#(as well as the fact that said redemption will not be immediate let alone even guaranteed)

[eemoo1o-kuroo]

I feel like the biggest difference with Adam and fans of the show is that there’s the profans/apologists, so those that apologise for him by attempting to rationalise his behaviour, and then there’s the antis/analysts who want him as a character to apologise for what he’s done whilst acknowledging that all of his wrongdoings are, as the word implies, wrong.

[bellabrady]

Why many people dislike Tommy Kinard

Listen, I don't like to try and dictate what characters others can like. However, I do find it concerning how quick so many people are to forgive a bigot who didn't even get a proper redemption. So, especially for those who simply don't really remember Tommy, here's a quick recap of him:

Let's start with Chimney Begins. Tommy is one of the firefighters at the 118 when Chimney becomes part of the team. The first thing Tommy says when Chim arrives is 'Hey Eli, did you forget to tip the delivery guy?' On its own, this isn't really bad, because it could very much just be a harmless joke. But in combination with Tommy's behavior throughout the rest of the episode, one could argue the comment has racist undertones. But this one's up to interpretation so let's move on.

Although not explicitly stated, it's very obvious the 118 captain is racist which is reflected in the way he treats him: he only lets him do annoying chores, is a jerk towards him, actively isolates him, and so on.

The rest of the team, including Tommy, does nothing to try and change this. In fact, they actively take part in isolating him too, for example by letting him sit by himself at a tiny table instead of the group table while they eat. Even when Chimney attempts to talk to them, everyone but Eli (the paramedic who ends up training Chim) blatantly ignores him.

One time, Chim and Tommy are alone in the locker room and Chim says: "Hey man, let's build a bridge here." Tommy doesn't even react. Chim keeps making suggestions of things they could talk about, like movies or sports, to which Tommy still doesn't react except by rolling his eyes. Chim then asks: "You just really don't like me much, do you?" and Tommy responds: "If I thought about you at all, honestly, I probably wouldn't."

Mind you, he doesn't even know Chimney and yet he's pretty sure he wouldn't like him. What exactly is he basing that on? Race, perhaps? (Tommy is very close to some other guys on the team by the way.)

Eli tells Chim that the treatment isn't personal and that the reason everyone is so distant is because in this job, friends die and that the team isn't just gonna give Chim their friendship until they earn his respect. "You don't name a puppy until you know it's gonna pull through."

In my opinion this is absolute bullshit though. You cannot tell me every single probie at the 118 has been treated this way for weeks (maybe months? I don't remember exactly). Also, keeping someone at a distance doesn't mean you have to treat them like literal dirt. It's also worth mentioning that once the captain, Tommy and his best friend leave the 118, no probie seems to ever be treated this way again. So if it's about the nature of the job, why wasn't it like this for everyone? So, despite what Eli said, I think Chim's treatment was definitely caused by racism.

Eventually, Chimney is finally allowed out on calls and risks his life to save Tommy's, which basically makes Tommy go: "Oh hey! Maybe I could treat this guy like a human being?" He thanks him for saving his life and from this point on they're friends. I don't know about you guys, but personally I think someone who doesn't see it fit to treat you like a person until you save their life doesn't seem like a very great guy.

Let's move on to Hen Begins. The 118 is still under the same captain, who is also a misogynist. Unlike the racism, this isn't only implied but confirmed.

I've seen people argue that Tommy can't be blamed for not standing up to his captain because that's his boss. And yet, when the captain says "This is our new diversity hire" about Hen, Chimney says, "You know, Cap, there's another way to say that," which immediately proves that Tommy could stand up to him as well, and simply doesn't have the guts.

They treat Hen similarly to the way they treated Chim. Tommy, along with everyone else but Chim, for example throws some gear on the ground before Hen's feet so she takes care of it, not saying so much as a single word to her in the process.

Chim tries to make conversation with Hen and says "I would've bet money that you were from the east coast, you just kinda have that vibe." Hen laughs and says "Thank you for the compliment?" to which Tommy replies: "New York bitchiness is a compliment?"

He doesn't even know Hen and she's done nothing that could be seen as 'bitchy.' Just some good ol' fashioned misogyny. Chim also recognizes that comment for what it is immediately because he goes "woah, woah, nobody said anything like that, come on." Tommy only huffs in annoyance as a response.

The captain then goes on a rant about how training female firefighters is a waste of money and Chim once again stands up for Hen, unlike everybody else, including Tommy, who just lets the misogyny stand.

It isn't until Hen rescues someone on a call that Tommy and his friend admit they wouldn't have found in time, that they finally treat her like a person. You'd think they'd have learned from Chimney that maybe people shouldn't need to prove themselves to you in order for you to treat them like a human being, but apparently not.

Ultimately, the team submits complaints against the captain and supports Hen but if you ask me, this should've happened a lot sooner and not only after they deemed her worthy.

And that's pretty much all we see of Tommy, except for some short scenes in Bobby Begins Again in which he just interacts with his team until he leaves for a different station at the end of the episode. There's no redemption, no proper apology and, if you ask me, considering the fact that he treated Hen the same as Chim, there's also no development.

And yet there are people who will defend this man with their lives as if 90% of his screentime wasn't him being a bigot or at best a coward without the guts to stand up to his bigoted captain.

So yes, personally I think liking Tommy Kinard is weird.

[a-writing-otter]

WIP Wednesday from “The Redemption and Subsequent Death of Bill Cipher”

“I— I tripped,” Bill lies swallowing back the bile in his throat. Whether Stan believes him or not is another story. He squints at him and then at where Bill’s managed to knock over the fire poker stand in his fall. Bill swallows thickly, his pulse heavy in his throat

Hours pass in the time that they stand there before Stan shakes himself off, grunting.

“Barging around here in the middle of the night, you’ll wake everyone up.”

And to Bill’s surprise, Stan holds a hand out. Bill is still shaking as he takes it and stands, brushing himself off.

“Thanks,” he grits out, pointedly not looking at Stan. They hover there for a moment before there’s suddenly a hand on his shoulder.

“You usually sleep through the night. You, uh, have a, uh, bad dream?”

Bill can’t help the way he’s staring at Stan like he’s got three heads (that might even be normal than this given everything that Bill has seen in his time outside of this realm).

“What’s it to you?” Bill snaps only for Stan’s nose to wrinkle. “Why do you care?”

“I don’t,” Stan shakes off, letting go of Bill. “But if you’re gonna go running around here causing a ruckus and waking everyone up, then that’s a problem!”

“I wasn’t trying to do anything, I tripped!”

“Well, I—“ Stan cuts himself off, eyes closed and a vein throbbing in his forehead. He forces a breath out through his mouth and Bill feels like he’s standing on eggshells without trying to break them.

“Look,” Stan begins, more gathered. “I’m just trying to— We’re gonna have to be around each other for the summer, until this… this,” and he gestures to Bill, “gets figured out. I don’t know if you usually have nightmares in your normal dorito shaped version of you. They’re pretty normal for humans though.”

The fact that Stan, Stanley Pines, is being nice to him is enough to get Bill to shut up and keep from snapping at him that Bill knows what a nightmare is. Hells, what is happening?

“Just— If you had a nightmare, tea helps, you know?”

Bill realizes after a moment that he’s nodding, not sure what else to do.

“Do you—“ Stan looks like he’s bracing himself. “Do you want— tea?”

He winces and then Bill winces and then they are both pointedly looking away from each other.

“Tea. Tea would be nice,” Bill finally responds in spite of the nausea.

It’s how they end up in the kitchen, Bill sitting at the dining table and staring at said table like he’s trying to see through it. Stan is facing the stove, poking at the kettle and fussing with the knobs. Neither of them speak for the longest time and Bill’s almost convinced he’s going to get to get away with this silence as Stan sets down a steaming mug of tea in front of him.

“Look. This thing with my brother—“

“There’s nothing going on with—!” Bill immediately rushes to cut him off, something almost desperate in the words.

“Dear god, Bill, let me finish!” Stan winces at the way his voice carries, clears his throat, and then continues. “Whatever this thing you have going on with my brother, just… keep it away from the kids, alright?”

Bill blinks rather stupidly at Stan. On the short list of things he expects Stan to say to him, which isn’t a lot considering they decidedly do not talk to each other, giving some kind of permission for this thing that definitely doesn’t exist between him and Ford is not it.

“…you’re okay with it?”

Stan scoffs.

“Not even a little. If it were up to me, I’d keep you a billion miles away from my whole family. But,” and he sighs, “Ford’s a… stubborn asshole. And I’ve never seen him so much as look at another human being, let alone have whatever happened a few nights ago happen. And it’s a little less distressing that you’re not, you know.” He makes a face.

“A triangle?” Bill offers up.

“Yeah. That.” Stan mutters something about “damn nerd loving geometry” before continuing. “He’s never shown interest in people except for you. I’d tell him to get taste, but apparently he’s not interested in that and if I try and tell him off, he’s just going to double down.”

“First of all, I am an incredible catch and literally anyone would be lucky to be into me,” Bill defends without an ounce of irony. “So take that into consideration.”

When he looks up from the table, Stan is just staring at him.

“Yeah, uh, I’ve got nothing constructive to say there considering the fact that you tried to kill me, my family, and destroy the entire world.”

Bill can only kind of shrug in response, what can he honestly say to that?

“I guess you’re trying to make amends for that or something, right? Soos said something about a lizard—“

“Axolotl.”

“Yeah, that. And I guess you’re… cleaning the shack to do that?”

“Eh, close enough.” Bill honestly can’t say that he has a better answer than that. Something, something, learning human compassion, something, something community service.

“How’s that going?”

Bill taps his nails on the table and shrugs his shoulders after a second. Honestly, it’s not working, he tells himself. They’re all insufferable and he hates them all and he looks forward to when he’ll have them all under his subjugation. That’s the plan, after all.

“Fine enough. I guess,” he says instead. “I guess I’m cleaning my soul by wiping counters down.”

“Eh, maybe one day when you learn how to not miss spots, they’ll let you go home.”

Bill glares at Stan and Stan only laughs in response.

“The kids like you, which is weird after, well, you know.”

“Everything?”

Stan grimaces. “Yeah. Everything.”

They lapse into quiet again, Bill drinking his tea and Stan staring out the window at the darkened forest.

“It’s only because of them and Ford that I’m playing nice. After everything in the mindscape, I can’t say that I didn’t like the feeling of punching you in the face.”

Bill can’t help but rub at his face a little, mind flashing with the pain that’d come from the memory.

“We really thought you’d be gone after that. Gave a lot up to get rid of you.”

“For what it’s worth, so did I.”

When he’d called out to the Axolotl, he hadn’t expected an answer. To wake up in the void, in front of the great salamander of judgment had been… shocking. Relieving, but shocking.

“I’ll try not to be in your hair long.”

Stan makes a noncommittal noise.

“Stay for a bit. I guess if you’re bothering us, you’re not planning world domination.”

Bill tries to swallow past the bile that rises up in his throat again, not sure why that’s bothering him so.

“Besides, I ain’t seen Ford like this, again, ever. Maybe you’re good for him. Or maybe you’ll help it get out of his system.”

Bill snorts.

“Maybe don’t interrupt us next time.”

“Maybe don’t try to give my brother a handy in the bathroom everyone uses next time.”

And in spite of himself, Bill smiles, even laughs and he’s surprised when Stan laughs with him.

AN: If you liked that and you’re like “what’s going on? Why is Bill on the floor? What happened between him and Ford?” Well, do I have a treat for you! This is from my ongoing project, The Redemption and Subsequent Death of Bill Cipher! It’s a nice Billford fic taking place in the handyman au universe where Bill gets turned into a human and then figures out that humans have things called feelings and guilt. I’ve got one chapter posted, the second one is written and to be edited, and the third one is in progress! It’s my first undertaking of a multi-chapter fic since high school and so I’m very excited to share it.

If you’d like to check it out, link is below. I’ve also got fics for a bunch of different fandoms on there (including a one-shot smut fic including Bill and Ford ;)) from various different fandoms across the last several years. Please check me out! Otherwise, thanks for reading! <3

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

so among the million other things that was wrong with catra's redemption, i want to highlight the main thing that stuck out to me.

i don't know about y'all but i've had people "apologize" to me like this. saying sorry or admitting their mistakes and then immediately following it up with “i'm worthless” or “everyone hates me” or something in that vein. i get it, people are insecure and they have a lot of self-doubt. but when apologizing to someone about a serious mistake that you made, for hurting them or worse, you do not do this. it's guilt tripping.

apologies are difficult. even if you feel really guilty about what you did, it might be hard to face facts and admit that you did something terrible. even if you absolutely despise yourself, your ego can work up when it comes to apologizing.

catra does admit her faults in the first frame (albeit while still being very vague. “hurt people” is an understatement for everything that she did). but immediately following it up with “no one cares about me :((” just defeats the whole point. like yeah, i wonder why. it's probably not because she abused, verbally harassed and killed people, right?

it doesn't look like she's guilty of what she did, it comes off as her regretting it after she started to face the consequences. she's not upset because she hurt people, she's upset because they left her and now she's alone.

not to mention, this scene where she lashes out at adora for saving her life.

the way she says “you all hate me” just sounds accusatory. not only is she snapping at the person who saved her life and is willing to give her a second chance, but she's also getting angry at adora and the others for hating her. friendly reminder that catra was a war criminal who killed people, abused adora for years, caused the death of glimmer's mother and almost ended space and time out of spite. and here she is, acting as if she doesn't deserve to be hated for all this. (also, adora's response to this is absolute bullshit. “i never hated you” yes, you did. you almost killed catra with no hesitation in s4.)

let's not forget the iconic “i'm working on it” that everyone was swooning over. omg catra says she's working on her anger issues, we love character development! oop— but then she immediately shifts the blame to adora by saying that adora was the one giving her a hard time. mhm. like you didn't give adora a hard time her whole life, catra.

this is almost uncomfortably realistic when compared to real life abusers. if they ever do apologize, this is how they do it. they either make it all about themselves so that you feel guilty for “making them apologize” or they snidely shift the blame to you. if you get mad about it, they could simply say “i said i'm sorry, what more do you want from me?”

regular viewers may see this and think “well, she apologized. that's a good thing”. but if you've ever been acquainted with a person like catra irl, you know that this apology is not sincere. it's just a way to shut their victims up and indirectly manipulate them. you think they're being genuine but you also feel like it's your fault partially, because of how they shift the blame to you or pity themselves until you feel bad for them.

[gegengestalt]

Grushenka...

The fact that Grushenka as a character is often put into the femme fatale box (as if it wasn't a character archetype that is completely out of place in the context of the novel) by careless commentators and the statement that she was meant to be a "beautiful sinner" (very unserious wording) in the sequel irk me, because I believe she's meant to be a positive character and have reasons to think so.

