#(I didn’t like beer then and I don’t like it now)

[steddieas-shegoes]

you and all of your new perspective

for @steddiesongfics using 'new perspective' by noah kahan

also on ao3

rated m | 3,513 words | no cw | tags: rock star eddie munson, good uncle wayne munson, mutual pining, yearning, post-vecna, love confessions, idiots in love, first kiss, implied sexual content, getting together

🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻

He’s looking down at the letter and wondering how the hell he’s supposed to be normal about Eddie visiting him.

In Hawkins.

Where Eddie swore he’d never come back to the moment he got his ticket out of here.

“Starin’ at it ain’t gonna make him not come,” Wayne says from across the counter. “Surprised he didn’t call ya to tell ya.”

“He…he left a few messages,” Steve explains, setting the letter down and resting his face in his hands. “I just figured he wouldn’t come if I didn’t call him back.”

Wayne raises a brow, gives him a look that Steve’s perfectly familiar with by now. Four years of weekly dinners with a man that’s well aware of your feelings for his nephew leads to some knowing looks and light teasing.

“Only reason he’d ever step foot in this town again is for you and you know that,” Wayne says as he opens another beer. He has three every Friday night, but no longer indulges during the week. Ain’t so young anymore, son, and I gotta stay active to keep up with all your chores, he’d told Steve when he asked. Steve thinks the doctor told him to take it easier. “I don’t think he even told the kids.”

“Don’t see why he would. They’re all over. He’s probably seen them on tour.”

Steve tries not to sound bitter. He woke up in his own bed or whatever the saying is. He can’t blame Eddie for doing exactly what he said he would, following his dreams, getting the hell out of Hawkins the moment he could. The kids did the same, but at least they visited.

“Well, they’ve been houndin’ him to come visit you.”

Steve lifts his head. “They what?”

“They just worry ‘bout ya,” Wayne shrugs. “So do I.”

“I went on a date last week! Robin visited two months ago! I see you every Friday!” Steve stands and starts pacing. “I’m gonna go visit Dustin at school in a month. And Will has his freshman exhibition that we’re all trying to meet up at. It’s not like I’m lonely.”

“Son, I think the only person lonelier than you is Eddie,” Wayne gives him that sad smile he gives whenever they talk about Steve’s social life. It’s like he knows it’s pitiful, and he knows Steve knows it’s pitiful, and he’s making sure Steve knows that he knows. “And he’s stubborn as a mule, but he cares too much about ya to let you suffer.”

“Who said anything about suffering?”

“It’s implied by the way the kids talk about you.”

“How’s that?”

“The word hermit has been used a bunch,” Wayne explains. “Now, I’m gonna finish this beer and you’re gonna stop workin’ yourself up over something that’s still days away.”

Steve rushes over to his calendar, holding up the letter, then checking the calendar.

“He’s gonna be here in three days!” Steve yells. “I can’t be ready by then!”

“What the hell do you need to be ready for? It’s just Eddie,” Wayne is smirking again and Steve’s tired of his teasing, but he’s not gonna say anything because it doesn’t do any good to draw more attention to it. “He ain’t expecting a welcome committee. Maybe a balloon or somethin’; You know he likes the show of it all.”

Steve groans.

He does know. Eddie loves dramatics, that’s what makes him such a good performer on stage. That’s what makes him a great DM.

That’s what made Steve fall in love with him.

“I don’t even know where to get balloons,” Steve says, resting his forehead against the wall.

“The new Wal-Mart should have some,” Wayne pats his shoulder. “We watchin’ the game or standing around havin’ a crisis in your kitchen?”

Steve breathes in. He breathes out.

“I’ll have a crisis tomorrow, I guess.”

“That’s my boy!”

++++

The crisis does come the next day, but this time Wayne isn’t there to make it worse or better. He considers calling Robin, but he knows she’ll just tell him to use his good cologne and try not to be weird. He even thinks about calling Dustin, but immediately shuts that down when he remembers that Dustin is the one who called him a hermit to Eddie’s face.

He finds balloons at the store, and adds streamers to the cart on a whim. He’s sure Eddie will love it. Eddie loves that kind of shit.

He also grabs a pie crust and apples because he remembers Eddie saying how much he loves apple pie with vanilla ice cream one time nearly five years ago.

Okay, maybe it’ll be weird that he remembered that.

He goes to put the apples back when Joyce bumps into him as she’s reaching for a bunch of bananas.

“Sorry honey!” She throws her hands out to catch him, even though she’s the one who almost falls. “I wasn’t paying attention. You doing okay?”

“Yeah, how’re you?” Steve gives her a small smile, trying not to show how panicked he is.

“Sweetie, you look stressed. Is something wrong?”

“No! No, just preparing for a guest,” Steve says, unsure if Eddie’s told anyone else in Hawkins he would be visiting and not wanting to ruin any surprises if he intended on doing that.

He doesn’t even know how long Eddie’s staying; He didn’t say in his letter or voicemails. Wayne hasn’t mentioned it either, which means he probably knows exactly how long he’s staying.

“Oh, is Eddie staying with you?” She asks, brows furrowing. “I assumed he was staying with Wayne. I helped him find an apple pie recipe for his visit.”

Steve looks down at the ingredients in the cart, the evidence of what he’s going to make even more obvious now. Joyce’s gaze follows his and she bites back a knowing smile.

“Ah.”

“Ah?” He asks.

“Uh huh,” she says, nodding. “I would make sure to get the green apples. He likes sour more than sweet when there’s ice cream.”

Steve looks over at the green apples and back at the red apples he was planning on buying. Joyce winks at him before she grabs the bananas and starts to walk away.

“Enjoy the visit!”

Steve doesn’t respond.

He grabs six green apples and shoves them in a plastic produce bag.

He’ll make the damn apple pie and Eddie will love it. Steve will pretend the apple pie isn’t filled with the love he can barely contain for the man, and maybe Eddie will enjoy it and leave as if he never came.

Maybe Steve can make it through this visit with dignity.

****

Eddie shows up at three in the afternoon on a Wednesday. Technically, it’s 3:03, but Steve wasn’t watching the clock or anything. That would be ridiculous.

He looks just like he always did, just like Steve expected. He’s smiling, and playing with the ends of his curls. Steve is never gonna make it through this visit with dignity.

“Stevie!” Eddie rushes in for a hug, and it should be more awkward than it is. Eddie didn’t exactly leave on the best of terms with Steve. They really only spoke a handful of times over the last few years, and most of those were forced by Wayne or Dustin. But it’s like he never left, like he’s been hugging Steve every day for years.

Steve soaks it up, falls into it and doesn’t care how it looks. If Eddie has a problem with it, he doesn’t say so. He holds Steve tighter, his breath warm against his neck.

Eventually, Steve invites him inside and it does start to feel awkward.

Eddie’s a rock star now, and despite how normal he looks, he’s different. He’s here to see Steve, but is he here out of guilt that it took him this long to visit or because he actually wants to?

Steve talks about work, and his dinners with Wayne, and spends more time than he should explaining Robin’s degree program even though he knows Robin already talked to Eddie when she got accepted. He goes on and on about what everyone else is up to because his life is pretty boring in comparison and he doesn’t want to bore Eddie away.

“Sounds like everyone’s doing good, but I already knew that,” Eddie eventually says when Steve’s rambled for much longer than he planned. “How are you?”

“I told you, I’m fine,” Steve says. “Kinda boring around here, honestly. How’s the tour been?”

Eddie laughs and Steve tries not to let it hurt. He doesn’t think he means it in the way Steve’s taking it and that’s a Steve problem, not an Eddie problem.

“I called you 37 times,” Eddie says instead of answering him. “Every city we had a show. The first few I figured you were just busy or asleep. I didn’t think about time zones. But then I started to realize you were avoiding me.”

He isn’t mad, or at least he doesn’t look mad, but Steve feels like he needs to apologize anyway.

“Yeah, sorry. After a while, it kinda…”

“Seemed worse to call since it was so long?” Eddie asks, small smile falling from his face when Steve nods. “It’s never a bad thing to hear from friends, though. You could’ve called the bus phone anytime. Left a message. We got an answering machine because Gareth’s mom always calls when we’re on stage.”

“Right. Good to know,” Steve says. Which, it is good to know, but he doesn’t plan on calling unless there’s an emergency. He can’t look as desperate as he feels and if he calls once, he’ll call twice, and then a hundred times. “What city was your favorite so far?”

Eddie tilts his head, looks him over for a moment before responding. “I liked Boston. All the kids were front row. Except El, she somehow got backstage. Still not sure how. Missed you, though.”

Steve feels his face heat up at the words. Eddie always said things in a flirty way, even though he doesn’t really mean it that way. Steve can’t let himself think that he means it that way.

“It’s a pretty big trip, so. I couldn’t miss work.”

It’s a shit excuse because he absolutely could miss work. It’s a grocery store in a small town, and he doesn’t care that much about it.

“They couldn’t find someone to cover a couple days for you?” Eddie sounds hurt now, and Steve can’t let him think that he’s the problem.

“I didn’t ask. I-” Steve has to be brave now. Wayne’s voice is in his head telling him to just tell Eddie why he’s been so distant, why he hasn’t been the one to reach out. “I was scared to go.”

This seems to throw Eddie off balance. His eyes squint and forehead wrinkles adorably as he tries to do mental gymnastics to find out why Steve of all people would be scared to visit him. Steve is known for throwing himself in the line of fire, being the first one to step in when everyone else is scared. Too bad this type of courage is different.

“Are you scared of flying? I didn’t know, maybe we could have figured out a hired car.”

“No, I don’t mind flying,” Steve admits.

“Then…why were you scared?”

“Because if I let you in, you’ll see how much I miss you and if you see how much I miss you, you’ll see how much I love you. And then you’d never wanna have me around and it would be just like everyone else I love who leaves because I’m not enough to keep them around,” Steve lays his head back against the couch. The Wayne voice in his head is suspiciously quiet.

So is Eddie.

Steve isn’t going to talk anymore; He’s said enough.

Eddie’s hand covers Steve’s. It’s warm and surprisingly soft, and bigger than Steve’s. He never realized that before, not even when he held his hand while he was in the hospital after Vecna or when he watched him play guitar for hours while he was trying to gain his confidence back.

“People don’t leave because you aren’t enough, Steve. They leave because the world is big and they want to be a part of it. Everyone wants you to do that, too,” Eddie says softly, carefully. “I think most of the kids hoped you’d leave Hawkins once they did. Dustin thought you’d come on tour with me.”

“Why would he think that?” Steve doesn’t remember ever having a conversation with Dustin that would make him think that, but his memory isn’t the best.

Eddie’s lips curl up into a smile and he leans forward.

“You know you’re incredibly obvious, right?” Eddie whispers even though they’re alone and there’s no need to be quiet. “You’ve always been easy to read.”

“What does that mean? Read what?”

“You wear your heart on your sleeve and it’s been right there with Eddie written across it since I was in the hospital, sweetheart.” Eddie points to Steve’s arm. He looks down as if he would be able to see the heart Eddie’s talking about. “You’re an open book.”

The timer in the kitchen goes off and Steve jumps up. He rushes to the oven, grateful for the distraction.

“Is that apple pie?” Eddie asks from a few feet away. Steve really should’ve known he would follow him.

“Yes, it’s gotta be perfect.”

“You made apple pie for me?”

Eddie’s right behind him now, and when he turns, there’s no space between them at all. Steve smells the airport on him, the rental car, the cologne he’s worn since Steve bought it for him before he left Hawkins.

He looks up and sees the years that have passed in smile lines on Eddie’s face, in a single gray hair that Eddie’s probably keeping because it makes him look cool. Steve hasn’t found any gray hairs yet, but he’s only 25. Eddie always said Wayne went completely gray by 30, so his genetics wouldn’t be as kind to him. Steve kinda hopes he’s right. Eddie would be beautiful with gray curls.

“Just like I said: heart on your sleeve,” Eddie whispers, leaning in until his lips are just barely brushing against Steve’s.

He’s waiting for Steve, to see if he’ll finally give in after years of near-silence, after whatever flirty and semi-codependent friendship they had before Eddie left to be a rock star.

Steve’s spent enough time waiting, and he thinks Eddie probably has, too.

His lips press against Eddie’s, sure of their movements despite the anxiety crawling through his chest and the unfamiliar taste of him on his tongue.

It’s full of hunger even though it only lasts a few seconds. Steve’s wanted this, wanted him, for so long, he puts everything he has into this moment. If it’s all he gets, he wants it to be perfect.

“You’re kissing me like you’re sending me off to war,” Eddie says when they’ve caught their breath.

“Feels like I am,” Steve admits, corner of his mouth turning up in a sad smile. “At least a little.”

“I think the odds of me dying on stage are probably extremely slim,” Eddie laughs. Steve doesn’t laugh with him. “Steve? What’s wrong?”

Steve pulls himself away, ignoring the way his chest aches at the separation. He’ll have to get used to that when Eddie leaves.

“You have a whole new life. You’re a rock star, Ed. I can’t force my feelings on you now.”

“Who said you forced anything on me?”

“I made you apple pie!” Steve exclaims, pulling away so he can breathe again. Having Eddie in his space alters his brain chemistry, maybe his DNA. “I bought all your favorite things so I could try to convince you I’m worth staying for, even though I can’t compare to going on a world tour with your band. I cleaned out the guest room and made sure I put your favorite shampoo in the shower as if you would even notice that. As if it would be enough to keep you around.”

Eddie steps closer, but Steve steps back.

“Your life is different now. It’s good. I wouldn’t add anything to it, and I don’t know why I even tried to make it seem like I would.”

Eddie steps closer, and there’s nowhere for Steve to go. He’s boxed in against the counter, and Eddie’s face is red with anger. He’s not scared– he could never be scared of Eddie– but he does swallow around a lump in his throat and try to take a deep breath to calm his racing heart.

“My life is different now, you’re right about that. My life doesn’t even feel like mine most days. I belong to fans, and the guys, and the record label. But you know what does feel like mine?” Eddie leans in close enough that his breath is hot against Steve’s face. “How much I love you. How much I have always loved you. You’ve always felt like mine, Steve.”

It’s a hell of a confession, and definitely not what Steve expected from this visit.

The Wayne voice in his head decides to speak again. Except this time, it’s something he’s said to Steve in person before.

He’s surrounded by people, but he seems pretty lonely. Kinda like he still needs a certain someone.

Steve’s brows crinkle as he thinks about the words Wayne said after a phone call with Eddie during the first part of his first tour nearly two years ago. The words were accompanied by a look that Steve has since come to recognize as his sad puppy look.

The same one Eddie’s giving him now.

Steve can’t help it; He laughs.

“You and Wayne could bottle that look and sell it to people who need someone to feel bad for ‘em,” Steve says. He cups Eddie’s cheek in his palm, rubs his thumb against the angry red that turns into a flushed pink. “I don’t know how you could love me-”

“Steve-”

“But!” Steve interrupts. “I know you wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t mean it. And you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want to be. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have taken the time to come back here at all, let alone stay with me. I won’t understand it, but I’ll believe it.”

“That was easier than Wayne said it would be,” Eddie’s smile grows slowly, lighting up his face and the room.

“He’s been buttering me up for years,” Steve shrugs.

“Doing all the hard work, more like,” Eddie leans forward, rests his forehead against Steve’s. “He must’ve been sick of hearing me yearn for your love.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “You know, you could have come back sooner. You didn’t have to wait until I was convinced I’d be alone forever.”

“And you could have called me to let me know I could visit sooner.” Eddie pokes the tip of his nose with his finger, smirking as he leans away to look back at the apple pie on the oven. “Especially if I could’ve been having apple pie on every break.”

“It might not even be good,” Steve says as he wraps his arms around Eddie’s waist.

“Is there vanilla ice cream?” Eddie pecks his lips.

“Mhm,” Steve kisses his cheek. “And you can have some if you promise to sit down and tell me everything about the band.”

“You wanna waste time hearing about Gareth drooling over every woman who looks his way? We could be making love on the couch.”

Steve raises a brow. “We won’t be making love anywhere but my bed. And it won’t be until we’ve talked more.”

“Fiiiine,” Eddie rolls his eyes, but grabs for the pie cutter on the counter. “Cut me a piece of pie and I’ll do my best to resist taking all your clothes off.”

“I never said you couldn’t do that,” Steve grabs the pie cutter.

“So I can take your clothes off?”

“Shirt only. And after pie…we’ll talk.”

“I thought after pie we’d be done talking.”

“How long are you staying?” Steve asks as he puts the slice of pie onto the plate and hands it to Eddie.

“Four days.”

Steve tilts his head side to side, considering what he can accomplish in four days.

In any other situation, he might be worried about how quickly he throws off his shirt. In any other situation, he would probably insist on talking to Robin before throwing his heart on the plate next to the scoop of ice cream Eddie just put next to his steaming slice of pie. In any other situation, he would take things slow and get to know rock star Eddie who left Hawkins to be someone.

But he’s finding that he’s okay with speed-running things.

He’s got a new perspective on Eddie’s visit, and maybe a new perspective on what their future will look like.

Steve drops his pants. Eddie’s eyes widen.

“Eat your pie. We’ll talk while we make love on the couch.”

[astrxsee]

so this is actually happening to me irl but it’s so john price coded i had to write it down.

older!bowler!john x younger!bartender!reader

you sigh as you open your car door, the cold air immediately hitting your face. the lights of the bowling alley up the dark january night. for some extra money and because you have time, you bartend wednesday nights at the local alley.

you spend your time restocking coolers, gossiping with your coworkers, and selling beer to the rowdy crowd of league bowlers. they were all at least twenty five years older than you, but god, they tipped well when you flirted with them.

they’d ask you about your life, nodding along while you grabbed them their order. you’ve basically memorized their orders by now, the 5 hours you’re there going by quickly and smoothly. that is, until he walks up to the bar.

a large smile on his face as he boldly makes a teasing comment about your favorite sports team. you quickly roll your eyes at him as he quietly mutters his order to you like he needs to tell you with a wink, your eyes meeting his.

you quickly rush to make his bucket of miller lites, you and him the only ones at the counter. just by the heat, you can just tell your face is flushed.

“you turning into a alcoholic now, john?” you ask teasingly, nodding your head in the direction of the clock. it was getting late, he usually didn’t order at this time.

he lets out a loud bark of laughter, rolling his eyes. a smile on his face as his eyes follow you’re much smaller frame. you lean forward into the cooler, and you don’t miss how his eyes snap down to your chest.

“says you.” he mutters out, leaning his beefy arms against the bar. he raises his eyebrows in curiosity, waiting to see how you’ll respond.

your face takes on a look of faux surprise, glossed lips letting out a scoff. the hand that doesn’t close the cooler goes up to your chest in hurt.

“sir, I have never had a sip of alcohol in my life.” voice sounding sassier that you meant to. his eyebrows drop and a sly smile comes onto his handsome face.

“are you even old enough to drink?” john’s voice comes out a bit lower now, his head tilting teasingly. you see his large hands come to hold himself up against the bar, your eyes flicking down to see his forearms flexing underneath his flannel.

“yeah!” you chirp, a giggle escaping your lips as you place the bucket of beer on the counter. the bucket clinks as your eyes meet with his, “i’m 21.”

“oh, so you’re old enough for me to flirt with you?” john asks, leaning even closer to you over the counter. you giggle, the flush on your face becoming hot. no one had ever flirt with you before like that, you just couldn’t help but to get flustered.

“oh, stop..” you say biting your lip, immediately avoiding his gaze. grabbing the towel to your left, you make a shooing motion with your hand. “but, yes, im old enough.”

“good, because you’re beautiful, so it’s a win for me.” he mutters out, your eyes meeting his. the look you give the older man told him all he needed to know. your eyes dipped low as he grabbed the bucket and stepped away from the counter. you definitely miss the way he has to rearrange himself in his pants as he walks away.

[chdarling]

ok so, I can't, like, set a precedent for every time there is a catastrophic event in my country I post a TLE spoiler because let's be real, that's gonna be every day for the next four years at least and I only have so many non-major-spoilery TLE bits to share. But I'm making my way through an emergency bottle of prosecco and texting my friends about how in the face of the endless onslaught of late stage capitalism, fanfic -- a community built purely around love and joy and not a single drop of money being exchanged -- is in a small way something radical and precious and dare I say holy (did I mention I was drunk) and that should be honored on today of all fucking days, and ALSO we should all spend less time staring at gifs of that evil-ass motherfucker doing nazi salutes and more time crafting joy and creating community with each other so

here is a lil snippet from TLE3

as with all my spoiler snippets, I reserve the right to completely rewrite this before the final draft because honestly this was mostly an exercise in me learning how to craft sentences again mid-burnout, but!!!! here, have a lil moment of joy, maybe. i love you.

Excerpt from The Last Enemy: Marauders’ End

“So, what do you think?”

Sirius turned expectantly to his best mate, who stood beside him as the boys peered through the doorway of Sirius’s second bedroom. The room had been unoccupied at the time of Sirius moving into this flat a few weeks ago. Now…it decidedly was not.

“Er…” said James, who did not quite seem to know how to answer the question.

“Her name is Lola,” Sirius added in a reverent tone.

“She has a name, does she?”

“Of course she has a name, you pig.”

“Right,” said James. “Well, then frankly, I’m a bit hurt you moved out and left me for Lola.”

Sirius knocked his shoulder against James’s. “Come on. I didn’t leave you. We’ve been over this. I’m of age, I was going to have to get my own place eventually.”

“Yeah, okay, sure, but you barely made it a month before you shacked up with your new flatmate, Lola.”

Sirius grinned. “She’s sexy, isn’t she?”

“She’s…very shiny.”

“She’s the goddamn love of my life.”

“Okay, ‘she’ is a motorbike, mate. You’ve gone completely batty.”

Sirius laughed and strode further into the room where indeed the Muggle motorbike had been set up, dominating the space. It was a thing of beauty, all sleek lines and silver glint. The floor around the motorbike was haloed with the detritus of Sirius’s last few delicious days: all sorts of mechanical bits and bobs, empty beer bottles, an ashtray, a crumpled up bag of crisps, a few oily rags, and a confusion of Muggle tools, the names of which Sirius kept mixing up — a socket wrench, he thought that one was called. The spare bed that had once been the primary feature of this room — a springy mattress James had transfigured for the nights he was too pissed to apparate home (“Mum won’t mind, she put the security spells on your flat herself.”) — had been shoved into the corner to make room for this new sacred altar.

James did not seem as impressed with Sirius’s new acquisition as he felt his friend ought to be. “You’re just jealous,” Sirius told him, “that you’ve never known a love so true.”

“Ha. Touché.”

Sirius pulled a rag from his back pocket and began to lovingly polish a spot on the seat of the motorbike.

“You know,” said James, still observing from his post at the doorway, “I’m not sure it’s healthy, you spending so much time by yourself.”

“What time by myself?” laughed Sirius. “You’re here almost every day.”

This was true. Hardly a day had passed so far this summer that James hadn’t found a reason to come by. Not that Sirius minded. Though he’d never admit it, he liked living on his own rather less than he’d expected.

“Yeah, well…” James strode closer to inspect the motorbike. “Someone has to make sure you don’t go completely bonkers, all on your own here. Lola, I ask you. You know, if you start talking to the bike, mate, I’m hauling you off to St. Mungo’s too.”

Sirius leaned down and whispered to the handlebars: “Don’t listen to the mean man, Lola. I’d never leave you.”

James sat down on the spare bed with a mournful creak. “Besides,” he said, “Potter House is too quiet now, with you gone and dad all…entombed. Some days I think if I don’t get out, I’m the one who will go bonkers.”

Sirius turned back to his friend, suddenly somber. “Hey, you know I’m just joking, right? You’re always welcome over here. I love having you here.”

“Yeah,” said James, though the faintest tint of melancholy compromised his credulity. Sirius watched as James plucked an oil-stained rag from the bed, sniffed it, then tossed it aside with a wrinkled nose.

“How are things…?” Sirius ventured. “With your dad?” Fleamont Potter’s health had been in steady decline for years, but last Christmas things had taken a turn for the worse. The diagnosis seemed to be simply that he was old…though Sirius had a hard time wrapping his head around that. “Have things gotten any better?”

“No,” said James shortly. “And they’re not going to. It is what it is.” He glared at the wall for a brief moment, then sighed — a deep, intentional sigh, as though exhaling all his miseries in order to transform himself back to Sirius’s good-natured friend. “So…does she work?”

“The fuck d’you mean, ‘does she work?’”

“Well,” said James, “it hasn’t escaped my notice that the bike is in your spare bedroom, rather than, say, on the street. So either you and Lola have a far kinkier relationship than I care to know about…or she doesn’t work.”

A pause.

“She’s a work in progress, okay?”

“Knew it,” grinned James.

“Hey, have some respect,” said Sirius. “I’m fixing her up myself. It’s far cooler than just buying some shiny toy from a shop. This is my bike. Mine. I’ll make her fly, just you wait.” He stroked the bike handle. “Isn’t that right, Lola?”

“Yep,” sighed James. “Completely bonkers.”

[weirdglassthing]

Probably all of the thirteen beers at the local cheese drawings I’ll do but these two are so funnnnn

[solarhysm]

DUST OF US - 06

> synopsis: 7 years ago Y/N broke Jungkook’s heart when she decided to end their relationship without an explanation. When they meet again at a friend's wedding, after almost a decade, Jungkook needs answers to move on.

> pairing: Jungkook x reader

> genre: romance, ex to lovers au

> warnings: explicit languages, violence, smut, cheating, nsfw, angst, +18 minors dni !!

> word count: 4.6k

*french writer, i apologize in advance for my awful english!

If this is a dream, Jungkook doesn’t want to wake up. His eyes never leave your face as you tell him a story about you and your friends. After that kiss, you both decided to take a walk along the shore. Jungkook knows you’ve always liked the feeling of sand under your feet, even in the cold. He carries your boots, happy to do so, while you walk beside him, occasionally digging your toes into the sand.

He thought you would reject him when he kissed you out of nowhere. But you didn’t. Now, all he wants is to kiss you again. He’s dying to. But he doesn’t want to push his luck. If you want to kiss him, you will. He hopes you will. His eyes drop to your hand, brushing against his with every step. His fingers twitch. Not yet. Play it cool.

As if reading his mind, you hand him the bottle of soju you’ve been sharing, giving him something to do with his hands. He takes a sip and nods, silently thanking you.

“And Hwan ended up covered in Hyesun’s last meal,” you laugh, but he hasn’t been paying attention to the story. Jungkook is just smiling at the sound of your laughter. “But she’s a good friend. Even after Hyesun threw up on her, she kept taking care of her.”

“You’re pretty,” Jungkook whispers, and you freeze, eyes widening.

“I—You can’t say stuff like that out of nowhere,” you mumble, looking away to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks.

Jungkook has always said what’s on his mind, whether people liked it or not. And you know that. Once you’re far enough from the nightclubs and prying eyes, the two of you sit on the sand, staring at the shore.

“Alright,” you sigh, pulling a plastic bag between you. “We’ve gotta finish all of this before the sun rises.” You challenge him, and he smirks.

“Easy.”

A soft smile stretches across his lips as he watches you take out two beers and another bottle of soju. You clink your drinks together and take a sip.

“I’m surprised you didn’t make friends in Japan,” you say, breaking the silence.

“I did, actually,” Jungkook replies, burying the bottom of his beer bottle in the sand. He pulls his legs against his chest and takes a deep breath. “Kentaro is visiting me next month. If you behave, I’ll introduce him to you.”

You roll your eyes playfully, licking your lips. His big brown eyes follow the way your tongue traces your lips before he looks away. He knows you want to ask something, and he tilts his head, encouraging you.

“Stop that,” you groan, and he chuckles.

“You want to ask me about girls?”

“I never said that,” you retort, hiding behind your beer.

“You don’t need to. It’s written all over your face,” Jungkook laughs, stretching out. “What about you?”

He likes that he can still read you so easily.

“You didn’t answer,” you say, tilting your head in his direction.

“Hm... I had my fair share of girls, to be honest. But not in the first couple of years.”

“Really?”

“Hm.” He hums again. “Wait, are we talking about serious relationship?”

“All type.” You reply, leaning on your elbows.

“I had… two serious relationships. And a bunch of flings. Mostly flings actually. The heart wasn’t there for more.”

“Two?” You ask like it’s all you keep in mind.

“Yeah. You and a girl named Hina,” Jungkook nods, watching as you draw shapes in the sand. “And you?”

“No one since you. I mean, I had a few flings. And some one-night stands,” you say, and he arches a brow, surprised and amused.

“Look at that. Didn’t you become a bold one?” He jokes. “What a shame, a pretty girl like you, still single.”

“Shut up,” you chuckle, nudging his shoulder. “Maybe that’ll change. I’m sort of in a situationship right now. He wants more.”

“And you?”

“I don’t know. He’s nice.” You shrug, and Jungkook frowns.

“Nabi, don’t force yourself. I mean... who am I to give advice, right?” He laughs awkwardly before turning to look at you. “But I want you to be happy. And if you’re not sure that guy can give you what you want, don’t date him.”

“If I’m being honest...” You pause, and Jungkook gives you his full attention, sitting up straighter. “I’m scared to end up alone. I’m too... complicated. Most of the guys I had after you hated my attitude. But Baekhyun? He just embraces it. He supports me, accepts that I’m not ready to date, and waits for me.”

“That’s not enough. You shouldn’t accept the bare minimum,” Jungkook says, and you shake your head. “You deserve someone who’ll worship you.”

“Easy for you to say. Girls have been chasing you since we were teens.”

“Not the one I want,” he whispers, looking down at his beer as your eyes fall on his side profile. “you’re hard to live with, you’re stubborn with a big mouth and a taste for fights, I won’t deny that.” Jungkook teases and you slap his shoulder "But I also know that once you love, you give everything. If a man can’t get past your tough shell, he doesn’t deserve your love."

"Since when did you become a psychologist?"

"Tonight," he jokes. "Give me one more hour and a few beers, and I’ll be able to read your palm." He grins as you smile. "But I’m serious. Don’t settle for Baekhyun if you think he’s just convenient or your last option. Agreeing with everything you say? That’s not love."

You roll your eyes, making him smile wider.

"Then find me a guy who can handle me," you challenge playfully. Jungkook smirks, gesturing to himself. You laugh, shaking your head. "You should hate me."

"I don’t."

"I said you should." You lift a finger in the air, and he chuckles.

"Who’s Baekhyun, anyway?" Jungkook asks teasingly, his shoulder bumping into yours.

"You’ve met him," you muse, tilting your head to meet his gaze. "My assistant. The other tattoo artist."

"What?" Jungkook gasps playfully. "That kid? How old is he, eighteen?"

"Stop!" You laugh, punching his arm. "He’s twenty-three."

"I always knew you liked them young. I mean, I’m younger—"

"I’m older by a few weeks!"

"Cougar," Jungkook teases, and you roll your eyes. He won’t lie—he’s seen Baekhyun, and something about him seemed off. Or maybe it’s just jealousy because that kid has you and he doesn’t. "Do you change his diapers, too?"

"I’m done with this conversation," you huff, turning your head away while Jungkook bursts into laughter.

"Come on, Nabi, I’m just joking."

And yet, Jungkook is wondering if that Baekhyun knows you as much as he did once upon a time. Does he know that you hate to sleep on the right side of the bed? Or how you have a hard time focusing if there’s too much people around you, how you hate wearing nails polish. Does he know how to make those pretty sounds come out of your mouth when you’re in bed? And mostly, does he know how you love and the look you used to give him? Do you give the same look to that kid?

"Do you remember the last time we were at a beach in Busan?" you ask suddenly.

"Before we left for Seoul," Jungkook says softly, his eyes falling to his hands around his beer.

"We talked about the future," you add, a small smile tugging at your lips.

"I remember." Jungkook nods, his gaze following yours to the shore. "A big house, two kids, a cat, and a dog."

"Hm." You smile, pressing your lips together. His eyes drift back to your face. "Where would we be if… we had stayed together?"

"Married, for sure," Jungkook replies, finishing his beer. "Maybe you’d be pregnant with our first baby."

The thought makes you smile, and Jungkook’s lips curl into a soft smile too. He’s imagined it so many times—how beautiful you’d look with a round belly, glowing with happiness.

"Or maybe we’d be right where we are now," you say, taking a sip of your drink. "Maybe we were meant to be apart."

"I don’t believe that," Jungkook says, almost too quickly. "Our story wasn’t over."

"What makes you so sure?" you ask, arching a brow and Jungkook clenches his jaw, turning his attention to you.

"I didn’t fight for us because you disappeared that day. But I wanted to," he admits, and you chuckle bitterly.

"That’s why I disappeared." You shrug like it’s nothing. "I knew if I saw you again, you’d try to fix things, and I’d give in."

"That’s why you just… left our apartment and changed your number?" he frowns, and you nod, biting the inside of your cheek. He hates how casually you say it, like it didn’t tear him apart.

He hated that place without you in it. He hated that your left side of the bed still smelled like you even after he changed the sheets, how he could still hear you humming in the kitchen like you were cooking for both or how the couch felt cold without you cuddling against him during your movie nights.

"Do you even know… how it felt to come home and find our place half-empty?”  He starts before hardly swallowing. “How I had to sleep in a bed that still smelled like you for weeks before I gave the keys back to the landlord? Fuck, Nabi… Do you have any idea how hard it was to live without you when I was so used to having you around all the time?" Jungkook shakes his head, hiding his face in his hands. "I thought it was the end of the world."

His admission makes you blink a few times as you look down, and Jungkook suddenly feels guilty when he sees you wiping your cheek.

“I’m sorry.” You say with a little voice. “I’m sorry…I – I thought you’d be better off without me."

“Says who?” He frowns, upset, shaking his head. “I was better with you.”

"I didn’t want to leave you," you admit before your emotions overwhelm you, and tears spill from your eyes, making Jungkook freeze. What is he supposed to do now? He didn’t mean to make you cry. He just wanted to have a good evening with you, but now you’re sobbing. What an idiot. "I never wanted to leave you."

"Y/N…"

 “I –“ You swallow a sob. “I did it for you.” You shake your head and he frowns a little while you wipe your cheeks and take a deep breath.

"How… breaking up with me…?" Jungkook whispers, unable to finish his sentence.

He hates seeing you cry, but he knows that if he tries to comfort you, you would just push him away.

“I…I tried to help you.” You pinch your lips together. “That university in Tokyo accepted you. You were going to waste that opportunity just to stay with me."

Jungkook’s frown deepens. He never told you he was going to turn down the offer in Tokyo. And like you read his mind you let out a watery chuckle.

“I heard your conversation with Jimin.” you explain, and Jungkook freezes, a wave of anger rising inside him. “I couldn’t let you refuse that to work as a simple cashier, Kook. I couldn’t let you waste your life for me.”

Jungkook lets out a sour chuckle before getting up, his fists clenched at his sides. All this time, he thought that he did something wrong. All this time he thought that you left him because he said something that hurt you enough to breaking up with him.

“And who are you to decide for me?” He almost spits as you stay sitting on the sand, looking at him. “We were a team, remember? We were supposed to talk about it. Make it work!”

“Jungkook.” You say softly, getting on your knees but he takes a step back.

"All this time…" he mutters, shaking his head as a sob escapes. "Fuck... All this time, I thought it was my fault."

"I’m sorry."

"Sorry won’t fix seven wasted years!" he barks, and you struggle to get up, both of you drunk.

"Kook…"

"No." He shakes his head, wiping his face. "I fucking loved you with everything I had. I wanted to spend my life with you, build a future with you. If you had just talked to me, we could’ve made it work! You were the only one I ever listened to."

“Jungkook.” You repeat as you try to reach his hand but he takes another step back. “How was that supposed to work?” You frown and he rolls his eyes, looking away. “You were about to live new experiences. I would’ve been the girlfriend stuck in your hometown. How long would it have taken before you left me?"

"Don’t twist this into being my fault, Y/N," he warns, jaw clenched. "The distance, the new experiences—that’s bullshit, and you know it."

“I know that you needed your freedom.” You bite back and his teeth close on his tongue to not say something hurtful. “That’s why I didn’t want to reconnect with you. I knew how all of this would end.” You mumble, gathering your stuff and he can clearly see how hurt you are.

“I needed you.” He says more softly, but you don’t listen, tying your hair into a ponytail before catching your witch hat. “Nabi.” He stops you, standing right behind you.

"I get it, Jungkook. I do," you say without looking at him, trying to hold back tears, but he can hear the quiver in your voice. You're close to breaking.

“Nabi.” He repeats as you stand up, your hands full of your things.

"I never asked you to come back into my life," you snap, finally turning to face him, shaking your head. "I never asked you to kiss me earlier. I think it’s time to say goodbye for good."

"No." Jungkook's voice is firm as his fingers close around your arm. Even when you try to pull away, his grip tightens. “I won’t let that happen.”

