactly, but I do know how I could appeal to him more." I picked at my food more, avoiding eye contact.

Sam and Dean glaced at each other. "After we finish we'll go to the motel and start preping." Sam said before biting into his burger, starting off a very awkward lunch.

"There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about Dean. I messed up. I walked away and it's the biggest mistake I have ever made. Now, seeing him, it brings everything back. I never stopped loving him, and I honestly believe that I will love him for the rest of my life. After the hunt, do you think you can take my room tonight. I need to get him alone, I need to apologize. I need to at least try to get him back. I don't want him to leave without knowing how I feel." I explained to Sam as we waited for Dean to gather the rest of what we needed for the hunt. I'm wearing a knee length (color) dress, my Demon knife strapped in it holster on my thigh.

"He hasn't been the same since you left." Sam started. "You thought he was obsessed before, he's constantly seeking out hunts now." Sam sighed, leaning against Baby's passenger seat. "He won't admit it, but these three years have been absolute he'll for him. I hear him say you name in his sleep at night." He looked at the open motel room door, watching Dean assemble his gun with devil's trap bullets, just in case. "He'd still go to the ends of the earth for you." Sam has absolutely no idea how much that crushes me, but also gives me hope that Dean will hear me out.

I wiped a fallen tear from my cheek just as Dean walked out, closing the door behind him. I've noticed the looks he's given me since I've changed clothes. "Let's get this over with." Dean mumbled while taking off his jacket. He handed it to me, knowing I was getting cold in the fall weather. I stared at it on my hands for a few seconds before pulling it on. Sam was right, he does still care. Before I could thank him he was already in the car. I got in after Sam, who shot me a knowing smile. Dean started the engine and we were on our way to the Lexicon.

Once we stepped inside our plan went into motion. I gave Dean his jacket back and made my way to the open mic sign-in sheet. There was only one other person on the list so far. I put down an alias and the name of the song I was going to perform. I've been thinking about it since we got to the motel earlier. I Taylor Swift's back to December came on the alarm clock radio as I got ready in my room. I realized how insanely similar out situation is to the song lyrics and decided it would be best to portray my feelings to Dean disguised in a song. It felt like it would be easier.

Once I got back to the boys we begin to briefly go over the plan. "Okay, Dean, when open mic starts keep an eye out for anyone talking to the participants after they sing. I'm second on the list." I explained. "Sam your on stand by at the front of the alley way out front. Dean or I will send a text when it's go time." I finished, taking a drink of the water Dean bought me, remembering that I don't like drinking on the job.

"Good luck." Sam advised, patting me on the shoulder before walking out of the bar.

"So, how are you so sure the demon will target you- and why can't we just let wait to see if he walks out to the ally with some else? Dean implored, he seemed concerned cause hope to swell some more in my chest.

"Every victim sang a heart break song of some sort." I answered, avoiding eye contact. Silence falls between us for what feels like forever, although it was about a minute. "Look, can we talk after-" Dean cut me off.

"We probably should be seen talking. It needs to look like you're here alone." Dean proceeded to take a sip of his beer before nodding over to the bar. "I'll be keeping watch at the bar." He stated, turning away and leaving me to watch him walk away. The same thing I did to him three years ago.

"Next up we have Diana Troy." The bar owner announced into the mic, holding out hit hand and helping me onto the right five by seven foot stage. I've spoken to him many times using this alias for the investigation. However, I'm not surprised he doesn't remember me he tends to take his ownership of the bar for granted most nights.

I muttered out a small "thank you," before adjusting the mic stand a bit. I tried not to think of the seventy or so eyes on me as the music started.

"I'm so glad you made time to see me

How's life? Tell me, how's your family?

I haven't seen them in a while

You've been good, busier than ever

We small talk, work and the weather

Your guard is up and I know why"

I see that night replaying in my head exactly how it has almost every night since I left.

"Because the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind

You gave me roses and I left them there to die"

I could feel Dean's eyes without even looking for them. When mine found his the power of the chorus hit me hard.

"So this is me swallowin' my pride

Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night

And I go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you

Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I go back to December all the time."

My eyes never left him until the song ended. I didn't even know I was crying until a tear fell onto my arm. As people clapped I made my way off stage and to the bar. As I was almost to the bar, some one grabbed my arm and spun me towards them. Bingo. We found out guy. Or, rather, out guy found me. Though there is no proof that he is the demon, I just knew it had to be him.

He wore a white dress shirt and black pants, his eye hung a bit loose on his neck. He looked like a working man, and had trusting, kind blue eyes. His short black hair slicked back with a little gel. He had olive skin and a lean figure. He looked harmless. It took restraint for me to not pull my knife on him now. I have to wait to get him outside.

"That was absolutely beautiful." He praised, his hand still on my arm. I sniffled, wiping away the remaining tears.

"Th-thank you." I mumbled, itching to remove his hand.

"My name's Gerard. What's your story?" The Demon asks with a charming smile. My brows furrowed at that.

"What do you mean?" I thought for a moment and decided to guess before he has time to answer. "With the song?"

'Gerard' nodded, leaning against the bar. "I don't mean to pry, but you seem really upset. I can only assume the sing meant something to you." He explained, finally removing his hand from my skin.

"I-uh..." I looked at the floor indecisive of what answer to give him. I could lie and make something up, or I could just tell him the truth. It's not like I'll see him again after tonight, so what harm could it do. "I messed up. A while ago. I left the one person I loved most in my life during a stupid argument." I took a shaky breath. "I don't think I can ever find someone who made me feel as alive as he did." I knew Dean could hear every word I said. He's standing a few feet behind us and it's not like this is a whispered conversation. I need to talk to him, so I need to speed this up. "I should just go." I moved past 'Gerard' only for him to grab my hand.

"Let me at least walk you to your car." His insisted in an innocent, concerned voice. "You never know who could be out there waiting for a vulnerable women to walk past them all alone. There are some real monsters out there" He pushed, the irony gave me chills. I nodded, letting him lead me towards the side exit. I stuck to my naive role and let his guide me without protest.

As soon as the door shut behind us, I was pushed against a wall and 'Gerard's' eyes went black. "Do I look stupid?" He glared at me. I just shrugged the best I could.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" I question with a raised brow. I didn't try to reach for my demon blade yet. I'm just waiting for the distraction.

The Demon put his hand up and made a fist. My throat tightened and my oxygen is cut off. I quickly brought my hands up to my throat, because that's what people do when they can't breath, even though it does absolutely nothing to help. I was beginning to panic until I heard someone yell.

"Let her go!" I was Dean's voice. I looked aver the the demon did and felt relief as oxygen began pouring back into my lungs. Dean's gun pointed towards the demon distracted him enough to let me go.

"Now, it that anyway to treat a lady?" Sam asks, standing next to Dean with his arms folded. I slowly pull the knife from my thigh holster and creep up behind the demon.

"Oh, so it's three humans against one demon I'm so-" I plunge the knife through his back watching it slice through to the other side. He lit up like a Christmas tree for second before going limp. I pulled the knife out and watched him fall onto his side. I quickly rolled him over and opened his shirt. There are four bullet holes in his chest surrounding the stab wound.

"How did you know?" Dean asks from above me. I look up to see him and Sam standing there and looking at the corpse.

"I had a feeling." I mumbled, I've learned to trust my guy over the many years of hunting; I tend to be right. "Let's clean this up." I muttered before helping Sam picked up the body and take it to Baby when Dean pulled up to the curb.

I slipped into the boys' room right after Sam left to get dinner. Dean glanced over, putting down the gun he was cleaning and standing from his chair. "Can we talk, please?" I stared down at the floor, my hands in my pockets.

"Did you mean it?" Dean's question caused me to look up. He must have seen the confusion in my eyes because before I could even respond he continued. "The song you chose. Did you choose it for me?"

I hesitated, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. "Yes. Just hear me out!" I was quick to stop any protests that may come out of his mouth. "I hate myself for walking out on you. It was the biggest mistake I've ever made. An-and if I could go back to that night I would have stayed. Since I left I haven't been sleeping well, I see you when I close my eyes and some night I still cry myself to sleep." I took a shaky breath, not caring to wipe my tears away.

Dean's eyes grew glossy with his own tears. "I wanted to hate you for leaving. But all I could do was hurt. People say it gets easier, but it never did for me. I've tought about you every day for three year, Y/N." His voice cracks and sobs break through my lips.

"I'm so sorry." I cried, covering my face with my hands. I was so distracted by my own pain that I couldn't here Dean making his way over to me. When I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders I just fell into him. I could tell he was crying by the way hid chest shook. I latched my arms around him tight. I never want to let go of him again.

We stood in each other's embrace for a while, feeling as thought we're the only thing keeping each other stable and upright. We we finally pulled apart we sat next to each other on the bed.

Things can't go back to the way they were, but at least now we can start picking up the pieces of one another, one day at a time. I'm never letting Dean Winchester go again.

