#(also i do not support whatever mob entertainment is doing

[polka-dot-com]

OCTOBER 28TH!! mascot horror >:-D

i didn't know what to draw,,, um I thought this would be silly goofy

ignore the blood, i never draw gore :'-)

oooooh another one!!!??? OCTOBER 27TH! youtuber fanart!! :-ooo

this is a character called panda from moriah elizabeth's channel :-)) I love nostalgia

she deserved more love + a little redesign (panda I mean)

[alexanderlightweight]

@faejilly so @saeths and I were talking about how Magnus has a reputation in the mundane underworld because sometimes he has to get involved when magical drugs and etc move over. Plus business deals.

And Alec has like no mundane identity and at first they (mundane ppl) think he’s muscle/bodyguard but Alec gets huffy the first and only time they try to send ‘entertainment’ to him and Magnus and Magnus has a very quiet and intimidating word.

So Alec becomes known through mundane circles as Magnus’ mob wife (cause it’s a position not a gender) and everyone tries to avoid saying it around alec ‘cause he’s scary and stereotypes’

And when alec ‘finds out’ —he’s actually knows for ages— He’s 100% okay with it because 1) it’s a mundane title and he could care less what mundanes think of him unless it could hurt Magnus’ rep 2) he’d rather be called Magnus’ wife than his bodyguard 3) it means he doesn’t have to bother the clave or magnus for a mundane identity

Alec keeps getting chatted up by trophy wife’s and arm pieces and is So Confused™️ because on one hand, he totally gets these really weird mundane women who aggressively Support their husbands, but also they all start crying when he mentions that he and Magnus had to get new rugs because he tracked too much blood in the house and brain matter is apparently a biohazard

Alec with all these super jeweled up women flipping out three throwing knives: Magnus wanted to put diamonds on them, but it would have thrown off the weight

An actual mob wife later to her mob boss husband: honey look, the girls and I can’t take much more of this. Just let Magnus bring his boy in with him

Mob husband: magnus talks about him like he’s crystallized honey. No way trophy wife like him can handle our convos

Mob wife the next event chugging Chardonnay and long islands

Alec: Magnus got me this new poison, apparently it can’t be tasted once it’s added to water and turned to ice.

Mob wife to waiter: another Long Island. On the rocks. Double rocks. No make it triple. (Yes this is in response to Alec mentioning deadly ice. She has Hope).

This has only been like, four meetings btw. Alec was trying So Hard™️ to blend in with mundanes.

Alec also hates Long Islands ice teas and Chardonnay. And Pinot noir. If you offer him an old fashion (he hates Lorenzo) he’ll pour it on your shoes.

He also fits in very well because he talks about how Magnus sometimes helps picks his clothes and takes him shopping. And how he makes breakfast. And is constantly picking up whatever Magnus tosses (a few spell books and always Alec’s work phone). Magnus normally orders drinks for him to try (he has more experience and knows Alec’s palette) and Alec is generally just very quiet for the most part because he 1) has no interest in talking with mundanes and is only doing this because he knows it’s important to Magnus and he didn’t like Magnus being offered entertainment (he trusts Magnus 100% it’s just irritates him). 2) is naturally quiet and likes to observe 3) it takes the women two times to notice he’s there and two times for them to beg for him to never come again 4) Alec has no understanding of mundane gender roles, mundane underworld roles, mundane life, crime life or etc so he doesn’t make sense and no one makes sense to him.

Magnus just loves Alec and likes him being involved in all aspects of his life and Magnus and Cat are both are giant trolls. They dish over brunch every month that these meetings happen. Magnus has surveillance spells so she and cat can watch Alec and mob wives talk. Alec knows that Magnus has spells.

They are all awful trolls of mundanes and it’s 100% amazing.

Alec when he’s ‘allowed’ in the ‘important’ meeting and he doesn’t give a single solitary fuck and just snuggles up to magnus and reads his book because he’s bored af.

Magnus: he won’t be pulled away from his book for anything less that a natural disaster, you mentioned there was a chemical explosion?

[dandelionh3art]

I think we are at a point where western governments, especially the American government can do whatever it wants to the people. I truly don't think there is even a need to lie or be strategic about it.

I had a profound moment last night, and I wanted to think on it overnight and today before I spoke about it because I wanted to be sure, and I am.

I had this thought when I was thinking of scandals online. I watched time and time again over my years how everyone involved in a scandal acted towards the people and one of two things always happens. If you are involved in a scandal and you address it, or worse, apologize, then you will lose.

If you even entertain it or talk about it or bring attention to it you are finished. These people always make it worse. Regardless of how many people are in the comments or make videos about you and the scandal or the uproar, if you don't ignore it, it wins and the mob comes harder.

However, I noticed that people involved in a scandal that ignore it, just don't even pay attention to it, it goes away. Everytime, it just vanishes. I don't care if you are caught having sex with a donut in a church, piss yourself on film, adultery, theft, corruption, lying etc. No matter how bad it is, if you just ignore it, don't talk about it then after a couple of weeks max, it's gone and no one even remembers or cares.

The reason is, people... their attention spans, so short, always overloaded with news, media and they get bored. Then I thought, this is what happens to us, in America and I'm sure in the UK and west in general.

I began to think of all the scandals, the horrors, the many, many things that have happened over the years and how no one even bats an eye, thinks about it or cares. All the government does is create a new, "thing," or scandal or war or shooting or crime etc and the news cycle changes.

In 2020, the election was stolen, I believe that, now an ancient memory, nothing was done or changed. In 2021 to 2022, we were actually locked in our homes, forced to wear masks. Now, no one even thinks about it, old news.

These are just small, very small things I can think of that should have been massive issues. Look at Assange, look at his life, ruined for exposing truths and now, no one gives a shit and it changed nothing.

People were angry with me because I didn't release footage I claimed I had, and I won't, I never, ever will. I thought about it, but then I remembered Assange, a man far richer, far more influential, far more legal resources and allies and he was ruined. No one helped him, no one cared.

They used his release to say, "Aha! Look, a US War crime!"

Sure, maybe the journalists became famous for releasing the footage, went viral for a few days and then boom, the news cycle changed, people moved on and meanwhile Assange in prison, tortured, ruined and no one gave a shit in any real measure.

So I thought, "Should I do it?," the answer is a resounding no, hell no. Look at Israel, look what they do daily, look at how they raped a man on camera, the entire world sees it and did it change support? No. Look how they murder, kill, genocide civilians openly, on camera, no hiding it. No one gives a shit.

I think people just don't care about anything anymore. We are so beat down and we adopted a, "Well, sure this is awful, but as long as it doesn't affect me or my life then beyond a few posts on social media, I don't really care."

Even now, you reading this, just do whatever you want, be as vulgar, nasty, just as awful as you can imagine. Record it, post it here and I promise by next week the world won't care or remember because we will be onto some new, "thing."

This is why I think, our governments can just do whatever they like, no one will stop them, no one will challenge it, we seem to be completely defeated. I don't know what the answer is, it's more just an observation to be honest. Just thinking out loud so to speak.

Do you all feel this way also?

[daculadaculadacula]

'either you liked the film or it wasn't for you' is literally a black and white statement (from a post i can pick out and @ but i am not trying to start a fight or whatever). i am allowed to love something and be critical of the media i consume. i like renfield a lot and have watched it multiple times, and honestly find a lot of it skippable, but i know what i want from it lmao and hint: it is not cops or drawn out fight scenes

i am not sure where statements like this come from or why u would be getting upset over mysterious people calling renfield copaganda. i havent personally seen this as much as i have seen people be critical of hero cop screentime.

at the end of the day the hero cop (you can call her chaotic neutral all you'd like, but i'm of the opinion that even this begs a closer look than what someone who's seen it once or twice tops would take away) still has the moral highground and serves as renfields larger inspo for becoming a better more self-actualizing person. renfield cites the support group at the end, but lbr, he is stated to not have a lot of free will(? free thinking ability or something similar) by the director and has his whole git gud arc really pick up speed after he encounters rebecca. she stops acting like a cop and starts acting like a person and tbqh, i am not entirely sure why she keeps her uniform and job (there's nothing about the rest of the cops or even just her job post drac chop) since she does state that she wants to take the rest of them down permanently. i think this might be something overlooked in terms of referring to renfield as copaganda, or maybe it's meant to be ridiculous, but i'm gonna go out on a limb and say cop discourse isn't at a place yet where even the majority can see it's ridiculous that rebecca is still in uniform fighting for her personal justice against drug lords and against "her own," which is the factor that makes me think the corrupt cop narrative is a bit less than half-hearted. at the same time, the narrative about group therapy is also this way. the characters are a little sillay. there's a lot to parse and a lot of interpreting that can be done. cops and narcissism are both serious issues, i think taking offense to anyone with gripes about either issue is a bit much. renfield 2023 doesn't need to be held up as a golden pinnacle of media in order for you yourself to still be a decent person and enjoy it.

rebecca's sister and father (both cops) are pitched as good people. they are probably morally the best people in the film. that the unnamed cops arent going around actively harming people but working with others who do harm people in this film make it seem as if this is something to be taken with a grain of salt, as with literally everything else about the film, when the reality is that usa cops do this as well as actively commit atrocities against people on the regular. functionally they serve their narrative purpose, but i'm within bounds to say they're still treated too gently (ie near neutral. if you aren't able to think the lobos are entertaining or funny you probably don't like the film to begin with, and the cops in this film have put themselves on their level), esp with no one except kyle having a name. nameless mobs don't make effective antags or even pseudo villains. i personally appreciate that the cops are shitty and take advantage of overtime while being part of the industry with the fattest budget in the us. it's still a blink and you miss it gag tho. maybe some people with cop and law oriented agendas would take issue with it. i can see how people with anti cop and law agendas could also take issue with it.

i just think people can be allowed to call it copaganda if they'd like. anyone invested enough knows there's nuance, and we don't need to be puritans labeling a film or people reacting negatively to it as not good or not having justifiable takes. 'like it or just fuck off and don't be critical over xyz,' isn't a realistic expectation. a lot of thoughtless opinions get posted online all the time. in the end this is about a horror comedy and not a groundbreaking discourse piece. i think the angle for cops as a senseless body (tbc not the heroes or 'good guys.' still don't like that!) in this film is fine even and a step in the right direction for slap-in inclusion in narratives. i don't think taking issue with the people still critical of cop portrayal is a great move tho.

[mitigatingacademics]

{10.07.2024 + 10.08.2024}

Fav coworker is at Disneyland.

She literally left on a plane after our last shift together.

To add insult to the left behind, the last night of my work week was spent with the coworker that allows for no personal productivity. 

...and he was on a roll, having just come off his rest days. 

Democrats control the weather and Helene was engineered to provide access to resources inside the mountains. 

Lasers from China are the reason for California wildfires. 

'Illegals' in California are 'voting' conservative because they've escaped the communism of Cuba. 

[He saw a FB reel from the Republican National Convention where someone made a big deal about 169 delegates being pledged to Trump from California. He took this to mean the most liberal state in the union is going conservative. A quick Google shows Kamala got 482 delegates from California, so...]

...and then, somehow, re: J6 -- it's entirely possible that the "mob" was 'peaceful,' it's a matter of interpretation', and Trump waiting hours to address the issue wasn't problematic, he shouldn't have addressed it at all, just let it play out. 

Me: So, just let them assassinate an entire joint session of Congress? 

Him: ... Where were the Capitol Police? 

The irony of wanting to wrap my hands around his neck...

Liz says there's no place for violence in our politics. 

Liz says there's no place for violence in our politics. 

Liz says there's no place for violence in our politics. 

Lord help me. 

He started in about how there was an 'election' in North Carolina that resulted in the people voting against mining in the mountains and how it's 'really convenient' that those people lost their homes a few months later. 

This, of everything, I found somewhat worth fact checking.

[I had not, at any point, indicated that there *would not* be fact checking. 😂]

I Googled 'North Carolina vote against mining.'

Coworker was *not* impressed by the first result: 

CBS: Hurricane Helene Conspiracy Theories About Lithium Mining, Weather Control Spread Widely 

Searching among those results for something 'unbiased:' 

PBS: Disinformation and Conspiracy Theories Cloud Helene Recovery Efforts in Hard-Hit Areas 

He came back with: "But who is donating to PBS?" ... VIEWERS LIKE YOU, SIR. 

Ultimately, maybe the 'election' he heard about was a 'poll.'

Alternatively, maybe all the evidence of that 'election' and its results have been scrubbed from the internet. They can do that, you know. 

He also said the $750 in immediate emergency funds to displaced individuals was insulting. When I explained that wasn't the extent of the aid being offered and asked what he would consider 'not insulting,' he said he didn't think the government should be giving any money at all. 

Churches should be helping the people, he said. Then he went off on a tangent about how FEMA has no right to attempt to gather, organize, and direct resources.  

Basically, whatever you do, it's going to be wrong. 

I tried to interject that the Republican Governor of North Carolina has said publicly, many times, when asked about Trump's claims that aid isn't forthcoming due to impacted areas being 'red,' that Biden was in touch from the beginning and said whatever was needed would be provided, they just needed to ask. 

Coworker: Why isn't he there?! 

Me: He's an 80 year old man. You want him to contribute physically? 

