#(WHO PEED IN YOUR CEREAL-

[blackreaderfics]

Tell Me How You Really Feel | Dick Grayson x Fem!Reader

↳ Pairing : Dick Grayson x Fem!Reader

↳ Rating :  T

↳ Summary : You're a new Titan and the stern and serious team leader Dick Grayson treats you like you don’t exist. Convinced that he hates you, you confront him about what his issue with you truly is.

↳ W.C : ~2.1K

↳ Tags: fluff, misunderstandings, aggressively shy boy dick, mild language, this is Titans DC!verse y'all, dickkory hasn't happened yet, there’s some mild Jason Todd x Reader in here if you squint.

Titans Tower had never been more festive. Gold foil streamers hung along the rafters, Gar’s disco lights spun across the dimly lit common room, and Jason’s playlist boomed on their surround sound speakers. Everyone had now abandoned the living room and gathered in the kitchen, party hats and all, but you lingered behind scrolling through your phone.

As much as being a Titan was hard work, they always made sure to take time to celebrate holidays and birthdays. And after officially becoming a Titan, you were thankful to have friends who actually cared about you, a team who had your back. 

You smiled at the camera roll full of pictures you had snapped with the team: one with a big bear hug from Dawn, another of you happily sandwiched in between Conner and Gar, a selfie with Jason, and one of Rachel, Kory, and you making silly faces. When you flipped to a shot of you and the man of the hour, Dick Grayson, you paused with a frown. 

Hank had ushered you and Dick together for a picture, but you knew he was just trying to get you two to get along. It was no secret that everyone could notice the weird tension the team leader had with their new recruit, but Hank was probably the only one bold enough to voice it out loud.

“How about one with birthday boy, new kid?” Hank snatched your phone from your hands and dragged Dick over by the arm. He hadn’t so much as looked your direction the whole day; in fact, it was like you didn’t even exist to him. You got used to it over time, but it was even worse when others pointed it out. 

“Get closer together,” The brawny man insisted from behind the camera but neither of you moved. Hank lowered the phone and gave you a desperately pointed look. You took a small step closer to Dick and you could feel him tense up. 

“Dick who fucking peed in your cereal today? It’s your birthday act like it.” You glanced up at the man everyone referred to as leader next to you briefly. He looked like he would rather be anywhere but next to you. 

“Smile,” Hank said, which was rather ironic since it seemed he was the only one smiling.

You felt mortified seeing the picture now juxtaposed with the scene in the kitchen in front of you. In the picture, Dick looked uncomfortable—angry even—that he had to even stand next to you let alone take a picture with you. But in the kitchen, however, he stood in front of a birthday cake ready to blow out the candles, smiling at everybody but you. 

Jason, who had come to the living room to pause his playlist, raised an eyebrow at you. “You coming for the cake or you just gonna stare into space all day?” 

You nodded, breaking yourself out of your thoughts. He gave you a weird look, begging an answer but a short “Sorry,” was all you could give him before following the teen into the kitchen. 

Kory latched onto your arm, giving it a squeeze when you joined their circle around the table. “Dick was just singing our praises, you almost missed it.”

“Yea, he was getting all sappy on us,” Gar piped up to tease. “‘Gar, you’re like a brother to me,’” he quoted dramatically before pretending to gag. 

You cracked a smile at the green-haired boy. He always knew how to make everyone laugh. When your eyes flashed over to your team leader, you saw that he was smiling too. You envied that smile that he gave so easily to others. When your eyes met briefly, he looked away almost immediately and that smile turned into something like a grimace.

You frowned and looked away too. One look at you had stolen every bit of joy away from him in that split second. More than being sad, you were embarrassed. It was like he didn’t even think you deserved to be looked at, like you didn’t deserve your place as a Titan.

Jason looked from you to Dick and scratched his head in frustrated confusion. Rachel broke the silence by clearing her throat. “Anyway, how about some cake—”

“No wait, Rach I’m really curious.” Jason finally spoke up. “He still needs to tell us what he thinks about us. All of us.”

Jason stared at the elder Wayne brother with an intensity that rivaled their previous spats. If there was one thing Jason hated, it was authority and unfairness. And to Jason, Dick’s ignoring you was an extremely biased assertion of his role as leader.

“Here we go,” Rachel said rolling her eyes. “Can’t we ever have one birthday party without arguing?”

“No actually, the kid’s right!” Hank raised his voice, gesticulating towards you as if you weren’t even in the room. “Hey, what the hell’s your problem with her?”

Dawn put her head in her hands with a groan. “I can’t believe we’re doing this right now.”

Dick’s eyes were now boring into yours, jaw set with a clench. You stared back, eyes threatening to spill tears at all the unwanted attention now turning towards you in the room. He redirected his attention back to Jason.

“If you must know, Jason. I think you’re a huge pain in the ass.” Dick smirked, bringing back some levity into the room. You could feel the tension in the room relax and everyone seemed relieved for it.

“Ok, we knew that,” Jason continued exasperatedly, “And?” He motioned for the elder to continue, nodding his head toward you rather unsubtly.

“A-And—” He faltered in his speech, flickering his gaze at you. “She’s—” He blinked in surprise when your gazes met and quickly looked down, unwilling to continue.

That was enough for you. You didn’t want to stick around anymore. Not when you could feel tears already escaping down your cheek. You tore away from the table, wiping the wetness from your face furiously. 

“Y/N!” Jason called after you only to be held back by Gar. 

You slammed the door and locked it behind you, throwing yourself on the bed. Now you knew what your team leader really thought of you, and it was absolutely nothing, nothing at all. You didn’t mean anything to him. You weren’t a friend and even much less a teammate. What was the point of being part of a team, if the team leader hated your existence? What was the point of all that training if he never even let you do anything? You were excluded from most missions and left to stay behind because it was “too dangerous”. At this point, you were about as important to him as a plastic bag.

A knock came at the door. You curled into your pillow even more. It was probably Dick being forced to apologize to you. 

He knocked again and you felt the anger in your chest rising. You suddenly had the urge to tell him off. Fuck the fact that he was technically your superior. You had so much patience due to your poor upbringing that you had let his mistreatment slide. You thought that was just how things were as part of a team and you just had to deal with it. But now that even the team was calling him out on it, you couldn’t ignore it any further. 

You opened the door to find Dick standing outside, arm still outstretched in mid-knock. He blinked back his surprise and settled back into the neutral “leader-like” expression you hated so much. 

“We need to talk. Can I come in?” He waited for you to respond. Upon seeing your angry glare, he took a short inhale. “Please Y/N.”

Your heart stuttered against your will. It had been the first time he’d addressed you by name and there was something else stirring in his eyes. His face wore a vulnerability you’d never seen on him before. You stepped aside warily, letting him in.

When the door closed behind you, you spun around wildly to face him. 

“What the fuck is your problem with me, Grayson? Why do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to you—” You hated the fact that you were tearing up again.

“I don’t hate you.” He cut in lamely. When your eyes met, he held your gaze briefly breaking to looking off to the side again. 

