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if we get too closе, would it be okay?
hyun-ju x gn!reader - highschool au
summery: hyun-ju came out to her- now ex- girlfriend who spread the rumor around the whole school.
tags: trans/homophobia (the word tr**ny is used one (1) time), bullying, hurt/comfort, lots of fluff i promise, let me know if i missed anything!
a/n: i am obsessed it's not fair. this is pre-t but i'm still going to use she/her pronouns for hyun-ju <3 also english is not my first language and this isn't proof read, so i apologize for any mistake. @exactlyinfp
hyun-ju didn't want to go to school that day. her girlfriend, ex girlfriend now, broke up with her just because she trusted her, because she didn't want to hide anymore and she believed that her girlfriend of almost two years would understand. but she didn't. she called her all kind of names and blocked her everywhere.
she hoped this was where it ended. that they could just ignore each other and keep living life as it is. it would have been so much easier that way. but the moment she entered the school hallway she knew something happened. the looks she was getting were strange, full of hate. definitely not the looks you receive when you just broke up. she tried to ignore it and walked to her class with her head down.
it was early. a lot of time passed before some of her classmates entered the room. maybe it was better if they stayed outside. their chatter died down as soon as they saw her. one of them, who was seated next to her, took his desk and dragged it as far away from her as possible. “you're sick”, he said under his breath. “stay away from me.”
she stayed silent as the realization hit her. if he knew, everyone else did too. fighting tears, she forced herself to keep cool.
slowly people filled the room. everyone ignored her, even her so called friends looked at her with disgust. only y/n seemed to be acting as if nothing happened. maybe they didn't know about it yet. they’ll turn their back to you like everyone else, she thought.
“oh hyun-ju, how are you?”
y/n waited for an answer that never arrived. so, with a sad smile, they spoke again. “it's fine. you don't have to talk with me. you have my number in case you change your mind.”
———
for the rest of the week she ignored everyone. she was barely alive.
every morning she entered school feeling like a criminal. her locker in the changing rooms was filled with insults. some guys even tried to push her on the ground. that was the only moment she reacted. she could ignore words, but physical aggression was were she drew the line.
every night she cried herself to sleep, wishing she had someone on her side, someone to talk to. her family didn't know about what was happening in school and she hoped for it to stay that way or she wouldn't even have a home anymore.
it was on saturday afternoon that she lost it. she was out, getting some groceries for her mother at the local market, and she saw her ex with her friends. she tried to hide before they could notice her, but she wasn't fast enough.
"oh god, isn't that that tranny you used to date?", one said pointing at her.
"don't say that out loud, please. what will people think of me?"
hyun-ju ran away without even taking food from the market stall. she kept running until their voice became indistinguishable echoes.
she sat on the side walk and took out her phone, looking for y/n contact. she started crying, the tears blurring her vision.
their words came back to her. you have my number in case you change your mind. were they serious? she hesitantly called them, hoping for the best.
y/n didn't take long to answer and for that she was grateful.
"hey, you called!"
"i- yes... listen can you, can you come here?"
"oh hyun-ju, you're crying? is everything okay?"
"i don't even know anymore. please, just come here." and with that she hung up the phone, quickly shared the position with them.
she hugged her knees as she waited.
———
y/n was happy that hyun-ju called, even if the situation wasn't ideal. even though they weren't intimate, they cared about her and it made them sad to see her suffer. especially if she was being ridiculed for something beyond her control.
y/n tried to get to her as fast as possible. they went out in their sweats without bothering to put on something nicer. they didn't like the idea of hyun-ju seeing them in that state, but they also realized that they had to put vanity aside at the moment.
as soon as she saw y/n she got up and hugged. they remained in that position for a while. hyun-ju cried and cried while y/n rubbed her back, doing what they could to comfort her.
"sorry... i don't know why i did that", she said as she let go of them.
"you don't have to apologize. do you feel better now?"
"i do, thanks."
an awkward silence fell until y/n suggested they start walking with a wave of their hand, "do you wanna talk about what's happening?"
"i just want to forget about it. can we talk about something else?"
"oh sure", y/n looked at her and smiled. "do you wanna hear about this manga i'm reading?"
a/n: i realize that for an xreader the reader is barely there 😬 sorry. let me now if you liked it!!
#squid game#squid game x reader#cho hyunju#hyun ju x reader#hyun ju#hyun ju squid game#x reader#squid game x you#squid game x y/n#squid game season 2#🦑:sg
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I'll follow you until you love me
Having actor Gojo as your fan isn't for the weak
Tags: smut, mdni, f!actress reader, actor!Gojo, dark themed, stalking, obsession, jealousy, fan boy Gojo, mind games, lots of lies, manipulation, panties stealing, making out, fingering, oral (f receiving), drunk s(e)x, dubious content, people are shipping you and Gojo, fear play, just me going over the top again,
Author's note: thank you for 100 flowers 🤗 I been working on this fic for a while and was waiting for a specific occasion to post it.
Masterlist
The first time Gojo Satoru heard about you was a long time ago. He doesn't really remembers the details but he knows he was so done with hearing about you left and right.
Everybody was praising this new actor who appeared out of a blue, and it was getting on his nerves.
Nothing was known about you, you had no connections to the inside world, your name wasn't affiliated with any big names. It was like you were put on the big screen out of nowhere and lend a big role like the director was forced to.
And his feelings only got bitter the moment he met you in person. Walking into his set one day and greeting everyone left and right, remembering names of some crew members he didn't knew they even existed to begin with.
But the cherry on top was when the director, that was known for being a bit too eccentric, presented you with the biggest smile on. Praising you and talking about how the day is so much better with you there. And you, instead of trying to show off, being humble.
He didn't like it. The way you looked so sweet, how you would laugh at the poorly made jokes and how you left just as soon as you appeared, giving him no chance to actually learn something about you. But he does remember how you promised to buy everybody a drink next time you pass by and how you look forward to his movie.
Another one of his fans? Huh? He thought, being disappointed that you'd be much more easier than he hoped.
But he only ended up being disappointed once again, because a week later you appeared on his set one more time. This time with drinks just as you promised, and the biggest smile on your face talking about the role you're auditioning for and how the set is closer to his. Well, you weren't talking to him directly, but the director. But since you were on his movie set you were practically sets neighbors.
Full of himself, he went to you, expecting you to be excited and faint just from seeing him, since you said you were a fan. But instead you looked at him the way you looked at everybody else, the same business smile on that was basically your free pass card in life. Refusing his invitation to drink with him tonight, talking about keeping it professional and how you don't dare to accept since you respect him too much. Fearing that you might do something that would embarrass yourself in front of him.
It was a lie, he quickly noticed the way your face change as you left with your assistant. A blank expression on your face, that smile disappearing, not having to put an act on as you thought no one saw you. But he did, and it got him thinking, spending the next few days searching and looking at any media form that haves your name on it.
Were you actually pretending? Was everybody's sweetheart actually a liar? Did he actually found dirt on you? What is he going to do with this information? Surely you don't want everybody to know about about it, right?
But when he thought he had you, a scandal with your name all over it was the only thing everybody was talking about. How your company was mistreating you and how you finally managed to break ties with them. And it didn't helped that everybody on his set was whining about you not asking for help, and how they noticed your sudden demeanor but didn't said a thing.
Now you had people fighting over you to join entertainment companies. Biggest names arguing about which one was better for you, you even had his company begging you to join them. And now he was stuck with hearing your name once again.
It didn't stopped any time soon, because somehow, miraculously, you decided to sign a contract with his company.
It was like you decided to torture him, play with his mind and lead him on even if you clearly set some boundaries between the two of you. Were you playing hard to get? Because after all those nights awake he learned that you didn't get involved with anyone in the industry. You refused executives after executives, big actors and renowned directors. You would rather get banned from the industry than being known for giving any kind of services or being known as someone's partner.
He didn't knew if he was supposed to be proud or get mad at how stupid you were acting.
But it got him even more invested. And now you had him watching every single thing you appeared in. It could be a small role, you could just appear in the background for a second and he'll memorize the entire movie.
Soon he got bored of that, and he moved into interviews, appearances or just people speculations, the nda you sign or make people sign. He still remembers about that time you got a nobody as your partner and kept him around for a few months. Even so, it didn't changed a thing about his interest in you.
His room was filled with you, pictures, posters, stuff from movies you acted in. His whole house was like this in fact. His closet filled with stuff you wore, you could even find the same products you use in his bathroom.
And the less attention you pay him, the more obsessed he became. Spraying his bed with your perfume every time you went on a date with your little nobodies, sometimes even asking people from your sets about you, not daring to get to close to you so you won't acknowledge him, even if he's dying to get your attention.
Imagine his surprise when you first acted in the same thing. Well, not really because he auditioned for the same movie as you, trying for a role that had it's screentime at the same time as yours. But he didn't really expect to get it. Oh who is he lying to? He called the director and demanded to play by your side, talking about how he wants to try new things and putting a act on so nobody would rat him out.
Just as soon as the roles were revealed to the public, he even hired a few people to post about the two of you online. But he did got hit by surprise from the amount of people that actually shipped you two. It got him giggling and kicking his feet, staying up and reading comments about how you looked together.
And you seemed to feed into fans delusions, interacting with him more and putting on a more friendly facade, like you were actually friends behind close doors.
Even if it was fake, he liked it. The attention you gave him, the way you finally look at him right in the eyes with more than just your business smile. How you sit close to him at interviews, your legs almost touching. And how you would joke with him when people were looking, actually trying to get to know him.
The promotions ended sooner than he'd like, and now he was alone once again.
He should have let go of you, it been already two years since you two acted together, and he did in fact almost forgot about you. His house was finally you free, not a single thing that represented you in any way in sight. And he been clean for the past few months, finally going in public and acting like old him.
That was until a movie director contacted him, wanting him to be one of the main characters in this action movie he's making. And his costar? You. You would play his love interest. He can't really remember what he said after that, but he did ended up with the role, now reading the script with great attention, trying to picture how your scenes would be.
The romance scenes weren't enough, the fans would want to see more, he said while talking to the director, convincing him to add more. And that's how you ended up with some really unnecessary spicy scenes. Making out in the bathroom, somehow fucking each other on his bed, lots of kisses and the sexual tension should be felt the entire movie.
"Director, can I talk to you?" you said when you visit the set for the first time.
"Did something happen?" the older man looked at your concerned face.
"I received the new script." you said, holding the papers in your hands. "Are all the new scenes really necessary? It's supposed to be about fighting for justice, not a romance movie." well, you were right. But the white haired man happened to pay for the movie's budget out his own pocket.
"It would reach to a larger audience." but were the sex scenes really necessary? You looked at Gojo, trying to communicate telepathically with him. "Don't worry, I'm sure everything will be fine." the director said, ending the discussion there.
This wasn't just about you, it was also about your coworker and about how he feels. You had to pull him to the side and talk to him, you didn't want any hard feelings or to end up with a twisted relationship because of a stupid movie. "You sure you're alright with the new scenes?" you asked, looking at the tall man as he seemed to hold back something.
"Yes. Why wouldn't I?" he tried not to smile, happy at the way you seemed concerned about him and his well being.
"The change was out of nowhere and too drastic. I could talk to the director if you feel uncomfortable." you're so cute, he wanted to eat you whole.
"What about you. How do you feel about it?" he knew he went overboard, he blacked out when he made those changes after all. But he personally can't say that he regrets anything.
"It's just acting. Sure, I'm a little unhappy at the changes, but I'm alright with it if you are." god, he was dying to kiss you. He wanted to get to the parts where he could be closer to you, feel your skin against his and have a taste of your lips.
There were a few more weeks of filming until he got to the parts he wanted, and he was waiting patiently. Because he knew that once it started he'll get more than enough of you.
"That's all for today." the director said, finally announcing that it was the end of today's work.
"How about some drinks?" Gojo looked at you talking to your assistant before he looked at the director. "My treat." how could anybody refuse free drinks, especially ones that were payed by the white haired man.
You initially tried to refuse, looking at your assistant for a confirmation before you accepted. And that's how you ended in a bar with almost everybody on the set.
You let yourself to get losen for once, forgetting about the image you carefully builded and drank. You had your assistant there in case of anything, which you trusted a bit too much. But even so, you're just happy that you could drink, enjoy the company of others and feeling like you're just another person in there not just a big name actress.
And perhaps you enjoyed yourself a bit too much. Because people started leaving and you didn't felt like doing the same just yet.
It was just you, your costar, the director and your assistants in there in the end, it wasn't that bad.
"I'll call the car for us." your assistant let you know as they stepped outside for a moment.
"Our car is here." the director's assistant said, making the old man get up and leave. Now it was just you, your costar and his assistant that was nowhere to be seen.
"I'm kinda glad I'm doing this with you." you said, barely able to keep your eyes open. "I hear people talking about you all the time, and they all say how good you are." he stared at you with an expressionless face, still trying to think of what he should do next.
"Why don't we go outside for a moment? Take some fresh air." he wasn't prepared for a love confession just yet.
"Alright." you grabbed his arm, letting your body lean into his. He was sweating, his heart was beating so fast that he doesn't know what to do.
"T-then." he gulped, walking with you towards the back door of the bar. Good thing he reserved the whole place, because he doesn't know what he would have done if anyone saw you in that situation.
He placed you against the wall, sitting back next to you and letting you rest your head against his shoulder.
"Your hands are so big." you said, taking his hand in yours and comparing sizes. He was quiet, he just stared at you, his mind in a million places as he tried to figure out if this was some kind of hint or it was all in his head. "You're big in general." you looked up at him, blinking a few times and making him look away, a hand over his face as he tried to control his facial expression.
"It's nothing." he almost bite his tongue.
"I was a bit scared at first, but I'm glad we're in this together." seriously, are you trying to provoke him? "Let's work together in the future as well." if you weren't leading him on then he doesn't know what this is.
The way you look at him, and how you smile. It wasn't your work smile, you were genuinely smiling at him, heck, even your eyes were smiling. If this wasn't you telling him how much you want him then he really went crazy.
He lowered his head, taking another look at your face before he kissed you. At first it was something simple, just his lips touching yours for a second before he backed away. But the way you looked at him made him get closer. Those eyes of yours, having something that looked like sparkles in them. A fire that never seems to calm down, the heat that made him fall for you in the first place. Who can blame him that he kissed you again? Trapping your body against the wall, making you to wrap your hands around him, welcoming him in your warmth even more.
He let out a moan, looking at you with something lustful in his eyes and a smirk on his face. He looked dangerous, like he finally let go of that prince charming facade, showing you what he actually is.
You looked surprised, like you actually never expected him to act like that. Did you really thought that he's usually that sweet? How cute. He could play with you for a little longer, show you what he's actually capable of.
He bite your lip, looking straight into your soul as his kisses traveled to your neck. He sucked on your skin, placing a soft kiss on it before he sinked his teeth into it, making you to let out a gasp. He needed to leave his mark on you, because who knows when else he could.
He couldn't stay away from your lips for long, and now he's back on devouring you, filling the back alley with the sounds you make. "Come home with me." he tried to say, not wanting to get away from you.
You didn't respond, not because you didn't heard him, because trust me when I say you heard him loud and clear. It was more about what will happen after that, and your moral code. You'd rather die than get involved with anyone in the industry, and yet look at you still refusing to let go of him.
"Y/N, you're here?" you could hear somebody on the other side of the door. It was your assistant, probably looking for you to go home.
"Let go." you quietly moaned into his mouth. The door open, making you to push him away, looking at your assistant who had no clue of what's going on. "Is the car ready?" you felt like you sobber up, it's like you didn't touched a single drop of alcohol.
"It just arrived." your assistant looked at the actor next to you and then at you, not knowing if they should walk away or take you to your car.
"Alright." you left him in that alley, not even looking back at him for a single moment.
He had that look again, he's about to do something you'd both regret, or more like you won't like it. Because if he's shameless enough to do it, do you think he'd actually feel a little bit of remorse?
The next day you woke up with hundreds of text and missed calls, and your head killing you. And when you looked at your phone all you could see is people sending you the same article.
Two big stars making out in the back of a bar. Is this the start of a romance story?
Huh? What are these people talking about? Curious, and having no idea why people were sending it to you, you clicked on it. And you were welcomed with your name all over it, alongside Gojo's.
All you can do is cry. How drunk were you last night? You have to apologize to your costar. How could you have been so stupid? You can't believe yourself for doing such a mistake.
"Do not believe everything you see" you posted something on your social media. Trying to calm down the crowd somehow. You have to talk to your team about this since you have absolutely no idea how to handle it. For the moment it it was better to deny it then resolve this issues with Gojo's team.
Speaking of the wolf, you haven't checked on his social media yet.
You went on his profile, and instead of trying to take control over the situation he was putting more wood on the fire.
"Since everybody knows we don't have to hide anymore" you looked at his post in disbelief.
"???" you comment. Looking at your screen in disbelief at the way he was liking comments about how the two of you looked good together.
"Hi :)" he replied to your comment, making you even more confused. Was this a strategy for the movie? I mean, it wasn't a bad idea since you are his character's love interest.
Perhaps this was all an elaborate scheme that you weren't aware of just yet. That thought made you calm down. The internet was doing otherwise.
There were people who were genuinely happy about this, talking about how they knew it. Hell, you got other stars talking about how they always seen your interactions and they knew something more was going on. The fact that you didn't seen a single hate comment made you put questions, but who knows. You might see them sooner or later.
From that moment on, you didn't had a single peaceful time on set. Now you have people acting like your a married couple when nothing was going on between you and Satoru. But he seemed fine, in fact, he looked happy with the way people are treating you now.