It's understandable to think of her that way in the beginning of the novel through the descriptions of her alone. She seems like an enchantress, an otherworldly beauty, a harlot even. The first time she makes an appearance denies some rumours and confirms others. Simply put, she's quite a regular woman, but a charismatic and daring one as well.

I won't try to argue that her jab at Katerina Ivanovna wasn't narrated with any other purpose than to portray her as being a little cruel. It's true that she took pleasure in Katerina's shame and anger. However, Katerina was not exactly the noblehearted and reasonable one in that situation. She tried to control Grushenka from the beginning, acted condescendingly sweet towards her while being insincere and immediately started insulting her as soon as Grushenka made it clear that she wasn't going to do as Katerina wished. And she did it out of pride. Grushenka is an unmarried young woman without parents in 19th century Russia, a businesswoman at the age of 22 at a time when women doing such work was a rare sight. She knows how to make the most of the little power she has in society and tries to have fun while she's at it. It might seem like she's cruel for no reason during that scene, but I believe that no sad background story is needed to recognize it as the statement that it is.

Beneath the cattiness and mischief, Grushenka is kind- hearted and generous. She keeps accepting Rakitin into her home and giving him money despite the fact that he's ashamed of her and he slanders her, she's grateful to Samsonov for rescuing her from poverty, hunger and suicide, even when he sexually exploited her when she was young (something that ruined her reputation permanently*). She let old Maximov stay at her house and took care of him, and showed kindness and generosity to pan Mussyalovich, another man who deeply hurt her, in Book XI. She tried to do something for Mitya, even going out of her way to talk to Grigory. And most of all, she was the one who truly transformed Alyosha, not the other way around. She showed her true heart and in return received the onion, the chance of redemption.

(*Let us remember how her status as a fallen woman has affected her. Despite this, I don't think she has resigned herself to that fate. I do not believe she sees herself as truly ruined even if she calls herself wicked. She's one to bite back, not to victimize herself, and she has proved that she's capable of moving forward.)

Grushenka's quick to act out of spite, though she's not completely ruthless. She is one with noble impulses too. Fyodor Pavlovich is not the most reliable, but even he remarks how quickly she runs to the side of the fallen man, though he attributes it to mere rebelliousness. Grushenka has a very strong guilty conscience, declaring herself responsible for the murder. While she added some fuel to the fire with her feigned indecision, Dmitri and Fyodor are grown men who can make decisions themselves and she was not forcing them to collide. On the contrary, they are the ones who pulled her in their feud first. The fact that she got defensive and said that Dmitri blamed her for what happened (Book XI) when he said nothing of the sort only shows how guilty she truly feels, as well as the self- consciousness she hides to protect herself. By the end, she has the potential to turn her insecurity and jealousy into responsibility and compassion.

Much like Dmitri, Grushenka is considered sinful, yet she doesn't stray away from God and respects what is sacred. She's honest about her own feelings no matter what other people say, and this makes her a little capricious, but also gives her certain integrity. The themes of childlikeness, joy and laughter in her character are remarked by the narrator and some characters. These are all positive traits in the symbolic world of the Dostoyevskyan novel. She's capable of both spontaneous malice and spontaneous good. Chapter 3 of Book VII, which presents a situation with a certain resemblance to the story of Katerina and Dmitri, portrays a triumph of this spontaneous good. If Dmitri can have a wide heart, why can't she?

As a female character, Grushenka is in an interesting position. At the time the novel was written, female characters were still tied to the development and stories of male characters; however, fleshed out female characters with agency were starting to become more common as well. What then happens is that, while these types of female characters still depend on the personal journeys of the men in the story, the men's fate and trajectory end up being influenced by the actions and decisions of the female characters immensely. Grushenka is not the protagonist of the story and her psyche isn't given as much attention, but in the way she's fragmented between the arcs of other characters and their journeys while retaining individual characteristics, she becomes a central piece of the story, and even becomes a narrator the fable that expresses one of the most important statements of the story: that salvation doesn't come at the expense of others.

[ark-barkness]

⚠️ THIS POST HAS HUGE SPOILERS FOR PASSWORD VN, READ WITH CAUTION ⚠️

Ok so let's talk about Password's ending and why I didn't liked it. But before that I want to clarify

I enjoyed the VN for the most part and my issue is with the true ending, the rest are ok.

I have nothing against Grizz and I think he did an amazing job.

This is my opinion, you can like the ending, you can love the ending, you can think the ending is better than any other VN out there.

I'm playing Syndicate when it's released and I'll continue to support Grizz during the development.

Roswell is a bitch

With that covered let's talk about my main issue with the true ending

Endings that go back to the beginning and basically nullify everything that happened

I always said that an ending that goes back to the beginning of the story is lazy, is basically a "everything was a dream" ending, even tho Dave retained his memories all the character development the rest of the crew went through is thrown into the garbage, and you'll never be able to convince me that at least one character though that Dave lost his shit, the way everyone goes along with "yeah so this happened, well it never happened but basically that's what would've happened" makes me question the intelligence of the group.

If you played Tyson's route, congratulations. If you played any of the other, though luck, Tyson is canonically Dave's boyfriend.

During my playthrough I played specifically 3 routes, Tyson, Dean and Sal, my favorite of course being Sal's route. So now imagine getting a bittersweet ending for the route you played, then you start playing the true ending and Dave goes like, huh I guess I want to fuck Tyson now. Remember, he retained his memories, so if he was dating Dean the suddenly change of heart to Tyson feels weird and forced.

Characters acting out of character

This is something that bugged me off even in the other endings. After Benson dies in any other route shortly after Oswin takes his own life, not being able to live without Benson, even tho killing himself would make the survival of the group less likely, in the ending he uh is sad I guess? But he rather accepts the fact that he died protecting the group and he's ok with that. And Tyson in the canon ending immediately confess his feelings to Dave when confronted, no need of 20+ days of character growth?

Roswell is a huge asshole and he doesn't deserves a redemption arc

Roswell joined the club of vn characters I can't stand and within reason, his plan although much more complex is basically this.

"Dave you have to survive or everyone else will die, and I'll make sure you live even if I have to kill everyone"

Nope, sorry, he was dying? Yeah don't care. He did it because he loves Dave? Yeah that's even more fucked up. He was alone all his life? Cry me a river. His plan is fucked up and he inflicted an eternity of trauma on Dave while betraying all of his friends in the process.

There we have it, I did not liked Password's ending, thank you for coming to my ted talk, next month I'll talk about why bad endings are important. Smash the like button, subscribe to my only fans, and I'll see you soon (probably not) ❤️

[zhouxiangs]

(1/2 - sorry!)

Argh, just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in (with more Way slander)! Buckle up - this one's bitchy! The more out of step I feel with the rest of the PB audience, the more I double triple quadruple down on the Way defence until I find myself becoming increasingly mean and unhinged! Every time I see a post wishing for Kenta's rescue/release/redemption, framing him (accurately) as trapped and abused, by no means blameless but also not entirely to blame, I think to myself 'where's that same energy for Way??' Fully ready to keep digging my own grave now: I came across a 'consequences of my own actions' post featuring Babe laying into Way, and the petty part of my brain immediately started cackling as it visualised a parallel gifset for the Dean/Babe betrayal – consequences of your own actions indeed! (And, while I’m out here burning bridges, you know what? I’d include Alan in that too! All very well crying found family, but when you let your top racer dictate the rules based on which direction his dick is twitching...just saying!!! Also – and I blame the writers for this rather than the characters – for someone who cares so much about said found family, you’d have thought we could spare a second for Alan’s reaction to learning the truth about Way, or even heaven forbid a scene of him needing his own confrontation with him, considering they’ve known each other as long as they have Babe, right?)

And here's where I come clean and admit that I fully guffawed when Dean was so dismissive about mourning Charlie cos tbh I feel the same way! (Not to mention, why should Dean care about this person?? From his POV, this guy came out of nowhere, shagged his way into the team, undermined all Dean's years of hard work, and just like that was suddenly considered an integral part of the family, a family Dean now felt rejected and dismissed by - you be as bitter as you like, you angry little boy!)

I think for me it's a perfect storm combo of styling/acting/writing (or rather telling not showing), because, no matter how well Pavel sells Babe's grief, I can't stand Charlie, and am actively rooting against their relationship (and was doing so even before my love for Way emerged). One of my very least favourite tropes of anything ever is when you establish two characters as having a long and incredibly close history together, basically being each other's go-to person, whether that be as siblings or bffs (with or without a one-sided love thrown into the mix), only to bring onto the scene a third character who we're more often than not TOLD (and not shown) is just so amazing and special and beautiful that one of our original characters can't help but fall madly in love with them, usually to the absolute detriment of their relationship with the other original character (even worse when it's made into a love triangle, bluergh!), as if there's something just so irresistible about this newbie that the Babe in this scenario can't possibly have known love or desire until this point, and all that long and intimate history with their friend/sibling/whatever suddenly doesn't seem that meaningful after all, especially since in these sorts of stories it's usually a very rapid progression from mild interest to OH MY GOD I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THIS PERSON THEY ARE MY EVERYTHING LIFE MEANT NOTHING BEFORE THEM! Which is only ever so slightly insulting to everyone else in their friendship group, let alone their discarded go-to person! (In fact, I wish more stories explored this, the complicated (and yes, sometimes grievous) effect a new romantic relationship can have on a pre-existing friendship, without going the cliched route of turning the one left behind into a villain or making it a love triangle. Platonic friendships can be just as - if not more so - complex and important as romantic relationships, but this is something the media seems very reluctant to acknowledge.)

full disclosure, this ask is from before ep 11 was out; i was debating answering as i try not to put any negativity out there but after thinking about it for a while there are some things i'd like to answer to, also i think it's more interesting having different perspectives and opinions and talk about it

oh waynnie (way nonnie) do i get you. i've been a bit emotional about this topic for the last couple days or so and i really don't get people lol i can honestly say i love all the pit babe characters (not tony) and my top blorbos are way and kenta, so maybe that's why? but it's so frustrating to me and i simply. don't understand!!! the double standard in judging two characters that are in such similar circumstances so differently. i just can't wrap my head around it. also i feel like we're very much ignoring kenta's active involvement in the whole human trafficking situation, which again, circumstances, but also: literal human trafficking?

you know what i kinda defended babe last time about the whole dean thing but i've been rewatching his parts for reasons and science and. i think i have to backtrack, actually. sorry babe you're alone on this; it was always weird, and what dean did is inexcusable and i'm not going to say you made him do it, but what a way to shatter his dreams and hopes right as he was about to make it to the track. also sorry about me, but what hurts me more is still the fact that dean betrayed the x-hunter family and not that he tried to kill charlie and then babe. i do have my priorities ig lol

yeah see i would have loved to see more on that, because again, family feelings. i'm not saying make alan suffer bc i know he already does and if i have to justify the lack of scenes i'd blame the script, but also (and this might be me just excusing them trying to read more into it than there is) i have spent hours goofing off with the same friend after at least four different funerals because we both deal with loss and grief in similar ways, and while we may seem flippant to others it really helps to have that distraction. this is also applies to jeff and how calm he looks after charlie's "death" btw.

sorry but i am a charlie shooter lmao i wouldn't really call myself that now bc i have been proven right about him, but after the first ep aired it was me against the mdl comments. and i won. unfortunately i can over-explain and gaslight myself into making sense of/seeing more depth to almost every situation which maybe isn't very helpful lol but in this case i think it was as simple as the right person at the right time- as far as we know way wasn't actively manipulating babe before, and babe himself said he was satisfied with his life and wasn't looking for or even wanted love before charlie showed up, so. i have kinda moved on from charlie (ok no that sounds bad. i'm just juggling other, more important blorbos atm) but i adore him still; he's the bravest and most selfless naive puppy full of love and affection and everything good that babe thought he didn't need or want in his life, and i need for him and babe to reunite and be happy again.

agree with the rest though! tbh i never really saw them as a proper triangle but since way and babe were best friends they (maybe accidentally) gave me everything i wanted in that regard, which is: not downplaying the importance of friendship, or ignoring how it hurts when someone you used to be with all the time suddenly isn't there. in a way it doesn't really matter that way was, up to that point, still as important as he had always been for babe because he still felt abandoned, and feelings aren't something you can control. his actions and disdain/straight hate for charlie are because he loves babe and he's jealous and hurt bc his feelings weren't reciprocated, but i kinda… choose to ignore that and focus on the friendship aspect. i don't hope to get that back, or for them to have any kind of relationship or even contact later, but that doesn't erase their past.

[jiminrings]

can we get a fratboy Jimin and good girl oc with pinning from both sides 👀 ahhhh thank u in advance love ur writing!!

cherry king

drabble week: day four

drabble week masterlist

pairing: fratboy!jimin x goody two-shoes!reader

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: "y-you uhm, you-? y'know, you like... doing that? is that why it's your nickname?"

feedback + support mean the world to me!!

“next!”

great!! the line’s moving :D

that’s only like the 87th time jimin has heard the word next and it makes him wonder how much more would it take him to bring him to the front

(it’s actually only been 14 times and jimin might just be a self-admitted impatient bitch!!!)

he understands that yes, it’s ten in the evening!!! and reasonably-large stores/pharmacies like these can have less staff at the time compared to ten in the morning

sure, checkout machines and cashier lanes could be broken down!! or they could just not be open at all

jimin gets that alright, maybe the self-checkout machines are close at this time of the night because it is ten in the evening

what’s not clicking in his mind, however is that at the exact time that he comes here

as in the EXACT time that he’s here (!!!) — there happens to be dozens of people in a store at ten in the evening, and there happens to be a grand total of one (1) cashier lane

atleast random store music would be entertaining :((( all he hears are the beeps of a scanner and the chatter of groups of people who came here

jimin was eavesdropping on some guys in front of him and he wAS invested but lmao turns they were just discussing the plot of die hard or any testosterone-jacked movie like it

he’s also tried looking at the smaller middle-aged woman’s phone in front of him who’s scrolling through her facebook feed, but quickly decides against continuing it

because what if u could see his face and when she turns it off, she’d see a college guy deeply-invested in the baloney article she was reading about how subway sandwiches are the work of the devil

so uh yeah he’s just looking everywhere besides the front, back, and the sides of him and in all angles basically

he’s,,,,, aimlessly scrolling through his instagram feed he’s already scrolled through tHREE times and his explore’s page a little too dry

it’s a good thing that jimin’s entirely sure he’s the nosiest person out of this line and no one else is trying to figure him out

might be wrong though

“cherry king?”

hold the fuck on

jimin’s eyes widen, head snapping up and clueless to the fact that he doesn’t look discreet at all, and his head-cocking’s the most movement he’s done the whole time in this store

WHO’S SAYING HIS NICKNAME?????

it can’t be a coincidence either because as far as he’s concerned, there isn’t anything named cherry king that’s being sold here

there is literally NO other plausible scenario happening here besides the fact that someone who knows him is in the store!!!!

his gaze falls to the person behind him, brows knitted in confusion until it clicks

oh

that was you?

