#(I think a/my would have deserved any physical punishment she received but putting the tag anyway)

[herawell]

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[cruelfeline]

All right, friends and neighbors. We are going to engage in an Angry Post, because I am very, very tired of seeing people complain about and question both Catra and Hordak being “forgiven too quickly.” This may be a bit sassier than what you normally expect from me, so it shall be tagged as “discourse” and should be read at your own risk. It’s certainly not aimed at anyone in particular and is more intended towards a general attitude that I’ve seen. That said, I am having many emotions about cartoon characters that must be worked through, so it’s happening. 

So. Let’s start with Catra. Catra, and the idea that Bow and Glimmer and Adora forgave her too quickly. That they should have demanded she pay for her crimes before providing her with affection and acceptance.

I just... here. Let’s. Let’s just. Let’s even forget about all of the trauma she has been through for the entirety of her life. Let’s shelve Shadow Weaver. Let’s ignore that. Yeah? It shouldn’t really be ignored, of course, but for the sake of simplicity. Okay.

Catra just spent who-knows-how-long on Horde Prime’s ship. Catra was just put through a hellish purification ritual, mind-chipped, and used as a vessel against her will. Catra also fell off of what was essentially a cliff, unconscious and limp, and nearly died. Potentially actually died. Whatever. Point is: physical trauma, emotional trauma, mental trauma.

What, exactly, do y’all want to do to this girl that she hasn’t already suffered? Hm? What further pain and discomfort and terror do you demand that she experience before she’s been “punished enough”?

Do you want to isolate her from friendly contact until she fulfills your random Redemption List? Make her eat her meals alone, without nary a friendly face? Leave her to her nightmares without anyone to comfort her? Shall she live with Prime’s voice and Prime’s memory inside her head, unable to reach out to anyone for reassurance and relief?

And for what? Why? What would be the purpose?

Do you think that would help? Do you think that that would help Catra get better faster? Do you think it would be good for her, to be further isolated and shunned and deprived of affection and sympathy and comfort? Is demanding penance prior to providing love really in everyone’s best interest? Is it in Catra’s? 

And now: Hordak. Who apparently also doesn’t deserve any love or care or mercy until he’s paid his dues.

Hordak was born into a cult. An actual, played-totally-straight, honest to the gods cult. He was manufactured in a little tank for the sole purpose of being a body to use and abuse at his god’s whims. He was programmed and indoctrinated to be loyal and devoted to said god on a legitimately disturbing level.

And when his body started to fail, when it became too much to maintain, he was sent away to fight until battle or illness killed him.

Hordak spent decades on a strange planet, with no support system, fighting and striving in the only way he knew how to be worthy of the same god who threw him away to die. He spent those decades dealing with a chronic illness, alone, that caused him pain, shame, and legitimately threatened his life. When he finally had a brief moment of friendship, it was violently taken away from him. When he rejoined his god, he experienced only humiliation and terror before having his identity taken from him. Afterwards, his despair was so great that he subjected himself to purification agony in order to keep his painful memories at bay.

He has suffered chronic physical pain, loneliness, intense fear of failure, and a sense of self-worth so abysmally low that he thought it was a good idea to go back to his narcissistic monster of a creator in order to feel at peace with himself. He suffered all of this while blaming himself for not being strong enough to singularly overcome things no sane person would ever demand someone to overcome on their own.

Yes, he did terrible things. He waged war. He hurt people. But now? He’s done. And now, he needs support and understanding and multiple helping hands to set things right and recover from this.

Or... what? What, those of you who claim he doesn’t deserve the mercy Adora has shown him, is it that he should receive instead?

Should he be physically dealt with? Shall we withhold his life support from him, just enough to ensure he knows he’s being punished? Or, perhaps, should he be isolated again? Left alone to suffer further physical illness and self-loathing without anyone to reach out to for comfort and guidance? Should love and security be denied him until he’s... what? Rebuilt a certain number of cities? Provided a certain number of new technologies? And how should he handle his pain during this time? Should he just suffer the misery of his failures and his fear and his pain in solitude until the arbitrary Penance Quota is fulfilled?

What is the point of denying him these things? Is it actually helpful? Will it help him recover faster? Will it teach him some sort of lesson he’s apparently too stupid to learn without hurting? Will it undo the damage the war has wrought?

Or will it just satisfy some perverse vengeance fetish some people appear to have?

Look here. I don’t mean to say that Catra and Hordak shouldn’t work to help the people they’ve hurt. That’s fine. I don’t mind it. Honestly, I feel like they’ll want to.

What I mean to say is that I don’t see a point or purpose to withholding love and comfort and legitimate help from these two deeply wounded, ailing individuals until they meet some sort of personal redemption standard. I don’t see the point to it. I don’t see the advantage.

All I see is heaping more cruelty and pain onto two people who, damage though they’ve caused, have suffered so terribly and completely that they will likely be dealing with the fallout of their trauma for the rest of their lives.

And I’m tired of it. I’m tired of these takes complaining about Catra and Hordak “getting off easy.” They didn’t get off easy. They suffered. And extending that suffering to fulfill someone’s completely arbitrary sense of “justice” is cruel. And pointless. And entirely against the messages and themes of this show. 

All right. I’m done. I’ve had my hissy fit. Back to less sassy posts.

[bexterbex]

A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 52

Warning, PLEASE CHECK TAGS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU DON’T WANT TO READ THEN DON’T READ. Tag lists are closed

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Will tag as I go along, Will update tags, Slow Burn, Influenced by Star Trek and other Sci-Fi themes, References to We Happy Few, Tons of References and quotes to George Orwells 1984 see if you can find them all, The First Order is the new Big Brother,  but who is really surprised, Blatant Nazi Symbolism, Interrogation Themes, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Really just drawn out Slow Burn, Don’t repost without permission, Torture themes, Suggestive Themes, Execution themes, Disturbing Themes, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Controlling Kylo Ren, Physical Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Possessive Kylo Ren, A character shamelessly based on Zelda

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with some canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

MASTERLIST

Chapter 52: Gossip and Glass

You woke up to the pressure behind your ear and felt a soft pillow of skin move across your cheek and to your lips. “I need to go Kitten, but I promise to let you know if I need you to do anything.” Another kiss to your lips before he disappeared. You were alone for a few minutes before you heard the ring of the doorbell. You groaned but got up to answer it.

Passing by all the broken glass and furniture, you wondered who you would have to talk to get it all cleaned up and fixed. Adlez and Olivia-Rose were the first to enter after you opened the door with a remote that you found on the ground. You yawned as you rested against what was the remains of one of your couches.

Adlez froze as she took in the sight of you, “I thought we fixed you last night. What happened?”

As you got up to lead them into your dressing room you saw the lieutenant’s face at the sight of everything. You felt bad for him, knowing he was the one who would have to place all of the purchase orders and other things to make the living space inhabitable once more.

You entered your dressing room and sat down at your vanity allowing Olivia-Rose to work on your hair. “You did fix me, then I became a mess. And we worked it out for the most part.”

“You didn’t have sex with him did you,” asked Adlez pulling out your outfit for the day.

“No,” you said reassuring her.

“Good,” she said firmly. “This morning we will draw you a bath, I believe you need it after last night.” She then left the dressing room.

“But everything worked out, right,” asked Olivia-Rose.

You smiled at her through the reflection in your vanity mirror. “Yes, for the most part, it did. I think we will be fine for now.” This caused her to smile.

Adlez came back into the room and announced that your bath was ready. You and Olivia-Rose followed her into the bathroom. Both just waiting for you to get in. Even though you had been naked in front of them before when they changed you, this was a bit different.

“There is no need to be embarrassed m’lady. We have already seen you naked. And proudly more times than the Supreme Leader, much to his frustration,” claimed Adlez.

This caused a laugh from you, and it broke the uneasiness. You undressed and climbed into the soothing tub. Adlez had filled the water with various fragrant oils.

“Speaking of that, there is something I have to tell you.” Now you had both women’s utmost attention.

“Go on,” said Adlez as she lathered up a fluffy sponge and started working on your legs. Olivia-Rose was tending to your hair.

“After we made up,” you started.

“And made out,” butted in Olivia-Rose which caused a devilish smirk from Adlez.

“He did his usual of taking a shower to relieve himself of his urges. This time he purposefully left the bathroom door open. Allowing me to hear everything,” heat rising to your face at the memory.

“Mmm I bet the sounds were delicious,” said Adlez, the smirk deepening. You heard a hum of agreement from Olivia-Rose.

“But that isn’t the best part. He came out of the bathroom in only his towel,” if it wasn’t for the hot bath making you already red, you would have flushed with color.

“And that isn’t normal,” asked Adlez rather sarcastically. You could hear her in your mind saying that was a typical man behavior.

“No, it isn’t. But he then changed in our room in front of me, giving me a full show.” That part of the memory was playing on a full loop.

Adlez’s eyes came up to meet yours, her eyes full of curiosity. “How full was it?”

You smirked and responded, “Very full, and of course, being the proper lady I am I averted my gaze but the show wasn’t over. He put on his pants, but he remained commando.”

“Mmm he was a commander,” you heard Adlez comment.

“And then he fully adjusted himself for show.”

“And a show it was,” commented Olivia-Rose.

You turned around to meet her eye, rather shocked but pleased she was opening up, even if it was talking about this.  

“He then had the gall to walk back to the bed and asked if I liked it.” A shiver ran down your spine at the memory of him being so close like that.

“What did you respond,” asked Adlez, you could tell she was on the edge of her seat.

“That I had no idea what he was talking about.” You were sure she would be proud of your response. Holding your ground.

“Good,” said Adlez, turning back to lather up your arm.

“But then he said ‘Well, I guess next time I will have to just do what I was going to do, and crawl into bed naked. After all, do hands have to stay above clothing if there is none?’ Can you believe that?”

“He’s got some nerve, but we’ll do better. Remind me of this when you change for bed. I have got just the trick,” said Adlez now lathering up the rest of your torso.

