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maximoffcarter · 6 months ago

Text

I've got you.

Pairings: Casey Novak x reader.

Summary: Casey Novak's past definitely changed something in her, changed so many aspects of her life, there were so many things she thought she'd never be able to do again, like love someone or be loved. But that changed completely when she met the very clingy and lovely y/n.

A/n: This was requested by an anon, they requested some prompts and I tried to use them as best as I could; "The hugs that have you tugging them closer and closer to you that now both of you have trouble breathing and then pulling away laughing", "Snuggling up to you while wearing your hoodie that they look so cute in". I hope I did this right, because I feel like this is not exactly good, but here it is, some cute Casey fluff🥹 And I promise that more Calex, more Alex, and more Casey are coming soon. I'll try to finish the requests I have, and hopefully there will be more to come. Hope you guys enjoy this, leave comments, hearts, whatever you like and reblog so this gets some love🫶🏻

*not my gif*

Throughout her whole life, Casey Novak was the type of girl that was energetic, her mother would say she was full of life. She was the kind of kid that loved hugging people, loved to make people smile and laugh, she had always been a happy kid. Growing up, she hasn’t changed much, she was still pretty much full of happiness and life, even if there were a lot of things going on, she still tried to keep that cheery energy she always had. That was until she started questioning so many things in her life, and then by college, she met Charlie. Things seemed to be alright, she had met someone that loved her and that accepted her for who she was; at least, that’s what she thought the first few months. She sometimes hated to admit that she was a clingy person, but she just wanted to show her partner love, but he pushed her away, he told her it was exhausting how energetic and cheery she was, and that’s when Casey started changing completely.

After Charlie, Casey didn’t really believe in love, she didn’t really trust many people, she never felt like opening up to them, showing that side of her that she had loved. She focused more on getting where she had dreamt of, and then focus on her job. And that’s how it went for a while. Joining Sex Crimes had brought so many memories back, she really didn’t think how hard the job would be until she had her first few cases. She tried to act tough, she tried for the cases not to get to her, even if after getting home, she’d do nothing more than cry. It was hard. But it was her job. And then, she met y/n.

It had been a random day, Casey was not even supposed to be having lunch at that time, but her arraignment had ended before time and so she decided to take the opportunity to get some lunch. Her card had declined, and she had forgotten to carry cash, but an angel had showed up that day and was kind enough to pay for Casey’s lunch. And that’s how it all started. After almost two months of coffee dates, lunch dates, dinner dates, etc., they finally made it official, which, it was a true surprise for Casey, because she never really expected that she’d be this happy again; no…she never expected she could actually be this happy, because this was like nothing else she ever knew. This was entirely a new feeling, which scared her the most, but partly, she was willing to try this, even if at the end…this could end bad.

It had been a few months since they both had made it official, they both couldn’t be happier with their relationship, already having their routines, seeing each other every possible chance, even the squad noticed Casey’s change, which…made them happy to see her happy, though it wasn’t confirmed, they had an idea of what was going on. Casey had been working throughout the whole day, arraignment after arraignment, she had a trial, and then paperwork, so all day long, she had been busy. The last thing she had expected was for her girlfriend to show up at work. She had been distracted with paperwork that she didn’t notice her girlfriend leaning over the doorframe, smiling as she stared at Casey. She then knocked on the door and her smile widened as Casey looked up at her.

“You’re here.” Casey smiled as she dropped her pen and stood up.

Y/n chuckled softly as she walked inside the office. “Of course I am. I saw your text, and I was sure that you wouldn’t eat dinner and just stay here.” She smiled softly as she placed the bag of food on the table and then walked to Casey, wrapping her arms around Casey’s waist.

Casey chuckled softly as she wrapped her arms around her neck and kissed her forehead. “And you had to be my knight in shining armor.”

“Always.” Y/n smiled as she pecked her lips and then hugged her tightly, burying her face in Casey’s neck.

Years ago, Casey would have been the one to give a hug like this, one where she tightly wrapped her arms around them, but she couldn’t even remember the last time she had hugged someone like this. The first time y/n hugged her like that, she had felt a bit odd about it and had felt bad about it, but she didn’t tell y/n. But the more y/n, the more Casey got used to it…the more she loved those hugs. Y/n squeezed, making Casey ‘dramatically’ gasp and they slowly pulled away, Casey’s arms slipping from her neck to be replaced by her hands, laughing as she leaned her forehead against y/n’s.

Casey pecked her lips softly and then smiled. “I’m glad you’re here. You’re…staying, right?” She looked into her eyes, a hint of hope in her own.

Y/n’s smile widened. “You really thought I’d leave you here alone? I brought my own work with me, need to grade some tests.”

Casey’s heart warmed at her words, her own smile widening. “Good, let’s eat first and then we get to work.”

Y/n nodded. “Sounds great to me.”

********************

It was Casey’s turn to do dinner tonight, it was their second week in their new apartment. Casey would be lying if she said she was not afraid at first of taking this big step in their relationship, the last time she had been in this situation, she had felt like she had lost part of herself. But after all, she had been the one suggesting this, because she had pictured herself living with y/n, waking up next to her, being breakfast to bed and just enjoying their free days together. No planning on ‘today at yours, tomorrow at mine’, it was now ‘I’ll see you home’. Casey was finishing up dinner when she felt arms wrapping around her, making her chuckle softly.