“jimin? huh, it really is you. i thought i was losing my mind for a second.”

“y/n?”

okay maybe hE’S the one who’s losing his mind here

he knows you!! you’re the smart girl in his year who’s known for being pristine and stuff!! you’re like the good-est girl he’s ever known and heard of

.... quick question lads is that weird to know someone by

“you could’ve just called me by my name, y’know,” jimin chuckles heartily, still a little dumbfounded to see you here but he’s grateful for the interaction nonetheless

you look casual today?? like you still look like yourself but everyone else would think it’s an out-of-body experience to see you out of your pretty dresses and monochromatic get-ups

it’s you..,.. in a hoodie three sizes larger than your size with your pristine shoes traded in for socked-feet wearing slides

jimin thinks that you look like grace under pressure

“i wasn’t sure,” you smile right back and it’s the first time he realizes that there’s glasses atop your nosebridge, softening your image more from the usual composed look you carried

“how were you sure enough to say my nickname out-loud though?”

jimin questions you, bringing light to how he’s wearing a plain white shirt and is looking as relaxed as ever with how he’s dressed — his hair long enough to be put into a messy sprout of a bun

you clear your throat, the amusement bubbling in your scratchy throat

“you have yourself as your lockscreen, jimin.”

oh my gOD

he winces when you say it, eyes screwing shut in embarrassment that he whines in pain with how direct you put it

“n-no way — fuck you respectfully, y/n. i-i’m not- i’m changing it right now!!”

does he look the vainest person alive rn

the way he has a mini freakout entertains you to your core, giggles unable to be suppressed as he finds the latest-taken picture he has of dogs that he comes across with

that’s 10/10 an experience he doesn’t want to repeat again

“it’s okay. i won’t tell anyone.”

he hears you reassure and he believes you, a flustered blush on his cheek still as he coughs to make up for a diversion topic he couldn’t think of

frankly, you’re getting bored too and jimin’s the only form of entertainment you have because using your phone atm would be too disorienting

“what are you doing here, by the way?”

your head tilts in query and he’s relieved that you address something else, not being relieved seconds later when he realizes his answer

“just a little supply run for our frat. we weren’t supposed to run out of things for three more days, so this is just a lil emergency haul for awhile.”

you nod in understanding, glancing down at his basket and uh

uhm 1/4 of the space is literally occupied by boxes of condoms

....

......

jimin’s confused to why you turn silent, thinking that he must’ve gotten boring to continue talking to until he follows your gaze to his basket

NO WAY?!]>|>]%%[%]%]

“i-it’s not l-like that!!!” he crouches and immediately gets the food and the bottles of shampoo and conditioner to bury the condoms in the bottom of the pile, attractively getting more attention from you who’s ready to let it go

“i-it’s not — it’s ours — n-no!! t-they just gave me a list and i just put it because it’s on the list b-but like it wasn’t my-...”

how many more times will the universe fuck jimin up in front of the person he has a lil happy crush on

you only smile meekly, tilting your head and he thinks this is the part where you tell him how much of a douche he is

"y-you uhm, you-? y'know, you like... doing that? is that why it's your nickname?"

:O

“t-that?” jimin clarified albeit confused, thinking back to his nickname as he tries to rapidly connect the dots to not look like a fool

cherry king? that?? what do you-

WAIT WHAT

“nO!! o-of course not!!”

he almost shrieks and his voice sounds ultimately defensive, shaking his head no

why does he look so frantic

“hey, hey, i believe you! — calm down, jimin. you don’t have to explain anything to me.”

whew

fuck

but he argues that it iS the truth though!!!

but why won’t you just ask him why he’s called cherry king though >:(

you’re already content with the silence after the conversation but he isn’t, still wanting more

is it so bad that he wants redemption D:

“how about you? what are you doing here?”

you don’t answer instantly and it’s because you’re nudging jimin to continually walk, the cashier looking much more visible now as he’s nearer in line

he takes a look at the handful of things that’s in your basket —

electrolytes, hot pockets, soup, cup noodles and fever patches...?

“oh. i think i’m running a fever.”

what???

what are you doing here aLONE if you think you’re running a fever???

he’s not gonna lie about the fact that you don’t look too good

what if you pass out and no one’s there for you and all the graveyard shift employees do is put a wet floor sign around your figure???

“y/n?? what are you doing here alone then?? are you oUT of your mind??”

the panic in jimin’s voice is clear as day and you’re a little startled, instead responding to tapping him on the shoulder to point that he’s already the one on the cashier

what he does is grab your basket before he is, putting it in front of the conveyor belt because he couldn’t even wait for it to roll out

“i said i think i’m running a fever.”

jimin stops from simultaneously rummaging for his rewards card and putting his items on the counter to unceremoniously drop the box of condoms down jUST to put his hand on your forehead

“you are.”

you surely don’t think low of jimin but you can’t help be surprised either at his concern for you when this is the only time you’ve had a conversation with him!!!

“you drove here?” he asks in seriousness, sending you a look while waiting for the total amount

“walked. the airconditioning makes me even more sick,” you answer with no fuss because even thinking about car fresheners while you’re sporting a fever makes you want to gag. “let me-...”

jimin already pays for both your items in cash, getting them bagged separately as he’s not gonna take no for an answer for what he’s gonna propose next

“then i’ll keep the windows down. i’ll drive you back to your dorm.”

he grabs both your bags in one hand and uses the other to beckon you over, holding you still because it’s dark out and a fever vision wouldn’t exactly help

it’s only when he straps you in and (true to his word) puts the windows down and starts his car that you start asking

“why are you doing this for me?”

why IS he doing this for you??

jimin thinks about his answer in a second

“would you do the same for me?”

well

if you were in front of him at a godforsaken line, had yourself as your lockscreen, realize that jimin’s behind you with a fever and is by himself in a store at 10 in the evening

“of course i would.”

jimin smiles, steering away from his parking spot

“then i would too.”

( ♡ )

maybe you’re thinking of jimin

no wait you’re dEFINITELY thinking of jimin

you’re much better now and your fever’s already subsided enough for you to go back to class!!!

the whole interaction with him was three days ago and maybe your head is just full of him at this point

“are you sure you’re okay to handle this by yourself??”

jimin worries when he drops your bag to your hands, briefly coming inside your dorm to set it down

“mhmm. i’ll just sleep it out.”

“i think if you’re missing a couple of steps.”

you snort as his paranoid features, waving him off. “i’ll eat. then go to the bathroom. and then sleep.”

okay good enough

“what if this just-“ jimin trails off, his expansive mind suddenly running as he points to your chest, “stops????”

cute

“i have a smart watch.”

“would you put me as one of the emergency contacts? please?”

he’s making you take down his number without malice because jeez he’s gENUINELY worried!!!!

it may not always be great sharing a house with his frat brothers, but he knows that if he has a fever, atleast half of them would dote over him and you have atleast one who would go into hysterics!!! it’e a full package!!

“i’ll be okay, jimin. i’ll call you when i need someone to hand me my puke bucket.”

“please do. i’m not even kidding. get better now because i miss your dresses.”

o_O

uhm

“n-no i meant your usual style!! wait, not that there’s anything wrong w-with your style right now. i-i was-...”

“yeah. i miss them too. now go home, jimin.”

“you sure?”

u never really had the impulse to invite a guy to go inside your place but maybe now you do

“mhmm. drive safe.”

okay

:-)

“good night, y/n. call me whenever.”

classes were a bit rough today because you’re still easing yourself on getting back to the groove of things, but it was tolerable!!!

you’re getting your key out of your backpack when a lock clicks open a couple doors away from you, the hinge noisily squeaking

it’s jimin who leaves it, with seri who’s the actual occupant of the dorm leaning on the doorframe

“y/n—!”

he squeaks the moment his eyes land on you

your hand automatically waves, the same meek smile for him to see

“jimin.”

( ♡ )

the last interaction you had with him is still on jimin’s mind, a whole week later

it’s been bothering him recently that you know what it looks like the last time around!!!! but he could swear up and down that it wasn’t

he just feels this great urge to explain even if you haven’t asked

“oh. so we have to move out for the time-being?”

jimin clarifies with namjoon, the head of the frat, and he’s met with a solemn nod

it makes sense!!!

the house got checked today and there were mULTIPLE fire hazards!!! and it needs to be fumigated anyway under new campus protocol so it indeed makes sense

practically everyone's going home because it’s a long weekend anyway because of a holiday

and he’s not sure if he wants to take the same route.

“hi.”

jimin squeaks the moment you open your door, surprise evident on your face but not shock to the point you’d close the door on him

“jimin?”

okay maybe he’s gonna go straight to explaining

“frat house needed to be closed because of some complications, and it wouldn’t be open to us for another three days. most of the guys are coming home,” jimin clears his throat, his head down while he shyly scratches the back of his ear, “i have one, but i’m not sure if i wanna.”

oh

it’s that problem

it takes one, two seconds before it all registers in your head, nodding surely

“you can take my bed. i’ll take the couch, it’s a pull-out anyways.”

you open the door for him widely and the only thing you ask if he’s had dinner and if he’d like some

god you’re really throwing him in a loop here

it’s after a batch of your cooking that jimin’s only ache is why you were the way that you were, half-dazed the whole time he’s met you properly

“why do you never ask me?”

“hmm?” you hum as you dry the dishes that you’ve used, wanting to get it done as soon as possible so your full attention would be on him

no, actually. jimin WANTS you to pry!!

he wants you to worm your way into his privacy and into the confines of his mind

but it seems like you’ve already did without even asking.

“ask me why i’m called the cherry king.”

you tilt your head in confusion, that time playing in your head of why jimin looked confused when you didn’t continue to ask further

maybe you’ll indulge him

“why are you called the cherry king?”

jimin smiles, leaning to your couch with his arms relaxed

“we did secret santa for christmas at our frat house. taehyung thought it would be nice if he pranked me by gifting me a jar full of cherries, but i thought that was his actual gift, and i liked it to the point that i finished it in one sitting.”

tHAT’S ACTUALLY PRETTY ENDEARING

cute, even

“ask me why i came out of seri’s apartment last week.”

oh that’s.,.,. that’s a bit higher in level compared to nicknames

“why did you come out of seri’s apartment last week?”

“because seri’s the ex-girlfriend of hoseok, my frat brother, and he wanted me to return all her stuff because he doesn’t want to be reminded of his cheating ex.”

well that was definitely weighted

jimin plays with the hem of his shirt, the words tumbling out of his mouth

“ask me why i love you.”

why do you wHAT

your mouth drops open, the new position you took on the other end of the couch taking an impact on him

“w-why do you love me?”

jimin’s a lot of things but he’s not drunk tonight

he doesn’t know why he’s letting his feelings slip either, but it’s the bottomless need that he feels when he’s around you

“i feel wanted. i feel needed.”

he smiles cheerfully even if he feels shy dropping this on you all of a sudden

“not sure if you want me nor need me, but i feel welcome with you if that makes sense.”

:)

“you just make me feel loved, i guess.”

jimin looks at you for the first time since he’s opened his mouth, an equally fond look on your face

you said no words but what jimin receives is a gentle tug, your hand on the side of his face until he’s leaning on your shoulder

“i wanna know what's up there.”

he points a finger to your temple, an amused lilt to his tone, “surprise me.”

it’s an unfolding of things that was weeks in the making but months in developing, the distant glances leading you to recognize jimin in the shop in the first place

“i feel the exact same with you,” you answer honestly and it makes his laugh from his chest, his cheeks warm and his heart content

and you just wanna suspend yourselves in this moment forever

“oh! and if i were to lose my virginity to anyone at the moment, it'd be you!!”

...

....

jimin swats at your shoulder to which you only giggle at, a toothy smile on display as this is the warmest he’s ever felt

“i wasn’t kidding!!!”

you yawn when you defend yourself, predicting that you’d fall asleep sooner or later on the couch, but for the time-being, you just stroke jimin’s hair to soothe the both of you

jimin is now the furthest thing from sleepy

"what? you told me to surprise you!!"

[glorified-red]

Hi red! Could I get hcs with Damian? How reader and titus interact? Like do you think Titus wouldn’t like you, he would adore you at first sight,etc etc. thank you and stay safe

Thanks for the request my love! Damian needs some love today >:) I am absolutely not a dog person, yet another way the universe is trying to keep Damian and I separated. I could probably go on a huge rant about Alfred the cat simply because I am a cat person.

Damian and Titus

word count: 1080~

warnings: none

Thanks go out to @littleredwing89 and @offendedfishnoises for explaining to me how dogs work. AND a very very special thanks to @a-sketchy-jedi for one of Damians pet names for the reader, I went with a gender neutral one but I appreciated learning from you!

Titus is incredibly well-trained by Damian, he viewed it as a bonding exercise between him and the dog, but most importantly: a necessity

Damian trained the dog to become a protection dog after Bruce initially trained the dog to be a guard dog, so Titus is well versed in both, putting police dogs to shame

When Titus is around Damian, his primary objective is to protect his owner at all costs

This means Titus would much rather stay beside Damian than attack the offending person

However, if Damian wishes and commands him, Titus will attack anyone without a second thought, its the guard dog instinct in him

Titus won't really attack unless he either gets the command or has a reason to, his default is just calm and silent

So when you come along, the first meeting with Titus is a little worse than expected

When you first walk into the Manor to meet up with Damian, Titus is hot at his heels, silently watching you

Nothing happened at first, Titus was just sitting down beside Damian as you two said hello

But the second you went for a hug or a kiss, Titus was immediately peeved

He forced you off of Damian and positioned himself protectively in front of your lover, growling lowly with his ears back

Poor Titus was just a little confused because he had never seen you two kiss, and hugs look suspicious when not given by the batfam

Didn't make the huge dog any less terrifying, the forceful jump was enough to leave you scared considering how tall the Great Dane could get

Damian was mortified

Absolutely mortified

He wasn't mad at Titus, it was a simple mistake that can be solved with a bit more training, he did his job so why punish it?

But the fact that Titus jumped on you? Damian was honestly terrified you’d just walk out and refuse to be close to the dog

The last thing he wants is his two favorite companions not getting along, the thought alone scares him, he doesn't want to chose between the two of you

Damian quickly calms Titus down, going as far as squatting down in front of the dog so he could easily reassure Titus and position himself between you two in case Titus jumps again

“I apologize Ayni, I am positive he will grow to love you as much as I have, he just needs time.”