It felt odd having them wash you, but in a way, it was rather relaxing. Almost massaging away the pain from yesterday. They finished up cleaning you, shaving you, and prompted you to get out. Then they had you sit back down on the edge of the tub while they oiled and lotioned you up. Once they were finished they dressed you and escorted you back to the dressing room to finish your hair and makeup for the morning.

You all walked into the dining room to order breakfast and coffee. Once again speaking about nothing important in particular. You could see the lieutenant was stressed so you ordered him a cup of tea along with his usual cup of coffee. Before you could finish your breakfast your phone pinged with a message from Kylo, ‘The knights will be guarding you from outside the chambers from now on unless you are alone, then they will be inside with you.’

“Well, so far he is keeping his promise,” you said.  

“Praise the Supreme Leader, he can learn,” said Adlez. You looked at her for a moment, questioning her phrases but dropped it as one of her quirks.

The lieutenant seemed a bit thrilled at this piece of information so you decided to ask him about it. “Is this good news lieutenant?”

He nodded rather quickly, “Yes, m’lady. The Knights of Ren are rather unnerving.” You could see him swallow back fear. “And if the Supreme Leader is messaging you things it means he won’t be angry with me if your reaction isn’t good, like when I pass along information.”

“So you're saying you would get in trouble,” you looked at the short brunette man with confusion.  

“Yes Ma’am,” you could see that he was rather uncomfortable with the question like he just got in trouble all over again.

“When was this? I’ve never seen him confront you in front of me.” You racked your brain at all of the possibilities. Not finding any time that Kylo confronted the lieutenant in your presence.

“Well ma’am you may not be required to attend his morning training and debriefing sessions, but I am.” This came as a shock to you. The poor lieutenant had to get up at an awful time just to be berated without you present.

“And this is when he criticizes you for something that is in no way your fault,” you were mad now. He has done nothing wrong, but Kylo doesn’t see it that way, like the man child he is.

“Yes, ma’am.” He still had a look of worry on his face.

“Well, that will have to change. You are my assistant and I should be informed of any ‘punishment’ you should receive, and if you deserve it. And you most certainly have not,” you were learning from Adlez rather quickly that you had a backbone and you were going to use it.

“Yes, ma’am,” said the lieutenant as he started to make notes.

“M’lady we will add it to the list of things the Supreme Leader needs to work on,” said Adlez who nodded to the lieutenant.

“Oh, he royally screwed up by assigning you to me.” with that both of you shared a laugh.

“M’lady there isn’t anything on the agenda this morning. And the technicians should be here soon to fix and clean up the mess. You will have a learning lunch with the general to go over proper meal etiquette and your normal lesson is to follow. And dinner with the Supreme Leader as usual,” said the lieutenant.

“What shall we do with the morning then,” you asked.

“I have an idea,” said Adlez with a sly grin. “But you will have to trust me.”

You were scared by what that meant, but also rather excited. You followed her and Olivia-Rose out of your chambers where you were followed by the lieutenant, Trudgen and Kuruk. You were winding the endlessly large halls of the Supremacy to who knows where, but you were excited.

A/N: The last few chapters have been Beta Read by Ace_Tactician on Ao3. Thanks!

[bookaholic1012]

Beautiful Scars - Luzriel

Summary: When Azriel wakes up from a nightmare, Lucien is there to comfort him and tells Azriel his own stories. In turn, Azriel shares his.

A/N: I am so happy to finally be writing a fic featuring Luzriel! I apologize if my writing isn't at its best. I am working through some Writer's Block at the moment.

TW: Mention of whipping and some burning. The burning is more of a description of what Azriel felt, but be warned!

My Writing

The black void of my cell is all I know. Since I was old enough to be on my own, I have lived in this damned place, the only reprieve being the hour a week when I visit my mother. And the hour a day, but even then it isn’t true freedom; I am watched, guarded, like an animal about to escape its cage. Darkness has become my solace for it is the only way I know I don’t have to endure my half-brothers’ torture.

I hear steps coming. I see flames dancing along the cement walls. I think of making a prayer to the Mother, Cauldron, or both, but it has never worked before, so why bother now?

“Azriel,” a voice - the one belonging to the taller brother - sings, snickers following.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are.” A cruel joke. They know exactly where I am, as I’m always trapped in the cell. Then again, what about them isn’t cruel? Isn’t a joke?

Finally, they appeared. I tried to create distance between myself and the vicious beasts and ended up meeting a wall.

“Relax, Azriel,” The second one speaks now. “We just had a thought and wanted to share it with you.” A ruthless smirk appeared. “We were wondering what would happen if you mixed an Illyrian’s quick healing gifts with oil - and fire.”

“Of course we needed a test subject, and we thought, who better than our father’s bastard child.”

No.

They laughed at the horror and fear written for all to see on my face.

“Hold him.”

The tall one wrenched my hands away from where I was desperately trying to hide them in a futile attempt at avoided their latest sadistic game. I shut my eyes tightly waiting for the scheme to be over.

Maybe it won’t be painful, I tried to reason with myself. Maybe Illyrian healing works.

I felt a greasy liquid coat my hands. I heard the strike of a match, the flames bursting to life.

One of the monsters said something, but I wasn’t paying attention to his words.

Then all I felt was a pain like no other. ‘Pain’ wasn’t even the right word.

I was burning, screaming, and sobbing; wishing and crying for someone to help me.

Get me out of this! Out of this hell, I prayed. Please. Please. Help me.

“Azriel! Azriel! Wake up!” I yelled, trying to wake Azriel’s thrashing body.

He woke up with a gasp, heaving in gulps of air. I quickly got off the bed to open the bedroom windows, offering fresh air before rushing back to his side. I rubbed soothing circles on his lower back, muttering words of comfort. He buried his face in his arms, rocking back and forth.

“What did you dream of?” I whispered minutes laters.

“I…” Az lifted his head, eyes closed. “My hands.”

I paused my soothing strokes for a split second before resuming them. His scarred hands are a sensitive subject and Azriel rarely spoke about the events that led to the markings. We’ve been together for five years and I still didn’t know the story. But I understood. My scarred eye and back are sensitive to me as well. I haven’t said anything about how I received them, though I’m sure Az already knew, seeing as how he is a shadowsinger and spy.

“Do you want to talk about it?” A shake of his head.

For some reason I couldn’t explain, I wanted to share my story. Maybe it was to comfort Azriel in the way only another victim telling their story could.

“May I tell you my story?” I asked. Azriel nodded, curling his hands away from my view.

“As I’m sure you’ve figured out, I don’t have much of a filter. Probably never have, if I’m being honest. I was sent to Amarantha as Tamlin’s emissary to see if some peace treaty could be forged between them. When she refused, I… well, I didn’t take it well to put it kindly. Told her to ‘go back to shit-hole she crawled out of.’ My eye was punishment. She carved it out, then scarred my face.”

“I thought the scar was formed as a result of her taking out your eye,” Azriel whispered, voice hoarse.

“You didn’t know?” I was shocked. I was sure that he knew.

“I only gathered information that would be vital for the court. Sorry,” Azriel winced, “That sounds horrible of me.”

“It’s alright, Az,” I said, placing a kiss on his bare shoulder. “I probably wouldn’t have bothered to figure out the details myself if it happened to anyone else. The only problem is I’m a sucker for the details, no matter how horrid they may be.” Azriel huffed what might’ve been a laugh at that, no doubt remembering the great lengths I have gone to while staying here to find every piece of gossip.

“Anyway, I went back to the Spring Court and Tamlin contacted to Nuan who made me the one I have now. But then Feyre had her trials.” I sucked in a breath and closed my eyes, remembering the feeling of the skin on my back breaking open. Blood gushing down. The agonizing pain. “During her first trial with the Middengard Wyrm, while she was baiting the creature, Feyre lost track of it. I told her that the Wyrm was to her left. Tamlin gave me twenty lashes as punishment.” I opened my eyes, allowing the tears to fall. “He never apologized.”

“Lucien --” Azriel started to say.

“Sorry,” I let out a mirthless chuckle. “I just had an urge to tell you. I guess I just made things worse, huh?”

“No -- I -- I am glad you told me,” finally Az looked up. “I wanted you to tell me, and I’m happy you trust me enough to do so.” He leaned forward slowly, one of his hands coming up to cup my cheek, and placed a soft, sweet kiss on my scar. “I am so sorry you had to suffer through that.”

Those last words provided me with a feeling of solace. A simple sorry wouldn’t suffice from anyone else. But from someone who had any semblance of what I went through… it conveyed an understanding, consolation.

I gently wrapped my arms around Azriel, allowing him time to stop me if he wanted. He accepted the touch and we sat there, me holding him close, and him with his head nestled in the crook of my shoulder.

“Since I was able to be on my own, my sire kept me locked in a cell,” Azriel said softly a while later, cold fury lacing his words. “No windows, no light.”

I was bright, burning rage. I wanted to go to wherever the hell they live and rip them apart, piece by piece, with my bare hands.

“I was eight when it happened.” Once more, Azriel shut his eyes. “They wanted to know what would happen if oil and fire were mixed with the healing gifts of an Illyrian - another sick, twisted game of theirs. Warriors heard my screams. The scars - physically, emotionally, mentally -  remain.”

And nothing could ever completely heal those scars. Of that, I knew. The mark would remain forever, but it can become more bearable.

“That never should’ve happened to you, Az. You are so much better than them. They should have treated you better.”

At last Azriel turned to me, tears shining in his gorgeous hazel eyes, now shining with raw emotion. So rarely did he let his emotions show.

“Thank you, my love,” he whispered. Thanks, not just for the words, but for everything. The adoration he so rightly deserved. The comfort. Everything he has now.

“I love you, scars and all. Because your scars are beautiful,” I told him, cupping his hands in mine, and placing a kiss on them.

"Yours are beautiful too, love," Azriel said.

We shared one last kiss before succumbing to sleep, holding tightly to one another.

We slept through the night.

Please let me know your thoughts!

Tagging: @ourbooksuniverse @the-annabethchase @sugarcoated44 @tyblckthrn @ame233

Send me an ask to be tagged in future writing! 