Note- Not the best ending, I apologize , but I haven't written anything in forever, and this took me such a long time because of that.

#supernatural #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #supernatural one shot #spn imagine #spn #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester #supernatural imagines #supernatural x reader

88 notes · View notes

twisted-in-wonderland-jay · 4 years ago

Note

Hello hello! I'd like to request I, J, G, L, O with Cater, Malleus, Idia and Rook please! (SFW alphabet)

I-I love you

J-Jealousy

G-Gentle

L-little Ones

O-Open

I- I love you

Cater tells a lot of people “I love you” in a flirty way and in a friendly way. So he’s probably been telling you that for a long time.

J-Jealousy

Jelly real fast. If your talking to someone and he want’s you attention. One of a couple things could happen. He could come up from behind and put his arms around your waist. Or maybe he’ll come up from behind and tilt your chain to face him a kiss you, then take to away from that person. Or any other idea that pops into his head.

G-Gentle

Not to gentle in the emotional way. A lot of times he’ll confide in you about his problems making you worry about him while out realizing that he’s making you worry. He’ll also tell you if you look weird in an outfit, or somethings wrong. He doesn’t do it to be mean he’s just a straightforward person to date.

L-Little ones

He doesn’t want kids. End of story. But if you really really want to raise a family he won’t be thrilled about the idea... One kid is all he can handle, and with his social media and looks he’ll most likely have a kid later in life rather then in his 20s like most.

O-open

Cater’s a bit nervous to tell you much about himself. He has two faces as we’ve seen and happy social media Cater, and the real Cater. He tells you he’s not hiding anything, but in the end after while of dating and knowing you won’t tell ANYONE. He tells you exactly what kinda person he is.

I-I love you

As soon as you go public with your relationship is the first time he says it in front of another person. Though he fell in love when he saw you, he didn’t day “I love you” until after half way through the school year.

J-Jealousy

Showing the same kindness and understanding to others that you show to him. It makes him feel like he’s not special to you.

G-Gentle

Genial all the way. He’ll even apologize even if he did nothing wrong, just in case.

L-little Ones

Malleus is scared at first. People think he’s quite scary and he doesn’t want scare the children. He would want biological kids, wether your a male, female, or other, these people have magic so they would find away. The reason for this is because he is a prince, and that means continuing the line of succession. If you didn’t want at least one kid Malleus wouldn’t know what to do. His family has stayed in power for a long time and ending it with him would be a complicated endeavor. Malleus is also okay with adoption if you want to, he would just prefer If you never told the child they were adopted because he wants everyone to be kind to his kid. If people knew this wasn’t his biological kid they might get bullied for being a “False heir”. If this happened or you aren’t born royalty and people talk like this to you Malleus would haunt their dreams till the day they die, he loves you and your child with a burning passion and would never let people tall that way to you.

He’s a wonderful father taking them places, walking them to their lessons, but he also knows there’s a line. He’ll make his child realize real fast that things in life aren’t just handed to you. Malleus would train that kids magic like there’s no tomorrow. He wants his kids to be as powerful as the witch of thorns

In regard to the child he would like it if they were mostly Fae and he would remind them that humans aren’t lesser. Because some like Sebek dislike his human half. He would also love it if they had your eyes, and hair color. He secretly wants a child that’s 75-95% human, he would baby the hell out of them!

If his kid decorates his horns he’ll wear the decorations all day in meetings, dinners, and if there’s a ball, he’ll dance with them in.

(This took a while so I actually recorded what I wanted to write and this is what I said word for word)

He would totally take his kids trick or treating on Halloween. I know he himself does not go trick-or-treating but imagine this “knock knock Malleus’ at your door now give my kids some candy.” Yo what if they breath fire like him! What if they go out to light the lanterns?!

Also Sebek and Lilia would be the best baby sitters. Sebek may be stiff and all that, but he loves the kids and would relax around them.

O-Open

He’ll tell you what you want to know, but it’s always at a cost or something in return. Or you could save to trouble and ask Lilia, or Sebek. One of them has to know the answer to your question.

I-I love you

He takes a long time... He’s new to the whole dating scene so he doesn’t know when the right time to say the magical words are. He want’s you to know he loves you though. If you say “I love you” he’ll whisper it back. Later on in your relationship he’ll start to say it more. The first time he says it aloud and clear, you are both in his room and he takes your hands in his and tells you “I love you” in a whisper and gradually gets louder until he has the courage to look you in the eyes and one last time he tells you.

J-Jealousy

Idia doesn’t get jealous because he doesn’t care, he just doesn’t want you to leave him that’s all. If you play games with another he might pout or hide away from you, because he needs attention. If your playing and he’s laying in bed next to you, he’ll face away from you pouting a bit.

G-Gentle

Gentle to the max, he’s not one to force you to do anything and is kind of a doormat... He’ll always tell you that you look lovely. Not because that’s what you want to hear, but because he genuinely always thinks you look lovely or wonderland everyday. Bed head-lovely, Formal wear-extra lovely! And so on.

L-little Ones

(Answered🎶)

O-Open

He likes the mysterious aura and you not knowing. If you really wanna know about Idia just ask Ortho and he’ll tell you anything you wanna know about him and his life, routine, and family. “Ortho...Why’d you have to tell...”

I-I love you

ASAP! He tells you he loves you to the moon and back. He’s super poetic about it most of the time, either singing it to you, writing it in fancy writing, reading a poem to you, etc. He’s very... out there and... different.

J-jealous

He’s not one to get jealous. He’s very calm and if you talk to people or hug, etc he doesn’t care, hell most of the time he’s not even looking your way, so he wouldn’t even notice you. As long at your not cheating on him he doesn’t care what you do. You would have to do something crazy to get him riled up!

G-Gentle

Gentle like a feather emotionally, he worships you like a god giving you all the praise in the world. I don’t know if this counts but physically like his hands and lips are rough from hunting and working. He wears his gloves most of the time so Vil doesn’t find out.

L-Little ones

He would love to have 2 or 3 little ones running around. He’s surprisingly good with kids often making them laugh and playing games with them. He would make an excellent husband.

O-Open

Ask away and you shall get the answers to everything you want to know about Rook himself. He’s not much of a secret keep (only when they need to be kept). But he’ll tell you anything you wanna know. Favorite color, Stupid shit he’s done, how he met someone, who he’s dated? All is yours to know, he doesn’t see a reason to hid things from people, let alone the one he loves.

#twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #idia shroud #rook hunt #cater diamond

90 notes · View notes

kaisa-ryo · 4 years ago

Text

Megumi Fushiguro NSFW Alphabet

Warning: English isn't my native language!

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*

A = Aftercare (What he likes after sex)

Nothing can be better than looking at you, studying every part of your face up close. Watch how your eyelashes tremble, how your chest rises and falls, inhaling and exhaling air. So familiar, so lovable. What a beautiful and so necessary face at this moment. From time to time he wants to run his fingers over it, remember it, photograph it. I want to look at your face for a very, very long time. Then he drops those thoughts because he needs to focus on trying to sleep.

B = Body part (His favorite body part)

Lips.

God, he so enjoys watching you bite them, lick them, paint them with glitter. This is essentially a small insignificant part of the body, but so demanding for courting and kissing. Yes, kisses ... Megumi so wants to touch them and do it yourself: bite, lick, paint with glitter ... After all, they seem so soft and delicious.

C = Cum (Everything about sperm)

Into a condom. Even if it is not always convenient and completely satisfactory with an elastic band, Megumi still prefers to protect herself. In addition, it is useless to oppose this if you do not want problems in the future. But if you ever ask him to do it without a condom, he might even agree, though not right away. First, make sure that you really want it, since he was not ready to ever do this. So don't be surprised if he gets worried during the process.

D = Dirty secret

From time to time he thinks about how you will take full control over yourself. It makes him mentally convince himself what a lustful bitch you are for him. He understands how you revel in your own perfection, how this thin erotic veil allows you to devour him with your eyes, hypnotize. It almost makes you a god. But the deity should not so protrude his sexuality in front of his beloved. Therefore, if you do so, then in the morning Megumi will throw some reproach in your direction, but at the same time he himself will remain satisfied and completely satisfied.

E = Experience

There is. If in high school he was a cold-blooded bully with a good appearance, then it is possible that Megumi had favorites back then. Not to say that, under the influence of hormones, he wanted to fuck every girl, because on his mind he had only the goal of maintaining justice with vague and false concepts. Yet he tried it once. She was a girl with high status and good connections, which were beneficial for him to achieve his goal. Sex without commitment is not the best experience that can be obtained, because apart from the pleasure of the process, you do not feel attracted to your partner. But what you just do not go to achieve the goal, right? The guy did not particularly remember that incident, but a clear understanding of the foundations of the art of submission remained.

