#(I assume she's gonna get a more proper design if the project takes off)

[ravespect0r]

I find it rather humorous when people learn of WhiteCUL's existence and their reaction is like "wait, WhiteCUL? is that a reference to CUL the vocaloid?" heh, posers. you didn't know about WhiteCUL, CUL's oldest sister? what's next, you're gonna tell me you don't know about BLACKCUL? MOONCUL? not even WINDCUL? wow. ok.

[bukojuiice]

the wedding booth  — eren jaeger

ೃ pairing: (eren jaeger x  fem! reader)

ೃ after being unwillingly dragged to plan and create a wedding booth for your first university festival, eren accompanies you to a bridal boutique. there, he contemplates about the future and all of the cheesy romantic stuff he wants to do with you.

ೃ genre and warnings: college au, lots and lots of fluff!

ೃ  my nav  →  my aot masterlist

ೃ 1k words

My Big Fat Greek Wedding, My Best Friend's Wedding, The Wedding Planner, Wedding Crashers... hell, even Mamma Mia.

If having to be forced to watch these romantic comedies about weddings doesn't give you the sudden urge to get hitched and run away to some tropical island, then you don't know what will.

For your very first uni fair at Shigashina University, your friends had proposed a Marriage booth. To be more specific, three of your friends did. Jean, Sasha, and Connie are the masterminds behind this stupid idea and it's all because of three things:

1. Jean is pining over Mikasa so so bad. So many years have passed and yet he still hasn't found a way to confess. And so, due to his pompous ass binge-watching stupid rom-coms recently, he thinks that if "fake dating" can bring two people together, then having a fake wedding with his unrequited crush of 12 years could finally make her fall for him too. He wants the booth to be as iconic as a wedding straight out of Las Vegas. Problem is, he's never been to Las Vegas, and his terribly unrealistic basis for wanting it to be as iconic as a "Las Vegas Wedding" is that one scene from The Hangover and that episode from Friends.

He was delusional and yet, he wanted to push through with this proposal no matter what. Nothing was going to stop him... not unless it was one of the three seniors whom you would be proposing this project to in the first place.

2. Sasha's goals are much normal. A bit odd, but still normal and not as desperate as Jean's. All she wants is to get Ymir, the captain of the school's soccer team to confess to Historia, the freshman Bio-Chemistry student who works part-time as a library assistant (and whom everyone secretly fawns over for. she's just that damn cute.) However, the real reason as to why she helped [rp[pse this stupid marriage booth to get them to finally confess to each other is anyone's guess.

3. Connie thinks he's gonna get clout from this. Rise up the university hierarchy perhaps? He's treating the entire festival like it's high school all over again. He prays that the marriage booth will become the hottest thing in the festival, then he'll instantly become that cool and bad-ass freshie whom everyone wants to be friends with. Either way, if the booth is going to be a success or not, you know for a fact he's never going to be a part of the "cool kids" (good lord, can you believe people still use that term in college?) and he's gonna be stuck with you and your other friends for the rest of the years to come.

It didn't take long before they finally finished their elaborate PowerPoint Presentation (despite Connie insisting that Powerpoint is boring) that they were going to pitch to three of the principal members of the student council. Namely, Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman, and Hange Zoe.

It was gonna be an automatic no for Levi, obviously. Nothing could ever get past that man. But if they can somehow convince Erwin and most especially Hange to get on board with their stupid scheme, then the booth was good to go.

Now, here you are, in a bridal boutique. Purchasing some simple wedding dresses that will serve as your rent-a-dress service for the Marriage booth.

It wasn't originally a part of the plan. Not at all.

However, Hange would only approve of the project IF the wedding booth was going to be made into something more elaborate and memorable. They didn't want something as simple as printing out fake marriage contracts, cheap tulle fabric wedding veils, fake plastic bouquets, and wedding pictures that came out of a polaroid camera.

Oh no no no. They wanted it to be extravagant. The cream of the crop. The absolute bomb. The best booth at the festival.

Hange saw potential in the idea and with an approved budget by the student council, you could make anyone's wedding dreams come true.

 Fast forward to a week before the event, you are currently on a shopping spree with Armin, Mikasa, and your boyfriend, Eren (because Sasha insisted he had the right proportions for the rental groom outfits. She totally did not ask him to come along so that he can see you try on wedding gowns.) to buy supplies, props, decorations, and everything else needed.

"(Y/N), we'll meet you and Eren at the bridal boutique, okay?" Armin proclaims, looking at the time on his wristwatch and struggling to balance the shopping bags on his other hand.  Mikasa notices how much he's been struggling and offers to hold the bags for him.

"Sure! Don't forget about the list that Jean sent!" You shout back, turning to Eren as his fingers interlace with yours, making your merry way to the boutique whilst Armin and Mikasa go off the other direction.

"Don't get too excited." You joke, nudging Eren on the arm. "I'll just be trying on these dresses for the booth."

There's a particular glimmer in Eren's emerald eyes, chuckling at your quip. "Sheesh. Did you really have to remind me? Of course I know that. Besides, we're too young to even think about marriage right now. What's important is that I'm spending the best years of my life with you."

"Eren Grisha Jaeger, it is too damn early for you to make me a blushing pile of mess with your flirty comebacks." You deadpan, the heat rising up your cheeks as you try to hide your embarrassment from him.

The both of you laugh it off, shuffling into the store. The chiming bells of the shop door echo around the area as you look in awe at the luxurious dresses occupying every available space. The wafting smell of a vanilla pinecone scent and the soft sound of a sewing machine doing its work. There was a homey and rustic feel to this boutique that made you feel like you were sent back in time.

From great flouncy pieces adorned in layers of lace that rolled like ocean waves to more humble designs, albeit of the finest cloth.

This plethora of finery- reminds you strongly of the many genteel ladies depicted in those books and historic romances you used to read and watch. Like that of Pride and Prejudice or Sense and Sensibility.

Having the opportunity to enter a boutique such as this was a dream.

"Welcome! May I help you find anything?" A seamstress appears from the register. She looks at you from head to toe, as if trying to guess your measurements.

"W-we're looking for wedding dresses. Anything within the 200 to 300 dollar range? We don't need anything extra fancy, though! We'll just be needing them-"

Her eyes shift from you to Eren like she's suddenly a love coach, sizing the two of you up. "Yes, yes, young love! How sweet!" She chirps, breathing out a dreamy sigh. "Of course! For couples on a tight budget, we have-"

"We're looking for wedding dresses that can be used as costumes! Not too short and not too long either. W-we're not getting married or anything." You dismiss the seamstress with a wave of your hand. "I'm sorry if you thought of it that way..."

Although her shoulders visibly drop, the saleswoman still manages to smile. "Oh! I would like to apologize for assuming anything too!"

"Actually, mam, we do have plans sometime in the future." Eren grins cheekily, pulling you close to him. "Not today, of course, but we'll make sure to drop by in a few years!"

The saleslady's eyes lit up at Eren's vow. "Over here are some of our best-selling pieces! Ones that will certainly attract the eye of any groom!" She beckons you over to some mannequins lined up in the middle of the store, your gaze is drawn to the myriad of dresses on display as you walk throughout the space.

You turn back to Eren, studying him closely as he walks a few paces behind you, you thoughtfully wonder if the dresses you would pick out would match his taste.

She leads you to the back of the store to show the other garments and dresses embroidered with simplicity and yet elegance. You then pick two gowns up from their respective racks, satisfied with your purchase and making a beeline to the register to pay. However, the seamstress stops you from your tracks.

"How about this one, dear?"

You turn your attention to her, doe-eyed and curious as to what she was going to show you next.

"It is indeed a wedding dress, although not what you had asked for, the handsome young man did say something about your marriage plans. Perhaps this might help you visualize it? Give you an idea for the future, hm?" She hums wistfully, drawing your attention to the mannequin she placed in front of you. "It would be a shame if you left the boutique without trying anything on."

"(Y/N)?" You hear Eren's husky voice call out for you from the front of the store, "Armin just texted me. They can't find a specific prop in the crafts store so we might have to wait a bit longer for them."

"Okay! We can spare more time in the boutique, anyways." You answer back,  before turning your attention to the seamstress once more.

"Alright. I think I'll try it on then."

"Trying it on" turned out to be more than you had imagined. You thought you could just slip inside the dress and show it off. But nope. You needed a few adjustments to dress, adornments in your hair, and had to wear a wedding veil.

It was almost as if you were actually preparing to be wed.

"Good sir, your lovely missus is ready!" Yup, even the words of the seamstress made you feel like you were living in the 17th century right now. Did she really have to use such fancy words?

"Please, watch your step." The seamstress takes your hand and leads you out of the dressing room and right towards—

Eren who had been waiting in the shop proper.

"Doesn't she look beautiful?" She giggles, glancing at Eren for a response. "Well, I'll leave the two of you here first and bring the dresses you've chosen to the cash register first." In a wink, she's gone and had disappeared into the back almost before the words left her mouth.

The unfamiliar yet elegant garb makes you feel shy and the fact that Eren was gaping at you did not help at all. He was absolutely entranced by your beauty.

You unconsciously lower your head, tucking a strand of hair beneath your ear, unable to bear the thought.

"God, you're not just beautiful. Y-you look breathtaking."

He says in a barely audible whisper, pulling you to him once more.

Placing his hands on your waist, Eren plants a soft, tender kiss on your chest, the low-cut dress affording it easily. In a heartbeat, you feel your cheeks grow hot.

"Heh. Guess I got you again." He grins wolfishly, still admiring your beauty and tracing circles on the back of your hand. "I-I don't deserve you... I really don't."

"If you didn't deserve me, would you be here right now?" You say jokingly, raising your eyebrow.

"I mean it." He buries his face on the hem of your dress, his voice is muffled and soothing. "I can't believe you chose to love me." He looks up at you, eyes practically welling up with tears. "God, I honestly can't believe I'm crying right now, but, yeah... I am. That's how much I love you and how much I want to marry you right now."

You giggle at the expression your boyfriend has shown before you, stroking his hair and burying your fingers into his long brunette locks. "I love you too. But... why so sudden? You already told the saleswoman that we'll be back in a few years. She'd be surprised to hear you change your mind so easily."

"Well, if that's the case, then I better tell Jean to have us first on the list of the wedding booth then. We worked our asses off for this, might as well be the first to be blessed with the luck of that stupid booth."

You giggle once more as he continues to hold you so close. You feel his breath and his heartbeat. Each exhale and pulse brings you to the realization that Eren is the one. The man you want to be with for the rest of your life. The man who will help you through all your faults and mistakes, your burdens and troubles, through all the ups and downs... he will be there.

Just as you will be for him.

Guess those stupid movies centered around weddings weren’t so bad after all

.taglist: @crapimahuman​

[riverleyk]

RECOVERED: Lost Mafia Kids files.

Mafia kids: 12 signatures as been my passion project all the way back since high school... like... 6 or 5 years ago? Oh my god... I'm getting old. This dates back to 2018.

CHAPTER 1

My high school years will be memories that I look over with more and more horror as I get older. At the time, I wasn’t afraid and I was too naive to realize the real danger I was in. However, I will never regret what I did. I was only trying to help.

It started with my dad losing his job. My family depended on him financially, my mom never worked too much, my brother, Kevin, was too young to even work, and even if I was old enough to work at the time, I didn’t want to and I felt as though I was allowed not to. Pretty selfish, right? But the minimum wage I could have gotten wouldn’t have helped in this situation; my family used to be rich, but once my dad was fired, we lost all the money and the benefits that came along with it. I assume it’s because my father liked to show off and so we were living above our means.