[megape]

Gifts (Blog Post)

Hi, I haven’t made a blog post in awhile regarding my growth, but that’s because I’ve been in a wishy-washy way of thinking. A lot of decisions are in my life right now, at least it feels like it, and I suppose they tend to overwhelm me. But I’ve been on new meds and I’m super stoked to see if they help out so anyway, regardless of this way of thinking, I’ve been bestowed a new healthier one! It’s like a new pair of glasses!! (Get ready for the sappiness because you guys that I tagged know I love you all to bits and if you don’t it’s about to be obvious.)

There’s a lot to point out for me in this blog post so I’m just going to ramble a bit as always.

First off, my relationship with YHWH hasn’t been the best lately. I dunno, I’ve been distant because of my depression. It got so bad a month or two ago that suicide was all I had thought about. For years I had prayed for a miracle, like They would swoop down and save me from my illness. I think I may have disregarded a lot of what They did for me on a day-to-day basis because I was looking for Them to take the Depression/Anxiety away and not just to help me through it. This put a toll on the relationship. Especially when it got to those suicidal thoughts I was having. I kept asking Them, “Am I suppose to die young? Am I being punished? Do I deserve this? Why am I hurting so much? Where are you?” 

And I remember one night I was crying to Them, specifically Him because I needed a father that night, and I told Him if he couldn’t be there beside me (which was a lie I was telling myself because of course He was right there beside me) that the least He could do was make me laugh. Ironically the next day was Easter so YHWH decided to bust out some dad jokes to make me feel better. He asked me, “What’s a bunny’s favorite way to hop?” And I remember sniffling in confusion as if he was about to tell me the stupidest joke known to man. And he responded, “To the Blitzkrieg hop! Get it? Because bunnies hop and the Blitzkrieg Bop is a song?”

I got a little off tangent, but the point of saying this experience is because that was a miracle. I may not of thought about it as so at the time, but They spoke to me and I let myself hear Them. 

It wasn’t until like two weeks or so ago that my therapist was telling me that maybe They had been sending miracles this entire time and I just never noticed because I was so stuck in my box of depression/anxiety. Which was true because I had more faith that my depression would consume me than that YHWH could save me! 

So she started to ask me the things I had been praying for and ways that They had been providing for those prayers already. I liked the way she worded it too, she called them “gifts.” So I started thinking about things differently and picked out scenarios in my head that were probably gifts from YHWH to help subdue my depression/anxiety.

One of the biggest wishes I’ve had is to not feel lonely. Specifically I kept praying for a romantic partner, but I never stopped to realize that in order to get there I had to have friends to create that from. And regardless of that, They provided me with plenty of friends when I needed it most and I completely disregarded it because it wasn’t a boyfriend or girlfriend. To point out, I sometimes appreciate the way the wind blows and completely forget to appreciate the fact that I had my best friend come down from Canada for over a week. I miss huge things because I get so stuck in the gloom that I look for tiny things too much. They’ve blessed me with some amazing people in my life right now and I never stopped to realize that they’ve been planted in my life as gifts to help with my depression/anxiety. This entire struggle where I ask for all these different prayer requests are being answered in smaller and bigger ways than I’ve cared to notice. I’ve been so stuck in my box that I haven’t gotten the chance to thank them for actually being a part of my healing.

I kept wanting Them to rescue me from my illness, but I forgot that in order to be saved I have to acknowledge and use the tools given to me so that I can be saved! It’s like someone throwing down a rope or giving me a boat or throwing me a float while i’m stuck in water. I kept wanting them to just take me from the water and didn’t realize they were giving me SO many options to get out and I just had to use the tools given to me. Granted, this healing will take time, but that’s why They’ve provided lots of tools and opportunities. 

So in essence of this realization I’m going to list some things off that have made me super happy and were probably gifts that They’ve been handing to me to help myself heal and grow.

-I made a really amazing friend at my old job and he’s been with me through thick and thin at this point. I don’t know what I’d do without him. He’s constantly reassuring me he’ll stay by my side and ilhsm. I don’t know what I’d do with you Chris.

-The friends who kept me going through school. Wow, I don’t think I would have made it without your support and goofy antics.

-Um, I went to Pride last year and that was SO much fun!!!!!!

-I have the opportunity to go to this church that’s nondenominational and they’ve been really accepting and loving. I also might try a universalist church because I feel like I want to go and create a community in order to help push me forward in healing.

-I made a super fucking awesome friend through this cute lil dating app and he’s been like the light of my life lately. Honestly I’ve done so many fun things with him these past couple months and he’s opened my life up to Dungeons and Dragons so that’s pretty radical!!! You may not know it, but you’ve been a really big blessing to my life. I’m glad you’re here on this planet at the same time as me. Sorry about the sappiness, but it’s true. :p

-I have this sweet lil bb of a friend that always checks in on me and sends me cute and funny things despite the fact that I’ve been a distant friend to her. ilysm Snikkers <3

-There’s yet another friend who has been there since practically my childhood who I’ve connected with progressively more as I’ve grown up. She’s amazing and funny and we laugh so much when we’re together. Whether it was webkinz and One Direction or to laughing about boys and sexuality you have been the best, Faith.

-My therapist. <3

-I have a really big imagination and it helps being able to create characters, I guess sort of like imaginary friends, that I can go through it with. Also, my imagination helps me have more faith that YHWH is beside me because I can imagine what it would be like and know that it’s happening. Even though I can’t “see” YHWH holding my hand or dancing in the car with me... I can imagine it and know that that’s exactly what’s going on.. even if my (earthly(?)) eyes can’t witness it yet. 

-I have the raddest and most amazing internet friend in the entire universe. She’s constantly there through thick and thin and wants to help even though I push her away sometimes. She’s been a definite miracle from God because I prayed for her a long time ago and she’s stayed in my life for MANY years now! wow, claps to you my best friend and soul sister

-My parents are the bomb. they’re funny and constantly asking how I’m doing and wanting to help in any way they can. They ask me all the time what they can do if I’m feeling sad and help me when I’m stressed. They’ve come along for a tough journey and I’m glad YHWH gave me parents that handle my issues with love. Though it may be hard at times and we may not see eye-to-eye they have always been there to learn and grow beside me.

-And lastly, all of these people and experiences (plus so many more I didn’t list, but will list below) have fulfilled my love languages in ways I never noticed until now. Like, YHWH has provided me with some pretty wicked people and I never really stopped to say thank you to anyone. 

So thank you:

To my friends @youcant-takemysky @imagine-starco @el-ahrairahthefakeghost @hamilzies @pontmarius and the others who don’t have tumblrs or I didn’t mention here. Here’s to the fun memories and quality time, conversations, words of encouragement, acts of service, physical affection, and gifts along the way. To me you’ve been gifts I couldn’t be more thankful for!

Sorry if this is too sappy for you; I just want everyone to know I love them unconditionally. If you know me, are getting to know me, or are a complete stranger: our interactions together make life worth living. If we can all give love and learn to receive it we can make this world a better place. :) ~

[thecorteztwins]

“X-MEN MUTANT EMPIRE, BOOK THREE:(SALVATION)” PROLOGUE + CHAPTER ONE

@malakhvent @hexiva @muffiewrites @magnetician @superiorvengeance @actually-i-prefer-magneto @taintedhero @magnet-dad Hey there folks! For those new to being tagged in my Mutant Empire reading liveblogs, the “X-Men: Mutant Empire” books are a trilogy written by Christopher Golden in the 1990s. They are novels, not comic books, and the X-novels occupy a very shakey/debated place in canon. That said, they're excellent characterization sources (in my opinion), especially for characters that didn't get much in canon, such as Carmella Unuscione or the Kleinstock brothers. The reason I'm tagging you all, however, is because of the Magneto characterization. He is the main villain of this series, having used a reprogrammed Sentinels to take over Manhattan, along with the help of his Acolytes. He has rechristened Manhattan as “Haven” and invites all mutants to live there, while allowing humans to remain if they agree to live by his new rules under which they are second-class citizens. The X-Men are, of course, trying to intervene, both to stop Magneto himself but also to prevent the US military from deploying their own solutions. Magneto's characterized in these novels more similarly to how he's written today than how he was written in most of the 1990s. For a lot of the 90s, Magneto was, to put it simply, terrible. Like the worst he's been since the Silver Age. As in, literally killed THOUSANDS of innocent civilians. He's not movie fandom Magneto, who only ever hurts very bad people who definitely deserved it, and who usually has no other choice. The Magneto of the 90s is dark as fuck, much like everything else in comics was at the time. However, the Magneto of these books is far more complex, noble, and (by comparison) moderate...while also still not straying from the flaws that make him a villain. It's a little-known, under-rated series, and probably only of interest to Acolytes-loving nerds like me, but I think it's valuable for fans of Magneto who seek to balance his good and bad traits into the most accurate picture possible, so I think it will be of interest to you all even if most of you are writing a movie-based Magneto. So, that's why I tagged you all, I thought you'd find it interesting and enjoyable! This is the THIRD book, so if I haven't tagged you before and you want to catch up, the tag on this blog for it is “mutant empire”! Also, everything in here is opinion, you don’t need to agree with the characterization of Magneto in these books or my analysis thereof, it’s just my own thoughts as I was reading. With that preface out of the way, let's began!

PROLOGUE We begin with Manhattan, which is now called Haven. As a mun who writes the Marvel character called Haven, this keeps making me double-take when people say things like “let's go to Haven” or “you're of no use to Haven”. As a note, I don't think Magneto ever knew about the person Haven (though she is shown to know about him) since he was dead during her period of conflict with X-Factor. Anyway, as for THIS Haven, the subway is down and there's very little traffic, but lots of restaurants and small business are open because they have a fuck ton of new patrons coming in. Mutants are pouring in from across the country, across the world. On the good side, a lot of them doubtlessly need a sanctuary like this. On the bad side, Magneto sees their gathering here as a way to enlarge his Mutant Empire. This is typical of Magneto, if often forgotten by fandom: He wants to save mutantkind as a whole, but the individuals are still means to that end. He did the same thing on Genosha---using the population to form an army---and who can forget his “pawns go first” line in X3? Oh, wait, a lot of people, no one likes X3. 

