#(aka having a job being able to be organized having a more sane way of life stuff like that)

[gab-has-adhd]

ADHD and BPD?

Did you mean

Literal absolute hell on earth

[katsukisbimbo]

bun bun

✯ pairing: usagiyama rumi x reader

✯ synopsis: everything changed for you when your favourite hero, usagiyama gets thrown inside your shop.

✯wordcount: 12.4k+

✯warning: fem! reader, she/her pronouns, wlw, swearing :))

✯ note: this is dedicated for lovely andrea <3 aka ms @kagsbuns !! I think I got carried away tho. this was only supposed to be 10k max, but at 9k I still didn’t get to the conflict so here we are LOL. I hope u guys enjoy!! this is my first time writing something so long!

You sighed as you used you picked up the heavy basket of apples. Your day usually consisted of tending to your growing vegetables in the early morning, before picking and washing the ripened vegetables and fruit. Using some fresh peppers from your garden to spice up your usual omelette for breakfast, then getting ready for work. 

You currently owned a cute little produce market in the middle of the city, which was only a twenty-minute walk from your home. Your small shop was mostly frequented by old folks and young moms buying fruits and veggies for their children.

 You loved your work and your life, tending to vegetables and fruits and selling them. Your work helped you produce a schedule, a schedule that kept you sane. 

You smiled as Ms. Takeshi walked in, smiling at you before browsing through her favourite strawberries that you had just picked and washed this morning. “Good morning lovely! Your fruits and vegetables look wonderful today! Did you also make some of my favourite banana bread?” She queried as she made her way to the display case where you kept your freshly made pastries. 

“Of course Ms. Takeshi! I already wrapped it up for you!” you handed the bag over to her. “You’re going to be a great wife one day lovely” She smiles as she leaves the door, leaving you with a sour taste in your mouth. Your smile dropped as you activated your quirk. You had a plant quirk, pretty convenient for your work. You were able to manipulate plants and grow them to your will.

Large vines soon began to rise from your potted plants as you started to organize some of your products, not liking how they looked. You rolled your eyes as you recalled what Ms. Takeshi had said to you. Every morning was the same thing with her. Some days she would even try to set you up with her grandson. Yes, you were only 19, turning 20, but you already had everything you wanted. Plus, you didn’t play for the other team. 

You were more of a “We fell in love in October” kinda gal. 

Your thoughts were swiftly interrupted at the sound of a body getting thrown inside your shop, soon landing right in front of you. It took you two seconds to register that a body just flew into your shop and ruined your blueberries, and another two seconds to figure out that this body belonged to the Rabbit Hero: Mirko herself. You gasped softly as you pried her body out of the rubble with your vines. 

You propped her up onto your counter before wrapping your vines around her once more, with the purpose to heal her bruised body. You concentrated your power as you continued to heal her, your vines sprouting flowers and glowing with a light yellow hue. 

You had to restrain yourself from cooing when you saw her nose twitch. It wasn’t known that you were fond of heroes. Everyone had assumed that you had no interest in it, when in fact, you’ve been a huge fan of Mirko’s for some time. You did have other heroes you liked, but Mirko had your attention and heart. 

You struggled to breathe as you felt your energy being sapped out of your body. You didn’t know how much longer you would be able to take, especially when you had only used your quirk for meagre housework, up until now that is. You suddenly jolted in surprise when Mirko’s arm shot up and grabbed you by the collar of your shirt, bringing your face barely ten centimetres away from hers. 

As her mouth opened to speak, another crash occurred nearby, making both of your heads snap up in the direction of the noise. You gaped as you saw the wrongdoer slowly walk towards your shop. “Mirko-san, please get up” you shakily whispered to her. 

She laughed at your cute shivering figure before jumping up on top of the counter. “Come at me bitch!” she provoked before they hastily jumped her. You quickly threw yourself out of the way and hid behind your apples. “Hey! Baby carrot!” she hollered as she pinned down the villain. “Get out of here!” Rumi growled. You immediately shook your head, small tears sliding doing your cheeks. 

“I-I can’t! I’m not gonna let either of you mess up my shop!” you weakly yelled as you somehow mustered up enough strength to summon your largest vines, speedily sending them towards the villain and entrapping them, leaving Mirko to gape at your work. She whistled as she observed the vines twining around the body of the unfortunate villain. ‘T-That’s kinda hot, not gonna lie’ she thought in her head before successfully knocking the villain out with one kick. 

“Hey, you okay there?” she questioned as she looked at your trembling figure. You felt unable to respond to her query, your throat suddenly closed up. You let out a squeak in response before feeling your knees buckle, your body quickly tumbling to the ground. Before you could even graze the wooden floor, Miruko already had her arms wrapped around you, carrying your unconscious body princess style, your face nuzzled onto the top of her breast. 

“My poor bunny” she cooed before wiping the sweat off your brow, taking you to the closest ambulance to get the both of you checked out. 

___

You groaned as the exhaustion started to seep into your body. Your head was killing you. You peeled your eyes open, expecting to see your room, only to see a blindingly white hospital room. A few machines monitoring your blood pressure and heart rate had been situated by your side, along with your IV drip which was currently connected to your left arm. 

“I see you’re up” voice booms, making their presence known. 

You turned to see Mirko, sitting on the couch, clad in civilian clothing. You blushed as her outfit consisted of a black leather jacket, accompanied by tight black jeans, a white v-neck shirt, and chunky leather shoes. To sum it all up, she looked delectable. You felt your cheeks warm at the sight of your hero crush. What was she doing here in the first place? Wasn't she supposed to be on patrol or something? What was she doing, wasting her time on a girl like yourself?

You cleared your throat before piping up. “W-why’re you here?” you questioned before quickly averting your gaze. 

“You saved my life, my little carrot” She started, standing up and making her way towards your bed. You felt yourself slightly flinch back, intimidated by both her figure and her aura. Mirko had an intense vibe that made you want to crawl into a hole and die. The way she carried herself was both overwhelming and admirable. She was just so captivating, it was like-

“Hey. Hey!” she snapped her fingers in your face. “What’s wrong carrot? Are you nervous? Last time I saw you, you were brimming with complete and utter confidence. Well, kinda, but you were still badass. Are you a badass or was that just a facade to impress lil ol’ me? Hm?” she teases, her face nearing yours. 

“I-I no! I mean y-yes! Um!” you felt yourself about to tear up from embarrassment. You were humiliating yourself in front of your favourite hero. You sputtered once more before deciding to just shut your mouth, staring at your lap where your hands were neatly folded. 

“What’s wrong carrot? Do I make you nervous?” she taunted. 

God, now you wanted to cry. 

 You felt your tears starting to arise, your throat closing up. Your lips were quivering. You tense your jaw to prevent any whimpers from slipping out, you didn’t want to embarrass yourself any further. Mirko's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. She made her poor carrot cry! 

She immediately took your hands off of your lap, bringing one of your hands to rest against her soft cheek. She then gave your palm a soft kiss. “Don’t cry! I didn’t mean to tease ya that much!”. You just nodded as you felt yourself become light-headed at her actions. The Pro-Hero Mirko just kissed your palm. She just kissed your palm. You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. 

You were unaware of how to act in front of her as you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself any further than today. You would always remember the time you embarrassed yourself in front of your hero crush. 

“What happened by the way? Why am I here?” you piped up, taking the time to admire her bright and shining face. 

“Well, I accidentally got thrown into your shop and got knocked out. You used your little vines to help me out! I passed out a little, but the villain came, and I tried to fight him, but before I could do some real damage, you stepped in and told us that you weren’t about to let us ruin your shop and apprehended the villain by yourself! I didn’t know you had it in ya! I was so surprised but I managed to knock out the fella! You also ended up passing out dear! I had to catch ya and carry you to the ambulance myself!” She grinned, playing with your fingertips. 

“I’m so sorry“ you cried, gripping tightly onto her fingers. “I didn’t mean to make your job harder for you! I‘m only nineteen and I don’t have enough money to repair any of the damages! Are there even damages? For sure there are!” you were about to cry again. Everything was just so overwhelming that your first reaction was to cry. 

You’ve only met Mirko and you’ve managed to embarrass yourself three times. 

“Don’t worry about it, carrot. I already took care of the damages, because I was the one who got thrown into your shop. Don’t worry about being a crybaby either. It’s cute” she gave you her signature toothy grin. 

“I-Thank you! Thank you so much Mirko-san!” You cried, bowing as low as you could in your state. 

“Don’t worry about it” she brushed off. 

“Please! I have to repay you somehow! I can give you a free produce? I can make your bread? I can't offer much” your brows furrowing. You wanted to repay her. 

“Yeah? I’ll think of something, cutie. Anyways, I gotta run, I’ll see you around yeah?” She quipped before making her way out of her room, giving you one last smile before exiting. 

You had it bad for her. For sure. 

___

It’s been a week since you were discharged from the hospital, you didn’t have any fatal wounds but was only admitted for overusing your quirk, you didn’t use your quirk for anything as exhausting as apprehending a criminal. 

You sighed as you continued to tend to your vegetables, already missing a certain someone’s presence. Meeting with her, even for such a short time was an experience. 

You clicked your tongue as you checked the time, you only had half an hour to make your way to work and set up your produce. 

You wondered if you would be able to see her again. 

You continued to bustle around, seeing Ms. Takeshi rushing inside. “Oh my goodness! Are you all right lovely? I heard about the attack! Thank goodness you’re okay!” she continued to check your body for any bruises or wounds, sighing in relief when she found none. 

“I’m fine Ms. Takeshi! I wasn’t attacked, a Pro got thrown into my shop.. and she saved me” your mind drifted to the memory of Mirko lunging at the criminal, putting her body in front of yours to shield you from any attacks. 

“She saved me” quipped up a voice. 

Both you and Ms. Takeshi had whipped your head around, seeing Mirko, clad in her hero costume with her hand on her hip. She smirked at your bewildered reaction before moving further into the store. 

“M-Mirko-san! What’re you doing here?”

“I don’t know, to be honest, I was in the area and I just missed your face” she walked around, admiring the large carrots you had grown in your garden. 

“Y-you missed me? I-I missed you too, M-Mirko-san..” you blushed, averting her piercing gaze. “You’re such a precious carrot, call me Rumi” she offered, stretching her hand out to yours in a handshake, you hesitantly took it, noting how her hand dwarfs yours. 

“I couldn’t possibly!” releasing her hand. “Why not? We’re friends aren't we?” your eyes widened at her implication that you two had something more than just a fan and idol relationship.  

“I-I YES! Of course, we are!” you rushed, not wanting to upset her. If she was willing to call you her friend then who were you to disagree? Not everyone has the chance to be friends with their favourite idol. 

Ms. Takeshi smirked as she watched the exchange between the two, noting how each of them had quite a fond look in their eyes. She shook her head as she signalled you that she was about to leave, you gave her a hasty goodbye before going back to Mirko-- or Rumi, as she preferred. 

‘Those two are getting together’ Ms. Takeshi absently thought, smiling at the thought of you finally having the companion you deserved.

“This is a cute place ya got here, it's almost as cute as you” she flirted, smirking at your abashed expression. Normally you would have cringed at such a cheesy line, but to be honest, it hit a little different when it was Rumi who was saying it. “I’m not cute!” you huffed. You were a strong independent woman! You were not cute. 

As you continued to stew in your thoughts, Rumi proceeded with exploring your cute little shop, sampling some fruits as she passed by. “D’ya have any family here?” she queried, popping a plump, red strawberry in her mouth, almost gasping at the sweetness and freshness of the berry. “I don’t actually! I moved here just a year ago to start the shop I've been dreaming about ever since I was a kid!” you smiled, recalling the obstacles you had gone through to reach your goal. 

“That's good! It’s good to have goals you want to work towards, it keeps people motivated” 

“How about you Rumi-san? Do you have any family here?” you piped up, curious of her families’ whereabouts. Did she live here alone? There was only so much information that could be disclosed to the public about heroes and their personal lives. 

“They don’t live here. They’re back in my hometown. It’s nice living out here, I get to do what I want, save all the people I can, and kick as much as... Though, there are times where I miss my family... They’re a rambunctious and chaotic bunch I tell ya!” she chortled. 

