#(best friend's family/friends are everything happens for a reason people and i hate that tbh)

[rowenabean]

.

[starlyx0]

so I have noticed some people think Ben is boring (trust me I’ve seen it)

so I am here to talk about everything ben and try to explain his character!

This won’t be the best character analysis

as English is not my first language and I'm trying to bring more attention to stuff that's not talked about often.

So I'm going to split this into 6 categories to try to make writing this easier for me so bare with me.

Things I’ll go over!

personality 

looks 

hobbies

past & current 

relationship with family 

relationship with friends

This is going to have a bunch of stuff that are headcanons I'm only including them to show ppl if u can put some thought into it u can get some reasonable ones.

1 | personality

I see a lot of ppl reduce his character to only music and being mute? which really upsets me because he soo so much more,

but making his entire personality music makes me so mad

most headcanons I see are all the same PLEASE I AM TIRED of hearing what kind of songs he listens to that or all ship headcanons titled as Bens 

he's a shy awkward guy we all know that cuz he really just stands in a corner awkwardly scratching his neck most times and he also doesn’t like horror or anything scary (eps 11) 

hes a protective older brother not overly like Tyler where hes more protective of Tay from other people ben is more chill going and more afraid of what life throws at Lily, there’s not much here cuz more points I have fit in the other categories :)

2 | looks 

he looks kinda of basic nobody can deny that so I won't, but because of his past I imagine he would have a bunch of scars ik he doesn’t and that’s a bummer cuz I really wish he had 🥲

After he lost his voice he became super facially expressive but also really good at hiding his emotions so it’s either really easy to read him or really hard no in between. also because of his past bullying, I assume it affected him and the way he presents himself that why he sticks to basic outfits and look,

overall trying not to bring attention to himself even after therapy he stuck to his habit but if someone gave him a little push and helped him he would drop it and start putting thought into his looks,

saw this somewhere I don’t remember where they said he would have curly hair as a kid but his mom didn’t know how to take care of it so they ended up shaving it and i think curly or wavy haired Ben would be so cute also he would look amazing with an eyebrow piercing %100 and uhh I genuinely don’t remember him smiling genuinely in canon so i imagine his with a downturned smile I may be wrong about that idk

3 | hobbies

did I make this a separate category just to talk about him being an artist? yes I absolutely did 🙂↕️

I fear most people forgot about it n honestly and that is criminal 

there is not much said about it in canon but I’ll work with what I have,

he probably didn’t have much artistic skills when he was younger and only started doing it as a distraction and a way to calm down n he probably made himself draw

I feel like red projected onto him in that ifykyk😭

but from the picture Ben draws based on things that happen so he diff draws a bunch of random things he sees and thinks its cool, he would draw everything and everyone and I feel his art style would be more realistic tbh

but Ben also plays guitar, plays piano 

, fight, used to sing, and the medic of the group like what else he do?? he is literally perfect what more can I say here but most of these are not really hobbies but skills he had to learn for the sake of his life 

4 | Past & current 

I’ll talk more here about how his past affects him currently,

I love to think he has a fear of fires because of the fire that burned down his house more of a headcanon tbh

see the pan he burned in that official art? it took him half an hour in his room to calm down his heartbeat and gathering around the campfire is the opposite of relaxing for him

probably hates turtlenecks with his being 

and I want to talk about his voice as that affects him the most what really bothers me about the fandom is that a lot of people ignore the fact that he probably will never speak. 

I see plenty of ppl benlor shippers say 

“he would sing for —-🥺“ “he would whisper to comfort—🥺“ n it makes me wonder are we even talking about the same character???? which is absolute bullshit if he did that he is the one that’s gonna need comfort like please. he would probably never speak unless he sees someone's head gets ripped off there body.

It's said flat out in episode 27

That he has the option to speak but he doesn’t why? Because he hates his voice and if he hates his voice sm he chose to not speak for yearsss what makes u think he would speak for the sake of someone else's comfort when doing that only pains him? he is selectively mute for a reason I'm not saying he doesn’t have a voice but at least if u headcanon him to speak in the future at least let it be for his own sake instead of doing it for someone else or make it about ur ship.

5 | Relationship with family 

Starting with his parents I don’t think they are bad parents at all they tried to help him as much as they could but they couldn’t so they opened up other options and let him move away and heal even if he’s not with them I think what the did is a good choice for their situation and their relationship would still be great tbh considering the distance 

now onto Lily

I honestly can talk about them for days. I love them 

Their relationship is so sweet the way Lily is stuck to him every chance she gets and ah also used to sing to her can you imagine how she felt seeing her brother coming home later and later covered in bruises not singing to her to sleep anymore watching him sneak out 

she basically watched her brother spiral down and then leave she was probably too young to really understand what was going on fully so now she just wants to spend all the time she can with him and he tries to make up for lost time :(

now Aiden 

most people probably forgot Aiden is the closest person to Ben and the same goes the other way around.

Aiden is a life long friend of Ben’s

he literally trusts him, follows him everywhere and lets him decide for him 

they spent most of their time together since Ben moved in they live together there stuck together.

Aiden probably helped him a lot mentally helping him try new things and be more carefree

Ben also probably helped him mentally and physically patching him up and looking out for him overall,

I see some Aiden fics that are like “Oh no Ben’s gonna be so upset at me 😖” and they make him act like a nurse, not a friend and he just bandages him up then leaves as if nothing happened and someone else comes and in does all the comforting 

like I can count all the fics where Ben acts like a decent person and I'd still have more fingers up than down,

it’s so upsetting how ignored their relationship is in this fandom they deserve so much more honestly.

6 | Relationship with friends 

he is definitely the therapist friend 

He is that kind of friend that you can tell everything to him going from weird food to the worst time of your life and won't even realize it 

his friendship with Ash is very chill not the closest I'd say,

they're really just trying to keep their peace lmao

his friendship with Taylor

I imagine them as gossip girls tbh Ben being a quiet kid while Taylor is popular they definitely know some good gossip 

his friendship with Tyler is something he used to find him irritating but then he realized they have a lot in common especially when Tyler was teaching him guitar which was precise since he was the one who offered 

and his friendship with Logan 

it's really sweet Logan would try to teach him gardening while they talk about their interests

and be absolute nerds together lmao

overall the friendship between all of them is really sweet ik I didn’t give it justice here but the found family trope and the way they find comfort in each other is just everything to me

And I'm done yappin hope u enjoyed that because that was over 1,5k words 

if u have any questions feel free to ask 🫡

[stafyliaa]

"Miles it's me!"

Prowler!Miles x Spiderhero!Reader (gender neutral)

cw: angst,Jeff being funny,mentions of Jeff death (sorry it's earth 42 😭),tears,no comfort (maybe there will be on part two) "betrayal" and a big misunderstanding

Hii! This is my first time writing hehehe give me a chance and please be nice :D im gonna do a ending to this fic but it's gonna take a while

I'm more than happy to write requests so don't be shy!!

You are Miles lover..but you are also the friendly neighborhood Spider hero! While Miles is the Prowler! And the worst..you both didn't know that

But you never thought Prowler was a bad guy,he actually helped people too but- he kinda hates you for some reason

maybe he was jealous of the amount of popularity you have and how you are incredible strong and how your suit was soooo pretty so yeah,who cares about Prowler anyways? He's a douchebag

As for Miles..He is the best!!

He looks like he is trying to poop everytime with that "scary" face of him but he is really sweet and respectful boy

he respects your space and supports your decisions,he is great with gifts (handmade or purchased) and never fails to make you feel especial regardless of anything ♡

You were great friends with his family too! They love you! But, something happened

His dad was captain Morales,he passed away doing his job..being a hero without spider powers or something like that yeah good guy

You remembered that when he was alive he didn't liked the ideia of a masked hero around (another jealous man),but after some events you kinda "worked together" to protect the peace at the city

The Spiderhero and captain Morales protecting our dear Brooklyn! couldn't get better

he enjoyed talking about his son and you can't deny it was fun to see what Miles was like from his father's point of view

"My boy has a beautiful significant other,i consider them as my own child! You know? Don't tell anybody but i kinda get jealous on how much of attention my wife put on them cause like,does she like them more then me?!! That's unacceptable hmfp"

Yeah and things like that was really fun too

But that day you couldn't saved him

You tried.. But unfortunately it didn't worked

Miles was devastated..you felt so guilty every day for not being able to save his dad but you always comforted him whenever he need it and he is very grateful for that

If you thought you were nobody under your hero mask you are sorely mistaken! You are everything to Miles,you are his hero

it's been sometime since that happened and everything seems to be okay

Until now

It was a random night you were patrolling the city when you ended up realizing that you were close to where Miles lived

It wouldn't hurt anyone to take a look would it?

But the last thing you expected to see was this

And this i mean

Prowler on the rooftop at Miles building

[•••]

What if he is planning to hurt Miles? You couldn't let that happen, could you?

You were ready to attack him sneakily but his mask came off

Curious to know who your unbearably annoying enemy is you decided to wait a while

Then..you saw him!Miles Morales was the Prowler,and he wasn't alone..Aaron was with him

You were surprised! Who wouldn't tbh

You decided to stay a little longer to see what he is going to do:

- Miles..we will finally catch that spider,i can feel it.- said Aaron

- Yeah,i can't wait for that Tio (uncle) Aaron

You noticed that Aaron seemed to be hesitant to tell Miles something,then he said:

- Look Miles,they.. could be anyone -you thought to yourself "does he know I'm the spider hero!?-

- What are you trying to say?

- I'm trying to say that - he hesitates one more time - don't forget why we are doing all this ok? Mi hermano (my brother) ..Your dad, está muerto (is dead) because that "hero" couldn't save him,they saved everyone but couldn't bother to save him and - Before Aaron could say more Miles interrupt him

- I know tio,don't worry - his mask returns to his face - esta noche(tonight)..I'm gonna kill that spider

You know what he said

You know what he is planning to do

Miles..the boy you love

Is going to kill you

[•••]

You are on the edge of the building

The only thing keeping you from falling is Prowler

He got his claws ready to kill you

Your heart is beating fast

"I don't want to die! I can't die yet! I don't want to get killed by him! Miles please!"you thought:

- Who are you?

- I... - he moves his claws closer to your face

With his claws he slowly takes off your mask

When he took the mask off you ,tears rolled down from your eyes

That look of fear and your watery eyes

Made Miles heart break

"This wasn't supposed to happen"

Miles thought

"Why is this happening?":

- Miles.. - you said whispering looking at him

Miles is feeling a lot of emotions

He is scared

He is angry

He is confused

And he is sad

Miles face is revealed

You see a tear fall down from his eye:

- Amor.. - you can hear by his voice that he is hurt

He don't want to do this,he can't do this!

But still

Miles doesn't let go of you:

- Miles..look i know why you are doing this! And i swear my love i really tried to save him!

"My love" he loves when you call him that,you always call him with so full of love on your voice that always make he feels warm

But is he feeling warm now that you are calling him? With so much despair trying to prove your point?