“You should be in bed, I’m almost done with dinner.” Casey smiled as she looked at her over her shoulder.

Y/n sighed as she rested her chin on Casey’s shoulder. “But I’ve slept enough. C’mon, Case. I’m feeling better. It was just the flu shot.”

“And yet, you got the flu.” Casey chuckled softly as she turned in y/n’s arms. “Are you sure you’re feeling better?”

Y/n nodded. “Yeah…just…missing you in bed.” She smiled softly.

Casey chuckled as she leaned down and kissed her forehead. “You’re adorable, you know?” She then wrapped her arms around y/n’s waist and hugged her tightly, burying her face in the crook of her neck.

“C-Case! Can’t breathe!” Y/n laughed softly as she wrapped her arms around Casey’s neck.

“Oops?” Casey laughed softly as she pulled away enough to look down at y/n, smiling softly. “Get back in bed and I’ll bring dinner?”

“Dinner will be…you?” Y/n grinned.

“Nice try, you still look tired, baby. But…” Casey pecked her lips softly. “…maybe tomorrow, when you feel better.”

Y/n chuckled. “How come you get to take care of me, but I can never take care of you?” She raised her brow as she stared at Casey.

Casey sighed. “Because I don’t need to be taken care of. I’m a big girl.” She smirked.

“Oh, and I’m not?”

“You’re my baby.” Casey said softly as she leaned down to kiss her lips softly. Before she gave it a second thought, she picked up y/n in bridal style, laughing again as y/n squealed and wrapped her arms around her neck.

“Casey! Put me down!” Y/n laughed softly.

“Nope, taking you back to bed so we can have dinner and watch movies.”

Casey had talked about it with y/n before, she liked to take care of her girlfriend, she liked to be the person that she needed, the person she looked for, and now that they were living together, Casey got to do all that and more, and she loved how happy y/n was. And she was happy too, she was the happiest she has ever been, but…she was still afraid to open up, she was still afraid to show that side of her where she needed someone, where she wanted nothing but being wrapped around their arms. It was frustrating, because she enjoyed when y/n showered her with love, when she was being clingy, when she wanted nothing more than have Casey hugging her or cuddling her, but then she overthought about it, and she thought that soon enough all of that would end, once Casey opened up more, y/n would leave.

********************

It was finals season, so Casey knew that y/n would be extra busy, which resulted in Casey hiding the fact that she had been feeling sick the last two days. She woke up pretty early in the morning to leave, and come back home pretty late so y/n wouldn’t notice this. She now sat at her desk, her hands buried in her hair and her eyes closed as she tried to ignore the agonizing headache. She groaned softly as she heard a knock on the door, looking up to find Olivia walking into the office.

“Case…are you okay?” Olivia asked softly as she furrowed her brows.

“I uh…yeah. I’m perfectly fine.” Casey nodded. “You need something?”

Olivia tilted her head as she smiled. “You’re sick, aren’t you?”

Casey sighed as she rubbed her face. “Stress and weather didn’t exactly agree.”

“Yeah, well, is that time of the year.” Olivia chuckled. “Why don’t you go home?”

“Because…I’m fine.” Casey shrugged as she grabbed her pen and tried to go back to her paperwork.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re stubborn?” Olivia grinned.

Casey looked back at Olivia, grinning softly. “Just a couple of times.”

“Why don’t you go home?”

Casey sighed softly. “My girlfriend will find out that I’m sick.”

Olivia raised her brows. “And…that’s a problem…why?”

“I don’t want her to worry.”

“She’s your girlfriend. She should worry, and-“

“I don’t want to be a burden to her, I…I become…annoying when I’m sick. I just…” Casey sighed. “I don’t know. It’s a lot.”

“Charlie. Right?” Olivia sat down in one of the chairs as she stared at Casey.

Casey looked up at Olivia as she nibbled on her lip. “Yeah.”

Olivia nodded. “For what you’ve told me about your girlfriend, she really does love you, Casey. And you know what I think? That she’d do anything for you, just like you’d do anything for her. And you showing that you need her…that’s not gonna change the way she thinks about you. I think she’ll be happy that you need her.”

Casey stared at her for a moment, her eyes getting watery as she nodded. “I used to be a person who would love to hug people, you know? Who would…who would be such a cheery and happy person. And I love making y/n smile and laugh. God, she looks so beautiful when she’s smiling.” She huffed a chuckle. “And I’m afraid that if I’m clingier…she’ll just…I don’t know…”

“She’ll love it. Because she loves you for you.”

Casey smiled softly as she tried to hold back her tears. “So, you don’t need anything from me?”

Olivia shook her head. “Go home and call your girlfriend.”

Casey didn’t take long before she chose to listen to Olivia. She grabbed all of her stuff and before she left, she headed to Elizabeth’s office to let her know she was leaving. Once she got home, she sighed heavily as she felt odd, this was not like her but in reality, she really did feel bad. She texted y/n and went ahead to change into comfortable clothes. She thought about making some tea and taking some pills to feel better, but as she took her time to do her normal routine after work, she heard the door opening and closing, making her walk out of their room confused as to how fast y/n had come home.

“Y/n? I texted you like…20 min ago.”