You felt yourself melt at the very thought of Rumi with her family, playing and spending time with her small cousins/siblings. If someone were to describe the look on your face, they would have immediately said that you looked either lovesick or had heart eyes. You blushed at the thought of spending time with Rumi and just being gay <3 with each other. You honestly needed to get a love life, it isn’t normal to fantasize about your idol, especially when they’re right in front of you. 

Rumi noticed that you were mentally elsewhere, smiling at your dumbstruck expression. What were you thinking about that was more interesting than her? Was it perhaps Rumi herself? She shook her head, trying to disperse her somewhat indecent thoughts. It wasn’t proper to ogle or fantasize about your friend. 

“Hey, can I get your number?” she piped up, causing you to snap out of the internal conflict you were previously having about yourself. “W-what?” you stuttered, unbelieving of the fact that she, Usagiyama Rumi, had just asked for your number. Plain, old, little you! This was an absolute dream. 

You quickly nodded, having no words as you haven’t fully processed her question or the meaning of it. You struggled to extract your phone from the pocket of your overalls. Curse women's clothing and their tiny pockets! Rumi laughed at your struggles, loving at how you scrunch your cute little nose when you feel feelings of frustration. 

 “Aha! I got it!” you cheered, fist-pumping with your phone in your hand, before sheepishly handing your phone to her. Rumi raised a brow. “Is this me as your lock screen?” she smirked. 

At this point, you were begging the Gods, any God, to take your soul. You did not understand how you could have forgotten such a crucial thing! You were an idiot! A dumbass! 

“And, did you edit yourself in the picture so it looked like we took a picture together?” 

 You felt your brain short circuit. You froze up, unblinking and unbreathing. Rumi didn’t mean to tease you so much. You were just adorable! The fact that you had been too shy to ask her for a picture and kept the edited one as your lock screen amused her to no end. She just wanted to eat you up!

As she continued to gush about your cute habits and you in general, you were tearing yourself up inside. You thought you had changed your lock screen a few days ago! It was a picture of Rumi as well, but you weren’t included. She must think you’re desperate! Or a stalker. Or worse! A desperate stalker! 

“Lord, please take me” you whispered, hoping that someone would grant your wish this time. “What was that baby carrot? You want me to take you? I don’t mind, but I wanna get to know you better first”

Your jaw dropped at Rumi’s insinuation. “I’m kidding! You're adorable. C’mere” she beckoned, not wanting to keep her waiting you immediately made your way towards her side, her muscular arm scooping you up and pressing you against her warm body. 

“R-Rumi-san..! What are you doing?”

“Taking a picture ya dummy! Make this your lock screen okay? I want everyone to know” she winked. She pressed her face against yours before capturing a picture. You felt as if your face was on fire. She was smashed against you! “Hey, you okay with fanservice?” she asked, you nodded your head, curious of what she had under her sleeve. 

Rumi soon grabbed a hold of your chin before pressing her soft lips against the chub of your cheeks. She quickly snapped the picture, capturing your embarrassed face. She let go of you, opting to check the pictures to see if they had come outright. “You want one more baby carrot?” she mused, peering at your warmed face. 

You slowly nodded your head, she threw her head back and laughed, coming over once more and wrapping you in her arms. This time, she walked, well, more like waddled, as you were in her arms, to put your phone on the counter, setting the timer for three seconds. She hugged you tightly, resting her head on top of yours. 

Since she was already taking pictures, might as well request some poses right?

“Can we do peace signs? I… I like peace signs” you mumbled, twiddling with your thumbs. “Oh gosh, you're adorable!” she gushed. “Peace!” the both of you posed as the flash went off. 

You ran back to your phone, eager to see how the pictures had turned out while Rumi had stayed behind, watching your excited figure. Your eyes lit up as you examined the photos you both had taken. They were adorable! “Rumi-san looks very pretty” you mumbled, unaware that she was now peering over your shoulder and heard what you had said. 

“You gotta stop tempting me, baby carrot. As I said, I wanna get to know you better” she smiled. You blushed. This was the second time she had mentioned that. Does she like you as well? You felt a little bold so you decided to take your opportunity to fluster her as well. 

“If you wanna get to know me better, why not go to lunch with me?” you offered, slyly smiling at how her jaw was left ajar. “Y-You cheeky little brat! If you're free right now we can go but it’ll be my treat okay?” she insisted, raising her brow as if to say ‘are you going to say no to free food’. 

You nodded and agreed, who were you to say no to free food? Especially free food with your favourite hero/crush. She extended her hand towards you and you gladly took it, lacing your fingers with hers, loving how both of your hands fit perfectly within each other. 

“Let’s go baby carrot. I’ll make sure to feed you lots” 

___

“Nooo-- Rumi no more!”

“It’s okay carrot, I know you want more” she smirked

“I can’t! I-It’s too much” you moaned, rubbing your bloated stomach with both of your hands. Both of you had eaten too much chicken! Rumi decided to challenge you to an eating challenge, ordering a whole 10 piece box for each of you. That, plus the drinks and fries she had ordered on the side. 

“Awh you’re so cute, for sure you’ll be sleepy” she cooed, propping her chin upon her fist. “I’m thankful for you Rumi-san, but if I eat more, I’ll surely explode” you cried, wanting to just go home and nap. You closed your eyes and leaned back. You couldn’t even breathe properly anymore! She was going to stuff you full! [;)]

“Hye, carrot. I gotta ask since I want both of us to be on the same page. Was this a date? I mean, would you consider this a date?” she sheepishly asked, bringing warmth to your cheeks. You didn't perceive this as a date, since you two never really outright stated it was a date, but it did seem date-ish. 

Rumi watched as you struggled to come up with an answer. “Ah! I didn’t mean to pressure you carrot! I’m sorry! I-I just really like you, and if you didn’t consider this as a date, I would like to take you out--that's only if you agree! As I said, no pressure cutie”

What was she talking about? This was so much pressure! On the bright side, your crush likes you back. This was a miracle! She was famous on top of that1 not that you liked her for her popularity, but she could have anyone, and she chose you! You had to thank which God was looking out for you, or if it was just your luck. Either way, you’ve been manifesting this for some time. Not exactly this situation, but you had actively been looking for a partner, a female partner at that. You didn’t want anything serious, shoutout to Ms. Takeshi though, she was trying at least. 

“I like you Rumi-san and I considered this as a date! And.. and I want to go on more dates with you!” you nearly yelled, causing some heads to turn. This had caused Rumi to gasp, scrambling out of her chair to sit beside you and engulf you in her arms, nuzzling her soft cheek against yours. 

“You’re so cute! I swear! Let me take you home! I just wanna eat you!” she gushed, uncaring of the peering eyes in the restaurant who had been watching the whole exchange. “R-Rumi-san! How lewd!” you grimaced. sure was a handful. 

“I’m sorry, cutie! I just can’t help it! You make me wanna go feral” she growled the last bit, feeling a coil in your lower tummy tighten. What was she doing to you? Did someone hit you with a quirk? This was crazy! 

“Hey, don’t think too much about it. You and I are going to get to know each other better okay? Okay, carrot?” She grinned, peeking down at your flustered expression. This was going to be something else. 

___

Lately, you and Rumi have gotten closer. You both had started to frequently text and call each other, though you have been a little timid during phone calls. They were mostly carried by Rumi and her extroverted personality. You hope she knew that you were just shy and that you weren’t losing interest in her. 

Your relationship with Rumi had no label, at least for now. You both decided that it would be wise to learn about each other before making rash decisions. Especially you. You had a habit of running off in tandem and making yourself worry about scenarios that have zero percent of happening. Good thing Rumi was there to calm your nerves.

You were so immersed in your thoughts that you had failed to notice the stop sign in front of you, promptly running into it and talking on your butt. Luckily, nobody except a small child had seen you embarrass yourself. That’s what you thought at least, until—

“Baby carrot! Are you alright?! My poor little carrot didn’t see the stop sign! Are you okay? Do you need to be taken to the hospital? I can take you!” She rambled as she checked your body for any extensive injuries, sliding her hands down the curve of your ass in the process. You didn’t wanna go to the hospital as you would be an unnecessary burden to all the medical staff. It was still better to be safe than sorry. 

She was a different breed. 

“I can’t help it, I just.. I care about you” she murmured, facing off to the side to hide her warming cheeks from your view. She was adorable! Is this what she felt when she saw you blush? It was a nice feeling. Like eating really good food. Rumi blushing was good food. 

“Well, um, if you don't wanna go to the hospital, do you just want to come over for dinner or something?” she offered. “Aren’t you patrolling right now Rumi-san? I would hate to impose and possibly get you in trouble with your work” you sheepishly looked away from her gaze, unable to compete with the intensity her eyes hold, as if she wasn't a quivering little mess two seconds ago as well. 

“Nah. I can get someone to cover for me. Let me call them right now so that I can put your mind at ease yeah?” she detached herself from you and went to grab her phone strapped on the side of her somewhat revealing hero costume. You never really noticed it but Rumi’s costume was, how do you say this, very sexy. At least to you. 

You shook your head as dirty thoughts soon started to fill your head. This was wrong! Rumi-san is a strong beautiful woman who shouldn’t be objectified! She does not deserve that! Though she looked very beautiful in it, that was for sure. 

As you continued to have another internal battle with yourself, Rumi had already dialled Hawks’ number. 

“Yo Hawks! It's Mirko! I need a favour!”

“What is it?”

“Please cover for me. I’m on patrol and I just asked my crush out for dinner at my place but she’s iffy because she doesn’t want me to get in trouble for ditching my patrol--”

“You are ditching your patrol though” he replied. Rumi can already see Hawks using this against her. 

“PLEASE! She’s so beautiful and I like her so much” Rumi practically begged.

“Fine, but I’m doing this because you’ve never seemed so serious for anyone before and I’m happy for you. You don’t have to owe me” he sighed, but Rumi knew that he didn’t mind at all. 

“Thank you so much! Bye! Muah!” she yelled, before facing you. “Hey little carrot, you can come over! I told you my friend was gonna cover me” she smiled, her shiny teeth showing. “I-I..let’s go!” you blushed, wanting to be able to hide your cheeks from her. 

“H-Hey, slow down! Plus I haven’t got any ingredients! We gotta go shopping first!” 

“S-shopping? Together? That’s quite domestic” 

“Better get used to it”

___

“Are you allergic to anything my little carrot?” she questioned, wanting to know which ingredients she should take. “Ah! I’m allergic to shellfish” you mentioned. “I get hives and sometimes my throat closes up”. You stressed that your allergy wasn’t a big deal, but Rumi thought otherwise. “Hm, no seafood then” she pondered on what to get next. “How about pasta?” 

“Oh-I still eat shellfish, but just not often” you spoke, hoping she would overlook this small thing. “That’s not good carrot! You can die like that!” she yelled, catching the attention of most of the customers within the vicinity. “R-Rum-san! Not so loud!” you mumbled, tugging onto the fabric of her hero costume. “I’m okay Rumi-san! I promise!” 

Her concern for you was adorable. Nobody had ever really cared for you like this. You knew your limits and everything, and everyone knew as well, but it was a nice change. The way Rumi cared for you gave your tummy butterflies. Her smile, the way she spoke. You might be in love. For sure, it’s too soon to tell. You’ve also never felt love other than familial love or love for your friends, but you were sure this was love. 

You haven't known Rumi for a long time, but love isn’t about the time you spend, it’s the experiences you both share. If you could describe the way you felt in a word, it would be love. The way Rumi plagued your mind 24/7, the way you felt your heartbeat a little harder than it usually does. This felt like love. Of course, you weren’t about to tell her, but you already had a love for her from the beginning. It had just grown into something more than idolization for her the more you got to know her. Loving Rumi gave you absolute euphoria. Even if her feelings for you were platonic. 

“Hey, baby carrot? Let’s go?” she asked, already pulling you towards the exit of the store, waving at some fans who had called out her name. 

You were still lost in thought. You never understood why she was attracted to you, it wasn’t love, but even her attraction was questionable. To you, it seemed like a whole joke. The fact that your idol even offered to cook for you was baffling, not even that, the fact that she even spoke to you was a miracle itself. You felt tears well up in your eyes. There was just no way that Rumi would actually like you. 

Too lost in your head, you bumped into Rumi who had suddenly stopped, though she wasn’t facing you. She tightened her grip on your hand “I can smell your tears, why are you crying Y/n?” she whispered before whipping around to face you. Her face was riddled with sadness, her ears flopping down at the sides of her face. “D-Did I do something?” she stuttered. She loosened her grip on your hand, letting go completely. 

