#(Me posting 3 long pages of text on my Instagram story)

[lpsgirl109]

Like on the one hand MDW and MFA are similar in the way the protagonists are a group of children on the other hand I saw someone genuinely say that Bruno is based on Chris Taylor because "they're both the mean kids!" and it made me short circuit

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Closed Position: Week 5 (Rumba Part 3)

Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo x OFC (Katarina)

Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition, Dancing with the Stars, would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble. 

Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on the show to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo. 

Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.

Chapter Word Count: 13.5k

👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence (not by or toward Dieter), past alcohol abuse, and past drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.

👉 Chapter Warnings: Dieter being a menace, improper use of a seat belt, Dieter with a guitar, serious sexual tension, improper ballroom dancing, Dieter's mouth, blasphemy (because of Dieter's mouth), smut, aftercare, fluff, and maybe a smidge of angst

Chapter Quote: “You know you wanna do it with me. Let’s cause a scene.” 

Kat's POV

On Friday, I awoke sweaty and aroused. I was almost certain I had been having a sex dream…about Dieter. That was a new experience. I was equal parts mortified and angry that the alarm woke me up before the climax. 

I sat up and stretched before reaching over to grab my phone and water bottle from the nightstand, unscrewing the lid and taking a long drink as I unlocked my phone. I turned my attention to email first, opening the app to make sure I didn’t have any new marching orders from Stacia and Joe. I didn’t, but there was an email from the medical clinic indicating that my test results were now available. I figured everything was probably fine, but that didn’t make it any less nerve wracking as I logged into their portal to check. I sighed in relief as I skimmed down the page, all negative. At least that was one less thing to worry about. I closed that app, then noticed there were new Instagram notifications. Dieter had apparently posted a couple of new stories. The first was a picture he had taken of me last night before dinner. I balked when I saw the included text said “My dance partner is hotter than yours,” with the hashtag #YourLoss. 

(Click pics to enlarge. More after the jump.)

That didn’t do anything to help my current state of arousal. The fact that he absolutely did not give a fuck was a serious turn on. However, I knew it was going to cause some raised eyebrows.

I sent a quick reply to the story, “Dieter, seriously?🤦🏻‍♀️😂���

My eyes rolled at his ridiculousness as I moved to take another drink of my water. I nearly choked, spilling half of it down the front of my shirt as his next story popped up on the screen. It was a mirror selfie of him sitting on the edge of the bed wearing nothing but his black boxer briefs and brown leather jacket. Once I finally stopped coughing, I audibly groaned. He looked so fucking good. Without a second thought, I took a screenshot, just as there was a knock at my door. I quickly locked my phone as I yelled “come in”, realizing too late that I probably looked like a hot mess. Dieter popped his head around the door, “Hey sleeping beauty…what in the world happened to you?”

I looked down at my shirt and rubbed aimlessly, “I spilled my water.” Because of you, you beautiful fucking tease. “What’s up?”

He looked amused, “I’m gonna go grab us some breakfast. I’ll be back.”

I gave him a deadpan stare, “I hope you found your pants.” 

He snorted, “Unfortunately for you, I did.”  

Fucker. I narrowed my eyes and chucked a pillow toward his face, “Shut up. Get out of here.” 

He laughed loudly as he pulled the door shut behind him. I heard the main door to the suite open and close a few minutes later. I screwed the lid back on my water and put it on the nightstand, huffing in frustration as I fell back onto the bed. His mere existence was making me crazy. At least we only had two days left here because I wasn’t sure how much more I could handle. I sighed, pulling up the screenshot of his story. Something about it caused the ache between my thighs to become almost painful. 

I scoffed, “Oh fuck this. I can’t take it anymore.”

I tossed my phone down beside me, then settled back into the pillow and closed my eyes. One hand sliding up my shirt to knead my breast while the other found its way under the waistband of my sleep shorts. I was soaking wet to the point that it was embarrassing. I couldn’t remember the last time I was this aroused. It was almost shocking considering it was over something so small. Or was it? Maybe it had just been building all week and was finally at a breaking point. 

I fought it at first, trying to think of anything but Dieter, but my mind kept going back to him sitting on the edge of the bed, thick thighs spread wide with that smoldering look on his face. Then my thoughts shifted to his large hands being the ones touching me. Now knowing how good he was with his hands had me craving his touch over every inch of my skin. I could only imagine how good it would feel for him to massage other parts of my body. Something told me he wouldn’t disappoint. 

I could feel the tension building, stretching so tight that it had me sweaty and gasping for air, but wouldn’t progress further than that. I was stuck on the edge, unable to finish. I think part of me knew allowing my thoughts to wander down this path was a terrible idea and was still fighting it. I stopped my ministrations, huffing loudly from frustration. Setting up, I sought out my suitcase to find the small vibrator I had brought. I should’ve just started with that. 

After searching it out, I settled into bed again, trying to get back in my zone with light touches, working my way up to it. Now that I allowed myself to freely think of Dieter, I seemed to get to the edge a lot quicker this time. Just as I turned the vibrator on, I heard the front door open and slam shut, followed by Dieter yelling, “Food’s here!”  

I turned the vibrator off and shoved it under my pillow, kicking my legs, groaning, and wanting to cry. How the hell is he back already? If I didn’t do something about this soon, I was going to spontaneously combust.

I rolled out of bed, pulling my hair up into a messy bun as I walked out into the living room. Dieter stared at me with furrowed brows. 

“You good? You look flushed…again.” 

Fuck. “Y-Yeah, I was just doing some yoga.” 

His brows arched, “You could do that in here ya know…where there’s more space. I promise I won’t gawk…too much…but maybe avoid the downward dog. I don’t need to see that.” 

I could feel the wetness on the inside of my thighs, suddenly thinking about how a little yoga session could turn dirty really fast under the right circumstances. 

I shook my head to clear that thought, remembering his last comment. 

“Why don’t you need to see that?” I asked. 

His face turned pink as he chuckled nervously, “Seriously? I’ve already told you that you have a nice ass. I wouldn’t be able to look away.” 

So, he’s an ass man. Got it. I snorted, “Well, at least you’re honest.” 

My eyes raked over the spread of food that he was now pulling out of bags, “Where did you go for all of this? That was super-fast.”

“There’s a diner just around the corner. I called it in and it was ready to go when I got there.” 

I nodded. That explains it. Of all days to get something quick…damn him. 

We sat down to eat. It took everything in me not to be distracted by the burning urge at my core. It eventually passed as we discussed the day’s schedule. Then I had to rush and get ready to head to the studio with him. It was dress rehearsal day, which I was pretty excited about. I couldn’t wait to see Dieter in action. 

Most of my day was spent standing around, watching Dieter and the cast go through the skits. During breaks he would come over to ask me for feedback. Overall I thought he was doing amazing. The way he could just turn it on and go into character fascinated me. He was so witty, and his timing was spot on. I could already tell the show was going to go well if it turned out to be anything like the dress rehearsals. I did appreciate that he took any suggestions I made as being constructive. He didn’t seem offended and even welcomed the input, giving my ideas a try on the next run through. 

By lunchtime, I was beginning to feel achy. The week’s chaotic schedule was catching up to me and I had hardly taken any self-care measures to avoid it. I’m sure the pent up tension I had been feeling didn’t help matters either. 

Dieter came to sit next to me at the table with our DoorDash delivery and began pulling food out of the bag as he eyed me popping two anti-inflammatory tablets. 

“You feeling ok?” he asked.

I slumped back in my seat and puffed air out through my cheeks, “Yeah…I’m just getting a little run down. My joints are protesting and determined to ruin my day. I think I may take advantage of that soaking tub tonight. It might help.” 

Dieter gave me a sympathetic look, “Anything I can do to help? I can go get you some herbal tea. Turmeric, ginger, and white willow bark are good anti-inflammatories. I drink those when my back bothers me.”

I was surprised he offered such a thing, but I really shouldn’t have been. The man knows his plants, of course that would carry over to herbal remedies. He also seemed to have a tendency to try and take care of me. 

I reached over and squeezed his knee, “Thank you, but I’ll be fine…I think. I’ll keep it in mind though.”

He looked disappointed as he took a bite of his sub sandwich, chewing thoughtfully for a moment.

“We’ve still got a few more skits to rehearse. Why don’t you go relax in my dressing room for a bit…get off your feet…we can do the monologue run through last.” 

I made a pouty face as I picked at my sandwich, “But then I won’t get to watch you rehearse.”

“I mean…you don’t have to, it was only a suggestion…just wanna make sure you're not hurting. I need you on top of your game after all.” 

I smiled at his meager attempt at a joke, “You know what, I may actually take you up on that offer. At least long enough for the pain meds to kick in.” I would never admit it to him, but I was actually starting to ache bad enough that it was getting hard to ignore. 

He nodded, “Good.”

That seemed to placate him for now. I did appreciate his concern. At least he showed me that he cared. It was more than Alec ever did. 

After I finished my sandwich, I stood and perched against the table beside Dieter, who was now scrolling on his phone.

“How long do you think it’ll take you all to finish up?”

Without looking up from his phone, his hand reached out toward me, slipping around my lower back before pulling me into his side. His hand came to rest on my hip as he finally looked up at me from where he was still sitting in the chair. 

It took me off guard, but I didn’t hate it. I responded by leaning into him and resting my hand at the nape of his neck. My fingers inched toward his curls, hesitating briefly before moving to scratch lightly at his scalp. It had to be one of the most casually intimate interactions we had ever had. I wanted more. 

When our eyes met, my breath hitched. God, he’s so fucking beautiful. I could feel his thumb running across the small area of exposed skin where my shirt had ridden up, causing goosebumps to form over my entire body. It would be so easy to crawl into his lap and kiss him right now. I exhaled slowly, attempting to focus my thoughts on something else. 

Dieter seemed to have been momentarily distracted too, but eventually gave me a small smile, seeming to remember that I had asked him a question. 

“I’ll come get you during our next break. Feel free to take a nap if you want. The leather sofa is pretty comfortable, but I can’t promise how clean it is. No telling who has been in that room…” 

I snorted out a laugh, “Noted.” 

I moved to leave, but his hand tightened on my hip. His gaze turned more intense, “Promise you’ll let me know if you need anything? I’ll go get whatever you want.” 

I smiled at him and ran my fingers through the top of his hair, brushing it away from his eyes. It felt strangely satisfying to do. “Don’t worry, I will. I promise. It’s not that bad, really.” 

He studied my face for a moment, seemingly satisfied with my response before dropping his arm. I was suddenly feeling much better and didn’t want to leave him after that exchange, but I didn’t want to try and explain my sudden recovery because it had everything to do with him. 

After that, I made my way to his dressing room and immediately sunk down onto the plushy leather sofa. There was a blanket draped over the back that seemed questionable, but I sort of didn’t care, wrapping myself up in it as I settled in for a nap. I was out as soon as I laid my head down. Hazy dreams that I wouldn’t remember followed. Only traces of the way it made me feel would remain - warm, safe, loved, and blissfully happy.   

I awoke sometime later to Dieter sitting on the edge of the couch beside me, his hand on my hip giving a gentle shake. He was looking at me with a smirk as I groaned and wiped the sleep from my eyes. 

“Time to wake up, sleeping beauty. How you feeling?”

I moved to sit up, his hand sliding down to rest on the side of my thigh in the process. 

“Better, I think. I didn’t realize how badly I needed that.”

He nodded, “Yeah, I think we’ve both been a little sleep deprived the last few days.”

He stood, “You ready to go over the monologue?” 

I laughed nervously, “I suppose. This is about to be a disaster…”

Dieter shook his head, “Nope, you’ve got this. Just focus on me and the cue cards if you need them. Forget anyone else is in the room.”

That’s easy to do. I do it often enough. I stood and followed him out to the stage, both of us taking our places. The first time through was…rough. By the fourth time, I relaxed into it some, creating a playful banter between us, which was the goal. Dieter’s facial expressions to my joking insults were so on point. It was hard for me to keep from laughing. I really hoped I could keep it together during the live shows. The fifth and final time, we managed to nail it, which left me feeling much more confident about the whole thing. 

Dieter and I were standing just in front of the stage exchanging notes on our last run through when one of the writers, Judy, came over and invited us out for open mic night at a local blues club. I knew there would probably be alcohol there, so I was tempted to decline. I glanced over at Dieter with a questioning look, “I’ll leave that up to you.” 

Dieter shrugged, “We could spare a couple of hours, right? I wouldn’t mind getting you up on stage...” A mischievous grin was now plastered across his face as I started to shake my head. 

“Nope. Not happening, Bravo.” 

Judy’s eyes lit up, “Wait, do you sing?”

Dieter bumped his shoulder against mine, still smiling, “She sings and plays. She’s amazing.” 

I was still shaking my head, “Dieter, no. I refuse.” 

He put an arm around my shoulders, hugging me against his side as he leaned in close to my ear, “I’ll do it if you will.” 

I sighed, “Now you’re playing dirty…asshole.” 

Dieter snorted out a laugh as Judy grabbed my arm, “Come on Kat, it’ll be a good time. It would be amazing to see you two do something like that together.” 

I puffed air out of my cheeks, “Alright fine. We can go…but I’m not making any promises.” 

Dieter bear hugged me, shaking me from side to side as he yelled “Yaaaaasss” a little louder than necessary. I laughed and rolled my eyes at his enthusiasm. Judy snickered at Dieter’s antics, “Great, I’ll let everyone know you’re coming. You can share a ride with us if you don’t mind being squished in. It’s not that far away.”

Dieter glanced over at me, a smirk on his lips, “That’s fine, Kat can sit on my lap if need be.” 

Fucking hell. Why is he torturing me like this? I narrowed my eyes on him as Judy chuckled, “Cool, I’ll go gather everyone up.” 

After she walked away, I leaned over to Dieter and quietly asked, “You sure this is ok? You know they’ll probably be drinking…”

He sighed, “I’m gonna have to be around it at some point. It’s inevitable.” He gave me a soft smile as he took my hand and entwined his fingers with mine, “Besides…you’re gonna be there with me, so I’ll be fine.” 

His eyes crinkled around the edges as his smile grew. I could tell that he believed what he was saying. It caused butterflies to form in my stomach when I considered the possible implications behind his words. 

A short time later, a group of us squished into the back of a black SUV. Dieter sat in the very back corner. I hopped in behind him. Just as I was about to settle into the seat, he pulled me onto his lap, sitting me at an angle across his thighs. He wordlessly reached up behind him with his left hand to pull the seat belt out and motioned for me to fasten it around the both of us. Judy and one other person slid onto the bench seat beside us as he wrapped his arms around my middle and hugged me against his chest.  

Dieter’s proximity caused him to completely invade all of my senses. His face was close enough to mine that I could almost taste his lips. I was cocooned in his smell and warmth, causing me to melt into his embrace. I could feel his hot breath blowing against the side of my neck and hear it hitch as I smiled shyly at him. The sight of his rounded brown eyes gazing deeply into mine made my heart skip a beat. For a brief moment, the world fell away, and it was just us getting lost in each other's eyes. He tucked his bottom lip between his teeth before turning his attention to Judy who had apparently asked a question. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” he said almost in a daze.

“Do you play too?” she asked again. 

Dieter shrugged, “I guess you could call it that.”

I smiled down at him, “He plays the guitar and sings. He’s really good.” 

A smile tugged at his lips as a blush crept across his cheeks. He squeezed me a little tighter as he leaned his forehead against my jaw. 

Judy clapped her hands excitedly, “This is gonna be so much fun.” 

I wished I shared her enthusiasm, but I couldn’t. Dieter laughed, his eyes meeting mine again.

“You gonna have some fun with me, Kit Kat?” My brow arched. Fucking tease. 

I shifted to put my arm around his neck, “Depends on which definition of fun we’re talking about.” 

His left hand that now rested on my hip gripped a little tighter as his eyes roamed over my face. I could tell he wasn’t sure how to take that comment. Good. Stew on that one. One side of his lips tugged upward, “I’m open to trying any definition of your choosing.” 

My jaw nearly dropped. What. The. Fuck. Is he doing? I glanced around the car, worried someone was going to hear us, but everyone now seemed engrossed in one of the multiple conversations happening between the occupants. I could feel myself relax knowing that they all seemed distracted. 

He shifted to lean in closer, causing his right hand to slide up my jean covered thigh a few inches. His lips grazed the shell of my ear as he spoke in a low gravelly voice, “We gonna rehearse for a bit after this?”

When he pulled away I couldn’t help staring at his pouty bottom lip briefly before my eyes flicked up to his. I nodded, “I’m not gonna let you get out of it that easily. You still need a little work.” 

He chuckled, “Right…Whatever you say, sweetheart.” 

I gave him an admonishing look over the pet name as he fought a smile. We were interrupted by the opening of doors, having arrived at the club. 

The club wasn’t really what I was expecting. The walls were dark, but it was hard to tell what color they actually were because every inch of the place was bathed in a crimson glow from the red lantern like light fixtures hanging overhead. A decently sized stage sat in the center of the room with equipment scattered about. The stage was surrounded by tables and plushy booths where people sat enjoying meals. A bar lined the wall on the far side, which made me cringe a little, but overall the atmosphere seemed very chill. It didn’t give off any sort of party vibe. 

We were seated at a large table next to the stage. Judy sat on one side of me, Dieter on the other. I sat in silence taking in my surroundings while Dieter chatted away with one of the cast members seated on the other side of him. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits and eager to engage with him. It appeared that whatever damage he had caused during his previous time with them had been repaired. It made me happy that he was making progress in that area because I knew how worried he had been about it. 

A server soon appeared and began taking everyone’s drink order. To my surprise, not a single person ordered alcohol. I briefly wondered if that was something they had discussed as a group beforehand or not. Either way, I appreciated it. Dieter was still chattering away so I’m sure he hadn’t even noticed. 

I had just started flipping through the menu when, without a word, Dieter grabbed my chair and pulled me closer to his side. I looked up at him with furrowed brows. He gave me a cheesy smile as he rested his arm along the back of my seat, “I didn’t get a menu. Gotta share. What are we getting?”

I gave him a disbelieving smile and rolled my eyes, tilting the menu toward him so he could look at it with me. By this point in the week, we had gotten into the habit of picking out meals that we both wanted to try so we could sample each other’s dishes. I settled on the blackened chicken carbonara while he went with a Cajun chicken and shrimp pasta. 

After ordering, his arm remained around the back of my chair as he leaned in closer to talk to Judy on the other side of me. His full attention seemed to be on her, yet his fingers had found their way to the back of my hair, lightly stroking through it as he talked. I tried to be present during their conversation, but it was hard to focus on anything other than his soft touch. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure what the hell they were talking about. 

Our attention was soon drawn to the stage as open mic night got underway. The host of the evening, Brian, was already badgering people to go sign up before it even started. Before he introduced the first performer, he caught sight of Dieter sitting in front of the stage. He stopped mid-sentence and changed course, “OH Damn, we got Dieter Bravo in the house tonight y’all!”

His eyes shifted to me as the room whooped and whistled, “AND Kat Stamos is here too! Y’all shouldn’t have sat next to the stage. Imma be giving you hell all night.” 

