#(but believable from dean)

[daftmooncretin]

last three seasons spn are crazy. its just dean being borderline suicidal while sam tries to fix it by basically dangling his keys at him and going : “dean look! cowboys!” “dean look! strip club!” “dean look! haunted action figure.”

Meanwhile castiel is like i see that dean is suicidal, this is clearly my fault so i will remedy this by dying.

[crooner-deans-walkman]

written for the @destielvalentineszine2025

transcription under the cut

a dream that i can live in

In the early hours of the night, in the still and silent darkness, I sit awake envisioning the life we could have created. The life we should’ve had together.

I see me retired. With my hair grown out, my belly rounded, and my hard edges have been dulled by time.

My hands are calloused. Not from gun slinging nor grave digging, but from wrench turning and guitar playing.

I see you standing in a lush garden, hands lovingly working into the earth. You're surrounded by a sea of blossoms, and it takes the very air from my lungs. You’ve never looked so beautiful to me.

I see us slowly dancing, swaying ‘cross the kitchen floor on our clumsy, sock-clad feet, as a crooning record turns in tandem with our shuffling feet.

We’ve got a home that I built with care. With windows where sunbeams can stream in. And there's a shaded wraparound porch, with a swing facing towards the west, where we can sit and watch the sunset.

And in the still and silent darkness as I am sat awake and dreaming, reality rears its ugly head and I recall the life we're living; Where you're gone and I am lost without you.

[mayasdeluca]

Easter Eggs in Station 19: 7x09 'How Am I Supposed To Live Without You' List made here by a fan and writer of the episode

[shedontlovehuhself]

I think about this at least once a week.

[daddario]

Sam and Dean lacking personal space in every episode - 7/327

[mishaesque]

Scenic Supernatural Season 1

[youchoseeachother]

Sam, getting to know Dean in season 1.

[boykingscourt]

"sam how do you not remember-" umm his OWN CHILDHOOD WHAT DO YOU MEAN???

[aerialworms-art]

"Somehow I always knew you'd come back."

Happy November 5th!

Click for quality! (ID under cut)

[Image ID: A digital painting of Castiel and Dean from Supernatural.

They are in the Empty; darkness swirls around them. However, they are both well lit. They are hugging each other, and Cas' rainbow coloured wings are wrapped around them both, forming a vague heart shape. Dean is wearing his green jacket, still with Cas' bloody handprint on the shoulder. He has his back towards the 'camera'. Cas' face is visible. He's leaning into Dean, smiling beatifically, eyes closed in happiness. They're clutching each other tightly.

It is signed '@aerialworms' beneath Cas' left wing. /End ID]

[kerryweaverlesbian]

Dean Winchester of Supernatural fame is NOT reading parenting books he is putting on Cheaper By The Dozen, Daddy Daycare and Honey I Shrunk The Kids taking notes.

[sammygender]

not indirecting anyone but i keep seeing the take that sam has power over dean because dean is so attached to and dependent on him. like it’s everywhere. and its just soooo fundamentally flawed. that is not how anything works. not to sound like a broken record but that type of dynamic (where one partner, the aggressor, views themselves as in fact controlled/dictated by the whims of the other) is actually very standard in an abusive relationship…

whether or not sam has ‘power’ over dean in this way is functionally irrelevant because his ‘power’ extends to his ability to somehow, what, psychically manipulate dean into doing what he wants?? whereas dean’s ‘power’ over sam is making sure sam adheres to exactly what he’s decided sam should do and punishing him if he doesnt do that, and deciding he has ultimate control over sam’s own decisions about his life (see main plot events of s4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, so on and so forth…).

[wigglebox]

“I know who you love… what you fear…”

[costarcowboy]

Mad respect to James dean bradfield because if richey gave me the lyrics to the songs on the holy bible and asked me to set them to music I’d kill myself way before he had the chance to

[winbred]

I like to imagine Sam Winchester pre-Stanford has the most toxic/possessive idea of love ever. He wants to be Dean's number one, he wants reminders. A blood pact, matching jewelry, matching bites, testing what Dean would drop to be at his side. Whatever he can get.

It isn't out of distrust, but something in his heart is satisfied when Deans with him and expresses his admiration for Sam because he adores Dean too. To Sam, it just is them two together forever, and it will be. Dean is endeared by it, his cute but clearly dangerously clingy and emotionally unstable brother who should never worry about having to be second place to anything in Dean's life.

But when Dean is silent when Sam is arguing with John about him going to college, Sam's world falls apart as that is the first true and outright rejection (at least in his scrambled, warped mind) from his big brother. It should be the two together, running away. Dean picked John, of course, he would how stupid can he be.

He's heartbroken and he's gone. When Sam and Dean meet again in Season 1 it's almost freaky to the Dean, Sam's unwillingness to leave behind school, his girlfriend for the family, for him. He guesses Sam's learned to be 'normal' now and knows how to love appropriately. But his attachment is there, hidden. The fact in seasons later Sam asks Dean to use him to get out his emotions and frustrations is a showcase of that. Desperation.