  But anyway, this is on the first page and I already like the balance going between the aspects of Magneto as savior and villain. Also, I don't think this connection was intended by the text, but I can't help but see an analogue to Xavier here; he offered a home to mutants in need, then trussed up those same vulnerable teenagers as a private paramilitary group. Both these men have good intentions, but they will take advantage of the very people they're trying to save in order to reach that larger goal.

Also: “In less than a day, he had transformed one of the most important cities on Earth so that it conformed to his vision: a planet where mutants were the masters and humans were the servants. It was the only way for mutants to survive human prejudice.” A lot of people will note that Magneto doesn't want to kill all humans, and that's generally true, but the fact is he does frequently still want mutants to be the dominant species. In his early 2D Silver Age days, this was due to just straight-up thinking mutants superior, but in current times (again, this book was really ahead of its time in terms of Magneto) it's more like what he says here, it's to keep mutants safe. Because humans can't hurt them if THEY'RE the ones who are the underdogs instead. As a note, this is the mentality that I write Anne Marie Cortez as having. She looks at history, looks at the horrible things humans have done to each other, at the horrible things done to mutants now, and is like, humankind obviously cannot be trusted to be in charge. She believes that a mutant-dominated society will be better for mutants AND humans. And she doesn't think mutants will be as bad as humans either, because she believes God created mutants not just to be the physical improvement upon the flawed humanity, but a spiritual one as well. She believes that while some mutants are doing “bad things” now due to this imperfect world, they WILL be better than humans are, they CAN be better, once everything is put right (that is, mutants put on top with Magneto leading them) She, uh, she has religious delusions (with Magneto as the modern Christ in this paradigm, obviously >.< Anne Marie no!)

“From the observation platform at the top of the Empire State Building, Magneto looked down upon his Mutant Empire and his heart swelled with triumph, happiness, and pride. The sun forced his slate-grey eyes into a squint, the wind whipped his silver-white hair across his forehead, and Magneto smiled. It was a beginning.” AWWW I ALMOST WANT THE SERIES TO END HERE! Instead, we go to Wolverine and the Beast, whose exchange is irrelevant to the topic of this post (Magneto) and then to Amelia Voght of the Acolytes. Amelia Voght was a past lover of Charles Xavier, but split up with him when he formed the X-Men. She wanted to live a quiet life, and felt that Xavier's means would attract human attention to mutants. Years later, when she had, despite her attempts at a quiet life on her own, lost everything (including her family) to humans, she joined Fabian Cortez among his second-gen Acolytes recruits. Though Fabian is currently dead at the time of this novel, Amelia, like the other Acolytes, now follows Magneto in his stead (and much more happily) Unlike most of the Acolytes, Amelia receives far more complex characterization, and she's not the bloodthirsty sadistic bigot-for-fun that most of them are. She's actually a lot more like Magneto, which might explain why she follows him, despite having her doubts that his way is any more hopeful than that of Xavier. Anyway, now that you know who she is, here's what's going on. She's pretty pleased too, like Magneto. She's also surprised, not that he succeeded but that humans are still in the city. For those who weren't with me for the first two books, Magneto did NOT kick humans out. He said they could leave if they wanted, and stay so long as they accepted his new rules. A lot did leave, but some did stay (I imagine a lot COULDN'T leave, it takes money to be able to move and set up somewhere else ASAP, so there is definitely a class privilege thing going here, which overlaps with race and sexuality/gender. I don't think Magneto intended that, but the reality is that it's the people who are already the most oppressed that don't actually have a choice in whether they go or stay) Amelia is surprised by this, she thought that the island of Manhattan would be devoid of humans once Magneto took over, but reflects that, as I already noted earlier, “But Magneto's intention had always been for mutants to rule humanity, not destroy it. Voght had privately doubted it was possible. On this day, she changed her mind.” Anyway, Voght thinks about how the US government is still on the fence about what they're going to do, but Voght figures that save for a nuclear strike, Magneto and the Acolytes have it “all wrapped up”.

Amelia enters the reception area. There is one woman (the deputy mayor; the mayor himself “abandoned his city without a thought) and three men, one of whom is the police commissioner. Deputy Mayor Perkins is direct and no-nonsense. Amelia takes them all to meet with Mags, but before she does, warns the police commissioner that “As of this day, Magneto is the only law this island knows. He is not in favor of the death penalty, but that does not mean he does not see its uses.” Kinda like on Genosha, when he killed Fabian Cortez and all the good guys are like OMG YOU MURDERED HIM (come on guys, are you really THAT upset?) and Magneto was like “look, I run Genosha, consider this capital punishment, they have that in the USA you know” Magneto is of course “resplendent in his regal purple-and-crimson uniform. Without his helmet he wore during battle, his silver-white hair fell around his shoulders.” Ooooh, we got a long-hair Mags! He doesn't usually have long hair in 616, that's typically an AoA thing. Also RESPLENDENT I love it. Perkins gets right to it with “Why are we here?” and Magneto appreciates that she has little patience for small talk, but invites them to sit all the same, though he remains standing. He says they're here because they're the highest-ranking officials still remaining in the city and “You all need to know how I wish this city to be run, now that I am its sole authority.” So, a moment ago Amelia was surprised at how “amiable” Magneto is being to these people, how “benevolent” he looks, and I think I can say why---because he's won. He's the one giving orders. He can be nice because he's the top dog now. Admittedly, he was never nice to his underlings while running the Brotherhood, and not exactly friendly to the Acolytes either, but that's when, even though he had control of small group of people, he was still fighting against the larger world. Now that he has what he wants, he's willing to be nicer to those below him. Which isn't a compliment, btw; people who are only decent to others when everything is going their way are NOT good people. I think there's also the aspect of responsibility bringing out the best in him too. As cruel as he was to his followers, he was wonderful to the New Mutants when he was their teacher. Partly I think that's because they were children, but also because they were HIS children, tasked to HIM by Xavier. They were his responsibility in a way that the Brotherhood and Acolytes are not. His job wasn't to lead them, but to take care of them. Likewise, he's going to be taking care of this city, even if he'll also be taking some of its members for his own personal army. So I can see him being more benevolent here, even if only in the sense of a benevolent dictator (which he's very clear is the case, he says so himself he's the “sole authority” from now on) I guess I'm reading a lot into it, it's only two seconds of him being friendly and polite, but once my brain started going on it I couldn't stop. 

  Anyway, he restates that Haven/Manhattan is now “a class system, with all mutants as the nobility, or ruling class” and basically dictates Perkins as in charge of managing the remaining human population “answerable, of course, to me” and that she can appoint the others to any positions she sees fit to help her. He wants no more drugs, no more violent crime, no more corruption, that he wants all of the problems Manhattan had before his rule to be cleaned up. Perkins argues that corruption is inevitable in any system (I would say ESPECIALLY in this system, if the Acolytes are apparently gonna be “nobility”) Magneto counters that the corrupt are cowardly, thus they have already fled Haven, so logic dictates that there's no more corruption and he won't tolerate any. ...Magneto, your logic is not our Earth logic. Alas, this is pretty typical Magneto, he doesn't always, erm, make sense. Th police commissioner, Ramos, says he's not going to be Magneto's lapdog, that he's only going to enforce ACTUAL laws and that the police are NOT going to become Magneto's personal army. Mags smiles, tells him that he already has a private army, that he doesn't need the police “and I most certainly don't need you.” He then raises one hand in a gesture of “amusement and dismissal” and says, “Amelia, would you mind?” Amelia, for those who forgot or are just joining us, is a teleporter. She sends Ramos outside the building. She then thinks about how she could have teleported him high in the air outside and let him fall to his death, how she is “not a hardened killer, but she knew the value of an example. Still, Magneto would have been specific if he'd wanted the man dead. Her lord rarely sanctioned homicide. Much to the other Acolytes disappointment. A few things: 1) For those wondering about the “her lord” bit, that's not unique to her, all the Acolytes consider him to be their Lord. The big difference between the Acolytes and the Brotherhood is that the Acolytes revere Magneto in a RELIGIOUS sense (which I've built on especially with Anne Marie, while giving Chrome and Delgado different motives, I wanted some diversity of motivation in my crew) They even have a Book of Magnus (which I am pretty sure Fabian wrote, not Magneto) I shit you not 2) “Much to the other Acolytes disappointment” As I've said again and again, the Acolytes members that came after the first team are largely terrible people who just wanna kill all the “flatscans” they can. I wonder if they miss the days when Fabian let them go after hospices and school buses? Yes, really. Fabian did not keep a leash on those guys, he ENCOURAGED them to be bloodthirsty anti-human fucks. You could interpret that as anti-human bigotry on his part, I interpret it on using their rage and sadism to keep them happy and make them easier for him to control 3) Amelia, the hell do you mean you're not a hardened killer? You “made an example” EXACTLY like that in the previous books! Granted, said example was done because humans were threatening/attacking her, so it wasn't in cold blood like it would be here, but still, this is something she has JUST RECENTLY DONE 

  Magneto continues to those remaining that the Acolytes will enforce the law on the mutant population, the human police on the human. He wants Haven to be an example to the rest of the world---no drugs, full employment, a fair wage, no crime, no homelessness, no hunger. Oh Magneto, you're making Anne Marie's dreams come true. Or trying, anyway, but what's that quote about the road to hell? This is interesting though, because we're getting a glimpse of something we didn't with Genosha (at least in what I've read)---how Magneto would run things (or at least, his ideals/goals) when he's in charge. Oh, and the reason he wants Haven to be an example? “So society knows what to expect when we begin our expansion.” So, here's my question to that...Magneto is happy to let humans leave if they don't like his rules...but if he plans to expand...what happens if (as is probably his goal) he takes over the world? Where do they go then?