You let out a dry chuckle, turning to face him, both of you frowning.

"You must be pretty stupid to still want me," you say, trying to swat his hand away, but he pulls you closer instead.

"I know what you’re doing. You’re being mean to protect yourself. It won’t work. We’re going to talk." His voice rises a little. "You always run when things get complicated. Not this time."

"Let me go, Jungkook."

"Not before we figure this out."

"There’s nothing to figure out!" you bark, but he only pulls you closer, his hand firm on your arm.

"Talk to me, Y/N," he says, his voice louder than yours now.

"I did! And you got mad at me!" You groan, feeling your frustration grow. He takes a deep breath, softening his features.

"It’s not too late."

"What?!"

"Us. It’s not too late," Jungkook whispers, and you stare at him, blinking in disbelief. "Yes, I’m upset with you. But that’s because I know... I know we could have made this work."

"How?" you ask, your tone softer now, no longer fighting him off.

"I could have… taken the ferry to see you during my holidays. You could’ve visited me. There’s always a solution, Nabi." He tilts his head, trying to meet your gaze.

"You were free," you reply, and he shakes his head.

"I didn’t want that," Jungkook chuckles sadly, finally letting go of your arm. "If you really want to leave, then go. I won’t stop you anymore, Nabi."

He looks at you as none of you break the eye contact. Will you leave? He doesn’t want to force you to anything. But you don’t move. And he hopes that you’re not playing him.

"Fuck," he laughs humorlessly, running a hand through his hair. "You’re the only woman who can shatter me, and I’ll still come running after you."

"I thought I was helping you," you murmur, biting your tongue, looking down at your feet. "I didn’t want to leave. I..." Your voice breaks, and you begin to sob. "I didn’t want to hurt you."

Jungkook stays silent, his fists clenching at his sides to stop himself from pulling you into his arms. God, he wants to. He needs to comfort you, but he knows you’ll push him away.

"I put my own feelings aside to let you live your dream," you sniff, hiding your face in your hands. Jungkook’s vision blurs as his eyes fill with unshed tears.

"I was going to ask you to marry me," Jungkook whispers, followed by an awkward chuckle. When you lift your tear-filled eyes to meet his, he shrugs. "The day you left me... I was going to ask you to be my wife."

And it’s too much to bear. You break in tears as he looks away, wiping his cheek. He hates seeing you cry. He hates being unable to comfort you like he used to.

“I didn’t plan to see you again when I came back. I was scared to find out you were happily married to someone who wasn’t me.” He continues, eyes fixed on an empty soju bottle half-buried in the sand. “But I saw you at Hyesun’s wedding and… fuck, you were so pretty.”

“Stop.” You shake your head, taking a step back because it’s probably too much to hear but he takes a deep breath and close the distance.

"I knew I had to try, Nabi," he says, cupping your face in his hands. "Because there’s no one else for me but you."

"Jungkook," you protest weakly, trying to push him away half-heartedly.

"Stop fighting it," he whispers, pressing his forehead to yours. "Tell me you want this too."

"I…” You start but Jungkook muffles your next words with a kiss.

He isn’t trying to force you, but when you kiss him back, he pulls you closer. The kiss tastes of salt, from your tears and his. Jungkook has kissed many girls after you, but none of them ever made him feel like this. He softly nips at your bottom lip, creating a gap to slide his tongue into your mouth, meeting yours. It’s a passionate kiss, desperate. He wants you to feel how much he needs you. When you relax into him, your fingers threading through his hair and pulling him closer, he smiles against your mouth. But when the need for air becomes overwhelming, he reluctantly pulls back, his nose nuzzling against yours.

"Stay with me tonight. Don’t go home," he murmurs, gently wiping the remnants of your tears from your cheeks.

When you nod, his smile widens, and he pulls you into a tight hug, his nose buried in your hair. He missed your warmth. He missed how right it felt to have you in his arms. He doesn’t know how long you stayed like that, but when the cold started to bite at your skin, he pulled back. Grabbing both of your things, he offered his hand to you, which you shyly took. He couldn’t hide his excitement at the thought of keeping you with him tonight.

"You’re not walking straight," you chuckle as you make your way to his hotel.

"I’m drunk, Nabi. Sue me," he jokes, his fingers intertwined with yours as he playfully bumps his shoulder against yours.

Jungkook didn’t rush you once you were in his room. He handed you a fresh pair of joggers and one of his shirts while he waited, sneaking glances at the bathroom door. He even turned off his phone to make sure nothing interrupted your time together. When you came out of the bathroom, he smirked. He had gotten bigger since the last time you borrowed his clothes, and now you looked like a kid in oversized clothing. He found it adorable.

“What?” you ask looking down at your outfit, straightening your shirt –well, his.

"Nothing," he shrugs, still smirking.

Your nose is still slightly rosy from crying earlier, but somehow, it adds to your charm, Jungkook thinks. He gets up and grabs his clothes from the sofa, heading to the bathroom.

“Make yourself comfortable,” he says softly as he walks past you.

Jungkook needs to calm down. He closes the bathroom door and takes a deep breath before jumping in place with excitement. He takes off his shirt and turns to the mirror, grinning at his reflection.

Alright. Breathe. Play it cool. She’s the same, Jungkook.

He pinches his lips together to stop himself from smiling too widely. He feels like he’s seventeen again, on his first date with you. He never thought you’d let him spend more time with you, let alone kiss you like that. He takes another deep breath and looks down at his pants.

“Don’t embarrass me,” he murmurs to himself before turning on the water, excited to join you again, to hold you in his arms.

When he steps out of the bathroom, his damp hair falling over his forehead and neck, he finds you sitting on the edge of the bed, scrolling on your phone.

“Are you hungry? We can order something to eat,” Jungkook suggests, closing the distance between you.

“No,” you say, locking your phone and tossing it on the bed. “But if you are, you can—”

“I’m not hungry,” Jungkook cuts in, putting his hands on his hips.

Both of you stare at each other in silence. It’s awkward, and neither of you knows what to say. Jungkook clears his throat nervously, and you giggle when he hums a tune, making him frown slightly and turn to you. Then, out of nowhere, you burst into laughter, falling back onto the bed, your hands on your stomach.

“What’s so funny, huh?” He smiles, amused, as you cover your mouth with your hand, shaking your head.

“Sorry,” you giggle, trying to calm yourself. “It’s just weird. What are we, sixteen? Why are you so nervous?”

Your laughter makes his smile grow as he cages you with his arms, placing both hands on either side of your body.

“You’re mocking me, seriously, Nabi?” he teases with a grin as you sit up, shaking your head.

“Sorry, sorry,” you say, pressing your lips together to stop smiling, then lift your eyes to meet his.

Jungkook’s eyes widen when your puppy-like gaze locks with his. He swallows, leaning closer, dying to kiss you, but he doesn’t want to push it. You smile at his nervousness, and he knows you can read his thoughts—just like you always did. For the first time, you close the distance and press your lips to his.

The only contact is your mouths. His fists grip the sheets on either side of you, trying to resist the urge to touch you more. But your hands trail up his arms to cup his face, pulling him closer. His resolve crumbles the moment your fingers bury themselves in his hair, pulling him down onto the bed with you. He hovers over you, careful not to crush you, one leg between yours as his hands trace the curves of your waist, still over his shirt.

“I’m not made of dust, I won’t crumble and disappear if you touch me.” You laugh against his mouth and he hums shyly.

“I’m not scared of that,” he whispers, trailing kisses along your jaw, his fingers squeezing your hips. “I just... don’t want to get too comfortable and wake up.”

“I’m real,” you reassure him, tilting your head to give him more access to your neck, where he continues to kiss and nip at your skin.

But something feels wrong to him—the way you kiss him hungrily while he kisses you back, passionate yet hesitant. Then it hits him.

“Nabi,” Jungkook murmurs as you continue to kiss his neck and shoulder, your fingers guiding his hand deeper into your joggers. “Y/N.”

“What?” you ask breathlessly, licking your lips as he straightens up, pulling his hand away from your pants.

“I don’t want to have sex with you like a cheap one-night stand,” Jungkook replies, sitting back on his knees and running a hand through his hair.

“What are you talking about?” you frown, leaning on your elbows. “You... don’t want me?”

“Of course I do,” he says, shaking his head. “But you’re acting like I’m just some random guy from a bar.”

You frown, sitting up. He’s afraid he said something wrong.

“That’s not true.”

“It is,” Jungkook sighs. “Fuck... Do you really want me, or are you just horny and I’m the only guy around?”

“Jungkook.” You say, your eyes soften as you cup his face, seeing the hurt on his face. “You’ll never be just convenient for me.”

He takes a deep breath, his tongue poking at his cheek. He wants to believe you. And fuck, if you told him the sky was pink, he’d believe you.

“We can just cuddle and talk if you want,” you suggest, and Jungkook smiles, nodding.

He knew about all the men in your life before you ever told him—Jimin had filled him in. Everyone knows you use physical intimacy to fill the void, and part of him feels responsible. If he had fought harder for you, maybe you wouldn’t have that endless list of guys.

“You’re not them,” you whisper as he pulls you close in bed, your head resting on his arm.

“I know. I was the first,” he teases with a smirk, and you roll your eyes, playfully slapping his chest. He laughs softly, taking your hand and holding it over his heart, his thumb gently stroking the back of your hand. “Go on a date with me,” Jungkook says, your noses brushing against each other. “A real one. Not this ‘friendly date’ bullshit.”

“You’re such a hopeless romantic,” you chuckle as he smiles and kisses the tip of your nose.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Jungkook grins, his fingers softly rubbing the back of your hand. “We’ll grab some food and go to the beach tomorrow.”

“We came to see our families,” you remind him with a raised brow.

“I’ll see them after the date.”

Jungkook doesn’t know how long the two of you stay in bed, talking about everything. The sun starts to rise as you fall asleep, your face resting on his shoulder while he plays with your hair. He didn’t like them short at first, but he’s gotten used to it and actually thinks that it suits you now. But for him, you look pretty anyways. He keeps you close against his body, his arms locked around you to be sure that you won’t slip. Brushing his nose against your hair, he takes the time to enjoy your scent. Your perfume is slightly different from the fruity one you had when you two were together. This one is more feminine, more mature. And he likes it.

And when he wakes up later, he still finds you nestled against him, your back pressed against his chest. For a good minute, he has to pinch himself, convinced this is a dream. It feels too right to be real, having you here with him.

Jungkook carefully disentangles himself from you and sits up. His mouth is dry, and he needs to check his phone. After taking his time in the bathroom, he smiles when he sees you still sleeping, cuddling one of the pillows. He sits on the edge of the bed and turns on his phone, immediately bombarded by notifications.

Ignoring most of them, he opens his conversation with Jimin and sends him a message. Jimin knew about his plan all along and asked him to keep him updated. Jungkook types out everything he remembers from the night before—how you fell asleep in his arms, how happy he is. He smiles like a teenager as he types, and Jimin replies almost instantly, saying he’s happy for him. But then the next message makes Jungkook’s smile drop.

FROM: Jiminie

Did you tell her about Hina?

Jungkook sighs, rubbing his face. His fingers hover over the keyboard before he finally types a reply. He had been so focused on you that he forgot about her.

TO: Jiminie

It’s too soon. I just got her back. Let me enjoy this.

Jimin’s answer comes almost immediately and Jungkook groans, frustrated because he knows that his friend is right. His eyes fall back on your sleeping form. You’re going to hate him. He needs to figure out how to handle this little – big- problem. Jungkook knows where his heart is, and it’s right here, with the woman peacefully sleeping in his bed.

FROM: Jiminie

I understand. But you need to tell her before she hears it from someone else. Nabi has the right to know about your fiancée.

YOU CAN ALREADY READ THE CHAPTER 07 ON KO-FI.

DUST OF US MASTERLIST.

WATTPAD.

KO-FI. (every chapters/drabbles are posted as soon as i'm done writing them.)

[teeth-farie]

Restroom Rendezvous

Wade Wilson (Deadpool)/Reader

…: I’m back from the dead! I can’t guarantee that I’ll post often, but I at least wanted to share something I wrote. Deadpool has been my hyperfixation since I saw DP&W last summer, so this is set right after that. Thanks for reading!

~~

Wade totally wasn’t caught up on Vanessa’s rejection, not at all. Things don’t work out sometimes, and that was fine, really, it was. She let him down easy, he was thankful for that, at the very least. People change. She had and so had he. They simply weren’t what each other needed anymore. 

It hit him bitterly, that he can admit. He spent many long nights drowning his sorrows in ice cream cartons and reruns of the great British bake off, and a couple nights actually drowning himself in the bathtub. It was a rough period, but life goes on. 

He’s since come to terms that romance just isn’t in the cards for him, not when most people ended up nauseous after a first impression. However, that wouldn’t stop him from living vicariously through Logan’s love life. 

He’d put up a good fight so far, but Wade would be damned if he let all that go to waste because The Wolverine doesn’t know how to flirt with this universe's population. Seriously, he’s never seen someone be so politically incorrect and over correct in his life. 

It all leads them to a seedy little bar, but one with enough charm to know you probably won’t be getting an std. Probably.

He has to tug Logan away from the bar and to the pool table before he can get too shitfaced, sighing in exasperation. 

“It’s like you don’t even want to find anyone.”

“You said I’d be getting laid, not that I’d fall in love.”

“Oh, but don’t you just love the trope of strangers to fuck buddies to lovers?”

Logan snorts a puff of air from his nose as he grabs a pool stick and rubs the little thing of blue chalk on the end of it.  

Wade turns to scope the bar population, leaning up against the edge of the pool table as Logan lined up pole tip to white ball, cradled by his fingers. 

“At first I was like, ‘let him have some time, he’s new to this universe’, but now I’m like, ‘fuck it, he’s had enough time!’,” Wade begins, the sounds of pool balls clacking making him roll his eyes. 

“See, that’s exactly it! I took you here to mingle and now you’re huddled away playing fucking pool. Alone. You aren’t even playing with anyone.”

Clack. Roll. 

“I didn’t even think you could play pool alone, it seems like a very obvious two player game, but you do know best,” 

Clack. Thunk!

“OW!!” Wade turns dramatically, hand on his ass to face the other man with a look of betrayal. 

“Did you just hit my ass with a pool ball?”

“Shouldn’t be sittin’ on the table there then, bub.”

Wade frowns and Logan chuckles to himself, jaw flexing with his hidden grin. 

“You’re gonna make me do the work for you, huh? You big baby. You big 5’3 baby.”

SNIKT!

“YEESH, don’t get your panties in a twist, I’m leavin!”

There’s that saying of ‘there’s always more fish in the sea’, but the fish out here look a little too dead eyed for his tastes. Well, Logie’s tastes. 

Just when he’s about to call it quits, he spots you (Duh, you know what you came here for). 

There’s nothing outright that he can pinpoint that draws him to you. Maybe it’s the way you dress, or the way you hold yourself, but something about you makes him feel just about as giddy as a kid in a candy shop. Part of him wonders if maybe he could snatch you for himself. 

Checking his breath in a cupped hand, he winces and shrugs. It’s not like the rest of him was all that better. 

Wade leans up against the bar next to you, dark hoodie shadowing his mottled face under the overhead lights. His smile still gleams, crooked lower teeth and blistered gums. 

“You’ve been looking over at me and my friend a lot, I noticed it.”

“Ah, guilty as charged.” You respond, a split smile, beer on your breath. “I’m sorry though, if it made you uncomfortable.”

“No! No no, the opposite, actually,” he sits down on the barstool, leaning on his elbows against the sticky countertop. “See, my friend over there,” he points over his shoulder, voice suddenly low and conspirative.

 You follow the point of his thumb to his friend, thick and burly, bent over the edge of the pool table to line up another shot. Truly a magnificent specimen, but your eyes don’t seem to be on that prize. 

“I’ve been trying to set him up for ages now, and between you and me, he thinks you’re real cute.”

“He does, does he?” 

“Oh yeah, super cute. He might seem like an asshole, but he’s a real softie at the center, all gooey and shit.”

“Mhm,”

“Ok, ok, I see I’m losing you a bit- but what’s the harm? Come on over, just don’t say I brought you over here.”

You sigh, resting your cheek on your palm, and he can’t help but feel a little scrutinized under your gaze. 

“You know, it wasn’t him I was staring at.”

“I…oh, pfft, yeah, this whole thing,” he gestures to his face, scarred and tumored flesh pulled taut and tender. “Wanted a ticket to the freak show?”

“No, not like that,” you say quickly, a little hot in embarrassment. “I meant, I think you’re…cute.”

Wade almost balks at you, silent before scoffing. “Cute? Pardon my French, but are you fucking blind?”

You laugh, and you’re a little worried that you probably shouldn't have. “Listen…”

“Wilson. Wade Wilson. Did that sound cool?”

“Wade,” you say, and the way you say it makes him feel all tingly at the base of his spine. “You seem like you really love your friend.”

“Totally! We’re BFF’s, best friends forever, we’ve got the matching necklaces, too.” He tugs on the thin chain dangled around his neck, a half heart charm jingling underneath his hoodie. 

You’re resting your hand on his thigh, a deliberate movement that makes his fingers twitch a little, necklace falling back under his shirt. You lick your lips a little, and he’s back under your spell.

“Wouldn’t your friend want you to…have a little fun?”

His mouth falls open to say something, then closes, then opens again. “F..fun? I like fun, what kinda fun are we talking about?”

Your head leans back with a laugh at his flustering, hand squeezing his thigh just a little tighter. He shifts in his seat and you notice it, of course you do. 

“The kind of fun where you follow me into the bathrooms and I,” you stop, fingers inching up just a little bit higher on his thigh, just shy of bumping this fic rating from mature up to explicit. “Well,” you sigh out, and move your hand away entirely. “I wouldn’t want to give it away, not when you can come see for yourself.”

“Yes,” he strains, leaning up in his seat like he was ready to jump you right then and there. “I want that, I wanna have some fun with you—if, if you still want it?”

“Honey, I’ve been groping you for the last minute, of course I still want to.”

“Right! Right, right, right,”

“Leave a bit of distance, don’t make it so obvious,” you say to him, getting up from your seat and nodding towards the bathrooms with a wink before you leave. 

Wade’s heart pounds in his ears almost louder than the bar's music. Surprisingly jazzy, they probably came on a themed night. In ways, he thinks his heart might be singing too. 

He looks over to Logan, finding him still at that damn table. At least this time it looks like someone’s joined him, or he hopes so. He really wants to be following you right now. 

Then, with a skittish bit of flair, Wade slinks away into the crowd. 

—

Wade’s tarnished skin feels impossibly hot when your mouth makes contact, lips and tongue over the length of his jugular. His hands wander, catching on your clothing, rumpling the fabric under his grip. Yeah, this fic is getting rated explicit. 

“This is fucked,” he huffs, head lolling back against the bathroom stall. You make a questioning sound against his neck and his whole body shivers. “S’posed to be hooking you up with Lo’, not…not…” you’ve found the tender little spot below his ear as he speaks, blunt teeth pressing firm and he hates how reactive he is to it. 

“God, you’re not playing fair, this isn’t fair,” he wheedles, tugging on your clothes. 

You laugh and wiggle your leg between his, hip pressing against his groin, and you’re pleased to find him half chubbed already. “If I were fair, I’d be talking to your friend right now instead of kissing a cutie in the bathroom.”

“I’m- am I the cutie?”

“Yes, you’re the cutie.”

You’re mouthing lower and Wade is sure his heart is going to burst from his chest Alien style. Your teeth catch on the chain of his necklace, a touch of your tongue against his skin and you tug, breathing out a laugh when he whimpers. 

“That shouldn’t have been so hot,”

“But aren’t you glad it was?” 

You’re only stopped by the neckline of his hoodie, lavishing your mouth over the exposed skin of his throat. He’s breathing heavy, Adam’s apple bobbing beneath your teeth. 

He’d never thought anyone would want to be close to his cancer riddled skin, let alone kiss. The scabbing and sores of his skin don’t bother you, you devour him all the same. 

Just as he thinks it can’t get any better, he feels your fingers tug on the waistband of his jeans. 

“Is this ok?” You’re asking, all soft and hushed, like you haven’t unraveled him at the very seams. 

“Uh,” he stammers like an idiot, flushed red and sweating. “Yes, yes, it’s ok, it’s more than ok, actually! I’d really uh, it’d be totally cool, totally consensual—“

You cut him off with a kiss, fumbling with his buttons and pulling down the zipper with a huff puffed from your nose. 

His pants shuck down easily enough, caught around his thighs while your hand finds his erection. The first touch is like bliss, your fingers wrapping around his mottled cock and tugging, toying with the foreskin around the tender head. 

You make a pleased sound, reverberating into his mouth as you give him a testing squeeze, his hips canting forward. 

It feels better than he anticipated, much better, though he supposes it’s due to only having his right (and left) hand for a while. 

“No undies, huh?” You’re laughing, a sickly sweet sound that makes his knees feel weak. “And here I thought you were just trying to set your friend up. Were you hoping for this all along?”

He shakes his head, though it’s more like a frantic twitch. “Huuh, nuh-uh,” 

“No? I think you did,” his cock weeps enough to make the slide of your fist easy, the soft palm of your hand so much better than his own blistered one. “I think you were hoping I’d pick you, that I’d come kiss you all better, make you feel good.”

“Please,” is all he can muster, nosing against your head with a pitiful sound. 

“Oh, you poor thing,” you croon, letting go of his cock to put your cupped palm below his chin, expectant. “Come on, get it wet for me, Wade.”

It’s all but purred, the way you say it. Like butter and cotton candy had a baby and it was your voice. And he’s obeying, gathering the saliva in his mouth and spitting it into your palm, flushed red hot and wanting. 

“Good boy,” you whisper and he thinks he’s in love. 

Your wet hand is grabbing his cock again, slick and dripping. 

“Tell me what you like, cutie.”

“Tighter? Oof- not that tight, j-just kinda- ohhh,”

His body feels like it’s blooming, warmth flooding into his nerves different from the anxious, hormonal flush of his blood. He sucks his lip in between his teeth, eyes rolling when the web of your finger and thumb catch on the head.  

“Now that’s a pretty expression,” up and down, up and down, wet and messy. “I think it’s cool, how your dick is like the rest of you. Nice on the hands…” you thumb over the uneven skin, thumb pressing against the more tender and raw flesh, pulsing with his heartbeat. 

“Oh, ha..haha, r-ribbed for your pleasure, amiright?”

“Oh, Wade…” your tongue slides across the shell of his ear, saccharine voice a heady whisper. “I’m not the one that’s gonna be bent over.” 

“Oh my god,” he wheezes, hands shooting up to cover his face in near comedic embarrassment. 

You laugh in his ear and it sounds utterly mocking, your voice trailing off into a sigh of a moan (which isn’t helping him in the slightest- or it is, and that’s why he’s suffering).

“God, you’re wet, I don’t think I even needed you to spit at all.” You thumb over the head, a back and forth rub that gets your fingertips sticky with his pre. “Look at that, like a fucking garden hose.”

Wade huffs loudly through his hands, spreading his fingers to peek out, pupils dilated under the milky sheen of his eyes. “Don’t stop,” it comes out strained and weak when he says it. “K-keep talking, I need- I-I—“ 

His hips jerk in aborted thrusts, biting on his own tongue when his teeth clench. He whimpers, and you kiss him better, tongue against tongue. 

“Close,” he still tries to whimper anyway, his balls drawing up to his body in anticipation, the building of his orgasm festering in his gut. 

“Close? Alright, alright,” you start to shuffle him forward and he makes an indignant sound when he’s pulled away from your mouth. “Aw, don’t look at me like that, I’m just trying to avoid getting a stain on my clothes.”

You position him over the toilet and he grabs at the tank of it, your hand wrapping around him from behind and pointing his cock down to the bowl. It’s not the first time he's jerked off over a toilet, but this time is definitely more enjoyable. 

“There you go,” he can hear the smile in your voice, feel your hands wrapped tight around him. It makes him feel kinda jelly inside, soft and jiggly and vulnerable. 

He finds himself holding onto the hand on his stomach, your other making quick work of his erection, pumping quickly to push him right back to the edge again. 

“C-can you,” he swallows, tries to catch his bearings. 

“Can I what, sweetheart?” 

It only makes him whine, a gutteral noise from the back of his throat. “Say I’m good,”

“Ha, you want to be a good boy? Want me to call you that?”

“Please,” really, it’s all he wants. At least in the moment. Or maybe after too, think about the way he made you happy and apply that to himself so he doesn’t seem like that much of a fuck up anymore. 

You don’t notice his inner quarrels, of course you don’t, but you still squeeze his hand back, dig your thumb into just the right spots with your other to make him push back against you. It’s enough to tip him over from the edge where he teetered, down into the fallen abyss or whatever poetic shit his mind could conjure. 

You keep his cock aimed and he spills into the toilet, shuddering with the force of it. It’s the deep rooted kind of orgasm, the kind that makes your eyes roll and bones go gelatinous. Yeah, that kind. It’s honestly the best orgasm he’s had in months, he thinks he could actually cry. 

No, scratch that, it’s not hot to cry after sex, even if it’s a bathroom handy. 

He feels your hand move up and down against his stomach, petting him, such a soft action that he does sniffle a little. 

“Good boy,” you say to him, tender, kind. 

Oh boy, here comes the waterworks. 

—

Wade would have been an idiot not to have grabbed your number after that night. Actually, it’s more like you grabbed his phone and put your number in yourself, which made him fall just ever a little bit more in love. 

It’s scary, he thinks, to try again after so much heartbreak. Vanessa would always be his friend, even if at one point, he had still wished it to be more. Actually, he thinks she might be proud of him for making another new friend, and that thought does make him feel warm inside. 

He meets you today at a cute little coffee shop for a technical first date after the restroom rendezvous (which he’s still surprised got no knocks on the door, thanks author).

It’s cliche, sickeningly so, but it’s so healing to his mangled up little heart that he’s damn well bringing a bouquet with him, too.

He knows it’s your favorite spot, not because you told him, but because he did some light stalking on his own. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with doing a little research! He had to make sure you weren’t an ax murderer or something (which would have just been another score in his book). 

He watches you from the window of the shop for a minute, a certain type of nervousness gnawing in his chest, more so than he felt with you before. Maybe it’s because this time it’s more than just a mindless fling. Maybe he just really likes you. 

You catch him when you look up from your phone, giving him a wave through the window and he gathers himself up once more, and pushes open the door. 

[ecstarry]

'Kiss and Stab' microfic for @v7lgar & @del-stars

“Will you stop playing with that?” Regulus took away the small knife Barty had been playing with for the past hour. 

It was fine at first, before they had both chugged an alarming amount of beer. Not something Regulus had planned on doing, but finals were over and break was just around the corner. 

Barty never needed an excuse. 

“I don’t trust you with such a dangerous weapon,” Barty teased. He pushed Regulus against the brick wall just outside the pub, pressing the blade slightly against Regulus’ tender skin. 

It was a Tuesday, no one else was around that late at night. He expected Regulus to push him, huff, tell him to piss off, yet Regulus was not only silent but blushing. 

That was not the first time they had been this close, not alone and not even in public. Barty didn’t move, getting a reaction out of Regulus was uncommon, he needed to understand what had turned Regulus’ cheeks such a divine hue of pink. 

Regulus cleared his throat, his gaze traveling to the knife pressed against his neck, just above his collarbone. 

Fuck. 

“Really? A fucking knife kink?” 

Regulus grinned at him, clearly too drunk to care. He opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out. An invitation. 

Barty, just as pissed and with a bulge forming underneath his pants, followed directions. He took the tip of the knife and traced the outlines of Regulus’ lips, he watched adoringly as the chest of the man in front of him kept rising and falling, almost panting. 

“You get so-” Barty stopped in a halt as Regulus traced with his tongue the same path around his lips the knife had just traveled. 

Barty felt lightheaded, all his blood went down his fucking cock as Regulus continued the show. Barty had wet dreams that started just like this, but nothing compared to the sight of Regulus Black letting out the hottest, sweetest noises as his pleading eyes asked for Barty to press the knife directly against his tongue. 

He was weak, and horny, and fucking desperate. Regulus fucking moaned, right against the metal, the noise went straight to Barty’s dick. 

“Give it to me.” Like an obedient dog, Barty obeyed and handed it immediately. He didn’t care what Regulus wanted to do with it, he just needed to touch him. 

Regulus stepped on top of Barty’s shoes, grabbed his chin and pulled Barty’s face down, “Kiss me.” 

Barty’s hands were greedy, he grabbed Regulus like he had always wanted. They wandered under his shirt, he wanted to remember this moment, he desperately tried to be present. It might’ve been the beer, maybe the power trip of holding a knife against Regulus, or just the feeling of Regulus fitting perfectly between his hands, but Barty was losing his goddamn mind. 

His mouth traveled from Regulus’ lips to his ear, down to his neck, nibbling on the skin, wanting to mark him, even if just for one night. 

“Barty,” Regulus whined. He leaned into Barty, his arms around his neck, begging to have him closer. 

“Yeah?” He pulled back slightly, he wanted to see the lust behind Regulus' gaze. 

“More.” 

“Reg.” Barty was trying for once to not fuck everything up, he didn’t want to be a mistake. But Regulus wanted him, finally. 

Regulus took out the knife from his pocket and pressed it against Barty’s collarbone. “Please.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ, I get the knife kink now.” He tried to catch his breath. “But we can’t, Reg.”

Yet Regulus pressed harder, a dot of red coming out of Barty’s skin. He stayed still, too lost in whatever was happening to stop Regulus as he brushed his fingers against the wound he had just made, collected the blood with his finger and licked it. 

“Let’s go.” 

“Mhm.” 

He had no more fight in him. He wanted Regulus and he wanted him now. 

[sturnslutz]

honey goes to chris's hockey game.

collab with @stvrnioloslvt !!! and the angst begins...

baby and matt version here!

chris had mentioned to you earlier about his game, but didn't say anything about you coming. you had asked earlier if he could come over and all he texted was, "sorry, honey. i gotta game tonight, but i'll see you later."

baby had mentioned to you earlier how she was going, and had invited you. you had never been to a hockey game and thought it was a great idea to come see chris and matt play, and surprise him.

you and baby got dressed in your room together, and you picked a simple cropped school shirt, and a pair of baggy jeans with some airforce 1's.

the both of you started heading to the stadium your school had, along with many more groups of students around you, most of them from your college, some others from the college you guys were going against.

strawberry ice smoke released from your lips and filled the cold air around you as you and baby talked about whatever was in your minds. despite your shy personality, you always felt comfortable around baby and she helped get you out of your shell.

besides her, it was nathan. nate and you had always been close and he was there whenever you needed him, he was like the brother you never had, and you love him like one.

you guys got to the stadium, being met with nate and a couple of his friends at the front. “baby! honey!” he says, waving and clearly drunk. you laugh softly as he pulls you into a tight hug, muttering about how he missed you so much and how he didn’t know you were coming.

a small shrug comes from you. “decided i would come with baby and see chris and matt play. don’t you usually play too?” he nods, clearly becoming a bit more upset.

“yeah- *hiccup* i got injured though 2 games ago and now im on rest.” he points to his knee that was in a knee brace, and you nodded. “i hope you feel better.” he smiles at you, his eyes lingering a bit longer than needed. you teared your eyes away from his drunk face, looking at baby awkwardly and she just shrugs and laughs. “cmon. we’ll see you later guys.” she interlocks her arm through yours before nodding to nate and his friends, before pulling the two of you away.

“y-you saw that right? i’m not crazy?” you whisper softly to her as you keep your gaze low to the ground, avoiding any unwanted eye contact and letting baby bring you through the stadium. “no, i definitely saw that. he is either drunk out of his mind, or has the hots for you.”

a shiver runs through you at the thought of it. the cold air outside and inside of the stadium doesn't help either. you both get to your seats next to a couple of baby's friends, and you politely smile at them softly, before sitting down.

you listen to the giggling and loud voices of the girls talking next to you, and zone out looking at the chair in front of you. your thoughts are interrupted at the sound of a familiar voice you heard not even 10 minutes ago.

you look up to nate and the same friends that were outside as he gives you a sloppy smile, plopping down in the seat next to you. he wraps his arm around your chair, dropping his beer in the cup holder in front of you.

"hey, hon. y'excited for y'first hockey game?" he tries to whisper in your ear, but messed up completely causing a small laugh to come out of your mouth before nodding. "yeah, i am." he smiles back at you before turning back to his friends next to him.

being in the middle of 2 loud groups is a big red zone for you. but you're grateful for at least being in between your best friends. you pull your phone out of your pocket, checking the time. 2 minutes till the teams come out.

you hear the announcer yell something you can't really pick up, but nate can. he and the guy next to him stand up yelling some chant along the lines of, "cmon team! let's fuckin' go!!" nate looks down at you, signaling for you to stand up which you quickly deny as he playfully rolls his eyes, plopping back down, and actually whispering in your ear. "party pooper."

"im not a party pooper, you know this isn't really my environment." he nods, tilting his head. "so, you and chris a thing?" he abruptly asks which makes your breath hitch. "w-what? i mean, i guess." he nods, his mood slightly diminishing as he leans forward, grabbing his beer once again, taking a big swing.

your eyes widen as you watch him basically down the almost full bottle to only a few drops left. he finishes, practically throwing it back into the cup holder as he sighs, leaning back once more. "y'know he ain't good for you. he'll play the fuck outta you right before your eyes."

your head spins at nate's words, looking back at him, to which he was already looking. you scoff as you notice his serious face. "chris wouldn't do that." he scoffs, just like you a moment ago before letting out a dry laugh. "yeah? watch that shit." you roll your eyes at his words, looking away from him, and moving your body a bit to face baby's direction.

she notices this, giving a small confused look before you shake your head, not wanting to talk about it. she nods a bit before looking at nate behind you, then rolling her eyes. he must've said some dumb drunk shit.

the lights flash across the stadium as a loud horn gets blown through the speakers, the crowd around you bursting into cheers, that including nate and his friends. he purposefully shoves you as he stands up, not even giving something as small as a look to you as he jumps and cheers.

you roll your eyes, getting dragged up by baby so you could properly see. the teams skated out onto the rink, your college taking the right side, skating around in circles, then the other team on the left, doing the same. she leans into your ear, bringing you close to her as she yells and points to 2 specific players. "there's matt and there's chris."

you nod in acknowledgement as your eyes follow chris. his swift movements, how he hits the puck with such force, and how he looks so damn good when he takes off his helmet, his hair already sweaty.

you hear baby laugh softly next to you, wiping your lip. you look at her as she laughs again. "you were drooling." your face flushes in heat as you shake your head a bit. "no way. i was not!" "you definitely were, honey." she smiles at you, looking back to the rink for a second before pulling you back down softly into your seat as the crowd starts to settle down.

the announcer says his usual chants, announcing the players, whatever. his voice going in and out of your ears and you pay solely to chris, who was standing on the side of the rink now, talking with matt. after what feels like forever, the game finally starts.

your eyes are glued to chris as he starts skating at what seems to you, super speed. you're more invested into this game more than almost anything in your life. this causes time to move faster than you think, 10 minutes, 30 minutes, then an hour, and then finally intermission. your eyes came off chris maybe twice that whole hour.