Y/n nodded. “And you thought I’d just ignore your text and come until later? Case, why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” She said softly as she put her stuff away, taking her shoes off before walking to Casey, placing her hand carefully on her forehead. “God, you’re burning up, Case.”

Casey chuckled softly. “It’s not as bad as it looks.”

Y/n tilted her head as she smiled a little. “Oh, here comes stubborn Novak.”

Casey gasped as she smiled a little. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re gonna say you’re fine, that you just need to sleep, and then you won’t let me do anything for you.” Y/n raised her brow as she grinned.

Casey stared at her and sighed softly, her hands going to y/n’s waist to pull her closer. “You’re right. But…I do need you.”

Y/n’s face softened as she stared at Casey, a smile appearing on her face. “You do?”

Casey nodded as she smiled. She leaned down as she tugged y/n closer, burying her face in the crook of her neck. Suddenly, she felt emotional and once again, her eyes started watering. Y/n furrowed her brows as she wrapped her arms around Casey, cradling her head and running her fingers through her hair. She suddenly felt Casey’s body trembling and that’s when she understood. Y/n sighed softly as she held Casey, holding her tighter and kissing her head.

“Talk to me?” Y/n whispered softly.

“I-I need you. And I’m…I was…I was afraid if I told you…you’d see the mess I was. I didn’t want you to figure out that…that what I went through had caused me so much pain and trauma.” Casey sniffled, her voice cracking with every word. “But I need you. And I want to open up to you. And right now…right now I feel so bad. I feel…my whole body hurts badly.”

Y/n’s heart broke; Casey had cried in front of her before, she had been a little vulnerable, but not like this. Never like this. “Baby…nothing could ever make me change the way I see you or think about you. I love you. So much.” She kissed her head again and sighed softly.

Casey pulled away enough to look at her, tears rolling down her cheeks. “You mean it?”

Y/n smiled. “You know…when you think I’m sleeping…I can feel you pulling me closer to you. And at times, you do it unconsciously.” She huffed a chuckle as she wiped her tears. “I know I’ve seen most of you, maybe not all of it but…I want to. I want to know Casey. The good and the bad. Whatever you have to give…I want it.”

Casey smiled through her tears. “Even if I’m clingier than you?”

Y/n chuckled. “Oh, we gonna have competition now?”

Casey shrugged. “Maybe so.” She smiled softly.

“Then be it, Novak. You win in court, I win here.” Y/n chuckled softly as she leaned in and pecked her lips softly. “So…will you let me take care of you?”

Casey smiled as she nodded. “Please? I’m…so tired. I just want to lay in bed and cuddle you.”

Y/n smiled, running her hand through Casey’s hair. “Then let’s go to bed. But, let me get the thermometer first and some medicine.”

Casey nodded. “Sure.”

Y/n kissed the tip of her nose and was about to move to the kitchen but before she did, she grabbed Casey’s hand and stopped her from walking away, furrowing her brows. “You’re…are you wearing my hoodie?” She smiled softly.

Casey looked down at the hoodie and then up at y/n, smiling shyly. “You mind?”

Y/n’s smile widened, and she shook her head, leaning in and kissing her dimple. “Not at all. You look beautiful in it. I love seeing you in it.”

Casey smiled and then walked back to their bedroom. Once y/n got everything she needed, she walked to their room and checked on Casey before she laid in bed with her. Y/n knew there was so much they had to talk about, but right now, right in this moment, she just wanted to hold Casey. The way Casey had wrapped her arms around her middle, buried her face in her neck, tightening her arms around her every now and then…y/n could get used to this. She wanted this forever, she loved Casey so much that she’d do anything for her. She was ready to love Casey.

#casey novak #casey novak x reader #casey novak fic #svu fic #law and order svu #svu

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maximoffcarter · 4 months ago

Text

We can't be friends.

Pairings: Casey Novak x reader.

Summary: Casey Novak's girlfriend seemed to be the perfect one after college, but focusing fully on her job was not exactly helpful to her love life. After years, she comes to find her past lover again, only this time...things had changed.

A/n: Surpriiiiise✨ This was requested by an anon a looong time ago when I said you guys could request song fics, and I am truly sorry haha🥴 Most of the requests I have are old, so bear with me, promise I'm getting all requests. And yes...this is angst. No second part I'm afraid🥲 But fluff will come...eventually. And I promise that more Calex, more Alex, and more Casey are coming soon. I'll try to finish the requests I have, and hopefully there will be more to come. Hope you guys enjoy this, leave comments, hearts, whatever you like and reblog so this gets some love🫶🏻

*not my gif*

It all started like the perfect love story; Casey and y/n met at the coffee shop where Casey was working at the time. It had been an accident, Casey running into y/n and almost throwing the coffee she had in hands, and to apologize, Casey invited her a coffee and that’s where the spark began. Y/n thought it was cute how Casey had done everything to apologize even if she had done nothing, after all and after rethinking of their incident, y/n figured out it had actually been her fault, but neither said a thing, because both of them actually enjoyed talking toe ach other, and that’s where it all began. Weeks later, they had created a routine where y/n would show up and study while she waited for Casey to finish her shift, then both of them would spend the whole afternoon together until it was time to go separate ways. In y/n’s mind, Casey was the perfect person, the girl of her dreams; she was sweet, she was cute, she was kind, she was beautiful, she was smart, she was not afraid to be who she was.

