#(aka for those of you that are new here my life fell apart during the 2016–17 school year & i still havent been able to pick up the piece)

[lotussokka]

i dont think anything can ever compare to how i felt when trxye and the wild ep (and then blue neighbourhood) were first released. it felt so bizarre but also so fucking wonderful to hear a pop song where a man explicitly refers to his love interests with male pronouns. and even though that was at a point in my life where i was desperately trying to not be trans and avoiding thinking about my sexuality, it still felt like coming home

[starlightstevie]

fic recs / may 2021

Happy summer! I know I missed last month’s fic recs so hopefully I’ll make up for it with these brilliant fics. Hope you guys enjoy!

warm water by @xbuchananbarnes​ Thor x reader: Thor comes home to find his love.

*passionate & burning by @peachyteabuck Thor x reader: You’re busy with working from home, but Thor has other plans for the day.

but i just wanna hear your voice by @blackberrybucky Thor x reader: Thor comes back after they defeat Thanos and tries to make things right with you.

*all there’s left to do is run by spacelabrathor Dothraki!Thor x reader: Horse warlord Thor finds you a captive in a raid of a desert village and gives you a choice. Freedom by a quick death or taking his hand and going with him, to be his. You choose life, and with it, a husband who is wild and fierce and more than you could have ever imagined.

*summoned by @darklydeliciousdesires​ Old God!Thor x villager!reader: The buffet of offerings, all of which shall placate, appease and satiate every whim and desire of the gods is laid out and ready, you amongst them.

ships in the night by @sugardaddytonystark Pirate King!Thor x Dora Milaje mermaid!reader: When Thor, the infamous Pirate King, lays down anchor in Wakanda, the last thing you expect is for him to ask for aid from your own king. You volunteer your assistance, leaving the home you’ve always known to set sail with King Odinson and his crew.

*cut offs by @milaonthemoon Frank x reader: You get kidnapped and Frank has to get you out.

tired by @castawaybarnes​ Frank x reader: Keeping yourself awake waiting for Frank was getting easier once you got used to the bitterness of black coffee.

*ash painted lips by @sebbytrash Frank x reader: Frank is your lifeline, protecting you like only he can do but you harbour not-so-secret feelings for him that threaten to shake the foundation of this steady, necessary partnership.

scales of justice weigh the consequence by @inspiresimagine​ Frank x reader: the world is black and white until you find your soulmate. you’re a single mom in NYC accustomed to life as-is, but apparently, the universe has other plans. namely? frank castle.

*generosity by @pumpkin-stars Frank x reader: AKA: The five (or more) things Frank usually does when he fucks you, and the one time he does something different.

poltergeists for sidekicks by @bubble-tea-bunny​ Frank x reader: Frank’s lost count of the days he’s come home to you already fast asleep.

*frank + overstimulation by @honeychicana

*frank + rough sex by @sweeterthanthis​

*frank + breath play by sweeterthanthis

*frank + doggy style by @honeydulcewrites​

*frank + gun play by honeydulcewrites

*frank + gun play (2) by honeydulcewrites

*frank + gun play (3) by honeydulcewrites

*frank + overstimulation by honeydulcewrites

*frank coming home to you by honeydulcewrites

*untitled frank smut by @luciilferss​

*playing with frank’s hair by inspiresimagine

frank + praise by inspiresimagine

*frank putting you in a headlock while fucking you by @punani​

*nobody else but me by @allaboardthereadingrailroad​ Shane Walsh x reader: Shane knows exactly what you need.

the comet by @mcubabydotcom​ Steve x reader: You and Steve witness a once-in-a-lifetime celestial event.

*the punishment by ozarkthedog Nomad!Steve x reader: You disobeyed Steve and now you must make it up to him.

*headinthequinjet by xbuchananbarnes Steve x reader: Steve’s having a hard time breathing.

*shotgunning with chris by ozarkthedog

*cockwarming with chris by @buckyssimp​

*a teal crushed velvet ride by @ozarkthedog​ Chris x reader: You love Chris’s Teal Velvet Pants. He notices and decides to indulge you.

*don’t look away by ozarkthedog Chris x reader: Chris fucks you against a mirror.

*keep the heat by ozarkthedog Andy Barber x reader: Andy fucks you in the coat.

*i don’t work jobs (i am a job) by @peachyteabuck Andy x reader: Andy needs to teach you that “staying at home” doesn’t preclude a little thing called “work.”

*worst behaviour by buckyssimp Professor!Bucky x reader: Bucky notices you staring at him during class. 

*lipstick stain by @xbuchananbarnes​ Bucky x reader: Bucky could recognize that laugh anywhere.

bucky takes care of you by @buckyblues

*you better act like this dick belongs to you by buckyblues

*lazy day with bucky by buckyblues

*pegging bucky by buckyblues

*bucky tit fucking you by buckyblues

something new by @mxsamwilson​ Sam Wilson x Bucky Barnes: Fellas is it gay to receive an intimate haircut from your boy? (ft Bucky being hopelessly in love with Sam but too much of an idiot to tell him).

*the magic word by @whateveriwant Bucky x reader: Bucky agrees to try something you’ve always wanted to do with him, but only under the condition that a certain word be employed if need be.

warm by @revengingbarnes​ Bucky x reader: “The fire alarm in our building went off and you rushed out without a coat. Wanna share my blanket?”

patterns by @xbuchananbarnes Bucky x reader: Bucky plays with your hair.

pretending to not feel alone by blackberrybucky Bucky x reader: Bucky, hopeless romantic, meets you, committed cynic. What could go wrong?

*bucky’s first time in 70 years by @luciilferss

*fluorescent adolescent by @ohbuckie​ College!Bucky x reader: Bucky fucks you on his bedroom floor.

*it’s a cruel summer by blackberrybucky Bucky x reader: You and Bucky are friends with benefits, but what happens when you realize you want more?

*sex on legs by @navybrat817​ Bucky x reader: Bucky looks good in anything.

ride with me by @jurassicbarnes Detective!Bucky x Biker!reader: When his best friend forces him to third wheel on a road trip, Bucky doesn’t expect for it to become so eventful, let alone find something, or rather someone worth staying for.

*going live by @ritesofreverie​ Camboy!Bucky x reader: Your new neighbour looks familiar, where had you seen him before?

*stranded by @honeysucklesteve Dad’s best friend!Bucky x reader: When your car breaks down on the side of the road and your dad can’t come rescue you, he sends the next best thing.

if i could fly, i’d be coming right back home to you by blackberrybucky Sam x reader: Exile over, Sam comes home to you.

baby, i still see ya by blackberrybucky Sam x reader: Sam comes home, the future calling to him. He sees you again, and gets a little caught up in the past

*if you ever want to be in love by blackberrybucky Sam x reader: How your relationship with Sam falls apart and comes back together.

taller than me by @kaitsukibakugo Katsuki Bakugo x Izuku Midoriya: Katsuki has found love with someone who years ago he never would have expected. Now Deku is his husband and he’s noticed something else he never thought possible: Deku is taller than him.

*would you like to stay forever? by kaitsukibakugo Pro Hero!Kirishima Eijiro x reader: Sparring with Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro in his private gym at his home doesn't seem like a bad idea if you don't count the fact that you really, really like him.

how your bnha fave acts when they realize they’re in love by @inthorantine

*bnha love island headcannons by @doinmybesthere​

*first time bj headcannons by @shoutogepi

*the best pussy eater of mha by @dearestdynamight​

passing the night stars by @hoe-doroki Hitoshi Shinsou x reader: The party was neon and you needed darkness.

*let’s talk about deku’s hands by @rat-suki​

*waking up deku by spacelabrathor

*deku comes home after a late shift by doinmybesthere

*slow stroke king izuku by @sems-diarie​​

*champagne problems by @some-kindofgnome​ Katsuki Bakugou x reader: You were slipping between Bakugou’s fingers faster than ever now. Instead of letting it happen he clung to you even tighter. Instead of letting you go, instead of accepting that he’d driven this relationship into the fucking ground, he’d promised himself that he could still save it.

*presented by @tteokdoroki​ Dragon King!Katsuki x reader: On the twenty-first birthday of Katsuki Bakugou, an offering is made in his honour as he becomes chief of the dragons. Clans usually offer up sacrifices of berries or nuts, salts and fresh catches. But for those of Dargon’s blood, their offering is a mate... And that mate is you.

*domina by rat-suki Katsuki x reader: He’s just so hot when you get under his skin. You can’t possibly stop now.

*baby, i’m a haunted house by @ketslketslketsl​ Yakuza!Katsuki x reader: It’s been a long six months since you last saw him.

i’m a liability, get you wild, make you leave (i’m a little much for everyone) by @willowser Katsuki x reader: There’s no reason for Katsuki to be here. It’s all he can think, bitter, as he stares at the paint peeling from the door, exposing the wood grain underneath its thin coat. Old and distant, this house; too far from the city to make the trek worth it, for your job to make sense; too ancient to be lived in by the number 12 hero in Japan. If he closes his eyes, he can hear Lake Biwa from his position on your porch and the soft sway of the water almost calms down the storm that’s been building in him since he boarded the train, since he nearly snapped his phone in half.

*we are the foxes (and we run) by @spacelabrathor shoyo hinata x reader: After everything, the end of the world and the chaos and destruction that reigned after society fell, it takes a lot to surprise you. And yet, when you come to the edge of the pit, a gasp wrenches from you like someone gripped it in their fist and yanked. Laid out on the bed of leaves at the bottom of the pit is...something. Someone. Or, Hinata falls into reader’s pit trap after the end of the world. This is the story of how she pulls him out, drags him to her bunker, and they grow together. 

*dark priest!Obiwan Kenobi by @mandosmimi​

you’re the former babysitter of zemo’s son by @helahades​

*mando doesn’t realize how big his dick is by @cptnbvcks​​

[crhinge]

Breaking Down The Classic Rom-Com

I feel like I haven’t written a fun post in a hot sec so lets talk about one of my favorite subjects: Rom Coms

According to wikipedia, a Rom Com, also known as Romantic Comedy, is “a subgenre of comedy and slice-of-life fiction, focusing on lighthearted, humorous plot lines centered on romantic ideas, such as how true love is able to surmount most obstacles.” In the past, Romantic Comedies have also been called “Chick Flicks” but I think this is devaluing of both women and  the romantic comedy genre. 

The other day, I woke up to find that the most wholesome rom-com couple of all time reunited: Matty & Jenna (Aka Mark Ruffalo & Jennifer Garner). This got me thinking about the beauty of the Rom-Com and how unappreciated they can be. It has been years since we have seen a rom-com with the cultural impact of 13 Going on 30, and I would like to petition for more of them after a sad and painful year. 

I can already hear the millions (in my head this blog is extremely popular) of comments “What about To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before?!?” “What about The Kissing Booth?!?” And too that I say, "Good Riddance!” If you’re rating your rom coms on a TATBILB scale, or even WORSE The Kissing booth, I feel sorry for you. Truly I do. So let's dive into the best Rom Coms of all time, but first... 

What makes a Rom-Com good? Well let's start with a relatable as hell main character. I am talking a girl (sometimes guy), who has many flaws, but the audience can see themselves within her/him. Let's use Jenna Rink from 13 Going On 30 as an example. Well, she's literally a 13 year old in a 30 year olds body, but don’t we all still have a preteen hiding inside of all of us? She is 100% willing to be herself at every step, even if that means dancing thriller all alone. She touches on all of our insecurities, while teaching us how to break down our walls. 

Rom-Coms also need characters to make realistic choices. This does not mean that the movie itself is realistic, but rather than you can understand the choices the characters make. Again, 13 going on 30 does a fabulous job of this. Obviously, Jenna traveling in time because of wishing powder is not realistic, but the choices that her and her past self make are. Due to the insecurities of her childhood and a need to feel included, relevant, and powerful Jenna pushes important people out of her life, which happens to so many people in the real world. These decisions force her to miss out on the love of her life, and ultimately, the story ends sadly: the love of her life marries someone else and she is left with tears, wishing powder, and an old doll house. That is until she is able to travel back in time and change the course of her life. 

Lastly, Every classic Rom-Com couple needs to have chemistry. There. I said it. Hollywood loves just casting random famous actors without giving them a proper chemistry read. One great example of this is Julianne Hough and Josh Duhamel in Safe Haven. Both fun, famous, Hollywood actors who have zero chemistry. Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Garner had more chemistry throwing back Razzles than those two did during an intimate sex scene. 

Alright, now that we have broken down the requirements of a Romantic Comedy, let's jump into the best and worst of all time.

Best: When Harry Met Sally. 9/10. A classic. A tale as old as time. Both Sally & Harry are very flawed, yet relatable characters. Sally is too picky and particular, while Harry is a player. They both suck at relationships, but make rational decisions based on their motivations. We all have friends like these two and their chemistry is on point, both on a friendship and romantic level. They bounce off of one another splendidly. 

Worst: Sleepless in Seattle. 1/10 I know, this is a strong take, but this is a terrible movie about a stalker. Meg Ryan (I don’t even remember her character's name) is the stupidest most unrelatable character I have seen in a long time. She is extremely unlovable, cheats on her SO emotionally, and flies across the country to stalk a man that she has never met before. And then you’re telling me that Tom hanks FALLS FOR HER? Nope. No. I refuse to except this. Plus, their chemistry in this is pretty mediocre (You’ve Got Mail is Way Better) and we only get to see them together once. 

Best: 10 Things I Hate About You. 8/10. I was tempted to leave all high School Rom-Coms off this list, but Heath Ledger is my exception. Talk about likability. Kat is a strong, powerful, independent woman who learns how to be more vulnerable while still being a feminist badass. We all wanted to be Kat growing up. Meanwhile Heath Ledger is the classic bad boy with a soft side, and who wasn’’t into that? Both characters grow into new people throughout the movie making them relatable, complex, and realistic. Not to mention the angel that is Joseph Gordon Levitt, who keeps the audience up beat and smiling throughout the course of this Shakespeare tale

Best: My Big fat Greek Wedding. 10/10.  Have you seen this film recently? Because it is an absolute DELIGHT and so relatable. It dives into the difficulty of family expectation and cultures merging. It also has the cutest proposal of all time with a realistic couple that fights for one another on a daily basis. You laugh. You cry. You get a dynamic cast with wonderful chemistry. You feel invested in the family and the relationship. Just a joyful wonderful film.

Worst: Something Borrowed. 0/10. If you’ve never seen this movie, don’t. Ginnifer Goodwin sleeps with her best friends fiancé and we’re supposed to be okay with it because she liked him first. Hard pass. And she ignores John Krazinski who is right in front of her. She is unlikable, unreliable, and makes dumb decisions that no one else would. 

Best: He’s just not that into you. 9/10  I will go to bat for this movie. It follows several realistic storylines in a Love Actually manor, except they actual seem legit. A woman realizing her boyfriend is never going to marry her. A girl facing the fact that maybe some guys just aren’t that into her, and she isn’t an exception to the rule. A man slowly making the decision to cheat on his wife as they are growing apart. A woman realizing that she is worth way more than her bastard husband. A woman realizing that the person she’s sleeping with will never leave his wife for her. It's compelling, has realistic characters that we can relate to, and still warms your heart in the end. 

Best: The Big Sick. 8/10. Okay to be fair, this is based on a true story so it automatically has realistic characters and decisions. Maybe I should leave this off of the list, but I wish this film got the recognition it deserves. Two lovable main characters who make mistakes that are understandable. Wonderful chemistry between Kumail and his girlfriend as well as her family. 

Best: About Time. 11/10 This is hands down the best Rom-Com of all time and Potentially the best film of all time as well. If you don’t cry in this movie you do not have a heart or soul. The characters are SO insanely likable and adorable.It touches on the importance of family and valuing time and how little of it we have. The chemistry within the whole cast is palpable, and we can all relate to at least one character, whether it is the protagonist Tim, his wife Mary, his sister Kit-Kat, or his father. 

Well it is important to point out the obvious here: this list is lacking diversity in a huge way. All but one of these movies follow a cis, straight, white couple, and that is extremely concerning. People have attempted to make more diverse rom-coms over the past few years, but they all seem to be lacking one of the three core components of what makes a rom-com great: Relatable, realistic, and great chemistry. For example. Crazy Rich Asians was a fantastic film, but the high level of wealth that Nick Young comes from, made his character difficult to relate to, and I’m sorry but the chemistry just wasn’t there for me. Always Be My Maybe’s characters fell flat and it’s not a film I would want to watch more than once. Love Simon made some huge waves for LGBTQ representation in the media, but that ending kiss was unrealistic along with his friends reaction to fining out he was lying, which left the movie anti-climactic by the end. 

Now, the most recent film on this list was made in 2017. And before that 2013. So where have all the Rom Coms gone? Why don’t we see more of them. There are a few Rom Coms that could be contenders on the “Best” list from the last couple of years that include a small amount of diversity: 

Yesterday 7/10. The big question here is does this count as a romantic comedy? The love story isn’t the main plot, but is definitely a large sub-plot. This movie features an interracial couple and is highly re-watchable. The main characters are entertaining, relatable, and have pretty good chemistry. We will see if it stands the test of time. 

The Broken Hearts Gallery 7/10. This movie has gotten NO recognition. The main character, Lucy, is an extremely likable 20 something, not unlike our Ginnifer Goodwin in He’s Just not that Into You. The plot is fun and predictable but keeps you watching. I don’t know if this one will stay on my list long, but it’s definitely up there. 

But here is my challenge to Hollywood: create some new, beautiful Rom Coms that celebrate diversity but that don’t throw away the relatable, realistic, and high chemistry characters that we are just waiting to fall in love with. It’s got like 16 ideas up my sleeve, so just give me a call Hollywood. 

[buckyjamesbarnes1917]

Endlessly

A/N: Reader is a survivor of the Super Soldier Serum Experiment and continues to be haunted by the nightmares & terrors she had to endure during her time as one of HYDRA's pets. One day when she's thinking her existence simply doesn't matter in the world, someone from her past showed up unexpectedly. This does contain a little bit of TFATWS spoilers!

Warnings: Suicidal Thoughts, Nightmares/terrors, and torture & death. (All three & flashbacks are in italics)

“P-p-please no, you don’t have to do this, I have a family,”  said a man trembling and begging for mercy on his life with tears rolling down at his face at the end of the barrel of the gun

I just stood there with the same cold, blank stare that stayed upon my face on every mission, mind unfazed, no emotions, the way HYDRA created me. I still felt part of my mind screaming “Don’t! He’s done nothing wrong!” but my mind couldn’t fight against the forces & the control HYDRA has on me. I pulled the trigger and muttered, “The mission is finalized.” After I determined the man to have no sign of life, I stepped over the body to then feel his hands grasped my ankles and then I saw his bloodied face frozen with an agonizing expression.

I awoke suddenly to then start panicking, thinking I was still within HYDRA’s facility where they still had control over me & tortured me to do their biddings. After I finally calmed my breathing down, I reminded myself, “You’re okay, you’re safe in your own apartment, HYDRA fell with S.H.I.E.L.D when the Avengers took them down, just continue the breathing exercises, and everything will be alright.” Except, it’s not going to be alright, though doing the breathing exercises keeps my breathing under control, I’m still being tormented by my nightmares. I sighed and got out of bed, maybe a shower will help me clear my thoughts.

~Meanwhile, on a plane to America~

“What’s the story about the name Zemo was talking about when we were on our way to Madripoor?” Sam asked as Bucky thinks back to the conversation.

“To beat Karli, we need a lot more allies, I suggest we start by enlisting the help of Y/N L/N,” Zemo said as Sam looked confused & Bucky’s facial expression tweaked 

“Who-” Sam started to say until Bucky interrupts him, “Don’t you ever mention that name again.”

“I’m sorry, so let’s talk about the plan,” Zemo responds as Bucky went back in his seat.

Bucky sighed and said, “Her name is one of the people I have to make amends with, she was one of HYDRA’s experiments.”

“Hold up, I thought Zemo got rid of all the super soldiers, why did he spare her?” Sam responded as he and Bucky finally exit the plane

“He spared her life because he had a feeling that she could be free from the controls of HYDRA and so that she could try to live a normal life, like me,” Bucky said as Sam looked at him confused and asked, “How do you know that?”

“Before The Dora Milaje took him to The Raft, he knew she was on my list when he went to cross his name off. Zemo didn’t give me a definite answer why he told me, he just felt like it,” Bucky responded as Sam nodded an okay

“You think she can help us?” Sam asked as Bucky nodded his head and then said, “But it’s not going to be easy to convince her to join the cause.”

“Why? Did you do something to her that caused her to be on your list?” Sam asked 

Bucky sighed and said, “You don’t even want to know.” as Sam stayed silent, a sign that he understands and doesn’t want to push it

“I’m going to visit Isaiah before heading home to Sarah and the boys, want to tag along?” Sam asked as Bucky shook his head

“No, I’m going make amends with someone I should’ve made them with a long time ago,” Bucky responded as he only has one mission on his mind.

~Back in New York, a day later~

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” I kept whispering to myself, repeating the mantra

The shower did help me clear my thoughts, but throughout the day, I couldn’t shake the dread & despair the nightmares and terrors brought me. I know it wasn’t my fault for all those deaths, I was a weapon that HYDRA created and used, but HYDRA doesn’t exist anymore so I’m not a weapon. I don’t know why Helmut Zemo spared my life that day he confronted me, I have no place in this world nor would be of any use to make a difference.

“Why am I still alive? I’m nothing and nobody even cares about me nor care I still exist.” I whispered to myself as I rest my head on my knees

Then I heard a knock on my apartment door and stayed silent to see if I can recognize if one of my neighbors is behind the door. I got up from the floor and composed myself together before I go up to the door to check through the peephole and I suddenly froze when I saw who was on the other side, James Barnes aka The Winter Soldier, HYDRA’s former powerful weapon. A lot has changed and its been a long time since I came face to face with him.

“Y/N, I know you’re behind the door. Can you let me in so we can talk?” James whispered so I can only hear him

“You know he’s changed too, he isn’t The Winter Solider anymore, let him in,” I could hear my conscience telling me

I then started to unlock the door and opened it to him standing there, with a concerned face.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as James walked into my apartment

“Your name’s on my list,” James responded as I looked at him in confusion

“What list? Your list of people to kill or torture?” I asked as James hands me a notebook with his writing that shows my name under the title, “Amends”

“I’m no longer the Winter Soldier. I’m James “Bucky” Barnes and you’re part of my efforts to make amends,” James said

I was about to ask something, but then James interrupts me by responding, “I heard you.”

I started to develop a confused look on my face and then realized, with his enhanced hearing, he heard what I said minutes before he knocked on the door. I looked away from him and mutter, “Of course you did.”

“How long have they been happening?” James asked as I said in response, “Since before & returning from the Blip. Glad to see you’re looking well, therapy going good?” adding a little irritation at the end since therapy hasn’t been working for me

James sighed and then responds, “I’ve been having them too so, you’re not alone.” 

“I thought therapy was suppose to help with that,” I said with a tone of shock in my voice that maybe he hasn’t changed much

“It’s helping, but not as much as it needs to.” James replied 

 James sighed and then said, “I’m sorry for what happened in the past, all the pain & torture I caused you as the Winter Soldier. I know I can’t take it back, but if you’ll allow me, I want to make it up to you. I need your help.”

I contemplated accepting his apology to then say, “Okay. What do you need help with?”

“Are you aware of the Flag Smashers?” James asked as I nodded my head in response “Well, their leader, Karli decided to lay low after what Walker did to one of her followers. We need to be prepared for her next move when it happens, but Sam & I can’t do all this by ourselves, so will you help us when the time comes?”

“Why me? You heard what I said, I’m nothing, Zemo should’ve ended me when he had the chance,” I responded as James looked away

“You are not nothing, you are a survivor and a fighter. Zemo spared your life because he believed you would make a difference in this world and protect it when the time comes. I know that you are strong enough to stand your ground and I believe in you,” James said as I stood there, stunned not knowing that his words would make that much of an impact on me.

“Okay,” I responded as James looked back at me, “I’ll help you and Sam take down the Flag Smashers, whatever it takes.”

I could see James thinking about something so I asked, “James, what are you thinking about?”

“How would you feel about taking a trip down to Delacroix, Louisiana? You get a break from the city and you get to meet Sam so you can start to build your trust in him,” James responded 

“Think that would do me good since I haven’t gotten much sleep, also sorry for getting irritated with you,” I said as James laughs and smiles at me

“It’s fine, doll, also call me Bucky,” Bucky responded as he starts to back up and turn around to leave my apartment with me walking behind him

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile or laugh like that before,” I thought to myself as I start to smile at the ground, “It’s definitely having an effect on me.”

As we’re on our way to Louisiana, he caught me up on what happened overseas, including the incident with John Walker.

“So wait, Walker wouldn’t give up the shield and felt no remorse for what he did to Steve’s legacy? What an asshole,” I said as Bucky chuckles in agreement.

“Yeah, Sam and I took the shield back, which left Walker with a broken arm,” Bucky responds as he looks at his vibranium arm that’s resting against mine.

“Hey, remember, you’re free from HYDRA, you don’t have the arm they provided you, and you learned to resist the trigger words,” I reminded him as he nods his head

“I’m sorry if this brings up the nightmares, but are they about your victims or is it just your subconscious making you feel what you do?” Bucky asked as I sighed

“They’re  just about me remembering what I’d done and how much control HYDRA had over me, it’s just hard to shake off the feeling of dread & despair after experiencing them,” I responded as I felt Bucky move his hand into mine and squeezing it in reassurance

“It’ll be okay, maybe the change of scenery will help the both of us,” Bucky whispered 

After we arrived two days before, we went to the docks where we saw everyone helping out Sam and his family with the boat. Bucky and I walked over to the boat when we see Sam talking to two locals when Bucky decided to help them get an equipment out of the trunk.

“Thanks Buck, this her?” Sam asked as Bucky nodded, “So will you help us?”

“Yes, I will help you with the Flag Smasher, need help with the boat?” I responded as Sam said, “Hope you don’t mind”

“No, we don’t mind. Where do you want us?” Bucky asked as Sam pointed us to where he wanted us

As we were working, I notice out of the corner of my eye, a woman who looks to be Sam’s sister, walking along the dock with a clipboard.

“Hey, I’m Bucky,” I hear Bucky say as the woman stops in front of him

“Sarah, nice to meet you, and who are you?” Sarah responds to then turn her attention to me

“Y/N, nice to meet you too, also don’t mind Bucky, he’s a bit of a flirt,” I said teasingly as Sarah laughs and Bucky makes a face at me that says “Really?”

