#(I’m not gonna lie to yall I fully thought I was gonna get laid or at least make out with someone this weekend but I didnt so that’s an L)

[rainbowpotatocakes21]

if these girls don’t stop soon I will be kissing them

[theimmaterialplace]

i’ll give you all you want if you just ask | spencer reid x f!reader | ch. 1 of 2: all i need

Summary: It doesn’t take a profiler to notice that Spencer Reid is nervous around you. Half of the team finds it funny and the other half just ignores it. What you don’t know is why. Well, you have an idea but you’d rather not be wrong in your deduction and make a fool of yourself and make him just avoid you completely.

See, it’s not that you just make him nervous, it’s that you make him excited. He perks up every time you enter a room and shoots you a shy smile, never making eye contact. He shivers any time you accidentally, or purposefully because you can’t help yourself, brush against him. He follows your lead eagerly and without complaint, able to connect the pieces you’ve put together. Perhaps the most damning piece of evidence is the way he reacts to your praise.

Oh, how his reactions always excite you.  

Contains: hints of light dom/sub undertones, teasing, praise kink. no actual smut yet, just a bit of kissing and allusions to sex. enabler!hotch. 

Word Count: 1.7k

Comments: hello im back this very self indulgent fic! i just love sub!spencer to pieces and there aren't enough fics with him featuring that so i'm here to remedy that! also just assume rossi had a date or something and couldn't make it! i'd say this takes place before a bit before the reaper arc! also i fucking adore hotch and HAD to make him an enabler because he just wants his team to be happy!! he cares for them!! if you’d rather read this on ao3, here’s the link! finally, leave a comment/review so ik how yall feel! reblogs are also highly appreciated! :)

It doesn’t take a profiler to notice that Spencer Reid is nervous around you. Half of the team finds it funny and the other half just ignores it. What you don’t know is why . Well, you have an idea but you’d rather not be wrong in your deduction and make a fool of yourself and make him just avoid you completely.

See, it’s not that you just make him nervous, it’s that you make him excited . He perks up every time you enter a room and shoots you a shy smile, never making eye contact. He shivers any time you accidentally, or purposefully because you can’t help yourself, brush against him. He follows your lead eagerly and without complaint, able to connect the pieces you’ve put together. Perhaps the most damning piece of evidence is the way he reacts to your praise.

Oh, how his reactions always excite you.  

You’d conducted an experiment over the past few months. At first, you had given him compliments such as “I like your outfit today” or “good work on today’s case”, harmless things. He had reacted as well as you expected, blushing the tiniest bit and muttering a thank you in response.

Next, you decided to take a page out of Morgan’s book and call him pretty boy which eventually turned into a whole slew of nicknames revolving around praising him. The first time you had called him pretty boy, he had burned his mouth because he gulped his coffee too quickly. His face was a bright red and he was incapable of meeting your eyes for the rest of the day. As it was, that was a great reaction but your favorite had to be the time you called him a good boy. He had looked up at you with wide eyes and his pupils had dilated so much that you barely saw his original eye color. Now that should’ve been enough to confirm your beliefs but you decided to take it a step farther.

The most recent trial had you calling him your boy, a possessive indicator. There was no hiding your intentions with this one so you made sure to only call him that in private; no need for the team to know. It seemed like no matter how many times you called him yours, one way or another, it still had the same effect on him.

With this information, you had no doubt that Spencer was interested in you and seemed to lean on the sub side of things. It was cute. He was cute. He was just your type in men. You loved nothing more than a man who was intellectual and would let you take control, which you had no doubt Spencer would allow.

It’s on a Saturday night when everyone decides to get drinks, a rare occasion, that you decide to make a move. Well, you’re actually encouraged to by someone you would least expect.

“So, when do you plan on making a move on Spencer?” It takes everything in you not to choke on the fruity drink you were sipping on when Hotch speaks up. You turn your head to look at him and find him staring at you with a smug, knowing look on his face.

“I’d say I have no idea what you’re talking about, but that’d be a lie and also an insult to you.” A small grin creeps onto his face with your response. It’s nice to see him so relaxed because god only knows how much your boss deserves to let loose every once in a while.

“Hm, you’re avoiding the question. Don’t tell me that all those pet names and touches were for nothing.” It’s a good thing you’re lightly buzzed because otherwise you’d feel completely mortified over the revelation that your boss had picked up on your actions. As you are now though, you can only let out a laugh and smile sharply at his remark.

“Course not, Hotch. As for an answer to your question,” you pause and look across the bar to where he’s laughing at something Penelope said, “I think it won’t be too long now. He’s just so… receptive .” He only hums, taking another sip of what you think is whiskey.

“Well don’t take too long.” And perhaps it’s his encouragement or just the liquid courage but you decide that now is a good time to get your boy. You excuse yourself quietly and give Hotch a small wave which he returns with a small smirk on his face.

When you finally reach Spencer, it’s to him saying goodbye to the rest of the team.

“Come on, stay for a bit longer. We’ll have a fun time. We always do.” Derek might be able to convince him if he keeps going on like this so you decide to interrupt.

“Hey, guys!” Everyone turns to look at you and they all clammer to ask you how you’ve been, giving Spencer the out he needed.

“So, what were you talking about with the boss man? I saw some very interesting expressions over there, babe.” Penelope has a sly grin on her face as the rest of the team “oohs” at her statement.

“Oh, just a little bit of this, little bit of that. Don’t tell me you thought I was flirting with him…” at this, their shoulders drop a little, “Oh my god, come on, you guys! As if I’d flirt with Hotch. You guys though…. You’re all free real estate.” You wink at them in good fun.

“You’re almost as bad as Derek with your flirting, you know that?” Emily takes a sip of her drink and JJ nods, agreeing with her completely.

“Now, there’s no need to insult me like that, ladies. At least I take my flirting seriously. When was the last time you even got laid?” You can feel Spencer’s eyes on you so you decide not to answer.

“I plead the fifth!” This gets you a round of laughs and you decide now is a good time to tell them you’re leaving and start your plan.

“Well, I’m glad everyone is having a good time but I really gotta go,” this earns you a round of “boos”, “I know. I know. Sure it may be old lady behavior but I have plans tomorrow morning. You guys have fun for me though!”

JJ speaks up, “Oh, since you’re leaving right now, would you mind taking Spencer home? I was going to give him a ride since the metro is closed tonight but you’re already leaving so I figured why not?” You only nod while internally you can’t help but think this is going even more perfectly than you originally thought.

You look over to Spencer who’s already looking at you. “You okay with that, pretty boy?” He nods and even with the lighting of the club, you can recognize his cheeks flushing.

You turn back to the rest of them to address them,“Well, goodnight guys! Be safe and I’ll see you Monday if everything goes well! Love you!”

After receiving the mandatory goodbye hugs and kisses, you grab Spencer’s hand and lead him out of the club. It’s a good thing you parked far away because now you have time to set the mood.

“How many drinks have you had tonight? You look moderately red, Spence.” It’s a good starter because you need to know he’s not drunk and that this is fully consensual but also to call him out on his blushing.

“I didn’t drink tonight. Didn’t really feel like it so I just nursed a coke and I think the team thought it was a mixed drink.” His voice is heavenly and you personally can’t wait to hear what he sounds like moaning your name or any other name you both decide on.

You stop for a moment and place the back of your hand on his forehead before you announce, “Good news, you don’t have a fever! Bad news, I can’t place why else you’d be so red.” He splutters for a moment and your red only turns him more red.

“Yeah,” his voice cracks and you feel his palm become sweaty despite the cool temperature, “I don’t know why either.”

He’s so adorable if he thinks you’re gonna let him off the hook so easily. You lean in closer to him and whisper, “You know, my darling… I think I do know why you’re so red right now and it’s the same reason you’re always blushing around me,” you can hear him audibly gulp but he doesn't display any signals for you to stop so you continue, “The team used to think it was because I made you nervous and while that is partially correct, I think it’s because I made you excited, right?”

You stop in your tracks and you’re grateful you timed this correctly because you’re able to back him onto your car.

He’s looking down at you, eyes wide and pupils dilated, and you can’t help the smirk that graces your face. He looks so good like this but you think he’d look better looking up at you from his knees.

You reach up to cradle his face in your hands and say,“Tell me if you want this, Spencer. If you say no, I’ll stop and we’ll never have to speak of this again but… If you do want this, say please and I’ll take you home.”