“See? What the fuck? You can barely even look at me. Hank had to force you to even stand next to me. How the hell am I supposed to be a part of this team if the leader can’t even pretend to like me? Just admit you can’t fucking stand me.” You continued airing your grievances out at him, growing more agitated at the man’s silence. “Fucking say something!”

“I don’t hate you,” He said again, jaw set sternly. He took a step forward, and you took a step back. “I don’t want to look at you.” Another step. Another step back.

“W-what?” Your back was at the door, and he was now standing—towering— over you.

“I don’t want to stand next to you.”

“I…don’t understand.” You furrowed your brow in confusion, searching his eyes for the meaning behind his words. His professional poise had disappeared and was replaced with something else—something darker. Nothing made sense anymore; He said he didn't want to stand next to you, but you were now practically breathing the same air. 

“And you’re right. I can’t fucking stand you.”

You flinched at his words. Admittedly, you had been cursing at him the whole time since he’d entered your room, but he rarely cursed, and hearing him repeat your words back at you gave you pause. 

You tried to move but he kept you caged in on either side of his arms. You had enough; you heard enough, and now you just wanted him gone. Once he was out of your room, you could resign yourself to ignoring each other for the rest of your time on the team. Fuck him.

“Thanks. I got it the first time so just let me go.” You were hurt, and whenever you tried to mask your feelings, sarcasm came out as a defense mechanism. When he didn’t budge to let you move, you pushed against his chest. “Let me go, Grayson,” you applied more pressure to his chest as a warning. You wouldn’t hesitate to use your powers to make him move.

Dick leaned back, allowing for more space between you. You caught your breath, relishing the newfound breathing space. Instead of letting you go fully, he circled your right wrist keeping it at his chest. You felt his heartbeat erratically pulsing under your palm. 

“I can’t be near you. I…I can’t even hear myself think.” He spoke a little quieter now,  splaying his fingers flat against your hand deepening the pressure on his chest. His heart was beating faster now. “That’s all I can fucking hear.” Seeing that you got the point he was referring to his heartbeat, he released your hand. You watched his throat bob as he swallowed thickly. His face looked flushed.  

 “I can barely look at you because then…you’d probably notice.” He mumbled the last part but you heard him quite clearly. He looked more boyish than ever as he stood before you.

“I’d probably notice…?” You trailed off, hoping he would continue. You were curious mostly not as to what he would say, but how he would say it.

“Don’t make me say it, Y/N” Dick grimaced again. You had come to know this look as disdain, but with the man’s revelation, you were beginning to see that expression in a new light. He looked more embarrassed than anything, and now the tips of his ears began to burn a bright red. Holy Shit. This is what Dick Grayson was like when he had a crush. 

“I can’t pretend to like you because…I already like you. Like a lot. I can’t stop thinking about you-mmph“

You pulled him down by the collar and into a kiss. His initial surprise from your sudden interruption melted into passion as he deepened it, hungrily grasping at your waist to pull you closer to him.

You stopped kissing him for a moment to stare seriously up at him. “What about for missions? You never let me come.” You were beginning to put 2 and 2 together for all the other stuff like the times he would make that weird face at you, or avoid you completely. But you still couldn’t see why, as an active member he wouldn’t let you participate in missions.

“You,” He said simply. He was looking at you fondly now, eyelids languid and lazy as his thumbs rubbed circles into your waist. 

“What about me?” 

“You’re distracting.” His gaze flitted to your lips, “To me specifically.” He added, looking at you with such an innocent honesty that you could only partly contain your laugh.

“You’re such a fucking idiot,” You groaned feigning annoyance. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” 

“Tell me how you really feel.” He grinned dumbly into your lips as you pulled him down into another kiss. 

©️ blackreaderfics // credit to cafekitsune for the dividers

[ladyshinga]

I love the phrase "who pissed in your cheerios this morning" that you say to some one who's in a bad mood because buddy I PROMISE you if some one had peed in my breakfast cereal it would have been the first thing I told you

[changingplumbob]

Kerry: What would I want your food for

Rohan: Because you’re always hungry

Kerry: Shut up Rohan

Byron: Look, I don’t know what kind of power you think you have but you’re going to leave me and Will alone

Will: Yep. Love being alone

Byron: So you can either be nice to us, or keep your queries and opinions to yourself

Kerry: Who peed in your cereal?

Byron: Leave us alone, got it

[selfshipgushing]

Why would you allow people to submit asks gushing about their f/o if you’re just going to be like lol idk who that is or say something completely irrelevant. Can you at least pretend to care

someone peed in your cereal this morning! you know, I have run this blog for three and a half, almost four months, and you are the only person who has ever whined that I didn't give a creative enough response to their asks/say something unrelated. however, I have had many people praise the fact that I respond to asks, unrelated or not.

why are you complaining to a positivity account? go make your own gush box, since you're so inclined! I've made almost 2,000 posts already and no one has ever bitched about this. perhaps you're just being dramatic? this is such a childish thing to complain about LMAOOO

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Once again cannot choose between angel Neil and mer au so dealers choice :)

WIP Wednesday (5/29) | Guardian Angel Neil AU (Part 193)

What if he imagined it all? 

Andrew swallows hard and shakes his head. No, no, no. Not again. He will not talk himself out of believing in Neil just because of some stupid fucking candy. He grabs the Skittles and slips them into his own pocket, then goes back inside and shoves the bucket into Nicky’s arms.

“Jeezus, who peed in your cereal?” Nicky asks, but Andrew pays him no mind as he heads back up to his bedroom. He has no idea what to think now. He knows Neil exists. Deep down, he knows it. But… Last night was the first time Neil’s ever come here. 

What does that mean? Does it mean anything? Andrew drops onto the edge of his bed and he can practically feel it when his thoughts turn into a spiral. Everything in his head starts moving too fast and he can't keep up.

Neil's never come here before. But that doesn't mean he's not real. Maybe he just didn't want the candy and left it behind. Yeah, yeah. Neil's said before he doesn't know if he can eat... But-

What Andrew imagined dropping the candy into Neil’s hand, only for it to fall into an empty chair? Andrew pulls out the Skittles and looks at them. There’s no indication they were ever touched by an angel. Not that Andrew would expect Neil to leave some sort of sparkly residue on things or something. He just needs something—

He considers calling Neil’s name now, beckoning him to appear. But he’s not entirely sure he can act normal right now. And Neil said he'd leave if Andrew-

Andrew glares at the candy in his hand. Who’d have thought something so small could freak him out so much?

It’s not the first time though. Andrew flicks his gaze to the orange bottle on his nightstand and swipes a hand through his messy hair. He wishes he could flush that poison down the toilet. But he knows if he tried it, he’d be clawing his own skin off in a couple hours.

“Neil is real. You know that he’s real.” Andrew whispers. He repeats it a couple times, then lets out a breath and tears open the Skittles, pouring them all into his mouth and chewing up the only evidence he’s got against his angel.

[kyukicho]

@whorunthewcrld replied: emma vc: "were you ever?"

"Who peed in your cereal this morning?"

[goaliegossip]

Also apparently she peed in the Stanley Cup. 🤢//

Anyone who watches hockey for more than 5 minutes has seen cute pics of babies in the Stanley Cup, kids eating cereal out of the Stanley Cup, guys eating spaghetti/poutine out of it, people drinking champagne out of it etc.