Their relationship started after a few dates and a night of drinks where both of them confessed their love for each other, and y/n thought she was living the best love story she had ever seen or heard of. They both understood their careers, having some hectic hours at times, having to focus on finals or projects, at times they barely had time to see each other but they both knew they would be waiting for one another. And then, Casey asked her to move in with her, and things couldn’t have been more perfect. Mornings and nights together, every now and then their afternoons were also spent together, the whole living room floor full of papers, books, and notebooks, but they couldn’t have it any other way, not when they were together. They were both soon to graduate, and they were already looking at their professional lives, but something they had never mentioned was their future. It was something neither of them had thought about. They had already been dating for the last two years, the conversation didn’t seem important, and yet, y/n couldn’t help but keep it in mind.

“Case…I gotta ask you something.” Y/n bit her lip nervously as she stared at Casey.

Casey raised her brow curiously as she smiled. “Alright…what is it?”

Y/n sighed softly as she smiled. “I know we both agreed that we want to stay here in New York, that’s decided…but…do you really see a future…with me?”

“Oh, baby.” Casey chuckled softly as she moved close to y/n, wrapping her arms around her, kissing her forehead softly. “Do you really believe that I’d want anything else? Why wouldn’t I see it?” She smiled softly, her fingers running through y/n’s hair. “I’m not sure what the future holds for us but…I want you in it.”

Y/n smiled softly as she nodded. “I do too.” She huffed a chuckle as she shrugged. “I just…I don’t know. I guess I just…we’ve been so focused with school and graduation.”

Casey tilted her head as she grinned. “And you’re afraid that we will part ways. We still have a whole year for graduation.”

Y/n nodded. “I know.” She smiled. “I just…” she sighed as she placed her hand on Casey’s chest, playing with her necklace. “I don’t think I see myself with anyone else but you.”

Casey smiled as she leaned in and kissed her lips softly. “Neither do I. We’ve made our relationship work so far, we’ll make it work after we graduate.”

Y/n smiled as she leaned in to kiss her lips softly. “You right. We’ll make it work.”

Casey nodded as she wrapped her arms around y/n’s legs to move her to her lap. “Now, what do you say we take a break, hmm?” She grinned as she kissed her neck softly. “Just to relax a bit.”

“Of course you’d suggest that Ms. Novak.” Y/n chuckled softly as she wrapped her arms around Casey’s neck and kissed her lips.

********************

Y/n should’ve seen it coming. After graduation, everything had been good, everything was still perfect. They both went to each other’s graduation, they even made a trip together to celebrate, things still seemed perfect. But they had different careers, they had different thoughts about what they wanted to do, and to be honest, she didn’t expect to have such an amazing offer so quickly, the chance to have an amazing future ahead of her, but her future also included Casey. She wanted it to include Casey, but again…Casey had also her plans, she also had in mind what she wanted to do with her life, not only professionally but also personally. Yes, they both had agreed to stay in New York, they both had made it clear that they wanted each other in their lives, but that was until Casey started to figure out that it wasn’t just about their relationship, it was about their professional lives too. Before y/n knew it, Casey was distant, she had started working at a bureau that was a big deal, she had a mentor that saw a great future for her. She had a chance to do what she wanted to do, and y/n couldn’t stop her from it.

But then, the lonely nights started, barely talking to each other, barely seeing each other because Casey was busy, she had stuff to do, and y/n only found out because she heard Casey talking on the phone. When y/n got her offer, she couldn’t even tell Casey because she was busy, and she barely made it home for dinner. Most of the nights, Casey only came home to sleep and before y/n could wake up, she was gone. Not that y/n wasn’t busy with her own life too, working at a hospital was not exactly the easiest, and it wasn’t exactly what she had expected. Y/n pushed the offer for a few weeks, waiting to talk to Casey about it, but Casey was only focused on her stuff. And when the time to talk about it finally showed up, it wasn’t exactly what y/n had expected.

“Wait…you’re upset?”

Casey shrugged as she looked at y/n. “I thought we had agreed we would stay here in New York.”

Y/n raised her brows, a little surprised. “Oh…I mean. Yeah, sure but…I mean, we had agreed we would stay in Boston, and now we’re here in Manhattan. I had to transfer.” She tilted her head. “I transferred so you could accept your offer.”

“And you hid your offer for weeks.” Casey snapped.

Y/n scoffed as she nodded. “You know why I did it? Because all you’ve done has been work. You spend more time with Mary than you spend time with me. And that’s hypocritical of me, because I’m at the hospital most of the time, but I try to make time for you, and then, you don’t even come home.”

“You knew that out first year was everything about adjusting. I’m sorry I spend so much time at the office, I cannot help it.”

Y/n nodded. “And I know that, Casey. Trust me. I am not asking you to drop everything for me. But if I hid the offer, was because I was not sure what to do. I was not sure what I wanted, because I want you in my life. We agreed to that.”

“And you’re rubbing it in my face that I made you transfer to a place you didn’t even want to be in. And I’m sorry about that, but you made that choice. I didn’t force you.”

