#(also the first thing Kenzie said to me when we stopped crying was 'I knew it was your car because it was backed into the parking spot)

[cultivating-wildflowers]

one week and 1200 miles, familiar faces and new friends, excessive crying, an unfortunate mistake with a baguette, and one of my dearest people is married

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 8

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: You get a preview of what it’s like to be working with Mackenzie.

Warnings: I apologize as there is no smut in here lmfao but there is a stubborn Bucky lols

A/N: The jitters just never go away whenever I post a new part for this ajkcnjasncakjcnakj I find this part boring tbh but uhh things will start picking up again in the next part I promise

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Bucky decided to push through with his partnership with Wilson Enterprises. It was a big one, so it definitely required the entire team's effort and perseverance. Apparently, this is the company's biggest, most major project yet so this was going to look really good in your resume. It would also provide you with more credibility to further excel in your career.

Except that Bucky actually hired a marketing consultant to take over the entire project as his revenge.

"Any questions? About the project or about Kenzie?" Bucky asked, standing in front of the conference room, next to Mackenzie.

You confidently raised your hand when no one else did. Bucky tilted his head, a tiny smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He knew you were affected, of fucking course you were!

"Yes?" he called out.

You stood up and sighed softly, "I mean this in the most respectful way, Mister Barnes." you said, emphasizing his name. "But as the head of marketing, what exactly is my role here? Given that Mackenzie was hired to spearhead the marketing aspect of this project." you said, giving Mackenzie a passive aggressive smile.

"I don't want to overstep on some boundaries here, that's why I'm asking. I just want clarity, that's all." you said.

Bucky was about to respond when Mackenzie stopped him, grabbing his arm and squeezing it before taking over the floor. You narrowed your eyes at how her slender fingers were wrapped around Bucky's arm.

"Honey..." Mackenzie started. "There's nothing to worry about, this is a collaborative work between you and I. So think of yourself as my assistant, someone to help me out with the project." she responded.

Bitch.

"I'm not an assistant, Mackenzie." you said, smiling at her.

Mackenzie laughed, "I'm sorry, my bad. I shouldn't have used that term. Oops." she said. "Although, I believe I have more experience in this area so maybe consider me a mentor?" she suggested.

Bitch!

Bucky cleared his throat, "If you have certain ideas, you can discuss it with her. She is a consultant after all. Given her impressive experience in the field, I'm sure you'll learn a thing or two from her."

The meeting was wrapped up by noon and you simply couldn't wait to get yourself out of the conference room. You didn't feel like talking to Bucky anymore in all honesty, not after what he was doing. You knew this was just to spite you, get you to cave in first and give in to him.

All the more that you wouldn't, especially not when he actually used your job against you.

Everyone started rushing out of the conference room, ready to head out for lunch. As soon as you reached the doorway, you overheard the short conversation between Bucky and Mackenzie.

"Hey Bucky, we still up for lunch?"

-

The bathroom was empty when you stepped inside and thank god for that because you couldn't hold back your emotions any further. Tears gathered in the corner of your eyes, not because you were hurt. Fuck no, you were angry and frustrated. So fucking angry at yourself for getting into this mess, at Bucky for being such an entitled prick, at the entire world for plotting against you.

You groaned in irritation as you wiped away your tears, sniffing as you looked at yourself in the mirror.

You worked your ass off for this job, for your position. You risked your dignity when you let Bucky fuck you. You weren't going to let someone take that away from you.

You quickly fixed yourself when the door opened, followed by the loud clacking of someone's heels.

"Omg, are you crying?" Beverly gasped, rushing over to you.

You snickered, "No." you lied, "My eyes are itchy." you huffed out before noticing that Beverly was holding a sandwich in her hand.

"Why did you bring your sandwich here?" you curiously asked.

Beverly shrugged, "The pantry's full and the other girls don't exactly seem to like me...so..."

You shook your head and sighed, "Come with me, let's have lunch out. I need to get out of this fucking place anyway."

"Yay, omg! I knew you were nice! You're like, the only girl who actually talked to me nicely." Beverly said, tagging behind you as you exited the bathroom.

"Oh, there you are!" Mark called out. "I was looking for you. Wanna grab lunch? Oh...who's this?" he asked, noticing the blonde girl trailing behind you.

"I'm Beverly! I'm Sir James' new secretary." she introduced excitedly.

You sighed, "Don't ask me why." you said when Mark turned to you with a confused look, still not sure what happened to Bucky's previous secretary.

"So, lunch out? With Bev?" you asked.

-

You were completely zoning out during lunch despite the ongoing conversation between Mark and Bev, something about yoga? You honestly couldn't care less, not when you were feeling so conflicted about your current situation.

Would Bucky actually go that far just to get you back? Or does he actually hate you for saying no to him and is basically using his authority to make your life a living hell?

"So I heard about the new girl." Mark said, that snapped you out of your trance.

"Huh?" you asked.

"I find it weird for Mister Barnes to hire someone when you're here." Mark pointed out. "I mean, are you okay with that or..."

You snorted, "Fuck no. Look, I'm not gonna be the bigger person here. I was offended as fuck." you admitted.

"Yeah, it's super weird because she was hired through Tinder or something. Is that even legal?" Beverly pointed out as she scrolled through her phone.

You and Mark turned to her abruptly, "Tinder? Wait, what?" you asked.

Beverly chuckled, "I heard them talking this morning and Kenzie was like, 'It's so funny that we matched on Tinder and ended up doing business there you know' and I'm like omg Sir James has Tinder and I have one too but I never saw him there, bummer."

"Motherfucker." you hissed out.

Mark made a face, "Are you okay?" he carefully asked. "You've been really tensed since last week."

Apparently, Bucky never deleted his Tinder and have been swiping right on women. And that's how he met Mackenzie who just happened to be a marketing consultant. Now you were just furious, was he fucking her too? Has he been fucking other women this entire time?

"Hey, Bev..." you said, a plan hatching inside your mind. "Can I ask you a favor?" you asked nicely.

Beverly nodded, "Um duh, you're basically my office BFF now."

"If you ever hear Mister Barnes and Mackenzie talk about hmm, I don't know...something interesting. Maybe about the project...me 'cause you know, I'm the head of marketing and Mackenzie’s in the same field...let me know, will ya?" you asked.

Mark chuckled nervously, "I don't know what's going on but isn't that an invasion of privacy?"

"She's not going to eavesdrop, Mark. She'll just...listen closely." you explained.

"Bev might get in trouble if Mister Barnes finds out." Mark warned.

You waved a hand, "She'll be fine, Mark. She's his secretary, she has to know everything. Besides, I'm not going to let her get in trouble, if she does then I'll take care of it."

Beverly squealed in delight, "Omg, you are not my office BFF. You're like my office mom! You and Mark are literally my office parents." she said, lifting her phone up in the air.

"Selfie! This one goes to the 'gram." she said, taking a quick photo of the three of you.

She then proceeded to edit the photo while you and Mark continued eating lunch.

"Bev, you should really put your phone away and eat first. We have less than half an hour left for lunch break." Mark called out.

Beverly groaned and rolled her eyes, "Way to get into the role, Mark. You're such a dad."

You snorted, "Yeah. Loosen up, daddy." you teased.

"Playing family after just one date, huh."

Bucky's presence in the same restaurant should've really intimidated you, most especially that he just witnessed you tease Mark like that. But you were too mad at him to even care, what was the point even? He didn't believe you even when you told him the truth that Mark was just a friend.

Why even try now?

"Hi Sir James." Beverly greeted happily.

"Mister Barnes." Mark acknowledged.

Bucky ignored them and kept his eyes on you. You didn't falter under his gaze and simply stared back at him with blank eyes. It's as if a staring competition took place when the both of you merely looked at each other, neither of you looking away nor attempting to do so.

"How was that date last Friday, Jim?" Bucky asked, his eyes still trained on yours.

Mark made a funny face at the name that Bucky called him but shrugged anyway. Before he could even respond, you decided to answer on his behalf. If Bucky wanted to spite you, you'd give him a taste of his own medicine.

"It was actually great. We might go on another one this Friday." you said.

"We are?" Mark asked in a whisper.

Bucky's hand landed on Mark's shoulder, "Don't count on it, Andrew. She's going to be doing a lot of work on Friday due to the project." he said through gritted teeth.

You shrugged, "Oh, but I thought Mackenzie's doing all my work?"

"I'm ready to head back, Buck."

Speak of the devil herself. Mackenzie weaved through the tables and approached Bucky, her face brightening up when she saw you, Mark and Beverly.

"Oh, hey you." she greeted you. "Look, I think we may have started off on the wrong foot earlier. I'm not here to take your job, just here to spice things up a bit. Improve your ideas, give Bucky some assistance." she chuckled, holding onto Bucky's arm yet again.

You fought back the urge to grab your glass of water and throw it at her face. As the saying goes, kill them with kindness. So you merely shrugged and extended an arm for a handshake.

"Of course. I would love to improve your ideas as well, you know. Just a healthy discourse between two marketing professionals. We good?" you said.

Mackenzie forced out a chuckle and reached for your hand, "We’re good. I look forward to working with you." she said before turning back to Bucky who was still gazing at you.

"Let's go?" she asked sweetly.

Bucky smirked at you before wrapping an arm around Mackenzie's waist, guiding her out of the restaurant the same way he did to you. You were too focused on Bucky's body language around Mackenzie that you failed to notice that Mark was watching you closely, your expressions and how you reacted towards Bucky.

"I think I know what's happening."

-

"You what?!"

"Shhh!" you hushed Mark and peeked out of the empty pantry to make sure the coast was clear.

Mark noticed the tension between you and Bucky and he came to a conclusion that the both of you dated at one point. He wasn't really wrong but he wasn't right either. So you decided to tell him everything, from the moment you matched with Bucky on Tinder until your last conversation with him last Saturday.

"I honestly thought you were dating, I didn't know there was sex involved. No wonder he had been calling me weird names." he said incredulously. "Was that you and Mister Barnes that Janet reported to the HR?" he asked, stifling his laughter.

You groaned, "Yes. Ugh, gave me a panic attack when I found out about that incident report." you said.

"Hey..." Mark called out. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this. Your secret is safe with me." he reassured.

You nodded, "I think it was about time that I told someone about us anyway. This whole situation is driving me crazy and I don't know what to do next. And I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess, I shouldn't have said that we were going out again. I don't want you or your job getting compromised because of our petty fight." you exhaled.

You had to admit, you felt so much better now after confiding with Mark. It somewhat alleviated the weight on your shoulders, knowing that there was someone aware of what you were going through. Who would've thought that this person would end up being Mark? You did have friends outside of work of course, but you felt like they all wouldn't really understand the situation.

Half would hate you for rejecting Bucky and the other half would hate you for even swiping right on him.

"Do you mind an unsolicited advice?" Mark asked.

"Not at all." you said.

"Ignore him. Don't let him or Mackenzie get to you. Do what you do best, you're great at your job and you'll be fine. That might get him to realize that you're not a prize to be won. And if he still doesn't see that, then that's his loss. You're more than just that hot marketing girl at work." Mark said.

You laughed at his last statement, "Hot marketing girl at work?" you asked, shaking your head.

"It's true. So if in any case you decide to ditch the CEO and move on, you know where to find me." he joked, throwing a wink your way.

-

You wanted to finish all your reports so you could focus on the huge project so you decided to work until around nine in the evening. The floor was already empty by the time you were done. Bucky seemed to be working too, given that he was still replying to e-mails at this hour. Wanting to get all the reports over with, you decided to submit it to him before going home.

During the elevator ride to Bucky’s floor, you couldn’t help but wonder whether he was alone in the office. Would Mackenzie be there with him? Even at this hour? Your grip on the folder tightened at the thought of catching them in the act.

But did you have any right to feel this way though?

Brushing off the thoughts, you exhaled loudly and prepared yourself for whatever it was you were to witness. Upon reaching the door to Bucky’s office, you slightly turned your head to listen to anything. It was quiet. No hushed whispers nor strained grunts-- they weren’t fucking, thank goodness for that.

You decided not to knock and just walk inside like you used to, reminding yourself of Mark’s advice.

Don’t let Bucky get to you.

When you saw Bucky hunched over his desk, typing away on his e-mails instead of bending a certain brunette somewhere in his office, you had to admit that you were relieved. He looked up and his eyes looked dead tired, you almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

“You should really learn how to knock.” Bucky called out, slamming his laptop shut.

“Look, Bucky. I was just rushing to submit these reports so I can go home.” you explained and placed the folder on top of his desk.

Bucky frowned, “I said to call me Mister Barnes.”

You huffed out, “I honestly don’t care, Bucky. I’m not playing your damn games anymore.” you said and turned around.

A hand on your arm pulled you back, harshly turning you around to face Bucky. He was fuming, as usual. At this point, you were no longer fazed.

“You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do?” he asked.

You clenched your jaw and pulled your arm back, “I’m not doing anything. You bring in Beverly or Mackenzie or whoever it is that you have up your sleeve. I don’t fucking care. I just want to focus on work.” you said and stepped away.

“And you should too, Bucky.” you added.

“I don’t believe you.” he said.

You sighed, your shoulders dropping from exhaustion at this whole shenanigan. “I’m done, Bucky.”

And with that you turned around to exit his office, leaving Bucky unsure whether you truly meant what you said. A victorious smirk graced your lips as you walked back to the elevator.

You were far from done.

-

The Match Special Tags:

@marvelslag​​ @weird-mumbling​​ @propertyofpoeandbucky​​ @lostinthoughtsandfeelings​​ @mostly-marvel-musings​​ @squishybabies​​ @megzdoodle​​ @suchababie​​ @annathesillyfriend​​ @xhollycowx​​ @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​​ @5-seconds-of-mendes​​ @gogolucky13​​ @countonthesun​​ @iloveshawnieboi​​ @learisa​​ @borikenlove​​ @scarlet-natasha89​​

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii​​ @jessou893​​ @stealapizzamyheart​​ @bagelofthelord​​ @mxnt​​ @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky​​ @ohladymacbeth​​ @wildflowergubler​​ @supraveng​​ @twinerd14​​ @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3​​ @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm​​ @charminivy​​ @amelia-song-pond​​ @iamvalentinaconstanza​​ @mcubqrnes @im-squished​​ @tcc-gizmachine​​ @sipsteacasually​​ @prettyintopeerpressure​​ @weloveyasmin​ @est19xxshit​ @bloodhon3yx​ @dressed-in-prada​ @lizette50​ @thatfangirl42​ @sunflowerbunny2​ @unmagically​ @okiegirl24​ @sugarpunch-princess​ @enlyume​ @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp​ @lyoongx​ @just-deka​ @nobody-will​ @jaziona92 @elisebuitron​ @dpaccione​ @suvikamahes98blr​ @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x​ @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes​ @iloveangstposts​ @weenersoldierr​ @asemistablehundredyearoldman​ @reidbuck​ @lizzarooni​ @girlfriday007​ @bonkywobble​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @its-yasbxtch​ @whoth3hellisbucky​

[jjmaybanksbaby]

Where It Leads (Rafe Cameron)

Summer IV

Part 07: Crashing Down

series masterlist | previous part

summary: A jarring family emergency forces you to consider the future of your relationship with Rafe Cameron.

a/n: I'm a little bit emotional about this series ending because I've had so much fun writing it! Enjoy the last part and, as always, please come share your reactions with me in my inbox. Okay, that's all from me!

word count: 2.1k words

Rafe Cameron knew how to text. He was somehow witty, charming, and hilarious all in less characters than a single tweet. Texting with most boys was like talking to a brick wall: single-syllable answers, unironic uses of punctuation, asking “What are you wearing?” before even listening to how your day went. Though, to be fair, Rafe had asked that same question a few times, which always earned him a sarcastic answer in return. Well, except for that one time.

You’d been forced to spill the beans about your dreamy summer romance to Alice and Kensie after one of Rafe’s funnier texts almost made you pee yourself laughing at the lunch table.

“Oh, so he’s a stud muffin,” Alice announced, peering over Kenzie’s shoulder at the photo on your phone.

“Please god don’t call anyone a stud muffin ever again Al,” Kenzie replied.

“What? The 80s are like making a comeback.”

“Yeah, not that,” you countered and Alice huffed.

“He’s totally hot though,” Kenzie said, handing the phone back to you. “And I kinda hate you for not telling us about him.”

You looked down at the picture. Rafe was kissing your check while you grinned up at the camera, the golden hour lighting made the whole thing look rather enchanting. It was your favorite picture of you and him.

“Oh shit,” Kenzie said causing you to look up from the phone. “You’re like in love in love with him.”

“What? No,” you protested. Yes, your brain corrected.

Kenzie glanced over at Alice for backup.

“Besides, I wasn’t hiding him. I just didn’t know if there was anything there to...tell,” you finished.

“I wish I had a handsome summer fling with spectacular cheekbones,” Alice sighed.

“Don’t let your boyfriend hear you saying that.” Kenzie chucked a fry off her tray at Alice who dodged it expertly.

“Oh, please. Matty knows I would dump his ass for someone who looks like a young Chuck Bass any day of the week. Gimme your phone. I wanna see the photos again y/n.”

“I seriously don’t know how you and Matthew have been together for two years,” Kenzie replied.

“Are you kidding? They’re practically made for each other,” you added.

“The phone, please,” Alice interjected. “I wanna thirst over your mans while my boyfriend is sucking up to his English teacher so she doesn’t fail him. Of course, I told him he needed to actually read Wuthering Heights and not just sparknotes it. But did he listen? No. I picked a real winner y’all,” she finished, taking the phone from your outstretched hands. “You sure Rafe doesn’t have any brothers? Not even like a half-step brother?”

So yeah, going great. Against the odds of three thousand miles, the whole thing was somehow working. Long-distance friends with benefits? Check. Well, except for those moments when that nagging feeling in your stomach came back and you’d start overthinking everything. His texts would sit, unread in your phone for days or even a whole week, slowly sinking to the bottom of your messages.

Then came the call from the Kildare Country Hospital in the early hours of a foggy April morning. You should have gone to sleep hours ago but were still up, desperately trying to cram Maria’s lines into your brain while also texting Rafe. The Sound of Music opened in three weeks and your director had already chewed you out twice for not being off-book, something about being an upperclassman and the lead, and what kind of an example were you setting for the rest of the program. Big speeches were kind of your director's thing, you learned to just ride them out.

Around 1 a.m. your phone ran with an incoming FaceTime call from Rafe. You pressed the green acccept button, a smile spread across your face as Rafe’s own filled the screen.

“Hey Broadway Star.”

“Hi Rafe.” The dim lighting of his bedroom made his feature especially striking. “What are you still doing up?”

“Can’t sleep. Plus you’re up too so. How’s the memorizing going?”

“Shitty,” you replied, closing your binder with a sigh. “I’m too tired to do anymore of it tonight anyway.”

“You know, I was thinking I could come to Oregon for your opening night?”

“Really?” The possibility of Rafe sitting in the audience made your heart race.

“Yeah, why not? I’ll ask Ward if I can borrow the plane that weekend and I bet Sarah’ll want to come too. I wanna see my girl kill it. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Rafe. You know my friends think you’re hot.”

“Oh, do they?” Rafe replied, rolling over onto his back in his bed.

“Don’t let it get to your head, Cameron.”

The home phone ran but you ignored it, much more invested in your conversation with Rafe. The second time the hospital left a message. Your Nonna’s heart had given out. The prognosis wasn’t good. She had barely any time left.

Your heart dropped as the words echoed over the speaker of the answering machine.

“Rafe,” you said, cutting him off momentarily. “I gotta go. I’ll call you back later. I gotta-” you ended the call before Rafe even had the chance to respond. You dropped your phone on the kitchen table, dashing up the stairs to your parents’ bedroom. Your father was booking a flight for your mother back to the Outer Banks minutes later.

The end had come so quickly, so unexpectedly. It was almost like that made it harder. There'd been just enough time for your mom and uncle to get to the Outer Banks, sitting on each side of your Nonna as her final breaths passed through her lungs. Now, everyone was there to say goodbye one last time. Uncle Austin and his fiancé. Your mom and dad. Both your siblings. The entire population of Figure Eight.

☼☼☼

Rain drizzled down from the dark, gray clouds looming overhead. It was as if Mother Nature was mourning your Nonna too, hiding the sunshine away.

Three baby ducks followed their mama into the man-made pond at the edge of the cemetery. You watched their tiny feet kick up small waves disturbing the peaceful water and the tears silently slipped down your face.

The cars were waiting to take you back to your Nonna's house for the wake. The same house with the for-sale sign now stuck in the front yard. The for-sale sign with Rose's patronizing grin that you were starting to really hate. Your dad had handled that. Listing the house. He'd handled most of the funeral arrangement's actually because your mother had been too sunken into her grief to make any decision. Sending out the invitations, picking out your Nonna's casket, choosing the flowers. Your mother clung to him during the entire funeral, weeping into his shoulder.

“Y/n?” Rafe's voice called out from behind you and you turned to see him walked toward you. He’d stood at the back of the church with his family during the funeral. You had longed for him to be sitting in the first pew next to you, to have had his hand to hold onto to ground you, but it hardly would have been appropriate. Your Nonna would have sooner risen from the dead than have had a Cameron front row at her funeral.

As soon as he was close enough, Rafe reached for you, pulling your body tight into him. Your head landed on his chest and the sobs came moments later. God, he always smelled the same. He just let you cry, holding you close, smoothing his hand over your hair.

“I know you’re selling your grandma’s house but I was thinking you could stay with me for the summer," he said as your tears began to slow. It was hard to imagine that you wouldn't return to the Outer Banks once school let out. It was the first week of May already and you could feel the tourist-attracting town waking up. But selling the house just made more sense. Your older sister was already living her life in New York, a real adult life. Next summer, you'd be moving out too, headed to college. The house would sit empty for eight months out of the year, your family couldn't keep it and your uncle certainly didn’t want it. Selling it just had to happen.

You stepped back, slipping out of his embrace. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Rafe.”

“Why not?”

“Cause we’re like Romeo and Juliet.”

“I copied Cleo’s notes for that unit," he joked, trying to lighten to damp mood. “Plus I was never a fan of Leo DiCaprio so I didn’t finish the movie either.”

“It means we’re not supposed to be together, you and me. And whenever we try, the universe rips us apart. We hurt each other.”

Rafe shifted awkwardly on his feet, clearly wanting to reach for you again but stopping himself from doing it. “But I can't lose you.”

You reached your hand out, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. “Oh Rafe, don’t you get it? You never really had me.” You stood up onto your tiptoes to kiss him just like you had the first time three years ago. Rafe barely parted his lips, kissing you back gently. Your hand cupped his face, your thump stroking over his cheek. It was a goodbye. Both of you knew it. It was an ending and this was your closure. You pulled away, your hand falling away from his face.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say the actual words. Your eyes fell to the ground. You needed to walk away now. You side-stepped Rafe but he grabbed your waist, turning you back around to face him.

“So that’s it? You’re not even gonna try to fight for us?”

“What even is there to fight for, Rafe? I’ve been fighting for us for the past four years. If we were supposed to be together that car wouldn’t have crashed into ours, I wouldn’t have fallen for Evan when I did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation at my Nonna’s funeral. What? Are we supposed to do long distance for all of college? I hardly know who I am right now. I have no idea who I’ll be in the next four years. Our future selves might not even like each other. I’m not gonna wait around for you Rafe and I would never ask you to do that for me.” You twirled the small, star charm between your fingers, a nervous habit you'd developed over the past year. His eyes dropped down to your neck momentarily and his adam's apple visibly bobbing as he swallowed his next weeks.

“You were it for me, you know. I tried to give a fuck about anyone else but I couldn’t get your gorgeous, stupid face out of my mind. I only wanted you.” Rafe paused gauging your reaction “I was falling in love with you.”

Your eyes wandered over his stoic expression. “The feeling was mutual, Rafe Cameron.”

He dropped your wrist but you both stood, not moving or saying anything. “Do you wanna walk me back to the car?”

“Yeah.” He reached for your hand, interlocking your fingers. Your other hand held onto his bicep so you walked together through the graveyard back to the parking lot.

The moment felt precious and delicate, like the fragile china your Nonna used to collect. You wondered what would happen to all that china.

Rafe placed a chaste kiss on your lips before opening the door of the car.

“I’ll miss you,” you said, the words hanging in the air meaning so much.

“Me too,” Rafe agreed.

You wanted one more kiss, one more passionate declaration of how much this all had meant but that would make leaving Rafe so much more impossible.

You climbed into the car, dropping Rafe’s hand in the process.

“See you around Cameron.” You knew it wouldn’t happen but it felt better than a goodbye.

He smiled back. “Maybe so.”

Perhaps Rafe was right and you’d both end up at a small liberal arts college in California taking the same second-year Econ class with a professor who always smelled like weed. Perhaps the stars would align and two of you would realize the universe wasn’t trying to keep you apart. It was just waiting for the right moment to show you that the love you had for each other was the soulmates, forever and ever kind of love. Perhaps you would get married and Sarah would be your maid of honor, of course. You’d buy back your Nonna’s house to raise your troubling-making kids in. Perhaps, you would find your way back and wake up each day and choose each other again and again.

Or perhaps, he'd always be your right-person-wrong-time. And, in the end, the passing days will steal away your memories of the blue-eyed boy from the Outer Banks.

taglist! @oreoenthusiast13

[im-a-lonelyheart]

Fitzsimmons Family Headcanons in case canon fails me

And before they destroy them. Buckle up.

(I wrote this in less than an hour and english is not my first language, sooo sorry for any mistakes)

Edit: I re-posted it because it wasn’t showing up in the tags. sorry.

Enjoy! (Gift credit: X)

They finally decide to retire to their cottage.

Daisy and May lived with them for a while but at different times. Daisy around the time their first kid was born and May when the youngest was a kid already.

May and Daisy totally live together in the USA.

Fitzsimmons started a biomedical company, they make prostetics and medical supplies. They fund small researchers and become relatively known in the medical field (under aliases of course). They run their company from their home as much as they can.