He left his mark on you and you didn't even knew it. It was fine, even if you didn't looked at him as a potential partner, yet. It was alright. There was more than enough time. There's no rush, especially when he knows how to get rid of competition. Just like he got rid of your assistant for interrupting you at the bar, he can get rid of everybody that dares to get in his business.
"You're free later?" he came to you when you were on set, making people start whispering between themselves and giggle.
"Not really." you looked tired, if he knew you'd end up like this without an assistant he would have got you another one first.
"If you ever need my help let me know, I'll help you with anything." he means it, even if he looks like he doesn't. He will walk through fire if you tell him to.
"I'm just looking for a new assistant, don't worry." people were speculating that the assistant was the one who leaked about your so called relationship, but it was far from the truth. But the fact that they refuses to talk to you was confusing, even if it was your assistant who did that, why would they suddenly quit and go no contact? And what was more confusing was the fact that the only text from them was a screenshot of what you posted. Don't believe everything you see. What does that means? Was somebody bullying them? Then why wouldn't they tell you?
Now you couldn't help but be hesitant about chosing a new assistant. What if they end up having the same fate? Some people can be really mean and you don't want anyone to suffer because of you.
So, for the next few days you refused to even talk about your current situation. Only having your manager by your side and not trusting anyone that got too close near you.
He haves a limit, you should know that. How much longer he should wait for you to finally notice him?
This only made someone jealous, and a little angry. You don't want his help, even after what happened at the bar, you act like there was nothing you should talk about.
You should have went to him, jump in his arms and cry about how your assistant left you. But no, instead you chose to overwork yourself, still be the same kind actress that people loved and still giving him no attention.
So, he wrote you a letter. It was nothing more than his current thoughts and about his not so healthy love that was masked as 'admiration'. Shoving into your bag when no one was looking.
You were still on set when you were reading the letter, thinking it was made by one of the staff who happened to be your fan. You didn't really payed too much mind about it, finding it cute and putting it back where you find it after you were done with it.
Did you liked it? Should he write another one? Or did he went too overboard?
Do not believe everything you see, those were your own words and yet you were ignoring them. That letter did made your day, thinking that maybe you're just overthinking about your current situation. There were bad people out there, but there were also good guys. Why were you letting one bad incident ruin your mood?
A few days later you appeared at the studio with an unknown person next to you, you finally got a assistant. And this time you're planning on doing better than you did last time. Or so you thought.
You woke up with another letter, the same handwriting and the same sweet words written on it. This time was more about you than your so called fan, about how you should take more care of your health, how you got people worrying about you. But unlike last time, this letter had a signature on it, an S, nothing more, just a simple symbol.
How cute, S for secret, right? You giggled.
Do not believe everything you see. Really, do not. But for a moment you allowed yourself to be delusional, to think that the world wasn't that bad. I mean, even if there was someone who didn't appreciate you, you still had millions of fans and there are a lot of people who supports you.
And you decided to be more humanitarian, to step up your game and follow your costar's lead. One time after everyone was done with work you announced that you want to take everyone out for drinks, your treat. No one was crazy enough to refuse, especially you.
So, you called a friend of yours who owned a restaurant, the food is great, plus they also had a bar. And off you were.
Just like last time, you ended up all alone in that place with your coworker, laughing at his silly jokes before you finally got up to pay for tonight's feast.
"Your back?" you asked, feeling someone behind you and thinking it was your assistant. But to your surprise, it wasn't. It was the white haired man who seemed drunk, and maybe he was from the few drinks he had that night.
He leaned into you, trapping you between the empty receptionist desk and him. He kept looking at you, eyes half open as he seemed to want to say something.
Your mind was wandering for a moment, moving your eyes on his full lips before looking up at him. Every sane person would have done that, I mean, he was eye catching even in that state.
"You're alright?" you sounded concerned, and for a moment he actually thought you cared about him. You looked around the empty room for a moment, looking for any other people in there, but for his assistant more specifically.
"Don't leave me." he got his face closer to your ear, whispering in a low voice, and placing his hands on either sides of your body, trying to get his body more closer to yours.
"Come." you tried to get on of his hands away, so you could move.
"Where?" he only got clingier.
"Let's sit down. I'll get you some water." the last thing you want to see is headlines with your name all over them, talking about taking advantage of him when he's such a state.
"Noo." he whined, resting his head against your shoulder. "Don't want to." you sighed, looking around the room once again, trying to see if anyone from his team is still there.
"I got the bill ready." the cashier came back, only to freeze in place and look at you and your costar hugging, or what it seemed like a hug.
"I'll pay for it as soon as my assistant comes back." you said, trying to act like you're not being suffocated by this mountain of a man. The poor girl ran back from where she came from, leaving you alone with Satoru again. You sighed, you could only sigh as you put a hand on his back, making him break character for a moment as he jolted under your touch. "You can be such a big baby sometimes." good thing that you can't see him, because he was grinning from ear to ear.
"What happened to you?" your assistant finally appeared, looking at the scene you two were putting.
"He's drunk." you said as you rubbed his back with one hand, the other resting on his side, to keep him in place from falling. "Have you seen his assistant?"
"Not since the director left." your assistant got their phone out. "I'll give them a call." you're so thankful that you overcame your fears, because you don't know what you would have done alone in a moment like this. "They turned their phone off." you looked at the man in your arms and shook your head, disappointed at how this turned out.
"Call his manager, or anyone from his team." maybe he was the one who needed a new assistant, not you.
"No one is answering their phone." you understand that it's late at night, but who could just leave a big movie star like Gojo out here without a single thought about it. "What do we do? There's a hotel nearby, we could get a room for him there." that wasn't a bad idea. However, neither you or your assistant would look good if you leave him there. I mean, someone will have to get in the hotel with this world famous actor, who's face is known by everybody. He clearly drunk, and there would 100% be someone who will post something online about it and you'll get backlash for it.
"Let's take him to my place." that was the only option you had left. He started rubbing his face against you when you said that, letting out a groan and letting more of his weight into you.
"You're sure about that?" your assistant asked, not sure how to respond to what you just said.
"He'll sleep in a guest room. It's better than a hotel." your imagine had to come first after all.
So, without any more words said, you took him to your car. Even if he was heavy, he was surprisingly easy to move around. Well, he did followed every single of your move voluntarily, refusing to let go of you in any way possible.
That until you got to your house, dragging him inside when your assistant left, and leading him to a room relatively far from yours.
You pushed him in bed, taking off his shoes and trying to get him comfortable in bed. You didn't even dared to get close to his clothes, just putting the blanket over him and then leaving him in there.
You didn't even thought of taking advantage of him, you just wanted him sleep peacefully, to keep him away from anyone who might do something bad to him. After all, you knew damn well the industry you're working in, they'll eat him like wolves if they get their hands on him.
You're just helping out, you don't expect anything in return. But what a surprise to wake up with him in your bed in the middle of the night. He was on top of you, looking at the way the moonlight hit your face, and somehow wanting to bathe in your scent.
You could feel his hot breath on you, and it made you woke up. You didn't looked scared, even if he looked like he wanted to do things you'd rather not think about, you stayed calm. "Why did you leave me?" was he still drunk, or perhaps he was pretending to be? He was a good actor after all, you wouldn't be surprised if this was one of his acts.
He doesn't understands you. If you were the one who jumped in his arms like that he would have devoured you alive. But even after he made sure he could get some time alone with you, you still didn't payed him attention, at all.
"Go to sleep." you looked unfazed, not even taking him seriously.
"Touch me." he was really going to lose his mind. He was serving himself on a plate to you, and you didn't even dared to take a bite.
"You're drunk." you'd always try to do the opposite of what he's saying.
"I'm not." you knew he was pretending from the start too, didn't you?
"That's what a drunk person would say." you were getting on his nerves.
In a moment of panic, he took your hand in his, kissing your palm, closing his eyes and looking desperate as he tried to show you how he's feeling. You didn't even bat an eye, looking at him expressionless and like you didn't believed a word be was saying.
"Why don't you like me?" he had to confront you, or else this will take him nowhere.
"It's not that." he got the wrong idea, but it wasn't your job to explain yourself when he only understands what he wants to understand.
"Then? Why do you keep avoiding me?" you shook your head.
"I want us to keep it professional." you're making him laugh.
"We weren't professional when we kissed." that's another story. "So you just used me and now you'll let me hanging like this?" he really didn't wanted to listen to you unless you said something he wants to hear. "Make it up to me." what a fucker. "I want something in return for what you did." he's talking like he didn't started it last time.
"What do you want me to do?" you really can't believe him and his stupid demands. This should have been a payback for last time. Taking care of him even if he wasn't your problem to begin with.
"Kiss me." he was waiting for your response. "Like you mean it." you just said you want to keep it professional, but it's like he didn't even heard it.
"Can't I do something else?"
"Post a picture of us." that was even worse. Who knows what people would say if you do that. You'd really be branded as his, and it was a pain in the ass to deal with it.
You grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him closer to you, giving him a kiss that he'd remember. A wet kiss that it filled the room with sound, and your tongue in his mouth dancing with his. You even wrapped your hands around his neck, making sure he doesn't back down and take back his words.
He moaned, his hands trying to get under your shirt to feel more of your skin. But you didn't let him to do anything because you ended the kiss, breathing heavily and looking at him a bit angrily. "What now?"
"Bite me." kissing wasn't enough, he wanted you to eat him. Bite him, devour him in any way you could so that way you could have a piece of him with you.
"I'm not-" he kissed you, this time pinning your hands above your head so he could explore you more freely. Every time you tried to say something he'd bite your lip, making you groan and continued to kiss you.
"Touch me." he moaned, finally getting his mouth away from yours so you could breath. He took his shirt off, tossing it somewhere in the room and taking one of your hands in his, placing it on his crotch so you could feel how hard he was. He looked at you, at the face you made and how you didn't looked happy to be in that situation.
"It's too soon." you still refuse to get involved with your coworkers? What does he haves to do to prove to you that he means every single word he's saying?
"Do you really not like me?" he wanted you to be at least a little interested in him. It was no fun if he's the only one with big feelings in there.
"It's not that." it's your moral code.
"Do you ever think of me?" you didn't respond to that, only looking down at your hands amd trying to avoid eye contact.
"I'm not ready." you finally open your mouth to say something. "If we do this then nothing will be the same. We still have work to do, I can't simply just do it." so it was because of work? He already knew that, but at least you didn't dislike him.
"I get it." he said, getting off you and sitting down in bed. "Just go to sleep."
"You can sleep here if you want, I'll go somewhere else." you tried to get out of bed, but he dragged you back.
"Just because we're not fucking that doesn't mean we can't sleep." he will not let this night go without doing something. And just being able to feel your body against his as he sleeps is more than enough. Trust me when I say that this will drive him crazy for many days from now on.
The way you stay in his arms, and how he's able to shield over you. You really have no idea what power you hold onto him.
Do you regret bringing him in? A little. You hate giving people false hope, and he seems to ignore all your signs of displeasure. He did grew up in this environment after all. Being rich and famous from a young age, he haves no idea how to react when people tells him no, he can't handle rejection. And it seems that he always got what he wanted.
He didn't had to put on an act if he wanted to be around you. You could be friends, if he wanted. But nothing more, you wouldn't dare to be something more than acquaintances. You just work together, and are signed under the same entertainment company. You were nothing more than cash cows. You were the biggest stars of your agency, and you seemed to be pushed under the spot light as much as possible. He must understand how you feel, no?
He in fact didn't. And unlike you, he had more control over his actions. You could even say that the agency was afraid of him. He did come from a big family of stars, he had so many connections that even he can't say for sure how much power he was holding. But it was no joke when someone says he's the strongest.
So how can you reject him like that? Leaving him alone in that bed without blinking twice. But perhaps it was for the best, because he could finally rearrange his thoughts and think of what he should do. Retreat wasn't an option, I mean, how could he step back when he basically was in paradise?
This place smells exactly like you, leaving a sweet taste on his tongue and making him salivate while bathing in your scent. Should he steal something? You shouldn't tell him twice, because he got up the bed and starting looking around the room. He should pick something small, that you wouldn't notice. And even if you do notice, what will you do? He's shameless, you'll only give him a reason to get off to later when he's alone.
He should get something practical, that would help him during hard times.
And that's when he saw it, your closet. Something in his perverted mind suddenly lit on, and he went straight for your panties. There's so many to choose from, so many colors and models. He wants to take all of them home, put them on display right at the entrance so he would be greeted by them every time he comes home. In the end he picked one of the prettiest pair you own, shoved it in his pocket and went back into your room.
He gained more than he expected. Perhaps he should play drunk more often.
He got his shirt back on and got out the room. You couldn't possibly just left him in there all alone. And he was right, because he found you in the kitchen, sitting peacefully and taking a sip of some unknown liquid from a cup. "You're up?" the way your voice was still husky, your hair messy and your shirt falling off your shoulder. You said you didn't wanted him and yet you're trying to seduce him, how does that come?
He didn't open his mouth, only getting closer to you and taking the cup away from your hand, drinking from it without a single worry of what it might be.
It was tea, not so sweet, still warm and somehow hitting just right. "If you wanted some you could have said so." you said, getting up and walking towards one of your cabinets, getting out another cup and pouring some tea in it. "Here."
"I'll drink from this." he preferred your half empty cup rather than a full one? What a weirdo.
"Do you want to eat anything? I still have some leftovers from yesterday. I also think I still have some jam left, we could eat it with toast." stop showing him your caring side. He really doesn't know for how much longer he can keep it like this. This moment felt too intimate, it felt like you two really hooked up last night, and it was messing with his head.
You take good care of him, don't you? Offering him some of the biggest clothes you own so no one would suspect a thing, giving him a ride back to the studio. And now acting like you don't even know him. Stop being so cute, it only makes him want to bite you.
"You're here today?" the director said, looking at the two of you who got there at the same time.
"Don't we need to be here for a costumes check?" you clearly remember your assistant telling you to come back and do a last minute fit check.
"It's tomorrow." the white haired man said, wrapping his arm around yours.
"Why didn't you told me?" he was enjoying this too much, all a smile as he was trying not to react at your expression.
"I thought you were taking me home." you didn't even knew where he lives.
"Just go, you love birds. You clearly have better places to be at." the director laughed, making you look in disbelief at him. Love birds? Who?
"Come on, let's go back." Satoru didn't let you say a thing and dragged you out of there.
All he needs to do at the moment is keep people away from approaching you. And it's not hard, at all. Just standing next to you, flash a smile and say something that could be interpreted in wrong ways. He doesn't even need to try to make people run.
"Seriously, why didn't you tell me?" you said when you got back to your car. "Now I look stupid." you looked so gloomy, he was going to eat the pout of yours.
"I thought you knew." he'll get you even more confused about things if it means he'll see you like this. It gave him a false sense of security, like you were finally accepting him.
You sighed, not wanting to let out your anger on him. "Let me drive you home." it would be bad if more people sees you together. And at this point you don't trust anyone to come near your home to get him.
What a joke.
The next day you woke up with people blowing your phone again, and another article of your name next to his, talking about everything you did in public. Your interactions at the bar, how he was spotted at your house where he didn't left until the next morning, and about how you always look lovey dovey at the sets.
The filming progress just started and yet there were already rumors all over the internet about how you two would end up being more than just coworkers by the end of that movie.
Who keeps writing this? Seriously, it was getting on your nerves. And the fact that Satoru kept feeding delusions to the fans wasn't helping.
All this hype around the movie wasn't supposed to be only about you two, the main cast. It was supposed to be about all the production. The set, the visuals, the acting and the script, everyone's hard work. You should have turned down the offer as soon as you heard who your costar would be. But you didn't see any of these coming, so who can you blame?
Things only seems to get worse, because when you stared filming again, you got assigned with a new task.
"So, we're filming what were doing behind the scenes?" you asked, looking at the small camera that one of your coworkers was holding and then at them.
"The director said it would be fun. Giving people a little preview of what's going on." well, it didn't sounded that bad. People seems to enjoy behind the scenes footage in general, letting them see a bit of the actors lifes.
"I see." if the director said so, then you guess you don't really have a saying in this.
"We started already?" the white haired man appeared next to you out of nowhere, resting a hand on your head and leaning into you.
"Satoru, say hi to the camera." the actor said, moving the device to his face.
"Oh right, Y/N." there was a hint of his evil plan in his voice, already knowing you'd be pissed with him. "Are my clothes still at your place? I think I forgot them there." you really couldn't control your expression in that moment, looking at him like he killed somebody.
"What?" your voice was shaking, still not over the fact that he would say something like that in this situation. "Why would they be at my house?"
"I changed there last time. I think I left the clothes on the couch before we left."
"Ohh~" the other actor said, making you to look at them, somehow begging them to not get the wrong idea. "I see you're busy. I'll let you be, I won't interact."
"No, wait. It's not what it seems." it was already too late. "Why would you say that?" because he knew the director loves drama, and this would end up being published sooner or later. He was killing two birds with one stone. Doing a favor for the movie's publicity and showing the world that he already been in places some wouldn't even dare of dreaming of.
"People love things like these." he wrapped his hands around you, resting his chin on your head. "Hug me, the camera is in our direction." if it was or not, he couldn't care less. He just wanted to feel your touch in that moment.
It only got worse and worse the moment you started filming the sex scenes. The scenes were like a reflection of your own actions in real life, because everything started with a drunk kiss at a bar. Then ending up in his apartment where you were eating each other in the hallway.