Coworker: He's the President! He should be there! 

Me: Are you familiar with the resources necessary to support a Presidential motorcade? 

Coworker: No. 

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Not that he would have pulled a Trump and tossed paper towels at hurricane victims, but Biden has actually been praised for having the insight to stay away from the impacted area for the time being. 

You can't reason with folks like this, though.   

Thankfully, I finished Issue 4 the previous night. (I miss you, fav! 😢) 

I found the second half much more entertaining - my mind engages more effectively when I disagree with what I'm reading. 

I also decided, given that I chose to pay $250 for the subscription [and 250 points towards purchasing Bar Prep materials that I won't need for like, 7 years, if ever, and am not likely to purchase from Quimbee, anyway], to see what Quimbee had to say about the relevant cases. 

[Much] later, I got my Covid and Flu vaccines...and the now traditional iced coffee reward. This time a Caramel Apple Iced Latte.

About an hour ago I received an e-mail informing me that my manager has submitted her Letter of Recommendation. 🙌🙌

I'm so relieved that, if I wasn't completely mentally spent, I might actually cry. 🤣

For now, I'm gonna crash soon - for probably about 12 hours (that's what happened last time and why we get our vaccines on our rest days) and hopefully wake up refreshed, inoculated and prepared to submit law school applications before vacation so that I can actually enjoy the trip! 🙌

[shurisneakers]

shut in [10]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, anxiety, ptsd, shooting, abuse

Word count: 2.8k

A/N: double digit chapter!!! like 3 parts to go everyoneeee woo!!

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!!

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

The nostalgia was strong. 

The last time you and Sam were sitting like this, you were deciding on what to make of the bread supply that was now dwindling. The soup had ran out maybe a day or two ago and you were left with just bread, peanut butter and jelly.

You two had to devise an escape plan. You’d been there long enough and now with Sam making his first public appearance as Mob’s Most Wanted, even if it was for a good cause, there was no doubt that people would be after you.

“What if we go back to Ransone and let the rest sort itself out along the way?”

You made a note of it on the paper but you weren’t very convinced with the idea, not with the realisations you had made along the way.

“Do we know any other hideouts?” you asked instead, tapping the pencil against the paper.

“None that you don’t already know.” He chewed on his lip thoughtfully. “What are your thoughts on caves? Think we can make a bed outta some leaves?”

You wrote down ‘Sam’s cave idea’, just to humour him. Stupid, but more plausible than other options.

“If we make a run for it, what are the chances we’ll survive?”

“With law enforcement, civilians and gang members looking for us, I’d give us about-” you said candidly, “-two months. Three max.”

It wasn’t like you had no experience running from the state, but it was never on this scale. 

“We’d have years if it was only law enforcement, but we had to go get the entire fuckin’ mafia involved,” he huffed in annoyance.

An idea occurred to you that made you pause, but you hated it.

“What if we split up?” you suggested halfheartedly. “It’ll take them more time to find the both of us, if they’re looking for us together.”

When he didn’t reply, you looked up at him from the sheet in front of you.

“We’re not splitting up,” he began steadily, just as you knew he would. “The same people who are after you are after me. We need to stick together.”

“I know. I’m not saying we can’t meet again after that, I’m saying that maybe it’ll be easier for us to hide.”

He couldn’t deny that it wasn't the worst idea, but something didn’t sit right with him. He didn’t want to do it.

“Okay, then how do we find each other after that? When? I don’t have your email; fuck that, I don’t even have your number.”

“We’ll schedule it, I guess,” you murmur, trying to work out the logistics. “Whoever gets there late has to buy ice cream. And I’m particular about the flavour I like.”

You tried to lighten up the mood but he wasn’t having it, as much as he appreciated it.

“I don’t care if it’s more difficult,” he said slowly. “But I’d like us to stick together. Not until we’re out of this mess. Then if you want to never see my face again, which you shouldn’t because it’s beautiful, we’ll go our different ways.”

He was adamant about it, and you knew he’d argue and poke holes into the plan until it didn’t make sense anymore. You weren’t going to argue.

“Okay,” you accepted. “We stick together.”

A smile spread across his face which equated to one of triumph. “You got any other ideas?” 

“We stay right here and fight off whoever comes.”

It was dumb. This place wasn’t yours, and staying here would be a death wish. That didn’t stop you from saying it since neither of you were holding back on implausible ideas.

“This is our house now,” Sam added with determination, playing along.

“Damn right,” you affirmed, cracking a smile at him.

Bringing your attention back, you stared at the list. There is one option you wanted to explore but you weren’t sure if you could because you didn’t have the resources. But he may.

“You got any friends whose help we could use?” you asked cautiously, unsure of how this would play out. 

He continued chewing on his lip for a second like he was analysing all options, before nodding. 

“I got a friend. Well, my only friend,” he corrects himself. “His name’s Riley.”

“He got a place we can stay, this Riley?”

“He does. But I don’t want to involve him. He’s-” he paused, trying to find the right words to frame what he’s thinking “-he’s been through a lot.”

“We’ll leave him alone then,” you assured, realising that it must be a touchy topic for him.

Sam didn’t move on, though. 

“I’m all ears if you want to talk,” you offered. 

He pressed his lips together, giving you a tight smile. He looked like he wanted to say more but was holding back. You reciprocated, hoping it would give him some reassurance, noting how he exhaled softly.

“When I joined the cartel, I didn’t really have anyone to talk to since everyone was much older than I was. Riley was the first friend I made. He was a mouthy li’l one.” Sam smiled wistfully and you found yourself smiling with him. “He talked so much shit and he had the spunk to back it up but he never really got that far because no one wanted to test their luck with him.”

“We spent whatever free time we had together. He didn’t have a family so he and I-” he trailed off but you knew what he was getting at. “Ransone found out. Didn’t like anyone in his stupid squad becoming all buddies because if we turned against him, he knew he’d lose.”

Shared experience. You didn’t have any friends in the organization either; they were always separated from you willingly or by force. You wondered if that’s why you had taken such a liking towards Sam, knowing fully well that it was the first time in years you were able to be friends with someone without having to worry.

“He started pittin’ us against one another. Combat training, preferential treatment, just plain out sabotage. Riley’s the reason my back’s all kinds of fucked up.” He gave a short laugh. “Tried everything he could to make sure we’d stay away or even kill each other if it came to that.”

“But you didn’t.”

“But we didn’t,” he confirmed. “Ransone fuckin’ hated it, so one day, he decided that he’s going to finish it once and for all. Sent us on a fake mission so that we’d be alone together, then told us that only one of us could come back. One of us had to die or else both of us would. Some sick fuckin’ form of entertainment.”

It was exactly something that Ransone would do. Dramatic, vile and utterly despicable, just for his own joy,

Your eyebrows knit together when his eyes glazed over. 

“Riley, he- he didn’t even let me have at the gun. Just straight up chose for the both of us that he was going to be the one who died. He was so tired, of everythin’.” The muscles in your jaw tightened at where this was going. “He didn’t do it though. We figured out another way.”

You didn’t realise how tensed you were until you forced yourself to relax.

“Faked his death.” He shrugged. “It was the only way. Let Ransone believe he bled out and that I buried him behind the warehouse he sent us to. Shot him in the leg to make it look convincing. He’s still got a limp.”

“He made a run for it. Found himself a place in New Orleans, changed his identity, basically made turned into a whole new person. Ransone bought it for a while because I’d make it a point to visit the grave, leave some flowers and shit. Told him that if he messed with it that I’d put a bullet in his head and I was angry enough for him to see that I wasn’t kidding. I knew he’d figure it out eventually but I was hoping I’d get rid of him by then.”

“He lived in New Orleans for years. Never had a problem until recently.”

Sam paused for a second, but it gave you the time to pull up an old conversation you had with him.

“He’s the one Ransone threatened you with,” you connected the dots. “He’s the one he found.”

“Said he’d kill him if I didn’t take out Pierce for him,” his words were bitter, confirming what you said. “Sent me a picture of him in front of his house to prove it.”

“Fuckin’ hell,” you breathed, leaning back. Sam’s situation was more dangerous than you initially thought. Having Riley in the picture just made it more difficult to help Sam get out of the organization, especially since he was now leverage material.

“You asked me once what the scariest thing I had done was.” You didn’t get immediately what he was talking about until you remember the questions you had asked to get to know him better. “It was that. Getting him out of this life and trying not to get caught in the process.”

You didn’t know what to say.

“He’s the only family I got left.” The way his voice dropped made him sound so tired. “He’s already on their radar. If they find out I’m staying with him or that he’s helping in any way, they’ll kill him.”

You didn’t say anything, not like you had anything constructive to offer at that moment.

“That got dark real quick,” he remarked, the corners of his lips quirking upward.

Clearly he didn’t have anyone to talk to about this. To explain the entire thing from the beginning must have drained him completely.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that,” you said quietly.

He paused for a second, looking like he was thinking to himself.

“Me too.”

______

The sky’s beautiful, you decide.

You could stare at the clouds for hours.

Which is what the both of you have been doing.

“If you fucking say it’s anything other than a dog, I’ll push you off the roof myself.”

“It’s clearly a penguin, Samuel.”

“I hate you.”

The cement was cool against your skin even though there was a blanket serving as a mediator between you and it. The sun nipped at your skin and your back was aching from staying in the same place for a prolonged period.

Sam tended to think better when he was outside, unconstrained by harsh white walls and artificial light. So you grabbed a spare blanket, a bottle of water and the ladder to haul the both of you to the roof. It was filthy, as you expected but you managed to tidy a part of it to the best of your ability before laying the blanket down.

“I know why you brought me up here, Y/N,” he piped up.

You just knew that when you needed some space, he often implored you to go outside. You figured the best way to help him was to do the same, not knowing what else you could have to give.

“Just wanted to let you know that I appreciate it,” he added.

Okay good. It helped.

“That’s a tree.” You pointed upwards, avoiding his gaze.

“You get three more seconds to change that answer to a table.”

“That looks nothing like a table. You’re delusional.”

He laughed, not offering a counter argument.

The outside did him good. He was calmer than when you first came here a few hours ago. He didn’t let his spite towards Ransone show very often, especially at this volume. Talking about Riley only reaffirmed how much he despised the man.

“We need to get out of here eventually, you know?” you mused.

You don’t want to. You don’t want to admit that saying it out loud made it worse.

“We do,” he sounded sure and you wondered if he ever felt bad about it too, “but we need a proper plan.”

The clouds shifted. It looked like a kid on a bike; not that you’d ever tell him. He would never agree.

“We need help,” you stated.

“We can’t.” You knew he’d say that.

“You know we do, Sam.”

“There’s no one out there we can trust.”

You liked that he used ‘we’. The only other times you had been referred to as ‘we’ had been for things so sinister, so violent.

His elbow was touching yours lightly. You wanted to move closer, press against him.

“There’s one person who might be able to.”

He turned to look at you questioningly. You did the same.

You waited till he figured it out on his own. His face shifted the minute it clicked in his head.

“No way.” He turned away, almost laughing out of bewilderment.

“It’s our only option.”

“Then we’ll find another one,” he began to sound more insistent, realising you were being serious. It was a crazy idea, you’d give him that, but it’s the only one you had that had a sure shot of working.

“We’ve tried. You’ve tried. There’s only one way,” you knew that getting annoyed wouldn’t get through to him and you also understood his hesitations. “He’ll help.”

“We don’t know that. It’s too fuckin’ dangerous.” He couldn’t afford that; not this late in the game.

“I know it. Lis- Sam. Look at me,” you commanded gently, and he obeyed reluctantly. “I understand that this is absolutely batshit wild, but I promised I’d help you. This is the only way I can think of. But I need you to trust me.”

He looked unsettled.

He didn’t have anything to go on. Only your word and his faith in you. He could say no and he knew you’d spend countless hours pouring over multiple options just to find another way. He could say no and you’d take it in stride and he wouldn’t have to worry about it. It wasn’t about trusting you, it was about not trusting the others.

But he could also say yes and let you take control, trust your instincts. You had never let him down before and he knew you wouldn’t now. He could say yes and help you work on one solid plan that had equal chances of failing as it did being a success, but it was something that you could be sure of.

“I’ll tell you this though, Sam. You always have a choice.”

He felt your fingers trace at his face patiently. He scooted closer, letting your bodies press gently against each other.

“Okay,” he whispered. “I trust you.”

He didn’t know if he made the right choice or not, but the smile that appeared on your face made him think that maybe he did.

God, he was done for.

___

“You ready?” you asked him.

“No, but what the hell; let’s do it.”

You let it ring right to the very end.

“Hello.” It seemed gratuitous at this point because you knew the conversation wouldn’t proceed with that.

“Code?”

“1993.”

“Y/N. Hello,” his voice came back loud and clear.

“Hey.” You snuck a glance at Sam. He was completely stiff.

“How are you?”

“I’ve been… good,” you admitted.

“Oh?” he sounded amused. “That’s a change.”

“Yeah.” You shifted on your feet awkwardly. “Listen, I need help.”

“Help with?”

“We need to get out of here. We can’t do it without you. I mean we can, but it’d be better if you lent a hand.”

“When you say ‘we’, you’re referring to…”

“Me.” Sam stepped forward towards the phone. You shifted it so it was between you.