You felt your heartthrob in your chest. That was the exact opposite! You were crying because you were happy with her, too happy almost. You never wanted it to end. You sobbed a little harder before running to her, burying your face into her chest. Her arms wrapped around you, rubbing your back and pressing soft kisses on the crown of your head.

“I’m sorry! I’m a crybaby! I was crying because spending time with you made me happy! Very happy! I don’t want it to stop! I wanna stay with you forever Rumi-san!” you cried, hugging her tighter as if she was about to evaporate into thin air and never come back. “Baby... I...Can I kiss you?” she whispered, bringing her warm hand to rest upon your tear-stained cheek.  

Your eyes widened. Did she want to kiss you? Well, who were you to deny her? You nodded your head and shut your eyes, feeling the press of her lips against yours. She pressed multiple kisses against your lip before swiping her tongue against your bottom lip, causing you to let out a soft whimper at the contact. 

She grinned and did it once more, this time letting go of the groceries in her hand before pressing you into the bricked walls of the alleyway. Rumi had her hand on your hip and the other against your cheek, your arms wrapped around her and tangled in her soft, silky hair. You moaned as she pried her way into your mouth, exploring it with her tongue before you let out a whine that caught her attention. 

She pulled away to see the work she had done, she had left you flustered and fucked out, just from a kiss. She leaned over to press another soft kiss onto your lips before slowly pulling away again. “I like you, so please believe me when I say so. I want to have more good memories with you. Don’t cry okay? You have me, and I’ll never let go” she whispered before rubbing her nose against yours.  

You giggled as she pulled away, almost surprising her. It was stupid of you to think so negatively. You knew that Rumi would never do anything to hurt you, well, not on purpose at least. You nodded before picking up the groceries on the floor. You smiled. “Let’s go home, Rumi-san”

Her eyes sparkled at the fact that you had called her apartment “home”. She quickly nodded before helping you with the bags, opting to hold all with her one hand so that she could use the other to hold yours. 

___

“We’re finally here!” yelled, making her way to the kitchen to drop off the groceries, you took off your shoes before entering and following her. Her apartment was pretty luxurious. It was one of those gated places that needed I.D and permission to enter, in other words, it was high end. It was to be expected honestly, she was a very famous hero who had some very..determined fans.

Her apartment was mostly white, it didn’t have that many decorations, mostly since Rumi was quite a simple person who had no desire for such things. She did have matching furniture though. You walked through the living room, taking a moment to gaze at her white and grey furniture. It all matched! She had a knack for interior design. If she wasn’t a pro, she would have made some money off being an interior designer.

You finally made your way into the kitchen. Seeing Rumi already putting the groceries away, setting out the ingredients. You gaped at the various ingredients laid out on the counter, why hadn’t you noticed the number of ingredients she had picked up?! There were quite a few.

“Rumi-san? Why’d you get so many ingredients?” you queried, tilting your head to the side in confusion. “Cuz! We’re gonna make a lot of food!” she cheered, raising her fist that was currently holding a pork bun, slightly squishing it and slightly deforming it. 

“R-Rumi-san the pork bun!”

“Oh, haha! Sorry about that baby carrot” she apologized before splitting it in half and pressing it against your lips. Did she want to share? A-And feed you as well? You couldn’t refuse so you shyly took a bite, taking a small piece of the pork bun in your mouth and chewing. You moaned at the wonderful flavours dancing on your tastebuds, this tasted so good! It was still quite warm as well. 

As the both of you continued to stand in eat in the kitchen, neither of you noticed a familiar flying birdman hovering above the balcony, peering at the both of you with a happy smile on his face before flying away. 

“She’s lucky she has me as her friend” Hawks laughed as he continued his patrol. Hopping off of the balcony and flying away like a little weird fairy man. 

___

You both had finished cooking, there was a surprising amount of dishes you two had made. Your meal consisted of a wide but healthy assortment of dishes. It was no surprise that Rumi cared about what she was putting inside her body. 

“Come on baby carrot, let's go eat yeah?” 

You nodded and brought as many plates as you could to the counter, pulling up a chair while Rumi took a chair to sit beside you, promptly digging into her food. “This is so yummy! Where did you learn how to cook like this? I’m not a bad cook myself--” that much was obvious, “-but you cook well carrot!” she gushed, quickly swallowing the food in her mouth. 

“Ah-you're giving me too much credit Rumi-san!” you cried. Your cooking was mediocre at best and she was likely just gassing you to make you feel better. You were unsure of why she was hyping you up, though, you weren’t going to question it. Your mind suddenly drifted back to the kiss you both shared, heat rising onto your cheeks. 

You slapped your cheeks, trying to get any indecent thoughts to exit your head. This caused Rumi to laugh and take another bite of her food, used to your unusual behaviour already. You blushed, though this time, you were less embarrassed than usual. If she had already liked you after knowing you were weird, then why hold back?

“Hey baby carrot, why do you call me Rumi-san? It just seems a little too formal.. and I wanted us to be a little closer than that? I mean, I have a nickname for you” 

This wasn’t the first time that you had thought of giving her a nickname. You were nervous as to what she would say about it. Would she think it was stupid? Would she hate it? Would she make fun of you for it? Of course not, but your thoughts were going a mile a minute and you didn’t have any time to filter them out. 

“I’ll think of one for you, but please give me some time to do so!” 

“Of course baby carrot” she replied before quickly getting back to eating as she motioned for you to do the same. 

The both of you had just finished eating, already washing the remaining dirty dishes, including the pots and pad you had both used to cook. It was quite a domestic and intimate sight. Both of you, side by side. Both washing the dishes. and the other drying. 

As of right now. You were in complete and utter bliss. You’ve had a taste of euphoria and that was Rumi. It was amazing how one person could affect another so much. 

“Hey, it’s getting late. Do you wanna sleep here?” She piled up. Drying a plate before placing it on the dish rack. Meanwhile. Your mind was once again in distress. Why was she so casual about these types of things? Of course, you wanted to sleep beside her, and cuddle close to her, and gee her soft skin brush against yours, and—you get the idea. 

You were a bit hesitant as you didn’t want to overstay your welcome or burden her even further. No matter what she said, you knew that a hero wouldn’t be able to drop their patrol just on the dot. She broke the rules and you knew it. You didn’t want her to be making reckless decisions just because of you! 

“I-I... Am I already overstaying my welcome,” you asked, trying to make sure she wanted this and that she didn’t feel obligated to let you stay for whatever reason? You just wanted a good reason for you to be here. 

“It’s late. I would walk you home to ensure your safety, but right now, there’s a lot of villains lurking and to be honest, I’m not sure if I can take them all while protecting you at the same time” 

She wasn’t lying. If it was just her. For sure she’d be able to go all out and defeat as many villains as she could. She was in the top fen for heaven’s sake! She was just afraid that you’d get caught in the crossfire and end up injured, kidnapped, or worse, dead. 

“Oh.. okay” you mumbled, finishing up washing the dishes. Right now. You were unsure of what to do, she was still unfinished with drying the dishes and had suggested you slept over. Sure you trusted her, but, were you ready to sleep beside her? Were you ready to let her head you snore? Were you ready to let her see your horrible bedhead in the morning? Quite frankly, you were unsure if you were ready at all. 

“But if you want to, I can take you home, it’s your choice. I’ll gladly defend you and protect you carrot” she had quite the facial expression. You could tell that she was determined. Her sheer determination was held in her eyes, her lips pulled up in a smirk and her eyebrows furrowed. 

“I don’t want to be more of an inconvenience, so I’ll just choose the less inconvenient option. I’ll sleep here tonight but I’m taking the couch” you announced. She was going to take it or leave it! You were not going to go into her private space and make her share her rooms and bed. 

“Fine. But. Please feel free to move inside if you’re uncomfortable. I know that couch seems like a good couch to sleep one, but it’s only good for sitting really. More like decoration if you were going, to be honest. 

“Fine, but I promise that I won’t!” you stubbornly added. Wanting to make sure that she understood that you weren’t going to sleep beside her. You were fine sleeping on the couch and she had to understand that! She smiled before giving you a change of clothes, some pillows and blankets, including a spare toothbrush. 

“I’ll be in my room okay? Goodnight carrot” she bid you goodnight before entering her room, not fully shutting it. You fixed up the couch before making your way into the bathroom, passing by Rumi’s bedroom and seeing her shadow move around as her door was left ajar. You changed your clothes and cleaned up, getting ready to take your place on the couch. 

You charged your phone and closed your eyes, waiting to drift off into sleep. 

___

You screamed as you were being chased by a villain, it was in the early hours of the morning, you could tell as the sun was coming up and it just had that morning vibe. You were used to getting up this early and were familiar with it. What you failed to comprehend was why a villain was chasing you? 

It seemed as if it was only about five a.m or six a.m at the latest, but surely by now, there would have been cars driving around. You peeked behind you and saw that the villain had caught up, as he was about to grab you, you suddenly fell off a cliff, your stomach-dropping, your voice stuck in your throat before letting out a shriek and waking up in a cold sweat. What type of dream was that?

“Baby carrot! Are you alright?” said a worried Rumi who already had a glass of water at your side. You tried to take the cup from her but she noticed how shaky your hands were and decided that it would be best to help you drink herself. You slowly gulped down the water, not wanting to choke. You were heaving for air after drinking, maybe you didn’t slow down as much as you had needed to. 

“I-I had a bad dream! I was being chased by a villain and I was all alone! Then when he was about to catch me, I fell off of a cliff!” you explained, recalling the haunting images of the unknown man who had almost caught you. Rumi wrapped her arms around you and had placed you onto her lap, patting your head and rubbing your hands to comfort you. 

“How about you sleep in my room and I sleep here? Are you comfortable with that?” she whispered, not wanting to startle you while in such a vulnerable state. 

“No.. please stay beside me bun. I wanna sleep beside you if that’s all right” you blushed, averting her gaze as you were embarrassed to have mentioned the nickname you had been thinking about for her. It was something you had been thinking about and whilst being cliche, it still suited her quite well. 

“B-Bun? That's such a cute nickname! A little cliche, but still cute! I love it so much and I’m so happy that my cute little carrot thought of it for me!” she gushed, holding you even tighter against your body, almost squeezing the life out of you. 

“I’m glad you like it bun”

“I do carrot. Let’s go to bed now yeah?” she offered, placing your figure down on the couch before straightening herself out and standing up, stretching her arm your in your direction, asking you to take it. You gladly placed your hand in hers, pushing yourself up and sticking beside her as you both made your way to the bed. 

Rumi let go of your hand and made herself comfortable on the bed, making space for you as she moved the large and fluffy comforter and patted the spot, beckoning you to come to take your place beside her. You reluctantly sat on the bed before fully laying flat on your back, awkward and unmoving as you felt Rumi’s eyes on your still figure. 

“You can turn on your side and face me y’ know” she piped up. 

“I’m nervous” you admitted, not wanting to gaze into her eyes. 

Rumi laughed before placing her hand on your cheek, coercing you into facing her direction. You hesitantly obliged and turned your whole body to face her, still avoiding her piercing eyes. She laughed once more before inching her face closer to yours, both of your lips just an inch away from each other. 

“Don’t be a nervous baby carrot, it’s only me” she reassured, stroking the chub of your cheek while you relished in the feeling of the soft pads of her fingers stroking your face. You placed your hand on top of Rumi’s, pressing your face even harder against her palm. Rubbing your cheek against her warm hand. 

“Can I kiss you bun? I wanna kiss you so badly” you softly whined, feeling yourself in the hands of Rumi. Instead of replying she decided to just press her lips against yours, moaning at the feeling of your soft plush lips. 

“Baby carrot” she whimpered, pulling you impossible closer to her, your chests and thighs pressed against each other. You felt arousal consume your whole body, a tight coil forming in your stomach. You whimpered needlessly as Rumi sucked your tongue while wrapping your leg around her hip, placing her hand on the curve of your ass. 

You continued to whine and moan as Rumi caressed your body, her tongue pulling you in and leaving you in a trance. You pulled away, feeling yourself get lost in Rumi herself. 

