#(but censored so its fit for tumblr LMAO)

[dairyfreenugget]

(Alt text under the cut)

Figuring out Hornet's gijinka design 👍 Not fully happt with it but it's some progress

ID start: Two half-nude halfbody doodles of Hornet from Hollow Knight as a human with light purple shading. In the first doodle she's looking to the side with a smirk, one set of arms crossed over her chest and the other rested on her hips, she's also wearing a brown bra. In the second doodle she's seen from behind, stretching with one set of arms over her head and the other resting on her hips, she has short, fluffy ginger and white tail. She's muscular, light skinned with piebald spots on her forehead, cheeks, limbs and tail; she has three-toned ginger and white short hair that curls up, short facial hair and ginger body hair, two sets of arms with furry, clawed hands, horns, elf ears and pure white irises. End ID.

ID start: Two half-nude halfbody doodles of Hornet from Hollow Knight as a human. In the first doodle she's looking to the side with a smirk, one set of arms crossed over her chest and the other rested on her hips, she's also wearing a brown bra. In the second doodle she's seen from behind, stretching with one set of arms over her head and the other resting on her hips, she has short, fluffy ginger and white tail. She's muscular, light skinned with piebald spots on her forehead, cheeks, limbs and tail; she has three-toned ginger and white short hair that curls up, short facial hair and ginger body hair, two sets of arms with furry, clawed hands, horns, elf ears and pure white irises. End ID.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOAOA everytime I see a censored name of the length I’m gonna assume it’s him (also unrelated but while we’re taking abt your other posts if tumblr did that to me while I was responding to you id lowk shit myself because we yap sm)

Kalos yuki supremacy….but LMAO tabieita really start slandering him like there’s no tomorrow and then the next day they see him on national tv next to Chris Prince cue their jaws dropping onto the floor

HAHAH omg a personal twt filter i need one sometimes the stuff that ends up on my feed is batshit insane like why’s James Charles here ok but wait now that you say it being called aiku sounds wrong because my first association with him is womanizer not captain of the u20 team and top notch defender HSSBHA (says a lot about aiku)

STOP I READ THAT IN A SOUTHERN ACCENT WITH THE WILD WEST MUSIC AUTOMATICALLY PLAYING but imagine everytime Reo sees a psychic type now he’s on guard like “shit are they reading my mind” (wait speaking of I forgot to mention this like three responses ago but I relatively recently (in terms of how long I’ve known pokemon) figured out reasoning behind psychic advantages/disadvantages, it’s weak to everything that’s a common fear (bug dark ghost) and effective against fighting and poison because of the “mind over matter” mentality)

LMAOO (is there an actual term for this I could’ve sworn there might’ve been but if not I’m just coining consciousness consultants instead) not only is it tabieita in every universe I guess it’s aibarou (this name…..aiba?? Baraiku?? These are all ass airou???????) PLEASE it would be funny if reader instead said “no way I know another one too! Can’t believe there’s three of us”

IGAGURI X READER IM DYINGGGF LMAOOO second arc new characters this is the boruto of the miraverse pokemon au (instead of pursuit its chase) tell me why i created that exact picture of grandpa nagi in my mind

IM CRUIGNFNFNFJSHAHA THAT WHOLE ASS DRAWING I HAD TO STOP MYSELF FROM SCREAMING IN PUBLIC THIS JS A MASTERPIECE (you’ll progressively see all of my words become caps at some point I guarantee the more we chat the more I’ll use caps) ok but HOUNDOOMS SO CUTE?? The tail wag has me crying ok but where’s gyarados…./j Barou’s hair is MAJESTIC please include this in the epilogue im gonna go frame this in my room

Ok wait SPEAKING OF VISUALS have you ever considered designing their fits….like yk how pokemon characters have a very kinda unique sense of style that fits the series? And ofc specialty trainers usually dress accordingly but imagine like pulling up one of those piccrew generators and yk….

LAMAO FR imagine instead phanpy actually managed to evolve while they’re out and Karasu just facepalms like who tf is this (as if he’s recognizable with his hair down) and readers just like my phanpy evolved!! Thanks!!

LMAOA I’m kinda imagining it’s like Misty’s psyduck except they’re both like that HAHAH stop now I’m getting hyped up for the side stories omg air yuki Aryu styling shenanigans!!! I read that as “yuki taking Aryu to get groomed at first” HSHSHSHSS anyways!! No because imagine hiori finally walks out of the safari zone like covered in mud like “phew finally that Kangaskhan was MAD” only to see half his team missing like “wait where’s swanna nidoqueen and aurorus…” cue the Jurassic park sfx that’s aurorus screaming from in the safari zone and hioris like “oh ffs” and runs back in LMAOO tabieita boy failures so real if it’s not Karasu taking an L it’s otoya ok when you first said side story one of my first ideas was yayoi Karasu childhood interactions great minds think alike

HSHSSHSH I kinda had a feeling your post was referencing our convo but I was kinda hoping not because we write sm LMAOO I’m thinking about it now and I think id lose my mind CHRIS ORINCE FANBOY OTOYA WAIT DO IT imagine it’s like todo going to that (shit I forgot her name) idols meet and greet but instead it’s otoya HAHSAHAJ

Aiku helping his teammates relieve stress (according to him) but he’s the one becoming stress instead now so he’s taking it out on everyone LMAOO pause do we have an ewc…(estimated word count)

HAHSHAHA I’m also pursuit brain rotted I’m so committed to the story now it’s not even funny

Wait…pokemon based theme to foreshadow/drop hints about pursuit (not story wise just that it exists LMAO) WAITTTTT “choose your starter and get a fic/drabble/hc(idk wtv floats your boat LMAO)” idk abt the details of what starter means what but that’s a thought for later

ISAGIS SEXY COUSIN GOODBYE but so real for that HSBSHS omg wait I bet there’s probably some edits alr floating around with the crumbs we got via that trailer

HAHSBA THE USA EAGLE SCREECH YES LMFOAOA (THIS FAR??? I’d give up /j tumblr needs a better save feature or just a not delete feature) wait..you’re right….do we even get any feather aura until nel??? Because I wonder how many people end up putting two and two together and figure out that his name means crow

Mira alpha wolf era LMAOOO BUT FR I’ve never seen a really atrocious scene of nagi (except for maybe second selection after they beat Barou and he flops onto the top bunk his face looked kinda funky but wtv it was a silly moment) so very excited!!! I’m also worried for Barou LANAO but wait the hair down scene in the trailer!! Can’t wait for more of that (Karasu when)

NOOO YOUR GOOD I would fr just jump back in your inbox and be like “I need five business days to recover from this sorry” /j and I’m ngl my memory is so ass that sometimes when you respond to things I have to scroll all the way back up to my own ask to remember what we’re talking about HSHSSHSH so trust me if you don’t remember neither do I

Also wait Kaiser in pokemon has me crying banned because he pointed a gun at ash BYE LMFAOA

- Karasu anon

LMAOOO 90% of the time *** ****** is sae the other 10% it’s rin but i feel like given context you’ll be mostly able to figure out which one it is?? i think i’m in an enemies to lovers w sae or smth so i post abt him more KRJFJSJS only other *** ****** in bllk is reo but i love him i’d never censor him 😩

KALOS YUKI MY MAN also omg wait that’s so funny especially because otoya is a prince stan so it’s basically yuki just flexing because he can FJDJFJSJ like “oh you want to bully me??? your hero is my father figure 😜😴🤫” he’s actually so sassy but in an underrated way i love him

HELP because whenever oaeu aiku goes on one of his tangents abt how he’s the captain of the u20s i giggle like ok sure bro (love how this implies i don’t have control over oaeu aiku tbh i don’t i just sit at the keyboard and let his spirit flow through me and suddenly i have 3k words of aiku bullying everyone in his mind)