It was supposed to be acting, the kisses didn't even needed to be real and yet he's not even holding back, touching you in all kind of inappropriate places, groping you shamelessly like there aren't cameras all over the place.
He pinned you against the sturdiest wall in there, making you wrap your legs around him as he kept biting and kissing you all over the place. At this point, you don't think the editors would need any sonds effects for your scenes. Because you realized how filthy those sounds were, and loud. Every time you kissed it was echoing in that empty place, the small setting that was supposed to represent a house wouldn't be enough to muffle the sounds.
He bite your lip when he realized your head was in a complete another place. How dare you ignore him in moments like these. You couldn't run even if you wanted, because you'd have to come back to him and film everything from the start. Or perhaps he could make you screw up on purpose, to retake this scene so he could touch you even more.
"Wait." you tried to stop him when you felt his hand under your shirt, trying to unclip your bra.
"What?" he said out of breath, taking his lips away from you for a moment so he could look at you.
"Let-" you looked away, too embarrassed at the way he was looking at you, his pupils were dilated and he looked like he would really put his dick in you if it wasn't for all these people in there. "Let me do it." his lips were back on yours while his hands were trying to take your clothes off.
Both of your clothes were all over the place, and you know it would be a pain in the ass to pick them after. He was too focused on this, the way he looked like he couldn't see anyone but you, like you were really alone in his house.
That's the beauty of acting, no? How some could get so focused on the plot, acting like their character is supposed to and forgetting about the outside world. But he wasn't acting in that moment. Maybe you were, but he taking this very personally. And the fact that you were holding back moans, refusing to touch him more than necessary and trying to stay in your character was infuriating him. It wasn't his character that makes you feel good, it was him.
He ended up throwing you in the bed a little harder than he intended, his touch becoming rougher and his kisses even wetter than before.
Good god, it's good that the scene ended soon after you two got to the bed, or else you would have lost it. You're already soaking wet, you have no idea what you would have done if this kept going for too long.
The scene was perfect, as much as you're embarrassed about it, it was pure perfection. Not a single time did the director called cut, you didn't had to retake the same scene from another angle. Nothing was said about your so called acting besides that you were in complete sync.
He's taking revenge on you, isn't he? Because even now after you finished your scenes for today, he looked at you with the same hungry eyes. And you swear you didn't mean it, but it made your pussy clench.
You gave him a quick look, squeezing your thighs together for a moment when he looked back at you.
It was something that he never saw before, the way you act. That expression on your face, pouting and looking at him with this thing in your eyes that made him want to drag you somewhere far away from people. You needed him, didn't you? And he was going to help you if you asked him to. Because if he got you in that state, then he also had to resolve your problem.
But you didn't spoke to him, you just looked at him all needy for a moment, like you wanted his touch back on you and then left, leaving him with the worst bonner he ever got in his life. This, only to come back a few days later for your next scenes.
You were driving him insane. And there aren't enough interactions in the movie to take out his frustration on you. There are too little scenes, and sometimes he had to improvise when he was getting too lost in his feelings. A few kisses here and there, just a quick peak when you were in the background to give more life to the movie.
But you still didn't said a thing, acting like this was all part of the script, like you were payed to do so.
So can you blame him when he wrote you another letter again? This time more aggressive than the previous times. Talking about how you got him feeling, how he craves for your touch and it drives him insane the way you seem not to care. Give him attention, or act like you acknowledge him. And this time he left the paper in your dressing room, placed under one of your stuff where he knows you'll know it was meant for you.
Too bad he couldn't see your reaction when you read the letter, but he realized you weren't too happy about it. It got you acting paranoid again, he could see it in your eyes, your body language. How you need to have a bit of distance from anyone that tries to come too close to you, and how you seem not to trust people anymore.
It was just a letter, he didn't even wrote everything down. No, in fact, he held back a lot. Because if he did wrote his mind you would refuse to come back into the movie set ever again.
But that's your charm, I guess. How you don't hide your feelings, and how you try to not make it obviously that you're displeased with things even if it's written all over your face. You're a good actress, a very good one, and yet you don't act unless you're required to. You were the opposite of him, where he always haves a mask on, the same business smile as you. But unlike you, he doesn't mean an thing, this friendly facade.
You were genuinely a sweetheart, while he only acted as he sees fit. And in this moment he's so close on fucking everything up just to toy with you. Because he's at his limits.
It was time for another suggestive scene, the set being filled with less people than usually. The lowlights, the atmosphere and everything in there was a bit suffocating. But maybe because of how much you overworked yourself these days.
"Do you think the plan will work?" you asked, sitting on his couch and looking at the coffee table that was placed there by the staff members.
"Do we have any other option?" he said his line in a serious tone, his character was supposed to be stressed from all the unfortunate events that happened lately, but it seems that he too is stress. Well, everybody been working overtime lately, but the sooner you were done with this movie the sooner you could move on with your life.
"I wish we could resolved this peacefully, I'm tired of fighting." you sighed, looking at your fingers for a moment and then at him who was resting not so far from you on the couch.
"Come here." he pat his lap, his back resting against the couch and he didn't even wanted to move an inch from there. He was improvising again, he was supposed to get up and drag about bottle of alcohol into this.
You followed his instructions, not wanting to pretend to be drunk again, and somehow not wanting to act in that moment too. If he haves a better idea for this scene then you'll follow his lead.
So, you sat on his lap, legs spread on either sides of him and wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands resting on your hips, moving towards your ass as he grabbed you and dragged you closer to him, your chest pressed against his as he placed you over his hard cock. You could feel him through his pants, and for a moment you stopped functioning, not knowing how to react to this.
"Well figure it out." he kissed you, his hands going under your shirt to make contact with your burning skin.
The kiss was so sloppy, both of you too tired to figure out a pace you should go at. Just touching, getting lost in the way your bodies seem to welcome each other openly. For a moment even forgetting where you actually are at the moment, and if the director wouldn't have said cut, you could have definitely escalated things.
What was going on in your mind? How could you let yourself so carefree? If you was just a bit more tired and at a state where you couldn't think properly, you would have definitely dragged him to your changing room and fucked him there.
And you woke up with another letter, even worse than last time. Talking about how your body looks, how he wants to get his hands on you, how you turn him on in the worst way possible.
The more you ignored those letters, the more they came. It got so bad, describing his fantasies, the way you appear in his dreams to haunt him like he wasn't haunting you right now. You had no idea who the sender was, because sometimes the letters would be sign as S, sometimes they would just be filled with nothing but filthy words and no signature. But you knew it was the same person from their handwriting.
You'd always wake up with them in places where there aren't many people allowed. And no matter how hard you're thinking about, you can't figure who it was. There were no cameras in this side of the studio, so you couldn't even see who was tormenting you.
"Why don't we go drinking tonight?" the director said one time before you were almost done with work fot that day. "We're almost done with filming, lets celebrate." after all these stressful days, you could use a drink.
It will be quick, go there, have a chat with a few people, have a drink and then go home. But just like last time, one drink turned into too many and you ended up in a corner of the bar with your costar who seemed to feed you even more alcohol.
He had his chin resting against his palm, looking at you with a smile on his face as he kept pouring more of that bitter liquor into your glass. "I can't drink no more." you couldn't even speak properly, hiccuping and moving left to right, like you were about to fall off your chair.
"One more won't hurt." the bar was still filled with people, so he had to keep himself in place.
"I got the car ready." your assistant came to your table looking at you and then at the white haired man. "I have to take her home, she's already too drunk." maybe he should get rid of this one too. It seems that all your assistants like to get in between his plans.
But perhaps he got a better idea. He took your glass, gulping down everything that was in it in a second before he tried to get you to the car. "Give me a ride too." he got in the backseat of your car, pretending to fall asleep after some time.
Your assistant tried to call anyone related to him, to come pick him up from your house because he seems too drunk to even stand on his own feet. But since no one was answering, they had no choice but to get him in your house, leaving him on the couch before they left.
It was always easy, so damn easy. He couldn't help but laugh. Drunk, him? He never got drunk in his life. Alcohol seems to have no effect on him.
He made his way to your room, getting next to the bed and looking at you sleeping. How dare you be so at peace when he's there? You were panicking all over the place last time he wrote you a letter, crying and refusing to talk to anybody if it wasn't for work. And now you act like you forgot about it.
He stood in place, looking down at you with an expressionless face as he can't think of anything at the moment. He got this far, so what? He could scare you more, give you a reason to hate him but at the same time all he wants to do is stand there all night and look at you.
He took his phone out, taking a quick picture of you before he put it back in his pocket.
He sat down at the edge of the bed, not far from where you're sleeping, looking out the window and then back at you. You had quite a nice view, no wonder you always seem to be in a hurry to come home.
Should he do something mean? Leave another letter in your home to see your reaction the next day. He could put it in one of your pockets and act like he doesn't remember anything besides going to the bar to drink. Maybe even leave the front door open and say some shit about hearing something while he was asleep.
But before he could think of anything more, you extend a hand, grabbing him by his shirt and trying to drag him closer. Like before, he just stood in place, looking down at you who seemed to pull harder. Were you mistaking him for the blanket or something? Unfortunately for you, he won't take off his clothes until you do so.
"Mm." you groaned, opening your eyes to look at the white haired man confused. "Ah.." you rubbed your forehead. "Fuck." that was the first time he heard you swear. "Come here." were you still sleeping? Because he doubts you'd react that lightly to him being there. But you were calling for him, and he wouldn't dare to say no to you. So he got in that bed, getting all cozy next to you and waiting for your next move.
For a moment you just touched him, moving your hand on his face, trying to feel something before it went lower on his body. He stood there, observing your clumsy actions and letting you do whatever you wanted with him. Your hands kept wandering, from his chest to his abs under his shirt, and now you were tugging at his pants, trying to see what you didn't got to see until now.
You were funny, the way you looked surprised whenever you discovered something new about him. "Don't do that." he said when you kept trying to get your hands in his pants.
"I want to see it." you pout, looking at him for a moment before you moved his shirt out the way, exposing his lower abdomen. "If you're as big as it feels." his heart skipped a beat, he couldn't help but cover his face with his hands. Do whatever you want, he'll hold back so you can explore as much as you want. "Ohh!" seriously, he can't even look at you when you make those faces. He was biting his lips so hard, he's afraid he might moan before you even touch him. "Why are you so big? Look at the size." his cock twitched, making you let out another surprised sound.
"Touch it." he said between his teeth, looking at you between his fingers and at what you're doing.
Your eyes moved on his, a serious expression on your face before your eyes went back to his dick. Can you even fit something like this inside you? The size was just ridiculous, but that didn't stopped you from touching it. Moving your hand around and studying like it was the first time seeing a cock.
He was bucking his hips forward in your hand, breathing heavily as he tried to keep himself from touching you. This was the first time you ever showed interest in him, he can't just fuck this up.
"How does it feel?" you asked, looking at the way he throws his head backwards, his chest rising and falling down.
Good, it feels so fucking good. He might go crazy from how soft your hand was. He moaned, not even being able to let out words, or think of a way to respond to you.
"I want that too." you took your hand away, making him to finally look at you as you took your clothes off. Now sitting on top of him, taking his cock back in your hand and trying to take him inside your pussy. But it didn't matter how much you're trying, it was impossible to get at least his head. It hurts, the more you try the more frustrated you became. "It doesn't fit." his dick twitched again. You're killing him, you're saying stuff he didn't imagine you to say, and it was killing him inside.
"I'll make it fit." he pushed you off him, pinning you down into the bed as he got in between your legs, placing kisses on your body as he went lower and lower, until he got to your pussy.
He loved the way you taste, it was better than he imagined. So much fucking better. It was no wander he was trying to devour you, I mean, who knows when he's going to do this again. So he might as well do it until he memorizes your taste.
Your hands went through his hair, tugging at it lightly as you let out soft moans, even cursing under your breath from time to time, letting him know how good you were feeling.
He pulled a few orgasms out of you, loving way too much the way your thighs wrapped around him, or how you're trembling, looking at him with teary eyes and you only seem to want more.
He'll give you more, he'll give you as much as you ask for, fuck, even more. He'll make sure to make you fit him, prepare you so good that you could only fit his cock from now on. He'll give you a reason to keep going back to him.
He got up from between your legs, sitting next to you as he got his hand back to your pussy, slowly pushing two fingers inside and making you gasp. "Is it good?" he whispered in your ear, feeling the way you clench around him. All you did was to nod, looking at him with big doe eyes and leaning more into him, to feel more of his warmth.
"Deeper." you said when he didn't went more than halfway through, moving his fingers at a slow pace that it left you hanging, almost giving you no friction whatsoever.
He kissed you quickly before moving his eyes back on your pussy, resting his cheek against your head. Be careful what you're wishing for, he'll go so deep that you'd feel him in places you never knew existed. It's already hard to hold back, but if you keep provoking him he might let his mind slip for a moment.
So, doing just as you asked him to, he got deeper, curling his fingers upwards and making you squirm. He kissed you again, this time taking no break as he kept bullying your insides, making your walls get tighter around him. How is he going to live without this? How can he go back home and act like everything is normal after this? That's why he couldn't help but move faster, in a irregular pace as he kept stopping from time to time only to go rougher. So you wouldn't get too used to him.
You were a moaning mess, and he seems to only want you to lose your mind, pulling orgasm after orgasm from you, kissing you as he made you turn around so he could do it from another position. He wants to go even deeper, to get back at your words, for requesting unnecessary things when he was going to give you what you wanted anyway.
"One more, come on baby. Give me one more." for how much longer is he going to say that? He's starting to get on your nerves at this point. But in the end, he finally took his fingers out of you. Dragging you closer to him so your back could be pressed against his chest, one of his arms under you head as he kept your hair away from your face, so he could be able to look at you. "You'll fit me now." he whispered in your ear, dragging your hips back and grabbing one of your legs, spreading them apart as he start whispering more filthy words in your ear. "Look at how you're taking me in." he said, waiting for you to say something, but to his surprise, you're long gone into the dream world. Sleeping soundlessly in his arms, like you forgot that he was even there.
He can't believe this. You actually fell asleep. You really dared to fall asleep and leave him there after you dragged him in your bed. The audacity you had. He's going to make sure to give you a hard time tomorrow for this. So, he too fell asleep next to you. A bit hard to do so, but he managed somehow.
The next day you woke up with your head killing you. You shouldn't have drank that much, how could you have been so dumb.
You were about to turn around when you realized that someone was in your bed, a pair of muscular arms around you, and someone breathing into the back of your neck. Your heart stopped working, you froze in place as you saw your soul leaving.
"Morning." a masculine voice could be heard from behind you, and you feared that you knew exactly who it was. He pressed his body into yours, letting you know you were both naked, and feeling his hard cock pressed against your back.
You wanted to cry, you wanted to run from there and not look back for a single moment. How could you have been so stupid, how could you just do that. Just how drunk did you got?
"Don't tell me you're planning on running away." he whispered into your ear, making you flinch. "You dragged me into your bed, put your hands all over me and now you're going to leave me after you used me as you pleased? I had no idea you were that type of person." you whined, because that's all you could do in that moment. What other explanation do you have?
"I can explain." he pressed his cock into you harder, making you yelp.
"Oh yeah?" one of his hands traveled on your body, now going up towards your boobs, making you gasp when he groped one. "You kept me up all night." you cried at his words. "Don't you remember the way you got on top of me? Trying to get my cock inside then crying about how big it is." you closed your eyes shut, trying not to let out another whine from remembering what happened last night.
"I'm sorry.." what else could you say besides that?
"You weren't sorry when you were telling me to go deeper." his hand went down your body, wanting to go in between your legs to spread them again, but you jumped out of bed.
"I'm sorry, alright. I have no idea what got into me last night." you were really planning on running? Don't make him laugh.
"So you really just used me then, huh?" he stood there, in your bed. Half his body being covered by the blanket while the other was all naked, his skin exposed to you and he didn't seemed to me ashamed at all by what happened.
But if you think about it, he was the one who got a bottle of a really strong liquor and dragged you to the corner of the bar, making you have a glass with him. "It's your fault too." his eyes wided, looking at you like he didn't expected to hear that. "I might have dragged you in my bed, but if you didn't liked it you wouldn't have stayed." he smiled, finally letting his mask drop as his body language suddenly changed. He looked more relaxed, a smirk on his face as he uncovered more of his body.
"Come here. Let's continue from where we were." you moved you eyes away from him, not daring to look in his direction as you could see his cock. "Don't be shy now. You weren't last night, so why should you be now?" you're not going to listen to his nonsense anymore. "You don't want me anymore? How sad." he looked at the way you were going to your closet. "I still want you though." you ignored him as you went to get dressed. But you couldn't even do that in peace because he got behind you, wrapping his arms around you, and resting his chin against your head. "You should wear that, it looks good on you." he pointed at some dress you had in there.
"I'm not going anywhere today." you want to be comfortable, not dress up for nothing.
"Then wear nothing. I like it when you have nothing on." you could feel that, since he made it sure to let you know he was still as hard as before.
"Here." you said as you picked some clothes that were clearly too big to be on your size. "You can wear this." now that's he's thinking about it, something doesn't add up.
"Why do you have male clothes in your closet?" who else wore these? And you dared to give them to him like it was nothing too.
"I like buying them since they're comfortable." oh, that was an option too. Why didn't he thought of that? I mean, it's been quite a while since you last been in a relationship, and he knows that since he always knows what you're doing. What if he's not paying attention to you one time and you get married? He can't possibly let you do that. That empty spot in your bed was reserved to him. "We needed to talk." you said after you got dressed, getting out your closet and walking outside your room.