“If we continued any longer, I would’ve passed out for sure” you sighed, pressing soft kisses on her lips and moving to scatter kisses on her cheeks. She closed her eyes, relishing in the pleasure of you peppering her face with soft kisses. “That’s okay baby carrot, we’ll take it to slow okay?” she took her turn at peppering your cheeks with kisses, making sure to kiss each untouched spot. 

“I like you” you confessed, this time using the courage that had magically shown up to your advantage. You swiped the hair out of her face, wanting to see her. “I like you more,” she replied, kissing the tip of your nose. 

 ___

“Ah~ This is the life! Getting your hair braided by a cute girl while she feeds you!: she chortled, leaning back into your lap as you continued to braid small pieces of her hair while taking small breaks to grab the chopsticks and feed her. You enjoyed watching Rumi relax and eat. It was somewhat satisfying. 

“Don’t you have work today bun?” you asked, feeling much more comfortable than you were from before. After you had spent the night at her place, your relationship with her had only gotten stronger. You felt closer than ever and felt as if nothing could break the pair of you up.

“Nah baby carrot, this is a once in a lifetime thing us heroes call a ‘day off’” she joked, looking behind to face you. “But I’ll be busy this week okay? I don’t want you to worry so I’m just letting you know that I’ll be on the down-low”

It was quite upsetting to see your crush? Girlfriend? Partner? You didn’t even know what to call her. The both of you still hadn’t put a label on your relationship, not that it was a problem, but you wanted to know if she was in it for the long ride or if this was something casual. If it was something casual you would prefer to break it off. You didn’t appreciate sharing your significant other with anyone. 

“Okay bun, I’ll wait for you” you had just settled on something simple, though Rumi saw through your facade and saw that you were somewhat upset by her incoming absence. She just turned around and hugged you, hoping it would give you some type of comfort for your oncoming lonely days without her. 

___

It had been a week since you had seen or heard from Rumi. While she was away, you had busied yourself with tending to your garden, your customers, and practicing baking pastries. You had quite a lot to do. At the moment, you were currently picking some ripe strawberries as you were planning to make some strawberry shortcake, seeing as you had never properly tried it before. 

As you picked the last strawberry, you had noticed it was a mutated one. It was huge! It seemed like it was about three to four normal strawberries combined into one! It fits in the palm of your hand! While you were distracted, you failed to feel your phone vibrate in the pocket of your overalls. 

You made your way inside of your small home and placed the freshly picked basket of fruits on the counter and washed your hands in the sink. After drying your hands, you took your phone out to see a text from Rumi. 

From: bun<3

I’ll be coming home today. I miss you

7:24

Her text made your heart flutter. Even if it was simple, it still filled you with love and affection. Anything Rumi did was amazing in your eyes. It was quite pathetic really, but that’s what love did to people sometimes.  

You decided that this would be a good time to drop by and give her some love and affection with some food included. You smiled as you imagined the happy face that would be present on Rumi’s face when she saw you. She was for sure going to be happy!

You felt yourself starting to feel giddy. This was going to be a good day!

___

You were wrong, dead wrong. Going to Rumi’s house had been a horrible decision. 

You had decided that after closing up the shop, you would make your way to Rumi’s and bring her food. You wanted to show her how much you had missed her, but you mostly wanted to spend time with her. She was always around and made sure to check up on you and your shoot during her patrols. If she wasn’t in the area, she’d send one of her sidekicks in her place.

When you had gotten to Rumi’s place, she still wasn’t home, giving you time to set up a nice dinner for her before she had gotten home. You had prepared some fried rice along with stir-fried vegetables, knowing that she enjoyed a healthy balanced meal, especially after a hard mission. You smiled once again, you were excited to see her again. You just wanted to take her in your arms and love her the way you wanted to. She wasn’t aware, but you were completely and utterly in love with her.

As time went by, it became easier and easier to admit your feelings for Rumi to yourself. Before, you would blush and stutter at the thought of it, but now, you were able to say it to yourself, but sadly not to Rumi. Not yet, at least. 

You heard the front door slam open before hearing a familiar pair of feet stomp inside before hearing the door slam shut. You heard Rumi stomp her way to the kitchen, her brows furrowed and her eyes filled with anger. She didn’t even spare you a glance before placing her keys on the counter and making her way into the bedroom and slamming it shut. 

You sat down on the counter, hoping that she just needed time to relax before spending quality time with you. You waited, and you waited. It had already been an hour and the food had gone cold. The vegetables were cold and hard, as well as the rice. You decided to place everything in a counter before cleaning up. You knew that she was just upset and needed time for herself.

You made your way to the front door, making sure to shut all the necessary lights as it was already nearing midnight. You didn’t wanna upset her any further by overstaying your welcome. Usually, you would have asked to spend the night, but it didn’t seem like Rumi was in the mood for head pats and cuddles. 

You smacked your head with your palm, already putting on your shoes but you had stupidly forgotten about your phone which you had tossed on the couch when you had first arrived. You took off your shoes once more before stepping back into the living room, knowing how disrespectful it was to walk into someone's home with shoes on, especially dirty shoes. 

You made your way to the couch before picking up your phone, seeing two different texts from Rumi before she had gotten home. 

From: bun <3

I’m really upset, usually, I’d love for you to visit but I just want to be alone. I hope you understand. 

10:23

From: bun<3

We can go out tomorrow if you’d like? I miss you carrot

10:26

You were an idiot. An actual idiot. At that time, you were already setting the table as you had closed the shop at eight, having only two hours to cook Rumi a proper meal before her arrival. You should have just left her alone. Now she thinks that you ignored her texts and invited yourself into her home anyways.

You sighed before plopping your phone down on the cushion beside you, placing your arm over your eyes, wanting to just go home and sleep. You should probably make your way home now. It was already getting late. You sat up, making a move to get up off of the couch when Rumi’s bedroom door slammed shut. A pair of feet dragging down the hallway as she made herself known in the living room, standing barely two feet away from you. 

Your jaw was left hanging. You were unsure of what to say? Would she be upset? Would she kick you out? Before you could come up with any more anxiety-inducing thoughts, Rumi had chosen to interrupt you before you had gone any further. 

“Why’re you still here? I thought I made it clear that I wanted to be alone. Do you not know how to use your head?” she sassed, moving around the coffee table to walk towards the kitchen. While she was in the kitchen, you remained glued to the couch. Appalled at the words that had just exited her mouth. 

“I-I” you stuttered, unable to formulate a proper response under her piercing gaze from where she stood in the kitchen. 

“What? Are you just going to stutter and babble like a dumbass? I asked you if you could use your head or not. I’m not sure how clear I could have made this, but I did not want to see you today. I had a shitty mission and all I wanted to do was come home and relax. Instead, I come home to you, doing God knows what in the kitchen! Have you no boundaries? Can your pea-sized brain even comprehend boundaries?” she mocked, harsh words spouting from her mouth as if her mouth was a fountain of curses. “Fucking idiot” she mumbled under her breath. 

You wanted to cry. This time, you had a good reason. You hadn’t expected Rumi to be this upset with you. You had good intentions but you didn’t mean to overstep. You had only wanted to let her know that you had missed her. 

You nodded, opting to stare at your hands that were neatly folded in your lap instead of defending yourself. You probably deserved this anyways. It would be over soon, you just had to suck it up and tough it out. You did put yourself in this situation in the first place. 

“Nothing to say? You’re dumber than I thought” she hissed. 

“You’re going too far Rumi-san. I never intended to step over any boundaries. I was already here before you texted me because I wanted to make sure that you could easily relax when you got home. I wanted to cook for you and take care of you—“ you cried, your tears finally sliding down your cheeks “—I didn’t mean to overstep. But you insulting my intelligence and my mannerisms is too far. You’re being disrespectful and I don’t like that. Don’t take your anger out on me” you scolded, staring at her with such an intense and almost hateful gaze.

You could never hate Rumi, but the words she had spoken to you were something that you were going to remember for the rest of your life, you knew that this would haunt you forever and probably give you nightmares. 

Her face faltered. Your words had finally been processed in her head. Sometimes Rumi acted before thinking. It was one of her lesser traits but you grew to love it anyway. 

It was quite surprising how you were able to defend yourself without bursting into tears, probably because this was the one person whom you had never expected to blow upon you--to take their anger out on you. 

“If you never liked me, then why did you lead me on? What was the whole point of this? You wasted my time, and yours as well” You spat, finally allowing your tears to cascade down your cheeks. “You are a horrible person Usagiyama Rumi.” you spat with venom before taking the rest of your things and walking past her, stopping at the door to say “Delete my number”

You understood that you had done something wrong, but the fact that she had degraded you and insulted you was just immature. You wiped the tears off of your face, upset at the fact that she thought that was okay. Had she always thought this way? Was she just playing you? Your mind was just running amok and you didn’t have anyone to calm you down. 

Luckily, you had safely made it home, encountering no villains or criminals during your journey home. When you had gotten home, you had thrown yourself in bed, not even bothering to change your clothes or clean up. You cried yourself to sleep that night, your anxiety and insecurities weighing down on your shoulders. 

___

It had been a few days after your encounter with Rumi. You had muted her texts and calls, not having the heart to block her and fully eliminate her from your life just yet. You sighed once more, picking the rest of the carrots and taking them back inside to wash. It was almost time to open up the store. 

It had been quite a rough week, you spent most of your week crying, thus resulting in red puffy eyes. It still hurt to touch or rub them. You probably looked stupid, and it was probably noticed that you had been crying. 

You chose to wear glasses today, hoping that it would hide your tired and puffy eyes, not wanting your customers to worry about your wellbeing, especially Ms. Takeshi. She was quite old and you did not need her to worry about you as if you were one of her children, of course, you thought of her as a mom but you didn’t wanna burden her with your problems. 

Hopefully, today will be a better day for you and your fruits and vegetables. 

___

“She’s not answering me Keigo! I’m getting nervous!” Rumi whined, feeling slightly queasy.     

“She probably blocked you” he laughed, finding some amusement in his friend's pain. It was quite sadistic but this was Keigo we’re talking about. It wasn’t rare to see him finding amusement in fucked up things. It was just how he worked. 

“But my texts are still going in! I keep trying to apologize but she keeps ignoring me” she whined, flopping on her back and tossing her phone away from her. They were both currently on patrol, sitting atop of a building somewhere in the city. Both of them were currently situated on top of the building a few buildings away from your shop, your little building of establishment visible. 

“If you did that to me, ridiculed and degraded me, you would never hear from me again. I’m not surprised by her actions Rumi. She was a great girl and sorry to say it, but you fucked up. Real bad.” he continued, wanting his companion to realize how badly she had fucked up. 

“You don’t have to tell me okay?” she grumbled, starting to feel irritation seep into her veins while her supposed friend continued to bring up her mistakes. 

“Yeah, but you still gotta apologize anyways” he blew a piece of flyaway hair out of his face before continuing. “Why’d you do that anyway? Were you just leading her on or something? Cuz that’s mean” Keigo teased, adding more salt to her open wound. 

“I-I was frustrated. One of the younger heroes got killed. A bunch of civilians too. I felt so fucking useless. I was useless. I didn’t save anyone. I may have kicked ass, but that’s not what being a hero is all about. Being a hero is about saving as many lives as you can. I saved nobodies. I just wanted to be alone and I told her that, but I guess she didn’t see. When I saw her at my place, I just left her for a while. I didn’t talk to her--” she sighed. 

“Then I came out and she was just sitting on the couch. I don’t know what overcame me. I just lost it. What I did wasn’t right and I have to earn her forgiveness, but I’m not even sure she’ll let me. I hurt her so fucking bad Keigo” she sighed, placing her arm on her face, shielding herself from Keigo’s pitying gaze. 

Keigo tsked before getting up, shaking his head in disapproval. “I got a plan for you bunny girl, don’t worry about it. Just make sure that you have something nice planned for tomorrow, and dress nice too. Just leave it to me. I’ll help ya. Believe it.”

“Naruto?”

“Shut up”

___

As you were exiting the shop, you encountered a familiar winged hero, stopping at the magnificent sight of his wings. “Hawks?” you squinted, almost thinking you were dreaming, fast asleep on top of the counter in your shop. 

“Hey birdy, how are ya?” he greeted, stepping a little closer to you. 

“I’m okay. I’m sorry, I’m closing the shop right now but if you want anything, I can open it back up? They won’t be as fresh as it’s already late, but I can fix them up with my quirk!” you explained, already digging for the key in your pocket. 