"having fun?" baby asks from besides you to which you quickly nod to. "i can tell. you haven't taken your eyes off the rink the whole time, let's make sure your eyes don't get stuck now." she jokingly says, laughing. you roll your eyes playfully, finally taking a breath as you lean back into your chair.

nate's arm hasn't moved from his place on your chair, evidently causing you to partially lay on it as you lean back. you don't mind it though, and he doesn't either. he's chatting it up with his friends as his fingers absent-mindedly start to play with the ends of your hair as his body still faces his friends.

you look down to your shoulder, seeing his fingers play with your soft hair, and a blush slowly creeps to your cheeks, and baby notices. she doesn't say anything though, letting the moment sink in for you. you look back to the rink, the game starting once again.

your eyes once again find chris, but he didn't get called into play yet. you take this small amount of time to check your phone, once again no notifications besides a couple grades updating, great.

you look back up, chris finally skating in. about 2 minutes in, a player from the other team shoves chris to the ice, and steals the puck, a clear penalty. the crowd bursts into yells as the ref doesn't call it, letting the game continue. you rise from your seat as you can basically see the anger running through chris.

he gets back up, but he's not skating towards the puck, no. he's skating to that bitch who pushed him right before he was making a goal. once he was close enough, he threw his stick wherever, throwing off his helmet in the same movement, before throwing a punch to the guy. he manages to take off the guy's helmet, another penalty.

one punch, then two, then three gets thrown to the guy, all from chris. worry rushes through you as baby stands up next to you, both of you seeing matt rush toward chris, trying to pull him off, but chris shoves him off. chris is seething at this moment, punches repeatedly getting thrown as he gets the guy to the ground. usually refs are supposed to let the players fight it out, but this was getting too violent. chris was getting too violent.

the refs finally managed to get chris off, leaving the other guy with a bloody nose, and a couple teeth missing. as chris got pulled off the rink, curses emit loudly from his mouth. your face grimaces at the sight of seeing chris so violent.

you don't notice when, but nate leans over to you, asking a small, "you good?" once he notices the discomfort in your face. baby also looks over at you, both of them full of worry. "y-yeah. just didn't expect chris to get so violent." both of them nod, understanding. "yeah, he gets into fights, but this was definitely his worst one yet." nate manages to get out of his drunk self.

all of your eyes watch as chris gets pulled to the penalty box, his coach yelling at him as chris runs a hand through his sweaty hair. what you don't miss though, is a girl running to the box pounding on it to get chris's attention. he faces her, his face softening a bit at the sight of her. he stands up, opening the door so she can get in, as he pulls her into a tight hug, kissing her head in the process.

a small gasp comes out of you as you watch the whole thing. nate and baby both look at you, and then follow where your eyes are. "no fucking way." baby says, in a tone you've never heard her use. nate doesn't say anything like you thought he would. baby talks to you, but you can't hear a thing she's saying, her voice replaced by a painful ringing in both your ears, flooding your head.

tears start to build in your eyes as you quickly push past nate and his friends, making your way to the stairs, your feet moving faster than your brain. you don't notice baby and nate following after you, both in pure worry.

you make your way to the penalty box to where chris and the girl are, just staring at the both of them. they don't notice you before baby comes next to you, banging on the glass to get their attention. chris's eyes look at her in confusion, before looking at you, his face dropping. the sight of salty tears falling from your eyes down your cheeks and neck don't go unnoticeable.

"honey.." he says softly, almost so quiet no one heard it, but you did. he's all you could hear, all you could see. "chris." you reply, a choked sob coming from your mouth. you couldn't deny that you felt many eyes on the two of you, but you didn't care.

chris looked different. sure he looked sad, but it also looked like he had no regret, at all. the girl finally speaks up, her high pitch voice making the ringing in your ears worse. "so, who the fuck are you?" she says with a disgusted tone in her voice as you tear your eyes away from chris, now looking at her. she looked absolutely nothing like you, she was a completely different person.

"i'm honey." you say softly, trying not to show the sadness in your voice, which was clearly inevitable due to the state you're in. a sarcastic laugh falls from her. the game behind you all becomes a blur, now the 5 of you in a whole completely different environment, even if you guys didn't actually leave the stadium.

"well, honey. i'm addison. chris's girlfriend." it almost seems like the stadium crashed from around you, burying you in debris, with no way to get out. you're suffocating in your own tears. "girlfriend? what the fuck?" baby speaks out, her tone laced with disgust. "yeah, bitch. what's it to you?" addison quickly replies back. with her eyes looking away from you and now to baby, which quickly erupted into an argument, your eyes look back to chris, to what seems like he didn't look away from you once. matt came up to the glass, listening in and watching everything go down, his gaze lingering on baby.

"so, this is why you didn't invite me. you invited your secret girlfriend instead." your voice similar to baby's, a tone chris has never heard from you. he stays quiet, before nodding. "yeah." you scoff, nodding and looking away. "fuck you, chris." you finally say, before turning around and walking away from the group.

you don't miss the way you catch peoples' gazes from their seats, to which you look away quickly, your pace fastening. you feel a hand interlock into yours, to which you flinch, but look over and see baby next to you. "those assholes." she mutters as she drags the both of you out of the stadium, her feet walking towards your apartment building.

your steps abruptly stop, your hand pulling out of hers. she slows her steps, looking back at you. sobs pour out of you again, the tears never ending now. she pulls you into a tight hug, rubbing her hand over your hair as you sob into her shoulder.

"chris is an asshole, honey. i'm so sorry." she says in between shh's and soft words. you sob again, your throat for sure scratched up. "i just don't understand." she shakes her head softly. "me either, hon. i wish i could beat his ass right now, and that dumb bitch addison or whatever her fuck ass name is. she's ugly as fuck, too. he downgraded." you laughed softly, standing up straight, trying to wipe the mascara off your cheeks.

the tears don't stop though, they just come out less aggressively. "cmon, i don't want some creeps seeing you cry in the middle of the street." she takes your hand as you nod, following after her. you don't miss how your phone is vibrating every second with a new notification. you look down, taking your phone out of your pocket, seeing dozens of texts from chris and nate.

chris❣️:

"honey im sorry."

"i didnt know u were coming tn, i shouldve invited u instead."

"she had no right speaking to you like that"

"i told her we're breaking up and to leave"

"please come back kid im sorry."

“please honey come back ur my favorite girl in the world.”

"nate really cares for you. him and matt are yelling at me right now."

"honey cmon please."

"i know you're getting these, y/n."

"y/n, cmon. you didnt think u and i were dating right?"

"text me when you're not in a bitchy mood, ight?"

nathan💯:

"where didd you gi?"

"im stilk drunik as fuck i cnt drive"

"plz cme back."

"that bitch id ugly antwsys."

"i luv u kid i hopy you feel beter"

the sudden change in chris's texts make a weird feeling run through you. "baby, look." you softly say to her as you hand her your phone. she turns around, taking your phone, reading chris and nate's texts as she continues walking you both, the two of you significantly closer to your building.

you watch her face distort into every emotion, her reacting with the same wave of emotions as you as she hands back your phone. "chris is a fucking weirdo. the switch up was crazy. at least nate was nice, i guess."

you nod, stuffing your phone back into your pocket as the two of you get to the entrance of your building, you quickly stepping forward to type the code in. the both of you make it up to your room, to which you unlock it, rushing in and immediately running to your bedroom, flopping onto the bed.

"i'm staying here tonight, okay? i'm not letting you be alone." you nod, looking up and seeing baby search through your closet, throwing you a pair of your pj's and grabbing herself a pair.

after some time, the two of you end up in your bed, searching through netflix for a movie. "so, you and matt?" you ask softly, looking at her. her eyes widen as she looks at you, practically disbelief in her eyes. "i am not talking about a sturniolo right now. tonight is for us, only." you rolls your eyes, looking at her while tilting your head. "cmon, i saw you looking at him the whole game. so, is something happen between you two?" she sighs, accepting defeat. you're actually making her talk about him.

"i don't know. there's some tension, i guess. but it's nothing besides that. at least not yet." she smirks softly at the last sentence to which the both of you burst into laughter. after that, the both of you end the night with the lorax and leaving the sturniolo name out of your mouths.

you still haven't responded to chris or nathan.

@muwapsturniolo @lovergirl4gracieabrams @m4ttg1rl @lypsiiii @tyummyz @sturniqlo @emely9274 @shadowthesim @mattsobvimyfav @sturnl0ve @wastelandzella @fallininlust @chrisslut04 @sophand4n4 @vainilladollie @slutforchrissturniolo2 @ncm9696 @snoopychris @ilovedanielcaesar @sofieeeeex @chr0mehrts @cockettechris @iloveduckssm @stvrnioloslvt @sturn777 @priscillaog @allylovescody @sturniolo101 @mattssslutbby @mattybsgroupie @mattysketchup @m11rx @slut4brunettes @trevorsgodmother @chrislova @slut4christopherr @sturns-mermaid @oopsiedaisydeer @conspiracy-ash @p1mpactivities @sweeetbabysblog @brooklyncameron comment to be added or removed.

[absurdthirst]

The Photo Booth {Javier Peña x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 22.9k

Warnings: Hook ups, fingering, vaginal sex, oral sex (male and female receiving), public sex, explicit photos, chauvinism, cheating, derogatory language, slight emotional manipulation and abuse?, domestic violence, bodily threats

Comments: A trip to Colombia, a fling that changes your life. Javier Peña returns to the DEA after retiring only to find that the one woman he couldn't get off his mind is now dating a co-worker.

**Based off this NSFW Post

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Javier Peña MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

Sitting in a dive bar in Cali, Colombia, you didn’t know what to expect in the smoky haze of the bar. The cold beer sitting in front of you is sweating and you look around, the interior of the bar making it seem like it was midnight rather than the evening. The only time natural light snuck in was when the doors swung open or closed to admit a new patron. You’ve been here for a week, learning the area and this little bar has become a favorite spot. It’s not touristy and you like that, able to sit and enjoy a beer or shot without judgment. The curse from the man next to you catches your attention, turning to again think that he’s handsome as he searches his pockets quickly, a cigarette dangling from his lips, obviously looking for a lighter. You reach into your pocket and pull out your zippo, flicking it opened and firing it up to hold in front of his smoke. “Here.”  

“Thanks.” He murmurs, leaning in to light his smoke and he inhales as the end of his smoke lights up orange. He exhales the smoke and removes it from his mouth, positioning it between his fingers over the ashtray on the bar. You’re pretty and American from the sounds of it. “Thanks.” He says again and gestures for the bartender to come over and refill his whiskey. “And whatever the lady is drinking.” He tells the bartender in Spanish.

You order another beer in Spanish and turn back to him as he takes another long drag off his cigarette like it needs it more than air. “Rough morning?” You ask playfully, picking up your beer and taking a long swing to finish it so you can start drinking the fresh one. He’s handsome and also American if his accent is anything to go by. His clean jawline is marred by one little patch that he missed shaving this morning and his mustache is in need of a slight trim, along with his gorgeous dark hair. It compliments the sharp nose and dark eyes. 

Javier snorts, “rough day.” He admits, tapping his smoke on the side of the ashtray and he nods at the bartender in thanks, picking up his glass to take a sip. “So what are you doing here in Colombia?” He asks, curious about why a beautiful woman is alone in Cali. It’s safer than when Pablo was around but it’s still dangerous. 

“Vacation. I’m here to visit my friend from college. She’s out with her new boyfriend tonight so I offered to entertain myself and here I am…looking for entertainment.” You smirk slightly and take a sip of your fresh beer. 

“Is that so?” Javier chuckles softly, “and what kind of entertainment are you looking for?” He asks and you hum, “l don’t know yet. Waiting to see what finds me.” You look at him and then back down the bar to an old man who is sipping his drink.

You watch as his brow lifts and there’s a moment where you think that he’s going to ask you another question and then he doesn’t. It’s as if he remembers something that causes him to straighten up slightly and he picks up his whiskey and tosses it back. You bite your lip, wondering if the spark of interest you had seen in his eyes was just a fluke. You lean back and sigh softly. 

Javier smirks after a moment, “so you’re looking for entertainment. You know, it’s been a while since I entertained.” Javi confesses. Apart from that first night back in Colombia, he hasn’t had sex and that’s not the norm for a man who processes everything in a woman’s body. He sighs and takes another drag of his smoke, his dark eyes dipping down to your lips before he lifts them back to your gaze.

“You?” Your eyes widen slightly in disbelief as you wonder if all the women in Colombia were crazy or if there was something wrong with him. You’re a pretty good judge of a good time and he looks like he’s damn fun. Reaching out, you pluck the cigarette out from between his fingers and take a drag from it. “Why?” You ask, blowing out the smoke and smirking at him, leaning forward to give him a glimpse of your tits in your low cut shirt.

Javier shrugs, his eyes dipping down to your cleavage before you exhale a cloud of smoke and his eyes flick up to your mouth. “Been busy working. Late nights in the office and tonight is one of the few nights I’m in a bar and not drinking at home while looking over paperwork. Plus no one has really caught my attention…until now.” He admits, his eyes dipping back down to your cleavage to make his intentions known.

You hum in approval and hand the cigarette back to him to pick up your beer to take a large swallow. “Good to know.” You tell him after you set it back down. “I was thinking that maybe you weren’t interested. Which is a damn shame, because I just know that you have a fantastic cock.” You can tell from the nonchalant self confidence he possesses, this man can fuck. 

If Javier wasn’t as experienced as he was, he’d be spitting out his whiskey, but that isn’t him. He smirks and leans a little closer after he snubs his cigarette out in the ashtray. “You just know?” He asks, tilting his head, “and if I just know you have a fantastic pussy?” He counters, his leg pressing against yours as he turns his body towards you.

“Then I think we need to find someplace to let you get a taste of it.” You tease, winking playfully. “You might get addicted to it.” Leaning forward, you lay your hand on his knee and slide it up his thigh. “Bet I could change that rough day into a better one. My fantastic pussy squeezing your fantastic cock? Sounds like a good time to me.” You’ve always been bold when you wanted someone and this is no exception. His suit shirt and tie are decent and fit him well, but you can tell the man prefers a pair of jeans over the trapping of a suit.

Javier has always loved a woman who knows what she wants. It saves on the “will they? Won’t they?” nonsense and he isn’t one to fuck around. Once he’s in, he’s in. His smirk turns into a devilish grin and his hand covers yours, dragging it higher until your palm is on his crotch, “my place or yours?” He suggests, tilting his head and his eyes flick down to your lips, “and I can discover just how fucking fantastic that pussy is and make my rough day into a good night.”

“My place is a hotel about four blocks from here.” You admit breathlessly, pressing your palm against the thick hardness that is growing under his slacks. “How far away do you live?”

“My apartment is about twenty minutes away so your place wins.” He groans softly when you rub his cock a little harder. He gestures for the bartender to come over and he shifts to pull his wallet out of his pants. He tosses some bills down to cover your drinks and he downs the rest of his whiskey. “You ready to go, hermosa, or you wanna finish your beer?”

You stand up and pluck the glass off the bar. “I’ll take it with me.” You tell him, sauntering towards the door, making sure that your ass sways invitingly with every step you take. Looking over your shoulder, you grin at the handsome man. “Hey, before we leave, what’s your name?” 

Javier grabs his jacket from the back of the bar stool and waves to the bartender before he follows you out the door, his hand pushing into the back pocket of your jeans to squeeze your ass. “You’re gonna be fun. I can already tell.” He smirks and he pulls his hand out to smack your ass. “Lead the way, hermosa.” He demands, cock pressing against the zipper of his slacks.

You smirk when he murmurs his name and you introduce yourself. You take another drink of the beer as you amble down the street to your hotel. “Want a sip?” You offer, holding it out to him and you like the way he still is touching your ass.

Javier takes the beer and tilts his head back to have a gulp, handing it back to you as his hand slides up to your waist. “You are fucking gorgeous.” Javier declares, “you don’t have a fella waiting for you back home?” He asks, wanting to make sure he’s not stepping on some poor guy’s toes when his beautiful girlfriend is on vacation.

“No.” You scoff and shake your head. “My ex told me that I was the type someone had fun with but didn’t marry.” It had hurt at the time, but fuck him. You didn’t want to marry into his prissy family anyway. “So I dumped him and said fuck it, I’ll just do what I want.”

He can’t help but snort, “I left my fiancé at the altar the day before I left to come to Colombia. Was about 8 years ago now but yeah, she’s still pretty pissed.” He confesses, “even though she’s married with kids. Fuck that guy, good for you for not giving in to his bullshit.”

“People want to change you.” You shake your head and shrug. “If you want to change for someone, you do. But it’s not actually love if someone wants you to change everything about yourself.” You tell him. “At least that’s my opinion. I mean, you don’t cheat, but if you love someone you don’t want to fuck someone else.”

"Exactly. I don't cheat. My pa would fucking kill me if he found out I cheated but having fun? That's something that's on the table. Tonight, I want you." He smirks, spinning you around to press you against the wall of a shop that's shut up. His hand caresses your waist and he leans in to press his lips to yours under the streetlight.

The first kiss is perfect. The taste of whiskey, beer and cigarettes makes a unique flavor that isn’t unpleasant on his tongue. Your arms wind around his neck, still holding your beer and you waste no time sliding your tongue into his mouth. Moaning slightly when he immediately responds and presses you harder into the wall, his cock already hard and digging into your hip.

He groans, pushing you up against the wall and his cock presses against your hip, his hands sliding up to squeeze your tits. He's hungry for you and after all the bullshit he's been handling with work, he wants to lose his mind in your body.

The fire between you ignites and you can tell that this man is going to leave you a sweaty, exhausted mess when he’s done with you. The hand not holding your beer slides down his side and pushes between your bodies to squeeze his cock as you pull your lips away from his. “Next block is my hotel.” You gasp breathlessly.

He pulls back reluctantly, knowing nothing more can happen in the street. A cat knocks over a beer bottle on the wall and he flinches, knowing it's not safe to hang around so he takes your hand from his crotch and guides you back onto the sidewalk to continue walking to your hotel.

You quickly enter the hotel and guide him towards your door. Pulling out your key from your pocket, the door swings open and you shrug. “It’s small, but the hotel is pretty safe so that is why I chose it.” You explain, aware that it might be smaller than some hotels in the city.

"Smart girl." He hums, following you through the door into your room. It's a little messy but he doesn't give a fuck. You set the beer bottle down and he kicks off his shoes, shrugging off his jacket. "How long are you in Colombia for?" He asks as he sits down on the foot of your bed.

“Month or so.” You shrug slightly. “I hadn’t really decided when I was going back.” You smirk. “Might stick around if the sex is good.” You tease, reaching for your shirt and pulling it over your head to reveal your lacy bra.

He watches you strip off with lust in his eyes and he groans when you push your jeans down to expose your panties. “Christ, you’re gorgeous.” He murmurs, his dark gaze trailing along your body. “I’ll make sure you stick around.” He promises, reaching for you to pull you between his spread legs. His hands sliding along the back of your thighs until he’s squeezing your ass clad in lace.

He looks good, sitting on the edge of your bed and you quickly pull his loose tie out from its knot and slip it out from around his neck. “You need a condom, handsome?” You’re on the pill, but while you know your own STD test, you won’t just assume he’s clean.

"I have one in my wallet." He assures you, loving the way you toss his tie to the floor before you start working on the buttons of his shirt. His hands slide under your panties, wanting them off, so he pushes them down when you are working on the last buttons of his shirt. You push it off his shoulders and step out of your panties, making him moan at the sight of the curls at the apex of your thighs. His hands slide up your thighs again and he spreads your ass so he can slide his fingers through your folds, groaning at how wet you are.

“I’m sure plenty of women tell you that you’re sexy, but I’ll just tell you I wasn’t wet before you sat down next to me.” You pant, head rolling back and you reach for his broad shoulders to keep you anchored. His fingers are quick and skilled as he finds your clit and starts to stroke it. “Fuck- Javi…” you pant, walls clenching around nothing as he touches you.

Javier loves the way you lean into him, your hands on his shoulders, and he slides his fingers back to push two inside of you. His foot nudges your ankle to spread you a little wider and you whimper when he curls his fingers inside of you. His other hand sliding up to work on the clasp of your bra.

“Shit.” You moan, your eyes fluttering closed while he manages to unhook your bra with one hand. He’s obviously good at that, practicing a few times. He grunts in pleasure when he gets it on the first try and you have to pull your arms away to let the straps slide down your limbs and you toss it away without even looking. You are naked in front of him and he’s still wearing his pants, the contrast between you exciting.

His eyes dart up to find yours and he leans in to take your nipple in his mouth. Your hand tangles in his hair and he groans at the slight tug. His fingers push deeper, pressing against the spongy wall to find that spot that makes your knees buckle while he bites down on the bud of your breast.

You whimper quietly, walls fluttering around his fingers and you want to touch him. “Javi- fuck baby.” You moan, rocking your hips towards him. “More.” You beg, cupping his head to your breast and loving his tongue laps at the aching nipple.

His fingers continue to pump into you, groaning your name against your breast, his tongue lathing your nipple until he kisses across to your other breast. Your hands caress his head and he wants you to cum on his fingers.

“Fuck.” It’s been a long time since someone has paid attention to you like this. Most of your previous lovers would rather get right to the sex and enjoy your uninhibited nature. Preferring getting a blow job over making sure you cum. “Javi.” You bite your lip and then let out another moan, telling yourself you have no reason to hold back.

Javier loves hearing you moan his name. He pushes his fingers a little faster, wanting to feel you clamp down on his digits, and he groans when you give him what he wants. His lips press against your sternum as you tug on his hair and you soak his fingers. “That’s it, baby. Fuck. Can’t wait to feel you around my cock.” He murmurs against your chest as he works you through it.

He slides his tongue into your mouth, slowly withdrawing his wet digits from your pussy and his wet fingers squeeze your breast before he grabs your waist to pull you into his lap and his cock is aching for you. His tongue slides against yours and his hands squeeze your ass as you grind down onto him.

You roll your hips and your fingers reach for his belt buckle. You want to see his cock, to touch him. Moaning into his mouth as you flick it open as you kiss him. You’re eager for him, wanting to see what he can do when he has more than his fingers inside you.

He loves how eager you are, fumbling to open his pants, and he groans when you finally manage to take his cock out, squeezing him in your hand. "Fuck, hermosa." He hisses, his fingers digging into your ass.

You look between you and groan in appreciation of the thick, uncut cock in your hand. Twisting your wrist so you can pump him lightly as you slide off his lap and drop to your knees between his thighs. You are salivating at how gorgeous he is and your already wet cunt is dripping as you roll the foreskin back to take the head between your lips as you dip your head down. 

His dark eyes drink in the sight of you on your knees for him, your lips wrapped around his cock. He can’t help but reach down to caress your cheek, “you’re fucking gorgeous.” He murmurs, watching you with hungry eyes and he twitches when you take him deeper into your mouth.

You moan in approval at his praises, always loving when someone heaps compliments on you. It makes you eager for more and willing to do almost anything. Sure that someone would say it has to do with your daddy issues, all you care about is this man right now and making sure that he wants more of you. Bobbing your head on his cock as you try to take as much of him as you can before you are choking and sputtering around him. 

“Cuidado.” He murmurs, not wanting you to hurt yourself. He strokes your cheek, feeling his cock bulge under your skin. “Fuck, you’re so good. I don’t - I don’t want to cum down your throat.” He warns you, enjoying your mouth but he wants your pussy.

You suck on the length, your tongue running up the side before you pull off his cock one last time. “Do you want my pussy or ass?” You ask, smirking slightly and lifting a brow in question as he twitches at the thought. 

He knows you’d need a lot of prep to take him in your ass. “Pussy.” He declares, “you would need more prep to open your ass for me and we just met. I want to feel that tight little cunt squeeze my cock.” He reaches for you and pulls you into his lap once more, pressing his lips to yours.

You whimper as his hands slide down your back and over your ass as he rocks you against his cock. The fabric of his pants is probably soaked with your juices but you don’t care and he doesn’t seem to mind. Breaking away from his lips, you start to kiss along his jaw. “Fuck me, Javier.” You beg. “I want you to wreck me and make me scream.” 

He nods, shifting to lay you down on the bed and he pushes his pants down, bending down to take his wallet out so he can get the condom from inside and he tosses his wallet down. “Spread your legs, baby. Show me that wet pussy.” He demands as he ríos the packet open and he rolls the latex down his length, standing before you fully nude as he admires your cunt.

You squirm and spread your legs wider, inviting him to come fuck you as he watches you with dark eyes. There’s something simmering beneath the surface of this calm man, a volatile nature that could be unleashed and it excites you. Reaching up, you cup your tits and pinch your nipples. “Fuck Javi.” You whine when he doesn’t pounce on you right away. “You gonna leave me hanging?”   

He chuckles, caressing your ankle up to your thigh and he shuffles closer, squeezing his covered cock. He notches himself at your entrance and pushes into you steadily but not quickly. “You are so goddamn tight. Mierda.” He hisses as he pushes deeper and keeps himself up on his forearms to hover over you.

Your mouth opens in a silent moan as he stretches you out, even his fingers were not enough to escape the slight pinch of his cock splitting you open. It’s incredible. You want to say something witty but you just pull your legs back to let him sink in deeper, loving how he feels. Sliding your hands up his arms and caressing the straining muscles as you admire how handsome he is over you.

Javier clenches his jaw as you squeeze him inside of you. The walls are gripping him like a vice and it’s been too long since he had sex. He hisses and leans down to press his lips to yours, giving both of you a moment when he’s fully seated inside of you.

You kiss him eagerly, your tongues sliding against one another and groaning into the other’s mouth. You love how physical he is, most men would just be hammering into you by now, but he is kissing you like there is nothing that exists but right now.

He starts to rock into you, slow and steady, while his tongue caresses yours until he pulls away so he can kiss along your jaw. "Hermosa." He murmurs, sliding his hand along your thigh as you moan when he pushes deep inside of you again.

The pace starts off slow, building up a rhythm that takes your breath away and makes you gasp out his name every time he plunges deep into your cunt. Your hands sliding along his back and feeling the muscles move as he fucks you. It’s intimate, even for a one night stand and you love it.

Javier has never been the rut and nut kind of guy. He loves women. Loves making them moan and writhe beneath him and you are not an exception. He wants to feel you cum around him before he spills into the condom. He kisses down your neck, hunched over you as he rocks into you a little faster.

“Fuck, fuck.” You pant, lifting your legs to wrap around his waist and you love how he is cradled between your thighs so perfectly. “Javi- more, fuck, it’s soooo goood.” You whine, your teeth nipping his shoulder and you lunge up to bite his cute little earlobe.

He groans when you bite his ear, “fuckkk.” He pants into your neck, his cock twitching violently inside of you. He loves that. He keeps his pace, adjusting his hips to find that spot that makes you cry out his name.

It’s distracting, the way he’s shredding up into you, making your whole body respond to the drive of your hips. “Fuck!” You squeal when he hits that perfect spot, making him chuckle. “There, hermosa?” He growls, making you whimper again when he hits that spot again. “There! Right fucking there. Oooooh, you’re gonna make me cum, Javi!” You cry when he seemingly targets your sweet spot and hammers against it again and again.

Javier loves the way you cry out and he focuses on that spot, pushing into you over and over again. He wants you to fall apart for him and it doesn’t take long for you to clamp down on his cock. His name is a cry for the hotel residents to hear as you shake beneath him.

Your entire body is blissed out, flooded with pleasure as your walls flutter around him. Making you encourage him to cum. “Cum for me baby, want you to feel so good.” You moan in his ear. “Let me see you cum.”

Javier grunts, wanting to last longer than one orgasm so he pulls out of you, shifting down your body so he can bury his face in your cunt. You taste like latex but he doesn’t care as he flicks his tongue over your clit.

You gasp in surprise, not expecting him to shift tracks like that and you are completely obsessed by this man that you picked up in a bar. More willing to focus on your pleasure than some of your exes. “Oh my fucking God.” You pant, looking up at the ceiling fan spinning lazily and counting your lucky stars. “How- how are you not married?” You huff. “Your ex was an idiot to not do whatever it took to keep you in her bed.”

Javier chuckles against your folds and he slides his hands up to squeeze your tits, pinching your nipples. “Not marriage material.” He admits as he pulls back for a second and he spits on your folds, wanting to watch it slide down to your ass and he groans, surging forward to lap your clit.

“Oh fuck…” you whine, loving how filthy he is. You grind your hips down, demanding more as you moan and whimper in pleasure. “Fuck - tell me you’re clean.” You demand. “Tell me you can fuck me raw and fill me up. Fuck, I’m on that birth control shot.”

His cock twitches against the mattress and he lifts his head. His hand sliding down to rub your clit. “I’m clean. Got tested a few weeks ago and I always use a condom. You really want me to cum inside of you?” He asks, eyebrows raised. Unsure if this is a heat of the moment and he doesn’t want to take advantage. The women he’s fucked…he’s always had a condom on because they are prostitutes and it was required.

“Fuck yesssss.” You moan, clenching around nothing at the thought. “I’m clean, I’ve got my papers on the table over there, along with my shot record.” You pant, squirming as you imagine dripping his cum. “I want- I’ve never done that before, unless it was anal.”

Javier won’t dent you when you’re begging. He groans your name and sucks your clit into his mouth, wanting you to fall over the edge again before he fucks you raw. “I’ll fuck your ass another time.” He promises and sucks on your clit harder than before.

You whine, stomach clenching as your fingers twist in his hair. Tugging on it while he devours your cunt. “Fuck, Javi!” You feel yourself stiffen, crying out again for the entire hotel to hear when your cunt clenches down around nothing and you soak his chin.

He hisses when you tug on his hair and he groans into your flesh before he abruptly pulls back, shifting back onto his knees. He pulls the condom off and grips his cock, positioning himself at your entrance and he pushes into you while your walls are still fluttering from your orgasm.

All you can do is moan, rolling your hips down and wrapping your arms around him. Dragging him down onto you to feel his weight pressing you into the bed. “Fuck- you feel….amazing.”

You feel incredible around his cock, so wet and hot, and he starts to rock into you, harder than before. “Fuck baby. You’re beautiful. Fucking gorgeous.” He hisses, his hands sliding under your body.

“You’re gorgeous.” You groan, kissing up his jaw to his lips. Not caring that your juices are still on his tongue. You just want to kiss him. “So goddamn good to me. Fucking me right. Now I want you to wear yourself out.”

Javier grunts, shifting onto his calves and he grabs your waist, dragging you up and he shifts to hold your thighs. The new angle has his eyes rolling into the back of his head and he hisses your name when you brace your feet and rock down onto him.

“Fuck, you want me on top?” You pant, starting to roll your hips and bounce on his cock. “I can do that.” You hang onto him and still want more as he leans in and takes your nipple in his mouth. “Oh fuck.”

“Take what you need, hermosa.” He demands, squeezing your ass, and he loves the way you take him inside of you with every rock of your hips. “That’s it, baby. Shit.” He hisses and bites down on your breast.

Your fingers run through his hair and you moan his name again. Wondering how the hell you got so lucky to be able to take this man to bed. “Oh fuck, that’s so good. You’re so good.”

Javier loves how much you are enjoying this. Genuinely loving every second and he hasn’t had a lover like that in so long. “Fuck hermosa. Tu coño es mi cielo.” He murmurs against your skin.

Your pussy is my heaven. You moan, clenching down around him tight as his words throw you over the edge again. You’ve never cum as much as you have tonight and it’s amazing that you found the perfect lover in a little bar in Colombia. “Javi!” Your voice breaks and you choke out a sob as you come apart again.

When you cum again, he doesn’t hold back. He groans and rocks up into you, his hands gripping your thighs to keep you upright as he works himself towards his orgasm. “Mierda.” He hisses and he’s falling over the edge within a half dozen thrusts. Your name on his lips as his cock twitches while filling you with his hot cum.

You close your eyes, forehead resting against his shoulder and you pant softly. “Fuck.” You whimper, feeling him rock through his orgasm until he finally stops moving underneath you.

He bites down on your shoulder and kisses along your neck, loving the way you relax against him. He murmurs your name against your skin and sighs, feeling so good after you let him fuck you and he’s so happy he met you in that bar. He pulls out a few moments later, shifting to lay down on the bed.

You roll over to your back and give a tired giggle. “You want a cigarette?” You ask, knowing you have a pack in the drawer next to him. “I think after that performance, you deserve one.”

“Fuck yes.” Javier nods, his fingers twitching for a smoke and when you hand it to him, he keeps his lips pursed so you can light it before he inhales and opens his other arm for you to curl into him. “How long are you here for again?” He asks, having forgotten in the haze of sex.

You bite your lip, smiling lazily as you steal the cigarette and take a puff. “As long as I want to stick around.” You laugh, handing the smoke back to him and caressing his chest. “Might be at least an another month or so if you want to fuck me like that again.” You tease playfully.

He chuckles, “sounds like a good deal to me, baby.” He kisses your hair and takes another drag of the cigarette while you curl around him.

****

“Fuck. Jesus Christ.” Javier hisses as you take his cock into your mouth in the front seat of his Jeep. Your ass in the air clad in daisy dukes and his aviators on his eyes as he watches you take his cock into your mouth. You’ve been having sex for the past two weeks every night Javier can get away from the Embassy and tonight, he told you he’d take you to his favorite lookout in the mountains but you decided the better view was in his lap.

You moan around him. Eager as you bob up and down on his cock. You know that he’s DEA, you have learned a little about his job and how much stress he is under on the day to day and you want to make him forget about everything but the way your mouth feels around his cock. Your fingers wrap about the base and you pump it and then roll his balls around gently in your hand.

Javier caresses your head as you suck his cock and he hisses when you gently squeeze his balls. The moon is shining above and there’s no one else around, his headlights turned off so you can see the stars but he doesn’t give a shit about the sky when you’re causing stars behind his eyelids with the way you’re sucking his cock. “Fuckkk hermosa.” He groans, tilting his head back against the headrest, “gonna make me cum.” He warns, not wanting you to have him cum if you want to fuck him.

You hum, knowing how much he love that and while you would love for him to fuck you, you want him to cum down your throat. Knowing how stressed he is, you want to make him relax and thank him for being so sweet to plan a romantic drive up here. It’s thoughtful and when he’s ready to go again, you’ll bounce on his cock. Instead of pulling off, you press deeper, letting go of the base and taking him all the way until your nose is pressed against his groin, swallowing around him.

He chokes when you take him deeper, your nose pressed against the coarse but trimmed hair at the base of his cock. “Holy fucking shit.” He growls, unable to hold back and his cock twitches as he starts to cum. His balls pull tight in your hand and you moan around him as you start to swallow every drop of hot cum down your throat. “Mierda, hermosa. Fuck.” He pants, his hand slamming on the steering wheel and he honks the horn by accident.

You jump in surprise, gasping slightly and it makes you dribble out some of the cum you are trying to swallow. Making you giggle as you swallow harder and cup your hand over his pants so none of the cum spills on to the fabric and stains them. Still, you keep sucking, waiting until his cock stops pulsing before you pull off and make sure you get every drop. Your grin is self satisfied when you sit up. “Enjoy that?”

Javier doesn’t answer. He reaches down to cup your cheek and you let him drag you up from his lap. “You’re so fucking perfect.” He groans and presses his lips to yours, uncaring about the saltiness on your tongue from his cum. His hand cups the back of your neck, needing you closer.

You love that he doesn’t care about his cum, or yours. You kiss him back eagerly and you sigh into his mouth softly. Everyday you spend with Javi is special and it’s almost a damn shame that neither one of you are in a position to have a relationship. It would be amazing. One last peck and you shift to his side and look up at the stars. “It is pretty up here.”

He wraps his arm around your shoulders after he tucks his cock away but doesn’t bother buttoning his pants. He nods, “it is. I like to come up here when I’m having a hard time at work. Had some fucking revelations up here. I- I don’t really bring anyone here. It’s always been my place but I wanted to bring you somewhere special since I haven’t exactly taken you on a date.”

Your heart melts at his revelation, honored that he would share someplace meaningful to him. Turning your face up, you place a kiss on his jaw, loving the little bare patch where his five o’clock shadow refuses to grow in. “Thank you.” You murmur softly. “This is wonderful, but don’t feel guilty. I love our nights in my hotel room.” Javi had told you that it was too dangerous to bring you back to his apartment, and while that could be a lie, you feel like he’s telling the truth.

Javier knows that this is veering too close to a relationship but he can’t stop it. With the knowledge that you’ll be leaving soon, he feels greedy to get every second he can with you. The whorehouses have definitely missed his presence during this stint in Colombia but he was determined to change his reputation. He has to redeem himself after what happened with Los Pepes. He has to make it right.  “I know, I just - I want to keep you safe. You have to return home to the States.” He insists, knowing that every day you spend here puts your life in danger, multiplied tenfold by being with him.

“I know.” You caress his chest over his shirt gently, trying to soothe him. He doesn’t talk about the things that he’s seen, but you sometimes catch a haunted look on his face. Or the nights when he stays over, he will abandon the pillow he hugs while he sleeps to cling to you as if he’s afraid of you slipping away at night. It makes your heart ache. “You will see me off at the airport, giving you a kiss and slipping a twenty in your pocket for all the great sex.” You tease.

Javier smirks, “I think at least a hundred considering you’ve cum every time since we met.” He raises his eyebrows at you and his hand slides down to squeeze your breast. “And there’s plenty more where that came from.” He promises with a chuckle.

You laugh with him, the sound turning into a moan when he pinches your nipple and you lean in to kiss him again. You know you are playing such a dangerous game, but Javier Peña is so much better than he ever gives himself credit for and you have fallen in love with you, you just can’t let him know that. “A hundred.” You agree breathlessly. “As long as you make me cum tonight too.” He hums, smirking at you devilishly, “oh that’s gonna happen, hermosa.”

*****

Javier holds your hand as you walk through the shopping center, his eyes constantly looking for anyone suspicious. Ever since Escobar would bomb shops and streets, he's been anxious about the Gentlemen of Cali following his example as they get more desperate. He glances around and spots a photo booth. It's ridiculous but he wants something to remember you by once you leave. "Let's take a photo, hermosa." He says, dragging you over to the booth.

Giggling quietly, you let him pull you into the booth and drag the flimsy curtain closed while he fishes his wallet out of his back pocket to feed money into the machine. He had a hard time because you turn your head and start kissing him, grinding your ass against his lap suggestively as a wild idea comes to mind. “Let’s take pictures fucking.” You whisper in his ear, wanting something crazy to remember your time with Javier by.