“What? You know I’m right because if I recall, in the 1940s before you went to war, you were one of Brooklyn’s biggest flirts, I read about it at the exhibit,” I responded towards Bucky’s way 

Bucky shook his head and smiled to the ground, thinking no one would notice, but Sam did.

After I finished up with what I was tasked to do, Sarah asked me to help her out with something so I got off the boat and followed her to where we needed to go, leaving Bucky and Sam sitting there. Sam walks over to the cooler and grabbed two Heineken to then hand one to Bucky.

“Alright, so what’s going on between you two?” Sam asked as Bucky sighed

“We’re just focusing on me making it up to her and completing my efforts to make amends with her,” Bucky responded as he took a sip

“Bucky, I’ve seen that look in your eyes, you’re in love with her, how long has that feeling been there?” Sam asked, unknowingly oblivious to the fact I returned from helping Sarah and was standing nearby.

“I remember seeing her at the facility after Steve broke the trance, the first thought that came to my mind was, “Who was this girl with the blank cold stare?” then they commanded her to do her task and I could see for a split second that her eyes showed emotions. A split second, I knew she still had the parts to her that made her human,” Bucky responded as he then said, “That’s when it happened.”

“So after HYDRA fell, you forgot about her or did that memory only existed in the Winter Soldier persona?” Sam said as Bucky got up to stand

“After Hydra fell and I started to gain my mind back, I always thought back to her, wondering where she was and what she was up to. One day, I decided I was going to see for myself, so I found her. When I saw her that first time since that day at the facility, Sam, I wanted to make my presence known to her, she looked so lost and knowing what me as the Winter Soldier did to her, not knowing if she even remembers it, I didn’t want to force myself to stand face to face with her because I didn’t know if she was ready then to talk to me or if it was going to jeopardize her healing from the torture and the horrors of HYDRA. So I left, though it pained me that she never would’ve known someone still cared about her, and I wish I could’ve helped her with her nightmares before now,” Bucky said as he runs his hands over his face

“Y-you really feel that way?” I finally spoke, making my presence known as Sam and Bucky looked towards my direction

“Okay, that’s my cue. I’ll let you guys talk and have your privacy,” Sam said as he got off the boat and left, leaving me and Bucky alone on the docks

“Yes, I do feel that way and I am so sorry that you’ve been feeling that way for a long time,” Bucky responded with tears welling up in his eyes as I go on the boat to stand in front of him

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” I said putting my hands on his face, feeling one of his hands wrap around my wrist, “I’m glad that you did what you felt was right for me no matter how bad you felt about doing it. You were willing to be patient until the day you felt I would be ready to face you again.”

“So you’re not mad at me?” Bucky asked as I leaned in closer to the point where our lips are close to touching

“James Bucky Barnes, despite all the torture and pain you put me through as the Winter Soldier, I still forgave you at my own pace which you allowed me to have. That makes you one of the amazing guys I have the pleasure of knowing,” I said as I finally kissed him, making the first move

Bucky kissed back and moved one of his hands to my hair and the other to settle on my waist as we kissed in the sunset. We pulled away and I looked up to see Bucky smiling down at me, then he reached to one of his back pockets to pull out his notebook and handed it to me.

“So shall we cross off your name off the list?” Bucky asked with a smirk plastered on his face

I smiled back and said, “Definitely” as I took the notebook & pen from him and crossed out my name.

“Feels good huh?” I asked him as he laughed

“It does, so should we start finding a hotel to crash at before our flight back home?” Bucky asked

Before I could even answer or make a suggestion, we hear Sam from behind us, “You guys can stay at our place if you want to.”

I was silently glad that Bucky took up on Sam’s offer because that night was the first night in years where I had a peaceful sleep and it was in the arms of someone I loved & trusted in the house of people we felt comfortable around.

[tiredcath]

Zukka Fic Recs

after atla came back into pop culture i found myself falling back in love with zukka which resulted in me reading (almost) every zukka fic on ao3 and here are my favorites

Transference by The_Quatermasters (146k)

In a modern AU, Zuko has to deal with settling in a new school after expulsion, dealing with an angry ex and an abusive father. Maybe his new found friendships and growing closeness with Sokka will help him make it through. 

Borderlines by The_Quatermasters (73k)

Three years after the war, the work still isn't quite done and the Gaang is scattered across the continents in their efforts to help the world recover. When Aang and Katara pay visit to the Fire Nation where Zuko is Fire Lord and Sokka acts as Ambassador for the Water Tribe, sparks fly between the siblings over Sokka's life choices.

Ashes Inside When You Finish Your Song by Muncaster (47k)

Sokka writes lyrics for his sister’s band. Zuko plays piano and is unnecessarily nice. Fellas, is it gay to write love songs about your friend and his golden eyes?

(AKA, a modern band AU featuring The Gaang, crappy software equipment, homoerotic lyrics, and the realization that maybe, if you think about a guy every night before you sleep, you just might be in love with him.)

sirens & sleepless nights by Satirrian (54k)

Life can be pretty hard living in a city under a totalitarian regime. Between adhering to the ridiculous curfew, keeping himself from being gunned down by a passing patrolman, and paying his unnecessary tolls to the state for, say, breathing, Sokka has his hands full just getting to work. Add aiding a resistance group on top of that, and Sokka should really be getting paid for this.

Then, one night, Sokka finds an injured patrolman collapsed in the street, who tells him with blood on his lips, “If the patrol finds me, I’m dead.”

 Real Slow by surveycorpsjean (21k)

“I see.” Zuko closes the scroll. “Is the Water Tribe sending a replacement?”

“Uh yeah,” Sokka gestures to himself dramatically. “You’re looking at him.”

 First by HoneyBadgerMole (20k)

Zuko has been nurturing a crush on the jock in his AP Psych class but he has been too scared to talk to him until they get paired up for a project.

the benefits of getting a flat tire by LesbeanLatte (64k)

Zuko makes an impromptu decision to run away from home after a disturbing conversation with Azula. Unfortunately, some plans are better when they're actually, well, planned. Zuko isn't counting on getting a flat tire almost as soon as he's far enough away from the city to really be in the middle of nowhere.

Sokka is immediately taken with the stranger he and his friends find stranded on the side of the road during an afternoon joy ride. However, he has no idea what he's getting involved with and a kind attempt to help a fellow teen in need turns into a massive coverup for a missing person who just so happens to be the son of the mayor of Ba Sing Se.

Azula was just trying to help her big brother - in her own way - by telling him things she thought he deserved to know. Now the situation has gotten wildly out of control. Did she enjoy seeing Zuko upset and afraid? Of course. Had she intended to endanger his life? Not necessarily, but of course, her idiot brother overreacted to everything and that's what happened and now she doesn't know how to stop the chain of events she's indirectly put in place like dominoes.

Operation Leverage by snowandfire (50k)

Sokka's instincts are onto something great. Zuko just wants to serve tea and brood in peace. Ironically, Toph is the only one who can see what's really going on.

 The Stingray by Smediterranea (24k)

“You’re not carrying me.”

“I don’t mind,” the lifeguard says easily.

“I can just hop over.”

“On sand?”

Zuko will never admit it, but being carried feels pretty nice. The lifeguard sets him down and eyes him warily.

“Are you really all by yourself?” he asks in a worried tone. “No friends in town you can call to check on you?”

“No,” Zuko confirms. Tears are forming again with alarming speed; his foot throbs painfully with every passing second.

“What kind of burrito do you want?”

“You don’t have to —“ Zuko repeats.

“I’m getting al pastor. You like al pastor?”

 AU: Zuko falls for Sokka, the super hot lifeguard who helps him after an unfortunate encounter with a stingray.

 it's the illusion of separation by argentoswan (110k)

Sokka takes a job washing dishes at the new tea shop in town. It's a great gig, until he finds out his only coworker is his old high school bully. Sokka really should quit, but he also really needs to afford rent.

Also, Zuko is kind of hot now.

 People like to think war means something by trying_to_spell_both_our_names_at_once (21k)

Sokka was the first to leave.

Somehow that hurt the most. . . . Not long after Zuko becomes Firelord, forces gather in the South and next thing he knows he's thrown into a civil war with almost no one by his side. Maybe healing is longer and more complicated than it needs to be, but with the right people by your side it is always possible.

 a way that will destroy you by anothermistakemade (14k)

In the wake of Ozai's death, Zuko begins to fall apart. Sokka will do everything in his power to make sure that doesn't happen.

-

or, zuko might be losing his mind, but he also might just be really sad & traumatized

 Those Who Favor Fire by CSHfic, VSfic (30k)

After a failed attempt on his life, Sokka fakes his death, dons a disguise, and infiltrates the would-be assassin's ranks in an attempt to bring them down from the inside.

Zuko learns of his husband's tragic death, mourns, and vows revenge.

 Words Mean More at Night by DaisytheDoodleDog (28k)

Even ten years after the end of the war, rebellions rise and risk the balance of the nations. Sokka was willing to do anything to protect his people, which is perhaps why he's leading an army against the rebellion, attacking only as a last result. But Sokka's unwinding, it's taking a toll on him, and the only thing keeping him grounded are the letter Zuko and him exchange late in the night when no one can see the messenger hawks. But as they say, nothing's fair in love and war.

another word for wanting by eurydicees (23k)

Sokka begins to dream of his soulmate when he's eleven years old, and it just gets harder from there. Or, 125 moments soulmates share, and none of them come easy.

(In which your dreams are your soulmate's memories, and Sokka dreams of an all-consuming fire, growing and eating at his soulmate until it burns up the connection between their souls. In which they find love anyways.)

 It Has Only Just Begun by Kirazalea (39k)

There is a bitter triumph in crashing when you should be soaring

Zuko had now chosen the path his uncle had been trying so hard to show him; he had someone who believed in him, who maybe loved him; he was travelling with the Avatar and they apparently had a plan to end the war. By all accounts, Zuko should be smiling.

But Uncle was gone (captured by Azula, and Zuko didn't think she would kill him, but he didn’t, couldn’t, know for sure). The Avatar was barely breathing (he could still die at any second and there was nothing any of them could do about it). Azula had conquered the last Earth Kingdom stronghold (all those innocent people who were now at her mercy). It seemed like, for every step Zuko took forward, the world sent him back three more.

But he was determined to push forward anyways. He needed to make his uncle proud, even if it was the last thing he ever did.

aka: zuko joins the gaang at the end of season 2

 Nightmares and Reveries by HisMomoness (20k)

Zuko doesn't sleep because when he does, he's haunted by nightmares. Sokka worms his way into a job and makes it his mission to get Zuko to relax. Lots of head pets and one vacation to the South Pole later, Zuko might just be getting the hang of it.

Cue pining, some fluff, and eventual romance.

 The One Who Stopped Time by ohhihoney (66k)

All hope was lost to Zuko until one day, his uncle asked a random person at the Jasmine Dragon to tutor his nephew. Gritting his teeth and embarrassed beyond the point of no return, Zuko gave the blue eyed boy his number.

Little did Zuko know how much Sokka would change his world.

 Rubbed Off Stars by ohhihoney (2k)

Sokka wasn't going to just sit and watch the boy at the back of the bus cry while trying to rub off pride flags off his cheeks.

--------------

WIP

Ozymandias, King of Kings by Think_of_a_Wonderful_Thought (168k)

After that fateful Agni Kai, Ozai makes a different call. Branded as a traitor and banished to a prison camp, Zuko learns how cruel the Fire Nation can be to its citizens. Three years, a water tribe raid, and an unexpected meeting with a gang of over-enthusiastic idealistic children puts Zuko back in the spotlight. The revolution is coming and it wants another poster boy, but Zuko is not willing to lend his face to the cause.

 Another Brother by AvocadoLove (312k)

It was a mission of revenge. There weren't supposed to be any survivors, but Chief Hakoda couldn't bring himself to kill the Fire Nation boy. Against his better judgment, he brought him home. A Zuko joins the Water Tribe story.

--------------

BONUS : zuko x jet

Something to Hold Onto by Wildgoosery (122k)

Since the day the walls of Ba Sing Se fell, the Freedom Fighters have struggled to protect what remains of the city and its people. Jet and his second command, a mysterious boy named Li, have spent the summer piecing together an army, hoping for a chance to take the city back for good. But Li is also Zuko, and the time for that secret is quickly running out. Soon, he'll have to decide exactly who he is, what cause he's going to fight for, and where his heart lies.

[fandomscombine]

The Hargreeves Kerfuffle Part 2: Family Reunion

The Hargreeves Kerfuffle Part 2: Family Reunion

The Hargreeves siblings x Hargreeves!Reader (Familial Relationship)

BG: The Reader is Number Eight. It follows how you fit into the structure of Season 1 and the family dynamic of the siblings.

This part follows the collapse of The Umbrella Academy during their youth and having the family back together after years apart for the very first time.

I have mashed up the information and some events from both the comics and the tv series. So a heads up for readers who haven’t read the comics, it was hinted in S2 but in the very beginning of the comics, it’s canon that Reginald is indeed an Alien.

The series will consist of 10 parts. Where the reader would have a focused interaction with each sibling. (Eg. After this part, it would be Luther x Reader, then Diego x Reader and so on! –Yes Ben is included)

WC: 4786 (never had I written so much for one part before!)

Contains: Angst. Death- Reginald and Ben (so not exactly a spoiler, but while writing Ben’s scene had my eyes water a bit.) Crap childhood and the Hargreeves being a mess.

A/N: You guys are literally the best! Reading your replies and comments about how much you enjoyed part 1 and are looking forward to the rest of the series, really warms my heart!

>>GENERAL MASTERLIST<<

>>THE HARGREEVES KERFUFFLE SERIES MASTERLIST<<

READ: [PART 1]  [PART 3]  [PART 4]

>>JOIN MY WRITING CHALLENGE!<<

~

March 21, 2019.  

Never had you thought that you would be back here, looking up the gates of The Umbrella Academy, 13 years later.

There was and still is so much pain associated with this building, this entity, this identity of The Umbrella Academy. That you hadn’t seen it coming- well not exactly completely blind to it. Sir Reginald Hargreeves’ upbringing of children-your siblings, your childhood- had always been shit but you had never come close to imaging it to be as emotionally and mentally damaging as it did.

Children at aged 7 finding out they had powers was great. To a kid, it was a dream come true to be a real-life superhero. It all started out as fun and games but soon, training started to be competitions to outshine your siblings-your competitors whist being told to work together at the same time. It was quite a hard concept to grasp as a young kid, but in order to get any attention and praise from a distant father, a kid would do anything.

By the age of 9, the superhero team of ‘The Umbrella Academy’ was officially announced to the world. The group consisted of the 7 Hargreeves children, publicly known as: Spaceboy, The Kraken, The Rumor, The Séance, The Boy, The Horror, and Foresight.

An 8th child with seemingly no superpower, had been secretly tucked away, hidden from the world and too, distanced away from her own siblings. It was though Vanya Hargreeves didn’t exist.

You did try your best to spend time with Vanya and keep the Sunday sister bonding time with her, but with all your training and missions, combined with all her violin lessons and some other private lessons she often go on with in long periods of time - though she wouldn’t mention what they were- there was absolutely no time to be in each other’s presence, so soon you along with the rest of your siblings slip away from Vanya.

At age 10 was a big year for the Hargreeves siblings, they had kind of successfully protected the city of Paris from the chaos of the Eiffel Tower being a spaceship- yes it did flew away but at least the people were saved- The mission became world wide news and soon every move they made caught the public’s eye. With this led to more intense training and additional etiquette workshops to better the group’s public image.

Reginald being a helicopter parent took a toll on the children, who had coped in their own ways. Luther taking the role of ‘leader’ to heart, Diego with his never ending hero complex, Allison using her power to get whatever she wanted, Klaus fell into the world of drugs and alcohol, Five-the rebel who thinks he’s smarter than everyone even dad, Ben into the world of video games, Vanya became ever more quiet and more to herself, and you-a yes person to dad who calls you his most valuable asset that has ever crossed his path, never wanting to let him down.

Things really started to get out of hand at the ripe old age of 13. Breakfast had been a mess, Five had a massive argument with dad and stormed out of the house. You ran after him, caught his coat just as he passed the gate- the very gate you are standing in front of now.

‘FIVE! WAIT!’

‘WHAT?’ He turned, looking angrier as ever.

‘Please don’t leave.’ You place your hand on his shoulder- damn when did he become taller than you? ‘You both can talk this out. Rationalized things out’ You pleaded.

He shook your hand away. ‘Talk? REALLY Y/N? You think good old dad would dare listen to someone younger than him? TO HIS OWN CHILDREN?’ He snorted. ‘You are daft y/n. I thought you were smarter than this-‘ Five sighed. ‘But a guess you are too much of a daddy’s girl to see things clearly.’

‘I know you didn’t mean that’ You stammered, not letting the tears fall. ‘that’s just your anger talking.’

‘oh but I do mean it. Now if you’d excuse me, I have to get going to prove dad wrong.’

Five makes a step forward but you blocked his way

‘GET OUT OF THE WAY Y/N’ He pushes you. ‘I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE ANYMORE.’

As you fell to the ground, you see him blip away.

That was the last time anyone had seen Number Five and his final words still haunts you to this day.

‘get out of the way y/n! i don’t want to see your face anymore.’

To make matters worst from having a sibling disappear and to never come back was to have another sibling lose his life.

The media was quick to publish the news. It was all the tabloid and news outlets seem to care about. The headline would vary but all in all still carry the same heart-breaking news. Be it from ‘The Horror dies in mission.’ , ‘The Umbrella Academy loses the life of another of its members.’ to ‘RIP to teen superhero Ben Hargreeves aka The Horror.’

Oh Ben, dear Ben. Why must he be taken away? You thought. Why?

The mission was meticulously planned and prepared for. You were sure to have extracted all the information on what was to go down and what the villains’ moves were from your vision.

You had memorized that every aspect of that dream- you had 2 weeks to prepare. Everyone was supposed to be safe, but why wasn’t Ben?

Why didn’t reality play out as to what you foresaw? You had never slipped up before. Why had the one time you did cost you the life of your beloved brother? Why?

While sobbing your eyes out onto Ben’s grave, a memory of what seemed so long ago came rushing back.

~

>>‘I’m sorry y/n.’ He said leaning on your door frame.

‘Ben!’ You exclaimed. ‘I’m so glad you’re back up and running!’

Ben was caught off guard. ‘You—You’re not mad at me?’

‘Why would I be mad at you?’ You questioned, genuinely confused at your brother’s words.

‘Cause, Cause I almost got you killed. I am a monster.’

You sat up straight at those words, your ribs hurt a bit at the sudden movement, but you didn’t care. Your brother was blaming himself for something he couldn’t have controlled.

‘NO BEN!’

Ben jumped from your sudden outburst.

You motioned for him to come closer.

‘Ben…’ looking into his eyes. ‘Ben you are no monster.’

‘But—’

‘uuh uh I’m not done’ You held his hand in yours. ‘You are no monster what happened then was an accident, nobody knew, heck nobody expected powers to just show up. It was beyond anyone’s control. It took us by surprise.’

His shoulders relaxed.

‘It wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you for what happened.’

He gave you a bone crushing hug. ‘Thank you y/n. You don’t know how guilty I was feeling.’ Voice muffled by your shoulder, which is now wet with his tears. ‘I kept thinking about the pain I caused you and I wasn’t allowed to leave my room even when I begged dad to see you and say sorry. y/n’

‘Shhh shhh’ Rubbing his back. ‘It’s alright Ben. What’s important is that we’re all here now. Alive, Safe and sound.’. <<

~

‘I’m sorry Ben…’ You choked out.

‘I’m so sorry Benny…’ Wiping his gravestone of your tears. ‘I—I got you killed. I am a monster. I am THE monster.’ You hiccupped. ‘It is MY job to keep everyone same, to do the reconnaissance, to ensure that everyone in the frontline is safe. It is my power to foresee what could go wrong, to avoid disastrous mistakes. And….and I failed, Ben. I failed. I failed you, dad, The Umbrella Academy.’

‘I miss you Ben so much…’ You lie down with an arm across the lawn. Picturing that is was him you’re hugging, that he is really there.’ more than your annoyingly sweet ass could ever believe. I wish you were here Ben, safe and sound. And if you could hear me Ben, I wish you could forgive me.’

Your eyes slowly fall shut from the emotional guilt you’re feeling but a warm breeze passes through like a warm embrace lightening the heavy burden within.

A soft whisper of reassurance and familiar words brings you to peaceful rest.

‘I forgive you y/n. It wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you for what happened.’

You stirred from your sleep as you felt yourself lifted from the ground.

‘Careful Diego! You might wake her up.’ You hear Klaus say.

All this trauma, stress and was just too much to handle by minors and as quickly as all your powers came, the same goes for the people who left.

Klaus was the first to leave the academy at age 16, who choose to be self-checked at a rehab centre, stating that that was a way healthier environment then this shithole that was ‘home’.  Who could blame him? Especially when you yourself were planning to leave.

As much as you wanted to get up and leave in the dead of night, you can’t. You don’t have the heart to leave your remaining siblings behind. No, not in this environment. If you were to leave, you wanted them to go with you, to at least know they would have a good life ahead.

Under Reginald’s watchful eye, it would take time to sort the plan out, but it would be worth it.

And you know just the person to talk to.

‘Heyya Diego.’

‘You’re up to something y/n/n and I don’t want to be in any part of it.’ He says without glancing your way. ‘Not after the pineapple incident.’ Diego’s eyes finally landing on you.

Rolling your eyes, you chuckled. ‘Oh come on Diegs! That was years ago! It was just a childish prank—’

Diego gives you the finger.

‘-Oi! It is not MY fault what Luther did to you; besides you were supposed to take the EAST stairwell, NOT the West.’ You say matter of factly, shaking your head. ‘Ughh no, we are getting out of topic. Diego, I need your help and you have to promise not to tell anyone-’

‘You’re devising a getaway plan, aren’t you?’

Your brows scrunched together. ‘How’d you—’

‘I’m not blind y/n, I recognised the look of someone who too is planning to escape.’

You raise a brow. ‘Too?’

‘Yes, Too.’ Diego edges closer to you. ‘Now, why don’t we save the trouble of potentially ruining each other’s individual schemes and join forces. Team up. More brainpower. And whatnot. Deal?’ Offering his pinky out.

You ignored the outstretched gesture. ‘What happened to being a lone wolf huh?  I thought that was your thing now?’ You countered.

‘Like a said y/n, the more brainpower, the higher the success.’ He explained. ‘Say, we do manage to get out or perhaps just leave, like Klaus. Where would we go? Where would you? Hmm?’

‘I… I…’ You honestly don’t know.

‘Exactly. That’s why we team up and once we’re out of here. We stick together for a while till we get back on our feet and figure out what we want then go our separate ways.’

You nod, digesting his words. It seems like a solid plan with ample flexibility before deciding on what to do with your life after. But….

‘Okay…..’

‘Okay!’

‘…On one condition. It would not only you and me. We’ll try to get to convince the others to come along too.’

‘What?! y/n no, that’s too many people on the plan-‘

‘More brainpower, higher the success. Your words Diego. Not mine.’ You retaliated. ‘Besides, we can’t just leave everyone here. It’s miserable here. They’re family Diego.’

‘Fine we’ll tell Luther and Allison.’

‘Everyone, Diego.’ You stared him down. ‘And that includes Vanya. No buts.’

‘Ugh.Fine.’ He points a finger towards your face. ‘We tell Luther, Allison AND Vanya. But I swear y/n if anyone of them rats us out or backs out of the plan. We leave them behind. No pity if they choose to stay in this shithole of a house. They are old enough to make their own decision and to face the consequences.’ He leans back to the bed’s headboard. ‘That’s my final offer. Deal?’

‘Deal.’ You interlock your fingers, sealing the pinky promise.

It was easy to get Vanya on board, as she was the child that received the crappiest treatment from dad. Allison was hesitant at first but after convincing her the real world had so much more to give compared to that of the imaginary perfect bubble she created for herself here in the academy with the use of her power, she was on board.

Luther that ever loyal ‘leader’ of the academy would never dare cross dad, the idea wouldn’t have even crossed his mind. Diego had failed to make him see reason and so have you. Luther only came around to be a part of the escape because Allison had agreed to it.

It took almost 6 months. The time has come. You all had saved up enough money to rent a loft apartment downtown and pooled enough to last at least 3 months on your own.

At 1:00 am.  All the remaining 5 Hargreeves are to ready with their backpacks to sneak out in groups, boys and girls, and meet at the rendezvous point, Giddy’s Doughnuts. There, a van would be available for them to drive to the apartment.

The boys were to go first, as to let Diego deactivate the security features of the house while Luther stands guard.

It was only supposed to take 15 minutes tops, it was 20 minutes past now. Something was wrong.

Deciding as a team to check up on the boys, you, Allison and Vanya head down to the foyer.

Upon arrival, you see Luther with his hands covering Diego’s face, Diego who seem limp as a log.

‘Luther what’s going on?’ Allison’s voice rang out beside you.

‘I’m sorry….’ He looks down unto the unconscious Diego in his arms. ‘I just… I just couldn’t.’

‘Number Eight! How could you! How could all of you! Three! Seven!’

The room seemed to turn colder by the sound of the voice. You turn and see Sir Reginald Hargreeves.

‘Dad…’

‘YOU ARE ALL A DISGRACE.’ Reginald spitted.

‘But dad!’ Luther pleaded. ‘I was the one who informed you about their plan!’

‘ENOUGH! NO MORE OF THIS FOOLISHNESS, BACK TO BED---’

‘That’s right NO MORE dad!’ Shouted Allison. She glances at dad then at Luther. A frown etched her face as she commanded. ‘I heard a rumor that you couldn’t move your legs.’

The effect was immediate. The lower half of Reginald and Luther stayed still as a rock while they tried their best to break free. But alas, Allison had the upper hand. ‘I heard a rumor you let us go freely.’ At once, both men calmed down.

And to add insult to injury. Allison focused on Reginald and rumoured ‘And you would leave Diego Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves, Y/n Hargreeves and Allison Hargreeves alone.’

Luther’s betrayal felt like a stab in the back.

Moving on and creating a new life from the ground up for oneself was hard but having your siblings with you had definitely made it easier.

It took a while to get the hang of things, being 4 young adults with nothing. You missed Mom and Pogo, but you knew that they, like Luther would stick with Dad.

Vanya was the first to take up stack, she provided the finance to pay rent and groceries with the salary she would get from her violin performances at the local theatre. Soon Allison would also chip in from the money she received from her acting gigs.