“Nah baby I’m okay, don’t worry about me. I was just wondering if I could take you out? Maybe for coffee?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck. You blushed. What did he want with you? Was he playing with you? Was this a ploy to get you back with Rumi when you hadn’t even established a proper relationship with her?

“O-Okay, I don’t mind” you stuttered, blushing at the fact that he wanted to take you out. This still must have been a play, but this was still the Pro-Hero Hawks! This was an opportunity you couldn’t miss due to your stubborn and prideful personality!

“Come here baby bird, we’re flying” he smiled, wrapping his arms around your waist before taking off, launching the both of you into the air. You screamed as you both flew up, not used to flying. 

“Um… Hawks-san... Why did you want to talk? I’ve never spoken to me before” you started, clutching his arm a little harder as he weaved the both of you through the city. “I’ll talk at the coffee shop okay? I promise.” he smiled.

You nodded, not wanting to pry any further as you didn’t want to overstep your boundaries once more. 

___

“Look, Rumi misses you kid.” he started, scratching the back of his head, mussing up his already wind-swept hair. “I KNEW IT!” you cried, slamming your frappuccino that he oh so kindly bought for you on the table, startling Hawks and the few customers in the joint. 

“I know she’s sorry. I’ve seen her. She’s messed up right now. I know what she did was shitty but you gotta give her another chance kid.” he nearly begged, grasping at your hands. You scowled. How dare he? What did he know? 

”Is that supposed to make me pity her? She knows what she did. And, with all due respect, you shouldn't even be trying to apologize for her in the first place, Hawks-san” you seethed, letting go of his hands and balling yours into fists. You were irritated. 

”Look, I know how badly she fucked up. If it was me, I wouldn't even waste my time with her. But that's me, and this is you. I know you’re in love with her baby bird. Please don't give up on her just because of one fight. All couples fight and all couples are toxic in their own ways. You just have to communicate.” he smiled. 

”F-Fine! But… Please don't mention my feelings for her! That's just embarrassing!” you yelled, hiding your heating face into the palms of your hand. Hawks smiled again before getting up, beckoning for you to follow him. 

Hawks was quite surprised at your willingness to accompany him to meet Rumi. he expected you to be either hesitant or just reject his proposal and leave Rumi in the dust. He smiled once more, you had strong feelings for her, that was a guarantee. 

But, it was now or never. 

Hawks had flown the both of you on top of this building a few ways away from your shop. Your shop was actually visible from here! As Hawks set you down, he motioned for you to turn around, you obeyed, only to see Rumi standing there, holding a bouquet of white orchids. You recognized them as the ‘I’m sorry flowers’. You scoffed. Did she think you were going to be bought by flowers? 

Maybe. 

You felt your cheeks heating up at the sight of Rumi. She still wore her normal clothes, but for some reason, she looks even more attractive than she did before. Of course, she was attractive but it felt as if her attractiveness doubled. Or was that just because you haven’t seen her for some time? People did say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. 

Rumi approached you before trying to nudge the flowers in your hands. You reluctantly took them, not wanting to rub any more salt onto her wounds. You knew that what she had done was wrong and disrespectful, but you understood that sometimes people snapped. Anger was a human emotion, though she just didn't deal with it very well.  

“I’m sorry carrot. I disrespected you and called you names. I made fun of your intelligence even though you’re one of the smartest, prettiest, and most creative people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. I know that I can’t make excuses, but I know what I can do is try my best to get you to forgive me and regain your trust” she softly spoke, staring lovingly into your eyes. 

You felt tears well up in your eyes. You knew she was sorry, but you still felt hurt by her words. She may have just said it out of anger and to hurt you, but it still hurt. There was the intention with her words. You knew and felt it. You knew that you would be able to forgive her but when things like this happened, it turned you off. 

Though, this case is special. You should’ve checked your phone and asked for permission to go inside her home in the first place. Your fault may not have been as serious or as severe as hers, but you weren’t going to let her shoulder all of the blame. 

You placed the flowers down on the floor, resulting in you worrying Rumi in the process. Were you going to leave? Did you not accept her apology? Did you hate her? Did you never want to see her again? Were you ever going to forgive her? Rumi could feel her heartbeat pounding in her ears, anxiety bubbling up inside her. She was suddenly overcome with an urge to hurl. Before she could even gag, you had already thrown yourself in her arms, wrapping your arms around your neck whilst your legs did the same to her waist. 

“I accept your apology! I’m sorry too! I didn’t mean to ignore my texts! Please take me back! I love you so much bun bun!” you sobbed, grasping her even tighter, unaware of what you had just spoken. You heard Rumi let out a laugh of disbelief. 

She pulled away to gaze at your crying face, feeling herself fall even harder for the crybaby right in front of her. She smiled before slamming her lips against yours, quickly dipping her tongue inside of your mouth. Your eyes widened at the surprise kiss before you slowly melted into it, using your tongue to caress hers, pulling her in even further into you. 

As you and Rumi made out, Hawks stood there. He literally just stood there. “H-Hey Rumi! I thought you said I would be eating dinner with you guys” he tried to gain their attention, even sending some of his feathers to them, trying to separate them from each other. 

But, Rumi just shooed him away, leaving Hawks to sadly walk away. As Hawks flew off of the building, his one thought was ‘when will I meet my someone?’. He sighed and continued his flight home. He would meet his soulmate one day. That was for sure. 

“Rumi, do you love me back?” you asked, wanting to hear it come from her mouth. She smiled, caressing the soft skin of your cheeks. “I do carrot. I really do” she smiled, leaning in for another kiss. “Why did you choose to bring me up here though? We could have just gone to your apartment” you tilted your head, resulting in Rumi’s heart skipping a beat. 

“Well, I’ve actually known you for a while. There was a time where I was patrolling here and I saw you walking home, it was already late so I wanted to keep an eye out for you and make sure you were safe. I saw you reviving all the dead plants you passed by, even growing some berries on the shrubbery. I just thought you were so interesting, but I didn't want to be a stalker so I let you go. Then a few days later, I get thrown inside your shop. What a coincidence huh?” she laughed. 

“You’re such a simp bun” you teased, pinching her soft chubby cheeks. 

“Oh! That reminds me, I got you something!” she revealed a small box before handing it to you. It was quite heavy. You opened it, only to find out that it was a bunny! Rumi had gotten you a bunny! How ironic. You scooped it out of the box before placing the bunny in your arms, feeling your bottom lip tremble at the adorable site of the bunny. 

“Do you like it?” she queried, anxious to find out. 

“I love it! I’m gonna name them Hawks!”

“E-Eh? Why!? Why not after me? Hey! Wait! Don’t use your vines to escape! Answer me!” 

___

“Rumi! Where do I smash this in?” you asked, wondering where the hammer was. “Baby carrot, that’s a screw, you can’t use a hammer, we need a drill,” she informed you, carefully taking the hammer out of your dangerous hands. 

“Why’d I have to get such a big closet anyways” you grumbled, sitting on the ground with a pout, hating how useless you were right now. “Because you ran out of snack space. It’s okay. My dad taught me how to build stuff, also this is from IKEA so it’s easy to follow” she bragged, smirking at your sulking figure. 

“Can you hand me the door? We can attach it now. Don’t worry, we’re almost done baby, I promise” she smiled, ruffling the top of your hair. You grumbled about not liking her messing your hair up before reluctantly getting up to fetch the door for your lovely girlfriend. Has this door always been so big and heavy?

You squatted and wrapped your arms around the door, grunting as you tried to pick it up. You succeeded but lost your balance, your legs locking into place as you fell backwards, the door landing on top of you and smashing into your forehead. “HELP!” you cried as you were pinned under the door.

Rumi came running in, thinking you had hammered a nail through your own foot, only to find you on the floor, under a cabinet door. She snickered as your limbs wiggled. 

“I guess you can say you look… a-door-able HAHAHA!”

“Haha. Please help, my lungs are being crushed”

“OH SHIT”

© katsukisbimbo 2020 — all rights reserved. please refrain from modifying, translating, reposting of any kind. plagiarism will NOT be tolerated. please be kind and enjoy!

[nightblink]

Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters Eleven and Twelve

Chapter Eleven – The Rift

Oh no the Blackthorn has Plate now. As if he weren't an unstoppable juggernaut already.

….of course he kicked the guy off a cliff. That's just as Extra ™ as I should have expected from him.

Calm? Calm? Gavilar's right, Sadeas, there's something of that chained axehound in all the Kholins, apparent even down through to the next generation.

He's associating Shardplate-power with the Thrill, and I'm still not sure how accurate a comparison that may be, since it's not yet been revealed what exactly the Plate is (though I am particular to the Shardplate-is-a-Radiant's-manifested-spiritweb theory)

With Dalinar like he is now, it's no wonder Navani turned him down in favor of Gavilar. Presenting him as a respectable arranged-marriage partner would be difficult even with the benefit of alliances and rank he'd bring! Still, his single-ness is a bargaining chip for Gavilar to use as best he can…

“Fuck off, I'm the barbarian, you're the Face, do your damn job and don't expect me to pull good Charisma rolls.”

Drunk during battle briefings? Of all the times I expected young!Dalinar to be sober, that was highest on the list. If I wasn't all but certain before that he'd been an alcoholic, that'd definitely be another point in favour.

Aaaaand, there goes Gavilar. Sadeas, somehow you are the Only Sane Man in this group. The other two… well, they're Kholins.

This scene is beautifully visible in the mind's eye - Dalinar dodging ballista bolts, bounding and hefting himself up the wall, great swings unimpeded, the three of them cutting through the defending forces like axehounds through cremlings

Again, the Blackthorn is fucking terrifying

...and then lands smack on his Plated ass

And then resumes being utterly terrifying, now helped along by Sadeas' warhammer. If he'd had both that one and his own… I'm getting flashes of a scene somewhat akin to the suicide stand in Reinhart's backstory video, only with more wholesale slaughter.

How much impact can Shardplate take before cracking or shattering. BrandoSando I want numbers, graphs, tables, and indication if Radiant Plate is any more durable than 'standard' Plate.

“Who put chicken feathers on their helms?” Coming at that from an Earth perspective makes that line even funnier

Teleb! Ahhh, hearing about you now only makes me sadder that we lost you last book.

And there it is. Oathbringer.

Too bad that Dalinar's an unstoppable force, and you sir, are no immovable object.

(!!! canon delineation of accents in the Alethi regions! EEEE)

Tanalan's got a point, Dalinar. You take care to trample and destroy and leave behind a smoking ruin. Right now, you really are monstrous.

Covered in blood and cracked armor, eyes lit by the Thrill, a vision of death incarnate.

The boy. Does he haunt your nightmares, Dalinar?

Kadash. Is this the battle that broke his resolve as a soldier?After what we've read, I can't fault him in the slightest. That wasn't just a massacre, it was destruction. Still, it seems pretty par for the course for Gavilar's forces. And he didn't seem overly bothered? But I thought he said he left after the battle at the Rift...

Shame? You manage to feel that, now that the Thrill's worn off? What part of that bloody day managed to pierce a sliver of regret into your heart?

Gavilar at least is less bloodthirsty, though was he ever as bad as you?

Oathbringer was the Sunmaker's? WUT

I already have What Did You Do in the War, Dad? on a Kholin playlist and suddenly it's become just that much more relevant with that last line of the chapter.

Chapter Twelve – Negotiations

It must be such a tiny yet strange shift in perspective, having never known windows facing east before.

COME ON STORMFATHER ANSWER THE QUESTION. WHAT HAPPENED AT THE RECREANCE.

….okay, yeah, that was a stinging comeback, granted.

The emperor? OOH DO WE GET TO SEE GAWX AGAIN. LIFT?

Oooo, a meeting chamber that was designed to accommodate the spren as well? Ahhhh, that's too cool! And it means the old Orders must have been able to see each others' spren? Tbh I can't imagine Syl sitting still on one of those pedestals for more than two seconds

Navani with her shoes off

GAAAAWX

Actually, the Azish government is sort of the opposite of a mess, Dalinar – they just love their paperwork and red tape. Alethkar's barely-monarchy with its divided association of warlords who somehow deign to work together even part of the time? Now that's a mess.

I'm happy that Dalinar's finding love again. It's so strange to see the juxtaposition between him now and the younger him that Navani turned down (and we can all see why).