He’s looking at you with something close to adoration and his admission is so quiet that if you hadn’t been staring so intently at him, you wouldn’t have heard him or read the plea that fell from his lips.

“Please.”

Oh, how that one little word sounded like music to your ears.

You take the last leap and lean forward to kiss him. His lips are exactly how you pictured and he tastes like the chapstick you gave him on that case to Alaska. This makes you feel unbearably smug because if he’s been using this chapstick rather than his usual one, it means you’ve affected even more than you thought.

When you finally pull away, Spencer looks confused and very rumpled.

“As much as I would love to continue this, I’d rather we didn’t do this in a parking lot for our first time.” He perks up at “first time” and you smile at him, “and there will be plenty of times to do this later. You’re not getting rid of me now that you’ve finally succumbed to my advances.”

“I agree.” He smiles at you and you take his hand into your own, giving it a light squeeze.

“Now, let’s get to my apartment so we can continue this."

[chocojjk]

Eggs

summary: badboy! changbin if you squint 

words: 7k

warnings: one mention of death by illness

a/n: this took way too long cause i got so lazy lmfao, slide into my inbox with prompts cause idk what to write after this 

not edited per usual, im lazy :(((

you and changbin lived in different worlds

changbin has always been the schools most notorious bad boy

along with his group, 3racha

he was the typical bad boy -- gets into fights, wears leather, barely shows up to class, etc.

after watching countless of rom-coms, you and i, reader, should know that bad boys like to keep to themselves

and they won't bother you unless you cross their territory, not at all different from changbin

someone bullies one of his friends???

you might as well run now , because he will be coming for your ass

he catches you talking shit?

you should probably say goodbye to your mouth and have a doctors appointment ready

the point im trying to make is that seo changbin does not take shit from anyone

which doesn't really matter at this point because everyone has learned to fear him

on the other hand, you're, what they say is a “good girl”

too caught up with your books and your grades, in the library 24/7, worrying too much about the future you envision

you stayed away from drama as much as possible, happy with the 2-3 friends that you have  

and,,,

well,,,

you probably saw this coming,, but just in case you didnt, ill say it

your two different worlds are about to collide

---------------

youve been searching for a little over 20 minutes to where he could be when you finally spotted him at the table all way in the back of the library

you let out the deepest sigh, you shouldve figured he would choose that table jfc

‘he really is sticking to his reputation’ you think to yourself as you made your way over to him

“hi, im y/n, i'm your tutor,” you say, giving him a soft smile

changbin doesn't even bother to reply to you as he got up and left

you were left standing there like,,,

what the fuck just happened ??

before you finally snapped out of your confused trance and chased after him

catching up to him you grab his arm, putting a complete halt to his movement

and suddenly the library was even quieter than it should be

every single eye in the room focused on the interaction that lies in front of them

the notorious bad boy and the goody two shoes,,, how incredibly cliche

he looks at you, his eyes dark and unreadable

the expression on his face was emotionless yet it felt like he was crushing you under his stare

finally noticing that your hand was still gripped around his arm, you quickly let go, letting out a small “ehem”

the tension in the air was thick, it felt like someone just put a dark cloud above your head and you couldn’t blow it away

god damn this was awkward

not even the good awkward where you can laugh about it later, this is the kind of awkward situation that hits you in the middle of the night and suddenly you're just cringing at every bad thing you have done in the past

“uhm, im suppose to tutor you,” you try to say confidently as soon as you found your voice, but really it was barely above a whisper

“maybe show up on time,” he says, his voice as dark and as strong as his aura

and with one final look at you, he walked out of there

you didnt bother anymore, you knew you were at fault

‘we’ll try again tomorrow,’ you think to yourself before your best friend, hyunjin walked up to you, pulling you outside the library  

“dude are you okay?”

“uhmm, why wouldn’t i be?”

“i just saw you talking to changbin”

“ok and ?”

“he’s bad news y/n,” your best friend says, warning you

“ i dont really have a choice hyunjin” you reply

you think back to 3 days ago when you were called to the principal's office

not gonna lie, you were shaking in your boots,, only bad kids get randomly sent to the principal's office

as you entered the room, Mrs. Seo was already waiting for you behind her desk

“hi ms. l/n, i dont think weve formally met,” she says, reaching out to shake your hand

“ its nice to meet you”

“ please, sit down, make yourself comfortable,” she continued, pointing to the seat right in front of her

sensing your nervousness she quickly added a, “don't worry, you're not in trouble”

phew

your brain was starting to hurt from trying to rack what you must have done wrong to be seated in the big office

“ why am i here then if you don't mind me asking?”

“ ah yes, i need you to tutor my son”

,,,,,

oh

(◎_◎;)

,,,

“umm, why me?”

“you're top 1 in the class, is there anyone better than you to do it?”

well,,, she wasn't wrong

you mentally pat yourself at the back for this, happy that your efforts were being noticed

“don't worry ms. l/n, if you succeed, i’ll make sure you get into any college that you desire “

‘pshhhh, im top 1 ms seo, i can do that on my own’ you think to yourself 

“....and fully paid for.”

well, shit , how can you say no to that offer

its literally free education right in your fingertips  

what's the catch??

“ you can do that?” you ask

“ of course. i know very important people. so what do you say?”

and after a few minutes of contemplating within yourself, you finally agreed

“ also, while you're at it, i want you to change my son's reputation.”

and there it is

“ i'm sorry?” you reply,, maybe you just misheard the fact that she literally asked you to change her son

“ i don't just want you to tutor him in english, i want you to make him a better person.”

“how do you expect me to do that?”

“be his friend. teach him the ways of life, i'm not always gonna be around to get him out of trouble. You're a smart girl ms. l/n you'll figure it out.”

without giving you a final say, she ushered you out of there but not before she added

“ one last thing ms. l/n, dont tell anyone about this.”

the way she said it was so scary, and its like a spell was casted on you and you could only utter out an

“ of course mam”

i guess from her standpoint, she made sense

“ i just dont understand why Mrs. Seo chose you out of all the people”

“ we’ve already gon over this hyunjin”

“ yeah yeah, its cause youre the smartest of the class-”

hyunjin continues to talk however you’ve tuned him out as your eyes went to focus on changbin, himself

greeting the rest of his friends, an actual smile on his face, much different from the changbin you encountered a couple minutes ago

he gets up on his motorcycle and was about ready to put his helmet on when he felt someone staring at him ( i told yall, tYpiCAl bad boy )

he whips his head around in quick search for the culprit

and for the second time that day, you found yourself looking in the dark brown eyes of the the one and only, seo changbin

his smile quickly disappearing once he found your eyes

putting on his helmet whilst still maintaining the eye contact, he quickly drove away and you can't help but continue to just watch his figure retreat to the size of a dot until he was completely away from your line of vision

the next day - friday

you were in the library, seated in the table changbin used the day before

unlike yesterday, you were there dummy early

exactly 30 minutes before the actual tutoring session

he wasn't going to get away this time

finally , the chair across from you gets occupied, a backpack loudly flopping its way unto the table

he doesn't say a word,

he doesn't even look at you

he just sits there, staring at the table between you guys

“uhm, i think we got on the wrong foot yesterday, im y/n”

you say, a wide smile on your face, trying to change the atmosphere

he scoffs at this

‘omyfuckinggod who does he think he is’

‘im gonna fucking murder this kid’

‘his mom was right when he said he needed to change’

as much as you wanted to just punch him in the face, you plastered a small smile on your face instead

“should we start?” you continue

“i guess”

for the next hour, you learn that changbin doesn’t even need tutoring

he was definitely smarter than he lead on

he knew the answer to every single question you asked and didnt even seem like he was trying 

“uhmm, changbin can i ask you something?”

he just nods at you, urging you to go on

“are you failing your class on purpose?”

and with that he stands up, giving you a small smirk, “i think this session is over,”

“i-okay- i-i’ll see you on monday!” you say even though he was already a good 5 feet away from you  

-----------

as you laid in your bed that night, you wondered why the boy chose to fail his class

but no matter what scenario you could think of, you just cant understand it

is this what privileged people do ?

they know that they can get away with anything so they dont even try ?