Diego showed interest into joining the police academy while you wanted to get away from the lifestyle as much as possible, opted to move across the country and pursue tertiary education-because that was what normal 18-year-old do right? For once you want to be ordinary and what better way than experience what student life is all about.

Though there is one teensy detail that was hindering your application. You were home-schooled by your robot mom. There weren’t report cards or grades that any university would accept. Even if there were, you wouldn’t want to go back to that dreadful house.

 Both not wanting to lose your newfound passion, you and Diego had an enormous favour to ask.

‘NO not a chance!’ Allison crossed her arms.  ‘It’s unethical!’

‘Yes we know-‘ you replied.

‘But it’s the only way.’ Diego reasoned. ‘It’s not fair for y/n and I to not be able to follow our dreams and to finally FINALLY move on with our lives, Ally. While you and Vanya get to live out yours.’

You nodded along. ‘We ask you just this one thing and we’re out of your hair.’

Allison looked between you two as if to decided whether it would be worth it. ‘Fine, just this once.’  She sighs. ’And this doesn’t get out kapeesh?’ pointing her finger.

‘kapeesh.’

~

‘I’m gonna miss you so much!’ Vanya admitted.

You pulled both your sisters into a hug. ‘I’m miss you gals more!’

Allison wipes her tears away. ‘Don’t forget us okay? Remember we’re only a text away.’

‘Tell Diego that I’m gonna miss kicking his butt when he come back from his officer training, ye?’

~

Over the years you hadn’t lost touch with your family. It’s been a while since you’ve all together physically, but you do video chat every once and a while and you have a general tab on each of your siblings. Vanya is currently the 3rd chair violin at her orchestra, Diego had channelled his inner batman and believe to be a vigilante keeping the streets and public safe.

As for Klaus, Diego had told you that he hasn’t managed to keep off his ~happy place~ and had seen him in and out of nightclubs.

Allison….Well who wouldn’t know about what she’s up to. A-list celebrity with numerous critically acclaimed movies to her name, one half of Hollywood’s hottest couple and amazing role model for mothers. Ahh Claire that sweet angel, who says that you’re her favourite aunt, that smile of hers melts your heart.

The last you’ve seen of Luther is when his journey to the moon has been televised a couple of years ago. There’s been no news since.

 The rattling of the gate brings you back to the present.

‘AH yes, Miss.y/n. He has been expecting you.’

‘Pogo!’ You exclaimed, wrapping him in a hug.

‘So I’m not to late then? Where’s mom?’

‘Grace is with Sir Reginald, my dear.’ Pogo leads you up the stairs.

Looking around, everything is as pristine as usual. ‘I see that nothing’s change’ You noted.

‘Yes, well I was asked to keep it as it always was.’

He opens the door to Reginald’s quarters. There on the bed was dad, looking sickly pale but still alive unlike to what you had seen in your vision.

Beside him wiping away the sweat on his forehead was mom. ‘Oh, my dear y/n I’m glad you could join us.’ She says as if years hadn’t gone by without your presence.

You reach the foot of the bed. ‘Dad…’ you begin.

But Reginald cuts you off. ‘Number Eight. Glad to see that logical and curious side of yours overrides that irrational emotive side.’ His voice weak yet still holds its signature condescending tone. ‘It is your disposition to the voice of reason and mysteries of the unknown that led you here, despite your supposed hatred towards me-‘

‘There’s no grey area, I do hate you.’

He waved his hand to dismiss your interruption.

‘As I was saying, it is of this reason- your control over the impulsiveness that is apparent to all of your siblings who lack control- is why you are my favourite.’

You scoffed.

‘It is true, my dear y/n.’

‘Oh please. You only see me as a “valuable asset”. Remember?’

Reginald nods. ‘I do, but I believe the exact words were “You would do great things Number Eight. To see into the future is a valuable asset to have indeed”. Thus, implying that your ability is the asset not you.’

‘Sure, just rub it in don’t you.’ Rolling your eyes.

‘I hope that you do too remember that also in my own words that you were and still are “the cleverest of the bunch”.’

‘So why am I here, you’re clearly not dead.’ You looked at him again.  You’ve never seen your dad so fragile ever. ‘….yet. So there must be something to do with that. Perhaps find your killer?’

On the bedside table, you took note of the cup of tea and medication. Your brain is in super speed, running through ideas on what could have cause him to be so sickly.

‘It could be your meds…..’ You look up. ‘Mom who else has access to Dad’s medication?’

‘Just us dear, Pogo and I.’

‘Number Eight there is no killer. I am dying because of old age, it is quite normal for-‘

‘NO No but the mortality rate is 350 years for the species of—’

‘Ah!’ Reginald’s face showed of surprise which slowly turned into cunningest. ‘so, you know then’ He chuckled.

‘Yes.’

‘Since when?’ He asked genuinely curious.

‘When we first showed signs of powers, some of your notes were written in a language I did not recognised.’ You recalled. ‘So, I did some digging, it took a while but when I found about the secret safe under this very bed and what it contained. Everything became clearer.’

‘Very good. Y/n. Nobody knew about the safe expect myself.’ He looked over at Pogo. ‘Did you know of it?’

‘No, Sir.’ Pogo admitted. ‘Not until now.’

‘Very well indeed. You knew all this time, yet you didn’t say anything. Why?’

‘Because it didn’t matter.’ You shrugged. ‘The only thing that matter in this household was our powers.’

‘Did the others-‘

‘No, they didn’t know. I hadn’t told a soul. It is not my secret to share.’

‘And soon it will be yours.’

‘What?’

‘Number Eight, it is without a doubt my time here is limited. Perhaps as little as an hour.’

Never had you seen someone talk about their death like this. You shiver at the thought.

‘By the fact that you are here now and had seen a vision of me dead means that the block I had place on you to prevent you peering into events regarding me is failing. Failing as my health is.’

You want to be angry. How dare he supress your power. But you stand still as a rock by his confession. ‘why?’ A soft whisper was all you could muster. ‘why?’

‘Because I had to keep my real identity a secret. To prevent you from exposing me.’ He coughed. ‘But turns out, you hadn’t need to use your powers to know that, as what you’ve told me.’ He looked at you with watering eyes. ‘You found that all on your own, yet you did not disclose anything.’ He reached out for your hand to which you accept. ‘For which I am delighted that at least I can say that I have one child, a daughter to be proud of.’

A daughter to be proud of.

You would like to think that you are strong and independent. And those are true. But that small child that all that wanted was to experience a parent’s love and affection. That emotional support of that small child which you thought you had successfully tucked away came clawing its way back to the surface.

‘y/n’ You had almost missed it, wiping away your tears, you leaned closer.

‘Listen carefully….’ Your dad’s chest was barely moving. It was a struggle for him to get the following words out. ‘The end is near, get the others ……and save…..the…..tttiiiimmm’

You never head what came next. Sir Reginald Hargreeves is dead.

Under the setting sun, Reginald looked at peace.

~

A half moon shines brightly above the house. It had been 3 days and 7 Hours since it happened.

Exhaustion is starting to catch up with you but there is still so much to do.

News channels had broadcasted the breaking news of your father’s death.

You had personally called your siblings to deliver the news, they are to arrive tomorrow for the funeral at noon.  

Luther who had been expecting to relay dad his daily report status on the space radio, cussed at you in anger-those were the first words you heard in 12 years- calmed down and said that he will be there in 3 days, in time for the funeral.

‘Sweetie, I brought you some tea.’

‘Thanks mom.’ You take a sip. ‘Hey mom did you think you’re gonna be alright now that you know…. That dad is gone?’

She runs her fingers to your hair. ‘I’m gonna be fine dear, I am stronger than you know.’

You smile at her. You just can’t help but to think what’s gonna happen to her now that your dad is gone. Pushing that thought away-like she said, I am stronger than you know.

 ‘Now, why don’t we get you to bed.’ She cuts you off before you can say a word. ‘Uh uh. You have done so much already. You need rest especially with the funeral in 9 hours. Pogo and I can handle the remaining task.’

‘Thanks again mom.’

She tucks you into bed. ‘Good night y/n/n. Sweet Dreams.’ She kisses the top of your head. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too mom.’ As she leaves your room, you realised that you didn’t want to be alone. ‘Mom…’ You called out, almost childlike.

‘Yes dear.’ Grace makes her way back in.

‘Well you stay with me? Sing to me until I fall asleep?’

‘Ofcourse dear.’ She smiles, pulling up a chair beside your bed.

The lull of your mother’s voice sends you to sleep with the memories of the childhood before power. When everything was simple. When there was love in this household.

~

You awoke to sounds of screams and flashes of blue light. You hurry to your window, it shows the courtyard, a ball of blue chaos small black figures.

You pull on your jacket and ran downstairs, the clock in the foyer shows 11:37am. Crap you overslept! But that means…..that the figures you saw were your siblings. There are early….that’s new.

You arrived in the courtyard just as you see Klaus throws a fire extinguisher at the blue light.

‘What are you doing?!’ Shouted Luther.

‘What is that gonna do?’ Allison questioned.

‘I don’t know!!’ Klaus turned around ‘Do you have a better idea?—Oh hey y/n! Nice to see you!’ He ran over and gave you a tight hug. ‘What a family reunion ehh?’

Before you could reply, the ball of blue gave out a crackle of electricity.

‘Everyone get behind me!’ Luther pushes in front of everyone.

‘Yeah! Get behind us.’ Diego chimed in, pushing Vanya closer to you.

Vanya ignores Diego, trying to get a better look herself. ‘It looks like something is coming through!’

The ball of light exploded, the sudden burst of energy was blinding that you had to cover your eyes.

Then nothing, total darkness.

THUD. You heard Vanya scream.

‘Argh!’

The blue chaos had expelled something….someone.

Luther was the first to speak. ‘Who’s there?’

‘Show yourself!’ said Diego.

As a collective group, you walked towards the mystery person.

Your eyes go wide with shock. No it can’t be, it’s impossible. You must be seeing things.

‘Does anyone else see little Number Five, or is that just me?’ wondered Klaus.

Klaus looked around and saw that everyone showed that same face of disbelief. Pleased to know that it wasn’t the drugs, he snickered. ‘Now THIS! THIS IS WHAT I CALL A FAMILY REUNION.’

Little Five who didn’t seem to have aged a day since you last saw him,

It’s been years but seeing him looking like he did back when you last saw him, you recall the last words he had shouted at you.

‘get out of the way y/n! i don’t want to see your face anymore.’

Five looks down at himself drowned in tattered oversize clothes, wining. ‘SHIT!’

Something is wrong, something is very wrong and you know it.

No way was this all a coincidence for your father to warn you about some impending doom and have Five to reappear 17 years later. It must be related somehow…What’s next you thought……For Ben to come back to life too?

END OF PART 2

READ: [PART 1]  [PART 3]  [PART 4]

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Would love to hear your opinion on the series so far too!

[moosoobi]

Confessions

In the night: Chapter 2

T.Jeff- Hamilton: the musical 

Y/N can’t hold all her secrets. She’s tired of hiding. The people deserve the truth. Here’s her confession: the one she should’ve told us long ago

I started to write this chapter the day after I finished chapter 1, yet before the first chapter was even published (time management queen). As I’m typing this message, I’m currently distracting myself from finals LMAO. Anyway, I wanted to finish this chapter as soon as possible to give some explanation of the events in the previous chapter, so I hope I do exactly that. I’m still manifesting that I articulate through this story smoothly, please give me feedback <3 

MC (aka Y/N’s) POV 

Modern au 

Word Count: 5.4k

A few unrealistic realities, but I’m working with what I got

This chapter will most likely answer many questions about chapter 1 

THIS CHAPTER OCCURS AT THE SAME TIME AS CHAPTER 1! all events in this chapter line up with the events of chapter 1

Disclaimers: 

TW: violence, abuse, mentions of blood, themes of injury, itty bitty angst?

photo not mine <3

If you have any questions/concerns about this story, DONT BE SHY TO ASK ME! This is my first time writing a whole series, so I apologize if the plot gets confusing. 

-Now Playing: Broken Clocks by SZA-

Where to start… 

My attention was taken from Professor Washington’s lecture the moment I felt a pair of eyes attempting to pierce a hole in the back of my head. As I look back, I realize that it’s no one other than Thomas Jefferson, the spoiled francophile, or so people like the whisper, but gossip’s not my thing.

Upon being called out by Professor Washington, I couldn’t hold in my giggle as Thomas’s head ducks down in embarrassment. I suppose he sure knows how to lighten the demeanor in the lecture hall; It was a nice excuse to take my eyes off of Washington’s low-quality power-point presentation, but I appreciate that the man is trying. 

This class feels like it’ll last forever, and I contemplate if I could just perish in my seat at this very instant, yet Thomas’s presence seems to make it worthwhile. I don’t know him that much, or maybe at all for that matter, but since he’s been seen with a Schuyler, the locals around here can’t seem to keep their mouths shut about him. 

From what I’ve heard, he’s another silver-spoon raised boy representing Virginia up here in New York. A few scholarships here and there, as well as a trip to France for a semester. I don’t see what all the fuss is about; He seems like a pretty cool person, probably has an exciting life, and isn’t throwing away his shot. It’s odd, even with parents to piggyback off of, Thomas is very similar to a certain orphan I know. 

“Class is dismissed” Is all I heard from Professor Washington’s mouth before that obnoxious but relieving bell sounds off. 

Desperate to get out of this class, I hurry to put my stationery items into my burgundy-magenta backpack. You’d think after those turbulent years of high school that college would motivate me for fancier bags, but I can’t say no to my favorite color. It’s simple, won’t bring attention to my presence, unlike every other decision I’ve made in my life. 

After I finally finished packing up, I can’t wait to take a breath of the fresh, polluted air of New York City. I quickly spotted my roommate's car within the crowd of vehicles next to the sidewalk. He’s on time, as always, to pick me up from class, and I’m grateful that he sacrifices his time for me, but it’s not like he had a choice. I toss my bag into the trunk, surely crinkling a few important papers. Upon reaching the door of his expensive car, my roommate greets me with joy to see me. 

“How was class, Cherie?” 

Lafayette, my roommate, shoots a smile at me, his white teeth are almost blinding, but he always says I’m exaggerating. 

“Boring as always, but I’m still here, sadly” I say as I hop into the front seat of Lafayette’s car. He pouts in my direction 

“Ahh, c’mon, don’t be like that.” Once he acknowledges the buckling of my seatbelt, he begins to power up the car. “C’est la vie, Y/N” I roll my eyes, my hatred for him grows just a little more every time he says that. 

“Can we get McDonald’s?” I attempt to change the subject, earning a small chuckle from him. He prepares to drive off “You know I can't say no to you and your American junk food” 

And so we begin to drive off  

Lafayette and I indeed have a bit of history together. After I got mistakenly involved with Alexander and his clique, Lafayette was the next best (or worse) person to walk into my life. He’s sweet, charming, probably all the things Americans are not; the gentleman hails from France. Yet he’s so much more than that. 

Ever since I caught his eye at that obnoxious high school party, he and I hit the ground running. Disclosing the events which took place in his-

our bedroom won’t solve the problem, but the stubble on his jaw and the way he holds the steering wheel with one hand nearing my thigh reminds me of the unresolved sexual tension between the both of us. 

I’ve only been living in his apartment for a few months, an idea he proposed when I mentioned my dreadful rent. A nice view, nice coffee maker, and nice bedsheets were more than enough to convince me, but I know there’s more to that “nice” list that I shouldn’t disclose. 

Though I know his intentions were good, I’m sure he invited me into his abode to protect me from Alex. 

Since I began to band with Alex and his gang, Alexander’s been strict about getting me home on time. It wasn’t only because I was a helpless high school student, but also to prevent me from ratting him and his group out to the authorities. 

Upon joining Alex's posse, a strict curfew has been placed on me, only to ensure I stay safe at night, or perhaps to make sure I don’t betray them. 

Moving in with Lafayette made following this time limitation easier for me, especially since he volunteers to drive me home or takes a stand for me. If the unfortunate event of my arrival past my ‘bedtime’ timer occurs, Alexander ensures I pay the price.

Speaking of arrivals, Lafayette passes me a box of hot, salty fries and a smile spreads across my face. His eyes visibly soften as my entire demeanor changes.  

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best person ever?” I spilled my thoughts while stuffing my mouth with fries. He lightly chuckles, watching me. 

“Maybe a couple of times..” He prepares to drive off again “...too many times, actually.” he shot a wink at me. 

Blood didn’t have any time to rush to my cheeks before I could slap the side of his shoulder, causing him to whine in discomfort. I sigh before returning my focus to the steaming fries in front of me. The tension grows, and so does the silence between us. Eager to break the tension, I propose an idea. 

“Let’s go home?” we turn to each other at the same time 

“Oui.” 

---

I enter Professor Washington’s lecture hall and my attention is driven to the two curly-headed Virginians. I watch in secondhand embarrassment as Thomas Jefferson and his friend playfully argue in front of the entire class, seemingly a heated debate of the greatness of Mac and Cheese. One argues on behalf of the gooey pasta, while the other simultaneously retorts with a mix of “you’re so stupid” and “God help me”. 

Feeling a rush of confidence and suaveness, my brain urges my body to intervene in their conversation. Maybe it was to make new friends, or perhaps to stop the class from staring at their dumb dispute, but I swiftly walk over to them. The next few words to come out of my mouth fell into place oh-so-perfectly. 

“Hey, can I sit here?” 

Upon sitting in between the two Virginians, they introduce themselves. The calmer, self-collected man among the two introduced himself as James Madison, while the bolder, upbeat man introduced himself as no other than Thomas Jefferson. Both of them seemed happy that I interrupted and decided to reach out to them, maybe one was a tad more excited than the other. 

And ever since then, Professor Washington can’t seem to split up our trio. From childish jokes and a few inappropriate inferences, Thomas and James make great company. The idiotic smile that spreads across Thomas’s face whenever he’s capable of making James and I break our silence during class would become more annoying than Lafayette saying “C’est la vie” whenever I make a poor life decision. 

Nevertheless, Thomas and James dangerously remind me of Alexander and his goons. The abundant amount of self-praise and cocky remarks said by both Thomas and Alexander is almost astronomical. In the case of Thomas and Alexander’s meeting, I’m sure they’d be the best of friends. But likewise, I could also envision the two attempting to tear each other's heads off, the chaotic clashing of two powerful minds. 

They always know what to say and when to say it. I’ve never met anyone as clever as Thomas and James, and they’re even worse when they’re together.  

“‘ ‘s Adams here today? Washington told me to turn in my papers t’ him.” Thomas whispers as he eases into his chair, Washington’s booming voice seems to become background noise to us 

“Is he ever?” I reply, attempting not to giggle at my own response “I haven’t seen him since Washington initially introduced him to the class.” 

“Maybe he’s jus’ sick or somethin’. Kinda reminds me of you, James'' His head of curls turns to stare down James, in which James replies by rolling his eyes 

“He can stay home, he does the same amount of work there anyways.” James cleverly retorted. 

And that seemed to be our last straw before bursting out in laughter. Thomas’s body flung forward as he laughed his head off, James ducking his head to hide his glee behind his laptop, and I quickly slap a hand over my mouth to prevent anyone around us from drawing suspicion. But apparently, Washington wasn’t having our disguises. 

“Can the three of you even tell me what I just said?” Washington turns around from the board to scan the crowd, his eagle eyes find us quickly 

The silence was all we could emit, and soon enough, He turned back to his lesson. I sigh with relief; the last thing I need is to get kicked out of a class I don’t even pay for. 

…

...

“Washington sure got a shiny ass head. D’you think he uses shampoo and conditioner?” Whispered Thomas as he leans over to me 

And just like that,  we’re faced with the same struggle all over again.

—-

Lafayette adjusted the hot pan, erupting a few sizzles. The wall clock ticked, the hour arm froze pointing to the “11” written in roman numerals. Lafayette and I decided to agree on a home-cooked meal, and although it’s too late for an average dinner, yet too early to be defined as a midnight snack, I’m sure Lafayette’s cooking will satisfy me for the night. 

“Y/NN, would you prefer salt on your omelet? Or did you decide to be healthy tonight?” He said holding a salt shaker in the air to steal my focus from the swirling red liquid in my glass. 

My head lifts to meet his eyes. I tilt my head, the wine causing me to ponder for a little longer than I should’ve. He continues to stare at me, holding in a laugh, before I force myself to nod. 

“Yeah.. a little won’t hurt” I hear him chuckle at my drunken dialect, but I know the French man isn’t about to lecture me about English “Your wish is my command.” 

I watch as he conducts the kitchen perfectly. He knows where everything is, exactly what to add into the sizzling pan, maybe even the exact second to take the meal off the flame. 

“I thought you weren’t a fan of monarchy?” the sarcasm was evident in my tone “but I appreciate the submission” I shot him a playful wink, to which he responds with a pompous smirk

A few sips of wine later, I recognize notification that has been staring back at me for hours. 

1 Message from Thomas

A text from Thomas? And I’m barely seeing this now? I silently scold myself for giving into the wine before opening the message.

“Thomas: Hey this is Thomas from class, wanna come study with us at the library sometime?”

My eyes become glued to my phone. It was certainly necessary for me to reread Thomas’s text, I was unsure if the alcohol was beginning to make me see odd things, but I assured myself I was correct.

I could feel the blush spread across my face. Maybe it’s just the wine taking control, or maybe it’s the butterflies in my stomach forming every time I reread his message. A harmless invite, perhaps evoked from Thomas due to James stroking his ego, but I know James’ wouldn’t promote such a bold, straight-forward message. Though Thomas is known for his meticulous confidence and certainty, a message this simple could be notably deceiving. 

But a little socializing won’t damage my self-respect. “Be bold, Y/N” is what I used to tell myself at the beginning of the semester, and what do I have to lose? I begin to type my reply.

“Y/N: yeah I’m down :) just send a time and place and I’ll be on my way”

Sent.

 My introspection was soon interrupted by the screeching plate being slid in my direction by Lafayette, the steam circulating the meal 

“Y/N, Mangeons.” My head comes up from my phone, my eyes meet his eyes momentarily. 

“Thanks, Laf.” I reply before taking a fork from him and digging into the steaming meal ahead of me. Lafayette’s cooking never disappoints. Ever. 

My body couldn’t help but pick up my phone every few minutes to respond to Thomas’s messages, Though they were just the details of the hangout-offer he previously proposed, I felt enclosed in my little bubble while texting him. Those few moments of interaction with him somehow made my day better. I’m sure even Lafayette could see my radiating energy, but I’m not sure how he took it.

We’re technically not a couple; a few hookups and moving in together don't make us an official couple, right? 

“Merci, Laffy.” I watched as he visibly cringed at my poor attempt at french. “Let’s just stick to our mother tongues, angel.” He retorted. I laughed it off, yet inside his reply left a scratch on my pride. 

--- 

Another class of absolute foolery and childish inferences, and I can’t help but laugh as Thomas, James, and I exit the lecture hall. The New-York cold hits us harshly, but being about a month into this semester, students already know what to expect. 

It was indeed embarrassing, running to Lafayette’s car to remind him of your library study session. 

“Alright, I’ll pick you up before your curfew, okay?” He asked with one hand on the wheel. His faux-leather jacket contorting around his toned arms made it difficult not to remember the moments they shared around midnight. The imagery of their candle-lit room appearing in her head as he sat at the wheel stopped her from replying for a moment. 

“Y-Yeah sounds great. You’re the best, you know that?” She thanked him for sacrificing his time to make sure she arrives home on time. 

“You remind me all the time.” He sneaks in a small wink between his sentences “I’ll see you tonight, Cherie” 

Y/N smiled before turning around to prance over to her friends. Y/N heard the faint sounds of Lafayette driving off, sighing in relief

After briefly explaining my situation to the boys, we quickly head over to the library. 

A woman in a coral-pink blazer and pants set is waiting impatiently at a table she rented out just for us. “What in the world took you guys so long?” She pressured for an answer 

“C’mon Angie, that wasn’t even ten minutes.” Thomas rolled his eyes before removing his backpack and opening a chair for Y/N. Real smooth, Thomas, I can’t lie. He looked over to me, seeing stars in my eyes as I realize I’m standing next to the oldest Schuyler.

 “You’re-” She interrupted me with a smile, sticking out her hand to shake mine

“Angelica Schuyler. And you?” I swear her name sounds familiar. I’m sure I’ve heard it around but I just can't place it. I do see her on my social media feed from time to time, and I must admit, she looks even more heavenly in person. 

“Y/N L/N.” My hand meets hers in a firm handshake. 

“Nice to meet you.” 

—-

At first, I thought nothing of it. 

Though Lafayette’s text at 7:30 (on the dot) did push me out of my zone, I did appreciate his promise to me. 

Thomas on the other hand seemed disturbed by my sudden leave, but it’s not like he’d understand. Alexander would literally kill me if I were home late.

But Thomas and I would continue to hang out. His evening texts would slowly become a weekly routine. Whether it was a scary movie or an ice cream date for just the two of us, he always found a way to spend time with me. 

“Don’t tell me that mint chocolate chip is actually your favorite flavor, darlin’.” He adjusted his position on the park bench and raised an eyebrow, his gaze focused on the green ice cream atop my ice cream cone “You might make me regret takin’ you out tonight” he chuckled and I couldn’t help but smile 

“You know you love me” I jokingly retorted, scooping part of my ice cream with my tongue, and relaxing against the bench.

It’s very rare to get to relax like this. Not only am I a fully-fledged college student, but also one of Alexander’s goons. The weekends are merely just ‘weekdays: the sequel’, but add forbidden literature and alcohol to that equation.

I look back up to Thomas, seeing his disgusted face. “Wait.. are you actually against mint chocolate chip ice cream?” I cocked an eyebrow towards him

He shrugged before chuckling “I recall telling you of my unfortunate arguments while visiting England..” 

“..so what does mint chocolate chip ice cream have to do with your political upheavals in a foreign country?” 

He smirked in an ‘all knowing’ manner. “Well, Darlin, if you did your research—“

“—You’ve got to be kidding me—“I start to wonder why I even asked 

“—you’d learn that the monstrosity in your ice cream cone, mint chocolate chip, originated in England.” He completed his statement with triumph “Ever since my disagreements in England, I swore to despise such a concoction until the day I die.” 

I looked at him like he was crazy. “I can’t believe you did your research on English creations. You’re so dramatic sometimes” I respond 

“Hey, I wouldn’t be a Jefferson if I wasn’t.” He stared back to his cone, the mesmerizing ice cream almost reflecting himself back at him. 

We shared silence for a moment. Words were unnecessary when we were together. 