“Highness” - that's the first time we've heard that title here, isn't it? I'm so used to “Brightness” and “Brightlord” now that it stands out as odd.

Oh Dalinar, you're as bad as Adolin – far too straightforward and Not Here for roundabout conversation when you're trying to make a point. Really though, did you just expect the Emperor of Azir to come out to this “ancient and beautiful city” and out of the seat of his power with all this turmoil going on? At the invite of an Alethi warlord? Honestly.

Negotiating? So… are the parshmen there controlled by Odium or not…?

This is sheer Azish polite deflection against Alethi arrogance and it's great

Dalinar is ready to flip a goddamn table, he's just not made for politicking

I LOVE THE THAYLEN QUEEN ALREADY

Hah, she knows you, Dalinar, that much is obvious. “you old brute. Quit spreading chull scat.” indeed.

“Her Majesty seems to be having a bad day.” and apparently speaks entirely in Snark when that happens.

Stole their ships? Stole their ships? The parshmen knew how to sail and apply that sailing knowledge? Yeah, no fucking kidding you don't know near enough about these Voidbringers

“We speak again their ancient oaths, and bind the Surges of nature to us.” - aka we have powers now and they involve bending physics to out will, so You Will Listen. [sighs] Talk about a warlord Highprince through and through…

Oooo, are you thinking of giving someone the Honorblade, Dals?

That's either an excellent idea or a fucking terrible one.

Well, that went about as well as it could have. Dalinar may have been holding out hope that the monarchs would be immediately willing to come to his side, or at least meet with him, but there's no way that was going to happen so early.

[winces] Oh, Elhokar, lurking around like you've been banished from your own throne room…

Which is entirely the point. This conversation has been a long time in coming.

“Perhaps… perhaps I'm a fine king.” !!! That is more than I ever expected Elhokar to say out loud, especially after that conversation with Kaladin in the last book! And he's still going, on a roll, what's he-

…..well then

This is actually a very reasonable arrangement. Dalinar is going to need an authority separate from Alethkar, especially if he's going to be ordering (or trying to order) the monarchs of all the other kingdoms around like he does Elhokar. It's a whole new level of organization, a global one, and that necessitates a new station.

Dalinar, Highking of Urithiru and the Shattered Plains

Oh thank the Heralds and Elhokar's sense, they're finally going to find out what's happening in Kholinar!

RADIANT STRIKE TEAM. I nominate Shallan and Renarin.

Ahhh, he gets gloryspen, Elhokar needed this. It's a weight off of his shoulders, a relief to finally confront Dalinar about this, and then he gets to go and do what he believes a king should, after all this time feeling usurped. He so very needed this.

“The hero, preferably.” ELHOKAR, YOU FANBOY

Dalinar is confused and oblivious and Elhokar is crushing on Kaladin so hard

So hard

Elhokar you are not straight at all

HOLY SHIT ANOTHER RADIANT?! WITH TARAVANGIAN?!

Dalinar. Dalinar, your shitty Insight roll is failing you yet again.

[go-redgirl]

Bill de Blasio on Hanukkah Attack: Trump’s ‘Hateful Speech’ Emboldened Violent Forces.

On Sunday broadcast of MSNBC’s “Weekends,” New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio commented on five people being stabbed in an attack at a synagogue in New York’s Rockland County.

De Blasio said, “For the last three years in this country the forces of hate have been unleashed, and we see more and more violence associated with those hateful impulses. Some of it organized and premeditated. The uptick in hate crimes in this city has led the NYPD to recognize we’ve got to get under the skin of these trends and see if they can disrupt them.”

He continued, “We’ve also known for years that there are white supremacists forces that are organizing to do violence. We know about the militias in some parts of the country. They’ve targeted law enforcement. These right-wing militias have targeted law enforcement for years in this country. Unfortunately, that trend is growing, that form of extremism. We’ve got to be able to track it and disrupt it in a way that, honestly, we didn’t face before in the city, nor much of the country. But let’s be honest, the last three years everything has changed. Once hate gets normalized, it spreads like wildfire, and it takes a more violent form, and we’ve got to stop it now before we end up making the wrong kind of history.”

He added, “It’s not a time for a partisan discussion, but it is a time to say some of the most hateful speech is emanating from Washington, D.C. What we need our president to do is be a unifier, a calming positive voice, reminding us of what we have in common as Americans. That’s what presidents have done for generations. We’ve missed that. 

And the hateful speech even if it’s not inciting specific violence, let’s face it, we have seen these violent forces emboldened. We saw it in Charlottesville. We’ve seen it all over the country. And we’ve got to be honest about it without falling into a partisan battle to say something is different in recent years. I’ll be the first to say there were other problems before that. There were campus shootings and other horrible things, but the connection to racial and ethnic motivation, that has been growing in the last few years, and that’s what we’ve got to stop.”

READ MORE STORIES ABOUT:

Clips Politics Bill de Blasio Donald Trump Hanukkah

_______________________________________________________________________

INDIVIDUALS/COMMENTS/POSTS:

Jeffrey Dodd 

The only idiots dumber than this ass are the people who actually believe him.

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John Truman Paul Gerst • 4 hours ago

Disgusting comment by DeBlasio.

And such a lie.

And such a lie.

These kids are #TeamFarrakhan #TeamObama

The outbreak of NYC crime has nothing to do with "white."

Dems want to turn "white' into a synonym for "enemy."

Nothing more racist than that.

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Dave W John Truman •

This year its become open warfare against the police. For deblasio to blame white supremists? No wonder NYPD turns their back on him

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C C Dave W • 4 hours ago 

As ususal a liberal leader is passing the buck on his own failed policies. DeBlasio is a disgrace and an embarrasment to his city. That his constituents would vote this clown into office speaks volumes about their IGNORANCE. Trump has it right----liberal voters are LOW IQ!!!!

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Trump Train aka Honey Badger C C • 4 hours ago

Racist 0bama created this he put targets on the backs of our protectors. Just a quick look at the homicides in Baltimore, Chicago and other D-Rat cities tells you everything you need to know about criminal democrat run cities. DeBlasio should be arrested for inciting racist hate against 63 million Trump supporters. When they blame Trump they blame US.

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Schrödinger's cat Trump Train aka Honey Badger 

The person who is running NYC so badly is Blaming Someone Else (BSE mad cow disease !!!)

That is how Democrats roll !!!

MAGA 2020

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noman Schrödinger's cat • 4 hours ago

Why not? Newsom is blaming the crap on SF streets on--Trump.

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gman noman • 3 hours ago • edited

It looks like Bill de Blasio blames everybody but himself for the problems in his own City.

Sounds like your typical Democrat. White supremacy? Was that attacker in New City wearing blackface? Did I miss something? LOL

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jordanminn gman • 3 hours ago

Let me get this straight..........

President Trump is the most pro-Jewish President...........

EVER...........

yet he is to blame for Dem anti-Semitism???

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Deplorable_Shadow_Ax jordanminn • 3 hours ago 

"It's not a time for a partisan discussion..." ...He says right after engaging in a partisan attack against President Trump and his supporters. I would say that the hypocrisy is stunning, except that it is the norm for Democrats these days. Constantly accusing us of what they, themselves are doing. Smh.

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Spock Deplorable_Shadow_Ax • 3 hours ago • edited

Democrats are some serious projecting sick fooks. The 180% off party.

Calling good evil and evil good. What shall it profit a man to gain the world only to lose his soul? (Paraphrased from bible.)

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Bret Rekcah Spock • 2 hours ago

All the antisemitism I read or see about are from democrats or leftists. They hate Israel. As Levin says as well, there are many self hating jewish people in this country.

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Spock Bret Rekcah • 2 hours ago • edited

0bama, the most un-American American president, ever, was "community-organizing" in Israel to prevent Benjamin Netanyahu's (A clear-headed, sane patriotic leader) re-election

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Nick Danger Sway Snub • 2 hours ago • edited

Pathalogical liars De Blasio and A. Cuomo are both blaming Trump's rhetoric. In fact, real actions are to blame. Allowing more Muslim refugees in NYC, bail reform, hamstring the police, and general, albeit typical, Dem incompetence. These two are cockroaches trying to cover their own stupid policies with blatant lies.

PS: There is an article out today noting that NYC is no longer safe for business. Good job Dem's.

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Silence DoGood Bret Rekcah • 2 hours ago • edited

Amazing. The Marxist Democrats are so good at blaming the consequences of their own dysfunction on to Republicans. Notice how Democrats NEVER take responsibility for problems that have long existed in cities and states they have LONG run!

Constantly pawning the blame off. They are champion liars, and Masters of Deceit.

It's funny, because they are Socialists, make no mistake about it, and another Socialist, Hitler, touched off World War 2 with a false flag at Gleiwitz.

I'm convinced the left is planning a false flag event, as they are terrified of Trump winning in 2020.

https://www.historyhit.com/...

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L5P Silence DoGood • an hour ago

Democrats are so good at blaming the consequences of their own dysfunction on to Republicans. Notice how Democrats NEVER take responsibility for problems that have long existed in cities and states they have LONG run! Democrat solution: cut back on arresting perps in the name egalitarianism until the.....

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OPINION:   Bill de Blasio Is The Mayor Of New York, And Its his Responsibility As Mayor To Do His Own Job As Mayor.  

Stop Trying To Blame The President Of The United States For Your ‘Lazy’ Do Nothing Job.  Bill de Blasio Is A ‘Loser’ By All Definition.  And He Has The Poorest ‘Rating’ Of Any Mayor In This Country.  

He Need To Be Voted Out Immediately.   Don’t Blame President Trump For Your Own Incompetence.  Bill de Blasio Is A ‘Lazy’ Rat And One Of The Worst Mayors New York Has Ever Elected.  He Has Nothing To Show For Any Progress In New York That He Had Done. 

 Bill de Blasio Performance Has Been Rated As F-.  Thats The Lowest Anyone Can Get.   Every Low Life In This Country That Hasn’t Done Anything For Their City Or State Is Trying To Blame The President.  Well Its Not Going To Work.  

You Just Need To Get  Up Off Of Your ‘lazy A** And Do Your Own Job. Many Need To Ask Themseleves The ‘Millon Dollar’ Question.  What  Were You Doing Before Donald J. Trump Was Elected President?  

The Answer Is ‘Nothing’ But Wasting Tax Payers Money. And, The Fact Is, You Are Still Not Doing Anything Positive For Your Own State.

Let The Truth Be Told!

[enemymine2000]

SPN: Thoughts about 12x14 and 12x15

A lot of “Ah, hell, really? Not again?”-feelings here at first. But then my brain started to dig deeper.

We – the casual viewer – are meant to take things at face value. We are meant to believe that Sam genuinely switched sides and is now working on Dean to do too. We are meant to believe Ketch's seductions of the latter and his mindless enjoyment of hunting with Lucille (of all things).

But we – the not quite so casual viewer – know better.

We know, that Dean is more than a mindless hunter drone, whose only interests are sexual conquests, booze and rides. We know that Dean is able to hack with the best of them (R.I.P. Charlie!), so we know he can easily disprove Sam's claim of a new “find hunts”-app just because of that.

Also we know that Dean is a lying liar who lies professionally and as such can easily spot another liar, especially when the other is Sam, who can't lie his way out of a wet paper bag even when his life depends on it. The only exception being when Sam was soulless, because no conscience to rat him out.

A big hint to that effect is Dean's very on point attitude to lying to their victim of the week about the supernatural. It is a surrogate war. “Don't lie to her, especially not that clumsy” basically means “Don't lie to me, you know I can tell”.

And never forget the much discussed shampoo-line. Dean basically tells it to Sam's face: “I know your secrets!” But also: “Wash this gore from me and I am more than you can see.”

Which is a continuation of the previous episode and Ketch's seduction, that never was.

Yes, psychopath Ketch believes it to be, but Dean – and thus we – know better. Dean might have been hungry for a hunt, but he was not hungry for killing just to kill things. Very sadistically in Ketch's case. Because Dean is more than meets the eye and makes it into BMOL files.

Dean is the guy tasked with keeping the balance on this planet by God himself and he is in a place in his life, where he can accept that. Shown in the last episode with placing him smack dab in the middle of his “love triangle”, so basically between heaven and hell.

He the human, who had been monster and demon, between the demonic ex and the angelic whatever-to-be and managing the balance.