“Oh, hello,” he sounded surprised, and he had good reason to be. “You know about-”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Y/N, you trust him?”

“Yeah,” you looked up at Sam, “I do.”

“Alright. If shit goes wrong, you’re both fucked. I’m not taking any responsibility.”

“We get that,” you sighed. “Can you help or not?”

There was a momentary silence on the other end as he thought.

“Tell me what you had in mind.”

“We got a hit.”

They turned away from their conversation with the person walking beside them at the interruption.

“This better be important.” They gestured to their companion who looked annoyed at being interrupted. He was too dangerous to have on anyone’s bad side but the agent didn’t care. This was crucial.

“Someone saw him. Wilson.” He was breathless from the flight of stairs he had run to come upstairs.

“Where?” They could hardly believe their ears, restraining to contain the excitement that was threatening to rise.

“A town, miles away from Pierce’s place. Said he roamed around looking for a store, bought some food and then left.” His eyes shone. “We think we might know where they are. A rough sketch at least. Couldn’t follow him too far because he kept checking.”

“Finally,” their face gleamed, completely discarding the guest they had and the confusion on his face. “Some good fucking news.”

“Do you want us to put a hit out on them?” The relief the agent felt was almost overwhelming. His partner may have died but it didn’t look like he was going to.

“No,” they said crisply, certainly. “This one’s on me.”

Next part

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

The Mask 1994

*I finally wrote the whole thing. I finally watched the movie that involved something I’ve been talking about A LOT. I think this took about an hour since I finished the movie. Forgot to mention Charlie.*

I wanna make this clear, even before I watched movie or ever writing this. I am legitimately a stupid and lazy person. Because my mom told me about this, and last week, my dad rented A Quiet Place Part 2. When I was trying to go to sleep but was looking up movies...I literally forgot my tv can do that too...and that I can rent or buy a movie...I rented the movie this morning, and deleted it afterwards...after all that talk...I could’ve done that...wow. I should do that more considering some movies I wanna see or like. Not too much though. My tv has DirecTV. Just a heads up.

But a few or couple of minutes ago, I finally watched The Mask film from 1994. This post is gonna be filled with spoilers and it’s gonna get long. Gonna be kind of a review. My overall thoughts on it. This was my first reaction to the whole movie.

I’d just wanna talk about this too. I like comic books, I like comic book movies. Mainly my favorites are ones like all of Zack Snyder’s DCEU movies, Spider-Man 1 & 2, The Suicide Squad 2021, Wonder Woman 2017, The Dark Knight(Despite whatever issues I have with it), and Joker 2019. Yeah, those are mainly DC films and two Marvel related ones. I don’t even mind Spider-Man 3 as well. I also forgot Dredd 2012 is another one of my favorites. Along with Batman 1989.

I was hoping The Mask could make that list of favorites. Because I read the comics first. I don’t think I ever watch the movie fully as a kid MAYBE. I’m a fan of the comics, I know this movie was gonna be a lighter take on the series. 

In a nutshell...I liked it. It’s possible it will be on that list of favorite CBM’s...but I want to talk about it. I’ll also admit I think what got me interested in seeing this film and this series was me liking Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura...now, let’s get to the point.

Yeah, I liked it. I thought the movie was genuinely entertaining. Despite seeing some clips before. But also Ryan Hollinger’s video about it. Revealing the ending, the twist, and other stuff. But I didn’t wanna watch more more that I haven’t seen yet.

I will be honest, it still made me laugh. Even some scenes I already have seen. I will admit, the Cuban Pete scene is actually one of my favorites. XD But what also surprised me is that at times, despite being a funny film. It can genuinely be touching in a way. And I am mainly talking about the developing relationship between Stanley and Tina.

I just wanna talk about the characters right now. I’ll just admit unless I haven’t already. I’m a Jim Carrey fan. Mainly because of his more goofier roles. Particularly his roles from the Ace Ventura movies, Liar Liar, and especially Sonic The Hedgehog. I also will admit this, Jim Carry nails playing Big Head or who they call...The Mask in this movie...I’ll nitpick about that later.

But yeah, Jim’s entertaining as Big Head in this film. He does make me laugh. But I think another role he does well despite there are some sillier moments, which is fine. I feel like in a way, Stanley Ipkiss in this version, is maybe one of his more normal roles. But I know I’m wrong considering whatever other roles he’s in. He portrays a likable good guy who’s sadly mainly pushed around. Which is quite the difference from the comics, except being pushed around. But that’s another topic. Yet for this story, even if maybe Stanley’s name could be changed. But him being a genuinely kind guy works for this story.

Even before I saw the movie, learning more about this version about the character. I can relate to Stanley in some ways honestly. Which is something that I like. He basically shines as a protagonist. 

He portrays both sides well. Despite at times...honestly, this Stanley is wacky. I shouldn’t be judging. Jim does a good stuff with what he played, and he’s the highlight of this movie. He also delivers possibly my favorite Jim Carrey line of all time now. Sorry if I get this wrong. I was looking for a clip of it to help me.

“Daddy’s gonna go kick some ass”. A literal line from Jim Carrey in this movie and I love it. He even brings a pistol with him.

I also wanna admit Peter Greene as Dorian is pretty good as a villain. The dude can be threatening and he works with what he is given. And he’s effective as an antagonist. I just wanna admit that I swear, one of these guys. One of them could’ve Walter in a way and I just think that could’ve been possible. But I’m not sure. Just one of Dorian’s henchmen looked like a huge guy. It just got me thinking about Walter from the comics.

Will admit, I think Kellaway is fine. And I just found out Christopher Reeve was one of the actors considered for the role...damn. But again, Kellaway was fine. He’s more like a supporting character and again, this is like an origin story. I do feel bothered Lionel Ray wasn’t added but replaced with this Doyle character. I will admit that Doyle is silly, which is the point of his character. I guess the writers and director didn’t want two sensible cops or something. I like Kellaway alright, but I’ll always dig Lionel too.

I really wanted to get this point. I thought Cameron Diaz was good as Tina Carlyle and Amy Yasbeck as Peggy Brandt. I will admit, I do strangely like the subversion with Peggy in a way with it’s twist. I get the idea if that it was going for that theme of, “We all wear mask” and Peggy turning Stanley into the mob said a lot about her character. While Tina was genuinely the one that truly supported Stanley.

I think was surprised me more was the fact despite Peggy turned in Stanley for selfish purposes such as paying for her condo. Yet what surprised me more was she was actually concerned for Stanley being killed, and didn’t want him hurt...which explains even more why she stuck around in the cartoon. And honestly, it makes me glad the director took out that deleted scene of her getting killed. So she wasn’t that heartless.

Also...it made me think that...my ideas and changes towards her character...maybe hold some weight.

I’ll just put this out there too. Milo is great, one of my favorite fictional dogs maybe. Good dog.

Trying to think what else, the score was fine. But the licensed music was good or something. Overall, I think my negatives could be just...nitpicks. Such as the Big Head part I wanted to talk about. Listen, I understand this is a different version. I just feel it’s weird to call him, “The Mask” instead of Big Head. I know other characters mask in their name or something. But...some reasons, the name Big Head is there. I guess it’s because of the title or something.

Honestly, I think my negatives are more that it feels short. And maybe Stanley becoming Big Head a bit too early. I sound kind of stupid, I know. But this was the 90′s and whatever else. This was a different take on the comics. But I did genuinely like it. Maybe I’m just a bit attached to those comics. Despite knowing the changes they did.

But I will admit, considering the development for this film. And learning that it was meant to be a horror film. But the director Charles Russell found the violence in the source material to be off putting. So he made it less grim, and more fun. I’ve also read somewhere that trying to make comedy with that violence was difficult.

Back to the point, to be honest. I feel like for that time and age. A more light Mask film was maybe the best choice to go. And we wouldn’t have Jim Carrey in it. I do also wanna say, I feel like The Mask series, you can do a lot of it. You can have something dark with it, or maybe more lighter.

There are still some of those darker elements. Mainly considering the moments with the gangsters and all that. But I will admit, learning that Charles mostly directed horror films. I think it’s impressive he made a more family friendly film and it worked. 

I liked it, despite my love for the comics. I thought when writing this, maybe some folks reading this may think I sound like fans who read the comics who first experienced this movie. But the film isn’t bad, it’s just a different take and a pretty nice one at that.

And to be honest, as much as I would of loved to see an actual sequel. And not that bad film known as Son Of The Mask. I understand why Jim Carrey dropped out, and I would’ve loved to see Peggy back because the director planned to bring her back reformed. But I feel like this film works as a one off in a way. And there’s also the cartoon, which works fine as a sequel despite some differences. Yet...I’ll admit, I would’ve loved The Mask 2 if we got Jim Carrey as Stanley again fighting against maybe someone like Walter.

The Mask 1994 is a good film. Despite changes from the source material, but the changes for this vision work. It’s cool this film has a cult following, and the fact I have used elements and story beats from it for The Mask Rebirth stuff I’ve been talking about. Even before watched this whole movie.

It’s a genuine fun flick. But I’m hoping down the line, if Warner Bros stops being fucking stupid with how they run things. Maybe we’ll get a reboot or how about an animated film that seems more true to the source material. 

I know The Mask/Big Head doesn’t have a big legacy such as the likes of Superman, Batman, and Spider-Man. But I do think this series could be reimagined and expanded upon. Using elements not only from the original comics, but even the movie and cartoon. 

And...despite it was because of Ace Ventura...I would like to thank @kaijuguy19 for being such a supportive dude, and talking about this franchise with me. Including wanting to talk about this movie long ago when I haven’t seen it. But I want to say...no...he’s one of the big reasons why I’m a fan. Because he’s one of the only guys I know who’s a fan. It started with Ace Ventura, but it was because of talking with Kaijuguy that I guess things started to escalate. So thanks man for talking about this stuff with me.

Also, Charlie was silly and he was fine as a character. I forgot about that dude despite wanting to talk about him. Gonna tag him too in case. Charlie schumaker

[ohfiendangelical]

the hollywood elite, a non-exhaustive list of entertainment industry npcs by shelby bree. 

use 'em, reference 'em, tell me all about it! the following are a collection of industry npcs i'm comfortable with anyone featuring in their own worldbuilding at will.

annalise duvoir  /     a french filmmaker/director with a fascination with fairy tales and the classic gothic. creates rich, sensual films with lush imagery, often period pieces with elements of horror and surreal fantasy. known for an eternally-in-progress series of films known as 'the folklore sequence', which are faithfully horror-tinged retellings of classic fairy tales and folktales.

zane crestridge  /     a record producer and ceo of monstrosity records, a cutting-edge label for innovative, creative musicians of all genres. a superstar of independent, diy, punk sentiment, supportive and nurturing of artistic freedom, but also willing to push artists for creative (and lucrative) breakthroughs. 

bruno kaneko  /     a multimedia artist-turned-filmmaker whose works explore countercultures of all types and the lgbt+ experience. a modern new-wave pioneer with bold, daring, and sometimes polarizing/shocking vision. known for being a pleasure to work with despite his sometimes very strange artistic process.

mckenna lance  /     a haute-couture fashion designer with a fanciful, artistic eye. a perfectionist whose reputation always precedes her and a well-known work motto of ‘no compromises.’ when not creating designs for the runway or exclusives for events, she will occasionally lend her talent to films, music videos, and magazine editorials, but only ones she handpicks - and being deemed worthy is a compliment of the highest stature. 

a.j. mack  /       an eccentric musician and producer with a good reputation on the surface, but a scumbag beneath. known as “difficult to work with, but worth it,” though the people who collaborate with him find out that the success and acclaim is not, in fact, worth the trauma. uses threats of mob and gang connections to keep victims silent.

perry jade  /     a filmmaker and writer who specializes in television with connections to both hbo and netflix. known for jumping genres at will and doing whatever he wants, with everything he touches turning to gold, even strange, unpromising premises. working with him practically guarantees critical acclaim; he is much sought-after.

zoe orleans  /     a genre-bending musician, producer, and transgender activist who works in independent pop/electronic music. beloved by internet culture fanatics and art obsessives for the arty and obscure references in her work, her output is love-it-or-hate-it but the artistry cannot be denied. (think of a figure similar to grimes, but without the technofascism and an aesthetic that constantly varies from album to album as opposed to being scifi-based.)

miranda jones  /     a showrunner and occasional filmmaker who deals in b-list television for young adults, teens, and your cousin or mom with bad taste, often for the cw or netflix. reliant on the rabid fans that pop up around her shows, but highly resentful of these fanbases. cancelled for queerbaiting on her shows twice a week. highly successful despite the trashy quality of her work. tumblr loves to hate her and hates to love her.

not quite blacklisted! the following are industry npcs i am open to exploring with or maybe even lending to others, but require special permissions and plotting. 

angelo amerigo  /     a highly secretive, artful filmmaker and producer whose cult of personality is just as strong as his horror-based work. creator and owner of morbidmasque pictures, a production/distribution company created to put out his works (and the works of others he finds promising) with minimal industry interference. strongly dedicated to his art and willing to do anything for it, even bending and breaking the laws of ethics and morality if he sees fit. 

the libertines, aka les excentriques  /     a collective of three los angeles counterculture diy artists: dorian 'puck', faye 'nyx', and dominic 'manticore.' well known on the hollywood scene for their unique, occult-influenced parties, they use their connections and acclaim to nurture their art. dorian is a multimedia artist, ranging from painting to photography to independent filmmaking; dominic is a poet and a creative stylist; faye is a model, set designer, and writer (often for pagan counterculture magazines).