‘aish, why am i thinking about him,’

‘y/n stop it’

‘ahhhhh’

you tried forcing yourself to sleep, to completely shut off all thoughts

but damn that stupid smirk on his face just keeps reappearing

and with that you slapped your pillow unto your face, not at all excited for the days to come

saturday night - 9 pm

to be honest, you weren't the type to go out on a saturday night

however you stayed in bed the whole day binging your netflix shows that you completely forgot to run your errands

so now you're here, at the local supermarket, buying your weekly groceries

you may be asking why can't your parents just do it?

well,,,

you only live with your mom, and she was very busy running the night shift at the hospital + picking up extra shifts

so she's really never home 

and when she is, she crashes right to sleep, exhausted from work

so ever since two years ago, when you turned 16, this has been the life that you were used to

you weren't complaining of course, she was only working to provide for you and your future

the least you could do is help around the house

after a good 7 minutes, you finally gathered everything that you needed

eggs, check

bread, check

peanut butter, check

a bag of hot cheetos,,,, check check and check

you nodded, proud of yourself for finishing it so fast and made your way to your car until a loud crash stops you from doing so

the next thing you know, you were being dragged into the alleyway

“1!!!!1111! I- get off of me,” you say thrashing and kicking, trying to get away

‘oh god, im gonna die tonight,’

‘if there is a god out there,, pls,,, not tonight’

‘i haven't finished my netflix series yet,, plssss’

however your thoughts were cut short when your captor whispered, “shhh, its changbin”

changbin??

chaNgbIN???

chANGBIN???

he finally turns you around, making you face him

“play along if you don't want to get hurt,”

and in one quick motion, his lips were on yours,,,

seo changbin was kissing you

your eyes open, stunned at what was happening

and then you noticed it...5 men walking around the area

and hoping that you've watched the right dramas, you pieced together what you think is happening

leading you to closing your eyes and kissing him back

which honestly caught changbin off guard, “good girls” dont react this way???

but he’d never let you know that, as he pulled you closer to him,

his arms snaking  around your waist

your hands going around his neck, the grocery bag being forgotten

yall were full on making out now

too caught up with each other’s taste to even notice the 5 guys leaving

(((im really bad at writing these kinds of scenes jfc, this sounds awkward as hell pls just picture it)))

until finally after like 23823 years, you pulled away, trying to catch your breath

damn, that kiss was good

probably the best one you’ve ever had

what????

just cause you're a goody-two-shoes doesn't mean you haven't been kissed before okay,,, were not going THAT cliche

he slowly lets go of you, his eyes darting to the grocery bag on the ground

“your eggs are broken,” he says

“m-my eggs?”, you reply, still on cloud nine,

following his gaze, you snapped out of your daze

“oh, r-right, my eggs,” you say softly, a frown making its way upon your face

changbin grabs your hand, pulling you towards the grocery store

“what are you doing?”

as usual, he doesn’t reply

honestly, you should be used to this by now

he dashes around the supermarket

you were right behind him, trying to keep up with his fast paced speed

finally, he gets to his location, the egg aisle

“which one do you want?”

“what?”

“eggs, which one?” he replies

“uhm, you don't have to, i can ju-”

“i'm not doing this for you,” he replies, cutting you off

you looked at him , not knowing what he meant

‘if he wasn't doing it for me then who the fuck is he buying these eggs for, i don't see anyone else here’

sensing your dumbness he grabbed a carton of the most expensive eggs and made his way to the cashier, pulling you along  

and you don't know why, or what has gotten into you, but all you could do was watch and follow

“here. were even now.” he says, before walking away, leaving you in front of the grocery store, holding a carton of eggs

monday

and now we’re back to the start of the week

which means another week of tutoring

as you waited for changbin to show up at the usual spot, you can’t help but think back to two nights ago

the feeling of his lips against yours all a distant memory yet at the same time, one that you could still remember clearly

“hey,” changbin says, breaking you out of your thoughts

“hi?” you reply, confused as to why he even greeted you in the first place

you guys do the usual, read a couple of flash cards, learn new words blah blah blah and all that boring crap that you learn in a high school English class

at one point you guys find yourself just sat in silence, and you can’t help but ask the question that’s been on your mind since Saturday night

“so who were those guys?”

“doesn’t concern you”

“uhm, the fact that you had your tongue down my mouth says otherwise,”

changbin was shocked, he wasn’t used to people responding to him the way you just did

don’t you know who he is???

he gives you one of his signature smirks, regaining his composure

“you liked my tongue being down your throat,” he says teasingly

o_O

＜(。_。)＞

excuse me what

is he flirting with you ??

what’s happening ??

“who said I did?” you say mimicking his tone, not allowing yourself to back down of this conversation

after Saturday night you told yourself that you were never going to just watch and follow

if you didn’t want the damn egg, you should’ve said something, you were so disappointed in yourself

you had your own brain, you can make your own decisions

besides you were here to be in control over him, not the other way around

“oh cmon, you’re really gonna try to refute it??” he says, the stupid smirk still evident on his stupid face

god, how you wish you could just smack it off

with your mouth

wait, who said that???

“you enjoyed it just as much as I did,” you say, knowing that if you answer then he would stop

and you were right, he completely shut his mouth and let the silence envelop you once again

“they were kids from another school,”

you look up at him, shocked that he actually answered

“why were they looking for you?”

“I may have keyed their car,” he says chuckling

“Because?”

“Isn’t that enough questions y/n?”

y/n

that was the first time he’s ever said your name

and you weren’t gonna lie, you liked how it sounded

“sorry”

“it’s fine”

“i don’t want to question it but why are you being so nice?”

“you helped me out without questioning me which means you trust me. im just returning the favor.”

“so, what im hearing is , you trust me?”

<(￣︶￣)>

“don’t make me have to say it out loud”

trust

you don’t know how you did it so quickly,

maybe the gods are at your side, but you finally got thE seo changbin to trust you

2  weeks later

you’ve been tutoring changbin just the same

same time

same table

same library

however, so much has changed

mostly the dynamic of your guys’ relationship

it was like he was a totally different person

like I said before, changbin was smart

but in these last couple of days, you realized just how smart he actually was,

he can honestly probably give you a run for your money

and because of this, your past tutoring sessions have ended up with you guys just laughing and joking around

weird, right ?

changbin and laughing ?

who would’ve thought ??

even onlookers were surprised

and everytime changbin laughed at one of your guys’ silly antics, you swear you can hear a pin drop

the whole room just becomes silent

at first, it bothered you how people were just listening in to your conversation, obviously judging the scene

but as the days went by and it seemed that changbin could care less, you started not caring either

and if you were being completely honest, you looked forward to spending time with him

when changbin was with you, it was just you and changbin, nothing else

he somehow manages to make you forget about reality

“lets ditch tutoring sessions today,” he says as soon as he took the seat next to you

“changbin, no”

“c’mon y/n, live a little”

“excuse you! I do have a life!”

“making out with your homework and watching Netflix shows 24/7 is not a life”

“okAy, now you’re just being mean,” you say, pouting at him

“im not being mean, I’m being honest,”

“yeAH and?? no one asked for your honesty,”

changbin laughs at this

lately he found himself laughing more

and for once, he didn’t mind it

you were doing something to him

and he liked it

“cmon, I’m not taking no for an answer,” he says, packing up your things

you sigh in defeat

you know that once changbin sets his mind to something, there's no changing it

so here you are, standing in front of an abandoned music building

“uhhhh, what are we doing here?”

“have you ever trespassed before?” he replies, a smug smile on his face

“nu-uh nope, no way in hell changbin!” you say, your attempt to stop this from happening

however, changbin was already making his way towards the door, completely breaking the lock

aannnndd

he was inside  

“c’mon y/n,” he says reaching out his hand to yours

even though all you need to do is take two steps forward and you're officially a criminal

you were scared shitless

what happens if you get caught omg

almost like he was reading your mind, he quickly says, “y/n, ive been here over a million times and ive never gotten caught,”

“i dont know changbin”

“hm, thats too bad, i wanted to share a secret with you,” he says, a hint of playfulness in his voice before he stepped out of the building and made his way towards his motorcycle

but of course,,,

you being a nosy bitch

“wait,”

“yes?”