The King of Hell, who basically fled from his domain, the somewhat fallen angel, who goes to Heaven to talk it out with his hateful brethren, and the human, who holds it all together. Who can forgive and forget no matter who, as long as it is sincere. Who will hunt you down if you don't mean it.

I mean, Crowley is basically just still alive, because Dean was able to look beyond and see his reasons.

Crowley remains a demon at his core – no matter his sudden affinity for human emotions – so by old hunter's codex he is nonredeemable and to be put down. But he always acted on a codex on his own, demonic though it was, to uphold balance. Crowley only took what hell earned rightfully and when he stepped beyond that - *cough* Purgatory *cough* - he only did so in accordance with Heaven.

When Dean was a practically unbeatable weapon in Crowley's arsenal, he never misused him. Which, summer of love or not, is something one would not expect from the actual ruler of all things evil.

Cas in turn – well, one could argue, that he only truly came alive through Dean. Yes, he technically “was” for bilions of years, but being and being alive are two very distinct different things.

Castiel, angel of the Lord, was a warrior and only that. His brethren were his only true contact throughout his whole existence and they used him to further their respective agendas. One of which was raising the Righteous Man from Hell.

Cas was born the day his grace touched Dean's soul and has been reborn (sometimes quite literally, which is more than even Lucifer can say) ever since, whenever faced with a choice of his own.

Also still alive because of Dean, because if it wasn't for that pretty insistent human being Cas' would have guilt-tripped himself into oblivion.

If it were for the BMOL all three would need to be disposed off. They are monsters without exception and Ketch would kill each of them without a second thought.

That is something Sam still needs to truly grasp. Also that he would be on that list of monsters too, if he was not so damn useful as a hunter now. That with him being one of Azazel's chosen.

BTW, whatever happened to that? We got that flashback this season, but only with Sam as an unreliable narrator.

Has he lost his psychic powers completely? Or are they just dormant?

One could argue Gadreel healing Sam after the trials would purge that last remants of impurity from his system, but then Gadreel never finished the job and Sam was left to heal naturally after expelling the angel from his body. Not to forget that of the brothers Sam still has the better affinity with witch craft and spell work. (Where exactly lies the distinction?)

So, yes, Sam cozied up with BMOL. But he did so, because he could see how utterly lacking they are and his mother's life was literally at stake.

Dean goes along with it, because he knows there are things Sam is not telling and before he does not get the whole story, he will trust his brother. At the same time he knows his future will not be with the BMOL, because what they already had done to him/his family is already nonredeemable in his eyes.

So while he waits for the second shoe to drop he is looking out for a way to get his mother and brother to safety from the subsequential fall-out.

So, what else? Crowley has Lucifer utterly trapped. I knew as much when he told Lucifer to his face that they had his vessel rebuild from scratch.

Yes, the chains were a nice rustic touch, but please, we are talking archangel here! Currently the most powerful being on this planet and I'm supposed to believe he is held only by some angel-binding chains? Classic subterfuge.

I can't believe Crowley truly wants the nephilim torn apart. Least to torture Lucifer. Yes, Lucifer has been mean to our resident King of Hell, but if Crowley truly would have wanted the nephilim, he would have had Kelly right there, when they expelled Lucifer from the president's body. He had the time to mess with the spell to send the archangel into his vessel, he would have had the time to snatch and grab his baby mama. Especially since he is not restricted by human means of transportation.

He might want the nephilim. But he will want it for the same reasons he wanted Amara. Power. A nephilim is so powerful that angels fear it and there is a decree not to create one (aka “The Sacred Oath”). Maybe this one even more so, since it was sired by the only (relatively sane) archangel left. One unaffected by the big fall – wings still intact and all (very nice for SPN to show us that much).

Yes, I don't doubt that Crowley wants to torture Lucifer, wants to humiliate him, wants to get even for what was done to him. But Crowley would not have become King of Hell, if he did not know better than to do something that probably will come back to bite him in the ass. Killing the actual devil's child is such a thing as long as Lucifer is still alive.

Since Crowley currently has no means – he destroyed the Lance of Michael and a lot of “Hands of God” were rendered useless last season and we know the Colt does not work – and plans – otherwise he would not have imprisoned Lucifer in his vessel – of disposing permanently of Hell's erstwhile ruler, he will not do such thing.

Remains Cas.

Last we have seen, he's back on his way to Heaven to talk to Joshua. That is if Kelvin had not lied in that regard. I for one don't trust the guy, because angels are dicks and they have some very big issues with Cas.

But then the argument of him having the most field experience is legit. No one of the Heavenly Host but Cas – apart from maybe Lucifer (and Gabriel, when he was still alive – I miss him!) - has ever wandered earth that much.

But his special kind of field experience is not really needed if it were only to find and dispose of Kelly, respectively her child. Angels have done similar things before and even taking into account that their numbers have dwindled and the top level bureaucrats are all but burnt wing marks on the ground now, they are still organized enough to manage a level 1 smiting. (Which probably is the most concentrated effort angels had to do ever since God left billions of years ago.)

We can not forget how truly deep the hatred of angel-kind runs towards Cas. Even Hanna had been turned against him. Because they all believe him not only to be responsible for so many deaths of their kind and the closing for Heaven's gates, but because of his love for… humanity.

Basically every angel we have ever met apart from Cas himself has acknowledged that special love for… humanity. (Well, Cas did too just a couple of episodes ago, but we're still waiting on the answer.)

Loving humanity however is not the problem. That is what God commanded of all of his angels. That is what ultimately triggered the Mark of Cain on Lucifer's arm and thus his fall. Angels are meant and programmed to love humanity.

They are however forbidden from laying with humankind and thus to love/make love to one human. The Sacred Oath. Cas has been accused of having broken it practically ever since the Apocalypse.

Cas, being the angel/human hybrid that he has become, he can now see beyond such orders, such oaths. His brethren can not.

As seen with Ishim – hypocrite that he was – they demand them to be followed no matter what. And as Cas himself has once done, they simply do. They don't know choice for themselves.

So whatever Joshua might have to say to Cas, it can't be good. Unless Joshua still talks with God, who we know to have taken a special interest in this particular angel, but then Chuck is on his sibling retreat and very hands-off and, well, Chuck. And Chuck is kind of a dick.

I saw some speculating that this will be the build-up for Cas' ultimate choice for humanity, turning human himself, giving up his grace, etc.

I still hold out hope for my hypothesis of Cas becoming nephilim per choice. Since the show is no longer about black and white, either or, but about balance.

Cas is the best of Heaven and earth combined, why take a part of him away and make him less than that?

[uberchain]

Rewind 2017: Post-Thoughts

I flew back in from California a few days ago after the last stage of filming for Ready Up, and the first TF2 LAN of 2017. In the past live Team Fortress 2 events I have been privileged to have been flown out to - i55, Tip of the Hats 2015, DHW 2015, DHS 2016, i58, and Tip of the Hats 2016 - I’ve never felt post-LAN blues like the seventh event I’ve attended thus far. 

LAN, aside from a competition to see who is the best team out of all the teams competing in an equal playing ground, is a social gathering. A coming together of a community that has followed each other for a combined purpose. A forging of relationships with each other over a common passion, to know not simply players as players but players as people - as friends, as comrades, as partners, and as Redeye said: as family. This is something I would like to convey through Ready Up as we wrap up the filming stage and move forward into the editing stage from here on out. This is why me, Dashner, and Sideshow were flown out to Rewind.

Once it’s released, Ready Up may be my last major competitive TF2-related contribution. I’m in no rush to finish it, though. We’re going to take our time with it, most likely extending the date from early 2017 to late 2017 - we just want to make sure we do our best for our sponsor, the competitive community, and everyone who will watch. I am thankful for Dashner’s passion and knowledge for co-direction. I am thankful for Sideshow’s eloquence and confidence for co-interviewing. Both have taken time out of their jobs with OW for this.

I personally always want to show this community that they’re appreciated and loved, despite our differences and frustrations in how we view the same game we play. I work hard, because I feel like the community counts on me to deliver. I know I’m not obliged to do so, but I like to do so. I’ve been told numerous times that this in particular, this is not worth my energy. This is not worth my time for a community that in love is equal in hatred when you make a misstep. Some people have gone as far to tell me I’m clinically insane. These people could be right for all I care.

So what of my family then? The family one of the strongest figureheads in the esports community notices and praises fondly? When Dashner and I caught Redeye literally in the middle of ESL NY’s hallways amidst the tough and scary security, right outside the arena where the sound of matches bled out - standing in this hallway interviewing him then and there, we felt touched by his words. We were thankful for him remembering us past his stardom and status. Redeye has always tended to check in every now and again to smaller esports scenes, to see how they’re doing. It’s sweet and sincere, and knowing this was his nature made those words he gave us feel genuine to me.

ESA Rewind this last week was when I realized that I had said Ready Up would be my last major contribution to comp TF2. Like many others, bills are piling up. I owe debt. I’m rebuilding my design portfolio and figuring out the plan for 2017. There’s a lot of money I’ve invested into other future TF2-related projects I won’t ever see a return on from Valve or the TF2 community. I want to stay, but only if I can afford it (as do most sane people). As expected, the idea of never seeing my friends and family from here again is something I’m not readied up for.

Filming was wrapped on Friday after we arrived early for the European and Australian bootcamping and interviews, and B-roll was left to shoot on Saturday and Sunday, the actual game days. Dashner was manning the big guns for Ready Up (aka our expensive rentals), so I chose to focus on photo coverage for Teamfortress.tv. (There was a lack of photo coverage from i58 due to focus on Ready Up. I recruited Jasbutts and we went ham.) What I also chose to focus on was my international friends from Europe, and that’s when I got to learn more about Se7en.

Kaidus had approached me a while back to talk about his new organization and team he wanted to bring to America for Rewind, as well as future events and LANs. I recognized the Crowns champions, as well as my Full Tilt’s boys and the launching legend. He had named them Team Seven, a tongue-in-cheek response to the criticism Crowns Esports Club had faced back when Kaidus was more heavily involved in coaching it. 

I like the storyline FROYOTECH presented for this LAN’s victory: they came back from their 3rd Place slump at i58 and proved that they were still one of the strongest teams to be reckoned with. Habib’s mother was there, who kept asking Jasbutts about how the game worked as she spectated it, and finally watched her son win. Nursey has successfully shut up a good narrow-minded portion of the community and became the first female TF2 player to win an international LAN in the highest bracket. Paddie and Freestate finally became part of the FROYOTECH victory roster. 

As it usually goes, though, I root for the teams I’m asked to be involved with. This was on another level. I screamed my lungs out for Se7en. I knew their flaws and their criticisms. I didn’t care. It was like i55′s Ascent and i58′s Full Tilt. And some of these were Full Tilt. I liked Crowns way back then too. These were my boys. This was my team. I wanted them to win. This time, I knew their history and their players the most out of any team I had rooted for. European Prem TF2 was the scene I was watching the most at one point in my time here. FROYO got it in the end, and of course I didn’t want Se7en to lose, but I had a worse fear - I didn’t want them to leave. 

Again, coincidentally - Rewind was the seventh TF2 live event I flew out to. It might be the last TF2 live event I see them at too. I didn’t realize how much I actually gave a shit about this until it hit me, that this could be the last time I’d see them play TF2. It could be the last time I’d see them attend a LAN, or go pro in another game. CS:GO or OW, maybe? I don’t know, I want them all to keep going and not...disappear? Jasmine Tea is disbanding, one of them is going off to focus on school. That also hurt, it’s always amazing having the Australians at a TF2 LAN. Yet this one for Se7en, why? My colleagues & friends feel similarly, but it’s like why do we feel like that? People come and go all the time. And underneath it all, I’m just a fan who does more shit than I should out of my love for this game and this community. What worth is my opinion? 

Every time I run into Sideshow IRL, it’s uplifting to know he’s still around somewhere else. When we say our goodbyes, I usually make it a point to tell the dribbler, “let this not be the last time; we will see each other again”. It might be because we also cross paths in OW things, but it’s something I make a point to tell everybody in TF2 for my farewells, as an incentive. A promise. 

I went to Blizzcon. Aside from the interviews we got there, I’ve talked to the ex-TF2 pros who have fire re-lit in their eyes, who are being appreciated, rewarded, and shine on in OW. I can’t be upset. I too was treated very well by Blizzard while I was there, to the point of tears. I don’t want to be another one of those TF2 fans who wants to hold back somebody from moving on to other opportunities, or telling them not to quit. If it’s outside of their priorities, then I’m not important, and TF2 is not important. 