YESSS THAT’S EXACTLY THE VIBE I WAS GOING FOR like reo tullia nagi and reader wearing the little cowboy hats and everything LDJFSJAJ nagi chewing on a piece of wheatgrass i’m crying 😭 omg no because reo deadass thinks reader and her aegislash are like this tik tok (i always have a tik tok on hand) so he’s just like vaguely terrified of her LMAOAOA nagi’s too lucky she’s not outing him the way he outed reo 😩 reader >>>>

CAN THEIR DUO NAME BE SHOELIVER 😭😭😭😭🤩🤩🤩🤩 pronounced like shoe-liver (english pronunciations even though barou’s name is said more like sho-ei) HAHAHA never separated fr those two have an unbreakable bond 🙏🏻 help because i could actually see reader saying that like “damn didn’t know there were so many mega houndooms roaming around??” the only reason i can think that she’d realize aiku means barou is because this arc takes place after reader and nagi go through and watch all of barou’s old league battles so she knows barou is the only other person w a mega houndoom 😩

HELPP PURSUIT BORUTO I’M CRYING deadass though it could be niko as the bug catcher just imagine that mf with a spewpa 😭 for extra connectedness (never watched naruto/boruto but isn’t it like everyone is just someone’s son or smth) maybe his spewpa is tullia’s vivillon’s offspring LFJDSJS although ig niko is kinda shy too…hold on niko as aiku’s apprentice (like the oaeu) still with tullia’s vivillon’s baby, kurona just chilling and probably with like a wailord or smth, nagiy/n’s daughter with her mother’s aegislash, and kiyora as yukimiya’s successor (since he’s a dancer and all) nagiy/n’s daughter sees kiyora and is like “WOAH you look JUST like my brother but blue” HAHAHA and then wait tbh CHARLES could be the bug catcher and maybe shidou is his mentor??? i’m crying just imagine that wedding like the groom’s side is shidou partying it up (he probably dragged sae over from fucking johto or whatever region the itoshis live in) meanwhile the bride’s side is like former champion y/n l/n, former king of kalos kenyu yukimiya, flying type gym leader tabito karasu (“uncle tabito” on her mom’s side), famous breeder tullia ferraro, corporation heir reo mikage (“uncle reo” on her dad’s side), lazy hero seishiro nagi who was the face of the efforts against team x (reader was injured and he’s the one who rescued all of the trainers while she was battling barou so he got a lot of fame), fucking otoya?? no title for him (he insists on being called big o by the kids) and renowned pokémon professor oliver aiku…literally ALL of them are lowkey judging shidou except aiku who’s like hell yeah this is great LMAOAOA

I WAS CRYINGGG MAKING THE DRAWING pls barou’s hair cracked me up second only to mr mikage’s mario ass mustache 😭 i feel like nagiy/n’s daughter would def view houndoom as just a cute cuddly puppy since that’s how houndoom treats her hence why houndoom doesn’t have any of the skull motifs or the devil tail instead she’s just giving cutie puppy (also lowkey she probably combined houndoom and nagi’s arcanine into one dog shaped pokémon since i know for a FACT that arcanine was the number one stan of those children 😩) PLS I TRIED DRAWINF GYARADOS AND GAVE UP I’M NOT ARTISTICALLY INCLINED

LMAOO so i do have clear visions of what otoya and karasu wear so i tried drawing them (also in my mind chigiri just wears tan riding pants, a rugby shirt, and riding boots since he’s an ex racer but that’s basic enough that i didn’t draw it) obviously they look silly because a) i can’t draw and b) they’re meant to be goofy pokémon verse fits but here they are!!

^ also in my mind karasu’s coat and pants are the same purpley black as his hair/honchkrow’s feathers (both for aesthetic and to distinguish him from aiku who wears a white lab coat as all professors do) but i did not feel like coloring that anyways the gist as you can see is otoya = black turtleneck + black pants + black boots probably (not skin tight necessarily but def more fitted to not get in his way when he’s doing ninja bs) whereas karasu has this long coat to kind of match the bird vibe?? also he’s almost always wearing the super heavy duty falconing gloves especially when the birds are babies because they love perching on his arm and yayoi drilled into him how much it hurts when a raptor with enormous talons divebombs onto your unprotected wrist 😭 anyways no idea what the others might wear i’ll probably try to figure it out during their introductions (also like i said excuse the artistic skills this was more meant for me to have as a visual while writing but since you asked i thought i’d share LDJFSJSJSJ)

PLSSS I CAN IMAGINE THE HIORI ONE SO WELL i feel like the yuki + aryu one would be rlly cute we could see more of gagamaru in it too…pls karasu and otoya are consistently embarrassing themselves one or the other must be taking l’s at all times it’s just equilibrium 😭 imagine otoya’s like whatever you do DON’T act like nagi that man has negative rizz and karasu’s like “well he pulled y/n ya know…” and otoya’s like “yeah wtvr she’s crazy” JFKDJDNS they slander reader and tullia sm as if they are not literally the walking definition of losers??

OTOYA AT A CHRIS PRINCE MEET AND GREET PLEASE I’M CRYING AT THE VISUALLLL he would be the one who’s like “he shook my hand i’m never washing it again” and karasu’s like bro??? help omg ik which one you’re talking about…doesn’t the idol end up liking mai more??? imagine otoya brings karasu with him and chris prince ends up loving karasu like “wow you’re yayoi’s little brother?? you have a lot of potential!!” and otoya’s in the background like THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE

i think the barou version is probably going to end up at about the same length as the sae one!! we’re at 3k ish words rn and reader is just about to meet barou soooo there’s that 😭 this one is even more ridiculous than the sae version (aiku and niko kidnap barou) but i feel like barou lends himself to crack really well and barou fans are probs less picky so i think it’s okay (also PERSONALLY i find it funny and that’s all that matters fr)

nah because we’re coming up with pursuit boruto version atp it’s like a separate fandom /hj i’m actually really excited to write it!! just need to get on my grind for a bit and then we will get to pursuit hehe

THAT’S WHAT I WAS THINKING like maybe each type is a certain trope/theme and people have to find a pokémon that has the typing they want and send it in with the character they want…like say fire is best friends to lovers and flying is angst so someone could say “talonflame with karasu” or smth and i’d write an angsty best friends to lovers fic for him ykwim…it would require more effort on participant’s parts but considering i’ll probably limit it anyways and given how involved my request responses tend to be i think it’s fair and fun!! wait i could limit it to be like “help me build a pokémon team” and only have a certain number of slots available for the team or smth and that way i don’t get quite as many reqs as i did for the 500 event so i still have free time to write my own stuff

BRO I FR JUST STARED AT MY SCREEN i’m like obsessively saving the draft now…anyways he’s literally giving isagi but cuntier (sorry to isagi fans but karasu >>>>) LMAOAAO I NEED TO SEE HIM W THE EAGLE SCREECH yk that one crow panel of him in bm vs pxg like that panel SPECIFICALLY timed with the screech it’s a must

hair down barou 🤤🤤🤤 nah because call me reo the way i’m nagi’s number one glazer /j i’ve seen SOOO much nagi hate online recently it’s crazy i know the dude bros will start waffling on abt his comeback as soon as they remember what nagi’s built like again 😭 everyone on tumblr’s posting abt how reo’s getting blamed for nagi’s downfall erm i haven’t seen a single post blaming him…i’ve seen posts saying reo isn’t a player who they’d necessarily pick as top ten in the verse which i can see…the argument is that his best position is as a sub because he can fill any spot but why put someone who can only copy an ability to 99% in a position when you can just put the og 100% there…kinda like how reo can copy sae to 99% but no one would pick reo over sae even though reo’s technically more complete 🤔 i think copy’s one of those abilities that would be op if reo was the mc but as it is i do somewhat agree that reo is better suited as a substitute given the way the manga is written even though he’s also quite talented BUT that’s not really reo hate that’s just examining decisions kaneshiro’s made?? i see a lotttt of people slandering nagi though and saying he’ll never come back and that he sucks even though he made the goal of the century…ik ego said the five revolver whatever the fuck it’s called is not reproducible but honestly i feel like that’s kind of nagi’s thing?? he consistently pulls off impossible goals which he could never do again but that’s just how he works (and why prince said he needs to work on his creativity…if he could just be the kind of player who can use his insane talent to pull off crazy plays wherever he is the way he was doing in second selection he’d be undefeatable)

wait i just went on an entire rant abt nagi slander but this edit makes me lol so i can’t even be mad KEFJSJKS HIS FACE KILLS ME 😭😭😭

kaiser in pokémon is literally just kaiser in bllk bro WOULD point a revolver at isagi ash i’m crying LMAOAAO

nah i fear i did crash out but luckily it didn’t delete my ENTIRE response so it’s all good!! HAHAAH yeahhh sometimes i have to close the draft and go back to our old convos because i’m like “wait what is this in reference to”

