#(and these are like serious earplugs that have gotten me through loud events before)

[dan-sing-in-the-rain]

I went to TIT tonight! Unfortunately I am so not in the place to be able to handle something like that, but they are cool and I am glad I at least tried something new by going.

(rambles in the tags, no tit spoilers though)

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

Merch - Brendon Urie x Reader

Request: Could you do a brendon x reader plz

Word count: 1 681

Loud music sounded from the hall into the part of the venue where beverages and merchandise was sold. It was a small venue, this one, and seemed to host other event often too. You leant back against the table behind you, where loads of shirts, all either black or white, were stacked up to heaps. While the main band was playing, there were only very few people trying to buy merchandise and since you worked for the opening band, there were fewer people buying stuff anyway. You ran your hand through your hair, pondering on whether you should put in some earplugs while no one was trying to talk to you but you decided against it.

From the hall inside you could hear fans scream loudly for the band to perform the next song. Suddenly the noise got louder. Someone must have come through the door. A second later the noise was a little more muffled again. Your eyes darted over to the bar. It was a hot summer night, and the people were heating up the building as well. You considered if it would be acceptable to quickly get yourself something to drink to refill your exhausted water balance, but in that moment someone stepped close to the table.

It was Brendon, one of the roadies who helped the main band with the tour. You had liked him from the first moment on. He had offered the opening band his help with loading and unpacking their things and every evening, while the band was playing, he came to check up on you. Usually he made a few jokes and you talked a little, sometimes he got you something to drink or even looked after the stand when you had to use the bathroom.

“Good evening,” he greeted, hopping up to sit on a bit of empty space on the table in front of you that acted as a counter.

“Look at what the cat dragged in,” you mocked, a wide grin on your face.

The comment earned a groan from Brendon, then he turned his head and grinned back.

“It’s something very special, ‘cause someone like me can’t just be found on any street,” he wittily responded.

You rolled your eyes but laughed.

“How’ve you been? How’s the venue,” you asked.

“Pretty good,” he answered both of your questions at once, “no complications so far.”

That was good. Sometimes the venues did not have enough space for everyone, or there was no bathroom for the crew and bands, or there were not enough speakers or god knows what. Usually you did not hear about problems until Brendon told you about them, because they were mainly irrelevant to you. Except for that one time where the venue had no tables to use as a counter for the merchandise sell. But luckily enough the guys who sold the main band’s merch, had organized some tables from a bar down the street, however they had managed that, and had gotten one for you as well.

“How’s your evening so far,” Brendon asked curiously and turned a little more towards you.

“Uneventful really, but-“ you made a small pause for dramatic effect, “I already sold more shirts today then over whole evening yesterday!”

“The people here just appreciate your good looks better,” Brendon immediately answered.

You felt a blush creep into your cheeks, but answered anyway, well knowing that the little red tinge in your face had not escaped Brendon’s notice.

“I thought people bought merchandise because of the band and not the sales person,” you shot back, making him laugh.

“Well, if I’d go to a concert and the person selling merch would be as cute as you, I’d buy lots of shirts, no matter how crappy the band is,” he winked at you.

“Then why don’t you,” you asked, leaning forwards a little.

He furrowed his brows and reached into his pockets.

“Well, I guess I’m all out of mone- oh no, wait,” he pulled a little piece of wire out of one of his pockets. “Well, I got no money,” he stated, his fingers carefully bending the wire a little and fumbling around with it, “but maybe I can instead gain my main goal and seduce the sales person in the meantime.”

He had spoken slowly and when he was finished, he held up a little ring that he had formed out of the wire. You felt another blush creep into your cheeks but you pretended not to notice.

“Nice try, Brendon,” you told him mockingly.

“Whaaat,” he complained, earning a few glances from the men at the other merch stand, “I’m serious about that!”

“Yeah, whatever,” you laughed shaking your head.

Brendon was silly and cute, and you knew that you were the only one who got his attention like that. And he was the only one you would allow to say these silly things to you. The whole tour crew and all members of the two bands knew that the two of you were head over heels for each other and had secret bets running on how long it would take the two of you to figure out that your feelings were not one sided. But of course neither Brendon nor you knew about that, so you kept flirting shamelessly, wondering if the other flirted back for fun or because they were serious as well.

Brendon shook his head and twisted the little ring in his hand, staring at it for a while.

“I’m thirsty, you wanna drink something too,” he asked suddenly, pocketing the ring.

“That’d be fantastic, you can read thoughts,” you smiled and he got up from his place on the table to walk over to the bar.

