#(I finally am finishing up the little bit of the podcast I have left)

[nico-di-genova]

Rossi lore drop night!! Let’s go!!

He likes musicals and his favorite Christmas movies are (as an adult) Four Christmases, (as a kid) Miracle on 34th Street, and The Santa Clause. He watches Die Hard every year because of his friend group, and is on the fence about it being qualified as a Christmas movie (as he should be!).

Likes ASMR cooking videos

First vehicle was a Chevy Silverado (country boy, I love youuuuu)

Adding to the Rossi is an insane person who sleeps in frighteningly low temperatures - Alex has said that 53 degrees was the recorded lowest he’s gotten his house too, and liked it. Also, James mentioned staying at a place where the nest thermostat was locked, it could not be set below 72. Alex, in his own words, said, “do you know what I would have done? I would have gone to Home Depot, bought at 250 dollar nest, pulled theirs out and installed my own.” Just put him in a block of ice at this point, I think that is the only place he will find true comfort.

Go to meal at Applebees is the bourbon street chicken.

Doesn’t eat breakfast, but according to James does consume an “ungodly” amount of caffeine before races. Alex himself has said caffeine pills and Tylenol are often the only thing in his system during a race. Are we shocked? No. Are we concerned? Maybe.

Some local reporter at south by southwest last year introduced him as “Andrew Rossi, arrow McLaren team member”. They also mentioned he was “excited to experience the Indy 500 for the first time.” So anyway, people started calling Alex “Andrew” on Twitter and it really pissed him off. To which, James and Tim picked on him for a solid five minutes, because had he not said anything, most people wouldn’t have known about this and thus the lame joke would have died quicker. He is his own worst enemy 😭. Anyway, don’t call him Andrew, it’s not his name and he was legitimately getting pissed.

Cannot remember if I’ve already shared this one to save my life, so here’s a potential repeat. Alex is the epitome of Christian girl autumn. He once spent the whole day with Becky (JUST him and Becky) where they went to the apple orchard. He tried an apple cider slushy for the first time and an apple donut. They then went and played cornhole in downtown Carmel. He paid for Becky the whole day and when he tried to Apple request James for the money James rejected it and essentially told him to fuck off. Anyway, he’s one of the girlies when it comes to fall.

[jeahreading]

(This mood board is freaking awesome and everything you really need to know about me, the love of my life @im-on-crack-send-help made this)

(Right I think It's time for me to finally get this over with )

Helloo and Welcome to my Blog, This is Primarily a Writer/readerBlr, but there are other things too(Particularly listening to podcasts ) since I can't be bothered to make a side one.

My reader side - I am an avid reader and am almost always in the middle of a book, I will be updating here on which books I'm reading

Current read list -

Dracula (Bram Stoker)

The Screaming Staircase (Jonathan Stroud)

A Dance with the Fae Prince (Elise Kova)

American Prometheus: The Triumph and Tragedy of J. Robert Oppenheimer (Kai Bird)

The Silver Birds (Apolline Lucy)

That Night (Nidhi Upadhyay)

The Complete Adventures of Feluda, Vol 1 (Satyajit Ray)

The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)

The God of Small Things (Arundhati Roy)

The War of Lanka (Amish Tripathi) (YES I CAN FINALLY TAKE THIS OFF MY LIST I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED THIS I CAN'T BE HAPPIER)

City of Bones (Cassandra Clare)

Circe (Madeline Miller)

The Housemaid is Watching (Freida McFadden)

And that's all I can remember Right about now , Yes I'm reading 10 books or more simultaneously, no I do not have an explanation to that.

My main Genre is Historical Fiction, Fantasy, Mystery and thriller, But I do love widening my scope so do recommend me any books you might think may pique my interest. 😁

My reader side also includes me obsessing over podcasts, I'm including my Favourite podcasts here too, and I assure you they are amazing!

Podcasts for you - I usually listen to them on Spotify and love True crime, mystery, Murder mysteries etc. Here they are -

Rotten Mango by Stephanie Soo (True Crime) - I wouldn't suggest you listen to this if you get disgusted or scared easily, I usually am not affected by these kinds of things and I was still very disturbed, The first 2 episodes are quite... I would suggest you research about it more before you listen to it.

Baking a Murder by Stephanie Soo (Books and movies) - This podcast is again one of my favourites, the way she explains the movie is just so immersive, if you want to understand a story but don't have time to sit down and read the book/watch the movie then this is for you.

7 Suspects by Cryptic Radio(Murder Mystery ) - OH MY GOD, holy- this is probably one of the best mystery podcasts I've ever listened to, tbh you think you know what is going on and till the very end that is kinda sorta true, but then in the like the last 5 moments the plot twist so intense you are left sinking on to the floor thinking "What just happened", listen to, right now.

Magnus Archives by Rusty Quill (Story? horror? not sure what it comes under) - I've started listening to it after getting intense FOMO and can confirm it's going pretty well, I mean I have a LOT to catch up to, but I can say, it's caught my interest.

Murder in HR by Caspian Studios (Murder Mystery) - Again OH MY GOD, again, this is one of the best mystery podcasts I've ever listened to, I mean yeah, the gym ad thingy gets a little bit annoying but the rest of the story compensates for it, again, you think you know where you are going, again up until the very end you just don't know what the hell is going on, and again (Do you see a pattern) when the mystery hits you you are flabbergasted, soo I suggest give it a listen(also kinda obsessed with the soundtrack).

Murphy's Inc. by 97toNow Productions (Scifi mystery) - This is one of the better ones, I'm still listening to it and it's just actually really good, It's kinda the thing you listen to once a day, kinda relaxing (for me at least )

Ok, so this one is a bit different, there is a podcast Caso 63: Enigma: Spotify studios but it's in Spanish which I still haven't quite learnt and I didn't know this existed. I was recommended 2063 theke Esechi by Spotify Studios which is in Bengali which I do, in fact, understand. It was voiced by one of my favourite actors and I was absolutely in love with it, It feels like I wasn't listening to a podcast but a movie and there is so much confusion and so many twists. This podcast has been made in other languages as well, the other two ik are Case 63 (In English) and Virus 2062(In Hindi). So check it out!!

Treat by C13Features (Horror, gory) - This is like a podcast movie, it's around 2 hours long maybe? this is pretty good I would say, you can give it a listen.

Welcome to Night Vale by Night Vale Presents (Absurdity?) - I really don't think I need to say anythi_-_- HAIL THE GLOWCLOUD.

Morning Cup of Murder by Morning Cup of Murder (True Crime) - True crime yk...

The Sounds of Nightmares by Little Nightmares - Bandai Namco Europe (Horror, gore, mystery) - Uhh it's a little unnerving how detailed the actions of characters are As if they were compensating for the fact that there are no visuals, but it was pretty good I would say(Also like the soundtrack)

My writer side- My most popularly known name is Jeah (jee - ah) and I'll be using that here, I am a new author getting started on writing. I still have a looong way to go but, I enjoy writing very much even though my mind and body are definitely not on par with my will to write which is why my second unintended hobby is procrastination. Most of the time that I'm here on Tumblr I am supposed to be doing some other work, like right now.

Anywaysss here are my current WIP's

Mirror My Way - This is my first and only properly published Book. Tbh Not very proud of it, I did it in a hurry, because I took part in the school's Writing program, did nothing the whole year, and finished it in the last week, I honestly think It had potential but I kinda ruined it trying to finish it within the deadline. I wouldn't recommend you read it, It was supposed to be a part of a duology or trilogy but I think I'm just gonna let it sit in the corner for now, let it be there, think upon its mistakes, it did wrong 😤.

Tots and Coffee - Now this one I like better, this was actually inspired by the Scam Caller post here on Tumblr. Kinda had a sudden burst of inspiration and Wrote the first Chapter and since then it's still going pretty strong. Unlike the previous one, it is there on Ao3 if you wish to read it 😁.

I dunno what to call this but I occasionally write short stories in the replies of Pinterest pins when I come across writing prompts. This isn't a wip exactly but , I once posted the starting of a story and jokingly wrote "Continue-!" at the end thinking that would be the end of it, but someone did eventually continue it and that led to a string of events and a very weirdly Eledritch, beautiful Frankestine story formation, I'll be posting it slowly here on Tumblr as well, so keep checking!

Forgot to put it in earlier, but check out @the-writers-corner-inc It's a group blog I initiated, and you can find lots of fun stories, prompts, visuals and more!!

Oh just a side note, I amde another side blog where I post the answer of the everyday wordle.@answer-of-the-everyday-wordle

And that's about it, I don't what else to say, but while you're here, grab a cup of coffee or tea, pick out a book and read a page, I'm right here on the other side with a book as well, let's be booky buddies 😄😄😃😃🍵☕

[littleacebee]

Colors that mean me

Ace Podcast Week, Saturday: Celebration Walt gets an unexpected present for Spring Solstice from Violet which leads him to think about conversation from few months ago, newly learned word, the hidden meanings and community. The theme of tonight’s fanfic is colors. | Hello From The Hallowoods (3,102 words) Note: I am only finishing s2 of HFTH, so treat contents of fic accordingly.