We moved to the slums of the big city, it was the most dangerous place in the area, but the cheapest. We stopped buying nice things like we used to, now we lived on bare essentials. Kevin took this hard, but I tried to adapt. I went to a new school too. It was the only school in the ghetto closest to our house, but it was infamous for being filled with child delinquents. Not only that, but it was infamously known as the worst school out there, in the poorest neighborhood.

I was so foolish… I really expected to be accepted there. In my old school, I was a bit bullied but I had a large group of friends, and we all got a long great! I was a really social and friendly person, so I wasn’t worried about going and making new friends in this hostile environment, but I was so, so, SO stupid!

From the second I walked in, I was stunned by how diverse it was there, there were few white people, and most of the kids there were racial minorities. I stuck out like a sore thumb… I went to school wearing my favorite rainbow pastel dress, I had even curled my hair and showered before my first day of school! I smelled of flowers and I was so cute looking. That however… That was my first mistake!

The others kids looked dirty… I don’t want to sound mean but they did! Their shirts were covered with stains. They seemed tired and unkempt. It was really a shocking contrast to the private school I went to before, but I tried not to judge. I acted super friendly and nice to everybody I saw. I introduced myself and I did a curtsy, I was so prim and proper!

“Hello there! My name’s Safara Grace, I’m new to this school. How are you?” Is what I’d say, but people seemed to hate me even more.

But not only that… I was white… Pure white. No, I don’t think you understand just how pale my skin is, it looks like I’ve never been outside before. Why? Because I’m an albino! Yes, my skin is pale, my eyes are purple and my hair is bleach white. Every time people see me, they look stunned and ask if I’m faking it. I’ve been dealing with this my whole life. I was born this way. Albinos are so rare, so the best way I can make you understand what my life is like on a daily basis is to make you imagine something…

So imagine you’re a kid… A black kid...going to school, but everybody there is white. They've never seen a black kid before and you are the only black kid around.

Imagine the bullying or the weird stares… Yeah! That’s my life all the time! Except I have no refuge with other albino people like the black kid does, I just have me! Being such a rare trait, I don’t even know another who looks like me… Oh and also, my skin is very irritable to sun light, so I walk around with a parasol all the time.

But anyways, I made no friends. For the first time ever, I was unable to make friends! I was heart broken and confused. I became very lonely. I hated this school so much… Everybody was so different… They hated me because I looked rich and I was so freakishly white. I told myself that the racism against me for being white was justified. I mean, white people were very racist in the past… But I soon stopped when I realized the few other white kids in the school weren’t getting bullied at all! Well… Except for one… I noticed this boy who always did group projects and sat alone at lunch like I did... He never spoke and nobody ever dared talk about him. I started hanging out with him, and I soon learned why…

CHAPTER 2

Yeah, that boy was creepy. He was tall, bone thin skinny, and he had extremely messy dark brown hair, tipped with gold. He was sort of attractive in the “I look almost dead inside but I’m super hot” kind of way. He wore a blue dress shirt with a grey hoodie on top. He was…strange.

He looked so tired with black bags hung under his eyes. His skin was gray and bruised all over. He had this depressing aura that lingered around him. To any normal person, just staring at him would send off red flags and make you stay away. To me though, a desperate and lonely teenage girl, he was perfect.

I quickly understood why everybody stopped bullying me when I started hanging out with him; they pitied me! They used to call me names and shove me into walls, but they stopped when I met him.

One day, a popular girl told me she would be my friend if I stopped hanging out with him. “Uh… why? I’m sorry but this sounds like a trap.” I replied to her, rolling my eyes.

“I know this looks cheap but I’m not kidding…”, she paused, “that guy is NUTS. He’s too weird for such an innocent li'l girl like you. Look, I promise to be nicer and I’ll tell everybody in school that you’re cool, but seriously…not him…hang out with anybody except him…”

“Why? Why is he so crazy to you?” I was so insulted by her pleas.

“Because he’s…he’s… I don’t know what’s wrong with him!”, she yelled at me. “The guy’s a fucking creeper and he’s unstable! Not only that, but rumors around school say that he’s addicted to the worst kinds of drugs, but nobody is even sure of that. Others say he’s mental, but it doesn’t matter what his problem is, he’s gonna rip you apart, Safari!”

“My name is Safara…”, I said in a dead pan tone. All I could do was walk away.

I think I did the right thing in that moment… That girl was a bitch to me. She spread lies around the school about my father and how he lost his job for cheating on my mom. Everybody believed it only because she was popular. I hated her and I wasn’t going to take her advice.

But, no matter how I spin it… She was absolutely right. Bonding with that guy was harder than I thought… More often than not, I felt uncomfortable around him. Getting him to speak was hard enough, he would ignore me and stay silent but when he did talk, it was…

IT WAS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND HIM! He spoke like an emotionless robot! His tone of voice was this constant bored and tired tone, yet sometimes he’d say a joke or act sarcastic, but it wouldn’t make any sense because he sounded exactly the same as his normal tone!

It took me a whole month to get him to talk to me. I felt bad for pestering him around… I’d force my way into working with him during group projects in class, I’d eat with him at lunch, and I'd hang out with him in the library.

I remember the first time I got him to talk to me. I had opened up my sketch book and tried showing him my clothing designs. He looked at them blankly. He seemed uninterested at most of the drawings.

"They're pretty good.", he said in an uncaring tone.

"Oh...you...like them? For real?" I couldn't help but smile anyway.

“Yeah.” He replied simply. “You’re good.”

"Oh, thank you..." I pointed to my favorite ones. "You see how my dresses are colorful? Well, I do that just cause these days all the clothes are boring and black. I like making my stuff stand out, but I also like pastel colors too."

I assumed he didn't care because he sounded bored. Also he's was a boy. Boys don't like fashion like girls do.

He tilted his head slightly, "Yeah..I can see that.”. He sounded just as lifeless as ever.

I was surprised by this interaction, but after this he seemed to open up to me. He spoke to me about the things his liked; those being science and history, but he still didn’t talk much.

It was funny, because after a while I got used to him. I was able to read his sarcasm from his honesty even if the tone of his voice didn’t give any clues… I was so used to his weirdness that I stopped questioning him about all the bruises he had on his body. Heck, I even forgot that I didn’t know his name!

But luckily, one day he told me it out of the blue. We were in class working on a english oral presentation and we were both writing our parts and then he suddenly looked at me, straight in the eyes and said:

“Dimitrius Atkins.”

“What?”, I replied, not even bothering to look back at him.

“That’s my name. I know your name.” He replied. “But you don’t know mine… a-and that’s not fair.”

“Oh… You’re right! I sort of forgot about asking you after a while.”, I said, surprised. “Dimitrius… That’s an uncommon name..” “Please call me Dimitri though.” He corrected me with a monotone expression. “I don’t like Dimitrius.”

“Oh… why don’t you?”

“It sounds too serious. I’m a goofy guy. It’s not very fitting.”, he said seriously. How ironic.

I just giggled and went back to work.

From then on, we sort of became friends. The more he spoke, the more concern grew in me. He wasn’t crazy like everybody said he was, but there was something wrong with him.

He showed up to school with blood stains on his sleeves and scars all over him sometimes. I can’t forget the time he showed up to class late… He limped over to his desk, bruises all over his hands and he had a black eye. That was my wake up call. After that, I started noticing more.

I guess the first thing was his sarcasm. I assumed it was sarcasm.

“Hey Dimitri, what’s up!?”, I’d say excitedly.

“No… He’s not here right now.”, he’d reply.

Or other nonsensical replies.

“Hey Dimitri, for the project, do you want me to write the introduction or should I do the conclusion?”

“No, Safara, the world won’t have a conclusion.”, he said blankly.

“Dimitri, I mean the project!”, I exclaimed. “What are you talking about?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” He said looking away from me.

These sort of situations would come out of nowhere. Like I said, I thought it was him being sarcastic or making jokes, but the more we talked, the more I realized: he wasn’t joking. He was giving me these nonsense answers because he thought they were appropriate but it just made no sense…

I asked my mother, a psychologist, about it. I told her everything about him.

“Oh Safara… Your friend sounds like he’s mentally ill.”, she answered with concern in her eyes.

“You sure? I know he’s weird but…”

“Safara, this sounds serious. Maybe you should invite him over someday… I would love to talk to him.”

“Ok mom, I will.” I told her.

CHAPTER 3

The day after, I went to school with a mission. I was going to invite Dimitri to my house! I was so anxious about it that my legs were fidgeting all day.

I saw him sitting at his usual spot, alone in the library, reading a book about robotics like he always did. His hair was combed that day, he looked good for once! Well, looking good for him is pretty easy. He just has to look like he wasn't beat up 10 minutes ago and had washed his hair in the past 20 years.

I walked over to him, and Dimitri greeted me!

“Hey there, angel girl.”, he quietly said. He sounded tired.

I was caught off guard. Was he complimenting me? I sat down next to him.

“Hey there. So…do you want to go out?”, I said jokingly. I wanted to see him get flustered. I was pretty disappointed when he just nodded and continued reading. I think I may have spotted his cheeks get a little flushed, however.

“No, I mean, do you want to eat dinner with my family this weekend?”

“No.” He said dryly.

“Oh… Do you want to hang out this weekend?” I tried again.

“Sure.”

“At my house?”

“No.”

“Then where do you want to hang out?”, I snapped at him impatiently. I was shushed by the librarian.

“At the park.”, he whispered back.

“Oh. Cool.” I was a bit surprised. I didn’t know there was a park near by. “See ya there then.”

“Bye.” He waved at me and very obviously forced a smile. “Dimitri... I’m not leaving.” I laughed quietly but the librarian heard it. He promptly kicked me out of the library.

I got up and walked out.

“Bye again.”, he said while waving at me. This time his smile seemed more genuine, which hurt me a lot.

I muttered curse words under my breath and walked out embarrassed. My mission was a failure, but I was going to meet him at the park that Friday after school, so I felt proud either way.

Friday night finally came. The wait was unbearable. We met outside of the school. He gave a look, but it was more like a blank stare. He gave me a signal to walk over to him. Once I was close to him, he said carefully,

“Watch out for people who follow us. The park is safe but the path there is dangerous.”

I was unsure of how to reply so I just nodded. He put up his hood and lead the way. I followed him, walking by his side, trying not to get my parasol in the way. I tried to make small talk, but he stayed mostly quiet.

He asked me about my family, so I told him why I moved here.

“That’s too bad.”. He sounded careless, like he didn’t mean it. “This place is a bad place to live in.”

“I… Yeah…”. I agreed with him but I felt bad doing so, knowing that he lived here.

Looking around me, I saw trash all over the streets. People weren’t dressed as well as they used to be back in my previous neighborhood. People looked tired or overworked. There were hobos all over the place. Not to mention the buildings looked old and worn down.

“This place is so different from where I used to live.”, I told him.

“This is what poverty looks like.”, he said bluntly, “everybody here is suffering.”

“I know…”. I was hurt just seeing it all. I felt so sad for these people. “I want to help them.”

“Don’t.”

“W-why not?”. I stammered over my words, shocked by his apathy.

“They just take and take. They will never get out of this.”. He looked at me blankly. “Nobody gets out of poverty once they fall into it.”