[emeryofthestate]

i am so sick of yall. pitching a fit every time staff does literally anything. do yall realize how fucking entitled and whiny u sound constantly lmao

tumblr has to appeal to more than just your gay ass to stay afloat as a company. god knows none of you cunts constantly decrying the greed and selfishness of tumblr staff are going to do anything to ensure the site stays afloat, especially monetarily. they need advertisers. they need investors. they have to give those people and boards and organizations at least some of what they want in order to get money. they need to get money in order to continue existing. im not sure if yall realize this part, but they need to continue existing for you to continue using their fucking site you hate so much.

by all means criticize them when they do something wrong. the community tags censoring queer shit is absolutely an issue, yeah. but think about it for even a second. do you truly think tumblr believes it can afford to suppress its lgbt base? or do you think maybe they mightve done that bc of all the nsfw stuff that is also in those tags? and bc of how famously things like the App Store dont really want nsfw shit connected to them? of course theres a middle ground to be reached there, but yall Are Not trying to do that.

and now yall are mad bc they said 1/4 of the userbase is queer? how much of it do you Think is queer?? yall remember we're a minority group, yeah? and yall know how big numbers work? there are millions, with an S, of users on tumblr. if there were only four million users, a quarter would be what? thats right, a million users! now imagine if there were ten! or twenty! or fifty million! see how that smaller number starts to grow with the big one? and the statements "queerest place on the internet" and "1/4 of the userbase" can both be true!! a quarter is a significant fucking chunk of the people on this site!! what do you think facebook has? i bet its not fucking 25%!!

yall keep trying to say that the people running this place are arrogant and ignorant and never do anything its users want them to. and you know, maybe thats true! i dont know them, and i dont know what the fuck it is yall want lmao. but from where im sitting it looks to me like yall are doing a whole lot of running your mouths about shit you dont understand, and seemingly dont care to understand, as well. tumblr has to survive as a business to survive as a platform. tumblr has to make money. tumblr has to grow. thats capitalism, babey. and you all should know full well that just Not Participating in capitalism is not a fucking option!

i fully agree that staff has done some stupid shit, plenty of things no one wanted or engaged with, plenty of things that were absolutely shitty, but half the time yalls criticism boils down to "stop appealing to the people paying you to stay afloat!" "stop trying to appeal to us for money!" "stop trying to make money and focus on running a website!" and your ultimatums boil down to "fix this or we'll leave" but baby, if they dont do at least some of the shit you dont want them to, there wont be a site for you to leave.

[fae-fucker]

Review: The Songbird’s Refrain

by Jillian Maria

When a mysterious show arrives in town, seventeen-year-old Elizabeth Brighton is both intrigued and unsettled. But none of the acts capture her attention quite like the blue-eyed woman. Locked in a birdcage and covered in feathers, the anguish in her voice sounds just a little too real to be an act—because it isn’t. The show’s owner, a sadistic witch known only as the Mistress, is holding her captive. And she’s chosen Elizabeth as her next victim. After watching the blue-eyed woman die, Elizabeth is placed under the same curse. She clings to what little hope she can find in the words of a fortune teller and in her own strange dreams. The more she learns, the more she suspects that the Mistress isn’t as invulnerable as she appears. But time is against her, and every feather that sprouts brings her closer to meeting the blue-eyed woman’s fate. Can Elizabeth unlock the secret to flying free, or will the Mistress’s curse kill her and cage its next victim?

Full disclosure without the fancy wording: Jillian straight up gave me a free copy of this book, and I’ve followed the development of this novel since pretty early on because it sounded like it was My Jam. Spoilers: it was, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be honest with my opinions! With that said: Jillian, don’t read this. And also, holy shit congrats on writing a book, we stan!! <3 But seriously, don’t.

This review contains vague character spoilers to serve as examples. No names are mentioned.

The Writing

Having read a couple of early versions of the first chapters of this book, I can’t express enough how amazing it is to read it in its final form, how far it has come from the days when an early draft was posted on a tumblr page which the author coded herself. That’s not to say the early versions of it were bad, but I don’t want to undermine and deny how far it has come and how polished it is.

As you all know, I’m not a huge fan of overly flowery prose because it often takes me out of the experience, and luckily, I can’t remember a single time I thought something was overwritten or took me out of the story. 

The writing is evocative without being flashy and Elizabeth has a clear, wonderful voice that feels fresh and easy and intimate at once. The dialogue feels natural and I’m honestly impressed with how characters rarely swear despite being in terrible situations, and how it never felt like a copout or like the author was censoring herself for the YA age range. 

Probably a weird thing to point out, but my characters swear constantly and I have no idea how to stop them from doing that without making it very silly, so props to the author for succeeding where I would definitely fail. 

The Characters

Oh my what a smörgåsbord of fun people! I won’t dwell too much on this section because the mystery is very much tied deeply into the characters themselves, and I don’t want to spoil things before the book is even out.

Elizabeth is a bean. She’s self-aware and relatable without losing her own individuality in the process. I hated seeing her suffer but loved watching her grow stronger through it. She has standards and opinions yet she doubts herself on nearly every step and all I wanted to do was to reach through the pages and give her a slap and go GIRL, YOU A STAR. She’s what a YA protagonist should be, in my humble onion. My only complaint would probably be that she’s a bit too self-aware for a reglier teenager, but it makes sense for the story and the premise and the growth she goes through, so I don’t think it’s something that ruins her in any capacity. Maybe she’s just way more clever than I was at 17, lmao. 

The Mistress. What can I say without saying too much? Man, what a villain! Like, damn! Yes! Gurl! Yes! Terrifying! I hate her absolute guts! Every time she was in a scene I wanted to crawl under a blanket and bring Elizabeth with me to protecc her. This woman’s aesthetic and evil-ness rivals a Disney villain, and like, not in a bad way, but in the best way. The panache with which she does all her evil shit is just *chef kiss* I wanted to do violence to this woman but I knew if I’d existed in this story she’d absolutely destroy me if I looked at her wrong, and I think that’s what my ideal villain archetype is. The Mistress is deliciously, stylishly evil. You read the book half because you want Elizabeth to win, and half because you want, nay, NEED to see the Mistress lose. Some might say they need a villain to be more complex or whatever, but I’m firmly in the “evil people exist and evil antagonists are fun to write if you do it properly” camp, and here it’s done properly, IMHO. The Mistress doesn’t need a sad backstory or a complex motivation to be an effective, intimidating, and interesting antagonist. 

I also really liked Madame Selene. At first I found her to be kind of cliché as a mystical fortune teller, but there’s actually a very interesting spin on that trope in her character, and I found her to be endlessly interesting as a result of it. I can’t say much more without further spoilers, but let’s just say there’s a reason she’s all cryptic and weird and refuses to speak plainly. My biggest gripe is that she didn’t get as much screentime as I wanted. I just need more of Madame Selene.

I honestly can’t say I found any of the other side characters to be lacking (even Bridget, whomst I need to strangle, was fun to hate), but I will say that my favorites were definitely one of the couples. The older one especially.