[ruanbaijie]

The whole thing with ZZH really hurts. I guess it turns out the “nazi salute” was actually a movie thing not an actual salute. And in the photo at the shrine it doesn’t really seem like he knows where he’s at. Doesn’t excuse it but this seems like such an extreme overreaction (at least to a westerners perspective; however idk if most in China would definitely know the shrine if they saw it - like I have no idea). I guess I’m trying to figure out, is what he did really so bad? Is it bad I still hope things turn around for him (I know they probably won’t but maybe the boycott will be lifted and he’ll be forgiven?) It just hurts to see someone rise so quickly and then fall so hard over a mistake. I guess his fans are still supportive but they can’t do much with all his social media taken down. I know you’re Chinese diaspora but living in Asia so I had thought to ask you… please feel free to ignore this because it is such an uncomfortable topic and you’ve already done so much giving a rundown of what happened.

oh yeah I did see that twitter thread on the gesture. maybe he didn't know that the shrine in the background of the selfie he was taking was yasukuni? maybe he just really thought the flowers were nice? I've never been there myself so I wouldn't know if the vicinity of the shrine has any signs saying its name (logically speaking, it... should???). maybe he really was ignorant about it back then and maybe he really was taking photos and posting them without actually thinking, but the logical part of me is finding it hard to believe he didn't know where he was. it's such a known (famous/ infamous depending on whom you ask) shrine especially in this part of the world, could he, as someone who had been exposed to mainland chinese education and learned about its history, really have been in the vicinity of such an infamous (to the chinese) shrine while travelling (aren't maps a thing?) and not known about it?

if you're looking at this from the standpoint of wwii and history, I wouldn't call it an overreaction. not only did the japanese army commit war crimes (emotional/ moral aspect), the japanese state has also yet to apologise and compensate for what they had done, and even if apologies had been issued by individuals in the past, they differed in terms of degree and formality, depending on the japanese word used to issue said apology (political aspect). so what he did, posing with a V-sign and a smile in front of the shrine, naturally didn't sit well with many in mainland china. I wouldn't say it's a like for like comparison with someone posing with a V-sign and smiling at the holocaust memorial, but it highlights how inappropriate it is (whatever the intention), all the more so because the chinese-japanese case has the added political aspect not just from the japanese side but also from how the chinese state has framed its wwii narrative (sociopolitical aspect) - but this is a whole other topic altogether I won't go into this and I won't place any judgement on it.

what I do think is an overreaction is how he got erased and removed so rapidly. he barely had enough time to explain himself, anger and outrage consumed rational thought, and consequences got meted out even before judgement - judgement that also considered the other forces at play - could be properly undertaken.

I feel that (and it’s probably obvious by now in my other replies) yes, what he did was bad. but I’m equally perturbed by the maliciousness behind this targeted attack and by how swiftly mob justice was carried out. whatever happened to innocence until proven guilty and punishment fitting the crime?

if he was really ignorant and an idiot (and not a japanophile political traitor as many seem to be accusing him of being), I do hope things turn around for him too, or at least that he gets a proper chance to explain himself besides that apology he had written under pressure from all the criticism, even if he is never able to continue his entertainment career in mainland china again. and you’re right, it does hurt to see that happening, especially since we are all human and make dumb mistakes. if there is one reason I hope for him to come back though, it’s that to prove that he wouldn’t fall victim to the maliciousness of the anti-fans in c-ent (I think there were a couple of posts here on tumblr about the malicious media). but as I remember mentioning elsewhere, it’s a long shot because it has dragged in such a heavy, historical, and political topic that has got to do with chinese pride and psyche.

tbh I think my opinion on this was shaped more by what I had studied and written in uni, and not so much my identity as a member of the chinese diaspora in a chinese-majority country in asia. my identity and background are probably why I’m familiar with and understand the seriousness of the issue (of wwii war crimes and historical baggage), but what I learned and wrote for in uni also taught that history is what we write it to be and isn’t as objective as it sounds. for instance, it’s impossible not to talk about nationalism and politics when wwii memories get involved here because how we remember it today depends on how the state (when I say state here, I mean the central government and not a geographical state) has shaped these narratives in order to achieve certain goals. it’s not a bad thing and every state does it differently (singapore, in comparison to china at least, really downplays it),

asdfsdlkds sorry for rambling tho I got kinda carried away. but as always, I’m only one person in a community that consists of millions and that is no way a monolith. this is just my opinion and there are definitely (even solely on this site) members of the chinese diaspora who have extremely differing opinions from mine! nevertheless, I do appreciate it when those who aren’t part of the chinese diaspora and/ or those who aren’t aware of the significance of the place asking about it instead of glossing over with “it’s just a shrine”

[lady-star-strings]

About Dream’s Tweets...

To begin with, I’m demisexual and have been part of the community for years - I think I have pretty good credence to speak on this matter. I try not to throw my two cents into situations like this because I can’t stand the ignorant responses of the internet anymore at my age - DeviantArt Dark Ages vet right here - but sometimes I just have to. Whether you agree or not, I could honestly care less, but I would appreciate it if you read everything and gave it some thought before responding, be it positive or negative. With that said, let’s dive in...

At this point, if people are taking the shipping/fanservice jokes and banter between the Dream Team and other creators surrounding them seriously, I don't know what to tell them or really even say, honestly. They've all stated they're not looking to start relationships with each other - multiple times and on-stream/Twitter, might I add, because people keep donating and asking/demanding an answer to both that and about their sexualities - and that it's just messing around with friends. (If we want to talk about making people uncomfortable and being offensive in that regard, don’t you worry because I've got opinions on that too.) Bottom line is, you can't get mad at them for the fan-service now when you supported it before, especially when nothing has changed and they’ve been transparent about how everything actually is.

I understand that some may feel it’s an insensitive and inappropriate thing to do in some regards, and that's perfectly valid, but please don't go mobbing through the town with pitchforks over literal jokes between friends. Keep in mind, they’ve made it clear that’s all it was before people starting jumping down their throats, and still there are groups using their sexuality to attack them over it because "YoU'rE nOt MlM sO yOu CaN't MaKe ThOsE jOkEs, YoU'rE hOmOpHoBiC!!!!!" They're even openly attacking lesbians and bisexuals - whether they agree with them or not - because they're not gay and that somehow renders their words “invalid.” You can't accuse them of being ignorant for messing around as friends because it entertains the fans, and then turn around to attack literally the entire rest of the community for offering their opinions because they aren't valid enough for you in the argument to count - that makes you ignorant. You also can’t claim to be of the opinion that everyone’s sexuality is their own business, but then demand for them not to be ambiguous about it when it pleases you. Honestly, even thinking about people doing that is so incredibly hypocritical that it gives me whiplash.

I completely understand not everyone is a fan of this behavior, but to accuse them of queerbaiting, being homophobic and faking allyship over it all right now is just ridiculous and borderline disgusting to me. They've made it clear they're not romantically interested in one another countless times and that it's just fun between friends because they're super close - they aren't playing the "Am I, or am I not?" game with anyone for gain so no, they're not queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is when it’s not explicitly said at any point whether someone is or isn’t LGBTQIA+ so they can play both the community and conservative side by putting them in ambiguous situations that can lean one way or the other for gain, whether it be monetary or otherwise. Not to mention, if they were really as “homophobic” and “falsely allied” as everyone thinks, why would other LGBTQIA+ creators such as Antfrost, Eret, Scott Major, etc. not only support them, but also consider them friends? Again, I get the offense and hurt people might have taken from this behavior, but your opinions and feelings are ultimately not universal so while they are all valid, that doesn't make them right and the final say on the matter. I don’t mean this to say you’re wrong or inferior in the argument, just that you can’t demand others to see your point of view and abide by it without granting them the same respect. The road goes both ways kiddos, I’m sorry. 

Side note, there's no one to blame but the fans themselves for the jokes and whatnot to have continued on this long because they not only supported it, but also actively encouraged it. It’s been taken so seriously that Dream has outright stated on a stream - and now on Twitter - that he and George aren't together and more than likely never will be because they're honest to goodness just really good friends screwing around. Now if you think you're uncomfortable as part of the community, how do you think they feel being accused every five minutes of being against it because they won’t openly state their sexuality? Not to mention, they can't ever talk about actual relationships or joke about other ships because people will literally send death threats to whoever the other party is because they're "rUiNiNg ThE sHiP" at this point - need I remind you of the Septiplier fiasco? It’s alright if it’s a persona or a personality, but for the love of all things holy, please stop treating people like Barbie dolls that you’re trying to make kiss. They gave us the go-ahead to ship them because it makes us happy and allows us to be creative with the concept - don’t ruin it by trying to force them to play the parts you’ve constructed in your head and then get pissy because they won’t.

Also, it is unbelievably messed up for you to donate money to ask their sexuality and/or for them to tell each other that they love them - which then basically makes it a demand because if they ignore it they get blasted for not responding and “taking their money.” For example, Dream will say he loves any of his friends without issue because he does - just not in the way everyone is assuming or wants - and that's just the type of person he is, but George doesn't like to express it that way and that's okay. He shows his love in other ways that we don't always need to know about or see to make it real, just as it is with anyone else in the world. I don’t know how so many people miss it, but when he gets a donation to tell Dream - or anyone for that matter - he loves him on stream, you can easily tell how uncomfortable it makes him - and yes Dream presses/teases him about it sometimes, but he still drops it and doesn't flame him for it for eternity. Those that donate and chat, on the other hand, will not let it go when he doesn’t say it and continue to pour donations in begging him to say it when he’s already made it clear he won’t. You honestly shouldn't be bribing them to say or do anything through donation because that's beyond messed up and manipulative, especially where these matters are concerned.

And even if they weren't straight - which used to be the case and may have changed by this time, we can’t determine such things nor should we try to - or were in a relationship with each other, it isn't any of your goddamn business to know - no way, no how. What they do offline and out of the public eye isn't anyone's business but their own and people need to respect that, not try to force it out of them or play detective to dox that information for the attention. I mean, if you want a good reason as to why Dream hasn't done a face reveal yet, this is absolutely number one on the list because there will be little to no form of privacy for him after he does and he isn't ready to lose that just yet. I certainly can’t blame him for that considering all that’s been happening to him and his friends as of late, and neither can multiple other creators who hold the same beliefs and fears - ie. CorpseHusband, H20Delirious, Ohmwrecker. No one should have to tip-toe on eggshells in their personal life because fans online don't understand boundaries, that's just cruel and unfair after providing the content and comfort that they do without asking anything but support in return.

At the end of the day, I truly just don't understand how people can join in and support the jokes that they've made clear are purely just messing around, but then turn around and crucify them for the exact same thing later down the road. How can you practically harass them about their sexuality and relationship status through providing monetary means, then go on a witch hunt because they’ve decided to be more private with that information in the present? You can't play both sides and then expect to somehow be right or justified in the situation whichever way the tide turns because, at that point, the only wrong one is you. I completely agree that they need to watch their step with what they say and do sometimes - just as everyone with a strong platform does - but only more so now because people will create a problem the second they do anything that could spin into them being horrible people with too much power.

They’re all still incredibly fresh and new to the realm of social media popularity all things considered, and they reached said popularity startlingly fast so it can’t be easy to adjust to all the attention on everything you say and do. With that said, they’re doing remarkably well so far and I have faith that they’re going to continue to learn and grow in this arena given the time. They might mess up and make mistakes - already have, in fact - but that’s part of the gig and you can’t always please or satisfy everyone, so the best you can do is acknowledge your faults and move forward. You can’t demand someone’s head on a pike when they’ve made an effort to right things and it wasn’t good enough for everyone, it’s just not a fair standard to hold anyone to. In that same vein, you also can’t demand whatever you want out of them with the excuse that they owe it to you as a fan - you’re not a fan in any way, shape or form when you play that card, and you need to either shape up or ship out if you're doing that.

If you don't support it and/or don't like it, just don't follow or watch them anymore, it’s truly as simple as that. You can't continue to watch and support them as a “fan” while also touting how ignorant and horrible they are as detractors, that's just not how it works - pick one or the other and stop attacking them and those that don’t agree with you. They’re only on year one of their careers and the amount of people trying to “cancel” and tear them down over things that really aren't issues already is ridiculous, you aren't the righteous keyboard warriors you think you are and it's things like this that are ruining the internet for everyone, not just you.

That’s all I have to say on the matter and will continue to say going forward - sorry if you came here looking for my usual nonsense, but I really felt this needed to be said and addressed. I usually try not to do these sort of rants, however, this is a serious matter and a discussion that we as a community have been needing to have for a while, so now’s as good a time as any.

So, with my peace being given and my two cents thoroughly tossed, why don’t we focus on the bigger issues with YouTube such as their blatant ignorance of pedophilia and copyright abuse? Those seem like a much bigger problems to address at this point in time since that effects creators and fans as a whole - both in the present and the future - don’t you think?