Walt Pensive thought he should pay better attention to the dates. They were after all sometimes relevant to his work. And even if they weren’t he would be able to plan his visits to Scoutpost better. For example he wouldn’t came here, planning to use empty classroom to do some research comfortably and in silence, when the Spring Equinox was happening.

It was too late to turn his car around because Bern was waving at him from the wall. After he passed the gate, he saw the main area crawling with people.

“There goes my quiet research.” Walt murmured to himself hearing all the shouts from the outside.

He parked his van next to Scoutpost’s cars, took a deep breath to ready himself to face the crowd and left the car. He hasn’t had time to close the door behind him when voice reached his ears.

“Look who finally decide to show up!”

“It’s nice to see you too, Bern.” He said turning around to see woman walking towards him with a big smile on her smile. She reached out her hand to him and he shook it. 

“Violet would be so disappointed if you didn’t came. You know how she loves having people around for celebrations.”

Keep reading below or read on AO3

Walt chose not to tell her that he came here that day on accident and only nodded.

“I’m glad I won’t disappoint her.”

He closed his car and let Bern led him towards preparation for later celebration. They talked briefly about Scoutpost’s defenses and unwanted guests outside its gates. Walt felt satisfaction and pride hearing that since his last visit they didn’t have any major disturbances. Their conversation was cut short when they entered the crowd in the courtyard.

“Walt!” Violet shouted and waved at him immediately. She patted pockets of her jacket and when she found what she was looking for, she moved towards them.

“Hello, Violet. All the ornaments look amazing.”

Violet moved her hand in dismissive gesture but big smile didn’t leave her face.

“We are doing our best. And the kids were so excited to help they couldn’t even sit through half of their classes.”

“As you mentioned it, could I use the classroom for a little bit of research before the evening if it’s already empty?” Walt decided to take the opening Violet gave him. He knew that he couldn’t skip evening celebrations but he might still do something earlier.

“Oh, of course. There might be a mess because kids literally ran from there when they saw us starting to prepare decorations.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t make them so amazing.” Bern teased and threw her arm around her wife.

Walt couldn’t not agree with her. People were still busy with decorating and it already looked impressive. Strings with colorful flags were hang up on the fronts of the buildings and between them. The flower motifs on the big banner with “Spring Solstice” written on it were still being finished but every person who was passing by shot a glance at it curiously and immediately smiled. Scraps of fabric were assembled to look like flower and leaves and now a small group with help of a lot bigger group of kids was hanging them around. The courtyard was also slowly filling with chairs and other sits for tonight’s celebration.

“It’s truly impressive, Violet.” Walt said and smiled to the woman. “It will be pleasure as always to celebrate with you tonight. But now excuse me, I have some work to do.”

He was about to turn around when Violet stop him with her hand on his arm. He looked at her with a question on his face.

“Thank you for being around, Walt. And for coming today.” Violet reached out a hand with a small object wrapped in paper in it towards him. 

His eyes moved from the woman to the bundle and then back to her. He was vaguely aware of gift giving customs in Scoutpost but till now he never really was a part of it.

“Oh, you didn’t have to, really.” Walt said quietly and didn’t have a chance to add anything else.

“Nonsense!” Violet exclaimed and practically showed the package into his hands. “You help us so much, way more than we pay you. And you are member of this community if you like it or not.”

“I wouldn’t argue with her. Especially when she’s right.” Bern added and laughed when Violet shoved an elbow in her side.

Walt looked at the little bundle in his hands. The wrapping was hold together by some intricate way of folding the paper. Beneath it he could feel something soft. If he had to guess, he would say it was one of the famous handmade objects made by Violet. 

“Thank you very much. It really means a lot.” He looked up at the women and put a hesitant smile on his face. “I’m sorry, I don’t have anything for you.”

“Oh, don’t trouble yourself with that. Just give me a hug and promise to tell some interesting stories to the kids later. You know how much they love it.” Violet opened her arms and Walt hugged her gently. Woman didn’t hold back and almost crushed his ribs in embrace.

“Will do.” He promised when he was free again.

“We start when it’s getting dark.” Violet added when he was turning around. “Don’t be late!”

Walt walked back to his car and when he reached it, he curiously looked at the object in his hands. He opened the paper, careful to not damage contents and inside he saw a pair of hand knitted socks. He gently touched them as if he was afraid of ruining them. They were nice under his touch, clearly made with care and skill. Four colors created the same pattern on both of them - black, grey, white and purple. Violet truly did an amazing job. He felt light sting in his chest thinking about how she put even more effort into them by using multiple colors. They definitely had more important things to use colored yarn for and yet she still made him colorful socks. 

After a moment of consideration he decided to hide them in his bag. He probably should put them with the rest of his clothes but he felt it would be a little disrespectful to just leave them like that. It wouldn’t be appropriate to the gesture. And it’s not like there was someone to judge him if he wanted to be able to look at them from time to time to appreciate what Violet have done for him. 

He took his bag out of the car and rummaged inside looking for some loose books. With arms full of them he moved towards the classroom. In the few minutes his trip to the car took the courtyard filled even more with people helping with decorations or simply admiring them. The banner was finished and Violet was getting on the ladder to hung it up while laughing Bern cheered on her. Walt maneuvered in the crowd trying not to drop any book and finally reached the classroom.

Like Violet said, kids had to run out from there in a hurry because many books were still laying open on the table. Before sitting down Walt decided to clean them up and put them on teacher’s desk to not disturb whatever cataloging system they had on their shelves. He left his stuff in the only empty space on the table and started to pick abandoned books, pencils and papers. Scoutpost classroom was usually clean space and its current state was telling a lot about the excitement felt by their usual occupants. 

He took another book into his hands when something inside caught his attention. The book was small and colorful with typical thick pages. On the open one there was a person holding big flag in their hands. The text above them read in big bulky letters: “I am asexual!”

Walt stopped what he was doing and looked intensely at the page. His attention was held by the colors of the flag and text – black, grey, white, purple. The colors he already saw today.

He left books he was gathering moment ago and still holding children book he went back to his things. He put down the book to look through his bag. However his eyes didn’t left the page for a moment. His hands touched something soft and he immediately took out a pair of colorful socks. He laid them next to the open book and looked from one item to another. The flag - black, grey, white and purple. The socks - black, grey, white and purple. 

“Asexual.” He read slowly pronouncing every syllable. It did end up being the only time he pronounced it correctly. He traced the letters with his finger and thought about conversation he had with Violet some time ago.

It was late at night. They were sitting near the fire waiting for Bern to finish checking up on the gates before they go to their rooms. Violet was telling some sweet stories about how she and Bern became a couple and their first dates. And then she asked him if he had someone. Normally Walt would give a short answer and change the subject. Normally he wouldn’t engage in this conversation any further. But on the nights like this, when cold seeped into his bones and dark seemed push onto him, he missed Daphne a little bit more. The dull tightness in his chest throbbed with renewed pain and Violet was looking at him genuinely interested and he thought that she would understand. So he told her about Daphne.

He told her how they met in a dinner she worked in. How her smile lit up any room she was in and even black rains didn’t seem so dark when she laughed. That she would put an extra pancake on his order and joke “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”. That she understood him better than anyone he had ever met, sometimes even better than him. That she never pressured him to be someone he wasn’t. He didn’t tell her how he was too late to save her but he guessed Violet knew anyway.

“This your Daphne sounds like a lovely person.” She said with a smile when he finished.

“She really was. I doubt I will ever meet someone like her again.” He sighed. The pain in his chest weakened with every word of his story but didn’t die out entirely. 

Violet turned her head to look at him and a curious spark lit up in her eyes.

“Oh, are you looking for someone? Because if you do, I have to tell you I am a pretty good wingman.” She send him a charming smile and moved her brows up and down. He chuckled seeing her expression.

“I don’t doubt that.” He assured her. Here came the part that was harder to tell people. Not like talking about the dead lover was easy – but in the times when everyone lost someone in more or less horrific circumstances, it was easier for people to understand it, there was a grim mundanity in talking about lost ones. But talking about dating and relationships in the future, more precisely talking about Walt’s attitude towards dating and relationships, that was harder – for him to articulate it, for people to understand. “But it’s a… It’s a little bit more complicated than looking or not looking.”

Violet’s eyes haven’t left him. She once again had that understanding look on her face.

“I don’t want to make you talk about something you don’t want to. But if someone can understand complicated, I am this person or at least I will try.”

It was tempting to tell her everything. Violet was a person known for her openness after all. She might be the person able to understand his complicated.

Walt took a deep breath and started once again from Daphne. They weren’t the most physically affectionate couple. They would kiss occasionally, mostly as a good morning or as a goodbye. They would hold hands during walks before the black rains started and cuddle while watching movies. That was mostly it for a long time and Walt was happy and satisfied with how things were. Then, one evening, they were laying together on a couch and Daphne was moving her fingers up and down his arm. She asked him if he wouldn’t like to move to the bedroom. When he questioned if she was tired and wanted to go to sleep, she laughed sweetly and hid her face in his chest. 

“I was trying to propose to have sex, Walt.” She said with a light blush on her cheeks seeing his confused expression. His mouth formed a silent “oh” and that got him one of her lovely smiles in response. “But we don’t have to do anything, if you don’t want to.”