“lets go inside”

you guys enter the building, the rooms getting darker and darker the deeper you go (this building is huge okAY)

if you weren't shitting your pants before, you definitely are now 

an abandoned building???

and its dark???

youve seen this in every scary movie out there

it never goes well

“uhm changbin,” you whisper, as you guys continue to walk

“hm”

“i-um can i hold your hand? im scared and - actually you know what its fine its dumb you dont hav-”

but before you can even finish your sentence, his hand were already laced around yours, providing you the comfort and security that you were looking for

you shut your mouth after that, just letting changbin lead the way

passing by so many rooms, each one looking the same as the other, it was starting to feel like a maze

however , changbin seemed to know exactly where to go

‘I guess he has been here over a million times’ you thought to yourself

“were here,” he says, opening the door and letting go of your hands as he reached out for the lights

not gonna lie, you were missing the way his hand felt around yours but thats not the time to think about that

“a music room?” you asked, clearly puzzled

“yeah, you might not know this about me but i can spit barsss,” he says, letting out chuckle

“eyE”

“you dont believe me huh”

“absolutely not”

“ok, watch this”

and with that he entered the recording booth, of course not after he pressed a bunch of buttons

honestly , you have no idea what he’s doing

but as soon as he put the headphones on

*cue any 3racha song because im too indecisive to choose one*

he was,,

indeed,,,

spitting bars

you could not believe your ears

who the fuck is this

you stood there, stunned at the fact the he was rapping about real shit and not something stupid and meaningless (rip wow, she is meaNinGFUL to me okAY)

after he finished rapping, the room was absolute silent

changbin felt dumb, he thought you were gonna praise him but there you were not uttering a single word,

he need you to say something ,anything,, hell, you can even laugh

he’d prefer anything over the silence  

he’s literally the ‘i just showed u my dick pls respond’ meme but its like ‘i showed u my talent pls validate me’

avoiding to make eye contact with you, he walks out of the recording booth

sitting on the couch against the wall, he finally breaks the silence

“so yeah, thats a song my friends and i wrote, its stupid-”

“its not stupid.” you say quickly

“oh?”

“since when where you into this?” you ask, curiosity filling your eyes, taking the seat right next to him

“what do you mean? music?? everyone’s into music y/n” changbin retorts, not wanting to go into detail

“hhhh, you know what i mean changbin,”

changbin doesnt know why

but he wanted to share this side of him with you

maybe because you were the first person that he has ever allowed himself to be close with

or maybe it was because you stuck around him for this long, no one, besides chan and jisung were able to do that

whatever it was, he wants to keep you by his side

he figured that showing you his true self would do just that

so after having a battle with his inner thoughts, he finally says

“my dad was really into this stuff, he taught me everything i know,” changbin beamed

“oh! thats really cool, do you still make music with him?” you say, genuinely interested, youve never really heard about his dad before

“uhmm, hes not really around for me to do that,”

aaaannd,,, thats why,, god reader smh

“oh, im sorry,” you say softly, mentally slapping yourself

“no its okay, you didnt know….he passed away when i was 11”

“what happened?,,,, y-you dont have to tell me if you dont want to,” you quickly added

“I want to,” changbin says, reassuring you

“he just,,, he just died in his sleep, apparently it was a stroke,” sighing, he looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back his tears

“you must miss him,” you say, your voice still soft

for the first time since youve met changbin, he resembled a piece of glass

so fragile

he was giving you a piece of him, letting you see clearly a part of who he was

and all you wanna do is make sure that you won’t break that piece

“he built this studio...wanted to start his own music company,” he continued as you sat there just listening to him

“my mom hates it though, she stopped funding this place as soon as she can,”

oh

the mention of his mom suddenly brought you back to the deal that you have made 2 weeks ago

and god, you felt guilty

you were here, trying to change him, when nothing should be changed

sure seo changbin had a bad reputation but he is not bad

he’s just protective is all

to be honest, he was one of the kindest, gentlest soul you have met

“i promised myself that i would continue our dream, for him and me, but mostly for him,”

“i-is that why youre failing your classes?” you ask, everything finally piecing together

“huh?”

“you dont care about school because you already know what you want to do...where you want to be”

“hm, you truly are a smart girl y/n,” he says before nodding and flashing you a smile

those words

so similar to the ones his mom has given you

but this time you weren't in the mood to pat yourself in the back

because shit, this is thE dumbest thing you've ever done in your life

after hearing this, you made up your mind, you werent gonna partake in this deal anymore

if you were really as smart as everyone says, you can get into the school you want without any problem

sure it won't be free, but your mom aint working her ass off during her nightly shifts for nothing

and so, right when you go to school tomorrow, you were determined to end it

you’d still tutor changbin, you just won't accept any of the perks that came along with it

“thank you for sharing this with me,” you say genuinely, a smile creeping unto your face

“thank you for caring enough to listen,” changbin replies, his smile getting wider

and then it hits you,

“wait, so you mean to tell me that this is YOUR studio all along??”

and at this changbin lets out the loudest laugh

and you can't help but mirror his actions

1 week later

oof, that time jump, i thought you were gonna end it the next day reader

welp,,

you work hard, but somehow satan, aka the author, works harder

Mrs. Seo had to leave for two weeks, attending board meetings around the country, and whatever principals do,,, i'm too lazy to research what they actually do  

╥﹏╥

and so you spent another week, with seo changbin by your side

one week down, another to go

and when that day comes, you can finally freely hang out with him without all the guilt eating you up

this week you guys even hung out outside of the library

you’ve been with him so much, even your friends have started to notice it

“y/n, are you coming with us to the movies,” felix asks

“oh,, umm sorry guys, i cant,”

“who else are you gonna be with? i thought we were your only friends,” minho pointed out, a pout on his face  

“with changbin of course,” hyunjin hissed, obviously upset that you have been pushing them to the side  

“ i can hang out with anyone that i want,” you argued, really not having any of his attitude 

“ you shouldnt hang out with people like him,” hyunjin retorted

you scoffed, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i mean blink once if youre being held captive” hyunjin joked, as the rest of the table snickered

however, you didn't find it funny,

who were they to talk about changbin like that??

they didnt even know him

and so you stood up, leaving all your friends calling out for you

-------------

walking to the table, you flopped down on your chair, slamming your backpack on the floor

“what's got you in such a bad mood?” changbin asks

“nothing,” you huffed, getting your materials out of your backpack

you didn't want to tell changbin that your best friends think hes the devil himself and didn't want you around him

meanwhile , changbin was annoyed

it seems like he's shared so much with you since the music room yet he still barely knows anything about you

he wondered that maybe you didn't want to be in his life the way he wanted to be in yours

but fuck it, he’s just gonna spend the time he has with you enjoying it rather than filling his mind with negative thoughts

but damn, you're frown was really bothering him

“y/n,” he says, calling out to you

no response

“y/n,” he continues, poking you on the elbow

still no response

“y/n”

You sigh, looking up at him, an emotionless expression on your face, you responded with a strong, “what.”

*insert changbin doing aegyo*

and with that , you lost it

you were an absolute madman

you never expected that the one and only seo changbin

notorious badboy

would ever do aegyo

all because you had a stupid frown on yourself

you laughed so loud

changbin doing the same as soon as your melodic laugh hit his ears

which resulted to you guys being kicked out of the library

-------------

“ i cant believe you got me kicked out of my favorite place,” you say, seated in a booth inside the ice cream parlor near your guys’ school

another one of changbins ideas

“ hey its not my fault you laugh like a hyena!” he says smiling before you threw a curled up paper tissue at his face

a couple of seconds later, after your laughter has died down

“ so, you want to tell me now why you were in such a sour mood?”

you knew that if you werent gonna tell him now that would still end up finding out about it from someone else

and so you came clean

“ its just my friends,,,, they dont think youre a good influence, wants me to stop hanging out with you” you say

“ oh,”

“ but dont worry!, i didnt listen to them, i actually told them off,” you confessed

“ why didnt you listen to them? theyve been your friends longer than youve known me?” he asks

“ because they dont know you” you reply, “and im sure if they did, they would also be friends with you”

as much as he appreciated the way you stood up for him, he didnt want you going through all that trouble 

‘god, what did he even do to deserve an angel like you,’ changbin thinks to himself 

“ don't tell them off next time,” he grunted

“ wh-what?”

