#(a 50+ year old religiously motivated murder machine)

[cry-ptidd]

Alexander Anderson x textposts

[lilbcy-blog]

Lars Croft (OC Muse) Info (UNDER CUT)

VERSE: Main FANDOM: Tomb Raider DATE: 4/10/2017

FULL NAME: Lars Alexander Croft NICKNAME/ALIAS: L.A.

ORIGIN: His mother’s family is an entrepreneuristic line of archaeologists, most famous of all, his mother. PET NAME: Kiddie, squirt, Purple-bud, Mini-Lara, Little Croft SIGNATURE: (What is their handwriting like?) GENDER: Male GENDER ROLE: Masculine gender role. ORIENTATION: Heterosexual Heteromantic (Single-Interest, Straight) REAL AGE: 26 (Main) AGE APPEARANCE: 7 years younger. BIRTHDAY: Friday, February 14th, 1989, 9:49 A.M. (Main), 2013 (Survivor) BIRTHPLACE: Addenbrooke's Hospital, Hills Rd, Cambridge CB2 0QQ, England, UK ASTROLOGICAL SIGN (Western):Aquarius ZODIAC SIGN (Eastern): Tiger IMMEDIATE FAMILY: 

Richard Croft (Grandfather) †

Amelia Croft (Grandmother) †

Atlas DeMornay (Grand-Uncle)

Benjamin Croft (Great-Grandfather) †

Rose Croft (Great-Great-Grandmother) †

Almina Marie Croft (Ancestor) †

Thomas Edward Croft (Ancestor) †

Scarlett Croft (Ancestor) †

PARENTING: Lara Croft (Mother), Unknown Father. UPBRINGING: Strict yet adventurous.

(on a scale of 1 - 10, how good was):

INFANCY: ([0-2]) 9.5 CHILDHOOD: ([3-12]) 10 ADOLESCENCE: ([13-17] Teen years) 10 ADULTHOOD: ([18+]) 9.6

SPECIES: Human ETHNICITY: English-American BLOOD TYPE: (Self explanatory) A+ PREFERRED HAND: Ambidextrous FACIAL TYPE: Oval EYE COLOR: Greenish-brown HAIR COLOR: Dark brown HAIRSTYLE: Pushed-Back SKIN TONE: Peach BODY TYPE: Mesomorph BUILD: Strongish face, toned arms, more durabily, more flexibility. HEIGHT: 5′11 WEIGHT: 143 lbs FACIAL HAIR: Shaven SHOE SIZE: 14 BIRTHMARKS/SCARS: Scar, across his face DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: None to tell ... except, maybe something on his hand. HEALTH: 7/10 ENERGY: 8.5/10 MEMORY: 10/10 SENSES: 8/10 ALLERGIES: Cinnamon HANDICAPS: Lumbar spinal stenosis MEDICATION: Numerous nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) PHOBIAS: Macro-Ophidiophobia (fear of large snakes: boas, anacondas, other constrictors), Thanatophobia. ADDICTIONS: LSD MENTAL DISORDERS: Death-induced depression & anxiety STYLE: American roc (sometimes Metal) MODE OF DRESS: Professional adventurer GROOMING: Semi (between messy and well-kept) POSTURE: Straight GAIT: Moderate COORDINATION: 8.7/10 HABITS AND MANNERISMS: (tbh) SCENT: Mix of fancy colognes. Sometimes Degree and Old Spice. MOOD: Mostly Cheerful ATTITUDE: Willing to interact, yet semi-private STABILITY: Emotionally 6/10 EXPRESSIVENESS: Somewhat Extrovert WHEN HAPPY: Plays electric guitar. WHEN DEPRESSED: Plays sad American rock. WHEN ANGRY: Goes out for an adventure. CURRENT RESIDENCE: Praça Gen. Tibúrcio - Urca, Rio de Janeiro - RJ, 22290-270, Brazil 

RELATES TO: His mother. Pets/Familiars: 10 German shepherds.

WARDROBE: (Character’s closet.–formal, casual, or other kind of wear?)