He close his eyes for a second and looked away as if he was trying to ignore you:

- Please! The fact that i couldn't save him still hunts me..Look at me Miles

He looked at you

More tears fall down from your eyes:

- The hardest thing about this job is that you can't save everybody..It took me a while to accept this but it's the truth

It took a while to accept this? That made Miles wonders if you even asked to be a hero at all

He loosens his grip a little

You wanted to tell him everything

How much it hurts you to be a hero

But you keep it to yourself:

- I know it hurts Miles,i know you want to kill me but please..Those people - you you looked around - they need me..let me do for them what i couldn't do for you

He moves his claws close to your face

You look deep into his eyes and said:

-Please..if you find a little sympathy in your heart.. forgive me for everything- you said honestly - I love you Miles

you shut your eyes and...

[•••]

Please be patient cause this fanfic will have a ending!! Thank you for reading ♡

[lablim64]

Another of that I made base of people I met in irl

This crusty dusty divot MOTHERFUCKING DEMON LIKE F@G-

I won't even gonna made a name I will tell what she did to me in irl for no damn reason after the story-

Name:kanya/karma (her nickname was karma)

Age: idk (can be 16-15 by now, she were like 14 when I met her)

Gender: a total bitch (ehem female-)

Ok now the story, and keep reading after the story because I'm not afraid to expose what she did that destroyed me for years-

Warning: mention of suicide

Story:

A bitch, by the name calling you probably guess how she were, she used to be lim's best friend at the time when he were adopted by dragon (his missing step dad) and behind lim's death happened, they were met on the playground, she were crying and he were so kind to help, kanya were had a horrible household, her parents were not believing her and her brother were abusive, there was the point where she wanted to commit suicide but luckily lim saved her from it, he always met her there and help her, telling her one day everything will be ok and always gave her spare food and heals her bruises till one day her life became better, her brother left the house and her parents got divorced and now she's living in a good family, lim were happy to help her and keep on helping her, bit something start to felt off, kanya start becoming so odd, she start getting too personal and jealous when lim mentions someone else as a friend, start to ignore and being narcissistic to lim's vents and always blaming herself for everything to get his attention, lim being too young and not so educated enough though maybe it was because of her past until one day lim got into an accident and had to stay in the hospital for weeks, he were almost died on that accident but there were no words from anyone about it, after lim got out from the hospital and met up with kanya, she tolded him that he missed her birthday and that made lim sad, he apologize and explain the situation he was as on, and that mf start arguing with lim, calling him a pick-me, an egoist, a liar, she literally yelled at him and call him names for being in the hospital during her birthday, that broke lim a lot, they were friends for way way long, he saved her life, helped her and this is the thank he gets? No way..after that day they never seen each other again, lim become so indoors and depressed about what happened, keep on blaming himself for helping her and saving her life, and the worst part is he never able to forget about that memory, keep on saying "I wish I let you committed.." Everytime he remembers her words, tbh he's right tho, what an asshole, and you know a worst part, that girl is now knowing where lim currently is and doesn't seem to have any regrets from the past.

That's all

now you might be wondering "but hey, boy, what did that girl did to you in the past that you hate her that much?" Well here's what he did:

WARNING: mention of suicide and life baiting

Almostly same with the story, she we're nicknamed karma, we met and I helped her the most, she were my best friend, save her from suicide multiple times, yet me being an idiot and a human pleaser stuck with her narcissistic ass for 3 years, and one day at the covid times I got my second flu shot and it side effected, I were burning and so dizzy that my parents take me to the hospital even the doctors told me that if I were not make it there, I might die, anyway when I get back home that asshole texted me saying that I forgot her birthday and I apologize for it and explain what happened, like I thought she would care ugh..she called me names and stuff I still cannot forgot, literally make me wanna commit suicide for stopping her from committing suicide, she ruined my life that I didn't get myself together and still are, she were my everything, I saved her life and this is the thanks I get? I wish she were committed, don't even come to me saying "but boy, life baiting is horrible!" I KNOW BUT DUDE! she really were a waste of life...you know how much I wanted to commit after what she did? I also don't like life baiting but this feeling won't leaving me alone!

Important note: don't life bait people, I also don't wanted to but I'm just so angry at her..

Anyway see you on another post,sorry for what you had to hear-

[coderiderr]

9, 22 and 27 for you good friend!!

09. personal bias aside, who do you think is the best written character and why? 

regarding MCD oh katelyn absolutely no question. plot threads and arcs can get a little all over the place but katelyn has a consistent motiv/arc she follows through on s1-2 with her defection and everything, we love you katelyn <333 ugh queen

For mystreet well tbh. uhh. s1-3 zane is the only one who had a solid like. arc (?) about opening up and making friends. (not that he should be opening up to these ppl theyre all assholes to him lmfao) so much happens in mystreet and the quality, ranges. s1-3 was like a sitcom but then s4-6 were so much idk.

22. who's the character that you most identify with and why?

i dont think i identify with any of these guys honestly. theyre all very different from me,. mystreet liochant ig, bc he does nothing <3

27. what's something really interesting that you wished canon decided to explore more? alternatively, what's something interesting that you wished the fandom acknowledged more?

OH THERES SOSOSSOSOSOS MUCH goign on mystreet concepts first uhm s4-6 i dont like ghost but her concept is so insane but the fucking execution but like she literally cant remember anything about her life other than the name zane & like love. which she interprets as oh he must be the love of my life or smthin so shes obsessed with him but extremely strongly implied (or outright confirmed id have to rewatch) this is the ghost of emmalyn from mcd and the reason she remembers zane is bc MCD zane literally killed her husband in front of her its so crazy. thinking the reincarnation of the guy who killed your soulmate is your one true love bc you cant remember why you know him AHHHHHHH

s1-3 mystreet im blankin on a lot of it. idk garroth repsect ur brothers boundries more or smthin </3 wish they leaned more into the hilarity of zane being part of the homeowners association. wwe only got the ep where he judges christmas decorations for a competition. ohhh wait they shouldve leaned more into zane being an outcast and why bc theyre kinda like hes a dick ig? even tho like. he reasonable defensive and shit bc the people around him are like. constantly making fun of him. i think he deserves to be a little bit of a dick.

MCD JUST LIKE>> TRAVIS IN GENERAL HIS CONCEPT GOES SO INSANE AND THEN THEY JUSARGHHH like his dad is the demon lord and he grew up solely with his mom and is extremely outcast at the village he protects FROM HIS DAD bc of his parentage and the dude literally spends all his time alone after his mother died he has so much compassion for people who hate him it goes so crazy. and hes so ashmed of his demon side im ahhhh. hes always lurking in ym brain

and dante and gene dante and gene. pov youre orphans and your big brother is doing something terrible so you report him and he winds up being hanged for it and he comes back as an undead monstrosity and kills literally everyone in your hometown ((i realize i have misremebered it was a memory wipe not killing but so many village wipes happen in this series can you blame me)) but you and you are haunted by the guilt you feel. its hard but you end up finding a new place to call home and new people to call family until one day theyre gone and you do your best to help your little struggling village and you perservere until one day 15 years later theyre back and havent aged a day. you thought they were gone.

also just fucking getting to see dante age and get married and become a father while gene is stuck in the same 20 y/o body goes crazy. what happens when you outgrow your big brother

also hmm i dunno. i think we should all aprreciate brenden more. also kiki & zane are so we need to talk about that more

[crackedpumpkin]

So about rise leo x villian! Reader plot, bef i say anything am a huge sucker for good endings so don't blame me.

So i hc reader as a gymnastic - the the villian from Barbie spy movie(?) - with gadget that help her/them shape shift to anything or anybody (So OP must nerf).

Plot; So the reason why reader is begin a villian to begin with is she's working for big mama - yes am gonna blame big mama - as her special thief, reader have the ability/ or have a gadget that make them shapshift to anybody or anything which it helped them escape from the crime scene/ mad dogs may many times.

The reason why she works for big mama is because BM took her in from the streets after she almost pull a perfect heist from BM's hotel, instead of sending her to police or just k1ll her she took her in as her new minion.

The reason why she know the mad dogs was because she's also a friend to april whom she trusts, so April trusted her enough to introduce the mad dogs to her which in the beginning reader took it as a nice game to make fun of the mad dogs to know what they feel about her after she's able to escape them, but soon fall in love with leo which it was unfortunate for her.

Fast forward, the mad dogs takes reader hostage because they just can't let her go, she knows where they live, she knows too much, they try to interrogate her to know anything about her; who's her boss, where she got the gadget? Why working as a thief? But reader is as hard as a nail and won't peep of an info.

That until leo asks her " was everything about us fake? Your feelings towards me? Our dates? Was everything fakes? " Leo asks, reader wanted to be honest and say no but begin afraid of seeing her answer as a lie she sees its best for them to break up and for leo to find another person, but for this to happen he have to hate her, so she pulls the " bad girl " mask and say " yep, everything was a lie, am surprise you even believed i loved you! " To the mad dogs, splinter and April they believe her mask but leo knowing how people could see right through her.

When everyone leave leo and reader alone to talk, leo start pressing reader for his answers, reader put a fight by saying hurtful words but in the end breaks from guilt, she loves leo so much she feels the guilt is crushing her, she wants him to forgive her but she knows she doesn't deserve it.

She get surprised by leo mentioning how reader have to stay in the lair to keep on " interrogate " her, tho reader knows it's way of leo saying " you're gonna stay with me until your problems is solved ", yes reader hadn't gotten leo's full trust again but it's a step to regain his and the family's trust.

first of all, i love the headcanon of gymnastics reader with the shapeshifting because it's just such a cool thing tbh. And almost pulling the perfect heist?? i would hire her in an instant. I think if it was me who wrote this it might go something like:

You slide down the rope, eyes scanning the room to see if any alarms had been triggered yet. Noting the absence of flashing lights and loud blaring sirens, your shoulders sag in relief at going undetected.

----

and reader getting caught by the mad dogs and being interrogated??? Oh my GOD so much potential for angst here it's insane. Mikey interrogating her?? sweetheart won't be able to hold back tears. Raph??? Incredibly disappointed. "I thought we were bear buddies!"

Donnie?? Well. Honestly I'm not sure how he'd react but i think he'd be rather hurt bc he considered you a good acquaintance, maybe even working your way up to be a worthy friend.

And then there's Leo. Our sweet, sweet turtle who just so happened to fall for the enemy. Honestly I'm always a sucker for sweet endings but I just so happen to be rather evil and as such will leave it on a high note of heartbreak :>

So, if I were to just kinda drabble a bit (Please pardon the suddenness of it all, this is very on the spot bc inspo hit and completely unedited/thought out) I'd write it like this:

"Fine, don't tell me anything then." Leo stands up, the shards of hurt and betrayal stabbing into his chest even deeper as he watches your bowed head. You refuse to look up, to meet his gaze because you knew that if you did, you'd break.

You're already trying to silence the voice in your head practically screaming at you to tell him everything. To tell him everything you felt for him - that you still feel for him, was never a lie.

Your eyes water, but you refuse to let a single tear overflow and land on the table. Your arms are tightly secured with rope, and you can barely breathe even though they had been lenient with your restraints.

Leo wants to say something - anything, for the glimmer of hope in his heart that you'd come clean.

"Please."