You know all that and the first place your brain goes to is 'Imma pee in that legendary trophy'. Like she's actually disgusting. Sick in the head even. I bet she walks on the logo in the dressing room every time just to show how 'edgy' she is.

Not even to mention how disrespectful it is to the poor keeper of the cup who has to clean her disgusting pee out of it before it goes to the next person.

^^

[mjonthetrack]

client

Chapter 89: Y’all Must’ve Lost Y’all Fucking Minds

Charaé blinked once. Then again.

No, no—this was real. Her head was pounding like a drumline at an HBCU halftime show, and her stomach was still trying to stage a mutiny after the Don Julio massacre of the previous night. But this? A living room full of people like she was Snow White and they were the seven black-ass dwarves of unsolicited intervention?

“Who the fuck let all of you in my house?!”

Her voice cracked as she staggered into the room, water bottle sweating in one hand and her satin bonnet hanging by a thread. She wasn’t even dressed for company—oversized tee barely covering her thighs, socks mismatched, lashes gone, attitude fully loaded.

Everyone in the room blinked like they’d just realized the dragon had woken up.

Messiah calmly crossed his legs. “The door was unlocked.”

She glared at him. “No, it wasn’t.”

Sefa, cool as a cucumber and way too comfortable on her barstool munching on dry cereal, shrugged. “Zilla had a key.”

Charaé swung her head toward the kitchen and locked eyes with the problem: Isayah Fatu. The man had her air fryer running, bacon crackling on the stove, like he wasn’t the root cause of every single violation currently unfolding.

She put her water down like she was preparing to throw hands. “What the hell is he doing in my kitchen?!”

Zilla looked up, towel over his shoulder, no shame in sight. “Feeding the mother of my child. You ain’t ate since Pat’s.”

She blinked at him like he said he’d bought her a yacht. “I’m what now?”

“The test was positive,” Messiah muttered, sipping Starbucks like this was a telenovela rerun.

“What test?!” Charaé damn near screamed, eyes wild now.

Zilla didn’t even flinch. “The one I made you take while you were blackout drunk and talkin’ to Fantasia.”

Celia, sitting cross-legged next to Jey, nodded sagely. “You sang When I See U three times, boo. That’s Black woman for ‘I’m emotionally unwell and hormonally compromised.’ We took action.”

She turned in a full circle, eyes darting around like her home had been violated by an army of uninvited guests who brought casseroles made of delusion. Serenity was in her hallway doorway eating fruit, Jimmy was pouring orange juice like he lived there, and Jacob was damn near reclining on her ottoman.

Her fucking ottoman.

“I was drunk,” she gritted. “And y’all in here talkin’ about ‘the test was positive’ like I took my SATs again. Where the hell did you even get a pregnancy test?!”

Zilla: “CVS.”

Charaé: “WITH WHOSE MONEY?!”

Jacob raised a finger. “Technically, yours.”

“Oh I’m burning this bitch DOWN.”

The room went quiet. Then Messiah stood slowly.

“Charaé… you got Don Julio, two blunts, and three emotions spiraling through you right now. But just so you’re aware… that little plus sign on the test you took? That wasn’t a group hallucination.”

She blinked, fast.

Zilla stepped forward now, voice even. “You didn’t know. I get that. But we know. And because of that bump?” He nodded toward her belly, “you’re under protection now.”

“Excuse me?!” She squawked.

Jey finally spoke. “Yeah, uh… considering who the father might be, this ain’t just a baby. That’s potentially the heir to a cartel seat. We not takin’ no chances.”

Charaé’s jaw dropped. “So what, y’all just decided to form a military-grade babysitting unit in my house without asking me?!”

Celia nodded solemnly. “Exactly.”

She looked at them all like they were out of their damn minds. “I don’t even know if I’m pregnant—”

“You peed on the stick yourself.” Zilla cut in, unapologetic. “While I held you upright.”

“I WAS BLACKOUT DRUNK, ZILLA!”

“Still aimed like a champ,” Jimmy said with admiration.

She grabbed her temple like she was going to physically pull the headache out of her skull.

“Y’all all lost your fucking minds,” she muttered, storming toward the kitchen only to catch sight of Sefa calmly refilling her Brita filter like it was his house.

“You know what? All y’all, OUT!” she snapped. “You, you, and especially you—” she pointed at Zilla, “—with your cartel ass bacon like this is normal?!”

Zilla didn’t move.

“Rae,” he said, his voice calm but lined with steel, “you may not want me here. But you got my blood in you now. You can cuss me out, kick me in the shin, scream from the rooftop—but you not going through this alone.”

Charaé looked at him like she wanted to slap that spatula out of his hand and then throw it at Sefa.

“You gon’ start protecting me now, Zilla? When it’s convenient? When I’m carrying something you might have planted?! You was nowhere to be found when I needed support. Now you wanna play baby daddy of the year?!”

Zilla stepped from the kitchen, slow and controlled. “You done?”

Charaé’s chest was heaving, but she didn’t answer.

“You done acting like none of this means shit?” His eyes locked with hers. “’Cause I promise you Rae Langford—this ain’t just yours anymore. You ain’t the only one who got skin in this game now.”

There was silence.

And in that silence, Charaé’s face crumpled just a little—barely noticeable. But Messiah caught it. Celia saw it too. That wobble in her bottom lip. The way she clutched the water bottle like it was a life vest.

Zilla saw it.

But she didn’t say a word. Just turned on her heel and disappeared down the hall.

And still?

He didn’t leave.

Chapter 90: The Shit Hits the Fan (and the Walls, and the Ceiling)

Steam rolled from beneath the bathroom door as Charaé re-entered the chaos zone of her own damn living room. Hair still damp, hoodie half-zipped over a tank, and matching grey lounge shorts that screamed “leave me the fuck alone,” she stopped dead in her tracks.

They were still there.

All of them.

Jimmy and Jey—seated like they paid rent. Celia now at her dining table sipping ginger tea like this was brunch. Messiah flipping through one of her law books—her annotated law books. Sefa on her barstool for the fourth time that day. Jacob on her couch again like it was a damn group therapy session. Serenity had the nerve to be doing her nails on the far end of the sectional.

And Zilla. Leaned against her kitchen counter with arms folded, watching her like he knew what was coming.

Charaé blinked once. Slowly. Her voice, when it came, was terrifyingly soft.

“…you all never got rid of the rats.”

Everyone froze.

Jey sat up. “What?”

Her eyes didn’t move. Didn’t blink. Didn’t twitch.

“You never got rid of the fucking rats,” she repeated, voice louder, mouth dry, her own words spinning into clarity.

Jacob’s brows furrowed. “You mean—”

“They never cleaned house,” Charaé said bitterly, staring straight at the cartel-backed twins. “You took down some low-level hitters. You got Zilla’s case handled. But you never traced the source.”

A sudden stillness hung in the air. You could feel the shift in her logic clicking like tumblers in a safe.

“And now,” she muttered, eyes locked on the floor like it betrayed her, “now I’m a target.”