[silyabeeodess]

Going to take a moment to brag about a Webtoon comic that I’ve been reading lately called “The Remarried Empress.”  Honestly, drama isn’t one of my favorite genres, but this story does so many nice things that make it an enjoyable read through-and-through. 

First off is the name alone and opening chapter, which gives you the major spoiler that Empress Navier remarries immediately after her husband, Emperor Sovieshu, divorces her for his mistress, Rashta. I feel beginning the story in this way is pivotal to how successful it is, because we’re then brought back in time to the events leading up to said point--which include numerous struggles and emotional hardships for our heroine.  When it comes to these types of stories, where the main character is basically unfairly treated like someone’s punching bag, it’s very easily to get frustrated on their behalf.  Take, “Rising of the Shield Hero” for instance, where Naofumi is forced to clean up the messes of the other heroes and in return gets blamed for crimes he didn’t commit.  Another example is “Tess of the d’Urbervilles,” in which Tess is forced to face society’s harsh judgement and support her awful parents at the cost of her own happiness.  While the reader does garner a lot of sympathy for the main character, that sympathy can easily turn into a heated anger for the string of unjustices playing out in the story--with both a hope and uncertainty if there will even be a pay-off for it all.  This opening reassures the reader that, yes, everything will turn out alright in the end, instead replacing those feelings for a giddy anticipation of sweet, sweet karma. 

Spiraling off that point, this also plays a little into Navier’s character as well.  She doesn’t know what we, the audience, does; however, she’s a very strong and witty person who navigates herself through the worst of situations with a poker face that would be the envy of any gambler.   Yes, she suffers, but she always does whatever she can to rise out of the problem she’s in in the moment.  As much as we sympathize with her, we don’t have to mourn with her, because we know she can pick herself up again just fine. Therefore, it’s very easy to root for her as a kind of champion.  It makes following her story very calming and refreshing as opposed to the tale of the typical underdog.

Rashta’s character also has its own flavor to it.  A sad thing about a lot of modern day villains is that they often get split into two categories: Those who are rotten to the core and those who are merely misunderstood/need redemption.  Neither is necessarily bad: It’s moreso the collective whole of villains we see that make the lot of them stale, tiring, and even unbelievable. Rashta finds a nice balance between the two.  Without giving anything away, her backstory is sad.  We understand that she’s also suffered and is looking for her own happiness.  It’s difficult for her to trust others and she feels very alone, like she could be thrown away at any moment.  However, she clearly enjoys stepping on other people--even those who don’t have anything to do with her current situation.  She expects that other people sympathize with her even as she antagonizes them, such as Navier--the woman who’s husband she’s sleeping with.  The slightest, verbal slap-back can make her burst into tears, and she’ll manipulate others not just for her benefit, but also purely for her entertainment--even when the suffering she causes has grave consequences for those individuals. Yes, she has been a victim in the past, but it’s a role she refuses to let go of even when things are going well for her.  Yes, we understand Rashta, but her actions make it impossible to feel sorry for her.

While the main conflict is between Navier and Rashta as of the current update to the comic when writing this, don’t think they left a certain insect out of the mix! I’m glad that this story doesn’t just focus on two women fighting over a truly worthless guy as other stories have.  A homewrecker is terrible, but it takes two to tango and Sovieshu plays the role of crappy husband perfectly. While it’s addressed that he clearly still “loves” Navier in later chapters, it’s really just an ideal image of her rather than her herself that he projects onto Rashta--and he constantly gaslights/blames Navier for any fault that occurs on his or Rashta’s behalf.  He thinks he’s perfect, and wants both Navier and Rashta to follow his “perfect” vision of a single person without paying attention to his own faults. His “love” has turned to possession, and it will be a beautiful day when he wakes up and realizes he’s well past the point of being able to fix his mistakes.

As for Prince Heinrey, the last of our four main characters, I don’t know how much I can say as of right now since I’m also reading the Webnovel, which is much further ahead in the story than the comic.  Therefore, I won’t go into too many details.  I’ll just say that I do think he is an ideal guy for Navier to turn to, and while the audience can root for the both of them, there’s something a little uncomfortable about it that can tickle the back of the mind.  Don’t get me wrong, Heinrey truly loves Navier and comes across as a real prince charming, but the mystery element of a potential conflict between his kingdom and Sovieshu’s/Navier’s makes me wonder if any feelings she has for him will immediately fade due to the danger he poses to her people--even after the remarriage.  It’s easy to feel bad for Heinrey too since Navier is just coming off her bad relationship with Sovieshu while he’s already head over heels for her.  

That being said, it adds an extra element of suspense that might’ve otherwise been quashed by the opening’s reveal.  As much as I praised it, there would be a concern of just giving away the ending of the story like that--but that’s the gem: It’s not the end, it’s the end of an act/arc.  There’s so much more to “The Remarried Empress” that we’re only just being given spoonfuls of at a time, and with the focus being on the build-up to the divorce, I get a feeling it may lead to a blindsiding reveal in the future. 

Lastly, while this doesn’t have anything to do with the story itself, I have to say that reading the comments of it on Webtoons or posts about it on sites like this are just as entertaining.  Everyone’s so sassy that I think the fanbase just keeps riling itself up behind these characters as much as the plot itself.  I think if something big did happen in the story, I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone forgot for just a moment that it was fiction and rallied behind Navier all while screaming, “For our beloved queen, we ride at dawn!” because we’d just all be so swept away in our own energy. XD I don’t condone mob mentality, but this is one thing I could get behind.            

[lochrannn]

AU_gust: Chefs n’ Gangs

Read on AO3

CW: Canon-typical violence, implied sexual content

Prompt no 31: Any two of the above

Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts

Characters: Diego Hargreeves, Lila Pitts

-

Diego was enjoying himself at Les Parapluies.

He hadn’t really done a lot of cooking in years, but when he was a kid and managed to sneak into the kitchen while Mom was preparing their meals, he'd loved it when she had tied an apron around his neck and had given him jobs to do. At first it had been the fact that he got to spend time with Mom, who was kind, and didn’t mind that he didn’t feel like speaking a lot of the time, and would ruffle his hair when she had a free moment, hands always unnaturally cool, but Diego never minded.

But after a while he had really enjoyed the work in the kitchen. In hindsight he thought it was because it gave him something else to do with knives that wasn’t brutal or destructive, but it was methodical and organized and he could set out a clear plan and follow it. At a time when he never got the validation from his father that he so desperately craved, the simple act of following a recipe and creating a meal, or baking a cake, gave him at least a certain sense of gratification.

Proof that he was good at something.

So even though he’d initially been a little reluctant to take the job, he also felt a tiny bit melancholy because this would end soon.

He was just bringing a consomé to simmer when Larry stepped up to him and whispered in his ear, “The boss wants to see you!”

Diego slightly ruefully turned off his burner, knowing full well that he wouldn’t be coming back to finish the job, and abandoned his station to follow Larry out of the kitchen and into the back of a car that was parked in the alley.

Restaurants were still places where a lot of cash would pass through and for that reason they made a perfect front for money laundering, and if, as was the case with Les Parapluies, it was very popular, it also made very good business for an enterprising criminal.

That was why Diego was here, to meet the head of this particular crime syndicate

It had taken him almost a week to convince Larry, the part time restaurant manager, part time mid level gangster, that he could be of use to the organization and seeded the idea in Larry to take him to his boss for an audience.

The head honcho was an elusive character with exceptionally good security, so Diego had figured the only way to get to him would be with an invitation.

He already knew where they were headed, but was privately entertained all the same that despite the boss’s better than average security, he was perfectly cliché in his choice of headquarters: an abandoned warehouse by the harbour.

A few of the mobsters were hanging around outside when they arrived and before they let him enter, a small woman with choppy black hair and wearing a very crisp black suit that made her stand out completely amongst the burly men, who were dressed mostly in button-downs or sweatshirts, stepped up to him and started patting him down.

He stared at her while she began by squeezing his arms far more thoroughly than anyone could possibly deem necessary. What did she think he was hiding? She’d have felt a gun or a knife if she’d simply brushed along his sleeve.

Then she dragged her hands across his chest and torso with an impassive expression, eyes hidden behind a pair of black shades.

Diego was more or less resigned to his fate when she bent down and squeezed his legs just as thoroughly as she had his arms, but he startled and just about managed to suppress a yelp when she checked his waistband at his back… by reaching up through his legs from the front.

“That’s enough, Gill, I think he’s clean!” one of the mobsters said and so the woman who had overenthusiastically searched him, stood up again, straightened her clothes, gave him a curt nod, and was instructed to hang back when the rest of them all made their way into the warehouse.

Diego was led through the building, which was filled with what must have been contraband and at one end he could see what looked like a lab set up, and out of habit he clocked the more than half dozen other gangsters who were milling about inside, all of them clearly quite heavily armed. But, according to the plan, they weren’t his to take care of, so he focused instead on what lay ahead.

He was walked into the small back office by the four mobsters who had brought him in on arrival and they fanned out in the room while Diego waited across from a large metal desk for the skinny, middle aged man, who was adding numbers in a large, leather-bound ledger, to take notice of him. He knew instantly that this was their target from the picture he’d been given.

When the man looked up at him, his eyes widened and he pushed back his rolling office chair to jump to his feet and shout, “Diego fucking Hargreeves?! What the fuck! Did the Commission send you??” and he drew his gun.

Diego was too taken aback by being recognized so quickly to formulate a plan, when the other gang members also pulled their guns and in the sudden panicked atmosphere somebody started shooting, setting everybody else off as well.

He was just about able to dart back, throwing his hands up over his head reflexively and then he remembered what he was capable of, concentrated on sensing the path of the bullets closest to him, and deflected them away from him, so he could get out of this shootout unscathed.

When there was no more sound other than the ringing in his ears, Diego opened his eyes, heart racing, and took stock of the situation in the room.

In the chaos that had ensued, it seemed that their target had been caught in the crossfire. Blood was seeping out of the bullet hole in his forehead and Diego turned away quickly when he spotted it, because the last thing he needed to see was whatever was left of the back of his head.

“You ok?” came a voice from the door and Diego turned around to look at Lila, who was picking her way across the floor towards him, trying to avoid stepping on any of the dead gang members strewn across the rough concrete. She was still wearing her sunglasses, but he could see from her rumpled suit jacket that she must have run towards the office when the shooting had started.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine!” Diego said, taking one last steadying breath to try and get the feeling of adrenaline pumping through his veins to dissipate. Lila, who had got to him now, reached out to lay a hand on the side of his shoulder. That also helped to relax him.

“What a shitshow!” Diego sighed and Lila squeezed his arm before letting go and pulling a small device out of her pants pocket.

“Yeah, this isn’t ideal,” she said as she hopped over to where the mob boss was sitting, dead, behind his desk and affixed the temporal tracking device to the back of his neck.

Diego turned away again after watching her for only a moment, when he remembered what he was in danger of catching a glimpse of.

“But he’s not our problem anymore, now!” Lila said with a shrug as she made her way back to him, “Herb’ll send someone to deal with this. At least it means we don’t have to spend another night in that shitty little motel room. Say what you will about the Handler, at least she knew how to splash out on a nice hotel. Herb is so stingy!”

Lila had grabbed his hand and Diego let himself be pulled along to the warehouse exit as Lila was chatting away. He only barely took notice of the unconscious men who she had clearly taken out, stealthily, while he had been led to the boss.

This was why he agreed to occasionally go on missions for Herb. Yeah sure, it gave him the same sense of purpose that being a vigilante had given him, but mostly he just enjoyed going on these adventures with Lila.

It wasn’t that their life together had become boring. On the contrary, Diego loved the domesticity of living with Lila, sharing the responsibility of making their everyday lives work, but neither of them had had a particularly normal upbringing, and sometimes they just craved a bit of unusual excitement. And if they could experience that together, even better.

“So, are you going to keep that silly jacket, or...?” Lila asked as they were weaving their way through the structures on the waterfront.

“Why, d’you not like it? I think I look pretty snazzy! And it did make you get all handsy!” Diego countered with a grin and he pulled his hand out of Lila’s to put his arm around her instead and pull her against himself as they walked along, remembering the way she’d definitely made him feel uncomfortable in the most delicious kind of way.

“Oh don’t flatter yourself, I was just doing a thorough job to protect my cover!” Lila shot back but didn’t pull away and then squealed when Diego very suddenly shoved her up against the brick wall they were just passing, pinning her against it with his body, and holding onto her wrists behind her back.

“Yeah, but you almost blew mine!” he growled, looking down at her wide grin and shining eyes.

Lila arched off the wall and slid her body up along his to get to his ear so she could whisper, “I’m definitely going to blow something, alright!” in a low voice.

“Fuck!” Diego breathed and he was almost ashamed to admit that it probably sounded very close to a moan, and he turned his head to catch her lips with his own.

They didn’t even start soft and gentle, instead teeth and tongues were immediately involved and Diego let go of Lila’s wrist so she could wrap her arms around him and he could support her against the wall, while their kisses became increadingly heated.

When he ducked his head and started biting and sucking on the spot on her neck just below her jaw, Lila gasped, then laughed breathlessly, and then breathed, with a surprising amount of sarcasm considering her frazzled state, “Oh yeeees, Chef!”