“But… what about me?!”, I said, insulted.

“Start getting a job. Save up.”. He looked around behind his shoulder. “You can dream too.”

I stopped talking to him until we reached the park. I didn’t like him being so mean but what he said had truth to it.

The park was surprisingly isolated. It was full of trees and trash littered the ground. It was peaceful and it looked like a forest with hiking trails.

“You like to walk?”, he asked emotionlessly.

“Yes, and I love nature too.”, I said smiling, pleasantly surprised by the beauty of the park. “There’s a lot of trash here but it’s still nice to have a forest in the middle of the city.”

“That’s good.”, he replied, “nobody likes to come here…”

“Oh? Why not? It’s so pretty!”

“Um… well.”, he started, “there was once a big mafia that was running this part of the city. They committed many crimes. This park used to be popular for kids in the summer, but then they realized that the mafia was burying their victims here…. A police investigation was launched and they dug up over 22 bodies…”

“Oh my god…”, I whispered.

“Exactly.” He nodded. “People weren’t allowed in during the investigation…but once it was over, people didn’t want to come back in here. I’ve only ever seen one other guy here.” “They are afraid… and for good reason.”

“And nobody wants to buy this land cause it’s “haunted” apparently.” He forces a small laugh like it’s funny. “I’ve been here a lot and I haven’t seen anything here.”

“Well… heh… I can’t say I’m exactly too thrilled to take a stroll in here now.” I joked even though it was half true.

He didn’t reply. He just started walking. We walked in silence for a bit. It was making me feel really uncomfortable. I started looking around the forest. We could still hear the cars whooshing past us, as the streets were just behind the tree line, but as we walked further and further away, the sound faded.

I felt at peace, listening to the rustle of the wind in the leaves and the birds in the trees.

As a city girl, I don’t go to forest that often. My closest experience to animals are the bird feeders in my back yard and the squirrels. This walk was giving me nostalgic memories of the times I went camping.

I turns to look at what was to my left and I jumped a bit, seeing Dimitri besides me was startling as he was so quiet I forgot he was there. Though now, I was staring at him…. subtly! So he wouldn’t notice… I spotted a couple of bruises on his hands, neck and a faded scar on his cheek. Now that I was up close to him, I could see there was a lot more signs of injuries on him then I had previously thought.

“Hey Dimitri…”, I mumbled to him timidly.

He almost robotically turned to look at me. “Yeah?”

“Sorry for asking this… It might be personal. Why do you have a lot of bruises on your skin?”, I asked him. Instantly regretting the invasive question, I stammered out another sentence. “It’s nosey of me, I know, but it’s a hard detail to miss. It’s concerning…”

He went back to looking in front of him. He didn’t reply for a solid minute. The silence and wait was unbearable.

“I just get into a lot of fights.” He answered simply.

“But how?” My interest was peaked.

“Well you know… it’s a bad neighborhood. Gangs are everywhere.” He turned to look at me. “You better be careful.”

The words lingered in my head, sending a chill down my spine. The way he said it, cold and uncaringly, sent implications that were not spoken. Was he…threatening to attack me? Or was he warning me of other people doing so? He creeped me out.

“T-thanks… I will.”

Finally we reached a small river that ran along through the city and this park. We stopped and Dimitri told me a story about how a kid drowned in it. He’s not a very cheerful guy but I tried to ignore it…

We sat along the edge of the river. There were ducks passing by. Dimitri pulled a whole loaf of bread out of his back pack and handed me a few slices.

“Do you always carry around bread in your bag?” I laughed.

“Yep.” He said throwing a piece of bread into the water.

I laughed even harder. “So you do this often?”

“Yep.”

A pack of ducks were gathered around us now, fighting over the pieces of bread we were tossing into the water. We fed the ducks together while chatting. Eventually the topic of family came up.

“Well… I have a little brother. He’s a little brat. What about you?”, I asked.

“I’m a single child.”, he said, concentrated on the ducks.

“Aw, that must be lonely, isn’t it?”

“It is… But not because of my lack of siblings.”, he answered robotically.

“Oh how so?” I was probing for more information.

“Well I don’t have a father… Um… no. I do have a dad, he’s just not around much at all. And my mom? I avoid her.” He said hesitantly.

“Why is your dad gone? Why do you avoid your mom?”, I asked, concerned for him.

He forced a smile and looked at me. “No. Everything is fine.”

“Dimitri…” I gave him my “I know you’re lying to me” face and his smile faded away back to his neutral expression.

“My mom isn’t a nice woman… And my dad is in prison.”

“Oh… I’m sorry.” I felt bad for pushing him to say it.

But a thought clicked in my head. He came to school everyday with bruises and cuts and he admitted that his mother wasn’t “nice”. Was this abuse?

“D-Dimitri… does your mom hurt?” I questioned.

“No.” He said simply.

“But you-”

“No.” he said a bit louder. “She doesn’t like me. But she doesn’t not like me either.” He said calmly. “Now stop asking me crappy questions.”

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s ok. I forgive you.”

We finished the bread and the ducks looked satisfied. They swam off and we walked off. He chatted a little back to the streets. I offered Dimitri the dinner invitation again and he accepted. We scheduled it, and I went home.

CHAPTER 4

It was the big day! Dimitri was gonna come over, we were going to hang out, eat dinner and somehow I’d persuade him to talk to my mom so she could figure out what was wrong with him.

I know I sound weird, trying to stalk him and get him diagnosed by my mom, but I obsessively want to help people and sometimes I take it too far. This is one of those times.

Dimitri showed up at our door. He was wearing a blue dress shirt and his hair was combed but still messy. He had a black eye and a bloody nose. He didn’t seemed fazed by it at all.

My brother heared the knocking first, unknowing of what our guest would look like. To his surprise, he was met by a disheveled young man at our door, standing like nothing was the matter. All he could do was stare.

Dimitri was so shy he didn’t say anything, just bleeding out of his nose. The blood was dripping down his face and leaking down his neck. He had just been seriously punched in the face, but my brother was too choked up and confused to know what to do.

“What the fuck happened to you!?”, Kevin yelled in disgust.

“I um..” He stammered. “I was mugged before coming here…”

Kevin just gave him a look of astonishment and ran into the kitchen to call for our mother.

Dimitri just let himself in. At that point I had heard the commotion and promptly came down the stairs. I froze up, seeing Dimitri bleeding like that.

“Hi Safara!” He waved cheerfully to me.

My mother came rushing in and bombarded the boy with questions, giving him a towel for his nose and a wet rag for his eye.

Dimitri seemed oddly perky. Usually, he was emotionless, making him come across as bored or slightly annoyed with everything. However, now he seemed to have a hint of happiness in his demeanor. I won’t ever complain about Dimitri being actually happy for once, but it was so different from his normal self that it weirded me out.

My mother, brother and I gave him a lot of attention while trying to help his wounds heal. He just sat there and gave us a small smile. He was giggling randomly from time to time. He seemed to be really enjoying himself even thought nothing much was happening.

“So what happened to you, eh?” Kevin asked.

“Oh... I was walking over here from my house. I was taking the back roads to avoid the traffic.” He started to explain.

“Back roads? Traffic? You were walking! How could there be traffic?” Kevin interrupted.

“I don’t like the big streets with too many cars…” He snarled. “Anyways… I passed by an alley way when a sketchy little girl jumped in front of me. She said something about me needing to go somewhere with her to meet somebody and to learn “about the past.” But I didn’t want to be late so I “kindly explained” to her that I needed to be somewhere and she got “upset” with me. Then, she punched me in the face and walked off.”

“That’s… odd.” I interjected. “Are you ok though?”

“Well I’m here aren’t I?” He smiles brightly.

I was just more unnerved. This was too out of character for him… But I tried to ignore it.

Dimitri was popular with my family. My dad and him made jokes together. My brother and him ran off to play video games. (By the way, he sucks at gaming. I would haven’t guessed he’d be terrible…)

My mother approached me.

“Safara, you said he was off, but he doesn’t seem like it now.”

“I know but he’s never acted like this before. He’s usually cold and apathetic to everything.” I turned to face her. “He’s like emotionless all the time and the other kids at school say he’s crazy and talks to himself. I don’t get it! He’s the complete opposite to how he asks at school.”

My mother just stared at me for a moment. “Have you noticed that he was giggling at nothing earlier?”

“Yes?”

“He’s high.” She said with a really serious tone.

“WHAT?” I gasped.

“QUIET! It’s only a guess… But I’ve seen this behavior before. He doesn’t have any redness in the eyes, though… So I don’t know what it is that he’s on. Oh, but there's also other factors. Maybe at school, he’s just really depressed and outside of school he feels more free to open up?” She hypothesized.

“That can’t be it. When we went to the park, he was acting the same.” I argued.

“Well then.” She rolled her eyes. “We should let him get comfortable and then we can get our improv therapy session, but only if he cooperates.”

The night went on. Dimitri's enthusiasm diminished so much so during the night that he was back to his emotionless self when dinner came around. He was so quiet that my family ignored him for the whole supper. He was extremely shy. I tried to talk to him but he would only nod his head in response to anything.

After dinner, he and I went up to my room. I gave him a “grand tour” which mainly consisted of me showing him my stuff and him just listening. He was barely talking. I felt bad.

“Dimitri… are you ok?”

He just nodded meekly.

“It’s ok if you aren’t. Do you want to go home?” I asked him, sitting down on my bed.

Dimitri sat down next to me. I started getting nervous and my heart was beating fast. He was so close to me I could feel his body heat radiating.

“No… I like it here a lot. Your new house is very lovely, Safara.” He answered quietly.

My heart started pumping faster. I was my shot to convince him to talk to my mother. I had to ask him!

“So Dimitri…”

“Yes!?” He interrupted me suddenly.

“My mom is a psychologist and I know you have some problems… I was wondering if maybe you could talk to her and she could help you, like a therapy session. You wanna try it?”

He just blankly stared at me. His face was draining of blood and he was losing color.

“Yeah… but she won’t talk to you about it, right?”

“Oh no! That would be breaking the confidentiality rules! She won’t tell me anything. Even if I asked her, she’s very serious about her job.”

“Uh… ok. But not now…” He hesitated.

“Oh that's alright.” I leaned over to put my head on his shoulder.

I felt him shutter from the touch but he didn’t move away from it. He posed his head on mine and we sat like this for a while. It was peaceful and warm. I closed my eyes and held his hand. His palms were sweaty and he was trembling a bit.

“Do you mind?” I asked.

“No.” He answered.

“Good.” I held his hand tightly.

“I d-didn’t think this was a date.” He stammered.

“It’s not…”

“Then why are you doi- holdi- uh… UMM-”

“Sorry.” I back away and let go. “I’m just a huggy person. I hope you don’t mind.”

“I’m just…” he shivers a bit. “Not used to getting touched affectionately.”

“Oh Dimitri.” I giggled. “I don’t really consider this affection, I just think of hugs as casual things friends do.”

“Oh ok.” He replied.

We watched a little bit of TV, not saying much. After the episode ended, He got up and walked out. I thought he was going to the bathroom and he’d come back quickly but he never did.

After 20 minutes, I left the room and looked around.

Kevin was in the kitchen, sneaking cookies out of my parents’ secret spot for them.

“Hey bro, where’s Dimi?” I asked him, taking a cookie for myself.

“He’shh- wiff mom.” He said, mouth utterly stuffed with cookies.