Now he doesn't want to remember school life, because both character and actions were not sugar at all. In addition, the intentions of what then and what from now are different, one should not exceed expectations. But speaking of being intimate with you, Fushiguro has acquired a real bond that makes intercourse more sensual.

F = Favorite position

A deck chair is a great option. It seems like an ordinary missionary, but both he and you have something to hold on to. And as a bonus, he sees your face, by which he can give an accurate analysis of how well you are now.

G = Goofy (Are you serious at this moment?)

Yes. Despite the main goal of getting pleasure, it is also important for him to control it. He is not afraid to death that everything will go downhill. It's just that perfect sex hasn't bothered anyone yet. In addition, it is not at all difficult for him to do as he wants. Therefore, he feels a great need for complete control over intercourse. If everything is done correctly, he feels proud of himself, which cannot but please him.

H = Hair (Is the hair ok?)

Hygiene is as important to him as every other aspect of his life, especially if it somehow, no matter how, concerns you. You never need to remind him of this, as he himself tries to take care of the intimate area as often as possible. Therefore, he is unlikely to have problems providing comfort for both of you.

I = Intimacy (Romance)

There is. These are mostly cute things that are usually not considered very important, but for you they are like a trophy. For example kisses on the forehead, crown of the head, knuckles of thin fingers, neck and shoulders. It is like a ritual dedicated to love for your beauty and uniqueness. Even if the process is not very sophisticated, you get pleasure every time. Towards the end, you realize that you have gained much more than the warmth from light, but sensitive touch.

J = Jack off (masturbation)

There is such a thing. And you don't have to be far away. If you have not done this for a long time, but for some reason he is afraid or does not want to offer you, then do not mind masturbating to one of your photos in the gallery.

K = Kink (Kinks and fetishes)

The guy is not indifferent to your body, no matter what shape it has. Feel his smell, touch, stroke, listen until all these tenderness reaches light bites, squeezes, licks ... He feels everything much more sophisticated than it seems. And nature is such that subconsciously very subtly feels desires. Even if they are not at all.

He likes it when you walk in sexy pajamas, stockings that accentuate the shape of your legs or open clothes, although he doesn't always approve of this, because he knows perfectly well that he is not the only one who likes your body.

I like to give you different jewelry because they look so perfect on you. It is not for nothing that people say: "It is not clothes that paint a person, but a person's clothes."

For Fushiguro, this is both the main aesthetics and a source of inexhaustible pleasure, which is noticeable with the naked eye.

L = Location (Favorite places to have sex)

Not a lover of variety, so the option with a bed is the most ideal for him. Moreover, the bed is large and soft, which allows you to do a lot without any discomfort. You often feel tired after sex (unless you're a sex addict), so in the case of a bed, you don't have to worry about passing out on the table or floor. Yes, with the bed, you are subject to almost all poses!

Fushiguro is also not cold to the sofa, which is not much different from the bed in terms of sex. On it he can relax while you ride it, clutching his shoulders or pants. The sofa is also a good control plane, which can be easily used if you understand that you need to get up. It's still convenient! Why do you even need a shower and a table?

M = Motivation

When you walk around the house in the open in only panties and a bra. He doesn't like it very much, but heck, he really doesn't want to admit that he is actually embarrassed and it still turns him on. And when he comes to pick you up from home to take you somewhere, and then finds you not ready, in only one underwear, he will be indignant at why you are still not dressed, then he will turn away, covering his face with his hand and making a slightly trembling exhale. At this time, you will notice how his cheeks and ears turn red and giggle softly, pulling on a T-shirt. Once you specifically asked him to fasten his bra, knowing that it will start. After all, in front of him, a close-up flaunts your completely naked back, which you can touch and stroke. It seems that another second and he will lose control of himself and go into a rage. Holding his breath, he will begin to gently stroke the delicate skin and excitedly run his fingers up and down the spine, feeling his legs trembling from the touch. You will have to bite your lips in order not to turn around, and all this time with concentration to look in the direction where your shadows are reflected in a black silhouette on the wall a few meters away.

Also no less exciting for him is your passion for something. If you diligently write an essay, essay, read interesting books, even just tap your nails on a hard surface - he will be immersed in your actions. After all, the main thing for him is not the process of action itself, but how you perform it. When Fushiguro sees you at work, he enjoys every second of what is happening.

N = No (Which won't do)

What he considers to be risk or abnormal.

Megumi is for healthy sex and will not settle for BDSM, role-playing or sadomasochistic procedures. Especially complete submission. It does not arouse and does not cause orgasm from the word at all. He believes that such an idiotic variety was invented by mentally ill people, after whom everything is repeated for the reason of "fashion", public manipulation and self-hypnosis. In addition, in order to decide on such an idea, you either need to be a crazy psychopath, or stop respecting yourself. At least Megumi thinks so and has no doubts about it.

O = Oral (Likes to receive or to give)

In this regard, Fushiguro tries to maintain balance.

Yes, he likes to hear your drawn-out muffled moans. I like how you all wriggle under it and beg you not to stop. I like the way you cum. But it is no less exciting to see how you walk with your thin fingers along the entire length of his penis, and then clasp your lips and swallow it as deeply as possible, periodically circling the head with your dexterous tongue. Therefore, he is not inclined to prioritize. He continues to give you pleasure simply because he thinks it is right, and when he himself wants to feel pleasure, you will guess it yourself by his eyes, facial expression and swaying his hips in time with your movements.

P = Pace

As a rule, Megumi tries to do it in full force. Physical strength is still a man's trump card in love, and should not be underestimated. But it needs to be properly stimulated. Energy should not be pushed to the limit. Fushiguro was used to stretching his orgasm, speeding up and then stopping for ten seconds. Then the surge of feelings becomes even stronger. Too much speed will immediately lead to overwork, and the orgasm becomes smooth and short. It's too predictable. Of course, the guy is not a fan of variety, but that does not mean that you absolutely cannot pamper yourself, right?

Q = Quickie

Average. The most common.

And what else do you need? High speed does not allow you to feel the process properly, and low speed dampens all excitement and quickly gets bored. Medium is perfect for both of you.

R = Risk (Ready to experiment)

Not ready.

You shouldn't force him to try new sensations. This will cause him discomfort or even anxiety, which will not lead to the best outcome. Once you talked to him about this, at the end he said that he didn’t like it and asked him not to bother with this topic anymore, since even the thought of it introduces him into slight stress. Not because of the experiments themselves, but the very fact of their fear. He is currently struggling with this because he wants to be completely perfect for you. However, it is unacceptable for him that it is easy for him to control the process, but it is so difficult to start experimenting in terms of sexual relations. He will definitely deal with it. Not right away, but it will cope.

S = Stamina (Stamina)

Pretty decent

Getting pleasure is enough for both of you, so you have the strength to wash in the shower, make tea, read a book and just lie around, warming your bodies with hugs. It even happens that there is enough strength to walk along the street, restoring not only physical balance, but also emotional one. Still, a walk in the fresh air with conversations on various topics does not let you forget that your love is real and is not a farce for sexual gratification.

T = Toys

It treats all their varieties badly.

Another trinket invented by the unbalanced and sexually addicted. You both have enough and an ordinary hookup without stupid "decorations".

* In fact, once the thought flew through his head about how you would react if he shoved a vibrator into your vagina as close to your clitoris as possible. And how he later, in all seriousness, assured himself that he would not offer you such a thing for anything. Recalls a magazine article about sexual fantasies among teenagers at thirteen. As a result, having mentally slapped myself in the face, I never thought about it again.

U = Unfair (Does he like to tease)

Yes!

He doesn't like to admit it, but oh my god, how your pleading and sobbing drives him crazy. At such moments, he seems to be in seventh heaven. He would like to listen to them, but then all the pleasure from the upcoming orgasm will disappear. He wants to satisfy his desire as soon as possible, but he really doesn’t want your sweet voice to stop at such seconds ... And when you finally finish, everything inside him contracts. Because now you shout his name instead of muffled moans. It feels like he is special to you. Yes, only he can make you make a mess in your body, which was just so obedient. Only with him can you finally plunge you into ecstasy.

V = Volume (How loud is it)

At first, he is silent, as if swallowed his tongue. But by the middle it already starts to grow. But if you only knew how uncontrollable he is in the end ... although, why am I crucifying here? Of course you know.

At this time, along with orgasm, he realizes how fucking he is. So inside him begins a feverish flow of internal current, and at the same time a fire flares up in his heart, turning into a high.

W = Wild card (Random headcanon)

When you first slept, the spontaneous thought came to you to look into his phone. Nothing criminal, you just wanted to make sure you were the first.

Waking up first and looking at the phone, which surprisingly had no password, you checked the list of contacts that were not embellished in some way, and in general there were not as many of them as you expected. But you, apparently, so much enjoyed digging into his personal life, feeling like a real Sherlock, that you decided to look at Google. There already began something from which you simply could not help but emit an unrestrained laugh: more than ten tabs related to sexual relations, the structure of the vagina, the consequences of the "first time", precautions for intercourse and a bunch of other things. You could hardly restrain your laughter so as not to wake up your loved one, who apparently became a real Alpha and a sex guru in just one evening.