I will also repeat that I love Elizabeth. Very much. I love Elizabeth twice. Ahem.

Anyway, special mention should be made that the cast is quite diverse despite being fairly small. I didn’t expect anything less from Jillian, of course, but I just wanted to point it out for those who had doubts. 

The Negatives and the Mehgatives

Because oh yes, it ain’t a review by Eff if they don’t complain about shit.

Now, some of these are things that aren’t necessarily bad, but others did feel like they were in the way of making this book as good as it could be. I usually split my reviews further up into “worldbuilding” and “plot”, but since I don’t feel like I have enough to say about those to justify their own sections, I’ve decided to just throw them in here. 

The worldbuilding is sparse, and that’s fine for this genre and this specific story. It plays out (mostly) in the reglier world with sort of reglier people, so I wasn’t expecting Tolkien levels of depth going in (in fact I find Tolkien levels of depth to not be necessary more than half the time but that’s another discussion). I got glimpses of some very interesting things that I’d very much like to see more of, but it feels more like stuff that would fit an “extended universe” sort of series and the lack of more supernatural/unique elements felt fine and didn’t really bother me.

Now to the less than good stuff. As much as I enjoyed the progression of the plot and Elizabeth’s character, and the steady flow of hints and developments felt elegant, I did feel like the mystery was a little bit predictable, and the foreshadowing a bit on the nose, especially in the very beginning. (Elizabeth’s shoulder scar was mentioned probably half a dozen times more than necessary.)

For example (mild spoilers, skip to next paragraph if you want to avoid), there’s a section where a character is taken away and Elizabeth hears them scream. After that, she keeps mentioning how that character is definitely, 100% dead, there’s no way they survived, they’re totally a corpse now, someone dig a hole and find a coffin. I thought it made sense for Elizabeth to feel fear and grief and assume the worst, so I’m not as bothered by it as I would’ve been in a worse book, but it did feel a bit like she was trying to convince the reader more than like she was mourning.

The foreshadowing being on the nose and the mystery being predictable are sort of intertwined, and I think it’s probably the book’s biggest flaw? That said, if you don’t consider yourself super savvy with writing and storytelling techniques, you might not pick up on this stuff at all. I also liked the plot despite finding it predictable, so if you’re not really interested in a super complex mystery but are interested in a good story, you’ll probably find this intriguing enough. 

The second biggest flaw of the book is the ending, in my opinion. It felt a bit rushed, and I would’ve liked to see side characters tied up as neatly as the plot itself. Not ... in a sexy way, yikes. I mean their arcs and stuff. There’s one in particular I felt was lacking, where I would’ve wanted to see more of a reaction and conclusion to something terrible that happened before. The character in question was pretty important during the whole middle of the book, and in the end they’re just sort of glossed over and exit the narrative, literally. The ending is supposed to be sort of open, I think, so I can respect that, but it could’ve been open while still feeling complete, ya know?

And the romance ... Well, let’s move on to the next bit, shall we? 

The Gay

Full disclosure: I’m straight. Well, that’s the word I use, and some might disagree with it because I’m nonbinary and say my attraction to men would make me “queer”. But that’s the word I use for my general thing, not my sexuality specifically.

ANYWAY. This is all fluff that I’m using to ease you into the real point: I’m, like, not into reading wlw romance. Or mlm romance. At all? I’m not against it by any means, go wild my dudes, and I hate 90% of all “straight” romances because straight people largely can’t write love for shit.

I’m saying this because I think there’s a lot of fellow straighties out there thinking they’ll be made “uncomfortable” by the gays or that it’ll make them question their sexuality and stuff. And 1) lmao cowards 2) I get it, it feels “”””weird”””” and you don’t relate but like 3) stop being a lil bitch and open your mind.

If you’re a straighty and you’re curious about this book but think that the lady-kissing is spookie, I’m here to inform you that yeah, romantic love between women is heavily, and I mean heavily, tied into the main plot. But it’s not really a book about homosexuality or homophobia. It feels natural, and normal, and is never made out to be a Thing, except when Elizabeth speculates about her parents’ reactions to her coming out. It’s not a book about TEH GAYS specifically, it’s a book about love, that just happens to be between women. If you can accept that and go into it with an open mind, like I did because I am Very Woke, I think you’ll find a new appreciation and perspective for romances that aren’t straight.

Now, back to the actual book. The romance in TSR is frustrating to me because one of them is amazing, so amazing that even I, a filthy man-lover, found it melting my heart. It’s lovely, it’s beautifully written, it’s got a gorgeous aesthetic and an excellent pairing with plenty of warm and fluffy chemistry without shying away from their sexuality. I loved this relationship and I wish there was a book just about these two ladies. It’s honestly #romancegoals. 

The second one is ... not that. It felt sort of rushed and like it was constantly trying to justify itself. It wasn’t instalove, but it also sort of was? I can’t explain it without spoiling so you’ll have to read it for yourself. It could have something to do with the fact that the other couple are teenagers and the previous one are adults so their relationship felt more mature and established, but both get roughly the same amount of screen time and I’m quite frankly baffled by how differently they’re handled.

Given how dark and honest and real most of this book was (despite the magic stuff), it felt really jarring to have the second romance be so empty.

To its credit, I was very much rooting for the teen couple. I even imagined how they’d meet up and fight the villain together. If their ending had been just a little bit more open (as opposed to the general ending, which I wanted to be less open lol) and their romance not quite as definitively sealed, I think I would’ve loved it too, because it would’ve fit better with the tone of the rest of the storytelling.

As it stands, I think the different romantic relationships shown in this book are interesting and show off different dynamics and are a good starting point for important conversations baby wlw (and other romantically inclided peeps tbh) might want to have. Yes, even -- and possibly especially -- the abusive ones. 

This story has a lot to say about love and I think it’s important stuff people need to hear nowadays, especially YA audiences.

The Conclusion

If you’re looking for a paranormal YA mystery with a bit of gore thrown in, complete with a lesbian protag and a diverse cast, self-contained and tasty like a very small hamburger, The Songbird’s Refrain is well worth your time. 

It’s got a great romance, an excellent protagonist, an unsettling atmosphere, a fun villain, and a genuinely touching story dealing with important subjects like healthy love, abusive relationships, and self-worth.

If you’re not a fan of one aspect of this book but the rest seems appealing, I think you should go for it and maybe realize as you’re reading that it doesn’t matter that much because the rest of the package deal is excellent.

[rethcore]

GUESS WHOSE MONSTERS & MORE PACKAGE CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY HOO BOY IT WAS MINE AND I COULDN’T BE HAPPIER

Coey and Shy went all out with this installment of the series, look at that gorgeous book!  And the slip case!  It fits all 3 of my books super comfortably, i wish i had the room on my desk or a bookshelf somewhere to display it properly, but its tucked into the cubby of my nightstand at the moment.  The book itself is so good and there’s a variety of comics in there this round that I really loved.  AND LIKE 4 PAGES DEDICATED TO ZORAS A+++ MATERIAL.

And all those kickstarter extras?  I love them.  The mini prints are just so nice and the lil baphomet patch is my favorite thing ever.  I’ve put most of them up on my cork board and around my room now.

AND THE PRINTS.  HOO BOY.  I slapped my money down for a colored piece when the kickstarter was live, I’ve wanted to own a piece of coey’s art since forever so being able to commission him is honestly a dream come true ;u;  I ended up going with me and @maedaeme’s GW2 darlings and coey just.  Did such an amazing job with the both of them, though I’ve had to censor one of the images because lmao tumblr.  The clean version is going up on my wall as soon as I can find a frame for it.  The prints are just so beautiful, seriously I could not be more happier with how they turned out I have absolutely no regrets over backing this project, everything is just phoenomenal ;u;

Tumblr’s a dying platform now but if you’re not already following @coeykuhn and @shycustis please consider supporting the work that they do, both of them are phoenomenal people who worked super hard to put this book together!  