Deke got bored of his company, so he eventually fused it with FS’s, he has enough money to travel around the world and be whatever he wants. Once was a TV chef, and he got bored and became a travel blogger, then launched a clothing line so it goes…

Tried to convince the team to turn their story into a broadway musical. They all said no. He brings it up everytime they are all together (you never know)

Fitzsimmons have three kids, they were all planned ;) of course

Daisy teases Fitz about how the three of them look like Jemma. “You are adopted”. the son is the only one who kinda looks like him. Fitz doesn’ t mind.

After the kids go their own ways they leave together again.

Have their own quinjet in case of emergencies, they say. Let’s be honest after years of flying with SHIELD, commercial flights lost their charm.

Look retired Fitzsimmons would be that kind of couple who travels the world together (properly this time), they say the quinjet is to visit their friends and Family around the world but would randomly send pictures of them in front of a famous landmark.

Mackenzie Skye Fitzsimmons (Daisy calls her Kye) (Born around 2021) (Quarantine baby) or (Timetravel baby)

They never asked Deke about their daughter’s name in the original timeline, but once they told him, judging by his reaction they knew it was this. (but in the lighthouse timeline her nickname was Kenzie)

Fitz was really adamant on this name, Jemma thought it was cute and a great way to honor their best friends, but years later he told the kid:

“you were named after two of the bravest persons I’ve ever met”.

Jemma just stared into the space as it dawned on her that her husband was really an idiot.

He winked at her and she forgave him. Eventually.

When she was a toddler Fitzsimmons moved back to the city and left their cottage, they wanted their daughter to have the best education and also didn’t want to wake her up early because the closest school was still an hour away.

Around that time Daisy found Bobbi, they met up, and Bobbi introduced her to her baby son Owen. 

“oh my god. I need to call Fitzsimmons” 

“what” 

“shhhh. wait, it’s connecting... Hey guys! Look who is here! Bobbi and her baby Owen Shaw” 

Fitz spits his tea all over his phone. Bobbi doesn’t know what’s going on, and they eventually explain it to her, well, after Daisy stops laughing and Fitz stops coughing.

Bobbi and Hunter had changed names and moved to England. After learning that Fitzsimmons live nearby, they make plans to see each other as much as they can. Look this is my headcanon AU so Fitzsimmons offer them positions in their company, Bobbi in the lab and Hunter in a made up security position that doesn’t fit his nametag. 

Some weekends Fitz and Hunter take the babies to the park together, while Jemma and Bobbi work or hang out together. One day kye and Owen were playing and Owen proudly declared he was going to be an astronaut. Fitz was like “you and your son are the bane of my existence”.

The kids become best friends. Duh 

BUT this is Bobbi and Hunter we are talking about, they’re nomads so they eventually move out around Europe and America, when the kid started high school they agreed to stay in one place.

Anyways,

Amazing kid, took a while for her parents to figure out the whole parenting thing but she was so great, as long as things went her way.

Fitz can’t say no to her. A dog? We’ll manage. Ice cream for breakfast? c’mon you know how convincing she can be. 

She is a really calm kid, well behaved. Responsible older sister, mom friend, but messy af. “look mom, I have a system and I know where everything is”.

Nicest kid you’ll ever meet, but if you mess with her siblings be careful, you never know if you will find trash in your backpack.

She is an MD. Eventually, her parents moved back to the countryside but she stayed in the city with her sister to finish her education.

Makes friends everywhere she goes.

She and Owen started dating in their teens but were on and off several times, they even briefly dated other people because one of them would get scared of things becoming too serious (even more when they learned that Uncle Deke was genetically their son). 

In their late twenties they decided to get married as a compromise to stay together and work things out, after all, some things are inevitable.

They had two kids: Daniel Shaw (Deke, but They wanted him to be his own person so they changed the name), Gabrielle Shaw (Born as Oliver Shaw)

Owen worked for a while for SWORD. Eventually decide to move to Germany to work as researchers.

Margaret Abigail Fitzsimmons (Maggie) (Born 2025)

The odd one. Grew up to be a successful artist. Really independent as a child, could play hours by herself or caually chill around her parents or her brother’s crib.

Despite being the only one in her family who isn’t into science, she loves doing experiments all the time, in the name of aesthetic. One time turned the dog blue. There’s a fire extinguisher in the living room just because of her. Banned from her parents’ lab “Pretty colors can go boom”. Aparently.

After being constantly told she is diferent from the rest of her family, she feels happy when someone tells her she looks like her mom. She scoffs but she doesn’t really mind.

Acts though but is a softie, vegan, activist, animal lover. Loves to tease everyone, prankster, makes fun of her mom but it’s the first person she thinks of when something troubles her. Late night calls are not unheard of.

Can’t commit to a single hobby. Photography, cooking, volunteer work... name something, and she has probably already tried it.

Really close to Deke, sometimes travels with him. They are kindred spirits. Feel like only them understand the need to explore and try new things.

She grew up to resent shield. Look she loves what her parents and their friends did, but hates how it affected them. Forgive and forget? in this economy?? 

Lives in Paris by herself but somehow always manages to get everyone to come to her art exhibits. You won’t be able to stop her once she sets her mind to something. Stubborn as her dad.

Doesn’t want kids, maybe one day if she feels ready she will adopt but she is happy as an aunt.

Matthew Phillip Fitzsimmons (Matthew) (Born 2030)

Ray of sunshine, Momma’s boy. He loves it when his parents take him to their lab. Ever since he could walk he is always following his sisters around, if they are up to something he is the first one to know. They love to tease him, but he has enough blackmail material to get them to shut up. He would never use it tho.

Computer genius. He has his own video game company. Launched his first video game at 16. Fitz is mildly offended he sees the Framework code as “old stuff”.

He is a sweetheart, adores his parents and calls them every single day. He met his wife in college and has been happy ever since. It was fast and passionate, they got married within a year and a few years later they had a baby. 

Truly an example of living fast. 

Melissa Fitzsimmons (his daughter) a sweetheart, may is her godmother. (The babies’ baby’s baby, i cry). The cousins are thick as thieves. 

May loves the kid, “age is making you softer”, Daisy tells her and laughs, May’s glare while holding a baby is too much for her.

Emma Johnson (born 2029) (the honorary fourth kid)

Daisy’s daughter. Jemma cried when she told her the baby’s name. She wanted May and Jemma in the delivering room with her. 

I can see Daisy being a badass single mother but I also see her finding love, I haven’t made up my mind but I think she will be loved either way.

Only child, so loves to hang out with the FS kids.

She and Matthew are best friends since they were little, even having video calls when they couldn’t see each other in person.

Fitz and Daisy had a bet on whether they would get together, but it was called off when it became apparent Emma wasn’t interested in men altogether. She was the first woman in his wedding.

The “Quake” legacy was too much for her so she decided to focus in something different. Currently works as an architect and on her spare time works as a freelance illustrator.

All I can imagine is a scene where the are all together in a field (probably the same one where they buried Coulson and Loop!Fitz) May, Fitzsimmons and Daisy. They try to meet up there at least once a year to chat and reminisce about old times, sometimes with Deke, Mack and Elena (and their twin boys) or just them. 

Their kids are playing while their parents watch, but May’s watching them, with their backs to her they almost look like the kids she met in the bus all those years ago. Coulson would’ve been so proud, this is the future we were fighting for all along, she thinks.

“You did good”.

Daisy turns around with a soft smile on her face and says “yes, we did.”

The end

[gradiancasey]

New Start || Nate & Casey

Who: Casey Wilde & @nstjames

Where: Nate’s Place

When: 19th February 

Triggers: None 

After getting the unexpected text from Nate, Casey couldn't help her next decision afterwards. She had been steadily drinking for most of the day. It was a hard week for her and her decision making skills were most definitely impaired. She made the only smart choice of the night and called a cab to Nate's place. Knocking on the door, she waited impatiently for answer.

Nate knew sending the text to Casey was a big risk and drinking while doing it wasn’t the smartest idea he had. He was in the middle of watching a show when he heard a knock on the door, he placed his water on the table before he got up and answered it. “Casey, hi.” He said with a surprise tone as he stepped aside to let her in. “What’s wrong? Is Lily okay?”

"I don't have Lily. She's with Eric's parents." Casey shrugged, tugging awkwardly on her sleeve. Now that she was here, a part of her was starting to panic. What if Nate sent her away. "You text me. I've...I don't know..." She trailed off, biting her lip nervously. "Your text...it made me realise that I missed you."

“Oh, okay.” Nate replied as he let out a breath of relief and looked at her as she spoke. He swallowed thickly, knowing that he had a different reaction in mind from her. “I’ve missed you too and I’m sorry about the text, I know I keep on disappearing on you and I’ve missed you too.”

"Don't apologise. You don't have to tell me anything." Casey shrugged, looking around the room. Looking anywhere she could to avoid looking at Nate. "It's not like we were exclusive or anything. I don't blame you for disappearing on me... I'm basically a mess." She muttered. The wine she had spent the day drinking made her far too honest.

“Yeah, I do and I do have to apologize. Casey, I care about you and what I did was a dick move. I completely disappeared for a month or so without letting you know why.” Nate said as he watched her look somewhere else. “It doesn’t matter if we were exclusive or anything, I owe you an apology and an explanation. A beautiful mess at that.” He took a step towards her and stayed where he was at.

Casey shook her head. "You don't owe me anything. Really." She told him stubbornly.  She watched as Nate stepped towards her,  nerves starting to build up again. "I'm not...you don't.." she sighed in frustration, attempting to finish her sentence. "You scare me, Nate. Not in a bad way. My feelings for you scare me."

Nate stared at her, knowing that she was being stubborn and wanted to call her out on it. “Yeah, I do.” He said softly. “You are and I do.” He swallowed thickly when he heard her and felt his eyes widen a bit. “They do?”

Casey let out a shaky breath she didn't even realise she was holding. "They do." She admitted, avoiding looking at Nate again. "I've not felt like this since Eric...since he..." She trailed off again, blinking back tears that always seemed to appear when she spoke about her husband. "That scares me. How can I feel this way but still cry myself to sleep most nights over him? I feel so...guilty and it's not fair to you to have to deal with this." She waved her hand over herself. "Maybe I should go."

Nate licked his lips as she spoke and knew where she was coming from. “Hey, no.” He reached out and grabbed her hand, leading her to his couch before he helped her sit down. “I know you’re still grieving his death and you still love him, I’ve known this. Its okay, I’m more than willing to deal with this.” He paused a bit as he looked at her. “I’m not going to pretend to know what you’re dealing with, but I do know this. I’m not going anywhere. You deserve to be happy, Casey.” He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb as he looked at her.

"You shouldn't have..." Casey trailed off again, stopping herself again. Maybe he was right. "I want to be happy. I really do." She paused again, letting her gaze drop to their hands then back to Nate's face. She took another shaky breath, almost as if preparing herself for her next words. "I want to be happy with you."

Nate continued to caressed the back of her hand with his thumb and as she spoke. “And you deserve to be happy, too.” He said as he looked at her and felt his heart rate picked up when he heard her words. “You do?”

Casey nodded. Her chest was pounding and she was sure Nate could hear her heart racing. She almost felt like a schoolgirl again, telling her crush just how much she liked him. "I do. I know I'm not the most easy choice for a..." Trailing off, she paused, was it the right time to use the word 'girlfriend.' "I'm stubborn and I get far too emotional sometimes plus I work stupid hours and spend all my spare time with Lily. But if you're interested...in me. Mess and all. Then yes, I want to try...whatever this is."

Nate listened to her as she spoke, couldn’t help but smile. He let out a soft chuckle when he heard the word stubborn came from her mouth. “I’m definitely interested in you and I want try whatever this is. We can take things slow, since we both work stupid hours and tend to get swapped with parent duties. I also want all of those emotions and take care of you during your drunken nights and hold you while you cry.”

Casey smiled softly at his words. This hadn't been what she had expected to happen when she had made the sudden decision to show up here. "Thank you." She said quietly, squeezing his hand gently. "We'll figure it all out. I really want this to work."

Nate nodded as he returned the squeezed. “You’re welcome.” He replied softly as he looked at her and nodded again. “We will, because we’re the perfect team and I do too, I really do.”

"The perfect team, huh? I like the sound of that." Casey smiled, before letting out a small sigh. "I really should go though. Lily comes home in the morning and I really need to sort my living room. It's currently littered with wine bottles." She paused, thinking hard before reaching up and pulling Nate a little closer towards her so she could finally kiss him. "I couldn't leave without that."

“Good because it’s the truth.” Nate replied with a grin plastered on his face. He nodded as she spoke, knowing that he had to pick up the house before Kenzie came back from a friends house. “Yeah, I gotta do the same, minus the wine bottles. Kenzie wants to change the living room when she gets back from her friends house, something about spicing up the place.” He said. He automatically cupped her cheek as he returned the kiss, and chuckled when he heard her. “Mhm nope, never.”

"I'm sure it will look great when the two of you are done." Casey smiled. Feeling a lot better than when she had first arrived, she reluctantly stood from the couch. She didn't want to have to leave but there was too much she needed to do before tomorrow. "I'll text you." She promised, giving him one last peck before actually leaving.21 February 2021

“Thank you.” Nate replied with a smile, looking forward to show it to her. He stood up when she did, knowing that he would walk her to the door. Once they reached the door, he nodded when she said she’d text him. “You better.” He teased with a smile and returned the peck before he said his goodbyes and closed the door behind her.

[reellykenzie]

This Is Heartache

In which Kenzie finally confesses everything going on inside her head and her heart to her mother.

After Kenzie’s breakdown at school when she had been attacked by the girl and all the things her friends had said, she had finally decided to call her therapist for an emergency session. There, she had yet another breakdown, discussing so many things, including things she hadn’t really talked about before or even realized. After so long, her therapist suggested what Kenzie considered to be the worst thing ever... telling her mom how she felt. At first, she had said absolutely no, but after even more talking, the doctor convinced her it would help things, that her mom could handle it. 

Despite agreeing to it, she was still terrified about everything. Her hands shook as she drove to the apartment, trying to come up with whatever reasons she could to not tell her mom all her secrets. The biggest way she could avoid telling her mom anything would be if her mom was already at work. She couldn’t say anything if she wasn’t there after all. Of course there was no such luck. As soon as she walked into the apartment, she could tell her mom was home. As soon as she walked through the door, Victra ran up to her, meowing and demanding attention. She couldn’t help leaning down, scratching the cat behind the ears and kissing the top of her head. 

“Kenzie?” Maggie said, coming out of the kitchen when she heard the door. She was surprised to see her daughter at the apartment. She hadn’t told her anything about coming over for a visit or anything. “I didn’t know you were coming over today.”

The young woman winced, standing up straight. The bruise on her jaw wasn’t that bad any more, but there was still a bit of a scab where her lip had bled. Instantly, her mom ran over, concerned as she examined her daughter’s face. “What happened?” Maggie asked, tilting Kenzie’s face to the side as she looked at it. The concerned tone of her mom’s voice was too much to her, instantly bringing the tears to her eyes. She had cried so much over the last few days and for the last two hours with her therapist. She didn’t know she had any tears left. It immediately worried Maggie, who never saw her daughter cry. She hugged her taller daughter, bringing her over to the couch. “What’s going on?”

“I... I’m sorry Mom. I just... I can’t do it any more. I can’t,” she said as she started to cry harder, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. “My therapist said I need to tell you all this stuff that I’m thinking, but I can’t. I’m so scared to. Everything I have ever done has been to protect you.”

Maggie was instantly concerned and saddened when she heard those words. What did she do to make her daughter feel like she couldn’t speak to her? No matter what, she would always love Kenzie. There was nothing she could say or do that would make her upset or anything. “You can tell me anything, sweetheart. You don’t have to protect me,” Maggie said, tucking her hair behind Kenzie’s ear.

Kenzie nodded, looking down at her lap as the tears fell. “Ever since... Ever since Dad died, I’ve tried to be strong. I’ve tried to be tough and not let anything bother me. I felt like I needed to so you wouldn’t be so worried or sad. Any time you were sad or something, I felt like it was my fault. That I didn’t do something right or I failed. And then I just started seeing everyone that way. That I have to protect everyone and be strong for everyone no matter how I am feeling. I have put every single person I have ever met before myself. I just pretend like I’m happy and nothing hurts me, but I’m so miserable. I don’t even feel happy any more,” she admitted, sobbing harder as she let it all off her chest. 

“The truth is, I think of myself as this awful person. That everything bad that happens is my fault. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but I can’t help thinking it. The thing is... All I want is to feel protected and loved. I know you’re not supposed to put your self worth on someone else, but for so long, I’ve been the one made fun of, the one people rely on. All I want is someone that takes cares of me and makes me feel safe and secure. Every boy I have had feelings for just laughs in my face. They think I’m too much of a boy or I’m too tall or whatever else makes them not like me. They call me ugly and everything else they can. And recently, I... I was in a relationship. It was sort of a polyamory thing. I was dating two guys and we were all sort of dating each other. I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure if you would understand. Mostly, I thought that it wouldn’t last long enough to tell you anything. I expected it to end eventually and it did. One boy felt left out of things and apparently I acted like their mom to them and there were all these rumors... I broke up with them because I thought it was what they wanted and I wanted to make it easier for them, give them someone to hate. It wasn’t what they wanted though. I made the choice for them and I just made everything ten times worse. I really had feelings for both of them and once again I just ruined everything,” Kenzie said, babbling on and on about everything and the way she had been feeling. “After getting my heart broken and ruining things yet again, I just thought it was pointless to hope that any guy would ever want me, so I just started having a lot of random sex. I figured it was the only thing anyone would want from me and if I was having sex with guys, I could pretend in my head for a bit that they cared for me, that they actually wanted to be with me. It was never true, but I just wanted to pretend like it was possible. But even that was a total failure. It made me feel worse and worse and then everyone started spreading rumors about me being a huge slut and that I get paid to have sex and everything is just a mess,” she said, taking a deep breath as she was racked with more sobs. 

Every word Kenzie said just broke Maggie’s heart more and more. How had she not seen how sad her daughter was? Of course after Neil died, she had been devastated, but she hadn’t expected Kenzie to be strong and take care of her or anything. She hadn’t ever thought her daughter needed to be the one to take care of her, but apparently she had done a poor job of making sure her daughter knew that. The way she saw herself made her even sadder. Maggie was one of those parents who thought their child was absolutely perfect and amazing in every way. Of course she loved Kenzie’s strength, but she also loved and appreciated all the other qualities that Kenzie had. Her mind, her imagination, her passion... all were wonderful things. The fact that her daughter couldn’t see those things in herself, couldn’t love herself as much as her mother did. All the relationship stuff was new and a bit of a shock. She hadn’t realized that her daughter was with anyone, let alone two boys at once. As long as she was happy, that was all that was important, but apparently it didn’t last that long. And of course all the casual sex concerned her, though she wasn’t naive enough to think her teenage daughter wasn’t having sex. They had that talk ages ago. But for her to rely on sex to feel things... it wasn’t right. 

“Kenzie, baby, I’m so sorry you felt this way and thought you couldn’t tell me. I’m sorry you had to feel like you needed to take on everything after your dad died. I know I was sad and a mess, but that didn’t mean you needed to take his place. I can take care of myself. I’m supposed to take care of both of us. And you are so worthy of love. You know I had no luck with love when I was your age. It’s not just you. When you find the right person, like I did, you can make it work. It can take hard work, but it’s possible. You are not just some sex object. You are smart and strong and kind and I love you so much. I wish you could see yourself that way,” Maggie said, wiping the tears from her daughter’s face. 

As her mother spoke, she felt a bit better. A weight had been lifted from her shoulders, a weight she had carried for far too long. Nothing had really changed, but just admitting it all to the one person she had tried to protect the most did seem to make a difference. Her therapist had been right after all. Despite feeling better from talking and her mother’s words, she couldn’t help it as she kept crying, curling up in her mother’s lap. She just needed her mom and only the comfort she could bring. Maggie stroked her fingers through her daughter’s hair, humming softly as she rubbed Kenzie’s back and held her until she stopped crying.

[encchantress]

❝ you all love twisting the knife into one another. ❞

“You all love twisting the knife into one another.”

Ofelia rolled her eyes, momentarily dropping what she was doing to turn and face Candace head on. “Oh, my God. Shut up.” She walked over to where Candace was strapped to a chair, grabbing the duct tape on the way. “I’ve about had enough of your wannabe villain shit.” She taped over Candace’s mouth, sufficiently shutting her up. 

Sure, duct taping her mouth shut was a little over the top, but so was everything else she was about to do. Thanks to a generous contribution from David, Ofelia had been able to spring Candace from jail for one day only and secure the rights to the only firing range in Coolsville. It had been hard work too! Not that getting Candace was a problem, but keeping it from all of Mystery Inc. had been. They wouldn’t have let her exact revenge on their tormenter (well, some of them would have been cool with it, but not the ones that mattered), and it was all she’d been thinking about since they’d discovered it was, in fact, Caleb’s shitty ex-girlfriend that had been torturing them for months. 

“No, you’re going to listen to me now.” She turned around and walked back to the small table holding a couple of guns from the firing range, her own handgun, and a variety of devices she’d stolen from Danny. “Besides being the world’s worst ex-girlfriend,” She started, resuming loading the gun she’d been holding earlier, putting only one bullet in the chamber. She set it down and picked up the next gun, doing the same thing. “You also-” Another gun loaded, “-Murdered a somewhat innocent cop. Not that I liked him, but even I know murder is extra.” She picked up one of Danny’s inventions, testing the weight in her hand. She aimed at one of the dummies set up in a line on either side of Candace’s chair. Without another thought she fired it, watching a blue ray incinerate the dummies head. Candace squirmed in her chair, starting to realize the point of Ofelia’s little escapade. “What? Did you think we were going for a picnic?” She smirked, blowing off the tip of the laser gun and setting it back down. 

“Where was I? Oh, yeah. Cop murder.” She ran her hand across the instruments on the table, letting the vibes decide which one she’d pick up next. “Also, you convinced Bailey J that her ex-girlfriend had been murdered and forced her to dig her up only for there to be no body. That’s pretty traumatizing, don’t you think? What do you think this does?” She picked up a particularly hefty gun off the table, looking for the Paez Tech label for a clue. “Let’s find out, shall we?” She hoisted it onto her shoulder and pulled the trigger, aiming for a dummy on the other side. A huge ball of acid shot out, melting the dummy’s stomach. 

“Nice,” She murmured, mentally noting to ask Danny to let her use it on their next bad guy capture. Turning back to Candace, she pointed it at her, laughing as Candace tried to scream under the tape. “Nobody messes with my Baby B.” She acted like she was going to shoot, but at the last second lowered the gun, setting it back on the table. 

“You made my best friend call off her engagement with the love of her life and give her no fucking reason why,” She continued, picking up one of the loaded guns off the table. She gave it a spin, really fucking hoping it’d land where she wanted it to. “You threatened a baby?” She aimed at the dummy closest to Candace, pulling the trigger. It fired. “Nice,” She gloated, “Thanks Aaron!” 

She set down the first gun and picked up the second, her own personal pink handgun. “So, I have to tell you a secret. Last night I got really fucked up and I don’t remember if I loaded this or not.” She walked closer to Candace, stopping right in front of her. She was crying, how sweet. 

“Now let’s get into what you did to me, shall we?” She spun the gun around in her hand and tucked it into her bra so she could sit on Candace’s lap. “Let’s see, you made my roommate kick me out at my lowest-” She counted on her fingers, “-You made Kenzi set my family’s house on fire, and what was that last thing? Oh, yeah. You made me fucking. Stab. Myself!” She whipped the gun back out, pressing it to Candace’s cheek. Candace tried as hard as she could to get away, but with her being tied up and all it was proving pretty impossible for her. “Let’s give this baby a try.” She stood up, aiming the gun at Candace’s forehead. “One,” She put her finger on the trigger, “Two,” She took a breath in, steadying herself, “Three.” She pulled the trigger, impulsively closing her eyes. Surprisingly, she heard no shot. “Damn, guess I was that fucked up.” She tossed the gun behind her, and just to show off, aimed a roundhouse kick straight to Candace’s face. 

Just as she was about to give Candace two black eyes, she heard the other girl cough. The tape had come off when she kicked her face and now her mouth was free, unfortunately for Ofelia. “Again, shut the fuck up.” She wound up her fist, ready to punch her teeth out when Candace uttered two words she literally never thought she’d hear.

“I’m pregnant.” 

Fuck. That was Ofelia’s first thought. Then it was confusion. “You’re in an all girls prison? How the fuck is that possible?”

“Oh, no.”

Ofelia spun around when she heard the words from behind her. It was Bailey J and Caleb, no doubt here to stop her from literally killing Candace, and she knew it was Caleb’s voice, but why was he concerned? He’d literally only been to the prison once and... “Fuck.” This time she said it out loud. “Whatever. I don’t give a shit about your demon spawn.” She’d been foiled by pregnancy once before and it wasn’t about to happen again. Pulling her fist back before anyone could stop her, she landed a pretty solid punch straight to Candace’s nose. She listened to the girl groan aloud as she spun around and started walking towards the exit, scooping up her handgun on the way. There was no way she could make eye contact with Caleb, not after she knew Candace was carrying a half angel-half demon baby. “Tell David I’m done,” She called out towards Bailey J, picking up her purse from a nearby chair. “And don’t tell Danny I stole his shit.”

@robbaerywrites

[thesweetestpea1093]

Dancing in the Dark

Sweet PeaXCooper!Reader

Chapter 1

A/N: Hey guys! First chapter! If you’d like to be added to the tag list pls let me know! Full disclosure, I didn’t exactly proof read. If you have any ideas for future chapters then message me and please let me know what you think in the comments :)

Word Count: 2370

What Mackenzie was wearing this chapter:

If you asked anyone in Riverdale a year and a half ago if even a fraction of the tragedies that had happened in this town would occur, they would have laughed in your face. Riverdale once been the ‘town with pep,’ but now it just seemed lifeless.