That makes you look up. His eyes are filled with desperation, pleading with you to admit that what the both of you had wasn't just pure deceit.

When he finally manages to meet your gaze, he almost forgets how angry he is. Your eyes swirl with guilt and regret, conflict in his chest as he watches you visibly struggle to find the words to reply. He wants nothing more than to wrap you into a hug, to soothe your worries (and his) and to forget everything that went down in the past two days.

But you don't reply, and it worsens the pit of despair his heart is already plummeting into.

So he turns around, walking out of the room and slamming the door shut, leaving you behind in the cold darkness.

-------

but yeah! I genuinely really love this plot idea and i think i'll come back to it one day. But currently I'm rather busy and bogged down with work, so it might be a while (whoops).

Thank you so much for sending this in! I really enjoyed this idea :D

Actually, i just got reminded of this one Donnie fic by someone on tumblr(i can't remember the name of the blog, someone please lmk what it is!) but it has a similar storyline whereby Donnie and reader are in a relationship, only for him to find out she's been working for Big Mama all along! I remember it has a happy ending, so I think you'd really enjoy it!

[the-greendalehumanbeings]

 Desperate Housewives Thoughts:

Ok so i am only in the middle of season 2 but this show has become my new obsession!!

Gaby: probably my favourite character. in my mother’s words she is at her best when she is being awful. she’s fiesty, funny and selfish but sharp. i love her little machinations and her constant plotting either to get what she wants or against Carlos. aside from her affair with John (which was super uncomfortable) i always enjoy her scenes. her fighting with that nun, and her and Carlos’s arguments are easily some of the best moments of the show. Carlos is an ass and their relationship is a trainwreck but thats what makes them so entertaining. especially when they are being awful to each other. 

Bree: funnily enough the reason i started watching this show was because i saw twitter talking about her and andrew’s turbulent relationship and it has not disappointed me so far. I love her so much more than i originally thought i would. we completely differ on politics but i can relate to how repressed she is and her discomfort with any kind of public emotion. who hasn’t turned the tap on and cried in the bathroom and then pretended it never happened. like how can you not love her? also her speech about freud not only cemented my love for her, it made me realise that i was going to really really love this show. 

Edie: what can i say? every moment she is on the screen is PURE GOLD. what other character has every been so iconic and unapologetic while casually committing arson. i also love her hidden vulnerability and the fact that she is desperate for some friendship but would die before admitting it. only complaint is that she needs to be in more scenes. they don’t make characters like her anymore.

Susan: lmao i know its really common and popular to hate on her but she she always makes me laugh. at best her clumsiness leads to funny moments and at worst she is mildly annoying. sometimes you just want to sit her down and tell her to get a grip lol.

Mary-Alice: i dont know if this was done on purpose but i love how slowly over time her tone becomes less serious and more amused by her friends antics. like she is removed from some of these emotions she had when she was alive. the longer time she is dead the more removed she thinks like human. drives home the point that she is looking in from the outside. she is dead and has become less attached to the worries and squabbles that plague the living. 

Lynette:  easily my least favourite housewife purely because everything about her life is my worst nightmare. every scene with her husband and kids raised my blood pressure. i think her family situation and life are so common in reality which tbh makes her story the most depressing imo. i like her better in s2 when she is working and her storylines don’t revolve around her family all the time.

Felicia Tillman- very cynical but i love her little monologue about about people being vultures and the fact that she gave martha’s dentures as an engagement gift to edie lol. absolutely insane thing to do.

Martha Huber- lmao what a nightmare. but i loved how her first solution for everything was to resort to blackmail lol.

Betty Applewhite- a brilliant actress who was wasted on this storyline tbh

Tom Scavo- HATE THIS MAN!!!!

[svnflower-writes]

info about my main WIPS rn:

i have too many WIPS shut up i know

original stories:

next christmas:

short story (kind of, if I say it's a short story it'll still be lots of words lmao) about two girls and a small look into their life each christmas and they're best friends who think their pining is unrequited and every time they're like "it's ok it'll happen next christmas!" and it just doesn't and they have to deal with lots of mental health stuff

main characters:

August: lesbian, she/her, i love her so much she's the loml, people pleaser, slowly realises that she doesn't have to be the second choice and she should be a priority, is a bit of an asshole to Lottie in like chapters 5-9 but Lottie deserves it tbh

Charlotte/Lottie: bisexual, she/they, kind of a bitch a lot of the time, gets into relationships for like a week and then gets into another one a month later, commitment issues, eventually has a redemption arc thing and she actually does deserve August

Ayanda/Aya: asexual, panromantic, they/she, they are my spirit animal i love her so much, August's new bestie, absolute sweetheart who values friendship over anything else, also basically the reason EVERYTHING happens in the story

everyone else is kinda irrelevant ngl

love is not enough:

name will definitely change I hate it.

plot is very complicated idk if I even understand it and I'm the one writing it 😭💀 basically gay royalty but it's confusing and the economy is dying and the main love interest is kinda a fugitive??? i guess???? lots of secrets yay

main characters:

kit chevalier-fernsby: gay (very much closeted), he/him, prince, science, slightly pretentious but that's his parents fault, he loves dates where they stay in with blankets and candles and hot chocolate and read books together. he's such a cutie patootie i wanna give him a hug <3

lucas akehurst: unlabelled, he/they, gaurd, hopeless romantic, artist, midnight walks in the rain + art galleries + coffee, mysterious. he is my baby i will protect him at all costs.

no side character information bc i can't be bothered <3

fanfics

hell is a teenage girl:

hunger games fic! finnick's younger (15 years old) sister going through her hunger games and gaining a lot of trauma. very emotion and relationship (familial, platonic, and romantic but the friends she makes are arguably more valuable to her than her relationship). basically she goes through what finnick goes through and she learns to be a manipulative little shit bc what else is she meant to do

main characters:

serena odair: loml. bisexual icon (with a preference for woman) who is a little bit manipulative but let's be real when you're in the arena you do whatever the fuck you can to stay alive. district four, she wins (duh she's the main character) and her brother means absolutely everything to her. spoiler: trauma yay

cassie farwater: serena's best friend! district 11 and a mean lesbian. 16 years old and her friends mean the world to her. her loyalty is what gets her killed.

eloise astor: serena's gf!! district one – been training for the games her whole life so it comes as a big surprise when she sacrifices herself for marina!!

kaz claremont: the district partner/close friend – he's quite and determined and he listens. he knows all the gossip. very impulsive and bold. panromantic + asexual

ash terra: the only person who gives serena a run for her money in the manipulative category. he's an absolute bitch and will stab anyone in the back without hesitation. makes it clear to everyone that this isn't a game of trust. district 3

sadie nightgrove: district 5, cassie's gf. bisexual. very charming and puts on a clueless facade before turning on people. despite being absolutely able to win the games she would never hurt the people she's allied with - and that is her downfall

mad woman

sequel to hell is a teenage girl and yes it's named after the taylor swift song. quarter quell and lots of serena and finnick sibling bonding. very protective finnick and very manipulative (not to finnick) serena, they're a power duo.

serena is like the only original character in this so she's basically the same just more traumatized and hotter.

[holocene-sims]

What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

What is your favorite thing about your OC?

For Grant Please!

thank you so much!! 🤍💖

1. what is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? how different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

honestly, grant has so many "butterfly effect" moments. i'll try to list a few of the more interesting ones (starting the most obvious one but impossible one, which would be "grant's parents were actually nice and his sister didn't die, so he's a well-adjusted human being with no trauma.")

two alternate paths depend on his career! obviously, we know in canon that he was first an aerospace engineer and secondly a pilot (though currently a bartender - we'll see what happens with his dream job soon!). however, his parents wanted him to be a doctor, and he grew up playing hockey, including in college.

if he hadn't lied to his parents about his college majors and had instead done biochem for them, he'd be MEGA unhappy. he'd be good at his job because he is very smart and willing to learn and he does like looking after people, but again, unhappy here. i'd say he'd be in a specialty that would let him work at a hospital because i think he'd get bored if there weren't a change of scenery/some excitement. specifically, i could see neurosurgery. one, some excitement, and two, i think if he were a doctor, he'd also be insufferably stuck by coincidence in a specialty that his parents would be TOO proud of.

if he stuck with hockey, he'd also be unhappy. he never wanted to do it professionally anyway but let's say he did. it'd be terrible. he'd still have the problem that is his incurable autoimmune disease, so he'd either (1) continue having his previous painkiller addiction fueled by doctors who don't give a fuck about you and only want you to play, or (2) still figure out his own shit and choose to step back from the sport, which would just put him back at square one.

another alternate option for his life would be that he didn't leave los angeles when he required surgery for his condition. then he'd be basically all alone when you know who *cough cough, his ex* cheated on him and that would have been ugly. he also would have been very unhappy here, too, because california was never a place he enjoyed living. he's fine with living outside of his home state but only if he chooses the location (and los angeles was not chosen by him). after the päivi incident, it'd be worse.

last one: what if he didn't break up with päivi? if he stayed with her, he could make it work, but it would NEVER be the same. he'd always be very uncomfortable and fearful around her, and they'd continue to be in conflict. plus, he'd have to consider the reason behind the cheating, which was because she was homesick. 100% he'd be too nervous to assert that he does not want to leave the country to live in finland, a place that he's not super in love with because of his dad, and he'd be stuck probably moving away with her. he's not going to reject her on that if he doesn't break up with her.

SORRY THAT WAS A LOT

but you know, ironically, grant is on the best path tbh, given that his early life is an unchangeable horror that he couldn't control. had he chosen any other path i mentioned, he'd be MUCH worse off. and i didn't even delve into all the times grant attempted to kill himself. had he been successful...well, he'd be dead, but the repercussions on his family and friends would be heartbreaking.

2. what is your favorite thing about your OC?

this is going to sound VERY basic but honestly, i like that grant is just a nice guy despite it all. shannon conveyed to him in a story post that it's amazing he manages to remain so kind and that's true, i think. he COULD be a hateful and bitter person, but somehow, he still tries to see the best in people and would give up everything in him to take care of or be kind to someone.

it's tragic in a way, you know, but still impressive.

i also like that he's learning to know when to put his foot down. he is figuring out that some people actually don't deserve that goodness in him. like i said above about the alternate lives thing, grant is smart and willing to learn, and even though healing is painful and leads him to make some of the most embarrassing "mistakes", he is still learning. he can admit he doesn't know everything (and he certainly doesn't know everything about life.)

[cloudwhisper23]

I saw this 20 questions for fic writers thing on my dash, so I'm doing it now that I'm back to my computer! Also expect writing to return soon, lol

1. How many works do you have on A03?

I currently have 9 works on Ao3! That number would be way higher if I posted all the fics I wrote on Tumblr to Ao3 though.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

Total.... hang on, I need a calculator for this one.