Magneto's last word to this lot are that “Bigotry will not be tolerated. Bigots are to be deal with most---harshly.” Amelia, like most people in the comics, knows Magneto's personal history as a Holocaust survivor (it's been presented on trial before) so she knows where this is coming from. But she wonders what would happen if she pointed out how a lot of the Acolytes are “rabid bigots” themselves, and she doubts he'll have them dealt with as harshly “but a woman could dream” (Amelia doesn't like Carmella or the Kleinstock brothers, the specific bigots she was thinking of) Now, I realize the kneejerk response here is to point out that hating the people who oppress you is not the same as bigotry, but trust me guys, she's RIGHT in this case. She is really, really right, like I cannot stress to you what a bunch of genocidal eugenicist assholes these people are. As in, they wanted to kill CHILDREN for being human. Carmella even wanted to kill a MUTANT child because he had Down Syndrome! Unlike real-life minorities, mutants not only have the power to be “reverse bigots” they actually even have a leg to stand on to “justify it” it in terms of “genetic superiority” and believe me, THE SECOND-GEN ACOLYTES USE THAT LEG. A LOT. ...also frankly, I don't think much of Amelia for being one of the “good Acolytes” because that means she's still fucking hanging out with these assholes even though she KNOWS better. You don't get points with me for being more moral than your teammates if that “morality” only amounts to “not joining in the worse stuff they do” rather than any actual opposition and/or leaving the team. And the same to Magneto for employing them, even if he tries to keep a tighter leash than Fabian did. So, the prologue ends there. The first chapter follows, and it doesn't feature Magneto at all, but it has some bits that are very, very relevant to current issues (sadly) so I thought I'd include it too since said bits are brief. CHAPTER ONE The X-Men are meeting with government liaisons Val Cooper (pro-mutant, ally, knows Xavier is their leader) and Henry Gyrich (anti-mutant, doesn't know Xavier secretly leads the X-Men but is the first villain I've seen with the sense to suspect it) discussing what to do about the Haven situation. We are told, as in last chapter, that mutants are pouring into Manhattan/Haven. We learn that the army is trying to keep them out, and that any mutants who enter are considered terrorists. So, we've got an oppressed population, many of which are likely refugees with no place better to go, coming to a place that has opened its doors to them...but the government has decided they're terrorists and is trying to keep them out. That sounds a little familiar. I understand the logic, that any mutant in Haven could potentially join Magneto's army, but “potentially” and “actually” are different things. After all, any refugee could “potentially” be a terrorist too, right?   Anyway, blah blah blah, Gyrich is a bad guy, then he tells Gambit “You're in America, speak English” and COME ON I doubt I need to spell out the significance of that. And given that it's coming from Gyrich, there's no way it's not MEANT to be significant.

This was written in 1997, you guys.

Okay, so chapter ends, basically the X-Men have seven hours to go into Manhattan and fix this or else Gyrich is going to have the island nuked and the press will claim that it wasn't the President that did it but the result of Magneto's own terrorist plot backfiring on him with catastrophic results. Because Gyrich is a bastard despite having gotten some neat character insight in the previous books . The X-Men are fucking horrified and Rogue even says “Maybe Magneto has the right idea” but since it's now six hours and forty nine minutes everyone decides they'd better bet going instead of chewing him out, and the chapter ends there. I've got to hand it to Golden, he's doing a really good job with this. Not just with Magneto characterization, but this whole set-up in general. There's a lot wrong with what Magneto is doing, and yet the good aspects are such that it's hard not to just forget the bad and root for him, at least for me. Especially since the human government is, well, Gyrich. But also good folks like Val Cooper. And as linked, we get some depth even to Gyrich. In short, Golden is really, really good at making a multi-sided conflict with multi-sided characters and challenging the reader on who to root for. At least that's my opinion. Stay tuned, folks! ALSO ONE MORE THING! I have a big question---where is Exodus? We know he's here, the first book began with him and Magneto (and Magneto thinking about him as a big purple butterfly, which I loved) But he really hasn't been seen since then, and with no explanation given as to why. This is actually pretty common, Exodus just not being in the picture for whatever reason, because he's so stupid OP that when combined with Magneto, it's pretty much game over for anyone in their way. So writers are always having to find a way to either separate them or put on of them out of commission (it's usually a coma) But here, there's no REASON thus far given for Exy's absence, he's just...not there. Even though he was earlier.  So I'm thinking/hoping that maybe in this book we get a good in-universe reason for that, rather than him just poofing because Golden realized that he'd just fucking wipe everybody out in the first book if he was around.

[ronyxfic]

Educating the Victim - Act V, Chapter II

Pairing: Lapis/Jasper, hints of Lapis/Peridot, Yellow Diamond/Pearl (but not really)

Rating: Teens and up

Warnings/Tags: threats, manipulation, unhealthy relationship.

Read it on AO3!

Educating the Victim Masterpost

(Previous chapter) (Next chapter)

CHAPTER 2: Tense

Claire Diment, Marigold had been told, was distantly related to her.

It must have been very distantly, because Claire was about as white as they got, whereas Marigold’s entire family was… not.

Nevertheless, when Marigold met Claire at a family gathering, it left a lasting impression on her. Marigold was fourteen; Claire was in her late twenties, and Marigold was inexplicably drawn to her.

She had French roots, and would say her last name with a drawn out nasal vowel. She was far too regal-looking to just be called ‘pretty’; in truth, she was stunning, with silvery-blonde hair, fine features and eyes that looked like steel. She was confident, successful, and had an air of notoriety about her. Marigold’s parents had told her that Claire was far too successful for an unwed woman, and would need to get married to a decent man to straighten her out soon.

When Marigold talked to Claire, Claire told her she had no intention of getting married.

Marigold was drawn to it. Was drawn to the unapologetic independence. Was drawn to how for some reason, most of the family seemed to avoid Claire. Was drawn to how Claire treated her, the shy teenage girl, like an equal from the start.

They remained pen pals for very long after that.

--

Pearl had a free period last. Amy didn't. It was the first time that day she'd been left alone, and she was looking forward to spending the last period catching up on her physics. She needed to fetch the textbook from her locker, however, and found her way into the now empty corridor. Everyone else was at their lessons, after all.

After her talk with Aurora, Principal Diamond was wandering the corridors, a little lost, a little unsure what to do. Her conversation with Aurora kept replaying in her head. What had she done to deserve this? Aurora had always been so loyal.

She needed to find a way to punish her severely.

And she took it as a sign, a gift from God, that just in that moment she spied Aurora's sister, Pearl, at the end of the corridor.

Pearl.

Who had been in hospital over Christmas. Who had mutilated Aurora's beautiful face. Who had taken so much of Aurora's attention.

Marigold Diamond was a smart woman. Pearl had been in hospital for an eating disorder. Indeed, she looked like she'd put on quite a bit of weight. Aurora had been the one to put her in hospital. Pearl and Aurora were likely not very happy with each other right now.

Diamond could use that to her advantage.

She turned up her nose and gazed down at Pearl.

"My, my," she said. "Look who it is! Your time in hospital doesn't seem to have done you any favours." She eyed Pearl up and down none-too-subtly, gaze lingering at her slightly chubbier cheeks, her slightly larger torso. Pearl was still thin, but the difference to before Christmas was noticeable.

Pearl blinked, turning backwards in her usual motion. But her leg hadn't recovered enough to support her, and she stumbled back. "Principal?" The comment stung. She suddenly felt every creeping fear about her body image return.

Diamond watched with satisfaction as Pearl stumbled and looked up at her. Was that fear she saw? Self-consciousness? Good.

"Do you have a moment?" she asked, her tone making very clear that saying no was not an option. "I wish to discuss your academic progress with you."

Pearl finally steadied herself, her insides giddy. She was an exemplary student, her academic record unharmed. No detentions. The only time she'd ever seen the Principal in this attention and proximity was after being congratulated for good performance at dance shows. "I-I had plans to study right now, but I could..."

Diamond narrowed her eyes.

Did Pearl dare to defy her?

"Those can wait," she said sharply. "This is a matter of utmost importance. Come to my office with me."

Pearl swallowed and came by her, at this angle near perfectly resting her hands in the very same way Aurora would when she stood at the Principal's attention.

Diamond did not fail to notice that. It fanned the burning anger in her belly.

She turned and walked towards her office, taking large steps and heeding no mind to Pearl and her injured leg. She would keep up. It was her duty.

Diamond stepped into the front room. Aurora was still there. Diamond paid her no heed, but still watched carefully.

Aurora looked up as Diamond entered the room. Looked down. Then looked up again when another person entered after her.

She turned pale.

"Pearl!" she said. "What are you doing here?"

Pearl swallowed and opened her mouth. And then closed it. Giving the Principal a look and then Aurora. Her words came out more bitter than ever intended. "The Principal wants to talk to me."

"I have to discuss your sister's academic performance with her, Aurora," the Principal added. "It is, strictly speaking, none of your business." If Aurora wanted to keep her out, then Diamond could repay her in kind.

Aurora's heart went ice cold. This did not bode well. She wanted to do something, anything, to protect Pearl - but Pearl wouldn't let her. Not after everything that had happened. And... and she couldn't even warn her.

"Okay then." She wanted to scream.

Pearl was somewhat smug for a moment until she read genuine fear on Aurora's face. She'd expected her sister to be upset or angry but... she caught her own comment before she could stop it. "At least someone can tell personal boundaries."

Boundaries, huh? Diamond did her best to hide her smirk. Her suspicions were confirmed. She read Aurora's face easily. Pearl was similar enough to Aurora to be easy as well. This would be fun.

She put her hand on Pearl's shoulder. "Come on then, Pearl," she said, motioning to her office door.

Aurora watched them, terror in her eyes and terror in her heart. Pearl's offhand comment hit her harder than a punch in the face. "Pearl..." She stopped herself. There was absolutely nothing she could say to Pearl that would make this any better.

Pearl audibly gasped and flushed at the touch. It was unexpected and warm. Marigold's hands were big and pretty and manicured and she smelt of chanel. She looked around the office, the vast amounts of oak and several rosaries pasted around. She stood, wondering if she was going to have to sit for this.

"Sit." As if Marigold had read her thoughts. She squeezed Pearl's shoulder one last time before closing the office door firmly behind her. There was no way she would let Aurora hear what was about to happen.

She then went around her desk and sat opposite Pearl.