“I never said you did! God, Casey. Are you really trying to pick up a fight right now? I was honest. I wanted you to know about the offer, I wanted you to be aware of what’s happening in my life. But…” she shrugged. “Here I am. Waiting for you to notice me. You cling to your papers and pens, and I’m just here waiting for you.” Y/n felt tears in her eyes as she stared at Casey. “I did what I said I’d never do. And I did it because I wanted to, and you’re upset because I got an offer? Or why are you trying to pick up a fight? I never said I’d accept it.”

“Then maybe I should make the choice for you.” Casey crossed her arms as she stared at y/n. “You should go to California.”

Y/n furrowed her brows. “What?”

“You heard me. This…us? “We’re not working anymore, y/n.” Casey shook her head as she looked away. “I don’t…” She sighed softly as she nibbled on her lip. “It’s better this way.”

Y/n stared at her as tears rolled down her cheeks. “For me or for you?”

Casey looked back at her, tears in her eyes too. “Y/n…”

“Save it.” Y/n scoffed. “You’ve been thinking about this for so long. You were just waiting for the perfect moment. What happened to…it’s just me and you? It was us against anything…but I get it. You don’t see me in your future anymore.” She said quietly as she nodded. “If this is how you want to leave me, fine. I was not going to accept the offer.”

Casey tilted her head as she walked to y/n. “Y/n, wait-“

“Hope you get what you want in life.” Y/n simply said as she walked to their room, locking the door behind her to start packing her things.

Y/n didn’t want to push this, she didn’t want to beg for Casey to not leave her, to ask her to stay, she loved Casey, but if it meant to ask for her love, to wait for her love…she didn’t want this. Any of this.

********************

“Wait, what about Huang?” Elliot asked as he looked at Olivia.

Olivia shrugged. “He’s somewhere in California, doing some TED talks or something.”

“So, we getting a new one for now or what?” Munch raised his hands as she stared at them. “Novak said we needed Huang to confirm if he’s capable of talking in court or the case can go to the trash.”

“Guys, I want you to meet Dr. y/n y/l/n. Huang’s good friend, and the person who will be helping us in the next few cases if we need her.” Cragen smiled as he introduced her.

Y/n smiled softly as she nodded. “Sorry Huang is not here, but it’s nice to meet you guys, I’ve heard great things about you all.”

Olivia smiled as she nodded. “We’re sure that if Huang sent you, it’s because you’re good. I’ll show you the interrogation room.” She then walked with y/n, leaving behind the boys.

Elliot looked at Cragen. “I take it she’s good?”

“I trust Huang, and right now, we need all the possible help, so we get these girls some justice.” Cragen nodded as he walked back to his office.

“He’s right. As long as we get a confirmation that he’s sane enough, we’re good to go, Huang or not.” Munch said as he stood up.

Casey walked into the squad room and smiled at Elliot, walking to him. “Huang’s in there?”

Elliot shook his head. “Nope, he’s not in New York. Sent a friend of his, but Liv already took her in, so we should have an answer soon.”

Casey nodded. “Good, wanna come?”

Elliot nodded as he followed Casey, He furrowed his brows as he stared at Casey. “You okay?”

Casey sighed as she shook her head. “The DA’s office is right on my back with this case. I need a psych evaluation or he’s out before we can even blink.”

“Casey, you got this. We have enough evidence.” Elliot stopped Casey for a moment as he looked at her. “Is there something else going on in that head of yours?”

Casey looked back at him as she shook her head, sighing softly. “No. Everything is okay.” She offered a small smile before she walked in with Elliot. But just as she walked in, the voice on the other side of the room made her stop in her tracks, her heart dropping and her eyes widening.

Elliot noticed the reaction, and just in time, Olivia turned to look at them, furrowing her brows. She looked at Elliot for a moment before she returned her attention to Casey. “Case?”

Casey’s lips parted in surprise, but no words could come out. She cleared her throat softly, as she looked at Olivia. “Y-Yeah?”

“What happened? You completely froze there.” Olivia said a little concerned, walking to Casey.

Casey snapped out of her trance and shook her head. “No uh…nothing. Sorry, I just…I guess I’m too stressed right now.”

Olivia nodded, looking at Elliot for a moment and then back at Casey. “Alright…she’s…the psychiatrist is talking to him right now. She’s on his good side right now.”

Casey nodded. “Right, I need to go talk to Cragen but…let me know when she’s done.” Before anyone could say anything, Casey was out of the room.

It had been around two years or so since they had seen each other. The last time they had seen each other was the day y/n moved out of their apartment. Casey had tried everything to stop her, but it was too late. After that, they never talked to each other, didn’t even try to contact each other, they had entirely erased each other from their lives. And now, it was like destiny wanted them to find each other again, but Casey was not ready for it. She knew the damage she had caused, she knew how much she had hurt y/n, and herself…and she knew that y/n hated her for what she did, she knew that she’d probably freak out once she figured out that Casey was here, and Casey was definitely not ready to tell the whole squad their story, she had never talked about her, she couldn’t…it had been too painful. She had tried to stay as long as possible with Cragen in his office, coming up with excuses to not leave, or simply talking about where they were with the case, and just as she was about to leave, she ran into the one person she had been trying to avoid, and oh, her heart hadn’t beaten like this in so long.

Casey’s eyes widened slightly as she stared at y/n, licking her lips nervously. “H-Hey.”