FUNDS: Unknown, but by heritage, millions or billions of pounds. HOME: Pendennis Castle,  Castle Drive, Falmouth TR11 4LP, United Kingdom

TRANSPORTATION: Rolls-Royce Wraith. LICENSE PLATE NUMBER: U-BL0K3 COLLECTIONS: Ancient artifacts, animal skins, skulls (human and animal), sculptures MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: (In money) PRIZED POSSESSION: One of Tutankhamun’s death masks

LOVERS: A few college students. MARITAL STATUS: Single TURN-ONS: Cute laugh, piercing eyes, intelligence, charisma POSITION: Dominant PLAYS: Roleplay. ELEMENT: Water OCCUPATION: Tomb raider, adventurer, archaeologist, student, hitboy. WORK ETHIC: Very hard worker – in all occupations. RANK: (From 1 to 50) 22 INCOME: 89K in US Dollars. WEALTH STATUS: Upper (wealthy) EXPERIENCE: High-moderate. ORGANIZATIONS/AFFILIATIONS: Croft Royal Family, British Royal Family, Endurance Crew, British Special Services, British Historians’ Society. IQ: 213 average. EDUCATION: High. SCHOOL: King’s College, Strand, London WC2R 2LS, UK GRADE: Almost all A’s. SPECIAL EDUCATION: Not held back, or skipped. Made 2 honor rolls. SOCIAL STEREOTYPE: Geekish Punk. DEGREES: Bachelor’s INTELLIGENCE: Interpersonal EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES:Archery and soccer. RELIGION: Calvinist CRIME RECORD:

11 murders

MOTIVATION: Love for his family. PRIORITIES: First, God. Second, Family. Third, Business. PHILOSOPHY: Nothing is impossible. POLITICAL PARTY: Republican Conservative ETIQUETTE: Good at the table CULTURE: Mostly tidy. INFLUENCES: Mom, Dad. RELATES TO: Dad. TRADITIONS: Calvinist traditions, English traditions, Christmas, Easter. SUPERSTITIONS: m  i  r  r  o  r  s   .  .  . HOBBIES/INTERESTS: Firearms, hunting, history. SKILLS/TALENTS: Studies, sculpting, art, writing, guitar, singing, dancing, survival SENSE OF HUMOR: Propert, rarely naughty. PET PEEVES: Disloyalty and arrogance. SUPERSTITIONS/BELIEFS: Illuminati DREAMS/NIGHTMARES: Death of his mother. QUIRKS: Sleeps upside-down. SAVVY: the political/military/underground lingo. CAN’T UNDERSTAND: Vietnamese. CLOSET HOBBY: Adventuring. GUILTY PLEASURE: 420-blaze-it.

LANGUAGES: English, French, Italian, German, Portuguese, Spanish, Chinese, Korean, Russian, Latin, Japanese, etc. ACCENT: English VOICE: Semi-hard SPEECH IMPEDIMENTS: None. GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS: Greetings. STATE OF MIND: Interested COMPLIMENT: ‘You are stunning.’ INSULT: ‘Bloke.’ EXPLETIVE: ‘Shyte.’ TAG LINE: ' however ... ’ SIGNATURE QUOTE: ’ i walk a lonely road, the only road that i have ever known. ’ HOROSCOPE: Aquarius JUNG: ESFJ: Providers. Traditionalists all the way. They are also quite sociable for an Earth sign, and they like having things planned out. ENNEAGRAM: Type 5 : The Intense, Cerebral Type; Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated MORMAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Good SIN: Lust VIRTUE: Humility COMPARISON: Bobcat SYMBOL: Holy Grail with books inside MOTTO: none as of yet THEME SONG: ‘Boulevard of Broken Dreams’ by Green Day

WEAPON: 

Webley Mk. VI - .455 Webley (2x)

Lee-Enfield No. 1 Mk.III* (HT)

Sten Mk II (2x)

Trench Gun

5 TNT

5 Grenades

TROPES: Just-Like-His-Mother

[  WEALTH  ]

$ Financial : wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty / subsisting. ✚ Medical : fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable ✪ Class or Caste : upper / middle / working / street trash / slave / unsure ✔ Education : qualified / unqualified / studying / other ✖ Criminal Record : yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but has not been caught yet

[  FAMILY  ]