“ everything they say about me is true”

“ changbin, no its not”

“ honestly y/n it doesnt bother me so dont let it bother you”

“ why doesnt it bother you?” you ask, wanting to know the reason

“ because its high school. after this, literally no one would care anymore. and then real life starts, people move on and worry about bigger things, things that actually matter more than the status quo. let them say what they say.”

and just like every other time, changbin has left you stunned

the arrival of Ms. Seo - tuesday 

a week has passed since the ice cream parlor

and Ms. Seo was back in town

this was it

the day you finally put a halt to it

and you were beyond ready

you haven't seen changbin all day

you figured that since his mom was back then he was also back to avoiding the school like it was a plague

you entered Ms. Seos room, determined

“Ms. Seo -”

She puts a hand up to her lips, signaling you to be quiet

‘bitch omygod i literally cant keep doing this any longer,’

‘its already been over a month’

so you ignored her warning

“im not doing this deal anymore. I’ll still tutor changbin but I won’t change him,,,, and you can keep your stupid money,” you let out, releasing all the bottled up emotions

“is that all,”she replies

“yes”

“then you may leave”

what???

it was that easy????

you thought she was gonna stop you, force you to hold your end of the bargain

if you knew it would’ve been this easy then you wouldn’t have worried over it so much

but you don’t know a lot of things

and you certainly didnt know that changbin was on the other line

later that day

you’re seated in the library

usual place, usual time, waiting for the one and only seo changbin, yet he never showed

you didn’t think much of it

‘maybe he just forgot’ you tell yourself

the next day - wednesday

here you were again, waiting for him

still nothing

you try and think of reasons why he wouldn’t show up two days in a row and can really only think of one - maybe his mom told him that he didn’t need tutoring anymore?

but surely, he would tell you

right ???

sure you guys started off on the wrong foot but you were friends now

at least you thought so

you decided to just give him the benefit of the doubt

‘maybe he’s just busy’

2 days later - friday

you’ve tried everything you can do to get a hold of changbin

all your calls went straight to voicemail

texts were left on delivered

you didn’t even see him around school anymore

it was like your worlds never collided and he was never a part of yours

you were starting to get worried, what if he got himself into trouble

“look who decided to show her face,” hyunjin comments as you took the seat next to him

ever since the day you guys had your argument, you have never been able to talk to him about it

“im not in the mood,” you reply,

hyunjin sensing that you were exhausted,

“hey,” he says softly, “what’s wrong?”

“nothing”

“y/n please, we’ve been friends for over 3 years, you don’t need to lie to me”

“aren’t you mad at me?”

“no. im upset that you’ve been pushing us to the side for your little boy toy but im not mad,” he says giving you a soft smile

hhhhh, it was times like these you remember why he was your best friend

hyunjin was just so thoughtful, so caring

you return the smile he gave you as you pulled him in for a tight hug

“I’m sorry hyunjin”

“it’s okay, im sorry too, now tell me what’s wrong?”

“it’s just changbin-“

“I swear to god, if he even laid a finger on you he’s a dead man”

“no!” you say quickly putting an end to his assumption

“so what happened?” he asks, eyebrows going up in sheer curiosity

and then you told him

you told him about the deal with Ms. seo

about how your relationship with changbin changed along the way

how you ended the deal

and now we’re back to changbin and ignoring you

“damn, well have you tried actually going to him?”

“i wouldnt even know where -”

and then it hits you

the abandoned music building

“hyunjin, youre a genius!!!,” you say excitedly

“thanks, we been knew”

“ i have to go ill explain later, bye!!” you say, dashing out of there as fast as you could and made your way to the abandoned building

taking the bus there gave you time to reflect on everything that has happened this past couple month

how much your life has changed since changbin entered it

he pushed you to take risks, to live out of your comfort zone, to not care about other people’s opinions

he made you feel free

and most importantly, he made you happy

the good girl has fallen for the bad boy, i told yall this was gonna be cliche right?

continuing on

just as you  expected, the door was open

the dark didnt even bother you anymore, the only thing in your mind was changbin

oh,, where could he be??

could you ever find your way into this maze of a building and retrace the steps that he took when he was by your side?

as you got deeper and deeper into the building, you feel yourself start to get lost

‘fuck i already saw this door’

‘omg y/n did you really just walk in a circle’

and then you hear it

music, singing

your nightingale

you walk faster, desperate to get to the voice

and here you are now, face to face with the one and only, seo changbin

he stops singing as soon as he saw you walk in

“hey,” you whisper out yet he continued to just stand there, not uttering a single word

“your voice is really pretty, i didnt know you could sing!-”

“what do you want?” his voice, dark and firm just like the day you first met him

This caught you off guard

Did you do something wrong?

“Did i do something wrong?” you say, not aware that you have said your thoughts out loud

changbin chuckles but it was so uninviting, like he was taunting you

“ please, drop the act”

?????

“what?” you reply, completely confused

“ you dont like me ”

“ changbin, what?”

“ you're just like everyone else”

“ changbin i really dont understand pl-”

“ i shouldn't have trusted you.”

“ what?!??, no changbin, you can trust me! just tell me whats wrong!”

all the while, you guys were still talking with a glass between the two of you

ironic, since you felt like a wall has been planted around changbin and you cant reach him  

“ you think i should change”

“ no”

“ what do you mean no? I heard you y/n! I heard what you told my mom, i heard about the stupid deal, the stupid money!”

(⊙…⊙,)

“ changbin, let me explain”

“ i know im known as the bad boy y/n, but you… youre even worse than me”

“ changbin.”

“ youre a monster”

and with hearing those words, the tears that you have been so desperately trying to keep just bursted out like a waterfall

changbin too, has let out his tears

and all we got now are two broken people who can clearly see each other yet are still on opposite sides of the glass

“ you're just like everyone out there that you have resented, you judged me by other people’s words, i thought- i thought that i can finally found someone i could open up to but you never even gave me chance from the beginning”

you let him talk without interrupting him

you deserved the ache you were feeling in your heart

everything he said was true

and with that he breaks down, straight to the floor, back against the wall, hugging his knees

and all you could do was watch, until you couldn't take it anymore

you finally entered the recording booth , taking a seat on the floor right next to him, mimicking his broken figure

“im sorry”

silence

you looked up at the ceiling as you sighed

he deserves an explanation

“ yes, i took the deal, but that's because i thought i needed it changbin. I may be smart, but financially my family isn't doing well. my mom already works extra shifts but it still won't be enough. my dad isnt even in the picture, i dont know where the hell he is”

and with this, changbins head slowly perks up, looking at you with his glass-like eyes, as you continued to stare at the ceiling

you were finally opening up to him

just like how he has been doing

“ i took the deal because, you’re right, i judged you, i was stupid and i never expected us to actually be friends, clearly i was wrong. you have taught me so much. you have pushed me into doing things i never thought i could do. you made me see the world in a different way.”

he’s still just listening to you when you finally took your eyes away from the ceiling and faced him

“ i understand if you dont want to see me anymore but i cant leave you knowing that i never got to say this,” you continue, afraid of the results that were about to come

“ what else are you hiding from me?” he says, but this time, he says it softly, the furious changbin that you have encountered just minutes ago was completely gone

“ i think im in love with you,” you say, quickly looking down, embarrassed at your confession

“ y/n look at me,”

“ i dont want to”

“ why?”

“ i know you're gonna break my heart”

“ you broke mine first,” and with that he lifted your chin up, making you look him straight into his eyes before kissing you

this kiss was different from your first one

it was slow but passionate, filled with all of the unsaid words between the two of you

your guys lips both slightly chapped from all the crying

yet his lips still felt like the softest pair against yours

pulling away, changbin leans his forehead against yours, his eyes closed

yours were open though, taking the sight all in before you pulled away, wiping away his left over tears

“ god, were a mess,” he finally says out loud, before he pulled you in a tight hug 

“ im sorry,” you say again

“ i’ll forgive you if you promise to continue tutoring me?”

“ what ?”

“ continue the deal, get the money”

“ changbin, i really don't want to do that”

“ i know you dont. but we have to finesse my mom somehow,” he says, bursting into a smile, clearly joking

…

..

“eYE,,, i cannot believe you right now! You can't be serious!”

“ but i am. go back into her office tell her you’ll continue it and get the money for your education.”

“changbin! stop joking! I already feel bad about it!”

“Okay fine i just like it when you tutor me okay, its kinda sexy” he says

playfully slapping him, you guys laugh, the tension in the air finally gone

“ you know if you didnt buy me those eggs, we wouldnt be here by now,” you say, a small smile on your face

“ hmm, and why?”