We all laughed, but I felt like I was dying inside just a little bit. I hated being the center of attention like this. Judy took that moment to yell out, “Get them up on stage!” Fucking hell.

Brian’s eyebrows arched, “Oh you guys gonna perform for us?”

I shook my head as Dieter tried to laugh it off. He must have sensed my nervousness because his free hand found its way to my thigh and squeezed gently. 

Brian laughed, “I’ll come back to you later. I’m not lettin’ that go.” Everyone cheered. Fuck. This is not how I saw the evening going. The host finally moved on to introducing the first performer just as our dinner was served. Aside from taste testing each other's food, we ate mostly in silence, enjoying the soulful blues performances taking place mere feet from us. I thought we had escaped the wrath of Brian, but I was wrong. Just as we were finishing up, Brian was back on stage asking if anyone wanted to fill the next open slot. When no one came forward, his eyes focused on us.

“A little birdy told me that Dieter and Kat have some hidden talents. I think this would be a good time to get them up here!” 

I glanced over at Judy, who looked guilty before her nervous smile turned to an encouraging one. I felt a sudden adrenaline rush coursing through me as I turned to Dieter. A small part of me really wanted to see him sing and play on stage. 

“Go on, get to it. You said you would do it,” I teased with a smile.

He shook his head, “No, I said I would, if you did. You gotta come too.”

He stood up, which seemed to get the crowd riled up further, “Come on Kit Kat. You know you wanna do it with me. Let’s cause a scene.” 

I laughed. This is NOT what I wanna do with you, sir. I puffed air out of my cheeks. “Fine…but you owe me a solo performance too.” 

“You let me pick the song and I’ll do anything you tell me to,” he replied with a dimpled smile. Fucker. I couldn’t pass that up.

He grabbed my hand, tugging me up out of the seat. The cheers in the room were almost deafening as he pulled me up onto the stage. He grabbed one of the acoustic guitars from the stand, taking a minute to strum and tune it as he chatted with the house band. Brian walked over and offered me a wireless mic before disappearing. The handle felt slick in my sweaty palms as I turned toward Dieter who was moving toward the mic stand in the center of the stage. He gave me a sneaky grin as he worked to raise the stand to his height. I smiled at him nervously as I raised my mic to speak, “Alright Bravo, what's it gonna be?” 

Dieter was still smiling at me as he strummed a couple bars of the opening notes, waiting for my realization to kick in. It didn’t take long. It was the song I had been humming along to on Wednesday. The one he said that he wanted to hear me sing right before we had the almost kiss, or whatever the hell that was. I chuckled, rolling my eyes at him. He turned to his mic, “I hope you’re ready to have your minds blown by this beautiful and talented woman standing on stage with me.” 

I could feel the heat creeping up my cheeks as the audience responded with whistles and applause. I couldn’t help hiding behind my hand. I could hear Dieter’s deep rumbling laugh through the sound system. It vibrated through every inch of my body as I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for what we were about to do. I had sung in front of crowds before, but that was during family gatherings. This was different, almost daunting. Especially since I knew videos would inevitably find their way online for the world to see. 

Dieter turned toward me and leaned in to ask, “You good?” 

I gave him a nervous smile, taking another deep breath as I nodded. 

“Focus on me if you need to,” he said. I nodded again. 

He bumped his shoulder against mine, “Ok, here we go.” 

I watched as his thick fingers began to pluck out the opening notes to Blood on a Rose. My eyes met his sultry gaze just as the words to the first verse left my lips.  🎶 (Song link for reference)

Your voice in my ear / The world disappears / So I'll fall again / You can keep me right here / Haunting my soul / A beautiful thorn / You rapture my heart / Leave me broken and torn

The lyrics were suddenly taking on a new meaning for me. He WAS haunting my soul, and I was torn between keeping things professional and completely losing myself to him. I was inching closer to him now, singing only for him. We had seemingly become completely entranced by each other as I moved into the chorus. 

This love is killing me / The pain must be part of the cure / It's so hard to breathe when I need you so bad that it burns / You are the fire, love is the blood on a rose

I felt every word of it. This game we were playing had turned into nothing short of torture. My desire for him was reaching a new peak as the electricity crackled between us like it never had before. We were connecting in a new way that suddenly felt more intimate than the dancing. Maybe because we could both sense that there was some truth to the lyrics. I couldn’t keep myself from reaching up to brush the curl away that had fallen down over his forehead, then settled my hand on his cheek as I began the next verse. 

Lost in your eyes / These ties that bind / Body and soul / Leaving nothing behind / Don't know how to stop / Don't know how to stay / These chains might break / But you like it that way

And lost in his eyes I was. I don’t think either of us had broken eye contact since the first note of music sounded. We were standing so close together by the time I went into the next round of the chorus that I could have easily leaned in to kiss him if there hadn't been a guitar between us. After a short building instrumental interlude, he shifted, angling the guitar in front of me. He leaned in toward the mic just as I started the final two refrains of the chorus and joined in. 

The rush that I felt from his closeness was insane. My entire body was tingling and covered in goosebumps with his face now inches from mine, our gazes still locked as he belted out the words, harmonizing perfectly with me. Sharing this moment and this part of myself with him was waking something up inside of me. A craving unlike anything I had ever felt, and he was the only one that could satisfy it. 

When the song ended, we just sort of stared at each other for a few beats as applause and cheers broke out around us. He smirked as he pulled me into his side and kissed me on the cheek. Just as I pulled away, the crowd began to chant “One more!”. I laughed, shaking my head as I raised the mic to speak, “I think the next one is on Dieter. I’m done.” 

Dieter gave me his best sad puppy dog look. I shook my head again, “Nope. I’m done. It’s your turn.” He rolled his eyes as I turned to exit the stage, receiving praise as I went. I politely smiled in thanks, moving to take my seat at the table directly in front of where Dieter was now standing.

I could see that he was feeling anxious as he fidgeted with the guitar strap, then adjusted the mic, “Well, I don’t have Kat up here to make me look good anymore.” He laughed nervously, “So, you all better take it easy on me.”

The audience filled with quiet laughter as he turned around, briefly speaking with the house band one more time before returning to the mic. His voice started with the music, slow and deep. Bluesy guitar riffs intermingling with his somber tone. Every word was laced with emotion as his eyes focused on me. 

🎶 (Song link for reference)

Bright lights with the side of passion / Nightlife, welcome the attraction / Her satin gloves wrapped all around / She lift me up, then, she knocked me down / I fell in love, she showed me how / She takes a puff and it's curtains now

I was happy to be sitting, because my legs would have given out on me if I hadn’t been. He was literally taking my breath away. This was way more intense than the first time I had seen him sing. I could feel it in my bones - in every cell. I couldn’t handle how fucking perfect and beautiful he was. 

Judy grabbed my arm, “I had no idea he sounded like this. He’s so fucking good!” 

All I could manage was a small nod, not taking my eyes off him as he transitioned to the chorus. 

She drives a camera crazy / I think she knows it / There ain't no one above her and she ain't afraid to own it / The glitz and glamor slay me / But is it hopeless? / This goddess of a woman really gets the people going / Close up, zoom out / From every angle, yeah, she lay me down / Choked up, no doubt / She hard to handle, but she'll keep you 'round

His anxiety appeared to have dissipated. He now seemed slightly cocky even. The rawness and passion in his voice was seriously doing something to me. My thighs were now clenching together under the table. The ache at my center went from zero to painful in an instant. I sighed. This may very well be what finally breaks me. 

As he moved into the second verse, something about his expression changed. It was more playful as he fought a smirk, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip during the brief lyrical pauses. His eyes were borderline seductive as he continued to focus on me. Something told me he knew what he was doing, and that thought only made me squirm more. I couldn’t help questioning his song choice. I found myself wondering how much truth was behind the lyrics. 

Might bite when they call for action / Shines like she'll evoke reaction /  I feel it jump, heart starts to pound / She pulled the plug, really show me now / We fell in love, she showed me how / Hands are cuffed as I slowly drown

By the time he hit the chorus again, he was in full performance mode - sliding the guitar behind his back and gripping the microphone between both hands with confidence. It had to be one of the hottest things I had ever seen. A confident Dieter seemed to be my new weakness.

Everyone in the room collectively lost their minds when he finished. I could hear murmurs around about how amazing he sounded and how surprised everyone was by his talent. He was shocking people left and right this week and I was loving every second of it. I was proud of him and suddenly understood the urge of wanting to show him off. He was MY dance partner after all. If he could use that as an excuse, then so could I. 

After a shy “thank you” to the audience, Dieter rejoined us at the table and was met with fist bumps, claps, and pats on the back. He had a dopey grin on his face as he finally sat down beside me. When he noticed me looking at him, his demeanor shifted, seemingly unsure of himself now. I gave him a comforting smile, reaching to lace my fingers with his.

“You did such a good job. I’m a little speechless.”

He huffed out a relieved chuckle, shifting to put his arm along the back of my seat as he leaned in next to my ear, “You were amazing. I could listen to you all night.” 

It was my turn to be embarrassed. I could feel the blush creeping up my cheeks, but I still managed to pluck up the courage to ask, “Those were some interesting song choices. Why did you pick them?”

Dieter leaned back into his chair and took a drink of water with his free hand, seemingly weighing his response. He finally shrugged, “They seemed to fit the mood of the evening.” 

He’s being cryptic with that answer. My brows pinched together, “What does that mean?” 

A cocky grin spread across his face, “You tell me.” 

My mouth opened to speak, then snapped shut. I don’t know what to do with that. What is he insinuating? 

We were suddenly interrupted by two younger women who asked to take a selfie with us. We agreed, of course. After they spent a few minutes fawning over us, they thankfully left. Dieter immediately turned his attention back to me, smiling as he draped his arm back around my shoulders.

“I’m almost afraid to check social media after this gets out. You know there’ll be videos,” I said. 

He snickered, “Well, let’s beat them to it. Story time!”

Dieter shifted to pull out his phone and snapped a quick selfie of us, then posted it to his Instagram story with a smirk. I’d have to check to see what ridiculousness he added to it later. After setting his phone down on the table, his hand found its way to my thigh and rubbed gently as he asked “When do you wanna head back?” 

His gaze locked with mine as I reveled in the sensation from his touch. The thigh touching was new, he did it so casually now and I was loving every second of it. I wanted more. 

“Umm, lemme run to the ladies room, then we can go,” I finally said. 

Judy’s attention was drawn to me as I got up. I motioned that I was going to the bathroom which prompted her to stand and join me. We had to wait in line for several minutes, quietly chatting amongst ourselves as we did so.

“I’ve gotta say, Dieter has shocked us all this week. He’s like a completely different person. He’s actually been pretty amazing to work with,” she said.

I smiled, “Yeah, I know he’s been working really hard. He was excited to be asked back.” 

“I’ll admit, a lot of us were not happy about him coming back at first. He was an absolute asshole last time…when he wasn’t trying to get laid that is. He was a mess.” 

That probably shouldn’t bother me, but it sort of did. I had to remind myself that he hadn’t kept his past a secret. I knew he used to sleep around. Maybe it was just starting to hit me differently after the Alec thing. 

“Being sober has done him good though. I think you're having a positive impact on him too. He seems much more relaxed when you're around,” she added with a knowing look in her eyes. 

My brows furrowed, “What do you mean?” 

She shrugged, “I dunno. He just appears to be…happier maybe? You seem very in tune with each other.” She leaned in closer, “I’ve gotta ask…because I honestly can’t figure you two out…Do you have something going on? Like…are you together?” 

I scoffed, “No. Absolutely not. I mean, sure, we’ve gotten close…I understand what he’s going through because my dad had the same issues…And this show and all the drama that comes with it is putting us through the wringer. We’ve just become good friends through all of it.”

She didn’t look convinced, “All I’m gonna say is…he was tryin’ to get with anyone that would give him the time of day last time he was here. Now, he only has eyes for you. That man is one hundred percent into you.”

I laughed nervously, “No he’s not. It’s not like that with us.” 

She gave me a doubtful look as she moved to take the next open stall, “If you say so, honey.” 

I stood there, a little dumbfounded for a moment. Maybe I wasn’t imagining things?

I tried to put Judy’s words out of my mind as I walked back to the table. I was still trying to convince myself that she was wrong. Do I think he flirts sometimes? Yes. But he’s Dieter fucking Bravo. That’s just how he is. To say he only has eyes for me is a whole other level that I was not fully convinced of yet. Of course, now that I was thinking about it, I couldn’t actually recall having seen him flirt with anyone else. Not even in a joking manner. That had to be because he was comfortable around me though. Right? 

As I approached the table, I realized Dieter was saying his goodbyes. He turned to me with a soft smile on his face, “I took care of our bill, and our ride should be here any minute.” 

Damn, he didn’t waste any time. I nodded, then turned to bid my farewells to everyone for the evening and thanked them for inviting us. Once finished, Dieter grabbed my hand and led me through the crowd to the exit where we found our Uber already waiting.

The ride back to the hotel was oddly quiet, but I could still feel a strange electricity crackling between us. Something had definitely changed between us tonight. I couldn’t keep my eyes from shifting in his direction and roaming over his profile as he stared out the window of the car. The city lights occasionally illuminated his face in various shades of white, blue, and pink - emphasizing his aquiline nose and pouty lips in a way that was making it hard for me to breathe. I knew I should look away, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could ignore the feelings I was having toward him. Being with him as much as I had this week was causing a raging monster to grow inside of me, and it wanted him. After tonight, I didn’t think I could lock it away any longer.

Once we reached the hotel, I linked my arm with his as we walked inside toward the elevators. After the elevator doors closed, his arm shifted to wrap around my waist, tucking me into his side. I was suddenly surrounded by the scent of him, earthy and woody with a soft citrus undertone. It was intoxicating and I had to remind myself not to lean in to inhale him. His husky voice broke through my thoughts, “Do you still wanna rehearse some tonight? I guess we probably should, huh?”

I raised my head to look at him, startled by how close his face was to mine. Fuck. He’s beautiful. I cleared my throat, staring up at him through my lashes, “Yeah, I mean…maybe we can just run through it a few times with the music.” 

The elevator doors opened to our floor. I moved away from him to exit, “I’m just gonna run and change first. Tight jeans are not ideal…” I added with a chuckle, swiping into the room as I spoke. He nodded, agreeing that he was going to change as well.  

I changed into black leggings and a matching zip front sports bra, then met Dieter in the living room. We stuck to our routine of rehearsing on the terrace. It wasn’t a cold night but being up on the top floor definitely made it a little chilly. Dieter made some sort of comment about keeping the blood flowing to stay warm and my thoughts spiraled. The fact that we were stuck doing one of the most intimate dances this week was not helping matters. I suddenly had butterflies in my stomach realizing what we were about to do while I was in my current state. I don’t know if I can do this and keep it together. 

I queued up the music using the small Bluetooth speaker and my phone, then hit play on my watch once we got into position. On our first run-through, I messed up several times because I couldn’t concentrate, but we managed to make it through in the midst of laughter. Dieter was completely throwing me off my game with his new found confidence and intense focus. His hesitation with physical contact had disappeared only to be replaced by a cocky smirk and playful glint in his eyes, which was beyond distracting. I felt like he knew what effect it was having on me too. 

On our second run-through, we shook off our giggles and managed to focus, if that’s what you could even call it. The electric current between us was buzzing at max levels as we channeled the intimacy of the dance. Our touches became more sensual and less playful, the looks between us now lingering, the space between us disappearing. Instead of just our foreheads touching during those more intimate moves, our noses were now nuzzling against each other with our lips centimeters apart. Every nerve ending in my body was like a livewire, shocking me where our skin touched. By the time the song came to an end, the vibe between us had completely shifted. I stepped away, laughing nervously, “Well, that one went much better. I think we have a pretty good grasp on it. Do you wanna call it a night?” I need to get away from him. Now. Or I’m gonna lose what little control I have.

Dieter rubbed at the back of his neck as he peered up at me through his lashes, the corner of his lip twitched upward before he spoke, “I dunno, I think maybe we should go through it one or two more times…at least. If you’re feeling up to it…of course.” I could feel his chocolate eyes boring into me as he fought a smile. What the fuck is this? Why does he keep looking at me like that? His words from a few days ago popped into my head, “I’ll behave unless I’m told to do otherwise.”

Surely, he’s not…no. Is he? I felt like he was trying to get a read on where I was with things. Did he feel the shift too? My intuition was telling me that if we kept rehearsing right now, something was going to happen. This whole situation we had been thrust into was setting us up for this and I was falling for it. My gut told me he was too. My head was telling me to call it a night, but my traitorous lady bits were throbbing at the possibility of seeing what else Dieter Bravo could do with those loose hips of his. I suddenly felt like everything was hinging on my response. I must have taken longer than I realized to answer him, because Dieter’s brows furrowed as my name slipped out between his lips. My attention snapped back to him as he asked, “Is everything ok?”

My eyes widened, meeting his, “Yeah, sorry. I was thinking through the ending. I’m not sure it feels right.”

He arched a brow as the smirk returned, “I agree, it’s almost sort of… anticlimactic?” 

I nodded, “Yeah…I agree.” Maybe with a new focus, the tension might dissipate some. “Are you good to do another lift?” I asked.

He shrugged, his eyes were almost smoldering now, “I’m good with whatever you wanna do.” 

I felt like his words had a double meaning behind them. I tried my best to ignore my thoughts as I worked through the moves in my head, “Alright, I’m not sure how to explain this…ummm…as I turn, allow me to complete the turn into your side while lifting me up onto your hip. You’re gonna bend your leg slightly for me to rest on as you dip me backward, run your hand down my side then snap me up for the final pose.” 

He stood staring at me with a confused look etched on his face. I sighed, “Ok, hold on.” I moved to pick up my phone, closing my eyes for a minute to think where I had seen that move before. I somehow managed to pull it out of the recesses of my mind and quickly found it on YouTube to show him. He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he watched, then nodded, “Yeah, I like that better.” 

We tried it several times and managed to get it down after some struggles and laughter. Then we decided to go through the whole routine again with the new ending. The tension between us quickly returned - pretty much picking up where it left off. Especially when we hit the first lift. From my position on the floor, I raised my legs and hooked them over the tops of his thighs. He slowly lifted me off the ground as I rolled my torso upward and hooked my hands around his neck pulling his face up to meet mine. Our lips grazed against each other this time. The position that we found ourselves in felt more intimate than it ever had as he did a full turn, and I released the hold my legs had around his waist to plant my feet on the ground. We stayed in the embrace a few beats longer than we should have but kept going after finally breaking apart. 

Our lips continued to lightly brush against each other throughout the rest of the routine. This was new. We had never gotten this close and intimate during a dance. It was causing blood to rush to my aching core. There was no way we could keep this up or else I was going to burst into flames. I could feel my control slipping away with each passing second. 

By the time we reached the end with the final lift I was hanging on by a thread. When I turned and he lifted me onto his hip for the dip, he didn’t just run his hand down my side. He started by caressing my neck, skimmed the center of my breasts, then down my side to pull me upward toward his face. Instead of just resting my hand on the back of his neck, it seemed to have a mind of its own as it moved upward and fisted in the curls at the nape. I could feel his heated breath rush out against my lips as he closed his eyes from the sensation, a quiet whimper escaping his throat before nuzzling his nose with mine. He pulled back slightly, allowing his gaze to settle on me. He looked dazed as I continued to slowly pull away to stand. His hand slid down my arm and gripped my fingertips until they were out of his reach.