She looked up slowly, jaw clenched. “This maybe-baby? This hypothetical Fatu child?” She jerked her thumb behind her at Zilla. “It makes me leverage.”

Celia’s face dropped.

Charaé hissed through her teeth, pacing now, rage coming like a second skin. “I have a fucking target on my back from god knows who—someone in y’all network, some rogue player, some snake—and you knew.”

“We didn’t know—” Jey tried.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, JEY.”

He froze. Everyone did.

Charaé’s hands trembled slightly as she shoved them into her hoodie pockets, then immediately took them back out. Her movements were erratic now, like she couldn’t contain the boiling beneath her skin.

“I should’ve told you no when you came to me with that damn ask to represent him,” she growled, pointing at Zilla like she could erase him with her finger.

Zilla stepped forward slightly, his mouth opening.

“Don’t you DARE speak,” she snapped, and the venom in her voice had even Sefa sitting up straight now.

She was full pacing now, muttering to herself.

“I mean, what kind of stupid bitch gets pulled into cartel drama on a pro bono felony case? Who the fuck does that?! I knew the stakes, I knew the signs, and I still—FUCK!” She kicked the leg of her coffee table. It groaned loudly, but it wasn’t the only thing breaking under pressure.

Then she turned her wrath to the professionals in the room.

“And you two—” she pointed violently at Celia and Messiah, who straightened like students in a pop quiz.

“My assistant and my paralegal?! Really?! You had them sitting in on this life-threatening cartel family fuck-a-thon intervention like it was a Monday morning staff meeting?!”

Messiah opened his mouth and wisely closed it.

“You brought my EMPLOYEES into this—exposing them to shit they don’t even know they’re involved in?! Do y’all realize what kind of ethical violations I’m looking at?! Do you understand what kind of LIABILITY—fuck, FUCK!”

She spun, clenching her fists, breathing hard, her face flushed with anger and the afterburn of tequila regret.

“This is great,” she muttered darkly. “Just fucking great.”

She turned a full circle again, eyes wild and blazing as they landed back on Zilla.

“Now I have a migraine, a possible Samoan mini-you cooking in my uterus, and a goddamn target on my back so big I might as well wear a fucking neon sign!”

No one spoke.

Not even Serenity, who blinked, genuinely stunned silent for the first time in weeks.

Zilla took a careful step forward. “Rae…”

“I said DON’T.” Her voice cracked this time.

There was a silence that could choke a room.

Charaé folded her arms tightly, tears welling up now from pure overstimulation, pain, and exhaustion. “You brought your world to my door. All of you. And now I can’t shut it.”

Zilla looked like he’d swallowed something sharp.

Celia whispered, “Rae, we’re gonna handle this—”

“You better,” she snapped. “Because if something happens to me? Y’all can bet your cartel asses I’ll come back and haunt each and every one of you like a Southern Baptist poltergeist with a vengeance.”

No one laughed.

Not this time.

She stormed back to her room, door slamming behind her.

And in the deafening quiet that followed, Jey let out a soft exhale.

“…so we should probably kill whoever set her off, right?”

Zilla didn’t answer.

But the look in his eyes?

Said the purge had already begun.

Chapter 91: The Threat Heard Round the Cartel

The door to Charaé’s bedroom slammed back open like it owed her money.

Everyone in the room flinched, even Jimmy, who’d just taken a sip of water and almost choked on air. Zilla straightened up fast, arms unfolding instinctively like he was ready for a shoe—or a lawsuit—to be hurled at his forehead.

Charaé stood in the doorway with fire in her eyes and fury dripping from every syllable of her next declaration.

“And another thing!”

Messiah whispered, “Oh, Lord…”

She pointed to everyone like she was laying out targets for a SEAL team op.

“If I—me, Charaé fucking Langford—end up in an orange jumpsuit next to your baby mama Serenity…” she threw a scathing look to Jimmy, who held up both palms like “I didn’t even say nothing!”

“...and you—” she jabbed at Jimmy again, “who already has the heir of your fucked-up family tree, which—newsflash—is your burden to pass on, not mine…”

Then her gaze landed on Celia, who looked like she wanted to melt into the couch. “And Celia, I love you, but if we in that bitch together I will not be braiding hair or singing in no goddamn prison choir. I’ll be plotting.”

She stepped further into the room, each step like the tick of a time bomb.

“I will spend every hour on the yard getting impossibly swole—on black ops training level. I’ll be in there building muscle and resentment. Running laps while reciting case law like a war cry.”

“Shiiiiiit,” Sefa muttered under his breath.

“I’ll be behind those bars every damn day, plotting my way out like a pissed-off Angela Davis with a grudge. And when I do get out?”

She paused for effect.

“I will crawl—crawl, motherfuckers—to Pelican fucking Bay, where the rest of y’all felony-having, RICO-avoiding, bullet-dodging asses will be in general pop trying not to drop the soap.”

She stepped in Zilla’s direction now, slow and deliberate, and everyone was sitting very, very still.

“And I—Charaé Langford, JD, bar-certified in two states and built like vengeance in Fenty loungewear—will shank you myself.”

Zilla blinked.

Jimmy blinked.

Messiah dropped his phone.

Sefa covered his mouth, whispering, “Yo. I’m scared and aroused.”

Serenity gave a loud, “Mmm-HMM!” like she’d just heard scripture.

Jacob stood slowly like it might be safer to leave now.

Celia visibly crossed herself.

And Zilla?

Zilla looked… proud. Like watching her go full war goddess turned something primal in his blood, but also terrified���because he knew she meant every goddamn word.

Charaé glared at the stunned cartel-and-company congregation for three more seconds, then turned on her heel and disappeared into her room again, slamming the door so hard the windows trembled.

Silence.

Then:

“She definitely pregnant,” Sefa whispered. “She giving apocalyptic threats and everything.”

Jimmy rubbed his face, muttering, “I ain’t even say nothing.”

Messiah looked at Zilla and deadpanned, “Congratulations, Pops. Your baby mama just declared war.”

Zilla didn’t blink.

He just exhaled hard through his nose, staring at that closed door like it was the gate to Valhalla and he was too scared—or too stupid—to knock again.

Chapter 92: The Bacon, The Blunt, and the Breakdown

The house had just barely settled again.

Just enough time passed for Messiah to whisper to Serenity, “She good now?”—only for a blood-curdling scream to rattle the walls like she was fighting a demon in her closet.

Everyone flinched so hard Celia dropped her lemon water.

Then came the rapid stomp stomp stomp down the hallway like the spirit of every Black auntie denied peace and hot grease was possessing Charaé’s body.

The door flew open again. BOOM!

“And one—LAST THING!”

Zilla didn’t even get a chance to blink.

She stomped over to the kitchen like she was on parole and snatched the plate of bacon Zilla had lovingly crisped.

“You trifling bastard,” she growled through gritted teeth, yanking the plate so hard a piece went flying. “You don’t deserve greasy pork!”

Zilla opened his mouth—only to wince when she pointed the fork like a loaded weapon.

She spun next, eyes locking onto Sefa.

Sefa straightened on the barstool, “What I do?”