“Thanks.” I put the cookies away and I went back to my room to wait for him.

I think Dimitri stayed there for 2 hours. I was watching the TV for a ridiculously long time. When he did come back, he looked drained.

“Sorry about that. I was expecting a little chat but I couldn’t shut myself up so I started ranting for a while.” He explained.

“Oh it’s ok. It is therapy.” I excused him.

He smiled and hugged me. I was taken aback but I held him tightly. I could feel his body. He was so frail and skinny under those clothes. It was calming for that half a second we that were close.

Then he left.

I felt so lonely with him gone.

But then I realized…

“SHIT! WE SHOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM A RIDE HOME!”

CHAPTER 5

Nothing changed much at school. Dimitri was his typical robot self. There is one thing that was very welcomed though… Dimitri seemed to be forcing himself to act more. He would talk with more hand gestures and smiles (but his smiles were very awkward looking because he was forcing them).

Dimitri also became really friendly with my family. He would come over once a week after his first session with my mother. She really liked talking to him.

Neither Dimitri or my mother told me what they would talk about, but I knew it was serious. She would walk around with her note book after the sessions and often times, she’d be the one to invite him over.

One day, I knew something was up. She sat me down to talk about him.

“Safara, what has he told you about his life?” She asked me with a sternness in her voice.

“Not much…” Then I repeated all that he told me.

“I see. He is trying to hide it…” She flipped through her notes. “I can’t tell you much, with out his consent, but Dimitri allowed me to tell you this yesterday.”

“Oh…” I could feel that what she was about to say really important.

She looked me dead in the eyes and straightened her glasses. “He’s been diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was 15 years old.”

A wave of shock zipped through my body. I was speechless.

“He has vivid hallucinations. Safara, that’s why he acts emotionless.” She told me.

“But what about when he comes here and acts all… alive?” I asked, completely baffled.

“That I don’t know.” She sighed. “But Safara, I want you to be extremely careful with him.”

“I am!”

“No… just…” She smiles at me. “Please keep being nice to him. You mean a lot to him.”

I blushed and nodded.

“That’s all I’m allowed to say. You should try to talk to him about his issues. He trusts you to keep these a secret, however. You got that, right?”

“Yes mother, I understand.” I got up to leave.

“Wait! I forgot to mention something.”

I sat back down.

“Would you mind if Dimitri lived with us?” She asked me.

My eyes widened. “You aren’t serious, are you?”

“I am. He has a bad home life, and I know that one of the only ways he can get better is by having a better family, so I asked him if could move in with us. It will be temporary, like maybe a few months or so.” She explained, justifying her decision. “I’ve already spoken to your father about this and he agrees. Dimitri wouldn’t be that huge of an addition to the family, we’d just need more food and that’s it.”

“Oh I don’t mind but don’t adopt him, ok? It would be weird to have a brother that looks so different from us.” I joked.

“Oh but that's what adoption is all about, sweetie! And he isn’t that different from us. I mean you are the most different of us all.” She touched my hair and poked my cheek, giggling the whole time.

This gesture really annoyed me. “...Thanks mom. But also, I just don’t want another brother. Kevin is enough of a brat as it is.”

“Dimitri’s a sweet young man” She said as she was getting up. “Anyways, I’m going to tell Kevin the news.”

I went back up to my room and I could hear my li'l bro wailing down stairs. He cried, “BUT THAT’S TOO MANY PEEEEOPLE!”. I snickered to myself.

CHAPTER 6

Dimitri came up to me at school the next day. He asked me if my mom told me the stuff and about the “news”.

“Oh. I’m so happy to be moving in with you.” He forced a smile but still sounded monotone.

“Me too! We’d get to hang out all the time!” I hugged him from excitement.

Dimitri grabbed me and spun around with me in his arms. He gently put me down. I looked up at him, confused but I saw a genuine smile on his face and my heart melted.

Dimitri being HAPPY is the cutest thing ever.

“Sorry. I’m just so excited.” He shook my hand for some reason. “I’ve just always wanted to leave home.”

“Oh… why?” I asked with concern.

“Well uh… Never mind!” He suddenly laughed awkwardly. “But yeah I’ll tell you in private. By the way, I’m sleeping in your basement.

“I’m really happy for you though.” I held his hand as we walked off to class. I didn’t care if the other students were watching. Dimitri seemingly lost his enthusiasm and got really quiet after that.

CHAPTER 7

Moving Dimitri into our basement wasn’t that hard and it didn’t take long. All he had was trash bags full of his clothes, a box that was full to the brim, labelled “parts”, and a mattress he used as a bed. All we did was put his stuff down and he organized it by himself.

Two hours later, he went up to my room. “Want a room tour, Saf?”

“Sure!” I went down the stairs alongside him.

His bed was just a mattress on the floor with a pillow and blanket. There was a desk that was particularly lacking the normal desk-clutter, and a simple wooden chair. My parents emptied out a shelf and he put his clothes there. There were no doors on the shelf so I could see his shirts, pants, and (Oh my gosh!) boxers! (Is it pervert to stare at a guy’s underpants??? It made me super uncomfortable to see those!)

Dimitri’s box of parts was untouched in the corner. All in all, the room was pretty small but it still had looked like he barely filled it. I walked over to his box and pointed at it.

“Need help unpacking this?” I asked.

“Oh!” He stared. “No. Don’t touch that, it’s fragile.”

“Ok, sorry.” I said. “So how do you like your new crib?”

“Super cool. I never really cared for the decorations, as long as it’s warm and I can eat and sleep, I’ll be fine.”

“Neat. So what now?” I asked.

He scratched his chin and looked up. “I don’t know. Want to watch a movie?”

“Sure! I just got a new horror movie from the store. I think it’s a slasher flick of something. I got it for my brother but he was too scared to watch it. I’m not a fan of those movies but I liked to get scared every once in a while. What do ya' say?”

He just went flush red and became really quiet. “Oh uh…” He scratched the back of his head. “Um… Ok.”

“What? You don’t like horror?” I asked, seeing how uncomfortable he was.

“N- I do like that. Let’s watch it.” His smile was meant to reassure me but it was so obvious it was forced.

So we went to my room to watch the movie. I really embarrassed with how much I yelped at each jump scare. Oh, and how I needed to cover my eyes during the violent scenes! Though, Dimitri barely had reaction. He was blushing from ear to ear and biting his lower lip. He would flinch during the fight scenes but, yeah. That was it. I thought he would be judging me for being a wimp! But half way through he got up and left, so I finished without him.

A hour later, I went downstairs to his room. I knocked on the door and he yelled. “It’s unlocked.” I walked in to see him fiddling around with metallic parts and tools. I approached cautiously.

“What are you doing?” I questioned, tilting my head to the side.

“Tinkering.” He replied expressionlessly.

I watched him open up the box to pull a toy robot he was going to disassemble. He leaned over to take a screw driver and started to remove pieces from the toy.

I leaned over to get a closer look. “Why are you breaking it?”

“I’m not breaking it.” He replied calmly. “I’m taking it apart… and rebuilding it.”

“Oh, why?”

“Well, it helps me understand how it’s made and the techniques they used.”

“Oh that sounds neat. You like making robots?” I asked him, overly interested in what he was doing.

I sat down next to him. He just looked at me and said nothing. I think he was confused but yet again, he had no emotion. Just his regular expressionless glare. His eyes felt like they were piercing deep into my soul… those glass-like, grayish-blue eyes. They creeped me out.

“Tell me about your robots, Dimitrius.” I muttered. “I’m curious…”

He raised an eye brow for a second but then went back to tinkering.

“So I like making stuff with my hands… Though, I have a whole system for it.” he paused and looked at me again. “You don’t mind me rambling?”

“Oh, Dimitri...you barely talk. I like your voice! Go ahead.” I encouraged him to go on.

“So uh…” he forced a smile. It was so cute. “I like making my own custom robots for tournaments and stuff, but I’m not that good at making my own parts, so I take them from other bots that I buy.”

I listened, completely fascinated in it. His voice was monotone and boring but he sounded calm. As he went on, there was a hint of happiness with him being able to talk about his passion.

“I take them apart then I rebuild them.” He continued. “...W-with out instruction manuals. The point is to know the purpose of all the parts, where they go, and how they work. I repeat breaking them down and building them back up again until I know the bots perfectly.”

“Is it time consuming?” I tilted my head and picked up one of his tools.

“It is but it depends on how complex the model is. Though, once I understand the bot perfectly, I can take its pieces and use them to make my own bot… or if I like the robot, I mod them to make them more efficient or stronger. Whatever I feel like doing to it, basically.” He took the piece from my hand. “This is a screw driver….”

“Oh my god! You think I didn’t know what a screw driver was!” I laughed at him but I stopped when I saw that he looked nervous.

“Sorry, Dimitri. I like what you do with the robots. It’s really cool.”

“Thank you…” He replied timidly.

Suddenly the door opened, and someone appeared from the newly escaping light. Dad. He sternly yelled, “SAFARA! IT’S BED TIME.”

I called back to him, "I'M COMING, ONE SECOND!". I gave Dimitri a hug.

“Good night, Dimi!”, I said as I was running up the stairs.

Dimitri just stares at dad, mouth agape. His cheeks were the reddest I've ever seen. “Y-you too, angel…” He stammered and muttered.

SIDE CHAPTER 1

-MONSTERS-

A woman paced around the room and stopped in front of a mirror hung up on the wall, putting on a pearl necklace. She grabbed a comb and brushed over the bangs of her long, silky, brown hair. She was very tall and slim. Like a stick, she adorned barely any curves. As she stared at herself in the mirror, she smiled. She was all dressed up in all of her best clothes.

A man walked into her room. He was smiling. Wearing a suit with a green tie, matching with the color of his eyes. He was giving a piggy back ride to his son, a cute little boy with short blond hair.

The woman walked up to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Are you two ready to go to church?”, she asked with her sing song voice.

“Of course.”, the man replied with a wink and smile. “How’s his outfit?”

The lady examined her son’s clothing then she nodded.

“Yes, it’s good.” She walked out. “Come along now! We don’t want to be late for our lord.”

Behind her back, the man rolled his eyes and put his son down. Once on the ground, the toddler stumbled toward the front door.

The car ride over to the church was pretty uneventful. The little boy wasn’t listening to his parents bickering in the front, he was fascinated by the trees rolling by, yet the clouds being seemingly suspended and frozen in the sky. He held out his hands and tried to grab the birds, freely flying across the beautiful blue sky.

Once inside the church, the little boy held his mother’s hand and followed her. The outside of the church was colossal and grand. It towered over the little boy. A statue stood over the entrance. It was of winged humans saving Earth's people from certain doom while the rest had already met their demise. They all wore faces filled with utter terror, as they were burning and being eaten by horrifying monsters. Each time the boy saw this statue, he’d start to cry and his parents would scold him for it. This time would be different! He put on his brave face and stared down the statue as he walked in, but he held back the tears. His mother and father didn’t notice.

Once inside, he thought he was going to have an easier time, but he had forgotten that inside there were monsters here too. Big paintings of the monsters were hung on the walls. Luckily, they were much less scary than the statue.

They sat down and listened to a man in a robe speak. The boy was so bored that he fell asleep, lying his head down on his father’s lap. Each time they needed to stand or sing songs, his mother would elbow him really hard in the shoulder to wake him up. It always happened like this. He’s come home with bruise on his shoulder and it didn’t matter where he sat, his parents forced him to sit in the middle of them so that they could watch his behavior better. He was used to it by now, but sometimes he’d cry on the way back home. He wasn’t allowed to cry at church, people would stare.