It's been a long time since that moment, but you still haven't admitted to him that you then got into his phone.

X = X-ray (What's under the clothes)

14.5 cm during erection ± 1

Y = Yearning (How high is the sex drive)

Megumi cannot be called “lonely-touchy-with-a-broken-heart”, but “addict” is certainly not about him. This is an unexpected manifestation of desire when he himself begins to kiss your neck, in the hope of showing your initiative. Usually you make love at your request or at a noticeable hint. Fucking you in bed, he is not looking for any benefit for it and is not chasing cheap bonuses. He thinks that he is simply satisfying his sexual need, and does not go further so that you, too, do not get hung up on sex as an important part of your life.

4/10

Z = Zzz (How quickly falls asleep)

Quickly, if you are not trying to distract him with conversations (you are not always sure that you did everything right and completely satisfied him).

If you want to annoy him with requests, for example, if you are cold and you tell him about it, he will immediately cover you with a blanket. But you are more cunning and you do not need a blanket at all, but his strong arms.

— Mmm... and I wanted to warm myself in your arms...

Then Fushiguro will roll his eyes, sigh loudly and hug you from behind.

— I want you to kiss the top of my head! — you will rather smile when he reluctantly, but still will do it.

— Will you sing me a lullaby? - then the guy will understand that further you are just making fun of him.

— Maybe you still dance?

— What a good idea! Stand by that closet.

— Sleep, princess.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*

#jjk imagines #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jjk #jjk megumi #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #alphabet

104 notes · View notes

random-mha-thoughts · 5 years ago

Text

Cuddles (Bakugou x Reader)

Pairing: Bakugou x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Bakugou comes home after a long, tiring week of being a hero and you’re not paying him enough attention, so he’ll just have to take it.

Word count: 1,223

Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog @bunnythepipsqueak

a/n: A touch starved Baku is a dangerous Baku indeed. Just a little Baku fluff I wanted to write because my BioChem exam ruined me today. I used the “you” pronoun again here because I wanted to keep this gender neutral. Enjoy~

Bakugou had a really difficult day, to say the least. Actually, it was more like a trying week, if he really wanted to stretch it.

He loves being a Hero, it's been his dream since he was a young boy, but work was getting tiring. This week, there's been more gang activity in Hosu City and he's had to work with the police force to help solve it. The criminals had been expertly covering their tracks and leading the force down false positives leading to traps. It frustrated Bakugou, infuriating him to the point where he wanted to just show up at all their possible strike locations and burn the entire place down.

But that wouldn't be very hero-like now, would it? Kirishima's teasing remark still sticks in his head like an annoying record. He found himself cursing his crazy-haired best friend multiple times a day.

Every night the entire week, Bakugou came home exhausted and sometimes hours late just to stay for the police debriefs. In all honesty, they weren't helping the problem and he wished they would leave it to him and the other heroes. At least he wouldn't have to come home to a dark house. By the time he returns, his precious teddy bear is all wrapped up in bed, the space empty and waiting for Bakugou to take it. Being a good boyfriend, Bakugou doesn't want to bother you out of your sleep, so he ends up staying on the other side of the bed. And he wakes up before you wake up.

It's the most frustrating thing in the world. How is he supposed to shower you in all his love if he doesn't have a chance to talk to you all day?

Finally, the end of the week rolls around, and - by no surprise at all - Bakugou and his team managed to round up the gang of villains by themselves, the police just an accessory to the whole thing. It took all Bakugou had - and a few sidekicks holding him back and correcting everything he wanted to spit at them - not to completely go off on all of them. Instead, he assigned all the necessary paperwork to some other person in the agency that was nearest to him and sprinted back home.

You were shocked to see him home so early. It wasn't normal for him to work on the weekend anyway, but you figured he had gone out just like a regular day and wasn't expecting him home at all. Not being able to see your favorite explosion boy all week disappointed you too, to say the least. You tried text him messages in the middle of the day to keep in contact with him, but nothing is better than the real thing.

Bakugou flops onto the couch with a heavy sigh. "God, it's amazing to be home so early." He stretches out all the aching muscles he never knew were so tight after the entire fiasco this week.

"I'm really glad you're finally home again, babe," you turn around to smile at him before focusing your attention back on the cutting board. While Bakugou was showering, you thought it would be a great idea to cook a meal the two of you can finally enjoy together, and then cuddle for the rest of the night watching a movie.

Bakugou, on the other hand, doesn't want to wait until much later to cuddle you. He wants cuddles and he wants them now. But he won't ever come out and say that explicitly, being the stubborn boy he is.

Rolling over onto his side, he stares at you across the room in the kitchen, your back to him as you prepare your meal. "Babe, what are you making?" he calls.

"Fajita, you want it spicy, right?"

"Yeah." He's upset that you haven't looked in his direction for very long since he got home. "What were you doing before I got back?"

"Nothing, just watching TV."

Bakugou feels fidgety just waiting for you to come back. He gets up and stands at a distance, leaning against the counter behind you. He notices that your knife skills have gotten better, thanks to him teaching you in your earlier dating phase. His eyes follow your figure as you run around the kitchen space, getting spices out from the cabinets and other bowls to mix the food in.

It annoys him. Any other day, he would look on at you cooking with pride knowing that you learned with his help. But today, he's exhausted, annoyed, and he just wants to cuddle for god's sake.

You pass by him, scanning him up and down. The furrow of his brows and the clenched fists in the way his arms cross over his chest shows how tense he looks. "Do you wanna help me, babe?"

"No," Bakugou answers a bit too roughly.

You brush it off with a shrug, thinking he's just had a long week and he still has residual anger and returning your attention back to the cooking. The chicken is marinating in the blend of spices and all the bell peppers and onions are sliced. All that's left to do is cook everything together.

Just as you place the large skillet on the stove, your legs are off the ground. Bakugou's arms tightly wrap around your torso as he carries you out of the kitchen. "Katsuki, what about dinner?"

"Screw dinner, I'm not hungry for food," he growls next to your ear. "I'm hungry for something else."

Your body is thrown onto the couch with a yelp. The spiky haired boy hovers over you, crimson eyes boring into yours for a moment. The intensity stops your breath, making you slightly fear what will come next.

"You haven't paid any attention to me since I came home," he mumbles, laying himself on top of you, his head on your chest and his arm circling on top of your body. "All I wanted was to be next to you."

Softening at his behavior, your fingers naturally thread into his soft hair tickling your face. "Why didn't you just say so?"

"Do I have to say it?" he snaps, "I haven't even touched you all week, I missed you like crazy."

"Okay, no need to be grouchy, little Pomeranian," you kiss the top of his head, "You've got me right here next to you now."

Bakugou's head nestles right onto your steady heartbeat, playing with the fingers of your free hand on your stomach. "I'm sorry I haven't been home. I had this stupid case to take care of all week and the police were useless."

You give him a knowing look. "Do you really want to talk about work right now?"

He pauses. "You're right, I don't. As long as you're here, I'm not a hero anymore, I'm just plain old Katsuki Bakugou." He kisses the palm of your hand. "And you're my teddy bear who I love coming home to every day."

"And you're my lovable, impatient explosion boy."

He snuggles his head closer into your chest, closing his eyes. "Do you mind if I take a nap on you?"

Stroking his head, you answer quietly, "Only for a little while, I'm hungry."

"And don't wake me up," he opens an eye to shoot a pointed look at me.

"Yeah, okay."

#Bakugou x reader #bakugou fluff #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugou katsuki #mha #bnha #gender neutral reader #bakugou imagine #bakugou scenario #mha bakugou #bnha bakugou #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #mha x reader #bnha x reader

2K notes · View notes

byunbaekby · 4 years ago

Text

title — a chaotic christmas pairing — doyoung x male reader genres — angst, fluff, soulmate au, christmas! warnings — language word count — 3.5k summary — you’ve finally come to terms with the fact that you have a crush on your friend, doyoung. but something throws a wrench in your plans, and all of a sudden nothing is going right anymore. additional — this is a very late and very belated fic release gift for my favorite doyoung simp @puppywritings. it’s me! i’m your secret santa and i come bearing gifts of soulmate!doyoung. when i saw that i had gotten you, i was so excited to write for you and our favorite boy! i’m sorry that i released this so late, but it’s here now. you requested a mix of angst and fluff, plus chaos and “everything would be solved if they just talked to each other.” hope you like it! may 2021 bring blessings and more doyoung content for you, love.

“So, you like Doyoung.”

Ten’s bold statement causes you to choke, spitting out the hot cocoa you’re currently consuming. Heat covers your throat, but your coughing interrupts the sweetness of the chocolate. In your fit of coughs, Ten doesn’t even laugh.