Little by little Titus will warm up to you, its pretty slow going but Damian seems to trust you and that should be enough for the dog

Damian will insist on you spending quality time with the dog, whether it be accompanying Dami as he walks the dog or petting the dog during movie nights

It takes a couple tries before Damian lets you roughhouse with the Great Dane, he doesn't want to destroy all the progress you've made, and he absolutely doesn't want to see you get jumped on again

Eventually -with the help of some treats- Titus will love playing with you, the gruff exterior melting away once he sees you (very similar to a certain someone)

Titus will become the dorkiest dog you’ve ever met, insisting he can still be a lap dog even when he's a giant, easily crushing you and Dami

If you shrug the dog off of you, Titus will just huff on collapse on your feet, crushing your precious toes under his weight

Damian will smile and softly explain to you that its a sign of love and affection

Get used to Titus rubbing his nose against your hand, you thought you were just a human tissue box, but Damian likes to believe Titus just loves you

He won't hesitate to spit out random dog facts either, whenever Titus does something specific that is

Once, Titus exposed his stomach to you and Damian, wanting a few glorious pets

“He trusts you,” Damian would say softly, gently guiding your hand to the dogs stomach

It was an amazing moment, one full of admiration because finally you got in the dogs good graces

Now the dog will never stop asking for your pets

He loves his owner with all his heart, but you give great pets and he wants them, Titus will go as far as to huff whenever you stop petting him

Titus will even tap you with his paw just to silently ask for more pets at random times of the day

Damian will never admit it, but the nights when Titus joins you for cuddles while he's at patrol, he gets a little jealous of the dog

He makes up for it by placing himself in between you two when he gets back with a subtle pout, Titus just huffs and curls up against Damian while Damian holds you

Most nights, Titus sleeps on the floor of Damians room, the protection dog in him forcing him to sleep in the corner with a full view of everything: the two of you on the bed, the window, and the doors

Damian trusts the dog to alert him if there is an intruder, so it’s very easy for him to fall asleep beside you

The last -and final- step in the bond between you and Titus, is the dog getting as protective of you as he is of Damian

That means the dog won't hesitate to perk up in the middle of the night if he hears something, barking to alert you two

Damian will go investigate (Titus knows the bat families' step sequences so he won't be barking at insomniatic bats - I’m looking at you Tim) before hushing you back to sleep, “It was nothing, my love, go back to sleep.”

You can even bring Titus with you when you go out around Gotham, the dog is now completely comfortable protecting you, growling at attackers, getting in front of you like he would with Damian, it warms your heart all the same

The subtleties of Titus’ protection is adorable

He’ll tug at your clothes gently to steer you away from trouble or guide you places

But the most adorable action of all is one he learned from you and Damian

Whenever Damian gets too worked up, frustrated or otherwise, you’ll calmly rest your hand on his knee or hand, sometimes even laying your head on his shoulder to ground him

Titus will comfort you by doing the same, laying his head gently on your knee

Taglist ♡

@anothertimdrakestan

@bungunz

@red-hood-redemption ​

[onceuponastory]

guilty - b.b x reader

Darling, darling, darling, let me sing to you Let me sing to you, let me sing to you Darling, darling, darling, let me shelter you Let you into all the homes that fear has made of me How the shingles fall like dust beside your company - little words: the happy fits (also you should check out the happy fits, cause their music is really good! highly recommend.)

Plot: Bucky tells his girlfriend Y/N the truth about his past...and all the bodies left in his wake. A/N: My friends requested Bucky being told that what happened to him and what he did as The Winter Soldier wasn’t his fault. They also wanted to see more emotional Bucky, like the opening scene of TFATWS episode 4, so I happily obliged! cause Bucky Barnes is not a villain and if you think he is gtfo.  Also, chapter 2 of ever after is coming, it’s just these chapters are turning out to be way longer than I first thought, lmao. Warnings: Mentions of blood, violence, torture, death...basically everything Bucky did as TWS. Also a lot of self loathing. This is a very angsty fic, but there’s a happy ending!

There are a lot of things in life that Bucky Barnes hates. The rain, for one thing. And John Walker. But most of all, what Bucky hates is feeling guilty. And with a past stained with as much blood as his...he has a lot to feel guilty about. It’s not that Bucky doesn’t want to feel guilty or atone for what he did, completely the opposite, in fact. He hates being unable to sleep at night without hearing screaming or seeing the blood he spilt. In all honesty, Bucky just wants it to stop. He hates closing his eyes every night and dreads actually falling asleep because he knows that’s when the nightmares begin. 

Bucky peers over from his spot on the couch to watch his girlfriend Y/N as she cleans up the things from dinner. She’s always been so sweet to him, and it breaks his heart to know that he’s not the kind of person she thinks he is. The complete opposite, actually. But most of all, Bucky hates how he knows he still hasn’t told her about his past and the type of person he used to be. He doesn’t want to tell her, not wanting to destroy her happiness.  Bucky imagines how she’ll react when he tells her. Probably run screaming in the other direction, or dump him immediately. And even though it breaks his heart to imagine that...he knows it’s what he deserves. But first, he has to tell her..and he’s going to do it today...If he can work up the guts to tell her, that is.

“Y/N? Doll? Can you come here for a sec? Please?” Bucky asks, trying to make his voice more serious, but still hating how nervous he sounds. Y/N walks over to him. She raises an eyebrow, clearly confused. Bucky clears his throat and pats the seat beside him on the couch, motioning for her to sit, which she does. 

“Buck? What’s going on?” She asks. Bucky tries not to wince at the fact she used his nickname. It still feels weird to him. Weird that he’s still alive, still loved by people enough to have a nickname, to have a girlfriend, and to be given a chance at redemption...even with all this blood on his hands. And when all the people he killed didn’t even have the opportunity to grow old and be loved. He ruined so many lives. Why should he be the one to find happiness? Why isn’t he the one who died? “Bucky?” Y/N cuts into his thoughts. She’s looking up at him, her eyes full of concern. Again, Bucky wonders what will happen when he tells her the truth. Will she even love him anymore? Or will she run for the hills?

“I uh...” He clears his throat. “I have something I need to tell you.” Her eyes widen slightly, and before Bucky can even think about what he’s going to say next, she asks:

“Did you cheat on me? Please tell me you didn’t.” For a moment, Bucky considers lying and telling her that he did cheat. Even though it’ll break her heart, it’s a lot better than admitting you’re responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people, regardless of whether or not he was brainwashed into doing so. That way, he can protect her from ever finding out the truth. She’d leave, and he could go back to being alone. Even though the very idea of losing Y/N and being alone forever hurts, Bucky knows that it’s the least of what he deserves. “Bucky, please. Just tell me the truth.” She pleads, and Bucky can see her eyes glistening with tears. “Whatever it is, we can talk about it and hopefully work through it.” Bucky’s not too sure about that one. He sighs. Even though the truth was a lot worse, Bucky knows Y/N deserves to hear it...even if it might destroy their relationship.

“No, it’s not like that. I didn’t cheat.” Y/N sighs, and relief floods her features.

“Good. I didn’t think you would do that to me. You’re not that kind of person.” Bucky feels his heart shatter. She doesn’t even know the kind of person he really was. The merciless killer. The Winter Soldier. Someone responsible for so much pain and suffering. Bucky takes her hands. He runs his non-metal thumb over her knuckles, trying not to stare too long at his metal arm and hand. Even though he was given a different one in Wakanda, one not tied to suffering, one without blood on it...seeing his metal arm still reminds him of the pain his previous one caused. “What do you need to tell me?”

“Um...” He sighs, trying to find the words. “Remember ages ago, when Sam said something happened to me? Something bad?” Y/N nods. “Well...he wasn’t exactly honest. I mean, yeah, something bad happened to me. But I did something bad. Something...worse.” She frowns. “Back when I was in World War Two with Steve, my unit got captured, and they experimented on me.”

“I know this. You and Steve told me.” Y/N cuts him off. 

“I know...but you don’t know the full extent of it.” Bucky sighs, memories flooding his brain. He squeezes his eyes shut for a second, trying to block them out. “They injected me with super-soldier serum, which helped me to survive the train fall, as you know.” She nods, listening intently. “Well. I didn’t just sit and wait for Steve to find me or escape heroically or anything. I, um...I....” He takes a deep breath. Y/N squeezes his hand, and Bucky almost breaks down in tears right then. She’s too sweet for him. He doesn’t deserve her. “I was taken by the Soviet Wing of Hydra, and they wiped my memories, implanted these...trigger words in me so I’d do whatever they want. I became their...assassin.”

“What are you saying?” She asks.

“I’m saying...I was the Winter Soldier. The monster that killed innocent people and injured countless others. I’ve left so many bodies in my wake...and done so many bad things Y/N. And I don’t deserve any of...this.” He waves his free hand around at the apartment they’re both in...and at her. Y/N blinks back at him, looking slightly shocked at Bucky’s revelation. “And I definitely don’t deserve someone like you. Not after what I did or who I was. The person who tried to kill Steve, Sam, Fury and Nat-”

“But you didn’t, Bucky, you-” She leans in closer, reaching her hand closer to the forearm of his metal arm.

“BUT I TRIED TO!” He exclaims, cutting her off as he jerks his metal arm back. Y/N jumps back a little, a look of fear crossing her face for a moment. That makes Bucky feel even worse. Even though Ayo and Shuri helped rehabilitate him, and Ayo removed his trigger words, Bucky has spent many sleepless nights tossing and turning. He stays awake almost all night, wondering how much of The Winter Soldier remains within him and whether he’d hurt or scare anyone that way again. Seeing the look of fear on Y/N’s face tells him only one thing: he’s still the same monster he was before. And now he’s scared the one person he wanted to protect. Bucky panics, and his stomach drops. Drops into a black hole that he wishes would swallow him whole. “I’m sorry, I-I I didn’t mean to-” He stammers, tripping over his words. Tears threaten to spill over, and he gets up from the couch quickly. “I’m sorry....I-I should just go. Maybe just...don’t contact me. I don’t want to hurt you o-or...” Without another word, Bucky walks towards the door. 

“Bucky! Bucky, wait!” He hears Y/N following him, and he tries to speed up to avoid her. “Wait, please! Please...don’t leave.” Bucky opens the front door to her apartment, and she runs in front of him, shielding the door with her body and placing her arms out so he can’t get by her. Bucky sighs. In the past, with his true strength, he could easily move her out of the way. But of course, there’s no way he would hurt her...at least, any more than he probably already has. 

“Y/N. Let me get past, please.” He mumbles, and she shakes her head. “Doll....”

“No. I’m not moving.”

“Look, it’s better for both of us if I just go. I’m a monster. I always have been and always will be. That serum that turned me into this monster is still in my veins. Who’s to know when it will strike again, even stronger, or if I hurt you? I can’t do that. I have to go.” He argues back, his voice quieter and shaky.

“No. You don’t. I’m not going to let you.” 

“Y/N.” He sighs again, exasperated. “I don’t know why you’re fighting this so much. I mean...it’s nice, but trust me, I don’t deserve it. Now...” He leans in and presses a delicate kiss to her forehead. But despite how delicately he kisses her, there’s still pain behind that kiss. The pain of leaving Y/N, the only woman he’s ever loved, forever. Bucky almost scoffs at that. Even when he’s trying to be tender and loving...all he does is cause pain. But after everything he’s done, Bucky knows that pain is what he deserves. And Y/N deserves someone better than him. Even though saying that still breaks his heart, he knows it’s true. “You need to let me go. Please. Just let me go.” He whispers, tears falling slowly down his cheeks. Y/N shakes her head again.

“No. Stop asking me to, because I won’t.”

“Why not? You know-”

“Because!” She shouts, snapping her head up to him, tears filling her eyes too. “...Because I’m in love with you, Bucky, and hearing you talk about yourself like that, and saying you don’t deserve to be loved...it breaks my heart.” Bucky blinks at her, confused.

“But-but I did so many bad things!”

“When you were brainwashed!” She snaps back. “I know you killed people. But it wasn’t your choice. Was it?” She asks. Bucky shakes his head. Of course, it wasn’t his choice...but he still did it. And he still has to live with it. “See? It wasn’t you, Bucky. They turned you into that person. It wasn’t your conscious choice.” 

“But I-” Bucky tries to argue back, but Y/N interrupts him again

“Listen. The way I see it, you were kidnapped whilst you were trying to save the world. And when that happened, they tortured you and forced the serum on you whilst Steve chose to get it, right?” Bucky nods. “And then, they kidnapped you again, wiped your memories and forced you to kill all those people.”

“Well, yes, but I-”

“Bucky. It wasn’t you. It wasn’t your choice. It's not your fault. I know you didn’t want to do those horrible things. And you’re atoning for them, aren’t you?” Bucky frowns.

“How...how do you know that?”

“I found your notebook. Sam told me it used to be Steve’s. I uh...I had a look inside and saw a list of names. Are those the people you wronged?” Bucky nods, feeling tears growing in his eyes again. 

“My uh...my therapist suggested it would be useful. It’s part of my pardon, I think. But I wanted to anyway.” 

Y/N’s eyes soften. “See Bucky? The fact you’re atoning and that you actually want to, means so much about you. You’re trying to do the right thing.” She steps forward and gently takes his hands in hers. “I’ll be with you every step of the way. Because I know that’s not you. It wasn’t you then, and it’s not now. You’re the kind of guy who brings me ice cream when I’m upset, who laughs at pictures and videos of cats, and sings along to Disney films with me. You’re not a killer. You are not The Winter Soldier. Your name is James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes, and it’s not your fault.” Bucky is silent for a while, as he can’t even think of something to say. He’s simply overwhelmed with emotion and the feeling of having someone like Y/N loving and supporting him. So overwhelmed, in fact, that he starts crying. Actually, he starts sobbing as the years of pent up emotion spill over. Y/N wraps her arms around him and pulls him closer. Bucky doesn’t even try to stop her, and just wraps his arms around her in return. He feels like his legs are about to give way at any moment and that he’s definitely covering her outfit in snot and tears, but she doesn’t seem to care. All she does is repeat: “You are not The Winter Soldier anymore. Your name is James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes, and it’s not your fault.” She continues this phrase, trying to drill into Bucky that it’s not his fault. After a while, Bucky feels his legs give out, and the pair crash to the floor, but Y/N doesn’t let go. She squeezes him even tighter as Bucky’s body shakes as he cries, so tightly it’s as if she’s trying to transfer all her love and warmth into him. “I love you. So much.” She whispers, softly kissing him on the lips.

“I love you too.” Bucky whispers. Y/N pulls away and looks over at him, her eyes full of love and support.

“I’m here for you. I always will be. You deserve love. It’s not your fault Bucky. It never was.” She whispers. And for the first time in forever...Bucky starts to believe that. Of course, he knows he still has a lot of healing and therapy to go through. But, he knows that as long as he has Y/N there to support him, he’ll be okay.

[yesimwriting]

Hi! I have been having an off day I’m kinda exhausted and anxious slightly snappy haha. I was wondering how would the darkling react to an anxious reader that he cares about. 😊

a/n ive been a little MIA but im working i promise!! i felt really apathetic about writing for awhile bc of some personal stuff but ive been trying to get back into it bc im genuinely happier when i write :)

--

- ok so i think how he reacts to an anxious person that he cares about depends on where you're at in the relationship,, which might be kinda a 'duh' but it needs to be said for how im setting this up lol

- bc if he's kinda just starting to figure out his feelings, i think he'd be so surprised by how much he cares that he has to hold back his immediate reactions, bc he may have his faults but he's def protective once he realizes something is affecting/hurting the person he sees as the sun

- that protectiveness stems from wanting to be what makes you happy, he wants to feel like he's your shelter so that he feels like he's good enough for you. He wants you to be happy so he can feel your warmth but he also really wants the redemptive feeling that comes from knowing that he's your protector in a way.