He knew she meant it so he told her how he truly felt. The whole honeymoon stuff never really registered on his radar or interested him at all. It wasn’t even that he actively didn’t want to, it was just outside his thoughts all the time and when he was faced with it, it felt out of place and unexpected. But if sex was something she was interested in, he could go with it. He got a tired look from her after he said a last part. 

“If you don’t want it, I don’t want it either.” She said in a tone ending all discussion. Then she make him promise. If his attitude towards sex ever changes, one way or another, he would tell her and they would talk about. And unless it happens, the whole thing is consider closed and put away. “No more “if you want to, i can do it for you”, you get it?”

Walt promised.

Nothing changed after that. Daphne would kiss him on his cheek when he was leaving the dinner, he would embrace her while she was cooking. They would cuddle in their bed and in the morning she smiled at him as brightly as always. Walt of course thought about the whole sex thing from time to time, but he didn’t reach any conclusion. Daphne looked as happy with him as before so he let the whole thing go and decided that it will be what it will be. Then Daphne was gone and he never found someone who would cause him to think about it again.

Walt finished talking, his eyes fixed on a fire.

“So, you are like asexual.” Violet said after a moment.

He looked up at her confused. Such short and simple answer wasn’t what he was expecting. 

“Ase- what?” He didn’t know what she was talking about.

“Asexual.” She repeated with a small smile on her lips. “Someone who doesn’t feel sexual attraction. Sex is not really it for them.”

Walt listened to her words curiously. There was something oddly familiar in them.

“Oh, I guess, I guess it fits.” He said hesitantly and chuckled. “Huh, didn’t even know there was a word for that.”

“Turns out people before us had a very similar feelings and experience and created a words to describe them.” 

They were interrupted when Bern came into the lighting shaking from the cold. She complained about the weather and Violet told her “I told you to wear warmer jacket”. The topic changed quickly and Walt hadn’t really thought about their conversation since then.

Now he was sitting in the empty classroom with children book and four-color socks in front of him. The book was a relic from the world that no longer existed – where people didn’t have to focus on survival and had time to match labels to flags and colors. He never took part in it, not thinking then that he could have his own colors somewhere in the rainbow. But he did. Violet showed it to him. She knew he would probably not recognize the colors, but she used them anyway. Because there were colors that meant him, that symbolized his experience, that he shared with a community. She went out of her way, just in case if he one day recognized them, he would know she understood.

Walt gently moved his fingers on the handmade material and looked out the window. Violet was shouting at Bern to stop laughing and help her with the banner. The kids were running around, probably causing more trouble than help, but no one seemed to mind. Someone started humming some melody and more people were picking it up.

He took a deep breath, tucked all his belongings in the corner away from prying eyes and went outside.

“Need help with that?” He shouted stepping next to the ladder Violet was standing on.

“Oh, thank you, Walt. Yes! Someone else here is very unhelpful.” Woman shot her wife treating look that didn’t have any real anger behind it and got only another chuckle in response.

Walt help her put up the banner and then arrange chairs. He wasn’t at all late to the celebrations as he haven’t left the courtyard. Bern made sure he kept his promise regarding telling stories to the children. They all seemed extremely transfixed by his words and were complaining loudly when their parents said that it was enough for one night.

Before he went to the guest room Violet insisted he took for the night, he stopped next to her.

“I just wanted to thank you once again for a present. It really means a lot.”

Tiredness was creeping on her face slowly but her eyes were shining with happiness.

“I’m glad you like it. And I really meant it – you are part of this community.” She pointed a finger in his chest and he nodded in response knowing that arguing will not achieve anything. He also didn’t feel like opposing at the moment.

“And I wanted to thank you for the other night, when you-, well when you understood me.” He said quietly. “And the whole ahsexual thing."

Big smile showed up on Violet’s face and it was obvious she got that he learnt the meaning behind the colors of the socks. She went to hug him tightly and Walt reciprocated the gesture.

“You are welcome. And if you ever want to talk with someone, I am always here.”

He thanked her again and went to his room. 

Later when Walt was falling asleep, pair of hand knitted socks laid on top of his bag ready to be worn the next day.

[pbandjesse]

I am sitting in front of a bonfire at Gabe and Hannah's house. They got married this afternoon in a small ceremony. And I am so happy for them. It was a lot of travel today but it was good and I am feeling happy.

I didn't sleep amazing last night though. I had a pretty horrible dream where I was choking and drowning and calling my mom for help. And it startled me awake and my nose was completely closed and I guess I was actually suffocating just a little. I would fall back asleep and tried to get some rest.

I woke up at 730. I would say good morning to James and then took a shower and washed my hair and tried to make myself all nide before a long day of driving.

We both had packed already and we gathered everything. I was feeling pretty good overall. It was brisk out but would warm up pretty quickly. We made sure everyone was fed and alright before we left. I kissed Sweetp on his little head and then we were off.

The drive was actually really nice. We would leave at 830 and the GPS was saying we would arrive around 230. We wouldn't have to deal with much traffic and we had a few podcasts to listen to. It was nice just being together.

I had brought a third of my puff quilt project to work on. I was annoyed with myself though because I ended up finishing that in less than three hours so I totally could have brought more! But I am really happy with myself for finishing this section and it gives me a good idea for how long the next two sections will take.

I also enjoyed the podcasts and just being with my husband. We would stop for donuts after an hour. James would do all the driving. And I tried very hard to stay off of my phone. I still have almost no usable data so using my phone at all was very annoying. But honestly it was for the best because being in my phone makes me a bit nauseous. I do find it annoying I cannot answer my immediate Googleable questions. But I must try my best to wait for WiFi.

We would stop for lunch at Burger King. Which was good but hurt my stomach by the end. Frustrated that that is still happening. But we were having lots of laughs and it was still a lovely day.

I would end up falling asleep around 1. The section of my puff quilt made an excellent pillow. But when I woke up I was all disoriented and thirsty. We would finally be in North Carolina. James stopped us at a restaurant stop to use the bathroom. And I was still pretty tired but I wouldn't fall asleep again. I just listened to James's podcast about baseball and enjoyed watching the world go by.

We would get to the Airbnb at 3. But check in was at 4. The place was really cute outside though! I was looking forward to checking out the space. But we would go and waste the hour at a cute coffee shop around the corner.

They didnt have any non coffee drinks I was interested in but I did get a hilarious mushroom shaped cheese cake. Which was very tall which made it hard to eat. And I wouldn't actually call the texture cheese cake, more like a cream jello. But it was good.

I would bring most of it back to the Airbnb to save for later.

We would drive back over there and it was so very cute inside. It's like a Hobbit house! A fairy house! It's so cool. They even have an article on the wall about the guy who built the place.

We decided to chose the top room. The whole place has 4 beds but it's all curtains and not real rooms. But that's fine. The other two couples are chill. The one is Gabe's brother and his partner and the other I think is a friend of Gabe. That one is unclear to me. But they were not in yet.

We would lay down for a half hour. Until we were going to meet Jon, a guy James was in the fraternity with. Him and his fiancee are getting married next weekend! And so we would meet them for barbecue and they were so lovely. I wasn't feeling amazing. Just a little beat from the drive. But I got mac and cheese and deviled eggs. And I really enjoyed the conversations. We talked about being pregnant but also their wedding and our trips and how they won free round trip stickers to Germany! So they are using that for their honeymoon which I think is so nice.

We hung out with them until around 630. And then Gabe was texting James that they were done getting married and to come hang out in the backyard. So that is what we did. Hugs for Jon and his fiancee. And we were off.

The house that Gabe and Hannah got married at is literally 4 houses away from where we are staying. Super convenient. We walked over there and Gabe met us outside. It was so nice to see him.

And we have been hanging and chatting and well wishing since we got here. It was very nice to talk to Gabe's parents. I haven't met them before but they are really kind and love my James so that is always nice for me.

As the sun went down Gabe's brother started the fire. And it has been so nice to hang around it. Chatting. The older people and family all just left so now it's all people our age just chilling.

We will probably head back to the Airbnb soon. And get some rest.

Tomorrow we have most of the day to do whatever. So I am hoping we can go to a museum and see some of the city. And then we'll be back here for the reception. It should be a lovely day.

I hope you all sleep well and be safe. I love you all. Goodnight!!!

[thefringespod]

Been in a haze all day post Lunar New Year activities but its #AudioDramaSunday once again! Starting with The Magnus Protocol which had me wanting to reach into the podcast and shake the person the story was about. Jamie Petronis of The CellarLetters wrote one hell of an episode!

Leanne Egan has once again made me cry at work with @tellnotalespod How am I meant to cope with ghost dad, Leanne?? How am I supposed to feel normal after that?? It was beautifully written but also how dare

Public release of @souloperatorpod ep 3 was this week and I am shaking Tot for what she's done. Each episode Tot manages to take the paranoia up another notch and it always turns out so spectacularly that I can hardly believe I get to work with them on 2 shows Tot's too talented

The @somewhereohio season finale was marvelous in every imaginable way. Rat Grimes took this season places that I never expected but absolutely adored every step of the way and I can't wait for the eventual next season that's to come

My beloved @woebegonepod returned for the start of season 13 this week! It hurt me in ways I didn't know were possible given the episode framework. Dylan has once again done something different in wbg in the most fantastic of ways and im so worried about Mikey (my default state)

New @kingmakerpod answered the question "what if Jonny Sims got lost in a magically confusing forest for 25 years" in the best way possible. They fully get that Jonny's typecasts are either men named Jon or cannibals. A brilliant brilliant episode as always

I listened to The @Grotto again this week because I love feeling pain (and it takes less time to relisten than woe.begone does). Athan has also released an album of the music from the show so far! Its amazing! Go check it out! Tay and Lyssa are on it!