With Jason Blossom being murdered by his own father last year and the Blossom’s family business being exposed for what it truly was, the citizens of Riverdale thought that would be enough craziness for years to come. But then Fred Andrews was shot in Pop’s. And then Moose Mason and Midge Klump were shot at in their car.

And with Archie Andrews running around spray painting the Southside, waving a gun around like he owns the place, the tensions between the North and South sides of Riverdale had never been so high. Especially with the fight that had happened the other night that everyone was calling the ‘Riverdale Rumble.’ Dilton Doiley had been stabbed, but according to Veronica he had actually stabbed himself, which sounded exactly like something that Dilton would do.

The town’s dislike for the Southside Serpents never really made sense to me. My own mother was once a Serpent and even she can’t stop harassing them in her newspaper.

My mother and father had been busier than usual at the Register. With all these shootings, someone had to report about them. My sister, Polly, was at some farm upstate, pregnant with her’s and Jason Blossom’s children, who also happens to be our cousin. And Betty had been acting really weird ever since the Black Hood sent her a letter.

I had been so busy with dance lately that I hadn’t been able to really stop and think about the Black Hood. Being a competitive dancer means there’s a lot of time I have to commit to training and being at the dance studio. Sometimes I was training up to 25-30 hours a week.

Polly, Betty, and I all started with ballet around the same time when we were younger. I think it had something to do with our parents wanting for all three of us to be out of the house at the same time. But while Polly and Betty had stopped pretty soon after that, I had begged my mom to let me keep dancing.

Dancing was my favorite thing to do. I was at my dance studio more than I was at home, even when I didn’t have class myself, I was teaching or volunteering or rehearsing on my own. My parents were okay with me dancing while I was in high school, but you could see the disappointment on their faces whenever I mentioned wanting to continue afterwards.

Betty and Polly were the ‘golden children’ of the family. More so Betty now that Polly was pregnant and Betty had actually showed an interest in journalism. Their dream is probably for the three of us to work at the Register for the rest of our lives.

Polly, Betty, and I were all a year apart in age and we were all really close when we were younger, but now that Polly had cut off communication with us and Betty was always off investigating things she probably shouldn’t be. And Betty was acting really weird lately. Just a few days ago she had published an old news report in the Blue & Gold about our mom being arrested when she was a Southside Serpent. I mean, I didn’t always get along with our mom, but I would never do something like that.

At the moment, it was 1:00 pm on a Saturday in November. I had just gotten home from teaching some of the kindergartners at the studio all morning and I was exhausted. Those kids really tired me out, but I loved teaching them. If I couldn’t be on Broadway when I got older or if I didn’t grow another 3 inches to be a Rockette then I wouldn’t mind being a dance teacher.

I walked into the house and I saw Betty sitting at the kitchen counter with her laptop out.

“Hey Betts!” I said cheerfully as I walked into the kitchen to refill my water bottle, but she didn’t even look up from her phone. “Okay then…”

“Who’re you texting?” I asked, peaking over her shoulder.

“None of your business, Kenz,” Betty snapped, pulling her phone away from me and slamming her laptop closed.

“Sorry, jeez Betty,” I mumbled back to her. “Calm down.”

She didn’t respond so I decided to change the subject. She seemed really stressed out these past few days and I was really worried about her.

“So remember that little girl in my class I was telling you about last week? The one that was too scared to do her back handspring without me spotting her?” I spoke quickly, really excited for one of my students. “Well she finally did it on her own! The little smile on her face when she realized she did it by herself was so cute! And-”

“God, Kenzie, I really don’t care about your stupid job!” Betty exclaimed.

“What?” I whispered, sort of confused. Betty always loved to hear about the kids at the studio.

“Your life just revolves around the dance studio, Kenz,” she sighed. “If you’re not actually at the studio, you’re talking about it to anyone that will listen.”

“So what? I love dance and I love my job…”

“Sure it’s your job now, but do you really expect to continue after high school? It’s a really competitive industry and-”

“What’re you saying?” I exclaimed. “That I’m not good enough? What the fuck, Betty? You’ve always been supportive even when mom and dad haven’t been. Don’t you believe in me?”

“Maybe mom and dad are right, Kenzie,” she sighed, not meeting my eyes. “I just think you should focus on your grades right now. I know you failed your last chemistry quiz.”

“Yeah well I don’t care about chemistry, Betty,” I spat at her, a few tears leaking out of my eyes. “And you know how important dance is for me. I love it just as much as you love writing and investigating and just because it’s not considered a ‘normal’ career path doesn’t mean it’s any less valid. I can’t believe you would say something like that.”

As I left the room I thought I saw a bit of regret in her eyes, but I didn’t care. She had always been the one person to stand up for me when I got into arguments with mom and dad. We’d gotten into arguments before, but she had never stooped so low.

I grabbed my backpack and stormed out the front door to my bike. I knew Kevin was out today and all my friends from the dance studio lived over in Greendale so even though he was dating my sister, I biked over to Jughead’s.

Jughead, Betty, and I had been friends since we were kids and I was really happy when they started dating, but now it was hard to complain about Betty to him whenever we had problems. But at this point I didn’t care, I just needed to get away from the house and her, even if it’s just for an hour or two.

I got to Sunnyside Trailer Park within minutes and I was banging on Jug’s trailer door, a few tears dripping down my face.

“Kenzie?” Jughead questioned when he opened the door. “Are you okay?”

“I’m just great,” I remarked sarcastically. “That’s why I came here crying and almost knocking your door down.”

“Okay, enough with the sarcasm, Cooper,” he chuckled, gesturing for me to come into the trailer. “Are you gonna tell me why you’re really here?”

“Because your girlfriend went crazy on me and crushed my hopes and dreams,” I muttered as I walked past him.

“Sounds fun,” he replied, dryly.

“Yup… I don’t mean to intrude, but I really just can’t deal with her or my parents right now. Do you mind if I just chill here for a bit?”

“Sure, I’ve got some things to do, but my dad won’t care if you hang out for a bit,” he told me.

“Aww, Juggie!” I exclaimed in a mocking tone. “Did you make some friends? So proud of you.”

“Shut up,” he groaned before abruptly changing the subject. “Betty’s been stressed lately, Kenzie. I’m sure she didn’t mean it.”

“Doesn’t make it hurt any less, Jug,” I muttered.

“I know, I know… but this Black Hood thing has got everyone on edge, that’s all I’m saying. I’ll be back later… it may be awhile, but feel free to stay as long as you want.”

“Thanks, Jughead.”

“No problem. See you later this afternoon… maybe tonight,” he called out to me as he walked out to the front steps of the trailer. Tonight? What was he doing all day?

I had just set my bag down when I heard Jughead outside.

“Archie?” he asked, alarmed.

Archie? What the hell was he doing here?

“We gotta talk, Jug,” Archie responded.

“Uhh, now is really not a good time, okay?” Jug told him as he jogged down the stairs. “You need to leave, kay? You gotta go.”

“What? Why? What’s going on?”

“I’m serious! You’re just gonna have to-” Jug was interrupted then by a deep voice.

“What the hell do we have here?” the voice said as it rounded the corner of the trailer. I peeked my head out the door, curious who it was. I couldn’t help but gasp a little bit when I saw some Southside Serpents coming around the corner of Jughead’s trailer. I wasn’t necessarily scared for myself, but for the confrontation that was sure to happen between them and Archie Andrews.

“He’s just leaving, alright?” Jughead walked forward to meet the tallest one with the Serpent tattoo on his neck and a dark black eye.

“Wait?” Archie interrupted. “You’re friends with these thugs?”

“It’s not what you think,” Jug turned to look at Archie.

“Are you joining the Serpents?” Archie asked him.

“If he survives,” the Serpent said ominously before Jughead could respond. “And go ahead and call us thugs one more time…”

“Jughead!” Archie exclaimed. “These are the guys who attacked me! Who attacked Reggie, and Veronica, and Dilton! Your friends!”

At this point I couldn’t help the snort that came out of my body when I tried to hold in my laughter in regards to Archie’s comment. Everyone turned to look at me at that moment and I turned pink at their attention.

“Kenzie?” Archie asked incredulously. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Getting away from my psycho sister, that’s why… not offense to your girlfriend, of course, Jughead,” I told him matter-of-factly.

“Go home,” Archie said. “You don’t belong here.”

“Neither do you, Andrews!” I exploded at him and his eyes widened in surprise at my outburst. I hadn’t ever stood up to him before, but I was so done with him thinking he was better than everyone else. “You’re acting all high and mighty about the Rumble, but don’t forget that you’re the one who came on the Serpent’s turf and threatened them with a fucking gun, you dumbass!”

“Yeah, but they stabbed Dilton, Kenzie!” he yelled out. “You don’t know anything that happened that night!”

“I know that Dilton Doiley stabbed himself, Archie… everyone knows that. I wouldn’t be surprised if even the police knew that and they were just using it as an excuse to bring in Southsiders as scapegoats. And obviously you did some damage too… I’ll pay you a million dollars right here, right now if you’re not the one that gave Skyscraper over there that nice black eye,” I bit back, pointing over at the Serpent with the neck tattoo.

Archie just huffed and turned back around to face Jughead, figuring he wasn’t going to get anywhere with me. I smirked and flipped him off with both hands when he wasn’t looking and I actually think I got a small smile from some of the Serpents, Skyscraper included.

“Wait,” Jughead started. “Is that why you’re here? To warn me?” “No. I came here to tell you to stay away from Betty. She doesn’t wanna see you anymore,” Archie told him and I rolled my eyes. What was wrong with this girl? Is she trying to piss off all her friends and family?

“Screw you,” Jug responded after a few seconds of silence. “I just saw Betty yesterday… she was fine…”

“No, dude. She’s been wanting to break up with you for weeks… she’s been agonizing over it since you crossed the dark side… she couldn’t bring herself to do it,” Archie kept explaining my sister’s stupid decisions.

“So she sent you?” Jughead was clearly distressed. “Betty would never do that!”

“If you don’t believe me then call her!” Archie started to raise his voice. “And feel free to tell her you’re a Serpent now, I bet she’ll love that. She saw where you were headed, Jughead… we all did. And she knows you can’t be with them and her. And come on, man! You know it too.”

I had never seen Jughead look so defeated in all the years that I’d known him. I was gonna have a long chat with Betty tonight when I got home. All I wanted was to hug him, but it didn’t seem appropriate in front of everyone here. And maybe he wouldn’t want to see me now that him and Betty were broken up.

“... tell Betty I got the message,” Jug responded lowly, glaring at Archie.

“Yeah…” Archie muttered before walking back to his truck.

Jughead turned to look at the Serpents at this point, clearly upset.

“What?” he asked them harshly as Skyscraper crossed his arms over his chest. “Did you enjoy the show?”

“The show hasn’t even started yet,” Skyscraper responded to him.

“Well that sounds ominous,” I joked, grabbing my bag from inside the trailer before walking down the stairs. “I’m gonna head out Jughead. Something is seriously wrong with my sister and I’m gonna go slap some sense into her.”

“See you around, Kenz,” he sighed.

“See you around, Juggie.”

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BODY AND SOUL Part 23 (Duncan Shepherd/Mackenzie Stone Millory AU)

BODY AND SOUL MASTERPOST

Author’s Note: So we’re finally right before the Gala. I’m high-key proud of myself and frankly can’t believe I made it here, and yet, here I am, doing it, doing the work, every day, and feeling so fulfilled by it I can’t really describe its effect on me in words. This project has changed me fundamentally and made me confident in my ability to do what I’ve always wanted to do: write fiction. I know I’ll continue to write fiction when this story is done. I’ll continue to do it for the rest of my life. And that is profoundly moving for a person who spent the first decade of her adulthood doubting herself to an insane degree, avoiding her destiny, trying to write literally anything else because fiction scared her so much. So here’s my moment to be proud of myself! Okay, moving on. If you’re interested in more about the history of Cartier LOVE bracelets, there’s a lot about them on Wikipedia, but they indeed cannot be removed without the screwdriver. Here’s Duncan’s duffel they bring to Madeline’s. Here’s Norah Jones’ COME AWAY WITH ME, which I’ve always found to be achingly romantic. I didn’t realize Klimt had painted Athena until I was looking up some of his work for this part, and of course I had to include it in Madeline’s house, mirrored with Duncan’s own Athena--here. I grew up with the Muppets, so I gave Kenzie a Kermit. Billie really did call her grandmother, Debbie Reynolds, Abadaba. Here is the chicken and mushrooms recipe Madeline makes. Here are the Carpenters songs they listen to on the deck: WE’VE ONLY JUST BEGUN, TOP OF THE WORLD, CLOSE TO YOU (I love the Carpenters). I had so much fun writing Madeline’s dialogue. As a weed smoker,  I can vouch for the fact that it really does help dampen hangovers. I based Duncan being bullied on the fact that Cody was likewise bullied when he was in school--he talked about it a bit at his SXSW interview. Here is Kenzie’s mustard dress. Claire’s dress. I posted Kenzie’s Gala dress long ago when I first found it (right after I started writing B&S and realized there was a novels-worth of stuff Duckenzie wanted to tell me), and here I finally got a chance to describe it, which was wonderful, cuz I been waitin’. The real version is by Hamda Al Fahim, an incredible Emirati designer who makes exquisitely beautiful fairy-tale-esque gowns. This blazer was my main inspiration for Duncan’s--it’s not quite as nice as his is, but you get the idea (it’s also something like this Saint Laurent velvet blazer, but without those light lapels). His collar tips are something like this, but much fancier and more intricate, and made of real gold. I am so fucking proud of this chapter. As ever, if you’re reading and enjoying the fic, your comments, reblogs, likes and asks and edits mean everything to me.

“Just out of curiosity, what’s your first memory? Your first memory of her.”

Duncan had known in that moment, in fact. He clutched Kenzie’s hand in the backseat of the BMW as Samuel drove them towards Arlington and Madeline, obsessing over the conversation with Claire Underwood for the hundredth time that day, his tears dried now but his mind in no less chaos. I knew even then. As soon as she asked me. As I’ve always known, somewhere in the back of my mind, hidden deep in my psyche. I’ve always known that there was something about me that didn’t fit against Annette Shepherd. That there were parts of me far more hidden than I ever dreamed. And I’m not a fucking Shepherd. I don’t know who the fuck I am.

Kenzie was running her soft little fingers through his, the pad of her thumb crooked into the dip of his hand, and he could feel her face turning to him, glancing at him with worried, bright eyes. He ached at her worry; ached at the sadness that waved out from her onto him, a sadness prompted by his own, a sadness he couldn’t entirely will away. The locking Cartier bracelet glinted now on her wrist pressed against him--its gold and diamonds caught the falling neon lights outside, the street lamps. The other bracelet, of solely solid gold, was around his, and they brushed against each other, cool and smooth, their fingers twined tightly.

Kenzie had called her mother. “Momby, something’s happened--can we come see you? We’ll tell you everything when we get there. Yes, I’m fine. Yes, Duncan’s okay. Well, physically, he’s okay. It’s about Annette. No, she’s not hurt. It’s something else. Can we talk about it when we get there? Duncan’s just--he needs us. Yes, Momby. No. We can order pizza or something. Okay. We’ll be there in like half an hour. Momby can--can we sleep there? In my old room? Yeah. I love you to the moon and back. See you soon.” Then Kenzie had gently pressed him toward the walk-in closet, and said “Dunny, get some things to sleep at Momby’s, okay?” And he’d obeyed, feeling dazed and on the verge of tears again, pulling down one of his leather duffels, absently throwing things inside it. Nothing seemed to matter in this moment--nothing but being near Kenzie, and he felt vague panic now that she wasn’t touching him. Annette is not my mother. Who is my mother? Who the fuck am I? Oh god, baby. Oh god. But Kenzie had returned in a moment, their toothbrushes and some toiletries in her hands, and she piled them in the duffel, then added a few other things-little white lacy underwear, a mustard-colored sleeveless lace dress, her flat lacing sandals, the Tiffany moon necklace, his big black cardigan he now considered to be hers--she seemed to know Duncan wanted her things in his bag, with his, seemed to know it would comfort him, the scent of her on his clothes. She can hear me. You can hear me, baby. You know. Thank you. I love you. I’m afraid, baby. I’m scared.

As Kenzie had finished packing her things in among his, Duncan had gone out to the kitchen, remembering what he’d gotten for her, and retrieved the red Cartier boxes from the island. He’d come back to see Kenzie emerging from the closet with his duffel clutched in her hand, and she’d set it back on the floor as he handed one of the boxes to her in the quiet, fading sunlight of the bedroom, not saying anything. Kenzie had opened the box as he opened his, and her little hand had come up to clutch against her throat, her eyes clouding with tears; Duncan could already tell she’d been crying earlier (crying alone, like I was), her face puffy from the residue of them and her sleep, but it seems today is full of tears--at least these are the happy kind, I think.

“They call them love bracelets,” he’d said to her quietly. “They can only be taken off with these.” He carefully picked the little screwdriver out from the side of the inner lining of the red box that held his, and lifted it out to her, flat in his palm. Duncan’s heart ached, desperately, in this moment--I am offering only myself, aren’t I, Kenzie. All of me, but only me, my faults, my sorrows, my anger, my sense of loss, my loneliness and my confusion, my temper, my flaws. These things I offer alongside my hopes and my dreams, my love for you. But no longer the Shepherd name. That name isn’t really mine. I don’t know what my name is. I offer you the indistinct self that remains. He watched her face in the fading light; the little bob of her throat, her hands trembling. He thought, wildly--I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve your love. You’re an angel, and I’m no one.

“They’re so beautiful, Dunny. Let’s put them on each other. May I?”

He’d nodded, eyes filling with tears again, biting his lip to stop them, feeling an ache in his mind, the ache of the terribleness of this day, the ache of her acceptance, lost in his relief towards her. Kenzie had leaned up to kiss him, her eyes closed, her eyelashes casting tiny shadows on her cheeks--her mouth was terribly soft and made him moan into her with succor. Saint Mackenzie, who consoles. Her touch alone heals me--reaches down into my secret heart, and presses it to her holy mouth, her kisses sweet beyond measure.

“I love you so very much,” she had whispered, and Kenzie had set her box down on the island; lifted the gold bracelet from the box he held with one hand, the little gold screwdriver with the other, and stared at him for a moment with an expression of devotion and trust in her eyes that shook him to the core of his being. Then, she used the screwdriver to unlock the bracelet, glittering in her hands--had ever so gently linked it around his wrist, bending her head over him to lock it into place. Duncan had lifted his other hand as she did this, pressing it down the dip of her hair, feeling another wave of tears cascade from his eyes, falling freely down his cheeks, and he’d shivered, shivered with the feeling of the hand of Fate on them again. You are my Soulmate, Mackenzie Stone. You are exalted above all others in my eyes. And next to you, all others have no hold over me. Not even Annette. No one. Kenzie looked up into his eyes as the bracelet clicked closed--his face fell against hers and he kissed her again, and she had whispered “Dunny, I love you, I love you, baby, I will always love you, I’m here, oh baby, it’s okay, I love you, more than anything, I’m yours--” and he could feel himself nodding, hands coming around into her hair, lost in her comforting voice. They stood pressed together, quietly, Kenzie’s voice drifting into silence, his mouth pressing up against her forehead, her fingers running along the gold bracelet around his wrist, now tethered against him (I’ll never take it off, never) and Duncan could feel her pressing her golden comfort into his body, and the wrenching sorrow he had felt was melting away into a duller, smaller pain, a distant sting.

“Now, do me.” Kenzie’s fingers trailed over the gold around Duncan’s wrist for a moment, then she handed him the box that held her bracelet--the diamonds glittered in the low light of the drop chandelier over their heads as he opened it, and Duncan noticed, almost removed from himself, that his fingers were trembling too. He tried to grip the screwdriver and fumbled with it, almost dropped it--Kenzie had gripped his hand and steadied it, and he’d breathed out, ragged, lost in the feeling of her hand. Then he’d felt her pressing into his mind again, felt her golden comfort, and his heart was relieved, the burden lifted away from it so he could see her clearly, see how trusting she was to him in this moment, see how luminously beautiful she was in the halo of this promise, the glow of the love that drifted between them. He grasped her little wrist, sliding the unlocked bracelet onto it, and his head dipped down to press his lips against her hand. My Kenzie, more beautiful than a starry sky. My moonlight, healing every corner of me, every dark place.

His hands quieted--almost removed from them, he watched himself lock the bracelet deftly against her, hearing the tininess of the mechanism clicking into place. Then he raised his eyes to hers. He could see her lip trembling, the fall of her golden hair shimmering in the fading light. You are mine. I am yours. You are never alone as long as I am breathing in this world. And even when I’m not, my spirit cannot be parted from yours for long. You know it as I do. Beloved. Forever. Beyond time.

“Let’s go see Momby, baby.”

Now they were quiet in the backseat, Samuel having closed the partition, giving them solitude with each other. Duncan glanced down at his watch--it was just after 8, and they’d been driving for awhile, maybe 20 minutes, out of downtown and toward Madeline’s house. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, but he ignored it, fingers clenching around Kenzie’s, trying to concentrate on the song that played low and soft: come away with me in the night, come away with me and I will write you a song...come away with me on a bus, where they can’t tempt us with their lies...he wished he could roll down the window and throw his phone away, let it fall over the bypass Samuel was crossing, let it disappear into thin air. I don’t care about anything and I can’t talk to anyone and I don’t want to see anybody but you and Madeline, he thought, and knew she could hear, knew she was listening as she dipped her head against his chest, warm and soft and smelling of rose and vetiver. Her thumb trailed across his palm, and where they touched she seemed to be weaving sigils of gold into his skin. I can’t help it--my heart fucking aches. I want to bury my face in your hair baby my sweet baby and cry until I can’t breathe. Cry until the tears dry up and I don’t have any left, I love you just you and you only and you are my constant comfort, my only One, what would I do without you, what would I do…

You don’t have to wonder, my Prince. I’m here. You found me. You’re safe in my arms.

Duncan couldn’t look at her--he was too close to tears again. He looked down at the bracelet on her wrist instead, fingers trailing over the gold and the glimmering diamonds, then at his, its gold steady, shining. I’ll lose the key on purpose, he thought to her. I’ll never take it off. Never. Kenzie sighed against him, and he felt the golden mixture of contentment and sadness in her--the sadness was for him, empathetic and overwhelming to him. What I feel from her is so extraordinary and so staggering in its loveliness. To feel her love for me this way is beyond all my dreams. To know its truth this way is indescribable.

And I want to walk with you on a cloudy day, in fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high, so won’t you try to come, come away with me

“I won’t let anyone take mine off me but you,” she whispered up to him, and finally he felt like smiling. “Only you, baby.” His ear had dipped down to listen to her, and her little mouth pressed against his stubbled cheek. Duncan closed his eyes, pushing the image of Claire Underwood’s expression when she told him to ask his mother where he came from out of his mind--pushing away the image of his mother walking away from him as he stood near the elevator in his uncle’s huge house (but he’s not really my uncle, is he), leaving him to the coldness of his realization, forgotten. Just be here with Kenzie right now. Forget everything else. Duncan lost himself in the drift of her scent, her softness, the golden touch of her mind--he didn’t realize the BMW had stopped, pulled up in front of a lovely brick Cape Cod-style house, warm with light from within spilling onto hydrangea bushes under the windows.

“Here we are, baby, come on,” and Kenzie was pulling him softly out of the backseat. He stood on the sidewalk, feeling dizzy; Kenzie was gripping the duffel in her hands, and he shook his head, taking it from her. She smiled at him; a smile tinged with worry. She leaned down to speak to Samuel, but Duncan felt like he was underwater, like he couldn’t hear--he gazed at Madeline’s house, still feeling dazed, as Samuel drove away and Kenzie gripped his hand again.

“Come on, baby, come on,” and she was pulling him to Madeline’s wooden front door, rapping on it insistently before digging in her satchel for her keys. Duncan turned to look out at the fading light--the sun still hadn’t quite set, and the world seemed to be bathed in a deceptively lovely glow, the quietness of the surrounding houses serene. He felt untethered from reality for a moment;  he freed a hand from the duffel’s strap to twist his fingers around Kenzie’s hair, against her back. Touching her brought immediate relief; brought him back to solid ground. Kenzie was still fumbling for her keys when the door came open--Madeline stood there, her clean linen and dark wine scent wafting out toward where he and her daughter stood on her stoop. Her glasses had dark purple frames today, and she wore a black camisole top with a black cardigan pushed up around her elbows, a long silvery necklace with a jade stone dangling down her torso, her feet bare below baggy, worn denim jeans folded up at her ankles. She pursed her lips at them, not unkindly--then she shifted her gaze intently onto him, lifted her hands to him from her scant height (she seems even smaller than Kenzie somehow, though I think they’re about the same height--like mother, like daughter, ridiculously tiny) and gestured to him, dipping her fingers out and then back towards her body.

“Come here, Duncan. Come here.”

Duncan’s eyes went misty again--Kenzie was taking the duffel back from him and he was stepping into Madeline Stone’s deeply, instantly comforting embrace, stepping into the cool cocoon of her house, out of the balmy summer evening. He had to hunch to reach her--Madeline lifted up to him, and the feeling of her was instantly soothing. Like mother, like daughter.

“Now, now.” Her voice was against his hair. “My future son-in-law. What in the world. You look like you saw your own ghost.”

Duncan fought the urge to shudder against her. How wonderful, Kenzie, to have Madeline hugs all your life. He could smell warm kitchen smells wafting towards where they stood--spices and the savoriness of chicken, pepper, garlic--Kenzie food, he realized, and his stomach rumbled, and he realized he was starving.

Madeline pulled away from him when he didn’t speak, looking up into his face again, pursing her lips, concern flitting behind her glasses. Kenzie stood on the stoop behind him, and he saw Madeline glance into her daughter’s eyes, knew she saw the worry there.

“I’m going to make you a very strong long island iced tea,” Madeline said, matter-of-factly. “And then we’re all going to sit on the deck and eat dinner. And you’re going to tell me everything. Kenzie, take that into the bedroom, okay? Show Duncan.”