You saw him motioning over to you, explaining to the bar tender that he was buying drinks for two crew members and you waved over to the now nodding man, to signal you belonged with Brendon. A few moments later Brendon came back carrying two plastic cups with dark, bubbling liquid.

“Coke for you and Coke for me,” he said, handing you one of the cups.

You thanked him and quickly took a few big gulpes of the cool and refreshing, but terribly sweet drink. For a while you were standing by the booth in silence, Brendon sitting on the table again and you still leaning against the heaps of shirts. From inside the hall the loud music was pumping through the building and you realized that you were three quarters through the main set. You sighed deeply, realizing that soon you would have passed the two months mark on tour, leaving only another two months before you would have to say good bye to Brendon. Sure, two months seemed a lot, but on tour time passed quicker and often one week seemed to be less than an evening.

Brendon had picked up on your sigh and turned to you, his eyebrows raised.

“You okay,” he wondered and you nodded.

“Just wondering how fast time seems to pass on tour,” you explained.

He nodded as well, thoughtfully, and took a sip of his drink.

“You know, you should try on the ring though, now that I’ve gone through the effort of making it,” he suddenly said.

You knew he was trying to distract you, and you appreciated it. It would be stupid to spend the time worrying about a possibly dark future if you could have fun instead. The future would come fast enough.

“Okay,” you agreed with a little smile, reaching out your hand for Brendon to give you the ring.

But instead he grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to him, away from where your back had rested against the shirts and so close to him that you were only separated by the table he was sitting on. With his other hand he grabbed the ring out of his pocket and slowly turned it between his fingers a few times before he carefully took your hand and slid the ring onto your ring finger. Only now you realized that he had somehow formed an almost perfect circle with his bare hands, the ends where the wire met were twisted up a few times, resembling a little stone or decorative element on the ring.

For a moment you both looked at your hand with the magically perfectly fitting ring.

“I guess were engaged now,” you joked, lifting your hand out of Brendon’s.

You took a moment to look at the little metal construct, thinking Brendon was doing the same, but you were surprised a moment later by his soft lips connecting to yours with a lingering kiss. He was not pressing very close, giving you enough opportunity to back away, to break the kiss, to tell him off and reject him, but much to his relief you were doing nothing of that sort and instead kissed him back carefully, as if you were afraid he would run away, even though he had initiated this. When a few seconds later your mouths were still connected, he lifted one of his hands to you neck and pulled you a little closer, causing you to lean over the table. He slowly deepened the kiss, both your hearts racing a thousand miles an hour. He tasted a little like the sweet Coke he had been drinking and his short stubble was scratchy against your skin, but you loved every second of it.

When he pulled back, he gently ran his fingers down your neck and leant his forehead against yours. In that moment, a whistle came from the door to the hall.

“Luke, you owe me ten bucks,” one of the opening band’s members cheered, “I told you they’d get together during the first half of tour!”

Brendon tried to lean up, turning his head to the joking med, but you quickly placed a hand at the side of his head and turned him back to face you, sealing his lips in another sweet kiss, the sound of the cheering band members drowning out in the music from the hall.

[rkseokwoo-blog]

&: a belated birthday gift.

after training / august 11, 2018!

four days.

those were the number of days that have passed since seokwoo’s birthday and as one of his longtime friends, it is expected that someone like sowon would even know about such an event. but as minutes turned into hours followed by days, the woman could already imagine the reaction the other would have.

“how could sojungie forget my birthday? she never forgets that!”

and in her mind, she believes that seokwoo is right. how could kim sojung, his friend since high school, forget about one of the most special days in the man’s life?

the answer to that question is in fact, rather simple.

she never did forget his birthday.

in actuality, she remembers it clearly (and thanks to technology, there was a nifty feature called notifications that would aid her in remembering everyone’s birthdays). yet due to the hectic schedule that every trc had to abide to along with her fluctuating creativity flow, she is in a slump over his gift. she contemplates on her choices (especially her go-to option of giving chocolate) but none of them seemed to be a gift that would encapsulate all of the years that she has known him.

that is until she thinks of an idea — one that meant meeting at his place after practice. before arriving to the apartment, sowon calls the other before she is met with the voicemail. in the call, she says out loud while staring at the view in front of her, “hey, can we talk? i’ll meet you at your place in the next twenty minutes.” the tone in her voice is serious, almost as if what they are about to discuss is something important.