SWIPE! She snatched the perfectly rolled pre-roll from behind his ear.

“GIMME THAT, YOU BIG MOTHERFUCKER!”

Sefa held his hands up like she had a bomb strapped to her.

“Ma’am, please—”

She turned again, whipped Jacob’s lighter out of his hoodie pocket like a trained pickpocket, and lit that bitch mid-stridelike she’d done it all her life. Took a deep inhale, held it with the finesse of Bob Marley’s ghost, and exhaled like peace was optional and vengeance was a requirement.

Jey, trying to be reasonable, cleared his throat and gently spoke up, “Uh… Rae. I’m not tryna preach but… maybe not smoke if you’re…”

She turned. Slowly.

Like a horror movie reveal.

The smoke still trailed from her nostrils as her eyes locked on him like she’d just been possessed by every ancestor who ever held a grudge.

“I know the fucking cartel KINGPIN twin,” she spat, voice deadly calm, “ain’t giving me a damn ethics report.”

Everyone froze.

The lighter was still flickering in her hand.

“I swear to Tupac, to Biggie, and every dead rapper who spit bars over poverty—I will air this bitch out like 9/11 meets Hurricane Katrina!”

Silence.

You could’ve heard a mosquito sneeze.

Zilla didn’t breathe.

Sefa closed his legs like she was gonna take his weed and his masculinity.

Jacob quietly slid behind the ottoman.

Messiah whispered, “Ain’t nobody ever smoked a blunt and threatened a national disaster before…”

Jimmy blinked, “We in the Book of Revelations now. This it.”

And Zilla?

Zilla was just standing there with a single thought pounding in his chest:

That’s the mother of my child.

Charaé took one more drag, locked eyes with every single person in the room, and then slowly—deliberately—turned on her heel.

“Now play my shit,” she growled, and Destiny's Child “Survivor” came on like the house itself feared her wrath.

She stormed back to her room, hips switching like war drums and grease-dripping bacon in her other hand like a war trophy.

Celia whispered to Serenity, “This the most chaotic prenatal care I’ve ever seen.”

Serenity nodded, “And I’m kind of impressed.”

Zilla didn’t speak.

Didn’t move.

He just looked down at the spot she vanished into… and knew.

The war was just getting started.

[theboysfromaustin]

I wrote something exceedingly stupid.

----

January 1, 2012

Kazuo groaned, flopping onto the toilet, hungover from the night's festivities of booze and greasy food. He leaned forward, head resting on his knee, groping for the toilet paper. He managed to knock it off the holder, sending it across the room.

Another groan.

His gut seized, trapping him. Grumbling, he detached his leg, flailing ineffectively, “C'monnnn….” Martha, who had been laying in the wet tub like a beached seal, hoisted herself out, shaking herself off, spattering everything with cold droplets.

“Hey!” Kazuo flinched, then perked up, “Martha. Paper!” She cocked her head, tail wagging, then flattened herself into a play bow. “Gimme the TP!” She grabbed it, legs stiff, tail still wagging. “Bring it over!”

Martha bolted, the roll still in her mouth.

“MARTHA!” Kazuo leaned forward, the room spinning, still feeling the wrath of last night's booze and grease, “Ian! Gav!” Martha reappeared a minute or so later….minus the toilet paper. “YOU,” he pointed his leg at her. The dog reared back before clamping down on it and yanking, nearly pulling Kazuo off the toilet. “BAD DOG!” He yelped, trying to right himself as Martha took off with his leg, crashing into the hallway and down the stairs.

Seething, Kazuo turned his attention to the cabinet next to him, throwing it open, groping around the inside, knocking over bottles.

No paper.

His eye rolled back so far he swore he could see spine. He could also see, very clearly, the package of Costco toilet paper he'd been asked to bring upstairs, but had instead left crammed into the downstairs bathroom cabinet.

Hoist by his own petard.

He leaned back, gut destroying itself, brain working overtime. Martha returned, wiggling back and forth with glee, a bone in her mouth, and crawled back into the tub with a thunk, tail slapping against the porcelain. “Are you proud of yourself?” She woofed at him, settling in to chew. “Oh my god. Where are Ian and Gav?!”

Ian was on the front porch with a cup of coffee, nursing a hangover. Gav had walked down to Fresh Plus to get milk and cereal and had taken a shower, which was why the tub was wet. So inside, it was just Kazuo, Martha, and the fish. The fish were certainly no help, and Martha was being a hindrance. The pit bull rolled on her back, tail still whapping the sides of the tub.

“I get why people think pit bulls are evil.”

She snorted, writhing, he groaned, clenching his gut. Kazuo considered getting up, but thought better of it - he wasn't going to get far crawling or hopping and trying to not make a mess. He eyed the towels, then shook his head.

Ian got annoyed when he peed in the sink, if he wiped with those towels, they'd never find his body. He leaned back, knowing this was now a waiting game. Martha gnawed on her bone, pleased with herself.

The front door opened, and Kazuo heard a slew of what he assumed were Welsh obscenities and a loud thump, followed by a cup breaking. “Kazuo, what the hell?! Why is your leg in front of the door?!” “Martha stole it! And the toilet paper!” There was a pause.

“What?!”

“Our evil dog stole the TP and my leg! I'm trapped on the goddamn toilet!”

Hysterical laughter.

“Iannnnnn!” Kazuo groaned, “Please help me.” Ian thumped his way up the stairs, phone in hand. “Nooooo.” “Smile, gorgeous,” Ian took a photo as Kazuo flipped him off, “Here. Where's the paper I told you to put up here?” “It's…I don't want to talk about it…” “Is it downstairs?” “I plead the fifth.” “Hmmm, yes. Not gonna work on me.” “Can I please have toilet paper?”

“You'll listen next time, won't you?” “Yessss,” Kazuo drew the word out in a huffy breath. Ian just laughed, heading for the hall bathroom, “There's no paper in here, either!” “Yeah….” Ian shook his head, going downstairs. Kazuo reattached his leg. “Heads up!”

He flinched as a roll of paper hit him in the face, “Oh, very mature.” “Clean yourself up. We're going for breakfast.” “Where's Gav?” “Went to the store. But I want Waffle House.” “Trashy.” “Hurry up.”

Kazuo shook his head, “You are a snot.” Ian perked up, hearing Gav enter. “Why is there a broken cup on the floor?” “Kazuo's fault!” “Martha's fault more!” Ian left to go clean it up, Gav putting milk in the fridge, “Sorry, crisis.” “What happened?” “Kazuo faced the consequences of his own actions.” “Not again!”

Kazuo clung to the paper, watching Martha roll around in the tub, “You'll get yours.” She snorted, chomping her bone. “Kaz!” “Hang on!” He finished, heading downstairs. “Did you remember to wipe?” Gav threw him his coat. “Very funny. That dog is a menace.” “She likes you,” Ian grabbed the keys, “And it also means you'll listen to me next time.” “Unlikely. S'go.”

Upstairs, Martha chambered out of the tub and grabbed the toilet paper off the hook, tail wagging. She went and hid it under Anders’ old bed before returning to her bone.

She liked this new game.