His eyebrows raise but he doesn’t deny you. His hands immediately reach up to drag your tank top down. “Wanna keep a photo of your tits.” He declares, hardening immediately beneath you. “You’re fucking perfect.” He groans as the camera flashes.

You twist around and kiss him again, laughing as he starts to rush to unbuckle his belt and pull his cock out. Your own fingers pushing your panties down under your skirt and as soon as his cock is in his hand, the camera goes off again. “We will have to do another round.” You tell him, quickly sinking down on his length with your skirt around your waist and your tits out in the middle of a Photo Booth.

“I got more money. We will stay in here as long as we want.” Javier promises, groaning at the way you grip his cock inside of you. Your cunt is always so wet and hot. He hisses as you clench down around him, your giggle echoing in the booth as the camera flashes again. He turns your head to press his lips to yours, sliding his tongue into your mouth.

The next time the camera flashes, you are bouncing on his cock and his hands are cupping your tits. You’re still kissing, your tongues tangled together and you moan into his mouth. It’s exciting and naughty, making you clench down around him because you know that you are out in public taking his cock.

He fucking loves how filthy you can be. His cock twitching inside of you as you rock your hips and he shifts to stand up, turning you around so you can brace yourself on the wall and he fucks into you, the camera flashing again and he knows it picked up his cock glistening with your arousal.

You bite down on your lip, not wanting to be too loud as he rocks into you from behind. Eyes rolling back, your head drops back on a low sigh, loving the way he shreds into you. Javi has a perfect cock and it hits all the right angles as your tits shake.

The machine starts to print the photos and Javier scrambles to pull his wallet out again, feeding the machine another bill while he’s still inside you. He rocks into you as he feeds the money and the machine whirls to life again. His hands come up to squeeze your tits and he groans when you grind back onto him.

“Fuck Javi, fuck.” You whimper quietly, eyes fluttering closed as he fucks you. You turn your head and kiss along his jaw until he tilts his head enough for you to kiss him again. You’ve never felt like this with anyone and you are going to be sad when you go back home.

The camera keeps flashing and Javier shifts to sit down again, wanting your face in the photos and he groans when you settle on top of him, facing the camera. Your tits sway as you rock on top of him and he wants you to cum on camera. His hand slides down to rub your clit, wanting you to fall over the edge for him.

Leaning back against his shoulder is so natural to you. In the time that you’ve been fucking, you’ve developed a natural rhythm that is so easy. You are uninhibited with him. “Javi.” You pant, stomach clenching when you feel his thick fingers expertly rub your clit. “Fuck I’m going to cum!” You squeal, mouth dropping open as you fall over the edge, right as the flash bursts again.

He loves the way you cum for him. His cock pushes up into you and he groans at the way you arch your back. His other hand squeezes your breast as he continues rubbing your clit until you push his hand away. “Good girl, hermosa. So fucking good for me.” He grunts, thrusting up into you a few more times before he cums, painting your walls with his hot seed and it’s captured on camera.

You continue to move, feeling his hands holding your hips tight as he floods your pussy with his cum. A feeling you have become completely addicted to. “God.” You giggle quietly, turning and pressing your lips to his. “I can’t wait to see how these turn out.” The first set of prints have been spit out and are developed, making you reach forward to snatch it up to look at while he’s still buried inside you.

He groans when you rock on his cock, the strip of photos in his hand and he smirks when he sees the different positions of your body and his. “Fuck, those are hot. You look so fucking sexy.” He murmurs, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Me, look at you.” You huff, biting your lip at the eroticism of it all. “I’m keeping this one. You can have the other one.” The machine spits out another strip of pictures and you snatch them up to compare. “This is great.” You clench down around him playfully. “Something to remember the amazing sex by.” You tease. “I’m going to have to pull these out and show my friends when I talk about the amazing cock of Javier Peña.”

Javier chuckles and kisses your shoulder, “I’ll keep it in my wallet. Jerk off to it when you’re gone.” He promises and his hands caress your sides until he sighs, “we better get dressed in case someone wants to come in here.” He chuckles, “come on baby.” He smacks your ass when you stand up.

You hiss in pleasure, pulling your panties back up and it will be a little experiment to see how much of his cum you can keep inside you while you are walking around. You tuck the strip of pictures you are keeping into your purse and take his wallet from where it’s sitting on the cash inserted to put it in with his money. “Nice and safe, babe.”

He turns your head to kiss you, sliding his tongue into your mouth and he caresses your side. You’ll be heading home soon and he doesn’t know how he’s gonna handle it but he will. He will love looking at those photos when you’re gone.

****

“So, I guess this is it.” Your carry on is slung over your shoulder and you bite your lip as you turn towards Javier at your gate. “You didn’t have to bring me to the airport.” True to his word, he had made sure you were safe the entire time you were in Colombia and had shown up this morning at your hotel to drive you to the airport. “Ready to make sure I’m gone, huh?” You tease. “Not causing trouble?”

Javier snorts, pulling you into his chest. “Yeah. Can’t wait to get rid of you.” He chuckles and presses his lips to your hair. It’s gonna hurt like a motherfucker to let you go but what can he do? He sighs and slides his hands down to squeeze your ass, his lips finding yours after he nudges your nose.

You sigh softly, your hands sinking into the hair at the base of his neck one last time. You hate leaving, wanting him to ask you to stay. You would. You’ve fallen completely in love with him, but love wasn’t what you two had anticipated and you wouldn’t make him feel guilty. Despite your fun ways, you wanted a family one day and he readily admits he’s not the marrying kind. “Thank you.” You murmur softly. “I had a hell of a time and I want you to be safe.”

“Where’s my hundred bucks?” He teases and you snort, “I left it in your Jeep.” You reveal and he rolls his eyes, “I was only joking, hermosa.” You caress his chest and he kisses you softly again just as your gate is called. “Go, baby. I’ll see you around.” He pats your ass and winks at you. He knows he can’t say goodbye when you’re taking his goddamn heart with you so for now, he will say see you later and pray it’s not too rough when he’s alone in bed.

You give your ticket to the gate agent and you turn back to look at Javier one last time. His eyes are so damn expressive but you know he wants you to go. Instead of making a scene or declaring your love, you give him a saucy wink and a smile before you disappear onto the gangway. You haven’t exchanged numbers and you know you will never see Javier Peña again.

**** 

“Hey man. Thanks for buying lunch.” Chris says to his boss after he pulls out his wallet. “Sure.” Javier grunts, pulling out some cash and the photo strip you’d put in there falls out. 

Chris ducks down to get it and whistles as he sees the photos. “Goddamn. Nice set of tits.” He declares as he holds the strip and Javier growls, snatching it back from him. “Who was that?” Chris asks and Javier huffs, shoving his wallet back into his pants, “none of your fucking business.” 

**** 

“Who is that?” Walter asks his boss who smirks, “Javier Peña. Caught Cali. Fought to get Escobar. Big deal around here, man. He transferred to our office last week and he knows his shit. Tried to retire but apparently got bored and wanted back in. The higher ups in D.C let him have his choice and he chose to come here to be close to his dad. We are lucky as shit to have him here.” The boss announces even though Javier will be his boss. 

Walter nods, “what a legend. You think he’d want to have lunch with me? I could pick his brain about my case.” The boss shrugs, “worst he could do is tell you to fuck off.” Walter chuckles nervously and his boss walks off then Walter waits until just before lunch and finds Javier in his office, cigarette in hand. 

“Hey. I, uh, my name is Walter. You maybe wanna get some lunch? I have a case and I need some insight.” Javier looks up at the man who seems a little too green to be a DEA agent but he nods, knowing that he will sit in his office and have coffee and smokes for lunch unless he goes out. “Sure.” Javier nods and Walter beams, excited to speak to the legend that is Agent Peña. Lunch went well and Javier finds himself liking Walter. He reminds him of Steve and he finds himself going to lunch with him most days, discussing his case and Javier tries to assist with his experience as much as he can. 

“Listen, I really appreciate all your help. I wondered if you wanted to come for dinner. My lady makes an awesome pot roast and I’d like to thank you for all your help.” Javier hesitates, knowing that he’s stepping over the line to go to the guy’s house but he doesn’t have a lot of friends in Houston so he nods, agreeing and reminding himself that he needs to make friends otherwise he will be a lonely fucker.

“Sweetheart, it’s really important.” You try to suppress a sigh as you add running to the store to the ingredients to make a pot roast for dinner to your list of chores. Walter is great, but sometimes he does things without talking to you, when it adds more work to your already full plate. You feel slightly ungrateful, since you just moved in with him, out of the older, rough neighborhood where you lived and it has been a wonderful thing - you just feel like he’s trying to push you into being a perfect suburban housewife. Something you honestly weren’t. 

“Mooooooom!” You nod when your son starts to call for you, needing help with his toy again, you hate that Walter had brought that damn thing home, but you get that he was trying to bond with your son. “Sure.” You agree, setting down the t-shirt you had been folding. “I’ll go to the store in the morning. I’m off anyway.” 

Javier rubs his hands on his jeans as he stands outside the perfect little suburban house. It’s cute and makes Javier wonder for a brief moment if this is what his life with Lorraine would’ve looked like. He hesitates for a second, glancing down the street and he knows he needs to socialize more. He clears his throat and rings the doorbell. He hears footsteps and the door opens and he looks down, his eyes wide when he sees a little boy. “Hi mister.” He says and Javier chuckles, looking up and he asks, “is your dad home?” The boy shakes his head, “he’s not my daddy.” Javier nods and he smiles because the little boy looks like he did at that age. 

Walter appears a moment later, “hey man. Sorry about him.” He says and ushers the little boy away, “come in.” Javier chuckles again, stepping into the house. Walter shouts your name and Javier pauses briefly at the name that’s haunted him for years. He knows it can’t be you but he freezes when you walk out of the kitchen and Walter wraps his arm around your waist.

Your heart stops, the man you’ve thought about every day for nearly six years. The one you think of every time you look in your son’s face. Your stomach churning, you realize that Walter is introducing you and you plaster a slightly sick, polite smile on your face. When you had come back to the states, you had realized that you were pregnant and by the time you had gathered the courage to call the embassy in Colombia to tell Javier, he had left. You had kicked yourself for not exchanging information, but you had taken it as a sign that you were supposed to be a single mother and had persevered. It was hard, damn hard, and you had always wondered if Walter had ever heard of the father of your child since he was DEA, but you had never talked about him with your boyfriend. Keeping the memory of Colombia to yourself beyond telling him that you had been when you were younger.

Javier feels like he’s been kicked in the gut. He’s thought about you damn near every day for six years. The woman he let go and he never got her phone number. He kicked himself every fucking day and here you are in front of him with his coworker and a little boy that looks just like him who’s about 5. He swallows harshly, stepping forward to shake your hand, and he is certain that Walter doesn’t know. He wouldn’t invite Javier to dinner to read him the riot act for abandoning a child he never knew about. Your hand is soft and Javier hates the spark that travels up his arm when he touches you. You’ve changed your hair and you look a little older but no less beautiful than the day you left Colombia. “It’s nice to meet you.” He manages to choke out, hating that he can't just pull you into his chest.

Swallowing harshly, your voice cracks slightly when you speak. “Ni-nice to meet you.” He’s going along like you’ve never met and while you are grateful because you don’t know how you will explain this to Walter, it also hurts. You wonder if he’s as shaken as you are. “Walter - he said you work together?” You ask, wondering why the hell he didn’t at least tell you Javier’s name. “He doesn’t talk about work much.” You confide. “Too much of it is classified.”

Javier nods, “yeah. I just transferred to the Houston office. I was down in Cali Colombia for a few years, Medellín before that. Came back home to retire and got restless so I’m here in Houston. No family to keep me busy so Walter took pity on me and invited me for dinner.” He explains, rubbing his cheek for a second and your son rushes off to get the new toy Walter bought him. 

“Do you like my car?” He asks Javier who kneels down, knowing in his heart that this is his son. He always knew it would happen one day, that he’d accidentally get someone pregnant.

You bite your lip when you see Javi with your son. You see the silent confirmation in his eyes when he looks up. He knows that your son is his. “I’ll go get some drinks.” You offer, needing a moment to compose yourself and you rush off to the kitchen, knowing you will pour yourself one to drink before  making anyone else’s.

Javier is still kneeling down admiring the car and he asks the little boy his name, “it’s Diego.” He declares proudly and Javier can’t help but smile, “Diego.” He repeats the boy’s name and he lets him talk about the car until Walter interrupts. “Enough with the damn car, kid. Go to your room until dinner is ready.” Javier clenches his jaw but knows it would be wrong for him to say anything and he stands up, winking at the little boy, “I wanna see the rest of your collection before I leave.” Diego grins and rushes off just as you bring a tray of drinks into the living room. “Thanks, her- thanks.” Javier corrects himself as he takes the drink from your tray.

You nod and Walter kisses your cheek as he takes his own drink. “Thanks, babe.” He takes a sip of his whiskey and chuckles. “This is the first time we’ve entertained since you’ve moved in.” He realizes before he looks at Javi. “She wasn’t living in the best neighborhood when we met. It’s actually how we met.”

That rubs Javier wrong, knowing that you lived in a shitty neighborhood with his son. He looks at you and you avert your gaze, smiling at Walter. “It wasn’t that bad.” You argue and Walter scoffs, “they had fucking gunshots every night.” Javier grips his glass a little tighter. “It’s a good thing you live in such a perfect suburb now.” Javier offers Walter a smile.

“Yeah, I wanted to get her out of there.” He boasts. “She was too good to be there wasting away and the kid is in a better school.” You feel uneasy about the conversation, because you had seriously looked at all the aspects when you were debating moving in with Walter. “We met because I called in about some drug houses nearby.” You explain. “Walter was the agent who came out to investigate.”

Javier nods in understanding and wishes he had been the agent to respond to that call but that’s below his rank and he wasn’t in town at that stage. “Meth house. Luckily she called in, because that place was moments away from exploding.” Walter declares and Javier snorts, “idiots trying to make shit they don’t understand. They always try to do it on the cheap. Best meth houses I’ve seen are in nice houses.” Javier explains, “I’m glad you’re in a better place.” Javier says to you with sincerity.

You smile quickly, conflicted even more now that you see Javier again. All the feelings you had sworn were faded to a bittersweet memory are rushing back and you feel guilty about that. “Thank you.” You murmur softly. “I just want the best for Diego.”

Javier nods, glad that you seem to have been handling being a single mother. The guilt feels like rocks settled in his stomach but he can’t talk to you about it right now. Obviously Walter doesn’t know who the father is and you aren’t volunteering the news. “I can’t believe you took down Cali. What was it like? Your time there?” Walter asks and Javier sighs, “it was difficult. The men that commit those kinds of crimes have no empathy, no emotion. They just do what they please. No rules and that makes it difficult to handle. Imagine fighting an enemy that doesn’t care if women and children are killed. It’s hard to fight an endless war. I was lonely. It’s hard, you can’t make connections because those people are at risk. I fought hard but I’m glad to be back home.”

You bite your lip, remembering the almost desperate ways Javi would hold onto you, especially while he was inside you. Like he was afraid of losing you. You wish you had stayed, despite the danger, giving him a refuge. “Hopefully you had someone?” You probe, making it seem innocent, but really asking if he had moved on to someone else after you had left.

“For about a month or so but she had to leave. After that…I was alone. Didn’t want to put anyone in danger.” He reveals to you with a soft smile and Walter chuckles, “I heard you were in whorehouses every night.” Javier shakes his head, “not when I was in Cali. During the Escobar years, yeah. I did what it took to get the job done and men like to spill their secrets while inside a woman.” He says, “it’s what we had to do.”

The timer in the kitchen buzzes and you jump slightly, caught up in the memories of Cali. “That’s dinner.” You huff with a small laugh. “Let me get it on the table while you two talk.” Your cheeks burn, feeling his eyes watching as you escape back to the kitchen. Unable to believe that Javier is back in your life.

Javier sits down at the table and Diego comes rushing in, hungry for his dinner, and Javi finds he can’t take his eyes off of the young boy. He’s missed so much of his life and he needs to speak to you because he doesn’t want to miss anything else. Walter occupies the dinner with his stories about his cases and Javier hums and nods in the right spots while you and Diego talk about his school day. Javier would rather listen to the little boy but he forces himself to listen to Walter. “That was incredible.” Javier declares, his plate clean, and you offer him that smile that seemingly still makes his heart flutter.

“I made a cake for dessert.” You offer. “Tres leche, it’s Diego’s favorite.” You explain, ignoring the way Walter rolls his eyes. He sometimes accuses you of spoiling your son, but in your defense, he’s entitled to have special treats because for so long they were luxuries you couldn’t routinely provide. “And I made some coffee?”

Javier smiles, “sounds delicious. Let me help with the plates.” He offers and Walter shakes his head, “the boy can do it.” Javier clenches his jaw and looks at his coworker. “I’ll handle it. He is still a little kid.” Javier stands up and grabs the plates, stacking them while Diego glances across the room to his pile of toys with longing. “He needs to learn some manners.” Walter scoffs and Javier refrains from punching the prick talking about his son like that. He doesn’t respond and makes his way into the kitchen, “were you ever gonna tell me? Why didn’t you call?” Javier whispers, pissed off that you didn’t let him know he has a kid.

Glancing towards the door, you motion for him to be quiet. “I did.” You murmur quietly. “You had already left Colombia.” You know you could have tried harder, but you were just trying to focus on your pregnancy at the time.

Javier stares at you, his chest tightening and he feels a little sick. “Jesus. I- I had left and I didn’t even - I didn’t have your number otherwise I would’ve called you. I’ve missed out on so much. I’m so sorry.” He chokes, closing his eyes for a second.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.” You murmur softly. “It’s not your fault. It just….happened.” You know Walter will be expecting cake and coffee, so you pull the cake out of the fridge and start slicing it.

Javier doesn’t like the way you seem to jump to whatever Walter wants but it’s not his place to say anything. “Can I - I want to get to know him. To be his father. Can we have a time where I’m introduced to him officially?” Javier asks, wanting to make sure you’d be okay with that.

“I- I don’t know-“ you hesitate to say no because you know that Javier would be a good father. “Let me think about it.” You decide, knowing that would have to be good enough for right now. You plate up the slices of cake and pour the coffee. “Alright! Who’s ready for cake?” You call out, making Diego cheer.

Javier’s chest tightens and he knows he has no right to demand access to his son after you’ve raised him alone but he desperately wants the chance to be the father his son should’ve had from birth. He sighs and follows you out to the dining room where Diego has his toy car and Walter is staring at the TV in the corner of the room that is on mute.

“Here you go, mijo.” You smooth his hair down, pressing a kiss to his head and Diego ducks in embarrassment. “Moooom.” He huffs, even if he’s excited for cake. You chuckle and serve Walter his cake as well, going back to the kitchen for the coffee.

Javier watches you walk into the kitchen for a second before Walter clears his throat and asks Javier about the latest case against some thugs from the city that just got busted in the biggest drug seizure in the U.S. Javier shrugs, “even the biggest operations mess up. It’s about timing and tenacity.”

Walter shrugs. “They are all stupid, they are dealing drugs.” He tells Javi. “I don’t know how they think they can outsmart us.”

Javier snorts, “a lot do. They have one thing we don’t have: no rules. They can do whatever they want. They don’t have red tape and paperwork and warrants. They don’t care about innocents getting hurt. They only care about their money and they will do whatever it takes to get it. A lot slip under the radar because of it.” Javier shrugs and takes a bite of the cake, moaning at the taste. “This is just like my mama used to make.”

Walter snorts at his answer while you beam, bringing the cups of coffee back into the room, a cup of milk for Diego. “Thank you.” You set his coffee down and hand Walter his. “Diego, when you finish your cake, it’s bath time.” The boy groans and huffs quietly but he nods. “Yes mama.”

The boy digs back into his cake but is slower this time, making Javier chuckle and Walter huffs, “when he’s in bed, we can have a smoke and talk about that case down on the border.” Javier nods and you set his coffee down, just like he used to have it. “Thank you.” He says, his eyes lingering on you for a second too long.

Walter lifts a brow, but he doesn’t say anything, patting you on the ass as you walk by to your chair. You bite your lip, not looking over at Javi as you pick up your fork. “I’ll let you two talk while I clean up then.”

Javier watches you gather Diego to get him ready for bed. The five year old whines in protest which makes Javier chuckle because he used to do the same to his mama and he ignores the way Walter looks at him with curiosity.

“Didn’t take you for a man who likes kids.” Walter snorts after making sure that you are in the hall bathroom and the water is turned on. “I’m not really either, but mom is worth it.” He brags. “Plus the little snot isn’t so bad. Not like he has a dad to run to when he doesn’t like me.”

Javier taps his fingers on the table, “he’s a cute kid. Seems like she’s raised him well. As for the dad…well, you never know. He could show up one day.” Javier says and Walter snorts, “unlikely. She said it was a one night stand.” Walter says and Javier’s heart aches at that. He knows he didn’t call you but you spent a lot of time together during your stint in Colombia.

In the bathroom, you are playing with Diego, laughing as he scrubs the bubble through his hair and barely manages not to get too soaked as he splashes with his toys. Javier is here. He knows about your son. You look at the boy you had created with him and you sigh softly. Wondering if you are doing the right thing. The same worry you’ve had since you found out you were pregnant with your son.

Javier and Walter talk about the case down on the border with the drug mules and he finally takes his leave just as you come out from getting Diego in bed. “I’m heading out. I have a meeting early in the morning.” Javier says, “thank you for dinner. It was, uh, great to meet you.” He says and you nod, “yeah. You too.” You respond and Walter slaps Javier on the back as he guides him to the front door. Javier glances back at you before he steps out of the house, reeling from the fact that he has a son. The question is if you are going to let him be involved.

****

The phone rings as you open the door, Diego rushing in with his school bag to drop it and play with his toys and you hurry to where the phone is hanging on the wall. “Hello?” You answer breathlessly, wondering if it’s Walter since he’s supposed to be working late tonight.

Javier hesitates for a second before he says your name, “it’s Javier. I- I wanted to talk to you while Walter isn’t there. I want…I want to meet my son. Officially.” He declares, knowing he has a right even if he hasn’t been there for the past five years. He didn’t know about his existence.

“Javi….” You grip the phone tight and turn around so Diego won’t see you, he’s busy with his toys but you don’t want him to see you upset. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You admit. “Walter doesn’t- he doesn’t know who Diego’s father is. I don’t want to complicate things.”

“I won’t tell him. If you don’t want him to know. I just - I need to meet him. See him. I can’t carry on and pretend like I don’t have a son.” He runs his fingers through his hair, his fingers flexing around the phone.

His plea tugs on your heart and it makes you feel even more guilty about not calling the embassy sooner. How would things have been different if you had told him? He had been firmly of the opinion he wasn’t a family man, and yet he is wanting to know Diego. “I- Walter is working late tonight.” You tell Javi. “So I had planned on taking Diego to the park in about an hour.”

“What park?” Javier asks, reaching for a notepad to write down the park name. He’s determined to be there for his son. He won’t be an absent father even if Walter doesn’t like it. You tell him the name and he nods, telling you he will see you there in an hour.

Sighing softly, you hang up the phone and turn to your son. “Mijo, you want to go to the park?” Your energetic five year old is always ready for the park and he jumps up from his toys with an excited cry. “Yeah!” The pure joy on his face makes you smile. “Come on then. Dinner first okay?”

Javier pulls into the park and he’s thankful when he spots you and Diego already there so he doesn’t have to hang around the parking lot like a creepy old man. He gets out and makes his way over to the bench where you are sitting. “Thanks for meeting me.” He says as he sits down beside you.

“You’re welcome.” You are nervous, something that is so odd considering you were so open and free with Javier at one point in time. You take a deep breath. “Okay….let's hear it.”

Javier watches Diego from across the park, his smile wide as he plays with another kid. “I get it. I told you one night that I wasn’t the guy who got married and had kids. Told you about Lorraine and all that shit. I get why you wouldn’t tell me. I’m not gonna win father of the year but I’d at least like to try. I’ve missed out on so much with him and I want to be there for my son. Even if…even if you don’t want him to know I’m his dad.”

“I tried to call.” You remind him, reaching out and touching his arm before you remember that you shouldn’t be reaching for the man who isn’t your boyfriend. “I didn’t want to call the DEA and ask about you. And when I met Walter….” You sigh. “I was afraid it would be wrong of me to use him to find you. I don’t regret keeping Diego.” You promise, turning and smiling as he runs for the slide. “He’s the light of my life.”

Javier smiles, wishing he could reach for your hand but you’re not his, you never were. “Walter doesn’t seem to be all in on being a stepfather.” Javier observes and he sighs, “sorry. That was - that was out of line. It’s not my place.” He shakes his head, “you’re with Walter. I just - I want the best for my son. Even if that means me stepping away.”

You frown, hearing him voice your own private worries. You’ve noticed that the friendliness of your boyfriend had worn off, but you had assumed that it was just the growing pains of moving in together. He wasn’t used to kids. “If I had- if you knew, would you have wanted to be involved?” You ask curiously.

Javier nods without hesitation. “I would have been involved. I was raised to take responsibility and I would’ve absolutely been there for you and our son.” He promises, glancing at you.

You had known that he would, but you lean a little closer. “Would you have resented me for it?” You press. “I don’t want Diego to just be a responsibility to you, you don’t owe me anything.”

Javier shakes his head, “I would’ve never resented you for getting pregnant. I was - I was surprised it had never happened by accident when I was in Colombia before during Escobar. Always mentally prepared for it to happen. I’m back home now and I tried to retire, to stay on my Pa’s farm and relax but I didn’t have any purpose. I need a purpose and my purpose now is my son. I want to know him. I want to be there for him. Not out of obligation but out of want.”

His words make your heart melt and you bite your lip. “I think you should get to know him.” You admit. “I would love that. I just- I need to figure out how to tell Walter at some point.” You know you can’t keep it a secret, but you are dreading the conversation.

Javier nods, “whenever you’re ready. I’m not going to rush you on that. I do want to be there for our son but I’m not here to mess with the life you’ve created.” He promises just as Diego rushes over. “Mom. Mom. Look what I found.” He holds out his hand towards you and shows you the shell he found in the sandpit.

“It’s so pretty, mijo.” You coo over the shell, knowing how much he loves finding pretty little things and you pull him close. “Do you remember mister Javi, from dinner the other night?” You ask, making him look over at Javier with a quick nod. “He wants to see all my cars!” He nearly shouts it with excitement, always eager to show off his toys and talk about them. It makes you smile. “Uh huh he does, but, there’s a big surprise that we want to tell you about.” You explain. “I’ve met mister Javi before. He’s your daddy.”

Diego's eyes widen as he looks at Javier who offers him his soft smile, "hey buddy. I'm your dad." He says quietly and Diego stares at him before his brow furrows and he says "I'm five. Where were you?" The little boy asks Javier who shifts awkwardly on the bench but leans closer. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. I was fighting bad guys and it wasn't safe for your mommy and you. I am back home now and it's safe."

“He didn’t know, baby.” You promise him. “He was doing things to fight the bad guys and it was scary. So I didn’t tell him.” You are willing to take the blame. “But he wants to know you.”

Diego's lip trembles slightly as he looks between his parents until he surges forward to wrap his arms around Javier's neck, dragging him down until Javier shifts onto his knees on the gravel and wraps his arms around the little boy. His eyes sting with unshed tears and he closes his eyes, unable to believe that he's holding his son.

Tears slip down your cheeks as you watch Javi hold his son close. Pressing your hand to your mouth to keep from making a sound, you know you were so wrong to keep Javi from his son. You wish you had your camera with you to take a picture of the sweet moment.

Javier rubs his back and pulls back after a moment to look at Diego. He cups his cheek and smiles at him, "I'm here now, mijo." He murmurs, stroking his cheek. "You wanna go on the swings?" He asks, wanting to have a bonding moment with him.

You don’t offer to go with them, wanting them to have a moment to themselves. You had wondered what Javi would ever do if he found out you had his child and now you have your answer. He might not ever have felt anything more than causal affection and lust, but it’s obvious he wants a connection with his child. You just wonder how this will complicate things for him at work with Walter. You’ll have to tell him at some point.

Javier grins as he pushes Diego on the swings, enjoying the way his son laughs and squeals. He cannot believe how much he's missed out on but he's determined to be there now for his son. Diego escorts him around the playground and Javier follows him until you call out that it's getting late. Javier is disappointed but understands as he guides Diego over to you. "Time to go buddy." Javier announces, his hand on the little boy's shoulder squeezes to reassure him.

“We will play again, right?” Diego demands and you quickly nod. “We will, sweetheart. I promise.” You glance from him to Javier and bite your lip. “Soon. As soon as we can, alright? Your daddy and I will work something out.”

Diego nods and Javier bends down to give him another hug. “You listen to your mom, okay? And I’ll see you soon.” He promises the little boy who grins at his father. “Call me when you can.” Javier says, taking a piece of paper out of his pocket. “My number is on there.”

You look at the scrap of paper and wonder how different things would be if you had given him your number so long ago, or if you had a number for him in the states. Nodding, you tuck it into your pocket and take Diego’s hand. “We should get back. I’m sure Walter will be home in a few hours.” You tilt your head. “You must not be working on the same case, since you’re here. He said he’s going to have a busy week this week.”

Javier frowns, "I didn't hear about a case but Walter might be working on something new. Things can move fast sometimes." Javier says and he is confused because there hasn't been a meeting about anything other than the border issue, which is still ongoing.

You smile and shrug. “Like I said, he doesn’t discuss much with me.” It’s completely different than when you and Javi were tangled together, sweaty and satiated in your little hotel room. That was when he was the most talkative, sometimes confiding in you and sounding things out. You miss that. “How are you sleeping?” You ask, wondering if he’s still plagued with sleepless nights. He had claimed that sleeping beside you had been peaceful and hopefully he had learned what made that so good.

He shrugs one shoulder, “some nights are good. Some…well, whiskey is a good companion.” He snorts, “only have it on nights I really can’t sleep.” He admits and knows he shouldn’t drink as much as he does but it’s how he quells the nightmares. Sex hasn’t really been an option since he came home. Well, since you.

You sigh softly and Diego tugs on your hand, impatient to not be standing around and talking. Bored now that he’s not playing. “I-I’ll call you, okay?” You offer. “To set something up, and….talk.” You know he had a million questions that need to be asked when Diego isn’t around and you owe him that.

Javier nods, “thanks, hermosa.” He says without even thinking about the nickname. “I- I appreciate this more than you’d ever know.” He promises and looks down at Diego. “See you soon, buddy.” He winks and Diego waves at him. Javier makes his way back to his truck and gets in, flexing his fingers on the steering wheel as he watches you get Diego into the car. He’s missed you and to know that you are with someone is killing him but he has to accept it.

****

“It’s just a bowling party.” You feel guilty for lying to Walter, but he’s been busy anyway. Coming home late for the past two weeks since he’s been putting in a lot of overtime on his new case. There hasn’t been time to sit down and have a serious talk with him about Javi being Diego’s father. Still, your stomach churns and you wish you had just been honest in the beginning instead of sneaking around to meet Javi so he can spend time with his son. They’ve met nearly every other day and you’ve always been along, trusting Javi, but wanting to be there for Diego. You clutch the phone in your hand and turn to look at the clock. “We’ve got to go if we are going to make it on time. You’re working late again?”

Walter hums down the line as he shuffles his papers. “Yeah. Late night again. Trying to catch these bastards.” Walter says and you move around the house with the cordless phone at your ear, gathering Diego’s things. “We will see you later then.” You say and Walter just grunts and ends the call. When you arrive at the bowling alley, Javier is already there. He bought the lane and got some shoes for himself but didn’t know about your size and Diego’s. He shifts awkwardly but smiles when you walk in. “Hey.” He waves after he stands up.

“Daddy!” Diego breaks away from you and rushes towards Javier, obviously excited to see him. Every interaction has shown you what a good man, a good father Javier is. You had known he would be, but you find yourself dangerously comparing the men in your life and you know that it’s not fair to Walter. You owe him your heart because you are with him and he’s been so good to you. However, Javier is just so natural with your son. “Hey.” You follow behind, greeting him when he’s holding Diego up and hugging him tight. “You weren’t waiting long, were you?”

Javier shakes his head, “no. Not long. I ordered some drinks. Juice for Diego. Got you a beer.” He smiles and gestures to the lane, “and I had them put the guards up and got a slide so Diego can get a strike.” He winks at his son who beams back, excited to do this with his dad.

“Thanks.” You know you shouldn’t accept it, but it’s been a long week and a beer will be nice. “I’ll go get him some shoes.” You tell Javi and he hands you two tickets. “I want you to play too.” He murmurs. “Do this together.” You feel your stomach churn in pleasure at him thinking about you and nod. “Sure.” You smile and nod, taking the tickets and turning towards the booth that has all the bowling shoes.

Once you and Diego have your shoes, Javier helps his son line up the ladder and he lifts the ball onto the top, holding on. "You ready, mijo? On the count of three. One...two...three!" Javier says and Diego lets go of the wall, watching it roll down the lane in the middle until it hits the pins and takes all ten down. "Good job!" Javier cheers, lifting Diego up and he grins, looking up at his father.

Another moment you know they deserve. You clap happily for Diego and cheer, knowing he will be proud of himself and in turn, love Javi even more. “Way to go!” You are completely taken aback when they turn to you, their grins are the exact same and you shake your head in awe of it.

Javier plays the next bowl and gets his own strike, Diego eagerly high fiving him for his success and Javier comes over to you. “You turn, hermosa.” He says, writing down his score on the card.

“Sooo much pressure.” You huff, grinning at the way Diego is perched between Javi’s legs the second his dad sits down. It’s as if this is a normal family outing, the three of you never being apart. “Let me seeeee.” You walk over to the ball return and pick up the red ball Diego had used. “Can I use this for luck?” You ask and turn when your son says it’s okay. You spin the ball down the lane and only manage to knock down one pin. “Well….darn.” You huff, having cut down on your cursing around your son.

Javier tuts, patting Diego's shoulders as he stands up. "You can do it, hermosa." He says and walks over to you, grabbing the same ball when it returns. He reaches for you, showing you how to position your feet and he stands behind you, helping you pull your arm back to throw the ball down the lane.

You aren’t paying attention to a word he says. Too busy inhaling the smell of his cologne, the same one he wore in Colombia, so it’s a familiar scent. You shiver slightly and bite your lip as you stumble forward to let the ball go down the lane.

Javier holds your waist as you watch the ball roll down the lane until it hits right in the middle and the pins all fall down. “Yeah! Mommy!” Diego cheers and Javier pulls you into his arms to hug you. “Good job, hermosa.” He cheers and you embrace him for a second until he’s pulling back, clearing his throat when he realizes he overstepped. “Uh, I’ll write down the score.” He says, stepping back to the podium while Diego rushes to hug you.

You hate how your entire body reacts to Javi’s touch and it’s clear to you that you still have feelings for him. You’ve never stopped having feelings, but the physical attraction is still there. You concentrate on Diego and let him praise you for the turn before you busy yourself helping him with his next roll.

Javier realizes that he’s overstepped and he knows that if Walter were there, he’d be rightfully punching his lights out. Javier takes a gulp of his beer and Diego rushes over, asking for his help to line up his ball. Javier nods and stands, his eyes glancing at you for a moment until he’s helping Diego line up the slide for the ball. When you finish bowling, Diego is whining about leaving his dad. “We will go to the movies soon, buddy.” He promises and ruffles Diego’s hair.

“I wish I could sleep over at your house.” He tells his dad and turns his big eyes over to you. “Johnny has sleepovers at his dad’s house on the weekends. They go eat breakfast together and sometimes his mommy comes too.” You bite your lip and look up at Javi. “We will have to talk about that.” You tell your son, not wanting to say no, but not sure if Javi actually wanted the responsibility of taking care of Diego without you.

Javier wants that. He wants more time with his son. With you. He can’t have that though so he has to settle for seeing his son now and then and wanting you when he’s alone in bed thinking about those precious weeks in Colombia. Looking back, he fell in love with you at that time and refused to acknowledge it, but those feelings apparently never left because it’s like a punch in the gut when he sees your smile. “Me and your mom will talk, buddy.” He promises and you glance at your watch. “We better be heading home.” You announce and Diego pouts just like you do, making Javier smile. “We will check the movies in the newspaper soon, mijo. Go see something.” Javier promises and Diego nods. You get your shoes on after handing the bowling ones to the desk and when you’re ready, Diego rushes over to hug his daddy goodbye. Javier kisses his hair and rubs his back, “see you later.” Javier stands up and smiles at you, stepping forward to kiss your cheek, “see you later, hermosa.” He murmurs, resisting the urge to kiss you to see how you’d react but he can’t overstep and ruin this for this son.