I think any extra copies they have left over and the PDF version will be on their etsy shop once they’re back from conventions if any of you are interested in checking it out for yourselves!  I can 100% recommend it, that’s for sure so please give it a look - https://www.etsy.com/shop/CoeyAndShy

[angleofmusings]

#so i have a similar story #in 2020 while i was on twt and still leaning more towards mcrtwt there was a more popular acc #which omg that sounds so lame sorry like oh yeah this evil big acc LMAO but yeah they had a good amount of followers #and they had said something along the lines of ray being ugly and that ppl were faking their attracrion to him #and op had claimed it was a joke #but i was like helloooooooo???????? #because i had watched ppl go up in arms like crazy about the other members being called ugly or ppl saying they werent attracted to them #but no one was defending ray #and i was pretty pissed #so my version of this experiment....albeit maybe messed up on my part #was to tweet out i thought that gerard was ugly #and let me tell you i was INSTANTLY SWARMED #and i did tell ppl i didnt actually think he was #but i was like hey hey hey now when its gerard ??? you will throw a bitch fit but when its ray youll let white ppl treat him like shit ???? #and mimd you these ppl were mostly white #op in the first place was white #my acc has long been since suspended but theres still some of these comments up #and everyone was mad at me for trying to cancel op #and nobody at op for saying that ppl were faking their attraction to ray #to throw a bone i did make the mistake of not censoring op when i posted a screenshot of their original post #cuz i was at the time really not mwaning to cancel op #i just thought it was rlly weird to watch ppl defend gerard and not ray #and anyways that has been two years ago and while op is still on twt just under a new acci hope they have since changed their mindset #but its upsetting to see that the general public of white mer stans have not #NOW tho it gets called out much more frequently and thats rlly great #its kinda crazy what went down in 2020 a LOT of mcr stans showed me their true colors and it rlly tainted the whole fandom for me #and its upsetting because ive truly loved this band for a such long time #ALSO WAIT I FORGOT TO SAY i dont think anyone should force themself to be attracted to the band guysim a lesbian so i get it trust #but never paying attention to ray or pushing him to the side or ofc saying the shit this guy had said then yeah ur WEEEEIRD #just be normal. also went 2 look at ops acc again for this 2 refresh my memory & he had his tumblr on it. so great. hope he sees this LMAO (tags from @peteisacreep)

just woke up so apologies if this isn’t coherent. i do feel like the nature of tumblr’s chronological feed and lack of posts from outside your space (blogs you follow and people they reblog from, basically) tends to make it harder to tell when parts of the fandom are acting up (which, to be clear, they always are; last night was not an isolated incident). but that means that when you are presented with an example of racism in the fandom, such as a particular instagram live only screenshotting the white members of the band and completely ignoring ray (arguably THE MOST interesting one to watch), you gotta call it out.

i did a little experiment a few shows back. two posts, same text save for a minor change. “frank iero. you agree.” and “ray toro. you agree.” any guesses as to which post got more reblogs within the first, oh, 15–20 minutes of its lifespan? if you said “the frank one” then you win absolutely nothing because that is the bare minimum for recognizing fandom racism.

(the “ray toro. you agree.” post is now at around 400 notes, thanks largely to the fact that i frequently rb it during shows instead of making a new post every time, and also because @sleepgerbs reblogged it 178 times on the first night of its existence… after i posted links in the discord and explicitly asked people to rb the ray post several times to make up for the disparity. yes i know that’s tampering with evidence but i honestly had enough data from the experiment already so.)

so actually ignore the point in my first paragraph, it’s different now, i’m leaving it there to show full transparency but actually mcrblr is complicit in this too, it’s just less obvious when your dash is still mostly full of people like @raytorosaurus and @dyketoro and @girlgerard and @mcrbois posting things like “ray toro high harmony <33333” and “slay toro” every time he does something onstage. but notice how that sort of post tends to be made by a much smaller group of people. notice who is silent, not because they aren’t watching the streams or aren’t liveblogging them, but because all their attention is on frank, gerard, and mikey. because they don’t see ray, who isn’t white, who doesn’t fit into the (racist) perception of “what mcr looks like” (guess what! mcr looks like ray toro, and that is a GOOD thing), as a core part of the band. which, to be clear, he is.

your racism is showing.

[lunarssong]

quick little summary/title: this started out as a rant but if you scroll down to the large bold, there’s a metaphor that should hopefully help explain why terfs are so god damn awful and dangerous

me? sending an ask off-anon to a terf because im both pissed and a fucking dumbass? its more likely than youd think

in fact! im not even gonna censor the word terf! if i dont feel like dealing with their bullshit replies and rbs then i literally just fucking wont!! yeah they might send in death threats but guess the fuck what?? im leaving my anon on fuckers, because honestly that shits gonna be funny to me! and if they try to doxx me (very unlikely, but i am trans and its not riskier to mention that because its already obvious, and ive never directly made a post about terfs before, so i really dont know whats gonna happen) or something then like! im a minor! we can sue those shitheads and hopefully bring more media awareness to how god damn shitty terfs are! literally dont even start, lmao.

have the damn ask because i wanna elaborate on it

“hi there! i wish you’d delete your tumblr, because you are dangerous. you are a violent misogynist, and make me ashamed to be a feminist.

you’re gonna attack me because i’m off anon, but you’d probably call me a coward if i was on it, lmao.

anyway! stop disguising your misogyny and transphobia with shitty ass ‘feminism’. i was raised by a feminist with a feminist mom who literally can’t believe y’all exist because your ideas are SO far from actual feminism.

just say you hate trans people and go.”

tbh? its so fucking wild to me how they literally spit out misogyny, transphobia, and lesbophobia but then get all pissy when someone calls them out on it,, but then have the nerve to accuse that person of being misogynistic and lesbophobic? like,, honey. honey, what? the fuck? how much of a dumbass are you?

because like. im a pretty big dumbass! like ive walked into a mirror before because i thought it was a door! im a dumbass!

but even i know that trans women literally cannot discriminate against cis women by saying that theyre (plural, but trans women can 100% use they and thats totally valid) women! because guess the FUCK what?? theyre fucking women! if yall shitheads (terfs) wanna call that misogyny then yall cant call yourselves women either!

if yall assholes wanna call a specific group of lesbians/wlw pointing out, “hey! we experience discrimination because of an entirely irrelevant physical feature we all happen to share that has literally no actual affect on whether or not we are women/wlw” lesbophobia or speaking over minorities then wow.

wow.

wow, are yall gonna be shocked when (if) you realize what the hell yall doing that qualifies as.

oppressors literally depicting and/or committing fucking hate crimes, sometimes even as serious as murder, rape, etc. (this is referring to terfs, i should never have to point that out) is NOT comparable to an oppressed as hell minority saying that people who literally want them dead should not be in safe spaces intended for people of a community they both happen to belong to.

to put this into perspective for yall out there literally worse than garbage (terfs)! imagine this scenario.

youre in a community of women. trans women may or may not be a part of this particular community, shut the fuck up, thats irrelevant. a group of straight women pop up, and start saying that being wlw is misogynistic and harmful to women. this is bullshit. you know that immediately. why wouldn’t it be? you explain to them the obvious reasons why it is not. they ignore you.

they begin to spew utter bullshit, claiming things like “women should never marry other women. you’re ignoring the fact that a man’s place is as a woman’s wife, and basically trying to be men, which is like admitting that men are superior.” or, “as straight women, you flaunting your homosexuality,” the woman gestures to a lesbian couple who aren’t even holding hands and haven’t been touching the whole time theyve been there. one has a small rainbow heart sticker on her purse. “makes me feel threatened in my femininity. (insert plural of 4 letter slur against lesbians that i dont feel comfortable typing a single letter of) arent really women, their existence is heterophobia and misogyny. they shouldn’t be allowed in female-only spaces because they normalize masculinity.”