I turned away, brushing my hair back off my face and inhaling deeply in an attempt to compose myself. Fuck, I’ve never felt anything this intense before. It was really messing with my head. He was like a magnet pulling me in. There was no way I could fight this for seven more weeks. The pull was too strong. If it didn’t happen now, it was going to eventually unless something changed. 

His voice broke through my thoughts, “One more time?” He asked. His voice sounded off. Smoother and deeper somehow. Like honey and sex. I turned to look at him, his eyes widening slightly, “Or, we can call it a night…if you prefer.” He could sense my reluctance and was giving me an out. Deep down I knew he was testing me. I could sense that he wanted it just as badly as I did. 

I shook my head, “N-No…one more time should do it. Our timing was still a little off. I think we can get it right this time.” 

One corner of his lips tugged upward. Did I have a double meaning behind my words now? Fuck. What am I doing? We got into position as I started the music again. The last of the frayed threads that had been holding us back were finally pulling apart. After the first turn, he placed his hands on my hips and pulled my back tightly against his front. I could feel every inch of his broad body pressed against me, including the stiffness in his pants. There was no polite space there this time as I reached up behind me with my right hand to the back of his neck, grasping at his curls. His fingertips slid down the underside of my arm as his lips lowered to brush against the shell of my ear, then trailed down my neck before transitioning to the next move. I could still feel the blazing path of his mouth on my skin, even after it was gone.

Our touches continued to intensify as we got to the first lift. This is when the threads finally snapped. After I rolled my torso upright and pulled his face upward to meet mine, he stopped moving. His breathing was noticeably shallower as I cupped his cheeks and stared into his darkened eyes. Slowly leaning in further, and without thinking, I placed the lightest of kisses on his lips before pulling back to meet his gaze again. His eyes searched my face as a conflicted expression overtook his features. I loosened the grip my legs had around his waist so he could set me down, which he did, but his hands kept me pulled snugly against his chest as they caressed over the bare skin of my lower back. 

He pressed his forehead against mine, I could tell he wanted to kiss me, but he was holding back. His words popped into my head again, “I’ll behave unless I’m told to do otherwise.”  I realized then, he’s following my lead in this dance. I pressed my lips against his again, his response was tentative and gentle. Almost like he was afraid he might scare me away if he moved too quickly. My hands slid from his cheeks into his hair, pulling him in closer and deepening the kiss. His lips parted, allowing me entrance. It was soft and sensual the way he massaged my tongue with his. God, he’s such a good kisser. I had never really thought that about anyone in the past, now I realized why. There was an art to it, and Dieter Bravo had mastered it. 

My thighs clenched together, the throb at my center was now unbearable. I couldn’t take it anymore. I knew there was no fighting it at this point as my hands dropped down to the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head. The soft fabric was replaced by my fingers splayed across his bare chest. He leaned in and kissed me briefly before pausing and placing his hands on either side of my neck with his thumbs resting on my chin, gently stroking my face. He pulled back, his intense eyes locking with mine. “Are you sure about this?” he asked.

I nodded in response, but then he continued, “If we do this…it changes everything. I-I can’t go back to the way things were before. It’s all or nothing for me.” He was deadly serious as his eyes bore into me, unblinking as he searched mine. His intensity took me by surprise, and only seemed to spur me on. I let out a shaky breath, his vehemence causing my heart to pound in my ears. I nodded again, “I’m sure.”

He must have found what he was looking for as his eyes danced around my face, because it was like a dam had broken when his lips finally crashed against mine. He was suddenly full of passion and need. His hands roamed over the length of my body as he walked us backward toward the open door to go inside. Once we passed the threshold, he turned, pressing me up against the curtain covered floor-to-ceiling window. My leg hooked around his hip as he rutted against my center, nearly causing me to come undone from the contact. 

His lips made their way down my neck, but he still seemed hesitant in touching me where I wanted him to. I grabbed his hands and brought them to my breast, encouraging him to have his way with me. He gave them a tentative squeeze, before groaning against my jaw. One of my hands fisted in the top of his hair as the other moved to the front zipper on my bra, “It’s ok to touch me, Dieter. I want you to…need you to…please.” I begged through heavy pants. 

He whimpered against my skin as I pulled the zipper down, his hands immediately reaching for and massaging at the soft exposed flesh as I managed to slide the bra off down my arms. He raised his head, his tongue quickly plunged into my mouth as one of his hands began to move downward at a painfully slow pace until he was finally rubbing against the spot that I wanted him most. It was my turn to whimper into his mouth now. It wasn’t enough, I wanted more. My hips bucked against his palm. He seemed to understand, moving to dip his hand into the front of my leggings, his digits sliding over my slick folds, expertly caressing and teasing me. I quickly turned into a quivering mess as he licked and sucked on my neck and worked me over with his thick fingers. 

He suddenly withdrew his hand, now sliding both down my sides and hooking his fingers under the band of my leggings, he paused quietly whispering into my ear, “Is this ok?” I let out a breathy “yes” as he continued to pepper me with kisses, slowly moving down my body with his mouth as he removed the rest of my clothing, completely exposing me. I was burning for him. I couldn’t remember ever feeling like this before. The hungry look in his eyes as he sucked a nipple into his mouth only exacerbated the feeling. 

Dieter sank to his knees, lifting my left leg over his shoulder as he pulled away from my breast with a pop. He turned his attention to kissing and nibbling at my inner thigh, dragging his patchy stubble against my skin as his lips made a fiery path to the apex. His teasing touches were maddening. I knew I wasn’t going to last long. When he finally moved to my folds, licking up the center with the flat of his tongue, my legs nearly gave out. He hummed against me before latching on to the sensitive and throbbing bundle of nerves, sucking and flicking his tongue in tandem as his hands gripped my ass and held me firmly against his mouth. I doubled over almost immediately, my hands fisting in his hair for balance. Fucking hell, how did he do that? The loud moan that escaped my lips was almost embarrassing. I somehow managed to get myself upright and grabbed onto the door facing to my left for support. I was already covered in sweat, breathing heavily, and thighs shaking from the building release. Another quick jolt of pleasure ran through me, nearly causing me to double forward again. A breathy, “What the fuck!?!?” escaped my lips. I’d never felt anything like this before. 

I could feel the deep rumble of his chuckle as he broke away with another pop, looking up at me through his lashes, “Everything ok, sweetheart?” 

My eyes narrowed at the pet name. I could tell he was using that word purposefully. His defiance only further stimulated my arousal. “I don’t think I told you to stop.”  

That cocky smirk was back again, “Yes, ma’am.” 

He dove back in, more enthusiastic than before - groaning out profane sounds as he worked. I was fairly certain he was sucking my soul out through my cunt. His mouth should be considered the eighth wonder of the world. He should be worshiped. My debauched thoughts were already sending me to hell, so why not add the worship of a false god to the list? 

I couldn’t help grinding and arching into him, it felt so good it was almost painful. My release hit out of nowhere, my vision going dark before filling with bursts of color behind my eyelids. My ears began ringing, muffling all sound. The primal cry that came from deep within my chest shocked me. My whole body was shaking to the point that I could hardly stand. I could feel Dieter in front of me now, nuzzling his slick covered nose against mine with his hands around my waist, holding me tightly against him for support.  

I snorted out a breathless laugh, “I think I just blacked out for a minute.” 

I could feel him laughing against my throat. “Somebody was wound up tight,” he said between kisses. I knotted his hair in my hand and tilted his face upward to meet my gaze, “I don’t think I’ve ever come that fast, or hard…” 

He smirked. “You can wipe that smug look off your face,” I added through a chuckle. 

He shrugged as a cheesy grin spread across his face, “You know Kit Kats are my favorite thing to eat. What did you expect?”

I snorted, “You DID NOT just say that.” 

He laughed loudly, “I totally did, and I’ll never not say it again. It’s too good.” 

I smiled against his lips before pulling him in for a deep kiss, tasting the after effects of his handiwork. I wasn’t done with him yet. My right hand slid down through the light smattering of wiry hair at the base of his abdomen, then down the front of his gym shorts, rubbing his hard length. He melted into me as I swallowed his moans, pushing his shorts and boxer briefs down, exposing him to me. His size was as I suspected, girthy and above average in length, but not in a ridiculous way. He was perfect and I was aching to feel him. I NEEDED to feel him. I hooked my leg around his hip, encouraging him to rub against my slick center. He paused suddenly, his forehead dropping to my shoulder, “What’s wrong?” I asked. 

He raised his head to look at me with a grimace, “I…uhhh…I don’t have any condoms. I wasn’t expecting…this.” 

His rounded brown eyes were full of regret and maybe a little embarrassment at his admission. God, he’s perfect. I gave him a small smile, “I think I would’ve had more questions if you did have them.” He chuckled as I cupped his cheek, “It’s fine. I got the all clear and I’m on birth control…I trust you.” 

His brows arched upwards as he shook his head, “I haven’t…with anyone. I swear” 

I smiled against his lips, “I know…I told you, I trust you.” 

He huffed out a sigh of relief, kissing me once more as he grabbed my ass and lifted me. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked toward the bedroom. He continued kissing me as he sank to his knees on the edge of the bed, managing to make it up far enough to lay me back on the pillows. He hovered above me on his elbows, fingertips in my hair as he kissed gently on my forehead, my nose, then my lips. He stared down at me for a moment, his eyes full of emotion, “I just want you to know that…with you…this does mean something to me.” I could feel my heart beating out of my chest from his admission. I kissed him back, deeply, before mummering a quiet “I know” against his plump bottom lip. 

He gave me a soft smile, then sat up on his knees, his hands gently rubbing and massaging down my torso as he moved. His eyes followed their path, taking in every inch of my flesh. Seeing him like this, completely bare before me as he began stroking himself between my thighs, was easily the most erotic sight I had ever laid eyes on. His shoulders somehow looked broader from this angle, the muscles in his chest and arm flexed as he slowly slid his hand up and down his length. His messy curls were now hanging down over his lustful gaze, adding to his sexiness.

The way he looked at me was nothing short of obscene as he reached to rub at my inner thigh with his free hand, gently grazing his fingertips down to my ankle, then lifting my foot to rest on his shoulder. His hand continued to rub from the tips of my toes down my calf as he nuzzled his cheek against the inside of my foot. The softness of his touch juxtaposed with the scratchiness of his beard in such a sensitive spot caused a surge of electricity to course through my veins. 

My cunt was suddenly aching to be touched. I couldn’t wait any longer. I surprised myself when my right hand found its way down to my folds to rub at the small bundle of nerves. My fingers briefly dipped down to collect some of the slick to smear around before continuing in my endeavor. My left hand moved to squeeze my breast. I was already feeling that familiar tingling sensation again with very little effort. Something about Dieter made me feel brazen and uninhibited unlike ever before. I never felt safe enough to be like this with Alec. I never felt any of this with Alec. 

Dieter’s teeth sunk into his bottom lip as he watched me arch into my hands. His eyes flicking up from the apex of my thighs to meet my gaze ever so often to watch me, watching him. Neither of us said a word, our connection allowing us to silently communicate our feelings and needs as we shared this moment of mutual self-pleasure. 

His hand moved to caress my ankle, his thumb pressing THAT spot again just below the ankle bone, causing jolts of pleasure to shoot through me. He tucked his chin, opening his mouth to graze his teeth against the spot his thumb had just vacated, causing a new prickling sensation to creep up to my aching core. I whimpered quietly at the feeling, his gaze meeting mine as he began to gently suck the area. His eyes shifted down to my center, now watching my fingers at work. I watched as his head dipped further, spit dripping from his mouth onto his cock as he continued to leisurely stroke himself, his thumb swiping over the sensitive tip as he moved. Something about his actions made me feel feral. It wasn’t a want anymore. I needed him. 

Dieter must have sensed my growing need, suddenly lowering my leg and sliding his large hands around my hips. With a firm grip, he lifted them up off the mattress and notched himself at my entrance. I watched our reflections in the mirrored ceiling as he slowly sank in, stretching me around his length. The sight and feeling of him forced incoherent sounds from my lips. He let out a loud hiss through his teeth as he sunk in to the hilt. His eyes fluttered shut as his jaw went slack, his head briefly dropping back in ecstasy. The position he put me in had opened my hips up in a way they never had been during sex, allowing him in deeper, eliciting a pleasure I had never felt.

He leaned forward slightly, tucking one arm around my lower back, causing it to arch further, increasing the friction of his movements against my center. He set a steady rhythm, rolling his hips and thrusting upward in a way that hit all the right spots perfectly. His free hand slid up my abdomen to knead my breast and roll my nipples between his fingertips causing my skin to pebble all over. He let out a quiet moan at the way my body responded to his touch. I soon found myself fisting the sheets and coming undone again before he had even broken out into a sweat.

A satisfied smile slid across his face as I clenched down around him and groaned loudly with my release, “That’s it sweetheart, let it go.” His breathy voice was deeper and more husky than I had ever heard it. It was so fucking sexy. I wanted to tell him to stop calling me sweetheart, but deep down, it was only stoking the flames further. I think he knew it too, which is why he kept saying it.  

He gently lowered my hips to the bed while I tried to catch my breath. He shifted to hover above me on his elbows, somehow managing to leave us joined through it all. His fingers worked to brush away the stray hairs that were sticking to my sweaty face, his lips trailing behind them. I caught his mouth with mine, kissing him deeply as my hands wandered over his body. He began moving again, tucking his knees under my thighs to slightly elevate my hips. I arched up into him as he hit just the right spot deep inside of me. The way he moved was causing the base of his cock to rub against my clit in a way that was already making my whole body quiver and shake toward another release as my legs tightened around his hips. One of his arms slid underneath my lower back, holding me snugly against his chest, further increasing the friction as he continued to massage my tongue with his. 

All of his movements seemed to be calculated. Every touch and every angle were done with a single purpose - to give pleasure, not take it. He knew exactly what I needed and how to get me there. I didn’t have to tell him, because he was reading the cues. He was working my body in ways I never thought possible and satisfying every craving that I ever had that had gone unfulfilled. Yet, he was awakening a primal hunger that I didn’t think would ever be satiated.  

He began to quicken the pace of his thrusts, which finally sent both of us over the edge together. The room filled with sounds of our heavy breathing and loud moans as he finally spilled into me.  Our eyes remained locked on each other through our releases. It was intimate and unexpected, making my heart skip a few beats. He wasn’t afraid to show the vulnerable side of himself as he lost control - not holding back any of his soft whimpers. I found myself wanting to see it again and again. 

Dieter nearly collapsed on top of me, burying his face in my neck as he worked to catch his breath. My fingers instinctively combed through his messy curls as I did the same. Eventually, he moved to kiss me again, nibbling on my chin as he pulled out with a groan to lay at my side. He was quiet for a few minutes, now seeming unsure of himself as he finally spoke up, “Do you want me to leave now?” His words came out almost in a whisper, sounding sad, like it was inevitable. He didn’t look my way, instead he stared toward the doorway as he waited for my response. I could see his expression in the mirrored ceiling. He looked sad, like he was fighting back his emotions.

I could feel my brows pinching together, confused by his sudden change in demeanor. “Why would I want you to leave?” I asked. 

His lips set into a tight line as he shrugged, “Because people usually don’t want me to stay…after.” 

I shifted to lay on my side so that I was facing him. I placed my hand under his chin, turning his head so he was looking at me, “I never want you to leave me after…”

He stared up at me with his sad puppy eyes before turning his body to face mine, burying his face in my side and hugging my thighs against his chest. “Is this ok?” he asked against my bare skin. My fingers moved back to strum through his hair, “Of course it is. It always will be.”  

I suddenly felt sad for him, wondering what had happened in his life that would make him ask those questions. I had the overwhelming urge to shower him in affection. I had a feeling he hadn’t gotten a lot of that, in recent years at least. Then again, I hadn’t really had that either.

I felt his hand rub up and down the back of my thigh, his head suddenly popped up to look at me, “Did you still wanna soak in the tub? I know the last few days have been tough on you. I don’t want you to be sore or anything. I can get it ready for you…if you want?” 

I glanced at the clock, it was almost 11:30 PM. “I dunno, it’s getting late.” 

Dieter kissed my hip, “If you wanna sleep in, I’ll go grab us some breakfast in the morning.”

I smiled, “You’re making that really hard to turn down, Bravo.”  

He was massaging my hip now, with a small smile on his lips. It felt amazing. 

“I wanna take care of you. Gotta keep these hips in working order,” he leaned down and kissed where he had just been rubbing as his hand slid down to grip my ass cheek. 

He’s definitely an ass man. I laughed, “Ok, fine. You win, but only if you join me.” 

He smiled against my skin, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

I stretched out on the bed, watching as he moved around the room to prepare the bath, still completely naked and confident. As he waited for it to fill, he gathered towels from the bathroom then added salts to the water, occasionally checking the temperature. Once it was halfway full, he stepped in and sat down, “Oooh fuck, this might be too hot.” 

I laughed, “That means it’s perfect then.”

He shook his head, muttering out, “Nope. Nope. Nope.”  Then he moved to adjust the temperature of the running water.

Once he settled against the backrest, I got up to join him, piling my hair up into a messy bun along the way. He spread his legs wide so I could sit between his thighs and lean against his chest. I scoffed, “Nope. It could be warmer.” I sat up to adjust the temperature again while he laughed. We were quiet until the tub was full. I reached to shut off the water then got comfortable against him. His thumbs moved to massage into my neck, then down the back side of my shoulders. After several minutes, the rest of his fingers joined in, digging into the top muscles. His motions elicited a quiet moan from me as my head dropped back to his chest. His fingers made their way to the front side, massaging around the base of my neck, then moved down the sides of my arms. 

My eyes drifted closed, “Mmm, I wasn’t aware that a massage was part of this.”

Dieter’s lips brushed against my ear, “I told you, I wanna take care of you. That position I had you in can do a number on your neck and back.”

I sighed, “I’m not really sure what to do with this. I’m not used to aftercare.” 

He scoffed, “That shouldn’t surprise me. I hope he was at least a decent lay.” 

I laughed, “No. He wasn’t. He fucking sucked. I usually had to take care of things myself. He was a very selfish lover. Always wanting and taking. Half the time I just felt like his plaything to be used as he saw fit, then discarded when he was done. He typically didn’t stick around after either.”��

Dieter nuzzled into my neck, “That’s a terrible feeling that I know all too well. I promise, I’ll never do that to you.” 

I turned so that I could see his face, “I’ll never do it to you either…People would really ask you to leave after?”

He pursed his lips in thought, “Yeah, I mean…it was just hookups. It was never meant to be more than that. Either they asked me to leave, or they would leave without a word. It was better in a lot of ways…didn’t have to go through the awkward morning after thing. It’s just sort of what I’ve come to expect I guess.” 

I turned away, now staring at the water, “Why did you do it?”