He was ecstatic it when they sang the songs, though. He loved to sing. He'd yell out the lyrics of the hymns as loud as he could so he could drown out all the other voices. It was the point of the game for him.

Eventually, his mother took his hand and walked up to the display area. He was confused, they only let people walk up there to get the bread and wine. He wasn’t allowed to go up there because he didn’t have his First Holy Communion yet…

She picked up him in her arms. He was heavy since he wasn’t exactly her little baby anymore, but she could still manage. While in her arms, he stared back at the crowd. Everybody was staring at him and her. He felt a pressure build up in his chest and he wanted to run but he couldn’t. She was holding on too tightly.

He stared up at the wall that was behind the crowd, it had a massive painting of a winged human with a shiny circle around their head. They were impaling a red monster with big horns and a tail. It was like the statue but, much more scary and gruesome!

He felt tears welling up in his eyes and he squirmed to get away. Suddenly, his mom lowered him and submerged his head under water. The few seconds he spent under there felt like an hour, but he was soon pulled out.

He coughed violently for a while after. The pastor gave him a speech he could barely hear or focus on.

The car ride home was terrible. He was so scared of the monsters and confused by the water. He sobbed quietly, trying not to bother his parents who were still bickering to each other.

CHAPTER 8

Dimitri became accustomed to living with us after 3 weeks of residing here. However, he was really weird about being seen with me outside of the house. I took the bus to school but he’d still walk there. When he did take the bus, he would avoid me like the plague and get off at completely random stops.

It was obvious that he was paranoid. Constantly looking over his shoulder, keeping a distance from people when he could, and when he had to be around people, he had his hood up and ignored everyone. Being invisible was his goal. I hated it.

He was hiding something from me.

Thursday night, after school. Dimitri went to the basement and I went to my room. I was finishing up my homework when I got stumped by a math problem. I went down to see him, hoping he could help me out.

I slowly crept down the stairs to his room. I caught him at his desk working on robots and wearing glasses. I rarely ever see him wear them, but I really liked them. It made him look so sophisticated and intelligent. He was already really smart, but it made him look the part too.

He looked up at me as I got closer.

“What’s up, angel girl?” He asked.

I giggled. “Oh, why do you keep calling me that?”

“Because you are an angel.” He smiled.

My heart melted. Usually, he was so robotic in his actions and speech but it was so cute to see him smile with out forcing it.

I pulled up a chair and sat next to him. I asked him for help with the homework and he effortlessly solved it, and then taught me the process step-by-step. He was much more help than the teacher was. After we solved that one, we just kept going through all of the other questions I didn't get.

After that was done, I didn’t want to leave him just yet. I liked his company.

“Hey Dimitri… Thank you.” I hugged him.

He didn’t say anything, he just gave me a small smile and nodded. He put his arms around me and I felt his heart beating fast in his chest. I let go of him after a few seconds.

“I was wondering though…” I began to explain to him that I thought weird to be so paranoid out in public and I was wondering why he acted that way.

He was visibly nervous, he started tapping his fingers on the desk and darting his eyes around.

“I can’t tell you… It’s better if people don’t see us hanging out in public… I tried to get you to avoid me at school but you didn’t get the message so I gave up.”

“But why?” I asked, confused as ever.

“You’ll throw me out of the house if you knew- He paused. ...You’d hate me…Oh, Safara.. I’m so sorry.” He was expressionless but hints of remorse were seeping in.

“Dimitri… You can tell me anything. I won’t ever hate you.” I put my hand on his shoulder.

He sighed. “Safara. I’m targeted. I’m dangerous. Being around me might make you targeted too. I don’t want you to be hurt, so I try to avoid you and others in public.”

“I-I'm not following. Can you explain more?"

He bowed his head in shame. “I’m the son of Tony Drey. Remember the story I told you at the park? It was about him.”

I gasped. “You’re father was a mob boss?!”

He nodded. “Yeah… He did terrible things… He’s infamous throughout this entire city. His claim to fame was being elected to office as representative of this district of the city. He was passing laws that corrupt the governmental system. He was a well known anarchist and his plan was to dismantle all government. Though, he did much, much, more before that.

He did pretty much everything. Prostitution, drug dealing, robbery, scamming, and yes… he murdered people. He didn't do it himself, though… At least I don’t think he did.

It’s complicated. Basically, he was the leader of his own gang, but it was well organized, so calling it a gang would be an insult. It was a full blown mafia and criminal organization. Everything was run by him and he had loyal followers.

Then he was caught… Put on trial and sent to jail. That's when a woman came out saying that they were seduced by him and had his kids. My mother was devastated but whatever, fuck her.” He said the last part with hatred staining his words.

“Anyways, he was imprisoned and put on death row. He’s still there. He has to serve his 20 year term before he does.” He continued on. “And you’d think my troubles and there but they don’t. That fucker and I look the same!”

I pulled out my phone and quickly googled Tony Drey and I found his mug shot. What stunned me the most is that Dimitri was completely right. They were very similar, but there were some obvious differences too. Tony had green eyes, opposed to Dimitri’s blue, with dark black hair that was beginning to turn white, Dimitri’s was brown. Their haircuts were different, Dimitri’s was longer and a lot messier. Not to mention his dad had stubble and, well, Dimitri was lacking there.

“Yeah… He sure does look like you. Family resemblance…” ////*********************/////

“Exactly. But yeah my looks cause a lot of problems… You see, his followers want me to take his place because that his “official” son would be the heir to the throne and It pisses me off. I don’t want to be that. I want to be a police officer to put sickos like him

in prison where they belong. But not only do I have weirdos forcing me to give them orders, but I also have other people trying to kidnap me for ransom, and some who just want to kill me. So ya know the bruises and cuts on my body when you see me at school?”

I nodded weakly.

“That’s them starting fights with him and I need to protect myself. I fight back. That’s why I can’t have anybody hand out with me ever. But…” He avoided eye contact with me. “It’s so lonely isolating yourself from every one… I longed for somebody to confide in and you came to me. I wanted you to go but I wanted you there with me. It was a guilty pleasure to have you around.” He blushed a little. “I really appreciated our little chats, but I was so shy I could barely talk to you… and now I’m living with you. It’s a dream come true to have a friend like you with me Safara.”

“Oh Dimitri… That’s so sweet.” I was so touched. I was smiling and blushing hard.

“But yeah… I couldn’t bare to see my angel get hurt. You can’t be with t school or in public. I think people are watching me… And once they find out we’re friends they’ll try to hut you so they can hurt me. People are cruel, Safara, they’d attack you even if you are innocent.”

“But Dimitri, you can’t just let them rule over your life like this. You should call the police and get on the witness protection program!”

“You think I haven’t tried that? The cops in this city don’t care. This district is so corrupt, nobody cares about anything you do. That’s how my dad got into power, that’s why the crime rate is so high here.” He rolled his eyes.

“What if I helped?” I shot up the idea suddenly.

“And how would you do that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Dimitri, what if I could fight along side you? You can’t fight them alone. They’ll over power you someday.” I held his hand in mine and squeezed it. “You said you didn’t want me to get hurt, well, I don’t want you to get hurt or killed either. I want to protect you…”

He was speechless for a moment. He was touched by it obviously because his whole face turned red and he didn’t look at me in the eyes for the rest of the conversation.

“I can’t let you fight for me… If you get hurt, it’s my fault. But… I like the idea.”

“You could train me how to fight! I took karate classes as a kid and self defense!” I pleaded with him.

“I can’t teach you but I can bring you to the guy who taught me… But Safara, this is serious. You sure about it? It’s painful and it will take a lot of time for you to get good.” He explained with a dead pan tone.

“I want to be there for you Dimitri.”

I sealed myself to him in that moment and from then on, we were stuck together.

I was his and he was mine. I was naive. I saw a troubled young man who’d lived a hard life and I just wanted to save him. He called me his angel, and I felt the burden of living up to that title. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I wasn’t ready but I didn’t care. I was there to help. That’s what I thought I was doing.

Little did I know then, but the time Dimitrius and I would spend together would be the worst years of my life because from that day forward, I was brought into his suffering and I would not drown and suffocate in it until out mission was over.

That was the day I became an honorary mafia kid.

SIDE CHAPTER 2

-CRYING-

His mother stopped giving him attention. He’d come home to the sound of weeping or sobbing. At first he didn’t understand. He thought that once people reached adulthood, they stopped crying. He was hoping that would the case for him at least.

He knocked on on his mother’s bed room door. She ignored him, the crying just got louder, so he let himself in.

“Mommy, why are sad?” He whined as he walked over to her.

She was hunched over on the bed, pulling out her hair. She turned to look at him. Her face was so ugly when she cried. Tears staining her pillow and her face showing all the pain she feels inside. The little took a few steps back, frightened by his own mother’s appearance. Gestured to him to come closer. He hesitated but he did so. He sat next to her on the bed and he hugged and caressed his dirty blond hair.

“Dimitrius… Sometimes adults get sad too. Everybody has a different way of coping with sadness.” She explained.

“What’s coping?” He asked.

“Everybody is different and everybody needs to take of themselves.” She brushed off his question. “Mommy needs alone time, dearest.” She kisses him on the forehead.

He got off the bed. “So you want me to leave you alone?”

“Yes dear… I’ll come out and tell you when I feel better, ok?”

“Oh… Ok mommy!” He said as left the room, closing the door behind.

He waited for her to get better.

She never did.

CHAPTER 9

Dimitri Brought me to see one of his dad’s followers. The man was a huge muscular black guy named “Mufa” but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t his real name because he greeted Dimitrius by called him “Damien” instead. Also, he told me that I wasn’t allowed my real name on the streets. I had difficulty coming up with a new name for myself but Dimitrius comforted me and said it was ok for me to take time to think it over. I eventually settled with “Sophia”.

The first time was just basic training for fighting. It was pretty fun. On the way home after it, Dimitri was acting all nervous.

“Hey, um, are you sure about this? You really wanna go back to training?” He asked.

“Yes! Let’s go back twice a week, ok?” I set up our routine and Dimitri just nodded.

That’s what we did together from then on. School, hanging out and training with Mufa. It was so difficult for a while. My body ached but Dimitri was so supportive and he cheered me on. He was always there watching me from the side lines.

One day, we were walking to the candy store after the training when suddenly, a man hit Dimitri in the back with an empty bottle of wine. I jumped when I heard the hard “THUD” and Dimitri’s sharp gasp. It was happening! My first fight. Dimitri coughed and turned around. It was the bottle brothers.

Mufa had mentioned that the bottle brothers were two men from the opposing gang. They used bottles of wine as their weapons, they duel wielded them, using them as basic melee weapon.

The man swung at Dimitri again but this time, he took a step back and got out of the way. I was shaking, distancing myself from them. They ganged up on him. I was so helpless, watching them battering Dimitri.

He got a chance to grab the bottle out of one of their hands and he smashed it on the other brother’s head. I screamed as the bottle shattered in half. He fell to the floor, blood pooling all over with shards of glass all over the ground. This brutality shocked the brother and he froze watching his partner fall to the ground: that was his fatal mistake. Dimitri spun around with the broken bottle griped firmly in his hand and stabbed him in the stomach with the sharp broken part of the bottle.