“I suppose..” Jefferson started “...I might be able to tolerate mint chocolate chip ice cream, but only for you, though.” He turned towards my direction 

My eyes soon met his. “Well, I’m honored to be your exemption, Jefferson.” I smile with triumph, recognizing my effect on him. 

He swiftly takes my hand, his skin feels burning compared to mine. Our eyes remain connected as he dips his head down to kiss the back of my hand. I attempt to hide the fact that my heart stopped beating for a moment, but the breath hitching in my throat wouldn’t help me at all. 

“Let’s drop the formalities, Darlin, you can call me Thomas now.” My hand remained between his. I try my best to keep my hand still, wanting to marinate in this moment forever. 

A new feeling courses through my body. Something unfamiliar. Perhaps it’s the charm of a Southern Gentleman. Maybe the feeling of being treated right for the first time, something I’ve never experienced from anyone.

What have I ever done to deserve this chivalrous kindness? 

‘What a gentleman’ I repeat to myself in my mind. What makes him so different from the others? 

From a simple kiss, I suddenly crave more.

More than the unresolved sexual tension between Lafayette and I. 

More than I was ever granted the opportunity to. 

Maybe ‘more’ is what I deserve. 

My mind bleeds with the thought of Lafayette, but Thomas seems like he has so much more to offer. What if I do deserve to be happy? I may not have earned it, but who gets to declare my right to happiness? I was once happy with Lafayette, but the times have changed

He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas.

---

But no matter how much I enjoyed spending time with Jefferson himself, I was always the first one to leave. I had to. 

I remember the way his smile would fall at the sound of Lafayette’s car horn. 

The way his jaw tenses whenever my phone vibrates across the table 

Whenever Lafayette came to pick me up, I also can’t help but feel a part of my soul crack within me. 

“I’ll see you this weekend?” He kisses the back of my hand once more in an attempt to savor this moment, continuing to maintain eye contact.

“I’ll try, Thomas. Not sure if I’m busy.” I sigh with fatigue. “But I’ll let you know.” 

“Alright. Get home safe, darlin’” I hear him stand from the park bench as I wander to Lafayette’s car, his eyes following my figure. 

I hop into Lafayette’s car before taking one last glance in Thomas’s direction, watching as his figure begins to walk in the opposite direction that our car was heading. 

“Ahh, Y/N. Don’t tell me you’re cheating on me” his sarcastic tone wouldn’t pierce deep enough. 

I speak without thinking. “I do recall you claiming that you and I were never a couple, remember Laf?” My change in demeanor was certain to shut him up. And he did. 

He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas. 

I remained turned away from Lafayette as we drove through the city. The memories built between Lafayette and I constantly falls like a house of cards, but I prefer to avoid the subject.

Lafayette felt otherwise, yet respected my choice. 

He was the first to speak.

“Alexander needs me for a transport this weekend.” He stated, “I’m not sure when I’ll get back, so it’s very important that you get back from whatever plans you have before your curfew.” He takes a glance over to me and briefly meets my eyes 

“Don’t test the waters, Y/N.”

Ah yes, the monthly literature transportation of Alexander’s gang. 

The Notorious Sons of Liberty. 

A popular group roaming the streets of New York. But instead ironically of selling drugs or performing homicide, they produce and sell illegal, banned literature and disperse them to the highest bidders. 

How else do you think I pay for college? 

Although gang violence isn’t really their thing, that doesn’t mean they’re not in possession of such weaponry and devices. I’ve never seen anyone take literature as seriously as they do.

They’re also known for their bold publicity stunts, which are indeed fun to watch from a nearby coffee shop. Watching Alexander, Lafayette, and some other friends, John and Herc, run from the authorities on a Sunday afternoon, accidentally laughing at the sight of John tripping over his own feet, Lafayette mouthing ‘help us out’ in my direction. Very entertaining. 

On the contrary, their security on me has become tighter and tighter. I know they worry for the gang’s reputation over my safety, but it feels nice to imagine having a battalion of book-worm gang members watching over you. 

“I know, I know. You guys can stop treating me like a kid” I attempt to contain a giggle to portray my seriousness. 

He takes a glance at me before returning his attention to the road. “You cannot say that until you have another way home other than me.” He sighed rather loudly 

“Be careful, or I might do just that, Lafayette.” 

---

I sipped on wine and ate cheese at Thomas’s place without a care in the world on a Saturday night. Of course, I had to accept Thomas’s offer, I never knew how to say no to him. 

Jefferson has sure been taking his sweet time to put a title on us. Now, I’m no philosopher when it comes to dating, but Ice cream at the park, fancy dinners, and wine and cheese sure sound romantic. 

My night was going well. All until the 7:30 alarm on my phone rang, and before I knew it, everything began to go downhill

[events of chapter 1]

And next thing I knew, the cold New York air slapped my face, following the harsh slam of the apartment door. 

As my adrenaline began to settle down, panic rushed through my body. 

Fuck. At this rate, I won’t be home until after my curfew. Although my immediate instinct was to sprint my way home, those thoughts were quickly followed by the idea of passing out within five minutes. My apartment isn’t too far, but being fueled by wine and cheese doesn’t sound like the best idea. 

“Don’t test the waters, Y/N” echoed throughout my head. 

I begin to walk down the street before whipping out my phone to contact an Uber. 

The small talk produced between my driver and I worked a bit to calm myself down, but that would all change the moment I walked through my apartment door. 

Once I turn back around from locking the door, I’m met with exactly what I didn’t want to see at this very moment. 

Lafayette stood staring at me, his lips pursed with anxiousness, recognizing my significantly late arrival. 

Hercules, another good friend I’ve met through the sons of liberty, stood beside Lafayette. His mouth hung open in shock as he also recognized my mistake. 

John, the group’s smallest yet mightiest, leaned against the wall, perhaps planning my fate right in front of me 

And none other than Alexander Hamilton himself, sipping scotch on my couch, similarly to how I was not too long ago at Thomas’s place. The glare on his face quickly reminded me that I was in big trouble. 

“Y/N, I thought I told you—“ Lafayette began but was quickly interrupted 

“You’re late.” He swirled his drink before standing up. The clock ticked, and the hour hand notably passed the 8:30 symbol. I was not getting out of this one. 

Although I feared for the following moments, I attempted to contain my emotions within myself. I kept my straight face for the time being. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. 

“I’m well aware.” That came out of my mouth  a little too harsh for my liking 

“May I remind you that being out past your curfew could severely damage our image.” 

I saw John look over to Alex from the corner of my eye. The air became thinner if that were even possible, and I refused to meet his eyes.

“And I do recall reminding you of your consequences.” He walked towards me and I felt my heart froze. “Having you out so late could raise some suspicions among our competitors, L/N.” 

I couldn’t find the right words and resort to nodding instead 

“I always fucking told you—“ he harshly slammed his drink onto the table beside him “—not to test the waters—” 

“—I-I know—“

“So why the fuck are you stumbling in here past your curfew?”

 At this very moment, I wondered if I had pulled the last straw. 

I couldn’t speak. God forbid I spat out the wrong words. Contained within my thoughts, I didn’t acknowledge Alexander closing the distance between us. 

“Ow!--” I watched as Alex shoved me to the wall, the moment playing in slow motion in my head. 

Lafayette’s throat grew dry “Hey, Alex, Calm dow-” 

He was interrupted by the sound of Alexander harshly slapping me across the face. My hands quickly went to soothe what felt like fire burning my cheek. 

“We do so much for you, Y/N.” Alex growled 

The sharp pain in my side grew, almost echoing throughout my body. I could feel my body giving up on itself. I mean, this wouldn’t be the first time Alex has acted like this. 

Occasionally, Alex would stop by Lafayette and I’s apartment just to ensure I was home before my curfew, and he wasn’t the most forgiving. 

--He owns an apartment key and has every single one of his gang member’s location tracked on his phone. Sometimes I wondered what was so special about us to have to keep all of us in check 24/7--

One time Hercules and I went shopping a little too late after sunset, part of me felt like a reckless teenager, probably because I was. I still remember Alexander’s face when I entered my own apartment, he looks identical every time. 

In an attempt to shelter me, my body curled into itself against the wall. I shrunk to the floor, feeling his shadow intensely stand above me. 

“Arghh!—“ the sound spilled out of me when I felt Alexander’s shin connect with my rib cage. 

My lungs felt punctured under the pressure.

My arms felt like they could give out any second.

Part of me had wished I’d stay at Thomas’s place tonight, even if it meant telling him the truth. 

What a predicament I’ve gotten myself into. 

I looked up, wondering if my torment was over until I was met with a —Crack— Alexander’s knee encountered my face. 

It was only a moment before I could hear the shuffling of the others’ shoes. I prayed they were coming to help me out.

Alexander lifted his glass of alcohol, previously forgotten, and hauled it towards me

Crash! 

The piercing shards of glass combining with the stinging alcohol were the last thing I needed on a Saturday night. I didn’t notice the tears falling from my eyes until now, and the way my heart felt like it was just on a rollercoaster. 

I kept my head low, watching blood drip down my face and onto the floor below me. And apparently, I wasn’t the only one to notice. 

“Alex! What the fuck?!” I heard Laurens yell

“Are you trying to kill her?!?” I recognized Lafayette’s scream

Before Alex was able to make another blow, Lauren and Lafayette were quick to hold him back, attempting to calm him down. 

Hercules swiftly knelt beside me, the guilt was obvious in his gaze. I hated the pity in each of their glances towards me. He attempted to wipe away the blood from my forehead with a paper towel. 

Alexander fought back against the two, trying his best to prove his point. There’s the Hamilton we all know, unwilling to stand down no matter the cost.

Hercules turned back to me, his words were ready to leave his mouth from the moment we reconnected eyes. 

“Y/N..” He pulled me up and shoved me out of my apartment door. “..Run.” I almost stumbled into a nearby pole, but I began running, if running in my condition was possible, back to Thomas’s place. 

—-

[events of chapter 1]

The next thing I knew, I woke up in Thomas’s bed beside him. I took a moment to soak in the feeling of his satin sheets. Part of me can’t recall the events before I passed out in front of Thomas’s apartment, or maybe my mind refuses to remember them. 

The sun hasn’t risen yet. 

I turn to my side and reach for my phone, wincing from the pressure applied to my rib cage. 

The bright light of my phone hitting my eyes felt like I was transported to another dimension. 

54 notifications: 

12 calls from Lafayette 🥐

24 texts from Lafayette 🥐

1 text from Alexander 💡

3 calls from Mariah 💋

14 texts from Mariah 💋

“oh fuck..” I sigh, wondering how things will play out. 

Out of curiosity, I open the message from Alexander. Perhaps it’s an apology? Maybe a reminder? 

Alexander 💡: I know where you are, Y/N. Don’t drag your friend into this. Because I can.

Where I am? I ask myself

My heart dropped, remembering that Alexander tracks my location 24/7. He knows where I am at this very second. 

By escaping to Thomas’s apartment, I’ve just dragged him into this mess I’ve made. If my worlds collide, it would all be because I ran to this exact apartment. 

Panic once again rushed through my body. 

I need to get out of here. I need to leave. 

I slip out from under the sheets and grab my belongings. Unprepared for what’s to come, I steal one of Thomas’s jackets from his cluttered desk chair. I’ll give it back eventually, I thought to myself. 

After I put on my shoes I take one last glance toward Thomas. 

He seems so peaceful when he’s asleep, tangled in his blanket, not to mention his name-brand Mac and cheese pajama pants. 

I’m sorry if I drag you into this, Thomas, you just wouldn’t understand.

Taglist <3: @kenmacrumbs @strayblades  @laic2299 @ohsoverykeri

[dustofinsanity]

𝐺𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑂𝑣𝑒𝑟

Yugyeom / Readerㅤ ㅤㅤFriends to loversㅤ ㅤㅤWords count: 4.4k

Summary: Sick of the game Yugyeom was playing with you, you decided to move on. But, losing you wasn't in his plan.

Content/Warning: Romance/Fluff, Angst.

Notes: Thank you soooooo much @jj-nyoung​ for correcting this fic that was literally dying in the list. 💜

Notes 2: Thank you papa owner, aka @defsenses​, for saving my life and making the gif. 💜

Everytime you were thinking about the first day you met your best friend, a soft smile stretched your lips, replaying the scene in your mind, seeing this adorable little boy running to you in the park and telling your mom he would take care of your scratched knee like the little superhero he was. You would never forget your mother's chuckle and the serious expression on the boy's face when he was cleaning your small wound and applying a cartoon bandage on it. You never understood why this mini superhero stopped playing with his friends to help you but, since that day, you always felt blessed to have him in your life. With time, though, the little superhero turned into an annoying and teasing young man. Yugyeom became the kind of men you couldn't stand but it was stronger than you and you always forgave him for being such a pain in the ass almost all the time. Actually, your feelings were stronger than you. It sounded so cliché but yes, you were one of those people who fell in love with their best friend. He was the only person in this world to whom you could say what was on your heart and in your mind, all your secrets, or at least almost all considering you never had the courage to tell him what you were feeling for him. You spent all your school years watching him date a lot of girls, thinking that none of them deserved him. In the end you were right, since you saw your best friend coming back at you, saying he wasted his time once again. Deep inside, you wanted to tell him he wouldn't waste his time with you but you always retained yourself, just saying you would always be here for him. The more you were thinking about it, the more you were finding this situation stupid. It looked like a romantic but cheesy drama show, the kind of things you didn't really liked. But, a day, things seemed to get better and when Yugyeom asked if you would be okay to be his roommate, you thought it was your chance to show him the perfect girlfriend you could be for him. So you moved in with him... And that's when your nightmare started. You knew your best friend was a player, collecting one night stands as you were collecting miniature perfume bottles but you didn't know it was that bad. Two or three girls each week! You even ended comforting some of those girls, offering them tea and saying Yugyeom wasn't ready to start a serious relationship when he dumped them without any explanation. But, to be honest, you didn't know if he would be ready some day. Like your best friend told you during one of your movie nights, he didn't want to get hurt so he preferred one night stands, like that, he didn't take any risk. And, like you told him, it was stupid but you knew you couldn't change his mind as long as he was satisfied with this kind of life. This is why you were never surprised when you saw another girl cuddling with Yugyeom on the couch - when they weren't doing something else, upon arriving at home. "Sorry but who are you?" your best friend's soon-to-be one night stand asked with a hint of arrogance in her voice, looking at you from head to toe while you were walking to the open kitchen of your apartment. "We want to be alone." "Gyeom, could you tell your toys that I'm also living here when you take them home?" you sighed loudly, taking a glass of cold water and drinking it in one go. "Toys?!" she choked and stood up, coming angrily towards you. "Who the fuck do you think you are?!" "I think I'm the one who will break your knees and make you swallow your teeth if you don't watch your tone," you calmly answered, facing and giving her a fake smile. "What's wrong, honey?" Yugyeom finally spoke, coming to you and wrapping his arms around your waist, not giving any attention to the girl who was staring at both of you with eyes wide open. "Long day," you told him, closing your eyes and tilting a bit your head when he softly put a kiss on it. Not understanding what was going on, Yugyeom's "date" furiously picked up her stuff and started to walk to the front door when she noticed your best friend didn't try to stop her. His arms still around you, he told her from the kitchen it was nice to know her and wished her a good night before hearing the door slam. Even if you weren't sorry at all, you still apologised to your friend for ruining his plans but, putting his lips back against your head, Yugyeom told you not to mention it. You were far more important than that chick and a movie night with you always sounded better than anything else for him. A discreet chuckle parted your lips when you heard these words because you knew he meant them, you knew you were more important than those girls to him. You were his best friend, his lovely little woman, his honey like he always called you, his everything. Sometimes, he even told you he would date you if you weren't that perfect for him. And, everytime, it broke your heart a bit more. But, everytime, you forgave him for being this stupid handsome man and ended on the couch, nestled in his arms, listening to his heartbeat while a movie was playing on the TV and he slowly stroke your hair.

"And how long this shitty situation will last?" Jaebeom asked, sipping his beer at the counter while you were serving another bottle to Jinyoung. "Yugyeom can be really oblivious and he could take time before figuring out your feelings." "Take time?" Jinyoung repeated, chuckling. "I would say an eternity. We are talking about Yugyeom." "I really want to tell you to be nicer with him but... You're totally right," you sighed, taking a sip of your soda and making the three of you laugh. You really loved these men, they were like older brothers for you and always gave you pretty good advices, except when Jinyoung told you to kick Yugyeom's ass, though... Anyway! Even if they were Yugyeom's friends first, when they met you, they immediately welcomed you in the group and acted like if you were their mascot, protecting and taking care of you as if they knew you since forever. Jinyoung was the first to notice the feelings you had for your best friend and, patting your shoulder, told you it would be a long hard way before opening Yugyeom's eyes. He didn't want to discourage you but, like Jaebeom, he just wanted you to be happy and not waste your time for someone who couldn't see how nice and sweet you were. "So, how long will you endure this?" Jaebeom asked once again, giving you a kind of concerned look. You slightly opened your mouth to answer you would talk with Yugyeom about the situation and your feelings when your best friend entered the bar, a large smile on his lips, waving at the three of you. You felt your heart race in your chest when he sat next to his friends but it broke as soon as Seolhyun, your beautiful new co-worker, joined you to ask how she could cancel an order on the cash desk, apologising for the inconvenience. You never saw Yugyeom looking at a woman like that, you never saw that many stars in his mesmerizing eyes. At this moment, you knew what you had to do and, before following the young woman to show her how to cancel that order, you looked at Jinyoung and Jaebeom. "It ends today."

Another day went and you found yourself alone in your new studio, watching a horror movie you probably watched a hundred times before, eating some junk food and thinking about your last disastrous date. After that day at the bar, Yugyeom asked you to introduce him to Seolhyun and, heartbroken, you accepted, knowing your co-worker was, after all, a nice woman. They started dating and, after almost a month, when you noticed Seolhyun was spending a lot of time at your apartment and when it became too hard to handle for you, you decided to move out, renting a small studio alone, not far away from your workplace. Caught off guard, Yugyeom didn't understand why you wanted to move away from him so suddenly, asking if he did something wrong, promising you not to do it again, breaking your heart even more without knowing it. Faking an amused smile like a pro, you told him you just wanted to give him space since he was, visibly, in a serious relationship, adding he could always come at your place anytime he wanted, giving him a spare key of your apartment. At first, you thought that living alone would help you moving on, to forget the feelings you had for your best friends, you really wished that. You even tried to date some men who, you had to admit, were as handsome, smart and funny. But there was a problem... They weren't Yugyeom. All your dates have led to nothing and, in the end, you ended staying just friends with these guys. Thinking about it, you believed it was better like that, you didn't want to use them to forget your long one-sided love, they didn't deserve that. On his side, your best friend was kind of living the same thing. Seolhyun made him happy but not like you did. She didn't smile like you would when he was coming back home. She didn't sigh like you did when he kissed the side of her head. The contact of her skin wasn't as sweet as yours even if his girlfriend's skin had nothing wrong. Seolhyun wasn't you and, day after day, it became a bit too hard to handle for the young man. "Hey, Gyeom, what's up?" you friendly asked when you picked up his call. "I miss you," he pouted on the other end of the line. "I want to see you." "We just saw each other three hours ago," you chuckled, sitting onto your couch, a cup of hot chocolate in your free hand. "Take Seolhyun on a romantic date. I can give you some good addresses if you want to." "I broke up with her," he dropped, hearing you gasp slightly and chuckling discreetly at how your face would look like at the moment. "She's cool but I think I didn't really love her. So! Now she won't come here anymore, you can come back!" Your heart dropped in your chest, weighing like a rock and making you suffer like it never did before. Of course, you wanted to come back. Of course, you wanted to run in Yugyeom's arms and spend other long movie nights snuggled against his chest. Of course, you wanted to be by his side. But, you couldn't, it was too hard for you and you promised not to fall into this again. Slightly, you sighed and then told him you preferred to stay at yours, lying about the fact you liked your studio. Clenching his teeth and pretending he understood, Yugyeom agreed, asking what you were doing the day after and proposing a movie night together since you didn't spend one together since he started dating your co-worker. "I'm pretty busy that week," you lied once again, not wanting to tell him you planned a few dates with a guy, Kim Sangjin, that Jinyoung introduced to you a few days ago. "I'll call you as soon as I have time, I promise," you sadly smiled before wishing him a good night and hanging up. Your phone in your hand, you looked at your lock screen - a picture of Yugyeom and you - letting your tears roll down your cheeks without trying to hold them when your best friend's name popped up. Gyeom: I know you will come back at home. You can't live without me. Love you, honey. It was stronger than you and you threw your phone against the wall, seeing it explode against the wallpaper. You promised yourself that, if you couldn't move on, you at least wouldn't fall into that shitty situation again, you wouldn't fall deeper for Yugyeom but your heart was deciding otherwise. The joy in his voice when he said you could come back was echoing in your head. His words, that were absolutely true, were flashing before your eyes. He was right, you couldn't live without him but you had no choice.

Jaebeom and Jinyoung were sipping their beers at the counter and waiting for their girlfriends when, putting back his bottle on the varnished wood, Jaebeom asked his friend if he thought you would gave a chance to date Sangjin after everything you have been going through because of Yugyeom. "Honestly, I don't know," Jinyoung shrugged, putting his bottle next his friend's. "I think it will take time for her to forget this idiot but I really hope she will managed to do it. Y/n is a good girl, she deserves to be happy and move on. I don't know if she will give Sangjin his chance but if he can help her forget about Yugyeom, she should give it a chance." "Why would Y/n want to forget me?" Yugyeom suddenly asked behind his friends, frowning. "And who is Sangjin?" "Because you're a fucking idiot," Jaebeom sighed without turning to the youngest and took a sip of his beer. "And Sangjin could be Y/n's future boyfriend with a little luck," Jinyoung added, imitating his best friend. "Where are they?" Jaebeom asked why Yugyeom wanted to know where he could find you but your best friend cut him off, forcing him to turn around and face him while growling at the elders to tell him where you were. "Don't you think she's suffered enough because of you?" Jinyoung asked, glaring at Yugyeom. "You're so stupid and blind that you never saw the feelings she's always had for you." "Now that she can be happy, you want to ruin it?" Jaebeom added, taking off Yugyeom's hand from his shoulder. "You don't deserve her." "Please. Just tell me where they are," Yugyeom almost begged, head down, his lower jaw shaking slightly. "I just want to talk to her." The two elders looked at each other, a brow raised and gave in with a sigh. Telling their younger not to make you suffer once again or they would come after him, they told him he could find you in a coffee shop four blocks from the bar. Immediately, Yugyeom left the bar and ran to your dating place, hoping there was still a chance. Hoping he still had a chance. In the coffee shop, next to the window that allowed people to watch the street life, you were waiting for Sangjin. He sent you a text ten minutes ago, saying he would be late for your third date because there was a little emergency with one of his friends. When you read his message, you couldn't help but chuckle, thinking about how many people would take this kind of message pretty badly, while you were just understanding and answering that there wasn't any problem and you would wait for him. If you had to be honest, and even if you tried your best to make things work with Sangjin, deep inside, you knew you would never fall in love with him. Although he was nice and funny, he was still missing something, something you always looked for in men and that only Yugyeom had. You couldn't say what but you knew it was the reason why you couldn't love someone else than your best friend. Even if you promised yourself, Jaebeom and Jinyoung, not to let anyone make you suffer ever again, lately, you couldn't not think about your last movie night with Yugyeom. Not wanting him to feel put aside or left behind, you agreed to one of those Wednesday nights and as usual, it was great. Well, no, it wasn't as usual and it wasn't great. It was different, almost perfect. When you were both living together, it wasn't unusual that you ended in each other arms, cuddled on the couch, kissed each other’s forehead or, sometimes, even shared the same bed. And these mornings were the best. You loved opening your eyes and seeing his face inches aways from yours, a slight smile stretching his lips. Damn you wanted to kiss him every single time! But, on that Wednesday night, you didn't sleep at Yugyeom's, you just spent the night watching a movie you already saw a lot of times but still liked, nestled in his arms, your head on his chest while his chin was on the top of your head and his fingers softly running along your arm. Even if you already spent a hundred of nights like this one, that night seemed different, Yugyeom seemed different. His touch, his voice, his heartbeat or the way he was looking at you. Everything seemed different. A long sigh parting your lips, you tried to throw your thoughts away when the door of the coffee shop opened. Raising your head up with a smile on your lips, you were expecting to see Sangjin but the man who walked to your table wasn't him. He was the one you wanted to forget. "What are you-" you started to ask when Yugyeom picked up your bag and grabbed your wrist, forcing you to stand up and leave the place while everyone's eyes were on you. He wasn't listening to you, bringing you away from the coffee shop with his fingers tightly gripped around your wrist and anger in his eyes. "It hurts, Gyeom!" you shouted, taking off your arm from his grip and massaging it, making your best friend turn to you, mouth slightly open. "What's wrong with you? Are you crazy?!" "Who's that Sangjin?" Yugyeom almost growled, trying to hide the pain in his voice. "Did you avoid me because of him?" "Gyeom, it's not what-" "Tell me!" "I'm not avoiding you, It's just that-" "That you want to forget me for this bastard?!" he cut you off once again, a mix of so many feelings in his voice. "Do you want to date him? Really?" "Let me finish, please," you sighed, lowering your head and swallowing. "I'm tired, Gyeom, I really am. I'm tired of our game, I'm tired to play the perfect best friend when I want to be more than that. I want someone who really loves me, I want someone who can give me the affection and attention I need. There was a time I thought you could be that person," you told him, raising your head and looking straight into his beautiful eyes without noticing the tears that were escaping from yours. "But I was wrong. I loved you, Gyeom, I loved you with all my heart and, somehow, I always will but I can’t play this game anymore. It hurts too much." Softly, you cupped his face between your hands and, tip-toeing, put a chaste kiss on his lips, whispering you wished him to be happy before turning and leaving.