- he wants to protect and make you happy so bad, sometimes you need to be like 'umm...i really appreciate that you want to torture the person that bumped into me a little too hard on a bad day,, but maybe let's not??' especially if you are still in that phase where he kinda scares/intimidates you bc you know him more as the General

- not only are his more over the top reactions a little scary bc you don't want to offend him by not wanting to talk about it to avoid blowing the situation up,, they're also confusing

- bc you had no idea he cared if you lived or died let alone cared if you were nervous or not?? but sometimes it makes you feel really comforted, bc if someone as hardened as the darkling can care that much about how youre feeling than you can't be as awful as you're feeling

- and it's also comforting bc he's clearly strong and powerful and when he puts a hand on your shoulder and stares at you like you're the only tangible thing in the world and telling you that he's not going to let anything happen to you,, the rational part of your anxiety is appeased to say the least.

- alright but that's at like the first stage of the relationship for him, bc i feel like he def has like twenty stages he goes through before finally being in a committed relationship bc even though he wants an attachment and love so badly bc he hates his eternal loneliness, he has a lot of layers to work through before he feels secure enough in you as a person to risk vulnerability

- so if he's at the point where he's accepted what he feels for you,, but has yet to really act on it, this is where he starts to give himself away a little

- like you'll mention being stressed about training in the Little Palace, or not getting along with someone and he immediately jumps to encouraging you. It's kinda funny bc at first he seems like he's just trying to be a supportive pal bc at this point ur sorta friendly (at least more friendly than anyone else is with the darkling) but then he kinda losses himself in talking about how amazing you are.

- and if youre feeling anxiety/bad bc of someone in particular, you better not mention their name unless you're 100 percent sure you're furious at them.

- sometimes it causes some strain bc you don't necessarily want him to get involved, and he's not above lowkey guilting you into telling him the full story, but it's not really intentional. He just starts talking about how much trust he puts in you and you just let the little things go after making him promise to leave things alone.

- if your anxiety is general,, or just bc of a. bunch of little things and he's at a point in which he's accepted how much he cares about you but has not told you yet,, he'll try to hide how soft he feels, but sometimes he slips up.

- honestly, i wouldn't be surprised if a really big relationship milestone came from that.

- like you crying one night and the darkling finding you, and then him taking you back to your room and promising to stay so that you don't have to feel alone and then the next morning you wake up and he's holding you

- at first ur like ?? but he acts so normal you're like maybe that can be platonic? but then it starts happening more and more and neither of you mention it and then when you two finally do get together youre like 'ohh? im stupid'

- and if your anxiety comes from your worry about him?? wow--he'll have to stop himself from kissing you

- this is a man who is so used to being hated/feared that the concept of someone worrying about him so much they physically don't feel well?? that would hit him STRAIGHT in the chest, and he'd be so quick to pull you to him, and then you'd be like--are you ok??

- wouldn't be surprised if that's how you found out he had feelings for you,, like he'd say something like "i didnt know the brightest star in the sky could want to protect the darkness instead of banish it. You're the brightest light I've ever known, it was more than enough for me that you weren't repulsed by my darkness...and now..."

- anyways,, if you were already established together and you were anxious, he would have no need to hold back

- if he notices your hesitant to let him 'help' he might do a thing or two to reduce sources of your stress without telling you...which sometimes leads to you getting a little mad, but depending on how extreme his actions were, he normally smoothes it over quickly

- i mean,, it's just how he shows that he cares, he's never had someone that could snap their fingers and get rid of his adversaries or reschedule a thing or two to make his life easier

- he sees no harm in it,, and even though sometimes other people may give you a bit of a hard time bc of his evident favoritism,, you know it just means he cares

- if he goes really far, you're more willing to be mad at him, but honestly when youre upset all you want is to be near him bc there's nothing more comforting,, so you agree to hold off on arguing lol

- i mean there are always lines that get crossed, so there are times he cant charm himself out of your anger, but the longer youre together the more he tries to hold off on doing things that make you really angry,, unless he feels like the person really hurt you, then nothing can stop his anger

- if youre actually together he's much more quick to comfort you physically if youre feeling really anxious,, he'll kiss you everywhere until he's all you can think about, which works for when your anxious over small things

- if your problem is larger, he cant exactly kiss it away though i cant say that doesnt help but it's still comforting and relaxing bc duh,, so i feel like he's really touchy if youre upset

- kissing sometimes leads to other stuff,, but that should be its own fic/headcanon bc i have a secret head cannon that feeling needed or like the only one his partner has is a turn on for him bc it returns some of the power he feels like he gives up by letting his partner care about him

- might have to write that fic now that im thinking about it....

- if youre so anxious you dont want to be touched, it'll be a little harder for him, but if he reaches for you and you back away he'll try to talk you down and remind you that he's not going to let anything happen and as long as he's breathing he'll make sure you're okay

- if youre officially together and youre anxious about something small, he's actually surprisingly nice to talk to,, before you were close you felt like you were bothering him with small, insignificant things,, but once you know that he cares about you he's a patient listener bc he likes being really present with you when he can bc he's busy so often

- sometimes if youre worried or upset he jumps to anger towards the object of your distress before comfort, but once youre at the dating part, you know that that's just how he is, and anger is how he shows love in a way?? lol, so you just have to clearly tell him that you'd rather him stay with you then rush out and like smite someone, he'll stop and comfort you

- sometimes how much he cares makes him angry at himself bc he begins to question if he'd pick you/your happiness over his goal, if he can't convince himself that you'd never get in the way of that, he gets a little cold until he feels assured in his loyalties or at least assured in the fact that your happiness would never conflict with his goals

- that can happen at any point in your relationship,, i feel like it'd happen more when he's unsure about his feelings bc seeing how much he cares about someone that's nothing to him makes him want to banish his nerves

- overall though,, once he cares about you, whether he's fully accepted it or not, he'd burn the world down to make you feel okay again,, or stay in bed with you for awhile, or both--whatever you want, really

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

Jin Guangyao isn't cruel because he is nice sometimes! No... no... just no. He pretends to be a nice, sweet person to get what he wants, it is exactly why he got away with the killings and plannings for the Yin Hu Fu, YEARS AFTER JIN GUANGSHAN IS OUT OF THE PICTURE. He's the only legitimate Jin left old enough to take over the Sect, who the hell was gonna argue that when all relevant Jins were dead and Nie Mingjue was killed by the happy smiling pretty boy?

First example, he was actively friends with Xue Yang, there is no saying he was coerced into that one since he recommended him as a guest disciple and made creepy little jokes with him.

Jin GuangYao sighed, “I only turned around for a second and you stirred up so much trouble for me. I only had to pay for a bowl of dumplings in the beginning, and now I have to pay for his table, chairs, pots and pans, and even bowls.”

Xue Yang, “You’ll miss the couple of coins?”

Jin GuangYao, “No.”

Xue Yang, “Then why are you sighing?”

Jin GuangYao, “I don’t think you’ll miss the couple of coins either. Why can’t you try being a normal customer once in a while?”

Xue Yang, “Back in Kuizhou I never paid for anything I wanted. Just like this.” As he spoke, he casually plucked off a stick of sugared haws off a vendor’s pole. It might be the first time the vendor saw such a shameless person. As he stared open-mouthed, Xue Yang took a bite, “Besides, you can deal with the trouble of me wrecking a tiny stall, can’t you?”

Jin GuangYao smiled, “You little delinquent. Wreck stalls however you want. I wouldn’t even care if you burned down the entire street. Just one thing—don’t wear the Stars Amidst Snow robes and cover up your face. Don’t let anyone know who did it, or it’d be trouble for me.”

He tossed the money to the vendor

A.K.A: haha you're funny and I don't care who you fuck over but be sly and

Next example:

And so, Jin GuangShan sought after all those who imitated Wei WuXian in cultivating the ghostly path and gathered them under his rule. He spent a great amount of money and resources on these people, ordering them to study and analyze the structure of the Tiger Seal in secrecy so that they could replicate and restore it. Among them, not many achieved anything, while the one who walked the furthest was the youngest Xue Yang, recommended by Jin GuangYao alone.

Jin GuangYao was overjoyed. He accepted him as a guest cultivator and gave him high rights and freedom. The corpse training ground was an area of land Jin GuangYao specially requested for Xue Yang for him to research in secrecy, which meant for him to fool around however he wanted to.

He gave a whole torture playground for Xue Yang to use, he specifically asked for this from his own mouth, for Xue Yang to use and he would check in on progress. As for his morals:

Jin GuangYao’s tone was somewhat reproachful, “He Su gongzi is a respected cultivator, after all. How could you refer to him in such a disrespectful way?”

The cultivator laughed coldly, “I’ve already fallen in your hands. What are you keeping up the pretense for?”

Jin GuangYao responded with a kind expression, “You don’t have to look at me like that. I also had no choice. To elect a chief cultivator is an irresistible trend. What was the use of stirring up trouble and seeking arguments everywhere? I’ve already warned you again and again, yet you were determined not to listen to me. Under these circumstances, things are already beyond redemption. From the bottom of my heart, I, too, feel utmost pain and regret.”

He Su, “What was the irresistible trend? What was stirring up trouble? Jin GuangShan wanted to establish the position of chief cultivator only to imitate the QishanWen Sect in being the only one at the top. Do you think all the world is ignorant? You frame me like this only because I spoke the truth!”

Jin GuangYao smiled, saying nothing. He Su continued, “When you really succeed, all of the world of cultivation would see the true face of the LanlingJin Sect. Do you think killing me alone would put you eternally at ease? How wrong you are! We, the TingshanHe Sect, teem with talent. From now on, we’ll unite and never surrender to you Wen-dogs of another skin!”

Hearing this, Jin GuangYao squinted slightly, the corners of his lips curving up. It was the usual kind, gentle expression. Seeing this, He Su felt his heart skip a beat. At the same time, commotion sounded outside the corpse training ground, among it the cries of women and children.

He Su spun around, only to see a group of LanlingJin Sect cultivators drag inside sixty or seventy people all wearing the same uniform. There were men and women, old and young. Every one of them was a cross between shock and fear, while some were already crying. Both tied up, a girl and a boy kneeled on the ground as they wailed at He Su, “Ge!”

He Su was shocked speechless, his face instantly as white as paper, “Jin GuangYao! What are you doing?! It’s enough if you kill me—why drag my entire sect along?!”

Jin GuangYao looked down and fixed his sleeves, still grinning, “Weren’t you yourself the one who reminded me just now? Even if I killed you, I wouldn’t be put eternally at ease. The TingshanHe Sect teems with talent, and from now on, you’d unite and never surrender—I was quite frightened. After much thought, this was the only thing I could come up with.”

Among the group are children. That he did see and stare at gleefully as he lets Xue Yang decide to use all of them for corpse experiments. What does that mean??? Maybe that Jin Guangyao is also not in fact best uncle as he similarly was willing to kill Jin Ling who he "loved" as bait to try running away and is more than willing to use his "friends" for his own rise to power or to run away.

Examples of him enjoying emotionally torturing others as much as Xue Yang as a tactic:

Example 1:

“That’s not the way to go about things, is it? The TingshanHe Sect rebelled and schemed to assassinate Sect Leader Jin with all its forces before it was caught red-handed. How could that be called without a reason?”

The ones overhead cried, “Ge! He’s lying! We didn’t, we didn’t!”

He Su, “Utter nonsense! Open your eyes and fucking look! There are nine-year-old children here! Old men who can’t even walk! How could they rebel against anything?! Why would they assassinate your dad out of nowhere?!”

Jin GuangYao, “Because you made a mistake and committed murder, Young Master He Su, while they refused to accept Koi Tower’s conviction of you, of course.”

He Su finally remembered the accusation for which he was transferred to such a creepy place, “It’s all made up! I never killed a cultivator of the LanlingJin Sect! I’ve never even seen the person who died! I don’t even know if he was really a cultivator from your sect! I… I…”

He stammered for a while before eventually caving in, “I… I don’t even know what happened, I don’t even know!”

Yet, at such a place, nobody would listen to his protests.

Example 2:

Just as he was about to move, Jin GuangYao smiled, “HanGuang-Jun, it’s best if you take five steps back.”

Wei WuXian suddenly felt a small, sharp sting come from his neck. Lan XiChen lowered his voice, “Be careful. Do not move!”

Lan WangJi’s gaze landed on Wei WuXian’s neck. His face paled slightly.

An almost invisible guqin string, light and golden, was tied around Wei WuXian’s neck.

The guqin string was extremely thin. It was covered in special paint as well, making it almost invisible to the eye. Along with how disoriented Wei WuXian was, unable to pay attention to anything else, he didn’t notice it when it wrapped around his throat.

“Lan Zhan, don’t! Don’t back away!”

But Lan WangJi immediately walked five steps back without any hesitation.

Jin GuangYao, “Wonderful. Now, please sheathe Bichen.”

With a clank, Lan WangJi obeyed again. Wei WuXian raged, “Don’t ask for too much!”

Jin GuangYao quipped, “This is already asking for too much? Next, I’m even going to ask HanGuang-Jun to seal away his spiritual powers. What would that be called?”

Wei WuXian seethed, “You…”

Before he could finish, the sharp pain of flesh being lacerated came from his throat. Something dripped down his neck. Lan WangJi’s face was pale. Jin GuangYao said, “How could he not listen to me? Just think about it, Wei gongzi, his life is in my hands.”

Lan WangJi spoke one word at a time, “Do. Not. Touch. Him.”

“Then you know what to do, HanGuang-Jun.”

A moment later, Lan WangJi responded, “Yes.”

Lan XiChen sighed. Lan WangJi raised his hands. With two strong taps, he locked his own spiritual powers.

Jin GuangYao smiled, his voice soft, “This really is…”

Lan WangJi’s eyes were locked on them, “Let him go.”

Example 3:

Wei WuXian wouldn’t have had to be responsible for a life as heavy as Jin ZiXuan’s, and the things that happened later wouldn’t have had to happen.

Yet now, he finally realized even the reason behind culprit’s curse wasn’t to frame him. Even the cause didn’t have anything to do with him!

Such a fact was truly difficult to accept.

As he laughed, Wei WuXian’s eyes reddened. He mocked, whether at himself or otherwise, “I can’t believe it’s because of someone like you… because of such a ridiculous reason!”

But Jin GuangYao seemed like he knew what he thought, “Wei gongzi, you really shouldn’t think like this.”

Wei WuXian, “Oh? You know what I think?”