I couldn’t stand it anymore. I ran off and headed towards the park. Once there, I stopped to take a second to breath. Suddenly, my face was in the dirty. It happened so fast I couldn’t even scream.

“OHMYGODSAFARAAREYOUOK?” Dimitri spoke so fast in panic as he grabbed me by the waist and picked me up.

I was violent yanked off the the ground and held tenderly in his arms. He was trembling as he wiped the dirt off of my face.

I was stunned. I opened my eyes and I could see him, but it was blurry. It took me a few seconds for his anxious face to come into focus.

He swallowed some of his anxiety and held me tighter. “Are you ok? I d-didn’t mean to run into you.”

“Uh-huh.” I nodded slowly. The motion of my head bopping like that made me dizzy.

“Y-you started running after I was done with those guys.” He said.

“No. I’m ok.” I tried talking but it came out raspy and quiet. “I was just scared.”

He nodded and lifted me up. He threw me up into the air and I fell on my back into his arms.

He forced a reassuring smile. “I dealt with them. Let’s go home.”

He walks out of the park carrying me around bridal style. I was really confused by this but my head to much for me to question it.

As we walked home, people stared at us. They gave us weird looks. I glared back at them. Dimitri was doing something nice and people were staring at him like he was kidnapping me. I looked up at his face. He had no emotion on his face. I wasn’t sure if he was noticing it too and didn’t care or if he was oblivious.

I put my arm around his shoulders and hugged him for the rest of the walk.

“Dimitrius…”

“Don’t call me that.” He glared down at me.

“Sorry. My mom once told me you have schizophrenia.” I said.

“Oh? What else did she say?”

“You were diagnosed with it when you were 15.” I curled up to him. “That’s all I know.”

“Oh. Well what about it?” He sounded almost offended, but with him, any tone he has in his voice is best to be left ignored. He always sounds like a robot or a chronically annoyed mumbling teen age boy.

“You hallucinate. Mom said that… Do you hear voices?”

“Um.. Not exactly. Sometimes what people say to me gets mixed up, I mean, they’ll say something and I’ll hear the words out of orders.” He explained.

“What’s it like being schizophrenic?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I’ve had it for such a long time that I’ve gotten used to it.” He replied.

“Oh but what do you hallucinate?”

“Well I can’t tell you that.” He forced a small laugh. It was cute. “You’d think I’m crazy.”

“I’m curious though and I won’t judge you.” I reassured him.

He gave me a cautious look, like he was unsure. I gave him puppy dog eyes and that convinced him. He stoped walked and pointed at a group of men.

“Well, right there, there are 3 demons talking to each other.” He said.

“Demons? There 3 guys.”

“They are all black and shadowy. They have arrow shaped tails and big horns. Their eyes and mouths are like light poking through the darkness.” He described as he continued walking.

“So… You seem demons.”

“Yep. Every stranger is a demon to me.”

“Was I a demon when we met?” I asked, kneading my fingers in his hoodie.

“Yes.” He looked down at me. “But you turned into an angel as we got to know each other.”

“Wait what? I’m an angel?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Well aren’t you?” He said with concern.

“I’m a human, Dimitri.”

“B-but you have wings and a halo, you’re so beautiful and shiny… you’re an angel.”

My heart fell into my stomach but I also felt the butterflies fly around in there too. I didn’t know if Dimitri think this about me would be dangerous or if I should be flattered.

“Do you really see me like this?” I asked trying not to sound nervous.

“Yeah. All the time.”

“Hey Dimitri, do you know that your hallucinations aren’t real, right?”

He glared at me. No filter, no held back emotions, he looked actually angry. For real.

“You can walk.” He said and dropped me at on the ground.

I fell down right on my butt. He stepped aside and walked away. It really hurt but seeing him leave me hurt more. I jumped up and I was about to yell at him but I stoped. I lowered my fist.

I remember what my mother said to me. To be careful with him.

Schizophrenics can be really dangerous if you don’t treat them right…

I cocked my head to the side and grinned. Just trying to push it aside. I walked up to him.

“I wonder what it’s like to see how you see the world… It must be interesting.” I said cheerfully, but I was trying not to punch him with all my might.

He looked up. “I could show you, but it’s a little risky.”

I snapped out of my anger and stared at him in confusion. “Wait… How?”

“I did it once before, but if we do it, you need to follow my instructions very carefully.”

“what do we have to do to achieve it?”

“Well, it’s like a ritual… It helped you see inside of the other person’s head. You drink some water in a dark room and the person who want to share their mind has to describe everything to the other person.” He paused for a second and stared at me. “It relies on imagination.”

“Oh… so it’s not actually going into somebody’s mind?” He smirked “No that’s scientifically impossible, but this ritual is as close to it as it gets. Do you want to try it?”

“Sure, why not?” I shrugged.

“Ok! I’m gonna run off to the store and buy some candles. Go home with out me, ok?” He said as he ran off.

“Dimitri! Wait!” I called out to him but he was already gone.

[everwitch-magiks]

dance with somebody (ch. 16)

start from ch. 1 | back to ch. 15

When Dex steps into Chowder’s bedroom, his single knock on the open door no more than a nostalgic habit, these days, as opposed to a present requirement, he’s certainly not expecting to be faced with, well. With this.

“What’re you doing?”

Chowder looks up. He’s sitting cross-legged on the floor with a myriad of different colored post-it notes spread out around him. Dex crouches down, picking up a couple of the notes (yellow and pink, respectively) to skim through their contents. Louis, helped solve Halloween cupcake disaster, 2 points. Hops, volunteered to do dishes entire week, 6 points.

Dex raises both eyebrows towards Chowder. Chowder, meanwhile, is staring down at the colorful mess surrounding him with a decidedly troubled expression. He sighs.

“I’m figuring out my dibs.”

“With a points system?” Dex prompts. He’s not sure if he’s impressed or concerned. “Looks ambitious.”

“I just don’t want anyone to think that I’m being unfair,” Chowder explains glumly. He picks up a green post-it (Jader, gave up half his vanilla scone at breakfast, 1 point) and stares at it dejectedly. “Or that I don’t care about them. Oh no, what if I pick Jader, and then Joyo inevitably assumes that I hate him? I could never do that to Joyo."

“Dude,” Dex says. He’s trying very hard not to smile. “You don’t have to make a decision yet, you know? It’s not even Christmas.”

Chowder frowns.

“It's almost Christmas.”

“I suppose,” Dex agrees carefully. “Are you sure this isn’t just some big procrastination project? Got any big finals looming, hm?”

“Finals,” Chowder scoffs. “Are finals really more important than the precious feelings of our hardworking underclassmen?”

“Oh my God. What’s all this?”

Nursey strolls into the room without knocking. He places a kiss on top of Dex’s head and then plops himself down between Dex and Chowder, his hand lingering softly at Dex’s nape.

“Chowder is having a bit of a dibs crisis,” Dex fills him in.

“Oh, man. Hard same.” Nursey frowns. “I was dead set on giving mine to Ford. Of course Ollie and Wicks had to go and snag her, first.”

“She and Tango seem pretty happy up in the attic, though,” Dex points out. "And this way, you get to be hausmates with both of them this year."

“I suppose that's true," Nursey allows. Then he shrugs. "And I guess I’ve still got Louis. He’s let me borrow his good bluetooth speakers basically this whole semester, so. Might be an option."

“What?” Chowder exclaims. “No, wait, I might pick Louis. You two couldn't maybe give me some time to figure this out, before you stake your claims?"

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works, C,” Dex tells him gently.

“That’s definitely not how it works,” Nursey agrees, his grin playful yet his tone kind. “If there’s someone you have in mind, Chow, you should just go for it. You snooze, you lose."

Chowder whips his head around, aiming his wide, pleading eyes at Dex.

“You’re not considering Louis, too, are you?”

“Honestly? I wish I was considering anyone.” Dex sighs. “I would’ve gone with Whiskey, but obviously that’s out, and I feel like the Waffles have gotten this strange aversion to doing any of those dibs type favors for me since I became captain. I think they don’t want to act like they’re sucking up for the wrong reasons, or something.”

“Maybe give them some proper incentive?” Nursey suggests merrily. “If word got out that you’re, like, completely undecided about dibs, I’m sure both the Waffles and the Scones would be falling all over themselves to please you. Might be fun to watch.”

“Nah. I’ll figure it out eventually.” Dex shrugs. “Graduation is still really far away. I’m not gonna worry about it, yet.”

“It’s not that far away,” Chowder disagrees. He sounds serious. “Guys, it’s almost Christmas. That means we're graduating in less than six months.”

Dex very nearly flinches. Six months? How is that even possible?

“That can’t be right,” Nursey says slowly. His expression has turned uncharacteristically unchill. “Fuck. Why haven’t I applied to more grad programs, yet?”

“I need to start looking at job listings more seriously,” Chowder chimes in. He's looking down at his post-its with an expression that’s unusually difficult to read. “I guess I can't put it off forever."

“Hey,” Dex says. He’s trying his best to sound reasonable, despite his own inner turmoil. Suddenly, the feeling of Nursey’s hand that’s still resting at his nape seems more important than ever. “It’s not over yet. We’ve still got a whole semester.”

“Yeah,” Nursey says quickly. “Yeah, you’re right. And even after, it’s not like you guys are ever gonna be rid of me. Got your backs, remember?”

“That's true,” Chowder agrees quietly. He’s not smiling, Dex notes with no small amount of concern. Especially considering the fact that Chowder kind of hasn't smiled at all since the start of this conversation. His whole expression looks wrong, somehow, without that familiar spark of effortless joy. “It’s all happening so fast. I wish everything could slow down, just a bit.”

“We’re just gonna have to make every moment count,” Dex says firmly. Impulsively, he reaches for Chowder’s shoulder. “We’re here for you, man. You know that, right? We're always gonna look out for each other. Always."

“Of course. Yeah, of course.” Thankfully, that seems to do the trick – Chowders lips curl into a soft grin. "Ugh. I think I'm just gonna go through my notes for that UX design final one more time. Can't be more stressful than trying to choose a single Waffle for dibs."

"Or a Scone," Nursey reminds him brightly. "There's some good freshies, too, let's not forget."

"Says you, who's got your eye on Louis, too," Chowder points out with an amused roll of his eyes. "I may be panicking, Nurse, but I'm certainly not stupid."

"Ah, and here though myself completely subtle." Nursey grins. "Weren't you gonna study?"

"Actually, yes." Chowder gets to his feet, only to immediately pause. He narrows his eyes towards Nursey. "But if you lock down Louis while I'm stuck cramming user interface design techniques, you can expect some serious payback."

"Chill, man." Nursey's grin softens. "Look, I haven't actually decided on Louis yet, but if it would make you feel better we could have some sort of dibs treaty until the end of finals week. After that, it's anyone's game. Sounds good?"

"I suppose that’s fair." Chowder nods, and Dex is relieved to see the genuine smile he offers in return. "I think I left my books downstairs, so. See you guys later."

He pads out of his room, leaving Dex and Nursey alone in the sea of post-its.

Immediately, Nursey scoots a little closer to Dex.

"Just us, huh," he remarks, his tone a clear attempt at casual even though his smile indicates otherwise. "D'you wanna get lunch, or something?"

Dex hesitates.

"I've actually got some things I need to work on," he says carefully. "Could we maybe meet up later?"