Madeline stepped away from them, past a staircase near the entrance, through a living room with an oak-framed fireplace (Duncan could see the glint of Madeline’s Pulitzer on the wall), into another room he assumed must be the kitchen, where the wonderful smells were coming from. Kenzie moved past him, setting the bag down again to unbuckle her sandals and leave them on a mat by the door. Duncan leaned down to slide off his Wyatt boots, mimicking her. He stood there in Madeline’s front doorway, still feeling dazed. “Come on, baby, this way,” Kenzie said, pushing him toward the stairs, closing the door. She gripped his hand and he felt the gold bracelets on their wrists clink against each other, comfortingly--Duncan grabbed the duffel as she led him up the steps, past the first doorway (a bathroom), to one in the middle of a hall, this door shut.

Kenzie pushed it open--the interior was a sensibly furnished guest room. On the walls were several prints of Klimt paintings; Duncan was struck by them instantly, amazed that they were all from Klimt’s well-known “golden” period, including Pallas Athene (women in gold, high on Olympus, he thought again, these Stone women), reminding him of his own Athena in the penthouse living room, her head bent, her expression all-knowing. He noticed one was The Kiss; it was right over the headboard of the bed. The duvet was velvety burgundy, and a plush Kermit the Frog toy was nestled between the pillows.

“This room used to be mine after we moved here when I was in middle school, but Momby made it into a spare room when I left for Georgetown. This Kermie is mine,” Kenzie said, throwing the duffel onto the bed and grabbing onto the toy with both hands . “My Abadaba got him for me when I was a baby. My grandma, I mean. She passed away two years ago.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” Duncan watched her in the dim light--there was a part of him that knew that though the memory of her grandmother was sad for her, Kenzie was talking mostly to distract him, and he felt a wave of aching affection for her.

“She was wonderful. She was a lot more structured than Momby in some ways. She was a singer--she used to sing this funny song in nightclubs called Abadaba Honeymoon, it was about monkeys singing in trees. So I called her Abadaba. I always did. She would have loved you.”

Kenzie came up to him with the Kermit still clutched in her arms, and Duncan had a vision of her as a little girl, dragging one of the toy’s arms through the mud, having tea parties with it, falling asleep with it clutched against her at night. He could see one of Kermit’s eyes was beginning to unravel from its socket, and its legs and arms were fraying. Kenzie went up on her tip-toes and kissed him--Duncan brought his hands around her cheeks, holding her against him for a moment, loving the feeling of her little dress pressed to him, drifting on the edge of laughter, the pleasant energy in her mother’s house, and more tears, still feeling lost inside his emotions.

Kenzie leaned the Kermit doll’s face up to Duncan for a moment and pressed it on his cheek, pursing her lips and making a kissing sound. “There. All better. Momby used to do that when I was sad. There. All better. Worry to the wind, she would say. My Abadaba used to say that, too.” She turned to a wicker chair in the corner, a woven checkered blanket draped over it, and put the Kermit doll there carefully. Duncan felt unable to speak, unable to think, unable to do anything but stand and watch her. I wish I could forget myself entirely and just get lost in her. Just dissolve into her and become a part of her. I love everything about her. Her hands and her lips and her cheeks, her hair, her wonderful eyes with her beautiful soul whirling inside them, the little laughs she lets out and her little teeth, her bare feet, her curvy hips under my hands. How thoughtful she is, how kind, how sensitive, her memories, her dreams. She’s an angel and I don’t deserve her.

Kenzie was looking at him, her eyes clouded again. He dipped his head away from her.

“You do, though, baby,” and her voice shivered. She’d heard him. “You are the person I love most in the world. In all of the Milky Way. In all of the universe. You do deserve me. You’re my beloved. You are exalted in my eyes.”

The last part came out of her with strange conviction; where have we heard that before? He wondered again. When was the first time I heard you say that to me? It’s so odd. I don’t remember, and yet I feel like I’ve never not heard it from you. As though you’ve said it to me a thousand times.

Kenzie broke the spell, reaching for him, pulling him out the door, back down the stairs. She led him through the living room he’d glimpsed by the front door, and his eyes fell on a photo on the wall--Kenzie smiling and walking down a ramp in her graduation gown and cap, her hands lifting up in triumph. I want more pictures of her at home, he thought. One in every room. I need one on my desk. He remembered the photograph of him and Annette that had sparked the realization in him after Claire Underwood’s question, and felt bitterness seep into the back of his throat, his psyche threatening to delve down into melancholy again, but then Kenzie was pulling him into Madeline’s bright, warm kitchen, and he could see Madeline’s back retreating through a screen door in the far corner, onto a deck with a view of the hills behind the house. There were a few bowls on the small table in the corner, and Kenzie let go of his hand to grip one--it had mashed sweet potatoes in it. There was a tray of the promised long island iced teas--three of them, in fact, in huge tumblers, shivering with round ice cubes.  Duncan gripped it and followed Kenzie out onto the deck. The sun had finally faded past the horizon and Madeline had put The Carpenters on low, Karen emanating from a little stereo on the edge of the wooden railing that surrounded the deck. And when the evening comes, we smile, so much of life ahead, we’ll find a place where there’s room to grow, and yes, we’ve just begun…

Madeline had made them baked chicken with mushrooms--a dinner Kenzie was obviously trying to contain her excitement over--and she’d already begun delving it out onto thick paper plates at a glass deck table. Duncan pulled one of the metal-framed deck chairs out for Kenzie as she set the sweet potatoes down. “Thanks, baby,” she murmured, dipping up to kiss him. He noticed Madeline’s eyes skirt over them, glancing at her shyly, self-consciously, as Kenzie broke away from him and sat as he pushed her chair in.

“I’m not much for the internet, but even I’ve heard about how crazy everyone is online about you two lately,” Madeline said, passing one of the plates to Duncan, who nodded at her gratefully. She dished out their tall drinks next, holding hers aloft so they could toast each other. “I think I’m gonna start selling Kenzie’s autographs for extra cash.”

“Momby,” Kenzie whined, taking a sip of her drink. She coughed a little. “Dammit, Momby, how much vodka is in this?”

“It’s mostly vodka,” Madeline replied, spooning sweet potatoes onto her plates and pushing the bowl towards her daughter. Duncan took a long drink from his tumbler. “Cheers to that,” he murmured. Fine by me. Thanks Madeline.

“So,” and Madeline collapsed into her chair. There were fireflies out in the yard, Duncan could see them winking in the dim fairy lights that lined Madeline’s wooden deck. Kenzie was already digging into her chicken enthusiastically with a fork, staring between the food and Duncan’s face, as if sheepish to be so into her dinner when his day had been so difficult. He glanced at her, smiling, baby, I’m okay, then picked up his fork as well, but not before taking another long gulp of the mostly-vodka-with-a-little-iced-tea drink Madeline had made for him. The chicken was delicious--savory and spicy, and it warmed him to the center of his being, calming his nerves again, dispersing the dizziness in his mind.

“Madeline, this is excellent,” he said, looking up at her.

“Of course it fucking is, baby,” she replied, popping the straw in her drink into her mouth. He laughed a little at that, nodding. Madeline fucking Stone. One of a kind.

“One of you is gonna tell me what happened today, after you’ve had something to eat.” Madeline forked sweet potatoes into her mouth after this statement, with finality. “At least you don’t look white as a fucking sheet anymore, Duncan, sweetpea.”

“What are you going to wear to the Gala tomorrow, Momby?” Kenzie asked, her tawny hair falling over her shoulder, popping mushrooms into her mouth.

“Nobody is gonna give a shit what I’m wearing, dearest daughter of mine,” Madeline replied, her eyes still on Duncan. He could feel the discerning, minute intelligence in her gaze. What did Annette do this time, she seemed to be wondering. “I have some old Calvin Klein stuff, maybe one of those.”

“Momby, there’s a theme, you have to dress according to the theme.”

“I can just slap a gold scarf on or something, honey, everyone’s going to be looking at you two anyway.”

Kenzie blushed and fell silent. She knows Madeline’s right. Karen was singing a different song now, her clear voice ringing out into the warm night. And the only explanation I can find, is the love that I’ve found, ever since you’ve been around...your love’s put me at the top of the world…

Duncan had devoured most of his chicken now, sitting back in the metal chair. He realized he was utterly exhausted--the anguish of this day had pressed on him like an anvil at his back, and the mere idea of the Gala tomorrow sent sharp spikes of anxiety into his mind. I don’t fucking want to see Annette. Not at all. I don’t think I can talk to her right now. I don’t think I can talk to her for awhile. I don’t...I need time. He caught Madeline’s eye again, took another long gulp of the vodka, and then he spoke.

“I went to see Claire Underwood today. I had a meeting with the President--an unsanctioned one. She had agreed to speak with me, and I thought...I thought I could build some kind of bridge between her and Shepherd Unlimited. Madeline--you know. You know I want to change the company. But I didn’t have a chance to be clear with Claire about that before she told me something. Something that she knew would hurt me...something to get at Annette.”

“She told you that you were adopted.”

Duncan gazed at Madeline in shock. “You knew that?”

“No, honey. No, I didn’t know. I suspected it, though. One day Annette’s wandering around in the world, not looking remotely pregnant, and the next day there you are, as if you sprang fully-formed from her head, like Athena popping out of Zeus. I had my suspicions for awhile, yes, but it’s not like Annette and I were on speaking terms, dear. It was just a hunch.”

Duncan was quiet at that--his mind ached again. Fuck, Duncan. Don’t jump down people’s throats. The only person who is at fault for not telling you is Annette. She’s your mother--at least,  that’s what she always told you. It was her responsibility alone.

“I’m sorry, Madeline.”

Kenzie reached for his hand, and Duncan grasped it, gratefully, his breath coming out in a ragged gasp again. He drank at the vodka, drank it down to the bottom. Madeline stood up, holding a finger up. Hang on. She gripped his empty glass and disappeared into the kitchen. Kenzie leaned her head down to him, speaking softly.

“Baby, are you okay? Do you not wanna talk about it anymore?”

“No, Kenzie. It’s okay. I do want to talk about it. It’s--I think it’s the only thing that’s going to make me actually feel better.”

Kenzie nodded to him, eyes falling back onto her plate. Kenzie, I love you. I love how you’re always thinking about how I feel. I love you. If I didn’t have you right now, I don’t know what the fuck I would do. Thank you for this. This is helping so much. I feel so much better already. I really do. Her eyes came back up into his as she heard him, and she smiled, biting her lip a little, kindling his desire, despite his melancholy. My little moonbeam. He squeezed her hand as Madeline came back onto the deck with a fresh drink for him.

“This one is vodka with a dash of seltzer. And I put a lemon in there for you.” She held another in her other hand, even though her first was only half-drunk. Duncan grinned at her as she fell back into her seat. The vodka was starting to settle into him and the events of today were starting to seem far away, dull, the bitterness melting.

“Duncan, I don’t know if this is going to actually comfort you, but Annette does love you.”

“If she loves me so much why didn’t she fucking tell me? I’m 30 years old. She had time.”

“If you want me to explain Annette Shepherd’s psyche, sweetpea, I’m afraid there’s no chance I can help you with that. No one the world over has ever been able to crack that rock-hard outward shell of hers. She’s horribly stubborn. She’s cold as a witch’s tit in Dante’s ninth circle of Hell. She can be a real cunt. But she loves you. Maybe in her eyes, keeping it from you was akin to love. Maybe she thought you’d be happier not knowing.”

“I might have been.” The vodka crashed against him. He moved in his seat, leaning closer to Kenzie, and she reached her little hand out under the table, settling it onto his thigh. He sighed at the feeling of her; gold waves. I love you, Dunny, she was thinking. I can’t wait to hold you close, whisper sweetness into your ear, feel you against me in the dark. I’ll soothe you, my beloved. I’ll soothe you so entirely. You know how I can soothe you.

“So, then, if you can’t necessarily empathize with her reasoning, you can at least understand it.”

“I…” Duncan dipped his hand under his chin, ran his fingers along his bottom lip, trying to dampen Kenzie’s thrall on his mind, enough to concentrate on what Madeline was saying. It wasn’t easy--Kenzie’s wave was like a heady drug he longed to get lost inside of. “I suppose so.”

Madeline seemed to notice the energy that was building between the two of them, even if there was no possibility of her knowing the true intensity of it. Her eyes were skirting over her glasses between Kenzie’s bright eyes focused on him and his nervous expression between the two of them. Yes, it’s true, Madeline, your daughter and I can read each other’s thoughts and anticipate each other’s needs, he imagined saying to her. Get a fucking load of that. A lot has happened in the past two weeks, a lot more than I could ever find words for. I guess I should be considering the big picture, honestly. Finding out I’m adopted is on the lower end of unbelievable things that have happened to me lately.

But no. I’m fucking devastated.

“I’m not a Shepherd, Madeline.”

“You should thank your lucky stars for that, sweetpea. The genes there are all fucked up. Generations of inbreeding in aristocratic families.” Madeline said all of this so drily Duncan couldn’t help but snort with laughter.

“Momby.” Kenzie rolled her eyes at her mother, clenched her teeth.

“I’m serious, though. You don’t want to be a Shepherd, Duncan. Not really. You want the best of what being a Shepherd could potentially be. The resources of the Shepherd name. And they are as good as guaranteed to be yours already. Imagine what you can do with that company, sweetpea. Imagine. Imagine how many people you can help. Imagine the joy you can spread. You don’t need to be a Shepherd by blood. You just need to be a Shepherd on paper. And you are.”

“That reminds me. I need to ask you for something. A very large favor.”

“Sweetie,” Madeline downed the rest of her first drink and pulled her second toward her. “With that face I’d probably sign my house over to you if you asked me really nicely.”

“I’d like to officially ask you to be on the Shepherd Unlimited board of directors. I asked Kenzie already--” he glanced at her, and Kenzie smiled at him, then looked at her mother.

“I said yes, Momby. I think I’m going to need to resign from the Post eventually to do it. But I want to do it. And I want you to do it with us. And so does Duncan.”

“Resign?”

“I think so, Momby. I think--I think it’s time for me to write my book. And I feel like this is the right thing to do. We need your help.”

Madeline sighed deeply. It was not an angry sigh; it wasn’t even annoyed. It was as though she was closing one door, and when the sigh ended, opening another one. It was as though she was letting go of her need to worry over Kenzie--letting go of her apprehension, and falling into the realization that Duncan would indeed be person who would love her daughter with complete devotion. And I fucking will, Madeline. I swear I fucking will. Every fucking day. And on the days I mess up, I’ll do whatever I can to make up for it the next day. There will never come a day when I won’t try to give Kenzie everything she has ever wanted. There is no joy for me now that doesn’t anticipate and stem from her joy.

“You got it, kids.”

“Momby! Yes! Fuck yes!” Kenzie lept out of her chair, running around to her mother, throwing her arms round Madeline’s neck, burying her face in the crook of her mother’s hair. Madeline closed her eyes, but Duncan could see her smile. She opened them as Kenzie continued to clutch her, and they looked at each other--she nodded to him a little, and Duncan felt like he understood. Hey you. You over there. I love you too. I’m doing this for you, too. He felt the drift of tears float into his cheeks again. Not right now. Later, when Kenzie’s holding you in the dark, you know that’s when you will. And she won’t mind. Your sweet Kenzie with the golden touch will hold you and let you cry. She always will.

“Let’s smoke a bowl.”

Madeline disentangled herself from Kenzie’s tight embrace and her daughter (Kenz, angel baby) helped her out of the deck chair. She disappeared into the house again and Kenzie slid around to Duncan, leaning down to his cheek, her lips trailing along the line of his stubble. The revelations of the day felt very far away now, and Duncan felt hazy with tiredness, drunk on Madeline’s strong cocktails, and full of aching desire for Kenzie--Kenzie, from whom all goodness flows.

“Oh god, baby. That feels so good. Come here.” He pulled her down into his lap, anxious to be closer to her. He thought of that first night on the balcony--that sensation that they were touching before they had even truly touched, that vibrating energy between them, heavy and intensely charged. To touch you, my love, to really touch you, to be able to touch you always, I can’t describe how beautiful that is. I am more than blessed. To be chosen by you is beyond all beauty I’ve ever experienced.

“Do you feel better, baby,” Kenzie whispered against his lips, and he dipped them up to her mouth, insistent, nodding, the scent of roses and geraniums and her sweet skin in his nose.

“Uh huh. Much better. Kiss me, angel, please baby, please.” Kenzie sat with both her legs dipped over his thigh, stretching her arms out around his neck (Duncan felt the cool edge of the gold bracelet on his skin there, glanced down at his own now against her waist, his heart twinging), her eyes teasing him (dark green, shining gold), then she was tasting him deeply, her hair falling down against his cheeks, and Duncan suddenly wanted her alone, wanted the comfort of her body pressed against his, naked and so soft and so light under his fingers, arching into his touch. Fuck. I missed you so much today, angel. When I realized--when I knew Annette wasn’t my real mother--all I wanted was to feel you in my arms. Because you are my true family. My only beloved. And nothing else matters as long as you’re beside me.

I always will be, Duncan. You and me, baby.

Madeline was coming back and Kenzie broke away from him, her cheeks flushed, both of them breathing harshly. Madeline gazed over at them lazily, a pink and purple blown-glass smoking bowl gripped between two fingers, a BIC lighter in the other.

“Don’t let me break up the mood, Kenzie Lou,” she murmured facetiously. Kenzie blushed up at her mother, taking the bowl as Madeline handed it down to her. She leaned the mouthpiece toward Duncan’s lips and he pressed them into it, breathing in as she lit the bowl. She pulled it away as he breathed out, breathing in herself from the still-lit embers, then leaned down to kiss him again, blowing out into his mouth as she did. There. Fuck the world, baby. Just me and you. Then, Kenzie handed the bowl back to her mother, who’d already sat back down. Madeline lit it again and breathed deeply.

“Thank you for dinner, Madeline,” Duncan said, his mind an ocean shoreline now, the tide drifting in and out. He pulled on Kenzie’s waist, clutching her closer to him, and she dipped her face down into his neck, her arms still around his shoulders. On the day that you were born the angels got together, Karen sang, and decided to create a dream come true...Kenzie was singing along softly into his ear, and Duncan shivered, pressing down against her lips. “So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold,” that’s you he thought, hand drifting at her spine, “and starlight in your eyes of blue--”

And that’s you, baby, he felt her push into him, against his thought to her. That’s your eyes.

“You just owe me another night out on the town, sweetpea.” Madeline puffed at the bowl again, gazing up at where the moon had risen--it was gigantic and glowing, corn-yellow in the balmy night. “You can make it my first official work expense as your employee.”

“The first of many,” Duncan replied, “yes, ma’am.”

They all lingered there for awhile, not speaking, listening to the peepers and watching the fireflies drift out on the grass. Duncan closed his eyes, vodka and weed crashing between his temples, Kenzie’s softness in the little dress with golden flowers in his arms, her fingers twining through his hair at the back of his head. Eventually, Madeline set the bowl down and drained the rest of her cocktail, standing, wobbling a little. Kenzie went to move off his lap to help her, but Madeline shook her head.

“Nope. I’m good, sweetpea. I’m going to bed. You two are gonna do the dishes for me. But you can take your time.” Madeline came over to them and leaned down to Kenzie’s face, kissing her cheek--Kenzie kissed her in return. “Love to you the moon and back, Momby.”

“Love you to the moon and back, my Kenzie Lou.”

Then, Madeline stepped away from her and leaned down to Duncan, pressing her lips to the stubble on his face. Duncan felt his eyes flutter closed. His heart clenched, his breath catching. In that moment, he thought, Madeline loves me as a mother loves a child. And I love her as a son loves a mother. And I’m not alone. I have them, don’t I. I have my darling Kenzie, an angel on earth, and her bold, bright mother, who sees me as a son already, and I am very fortunate indeed. I am blessed among all men.

Madeline’s warm hand drifted down to his cheek for a moment, then dipped under his chin, thumb and forefinger pressing there, angling him toward her gently, and his eyes lifted up to hers. He could feel Kenzie looking between them from where her face rested in the dip of his collarbone.

“Duncan, sweetpea. Never forget how much you are loved. We love you. Okay?”

Duncan felt the tears gather immediately at the corner of his vision. For a moment he couldn’t speak--his breath shook. Kenzie’s fingers tightened in the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Okay.”

Then Madeline gave him a little nod. “Good night, my moon babies,” she called over her shoulder, turning away from them, and disappeared inside, sliding the deck door shut behind her.

Kenzie lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “Dunny.”

“Yes, Kenzie Lou?”

“I love you.”

“As I love you.”

“Tomorrow, we’ll be together all day. We’ll have breakfast together and we’ll go see Morgan and Claire together, we’ll get dressed for the Gala together. Nobody can bother us, because we’ll be together. I won’t let them bother you. Anyone you don’t want to talk to, we’ll ignore them. Annette or your uncle. Anybody. Everyone. I’ll tell them to fuck off. I’ll throw a fuckinggg drink on them.” Kenzie slurred her words just a little--the weed was beginning to settle down into her, and the gold of her that fell against him in a tide felt more erratic, drawn-out, high. Duncan smiled against her. That’s right baby. You and me. Fuck them.

“I won’t fucking let anyone bother you either, baby. I can’t wait to see your dress, I’m fucking dying to see it. I’ll be thinking of you the whole time, I’ll just be thinking of later, thinking of you touching me, finally releasing me--” and at this he dipped his mouth down to the space under her ear and she was pressing her little breasts into his shirt, her hands flitting against his neck, her breath gasping as her mouth lifted up toward the moon, and he thought when you’ll finally slide that ring off my cock, hovering on the edge of hardness for hours and hours for you, when I’ll slide that plug out of your tight little ass and fuck you there, fuck you where you’ve been aching for me, I’ll be thinking of you the whole time, Kenzie, thinking of us alone together, the only thing I ever really want now, you you you your body and your mouth and your eyes and you and me alone alone alone just us no one else nobody but us my dearest love your gold like honey like nectar like sweet wine better than any weed greater than any drug the headiest of all pleasure and second to no one and nothing only you angel princess baby goddess, my moonlight, my moon flower--

Kenzie was giggling into his touch now, his mouth blowing cool tickling air onto her skin teasingly and his fingers dipping into her sides and pressing into her. You’re ticklish too, huh baby, and she wailed “yes, yes, stop, I surrender!” and he gripped her as she writhed, her screeches of laughter echoing out across the back lawn, tears in his eyes even as he grinned into her hair, happiness and sadness and some other emotion he couldn’t name crashing against each other in his mind, crashing into hers, maybe it’s more than happiness, more than sorrow, maybe it’s just the feeling of us together, the rightness of it, more than anything I feel, it’s the knowledge of our destiny, the knowledge of the perfection of this moment, when I thought perfect moments couldn’t exist, and now I know I was wrong, that they can, that they do, that this is one--nestled in a day so strange, so full of anguish--one moment, fit against us, molded to us. Perfect. There are perfect things in this universe. This moment, and the knowledge of us together. These things are perfect.

Duncan let Kenzie wriggle out of his lap, knowing full well that if he wanted to trap her there he could, keeping the strength in his arms coiled, not letting the neediness in his stoned, drunk mind take over his senses. She hopped away, breathless, gathering up their empty plates and the bowl of leftover sweet potatoes, cocking her head toward the screen door to the deck, which Madeline had disappeared into awhile ago. “Help me, baby,” and Duncan stood, stacking the empty glasses on the tray, gripping the serving platter with the remainder of the chicken. He followed Kenzie inside and she set the items on the counter, going back out onto the deck, turning off the little stereo, and the only sound now was the peepers and the cat clock in the corner towards the living room, and the sound of Kenzie shutting the deck’s sliding door, the sound of her bare feet on the kitchen’s linoleum. She went to the sink and pulled down a few tupperware containers in a cupboard beside it, scooping the sweet potatoes into one while Duncan slid the remaining chicken into the other.

I love this, he thought. Doing this with you. Doing anything with you. I wish we could do things like this more. When we have the garden house, we will. We’ll get away from the city, the company, my mother, the paps. We’ll make breakfast with eggs laid by our own chickens. We’ll eat fresh tomatos and cucumbers and lettuce from our own garden. We’ll take the horses out into the field, the woods, lay in the grass and eat apples under our orchard trees. We’ll fuck in the shade and lay there together naked and no one will see us, no one will bother us, no one.

That’s lovely, baby, she drifted against him, her little head brushing against his shoulder, filling the sink with hot soapy water, handing him a dry towel. Keep thinking those beautiful things and dry the dishes as I hand them to you, okay?

Uh huh, Kenzie. Anything you want me to do. And I mean every day. Always. The Cartier bracelet glittered on her wrist as she dipped the bowls and silverware into the sink, scrubbing at them with a scouring brush Madeline had crooked around the faucet, her eyes glancing up at him as she handed them off to him, dark green like the forest of you, the woods of you, the infinite of you. Princess Kenzie, fairest in all the land, fairest of them all. I’ll build you a castle where only beautiful things are, a castle of green growing things, a castle for your heart to find refuge in the certainty of my love, where we can hold each other, hidden by the boughs of the trees and surrounded by flowers, flowers to cover the wall over our bed in the city, and flowers for every sill in our home, flowers for you hair, flowers we’ll fall into as I kiss you--

“Oh baby, yes, I love that, god, that’s lovely--” she sighed, her voice barely above a whisper, and she dropped the brush and the bowl she held back into the soapy water and her wet, soapy little hands came up to his cheeks and pulled him down to crush his mouth into hers, and he dropped the towel onto the counter and lifted her into his arms, lifted her onto the counter too, the better to reach her, touch her, hold her, press against her, her smell like roses, her taste spicy and sweet and her, her taste, like flowers dipped in honey. Duncan felt the memory of today’s sorrow once more, knew there were things he now knew about himself that he couldn’t forget again, things he didn’t know about himself that he knew he needed to know, not just about his mother--whoever she was--but about him, about Kenzie, about how he knew they knew each other and knew they were meant to always be together, and why that was, how that had come to be, how they had found each other again. But all of that, his confusion, his despondency, his desire to know, was dissolving against her, and he felt the perfection he’d felt on the deck extending, stretching on into her mouth, perfect, baby, you’re perfect to me, you’re like a secret place I discover again and again, the secret safe place where my heart will always be able to rest and kindle its greatest emotions and that is beyond all words, all language, all description.