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

My new neighbor is a pregnant omega

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/gwEGV8z by Ducissa_Clarie "He was over there watering the flowers and suddenly his pants got wet." Sam finishes eating his cereal. "Does he have a pee penance?" "A pee penance?" Dean frowns. "What the hell is that, Sam?" "You know, when you can't hold your pee." "Oh, urinary incontinence, is that what you mean?" "Yeah!" He stands up and puts his bowl in the dishwasher, "Or is it the baby that peed?" "What baby, Sam?" "The baby in the neighbor's belly across the street." Sam intertwines his fingers and puts his hands in front of him, "He's about this big." Or Where Dean falls in love with his new neighbor, who is pregnant with twins. Words: 1666, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 9 of Small scenes - OneShot Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural) Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Mpreg | Male Pregnancy, Alpha/Omega, Omega Verse, Omega Castiel/Alpha Dean Winchester, Child Sam Winchester, Mating Marks, temporary mating marks, Pregnant Castiel (Supernatural), Good Parent Dean Winchester, Fireman Dean Winchester, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Blowjobs, Fluff and Smut, Twins, From Neighbors To Lovers, burns fast, Soft Castiel/Dean Winchester, Invented Surname, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Not Canon Compliant, Love at First Sight, english is not my first language, One Shot, Family Fluff, Sam is a gossipy kid read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/gwEGV8z

[ao3feeddestiel]

My new neighbor is a pregnant omega

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/WGvl9Az by Ducissa_Clarie "He was over there watering the flowers and suddenly his pants got wet." Sam finishes eating his cereal. "Does he have a pee penance?" "A pee penance?" Dean frowns. "What the hell is that, Sam?" "You know, when you can't hold your pee." "Oh, urinary incontinence, is that what you mean?" "Yeah!" He stands up and puts his bowl in the dishwasher, "Or is it the baby that peed?" "What baby, Sam?" "The baby in the neighbor's belly across the street." Sam intertwines his fingers and puts his hands in front of him, "He's about this big." Or Where Dean falls in love with his new neighbor, who is pregnant with twins. Words: 1666, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 9 of Small scenes - OneShot Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural) Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Mpreg | Male Pregnancy, Alpha/Omega, Omega Verse, Omega Castiel/Alpha Dean Winchester, Child Sam Winchester, Mating Marks, temporary mating marks, Pregnant Castiel (Supernatural), Good Parent Dean Winchester, Fireman Dean Winchester, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Blowjobs, Fluff and Smut, Twins, From Neighbors To Lovers, burns fast, Soft Castiel/Dean Winchester, Invented Surname, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Not Canon Compliant, Love at First Sight, english is not my first language, One Shot, Family Fluff, Sam is a gossipy kid read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/WGvl9Az

[ringing-ringle]

I like the expression "who peed in your cereal" because it implies cereal and pee

[momodoesposts]

shark week, a hendery fanfic

Hendery x reader

Afab reader

Word count: 1,620

Tw: period cramps, mention of pain,curse words, hendery is a jack ass, sexual jokes, mention of oral (nothing happens), ten is a cockblock, kun is embarrassed

You groan in pain at what feels like a knife twisting in your stomach. Every month you underestimate how badly cramps hurt and regret not going to the doctor's office for prescribed medicine because you're curled up on the bed, groaning and shivering in agony. You grip the plushie that your boyfriend got you, cursing yourself for letting the pain get to you.

Suddenly the door bursts open, an excitable Hendery bursting in. You squint at him, confused at the sudden intrusion. 

As soon as he catches your eyes, he jumps on the bed and wraps his arms around you, tickling your sides. "Pookie! I missed you-!" there he goes again, using that god-awful nickname again.

You push your boyfriend off of you, glaring daggers at him. Hendery holds his hands up defensively. "Woah, who peed in your cereal?" he teases, poking at your sides again. 

"Babe, I'm just in a lot of pain, okay? So, please, for the love of god, stop-!" you shove his hands off you, resulting in him pouting at you.

"Just take an Advil or something? I want to put plastic wrap in front of Xiaojun's door; come on!" he grabs your hand and pulls you towards him, and you smack his hands.

"Leave me alone, please!" you retreat under the blankets, groaning in pain. 

He quirks an eyebrow, leaning over you and hovering his face a few inches from yours with wide eyes. "Babbyyy, what's wrong? Just tell meee."

You sigh, turning away from him. "I'm on my period."

His mouth forms an 'o' shape as he drapes his arm over your body and lays behind you, effectively spooning you. "I see…" he mumbles. "So… you're in pain."

"No shit dumbass."

He sighs. "When did you get it?"

"Today, the first day is always the worst."

"Ah, when did you get it for the first time?"

"I was eleven or twelve, why?" you question.

"Just wondering."

So you stayed there with your boyfriend's arms wrapped around you, his presence helping you cope. You were drifting off when he suddenly gasped.

"Y/N…." he whispered, turning you around to face him. He held your shoulders and stared at you with wide eyes.

"Baby? What's wrong?" you felt worried seeing his face like this.

He took a few deep breaths. 

"I-I'm 23…" he whispered.

“Yeah..?" you countered, even more, confused now.

"Babe. I'm late."

"…for what?"

"I'm twelve years late! I was supposed to get my period twelve years ago! Do you know what this means?!"

You opened your mouth to scold him, but he clasped his hand over your mouth.

“Babe, we're pregnant!" he said, eyes sparkling. "I can't wait for us to raise our first child," he pretends to wipe a tear from his eye as he puts your hand on his stomach.

"Do you feel it kicking?"

You shoved his hand off of your mouth. "You dumb ass!" you throw the plushie at him, pulling him off the bed while he yelps.

"Babe- wait-I'm sorry it was a joke-!"

You slam the door on him, locking it behind his figure. Then, with a deep sigh, you return to your bed, curling up in a ball. You lay your head down to close your eyes and go to sleep when you hear your phone buzz. 

dumbass <3

-Babbyyyyy immm sorrrryyy let me innnn

-I miss u

-pls

-I was just so excited abt our baby

- TT

You scoff at his messages and watch as more come flooding in.

dumbass <3

-u r making me sad

-come on pookie

-don't make daddy angy

-grrrr

"WONG KUN-HANG, DO NOT MAKE ME BLOCK YOUR NUMBER!" you scream at him through the door, sighing.

You lay on your back and stare at the ceiling. He could be such a pain, but you loved him. Even though he was such a stupid, stupid guy who took every opportunity to get on your nerves.

You hear a scraping at the door and over as a note slides through the bottom. In scribbled handwriting, it says, "I am sorry, really. Please let me in.", complete with an awful drawing of what you can only assume is him crying.

With a groan, you get up and open the door, staring at your boyfriend with a blank face. 

He smiles wide and barges in, arms full of what he will refer to as "supplies."

"Okay baby, just lay down and nurse Hendery will take care of you!"

"You could have been a doctor, and yet you chose to be a nurse," you question, returning to bed and staring at him.

He presses a heating pack to your belly, making sure to be gentle with you. 

"Don't underestimate the nurses of this world, Y/N, they're angels on earth and here you are disrespecting them." he wiped a piece of hair out of your face.