"About what?" he knows this moment. You always make people sign an NDA before you get into a anything deeper. But what he doesn't like about your relationships is that it's almost never too intimate, you just go out, eat, spend some time together and then that's it. Did one of those fuckers left you disappointed and now you're avoiding contact with other people? How sad. But well, since you have him now you don't have to think about that anymore. He'll get you drunk on his dick, and he'll make sure you only have eyes for him.
"I'm sorry, but I don't know if we can continue this." huh? That wasn't what you were supposed to say. "We still have to film the movie, and then the promotions. I don't want anything awkward between us."
"What about after?" you didn't said a thing, only looking down at your feet before looking at him. "So you did play with me, huh?" perhaps this was your revenge for making you feel weak. He can't believe you actually knew of his doings and you didn't said a thing.
"If you still feel the same after everything is done.." huh? What did you just said? You were actually going to give him a chance? The NDA still sounded better, and he'll sign it in a blink of an eye if you do hit him with one.
He thought that something would change, that you'd be more open to him. But no, you were still as distant as ever.
You were playing with him, weren't you? You were just playing dumb because you knew how he actually was feeling. Well, he too can tournament you. From that day onward he kept writing you everyday, placing the letters in really inconvenient places and watching your reaction from not that afar if he could.
He made sure to not let you rest a single moment while you were on the set. It did not lasted for long whatsoever, because the filming soon ended and the film was sent to editing, giving everybody a break until the promotions starts.
You skipped the party, lying about how you got a cold and you didn't want anyone else to catch it, so you stayed at home.
You still remember the day the trailer was published, the way your phone was blowing and how you didn't dared to even look at it that day. But when you did turned it on, everything was worse than you imagined.
The trailer opened with a scene of the city, then it got to the point of where the conflict started, and as you watched more, the more scenes from the movie were put in, the fighting, the peaceful times, and it ended with you and Satoru kissing against a wall. A big long scenes of just the two of you almost fucking in there, and you couldn't be more embarrassed.
The comments? You could smell them from a mile away. You could hear screamings and whistles, like you knew exactly what people were talking about. And you were right because when you opened that section you were met with people talking about you and your costar rather than the trailer itself.
"Was the last scenes necessary?" a comment said, and you couldn't agree more to it. But the replies under it said otherwise.
Your social medias? Filled with people purring about you and Gojo. And he seemed to enjoy this as he kept liking comments about the two of you. And now people were officially calling him your husband. He was the one demanding to be called yours, not the other way. Because you weren't his property, he was yours.
You tried to get out the house in god knows how many days, finally going to the agency to talk to your manager about the situation. Can't you calm it down somehow? And the answer was no. The media was responding so positively about this, you couldn't just say something about it when you were put in such a good light. I mean, look, there were so many people requesting for you appearance than any other times before. Your team was busy responding to phone calls and emails for you.
So many people wanted you in their movies, because if they get you they also get Gojo. Since he apparently, you have no idea when, said that he won't act in a movie unless you're there. And if you accepted a role, then they automatically get Satoru too. Killing two birds with one stone. Having two of the most hot actors, who happened to be a so called power couple, acting in their movie was a free pass to the most sold movie of the year.
But you didn't even looked at those offers, no matter how good they were. You don't want to get involved with him anymore, he was only going to bring you problems.
Instead of accepting any offers, you decide to make a quick appearance on some big show that only asked for you to participate. The first thing you heard today that didn't involved Gojo's name into it.
You were so happy to go there, all a smile and stress free knowing that you don't have to get involved with that guy any time soon.
Did you really think that it was going to be that easy? You just got there on the set and you were met with one of the questions you were trying to avoid.
"First of all, I'm a big fan." the host said when you sat down on the couch. "But I don't really wanna say much so your boyfriend won't get jealous." you awkwardly laughed. "How is he, btw?" you had no idea what to say.
"You know." you said, biting your lip and trying to think of an excuse. "We both been busy." you don't even know in what county is he right now.
"I'm sure you are." the interview went on, moving to other discussions and you managed to forget about the white haired man for a moment. "Hold on a second." the host said as they talked to a staff member. "So, um, I was informed about something. And, Y/N, we actually have a gift for you?" how sweet, you thought. Only to be welcomed with your costar on the set, making the audience clap. "What a surprise, right?" you smiled, putting on your same old business smile on as you tried to keep your composure.
"I was nearby and I was thinking why not paying a visit." he lied as he got closer to the couch.
"It's always nice to have you here." the host said. "Please sit down, I actually wanted to ask about the new movie you two played in."
"I'd love to but I'm kinda in a hurry." he leaned down towards you, placing a quick kiss on your cheek and messing with your hair for a moment. "You two have fun." he said as he got away from you. "I have to go now. I wasn't even supposed to stop to begin with." he waved as he left, making the audience sound way too happy about this.
"Relax, no need to be shy." the host said, looking at your expression. "We already saw the trailer, it's nothing we haven't seen already." you wanted to cry. "So, about the movie. Does it have more of those scenes or were we deceived with the trailer?" you'll make sure to pick a written interview next.
"I'm not really sure if I should talk about it.." you tried to change the subject.
"It's not like you're spoiling the movie for us. We're curious about you and your partner." and that's what you don't like.
"Well.." everybody's eyes were on you. "Let's just say that you'll see more." that was enough to make the crowd go crazy.
Because of that guy now you can't even deny that you two aren't together anymore.
You would have been alright with all of this if the nothing happened between the two of you, and if Gojo felt the same way as you. But he seemed to push the idea of something happening between the two of you to the public. It was driving you crazy because you didn't know how to react. You always told yourself that you won't get involved with anyone from the industry, that you'll make a few more movies and then retire, find someone simple and live an almost normal life.
But instead you're here, stuck with media actually approving of this non existent relationship.
You have to talk to Satoru next time you see him. But you never really got the chance to do that in private when the promotions started.
Interview after interview and it only looked like you were surrounded by more and more people. And he didn't wanted to talk to you when you tried to pull him aside, talking about how people will think something inappropriate about the two of you when he was the one who was saying stupid things in front of the camera.
Now it was the premiere, having to stay arm in arm with him the whole time. And he doesn't hold back even for a moment, letting his hands roam around your body and making the crowd go insane.
"Let's talk." you whispered to him, making him lower his head so he could hear you.
"What about?" he was playing dumb, he already knew what you wanted to say.
"Do you have some time later?" you said as you wrapped your arm around his, following his lead as he was guiding you around the red carpet.
"Who knows." he said that, but at the after party you managed to trap him in a corner not allowing him to go away before he had a talk with you. "There are people watching." a smile on his face as he said that, looking at your angry face as you had him pinned to the wall.
"I don't care. You're going to run again." look at how the roles switched. He had no idea you would actually try to confront him.
"Then." he wrapped his arms around you, looking down at you and grinning from ear to ear. "What do you want to talk about."
"People are thinking that we really are in a relationship." your current position wasn't any better either. People were giving you looks like you were being perverts in public.
"They are?" why was he acting shocked when he was the one feeding that idea to others.
"We don't have to pretend anymore." you said, but that only made him to drag you closer.
"You said you'd give me a chance after we're done with the movie." you said a lot of things that you didn't mean, why was this any different.
"I just said that I don't want people to think we're in a relationship. What do you not get?" snap at him more, he can't be any happier than he's at that moment. He leaned down, his face getting closer to yours and placing a kiss on your cheek.
"Keep your promises, don't disappoint me." you huffed, turning your face in another direction only for him to turn it back towards him and kiss you on your lips. "Let's get out of here. It started to get boring anyway." why did you listen to him was a mystery, why you followed him to his car and back to his house was something you couldn't figure it out. And how you ended up in his bed? You can't really respond to that either.
He was kissing you, hands under your clothes and trying to get them off as fast as he could. Moaning into your mouth whenever you touched him, pushing his body into yours and trying to become one with you in a way or another.
How could you think that you could leave him? What would he do if he doesn't have you? What is he supposed to do from now on if he can't think about you 24/7? To even dare to think about abandoning him, he's going to punish you for this.
"Turn around." that stupid dress was in his way, he can't believe your stylist really made you wear this. What if there are fuckers out there who still dares to look at you even after he made it very clearly who you belong to.
Well, whatever. He'll make sure to get rid of that stylist of yours. Not a big problem.
He kissed your back as your skin became exposed to him. With a swift movement taking your panties off and throwing them somewhere easy to spot, to not forget to take them later.
You had to tell him to take his clothes off so you could catch a break, otherwise he would have took you there from how impatient he was.
You just stood there, at the edge of his bed, one leg over the other and looking at him trying to take off his tie faster. He really had to wear a fucking suit, now look at him, he was about to rip it off him. And look at you, you look so calm about this, enjoying seeing him struggle while he was losing his mind. "Undress me." he looked down at you, taking a few steps closer to you, and taking your hand in his and placing over his white shirt to unbutton it.
You might as well do it, you don't see why not. But the problem was him and his stubbornness. Kissing you, almost pushing you in bed while you were just trying to do as he said. It took a long time, and the task seemed to never end, but here you were now, with him on top of you and making you wrap your legs around him. No fancy party could make him miss this, in fact he couldn't even care about that damn premiere to begin with.
His hands were traveling on your body, touching you in some of his favorite places. You were so warm, he couldn't help himself. How you gasp whenever he's groping you, dragging you closer to him so he could feel you even closer, even if there was no more space left between the two of you.
"Put it in already." you demanded, but he wasn't going to just give it to you yet. What if you struggle like last time? He can't let you say such dirty words again or you might not be able to walk at all tomorrow.
"There's no rush." you can act as cute as you want, he's going to take his time with you. After all, you need to see how good he can treat you, make you feel so good that all you'll remember is his name. He kissed your forehead before he moved his eyes on his hand that was going in between your legs. "Look how wet you are." you were a bit embarrassed about it. "And you said that you don't want me." your body can be more honest sometimes, and he'll love to learn more about it.
He got some of your juices on his fingers, moving it around your clit to see the way your body tensed immediately. Weren't you a needy one? He kissed the side of your face before pushing two of his fingers in, paying attention to the face you were making and at the way you were sucking him in.
He moved his hand at a relatively slow pace, it was more about to make you feel the way you're taking him, how deep his fingers can go compared to yours, or anybody else. You can only feel like this because of him. See the way you're still so tight? That's because he wasn't there to stretch you out the way you needed.
"Keep your eyes open, alright baby?" he spoke to you in a baby voice, making you feel like he was mocking you. "Don't hide from me." can't he just fuck you already? Why was he playing around so much.
You did tried to do as he said, keeping your eyes open and trying to avoid eye contact with him because it made your pissy clench. This was so embarrassing, the way he was taking his sweet time and giving you almost no friction at all, and how he seems to enjoy this. Like torturing you was bringing him pleasure.
He didn't let you say a word and smashed his lips against yours, placing his palm against your clit as he finally started to move like he means it. Curling his fingers up so hard it got you squirming and letting out a few moans. And you never seem to stay in place, moving around and arching your back every time he was hitting something that makes you see stars.
You were a mess, the way you were so wet that your juices got on his bedsheets, and the noises your body makes were so obscene and loud it was hard to ignore.
He noticed the way you look at him, pleading for some mercy like you were at your limit about to break. But there was so much more in you, one orgasm wasn't going to stop him from giving you another. And he swears on his name the next one will be even mind blowing.
That's when he took his hand back to himself, making you sit more comfortably in bed before he positioned back in between your legs. This time he'll make sure you'll stay awake and take all of him, there was no other way.
You looked at his face and then at his cock, at the way he had his head at your entrance, almost pushing it in. You'll take him? Like, you're really going to fit him? "You can do it." he said when he finally pushed some of his cock in. "Fuck." he cursed under his breath. "I know you can do it." he let out a moan, throwing his head back for a moment before moving his eyes back on you. Your eyebrows furrowed, eyes closed and the cutest pout you ever showed him. It was like you really had a death wish, to fuck with his feelings like this and making his dick twitch. If he couldn't control himself any better he would had came right there on the spot. "Too much?" he said as he kept pushing his cock all the way in, making you nod as your words were stuck in your throat. "That's too bad."
You won't see any sympathy from him. Does he even knows what that means to begin with? You're too delicious, and the fact that he could pull even more expressions out of you made him push you over your limits.
So here he was, moving in and out of you way slower than he wants, rubbing your clit with his thumb and observing you like the pervert he is. He was salivating, drooling over your weak form as you showed him your off guard self. His cock twitching every time you let out a moan, and making you jolt at the sensation.
"Does it hurt?" he asked as he kept looking down at you, moving his hips in the same old motion. You nodded again, eyes still closed and biting your lip because of how he made you feel. He'll make it hurt even more, don't think that you can rest yet just because he's going easy on you. Fuck, he wants to sink his teeth into you so bad, leave marks all over your body as he rams his cock in and out of you.
But then you looked at him, big teary doe eyes that had him seeing a flash before him. He almost came, like, he almost cum just because you looked at him. If you want him to keep it together you have to talk some sense into him, because he doesn't think he can recover from that.
"You can move." no, don't give him a green light. Torment him more, play with his feeling and edge him till he's losing his damn mind. Don't be so sweet to him, he'll end up locking you up if you do that.
He pressed his chest against yours, his mouth finding yours as he started kissing you like the most starved man on earth. He moved his hips without a warning, slamming into you like you were his toy, and yet demanding for your touch. He was pushing himself into you, trying to steal the air away from your lungs as he seemed more desperate with each thrust.
He was looking into your eyes, waiting for you to snap at him and push him off, or tell him that's he's being too rough so he could stop being so delusional. But you didn't, only dragging him closer, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him just as needy as he was, both of you being a moaning mess. And not letting go of each other even after you came, wanting to feel even more. To cum again and again, and to be filled by him to the brim, even if you knew that would bring you some serious problems later when you finally come back to your senses.
The next day you woke up with a sore body, your skin aching all over the place, and barely being able to get up the bed.
That didn't stopped you from getting dressed with some clothes you found around the room, what you can only assume it was his since they were way too big.
You got out the room, in hope to find your phone or maybe the white haired man so he could get you back home. And now you were in the living room, looking around for your things. Instead finding a letter, that seemed way too familiar.
That handwriting, you could recognize it everywhere. And that damn signature, the fucking S.
It was one of the letters he didn't managed to 'give' it to you yet. And honestly, you don't know if you should be relieved or terrified because this one was worse than anything before.
You turned around, paper still in your hand and looking at the tall guy who had his back pressed against the wall. He was expressionless, no thoughts behind his head as he seemed to stare at you like he was looking into the void.
It was him, that damn son of a bitch. He played with you all this time and you had no idea.
"I made you breakfast." he said, not every caring if you found out about his doings or not. "Come while it's still hot." he let out a laugh at your expression. You never hold back, do you? Can you at least try to not look like your about to kill him?
#jjk smut#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#gojo satoru#gojo satoru smut#gojo smut#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojou satoru x reader#jjk gojo#jujutsu gojo#jujutsu kaisen gojo#gojou satoru x y/n#jjk satoru#satoru gojo x reader#jujutsu satoru
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Gifts
pairing: Spencer Reid x reader
summary: You and Spencer broke up two years ago, but now you received a gift on the anniversary of the biggest tragedy of your lives, so you give him a visit to confront him.
word count: 1.5k
tags: fem!reader, mention of a child's death
Birthday. Halloween. Christmas. Anniversary. Pi Day. Doctor Who Day.
Flowers. Small presents. Sometimes both.
It’s been almost two years since you and Spencer agreed to end your relationship, yet he keeps sending you stuff. There is usually a card with SR on it, but there is no other message. You never really understood why he keeps sending them, but you aren’t about to give him the satisfaction of showing interest. You just throw them out. Each and every one of them.
Today you find another gift on your doorstep, wrapped in shiny blue paper, decorated with a big white bow on the top and, of course, it has the usual card tucked under the bow. You haven’t received a present on this particular day before, this is a first, and you can’t help but wonder what made him send one now. It’s sick and twisted, there’s absolutely nothing to celebrate about today, if anything, it’s a day to forget. But then you open the box, and it’s white-hot rage that fills your mind.
Without hesitation, you put the gift in your bag and head to Spencer’s apartment, already planning what profanities you’re gonna throw at him for messing with you like this. He from all people should know better than to remind you of this, in fact, you’re surprised he’s that okay with remembering what happened on this day. Each step that takes you closer to his door makes you a little more nervous, because you don’t know how talking to him about this will play out.
You knock, keeping it civil and gentle at first, but then you put a little more force into the move to make sure he hears you. Within a matter of seconds the door opens, and you’re standing face to face with the man who was the love of your life, the one who turned himself into the boogeyman with those gifts. But today’s present crossed a line, you couldn’t ignore the problem any longer.
“What are you doing here?” he asks you, sounding honestly confused to find your standing there.
It’s hard to bite back the sarcastic laugh that wants to erupt from your throat. Taking a deep breath to prepare yourself, you push him aside and march inside, waiting for him to come after you in silence. As you watch him move, you take a better look at him–at his face, at his movements, everything. He’s different. Very different. He looks exhausted and stressed, and you can’t help but wonder what’s causing it. Where’s the sweet nerdy guy you spent over four years with?
Clearing your throat, you open your bag and put the gift on the coffee table. “Explain this.” Spencer’s eyes move to the item, the fuzzy, reddish-brown, newborn-sized jumpsuit with the fox on it, then he looks back at you with a look that shows honest confusion. “In the past years, you gave me no choice but to get used to the gifts you’re sending. Fine, I throw them out and forget about them. But this? Why? This is the first time you sent me anything on this day. It’s sick, Spencer, you know it! You have a gun, shooting me in the head would be more gentle. Or did you turn into some sick sadist?!” you scream, tears forming in the corners of your eyes.