Standing in front of the countertop while making your daily smoothie and bobbing your head to the rhythm of the music playing in the living room, you didn't notice the young man coming behind you until he wrapped an arm around your waist and landed a hand on your left hip. Softly, he nuzzled his nose in your neck, his wet hair dripping on your shoulder and water running down your spine. You couldn't help but shiver and closed your eyes, tilting your head on the side where he put a kiss right behind your ear. "Smells good," the young man whispered before sinking into your neck once more. "What are you making tonight?” "Banana, red berries and, as always, rice milk," you listed, dropping all the fruits in the blender before adding the healthy drink. "Your ears." You knew he didn't really like the sound of the household appliance but, instead of putting his hands on his ears, he covered yours, making you chuckle slightly. As soon as the smoothie was ready to be poured in the glasses, your boyfriend wrapped his arm around your middle again and released a low growl when your phone vibrated in your shorts’ back-pocket. You both knew who was texting you. The man behind you didn't like the fact you were receiving messages from a guy, especially this one and, trying to keep his anger to himself, asked if he could finally leave you alone. "Be nice with him, please. He just misses me," you slightly chuckled, hitting his ribs playfully with your elbow. "He was late, he lost." "Actually, you were late," you reminded him, giving your boyfriend a quick look before focusing on the glasses you were filling. "He almost succeeded, by the way. I really wanted to go back to him." "But you didn't," he replied, tightening his grip around your waist. "And he's pretty mad at you about that," you couldn't help but laugh when he told you the other man could come after him and that he would fight and win anyway. "That's a pretty good idea. Your bodies covered by sweat while you would be both fighting for me. Oh, I’m shivering!" You laughed once again when your boyfriend playfully sunk his teeth into your skin and softly slapped your left cheek before squeezing it through the fabric of your shorts. Whispering he would wait for you on the balcony, he brought two slices of the apple pie you cooked that day and left the kitchen, starting to eat his share on his way. Smoothies in hands, you joined him a few seconds later and sat next to him in the two persons egg chair, your legs on his lap. Raising an eyebrow, your boyfriend wondered why you weren't answering to the other man’s text but you replied your friend could wait. "Do you regret, sometimes?" he shyly asked, looking straight as you, concerne visible in his eyes. "Oh! Each day of my life," you teased before coming closer to him and sat on his lap, your left arm wrapped around his neck. "Why do you think I would regret?" "Like you said, you really wanted to go back to him." "But you left me no choice and I'm glad you did," you smiled, leaving a sweet kiss on his lips before pulling away slowly and look at him, softly removing a few strands of hair away from his face. "I'm glad you came back home, honey." Biting your lower lip while a smile stretched the corners of your mouth, you couldn't help but think about that day once again. Your heart broke a little every time Yugyeom's face - when you left him at this street corner - appeared in your mind. You remembered how your tears flooded your cheeks and how it was impossible for you to hold them back. After what happened, you couldn't go back to the coffee shop for your date with Sangjin so, hands shaking like leaves, you sent him a text saying - or rather lying, that you were starting to feel sick when you were waiting for him and went back home. You didn't remember how many tissues you used that night, crying onto your couch, trying to understand why it was happening to you, but you remembered the trash you put next to the coffee table was full. So many questions were turning in loop in your head but the most important one was: Why did you reject Yugyeom like that when he finally seemed to share your feelings? Or.. did he really shared them or was he just afraid to lose you? Angry about not having any answer, you screamed into a pillow when the doorbell rang. Without moving, you asked who was coming that late and your eyes widened when you recognized Yugyeom's voice. "Open the door, Y/n." "You have a spare key," you replied, hoping he wouldn't use it. "Please, open that door." A long sigh parting your lips, you stood up and, as he wanted, opened the door, immediately noticing his red and puffy eyes. He cried, maybe as much as you. "Was it really a game for you?" Yugyeom asked, swallowing. "It seemed to be," you answered slowly, lowering your head. "Then game over," the young man replied, quickly cupping your face in-between his hands and pulling you into a feverish kiss. Bewildered, you pushed him away, looking straight at him with your mouth slightly open. What just happened? Frowning, you stared at him when you saw the discreet smile he was trying to hold back. "If it's another ga-" "I told you, honey," he cut you off, making a step towards you. "Game over. I don't want to play anymore, not with you." Heart racing in your chest, you couldn't give any other answer than kiss him back, your arms tightly wrapped around his neck while his were around your waist, pulling you as close as he could. "Would you open the door if someone else came that night?" Yugyeom asked, pulling you out of your thoughts and knowing exactly what you were thinking about. "I don't know. Would you use your key if I didn't?" you asked back, frowning when you saw him shook his head as a no. "Why?" "Because if you didn't open that door, I would understand I had no chance to have you back," he honestly answered, tucking one of your locks behind your ear. "But I'm glad you did." Smiling, you nodded, making him understand you were glad too by letting him pull you into a sweet kiss.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ⁓•⁓ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ Thank you for reading! 💜 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ⁓•⁓

[averyrogers83writes]

Destiny

Title: Destiny Authors:  @endrega23  & @averyrogers83 Warnings: Fluffiness Rating: General Pairing: WinterHawk: Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton Summary: Clint is a sex-repulsed asexual - he falls fast for people, but since he doesn't want to have sex with them, they sooner or later leave him, because those just seem to be the kinds of people Clint would find for himself. Bucky on the other hand has a hard time falling in love with anyone and finds he’d much have a “friends with benefits” setup with Nat then to go out and find someone. That is until Nat knocks some sense into him and makes him realize something she’s known for a long time.   Words: 2904 A/N: This is a collaboration between @averyrogers83writes and @endrega23 for the Marvellous Ace Valentine’s Collab Link: Here

@kimmycup @one-crazy-writer @shield-agent78 @hotoffthepressfics @chuuulip @buckysforeverprincess @thorfanficwriter @the-soulofdevil 

There were three things Clint couldn’t function without. Coffee, pizza, and pretty much Bucky. Clinton Francis Barton, AKA Hawkeye, was a mess when Bucky wasn’t around. On his own during his down time he could be a basic basket case. He was like a kid with ADHD on steroids. It was probably all the coffee in his system. If he could, Clint would put an IV filled with coffee straight into his veins. It’s pretty much why Bucky often made two mugs of coffee before he left the apartment and would meet up with Clint on their way to work.  

Bucky sat down on his couch, looking out across the street through the very conveniently placed window. On the other side, he could just see into another apartment: Clint’s, who for some reason was extremely animated as he talked to Lucky. Bucky shook his head fondly. He never knew what Clint was up to at any given moment, but whatever it was, he could be sure to be amused and and exasperated.

His phone pinged. Bucky glanced down reflexively and his heart stopped for a moment.

Nat - 1:1

Any plans for Valentine’s, yet? I’m excited to see what you come up with this year ;)

Shit, Valentine’s was next week, wasn’t it? He needed to figure out what to do for Nat. She was hard to come up with ideas for. In fact he really couldn’t remember what he did for her last year for Valentine’s Day, but either way it was only right to do something nice for her.

Just as he was scrolling through his phone for ideas, there was a persistent pounding at the door.

“Alright, hold your horses, I’m coming!” he called out He reluctantly got up from the couch and opened the door without looking up from his phone. He knew it was Clint - no one else knocked quite so enthusiastically.  

“Bucky, dude, I need your help.” Clint pushed his way past Bucky, and Bucky looked up. Clint sounded… frantic, somehow.

“What is it this time? Please tell me you didn’t find another cat for me to adopt. Alpine is more than enough for me, thank you very much.”

“No,” Clint shook his head, practically jumping on his toes. He didn’t even rise to Bucky admitting to liking Alpine. What the hell? “I’ve found the one.”

“The one what?” Bucky asked, but damn he knew what the answer was gonna be. Not again.

“You know..the one I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. The one I’m going to marry.”

Bucky sighed. “Yep, exactly what he thought”. Being Clint’s best friend came with some exclusivities, mainly being privy to how chaotic his love life could be. Bucky knew everyone Clint was ever involved with because it seemed like he was with a new partner constantly. When Clint fell, he fell hard, only to break up with them a month or two later. All through college it was the same thing. Clint didn’t fall in love with someone because of what they offered physically, but more emotionally.  It’s one of the things that Bucky and Clint had in common.

That wasn’t the only thing they shared, though. Clint’s dad messed him up so badly that the poor kid ended up partially deaf in one ear after a beating. After that Clint swore that he’d find a way to get out and he did. Bucky’s dad was an alcoholic that was more mentally abusive than physically, but he was known to toss Bucky around a time or two. It sucked that their shitty childhoods are what they had in common, but it allowed them to understand each other more where others couldn’t.

“Yeah? And what makes this one different?”

“She’s hot, smart, makes gravity her bitch - I mean have you seen her dance moves? I just know she’s the one for me and I need your help to plan the perfect Valentine’s date. I’m going to ask her to marry me.” Clint shrugged, and Bucky pinched his nose. He could feel he was going to give in. “Please, dude, you’re my best friend and I really need your help on this one. I don’t want to screw this up.”

Bucky sighed again. How could he deny his best friend his assistance? Besides, maybe they could help each other out in trying to figure out the best dates.

“Fine. I’ll help you, but you’ve got to help me with setting something up for Nat.”

“Are you two finally getting serious?”

Bucky just grunted. Where Clint could fall in love with someone quickly, Bucky found it hard to fall in love. He fantasized about it, don’t get him wrong - but finding someone? So far, it really seemed impossible. It was easier to find someone that he didn’t mind hanging out and occasionally having sex with, but anything long-term was nothing more than a dream and the sex - well. He didn’t really care if the relationship was physical at all, but it certainly seemed like the only kind of intimacy he could get. So for the majority of the time he would hook up with Nat.

Natasha was another one of their long time friends. Where Nat and Clint would often partner up on projects, Bucky would be the one to help make their vision a reality. It was what made the three of them such great friends. It was also why Nat and Bucky were so good for each other. They both pretty much wanted the same thing: a friends with benefits situation where there was no real commitment to each other, just an occasion meet up for sex.

The rest of the day the two spent throwing ideas back and forth on what to do. The ideas went from the simple to the down right over the top. Bucky settled for a more simple route for Nat. She wasn’t one that liked frills and fancy stuff so a nice dinner and maybe some flowers would be enough.

Clint, on the other hand, wanted it to be a night Jessica would never forget. So Bucky helped make reservations at one of the most expensive and hard to get into restaurants in the city. Lucky for them they knew someone that could get them a table. Of course then he had to hire a violinist down to the best wine and champagne. But the more Clint talked about how Jessica was the one, the more Bucky felt agitated. He tried to help with getting the reservations set up or the flowers ordered and just found himself getting frustrated faster.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to or liked helping Clint, but the longer he had to deal with it, the shorter his fuse got. When Clint asked Bucky to go with him to the jeweler to help pick out the perfect ring, Bucky finally felt close to breaking. But it wasn’t like he really had a reason to be frustrated, right? Clint would do the same for him. So he made himself take a few deep breaths and went.

-------------------------------------------

The next day Nat invited him to the new Star Wars movie at the mall. The movie was fun (though Bucky would always swear by Star Trek), but what was really worth it was their usual sushi place next to the theater.

Bucky wasn’t quite in the mood, though. He was quiet, he knew - he just didn’t feel like talking.  He could feel Nat’s eyes on him, studying him, and he knew it would bite him in the ass, but…

“James.”

Bucky grunted.

“Do not do this with me,” Nat poked at him with her toe. “You are better than this.”

Bucky glanced at Nat and shrugged. “Am I though?”

“James, what is this?” Nat frowned and set her bowl down. “I thought we were over this. What brought it up?”

Bucky let his head fall back.

“Just… I don’t know, Nat. Clint is getting married and all I can feel is annoyed. It’s not like him getting married is so rare,” Bucky waved a hand in the air. “This is the third time I can remember, and you’ve known him longer. Just.” He rolled his head over to look at Nat. “Why can’t I be happy for him?”

Natasha blinked. "James…” she trailed off, then took a harder look at him. “Please tell me you’re just playing ignorant. Dummy, you're in love with Clint."

"What?" Bucky blinked. "I'm not... What?

He couldn't be, what was Natasha even talking about? Clint was his best friend. Sure, they hung out all the time, but it wasn't romantic. Was it? Noo, no way. It wasn't.

"James Buchanan Barnes." Natasha glared at him. Shit, full named? "Tell me you knew that.

"Nat, come on," Bucky pleaded, his eyes going wider. It couldn't be, right? "You're joking, right? Clint is my best friend, I'm not in love with him.

Natasha stared at him. "You're not kidding.

"Uhm..."

"I can't.” Natasha shook her head. “Just... Think a bit about it. I'm going to get ice cream.

"Rude," Bucky muttered to Natasha's departing back. Leaving him in an emotional crisis and getting ice cream without him? Rude. He should be the one getting the ice cream.

But Natasha couldn't be right, right?

October, 2014

Bucky stared out of his window. If he stood just so, he could see into Clint’s apartment on the other side of the street. Of course, Clint could also see into his, but where that would have bothered him with anyone else, with Clint, it was fine. Clint was fine.

Except right at that moment, Clint wasn’t right, because just as Bucky was preparing to turn away and settle in for his solo night in, Clint tripped right in the narrow strip Bucky could see. Probably over Lucky. The poor dog always got in Clint’s way whenever Clint was getting ready for a date, and really, Bucky couldn’t blame him. He often had the urge to trip Clint up, just so he couldn’t leave on his newest date.

Which was stupid. Clint was an adult, and they’ve known each other long enough that Bucky knew Clint didn’t appreciate others directing his life for him. So Bucky wouldn’t, really. Clint had the right to go on date after date, fall for person after person, and every time he got dumped, Bucky and Natasha would be there with ice cream. Because that’s what friends were for.

Clint tripped right in that narrow strip again, and Bucky sighed. Maybe he should go rescue Clint from Lucky. Maybe Alpine wouldn’t even mind, and that way, at least he’d have a cuddle buddy, even without Clint.

August, 2015

“Hey!” Clint shouted as he pushed open Bucky’s door. “You ready for our pizza night in?” Bucky sighed. “In the kitchen!” he called back. “You know, I distinctly remember locking the door.” “Oops?” Clint grinned at him from the kitchen doorway. “What are you making?” Bucky sighed again, but he couldn’t stop the smile curling his lips. “Just some salad. Natasha threatened again to force-feed you greens, thought I would preempt it.” “Awww, you’re my hero,” Clint fluttered his eyelids, and something in Bucky’s chest squeezed. “Yeah, well,” he said brusquely to cover it up, and pointed at the spare chopping board he set up. “Get chopping. The onions are yours.” “Aw, onions, no,” Clint complained, but obediently stepped up to the board. “Do you have to make me cry?” Only fair, Bucky thought, but bit his tongue before it slipped out. Where the hell did that even come from?

December, 2015

“Come on, Clint!” Bucky shouted to the kitchen, twisting impatiently. “The episode is starting!” “Shit!” Clint cursed, and something crashed. “I’m fine, don’t have to come!” “Sure you are, buddy,” Bucky muttered to himself. The day Clint would be fine in the kitchen was the day they married. Instead, he twisted back to look at the TV, playing the intro of Dog Cops. Why Clint loved that series, he’d never understand, but it made Clint happy so it didn’t much matter. “I’m here!” Clint announced and plopped down next to Bucky. “I think Alpine ate the chicken wings. Sorry.” “Well, whatever,” Bucky grumbled. “Come here.” “Yes, sir,” Clint grinned, and threw his head down on Bucky’s lap. “You’ll have to feed me, I can’t reach the popcorn this way.” “Oh no,” Bucky deadpanned, but obediently reached out to grab a fistful of popcorn. “Now shush.” He dropped the fistful into Clint’s open mouth. Clint grinned up at him, cheeky, but his mouth was full so Bucky just shoved his face to look at the TV. “Dog Cops. Now.”

As if on cue, the intro ended, and then suddenly Clint wasn’t that interested in annoying him anymore.

“Aww, I didn’t miss it!” Clint crowed from behind the popcorn in his mouth. “Yeah, dummy,” Bucky snorted, and sank his hand into Clint’s hair. Really, getting to       pet Clint might be his favorite part of watch parties.

“Oh, shit,” Bucky whispered. “I’m in love with Clint Barton.”

“What?” a voice came from behind him, and Bucky turned, confused.

“Jessica?”

“Yeah, dummy,” Jessica frowned at him from the door to the sushi place. “What did   you just say? Because to me it sounds like you just professed love to my boyfriend.”

“Oh shit,” Bucky cursed. Jessica was staring at him expectantly, but Bucky’s mind was blank. He could feel his heart start to race and his breath coming shorter. He couldn’t believe that he said that out loud, for fuck’s sake.

Jessica sighed. “It’s true, isn’t it? You know, I should thank you. You made things so much easier.”

“What?” Bucky frowned.

“Don’t you worry your pretty head about it.” Jessica smiled tightly and turned.

“What? Jessica…!” Bucky finally sprang into motion, but it was too late; Jessica was gone.

What the hell had she been talking about?

------------------------------------------

Bucky was going out of his mind. He wasn’t able to find Jessica in the mall, and she wouldn’t answer her phone. He wasn’t able to find Nat, either, and when he called her, she just laughed at him and hung up. Honestly, he should just call Clint, but…

But he was a coward. What if Jessica told Clint? What if Clint now hated Bucky? There was no way Clint felt the same way - Bucky knew what Clint in love looked like. It came quick, it was flaming, and it was over just as fast. They’ve known each other for years, now. He should just go to sleep, right? He had work in the morning. But when he looked around the apartment, it was… empty. Specifically, it had a Clint-shaped void gaping at the center. Well, that wasn’t going to change. He might as well get used to… Loud banging on his door interrupted Bucky’s train of thought. What the hell? He rushed to open the door before the banging woke the whole building. “Clint?” Shit, Clint looked awful.

“Jessica broke up with me. She just got up and broke up without any warning other than that I needed to talk to you.”

“Clint I…”

“Bucky what the….What did you say to her! Tell me!”

“Clint I didn’t realize that she was near and she...she apparently overheard me.” Bucky’s heart was racing, he knew he had to come clean, but… “Come in, at least? The whole building doesn’t need to hear us.”

“Oh,” Clint smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”

They walked to the couch in silence, but Bucky could feel the tension bubbling up in Clint. To be fair, he wasn’t much calmer.

“Tell me what she overheard,” Clint demanded once they reached the couch.

Bucky took a big breath. Well, here goes nothing.

“She overheard me come to the realization that I love you. I know you don’t feel the same way, and I don’t expect you to. Honestly, I just want things to stay the same; I value your friendship more than any romance.” Bucky’s face flushed. “But I’ve never felt more like myself with anyone else, and, well. You wanted to know.” His palms were sweating and he felt like he was going to faint, and Clint was just staring at him with an open mouth. An actually, comically open mouth. “Clint?”

“Where the fuck did you get the idea that I don’t love you?”

“Wha..what?” Bucky blinked.

“I’ve loved you since the day we met,” Clint said, and a shit eating grin started to appear on his face. “You were everything I ever wanted from a relationship.”

“But…” Bucky blinked again. This was… this didn’t make sense. “You kept falling in love with people!”

“Polyamory,” Clint shrugged, and oh, that made sense. “I kept hoping someone would turn out half as good as you. No one did, though.”

“I… Okay, okay.” Bucky took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, this is a lot to process. Oh my god.” Relief started to fill him. A stupid smile stretched his face, and it felt like he could fly away. Oh god, could he really get to have this? “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Clint grinned back at him, then leaned over to kiss Bucky’s cheek, and Bucky’s face erupted in flames. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time.”

“We’ll have to talk things over.”

“I know.”

“Things can’t be this easy.”

“Can’t they though?”

“Wanna cuddle?”

“Hell yes.”

[shieldwinter]

Stucky Fic Rec [Part Three]

Part Three of the fic rec coming at you! Sorry for it coming so late in the day - I was finishing up reading a fic that I wanted to add to this part!  I do only add fics that I’ve read, and enjoyed, to this rec so (once again) there will be few, if any, ABO and Shrinkyclink fics!  As always; I will provide the Google Doc link where I update the rec regularly, but if you’d prefer it formatted here on tumblr, it is under the cut! If you want to recommend fics, go for it!

Google Doc Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10wqr5s-CzkFzLidQgt-y4-cjudHWwVeVPWCedMjK7t0/edit

Don’t Leave Me Asunder

        Word Count: 31.1k         Rating: Teen and Up         Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Veteran!Bucky, Amputee!Bucky         Warnings: None         Synopsis: Like many other war veterans, Bucky Barnes is alone. He doesn't talk to his family, he has no friends and his only human interactions are with his cleaning crew from Avengers Tower. Plagued by nightmares and pain, he lives each day in isolation. Until the Avengers bring their fight at home and Bucky gets to meet the famous Captain America. To his surprise, both their lives change forever after that.

Far Strayed

       Word Count: 18.3k        Rating: Mature        Notable Tags: Post CACW, Pre Infinity War        Warnings: None        Synopsis:  “They’re not going to stop coming after me,” Bucky tells Steve, somewhere in the air above Siberia. “Let them come,” Steve replies, furious still.  After Siberia, instead of seeking refuge in Wakanda, Bucky and Steve go on the run.

All My Chances Again

         Word Count: 20.6k          Rating: Explicit          Notable Tags: Time Travel, Endgame Fix-It          Warnings: Smut          Synopsis: I love him, Steve thinks into the spiraling ether; I love him; let me tell him. Give me the chance to set that one thing right. If I can’t rest for saving him, let me give him all of me and hope that it’s enough. Or; Steve gets lost in the time matrix, and begs for an out. Seems confession is good for the soul—or so he hopes.

I, Barnes 

        Word Count: 76.7k         Rating: Explicit         Notable Tags: Bi!Steve, Bi!Bucky, Period-Typical Homophobia         Warnings: Heavy Smut, Talk of Suicide, Non-Consenual Vouyerism, Panic Attacks          Synopsis: When Steve finally finds Bucky and brings him home to New York, their reunion doesn't go as planned. Bucky disappears into the bowels of the tower, avoiding Steve at all costs. Bucky believes himself to be broken beyond repair, unworthy of any contact with Steve Rogers. But having finally gotten a taste of being around Steve again, Bucky can't just leave - he needs Steve. In ways he believes prove he's a monster unfit to live.

If Steve Rogers Were Your Boyfriend 

          Word Count: 70.2k           Rating: Mature           Notable Tags: Cafe!AU, Barista!Steve, Author!Bucky           Warnings: Abusive Relationship (not Steve and Bucky)            Synopsis: When he's not editing a magazine he truly loathes or navigating a rocky relationship he truly doesn't deserve, Bucky Barnes writes a fantasy romance column with an unexpectedly loyal internet following about the barista at his favorite cafe. Barista Boyfriend makes these other worlds bearable, but the real world dreamboat isn’t remotely involved; Steve Rogers is just a muse. Everyone loves the column. And it definitely isn’t killing Bucky very gently in 500 word increments, not in the slightest. What kind of a writer can't keep fact and fiction straight? James Fuckin' Barnes, that's who.

Love Me Tender

          Word Count: 13.1k           Rating: Teen and Up           Notable Tags: Canon Divergence            Warnings: None           Synopsis: Steve is captured by Hydra, who for lack of any other containment options, activate the Winter Soldier and order the man to "take care of Captain America". They really should have been more specific. - OR: Taking care of Captain America is a task that the Soldier's body seems to remember how to do, even if he doesn't understand why.

Falling Back on Forever 

          Word Count: 24k           Rating: Explicit            Notable Tags: Revenge Road Trip, Identity Porn           Warnings: Smut           Synopsis: Bucky falls from the train in 1945. Steve jumps right after him. The Winter Soldier and the Midnight Patriot are the world's most feared duo, serving HYDRA and leaving a trail of bodies a mile wide behind them. But then they remember.

Wishes and Words

         Word Count: 48.2k          Rating: Explicit          Notable Tags: Fantasy!AU, Prince!Steve          Warnings: Smut, Past Torture          Synopsis: Life is going great until the day Bucky Barnes finds Crown Prince Steven Grant bleeding out on his lands. Then it only gets better.

How Bucky Barnes Won His Second Pulitzer

         Word Count: 11.6k          Rating: General Audience          Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Protective Steve          Warnings: None          Synopsis:  It isn’t like him and Steve go out frequently. Sometimes he’ll stop by Bucky’s apartment and they’ll binge watch tv shows, or Steve will tell him stories from ‘back in the day’. They’ve only gone out in public two or three times and it was merely quick runs to get coffee, or more popcorn.  So Bucky really doesn’t understand where this Hydra asshole is coming from when he says: “The reason we took you is because we know the Captain will come running right into our trap.” (aka: bucky is an award winning journalist who really doesn't appreciate being used as bait for a beefed up, spandex-clad super soldier.)

Maybe This Christmas

          Word Count: 24.8k           Rating: Teen and Up           Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Christmas           Warnings: None           Synopsis: Bucky’s not going home for Christmas. But it’s fine. He’s spending Christmas alone in his apartment, but it’s cool. He’s not feeling up to seeing his family after his accident anyway, plus he has to work. He’s totally fine with it. But then he runs into Steve, literally, and suddenly his Christmas isn’t looking so empty after all.

6 Avenue Local

         Word Count: 10.6k          Rating: Teen and Up          Notable Tags: No Powers!AU, Veteran!Bucky, Graphic Designer!Steve          Warnings: None          Synopsis: It takes a moment for Steve to add up the features on the man in front of him: those blue-grey eyes, a cleft chin, high cheekbones. Sure, he's older, dirtier, taller, but there's only one person Steve knew who looked like that. "Bucky?" he asks. "Bucky Barnes?" It's been so long since he's said that name out loud. "Yeah, I..." Bucky pauses. "Oh fuck," he says. "I missed my stop." Steve smiles. “Wanna get a burger?” he asks, noting the happy coincidence that Bucky Barnes, of all the people in New York, fell asleep in the same subway car that Steve would walk into, and missed his stop. “Sure,” Bucky says with a shrug. “I could eat.”

Kingdom Come

          Word Count: 8.2k           Rating: Teen and Up           Notable Tags: Missions Gone Wrong, Angst w/ Happy Ending           Warnings: Near Death Experience           Synopsis: “It’s too late, Steve,” Bucky’s voice across the comm is flat, layered with static. “The deadlock’s irreversible. S’the only way.” Steve knows what nearly dying feels like; knows it better than most, and this—those words, that voice, this impossible burning that courses through him like the serum in reverse, this. This is so much worse than nearly.

Just Me, You, and These Shitty Cigarettes

        Word Count: 39.8k         Rating: Explicit         Notable Tags: Modern!AU, Veteran!Bucky, Barista!Bucky, Artist!Steve         Warnings: Smut, Dubious Consent         Synopsis: Steve Rogers is pretty sure Natasha's new roommate is trying to kill him. Which he wouldn't mind considering he's been helplessly in love with him since they were thirteen.