"Listen, listen, my sisters taught me how to care for a girl when she's enduring shark week. So I'm basically an expert." he uses his fingers to gently turn your chin to face him as he sits in bed next to you.

"You do realize I kicked you out just a few minutes ago, right?"

"Shhh," he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours, but before you could reciprocate, he pressed a piece of chocolate against your lips, making you furrow your brows before biting.

"Good girl!" he teased, snuggling into your side, taking the remote, and turning on your favorite movie. 

You didn't mind this; you were feeling better thanks to the heating pad and his snuggles. Not that you would admit it. 

"I heard that getting head relieves period cramps," he suddenly said, chin high in the air as though he was proud to know this fact.

You just stared ahead in shock, not at all expecting that.

"Come on baby, let's try it!" he began quickly kissing your jawline, trailing up and nibbling at your ear. 

You shuddered in response, a soft gasp leaving your lips as he trailed kisses down your neck, gently moving the blanket off your legs.

"Hendery, stop… the others are home, don't…." you whisper.

"What was that baby? Are you afraid I'll make you feel too good?" he said, smirking as he lowered his head between your legs, pulling at the hem of your shorts.

Though your body said yes, your mind knew the other members were home. Yet, there he was, smiling up at you.

The door creaking open made you both turn your heads toward the sound. There stood Ten, holding Louis. You can vaguely see what looks like a mortified Kun behind him, but he quickly retreats after seeing the two of you in such a lewd position.

"Oh, am I interrupting something?" he asked calmly, looking between you two.

"Ye-"

"No, not at all." you gently push Hendery's head away with your knee.

"What's up?", you asked.

Ten walks in and sits down next to you, showing off the cat he is so proud of. "Look, I got him a hat!" he says, grinning as he cuddles into your side, Louis retreating into your lap. 

"Ooh, we're watching a movie?" Ten asks, somehow making himself even more comfortable.

"No, my girlfriend and I are watching a movie."

Ten stares at the TV, "Right, and now your girlfriend, you and I are watching a movie.", he restates with a cheeky grin.

Hendery takes up his spot on your other side, petting Louis with a permanent frown. You should be leaning on him, not Ten; he's your boyfriend, him, Hendery! 

You hear another meow and see Leon opening the door, jumping up and curling up in your frustrated boyfriend's lap as Ten coos at sight. 

"This is not the kind of pussy I wanted.", Hendery groans, leaning his head back.

You and Ten shares a look before laughing at his frustration. You kiss his cheek, which he quickly redirects to his lips. The two of you spend a moment with your mouths moving against each other before Ten tells you two to get a room.

"We tried to!", Hendery says, swatting at the older boy.

BONUS

After a few hours, the two boys had fallen asleep, and you left the room to get a glass of water. You see the other members on the couch, playing a console game you didn't care to check on. As you remove the cup from the cabinet, you hear someone clear their throat behind you. 

You turn to see Kun, whose ears have turned bright red. 

"Hey!" you greet him.

He shifts awkwardly. "Listen, um, I saw you and Hendery earlier and… I just want to like make sure you know that you guys are staying safe and using protection."

You turn bright red and are rendered speechless.

"Especially if Ten is going to be joining you—"

You hear a gasp and watch Yangyang enter your room, finding the two sleeping boys. 

Next thing you know, Hendery runs into the kitchen, half asleep but ready to fight, as he holds his fists up to Kun. 

"Are you after my girl, Qian, huh?! Are you?!" he says, circling him and jumping around like a madman. "You pervert! Talking to my girlfriend about sex!"

Kun holds his hands up, looking at you for help. Meanwhile, Xiaojun and Winwin stare at the scene in shock as Ten takes a video of the scene in front of him, and Yangyang cackles.

You pull your boyfriend away, smacking him gently. 

That video would end up in the hands of Johnny, who would send it to Mark, and the next thing you knew, Sungchan was texting you asking why Hendery was so mad.

God, those boys were nosy gossips.

[darcyxanthonyx]

"WHOA! Aggressive much, Travis? Who peed in your cereal this morning?" Darcy let out a little huff. While Darcy used to basically be the leader of their little group of friends, she was very much babied now, so sometimes it was almost shocking to have someone like Travis tease her like that. "Ew! I think I would honestly rather lick the dirty floor of a cinema than ever want to be with you like that." But Darcy could at least (sort of) come back at him.

"Five? Five reasons? What are you going to do with a goose teapot?!"

"Shut up, Darcy. You know you've always had a thing for me." Travis teased her back. He only felt uncomfortable being this sort of playful in front of his high school friends — despite the incident that tied them all together. "I'm sorry, who's Evie?" He mocked. "I don't think you've ever mentioned her before." Her girlfriend was someone that Travis considered worthy of approval, and he didn't mind reminding Darcy how lucky she was every now and then. Although, teasing her was more fun.

Focusing his attention back to the teapot, he folded his arms and straightened his back out. "Why should you get here?" She already had the teapot in her hand and he was well aware of that, but he'd rather kick up as fuss nonetheless — even though ultimately she would in fact be leaving here with it. He wasn't a total asshole, contrary to belief.

"Give me one — no five, good reasons why you should have it over me."

[vidalinav]

Stu(died) Snippet

Did you think I forgot about this fic? HA. 

~

Cassian sets down the pie tin, the glass clinging on the counter tops. “I’m giving you all warning now, but I’m bringing someone to Thanksgiving.” 

“And who’s that, baby?” His mom calls. She moves through the kitchen, reaching for a cup in the cupboard. Cassian doesn’t bother waiting for her to ask for help as short as she is or watch her climb on top of the counter. He grabs one for her and his mom gives him a sleepy pat on the cheek. 

“She’s a friend,” Cassian explains. 

That’s all the information he really wants to give. But it’s the way he says it... it gives too much away. His sister coughs as she tries to swallow a big bite of cereal, and his mom whips towards him with those laser beam eyes. 

“A friend?” 

“Yes, a friend,” Cassian confirms. 

Both of them open their mouths to speak. 

Luckily, his dad saves the day, yet again. He blinks blearily at the three of them huddled in the kitchen, hair a tousled mess. He’s probably wondering why all of them are so awake this early, but Cassian doesn’t bother mentioning, it’s already close to nine. He’ll take the distraction. Any reprieve. 

They watch as he looks to Azriel, flipping through channels in the living room. He simply nods a confused good morning. 

“Daniel,” His mom beams, slapping her hand to his father’s arm. “Cassian’s bringing a friend home for Thanksgiving!” 

“Who?” 

Cassian rubs the back of his neck. A nervous habit that he supposes is better than yelling to leave him alone. “Nesta... you met her at the game.” 

“Ah,” his dad sings, nodding in recognition. “The beautiful one.” 

He wags a finger, as he huffs a laugh, reaching for the coffee pot. “My son knows how to pick ‘em.” 

Cassian scowls at that. “She’s more than beautiful. She’s...” 

Funny, grumpy, secretively soft. 

“She’s smart,” Cassian says instead. 

Ama lifts the spoon from her lips, waving it around with a mouth full of coco puffs. 

“What’s she doing with you, then?” She jests. 