“ because those eggs were the first time i realized that the most notorious bad boy, the one and only Seo Changbin, can also be soft,”

“ do not use my name and soft in the same sentence ever again,”

“ what are you gonna do about it?” you reply, taunting him

and so

he pulled you into another kiss

and another

and another

until a series of laughter coming from the both of you interrupted it

“im glad i bought you those eggs”

hhhhhhh this ending is so rushed and so bad i just didnt wanna leave it unfinished 

ALSO IM SEEING STRAY KIDS BITCHES!!!!!,,,,,, MY SEAT HELLA FAR BUTS ITS OKAY BECAUSE ILL STILL BE THERE ╭(′▽`)╭(′▽`)╯

[itsgonnabe-brian-may]

8 inches...

Welcome to my first fic, I hope you like it :) feel free to critique and give feedback. Also feel free to request or want to be added to my tags lol, Imma try and post like once a week at least. Anyways enjoy and please be kind :)  -M 

Warnings: fluff // one sexual innuendo // bad writing // a few swears

Ben!Roger Taylor x reader

Word count: 1087

✦✧✦✧

An intense shiver threw you from sleep. It was mid-January and understandably cold, especially in the cheap shithole apartment you called home. Somedays you would have to scrape ice from the inside of the glass panes scattered thoughtlessly throughout the rooms. You assumed they were only there to meet the fire code, but they gave some life to the grey walls, especially in the spring. In reality, spring was only like two months away but it felt like an eternity. Another shiver came from the mound under the blankets in your shared bed. A cold hand found its way under your sweater contacting bare skin causing startling you from your thoughts. Letting out a muffled gasp, the mound that the hand belonged to laughed and pulled you closer. Soon cold limbs found their way onto your bare skin evoking a scream while you tried to get out of Roger's grasp.

"nothing sexual love, just survival" he muttered in your ear whilst pulling you closer. If he was fully awake the sentence would've been an innuendo or something. Still, you squirmed around trying not to have bare skin contact bare skin, it was too damn cold. The two of you laid there in silence for a bit savoring the warmth. It was quite peaceful, which was unheard of in your life. Normal mornings were filled with fighting over the tiny bathroom to get ready or running around to find a pair of shoes that you just HAD to wear with your outfit. Normally Roger would scoff and make some comment about how "They're just shoes Y/N". So you started hiding his shoes and clothing for a matter of fact. Now every cupboard was practically a closet. So the stillness was unusual but welcomed. It didn't last long. Roger shot out of bed faster than a kid on Christmas but wasn't as excited.

"Shit, Shit, Shit" He swore under his breath, pulling off his sweats and pulling on some jeans. "What is it Rog?" you said sitting up in bed still not understanding what was going on all of a sudden. "I promised the boys we could record today, we're almost done with the album," He said pausing for a brief second to look at you. You let out a laugh and threw off the pile of blankets. "They'll understand if your late, we can just blame it on the snow..." You said before looking outside through the small window.  Roger joined you standing with his arm on your shoulder. Both of you looked like you had seen a ghost. You truly were going to be late because of the snow. You had never seen so much on the ground. Sure it snowed in London and you've been on ski holiday before, but yesterday there was a thin layer with grass poking out to say hello. Today their hellos were drowned by a thick layer of snow.

"Now I'm going to be really late" Roger sighed and went back to getting dressed. "Well no worries, you have a master shoveler as your girlfriend," You said in a sing-song tone. Your time spent in the Alps had prepared you to handle the elements. Especially snow. You threw on a pair of jeans and a warm sweater and slid on a pair of boots and a light coat. Grabbing gloves and a shovel from the entry closet, you were ready to embark on your shoveling expedition. Normal apartment complexes had a parking garage or someone to shovel, but since you were a poor student and outright refused to have Roger pay more than half of the rent you settled on a cheap place with an open parking lot and lazy landlords along with residents who were pretty much just waiting for someone else to do it. That someone else was you and Roger. Roger shortly joined you in the treck downstairs and outside.

It was way worse than you had originally thought. Normally with heavy snow, it went up to your boot, but today it was at the middle of your calf. Roger let out a hopeless groan, "This is going to take forever Y/N!! I have to be there in half an hour". You laughed and shook your head of snow that had begun to pile up. "You underestimate me, love. You'll be there in no time". Having said that you began shoveling your hearts away. Soon it turned into a competition on who could shovel the fastest. Dividing the parking lot into two and yelling go the race was on. However, neither of you played fair, Roger ended up just pushing all the snow onto your side. You did the same but ended up just throwing it at Roger. Both of you ended up dropping the shovels and throwing the loose powder at each other. At one point you were flung over Rogers' shoulder unexpectedly, letting out a playful scream and attempting to get out of his grasp was hopeless but you struggled anyways. He let out a scream to match yours and tossed you into the snowbank that had just enough snow to make a soft landing. "ROGER!" You yelled as you were now going to be wet for the rest of the day, it was a good thing you didn't really try to do your hair or anything. Roger stood there laughing his ass off at the sight of you sitting in a pile of snow upset. He was snapped out of his fit of laughter when a snowball hit his face straight on, some landing in his mouth. The shocked and angry facial expression quickly melted into a mischevious one as he lunged on top of you pressing you down in the snow further. Your shriek was muffled but your laughter rang out beautifully. Both of you sat in the snow laughing contagiously. Roger decided to spoil the peaceful moment in typical Roger fashion.

"Who knew 8 inches would make you so happy" He quipped with a smirk on his face. You gaped at his comment for a second, "Oi! Don't you have an album to record!" You remarked shoving a handful of snow in his face. With an open hand, he wiped off the snow on his face and joined you on your way to his car.

Needless to say, you showed up late and both of your jeans and hair dripping wet. None of the other boys could comment as you both were laughing your asses off while walking into the studio.  

// yall thought this was gonna be nasty, don’t lie to me. 

[kissmethroughthebone]

So, I did something foolish, and yet still empowering.

I hooked up with a man, to get over my ex. Just a passive fling, nothing much.

Did it work? Yes. Now I can stop thinking of that terrible gutless man, and have new memories of the sexy new guy that can give AMAAAAZING massages, tells me how much he adores my body, and can do absurdly atrocious and yet goddamned godly things to the inside and out of my vagina.

Does he adore me, or even *like* me? Past sex, probably not. I'm not even gonna waste time pondering on it. Since of course a man will drop everything to have sex with me for a few hours in exchange for whatever food I feel like and lots of orgasms, BUT not for a late night conversation or bothering to maintain whatever friendship was forming from before.

But, I am a sucker for flings, which has hurt me in the past......

So as I broke up with my ex, I:

Met a new guy. Incredibly hot, incredibly fine, somewhat suave but quirky. Had lots in common. But he kept beating around the bush about however he felt for me. Long story short, I cut him off, and then found out he was doing his "i really really like you quite a lot" schtick with other girls... Same pet names, same flirtations and every thing. Grossssss. A simple "I'm not interested romantically but enjoy a very casual thing", or something, would suffice..... But, men play games.

Met another guy. Sweet, cute; also a virgin at 21 years of age, which made me wonder if I could make him into a trick or so..... He ended up losing interest first. Never fully explained why, other than vague stuff about how he's inexperienced or something... I try not to think about it, it probably would hurt my feelings knowing I put in some effort with the guy.

Met ANOTHER person. They were great, buuuuut men make things complicated, so instead of a straight up "I think you're great, but am not interested".... You guessed it! Got lead on.

And now, I scored a decent enough fellow that would pay for my food without hesitation, and thinks I'm the finest woman he's ever laid eyes on. BUT is not as into me as I am into them.

Shame I never learn, it seems!

Self notes:

If a man isn't chasing you, he doesn't want you, period.

You can steer his interest if you want, but then it's too many mind games to keep them around. "Do I text back fast? Do I respond slow? One word? Ask questions? Am I asking too many questions? Too blunt, too prudish, too open?" Shush. You're great. Just leave him when you can tell you're gonna lose yourself over them. Better to leave, than to stay and hate.

And of course, all men are the same. Rowan was a fine as hell "sensitive" UK guy who messaged me every morning, Kieran was a marxist bass player type guy who bad more feminine traits and supposedly preferred honesty with others, Cam was the sensitive type with zero experience whatsoever....

But, of course, they weren't too different from any other guy.

If they weren't interested, they'd distant without a second thought. If they wanted me, they'd reply INSTANTLY. Lots of things, truly.

And if sex was hinted at or available, it would be what they wanted. And once it was had, any obligation to be sweet, kind, or remotely interested was gone.