Listen to episodes 20-25 of The Storage Papers which were phenomenal as always! Slowly but surely i am making my way through this show and enjoying every step of the way

Here on the Fringes we returned with episodes! This was one of my favorite as I love my silly little moss character. On the writing side, only 1.5 episodes left to go! And if you want access to this week's episode RIGHT NOW you can support the show at patreon.com/PineTreePods

And over on @forgedbondspod I've taken a bit of a break to focus in on finishing up the Fringes, but I have received a bit of test audio from some of my cast and im already in love with their portrayals

That's all for this week! It was a bit of a rough one mental health wise but I'm picking myself back up and continuing to work on the things that I love

[ourstoriedinsight]

Audio Drama Sunday IV

Alright! Back again! Skipped last week as I went on a binge of Non-fiction history podcasts as is my occasional habit. This week however I resumed my audio fiction engagements with a fervor.

Edge of my seat week to week listens wise this was another win for @innbetween where I have to be a bit sneaky about spoilers since most y'all won't have access yet. This one gave me some chills as Max's character brought to mind some bosses I worked for in the past whom I am glad I am not working for now. Whereas previous adventuring parties were faster to making solid friendships of fate and circumstance this bunch remains first and foremost co-worker relationships which has opened the door wonderfully to working with themes of different types of ableism. I come from a decently cut throat industry myself and that whole "What good are you if you can't..." is a huge thing we need to talk more about as a society. Having party members we feel a little more gray about is a neat shift of dynamic too which I wholeheartedly approve of which has left me hoping either the arc carries everyone to a better wiser place ... or delivers some much needed kicks to the gems for bad behavior by way of catharsis.

My binge listen continues to be Spirit Box Radio where I have hit season 3 at last! The Host/ Creator/ Voice Actor of the show seems to be going through a testosterone based transition which I got to admit I am enjoying vicariously more than I probably should. My circumstances have taken a T transition off the table for me personally so when I encounter someone going through one I get fairly excited myself noting the changes. How deep Sam's voice will be by the end of the series is like an added bit of delightful mystery. On it's more narrative based merits however Spirit Box Radio continues to delight. There's an evolving ruminative quality to the story with leaps and bounds of development just when the slow drip of progress in the mystery starts to stretch the tension to the breaking point. Big changes in the status quo that then must be weighed and understood and considered starting the cycle anew. Pacing wise it's the cautious and moderate person's approach to danger which feels fairly true to life. It's something that works best in podcast format which makes it feel more fresh than the more common arc of act/react. Things must be digested in their own time and lately particularly I have been finding that slower pace is a welcome change from instant gratification.

Editing log of the week is fairy empty as I have finished the second draft of the season Finale and am taking a breather before doing the finalizing process. After this I get a nice two month vacay from all things audio to sharpen up my resolve for the next season and start making our backlog for the airing of season 2. I'm so close to relaxing I can feel it!

[windovvaving]

montego dalian armas mariscal.

triggers: gifted kid burnout

headcanons / history:

born to boy chains of fortune member alvaro armas mariscal & a groupie after a one night stand, montego spent his formative years on the road. the band broke up before montego even really could form permanent memories, so he really only remembers denver.

not to say he doesn't have memories of touring, they were just all in the summer when school was out. made those "what did you kids do last summer" questions from teachers real interesting.

even without his mother, montego never felt unloved. he had his dad & that was enough for him.

spent his school years coasting through, never really needing to study. his best subject was always math, the equations making straightforward sense.

every teacher said he'd make a good accountant since he was so quick at math.

when montego hit sophmore year of high school, he started struggling. things weren't coming as easily anymore. he had to get tutoring to pass with a grade he was proud of.

his whole life had been about math. it was the one thing he was super good at & now he was mediocre. the same as everyone else.

this led to him trying to find another thing to excel at. he never really found it. it was like that drive that made him good at things had disappeared.

when it comes to what he wanted as a career, montego has tried it all: all of the arts, hockey & baseball, finance, truck driving, podcasting. nothing has really brought him that spark that makes him want to turn it into a career. the closest he ever got was babysitting, but unless he found someone to nanny for fulltime, it's not exactly a paycheck he could live off of.

which is why he still lives with his dad.

montego found a job as a host at an upscale restaurant not too long of a drive from home. it's not much, but it's a paycheck from a place he doesn't hate being at.

he still doesn't know what career he wants, leading to feelings of being left behind as he looks around & sees so many others his age settling into the rest of their lives.

now that school is over, montego is able to leave all the feelings about needing perfection & never finding it behind. he can chill out now that the pressure of a grade is over.

however, that's kind of led to him being a bit too laid-back. as long as nothing's on fire & no one's injured beyond repair, he's just going to let it happen. very laissez-faire.

there is one exception to his laissez-faire attitude: the twins. he loves his little siblings to death!! he never knew how much he would want to be an older brother until esperanza and bastien were born around two years ago. nothing's going to happen to them while he's around.

if presented w/ an open-ended question, he'll waffle around the answer. but if it's a yes or no, he's more likely to give a straight answer.

once he's committed to doing something, it's getting done. this can be both positive (you'll never have to worry about him forgetting your plans) & a negative (he'll make the decision to try a new hobby & even if he hates it, he'll spend all night finishing the project).

wanted connections:

a maternal figure! not necessarily a woman ( or fem-presenting enby ) who took on a motherly role for him in his childhood, but more so a woman who was around every so often so montego latched on.

acquaintances! people who wouldn't call each other friends, but are on a first name basis.

friends! he's been in denver pretty much his whole life, so anyone who came at any point could be his friend. could be from school, work, hanging around town, the neighborhood, etc.

regulars! those who come into the restaurant often enough that they could recognize each other on sight.

romantic interest! i imagine montego & the romantic interest had been pining for a while & they've finally broken the seal & started dating, but am totally up for other ideas if you'd like to ship.

if you’re hearing QUARTER LIFE CRISIS by TAYLOR BICKETT playing, you have to know MONTEGO ARMAS MARISCAL (CISMALE; HE/HIM) is near by! the TWENTY-FOUR year old RESTAURANT HOST has been in denver for, like, PRETTY MUCH HIS WHOLE LIFE. they’re known to be quite RECKLESS, but being RELIABLE seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble TYLER ALVAREZ. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those WAFFLE HOUSE AT FOUR AM, LAISSEZ-FAIRE, & NOTEBOOKS FULL OF FAILED IDEAS vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the DOWNTOWN DISTRCIT long enough!

[lumiereandcogsworth]

💛Smoshblr December Asks Final Day💙

We‘ve done it! We’ve finally reached the end of this lil ask game and also the end of 2023! 🥳 Thank you so much for joining in on this, I truly appreciate it so much 🫶! I wish you a wonderful start into the new year and that all your hopes and dreams for 2024 will come true! ✨💞

But, since the year isn’t quite over yet, I thought this might be a nice time to reminisce a little bit. Therefore, the final question of the Smoshblr December Asks Game:

What are your favourite smosh-related memories of 2023? 💖

(no specific amount required for this one; and you can ofc also include older smosh memories, if you want to 🤗)

aahhhh lovely question!!! well this year was the year that i really got into smosh. for a few years i would only watch try not to laugh when it came out, and just ignore everything else lol. but this year i really got on board and now i watch everything :”) it’s nice having something new that’s still comfy to watch every day 💖

obviously the biggest thing was anthony coming back of course. which was SOOOOO amazing!!!! i remember watching them back in the day and i knew he left and was sad about it. so when they announced he was returning i was over the moon!! and ian really does seem so much happier and more confident, it’s wonderful to see.

another highlight for me is 100% sword af. i dabble in dnd and i love the legend of vox machina, so i was STOKED that my beloved smosh gang was gonna be doing a campaign!! it was also crazy timing for me. because i had JUST finished binging BAF legacy, (for the first time, it was one of the last things i watched to catch up on recent content), having No idea that in just like a week or two, they were going to announce sword af. incredible timing. and i ADORE sword af and i am still wondering when on earth they’re going to have merch!! but anyway

ALSO SMOSHMOUTH CAME OUT AAAHHH!!! i loooove smoshmouth. i’m not a podcast person in the slightest but i will gladly sit and watch shayne and amanda talk about genuinely anything for an hour, always. those two have very easily become my favorites (shayne already has been for years, but now amanda is a real close second) and i’m sooo thankful for that show. i think it’s perfect.

there were so many funny moments and so many times that i was laughing so hard i had tears in my eyes. i love all those silly geese and all the fun dynamics amongst them. i love the shayne guessing things series and the don’t win mario party vids and the trivial pursuit try not to laugh. i just love watching these goobers do silly things together!!

and finally. best quote of the year, HAS to be:

ARE YOU LADIES DONE CHATTERING??

as a last note, though, thank you so much for doing this. it’s been so much fun and your dedication does not go unnoticed!! it’s greatly appreciated 💜💜💜

[unresolvedresolutepersonal]

Thursday, 11/30

Happy Thursday, aka my endless day. Honestly, it went pretty okay! I had criminal justice, where I basically zoned out through the lecture a bit because I've fully shifted into Final Mode on that class now, worked a bit on my final paper, and went to a 12pm meeting in Hyannis. I really wanted to get a lot done on this paper today, so I was very annoyed at having my work time broken up. Between classes, meetings, and this movie I saw (more on that later), today really tested my skills for private reverie and pretending to be engaged. 14/30. I am almost halfway and then it's downhill from there.