“Ha. Ha.” Cassian remarks, though he can’t hold back the irritation. He’s been asking himself that same question. 

Cassian breathes deeply, looking at his family who’s so going to embarrass him. He already regrets the decision. “She’s important to me, so I’m telling you early so you can get rid of any baby pictures where I’m naked in the bath... and don’t go pointing to places where I peed on the wall when I was six.” 

His father snorts, smirking to his mom, “That’s it Franny, we’re going to have to move. Get rid of anything Cassian’s touched.” 

But his mom’s hums in judgement, glaring up at him in the way that has him straightening. “I think you forgot about that time when you were fifteen. After that party.” 

“Men are disgusting,” Ama says, her mouth pursing as if she’s tasting something sour. “Anyways... What does she look like? I doubt you’re bagging Instagram models.” 

“Cassian’s good-looking! What do you mean?” His dad gestures towards him, confused. 

“Thank you!” Cassian says, pointedly glaring at Ama. 

But his sister only waves a hand, gesturing for Cassian to cough up the goods. Even his mom looks like she wants to know, her eyes big and pleading. 

Cassian sighs, pulling out his phone to the only photo he has of Nesta. 

Just seeing her has him smiling and he tries to tamper it down, hide it in a cough. She looks bored with her chin in her palm, irritated that he won’t put the phone down and study. 

It’s his favorite photo to date, and... if he’s honest, he’s looked at it a million times. Cassian can still feel the panic of that one time he almost deletes it--a slip of his large thumb--so he won’t let them touch the screen as he holds his phone out. 

“You look with your eyes, not your hands,” he says. 

“She’s so beautiful,” Ama gasps, holding a hand to her chest dramatically. “Way too pretty for you. But can I date her?” 

“You’re 15!” 

“And?” She drawls, “Is age the only thing standing in my way? No hope for you then.” 

Cassian’s opens his mouth to respond and his mom sighs at the two of them. He watches as she takes his dad’s coffee from his hand, sipping at it while she cozies under his arm. His dad snuggles close, laying his head on hers. Perfectly content. 

Cassian wants that... with Nesta. 

So many times, he’s imagined it. Nesta and him in a great big house... or a small, cozy home. Whatever she wants. Whatever makes her happy. As long as she’s in his arms. 

But Cassian shakes away the thought. She’s not even his. He’s not hers. They’re not dating. She’s only... a friend? 

He doesn’t even know. 

Rhys distracts him from his pity, if only because he enters the kitchen with that  ruffled expression he always seems to have on his lips. His brother leans on the counter, grabbing at an apple, but not before frowning at the picture still displayed bright on the screen. 

“She’s mean,” he notes, wrinkling his nose. 

Cassian grabs the apple out his hand, before he can take even one bite. “She’s not mean, she’s grumpy.” 

“Maybe that’s what he sees in women,” Azriel calls from the living room. 

“Yeah,” Cassian says, pointing at Rhys. “Wait--no! She’s just Nesta. That’s just how Nesta is. She’s not mean. She’s... tough.” 

“Like a steak that’s well done?” Ama questions. 

Cassian thinks better on answering that. The subject of meat and Nesta should not belong in the same conversation... unless it’s steak houses and cooking... eating? 

Cassian pinches the bridge of his nose. “Can we stop talking about Nesta now?” 

His mom simply, gestures to the picture. “How long have you known her?” 

Cassian sighs. He closes his eyes, knowing exactly what they’re going to say. “Three years.” 

All of them start shouting, and he wonders if he should mention how early it is.

Only nine... 

“What and she doesn’t want to date you? Is she blind?” His dad notes, gesturing to him as if he were a piece of meat. 

“Or stupid,” Rhys mumbles. 

“She’s smart,” Azriel mocks, joining the procession. He smiles and Cassian knows he’s only teasing, but he sneers at his brother anyway, waving at the others in a how could you? 

Ama shrugs a shoulder, “Dodging a bullet then.” 

Cassian watches as Azriel and Ama fist bump at that. He’s beginning to see where she’s getting the teenage angst and come backs. 

Cassian grabs the spatula, raising it like he’s making a solemn vow. “She’s coming for Thanksgiving,” He shouts, “and I swear if any of you make her uncomfortable, I’ll...” 

Cassian sputters. His mom raises a brow, that motherly cautionary say it tone in her voice. “You’re going to what?” 

“I’m going to burn all of the food. Nothing you eat will be edible!” 

“You wouldn’t dare!” Ama shrieks. 

Azriel scoffs, insulted as he crosses his arms. “Even the rolls?”

Rhys merely rolls his eyes. “Then Nesta will see you can’t cook and will probably dump your ass right then... I like this plan.” 

Cassian lowers the spatula. He didn’t think of that one.

“What do you see in her anyways?” 

It’s a genuine question, Cassian knows. One that he feels like he has to defend on principle. 

“I shouldn’t have to explain why I like someone, Little Rhysie.” Rhys sneers at the name. “And Nesta doesn’t have to like me, let’s be clear! But you just... you don’t know her like I do. Yes, she’s grumpy and she looks as if she’s always bored, and she acts, at first, dismissive and arrogant, but she’s loving and so funny and attentive, and she has to be comfortable for you to really see the extant of who she is.” 

“So, she’s a human version of Hamilton,” Ama says. 

At his name, the cat meows loudly. He jumps off the couch, raising a big furry tail. They all watch as he moves to his bowl, meowing in a fit of anger that it hasn’t already been filled. 

“Oh!” they all sound, looking to each other and nodding. 

Cassian shakes his head, “I'm getting a new family.” 

~

What is fanfiction but to write whatever nonsensical thing I make up in the moment? You’ll understand context eventually... probably. 

@unhealthyfanobsession @arinbelle

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

My new neighbor is a pregnant omega

My new neighbor is a pregnant omega https://ift.tt/WSYpZ3d by Ducissa_Clarie "He was over there watering the flowers and suddenly his pants got wet." Sam finishes eating his cereal. "Does he have a pee penance?" "A pee penance?" Dean frowns. "What the hell is that, Sam?" "You know, when you can't hold your pee." "Oh, urinary incontinence, is that what you mean?" "Yeah!" He stands up and puts his bowl in the dishwasher, "Or is it the baby that peed?" "What baby, Sam?" "The baby in the neighbor's belly across the street." Sam intertwines his fingers and puts his hands in front of him, "He's about this big." Or Where Dean falls in love with his new neighbor, who is pregnant with twins. Words: 1666, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 9 of Small scenes - OneShot Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural) Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Mpreg | Male Pregnancy, Alpha/Omega, Omega Verse, Omega Castiel/Alpha Dean Winchester, Child Sam Winchester, Mating Marks, temporary mating marks, Pregnant Castiel (Supernatural), Good Parent Dean Winchester, Fireman Dean Winchester, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Blowjobs, Fluff and Smut, Twins, From Neighbors To Lovers, burns fast, Soft Castiel/Dean Winchester, Invented Surname, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Not Canon Compliant, Love at First Sight, english is not my first language, One Shot, Family Fluff, Sam is a gossipy kid via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/nka7HGo February 26, 2025 at 01:01PM