Your eyes flutter closed and if you just turned your head a few inches to the left, your lips would be against his again. You’ve imagined it a thousand times, as guilty as that makes you feel. You need to talk to Walter and you need to be honest with yourself about what you want. Your future seemed so easy before Javier showed back up in your life, but now…. Now, you dream about a dark haired man that had been the best lover of your life and is the father of your son. You are so screwed.

**** 

Javier rubs his forehead, the cigarette in his hand as he looks over the file to sign off on the latest case. He sighs and taps his cigarette on the edge of the ashtray and glances at the clock. It’s late. Everyone should be gone from the office but he hears a scream. Standing up in shock, Javier rushes through the office, wanting to make sure no one has been hurt. He’s confused why anyone is here. Most people leave as soon as the day is done. The scream happens again and he rushes through the office until he comes to an open door. Walter’s office. He stands there, taking in the scene. Walter has a woman on his desk, her legs around his waist as he fucks into her and Javier clenches his jaw. 

The bastard is cheating on you. He doesn’t confront him, not wanting to let him get ahead on his story with you even if Walter doesn’t know that Javier has seen you since that dinner at his house. Javier turns and heads back to his office, knowing he needs to tell you but he doesn’t know how or when. He doesn’t want you to think he’s trying to intentionally ruin your relationship.

Looking at the clock, you sigh softly when the phone rings. It’s probably Walter, telling you that he’s working late again, even though you’ve already figured that out when he didn’t come home for dinner. Diego is asleep, you are watching tv and pondering what you are going to do. Since moving in with Walter, you’ve managed to save up some money, but it isn’t much. Still, you feel so disconnected from the man you are living with, you know that it’s not right to continue living here. You’re using him, since all your thoughts are focused on Javier Peña. “Hello?”

“Hey. It’s me.” Javier says and you lean against the wall, holding the phone. “Javi.” You murmur and he isn’t sure how to tell you. “I need to talk to you. Can I come over?” He asks, knowing that Walter isn’t done yet. He’s usually gone for hours from what you said in the past.

It’s late and you almost say no. It’s a bad idea to have Javi here, but there’s an urgency to his voice that makes you hesitate. “Is everything okay?” You ask, but he just asks if he can come over again and you bite your lip. “Sure. How long will it take you to get here?”

“I’m about to leave the office.” He says, “I’ll be there in ten.” He tells you and puts the phone down, grabbing his jacket. He strides out to his truck, knowing that Walter is still in his office with his secret lover, and Javier speeds to your house, getting out and ringing the doorbell.

You had just checked on Diego and when the doorbell rings, you rush to the door. “That was quicker than ten minutes.” You joke as he shuffles into the house and you close the door behind him. “Is everything alright? I- I made coffee.”

Javier nods, “yeah. I, uh, I - shit. I don’t know how to say this without sounding like the biggest asshole in the world because you could take it the wrong way but I was working late and I saw - I saw Walter fucking one of the secretaries.” He reveals, chest heaving slightly and he prays you don’t reject his claim.

You stop short, immediately furrowing your brows together. Javier has never lied to you, ever. He’s always been upfront and honest and you don’t see why he would lie now. “He’s what?” Your stomach twists and you wonder if this is the sign you needed to make your decision. “He’s supposed to be- are you sure?” You ask, shaking your head as a million different questions and thoughts jumble around in your brain.

“Call his office. He’s there. He was - he was in there with her and I- I’m so sorry.” He chokes, hoping you don’t hate him and he shakes his head, “call him. He’s at work, but he’s with her. I wouldn’t lie to you, cariño.” He promises and his eyes widen as you shake your head.

“I don’t believe it.” You fume, not mad at him, but at the audacity of your boyfriend. Why would he ever move you in and want to commit when he was cheating? Picking up the phone, you quickly dial his office phone.

Javier wipes his hands on his jeans, feeling guilty for coming to you to give you this news but he doesn’t want you or his son around a man that would cheat on you. He shakes his head and waits as you listen to the phone ring.

Your hands shake as you wait, the phone ringing nearly four times before you hear Walter answer. “Hey babe.” You coo, even though you want to scream at him. He’s breathless and panting as he greets you and asks what you want. Reminding you that he’s busy. “I just wanted to see what time you are coming home tonight.” You tell him. “You’ve been working a lot of late nights.” You hum, turning around and glaring at Javi as you listen to him lie to you and talk about how the case is kicking his ass. You hear a woman giggle in the background. Walter must think you are stupid. “Okay. Well, you be careful and I’ll see you when you get home, okay?”

Walter hums and says goodbye before the line goes dead and you stare at it before placing it back on the wall. “You’re right.” You tell Javier and he doesn’t say anything, “I’m sorry. I didn’t - I can’t stand by and watch him do that to you and our son.” He says and you nod, still shocked by the revelation.

“I have to leave him.” You murmur quietly, shaking your head again and feeling ashamed that you aren’t more upset. You don’t love him. You had been starting to realize that and when you heard that quiet giggle, it’s like every ounce of affection you had for him had died. “I have to pack.” You won’t stay here another night, you can’t. “God…okay, I need to pack.”

“You can come stay with me.” He volunteers, “I have a spare room and I- I don’t want you staying here if that’s the kind of guy he is. Or I can get you guys a hotel room and help you find an apartment. I don’t want to think about you and him here when he’s fucking some other woman. I’m so sorry.”

“God, I’m so stupid.” You blame yourself, you jumped in too soon. Taken in by his charm and wanting to get Diego out of the neighborhood you were raising him in. You wrap your arms around yourself and close your eyes. “I don’t know if you want us with you. You never signed up for this. I should get a hotel. I can manage one for a few days until I find something.” You know you will have to find a place quickly and even if you have some savings, it won’t be a great house in a nice neighborhood.

Javier shakes his head at you, “don’t be ridiculous. You aren’t going into a hotel. You’re coming home with me.” He says with command, not wanting his son and the mother of his son in some shitty motel. “Go pack your things, baby. Get everything important and we will come back for the rest.” He says, glancing around the house.

You blow out a breath, secretly relieved that he is insisting that you stay with him. “Okay.” You agree. “I won’t be too long. We sold most of my things to move in here with Walter.” You admit. “Mostly just our clothes and Diego’s toys.”

“Go get what you need. Then we will wake Diego and go.” He says, anxious to get you out of this house and away from a cheating asshole. He watches you grab a duffel bag and he walks over to the window to keep a watch in case Walter decides to arrive home early.

You quickly pack several outfits for you and your toiletries before sneaking into Diego’s room to do the same. It’s honestly a little sad how much of this home isn’t yours, but you hadn’t really thought about it before. Walter had just encouraged you to get rid of your old, secondhand things and promised to give you the best of everything. Apparently it was the price of him being unfaithful. You bring the bags out, the folder with your important papers in your bags and grab a laundry basket for your son’s toys.

Javier takes the bags, carrying them out to your car and he watches as you wake Diego up, gathering him into your arms after he complains about being woken up. “You want to follow me in your car?” Javier asks softly even if Diego snuggles into your neck.

“Yes.” You should leave a note for Walter, but honestly, what would you say? You grab his blanket, the one he’s had since he was a baby and wrap it around him. “Come on, baby.” You murmur softly. “We are going to have a sleepover at Daddy’s tonight.”

Diego grins, “daddy’s?” He asks and you nod, carrying him to your car. “Yes, sleepover.” Diego wakes up at that as you strap him in and Javier carries the last of your things into the car to get ready to leave Walter’s. “You ready, baby?” He asks after you shut the car door.

“Thank you.” You murmur quietly. “I know this isn’t at all what you wanted to do with your Friday night.” You blow out a small sigh. “Let’s get out of here before that asshole gets home. I want him to fucking worry about what the hell is going on.”

Javier chuckles, loving that you are fighting back against this asshole. “Good. Let’s go, hermosa.” He says and makes sure you’re in your car before he makes his way over to his truck so he can show you the way to his place. He pulls away from Walter’s and watches in the mirror to make sure you’re behind him as he drives.

You follow Javi and find that he lives in a nice little apartment complex, parking next to him when he pulls in and Diego is already asleep in the back of the car again. “We should probably get him in first.” You murmur quickly. “Do you want to carry him?”

Javier nods, “absolutely. Take my keys.” He offers his keys and you take them. He opens the car door and carefully unbuckles Diego before he carries him to his front door, watching you unlock it and he’s glad he cleaned up earlier. He carries him through to the spare bedroom and you pull the covers back so you can lay the little boy down before you cover him back up. “You get settled in. I’ll get your things.” Javier says and makes his way back out to get your bags.

You sigh softly and sit down beside Diego, brushing his hair back from his forehead and watching him as he flops over and starts to hug his pillow. He looks like Javi when he sleeps, even more than he does just existing. It makes you smile, even with the turmoil currently upending your life.

Javier carries your things into the spare room and locks your car so you have all your bags. “You want something to eat?” He asks, “or drink?” You snort, “a drink for sure.” He chuckles and gets you a glass of whiskey from his bar. “Here you go, hermosa.” He says, holding the glass in his hand.

You take the glass, reminding yourself that you just found out that your boyfriend - ex boyfriend - was cheating on you. The urge to lunge at Javi and fuck him isn’t right. It wouldn’t be fair to you or to Diego when he realizes he’s not the type to play happy family. He wants to be a father to the son you made, not be with you. “Thanks.” You sigh and take a large drink of the whiskey. “Fuck,” you chuckle to yourself and huff. “This was a hell of a way to make my decision.”

Javier watches you take a large gulp and he wishes you weren’t in his home under these circumstances. “Come sit down, hermosa.” He says, heading over to his sofa. He pats the space next to him and looks down at his own drink. “I’m sorry Walter is a fucking prick. I hate cheaters.” He shakes his head, “my Pa would kill me if I ever cheated.”

You snort and have to appreciate the honesty. “But it’s hard to cheat when you aren’t in a relationship.” You remind him. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe no one is relationship material. I didn’t love Walter, I know that now, but I was faithful. I tried to be a good girlfriend.”

Javier huffs, “don’t blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. He was a pig. Had you running around after him all the damn time. When I came over for dinner, he was…he was not good enough for you. You deserve more. You deserve to have an equal partner. A good relationship. Someone who loves you and cares for you and for Diego. He deserved better.” Javier says and you nod, taking another sip of your whiskey. “I’m sorry, hermosa.” He murmurs, glancing across the living room.

“It’s not your fault.” You are actually grateful that he let you know. You could have continued being oblivious to the facts. “I need to make a doctor’s appointment. Get tested because I know that fucker didn’t use a condom.”

Javier nods, “you are welcome to stay here as long as you want.” He wishes you would be here permanently but he can’t force his feelings on you when you just left Walter. There’s a knock on his door and Javier frowns, standing up. He makes his way over to it and checks the peephole, his jaw clenching when he sees Walter and he swings the door open and says “what the fuck are you doing here?”

You can tell by the tone that it’s Walter, although where you are sitting on the couch, he can’t see you. But you know that he might have seen your car in the parking lot. “I want to know why the fuck I come home and my house is empty, no note and I come over here to find my girlfriend’s car in the parking lot.” Walter spits, pushing into the apartment and snorting when he sees you on the couch. “What the fuck are you doing here? I introduced you to my co-worker. I didn’t expect you to fuck him.”

Javier shakes his head, “she called me to collect her for somewhere to stay because she found out you’re fucking Sally from the office.” Javier crosses his arms and you come to stand behind Javier. “You’re fucking kidding me?” Walter scoffs, “I took you and your little bastard into my house, took you out of that shithole apartment in the goddamn ghetto and you won’t allow me to have a little fun?” Walter growls and Javier hisses, “you need to get the fuck out.”

“No,” Walter shakes his head and steps towards you but Javi shuffles in front of him. “Stay out of this Peña.” The younger agent growls. “I know you’re thinking about getting some pussy from her, going for the easy lay, but the only reason I was fucking Sally was because she wasn’t satisfying me.” You choke out a huff and he smirks. “That’s right. You’re like a cold fucking fish in bed and I got tired of it.”

Javier grabs Walter’s collar, pulling him close. “You need to shut your fucking mouth.” He growls and Walter scoffs, “I’m not gonna put up with bad sex just to deal with a fucking bastard kid.” Walter chuckles and Javier pulls his fist back to punch Walter in the face. “That’s my goddamn kid you’re talking about.” He reveals as Walter stumbles back.

You gape in horror and arousal as Javi defends you and your son. If you didn’t know that you made the right decision to leave Walter, you know now. Calling your son a bastard has you seething. Walter shakes his head and sneers as he glances between you and Javi. “Colombia?” He remembers when you told him you had been to the country when you were younger, before you had Diego. “Fuck, Peña, you really did fuck anything, didn’t you?” He spits on the floor and shakes his head before tossing his hands up. “Fucking have her. You can deal with the little bastard and his worthless mother.”

The urge to punch him again is strong but Javier withholds it and grabs Walter by the shirt, pushing him towards the open door. “Get the fuck out. Now. Before I fucking kill you.” He warns and Walter scoffs but steps outside. He doesn’t argue as he leaves Javier’s apartment. Javier’s chest heaves after the door closes and he turns to look at you, “are you okay?”

Your chin trembles and you close your eyes to keep from crying. You can’t speak or you’re going to break down. Everything was nothing more than a shame. Some kind of sick game to Walter. Take you and your son out of a bad situation and make you the little housewife who would look the other way while he did whatever he wanted. It makes you sick.

Tears well in your eyes and Javier wastes no time in gathering you into his arms, his head resting on top of yours and he rubs your back, “it’s okay. I’m sorry. He was an asshole.” He murmurs, wanting you to know he’s sympathetic to your situation.

“I can’t believe I didn’t see it.” You murmur softly. “I was trying to- I wanted a better life for our son. I wasn’t- I didn’t see what Walter was really like.” You babble as you cling to Javi.

Javier rubs your back as you murmur until you shock him by tilting your head to press your lips to his. He pulls back immediately, knowing you aren’t in the emotional state to make a sound decision. “Baby, I - not like this.” He says, cupping your cheek, “not because that asshole was a prick to you.”

You pull away, horrified by the emotional reaction and how you’ve been rejected. “I- sure. Yeah.” You swallow harshly and feel like you’re going to throw up. “I get it. It’s- I should just go to bed.” You turn around to pick up the glass and rush towards the spare room you will share with Diego. Embarrassed and kicking yourself for thinking that you could forget about everything in Javi’s arms. He doesn’t want you, why would he? The only reason he is doing any of this is for Diego, not you.

Javier lets you go, watching you as you head into the spare room and he rubs his cheek, knowing he has hurt your feelings but he can’t take advantage, he can’t touch you or kiss you without knowing that you want him, love him as much as he loves you.

Retreating to the bedroom with Diego is a little bit like licking your wounds, but you use the bathroom right across the hall to wash your face and brush your teeth. Knowing that you will spend countless hours in bed staring at the ceiling. Wondering what is wrong with you. Javi had a chance to have you years ago and he let you go, why would he want a worse version of the one he had years ago? You sigh as you slip under the sheets and cut off the lamp. Your life is completely changed and you need to figure out a place to live quickly. To stand on your own two feet again.

Javier rubs his eyes as he prepares the coffee pot. He had been awake all night staring at the ceiling and wondering how the hell he’s going to tell you he loves you without you thinking he’s taking advantage of you after you’ve left Walter. He sighs and walks over to the fridge, opening it, and he wishes he had eggs or anything for breakfast but his breakfast usually consists of a cigarette and a cup of coffee. He will take you and Diego to that diner down the street.

Your son is still sleeping, sprawled in the bed and completely content as you slip out of it. Hearing movement from the main area tells you that Javi is awake and you quickly dress. You don’t think that he wants you walking around his apartment in your tank top and shorts, and it helps add a layer of armor to your tattered emotions. You need to ask him if he can watch Diego while you look for a place to live.

Javier turns as you walk into the kitchen and he offers you a soft smile, “morning, hermosa. You want a coffee? I- I’d offer breakfast but I don’t have any food. I thought we could go to the diner down the street. Diego can get pancakes.” Javier smiles, feeling hopeful and happy to have his son under his roof.

“Thanks.” You need coffee, so you gratefully accept a cup. “I’m going to find a place as quickly as possible.” You promise as he opens a cabinet and gets out a mug. “Get out of your hair. I know you didn’t expect to have me and Diego here. Diego, sure, but not the baby momma.” You huff a sarcastic chuckle at your own attempt at a joke and sigh. “I was thinking of looking today? If you wouldn’t mind watching D?”

Javier frowns, “you - you don’t have to leave so soon. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you want, baby. I didn’t expect to have you here because you were with Walter but I want you here, you and Diego. You don’t have to look today. Let’s go have breakfast.” Javier insists, feeling anxious about you leaving so soon.

You sigh softly. “It’s not a good idea.” You admit quietly. “I’ve been….I had been thinking about how to move out of Walter’s anyway, because I realized that I didn’t feel like I should for him.” You look away from him, not wanting to see the rejection on his face. “I never actually got over the man who is the love of my life, and if I stay, you’ll just be annoyed.”

Javier frowns, wondering who you had met that was the love of your life. It wasn’t Walter and it’s clearly not him. “I- you must - I’m sorry. I hope you find that man and tell him how you feel. All I want is for you to be happy.” He promises, “even if that means you leaving here.”

You chuckle, the sound slightly harsh against your ears. “It’s my fault.” You admit quietly with a small shrug. As if it was nothing important. “We had fun, I knew it was only ever going to be fun because he told me that.” You glance back over at him. “He put me on a plane, and I left my heart behind, but he gave me the best gift imaginable.”

Javier stares at you in shock, putting two and two together, and he can’t help himself. He cups your cheeks and surges forward to press his lips to yours. His heart pounding in his chest as he kisses you to show you how he feels about you.

You close your eyes. The feeling of him kissing you makes you sigh happily. Years of love for him aching in your heart and you know that even if Walter hadn’t been a cheating bastard, you would have had to break up with him. Now, you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer.

You kiss him back and his heart feels like it's about to burst. He sighs and pulls back, nudging his nose against yours as he takes the moment in. "I love you, hermosa." He murmurs, wanting you to know how he feels. "I did then. I was too scared to say it because you had to leave but seeing you again, it all came back to me. I love you." He declares again, kissing your forehead.

“I love you too.” You promise. “I just don’t want you to say that because of Diego.” You murmur. “I know I was hesitant in the beginning, but you love your son and he adores you.”

He shakes his head, caressing your cheeks, "not going to say it because of Diego. It's because of you. I love you, have for so many fucking years. I love you." He repeats, "I love Diego. I want you and our son. I want our family."

Closing your eyes, you lean into Javi and smile. Resting your forehead against his chest and huff out a laugh. “I suppose we should be grateful to Walter, for bringing us back together.”

Javier snorts, “yeah. Exactly. Asshole. I- I didn’t like him when I met him at work.” He confesses, rubbing his hands along your back after he lets go of your cheeks. “Let’s go get breakfast. I don’t want to make you stay here if you want to go slow but you are welcome to stay. I want you to stay.”

You huff and shrug. “I’m technically homeless right now.” You remind him. “I never want you to feel like I’m just using you though.”

Javier shakes his head, “never. Never think that. I just want you and our son with me. I want you. I want to protect you and our child.” He murmurs, leaning in to kiss you again, “I love you.” He still can’t believe you feel the same way.

“I love you too.” You groan, hating how you have been so stupid. You should have immediately left Walter after you realized you had feelings for Javi and you would have already had a screening to make sure you were safe. “Fuck, I need to make a doctor’s appointment.”

Javi chuckles quietly, hearing your frustrations and he nods. “That’s okay. We can wait.” He promises as you hear Diego cry out from the spare room, obviously scared because of waking up in a strange place. 

You rush back to the bedroom and quickly bundle him into your arms. “It’s okay, baby.” You reassure him. “We spent the night at daddy’s house, remember?” He had been tired when you moved him, so you don’t expect him to remember that. “Do you want to get dressed and go to breakfast?”

“Yeah. Mommy. I- we are in daddy’s house?” Diego asks, blinking rapidly and you nod, brushing his hair back, “yeah. We are.” Javier stands in the doorway, offering his son a smile. “Hey, mijo.” He greets the little boy who grins and scrambles out of bed to hug his father.

You smile as you watch Javi pick up Diego and hug him back just as fiercely. Over the last few weeks, the two of them have formed a bond that is unbreakable and you know that being here is the right choice. Walter didn’t love your son, apparently he didn’t even like him, but Javi loves Diego with everything he has. “I’ll get your clothes.” You tell him, standing up and moving over to your bags.

**** 

The three of you went for breakfast that day and Javier has never felt so complete. You stayed in bed with Diego for the last week since you wanted to get tested before anything happened between you and Javier was happy with that, he wanted to do this right so he went and got his own test done. He got the results today so he will tell you after Diego is in bed. He loves you so much and having you in his home this past week has made him realize that this was his purpose. Not chasing drug lords. His family is his purpose. Diego yawns as you watch TV with him and you smile, “time for bed, baby.” Diego doesn’t argue and you guide him into the spare room that is now his. “I’ll get him some water.” Javier says while you get Diego into bed and you are telling him goodnight when Javi returns with the glass of water and he sets it down on the nightstand. “Night, mijo.” Javier murmurs, leaning in to kiss his forehead.

You are so proud when Diego smiles sleepily at his father. “Night daddy.” He decided he liked ‘daddy’ over ‘papa’ and neither you or Javi have an issue with that. His night light is on and you smile as Javi tucks the cover up higher and walks back to the door so you can pull it closed. “He’s so happy to see you everyday.” You tell Javi as you both walk to the living room. “This was the right choice. You’ve both missed out on so much time together.”

Javier smiles, “I know. I want to make it up to you and him. I don’t want to miss another moment with our son.” He says and makes his way over to the sofa. The test results from his doctor on the coffee table. “I got my test results today. I’m clean. I don’t want to rush you but I wanted you to know I’m clean when you’re ready because I want to show you how I feel about you.”

You smirk at the paper as you pick it up. “I got a call from my doctor today.” You admit. “I’m clean. He should be emailing my results if you want to see.” You don’t want to wait anymore, but this needs to be a decision you make together. “And my birth control is expired, but I didn’t re-do it. I wanted to talk to you about the options first.” You don’t think Javi wants more kids, but your last birth control failed so you want him to be comfortable with what you choose.

Javier doesn’t need to see your results. He trusts you implicitly. “What do you want?” Javier asks you, reaching for your hands as you come to sit down beside him after he sets the paper down on the table. “I- I have condoms. I think I want us to enjoy being together before we make the decision to have another kid. And I’d like to buy a house. Create our space together. A room for Diego. Another room for a new baby.” He declares what he wants, “and I’d like to marry you before we have another.”

Your eyes widen when you hear him say he wants to marry you and have another baby. “I want you. You promise, pulling his hand up to kiss the back of it. “I’ve always wanted you. Even if you don’t want more kids or marriage or anything. I just want you. I love you. I love Diego. I want us to be a family.”

Javier grins, surging forward to press his lips to yours. He wants to show you how he feels. He drags you into his lap, his hands immediately finding your ass and he groans when you grind down onto him and he starts to harden beneath you. He’s jerked off to thoughts of you way too many times to count so he’s eager to touch you again.

“Javi.” You moan at the feel of his hands on your skin. You’ve dreamed of it for so long. Your fingers sink into his hair and all your inhibitions fade away. Walter’s comments about being a cold fish had hurt, but you’ve realized over the last few weeks that it was because you have never felt as free and comfortable with him as you do Javi.

Javier slides his tongue into your mouth and he playfully smacks your ass as you grind down onto him again. “Baby, baby.” He murmurs, kissing along your jaw after a moment. “Let me take you to bed.”

“Fuck, I want that.” You whine softly. “Javi- I need you. I’ve been so lonely. And no one was ever as good as you.” You murmur quietly. You’ve only had two lovers since coming back from Colombia, you had put Diego first, but they’ve not been as good as he is.

He grabs the back of your thighs, grunting as he shifts to stand up and he chuckles as he stumbles and turns fast to drop you onto the sofa. “I’m getting too fucking old to pick you up.” He confesses, “come on baby.” He holds his hand out to you. “Walk to my room with me?”

You huff in amusement and take his hand. “Old man.” You tease as you squeeze his hand. “Maybe you can’t fuck me like I remember.”

Javier scoffs, “never said I couldn’t fuck.” He assures you, escorting you into his bedroom and once you’re inside, he grabs your waist to pull you close, his lips finding yours once more.

You lean into the kiss, giving over to the feelings that have been there from the very beginning and denied while you were with Walter. Then tempered by the need to make sure that you both were safe. Now you are able to take what you want and touch him again.

His hands find the bottom of your shirt, parting from your lips as he lifts it over your head and he tosses it to the floor as he slides his hands up to your back to unclip your bra. “You’re so beautiful.” He murmurs, leaning in to kiss your neck.

You hum and your hands drift down to the buttons on the shirt. “I’ve missed you so much.” You grind your hips down and whimper quietly when he throbs against you. “So fucking much.”

He groans, pulling the straps of your bra down your arms. He tosses it on the floor and his hands immediately cup your tits, squeezing them. “I’ve missed these.” He groans, bending down to take your nipple into his mouth.

“Javi!” You gasp his name and cup his head on your chest as he suckles harshly. “Fuck, oh god, I’ve always loved that mouth of yours on me. No one ever made me feel like you do.”

He loves hearing you say that and he bites on your nipple, soothing it with his tongue and he groans as you tangle your fingers in his hair. He loves the way you moan when he switches to the other breast and he squeezes your breast.

Walter’s comments about how boring you are had hit a nerve and you guess you had become boring. You don’t want Javi to think that as well and push him away to slide down to your knees and reach for his belt buckle.

Javier watches you, his eyelashes fluttering as he lets you touch him how you want. He’s anxious to see you naked and see how you’ve changed. His stomach isn’t as slim as it used to be. “Fuck, baby.” He murmurs, lifting his hips when you pull his belt out of his pants.

“You’ve missed this, haven’t you?” You tease, popping the button of his jeans open and dragging the zipper down. It’s surprising to see him actually wearing underwear and you smirk as he drags his hips up again so you can pull everything down. Freeing his cock to slap against your stomach. “That cock.” You moan, mouth watering as you wrap your fingers around his girth. “Fuck, I’ve dreamed about sucking you off again.” You admit before you duck your head down and take him into your mouth.

“Mierda, tu boca es mi cielo.” He murmurs, caressing your cheek and he closes his eyes for a second before he opens them to watch you take his cock deeper. “Jesus Christ.” He hisses, “I thought about this a shit ton after you left. Jerked off so many times thinking about you.” He confesses, lost in the pleasure.

Your cunt flutters around nothing, stretching your lips around him and loving the way that he pushes against the back of your throat. Taking him deep had been your utter obsession and you’ve not had a lot of practice since him but you want this. You’re getting wetter by the second and you let some of your spit slide down the shaft so you can twist your fingers around the base.

“Baby. I don’t - hermosa. I don’t want to cum yet.” He warns you, “been a while since I’ve done anything but jerk off and I want to be inside you when I cum.” He warns you, moaning when you take him deeper but you choke and he caresses your cheek. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

You hum, smirking slightly as you remember him saying that over six years ago, in that little hotel room in Colombia. You pull off of him and press a kiss to the tip. “You want to be inside me, baby?” You coo, confident in his lust but you are a little worried that you might not live up to his memory.

He nods, reaching for you to pull you into his lap. He doesn’t want to hurt you so he shifts to lay you down in the bed, reaching for your leggings to pull them down your legs along with your panties. When you’re naked beneath him, he wastes no time sliding his hand along your thigh so he can push his fingers between your folds to rub your clit.

You whine, your body arching to his touch and gasping out his name. “Javi!” Your hand slides down his side and you try to touch him as much as you can. “I want- I thought you wanted to be inside me?”

“Not yet. Gotta stretch you out, baby.” He murmurs, sliding his hand back to push two thick digits inside of you. “So goddamn tight and wet.” He groans, leaning in to kiss along your neck while he starts to move his fingers inside of you.

You shudder in pleasure, shifting your hips to roll up to meet his hand. You had forgotten what it was like with Javi. He had always paid close attention to make sure you were ready for him. Your fingers grip his ass and you close your eyes. “Oh god. That feels so good.”

He loves the way you react as he pumps his fingers into your pussy, loving the way you squelch around his fingers. He wants you to cum for him before he fucks you. “Jesus, you’re so fucking gorgeous baby.” He murmurs, his cock aching for you.

His praises have always been so raw and earnest. It makes you clench down on his fingers and hiss his name in pleasure. The slick pressure of his fingers working you open is wonderful, quickly working you up until you are so close to cumming.

Javier loves it when you clamp down on his digits, soaking them and he scissors his fingers to make sure you are ready to take him. When you whine, he withdraws his fingers and looks at you, loving the hazy look in your eyes as you relax beneath him. “You ready for me baby?” He asks, caressing your side with wet fingers until he’s squeezing your tit.

“Yes.” You pant breathlessly. “I’ve been ready for six years. I’ve missed you, missed our connection.” It had always been more than sex, the easy relationship had been so freeing for you. The idealized goal that no matter what, Walter could have never lived up to. “Fuck me, Javi.”

He nods, leaning in to kiss you softly before he shifts to grab a condom from the nightstand. He shoves his pants and briefs down after he stands up, his cock throbbing as he looks at you on his bed. “So fucking gorgeous.” He murmurs, ripping the packet open so he can roll the condom down his cock. “You ready for me?” He asks, shifting to kneel on the bed and he runs his hands along the length of your legs.

“Yes.” You moan, spreading your legs wider in anticipation. You’re eager to feel him again, wanting the drag is his cock scraping your walls as you gasp his name. “You look so good hovering over me.” Your hand curls behind his neck and you urge him forward to kiss you. “I love you.”

“Te amo.” He murmurs, shifting onto his forearms and he reaches between you to grip his cock, shuffling closer so he can position his cock at your entrance, pushing into you with a groan and he turns his head to kiss you deeper.

It’s probably the best feeling in the entire world. You are stretched out by him, broken open as he pushes deep. Feeling so full that you moan into his mouth and lock your legs around his waist. Both of you panting at the overwhelming moment as he is buried to the hilt inside you.

He rests his forehead against yours, watching you for several moments, and he sighs, nudging your nose while he lets you adjust to him. “I’ve missed this so much. Thought about it way too many times. I fucking love you.” He declares breathlessly and grabs your hip to lift your thigh higher before he starts to rock inside of you.

It’s not nearly as frantic as the first time you had sex. There’s more of a hunger in the pace of his thrusts that has him pushing deeper and waiting before pulling his hips back. As if he hates leaving your body for even a few moments. You love it, head tilting back, you cry out when he hits that sweet spot, nails biting into his skin as he wrecks you for anyone else once again.

He loves the way you feel around him, beneath him, it’s more than he can handle but he inhales deeply and slows down a little more so he doesn’t finish too soon. He hasn’t had sex for a while and it’s you, the woman he loves beneath him. He rocks into you, swiveling his hips to grind deep, and he loves the way you moan his name.

You caress his back, urging him on with your own hips moving. Meeting his deep thrusts and as you kiss along his jaw. You’re complete. You and Javi together, your son safe and happy as he sleeps in his new room. It’s all you want and what you dreamed about when you were lonely during those hard years where you struggled. “Te amo.” You whimper, closing your eyes and sighing happily.

Javier needs you to cum, his hand snaking between you to rub your clit and he kisses along your neck, urging you to fall apart for him. “Cum for me baby.” He orders, biting down on your neck and he rubs your bundle of nerves.

“Fuck, Javi!” You whine his name, your body shutters at the simple, yet effective touch and you can feel your body start to tense. “I’m going cum baby, fuck!” It takes another half dozen swipes of his thumb and three more deep pumps of his cock before you are stiffening underneath him, crying out his name again as you come apart.

“Mierda.” He hisses as you clamp down on his cock. You’re so fucking beautiful and he loves it. Loves every day second of the way you squeeze his cock. He works you through it until you’re pushing his hand away and he groans as he rocks a little faster and harder into you. “I’m gonna cum.” He warns you, burying his face in your neck.

“Do it.” You whimper, wishing you had your birth control figured out so you could feel him inside you again. You understand, the risk is too much right now, but you always loved the feeling of him filling you up. “Cum for me baby.”

He groans as his thrusts stutter, pushing deep until he’s filling the condom with hot cum and your name is a groan on his lips. “Fuckkk.” He pants, closing his eyes as he lets the euphoria wash over him. His heart pounding in his chest while his cock twitches inside you.

You love the way the collapses on top of you. Pressed down into the bed by his body, you pant and start to slowly caress his back. “Fuck, I love you.” You murmur quietly. “I never should have left Colombia.”

He shakes his head, "you made the right choice. It was a shit show down there. I always knew you'd be walking onto the plane. I would've never let you stay there." He murmurs, shifting to pull out of you and he grips the condom, moving fast to tie it off and toss it onto the nightstand so he can curl around you. "I loved you then and I love you now. That never changed. We are here and I plan to make up for every second we were apart." He smiles, kissing your shoulder.

“Diego will hold you to that.” You joke, curling into his embrace even more. “He loves having his daddy with him and you love him too. I can tell. For a man who never wanted a family, you are really good at it.”

Javier smiles, kissing your hair, "I didn't live a life that was appropriate for a family. I have stability now and I am ready for this, for you, for Diego. I am all in." He promises you and closes his eyes, "I meant what I said. I want to marry you. Have more kids."

“I want that too.” You murmur softly. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to experience Diego as a baby.” You apologize, shifting to turn to face him. Reaching up, you caress his cheek. “I want you with me for the rest of our lives, Javi. I love you. I loved you in Colombia and that’s never gone away.”

Javier hums, reaching for your hand to kiss the back of it, “we have the rest of our lives.” He murmurs and you kiss his cheek. He is so happy right now. He has you and Diego and he will take you both to meet his Pa and get his mother’s engagement ring to ask you to marry him. He’s ready to enjoy the rest of his life with his family. All thanks to meeting you in that bar and the strip of photos still in his wallet from the photo booth.

[sold2vlaykz]

Slashers x reader

Prompt: Reader leaves and comes back.

Featuring: Bo Sinclair, Vincent Sinclair, Jacob goodnight, bubba sawyer, Michael Myers, Brahms heelshire

Warning: angst, fluff;

Bo Sinclair

You left him, you had an argument and you fucking left him.

He didn’t expect you to, you threatened to do it neatly every time you fought but didn’t. So why would you do it now.

He hates how much he misses you, god when he found out you left everyone got caught in the crossfire.

Yelling at his siblings for not watching you better, even physically fighting them. Punching holes in the wall, breaking things, beer.

To randomly sitting his bed late at night with you on his mind, calling himself weak because of he cried for you, calling himself stupid for even arguing with you.

Every picture of you had been cracked and hidden, until when he got alone all he could do is look at it and down another bottle.

Sometimes accidentally waking up with things to tell you, drunk and dizzy just wanting to rest his head in your lap.

When you came back god he tried to hide it, he missed you yet still yelling at you about you leaving.

“You fucking left me”

“I know, but I’m here now aren’t I?”

Only to wrap you up into his arms and saying sorry, of course you talked it out. Helped him patch the holes and damage in the house.

Communicating more every time he felt angry, just coming to you and hugging you. Chuckling in your neck while being cocky.

“Knew you couldn’t stay away from me.”

He was more protective now, you could never go out the house after an argument without him trailing behind you. Could never leave the house for a walk unless you told him you were and even then he didn’t want you to go.

He didn’t even go to bed on his own time now, every time you went to bed he went to bed, if he was sleepy and you weren’t he was either gonna make you go to bed or stay up until you dropped.

You couldn’t go anywhere, you wanted to go to the bathroom, he was going to the bathroom too. You wanted to shower? There’s room for two.

Need a breath of fresh air? That’s good he needs a smoke break.

If he had to do anything he’d make it quick and snappy just to return to you.

You were never ever going to be let out of his sight again.

-

Jacob goodnight

When he woke up and went to apologize you were gone.

He searched every corner for you.

He destroyed everything, yelling, crying, praying for you to come back to him.

Telling his mom about how much he loved you. Crying and laying in her arms because he couldn’t lay in yours anymore.

Pictures of you were always either in his hand or in his pocket he just couldn’t let go. He was more aggressive, especially towards females.

Sometimes during a chase he’d accidentally yell your name, or call them your name.

Killing them brutally, pretending his punishing you for leaving him.

Though when you came back it was the exact opposite.

He ran towards you, crying and wailing about how much he missed you, how sorry he was and that he’d never yell again.

Every time you argued now he just pouted or stormed out to control his anger, only to cool down and lie down with you.