“Duncan, let’s wait until tomorrow,” Kenzie whispered, hands falling down to the sides of his neck, coaxing a moan from his throat, his hands gripping her knees, sliding up her bare thighs under the little dress, her warm, trembling skin sending an electric current through him, almost painful. “Let’s wait to fuck until tomorrow night, and we’ll be so fucking crazy for each other by then, we’ll be so needy for each other by then, baby, Dunny, god, I’m dying just thinking about waiting already, dying to feel your big cock fucking me--”

“Fuck, Kenzie, I don’t know if I can wait that long, baby, I want you now--”

“You have to. You have to wait. You have to do as I say, Duncan. You have to obey me.” She was giving him a hellishly lovely smile, one that set him absolutely on fire in this moment, her eyes whirling jade with flecks of gold, her hair in a cascade of silk over her shoulder--Fuck, Mackenzie Stone, you’ll be the death of me. Fucking marry me. Fuck me and choke me and tell me I belong to you. Because I do, I really do, I fucking do baby, I’m yours utterly, entirely. He leaned into her mouth longingly again as she kissed him, her arms drifting up his dark sleeves, her fingers brushing against his chin, holding him on her lips. Then she pushed him back--gently, but Dunan knew he needed to obey, needed to follow her, and he stepped backwards, eyes fluttering closed. He realized how tired he was in that moment, how the day’s revelations and the vodka and the weed and his desire for her were now combining to insist he hold her tightly and fall asleep now, sleep until today became nothing more than a memory. Kenzie slid back down to the floor, off the counter, and crooked a finger at him.

“Help me finish, baby. Then we’re gonna go to bed.”

“Uh huh, Kenzie.” He rubbed the fatigue from his eyes and yawned. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. The Gala is tomorrow. The full moon is tomorrow. I’ll long for you tomorrow, all day long, tomorrow.

Kenzie led him up the stairs after they finished the last few dishes, and they brushed their teeth quietly side by side in the little bathroom that used to be Kenzie’s when she was in high school, Duncan in a black tee shirt and gym shorts, Kenzie in his big Led Zeppelin tee that was now an integral part of her sleepwear. Duncan noticed a photo of her and Claire still there, in a bubblegum-pink frame over the toilet. Kenzie smiled at it, glancing up at him as she rinsed her toothbrush. In the photo they both wore Baskin-Robbins hats and aprons, Kenzie kissing Claire’s cheek, Claire with an expression of mock surprise, hand on Kenzie’s jaw. “Yes, I was an ice cream girl for two years,” Kenzie said to him, and Duncan let his hand drift into her hair, grinning as he scrutinized the photo.

“The prettiest ice cream girl in the world.”

“Ugh, shut up, Prince Duncan. I’d like to see you in that uniform. Give me twelve scoops and chocolate sauce and sprinkles, ice cream boy. I bet you never had a work a shitty job, huh.”

Duncan shook his head. “No, you’re right. I didn’t. But I did have to go to a shitty private school where I got my head smashed into a locker every other day for four years. I was bullied...a lot. Relentlessly. For awhile it was like it was my job to get the shit beat out of me. Two big guys in particular whose favorite insult for me was fag. Original, I know. Broke my wrist throwing me into a brick wall. One of them kicked me in the face so hard he knocked four of my teeth out, another time they punctured one of my ear drums with a pencil. God, that was the worst pain I’ve ever felt.”

“Baby. Fuck.” Kenzie’s face fell and suddenly she was pressing against him, her little nose in his shirt, her hands clutching around him. “I’m so sorry, baby. That’s so horrible. Ugh, no, no, no. I wish I had been there. I would have kicked their asses.” She turned her face up to him and he could see the tears glittering in her eyes. Duncan dipped his head so his lips brushed against her hair.

“My fearless Kenzie. I know you would have. I wish I could tell him--me, back then--how you were on your way. I wish he had known.”

“I’m here now, baby. I’ll always protect you now.”

I know you will, Kenzie. As I’ll always protect you. Nobody can hurt us now--now we have each other. Now we’re invincible. Our hearts are safe from them, shrouded in each other. Kenzie led him to the bed--Duncan switched the bathroom light off behind them, pulled the switch on the lamp beside the bed, glancing at The Kiss over it before he did (me and you)--and she pulled him down to her in the holy darkness. Duncan pressed his face into the sweet space above her breasts, kissing the shirt over her skin, his arms clutching her flush to him, and whispered “Kenzie, I love you,” and her cheek was pressing to the top of his head, her little thigh crooked up between his legs, and she was murmuring “I love you too baby, I won’t let anyone hurt you anymore...” and he knew she meant it, knew she would, knew that her golden waves of sunlight and moonbeam were his shield against all the harm of the wide world outside. And then, sleep, in her arms, in her embrace, in the warmth of her love...

And he forgot to cry--forgot that he had wanted to.

--------

The next morning Duncan woke to the sound of Madeline’s sharp tapping on the bedroom door. His head felt heavy; a small hangover from the vodka, softened by the weed. Kenzie was leaning from her position against him, same as the one they’d fallen asleep in, turning her head to the door, and he drifted up out of sleep, eyes opening to the crook of her neck, the sweet, musky smell of her. We were dreaming. But what was the dream about? We were together. The Mirror. The Mirror was in the dream. We were...but it was sliding away from him. Her dress was long and black, falling velvet...I don’t know. I can’t remember.

“Wake up, kiddos, I made pancakes. Chocolate chip and blueberry. And I spiked the coffee. Hair of the dog for a big day.”

Duncan heard Madeline’s laugh echo through the door and Kenzie shouted “Thank you Momby! We’ll be there in a minute!” and a sharp spike went through Duncan’s skull. He groaned against her, arms tightening to pull her mouth down to him.

“Did you dream, baby?” He tasted at her, the slight saltiness that had gathered on her in her sleep. I have to wait to fuck you until tonight, late, late tonight, fuck baby, how can I wait so long--Kenzie was wriggling out of his arms, her expression devious. You’re gonna really make me suffer today, aren’t you, angel baby. I can tell by the look in your eyes.

Yes. Show me how you worship me. Be good, baby. Be patient.

“I think so, but I can’t really remember.” Kenzie sat up, her golden hair in a frenzied, sleep-tangled halo around her head. I fucking love you so much, he thought, reaching for her, but she slipped away in that infuriating quickness, her little ass in its tiny pair of white lace panties kindling his morning erection (just the usual), the gold-and-diamond bracelet winking on her little wrist as her hand trailed off the bed. He lifted his hand up to his pounding head, his own gold bracelet brushing against his temple as he did; the tethers of the gold thread between us, mine extending to hers, tied together, for all of time. Thank you gods. Thank you Fates.

He had followed her downstairs to find that Madeline had indeed made them pancakes--a mountain of them, with organic butter and syrup and strawberries on the side, and strong black coffee spiked with what tasted like peppermint schnapps, which did its bit to clear his head and whisk away the hangover pressing into him. It was after 9--we slept for a long time, Duncan marveled. I could have slept for longer, honestly, something about this house is wildly comforting. I wish Kenzie and I could sleep through the Gala entirely, just forget it even exists. He couldn’t imagine speaking to Annette today; he knew as soon as she approached him he’d do his best to escape from her, despite the fact that the Gala was taking place at the Shepherd mansion as it always did. At least the house is so fucking huge it’s easy to lose people if you’re trying to. He looked up at Kenzie to see she was staring at him, her eyes knowing, glittering as she sipped at her coffee. I know you can hear me. I just can’t fucking do it, baby. I can’t talk to her right now.

It’s okay, Duncan. You won’t have to. We’ll avoid her. She’ll be busy anyway. She’ll be around other guests. We can hide from her. Kenzie pushed a forkful of chocolate chip pancake into her mouth, nodding to him. She’d left her phone downstairs last night and it was now resting on the table beside her--Duncan’s eyes glanced down at it, noticing it light up once, then again from two separate texts, one from Clairebear, the other from a number that wasn’t saved in her phone. His own phone was still in the pocket of the pants he’d left in a pile upstairs on the floor. Fuck my phone. I might as well throw it in the fucking garbage. If I’m with Kenzie there’s no one else in the world I want to fucking talk to anyway.

Madeline was in a fluffy dark navy bathrobe, wearing her purple-rimmed glasses, clutching her coffee cup in her hands, her eyes skirting back and forth between the two of them.

“It’s like you two are talking without actually saying anything, and it’s weirding me the fuck out.”

Duncan bit into his lip. We are, Madeline. He used the edge of his fork to cut off a piece of pancake, pushing it into his mouth. “These are great, Madeline. I can see where Kenzie gets her cooking skills.”

“Duncan is an incredible cook, don’t let him fool you, Momby. And he taught himself.”

“Well aren’t you two just so far up each other’s asses,” Madeline replied, smiling into her coffee cup. Kenzie rolled her eyes at her mother, making an exasperated sound in the back of her throat, going back to her plate, biting into a strawberry. Duncan snorted, trying to hold back his laughter. You have us down to a tee, Madeline. I am, indeed, so far up her ass. He snorted again as he saw Kenzie give him a look, sucking her bottom lip in. Oh my fucking god, Duncan. Then they couldn’t stop--Duncan pressed a hand over his mouth and Kenzie giggled, and then they were both laughing uncontrollably, and Madeline said “oh boy, I said it, didn’t I, I did that to myself,” and was laughing too. Tears were popping out of Kenzie’s eyes, her head falling back as she laughed into her hands, and Duncan thought fuck, I get to laugh with you every day now, fuck me, thank heaven.

Eventually they all quieted down and Kenzie looked down at her phone. “Claire says we should meet up around noon to make sure everything fits right. I guess you can finally see my dress then, baby. Oh my god, Momby, wait till you see, do you wanna see the photos Claire sent me? Duncan hasn’t seen it yet, we’ve been waiting to make it a surprise.”

“Fuck yes I want to see it,” Madeline said, leaning over to her daughter conspiratorially. Duncan heard her gasp and he felt twinge of jealousy. “Ugh, I wanna fucking see--” he said, trying to dip his head around to Kenzie’s phone, which she jerked back beyond his line of vision.

“Not yet baby, the first time for you has to be when I’m wearing it, please please please,” and Duncan whined. 

“Fine. But stop rubbing it in, Madeline.”

“I sure will not stop rubbing it in, sweetpea. We don’t know each other that well yet so let me tell you something. I am the queen of rubbing it the fuck in. With salt. Duncan, it’s fucking exquisite, and you are going to shit yourself.”

Duncan gave Madeline a faux dark look, jabbing towards her with his fork, Psycho-style. She laughed at him.

“Baby, you’re so cute. We’re gonna change your name to Stone. I’m keeping you.”

“That would be my fucking honor, and we both know it.”

Kenzie was smiling between them, and the earnest happiness in her expression made Duncan want to press her against him, kiss her tenderly. But then she looked back down at her phone, and her face immediately creased with a frown.

“Kenz, what is it?”

“Um, it’s Annette.”

Duncan’s blood went cold, his good mood immediately crashing down to earth. “Oh. What the fuck does she want.”

“She’s asking if she can come by the penthouse. She says she wants to give me something.”

Duncan’s mind flashed with a spike of red-hot anger. “Spent all this time being horrible to you and now she’s trying to guilt-trip me by giving you gifts. Fuck her.”

“Duncan.”

“Kenzie, she didn’t tell me I was adopted for thirty fucking years.”

“I know, baby. I fucking understand why you’re angry, why you’re so hurt. But if she’s finally trying to be civil with me, it feels like an opportunity. Baby. We can help her understand what we want to do with the company. I mean--eventually. After some time. After you have some time.”

Duncan pressed two fingers into the bridge of his nose. Calm the fuck down, Duncan. Do not take your anger out on Kenzie, don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking dare. She hasn’t done anything but be loving and sympathetic and cried her eyes out for you last night. She’s the one who is ALWAYS on your side.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He could feel Madeline’s eyes between them, intent, observant. She’s watching you too, Duncan. She’s watching how you treat her daughter, and you need to pass this fucking test, today and every day from here on out. So pass the fucking test and don’t be a fuck up. “I--I can’t see her right now. But she can drop it off for you with Anchaly. Or you can, I dunno--I can go somewhere while you talk with her.”

“I’ll go downstairs and see her for a minute. After we go see Morgan and Claire, before the Gala. I’ll just go talk to her downstairs for a minute. Is that okay?”

“Yes, Kenzie. It’s okay.”

“Okay.”

They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, Kenzie’s phone poised in her hand. Duncan. I love you. We both know she wants to use me right now to get you back on her side. But that doesn’t matter. We can go away after the Gala, baby. Let’s do it. After the Gala, let’s just leave. Let’s go to the cabin and stay there for a few days. As long as we need to. Until you feel better. Until you feel like you can talk to her. How does that sound? Let’s just go. Everyone can fuck off after today. Just you and me, baby. Just us and the stars and the trees and the lake.

Duncan was nodding at her, and he could feel Madeline’s puzzlement again at their silence, their intent stares at each other, his nodding.

“Seriously, you two are spooking me. What the fuck.”

“It’s just how we comfort each other, Momby. It’s just--it’s like meditation.”

“Not like any meditation I’ve ever fucking seen. It’s like you’re talking to each other but your mouths aren’t moving. Like fucking telepathy. You two are...it’s just...it’s very strange.”

Duncan didn’t say anything, finishing off his pancakes, bringing his coffee cup (it had a full-frontal faun with a comically large erection playing panpipes on it--nice, Madeline) to his lips. Madeline sighed at them, then seemed resigned to them not elaborating further. “What time are you picking me up with that fucking fantastic man?”

“I’m assuming you’re referring to Samuel Adebayo, my irreplaceable chauffeur.”

“That’s what I said. That fucking fantastic man.”

“The Gala starts at 8. We should be fashionably late. So we’ll pick you up at 8 sharp, how does that sound?”

“Perfect, sweetpea. Plenty of time for me to get high as a kite beforehand.”

Kenzie was rolling her eyes again, but Duncan couldn’t help but agree with Madeline internally. I don’t think I can make it through tonight sober. Between avoiding my mother and edging in a crowd of famous politicians and celebrities, it’s going to be an interesting fucking night. He felt Kenzie’s eyes on him again.

Wait until you see my dress, baby. Wait till you see your angel. He felt gold swirling around her thoughts--the gold of the gods, she thought to him. My sweet black-clad god of riches, you will behold your Persephone. Your fucking queen. And I’ll be wearing my plug for you all night too, just fucking aching for you...

Kenzie. Fuck. You’re killing me.

Thankfully Madeline had turned away from them this time to make more coffee. Kenzie stood, having finished her breakfast too, and crooked a finger at him, grinning with her little teeth. Come on. Let’s take a shower together in my shitty adolescent bathroom, baby. I’m going to make you needy for me today. You don’t get to fuck me till later, but you can look and touch, baby.

“Momby, we’re gonna go get dressed. Thank you for the pancakes.” Kenzie stepped over to her mother, kissing her cheek, then hopped over to Duncan and pulled him toward the stairs, her eyes that dark jade green, making his stomach swirl with low heat. He watched her ass bounce up the stairs ahead of him and he closed his eyes as he went after her. Fuuuuck. How the fuck am I going to make it until tonight.

Kenzie was pulling him through the guest room (The Kiss, Pallas Athene, gold waves, hey Kermit) and into the little bathroom, closing the door with a snap behind them, turning the little lock, her hair falling. The shower curtain was celestial suns and moons--Duncan assumed it must have been the same one since before Kenzie went to college--and Kenzie pushed it back, turning her back to him, clutching the hem of her tee shirt and pulling it off, yanking her panties off with one hand, letting them fall as Duncan’s eyes roved over her bare ass. Ugh, I love it. I love your body, baby, love your shoulders and your hair, the dip of your waist, your hips and the round peach of your ass, the backs of your thighs and your short little legs--he reached out before she could wriggle away and his hands fell down to the jut of her hipbones, burying his nose in the back of her hair.

“Princess,” he whispered against her. “My beautiful fucking baby.”

Kenzie leaned back into him--Duncan felt the jerk of his cock growing hard as she rubbed her ass up against his crotch through the soft fabric of the gym shorts he still wore. How how how can I wait until tonight, baby, how can I. His hand was coming down her abdomen to hover above her sex, but Kenzie grabbed his fingers and yanked them away, insistently.

“No, baby. Be good. Get in the shower with me.” You smell like flowers, baby. You’re my little fucking flower. Let me suck on your exquisite petals, Persephone. Let me take you into my mouth.

She stepped into the tub and turned the knob, yelping a little as cold water came out against her breasts and stomach. “Ugh, I forget now that not every shower is hot immediately like yours, baby,” she murmured, and Duncan was hurriedly throwing his clothes off, stepping in beside her. Not every shower’s as big as mine either, huh, Kenz, he thought to her, his body immediately pressing against hers as he gripped her at the hips and turned her into him in the small basin, the shower head now falling against the back of her hair. His hardening erection was pressing to her stomach now. Duncan hesitated for a moment, looking down into her face turned up to him. Then, he kneeled in front of her, the bottoms of his feet pressed against the edge of the small tub, hands still holding her hips in a careful but insistent clutch.

“Can I please make you come, Princess Kenzie?”

Her eyes were backlit with that ethereal green in the artificial light of the little bathroom--the sun was facing away from the house this time of day, and only the yellow light of the bulbs over the bathroom mirror permeated the shade of their nook. The water was finally hot now, and steam began to rise around her, like some cascading spell coiling up from her, the water soaking through her blonde-dark hair, sliding in rivulets down her thighs, his mouth hovering just over the lips of her sex now. Duncan kept his eyes on her face, fingers tightening down onto the backs of her thighs, under the dip of her ass cheeks. Please say yes, I beg of you, angel. Please let me. I want the sweet scent of your clit to hover around my lips and mouth and nose all day. I want it to linger in my senses the whole time at the Gala. I want my thoughts to be intoxicated with the memory of your cunt, the desperate hope that I can worship it with my sex as I did with my mouth. I beg you to let me worship you.

Kenzie’s silence stretched, and he felt as though she had closed her mind off to him for a moment, closed herself and delved down into a secret Pandora’s box, and he ached to feel her again, a tiny whimper escaping him, his desperation rising up. Then, Kenzie’s gold surged back into him and he felt his cock jump between his legs with the force of it, felt the groan that erupted from his lips as the stare between them extended, the hot water falling against his cheeks from where he knelt before her, beholden. 

Kenzie’s slender hands clutched into the back of his head, down into the wetness of his curls, and still not speaking, only staring into him, her expression obtuse and unreadable, Kenzie brought her leg up over his shoulder, crooking her knee there, lifting her thigh open, and she forcefully, harshly, demandingly brought his face, the open supplication of his mouth, flush between the wet lips of her sex. Duncan immediately clutched her against him with all his strength, easily holding her steady, the gold bracelet on his wrist pressing against her ass, and he kept his eyes open, lifted up to her face, her chin falling back and her mouth falling open as the water rushed through her hair. I will never forget the way she looks in this moment, either, in this tiny little shower. Her face is like the face of god to me. Yes, angel, yes. This is all for you. She was sighing deeply, her sighs like long, drawn cries, and he could feel the minute shuddering in the muscles of her legs and the core of her body, and he longed to be devoured by her desires in that moment, longed to be consumed by her needs. I’m your baby, Kenzie, I belong to you, the only thing I want is to make you feel so fucking good, the only thing I want is to be yours, and to make you come, come, come--

Duncan moved his head down, flicked his tongue out, pressing it along the quivering sensitivity of the dip of skin between Kenzie’s ass and the opening of her cunt, along the cavity there and the lips of her labia, then back up into her clit, and Kenzie was crying out softly, quietly, “fuck, baby, don’t fucking do that, I can’t be quiet if you do that, I don’t want Momby to hear us--” and Duncan smiled into her clit, swirling his tongue around the bud, loving the feeling of her thighs knocking against his hair, her involuntary convulsing, her hands gripping his hair with an intensifying low pain, pulling. He pressed his open mouth in a wanton kiss to the very head of where the lips of her began, then began to suck lightly, suck downwards over the mound of nerves, dipping his tongue back and forth, and each time it pressed into her Kenzie’s hips bucked into his face, her thighs beginning to tremble in a steady cascade now, and he dug his hands so tightly into her that he could feel his short nails now dipping half-moons into her soft skin. 

Fucking come, moonlight. This is just the first time today. I’m gonna make you come later, even harder than I make you come right now. Fucking come against my mouth. I dream all day about your sweet little cunt, Kenzie. My daydreams are the feeling and the scent of you here, my daydreams are buried in your hair, the softness of your skin, the radiant glow of your eyes. He raised his head for a moment, away from his ardent sucking, and stared at her. He knew what she was thinking now, knew how she wanted to force him against her, felt the coiling desire to control him swirling in the center of her, an image rather than a thought, and he waited for another beat, waited for her to do what he longed for, what he knew she wanted to do. Kenzie brought her fingers away from their harsh grip at his hair; one of her little graceful hands clutched him under his stubbled chin as he gripped her thigh and the back of her ass, holding his face steady as he held her body in place, and then her other hand came up, hovered, then came against his cheek with a hard slap, the diamonds on her wrist winking, his mouth hanging open with the force of it, breath falling out in a harsh gasp, eyes fluttering closed, involuntary.

Kenzie hesitated for a moment, then brought the backside of the same hand down over the other cheek, not quite as hard as the first, but the sound of it still loud and sharp. The low pain of her attentions sent a dagger of hot need through his body and into his groin, crackling energy sliding through his mind. I bow to you, goddess. Kenzie. My beloved. Queen. I am beholden to your desires. Fucking yes. I want you to command me to suck on you. I fucking love you.

“Put your mouth back where it belongs, baby,” she said, and she lifted her chin, the hot water sliding down the curve of her breasts, between her collarbones down the flatness of her stomach, and he saw the glimmering wonder of her divinity again, and felt staggered inside it, knowing there was nothing else in the world he wanted inside this moment as much as he wanted what to do she told him to do.

Duncan pressed his open mouth against her again in a complete supplication that sent warm waves of her golden tide down his throat, the heady scent and taste of her making his cock jump into his belly again, and her hand was coming down to the nape of his neck, achingly gently now, pressing him into her, moving her hips so she was almost hovering over him now, almost as if she were floating, her body heavy against him but also impossibly light, and his eyes fluttered closed--he couldn’t help it, overwhelmed as he felt by her in this moment, extending forwards and backwards until he felt as though he no longer knew where he was, and didn’t care to know, only that she was here, impossibly close, and she was going to fucking come for him very soon, and with his mouth utterly pressed to her he felt the shudder build in her body and heard her needling cry, opened his eyes, holding his mouth carefully still and working his tongue into her as she shook, watching her head dip down, cock to the side in an achingly lovely moment of complete abandon, her eyes half-lidded and lit by a haloed glow, her mouth wide, her little teeth peeking from her lips, her breasts shuddering with tiny shivering adulations, her arms shaking, one hand falling across his stubbled cheek almost absently, needy to feel him there (I love it love the feeling of it love you fucking love you I fucking love you your mouth is all I ever want now your mouth and your adoration and you bowing to me, bow to me bow to me my fucking gorgeous impossibly beautiful prince oh fucking fuck fucking fuck me fuckkkk), her thoughts the most glorious poem inside her orgasm. His mouth stayed against her, loathe to leave the sweetness of her, as her shudders dissipated, floated down, dissolved slowly. Kenzie tried to uncrook her knee from where her thigh still laid over his shoulder, and Duncan gripped her hard, whining between the lips of her, trying to keep her there.

“Baby, be good, let me down,” she was laughing at him, hands soft on his cheeks, her diamond Cartier bracelet glinting in the corner of his eyes as she pushed his face back, and he pouted at her, pouted up into her radiant face, goggled by its loveliness, awash in the sweet afterglow of her orgasm. “Later, I’m gonna let you fuck me so hard. Be good today, okay? Be my sweet baby.” He sighed into her stomach at that, nodding, squinting his eyes against the heat of the water spitting down, then leaned back, licking his lips (god I love the taste of her, I don’t know any words for it, it’s like the sweetest cake with the headiest wine, the absolute tip of an orgasm, the absolute depth of the deep ocean, it’s like staring into the abyss with white stars whirling, it’s her, it’s fucking her, it’s the taste of heaven), and hoisted himself up, aware that his erection was achingly hard now between his legs, aware that she wasn’t going to touch him, and he wanted to moan with terrible frustration. Kenzie was leaning away from him, squeezing conditioner into her palm, fingering it swiftly through her tawny hair, and he could see her mouth still hovering open as she stared at him, could see the flow of her thoughts even though she wasn’t touching him. I love your big fucking cock baby, later I’m going to fucking gag on it for you, but only if you’re good, only if you’re patient, and he groaned, dipping his face down to press against her cheek, the heat of the water making his cock shiver as she leaned away from him so only their faces were touching. His fingers came up to press into her breasts, around her nipples, and then he was moving his hands away because the feeling of her was simply too intense for him now, too much to bear, and he moved back and he said “Fuck, Kenzie baby…”

Kenzie closed her eyes, rinsing her hair under the shower head, hands flitting through its dark gold, then she was pressing a finger up into the dip of his throat, right below his adam’s apple, curling her hand up to grasp his throat, gently but insistently.

“Don’t you dare come, Duncan Shepherd. You have to wait.”

Duncan’s mouth snapped closed at her commanding tone, the gold flecks that suddenly twirled in her gaze, and his hands fell away from where they had been hovering near his cock, his aching need to touch himself laid bare to her through their minds’ touch.