when she arrives at her destination point, sowon carries the bag before placing it on the couch nearby. there are so many words that she wants to say to the other — but first and foremost, she takes the opportunity to sit down next to her bag and tell him, “sorry that i asked this all of a sudden. i was—” sowon stops abruptly as she realizes that she had not even thought of a good reason why she wanted to meet up with him or what they were supposed to talk about. “…was thinking that we could talk…about this song i was working on.” she continues the rest of the sentence, but sowon lacked the ability to act and think quickly without making seokwoo suspicious. taking her phone out of her pocket, she looks through her songs and in her mind, she is in a state of panic — she did not have this planned out and her nervousness begins to escalate as she fumbles to get the earphones inside her pocket.

biting her bottom lip, she pretends to be calm as she hands him one side of the earplug while plugging the wire onto her phone. with the other earplug in her hand, she places it on her ear so that she could be able to hear what is going on. shortly afterwards, she taps the touch screen, which plays a short section (0:00-1:13) of the instrumental she was working on (and coincidentally, it happened to be the same song that she wanted to give to the other if it wasn’t for the terrible creative block). rather than focusing on the instrumental that is being played, her focus is on him. her mind is filled with thoughts over what she should tell him or how she was going to tell him that the chocolate cupcakes she had baked earlier that morning were inside her bag. but aside from those thoughts was a particular one that causes her to remind of the incident that had happened recently — the time when he held onto her hand. while some would think that such a moment is rather brief and can be easily forgotten, for her it still lingers in her mind — questions over why certain thoughts and emotions would arise whenever she recalls the said incident. however, out of all of those questions and thoughts that fill her mind and keep her distracted from the present moment, there is one that affects her the most.

did she really see him as a friend and a friend only?

yet as much as she wishes that she could come to some singular conclusion, the music stops. she snaps herself out of her own thoughts as she realizes what is currently going on and after blinking her eyes, she instantly touches seokwoo’s hand as her way to stop him from whatever he plans to say or do. in her mind, time is ticking faster than what is actually happening, which is why she leans closer — almost as if she is closing the empty gap between the two of them as she stares at him. her heart palpitates as she feels the strong urge to do something or to even say anything to the man (but she really did hope nothing stupid would come out of her lips).

“i…” her eyes shifts for a brief moment to the ear that has the ear plug and as she drops her hand and hovers it over to where the ear plug is, she remains still. she gazes into his eyes before she leaves a chaste kiss on his lips. what felt like a few minutes actually turned out to be seconds as sowon moves her head back to end the kiss. immediately thinking about the ear plug, she takes it away from him as she reminds herself that what she had done was an impulsive and careless move (and definitely one she didn’t plan whatsoever).

in an attempt to act as nonchalant as possible (a difficult challenge despite the ever so calm sowon), she holds onto the earphones while turning her attention towards her bag. “i honestly wanted to wish you a happy birthday. things got…well, messy in trc as of late and i really wanted to celebrate your birthday but you know trc’s schedule. i don’t leave that place until past midnight.” the woman knows that if she continues to keep talking, she would be rambling and right now, there were other things to worry about besides why she didn’t greet him a happy birthday. with her other hand on the zipper of her bag, she unzips it and takes out a small box containing a few of the chocolate cupcakes she had baked. offering the box to him (while hoping he had forgotten what had happened seconds ago), she smiles, “happy belated birthday, seokwoo. sorry that i didn’t greet you on your actual birthday. i hope you can forgive me for that.”

Four days. Did birthdays stop happening when one turned twenty-four? 

Seokwoo had begun to wonder that, even when his grandmother had made him the cake on the day, fed him seaweed soup, and given him a gift. Even when his sister had come home to have dinner with them and produced her own gift. Even when the messages came through and people wished him well – Seokwoo couldn’t stop the doubts. Sowon hadn’t sent him one message, no gifts or surprises. Nothing. For four days! He was trying his best not to sulk, it was simply difficult not to let his shoulders slump every time he got a message and it wasn’t from her. An agitated crinkle formed in his nose when spam came through and then the phone phishing scheme. If he told her that she forgot, it would mean she had and she couldn’t remember it herself.

Somehow that mattered. Whether Sowon remembered his birthday on her own or not, mattered.

He’d been on his way home from training when he’d missed the call, unable to stop himself coming up with stories of how she’d gotten the date wrong, she was trying to play a trick on him, she was testing him in some shape or form. Anything was better than she forgot. But with the short request to talk, there was no ‘Happy Birthday Seokwoo! Did you think I’d forget?��� or hinted edges of something more. It made him more nervous than anything when he’d listened to the voicemail. His gaze flickering over the passenger seat where she had sat recently, where she had held the box of chocolates in her lap, rambling on about how she felt – and how he’d taken her hand.