over time, this group of straight women grows. they call themselves feminists, claim theyre fighting for the rights of all women! unless those women happen to love other women and dont perfectly fit their (cisnormative too but terfs are awful so they like that) heteronormative idea of a woman. they protest at the very idea of saying “significant others”, “partners”, or even “wives and/or husbands” because it doesnt fit their idea of being a woman. because they think having a wife and loving women is only for men.

eventually, they start getting braver and braver. they start going to feminist rallies, and if they spot gay women, or even women they think look gay, theyll get up in their faces, threaten them, call them slurs. theyll try to record them, try to get them fired from their jobs or outed to unsupportive families. or even just expose them to the potential of assault in their day-to-day life. because theyre gay. and that doesnt affect the straight women at all, but they hate diversity and are homophobes. so they need an excuse.

sometimes theyll get their other gay-exclusive feminist friends to record them committing violent acts against wlw feminists, just to take stills from those videos out of context when the gay women defend themselves, and then go crying to the media, twisting the roles of victim and aggressor to paint a violent picture of wlw. they say that feminist rallies should be an event only for real women or allies to their cause—meaning, to them, no wlw, and certainly no mlm. they probably even try to turn all homophobia towards gay men into a sexism issue (they are sometimes tied, but not mostly). but they lose their shit when anyone tries to tell them to get out of these safe spaces for women, because by attacking wlw for literally nothing beyond existing, they are ruining the safe part.

people start to become ashamed to call themselves feminists, and are often lumped in with these homophobes. even if they themselves are gay. straight feminists who love, support, and fight for wlw begin to feel guilty for being straight. new labels for feminist ideology begin popping up, the gay-exclusive feminists strike them down and turn them into jokes.

their end goal is to reverse victories like gay marriage, remove gay representation both in the media and in history books (sometimes even arguing that famous wlw were ‘just close friends’ with their wives or girlfriends), and to send wlw right back to hiding and marrying men for fear of their lives.

all in the name of thinly veiled homophobia feminism!

but wait, you cry, that sounds nothing like feminism! it actually sounds like misogyny and homophobia!

exactly!

think about who yall are the real-life equivalent of in that scenario.

need a hint because youre so brainwashed? try changing ‘gay/wlw’ to ‘trans’, ‘straight’ to ‘cis’, and ‘gay-exclusive’ to ‘terf’.

i doubt any of them will actually read through this, let alone realize their flawed perspective due to it, but hey. maybe ill sway some people who’re on the fence about how horrible terfs are.

[themurlocsrollingon]

I LOVE your tags on the history of queer in Australia and agree entirely. I've literally never heard queer be used as a slur here I only knew it was in America from tv and film. Queer is my birthright and I will fight to the death for it

man ty!!!the whole us-centric attitude tumblr has always kinda bugged me (literally everything is american unless stated otherwhise…), but queer history especially being so us-centric really bums me out.i wouldnt know my own history or even the current lgbt+ scene here well if it werent for Other sources like sbs or wikipedia lmao.and its been so hard to figure out how trans health care works here since ive had to dig for it directly, where as everything else useful only aplies to american systems most of the time, and can be found pretty abundantly here. (and being in a rural area in australia makes things even more sparse and hard to find, so it really doesn’t help.)

i seen a lot more posts about the use of the word and its meaning now, from people talking about how they don’t like hearing or seeing it, and people talking about its history and i just feel like its a pretty crumby thing to make it an issue for us where it isn’t one. glad theres always kore discussion abt it but id straight up be devistated if things rolled over to the word being a literal swear.

i know theres implications to reclaiming it, but thats not the issue. here it doesn’t even feel like something To reclaim, its just always been fine. and i really don’t appreciate being told to drop it becausei just been worried that one day i might have to give the word up if it becomes too controversial in america. like srsly, ‘queer’ means a whole lot to me. if i was close to somone who was uncomfortable with me using it, i wouldnt use it around them. but otherwise i wont be censoring the word. i’ve always been conflicted about labels. wether it was before when i thought i was a lesbian, or now when i feel more like using transmasc or gender fluid, an pan or bi or straight or somehong iunno lmao. i still don’t feel entirely comfortable with them i feel like theres a heap of pressure for me to be able to explain myself to people who don’t know me. all labels i’ve tried might technically fit, but still feel too specific. except for 'queer’. i treasure and rely on the word so much since i cant rely on any other kinds of labels. its loose fitting, casual, and its mine. i just use other lables mostly for other people convenience n thats about it.

dafgjkh not to be dramnatic lmfAO its just something i thing outta be talked abt more and its always bugged me so yea man. ty and dog bless mate💛😎✌️

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #65

“i couldn’t take my eyes off her, but that’s not what i took off that night.”