He opens his mouth to speak up, but he struggles to find the right words for a while. “Okay, take a deep breath and calm down. The other gifts? Yes, those were from me, and I’ll stop, I promise. This? I have nothing to do with this one,” he promises as he runs his hand over the little jumpsuit. “But sadly, I have a pretty good guess who sent this so-called gift to you.”
“Is it related to one of your cases?” you ask hesitantly, knowing full well it could be an answer.
With a sigh, Spencer runs a hand through his hair. “Sort of.” When he turns back to you and sees your questioning look, he takes a deep breath and begins his explanation. “There’s a woman. She’s in prison, but she’s been messing with me, even from there. I think she wants to drag you into this. I’m so sorry,” he says softly, his tone giving away that he’s being completely honest.
It’s hard to look at him after this, so you sit on the couch and wait for him to do the same. Once he sits next to you, keeping a comfortable distance not to upset you, you can’t help but fidget with the zip of your leather jacket. “Are you in danger?”
“I’m more worried about you,” is all he says in response. When you turn to look at him, he gulps. “I’m going to take you home so you can pack a few things, then you’ll have to come back with me. I’ll protect you, okay? I’ll figure this out,” he promises as his hand slowly inches closer to yours.
You force yourself to look at him, your brain in overdrive as you try to figure out if you should trust him or not. This is the man you once loved more than anything, the one you had a family with, and the very same person your family loved so much. But he has changed. You can’t quite put a finger on it, but the feeling’s there, and you can’t shake it off. Your eyes flick back at the jumpsuit on the table, glued to the damn thing as if it was calling out your name, and the words spill out before you could stop yourself.
“You still have photos of her, don’t you?” you ask quietly.
“Of course I do.” When you turn to him, he’s watching you with a slightly tilted head. “You don’t?”
“No. I wanted to throw them away, I thought getting rid of them would help me move on, but my parents kept them, so…”
Spencer suddenly takes your hand, gently squeezing it in quiet reassurance. Losing your daughter hurt him just as much, maybe even more, which is why someone using the day she died against him must be a real hard punch in the gut. You can’t help but remember the nights he spent by her crib, telling her stories until he dozed off too. But your little family fell apart when she got sick, and no matter how good the doctors were, there was nothing they could do to save her. You both blamed yourselves, and grief eventually led to the two of you drifting away from each other.
He kisses the back of your hand to pull you out of your thoughts, flashing a sad smile at you when your eyes meet. “I kept her stuff in a storage unit. I know I said I gave them away, but I couldn’t. Guess this one fell into the wrong hands,” he explains, guilt filling his voice. Even though he falls silent, you can see the wheels turning in his head. “Just bear with me until I put an end to this, okay? I only want the best for you, you know that, don’t you?” When you nod, he leans down to place a soft kiss on your forehead. “Alright, let’s go get your things.”
“Spence?” With a questioning hum, he looks down at you, his hand still holding yours, ready to pull you up. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Saying no to couples therapy. I didn’t fight for our relationship hard enough. You deserved better,” you tell him with an apologetic look.
Spencer suddenly crouches to be more or less on eye level with you. “We can still fix things, just say the word,” he assures you with a smile, his thumb gently caressing your skin. “I will always love you, no matter what. In fact, thinking about you helped me a lot while I was in prison.”
This freezes your brain temporarily. “You were in what?”
He shakes his head a little as he stands up. “Long story, but I’ll tell you once we get back,” he says, finally managing to pull you up too.
The two of you just stand there in silence for a short while, and you can’t help but wonder why you gave up that easily. Sure, the grief was bad, but you loved him so much, and you could have helped each other move on. Instead, you chose to be alone, hoping falling back into the steady, boring rhythm of your life would make things right. It didn’t. You’re miserable, still suffering from the loss of your daughter, and being in Spencer’s company is a painful reminder of that. But maybe, just maybe, this sick bastard who’s playing their sick little games with him might bring you closer to each other again.
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Promises (future Aaron Hotchner x reader)
summary: A new prosecutor takes over the case where you're a witness, and he assures you things will be just fine.
tags: the case is a murder case with a hint of something else involving the reader, fem!reader, prosecutor!Hotch
note: This is a pilot, prologue, call it whatever you want. If there will be future chapters, it will take place in 1996 or 1997, when she's a homicide detective.
(1991)
Two years of preparation is now going down the drain, because the original prosecutor had a heart attack, so the case is being taken over by some guy called Aaron Hotchner. Great. Excellent. He’s young, mid-twenties, probably doesn’t even have enough experience to handle such a case, but it’s not like you have a choice if you want to get this over with finally. Hopefully, he won’t die or be taken off the case too.
Your parents were murdered when you were barely sixteen, and in the two years leading up to this day, you did your best to move on, building a life of your own without them. By now you were sure the trial would be the last time you have to recall the details of what happened, what those who killed your parents did to you, but now it seems like you have to talk about it a lot more to help the new prosecutor.
“I know it’s hard. I read everything Morris had on your case, but we need to talk regularly so I can hear what happened from you, and I need to get you ready for the trial,” he says.
Those warm brown eyes are watching you intently, as if he was analyzing your body language to make sure he always chose the right words when talking to you. He’s really trying to help you, so you can’t be mad at him for doing his job. With a sigh, you lean back and let your arm that’s been folded over your chest fall into your lap.
“He already prepared me, I’m gonna be fine,” you tell him, hoping he would get the hint that you don’t want that.
“I’m aware of that, but I need to get to know you better. I need to know what I can expect from you, so please, just trust me on this one. I know what happened to you, I know it must be hard to talk about those things again, but it’s necessary,” he explains kindly as he picks up a pen and focuses on that for a moment.
You take a deep breath as you lean back in the chair. “I won’t have to see Blake until the trial, right?” Seeing that son of a bitch is the last thing you want. Hotchner notices that you’re against it, so he shakes his head, assuring you that you’ll be kept away from him. “Alright, let’s do this. But I’m going to law school, we may have trouble scheduling meetings,” you point out.
He nods. “It’s okay. We can meet in the evening if we have no other choice.”
“You know, I was already making bets with my friends about when you’ll die or hand over this case to someone else. Call me a pessimist.”
There’s a faint smile on his lips when he hears this. “I won’t let that happen. Trust me, we’ll put an end to this. That's a promise I’m gonna keep,” he tells you.
And you believe him. For the first time in two years you feel like everything would be alright in the end.
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₊˚⊹♡ mixed orders
pairing. tokuno yushi x reader
synopsis. a silly mistake has yushi thinking about you for days.
tags. college cafe drabble, just a lot of fluff, in the member's pov bc i like writing inner dilemmas, mentions of food, reader uses she/her prns... i think that's it! (lmk if anything was missed)
wc. 0.8k words
notes. my first work for the year and its for the wishies (i hope u all don't mind me writing for them now hehe) 🥺 also what do we think of this new banner style 👐👐 likes and feedback are highly appreciated!
꒰ m.list ꒱
yushi thinks he’s losing it.
it started last week—when he met you.
his friends had begged him to check out a cafe near campus, throwing around excuses about needing a change of scenery to study. yushi knew better. studying was always the last thing on their minds when they were together. but when riku slung an arm around his shoulders and sion dangled the promise of good coffee in front of him, he couldn’t find it in himself to say no.
the cafe was warm and cozy, filled with the scent of freshly brewed coffee and pastries. yushi didn’t think much of it at first. it was just another cafe, just another outing with his friends.
but then he saw you.
you were standing behind the counter, adjusting the straps of your apron before glancing up at him with a small smile. the soft, golden lights of the cafe reflected in your eyes, giving them an almost starry quality. his friends wasted no time rattling off their orders to him, not even sparing a second glance before they darted off to claim a table. now he was left standing there, brain inexplicably stalling as if some pop up screen was blocking it from functioning normally.
“hi! what can i get you?” you asked, your voice bright and clear.
“um… uh, what was it… two raspberry lattes and a caramel soda?”
“i think you meant two raspberry sodas and a caramel latte,” you corrected gently, a small laugh slipping out as you tapped the order into the register.
yushi felt like sinking into the floor at that very moment. “r-right, those please.”
“that’ll be fifteen dollars in total. can i have your name, please?”
“my name?” he echoed dumbly, his voice cracking slightly.
you tilted your head, clearly amused. “so you can claim your drinks when they’re ready, silly.”
“oh- right.” his hand fumbled with his wallet, nearly dropping his card in the process. the tips of his ears burned, and he could already hear sion and riku laughing if they had seen this. “it’s yushi.”
“okay! here you go.” you handed him his change and a buzzer, your fingers brushing his ever so briefly. “you can pick up your drinks when it starts beeping.”
“i… i knew that,” he mumbled, gripping the buzzer tightly like it was a lifeline that would save him from his ever growing embarrassment.
“just making sure.” you winked playfully before turning your attention to the next customer.
yushi moved out of the line on autopilot, his heart thudding loudly in his chest. by the time he reached his friends, he realized he hadn’t even thanked you. the thought lingered even after he had already retrieved the drinks, silently gnawing at him as his friends started chatting about some new game release.
it wasn’t anything special, so why did his mind keep recalling the way you laughed? or the mischievous glint in your eyes when you teased him?
“hey, class ended like five minutes ago, and you’re usually the first one out as soon as the bell rings.”
huh?
yushi blinked, realizing he’d been staring blankly at his notebook. sion was leaning on his desk, one eyebrow raised, his messenger bag slung carelessly over his shoulder.
“your mind’s been absent all day,” riku added, tossing a pen into his backpack with a practiced flick. he nudged yushi’s chair with his foot. “whatcha thinking about, hmm?”
“nothing,” yushi muttered, shoving his notebook into his bag with a little more force than necessary.
sion crossed his arms, a sly grin spreading across his face. “oh, it’s definitely something. wait a second- this started last week, didn’t it? at the cafe.”
riku’s eyes widened as he snapped his fingers. “it’s the barista, isn’t it?!”
yushi froze, his ears instantly turning red and his friends could already tell what that implies without him needing to even speak.
“dude, you’re so obvious.” sion plopped down on the desk next to yushi’s, leaning in with a teasing grin. “you’ve been zoning out ever since we went there. what, are you gonna ask her out or just keep replaying that little meet-cute in your head?”
“i barely know her,” yushi snapped, slinging his bag over his shoulder as he stood. “and i don’t even—”
“you don’t even what?” riku cut in, blocking his path with a smirk. “like her? think about her every day? want to go back just to see her?”
yushi groaned, burying his face in his hands. “you’re both the worst.”
“well, lucky for you,” sion said, patting his shoulder with mock sympathy, “we’re heading back tomorrow. don’t say we never do anything for you.”
“wait- what?” yushi looked up, panicked.
“don’t worry, we’ll even order for you this time so you don’t embarrass yourself again.” riku laughed, dodging the half-hearted punch yushi threw his way.
as they left the classroom, yushi lagged behind, trying to quiet the flurry of nerves in his chest. it wasn’t much—just a thought. but somehow, the idea of seeing you again didn’t seem so bad.
#nct wish fluff#nct fluff#yushi fluff#nct drabbles#nct wish drabbles#nct imagines#nct wish imagines#nct wish#tokuno yushi
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How Stray Kids say “I love you” without saying it (maknae line)
Genre: fluff
Warnings: slight cursing
Han Jisung
Adds your favorite songs to his playlists
Music isn’t just this man’s love language. It’s his every language. It’s the oxygen he breaths and the water he drinks. In his mind, your favorite songs are a piece of your soul that he can carry with him no matter where he goes, so he adds your favorite songs to all of his playlists, and will never once hesitate to point that out to anyone in the vicinity. The boys have learned all the words at this point because of how often he plays the songs that remind him of you for them.
Just flat-out says it
Before anyone says that this is a lazy cop-out, just hear me out. Sweet Hannie wouldn’t know subtlety if it walked up to him with a name tag and slapped him upside the face. He wears his whole heart on his sleeve, so I really, truly believe that he wouldn’t be one to let his actions speak louder than his words. Both are equally important in his eyes, so please don’t get annoyed when every other thing out of his mouth is how much he loves you. He’s only a tad obsessed, I promise.
Felix Lee
Cooks with you
Sure, Lix can bake, but have you seen him try to cook? It’s not pretty, but he always has a blast trying, especially when it’s with you. Whether you’re a five star Michelin or burn water, you’re going to create some sort of mess when you two get together. No matter how it turns out, though, Felix will make himself enjoy every bite because it “was made with love.”
Sends you a million TikToks
It could be memes, sad videos, songs he thinks you’ll like, things about your hobbies, prepared to be bombarded with little videos from Felix 24/7. He shares them so you know he’s thinking of you, and it fills him with way too much joy when you find them as entertaining as he does. It just further convinces him that you’re soulmates, and who’s to say he’s wrong?
Kim Seungmin
Writes about you in his journal
His journal is an extension of himself, and is how he processes his insanely hectic life, but he always finds that writing about you feels different. He never has to think about what he’s writing, and the words just flow onto the page. If you manage to catch him in a particularly mushy mood, he might even let you read some of it.
Keeps a nightly routine with you
Ending his day with you is the highlight of it. He can’t wait to take his makeup off while telling you all the dumb shit the boys did that day. On tour, he’ll coordinate a time for you to do it all on FaceTime. Every step, from changing into pajamas to doing face masks, he loves knowing that, no matter how awful his day might have been, he will always be able to bear it because you would be there at the end to make it all worth it.
Yang Jeongin
Coordinates outfits
Listen, to Jeongin, being buck-naked is better than even considering not matching with you. No matter whether you’re even on the same continent, you better bet your best britches that he’ll be checking to make sure you AT LEAST have your couples bracelet on. He also definitely has a Pinterest board of couple outfit ideas.
Compares your hands
No matter how many times he does it, his heart still flutters a bit every time he sees your hands being engulfed by his. Not only is it an excuse to touch his favorite person, but it makes him feel like, in a small way, he can shelter you from the crazy world he lives in, and what kind of monster would you have to be to deny your sweet boy of that?
#skz#stray kids#spotify#skz fluff#stray kids fluff#skz fanfic#stray kids fanfic#skz maknae line#skz seungmin#skz jeongin#skz jisung#skz felix#i love you#Spotify
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This week’s writer spotlight feature is: @gayjinkies! gayjinkies has 7 fics posted on AO3 in the Stranger Things fandom and all of them are in the Steddie tag!
Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @Gayjinkies:
I’m a lover, boy
lover, you can’t be wrong
heartbeat (increasing heartbeat)
any solitary pleasure
Are You Sending Out Your Love Signs?
"Their writing is absolutely masterpiece. I LOVE their characterisation of Steddie!" -- Anonymous
Below the cut, @gayjinkies answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!
Why do you write Steddie?
I started reading Steddie during a really weird and stressful time in my life. I’d be reading literally the entire night through for months on end. Reading about these dumbass boys was one of the only ways to escape for a while. When my day-to-day chilled out a bit, I figured I may as well give writing a go, since I’d read, I swear to god, hundreds of fics by that point. I immediately fell in love with thinking up the most idiotic, goofy situations to plop Steve and Eddie into. I’m also a sucker for enemies-to-lovers dialogue and the possibilities are endless with these two. There’s so much potential chemistry and tension and canonically unexplored backstories which makes it so much fun to write!
What’s your favorite trope to READ?
I don’t think I have an all-time favourite! One of my favourites is friends-to-enemies-to-lovers because ohhh the layers…the betrayal…the yearning… I also love reading hidden identity fics, I eat them up so damn quick. And then the usual suspects: forced proximity, miscommunication, requited-unrequited, fake dating, only one bed. Honestly I could list so many that I love with my entire heart.
What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?
I’m not sure if Crack counts as a trope?? If so, then that for sure. The more absurd the better, in my book. I love taking the most ridiculous situation I can think of and trying to write it believably enough that readers could think, “huh, yeah, I can see this happening. This makes sense for these two.” Apart from that, I love writing miscommunication. It’s so much FUN, and as I’m typing it I’ll be shaking my head, clicking my tongue, muttering, “if only you guys just talked…” and then not allowing them to properly talk for another 10k words.
What’s your favorite Steddie fic?
This is such an impossible question, there’s no way I could pick just one out of so many absolute bangers 🤚 blipblot’s A Lick and a Promise is phenomenal and I’ll shout it from the rooftops (I’ll shout about literally all of their fics from the rooftops, they’re just so spectacular) I’m reading Big Talk by occasional_loverboy which is SO FUCKING GOOD. let’s exchange the experience by jamiethegardener is an absolute favourite. Vulture by GriefAbyss is currently and very actively consuming my thoughts. throw me one by Adure is one of the first Steddie fics I fell in love with right at the start and it’s one of my all-time favourites.
Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?
Ohhhhh so many. I would love to write a secret identity fic and a fake dating fic, and I’ve got ideas bouncing around my head for both of those. They’ll get written eventually!! I also haven’t really written slow burn yet because I love instant gratification with ensuing angst and drama, but I would love to try my hand at it!
What is your writing process like?
Controversial, maybe! I can’t write any scene without having written the scene before, everything is written sequentially. I don’t plan or draft at all, so scenes just develop as I’m writing, which makes it impossible to jump ahead in the plot and write because the story changes every time I sit down to write more. It also means that if I get stuck on one particular scene, the entire fic grinds to a screeching halt until I figure a single line of dialogue out 🫠 So it’s slow going a lot of the time! I also don’t really edit apart from checking my spelling and grammar, so not much is left on the cutting room floor! Also, I only write while blasting pink noise through my headphones. I sometimes have music playing in the same room but the pink noise stays on the entire time.