When you finally come to, you sputter. “What—What makes you say that?” Now, your friend laughs, but it’s a dry chuckle that leaves his lips as if he’s laughing at you. “I don’t—” You cough again. “—like Doyoung. I mean, he’s nice, and tall, and funny—especially when he’s making fun of you, but, no! Well, I like him as a friend, I mean.”

The look on your friend’s face is not at all convinced. “Sure…”

You lean forward. Clearly your act is done and the curtains are closed. Now, your voice suddenly dips lower into a whisper, as if anyone in the mall food court would be listening to you. “How did you know?”

Ten scoffs. “Sweetheart, everyone knows. Everyone except you and Doyoung, apparently.” A groan leaves your lips as you sit back in the seat, placing your cup of hot cocoa onto the table with a disgruntled expression. “Why don’t you tell him?”

“We’re not soulmates, and everyone deserves to be with their soulmate,” you answer, eyes sad as you play with your cup mindlessly. Ten shoots you a pointed look before saying, “Not everyone has to be with their soulmate, Y/N. You know that.”

It’s true. Everyone is born with a soulmate, whom they must find because they share a tattoo somewhere on their body. Though the world loves to push soulmates together, it’s become commonplace for people not to pursue their relationships with the ones the universe had deemed them perfect for. Sometimes those relationships don’t work out, or people are unhappy with who they have. In any case, it’s fairly common for people to choose their own relationships. But, that’s not the case with your friend group. Though it had been just you, Doyoung, Ten, and Kun since the beginning of university, the group had been expanded when the latter two introduced their soulmates into the friend group.

“Easy for you to say, you have Johnny,” you scoff, crossing your arms across your chest. “And Kun has Seunghee. You guys are the perfect couples, and I don’t want to mess up what Doyoung and I have because we tried to date but weren’t soulmates.” Your voice is sullen as you shake your head, as though the action could dispel any lingering thoughts and romantic feelings you had for your friend Doyoung.

“Listen,” says Ten, voice suddenly serious. “He likes you too.”

“Don’t give me false hope.”

“I’m not!”

The look you give him is enough to make him do a double take. “Did you ask him, or hear it directly from him?”

“... No.”

His answer brings about a roll of your eyes. “Then you don’t know that he likes me back.”

“It’s obvious! Just like how your feelings are obvious,” he exclaims, downing the rest of his coffee down his throat (along with a shake of your head). When you ask why he cares so much, he sighs. “Because it’s so goddamn frustrating! You guys have known each other for years now, and you’ve been tiptoeing around each other for so long, it’s so annoying.” His hand comes out to rub his forehead, as if your mutual (?) pining with Doyoung could bring about physical pain.

It’s true that you’ve hidden your feelings for Doyoung for a while now… When the four of you met at your university’s freshman orientation, you and Doyoung had instantly clicked. Of course, you were all close but it seemed that you and Doyoung always had an especially close bond. You do like him; he’s intelligent and well-spoken (and perhaps a little blunt), but his gummy smile makes your heart melt every time. You just hadn’t realized that it had been so deathly obvious to your other friends. Hopefully… Doyoung hadn’t caught on either.

Biting down on your lip, you look up from where you had been staring at the ground in thought and back to Ten across the table. “You really think he likes me?”

“I’m about 89.45% sure. I should talk to him about it.”

“No!” You suddenly exclaim, not realizing how loud your voice rose in the public food court, attracting a few eyes from nearby shoppers. “Wait—maybe… maybe you should. You can talk to him and then tell me what he says. But don’t make it obvious! Don’t tell him we talked about him.”

Ten rolls his eyes at your dramatic worry. “I’m not completely conspicuous like you are.” Then he stands, tossing his empty Starbucks paper cup into the nearby trash can. “Now hurry up, I have to get Johnny’s gift before they run out of maid’s outfits.”

Your hand meets your forehead in a facepalm.

It seems like nowadays Ten’s mission is to annoy Doyoung to the max.

“Is Johnny busy or something?” asks Doyoung through gritted teeth as Ten spins around in his desk chair. The former had been trying to study when the Thai man paid him a visit at his apartment to disturb his peace. Ten simply continues to spin in perpetual circles on Doyoung’s chair, seemingly not a care in the world.

“No,” replies Ten. “I just wanted to hang out with you, bro.”

Doyoung grimaces at his friend. “Please don’t call me that.”

“I could call you mom like I call Kun.”

“No thanks,” responds the dark haired male with a quiet chuckle as he grabs a packet of ramen from the pack atop his fridge. As Doyoung begins to pour some water into the pot on the stove, Ten suddenly stops spinning and he’s seemingly not dizzy at all, seeing as he walks forward to lean on the kitchen counter.

“So, how are you, buddy?” He suddenly asks, trying to remain casual but failing poorly. Ten’s never been the type for small talk.

Doyoung knows this, so he cocks an eyebrow over his steaming pot of ramen. “I’m doing just fine, buddy.” Ten nods in understanding, thoughtfully rubbing his chin. At this point, Doyoung has given him a clearly confused expression. “Okay, what do you want? You only show up unannounced to steal my food or complain, and you’re doing neither.”

The man in question fakes an overly dramatic gasp, hand on his chest. “How could you accuse me of something like that? I just want to catch up with my friend.”

Pouring his ramen into a bowl Doyoung rolls his eyes. “Are you here to gossip then?”

“Ask me how I am first.”

A dry laugh leaves Doyoung’s lips before he capitulates. “Fine. How are you?”

“I’m doing great, thank you for asking. You know why? Because I found out some spicy information.”

“Do share,” drawls Doyoung as he blows his ramen, though he seems not at all interested. Oh, he’ll be interested after this, thinks Ten mischievously.

“I found out that Y/N has a crush on someone.”

A sputter is heard from Doyoung’s end as he chokes on the few ramen pieces he had been slurping during his friend’s reveal. Wow, thinks Ten. The two of you are more alike than you think. After he clears his throat, he speaks, “Y/N has a crush on someone.” Ten nods proudly. Doyoung blinks, running a hand through his dark locks. “Okay, um… that’s good for him. Why are you telling me this though?”

The man in question shrugs, a mischievous grin on his lips. This is exactly how he wanted it to go. “Just thought I’d let you know. So you can prepare for having another person join the group.”

“Oh, well… I guess that leaves me as the only single person in the group, then,” says Doyoung, voice softened as he looks down at his noodles.

“Yep,” responds Ten with a tone much too cheerful for his friend’s previous tone, popping the ‘p.’ If he hadn’t been so occupied with staring thoughtfully into his food Doyoung would have noticed. Ten’s plan is working just as desired.

“Oh,” Doyoung suddenly speaks up. “I forgot to tell you. I found my soulmate.”

Oh, shit.

Ten blinks. “W-What? You met your soulmate?”

Now Doyoung rubs his nape, looking a bit sheepish. “I did…” With the slight smile that Doyoung wears on his lips, Ten can see that the man must be enamored by his new soulmate. When had he met them? How had he found out? Did he see their tattoo? Ten is seeing his plan crumbling right before his eyes.

Of all their friends, Doyoung was the most hopeless romantic. He romanticized the idea of finding his soulmate, someone who held half of his soul. He would surely much rather pursue his soulmate, but Ten hadn’t taken that into consideration. After all, he hadn’t expected Doyoung to find his soulmate right as he planned to get his two best friends together!

“Well, that’s… good, isn’t it?”

Still looking down, staring deeply into his bowl of noodles, Doyoung nods. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

Oh god, Y/N will be devastated to find out, and it’ll be all his fault.

The look on your face when he tells you is one he’d like to forget. You’ve liked Doyoung for so long, even if you had only come to terms with it a while ago. Ten knows this, and so he feels even worse for being the one to give you hope.

“Y/N, I’m s—”

“Don’t apologize,” you cut him off, wearing a cheery smile on your lips. Even from a mile away, Ten would be able to tell how fake it is. “This is good, right? I told you, he’s supposed to find his soulmate. That’s how the universe works.”

Today instead of the mall, you’re both sitting on the couch in Ten’s apartment and now you hug the couch pillow close to your chest. You look sad, and Ten almost feels pain from how defeated you look. “I’m sorry, because I gave you hope and you told me not to.”

“It’s okay,” you say, suddenly standing from your spot on the couch. Next, you give a dry laugh, but it comes out strained. “Since when did you ever listen to what I said, anyways?”

“Y/N, it’s okay to be upset.”

“I’m not,” you deny, beginning to walk out of the living room. “But I have to go get some more Christmas gifts before the mall closes. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Y/N,” he calls once more. There’s no stopping you, he knows, so he follows you instead. “It’s snowing outside. Let’s go together, at least.”

“No,” you say, giving him a small smile as you slip your shoes on. “You’re one of the people I have to get gifts for. I’ll just take a taxi or something. Bye, Ten. Thanks for… trying, I guess.” And then you leave, and he swears that as you disappear from his home and out onto the snowy cold street, he sees the ghost of pain on your face.