have you ever wanted to travel to germany?   i have, yes.  if we happen to be blessed with quite a good income, i'd really like to do that once i have children, go on a big family trip to germany.  i'd need to brush up on my german, though! is marijuana legal for "recreational use" where you live? also what is your opinion on the recent legalization of marijuana in certain states?   i don't think it is... but the whole legalization shit is stupid.  you will never convince me that marijuana isn't dangerous.  don't legalize dangerous shit. do you usually have bad symptoms around "that time of the month"?   i'd say i'm luckier than most, now that i've been on the pill.  i get mild cramps, headaches, and i usually break out a bit. how do you feel about being called sweetie/dear/honey/etc.?   i'd have no problem with it.  jason never called me any of those listed though, just "love," which was my favorite anyway. do you have your national flag hanged up anywhere outside your house?   no, we don't. would you ever go to japan?   omg yes!! have you ever been in a choir?
   i was in the church, yes. have you ever had a speech impediment?   i stutter pretty badly. give out your phone number over the internet?    i have to VERY few people. what do people usually think your ethnicity is?   it's pretty obvious i'm caucasian. how do you feel about people using graphic images as a scare tactic to promote their beliefs? (i.e.: peta, abortion…)   do it.  DO IT.  it may be "too much" for someone, but that's how you initiate action, sometimes. ��now i mean if you're going to show something ludicrously morbid or something, sure, censor that, please.  some things truly are too much. do you think gender neutral bathrooms are a good idea?   i'm neutral. how about the transgender bathroom business? you know exactly what i'm talking about.   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TUMBLR WOULD FUCKING CLOSE MY ACCOUNT IF I SAID ONE WORD ABOUT THIS MATTER. what are some of your favorite websites for online shopping?   rebel's market makes me moist. do you think it’s fair that people are able to make a reasonable salary and live comfortable lives just by making youtube videos?   not in the slightest.  they're entertainers.  just like singers, comedians, etc... inspired by an event at my school: why do you think there’s so much girl-on-girl hate in our culture?   because the country's homophobic. do you have a nice yard? if so, do you spend a lot of time outside in it? if not, where do you go when you want to relax outdoors on nice days?   there's nothing special about it.  and there's nowhere for me to relax if i wanna go outside.  we have no chairs outside or whatever. is there a group of friends that you used to hang out with but no longer do? why don’t you hang out anymore and how do you feel about them now?   i'll admit i was a loose "member" of the gothic/emo/scene/metalheads/whatever clique in high school.  because i identified most with them.  like we all sat together at lunch and such.  it was hilarious, actually; overlooking the cafeteria, there'd just be this big splotch of black. xD  i didn't "know" everyone in the group, just names, just select people.  i miss a good number of them.  we just had this... weird, underlying connection that said "hey, you're like me." how many siblings does your significant other or crush have?   he has one older brother. what is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating?   WHERE THE FUCK IS "THE INCREDIBLES II" do you have any ideas for a story or movie you’re planning to write or you’d write if you got the time/had the talent? please share a synopsis!   i had plenty of story ideas as a kid, but none i never fully went through, except one.  i don't feel like sharing, mostly because i barely remember it. what is something that an interested guy/girl could comment about you, that would make you instantly open to them (e.g., “that book you’re reading is from my favorite author”)?   i wouldn't just magically say "OKAY I TRUST YOU," but it would in fact entice me to trust you easier.  probably if you mentioned being a gmm fan. do you refer to yourself by any sort of fan nickname (belieber, little monster, etc.)?   mythical beast, motherfucker! \m/ do you ever just get lazy and give up on your friendships?   no.  if you think you're going to "get lazy" with a friendship, omg, just fuck off. if you are single, even if you are normally happily single, are there certain specific things you witness that make you wish you were in a relationship (e.g., people getting engaged)?   honestly, i constantly wish i was.  that sounds very desperate and... easy-to-get-ish, but i'm not lying about myself on my own blog.  single life is very lonely to me personally.  i think almost every human seeks knowing someone is interested in them in that sense and will always be there. out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? do you use it for more than one site?   my name almost everywhere is "ozzkat," which i really like, as it combines two of my favorite things. are there any cities near you that you’re afraid to go to because of the crime rate or its other bad reputations?   fuck sharpsburg.  where i grew up. do you grandparents ever judge you or stick their heads in your business? if not, is there someone else in your life you dread seeing because of their unwanted input?   my maternal grandmother is... ugh.  she's very closed-minded about important issues; like she only JUST recently opened up her mind to mental illnesses because of some drama in my family transpiring.  so for a long time, my illnesses were invalid to her.  last time i saw her though, we got along quite well. have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)?   ha ha omg just a few days back i spent all day with colleen and chels looking up tats, pinning all those i wanted on pinterest! if you ever think about getting married, what are some aspects of the wedding that you would like to see in a non-traditional manner (e.g., a different color dress or “partners” over “husband” and “wife”)?   well first, i do not want a church wedding, and i'm sliiightly considering a black dress to go with the gothic theme i'm hoping for. do you ask for other people's opinions often? on what subjects do you like to get the opinions or advice of others?   yes, i love asking for other people's opinions, mainly when i'm about to make a controversial decision.  god bless the few friends i have that've always been there to give me advice when i need it. what are you religious views or your thoughts on religion in general? how long did it take you to develop them? are you still confused or trying to figure out your religious views?   i am a creationist christian, meaning i do not believe in evolution, but natural selection, as they go in opposite directions.  this is a VERY fascinating subject and i'd love to give anyone curious a link to the blog post that instilled this belief in me.  i also believe the world was not created in six literal days, but rather the "days" stood for junctures of time.  i'm not sure which christian denomination that is.  i was raised a catholic, so i've literally always believed in god, but i turned to christianity alone in high school i think, as well as creationism when my former best friend mini exposed me to it.  i am not confused in my religion, no.  i'm quite confident in it. are you a rule follower? do you get angry if other people break the rules? can you remember a time that you have broken a rule?   it depends on the rule, really.  ex. i won't kill a person, but i'll download a song illegally.  all depends on what it is, if i support the rule, or if it's legally punishable, honestly. what songwriter do you consider to be one of the best lyricists?   CRADLE OF FILTH AND OTEP OMG SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY have you ever cried from physical pain?   as an adult?  yeah.  i fucking sobbed when i was getting my cyst emptied. what do you like best about taking surveys? do you use them to discuss current events in your personal life?   i like that they give me a chance to just... vent.  i get to talk about my life, yes, and i at least believe i can do it without being lectured. do you feel comfortable being about people your own age? do you feel like you "fit in" with people your age? in general, do you like spending time with people older or younger than yourself?   i feel... inferior to most people my age, honestly.  i don't think i fit in because i do far more unimpressive things compared to most people of my age group.  i'm not in school, i have no job, i'm not traveling to europe, i'm not married, i'm not raising a kid... i just don't feel like i belong.  simultaneously though, i like hanging out with people older than me because they're usually more mature. have you ever read more than one book at once? do you do this often?   i'm sure i have for school, but i don't do that anymore.  i don't read period. what is your favorite book series, and what is your favorite book out of that series?   ha ha omg i was MAD into the "warriors" (you know, the cat books) series in middle school through some of high school.  maybe even in elementary, i don't remember.  i don't have a favorite book in the series though, i think. who do you think reads these?   *shrugs*  i've seen my surveys taken before by people (easy to tell when everything's lower-cased and long as fuck lmao), so i guess they may read some of my answers while adding in their own.  some random tumblr users find them too, probably. can you change the oil on a car?   i cannot. the first time you discovered power:   ... i don't want to go into much detail on this, because after i thought about this question for a minute or so, i realized i have only ever felt power in a sexual situation.  i'm such a submissive person and just don't experience feeling powerful.  after thinking just now, i think me being such the sexual tease i am has to do with feeling powerful.  this is... really wrong, but i enjoyed the anticipatory knowing that jason wanted me a certain way, and because he's a man with respect, i had the say whether he could have me or not.  please do not confuse this for me saying i was controlling with my ex-boyfriend, i was incredibly submissive to him in general, but i felt in control in some sense.  for once. SCARIEST video game monster?   but... i've played so many horror games!!  uhhhh... well, i HATED the regenerators in "resident evil 4."  that fucking smile was horrifying.  hmmm... i also really hate/love the keeper/boxhead from "the evil within" bECAUSE OF HIS FUCKING WALK/JOG.  THAT thing storming towards you like that?  NO THANKS!  the one monster, however, that i think would frighten me the most in real life would be the clickers from "the last of us."  fuck those things.  they're disgusting and horrid. something someone said or did that you found extremely attractive:   well i mean, tons of things.  the thing that i believe affected me the most though was probably the time jason, in a whisper, called me his wife while we were "doing things."  he started out so afraid of commitment, and to hear him call me that in such a confident-sounding whisper, it meant... a lot.  but well.  he's gone now. something you've done that someone at least seemed to FIND extremely attractive:   lmaaoooo i'm open af on tumblr but the thing i've ever done i think jason found the most attractive, i shall not repeat.  i promise, you'd thank me. the farthest distance you would travel now to be with someone you desire:   for jason?  i'd go to the other end of the planet. what you dislike most about having a committed relationship:   i mean, i guess after you've been with someone so long, you're afraid of leaving the person even when necessary for your health.  