“Ung, Kenzie--”

“No whining. Finish up and get ready with me. It’s time for you to see my dress.”

Kenzie stepped out of the shower at that, and Duncan tried to dial back the wave he felt falling down his body, into his groin. You can’t. Kenzie said you have to wait. He forced himself to think of an open wound festering, the smell of rotting garbage, anything to ease him down from the edge of release. Slowly he began to feel the pressure in his cock easing, and he gasped into the water, sucking some into his mouth, swirling it under his tongue, desperate to ease the whirling need the taste of her sex kindled up in him. The taste of her in my mouth like this is fucking overwhelming, it’s like fucking torture. I could come over and over and never want it to end in a thousand years, tasting her on my lips this way. Duncan resigned himself to patience (you must, you have to, it’s what she fucking wants so it must be done) and finished his shower alone, despite the terrible ache of his desire for her, her gold still lingering like a patina around his body.

-------

Kenzie was wearing the button-down mustard-colored yellow lace dress she’d packed hurriedly in his duffel the night before, the little black heeled sandals on her feet, the Tiffany moon at her throat, her long hair still drying in soft waves around her shoulders, Duncan in one of his typical black Givenchy Oxfords, the fabric of it thankfully a cool cotton (somehow I packed something sensible, despite the erratic nature of my mental state last night, he thought)  to combat the heat of the June day, already overwhelming, his round black-framed Yves sunglasses over his eyes, her little gold-framed round sunglasses over hers as she pulled him eagerly from the BMW’s backseat at Morgan’s studio, an wildly excited grin spread across her little face. I want to fucking kiss you, angel, your sweetness is like a food I want to savor.

Duncan had made the mistake of looking at his phone on the way and low dismay kindled in the back of his mind now; Annette had attempted to call him 15 times since last night and left him a slew of texts, which ranged in tone from the outright defensive to jarringly apologetic that bordered on a kind of begging. He’d never once been privy to a message from his mother that approached this level of penitence, and it unnerved him. But he was determined to stay away from her for a few days. I can’t fucking talk to you right now, and you have to fucking accept it, Mom. He’d avoid her as well as he could tonight, and they wouldn’t talk about what Claire Underwood had told him until he and Kenzie returned from the cabin. He knew this with certainty. His mind ached with acute agony when he tried to contemplate the truth; I’m not a Shepherd, I don’t fucking know who I am; it was simply too close still, and his psyche stepped away from it as he clutched Kenzie’s hand like a lifeline.

Kenzie was dragging him up the stairs, little sounds of excitement floating down to him from her mouth, her movements elated. My dress my fucking dress my gorgeous dress wait till you see baby wait till you see, he could hear her, waves of gold crashing. Kenzie slammed her palm onto the buzzer, hopping up and down, squeezing his hand, pinching his fingers. How can I be in a bad mood when you look like this, he thought, dipping his face down to kiss her cheek. My fucking angel. Today will be beautiful because you are here and you alone are my sunlight.

Claire greeted them, cheeks flushed pink, in a long-sleeved navy midi dress with rose-colored blossoms--her face was radiantly happy too, and Duncan was struck by the glow of her cheeks, the winking shine of her gaze. Harris, he thought, surprised at the immensity of it all over her face, surprised by the obviousness of it. Harris. Kenzie fell into her arms, squealing with delight, “We’re here, we’re here!” and Claire was laughing, her grin infectious--Duncan could feel his own smile falling over his face, so overwhelming was the loveliness of these two women before him in this moment. How can I possibly be sad, in a world where my Kenzie and her dear ones exist.

“God, wait till you see them, darlings, my Kenzie Lou, Duncan--wait until you see. The paparazzi are going to actually die. You should both wear those sunglasses this evening, cuz you’re gonna be blinded by camera flashes all night.” Claire was gripping Kenzie’s little hand so she was extended between her best friend and Duncan, like they were about to play ring-around-the-rosie. Duncan let Kenzie pull him into Morgan’s studio behind them, sliding his sunglasses off his nose. It had taken awhile for his erection to go down in the shower, and he still felt the vaguely uncomfortable edge of blue balls between his legs, the memory of a release anticipated and never carried to its end, the come still trapped in his groin that demanded attention. He shifted, resigned to it, trapped inside it, knowing it would be hours and hours until he got what he wanted. My Kenzie, moaning against me, lost inside my touch, my sex, my desire for her. That’s what I fucking want. Kenzie had let go of him, rushing over to greet Morgan, looking as obtuse and polished as ever in a long black poncho that fell to the floor, lacy black gloves on her hands. He raked a hand through the wave of hair over his ear, breathing out slowly, carefully. You’re going to need to pace yourself, he scolded himself. You’ll never make it through tonight if your nerves are like this all day. If your desire is this strong. Push it down and control yourself. We have a long way to go.

“Darlings, delightful to see you looking so fresh and anticipant,” Morgan cooed. “I think I’ve truly created two of my masterpieces for you in these pieces, a triumphant, delicate mixture of verdant power and seductive celestial ecstasy. Truly I have found my muses.” Duncan was stepping towards her, Morgan extending her hand to him, which he grasped in greeting, dipping his head down to her. Kenzie hopped in place, clutching Claire still, her hair bouncing.

“Please let me see it, please please please,” she was begging, and Claire was laughing at her. Duncan smiled, his body was beginning to hum with the premonition of the moment; he knew, somehow, knew how shaken he’d be to conceive her in it, knew how it was going to shatter into his soul, and he suddenly felt like he needed to sit. He grasped the edge of a nearby counter, covered in scraps of fabric, cloth scissors, pins and measuring tapes. He could see the bits of silken gold that were scattered there, and his heart lept into his throat.

“Dearest, come with me,” Morgan cooed to him, taking his long hand in her elegant lace fingers. “Claire will accompany Mackenzie to her gown while I escort you to your guise for this splendid evening. I trust you won’t need my help to dress, so I will then leave you and ensure that your beloved is fitted like a glove.”

“No, indeed, Morgan, I think I can manage.”

He glanced over his shoulder at Kenzie, who was looking at him with wildly bright eyes, biting into her lip, fingers gripping Claire so hard they looked white. See you soon, baby. He smiled at her, his heart pounding wildly. I love you, Kenzie, I love you, then Morgan was pulling him away with a surprisingly tight grip, to a side-room in the opposite direction of where Claire was forcefully guiding Kenzie, whispering animatedly into her ear. Duncan looked ahead, turning away from them with reluctance, and felt his heart rebound again, his breath catching--the blazer Morgan had created for him was on a rolling black dress form in the center of the room, immediately drawing his eye with its cascading metallic gold on crushed black velvet, a silk Oxford underneath it with strikingly intricate gold tips. He moved towards it immediately, reaching out a hand almost involuntarily to touch it--the gold was like dripping stardust, smooth and soft, like trails of falling stars smeared across the heavens, dripping down into the emptiness of space. This is how I feel when she touches me, he thought again. I feel like she’s spreading gold all over me, all down my body, into the secret, sensitive spaces of my heart, like I can taste her in my throat and the taste is beyond any taste I’ve ever experienced, beyond exquisite, beyond all other delights. He could see that the gold tips of the collar were each an intricate cage of lace, reminding him of the bracelet Kenzie had worn that night they first met--a cage that wove around me, and brought me in forever.

“Morgan,” he breathed. “This is extraordinary.”

Morgan was grinning at him, her eyes closing behind her huge cat-eye glasses.

“My darling, I know well that it is, but thank you. You have truly inspired me--the glory of such luminous love, good heavens. As an artist, to behold such emotion is to be moved to create. I can see that at heart, you are a romantic, and that perhaps, in the past, you have been moved to conceal it for fear of exposure to the cruelty of the world. We who wear black feel the heavy idyll of life, the drama of every moment, and we feel it most acutely. In our grief, in our ennui, and yes, in love. And this love is extraordinary--for you, it has healed your soul. Therefore, you must look the part. Gold leaf was my tool, and 18 karats for the tips, a perfect compliment, I see, for the Cartier.” She glanced down at his wrist, and Duncan nodded to her.

“I leave you to it.”

With that, Morgan turned and left, shutting the door behind her. Duncan breathed deeply, closing his eyes for a moment. Then he opened them again--yes, it was still here, this miraculous coat made from gold, made of stardust. He breathed deeply. Get ready for Kenzie. He lifted his shaking fingers to his collar, his skin flushed, his mind aching.

--------

Duncan emerged twenty minutes later, gazing down at his sleeves, their gold mesmerizing. Morgan had laid the tailored black chinos that completed his look on a table next to the dress form, but he wore his signature Yves Wyatt boots on his feet still, and knew he’d wear them to the Gala as well; they complimented the look shockingly well. He moved over to Morgan’s oblong white table and pulled one of the white chairs closer to the center of the room, looping his long legs on either side of it, sitting carefully. The room was quiet, but he could hear the soft strains of Kenzie and Claire’s voices in the room beyond, the lilt of Kenzie’s excitement, and it was making his body vibrate with the desire to see her, his heart slamming painfully into his ribcage. He slid one hand along his jaw, index and middle fingers trailing along his bottom lip. Oh my fucking god, Kenz, I’m on fire waiting for you. He could feel the twinge of his cock straining under the tight chinos, wondered how he’d ever be able to stand the cock ring teasing him all night. I’m going to want to eat her alive by the end. He thought of the Bacchanalian revelry of The Youth of Bacchus, the dancing figures, stoked by a frenzy of wine and energy of a wanton god of ecstasy. It was as if he could feel that same energy beginning to stir around the corners of the day--could feel it being stoked up, being kindled, like the first strains of a tornado drifting down from a dark, stormy sky. The wild wine god comes tonight. He will stoke the lust of the people to debauchery, as now he pushes my senses toward my need for her. My Ariadne, draped in stars. Tonight, the party. Tonight, the wine god comes. He shivered.

The door Claire and Kenzie had disappeared into opened; Claire came out, Morgan behind her in her silent, cool way--Claire looked at Duncan approvingly, her eyes rapt.

“Wow, fuck, Duncan. You look fucking gorgeous. Not that you don’t always,” and she blushed deeply, a hand coming up to her cheek. “Everyone’s going to lose their shit. Okay, listen. Are you ready for this goddess?”

“Is it possible for me to be ready for this?” Duncan’s hand shook as he brought it down from his jaw, his question an earnest one to Kenzie’s best friend.

“Probably not. Take a deep breath.”

He shuddered one into his lungs. Make sure you breathe. He gave her a shaky nod.

“Kenzie,” Claire called through the doorway, stepping aside. Morgan moved to stand beside Duncan, for a longer view. “Your Prince is ready for you.”

For a moment no one stirred, then Duncan saw Kenzie’s little hand push at the door, pressing it open wider; an uncalculated moan fell from Duncan’s lips as he saw her, and he had to shut his eyes for a moment, had to catch his breath again, dizziness wiping over him, the ache in his cock returning full force. He forced his eyes open--she was staring at him, her mouth having fallen open, her eyes sparkling with sudden moisture, obvious even from the distance between them.

“Duncan,” she breathed.

“No, baby, no--you. You.”

Kenzie’s dress was gold.

Pure gold, a cascade of lamé that draped and pleated all around her, its opulent folds falling in drifts that hugged at her tiny waist and curving hips, gathering down to trail at the floor, her left leg visible above the thigh from a long slit that ran down the gown’s length. Its rivels, shimmering and weaving like the waves on the ocean’s surface, reminded him of how he’d always imagined the robes of the gods on Mount Olympus to appear; of a fabric not known to man, drifting as if in some phantom wind, too exquisite a fabric to be called silk, softer than the light of moonbeams on quiet forest floors in deepest night. One of the sleeves draped down her left arm, dipping almost to the crook of her elbow; the other lifted over her shoulder from a draping fold that began at the sharp tailoring at her waist and lifted over half the tailored bodice of the front of the gown, her breasts emphasized by two sewn cups and careful boning, outlining the form of her bust. Her throat and collarbones were bare, her skin exquisite in its whiteness above so much gold. The thin line of sleeve that went over her shoulder from the pleats continued to extend down her back--Kenzie turned, her eyes inside his, to show him the breathtaking drift of a long train that fell to the floor from her right shoulder blade, another rusch of fabric across her back below to her left shoulder. The train continued along the ground for several feet, its gold like spilled liquid, impossible in its lovely softness; the train of a princess, of a queen, of a goddess in a painting, a fairy tale come to life, and here she stands before me, somehow real, impossibly real. I should be struck dumb to behold her.

Kenzie turned back to him, and he could see the delicate bones of her clavicle quivering, the shiver of her golden hair over her shoulder, its waves like silk to him, the depth of the hazel of her eyes (ambrosia, the golden honey of holy bees, the green of emeralds, the russet of topaz and tiger’s eye). Her little hands were fumbling in front of her stomach, and the nervous curve of her mind was creeping up against him, like an electrical current. You look so fucking beautiful, baby, she was thinking, and the lump that rose in his throat threatened to shatter his composure.

Kenzie, it’s not me. It’s you. You’re a goddess. You’re truly a goddess. You’re too beautiful to describe. I don’t know if you can feel how I feel to look at you in this moment, but if you can even a little, you know I can’t...there are no words I know of. I can’t find words for how beautiful you are. You pierce my heart. I should build you a temple and leave you a garden of roses there every day. Duncan stood, his legs shaking. Claire and Morgan were quiet--they seemed to sense the intensity of the emotion that drifted in the room; Duncan heard Claire sniffing quietly, in tears.

Suddenly, quickly, Duncan and Kenzie had rushed together--his feet had carried him so quickly his mind seemed to follow after him, trying to catch up, and his hands were grasping hers with a tenderness that made his body ache, made his breath catch, they were falling, devotedly, down the easeful curve of the dress, the warmth of her body beneath it sending a shiver down his spine, the gold bracelet at his wrist disappearing into her gold, devoured by it.

“Holy fuck, baby,” he whispered. “Holy fuck.”

Persephone, my flower dipped in gold. Kenzie didn’t speak, but he knew she accepted the drift of his thought.

Hades, my shadowed prince draped in falling stars. She tilted her head to him, her little fingers coming up to drift over the caged golden tips of his collar as the diamonds at her wrist winked against the gold leaf of his velvet jacket, and she kissed him, her mouth a holy tremor on his lips, his prayer to her accepted, as it ever was.

[felicia-cat-hardy]

Maddie & Kenzie Ziegler On Their 'Dance Moms' Childhood, TikTok, & Becoming Best Friends

The world first met Maddie and Kenzie Ziegler in 2011, as the 8- and 6-year-old sisters at the heart of the new unscripted series Dance Moms, a Lifetime reality juggernaut that would make them household names. The series chronicled their travails in competitive dance and revealed their indisputable talent, but it also served as a very public time capsule of their childhood. Every win, loss, and memeable ugly-cry was recorded and available to fans to replay over and over... and over again.

Since they took their last bow on Dance Moms in 2016, the Zieglers’ professional lives have evolved in refreshingly different ways. Maddie, now 18, has appeared in several of Sia’s music videos, and her acting credits already include this year’s Music, opposite Kate Hudson, plus Steven Spielberg’s upcoming West Side Story remake. Kenzie, 16, has embarked on a solo career in pop music (she, too, has collaborated with Sia) and emerged as a certifiable social media star, “the best TikToker,” if you ask Maddie. Both sisters have authored books and released clothing and beauty lines. Any move they make on social media immediately garners millions of likes and comments.

Looking back on their hugely successful but often stressful first decade of fame, both Ziegler sisters cite one important constant: their friendship. Yes, they often fought and were pitted against each other on the show, but according to them, the experience of growing up on screen while navigating almost constant pressure to perform actually strengthened their bond. For Elite Daily’s BFF issue, Maddie and Kenzie interview each other about life in the public eye, finding their individual strengths, how they approach relationships (ahem: boys), and why they’ll always have each other’s back.

Our teacher, the environment we were in — it was all very stressful as a kid.

Kenzie Ziegler: When did you realize we had an unusual childhood?

Maddie Ziegler: We got pulled out of school every day to go to dance and film a TV show, so that was not normal at all. We ended up not even finishing [at our] elementary school, because we got pulled out so much for work. And then once we started traveling, people started recognizing us. I remember we were in an ice cream store and someone called our names, and we were so freaked out. Like, how did these people know us? And then we realized, Oh, there’s a lot of attention around our show.

Kenzie: Yeah. It was so unusual, but I don’t even remember a time before.

Maddie: I don’t think we processed how unusual it was for a 6- and 8-year-old. Luckily, me and you had each other.

What’s a time growing up [when] you were glad to have a sister?

Kenzie: When I was younger, I was going through a lot of hate, so I’m glad that I had you. Our teacher, the environment we were in — it was all very stressful as a kid. I’m glad we were doing the same thing so I could have a shoulder to lean on.

Maddie: I feel the same way, even though we fought a lot. And what’s funny is that even though I’m older, most of the time you were the one sticking up for me. We’re so different in the sense that I’m a people-pleaser. I’m super scared to voice my opinion, or at least I used to be. I didn’t want to start any drama. I didn’t want to get in the way. You, on the other hand, speak your opinion. Whenever something’s not right, you’re like, “I’m not going to let this slide.” I admire that about you so much.

Kenzie: I’m the type of person that if I’m in a fight with someone, I don’t really stick up for myself. But when it comes to my friends or you, I will not have it.

Maddie: How did you deal with all the comparisons between us when we were kids?

Kenzie: I handled it pretty badly. I was a bratty kid. We’d be doing interviews, and I’d just be like, “I’m not Maddie,” yelling at you, and you had nothing to do with it. You’re just a good dancer, and we’re sisters, and that was it. But we still get compared to this day. Every sister gets compared, no matter who you are.

Maddie: It broke my heart that you got compared to me so much as a dancer. Like, if you didn’t win, why weren’t you as good as Maddie? That is so heartbreaking. Everyone should be allowed to shine in their own ways. That’s why I was so happy you took [up] singing, because I can’t sing for the life of me. It’s good that we have our own things. We’re allowed to be different.

Kenzie: When’s a time you felt competitive with me, and how did you get over it?

Maddie: Well, literally our whole lives, we competed. And I was absolutely the competitive one in the family.

Kenzie: You still are.

Maddie: I still am, but I’m not as crazy as I used to be. I thought that if I didn’t win a trophy, then I was terrible, I was useless. Now I don’t know where any of my trophies are. They’re so boring.

There was that time we competed in the same category for solos, and you beat me — you got first place, and I got second. I was like, “I cannot believe this. She beat me. She’s younger than me.” It was really hard for me to get over. Now looking back, I’m like, “That is amazing. She deserved that. Her dance was better.”

I thought that if I didn’t win a trophy, then I was terrible, I was useless. Now I don’t know where any of my trophies are. They’re so boring.

Kenzie: I did rub it in your face, but I had every right to because it would never happen again. I remember writing on my trophy, “I beat Maddie with this trophy,” and you were so mad, and I was like, “You’re going to beat me next week.”

Maddie: We could not be more different when it comes to dance and our strengths.

Kenzie: You love contemporary. You would die for contemporary, I’m pretty sure. And you look so beautiful doing it. I’m more into hip-hop now.

Maddie: I feel like our strengths in dance [match] our personalities. I’m so sensitive and emotional, so that’s what I gravitate toward, the emotional contemporary dancing. And you can be super sassy. You were always so powerful, so strong when you danced, and hard-hitting. That’s why you’re so good at hip-hop, jazz, gymnastics. That was always your forte.

Kenzie: Not anymore.

Maddie: I’m sure if I asked you to do a standing back tuck right now, you could do it.

Kenzie: Maybe, but I can’t touch my toes. So that’s probably done.

Let’s talk about how I got you into TikTok, because I did, and I’m the only person you follow, which is so nice.

Maddie: It took a very long time for you to convince me to join. I had a fake account just to watch your TikToks. I would also try the dances, but I would just put them in my drafts.

Kenzie: You were telling me, “I will never tell you my TikTok,” [then] you followed my account, and I was like “Why is BonjoviLover...”

But I remember you called me a few months ago, and you were like, “I’ve made a TikTok,” and I was like, “There’s no way.” When I film a TikTok, I film it once, then I post it. I don’t really care what I look like. You did it 10 times and were like, “What do I say? What do I do?” And I was like, “It’s just fun. You can do whatever you want on it.”

Maddie: I didn’t understand. Now I’m better at it. A little bit. But I do love the app, and that is because of you. You are the best TikTokker, without a doubt.

Kenzie: No.

Maddie: You do the best transitions. You do the best dances, but also, like you said, you’ll learn a dance and film it once. You don’t even watch it back; you just post it. You have such a carefree mentality about it, like, “This is me, whether you like it or not.” It’s so amazing.

You’ve definitely helped me realize, in relationships, that I can’t let guys walk all over me.

Kenzie: You’re just hyping me up.

I like the app because you can be very real. On Instagram, everyone has to look perfect, and we worry about what we post. But on TikTok, you can post a video with no makeup, straight out of bed, or doing the craziest, stupid stuff, and everyone will think it’s funny or be like, “Oh, I love how authentic you are.” It’s more of a drama-free zone. The other day, you and I filmed that TikTok of us just shimmying in a car, and it was just fun and everyone loved it.

Maddie: People have started to comment way more positive things.

Kenzie: Before you joined, when we would learn dances together on my account, the comments would be like, “Maddie’s better.” And I was like, “OK, we know.” I stopped posting with you because I was like, “This is just so stressful and annoying.” And then I was like, “Whatever, I’m going to post with her again.” And I did, and it was way worse. So then I posted a video and said, “Hey, I know you all think it’s cool to compare us, but I’ve been compared to her my whole life. So if you’re going to comment, just comment something positive.” Now it’s more like, “They dance so well together. They look like they’re having so much fun.” I think people understand now that we don’t do it to compete.

Maddie: Exactly. We do it for fun.

Is there any good advice I’ve given you over the years, as an older sister?

Kenzie: You’ve definitely helped me realize, in relationships, that I can’t let guys walk all over me. Now I don’t do that at all, but you saw it firsthand, and you were so angry about it, and I totally shut you out. I was like, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Then I really thought about it, and I was like, she’s right. Every time you’ve been right.

Maddie: I was like, “I think he’s using you,” but you’re blinded when you’re in the middle of a relationship. Eventually you understood. I knew you would. It’s one of those things where even if I told you a million times, you had to figure it out yourself.

I think as much as I’m a people-pleaser and you stand up for yourself, in relationships you’re a people-pleaser, too. We both want to make everyone happy around us. We don’t want to stir the pot. That’s how Mom is, too. Our whole family.

Kenzie: It’s a blessing and a curse.

Maddie: It is. But I’m really happy we’ve both gotten to a point in relationships where we’re comfortable voicing our opinion without worrying we’re going to hurt someone’s feelings.

Kenzie: And we can talk to each other. When I was younger, I wouldn’t tell you a lot of things, because I thought you would either tattle on me or tell me I was doing something wrong. I’m glad we’re older and more mature. We don’t live together anymore, which is sad, but now we’re best friends.

Maddie: I was thinking about that the other day, when we were in the car together crying-laughing. Usually we’d be screaming at each other, and now we’re having so much fun.

Kenzie: What’s your least favorite thing about me? I’m just curious.

Maddie: I can’t think of anything.

Kenzie: There’s something.

Maddie: How impatient you are. If I don’t do something you asked for straight away, you’re so mad.

Kenzie: My answer ties in with that.

Maddie: What is it? I take too long?

Kenzie: No, it’s how you zone out. I’ll be like, “Hey, Maddie, can you take pictures of me for this?” And you’re just not answering. I’ll be like, “Maddie.” And you’ll be like, “What?” And I’ll say, “What did I ask you?” And you’re like, “I don’t know. I wasn’t listening.”

Maddie: It’s not personal. I do it to everyone. I’m very distracted.

Oh, I have a question. I moved into this apartment and have a guest room all nice for Kenzie, and she never comes over. Why?

Kenzie: You know why I don’t come over.

Maddie: Because you can’t drive. Get an Uber.

Kenzie: I’m not allowed to Uber anymore. Mom just says, “Don’t Uber. It’s scary.” But another reason is, “Hmm, do I want to go over to Maddie’s and she’s going to fall asleep at nine o’clock?”

Maddie: Remember when we had a sleepover and started watching TV, and you were like, “You’re not going to fall asleep now, right?” And I was like, “Definitely not.” And I was out.

Kenzie: You’re a grandma, fully.

Maddie: Sorry, this is so random, but do I have to pick you up today?

Kenzie: Yes.

Maddie: I have to take this girl everywhere.

Kenzie: Getting my license in a week. Just wait.

Top Image Credits: On Kenzie: Louis Vuitton clothing and shoes, Jennifer Fisher earrings, Talent’s own earrings; On Maddie: Chanel clothing, bracelet, and belt, Lizzie Fortunato earrings, Mejuri rings, Free People socks, Dr. Martens boots

Photographer: Paley Fairman

Stylist: Tiffany Reid

Hair: Danielle Priano

Makeup: Tonya Brewer

Manicure: Emi Kudo & Thuy Nguyen

Set Designer: Bette Adams

Bookings: Special Projects

Videographer: Sam Miron

Get Relationship Advice Here

[hoynovoy]

Maddie & Kenzie Ziegler On Their 'Dance Moms' Childhood, TikTok, & Becoming Best Friends

The world first met Maddie and Kenzie Ziegler in 2011, as the 8- and 6-year-old sisters at the heart of the new unscripted series Dance Moms, a Lifetime reality juggernaut that would make them household names. The series chronicled their travails in competitive dance and revealed their indisputable talent, but it also served as a very public time capsule of their childhood. Every win, loss, and memeable ugly-cry was recorded and available to fans to replay over and over... and over again.

Since they took their last bow on Dance Moms in 2016, the Zieglers’ professional lives have evolved in refreshingly different ways. Maddie, now 18, has appeared in several of Sia’s music videos, and her acting credits already include this year’s Music, opposite Kate Hudson, plus Steven Spielberg’s upcoming West Side Story remake. Kenzie, 16, has embarked on a solo career in pop music (she, too, has collaborated with Sia) and emerged as a certifiable social media star, “the best TikToker,” if you ask Maddie. Both sisters have authored books and released clothing and beauty lines. Any move they make on social media immediately garners millions of likes and comments.