Just like with Bo, you weren’t going anywhere. You had to use the bathroom? He will hold your hand while you pee.

Gotta shower? He’ll hold your hand outside of the curtain.

If he has to use the bathroom? Well you’re coming with there’s no saying no he’ll toss you over his shoulder while he pees.

He has to shower? Please sit on the toilet top and talk to him.

A big baby, if you don’t go to sleep when he goes to sleep he’ll beg you to and you won’t hear the end of it until you do.

You have to go anywhere.

“Where are you going?”

With the most serious and protective voice.

It’s unlikely you two ever leave the bed, he always wants to be stuck under your skin just being close to you.

Gathering your warmth.

Anytime you try to he’ll pull you right down or just go with you even if he’s sleepy.

-

Vincent Sinclair

He will never get over it, you two rarely argued. He didn’t expect you to leave when you did.

Absolutely distraught, he was throwing things, breaking his own art.

He kept getting angry at himself because he couldn’t take his mind off of you, kept painting you so he wouldn’t forget what you looked like.

Making small figurines just to hold your body again.

Rarely left his basement now, he couldn’t make anything else other than you. Stuck with an art block, was more aggressive towards his brothers.

Was snappy, agitated.

Oh and the victims got the worst of it, sometimes he didn’t even bother to keep them alive during the process anymore.

Was no longer taking any shit, Bo started something? Now he’s gotta finish it.

His hygiene became poor, rotting in bed or just sculpting you. Writing his silly little poems about you.

He thought he’d be stuck in a hole forever.

So when you came back he ran to you. Shocked to ever see your face again, though his words were slurred you could understand every word.

“I just needed some space Vince, that’s all.”

He understood despite being upset about it, kept a close eye on you and Bo did do despite how much his brother ridiculed him for being upset about a girl he didn’t want to see his brother that depressed again.

He was over you like a looming shadow, you were rarely allowed to leave the basement now.

Sleeping in the bed in the corner.

He timed your showers, checking in on you any time you were minutes past your usual time.

You had a routine now, you ate at the same time, slept at the same time, sometimes even used the bathroom at the same time.

It’s not that he forced you to, more like forced himself to, fixing his everyday life to your time.

Yeah you still argued but that was rarely, and even then soon after he was quick to communicate with you to the best of his ability.

His room was full of paintings and sculptures of you, he wasn’t ashamed he didn’t have to hide it. He wanted you to see how much you meant to him.

Anytime Bo tried to pull you into an argument Vincent was quick to defend and pull you out of it.

He was more defensive than anything.

You broke something? Thats okay everyone makes accidents.

Of course he’ll initially get mad but it won’t last long.

Every time you got into an argument the relationship got healthier.

-

Bubba sawyer

You left because of his family, he kept getting manipulated over and over again.

He didn’t want to kill and it was obvious but he was so full of fear of disappointing his family and not being able to eat.

When you left he cried to his momma’ could barely do any work without thinking about you.

I mean the poor guy threw a tantrum because of how much he missed you, almost attacking Hoyt anytime he belittled him for being upset about it.

Poor boys very first heartbreak.

Anytime he thought about it he went crying to his momma, all snot faced and swollen. Of course he broke things, everything in the basement had been destroyed.

He couldn’t focus on any task, nearly every job had been failed.

He let nearly every victim go, not on purpose but he couldn’t even grasp the thought of living without you.

And god it was even worse if they bared resemblance to you, he froze up. Stuck like stone, well at least that was until he realized it was you.

He dropped everything and ran in your arms, wailing and spinning you in circles.

Quick to show you off and that you’d returned.

“Sorry mama’ I just needed some time.”

Of course she understood, both of you reconciled in her.

He never let you go anywhere, he’ll sit on the toilet top and wait as you shower, sit on the floor as you use the bathroom.

Brush his teeth when you brush yours, the only time you separate is when he has to do something and even then he doesn’t really want to comply.

If anyone tries to start anything with you he’s there, he won’t say or do anything but he’ll sling you over his shoulder and carry you away.

Arguing?

He’s apologizing before it started. Poor boy whines every time you two argue always ending with his head in your lap.

Just know anytime you two almost argued he was quick to apologized and it was a rare occurrence ever since then.

-

Micheal Myers

Well this is a little different, when you left it didn’t last long. You hardly got two blocks away before he grabbed you and dragged you back home.

Locked you inside a room only letting you out when you’ve learned your lessons.

Long story short, even if you escaped him he’d be waiting for you.

Longing, more aggressive and irrational.

He no longer only killed in October, everyone was dying in the summer, winter, spring.

And when you came back, it eventually calmed down. Of course he was angry and aggressive towards you but he backhand slightly softer after realizing how emotional you were.

He was more close with you, sometimes randomly appearing by you with his back on yours.

His hand slowly touching yours as he stood near.

More protective, you couldn’t go out without reassuring him you’d be back. Any man that flirted with you was dead from now and on.

Even though it was like that before.

-

Brahms Heelshire

You had left because he snapped about the rules, he had killed your ex and the mailman.

He was so jealous he became out of control.

The house was trashed, everything was thrown around.

With his parents dead and only him and him alone he drove himself insane. In bed crying, wailing about how much he missed you.

He didn’t even know how technology worked to book another baby sitter, and even if he did it just wouldn’t be the same.

He swore he’d never forgive you, that if you were to come back he’d rip your throat out.

Despite thinking that he still had a body pillow of you, wrapped in your clothes with some of your hair a photo of you on its face.

The isolation being too much to bare, talking to it, holding it, walking around with it.

When you came back he was angry livid you left, but he couldn’t help but run up to you and ponder you with questions.

He was yelling but calmed down soon later, at least you were here.

“Brahms I just, I needed space.”

He didn’t understand, he didn’t care. He needed you, he wanted you.

“You left me!”

Now you were stuck in his little basement as he cuddled you, it felt nearly suffocating as every time you tried to move an inch his grip just got tighter.

He didn’t explain the body pillow but quickly kicked it off the bed to make room for you.

Sometimes he wouldn’t shower just to stay with you, you wanted to shower? He’s seen you naked before go right ahead.

Need to poo? He’s lived in walls his whole life there’s no smell he can’t handle.

You weren’t going anywhere, and no one was coming close to you.

[senditcolton]

Homecoming: Craving

i could eat that girl for lunch. she dances on my tongue, tastes like she might be the one.

summary: JT Compher is back in Denver. Unfortunately for you, your craving for him hasn't subsided. But fortunately, you are blessed with Mikko Rantanen - your boyfriend who seems to share your hunger towards his former teammate. word count: 8.7K warnings: smut! threesome (MFM, no explicit MxM but bisexual Mikko is heavily implied), oral (m & f receiving), ass-eating (f receiving), unprotected sex, vaginal sex, fingering (vaginal + anal - f receiving), anal sex (f receiving), cumplay, dirty talk, and just general depravity. author's note: here it is. finally. my sister fic to @comphy-and-cozy's fic Homecoming: Crush. (which if you haven't already read it, go do that.) so much credit goes to her, from this beautiful header to the entire concept of this fic. i was just lucky that she dropped it in my askbox one night and it infected my brain as well.

“Didn’t think you missed him that much.”

The deep voice startles you out of your reverie, your eyes darting from the ginger that had occupied your attention since he stepped foot in the bar to your boyfriend Mikko sitting next to you.

“What?” you say, partially because you brain didn’t quite register his words and partially because your mind was still playing the images of JT’s fingers wrapped around his beer bottle. How the trace of liquor on his lips catches the dim lighting of the bar and how they could feel pressed against your own lips or against your –

“I said,” Mikko smiles, once again breaking your trace as you try to shake those fantasies out of your head. “I didn’t think you missed JT that much.”

Your heart flips in your chest, your eyes locking with his. There is a hint of mischief sparkling in his blue irises, one that only increases as he takes in your hesitation. Granted, you weren’t sure what he was implying – if anything at all. But you had managed to keep the… infatuation? Desire? Craving… you had for his now former teammate a secret ever since those feelings first appeared. You weren’t about to admit them now. Your silence gives Mikko time to elaborate but as soon as he does, you realize that your appraisal of JT Compher had been anything but subtle.

“You’ve been staring at him since he arrived.”

The heat rises to your cheeks before you can stop it, the embarrassment flooding through you unbridled.

“Oh. Um, yeah, um. It’s just, uh,” you stutter out, the gaze of your boyfriend not accusatory but still too much for your mind to handle. It doesn’t help your case when, in your stumbling, your eyes dart back to the man in question. Perhaps thankfully, your jumbled explanation is cut off by Mikko’s warm laughter and the sound instantly soothes you.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says scooting closer, his arm wrapping around you, hand gripping your waist as he pulls you into his body, his other hand coming to rest on your thigh. You let some of the anxiety depart from your body, Mikko’s own heat helping you relax. You grab your drink, ready for the alcohol to put you even more at ease. It almost works until you feel the warmth of Mikko’s breath ghosting over the shell of your ear.

“JT missed you just as much.”

You weren’t sure if it was the words he said or how he said them – in that hushed sultry tone – that has you choking on your drink, the coughs coming in quick succession. Mikko doesn’t do anything to help you, probably enjoying your flailing. Eventually, your breathing rightens and you flip your head to stare at him with the most bewildered look painting your features.

“What?” you say, the only word that your brain could muster falling from your lips. It isn’t the clearest question but one Mikko intrinsically understands anyway.

“Neither of you were being very subtle,” he cooly explains. His blue eyes are still locked on your face, taking in the shift of your expression as the information sinks in. The fact that Mikko was able to read your desires so easily made you flounder but not as much as his words ‘neither of you’; a subtle implication that JT potentially wanted you the same way you wanted him.

Your eyes fall away from Mikko, trailing back towards JT. The redhead is still ignorant to your stare, still laughing with the other guys. You watch his movements: the way his plain white t-shirt stretches across his shoulders, the flex of his forearms, the spark in his dark eyes. Your observation is once again cut short by the shifting of Mikko behind you, pulling you closer to him as he deftly brushes your hair away from your shoulder, exposing your neck.

“Do you want to give him a homecoming you’ll both remember?”

You force yourself to take one of the deepest breaths you’ve ever taken, trying your damnedest to suppress the carnal hunger that had easily found a home in your lower abdomen. With quick look back at your boyfriend, you take in his expression: curious and ever patient. It would be romantic, the way he is looking at you, juxtaposed only by the fact that he had almost hauled you onto his lap, the heat radiating from him only increasing the fire already surging in you.

“Are you…” you start to say, a part of your mind still reeling from the fact that this wasn’t a dream brought forth from your subconscious because JT Compher was back in Denver. “You’d be okay with that?”

You finally manage to choke out the question, giving way to you need for your boyfriend’s former teammate.

“Did you forget about last summer already?” he says, one eyebrow quirking upwards, a teasing lilt to his reply. You feel another rush of desire as the images of skin still slick from the sauna and the phantom sensation of two pairs of hands on your body flash through your mind.

“I mean, with him?” you clarify. Summer was Mikko’s idea, one you gladly went along with but this… he never expressed any interest in JT. That craving was entirely yours.

“Kisu, you’ve indulged my desires. It’s only fair I return the favor.”

The smile that appears on your face this time is not shy or bashful. Instead, it is devilish, wicked. How you managed to find someone like Mikko – a man who never balked at your desires because he understood and sometimes shared them – was a miracle to you.

Your eyes once again slink back towards JT and this time, your gaze meets his. A sigh falls from your lips when you feel Mikko burying his face in the juncture of your neck and shoulders, his lips pressing against your skin. Your stare never leaves JT, your mouth falling open in a soft sigh as his brown eyes drink you in.

It takes a moment before an equally devilish smirk appears on his lips. He takes another swig of his beer as he watches your body react to Mikko’s kisses, that heady stare forcing flames to lick at your abdomen.

“Careful with those eyes, kisu,” Mikko whispers. “We are still in public.”

It’s a meant as a tease but you’d be damned if that knowledge doesn’t send another surge of heat through your body. You shift impossibly closer to your boyfriend, his hand moving to grip at your opposite thigh, finally pulling you into his lap. It takes all your strength to quiet the moan that wants to fall from your lips as your ass grazes against his groin, feeling how hard he is already, your eyes briefly fluttering close. Judging from the rumble that emanates from Mikko’s chest, you can tell that he feels the pulsing of your own core. You regain enough composure to shoot one last sultry look in JT’s direction before turning your attention to Mikko.

“You’re one to talk,” you quip, your hips rolling to subtly grind against him, a thrum of power humming through you as you watch his jaw clench and feel his grip tighten. Those shocking blue eyes re-open, a small grin appearing on his lips in response to your words and actions. You feel the hand that had been residing on the top of your thighs disappear, his fingers coming to trace your jawline, guiding your face so he can properly press his lips against yours.

You relax into the kiss, your body reacting the same way it always did when you kissed Mikko. It was so easy, so effortless, sinking into the gravity of him. Your own hand lifts to cup his face, your fingers deftly tracing the cut of his jawline, his stubble tickling your skin. Mikko’s arm wraps around your body, his hand now splayed across your stomach, his own fingertips coming to dip underneath the hem of your shirt, brushing against the smooth skin he finds there.

“Am I interrupting something?”

The deep voice that had haunted your darkest fantasies sounds from somewhere close by and you force yourself to pull away from Mikko. The heat that had been bubbling inside of you surges at the sight of JT standing in front of the corner booth table, his heavy stare dancing over your body perched on your boyfriend’s lap.

“You’re always welcome to join.”

If it was any other night, if it was any other person, if the previous ten minutes hadn’t already happened, your words would be a slip of the tongue; a poorly worded invitation for JT join the two of you in the cushioned booth. Any potential innuendo that could be attached would have been laughed off with a small chuckle and an embarrassed heat in your cheeks. But tonight… the only warmth that thrummed in your body was miles south of your face. You can see one of JT’s eyebrows jump up along with one of the corners of his mouth.

“Am I?” he asks, his eyes darting to Mikko.

“Like you don’t want to J,” Mikko chuckles, his chin coming to rest on your shoulder. “Acting like you didn’t tell me she’d never leave your bed if you had her.”

Every piece of information that casually falls from your boyfriend’s mouth has your mind spinning, your own head tilting in curiosity.

“When was this?”

“Last year,” JT replies, finally sitting down, his jeans scratching against the cracked leather as he scoots in, his body crowding your space. “When you showed up at the gala in that silk dress. How Mikko let you out of the house, I don’t even know.”

“Like to show my girl off,” comes your boyfriend’s reply and you just know his lips are twisted into that cocky grin. “Share her with the world. With my teammates.”

It’s a verbal sparring of subtle innuendos and insinuations. JT’s brown eyes, now appearing even darker than normal – a combination of the low light of the bar and the desire that was barely hidden – flit back to meet your gaze.

“What about former teammates?”

The question hangs in the air, directed to both you and Mikko even though JT’s eyes never leave yours. He must’ve been able to sense that this craving was entirely yours and Mikko was just along for the ride. That assumption is only encouraged by the feeling of Mikko nuzzling into your hair, his voice a quiet whisper heard only to you.

“Go on, kulta. Tell Comph how much you’ve wanted him.”

The shiver runs through you – one of not only desire at Mikko’s quiet demand, but one of appreciation for the man holding you. The only man that you ever thought about spending your life with, something he knew – probably one of the reasons he was comfortable sharing you with his friends.

“If it were up to us, you’d already be in our bed,” you reply. Your words make it clear that you were still Mikko’s girl; that your lust for JT didn’t outweigh your love for your boyfriend.

You can see JT’s eyes flick over to Mikko and you once again intrinsically know the expression on his face, the seductive eyes that he is directing towards the redhead. If there was any shock, JT masks it well, his gaze returning to you with a small grin.

“Isn’t it? Up to you, I mean.”

“Are you that ready to be our plaything, Compher?” Mikko quips, his own desires getting bolder the longer the conversation goes. JT chuckles with him, undeterred.

“If that’s what you want me to be.”

If you thought the fire within you was blazing before, now it was scorching. JT’s deference to the two of you, his intrinsic understanding that he was the outsider in this situation, his willingness to submit, his crystal-clear desire that he wanted you in whatever way he was allowed to have you… it made you weak.

“This is supposed to be your homecoming present J,” you murmur, finally offering up the proposal Mikko suggested moments ago directly to him. “You sure you don’t want to call the shots?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” JT replies and you must restrain yourself from crawling off your boyfriend’s lap and into his, kissing him in full view of the bar and the rest of the Avalanche players.

“In that case,” you start to say, elongating the syllables as you glance back to Mikko, his blue eyes sparkling with a mischief that is surely reflected in yours. That devious smirk reappears on your face as you return your gaze to JT. “Do you remember our address? Or do you need a reminder?”

“I think I got it but maybe a text just in case. Definitely wouldn’t want to get lost and miss out.”

“We wouldn’t want you that either.”

The remainder of your time at the bar is a somewhat successful attempt at acting like it was the end of any other night out. The calm removal of your body from Mikko’s lap and all three of your bodies from the booth, the quiet departure of you and Mikko, unnoticed by everyone with the exception of JT, who had returned to the small group of Avs players under the guise of wishing them goodnight so he could return to the hotel before Detroit’s lights-out curfew – a curfew that wasn’t enforced until much later.

The instant you and Mikko are secure in his car, you lean over the center console and bring his lips to meet yours in a passionate kiss. His fingers tangle in your hair as he kisses you back until you pull away.

“Thank you,” you whisper against his lips.

“Anything for you, rakkaani.”

You sink back into the passenger seat, Mikko’s hand finding its usual place on your thigh as he drives down the Denver streets. The ride home is filled with the ambient noises of the city as well as a quiet discussion of how the night would go; what you wanted out of it, what he wanted, what JT would be comfortable with. The conversation lulls, the barebone framework of a plan in both of your minds.

It is in that silence that Mikko’s hand slowly starts to caress your leg, tracing the seam on the inside of your thigh higher, chuckling at the way you shift in your seat, impatient. Finally, the two of you come to a stop in the driveway and it is a scramble out of the car and through the front door, leaving the deadbolt undone for JT later.

Mikko wastes no time pulling you up the stairs and into the bedroom, his large hands cupping your face to kiss you again. Your body goes lax in his hold, hands reaching over his broad shoulders, twisting into the soft cotton of his shirt. Mikko’s lips trail down across your jawline and onto the soft skin of your neck, busying himself by sucking a mark into your skin. You are content to lean your head back and let him claim you, your only sounds contented sighs. That is, until Mikko’s hands deftly undo your jeans and slip under the waistband of your underwear. A soft moan falls from you as his fingers trace your slit and you can feel his chuckle against your skin as he finds you wet and wanting.

“That desperate for someone else?” he quietly teases. “My little kisu.”

It is hard for you to give a solid response; partially because of how amazing Mikko’s movements felt against you and partially because well… he wasn’t wrong. The fact that in a few minutes, your fantasy of sharing a bed with JT Compher would be coming true just made that fire in you roar stronger.

“How’d I get so lucky to have such a dirty girl all to myself?”

It’s that subtle confirmation that he was enjoying this just as much as you that made you pull away from him, his hands retreating as yours tug the material of his shirt over his head. He helps expose his bare skin to you, the sight of his sculpted body never failing to make you weak. Mikko’s hands quickly return to you, mirroring your movements by pulling your top off your body, revealing the dark red lace stretched across your chest.

“Did you think this would happen when you picked out this set?” Mikko questions, his hands tracing your sides to help tug down your jeans, the matching underwear snug against your hips.

“Planned on having you tonight,” you say, stepping forward, your fingers deftly come to rest on the front of his pants. “J’s just a pleasant addition.”

A grin stretches across Mikko’s face before he pulls you back to his lips. Your hands now blindly undo the clasp of his jeans, your fingers twisting into both waistbands as you pull at the material, leaving him naked. It is instinctive, the way you reach for your boyfriend, Mikko moaning at the sensation of your hand wrapped around his cock, stroking him slowly.

“Kisu, need your mouth,” he groans and you smile, never tiring of the way you can make your 6-foot-4 boyfriend beg for you.

You gladly sink to your knees on the plush carpet, eyes bright as you look up at Mikko, hand still wrapped around the thickness of him. Your lips press against his thighs, working kisses up the skin. Your mouth briefly suckles his balls, feeling them tighten against your tongue before you slide your lips along the length of him. Mikko’s fingers comb through your hair, gathering the strands into a makeshift ponytail as finally wrap your lips around him.

“Perkele, always so good for me,” Mikko groans above you and you take more of him into the wet cavern of your mouth, tongue slowly tracing along every vein, moaning at the taste. You bob your head, relishing in the sound of Finnish curses falling from his lips.

“Fuck.”

A new voice sounds out and your eyes slide over to see JT standing in the doorway.

“Not sure what I was expecting but this wasn’t it,” he chuckles, the initial shock fading from his face as he steps deeper into the room. “Guess I took a little too long.”

“Nah, she’s just a desperate little slut,” Mikko replies, encouraging you to continue your movements against him. “Aren’t you, kisu?”

The question – along with the sight of JT now standing next to your boyfriend, his own dark eyes staring down at you – makes another rush of arousal flow between your thighs. Your only response is to stretch your mouth to accommodate more of Mikko, his head falling back as JT’s lips twitch in a smile.

“Look so good like this, baby,” JT whispers, crouching next to you, his hand tucking a few loose strands of hair behind your ear, thumb brushing the mascara-stained tears off your cheek. “D’you like having your face stuffed with cock?”

“Why don’t you find out, Comph?”

JT moves out of your line of sight but you can still feel the heat from his body circling you. His hands find your hips and you can’t stop the way they roll as your back connects with JT’s chest. You moan when you feel his own erection against your ass, his hands trailing down in between your thighs. A soft moan falls from JT as he feels the ruined material of your panties, your arousal continuing to flood the fabric as he presses his fingers against you, your movements against Mikko faltering.

“So wet, sweetheart,” he whispers, the hand between your thighs disappearing, coming to trace up your body, cupping your breast, fingers teasing your nipples through the lace.

“Told you. My girl gets so turned on from sucking dick,” Mikko murmurs, his blue eyes looking down at you with filthy admiration.

You whine, their words making you even more desperate, one of JT’s hands coming to rest on your neck. Your movements against Mikko finally stall as JT’s lips connect to the column of your throat, sucking an identical mark next to the one your boyfriend had previously left. There is a gentle tug on your hair, calling your attention back to the man standing above you.

“Need me to take over?”

You hum an affirmative, your jaw going slack as you hold yourself still – a little difficult considering the heat of JT behind you, his lips now peppering kisses against your shoulders. With a quick blink up at Mikko, you let him slide deeper into your mouth.

“Fuck, Rants,” JT groans against your skin. “Can feel you in her throat.” His words are accompanied by a soft press against your neck, increasing the tightness around Mikko, making a loud moan fall from your boyfriend.

“Niin vitun hyvä,” Mikko mutters.

Your eyes stay connected with his blue ones, his hips lightly thrusting. You feel JT’s chin come to rest on your shoulder, his own gaze lifting to meet Mikko’s as his hand once again pushes on your throat. Mikko’s cock hardens in your mouth at both the sensation and the sight of two pairs of doe eyes looking up at him.

Another almost growled curse falls from your boyfriend’s lips before he pulls back, the sudden absence of him making the saliva and precum flow. You lick the remnants off your own swollen lips with a sigh as your body leans back against JT.

“She’s all yours, Comph.”

“Finally,” JT murmurs, his fingers reaching to turn your head to him, capturing your lips in a desperate kiss.

The mutual moans fall from both of you in response to finally tasting the other. Your hand finds the nape of JT’s neck, pressing him closer as you deepen the kiss, tongue gliding against his. JT’s other hand pulls your hips back, moaning into your open mouth as you grind on his still confined length.

“Such a needy girl, aren’t you?” JT asks, breaking the kiss to thrust against you again, pulling another whine from your lips. “How long have you been wanting this, sweetheart?”

“I don’t know. A while?”

You couldn’t quite remember when you started to view JT as something more than your boyfriend’s teammate, when your platonic glances took on a more carnal energy.

“Still can’t believe this is happening,” you continue, voicing your disbelief. “It’s surprising.”

“Surprising that I wanted this too or surprising that it took this long to admit it?”

“A little bit of both,” you reply, your gaze dropping to his lips before looking back into his eyes. “Imagine the fun we could’ve had if we had a whole season together instead of two days.”

There is no subtlety in the way JT’s irises darken in response to your words and you swear you can see every filthy image that passes through his mind at the prospect of sharing you for more than a single night.

“It’s a shame.”

“It is a shame,” he agrees. “Guess that means I’ll have to make the most of my homecoming present.”

“I guess you will,” you whisper, lifting your head to kiss him again.

The two of you stay there for a brief moment; kneeling on the carpet, pressed against each other, bodies writhing, soft moans and whines filling the bedroom. JT eventually breaks the kiss, forehead pressing against yours as those deep brown eyes capture you in his stare.

“Can I feel that talented mouth of yours?”

Your own eyes sparkle, a smirk appears on your lips with ease. There was nothing you wanted more than to feel the weight of him on your tongue – something you were sure he knew. Yet here he was, asking anyway. What a gentleman.

“Take off those clothes and get on the bed, then you will.”

JT kisses you once more time before pulling away, following your directions. The absence of his warmth makes you pout but that disappointment is quickly extinguished when you spin on your knees to watch him strip. Your eyes stay pinned to his body, relishing in the sight of his exposed skin – a sight that you only ever imagined.

You were lucky to say that your imagination didn’t come close to reality.

His ivory pale skin a delicious contrast to the fire red of his hair and beard. The way his muscles moved beneath his skin, a testament to his profession. The light smattering of hair across his chest and down his stomach, your gaze following its trail. The moan that falls from you is desperate when he takes off his pants and boxers, his hard length slapping up against his abdomen.

“Like what you see, kisu?” you hear your boyfriend ask from somewhere behind you. You glance back to find him sitting in the armchair in the bedroom corner, a hand around his cock.

“He’s so pretty, Mikko,” you reply, the words twinged with desire. Mikko just chuckles, his eyes lifting from your frame to JT’s, his own gaze raking across his former teammate’s naked form.

“He is, isn’t he?”

Your eager eyes reconnect to JT and you can see the shiver that runs through him, pinned under both of your hungry gazes.

“Fuck, you two are going to be the death of me.”

“Get on the bed, baby,” you whisper. “Let me take care of you.”

No more encouragement is need as JT quickly climbs onto the still-made bed, resting against the pillows before his eyes return to you. You unfold yourself from your kneeling position, now standing in front of him at the foot of the bed. The power you feel, the desire that thrums through you at the sight of JT patiently waiting for you makes you wicked. You decide to tease him more, your hands reaching behind your back and undoing the clasp of your bra. The material falls from your chest and you feel irresistible when you hear two different moans fill the room – one from someone who has seen you naked a hundred times and the other from someone who was seeing you for the first time.

You step forward, crawling on top of the mattress, your knees sinking in the plush sheets. Your siren eyes look up to JT as you move closer between his spread legs.

The sight of him makes your desire swell, a carnal need to taste his skin appearing. You lean down, following a similar path up his thighs as you did Mikko’s a few moments ago. Your lips move to his hipbones, kissing the taut skin there before following the cut of his body, JT’s stomach contracting every so often in response to your soft touch. You soon reach the base of him, your tongue darting out to lick his silken skin. A moan sounds from above you, encouraging you to drag up his length to the tip of him.

You see JT’s hands bury themselves into the sheets, his chest already heaving as he looks down at you. You take pity, closing your mouth around him, moaning at the taste of him against your tongue. It’s intoxicating and you don’t stop yourself from sinking further down, JT’s moans and soft grunts encouraging you to take him deeper.

“Fuck. God, you’re so good – she’s so good, Rants,” JT whines as you work your tongue against him, swallowing him inch by inch. You hear your boyfriend’s soft chuckle from somewhere behind you and it’s only a moment until you feel his hands on your hips, toying with the waistband of your underwear.

“Yes, she is,” Mikko practically growls, fingers twisting around the lace and dragging the material down your thighs. You moan against JT when the cool air of the bedroom hits your molten core, the whines only increasing when you feel Mikko’s lips trace over the curve of your ass to the place where the muscle meets your thigh.

Your focus on JT wavers when Mikko’s large hands pull at the globes of your ass, spreading you open and you hear him moan at the sight of your soaked pussy. Mikko doesn’t hesitate, diving into your core, his lips working against you. You have to take a few deep – albeit ragged – breaths before turning your attention back to JT, wanting to make him feel good.

It was his homecoming after all.

Mikko doesn’t make it easy, his tongue alternating between plunging into your heat and flicking your clit, muffled whines escaping you. His hand once again gropes your ass, opening you more and you can feel the electric shiver run down your spine as his tongue trails up, past your core, against the small strip of sensitive skin before circling your puckered hole.

You remove your lips from JT’s cock to let out a loud unbridled moan. You look back, eyes connecting with Mikko’s baby blues, your hips rocking as he eats your ass, one hand lifting to press against your core, not neglected for a moment.

“Sweetheart,” JT calls out, your gaze returning to him. “Don’t stop, please.”

You nod softly, little whimpers and whines still falling from you as Mikko continues his ministrations. The sensation steals all your attention and that realization causes you to reach out for one of JT’s hands, practically prying it from the sheets and guiding it to your head. You preen when JT’s fingers burrow into your hair, gently taking hold and pulling your mouth back onto his hard cock. You hum appreciatively as JT’s hips gently pulse, thrusting into your mouth.

A soft sigh escapes as you let yourself relish in the sensations at each end of your body. You trace every inch of JT in your mouth while your hips move against Mikko’s tongue still buried in your ass, his fingers caressing your soaked core. Above you, JT’s moans increase and underneath you, you can feel his rhythm falter. His stuttered sounds call Mikko’s attention, his lips disappearing from you.

“Gonna cum in that sweet mouth, Comph?” he asks, his voice heavy. JT’s only response is a strangled moan, his hand twisting deeper into your hair. “Go on. She wants it. Don’t you, kisu?”

Mikko’s question is punctuated with the press of his fingers plunging into your core. You moan, your eyes darting up to meet JT’s, hoping that your silent plea is understood. JT reads you with ease, even after only a few minutes of having you in bed. His movements increase, fucking your face as his head falls against the pillows. It is only a moment before he stills, holding you in place as his release hits the back of your throat. You gag lightly, his dick twitching in your mouth as his grip goes lax. You slide your lips against him, cleaning any remnants from his skin before remove yourself from him, eyes flicking up to see his brown irises trained on you.

A soft smile appears on your face before your mouth falls open in a gasp, Mikko’s fingers still buried inside you, thumb coming to press against your clit.

“You get so wet from being a good little slut,” he mutters, his hand working against you, forcing more of those delectable sounds from you. Your head falls to rest on the top of JT’s thigh, your body rolling.

“Please, Mikko, want your mouth back on me,” you whine, one of your hands reaching back to spread yourself open, an emphasis to your plea. Mikko’s response is a dark chuckle, fingers curling inside your core, causing your walls to flutter.

“Keep your eyes on Comph, sweet girl. Show him how pretty you look when you cum.”

That demand is all Mikko says before his mouth returns to your ass. It takes all your will-power to keep your eyes open and locked on JT as the dual sensations of Miko’s tongue and fingers pull you closer to the edge. JT just watches you; the way your body writhes, the way your mouth falls open, your tongue occasionally flicking over your lips as you whine.

“Feel good, sweetheart?”

You respond with a small nod, another whine falling from you. JT brushes the side of your face, his hand trailing down from your temple, across your jaw until his thumb presses against your plush bottom lip. You easily take the digit into your mouth, noticing the way JT’s eyes darken, his dick twitching with renewed interest.

“Gonna cum for me? Come on, sweetheart. Want to see it.”

JT’s quiet demand is all it takes for you to fall over that peak, your eyes finally closing as the warmth explodes from your core, the energy of your orgasm thrumming through your entire body. You can faintly hear Mikko moan, his tongue trailing down to your core to drink the sweet nectar of you.

“Such a good girl,” Mikko mutters, pressing a kiss against the base of your spine as JT removes his finger from between your lips.

Your body warms with his praise, your eyes fluttering open. The first sight you see is JT above you, his stomach clenching as he holds himself upright. Your eyes quickly dart to his length, semi-hard. Without hesitation you to reach up and grip him, your hand sliding with ease over the saliva-soaked skin. JT moans, his cock hardening again in response to your movements.

“Want his dick that bad, huh?” Mikko questions, his hand caressing the outside of your thigh and your gaze darts back to meet his blue eyes.

“Can I have it?”

“Like you have to ask,” he chuckles in response. His fingers trail down, hooking the underwear still resting in the crook of your knees. He carefully slips them off your body as he departs from the bed. “Why don’t you show J how pretty you look riding cock? What d’you say, Comph? You’d like that?”

“Fuck yes,” comes his desperate reply, your hand still working against him, a laugh falling from you and Mikko.

“Go on then, mirri. Take what you want.”

You don’t need any more coaxing, hand falling from JT as you crawl higher up on the mattress, one leg swinging over his body to straddle him. You lean down to kiss him, your hair creating a curtain your faces. JT happily accepts the kiss, moaning at the lingering taste of him in your mouth. Your hips roll, the sensation of your soaked folds gliding against him causing another moan to emanate from his chest. You movements continue until his dick is once again rigid underneath you. You tear away from the kiss, lifting your torso up, hands finding the sturdy planes of his chest.

JT simply looks up at you, pupils blown wide at the sight of you hovering above him. One of your hands traces down his body until you reach his cock. You gently grasp him, stroking him a few more times, spreading your arousal against his skin. JT’s hands find your hips, lifting and holding you steady as you align his length with your center.

The mutual moans that fall as you lower yourself onto him sound like something straight out of a porno. Your eyes roll back, chest heaving as JT sinks deeper into you, burying himself to the hilt.

“Shit, sweetheart. So fucking tight. So wet,” JT mutters from below you, his grip tightening so much that you’re concerned there might be bruises the next day. “God, Mik. Don’t know how you manage to leave this sweet pussy.”

“Knowing I get to come home to it every night helps,” Mikko replies, his quiet claim of you making your walls flutter around JT.

The two of you still, deeply breathing, memorizing every sensation, knowing that this might never happen again. The realization of limited time must hit JT because his hands start to pull at your hips, guiding you to grind against his cock. You follow his movements, gliding along his length, soft gasps falling from your lips at ever stroke of JT within you.

“You’re right, Mikko. She looks so fucking good riding me,” JT mutters, addressing your boyfriend who lingers at the edge of the bed.

“One of my favorite positions to have her in.”

The praise falling from both of their mouths encourages you more, your body moving in a more feverish pace. You lean your body back, hands switching from JT’s chest to his thighs, using that leverage to lift your hips. The new angle gives JT a clear line of sight and you hear his moan as he watches his length disappear into your center.

“Just like that, sweetheart. Fucking perfect cunt taking all of me,” he groans, his hands lifting from your hips to your chest, fingers teasing your nipples causing more moans to escape you.

You are so caught up in JT – the feeling of him inside you, the lingering taste of him on your tongue, the heat radiating from his body – that you almost lose track of what your boyfriend is doing. That is, until you feel the mattress shift under the weight of another body. You hear the bedsprings creak as Mikko appears behind you, your head coming to rest on his shoulder.

“Look at you, kisu. Being such a good girl for Comph.”

Your only reply is to press your lips against his, having been deprived of his kisses for far too long. Mikko kisses you back just as fiercely, his hand coming to rest on the hollows of your collarbone. You can faintly hear JT curse underneath you as he pauses your movements, holding your hips still.

Mikko breaks away from you and you whine at the loss of both sensations. Mikko only smiles, his hand moving to your shoulder before he gently presses your body forward. You let him guide you folding yourself over JT’s body until your chests are pressed together. The proximity means that you trade Mikko’s lips for JT’s, an exchange that both you and he gladly accept.

You let yourself be engulfed in JT’S cinnamon whiskey taste and his scorching warmth. Faintly, you hear the click of a cap behind you and feel one of Mikko’s hands trace the curve of your spine. Another shift of the mattress, and you unabashedly moan into JT’s mouth when you feel the coolness of Mikko’s now lubricated fingers dipping between your ass cheeks.

“You want it, kisu?”

“Yes,” you whine, the single syllable word elongated in need. “Please, Mikko. Please.”

“Hold her still, Comph.”

JT follows your boyfriend’s orders, keeping his hold around your hips tight as Mikko’s fingers circle the ring of your ass, the skin now slick with saliva, your own arousal, and lube. When he deems you ready, the tip of his index finger presses into you. You moan, breaths becoming more rapid which JT notices. His lips connect to your neck to relax you, no doubt being able to feel your pulse jumping underneath your skin.

“Good, kulta?”