◒ Children : has a child or children / has no children / wants children / verse dependent / is a child (in primary verses) ◑ Relationship with Family : close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased / estranged ◔ Affiliation : orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent / not applicable / verse dependent

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES  ]

♦ extroverted / introverted / in between ♦ disorganized / organized / in between ♦ close-minded / open-minded / in between ♦ calm / anxious / in between ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between ♦ cautious / reckless / in between ♦ patient / impatient / in between ♦ outspoken / reserved / in between ♦ leader / follower / in between ♦ empathetic / unempathetic / in between ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between ♦ traditional / modern / in between ♦ hard-working / lazy / in between ♦ cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown ♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown

[  BELIEFS  ]

★ Faith : monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic / it’s complicated ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✮ Belief in an Afterlife : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✯ Belief in Reincarnation : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ❃ Belief in Aliens : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✧ Religious : orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical : yes / no

[  SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION  ]

❤ Sexuality : heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual / Demisexual ❥ Sex : sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / clueless ♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / curious ❣ Sexually : adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious / inhibited ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all

[  ABILITIES ]

☠ Combat Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none   ≡ Literacy Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

[  HABITS  ]

☕ Drinking Alcohol : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ☁ Smoking : trying to quit / never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ✿ Other Narcotics : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ✌ Medicinal Drugs : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ☻ Indulgent Food : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess $ Splurge Spending : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ♣ Gambling : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

( obvious aesthetics in bold. secret aesthetics italicized )

[ COLORS ] red. brown. orange. yellow. green. blue. purple. pink. black. white. teal. silver. gold. grey. lilac. metallic. matte. royal blue. strawberry red. charcoal grey. forest green.apple red. navy blue. crimson. cream. mint green. chartreuse.

[ ELEMENTS ] fire. ice. water. air. earth. rain. snow. wind. moon. stars. sun. heat.cold.steam. frost. lightning. sunlight. moonlight. dawn. dusk. twilight. midnight. sunrise. sunset. dewdrops. acid.

[ BODY ] claws. long fingers. fangs. teeth. wings. tails. lips. bare feet. freckles. bruises. canine. scars. scratches. wounds. burns. spikes. feathers. webs. eyes. hands. sweat. tears. feline. chubby. curvy. flexible. short. tall. normal height. muscular. piercing. tattoos.

[ WEAPONS ] fists. sword. dagger. spear. arrow. hammer. shield. poison. guns. axes. throwing axes. whips. knives. throwing knives. pepper sprays. tasers. machine guns. slingshots. katanas. maces. staffs. wands. powers. magical items. magic. rocks. mud balls

.[ MATERIALS ] gold. silver. platinum. titanium. diamonds. pearls. rubies. sapphires.emeralds. amethyst. metal. iron. rust. steel. glass. wood. porcelain. paper. wool.fur.lace.leather. silk. velvet. denim. linen. cotton. charcoal. clay. stone. asphalt. brick. marble. dust.glitter. blood. dirt. mud. smoke. ash. shadow. carbonate. rubber. synthetics. latex. spandex.

[ NATURE ] grass. leaves. trees. bark. roses. daisies. tulips. sunflowers. lavender.petals.thorns. seeds. hay. sand. rocks. roots. flowers. ocean. river. meadow. forest. desert. tundra. savanna. rainforest. caves. underwater. coral reef. beach. waves. space. clouds. mountains.

[ ANIMALS ] lions. wolves. eagles. owls. falcons. hawks. swans. vultures. snakes. turtles. ducks. bugs. spiders. birds. whales. dolphins. fish. sharks. horses. cats. dogs. bunnies. praying mantises. crows. ravens. mice. lizards. raccoons. minks. foxes. werewolves. unicorns. pegasus. dragons. rats.

[ FOODS/DRINKS ] sugar. salt. candy. bubblegum. wine. champagne. hard liquor. whiskey.beer. coffee. tea. spices. herbs. apple. orange. lemon. lime. cherry. strawberry. blackberry. blueberry watermelon. vegetables. fruits. meat. fish. pies. desserts. chocolate. cream.caramel. berries. nuts. cinnamon. burgers. burritos. pizza. tacos. ambrosia.