Looking back on their hugely successful but often stressful first decade of fame, both Ziegler sisters cite one important constant: their friendship. Yes, they often fought and were pitted against each other on the show, but according to them, the experience of growing up on screen while navigating almost constant pressure to perform actually strengthened their bond. For Elite Daily’s BFF issue, Maddie and Kenzie interview each other about life in the public eye, finding their individual strengths, how they approach relationships (ahem: boys), and why they’ll always have each other’s back.

Our teacher, the environment we were in — it was all very stressful as a kid.

Kenzie Ziegler: When did you realize we had an unusual childhood?

Maddie Ziegler: We got pulled out of school every day to go to dance and film a TV show, so that was not normal at all. We ended up not even finishing [at our] elementary school, because we got pulled out so much for work. And then once we started traveling, people started recognizing us. I remember we were in an ice cream store and someone called our names, and we were so freaked out. Like, how did these people know us? And then we realized, Oh, there’s a lot of attention around our show.

Kenzie: Yeah. It was so unusual, but I don’t even remember a time before.

Maddie: I don’t think we processed how unusual it was for a 6- and 8-year-old. Luckily, me and you had each other.

What’s a time growing up [when] you were glad to have a sister?

Kenzie: When I was younger, I was going through a lot of hate, so I’m glad that I had you. Our teacher, the environment we were in — it was all very stressful as a kid. I’m glad we were doing the same thing so I could have a shoulder to lean on.

Maddie: I feel the same way, even though we fought a lot. And what’s funny is that even though I’m older, most of the time you were the one sticking up for me. We’re so different in the sense that I’m a people-pleaser. I’m super scared to voice my opinion, or at least I used to be. I didn’t want to start any drama. I didn’t want to get in the way. You, on the other hand, speak your opinion. Whenever something’s not right, you’re like, “I’m not going to let this slide.” I admire that about you so much.

Kenzie: I’m the type of person that if I’m in a fight with someone, I don’t really stick up for myself. But when it comes to my friends or you, I will not have it.

Maddie: How did you deal with all the comparisons between us when we were kids?

Kenzie: I handled it pretty badly. I was a bratty kid. We’d be doing interviews, and I’d just be like, “I’m not Maddie,” yelling at you, and you had nothing to do with it. You’re just a good dancer, and we’re sisters, and that was it. But we still get compared to this day. Every sister gets compared, no matter who you are.

Maddie: It broke my heart that you got compared to me so much as a dancer. Like, if you didn’t win, why weren’t you as good as Maddie? That is so heartbreaking. Everyone should be allowed to shine in their own ways. That’s why I was so happy you took [up] singing, because I can’t sing for the life of me. It’s good that we have our own things. We’re allowed to be different.

Kenzie: When’s a time you felt competitive with me, and how did you get over it?

Maddie: Well, literally our whole lives, we competed. And I was absolutely the competitive one in the family.

Kenzie: You still are.

Maddie: I still am, but I’m not as crazy as I used to be. I thought that if I didn’t win a trophy, then I was terrible, I was useless. Now I don’t know where any of my trophies are. They’re so boring.

There was that time we competed in the same category for solos, and you beat me — you got first place, and I got second. I was like, “I cannot believe this. She beat me. She’s younger than me.” It was really hard for me to get over. Now looking back, I’m like, “That is amazing. She deserved that. Her dance was better.”

I thought that if I didn’t win a trophy, then I was terrible, I was useless. Now I don’t know where any of my trophies are. They’re so boring.

Kenzie: I did rub it in your face, but I had every right to because it would never happen again. I remember writing on my trophy, “I beat Maddie with this trophy,” and you were so mad, and I was like, “You’re going to beat me next week.”

Maddie: We could not be more different when it comes to dance and our strengths.

Kenzie: You love contemporary. You would die for contemporary, I’m pretty sure. And you look so beautiful doing it. I’m more into hip-hop now.

Maddie: I feel like our strengths in dance [match] our personalities. I’m so sensitive and emotional, so that’s what I gravitate toward, the emotional contemporary dancing. And you can be super sassy. You were always so powerful, so strong when you danced, and hard-hitting. That’s why you’re so good at hip-hop, jazz, gymnastics. That was always your forte.

Kenzie: Not anymore.

Maddie: I’m sure if I asked you to do a standing back tuck right now, you could do it.

Kenzie: Maybe, but I can’t touch my toes. So that’s probably done.

Let’s talk about how I got you into TikTok, because I did, and I’m the only person you follow, which is so nice.

Maddie: It took a very long time for you to convince me to join. I had a fake account just to watch your TikToks. I would also try the dances, but I would just put them in my drafts.

Kenzie: You were telling me, “I will never tell you my TikTok,” [then] you followed my account, and I was like “Why is BonjoviLover...”

But I remember you called me a few months ago, and you were like, “I’ve made a TikTok,” and I was like, “There’s no way.” When I film a TikTok, I film it once, then I post it. I don’t really care what I look like. You did it 10 times and were like, “What do I say? What do I do?” And I was like, “It’s just fun. You can do whatever you want on it.”

Maddie: I didn’t understand. Now I’m better at it. A little bit. But I do love the app, and that is because of you. You are the best TikTokker, without a doubt.

Kenzie: No.

Maddie: You do the best transitions. You do the best dances, but also, like you said, you’ll learn a dance and film it once. You don’t even watch it back; you just post it. You have such a carefree mentality about it, like, “This is me, whether you like it or not.” It’s so amazing.

You’ve definitely helped me realize, in relationships, that I can’t let guys walk all over me.

Kenzie: You’re just hyping me up.

I like the app because you can be very real. On Instagram, everyone has to look perfect, and we worry about what we post. But on TikTok, you can post a video with no makeup, straight out of bed, or doing the craziest, stupid stuff, and everyone will think it’s funny or be like, “Oh, I love how authentic you are.” It’s more of a drama-free zone. The other day, you and I filmed that TikTok of us just shimmying in a car, and it was just fun and everyone loved it.

Maddie: People have started to comment way more positive things.

Kenzie: Before you joined, when we would learn dances together on my account, the comments would be like, “Maddie’s better.” And I was like, “OK, we know.” I stopped posting with you because I was like, “This is just so stressful and annoying.” And then I was like, “Whatever, I’m going to post with her again.” And I did, and it was way worse. So then I posted a video and said, “Hey, I know you all think it’s cool to compare us, but I’ve been compared to her my whole life. So if you’re going to comment, just comment something positive.” Now it’s more like, “They dance so well together. They look like they’re having so much fun.” I think people understand now that we don’t do it to compete.

Maddie: Exactly. We do it for fun.

Is there any good advice I’ve given you over the years, as an older sister?

Kenzie: You’ve definitely helped me realize, in relationships, that I can’t let guys walk all over me. Now I don’t do that at all, but you saw it firsthand, and you were so angry about it, and I totally shut you out. I was like, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Then I really thought about it, and I was like, she’s right. Every time you’ve been right.

Maddie: I was like, “I think he’s using you,” but you’re blinded when you’re in the middle of a relationship. Eventually you understood. I knew you would. It’s one of those things where even if I told you a million times, you had to figure it out yourself.

I think as much as I’m a people-pleaser and you stand up for yourself, in relationships you’re a people-pleaser, too. We both want to make everyone happy around us. We don’t want to stir the pot. That’s how Mom is, too. Our whole family.

Kenzie: It’s a blessing and a curse.

Maddie: It is. But I’m really happy we’ve both gotten to a point in relationships where we’re comfortable voicing our opinion without worrying we’re going to hurt someone’s feelings.

Kenzie: And we can talk to each other. When I was younger, I wouldn’t tell you a lot of things, because I thought you would either tattle on me or tell me I was doing something wrong. I’m glad we’re older and more mature. We don’t live together anymore, which is sad, but now we’re best friends.

Maddie: I was thinking about that the other day, when we were in the car together crying-laughing. Usually we’d be screaming at each other, and now we’re having so much fun.

Kenzie: What’s your least favorite thing about me? I’m just curious.

Maddie: I can’t think of anything.

Kenzie: There’s something.

Maddie: How impatient you are. If I don’t do something you asked for straight away, you’re so mad.

Kenzie: My answer ties in with that.

Maddie: What is it? I take too long?

Kenzie: No, it’s how you zone out. I’ll be like, “Hey, Maddie, can you take pictures of me for this?” And you’re just not answering. I’ll be like, “Maddie.” And you’ll be like, “What?” And I’ll say, “What did I ask you?” And you’re like, “I don’t know. I wasn’t listening.”

Maddie: It’s not personal. I do it to everyone. I’m very distracted.

Oh, I have a question. I moved into this apartment and have a guest room all nice for Kenzie, and she never comes over. Why?

Kenzie: You know why I don’t come over.

Maddie: Because you can’t drive. Get an Uber.

Kenzie: I’m not allowed to Uber anymore. Mom just says, “Don’t Uber. It’s scary.” But another reason is, “Hmm, do I want to go over to Maddie’s and she’s going to fall asleep at nine o’clock?”

Maddie: Remember when we had a sleepover and started watching TV, and you were like, “You’re not going to fall asleep now, right?” And I was like, “Definitely not.” And I was out.

Kenzie: You’re a grandma, fully.

Maddie: Sorry, this is so random, but do I have to pick you up today?

Kenzie: Yes.

Maddie: I have to take this girl everywhere.

Kenzie: Getting my license in a week. Just wait.

Top Image Credits: On Kenzie: Louis Vuitton clothing and shoes, Jennifer Fisher earrings, Talent’s own earrings; On Maddie: Chanel clothing, bracelet, and belt, Lizzie Fortunato earrings, Mejuri rings, Free People socks, Dr. Martens boots

Photographer: Paley Fairman

Stylist: Tiffany Reid

Hair: Danielle Priano

Makeup: Tonya Brewer

Manicure: Emi Kudo & Thuy Nguyen

Set Designer: Bette Adams

Bookings: Special Projects

Videographer: Sam Miron

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[iamvegorott]

A Small Glitch Chapter 18

Glitched Out

Anti had a large smirk on his face as he held Wilford’s gun out in front of him. Green pixels were twirling around the barrel, they were also wrapped around the rest of his body and small green butterfly wings were peeking out from behind him.

“Anti!” All of the egos cried out.

“Did you miss me?” Anti petted one of his wings. “I just needed a little upgrade.” He winked before throwing the gun into the air. Anti curled up a little, crossing his arms over his body before letting out a shout and throwing them back out. The pixels blew out into shards that struck several of the virus’ down and went through the egos as if they were nothing. Rus had to glitch multiple times to avoid getting hit. The wings changed their form and now looked like holographic bat wings. Anti caught the gun and aimed it back at Rus. “By the way, the only one that can call me a glitch, is me.” Anti fired off several rounds, sending out, not bullets, but compact pixels. Rus rolled his eyes before glitching away.

“Did you really think firing at me would-” Rus stopped when he saw that the pixels have curved around and still heading towards him. The pixels hit him in both shoulders and the center of his chest, covering him in green spots. “What the hell!?” Rus shouted when he tried to glitch and couldn’t

“I’m sick of your glitching,” Anti stated before tossing the gun to Wilford, the green parts that had etched themselves into the barrel became pink. Wilford smirked at the other virus’ and started shooting at all of them, the remaining egos all cheered and went back to fighting.

“You still can’t stop me.” Rus growled.

“You fucked with dads. You never fuck with a dad.” Anti’s wings stretched out. “You also made my husband cry and that can’t go unpunished. Loving the wings, babe.” He added with a wink.

“Same for you.” Dark grinned.

“Fuck off!” Rus threw his hand across his body, sending blue shards flying towards Dark and Anti. Both of them flapped their wings and leaped up into the air. Anti flew towards Dark, letting him catch his arm and leg so he could be swung around and thrown towards Rus at a faster speed. Anti scooped Rus off of the ground and threw him towards Dark. Dark caught the man by his hair and threw him back to Anti. Anti swooped around Rus, grabbing his ankle and looping him in a circle before sending him to the ground.

“That was fun!” Anti laughed, doing a flip in the air. “Let’s do it again!” Anti started to fly back down but had to roll over to prevent himself from getting hit by a blue shard. “Rude.” Dark avoided several shards as well before grabbing Rus’ shoulders, throwing him up. Rus turned himself around and threw out another shard. Dark hissed as it scratched his arm, tearing through the fabric of his shirt and blood seeping from the wound. Anti caught Rus and dove to the ground, slamming the older virus into it. “Do. Not. Hurt. Dark.” Anti growled, pinning Rus down by the neck. Rus put his hands on Anti’s chest and a blast sent Anti flying.

“Anti!” Dark rushed over to Anti when he saw the virus coughing up blue pixels.

“Get...him…” Anti croaked between coughs.

“Rus!” Dark turned and launched himself towards Rus, moving to fast to prevent himself from getting hit with a cloud of blue pixels as well. “It tastes like shit,” Dark said as he forced the pixels out of his throat. Anti and Dark both slowly got up and went for Rus together, both of them getting sent back further by a burst of energy.

“Daddy! Papa!” Annalise cried and ran over to her fallen dads.

“You can’t stop me! I am the oldest virus! I am the strongest and smartest there will ever be!” Rus shouted, walking over to the two. “I have spent centuries building gathering and training virus’! I have been working since before humanity knew what a pixel was! Before electricity was even a word! The world will belong to the virus’ and I will not have a malfunction and a deranged demon prevent me from getting what we deserve!” Anti’s and Dark’s wings were beginning to fade, their energy being absorbed by the pixels in their lungs. “You two are not fathers! You’re just creatures that should have never been formed!” Rus was blind to the orange pixels slowly building up behind him. “You two are going to die here! Your friends are going to die here. I will find your hosts and kill them! I’ll kill their friends and family! I’ll kill anyone that has ever associated with you! All of them are going to die because you couldn’t just let a little girl go! She’s not even yours! She has nothing to do with you! It was pure luck that she ended up at your door! You are nothing! You mean nothing! You-” Rus stopped when he saw the shadow of a large butterfly in front of him. He looked up and saw that Annalise was standing, her hands, soaked with Anti’s blood, were up in the air. A pair of holographic butterfly wings were on her back, fluttering with anger. “Don’t you dare-”

“Time-out,” Annalise said before throwing her hands down, the butterfly collapsing on top of Rus. His scream rang out as the butterfly became a large wave of orange pixels. The leftover virus’ screamed as well as they and their fallen kin were absorbed as well. The pixels went through the egos as if it was just water. Anti and Dark were panting and patting their chests, the blue pixels gone. The pixels all turned back and went into Annalise. The little girl tensed up until all of the pixels were absorbed and her wings shattered. “Bad people get time-out,” Annalise said before falling over.

“Ann!” Anti scrambled on his hands and knees over to Annalise and scooped her up.

“Sleepy,” Annalise said in a soft voice.

“Same, princess, same.” Anti brushed away the stray hairs on Annalise’s face. “Oh, shit.” It hit Anti hard when he realized how exhausted he was himself. He lost a lot of blood, came back from the dead, had his energy sucked out of him, he needed a nap as well.

“Is everyone okay?” Dark called, standing up.

“No one’s severely hurt, but we do need to get somewhere safe to patch up and rest.” Dr. Iplier called back.

“I don’t think any of us have the energy to teleport,” Wilford said from his kneeling position.

“Is that pixel portal thing still open?” Bim asked while Dr. Schneepelstein was looking at his nose.

“I can’t do anything without bandages.” The doctor huffed.

“If my pixels are still active, we should be able to go through it,” Anti said. “But I don’t think I can get up.” He added with a weak laugh.

“I got you.” Dark scooped Anti up bridal style with Annalise laying on the virus’ chest. “I got you.” He repeated as he walked, his own legs screaming but he pushed it aside, he needed to get his family somewhere safe and soft to sleep.

“Did we win?” Chase asked as he leaned against Marvin, who looked to be in pain as well.

“We won.” Dark nodded and lead the group of limping egos. “Good.” Dark let out a sigh of relief when he saw that the portal was still open. He went in first and blinked against the change of light when he made it through.

“I thought you guys just left that...holy shit.” Mark’s comment about the portal went away when he saw how all the egos looked.

“Hey man, I just came back from the dead...can I crash on your couch?”  

Tag List: @readeatfightlove13 @kenzie-110101

[daryl-dixsin]

Witchcraft: Part 4

Daryl Dixon x Fem OC

Up The Road A Ways

       "Mack, can you make that thing shut up?" Lori commanded, voice groggy. She was even worse than I was in the mornings, which really says something. I slowly sat up, rubbing my eyes with one hand while reaching for my phone with the other. I quickly silenced it, squinting at the bright screen to see what all the notifications were. Within the past ten minutes I had gotten emails from all my professors and text messages from all the friends I had made in each of my classes informing me everything had been cancelled. 

        "Weird..." I said, wondering why everything had been cancelled so suddenly. I rubbed my eyes once again, looking to the side to see Lori and Carl still sound asleep. After Carl came in and told us about his nightmare, we had all decided just to sleep in here in case he had another. "Lori," I said softly, nudging her awake, "All my classes got cancelled, do you want me to take Carl to school so you can sleep in?" I asked, earning a muffled 'yes.' "Alright kiddo, you ready to get up?" I cooed, tapping Carl of the shoulder, "You gotta get ready for school."

        I got up, heading to the bathroom to get ready while Carl went back into his own room to get all his things together for school. I quickly slipped on a pair of skinny jeans with a black tank top and my favorite red flannel before brushing my teeth and hair. Once I was done, I made my way to the living room, leaving Lori to sleep in, as she clearly needed it. 

        "You ready to go, kiddo?" I asked Carl as I sat down next to him, pulling on my boots as he tied his shoes, "Make sure you have your lunch and all your homework," I reminded him, smiling as he nodded, still half asleep. "Grab one of my extra thermoses while your at it, we'll stop and get some hot chocolate on the way, sound good?" I barely finished my sentence before he ran to the kitchen and back, happily clutching the thermos.

        Once in the car, I started off to the coffee shop, looking around at everything, as it was increasingly quiet today. Concern must have been evident on my face, because Carl slowly caught on, looking around at everything we passed quizzically. Luckily, the coffee shop was still open long enough to get Carl his breakfast of hot chocolate. However, once we made it to the school, it looked deserted.

        "Did we get here too early?" Carl asked, looking up at me, confused, "The parking lot is usually super busy and my teacher is usually standing over there before school starts," he said, pointing to a closed door with absolutely nobody around it.

        "I wonder if your school got cancelled too..." I trailed off, picking up my phone from the car door pocket after I had parked, "I'll look up your school's website and see if there's any information," I thought out loud, opening up the web page. I raised my eyebrows, turning to Carl, "Looks like it's both our lucky days, huh?" I smiled at Carl, showing him the screen that read, ALL SCHOOLS HAVE BEEN CANCELLED TODAY.

        "Alright!," he cheered, looking forward to all the video games he was going to play on his day off, "Wanna play Mario Kart with me, Kenzie?" He asked eagerly. It was his favorite game and he knew it was one of my favorites as well.

        "If you want, man," I said, giving him side-eye, "But there's no way you're gonna beat me!" I teased him, starting the car up again and pulling out of the parking lot and heading back to the house. "I mean, look who actually knows how to drive," I challenged him, making him laugh.

        "Save it for the tracks!" He challenged right back, making me laugh in return.

        "What are you guys doing back so soon?" Lori called from the kitchen as Carl and I opened the door, entering the house. Carl ran over to tell his mom the exciting news while I shut the door and took my boots off. After the door was locked, I made my way over to the kitchen, joining them. "His school was cancelled too?" she asked, taking eggs and vegetables out from the fridge to make breakfast. 

        "Yeah, I thought with all the bad news going around and the schools being closed, we could all just take a day to relax," I offered, getting dishes out for Lori, "Carl and I were gonna play Mario Kart, if you'd like to join us?" I smiled at Lori, knowing how bad she was at video games.

        "Oh, that is all you two," she responded, laughing, "Let's eat some breakfast, then you two can play your games while I read," she said, putting a hand on Carl's shoulder, who was also smiling.

        I leaned down to match Carl's height and put my hand up to whisper, "She's just afraid I'll beat her; she always lost at Mario Kart when we were kids," I shot him a wink as he began to laugh.

        "You know I can hear you, right?" Lori raised her eyebrows at me, pretending to hit me with the frying pan before beginning to make omelettes, making Carl and I laugh even harder.

        "Got you again, punk!" I teased Carl as we finished another race, ruffling his hair.

        "Hey, no fair, I had a red shell I was gonna use!" He retorted, reaching over to ruffle my hair for revenge.

        "Now, now, you two," Lori mocked in a pretend threatening tone, "Don't make me come over there and break that fight up," she said, laughter coming from all of us. 

        It had been a really nice day, which was needed by all of us, as they came few and far between with Rick being in the hospital and news reports gradually getting worse. All day, we had just been eating snacks, cracking jokes, and just having as good of a time as we could. Carl and I had switched back and forth between Mario Kart and Smash Bros while Lori had finished reading through a book or two. And although we had all had a great time, I knew something had been wrong with the schools and most other places being closed. As hard as I tried not to think about it, my suspicions were confirmed as I heard a knock at the door. 

        "I got it," I said, holding a hand out to stop Lori from getting up. I made my way to the door, blindly hoping it was Rick or even the mail man. Things couldn't get worse. Not now. I started opening the door, only for my heart to sink as I saw Shane standing there. Alone.

        "Hey, Mackenzie," He began, tone heavy and grim, "We've gotta go."

        I just blinked, "What... what do you mean we've gotta go?" I asked, almost at a loss for words as I saw the scenes behind him unfolding. It was getting dark and almost all of our neighbors were frantically loading their cars with bags. "Do you mean..." I began, voice getting quieter each time I spoke.

        "It's happening," Shane said, looking me in the eyes, voice firm, "And I've gotta get you guys out before it gets worse," he almost demanded as I opened the door wider for him to enter. "Lori?! Carl?! You guys here too?!" Shane called, making his way to the living room as I closed the door, following close behind.

        "We're here, what's going on?" Lori immediately set her book down as she stood up, seeing the urgency on Shane's face, "Is everything okay?" She began to sound worried, noticing my expression shared the same urgency. Even Carl set the controller down and stood up, wondering what was happening.

        "Listen, Lori, you're not gonna like this, but we've gotta go," Shane said, scanning each of our faces, "And we've gotta hurry; go on and get your things, come on." However, no matter how many times Shane gave an instruction, all Lori did was stand there and stare at him like he was a mad man. Which, to be honest, he kinda sounded like one when he got worked up like this.

        "What do you mean we've got to go?" Lori snapped, half annoyed, half terrified, "I'm not going anywhere without my husband. Now where is he?" She demanded, earning a defeated look from Shane and a worried look from Carl and I.

        "Lori, please, we don't have time," Shane began, trying to convince her to get a move on, "We've gotta-"

        "Where. Is. My. Husband." In my 24 years of life, this was the most upset I've ever seen Lori.

        "He's dead, Lori," Shane spat, disgusted that those words ever had to leave his mouth.

        Time seemed to have frozen over. Lori sank down to the floor, tears threatening to fall as she stared at nothing. Carl looked down to his feet, clenching his fists to try and stop the tears of his own. I could have cried, I could have covered my face in anguish, I could have felt lost. But I didn't feel any of those things. I just felt angry. I never liked Shane in the first place; thought he was odd, but this confirmed it. The way he avoided eye contact, hell, the way he avoided looking at Lori altogether. All I could do was glare at him as he picked Lori up from the ground.

        "What the hell do you mean, he's dead?" I challenged, not willing to accept this news so easily, "First you tell me we need to get out of here as fast as we can, now you mean to tell me Rick is dead? He's in a coma, Shane, and we're not leaving without him," I stood firmly, looking him dead in the eye, although he wouldn't return my gaze.

        Shane looked down in response, dragging a hand across his forehead to wipe the sweat away, "I tried to go get him from the hospital before I came here," he began, only to get a skeptical look from me in response, "I almost didn't get out. Police and soldiers were everywhere, just shooting people... Shooting patients," he finished, finally making eye contact with me.

        "My dad got shot?" Carl looked up at Shane, beginning to cry before running to the arms of his mother, who, through tears, managed to regain composure.

        "Listen, I didn't want any of this to go the way it did, but we've really gotta go now," Shane said, gesturing towards the window, where flashing lights could be seen through the gaps in the curtains.

        At that, we all went upstairs to quickly gather our things. I grabbed a duffel bag and a backpack, packing the duffel full of clothes and toiletries, leaving some of my more personal things for the backpack. After gathering essentials, I grabbed my computer, my phone, a couple books, everything off my altar, and my Book of Shadows, shoving it all into my backpack. Once I was downstairs, I helped Shane gather up some food and fill some reusable containers with water to load in the car. Nobody knew where we were going or how long we'd be gone, but we wanted to be prepared either way.

        After getting the car all packed up, we all piled in; Shane driving, Lori on the passenger's side, with Carl and I in the back, and began following all the cars out of the neighborhood.

        "I hope we aren't stuck here too long..." I began, only to be cut off by a helicopter flying above us, collecting all our attention until it continued towards the city. Just like all the others had. We all just went back to our business; Shane trying to find a signal on the radio, Lori watching as Carl played checkers with a young girl he had befriended while we were stuck here, and me, looking through my Book of Shadows to try and find some sort of protection spell to settle my nerves. Of course it wouldn't solve everything, but at least I'd feel better.

        "Are we gonna go soon?" The little girl piped up, looking towards her parents, impatience overcoming her fear.

        "I don't know baby..." Her mother answered, looking between us and her husband, hoping someone had an answer.

        A bit tired of waiting myself, I pushed myself off of the car that I'd been leaning against and looked over to Lori, "Hey, I'm gonna head into the trees and do a quick protection spell, but I'll be right back okay?" I placed a hand on her shoulder, earning a nod before I turned around and started off.