I came back to campus, got more work done on that paper (I'm on page 10! I have probably less than half left to do!), and went to radio, where I got to learn all about podcasting! Exciting and relevant for if I get that Pocket.FM job. I've mostly given up on it, but... I'm hoping a little.

After class, I finished the third section of my paper, then drove up to Boston (or more specifically, Cambridge, girl kissing capitol of the US, lol) to meet Toni and Marie to see the premiere of a Chinese movie starring Toni's blorbo, lol. I haven't spent much time with my Discord buddies since moving back to MA, and it was really great to see them! We got Chipotle and caught up, which was really nice, and then went over to the theater to see the movie. Unfortunately, I wasn't the biggest fan of it (too arty and confusing for me) and I was FREEZING in that theatre. Like, skin icy to the touch by the end. But it was still nice to see my friends. I cranked the heat up soooo high driving home, and now I am cozy wozy in bed!

[yarnreader]

2020 (1/1/20)

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.- Edith Lovejoy Pierce Happy New Year, everyone! I hope 2019 has treated you well. It was definitely full of highs, and a couple of lows, for myself. I had three new babies born in my life! Two goddaughters and a new cousin, they are so loved and spoiled already. I found a new job that I really love. I got my anxiety and depression under control, finally! And Jordan and I are happy and healthy. There have been some scary medical things in my family, my great uncle has been diagnosed with cancer before Thanksgiving. That has been tough to deal with from this far away. I, myself, had surgery at the end of August. My doctor removed a lot of endometriosis from my left fallopian tube and found that my right tube had spillage, which means that it is open. I've been doing great after the surgery, but still no luck with conceiving and for the time being, we decided to put TTC on hold for a bit. We are going to start the long process of house hunting this year and to save on some stress (and money), we decided to wait a little longer. I have become more self-aware and self-confident this past year. I've learned more about my body this year than any other time in my life and I'm learning how to handle certain things that I'm not too fond of. I've always been one to find something that I don't like about myself and would worry over that thing until I made myself crazy. But now, I feel like I'm handling things differently and coming to terms with the way I am. I do have a few main goals for the year itself that I don't want to share here due to it being more personal things. But I've been giving myself some small goals each month to focus on. This month's being; finish three books and six projects, practice more self-care, and to cut sodas out of my diet. I've done great with cutting out energy drinks, more specifically Red Bulls, last month. I haven't had one since around Thanksgiving. And my goal is just to get my body off these things for a month and then only have them as a once in a while treat. I have had a bad habit of drinking Red Bull and sodas quite a few times a week and I always felt a little sick afterward, so I really need to make some changes. My crafting goals are pretty simple this year. I want to get back into cross-stitching. I want to finish knitting the patterns I like from The Unofficial Harry Potter Knits magazine. I also want to keep up with podcasting and get back into blogging again. Nothing major, so I think I can stick with them. What are some of your goals/plans for the new year? Please let me know in the comments below! Also, if you are interested in what I'm up to day-to-day you can find me on Instagram! Happy 2020! I hope this year is a great one for you all.

[splishsplashyouropinionistrash]

An incomplete list of my favorite AFTG fics

All of these are on AO3, and yes I’m only writing this because I’m procrastinating working on TMHYHM. So, in no particular order, my favorite AFTG fics.

The Multi-Part Fics (Complete)

All of these have ended and taken a bit of my heart with them.

1. August by gus_47 (2/2)

If you know anything about me you know that I’m obsessed I enjoy anything and everything written by gus_47. I am their biggest fan; I would read their grocery lists if they let me. So obviously, I was obsessed with this story as soon as it was published. It’s Kevaaron and just- ugh. Heartbreaking. AND !! There’s going to be a second part. So technically it’s finished, but never fear because we’re not done with my boys yet.

2. 12 Ways To Woo A Minyard by NikNak22 (14/14)

This is a non-exy college Andriel fic with background Kevaaron and Jerjean. Basically, Neil is friends with the Foxes and has a huge crush on Andrew. The Foxes try and help Neil confess, lots of fun fluffy antics ensue. Plus, it’s a “Kevaaron is obviously happening but Neil’s too busy pining to notice” fic, so... yeah

3. Flavors of Fall by NikNak22 (20/20)

Don’t even get me started on this one. It’s Andreil, Andrew’s POV, small-town romance. Andrew’s a photographer and lives in a cottage!! in the woods!! and the Foxes have small-town spooky season fun!! It’s just so fluffy and fun and god the yearning. One of my favorite fluff fics, stg it’s so amazing.

4. Bad Habits by mitigates (2/2)

Okay so listen... I won’t lie, there’s a lot of smut. HOWEVER!!! There’s also fuckin soft Jeremy Knox running a childrens home!! and I need that in my life so badly. Anyway, it’s Andriel, Kevaaron, and Jerjean. Also Neil and Kev hooked up once, and it’s a big joke?? Honest to god, it comes up at least four times-

5. Red Rabbits by bloodydamnit, Jeni182, SeaBear13, and windeavesdrops (25/25)

It’s Andriel with background Renee/Allison, not a fluff fic at all so be warned. Andrew is a journalist who starts a podcast trying to hunt down Mary and Nathaniel Wesninksi. Neil, obviously, doesn’t want to be found. It was an interactive story, there’s a Tumblr page, it’s just so good? Really, go read it. I have no other words.

6. quicksand by likearecord (9/9)

This bad boy is Andriel with fuckboy Aaron and Neil is Kev’s little brother. The sheer amount of gay panic in this story, I simply cannot express to you how much fun this is. I cackled so loudly in the middle of the fucking night. Also like- Andrew gets to have friends?? and family who loves him?? And Neil is a being of utter chaos. It’s beautiful.

7. The Odds Are Never In Our Favor by MalikShah (29/29)

It’s not my normal style, but it was so good? It’s AFTG + The Hunger Games. Andriel, a few character deaths, and just a lot of tears. They’re so gay and so sad and it’s so fun. 

8. Thorns by Mostly_Maudlin (2/2)

Andreil during Neil’s fifth year. Lots of healthy communication after some not-so-healthy communication. Just a sweet little fic of Andreil learning how to live when they aren’t right next to eachother. (there is smut tho, just so you’re prepared).

9. a switchblade is my preferred weapon by badacts (48/48)

LOCKED FIC, YOU NEED AN AO3 ACCT TO READ !! 

Anyways, this is AFTG if Neil was in the Nest and left with Kevin. It’s Andriel and very good. The slowest of slowburns. You aren’t ready. You may think you’re ready, but you aren’t.

10. Am I Screaming To An Empty Sky? by phan_taloon (4/4)

guys... this one is just heartbreaking. It’s Andriel, hurt with very little comfort, and honestly super triggering so be sure to read the tags before you read. Basically, the Foxes lose the finals and Neil ends up in the Nest. I think I sobbed the whole time I was reading, honestly.

11. never fallen (from quite this high) by crystalcrow (43/43)

It’s AFTG from Andrew’s POV. Deffo a must-read, that’s all I have to say. Also, the first AFTG fic I read so... good memories, ig?

12. Back To The Start by fuzzballsheltiepants (11/11)

Andriel during Neil’s fifth year. Andrew gets injured and loses his memory. It’s just as heartbreaking as it sounds, but also so painfully sweet. gives major “I don’t know you, but I know that I love you” vibes. So good.

The Multi-Part Fics (Incomplete)

Some of these are abandoned, some are not, all of them are worth reading.

1. I left you alone in a house, not a home by ohhhhmygod (4/?)

Andreil after canon where Neil has a little brother. It’s not a super fluffy fic so far, but it’s so good !!

2. Blame It On My Youth by youreyestheyglow (115/?)

Andriel 10 years post-canon. They’re foster dads!! Nat and Paige are what I never knew I needed, I’ve fallen hopelessly in love with this story. The quintessential AFTG fic.

3. Hoax by gus_47 (31/40)

C’mon guys, it’s gus_47 ofc I love it. Jerejean after the Ravens. Absolutely, completely obsessed. It’s so fucking good y’all. Just read it.

4. Redemption by accioice (30/?)

So, Neil goes to the Nest as a kid, but instead of Riko abusing them, the Perfect Court becomes family (plus Ichirou). Eventually they go to Palmetto and there’s Andriel!! Kev is a bi disaster, we get some neurodivergent rep, and really really good found family. They just love each other so much. Honestly, it’s a good “what if..?” fic. Like, what if Riko broke the cycle of abuse? It’s just really good and you need to read it.

5. Andrew Minyard v. The Spear Family by preciousfoxes (10/?)

Andrew takes legal action against the Spears and Neil is a “feral dumpster raccoon lawyer”. Really, it’s just Andrew having gay thoughts for 10 chapters straight. And can you blame him? Neil with a man bun. Neil with piercings and tattoos. Neil in a suit. 

