#(because why would you target cis white women? let’s go after the trans guy! you just think im an easier target for ur virtue signaling bs

[ballsbalb]

this blog/community is like. literally my only escape from reality. so i’d prefer to keep it that way, because if i post all my political opinions, this shit will be karl marx’s manifesto by march//

The privilege is astounding…

ah yes, privilege is when tumblr blog

let’s be real, the actual privilege here is you being able to spam me with the most utterly ignorant asks, hide behind anonymity, and ignore people doing actual, real work. i go to protests and marches and sit-ins and meetings, and you sit in your ass whinging on tumblr. we are not the same

my entire existence is, constantly and eternally, political. my entire life, who i am, who i love, is all inherently political in our modern political system. so don’t fucking tell me that me being allowed one space where i can just talk about footy with my friends is somehow an indicator of privilege— yes, i absolutely have privilege as a white guy, but it really ends there for me.

but, sure. go around spouting nonsense you know nothing about on the internet to make your virtue signaling, posturing ass feel better.

get a fucking job bro

[buddiebeginz]

So there’s this article that’s going around bashing the Reylo fandom as a response to Katie McCort’s article on ‘Systemic Hatred of Women’. Normally I would link back to whatever it is I’m referencing so people can draw their own conclusions but I refuse to post the link to the first article mostly because it’s just a nicely worded hate piece against Reylo and our fandom and it doesn’t need more attention from me. I’m sure you can find it if you look around the antis are sharing it. I’m still going to respond to some of it though because it’s a lot of the same things I see going around about our fandom and I want to address some of them.

There is this misconception that the Reylo fandom is almost exclusively made up of cis gendered, straight, white women and that’s just not true. We’re an incredibly diverse community made of various races, sexualities, genders, ages, etc. It’s clear that it’s easier for people who dislike us and the ship to dismiss us by saying well they’re all just a bunch of white women who want to ship the two main white presenting characters. They also mostly assume we’re teenagers so that’s another way they get to patronize us by acting like we’re simply a bunch of children who can’t make good choices even when it comes to which fictional characters to ship.

To that effect I think because many dismiss us all as a small (but loud) fraction of white women in the SW fandom it makes it easier to say we’re all racist. We as a fandom need to stop allowing this. This idea that our fandom as a whole is racist is false and in many cases is being used mainly as a weapon against us not to call out real instances of racism. People who don’t like us and our ship have just decided it’s okay to blanket our whole fandom as toxic and racist without real proof to back it up. Even those times when there have been people claiming to ship Reylo sending harassment and being racist they don’t represent our fandom. There’s a different between the actions of single individuals and an entire fandom using their collective power to hurt people and the Reylo fandom has never done that.

I also resent the idea that it’s our responsibility to find these people and deal with them. Is it important to call out problematic behavior when you see it? Of course. But we are not responsible for babysitting every corner of the internet looking for someone who has a Reylo icon and possibility sent out a racial slur. I’m genuinely confused why this responsibility falls on the shoulders of Reylo shippers to police our entire fandom but not on the SW fandom as a whole to do something about the many many problematic people calling themselves SW fans and sending hate. I don’t see people calling all SW fans racist because some chased Kelly Marie Tran off social media. I don’t see people calling all SW fans misogynistic with the amount of disparaging things that’s been said about Rey as a character and with how many didn’t even want a female protagonist for the ST. Or how TLJ was one of the most criticized in large part because it was more inclusive to female fans.

No apparently those are just trolls who don’t represent real SW fans. So why then does that logic not apply to the Reylo fandom? Maybe perhaps because it’s easier to try and get rid of a ship that the general SW fandom hates and silence it’s fandom by claiming it’s one of the worst things a person can be. Who is really going to want to be associated  with a ship or fandom if they think it’s racist right? I’ve seen new SW fans coming on tumblr asking about Reylo and the antis are quick to jump to them and tell them how toxic and racist it is (not to mention they claim it glorifies abuse against women which 🤦) filling these people’s heads with lies. I don’t care what people think of me I’m used to shipping the ships that everyone hates but I do care that people lie about us and our ship and don’t even give people the chance to make up their own minds.