Where All Roads Lead

        Word Count: 46.1k         Rating: Explicit         Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Time Travel, Historian!Bucky         Warnings: Smut         Synopsis: When Steve Rogers inadvertently touches a relic in the course of a mission gone sideways during WWII, he’s catapulted seventy years into the future. Before he's even sure where he's ended up, his search for help puts him in contact with Bucky Barnes, a historian and college professor who has built a career around studying Captain America. With Bucky's help, Steve means to find out how exactly he ended up in 2017, and solve the bigger mystery of how to get home. There's just one problem. The closer they get to their goal, the less certain Steve is that he wants to go home.

Énoument

         Word Count: 77.9k          Rating: Mature          Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Meet-Cute          Warnings: Smut          Synopsis: When Steve first met Sergeant James Barnes during the New York invasion, he flipped Steve off for calling him a civilian, then roundhouse kicked an alien in the face. They haven't stopped talking to each other ever since, and Steve thought it was normal for him to latch onto the first person who befriended him after coming out of the ice. Nope, turns out he was just pining.

Closed Book

         Word Count: 38.8k          Rating: Explicit          Notable Tags: Amnesia          Warnings: Smut          Synopsis: Bucky woke up with a headache, a mouth that tasted like something had died in it, and hands-down, swear-to-god, the most beautiful man he had ever seen asleep in his lap. Bucky was also, he realized after a moment, strapped down to a hospital bed with about six different monitors making unsynced, equally piercing, beeps. Beyond that he couldn’t quite see—there was a hideous floral curtain pulled around the bed, and while he could just make out figures moving in the room beyond it, the pattern made his head pound even worse the longer he looked at it. So. That was concerning.

[bouvillea]

G25 Part 2 Essay, Very Dense

There is very little I will say as a preamble besides that Part 2 was a very powerful conclusion to an extremely climatic arc. That being said, spoilers below and my Part 1 essay can be found here.

I will start by saying that although I am quite satisfied with this ending I wish things could have ended differently. This is the first time we were given antagonists who were actual individuals we had to overcome. And in doing so, we were faced with people who had powerful reasons and motivations to sacrifice for. That is something I will come back to later so—

In a broad overview of the plot of Part 2, we were given an uplifting reunion with Talvish, who claims that his decisions and choices were made with the Milletian’s best interests in mind. And it’s nice* to work together after so long, to finally have him fulfill the promise of being with the Milletian at the very end. There is a sweet moment where the roles are reversed and the Milletian asks him if he is alright. Instead of being asked to trust him, he wholeheartedly puts his trust in the Milletian.

*if you know me even just a little, you know I simp hard for this man and let me tell you I went from “I will be the first one to punch him” to “please don’t go” in a matter of minutes

And then, when everything is rewound and the Milletian is able to protect their friends and prevent the worst possible ending, all the Good Guys have a Good Time. This is of course, glossing over the fact that Deirbhile sacrificed herself, Tani dying with a finality that Milletians shouldn’t have, Piran falling apart, Treasure Hunter breaking down, and Marleid conflicted over what to do with her extremely Problematic Childhood Friend.

We still got to have a good time! We got to revel with our friends! Speak with everyone and catch up and talk and chat and eat and—

It was nice but I am very bitter because those good times only emphasized how different it ended for Cethlenn and Vayne.

If Part 1 was about trauma, Part 2 was about breaking out of predestiny and walking a different path that was set before you. This comes quite literally when Talvish appears and rewinds time* to save the Milletian from the future he saw. He (and later, Hymerark) reveals to us something that touches the fourth wall:

*not sure why I was so surprised that he could manipulate time in such a way when the Milletian’s first meeting with him was through time. Maybe I just thought it was through the Milletian’s powers that they managed to communicate but clearly Talvish’s powers were doing something.         Oh dang it makes sense why he isolated himself in a desert for centuries now…because he can’t affect time that he has been personally involved in

The ability to redo main storyline missions when we fail them is quite literally the Milletian, breaking the flow of time to try again until we succeed. Due to the nature of altering timelines, those uninvolved with the messing of time don’t remember all the previous attempts. Later, it is revealed that all our redoes and failures have a negative impact on Erinn; it increases the entropy in the world as different realities are created and then stopped. Tani is a result of that.

It is further revealed that Vayne⁠—or I should say now, Beimnech, is a singularity who experiences all these timelines and realities. He must return to Mag Tuireadh whenever the flow of time breaks because it is the role he has been forced into by Hymerark. He is the counterpoint for Talvish. The two are diametrically opposed, canonical foils with mirroring ideals and views of the world. Beimnech mentions during Eternal Dreams that he has seen Milletians fail to convince Talvish* to change his mind about the world, or fail to garner enough faith in their friends. In the current timeline, Talvish is enlightened by the Milletian and so takes control of his fate and chooses to rewind time instead of having it cut off and restart.

*It is implied that Talvish also experiences the different timelines over and over again, but he forgets it the moment the timeline is replaced with a new one. Alternatively, Beimnech is also taken out of time and space whenever the flow is broken, so the cycles are even more unbearable because he is forced to witness them as an outsider.

Beimnech did not have the liberty of meeting the Milletian before he met Hymerark. Unlike Talvish, he could not surround himself with equal companions and could not hope for a life where he was not just fulfilling a role to balance the world. The only way he could have some control over his own fate as cycles repeated over and over again was to orchestrate his own death*. He remarked before in G24 that had he and the Milletian walked different paths, they could have been friends and not enemies. Both he and Talvish see the Milletian as a savior—as a guiding, bright light. But while Talvish burned alongside the Milletian, Beimnech burned out like dying embers** or a shadow too weak to hold up against illumination.

*maybe it’s selfish, but who can blame him when he only has himself? I seethe with the unfairness of characters that have no choice but to be the “darkness” to contrast the “light”. The “what could have been if things were different” hurts as do the inability to break free from what was laid out. I seethe, but that means the story is doing as intended and I am by no means criticizing, just empathizing (I’d highkey write something like this ngl I am a ball of angst).

**the refrain that plays when the Milletian is prompted to deal the final blow to Beimnech is called The Last of the Heat Fades/Residual Heat Fades Away.

Beimnech’s disappointment in the Milletian in Part 1 is suddenly very understandable. He had pinned all his hopes in one person and he knew they were going to fail. We even saw him return to end the Corrupted Milletian in the future that we never got to witness. He did for the Milletian what he hoped they would do to him*. And then for once, to have time rewind instead of abruptly ending? I can’t imagine…

*I chose to not stab him. Apparently that gives you more of his backstory. Regardless of the decision, when he tells you he lies for the first and last time about his death…

Something can be said about Cethlenn, too, who was “emptied out” by Fodla. His current name, Cethlenn, was given to him by Beimnech, which honestly if you know your myth and lore spawns so much food for thought*. Speaking to Cethlenn in Tech Duinn on Saturdays reveals that Beimnech gave him that name because he always wanted a right-hand man with that name. Whatever that implies to the nature of their relationship… If you have the time, please, please speak to him with all the keywords at your disposal. It’s worth it.

*another food for thought includes Sera being the one to help Piran escape and Beimnech noticing that. Beimnech being Super Old and Super Tired with so much bottled up Memories and Experience like the opposite of Talvish With a Purpose okay one day I will actually write a whole essay about their foils⁠—

Ultimately, Cethlenn is given the choice to be the watcher in the mists of Feth Fiada. He acknowledges his crimes* and so he refuses to exit (except on Samhain aka Saturday). He is openly antagonistic towards everyone except Marleid, which is understandable. He thinks he has tied Marleid down. Further conversations with him in Tech Duinn reveal that he’s pugnacious and as eager as Vayne once was to spar with the Milletian. He’s also very easy to bully. He implies that in the future, he may recover the powers he lost in his deal with Hymerark and will use those powers for the greater good so…more Cethlenn content in the future? Hopefully?

*what worried me the most at the end of G24 was that I could not see how he or Vayne could be redeemed. I would scoop them up in a heartbeat. But could my Milletian? Could the people of Erinn? Obviously not.

I know I brought up the concept of escaping predestiny and then dropped it like a hot potato so I’ll do some quick rundowns now of other examples. Enya realizing that she can have a life beyond just staying in her sanctum and caring for the Holy Flame, Piran gathering the courage to recognize his own existence is worth something,  Hymerark* realizing that there is no reason to continue to mess around with people and she can just observe. I’ve rewatched the conversation the Milletian has with Hymerark after the battle and I don’t even know where to start…Talvish remarked that she’s the closest in resemblance to Aton Cimeni’s will since she balances both freedom and chaos. Maybe these higher gods were never meant to have sentience or conscience because the moment they do, they make decisions and bam the whole world is a mess.

*the Milletian seem to do this to all the gods, huh?

My current understanding of things is that the Evil God Balor was created by Aton Cimeni as a counterpoint for Talvish, who is the Guardian, the sentinel of Erinn. Why? For Balance of course. But you can’t just create someone to be evil. Somewhere in between, Aton Cimeni stops answering and while Talvish plots machinations for the future he saw, Balor’s disdain for his role grows and eventually beefs it in a fight with Lugh at the battle of Mag Tuireadh. His body is dead, but his spirit remains, picked up by Hymerark to be the…plug stopping Noitar Arat. I imagine Hymerark also faced the same struggle that Talvish did of attempting to carry out duties imparted on them by their creator but yet new to independence and the weight of their responsibilities that now fell on their shoulders. Hymerark expresses her faint indecision of hearing the wishes of everyone. There will always be conflict in decisions.

Meanwhile, Talvish realizes that the balance has shifted in the absence of the Evil God Balor and so the events of G21 happen, where he attempts to recreate the balance with his own hands and summon something to replace Balor. While this fails, Hymerark tries to do the same again by corrupting the Milletian and making them the final obstacle to correct the unending cycle that, frankly, started because of her.

In G25 Part 1, Vayne mentions that Aton Cimeni will always have a solution. I suppose in this case, he was talking about how even if he were to disappear completely, someone will always take his place. Just like how Triona’s role was passed on to Millia, a new darkness grows. Not without repercussion, of course. Something is coming and that’s for G26.

In the final confrontation with Beimnech, he offers the Milletian a choice to either kill him now and escape, or perish together with him in the rift. He mentions that in the end, we are all forgotten anyway. I don’t think that is the case. The Milletian lives and the memories of everyone they’ve fought with lives with them. That is their burden. Not everyone can walk a righteous path. Sometimes, desperate individuals seek the wrong help and I like to think that the Milletian recognizes that it isn’t just black and white, and that they are fortunate to have found the right people. Things are just going to get rougher for the Milletian because they’re also a guardian of Erinn, which begs the question: who is the counterpoint for the Milletian? Does one even exist? Does there need to be one?

Instead of ending on such a gloom and doom note, I’ll go full circle and talk about Llywelyn again and his mentions of a sibling again? And also tea time?? 10/10 would fake date Llywelyn just for the court gossip. (LF > political intrigue comic ft. Milletian and Llywelyn dating like it’s 17th century France) Also Llywelyn being the next captain of the Elved Squad?? Tried to imagine him in Talvish’s armor and as I type this I realize they won’t do something stupid like that they’ll just change the emblem on his armor. Alright I think that’s it I’m hitting 2.3k words so—

Oh right something something the Aces go off somewhere again just as Hunter was going to say something…can we get a base for them please? So we can just visit them? So they don’t just pop in and out of the Milletian’s life? Thanks.

I’m about to get super sappy so readers, feel free to skip all of this. I’ve been playing mabi for about 11 years at this point and it has been a long ride. I didn’t start writing these rants and essays until G21 and I also started drawing in earnest about mabi around the same time with comics and fanart. I don’t participate much in the community as a whole because I am an anxiously overthinking person. It’s no surprise that I found comfort characters in mabi and so I return here again and again (not that I’ve ever really left). We’re getting a new game director after G25 and I am extremely grateful for all he has done for the game. And in the same vein, I’m thankful to all of you reading this. There’s no point in creating content when there is no audience, especially when I am as reclusive as I am. So, to my new readers: thanks for coming along. And to my old fans: thanks for sticking around. Until the next chapter!

[h2omyeon]

You Were Beautiful (KJM x Reader)

Summary: You had been in love with your classmate Kim Junmyeon for the last year and a half. You finally find the guts to tell him the truth about how you feel, but at the wrong time. (PS: Chanyeol makes a cameo in this story and Junmyeon is an Art History major!)

Pairing: Junmyeon x Female Reader

Tags: College Student Junmyeon, Art Hoe Junmyeon, bittersweet stuff

Warnings: Mentions of suicide towards the end of this chapter

Word Count (in total): 8.5k

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is my first ever story I wrote and published on here. Feel free to leave comments and I will try to publish each chapter weekly! This story is based off of a combination of dreams that I had which included people who weren’t Junmyeon and Junmyeon himself during the beginning of this whole COVID pandemic (AKA: when things began to fall apart). Like the world that I was living in at that time, this story/dream is just as (I hope to believe) chaotic. I also apologize if there are a ton of plot holes in the story because it was based on a dream and I could not think of any filler parts. Enjoy!- PS

PPS: Thank you so much for reading up to this point; I really appreciate all the likes, reblogs and comments by you all and the overall support. I am also honored to tell you all that I will be publishing a story called “Cocoon” (which will pair the reader with Jaehyun from NCT) within the next few weeks, so keep an eye out for that. 

PPPS: Before you read this chapter, I apologize for the way the story ends and feel free to ask, comment or message me about it. I felt like it was the best way to end it. I hope you have enjoyed the story thus far as much as I have enjoyed writing and sharing it. Thank you again!- h2omyeon <3

Read the previous parts here: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Epilogue: Universe 

Three days after the accident, the press had confirmed that there were more than 20 survivors; there were 40 altogether, although the names were not stated. Most of the people who had passed on the flight were older people or young children. You had no idea if Junmyeon had survived the crash after the on-site investigation was completed as rescue workers and police officers were still going around to friends and family members of those who may have been on the flight. 

That same week, your family decided to go visit the Kims on Saturday afternoon to keep them company. While you all were enjoying some of Mrs Kim’s comforting homemade food on their patio that day, the doorbell began to ring. Mr Kim immediately got up from his seat and ran to the door; you saw through the net that there were two rescue workers and a tall male police officer talking to him about something; Mrs Kim walked to the door while the rest of you followed. 

You watched a conversation unfold in the front door and the Kims were handed a letter World War 2 style; Mrs Kim opened the letter and read it out loud; her voice had begun to break.

“Good day, we regret to inform you that your family member passed away in the crash that occurred to Flight 496 last Saturday.”

Your heart dropped; the love of your life really was gone. All the memories he had of you were gone, forever. You went into your mother’s arms and began to weep. She sobbed too, as your father consoled the crying women in front of him.

Mr Kim consoled his wife, who asked in Korean, “How will I tell his mother?” Natasha and Molly, not knowing how to react because they were both watching TV, both turned pale after hearing the news and turned off the TV. After a few moments, you and your father walked to the front door. You skimmed through the letter, realizing that there was a mistake; the address and the name were wrong. 

The rescue worker, who you recognized as a guy from your history class, spoke. “Wait, I think I got the letters mixed up,” he admitted, taking the letter from you. He looked at the front and the back to check the name; “Yeah, I got it mixed up.” He went to retape the letter, while the other worker handed you a letter with the right address. 

“How the hell do you get addresses mixed up?!?!?!” Mr Kim snapped at the young man; the young man had a look of confusion. “Y/N, please read the letter.” Mr and Mrs Kim held one another’s hands; your parents held one another tightly and silently prayed as they watched you read the fate of your first love in your hands. 

Your hands shook as you tried to open the letter: “Dear Mr and Mrs Kim, your family member Kim Junmyeon, survived the crash of Flight 496 and is doing well at the hospital; he will be coming home soon.” Along with the brief letter, there was the address of the hospital that he was staying at; it was located in Long Island. Everyone began to happily embrace one another; you couldn’t help but hug your sisters and parents. He was alive; it was a sigh of relief for all of you. You were unable to sleep in fear that he died without wanting to and now for the first time in a week, you could sleep in peace. Mr Kim and your father, two people who initially despised one another, hugged one another for the first time. 

“Thank you,” you thanked the rescue workers and the police officer. The workers watched the brief sadness turn into a sigh of relief and happiness . 

“I apologize for my colleague’s mistake. Have a good day,” the police officer stated and the three of them went off to the next family. You had a smile on your face; “We will visit him first thing tomorrow,” Mr Kim declared. That night, they went to buy ingredients to make some of their nephew’s favorite foods, both Korean and American. 

Later that night, you told Angela the good news; “He’s a brave and very resilient man. I knew he would come out of it alive,” she stated. You two proceeded to talk about how you all were going to meet to go to the hospital the next morning. 

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The next morning, you heard loud banging from the front door, while you were asleep. You could hear your father leave the bedroom he shared with your mother to open the door. You woke up immediately and the rest of your family followed suit and walked to the front door. 

Mr Kim hurriedly entered the house and rapidly spoke as he walked in. Your mother walked to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. You were unable to understand what had happened. 

“What happened?” Natasha and Molly asked; you did not know what was going on either. You didn’t want to bother your parents, so you went to the bathroom to brush your teeth. The young girls walked down the stairs to the living room by the time you came out of the bathroom. You walked down the stairs and to the living room; you saw that everyone was crying. Junmyeon was alive, you thought. Why are they crying?

“That letter was a lie,” Mr Kim consoled you. He wiped his tears, took a sip of his water and began to explain that he had received a call from the hospital that Junmyeon had suffered a seizure in his sleep as a result of his head trauma and passed away earlier that morning. Your father looked at you; your heart dropped. You got up to feel if the world you were living in was stimulation; you felt the room spin, then go black and produced a loud thud as your body fell on the floor. 

Fifteen minutes later, you woke up on the sofa, having no recollection of being there. There was a wet towel on your forehead; Angela and Chanyeol had arrived by that time. Angela’s face was red and puffy from crying, while Chanyeol consoled her. He had tried not to cry, but the tears in his eyes were about to come out and he finally cried. Your mother and sisters were all crying, but at that moment, you were confused as to why they were so sad. By this time, Mr Kim and your father had gone to the hospital to collect Junmyeon’s remaining belongings. 

It had suddenly hit you that Junmyeon had passed away; that was the reason you fell on the ground. You hoped to reunite with the love of your life that same day at the hospital but all hopes of reunion died along with your hopes in life.  You didn’t know how to process what had been going on; he wasn’t dead, he was just away for a long period of time, you claimed in your head. You couldn’t eat and refused to move from the sofa for the rest of the day. Your mother sang songs as a way to console you and your sisters sat with you, holding your hand. 

“I know how much you loved him,” your mother consoled. “He’s in a better place now.”

Later that evening, your parents were watching the news when the reporters had confirmed he was the passenger who had died of his injuries. You stared blankly at the television screen; Junmyeon was now a memory embedded in a voicemail, a text message conversation and many pictures taken during your time together. Another thing passed away that day, which was your ability to feel love. It would take a while for you to grow that ability back.

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The funeral was a week after the news broke. It was small and quick, since Junmyeon’s body was flown to Korea that same night. Your sister Natasha and Chanyeol had sung his favorite song, “Universe” by EXO as a way to say goodbye with Molly playing the piano. Along with Angela and Chanyeol and a few of your other friends, your father spoke about how much he saw Junmyeon as the Glue that held two families together. Mr and Mrs Kim spoke, sharing their experiences with him as their beloved nephew, while your mother spoke about how he possessed a rare quality to love unconditionally and spread that love to everyone around him. 

It was your turn to speak. You didn’t prepare a speech and were naturally awkward when it came with words, despite being an English major. You took a breath and finally, after formulating somewhat of a hasty eulogy, began to speak:

“Junmyeon was like glue; he stuck by you no matter what you were going through. Whenever I felt upset, I knew I could always go to him to talk to him about it. He brought two families who initially did not know one another together and formed a trust that will last a lifetime,” you began.

“Most of all, he made me the happiest I had been in a long time. I remember the night before he left, he told me that I made him happy. I never thought I could be the source of someone’s happiness, let alone be happy myself. Happiness is something I don’t think I will ever find in a long time and for most of you, Junmyeon may be just a memory. I know that for you  all, he is memorialized in physical items such as pictures, voicemails and text messages, but for me he is memorialized both in my heart and in my life. I’m glad I got to know Junmyeon; he was the light in everyone’s life that has now extinguished. I will miss him deeply. The sad thing is, I never even got to say goodbye to him at the hospital and tell him how much I really loved him. Now I can finally tell him that I will always love him.”

The attendees clapped as you walked back and sat next to your mother. The rest of the funeral went by like a breeze; you began to wonder how you were going to live your life now that Junmyeon was gone. You could have been able to contact him had he flown to Korea safely, but now you were never going to hear him tell the stories of his life in the military, his admiration for paintings, his stupidly corny jokes and his singing voice; he was gone forever. 

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Stuck like glue no more, your father and Mr Kim got into spats over small things once again. They went back to Korea to live with Junmyeon’s parents after a month. Your family went on to live their lives, but you felt out of place in their happiness and normality. Since the funeral, dark thoughts appeared in your mind that had never appeared before. You had thoughts of joining him above in ways unimaginable; one way was covering your aired out body parts in plastic bags (such as your arms and head), then jumping from the top of the George Washington Bridge into the Hudson River, while another included knives, although thankfully you never acted on these thoughts. You occupied yourself with listening to music, writing, cooking, talking with family and friends, going to museums and walking around the park whenever the weather was nice to get rid of the thoughts; the thoughts were not frequent, but they lasted for days at a time. 

One year after his death, you went to visit Mr and Mrs Kim’s now empty house that was about to be filled with new neighbors and sat on the empty bench at their front porch. You reminisced about the confessions you made to him and he did to you; the liveliness and spark were no longer there. The laughs shared, the kisses shared, the stories told were memories you could no longer experience again. You sat for an hour and stared up at the sky deeply immersed in your thoughts about life as some bass music from your neighbor’s house played in the background. Suddenly, the lyrics to “Rough” by GFriend began to ring in your head: 

If I could run through time and become an adult

I will hold your hand in this cruel world

Grieving is different for everyone; for you, it took a year to accept Junmyeon’s untimely death. You knew that you could not spend your life being sad forever and had to look at the future ahead of you instead of dwelling in the past. No amount of songs, dreams, fantasies, voicemail replays, nostalgia talks with Angela and Chanyeol about him, and re-wearing the sweater he had left in your room after a theater rehearsal could ever bring him back. 

For three years, you held each other’s hands and guided each other through this world in unusual ways and that bond was abruptly broken by his sudden departure. However, you still held it out in hopes that you would reunite with him in the future and now that was no more. You remembered that you had to help your mother cook beef Stroganoff and got off the bench. For one last time, you took a glance at it before the new people were to move into the house and it would be gone forever. 

“Bye,” you whispered, then walked back out into the strange world you were living in, seeking for a new hand to hold and cherish forever.

The End

[skz-writings]

Reaction: s/o dyeing their hair (gone wrong)

Theme: Kind of crack?

Requested: Yes

↳ Ask: Hii~~ good luck with your new blog!!! I was thinking about what you could do to start your blog and it may be funny a reaction of them when their s/o tries to dye their hair but goes wrong hahaha have a nice day💕

A/N: This took me a bit longer because I needed to research which things potentially could go wrong when dyeing hair since I am not very knowledgeable on the topic. Also, some of these are hair dyeing mistakes I made myself hehe.

➤ Bang Chan

Chan dyed his hair a lot, no question about it. His damaged hair was clear evidence of that. Yet the guy couldn’t help himself as he stood in front of you, asking you to help him dye it as his hairdresser had said it would be best not to. You really wanted to be on the hairdresser’s side and tell him “no”, but the pout on his lips messed with your head and made it really difficult to say no. Eventually after asking him a million times if he was sure, and him telling you that he was indeed sure, you finally agreed.

You would do at your apartment since it would give you more space and not have people running in and out when you were concentrating. He had promised to get the bleach if you could buy the hair dye for him. This led you to the nearest store that sold hair dye, and you want to get it over with as soon as possible, quickly grabbed the blonde hair dye box you thought looked correct.

Even while dyeing his hair, he still seemed to be the only one stoked about the whole thing. He still tried to reassure you that it was okay and he would take care of his hair. It did make your mood a bit better and at least you could now enjoy your time with your boyfriend. You did have quite a few hours in front of you to spend with him.

However, you couldn’t help but want to laugh when everything was done and over with and the final result stood right in front of you. He was still gaping at the pastel blue you somehow managed to color it. “I feel like there is a lesson to be learned here.” You spoke, leaning against the doorframe. “Yeah, never ask you to dye my hair again.” He answered still trying to take it all. “Not what I meant.” You answered him bitterly. “You are lucky I can pull everything off,” he said turning to you finally, “because otherwise, you be dead.”

➤ Lee Minho

Minho had been jumping between hair colors as of lately, every two weeks felt like he had a different color and nothing ever seemed to be exactly as he wanted it to be. His more recently were a light brown, one you thought fitted him very well. For once he didn’t completely disagree but had it been just a tiny bit lighter, then it would be perfect according to him. That’s how the two of you came up with the brilliant plan of dyeing it.

As long as you chose a package close to his current hair color, then his hair should be safe. He had not had time to pick up a box himself and had asked you to do it for him. Sending you a picture of the one he personally thought would be best to use, you set out to buy his hair dye.

However, when you reached the store and stood in front of all the boxes with his recommendation in your hands, you had to disagree. In your opinion, it looked like it would dye his hair darker and not brighter. So, you took a different box, that looked like it would give you the right result.

You had not told Minho about your different purchase as you didn’t deem it to be that important. You’d much rather just get started and get it over with, so you could get ‘thank you for doing this for me’ cuddles sooner. Your head filled with cute cuddle images, you hurried to get the job done, while still doing it properly.

Those images would probably only see the light in your imagination, for as the two of you dried his and revealed it the audience of your bathroom aka the two of you. Both fell silent. “y/n..” he said as you only stared at him. “You did pick up the ri-“ you stopped him before he could even finish. “No, I did not.” He only nodded silently, giving you time to quickly escape the wrath of your boyfriend. “Oh no, you get back here right now!” He yelled running after you.

➤ Seo Changbin

One thing Changbin was certain of, was that you absolutely loved his lighter hair color. From the minute he had first entered your apartment door with the new look, had you been all over him. So, he almost felt bad holding the hair dye box in his hand, but he was ready to change his looks up a bit. And it was not like it would be a huge difference, it would only be a few shades darker. Knowing you, however, he knew you would be complaining and the least he could do now was letting you be the one to dye it, like a final goodbye.

It had taken you quite a long time to get started, wanting to take a few more pictures to commemorate his best hair color to date, according to your at least. Even while dyeing it, you had kept sighing and asked him if he was sure. To which he kept telling you, that yes, he was sure.