Do you have any writing quirks?
I’m not sure!!! Probably using way too many em dashes, which I say hesitantly for fear of people reading my shit and noticing my overuse 😬 I also recycle specific phrases all the time, which are usually ones that I use in my day-to-day as well. They just seem to snake their way into each and every fic.
Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?
I’ve discovered that I really do need to have finished writing before starting to post, otherwise there’s a chance it won’t be updated for months as my focus jumps to other projects.
Which fic are you most proud of?
I’m really proud of set my wings on fire. It was my quickest turnaround time from idea conception to finished product, and it’s also the only fic I’ve written that’s just one scene. I also experimented more with structure and writing style with that one. It’s the most love I’ve ever put into a fic and the most fun I’ve had writing so it’s very special to me.
How did you get the idea for any solitary pleasure?
Ahhh, my stink kink fic. Not to put my friend on blast, but they were chatting with me about a guy they’d hooked up with who had a cologne collection totalling over $10,000. When I asked my friend if the guy smelled good, they replied that they didn’t really know, they prefer natural musk and sweat over fancy colognes. I heard that, immediately thought, “sounds like a certain someone…” and knew I had to thrust a scent kink upon Eddie.
When writing heartbeat (increasing heartbeat), what was something you didn’t expect?
I didn’t expect how difficult it would be to orchestrate a phone sex scene! I think dirty talk is one of my weaker areas in writing, so not being able to fall back on action descriptions when it came to Steve and Eddie’s interactions was hard. I’m a big fan of non-verbal communication and not having that as an option was definitely challenging.
What inspired I’m a lover, boy?
I don’t think there was any particular inspiration! The plot for I’m a lover, boy literally popped into my head fully formed one day, and I spent a bit of time just kicking it around before writing it all down.
What was your favorite part to write from lover, you can’t be wrong?
I love writing Steve & Robin scenes, and lover, you can’t be wrong is riddled with them. I’d never written anything from Steve’s POV before and exploring their friendship has been so lovely. Their conversations flow and I love that for both them and me.
How do/did you feel writing Are You Sending Out Your Love Signs??
Are You Sending Out Your Love Signs was the first Steddie fic I wrote, after having not written creatively for years. It was written after a solid few months of sleep-deprivation and stress and I don’t really remember much about how I felt while writing it! I think for a while I was very sure I was never going to post it, so I didn’t care about whether it was actually quality writing or not, which was freeing!! It was a good stepping stone to getting back into writing because it was a zero-pressure experience.
What was the most difficult part of writing Are You Sending Out Your Love Signs??
Probably literally just starting it!! I hadn’t written creatively since high school, and I hadn’t really been good at it then, so I was 100% convinced I wouldn’t be able to do it. Most of my experience is in writing research studies, so it was hard to push past that and embrace flowery, fun fiction writing.
Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?
In my most recent fic, call my bluff when I roll the dice, there’s a scene where Eddie accidentally humiliates Steve regarding the size of his dick, and I had SO much fun writing it. The entire fic was built around that scene that I’d had in my head for ages. I love writing emotionally-driven dialogue and also Very Silly dialogue, so that was such a fun one to write.
Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?
I have a bunch of WIPs and even more ideas that haven’t been put on paper yet! I’ve got a long-form fic half written that I’m very excited about which I refuse to start posting until I’ve finished it, but it’s in the works! I’ve also got a third of a gloryhole fic written which I’m also keen to finish and post. Apart from them, I’ve got a bunch of crack ideas that I’m very sure will be posted in the near future!
Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?
I wanted to thank steddieunderdogfics for everything that you do 💖 big love to you guys!!!
Thank you to our author, @gayjinkies, and our nominator! See more of gayjinkies' works featured on our page throughout the day!
Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!
#writer's spotlight#writer's wednesday#steddie#steddie fic recs#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie#stranger things#steddieunderdogfics
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ok so here's my complaint of the day!
I wrote this during the moment I felt like complaining and I was sleepy so it MIGHT be a little dramatic 😇
every time I'm devouring a SaneGiyuu fic because I like its plot for a while, here goes a smut scene that never fails to make me sigh and mayhaps roll my eyes
most of the times I know I'll get icked but decide to read because "what if it's not that bad",, then it's almost always the same shit over and over: Sanemi topping, bonus points if there's even just slight roughness (yikes😬...), Giyuu being loud and being described in degrading terms [and basically none of this was told beforehand in tags nor notes, almost as if it was the "normal" perception of SaneGiyuu for most people...??? shut UP??😃]
respectfully, it's ass.
I'm tired, these tropes are overused and fucking inaccurate dare I say, unless there's a reason in the fanfic's AU specifically but I still find it to be too common and weird. if you want a somewhat accurate SaneGiyuu pay gorn (/hj /ref) it must be them switching AND being romantic. where the FUCK is the romance,, the last one I've read now wasn't that bad because it still mentioned adoration, kisses and love overall, but there's almost always something that icks me even just in the few fics I've read so far, and it makes my reading experience sm slower and uncomfortable afterwards even if I initially loved the fic
now, as I've stated multiple times, I hate the "rough daddy dom Sanemi" and "submissive twink Giyuu" headcanons with every single inch of my entire being in&out including my whole soul /drm,,, and not just in sex scenes but in their overall dynamic, it's so enraging I don't care if someone disagrees I'd just stare and judge??😭😭😭my main purpose when I complain abt this stuff is to look for other people with my same mindset (thank GOD I saw lots of them so far though)
the disrespect, and the fetishization of queer couples in which one "has to look/act more like the opposite gender" and inevitably the one who has more apparent feminine traits has to be the sub, bc they associate femininity with submissiveness. heteronormativity and borderline patriarchy-inducted stereotypes?? woah./neg
let Sanemi receive, it won't make him any less of a man nor threaten his masculinity I promise🥺 same goes for Giyuu if he was actually written like the manly strong man and SOLDIER he fucking is? I still wouldn't really really prefer it but I would respect the preference in that case.. heated arguments about who tops or bottoms are inherently fetishizing and stupid, however if I see a (weird) pattern I'm gonna hate it sorry not sorry😭🙏🏻
also please if someone can recommend SaneGiyuu fics with NO smut or actually well written sex scenes with them preferably switching (it's the only actual realistic trope and I stand by this fact) I'll be thankful, and I'm taking the occasion to also recommend "You And Me, Alone Together" by Katz3 (yes there's also occasional sex scenes and yes they're perfect in every possible way, the whole fic is!! I have yet to find a better fic and I know I won't, despite it being underrated); or maybe if you have fic recs in which Giyuu exclusively tops if there's NSFW scenes, out of nothing but pure spite, I would be thankful as well🥰
one last thing bc I usually get heavily misinterpreted whenever I complain abt anything: I'm NOT saying "GiyuSane is better" (even if that's what *I* personally think, due to how I interpret their writing and how I headcanon their relationship dynamic which has nothing much different from most, I just don't twinkify/overly-feminize/infantilize Giyuu nor I over-sexualize/booktok-fy Sanemi), I'm just saying it's more realistic if they switched: it's more accurate, more inclusive, less mischaracterizing, less stereotyped and therefore less heteronormative and less fetishizing...
and about the degrading and roughness and all that I mentioned, I just despise it. for every ship and every trope, whether m/f, f/f or m/m. it takes romance away imo and I won't be sugarcoating it with "oh but it's consensual so it's fine" nor negotiating it in order not to piss off the people who like this kind of content; I'm sorry, keep your preferences, but I won't be shutting the fuck up if I have to read it every goddamn time I naively think there's normal and loving sex scenes. put tags to warn readers who don't wanna read that shit so they can skip it if they still gave the fic a shot, please🙏🏻
#complaining#sorry lmao#demon slayer#kny#sanegiyuu#kimetsu no yaiba#giyuusane#sanemi shinazugawa#sanemi x giyuu#giyuu tomioka#sanemi#sanegiyuu fic discourse#sanegiyuu fics#giyusane#booktok teenage girls will be my demise#SaneGiyuu is loser x loser that's all#might delete this if it reaches the wrong audience
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Yeah I'm sharing them now because if I decide to wait to pass them digitally I will ✨never do it✨
Spiderverse x One Piece AU!
A little something that started as an exercise in character design and then I got a little bit into it lmao
I did design the rest of the East Blue Crew but uh... they were kinda ugly/boring, I put more effort into these two because they're the 💕favs💕
Info, kinda. Honestly I don't have a lot thought out its mostly random ideas that mushed together sort of resemble a well put together au, just like everything I do <3
Nami:
- Spider-Woman of her universe, while her design isn't exactly original I really liked using her orange and blue colors. She has the spider logo on her back because she hates spiders and hates looking at them lmao
- In her universe, her best friend Usopp died when she failed to save him (kinda her "Gwen Stacy" but he was just a friend)
- Has electricity powers, her spidey senses are also really in tune with the climate for some reason
- She has a staff (not pictured) she fights with, and also uses the environment to her favor, not the biggest fan of fighting hand to hand because (compared to other Spider-people) shes not as physically strong
- Has a few enemies and nemesis that she fights, Arlong being the most important/strong one
- She's actually quite happy to know other Spider-people, tho she was kinda shocked when she saw Usopp... It was awkard for both of them...
Usopp:
- The first Spider-man in his world, there are some things of his design I would change (mainly the sweatband, I would change the colors), but I'm actually quite happy with his design. Where does his nose go with the mask on? The same place Hobbie's hair goes, idk..
- In his universe, his best friend Nami died, Usopp failing to protect her
- Uncanny precision with his webfluids, also figths using the environment
- Unfortunately isn't a well received Spider-man 😔, gets complaints about destruction of property or how he's "pretty coward for a superhero"
- Really would rather focus on saving civilians from natural disasters, as he's also not as physically strong (compared to other Spider-people), but it seems every weirdo on the block decided they really need to beat this teenager up, so he also has some enemies...
- Super excited about meeting other Spider-people and finally being able to share life experiences with them, and then met Nami, or Spider-Woman Nami and it was awkard and uncomfortable (but they became besties, bittersweet moment)
Extra stuff from the rest of the East Blue Crew:
- Luffy's spiderman name is Spider-King and the rest of the Spidermans where like "I can't decide if that's the best or the worst name I've ever heard...". Well Usopp thinks it's kinda cool, and wishes he had chosen a cooler name for himself, might be too late for a new signature 🤔, Nami and Sanji think it's stupid, Zoro is undecided
- Sanji does not have a spider logo, even tho his name is Spider-man because he hates spiders
- Zoro is the second Spider-man from his universe, the first one being Kuina, she died and he took her place
- Sanji has fire inmunity
- Zoro carries like 5 extra pockets of web fluids cause he takes "longer routes" (he gets lost a lot)
#my art#one piece#nami#usopp#god usopp#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#black leg sanji#and i dont know what else to tag. i never got around to making the rest of the crew :(#because the next one was chopper and I had zero (0) ideas on what to do with him lmaoo#i guess he could be a reindeer bitten by a radioactive spider??? and he talks... But I also wanna make him human? 🤷♀️#just know if I do ever get to designing the rest robin will be the coolest#also will the rest of the ebc see the light of day? ehhh probably not? maybe zoro.. hes the least ugly 😔#luffy ended up too generic and sanji ended up too 'waiter' lmao#i didnt put much of namis backstory because hers is very similar to gwen in spiderverse and thats kinda boring but idk what to change 🤔#usopps backstory is his mom is still not dead but in a hospital and he lies to her saying he personally knows spiderman#but she knows 😔 and she worries#anyways. I dont have any plans with this au lmao. it was just for the drawings 😭 (that i did last year)#if anyone likes the idea and wants to expand or just run with it they have my full permission 🤷♀️#also wow. ignore my ugly ass handwriting dkdkkfk i promise it looks better nowadays (no one cares. no ones even looking at it. still)
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THE BEST OF MASS EFFECT: VIRMIRE
Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard and Cmdr. Dominik Shepard With: Lt. Kaidan Alenko, Gun. Chief Ashley Williams, Urdnot Wrex, and Tali'Zorah nar Rayya Ft. Special Guest Appearances by: Spec. Saren Arterius and Sovereign There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own, you cannot even imagine it... Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#dominik shepard#kaidan alenko#ashley williams#urdnot wrex#tali’zorah vas normandy#mass effect#me#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#it’s been so long since i’ve made a BEST OF: lol but virmire called to me the other night#this isn’t really the same as the ME3 ones i’ve been breaking from tbf but also virmire is my favorite mission in ME1#and tbf this is a BEST OF: ME in general#i might make a series but i'm not quite sure yet this was just something that popped into my head when i was playing a UNC the other night#but i did get to use both the kids this time!!! :D#my favorite mindoir twins :)#bc we love BOTH sheps in this house!!!#but this was a lot of fun! i got to do some more interesting stuff with the editing and the coloring than i usually do :)#i was also planning on using a vision shot? but those are so jittery (right word?) in gif form that i scrapped it tbf#also pls excuse soph looking different in literally every gif pack i release lmaooooo#this is the last iteration of her head i promise lmao (actual canon ME1 appearance i swear ignore everything else lol)#finally fixed that sculpt and gave her her piercings and i think she matches up with dom a lil better now :)#tbf dom also went through 50 other iterations of his sculpt but i never giffed those. those are just in a screenshot folder on my PC lmao#i was gonna say OG dom versus now dom isn't that far off but tbh dom did have a CC head at one point#i call that head dan now bc i don't associate it with him anymore it looks nothing like him LMAO#OG OG soph looked crazy different too tbf. and she was an adept at one point before i scrapped that entirely.#oh OG versions of my kids how different you looked and how much you have changed#but the kids are alright! and i'll stop screaming about them now. :)#i’ll stop using the tags to rant now even if it is the mira special™️ but have a good day wherever you are!! :D
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part 2 | this is part two to this from Steve's perspective leading up to and including part one | cw unresolved angst [unfinished/for now not being worked on]
31 days until moving day.
Steve burst through the door to Family Video, swinging it open with way too much force.
Robin jumps and opens her mouth, probably to tell him off for scaring her but he speaks before she gets the chance.
“Eddie asked me to move to Chicago with him,” he blurts out, “Robin, he asked me to go with him.”
Her eyes widen, “what did you say?”
“That I’d go, of course,” he huffs. Like it’s even a question? like not going was ever an option?
Robin jumps over the counter squealing and hugs him so tight breathing becomes a little bit hard.
“I’m moving away with Eddie,” he whispers into her hair, awed as he hugs her back. She somehow squeezes him even tighter and they stay like that for a minute until they have to actually do their jobs.
An hour passes and Robin keeps shooting him contemplative looks.
“What?” He finally snaps after getting tired of waiting for her to say what she wants to say herself.
She jumps again like she didn’t realize how obvious she was being, which honestly, she probably didn’t.
“Nothing, nothing.”
“Robin,” he whines.
“Okay, just,” she scrunches her face up a bit and Steve knows that face, she’s trying to figure out how to say something to him she thinks he’ll react badly to.
He narrows his eyes at her, bracing himself, “yes?”
“I think you and Eddie are great together, and like I love you both and I am excited for you guys. You know that right?”
Steve nods, doesn’t say anything though, wants her to get to the point.
“I’m just also, maybe, a little bit worried.”
Steve’s eyebrows draw together, “what do you mean?”
Robin is looking around nervously. Something heavy starts to form in Steve’s stomach.
“You haven’t been together for very long and this is a big step. I just don’t wanna see either of you get hurt you know? I guess I’m just wondering if you’ve talked it all through? Because both of you have a tendency to jump into things without thought.”
They haven’t talked it through, not really. Eddie asked Steve to move, he said yes and that was pretty much it. It didn’t feel like they needed to talk it through though? Did they? Usually, they just dealt with things as they became relevant, that had worked for them so far.
Robin must see something on his face because she quickly talks again, backtracking and interrupting his thoughts.
“Not that I don’t think it will be great, you know I just worry about things a lot. This is my anxiety talking. You know what, ignore everything I just said. You two know what you’re doing.”
He doesn’t want her to know she’s already put doubts in his head so even though he’s starting to freak out a little he smiles and shakes his head.
“It’s fine Rob, I’m sure we will talk more with time.”
22 days until moving day.
Steve meant it when he said he and Eddie would talk. Meant to ask about the logistics, meant to make sure they were on the same page, he really did. But every time the move comes up Eddie just seems so sure about it already. Steve doesn’t want to make him think he’s having second thoughts. Thinks maybe it’s better to not say anything, to wait and let it come up naturally.
He thinks maybe they’ll talk about it tonight. The kids had joked about them all evening, about how fast they were moving.
Mike had made some snarky comment about them moving to a city where they knew no one and how awkward it would be if they crashed and burned and they’d have to share a bedroom.
Eddie had laughed, said it was good they weren’t gonna crash and burn then. But, he’d also added that his band was also going so actually he would know people.
It was just jokes, Steve knew that. That didn’t make it any less true though. Steve wouldn’t have anyone except Eddie, sure he liked the guys in his band but they weren’t his friends. Steve would have Eddie and Eddie would have his band. It suddenly seemed like a big deal.
He expects Eddie to also feel it, to get worried and bring it up but he doesn’t. If he is worried he isn’t saying anything, just like Steve isn’t.
8 days until moving day.
There’s a knock on Steve's door and when he opens Gareth is standing there. Steve is a lot confused about it but lets him in.