He sighed, squirming under me a little, “Ummm, that’s more complicated. Most of the time I was so coked out I’m not even sure if I knew what I was doing. Other times, it was an escape…to feel something else and nothing else at the same time…but there was never any connection there. It was just about forgetting my problems and having a fun time.” 

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, suddenly worried that’s all this was to him. An escape. He must have sensed it because his arms tightened around me as he leaned his cheek against mine, “It’s not like that with you. Don’t worry. I told you…this means something to me. You’re making me feel things I didn’t know possible…want things I’ve never wanted because I was too afraid.” 

His voice wavered, which took me by surprise. I turned to face him again, searching his sad eyes. “What were you afraid of?” I asked.

He reached to entwine his fingers with mine on his chest, his eyes turning glassy as he stared at them, “In simple terms…rejection, abandonment, pain, loss. I didn’t feel like I was worthy of being loved. There’s a lot to unpack there, and I don’t wanna do that tonight. I just wanna be with you.” 

I smiled, releasing his hand and reaching to pull his face toward mine so I could look at him. We took each other in for a moment before he leaned down and captured my lips with his. I shifted to straddle his thighs as his arms snaked around me. We spent some time making out as our hands explored each other. It never progressed beyond that. I couldn’t remember the last time I had an intimate moment like this that didn’t turn sexual. It was actually kind of nice just being together. When we finally broke apart, Dieter buried his face in my chest, and hugged me tightly. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, my fingers instinctively going to his fluffy curls. He sighed contentedly, “I can’t believe this is happening right now.” 

I chuckled, “I honestly can’t either…”

“You fought a good fight. I wasn’t sure if you were gonna give in or not,” he mumbled out against my neck.

I scoffed, “Excuse me? You didn’t know I was into you.” 

I felt his rumbling laugh, “Oh I one hundred percent did.” 

I tugged his hair to lean his head back so I could look at him, “Since when?”

He shrugged, “Since last week for sure.”

My head shook from side to side in disbelief, “And here I thought I was doing a good job at hiding it.” 

He laughed, “Maybe for a little while, but no, not recently…I think the water is getting cold.”

I puffed air out of my cheeks, “Yeah it is.”

I slid back off his thighs, then he moved to stand and grab a towel. After helping me to my feet, he began drying me off. Once he was satisfied, he tucked the towel in around my torso, then gave my ass a squeeze as I stepped out of the tub. I squealed, reaching for his towel, then turned to return the favor of getting him dry. 

As I rubbed the towel over his chest, I suddenly felt shy as I asked, “Are you gonna stay with me tonight?”

He smirked, “If you want me to…I mean, I was kinda planning on it…” 

Relief flooded through me. I couldn’t meet his eyes as I spoke, “Good. I wasn’t sure…”

His fingers found their way to my chin and lifted it upward so that I was looking at him, “I’m gonna be wherever you are until you tell me to fuck off.” I couldn’t help laughing. He always had a way with words. 

We didn’t even bother to get dressed before snuggling into bed, tangling our limbs together and making out like a couple of teenagers. I wanted to feel all of him as I drifted off to sleep and I made sure he knew it. He didn’t hesitate to wrap himself around me once we finally settled down. It was the best night’s sleep I had had in a very long time, and I knew it was because of him. 

Next: Week 5 (Part 4)

A/N: Are you all screaming right now? I'm screaming because FINALLY! Took them long enough, right? Could that build up have been any slower? Dieter was taking a chance when he asked to keep going...it was a rather delicate dance on his part. We will hear from him in Part 4, which I currently have no ETA on as I haven't started it yet. (I know, I'm SORRY!)

Poor Kat just couldn't catch a break in this chapter. Just when she was finally going to do something about her little ache, Dieter had to ruin it. He was literally driving her crazy in every way possible. 🤭

What do you think about Dieter's song choices? Was he trying to make a statement?

Can we talk about how much he wants to take care of her (and honestly enjoys it)? He's too damn cute.

Also, can we talk about the sex? Do you think he's about to give Kat some new experiences? If so, how open do you think she'll be to them?

We got some small revelations about Dieter's past. What are your thoughts on that? We have more to unpack there...

✨This chapter's video is a little different. It was made by two of the dance professionals from DWTS (who are married in real life). I love watching these two dance together because their chemistry is off the charts. They are dancing to the same song that Dieter and Kat will be dancing the Rumba too. Honestly, I think their version is better than the one from the actual music video. Give it a watch and enjoy!

Click HERE for the video.

✨THE LIFTS: I’ve included gifs for reference on the lifts. The first two gifs go together. I had to split them because tumblr has a ridiculous size limit.😒

CP Taglist: @titlee78 @legendary-pink-dot  @survivingandenduring @wannab-urs  @harriedandharassed

@hisandsnakes  @misstokyo7love @readingiskeepingmegoing  @runningmom94  @sin-djarin

@cakipy-blog  @missladym1981  @guelyury  @weho2kcmo  @alokaerza  

@girlofchaos  @trulybetty  @rhoorl  @bitchwitch1981  @madnessofadaydreamer

@darkheartgatita  @jazzloveslatte  @timpletance  @musings-of-a-rose  @samiamproductions

@myloveistoolittle  @for-a-longlongtime   @copperhalfcent  @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter

@burntheedges  @stevie75  @bunniboo0015  @quicax3  @jackie923

@sherala007  @pastelnap  @angelofsmalldeath-codeine  @jessthebaker  @rebel-held

@gwendibleywrites  @senorabond  @annalovesflorida  @sandaltoesocks  @katw474

@txlady37 @inkmonster21 @sunnytuliptime @jeewrites @fifitheragertot

@pasc4lfuzz @toomanystoriessolittletime @pedrostories @dieterbravobrainrotclub

[avoidghost]

✨ 4.5K DTIYS ✨

I've been meaning to do this for a few months now -- so better late than never 😅

Anyways, in celebration of 4.5K on Insta and also to celebrate milestones I missed on Tumblr and Twitter, I wanted to do a DTIYS, and of course it's my boys 🥺💖

✨ RULES ✨

- You must be following me! New followers accepted and welcomed 😚

- Draw this in your own style! Change the colors, the poses, expressions, continuity, swap out Deadlock for Drift/Hot Rod for Rodimus/etc -- as long as its dratchrod/hotratchlock and they're giving each other a call/text, it counts!

- Post your entry here on Instagram, Tumblr, or Twitter and tag it as #avoidghostsDTIYS -- I'll be sharing your post in my story and compiling each entry into a story highlight ❤️

- No tracing please. Any entries blatantly traced will be disqualified, but re-entries are accepted! Remember: "Draw this in YOUR own style!"

- One entry per person (I won’t be mad if you drew them more than once — but no extra points unfortunately 😔)

- All mediums are accepted ❤️

✨ PRIZES (please refer to my commission page in my pinned post for examples) ✨

1st: Full Body Full Color Style 2

2nd: Full Color Half Body Style 2

3rd: Flat Color Half Body Style 1

✨ DEADLINE: JULY 31st ✨

(any questions, feel free to reply or DM me :3 )

[alatushours]

☆ TENDER MOMENTS, genshin men — little things they do that never fail to make your heart flutter.

contents. features xiao, albedo, scaramouche & kazuha. established relationships. gender neutral reader. modern au. lots of fluff ! ! kinda crack in scara’s part lol tw. implied insomnia in xiao’s part ♡ word count. 594

notes. hi there, welcome back! thank you for all of the likes on my previous ‘enchanted’ piece, i appreciate it <3 here’s a little drabble with some of my favorite genshin short kings ! ! all of them are 5’3” except xiao WHO IS AN INCH SHORTER :sobs: how could hoyoverse do that to my baby >_< it’s okay xiao will always be taller in my heart 😍

xiao always answers your calls. no matter what time of day it is or what he’s in the middle of doing, he will always pick up the phone.

whenever you facetime him at two in the morning because you can’t sleep, the first thing he says when he accepts the call is, “do you want me to come over?”

before long you’re huddled up in bed with your head against your boyfriend's chest, his tattooed arms snug around your waist. “is this better?” xiao jokes, pulling the blankets tighter around your bare shoulders.

“much better,” you say, burying yourself deeper in the crook of his neck. “i love you.” the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and the feeling of his fingers stroking your hair is enough to make your fall fast asleep soon after.

xiao smiles and plants a gentle kiss on your forehead. “sweet dreams, my love.”

albedo always takes the time to make you lunch to bring to work in the mornings. your health is his number one priority, and he wants to make sure you always having something healthy and filling to eat.

he’s always been an early riser, so it fits perfectly within his morning routine to pack you lunch. it’ll be something different every day; some days it’s a signature mondstadt salad, and other days it might be an inazuma-style bento box, like the one you said you wanted to try when you saw it at the grocery store with him.

sometimes you’ll wake up and go down to the kitchen to find him in the middle of preparing your lunch; he’ll kiss you good morning as he cuts up apple slices.

when you wake up on your afternoon shift days, you’ll notice the neatly packed container of food sitting on the kitchen counter, along with a bottle of water and a handwritten sticky note on the box’s lid with be sure to eat. i love you. -albedo

scaramouche supports you on all of your social media platforms. as a former internet influencer, he shows his love by helping you grow more popular.

one day, all of scara’s instagram followers were shocked when they saw the “0 following” turn into “1 following.” that one person, was you. not long after that, he posted a new story full of silly pictures of you and him, captioned “i wanna punch them (with my lips).”

scaramouche’s contact name for you is “my idiot 🖤” and though he’ll never admit it, he’s always stealing a glance at his phone to check if you texted him or not.

the moment you type “hi” he’ll respond with “what do you want” 0.000012875 seconds after you sent it. you’re always shocked, “how do you reply so fast ??” and then he leaves you on read 💀

kazuha leaves little notes for you everywhere. in between the pages of your notebook, stuck to the bathroom mirror, on top of your laptop.

the notes are short, but always so sweet; things like “i left a little surprise for you :)” with a handmade gift or a cheesy joke such as “are you the sun? because my whole world revolves around you. ;D”

he’ll always draw adorable little doodles of cats and leaves on the notes, and maybe even write a love poem for you if there’s enough space.

every note always manages to bring a smile to your face; you keep all of his notes in a mini album to carry around with you, so whenever you’re away or feeling sad you can take it out and read his sweet, loving words.

ending notes. and there you have it! this was so much less stressful than enchanted but it still took me a few days to finish it :/ sorry for the late night post but this was very cute and much easier to write, so i hope you enjoyed reading as much as i enjoyed writing ! ! ♡

© alatushours 2023. please do not copy, modify, or translate my work in any way, nor upload to any other platforms. in the meantime, if you enjoyed, please like, reblog, and consider leaving a follow! it helps a lot ♡

[funarisjournal]

Dreamtastic!

So, probably based on how long I was translating that commentary last night, and probably because I binged Episodes 1-7 via the DVDs yesterday (so, dramaverse was VERY into my head when I went to bed lol), I ended up dreaming about Tsukutabe - and remembering each dream - again. I had Twitter readily available on my phone, so I posted my log during the night and that's how I still remember all three.

If you've enjoyed my dream posts in the past: grab a snack, sit back and enjoy a triple feature!

Dream # 1 is both quick and not QUITE related to Tsukutabe. Only tangentially. I was drifting off while watching YT vids with my wife and it was during one of those drifts where I got this imagery.

So you have probably seen my post about Emi Nishino's "adventure" that she's doing right now. She's traveling the world as a breather from her summer schedule. Well, this dream was portrayed as if I was opening Instagram and viewing one of Manami Higa's story posts there. In it was a single picture. It was her, doing a selfie, at an airport. Her free hand had her finger against her lips (🤫) and she had some text on the story, sadly it was dream gibberish, but the focus was on a tall person in the background, back facing the camera.

I think my dream was trying to come up with a cute scenario of Higa surprising Nishino during her trip. One of the things Nishino had said during that one photoset from earlier this month was that she would video call Higa if she felt lonely ("and (she) will", she jokingly threatened lol). Putting 2 and 2 together, this dream scenario probably involved a recent phone chat, Higa figuring out where Nishino was, and surprise her with a friendly running-into for maybe a couple of days.

Dream #2 actually inspired me for a drawing I plan to work on soon! It was a summertime special. A full half hour of all four ladies - Nomoto, Kasuga, Nagumo and Yako - planning a day out on the beach! I remember a bonfire scene, where they chatted about past food parties and also cooked up some beach goodies. I also remember Nomoto and Kasuga having a Moment together.

The other two had already headed back to a hotel, I guess? But these two stayed behind a little longer, watching the sun set while they walked along the beach. I specifically remember Nomoto gently urging Kasuga to wade just a little into the water. Ankle deep. No swimsuits, just summer wear. The breeze was gentle and the setting sun was hitting the water at such a good angle, the water was sparkling, basically. It was a nice sight~

And now Dream #3. Another simple one, but longer than Dream #1. It seemed to have been loosely based on a couple of side comics (made in the early days, and I had recently opened to look at the night before) of Nomoto having this nightmare where she wanted to feed Kasuga spaghetti only to find the other woman decided to buy some from a convenience store.

The big difference was that it was the drama version of the ladies instead! There were a lot of new bits there, too, like Dream!Kasuga saying she was too hungry to wait...and Nomoto bolting awake and thinking, "No...I need to make this NOW before it's too late!" Lol

However, I didn't reach the part based off the end of the 2nd page of the source, where Nomoto's nightmare is completely forgotten upon hearing that Kasuga had a dream with her and that it was a good dream.

I would've loved to see how Drama!Nomoto would have reacted lol

[ididit-allofit-foryou]

@ididit-allofit-foryou masterlist

ABOUT ME

Hi! My name’s Rain, and I’m a chronically ill, queer, and nonbinary author, poet, and artist. I mainly post about supernatural (subsection: destiel) and disability content! I also post my art and writing sometimes! My pronouns are they/them, but they/he is also okay! I hope you’ll stick around a while, and feel free to talk to me!! :D

My personal tags are:

#rain rambles (whenever I make a text post or add to someone else's post)

#rain creates (whenever I post art I made)

#rain writes (whenever I post my writing)

#rain rants (vent tag)

I will tag other things sporadically, whenever I have energy 

(I am not at all consistent, I am so sorry)

MY LINKS

Make a Commission or find my published writing on my website

Buy destiel pins, supernatural prints, and get tarot readings on my Etsy

Follow me on Instagram

Become a patron on Patreon and get extra content and commissions

Buy merch with my art on Redbubble

Watch speed paints, real time drawings, and sketchbook tours on my Youtube

See shorter videos on TikTok

Read my fics on Ao3

Tip me on venmo or kofi

PUBLICATIONS

Studying Sonder: A collection of short stories

This book contains several fictional short stories that cover queer themes, found family, mental health issues, and healing.

Out Pour The Violets

This poetry book includes poems from over the span of six years which cover my trajectory through depression, a messy breakup, healing, and eventually opening back up to love. Each poem has a corresponding illustration, drawn by me as well.

KNOW ME!!

This poetry book is filled with poetry that encapsulates my experiences with chronic pain, chronic fatigue, and POTS; my deteriorating relationship with my parents due to their homophobia and bigotry; and my journey to find love (and finally getting that!!). Throughout it all are themes of a deep desire to be known completely and chosen, not despite, but because of everything that I am. 

it was may when the sun burned out

This chapbook covers the course of a month following a devastating breakup with my girlfriend of almost a year. The poems in this book cover a range of emotions from that time, from numbness, to anger, to anguish and beyond.

Something Lost, Something Found

Nathan Grey has just lost his grandfather, the only family he has left, and subsequently, his will to live. A desperate attempt at suicide leaves Nathan in even deeper trouble: a stay in a psychiatric ward. Once there, Nathan faces not only a homophobic patient and a reckoning with his past, but something even scarier—coming to terms with his sexuality and gender identity. With the help of friends old and new, Nathan starts a journey of self-discovery, and gains just enough hope to begin healing at last.

Dear Daniela,

This book is a nuanced journey through sapphic love and loss. It contains every poem I have written to and about my ex-girlfriend, Dany. These poems span from the very start of our relationship to well past the end, each line radiating with raw honesty—a trademark of my writing. This book shows the reality of being in a long-distance relationship; finding and losing a true love; and all the emotions that come along with thinking you know someone deeply, only to discover you didn’t at all.

MY PATREON

I currently have 4 tiers on my Patreon, ranging from $3-$33! Each tier gets unique perks!

Daisy $3 tier:

access to exclusive WIP's of art 

early access to sketchbook content

Daffodil $6 tier:

ability to vote on new art content

downloadable coloring pages

all content from previous levels

Baby’s breath $15 tier:

1 personalized digital sketch of your choice per month!

all content from previous levels

Hyacinth $33 tier:

every month I will mail patrons at this level a 4x6 photo print of my art!

all content from previous levels

ESSAY EDITING

SERVICES PROVIDED

I am an essay writing tutor, and work with all grade levels to build writing and communication skills.

I will make in-line edits for grammar, and write detailed comments about any changes you need to make to structure or content. I am able to work with essays on any subject, as well as creative writing, resumes, cover letters, and poetry.

 If you need help with something not listed here, I am willing to edit almost anything—just email me!

NOTE: I will not partake in plagiarism, i.e. rewriting things for you. My goal is to help you improve your writing and gain skills that you will be able to use in the future.

PRICES

ESSAYS & CREATIVE WRITING

(12 pt Times New Roman Font, double spaced)

1-3 pages: $30

4-6 pages: $40

7-9 pages: $55

10+ pages: +$5/each added page

RESUMES & COVER LETTERS

$25 flat fee

POETRY

First 300 words: $20

Every additional 200 words: +$10

PAYMENT

I take payment through Venmo (preferred) and Kofi.

For any questions please contact me at: willowrainfae@gmail.com

COMMISSION INFO (prices in USD)

DIGITAL COMMISSIONS

Sketch–$10

Tattoo design– $50-$100 (price will vary depending on amount of detail, etc)

Portrait (limit to one character/drawing)– $30

Full body drawing– $40 +$20/extra character

Cartoon style– $30 + $20/extra character

Painting style (bust)– $50 base + $20/extra character

Painting style (full body)– $80 base + $20/extra character

WHAT YOU GET

A png file of the finished commission that you can then print but PLEASE DO NOT RESELL

If you post anywhere, please give credit

ACRYLIC PAINTING COMMISSIONS

pet portrait– $80+ +$40/extra character

bust portrait– $150+ +$80/extra character

acrylic pour– $60+

abstract– $80+

**shipping not included in the prices listed above**

WHAT YOU GET

a physical acrylic painting on canvas mailed to you

PLEASE DO NOT RESELL

If you post anywhere, please give credit

WHAT I NEED FROM YOU

A detailed description of what you want from the commission

As many reference photos as you can find (the more photos, the better the commission will be)

Your choice of a simple background

For more info or to make a commission, DM me or email me at willowrainfae@gmail.com

Payment upfront through venmo (preferred), kofi, or paypal

*It can take up to two months to complete a digital commission, & up to 4 months for an acrylic painting, but may be sooner*

[morimakesfanart]

2020 Oct 10 -Lucid Dream: The Last Push to Make Sindria's Prophet

*It's my birthday, so I'm adding another chapter to the Adventures of Simpbad :D

*I have been lucid dreaming since around the age of 6. I keep a dream diary and draw parts. Sometimes I like what happens in my dreams so much that I use it in my stories; that's why I go by "Mori's Lucid Stories" for my original work.