"Trouble with your sister?" she asked. It was more of a rhetorical question. But Pearl's answer would be interesting nonetheless.

The blush didn't fade as she carefully sat down. Still feeling Marigold's hold even after she had let Pearl go. "You have no idea." Maybe she could disclose to the Principal. "She gave me hell over the past year."

"Is that so?" Marigold folded her hands. "She always speaks very fondly of you. But if you wish, I can tell her to leave you alone. She won't like it, but I have to prioritise the needs of my students." She examined Pearl's face. She'd seen that look before. It was so very similar to the way Aurora had looked at her constantly five years ago.

It must run in the family. Disgusting. But she could probably use it to her advantage.

Pearl's face lit. "You could do that?" That could attend to so many of her problems with Aurora. "Oh, Principal, that would be wonderful. I appreciate having someone on my side."

Marigold smiled, although not for the reasons that Pearl probably thought.

Oh, this would make things so much easier for her.

She briefly thought about the fact that Pearl was nineteen - the same age Aurora had been when she'd started working for her. Marigold could see the same wide-eyed naiveté and enthusiasm in Pearl that had once enticed her about Aurora.

Dangerous. But Marigold knew better now. She could exploit Pearl's weakness without falling herself.

"Of course I can. She's my subordinate and you are my student. I am entrusted with your safety and she has to do as I say."

And there it was. One of the biggest things Pearl had always fallen for.

Power.

She allowed a delighted, near flirty giggle. "Oh, Principal. I am in awe, who would've known talking to you could have fixed a mountain of my home life issues?" Pearl played with one of the longer strands of hair that framed her face. "But yes, the academics. How may I help you, Principal?"

"Well, Pearl." Diamond pulled up a log of Pearl's academic performances on her screen. "You're certainly one of the more high-performing students in this school. Your grades are excellent. Though... your attendance in some classes could be better." She narrowed her eyes. "But really, I just wanted to make sure that you still feel capable of handling everything after missing several weeks of school due to your... unplanned visit to hospital."

Pearl lit up at the praise, and actually managed to stow away the anxieties about her absences. She knew she was a serial skiver and had accepted it several weeks into term. However, the mention of her time inside visibly ruffled a few feathers. "I think I'll be fine, I received hours of specialist support and they tried their best to prep me for going back in." And Rose. The thought of seeing Rose again on a daily basis made her heart beat. She actually wanted to be there. "But I appreciate the effort nonetheless!"

"Hm. If you say so. But surely you won't mind if I check in with you now and then?" Marigold watched Pearl closely. She was... even more eager to please than Aurora. Something which until recently, Marigold had barely believed possible.

"Just so I can make sure you really are receiving the support you need," she added pleasantly.

"Oh, absolutely." Pearl sat forward with piqued interest, glancing up at Marigold's eyes for the first time. Had they always been that colour, so glaringly yellow that she nearly struggled with tearing away? She looked to her neat diary, pulling it out. "Would there be any dates in mind you'd prefer, Principal Diamond?"

"Oh!" Pearl was eager, that much was clear. Diamond smiled. "Would weekly meetings be adequate? When are you free?"

"Weekly? But, you're the Principal! You'd really grace me with your presence on that kind of basis?" Pearl brought her hand to her face in little exagerration. But her tone suggested she wasn't being sarcastic. "I guess this time is good." It coincided with none of her time with Rose. "I just have a study period anyway, and I'm more than happy to catch up with any work I don't do at some other point."

"Then it's settled. You'll come here at this time every week, and I'll get Aurora off your back. A shame, really," she said softly, "she really thinks she loves you, you know? But it can't be helped."

Pearl stopped for a minute. Of course, Aurora must have told her. Ugh. "It's embarrassing." She frowned. "But... I guess I did mess things up before Christmas." Her face, for one.

Diamond held Pearl's gaze.

Oh, yes. Mess up things she did. Very much so. Diamond was not going to forget the fact that it was most likely due to Pearl that Aurora wasn't... hers anymore.

"That's no excuse for treating you like this," she said nevertheless, her voice soothing and calm.

It was the perfect setup. She could punish them both in one move.

Pearl could only smile at the validation. "That's true. She started asking me to do things I didn't want to. She weighed me without my consent. Even when I told her I didn't. And then she started dragging me and choked me in the car and... you know, I was planning on trying to forgive her. But I don't think I can. Not when she got so violent." Pearl decided to shut up the quiet voice inside of her head telling her she'd been equally as violent.

"Truly unforgiveable." It wasn't. Even Marigold knew that drastic measures were necessary when dealing with mentally ill people sometimes. And Aurora had talked to her about Pearl more than once. From the way Aurora had told it, she was the only one who ever looked after Pearl and made sure she was doing okay.

"What about your parents?" A sensitive topic. She knew, because Aurora had told her. Aurora had told her many things.

"Just the usual. It's like I was never gone." Pearl gave a small shrug. "To be honest, I'm okay with that. I don't want me coming back to be a big deal."

"Hmm." That had not worked as well as she'd hoped. Her parents' neglect was apparently not as sensitive a topic as Aurora told it. Maybe it was more sensitive for Aurora than it was for Pearl.

"You are dismissed," she said. "Unless there is anything else you wish to disclose?" Like her relationship with a certain teacher. Maybe Diamond could manipulate Pearl into giving her damning evidence against Quartz.

Pearl attempted a smile. So much she could tell. "I think I'll be alright. Nothing much of importance really happened."

"If you say so." Diamond gave her a smile, mysterious enough to be enticing, open enough to be reassuring. "My door is always open for you, Pearl."

Pearl got up to leave, nodding. "Thank you, Principal. I assure you I appreciate your efforts."

That's more than your sister, lately, Diamond thought.

"Have a good afternoon. No need to close the door." That way, she could hear any interaction between Pearl and Aurora.

She watched Pearl as she left, deep in thought already.

This could prove very, very interesting indeed.

Pearl left, somewhat pleased. She opened the door to find Aurora and her smile instantly dropped. Not this again.

Aurora looked up when the Principal's door opened and Pearl stepped out.

She was... smiling? Her smile faded when she saw Aurora. Aurora instantly felt guilty.

"Pearl," she said.

"It wasn't enough you had to bother me at hospital, you have to exist here, too?" Pearl quirked a brow, not even bothering to look at her sister.

Aurora was visibly upset. She clenched her fists.

"When will you understand that I'm just bothering you because I actually care about you!" she hissed. She didn't want Marigold to hear. She was well aware that Marigold had left the door to her office open so she could overhear, and didn't want to give her any more ammunition.

Except she'd given her plenty of ammunition in the past five years. Internally, she was screaming.

"Oh yeah?" Pearl sniffed. "You care. You cared about me all the way to hospital. You cared about me so much when you throttled me until I passed out. Listen, Aurora. I have someone on my side now, so you'd better step off, alright?"

Aurora turned deadly pale.

Marigold was listening. And somehow, she'd convinced Pearl that she was on her side.

Thoughts raced through her head at an alarming speed. She could follow Marigold's train of thought all too well. Hell, she'd slept with that woman for five years. Pearl was younger, prettier, and more obedient than Aurora, and she was the perfect means of getting back at her for leaving Marigold.

And there was nothing Aurora could do to stop this.

"Be careful, please." That was all she could muster. She kept her voice down, hoping Marigold hadn't heard.

"Of what?" Pearl snapped. "Of telling her too much and you losing your job? Alright. Just another way of getting you out of my hair."

Aurora avoided Pearl's eyes.

Pearl would never listen to her. If she could talk to Amy... but then Pearl would accuse her of manipulating her friend again.

There was no way she could win.

Pearl took Aurora's silence as victory and began to walk out of the office area without a goodbye. Aurora, in her mind, deserved it. All of it.

Marigold waited a good minute after Pearl had left, then she got up and made her way to Aurora's desk, looming over her.

"So I just had a very interesting conversation with your sister," she said calmly. Her eyes flashing dangerously. Her vicious heart delighting in what she was about to do.

Aurora forced herself to keep it together. "I noticed. I hope it was over professional and appropriate matters."

"Oh, absolutely. She is my student, after all. I would never conduct myself inappropriately with a student, unlike some." Quartz still needed her due, she remembered. "Pearl told me a few things, though. I have reason to believe you've been harassing her, and as my subordinate, I'm ordering you to leave her alone. Is that understood, Aurora?"

Aurora was gobsmacked. Harassment? What? Her mouth opened a little. Pearl... couldn't have... she frowned. Well. She'd have reason to, but... "Y-yes, Principal Diamond."

"Excellent." She cast an arrogant smile. "I've arranged weekly meetings with her to check on her progress, so don't you go violating that agreement, hm? I'll know if you do."

Aurora forced a fearful nod. She couldn't be scared. She couldn't. "That's unusual for you. You don't usually care for student welfare."

"I also don't usually have students in hospital for weeks for mental health issues. Don't you think I should be concerned? And Pearl is such a good girl. It would be a shame to have her fail her classes, don't you think?" She knew Aurora would get the message.

Aurora read between the lines. She was using Pearl, obviously. But she had to give Marigold credit. This plot was under a well wrapped disguise. "I see."

Message received. Marigold smiled smugly. "Good. Now, if you don't mind, I'll go back to work." She turned on her heel and all but slammed the door shut behind her.

--

Peridot Spearmint wasn't having the best of days. In fact, the entire year so far (approximately two weeks of it) had been sub par. She'd given up trying to attain respect from her pupils, which was hard enough when very few of them actually cared enough about physics to pay attention.

She settled down in the staff room. At least lunch would help her cope. She always prepared it meticulously in the morning, crustless sandwiches and a stimming pot of lime green jelly.

She blinked as she pulled into her pocket and instead of immediately finding a key, found a slip of paper. Oh yes, the note she'd apprehended from Pearl. She sighed. Pearl was a good student and usually didn't misbehave at all. Such a shame to have to call her out.

She dragged her lunch to a deserted table and looked about, quickly checking her tablet only to realise she hadn't actually read the note. The thought of leaving her student her privacy crossed her mind. It hadn't been intended for her at all.

Lapis Lazuli came in a little bit later.