Diego grunted and his hands on her waist tightened and Lila laughed out loud and said, “Oh my god, you’re into that!”

“Shut up!” Diego growled again and made sure she would, by sealing her lips with his.

But somehow Lila managed to continue giggling, while also loosening the buttons on his chef’s jacket and getting her hands underneath his undershirt and on his bare skin.

Distracted by her fingers he let her pull her mouth from his and make her way back to his ear to continue her taunting with amusement in her voice.

“Oh please, Chef, won’t you want to make things all hot and steamy? Leave searing kisses on my skin? Cook up some coq au vin for me?”

That finally severed the last bit of his patience and Diego pushed off from the wall and away from Lila and grumbled, “Fuck you! You’re the fucking worst!”

But the way she was looking back at him, pants suit all askew, the skin on her neck and the top of her chest where Diego had already half unbuttoned her shirt, flushed, and her chest heaving with deep breaths, a shit eating grin on her face, he almost went straight back in, fully prepared to ignore her nonsense.

But then he remembered where they were and that it would probably be unwise to fuck her up against a brick wall only a couple of hundred yards away from a crime scene that was definitely going to be discovered soon.

So, reluctantly, Diego started to right his own jacket and regretfully watched Lila do the same with her clothes after he explained, “We really should get out of here, the cops are gonna show up any minute!”

-

But of course the fact that they weren’t all over each other anymore, didn’t stop Lila from teasing him mercilessly about his response to her calling him Chef all the way back to their motel and Diego, with no small measure of embarrassment, had to admit to himself if not to her, that it really was kind of doing it for him.

So by the time they got back to their room, he was definitely experiencing multiple levels of frustration and he knew that Lila could sense his irritation and was deliberately riling him even more.

And for the love of him he couldn’t honestly say he wanted her to stop.

Or at least not of her own accord. Diego knew they’d both enjoy it far more if he made her.

So as they stepped into the room, Lila whirled around, startling when Diego slammed the door shut behind him and didn’t leave her any time to react as he crouched down, lifted her up with one arm wrapped around the back of her thighs, and tossed her onto the bed with a satisfying thud from the mattress and a surprised squeak from Lila.

Diego held himself back, waiting for Lila to meet his eyes and he watched with satisfaction as her grin slowly faded and he could recognize the light in her eyes change from amused to borderline hungry. He presumed she found a similar expression on his face.

Lila swallowed hard and said, voice already a little tense, “So what are you going to do now, Chef?”

Diego got on the bed, walking up to Lila on his knees and gently stroked his hands up her calves.

“I’m gonna give you a new appreciation for shitty little motel rooms!” he said in an almost dangerous voice, grabbed her by the back of the knees and yanked, making her fall back against the mattress. Then he wrapped her legs around his hips, and wasted no time in covering her body with his, savouring the sound of her sighing into his mouth when he started taunting her right back with his tongue and hips simultaneously.

[jetsetlife138]

Imaginary - Chapter 4

Rating: Mature for this chapter, but Explicit in future chapters

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader

Summary: A mysterious device throws you into the animated world of Hazbin Hotel. Once an average human living in a three-dimensional world, you’re now transformed into a two-dimensional human that has been cast into Hell. Pentagram City’s residents are curious and most harbor ill-will towards you. Charlie and the staff of the Happy Hotel take you in and offer you protection while they try and figure out how to return you to your world. That is… until you come across a certain Radio Demon with different intentions. Chapter Warnings: Suggestive language, explicit language

Previous Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3

Note: Just a reminder to my uninformed and curious folks out there: Asexuals can become aroused.  Asexuals can have the desire to become aroused. Asexuals can enjoy being aroused.  Asexuals can take steps to becoming aroused.  Asexuals can be aroused by someone else.  Asexuals can be curious about arousal.  Asexuals can alternatively have no interest in arousal.  Asexuality doesn’t mean that you are celibate and have no interest in sex. Do yourself a favor and do some research. Talk to your ace friends. Trust me, they’re more than happy to educate you on that subject.  Brace yourselves for another fun-filled chapter! 

Looking back, acting so aggressively towards the infamous demon was probably not the smartest plan. It may have been a bit premature to assume that he was making any kind of sexual advances towards you. After all, he never really confirmed that was his intention. You may have just dug yourself into an even deeper hole. 

Then again… you wouldn’t put it past him considering how he carried himself and also by the way Angel Dust encouraged more illicit behavior. Even with the small amount of time that you had spent with him, it was obvious that the Radio Demon was an opportunist, and also a crafty bastard who got off on manipulating others for his own personal gain. You had wondered if there was a part of him that genuinely wanted to help Charlie with the hotel, or if he had any ulterior motives. Maybe Vaggie had the right idea about him after all. 

Whatever the case, you had to be smart about this. You weren’t going to get anywhere by being so negative. However, it was also important to brace yourself for any impending threat, especially considering that you were, after all, in Hell. Cartoon or not, this place was filled with evil creatures, and you had to watch your back. 

Taking a deep breath, you braced yourself to leave the safety of your room, equally curious and terrified of what would await you in this mysterious land. Stepping out into the hall, you took a moment to really look around, admiring the creepy hotel structure as well as the art on the wall. Painting of strange beings lined the halls in old, corroded frames. You weren’t sure if the creatures on the canvas were important historical figures, or if they were just members of Charlie’s family. Either way, they were haunting. 

Hearing a commotion downstairs, you decided to go and investigate. Following the noises, you had eventually found yourself in a large room where Charlie, Vaggie, and Angel Dust were gathered together, bickering about something with an odd, furry cat demon who was positioned behind the bar next to them with an annoyed look on his face. 

Upon seeing you enter, Charlie cut the conversation short, forcing a nervous grin. “Oh, hey there! How’s it going?”

Keeping your expression neutral, you replied, “I’m hanging in there, thanks. Am I interrupting something?” 

“Not at all!” she assured you, clearly deflecting. “We were just, uh… discussing tactics to get you home. It would help if we had a little more to go off of. Can you tell us more about you?”

“Just ask Alastor,” Angel suggested, wiggling his eyebrows. “The two a them were gettin’ real familiar upstairs. I’m sure he’d be happy to fill you in.”

“Um. What?” Vaggie snapped, her expression equally enraged and horrified. 

Glaring at the spider-demon, he merely blew a kiss at you in return before snickering fiendishly, eager to see how this would play out. 

“He came to my room after the two of you left,” you admitted, noting the nervous glances between Charlie and Vaggie. “It wasn’t a big deal. We just talked.” 

“Oh, honey,” Angel began. “You was doin’ a lot more than that. These walls talk, babe. And these walls told me they saw you two in bed together.”

Oh, fuck. Not good. 

Charlie looked horrified  while Vaggie seemed to be on the brink of a conniption. “No, no, no, it wasn’t like that,” you urged, putting them slightly at ease. “He was trying to help me.” 

“How is being in bed together helpful to your cause?” Vaggie pressed, clearly not buying it. 

“He did something to me… I’m not even sure. He said that he could help me and then he put his hand on my head. Next thing I know, I’m blacking out. I woke up later in the bed, and he just happened to be lying next to me. That’s it.”

Angel Dust rolled his eyes, crossing one set of his arms in disbelief while Vaggie pursed her lips in a disappointed manner. Charlie took a moment to find her words before she asked, “What exactly did he do to you?”

“Apparently, he could see inside my head. By looking through my memories he could see what my world looked like. I’m not sure how that’s beneficial. Maybe he just wanted to see if I was telling the truth. He didn’t say. He’s… weird.” 

“That’s an understatement,” Vaggie murmured, earning a chuckle from the cat-demon behind the bar. 

“Was that all?” Charlie inquired curiously. 

“Yeah, toots. Was that all?” Angel teased, biting his lip to keep from laughing. Ugh, he was going to be the death of you. 

“He tried to make a deal with me,” you finally divulged. 

“Hijo de puta,” Vaggie seethed, baring her teeth in anger. 

Swallowing thickly, Charlie asked, “What kind of deal?” 

Shrugging your shoulders awkwardly, you replied, “If he succeeded in somehow returning me to my world, he wanted me to take him with me. I guess he thinks my world would be entertaining for him.” 

You glanced at Angel, knowing that he was well aware of the other services that Alastor allegedly offered you. Pleading with your eyes, you hoped that he would take pity on you and keep his mouth shut just this once. 

A smirk graced his lips as he considered your silent request. Much to your relief, he kept quiet. You’d probably pay for that later, but it was worth it to avoid more horrified expressions from the others. 

Charlie wrung her hands together nervously while Vaggie approached you, worrying her lip. “Please tell me that you didn’t make a deal with him.” 

“No!” you confirmed, shaking your head. “Of course not. I barely know him.”

“You gonna give her a history lesson? Looks like I’m not the only one around here who isn’t familiar with the Strawberry Pimp,” Angel drawled, now apparently bored of the topic. 

Rolling her eyes, Vaggie sighed with exasperation. “Alright, look. No one knows how he’s accomplished so much since arriving in Hell. Overlords that have ruled Hell for centuries were no match against him. To prove his dominance and establish a reputation, Alastor pretty much massacred anyone who posed as a threat to his power. He broadcasted his carnage all throughout Hell, the mere savagery of his slaughters attesting to his abilities. That’s how he got his name, “The Radio Demon”. How original, right?” she jeered. 

Furrowing your brows, you continued to listen intently. “It’s still unclear as to how he attained the power to overthrow our world’s most ancient and devastating evils, but it’s evident that he's a nefarious demon and dangerously unpredictable--capable of unimaginable destruction.”

Holy fuck. You knew he was dangerous, but you had no idea what he was actually capable of. And you had the audacity to berate him. 

Struggling to keep from trembling, you asked, “So… if he’s so dangerous, why are you partnering with him?” 

Charlie smiled timidly, trying to maintain her optimistic demeanor. “He offered his expertise because he supports what we’re trying to do here!” 

“You cannot possibly believe that,” you countered skeptically. 

“I don’t,” Vaggie barked back, scowling. “I want nothing to do with him.”

“Vaggie, come on,” Charlie implored. “We’ve been over this. We’ve got to at least give him a chance. Everyone is capable of redemption. He hasn’t done anything to hurt us or the hotel. He could be the best thing to happen to this place. Other than you,” she finished with a smile, earning a flirtatious eye roll from her girlfriend. 

“You could always try commanding him to leave,” Angel taunted. “I’d like to see how Hell’s princess pairs up against Hell’s most powerful demon.” 

It was then you remembered hearing her mention that she was a princess the day before when she had saved you from the mob. In all of the calamity, it had completely slipped your mind. “Wait, so you’re actually a princess?” you asked. “How does that work?”

“Jesus, you really are from another world, aren’t you?” Angel interjected, reaching for a drink at the bar. “Ever hear of Lucifer? The Big Bad of Hell?”

Nodding your head, Angel then pointed to Charlie. “That’s his kid.” 

Your eyes were probably the size of baseballs as you stared at Charlie, completely at a loss for words. “It’s really not a big deal,” she assured you, her face flushed with embarrassment, which only added to her already rosy cheeks. 

“Wait, you’ve been here for less than a day. How do you even know about Lucifer?” Vaggie questioned. 

“I mean… I don’t know about your Lucifer,” you clarified, trying to find the right way to explain yourself. “In my world, Lucifer isn’t an actual person. He’s more of a myth, or a religious figure, depending on who you ask. There’s stories about him and no one knows if he actually existed. He’s always been portrayed as evil incarnate. He brought sin to the world and God cast him down into Hell. That’s the extent of my knowledge.”

“Interesting,” Vaggie commented, pressing a finger to her lips inquisitively. “Your world’s version of him isn’t too far off. Rest assured, he’s real. And he’s not really a fan of our business.” 

“Yet,” Charlie corrected her. 

“Yet,” Vaggie agreed, grinning slightly. 

“Wow,” you huffed, trying to comprehend everything. 

“I know that this is probably a lot for you to take in,” Charlie sympathized, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, but we’re going to help you. All of us.” 

“Speak for yourself,” the cat-demon commented before taking a swig of his booze. 

“Oh! I forgot to introduce you! This is Husk. He’s a friend of Alastor’s--”

���I ain’t his friend!” he barked back, seething. “That stupid son of a bitch dragged me in here outta nowhere! I’m just biding my time until the booze runs out.”

“Got it,” you acknowledged, thoroughly enjoying his callousness. “It’s nice to meet you.” 

“I can’t say the same,” he grumbled, reaching for a new bottle of alcohol after pitching the old, empty bottle behind him. 

Clapping her hands together, Charlie quickly changed the subject. “Right! Let’s get started! What can you tell us about how you got here?” 

It was mostly a blur, but you tried your best to concentrate and remember exactly what had happened. “I was out with my friends and we had passed by this old thrift shop,” you began, trying to recall the details. “It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. I was looking around and saw an old television set on display. It looked like it was at least fifty years old, still in prime condition. I love that kind of retro stuff. I remember grabbing the remote for the t.v. to see if it still worked. I pressed the power button, and bam!” You threw your hands up dramatically for affect. “That’s the last thing I remember.” 

Charlie hummed in thought, looking to Vaggie for her input. “I’ve never heard of anything like that,” the moth-demon thought aloud. “Could it have been cursed?”