271,112 words! I thought it would be higher, tbh. But again, I don't post everything to Ao3, so that's just a fraction of my writing.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I write for Five Nights at Freddy's (the games) and Hollow Knight. I do also write for other stuff, but I don't post it, so that's not important.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Misguided Protection

There Are Others

Finding a Home

Deal with the Devil

Becoming a Family

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try my best to respond to comments. Typically it'll be an emoji response, mainly to acknowledge my readers when they get all excited. But sometimes people have suggestions or questions, and I feel that if I wrote something confusing, it's my job to explain what's going on (only for fanfiction though. Since I don't revise it before I post)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm.... Probably There Are Others, since I at least tried to give most of them happy endings. But this fic is the reason my friends keep a kill count.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Misguided Protection

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really? It's more that people challenge my view and how I chose to write the story, but I've never gotten outright hate before.

9. Do you write smut?

I don't post it, but yeah.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Within the same fandom. I write crossovers of different AUs within the same fandom, but I do not write crossovers between fandoms. Not currently, at least.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, but it never saw the light of day (it was a minecraft fic I co-wrote with someone in elementary school)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

All-time? Uhhhh, I've determined that gay ships are absolutely my favorite thing ever. So my favorite is probably one of those. But it changes depending on fandom fixations honestly. Buuuuut, outside of fandom logistics, I'd still say Jeremike. Even though it's a silly one. I just love how people write that ship.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a giant incomplete folder of fnaf fics that I've started writing, but they haven't seen the light of day. Which means I've forgotten a bunch of stuff within that. But truth be told, I do want to continue writing Becoming a Family, even though I don't think I'll ever touch it again. My flow just never seems to be in the right place when I try to work on it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm good at silly banter and dialogue in general.

I'm pretty good at adapting to sudden challenges in my writing (aka, plotholes that I've already posted) to still justify things happening as well. But not nearly as good as I am at dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm terrible at writing descriptions. I'll never forget the day I realized my friends genuinely thought my OC Mikayla was tall, despite how much I tried to write her as short. I usually don't write with physical characteristics in mind, so that used to be my justification, but since i had a clear picture in mind and it did not come across properly, I have to say descriptions are my weakness.

I'd also say romance, but my friends tell me I'm better than I think I am.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I stress out about that sort of thing. I wrote in Spanish for an art trade once (dialogue only, of course), and I made my friends fact-check every sentence to ensure it sounded natural. I could do it, but it's not really something I enjoy.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

MCYT. It was a different group of people back then, but that notebook is still sitting in my house, and I still get embarassed just thinking about it.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

My favorite? Honestly, it's one I'm writing right now. It's a fnaf fic, but I haven't posted much about it yet. It's called Runaway Mike, and I'm super excited about how it's turning out so far. Probably not one I'll post for a while yet.

[alex-and-coffee]

So. I need to get my thoughts out on the last Doctor Who special. I've seen posts with takes that I very much disagree with and didn't want to derail them with my thoughts, so here we are.

(Also. These are my personal thoughts and so they are going to be very self centered. That said, I am open to discussion if you wanna add your two cents.)

(Also also. This became an ESSAY lmao I had more to say than I thought so I'm putting in a read more so it doesn't completely take up your dash haha)

I will first say that I do agree that not mentioning Martha and Yaz weird. They were important to the Doctor and I can't think of a reason why they weren't mentioned among the others. Also, the ending to The Giggle wasn't great. It was anticlimactic, rushed, and made the Toymaster seem like he wasn't an actual threat? It felt more like someone was pulling his strings tbh. There are probably more things I could say about it but this post isn't about my criticisms of the episodes.

Another quick note, I like the bi-regeneration. My interpretation is 15 is the regeneration of 14 after he's lived his life, but instead of regenerating at the end of 14's life, he's regenerating early because of the Toymaker.

To start with the first thing that has me ruffled is that, to me, Ncuti shone in the role as the Doctor. He was charismatic, joyful and fun - we're getting something different and exciting. We got time with him before his first official episode and that made me very excited for his run as the Doctor (I will add that after seeing the trailer that I am worried about the Christmas special because goblins eating babies? Antisemitism anyone?).

This episode was the happy ending for 14 and the exciting beginning for 15. I don't understand where the complaints of 15 being undercut or being overshadowed by 14. To me it functioned as a soft reset - we got 14 settling down with the Mott-Noble-Temple family to rest and heal from his trauma while 15 goes and starts his adventures without all the baggage of 9-14's runs. Healing isn't linear either, and he still has that history so it can be referenced to and can come up later, but 15 is truly happy ("fixed" - though I hate that they phrased it that way) in a way that he hasn't been in NuWho (I haven't seen classic Who so I can't say anything about it). People don't change until the pain of not changing outweighs the pain of staying the same. If we didn't see that change happen in the Doctor, then I wouldn't have bought a transition from Jodi's Doctor (who represses absolutely everything) to Ncuti's Doctor, who's been magically "fixed".

I've seen several posts about how 14 regressed on 13's happiness and made the Doctor sad again, which. I would say misinterprets 13 in a pretty fundamental way. Her smile and happiness is a mask 13 hides behind. She's hurting and bottles all of it up to shove out of sight in the hopes that if she ignores it it will go away. She's running away just as much as her previous regenerations, which is shown in the way that she doesn't share anything personal about herself. She doesn't talk about her history with anyone she travels with, she even brushes her hurt off when Jack, who has been with her through some of her shit, asks if she's ok. (This. might not be the best point bc it feels like Jack excepts her to be ok, and 13 does have people pleasing tendencies, but still. They're friends and he does care about her. I think getting thrown into prison to break her out demonstrates this point.) Even when the fam corner her and ask if she's ok, it never continues into a productive conversation - either she deflects or it gets awkward fast because they don't know how to reply to what she's said and it never goes anywhere. She's such a repressed mess I don't know how anyone interprets her as genuinely happy. (Just to note before anyone thinks I'm hating, I do love 13. She's pretty high up on my list of favourite Doctors.)

Now (the main reason why I wanted to make this post), to explain why I think Donna is kind of the perfect person for the Doctor to go to to stop and rest and heal. (Disclaimer - 10 and Donna are my favourites. While I love them a whole lot, I am trying to be fair when I think about this. Please keep that in mind.)

Of the NuWho companions, after crossing off the people that are dead, not on this Earth/universe, and left of their own volition; you are left with Donna and Yaz.

(I'm struggling to keep things kind of concise, so I'm going to make a list that is hopefully comprehensive.)

I'm going to start with Yaz, and I do like her, but I'm gonna outline why I don't think she would be a good option.

Yaz is young. She's in her early 20's, and as someone who is also in their early 20s, I'm gonna straight up say that helping someone rest and recover through lifetimes (multiple!) of trauma is not something Yaz is going to be equipped to handle.

Yaz has only just started her life. She's driven and loves the adventures she's had with the Doctor, so much so that she stayed with the Doctor after everyone else left. Yaz would get as restless as the Doctor, resulting in either more adventures or resentment.

Yaz is in love with her. We get the scenes where the Doctor says she would but can't, and in them Yaz looks heartbroken. If the circumstances were different then maybe they could have, but they're not so they can't. Yaz needs time to heal her heartbreak, which she can't really do if the Doctor is still around (and whether or not the Doctor is 13, they're still the Doctor and would still be difficult for Yaz. Also difficult for the Doctor bc she did love Yaz but her fear and trauma was unfortunately too much for her to risk it).

Just to repeat, I think Yaz should have been mentioned in the episode. It doesn't make sense for someone who the Doctor has explicitly stated they loved not to be mentioned.

And here are the reasons why I think Donna was the good choice.

Donna and the Doctor make each other better during their run together. Donna reminds him that he can do good, even if the impact is small. The Doctor shows her that she matters, and is brilliant.

Although he doesn't know it at the time, the Doctor is given an opportunity to save Donna and return her memories, undoing one of the things he has massive guilt over.

Donna is someone who has settled down. She has a house, a husband, a kid. She knows what it's like to go a bit crazy being stuck in one place (even if not for the same reasons). She has the ability and experience to help the Doctor through it. She is also someone who will enforce his rest and healing while knowing what it's like to want to be doing something.

Donna also comes with an added support system because her family is pretty close knit, with a particular spotlight on Wilf ('I'd be proud to have you as a father', anyone?).

This so pretty long and if you're still here then thanks for reading! Mainly I wrote it to put my thoughts out there so I don't explode. If you have any thoughts about this and are gonna be nice about it, then feel free to add to this post :)

[reginarubie]

Hey have a couple for the ship thoughts questions:

Sansa and margs

Sansa and Dan

Jon and Dan

Dan and missandie

Jon's dad and mom ( for some reason I'm blanking on their names, all I can remember is R+l=j)

Ned and cat

Ned and asha dayne ( the rumoured lady that Ned loves ad beded but settled for cat)

Jamie and cers

Jemie and Brienne

Tyrion and tysha?? The one that truly loved him but he believed his family and treated her like... left her

-

Merlin and Arthur

Arthur and Morgan

Arthur and Gwen

Gwen and Merlin

gwen and that knight

steve Harrington and Nancy wheeler

Nancy wheeler and Jonathan

El and Mike

El and will

Will and Mike

nancy and Robin

Crissy and Eddie

Robin and Steve

Joyce and jim

Hi anon!,

For the series send me ships and I'll give my brutally honest opinion:

part I

part II

Let's go ahead and since in your ask you've divided it by fandoms let's do the same in my reply! A little premise, this doesn't meant to offend in any way the shippers of any of the ships I will be brutally honest about.

Ship what you wanna ship and enjoy what you wanna enjoy. This is just my opinion on why I like or not these ships.

ASOIAF

SANSA AND MARGAERY

To be brutally honest I don't hate it outside of canon.

In canon even though it can be considered one of the purest relationships Sansa lives (and it's because it's depicted by her POV) I really hope it never happens in any circumstances.

Albeit growing fond of Sansa we can't forget that Margaery is a manipulator who is doing the dirty job by gaining Sansa's friendship and loyalty to further forward her family's ambition and tho it's an ugly game the one they are playing, and as she is herself says in show!verse, because I can't recall that happening in book!verse at all, “women in our position should make the best of their circumstances” it makes the way Sansa honestly feels about her and their friendship sound even more like a fraud.

Sansa considers Margaery her truest friend in Kings Landing after Jeyne is taken away from her, and thinks that her presence and unfailing kindness changed everything for her. Because Margaery made her feel appreciated and loved and wanted, completely opposite as how Sansa has been treated as a pariah.

And all the while Margaery has been instead manipulating her to get through her, the claim to Winterfell and the North for her family at which point with a queen on the throne and a Warden of the North in the family, their riches and being the granary of the 7K, the Tyrells would have become virtually unstoppable.

I don't doubt Margaery grew fond of Sansa (what's not to grow fond of, of a girl who puts in jeopardy her life to tell you the truth, a truth you already know, about the king you're supposed to marry only so that you are spared the abuse she suffered?) as did Garlan who took the time to comfort her at her marriage feast.

Still, I feel like Margaery was succeeding in what Littlefinger has been trying to do all along. Using the right key she was managing to gain Sansa's loyalty and a Stark loyalty is a powerful thing (especially with the might of the North at their back).

It makes every moment shown between them in the show or in the book sound even worse and sour in my mouth.

Tbh Sansa is going to realize exactly how easily the Tyrells framed her for Joff's murder, uncaring if that threw her even further in the mouth of the lions (for however knowing of it Marg was). She'll probably always think fondly of Margaery for the kindness she has shown her, because that is who Sansa is, but I doubt she's ever going to trust her implicitly like she did in KL ever again in canon.