*I have had several dreams involving Magi so I've decided to add them to the Adventures of Simpbad Collection :3 The art will mainly be edited photos of what I put in my dream diary. I will draw things digitally if I didn't end up drawing anything traditionally.

*This dream happened when I hit the first road block in writing Sindria's Prophet and was the push I needed to fix it and what lead me to choose to post Sindria's Prophet online :3 Also, I didn't think I would be posting this dream when I started drawing it, so the first half isn't as well drawn as the last few pages.

*The original versions of this are still up on Tumblr, Instagram, and Twitter. This version has a novel version of the dream added, and cleaned up art of the original photos of the pages.

*I did rewrite a bit of the text in the images, but please let me know if there's any part that still isn't legible. Also so everyone knows, all of the purple and pink was done with colored ink traditionally, so I tried to keep that feel with the edits.

~POV Mori~ I was having an anime convention dream. I get those fairly often since cons are some of the most liberating experiences I've had. I had finally accepted that I had been hyper fixating on Sinbad for the past 5 years. I had tried my hand at writing fics but most stayed as concepts and drafts. I decided to try writing my first self insert Isekai, and had hit a road block. Thinking so much about an anime/manga was probably why I was having an anime convention dream.

I passed by a manga seller and decide to take a look. The only official English translation of The Adventures of Sinbad was a short run the first few volumes in Singapore. But here in this dream someone was selling official English versions of every volume. It didn't matter if this was a dream, I was going to buy them!

Having successfully made my dream purchase, I wanted to go somewhere I could sit down and read them. As I was about to leave, a familiar color palette appeared in my peripheral vision. King Sinbad was standing by the same bookshelf I was just at!

I knew he was tall, but it's different seeing him in person. Even with all of my fixating on him, Sinbad had yet to appear in my dreams. He was right there though! 100000% That was Sinbad! But this was a convention dream. He could be a cosplayer and not the real deal. The line often gets blurred in my dreams so did it even matter?

Two gold eyes turned towards me and I ran for the cover of another bookshelf. He was gorgeous in person and my heart could not handle it! Who knows what would have happened if I actually talked to him?!

'But this is my dream!! There's no reason for me to run away.' This dream has no signs of becoming a nightmare, so I could still change or remove anything I didn't like. Sinbad would never be able to hurt me in a dream unless I let him. 'I have been under a lot of stress recently though...'

It was worth some risk, but not a big risk. I took out my phone and used the zoom function of the camera to get a closer look at him without having to get close enough to risk him talking to me. That was something I didn't think I could handle yet. I also didn't know how long I could handle being around him so I sneakily made my way to the exit like I originally planned. As I got close, the gold eye in my phone screen made contact with me, and Sinbad smirked. 'ABORT!' I ran the rest of the way out.

That was more than enough Sinbad for me, thanx. I was no longer used to experiencing any form of attraction, and it had become a bit of a trigger honestly. Liking someone could always be used against me. My ex fiance made sure I'd learn that lesson....

This was a good dream so far, so I would not dwell on such things!!! There was a whole rest of a dream con to explore. I could go to more venders for impossible finds, or a panel, or watch cosplayers or stalk Sinbad Watching cosplayers, it is!

--- I find that the dealers room is one of the best places for spotting cosplayers, so guess where I went back to?

Cosplay is always really cool regardless of skill level or accuracy. It shows passion and love for a story. And some can be very creative in taking characters into different styles. In this dream there was a crossover cosplay of someone dressed as Inuyasha, but done in the style of Hollow!Ichigo from bleach. They even had on white body paint, and contacts that made their corneas black. Given how full demon mode Inuyasha was, the idea of a hollow version was scary, and rad as hell. His claw attack would be devastating- And he was destroying the venders with the exact attack I was just thinking about! The cosplayer was no longer a cosplayer! This is the part of lucid dreaming that isn't always the greatest. I thought too hard about something and it became a real problem.

I yelled at my mistake, "Stop that right now!!"

To which the once cosplayer yelled back, "This is a dream! I do what I want!" And what he wanted was murder.

The audacity! "This is my dream! Step off!"

He attacked me! "You can't tell me what to do!"

I dodged it, and I was done playing. "Yeah, no." If diplomacy wasn't going to work then there was no reason to keep him in my dream. "If you're going to be violent, you can go. This whole part of the con can go." Sometimes it's easier to get rid of the whole area than just one person since the area can hold onto the emotions and make the same type of thing keep happening. If I don't nip it in the bud it could become a nightmare or night terror, and God knows I've had more than my fair share of those.

The entire room got cleared into a white void. There was a floor and walls where doors into the room were, but everything else was gone. My emotions returned to normal too. This empty room was still attached to the rest of the dream world, so convention goers started walking in and getting confused about the missing dealers' room. Creating a new place for venders would only risk things going violent again. I made comfy chairs and cushions for people to rest on while I figured out what to do with the cleared space.

--- My safest bet was to change the genre so I could have a different type of environment. It had been a while since I had a fun adventure dream. To keep it from going potentially violent again I made it like a play ground or obstacle course instead of an actual place with real danger. I grew up during the PS2 era of games so beaches and platforming like in Kingdom Hearts, Jak&Daxter, and Ratchet and Clank are hugely nostalgic, and have become symbols of safety and fun for me. And so I made a beach with an obstacle course, platforming, and a fake broken ship. And of course, with a change of scenery comes a costume change. I went for something that was a mix of dance clothes and reenactment clothes from when I was in a reenactment pirate band -there was fake broken pirate ship here after all. (I decided it was a pirate ship because that seemed more fun.)

There was a cuddle puddle of three people in one of the chairs I made. I left the manga I bought with them, telling them, "Guard this manga with your life!" before heading out to the obstacle course I had made.

As I gave them a two fingered salute, I noticed that a familiar purple haired King was standing behind them. Everything inside me knew it was the same Sinbad from earlier and, that like the Inuyasha cosplayer becoming real, this Sinbad was real. Those metal vessels weren't only for show. What's more was I was not emotionally ready for coping with feeling attraction and fear at the same time again.

So I jumped down onto the sandy platforms below.

I made dream versions of my some of my friends appear. Hopefully, they would be enough of a distraction to make the Sinbad vanish. I ended up summoning art friends from highschool and college though, so they refused to explore with me. Instead, they actively reminded me who had shown up. "If you don't get running, he's gonna catch up."

Sinbad jumped down onto the starting platform and I bolted down the obstacle course. It was clear that my subconscious wanted me to face this; even if I changed the dream Sinbad would appear again. I had two options: face Sinbad and my fear of my own feelings of attraction, or turn the dream off into nothingness. Ahead of me, the platforms were leading to the ruined pirate ship; the next part would be inside it. And like a video game, the water around us meant death.

Sinbad calling behind me, gave me my answer. I jumped into the water.

--- The dream above the surface couldn't reach me here. It was quiet and calm. I could drift there forever if I wanted to -or at least until I woke up. As the feeling of safety washed over me, I started feeling bored. I had made a whole puzzle plaformer and I didn't even get to go through it! I had been in the nothing for a while; maybe Sinbad was gone.

There was no way I'd be that lucky. If nothing else, I could come up far enough away to have a chance to brace myself before he reaches me. I swam to the edge of an area further down the course. When I breached the surface of the water, I tried to will myself out faster than I could climb up. Two hands reached down to help pull me onto land. 'Who was I trying to fool...?' Of course, Sinbad would appear as soon as I returned.

He smiled down at me as I was finally standing on land again. "There you go."

"I could have gotten out on my own." Gosh, even to my own ears I sounded like a tsundere. This was the best I could do with my trust issues, huh? Dreams make emotional regulation harder too.

Sinbad's smile didn't waver. "Of course." In fact, he looked amused.

I grumbled, accepted my fate and sat down with my legs hanging over the edge. Looking at the water from here, it was obvious that I wouldn't have been able to reach high enough to pull myself out of the water on my own. If my subconscious was this determined to make this interaction happen then it was something I really needed to work through.

Sinbad walked over to where I sat down. "You're done running away?"

"I guess."

He sat down next to me, and crossed his legs and his arms. "So why were you avoiding me all this time?" He didn't look at me directly, and kept his smile.

I watched the water in front of us. "I'm scared of the things I like hurting me because I like them."

"Are you scared of me sitting here?"

"I'm not running right now, am I?" I wasn't scared of Sinbad. He was non-violent unless there were no other options, so he'd never have a reason to hurt me.

The King's voice was boisterous, "That's great news!"

I smiled at myself. "I guess I am doing a bit better." That gave me back some confidence. My smile broadened, and I made of show of shrugging as I continued, "I do still have plenty of reasons to be scared that you're close. You're also a greedy, egotistical, over powered asshole who has killed a lot of people -not to mention manga spoilers." The man was a walking death machine when he wanted to be, especially towards the ends of both mangas in the series.

"-Ah," was all he said in response. Sinbad was always the type to refrain from commenting when he couldn't deny the truth.

Now that I was thinking about the situation instead of panicking I was realizing some things. "I'm pretty curious on why you're talking to me." Flirting with con goers would probably be more in character.

He finally looked at me. "Why don't you tell me since you know me so well?" His eyes sparkled with interest and curiosity.

'Smarmy piece of- how dare he be this pretty! Fine!' My thoughts got stuck on his face for a moment since I was finally looking at him too. I thought about his question. Sinbad was power hungry by the time he became a king. And he had a growing god complex. And he actively sought out the strongest people in the world like the Aladdin, David, and Arba.

'Oh...' I had basically just erased and remade part of the world in front of him. That was why he hadn't followed after me when I first saw him; I wasn't anything special yet. 'My subconscious couldn't make him want to talk to me for nice reasons?'

I sighed. "I might like you but," that was obvious and I wouldn't deny it, "I'm not going to help you do whatever you want. I just didn't want violence in this dream." Now that I knew what was going on, I needed to set my boundaries.

Sinbad hummed, and looked out at the water. "I understand." After a moment he added, "We both prefer peace. It's a start."

That made me laugh. "You really don't quit, do you?"

Sinbad continued the good mood with flirting. "I got to make a pretty girl laugh so it's been a good day."

I gifted him another chuckle for the sentiment behind his words. I'm gender fluid, so not always a girl/woman, but I didn't think he'd understand that even if I explained. This wasn't the time to be pedantic. I was more interested in enjoying the improved mood.

We continued to talk in that light hearted manor about a handful of things. It was a bit of necessary self reflection involving my fears. It was okay for me to feel attraction, even if I wasn't ready for any of the steps that come afterwards. Maybe Sinbad was perfect for me in that way. In the whole series he never falls in love or gets married, and in that moment what I needed to feel safe was knowing that flirting was all it would ever be. I could enjoy feelings of attraction without the fear of being betrayed later because Sinbad would never promise himself to anyone.

[apple-grass-and-smiles]

Hello! The ever-sweet and wonderful @marthaskane tagged me to share eight shows that define me/help you get to know me. Without further ado, the shows!

Alias (2001-2006)

Alias has taught me the value of old LiveJournal pages and the Wayback Machine more than any other show I've ever loved. I discovered this show in 2013 when it was on Netflix and then I spent a few months in Germany, where I spent too much money buying almost the entire show on iTunes because I could not comprehend going more than a day without Sydney Bristow with me.

2. The Clone Wars (2008-2013, 2014, 2020)

I remember when this show first aired and my siblings and I had a square dance at our school (very American, I know) so we had to DVR it. The next morning we snuck down early to watch it with the volume super low so we wouldn't wake up our parents. Few shows have continuously come back into my life the way this one has. I can track a lot of how I've changed as a fan through the different ways I've viewed this show over the last 15 years.

3. Fringe (2008-2013)

I've been rewatching this show since January of this year and can confirm: it is still a nearly perfect 100 episodes of TV. Fringe manages to perfect a lot of the plot lines and dynamics that appear in Alias (both are J.J. Abrams/his collaborators projects). It manages to walk the line between a procedural and a mythology-driven show beautifully and so clearly knows what message and themes it wants to share from the very first shot. If you like exploring messy family dynamics, action, and the X-Files, Fringe is a good option for you.

4. Gotham (2014-2019)

I historically have no cared much at all about Batman. He struck me as pretty boring in comparison to every other person he interacted with. Gotham change that for me (turns out he just needed to be put next to any even more boring guy, but I digress...). Loving this show is a lesson in looking past weird choices, wacky inconsistencies, and learning to just trust that writers will give you a fun ride, even if you understand less that 15% of it. It helped me remember that the sentence "I love this show" does not always mean "here is a perfect example of perfect storytelling" and just how freeing that can be. It also gave me a beautiful little group of friends who continue to make me smile on a regular basis.

5. Blindspot (2015-2020)

While this show may not be one I post about often, it was foundational for how I interact in fandom now. It was one of the first times I was active in a fandom from the start of the show. It was the first time I was in a fandom group chat and my Tumblr friends broke containment into being people I followed on Instagram and texted. I organized a Secret Santa. It was the first time I remember actively freaking out of promo photos (1x09 IYKYK) and synopses. Almost all the confidence I have when interacting in fandoms is from these experiences. And the plot is stellar.

6. Iron Fist (2017-2018)

I can't tell you how I ended up watching this. I do not know what prompted me to turn it on but I'm really glad I did. This show has so many amazing nuggets of amazingness and its shortcomings brought me together with two of my favorite people as we tried to understand what had gone wrong and where. (This is not a good ad for the show.) I love getting to play with stories and characters that have seemingly infinite potential and getting to do it with other people who are just as committed to the story as I was meant the world.

7. The Rookie (2018-present)

I fought against this one so hard. I did not want to get into it, but as my dash filled with those gifs of Lucy in the green dress and I had my wonderful friend pitching the show to me over and over, I caved. And I'm really glad I did. The experience of watching a long season over months, one week and one episode at a time, is so different than streaming or rewatching shows and I'd forgotten how much I missed it until I got to do it again for this show. My Tuesday livestreams with my lovely friend single-handedly pulled me through so many rough spots over the last year. For a procedural dramedy, The Rookie continues to serve up some of the best characters on TV right now and consistently delivers some of the best cold opens.

8. Prodigal Son (2019-I'm in denial)

The show that owns my heart and soul. The show I'd sell my organs to get new episodes of. Returning to this show, whether I'm writing fic, doing a TED Talk in my head about the psychology in the show, or actually watching an episode, consistently feels like coming home. I did not know it was possible for someone to stick their hand in your head and pull out a show custom-made for you, but that's what this is. The characters are all so perfectly imperfect and desperate to be better. The plots are just the perfect amount of bonkers. The show being a drama pretending to be a procedural is beautiful. If you'd told me in 2019 that a show about a profiler whose dad is a serial killer and they solve crimes together would be the show that would leave an indelible mark on my life, I would have rolled my eyes because that's so cliche. 2019!me had no idea what she was on about. But I'm glad she figured it out and randomly put on this little show one night that had continued to pull me through good days and bad days and everything in between.

As for tagging other people, anyone is welcome to join but I’ll specifically tag some people I know who haven't been tagged (I think): @electricbluebutterflies, @chenlucys, @shinythinx, @rojaswarren, @meandmyechoes, @padme-deserved-better, @whitesunlars, @harrows-bones, @bpdanakins, and @violetsandmagpies.

[obscuremechala]

testing testing 123

i just got here so i wanna test things out, probably won't keep this post in the long run but maybe i'll forget this is up or something idk

this is my profile pic, i drew it myself real quick and i don't feel like elaborating why. the url is a tad different bc i was thinking of sharing it on instagram (i didn't tho) and tumblr doesn't allow underscores apparently

but i digress

i don't have much to talk about but that's 'cause i don't have a prompt or anything this was just meant to be a test

one day i'll ramble about my story stuff bc there's a lot going on there but there's still a lot i need to figure out

hmm maybe ill do an intro or something

but probably not here i don't think it'll fit

ill test things in the meanwhile

italics? oooh yes

bold

[redacted] (huh would that be unredacted or what is this a paradox)

awelkhfas ooh different fonts too

point 1

point 2

there are no points

what am i doing

idk man

i just got here and want to learn and maybe interact

i tend to just lurk on socials but i am capable of interaction

i just usually don't

friends are nice, i wish i could interact with mine more

testing testing one two three

bigger

biggest

moths are cute, i like moths

one of my fantasy races/species are inspired by moths but that's for another time

i don't expect anyone to actually read this

tho i do expect it'll take me some time to get used to things here

ive seen a lot of posts on pinterest while looking for writing advice and character design inspo, tho now my feed is 1/3 transformers, 1/3 pokemon, and 1/3 misc. tumblr posts

i also like robots and transformers

what if moth robot

hmm lemme think

i could def make it work in my universe, i shall ponder

anyway more tests

ooo smol

wonder what this does

color text nice

this song is great i found it a few days ago and have listened to it several times on loop

however i don't have spotify i just have youtube music

sad that they deleted google play music, at least i could listen to music outside of the app and with my screen off without paying money

i haven't actually played undertale, i watched a neutral run playthrough and have played deltarune, if i get the game id probably do a pacifist run

undertale music is good tho

h

there is no 2

what did that do

i don't really get it

maybe it'll do something when i publish this

ooo i should post some art

i don't have a lot tho

maybe i should redraw my old art bc i looked at some last night and yikes

apparently i only recently discovered decent anatomy/proportions and that was via mostly guesture poses

i have recently been shown the way of shapes and im watching a lot of character design and redesign stuff along with my hermitcraft

i never really got into miraculous ladybug but for some reason watching people tear into it and redesign the characters tends to pull me in like a moth to a light

it's funny bc i have no investment in what people are complaining about but im interested in how they make things better/different

also taking notes on what not to do so

i wish i could draw my characters, a good chunk are robots and hard to design, 90% of the rest of them are homemade fantasy races/species i have to actually conceptualize, and then the humans are kinda just there

bc i do have humans there just arent a ton bc i must make everything hard for myself

dw its fun for me it just takes a long time to actually hammer out

i wanna talk more about them but im thinking of better ways to actually organize my thoughts that just vomiting words on a page that no one will see anyway

it's gonna take some tome to figure out this place

maybe ill make separate blogs for original and fandom stuff idk ill explore the features more and get back to

[puttingwingsonwords]

[image ID in alt text]

July Reading Wrap Up

I share a reading wrap up on instagram every month where I just list the books I read and how I rated them. The character limit doesn’t really allow for much more. So I figured I might start posting extended wrap ups here on tumblr!

Stats

total books read: 6

2023 reading challenge progress: 56 out of 100 (slightly behind)

formats: 2 print books, 3 e-books, 1 audiobook

Books

My favourite books this month were Changelings (but I might be biased because my story is in it) and Dungeon Meshi Volume 4.

• Changelings: An Autistic Trans Anthology edited by Ocean Riley and Ryan Vale (digital)

rating: 5 out of 5 stars

pub date: TBD

I’m so proud to have my story included in this amazing anthology. All the other stories are incredible, and I felt so seen as a trans autistic person.