Jin GuangYao, “Of course. It’s quite easy. You’re definitely thinking about how unfortunate you are. In reality, you’re not. Even if Su She didn’t curse Jin ZiXun, Mr. Wei, you’d receive a siege sooner or later, because of some other reason.” He smiled, “Because that’s what kind of a person you are. At best, you’re the untamed hero; at worst, you offend people wherever you go. Unless all those whom you’ve offended lived their lives safely, as soon as something happened to them or someone did something to them, the first person they suspect would be you and the first person they seek revenge on would also you. And this is something you have no control over.”

Somehow, Wei WuXian smiled, “What should I do? For some reason, I think you make a lot of sense.”

Jin GuangYao, “And even if you didn’t lose control at the Qiongqi Path, could you guarantee you didn’t lose control sometime in the rest of your life? Thus, someone like you is destined to have a short life. You see? Doesn’t it feel a lot better if you think about it this way?”

He takes little time in using others hurt or their protective instincts against them, and is just as gleeful to see others in powerless situations in comparison to him as it still gives him a form of control to worm his way out of everything that has caught up to him.

Jin GuangYao, “Ge, every word of what I say is true.”

His tone was more than earnest. Ever since he captured Lan XiChen, he’d indeed been treating him with respect. At this point, Lan XiChen wasn’t able to turn against him yet. He could only sigh, “Sect Leader Jin, I have already said, when you went your own way to scheme such havoc at Burial Mound, that there was no longer any need to call me ‘Brother.’”

Jin GuangYao, “What happened at Burial Mound was an accident, a mistake. But, I can’t go back anymore.”

Lan XiChen, “What do you mean you cannot go back?”

Lan WangJi frowned slightly, his voice cold, “Xiongzhang, do not engage in excessive conversation with him.”

Wei WuXian reminded him as well, “Sect Leader Lan, do you remember what you said to Sect Leader Jiang? Don’t spend too long talking to him.”

Jin GuangYao, “Ge, listen to me. I don’t deny that I did those things…”

Lan XiChen, “How could you deny them? There are both witnesses and proof!”

Jin GuangYao, “And so I said I don’t deny them! But to have killed my father, my wife, my son, ge—if not because I had no other choice, why would I have done those things? Could it be that I’m really so out of my mind in your eyes?!”

"Your… wife…” As though he couldn’t say it, he immediately changed his phrasing, "Your sister, Qin Su, did you really marry her while knowing what blood relationship you had with her?”

Jin GuangYao stared blankly at him. Suddenly, tears rolled down his eyes. He answered with pain, “… Yes.” Lan XiChen took in a deep breath. His face was almost ashen. Jin GuangYao whispered, "But I really had no choice.”

With a sigh, Lan XiChen continued, “Third, do not try to avoid it and answer me—did you plan the death of Jin ZiXuan on purpose?!”

Hearing his father’s name, Jin Ling, who’d been holding Jiang Cheng, widened his eyes.

Lan WangJi raised his voice somewhat, “Xiongzhang, you believe him?”

Lan XiChen’s expression was complicated, “Of course I do not believe that Jin ZiXuan ran into the attack at Qiongqi Path by accident, but… let him speak first.”

Jin GuangYao knew he wouldn’t be believed if he denied it no matter what. He clenched his teeth, “… I indeed didn’t run into Jin ZiXuan by accident.”

Jin Ling immediately clenched his fists.

Jin GuangYao continued, “But I’ve never thought of planning everything that happened afterward either. You don’t have to think of me as so clever and faultless. Many things can’t be controlled at all. How could I have known that he’d definitely die by Wei WuXian’s hands together with Jin ZiXun? How could I have predicted that Wei WuXian would definitely lose control and the Ghost General would definitely run a riot?”

Wei WuXian’s voice was harsh, “And you said you didn’t run into him by accident? Isn’t that self-contradiction?!”

Jin GuangYao, “I don’t deny that I told him about the attack at Qiongqi Path on purpose, but I only thought that he’d encounter some difficulties if he ran into you when you were being troubled by his cousin since he’d never been on good terms with you. How could I have known that you would simply kill everyone present, Wei gongzi?”

“Why was a sect leader who spent money like water unwilling to do the smallest favor and buy my mother’s freedom? Simple—it was too much trouble. My mother waited for so many years, weaving together so many difficult circumstances when she talked to me, imagining for his sake so many hardships. And the real reason was only a single word: trouble.

“This is what he said, ‘It’s especially women who’ve read some books who think they’re a level higher than other women. They’re the most troublesome, with so many demands and unrealistic thoughts. If I bought her freedom and took her back to Lanling, who knows how much fuss she’d make. It was best that I let her stay where she was just like that. With her conditions, she’d probably be popular for a few more years. She wouldn’t have to worry about her spendings for the rest of her life.’

“‘Son? Oh, forget it.’”

Jin GuangYao’s memory was extraordinary. With such a word-by-word repetition, one could even imagine that drunk expression of Jin GuangShan’s when he said these words, “Ge, look, those three words were all that I was worth to my father, ‘Oh, forget it.’ Hahahaha…”

Pain flashed before Lan XiChen’s face, “Even if your father… you…” He still couldn’t find an appropriate comment and gave up, sighing instead, “What is the use of saying all this now?”

Jin GuangYao shrugged as he smiled, “I can’t help it. To seek pity even after doing all these terrible things—that’s the kind of person I am.”

At the word ‘pity’, he suddenly flipped his wrist. A red guqin string wrapped around Jin Ling’s neck.

Tears still hung at the corners of Jin GuangYao’s eyes as he spoke, voice low, “Don’t move!”

"I had no choice", "I couldn't predict anyone would be killed" "He mocked and forgot my mother and I". He uses all of this as a try to convince a kind Lan Xichen to let him go. However,he contradicts his own defenses as he had said Wei Wuxian was always fated to die for his actions and lack of being to keep things under control. This empathy is faked on his end while he makes excuses all while he never extended the same courtesy to those he killed, innocent or not, and underhandedly still tries to get those sympathetic under his manipulations. When they are not working he resorts again to threatening lives. He uses his mother also as a reason for revenge, however his grab for power alone after Jin Guangshan and Nie Mingjue are killed was solely based on his own obsession of status at that point. His mother was no longer a goal to accomplish anything and his continued lies dragged in more than one innocent party to get what he wanted.

He never saw Jin Ling, Lan Xichen, Lan Wangji, or Wei Wuxian as anything but pawns despite his soft words to them that are really just a mockery within Guanyin Temple at that point. He has placed none of them before himself in terms of what he cares for and never had.

TL:DR: Jin Guangyao's "kindness" was always a mask and Nie Mingjue was right that he was irredeemable, genuinely unkind and cruel as a person.

(Edit: Jin Guangyao stans don't even try, I will block you if you dare to reply to this)

[inmyownlaine]

Hi,love your writing and was wondering if I could request a John Murphy fluff/angst based on season 2or3 where the reader and him get in an argument about him ‘being with Emori’ but he likes the reader?

John Murphy x Reader: Promises

*Absolutely! Thank you for the suggestion. Also, let's just act like I haven't been MIA for literal months :)

GIF//

Warnings: None to my knowledge!

Word Count: 2078

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“Don’t go,” you begged, grabbing Murphy’s hand as it swung carelessly behind him. When your fingers touched his skin, Murphy stopped immediately. He inhaled heavily through his nose, trying to control the sadness and desire that you sent rippling through his body.

“Murphy, please,” you whimpered.

Murphy’s shoulder dropped as he let the single strap of his backpack slide down his arm. Your eyes lit up, hoping that was a positive sign. Hoping that you were enough to make him stay.

“I can’t.”

“You can,” you said assertively. “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” he replied, apologetic eyes looking at you between half-closed eyelids. He was right. You didn’t understand. He had nothing to apologize for. He didn’t have to prove himself to you. Or ask for your forgiveness. None of the things that his blue eyes seemed to convey.

“You don’t need redemption.”

“But if I go now, maybe when I come back-”

“What?” you interrupted. “Everything will suddenly be different?”

“Is it so wrong to want that?” he questioned softly, a shaky sigh leaving his body. You tightened your grip, white knuckles against red calloused ones. Just another casualty of his bad temper.

“Of course not. But you’re not going to fix anything by leaving. You need to stay. Stay and show them who you can be. Don’t leave and prove them right.”

Murphy dropped his head, fixated on your two hands intertwined. There was a lot more going on than the surface discussion. You danced around being in love by using double meanings and knowing glances. This wasn’t about him leaving to find himself. It was about him leaving you.

Glassy eyes meet together in a flurry of uncertainty and passion. The pit of your stomach churned as Murphy leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. They barely touched before he pulled away, eyes closed. It was a kiss that you never wanted to experience, especially being your first.

You knew he was leaving.

“Don’t cry,” he told you, hearing a sniffle escape. His eyes still rested, he quietly spoke, “I will be back. I promise. I have something to come back to.”

“Murphy, I-”

“I promise.” He now faced the reality of the situation, confronting his fears head on as he stared into your bloodshot eyes. There was no way he would ever be the cause of this again. He just needed one chance to make you proud. To clear his name.

“I promise.”

────────────────────────────────────────────

The taste of dirt and sweat caused you to gag as you were manhandled into the unknown. You had no idea why you were the target of a kidnapping. If anything, you laid low and kept to yourself. Regardless, you followed the directions given to you, fearing what would become of your life if you didn’t.

“I’ve brought you some company!” the voice behind you bellowed. You jumped at the sudden noise, interested in the way he practically sang the announcement.

“Who?” another voice asked, seeming alert and slightly panicked. You knew this voice anywhere and it quickly became clear why you were here. Even still, you obeyed the commands given. If you spoke a word, made any noise, it would be the end of your life.

“Worried, are we?” The man started to laugh heartily as you continued to walk. Every thundering step matched the beating of your heart. What would happen when you finally stopped?

There was no response, so the man began to speak. “Someone who wouldn’t shut up about you. Scared for you. Desperate to see you.”

As if being captured weren’t enough, this was just plain humiliating. He didn’t have to recount all the times you pined after Murphy while he was gone. You lost track of the months it had been since you last saw him. This was not how you wanted to reunite.

“Who. Is. It?” Murphy asked yet again. It was dark and menacing. A resemblance of a person that he used to be. You knew that would always be a part of him. Especially when it involved people that he cared about.

“A girlfriend?” the man guessed. You cringed hearing that word, tormenting and taunting you of what never was. But how Murphy replied was even more heartbreaking.

“Emori?” The man began to cackle once more as Murphy cursed and threatened his life. It was terrible to hear the intensity of his love. How much he cared for someone else while you turned others down, waiting for him.

The man gave you one last shove, causing you to fall to your knees. Through minute gaps in the woven sack over your head, you finally caught an amber hue of light. You groaned in pain, trying your best to stay upright with your hands tied behind your back.

There was a brief moment of silence before another outburst broke out. This time, you heard the scuffling of feet against the floor. Fabric harshly rubbed against a scratchy surface. It sounded like an attempt to escape.

“Let her go!” Murphy yelled.

“Why would I do that? I have everything I need, now. Except for the information.”

“Just let her go and I’ll tell you, okay? I’ll tell you everything,” Murphy frantically said.

“But I’m having so much fun. Maybe just one...little…” A cold blade touched your neck, causing a shriek to escape your throat. He put an ounce of pressure against your rapidly thumping artery.

“I swear to God if you hurt her I will kill you!” Murphy’s voice was full of anguish as it broke here and there. It was a frequency in which you had never heard from him. It was harrowing to witness.

The knife was removed from your neck. In a series of exchanges, Murphy gave him the answer to every single question he asked. When the interrogation was over, you were picked up and moved to a new area. Here, you were tied once more around my stomach.

Then, without warning, the bag was removed from your head. You could barely take in my surroundings before Murphy called your name. Tears fell from your eyes as you saw, for the first time in months, John Murphy. Though you had to admit, he looked worse for wear.

“Murphy,” you cried back, wanting more than anything to be able to touch him. To hug him. To take in his scent. You had been without this man for way too long.

“That’s sweet,” the man, who you could now identify as Titus, interrupted. “But I’ve got what I wanted. For now.” And with that, he turned on his heel and exited the room, leaving you and Murphy alone.

“Oh my God, are you okay?” Murphy asked immediately.

“I’m fine,” you replied. “But you don’t look good at all.”

“Yeah, well, being tortured does that to a person.”

“He tortured you?” you questioned, breath leaving your body. Picturing someone hurting Murphy made you sick.

“A few times,” he shrugged.

You wanted to be happy. You wanted to ask him about his trip. You wanted to know if he discovered himself. If he found who he truly was. But you couldn’t get past the fact that he said another girl’s name.

You never claimed to be anything more than friends, but you thought it went without saying. A person doesn’t just kiss someone before they leave. Or promise that they would come back to you.

“I hate that I have to see you like this,” Murphy finally said, breaking the silence. “I always imagined coming back to camp with Jaha’s group. We just saved the human race, or something like that. But it didn’t matter, because I was looking for you.”

“Not Emori?” you mumbled, mustering up the courage to be so bold. Murphy’s eyes grew wide as he avoided your haunting gaze.

“Look, it wasn’t supposed to- she just- we were,” he tried to explain, slumping over in the process.

“I waited for you. Every day,” you admitted. “The last thing I did before I went to bed was look out the gate for you. Every morning I woke up with the hope that it would be the day you came back to me.”

You started to sob, recounting the loneliness that you felt. And the fear of not knowing Murphy’s fate. Were you holding out for someone who was dead? Was it hopeless to wish that he would keep his promise?

“I turned people down. I kept faith in you. I told everyone how proud I was. And then to know that you weren’t keeping me with you at all. I wasn’t even a passing thought.”

“It’s not like that,” Murphy said.

“But it is. She’s your girlfriend.”

“I don’t- love her,” he said softly, swallowing hard enough to make his entire throat bob up and down.

“Then what?” You were at the tipping point with Murphy. Exasperated with his short answers and frustrated with the secrets he was holding. If he wouldn’t be honest with you now, there was no way you would ever be with him in the future.

“I’ve been through a lot. More than I expected.” He stared into the distance, seemingly void of emotion. It was like he was lost, trying hard to remember something that he pushed away. “I was trapped. By myself. 86 days. You know how I spent that time?”

You shook your head in response. He was still burning holes in the wall, but somehow knew that you replied. He smirked slightly before saying, “I thought about you. And how good it would feel to see you once I was out. Granted, I went absolutely crazy in there, but you kept me as sane as I could be.”

You couldn’t help but to chuckle at this. “I can’t imagine you any more psychotic than you are now.”

“Is that so?” he bantered, catching you out of the corner of his eye.

“You’re a freak,” you teased.

“Why? Because I’ve killed a few people?”

“Yeah, that probably contributes.” The two of you shared a smile, falling back into old patterns. You missed having a person that you could shamelessly be yourself around. The quick wit and sly comments were always absorbed and thrown back by Murphy. No one else stood a chance against you.

