#(Those posts I'm commenting on aren't all mine Tho)

[canirove]

Canary boy | Chapter 5

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

“I know that smile.”

“Holy shit, Inés!” Carla says, her phone almost falling from her hands. “Was that necessary?”

“Yes, it was. Who is he?”

“Who is who?”

“The guy you are texting with, Carla.”

“I'm not texting with anyone” she says with a nervous laugh.

“Of course… not!” I say, snatching her phone from her hands.

“Inés!” she complains. “What are you doing?”

“It sucks, doesn't it? Now you know how I feel when you do it” I say, sticking out my tongue and unlocking her phone. She says I need a password, but she's had the same one for years. “Wait, Mario?”

“Give me that!” she says, managing to retrieve her phone before I can read any of their messages.

“Are you texting with Mario? With Pedri's friend?”

“No.”

“Carla…”

“Ok, fine, yes. I am. Is there any problem with that?”

“No, no. But I thought nothing had happened between you two the night we met him.”

“And it didn't” she says. 

“You exchanged numbers, tho.”

“Yes, we did. But that's it.” 

“I knew you had liked him” I smile. “Cute.”

“Yeah, whatever” she says, hiding her phone and starting to get changed. 

While I'm doing the same, it's my phone the one that pings. A new message from… Pedri? Why is he texting me today? He is supposed to be on his romantic getaway with Nerea. 

Good luck, Inés. Show them what you've got 😉💙❤️

“Now you are the one smiling” Carla says. “What does canary boy say?”

“He's Canarian, not a canary” I reply, rolling my eyes. “And he is just wishing me luck.”

“He is texting you while away with his girlfriend?”

“Yeah” I shrug, sitting down to put on my boots.

I had had to tell Carla about everything that had happened during my visit to the campus. About how possessive Nerea had been with Pedri while he was cold and basically trying to avoid her. About how she had talked to me and hinted about knowing that I liked him, something that had made Carla scream an “I told you” so loud I'm sure my neighbours heard her. About how he had been a completely different person with her and when he had said goodbye to me. And, of course, about what Vic had said: that Nerea was jealous of me, which was something I still didn't understand. 

Why would someone like her be jealous of someone like me? She is clever, confident, beautiful. People turn their heads to look at her when she walks by and leave fire emojis on her photos, something I have never seen on mine. And even though I know I'm not stupid in any sense or an orc from the depths of Mordor, no one looks twice at me or leaves fire emojis in my photos. Not even Víctor has left something like that when he comments. The closest thing you could probably get to seeing one, is if I posted a photo of my face after a preseason training session or Pedri winking at me. 

“Inés, if she finds out, this is gonna get messy.”

“It's just a friend wishing luck to another.”

“Yeah, but one of those friends happens to be her boyfriend, and the other fancies him” Carla says. “And if things don't seem to be ok between them according to what you told me the other day, and she can't  stand you, her finding out about this can make it all be very…”

“Messy” I sigh. 

“Exactly. So maybe, until they figure things out, you should take a step back and stop texting him. Because Inés, I know you, and you've definitely started to get your hopes up after finding out that things with his girlfriend aren't what they seem on Instagram, and to think about your own love story with Pedri. And don't try to deny it, I know it is true.” 

Of course it is true. I mean, I've been imagining my life with him since the moment I met him. Though this time, knowing what I know and what I've felt when I've been alone with him, when he has touched me, when he has almost kissed me… It all feels more real. And more dangerous too. Because if it hurt when I found out he had started dating Nerea, if now they somehow managed to fix things…

“I just don't want him to break your heart, Inés” Carla says, taking my hand on hers. 

“I know” I smile.

“Good” she smiles back. “Now let's finish getting ready, we have a clásico to win.”

“We do. And Carla…” I say, stopping her before she gets up from her seat. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, Inés” she says, kissing my cheek. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Tell us, Inés. How does it feel to score your first goal with Barcelona’s first team, doing it against Real Madrid, and to win the game?”

“Honestly? I have no words” I laugh.

Because I had just done everything that the reporter had mentioned. That, and also be named player of the match. Someone please come and pinch me. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Inés, we need to go inside. It's getting late and you still haven't showered.”

“Just two more people, please” I say to the staff member that has stayed with me while I sign autographs and take photos with the fans after finishing all my interviews. 

“Fine” she sighs. “Two more.”

“Thank you” I smile before turning back to the stands and to signing t-shirts, posters and whatever you could think of. And while I'm signing the last t-shirt…

“Fancy some churros, Inés?”

“I beg your pardon?” I say, looking up at the owner of that voice. “Pedri?”

“Hello” he says with that smile of his that makes me feel all fuzzy inside.

“What… What are you doing here? I thought you were away!”

“I was.”

“You… you…”

“Inés, we have to go” the staff member says behind me.

“Just one second, please.”

“We can't, Inés. C'mon.”

“But…”

“I'll be outside waiting for you. Now be a good girl and do as you are being told” he smirks.

“I… I…” I mumble, opening and closing my mouth like a fish. If my face had stopped being as red as a tomato after the game, now it was back to burning. 

“Inés?”

“Yes, sorry. Sorry” I say, following the staff member. But before we disappear through the tunnel, I look back one last time at Pedri. And there he is, smiling and…

“Inés, are you ok?”

“Yes, yes. I just tripped with a water bottle someone left over there” I quickly say. A water bottle, or Pedri's wink. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Did you know he was coming?” I say to Carla the moment I walk into the changing room. 

“What?” 

“Pedri.”

“He's here?” she gasps.

“On the stands, yes. We just talked while I finished signing some autographs.”

“But that's… that's not possible! He was away with Nerea! He… Mario.”

“What?”

“Mario asked me for a ticket for the game, but then this morning said he couldn't come because he wasn't feeling well.”

“So you think…”

“That he gave it to Pedri.”

But why? Why would he give him his ticket? And why would Pedri ask for it in the first place? But most importantly… Why wasn't he with Nerea?

“Inés… Inés!” Carla says, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

“Hi, yes, what.”

“Come back to earth and focus. Because this doesn't change anything and things can still end up getting messy, ok?”

“Yed” I nod. “But he told me he was going to wait for me outside.”

“Then you go say hello and then back home. Alone.”

“Alone” I repeat.

“Good. Now go shower, you stink.”

“Hey, show some respect to the player of the match” I say, hitting her arm.

“Meh meh meh” she replies, sticking out her tongue and making me laugh. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Hello, Inés.”

“Hi” I say when I meet Pedri in the car park. He's leaning against a car with his hands in his pockets, looking… well. Looking like he does basically 24/7: hot as fuck. 

“May I drive you home?”

“Since when do you have a car?” I ask him.

“I rented it for the weekend, and since it got cut short…” he shrugs.

“Did something happen?”

“Nerea got that virus we talked about the other day.”

“And Mario?”

“Uh?”

“Did Mario also get it?”

“He… no” he says with a shy smile. “That was a little white lie. Hope you and Carla aren't too mad at us.”