As for the situation with JB which was also included in the anti Reylo article it’s clear the person who wrote this has a huge bias. Anyone who cares how people are treated would look at that situation and recognize JB was out of line, his actions caused real world harm to people. NO ONE is saying JB hasn’t been the target of racism from SW fans but to put ALL of that on the Reylo fandom is not only messed up it’s simply factually wrong. There are people who would never ship Reylo and who never wanted a leading black character in SW who have sent JB hate. The Reylo fandom just continues to be the easy target.

There’s a part of the article that talks about how some of the people who ship Reylo do so as a way to work through trauma in a fantasy that’s not possible in reality. They also say that one of the reasons people ship Reylo is about kink and bsdm which maybe these things play a factor (for some) but it’s not necessarily the main one. In the first place yeah Reylo is a fantasy not possible in reality it’s a soap opera in space. I recognize there are things that happen within their relationship that wouldn’t happen in real relationships but there’s also a lot about their ship that’s very much grounded in reality, which is a significant part of the reason people are drawn to them.

I’ve been through trauma myself and media has definitely helped with healing but I don’t look at Reylo as some fictional manifestation of reclaiming power that was stolen from me. I don’t look at Ben as some de facto stand in for my abuser and Reylo as some fairytale version of how things should have been. I don’t see Rey as someone who managed to get her “abuser” to change and then they lived happily ever after. I see two messy people who helped each other grow and change throughout the course of three movies. If anything I think Reylo helps me because I relate a lot to Ben. He’s shown me that it is possible to break free from the darkness and as person who has struggled with mental health problems my whole life it’s an incredibly important message. Rey and Ben together showed me it is possible to find someone who can understand you no matter what you’ve been through and no matter how alone you feel.

As for incorporating kink into Reylo many of us definitely do enjoy the smuttier side of fandom but I know for me that wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t emotionally invested in the ship. I think some assume the main reason we ship Reylo is because Adam is hot or Rey and Ben together is hot and it’s all simplified to being about sex but for the majority of us the ship is about so much more than that. I’m drawn to Ben and Rey because of the complexities of their stories both together and individuality. There’s this idea now that liking a character who does anything with questionable morals means you’re a bad person but I personally have never been drawn to the innocent characters. Both Rey and Ben are more grey not fully good or evil and I love that about them. More importantly I’m drawn to how much it’s clear they love each. Even in TFA they understood each other in ways no one else could because of their bond.

I feel like in order to get Reylo and especially Ben as a character you have to be willing to think deeper about the media you consume and some people only want surface level SW. On the surface it’s just bad guy Kylo Ren vs Rey but there is so much more going on than that if you look. I think people forget that fictional media is open for interpretation. Scenes like where Ben tells Rey “you’re nothing, but not to me” is one people have twisted to mean something manipulative when I don’t see it that way at all. To me Ben was trying to tell her he sees her. He sees that she came from nothing that she has no one like him (because he’s felt so abandoned by his family for so long) but she’s not nothing, to him she’s everything you can tell in how he literally begs her to stay with him. This is isn’t some example of me deliberately twisting facts to suit my narrative of what I want the characters to be this is simply that I see the scene differently than some one else might. I don’t get what’s wrong with that?

I know this got long and kind of rambly I just needed to vent. I just wish the hate would stop. If you don’t like Reylo don’t ship it. Learn to live and let live. Nothing we are doing is hurting anyone. We are shipping two adult characters because we see something positive here. I don’t get how something that’s about love something that brought so many people together can inspire such hate in others.

[almond-assistant]

A very long rant and my opinions on neofeminism

Keep in mind that these are very opinionated, and I really don’t wanna fight with you. I’m only posting this so people know where I stand with this stuff, and so they know what kind of person I am.

Inequality: (the fake scenario here is metaphorical and also taken from a youtube video) Imagine there was a short person and a tall person, and there's a wall. In order to see over it, both people are given a stool of equal height to stand on. The tall person is still taller, and can see farther. Instead of giving the taller person a shorter stool, or a short person a taller stool, how about we give nobody a stool. Instead, give them equal materials to build their stool. Equal opportunity does not mean an equal outcome.