It’s a week of avoiding Doyoung and practically everyone when he finally calls you. Seeing his name light up on your phone makes you bite down on your lip in fear. You don’t know what it is that’s made you ignore him and the rest of your friends for a week, but… you needed time apart.

“Hello?” You ask, trying to keep your voice natural.

“Y/N,” says Doyoung on the line, and you have to physically stop yourself from sighing into his tone. His voice is dark and deep as usual, you’ve missed hearing it. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

He’s always been straight-forward, and you don’t even have time to be surprised that he’s caught you. But, you can’t tell him the truth. “I haven’t been avoiding you,” you lie. “I’ve just been… busy. Christmas shopping and stuff. Plus, it’s really cold outside, I don’t really like going outside.”

There's silence, then Doyoung sighs. “Is everything alright?”

No, not really. “Yeah,” you tell him. “Everything’s fine, I promise.”

“Is it about that person? Ten mentioned that you liked someone, and were considering telling them.” It’s you, you dimwit. You want to tell him that, but you can’t. It’ll only ruin everything he’s supposed to have with his soulmate. “You know, you can always come talk to me about it. I’m not experienced in dating, but I’ll give you all the advice I have.” His words are accompanied by a small laugh.

You can’t help but smile. That’s why you’ve always liked him so much. Despite being blunt and sometimes brutally honest, he is always there for you. “Thanks, Doyoung,” you respond gratefully. “I’ll be in touch, I promise.”

“Okay, good. I miss having you around, anyways. You left me to fifth wheel the couples,” he says, referring to your friends and their significant others.

You laugh, and it’s a happy sound albeit dampened by the reminder that you can’t like him anymore the way you do right now. “Sorry about that. I’ll be around soon.”

“Okay. Talk to you later?”

“Yeah.”

Then he hangs up, and when he does, he’s left staring at Kun’s face from across the table. “I don’t know what to do,” he admits to his friend.

“What the hell did you do, Ten?” Kun says as he bursts into Ten’s apartment, having just finished meeting Doyoung at the coffee shop. The man in question is sitting on his couch watching a movie when he looks up at the sudden appearance of his friend. “How can you be sitting on the couch when your friends’ friendships are falling apart?”

Ten’s eyes widen. “You mean Doyoung and Y/N?” The Thai man suddenly jumps up to his feet, knocking over his bowl of popcorn. “I don’t know what I did! I was just trying to get them together and then everything went to shit!”

He runs his hands through his hair, making it run crazy. Even without the appearance of Kun to scold him, he’s clearly been torn up by the situation as well.

“Just… tell me what you did,” says Kun calmly, for he had always been the calm and level-headed mediator.

“Okay.” Ten takes a deep breath, recalling all of the events of the past few weeks. “Y/N told me that he liked Doyoung.” At Kun’s pointed look he retracts his words. “Okay, I tricked him into confessing it to me, but that’s beside the point! Then, he asked me to talk to Doyoung about it and find out if Doyoung liked him too. But then Doyoung told me that he found his soulmate! And when I told Y/N he got really sad and upset about it, and now he’s been ignoring me for a week!”

“Y/N is Doyoung’s soulmate, you daft twit!”

Ten stops in his tracks, eyes wide. “Wait—what did you just say?”

“I just met with Doyoung, and he told me that Y/N is his soulmate. He said he didn’t tell anyone because you told him that Y/N likes someone else, when we all know that Y/N has been heart-eyes for Doyoung since the beginning of time!” Kun exclaims at him, rubbing the space between his eyes where a headache has formed when he finishes.

Ten simply stands there in the mess of popcorn and couch pillows, blinking with his crazed hair. “Oh god, I’ve created a shit show.”

“Everything would be solved if they just talked to each other,” whines Kun as he collapses onto the couch. Ten follows beside him, simply staring into the space before sighing. “We have to fix this.”

Then suddenly, as though possessed by a strange energy, Ten asks, “Why did Doyoung tell you and not me?”

“He was asking me for advice. And obviously he wouldn’t tell you, look at the mess you made!”

Your fingers are freezing as you type out a text to Kun on your phone. He had asked you to meet up with him at the cafe you often frequented in the town square to catch up over hot chocolate, and despite the fact that you had been ignoring your friends for quite a while, you figured… you’ll have to face them eventually. The only problem is… he’s late.

The snow crackles beneath your shoes as you rock back and forth on the balls of your feet outside the cafe. Kun isn’t one to be late, always favoring punctuality, so you’re perplexed. But it’s only his first time being late, so you’ll go easy on him.

“God,” you sigh. Tapping your hands on your cheeks, where the cold has begun to steal your sensation of feeling from them, you look around again. “Where is he?”

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

You turn to find the owner of the voice, but it’s not Kun. A breath leaves your lips, seen in the air. “Doyoung? What are you doing here?”

“You’ve been ignoring me,” he says, straight-forward as always. Though you haven’t seen him in a short while, he still takes your breath away upon first glance. He’s dressed today in a black coat atop a black turtleneck, and you see even the bulb of his nose has become reddened from the cold. Now there’s really no avoiding the situation. “I figured you wouldn’t respond if I asked, so I had Kun set it up.”

He’s caught you in the act. “I…” You don’t know what to say. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” He asks, hands tucked into his pockets. The way his eyebrows furrow into his forehead make him look even more hurt beyond understanding, and you feel horrible.

You can’t tell him… It will ruin everything he’s supposed to have with his soulmate. You’re sure by now, that he must have already had time to spend in the presence of his soulmate, learning their ins and outs to savor for the rest of their lives together. But even against your common sense… it comes out.

“I like you.”

Doyoung’s lips fall open just the slightest, but you continue. “I like you, God, I like you so much. But Ten told me that you found your soulmate, and I didn’t want to ruin anything. I know that soulmates are just stupid excuses for the universe’s matchmaking, but even so, you should be with your soulmate… Doyoung, I like you so much, and knowing that I couldn’t have you just hurt even more. I know, it was selfish of me to ignore you but I just… can’t look at you and accept that.” You sigh. “It doesn’t matter anyways. I… I’m sorry.”

You begin to turn away, figuring you’ve all but ruined your friendship with your favorite person, but a force tugging on your hand causes you to stop. Doyoung has wrapped his nimble fingers around the circumference of your wrist, and he speaks firmly:

“You are my soulmate.”

You stop in your tracks. Eyes wide, you turn back to him. “What did you just say?”

The eyes that he looks at you with are warm, like a blazing crimson fire in the cold night of winter. “You’re my soulmate. And if you were hurt thinking I found my soulmate, imagine how I felt being ignored by my soulmate.”

“How do you know?” You ask. You’ve been friends with Doyoung for years; there’s no way this information of him being your soulmate has evaded you this long. “How do I know you’re not lying?”

“Do you remember that night, a few weeks ago? When we got caught in the rain walking back from the library, and ran into my apartment? I gave you a shirt so you could change, and then I saw it.”

Your soulmate tattoo.

“A rabbit, on the side of your torso.”

Your tattoo (which had been the source of your embarrassment for many years) had never been seen by any of your friends before. Now, it’s your time to be surprised, lips falling open. Despite the cold, you feel heat rise in your body and your heartbeat begins to quicken.

“You’re…” You start, but find yourself speechless. He finishes for you, a sweet smile on his lips.

“Your soulmate.” He takes your hand in his. “And you’re mine.”

“Oh my god,” you sigh, free hand coming to meet your forehead in a facepalm. “I’ve been such a shitty person the past few weeks, I’m so sorry. You’re… You’re really my soulmate.”

“Yeah, I am.” He smiles, gums showing proudly as you finally let him in. Now, he holds up a finger. “And I’ll forgive you for ignoring me, on one condition.”

“What is it?”

“Go into this cafe with me, let me buy you hot chocolate, and tell me everything about my soulmate.”

A laugh leaves your lips, delighted and emotional as you nod. “We’ve been friends for years, you already know everything about me.” He begins to pull you by the hand into the cafe, the ringing bell of the door sounding familiar to his laugh.

“Well, tell me again. I’d love to hear it.”

#neowritingsnet #nct-writers #doyoung fluff #doyoung angst #doyoung fanfic #doyoung drabbles #doyoung scenarios #doyoung #nct fluff #nct angst #nct drabbles #nct 127 fluff

102 notes · View notes

thoughtfulstudentsalad · 4 years ago

Text

AnY Chapter 204 Review

It was a good chapter, although politically, it disappointed me.

There have been debates among readers about whether or not Su-Won was in character. The way he compartmentalized everything (but now slowly failing to do so) was, but I don't know about how hastily he jumped to kill Mei-nyan. Honestly a very Su-Won thing to do would rather be to pretend to accept her offer, use her knowledge to win the war, then kill her after. Did the thought of taking her hostage NOT occur to him? What happened to the king who seeks to minimize sacrifices? Who strategizes the most efficient path?