“I'm not. But Carla… you may have just lost your roommate.”

“Oh, well” he shrugs again, making us both laugh. “Anyway, may I give the player of the match a ride home?” Pedri says with his most charming smile.

“You may” I giggle. 

━━━━━━���━━━━━━

Flash forward a few hours. We are now in my kitchen, Pedri carefully putting some olives on his pizza while I just stare at his mouth. Because when he is focused, he pouts. And if his lips look very kissable just by existing, now they look… well, you can imagine.

“Done” he smiles after putting the last olive. “Can you open the oven for me, please?”

“Of course” I say. “Now what?” I ask him after he's put the pizzas inside and closed it.

“Now while we wait, we clean.”

“Are you seriously telling me that after the day I've had, now I have to clean? That the player of the match has to clean her kitchen?” I ask him with a teasing smile.

This is the joke we have had going on since leaving the stadium. That since I had been the player of the match, I deserved to be treated like a princess, and that was why he had offered to drive me home or to make me dinner. 

Remember what Carla said about taking a step back? Yeah, not happening.

“If your kitchen is a mess, it's your fault, Inés” Pedri says.

“Mine?”

“Who was the one who knocked the flour bag?” he asks me.

“Ok, yes, that was me. But it was your fault.”

“Mine?” he laughs.

“Yes, you. I was focused on my pizza, and you scared me when you walked past me.” When he walked past me, and when he touched my waist. My t-shirt was twisted on my apron (this time I had convinced him to wear one), and my skin was showing. So when I felt his fingers touching me…

“Not my fault that you are clumsy, Inés” he shrugs. 

“Me? Clumsy?” I say, taking a step forward towards him.

“Yes, you” he says, doing the same.

“Ummm…”

“Inés!” he gasps when I quickly cover my finger on flour and run it over his cheek.

“Sorry. I'm just a clumsy girl” I shrug, trying really hard not to smile. Who are you and where is shy Inés?

“Clumsy… clumsy…” 

“Pedri!” I gasp when instead of just one finger, he covers his whole hand on flour and rubs it all over my face.

“Now you look like a Real Madrid t-shirt” he laughs.

“Like a… You asked for this!” I say, taking a handful of flour and throwing it at him, starting what from now on will be known in history books as “the flour war”. 

“Inés… Inés, stop. I need a break” Pedri says after running like crazy around my kitchen throwing flour and each other, both of us laughing like two little kids. 

“Already?” I tease him.

“Yes, already. Only one of us is a professional athlete, you know?” he says, grabbing a glass and pouring himself some water.

“Weak.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I said… weak” I smirk.

“That was so rude, Inés. So so rude” he says, pouring himself more water. But this time he isn't drinking it. He is walking towards me with the glass full to the rim.

“Pedri, what are you doing with that water?”

“What do you think?” he asks with a mischievous smile.

“You won't dare throwing it at me, will you? I'm covered in flour!”

“And so am I, Inés. Right now I look like a Targaryen.”

“So do I.”

“You do. But white hair doesn't suit you, so it's time we wash it.”

“Pedri, don't. Please don't do it, don't… Pedri!” I scream, closing my eyes and waiting for the water. Though it never comes. 

“You can open your eyes, Inés. I'm not going to do anything, I was just teasing you.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Ok” I say, slowly opening my eyes. “Pedri!” I gasp when he splashes my face. 

“Sorry. Couldn't help myself.”

“You… You…” I say, looking for something I can use against him.

“Inés, did you just throw an olive to my face?”

“Maybe” I shrug. 

“That hurt!”

“Oh, c'mon. Don't be a baby, Pedro” I smirk. Seriously, tho. Who is this woman and where has my usual shy persona gone?

“You asked for this.”

“No, Pedri. Pedri!” I yell, when he threatens to empty the glass of water in my head. But like he said, I happen to be a professional athlete and manage to dodge it. “That was so sad” I laugh. 

“Don't make fun of me, Inés.”

“Or what? Will you throw another glass of water at me and miserably miss?” I chuckle.

“I may do this instead” he says, putting the glass down and pinning me against the wall with such speed that I only have time to gasp as I feel his body against mine, his hands resting at each side of my head. “Now who is the one laughing?”

“I… I…” I gulp. He is so close, that our noses are almost touching, his chest squeezing mine. And when I say mine, I say my boobs. And I'm wearing the thinest of bras, so he is definitely feeling it all. 

“You've been a very bad girl, Inés” he smirks, pushing me a bit more against the wall. “We are gonna have to do something about that.”

“Something?” I manage to say.

“Yes. Some kind of punishment” he says, looking at me in a way he had never done before, his eyes almost black. “And I think I know the perfect one” he says as he moves his hands from the wall behind me, one resting on my waist while the other caresses my jaw down to my neck and to my collarbone, making me gasp. 

“Pedri…” I whisper, my whole body already on fire.

“It's gonna be ok, Inés. Don't worry” he says before biting my skin where my neck and shoulder meet, making me gasp once again, my hands moving on their own and grabbing his t-shirt. But he doesn't stop there. He keeps moving up my neck, biting, sucking and kissing my skin, noises I didn't know I could make leaving my mouth. “Inés…” he whispers against my neck, pushing his body against mine even more. We are so close now, that I can feel all of him. All of him. Jesus fucking Christ. 

“Pedri” I hear myself moan when he kisses me somewhere close to my ear. Who knew being kissed there could feel so damn good?

“God, Inés…” he says as he starts kissing my jaw, now both his hands on my waist, grabbing it with such intensity that I'm pretty sure I'll have bruises tomorrow. There, and all over my neck. Though I may burst into flames first, because the heat I'm feeling is not normal. 

“Pe… ah!” I scream when someone rings my apartment’s doorbell.

“Are you expecting anyone?” Pedri asks in my ear, the feeling making me gasp for the millionth time in the past few minutes. 

“No.”

“Then ignore it” he says. But as those words leave his mouth, the doorbell sounds again. 

“I should probably go check who it is.”

“Urgh” he groans, kissing that first spot he had bitten and taking a step back, the heat I was feeling leaving with him. At least part of it, because I don't think this is going anywhere any time soon. 

“It'll be just a minute” I tell him before leaving the kitchen to answer the intercom, taking deep breaths to somehow make myself relax. Ha! Good luck, Inés.

“And?” he asks me when I'm back, already busy cleaning the kitchen. 

“Someone has sent me flowers.”

“What?”

“Yeah” I shrug. “The delivery guy is coming up.”

“And are you planning on answering the door looking like that?” he chuckles.

“Looking like… shit” I say, looking down at my apron and my clothes. I still am covered in flour.

“Here, let me help you” Pedri says, picking a kitchen towel and holding my face by the chin while he cleans it, my skin burning where he is touching me. See? That heat wasn't going anywhere. “There, much better” he smiles. “Though we must do something about the hair too” he says as he moves to stand behind me, first untying my apron and taking it off me, and then undoing the braid I was wearing, running his hands through my hair as flour surrounds us everywhere. Why is all this turning on me as much as everything he did before? “Now. Perfect” he smiles again as he moves to be in front of me, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. It's a miracle that I am still standing. “Go open the door.”