“That kind of stuff doesn’t exist in my world,” you countered. “Magic and curses and stuff… none of that is real. It’s all mythical.” 

“If none a that stuff is real, how do you explain this place, sugartits?” Angel chimed in, cackling. 

He wasn’t wrong. You weren’t sure how to explain your situation. “I… I don’t know,” you stammered. “Maybe magic is real. Or maybe it’s something other than magic. Of course, there’s always the very real possibility that I’m just insane and all of this is in my head.” 

“Oh, no, my dear,” an eerily familiar voice resounded ominously throughout the room. “I’ve been in your head, and I can assure you… you’re as sane as I am.”

Everyone was looking around frantically, wondering where Alastor was hiding. Moments later, a shadow appeared on the floor close to your feet, causing you to jump back and yelp as it grew rapidly until the Radio Demon himself materialized next to you, grinning widely. You briefly caught the glares and nervous expressions from the others out of the corner of your eye as he loomed over you. Wincing at his misguided assurance, you replied, “Great. That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“Ha! I do so enjoy your brazen disposition,” he jeered boisterously.

Your automatic response was to bite back with an aggressive jab, but after hearing what he was capable of, you instead avoided his gaze as you fought back the urge to antagonize him.

Immediately picking up on your hesitance, he carefully gauged your reaction as he stepped closer to you. “Now, now, darling. No need to muzzle yourself.” He then reached forward to place one of his slender fingers under your chin, tilting your face up to meet his. It took everything you had to remain still and maintain eye contact rather than smack his hand away. 

Baring his teeth in a leering smile, his eyes morphed into intimidating red slits as he purred softly. “We are going to have so much fun.” Tags: @beetlewise-and-pennyjuice @edgy-drama-queen @chasingfireflies1999 @galaxy-meteor @cecidit-31 @shadowclawstudio88

[charliesradiodemon]

Arranged Marriage (Part 4)

Part 1 Part 3

(Ping reminders for @ariloucii and @wargraymon0709 <3 if you need a tag reminder, please dm me!

Thank you all for your support and comments! I read every tag, reply and comment yall write and I cry every time <3)

Part 4

Even when Alastor and Charlie sat back down, the studio remained silent. It wasn't until Lucifer cleared his voice did everyone break out of their daze. The show continued on with flustered interview questions and void of any problems. Katie and Tom asked only three questions before their time was up so no juicy details were disclosed. Nothing else stopped the show after the announcement and they even managed to announce the date of the wedding: two weeks from that day. It was going to be a massive spectacle as this sort of thing never occurs in Hell. No one had to guess that every important being in Hell would attend.  

As soon as they exited the studio, they were bombarded with paparazzi, demanding answers to their mundane questions. With Charlie on his arm, Alastor led the way past the rowdy crowd. He felt Charlie’s grip tighten, so he walked quickly to get away from the noise. Alastor amusingly noted how they were smart enough to at least realize that pressing them too hard would be a death wish. The crowd cleared the way, knowing not to cross Lucifer, his daughter or his newly appointed son-in-law. They kept their respectful distance as they yelled their questions at the group. Charlie let out a breath of relief as soon as they reached their getaway vehicle and loosened her grip on Alastor to get into the limousine first. Next was Alastor and lastly Lucifer. 

Despite the large vehicle and plenty of sitting space, Alastor sat himself right next to Charlie while her father sat across from them. Once the limo was in motion, the devil himself smiled wide and let out a hearty laugh.  

For the first time in a long time, Lucifer shot a wide toothy grin toward his daughter. “What a fantastic show! You two really sold the engagement! And that horrid Killjoy oh- the look on her face,” His smile was genuine and Charlie finally felt a little more than a failure for once. It was just too bad that he wasn’t proud of her because of anything she’d accomplished herself. The fact left a painful twinge in her heart.

The whole car ride back to the hotel was full of Lucifer’s compliments and praises toward the pair. He sang his praises for so long, neither Alastor nor Charlie could speak. She wouldn’t know what to say anyway. She just gladly took what approval from her father came her way, but still the praises felt empty. She kept on a polite smile to keep her father happy, but she couldn’t help but stare out the red tinted window of the limousine and blank out for the rest of the ride. 

Alastor and Charlie were dropped off at the hotel, where paparazzi had already formed a mob outside the hotel’s doors. As soon as Alastor helped Charlie out of the limousine, the crowd came closer, but not too close. Alastor thought it was a shame that no one tried anything. He would have enjoyed seeing some unfortunate reporters fly. Instead the group herded themselves to only nearly encapsulate them. With a challenging grin toward the crowd, Alastor grabbed Charlie by the hand to lead her through the flashes of cameras and obnoxiously loud reporters. It was a short distance to the door and those in the way made sure to move as quickly as possible. 

They strolled through without a hitch and only minor blinding from the lights. There were bangs on the door, but they were left ignored. 

Finally, Charlie spoke up. “So that’s what you meant by beneficial,” Charlie huffed an empty chuckle.

Alastor’s hearty chuckle sounded through the hallway. “Yes! My dear you really sold that performance like a professional! Boy your father is quite the schemer, announcing the engagement in front of so many fearful eyes! Hahaha! I bet you’ve already built quite the reputation for yourself! Oh I bet my stars you’re-“

However once he heard the sound of sniffling, he immediately used his shadow to teleport in front of her. He loomed over her as she hid her face in her hands. She was crying again. And the awful tickle crept back into his chest. “I don’t understand, what’s wrong this time?” His brow scrunched in confused curiosity as he attempted to assess the situation. His grin did not falter, but looked out of place with the upper half of his face. 

Charlie sniffled and breathed a chuckle without looking at him. “Sorry this is the second time I’ve cried today it’s just been… a lot. First Vaggie and now my dad was finally proud of me. But… it doesn’t feel right. It’s… complicated.” 

Something in Alastor’s gut hurt at the sight of Charlie looking so hopeless. He wasn’t sure exactly what he should do to help, but he wanted to try. He reached out and placed a gloved hand on top of her head as it proved to somehow calm her down a little. “Please, explain away my dear.” 

So she told him. Everything from her complicated family issues to how she felt about today was out there in the open and Alastor sat with her and listened to her patiently and quietly. It shocked and flattered him that the princess trusted him enough to pour his heart out. Alastor felt as though her words were falling on deaf ears though. 

This type of pain was unfamiliar to him. He knew about physical physical and psychological pain, but emotional was not his forte. Hearing about it from her was interesting, but it also sparked new sensations he didn’t fully recognize. His chest was tight and he felt some other form of agitation within. Rage was familiar to him, but this- it was nothing he was familiar with. Sadness? Whatever empathy is? Alastor couldn’t tell, nor did he know how to act on the feeling. For the first time he felt useless and he didn’t know what to do with that. 

Charlie eventually passed out on the couch they shared. She lasted a lot longer than Alastor expected. She seemed exhausted the moment they walked back into the hotel so it was a surprise that she still had the energy to cry her heart out again. There were too many tears and not enough smiles from his partner. He didn’t like it and the feeling in his chest only seemed to confirm this fact. But again, he felt useless. He didn’t know how to comfort others. The only things he knew were causing anguish and smiling. The only things he ever craved were the despair of others and the entertainment that came with it. 

Alastor leaned over her curled up form and thought about how vulnerable she was. She was completely unaware and a painfully easy target. He could end her here and now without even trying. But no, that thought didn’t sit right with him. It was odd how she didn’t awake his bloodlust and it amazed him how he could show so much restraint toward an oddly meek individual such as herself. 

He stood and gently picked her up, careful not to rouse her. To Alastor’s surprise, she felt light and fragile like a dove in his arms. For as tall as she was, she was much lighter than she looked. 

As she settled in his arms, she snuggled into his chest. This alone sent shivers up Alastor’s spine, but it also left an unfamiliar warmth in his core. The feeling was unpleasant yet… not either. It was a strange feeling, but he couldn’t say that he hated it. A part of him even wanted to somehow hold her closer. He wanted to feel more warmth that erupted whenever she was around. Charlie Magne was a bundle of surprises that never ceased to amaze him even after six months. He would have thought the open and naive princess would have bored him quickly after starting this partnership. Yet here he was, always excited to see what she did next. 

He walked her over to her bed and laid her down gently. When he snapped his fingers her dress changed into a simple nightgown with the other dress neatly settled in his hands. He set it down on the chair next to her bed and turned back to face the sleeping demoness. No, she didn’t look anything like a demon. She looked more akin to an angel than any grotesque demon here in Hell. From her optimistic personality to her long golden hair, she looked and acted as what Alastor would imagine an angel to be like. 

His gaze trailed up to said hair and found it still up in a complex braided hairdo. The demon’s clawed hand hovered over her head for a moment as he pondered on a sudden thought that popped in her head. He quickly drew back as he dismissed the thought. What was he doing? He needed to leave, he’d overstayed his welcome.

But then he looked back down at her. ‘Just do it. She’ll be uncomfortable if you don’t.’ He reasoned- though it felt more like an excuse. It took him a moment of hesitation but he ultimately decided to reach over and undo her hair to set it free from its braided updo. The softness he felt through his gloves as he ran his fingers through her golden locks gave him a sense of contentedness. It was amazing how her hair ran freely and easily through his fingers. It was easily the softest thing he’d felt since his mortal life. 

When Charlie shifted under his touch, he quickly withdrew his hand and paused. How long had he been at it? When she didn’t stir he gently pulled the covers over her body. He looked back up and found a content expression that graced her puffy yet peaceful face. 

There was a skip in Alastor’s heart, which he clutched at as soon as he felt it. Under his hand, his heartbeat had returned to normal, but the feeling of the skip lingered. This particular sensation triggered by her wasn’t new. He’d felt it on several other occasions over the half year he had known her, but it only ever happened with her around. It was curious, but he’d always ignore it. But now that they were spending much more time together though, it may prove impossible to ignore. Truthfully he was excited to learn what this feeling was. Maybe later on he could ask Charlie about it.

Alastor chuckled quietly and glanced back down at his fiancee’s sleeping face in curiosity. “I don’t know what you’ve done to me dear, but I cannot deny you’ve certainly caught my interest,” He whispered to her. He gazed down at her and watched her breathe for a moment before bending down slightly. “I wonder...” With care, Alastor gently shifted the hair that threatened to obscure Charlie’s sleeping face from view. “What did you do to incite this feeling? What have you awoken?” He paused as if he waited for her to respond. But in reality he just dozed off for a moment, lost in her sleeping face. Without receiving his answer, he straightened his back and took one last look at his fiancee before leaving for the night.  

Alastor began his own trek home and reflected on the day’s events. His grin clearly reflected his eagerness for more, to know more about the things he felt and why they only happened around the strange princess of Hell. He was eager, but he knew he needed to pace himself, to savor this conundrum. But one thing was clear: Charlie Magne was a mystery that he could not wait to fully unravel.

PART 5 HERE

[dykeninthdoctor]

bentony for the otp questions cuz ik u wanna talk about them and i wanna hear it hehe

you’re the only person i love on this godforsaken earth

coffee shop au: who is the barista, and who frequents the coffee shop?

ben parker has been working at the same coffee shop since he started college, because his manager lets him hang his admittedly bad paintings on the walls with “reasonable prices,” whatever that means, he’s a college student debra please i have loans to pay off. but she’s honestly a great manager, and he has managed to sell some paintings, so really, who’s winning here? 

apparently, who’s winning is the extremely cute guy who just walked in the door and is about an entire foot shorter than ben but looks better in a suit than he ever could, and oh fuck he’s coming over debra please save me i don’t know how to talk to cute boys-

“hi,” cute guy says. 

“uh,” ben says. 

(for some reason, cute guy comes back. again. and again. and again. debra is exhausted. ben’s just happy cute guy likes his coffee, because he’s honestly really bad at making lattes.) 

highschool/college au: who is the straight-a student, and who’s the backrow slacker?

tony stark transfers to ben’s high school senior year. tony stark. richie’s insanely excited about it, and ben doesn’t know how to tell his brother to leave him alone, because clearly he doesn’t want anyone to talk to him. ben also doesn’t know why stark’s apparently flunking every class he’s in, when he has an iq of 280, according to a science journal richie’s subscribed to. ben doesn’t care about any of that when he’s told he has to tutor stark, who shows up to their first session with red-rimmed eyes and wearing a sweater that doesn’t seem like it fits him very well, and asks ben for a hug in a voice that’s quieter than the sound the same sweater makes when it brushes ben’s arm, because clearly ben says yes. 

stark—tony—doesn’t need tutoring. apparently, what he does need, is daily hugs. 

ben’s willing to provide those, even if they make something warm appear in his chest, even if tony says they’re just friends. 

even when tony finally kisses him, and the hugs go hand-in-hand with more of those kisses that just make the warmth in his chest grow. 

rivals to lovers au: who takes their rivalry seriously, and who is half in it just to push the other’s buttons?

ben doesn’t know why tony stark sits behind him during their psych lecture every single day and whispers things to him every single day like they’re friends when they clearly aren’t and he doesn’t even know why stark is taking psych when he’s an engineering major but he really doesn’t like the way the t.a. looks at stark and oh fuck maybe ben isn’t mad at stark at all and maybe he really likes the way stark always talks to him during the lecture because his comments about the professor’s mustache are always way more entertaining than anything he’s learned all year and maybe the way stark’s eyes sparkle when he grins make him look really, really pretty- 

enemies to lovers au: which one switches sides?

listen i have one kink and it’s mob boss ben parker so rival mob bosses antonio carbonell and benjamin parker realizing that they’d be so much more powerful if they just joined forces together and working it out like a business transaction. if there’s occasional fucking on the side, that’s fine, it’s all fine, it’s just a way to destress. it doesn’t matter as long as tony doesn’t catch feelings. 