Washing it out and looking himself in the mirror, he was not sure anymore. Positive he should have told you to talk him out of it. Because looking back at him, was not a few shades of darker hair color, like he had promised you. It was such a dark brown, that it almost could be mistaken for black. Running out of the bathroom with a towel around his hair, he frantically looked for the box and instructions you had used. His mind knowing what happened already, but only needing the text to confirm it. “Oh no,” he said turning to you, “we were not meant to have waited as long as you said we did!”

He only got a confused look and a simple “what?” in return. To show exactly what he meant, he pulled the towel away from his hair. Your eyes looked big as you looked at the dark hair, a color you were not promised. A giggle left your lips as you admired it and simply answered, “I like it though.”

➤ Hwang Hyunjin

Having sported black hair for as long as Hyunjin has, it was impossible for him not to have wanted to change it at some point. The problem was just that he had no idea what he wanted to do with it, and that he really never had time to get it done. You had looked around the internet a bit and sent him hair colors you thought would fit him, but nothing ever really seemed to be good enough for him.

That’s why the two of you eventually came to the conclusion of just making it a bit brighter, so a dark brown instead of black. It would be a change, but not so much that he couldn’t soon change it again.

Since it seemed like a pretty minor thing to do and pretty easy, you decided to just do it at home. Conversations were flowing between the two of you, and he could enjoy a few head scratches from you once in a while as you applied the dye to his hair. It was just an enjoyable experience for both of you.

Rinsing out his hair didn’t really help your excitement to see it. Since the hair still looked black when wet, you both still had some time before the final reveal was ready. Hyunjin was sitting in front of you, while you were sitting on the couch, drying his hair with a towel.

Slowly as the hair started to dry, your fears grew. Nothing had happened. The hair still looked completely black. “That should be enough” Hyunjin told you as he made his way to the bathroom so he could see the results for himself. You were now just waiting for the inevitable and just like that a yell was heard.

“Nothing happened!” Your boyfriend said annoyed as he came back to the living room. “I thought you said you knew what you were doing!” Feeling a bit guilty you told him with a nervous smile, “this was my first-time dyeing hair.”

➤ Han Jisung

It hadn’t been long since Jisung had gone back to blonde. A very praised hair color from fans and you alike. However, after the session he was not left satisfied, it was still too dark in his opinion. A concern he had discussed with you, to which you had offered to dye it brighter, a job that should not be too hard.

Jisung had been a bit hesitant at first, but you had assured him that you knew what you were doing. Now sitting in a chair, with your hands in his hair massaging the dye you had chosen together, into his hair, he regretted nothing. Having you do all the work and just enjoying the affection was nice after a long day at work and as a plus, he would soon have a hair color he actually would be satisfied with.

You were also pretty confident in it turning out perfect and just to be sure, followed the box instructions in case there was something you may have not known. It was all going well, almost too well.

Life just had to be against you. After finishing washing your boyfriend’s hair, you were met with roots that didn’t match the rest of the hair, just a tad bit too orange.

Not knowing what to do, you quickly gather your things in fear of being there when he saw his new hair. He looked on confused as to what you were doing and why you said you needed to meet up with a friend.

He turned towards the bathroom mirror, to see the orange roots staring back at him and now understanding what you were doing, “y/n!” He yelled after you before you could even reach the front door.

➤ Lee Felix

When Felix had first approached you with a box of hair dye, you had been confused. When he had asked you do dye his light brown hair, brighter, you had been confused. You had never in your life tried to dye anyone’s hair, including your own. But your boyfriend kept insisting, and there was nothing that could go wrong as he had picked out a product he could trust.

You still refused and told him to get someone professional to do it, because your lack of experience scared you. He kept trying to persuade you and only succeeded when he promised to buy you whatever you wanted for dinner. Food, your one weakness.

During the whole thing, he had guided you and told you how the hairdressers he usually went to, did it. Slowly you felt more and more confident in the whole thing, it looked like it would turn out nicely. And it wasn’t as hard and nerve-wracking as you thought it would be. It was actually pretty easy to apply.

While waiting the time the box said it would take for the hair dye to settle, the two of you played a few games to make time pass faster. Felix constantly trying to cheat and pretend to mess up your masterpiece, aka his hair.

And a masterpiece it was, well if you were talking about some abstract painting hanging at a run-down art museum. For some reason, the hair dye had not taken to the roots and instead left Felix with a crappy kind of ombre, not even the tiniest bit even. He wanted to see what had made you so speechless since you had not said a word since rinsing the dye out.

The sight was one to be seen, your boyfriend just as speechless as yourself. Until he mumbled a tiny, “I should probably have gone to a professional instead.”

➤ Kim Seungmin

Seungmin was not one to dye his hair often, so it was a huge surprise when he all of sudden had showed up with his blondish hair. Not that you were complaining, it looked nice, it was just something to get used. But used to it, you got. Almost so much that it felt sad when Seungmin came to ask you if you could help him dye it back to brown. But being the great significant other, that you were, you agreed to help him.

Just to make sure you were going to do it correctly, you watched some youtube videos with tips and tricks. Seungmin had asked you to pick up the hair dye, so he could hurry over after he was done with practice. Being the one to buy it, giving you some more time to study the specific instructions included in the box. And when it finally came to the dyeing part, you felt more than ready and extremely confident in your work.

The confidence was however stripped away when you finally stood in front of Seungmin, who had decided to rinse the dye out himself and show you the results when he had it dried. Two things were clear, it was dry and dyed, the dye part, however, was not exactly what you had expected it to be. In the right lighting, it looked as you had imagined it to be in your head. He was not currently standing in the right lighting and that clear outline of green was evident in his hair. You giggled as you finally spoke to your annoyed boyfriend, “sorry.”

➤ Yang Jeongin

It was no secret between the two of you, that Jeongin always had been interested in trying different types of hair colors. He had once told you that his interest grew more after he met you, as he was fascinated with all the colors you often dyed your own hair too. You had even recently decided to try out a bubblegum pink, Jeongin’s favorite so far. He told you it made you look like a fairy when he first saw it. And only a few days later he came to you, with a determined expression. He told you he wanted to try a platinum blonde, it wouldn’t be too different from one of his earlier hair colors, but still something new.

Since you usually dyed your own hair, he had asked you to be the one to do it on him. It shouldn’t be too hard to achieve since you had tried bleaching and dyeing hair a lot. The bleaching part went by perfectly and it finally came to the last part to get the blonde he had so wished to achieve.

When you first prepared the dye, you thought something seemed odd, the color you thought would be different, it didn’t seem exactly like you thought it would have. But when Jeongin asked you when you would get started, you threw the concerns to the side and told yourself you were overthinking it since you were a tiny bit nervous about doing it on someone else.

Dyeing went well too and after waiting some time, it finally came to the rinsing out part. You almost dropped the showerhead when you realized you should have acted on your concerns. Telling him to stay still, you went to grab the box and your thoughts were confirmed.

Quietly you went back to the bathroom and stood in the opening, nervously playing with your hands. “Do you remember how you said you liked my hair and that it made me look like a fairy?” You asked, not even looking at him at this point. “Yeah?” He asked confused, lifting his head to look over at you. “Welcome to the fairy clan.”

[blouisparadise]

Here is a list of amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of January. Between the second month of the Bottom Louis Fic Fest and all the other fics that authors posted throughout the month, it’s clear that this was a great way to start off the year of bottom Louis fics!  Happy reading!

1) You Can Be The Boss Daddy | Explicit | 1641 words

This is just Louis being used and humiliated by his strong Daddy

2) Don't Pretend That I Don't Entice You | Explicit | 2086 words

“Speaking of which, he couldn't wait to get home to see him. They both worked long days and most of the time their days off didn't line up. But they made up for things like that when they could, spending hours cuddling in bed and talking about the randomest of things or ya know, having mind-blowing sex that left them sated and panting, heated limbs tangled together and breaths and scents mingling. Harry enjoyed those moments quite a bit, if he was going to be at all honest.”

3) The Sound Of Music | Explicit | 2602 words

Harry quietly makes his way down the stairs and into the large foyer, the marble floors are cold against his bare feet and he regrets not taking his slippers.

The tinkling of piano keys flirts its way to his ears and he turns his head in the direction of their living room. His mouth quirks sideways with a smile and he makes his way towards the music.

4) Letters From Boston | Explicit | 3316 words

Louis’s standing in the kitchen when he opens the first letter.

5) Starlight In Your Eyes Of Blue | Mature | 4434 words

Harry is in New York while Louis is back home at London waiting for Harry’s return. Unfortunately, Harry may be unable to come back home in time for Christmas and most importantly—Louis’ birthday. Louis can’t wait any longer to be in a bed that’s no longer empty but in the end it changes.

6) I Couldn’t Get Away From You | Mature | 5185 words

Suddenly in the heat of the moment, Harry’s eyes turned darker as he pushed Louis’ back more and more towards the wall. “Fine.” He plants his lips on Louis’ and begins to roughly kiss him, soon enough turning it into a make-out session.

“Fuck you, Styles,” Louis moans and grips onto Harry’s shoulders, hands trailing up to the taller’s hair and gripping that as well.

“We’ll see about that.”

7) My Kingdom for Your Graces | Explicit | 5257 words

Louis gets a last minute day off and Harry decides to surprise him with a visit. They proceed to do what lovers do.

8) I Think I'm In Love | Mature | 6019 words

Louis' a young man looking for love. Harry's a sugar daddy looking for a new sub. They meet through a dating app and decide to try out a relationship.

9) Daddy's Little Kitty | Mature | 7224 words

Harry Styles is a gentle master. But what happens when Louis pushes him to his limits?

10) There's More Than One Place To Call Home | Explicit | 8416 words

Harry never asked for much from his neighbors - he didn't care about barking animals during the day or loud talking during the night.

The only thing he needed was silence when he was writing. And that was the only thing his new neighbor wouldn't give him.

Deciding to confront the loud guy who lived next door, Harry found himself ringing his doorbell one night. And that decision just may be the best thing that's ever happened to Harry.

11) Cooking With Styles | Explicit | 9119 words

Anyone can cook— or so they say.

12) Watching The World Fall | Explicit | 11777 words

This segment has been going on long enough that Louis knows what’s coming before James starts in on it, trying to sell him on something he knows that Louis wouldn’t normally be buying. But there’s four cameras surrounding him, and an audience watching him expectantly, so if Louis wants to continue convincing people that he’s doing just fine, he’s going to have to go along with it.

“We have a whole host of single men backstage waiting to meet you, Louis,” James tells him. “We want to help you find love tonight, on Late Late Live Tinder. Is this okay? Do you want to play?”

It actually kind of makes sense that his first date after the break-up is going to be just as public as said break-up. Something like coming full circle.

“Alright, James,” Louis agrees, hopping down off his stool.

“Okay, come down to the stage,” James says. Louis can’t even tell whether the excitement in his voice is genuine or not. “Right now, come on down!”

13) We'll Be the Fine Line | Not Rated | 13443 words

Louis listens to Fine Line, and, drunk, he leaves a voicemail for Harry after months of not speaking. This reminds Harry of a time before everything fell apart, slowly, painfully, a time when the two of them were still in love. And he desperately wants to go back.

14) (You're Gonna See Me In A) New Light | Mature | 13631 words

A fake relationship au where everyone knows it's real but Louis.

15) Don't Know If I Could Ever Go Without | Explicit | 14140 words

“We’ve come up with a solid solution. You’re not going to like it.”

“What is it?” Louis narrows his eyes suspiciously, glancing at a visibly enthusiastic Liam.

“What if you pretended to be an Alpha?” Zayn suggests.

16) Something Wicked This Way Comes | Explicit | 16526 words

A regency murder mystery au where Louis is married to an earl and Harry is a detective. Hatchets are buried but not everyone is as they seem.

17) Keep It Sweet In Your Memory | Explicit | 17039 words

'How'd it go?' Harry pushes them into Niall's room and shuts the door behind him, so Georgia doesn't overhear.

'It was good. We just caught up, mostly... I may have done something a little stupid, though.'

And Niall's eyebrows are in his hairline at that.

'I mean. Okay, so I invited Louis out on Saturday.'

'Saturday? Your--'

'Yes, my bachelor party...' and then Harry has to explain himself, 'I just felt guilty. I think. He was like. Telling me he wanted to hook up.'

'He WHAT!?'

'No. I mean, not with me. Like. He wants to go out and meet people.'

'He'll hate that. He's too much of a romantic.'

'Yeah, well. Whatever his name was messed him up a little, it would seem.'

18) UN(RE)SOLVED | Explicit | 20873 words

The ghoul boys are back, but this time around there are some unresolved feelings involved. Harry is a skeptic, Louis is not. Watch them go on their ongoing investigation into the question: are ghosts real?

Or, BuzzFeed Unsolved AU.

19) The Way The Storms Blow | Explicit | 21649 words

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

20) Hold Onto This Heaven (Of Yours) | Explicit | 25213 words

an ode to being too young, too sad, and too in love.

(aka: a college au, harry is a frat boy, and louis wants to know all of his secrets.)

21) Weightless | Explicit | 25330 words

He hopes that Harry still thinks of him. God knows Louis thinks of him every day.

Or: Harry is the best dragon racer the world has ever seen and Louis is an almost-vet who feels like he is carrying the weight of the world.

22) Creep | Explicit | 26092 words

Harry is a wallflower, louis is a sophomore brat with a heart of gold no one seems to notice, harry, a senior, is a musician in disguise. louis finds him in the music room, Harry performing his self written song Creep on a talent show. he steals Louis' heart and begins to stalk Harry on social media, finding out the boy is gorgeous inside and out, tattoos popping against his milky skin, unashamed of his amazing body.

a story of a boy with dark thoughts finding his way through the dark with his light guiding him.

23) Blue Lotus | Explicit | 29815 words

Note: This fic is Louis/OMC.

After the Second Rebellion and the dismantling of President Cowell’s regime, Louis struggles to make sense of life.

A post-Hunger Games AU.

24) You Contain In Your Eyes The Sunset And The Dawn | Mature | 38152 

Harry Styles was to spend six months at AT&T Inc. of all telecommunications companies in the world, also known as the largest one in its field. This was the biggest deal of his life; it will both improve his expertise in the domain and maybe secure the job of his dreams. There was only one problem standing in the way, and it came in the form of a stunning, irresistible and intimidating cat hybrid of the name Louis Tomlinson. In other words, his boss.words

25) We Can Go On Forever (When Everything’s Gone Forever) | Mature | 39421

Harry spent most of his adult life focused on either his studies or his books - 5 of which he has already had published before he was 30. Immediately after completing his dissertation, he was offered a lectureship at Cambridge University where he’s been for 2 years now.

This wasn’t the first time in his life that he had felt the incessant itch to know more about a subject by any means. However, this was the first time the subject had been an Omega.

26) Canyon Moon | Explicit | 40895 words

For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry.

Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind.

An A/B/O Lion King AU

27) Strangers In Love | Explicit | 42207 words

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

28) If You're Out There (I'll Find You Somehow) | Explicit | 55916 words

Harry looks so intensely into Louis’ eyes it’s as though he’s reaching in and touching his very soul. “I never thought… I never… I’ve been searching for so long, Louis, but I never gave up. I couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop trying,” Harry says, bottom lip trembling as he strokes the backs of Louis’ knuckles. “I just knew that if you were out there, I’d find you somehow.”

OR the story of how one man’s love changed the world.

29) “If I Cut Out a Heart...” | Explicit | 66225 words

Stripper au! louis is a stripper who’s known for his huge ass. he works at a club owned by harry and everyone wants to fuck him. eventually louis has sex with each of the boys, separately and perhaps eventually all together in a big gang bang. lots of focus on louis’s big bum (even twerking, jiggling, etc.)

30) You Smell Like | Explicit | 185369 words

The one where Louis is the Alpha’s mate and everyone is aware of it except for Louis and Harry. Go figure!

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[popculturebuffet]

X-Men Evolution Reviewcaps: Rogue Recruit

My series long look at X-Men Evolution rolls on as eveyrone’s favorite goth reworking of everyone’s faviorite southerner debuts. The X-Men and Mystique race to bring Rogue to her side after her powers accidently coma a boy. The X-Men try the usual compasion.. while Mystique just tries attempted murder and gaslighting while wearing a wolverine costume. Mother of the year! Meanwhile Kurt tries to get Kitty to likes him, Kitty does something profoundly stupid to prove Wolverine wrong that ends up proving him right, and Wolverine grumbles and is kind of an asshole. Well at least one of those is just an average tuesday for him. We’re going Rogue, Rogue, Rouuuuggeeee under the cut. 

Onto episode 3 though this time I did actually get around to watching a few in a row, so while i’m not MILES ahead of this episode, I do have a better sense of where things are going and where this falls in line with everything else. And this is a big one as it’s the debut of Rogue, easily one of the shows more popular characters from what I can tell and it’s no real suprise. In most incarnations Rogue is a huge fan faviorite, with a tragic but very useful and intresting power that makes for good stories.. and okay in the comics and carton she’s also fanservice incarnate, but that’s not exactly a factor here so moving on.  And here is no exception as naturally, with her goth apperance, and general moody outsider atittude, she was a huge hit with goths and emos one and all! And eveyrone really, it’s a good take despite being almost the oppsite of the angsty but still fesity and funloving 90′s version.. and the ironic part is BOTH are entirely accurate to the comics. And yes like the last time about to dive a bit into the comics.. but unlike the shiar thing this is throughly relevant to how the character is portrayed here and a neat history less for those not in the know, so buckle up. 

What’s intresting is both adapt the character.. just at vastly diffrent points. See most probably think of Rogue as she is now: Bubbly, Scrappy and able to throw a man into a mountain, if still understandably mopey about not being able to touch anyone, thoguh that issues come and gone a dozen times by now because comic books can’t resisit undoing things to meet fan expectations despite most dedicated fans wanting some fucking change once in a while. 

But that’s due to years and years of character development: When Chris Claremont first intorduced her, in an avengers annual no less.. she was a villain, a member of her adopted mother Mystique’s brotherhood of evil mutants, and unlike here, we’ll get into that, she was a fully willing member at first, gleefuly following her mama’s orders to drain the powers of one of Mystique’s most hated enemy: Carol Danvers, aka Ms Marvel and the future Captain Marvel. Yeah this one takes some explination for you non-comic fans, and even some of you comic fans who might not get how one of the more iconic x-men villians has personal beef with Carol.... granted i’m pretty sure half the marvel unvierse has personal beef with Carol in present day after Civil War II, especially tony for murdering him, but story for another time.  It’s actually pretty simple: Chris Claremont was writer of x-men for a decade and easily the most important x-men writer period who created a ton of iconic and well loved characters and shaped Cyclops, Charles Xavier and Magneto into the characters fans know and love among others. And around the same time as his x-men run’s early years in the late 70′s, he was writer of Ms Marvel, and took Carol from a half hearted girl counterpart to the first Captain Marvel with a wonky two identties gimmick, into the asskicker and feminist icon we know today. As such Mystique debuted there and when that book ended, Claremont slided her over to the x-men and the rest is history. And this wasn’t an isolated incident: Sabertooth, aka wolverine’s arch enemy and one of hte more famous mutant baddies, debuted in, of all comic books, iron fist, with Claremont bringing him back years and years later as part of the mutant massacreing Marauders, while Misty Knight and Coleen Wing were breifly supporting characters in x-men inbetween Iron Fist’s cancelation and Iron Fist becoming bros for life with Luke Cage and forming the heroes for hire, bringing the two along as supporting characters in the process. It’s a process writers have contiuned to this day; Bringing a character from other unrelated comics in to keep them out of comic book limbo and one i’m in favor of: as long as their writing the character well and they fit why not.  And like her momma Rogue DIDN’T debut in the pages of X-Men, but in Avengers Annual #10. And no Chris wasn’t writing avengers, though it wasn’t really unusual for another writer to hop in for one annual to pinch hit for the regular writer for whatever reason, with Chris Claremont being one of the few who wrote every annual himself for his run on X-Men. What was is he did so for one reason and one only: To get justice for Carol Danvers after a recent story had screwed her over BAD. Two things before we start: If you haven’t heard of this debacle, my apologizes and rape and abuse trigger warning. If you want to skip this portion of the review just ctrl f HIGHER FASTER FURTHER MORE and you can move right on past this clusterfuck and the aftermath. Anyways in Avengers 200, Carol gave birth via terribly contrived mystical pregnancy to Marcus, son of avengers foe and sometimes ally immortus and creepy asshole. Marcus is revaled to have brainwashed carol into loving him , and making love to him so yeah he raped her physically and mentally and the story ends iwth the “Happy ending” of him whisking carol away with him to his limbo dimension while everyone else is fine with it despite him admitting to using the “subtle manipulations of his machines” to make her love him. So yeah, he kidnapped carol to his limbo dimension, mind controlled her, had his way with her, had her give birth to him so he could come to earth then took her back with him.. and not ONE avenger raced a hand, shield, repulsor or hammer, and yes the big three avengers were very much present for this debacle and very much cuplable. IT’s a throughly disgusting hideous story i’ve only see played out thanks to Linkara, long time comics reviewer and all around sweet guy, reviewing it, though with the panels show to show yes all of this is there, and have no intrest in EVER reaading this vile piece of garbage. If your still curious or after just hearing about it want to see it torn to shreds, here’s the review for you. 

It’s terrible for a variety of other reasons. Naturally Chris, who’d put a LOT of time into building up carol and like any creator who sees their character throughly dragged through the mud, was PISSSSSED.. and so were fans who rightly rioted at the issue, so editorial was more than happy to let one of thier biggest draws  right the ship and also allowed him to take Carol back home to the x-men with him. As for how that happened, after Rogue stole her powers, Carol fell in a river and was rescued by her best friend and fellow Chris Claremont alumnis Spider-Woman, Jessica Drew, who brought her to the x-men since she was a friend of theirs, where charles fixed her mind, though Carol was left with no emotoins attached to most of her memoreis. When the avengers, after scrapping with the brotherhood in some neat bouts, came to visit their friend.. Carol instead laid into them for letting Marcus take her, poitned out just how fucked up it was as well as how, and this actually happend, the avengers downplayed her concerns and tried to get her to connect with her demon spawn instead of worrying about her while others made jokes. Basically just one long page of chris claremont unloading on the issue and Carol unloading on her former friends before staying with her new ones. And to the issues credit the rest of the team. .takes it, is utterly devistated to realize what they’d done, and reflects on if they can ever make up for it or if they even deserve forgivness. She would eventually, mostly because people wanted to forget this story after that for good reason, but it’s still a damn cathartic moment.  HIGHER FASTER FURTHER MORE.. so yeah Carol was now with the x-men, who did end up meeting Rogue during a mission to wipe themselves from goverment records for good reason. And to his credit Chris not only used Carol’s lack of emotions tied to her memories for good drama but gave carol a huge power upgrade as binary, if your curious as to where her glowy headed distctrugion of an entire starfleet in her solo film came from. So okay after about a paragraph not really involving her we get into why this is so important to rogue’s character; Rogue now had Carol’s personality and memories trapped in her head and her mind was blurring between them, something this episode would use, and was falling apart as a result and with her moms Mystique and Destiny unable to help a despearate scared and repetnant Rogue went to her last hope for help saving her sanity and her soul: The X-Men. The X-Men, having both fought her and bonded heavily with her victim, naturally were less than pleased about this, and Colossus outright attacked Rogue before charles stopped him, not unresonably given the circumstances. However after talking with her and realizing both how badly she needed her help and how genuinely she wanted to change, going from a brat in love with her own power to a scared young woman terrified of what she’d done and what she was becoming, decided to roll her into the x-men. And everyone revolted: Carol was understadanbly piss and famously punched Rogue into orbit, while the rest of the x-men threatned to walk. Charles however refused to back down and gave one of his finest speech and one of the characters best moments:

To me this is Charles Xavier, a man who will accept and try to help anyone, regardless of their past, because it’s the right thing.. because they deserve a chance and he will GIVE IT TO THEM. It’s a powerful and well done moment and the x-men relucntantly take her in as a result, eventually seeing her as family as she proved herself.  So yeah  THAT is why I took so long to get here and went through ALL of this: Because this series adapts this period in it’s own unique way, taking out Rogue’s outright villiany mind, but leaving in her being a moodier, more closed off person who is constantly afraid of once again stealing someone’s very soul. She still has her confidence, as idd the comics version, it’s just tempered by a wall she puts up between her and everyone else that wasn’t as present by the time the 90′s series adapted her. And there are other bits i’ll get to as we go and in future episodes, I just felt this story was important as it colors Rogue’s journey here, hence me taking a good portion of the review to dive into it and even then I have more bits to give as we go. So with all this exposition that’s probably lost ya’s out of the way, this is Rogue Recurit. Pitter Patter.  We open in the mighty Missisipi, neighbor to my home state of missouri and home of the deep fried shoe. No wait that’s connecticut my mistake. We meet our unfriendly neighborhood goth moping outside, not really enjoying the dance and probably only having gone because her mom told her not to.. Destiny not Myistque mind. More on that in a minute. She’s being watched by two guys: Cody, who if you know your x-men lore you know this never ends well for him, and his friend uh.. let me check my noootes (Checks wiki while shuffling papers to simulate notes) Ty. Turns out Cody’s been starring at Rogue all week but dosen’t even know her name which to be fair, minus the muscles and being on the football team, is pretty much me in high school and is just as pathetic in 2000 as it would be from 2007-2010. I mean if I just went for it I PROBABLY would’ve been shot down, and the one time I did I indeed was, but at least I would of went for it and maybe learned more about women and not been such a dipstick for the next decade.... “sigh”

Point is Cody awkwardly asks Rogue to dance but like most cool kids, including the kind I hung out with in high school and tended to crush on, she’s there to look COOOOL and mope a bit.. and again tell her mom she can’t tell her what to dooooo. But Cody’s awkwardness and sincerty gets her to say why not, he means well.. a little pity dance can’t hurt. So they dance and then Ty causes this entire episode, yes really, by shoving Cody into her because they happen to be dancing seperatley because Cody’s a goddman gentleman ya maroon, and is respecting her personal space, and IS actually hitting it off as she seems to be enjoying herself. Had he not done that, he at least MIGHT have gottne a kiss before what happens next.. during the fall he accidently touches her skin, which had been mostly covered up and goes into a Coma while Rogue is now stuck in a stupor wondering who she is. Yeah as I omniously hinted at Cody is the guy in every version of Rogue’s origin story,  including I assume the 2000′s one where until doing some research i.e. going to wikipedia then letterboxd to find out if his name was given, who she has her first kiss with.. and thus the poor sap who first gets hit with her absorbtion power and traumtizes her. And here it’s no exception. Cue the opening credits. Which despite this setting up the slow arc of Rogue joining htem.. has Rogue in an x-men uniform with the team. Not that the arc is particuarlly subtle about hiding it, we’ll get there but still.  After the credits Ty is wondering what she did to him.. even though she barely moved when he fell on her, and Ty shoved Cody into him, and for all we know Cody just went into shock. He also easily could’ve fell on an epi pen or something.. I mean she could’ve stabbed him wiht one but that’s more of a candian thing than a southern thing. 