“What?”

“The door, Inés. The delivery guy just rang.”

“Yes, the door. Yes. Sorry” I say, my brain remembering how to function and making me walk.

“Who has sent you flowers? A secret admirer?” Pedri asks me when I'm back again. 

“My family” I say. “Neither of them could be at the game, and they've sent me this.”

“Oh, that's nice. You have two older sisters, don't you?” he says while cleaning around the kitchen. “I think you posted about them recently on Instagram.” There he is again, paying attention to what I post and remembering it. But why? Why, why, why. 

“Yes, for their birthday. Ingrid and Irene.”

“The three of you have names that start with an i?” he chuckles.

“Yeah” I shrug. 

“Are you close?” 

“Could be worse.”

“What does that mean?”

“They are ten years older than me, and they are twins. They didn't need anyone else, they already had each other.”

“Wait, ten years?” Pedri says after checking the oven. I had completely forgotten about the pizzas. “What happened there?”

“My parents tried to save their marriage. It didn't work.”

“Oh. I'm sorry, Inés.”

“Nah, it's ok. They got divorced when I was three and I don't have memories of them together, so” I shrug.

“Have any of them remarried?”

“My mother. She married when I was eighteen and moved to Manchester, her husband is from there.”

“So you stayed with your father?”

“Not really. He's constantly traveling because of his job, so since one of my sisters works in Madrid and the other in Paris, I've basically been on my own.”

“Welcome to the club” he smiles. “And the pizzas are ready. Can you bring a couple of plates, please?”

“Sure” I say, doing as he has asked me. “What about you?”

“Uh?”

“Your family.”

“I'll tell you about them the day you come to my place and cook and clean for me.”

“What?” I laugh.

“I think it's fair” Pedri shrugs. “These have to cool down before we can eat them, so while they do it, I'm gonna wash myself a bit and stop looking like I just came from filming “House of the Dragon”. Don't touch them, ok?”

“I won't.”

“I'm serious, Inés. They say fire can't kill a dragon, but we aren't real Targaryens” he smirks.

“I didn't know you were a “Game of Thrones” fan” I chuckle.

“I'm full of surprises” Pedri winks before leaving the kitchen and me, obviously, trying to remember how to breathe. 

He's seriously gonna be the death of me.

[dogstarblues]

20 Questions

got tagged by @artemis-devotee. seemed like fun! ty botan!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

i have 11 works and i can tell you four of those are poetry.

2. What’s your total AO3 words count?

17,831

3. What fandoms do you write for?

on ao3? used to write for the ch**tiverse, still write for Victoria Goddard's Nine Worlds. well, okay im on hiatus from participating in fan stuff bc i got too much going on and i have complicated feelings abt fandom. but. on ffnet? naruto, inuyasha, bleach, fairy tail, danny phantom. i think.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

we have time (love this one - much needed natural hair content in that fandom, much needed)

you can't even see how much you're mine (i'm really proud of this one)

before we have time

just for now

gazing at the sun

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i respond to everyone's comments if i can remember LOL

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

you can't even see how much you're mine. really exorcised my polyamory baggage with that one LMAO

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

mmmmm none of them end poorly but they end heavily, if that makes sense? but also they don't. like most of my fanfiction as an adult in my 30s is discussion of wants and needs in a relationship and hashing out things that need to be talked abt

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have on ffnet when i was a teen and giving every naruto character in my biopunk fanfic like 4 codenames SDKVDFLVMS

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

yuh. "just for now" is smut (old man yaoi). and there's another i think. i wanted to really confront my sex repulsion and explore my own boundaries around what i write.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

naur i never understood crossovers v well. i love an AU tho

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

probably not. on ffnet it was SO goth edgelord and now it's extremely poetic prose. (and when i say POETIC prose i mean it tend to be concise and abstract, not that its purple) who wants that LOL

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

naur

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

yes! my first fanfiction was with my childhood friend Sunshine and we posted a double-self-insert absolute MANIC fanfic set in the world of Inuyasha posted to ffnet. one of my fondest memories. i dictated, she wrote.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

i don't have one these days but i shant say what it used to be only that it made me insane from the time i was 14 to the age of 25.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i had an old man yaoi urban fantasy au wherein a character who used to be the chosen one had been imprisoned and was surviving the trauma of that as a music teacher and i read a ton of prison literature for it and watched documentaries and watched interviews and spent WEEKS researching trauma from incarceration and what it means to be incarcerated (part of this was because my birth father was about to be incarcerated and i was trying to write through my understanding of what he'd be going through) and researching what town councils do. and then a (now former) friend had torn apart the fic paragraph by paragraph during beta and wrote how boring parts were and no one wanted to hear abt me talking abt poetry in the fanfic and it was my FIRST fanfic since i was in my early twenties and i basically deleted the whole thing out of embarrassment and hurt. iykyk who it was. idk if i can ever go back to that. i just don't. i want to but. even strangers in workshops aren't that cruel LOL

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'm a pretty/poetic writer good at relationship shit i think. i'm good at grounding the reader in a sense of place and my writing is very tactile. it's embodied.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i am a pretty/poetic writer

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i know some spanish and a little french and even less russian (i'm like learning that one through osmosis) but it's not v applicable. hmmmm i wouldn't try unless i was fluent.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

inuyasha

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

either the naruto biopunk fanfiction on ffnet (i turned that one into a fanfic from a biopunk short story i had written in high school it's v close to my heart even if edgy) or "you can't even see how much you're mine" bc i put a lot into that or "we have time" because your partner doing your natural hair IS a love language.

if yall wanna hop in i'm tagging @toopunkrockforshul @cadencekismet @markeyverse

[sleeplesslark]

Author interview:

Thank you for the tag! @girl-with-goats

1. How many works do you have on ao3:

22 total, most are one shots.

2. What's my total ao3 wc:

159,557

3. What are my top 5 fics by kudos:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37928158

New tatto artist

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35174488

Gorgeous

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35983726

Quiet nights

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35557597/chapters/88643464

Learning to Care

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35399944

Only because its soft.

4. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to on newer fics, especially ongoing projects. I like hearing how readers see the story. Plus, I want to make friends in the fandoms I write for, or at least get the chance to have a back and forth on characters and media we both enjoy.

I don't on older works either because it can be too overwhelming, especially when I get a lot at once on a story I haven't touched in a while. And because, while I appreciate the sentiment, I don't always have a lot to add other than thanking the commentor.

5. What fic has the angstiest ending

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47821864

All roads lead to rome, the eteral timeloop feels like a mindfuck. Also I feel like, in it, Tom has a sense that he's given in which feels bleak

6. What fic has the happiest ending

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35557597/chapters/88643464

Learning to Care, Spoilers for Alice in Borderland. Arisu gets to keep one after after that game and while they will have prpblems moving forward, Chishiya is learning to care, as the title suggests.