This time, it seems he had no patience for that because she went into a tirade about Hiryuu being great. As Soo-Won believes that blood-relation doesn't just entitle you to anything (as expected, he killed his own uncle), the fact that this applied to Mei may have played into Soo-Won's resentment to think it was better if she was killed, as she seemed no different from Il.

Evil Twins mistranslated this, but Su-Won does NOT say that he got ill after ascending the throne - Mei-Nyan tells him he “should be aware of the existence of King Hiryuu” which triggers the headache and flashback of Il that we’ve seen 5 times now. Phew, does this traumatize him.

Now we have actually seen such a similar expression before! On his mother!

“The beautiful hair caused Yon-Hi to remember the existence of King Hiryuu”

Does the pain get stronger the more aware the descendants are of King Hiryuu? A legitimate question of what causes the illness to sprout.

Su-Won’s response in return, “I’m so fed up with it (the pain)” shows he is at his wits end now because this woman triggered yet another headache because she made him think of King Hiryuu.

He says his thoughts aloud, clearly for the first time, “I wonder why the reincarnation of King Hiryuu and the dragons were born.”

Hearing the outright rejection of King Hiryuu, Yona is petrified.

And it’s interesting, because she has never heard this direct attack on who she is until this point. We as readers have seen Su-Won reject God, so, SO many times to count. This is the first time Yona sees it in the present. This is the first time she also sees it directed straight at her.

Because it’s pretty much Su-Won wishing Yona was never born, right?

Until the betrayal, they had a genuine friendship, and even then Su-Won clearly still cared about her, so surely Yona had never imagined that Su-Won would ever say something like this, that it would be nice if she were never born. It is quite jarring. Were the years they spent all a lie, then?

Moving on, we then see Mei-nyan understanding that negotiations have collapsed. She begins to freak out, and when Hyoo-ri appears, she bolts.

I must say, for supposedly a strategist, Mei-nyan was pretty naive and reckless. It appears that the others were prepared to kill her prior to this meeting, but she comes thinking her talk would succeed. She doesn't even think of a back-up plan in the case the king doesn't agree.

She doesn't even tell Su-Won that she was previously a general. We all know, being a general is 100x more valuable to him then being a descendant or a concubine with false intel, any day.

I can argue that the negotiations might have not failed if she'd not talked about Hiryuu and instead about being a general or how shitty Kai treated her and how she actually is loyal to Kouka. She is reckless, that one! How did she ever become a general with such a personality?!?! People like her certainly don’t live long.

Luckily, Jae-ha appears to save the day. And I actually really like this scene, because... Mei-Nyan is clearly affected by how the same dragon who vowed to protect Yona and did not let Mei-Nyan hit her, is NOW protecting her.

This is what she always wanted, and she is shooooook. Look at her pained eyebrows. I feel for Mei-nyan here. Also Jae-ha, ouch.

Yona runs to save the day with her merciful nature, as she always seems to do. Kye-Sook, who finds it a “quaint” quality like her late father, asks her to stand down. (most hilarious line)

Then Yona asks Su-Won for his opinion, but Su-Won, who was already in annoyed mode, is now directing it towards Yona, who has come running to interfere. He is fed up thinking about it and does not want to deal with her.

Yona still does not back down. “Turn over here! Even if you don’t need me, even if you’re fed up, look me in the eye and talk!”

Very strong words. Until this I have never seen Yona be so direct with Su-Won, even if she harbored hatred, even if she was very calm. And this probably is because she felt rather hurt by Su-Won’s words. Understandable.

Next we see Su-Won explode: “I already said, this doesn’t concern you!”

OKAY we get it Su-Won, calm the F down.

Yeeeeeesh, this rude spitting viper is the same guy who was only gentle and kind with his younger cousin??????

let’s be honest if Hak saw Su-Won shouting at Yona he would wreck him 100x harder than he already wanted to

.....Perhaps we should just accept that familial ties don’t matter to this dude, especially if you’re a King Hiryuu reincarnation telepathically blowing his brains out because he doesn’t pay you enough attention. Can you blame him?

His line is rather ambiguous though. Does he mean it like, “stop being a fucking nuisance, I’m the king right now, this concerns me not you”

OR is it like, “this conflict I have with King Hiryuu doesn’t concern you, you are Yona!” Maybe he doesn’t want Yona to feel bad about being born like his mother did?

Maybe he is struggling with both meanings. Who knows.

Now, after that Yona attempts to make him see past the entire conflict with Mei-nyan’s interest in Hiryuu and the dragons AND the fact that she has knowledge of the secret.

And I can see Yona's point. Yon-Hi's existential crisis, seeing a red haired girl "steal" what belonged to her clan, is similar to Mei-nyan's.

It makes sense. Why should he be so quick to kill her? She has clearly suffered herself.

It seems like Su-Won wasn't thinking straight and realized later that he isn't just his father's son, but also his mother's, because now, he lightens her fate to imprisonment. Yes, imprisonment. Letting this woman go is obviously not the right idea either, especially after they acted so hostile to her, no guarantee that she still wants to negotiate.

The big mistake though, is that everyone from Kouka, even Yona, underestimated Mei. None of them know that she could easily break out of jail if she wished. Even while in pain from the Crimson illness, she’s able to wound (possibly kill!) these soldiers.

....Except our favorite MC Hak, doing 6000+ sit-ups like it’s nothing, is about to know!!!!!!

I think Hak will the one to learn this first, and I actually think they could form some alliance based on being ex-generals. This girl will fill Hak in on wtf the Crimson illness is, and we might finally see Hak’s reaction -- OH SHIT, Su-Won actually hates something??? Maybe Hak’s beloved Princess is more involved with that than he’d like.

I don't think they will go a love triangle of Hak-Mei-Yona route, at least I really hope not, because Hak is loyal af and that does not need to change one bit. At most it'd be funny to see Yona get slightly jealous but honestly I'm not sure if that's necessary either.

Anyway! I would have preferred Mei-nyan stayed an antagonist rather than yet another talk-no-jutsu ally of Yona’s. But okay. We’ll see where this goes, along with the reasons Hiryuu even came down to Earth to start with.

(On a side note, Zeno was great this chapter, wasn’t he? I missed hearing his words of wisdom)

#akatsuki no yona #yona #hak #su-won #meinyan #jaeha #yona of the dawn

55 notes · View notes

zaph1337 · 4 years ago

Text

Monster Hunter Rating 21: Khezu, the Blank Stare

When I reviewed Basarios, I made a joke about how the devs likely gave it human teeth over sharp teeth because the latter might not give children nightmares, but I don’t actually think that the devs ever intended Basarios to be more terrifying than any other monster in the game. This monster, however, is literally the stuff of nightmares, and I’m not misusing “literally” here. This may be the longest review I’ve written yet, so buckle up. Time to get spooky with Khezu!

(How it appears in Monster Hunter 1)

(How it appears in Monster Hunter Rise)

Appearance: I think there’s been a mistake here; last I checked, Capcom wasn’t making Silent Hill games. Seriously, this thing would fit right into that series, and not just ‘cause its phallic neck lends itself well to metaphors. The pale, veiny skin, the leech-like mouth, the complete lack of eyes...Khezu’s unlike any other monster in the series because it’s the only monster that’s meant to be horrifying to look at. It’s got flabby, tattered wings and gecko-like feet, but its main characteristic (other than the head) is its tail, the tip of which can open up into a suction cup that allows Khezu to stick to ceilings.

Obviously, Khezu’s an abomination that came from a really dark place in someone’s mind, but that’s just it: Khezu is a monster that appeared in an MH developer’s nightmare either before or during the production of the first Monster Hunter game, and said developer (I don’t actually remember who) decided to put it in the game. I learned of this from the Twitch streams of a streamer called DuncanCan’tDie, who’s a huge MH fan that’s on great terms with Capcom. Unfortunately, I can’t find any other sources for this claim, but I don’t think he’s lying for a few reasons; firstly, like I said, he’s on great terms with Capcom. He’s friends with some people who work there, and he even has a tattoo designed by someone on the MH team he called “Kaname-san” (who didn’t actually give him the tattoo, but drew the design that a tattoo artist used) and the only person who could go by that name is Kaname Fujioka, the man who literally directed several MH games, including the first one, and who was the art director for Monster Hunter World. So yeah. Duncan and Capcom get along great, and if he was spreading false rumors, they’d probably know about it.

The second reason I believe Duncan about Khezu’s origin is that someone once came into one of his streams (and I was there at the time) and started spouting “lore” about two monsters that looked like they could be related, but actually weren’t. Duncan flat out told this person that what they were claiming wasn’t mentioned anywhere and asked for sources...which the loregiver did not provide. In fact, after Duncan started getting on their case, I don’t think they said a word for the rest of the stream. Duncan believes that this person was just making stuff up to sound like they knew a lot about MH and weren’t aware that he was an MH expert, and I doubt that someone who would call someone out on that would do the same thing, especially if he had a reputation to uphold.