“Uh,” he starts a little unsure, “do you want anything to drink or?” He offers, mostly because he doesn’t know what else to say or do.
Gareth shakes his head, looking about as uncomfortable as Steve feels. Shuffling around where he’s standing and fiddling with the sleeve of his shirt. “No, I’m gonna leave again soon. I just came here to say something.”
Steve gestures for him to speak, “I’m listening.”
Gareth doesn’t immediately say anything, he shuffles some more and looks around the room before his eyes land on Steve again, a determined look in them.
“Look, I like you. I know Eddie loves you.”
Steve can’t help but smile a little at that, even though he’s starting to suspect he’s in for a shovel talk.
“And like, I probably wouldn’t do this if it weren’t for the fact that you haven’t dated for very long at all and are about to move in together in a city four hours away.”Gareth pauses and waits to speak again until Steve nods, showing he’s listening.
“Eddie does things without thinking. He doesn’t think about the consequences, not anything, just does. I love that about him, it’s the reason our band has gotten anywhere at all, but it also means that he gets hurt a lot, disappointed a lot. He can handle it with most things, he won’t be able to handle it with you.”
“What are you saying?” Steve asks even though he’s pretty sure he already knows.
Gareth looks pained but continues, “I’m saying that if you aren’t one hundred percent sure about moving with him, if you have any doubts at all, you can’t go.”
Steve can’t suppress his flinch. He expected Gareth to say he needed to be sure, that if he wasn’t he needed to tell Eddie. He wasn’t expecting him to say he shouldn’t, no, couldn’t go.
Gareth catches it and narrows his eyes, “I mean it Steve, it will break him more if you go, let him think it’s gonna work and then leave, then if you don’t go at all.” He steps closer to Steve, getting into his space. “So, if you’re not absolutely sure,” he pauses, steps even closer, “Do. Not. Go.” He punctuates every word and then he turns on his heel and leaves.
6 days until moving day.
Steve needs to talk with Eddie about it now, can’t ignore it anymore. He isn’t gonna just not go like Gareth told him to do. No, he’ll talk to Eddie and it will be fine.
They’re in his bed together, laying next to each other. Skin touching skin and a comfortable silence between them. Now is as good a time as any.
“Hey, Eddie?”
“Mhh?” He hums, shifting slightly next to him.
“What happens if something goes wrong when we move?”
Eddie snorts, “what? Like if we get a flat wheel? I know how to change a wheel, sweetheart.”
Steve smiles despite his nerves, tries to not imagine what Eddie would look like changing a wheel.
“Good to know, but no, not quite what I meant.”
Next to him, Eddie props himself up on his elbow so he can properly look at Steve.
“What did you mean?” He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind Steve’s ear as he speaks. Steve has to focus harder than he’d like to admit to not get lost in it. Even the smallest touches have an effect on him when it’s Eddie.
“What if something happens with us?” His voice is small and he can’t look at Eddie, afraid of what his reaction might be. “Remember that thing Mike said about us not really knowing anyone there? Just, what would happen?”
“Baby,” Eddie gently grabs Steve’s chin with his thumb and forefinger, tilting his face towards him. Steve easily follows but closes his eyes.
“Baby, please look at me,” Eddie’s voice is even softer than before, and Steve has always been weak when it comes to Eddie asking him to do things so he slowly blinks his eyes open.
“There you are,” he smiles, face open and tendrils of hair falling around it. He looks angelic and Steve almost forgets what they are talking about, too overwhelmed by the man next to him.
Eddie keeps them on track though.
“Like I told Mike, nothing will happen. We will be fine. But,” he continued before Steve can protest, “if something does, we both have jobs already, we’ve done this right. We will be able to save eventually. Quicker because we’re two people, paying rent and all that stuff on two salaries. If something happens we will have that security.”
Steve relaxes then and Eddie must see it because he grins and continues, “now if you didn’t have a job then I’d be worried. I’m not cut out for all the responsibility of being the breadwinner, princess.”
Steve groans and shoves Eddie away. Mostly to hide the blush he can feel creeping up his face just from Eddie calling him princess. Judging by the way Eddie cackles he doesn’t have to see Steve blush to know the effect it has on him.
He reaches out and pulls Steve in against his chest. “Worst case scenario we have to move back. Wayne will probably pretend to be unhappy about it but he’ll let me take over his trailer again. And, I know you have complicated feelings about this house, that your parents are the worst, but you’ll be able to come back if you need to.”
“Okay,” Steve says, his worries mostly calmed.
1 day until moving day.
Steve and Eddie are spending the night apart. Eddie wanting to spend his last night with Wayne and both of them needing to do some last minute packing.
Just as he finishes closing one of the last boxes the phone rings, he’s a bit confused about who would call him right now. His friends all having seen him earlier in the day to say goodbye. Maybe Eddie needs to double-check what time they decided to leave.
He picks up but it’s not Eddie, or even one of the kids, who speaks.
“Steven,” his mother's shrill voice crackles on the other end of the line.
“Hi mom,” he tries to hide his sigh as he speaks, doesn’t have the energy to get into anything with her right now, doesn’t want her to ruin his excitement.
“I thought you were moving to Chicago alone?”
His freezes, when he told his parents he was gonna move he didn’t say he was going alone but he also didn’t mention Eddie. He knew they wouldn’t like it, knew it would be easier to let them assume he was going by himself.
“But I just got off a call with Mrs. Hagan and she told me that Tommy had said you were moving there with- with that cult boy? The one who’s wanted for murder?”
Steve closes his eyes and this time he doesn’t bother hiding his sigh. Fucking Tommy, he’s always had a big mouth but Steve suspects that this hadn’t been him blabbering without thinking. No, Steve thinks Tommy knew exactly what he was doing telling his mom this piece of information.
“His name is Eddie, and he was cleared of all charges. The ‘cult’ was literally just a school club.”
“So it’s true? You’re moving with him?” Her voice is sharp and even just hearing it over the phone makes him flinch.
“Yeah, we’re friends and it’s cheaper that way. We got a better apartment because we’re two people with a job each.” It’s such a simplification of the truth it’s almost a lie but Steve doesn’t think this is the time to come out to her. He hopes the ‘better apartment’ comment will calm her, it’s the sort of thing she cares about after all. Not for his safety and comfort though but for how it will reflect on her.
He’s not sure she actually hears him though because she hisses a vicious, “If you move with him you will not be welcome back Steven, this will be the last time we speak.” Before she hangs up on him.
Steve carefully places the phone back in its cradle, then he’s left standing alone in the living room, both too shocked to move and not really shocked at all.
He’s not close to his parents. Has slowly been understanding just how much they’ve neglected him. He’s been relieved about moving away, about being in another city where he won’t have to see them when they waltz back into town. But to never speak to them again? That’s a whole different thing. He still hoped that they’d be able to fix their relationship. That him not being dependent on them anymore would allow him to stand up for himself. That everything would get better. Now instead, the thing he thought would allow their relationship to get better is gonna destroy it forever.
He debates calling Eddie, wants to tell him what his mom just said, wants to hear his voice, wants to let him make it better. He decides against it, he doesn’t wanna ruin Eddie’s last night with Wayne and he’ll see him tomorrow anyway. He can tell him in the car.
He doesn’t call Robin either, she’ll insist on coming over and he knows she’s on a date with Nancy right now. He doesn’t wanna ruin that either, even though both of them will tell him he’s not, he knows he will be. He goes to bed instead, sleep seems like the best option right now, at least he won’t have to think if he’s asleep.
Moving day.
He ended up not really sleeping at all. Tossing and turning for hours and after finally falling asleep sometime in the early morning he wakes up just hours later from a nightmare. He doesn’t remember what it was about but can feel the lingering panic. He gives up on getting any more sleep, doesn’t wanna risk more nightmares when he’s alone.
He picks at his breakfast, still thrown off from the conversation with his mom the night before and not feeling like eating, so he gives up on that too. He spends the rest of the morning wandering around, touching the walls and the furniture in the house he grew up in. The house he’s been left alone in since he was nine. The house he both hates and loves. The house he will never be allowed to return to after today.
Then the phone rings again, it’s probably his mom calling to ask if he’s decided to stay he thinks. It’s not, it turns out.
“Hi I’m Patricia, I’m looking for Steve Harrington?” A chipper voice says.
“This is him.”
“Okay well, good. I’m calling about a barista job you’re supposed to start with us next week.”
“Yeah?” Steve chews on his cheek.
“I’m so sorry but due to our rent being raised we’re having to do cutbacks. Since you haven’t signed your contract with us yet, it’s the first one to go.”
“You’re firing me?” Steve asks, it’s not entirely right since he hasn’t started yet but it’s all he can think to say.
“Essentially,” Patricia responds, “I’m sorry for the short notice.”
“Okay,” he says, his voice void of emotion, “thank you for calling.”
He hangs up without waiting for a response, he doesn’t have the energy to be polite.
He barely has time to let the information sink in before his doorbell rings. Eddie on the other side of the door with a wide grin on his face.
“Did you oversleep?” He jokes.
Steve’s confused for a second but then he realizes he’s still in his pajamas, that he’s spent the whole morning wandering around like a ghost in his house not getting any of the things he needed to do done.
He hasn’t packed the bag of all his essentials. He hasn’t gotten dressed. He hasn’t even brushed his teeth. What he has done is get fired from a job he never even started.
He sees Eddie’s teasing smile, the combination of it and his sudden joblessness tugs at something in his brain, brings back the conversation they had last week.
“Now, if you didn’t have a job then I’d be worried. I’m not cut out for all the responsibility of being the breadwinner princess.”
He doesn’t have a job. He’ll have to live off Eddie and what little savings he has left. Become a responsibility Eddie doesn’t want, a burden probably.
“Worst case scenario we move back”, “you’ll be able to come back if you need to.”
If he leaves now he won’t be able to come back.
Gareths words play back in his mind too.
“if you have any doubts at all, you can’t go.”, “it will break him more if you go, let him think it’s gonna work and then leave, then if you don’t go at all.”
“I’m not going,” Steve hears himself say as he steps back from the hand Eddie reaches out to him.
“You’re not-“ Eddie looks so confused. “Like today? Do you need extra time? We can postpone by a couple of days but-“
He’s not getting it. Steve interrupts him, needs to make him understand because he can’t listen to him try to come up with solutions.
“No, Eddie. I’m not going it all.”
The words feel wrong in his mouth but he forces them out anyways.
“What do you mean?” Eddie asks and it fucking ruins him. He feels his carefully blank expression break, despair showing through.
“I can’t leave Hawkins, the kids,” he has to look away from Eddie as he says this. Knows it’s the only thing Eddie won’t question, knows Eddie thinks he doesn’t mean as much to Steve as the kids do. “They need me.”
“When did you decide you weren’t going?” Eddie asks and Steve didn’t know it was possible but he breaks even more from that, from Eddie not fighting him.
I didn’t, he thinks, I don’t know why I’m saying this now. If you ask me to stop and just go with you I will.
“A couple of days ago,” he lies.
It’s silent then, just their breathing and the distant sound of cars down the street being heard. Eventually, Eddie breaks it.
“Steve?”
His voice cracks in the middle. Steve can hear the plea for him to take it all back and he nearly does, has to swallow the words creeping up his throat before they get out.
“I’m sorry,” he says instead. He turns around, closing the door behind him. Destroying their future and breaking the last bit of his heart in the process.
He doesn’t get more than two steps into the house before his legs give out beneath him. He stays there, sitting on the floor for what feels like forever.
After some time he hears a car drive away and he knows Eddie has left. He feels silent tears start streaming down his face that soon turns into sobs. Making him curl in on himself and gasp for air.
He doesn’t know how long he stays there, crying until he can’t anymore and then just sitting there. But after a while, he’s interrupted by a loud ringing. For the third time in less than twenty-four hours he picks up the god-forsaken phone.
“Hello?” He rasps, his voice dull and raw from crying.
“Steven. You made the right decision and stayed I take it?” His mother asks.
“Yes.” He says and hangs up on her.
#happy ending never got written but they end up happy and maybe on day i'll return to this and write it#once again i apologize for any typos mistakes in general etc I've read through it I swear#part one is like 800 words and this is over 3k idk what happened okay#actually i do i had to fit in more scenes#so uh yeah#there will still be a happy ending i promise but now you get where steve is coming from which is mainly a panic attack tbh#steve baby do not make big decisions while mid anxiety shut down#also talk to people <3#eddie you know better than to reassure someone because you both have jobs? what are you doing???#it's 5am i swear if this does not show up in the tags ill cry#steddie#steddie ficlet#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#my writing#my post#steddie angst#dels steddie thoughts
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Mirror, mirror, on the wall...
Who's the fairest of them all?
#lowkey cringy caption but I thought it was fitting given the context#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original character#who I still haven't figured out a tag system for lmao#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#alternative title: what a difference half a lifetime can make#summiya at 18/19 vs summiya at 34/35 is like night and day. she barely even looks like herself anymore#or maybe.. she looks more like herself than she ever did? what came before wasn't her. it was an empty porcelain doll devoid of personality#hiding the rotten nature underneath that's been steadily seeping through#and now that she has been thoroughly destroyed her outward appearance finally reflects what she was like inside all along#but just as she manages to convince herself of it. she looks in the mirror and refuses to accept that this is who she really is#where did that gorgeous girl who was so excited for her wedding day go? or the one who lit up upon being showered with compliments?#what happened to them? to her? how did she sink so low?#she was supposed to be better than this... better than her siblings. she was always better than Zaheer and Aiza#but now she's easily the worst of the free. their betrayal doesn't even compare#she deserves death for what she did. she looks at the bruising on her throat and wonders why it wasn't enough#why he didn't press just a little harder. then at least she wouldn't have to live with the shame#how awful of her to wish for that. she is getting what was coming to her. she did all of that for the shame. it is her punishment#she doesn't get the mercy of dying and escaping the consequences of her actions#she is by no means innocent. what's happening now is simply justice being enacted. she's sure of it#she's alone and ruined and miserable. having driven away everyone who could have possibly cared for her. not that anyone did#perhaps it's better that way. maybe then no one else will look at her and realise just how different she looks from her younger self#she wasn't happy back then either but she was content. she was taking the first step towarcs the perfect life she was promised#now that very save perfect life is crashing and burning all around her. perhaps it was inevitable. it was always going to end this way#(sleepy tags so I apologise if they make no sense whatsoever or are just rehashes of stuff I've said before. I'm tired. gonna go to bed now)#oh. before I forget though:#injury tw#bruises tw
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Flat colors down!
Now it's just line cleanup, hands, and shading.
#steam powered giraffe#spg#upgrade spg#the jon spg#art process#hoooOOOOOOOOOOOOO buddy#I'm not to nervous about shading the clothes#but I know the faces will take a hot minute#if I get to it every day#then i can finish this in 3 days#can't promise that it'll be in a row though#also trying to be better about appropriately tagging my own stuff because I only found out like a month ago that tags can be used to filter#through MY OWN content#forgive me for being slow#I used the wrong form of too in one of the tags but I’m on mobile so I can’t go back and fix it without trying too hard#my stuff
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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i think. everyone should stop reading my most popular fics that aren't really that good and start reading the ones with 18 kudos that are significantly better
#this is about (just wanna be) somebody i'm proud of#yes i had fun writing it. but it's REALLY NOT THAT GOOD#also i cannot stress this enough: that fic was a fluke#it's NOT a good example of what i write. guys i'm so much better at the angsty character study fics#i promise i actually can get proper characterization. i had to sacrifice some of that for the light-hearted stupid cheesy premise#alas#no one in fandom actually cares about characterization#ngl sometimes i even wonder what the point of writing stuff in-character is if the flat#'characters reduced to a single trait that they may or may not even possess'#fics will ALWAYS end up being more popular than the ones with good characterization#anyway i know why the 18 kudos one is so low. it's the mcd tag. AND it's a gen fic centered around a character no one cares about#i wasn't expecting that one to do well#but it does suck that like. my most popular fics will never actually be my best ones#it's the same with bsd but THAT'S a whole other story#that's the phenomenon of everyone reducing bsd to the skk show and not giving the time of day to fics centered around anyone else#do u guys realize there are SO many other INCREDIBLE characters and dynamics????#like i was doing that bsd fic rec event on twt and almost all of the fics recced were skk#meanwhile i was searching for anything NOT skk bc idk other ships and characters deserve appreciation too??#and i don't even read much skk bc it's so hard to find anything that's. like. ACTUALLY good.#anyway. i don't actually care if you read somebody i'm proud of#but i hate that that's like. one of my most popular fics by a longshot#i have stuff that is so much better that people won't even glance at bc it's not tagged with the most popular m/m ship in the fandom#hello grace here
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To Catch a Hero’s Giggle
Alternative Title: Golden Child
Kanene’s Notes: This fic is heavily inspired by This Headcanon that is basically that Hero has a natural quiet laughter and everyone likes to pretend that they ‘stole’ his giggles while tickling him
Warnings: This one has a lot of tickles dfghjhgfgh. Angst with a happy ending. Hurt/Comfort. Raspberries. Lee!Hero and Ler!Sunny&Ler!Kel. Around 3.500 words.
[~*~]
The top is a lonely place.
Actually, thinking about where he is - in the highest spot - feels weirdly frustrating. This numb feeling as he stared at the good grade on his newest text, the lack of even a small sparkle of proudness or relief at knowing that he did it again, the neutral tune of his face, the constant tiredness on his bones… none of this felt like the top. Like the best version of himself, like the amazingness and peak of development that he could achieve.
Yet, that was what everyone around him told that it was his place. The top of his class. The top of the students. The top of his school.