Sansa is afraid she's never going to be loved in any capacity beyond what her claim means to the people around her, it's why, I believe she's going to appreciate Jon all the more in canon because boy is out there defending her claim only because it's hers , no matter which last name she sports, going against his own ambition (which he himself describes as hunger) to instead defend her.

So... on a scale 5/10 in canon because of all manipulation going on. Outside of canon I am all for supporting relationships and as far as I am aware that is the nature of their ship outside of canon so: good for them!

By Dan I'm going to assume you mean Daenerys. So let's go ahead.

SANSA AND DAENERYS

Okay, time to be brutally honest here.

Had Daenerys be a male, Sansa would've been meant for her. It's why the whole Jon/Sansa and Young Griff/Sansa make historic sense.

Sansa is based off several historical figures, but mostly she's based off Elizabeth of York and Elizabeth Tudor.

The heir to the dynasty which has been overthrown returning with the might of three dragons, and the girl (the eldest surviving child) who is the heir apparent to another great family/dynasty with two brothers presumed dead, the daughter by a lord beloved by the kingdom and beloved she herself. Soft and feminine, but with a will of steel. With a dubious relationship with her uncle (LF is her uncle by marriage).

It makes historic sense.

But in canon GRRM has gone with a different twist of this story and has created two Elizabeth's. Sansa and Arianne. I am a firm believer that Young Griff might really be Elia's son, and I think a marriage alliance with the Martells through Arianne would make sense, tho I think in the end Arianne is going to end up with Daemon Sand (a bastard with a valyrian name, would you look at that?). Kind of like Jon, who I refuse to believe might be considered trueborn, because in the show they might have given him several part of Young Griff's plot in the books and Sansa.

Also I believe that both the North and Dorne are going to go free (the swords of the northerners and the dornish are the only ones that are not in the Iron throne, which is symbolic and might mean they will break off the 7K and be the queen/princess guiding their people and beloved by them), beyond their romances.

To top of that, in canon, Martin has taken every care in the world to make Sansa and Daenerys as similar as he can, whilst making them completely different and setting them up to become moral and political rivals. He made Daenerys to be Cleopatra and Sansa to be her Octavian.

I actually wrote an entire post based mostly on show canon, but it also applies to book canon (even more actually) in which I give clues as to why they've been set up from the beginning to become political and moral rivals (might actually upgrade that one with visual clues and textual clues in the book at one point). You can find it here.

I think that the greatest part of Daenerys tragedy is that hers is the story of how an abused and how the trauma she endured has turned her to what she is slowly becoming. Had she had a better example to learn of, someone to look up to that might teach her the right ways she might have turned completely different. Had she known the real love of her family, she might have turned out differently. Had she had been able to get the help she needed to overcome her trauma and the coping mechanisms she had to use to survive, she might have turned out completely differently. But as it is, it didn't happen and that's the root of her tragedy.

And I think that that is also what differentiates her from Sansa. She's not a bad girl to start off, just like Sansa isn't...both suffer terrible abuse and survive but they have had different examples in their life and when Sansa knows plenty well the difference between love and fear, in Daenerys' journey they often overlap, which makes them fundamentally different in their core and ends up pitting them against one another.

So in canon -10/10; outside of canon, it can be very fun to write and read.

[I myself have a couple of fics about them, tho I've not dedicated near enough time to them as I should've. One is a twisted version of Robin Hood with Daenerys as Robin Hood and Sansa as lady Marian, and another is a modern AU.]

JON AND DAENERYS

In canon (both show!verse and book!verse) I believe that if it happens it's going to be about Jon pulling a 007 on us all, like he already did with Ygritte and the wildlings. It makes textual sense because again, Martin has taken all the care in the world to ensure that Jon and Daenerys are at the opposite side of the spectrum when it comes to rule.

Also, the answer to Jon's prayers and dreams is Sansa, not Daenerys. So a bit like the Jon/Arya ship it would take away everything he wants from him to ship him with Daenerys and at the same time Jon is not Daenerys type at all.

As I've already said and actually spoke about in another meta, in Daenerys' life love/power/fear overlap and her type is the rogue, dangerous men capable of doing anything, even killing without any remorse (Drogo and Daario).

BookJon is several time more interesting than showJon, he's petty and clever and politically astute (I mean, boy managed to get the Iron bank to give the Watch a loan whilst drunk and seventeen; and he swapped two children, possibly putting them both in peril in a desperate attempt to save them from an horrific death) also I think, after all he did to save Mance's son was to make sure neither baby could be sacrificed at Melisandre's call; when he gets whiff of Stannis sacrificing Shireen at Melisandre's counsel (or doing so because spurned by all of Melisandre talks about kingsblood) he is going to trust Daenerys even less, especially if what has been shown in the show (her meeting Kinvara and having the red priestess starting to claim she is the princess who was promised and Melisandre being in Dragonstone when Jon gets there or wherever they will have that encounter) happens in the books as well. Which I believe it might, since dragons are fire made flesh and the red priests and priestess think that fires washes all sins and terrors away.

So, beyond Jon loosing everything he ever wished for, it would go against Jon's own character ever falling in love with her, but it would be completely in character for him to go ninja undercover on her and do whatever it takes to get the dragons to defend Winterfell, the North and his family. What more, Jon is by now, bleeding out dead in the snows of Castle Black and as per my theory about resurrected characters in asoiaf (on which I am working on to post, I promise, to anyone still waiting for it) Jon died a Stark defender, that is the core of his identity and that is what he'll be in his most pure form when he returns to life, especially after being in Ghost for so long.

Also, the way they depicted in the showverse might actually be pretty telling of what may happen in book canon and that's terrible.

Also, not only would Jon loose everything he ever wanted, but the way I've seen this ship depicted (not that I've given it way too much attention beyond what I've written for them in historical AU) it always kind of makes Jon blend in the background and Daenerys get everything she wants sometimes even stepping on what Jon cares for, which is what they gave us in show canon. To Jon the most important part of his identity are the Starks. He is the youngest child biologically speaking, but he is one of the big brothers of House Stark, and that is his core. He died because he wanted to break millennia of neutrality of the Watch to save his sister. And often this ship ends up suppressing this side of Jon.

So -5/10 both in show canon and book canon.

DAENERYS AND MISSANDEI

I'll go ahead and assume you meant only show verse, because we've got more than enough of Daenerys with Irri in the books to be sick with it, and with the way Daenerys stops it not because Irri doesn't enjoy it but because her not enjoying it was blatant enough that her kisses tasted of duty; she didn't stop because she felt like it was wrong to use another human being that way, but merely because she herself did not enjoy being kissed as if it was a duty.

Show verse Daenerys and Missandei had that gal-to-gal friendship depicted with Daenerys even braiding Missandei's hair, which I don't think ever happened in the books, tho I may be wrong. And Missandei is the only one Daenerys goes back for to KL, even tho she lost a number of other allies (The Sand Snakes and Yara Greyjoy), so I can see why some people may find it appealing to their tastes for the way the show depicted it, plus they're both hot and determined young women.

Why I think it shouldn't be applied in the books? It'd make it essentially grooming on D part.

In the books to begin with Missandei is a child, younger than Daenerys whom Daenerys says she wants to protect, whom she takes into her service after buying her from the masters in Astapor and whilst (besides the slaves at the end of Dany X in AGOT) Missandei is the only other former slave Daenerys frees but she does so with the intention of gaining her loyalty long enough to gather information from her about the Unsullied and how to move once she had bought them. Which subsenquentially spurns her to make them ever loyal only to her, slaves in all, save in name, because she never truly frees them, what she does it overlap the concept of freedom with that of dracarys and being the dragon's, all with the scourge still in hand.

So, I can see some of the appeal in show verse and it's pretty wholesome as far as Daenerys' relationships go in being depicted in the show 6/10

RHAEGAR AND LYANNA

Talk about another man grooming a child into a relationship. Okay, I'll hold off the gun because we aren't given too much context here, but what we've got is that Rhaegar was a twenty-four years old man with wife and children, obsessed with a prophecy who essentially eloped with a girl of barely fourteen years of age.

Now whilst such an age difference wouldn't have been the greatest possible in that historical context what makes it worse is that Lyanna was a highly dedicated to her family and romantic young lady and that Rhaegar was already married and with two kids.

What happened was that either he abducted her (like Robert claimed) or persuaded her to elope with him (like the show would suggest). Possibly he married her in some kind of secret marriage (which would defeat the point of not causing a fucking war and would bastardize his children, which it's hinted that it's not what he wanted, since he believed Aegon, his son by Elia, to be the Prince who was promised) or not, but then he sired a child from her, didn't account for his crime and let his father execute his wife/lover's father and brother thus provoking a war and alienating his wife/lover from her family. He then took her and secluded her in a fucking tower in Dorne (the homeland of his left behind wife just to be even more of a jerk) not even once trying to amend the problems he had caused.

What we know of Lyanna as per reverse, is that she was fiercely loyal to her House and loved her father and brothers (the only line we know by her was “That is my father's bannerman you are kicking!” when she defended Howland Reed at Harrenhal and she then entered the tourney secretly to avenge him) and we have to believe that that same girl would just accept her husband/lover secluded her in Dorne and fought against her family and accept her father and brother had been brutally killed?

Not bloody likely.

What I think more likely is that Rhaegar might have taken a fancy to Lyanna because of her youth and her determination, for she might have reminded him of Visenya's temperament and since he wanted to recreate the whole Aegon and his sisters, with Elia unable possibly to carry more children he decided Lyanna would do for a mother, endangering a girl of fourteen whom may have been on her first cycles.

He might have then seduced her, which most handsome man of the 7K, a prince and basically fancying her for what other suitors may find disgraceful? Tho, we'd have to assume Lyanna didn't care that he had other children, tho she cared that Robert had sired a bastard girl before marriage, which again doesn't make any sense. But let's say Lyanna was young and easily seduced by such a man.

He very clearly then actually abduct her and seclude her in a tower whilst pregnant, alone and away from her family, warring in her and her father's name.

It appears to me that the only good thing coming from that particular ship was Jon. And believe me, Jon is not going to take well his parentage, even if he ended up being trueborn, because he prides himself of being Eddard Stark's son tho lowborn, I don't think the same might be said for Rhaegar.

-1000/10 we respect no jerk in this household and Rhaegar left his wife and children behind unprotected (his daughter died screaming for her dad, under whose bed she had hid... the same dad who left her behind to groom a girl barely older than her), and secluded a fourteen year old girl whom he had gotten pregnant, alone in a tower in Dorne to fight a war he lost, all for the sake of a damn prophecy. The jerkometer hits the stars with him. He can choke for the way he treated both Elia and Lyanna and his children.

Good thing he sons have taken after their mothers and the men who raised them more than him.

NED AND CAT

10000/10 would recommend. And this is my shipper heart speaking.

Tbh though they are one of the most wholesome and truest, healthiest relationship in all of asoiaf, even with the matter of Jon's parentage to settle between them, they loved each other. They learned to love each other and build their family, a family they died to protect. Trusted and respected each other.