Class was draining today. Lunch would hopefully lift her spirits a little.

And indeed, the moment she came in she saw little Peridot sitting by herself, eating her lunch.

Lapis got hers out and sauntered over, a small smirk on her lips. She didn't ask before joining Peridot at her table.

She narrowed her eyes as she spotted a folded piece of paper. It wasn't like Peridot to have paper with her.

"What's that?" she asked bluntly.

Peridot nearly jumped out of her seat, too wrapped up in thought to realise Lapis' presence. She frowned. "Good afternoon to you, too, Lazuli." She attempted to hide the paper. "Just usual clutter." She hoped Lapis wouldn't call her out on the fact that absolutely everything she had (including homework) was electrically managed.

Lapis leaned back, watching Peridot closely. "Nah," she said, "I meant the piece of paper you're currently trying to hide. What is it?"

Peridot swallowed. She wasn't a good liar. Anything outside of the realms of sense and fact happened to often be beyond her. She tapped on the table, nervously. "Just something I confiscated from one of my sixth formers. I haven't even looked at it."

If Peridot was trying to get Lapis off her back, that was entirely the wrong thing to say. Her eyes lit up. "Oh, that's exciting! And you haven't even looked at it? Aren't you at least curious? Here, let me have a look." She held out her hand.

Peridot blushed. She wanted Lapis to stop prying, but she also didn't exactly want her to leave. It was pleasant to have a little company, even if it was pushy and annoying. "Fine." She handed it over. "It's probably something stupid, anyway."

"Even if it is, stupid things are funny." Lapis took the piece of paper and unfolded it.

Read the words. Her eyes widened.

"Oh, fuck."

Peridot quirked a brow, "What is it?" Nothing ever seemed to phase Lapis, not even when her shenanigans caused Peridot to break into tantrums.

Lapis held out her hand, showing the paper to Peridot. "It's not exactly... stupid," she said.

Peridot's eyes scanned the page and she adjusted her glasses as her jaw dropped. "W-whoah! She wouldn't... that's got to be a joke or something... Pearl isn't..." She swallowed. "It can't be serious. Let's just throw this away and pretend we didn't see it."

For a moment, Lapis considered lying. She could; Peridot wouldn't even realise. Peridot, bless her, was likely entirely unaware of the tensions between Pearl and Quartz. How close they had gotten. And the fact that this note was most likely very much serious.

But Peridot also deserved better than being lied to. "I'm pretty sure it's serious. But we don't need to do anything with this information. It's not proving anything."

Peridot's look of absolute puzzlement was almost akin to a child being told that Santa wasn't real. "But... serious? How could..." She then paused, a little flustered. "Shouldn't we take it up with someone?"

"Absolutely not." It was out of the question. "Like I said, it doesn't prove anything. And can you imagine how Diamond would react if she got a hold of this? No, we need to keep this under wraps. I'm not the greatest fan of Quartz but she doesn't deserve the kind of hell Diamond would unleash if she found out."

"She shouldn't be hypothetically kissing students, should she?" Peridot gave a huff. A little pang of what seemed to be almost envy in her voice.

"As long as they're not having sex it's not exactly illegal." Lapis shrugged. "If anyone asks, it's just a student bragging about something she made up. Which could still very well be the case."

"Why would someone lie about being kissed? I mean, I've never been and I wouldn't just... make things up."

"It's just how teenagers are," Lapis said. She fixated Peridot with dark eyes. She'd never been kissed? That was surprising. Well... maybe not too surprising. Definitely adorable, though. Lapis thought to herself that she would rather like to fix that.

Peridot crossed her arms. "It wasn't the way I was. I don't get the point of lying. Or... how to really do it for that matter."

Lapis almost smiled.

"Well, you're special, Peri," she said. Was that fondness in her voice?

Peridot almost flinched at that. "I need to go. I, uh, have things to plan."

"If you say so. Was nice hanging out with you, though, Peri." Lapis was still holding the note, now concealed in the palm of her hand. Interesting. Very interesting indeed. Maybe she should take this to Quartz.

Peridot completely disregarded the paper as she rushed her lunch away and stepped out into the staff bathroom. Her brain overwhelmed, flustered and loud. Everything felt like it was made of sound. Hot and claustrophobic. She turned on one of the taps and let her hands run under it. Perhaps focusing on the water would help her sensory overload. At least she was alone here. She enjoyed her seclusion, too.

Jasper was late to lunch - the sixth graders had just left without tidying the gym, so she'd been busy. She made her way to the staff bathroom to wash her hands. It was empty except for Peridot. "Hi, Peridot," Jasper said absent-mindedly.

Peridot nearly jumped as she came in. She attempted to hide the fact that she was a mess. "H-Hey there." She hoped Jasper didn't catch that tremor. They'd barely spoken at all outside of their staff meetings.

Jasper soaped up her hands, rubbing them vigorously. Only twenty minutes to the next class. "You seen Lapis around?" she asked Peridot. Because Lapis had Jasper's lunch, and if Jasper wasn't around, Lapis would bother Peridot. She had long stopped trying to hide the fact that she had a crush on her, much to Jasper's mild annoyance, jealousy and occasionally amusement.

"Yes." She swallowed. Peridot knew of Jasper and Lapis' acquaintanceship. It was the subject of her envy sometimes. She watched them from afar a lot. Gazing at their interactions from the corner of her eye. She longed for such companionship. "She's just in the staffroom. I just left." She fixed her glasses and brought her hands below the tap once more. Hoping Jasper wouldn't question it, as she clearly wasn't washing her hands.

Ah. So Lapis was around. Good.

Jasper looked up at Peridot to thank her and noticed immediately something was off.

"You alright?" she asked. "Did she bother you? I know she does that sometimes."

"Oh?" Peridot hadn't expected Jasper to jump to the right answer at once. "I just get overwhelmed easily." Well, it was the partial truth. She just hadn't reacted well to Lapis referring to her as... "It's nothing I can't cope with."

"If you're sure. But I can tell her off, if you want. Tell her to leave you alone?" In truth, Jasper kind of wanted a reason to do just that. She didn't like the way Lapis was treating Peridot. For a number of reasons.

Peridot swallowed. "That would... actually be appreciated. A lot. Thank you." She glanced up to the coach, who stood a good couple of feet taller than her. Jasper had the power to control Lapis? It would... it had the possibility to make things easier.

Jasper smirked. It would probably look like a smile to Peridot. "Alright. I can do that. You let me know if she gives you any more trouble, alright?" She dried her hands with the paper towels and turned to leave.

She nodded, feeling herself calm a little at the reassurance. "Wow, thanks!" A tiny forced smile. "I really appreciate it."

Jasper gave her one last look over her shoulder. Nodded gravely, then left to find Lapis and her lunch.

Who she found easily. Like Peridot had said, she was in the staff room. Jasper joined her at the table, taking the very seat Peridot had occupied a few minutes ago.

"So you've been bothering poor Spearmint again, have you?" she said.

"Only the usual witty banter." Lapis rolled her eyes. "And how's everyone's favourite Coach this afternoon?"

"Doesn't seem like it's just witty banter to her," Jasper said. "She said I should tell you to leave her alone. Do you have my lunch?"

Lapis frowned, but pulled out a container with pesto pasta salad and pushed it to Jasper alongside a bottle of isotonic sports drink. "Bullshit. I didn't even say anything mean today."

Jasper grabbed the food and took a large gulp of her drink before digging into her lunch.

"Would it kill you to leave her alone?" she asked in between bites. "She doesn't like it. I don't like it. You're just being petty and cruel."

"I'm just teasing her because I think she's cute and shy and if I don't, then no one ever talks to her." Lapis rolled her eyes. "Have a protein bar and calm down, it's nothing serious."

Jasper imitated Lapis's eye-rolling motion. "Yeah, I wouldn't expect you to understand that some people's brains work differently to yours." She checked the clock: she had fifteen minutes. The pasta salad was almost gone.

"Oh, please," Lapis huffed. "Not everyone is a PTSD-ridden, uptight dumbass like you. Some people can actually take a joke."

"Oh yeah, and it's all definitely a joke to her," Jasper said, her voice low. Dangerous. "That's why I found her hiding in the toilets and that's why she looked really relieved when I told her I'd tell you off for her. Cus it's all just a joke."

Lapis drew back. Alarmed by Jasper's tone and words. "Hey, now. The only thing I said was that she was special. Maybe she just enjoys spending time in bathrooms? It's just like you, except the opposite. You know. Hygienic."

"Not funny." Jasper sighed. "Just leave her alone, alright?"

"Alright." Lapis softly brought her hand to Jasper's thigh underneath the table. "I'm all yours, anyway. Happy?"

"Yeah." Jasper gave her a small smile. "Let's just keep it that way, okay?"

"Jeez, whatever. Sure." Lapis rolled her eyes, once more. Rubbing at the thigh a little. She felt her scratches still present. "Anything you want for dinner? Except me. That's always on the menu."

Jasper's thighs were sore, but she didn't let Lapis see that when she rubbed her scratches. Lapis was trying to bait her. Jasper wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.

"Don't care. Just whatever. I don't even know why you ask." The answer was always the same.

"Because I'll make sushi. And you don't like sushi. And then I'll eat all of it and get fat."

Jasper rolled her eyes. "Anything but sushi, then. That's an easy enough thing to do, right?"

"But all we have at home that needs eating is steak and you always smell bad when you eat steak."

"Not my problem." Jasper finished off the pasta and drank some more of her energy drink. "You always find something wrong with any food we have, so just toughen up and deal with it. I don't care."

"Ughh. You never care, you brute." Lapis reached for the container. "Sometimes I really wish I actually had a partner who considered my feelings."

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "You have feelings for me to consider? News to me." She shrugged. "And anyway, birds of a feather and all that."

Lapis gave an annoyed grunt. "You bitch! You only ever think about yourself. You know what? Fuck it. I'm not going home with you tonight."

"You do you," Jasper said. "I'm just gonna have a nice evening with Malachite, yeah? I'll keep the bed warm for you."