You can only nod frantically, the sensation driving you insane. Mikko chuckles, returning to slowly work you open, gently thrusting his hand until another finger slips in. The curse and whimpers fall from your lips freely at the dual sensation of Mikko in your ass and JT still seated deeply in your pussy. It is so much… and yet at the same time, not enough.

Your hands card through JT’s hair, pulling him away from the column of your throat, his dark eyes reconnecting with your lust-blown pupils.

“Move, J. Please.”

You see the barest nod of JT’s head before he is readjusting his hold on you, softly and slowly thrusting his hips up to meet yours. There is no stopping the downright pornographic moans that fall from you at the sensation of being stuffed to the brim by two absolutely beautiful humans. It makes your eyes roll back, your body tremble, your pussy flood. And when Mikko manages to slip a third finger past the rim of you, you shriek, your orgasm hitting you with the force of an oncoming train. Your whole body stills, eyes squeezed tight, mouth open wide as you let the waves of pleasure rush through you, groans emanating from both men at the feeling of both holes clenching.

“God damn,” JT curses. “Didn’t think this cunt could get any tighter. Fuck, sweetheart.”

“Y’gonna flood that cunt, J?”

Your boyfriend’s voice brings you back, his question making a new wave of heat flow through your already molten veins. You blindly start to press kisses against the column of JT’s throat, working your way up until your lips hover at the shell of his ear.

“Please. Wanna feel you. Wanna filled with you.”

Your desperate pleas make JT’s hips thrust a little faster, the sensitivity from your previous orgasm making your body go lax. Mikko’s hand disappears from your ass, his other hand coming to gently wrap around your throat, pulling your body upright. You gladly let yourself be manipulated, gladly drink in the sight of JT below you: his brow furrowed, his pink lips swollen from your kisses, his pale skin marked with the love bites that you had left.

You hear JT’s breath hitch in his throat, his head being tossed back against the pillows and you whine at the feeling of his warmth spilling into you. Mikko swallows your noises by kissing you, his hand staying against your throat. A possessive necklace, a reminder that just because he let JT have you, you were still his. A fact that you would never deny.

The two of you eventually break away from the each other, eyes darting down to the redhead still left panting on the mattress.

“Holy fuck, sweetheart,” he gasps and you let a soft giggle escape you at his exclamation.

Mikko’s hands depart from your body, his weight departing from the mattress at the same time. The lack of support causes your fall, coming to rest on the sheets beside JT, his brown eyes gazing at you, hand gently stroking the outside of your thigh.

“You are so… amazing. You know that?”

“Wouldn’t mind hearing it again,” you tease, JT’s own grin appearing in response to yours. He leans in to kiss you, his movements now softer and gentler than all the previous and you can’t help the way you melt into him. A different pair of calloused fingertips appear on your skin and you pull away from JT to see your boyfriend standing over you. His hand dips between your thighs, a simultaneous moan coming from you at the feeling of your soaked core, JT’s cum falling from your folds.

“Want more, kisu?”

“Always.” 

“So needy. Ready to spread those legs open for anyone.”

“As long as I get to have you too,” you whine, Mikko’s fingers still softly tracing your pussy. Mikko leans down, his large body hovering over you as he captures your lips in a passionate kiss.

“You’ll always have me, rakkaani.”

The quiet testament warms you from the inside out and you feel his arms slide against your skin, one slipping under your thighs, the other under your waist. You gasp as he uses his impressive strength to lift you off the mattress, your own arms wrapping around his shoulders, fingers teasing his golden curls. Mikko walks across the plush carpet before sinking back into the armchair, gently manipulating your body so your back is once again pressed against his chest.

You moan as his strong hands toss your thighs over each of his own legs, spreading you open, putting you on display. Your ass presses against the hardness of him and you shiver in anticipation when you realize what’s coming. Mikko’s hand – the one that had not been previously buried in your ass – traces down your body, coming to dance over your cunt, groaning at the ease in which his skin slips against yours.

“How does she look, Comph?”

The name draws your attention back to the bed, JT now sitting upright, eyes drinking in the sight of you.

“So pretty. Love seeing that cunt drip.”

His vulgar words cause your pussy to clench, no doubt making more of your arousal and JT’s previous release seep from you. Mikko moans at the sensation of it on his fingers, gently guiding the moisture downwards.

“Ready to show J how good you can be?” Mikko mutters, his words just loud enough for JT to hear.

You watch as his eyes follow the path of your boyfriend’s fingers, his eyebrows jumping when the implication hits him. You nod your head, your own hand reaching between your thighs as Mikko lifts you up. It’s easy to find and wrap your hand around Mikko’s already slick length, holding it steady as he spreads you open, lining up before gently pressing into you. Your whole body shudders at the sensation of him sinking into you, his gentle voice reminding you to breathe. You follow his commands, forcing yourself to relax as you stretch to accommodate his considerable length, your eyes rolling back. Eventually, Mikko stills, fully sheathed inside of you, hips flush against your ass as your core clenches around nothing.

“Fuck, I can see why you wanted to keep her to yourself,” JT curses.

“Gonna be thinking about this tomorrow night during the game?” Mikko teases, the traded quips allowing you time to get used to the feeling of him seated deep within you.

“Don’t know how I’ll be able to think about anything else.”

You feel Mikko bury his face in your hair, hot breath hitting your skin, his next words for only you to hear.

“That’s the whole idea.”

A quick huff of laugher escapes you, your boyfriend’s competitive nature coming forward. You both loved JT but he was indeed the enemy now.

You turn your head to mouth at Mikko’s neck, muttering a quiet plea into his skin – one that Mikko hears and responds to immediately. His hands grip the back of your thighs, slightly lifting your hips as his own start to gently pulse. Your moans echo around the bedroom, every press of Mikko within you causing your core to clench, more arousal spilling from you, additional lubricant for the obscene show. Your gaze catches JT’s stare fixed on where you and Mikko are connected, watching intently like this was something out of porno – one meant just for him. Which, in a way, it was.

You whine, hand reaching out to JT. This was his homecoming after all and although you were sure he loved the view, you didn’t want him to feel left out. JT slides off the bed and walks over, his lithe frame standing in front of you.

“Such a pretty little thing,” the redhead murmurs, his hands dancing across your chest. Mikko’s teeth gently graze the juncture of your neck and shoulder, sending a shiver down your spine.

“He’s right, kisu. You’re always so good for me, so perfect.”

Their praise makes you moan. JT’s fingertips tracing down your body and eventually connecting to your soaked core makes you gasp.

His calloused skin collects your slick before slowly pushing into your core, moaning at the tightness of you around his fingers. Your hand shoots out, holding his wrist in an almost vice-like grip. You aren’t quite sure whether you mean to push him away, on the verge of overstimulation, or encourage him to keep going. But when you open your eyes and see those deep chocolate brown pools staring at you, you tug his wrist forward. A silent encouragement.

JT leans down, pressing his lips against yours as his fingers gently curl within you, your moans falling into his open mouth as he swallows every sound. Mikko’s breath is still hot against your skin, Finnish praise and guttural groans falling from his lips as he continues to thrust into you, his rhythm increasing. Your free hand comes to tangle in his blonde curls, holding him against your neck while your other hand releases JT’s wrist, reaching further. You finally manage to grab a hold of his cock, a hiss falling from JT as you softly stroke the skin.

“Fuck, baby,” he whines against your lips, seemingly on the verge of overstimulation himself.

“Please J, just one more. Let me take care of you, please.”

You aren’t sure if it’s your gentle words or your movements against his erection that causes JT to nod, letting you toy with him as he continues the movement of his fingers inside you. You recapture his lips in yours, your attention torn between your boyfriend’s hands on your skin, his cock stuffed in your ass, and JT’s hand pressed against your core. The ginger doesn’t seem to mind your sloppy handjob, moaning into your mouth anyway as you kiss him.

It isn’t long until Mikko’s grip adjusts, one arm wrapping around your waist to hold you impossibly closer to him as his hips find an almost brutish pace, gasps and whimpers falling freely from your lips. JT gently removes his hand from your core before gently knocking your hand away from him. He takes a single step back, eyes returning to drink in the sight of both you and Mikko as your head lolls, your third orgasm of the night fast approaching. It only takes a few more pulses of Mikko’s hips before he falters, his teeth digging into the flesh of your shoulder as his orgasm hits him. The sharp sensation of his teeth coupled with the warmth of his release spilling into your ass causes you to cum. Every muscle in your body clenches, from your jaw down to between your thighs as the waves of pleasure roll over you.

Eventually, the intensity subsides, your thighs pleasantly shaking as your staccato breathing slows. Your eyes open to see JT still standing in front of you, his own hand now pumping his length. You smile up at him, sighing when you feel Mikko’s tongue laving over the indents that his teeth left in your skin, his thumbs rubbing soft circles on your hipbones.

“JT, please,” you whisper, your voice slightly hoarse from your previous moans. “Want you to come. Wanna feel you on my skin.”

That seems to be all the encouragement JT needs, his hand now moving faster, small hisses and groans falling from his lips. He leans over you and Mikko, his free hand gripping the back of the chair to hold himself steady, eyes closing in overstimulated pleasure. You reach your hand upwards, cupping his jaw, your gentle touch drawing his gaze to you. You let your fingers brush through his beard, a small part of you wondering how pretty it would look drenched in your release. Your thumb moves to his mouth, pink and swollen from your previous kisses. A soft press against his plush bottom lip makes JT’s mouth fall open. You smile, softly guiding your thumb in, pressing against the firm muscle of his tongue.

“Perkele,” you hear Mikko curse from behind you and watch those brown eyes dart over towards your boyfriend, no doubt staring at JT like he was a meal. There’s no telling if your finger in his mouth or Mikko’s gaze is the final nail in the coffin but you find that you don’t care when JT’s eyes clench shut, gasps falling from him as you feel the warmth of him splattering against your stomach.

JT comes down, his chest heaving as he finds the strength to lift himself upright, your hand falling from his mouth as his eyes take in the sight of his cum on your skin. You smile, fingers still wet from his spit as you trace up your stomach, collecting the creamy release before lifting your hand to dip into your own mouth. A moan falls from you at the now familiar taste of JT against your tongue as you lick them clean.

“Does he taste good, kisu?” Mikko asks and you turn your head to stare into his blue eyes.

“Mmhmm. You wanna taste?”

Your boyfriend nods his head and your fingers dip down to once again collect JT’s cum. This time however, you hold out your lifted hand towards Mikko, who gladly takes you into his mouth. A moan falls from him as he suckles your fingers, his own tongue dancing over every inch of skin.

“You two are going to be the death me.”

You giggle at JT’s words, a repetition of the statement he spoke earlier, your gaze and hand falling from Mikko. Your eyes leap up to meet JT’s, his own head slightly shaking in disbelief, a crooked smile playing on his lips.

“Welcome back to Denver.”

“Best fucking homecoming I could’ve asked for.”

Translations (from Reddit & Google) Kisu/mirri: kitten [used for very sexy women] Kulta: baby/honey Rakkaani: my darling Perkele: shit/fuck Niin vitun hyvä: so fucking good

a/n 2.0: I do have a kind of funny/cute epilogue that I didn't include but I can post it if any of y'all are interested.

taglist: @laurenairay @fallinallincurls @svexhenthusiast also tagging @smileysvech because - as she said when this was first mentioned - this is very niche and has such a specific target audience (her)

sign up for my taglist here!

[rhyrhy]

Slut me out - series ˚ · .˚ ༘🦋⋆｡˚

Football! Fuckboy! Abby Anderson x female reader!

Cw: toxic relationships, language, college/ modern setting Abby!, no talks on body or race specifics! Player! Abby.

MDNI - mlist for previous chapters

Chapter six: overtime

(Flashback) November 15th, two months ago

“gross, grab a napkin” Abby teased, watching you accidentally make mess with your ice cream. A goofy grin spread on her face.

Yes, that date you went on? was totally one of those cheesy, ice cream dates, with wandering around the city hand in hand. The kind of date that would make you cringe if it weren’t happening to you. You both giggled like a couple of schoolgirls. seeing that side of her had your stomach flipping with butterflies. It was a complete contrast to the heavy flirting you guys had been doing. It felt so real. So, for a moment you really thought,

this is someone I could really fall for.

Present, January 22nd, 11:40 pm

You’d been in bed, mindlessly through Instagram, your chest tightening as you skips past photos of the party from the night before.

It was a shit show, you two couldn’t seem to keep your hands off each other.

‘Just this once..please’ Abby plea from the bathroom filled your thoughts. Damn it, why do you keep doing this to yourself. What is her goal, to confuse you? Keep you as a booty call? ugh!

Your finger hesitates over one post—a shot of Abby with her teammates, beer in hand, smiling like nothing is wrong. Smiling like she hadn’t been tongue deep between your legs, a few minutes before the picture. Her carefree grin that used to draw you in, now only makes you feel bitter.

Setting the phone down, you let out a frustrated sigh and leans back on your fluffy pillows. Your eyes wander to a small photo stuck to the corkboard above the desk. a candid from November. Abby’s arm hanging down, fingers laced with yours. The memory floods back, uninvited but vivid.

Why did you have to ruin this, Abby? You mutter to no one. You closes your eyes,

You close your eyes, and the past begins to take over.

——-

(Flashback) November 15th, two months ago

“You’re telling me that’s your go-to flavor? Strawberry? That’s so basic, abs.”

“Basic? You’re literally eating (your fav flavor) . That’s the flavor of someone who couldn’t make a decision.”

“Excuse me? This is a classic. Yours is…pink. What does that even say about you?” You roll your eyes

.”It says I have taste And, clearly, better judgment than you.” Abby grins and shrugs nonchalantly.

—-

“Ah, it’s dripping! Quick, grab a napkin or something!”

“Gross, grab your own napkin. You’re the messy one here.”

You fumble attempting to clean the ice cream with the tiny napkin you’d got from the shop. Abby laughs again, shaking her head before offering her own napkin

“Wow, what a hero. You’re really saving the day here.” You chuckle

“You’re welcome. I’ll add it to my list of good deeds.” Abby smiled wide

You both laugh again, but there’s something softer in the air now. You glances down at the hands laced together, still loosely connected from when Abby pulled you over.

“You’re kind of full of surprises, you know that?”

“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it. I have a reputation to maintain.” Abby joked

——-

Present, January 22nd, 11:40 pm

and now all you could do is wish you would’ve taken her warning.

You bit your lip, that bittersweet ache spreading in your chest. It was almost cruel how happy you both looked in the photo, as if nothing had ever gone wrong. As if Abby hadn’t spent the weeks after that night pretending you didn’t exist. As if her apology at the party wasn’t just a fleeting moment of guilt before she reverted to the same hot-and-cold game you’d been trapped in since.

You locked your phone and threw it onto the bed with a sigh. Leaning back against the headboard, you stared up at the ceiling, replaying the memory of that night like a movie you couldn’t turn off.

It wasn’t just the ice cream or the silly teasing. It was the way she looked at you, the way she laughed at your bad jokes like they were the funniest thing in the world. The way she had leaned in closer every time she spoke, like she couldn’t get enough of you.

For a moment, you had let yourself believe it. Believe her. You broke those rules.

That night felt like the first real glimpse of something more—a side of Abby that wasn’t all bravado and charm, but warmth and vulnerability. It was enough to make you think that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t just another girl she’d forget about the moment she got bored.

But then you woke up the next morning to a cold, empty silence. No texts. No calls. Just radio silence.

You shook your head, trying to push the memory away, but it clung to you like a shadow. A knock at your door snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Hey, you alive in there?” Layla’s voice called from the hallway.

“Yeah, come in,” you said, your voice hoarse.

Layla stepped in, a concerned look on her face. She glanced at your phone on the bed and then back at you. “Still thinking about it?”

You shrugged, avoiding her gaze. “Not really. Just…you know, it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” Layla said firmly, sitting on the edge of your bed. “Look, I know she messed with your head, but that doesn’t mean what you felt wasn’t real. And it doesn’t mean you have to beat yourself up for it.”

“I just don’t get it,” you admitted. “That night felt…different. Like, for a second, I thought maybe she actually cared. But now? I don’t even know what’s real anymore.”

Layla sighed, nudging you with her shoulder. “Maybe it was real. But that doesn’t mean she’s capable of giving you what you need.”

You nodded slowly, her words settling like a weight in your chest. Layla gave you a small, reassuring smile. “C’mon, let’s do something to get your mind off it. Movie night? Or we could cyberstalk her and leave anonymous hate comments on her posts?”

You laughed and shook your head.

“Suit yourself,” Layla said, standing up. “But seriously, don’t let her mess with your head any more than she already has. You deserve better than that.”

As she left the room, you picked up your phone again, staring at the frozen image of you and Abby on the screen.

…Maybe Layla was right. Maybe it was time to stop letting Abby take up so much space in your head.

And like the devil herself heard you…

You stared at the screen, torn. Layla’s words from earlier echoed in your mind—You deserve better than that. And you knew she was right. You did deserve better.

But another part of you—the part that still remembered her goofy grin as she teased you about the ice cream, or the way her hand felt in yours that night—couldn’t let go of the idea that maybe, just maybe, this time she meant it…? No, no.

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard for a long moment before you typed (see second photo)

You needed to choose yourself this time.

—

Taglist cuties: @deadbolted @grey-jedi12 @ceylnisgone @evabby @abby-anderson-wifey @icedsimpsayo @elle-girlylesbian

——

Last episode next! don’t jump me for the ending chat 💞😭

[fenya-scribbles]

Blind - Part 1

♥--------♥--------♥

Part 2

Pairing: Felix x fem!Reader

Other Characters: Jisung, Minho

Summary: You're not having a great night, but revelations are made and actions have consequences.

Genre: fluff?, friends to lovers

Content warnings: alcohol consumption, jealousy

Word Count: 1,273

A/N: This one got away from me, but I kinda still like it. Also Minsung is a thing here, because have you seen the on stage back hugs? I have. I'm still not okay.

♥--------♥--------♥

You hated parties. Especially when you only knew the person who dragged you there in the first place. And this party in particular turned into more and more of a nightmare by the minute. You were sitting on an uncomfortable plastic chair in the garden of whichever of Felix’s friends hosted the party, and watched Felix talk to an unnervingly pretty girl who made the most obvious heart eyes at him. And you hated everything about this.  

Having a social butterfly as a best friend had always been difficult for your introverted self, but you just couldn’t imagine a life without Felix. He was your bubbly, beautiful, funny ray of sunshine. Your best friend who you trusted with your life. He was also the man you’d been in love with for the past 3 years. And you kept it under wraps as well as you could. Because there wasn’t a chance in hell you would ruin this friendship by confessing to him and finding that he didn’t feel the same.  

But Felix was pretty. He was downright gorgeous. And it went beyond his looks, Felix was pretty on the inside. He was kind, respectful, considerate. He was funny and smart and just wonderful in every conceivable way. When he looked at you with his bright grin, your heart made cartwheels in your chest. When he hugged you, he sent goose bumps all over your body. But he didn’t know. I couldn’t know.  

You took another sip of your mediocre and very alcoholic cocktail and sighed. It was your third glass, and you didn’t know what they put in there, but it sure didn’t work. This was not how you’d imagined the night going. But it wasn’t surprising either. Wherever Felix went, he ended up making new friends and there was always as least one person hitting on him. It was tiring, really, but you couldn’t do anything about it.  

“You look miserable”, a voice said, dragging you from your thoughts. You looked up to find one of Felix’s friends stand in front of you. He looked at you curiously, hair loosely framing his handsome face. “Nah, I’m fine”, you said, trying to get out of the conversation before it had even started. “You’re not though”, he said. “Tell me what’s wrong!” He pouted, giving you his best boba eyes. He was adorable, you had to admit. You sighed.  

“Jisung, right?” He gave you an affirmative hum, as he sat down in the empty chair next to you. “Now, Y/N, what’s wrong? Why are you sad at my party?” He remembered your name. You were always surprised when that happened, but it did drag the smallest smile from your lips. It didn’t last long though, because your eyes wandered back to Felix and the girl. You sighed.  

“I see”, Jisung said, following your line of sight, “you’re crushing on Lixie.” “I’m not!”, you replied too quickly and immediately covered your blushing face with your hands. “You so are”, he said, “and I get it. I’ve been there.” You lowered your hands and stared at him. “What?” He giggled. “Yeah, way back when I first met him. Followed him around like a puppy.” “How did you get over him?” Jisung grinned and pointed towards another guy who was currently opening a beer bottle with a chopstick. “Minho. Showed me was real love is.” “So, I just need to find my Minho?”, you asked. “That depends.” “On?” “Do you want to get over Lixie? Or do you really only want him?” 

Exasperated, you threw your head back and let out a groan. “I see”, Jisung said again, still grinning. You had a feeling he enjoyed this conversation far more than you did. “Why don’t you tell him?”, Jisung asked. “Are you insane?” “Just curious, actually.” You sighed. “He’s my best friend.” Jisung raised his eyebrows. “I know. So?” “So, I don’t want to lose that.” Jisung huffed. “I call bullshit. I’m best friends with Minho. You wouldn’t lose that if you got together.”  

You sighed. “You don’t get it.” “No, I do. You think he doesn’t like you back. Which is ridiculous.” Jisung looked at Felix now, watching him brush something off the pretty girl’s shoulder. “You are insane”, you said, taking another sip of your drink, “And blind.” “Oh, her?”, Jisung said, now actively pointing at the girl who seemingly had Felix wrapped around her finger, going by the way he laughed at her every word. “Nah, he’s just trying to make you jealous. She’s in on it.” 

The grin on Jisung’s face was almost as bright as the one you loved so much on Felix. “What?!” Your eyes wandered from him to Felix and back again. “You’re shitting me.” “No, I’m serious.” “No way! You’ve just had too much to drink.” Jisung huffed. “That’s rich, coming from you.” He gestured at the now empty glass in your hand.  

“What? This stuff does nothing”, you replied with a shrug. He raised an eyebrow. “You sure about that?” “I’m not making up nonsense, now, am I?”, you retorted. Jisung shook his head with a laugh before yelling “Jagi, can you come here for a sec” towards Minho. The older one turned his head, said something to the two guys he’d been talking to and made his way over to you.  

“What’s up?”, he said as he reached you. “She doesn’t believe me that Lix is trying to make her jealous and that Hana is in on it”, Jisung explained. “So, she’s blind?” Jisung let out a short laugh and then boxed his boyfriend in the side. “Be nice, babe.” Minho giggled. “Alright, alright. It’s true”, he said to you, “I heard them plan it out.” “You’re for real?” You stared at him with narrow eyes. “So real”, he replied, and for whatever reason, you believed him.  

You had to blink multiple times to process the information you had just been given. Felix, your best friend, who you’d been in love with for 3 years now, was currently talking and giggling and getting touchy with a pretty girl to make you jealous? How could that be real? It sounded like a wild fantasy to you. A ridiculous dream. Because that would mean that he liked you too. Your heart lurched in your chest at the thought.  

And then, without even noticing it fully, you got up and walked over to him. He beamed when he saw you coming, looking more beautiful than ever and for a moment your knees went weak – thankfully, you didn’t stumble over your own two feet. “You!”, you said when you reached him, finger firmly planted on his chest. “Yes?”, he said, eyebrows raised in anticipation. 

That’s when the alcohol hit. The world started spinning, your legs gave out, your balance was gone in an instant. Suddenly, you were caught mid-fall by two strong and very familiar arms. “Had a bit much to drink, did we?”, Felix said with a smirk. You stared at him, his face so pretty but also slightly blurry. “You!”, you said again, more slurred this time. And you knew there was more you wanted to say, but your brain stopped cooperating. “I think we should call it a night”, Felix giggled.  

The rest of the night was a blur. The alcohol really did a number on you, and at some point you promised yourself to never again drink cocktails with unknown amounts of booze in them. Everything got very hazy and all you were really sure of was that Felix was by your side until your head hit a pillow and your mind drifted into a dreamless sleep. 

♥--------♥--------♥

Masterlist

[starshideurfics]

Off the Deep End - part three

part one - part two

steddie, omegaverse, scentmates, high school, poor parental communication

Steve and Eddie are allowed to stay out until 12:30 on New Year’s Eve—long enough to kiss at midnight, say their (Steve’s) goodbyes, and get home.

Eddie already has a decent number of buyers lined up, knows Steve will disappear with Nicole for five minutes when they arrive so they can say how pretty the other looks and get their beers together. It’s one of Steve’s little party rituals, and Eddie is grateful for it. He’ll be using that time to step into whoever’s dad’s study to hand out all his pre-sales.

He’s only got a bit left to sell after that—Rick didn’t have any extra for him—and Eddie goes to find Steve in the kitchen, grabbing his own beer and sliding an arm around his boyfriend’s waist. Then he lets his mind wander a bit as Steve talks about sports until someone turns up the music.

Steve drags him downstairs to dance, working himself up as he works up a sweat. Eddie can smell how needy he is, even over the crush of sweaty bodies and teenage pheromones in the stuffy basement. “You okay, Baby?” Eddie asks in his ear as “Come On Eileen” plays over the speakers.

“Want you ta fuck me,” Steve pants back, pressing tight to Eddie’s body. “Feel empty.”

“Let’s fill you up.” Eddie nips at Steve’s ear and takes his hand, pulling him off to find an empty room.

It takes long enough that they end up upstairs in an en suite bathroom. Eddie locks the door behind them and tugs Steve’s jeans down to his ankles. He waits with his hands on the waistband of Steve’s panties. “Want my tongue or my cock, Stevie?”

“Wan’ yer knot,” Steve slurs, desperate.

“Can’t knot you here, Baby. You know that.” Eddie kisses his cheeks, apologizing with touch. “Probably should keep my cock in my pants.” Steve whines at that. “I know, Honey, I know. Not gonna leave you empty.”

Finally, he pulls down Steve’s panties and guides him to sit on the edge of the tub, kneeling between his spread legs. Eddie starts with his mouth, licking all over, and shoves two fingers into his fluttering hole. Making Steve come is easy for Eddie after all his practice, and he hums around Steve’s little cock as his pussy pulses around his fingers.

Eddie cleans them both up, getting Steve back into his jeans, and holds his cuddly, post-coital omega close.

They post up on a couch, Steve in Eddie’s lap, until Carol Perkins catches Eddie’s eye over Steve’s head.

“Baby, need you to scoot, I gotta piss.”

Steve’s arms wrap tighter around his neck. “Take me with you,” he whines.

“Can’t carry you. I need my hands.”

Steve pouts for a second, then gets distracted when he hears a loud giggle, followed by, “Jason, stop!” come from the kitchen. He goes to investigate, so protective of his fellow omegas, and Eddie’s of half a mind to follow him. But Steve’s able to handle himself, and the sooner he’s done with Perkins, the sooner he can get back to Steve.

But she tries to haggle, offers to let Eddie look at her boobs, “Since Harrington’s barely got any tits,” and before he can tell her to shove it she’s lifted her shirt, showing him pale breasts with puffy, pink areolae.

“What the fuck?”

Eddie panics at the hurt in Steve’s voice, tells Perkins that she and Hagen are cut off, and runs out of the tiny bathroom.

He finds Steve tugging on the door of the bedroom where they left their coats. Obviously, someone locked it to hook up in there and Eddie prays it isn’t on top of their stuff. “Baby, that wasn’t—”

“Don’t fucking ‘Baby’ me!” Steve cries, more hurt than angry. “What the fuck, Eddie?”

“I didn’t want her to do that!”

“Why not? Carol’s got nice tits.” Steve pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I only like your tits, Steve. You have the best tits.”

“Then why were you alone in a bathroom with Carol Perkins?”

“Because I was selling her weed!”

“Why?”

“Because I do that now!” Eddie realizes he’s shouting, he doesn’t want to be shouting. Quieter, he adds, “The money’s good, it doesn’t get in the way of my time at Thatcher… I just…”

“You didn’t want me to know.”

“Your dad is gonna kill me.”

“He doesn’t need to know.”

“Steve.”

“Eddie.”

“I didn’t want to look at Carol’s boobs.”

“I know.”

The sound of the bedroom door unlocking startles them, and Tina Nelson comes out grinning, followed by a sheepish Sam Jankowski.

“I wanna get out of here,” Steve murmurs. “Can we go to the quarry instead?”

“Sure, Baby. Whatever you want.”

Eddie sets an alarm on his watch so he can be sure to kiss Steve at midnight.

💦💦💦

After New Year’s Steve stops accepting invitations to parties. Nicole’s the one who sent Steve looking for Eddie, to find him in a compromising position with Carol. He’s done with it.

Eddie doesn’t even try to convince Steve to give Nicole a second chance. Says taking a break might be good.

But it does mean Eddie needs new places to deal. There’s the picnic table where he and Steve makeout when they cut class. A bench down by Lake Jordan. Skull Rock, where he and Steve go to makeout—and a couple times, to fuck.

But they’re all private enough. Good places to meet customers.

And since Steve only has morning swim practices, he’s there, keeping Eddie company while he waits. Sometimes he does his homework, but he usually has a magazine—one of his mother’s Cosmos—and a Tab cola—also his mother’s. And he looks down his pointed nose at most of Eddie’s buyers.

“Baby, you don’t need to give everyone the stink-eye just because Perkins is a bitch and Nicole is a snake. No one else is stupid enough to try anything,” Eddie says one afternoon at the picnic table, wrapping his arms around Steve’s middle and kissing his neck.

Steve just keeps glaring after Tina.

Once she’s out of sight, Steve turns in Eddie’s arms and kisses his mouth. His hands rest on Eddie’s chest, and Steve slowly drags them down, along with the zip on his jacket.

“Show it to me again,” Steve whispers.

“Baby, it’s freezing out,” Eddie whines, nuzzling at his cheek.

“Puppy, please!”

Steve pouts. He kisses Eddie again. “Wanna see it.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and smiles. “Okay, Baby.” He slides an arm out of his jacket and flannel, rolls up the sleeve of his t-shirt. Still red with irritation is “Stevie” on his right bicep, the i dotted with a heart.

Steve traces a finger gently over it, smiles that secret smile that is just for Eddie, and kisses his neck. “Love you, Puppy.”

“Love you too, Baby. To the moon and back.”

💦💦💦

Eddie takes Steve to his driver’s test on his sixteenth birthday. He passes easily in Wayne’s pickup truck, and Eddie lets him drive wherever he wants afterwards.

Steve drives them all the way to Chicago. They walk around the city holding hands, get hot dogs from a cart.

Eddie drives them home.

He doesn’t drop Steve off at home until after 11:30. His father is waiting up for him. “Your mother and I had no idea where you were,” he starts, voice raised.

“Nothing happened! I’m home safe!” Steve groans, trying to get past him and go upstairs.

“That isn’t good enough, Steven! You know the rules; you aren’t supposed to go anywhere without letting us know.”

“I’m not a pup anymore! I passed my license test, I thought you wanted me to be able to drive myself to school!”

“To school, not all over creation with your trailer trash boyfriend!”

“You promised not to call him that!”

“And you promised to let us know where you went! Christ, Steven! I still don’t know where you’ve been all day.”

“I’m home, it’s fine. Nothing happened, we were just hanging out.” Steve rubs at his eyes. “I’m going to bed.”

“We’re talking in the morning, Steven.”

Talking in the morning means an ultimatum. Steve’s parents already bought him a car; they do want him to be able to drive himself to school, and Richard’s work is going to take him out of town more and more now.

“You want the keys, you’re going on longterm birth control.”

“Mom! What?”

“I want to be able to trust you, Steven. This is how I trust you.”

“I’m being careful,” Steve moans, suddenly sullen.

“It only takes one time, Steven. Especially in your circumstances.” His mother rubs at her eyes, pinches the bridge of her nose. “We want what’s best for you.”

Steve hides his face in his hands. “Mo-om!” he whines.

“I’ve already made the appointment. You’ll get an IUD, and you will not share your heat with anyone—”

“I’m only ever sharing it with Eddie!”

“Not until you’ve graduated, you aren’t!” His dad finishes, face red.

Steve waits a long minute, breathes hard, trying to calm himself. He wishes he were in his nest, surrounded by safe scents. But it feels like he can’t argue this one. “Fine,” he huffs. “When’s the appointment?”

“Tomorrow.”

Steve growls, a pathetic little thing, all his omega throat can manage. “You had this planned! How long have you—”

“Since we bought the car, Steven.” His father pushes himself up and away from the table.

Steve has a feeling it’s been the plan since his presentation… But he’ll do it if it means he can still see Eddie outside of school hours.

The next day Steve drives over to Eddie’s after his appointment, a hot water bottle strapped to his lower abdomen.

💦💦💦

Eddie gets Steve set up on the couch and goes to refill his hot water bottle. “Do you want a Coke or something?” he asks, and Steve moans in response. “That a no?”

“No bubbles.”

“Water?”

“No, just get back in here.”

“Okay!” He dries off the rubber of the bottle and jogs to the couch. Curling around his cramping boyfriend, Eddie sets the bottle back in place, and drops a kiss to Steve’s bonding gland.

“No,” Steve moans again.

Eddie freezes. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“A doctor inserted a T-shaped wire into my uterus without any painkillers,” Steve deadpans. His scent is sharp from more than the pain, but he lets Eddie scoop him into his lap, and turns to seek the alpha’s neck on his own. “Steve, this is more than the cramps, but that’s bullshit about the painkillers.”

“It is. I cried and the nurse said I needed to tough it out… That it would be over soon enough… The doctor just told me to hold still or it would take longer. What a bitch.”

Eddie feels tears against his neck, and he can’t stop the whine that escapes his throat. He tightens his hold around Steve’s chest. “Such a bitch,” he agrees, nuzzling at Steve’s hair.

“But now we don’t need to be as careful…” Eddie murmurs, his mouth dipping lower to kiss below his ear. “Save us money on condoms.”

Scent turning sweet at that, Steve leans back to look Eddie in the eyes. “Oh yeah?” He flashes Eddie his first genuine smile since he arrived.

“Yeah, Baby. I can finally come inside you, get your sweetness all over my knot—”

Steve stops his mouth with kisses, nipping at his lower lip, only to be hit with another cramp. He collapses against Eddie’s chest with a whine. “That’s what I want, when it stops hurting,” he whispers.

“Okay.” Eddie rubs Steve’s back, makes sure the hot water bottle is properly in place, and kisses his cheek. “For now, do you wanna watch TV?”

Steve nods against his shoulder, fingers curling in Eddie’s flannel. He lasts about fifteen minutes before he falls asleep.

It’s gotten dark by the time Steve wakes up, still safely in Eddie’s arms. His belly still aches from the cramps, but the nap helped. “How’re you feeling, Baby?” Eddie asks softly as Steve wriggles in place.

“Better,” Steve hums, pushing himself up. “Gotta pee.”

“Are you hungry now?” Eddie asks. “Or, I guess, do you feel up to eating something?”

“Yeah!” Steve calls from the bathroom, grimacing at the darkness of his piss. He washes his hands and then splashes water on his face, like maybe he’ll absorb some through his skin.

He comes out to Eddie in the kitchen, making the only thing he knows how to make all that well: scrambled eggs. Steve steps in to help, making toast and pouring orange juice into mugs. But eggs take more time, and Steve comes up behind Eddie, arms going around his waist. “This is nice,” Steve murmurs, “Domestic.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah, Puppy. Real nice.”

“It is,” Eddie agrees. He dishes up the eggs, tosses the toast onto the plates, and turns off the burner. “I think there’s some jam in the fridge…”

“I already checked, you’re out. Butter is fine.”

Eddie blushes and carries the plates to the table. Steve follows with their mugs.

Eating together at the table is even more domestic, and Steve feels something warm curl up inside his chest. He wants this all the time, wants everyone to know that he’s got the best alpha.

He stabs at his eggs and mumbles, “Wan’ you to mark me.”

“Pretty sure your dad would actually kill me if I bit you, Baby. And then what’s the point of the IUD?” Eddie returns, knowing exactly what he means.

But he hasn’t made the same leap of logic that Steve has. “More than one way to mark me,” Steve says, hand moving instinctively to cover the now-healed tattoo on Eddie’s arm.

“Pretty sure your dad would kill me for that, too. And your mom would kill me for, I dunno, ‘marring your perfect skin.’”

“They don’t need to know.”

“Steve. How are you gonna hide a tattoo?”

“Make it small… Have it somewhere my swimsuit covers. It’d just be for the two of us.”

“Steve.”

Eddie gives up on talking Steve out of the tattoo idea pretty quickly. He tries to pivot, offering an alternative for the time being. “At least until after your next heat, so you don’t get an infection…”

Steve agrees, pulling down his waistband so Eddie can draw a heart in magic marker over his hip bone, adding an E to the center. Once it dries, he presses a kiss to the mark, promising to redo it once a week.

Purring his pleasure, Steve pulls Eddie to his feet. “Thank you, Puppy.”

[lostinlovingrevery]

He's Definitely Obsessed With You: Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Just Kiss Already

Plot: You and Logan are finally beginning to navigate your relationship and your new lives together. Logan is carrying dark secrets, and finally opens up to you.