Hero had listened to it for years now, he had even fought with all his power for the title. And still he wondered when it would ever begin to make sense for him, to mean something for him.
(He wondered when he would look at the mirror with the same shine of pride and trust that his teachers and parents had when talking to him.)
"Hey, Hero! How did you do?"
Hero didn't grimace, because that was his classmate and she was nice. In any other and every other situation that didn’t involve school or grades, she was really nice.
Unluckily for him, that was not the case today.
"How did you do?" A smile, a curious look. Usually that would be enough to trail the attention away.
"I got a D! Not as brilliant as you, I guess, but still enough to pass so yeah!"
"D is still a good grade. I am glad you got it!"
"Hm mm, but still you're not running away from the question. Tell me, what did you get?"
His hand began scratching the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair. "Ah, nothing much, just a B." He chuckled in good humor.
"Nothing much? Hero, I would commit crimes for your grades! Uuuurg, and you don't even look happy for it, too. Come on, I would be shooting fireworks if I was you right now. Is being that good just so normal for you, golden student, that you don't even care about them anymore?"
Words appeared and died in his tongue. A mix of "You’re not me" and "but I don't feel happy" and "Please don't call me that". Instead, he smiled and opened his mouth to say something (anything).
Scratch, scratch, scratch. He could almost feel the spotlight. It was starting to irritate, burn his skin.
Another classmate cut them.
"Hey, hey, Heroooo, my man!" That was June. She was nice and the arm that he slipped across his shoulders in a half hug made warmth spread across the touch. She was nice. "Sorry for cutting you short but I really need you to explain the subject of our Literature test like right now."
His eyes ran at the clock above the white board on the room. It was lunchtime, their literature test would be in the period right after it.
"Of course!" Smile. Suddenly, he was back at his comfort zone, with notes and books and subjects that don’t make any sense, but when you start to stare at them long enough with a tilted head you can start to see the connections. "Do you have any questions in mind? What was the part you got the most confused?"
In a blink his own literature notebook was on his hands, pages being fastly flipped as the boy looked for where his notes were.
Silence. The arm slipped from his shoulders.
Hero looked up. June laughed, with a tiny drop of awkwardness and bit her thumb with a dangerous smile as she avoided the other's eyes.
"Everything."
Hero stopped. Blinked. There was a light tremble in his words.
"The seven chapters about art schools?"
"Yep." She popped the p. "And the historical context. And the authors. And characteristics." Hero must have shown a glimpse of the dread he was feeling inside because soon June was holding his hand and kneeling on the not-so-clean-and-where-did-all-this-ink-even-came-from-floor. "Please, Hero, please! I know that I haven't studied anything but you're so great at teaching. I will owe you that one, please!"
"Ok! Ok!" Hero fumbled a bit with his own hands, feeling a mix of relief to take over his movements. No one should be so desperate to get his help. And how could he even say no to her? "It's fine, it is a very long subject but we have one hour before the class so I think we can cover a bit more than the basics."
His face became more serious, determinated eyes. "Get your book. We're going to meet on the tree next to the entrance, alright?"
"Perfect!" June jumped in the same place. "Thank you so much, Hero!"
"It is fine." And it really was, Hero loved to teach. But…"I am always happy to help, but next time, please ask me a day or two before the test."
"Of course, dude!" And she was already out the door.
Deep sigh. Hero looked at the clock. Actually, he took like one week to study all that stuff, however, maybe if he got the main historical events and explained how those affected the literature, architecture and worldview of each age, perhaps he could summon the main points of everything.
Another minute ticked by. Hero got his sandwich from his bag, already opening and taking a bite. Today was going to be a long day.
At least June was truly nice.
(...)
The thing about having Sunny as a neighbor is that sometimes he was just… there.
Hero, in his spot laid on the floorboards of his room - having fallen there after coming back from school and realizing that Kel was still out with the basketball group, - stared wide eyed at the deep dark eyes that curiously peaked at him from above. As soon as his brain clicked and he recognized the boy, however, his fast heartbeats began to calm down.
“Sunny!” He didn’t really want to get up, the cold floor soaking through his clothes and resting on his skin making all his muscles relax and keeping his mind from floating away. Still, he sat and turned around to stare at the younger with a pleasant quirk of lips. “Did you come to see Kel? He is still at his basketball practice. I am sure that you can still find him if you go to the park.”
Sunny looked back at him, his face was less pale and his movements less sluggish. It was good to actually see him more often, see the light come back bit by bit in his eyes. The same attentive eyes that fixed their attention at the taller boy, the silence stretching across the room before Sunny seemed to arrive at a conclusion, lightly nodding his head before popping himself on the floor right at his side.
He pulled his knees up and rested his chin on them and Hero opened his mouth, wanting, but not knowing how to explain that he really wasn’t a fun company right now.
“Heh. Sunny, I-”
A hand rested on his. The cold fingers patting his hand twice before a phone screen was basically shoved in his face.
Hero blinked, chuckled and adjusted himself to see what was on the device. It was a video of a small duck shaking himself and walking excitedly behind its owner with a light and quick ‘pap pap pap’.
He smiled, much more naturally this time, and pretended to not notice how thick with emotion was his voice. “This is cute.”
Sunny nodded, seeming content with himself, before turning back to watch something else. Probably more videos with ducks.
“Right.” Hero mumbled for anyone in particular. Deep breath. “Alright.”
Something hot ran across his cheek. And another. And another. And another.
It felt like burning, almost as bad as his eyes. Almost as annoying as the itch on his nose, the dryness of his throat.
Still, the floorboards were cold. They were brown and smooth and filled with dents wherever the tip of his fingers passes, result of years and years of both him and Kel having more accidents than the normal amount for two boys with inexplicable clumsy tendencies.
Still, there was a cold hand on his and the sound of puppies ‘yip yap yap’ and ducks ‘pap pap pap’ in the air smiling at it felt a bit easier.
Breathe.
Hero stared at the ceiling for a pieces of minutes, letting himself slowly close his eyes as his breathing got slower.
What a long day.
(...)
He opened his eyes, rubbing them and yawning as the consciousness slowly creeped back to his senses. His gaze travelled to the window, confirming that it was still afternoon and that possibly didn’t doze off for more than an hour.
Stretching on the floor, the older one realized that Sunny was still there, unfolding from the tight ball he usually imitated when sitting down and answering his gaze with his own curious eyes.
Hero smiled.
Sunny was a good friend.
His smile quickly turned into a grin.
“Sunny. There is something on your face, come here for a second.”
One blink, two blinks, Sunny came closer. Hero tried to not let his plan ( or mischief) show too much on his face.
“Just a little bit closer.”
He opened his arms, Sunny moved to attend his request. Hero’s arms got closer and…
Bam!
*HERO captures you in a hug!*
With a squeak, Sunny trash for a second before realizing what was happening and letting himself fall on the floor with a small smile, amused titters making his shoulders bounce for a bit before he let himself be hugged like a teddy bear with no complaints.
“Thank you, Sunny. You’re a really good friend.”
The younger boy didn’t answer him, but it didn’t matter. The silence that fell on them wasn’t in any way awkward. There was no need for words when all of his acts and little expressions showed how much Sunny cared.
Hero only kept him in the embrace for a couple more of seconds, giving the boy a quick squeeze before letting him go as a dazzling smile took over his face. Now it was time for him to show a bit how he cared about the younger too.
That was enough sulking for one day.
“Kel still hasn't arrived, huh? What if we both play a game then? I am sure we still have that old Spaceboy videogame where you can race his-”
“Another game.”
The voice was low, but for the way that made him immediately stop right on his tracks could be the loudest shout to ever exist. Hero tried to not let the immense wave of pride that filled his chest everytime Sunny decided to express his opinion show in his expression.
“Do you want to play another game?”
Sunny nodded, lightly pushing Hero’s shoulder so he would be laying down again. Hero let himself fall with an amused light in his face.
How could he deny that boy anything, really.
“What game is it?”
Sunny shrugged, as if not sure, he didn’t wonder about it too much, however, the shorter quickly calling his attention by lightly shaking his hands and lifting them.
Hero tilted his head, confused and still amused. Kids nowadays are so fun.
Sunny repeated the movement.
“Ah!” Finally, it clicked. Hero lifted his own arms. Was this a new version of Worm? He and Kel used to play it all the time as kids, even though his mother never seemed excited in seeing her two sons wiggling around the floor like two invertebrate beings. “Like this?”
The younger nodded, patting the arms for a good measure and a clear message of ‘stay’.
Then he lifted his own hands again, Hero watched attentively, ready to follow the instructions to the next step of the game.
That was the moment Sunny shoved his hands on his sides.
The sound that came out of his mouth was a half gasp and a half squeal, arms immediately crashing down in an attempt to catch and stop the onslaught of squeezes and pinches that were being delivered all across the ticklish skin.
“Suhuhunny!!” As quick as the giggling came, it went away, being immediately replaced airy titters and low, almost inaudible laughter, especially as Sunny spidered his nimbly fingers upwards in order to escape the hands that tried to pry him away, each prod and poke on his sensitive ribs making the older one arch his back and let out a single high pitched squeak that made his entire face explode in warmth. “W-why!”
Sunny only hummed contently, letting his hands rest cozy and snug on his highest ribs, the tip of his fingers just scratching the tip of his armpits while the thumbs kneaded the ribs with energy. Soon enough more and more loud high pitched squeals and squeaks began breaking the quietness of his laughter only for Hero to descend right back and his hysterical airy giggles all over again, arms clued on his sides, torso squirming from a side to another in lazy, futile wiggles that did nothing to actually stop the sudden tickle attack.
“Got you.” Sunny’s voice was as calm as ever, with plenty of a playful joy blossoming on it freely. “I will steal all of your giggles for myself…”
His attack went back to his sides, however instead of maddening squeezes or killer pinches, Sunny simply laid his hands on the skin and vibrated.
Hero jumped, merely wheezing before inaudible snickers that made his shoulders bounce with giddiness bubbly right out of his lips.
“Got them. They’re mine now.” Hero almost wished that his laughter was as loud and boisterous as Kel’s just so it wouldn’t be so easy to listen to Sunny’s teasy remarks, which weren’t even that teasy in the first place, lacking the smugness Aubrey had during her tickle attacks or Kel’s mischievous pokes of fun, but his words right now sounded just so sincerely happy that all that Hero could do at the this was let out an embarrassing snort that made his cheeks even more warm, the gigantic smile plastered on his face getting wobblier.
Especially as he heard a voice from his doorway.
“Are we tickling Hero?”
The immediate cry of “No!” that flew from his voice was quickly subdued by the fact that the younger violin player decided to change his technique to a skilled scribbling that concentrated too much on the spot where his sides connected with his stomach to be a coincidence. The word died in the air just as Hero’s bouncy snickers got even bouncier and even snickery, Sunny’s affirmative hum instead filling the room.
“Great!”
“Don’t!” Hero managed to slip in between his chuckles, opening a watery eye just to face the one thousand watts smirk of his younger brother, a smirk full of promises of danger and his very immediate doom. His brain run though arguments to find anything, anything promising enough to discourage Kel from helping Sunny but all he got was the same mantra of “it tickles it tickles it ticklesitreallytickles” that scrambled his thoughts any time that wiggly fingers even looked at his direction.
“I’m going to-” Wheeze.
“I can’t-” Yelp.
“When I-” A hiccup. More airy giggles.
Finally, he acquiesced, accepting his fate. “Plehehehease.”
“You’re tickling his sides? Nice idea, Sunny! That is a very good spot.” Kel carelessly threw his bag somewhere on the floor running to sit right at his brother’s sides, taking full advantage of the situation where Hero couldn’t scold him for that. “But you have to see his reactions when I tickle his legs! It’s like a super secret spot that can get him crazy every single time!”
Hero actually jumped when a hand lifted his leg, a few half-heartedly kicks with no real effort showing his struggle as he shook his head in protest.
“He always gets all squirmy when I do that but he never actually tells me to stop.” Kel ‘whispered’ (which, for Kel’s standard, was a lowered shout). “Even when he kicks me it’s so light that I can barely feel it. I think that he really doesn’t mind being tickled but I don’t tell him that I know or he would be really embarrassed.”
Sunny seriously nodded in understanding. Hero wondered if his face was trying to melt with how hot it was. Maybe if he tried enough he could be able to get that invisibility power he always wanted as a kid.
He kicked again.
“Watch this.” Kel whispered to Sunny, who decided to stop his own attack so the taller could get some interrupted oxygen. Two sets of watchful eyes turned in Hero’s direction. “Ha! This one wasn’t even close, Hero. Try again!” And then Kel’s hand found his calf and began kneading.
The force of the crackle that was fished from his throat made Hero shoot his head backwards, arms failing around for a couple of seconds before he fell back on the floor, quiet, fast and impossible to hide began dancing around in the room like a sweet melody.
“Ok, ok!” Kel, like the little demon he is, laughed together with him. “Now you just need to do this and…” His fingers crawled a few inches closer to his knee, attacking the spot with squeezes and pinches non stop. A snort shot in the air. And another. And another. And another. “Tcharam!! A snorty piggie coming right up.”
“Kehehehel! Don’t!”
“Make me.” Kel raspberried at him, suddenly stopping the banter when he saw his neighbor moving like he was snatching something out of thin air. “Eh? Did you catch a mosquito?”
Sunny shook his head, a grin on his face. Hero turned his attention to him as well when the boy repeated the gesture.
“I am catching Hero’s snorts.”
“Ohohoho my gohohod.” Sunny telegraphed his movements enough that when the oldest’s protest began disappearing in a wheezy crackle he was already “snatching” it from the air. “Stohohohop!”
“Ah! I get it! But you can’t have only his snorts, Sunny. Look! I can make him do other sounds too.”
Suddenly there were scritchess and scratches worming their way on the extremely, awfully, horribly ticklish skin under his knee, giving every inch of it a special attention as more and more silly sounds fell in flocks from his lips.
“There is a giggle!”
“And a yelp!”
“Quick, catch this squeak, it’s already floating away.”
As Kel and Sunny kept their play pretend, Hero started to feel like he was going to explode, and, in an unexpected bound of energy the flew forward and catched Kel’s hands, holding them with a triumphant grin - which was cracking at the corners with leftover chuckles, it’s true, but still - as he stared down at the brother in front of him.
“Heyyy, Hero.” Kel smiled nervously. “I, huh, er, uh…”
“Hi, Kel.” He was careful enough to put a playful growl at the end of the younger’s name. “Missed your old friend, the Tickle Monster?”
“Eek! Aaaaah!! He is going to tickle me! Sunny!”
“Don’t worry, the Tickle Monster has two hands. One for each ticklish boOOOY!”
A sensation exploded across his senses. A buzzing that began in the back of his neck and spread like a tickly electricity across all his nerves, teasing his ears, dancing on his chin, zig zagging over his spine and humming over his torso.
“Yes! Get him, Sunny! More raspberries until the Tickle Monster is defeated!”
Quickly another raspberry followed the first, and then another and another over and over again, all of them unfairly attacking his unprotected neck. For a moment Hero lost himself in uncontrollable belly laughter, in smiles, in airy snickers, teetery titters and in a maddening sensation that made everything else but the constant idea that “It tickles!” disappear from his mind in a blink.
After some time, he was tapping the floor, happy tears running on his cheeks and a wheezy “enohohohough” flying from his lips as the tickling went away. Sunny running to stay at Kel’s side as his friend called him for a winning high five.
“We did it. We defeated him!” Kel’s excited voice made amusement fill his chest. Kids are so fun nowadays. “Your raspberry attack was a good idea.”
Breathe in. Breathe out. Giggle giggle giggle.
“But, eh, why were we tickling Hero?”
At this, Hero’s head shoot upwards, body slowly unfolding from the defensive ball it tried to mimic to watch Sunny with an equally curious gaze.
The shortest eyes glanced at his form for a bit, but before Hero could think anything out of it (was he going to tell-) Sunny just shrugged.
Silence.
“Ok! Hey, Sunny, since you’re here, we should play a game!”
Their neighbor grinned, just the tiniest tiny bit.
Hero wondered if he, as a good older brother, should warn Kel.
“Do you have any idea of a good one?”
But nah. Hero sighed - a mix of relief and a calm contentment that spilled from his soul and filled his heart. He would let them have their fun.
#I begin thinking about a giggly Hero and something feral unblocked inside my soul#Also loved the idea of Hero receiving one (1) piece of comfort from Sunny and IMMEDIATELY going:#'okay okay that is enough now it's time for YOU to receive the attention' and Sunny looked in his eyes and went 'no <3'#and then proceeded to tickle him. honestly so valid <3#Lee!Hero#Ticklish!Hero#Ler!Sunny#Ler!Kel#ALSO KEL AND SUNNY WORKING TOGETHER WAS ONE OF MY FAV INTERACTIONS TO WRITE THEY ARE SO AMAZING TOGETHER <3 <3 <33#Omori tickles#Omori tickling#You can pry Hero with silent laughter from my dead cold hands#cheer up tickles#All I can think is Sunny in the end looking at Kel and being like :] ...... >:]#anyways moe personal tags now#Crazy how I had classmates that actually got *angry* at me because I didn't was ''''happy enough''' because of my grades. pretty messed up#Also if you relate a bit w that struggle.... it gets better. I promise. It takes some time and it takes we being kinder to ourselves#but it really gets easier. One day you will look behind and be porud of yourself for enduring all you endured. for real#you're really cool bean <3#Also be careful or sunny might appear and get u ya know jhgfdfghjjw#Kanene's fic#Kanene's fanfic
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