Sad, since the recent FWB had been so polite and sweet before..... But we can't hit that "oh this girl I don't know is so sweet, and very polite, I don't know why men disrespect her often?", sorta thing again. Since welp, the sex was had, and since we had sex two days in a row, they probably think I am "an easy lay", like they said another guy had probably thought of me.

(Which isn't entirely a lie, but not the truth, either; Marco was a guy who used me for sex and lied too much when I was younger. And fast forward some time later, he went from ghosting to begging for me to come back, offering to suck my toes, give oral sex, buy me rooms, food, jewelry, rides... Anything at all, if it got me back to him eventually.)

Men are useless. If they're FWBs, they'll only semi-respect you if they know you prior to sex a bit more in person. If they don't past texts, then, you're fucked, and they won't give a damn.

Ironically, men are more prone to care about you long term, even when you both agree to not have any strings attached.... If you stray from having sex. (Yes, true.)

Or if they're whipped before even meeting, or if you don't care as much as they'd expect you to.... then boom, they will chase after your emotions since they've already had your pussy.

Men are pathetic.

Just get more things from them. I only did it with my most recent guy since I really wanted a new person to fantasize over. (WHOOHOO, NO MORE HAUNTED MEMORIES FROM THE TERRIBLE MAN I DATED FOR HALF A YEAR! More hot guys with sexy dad bods that give KILLER massages and can bury their face in my pussy for ages.)

God, that boy is mad blessed.... Whew, blessed!

Anyway. Aiming for less emotional attachments to men. I think I should just go for more fuckboy types; the ones that show up in my DMs spamming me, instead of the ones who I chase.

Since honestly, I don't feel too attracted to men very often. And at least with the most disappointing or unattractive men, they at least have the decency to be repulsive OFF THE BAT! Instead of a slow burn trap that feels like you'd have to gnaw your own leg off to freaking escape from...

Plus, I respect that the stupid or ugly ones in my area feel the need to "flex" with me. I'm naturally down to earth, (a.k.a. I didn't think a 19 year old withdrawing 500 from the bank is cute,) but seeing how hoelike these men can be..... fuck it. I can go "Let's just grab a burger and open up!", and they'll get annoyed, realize they have no real substance that would interest me and refuse to try to connect, past the dynamic of "i must woo this girl with my money as she strokes my ego and pretends that im fucking amazing", and they leave..... So fuck em.

I recently made a Yelp list of every high end restaurant in my city.

Any time an overly flashy and godawful guy comes into my DMs, trying to flirt, or strike up unprovoked conversation, I'll just hit them with a "So when are you gonna take my cute self out to eat? I hope it's somewhere nice to show me off at".

Then boom, get a guy to take me to a high end restaurant I'd take myself to. Keep him interested, but not stroke his ego. The typical "oh, this hot girl isn't interested in me??? How do i win her over????", and then..... oh look.... the restaurant is RIGHT next to the mall.....

Then from there, let's hope he spends.

Its worked in the past, should work now.

Peace yalls.

[survivorsolomonislands]

Episode 10 “The One Where This Tribal Council is a Mess” (Zakriah)

(here we go yall lmao- pippa)

All along it was always me and Aro and that's how it's gonna continue to be until we're both voted out anyways. Idk Mitch has lied to me already twice now and I don't play baseball so there's no third strike here. Ofc Willow and Allie flipped on us and ofc it's just me and Aro like it always has been. And I can't wait to get 10th.

(a while later)

These people aren't even good at lying and Willow was trying to help me literally all along and she was right there literally was nothing she coulda done about it!!! I feel awful that I ruined any trust I had with her and I feel awful for cultivating a relationship with the wrong rookie on numakira. I'm just so fucked up rn and I knew it was happening too.

(later)

She's over here apologizing to Mitchell and NOT ME for this last vote when I literally just left the alliance chat! So that OBVIOUSLY tells me she has no intention of trying to work with me again after this and that pretty much me and Aro have no shot to make it any further in this bih

(even later)

Most of what I just said was very spur of the moment and I don't even remember half of it but tbh me and mitch are on the same wavelength rn and us and aro's lives basically depend on MY MORTAL NEMESES lexi and rtp

(so much later)

Mitchell and Zakriah's guide to surviving Tumblr Survivor: Solomon Islands Merged Tribe. Step 1) Vote with Allie against LA Step 2) Form a vets alliance Step 3) Steal Willow from Allie

(later isn’t even an option anymore)

LEXI AND ALLIE ARE IRL BEST FRIENDS WHAT THE FYCK IS THIS

(3 years later)

MITCHELL IS A FUCKING DETECTIVE HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS GAME IS TOO FUCKING MUCH HOW IS LEXI SO FUCKING STACKED WITH PREMADES IN THIS GAME I THOUGHT ME/ARO/LINUS WAS BAD WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUCK

(everyone has died, Zak is the only one left)

NO HOLY SHIT SERIOUSLY THIS IS LIKE WHEN IN A MOVIE SOMEONE FINDS OUT THAT THE PERSON THEY THOUGHT WERE INNOCENT AND LIKE THE GOOD GUY IS ACTUALLY THE DEVIL AND HAS BEEN BEHIND EVERYTHING THE WHOLE TIME AND THEIR FACE IS LIKE FLASHING EVERYWHERE THEY LOOK THAT IS L I T E R A L L Y ALLIE HOW DID WE NOT FIND THIS OUT SOONER OH MY LANTA

I just wanna say, Jacob, I voted Matt for you.

So there's literally no possible way I can win immunity - one of my two friends in the game exiled himself from the challenge and that leaves me next to be picked off from winning immunity along with Aro, LA, and maybe Allie too tbh. It's basically Allie/Lexi/Willow's comp to lose at this point and there's literally not a single thing I can do to give myself any edge to win at all. Out of nine people competing in this challenge only one person is working with me, and in a challenge that's essentially a popularity contest, 2/9 gets you nothing. I'm willing to accept the fact that Mitchell and I are completely screwed, and it's not helping that Mitchell is quite actually ostracizing himself from the rest of the people. I'm honestly praying he's hiding another idol from me at this point.

i know it's been a while since my last confessional and i don't wanna make a long one rn but allie's bitch ass

SO the plan for right now is to get the majority to split the vote between 2 of Me, Mitch and Zak. Willow is willing to flip with us so we can get ahead of the split and put 4 votes against Lexi or Johnny and get our minority asses back in this game. Not gonna lie Im having a blast being at the bottom with Zak and Mitchell even though Mitchell is kinda rude towards Willow >.> . We are basically the 3 amigos/ Witches Coven of the season but we will be successful know that!

Oh my GOD if I pull this off... If i pull off this 4-3-3 vote tomorrow night it WILL be the single best play I've ever made in a game. Like I'm honestly shaking. This is either aboutta go so horribly wrong and Willow is lying to us all or it's gonna go extremely well and I won't know until it's either me joining Jacob, Dana, and Matt on the jury or it's Johnny joining them. I have a vote negator, but my history with vote negators has not been a fun one. I would kill to have an idol, but if I make it through this vote, which would literally be the biggest miracle ever, I fully feel like I can retake control over my fate in this game. All hope may NOT be lost!!!

(a little bit later)

ooookay... So I just lost literal years of my life planning a Johnny blindside and now he's trying to take out Allie!!! Everyone is literally fucking VYING FOR OUR VOTES right when we thought it was a clear majority against us! What the fuck this game is so hilarious I don't know what the fuck to even say right now!

(yall thot huh)

Wow I can't believe we just orchestrated a 4-3-2-1 vote. Like imagine how lit it would be for the two people voted as most likely to be voted out next in the challenge were to literally take the 3-2-1 cirie patent vote and upgrade it to a fucking 4-3-2-1 vote! Im beyond shook at this like ive been spending the last three days absolutely certain I was gonna be the next voted out and now as far as I'm concerned I should only be seeing my name once or twice this round. I feel like ciera rn bc I'm making a big fucking move! Game changer Zakriah razzak!

Okay so I need to start writing more confessionals. BUT HOLY FUCK SO MUCH JUST HAPPENED. Okay so first to start off I won individual immunity, and I even had a one rope disadvantage, like how the heck did I do that! I mean it was just Touchy Subjects, but still, I never thought I was gonna be able to win a challenge lmao. Also I'm too tired to finish writing this confessional so I'm just gonna submit and write more tomorrow goodnight lmao.