[ HOBBIES ] music. art. watercolors. gardening. smiting.sculpting. painting. sketching. fighting. writing. composing. cooking. sewing. training. dancing. acting.singing. karaoke.martial arts. self-defense. electronics. technology. cameras. video cameras. video games. computer. phone. movies. theater. libraries. books. magazines. cds. records.vinyls.cassettes. piano. violin. guitar. electric guitar. bass guitar. harmonica. harp. woodwinds. brass. bells. playing cards. poker chips. chess. dice. surfing. skateboarding. snowboarding. motorcycle riding. eating. climbing. running.

[ STYLE ] lingerie. armor. cape. dress. tunic. vest. shirt. boots. heels. leggings. trousers.jeans. skirt. shorts. jewelry. earrings. necklace. bracelet. ring. pendant. hat. crown. circlet. helmet. scarf. brocade. cloaks. trench coats. dusters. corsets. doublet. chest plate. gorget. bracers. suspenders. belt. sash. coat. jacket. hood. gloves. socks. masks. cowls. braces. watches. glasses. sunglasses. visor. eye contacts. makeup. greasepaint

.[ MISC ] balloons. bubbles. cityscape. light. dark. candles. war. peace. money. power. percussion. clocks. photos. mirrors. pets. diary. die-ary. fairy lights. madness. sanity. sadness. happiness. optimism. pessimism. indifference. loneliness. family. friends. assistants. co-workers. enemies. loyalty. smoking. drugs. kindness. love. hugs.

[auidobooks-blog1]

BEST AUDIO BOOKS FOR RUNNERS

Whether you’re a beginner looking to distract yourself, or an expert looking to mix things up, listening to audio books while you run can be a great addition to your routine and an excellent way to kill two birds with one stone. From thrilling crime fiction and mythical fantasy, to learning more about the real world with some fascinating non-fiction, a good audio book can motivate you to go that little bit further. Here’s our list of the best audio books for runners…

CRIME FICTION

Title: Sherlock Holmes (70 hrs and 56 mins)

Summary: For those that have never read the original stories, national treasure Stephen Fry narrates the complete Sherlock collection lasting over 70hours!

For runners: With 56 short stories and 4 novels to choose from, you can stop and start at your own pace. London runners might even spot some familiar landmarks.

Title: Sometimes I Lie (9 hrs and 28 mins)

Summary: “My name is Amber Reynolds. There are three things you should know about me. I’m in a coma. My husband doesn’t love me anymore. Sometimes I lie.”

For Runners: Unnerving, twisted and utterly compelling, you won’t be able to pause this new thriller. Perfect for the runner that just keeps pushing.

Title: Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be  (7 hrs and 4 mins)

Summary: With wry wit and hard-earned wisdom, popular online personality and founder of TheChicSite.com founder Rachel Hollis helps readers break free from the lies keeping them from the joy-filled and exuberant life they are meant to have.

For Runners: This was the most amazing motivating book ever! She is so inspirational! This is a must read! She is just so real and makes it so easy to relate to her stories!!

Title: After the Plague (13 hrs and 30 mins)

Summary: Few authors in America write with such sheer love of story, language, and imagination as T.C. Boyle, and nowhere is that passion more evident than in his inventive, wickedly funny, and widely praised short stories. In After the Plague, Boyle speaks of contemporary social issues in a range of emotional keys. The sixteen stories gathered here address everything from air rage to abortion doctors to first love and its consequences. The collection ends with the brilliant title story, a whimsical and imaginative vision of a disease-ravaged Earth. Presented with characteristic wit and intelligence, these stories will delight readers in search of the latest news of the chaotic, disturbing, and achingly beautiful world in which we live.

For runners: Who want a different story for every run.

FANTASY

Title: Fantastic Beasts (1 hr and 40 mins)

Narrated by Eddie Redmayne, this is the first audio book edition of Scamander’s textbook ever to be released. Having starred as Newt Scamander himself in the movie Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, who better to narrate this Hogwarts Library book from one of the wizarding world’s most famous Magizoologists? Dip in to discover the curious habits of magical beasts across five continents….