“When he said he had someone,” Murphy carried on, “you’re the first person I thought of. But it seemed impossible until I saw you. I don’t know what came over me. I- I was blind with rage. I tried to fight my way out. Because if he hurt you-”

Murphy couldn’t bear to finish the sentence. You didn’t need him to. You knew what was left to say. You heard the distinct difference, the silence that fell, when he realized you were the captured person and not Emori.

“I know that doesn’t make any of this right, but I just wanted that feeling of safety that you gave me. And Emori was there. I misplaced it. And I’m sorry,” Murphy apologized.

“What about Emori, then?” you pressed.

“She’s a good person, and she will understand. I just couldn’t live with myself if I left you again.”

“You mean that?” Murphy simply nodded, outstretching his fingers in your direction. Even though you couldn’t hold hands, the sentiment remained as you reflected his actions. You were two people trying to make your own light in the darkest of situations.

“I love you,” you managed to choke out, taking in the dried blood on his hairline and the bruises on his skin. His pant leg was ripped at the cuff and his hands were caked in dirt. You needed him to know that no matter what happened, now and forever, that he could carry this with him. Even after death, if fate so decided.

“I love you, too,” he said, without hesitation or a second thought. It was something he wished he had told you the night he decided to leave. The only thing he regretted once he left the compound.

But he had the chance to fix all of that. And in that moment, he swore that once you escaped, he would always be there to protect you. He would always console you and your wondering thoughts. He would love you the way that he should have a long time ago.

He promised he would always find a way to come back to you.

He promised he would never leave.

He promised.

**Hey, it's Lainey. Slightly embarrassing but I am back from the grave! I hope you all enjoy this and still love Murphy as much as I do <3

[yandere-ac]

Can I request parental Yandere! Tom with a young Y / N? Y/N has been on the island for a long time, and Tom is like their father figure. I'd like to see a scenario where Y / N meets Redd and due to their innocent and naive nature, wants to befriend him, meeting at night time just because Redd says it's better this way, probably not to alert Tom that he is there.I love how you write! Sorry for my bad English.

Yandere Parental Tom Nook X Child Reader

Little one

Tom had always considered himself good with children. It might have been because of all the late nights he spent up with Sable, taking care of Mable back when she was still very small. Even as a child, Tom swore to protect and help the ones who could not defend them self’s. It was a trait that, even though as he grew up became less and less prominent, was still a core instinct that he had. Sure, he’s the first to admit that he wasn’t exactly the most charming guy back in the day. Many seeing him as intimidating and mean. And yeah, Tom could see how people could have gotten that impression. Back then, he’d been so angry and lost. He was angry at the world. Angry at himself. Angry at...him...those where the days when he was hellbent on not letting anyone ever take advantage of him ever again. He’d locked up his heart and pushed everyone he loved away. But then...something quite peculiar happened.

It had been late at night. Tom was walking alone on the sidewalk, only the dim light of the tall streetlights illuminating his path. With hands in his pockets he picked up his pace. He wanted to get out of the city as quickly as possible. He had been spending some time with family and was currently going home. But to get to his flight he had to walk through the big city. Tom didn’t like the city, it brought back bad memories. He was pulled out of his thoughts as he heard the sounds of a loud crash coming from one of the alleyways nearby. What was that? Was someone hurt? Tom knew he shouldn’t...it would be dangerous and stupid. But he had to check to make sure nothing sketchy was going on. Looking back at it now. Tom was so happy, overjoyed that he decided to investigate. Approaching the alleyway he could see the silhouettes of two small creatures. And as he got closer he realised what the silhouettes were. They were two children, tanukis, looking no older than five cowering together, clutching onto each other like there was no tomorrow. They looked up at him, shaking from either the cold weather or because they were scared. Probably a mixture of the two. Tom made sure to stay completely still as he tried not to scare the two boys.

"Hello? Are you okay? Why on earth are you two out here alone?" He asked as he slowly crouched down so that he would be on the same level as the kids, still keeping his distance. Tom however did not get a response. Letting out a small sigh he tried to continue. "Can I at least get your names?" He said, making sure to keep his voice gentle. "We’re not supposed to talk to strangers mister..." one of the two said, clinging onto the other tighter. "Okay then. Hello there. My name is Tom Nook. Who are you?" Tom tried again. At this point the other one has stopped shaking and looked at Tom with more curiosity than fear. "We don’t have names mister." Tom felt his eyebrows furrow. These poor kids. "Why don’t you two come with me? It’s about to start raining and I don’t want you catching a cold." As he said this he extended his hand to the two. And carefully, the first one reached out his tiny paw to grab it. The other one was much more hesitant about the whole thing but after a quick glance at the first, he soon grabbed Toms hand. Tom led the two away to a hotel nearby where he bought a room.

That was the first significant change that led Tom to the road to redemption and recovery. After calling the police and telling them about the situation they had come to investigate with a social worker. After they had intervened and the social worker talked to the two and did confirm that the two children had no home or guardians. And even though it had only been maybe two days with the boys, Tom had grown very attached to them. And so, he offered to adopt the two. And after settling the whole thing in court, Tom was able to happily bring two small tanukis home. Of course the final decision was left up to the kids. But lucky for Tom, they too had grown attached to him and agreed to the adoption. Tom gave them the names Timothy and Thomas, Timmy and Tommy for short. And rest assured, the boys were gonna have a good life, Tom swore of it. But that, like stated before, was only the beginning.

A year later, was the second significant change that Tom went through. That year, a new villager moved in to his town. A boy with Brown hair and a red shirt. And what a mess he was. After having bought a house from Tom, he didn’t have close to the amount of bells that he needed to pay off the house loan. In fact, he only had 1000 bells in his pockets. Seeing this was almost humorous to Tom. How can you move into a new home WITHOUT bringing more than at least 30 000 bells. And yet. Something about the boy. It almost reminded him of how he used to be back when he first moved to the city. Now, he had enough common sense to bring with him more than just a few bells. But he’d still make PLENTY of screw ups and stupid decisions. And in a way, he’d wished that he had a person to help him during that time. Someone to be kind enough to extend their hand and give him assistance. Maybe if someone had, things would have turned out differently. Who know what could happen to this villager, if he’s stupid enough to not bring enough currency, then he’d sure be stupid enough to be tricked or manipulated. Tom couldn’t knowingly let that happen, especially if he could prevent it.

And so. Tom offered him a job at Nooks cranny. Just to teach him some responsibility and give him a chance to pay off his loans. But even after he paid them off, he still took some time to visit Tom every once and again. He brought a sort of warmth and life to the town. He interacted with all the other villagers and made sure to fix it up a little as well. Although very silent and kind of strange, Tom grew a certain fondness of the boy. But ultimately, it didn’t matter what he though of him. Because one day, he never showed up. Tom just assumed that he had been sick or just tired. But after a week and not a sound from him, people started to get worried. They searched his house but he wasn’t there. And that weeks turned into months, which turned into years. Tom still worried what had happened to him. But he tried not to think about it. The thought unnerved him. He couldn’t have moved out because his house still remained in the village. But, ultimately. It really didn’t matter. He was gone, and Tom had to move on.

That was years ago. During that time, human after human moved into the town. And they were all just as incompetent. Tom had started to wonder if it was a human thing. But Isabelle had been quick to insist that he help them. And he did. He always tried to teach them how to survive and make money. All while giving them a roof over their heads. He couldn’t just let them wander around without a home, they had to live somewhere. He didn’t set any dates as to when their debts had to be paid either. They could pay him off whenever they wanted. He didn’t want to cause them any stress. And just like always, he got attached to the humans, and just like always, they all eventually left him with no explanation. He didn’t understand why or how. But it was simply just how it went. But no matter how many times it happened, he never got used to it. It was always so hard to accept the fact that the human that was usually eagerly running around had left them. Had left HIM. He felt oddly protective over them all, they were like his children, his small, gullible, human children. So when he met you, that was when his instincts really went into overdrive.

He remembered it clear as day. Timmy and Tommy had ran up to him with the three residents behind him. Immediately he noticed something was odd about one of them. One of them was a human, more than that, the human looked much shorter than any other human he’d ever met. And he’s met a lot of humans in his life, a privilege which very few get. At first he thought the human, you, was just short. But as soon as he heard you speak it became clear to him. You weren’t just short, you were much younger than any of the humans he’d ever seen before. You were a child. Tom started to wonder why someone as young as you was all the way out here. Were your parents gonna come on a later plane? No, no that couldn’t be it. There where no other planes booked to the island. Maybe you were a child to one of the other residents? Interspecies adoption has recently been legalised so that could be it. Yes. That’s probably it. But that theory popped once he gave out the tents and you asked for your very own. Wouldn’t you be sleeping with your guardian? For a moment Tom panicked. What if you were just a very small human and he has misunderstood your age. So he asked you. And to his relief and confusion you answered with "ten". Didn’t you have parents? Why were you out here alone, he needed to know if he should contact somebody. So while everyone else went about looking for a place to put their tents, Tom took you aside to ask you a couple of questions.

As it turns out, you had come here completely alone. Without parents or anything. You had handed him a letter from your mother, she was the one that sent you here with the little bells she had left, because she couldn’t take care of you and hoped that an adult on the island could handle you. When Tom read the letter he felt conflicted, he felt bad for you and your mother but he also thought the action of sending away your child to a deserted island was pretty irresponsible. But whatever he thought of the situation didn’t matter, because you were here and he couldn’t exactly kick you off or anything. He was sure that you would manage life here on the island, there was lots of things to do and food was also easy to come by. So, he’d have to make sure you were comfortable here on the island. He had given you your own tent and even payed the loans that came with it.

And you were the tipping point, you were the thing that turned his redemption into something much, much more twisted.

It had started small, with him feeling a kind of protectiveness over you. He figured it was since you were both a human and a kid. This feeling, it was much stronger than any of the instincts he felt about his previous humans, it was about as strong as how he felt for Timmy and Tommy. He just wanted to scoop you up and carry you away from all your troubles. He helped you fix up your tent and when you asked if you could upgrade it, he’d offer to pay for those house depts as well. But you had refused, saying that you wanted to pay for it yourself. It seems your mother had taught you plenty about responsibility and how to take care of yourself, which came a bit as a shock for Tom. Most of not all of his previous humans had been pretty clueless about things like this, so to see a child being more mature than them was almost a bit funny. But he knew deep down that your maturity probably stemmed from having to take care of yourself without any help. And there was nothing funny about that. Surprisingly, you handled your situation very well, you picked up weeds, planted trees, fished and caught bugs which you sold to Timmy and Tommy. All to pay for said loans. And when Tom told you about his plan to get K.K. Slider to perform at the island, you put your incredible work ethic to the max. Everyday, he could see you running around the island, planting flowers and placing furniture. It came out very good considering your age and soon enough the island got a three star rating. It baffled Tom beyond belief that you were able to do all of this. Especially at your young age. He made sure to give you credit for all the good you contributed and even made sure you got the front seat when the concert began.

And that brings us to today. You had been running around the island, collecting sea shells and fruit. Anytime you ran past one of your fellow villagers you made sure to greet them and talk with them for a while. And when you did so, one of them told you about seeing a shady boat by the hidden beach. The hidden beach. You liked going there, it was a nice place where you could just relax, far away from everyone else. So hearing that there was some boat there, it’s sparked your curiosity to say the least. Where did it come from? Who was at the boat? Why were they here? You just had to go see!

So that’s what you did. As you made your way to the beach you were stopped by none other than Tom Nook himself. He was outside of the plaza with Timmy and Tommy when the boys had their break. He gave you a smile as you stopped and turned to him. "Ah if it isn’t Y/N! Why don’t you come and join me, Timmy and Tommy to our picnic. We were just about to head there." He asked, Timmy and Tommy looking at you with hopeful eyes. "Yeah Y/N! Will you? Will you?" You had to stop to think before making your decision. "Sorry but I can’t. I’ve gotta go do something!" You said. "Alright then, but if you change your mind you know where to find us." Tom said as he walked away with the two boys. You ran all the way to the secret beach and sure enough, there was a boat stationed right there on the beach. As you made your way to it, you started to feel a little hesitant about going in. What if this person was dangerous? But you’ve already come this far, so you might as well try. And so, you took a deep breath, and opened the curtains to go inside.

Dark, that was the main word that popped into your mind as you walked down the metal stairs that descended into the boats cabin. As you reached the bottom and looked around the room a strange sort of dread filled your stomach. The room was darkly lit, only a select few lights illuminating what seemed to be paintings and statues that stood on small wooden podiums. Your curiosity started bubbling as you approached the paintings. You silently admired the art, but your moment of calm was soon ended when you heard a loud creak come from the far right side of the boat. Turning around swiftly you saw the source of sound. It was a big metal door, there was an orange fox exiting the door when he suddenly froze up. His eyes met yours, and for a moment the two of you just stared at each other. As he eyes you up and down you could only look at him with big wondering eyes. You’ve never met a fox in real life before, so this was certainly an experience. The silence finally broke when he spoke up.

"Umm...Hello and welcome aboard Jolly Redds treasure trawler!" There was a bit of uncertainty in his voice, like he wasn’t sure if what he was seeing was real. "Hello mister! I’m Y/N, what’s your name?" You asked him, a smile making its way onto your face. "The names Jolly Redd, as the name of my boat would imply." As he introduced himself to you he gave you a mischievous smirk. He seemed to drop any uncertainty and suspicion as he looked at you. "Say, were you checking out my paintings just now?" He asked you while walking closer. "Oh yes! I think they look really beautiful!" You answered enthusiastically, bouncing up and down slightly as you clasped your small hands together. "Ohoho, why thank you. I made them myself you see." Once Redd told you this, you let out a gasp of both surprise and delight. "Wow! For real? I have to tell Mr. Nook and aunt Isabelle about this!" All of the previous pride and confidence that Redd felt disappeared the moment you mentioned "Mr. Nook". He couldn’t let Tom find out he was here. Especially when he’s talking to a human child. Redd knows about Toms protective nature when it comes to humans and children, so the thought of what he might do if he found him near a HUMAN CHILD, it’s scared him. "A-ah! Let’s NOT tell Mr. Nook or Aunt Isabelle. I’m actually a uhh..." think Redd, think! "...secret artist! Yeah! A secret artist! We don’t like to be seen or talked about. So could you do me a favour and not tell anyone about me kid?" Redd said. You however, not knowing he was bluffing, let out yet another gasp and nodded your head vigorously. "Of course mister! I’ll never tell anyone I promise!" Redd let out a laugh as he saw your enthusiasm. He liked you, he wasn’t usually fond of children. But you, something about you was different. You were cute but not to the point of being annoying. Maybe he’d stay here for a little while.

"I like you kid, you’ve got good taste. Us art lovers gotta stick together ya’know. So how about this, can you meet me here again tomorrow at night? It’s a lot easier for me that time." The question made you unsure. You’ve been told not to trust strangers, but he seemed so nice. He seemed trustworthy enough. You didn’t see any reason why you wouldn’t be able to trust him. "Okay, I’ll do it."

