#(I know now the temptation of a murdersui. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

heylinfanclub · 6 months ago

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Tbh when my brother sends me a ‘Hope you’re doing okay 😊’ I understand how my father felt when HIS BROTHER only sent him ‘thoughts and prayers’ when he was getting cancer diagnosed like. GET WITH THE FUCKING PROGRAM. BEING ALIVE IS A CHALLENGE NOW. DONT REMIND ME WHAT EASE I DONT HAVE. I WILL KILL YOU. SEND ME SOMETHING WORTH BEING OKAY OVER RIGHT NOW. MY FRIEND SENDS ME PICS FROM THE ZOO. YOU DONT OFFER SHIT. FUCK YOU.

Hhhh sigh. It sucks cause I know on some level they mean well. But all it seems like is a cop out to actually being any kind of GENUINELY, PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY, COMMUNALLY supportive. YOUR FUCKING POLITE-GREETING-CARD PLATITUDES MEAN NOTHING TO ME. YOUR SYMPATHIES ARE STRAIGHT TRASH.

#me.#therapy.#(it’s like gratitude is something that helps a lot #(but not when some asshole is telling you you should feel soooo good living in THIS world #(surrounded by THESE PEOPLE in an INESCAPBLE TORTURE NEXUS #(I’m grateful what I have but all I can think is I won’t have it for long #(everything is depreciating. everything is transient and impermanent.#(and I can’t and never will be able to afford replacements for Everything #(and I cannot and will not ask people to take care of me forever #(so eventually I will be dead young and alone and that’s a future I accept coldly not knowing any alternative #(so things are NEVER okay #(and unless u wanna *help me* make things feel okay #(goooOooO GET FUCKED #(jesus fucking Christ I want to kill him and myself in a gorey fashion #(I know now the temptation of a murdersui.#(it’s intrusive thought number three at this point

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