        "Don't go too far, you hear me?" Shane called after me, making me roll my eyes as I lifted an arm to show I heard him, "Witchcraft ain't gonna stop the dead, Mack!" He teased, warning me to be careful while trying to make me laugh at the same time. Ever since I snapped at him back at the house he'd been tirelessly trying to get back on my good side. The jokes, I didn't much mind, but him calling me 'Mack' had really started to get on my nerves. 

        I finally reached a spot I found comfortable; I was shrouded by trees and there was a stump I could use to set up a temporary altar. I couldn't see any sign of people, just a truck with a motorcycle in the bed that looked to be abandoned for the moment. Hopefully I'd be done before they came back, it was just a quick spell, after all. Once all my materials were set up, I began a soft chant as I lit a match to light up some white sage, only to smolder it soon after. I let the smoke from the burning sage waft around me, as I continued chanting, hoping this would at least calm my nerves for a while. I had just started to relax when I felt a presence behind me.

        "Well what do we have here?" A man spoke in an extremely sarcastic tone, seeming to take pleasure in scaring the shit out of people. I jerked my head around, throwing the burning sage in his direction as my only defense mechanism. Not a very good one either, because the man had caught the small leafy bundle with ease, managing to avoid the embers.

        "You're gon' burn this damn forest down with that hippy shit, girl," a second man spoke, almost angrily, emerging from the trees in which the other man had come from.

       "Now what are you doin' out here all alone during a crisis situation like this, lil' lady?" The first man spoke once more, finding this situation extremely entertaining.

        "Nothing," I snapped, eyeing them both. I couldn't see very well in the dark, but I could see enough to make out a resemblance between the two. The first man wore a cheesy grin and was taller and more wide-set than the other, who was straight faced and muscular, carrying a large weapon on his back. "Just give me my sage and leave me alone," I demanded, not in the mood to play games.

        "Woah oh oh! She got a mouth on her, don't she, brother?" The man teased, clearly trying to get a reaction out of me as he waved the sage in front of my face, "You'll get this back once you learn to be nicer, little girl," he cooed in a mocking tone, which just made me roll my eyes and glare.

        "Man, just give it back, Merle," the other man groaned, seemingly tired of his brother's shit, "She ain't done nothin', just let her be," he finished, snatching the sage from the man's hand and putting the embers out on the forest floor, like one would do with a lit cigarette, before walking over and handing it to me. "Just don't set nothin' on fire and we won't have a problem," he looked me in the eyes, holding his hand out to return my sage bundle.

        "How sweet of you," I said sarcastically as I reached out, "I wo- AH-," I was cut off by an obnoxiously loud explosion, which scared me to the point of grabbing the man's hand instead of the sage. The three of us swiftly turned our attention to the sound of that blast, realizing bombs had begun to go off in Atlanta. I stood there staring at the city, still gripping the man's hand, as tears threatened to fall. If Shane was lying like I believed he was, maybe now Rick really was dead. 

        "Ooh, looky here, Daryl, ya got yourself a girlfriend," the man, apparently named Merle, teased yet again, seeming not to care about anything important that was going on.

        I then snapped out of my thoughts and quickly started gathering my things back into my backpack, not even having time to react at how much embarrassment I had just caused myself. Once everything was back into my pack, I started sprinting back to the car, hoping Lori, Carl, and Shane were still there.

        "Hold up, lil' lady, you didn't even give 'im your number!" Merle called after me, laughing obnoxiously.

        "Man, shut up!" I barely heard Daryl scold his brother before smacking him upside the head. Now, even with everything going on, that made me laugh.

        Even though I was only gone for a mere moment, I returned to a scene that was almost unrecognizable. A lot of the cars were gone, but the road was still jammed, which could only lead me to believe many people had gone off roading like Daryl and Merle had been. Along the road were bits of luggage that seemed to have been left in a panic, as I saw many people running back to their vehicles, just as I was now. However, all that faded into the back of my mind as my ears picked up the last thing I wanted to hear. Moaning. 

        I quickly looked around, making sure nothing dangerous was in close vicinity, before breaking into a sprint once again, finally reaching the section of road Shane, Lori, and Carl were supposed to be.

        "Son of a bitch."

        No time to feel sorry for myself, I pulled my athame out of my pack and ran back to the wooded area I had previously come from on pure adrenaline and instinct alone. I didn't exactly know what I was going to do once I got there, but I had a gut feeling that protection spell was giving me a sign all along.

        Retracing my steps once again, I found myself back at the place where I had met the two brothers, hoping to catch a trace of them. I looked around for a minute, seeing no movement, not even around the truck. Although I had to admit, I was relieved to see the truck was still there. I had the urge to call out their names, but I knew that would be just about the worst possible thing I could do in this situation. The moaning had grown ever fainter, to the point I couldn't really even hear it anymore, but I wasn't taking any chances. Running out of ideas, I just decided to wait by the truck.

        A fair amount of time had passed, but not enough to make me abandon this plan any time soon. I remembered Daryl having a large weapon on his back, so maybe they were hunting? They sounded pretty rugged and they drive trucks and motorcycles, so that possibility didn't seem too far fetched to me.

        I had gotten lost in my thoughts yet again, trying to pass the time and avoid becoming impatient when I heard the rustling of footsteps coming from the trees in front of me. Finally.

        "Took you guys long enough," I teased lightly, assuming if they would remember me, the 'mouth I had on me' would help them do it, "I know we met on pretty odd terms, but I..."

        My voice suddenly stopped and my eyes widened at what had emerged from the trees. It was the shape and size of a woman, but it didn't look like a woman. It was walking with a limp, had foggy, glossed over eyes, and looked as if it had just been attacked. I didn't know what to do. I knew they were out there, but I didn't know what they were. Nobody really did.

        Not willing to let fear get the better of me, I clenched my athame, took a deep breath, and mentally prepared myself for what was about to happen. I barely had time to process what was happening as I lunged forward, grabbed the creature by the neck, and pinned it to a nearby tree. It was snarling at this point, reaching out to me, and snapping its jaws. I wasn't about to take any chances, so I forcefully plunged the blade of my athame into its eye socket, causing it to fall limp.

        "What... the hell... did I just do..." I questioned myself, pulling the blade out before taking a few steps back, looking at the view before me, "I just... killed something..."

        I couldn't tell if I was scared, confused, or a mix of both, but what I did know, was that I wasn't going to keep standing out in the open anymore. I didn't care if I didn't know Daryl and Merle well and I didn't care that this was super illegal. I was getting in that damn truck.

        Taking one last look at the creature laying lifeless on the forest floor, I scurried back to the truck, hoping it was unlocked. I pulled on the handle, giving a sigh of relief as I found it was, and climbed inside. Within a few minutes, the events of the day had all caught up with me and I fell asleep, curled up on the passenger seat, athame still in my grasp.

[pastelbatfandoms]

Pt2

A/N: as I’m not Asexual this was a tad tricky to write his point of View,I hope I did it Justice! at least a bit. it will go into more detail as the story progresses. This IS Middle School and he doesn’t really know what he is yet....  Also The gif of Kenzi is supposed to be me.

Jughead Pov

Jughead Jones. Glutton,Sleuth,Gamer,Dog & Nap lover,Best Friend and certified woman hater. (though he wasn’t that interested in guys either contrary to popular belief) Sidekick to Archie Andrews,Jughead never thought he’d one day be jealous of his best friend since childhood. Jughead had an unfamiliar burning in his chest and no it wasn’t heartburn caused by the large Jalapeno Burger he had consumed that afternoon at Pop’s,this was over,of all things,A GIRL,his best friends girl to be exact. 

 Jughead had never had Romantic inclinations towards any girl,that included The literal girl next door and his second best friend Betty Cooper. Jughead put up with Veronica only because come 5th Grade she had become a member of what had now been known as The Core Four. High end Girls weren’t his type,overly needy,over the top girls weren’t his type,hell no one was his type,not even Archie or Betty. Jug had always been disinterested,he didn’t know why,he just was. only thing that got a heart stopping reaction from him was well food.  

The only girl he loved was his sister,little Jellybean. until now. Michelle Renee showed up and everything changed. first Jughead ignored it,feelings what are those? Go away! Jug new it was bad timing to feel this way and he should just forget it and go back to being disinterested,platonic Jughead. so day after day he tried to joke around with Michelle and hang out with Archie like old times but it got to difficult and he was too confused to pretend anymore. so he,along with Betty,kept there distance and drifted away,only hanging out together and Jughead listened silently while Betty cried over Archie and they conversed over their lost Friendships,until Cheryl Blossom came along. 

A few months later....

Betty and Jughead were walking down the hall of their Middle School talking about Ms Grundy’s terrible Music lecture. “Ms Grundy herself is just terrible.” Jughead commented snidely. when they spotted Michelle in the open cafeteria alone,head in her hands. “Is she crying?” Betty worried. Jughead frowned in concern and followed Betty who was making her way over to Michelle across the hall. Yes Jughead had mixed feelings for Michelle but he still cared about her and was curious to know why she was upset.

“Hey Shelle,what’s wrong?” Betty asked a hand on Michelle’s shoulder.  “Bets?” Michelle looks up in surprise,black liner tears streaming down her face. Her Brown eyes widen as she sees Jughead standing there,worrying his bottom lip,concern and apprehension on his perfect features.               “Juggie?” what are you guys...”                                                                    “Well um we wanted to check on you.” Jughead said,scratching his head and looking away nervous.                                                                                     “we were worried about you” said Betty ,who sat down in the chair next to her. “Why?” frowned Michelle.                                                                              Jughead scoffed,still standing. “We’re still your friends.”                                       “yeah we still care about you.” Betty insisted.                                               Michelle let out a shy smile,than shaking her head replied. “It’s Archie.” she looked down at her hands.                                                                          “What about him?” Jughead asked crossing his arms,furrowing his brow in        real concern looking at her intently this time.                                          

Michelle sighed and wiped her eyes. “He cheated on me,with Cheryl Blossom.” Michelle revealed getting straight to the point.                                                      Betty Frowned. “The new girl?”                                                                            Jughead closed his eyes in discontent. his mouth set in that hard line it often did when he was displeased or just plain over someone or something. “of course he did”

Jughead shook his head,he was over something all right his best friend’s idiotic,selfish antics. You have a Brain Archie,use it. Jughead thought in exasperation.                                                                                                       Betty lowered her head toward Michelle and said. “I’m so sorry.” she hugged her and asked. ‘What happened?”                                                                        Michelle smiled and said. “I knew you of all people would understand Betty.” she heaved a heavy sigh and continued. “Well The Blossom Twins showed up and right away I could see Archie light up,he talked to her a lot,he tried to be nonchalant like it wasn’t a big deal but I could tell Archie is not subtle.” 

 Betty nodded and made a face in agreement. Jughead let out a tsk and smirked. “That’s for sure.”                                          

  Michelle looked at Jughead then back over at Betty. “Right.So I wasn’t all that surprised when I caught them flirting by her locker during school,I let it go,but then yesterday after school,I was waiting for Archie to walk me home and spotted him and Cheryl kissing by the field. I was so I just left and I haven’t talked to him sense. he’s tried calling but I won’t answer. I’m just done with him.” Michelle explains sadly.

Betty rubs Michelle’s back as Jughead listens in visibly bothered. Neither Betty nor Michelle seem to notice,too upset over Archie. “If i might ask why did you and Archie date in the first place?” Betty wondered genuinely curious.                Michelle let out a breath and started to explain. “Well he could be sweet and I had never had a boyfriend before,Archie asked so I thought why not?besides it’s not like....” Michelle trailed off glancing at Jughead then quickly looked away,smiling at Betty.  “It’s nothing. It;s not like we were invested anyway,it’s just embarrassing.”                                                                                              “I’m sure it was.you guys were together for 3 months.” Betty agreed.                  As Betty consoled Michelle,Jughead couldn’t help but stare at them confused. What was that look for? what was she going say...why do I care? Jughead thought to himself  Because you like her. his conscience taunted.

Jughead shook his head in annoyance,not wanting to go there. but he was feeling strangely protective over Michelle and angry at Archie. “Arch shouldn’t be let off the hook to keep doing this.” Jughead said aloud in a low tone,almost to himself,frowning.                                                                                       Betty and Michelle turn and look at him in surprise at  his heated tone. “Jughead don’t do anything rash.” Betty warned,knowing how he was when he wanted to get to the bottom of something or felt someone was being disrespected.                                                                                                        “Juggie you don’t have to-” Michelle was cut off as Jughead shook himself out of his reverie and smiled at her. “Don’t worry Bets,Shelle. I’m just going to have a talk with Arch. we’re friends,he’ll understand.” Jughead continued smiling but it dropped and a hard expression came over his features as he turned and walked determinedly towards the front doors of the school.                           Betty put an arm around Michelle as they got up. “C’mon I’ll walk with you home.” “What about...” Betty smiled more reassuringly then she felt. “They’ll be fine. They’re best friends,it’s not like it’ll end up in a fist fight.”

A/N:   ok so that was longer than I intended...a lot more gifs too! hopefully it was good,To be Continued soon! Also sorry if your reading this on Mobile and all the pictures/Gifs don’t show up nothing I can do!

Tumblr REALLY needs an Indent button and no double spacing!!!

PART 1

http://pastelgothsugarmonster.tumblr.com/post/157660359039/pastelgothsugarmonster-anthe-oc-is-based-on-me

Part 3 

http://pastelgothsugarmonster.tumblr.com/post/157682852174/part-3-anso-upcoming-fight-scene-sortai-think

[allegramurphy]

Doctor’s Visit ~ Damen Peters

I couldn’t put it off any longer. Although I didn’t think it was serious at the time, my wrist hurt even more now. Alexi had no idea it was already bothering me when we practiced the lift. If I hadn’t cried out, I might have hidden it from him. Luckily he caught me before I fell and hurt myself worse. I barely convinced him that he didn’t need to drive me to the emergency room. I got the name of a doctor from Kenzi, showered, and changed clothes before driving over to a local clinic. He didn’t ask for it, but I sent Alexi a picture of the waiting room so he knew didn’t just blow it off.

———————-

I was just finishing up with who I thought was my last patient when the nurse came and found me. She told me that I had another patient in a room. I smiled as I took the chart and looked it over as I made my way over. I knocked on the door before walking into the room. “Hello, my name is Dr. Damen Peters, how are you?”

-------------------

When there was a knock on the door, I just had enough time to slip my phone into my pocket. I looked up at one of the best-looking doctors I had ever seen. “Hi. I’m Allegra. I’ve been better,” I laughed nervously as I gestured to my left arm. “It’s my wrist. Really sore. During a lift today, I almost fell because the pain was so bad.”

—————-

It took me a moment to realize she was gesturing to her arm, I had been distracted. I quickly smiled and set her chart down, “Did it just start hurting all of a sudden or did you bump it?” I carefully took her wrist in my hands, examining it. Apologizing when I heard her wince.

-------------------

Biting my lip to try not to cry when he touched it, I watched him gently turn my wrist over in his hands. “I went hiking this weekend with some other dancers. Started to slip and put my hand out to stop myself. Didn’t fall, but I think all my weight rested on my wrist for a brief time. It hurt but not bad. Today, during rehearsal, that lift almost had me in tears. Guess it was injured more than I knew.”

------------------------

I examined her wrist for a few more minutes, “I’d really like to take a couple of x-rays to be sure, but I don’t believe it is broken. Just badly sprained.” I picked her chart up and made a few notes. “If you’ll follow me, I can take you now, and we will see what needs to be done after I get the results back. Sound good?” I smiled at her.

---------------

I nodded and got up off the bed. “I can just leave my purse here, right?” He smiled and said that would be fine. I cradled my arm against my chest and followed him down a hallway or two until we were at the x-ray area of the clinic. He asked me if I might be pregnant. “Just as a precaution because of the x-rays. It’s a standard question.” I stood there looking at him for a moment and then had to cover a laugh. “Nope. Not a chance,” I stammered.

----------------

I smiled, “Alright. Have a seat and let’s see what we can find out about your arm.” I waited for her to get comfortable and then went about setting everything up for the x-rays. “Alright, I’m going to start the x-rays now.” When she smiled and nodded, I continued. Once we were done, I smiled, “And that’s all there is to it. Now we’ll head back to your room, and I’ll go get your films.”

---------------

He escorted me back to the examination room and then went to check on the films. I sat back up on the bed and moved my arm a little. Holding it still for the x-rays had been really uncomfortable. While I waited, I looked around the room. I found his diploma on one wall. I was impressed that we went to such a prestigious university. Not that I doubted him. I just hoped when he came back he’d have good news for me.

-------------------

I gathered the films and headed back to the exam room. I knocked on the door and waited a moment before walking in. I smiled, “Well, I have the films, and I have good and bad news.” I stuck the films on the light board and turned it on. I showed her the area of concern, “The good news is it’s not broken. The bad news is it is sprained.” I flipped the light off and turned to face her, “I am going to prescribe something for the pain and suggest you take it easy for a few days and let it heal. I’m also going to wrap it, and I strongly urge you to keep it wrapped. Even if you start to feel a little better.”

-------------------

I exhaled when he said it wasn’t broken. “Sprained is better, right?” I chewed my lip when he said I needed to take it easy for a few days. “So, um by taking it easy you mean no lifts, right? I can still dance?” For the most part, I didn’t need to put any pressure on my wrist in order to rehearse. It was just a few days. “Those pain meds. Are they really strong? Like no driving allowed. You better stay home on the couch strong?”

————————

I couldn’t help but chuckle a little, “Well, I think that depends on you. How bad is the pain? Honestly? There are different types of meds out there that can help. It doesn’t have to be something that will require you to be at home not doing anything. And taking it easy means don’t put pressure on your wrist and try not to over work it. And yes, no lifts.”

--------------------

I exhaled softly. “Right now it’s about a 6? But maybe that’s because of the failed lift. If I fill the prescription, I only have to take it if I really need it, right? Not like an antibiotic?” He nodded watching me. I couldn’t help but shift uncomfortably on the bed. “I can definitely skip the lifts. I have time to work on those. Would….would you mind writing a note saying I can still dance? I have a feeling Alexi, my lift partner earlier, will fight me on it if not.” I laughed a little. It was true though. Alexi and Kenzi were very protective of the dancers and any slight injury.

——————

I chuckled a little and nodded, “I can do that, as long as you promise me you’ll take it easy. As far as the pain medicine, I can give you a stronger ibuprofen to try first. You can try it and if that doesn’t work, you can come back in and we can talk about other options. Does that sound like a better option for you?”

----------------

I couldn’t agree fast enough. “That would be great. Thank you!” He handed me the prescription and then set my file aside so he could wrap my wrist in an elastic bandage. I tried to hold still as much as possible while he worked. “Um, I’m not sure I’ll be able to wrap it quite as well on my own. Would a wrist brace work? Something I could slip on with adjustable straps? I think I’ve seen them in the drugstore.” I wasn’t trying to be difficult. Honest.

————

I chuckled as I finished wrapping her wrist, “Can you wait here for just a moment?” When she nodded, I left the room and returned with a brace. I held it up to her, “Is this what you are talking about?” “Yes, that’s it.” I nodded, “Yes you can use this and it would work just as well. If you do happen to wrap it like I have it now, try to wrap it as close to the way it’s wrapped now as possible.” I grabbed her chart and made some notes, “You can have that brace there as well. If you have any issues you can call me here at the office or,” I wrote my cell phone number on the back of the card, “If you can’t reach me here, just call my cell phone.”

-------------

I took the card in my non-injured hand. “Thanks. I promise not to prank call you.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the confused look on his face. “I was kidding.” He shook his head and chuckled softly. “If you ever want to come see a dance performance, let me know. We’d be happy to give you tickets. I say we because you have a reputation at the school as ‘the’ doctor to go to.” I smiled and tucked his card in my purse next to the prescription.

—————-

I chuckled, “Is that so? Hmm, guess it explains why I always end up with a dancer in my waiting room.” I looked at her and smiled, “Though, I must say this is the first time I’m tempted to ask for tickets to see a performance.”

-------------------

I hoped the blush I felt creeping up my cheeks wasn’t as bright red as it felt. “That sounds like the title of a mystery novel. ‘The Dancer in the Waiting Room’. I wonder if she’s a victim...or the murderer.” I liked hearing him laugh. Maybe a little too much. “Um, when do I need to come back?”

———————

I smiled as I picked her chart back up, “I’m going to say...next week. We can do some more x-rays to make sure everything is healing right with no issues and, depending on how you’re feeling, we may eliminate the brace all together. But make sure you take the ibuprofen. Deal?” I tucked her chart under my arm, “Do you have any other questions for me?” I knew I was stalling letting her leave, but I just couldn’t help it.

----------------------------

“Next week. I can do that. I promise to take the meds if it helps heal my wrist faster. I just need that note saying it’s okay for me to dance. Please?” I stopped myself before batting my lashes like a lovesick school girl. When did I walk into a soap opera? Luckily he didn’t seem to notice.

———————-

I chuckled as I wrote the note for her, making sure to include my number in case whoever had any questions about her injury. I signed it and handed it over with a smile, “There. And I included my personal number with it so that if anyone had any questions they could contact me. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

-------------------

I took the note and tucked it in my purse. “Actually, there is one final thing, but I’m sure you’re busy so I could ask the receptionist on my way out. Thank you for everything. I appreciate you understanding how important my dancing is to me. And that I would never jeopardize my health by pursuing it. I’m not quite that level of crazy. Not yet anyway. Maybe back in New York I could have…..Sorry. Nevermind.” I laughed nervously and got up from the exam bed.

—————-

I couldn’t help but wonder if I was making her nervous. “What is it that you want to ask? I don’t mind answering it, besides once you leave, my day is done. So I’ll be headed out myself.” I smiled at her and slipped my pen in my pocket and her chart under my arm.

-----------------

I fished my phone out of my pocket. “It’s silly really. But could you take a picture of the way my wrist is wrapped so I can make sure to get it right?” I held the phone out to him. “I don’t think I can hold it at the right angle to get a helpful picture.” It sounded so lame when I said it out loud, even if it was true. I chewed the inside of my cheek hoping I hadn’t insulted him.

——————-

I smiled as I took her phone, “I think that’s actually a really great idea. I’ve never thought about doing something like that.” I snapped a few pictures from different angles so she could see how it should look. “There you go. Hopefully, that will help. Is there anything else I can do?”

--------------

I tucked my phone back in my pocket, shaking my head. “Thank you. I thought maybe like with dancing a visual….aid might help. I’ll see you next week.” I smiled and waited while he opened the door and stepped back to let me go through first. “Thanks again, Dr. Peters. Have a good rest of your day.” I took a last look over my shoulder before scurrying off to the reception area to pay for my visit and head home.

————————

I watched as she left. And chuckled to myself as I thought maybe I should take her up on the offer for tickets to a show. I quickly shook my head and took her chart to the front desk. I smiled at Alice as I handed it over. “If there are no more patients, I’m going to head out.” She smiled as she took the chart and nodded, “We’ll see you tomorrow, Doctor.” I waved as I headed out.

----------------------

@damenpeters

[snsmissionaries]

3/30/17 -- Sister Kadence Moss, Ribeirao, Preto Mission

Friday, March 24, 2017

A Week and a Half in the CTM - ALREADY!

Hello Everyone. So this is my first full week and it's been all the emotions you can think of! Learning a new language is so fun, and cool, but definitely hard. I am making progress very slowly. I can say a simple prayer and testimony which is, I think, the most important. I don't get to see Kenzie too often but when I do, we hug!! HaHa

This morning I had a kinda cool experience in the temple. So all week I have been praying for help with the language and so when we got into the celestial room I was sitting there and I just felt peace and warmth I knew that my Savior was there and was letting me know that I'm not doing this alone. I just broke down crying. I felt like I was the only one in the room and He was, like, hugging me. I know through the Lord I can do all things. We had a devotional on Tuesday by M. Russell Ballard. He said something that stood out to me and I want to share that with you all - he said that missionaries are for-ordained to go where they serve. The Lord will not send us somewhere where we can't strive and become the best person He knows we can become. I can't wait to finally get the language down. I am so grateful for this opportunity that my Savior has given me to be here and that He loves me so much that He is willing to put all His efforts on me, to make me become the person He knows I can be.

I know that my Savior lives, and that He is always watching over all His children. I know that He will answer your prayers and that He is excited to hear from you. I am so glad I have come to Brazil, and can't wait to see what is in store for me while I am here! I love you all so much! 

PS. Mommy will you please correct my many English mistakes<3 and I'm OUT of HI-CHEWS <Mom Note: The only mistakes I had to fix were capitalization errors - I'm not sure if the computers in the CTM have the "shift" button! Lol!>

Here is Sister Moss's letter to Mom 

(for a little more insight to her current situation)

Hi Mommy. Yes the girl third from the left (middle row) is my companion, we get along pretty good, still trying to get used to not having Kenzie by me all the time. We barely see each other. but that's okay, my schedule is crazy and always something to do. We wake up at 6:30 and don't stop until 10:30!

Yes today I went to the temple and it was awesome and so beautiful. My Portuguese is okay. I can say my testimony and a very simple prayer now, which is exciting. Most days I can understand some of what they say and others it's just a blur of words. I can read some too, but not a whole lot. The little Portuguese that I know is messing with my English. The hardest part is putting together sentences to say without reading word for word what I want to say. Other than that my district is so great. One of the elders (Elder Mansfield) just became our new zone leader and it's funny because we've only been here 2 weeks, and its been a very long but quick two weeks.

The food is okay - not much taste or flavor to them, so it makes me miss a home cooked meal from you. We aren't aloud to even take pictures until our P-day and it's a very small time gap that we can because we also can't take them out on the streets with us.

Anyway I love you so much and miss you all so much! 

Eu sei que, meu salvador vida, ele morrar por meu. Eu amor o evangelho, ê meu amor Jesus Cristo, En nome Jesus Cristo Amêm

Probably won't translate right because not the right marks with the letters.

Love you all.