7. Do you write crossovers

I have not but I'm not against the idea.

8. Have you recuperate hate on ao3

If I have it didn't stand out

9. Do you write smut

I have tried to, and it never got posted cuz the smut started, and I had no idea what to do or where to go from there. The pants came off, and I went head empty.

10. Have you had a fic get stolen

Not that I know of. They aren't user only so maybe mined by ai? Doubtful though.

11. Have you had a fic get translated

Nope, not against the idea but it's never been offered. Wouldn't know where to go to seek it out either.

12. Have you co-written a fic

No, very open to the idea though. The writers whomst I am closest to are not in the same fandoms as me. If anyone ever wants to I'm open to the idea though.

13. What's your fav ship

Romantic: Most of the ships I like are not due to the ship itself but the type of content it tends to attract. I'm very, plot forward in my reading. For writing it's probably Arisu/Chishiya cuz its easiest for me.

Platonic: Kabuto and Naruto. Easily.

Familial: reading wise, Snape being parental to Harry got me into reading fanfic. Writing wise, Fugaku and Mikoto to their sons. Haven't written a lot of it but it's so cute and tragic.

14. What's a WIP you want to finish but never will

Learning to Care. I want to, but I don't. I could go on and had an idea for it at one point, but idk. I feel like I also got out the story I wanted to tell...people wanted more which may have contributed to it, and I said in the comments I had an idea for more, but it lomd of fizzled out when I tried writing it. So for now, no sequel, eternal haitus.

If someone else wants to finish it I have no issues with that. Credit the first fic, I'd be willing to link ur sequel in my fic. Probs not gonna be me tho.

15. What are my writing strengths

I feel like I'm good at getting in a character's head. I like dialogue and introspection. Those kinds of scenes tend to flow best for me.

16. What are my writing weaknesses

Combat, and anything that involves staging. Like, describing how a character is existing in a space. For example, how they're sitting or the layout of a room and how they're interacting with it. It tends to read clunky to me. Also why I'm not great at smut.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages on ao3

No thoughts. I've seen it a bit. Doesn't bother me, doesn't entice me.

18. What's the first fandom you wrote for?

The mortal instruments tv show

19. What fandom/ship have you not written but want to

Hmmm, I've wanted to do a Harry Potter series rewrite for years. Where everyone has magic and how that would change things. No muggles basically. I've written hp, but nothing with that detail or worldbuilding. My interest has fallen off significantly though. Maybe someday. Idk if that answers the question, but a more in depth hp fic I suppose that the two one shots I have.

Funnily enough if you'd asked me this a year ago I'd probably have said Naruto for similar reasons. Wanting to write something more plotty and substantial.

20. What's your fav fic you've written:

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3664171

Loyalty's Price series. If I had to pic a fav...Eternity for sure. The latest one. I feel like it's the one where I've been putting my full soul into it from the start, where LP 1 and Interlude felt more, like I was trying to write well vs letting myself be self indulent.

With a lot of my fics, not saying they felt like writing practice or I had nothing to say but LP is the first fic I've really felt like I had something to say. Like, this isn't just a cool idea it's a story I want to tell and one I want to tell well. It says a lot that I want to go back and rewrite LP1 at some point. This story keeps me up at night trying to plan things out and referencing the source matieral all the time, like, gleefully. Kabuto lives in my soul rent free.

Hmmmmmm

Tagging @aceon-ice (many tags for you bestie <3), @mugsdontlie (sorry if you got tagged already!), @bluesundaycake (sorry if you got tagged already!), @inrainprose (it really wants me to tag you for some reason).

[planetpiastri]

pairing: lando norris x fem!fewtrell!reader [no faceclaim, reader is faceless] summary: you've had a crush on your brother's best friend for years now, but haven't had the guts to tell him. but christmas is about telling people how you feel, and this ski trip might be the perfect chance. notes: tumblr tried to kill me dead and stop this smau from getting released but i persevered bc delivering wholesome christmas content is a full-time job. also as a disclaimer... i have never been skiing. so hopefully this doesn't suck. anyways merry christmas thanks for all the love over the last few months!

ynfewtrell

liked by team_quadrant, landonorris, and 84,038others

ynfewtrell ski trip part one: the fewtrell siblings venture into the wilderness

view all 1,897 comments

username1 OMG YN AND QUADRANT CONTENT COMING SOON

maxfewtrell Doing me dirty

ynfewtrell it's a full-time job

alex_albon whose dog did you kidnap?

ynfewtrell don't worry about it

landonorris posting as if i was not on aux for the three hour drive we took together :(

ynfewtrell your aux skills are exactly why you didn't get posted

ynfewtrell

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, and others

ynfewtrell ski trip part two: this shit EZ

view all 1,504 comments

maxfewtrell I have footage of you falling over several times

ynfewtrell no you don't because that didn't happen

username2 that shit is breathtaking dawg

landonorris built different 💪

username3 ok yn in her photographer era

landonorris i took two of these ynfewtrell no free promo if i post it before your jpg account it's mine

landonorris

liked by ynfewtrell, team_quadrant, and 811,034 others

landonorris the most wonderful time of the year with the most wonderful kind of people

view all 12,765 comments

username4 aw lando and his emotional support fewtrell siblings

team_quadrant Are we just chopped liver?? landonorris yea

username5 yn is actually SO pretty omg

maxfewtrell I can't believe you've done this

landonorris 😁

username6 bring back your jpg account

ynfewtrell post the video of you falling and sliding into that big snow bank

landonorris only if i can slide into you ynfewtrell what landonorris what three comments were deleted by landonorris

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, and others

ynfewtrell ski trip part three: being both holly AND jolly this season

view all 2,180 comments

username7 yn is such a g for giving us lando content

oscarpiastri I would not trust him with an animal

username8 BAHAHA OSCAR COMING OUT OF HIATUS TO ROAST LANDO

maxfewtrell Glad my tree decorating services aren't going unnoticed

username9 ok but you're slaying the all-white look

landonorris she holly on my jolly till i

ynfewtrell no no finish the sentence

landonorris

liked by mclaren, ynfewtrell, and 843,876 others

landonorris totally normal christmas where nothing exciting happened. definitely didn't fall in love with my best friend's sister and kiss her under the mistletoe.

view all 15,327 comments

username10 I KNEW I WASN'T CRAZY I SAW THOSE DELETED COMMENTS

ynfewtrell that'd be crazy if it happened. good thing it didn't.

landonorris exactly what i'm saying

username11 the unicorn helmet LMAO

username12 girl u are focusing on the WRONG PART OF THIS POST

mclaren Take him to the moon for me 🥹🧡💫

username13 BYE team_quadrant Back off, they're ours

maxfewtrell Ugh you guys are both so annoying. Happy for you tho

ynfewtrell ? landonorris wym? nothing happened maxfewtrell Nvm die miserable

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, and others

ynfewtrell ski trip part four: christmas magic ❤️💚🎄🌟 (+ proof that we did, in fact, fall over skiing)

view all 2,897 comments

maxfewtrell Finally

ynfewtrell 14 year old me is giggling squealing kicking her feet rn landonorris ew do u have a crush on me or something ynfewtrell NO SHUT UP

username14 pelting ur new bf with a snowball is such a funny hard launch

team_quadrant Cute

ynfewtrell thanks for the invite pls keep giving me free merch

oscarpiastri I just know that the snowball was deserved

ynfewtrell yea that was his punishment for not making a move sooner landonorris i'm a little slow okay

username15 wahh i'm gonna miss yn's posts now that the ski trip is over 💔

landonorris i love you btw ❤️

ynfewtrell 🤭💐❤️

[callme-yah]

We do agree!