I understand more than ever after Blizzcon and Tip of the Hats when people need to go. There are other priorities in life. There are other things to pursue. This is why I remember telling him, “wherever your journeys may take you”. So why is it that - almost selfishly, as though I have rejected any concept of what I just learned about not holding people back, especially if I tell myself I have no significance to this player, this person I realized I ended up looking up to more than I thought - I wish I’d said, “please don’t leave yet”? 

And it went similarly for many other people that I realized that, how much I looked up to them as players and colleagues, then as friends and family - and it’s like...the idea I might never see these people represent again. That I might never see these people again. That sense of absolute finale, knowing that all things eventually come to an end; knowing that people that you are proud to say are part of your life, your passion, your hope, could be temporary due to the distances you might not be able to bridge...

That every farewell hug I shared, every departing Uber I waved at, even my own Uber I was escorted to by the last friend I’d see before my flight as he turned around and walked away while my car drove off - 

Fuck me, no. Not yet. It seems ridiculously melodramatic for real life. It’s almost laughable, the fact I haven’t learned. None of us have learned, to be honest. The idea of leaving for good, even on my end, never seeing those people again - I haven’t readied up for that at all. 

Rewind it all for me. Take me back, remind me of why we fight so hard to attend these things. Whether you’re a player, a former pro, a production crewmember, LAN organizer holy shit the LAN organizers, or a spectator. The post-LAN blues and the LAN high that just overwhelm any sense of practical reasoning you had. And then we end up going back when we thought we were out, and we don’t learn - because we love this game too much. We love each other too much. 

You desire the friendships and the relationships you’ve forged stronger together in the real world. Your heart aches to hear the laughter and see the smiles of the people you’ve befriended beyond the internet. You say shit like, “let this not be the last time, we’ll see each other again” so you can fight not just for the game, but for them. For your community. 

LAN, aside from a competition to see who is the best team out of all the teams competing in an equal playing ground, is a social gathering. A coming together of a community that has followed each other for a combined purpose. A forging of relationships with each other over a common passion, to know not simply players as players but players as people - as friends, as comrades, as partners, and as Redeye said: as family.

[cladeymoore]

Reliability Engineering at Coinbase

Why Reliability Engineering?

Why is Reliability Engineering relevant at a company like Coinbase? Why would we want to build a Reliability Engineering team?

“Our goal is to make Coinbase the most trusted and easiest to use digital currency exchange.”

-Brian Armstrong, Co-founder & CEO

It all comes back to what our CEO Brian Armstrong said about Coinbase wanting to be the most trusted. Our goal in the cryptocurrency industry is to create an open financial system for the world — and part of that requires us to build the most trusted digital currency exchange. In order to be the most trusted exchange, we need to be the most reliable. Being reliable is a competitive advantage in our industry, while being unreliable is a serious risk to our business.

Before you get too deep into this article, please note that we’re actively hiring great Reliability Engineers, so if any of this sounds interesting to you please head over to our Senior Reliability Engineer job posting here.

What is Reliability Engineering?

The mission of the Reliability Engineering team at Coinbase is:

“Help engineers design & keep their promises in production.”

The word “promise” in our mission statement is a reference to Promise Theory which was invented by Mark Burgess. While we use many of the principles from the Google SRE books, we found Promise Theory to be more human-friendly than the term “Service Level Objective” which is a bit jargon-y. Based on the investigations into safety and reliability by people like Sidney Dekker and companies such as Toyota (see the Toyota Way), we consider reliability to be ultimately a human challenge. For this reason we preferred to reference a concept which every human already understands — that of making and keeping promises.

Major differences between Reliability Engineering at Coinbase vs Site Reliability Engineering (SRE) at some other companies:

We are generalist software engineers first and foremost. We focus on solving challenges by writing better software rather than adding more and more humans to push buttons. Everyone on the team is a strong software engineer, working on multiple software systems in a variety of programming languages.

We do not have front-line pager responsibility. We are on-call for the systems that we ourselves own (e.g. the Coinbase observability stack), but we are not the first line of incident response for other teams. Service and product teams have their own pager rotations.

We like to apply the metaphor of ‘teaching a person to fish vs giving them a fish’ to how we operate — our mission is to “teach teams to fish” in terms of reliability. This is in contrast to “giving them a fish” by handling front-line pager duties on their behalf. Another way of putting it is that our goal is to up-level every engineering team at Coinbase to be self-sufficient in Reliability Engineering.

How do Reliability Engineers work?

One of the important things to realize about reliability engineering is that it is inherently cross-cutting throughout the organization. Reliability is not itself a functional silo — it is a value and a business output. Our customers are every single engineering team at Coinbase. Since we work with so many customers, we have defined different models of engagement to meet their needs:

Advisory. This is answering questions, or responding to ad-hoc requests without formal deliverables. For example responding to “Help me monitor/scale/improve my thing” questions in Slack, or jumping into production incidents to support responders.

Consulting. We often run structured reliability workshops and pairing sessions with other teams. In these engagements, we have a shared goal (in our case, OKR) with the team we’re consulting with — thus there is a measurable outcome. While consulting engagements are formal, they are typically part-time endeavours.

Embedding. Sometimes teams will need full-time reliability support from our engineers, and they request that we physically sit and work with them, participating in their standups, sprint plannings, etc. This is where we use embedding. Similar to Consulting, this work has a shared goal and measurable outcome (OKR) — the difference is the reliability engineer is a temporary (typically, one calendar quarter) member of the customer team.

Beyond the various ways we engage with customers, we follow a standard “agile” software engineering process. We have a weekly planning meeting to update our Kanban board, conduct monthly retrospectives and hold daily standups. Longer-term strategy and measurements are captured in quarterly OKRs which we derive from customer feedback and internal discussion.

Introducing the Coinbase Reliability Engineering Team

The Reliability Team was founded in 2018 with one engineer (Luke Demi) and myself (Niall O’Higgins) as manager. Since then, we’ve grown to 7 engineers and shipped a lot of improvements.

In the words of folks on the team, here are some accomplishments we can speak about publicly as well as impressions and experiences from working on reliability!

Luke Demi

After joining Coinbase in 2016, my initial efforts within the company focused on building self-service infrastructure for engineers. However in 2017 as interest in cryptocurrency surged, Coinbase began to experience outages across our systems. Solving these types of reliability problems excited me, so I dove in head first to get to the bottom of these issues.

We were able to survive 2017, but it was clear that in order to withstand future surges and provide a reliable experience for our customers we would need to make reliability a core component of the engineering culture at Coinbase.

I find the Reliability Team exciting because we’re able to both advise teams on best practices for choosing reliability indicators (Service Level Indicators AKA SLIs) and promises (AKA SLOs) as well as build the tools that let engineers understand the performance of their systems in production.

Maksym Naboka

I joined Coinbase in July 2018. Being the 3rd engineer on the Reliability Team was an amazing experience. There are so many things I love about the company and I’d like to highlight few of them:

An opportunity to work with / learn from smart and talented people.

Project ownership. An engineer on the Reliability Team owns a project all the way through from design to shipping.

Ability to contribute to Open Source.

Learn, learn and learn. Coinbase provides so many opportunities to learn new technology. It feels like we are utilizing every spare minute to learn new things! We have Lunch & Learn sessions with guests from leading technology companies, every engineer has an annual educational budget to go to conferences or take online classes.

Delicious meals on site :)

Amy Li

When I first joined the Reliability Team in November 2018, I was under the impression that I would be thrown into the deep end of blockchain — drowning in Bitcoin, Ethereum, and smart contracts. Colleagues also warned me of endless firefighting and nightmarish on-call rotations. Fortunately, this was not the case.

The Reliability Team doesn’t work with blockchains directly and aren’t the first ones being paged for every single incident. Each Coinbase team owns the daily operations of their specific products or services. This allows for distributed knowledge across the organization.

As a new college graduate I initially felt overwhelmed, but everyone on the team has been incredibly supportive and willing to share their knowledge. Within a month, Niall and I improved our incident management system by integrating it with JIRA. I wrote my first design document to further integrate PagerDuty with our incident management system and I am continually making incremental changes to our system.

One of the most important things I’ve learned is that working with amazing team members is priceless. The Reliability Team is a group of curious, empathetic, and intelligent individuals and there’s no other group I would rather be with for five days a week.

Paul Henry

The most interesting part of being on the Reliability Team for me is our high-level perspective across the organization. Since we are not tasked with handling day-to-day operations of any specific Coinbase product (Coinbase.com, Coinbase Pro, Coinbase Wallet, etc), we can focus on improving the ability for teams to observe and understand their systems. This means that teams can move faster, incidents are resolved quicker, and there’s a decentralization of knowledge across the organization.

Here’s some examples of improvements that I’ve contributed to over the past year:

Writing lightweight stats, tracing, and logging libraries for the various languages in use across the organization.

Contributing to “paved roads” for various languages and ensuring that developers have a good starting point for new services, with sane defaults.

Introducing new vendors (such as Datadog) to bring more dimensions of observability, unlocking new ways of monitoring systems.

Bringing a perspective of reliability to technology choices made by teams and helping them ask the right questions.

Contributing to our deployment tooling to integrate high level monitoring by default on all services.

Enabling the use of gRPC across the organization through client generation in various languages and integration into our AWS architecture. See blog post “gRPC to AWS Lambda: Is it Possible?”

In addition to shared tooling, we engage with many teams across the organization by running workshops, review sessions, and office hours.

Workshops are hands-on sessions that focus on topics like observability tooling and promise construction, within the context of that team’s services or problem domain.

Review sessions happen both early in the design process for services and later when they are nearing production. These reviews do not act as a gate or “green check mark” for teams, but instead make sure that they are asking the right questions and highlighting ways that the reliability team can level up teams across the organization.

Office hours are open time every week for any engineer to bring problems or feedback to our team by pairing with an engineer. Topics usually include: how to build effective monitors and dashboards, integrating tracing or metrics libraries, what database should I use for this particular problem, and more.

At the end of the day, my favorite part about the Reliability Team is the diverse set of engineers we have. The breadth and depth of knowledge shared by everyone is a great support structure for tackling a problem of any scale.

Jordan Sitkin

I have an unusual background for an infrastructure engineer. I studied graphic design in school and worked for the first half of my career as a designer. Joining the Reliability Team was, for me, the latest step in a long, ongoing journey away from the front end. I’ve really enjoyed the new challenges I’ve faced on this team and have been pleasantly surprised at how often my experience as a designer ends up being relevant here.

My favorite part about being on the Reliability Team is being close to where the excitement is happening across the company. The greatest need for reliability expertise is often around new product launches or new-found success of some existing product. We’ve been pursuing a new model of embedding reliability engineers in other teams where their expertise is needed most. I’m personally currently embedded in the Consumer team, which is responsible for Coinbase.com and the Coinbase mobile apps. I’ve enjoyed feeling close to the front lines of product development while still focusing on infrastructure.

Another rewarding aspect of being on the Reliability Team has been turning our work into conference talks. Over the past year I had the chance to speak at MongoDB World and QCon about designing load testing strategies. I had never given a talk before, so this was a great learning opportunity for me and I ended up having a lot of fun doing it.

Working on the Reliability Team is one of the most fun positions at Coinbase because we get to be a part of so many different initiatives and projects across the company. We’ve got a great diversity of expertise on the team. I’ve never learned so much so quickly.

Reliability Engineering and the Future

In the past year, our team has helped all of Coinbase build a culture of reliability in the following ways:

Moving the entire engineering team from a reactive stance on reliability (firefighting, etc.) to a proactive one (installing smoke detectors) with service level indicators and promises.

Providing a world-class observability stack comprised of three pillars — tracing, metrics and logs.

Designing and implementing high-performance infrastructure services.

We look forward to doing much more over the next year such as:

Building the serverless foundation to accelerate feature development.

Helping move to a service oriented architecture by building core infrastructure such as the service mesh.

Leveling up every single team in terms of performance engineering, quality and incident response.

If any of this sounds interesting to you please head over to our Senior Reliability Engineer job posting here.

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Reliability Engineering at Coinbase was originally published in The Coinbase Blog on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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