"Sure. Of course." Nursey's response comes just a little bit too quickly. "That's chill, man. Whatever you need."

Dex studies his boyfriend's expression for a moment. It's been a concern of his, ever since he started setting aside time to work on his secret project, that Nursey might eventually start to realise there's something Dex isn't telling him. Dex has been monitoring carefully for any sign of doubt or confusion on Nursey's end, and this is the first time he thinks he's seeing exactly that in the subtle frown that's replaced Nursey's relaxed smile from a moment earlier. Obviously, it's the opposite of what Dex hopes to achieve with his secrecy.

Thankfully, the solution is very simple.

"Hey," Dex says quietly. "It's for you."

Nursey looks puzzled.

"I'm doing something for you," Dex clarifies. "That's why I've been a little busy, lately. It's going to be a surprise."

"Oh," Nursey says. He sounds surprised, already. "You're… Huh. What is it?"

Dex grins softly.

"A surprise. Duh."

Nursey raises a curious eyebrow.

"Don't I get a hint?"

"You really don't understand the concept of a surprise, do you?"

"Fine. Be that way." Nursey smiles a little excitedly, and Dex relaxes a bit. "I suppose I'll see you at dinner, then? The guys all want to go to Jerrys.”

"Actually, can we do dinner just you and me?" Dex asks quickly. "There's been so much team stuff, lately, and I've honestly kind of missed us. Tonight, I want to just... Order in. Preferably from someplace that makes a mean garlic bread. And after, we should put on Netflix and get in bed so I can cuddle you while you rant about the dubious plot changes in another one of those Austen adaptations."

Nursey blinks. For some reason, he's staring at Dex with a serious look in his eyes, one that's only vaguely familiar.

"What?" Dex asks, a little self-consciously. Was it something he said? “You like those period dramas. Don’t you?”

Nursey drops his gaze. He takes Dex's hands in his and holds them gently, almost like they're something delicate, like Dex is someone precious and worthy of protection.

"You're in love with me," he says quietly. "Aren't you?"

Oh, shit.

It's true, is the thing. And honestly, Nursey can’t have been unaware of it up until this moment. Really, he must have known. Dex might never have said it in so many words, and they’ve technically only dated for a few months, but it’s not like either of them are blind to the fact that they were dancing around this thing between them for several years, before. That goodnight kiss out on the porch at the very first kegster of the fall was never the beginning.

Dex briefly considers making some sort of joke to downplay this moment, if only to stop Nursey from being completely obnoxious about it in a minute or so. Except, the heavy look in Nursey’s eyes compels him to make a different choice.

"Yeah," Dex says, almost steadily. "I am in love with you. Quite hopelessly, actually."

Nursey’s breath hitches. He squeezes Dex hands tightly, and then he’s leaning over, capturing Dex’s lips in a fiercely desperate kiss that leaves Dex completely breathless. And if Dex didn’t feel it so completely, just then, in every achingly delicate touch of Nursey’s fingers against his cheek, his throat, all the way down his chest, he might’ve been a bit anxious about the fact that, technically, Nursey didn’t actually say it back.

As it is, Dex isn’t worried. If anything, he’s amused.

“You’re welcome,” he chirps gently after they break apart. “I guess I should be thankful you didn’t just tell me to chill, or whatever.”

“Fuck you, man,” Nursey breathes out, his voice breaking in a way Dex didn’t expect at all. “Also, just, shut up, okay? You already know that I’m writing literal fucking poetry about you, about your freckles and your eyes and your hips and your smile and your stupid fucking lips, okay. I’d like to think you’ve been able to safely assume that I’m more than casually into you.”

“I’d like to think that’s the impression I’ve given you, too,” Dex says slowly. He feels a little confused. Suddenly, he’s tempted to drag Nursey across campus to the wood workshop and just show him, right now, to expose everything that he’s dreaming and hoping and wishing. “Nursey. Hey, Nurse. Look at me.”

“No, you’re right.” Nursey takes a breath. He meets Dex’s eyes with a watery smile. “I don’t know, man. It just hits differently, when you say it out loud. Feels more real. It’s like you spoke it into existence.”

“Maybe something for your next poem,” Dex teases gently. This moment feels too fragile, somehow. He racks his brain for some way to break the tension. “Did you ever read me the one about my hips?”

“Um.” Quickly, Nursey looks away, his smile suddenly more of a bashful grin. Bingo. “Did I mention that one, just now?”

“You did.” Dex grins, too, taking in Nursey’s clearly flustered expression with interest. Oh, this is gonna be good. “Tonight, okay? Read it to me, tonight.”

“I don’t… It’s not my most coherent work, probably.” Nursey clears his throat, and Dex grins a little wider. It’s not often that he manages to make Nursey this unsettled. “I mean, I’ll see if I can find it.”

“Suppose I’ll just have to inspire a new one, if you don’t,” Dex suggests slyly.

“Actually,” Nursey breathes out, already moving to climb into Dex’s lap. “That sounds-”

“Oh my God!” Chowder exclaims from the still open door. “We’ve been over this! You both have your own rooms, okay, you’ve literally got zero excuses for getting your freak on right in the middle of-”

Dex presses his lips briefly against Nursey’s before scrambling to his feet, quickly slipping past Chow into the hallway.

“Sorry, Chowder!” he calls out over his shoulder as he takes the stairs two steps at a time. “Love you, Nurse! Bye!”

“That’s a fine, isn’t it?” Pips calls from the living room as Dex practically sprints past. “Hey, wait! Major fine! Pay the fuck up!”

Dex let’s the door to the Haus fall shut behind him. As he makes the now familiar trek across campus, he doesn’t stop smiling for a single moment.

ch. 17

[365days365movies]

January 14, 2021: GoldenEye (1995) (Part 1)

He’s suave. He’s sophisticated. He’s spy. He’s...

The late, great Sean Connery. 

Ignoring the less then savory aspects of his personality (AKA the Barbara Walters interview...both of them), Connery is undoubtedly the most famous Scottish actor of all time. Sorry, Whovians, I love David Tennant, too. But Connery’s got him beat. He’s been in so many iconic films and roles, his influence is undeniable. But most famous of all is his turn as Agent 007, the man himself, James Bond.

I’ve seen all of Connery’s original Bond films (not counting Never Say Never Again), and my favorite is Goldfinger, in case you were wondering. But outside of that...I haven’t seen any Bond movies. Since him, the character’s been played by David Niven, George Lazenby (now THAT’S an interesting story, lemme tell you), Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, and the two I’ll be looking at this month: Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig.

I’ll be looking at Brosnan tomorrow, in Casino Royale. But today, I’m looking at arguably the third most-famous Bond, Pierce Brosnan, in one of the most famous modern Bond movies, GoldenEye.

Also, yeah, never played the game I KNOW IT WAS A ‘90S CLASSIC I WASN’T ALLOWED TO HAVE VIDEO GAMES. 

So, what to expect from a Bond film? Well, I’ve got a checklist here, hold on...HERE we go:

Gadgets

Girls

Good-for-Nothings

...Good music?

I’m feeling a little alliterative of late. But, yeah, looking for the Bond Girl, looking for cool gadgets, looking for dastardly villains, and listening for the theme song for the film. Got my list set, and expectations are set to Connery levels. Let’s do this, shall we?

Recap

We start at a dam in Russia. Bond James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) is infiltrating the dam, and we get our gadgets checked off right away, as he whips out an acetylene torch. He barges in on a guy in the bathroom (rude, and awkward), then meets up with Alec, AKA Agent 006 (Sean “he dies, he’s the villain, or he’s the villain who dies” Bean).

Yeah, calling it now, Alec here’s gonna die, or he’s the villain, or he’s the villain who’s gonna die. It’s Sean Bean. More importantly, it’s Sean Bean in the ‘90s. There are very few options for him. Anyway, the Russians try to stop them from blowing up the plant, and...well, Alec’s being held hostage. Yyyyyyup. And he gets shot?

I don’t know how...but I’m betting that he’s still the villain. He’s Sean Bean. C’mon. He doesn’t die this early in a movie.

The unambiguously evil Russian general (hey, the Cold War just ended) almost get Bond, but he escapes in typical Bond fashion. They chase after him, and Bond chases an airplane. How, do you ask? I WILL FUCKING SHOW YOU HOW.

WHAT??? WHAT??? Physics just broke, and Issac Newton just tunneled to China. And then the facility blows up.

And THEN the opening begins. Let’s hear the Bond song and check out the opening.

...WOW. Just...I mean...OK, so Bond songs. From the first Bond movie, Dr. No, up until the one before this one, Licence to Kill, the intros were designed and directed by Maurice Binder. They were all composed of silhouetted women, often against colorful backgrounds, and almost always nude or skimpily dressed. There would often be themes or objects seen in the film itself, and sometimes actual scenes, often projected onto women themselves. They all definitely had a similar feel and style. And then, Binder sadly passed away in 1991.

Enter Daniel Kleinman. This is Kleinman’s first take, and this is also the first movie to use CGI. While it’s not terribly obvious or gaudy in the film proper, Kleinman uses this new technology to make this intro SURREAL AS HELL. It expresses the film’s connection to the fall of Soviet Russia, and a post-Cold War society. And is does that in a pretty obvious, if abstract and dramatic, manner. And honestly, on retospect...yeah. It definitely works. Even the song, which is sung by Tina Turner and written by Bono (yes, really), works well by itself, and in my opinion, better when with the actual film. So, crazy and weird as this sequence it...kinda grew on me. I like it! Weird, but I like it a lot.

We cut to nine years later, with Bond taking a woman on a drive/race on a cliffside highway with...well, there’s our Bond girl! This is Famke Jannsen, playing...Xenia Onatopp.

Yes. Really. Oh boy. We aren’t being even slightly subtle about this, huh.

The woman in the car demands him to stop, and they make out, as one would expect. That night, he heads to a party, as James Bond does. At the party, James enters a card game with Xenia. Again...as James Bond does. This is immediately followed by him hitting on Xenia, ordering a vodka martini (shaken not stirred), introducing himself as “Bond, James Bond,” commenting on the Bond Girl’s name, and saying suave shit. 

HOLY SHIT THAT SENTENCE ALONE HAPPENED WITHIN 1 MINUTE OF SCREEN TIME

Look, movie, when you got a Bond...you gotta space that shit out. Ration it a little bit, not front load all of it WITHIN FIVE MINUTES AFTER THE OPENING’S FINISHED. It’s like giving someone a beer, and then they EAT THE FRIDGE.

Jesus. OK, Miss Moneypenny (Samantha...Bond, that’s neat!) gives Bond some information, tells him not to have sex with Xenia until they tell him to (yes, really), and then say’s that she trusts he’ll say…”On-a-Topp of things.”

YES. REALLY.

Speaking of Xenia, she’s with an Admiral, having the most TERRIFYING sex I’ve ever seen in a movie. And I’m legit not sure if he survived after it. Like, real talk, it was...frightening. Somebody steals his ID, real nonchalant like, and we cut to the next morning, after his maybe-death? James makes it onto the yacht the next morning (they were on a yacht, by the way), planning on getting some information.

Meanwhile, the ID is used by...someone...to get into a leader of global military leaders. Pretty sure the Admiral got Kegel’d to death; not even joking, it’s a real possibility, and I am shaken AND stirred. And so was the Admiral.

See? Toldja.