Y/n furrowed her brows, offering a small smile. “Hi. I’m y/n.” She extended her hand. “You must be…the attorney? Olivia told me some blonde girl was in charge of this case.” She chuckled softly.

Casey furrowed her brows, staring at her with a confused look. “Uh…yes. Novak.” She grabbed y/n’s hand in hers and she felt a shiver run down her spine. “You don’t…you don’t know who I am?” She asked softly, almost quietly.

Y/n raised her brow as she let go of Casey’s hand. “Should I…know who you are?”

“Uh…” Casey shook her head. “No. Sorry, I’m not exactly in my right mind today.”

“Got it. This heat doesn’t help anyone, does it?” Y/n chuckled softly. “Olivia gave me your email, I’ll be sending you the evaluation, and if you have any questions, my number will be in the email.”

Casey nodded. “Great, thanks.”

Y/n nodded softly as she offered a small smile. “Nice to meet you, Novak.” She then walked away, leaving Casey speechless. What had just happened?

********************

Olivia knocked on Casey’s door softly, smiling as Casey looked up at her. “Hey there.”

Casey offered a smile. “Hi.”

Olivia walked into the office and raised her brow. “So…are you gonna tell me what’s going on?”

Casey furrowed her brows and shook her head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“C’mon, Casey. You know better than to lie to me.” Olivia sat down and crossed her arms as she looked at Casey.

“I don’t…” Casey sighed softly as she dropped her pen and rubbed her temple. “What do you know about y/n?”

“Well…she’s great. I mean…she has helped us so much with everything. She’s at Huang’s level.” Olivia nodded as she offered a smile. “And uh…Huang told us a little bit of background. She studied here, but after graduating she moved to California for an offer.”

Casey nodded softly. “Anything else?”

Olivia tilted her head as she thought. She then nodded as she sighed. “I heard that she got into an accident. Like a year or so ago. She mentioned that she had been in a coma for a while, she still doesn’t remember much. But recently, she was allowed to go back to work.”

Casey then understood, and her heart dropped at the idea of y/n being in an accident, and she wasn’t there for her. She sighed softly as she nodded. “Must’ve been hard.”

“Seems so.” Olivia raised her brows. “Now…are you gonna tell me why you’re acting so weird? Is this about y/n?”

Casey groaned softly as she covered her face, sighing afterwards. “I know y/n.” She mumbled.

Olivia nodded. “Alright…and?” She then gasped softly. “Oh…she didn’t recognize you.”

“She has no idea who I am.” Casey shook her head as she dropped her hands, looking at Olivia. “She had no idea who I was and I…I don’t know how to treat her, or what to say.”

“Was she…more than a friend?”

Casey nodded. “Yeah…she was.” She said softly, still feeling guilty about how it all ended.

“Maybe this is your second chance.” Olivia shrugged. “You can try to be her friend, you know? This is literally a start over, Case.”

Casey looked at Olivia and shrugged. “You think it’s a good idea?”

Olivia shrugged. “Well…why not? Maybe this could turn out better than you think.”

Casey nodded softly as she stared at Olivia, smiling softly. “Maybe so…”

“I’m…not sure what happened between you two, but all I know is that this could be your chance to make things better. Maybe be her friend first, and if things go well then…if you want, you can try again.” Olivia offered a smile.

Casey looked back at Olivia and smiled softly, nodding her head, and thanking her. The conversation kept going after that, y/n no longer in it. Casey hated the fact that it had been her fault for letting her go, she was happy to know the person she had become, maybe Casey would have stopped her from growing, but the fact that she had been in an accident and Casey had not been there…it broke her heart into a million of pieces. She wanted to make it up. She wanted to make things better.

********************

Y/n looked up as she heard a pair of heels approaching her, smiling as she saw Casey walking to her. “Ms. Novak. What do I owe the pleasure of your presence?”

Casey felt her heart fluttering as she stood in front of y/n, smiling softly. “I heard you were covering Huang here too. Thought I’d pay you a visit, and thank you for your help. We won the case.”

Y/n raised her brows and smiled widely. “Oh, Casey! That’s amazing. I’m sure it was all because of you. I’ve heard how amazing you are in court.” She chuckled softly as she closed the file she had in hands.

“Well…I still wanted to thank you. And…wonder if you’d like to take a coffee.” Casey nibbled on her lip nervously, hoping that she’d get a positive answer.

Y/n stared at Casey and smiled softly. “I don’t see why not. Are you free right now? I was about to leave.”

“Sounds good to me.” Casey smiled softly.

They decided to walk for a while before they actually found a coffee shop where they could sit and grab a coffee. It amazed Casey how little she remembered before the accident, admitting that she didn’t even remember much about her college years or even after, just a few memories popping up every now and then, and people? That was the most difficult to remember. Casey felt guilty, knowing how they had ended and now taking advantage of her not remembering to get to talk to her, but she couldn’t help it. Olivia’s words kept playing in her mind, wanting to believe that maybe this truly was a second chance that the universe decided to give them; not in the best way, but she could either waste it or take it. She couldn’t help the way her eyes stayed glued to y/n the whole time, loving the fact that she looked the same, as beautiful as she has always been, and she couldn’t help the way her heart beat fast for her.