I mean Neddie boy turned from lethal, dangerous direwolf to tail-wagging puppy the moment he saw his wife in KL, and noticed she had been attacked by the way she held her hands, that's the degree of attentiveness we want in a man, okay?

Cat last thought was the fact that Ned loved her hair and that she didn't want it ruined even in death. Ned was her rock, to the point that even dead he was her support system.

Ned defended her by justifying her actions in taking Tyrion in custody as if commanded by him and Ned-I-know-better-than-that-oaf-of-my-best-friend-the-king, idealistic Ned Stark listened to his wife when she told him to trust LF. Dumb move, but still it gives you the degree at which they trusted and relied on each other.

With their fragilities and flaws they are one of my most beloved ships in asoiaf.

NED AND ASHARA DAYNE

We know next to nothing to this, saved that people gossiped about it, and about the fact that Ashara might have been Jon's mother. May it be that it happened, may it be that it didn't.

I think that even if it did it was heartbreaking, sad and bittersweet.

I am sure that if Martin were to give us more info, or write about it it'd be pretty real and cutting in its depiction/mirroring of the time and context of asoiaf.

So, on trust I give it 7.5/10.

JAIME AND CERSEI

For how it's written like this fated, hateful, passionate and destroying relationship I have to tap my hat to GRRM and give it a 8/10 on the manner of how much I like the way it was written...meh. I think it's pretty interesting and that it is the root of much of the problems Jaime and Cersei actually face.

In a scale of how much I enjoy it, tho, I'd give it a 4/10, BUT with the theme of rape not withstanding which would crush it down at -1000/10.

Sorry I am more for healthy, supporting relationships, as much as possible in every fiction and context. But if it's someone else's cup of tea, good for them.

JAIME AND BRIENNE

Reverse Beauty and the Beast story, in which the one who looks like a beauty is a beast and the one who looks beastly is a beauty. Pretty interesting to read, also because I think its root is that Jaime sees bits of the himself he sacrificed for his father and the people of KL in Brienne's vision of the world.

Still...read again the whole bath scene and consider it closely (I did a step-by-step with Tyrion and Sansa wedding night here) is it really worth being shipped?

In some contexts it doesn't bother me much...in canon I think it's going to be heartbreaking for Brienne.

3/10 I'm giving it a 3 merely because despite sexualizing her internally during the bath scene, Jaime doesn't actually act on that, and returns to save her because he has dreamt of her and because the sodding idiot is so foolish he has followed her in the Riverlands like she was his guide-light. And in other context could be pleasing to read about.

TYRION AND TYSHA

I have actually written a series of several metas about it, you can find the first installment here, the others will be linked at the end. Anyway, I honestly hope Tyrion never finds her.

Since departing KL his whole mantra has been searching for Tysha and at every stop they make, even in a brothel where he rapes a young girl who looks like Sansa, he asks after her and asks himself “where do whores go?” which is what Tywin told him.

I hope he never finds her, because Tysha was no whore, no matter what they did to her. They were the whores in the equation, so I dearly hope he never finds her, because Tysha was not a whore to begin with. Tho, I'd really enjoy her freezing him out once he returns to her with that arrogant brazenness he has, which will lead him to realize he is exactly like the father he hated so much.

100/10 Tysha living off her life peacefully and freezing Tyrion out if he ever finds her.

-1000/10 their ship. I hope Tyrion ends up realizing he never found Tysha because he searched the wrong places all along.

And that was it for asoiaf. Let's step in the next one, Merlin!

MERLIN

So, I am assuming we are speaking of Merlin the tv series and not the legend, because then it'd get very messy, albeit interesting.

MERLIN AND ARTHUR

Just kiss already.

1000/10 whatever way we wanna see it, romantically as a friendship or simply two people caring for each other, the chemistry was off charts for starters (like c'mon “do you walk on your knees?” “No” “Let me help you” and all the “I could take you apart with one blow” “I could take you apart with less than that”...I mean and all in the first minutes of the pilot?) and it was just that pure.

Arthur thinking Merlin was the bravest man he knew. Braver than his father (who he idolized for a long time) braver than himself and braver than all the knights he was surrounded by. Arthur thanking Merlin, noticing Merlin's moods and believing in him. Accepting him also for his magic in the end and Merlin being satisfied with only being his servant for his whole life, Merlin never telling him the truth not because he thought Arthur may kill him, but because he didn't want to put Arthur in the position he had to chose between their friendship and the kingdom he was governing and the beliefs he had...

... it's just so wholesome and heartbreaking. There's a video on youtube with the parallels of the entire series and there is one with Merlin getting his hair messed by Arthur and then him passing by his resting site in the modern day bowing his head like he did that one time... I'm not okay, alright?

[Forgive me as I go cry in a corner for the next thousand years]

ARTHUR AND MORGANA

That one was really well delivered.

If they ended up with a last desperate, passionate kiss I would've found it believable that was how good they have depicted that love/hate relationship and whilst there was some chemistry and hints at it in the earlier seasons, I think one thing the show runners got right was their siblings energy.

10/10 if they went that way it would've be believable and c'mon everyone loves star crossed lovers who became each other enemy because of differing views and ideals and ended up killing each other. Twisted love story, here I come.

ARTHUR AND GWEN

My two favs in the same ship, am I gonna ship it? Honestly? Hell yeah!

1000/10 would recommend. Funny, dorky and passionate and romantic all the same time. Also pure enough that to their knowledge Gwen did cheat on Arthur (tho she never could explain why and no one explained to them her head had been tampered with, despite her snapping out of it almost as soon as it happened) and he forgave her, took her back and she forgave herself and they were true to each other. Honestly, heartbroken on their end.

Albeit how believable it was the way they depicted and delivered I am forever simping over Arthur fucking Pendragon naming her his heir (thus making the dynasty a dynasty by which standards both male and females could inherit) because he had faith in the world she had to build. And sad over my fav Guinevere finally have the power to make the changes she always advocated for, but loosing everything she held dear (her friendship with Morgana, her first love and the love of her life as well as Merlin, because we all know how griefstricken he must've been) to gain it, and still persevering with the grace and strength she had all through it all. No wonder Arthur fell in love with her.

Also, I don't know if you mean Lancelot or Leon for Gwen and the knight. So I'll give my opinion on both:

Gwen and Lancelot, 8/10 sweet and supporting but marred by Lancelot deciding to move away instead than staying with her and Gwen not asking as the supporting woman she is.

Gwen and Leon, 9/10 I feel like they would be the kind of people that might end up together when the love of their life has passed away and find comfort in each other, and love, albeit different, still strong and supporting. I can see them grow old together with Arthur not in the picture anymore.

Then, onto Stranger Things we go, I must say something tho. I am not this great fan of ST so my opinion is only based of what little I've seen on tumblr and on the few episodes I've seen. So it's not going to be as elaborated as the one we've seen until now, because I know the show less and thus I'm going mostly by feel and not by analysis.

STRANGER THINGS

NANCY AND STEVE

Soft, sweet, dorky and funny. 10/10 would ship them by what little I've seen. Tho I don't see them having a very long term, as in endgame, relationship. Friendship and support, crush? Seriously, of course. But somehow I get the impression at some point they would grow a bit apart romantically, but I might be wrong. Still I'd watch it gladly. So gimme it.

NANCY AND JONATHAN

Feels like it makes sense, good chemistry might be the actors who are together, I think?, anyway it seeps into the characters so it makes it believable. Also Jonathan seems like the kind of gloomy kid who has a heart of gold and would break generational abuse patterns. So 8/10 but only because I feel like the funny, dorky side of it might be a bit missing.

ELEVEN AND MIKE

They seem cute, still don't convince me for some reason. Feels a bit wrong to me. Don't ask me why, I've not seen enough to tell you clearly, just...they feel off, like they don't belong together romantically. Though it may be one of those slow-burn ships that gets more and more believable as time passes.

6/10

ELEVEN AND WILL

Sorry, I don't know why but it bothers me a bit, I find it...wrong? I don't know, by what I've seen they're better off as friends and I don't see that much chemistry between characters, the actors are adorable when they're out of character, but inside the story from what little I've seen... friends I can see, lovers...not so much. Again might be my impression is wrong because I've not seen the whole thing so I don't know.

It doesn't feel right to me.

5/10

NANCY AND ROBIN

From what I've seen cute and funny and easygoing as well as soft. Totally would love to see it if they ever went in that direction. Even if it's not endgame it feels plausible for that to happen, wether it be a one-sided crush, only a crush never acted upon or a love story.

8/10

CRISSY AND EDDIE

Again, by what I've seen between the serie and tumblr... YES! Give me more, now!

10/10 would love to see more of it.

ROBIN AND STEVE

Always gave me the vibe of partners in crime. Funny to watch, don't think it has any romantic hues, but even only for their dynamic as friends I'd watch several episodes in a row. So I'd give it a 7/10.

JOYCE AND JIM

Tbh I don't really have a disposition either in a sense or another with this one. A couple of badass shots, but I don't really have enough to form a brutally honest opinion, so I guess... 6/10?

MIKE AND WILL

Now this one has potential. I feel like whether they'll play it one-sided, both sided but doomed, or endgame it feels plausible and credible.

It feels cuttingly real. So 100/10 on ground of it feeling plausible, credible and the kind of love that even when unrequited might be enough to send you off the rails.

I think I've gotten them all. Feel free to point out if I missed one, sorry again if the brutally honest opinions on Stranger things are neither that brutal, neither opinions truly, but I'm not really into it, I've watched it sparsely and thus know almost next to nothing about them.

Hope you enjoyed and thank you for the ask!

[soulsxng]

Sivel committed ✨war crimes and atrocities✨ but how does his family feel about that?

Honestly, Sivel himself hated it at first, because that wasn't at all the kind of person that he was. He grew up relatively sheltered, and he had a lot of love for his people, and his realm, and just...everything in general tbh? And over time, different things slowly started to make him act like something he wasn't.

Then the war happened, and he was immediately thrown to the wolves. His experiences taught him that being nice, and loving, and wanting to help people wasn't the best way to do things. That difficult decisions were easier to make if he took the person he was, and shoved it down as deep as he could, so it wouldn't get in the way. It made things hurt less, too.

So even now, he hates all the things that he had to do, but he's just so used to like...not acknowledging any part of himself that he views as "weak", that I don't even think he realizes it anymore. And it's only now that he has his family and his friends mostly whole again, and the danger is mostly passed, that certain people can catch little glimpses of Sivel as he used to be, and of how deeply everything back then truly effected him.

As for his family though, it's kind of a mixed bag. Naya and Ranadi think that he went too far in some things back then, but considering everything, they don't hold it against him. Seeing him do bad things now, however...that's something they're less okay with. And though Ranadi usually keeps quiet about it unless it's really bad, Naya has no qualms about telling Sivel she doesn't agree with it.

Sivan, Ania, and Cyrus are a little different. Sivan was the only one that was around during the war that was old enough to somewhat remember it, and even then, he was only the equivalent of somewhere between 5 and 7 years old. Ania was literally born immediately before the end of the war, and Cyrus has only ever read about the war, or heard bits and pieces about it from the family that was there. So there's mixed reviews on whether or not they accept what Sivel did back then...all of them are heavily against his acting that way now though, and it was primarily because of them that Sivel started to realize that he doesn't have to be like that, anymore.