My complaint with my earlier mentioned 'Type 2' stories is the way that they villainise the victim if they umm and urr on forgiveness, either by using other characters to outrightly tell them that they're the bad ones now, or by using the narrative to show that they're hurting someone who's trying to be better. Either way, it pushes the message that 'forgiveness is mandatory!!!!! If someone comes to you and says they're better you HAVE to forgive them!!!!' and that ticks me off.

Much like Yang and Tai, I have forgiven my Mother. When I talk about her (something I do a lot as part of my job is literally talking about my abuse with strangers, which is also why I'm good making posts like this), my way of explaining it is 'She is to blame. I do not blame her.' because she is, objectively, to blame for my suffering. But I don't blame her for her actions because of aforementioned reasons that aren't mine to share.

RWBY in itself does do wonderfully at showing all sorts of abuse (tho Jacques and Adam are a little too moustache twirling evil for me, but that's me) AND all sorts of victims/survivors of said abuse. (Winter is another character who's reaction I feel deep deep in my bones!) A lot of the frustration in my earlier comments has come from the community who seem unable to handle the discussion that a character they like may not be a perfect father and may have caused harm to his child(ren) and are taking that frustration out on those who are pointing it out (NOT what I think OP of this post was doing at all! But I have seen some other posts, mostly on my main blog (this is my 'secret' blog xD) where posters have been rude about the people discussing Tais harm)

So I've been seeing some takes about Taiyang being an awful abusive father and I'm sorry but I just don't see it. He's definitely a flawed father and those flaws have had a negative impact on Yang, I'm not arguing against that, but I see people painting him with the same brush as Jacques, Adam and Marcus Black and it honestly feels like there's a lot of nuance to the situation that people are deliberately ignoring.

[koushirouizumi]

* D O . N O T . r e b l o g

{Never thought I’d see the day drafts stayed at 500 again}

{IMG by Me} {DO NOT re-post} (Please ASK to Use)

{Prefer no comment Please and Thank You} [Unless respectful]

[sungbeam]

here to flood your inbox with the questions✨

BUT HI DUCKIE MEIMEI 💗

3, 4, 9, 15, 18, 19, 21, 23, (IM SO SORRY FOR STEALING SO MANY NUMBERS BUT THESE QUESTIONS ARE SO GOOD), 28, 29, and 34

signing off with love

- ash

ash jie !!!! tysm for ur ask ^_^ and omg ty for the influx of numbers hehe <3

fanfic writer asks

3. What's been your most popular fic this year?

oh it was definitely my beomgyu drabble mine !! it was the fic that got me a ton of my followers and it's my first post to reach 1k and 2k+ notes which was super exciting :')

4. What piece of writing are you most proud of?

find my answer to #4 here!

9. What's a scene you wrote this year that you're particularly proud of?

hmm kind of a hard question cuz sometimes i think i'm a genius and other times i think a scene just doesn't work 😭😭 but ,,, i'll say i remember being super satisfied w lost at sea the pilot episode/chapter for my *cough* unfinished riptide!mark lee series ha,, haha

15. Are there are other writers or artists who have inspired you?

OH MY GOD SO MANY (´Д⊂ヽ i'm just gonna name drop :') @ethereal-engene ofc, @loveliestfelix @korijime @jaehunnyy @leejungchans @goldenhypen @/maijunejuly @petrichor-han @tranquilpetrichor @justalildumpling @polarisjisung @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l probs many more as well ksfbkenf but thank u all for being such amazing people who light up my dms and dashboard and make me want to keep writing and dreaming :')

18. Do you have a fic that you wish received more attention?

lmao a few tbh so i'll recommend a few 😁

— cruel summer (kim seungmin)

— the cage (yoon jeonghan)

— in all your endeavors, forever (kim hongjoong)

— 11:22am (jung sungchan)

19. What was your favorite comment, or piece of feedback this year?

definitely has to be ash jie's full review of in all your endeavors forever like having a whole post dedicated to a very through review of MY OWN fic just,,, omg it just made my day fr like woah mind-blown yk? so thank u sm jie :'( 💖

but in general, any feedback or comment just makes me so warm and fuzzy and excited !! once, someone told me they came back from the dead to remind people that i was one of the best writers here and tbh i could cry 😭😭😭 ??

21. Not a question, but a challenge! Say something nice about your writing!

*panics* UHM!! i,,, like that i've been improving in the description department? idk bro (´Д⊂ヽ like i'm trying to be more patient with my descriptions and i def have some work to do w solving my white room syndrome, but i think i'm getting better w touchy feely emotional things lol

23. What fic did you enjoy writing the most?

i actually really enjoyed writing the fics with crack/humor in them a lot! i write a lot of angst and i do enjoy writing that too, but i also love writing banter sm

will specifically mention this jungwon fic and this nct dream fic tho

28. What is your favorite story or chapter title you came up with this year?

OOH !!! uhhhhh i really like "cruel mercy" (wip), "bird hunt" (wip), and "dear chan, have you ever been in love before?"

29. What was the funniest comment or piece of feedback that you received?

AHAHHAHA when i posted the one beomgyu drabble for my october mini series, almost all the reblogs were talking abt how tf were those cheesy pickup lines attractive 💀🤡 tbh only beomgyu could make corny ass pick up lines attractive but yuh ✨ also whenever em rbs my stuff, she's so funny sjfnejfbj like i once posted a fic at 2am and she rb'd w smth like wait y aren't u asleep beam (ignoring the fact that she was also not asleep 💀)

34. What's the weirdest thing you researched for a fic?

LMAOO i don't think i remember half the things i google while in the moment tbh 🤣 but i vividly remember going down the rabbit hole of cheerleader positions and stunts for this one wip bc idk what any of that cheer stuff is called (´Д⊂ヽ and i think soon i'm gonna need to spiral down the dance rabbit hole too @_@ like figuring out waltzes and tangos and what that one dance intak did for isac :')

[strawberry-nugget]

Oddly specific bnha headcanons

Characters: Deku, Bakugo, Kirishima, Kaminari, Jirou, All Might, Endeavor, Hawks, Dabi

A/N: I'm finally back from my mini hiatus and I finally finished a part of my never ending cursed head canons and I also hit a new milestone so I feel like you all deserve this attempt of mine at comedy for the love I've been getting...I'm also sorry, this is a wild ride, and as you're reading you might wonder why did I make these? And the answer is, simply, because I can 😭, no lol though true... I'm soft so if these made you laugh and you leave an LMAO comment I'll think about it forever uwu. I've talked about most of these with my dear friend @aichiin, who is an amazing artist whom should support in all platforms uwu bye

Warnings: some of this content is NSFW, 18+, so if you're under 18 DO NOT INTERACT

Disclaimer: everyone is at least of 18 years of age

• I can't explain why, and we've seen Endeavor texting shoto in canon but... I feel like probably his texts look like this: …..shoto why aren't you Answering your phone… 

….tell fuyumi to make you soba… . 