6. I Beg You, Whisper My Name Like A Prayer by Louie__TheLonely (4/?)

Picture this. Highschool AU. Neil and Andrew are best friends. They are horribly gay for each other. And horribly oblivious. I AM OBSESSED.

7. Neil Fights The Foxes by This_Witch_Writes (10/12)

Neil picking fights when the Foxes treat Andrew badly? Yes, please. I am a whore for protective Neil. Be warned, there’s some triggering stuff in later chapters. Check tags and stay safe <3

8. Let’s make things interesting by Nico4undead (16/?)

Enter the Minyard-Josten rivalry. That’s it. That’s the whole thing.

9. Innominate by Major_816 (18/74)

Neil gets sold to the Moriyamas, but ends up with Ichirou instead of Riko. Now he’s a badass crime lord working undercover at Palmetto. Get ready for heartwrenching angst and heartwarming found family. I cannot express how obsessed I am.

10. In Which Neil Josten Is A PR Nightmare by CoverYourEyes (16/?)

Eve has the (mis)fortune of working as Neil Josten’s PR manager during the Minyard-Josten rivalry. Otherwise known as: Neil is ungovernable.

11. Tell Me How You Hate Me by Killingmeslowly_24 (that’s me !!) (3/18)

I can’t make a fic list without including my child. So, it’s TKM from Andrew’s POV. Andrew is absolutely feral for Neil, and he’s seriously in denial. It’s so much fun to write. Also!! we get the Nicky content we deserve!! Nicky as an adoring cousin!! (and is that Renee/Allison I see on the horizon? It is? 0.0)

The Oneshot Fics

They’re short, they might be sweet, and rest assured: they’re amazing.

1. Just Because I Can by NikNak22

Am I obsessed with this writer? maybe. Bro it’s 5+1, Neil pranking the Foxes and the Foxes pranking Neil back. Amazing, hilarious, I love it.

2. A Yellow Made Out Of Gray by thelessiknow

5 times Neil sees his friends feel loved + 1 time Neil feels loved. That’s it. That’s the fic. It’s just as fluffy and perfect as it sounds.

3. stay (you don’t have to go) by Major_816

Ohhhh boy. This one. It breaks me. Andriel highschool AU, they meet on a suicide prevention forum. So... major TW. It destroyed me, I’m not going to lie.

4. One day we’ll reveal the truth by allyasavedtheday

LOCKED FIC, YOU NEED AN AO3 ACCT TO READ !!

Aaron doesn’t trust Neil’s intentions, so Andrew tells him to watch how they interact. Cue the fluff.

5. Scribbles and Sticky Notes by Fortheloveofexy

I am so sorry in advance. Post-canon, Neil starts leaving sticky notes out for Andrew. Sweet things or reminders, whatever. Andrew saves them all. AND THEN YOU CRY !!

6 (and 7). goodbye, family. and don’t say goodbye by queenDay05

Neil knows his countdown is ending, so he records a video. The Foxes can’t find Neil, but they do find his goodbye. Absolutely soul crushing.

8. just a footnote by Anonymous

Kevaaron, they’re friends with benefits. Aaron is in love and not handling it well. Fluff and smut, so much mutual pining. One of my favorite oneshots ever.

Well! That was a wonderful little distraction, uhhhh.... expect an update by the end of the week? Life’s been... shit, honestly and I haven’t had the energy to write. 

Take care of yourselves, my loves <3

[pbandjesse]

24 hours now since we have seen Crabcake. I am really torn up about it. I know he will show up eventually but man. Today was not amazing because I had a lot of stress thinking of my missing voy. I'm just so sad about it. I am trying to remain positive but I am still sad.

And how the day started wasn't helpful. I would sleep okay. But when I woke up I was frustrated. James had apparently looked for an hour with no luck. And once I was dressed I would look as well. I got snippy with James and they spoke not very nice to me. Basically the first time they have ever done that. And I know we were both just overwhelmed with stress but it still upsets me. They apologized and we see okay. We just want Crabcake back.

I would have to leave for camp. I left ten minutes later then normal but it was fine. I would struggle on my drive in. I was enjoying a podcast but I was also just so tired.

When I got to camp I would set up for the day and worked on cutting bears. I would end up giving myself a blister on my finger from cutting so many bears out of felt. It was painful, still is hours and hours later.

I would go sit in the office for a little to cool down. It was a really really nice today. The heat has finally calmed down. And we could all breathe. I would chat with Heather about Crabcake and how sad I am. And she really thinks he'll come out soon and everything will be okay. I really hope she's right.

Manny would ask me if two of his boys could hang out with me this morning because they didn't want to go tubing. I said sure. And not long after they would come up to join me.

I was in my hammock. But I would get them set up with paper and coloring material. I would also get them some tasks so they wouldn't be bored. It was very helpful when they would count out the bears we've cut out so far. And I should have enough for the first two days at least. Excellent.

I wish I could say I was able to put everything to the side and be the best teacher. And I think at points I did okay. But I was way quicker to be frustrated then normal. And I was just disappointed in myself for being snippy when kids were just not getting the instructions. Some were better then others at the art. But the ones who just didn't seem to listen to instructions and were wasting all the ink made me really upset.

Some kids impressed me though with their understanding of the materials and techniques. And it was fun! Those parts made me feel more positive.

I would not love lunch but I was starving. We had Mac and cheese and green beans with lots of pepper. But it was a little boring. I would have some egg salad and lettuce too. But pretty quickly I decided I wanted to go lay down in the cabin.

I walked down there and was happy to be in the AC even if it wasn't to hot outside. I really enjoy spying on that bed. And it's nice and dark in there. I would pick out some clothes for tomorrow and Monday. And got a piece of chocolate. I took some old food out of the fridge and bagged it up to take to the trash (morning our building to avoid buggies), and laid down for a half hour.

I think that made my afternoon a lot better. I was feeling kind of ugly and bad today but the rest and the dark made me feel a little bit more like myself. It went perfect but it was something.

The day campers would make me feel a little crazy though. Throwing my toys and breaking things and just upsetting me. Thankfully when Emily came back she would hold them accountable and would impose a 15 minute time out for them on the field. I appreciated the effort.

Second day came was better. Still crazy but more interested in the art. And their councilor and YLP were excellent. I felt very supported.

My tipis kids were here too and finished their service hours and would help with a few things. It was nice to chat with them, always is.

Stockade was my last group and we would have a lot of fun metal casting and I was just really enjoying them trying so hard. Mix success for sure. But it was fun! Jorge was the councilor and he was so sweet to me. And Jeci was goofy in the best way. And Kamal came back to get his piece again even though it kept not working, he was trying and I admired that a lot.

But I was glad to be done in the end. I really wanted to go home. So after collecting my things I drove home. Enjoyed a podcast. Was starving all of a sudden. But was very happy to go home.

I would get stuck in a little traffic but it wasn't bad at all. And I was home by 415.

No sign of Crabcake though. I had really hoped he would just be right there but not yet.

I would do a loop to look for him. Then went to take a shower. And then sit on the couch to have a snack and wait for my James to come home.

When they did I was very happy to see them. They would clean up and we decided to go to the diner and get sandwiches.

This was a good call. I was very happy walking around with them. The drive out was just fine. And we were very very excited to sit in the side of the restaurant we have never been sat in before! I was so excited I almost told the waitress how excited I was. It was very silly.

And we had some absolutely huge laughs. We were just being so silly and I was having so much fun. The food was good but the company was better.

We decided to make a stop at target before we went home. I needed a new toothbrush and wanted frozen cream cheese wantons. We would get a couple other small things. But we were just having fun walking around and looking and talking and I was feeling a lot nicer inside.

We would head home after that. And that is where we are now. I have been hanging out on the couch. The AC is working really well and I'm thrilled about that. But I am also really tired. Physically. Emotionally. It was a long day. I am still full of worry. But I just have to have faith that it will all work out.

I hope that the last day of the week goes well. I hope my groups are nice and I can just having a nice time. I hope you all have a great night. Take care of eachother. Good night. Until next time

[sorryjustafangirl]

☀️ my redheaded angel jt w prompt #67 please?? <3

sorry this is late but hope you enjoy! and also some of this comes from this podcast episode called "Falling" and I highly recommend it!

prompt: "I know you're sad, so let me in. It's cold outside."

Four papers. Two group projects. Assignments were due in every class, your hardest class had a midterm next week, and it was safe to say you were no less than exhausted. And that’s not taking into account your part time job or your boyfriend’s game schedule. There were three unfinished coffees lying around your desk and you were pretty sure you hadn’t done the dishes in at least a week, seeing as you had no spoons left in the drawer. Your phone had been buzzing for the past couple days, but you were so busy with everything, you didn’t even look at them. And when you did finally have a chance to check the messages, it was too much effort to formulate an answer.

You were currently working on your literature review, re-reading the same sentence over and over again because your apartment buzzer kept going off. You heard your phone buzzing on the table but it was too far and too much effort to tear yourself away from your work.

“Babe, I know you’re in there and I’m pretty sure I’ve buzzed grumpy Mr. Jones a couple times by accident already. Please just answer.”