Alsina also has a similar issue to Sivel, where when she's really passionate about something, there's very little she wouldn't do to see it happen. And while she does generally do better at listening to reason, or talking herself out of it, she would never hold any of Sivel's actions-- past or present-- against him, personally. There was a short time, when he wasn't really doing his job after the Vasyrus were brought back (because Quella had literally JUST left him), that she was planning to do something about him, but that didn't last too long.

And even though Quella isn't technically family anymore, I'll include her in here too, because she used to be. Even during the war, there were some things that Sivel did that she literally begged him not to do. There was a lot that she saw in him back then that scared her a lot, and there were times she almost felt like she couldn't recognize him at all from who she knew him to be. Over time though, she slowly grew more...complacent to it, I guess? Or dismissive? Half because of something else, and half because she felt she couldn't stop him, and-- being the only person at the time that saw Sivel's breakdowns during this period-- felt that it was more important for her to be there to support him and keep him from completely falling apart.

Current day, when they were still together, she went back to trying to steer him away from doing bad things. She still tries, to this day, but also knows there's only so much she can do now without making things even worse.

So yeah. None of them approve of Sivel doing messed up stuff these days, but the stuff he did in the past? It really depends on the person.

[leafyduckwebs]

I SEE VENTI AS AROACE TOO AND I KIND OF WANNA SEE WHY YOU DO AS WELL (if you're comfortable sharing!!) GQIDBEKWWJ

We may have different reasons and I'm. I shall explain myself but I see Venti as just very...????? I can't verbalize myself well rn because I just got out of something grueling (and if this fly doesn't leave me alone it had best be prepared to face the wrath of a god.) I see Venti as quite literally just a wisp of wind. A bit of wind. He's a wisp of anemo playing pretend, molding himself into the body of a human he was attached to in some form. He's just very? Non human to me. How would the wind feel attracted to anything? I see him in a similar light to HSR's aeons, more like a concept than a normal person tbh

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO ANSWER IT'S FINE <333

And Venti shippers are cool no hate, Zhongven comics always make me laugh sjsjsj

YAY SHARED HC SHARED HC !!! You're not even my only genshin friend who's an aroace Venti truther....I'm like a magnet for cool based people,,,,,

Tbh I always viewed Venti as aroace but I didn't realize it for a bit at first. Like whenever I stumbled upon ship art or anything sexualizing him as a new player I was like "Nuh uh 🤨 this is NOT a vibe 😐👎👎 Boo 🍅🍅!!!"

OK YOUR REASONING WITH HIM BEING THE WIND IS SO COOL !! MIGHT STEAL IT IDK. I mainly see him as aroace because I can't see him having romantic or sexual feelings at all tbh. I just do not see it. Also a lot of his character is based of platonic love and I don't wanna overshadow that with shipping. This guy IS platonic love and found family personified. I love seeing art/fics/voicelines/quests/etc that just show him loving everything around him.

To me he loves and adores every Mondstadt character like a parent would with their child because they literally are his children in a way. This man took down a tyrant for his best friend and took on said friend's form so he could create a better future. As a god he literally changed the geography to make his land more comfortable for the people iirc. He loves Aether/Lumine as a friend and will absolutely accept them as one of his own if they wanted. He and Hu Tao are chaos besties fr fr. I don't see him loving Xiao as much, but he does care about him even though they never talk.

Zhongven is the only romantic ship of his I tolerate because they have a very good long standing relationship and old man yaoi is sacred :)

Also this isn't exactly a reason why he's aroace to me, but I don't ship him partly because I don't like some of his fandom. 90% of them are cool ofc, but sometimes genuinely what the hell is even happening over there!? Like after 4.4, some loud xiaoven shippers started harassing xiaoaether artists and that left a bad taste in my mouth for xiaoven permanently tbh. DON'T GET ME WRONG they're generally very cool but every character and ship has unhinged fans AAJKDSLKJD

[how-gross]

1:30am — Friday, June 14, 2024

I have so many obsessive thoughts tonight.

Two of my Youtooz Orders, that I ordered in March, were supposed to be shipped around May 15-June 15. And it’s June 14th, and I’m really nervous. They said they would email me when my order has been sent, but I’ve checked my email multiple times and I haven’t seen any email from their account.

It’s not the money I’m worried about losing. Those two Youtooz orders contained pins that were centered around MatPat and his involvement in the FNaF franchise, as a final goodbye. Youtooz is known for its strict timing and the fact that once time runs out, you’ll never be able to get those materials in the future again.

MatPat was a huge influence on my life. His theory videos not only taught me the fun of theory-crafting and analyzing, and not only showed me that sometimes overthinking can lead you down the right direction, but he was my escape from my difficult home life. I would watch his videos while my parents argued with one another for the 50th time in the other room. I would even watch him when I wasn’t going through some bad times, and he entertained me nonetheless. I’ve watched his last 10 theories, and I’ve watched his final theory livestream. But I ordered these pins and the MatPat figurine because I knew I wanted to prove that he was part of my life in some way— that I was around the time when MatPat was the original host of Game Theory, and that he will always have a place in my heart.

So for this to happen, as little as it may seem (but idgaf, it’s my vent account I get to rant about whatever I want even seemingly pointless shit) it scares me.

Along with that, one of my close friends is hosting a graduation party a day away. I’m excited for it, but there’s a slight, mini-problem. My supposed best friend (I don’t really consider her my best friend tbh — we’re too different, in my opinion — but I still try to treat her like one) is going as well, but for the past few days, she hasn’t spoken to me. She hasn’t even spoken in the group chat. I’m sure there are multiple reasons for this. For one, I can’t get at her for not calling me or texting me— I barely called or texted her back.

But that was communicated between us beforehand. Hell, she’s even made several jokes about how I won’t call or text her. And it’s not just her I do this to— I do this to all of my friends, even my family. Hell, even my significant other. And they’ve all made jokes about it, and they’ve all seemed fine with it. They know that I don’t do it on purpose or to be intentionally hateful.

I’m just not a talking person, and I hate calling people on the phone. I prefer texting, but even that becomes draining. My social battery gets drained quickly, and sometimes I just don’t want to talk to other people. I don’t mean anything personal by it, it’s just how I am. It’s how I’ve always been, ever since I got a device where I can communicate to other people on. When I do feel like talking or chatting, although they’ll be rare, I’ll text or call my friends. But I wouldn’t have to text or call them because we would see each other at school and talk then. I feel like my friends have always been understanding of that, especially my best friend. They’ve never complained to me about it; the most they’ve done is joke about it. And my best friend has always been more of an introvert herself. And there were times were she didn’t want to talk to anyone, and I respected that. I can’t judge her for not talking to me when I barely talk to her or anyone else, that wouldn’t be fair.

Plus, she just got a new car. She texted her new car to the group chat and everything. So I’m sure she’s busy enjoying her new car and using it to her advantage. Plus, she’s been working out (she’s fat and wants to lose weight for college), so I’m sure that takes up her time too. She’s an introvert and she has her own hobbies, so I’m sure she’s keeping herself busy with that.

But some part of my mind is like, “she’s lying to you. She’s secretly talking to one of your other friends in another text message that you don’t know about. She’s actually talking about you in that chat, talking bad about you, while saying nothing to your face. She’s grown to hate you, she doesn’t like you anymore, and she’s talking to that other girl about how much she doesn’t like you”.

I know this is most likely not true. Me and her have been close ever since I first got to Cabrini and we became close friends. We’ve always been on each other’s sides, especially during times when our current friend groups weren’t treating us fairly. Several times, our friend groups would fall apart, and I would always stick by my best friend’s side no matter what, even if that meant me getting backlash from the other people. Hell, when she would get blamed for and insulted by those same people, I would be there to defend her. We would stick by one another. I’ve been loyal to a fault with her. And I’ve always listened to her talk about her own family issues, and try my best to comfort her and appear understanding of her struggles. We’ve had some disagreements, but none that ended out in full-out fighting and breaking apart. And she’s very honest, and will straight-out tell another person how she feels.

But I don’t know. The other friend — the one that my brain tries to convince me that she’d rather be with than me — was the same one who tried to insult her and kick her out of the group beforehand. During that time, I stayed on her side and defended her, risking getting kicked out the group chat and getting very nasty glares from that other friend as well.

But that other friend and my best friend had more classes together than I did with my best friend — I was an honors student while my best friend and the other friend had regular classes, and me and my best friend didn’t have homeroom together — and eventually reconciled their differences. They got to spend more time with one another than me and my best friend got to.

I’d hate to say I’d be a little jealous, but I don’t know why I would be. It’s not like my best friend straight up said she didn’t want to be best friends anymore. And again, I don’t really consider her my best friend since we’re too different in my opinion, and I honestly feel like she’s treated me more as a therapist than an actual friend sometimes (not all the time; just sometimes). Plus, I spend a lot of time with the other friend’s best friend as well — we had more of the same honor classes together and had the same home room, so we had more chances to hang out — so I can’t say anything either.

I don’t know. I’m definitely overthinking things, I know it. I’ve been pretty depressed lately, to the point where I didn’t even feel like getting out of bed to go eat or shower. I’m just now getting off my menstrual cycle, which has been another issue I’ve had to deal with since my cramps lasted longer for this one and the flow was heavier than usual. Plus the stress I’m getting from my package and figuring out more things about my childhood most likely caused my anxiety to heighten up.

I need to talk to my therapist. But I don’t want to. I honestly want a new one, but I’m afraid of how my mom will react. I want to keep trying with this one, because she’s done so much for me. I feel like I’ve made a genuine connection with her, even if she’s just a therapist, and I don’t wan to just quit on her and start all over again with a new one.

I’ll see, I guess.

[megan-loves-surveys]

Gimme more.

Where were your parents born? My Mum was born in Scotland and my Dad in NZ.

Have you ever used public transportation to get to work? Yep, most of the time. The only I don't is the rare time my boyfriend drops me off.

Who in your family has the coolest job? Not sure tbh.

Have you found your first gray hairs yet? No.

What is your favorite food to put gravy on? Potatoes xD

Do you know anyone from Canada? I know a few people online from there.

What’s your opinion on astrology? It's fun, but I don't take it that seriously.

Do you use TikTok? No.

Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? Good lord no.

Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? I have equal amounts of both as friends.

Are you good at hiding your feelings? Depends.

Can you drive a stick shift? No.

Do you care if people talk badly about you? Not really, but I guess it depends on who it is.

Are you going out of town soon? I wish.

Does anyone hate you? I hope not, but who knows.

Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? No, unless my boyfriend changes his mind and proposes LOL.

Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? Yep.

What’s the best part about school? -

Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? Thousands lol.

Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? I did all the time in intermediate school, by the end of one year I had an entire bag full of them lol.

Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? Yep, he is. It's my boyfriend hehe xD

Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Definitely, I'm close to both of them.

How do you want to die? Old age.

When was your last physical fight? The closest I've been to a fight is slapping some dude at a club who wouldn't stop harassing me once lol.

Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? Yep.

Ever made out in the bathroom? Probably.

Are you scared of spiders? YES.

What is/are/were your best subject(s)? Computers/IT, Legal Studies and English.

Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Probably.

Do you have trust issues? It depends.

Favourite food? Mac & cheese.

Do you believe everything happens for a reason? I hope not, cos then why did I get hit by a car and break my shoulder?

Is cheating ever okay? I cheat on video games, but that's it LOL.

What makes you happy? Lots of stuff.

Is there anyone you would die for? Hmm...

What’s the best news you’ve gotten lately? Not sure, but it's not like things have been going wrong lol.

^And, the worst? Hmm.

Do you like getting dressed up? Sure.

Would you be embarrassed to find out you snored loudly in public? Probably, but I know I don't snore, cos my boyfriend has never said that I do lol.

Are you reading any books at the moment? Yep - Reach For The Stars, it's about British pop groups of the 90s and 00s. It's so good.

When was the last time you had a tick on you? Never?

Have you been to the Grand Canyon? I have! It's breathtaking and totally worth the trip. We went on a tour thing and they included lunch cooked by the Native Americans who reside there, it was so cool. It's a super long drive from Las Vegas (where we were staying) though, we had to get up at 4am lol.

Do you like grapes or raisins better? I love them both!

What is the picture on the desktop on the computer you’re using? It's a photo of The Shield from Super Showdown in 2018 where they're in masks. It's been my desktop pic since then, I haven't changed it in over 5 years, it even followed me between laptops, I got a new one and immediately put it as the pic xD I can't change it at this point, it would be too weird.

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No.

Do you believe in ghosts? Maybe? I need proof.

Would you ever stay overnight in a haunted house? Oh yeah probably.

When was the last time you had an injection? What for? Covid vaccine booster.

Is there anything you cannot wait to be over? Dunno.

What was the last thing you had done at the dentist? Cleaning.

Does your best girlfriend have any talents that you don’t? She can drive, I can't lol.

What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? Blue.

Did your parents ever read stories to you before bed? Yep.

What are you listening to? Scribe - Stand Up (a NZ hip hop artist, this song has the best instrumental)

Do you like hickeys? Haha not really.

Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? No, I'm still in love with him lol.

Do you have any summer plans yet? Our summer just ended.

Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? Oh yep.

Are most of your friends guys or girls? Both about equal cos I have loads of wrestling friends who are mostly male, but I also have lots of female friends from school and that.

Who do you text the most? My boyfriend.

Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? My boyfriend has two grown up sons haha, so I have to say yes. One of them is only 5 years younger than I am! LOL.

Do you miss your last sweetie? Not at all.

Would you rather be anorexic or obese? Neither, thanks.

Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now? No.

What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage? Jim Beam, Malibu or Long Island iced tea.

Do you play any games on your phone? Pokemon Sleep, Pokemon Go and BitLife. I've played both Go and Sleep since day 1.

Have you ever shaved your face? I use tweezers to get any stray hairs lol.

What was the last vaccination you got? Covid.

Do you have a brother? No.

Would you ever have a bird as a pet? No.

Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No.

When was the last time you saw your father? Last night, he picked me up from the Five concert. Usually I'd ask my boyfriend to do it but he was hanging out with his son, so my Dad did it instead.

Any time when you need to search something on the Internet, which search engine do you use? Google.

Do you believe in saving your virginity for marriage or no? LOL, I don't want to get married, so obviously not.

When you open your web browser, what is your home page set to? Why did you select this? I have it set to reopen my tabs from last time.

Have you ever accidentally sent the wrong smiley? Definitely.

Are you more likely to go drive-thru or actually walk in to get fast food? Walk in, cos I don't have a car. Even when I'm with people in a car, we still go in.

How many times have you had a nosebleed? I have no idea.

If you were to make a lot of noise right now, would you wake anyone up? No, it's 9pm lol.

Do you need to have a shower right now? No, I showered this morning.

How many vowels are in your middle name? Two A's.

Do you have all of the vowels in your full name? No, I'm mising U cos I have A, E, I and O.

Are you currently crushing on anyone? Yep.

How do you feel right now? I'm pretty good, cos the headache I had earlier today is mostly gone now.

Do you talk in your sleep that you know of? No.

Have you ever been on a road trip of more than 10 hours? No.

Are you waiting for anything right now? A few things.

How far away is the nearest KFC? About 10 min drive, it's up by the train station.

Do you use reusable bags when you go grocery shopping? Yep.

Have you ever met someone online and then met them in person? Oh yeah, quite a few people.

Do you tend to wake up in a different position you fell asleep in? Yep.

What does your perfume or cologne smell like? I don't wear it.

Is there a bookshelf in your bedroom? I have a bookcase.

Have you ever seen Flight of the Conchords? No, which is funny cos they're Kiwis xD

How many hours away is the next sunset? The sun only set about an hour ago, so about... 23 hours? LOL.

What was the last flavour of ice cream you ate? Chocolate.

Do you want to move out of your current house any time soon? Why or why not? No, I like my house!

Are there a lot of noisy birds around your house? Sometimes haha, cos there's loads of trees.

Have you been to a fancy restaurant in the past year? I'd say Porterhouse Grill is fancy cos it's expensive haha, I was there in January.

How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? I never learnt.

Do you follow recipes carefully or just skim over quickly? I don't cook.

What colour are your favourite cousin’s eyes? Dunno.

Have you ever nearly fallen asleep behind the wheel of a car? I don't drive.

Are you hungry right now? Yes.

Do bugs bother you or not? They definitely bother me.

When was the last time you played a board game? Who did you play with? I go to a games night every 2 weeks with my friend David, a whole bunch of us play board games. So 2 weeks ago cos the next games night is tomorrow xD

Don’t you hate having to call banks and insurance companies? Most of my banking stuff is done online now.

Do you know anyone named Harley? No.

Are there any dints or scratches on your car? -

What’s your favourite place to shop for bras and underwear? Kmart, Warehouse, Bendon etc.

Have you ever thrown someone’s stuff away on purpose? No.

Do you have any cool or cute keychains? I have two on my bag - a Seth Rollins logo one and a little Converse sneaker haha. On my keyring I have a NYC one and one from the Grand Canyon with my name on it.

Is your mailing address different than your residential address? No.

Are there any farms near your house? What animals do they have? I live in the suburbs, so no, no farms.

Do you ever write in cursive? I don't even know how to.

Have you ever had a computer virus before? Most likely. I used to download loads of random shit from Limewire and Kazaa, it could get dodgy.

Are you dependent upon anyone? I try not to be.

Are there any book characters you’d like to portray? Dunno.

Who did you last text? David, we were confirming games night tomorrow.

Is there anything on your bed right now? All my plushies, my handbag (which I meant to put on the floor, I'll do it when I next get up), a book, a magazine and my hairbrush.

When was the last time you went to the grocery store? Saturday.

What way would you like to die when it’s your time? Old age.

What are you most afraid of in the world? Spiders.

Have you ever been caving? No.

Do you do well in math related things? I have that dyscalculia thing, I'm pretty sure. My Maths skills are absolutely horrendous.

What is your favorite fruit? Banana or apple.

If you had to choose, which sibling would you live with? I'm an only child.

Do you have any tattoos? No.

Are you planning on getting any in the near future? Probably not.

When was your last date? A few weeks back.

When did you get Facebook? 2010, I think?

Are any of your family members in jail? No.

What was your first pet’s name? Piglet.

Are there any people at your job who absolutely hates you? I don't think so, our team is small and everyone is chill with each other.

What was the last book you read? Reach For The Stars.

Have you ever read any books in one day? Yes. Used to do that all the time as a kid.

What was the last thing you bought? Some fries from Burger King, lol. Before that, it was a flag banner thing at the Five concert.

What are your plans for tomorrow? My Mum and I are going to Botany to shop and have lunch, then later on I'm going with David to games night. Damn, just realised I won't have time to see my boyfriend tomorrow :/

Is there any jewelry you wear constantly? Yes - my Pandora charm bracelet and my rings.

Are your fingernails painted at the moment? No.

Do you prefer cool, warm or neutral colors? All of them.

Have you ever taken art classes? Only when I was forced to at school.

What’s the most boring movie you’ve ever seen? Dunno.

Do you know how to work a cash register? Not really.

Fact or fiction novels? Fiction.

Have you ever suffered from depression? I don't think so. I've been sad, but not depressed.

Do you think you’re a clingy person? I can be, my boyfriend jokes that I am but I'm really not xD

Have you ever been in a physical fight before? Kinda, I've slapped a few people. One of them was another girl and she slapped me back LOL.

How often would you say you disagree with your parents? We disagree on occasion.

What color shirt did you wear yesterday? I wore a playsuit lol. But today I'm wearing a black Mox shirt.

Do you have a job? Yes.

If so, do you like it? Yes.

Have you ever been called a slut before? Yes lol, both welcomed and unwelcomed.

What’s something you’ve been craving? KFC lol, even though I had it last week.

Have you ever slept with your window open? Used to all the time in the last house I lived in, but I can't do it here cos my room faces the main highway so it's way too noisy.

Can you play violin? No.

What was the last desert you had? A chocolate ice block thing.

Have you ever had a wild animal as a pet? No.

Do you know anyone you talk to on Facebook but won’t talk to in person? Well yes, cos we've never met lol.

What color are your mother’s eyes? Brown.

Do you have a best friend? Yes.

If so, how long have you been best friends? Since 2002, so almost 22 years now.

Do you cry easily? Depends.

Have you ever been into a court room? Yes, I've served on juries 3 times.

How many necklaces would you say you own? None.

Do you plan on being strict towards your children? I don't want kids.

Do you own any tie-dye shirts? No.

What would you say is your favorite day of the week? Probably Saturday, but Friday is good too.

Do you ever wear lipstick? No.

Do you own a pool? Haha no.

Do you have a Tumblr account? Yes lol, I'm using it right now :P

Would you say you’re overweight? No, but I do need to lose a bit of stomach fat.

How many colors are in your hair? Three technically - blue, purple and my regrowth which is dark haha.

Do you flirt with a lot of people? No, only my boyfriend xD

Have you ever been falsely accused of starting drama? Yes.

How old are you? 36.

Do you attend church regularly? No.

Have you ever found a song that describes your whole life? Dunno.

What time did you wake up this morning? I got up at 7am, but I'd been awake since about 5:30 cos I wasn't feeling well.

What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow morning? 8:30 or so.

What kind of car do you drive? No car.

What kind of car would you like to have? Dunno.

Have you ever been to Dairy Queen? No.

If so, what’s your favorite thing to eat from there? -

How old did you turn on your last birthday? 36.

Ever felt like falling apart? No.

Have you ever been in an ambulance? Yes.

Do you tend to worry a lot? Not a lot, but some.

How old were you when you lost your first tooth? Pffft, not sure.

Do you remember your first time on the internet? Not really haha, I have no clue what sites I even went to.

Which website do you email from? Hotmail/Outlook. It's technically Outlook but I have a grandfathered in Hotmail address cos my email was registered in 2001, I got to keep it. I also have a Gmail I use for 'professional' work stuff lol.