Wage Gap: That thing? It's non-existent; women are actually 'out-earning' men, according to literally every governmental source. And if the wage gap existed, it'd be illegal, considering women recieved equal rights in America in 1972.

Transphobia: Trans people are propped up and given all sorts of support in society! I remember at one point I considered myself transgender (I'm still queer-identifying fyi), and I was treated just as well, if not better, than most kids at my high school. And you know how you guys are so "supportive" of trans-men? Well, guess what. By not grouping him in with the cis men, you are therefore being transphobic by invalidating his identity, implying he is not like the cis man, as he would like to be seen as. Do you call a trans guy a rapist, like a cis man? No. Do you consider him sexist, like the cis man? Of course not! Even if he is, you wouldn't DARE accuse him of that! Right? Because he's an owo smol trans flower boy. By rubbing it in everybody's faces that you/someone you know is trans, you are therefore negating the fact that they'd like to be treated like a cisgendered person in the first place. Same goes for trans-women. FYI, I completely support real trans people!

Transtrenders: Super transphobic! If you want to be babied and called uwu smol then go join the adult baby community. You want to be queer? Just don't label yourself trans! Want attention? Go join a fucking talent show or something idk. Don't have dysphoria? What's the point in calling yourself the opposite gender? I don't get that. Wanna be a futa catgirl? I... I don't even know. Please stop that. Sexualizing trans/intersex people is transphobic. Trying to fit in? I get that. I did that. But please, please. don't rub it in everyone's faces. I actually DO have a bit of social dysphoria, but I used to make it a bigger deal than it should've been.

Patriarchy: I agree that patriarchy doesn't work. But, patriarchy is also basically gone, so I don't agree that it's this really big deal you guys make it out to be. On the other hand, matriarchy doesn't work well either. It takes both genders for lots of things to run smoothly. There are highly positioned women and men. That's what makes systems work, including reproduction and all that jazz. So basically, men are in fact needed. Stop treating them like shit. If you got rid of men, we'd go extinct. I know there's this thing with women's bone marrow or whatever, but that's not really relevant, and it isn't even guaranteed to work. By separating women from men, you are therefore being sexist, because equality doesn't have anything to do with gender. It's like if x=y, then y=x, y=y, and x=x. If x and y was female and male, or literally any gender, this would be the goal of feminism by definition. Without the belief that women are currently in a lesser position in society, neo-feminism falls flat. Speaking of which, you always focus on women, why aren't you including all of the other "genders"? Isn't that a bit sexist of you? Society is giving women everything they don't deserve. That's not equality. And yet you still think women are opressed.

Rape Culture: And before you rush to the comments with "You don't know what it's like to be sexually harassed!", I do, and that's why this topic ticks me off so much. Anyway, by labeling all men as rapists, you are therefore being sexist. And, even though you guys say men/boys can't be raped, they have been, and can be. Males are actually sexually exploited more than women. Furthermore, women can be rapists. Consent doesn't apply to just the woman. If a woman wants to have sex with a guy and he says no, yet she forces him to, it's still rape. Legal sexual interactions require both parties involved to give consent. I read a post on here that said something to the effect of, "If you don't have sex with a fat woman, you're raping her". That... boggles my mind.

Ableism: I have mental illnesses too, so this also pisses me off. I mean, I get that some people are wheelchair-bound or don't have the same mental abilities as a neurotypical person. I think it's great that we're helping to accomodate these people! But when you call everything that could even possibly leave out someone other than the neurotypicals ableist, it's frustrating. Literally anything could be ableist or classist. Eating pizza? No, this is ableist because some people have diabetes and can't eat certain things. Running gear? Ableist. Some people have to use wheelchairs, either because they were born paralyzed in the legs, or because they're too obese to move. Brain exercises? No, get that out of here. That's offensive to people with autism or the like, because their brains don't work like that, and it implies they're not good enough. therapy? Kill it with fire. You're saying we neurodivergents are not ok? It's like you don't care about people that want to get better. There's such thing as a target audience, so now let's see.. Pizza? Oh! That's for people who want a quick, cheap, and easy meal! Running gear? That's meant to interst people who enjoy being fit and maintaining their cardiovascular health. Wheelchair-bound folks have specialized exercises for keeping their muscles healthy. Running would not be as effective of a way for them to do that. Brain exercises? For people who want to keep their brain sharp and improve certain areas where they might have weaknesses. Again, people such as my brother (who has medium-high functioning autism) can have special exercises provided to them. But when companies manufacture products that leave out the neurotypical person, nobody thinks twice. So much for equality.