He buzzed your apartment one more time and you ignored it one more time.

“I know you’re sad, so let me in. It’s cold outside,” He pleaded. That was what broke your concentration. You glanced at the clock and realized he’d probably been outside of your apartment building for close to ten minutes.

You walked over to the intercom, and pressed it. He went silent on the end and it took you a while to get the words out but you finally said it. “I’m not…sad.”

“Well, you’re ignoring me like you do when you get sad, so what am I supposed to think?” You tried to ignore the strain you heard in his voice but by the way your heart dropped, you had failed.

“You have a key,” You said quietly.

“I know but…I want you to want me to come up.” You sighed and buzzed him in. Soon enough, he knocked and you slowly opened the door.

“You know I always want you here.” Your voice was quiet to begin with, but it was muffled by your boyfriend’s arms around you. He just held you, his hand cradling the back of your head. He kicked the door closed and you let yourself relax a little bit into his arms, but he pulled away before you could get too comfortable. He held you at an arm’s length, taking in your appearance of sweatpants, greasy hair, and likely some bags under your eyes.

“Babe, I think you are beautiful all of the time, but when was the last time you slept?” You shrugged. “What’s going on?”

“I’m just tired,” you said, walking back towards your laptop, but he grabbed your arm, pulling you back to him. He pushed a stray hair out of your face.

“This is a little more than tired. You haven’t been answering anyone’s texts for a couple days,” he noted. You shrugged again.

“I’m just really busy, okay? There’s too much to get done, I don’t have a lot of extra time for conversations that aren’t about midterms or for sleep or for basic housework. Just a couple more weeks, and I’ll be fine. It’s just right now that’s hard.” But JT was already shaking his head before you finished.

“There’s no way I’m letting you keep doing this to yourself for a few more weeks. I was- I am so worried about you. I’ll do the chores, or help you study, make you a meal or something, but you can’t shut me out like this. ”

“But you shouldn’t have to do that for me. I should be able to take care of myself. You have your own stuff to deal with,” you reasoned.

“Yeah, I don’t have to do that stuff for you, but I want to. You’re my partner and I love you. Is it a crime to want to see you smile again?” His words made the heat rush to your cheeks and you cracked a small smile.

“There it is! Now, c’mon, it's game day tomorrow so we’re heading to bed early.” He started to walk towards your room but you stayed where you were.

“I have to finish–”

“Nope. Not tonight. We’re going to sleep,” He said, tugging you into his chest and moving the two of you into your bedroom. He easily found some of his clothes you’d ‘borrowed’ and got changed and you reluctantly did the same. When you got under the covers and your back hit the mattress, you immediately visibly relaxed and you heard your boyfriend laugh a little.

“Don’t laugh at me,” you whined. He got under the covers, pressing a quick kiss to your nose.

“I’m not, I promise. Just…nice to see you a little happy.”

“Thanks for talking some sense to me,” you mumbled, leaning into him as your eyes started to close. He pressed another kiss to your hairline, and let his arms wrap around you.

“Of course, babe. Now, get some sleep, you deserve it.”

The next morning, you woke up to a cold bed. Disappointed, you walked out to the kitchen, and immediately noticed that the counter was clear of dirty dishes, aside from a plate with a piece of peanut butter toast and a glass of orange juice. Your heart melted at JT’s thoughtfulness and when you finished your breakfast and moved the plate, your heart melted like ice cream on a hot summer day.

Went to morning practice but had to make you a healthy breakfast. Don’t shut me out next time, I’m here no matter what <3 love you always

taglist (join here): @heatherawoowoo @4ambagelbites @tysonjost-taylorsversion @2manytabsopen @stars-canucks @lorrmorr @fallinallincurls @plds2000 @barzysandhughesbaby @yummygoldenfood @drei-mrssvechii @bananarantanen

[collected-sports-bra]

Sorry for the long post but I wanna talk about Critical Role okay? Okay thank you.

I’ve finally finished Critical Role Campaign 1 and all the specials, and here are my honest thoughts and feelings, as a long time The Adventure Zone fan.

1. I love the cast! Love all the guest stars they bring in! Amazing!

2. Matt is a great DM! There is a reason he is one of the big names in DnD, and he deserves all the praise!

3. The beginning was rough, I barely made it through, but it got much better later on!

4. I mostly liked the characters of Vox Machina. Didn’t like some of their choices, but that’s part of the game. That said, I like Bells Hells much more ;)

5. Great acting! (With TAZ, the McElroys needed some time to get really comfortable, it was refreshing that this was not the case for CR). The CritRole cast absolutely nailed it!

6. The Twitch Chat and the Youtube Comments are absolutely vile (like, Gamergate days vile). It got a bit better as Campaign 1 progressed, but it was still pretty bad, and I applaud the team for powering through it. Especially Marisha!

6. The first arc, not a good choice to start the stream with I think. Neither the characters nor the viewers seemed invested or connected to the storyline (in the end, the characters cared so little that they left poor Kima as a stone statue to go on a pub crawl).

7. The Vasselheim stuff was better, and there were great guest stars, but still pretty forgettable, I was about to give up at this point.

8. The Briarwood Arc came with some of the most memorable villains in Delilah and Sylas, and finally some plot that the characters felt truly invested in - because of the connection via Percy, and then the tree (that fucking tree scene still haunts me).

9. Chroma Conclave - some of my favourite story telling there. The destruction of Emon was amazing, NPCs dying, beloved NPCs nearly dying, yes, thank you! Then collecting all their allies in Whitestone, travelling around to find the Vestiges, facing the dragons, it was awesome! It also felt like the world was “moving” outside of Vox Machina, always in motion and conflicts developing, with NPCs doing stuff in the background, and then the big finale! Amazing!

10. Vecna? Not as interesting to me personally. Great lore and all, but getting the blessings felt a bit like the Hunt for the Vestiges 2.0. Still amazing story and lore, but I liked the Chroma Conclave more.

11. CR is long like super super long there are SO many episodes and they are SO long even if you skip the chatting before and after the game DEAR LORD is it long. Some might say too long. And I am some. I am saying it is too long. For me at least.

12. Exandria as a world is not that interesting to me in Campaign 1, especially Tal’Dorei felt a bit generic, but with every additional CR content I have seen I love it more and they have expanded and I am a big fan now!

13. Random fact: I love how Liam connected his C3 character to the one-off character he played in the last Special.

14. Just putting it out there: with all the overlap now, with guests appearing on both CR and TAZ, can they just give us some big crossover thing already?! Like, is it too much to ask? It would be a glorious disaster, with the McElroys refusing to use any rules they don’t care about, and the CR cast confused by the random cat-named shopkeepers...

There is probably a lot more to say, but overall I enjoyed Campaign 1. I am glad my friends who are CR fans helped me through the beginning, and I am thankful it exists as podcast so I could listen while doing something else like shopping. I am also thankful for the skip function on both my podcatcher and youtube.

I get why people love the show, I do. And I am very invested in Campaign 3 already. The setting is great, the developing story lines around the moon are interesting, and I love all the characters (my favourite is everyone but especially Laudna and Fearn and Chetney and FCG and Imogen and Orym and Ashton).

I think with TAZ: Ethersea currently on break I might get started with Campaign 2 sometime soon.

[sassysnowperson]

Hi, I was just reading Found in the falling, and to this day it is still one of my favourite fanfic. I love how grounded and real it feel, and the relationship with Sam and Bucky was so beautifully written. I just wanted to let you know what a great fic it is, and I really hope I will get to read more of it one day and find out what happens with the boys. But even if you don't never finish it, it will still be one of my favourites. That scene of Sam and Bucky on the porch during their little housewarming party still lives in my head rent free. Anyways thank you and I hope you are having an awesome day 😘

I did not mean to leave this ask for as long as I did, but - that's kinda what's happened with Found in the Falling too 😓

Anon, apologies if this is oversharing, but I was thinking about this, and burnout, and I realized I wanted to talk a little bit more about what's going on with me.

I've been burning out on - everything, really, for years now. I've been juggling a lot of plates, fighting anxieties that ranged from the personal to the global. I have a job I love, and I couldn't do it well, and it was destroying my mental health.

For awhile writing was good coping for that. But then writing went from being the thing that helped me feel creative, alive, and kept me from spiraling to being one more thing I needed to get done. I needed to get myself some breathing room, somehow, so I stopped writing.

It wasn't all bad - I've watched more TV, played more games, listened to more podcasts and audiobooks, and just really enjoyed taking in media, instead of creating. I've tried other types of creativity, spent time sewing and quilting and baking - I am pretty darn good at making a pie crust now!

But I was still burning out.

And then - in July, I got diagnosed with ADHD. I'm in my mid-thirties. This has been a struggle my whole life, and I finally got it named and tried medication.

I'm lucky - right now, the medication *works*. My anxiety dropped, I started getting on top of my work, and all of a sudden there's SPACE in my life again. I don't feel like I'm guttering out in exhaustion, and I'm starting to get more energy again.

Since then I've been catching more and more loose threads I've left hanging (like my tumblr askbox!). Been figuring out the priorities on that one - shoring up relationships that I'd been neglecting, work, but also...writing. I have missed it. I probably won't write as much as I did when it was one of the things keeping me alive, but...that's okay!