• Dungeon Meshi Volumes 4 and 5 by Ryoko Kui (digital)

rating: 5 and 4 out of 5 stars, respectively

This series is so fun and the fourth volume packs an extra emotional punch.

• Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett (physical)

rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

I’m reading all the Discworld books in order with the Around the Disc 800 readathon. I’m super behind but that’s okay. This was my favourite Discworld book so far! I felt it dragged a bit in the third quarter so it didn’t quite reach 5 stars.

• The Hand on the Wall by Maureen Johnson (audio)

rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

The Truly Devious books are all fun young adult mystery novels. As a teen I would probably have loved them, now they’re just easy entertainment (and as, at 28, I’m not the intended audience any more, that’s fine and good!).

• The World According to Garp by John Irving (physical)

rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars, but I might actually change it to 2

I wasted however long it took me to read these 600 pages trying to figure out why people love this book. And I still don’t know! Here’s my short review on instagram.

Currently reading and TBR

I’ve finally gone back to reading my ARC of Deep Roots by Vanessa Roades now that I’ve got a new e-reader. I also started The Box in the Woods by Maureen Johnson, the next standalone novel in the Truly Devious series. I was thinking of reading something else, but it’s set during the summer so I decided not to put it off.

As for my TBR, I want to catch up on Around the Disc 800 and also probably read Legends and Lattes.

[kindh3art3d]

catch me part 3 - jvke fanfic

I sat in my dorm, all the lights turned off, my roommate was gone for the weekend, giving me the space, I needed. For the past few days, I had felt like I was in mourning.

I missed Jake.

No texts, no phone calls, nothing.

I was scared I ruined our friendship.

I was so, so selfish, so stupid.

It was too soon, he was still upset about his breakup, and I decided to kiss him.

Kiss him!

Why, why, why?

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I quickly wiped them away with my hoodie sleeve.

I was frustrated, heartbroken and lost.

I wondered how long it would be like this.

Which one of us would break first and reach out?

I didn't know how long I wanted to wait to find out.

—

I went on with my life- the best I could anyways.

I went to my classes and to work, studied late in the library.

All by myself.

I never felt more alone. It was only the absence of Jake's presence in my life is when I realized how lonely I was. All my friends and family lived states away, and I wasn't super close with anyone else here.

I sat by the lake- our lake, and watched the remaining geese. Most had decided to go to a warmer south, these were the stragglers. It was cold now, almost December, the air had a bitter sting, I could feel my nose chill, and I prayed I wouldn't catch a cold. Suddenly I felt and ache in my chest. It felt like a knife, it twisted mercilessly. I missed him so much.

So damn much.

I wished he wasn't all I thought about.

All I wanted.

I impulsively grabbed my phone.

He had been posting cover videos on instagram, and they always cheered me up.

I refreshed my page, and sure enough he posted a new video...

—

The semester came and went, the holidays a blur. I went home to see my family.

My neighbor Iza, was home for the holidays, she was my childhood best friend and we decided got coffee to catch up. When she asked me about the "cute boy" who was always in my snapchat stories I reluctantly told her everything that took place over the last year.

She was the only person who asked me about Jake, the only one I really told anyways.

My parents asked if I made any friends, I lied. I told them me and my roommate were super close, when in all reality, I only saw her in passing.

We celebrated the New Year, Iza invited me to some party, some of our old mutual friends were there. As we stood counting down to the new year, I was alone. Iza brought her boyfriend and they stood out on the balcony, waiting for midnight.

"3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!" The room yelled and couples kissed as music blared and fireworks exploded outside. I watched, gave a small smile to no one and sipped my drink.

I hated how alone I was. Hated how sad I still was.

I missed him.

On the way home Iza and her boyfriend laughed and talked in the front seat, I sat in the backseat with my legs pulled up to my chin.

Suddenly my phone vibrated in my pocket.

jake

happy new year, hope ur ok

I squeezed my eyes and threw my phone across the seat.

I never responded.

—

When the spring semester started, I felt myself starting to heal and move on a little. After visiting home for the holidays and me and Iza reconnected, we made a point on staying in contact. I've been less lonely with her constant check ins and semi-constant FaceTime calls. My grades even started to look a little better. Finally for the first time in a long time, I started to feel okay again.

I realized that I didn't need Jake in my life to make me happy.

But god, he always did...

But just when I felt secure and sure about myself, a 15 second video made my world crash down on me.

Iza sent me a cute makeup video and I noticed the catchy song attached to it, I liked it so I decided to search it up.

It was called "Upside Down" by JVKE, and sure as hell. It was Jake.

"Up down, right down

Looking for your love, right now

La, la, la, la

Up down, all around

Turn my stomach upside down

La, la, la, la"

I went to his instagram (I recently unfollowed him...) and realized he was started to get quite a following. Turned out he got signed by a label and was queued to release more music soon. I heard the song everywhere and marveled how he could just in the last few months make a trending song.

—

As time slowly crept on, I wondered how he was, now with a popular song and an official artist name that people knew.

I always wanted to reach out, my hands ached for the motion of texting him. But it never happened.

I watched as he released more and more music, each song becoming more popular than the last.

I wasn't the same girl who cried over the mere thought of him, but I really missed him, and wondered if I severed our friendship forever. After all he did try to reach out and I did nothing.

It was already too late, I knew I'd just be a memory to him.

Someone in the past.

I was probably no better than Faith in his eyes.

—

This year I graduated college.

It was a day that I always dreamt I'd spend with Jake, us standing on stage, both proudly clenching our degrees, family and friends cheering us on. We always talked about it. Always talked about today.

We never talked about what would happen to us after we graduated.

But we never even made it that far, so what does it matter now?

As the Dean called me up on stage, I felt my nerves take over as each step seemed impossible. I held my breath as my shoes clicked against the smooth auditorium floor. I griped the rail as I got walked into stage. I graduated with honors, which meant I was to give a small speech. I hated speeches.

"Fellow class men, we all know how hard it was to get here. All the hours we spent studying, our eyes unfocused and teary. All the times we couldn't sleep because we were worried about our grades, and how no matter how hard we tried, we'd never be good enough." I paused as I scanned the room, vaguely recognizing a few graduates in the front row.

"We can now proudly say, we did it. It was all worth it."

Cheers echoed throughout the room as I accepted my degree. I was happy they were content enough with the stupidity small speech. But truthfully, everyone hates sitting through those kinds of things.

—

I found my family and Iza and we together all walked down to the reception dinner. I wasn't all too excited to go but, my family insisted (Honestly, they probably just wanted free food).

We stood in a circle as my parents talked with a faculty member, apparently my dad and him attended the same college. Apparently I was the only one who didn't really care about the conversation, because I paid little attention to them, instead I swirled my drink around in my glass.

Iza must have noticed my disconnect, because she suddenly tugged on my arm,

"Hey, I'm gonna go back and get some of those mini brochette things. Wanna come with?"

I laughed and agreed, thankful for some distraction from my thoughts. We locked arms as we made our way to the refreshment table.

"So what now Y/N?" she asked, I looked at her puzzled as I grabbed a small chocolate truffle and popped it in my mouth

"What do you mean?"

She shrugged, using the mini tongs to pick up a zillion pieces of brochette to fill her flimsy paper plate.

"Like what's the plan now?"

I bit my lip, annoyed that my own concern was being vocalized by someone else.

"Umm, I'm going to be looking for a job." That was the strongest answer I could give at the moment.

Iza ramped on, but by now I couldn't hear her.

I saw a ghost.

He stood against a wall, his dark eyes trained on me.

A small smirk grew on his lips and spread up his face.

In that moment I didn't even think, I just stood there as he approached me.

Iza was confused at first, but then she saw the look of recondition on my face and slowly backed up.

"Jake" I breathed his name, it was both foreign and familiar on my lips.

I thought I was imagining things, until he wrapped his arms around me.

I suddenly started to shake as emotion washed over me.

He held me, smoothing my hair. His familiar warm scent filled my senses as I buried my face in his shirt. I couldn't believe it.

He was real.

He was real.

But just as quickly as the moment of perfection came, it quickly ended.

"Y/N" he whisper next to my ear, his voice sent chills down my spine.

I could only manage a mumbled

"Mm?"

He pulled me closer

"We need to talk."

[hamsterboos]

Going to You

I wanted to make this a longer project, but I don't have the time nor the energy to add to my WIP lmao. But either way, I really hope that people enjoy this cute little (not so little?) story about long distance friends meeting!! Also the banners I'm making for these are so trash but I'm rolling with it lol. As usual, let me know if you'd like to be added to my tag list for TOG!