(he catches feelings. and how can he not, with ben giving him that look and calling him angel in that tone of voice that should be illegal and-)

soulmate au: who is eager to meet their soulmate? who absolutely does not want to meet their soulmate?

tony knows that once he meets his soulmate—benjamin, his arm tells him—his life is supposed to get better. that’s what jarvis said happened when he found ana. 

but howard and maria are soulmates too, and he hears his mamma crying every night in the separate bedroom that she tries to hide from tony. 

so, tony’s not too hopeful that life will get better for him. the stark’s don’t seem to do all that well with the whole soulmate thing.  

single parent au: which one is the single parent? (alt. if they’re both single parents: which one is open to starting a new relationship from the start? which one is never planning on finding love again… until they meet the other and are instantly smitten?)

tony finds out about harley when the kid’s delivered by a social worker declaring tony the next of kin after his mother’s death and informing him that they did a dna test before swiftly removing herself from the premises. so. tony’s got a one-year-old to take care of and no idea what he’s doing. 

luckily, his very hot neighbor seems to have a way with babies. 

(ben really, really doesn’t, he’s just been attending every other maternity class with mary because she’s a terrifying pregnant woman and richie is a weak man who needs support from his brother, apparently.) 

alternatively:

ben doesn’t know how to raise a kid. richard and mary are gone, and peter isn’t speaking anymore, not to anyone, and ben doesn’t know what he’s doing. he knows peter cries himself to sleep every night, knows because peter doesn’t sleep unless he’s in bed with ben, and he knows he’s failing. failing richie, mary, peter. 

and then peter starts talking again. he goes back to school, and he starts talking again. it’s only a few words a day, but more and more the longer he’s in school, and ben doesn’t know what’s happening, because he isn’t doing anything. 

then he meets mr. tony, peter’s kindergarten teacher, during parent week, and everything clicks. 

ben doesn’t know how to thank him enough. tony tells him he can thank him by focusing on himself, and healing, and grieving, and if he needs help, then to give him a call. 

(ben calls him a month later, on the three-month anniversary of the crash, and tony...stays. all night. gets peter to bed. holds ben’s hand. doesn’t let go.)

doctor au: which one is the longsuffering doctor? which one is the patient?

listen. ben is not a doctor. he doesn’t even work at the hospital. he was just bringing may her lunch, because she left it at the apartment like she always does, but for some reason, there’s a really cute guy with. what looks like a burn. on his arm. waving him over, and calling him “doc” and winking at him, and really, how hard is it to pretend to be a doctor? 

(tony figures him out within seconds. but shit, this fake doctor is really, really handsome, and he blushes when tony tells him that, so really, how important is the burn on tony’s arm?)

bodyguard au: who is the bodyguard? who are they protecting? which one is secretly pining for the other?

ben didn’t mean to become a bodyguard, he went to school for art for god’s sake, but his plan to work at the firehouse didn’t work out and he still wanted to help people so...here he is. in the manor of the wealthiest people in manhattan, shaking howard stark’s hand, because apparently he’s now the bodyguard of tony stark.

(tony didn’t think dear old dad was serious when he threatened a bodyguard, but now there’s a very attractive man following him around constantly. tony thinks it’ll work out.)

pirate au: who is the pirate? who is the member of the royal family who did not sign up for this? 

captain stark has been the kingdom’s “greatest” pirate for five years. prince ben doesn’t know what’s so great about him, until he gets kidnapped from a royal banquet due to his own stupidity. (captain stark has really pretty eyes and he just wanted to know where he was going, so is it really his fault?) 

childhood best friends au: which one was super obviously in love with the other the whole time? who was oblivious until they were older?

ben’s family has been working for the royal family since before he was born, so it’s only natural that he grows up with prince tony, shares a bedroom with prince tony when one of them has a nightmare, falls in love with prince tony...gets ripped away from prince tony to serve in the royal military. 

apparently, none of that is natural, according to his fellow soldiers. 

ben doesn’t care, he just wants tony back in his arms. 

send me a ship and i’ll make some aus!

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/17/2020: SPOOKIES

What do we watch, when we watch movies? This question was sparked by my SOV experience with the very different, and differently interesting BLOODY MUSCLE BODYBUILDER FROM HELL and HORROR HOUSE ON HIGHWAY 5. Within the Shot On Video category, one can find inventive homemade features that are driven entirely by blood, sweat, and the creators' feeling of personal satisfaction. The results are sometimes fascinating, in their total alienation from the conventions and techniques of mainstream filmmaking, and after all, one rarely sees anything whose primary motivation is passion, here in the late stages of capitalism. But, all this talk about what goes on behind the camera points to a discrepancy in how we consume different kinds of production. The typical mode of consumption is internal to the movie: What happens in it? Do you relate to the characters? Are you able to suspend your disbelief, to experience the story on a vicarious level? One hardly needs to come up with examples of films that invite this style of viewing. Alternatively, we can experience the movie as a record of a time and place in which real people defied conventions and sometimes broke laws in order to produce a work of art. SOV production is usually viewed through this lens, where the primary interest is not the illusory content, but the filmmakers' sheer determination to create. We find some overlap in movies like EVIL DEAD, which simultaneously presents a terrifying narrative, and evidence of what a truly driven team can create without the aid of a studio, or any real money to speak of. See also, Larry Cohen's New York City-based horror films, in which a compelling drama with great acting can exist side by side with phony but beautiful effects, and exciting stories of stolen footage that would be dangerous or impossible to attempt today. I'm thinking about these different modes of consumption now because I just watched SPOOKIES, a legitimately cursed-seeming film whose harrowing production history has superseded whatever people think about what it shows on the screen. The lovingly composed blu-ray from Vinegar Syndrome includes a feature-length documentary that attempts to explain the making of the film--which is accompanied by its own feature length commentary track by documentarists Michael Gingold and Glen Baisley. The very existence of this artifact suggests a lot about the nature of this movie, in and of itself. The truth behind its existence is as funny as it is tragic.

I'm not going to do a whole breakdown of the tortured origins of SPOOKIES, which is much better told by the aforementioned documentary. To summarize: Once upon a time in the mid 1980s, filmmakers Brendan Faulkner, Thomas Doran and Frank Farel conspired to make a fun, flamboyant rubber monsterpiece called TWISTED SOULS. It was wild, ridiculous, and transparently fake-looking, but it was loved by its hard-working creators; as a viewer, that soulful sense of joy can rescue many a "bad" movie from its various foibles. Then, inevitably, sleazoid producer Michael Lee stepped in--a man who thought you could cut random frames out of the middle of scenes to improve a movie's pace--and ruined it with extreme prejudice. Carefully crafted special effects sequences were cut, relatively functional scenes were re-edited into oblivion, and the seeds of hatred were sown between the filmmakers and the producer. Ultimately, everyone who once cared for TWISTED SOULS was forced to abandon ship, and first time director Eugenie Joseph stepped in to help mutilate the picture beyond all recognition. Thus SPOOKIES was born, a mangled, unloved mutation that would curse many of its original parents to unemployability. For the audience, it is intriguingly insane, often insulting, and hard to tear your eyes off of--but in spite of whatever actually wound up on the screen, it's impossible to forget its horrifying origin story as it unspools.

As far as what's on the screen goes: A group of "friends", including a middle-aged businessman and his wife, a vinyl-clad punk rock bully and his moll, two new wave-y in-betweeners, and...a guy with a hand puppet are somehow all leaving the same party, and all ready to break into a vacant funeral home for their afterparty. Well, this happens after a 13 year old runaway inexplicably wanders in to a "birthday party" in there, that looks like it was thrown for him by Pennywise, and he has the nerve to act surprised when he is attacked by a severed head and a piratey-looking cat-man who straight up purrs and meows throughout the picture. Anyway, separately of that, which is unrelated to anything, the island of misfit friends finds a nearly unrecognizable "ouija board" in the old dark house. Actually this thing is kind of fun-looking, having been made by one of the fun-havers on the production before the day that fun died, and I wonder if anyone has considered trying to make a real board game out of it...but I digress. Naturally, the board unleashes evil forces, including a zombie uprising in the cemetery outside, a plague of Ghoulie-like ankle-biters, an evil asian spider-lady (accompanied by kyoto flutes), muck-men that fart prodigiously until they melt in a puddle of wine (?), and uh...I know I'm forgetting stuff. One of the reasons I'm forgetting is because of this whole side story about a tuxedo-wearing vampire in the basement (or somewhere?) who has entrapped a beautiful young bride by cursing her with immortality. That part is a little confusing, not only because it doesn't intersect with the rest of the movie, but because sometimes it seems contemporary--as the bride struggles to survive the zombie plague--and sometimes it seems like a flashback, as our heroes find what looks like the mummified corpse of the dracula guy, complete with his signet ring. So, I don't know what to tell you really. Those are just some of the things that happen in the movie.

Some people like this a lot, and have supported its ascendance to cult status, which is a huge relief when you know what everyone went through to make this movie, only to have it ripped away from them and used against them. I found SPOOKIES a little hard to take, for all the reasons that the cast and crew express in the documentary. It holds a certain amount of visual fascination, whatever you think of it; something of its original creativity remains evident in the movie's colorful, exaggerated look, and its steady parade of unconvincing but inventive creature effects. But then, you have to deal with the farting muck-men. What was once a scene of terror starring REGULAR muck-men, that sounded incredibly laborious to pull off, became a scene of confusing "comedy" when producer Michael Lee insisted that the creatures be accompanied by a barrage of scatalogical noises. Apparently this was Lee's dream come true, as a guy who insisted everyone pull his finger all the time, and who once tried to call the movie "BOWEL ERUPTOR". But, of all the deformations SPOOKIES endured, the fart sounds dealt a mortal injury to the filmmakers' feelings, and even without knowing that, it's hard to enjoy yourself while that's happening.

Actually, all the farts forced me to ask myself: Is this...a comedy? Like for real, as its main thing? As the movie slogged on, I had to decide that it wasn't, but I was distracted by the notion for around 40 minutes. I was only released from this nagging suspicion when the bride makes her long marathon run through throngs of slavering zombies who swarm her, grope her, and tear off her clothes, before she narrowly escapes to an even worse fate. The lengthy scene is strangely gripping, and sleazy for a movie that sometimes feels like low rent children's entertainment. Part of the sequence’s success lies in its simplicity; it is unburdened by the convoluted complications of the rest of the movie, whose esoteric parts never fall together, so it seems to take on a sustained, intensifying focus. The action itself is unnerving, as the delicate and frankly gorgeous Maria Pechuka is molested and stripped nearly-bare by her undead bachelors, running from one drooling mob to another as the horde nearly engulfs her time and again. Actually, it feels a lot like a certain genre of SOV production in which, for the right price, any old creepy nerd can pay a small crew-for-hire to tape a version of his private fantasy, whether it's women being consumed by slime, or women being consumed by quicksand, or...generally, women being consumed by something. I wish I could describe this form of production in more specific or official terms, because I genuinely think it's wonderful that people do this. Anyway, Pechuka's interminable zombie run feels a little like that, and a little like a grim italian gutmuncher, and a little like an actual nightmare. Perhaps it only stands out against its dubious surroundings, but I kind of love it--and I'm happy to love it, because apparently the late Ms. Pechuka truly loved making SPOOKIES, and wanted other people to love it, too.

Which brings me to the uncomfortable place where I land with this movie. On the one hand...I think it's bad. It's so incoherent, and so insists on its impoverished form of comedy, that it's hard to be as charmed by it as I am by plenty of FX-heavy, no-budget oddities. Perhaps the lingering odor of misery drowns out the sweet joy that the crew once felt in the early days of creation--which is still evident, somehow, in its zany special effects, created by the likes of Gabe Bartalos and other folks whose work you definitely already know and love. But I feel ambivalent, about all of this. On the one hand, I can be a snob, and shit on people for failing to make a movie that meets conventional standards of success. On the other hand, I can be a DIFFERENT kind of snob--a more voyeuristic or even sadistic one--and celebrate the painful failures that produced a movie that is most interesting for its tormented history and its amusing ineptitude. I'm not really sure where I would prefer to settle with SPOOKIES, and movies like it. (As if anything is really "like" SPOOKIES) With all that said, I was left with one soothing thought by castmember Anthony Valbiro in the documentary. At some point, he tells us how ROSEMARY'S BABY is his personal cinematic comfort food; he can put it on at night, after an exhausting day, and drift to sleep, enveloped in its warm, glowing aura. He then says that he hopes there are people out there for whom his movie serves that same purpose, that some of us can have our "milk and cookies moment" with SPOOKIES. Honestly, I choke up just thinking about that.