[nyc-pizza-rat]

okay thinking about her

the tree bark at his back scratches him as he shifts. there are bruises on his skin that sting. he feels the slide of blood at his temple, unsettling and unfamiliar, even after all these years. castiel looks down at his hands, a little calloused, now, and wrinkling, and tries to center himself. there is dirt on his palms, under his fingernails. a small cut on his index finger that is loud and sharp. he curls his fists and tries to reach within himself. the well of his grace has been running low for a while, now, and castiel hasn't been sure of...well, anything.

it's harder to find his dimming grace within, here in purgatory. harder still to coax it to the surface. sweat beads at his brow but castiel keeps his fingers clenched, mumbles to himself in enochian — words to songs of praise and comfort and strength that mean so little now, and yet come to him easy.

there is a thin stream of silver light, and castiel heaves a breath, sinks further into the hollow of the tree. he unclenches his fist, and there are red half-moons carved into his palm. the cut is gone, but there is a scar, still, and castiel cannot stop looking at it. it looks like a thin tear in fabric, like the cracks in between the worlds that let them through. it looks like the beginning of the end.

he rubs his thumb over the scar, feels the slight raise of his skin. his thoughts begin to spin, and all he can focus on is the heat building at the back of his neck, the rushing of blood in his ears. suddenly, then, a ripple within. a breeze by his ear that pull at his core. that compels him to quiet, to listen.

someone, somewhere, is invoking him in prayer.

his grace surges now, easy as it hasn't been in a while, and while it doesn't heal him still, castiel feels more angel than he has in a long time.

Cas, I hope you can hear me... that wherever you are, it's not too late.

castiel sighs, something inside him relaxing. he hadn't even noticed the way his muscles had been pulled taut. hadn't noticed the tendrils of fear creeping into his heart. dean's alive. dean's alive.

I should've stopped you.

castiel swallows. digs his fingers into his thighs. his grace spins out, trying to find the source of the prayer. It's harder than it is on earth, and harder than it should be for an angel of his caliber, but castiel keeps trying.

You're my best friend, but I just let you go. 'Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong.

castiel wishes dean would stop saying these things. he bites his cheek, listening, following dean's voice. he's always following dean's voice, even when he doesn't want to.

I – Ohh. I don't know why I get so angry. I just know – I know that it's – i-it's just always been there. And when things go bad, it just – it comes out. And I can't -- I can't stop it. No matter how –

dean breaks, and castiel pauses, stares at the blinking doorway that will lead them back onto earth. back into a battle that they are bound to lose. he thinks about jack, lost forever. about chuck, who cannot be beaten. about the pointlessness of what they are doing, the desperation with which he has been clinging to hope.

— how bad I want to, I just can't stop it.

he wishes he could see dean. there is something solid pressing against the back of his throat, like he has swallowed a rock, like it is blocking the air. his eyes sting. he wishes dean would just — just talk to him.

And — And I — I forgive you. Of course I forgive you.

castiel shakes his head. his wings are more bone than anything else, skeletons he lugs around because he cannot bear to sever them from his trueform. now they twitch, twined with his grace as they are. castiel lets them curl inwards, pretends he can feel them whole, their warmth, the comfort of it.

I'm sorry it took me so long – I'm sorry it took me till now to say it. Cas, I'm – I'm so sorry.

castiel forgives him, despite everything. thinks he'd forgiven him long before this, before dean ever thought to ask. he wonders if dean knows that castiel doesn't know how to loathe him, even if he wanted to.

longing surges out to him, the pull of the prayer strengthened by cords of need, of want.

dean thinks he's dead, and he's desperate for him to not be. castiel knows what dean can be like, when he loses those he considers kin, when he's even faced with the prospect of losing them.

Man, I hope you can hear me. I hope you can hear me.

longing can feel a lot like love.

angels were never meant to decipher the nuances of human emotion, and despite all the time he's spent on earth, even castiel is not all that good at it. so when prayer is made with longing, it can feel a lot like love.

and maybe it is. castiel doesn't know.

it's almost unsettling, the way warmth bleeds into his trueform, as dean finishes praying, as he makes his way closer. castiel tries to reign in his weak grace, pulsing away under his skin. tries to not let himself get carried away.

he looks up at the grey sky, the sunless world he is trapped in. he thinks about the empty. he thinks about his son.

maybe it isn't. human love is so complicated, after all.

somewhere to his right, footsteps. castiel breathes, wills his lungs to loosen, his heart to slow. he pulls the leviathan blossom out of his coat pocket. all that fighting and the fidgeting has smushed it a little. he rubs a thumb over one of its strange petals, and puts it back in his coat.

dean is getting closer. castiel can hear him breathing now. can hear the way his heart races.

he gathers himself and pushes out of the hollow of the tree. straightens a little.

"dean," he calls. he sounds tired, even to his own ears. human. god. "you made it."

[thezephyrus7]

Which version do you guys prefer??? (Also flash warning for the speed paint)