"Fuck you. I have the house keys." Lapis sniffed and turned around, heading to the kitchen area of the staffroom.

Jasper watched her go, then huffed under her breath and finished off her drink. It was nearly time to head off to her class.

Lapis would come around. She always did. And if that meant Jasper had to spend a night or two in the school gym, then so be it. It wasn't like she hadn't done it before.

She got up and made her way back to the gym.

> Act V, Chapter III

[cruelfeline]

This Got Long and I am Sorry

Well, the anti in the Hordak tag deleted their post, which is a huge bummer because it means no fun games for me. But! I have been looking forward to addressing the points in that post all day, and I won’t give up my chance to talk ad nauseam about Hordak. Because y’all know that I love to talk about Hordak.

also I saved the post as a draft prior to it getting deleted so I actually have the whole thing hahaha

However: in order to prevent the original poster from getting harassed for said post, I’m just going to address points via my own summary. Safer that way! So, here we go: addressing some posited reasons that Catra and Hordak are not comparable, plus some claims about why Hordak can’t be treated with the same kindness many like to treat Catra with. 

1. Hordak being a clone of a dictator/not being biologically similar to Catra et. al, acting as he does because of this biology as a clone.

This portion of that post was a little odd because I don’t really understand what the argument was. Perhaps the idea that Hordak literally cannot be anything different than his progenitor due to... cloning science? I’m not sure.

But assuming that that was the intended argument: being a clone essentially means having the same DNA as someone else. That’s all. It does not mean that you are the exact same person (ask some identical twins if they are the same exact person as their sibling). The environment one is raised in, along with epigenetics (changes in individuals due to gene expression rather than DNA), provides infinite variations between individuals that might share the same DNA. So this argument is a little... nonsensical?

Now, I can definitely buy that some of Hordak’s morality might be biology-based; that is a legitimate argument. See this post regarding why an individual like Hordak may not have issues raising children for his army, for example. Mind you, I don’t really see this as an argument in support of him just being an evil, irredeemable bastard; rather, I look at it as an argument against “natural evil” and more in favor of different biological, cultural, and environmental factors creating an alien morality.

2. Hordak created a social system that resulted in all sorts of abuses being visited upon children. He viewed said children as disposable materials for his war.

...yeah, actually, just go to this post again. Honestly, I have zero expectation for Hordak to have any sort of special tenderness towards children. I don’t expect a clone from a society of clones to value children, not because he’s pure evil, but because he comes from a world where children aren’t a thing. Why would he value them?

A creature whose life is so different from ours as to give it a different sense of morals isn’t necessarily evil, even if they do things that we look upon as evil via our morality. Morality is not a universal constant; our evil may be meaningless to an alien, whereas our good might be horrifying to them. It all depends on the creature.

And as far as seeing children as disposable material for war: well, that follows, doesn’t it? Because after all, Hordak is also disposable material for war. Material that was actually disposed of.

3. Hordak was ready to murder Catra for disobeying orders; he’s likely murdered other high ranking officers for the same.

There is no evidence that Hordak has personally murdered anyone, so we’re just going to pass on that. One may speculate all one wants, but unless Hordak presents me with a neatly-written list of all the poor souls he’s slain, I don’t have much to say about this.

However, regarding him being ready to kill Catra: this is a complex situation because it was not as simple as “Catra disobeyed, so she must die.” Catra did not just disobey Hordak; she lied to him. He gave her a chance to come clean, to be trustworthy and loyal, to own up to a mistake, and she lied to him.

This is an issue for a couple of reasons: first, Hordak appears to have a thing about lies. He has a thing about people deceiving him (potentially because, where he comes from, he is truly incapable of lying), about not knowing what people around him are planning. Personally, I think that this is at least somewhat rooted in self-defense: he is physically weak without armor and prone to emotional manipulation by anyone who knows anything remotely intimate about him. Catra proves this point by manipulating the bejeezus out of him during season four, right after showing him that she can kill him anytime she likes by disarming him via crystal-grab. If one of his subordinates is prone to deceiving him, he needs to get rid of that subordinate to protect himself. 

Second, when Catra loses Shadow Weaver, she truly does endanger the whole Horde. Like, Shadow Weaver literally helps the Princesses infiltrate during season three. That is a thing that happens. Hordak isn’t just pulling dumb moments of insubordination from thin air; he elects to eliminate Catra because she has done something that proves to be actually detrimental to the Horde in a serious way.

I don’t mean to say that Hordak is morally correct in sentencing Catra to death, first via Beast Island, then via Crimson waste; what I mean to say is that he enacts an extremely dramatic punishment not due to simple disobedience, but due to Catra being legitimately dangerous to his life and the life of the Horde. It’s still not “good,” but it’s not the same as killing Catra for mouthing off. It’s not some grand confirmation of irredeemable evil; it’s not that simple.

4. Catra is an abused child who has been broken physically, emotionally, and psychologically since she was an infant; Hordak, on the other hand, has no background in abuse. The only bad that has happened to him is being called a defect and sent out to fight and die, which didn’t really matter because he was a clone anyway.

This… this is a sentiment some antis hold that is honestly disturbing to me.

I won’t touch on the Catra portion; all of that is true.

But Hordak… I cannot comprehend how some people don’t seem to understand the true horror of Hordak’s situation. As far as we currently know, as of season four, Hordak was manufactured to be a tool of war. He was never meant to be his own person, despite clearly having the psyche of one. He didn’t even have, couldn’t have, his own name. He was born into this purpose with no way out, no hope for any choice of his own. For pity’s sake, he has a port in the back of his neck that allows him to be erased without a moment’s notice. That is a piece of hardware someone put in him to completely control him against his will. It is a level of bodily autonomy violation suffered by no one else on this show. 

Hordak has essentially no personal self-esteem and no ability to self-validate outside of his identity as Prime’s clone. His entire concept of self-worth is based upon being useful to Prime, to the point that he doesn’t seem to understand that his being thrown away for getting sick is not only not his fault, but morally abhorrent. He is so emotionally dependent on his Brother that, despite severe risk to his own life, he seeks to return to him rather than simply taking Etheria for himself (which is what he would have done if he simply wanted to be a ruler). He needs Prime’s validation, Prime’s approval, that badly. 

And he tries to obtain that approval despite being absolutely terrified of Prime, despite it being very clear to us that there is no way that Prime will ever give it as long as Hordak remains his own self. Despite all of that, Hordak needs it because he was manufactured and programmed and conditioned to worship this terrible creature, and he simply cannot grasp a different way to live. He’s too emotionally sick.

I’m not sure how someone can look at this character and not see what has happened to him, what is happening to him, as abuse. 

5. Hordak only starts to care about anything else when Entrapta enters his life, and he only does so because she validates him; even then, it takes a long time.

This is a perplexing concept to me because… well, yes? Of course he only starts to see things differently when he bonds with Entrapta? Obviously?

Until then, he never had anyone suggest to him that he could be a worthwhile person without having some sort of practical use. He never had a companion to share his vulnerabilities with. He only had his sick ties to Prime.

Perhaps this means to suggest that Hordak should have started building a new life without the help he received from Entrapta? As if people suffering from mental illness and severe emotional pain should just be able to lift themselves up with zero support and fix their whole lives in a snap.

Ailing people tend to need other people’s support to get through their troubles. Hordak not being able to see new possibilities for his life without Entrapta’s help doesn’t say anything negative about him; all it says is that he needed someone’s support to start healing. Just as the overwhelming majority of people do.

6. Catra wants to be in charge so that others can’t hurt her. Hordak wants to be in charge just so he can “be on top,” and he only regrets what occurs with Prime because it means he is no longer dominant.

Hordak as a warlord is actually a very interesting thing to look at. He fails to act in the way that many enthusiastic, traditional warlord characters do, to the point that he seems less into the ruling and more into the obtainment of Prime’s esteem via conquering a planet to prove his worth. Which is, y’know, what’s happening: Hordak doesn’t care about ruling Etheria. He cares about conquering it so he can present it to Prime and prove that he deserves to live. The full post about that is right here.

If Hordak really cared about ruling something, he would have never bothered wasting all of that time building a portal to get in contact with Prime. He would have focused all of his efforts on conquering Etheria and left it at that. His actions only make sense when one understands that he doesn’t actually care about being a tyrannical lord; he cares about showing his Brother that he’s a good boy.

7. Catra feels regret for her actions; Hordak does not. Catra sees herself as an irredeemable bad person and hates herself. Hordak doesn’t believe he needs to be redeemed and just wants to control everything.

Again, I won’t touch Catra here, because that assessment is valid.

Hordak, however: Hordak literally thinks so little of himself that he believes it his own job to prove to his brother that he shouldn’t have been tossed aside to die. He doesn’t see this as a moral failing on Prime’s part. He doesn’t see it as wrong, that he was thrown away because he got sick. He sees it as a problem that it is his responsibility to fix.

Hordak admits to Entrapta that he has doubts: perhaps Prime was right. Perhaps he, Hordak, is a failure. Perhaps it was okay to send him out to die.

Hordak believes Catra’s lies about Entrapta’s “betrayal” because, Twitter Word of God, he views himself as undeserving of friendship.

Whether Hordak believes himself needing redemption is beside the point: the core of Hordak’s story and character arc has nothing to do with being a morally good person. It has to do with learning, understanding, and internalizing that he has his own value beyond what Horde Prime grants him. It has to do with accepting himself as he is, triumphs and shortcomings alike. It has to do with realizing that he has a right to live with or without Prime’s say-so. 

Moral redemption has nothing to do with it because before Hordak has any hope of learning to respect the rights of others, he has to learn to fight for his own.

Am I done? I think I’m done.

Well. Regrettably, I had to summarize this, so the original poster’s words are not verbatim intact, but I think I got the sense of them! Also regrettably, they will likely not see or respond to this, so that chance for active dialogue is gone. But anyone else can respond if they like, including any antis lurking about the tag. Well; if you can slog through this whole thing!

Anyway, in conclusion: Hordak is a sad bastard man. He has just as many painful personal problems as Catra and will forever have all of my sympathy and kindness because I have decided that he deserves it. So there.