Casey talked a little about her own life, there wasn’t much to say about it, since her whole life was dedicated to her job. After y/n, she had really out her entire focus on it, wanting to get more offers or chances to work in something better, to be able to grow, and she had gotten her place in Sex Crimes even if she hadn’t wanted that at first. She couldn’t help but wonder what it’d be like if she had another chance with y/n…if fate was nice enough to let her have that second chance and get back the life she wished she hadn’t thrown away back then, but she needed to take it step by step, not wanting to rush things. She was really willing to win her back.

Y/n stopped in front of the doors of the hotel and turned to look at Casey. “Thank you for the coffee, and…the dinner that came after.” She chuckled softly.

Casey chuckled as she nodded. “You’re welcome.” She said softly as she smiled. “When are you going back to California?”

Y/n sighed as she shrugged. “I have a few more things to do here. Huang is taking a bit of time over in California, so. I might stay for a little longer.”

“Good.” Casey smiled softly. “Will I be able to see you again?”

Y/n smiled widely as she nodded. “I don’t see why not.” She chuckled. “See you around, Casey.”

“Goodnight.” Casey nodded as she watched her walking into the hotel.

Was it wrong? Was this selfish? She felt guilty, she felt bad, but could anyone really blame her? She couldn’t just waste this chance, as guilty as she felt.

********************

“Who would’ve thought that Ms. Novak was a charmer?” Olivia said as she walked into Casey’s office, a playful smile on her face.

Casey looked up and furrowed her brows. “Where did that come from?”

Olivia grinned. “Y/n stopped by the squad room earlier. She was talking about how Ms. Novak took her to a nice restaurant.” She said in a playful tone.

Casey laughed softly as she looked down at her notebook and placed her pen down as she looked back at Olivia. “It was just dinner.”

“For what…like the third time in almost two weeks? Olivia raised her brow.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “Yeah, well…she has free time. I didn’t see why J couldn’t.”

“Oh, Case. You’re really taking this chance, and I love that for you.” Olivia smiled softly. “She said she loves the restaurant, gave her a sense of comfort.”

Casey smiled softly as she nodded. “She used to love that restaurant when we had just moved here. I…couldn’t help it.”

Olivia smiled. “What happened, Casey?”

Casey took a deep breath and then she sighed heavily. “I had gotten an offer here, after we had promised that we would both stay in Boston. I made her transfer and…then she had an offer in California.” She nodded sadly. “She was not going to take it. But we were drifting apart…I was stuck in work, always work…”

“She felt forgotten.” Olivia said softly as she sat down in one of the chairs.

“I made her feel that way. Because it was true. I was so focused on work that I just stopped putting her as my priority. And then I told her to go to California.” Casey shrugged. “And she did.” She smiled sadly at Olivia. “Now you see why I was thinking if it was a good or bad idea to try to befriend her again.”

“I know it sounds…bad. But it’s a second chance. And maybe, when she remembers, she’ll forgive you.”

“Is it bad that I don’t want her to remember? I mean…fuck, I’m so selfish.” Casey chuckled as she ran her fingers through her hair. “It hurt to think at first that she couldn’t remember me, that she had forgotten about us…and now I’m taking advantage of it.”

“I wouldn’t say you’re taking advantage. It’s like you two are getting to know each other again. Not like you just jumped into her bed, you know?”

Casey nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Just…don’t overthink too much about it.” Olivia offered a small smile.

Casey raised her brow. “You’re as bad as me, supporting me into this.” She chuckled softly.

“Is it selfish to want to see you happy?” Olivia grinned as she teased.

********************

“Wait…they offered you a job here?” Casey smiled softly.

Y/n nodded as she set her drink on the table, looking at Casey. “Mercy hospital. Huang wanted to try to get me a spot with him, but…Mercy hospital sounds nice.” She smiled softly.

Casey nodded softly as she smiled, getting up from her desk and then walking to the table, sitting down beside y/n. “Have you thought about it?”

“I mean…” y/n sighed. “I need to get some things in order in California. I can’t just accept and move. There are a lot of things I need to think about.”

Casey nodded again. “You’re right.”

“What do you think?” Y/n smiled, a hint of hope in her eyes.

“What do I…” Casey furrowed her brows. “…why do you care what I think?”

Y/n shrugged softly as she smiled. “I’m just asking for an opinion, you know?”

Casey nibbled on her lip as she stared at y/n. It could be her opportunity to have another chance with her, it could be that chance she had wanted to have all this time after she screwed up. But it’d be selfish. It would be too selfish to ask her to stay. She couldn’t possibly tell her what she really thought.

“I…I think you should do what you think it’s best for you.” Casey said softly.

“Will you want to deal with me once I move here?”

Casey chuckled softly. “I’d love that.”

Y/n smiled softly as she nodded. “I’ll let you know my decision when I have it then. I’ll uh…I need to do some stuff but…dinner on me?”

Casey smiled as she stood up. “Sounds perfect.”

Y/n smiled as she grabbed her coffee and stood up. She stood in front of Casey for a moment before she leaned up and pressed her lips against Casey’s in a gentle kiss. Casey’s breath hitched for a moment but couldn’t help kissing her back softly, placing her hands on her waist to pull her closer. The moment was broken when Casey’s phone went off, making them pull apart.