… ……are you still friends with that rude boy from school.. 

…I don't want any take out dont get any for me tell natsuo that I'm sorry and try to ask him if he's changed his mind about forgiving me.… 

• All might opens a Facebook account a month before the beloved class graduates as his way to keep on touch with everyone after they're off to fight crime and lives his life as the ultimate Facebook mom and thinks he's texting people but apparently posting on your Facebook wall isn't texting. He has probably made a thousand posts asking midoriya how it works until people just, they just, accept it, I guess, there's nothing else they can do. He uses the Facebook mom tulip emoji and writes in all cap. Give him credit for being so sweet tho. 

And probably it goes like this: "💞🥰🌷🤣WHAT AN AMAZING SUNDAY. GOOD MORNING YOUNG MIDORIYA HOW HAVE YOU BEEN" Ofc he will not hesitate to use all these emojis unironically, in fact, he doesn't know that is the ironic use of an emoji, leave him alone

(Comments on the post most probably go like this: Bakugo: I EXIST TOO YOU OLD HAG, FUCK YOU DEKU, I DIDN'T BRING YOU TO THIS WORLD BUT I SURE WILL TAKE YOU OUT. MOTHERFUCKER. 

Denki: mister al mght do we have english tomorrow ? 

Momo: @denki, no but we have literature, hello mister all might sir, have a nice day too

All might: YOUNG BAKUGO PLEASE WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE 🤣 YOUNG KAMINARI, AS YOUNG YAOYOROZU SAID YOU HAVE LITERATURE AFTER MY CLASS📜 HAVE A BEAUTIFUL EVENING YOUNG YAOYOROZU🌷

• I'm sorry for this but.... Midoriya, Denki and Kirishima probably lick their finger after they absolutely drill it in their noses but here's the deal

Midoriya inspects what he fished out like thoroughly, Denki dissociates while staring at it, and Kirishima does so straight out of his nose

• Someone told Shoto that Saiki K is based on true events and he genuinely believes it and tries to find Saiki K, claiming that he is the answer to all of his problems. Is very subtle about it tho.

• I think that in part one of these atrocious head canons we established that Keigo would willingly put effort to find the clit, right? Listen he probably asks what's the concept of the clit, like why is it outside and not inside- wait you have another spot inside, yeah? He's is so confused and for what? Won't stop for it mid sex but he searches reproduction organ anatomy later on on google because he brought some questions in his brain that need answers. On the clit. You heard me right.

• Dabi looks like he once had a break up that was so rough that he opened a Twitter just to drag the other person down. For once, I won't go into detail and will let your imaginations run wild. 

• I have to do a a cursed one for Bakugo right? Well yeah uhm, he probably was caught flexing his muscles in the mirror during vacation, totally naked too, by one of his friends in his group and screamed in a high pitched voice and picked up that little hotel room fridge to cover himself up and chased them around the hotel room until he just crushed the poor item. To the floor? Because he tried to use it as a cover up and it just slipped... It's even worse if the friend was a potential s/o. He'll scream like one of the screaming/simping TikTok sounds.

• Bakugo also really hates chairs. Idk why I have this headcanon, but I know it in my heart that this man, as an adult, only has those round weird- ish IKEA stools around the kitchen table that's all. No more chairs. Nothing.

• this is too self indulgent but Kirishima and Deku look like the people who, while washing forks, spoons etc they create whole stories about them and treat them like characters, and others would just look at them so confused as to why it takes 16 minutes to wash off a spoon and why are they also crying but you wouldn't understand. This spoon is Cinderella. Back off and let. them. finish. their. stories.

• I feel like Jirou has phases where she only wants to wear black but then she sees a nice pair of jeans and buys it, and then buys some more and then she gets mad about having blue jeans and she dyes them, but then she grows out of that phase for a few months and she tries to find ways to make the fabric paint fade away

• I also think that she, after spending a little time with Momo, spends money on a lot of clothes, and it's not like Momo buys too many clothes, but Jirou always wants to upgrade her wardrobe and ends up feeling lost on what she wants to wear

• Denki and Kirishima turn into the same person a little more every single time they hang out together. You'll listen to Denki say 'manly' all the time and Kirishima starts trying to find leather jackets that look cool on him, and just adopts Dennis speaking habits.

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

Fic Writer Questions! (you can find me here on AO3 if you're interested!)

tagged by dear @theburialofstrawberries mwah!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

112 yowza!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

750,421 kinda tempted to go delete one word so it can be 750420 which is a far more Pleasing number

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

12ish but some of them overlap: BBCS/Sherlock Holmes/ACD (these are all different bc my bbcs fics are not the same as my own modern fem Sherlock Holmes adaptation are not the same as my ACD Holmes fic; Good Omens; Harry Potter/The Werewolf Draco Malfoy Cinematic Universe; Captive Prince; The Hobbit; Fleabag (it was a crossover with BBCS but Fleabag is the perspective character so it still counts as a separate fandom imo); Doctor Who; The Office; Parks and Rec; Broad City (one a piece for those last 5 but I AM going to write a Parks and Rec polycule fic for @gaykagome)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They're all Good Omens fics from the 2019 Summer of Good Omens! Susceptible to Summer, Fragments Shored Against My Ruin, Something So Magic, Enter Serpent, and Anything We Like

All of those have over 2k except the last one, but average engagement for me is like 400 kudos or so

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try! It depends on what's going on with me. Sometimes I just don't have the energy, and I figure people would rather I spend my brain power on writing new fics than on writing replies to comments. Wish I had a fave button tho so I could let people know I read and reread comments, because I do!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh I wrote this ficlet series called A Chemical Defect about John and Sherlock's relationship in s3 of BBCS, and it's WILDLY unpopular. People don't read my fic to cry sad tears I guess! John and Sherlock are having an affair in the story, and it ends with the implication that their relationship is unsustainable and that Mary knows about it anyway. I intended to come back to it after s4 and write a more optimistic ending but LOL! Didn't have the heart.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I know this answer is kinda up my own ass, but like. I think stories that feel true to life sort of feel like they end on a beginning if you know what I mean? You don't really consider a chapter of your life closed until you look back on it from the next? SO that said, I think I'd have to say that it's my big BBCS serial The Only One in the World. I spent 2 years writing it, and it ends with John retiring from medicine to solve crimes and write books full time.