( Her fingers had been soft, warm, residing between his own. He’d thought about it on and off since, tried to ignore how he anticipated some reason to text her and was disappointed when a day passed with no reason to see her. She was his friend, she was. Happiness was meant to come from seeing his friends. Seokwoo was convincing himself of that. )

( sms » miss. florist ) → ㅋㅋ ofc we can talk. sorry i missed your call!  i was driving!

The small moment replayed over and over in his head, panic twisting in his heart as he wondered if that was what she wanted to talk about, if that was why she forgot his birthday or was pretending she had. A weight grew on his shoulders until he was sitting in the lounge room of the apartment alone, his grandmother gone to dinner with her friends and he fiddled with the remote control while he waited for Sowon to arrive. Explanations building up for how they could hold hands, how they hadn’t been holding hands, how it hadn’t meant anything – each one crinkled in his nose more as he thought about it. He didn’t want to take his actions back, but he didn’t want Sowon mad at him either.

It felt as if he has shrunk three sizes by the time she arrived, his eyes following her, hyper-aware of her presence, of how she place the bag next to her and apologised to him. No Happy Birthday then either. No sorry for missing it. She must have been very angry with him. Or maybe she had completely forgot? Seokwoo blinked at his own thoughts, sitting down next to her as she explained why she was there. There was a twitch in his fingertips, wanting to reach forward to brush her hair back behind her ear as she shuffled through her belongings to find her phone, talking about a song she made.

She was always making songs, doing more than he did; maybe she was busy with her song and forgot his birthday. That would be okay, he could understand that, couldn’t he?

“Of course, Sojungie!” He agrees, mustering up the most excited voice he could. Those years of acting had to pay off now, hide how he peeked at her bag and tried to resolve himself to the thought that he was too old now for birthdays. Movement catching the corner of his eyes, and he accepts the earbud. It was best to focus on the song, to listen to what she’d come all the way to his place to show him. One finger self-consciously scratching at the knee of his jeans, gaze focused down on the floor as the music section began to play. The tip of his tongue prodding at the corner of his mouth, then he scratched his neck. Nervous energy coming from mentally talking himself out of asking why she forgot, how could she forgot his birthday. Thoughts that distract him from noticing the music has ended until a second after, realising he hadn’t heard a note, or remembered one – but he knows what he’s going to say anyway.

( “Wow, Sojungie is so amazing!” )

But there’s a touch to his hand and his gaze snaps back to her, inhaling shallowly. She was beautiful. He knew it, he’d say it to others without hesitation. She was cute, like when she’d gotten drunk, when he’d held her steady as they walked and she’d rambled in anger, telling the world what for. She was pretty, like when she was in the passenger seat of his car, trying to decide which chocolate she wanted and the glow of the street lights warmed up her face. But for a second, he can only think she’s beautiful; inconsequentially and irrelevant to situation. Just naturally, sitting there holding the phone and the cord of the earbuds hanging between them. Lashes curved, dashing when she blinks and the light swimming in her eyes when she leans closer.

His heart thrumming in his chest as she speaks, as her voice is soft and calling to him, yet she could have said anything and he wouldn’t have heard. Her beauty was louder than anything else for that moment.

It happens quickly, suddenly, and Seokwoo wishes he didn’t blink, not when her lips were on his own and not in the confusion afterwards. The stuttered jerk of his heart in his chest pulling him roughly back into the second she pulls away. Every part is conscious that he’d watching her talk, watching her pull something else out of her bag, watching her hold the box out to him, but he’s only aware of the tingling sensation left on his lips. The one sign that anything had shifted between them, the tiniest remnants of what was seismic. Seokwoo doesn’t reach out for the box first, instead his fingers rest over her hand holding it and he leans in, this time his lips pressing onto hers. A little longer, something he couldn’t blink and miss. Something he could remember and recall.

Her lips were soft, sweet; radiating warmth through his cheeks and tingling at his fingertips. 

When he pulls away, his gaze averts, biting on his bottom lip and taking the box from her hold. “I knew you wouldn’t forget,” he assures her, unable to contain the smile or the way his nose crinkles when it takes over his features. A chuckle bubbling up as he studies the box, and then glances over at her, the thrumming back in his heart; like a comforting white noise. Maybe it was nothing, maybe it was just a kiss from a friend, maybe it was just affection for him on his birthday. Seokwoo didn’t want to ask the meaning, he didn’t need to know. The sight of the cupcakes did little to him, happiness already flourishing through him; rushing through his veins. His eyes lighting up when the thought came to him. “You don’t have to sing Happy Birthday to me this year, okay? Free pass.”

( Since I got a kiss. )