I apologize if I spent a lot of time talking about that, but I didn’t want people getting on my case because they couldn’t find anything to support my claims. But in conclusion, I believe that Khezu truly was born of a nightmare, and that’s awesome. It makes the Silent Hill comparison even more fitting since the enemies in those games are basically projections of the protagonists’ psyches. Disturbing enemies are much more effective if they scare(d) the people who created them, and Khezu is certainly disturbing. Because of that, as well as its ominous origin, I’m giving it a 9/10.

Behavior: Khezu mostly inhabit caves, jungles, and swamps due to the need for their skin to be moisturized, though they usually only leave caves to hunt, which they don’t have to do very often due to the plentiful fat beneath their skin, which also keeps them warm. Their favorite hunting strategy is to ambush their prey from a location usually concealed by darkness, which is made easier by their extendable necks. However, their reliance on darkness, as well as their preference to dwell in caves, has made them completely blind and reliant on their other senses; despite not having visible nostrils or ears, Khezu have great hearing and a very good sense of smell. Back to hunting, while they need to subdue larger prey, smaller ones, like Kelbi, are slowly swallowed whole...which is apparently something you can actually witness in the games, according to TV Tropes (I normally stick to the wiki and what I already know for resources, but I went to the “Monster Hunter / Nightmare Fuel” page while searching for another source for Khezu’s origin as a nightmare). As if this thing needed to be more disturbing, it doesn’t always kill its prey before it tries to swallow it, so the Kelbi you can see it eat is constantly struggling as the Khezu swallows it bottom-first. That’s...that’s messed up. But it gets worse.

Practically every monster in this series isn’t any more intelligent than what we consider a normal animal to be. Aside from Lynians, which are people, the smartest monster I’ve talked about is the Velociprey, which might not be as smart as, say, an irl crow, which is very intelligent by the standards of nonhuman animals. What I’m getting at here is that most of the monsters in this series don’t really take any sadistic pleasure in killing and eating prey; they just do it to survive. But Khezu is different. In several MH games, including Rise, the first time you go on a quest to kill a specific monster, the gameplay is preceded by a cutscene that shows off how powerful or intimidating that monster is (and in Rise’s case, you also get a poem). Here’s Khezu’s intro, and I want you to pay attention to what Khezu does from 0:24-0:30:

youtube

That’s right: this thing “looked” right at the monster it was going to eat, and smiled. That isn’t just me anthropomorphizing it, either; I’ve seen what Khezu looks like outside of that cutscene, and even with its mouth closed it has a neutral expression, so it smiling actually means something, and considering the context, it’s obvious what the devs wanted us to take from it: Khezu likes killing. It enjoyed the prospect of swallowing that monster whole while it was still alive and struggling, which means that this is the first monster I’ve talked about that we can definitively say is evil rather than just an animal. Rather fitting for a living nightmare, I would say. And if you thought all that was disturbing, I have some...unfortunate news. I hope you aren’t eating anything right now, ‘cause this next part is just gross.

Y’know how some wasps lay their eggs inside other bugs so the eggs have incubation they can eat when they hatch? Well, uh...Khezu do that, too. And they’re hermaphrodites that, from what I can gather, don’t need to mate, so any adult Khezu is capable of injecting another monster with its “whelps” (not saying that Khezu are always “pregnant,” just saying that any of them can be). And you know the really crazy part? After everything I said about Khezu, there are still people in the MH world that tame them and keep them as pets. Why would you want to have a slimy, flabby, sadistic, parasitoid, 14-to-40-foot abomination as a pet!? God, people are so freaking weird.

EDIT (05/07/2021): My older brother reminded me that I forgot about one of the odder aspects of Khezu; when you enter a fight with a Main Monster, its battle theme plays (don’t know if every monster has a unique theme, but several do, to my knowledge), but Khezu has no theme to speak of. I don’t know if this is true in every game, or even if it was intentional at first, but it’s still both funny and eerie at the same time. There’s no background music until you get in a fight, so if you somehow tick off a Khezu without seeing it, then it can sneak up on you. “But Zaph, the moment a monster enters ‘fight mode,’ it roars! So the Khezu will give away its position!” See, you’d be right about that if it wasn’t for the fact that, according to TV Tropes at least, Khezu’s roar sounds just like wind--howling wind, yes, but wind all the same. I don’t know if there’s any howling wind SFX in the areas where Khezu live, so for all I know you’ll still be able to identify it in a hurry, but just imagine what that’s like in-universe! Imagine that you’re walking around in the Frost Islands or something and hear a chilling wind from out of nowhere. Unless you’re an experienced hunter, you’d likely have no idea if that was a Khezu or not, so you wouldn’t know if it’s too late to run or not, or even if you should run at all. Going back out of universe, the details I just described are very nice touches to a monster that was already horrifying in behavior, so I’m bumping the score here up from the 7 I initially gave it to 8/10.

Abilities: All of the “Flying Wyverns” I’ve talked about so far have had a lot of trouble with the whole “flying” part, and Khezu are no exception; they’re better at it than Diablos and Gravios, but they still need to flap really frantically to stay in the air. They’re great at jumping, though, and their gecko-like feet allow them to scale walls and stick to ceilings, something that their tails also allow them to do. Khezu are Thunder-element monsters capable of discharging electricity in a manner of ways, including shooting balls of it from their mouths and emitting it all around their bodies. Since Khezu like to spend time around water, their attacks are even more dangerous, as everything near them will likely be wet and therefore more conductive. This also applies to Khezu themselves, which may be why they stick their tails onto the ground before discharging electricity; they ground themselves so that they don’t shock themselves. Finally, Khezu saliva is very dangerous; we don’t know if it’s electric or acidic, but anything that gives off smoke when it touches something probably isn’t good for your health, which is why owning a pet Khezu is so dangerous; their drool can literally kill you. 7/10.

Equipment: Most Khezu weapons are as interesting as you’d expect them to be, considering the monster they’re made from. Most of them have a horror aesthetic, like this Great Sword called the Khezu Shock Sword:

I just noticed that the skin is actually stretched over the blade, rather than being what the blade’s attached to. Gross, but I never expected Khezu weapons to look pretty. There are also weapons which emphasize the monster’s electric aspect, like this Gunlance called the Full Voltage:

It still has Silent Hill vibes due to its “rusty hospital” aesthetic, and looking at it long enough reveals little details it inherited from Khezu. Speaking of hospitals, there are a couple of weapons based off of syringes, such as the Khezu Syringe, which is a Light Bowgun, and a Lance from MHFG that’s literally a giant hypodermic needle, but I didn’t want to show those off in case they triggered anyone with needle phobia. The last weapon I’m gonna show will be very familiar to those of us who’ve played the Rise demo a lot: the Insect Glaive known as the Bolt Chamber!

I like the green tube running from the sac between the blade and the shaft of the glaive; according to the Bolt Chamber’s in-game description, it uses that “pulsating device” to steal energy from its targets. If you mentioned that to me before I grabbed its image for this review, I probably would have asked how it did that. If you then pointed out the mouth at the glaive’s end, I would have thanked you for cursing me with the knowledge of its existence. Seriously, I’ve used this thing probably more than 20 times, and until I saw this render, I never noticed that. As for the armor, here’s the Blademaster Khezu Armor from MHGU:

The male armor here is almost identical to the one from Rise--which sadly doesn’t have any pictures on the wiki yet--and yes, it does look like the main character from Assassin’s Creed. The female armor, on the other hand, looks almost like a nurse’s outfit, especially with that metal thing on the woman’s head with the cross. The more I look at this equipment, the more I feel like they wanted people to think of Silent Hill, and if so, that’s pretty cool. I’ve got another armor set to show you; the Gunner version of the Khezu R Armor from MHGU:

Jesus, is this an armor set or a medical emergency? I can’t imagine bandages are very effective at protecting your body from physical damage, but thankfully it looks like most of them are just covering actual armor...meaning that the people who designed this stuff in-universe wanted the people wearing it to look like they were in an accident. Not sure I get why, but I’m not here to--actually, I am here to judge, so never mind; it’s gross. Also the female set has Khezu mouths as arm coverings, which is someone’s fetish, I’m sure. The equipment as a whole is macabrely interesting (TIL that macabrely is a real word) and calls to mind a fascinating horror game franchise, so 8/10.

Final Thoughts and Tally: I figured that Khezu was gonna be interesting, but I didn’t know how far the devs would take the horror theming. Everything about this monster is creepy; it looks disturbing, it acts even worse, and its equipment makes me feel like I need a tetanus shot just from looking at it. But that’s not at all a bad thing...unless you’re really squeamish, in which case you were likely cringing this whole review. I’d apologize, but you made the choice to stick through ‘till the end. 8/10.

#monster hunter #monster hunter rating #monster hunter rise #zaph1337

27 notes · View notes