Word Count: 2729 CW: cursing Read on AO3 Rowaelin Month 2022 Masterlist

Day 3 of Rowaelin Month Prompt: Travel/Vacation

~~~~~~~~~~

>> Look, it’s you! I appreciate you. *Attachment: a picture of a hawk trying to pick up a tortoise with the caption: ‘HAWKS. Born to make you feel smarter’*

<< Aelin. 

>> Yes?

<< Shut up.

Aelin laughed out loud as she locked her phone and tucked it away into her pocket before walking into the conference room for her meeting. It was always nice to get a laugh in by teasing her best friend when her day was dragging , especially when she knew that he wasn’t going to get his feathers ruffled just from a simple joke. 

Even as the thought crossed her mind, Aelin had to suppress another laugh. She wished that she could’ve seen his reaction in real time but alas, that was the way things worked with them — texts, phone calls, the occasional video calls. 

She had met Rowan Whitethorn accidentally a year ago, and if she were being honest, she felt as though the fact that the two of them had met was simply a stroke of fate, not an accident. 

It was one of many late nights that Aelin had been spending at work, waiting for a client to respond to her email, when she decided to waste time on Instagram, and as she got further and further down her scrolling spree, she came across book editor Rowan Whitethorn’s page about current popular books on social media and how social media was causing waves of trends amongst the book community. She messaged him about the video, something that she normally didn’t do. The most Aelin would do to interact with others online was like the reels and posts she would see.

She still didn’t understand why she had decided to click on his profile and message him, but that was what kickstarted their friendship. The four hour time difference between Terrasen and Doranelle made it so Aelin’s late night was merely Rowan’s early evening, and somehow they made it work. The single message had spiraled into a conversation that lasted for hours, and Aelin had left at nearly eleven that night, despite finishing the last bit of work an hour earlier. The next morning, she had awoken to a few more messages from Rowan, seeming incredibly hesitant as he wondered if they could continue the conversation. 

Aelin wholeheartedly agreed.

Soon enough, the conversation had moved off of Instagram to texting as they shared phone numbers, and then whenever Aelin was driving home from work, she’d call Rowan and they’d talk on the phone, and on weekends, they would video call too. Within a year, everyone around Aelin had spoken to Rowan at least once and they all knew that he was her best friend. They were essentially penpals, but it was also so much more. Rowan was her rock, her home away from home, and every day she would look forward to the moments when they could get a few messages in. 

To be fair, half the time the messages would involve Aelin teasing Rowan for being such a fussy, old man — she didn’t even care that he was thirty years old, four years older than her twenty six. There was one time where Aelin was sick enough to sleep through the day, and Rowan swore he thought she had gone up and died without telling him. Needless to say, he now had her cousin, Aedieon’s, phone number, and she had gotten herself a worrywart across the ocean. 

It wasn’t as though she would trade that for the world, though, because even though she had never met Rowan in person, she was fairly sure that he was her favorite person in the world, and the feeling probably extended past friendship, but Aelin would be absolutely batshit insane to ever tell him that, especially over text . 

But despite everything, she wanted to do something special for the two of them, so ever since Rowan had mentioned that he needed a weekend off away from his normal life, she decided that she would take it upon herself to plan the perfect little weekend vacation that they could use to meet up as well.

Aelin had booked the tickets to a small group of tourist friendly islands called Mistward last night and was waiting for the perfect time to forward the ticket information over to his email, and what better time would it be than to do it when he knew he couldn’t call her and chew her out because she was going to be in a meeting? Deciding to bite the bullet, she opened up her email, entered Rowan's email address, and hit forward before setting her phone on vibrate and pulling up a notes app on her tablet as the meeting began.

Sure enough, within minutes, her phone started vibrating. Discreetly looking down at her watch where the notifications were also coming through, all she saw was her name coming from Rowan, and she suppressed a smile at the thought of how angry he would pretend to be.

It took longer than expected to get back to Rowan thanks to the meeting running longer than the allotted forty five minutes, but Rowan had responded as soon as she did.

<< Aelin.

<< Aelin.

>> I thought you told me to shut up, so I did!

<< You did not just pay for two tickets to an island destination for this weekend.

>> I most definitely did, buzzard.

<< I can’t expect you to pay for me like that

>> Get used to it because if it were up to you, you’d never take a break

>> Says the woman working sixty hours a week?

<< Shush this is my moment to make sense

<< Just accept it! This is our moment to meet, Rowan

Aelin had to wait a couple of minutes before Rowan responded, and the entire time she was waiting, she tried not to chew her thumbnail down to the very nub, and thankfully she succeeded, but just barely.

>> Fine, but I’m paying for dinner.

<< It’s a date.

~*~*~*~*~

In mere minutes, she would be seeing Rowan Whitethorn for the first time.

In mere minutes, she would be touching Rowan Whitethorn for the first time.

In mere minutes, she would be with her best friend for the first time, and Aelin absolutely could not deal. 

She never realized that it could be strange, the feeling of meeting someone for the first time despite having known such deep and sincere things about them. 

She had known the pain of loss that he had felt when Lyria had died, just weeks after getting engaged to her, and he had understood the guilt she felt when Sam had died due to a drunk driver because he was trying to pick her up from a party one night. 

Aelin knew Rowan, but it was incredibly weird to think about how she didn’t really know him at the same time? She didn’t know if he cracked his knuckles frequently like she did or if he liked to twitch his leg; however, she desperately hoped all of that would change over the course of the next two days.

The two were expected to land within thirty minutes of each other (which was a miracle in of itself considering the time difference of leaving on a Friday afternoon) and had decided to meet up at the baggage claim area, and so there Aelin was, sitting on her suitcase with her phone in hand as she scrolled through Rowan’s Instagram pictures, trying to visualize his small photos as a real, live human before deciding that the entire idea was stupid and she needed to get her shit together.

He was going to be here in…three minutes, and she felt the pterodactyls rushing her stomach. Oh god, she could not throw up here. That would be such a bad way to meet someone for the first time. Instead of thinking about all of the nerves, she focused on looking at her notes app and checking through the itinerary of what they were planning on doing. As soon as they got out of the airport, the plan was to get to the hotel that Aelin had booked where they had connecting rooms and immediately go out walking without a plan to find the little nooks and crannies of the area with the restaurants without lines going out the door. Those places tended to be more authentic and not geared towards tourists. Obviously, they were going to do all the touristy things later on during the rest of the weekend before they had to leave Sunday night for the flight. It was in the plan that they would be going to the Oakwald Wilderness Park and swimming in the local waterfalls. After that, they would also be going to the beach and just spending a while tanning in the sunlight, but for the most part, Aelin wanted the chance to relearn her best friend in person . 

She was so lost in looking at her phone that she jumped when she felt someone touch her shoulder. Whipping her head around, she startled as she took in the man standing in front of her with a slight nervous smile. His tan skin was a contrast against the silver hair that Aelin had only seen through screens. The tattoo running down his left arm was exposed as well, another thing that Aelin had only seen in detail through her screen as he showed it to her through the camera. Finally, she looked into his pine-green eyes, and it finally hit her that the man in front of her was Rowan. 

Her Rowan.

“Oh my god,” she breathed, standing and turning around at the same time, nearly tumbling off the suitcase. Rowan grabbed her gently by her forearms to steady her, and they stood there for a moment. Aelin was aware that they probably looked like a pair of idiots pretending to be in a movie, but it felt as though time had stopped for her as she took in Rowan until she had the presence of mind to speak.

“Hi, Buzzard,” she greeted with a smile, her heart filling up with emotions she was starting to parse through and understand was excitement and happiness and the nerves of seeing a man she liked. Rowan let go of her with a laugh, but he didn’t go far. 

“Hey, Fireheart,” he greeted back, and she let out a laugh of relief. He was in front of her, and they were going to do this. 

At first it was a bit strange to be talking to each other in person, but eventually they fell into a familiar rhythm of teasing each other and talking about literally anything. Even as they got settled into their respective hotel rooms, they left the connecting door open to scream across as they unpacked. Eventually they made their way out of the hotel and started walking around. There were moments that she wished Rowan would just take a hold of her hand, but the more rational part of her brain knew that it would be weird. 

“So, this is weird, right?” she finally gave in and asked as they continued to dodge other tourists walking around the pathway as the sun was slowly setting, casting an orange glow over the buildings.

Rowan looked down at her with a smile. “Yeah, but it’s a good weird.”

“How is weird ever good?”

“I mean, you’re weird.”

“Excuse you,” she retorted in an offended tone and a hand on her heart. Rowan just laughed again, and Aelin couldn’t get over how rich it sounded in real life.

“I can’t get over how I can just reach over and touch you,” he explained, a genuine wonder in his expression as he poked her cheek gently with his index finger. 

Swatting his hand away, Aelin hummed in agreement. “I’m mad that you’re so much taller than me.”

“It’s amazing how you’re so small, honestly.”

“I’m tall for a woman my age!”

“Is five feet tall?”

“You’re an asshole. I’m five seven!”

“Yeah, tiny,” he retorted as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side to avoid a bike rider that she hadn’t seen until he was basically past them. “And blind, apparently.”

A meek, “Shut up,” was all that Aelin could manage after being pressed up against the hard muscles and ridges of his body. She didn’t immediately move away, but he also didn’t let go of her as they finally found a small cafe type restaurant without too many customers inside. 

Dinner was full of brushes of their hands as they passed dishes amongst each other, partially because it was accidentally, but also partially because Aelin still couldn’t believe he was in front of her. She had a sneaking suspicion that Rowen felt the same way because as soon as they stood up after he paid, he had laid a palm on the small of her back, and slowly, very slowly, the hand had moved to rest around her waist. There was a hesitation in his motion, as though he were waiting for her to move or to say something against it, but there was no part of Aelin that was against it. The lights of the night sky on the island, the fresh breeze, and the scent of the snow emanating from Rowan had her feeling the most calm and comfortable that she had in weeks. 

They didn’t feel the need to spend the walk back to the hotel by talking, and instead just basked in the others’ presence. The rest of the trip followed a pattern where they would talk when they had things to talk about but it wasn’t as though they were under an obligation to fill the silence. The new thing about the two of them, however, was the touching. It was normal for Aelin and Rowan to leave calls or video calls on when they ran out of things to talk about, just to have companionship, and obviously they couldn’t touch through a screen, but Aelin wasn’t expecting that she would constantly be looking for an excuse to touch him. Rowan never said, either. They walked arm in arm through the Oakwald Park, and the thought of the lingering touches to her bare waist as they went swimming through the waterfall still brought heat to her cheeks. 

When it came time for their Sunday night flights, Aelin didn’t want to go, but more importantly, she didn’t want to let Rowan go, either.

“I had a great time,” she said as they stood in front of a Starbucks in the airport. “I wish this weekend weren’t ending.”

Rowan raised his hands to cup her cheeks before softly rubbing circles with his thumbs. “Me neither,” he quietly said. 

“Is it bad to say that I’ve had more fun with you over the last two days than I have in a really, really long time?” 

“No,” he answered with a smile. “I did too. I also…don’t want to let you go. I want to keep you by my side.”

“Then don’t,” she responded with, as a last ditch effort. “I like you, Rowan. I really like you,” Aelin confessed. 

Her heart filled with hope as she took in his responding bright smile. He didn’t respond, though, with words. The pterodactyls were back as his lips brushed hers gently once, twice, before pulling back when they called boarding for his flight.”

“I’ll see you soon, Aelin. I promise.”

He smiled at her before kissing her forehead and squeezed her hand once before he walked away, taking a part of her heart with her. 

Until a minute later her phone pinged with a notification. Pulling it out, she let out a loud laugh as she looked at the email notification.

Congratulations, Mr. Whitethorn! We are happy to officially extend an offer for you to work in the Terrasen branch of our publishing house, starting in two weeks.

She didn't even finish reading the rest of the email before texting the man.

>> Rowan.

>> Rowan!

<< What?

She could practically hear the laughter in his voice. 

>> You couldn't have told me this sooner?!

<< It was too much fun seeing you upset over me.

>> Rude.

<< I'll see you soon, Fireheart. Have a safe flight.

Aelin snorted even as she tried to stop herself from bawling like a dumbass in the middle of a very public airport.

>>  You too, Buzzard.

Taglist: @thegreyj

[angelvyxen]

Do you believe the stuff with the igotnfts girl?

[Long post ahead + this will be a post & delete]

Let me preface this by saying, no hate to this girl. To me, she seems very young. More likely than not she’s some young fan girl that likes the attention.

Now, that girl is playing y’all like spades, and (some of) y’all are eating it this shit up. All of her posts proving that she’s the side chick, don’t prove anything.

1. The text messages are seedy for 2 reasons:

A. Melo types in all lowercase letters, apart from when he’s yelling. Look through his Instagram & Twitter, he has his phone set to disable uppercase because even his ‘i’’s don’t get corrected to capital I’s. So off rip, the texts don’t make sense because why would he specifically go out of his way to use proper capitalization when ‘speaking’ to her? Further than that, why would he send texts, especially informal ones, with proper capitalization when for years he’s only typed in all lowercase across all other platforms?

B. Everything is scratched out, potential dates included. If she wants recognition as the side chick so bad, why cross out things that could help you link yourself to him? If you’re in Charlotte, show that he texted you on dates where he was also in the city.

Also, I have a STRONG feeling those crossed out messages are her asking a friend to fake a text to her so she can screenshot it. It’s not hard to fake a text, hell you can even text YOURSELF and delete what you don’t need. That’s what I do when I need to make a text thread when writing a story. It’s not far fetched to ask someone “hey text me this real quick”

2. The infamous Twitter recognition doesn’t mean that he knows her. He said (I’m paraphrasing here because the tweet is since deleted) “You’re only following 6 people and I’m one of them, I thought we were supposed to be buddies.” He’s not confirming that he knows this girl in any way. If he had said ‘I thought we were supposed to be buddies’ and left it at that, then you can start to question, but the fact that he emphasized that he was one of the 6 people she followed should tell y’all enough to know he meant “You don’t like me but you’re watching my every move?” He just said it in a nice/goofy way. The only reason you all think it was in good faith is because he used laughing emojis.

If something along the lines of “I thought we were cool” was said, then that would confirm at the very least, that they’ve had some kind of conversation.

3. Her posting flowers doesn’t mean they’re from Melo. There was no card with a message that we could interpret to be him. Hell, those might not even be her flowers, for all we know they could be a picture of flowers she took at somebodies funeral and had saved up. Now, if Ana had posted the same flowers, then maybe, maybe you could speculate. But even then that’s not much to grasp onto because again, most flower bouquets aren’t hard to find. Unless it’s one of those extravagant ones.

4. Her posting a picture of the Charlotte, don’t mean she in Charlotte. And before you all say “But the reverse imagine search—” reverse image searches don’t find anything if you take a screenshot from someone else’s Snapchat or Instagram story, it’s not difficult to find Charlotte natives on IG and take a picture from their page or story and pass it off as your own…which is what I’m assuming she did.

I tested it out. I took a screenshot from someone else’s snap, slapped it in reverse image search and surprise, surprise,

Nothing 😱! And I did this with MULTIPLE.

Now even if that’s her picture and she is in Charlotte, from what I’ve gathered, she don’t know this man & she’s certainly not here for him. I believe she said that she was in the city (allegedly) anyways for her family members birthday, so if the pictures she posted are indeed hers, then that’s why she’s here.

Last things last, don’t believe anything until there is concrete proof. I could take a video in Melos garage this weekend, post it, and say some cryptic shit that’s more believable, and would be in the blogs by the next morning. So somebody posting a couple pictures don’t mean anything.

Unless somebody shows a video of them together, a FaceTime screenRECORDING, or a screenRECORDING of texts with a voice note from him, or some kind of solid evidence that it is him, then these folks are lying to y’all. Enjoy your weekend. 🫠

[achillieus]

let you down. (sebastian stan x reader)

summary: it's a universal truth but it's worth repeating; feelings eat us raw. or just an actor and a girl falling in and out of love over the course of three months.

(this was inspired by sebastian's visit to greece for his movie, monday, and is based on that, so that means in the story we’re in 2018. also i have this posted on ao3 too but while i’m writing the last parts i thought of posting it here too)

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

warnings: alcohol, sexual references, implied depression, don’t kill me because of the ending, sebastian and reader are the definition of right person wrong time, it's kinda slowburn because i love the yearning, also this part has some funny moments but overall it’s a big SOB

part: 6/6 (there will also be an epilogue)

(other parts)   (masterlist)

This is how it ends: broken hearts from crashed dreams.

Sebastian holds you until his muscles ache and your lungs burn from the feeling of too little oxygen. It is cold and dark, almost midnight, too dark, a starless night.

No more stars for you and I.

“Here,” Voice hoarse, eyes heavy-lid and itching from almost crying. He gives you one of the rings he wore in the movie. “I want you to keep this.”

Keep it close to your heart. Forget me not.

He takes a breath and a step back, tries to regain all the strength he still has, steady feet and shoulders fixed. He digs his nails into his palms, red marks in his skin, air catching in his throat, he’s on the verge of falling but he stays standing.

He remembers tears glistening down his cheeks, maybe they were yours not his, and the cold autumn wind hitting his face and he remembers feeling like he’s dying.

And then he closes the door of Argyris’ car and looks at you.

And his heart stretches and stretches and stretches and then somehow splits in half.

/

It goes like this:

There’s a ghost that lives in your apartment from now on. In the living room. Sitting on the couch. And it has steel blue eyes and a familiar heart. And it whispers a love story, half-finished, and you cannot make it stop.

The ghost touches your collarbone and he’s gone but there’s a ring in a golden chain around your neck and a white shirt forgotten in your laundry. And it smells like him. The clinging scent of his aftershave sticking to your pores. Eucalyptus. And no matter how hard you try to wash it off, it still lingers.

How could I ever forget someone like you?

The ghost lives here, but the place is empty, so empty. And it’s hard not to cry.

/

Sebastian calls and texts a lot.

He tells you he’s tired but excited because he started filming a new movie. It’s very indie and experimental, I can’t wait for you to see it. He tells you he’s missing his days in Greece like hell and that one night he dreamt of you. Didn’t want to wake up. What he doesn’t tell you is that he’s coming back in a month, Argyris needs him for some extra scenes. It’s nearly killing him but he doesn’t tell you. He wants to surprise you, see the pure light in your eyes when they’ll meet his.

/

You try sexting. It doesn’t go very well.

23:50, sebastian: if you were here in my bed right now what would you be doing

06:51, you: probably falling asleep hahaha

06:51, you: oh fuck was i supposed to sext back

06:51, you: sorry seb i just woke up and i have a class in an hour, love you <3

23:52, sebastian: fuck timezones

/

(three weeks and 10 seconds later)

“I can’t believe she doesn’t know you’re here,” Argyris shakes his head as he’s driving home from the airport, “If I were her, I’d kill you.”

“Good thing I didn’t fall in love with you.”

Sebastian laughs and looks out of the car window. The stars. There are so many stars tonight. He holds his breath; he’s finally feeling whole again. His heart isn’t split in two anymore.

/

You don’t know how long you stand there at your door, staring at him, but it feels like a century before he grins, almost laughs, takes your hands in his and you start considering that perhaps this isn’t a hallucination. Perhaps it’s real.

“Surprise?”

Something inside of you bursts, your organs twitch. You can’t think, you can’t speak, but you can move. You don’t lose any more time, you take a step forward, attach your bodies, your face buried in his neck, your fingers clutching into the rough fabric of his jacket. You breathe him in like an antidote.

“How?”

“Does it matter?”

“No.”

You kiss him and it’s like poetry, like art, like honey and you can’t separate yourself from him, not even hours later.

/

(looking back, these were the golden days)

You pretending to be mad at him for not telling you he was coming back and him pressing his lips on your skin, drawing patterns on your naked shoulder. A feathery touch.

Sebastian always touches you like you’re something made of gold and porcelain, something cherished that constantly needs to be treasured. And nobody has done that before. And you love him for it.

You try to decorate your Christmas tree together. He messes with the lights for a while, eventually gives up and goes on to eat too many reindeer shaped cookies.

He massages your muscles when you write a boring essay for college.

You go with him when he has to shoot a “driving a motorcycle naked in the centre of Athens” scene and you bite the inside of your cheeks to stop smiling like an idiot.

He gives you a dress he bought for you in New York.  

“You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

He calls you sweetheart in the mornings, still half asleep and later joins you in the shower.

“Why are you so hot?”

“Climate change”

“Oh, shut up”

It’s tender and it’s soft and it’s human.

And that’s the saddest part.

/

Soon you realize that him leaving two months ago was merely a rehearsal and you still haven’t said your actual goodbyes. Your chest starts to feel as if it’s full of crushed glass.

And it’s ridiculous because you fell in love with Sebastian sometime between the first ten days you spent together.

Who falls in love in ten days?  

Ridiculous or not, you know you are in love with him just as you know that sooner or later, whatever he is feeling will fade and wither. Maybe it’ll be in a week, maybe it’ll be in a month, maybe in a year if you’re lucky. But there will definitely come a day when he will step out of a gala or a party or a fancy gym in New York with a beautiful model in his arms and two paparazzi’s following him around.

What will you be then?

A past small cameo in his life. A side character. Will he remember your name?

He is your whole world.

(a bottle of cheap prosecco helps you decide that)

He is your whole world.

And yet, there will come a day when he won’t even remember your name.

/

It was difficult. No, it was the most difficult thing you’ve ever done. Telling him how you think it’d be better if you didn’t talk after he leaves.

“I don’t agree with this.”

“Seb, it’s for the best.”

Your body doesn’t feel strong enough to carry your heart. And you’re certain it will only get worse once he’s away. The world around you will melt. You’ll obsess over a phone screen and his messages. You’ll start chasing ghosts again. You can’t handle that.

“Why?” He says urgently and his fingers dance over the flesh of your palms.

“Because this”, you motion your hand between the two of you, “is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had in my life and I don’t want it to become ugly.”

He nods, he understands.

“I love you, you know,” he says smiling and tugs you closer to him, “And I may not be here to show you but I think I’ll love you for a long time.”

Your hand grips his waist right to the bones and something flares in your eyes, something wild that wrenches you around.

“I know, I’ll love you the same.”

“Maybe we’ll meet again.”

“Only if I’m the luckiest girl on the planet.”

He laughs and you look at him, fully aware he’ll be ripped out of your life like a page from a cheap leather notebook. And when you kiss for the last time, there’s a hole forming in your soul.

And just because endings don’t leave visible scars to one’s body and soul, that doesn’t mean the scars don’t exist. You know they do, because you feel the aching pain of every single one of them.

/

(every night when you close your eyes you see him)

(every night you look at the stars and think of him)

/

A month passes and Argyris asks you if you miss him.

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“He said the exact same thing.”

You tell him not to mention Sebastian again.

Two months pass and you need to stop stalking his instagram profile.

Three months pass and you almost text him.

Four months pass and you go to watch Endgame with some friends and you cry. You cry when Black Widow sacrifices herself and when Iron Man smiles at his wife while dying, and when Bucky Barnes appears on screen.

The others don’t understand and you don’t blame them.

Five months pass and Argyris’ girlfriend wants you to meet someone. A charming boy your age with blonde hair and a lip piercing.

And he's cute but you compare him to Sebastian even before he has the chance to say his name. His eyes are not the right shade of blue and he doesn’t look at you like you’re made of the world’s finest jewel.

And he doesn’t know any constellation names.

And then more than a year passes in a second and you learn to not look for him. Not anymore.

/

It’s early March 2020 and despite the rising fear of the upcoming pandemic, you’re doing well. Scars are starting to fade. And after spending two weeks in Prague, your best friend being there with an exchange program, Sebastian Stan is the farthest thing from your mind.

Until he literally comes crashing into you. At the airport.

No, it can’t be him.

You have your suitcase on one hand and a bottle of antiseptic gel on the other. He has two bodyguards on his sides and a black hoodie on.  And while half of his face is hidden behind a mask, you can see his eyes perfectly. A frozen lake in December. You would know those eyes in your deathbed, at the end of the world.

Your vision gets blurry and suddenly you feel cold.

He won’t recognize me, he can’t.

But then he looks at you and every memory you had buried inside of you resurfaces.