Y/n smiled softly as she pecked Casey’s lips. “See you later, Case.” She said before she walked away.

Casey swallowed, trying to catch her breath, and then moving to her desk to grab her phone. Throughout the whole day, she was in court, arraignment after arraignment plus a trial. She had tried so hard to focus but her mind kept going back to their kiss, and how good it had felt to kiss her after all this time. She had missed the feeling of y/n close to her, her lips, her taste…and yet, she felt nothing but guilt. She kept overthinking over and over again. She tried to think what Olivia had told her, she tried so hard to be positive about it and to try and just live in the moment, but she couldn’t.

She was about to text y/n that she was on her way out her office when suddenly she felt someone at the door. She turned to the door and found y/n standing there, a serious look on her face as she stared at Casey.

“Y/n. I was about to text you that I was on my way out.” Casey smiled softly. But then she looked down at her watch. “Shit, did I say earlier? I’m sorry. I…”

“No. It’s not that.” Y/n bit her lip softly as she walked into Casey’s office and closed the door behind her. “We need to talk.”

Casey furrowed her brows as she stared at y/n. “Something happened?”

Y/n looked up at Casey, tears welling up in her eyes. “I never actually thought I’d see you again.” She said in a whisper, her voice cracking up with emotion.

Casey’s heart ached as she spoke, her eyes locking with y/n’s. “You…you remember me?”

Y/n nodded softly as she huffed a chuckle. “I uh…I was just talking to Huang and then he was asking me about you, how things were going, and it was like uh…wave that hit me and all of the sudden I remembered that…I knew you. You used to be my Casey.” She felt tears in her eyes as she shook her head, licking her lips nervously.

Casey felt a pang of guilt as she stared at y/n, walking to her. “Y/n…I-I wanted to tell you, I didn’t-“

“Is this how you planned on getting back with me? You were hoping that I wouldn’t remember, didn’t you?” Y/n asked softly as she felt tears in her eyes.

“No! I mean…” Casey groaned as she nibbled on her lip. “I did want to tell you. I felt…I felt guilty. But I couldn’t help it. I just wanted to start over.”

“And what a better way to start over than taking advantage of me having amnesia.” Y/n chuckled sarcastically. “You know I…I don’t blame you. But you know we didn’t end well, did you just forget about all that?”

“No…” Casey shook her head. “But I regret everything. I regret letting you go. I wanted to see you again. You changed your number, and I just…”

“You made your choice, Casey. You even made my choice.” Y/n scoffed. She shook her head. “I truly did want to start over.”

“And what about your accident? Why did you never call me?”

“I didn’t remember your phone number.” Y/n chuckled softly as she wiped her tears. “I’m sure my mom wanted to. Something might’ve stopped her.”

Casey nodded as she looked down at her hands. “I’m sorry…for everything. I just thought it could be that chance I lost…”

Y/n took a deep breath and then sighed as she tried to avoid more tears falling from her eyes. “That’s not fair, Casey. You make it seem like I was the one who broke your heart, when it was the other way around.”

Casey looked back up at her. “And that’s why I wanted to make things right. I wanted another chance, and I was not going to take advantage of you. I was going to tell you all about it, I just didn’t know how. I didn’t want you to hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Casey.” Y/n said in a whisper as she stared into her eyes. “But I can’t do this again. I…I don’t even know why I considered accepting the offer here, when I have everything I need in California. And being here now…reminds me of what I lost.”

Casey felt her heart drop at her words, tears welling up in her eyes. “Y/n…” She took a step closer and grabbed her hands, bringing them to her lips. “Please I’m…I’m so sorry. I really am. You don’t know how much I regret what happened and how things went down. Please.”

Y/n stared into her eyes as she shook her head. “How do I know that you won’t cling to your paper and pen again, huh?”

“We start over then. We just leave it at friends. Accept the offer, move back here. We can make it work this time, baby. I’m just asking for one more chance.” Casey looked at her with pleading eyes, her voice low and quiet.

“We can’t be friends, not even that.” Y/n whispered softly. “Casey…I loved you. So much…but I just…I can’t do this. Not again. Look where you are.” She smiled sadly. “You have a conviction rate of 71%, you’re a recognized ADA.” She chuckled sadly. “Sort of…did some research.”

Casey chuckled a little as she nodded. “And you’re recognized in California…and have a new life now.”

Y/n nodded. “We have different lives. And it should stay that way.”

Casey tilted her head as she felt tears rolling down her eyes. “I love you…” she whispered softly.

Y/n nodded. “I loved you.”

Casey closed her eyes as she felt a weight on her chest at the words. Y/n sighed softly as she placed her hand on Casey’s cheek, stroking it softly. She leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips, resting her forehead against hers for a moment.

“I’m glad I got to see you again. I’m sir proud of you.” Casey whispered softly as she looked into her eyes.

Y/n smiled sadly. “I’m so proud of you too.”

Y/n offered one last smile before she walked out of Casey’s office, leaving her just standing there in the middle of her office as she stared at the door, tears rolling down her cheeks. She had made a mistake, a terrible mistake. And maybe after all, her life would be dedicated to her job. That’s what she chose. And she’d regret it for the rest of her life.

#casey novak x reader #casey novak #casey novak fic #law and order svu #svu fic #svu

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