A/N: Oh lordy I'm finally done with it. It turned out so fluffy in the beginning and angsty in the end. It'll get better! (Then worse)

Warnings: Mentions of war, past history of violence, anxiety, a bit of jealously, a bunch of fluff towards the beginning, angst near the end, mentions of a past assault (not logan or reader) Logan just needs a hug, so does reader. Also logan is probably not super accurate to his character..?

Word Count: 7470

Prev<- ❤️ ->Next

Years of aching for someone you weren’t sure cared about you the same you did for them was forgotten about the moment Logan came back into your life.

The comfort and safety you always felt in his presence resumed, the admiration of the man you grew to know for over a year in a jungle had only grown stronger as you watched him adjust to a new life and do it with grace. Perhaps it’s because he’s done it before, he knew the drill. Yet still, you found yourself falling for him all over again. You knew him as Logan Howlett, soldier. While you both shared a closeness, there was still a war, there was always an air between you that prevented anything further developing. The most that would happen between you would be conversations of the future, lingering touches, and side glances. Now you could know him as Logan Howlett, friend. Although that’s not necessarily what you’d call your relationship.

Things were unspoken between you.

You found yourself truly looking forward to going out now, because he was going to be there. Although you didn’t go to the wild parties that Rose likes. That wasn’t Logans style and honestly wasn’t yours either, albeit you did it to please Rose and told yourself that it was a good idea even if you ended up dreading the whole ordeal anyway. You and Logan found yourselves doing more…Domestic activities. Movies, festivals, dinners, lunches, the local bar, even the gym. 

“You wanna go see the Exorcist tomorrow night?” 

Logan turned his attention away from the drunken people very badly singing karaoke at the small stage the bar had. The karaoke machine was a new addition to the lively bar, adding more atmosphere to the place that was already unique in it’s burnt orange and brown color scheme, neon signs, and pop art littering the walls. You were sitting in a booth together, his arm draped loosely around you. He quirked his brow in questioning. 

“The Exorcist?..” He asked, then smirked. “Ain’t that a movie about demons and all?”

“Yeeesss.” You respond with a singsong voice, meeting his eyes. He sipped his whiskey, not breaking eye contact from you. 

“No.” He says after firmly setting his beer back on the table. He licked his lips of the droplets of whiskey left on them, and you couldn’t help but stare and think, ‘I could clean that up for you’

You think a lot of things about Logan now. You don’t plan to stop. At one point you would’ve felt guilty to think something of a friend. You and Logan could not be considered friends anymore.

“Why not?” You asked in a whine. “I wanna see it! It looks good! My friend Marie says it was cool!”

“It’s gonna scare you. Just like that last movie.” He says. “Then I gotta listen to you whine about it. You’re gonna call me and complain about being too scared to sleep. Then neither of us will get any sleep.” 

“So?” You grin. “There’s an easy solution to that.”

“Is that so?”

“You just come stay with me after, and then I won’t be too scared. Your presence will scare off all the bad guys.”

Logan raised his brows up. “Yeah? Where am I gonna sleep then? Your couch?” He leans in, and you felt a deep crimson blush burning at your cheeks under his flirty stare. “Not very comfortable.” 

“Maybe you wouldn’t have to sleep on the couch.” You say, and you could feel your breath hitching at the idea. Logan smiled, but it wasn’t his usual sweet smile he gave you. This was something darker and more…lustful, that you were beginning to see more often when you two talked. Lately, all your conversations turn to something flirty, indiciating the rising tensions between you. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but Rose interrupted.

“Alright! Here you go, me and Adam got refills for you guys.” She says, as her- and Adam, who was the leather daddy you seen her makeout with the night Logan came home. Apparently he’d made enough of an impression on her to keep him around. You and Logan separated, occurring to both of you just how close you’ve gotten in the booth. He never removed his arm from your shoulders though, his hand gently squeezing the shoulder it was resting on, as you gave him a side glance, noticing a hint of pink on his ears. 

Things were very unspoken between you.

The way your relationship has developed since he returned was something you thought you would only dream of. 

You got to see more of that playful, boyish charm Logan had that you saw hints of in Vietnam. The charm that made you always crave to see more. Not that you couldn’t love his broody self as well. Each had their own perks that made you smile, where you couldn’t help but think ‘he’s so cute.’ The way he’d tease you, not in a mean way, more loving as he pokes fun at things such as your outfits, though you’d see the sliver of desire come across his eyes when you come in with those high-waisted jeans and low cut top, highlighting your figure for him in ways he didn’t get to see with your army scrubs. You watched him open up to the world. He’d gotten a great job at the local lumber mill, and even fixed his cabin up a bit, considering it was left empty for years while he was gone. He decorated, got new furniture and everything. Rose implied it was to impress you but you think he was simply just trying to…Make a home for himself after being gone for so long. 

He was taking up hobbies like boxing, which you certainly enjoyed watching, as you’d go to the gym with him occasionally in attempts to committing to your own workout (news flash, you aren’t very successful). You weren’t exactly a fan of the fighting, you didn’t like seeing Logan getting punched, but lord the intense concentration on his face, how his brows crease as he scowls at his opponent, the way sweat covered his body head to toe after brawling for an hour. You may not have understood the appeal of fighting each other. A male thing, it must be. You watched the boys in Vietnam do the same thing, practicing boxing and wrestling and all, although that was probably more practice than a hobby.. You did understand the appeal of observing. At least, observing him. 

You watched Logan as he quickly dodged and punched his opponent, effectively knocking him back. A few more swings and it was a knock out. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, shaking your head as you still didn’t understand the whole appeal. Male ego? Still, there was a certain…attraction to seeing how powerful he really can be. You knew that he was actually holding back when he boxes. If he applied his real physical strength- the mutant aspect to his strength, the other side would be down in seconds. Instead, Logan used boxing as a way to focus on his own movements, teaching him to be quick on his feet and defensive.

Logan was watching you as you were distracted with your gym bag, taking a heavy drink of water from his bottle, he took in your outfit, the way it hugged your body and curves, you had worn a workout outfit before, shorts and tank top and it was driving him wild as he kept an eye on you while you were running on the treadmill. Seems like no matter what you do, or wear, you always drive him crazy.. Grabbing a towel, he patted his forehead and hands dry, as he walked to the otherside of the ring where you were, perched on a bench. He nodded to his opponent, a coworker from work, before climbing over the ropes and hopping to the ground. You always waited for him to finish up when you went to the gyn with him, and the both of you would go to lunch together after. 

“Enjoy the show?” He grinned. You rolled your eyes. 

“Enjoy the senseless punching each other? Totally.” You scoffed, but it was merely teasing. You were glad to see him enjoying himself. You stood up from the bench, going to grab your bag, but he picked it up for you instead, stepping close to grab it, his chest bumping your shoulder and you turned to look at him. Your eyes met and you felt that familiar electricity run between you both.

He looked down at you and the look he gave you felt like he wanted to eat you alive. It led to a warm feeling that sunk low in your belly. You noticed Logans nostrils flared and his eyes darkened. 

“You sure you didn’t enjoy that sweetheart?” He says in a low voice, “Watching me?” 

He lowered his head down towards you, and you felt like your heart was in your throat. You saw his eyes flick down to your lips. You swallowed but before you could say anything-

“Hey Logan, good job today man-” 

Logans coworker and sparing opponent came up behind him, smacking him on the back and starting conversation, forcing Logan to step away from you, the heat of the moment evaporating. Although you saw him glance at your while his friend talked, and there seemed to be the lingering look of desire, excepting softer. Yearning. 

You knew though it wasn’t always happy for Logan though. You knew of the nightmares he’d have, the fits of panic. There was things he didn’t tell you. You didn’t ask. You knew if and when he’s ready to talk, he will. 

You found yourself happy with Logan, the way things are. You had felt such need for him for so long, and now that he was here- you surely thought you’d be desperate for his love and attention. Simply though, you enjoyed the time with him. Things didn’t feel…rushed. Maybe it was because in Vietnam, you constantly wondered if you would wake up to an attack, or a bomb, or something. You savored the small joys, like a warm Coke, or music on the radio, or just being able to laugh with Logan. Now though you’re able to enjoy those not just because you don’t have to worry about threats on your life, but because now you know that you and Logan had the rest of your lives to understand each other, for something to work out on it’s own time. It had be a couple years since he came back, and you both moved towards something steadily. 

1975, Alberta, Canada

You were working your shift at the hospital. The hospital had just built a new wing- an emergency center, and you were one the lucky nurses to get transferred over. Apparently your history of being in Vietnam made them think you’d be a wonderful addition to an emergency wing where being quick on your feet, and attention to detail was important. 

Of course they were right but you would have liked to had a choice in the matter. 

Especially since they decided you were to be the charge nurse as well. Without asking. 

Now you were bombarded with all sorts of new duties. Stuff that you didn’t even know existed in doing. Honestly, you believed that this was just the Chief of Staffs way of dumping stuff he didn’t want to deal with on you. You had medical forms to fill out, request forms to put in, and patients to worry about-

Huh, that felt like deja vu….

You were out in the main lobby, acting as triage for now. They were quick in putting you in charge of nurses, supply and drug lists, and various other adminstrative work, yet not quick in hiring more nurses to help you out. Anytime you complained, your boss would remind you,

 “What an absolute honor it is for you to even have this job, with all the womens rights going on. Those ladies would kill to have a job like yours! I mean, i’m sure you wouldn’t be able to find a job THIS progressive at another hospital…” 

What a dick.

“Hey honey,” You heard Rose behind you, and you turned in your chair and gave her a sneering smile.

“Well hello-” You greet sarcastically. “Hows life on the 3rd floor?”

“Whew! Someones bitter.” Rose chuckled. “It’s great, actually. I get breaks, lunches, and all I gotta do is assist the doctors with no extra responsibilities. No uh, administration work, or lack of staffing, or y’know, dealing with someone who shoved something up their ass.” She bragged.

You scoffed. “You got it completely wrong. I’m very happy here. Mind you.” You rolled your eyes. 

“Yeah, you totally look happy.” Rose crosses her arms, an amused smile as she looked down at you in your seat. She looked up, and an even more amused look came across her face. “Although I think your day is about to get better.”

“What?” You blinked, before turning to see who she was talking about. 

You would be embarrassed by how fast you smiled and got up from your chair, but honestly you could’ve cared less. 

Logan had walked in, wearing those jeans you loved on him, a jacket resting over a flannel, and a white t-shirt. He does like his layers, but in snowy Canada- you needed it. He spotted you, and smiled as you both approached each other in the lobby- which was fairly empty, meeting in the middle. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked. 

“You going on lunch soon? Figured I take you out, since you’ve seem so stressed lately…” He smiles. 

“Oh-” Your shoulders slacked. “That’s sweet, my lunch was an hour ago though…” You pursed your lips together, “Sorry.”

“Oh, well, how about a break then? I’ll…get you a candy bar or something.” He says, a small shrug of his shoulders, his smile fading into something more genuine and close. You perked up.

“Yeah, that actually sounds good, I can take a break. Wait for me outside, I’ll be right back.” You hold your hand up, turning to go back to your desk and say goodbye to Rose. She was watching you guys in amusement as you walked back to her, grabbing your jacket off the back of your chair, and your pager off your desk, and shooting her a Don’t you dare say anything look. If you thought she was riding on you hard before Logan came back, she got ten times worse. She says the tension between you two was practically unbearable. You have no idea what she’s talking about.  She gave you a knowing smile and you rolled your eyes, turning around and pulling your jacket on as you walked back towards the entrance, letting another nurse know you were going on break and to page you if anything is needed. 

You met Logan outside, where he was currently banging on a vending machine with his hand. You smiled at the sight, this tall lumbering man, scowling at the machine. 

“Yknow you need to give it money first?” You called out to him, and he lifted his head and smirked. 

“Ate my quarters.” He says. 

“Watch- and learn.” You wink. You reached into your jacket, pulling out a few quarters, sticking them into the coin slot, you pushed in the slot- but not fully, as you reached into the vending slot, able to pull it open just enough to grab the candy bar- and pull back the coin slot, your quarters still in place. You pulled the quarters out, and held up the candy bar in victory as you tilted your head, and beamed victoriously. 

Logan chuckled warmly. “Ain’t that stealing bub?”

You mock gasped, “Me? No way.” You say, holding your hand out, you gave him the quarters. 

“I was supposed to get you the candy bar yknow.”

“You did.” You say nonchalantly as you opened the wrapper, breaking off a piece to hand to him, before biting into the candy yourself, humming happily at the treat- much needed after the day you’ve been having. “Thank you-” You add as you chew. He shrugged, eating his piece of candy you shared with him. “So, anything exciting going on today?” You asked.

“No, just watched tv.” He says. “Started reading that book you suggested.”

Your eyes went wide and you smiled big, “Really? What you think?”

“Pretty good so far, I’m only on the first chapter though.” He shrugs. He glanced around, clearly thinking about something. “You wanna go to Reillys tonight?” 

“Reilly’s? Sure, I’m in.” You nodded, taking another bite out of your candy bar. “You want me to see if Rose and Adam-”

“I always actually thinking just me and you.” 

Your heart fluttered. 

“I mean, I know we do stuff all the time but…” He shrugged. “Just…Something, so we can talk.” 

“We’re talking right now…” You tease gently, rocking your body back and forth, but the blush on your cheeks told Logan you thoroughly agreed with the idea of going out, just the two of you. 

“Different kind of talking.” He says. “The kind where you wear something pretty, and I buy you a drink.” 

You couldn’t hide your giddiness at his words, letting out a small breath as your blush ran deeper, you looked up at him and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds nice…” You say tilting your head. 

He looked relieved for a moment, before returning to his usual demeanor, as he leaned over you, looking down at you like he was going to eat you alive. “So it’s a da-”

Your pager went off, and you groaned. “Sorry.”

“They can’t survive 5 minutes without you, huh?” He grumbles.

“Apparently not.” You turned your pager off. “I gotta go, but thanks for the candy bar Lo-” you hold up the empty wrapper, you reached for his hand, wrapping your hand around his, and squeezing it. He squeezed it back. “So tonight?”

“I’ll pick you up at 7. Sound good?”

“Great.” 

You began to let go, but he lifted your hand up, kissing the back of it as you watched him, his eyes making contact with yours, before finally he let go. You bit your lip, trying to hide your fluster, quickly turning away to go back into the hospital, as you felt butterflies go through your body. As you tried to go back to work, you couldn’t stop thinking about what you wanted to wear tonight. 

The day went by slow as hell- mainly because you couldn’t stop watching the clock. You got off at 4, giving you nearly 3 hours to get home and get ready to go out. 

The entire time you wondered if this was the start for you and Logan. After 5 years, becoming such close friends, sharing intimate moments, and shared connections in a similar past- you couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. Logan was the person for you. You denied that idea a long time, purely just a person who cared deeply for the people you found closest to you. Now though, you couldn’t deny the rapid flutter of your heart. You thought back of all the ‘close call’ moments you had with Logan. Moments where you nearly kissed, admitted your feelings- usually moments that got interrupted by something or other. You always took that to mean that maybe it just wasn’t your time yet, but you felt a charge with Logan today. The way he came all the way down to see you at work, to ask you out tonight when he could’ve just called you when you got off, because he knew your hours- surely he had been thinking about you as well.

When you got home, you tried your best to keep your cool. You didn’t tell Rose initially- but your nerves started to get to you. What if you were overthinking it? What if you dress up to nice and give off the wrong impression? Rose though, could read you- the way you were nervously pacing around the house as you anxiously cleaned real quick before you got ready. 

“What is going on with you?” She asks, following you to your room, as you pulled open your closet and started searching your outfits. 

“I- Nothing!” You say, but you start blushing, and cover you face. “Okay, I think Logan asked me out tonight, and he said something about wearing something pretty but I don’t know I uh…” You bit your lip. “I’m wondering if I took it wrong.”

“Okay, hold up- time out. Logan asked you out?!” Her voice pitched up as she stepped into the room.

“I don’t know! He said he wanted me and him to go out to Reillys- just me and him, to “talk”, and then when I pointed out we do that all the time and he said the kind of talking where I where something pretty and he buys me a drink.” You explain, all in one breath as anxiety wracked you. You didn’t know why you were so nervous, it was Logan, one of your best friends, you didn’t need to be nervous over him but you were.

Rose stared at you like you were insane. “Okay, first, breathe.” She says holding her hands up. “Second of all. It’s a date.”

You sigh as you took in a breath. “I don’t know what to wear it’s- been awhile.”

“Oh, I know.” Rose looked you up and down. “Could’ve had some practice while he was still gone but noooo.” 

“Rose-” You whined.

“Alright calm down- Lets start with whatchu got in that closet of yours.”

You and Rose spent the next hour trying to put together the perfect outfit. She convinced you to wear a black, satin slip dress, something that complimented your figure perfectly- while still remaining neutral enough- seeing as they were all the rage and often seen worn in bars anyway. She helped you with your hair and makeup, complimenting your features while keeping a more natural look. Rose herself was all about the wild makeup- flashy colors, paint as much as you could, but since this was a possible “first date”, she agreed something more natural and light was appropriate. You picked your colors that complimented your skin tone well, and did your hair in your favorite style. You thought you looked pretty nice- but nerves still crept at you.

You were no strange for looking nice, but you really haven’t been on a date in years. It wasn’t like you didn’t know how flirt- considering you and Logan been flirting for over a year since your reunion. You wondered if this was what it was between you and Logan, would things be different? How is this going to impact your relationship? 

Rose noticed your sudden lackluster demeanor, her hand going to your back. 

“He’s gonna love this.” She smiles warmly at you. “The man is TOTALLY obsessed with you already. This is gonna send him through the roof! Lookatchu!” she coos.

You giggled, shaking your head. “Thank you.”

“I’m just so glad to see my girl finally growing up.” Rose says, with fake emotion in her voice as she pretends to wipe a tear from her eye, it made you laugh more- helping you ease your nerves. 

You opened your mouth to retort her comment, but the landline started ringing. Wondering if it was Logan, you quickly went to answer it. 

“Hello?”

You heard a man asking for your name.

“This is she?” You respond, a little confused.

He said your name again. “It’s Frank.”

“Frank?- Frank Jones?” You say in surprise, as the doctor, a man you considered your mentor years ago from Vietnam, came to your picture. “Wow, it’s been awhile, how are you?”

“Uh..Fine. Listen, you okay?” 

“Yeah…” You say slowly. “Why?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just checking on you.” He says. “Did you ever end up going to med school?” 

“Well, no I just hadn’t really-”

“That’s fine. Listen, be careful, okay?” 

“Frank, what are you-?”

“I know you and Logan Howlett are friends.” His voice suddenly toward low, and warning.

You blinked, as you looked at the phone in confusion. Your brows creased, as you felt something weird turn in your stomach. 

“You…Know Logan?”

“I can’t stay on long. I’m just calling to check on you. You need to be careful, especially around Howlett. Don’t get involved in anything.”

Before you could respond, the line went dead. You stared at the phone as you heard the beeps, turn into a flat line, before you hung up the landline. Rose looked at you in questioning. 

“That was…weird.” You muttered. 

“Who was that?” 

“A doctor I worked under in Vietnam.” You look at her. “He was really cryptic though, and he knew me and Logan were friends, I don’t think I ever told him about Logan. He told me I needed to be careful.” 

Rose raised a brow, then crossed her arms. “Okay, I was excited, now I’m scared.” She says. “Why would this guy conveniently call you when you’re about to go on a date with him?”

You shrugged, chewing on your lip. Since Logan had come back, you knew he was carrying something, a weight on his shoulders. He never told you what though.  All you knew was him being apart of a operative CIA team and he left it. Anytime you two talked about Vietnam, or anything regarding it- he’d get this haunted look on his face, like he was going to be sick. So, you never forced him to talk about it. Sometimes it would just come up, it being an impactful part of your life- something you still try to find meaning in today, understand what it did to you and your future. There was a time you never wanted to think about it, but then there’s times it’s all you wanted to think about. Logan though, seemed to never want to go back to it. Whatever he’s done, whatever he’s seen, it was enough for him to want to forget. 

You wondered if Frank Jones knew something about it. Was it bad enough that he had to warn you? You never felt unsafe with Logan. He has been nothing but respectful and safe- not just to you, but the people around you. Rose has stated multiple times that just having Logan nearby has made her feel more comfortable as well. 

“Are you okay?” Rose asked, putting a hand on your shoulder, you looked at her, and nodded.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll..talk to Logan about it later. Or maybe try to find Franks number, call him back or something tomorrow.” You say. She nods.

“Maybe I should go with you…” She says. You saw the worry on her face. Rose was never the type to be fearful or shy away from anything. You smiled.

“It’s fine.” You say. “I’m just going to enjoy the evening, right?” 

Rose forced a smile, but you could tell she now seemed hesitant to let you go off alone. Before you could say anything else, you both heard knocking your door. 

“That’s probably him-” You say, as you attempt to shrug off the weirdness of that phone call. You went down stairs, immediately stopping at a mirror to check your hair and makeup- Rose following you, before you went to the front door and opened it. 

You were a bit taken away by how nicely dressed Logan was. So, this is a date

He was wearing a clean white button up dress shirt, tucked into dark blue jeans, and his typical leather jacket over the shirt. His hair was slicked back, and he looked a mixture of nervous- and excited to see you. You noticed one arm behind his back.

Any worries you had originally went to the back of your head as you took in his handsome figure. It was that you never seen Logan dressed nice- but he was dressing nice for you.

Logan seemed to have the same reaction to you, his eyes trailing over your body, and you see his jaw tense up. 

“You…You look beautiful.” He says softly. A deep blush came across your cheeks, and you took a deep breath to regain your composure. 

“Thank you,” you say politely. “You don’t look so bad yourself?” You smiled, giving him a knowing look. He chuckled, looking down at himself, almost as if he was embarrassed.

“I got you these.” He says, dropping his arm from behind him, and pulling out a bouquet of flowers. “I…Thought you’d like em.” 

They were Peonies- your favorite flower. You remembered months ago walking past the local flower shop with him, and you had gushed over how beautiful they were. Honestly, they made you think of him- the way they start as all closed, before slowly opening up as they become exposed to warmth, the sun, and water. It's what you think of Logan, the way he was always closed up in himself, only to finally begin to open up, as you watched him blossom from the quiet and reserved soldier, to a man finally accepting a life full of joy and possibly…love.

You were surprised, he remembered, and even went out of his way to bring you a bouquet. 

“Lo- they’re-” You laughed softly taking them. “They’re beautiful! Thank you!” He nodded in acknowledgement, you turned back to the house, “Let me put them in some water and we can go-”

“Here girly, I got them, you go on.” Rose came to the rescue, grabbing the bouquet. “Hi Logan.”

“Hey Rose,” Logan nodded politely to her, sticking his hands in his pockets casually. “How are you?”

“Fine.” She smiles. “Go on you two, go on your date.” She urges. Still blushing- a warm heat spread across your face, you turned back to Logan. “I won’t wait up!-” You heard Rose call out as you shut the door behind you. He smirked, taking his hand out of his pocket, and reaching for yours.

“Ready?”

When you arrived at the bar, you both agreed for opting to the small table towards the back, allowing you a little privacy in your conversations in the bar, which was packed as usual on a Saturday night. Logan was a complete gentleman, pulling your chair out for you and pushing it in as you sat. 

“What would you like to drink?” He asks, 

You gave him your order, and he left to go up to the counter to get them. You sat at your table and waited, you took in the atmosphere, adjusting your dress a few times and playing with your hair. Your eyes turned to the counter, where you saw Logan standing, palms pressed to the counter- clearly waiting for your drinks, but something you noticed.

His head was turned, talking to someone. A lady who looked to be around your age, with dark hair that went past her shoulders. She was absolutely beautiful, and she was looking at Logan in a way that twisted your stomach. 

It was no secret that Logan turned heads, and before it never really go to you- perhaps because you knew you were just friends at the time, that you didn’t have a right to be jealous (although it had struck your mind). Logan had never entertained anyone though, and no one has ever approached Logan while you guys were out together- although you definitely seen the stares. You honestly had never considered other women flirting with him- or him flirting with other women, because you yourself had not flirted with anyone- except him.

Maybe this time it was because you two were actually moving forward. Although you couldn’t say that with certainty. You just did not like the eyes she was making towards Logan. You couldn’t see his face, and his body language was fairly neutral, but you felt a small irritation in the fact that he was even talking to her. 

Get a grip, it’s a bar, people talk.

You saw her laugh, flipping her hair a bit, and her hand went to his forearm

Oh for gods sake. 

The bartender brought the drinks, and he grabbed them, a polite nod to her before turning back to you. You felt a small relief that he wasn’t sticking around to talk to her- whoever she was. 

“Here you go.” He handed you your drink, then moved to sit next to you. You smiled up at him, before turning to sip on the straw, before glancing at him again.

“Who was that girl you were talking to?”

Real smooth.

“Hm?” He looked up at you as he took a drink from his whiskey, he leaned back in his chair. “Oh, I don’t know. Some new person in town.” 

You forced a smile and nodded, and Logan seemed to sense your slight tension- a noticeable change when just a few moments ago you were happy and joking around. He leaned forward towards the table again, and he grabbed your hand, holding it on the table as he looked at you.

“So, how was the rest of your day?” 

You relaxed at his warm tone, the way he started a new conversation. You answered his question, and you both fell into a deep conversation- the way you normally do. Not just about your days, but you would turn towards anything. Recently, it was the politics happening in the States, where mutants were being treated as if they were some sort of criminals. Some folks in government were trying to bring back the bill over mutant regulation, the same bill that had been shot down over a year ago. It bothered you- and worried you greatly that mutants were still getting flack in a time of great social change. Canada hadn’t seemed to address any issue of mutants, possibly because there’s no actual “problem” to address, and maybe it made you a little more thankful that you moved to this country. Something in you though, your heart tugged at the thought of those people getting mistreated. 

Logan though, always knew the right thing to say- to put your mind at ease. 

During the night, Logan complimented you, not just your physical looks, but the type of person you were. He always had a hand on you, usually holding your hand, but sometimes he’d reach out- a soft smile on his face as he’d cup your cheek. His thumb rubbing softly against your skin, making your eyes want to flutter shut. 

There was a new energy charging between you, as you both began to feel open to something newer between you, something more romantic. 

You never noticed the dark haired woman again, even as she sat at the bar counter- staring and watching you both continue on your night.

After, you and Logan strolled through the town, admiring the night life and people watching. Logan, normally keeping an arm around your shoulder, had one around your waist, keeping you close to him. You laughed, and you flirted, you teased each other. You felt warmth in you, the way he kept you so close- almost protectively. 

It was getting late, and you both knew that it was getting close to the end of the night, but there was something burning in you. The phone call from earlier had creeped its way back into your head. You didn’t want to ruin the mood, especially since Logan had dropped his arm from your waist, to grab your hand. You needed to ask though, because you knew if you didn’t and you never found out what it was about it’ll probably come back and haunt you later.

“Hey, Lo?” 

“Hm?” 

You stopped, and he stopped with you. You were standing on an empty street, one of the smaller neighborhoods of the town, not too far from yours. It was quiet, peaceful, one of the times you could really appreciate moving to this small town- all because of him. You purse your lips together, unsure how to tell him what happened. 

“Something wrong bub?” He asked, looking at your concerned face. He brought a hand to your chin, examining you as if he was trying to read your mind. 

“Something weird happened, before you came to pick me up.” You begin. “I got a phone call from an old colleague, someone who was in Vietnam. Doctor Frank Jones. Do you know him?”

Logans brows creased, and shook his head. “Not familiar with any doctors. Just you.” He smiled. You nodded, eyes darting away from him, feeling regretful now that you even brought it up. 

“Well he knew you.” You say. “Or…I don’t know maybe he doesn’t…” 

His smile dropped and he stepped closer, dropping his hand from your chin. “What did he say?” 

“He said he knew that we were hanging out, together I guess. He…Told me to be careful. Around you. Then he hung up.” 

Logan frowned, his brows creasing together. You saw his jaw tense up, as he looked up from you, looking around the empty neighborhood. 

“Do you know why he would say that?” You asked softly. Logan looked back at you.

For a moment, he looked angry his lips pulled tight as his eyes narrowed- but then his expression softened, and he looked just plain upset. “I….” He swallowed. “I’m not fully sure. I suppose I can guess though.” 

“You can..guess?” You asked. 

“Look…I…If he was in Vietnam then maybe he knew about me. About the team I was apart of.” He says. “I didn’t want to tell you this. I…I didn’t want you to look at me differently. To be scared of me.” 

“Lo.” You put a hand on his chest. “I could never be scared of you. You being secretive from me though…That scares me.” 

He brought his hand to yours, squeezing it gently, before pulling it away. “After you left, me and Victor got into some trouble. He went after some girl in one of those villages. He got stopped by the commanding officer- not the one you knew, we had a new guy come in. Victor killed him.”

You gasped. “What- are you serious?” 

“It gets worse.” He says. Guilt flashed across his face. “I…Tried to defend him. He was my brother, the only family I got. We’d been serving together for years and I just- thought it’s what I needed to do but… They sentenced us with a death squad. Well, you can guess what happened.” 

You stared at Logan with wide eyes, unbelieving of what he was telling you. He never said anything once, about any of this happening in the letters you communicated back and forth and that…hurt you more than anything. You knew Victor was a bit of a wild card, the man hit on you more times than you care to remember- Logan usually coming to your rescue for that. For him to do something to hurt someone innocent- and then to kill a commanding officer? You didn’t know what to think, as you looked back up at Logan. 

He was clearly struggling as he talked about this. Now you knew why he never wanted to talk about it, why he went silent- with the look in his eyes like he was seeing ghosts. It wasn’t just Vietnam that happened, but that. He opened his mouth, taking in a breath as he spoke his next sentence.

“Obviously it means that they figured out we were mutants, and couldn’t die.” He continues. “We got approached by this man, some kind scientist in the military. He was working on this project- and figured that me and Victor were perfect. He saw our strength, our- mutation. Thought it would be helpful.”

“The operative team you were on.” You say. He nodded. 

“Team X. At first it was just stuff around Vietnam, then we branched out to other countries. Just classified missions, breaking into communist parties, getting intel- sometimes we’d take out a few bad guys but then it just got worse and worse and…The team was becoming brutal. The things they were doing. I couldn’t do it.”  

You reached for his hand, and he looked down at where you were holding him. Then he looked back up at you.

“I thought maybe I was doing something good.” He says quietly. “Helping the country, ending wars. I hadn’t known anything other than violence until you showed up. You made me want to be better and…I just became worse.” 

“Lo-” You stepped closer. “No- No, it’s….” You searched for your words. “You’re not a bad man Lo. You just…Got dealt bad cards. You left, you knew these things were wrong. That’s important. You keep going everyday trying to be better and do better- I know you do, I see it.” 

“That doctor, whoever called you. I didn’t know him. He was right though. You should be careful.” He says gently. “I wondered if I should have even come back when I left the team. I knew you were here, that you had been waiting for me and I didn’t want to disappoint you.” 

“I’m not scared of you Lo.” You say softly. “I know you would never hurt me.” 

“I came back for you.” He says softly. You looked into his eyes, and he looked away, shame on his face- as you brought your hand up to cup his cheek. You leaned forward, softly pressing your lips against his. You gave him room to pull away, but he returned the kiss back. 

Despite everything he just told you, you couldn’t bring yourself to be angry- not at him for not telling you anything, and not for the things he told you he committed. You knew it was something he had been clearly carrying around, a deep guilt he held inside himself- guilt being an emotion that you knew yourself all too well, a feeling that any soldier feels when they come home and you weren’t even a soldier. Guilt may have been his cross to bear, even if his intentions were good, honorable even- and it led to bad things. You knew that it was going to take time, for him to work through this and while you couldn’t heal him or fix him, you could support him- hold his hand and push him to keep going. It was just yet another casualty of war, a man, led to believe he was doing the right thing- only to realize it was all the wrong thing after all. 

You had spent years wondering about your own actions, you wanted to help people, that’s why you signed up. Though you wondered; did you just become another number, another reason for the fighting to keep going? Did your participation support the violence when all you wanted to do was stop it?

There was only thing you knew. It was all in the past. 

The war had been over for 2 years. 

It was time to move on. You didn’t know how you deal with the moral dilemma of knowing the things you done, how do you make up for it? 

You did know that you were glad that you and Logan both made it. Standing there tonight. Perhaps it wasn’t the most romantic conversation- but as Logan pressed his lips to yours, eager and almost demanding, his hands grabbing your hips and pushing you against him- you could feel it. The relief he felt as if he just admitted his sins to his god. You knew Logan Howlett was a good man, that all he wanted to be was a good man. 

Maybe that’s all that was important in the end. 

You parted from you kiss, lost for words- and your breath, and he leaned his forehead against yours. 

“I’m sorry.” He says, his grip on your hips tight, as if he was afraid to let go.

“You should be.” You say. “That kiss was overdue.” He let out a small laugh, knowing that it’s not what he meant- but he could be sorry for that too. You brought your hands up to cup his face, your fingers softly scratching at his beard, making his eyes flutter shut. “We’ll work through this. Okay?” You say softly. “You don’t have to bear this alone anymore.” 

“I don’t deserve you.” He mutters softly.  

“On the contrary, I been waiting for this for awhile. You owe me.” 

He smirked. “That so?”

“Mhm.” 

“I’ll make it up to you.” He says softly, pulling you closer against him. You wanted to kiss him again, but you could tell what he really needed, was a hug. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, leaning into him- hugging him tightly, and he responded with the same, burying his face into your neck. 

You’ll be alright.

[laundryandtaxesworld]

continued from here

idea from @lilithtanith

it was a few months before the one-eighteen had another barbecue. buck buckled his wiggly six month old into the car and drove off towards bobby and athena’s.

buck parked his car and grabbed emma and her diaper bag before going into the back yard. he smelled hamburgers and heard people milling around.

“hey, sorry i’m late.”

“don’t be sorry, can i hold my grand baby?” buck handed emma to athena who started to tell her about how bobby was frantically cleaning before the hangout. emma just gave gummy smile. buck’s heart warmed at the sight as he set down the bag. eddie came up to him with two beers in hand.

“thank you.”

“so how’s being a parent?” buck let out a low groan which eddie chuckled at.

“yeah, that’s basically how it feels.”

“i just love her so much.”

“that feeling never goes away.” hen and chim joined the two of them, and the four got to talking.

“you know what is the worst thing about this situation?” buck asked, his empty beer bottle loosely held in his hand.

“what?”

“he tried to tell me. he tried to tell me he was pregnant and i had his number blocked. it don’t even remember doing that.” buck ran a hand over his face when he couldn’t hear one single breath from the other three. he looked at their face, the way guilt seemed to choke them. buck felt an icy cold feeling wash over him.

“did you know he was blocked on my phone?” buck asked coolly as he looked at his friends.

“we-we blocked him, eddie admitted.

“what?” buck bit out harshly.

“buck, it was for your own good. to let him go,” hen pleaded.

“for my own good? i’m an adult. i’m not a child.” a silence settled over the yard, heads turned to the quad.

“buck, please,” chimney said trying to calm him brother-in-law.

“no, chim. you fought for maddie, why shouldn’t i have fought for tommy? huh?”

“buck, you were moping, we were trying to get you back on your feet.”

“eddie, i had JUST broken up with the man i love. of course i would be moping. but all three of you think i’m a child, a child who can’t make his own decisions. so you all made a decision FOR ME!” buck was shouting at this point. hen had ushered the children inside as well as the other adults, so they would be given at least some privacy.

“we didn’t make any decision for you, buck,” eddie defended, “we were helping you.”

“you were not helping me, you made tommy’s life a living hell

“w-what?” hen whispered.

“because he was blocked i never got his messages. he felt like i’d abandoned him and i did, so he went through his pregnancy alone and afraid. he DIED alone. you say you’re his friends? this isn’t what friends would do.”

“buck..”

“no. i’m going home. i don’t want to talk to you all right now.” buck left the three of them who felt like they’d been dunked in ice water.

buck gently grabbed emma from athena’s arms, grabbed the bag and left the barbecue. everyone was left in a stunned scilence.

buck was fuming as he feed emma her dinner. behind the “here comes the train” he wanted to punch his punching bag. emma babbled at him and he smiled.

“hi, my sweet girl. what’s going on in your head?” emma smiled and babbled at him.

“yeah? me too. it’s been an… interesting day.”

buck finished feeding emma, gave her a bath, read her a picture book and put her to bed. with his daughter fast asleep, buck finally let himself cry.

he cried for what his friends did, he cried because of his own actions and he cried for tommy tommy who felt alone and unloved, when buck loves him with his whole heart.

“i love you tommy, so so much.”