Fatphobia: I do agree that this one exists, although I've never experienced it myself, since I myself have problems gaining weight and keeping it on. I'm actually guilty of fatphobia, but hear me out. I don't mind if you're overweight, as long as others don't have to make special accomodations at no cost to the one being accomodated. If you're 500+ pounds and/or you need a wheelchair and two seats on a plane, I'm calling you out. There's no way you could be that fat without doing it to yourself or having a disability. I don't mind these things if you do have a disability, I understand you couldn't control it then. But if you're just sitting in your bed all day stuffing your face with cheese curls, you have no right to whine about fatphobia, as you could've easily prevented it. Mental disorders such as depression or anxiety that may lower your motivation so low that you don't care, I also get, since I've been in that situation plenty of times. Regardless though, I will not say you are beautiful. This is my personal opinion, and I know others may find obesity attractive, or even erotic (which is in itself fatphobic), but I do not. There are people who don't actually find it pretty, but still say it is. Please stop that. Speak your mind, yo. It's kinda sad that others shape your views, and if you don't agree entirely with the flock, you're not one of them, yknow? That's like... a cult or something.

Classism: I'm soft on this one, since I've been in and out of financial stability throughout my childhood and it sorta fucked me up. But again, calling everything classist is just not right. Songs about fancy cars and diamonds are praising the lush life, not making lower classes feel bad. If anything, those songs help them work harder to achieve their own dreams and have their own great life. But again, it's all about the target audience.

Racism: Racism was originally based off of fear and confusion. Other races had never seen a different skin color than their people's, and thought they were a different breed or species. The reason europeans and americans viewed africans as animals, is because they didn't know what else they could be. African society wasn't as developed, and the African people exhibited very primitive behaviors, as opposed to the educated caucasian. After a while, the african people taken to other lands as slaves, started to dislike that life and form their own opinions and values. The white people learned that the Africans were just humans of a different color, and eventually softened up a bit. But they couldn't abandon their ways of life, so the slaves slaved on, and the rich got richer. These values passed through generations, and eventually someone said, "Stop, these are people too, let's set em' free.". Though, yes, some families still teach their children to be racist, they don't imprison them anymore. Schools do a very good job of describing the treacheries of racism and slavery so it doesn't happen again. Most of my friends (and my boyfriend who I love so so much) are of color, in one way or another. Shit, I'm like, an eighth native american. I do consider myself white though, I'm Norwegian and Irish, for the most part. But I'll still honor my roots. Anyway, even modern racism is still based on fear. Islamophobia stems from terrorism, Black violence comes from stories of gangs and police shootings, and lots of other xenophobia stems from stereotypes. I'm completely against racism, trust me. But when you separate white from black and call white people scum, and call people of color 'strong, independent', and discard white people, it's kinda confusing. Racism applies to race, and caucasian is a race. Get it together.

Cisphobia: That exists. Cisgenderism/Heterosexuality are still identities, whether you want them to be or not.

Sexualities: Cool, You like people (Or you don't, if you're ace/aro). I know these sexualities were shunned before but most people are really accepting now! Just not the weird demonsexual things. Some people don't understand that too much. I sure don't.

Genders: Same as sexualities, don't get too crazy and people are cool w/ it.

Mogai and Neopronouns: Shit, get them out of here. You're making actual LGBT+ people look like a joke.

Anything I didn't mention that you'd like to hear my opinion on? Leave an ask! All interaction is welcome, though not all is wanted. Regardless, I'll try to be kind to you. I really have no reason to be rude to you if I don't know too much about you.

-Kevyn (almondassistant)