Could also be my WDMCU (werewolf Draco Malfoy cinematic universe) series Moonrise, which starts with Draco isolated in his abusive mother's house, trying to cope with lycanthropy essentially alone and ends with him in love and surrounded by found family in a cozy cottage in Hogsmeade, having gotten some lycanthrope rights legislation passed after working at it for years and talking to Harry about whether they want to have kids. Oh man I feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written one crossover. It's BBCS/Fleabag, because me and @loudest-subtext-in-tv were laughing about how John seems like one of the horrible guys Fleabag sleeps with basically out of self loathing, so I wrote this fic to make Nattie laugh, and you should read it bc it's so good and so underrated.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really, but people don't seem to know that authors can read bookmark tags unless you private the bookmark, and someone once put in the bookmark tag on one of my fics 'writing was meh but it was okay.' Okay so why bookmark it then??

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Fuck yes! I'm not sure what 'what kind?' means? People fucking? Sloppy, silly, and awkward, with lots of laughing. I also really like writing afterglow scenes which are even sillier and gigglier and often involve one character cooking for another. Food as love language is a very distinct pattern of mine tbh

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, but occasionally I'll write a post on here where I make some elaborate head canon, and I'll see people in the tags talking about how they want to write fic of it, and it makes me breathe fire out of my nose like a dragon like PLEASE DON'T. The WDMCU came out of a ficlet post I made on here like a year before I actually wrote the 60k series so like!!! Please don't do that!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! To Russian and I believe Chinese. Not my entire oeuvre but a handful of BBCS and Good Omens fics

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I wrote a fic inspired by an RP I did with my gf right around when we met (actually now that I think about it, it's two fics), and I waaaaaaanna do a WDMCU collab with my beloved Sally @clytemenestras at some point if he has time bc he inspired me to even write werewolf draco with his original lesbian werewolf story

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

favorites are hard for me? I always think I'm currently doing my best writing lol so I'll say drarry

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't post fics unless theyre finished, so I don't have any WIP up on AO3, but I did intend to continue with my fem Sherlock Holmes series, Your Many Tendencies. I just haven't been in a Holmes mood for a long time. Maybe I'll come back to it idk. This particular series is honestly very unpopular? People will just straight up say they don't read femslash, and it hurts a lot. This series feels really personal too, bc it's about a Black autistic nonbinary lesbian, so it does hurt my feelings that no one seems to care, yknow? I mean the people who read it are extremely kind and thoughtful in their engagement with it, but it has vastly less engagement than my m/m fic, and that's painful. It gets literally 1/10 the attention my fics usually get.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Almost all of my writing is romance, but I tend to write concurrently about recovery and found family, and I think I'm very good at doing that in a way that connects with my audience. I once had someone ask if they could use my words in their wedding vows, and I've had people tell me they started doing things with their spouse that my characters do with their partners in order to express love. I think about that all the time. My Impact. It makes me feel like I have a real duty to my audience yknow?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

This question is hard for me like I've been writing so long and so much that I'm literally always happy with my final draft! It's always exactly to my taste, yknow? I suppose I could say that my fics tend not to be terribly plotty but so WHAT? That's beside the fuckn point for me. Plot who? I don't know Her. Also honestly like. Stories feel more True to me when they aren't ruthlessly devoted to plot bc like life isn't like that yknow?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If you're not fluent in that language, get a beta who is!!!!! That said, I have written scraps of very simple dialogue in French using mostly Google Translate (sometimes I check w Sally bc he speaks French but I am usually too impatient), and I am perfectly well aware that I take my life in my hands each time!!! Also don't do that bullshit thing where it's in italics? That shit is weird and exoticizing. Just write it in quotation marks like normal dialogue.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

BBCS babey back in 2012. Ended a 5 year dry spell for me after I got my writing degree.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmmmm I think it's probably gonna be the fic I'm working on now that I haven't posted yet, but I know it's called Names for a House, and here's a tiny bit of it

Thanks again Shreya for asking me to do this bc I really love talking about myself. I tag @the-moon-loves-the-sea, @clytemenestras, @tomiano, @gaykagome and @totallysilvergirl

No pressure <3

[phoebe-delia]

Hello phoebe! For the meta ask if you're still doing it: 1, 4, 22 please? 💞

@colormehazelnut, Hazel! Thank you so much for this ask. Yes, I'm still doing the meta asks for as long as people send them in 😂. So thank you for filling my ask box with joy!

1. Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

I have several WIPs going on, a couple of which are the prompts you sent in! (Thanks for those btw I'm so excited to write them for you!) Of course, I'm keeping those a secret for now, along with the other song prompts I've been lucky enough to get from people, so I'll instead say that I'm working on what I *hope* will eventually be my first longer fic. I struggle to write fics longer than 7k, so for this one I'm shooting for at least 10k. We'll see. But I've done a couple WIP snippet posts, combined here for those interested. This one will be post-war. My plan is for it to deal with mental health and finding yourself and learning what it means to be free. It's already one of the more relatable things I've written so far, and I'm excited to push a little out of my songfic comfort zone!

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

Okay, I thought very long and hard about this, and I'm actually surprising myself a little bit with my selection because I often sorta forget about this fic. But it was for the microfic prompt "peculiar" and I was inspired by the lyrics from the song "evermore" by the one and only Taylor Swift. I'm proud of this one because I'd kept trying to think of other ideas for the prompt because I was like "not everything can be based on Taylor lyrics, Phoebe!" But I had no other ideas and finally I just decided to listen to the song on repeat. I sat in the chairs in an academic building while I waited between my classes and just wrote this. When I was done I was like "Welp, here we are!" 😂 CW: depression; the fic does have a happy/hopeful ending tho! You can read the rest here.

Draco couldn’t cry, so he let the sky do it for him. He shivered, soaking it up like the grass crushed under the shirt clinging to him like a second skin. He closed his eyes, imagining that the drops sliding down his face were the tears he couldn’t muster, the catharsis he hadn’t earned.

He spread out his arms and legs, weaving his fingers through the blades of grass. He wondered if he, too, could sink into the earth and intertwine himself with the roots; perhaps they, fibrous and thin yet enduring, could wrap around his veins and grow to his heart to raise the weight from his chest.

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

More often than I'd like to admit 😂. This ends one of two ways: resisting the urge to edit or delete the work, or with feelings of pride in my work.

I'm trying to have a healthier relationship with my stats page. It's strange, sometimes, because there are fics I've written that have gotten more "attention" than the fics I like the best. I can try to reblog/promote a fic over and over that I'm so proud of, but I'll still get likes or comments or reblogs on something I spent 10 minutes on.