if you're in a healthy relationship though, there's nothing i can really think of to complain about... your sexiest feature:   ... can hands be sexy?  because they're the only thing i like lmao the physical feature for which you are most often complimented:   my hair, def. a place where you have always wanted to make love:   ... a church fucking murder me the most perverted situation you have ever been in:   LOLOLOL LET'S NOT the first time you achieved orgasm:   i never have, but i think i got like agonizingly close once and had a panic attack because i didn't understand what was going on.  yes, i am truly that pathetic lmao. a person you regret sleeping with:   no one. a person you regret not sleeping with:   first i don't regret literally sleeping with jason, but i'm assuming in this context, you mean "having sex with."  in that case, jason. a fantastic kisser you have known:   only ever kissed jason, and i am QUITE sure there's no one i'll meet who'll be better.  like ffs he only had one partner before me and certain things he did with me he didn't with his ex, yet he always seemed to know what to do...? the book, song, or movie title that best describes your sexuality:   uhhh.  idk? you have a great amount of guilt regarding:   practically sexting my former best friend's boyfriend when i was like 12.  and i was the one who got them together. a moment in your life when your emotions froze and you felt absolutely nothing:   when jason told me he was talking to dillon about our relationship in a negative context... i knew. you are haunted by the memory of:   everyone knows by now. one of your most peaceful moments:   lying with jason on the trampoline, looking up at the stars... a sickness or disease you fear:   more than anything?  alzheimer's/dementia.  i can't forget.  i can't.  i don't care how tragic my life's been, i don't want to fucking forget. a reason for which you would seriously contemplate suicide:   if jason died.  i'd more than consider it. your greatest fear about marriage:   divorce.  marriage is supposed to be for forever; i don't want to marry the wrong person. what's your mood right this minute?   i'm actually... okay-ish.  for once in my life.  i'm talking to my friend jax about a private subject, and it's opening my mind to some possibilities about certain things.  i feel like a weight's crumbling from my shoulders. ever had an internal worm?   NONONONONONONONONO PLEASE GOD NEVER THEY TERRIFY ME FUCK THAT have you ever been in a lighthouse?   no, but i'd love to. :< do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants?   i always get the same meal when i go to any restaurant. you have the option to have sex right now. do you do it?   only if it's with jason, yeah. would you ever lie to someone to make them feel good about themselves?   depends on the subject. do any medical problems run in your family?   OHHH GOD HERE GOES.  let's see.  heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, cancer, depression, anxiety, bipolarity, and i can absolutely guarantee i'm forgetting some... something you really want right now?   i'd rather not say. have you cuddled with someone you weren’t dating?   i have not. how long have you been using tumblr?   not even a year yet. what was the last pill you took?   idk.  i take my morning pills in bulk. where was the last place you got completely wasted?   i've never been completely wasted. describe god:   i'd... rather not with how life is right now. your most spiritual moment:   i still believe i had a dream once sent to me by god.  when i was much younger, i had a dream that i walked outside onto my front porch, and two geese, one white, one black, flew in sync with each other to perch before me.  they morphed into my grandfather, who smiled at me, and my former cat midnight, who meowed.  i really do feel like this was god reminding me my loved ones will always watch over me, because the feeling it gave me, it was holy. how you picture the end of the world:   the biblical definition, i guess.  pretty much everything that can go wrong, goes wrong.  it sounds terrifying. do you feel that most wars started because of religious conflicts?   i am honestly not knowledgeable about aaaall the wars in our history to determine this answer fairly.  i do, however, believe a good majority are related to religion. does life exist on other planets?   no.  speaking of "life on other planets," isn't it funny how a trace of water on mars is called life, but an unborn fetus isn't?? do you believe we are descendants of adam and eve?   yes, i do. the first step toward resolving poverty:   hunny, i wish i could tell you.  there are a LOT of factors to this. the worst crime against humanity:   hm.  i honestly don't know what i consider the worst.  i'll think about that and come back to this question if i think of anything. the minimum punishment for those who molest children should be:   fucking kill them. your most beautiful childhood memory of your parents:   probably something regarding fishing... your most horrifying childhood memory of your parents:   hearing my mom screaming in ashley's room, calling her a slut, a whore, worrying i'd be in ashley's place some day... a friend you would name as a godparent to your child:   if we're even still friends then... colleen. the moment you are most ashamed of:   i've told this story enough times.  it's the same moment i'm most embarrassed of. someone who shared this moment with you:   um.  his name is joel. what do you think of people who have fake relationship statuses (like married to their best friend) on facebook?   i mean it's whatever, but it may be frustrating if you wanna know if that person is really in a relationship without asking. if your employer looked at your facebook page, do you think they'd fire you?   lmao after seeing i'm conservative, i'm sure. do you wish facebook had a "dislike" button or would that cause too many arguments?   i'm neutral.  i see both sides. who's your favorite band? how long have they been your favorite?   ozzy and metallica have been two of favorites since middle school started, and the others, i don't really remember.  my most recent favorite band tho is a day to remember, who i've liked for a bit over a year now. do you get annoyed when people try to get you to like their music, even though you've told them before that it's just not your thing?   that's never really happened to me.  now, i've been told my music is pretty much devil music and is nothing about depression, death, and despair because my best friend's fucking ignorant, but she hasn't tried to control the kind of music i like exactly. last concert you were at? was it good?   alice cooper, and it was EPIC.  it was storming and we were all soaking wet outside.  he did that illusion where his head gets chopped off by a guillotine, which was REALLY cool.  towards the end, huge balls were being passed through the crowd and he sang a rendition of "another brick in the wall" by pink floyd and it was just.  holy shit it was badass. who was your favorite band in elementary school? do you still listen to them?   it was probably green day, and yeah, i love them. looking at your appearance alone, would people be surprised to learn that you listen to the music that you do (ex. do you dress goth but listen to country)?   it's pretty obvious what i listen to. pro-gay rights or anti-gay rights?   i am for rights towards certain parts of the LGBTQ+ community.  i'm sorry to tell you, but i sincerely believe there are... certain sexual/gender-oriented decisions... that are not "real."  i won't go into detail on tumblr because it's a liberal parade and frankly i don't feel like hearing it. separation of church and state or no?   DEPENDS DEPENDS DEPENDS.  it REALLY depends on the very unique situation. prayer in school, yay or nay?   you'd best let a child pray to themselves in school. free healthcare (like in canada), good or bad?   make it free, yes. using the word "slut" against women--okay or not okay?   against a woman who deserves it?  sure.  before every fucking reader gets triggered, a slut is merely defined as a feminine character who has multiple sexual partners without much commitment.  ummm, last time i checked, there are women who do JUST that???  it's just a fact???  i'm white.  you can call me white without fucking offending me.  same thing for a "slut," i'd merely be stating a fact about you.  people have made such a big fucking deal out of this word. if you were pregnant, how long would you wait to write something about it on facebook?   OH BOY IT'D BE QUICK.  probably right after my husband knew, really!  i've already got pregnancy announcements planned!  i want to make a really creative pregnancy announcement photograph with my hubby, those are like... my favorite pictures ever. (: when you're on a first date with someone, do you like it when they ASK if they can kiss you?   i'm not really into the idea of a first date kiss, but yeah, i think i'd appreciate being asked. in your opinion, is omitting some of the truth the same thing is lying?   hm.  i do believe i- well... i don't know.  it depends on what you say, i guess, but in general, you're not lying yet...? what's your favorite kind of lip piercing? (monroe, labret, snakebites, etc.)   vertical labret!!!  i really like these because i feel it enunciates the symmetry of your face. what's the most annoying "type" of drunk person?   well i mean, this is far more repulsive than annoying, but angry drunks. at what time in your life were you happiest? if it was in the past, would you want to go back and relive it, though still knowing all the things you know now? if you had the option, would you choose (if it’s in the present) or have chosen to stay here/there forever and never learn anything new?   the whole time i was dating jason.  the first one or two years were the best.  but would i go back there, knowing what i do now?  no.  i can't.  there's no way i could. when is the right time to start having sex with someone you’ve become romantically interested in?   honestly this is the same thing as a question i answered earlier today about when to consider getting engaged.  time doesn't really determine this, but rather the intensity of the bond created.  in general again though, i'd personally wait about a year, i suppose, to ensure you're both very serious about these feelings. if you honestly heard the voice of god talking to you, would you tell anyone? how would you tell them? (i.e., "Conversations with god" is a result of the author claiming to have heard god’s voice loud and clear, but some people would have gone packing to the mental institution, and others would have told their church… etc.)   i would hate that, honestly.  i don't wanna be hearing voices, regardless of who you are.  but i do believe i'd tell my mom, but probably only her. have your parents ever told you that you couldn’t hang out with a certain someone?   that i couldn't, no, that they didn't recommend it, yes. could you forgive a boyfriend or friend who physically hurt you?   LMAO NOPE BYE FAM do you take care of your friends when they’re sick?   the only person i've ever truly taken care of when sick was jason when he had bronchitis. do you own any real diamonds or other expensive jewelry?   i don't think so. has anyone ever gave you jewelry as a present?   mhmm. do you like diamonds or gemstones better?   other gemstones, def. silver or gold?   gold.  i find it prettier and i can't wear silver anyway, i'm allergic. what kind of soda is your favorite?   mountain dew, shamefully. do you use any acne products?   not anymore. what do you take when you have an upset stomach?   peptobismol do you get angry when people criticize your taste in music, or do you just shrug it off?   when people say they don't like it, not at all, but if you're gonna straight-up criticize it like it's "bad" or "wrong" or something...?  i won't get angry, but definitely annoyed.  i find it aesthetically pleasing.  you find your music aesthetically pleasing.  shut the fuck up. have you ever smoked?   i have not.