Alien: Out Of The Shadows (4 hrs and 31 mins)

With the new Alien film released in May, runners can immerse themselves in the fantasy world with this exclusive audio production. Set in deep space, a land of darkness and isolation where evil hibernates awaiting for suitable prey, hell takes on a new meaning. Quickly the characters discover that their only hope lies with the unlikeliest of saviors….

Ready Player One (15 hrs and 40 mins)

Narrated by actor Will Wheaton, this thrilling story is a fast-paced adventure that pits thousands of desperate members of humanity against each other in the ultimate race for the winning prize.

It’s the year 2044, and the real world has become an ugly place. We’re out of oil. We’ve wrecked the climate. Famine, poverty, and disease are widespread. Like most of humanity, Wade Watts escapes this depressing reality by spending his waking hours jacked into the OASIS, a sprawling virtual utopia where you can be anything you want to be, where you can live and play and fall in love on any of ten thousand planets. And, like most of humanity, Wade is obsessed by the ultimate lottery ticket that lies concealed within this alternate reality: OASIS founder James Halliday, who died with no heir, ha promised that control of the OASIS – and his massive fortune – will go to the person who can solve the riddles he has left scattered throughout his creation.

Title: Zombies Run (1 hr and 50 mins)

Set in the universe of the worldwide best-selling app Zombies, Run!, this is a murder mystery like no other. Why would anyone still want to kill a fellow human, even after the zombie apocalypse? And having started, how can they be stopped? The desire for vengeance, after all, is the way of all flesh.

Nothing will make you run faster than the imminent threat of Zombies.

Tite: Extracted (12 hrs and 40 mins)

A young scientist invents a time machine to fix a tragedy in his past. But his good intentions turn catastrophic when an early test reveals something unexpected: the end of the world. For runners who can achieve the extraordinary – this fantasy set in 2061 follows three ordinary humans set to change the future.  Can these three heroes, extracted from their timelines at the point of death, save the world?

NON-FICTION

Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind (15 hrs and 18 mins)

Everyone’s been talking about this Sunday Times Bestseller, so what better way to catch up than on a run? Opening up a controversial topic with spirit and thoroughness, Sapiens will challenge your preconceptions, provoke discussion and, most importantly, push you to think for yourself.

Earth is 4.5 billion years old. In just a fraction of that time, one species among countless others has conquered it. Us.

We are the most advanced and most destructive animals ever to have lived. What makes us brilliant? What makes us deadly? What makes us sapiens?

In this bold and provocative audiobook, Yuval Noah Harari explores who we are, how we got here, and where we’re going.

The Elephant in the Room (1 hr and 48 mins)

In The Elephant in the Room, Jon Ronson, the New York Times best-selling author of The Psychopath Test, Them and So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed, reunites with an old acquaintance – the influential provocateur and conspiracy talk-show host Alex Jones – to explore one of the most bizarre presidential campaigns in American history. From conspiracy theorists and fearmongers, to a chance encounter with notorious political operative Roger Stone, Ronson’s picaresque journey into Donald Trump’s world. Whimsical, hilarious and often downright terrifying, The Elephant in the Room captures a defining moment in our time as only Jon Ronson could see it.

Wild (12 hrs and 59 mins)

Experience true escapism with this heartbreaking true story of a young woman who experiences intense grief and a life undone, only to rediscover herself as she forges ahead on a seemingly impossible solo journey across the American wilderness. An unforgettable journey of self-discovery, Wild is written by international best-selling author Cheryl Strayed and is a complete and unabridged audiobook memoir with a powerful narration by talented voice-artist Laurel Lefkow. Now also a hugely successful film starring Reece Witherspoon. Audible listeners follow the. This is a story that will stay with you long after the final word.

A History of Britain in 21 Women (8 hrs and 28 mins)

Feel empowered mentally as well as physically with this thought-provoking collection on the lives of 21 women that sheds light upon a variety of social, political, religious and cultural aspects of British history.

In lively prose Woman’s Hour Jenny Murray reinvigorates the stories behind the names we all know and reveals the fascinating tales behind those less familiar. From famous queens to forgotten visionaries and from great artists to our most influential political actors, A History of Britain in 21 Women is a veritable feast of history.

Find all these titles and thousands more at audiobooks.com