He motions to his guards to wait for him and he starts walking towards you. You breathe slowly, one breath at a time. He takes his mask off and you hesitate to take yours, not sure if you truly want him to see you.

You exchange the typical and very awkward hi, how are you, i’m glad you’re doing okay and then he smiles and it feels comfortable. Familiar.

It’s the whiff of another time that you always kept around. A reminder that you were once loved by a god.

“What are you doing here?”

“Filming Falcon and the Winter Soldier”

If you hadn’t unfollowed him on instagram, you’d known.

“Ah yes I heard about that, congrats.”

He nods a thank you.

“And you? In Prague?”

“I was at a friend.”

He looks conflicted, hurt, turns his gaze to his shoes on the grey cement. You want to say something, but you feel like throwing up.

And then he laughs.

“I was right.”

You’re confused, he notices.

“Back in Greece,” he swallows, “I told you this would happen.”

“It would have been an airport, different gates for each of us, but same waiting hall. Or a Greek island, where we’d both be for the summer.”

“I would have found you.”

You remember and you cannot help but smile. He was right. He found you.

“I didn’t believe you then.”

I barely believe you now.

He touches your hair. And his touch is like a knife. And you want to cry. Magnolias under your tongue. A love long lost is whispering in your ears until it hurts to listen. He’s like a magnetic field and you feel yourself drowning in him.

“I bet they’ll ask me a hundred questions about you later.” He says and looks at the two men waiting for him.

“And what will you tell them?”

“That you’re most probably the love of my life.”

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

“There’s no way we’d meet here if you’re not.”

“Sebastian,” His name sounds like a prayer coming out of your lips and you're ready to tell him you love him and you can swear he looks like he’s ready to faint, “I-”

The guards yell his name. And it's the same feeling people have just before a car crash.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.���

One last look.

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

You repeat it over and over again. But you fail.

“No, don't cry” He smiles, one last smile, “Just look at the stars and wait for us to meet again, because we will.”

He caresses the back of your palm for a second and you think your ribcage is shattering but it’s only your heart drumming frantically. Pushing your fragile bones to break. 

You want to stop him, wrap your arms around his torso, never let him go. Not again. But you don’t.

You just watch him leave, one more time, your knees weak, your head heavy and dizzy. For the split of a moment he turns and glances at you but then he’s nowhere to be seen.

Perhaps it was all in your imagination. Perhaps it was nothing but a wonder.

You get into your plane and you silently sob.

/

And then it’s summer.

And you overhear he was seen with a girl, the day before your vacation starts and you find a picture of them together a week later, a pretty blonde girl clinging to his side with a colorful bikini somewhere in Spain. And he’s smiling. And you feel so ashamed. And so stupid.

They say time heals all wounds but they must be wrong because you can’t forget how he used to smile at you or how he used to call you the love of his life.

Was he joking when he said you'll meet again? You bet if you asked him now, he wouldn't even remember saying it.

I’ll love you for a long time.

So long for nothing.

/

i really appreciate feedback, it motivates me tons and also tell me if you’d like to be tagged :) also i’m really sorry if you asked me to tag you and i didn’t  but i lost a lot of asks and the urls of the people that sent them :( 

tagging: @lharrietg @awkward117 @dannaloureen @broccoligf @cutestfangirlvevo @caitdaniels @arymb @buckybarnesishot310 @roguesthetic @itsaliceheree @sara-1705 @dorothea-hwldr @freshfreakoaftrash @drinkfantasy @christinamcdonnell ​@partypoison00 ​ @90ssantiago

[struggling-with-time]

Lost connection [Corpse x reader]

Paring: Corpse husband x Gender neutral!reader

Summary: “Can you please write a story where the reader (female) isn't a youtuber or playing Among us with the crew? Preferably, angst and maybe unrequited love and meeting him through social media as a fan. The last sentence is not a requirement, I just wanna read a story where the reader isn't a successful youtuber or a youtuber at all. Just a normal person who doesn't have many talents.” Requested by anon

“Hi! If you feel like it, maybe a corpse x reader where he posts one of their tiktoks on his Instagram story and they start talking and falling for each other? <3” requested by anon

Warnings: idk sad ending?

Read part two here

A/N: Y/T = Your TikTok Coping with election stress by writing, and I still don’t even live in the US. I’m sorry only one for today <3 you got a hc too!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

You had recently started making tiktoks, it was mostly closet cosplay to song you saw fitting to the character. It helped you escape the stress of everyday life. You liked the small following you usually got around 200 to 300 views, usually. That was until Corpse Husband himself had gotten in contact with you to ask permission to share a video of you dancing around a chair to his song Cat Girls are ruining my life. Of course, you said yes.

Leading to your video trending and you gaining a bit more followers before everything went back to normal. However, what didn’t go back to normal after a couple of days was the fact that you’re still talking to Corpse. You don’t really understand how this is still going on. You’ve been following him for quite a while now. This is big.

Corpse_Husband: I was thinking I could get your number, it’s easier than writing over here.

Y/T: Sure, here it is xxx-xxx-xxx

You pull your phone away from your face. Did you sound too desperate? A bit maybe? No? Maybe? Just a tid bit…

Unknown number: Well hello there, Y/T

You: New phone, who dis?

Too much? Oh god what if he doesn’t think it’s funny, or thinks you’re being serious. You stare intensely at the three dots; they disappear and your heart sinks for second before a message pops up.

Corpse: I wonder who

You: Welp, better go contact my fbi agent then.

Is that an outdated joke? You honestly weren’t too sure.

Corpse: It’s Corpse

Y/N: Ah! Never would have guessed, btw how was your day?

It didn’t take long before the two of you texted every day. It took two months before Corpse asked if he could call you. It awkward in the beginning.

“Soooooo…” You said trying to fill the silence.

“Yeah…” And so did he.

But the two of you slowly became comfortable with speaking and started calling every night before you would go to bed, which correlated to around an hour before his streams started. It was a beautiful friendship that was slowly blossoming into more. You could feel yourself falling harder as each day passed, as each time you listened to him talk. Even if it was just a silent phone call so the two of you could be together.

“You won’t believe what happened today!” Corpse had practically yelled through the phone at you, sounding somehow like the most deep voiced teenage girl out there.

“Go on tell me!” You matched his excitement. Ready to lend an ear until you wouldn’t be able to hold your eyes open anymore.

The big elephant in the room, only felt to grow the more you talked. You lived halfway across to world in the Netherlands, while he was in San Diego. You knew not to get your hopes up of him ever coming there. So instead you got a second job besides your studies and the first job. Meaning you spent less time talking to him, but it would be worth it you told yourself. It took you 4 months of barely speaking for you to have saved up for the ticket if you stayed at his place for the two days.

You were ready to tell him that, you had quit the second job earlier that day. You were excited. But when you called, it rang out. He’s probably just busy, you told yourself.

It rang out, the next day.

And the day after.

And the day after…

“You can no longer reach this number.” The telephone spoke at you, you stared at it in disbelief. You did the only thing you could think about and opened twitter for the first time in months. Straight on his page last tweet 12 days old. The last time you spoke together.

Corpse_Husband: Final Goodbyes hurt :(

You fall back on your bed your phone forgotten in your hand. You neglected him to be able to earn enough money to see him, driving him away in the effort. You’re bewildered at what to do, you just lost the only person you were able to connect with on a personal level.

You had lost your friend.

[sailorhyunjinz]

~ 𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 ~

Part I

© sailorhyunjinz 2021; Rights Reserved

All picture rights to their respective owners.

ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥: Photographer!hyunjin, fem!model!reader, manager!Bangchan, stylist!Jisung, agedup!straykids, SMUT IN LATER PARTS, fluff, character driven story, strangers to lovers, summer au, mentions of insecurity, love at first sight.

𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 ℂ𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 3,5 k  

ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖: I have never written a series before so please understand if it’s lacking heh... and yes the title does relate to the kooks song with the same title so do give it a listen because it’s really good and fits the story c: 

also this starts slowly LMAO MORE FUN THINGS ARE COMING UP I SWEAR <33

If you have any feedback I’m more than happy to receive it! <3

Taking pictures of you - MASTERLIST

ONE｜TWO｜THREE

Working as a model was not easy. The complaining managers and the expectations by others was too much to handle. Heck, even getting to the shooting locations was a hastle most of the time. 

You tilted your head against the window in the backseat of the taxi. It was a calm august wednesday. The late summer breeze made it’s way into the cab thorugh the window that was opened on the drivers side. Your phone screen lit up, multiple notification from Instagram. 

“omg! slay bbygrl”

“her face is crazy pretty”

“beautiful”

You’ve heard these words too many times. If you’re told the same thing over and over again they eventually mean nothing. You scrolled through the other comments on your latest instagram post, a photo from your last photoshoot. A picture of you lying in a bed of white flowers, your skin glowing and your body covered by a white sheer dress that accentuated your neck. It’s not a bad photo but was I really worth the attention? “There are a thousands of other girls way prettier than me.” you though and with a sulken expression you watched life run by outside the window. 

15 minutes later you arrived at your agency. You smiled your model smile at the taxi driver to which he smiled back and responded: “My pleasure, miss y/n”.

A big shadow was cast from the building in which the modeling agency was. The beige renaissance building was surrounded by green bushes and a black fence. The big oak entryway had golden lion knockers and an ingraved golden sign. “Eccellente Modeling Agency” it said with bold black letters, contrasting nicely with the gold plate. You rang the doorbell next to the sign and in a matter of seconds the oak gates opened with a loud creak.

“Y/n!! You look stunning as always!” said your manager Bangchan as he hugged you. The smell of his aftershave violated your olfactory sense as usual, making you scrunch your nose. He was always dressed business casual, his white polo shirt and light brown dress pants being a good example but today his poloshirt had a great amount of buttons unbuttoned. 

The both of you made your way into his office. A room with a high ceiling and a chandelier worth more than your career. You sat down in the leather couch across the desk, Bangchan sitting on the other side of it. 

“Give me a moment.... Just pulling up some files for the new photoshoot I’ve planned! I promise, you’re not gonna be disappointed.” he says smiling, the desktop screen reflecting in his brown eyes.

He turns his computer screen towards you. Your eyes scan the pictures that pop up. 

“May I present to you the profile of Hwang Hyunjin. One of the most renowned photographers of this age”. Bangchan looks at you, reading your expression. 

The pictures are truly beautiful. Everything, from the outfits to the lightning was perfect.

“Bangchan, you’re insane” you say, smiling widely as you made eye contact with the dark haired manager. “These pictures are so stunning!” you squeal. “How did you even get in contact with him?”

“Nothing for you to worry about y/n, I have my contacts. I’m a manager after all”. He scoffs whilst scrolling through the profile. The next picture getting better than the previous one.

“So... when is the shoot and what concept have you planned?” you say whilst your eyes are glued to the computer screen. 

“Mr, Hwang works for a multitude of companies but Styliz needed a model for their new pastel collection which I immedietly snatched onto. We all know how beautiful you look in pastels y/n” he said attentively to which you smiled, adoring the interest he has for his work. 

“Oh.. I also cheked your schedule and you seem free tomorrow so how about then?” he added. 

“Yes! I’d love too” you said with a small nod.

“Not that you have much choice, Mr Hwang’s time is worth gold y/n” he laughed and reached for something in his cabinet drawers.

“Here, take this” he said while sliding over a light grey business card.

‘Hwang Hyunjin, Photographer’ was written in dark grey letters. A black border decorating the edges of the card.

♡

The morning sun shined thorugh the curtains blinding you temporarily. You felt after your phone on the nightstand with you hand, your eyes still closed. ‘8:05 am’ the screen showed against the background picture of your family.

You missed them, moving to a different city across the country at the young age of 18 was scary. You’ve aged, that’s for sure but you still missed them dearly. Dragging your lifeless body to the shower you hope for a day with happiness whilst the warm water hits your bare skin. It was a big day after all. A photoshoot with photographer Hwang Hyunjin. “Me... on Hyunjins work? It must be a dream...” you thought, grabbing the towel hanging on the cold, silver rack.

You dryed off your thick hair with a light pink towel with one hand whilst the other hand held your phone. “I have to look at his photos again” you thought, tapping on the Instagram icon and typing “Hwang Hyunjin” in the search bar, hoping and praying that his work was published on the social media platform.

“@ photographerHwang” was the first result to pop up and you tapped it instantly being just as surprised as you were yesterday of the beauty that his photos carried. Bumping into the table on your way to the kitchen you noticed a different photo on his feed. It didn’t look like any of the other photos because it was a selfie. You dropped your towel on the floor. No... it can’t be him... or could it?

His face looked like a work of art. Not only was the photo nicely edited with warm light emitting from your screen but the person was even more eyecatching. “It’s probably one of his models” you though as you placed your phone on the kitchen counter and grabbed a carton of milk from the fridge.

But what if it’s really him?

♡

You threw on a grey hoodie and biker shorts before you flew out to the taxi waiting for you outside the apartment. 

“Sorry for keeping you waiting sir! Here!” you said while panting, quickly pulling up a text message you got from Bangchan sharing the location of the photoshoot. 

“Please, Miss y/n! No need to apologize” laughed the middle aged taxi driver softly. You were now on your way to the shoot. 

Your brain was scattered. One part of you hoped that Mr Hwang really was the boy you saw on his instagram. His long, blond locks slightly covering his sharp jaw. His skin clear as day and rosy lips plump like two rose petals. The other part shut everything down, convinced that it’s one of his models that happened to be to your liking. 

You opened his instagram page again. 

“He must be famous for his perfect features...” you said under your breath, staring at his lips.

The whole taxi ride was filled with thoughts of him, whoever he was. 

“Soon there miss y/n” the taxi driver said after 10 minutes of driving. The taxi slowed down and looking outside the window you saw Bangchan standing infront of a building that looked similar to the agency building. You waved slightly and he waved back at you.

You turned around to the driver and said; “Thank you so much sir”, giving him a generous tip and exiting the vehicle. A warm breeze latches on to you, making your hair flutter in the motions of the wind.

“Y/n! Perfectly on time” Bangchan said and hugged you.

You hugged him back, asking him about his day so far to which he responded;

“Good but going to be even better after this legendary photoshoot is done and we have the most perfect photos taken by the most influential photographer!” he sounded like a little child in a candy shop.

Your ears heated up due to his words and you smiled slightly.

“Let’s go to the second floor and get your outfit and makeup ready. A introduction with Styliz manager won’t be needed since he already knows your delightful personality” he laughed at his corny remarks and you did the same.

“You seem even more excited than me” you remarked, pressing the elevator button.

“When you see the end result you will be floored” Bangchan said and winked at you. 

The elevator clanged. “Second floor”. The metal doors slided open. The eyes of a dozen stylists and makeup artists caught onto you. A slightly potbellied man in a navy colored suit approached you.

“Y/n! I’m so happy to see work with you again.” His voice was hoarse due to his age but his personality being the total opposite. You knew him well since Styliz’s chief was one of the first to offer you a modeling job in a foreign city, you only being a teenager with a big dreams at the time.

“Mr. Styliz! It’s lovely to meet you again” you smiled and sat down in a makeup chair, a girl with blond hair and big hoop earrings starting to brush powder across your nose. You saw Bangchans figure leave behind a door in the reflection of the mirror. 

“Mr. Styliz, might I ask you a question?” You regretted the words as soon as the came out of your mouth. You didn’t need more information about the mysterious boy you saw on Hwang’s instagram page but you simply had to know who is was. 

“Well of course y/n” said Mr. Styliz, his warm breath touched your cheek as he stood right by your side, smelling of morning coffee and looking at you through the mirror. 

“Could I please get more information about Mr.Hwang?” you said, making eye contact with the old man. 

“y/n, you’ll meet him soon! Then you can ask him how much you would like about his life but I must warn you... He is quite the secretive type”. The coffee breath was accentuated as he laughed.

You tried to play along, laughing a fake laugh as the hair designer started to brush out your locks. A wave of embarrassment washed through you. 

The lights of the makeup mirror were getting hot, tiny sweat drops beading on your forehead which the makeup artist wiped off. 

“We are done, Miss y/n” said the makeup artist, her earrings reflecting the light in the studio. You thanked her and saw Bangchan standing at the door where the cameras were. 

“y/n, not much time left. Please go down the hallway and into the second door on your left, the stylist is in there fixing your outfit”. One reason as to why you loved Bangchan as your manager was his calm temper. Even in a time crunch, he always made sure to talk to you in a serene tone. After years in the modeling industry you still couldn’t get used to the ill-tempered staff. Too many times you had been forcefully dragged down corridors and streets whilst they muttered swear words at you. Even thinking about it sends shivers down your spine. 

Your shoes tapped the white linoleum as you made your way down the narrow hallway, knocking on the second door to your left just as Bangchan said. 

A familiar voice said; “Come in!” to which you turned the golden doorknob on  the white wooden door. The tall figure was rummaging in a big plastic container filled with clothes but upon your arrival the figure greeted you with warm eyes. 

“No way!! It’s y/n!” screeched Jisung. He pulled you in to a hug, his belt buckle hit your stomach through the grey hoodie. 

Jisung was a stylist and worked closely with Mr. Styliz therefore you’d gotten close to him. Not only did you like him for his exquisite fashion sense which had a whole different concept each time you saw him but also for his friendliness, always being polite. 

“I’ve missed you so much Jisungie” you said with a pout. 

“I though it was onesided but I guess not haha”

“Don’t be silly! How could I not miss that smile of your Sungie?” you hit him playfully on the arm to which he blushed. 

“Go behind that  and I’ll throw some clothes for you.” he pointed at the wooden divider standing in the corner of the white room filled with clothes racks and colorful clothing. 

You started undressing behind the divider and suddenly a pile of clothing was thrown on your head over the divider. You heard Jisung snicker at the yelp that came out of your mouth as you drowned in the clothes

“Jisung, you are so dead when I’m done” you said whilst putting on the last details to the outfit.

“I’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry” he said pleadingly while laughing hysterically. 

You stood on the podium infront of the full lenght mirrors in the room as Jisung observed you and pinned the clothes slightly. 

“Not gonna lie, it’s looks really good on you. The pastels matches perfectly with your skintone.” Jisung looked on the pleaded white skirt you had on. 

You looked in the mirror and shook your head in agreement. The pastel purple sweater with the white collar poking out made you look youthful and innocent. You had on patent mary jane shoes in the same purple color as your sweater. The white kneesocks were slipping down as you moved slightly, almost looking like a school girl as you bend down to lift the socks up. 

“Do you like it?” Jisung looked at you through the reflection on the mirror, standing on the floor making him a head shorter than you. 

“Yea! You’ve never given me a bad outfit Sungie, they’re always adorable. My favorite stylist but don’t tell that to Bangchan” you smirked to which Jisung laughed.

♡

“y/n, Jisung did a great job! You fit the concept to a tee” Bangchan stood infront of two wide dark green doors which led to the photostudio. He smiled shyly and pushed the doors open, a bright white light blinding you as you stepped in.

You squinted and held your hand infront of your eyes as you entered the studio, the air stuffy from all the white boxlights that have been working for a while.

“Miss y/n is here now, Mr. Hwang” Bangchan announced.

Your eyes felt blurry and the lights created a bokeh effect, your vision feeling like a filter. The first thing you saw was him. Hwang Hyunjin.

The shock froze your feet in one position. It was him. The selfie was Hyunjin. And he was hotter in real life.

A tall, slender figure stood on one foot, the other one behind his leg with the tip of the shoe pointing towards the floor. 

“Are you ready, miss y/l/n?”.

His voice was sweeter than honeysuckle, you melted upon hearing him speak. Bangchan looked at you confused when you didn’t move, just observing the presence of the blonde boy infront of you. 

“y/n?” Bangchan had a worried expression on his face as your face broke out in a massive blush. 

“yeah..uh-mm..yes” you only managed to get that out before you were infront of the camera. 

His willowy fingers wrapped around the black Canon camera, it fit perfectly in his hands as if it was made for him. You gulped upon seeing the veins that ran up his exposed arms, the white shirt bunched up by his elbows. 

“Everything good miss? You seem distant” he said in that raspy but sweet voice. 

“Uhm...yeah totally..” you looked awkward with your hands by your side as you saw Bangchan observing you with a confused gaze. 

“Please tilt your head to the right and stand broad with your feet” Hyunjin commanded to which you complied. The flash of the big studio lights didn’t effect you as much anymore since you were used to this but what did effect you was how concentrated Hyunjin looked. Like a true photographer. It was obvious that he enjoyed his job by the way his eyes shined when he looked at the monitor and corrected every detail. Luckily you could stare at his figure all that you wanted since it looked like you were keeping eye contact with the camera and not him. Glancing over to the left of the photographer you saw Bangchan smiling his bright smile, signaling that he’s proud over you. 

Flash

Flash

And another flash before Hyunjin looked at the monitor displaying the photos he just took, a smirk crept onto his face. 

“Good job y/l/n. Could you please grab that chair over there and sit on the edge of it?” he said whilst pointing towards a small wooden stool. Reacting instantly to his soft voice and gestures you pulled the stool towards the x on the ground, making sure you were in frame. 

“One leg over the other” Hyunjin said without even looking towards you, his pale veiny hands were now twisting and turning some buttons on both the camera and monitor. You shook your head up and down slightly in agreement before doing as told and as Hyunjin turned back his chocolatey brown eyes landed on yours. Now it was impossible to hide your burning cheeks, Hyunjin noticed since he laughed stiffly before grabbing the camera off the camera stand and going down on one knee to capture an angle from below. Numerous amounts of sparks from the big box lights were emitted and after every spark Hyunjin turned around to the screen which displayed your figure. Staring at him you smiled slowly, feeling your heart beat faster. Why do I feel like this by just looking at him? Your head was clouded with millions of other thoughts. Just as you started tuning out the room Hyunjin clapped his hands hard, the sound ringing in your ears. You jumped slightly which made Bangchan laugh.

“All done! Nice work everybody” Hyunjin announced loudly before bowing down to the other staff members in the room and to you as well. You returned his gesture by a slight bow of the head and quickly scurried of to Bangchan, your face hot.

“Are you sure you’re not ill?” Bangchan said softly before putting the back of his hand towards your forehead. Shaking your head from side to side you pushed his hand away. 

“No, I’m fine... just so hot with the box lights you know?” you laughed fumblingly, not knowing where to rest your gaze. 

You felt someone tap you on your left shoulder and you almost fainted when you turned around. Hyunjin was standing three footsteps from you, the scent of his cologne making you swoon. He smiled as he saw your shy expression and sparkling eyes.

“I though that it must have been hot, here have this”

He casually held out a waterbottle which you received with both hands as a gesture of thankfulness. 

“y/n, I’m just gonna head off to Jisung to discuss something. Meet me at the changing rooms in about 10, ok?” Bangchan said, slightly leaning towards your ear. 

“Yeah, see you in 10!” you said while the managers back disappeared through the broad doors of the studio. Turning back to Hyunjin his blond locks were draped infront of his eyes and as he spoke he tucked those light pieces behind his ear, revealing his small silver hoop earrings.

“I’m gonna pack up the cords now but it was a pleasure to work with you, miss y/l/n” 

The corners of your mouth went upwards at his formality.

“Please, call me y/n” you said quietly, being too shy to look him in the eyes.

“Sure, see you around y/n” Hyunjin said as he lifted up his hand to shake yours. His lanky fingers were filled with bold rings, many of which were designer. A slight panic rushed through your mind as you didn’t want to scare him away with your clammy hands. The sweaty hands and the churning of your stomach was all due to Hyunjin nearness. Hesitantly you streched the tips of your fingers against the blond haired boy and his hand emitted warmth when being met with your fingertips. He smiled before turning back, his eyes forming into half moons as charming dimples errupted on his lean cheeks.

You bowed to the other staff members on your way out of the building on your way to meet Bangchan and Jisung in the changing room. The waterbottle in your hand almost slipped as you took another clunck of the fresh water and that’s when you noticed something. Stopping in the hallway where the stylists room was located you inspected the waterbottle and saw a black marker scribble on the wrapper around the bottle. Upon removing it your heart stopped. Your knees could give up at any moment from the sheer shock. Am I losing my mind? A number was loosely doodled on the white plastic wrapper and underneath it there was a message. 

Call me 

// Hyunjin

𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

@vogueinnie @that-anxious-bisexual @putmetogetheragain13 @hyunsluvv @lawleighette @meow-minho @minaamhh @ohmysparkle @hwangi @rindomo​ @fleeingreality @nycol-ie @jisungsplatforms