This is a very LONG way of saying that yes, I think you will get to read more of it someday. There are some tricky edits I need to make to the draft that I didn't realize when I started posting, and I have not had the headspace to really tackle those. But I want to.

And in the meantime, thank you for letting me know the story resonates with you. I love Sam, and his world, and that story, and I do want to figure out how to resolve it well. 💙💙💙

[itrytowrite-things]

Murder podcasts

Spencer Reid x reader 

Summary: Y/N has a tendency to listen to murder podcasts while doing chores, one day Spencer comes in unannounced scaring Y/N into action. (This summary sucks but it’s fluffy) 

A/N: shout out to @with-paint, she helped me form some of this fic so check them out. 

The eerie background music and narrator filled the kitchen as I scrubbed diligently at a plate. I blinked down at it, trying in vain to remember what the hell I used it for that would cause such a stubborn stain of food. Sighing, I squeezed the soap bottle some more and ran hot water over it. Maybe soaking it would help? 

Grabbing a few of the cups I had washed, I spun around from the sink to a towel I had laid out earlier. I scrunched my nose as cold soap suds ran down my arm, hit my elbow and fell to the floor in a sticky mess I didn’t want to deal with right now. 

I was so engrossed in the podcast playing over the Alexa that I barely even processed the grueling chore that was longer than normal. I was lost in the words, that an hour longer scrubbing at dishes seemed almost fun. The dishwasher had completely died a couple of weeks ago. 

Normally Spencer would speed read the manual to figure out what was wrong with the stupid machine. But unfortunately, his case in Michigan was taking longer than he anticipated. So, he hadn’t been home to look into it, leaving me to hand wash the dishes. I didn’t mind, it was a mindless task and allowed me to catch up on my favorite podcast. 

“They found her body a week later, twenty minutes from their house,” I shook my head at that, case freaking solved. Her husband obviously killed her. I mean there’s no way the police didn’t solve this case, come on.

I moved from the towel back to the sink, sticking my hands back into the soapy water. I always believed that I should be a detective. I could solve these cases easily, Spencer claims that suspicion can only take me so far and the reason that they don’t catch the guy is not because they don’t suspect it, but because they don’t have hard evidence. I normally just scoff and give him a kiss knowing that I would get the bad guy in the end, “hard evidence” my ass. 

“Two months later the police came in and found Jeff’s disembodied head laying on their kitchen counter.” My jaw dropped and I turned around furiously, bringing a wet butter knife with me, on instinct I pointed the knife at the device. 

“Oh shit.” I said to the speaker, as if it were relaying the case itself. Well turns out I was wrong. I cleared my throat and lowered the stupid knife. I placed it down and tried my best to look less scandalized. We all make mistakes. So I might have been a little off in my husband theory, but I mean I had only heard half the case at that point so it doesn’t speak anything of my amazing detective skills. I nodded at that and tossed the knife into a little stack of silverware. The metallic sound echoing around the kitchen. I smirked at my good throw and turned back to the sink. 

I quickly got into the true grove of washing the dishes, listening to the more gruesome details of the case. Turns out the killer did quite a number on old Jeff. I was halfway done with the remaining dishes when I felt a tap on my shoulder sending my heart into a frenzy. 

I whirled around quickly bringing the closest item with me as a weapon. The plastic spatula slapped the asalint straight in the face creating an awfully loud twack sound that bounced off the kitchen walls. I blinked in horror at realizing who exactly was standing in front of me. 

Spencer's cheek turned red immediately. 

“Oh my god! Spence! I am so sorry!” I dropped the spatula and brought my other hand to his face trying to soothe his skin. My hand was covered in water and soap suds, and it dripped down his face onto the already wet floor.

“I am so so sorry. You scared me.” I rubbed my thumb over the spot, feeling his heated skin. Jesus, I felt awful. I didn’t hold anything back when I hit him. I figured I was fending for my life, not greeting my boyfriend. 

“It’s okay.” His much larger hand cupped mine removing it from his face. The redness had died down a little, making his skin a rosy pink instead of the previous bright red. He looked adorable which only made me feel worse. Who looks that cute after getting slapped in the face with a spatula? 

Spencer startled me yet again when a chuckle came bubbling out of him. His laugh was like someone bottled the sound of happiness. It made my own laughter arise every time without a doubt even if I didn’t understand what was funny.

“I guess I don’t have to worry about you protecting yourself.” A loud squeak sound emitted from my body unexpectedly followed by more laughter. I slapped him very lightly across the chest, kissing his unharmed cheek. 

“You're lucky I wasn’t cutting vegetables.” I said,  rustling my way into his arms pulling his body against my tightly, loving the way his laughter shook my entire body. I felt the short press of his lips against the crown of my head before tucking my head into the nook of his neck. I inhaled deeply, taking the scent of him with me. The apartment had started to lose its scent with him being gone for so long. I was beyond eager for the apartment to smell like us again.

“I think those podcasts are giving you wild ideas.” 

“They would never find your body Dr.Reid.” I teased, poking gently at his side making him squirm in my grip. Another round of laughter filled the small space, it was only when it died down that I realized my podcast was still running in the background. 

“Alexa, stop,” I shouted into the air stopping the podcast. “The neighbor did it.” I said with coincidence knowing that my answer was correct this time. Spencer let out a belt of laughter, nodding his head, a big grin on his face. 

I pulled back from Spencer taking in his features for the first time. He looked tired, his eye bags had doubled creating a skunk in effect. I could see the trouble in his eyes, the case was hard. It killed me to see him after a hard case, he looked more and more defeated after each one. However, it was what he loved doing and my job wasn’t to erase the trauma of his job, but to ease him back into daily life. I thumbed his eye bags lazily, a pout taking over my face. 

“You wanna take a shower and I’ll start us some dinner.” I asked gently. Not wanting to completely destroy the quiet we created. He nodded slightly looking younger than ever. I quickly pulled him back into me taking all of his weight. “I love you bub.” His hair felt silky against my fingertips as I disentangled the curls. 

“Love you too.” He mumbled, his heated breath warming my skin. I waited a few comfortable minutes rocking our conjoined bodies in the cozy silence of our kitchen, I took a deep breath and said what was on my mind. 

“You wanna talk about it?”

I don’t ever ask Spencer for the details of his cases. He either goes into a tangent without prompting or doesn’t feel like talking about it. I used to think that talking to Spencer about his job would be like listening to my murder podcasts. It honestly was one of the things I was excited for, but I soon found out it’s nothing like that.

When Spencer spoke of cases it was personal. He felt every death that was caused and saw every killing through the eyes of monsters. He held so much emotion in his voice when he spoke of the victims, that I often can’t help but cry. How a person can hold that much pain and still continue to do it everyday, is beside me. 

He shook his head, squeezing my torso before finally pulling back and placing a soft kiss to my lips. 

I continued the dishes, washing the last few. I left the podcast off, listening instead to the shower from down the hall. I scrubbed off the last of the grime before starting the oven. A simple dinner was always best in these situations. I pulled out a pre-made chicken pot pie from the freezer and placed it in the oven. 

As I moved to dry and put away the dishes while waiting for pie to finish. Spencer emerged from the bathroom freshly bathed. He wore a thin gray shirt paired with some soft looking sweatpants. My upper lip jutted out automatically. God I love him. 

“Feel better?” I kept my voice low, not wanting to startle any peace that the shower might have brought him. He nodded slowly. 

“What did you cook?”

“A chicken pot pie, I hope that’s okay.” 

“It’s perfect.” He smiled and returned to my arms, kissing my neck once before tucking his head into my neck. The edge of his wet hair scraped against my skin in an uncomfortable way, yet I only moved enough to rub circles into his back. 

A loud beep emitted from the oven caused me to jump in Spencer's arms. He let out a small chuckle. 

“Pick us something to watch and I’ll plate us some food.” I hummed turning my back to him. I heard him walking towards the living room as I bent to retrieve the hot food. 

Spencer sat criss cross on the couch, Les Enfants du Paradis was displayed on the TV. I handed him the steaming bowl and sat down, sitting close enough for our knees to knock together. I have no idea what Les Enfants du Paradis was, but I would watch literally anything he wanted as long as he was here. 

“It’s in French, but I figured I could whisper the translations to you while we watch. Or I could pick something else?” 

“No! This is perfect Spence. I love it when you translate, you tell the story better.” He let out a little blush highlighting his previous slap mark. I bit my lip and winced slightly, “How’s your face?” 

He touched the spot faintly, he didn’t wince when his fingers made contact which was a good sign. However, I have an inkling that a small bruise would form in the center of the slap which was going to be a fun story to tell his colleagues Monday. 

“I’ve had worse, but you wield a lot of power with a cheap piece of plastic.”

“I am professionally trained in the art of spatula wielding Spence, don’t try that at home.” I stared at him, my face blank before a blast of laughter came out of both of us. One can only be so serious when you are talking about slapping people in the face with kitchen utensils. 

Spencer started up the movie, and we remained there for the rest of the evening. Laughter and dramatic sighs followed by even more dramatic translations from Spencer. At some point he went so off script that even I could tell his story was bullshit. I didn’t call him out though just allowed him to spit nonsense, I would let him create fake French stories until he was blue in the face if that meant we got to stay in this happy bubble forever.