If everyone's telling me the truth, which why would they, we get to make the sole decision on whether to keep around Johnny or Allie - the two people controlling the whole game. And the best part is that either one of them getting taken out is one less rookie to pick off me/mitchell/aro (and rtp and lexi but screw them), and then that plus my flare gets us at the very least a tie if we piss everyone off with this vote. But, hey, they left us in the dark last time, it's time for some revenge anyways! And then, after we finally get the upperhand again, we can avenge Dana too! I'm still out for blood rtp

(ive avoided this for days)

Mitchell is saying this tribal council is essentially a sitcom episode and if it is it would be called The One Where This Tribal Council is a Mess

(he’ll be gone soon, don’t worry)

Literally we're looking at rtp targetting johnny but voting with allie bc he doesnt think theres numbers to get out johnny and so its "supposed" to be a rudimentary vote split against me 4-3-3 a la queen daisy peacebeuponher but IN ACTUALITY what we're looking at here is johnny reneging and trying to blindside allie in some kind of mess of a 5-3-2 vote WHEN REALLY willow is "using" the three of us to get out JOHNNY in a FUCKING CRAZY ASS 4-3-2-1 vote that's gonna be something like johnny-aro-alie-me and i honestly... LOVE THIS

OKAY SO LET'S FUCKIN DIVE RIGHT INTO IT going into last tribal something was a miss bc of a certain miss willow sayin cryptic ass shit like "i'm sorry i can't stop what's about to happen" and so i knew then that we were fucked. the suspense of waiting was alleviated by allie basically saying she flipped and it wouldn't be on me; i could've guessed it would be matt since she hates matt, but i never thought she'd actually flip and do it bc i don't see how any of us would benefit from leaving a solid 6 to form a very volatile merge but WHATEVER and then i exposed allie and lexi's pregame relationship and close irl friendship and thought i'd blown myself up, particularly after wILLOW TOLD ME SHE FUCKING ALREADY KNEW INSTEAD OF TELGKIEFFREFIURHDIF TELLING ME TO CHILL, and NOBODy seemed to think that it was a big deal. combined w that, i fuckin bought my ass a trip to the cave and couldn't compete in immunity so FUCK me but  then also... good things zak guilted willow HARD about what allie made her do, which was particularly effective bc willow already felt like it was bad for her game. so while allie is saying we should vote LA, then saying johnny and RTP told her no so we can't, i'm like... we need willow rn to flip on this dumb twerking girl who is so far up these kids' ass yet MIRACULOUSLY still has willow up hers??? and zak does in fact guilt her into trying to get everyone else to split the votes so we can do something like get LA out or whatever but i'm sittin here like... alright... who gotta go? and it comes to me. johnny the frat boy, my lover and archenemy!! miss chrissa and dana send their regards bitch!! it seems to me that johnny has a certain degree of control over LA and Luca, and as long as he's in a potential rookie or nuTemoana faction could be reunited or resurrected on his behalf. i don't want that. the game gets more open with him gone. so zak laid the groundwork for willow's flip, and i get to her and convince her the flip gotta be on johnny. it's almost too good to be true. a 4-3-3 vote agaisnt mr frat boy keeping i, mitchell kalabang, still in the game w my f3 of zak and aro and now w miss willow on our side??? FUCK YES and then zak finds a flare that allows him to burn someone's vote at a tribal council, which means if willow stick w us worst-case scenario at the f9 is rocks. things are fallign into place, i'm so JFIOHWEIODFH EXCITED BC it's gonna be HUGE and it's almsot too good to be true when johnny's frat boy ass says he wants to get out allie w me, la, zak, aro, and him. ????? johnny wants to flip on her ass bc of my expose about her and bc she's controlling willow. little does he KNOW that willow already flipped against allie and on HIS ASS and that allie is no longer a threat bc people know that she and lex are friends. so now johnny thinks it'll be like 5-3-2 or something but in actuality it'll be more like 4-3-2-1 johnny-aro-allie-zak which makes me sCREAM THAT"S  SO FUDI*CVJOWDIS FUCIING EBEAUTIONFGD BEAUTIFUL AND ICONIC but THEN RTP FIWEODJFD  COMES TO ME AND ASKS TO MOASMDFUIBHWENDS make a move against johnny and i'm all ike ???D<EKODJFKLJWD iorhejdgio YOUWDFI(JF hwo are you people giving such a clear mnoritjy THISF IOWJDMFIO much POWMERUIOFMWEIOFDJ POWER and he can't get LA on board so he resigns himself to the split vote between aro and zak tellign me about it even tho it's supposed to be a secret but little does he know that i already know about it and i also know that it's a farce bc willow flipped and that it's not even happening bc JOGNY flipped and rtp targets johnny who targets allie who splits the vote betwween aro and zak w rtp bc he can't get the votes aginst johnny while aro and zak are gonna tke out johnny bc WE have the votes and i'm CRYIORJHdf cryin i really think we might actually get the 4-3-2-1 and if that fucking happens i'll literally fuvkcixghnfei shit myself on call somehow i mitchell kalabang am coming out on top?? and i like johnny legitimately to some extent and he might want to work w me, but johnny has also lied to me and has multiple other deals and alliances, and i can't work w that if he's gonna keep shit shady. zak and aro have been loyal and honest to me since day 1 so i'm ridin w them boys and i hope you use all the money you're in charge of as treasurer of the frat to drink yourself into a stupor so as to neuter the humiliation ur gonna feel at being outmaneuvered by fuckin willow. ALSDOJQSOFD speaking of shady miss allie like... first she flip, then i find out she got a #secretpairbeware, and i'm like ???? this BTIHDCIH she might wanna F3 w me and willow but AGAIN how am i gonna play w u when u say shit like "i know you said you didn't wanna do this and take out matt and i respect it so i got literally the entire rest of the tribe to do it instead and against u without telling u haha we still good tho i own you and control you" she seriously got so cocky after that and so self-righteous in defending herself about the lex thing and it's like... girl how the FUCK am i still savin ur ASS after tonight LMFAO the #obvioustension i've felt between me and LA is gone i think, we've had some rlly good chats lately and welp it's gonna suck for her when i now snake HER but whatevs!! and RTP and i are prob good now too considering he told me about his johnny plot and then about the split. considerin i'm gonna do his work for him and oust johnny he shouldn't be too mad lol ! idol searching i fucking went into a cave and my choices were octopus and moray eel and y'all had to be fuckin kiddin ME but ofc the cave fucks me up AHFUIEWHD AGAIN and no second idol for mitcherell kalabganfger but whatevs Somehow, everything has lined up to give me an unprecedented amount of power for someone who felt helplessly on the bottom after Matt, who I feel was an actual tick in this game harming me more than helping me with his poor gameplay and social skills, was voted out. I think I've played an influential role in getting this vote together and in forming a group that can now move solidly forward. I just... if this all works I'm going to cry because RTP going for Johnny going for Allie going for Aro/Zak who're going for Johnny without RTP knowing is a fucking sitcom episode. I can't fucking breathe. If the 4-3-2-1 is what actually happens tonight i might literally cry laughing on call for tribal. mitchell kalabang is not dead yet!

also biggest VILLAIN?????? how the fUIHEWDRHJIernfuier what've i done this season but been lied to and love dana i jsut... and they fucked up w what they said bout luca bc now he's pissed and i'm all like... come to papa :)

IM STILL SO WORRIED EVERYONES LYING TO ME THOOOOO

Okay so, in Touchy Subjects I tied with Johnny in the category "If you could not win the game, who would you most like to see win". And I'm very confused by this because I literally thought I wasn't a threat to win at all. Johnny I understand, he's the one controlling everyone, he's the one calling the nuTemoana shots, and so if he made it to the end he would win no doubt. But me on the other hand, I haven't exactly done much, like I've tried to make good social bonds with everyone, and been honest with everyone, but yeah other then that I'm kinda confused how I got the majority in that category. Onto another topic though. I never thought I would ever say this, but I'm actually pretty damn excited to go to tribal tonight. I have individual immunity, so basically I 100% made it to single digit placements, which is amazing!! Anyway onto the vote. It's going to go great because Johnny thinks Allie is going home, but in actuality Johnny is going home. I guess I sorta convinced Allie, Lexi, and Ryan to split the votes on Zak and Aro. So the vote should go 4-3-3, if all goes according to plan. I'm really hoping this works bc Johnny wont expect it, and it'll get the biggest threat out of this game. I really like Johnny though so I hope he won't be too mad and that we can be friends once this is all over.