I'm trying to realize that the number of likes or kudos or reblogs or comments something has doesn't have to be proportional to my pride in it. My favorite fics of mine aren't always my most "popular" fics, and that's okay. There are fics, like the one I mentioned in question 4, that have been well-received that I'm also proud of from a personal writing standpoint. And then there's also a 7k Gen fic on my AO3 that has 15 kudos that used to drive me crazy because it felt like I'd put all this work into it when "no one" had read it.

I wanted to "fix" it. I wanted to add a Drarry chapter at the end, just to give it more views. I wanted to rewrite the whole thing. I wanted to add more to it in the hopes that someone else would see it.

And then I realized that to do so would be a disservice to the work I put into it initially. I realized that adding something to a story just to make it more "popular" or to get it more attention isn't a good enough reason. I wrote a Gen fic. I wrote a fic that doesn't have Draco in it at all. I wrote a fic where there's no romantic relationship; where Harry and Ginny are friends. And that's okay. I'm still proud of it, of what I accomplished. It was the first fic I'd ever done for a fest, and it was based on something really special to me. And that's enough.

This isn't meant to be a not-so-subtle request to go read it, by the way, 😂. I've been meaning to write a post like this for a while because I know I'm not the only one who's struggled with this. And I just want anyone reading this to know that your creativity has value in and of itself. I'm not going to tell you not to write for others, or not to seek validation. We're all here because we like the way our brains get dopamine from reblogs and comments and kudos on our fics, and there's nothing wrong with that.

But my goal for myself is to notice when I'm getting too wrapped up in the hunt for validation and take a step back and let the fact that I'm using my brain to create be satisfactory. I want to have enough respect for my work as it is that I don't add more to it only because I've let my stats page tell me it's not good enough.

My stats page can judge me when it's written 7k. But until the frankly terrifying AU where AO3 becomes sentient and starts to write fics, I think I'll try to quit letting it affect my self-worth.

Ask me a writing meta question from this list! I’ve already done 1, 3, 4, 6, 8, 17, 20, 22, and 23!

[bisamwilson]

ooooo fic writer asks yis yis! 55! 68! mmm 75! 78!

thanks for the ask, bee <3

55) Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

i have a particular stylistic habit for using lots of em dashes, colons, and semi-colons! also i tend to write sentences that would generally need an "and" but i just connect with a comma instead (e.g. "Sam wonders if maybe he’s feverish, thinks if he has the damn flu it’d be worth catching it to keep Bucky’s warmth near him.")

outside of general writing style, i tend to write a lot more from sam's pov, dealing with any issues or wants sam might have! i have a few bucky pov fics, but even then most of those are pretty focused on sam (except maybe stuck a feather in his hat). bucky calling sam "angel," "sweetheart," and "sammy" are particular staples of mine, same with sam calling bucky "baby"! and also if the fic isn't an au, i tend to set it in delacroix unless i specifically want them away from home, and most of the time they're wanting to get back home then.

68) Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

honestly? there aren't many off the top of my head that i can point to as being a /particular/ influence, tho a lot of napricot's works inspire how i write sam, just because i think we have similar ideas of who sam is. i developed a particular writing style when i was writing for and editing my high school newspaper in like 2016, and obviously i've refined it, but the bare bones of that are still there. a lot of my college papers that i could get away with stylizing read the same as my fic does too!

75) Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect?

is all of them an answer????? lmao! i'm still shocked when people are like "you're one of my favorite sambucky authors!" or "omg as soon as i saw you updated i ran to ao3!" bc asdklfdjs people recognize me??? as a fic writer????? idk i just feel like i'm so new comparatively speaking that that's wild

as a real answer, oh so saccharine bc it blew up on tumblr kind of out of nowhere? like the post for this has like 200 notes or something which is wild!!!!!!!! like 4-8x more than most of my other posts. also people really liked some invisible string tying you to me which shocked me bc i feel v out of my depths with omegaverse

78) What motivates you during the writing process?

i must have Tasks™ in order to thrive and when i finish a fic i have completed An Task™. so mostly it's the arbitrary deadlines i put on myself to finish things, but also the sweet sweet validation of knowing i'll get a comment or two. i pretty obsessively check kudos/hit count/comments/any possible statistics ao3 gives you for a couple of days after posting. (can u tell one of my primary love languages is words of affirmation lmao)

[irageneve]

I don't usually get into this and I'm also on phone so it's possibly to get all messed up plus my shitty English and all

But let me tell you something really quick.

First of all no "well read" person will EVER drag someone down. never. trust me, uncontroled anger issues, the need to tell your unconstructive opinion everywhere and the overal shitty behavior towards another HUMAN BEING is the easiest way the brain can respond when it is in disagrement. simple said a smart person wouldn't do that due principles and education. so please, calling yourself "well read" doesn't give you any goddamn right to be a piece of sh

Secondly, no matter how bad a person is they can improve! by drawing more, by writting more, by enjoying what they're doing. that's just how it is. how? support. a person blooms with support and love, no matter how bad they start it. there isn't always just talent. the talent means 0 if it isn't worked on. I don't know you, OP, as I don't read mysme fiction that often unless the subject really interests me, but you are brave! you are strong! and you don't know me but I am proud of you. don't take any shit and don't let yourself down for some shitty person who couldn't bring themselves up and now just drags others into dirt. (like someone said in the comments - do it yourself if you are that well read)

I hope you will keep writting and pay no attention to those. I'm sick of "smart" people like this.

also, if you ask of my two cents oppinion, using anon (as I just read a post from @snuggsthebunn - sorry for tagging you dear but I reblogged this from you anyway and I just made the connection with your other rant xD-) for hate is just some coward thinking they're cool between 4 walls. Hopefuly I didn''t get hate (at least not yet), the only hate anon ask I ever recieved and responded, I did to explain others that anon hate, on my blog, is a joke.

you want to argue? come and have a dialog, we're civilized afterall aren't we? you want to spend 10-20 min of your very busy and interesting life to write a shitty hate that wil be ignored and would probably make me laugh? very well, use anon. (I love love-anons tho you all rule and when you live bits of love in your requests is just a gold mine for me 💞 I promise soon I'll get to do the last requests I have btw god i really should stop getting into 746537 subjects at once)

baaack on track is that simple to ignore drama, unnecesary anxiety and so on. I know how that feels. look at the bright part! they even made an account just to send you hate, you are really an important subject to them ;D kidding haha but seeing a bit of good in anything will keep your mental state good o/

anyway "quick" for me went in pages lol, I'm sorry. I ramble a lot BUT my fellow MysMe people - don't hate, eat well and love ❤

Thanks!

So I guess this so what happens when I cut anon off of tumblr to avoid harassment: a shittily named fake account blasts my most recent fics to try and get under my skin!

The last comment they left was absolutely so laughable I couldn’t even try to seriously plop it in because it was so stupid.

Gotta love this fandom! Nearly a whole year later and I’m still getting spammed with shitty comments from a nobody that can’t leave me alone, I wonder who it is?

Thanks for your undying support!