And that was that. Every night you would sneak out of your house and visit Redd. He would show you his paintings and such, he’d even let you paint on a separate paper while he was doing his work on his forgeries. The only drawback of this was just how tired you got later during the day. It was starting to get more and more apparent to everyone else on the island, especially to Tom. He had asked you time and time again if you had trouble sleeping, but every time he’d bring it up you would get really quiet and assure him it was nothing. One time when he was out for a stroll he found you, sleeping on a bed of flowers. He picked you up and carried you to your house to put you to bed. As he tucked you into bed he let out a worried sigh, what was going on with you? But right as he walked out he caught a glimpse of something that made him stop dead in his tracks. He quickly rushed to the little desk you had in your room and looked at what laid upon it, it was a drawing. A drawing of you and an orange fox. The drawing was labelled "Me and Redd!" with green crayon. He knew something was up. But he hadn’t expected it to be this bad.

It was late at night and you were on your way to Redds boat. Unbeknownst to you, you had someone following you. As you skipped down to the secret beach you called out for Redd. And a few seconds later, Redd came out of the boat and greeted you with a hug. "Hello there my little artist. Are you ready to have some fun?" He asked as he grabbed your hand and pulled you inside. "Yes! I’m ready!" You two sat down and started to paint. You told him about everything that was happening on the island, letting out a tired yawn every once in a while. As you blabbered away Redd was in deep thought, he knew he couldn’t stay here for much longer. Every day that he was here was another day that Tom could find him, and he sure as hell didn’t want that to happen. But he didn’t want to leave you, your kindness and excitement brought him some kind of joy when he would usually be completely alone. He needed a distraction other than painting and sculpturing, something that would drown out all of the persistent thoughts of hate that he felt each day. But he couldn’t just take you...could he?

"Hey, cousin? Do you like your life here?" He said out of nowhere, interrupting your ramblings. "Huh? Yeah of course. I’ve got friends and family that cares for me. I love it here." Damn it. How would he convince you if you had that attitude. "Aha...but doesn’t it get boring? You know, doing the same thing every day? When was the last time you had some excitement in your life!" Redd put down his brush and turned to you, facing you completely. "I...well..." you truly didn’t have an answer to that, sure island living wasn’t exactly the most heart pounding life but it wasn’t really supposed to be. It was supposed to be a relaxing life, without any stress or worries. "Wouldn’t you rather just get out there on the sea? With me! We could be a team! A crew! I could be the captain and you could be my second mate. Think about it Y/N!" Redd got more and more intense as he tried to convince you, but your face was far from happy or excited. It was filled with uncertainty and discomfort. "N-No I think I’ll pass. I would much rather just stay here." The fox’s expression turned from a smile into an annoyed frown. "If you don’t come with me you’ll never see me again! Do you want that Y/N?! Do you want to learn how to paint on your own? Do you want to loose out on the best teacher and friend you could’ve ever gotten?!" You didn’t give him a response, slowly backing away from him, trying to get to the stairs. But Redd saw what you were doing. "Oh no you don’t!" He rushed towards you and picked you up rather violently, you started to thrash and scream in his grasp, trying everything to get out. But suddenly you were dropped onto the floor. As you looked up in horror you saw Tom Nook hunching over you. He had his claws out and were growling at Redd. As he looked down at you his eyes softened and he motioned for you to run out, you got the message clear and ran. You ran out, sprinting for dear life in order to get to a hiding spot. Your house!

It had been about 10 minutes since you ran from the boat. You were hiding under your bed, trying to calm yourself down as the tears dropped down your face. You could feel your heart stop as you heard the door to your house opening. But you felt a huge wave of relief wash over you when you heard Toms voice call out for you. "Y/N? Where are you? It’s okay. He’s gone." You rushed out from your bed and ran downstairs to the living room. As you saw Tom stand by the end of the stairs you practically threw yourself onto him. "TOM!" Wrapping your arms around him, you started sobbing. You thought something had happened to him. You could barely form any words as tears got caught in your throat, this has been a stressful night to say the least.

"Shh shh...it’s okay...I’ve got you. I’ve got you. He can’t hurt you now, I promise." You cried onto his shoulder while he comforted you. "Do you feel comfortable sleeping alone or would you like to sleep with me, Timmy and Tommy?" You nodded your head as you climbed onto him. He only let out a small sigh as he carried you away to his house. What a mess. He wished he’d have known sooner, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened. But no matter, what was done was done. He could only focus on the future.

And he swore to protect you, no matter what he had to do.

[fistsandfangs]

i'm really intrigued by your s6 spuffy thoughts can you talk more about what you mentioned in your tags???

lol yeah i really lost my entire mind in the tags oops

but sure, i'm happy to talk more about it. it's the one hang up i have about the show that i still have yet to make peace with and honestly don't think i ever will. i really respect now as i've gotten older how characters challenge us to think from new perspectives, and buffy has always been a character that challenges me in a few specific areas. when it comes to buffy and spike, i'm immediately predisposed to empathize with spike when i comes to the way he's treated regarding his feelings because i'm very much a heart-on-my-sleeve, all in person with love myself, and so it's a really hard thing for me to consume something so personally difficult in media i enjoy. i also feel like i need to preface this by saying that at the root of all my thoughts about what their s6 arc is, i believe they are both in the wrong in certain aspects. i'm not saying that spike has done nothing wrong and buffy is the one making all the bad choices and saying all the bad things.

so, with all that said--

the best way i can think to pinpoint why i'm really bothered by buffy's part in their issues can be summed up in the scene in entropy (?) where buffy accuses spike of spying on her on the grounds that she believes that's well within his character to violate her privacy and life like that, and with all the things she lists that he does (lie, cheat, steal, manipulate), he says "i don't hurt you." that interaction really highlights how the power dynamic is really fucked up and skewed for buffy to use to take advantage of. she knows that spike loves her (and though she's really resistant to acknowledging he really does love her, she believes that he believes that he loves her) and has repeatedly acknowledged outright and acted on the fact that he wants to spare her pain in any way that he can. he wants to protect her from getting hurt and if he can't, he wants to comfort her and try to make it better. granted, sometimes his solutions aren't conducive for her, but the intention (which is really important!!) is always to help her and support her.

with this in mind, i think that is why i have such a hard time with s6 buffy. i've yet to get to a point where i can feel comfortable watching her relationship with spike in this season because of how tremendously cruel she is. i understand that she's in serious pain and she feels horrified at herself for wanting to engage in this dark twisted thing with him, but at its heart, i feel like the thing that makes it dark and twisted, given that she knows that he loves her and that sex with him means something, is that she has backed him into a corner by setting a boundary of "i can only accept this so long as it hurts us". as soon as she starts facing her feelings, she can't bear to let him in anymore. we see at the start of s6 that the dynamic between them is something very sweet and gentle and kind. spike is careful and kind and supportive of her as she tries to feel out how to live in the world again. he's understanding of her circumstances (empathizing with the pain and trauma of having to claw your way out of your grave), he kept his promise to care for dawn without any thought of reward (and continues to from then on out), she admits that when she wants to be alone, she still feels most at peace when she's alone with him, and she seeks his input and advice on how to try to figure out the things that she feels like she's way over her head about ("so what do you know about finances?").

people are fallible and characters aren't meant to be perfect, and i believe that's really how writing should be, but this is something i feel like is much more complex than just a flawed character in the throes of an extended major depressive episode. we don't really see any genuine remorse from her directed at spike for how she has treated him even when she admits her disgust with herself for how she was taking advantage of him. when we see buffy fall apart to tara in devastation at the person she's become, i feel like what we're seeing is just an overwhelming amount of self-hatred at what she sees when she looks at herself. it feels like very...self-focused shame, like people who are disgusted at the realization that someone sees and classifies them as a bad person. we recoil from that moniker because we know it's wrong, and that's what we see in buffy. she hates that she's "a bad person", but what feels really lacking for me is the self-awareness to then turn that self-focused shame into a more... i don't know, i hate to call it this, but altruistic shame at the way she has been hurting spike purposefully. taking responsibility for her cruelty i feel like should have looked like her bearing the burden of her shame about her actions, accepting the discomfort of having to humble herself and hold it and say 'yeah, this is mine.' all throughout s6 in particular, spike is consistently the bad guy in every equation when it comes to his relationship with buffy, and that has always felt wrong to me, like a huge disservice to the story and his character. is he a bad guy broadly speaking? yeah, he's more villain than hero for sure. but is he the bad guy in their relationship? i'd argue no, he's not, and we never really get catharsis for that!!

especially with spike having his soul in s7, the tumultuous and abusive dynamic of their relationship in the previous season is treated as something they can just look back at and say "oh well we can move on now and be good and okay because we're never going back there again" even though buffy never apologizes to him for what she did to him and acknowledges it was wrong by taking that responsibility. it's always framed as buffy's stance being "sex is bad and dirty, and engaging in "dark" sex with you was bad so we'll never do it again." i tried to hunt it down and couldn't find it, but @chasingfictions made an amazing post that really struck me, talking about how, while the idea of the soul being a determination of good and a lack of soul being a determination of evil is a bit too simplistic and unsatisfying in the debate of good vs evil, spike's pursuit of a soul and actually getting it all on his own so that he could be a better man to the woman he loves and the world she risks her life every day to protect is so powerful and beautiful. the fact that in the show's canon, no one that becomes soulless has ever sought out getting their soul back, and no only does he get it back, he wins it back!! he fought to have it as a step towards being better, and that intention of choosing to be better means so fucking much! and he made that choice to take an action of good without the soul in question, after having, on many occasions, acted contrary to his nature to be better.

the writing leads us to a point where we support spike's pursuit of redemption and are moved by it, but to me, i think buffy should have been driven to seek her own redemption too. without it, i personally feel a very pervasive sense that catharsis for everything they went through in s6 was never really achieved.

in conclusion (lmao)... everyone interprets text/subtext differently, and that's absolutely okay, so i'm not saying that this is the only right interpretation of things! but for me, after spending a really long time trying to reconcile this discomfort i feel with buffy's character and not being able to get there, this is where i've landed.

[mlwritingprompts]

Submitted Prompt: So? It Happens All The Time

Marinette salt, with the start of redemption.

An AU where Lila doesn't convienently drop off the face of the planet by locking herself in her dark bedroom for months on end to avoid being humiliated by her classmates-- She becomes a full-time student immediately after the events of Volpina.

Marinette never tells Lila that she knows she's lying, and there are no threats from either side. 

-

Steaming as Lila spends all day in class spinning tall tales for the eager ears of her classmates, Marinette is determined to show Lila for the Liar she is once and for all, and make it so that she never gets in the way of Marinette's relationship with Adrien ever again!

Stomping her way home alone ( Alya had refused to walk with her when Marinette told her angrily that Alya was a bad reporter for not fact-checking Lila's claims of friendship with Ladybug first before posting it on her tumblr,) Marinette is plotting ways she can discredit Lila in front of the entire class... and realizes there's a very easy solution to her problems.

(And no, Marinette doesn't even think of putting in a less-hostile appearance as Ladybug so Alya actually has a chance to ask questions and confirm what Lila told her; Marinette doesn't consider that no one else in the class has the whole story, all she can think is that she is right and they should support her 100% despite everything she's done to undermine their trust in her)

"I know what I'll do! I'll call Jagged Stone, and ask him if he knows Lila!" Marinette exclaims to Tikki when they inside. Tikki just shrugs helplessly in the face of Marinette's determination, having spent most of the walk home trying to talk Marinette through her jealous hatred of Lila into something a little less ready to jump the gun.

Racing up to her bedroom, Marinette dials Penny Rolling's number and soon enough, Jagged Stone himself is on the line. 

But when Marinette gets his response after she explains the situation, it's not what she was expecting.

Suing Lila for everything she owns on the basis of libel? That's what she was expecting.

Publicly humiliating Lila at a special concert held to set the record straight for his favorite album designer? That's what she was expecting.

Complete and utter dismissal? Completely unexpected!

"Pft, hah! Yeah, that happens all the time, I don't mind. Plenty of adults do the same thing, you know. Anyways, don't sweat it. She just sounds like she's lonely, moves around a lot and doesn't stick around long enough to make friends, so she's lying to look cool before she moves again. Has she ever said anything mean, or lied about anything that could put people in danger? Has she ever threatened you or anything?"

And Marinette has to grudgingly admit, "No, she hasn't threatened me or hurt anyone--but!" She hastily tacks on, trying to earn Jagged's support again, "She's lied about being friends with Ladybug!"

She expects boiling rage and condemnation powerful enough to cow anyone who stood in the way of his retribution--

Instead, Jagged replies thoughtfully, "Well, if you're sure she's lying about it, that could be a problem."

Marinette think's she's finally won-- until Jagged Stone immediately follows that up with:

"If she's claiming to be best friends with Ladybug, that could put her in danger from Hawkmoth. He might start targeting her, or hold her hostage to draw Ladybug out. That could be really dangerous for anyone to say, let alone a young girl who is the daughter of a foreign dignitary. Hawkmoth could kidnap her and put her mother in a very precarious position..." By now, Jagged Stone sounds more like he's thinking out loud than talking to Marinette directly, but Marinette feels cold as his words sweep over her. 

Because Marinette never even considered that line of thought.

All Marinette could think about was how Lila was trying to impress Adrien with lies, Marinette had never even considered the danger Lila was putting herself in by spinning that particular tale. 

Marinette transformed into Ladybug and publicly humiliated Lila in front of her crush, and...

Would Marinette have done the same if anyone else had spun that lie to anyone else?

Would Marinette have stormed up to a girl and yelled at her enough to make her cry because she was lying to another student about being friends with a super hero, or would Marinette have taken any other person aside and told them they didn't need to lie to make friends, and that they shouldn't lie about being friends with her because they would be putting themselves in danger of having Hawkmoth target them? 

Would Marinette have been so cruel if Lila had been talking to anyone other than Adrien? 

She didn't think so, and that thought made her heart sink; was she really so obsessed, so controlling of who Adrien could interact with, that she would drive a girl to tears just so she could humiliate her and drive her away from Marinette's crush? 

Tikki, sitting on the desk and watching Marinette's phone call, nodded in somber agreement with Jagged Stone's words. 

Somehow, Marinette managed to politely end the call with Jagged Stone, even while her head was in a daze of horror at her thoughtless, cruel, obsessive actions. 

Looking back over her actions with a new clarity, Marinette couldn't fault Lila for not forgiving Ladybug.

"Oh Tikki, what have I done?" Marinette finally moaned in despair, burying her head in her hands.

Tikki patted her on the shoulder. "You messed up, but now that you know where you went wrong, you can try to make it right." Tikki advised.

In the end, that was all you could do. 

Lila didn't owe Ladybug forgiveness, but that doesn't mean Marinette couldn't try to make it up to her. 

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