So Ty, who while understandably given Mutants aren’t public and Rogue herself had no idea still casued this by shoving Cody into her without thinking about if either had any medical conditions or if Rogue you know WANTED to phsyically touch him that soon, and yes diffrent standards and all but even 2000 this was stupid, decides to mess up things further when Rogue tries to run and tries to block the way. Now granted I get it on some level: For all he knows Rogue drugged his best friend and she needs to be there anyway to answer the police.. but counter arguments 1) She may have a record (She dosen’t) and while not having DONE anything may get brought up on charges anyway.  2) If she DID drug cody with a needle of something WHO SAYS SHE DOSEN’T HAVE MORE AND CAN’T JUST STAB YOUR DUMB ASS 3) she’s got a VERY distinctinve haircut with a white streak, wears a very specific outfit she probably son’t have time to change out of , and everyone there saw her. YOu can tell the police what she looks like. They will find her.  No instead she tries blocking her and she football tackles him.. because Cody is a footballer because this show, much like Tommy Wiseau, weirdly loves football. though unlike the room most instances it comes up, the first episode, cody being one here, and a future episode where the objective is to get the ball from your opposing x-man, all make some sense versus “Let’s go put on tuxes and play football because that’s what friends do huhhhhh?”. But yeah THIS is why I brought up Rogue’s past: becuase this episode heavily uses the part where she had Carol’s memories.. and would occasionally get messed up between who she was, with one issue having her lapse into being carol to rescue her ex from capture, which he dosen’t take well for obvious reasons. This episode uses something similar with Rogue’s brain a bit fried from taking in cody and thus not being sure where she ends and he begins, which is a very intresting idea and was a cool wya to go about having her powers activate. I mean sure it’s the second time in two episodes a mutant’s powers have traumatically awkaned. but both were distinct and interesting and it’s a staple of x-men stories to have this sort of thing happen. 

Meanwhile Rogue’s caretaker Destiny, who we flashed to a bit during the awakening of her powers, calls Mystque. I mentioned her ealrlier in jokes but for those unaware both here and in the comics Destiny is a pre cog, although sh’es an elderly woman in the comics, or rather was having died decades ago in real life, meaning she can see the fuuuuttureeeeee. And thus she saw what was about to happen but couldn’t prevent it. Mysitque is apparently railing her out on the other end over it.. and not in the fun way they usuallly do. And that’’s not crude ininsiuation.. in the comics.. Chris Claremont wrote them as a gay couple and only didn’t explicltly say anything because Jim Shooter was a homophobic moron, even if he had the common sense to stop the kitty and colossus thing because dear god why was that a thing, chaste or not dear god why. The point is Chris fully meant both as lesbians though Mysitque became bisexual under other writers, and the two finally kissed on panel, in flashback last year and Msique wanting her revivied, the x-men can come back from the dead now in comics and Xavier and Magneto refusing for complicated reasons I won’t go into here, and Desitny herself knowing they might not and telling her to burn Krakoa to the ground if she dosen’t get to come back is a major bubbling plot point that got set up earlier this year. So yeah I fully see them as a couple here. ANd yes mistue was with her even as an old lady, it’s really sweet and misty is also immortal so they’ve been together a long time. Also fun fact you probably dind’t need to know: Chris Claremont FULLY inteded to have it turn out the two were Nightcrawler’s biological parents. Mistque is a shapeshifter and can become a man after all.. I like to think that’s what happened here since thankfully the show decided NOT to go with the “kurt’s dad is a demon” explination from around the same time.. and yes that’s a thing and yes it’s fucking stupid and only ever worked under jason aaron who made Kurt’s dad into a pirate who raided heaven and lead to the x-men pirating up alongside a about to come back from the dead nightcrawler to kick his ass. And yes much like the misqute shapeshifting a dick to make a child being shopped around, this actually happened. Comics are awesome sometimes and I genuinely wish Destiny was kurt’s mom. Also yeah spoilers Mystique is nightcrawler’s mom here as usual, including possibly in the movies but it’s kept vauge in both timelines. 

Destiny explains that while she kept Rogue’s powers under wraps, giving her a phony skin condition and having her wear skin covering clothes, she couldn’t keep her away from teenage things forever and figured she’d be fine.. she was wrong but hey her precontion isn’t something she can control and she can still see the fucking future, so it’s not like it’s a bad trade off. Myistque is of course coming to collect her but Destiny warns her that, naturally, the x-men are going to be there soon. 

Speaking of the X-Men, Wolverine is breaking into the x-men mansion in a ninja costume while storm tries to thrwart hm. Yes there is actual context to this and he is a trained ninja so this fits.. yes really he apparentlyt rained with ninjas as part of his backstory and later had a samurai sword fight iwth his girlfriends dick of a dad twice and has had many since then since even with his claws the image of wolverine wielding a sword is fucking awesome. He crawls through the vents but Storm freezes them and he’s forced to enter the danger room and then tears some machines apart because chuck stops him because APPARENTLY their expesnive.. even though he can afford to buy his teenage son a sports car and himself a fucking rolls, so no Chuck I don’t see why Logan would assume you can’t afford to buy more death machines. 

Scott rightly asks what the hell their supposed to learn from one of their teachers putting on his ninja robes and trying to sneak into his own house while another teacher tries to murder him. And yeah with enoguh episodes I can fully say my assement was accurate, and not only that this scott has a bit of a temper at times, being a bit quicker to fly off the handle while also having a clear sarcastic streak, something his comics counterpart would thankfully soon pick up and that’s come back in full under jonathan hickman:

It’s.. a long story.. a bunch of racist genocidal scientests decided to inject themselves with devolving serum to protect their project from the x-men.. okay maybe not that long a story. BUt I LIKE that this scott is flawed, but not enoguh to make him unlikeable just enough to round him out: He’s charming, empathetic and a tactical genius.. but he can also be hot headed, sarcastic and impulsive. I’ts a nice ballance that dosen’t prevent him from being likeable or useful to the team, but keeps him intresting and gives him room to grow.  What I really am liking about the series so far is the team is fairly fleshed out.. except Jean and Storm unforuntantley as Storm really hasn’t gotten enough screne time to shine like her comics counterpart and Jean is just sort of “popular girl type a who’s sweet to everyone, but also still badass”. She’s still better than the 90′s cartoon, as she can actually do stuff more often and is a vital member of the team, and has mor eof a personality, but I hope we get more to her as we go. But otherwise the characters are layerd, flawed but likeable, and enjoyable to watch, and it helps with these earlier more awkard episodes, papering over the weaker aspects with strong character. 

Anyways Logan explains why they did all this: both to show the kids how to infiltrate big complexes, which given most x-missions are “investgate a base of some sort wher eno good is coming of anything”, case in point the mission in the picture above, it’s a valid and useful skill, and to test the mansion’s security, suggesting since the vents are crawlable to electrify them and add poision gas. Storm objects to the poision gas part as well.. their only enimies besides mystique are two teenagers who while dicks don’t really deserve to choke to death. Wolverine’ relucntantly agreers.. he’ll get em next security update. Next timeee.  Kitty meanwhile wonders if anyone else is freaked out and just gets blank stares.. a great gag and a great bit of character as she just joined and had a fairly normal life before all this. Kurt assures her she’ll get used to it, but his telporting over and offering popcorn fails to impress her and she nopes out of there, though Jean reassures him chicks will dig the fuzzy eventually. This is a nice nod to the comics where , with Kurt being the only non-human passing x-man, Kitty was afraid of him for some time, but slowly came around going from being horrified to him to defending him to evelangenlical lunatic reverend stryker, he was a preacher in the comics but no less vile or murder happy, telling him that kurt was one of the noblest souls she ever met after he angrily lambasted him as not in god’s will because you know, he looks like a demon.. and apparently is half of one but let’s ignore that bollocks shall we? Here i’ts more he’s coming on a bit strong on top of that, but it still works reconfigured like that.  Anyways enough teen romance, to me my x-men as Charles needs the full team for a mission and it’s the first time we’ve HAD a full team mission which makes sense: Episode one only had two active x-men and one who just joined and episode 2 only needed a smaller team for both subplots so we split the team minus storm in half. Here we have our first full mission: To find Rogue as Xavier believes she’s a danger to herself and others.. which isn’t exactly wrong when her power can abosrb at a touch and she has two entirely diffrent minds overlaping in her head. I do questoin however going in full combat gear, as they do. Bringing it, no sweat what if someone shows up to attack them, their apparently aware of the brotherhood as of next episode... which makes little sense but whatever. But when they land they go out in full superhero gear which not only ends up playing into myistques hands , more on that in a bit but makes htem look super supscious. And this could just be wanting more costume action early on which would be fine.. if the previous episode hadn’t had jean in plain clothes to talk to kitty, because yeah most people freaked out about their powers probably wouldn’t assume the best of someone in tactical gear iwth a big x on their costume! Gah. I”m glad I went ahead simply to know the x-men do get smarter.. a little. 

Anyways, that stupidity aside on the jet Kurt is flying for the first time with Scott proud of his skill saying he’ll be an ace.. and taking it back when Kurt starts driving with his feet.. even though to me that’s just as impressive as while he has that classic arms behind the head relaxed pose, he is still paying attention, has his feet on ten and two and, and it’s a fact that I forget sometimes: His feet are just as, or at least, almost as good at gripping as his hands. It’s why he can wall crawl like spiderman. Their llike gorilla feet but better. So yeah that joke dosen’t really land.  Meanwhile it’s time for what an older man thinks two teenage girls talk about.. and I just noticed looking at the credits this episode is written by Simon Furman, one of the more renowed transformers creators and write of the UK comics and later the US comics, as well as the first few mini series and one shots for the first idw continuity.. granted the latter is a bit infamous for what he did to arcee, which I both don’t know enough about and don’t have enough time to get into here, nor have I read enough of his work to gush, but I sitll felt it worth mentioning. ANd it’s not uncommmon for comic book writers to write for animation: Greg Weisman started in comics before moving to animation with Captain Atom’s post-crisis solo series, Dwayne McDuffie had a rather sizeable career in comics as a writer and editor and returned to writing comics in the 2000′s for a stint, and Marv Wolfman helped make the treatment for beast machines, while Peter David’s done scattered episodes of various shows, most memorably for me Ben 10. So not a HUGELY uncommmon thing but still worth noting.  Anyways legend or no, he still makes the rest of this scene awkward as Kitty fawns over scott, Jean ends up agreeing and in annoying fit of jealously kurt ports to the roof to do .. some sort of stunt to impress kitty and end sup having to come back in due to wind resitance, teleproting on her by accident and pissing her off. It’s not a terrible scene, as it shows some vunerablity in kurt and furhters the jean scott love triangle but in revisiting it it just feels a tad awkardly put in there, especially since so far kitty having a crush on scott goes nowhere and love triangle wise it’s more Jean, Scott and Rogue.. more on that next time. Wolverine mutters about kids in annoyance.. so for the first and probably last time in my existance I feel the exact same as wolverine for one shining moment. 

Mysitque arrives and is angry at her wife for letting their daughter get away, Irene reitrates the dance thing.. you get it. Luckily having a precog for a wife is handy for more than timing your orgasms to happen at the same time, and Irene knows she’s going to Cody’s hosue which she thinks is her own and that’s where we see her next. Now while this episodes quality is mixed... I do like this element of Rogue torn between two identites not sure which is her.. it’s thorughly intresting and hasn’t been used enough in adaptations, though the 90′s series did do a good job with it’s own take of having Carol and Rogue fight for Rogue’s body. 

At any rate wolverine attacks.. wow jesus wolvie I know you don’t like kids but this is a bit far.... at least go back home and take it out on duncan if you need to murder a teenager sheesh. Of course it’s actually mysitque whose trying to make her afraid of the x-men, shifting into storm next. It’s not a terrible tactic.. it has specific faults i’m saving for the end, but in the short term using the x-men in costume to scare her, then having Irene show up and tell her their mutant hunters.. it’s not bad. It also nicely back fries when the x-men arrive, charles unable to pointpoint her due to her brain being scramble, and end up going down the alleyway with Wolvie in tow causing her to book it. 

Kurt, whose really on the ball outside of the plane stunt this episode, comes up with a better plan than “Chase the frightened teenager around missiipi and hope it works” and realizes since she’s clearlys cared of logan, even if they don’t know why he can try talking to her while in inducer form. Logan relucntantly agrees but tells kurt to keep an the rookie, i.e. kitty which pisses her off. Remember this for a second from now. 

So Kurt.. actually succeeds in calming her down, pointing out he like her was once freaked out, that being diffrent is okay etc, usual line but it works.. then ... yeah that second from now is now now as Kitty decides “she dosen’t look so tough” AND TACKLES ROGUE. Who they know has the power to absorb things by touch even if she’s mostly covered, and who was about to turn to their side. Just because Logan, it turns out CORRECTLY, insulted her. Just.. jesus this is bad writing.. Kitty isn’t this obnoxious or usless later on and while she could sometimes fuck up in the comics..it was less noticable since she was the ONLY teenager, and still once fried a demon with a jet engine. Here? She hasn’t done any of that so she just comes off as a dumbass brought on a mission too soon who causes her friend to not long after this get his powers absorbed by rogue.. though weirdly she dosen’t get his blue skin, which annoys me a bit but whatever. Animation budgets. Point is kitty lost their target and got kurt comaed.  Kitty paniced realizes she can reach the professor telepathically, and we do get a great gag of her doing so too loud, while Logan grumbles about not going with them.. which is a godo point.. why didn’t he just.. you know take the costume off. even if she panicked if she learned who he was later, they would at least have her on the plane and could easily knock her out gently, especially logan since he recovers fast and would the instant his healing factor came back, and then deal with her panic and her fear of them they didn’t know about back home versus here. He didn't even have to come with her just hang towards the back in plainclothes. Instead his telling Kitty she sucks caused her to prove that assessment accurate. So Charles goes to help while Storm, Cyclops and Jean continue the search They find her and Jean shows her empathy again, and I have to admit the character really isn’t that bad in moments like this.. the only reason I ragged on her coming to kitty last time is she made the rookie mistake of telling Kitty about her telepathy, which, while better sooner than later, was done so clumsily it backfired. Here.. she genuinely and softly talks to Rogue, and offers her a communicator which looks like a neuralizer for some reason.. seriously why not just hide it in a compact or a watch or something Chuck? But that aside i’ts a nice moment.. that storm accidently ruins by showing up and terrifying her away. Yeah that’s PART of my problem with the episode right there is jwhile it changes up setting and what not it’s still just “The x-men find Rogue , get her calm, then she runs when one of the x-men mystique traumatized her with shows up”. It just gets old fast despite some clever switches here and there. 

Thankfully we’re at the climax and since Mystique saw all that she shifts into Cyclops.. and up until now I haven’t mentioned this but it becomes a glaring issue here: Mystique’s dialouge when shapeshifted when coming up is basically variations of I’M GOING TO KILL YOU. Which not only is a bit dull, as she apparnelty knows the x-men and at least could make them sound like evil versions of the people we know but also REALLY dumb... again i’m saving this for the end of the episode because it all comes together with her endgame for Rogue, but even if you haven’t watched the show given what’s happened with Toad and Avalanche you can probably guess. But yeah while watching I WAS going to lambast her for not using Jean.. but she’s actually clever here, using Scott who Rogue hasn’t met to unerve her already, then shifting into Jean to take back the chance she offered. IT scares Rogue out who naturlaly books from Jean. 

Rogue then touches storm.. and Cyclops promintently craps himself as he realizes “Oh shit an already scared and psonically scrambled teenager just got an omega mutant’s levels power but with none of the experince and 80 times the angst”. So yeah Rogue’s powers spin out of control in what’s a great sequence and she hit sa transformer but ends up running. Xavier decideds to call this one a wash, and can’t find her anymore anyway as Cody has faded and decide she has to come willingly. Kurt reawakens to Kitty’s delight. Yay that mildly annoying subplot is done.  We end at the school and this is what i’ve been building towards folks: Myistque enrolls Rogue in the school, comersrates on magneto on a job well done and Rogue looks at her commincator. And now for the reason I was a bit patient on this: Mystique’s plan is really shortsighted and dumb. Now pretending to be the x-men, that works.. but her impersinations are so shallow, ESPECIALLY for an experinced shapeshifter that the minute Rogue gets to know any of the x-men, her entire facade will start to crumble. Or if she touches one of them and gets their memories.. which never happens even when she borrows one of their powers next time but hey. Instead of making the x-men seem like gaslighting manipulators she makes them seem like petty murderous villians.. when 5 minutes with Scott or jean or just watching either will cure that. And sure as we see next time she TRIES keeping her from talking to them for too long.. but as we also see school projects happen and she can’t control EVERYTHING without raising some red flags with her faculity. She’s principal, if a teacher’s supscious she’s abusing a student she brought in, they hopefully won’t hesitate to call someone to look into it and as a shapeshifter running a dodgy mutant milita made up of students you brought in that’s the last thing you fucking want. It’s really not even a remote surpise this only lasts three episodes before she turns, and makes me question why do this arc if it’s going to be so half assed? In the comics Myistque was not only a master planner, even getting her team jobs as goverment enforcers when she realized being anti-human terrorists in a very racist climate was just going to get them all killed, but she also CARED about Rogue and her using empathy and kidness on TOP of the manipulation would make Rogue trusting her so much make more sense than “Well it’s you or the attempted murderers”. It’s just really fucking sloppy and to it’s credit Wolverine and the X-Men ended up doing this sort of plotline 80 times better, with Rogue being a villian for a while AFTER the x-men had broken up, left her with nothing, and things had only gotten worse for mutants.. and I think bein ga double agent, it’s been a while, but her reasons for turning there feel natural in comparison to this. The x-men aren’t much smarter as they only connect the dots that maybe it’s a shapeshifter, a shapeshfiter I belive xavier, storm and wolverine alread know about and coul’dve told the students. Gah. 

Final Thoughts:  This episode isn’t very good and in reviewing it I really realized it when it took me 4 or so diffrent sessions to finish this thing. While it has good parts, like a lot of ROgue’s stuff, the danger room break in, it’s held back by stupid decisions, a stupid villian plot, and a waste of great POTETIAL stories for a half assed one from a writer who clearly can do better and a show that will soon enough. Glad to finally be done with this one.. I might not come back to evolution for a second, but when I do I promise it won’t take this long. 

Next Time on X-Men: Evolution: Blob debuts, crushes on jean to an obssesive and quickly very stalkery degree and also nearly murders duncan with a locker... so he’s clealry a mixed bag. Meanwhile Scott and Rogue get paried up on assigment and Paul wears out his welcome Like this if you enjoyed it, I have other x-men evolution reviews in the x-men tag on my blog, as well as other animation goodness, and if ther’es an episode of another x-men show, including the gifted and legion as i have hulu, or marvel show in general you’d like me to cover just drop me a pm to comission it for a reasonable fee. ANd until next time, courage. 

[kazdoesntknow]

sorry for the stickers and lines in the latter image of leo, it’s the original one from before i got my sketchbook.

i ended up changing leo’s face. his right eye is burned, as well as his shoulder, and he’s blind in his right eye.

he wears goggles now- lightly based off of steampunk goggles. they read thermals, as well as zoom in and out. he’s also the only turtle who still has their mystic weapon- april still has hers.

leo’s really been through things. at his current age of twenty-one, he’s the leader of the team. though at sixteen, when he and his brothers went to fight draxum and most of the foot clan, he realized they were being overrun and he surrendered as a distraction so his brothers would be able to escape. he ended up being tortured over the next two years, as well as experimented on, but he eventually escaped and returned home, where he’s now planning on how to take his world back from the yokai, establish equality, and throw big mama and draxum away for their crimes, seeing as those two released shredder and made sure everyone else was shoved underground as the yokai had been.

he’s quieter now, and less quick to joke, and matured a lot faster than he should have. but somewhere in that heart of his, he’s still the same leon. he’s just struggling with how to express it.

he has a lot of mental disorders due to everything that has happened.

again, sorry for the stickers and stuff. that’ll go for just about everyone else,,,,

so this is raph. probably not the best drawn, i’ll redraw him soon, i promise that much. but anyway, as you can see, he’s got a few scars, and where leo has teal eyes, raph has green. ( aka i wanted to give them eye colors, and here they are. ) he’s twenty two, and during leo’s two years away, he’d begun to think leo was dead. but he blames himself fully for leo’s disappearance, and regrets not being the one to think of surrendering first. he doesn’t have his mystic weapon, though he does use his sais. once leo returned, he passed leadership onto him, because leo was the one who showed leadership and protected them all.

raph’s still his cuddly self, though his fear of being alone has gotten stronger, and he usually sleeps in mikey’s room to avoid waking up with panic attacks. he also has a strong fear of abandonment, and is terrified his brothers will leave or get kidnapped again.

also heavily blames himself for splinter’s death, even though he wasn’t fighting shredder with miko and casey.

stickers, yada yada. you get the gist.

anyway! this is the baby, mikey. i liked the addition of a bandana, so i threw it on him. he’s the youngest at age 20. upon leo disappearing, he chose to neglect the new way of life and pretend that nothing’s changed. upon leo’s return, though, he wasn’t quite sure what to do. he couldn’t seem to comfort leo. but mikey tried his best anyway.

during leo’s time in captivity, mikey was constantly with raph, bonding more heavily with his elder brother, due to donnie being more in his lab to deal with his own problems. mikey still loves to paint, and he simply wishes he could see sunlight again. he often plays video games with raph and does quite a bit of art- the lair is covered in his art, whether it be on canvases or walls. he chats about everything he wants to do.

he probably took draxum’s betrayal the hardest, seeing as he was the one the most supportive of draxum’s redemption. he wanted his two dads, and now, sadly, he has none.

and this is donatello, the last, but definitely not the least, of the turtles.

he fully blames himself for the abduction of his twin. fighting draxum was also very difficult for him, because his battle shell was torn apart ( again ) and he was carried home due to the wounds on his face and on his shell. he ends up cutting off his right arm for what he claims to be self improvement, though there is an underlying truth no one’s managed to dig out yet. he woud have cut off his other upon leo’s return, but leo had stopped him from doing that.

still a tech guy, he tends to isolate himself in his lab, save for whenever miko decides she wants to waltz in there like she owns the place. he doesn’t find her much of a bother because she’s usually pretty quiet. he’s still sarcastic and sassy, but he is very angry and defensive, and forgets to eat and sleep. he, though he would never admit it, probably missed leo the most because of their twin bond.

he has pilot goggles now, which is pretty neat, i think. they’re modified by the mystic crystals, though, so they work the same as his old ones did.

this is casey jones, age 22. living,,, somewhat his best life.

he met the turtles when he was fifteen, while he was out being a bit,,, crazy on the streets and doing his vigilante thing. he’s played hockey since middle school, and absolutely loves it. he’s learned hand to hand combat, and at school, he’s close friends with april o’neil. though at first, he had no idea she knew about the turtles until she went to introduce him to them, and... well, it just hit him. he was like “hey, i know those guys!”

he went with miko and splinter to help in stopping the shredder, and feels pretty sad about splinter dying, so he does the usual thing: vigilante shit. he fights off yokai who are harming humans or mutants, with the help of april and mayehm. he has hockey sticks, golf clubs, and baseball bats.

overall, casey’s a fun guy to hang out with. currently, he’s working on building up a resistance group to fight back, with leo’s strict instruction. in previous years, he was doing it on his own accord.

APRIL O’NEIL! age 21.

she’s pretty neat. has a scar on her chin that actually isn’t from fighting- her and casey were fucking around on the skateboard ramp in the lair and she fell and,,, chin scar. her jacket is immortal. her glasses are broke, though, and she had to tape them together, but she’s not too mad about it. in fact, she’s not too mad about anything.

she fought big mama with lavi, and though they lost, they managed to escape, and april still has her mystic bat. she snatched that up real fast when she bolted. she ended up forced underground, and she hangs out with her mom sometimes, and tries to hang out with casey vigilanting, and occassionally bugs donnie in his lab, or tries to help lavi pull the family back together- not to much avail.

she’s smart, and funny, and sassy. she’s the same as she was when she was younger, but she’s also gotten to be more independent and strong. she’s very confident, and though she’s been through a lot, she has a firm belief that they’ll win soon enough.

this is hizashi mikoto, an oc.

she’s a small. age 21. she’s formerly a business CEO, despite her young age, and graduated from MIT at the age of 15. she was raised in japan until she was twelve years old, and upon the death of her father and sister, she ended up moving to america with her mom. when she turned fifteen, her mom ended up dying as well to a foot clan attack. her relationship with her mom wasn’t the best- her ninja mother was fascinated with science, especially mutations, and inserted tiny bits of chameleon dna into her daughter through spars with swords. miko’s now partially chameleon. she met the boys by literally falling in on them. chasing down a few criminals vigilanting, she ended up falling into their lair and spraining their wrist when she was fourteen years old.

she fought the shredder with casey and splinter, and heavily blames herself for splinter’s death. she’s in love with technology and science, having of built a company off a computer chip she developed when she was twelve years old. so her favorite spot in the lair is in donnie’s lab. but she also likes to spar, and write on occassion, and is sometimes found watching tv with mikey.

this is lavi, the last oc.

gunslinger. she was born in watertown, new york, where her mother had abandoned her before her father found her and her little brothers in their home, but spent most of her life in maine, until conflict caused her to move away from her family and live with her mémé ( great grandmother ) up in new york. wanting to be a police detective and invest her time in chasing down cases at the age of fourteen, she ran around in a deep search for something to do, something to solve, and one of those days, she found leo. and literally just peppered him with questions about where she could go to find some cases to solve. and then they started being friends because “finding cases” turned into “spa day in the hidden city.”

after leo’s disappearance, she ended up searching for the turtle with donnie. the two were relentless in their searching, but two years later, they ended up finding him because he had broken himself out. she tries her best to comfort him as she had the rest of the turtles and their friends.

often passes out in a pile of pillows. leo usually throws a fluffy blanket over her.

but yeah! those are the main characters,,,, lemme know what you think!