Looks like their unveiling a new tactical helicopter, the Tiger. However, the pilots are shot by Xenia and someone else, and they take their place, stealing the helicopter. Bond tries to stop it...even though there’s literally no way he could’ve known they were going to steal the helicopter? I mean, I guess you could assume that, but...I dunno, it’s a stretch.

Meanwhile, in Siberia, a group of radar analysts or some such, where we meet Boris (Alan Cumming, who I feel like I never see play an actual Welsh person...or in a good movie) and Natalya (Izabella Scorupco). Boris is a thirsty computer nerd who hacks the US government for fun (because ‘90s nerds in movies were basically only this), and Natalya puts up with him.

The Tiger helicopter arrives, carrying Xenia and the General (Gottfried John, by the way) from the dam 9 years ago. They show up here, seeking something. Xenia shoots up the place, killing everybody except Natalya (and maybe Boris, since we didn’t see him die). Xenia, by the way, appears to be a straight sadist, enjoying inflicting pain on unsuspecting victims. The two leave, getting what they came for.

London! James Bond returns to MI6 headquarters, and meets his secretary Miss Moneypenny, who calls him the fuck OUT. She is my favorite character now.

MI6 has intercepted a distress call from the station in Siberia, and found the helicopter. The mission is heard by both Bond and M (Dame Judi Dench herself, pre-Cats). Meanwhile, the base in Siberia is hit an electromagnetic pulse originating from an orbiting satellite, which causes EVERYTHING to explode. Pretty sure that’s not what EMPs do, but why not? Suspension of disbelief. 

Natalya’s still alive in there, by the way. And she’s not having a great day. You know those work days, right? Your coworkers are all dead, your equipment and office space explode, you’re trapped in a burning building, two American jets get hit by an EMP and crash into the building. Mondays, amirite?

And in case literally everything didn’t make it clear by now, this is a Cold War movie, taking place after the Cold War was concluded. See, the McGuffin for this film (it’s a Bond film, it’s kind of a requirement) is Project GoldenEye, a nuclear weapon meant to detonate in the upper atmosphere, creating an EMP. The weapon was developed during the Cold War, and has now been stolen by the Janus Crime Syndicate, whose heads include Xenia Onatopp. General Ourmunov is also suspected to be a part of it.

This information all comes out during an exposition speech, as is standard for a Bond movie. But after that speech...OH...OH, it’s so good. See, up until now, Miss Moneypenny was really the only major female recurring supporting character in Bond’s life. But we’ve flipped the script, having M played by Dame Judi Dench. And lemme tell ya...what follows is Dench REAMING BOND THE FUCK OUT. And it’s glorious.

Mind changed, M is now my favorite character. She tells him what’s what, then gives him his mission: get GoldenEye back.

We finally get our big gadgets showcase, as we see...Q (Desmond Llewelyn)! First introduced in From Russia With Love in 1963, Q is the MI6’s spy gadget man, and has been played by Llewelyn since then! He’s the only remaining cast member from the original Connery films, and it’s awesome to see him here! He’s been in more James Bond movies than anyone else, at 17. Sadly, he died in 1999, but it’s still cool to see him! We get cool gadgets, of course, including a pen grenade, a car with missiles behind the headlights, a leather belt with a grapple, a LOT of shit in the background, and a missile hidden in a leg cast and wheelchair. This is such a funny sequence, and absolutely the best scene in the movie so far, holy shit. More of THAT, please.

Meanwhile, in St. Petersburg, the General finds out that Natalya is alive, as well as Boris being missing. Calling it now, he’s been taken by Janus, or he’s working with them. Bond arrives and meets up with CIA Agent Jack Wade (Joe Don Baker), whom I also really like. He’s had enough of Bond’s spy bullshit, and he cuts to the point. He also identifies himself by showing a rose tattoo with the name of his ex-wife, Muffy. Yes, really.

Bond meets up with a Russian gangster whom he has a...pre-existing relationship with. Apparently, he shot him in the knee, then slept with his wife. You stay classy, Jimmy. You stay classy. This man is Valentin Zukovsky (Robbie Coltrane), an ex-KGB agent and current gang leader. He tells him that the head of Janus is descended from Cossacks, a group of Russians that worked for the Nazis in World War II.

Natalya finds a way to contact Boris over the internet, who tells her to trust no one, and sets up a meeting with her at a church. This is, of course, a trap, as Boris is working with Janus. Xenia, for her part as a Bond Girl, does her duty and finds James to have sex with. Xenia, it should be noted, is ABSOLUTELY THE FREAKIEST of the Bond Girls. Like, Goddamn is she kinky, you have no idea. Like...is this sex or a fight scene? The film genuinely can’t decide.

Bond forces Xenia to take him to the head of Janus, who’s in a Soviet statuary of some kind. And who’s waiting there but…

Yup. Called it.

See you (and Sean “died, but didn’t die, and is a villain, but is still gonna die” Bean) in Part 2!

[mechanicalinertia]

What’s next for Divine Patronage?

So my Ranma / Ah My Goddess! / other miscellaneous anime that take place in 1990′s Tokyo fanfic has become more popular than anything else I’ve ever written. I may have classes but this is my designated ‘leisure activity’ now for sure.

Anyway, I have a rough idea for this initial ‘arc’, and how it’ll end. Fine. Whatever. More importantly, though, I have continuing ideas about how to cross over more and more mid-90′s anime and other things into this mishmash where Urd and Ranma have to ‘problem-solve’ things. Christ I wrote like 9 possible arc setups last night; it’ll take me years to make good on them if I do at all.

That’s why I’m a-posting brief summaries of them here, so if I give up on these people can just steal em’.

1. CRIMES OF THE MISHIMA GROUP AGAINST GOOD TASTE

Sayoko Mishima and her zaibatsu god-nap Keiichi and in doing so royally piss off Belldandy. Urd has to snatch the poor kid, who is now a minor god, out from Sayoko’s clutches before Belldandy just loses it and nukes earth in silent rage. Ranma can’t beat the compound alone, though, so Urd turns to Akiko Natsume - the actual head of Mishima - and her all purpose combat android for some help. Unfortunately, the android has a cat brain. Cue Ranma struggling to confront his fears to save the world.

Crossover with: All Purpose Cultural Catgirl Nuku Nuku, a medium-obscure OVA from the 90′s starring Megumi Hayashibara as the wacky cat-bot-girl with Saeko Shimazu (Kodachi’s voice among others) as Akiko. Good fun.

2. FATE / STRANGE; DAYS

Remember Lind, the Valkyrie from the Angel Eater Arc of AMG? Well, she back. She intervened in Fate / Zero’s Holy Grail War (assumed to take place around 1994) and contracted w/ Kiritsugu the way Urd did with Ranma. Now Kiri may have lost all his lady companions, but he gets Illya back from Germany and is raising her alongside Shirou with the help of Illya’s wacky maids. Maybe lil’ Rin and Sakura are involved, too, I dunno.

Anyway, Lind considers the Sailor Senshi a threat to the divine order (they do appear to predate human civilization) - especially since Saturn’s Glaive of Silence is believed to be the Norse Gungnir, Spear of Destiny, Odin’s superweapon that could (even in the OG myths) rewrite reality itself to render enemies nonexistent.

So Lind gets Kiritsugu, Arturia Saber, and Prisma Illya to go to Tokyo and track down Sailor Saturn with Ranma’s help. Then they end up teleporting to the distant past of the Silver Milennium, back when the Senshi’s magic rendered the other planets of the Solar System inhabitable. Cue a string of John Carter references.

Crossover with: Fate / Zero, Fate Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya. Might even separate the Fate story from the whole Saturn / Gungnir subplot - they’re just hunting Kirei and Gil, then. Sure. Fine.

3. THE FUTURE IS HERE AND IT SUCKS

Skuld time travels into the future, only to find that almost every single timeline ends with humanity being wiped out before the 22nd century - perhaps by SM’s Great Freeze, perhaps by other factors. Unfortunately, she forgot to close her possible-future-timeline portals properly, which leads to various cyberpunk futures bouncing off one another for supremacy in 1996.

(Look I wanted to just fuckin do BGC or GITS crossover. Couldn’t decide. Why not both?)

Crossover with: BGC 2032 (Or my 2069 rebot), Ghost in the Shell, Silent Mobius (maybe)

4. GAMES OF THE GODS

The obligatory ‘gang plays an RPG’ sitcom episode, only a) it’s Cyberpunk 2020 because I’ve read that system’s books, and b) the goddesses all bring their boytoys along to be sucked into the game world as their player characters. (Urd gets Ranma, Bell gets Keiichi, Skuld is the GM, Peorth gets Ryoga, Lind gets Kiritsugu) (I guess I better do an arc where Peorth patronizes Ryoga to screw with Urd...)

5. GUNS, BOMBS, ROCK N’ ROLL

Ranma gets dragged along by Urd for a vacation, theoretically to LA. But then after getting bored of the Obligatory Beach Episode, Urd rediscovers that she has a daughter in Chicago - Rally Vincent. She and Ranma rush off to screw up the events of the manga and protect her daughter from the brainwashing of a lesbian rapist crime lord. (I wish I was making that last bit up). Maybe Priss of BGC tags along to really hammer in the WACKY KENICHI SONODA CROSSOVER thing?

Crossover with: Gunsmith Cats, Riding Bean, maybe BGC

6. HEISEI BLOSSOMS BLOOMING

The Japanese government decides to reactivate the Teikoku Kagekidan project, this time using idoru as the mecha pilots instead of the Takarazura Revue thing they had going on in the 20′s. The K-on girls audition, the Love Live girls audition, someone in the Ranma cast or something tries out as well. Mecha are now nuclear-powered instead of steam-powered (whatever that means)

Crossover with: Original Sakura Wars franchise, Tite Kubo iteration non-involved. maybe K-on and Love Live

7. RANMA’S LUDICROUS EXCURSION: STAR-DIAMOND DUST IS UNCRUSADERABLE

Ranma gets a stand. Urd thinks it’s like her angel. Yare yare daze.

Crossover with: What do you think, genius?

8. ETERNAL SUMMER

Ranma gets trapped in a temporal anomaly centered around Tomobiki Town. Now it’s August 1982, Ataru and Lum are about to get married, and unless he can stop the total breakdown of the pocket reality within the seven days before the time loop resets he’ll become part of it forever. Trippy New Wave Existentialist Bullshit - Screwball Comedy meets Body Horror. Also see: Higurashi.

Crossover with: Urusei Yatsura

9. TRICOWBOYOUTLAW BEBOPGUNSTAR: EFF YOU, SPACE COWBOY

A valiant attempt to crossover all three of the late 90′s ‘Cowboy shonen’ anime of the time in one universe. A shared universe? Nah. We’re probably just gonna transplant all the characters into 90′s Tokyo again and watch the body count pile up.

Crossover with: Cowboy Bebop, Outlaw Star, Trigun. Oh, and maybe one of those ‘robo-maid’ shows from the aughties (Hand Maid May, Mahoromatic, Steel Angel Kurimi), just to fuck with everyone.

10. COPS AND ROBOTS

Ranma gets in trouble with the police for sneaking onto the Babylon Project, forced into community service, and then ends up blackmailed into the long-running grudgematch between the SV2 Labor Squad and the Tokyo Highway Patrol.

Crossover with: You’re Under Arrest, Patlabor (original OVA mostly)

11. SUPERIOR AUTOMATRONIC DISPUTE RESOLUTION: GO NAGAI EAT YOUR HEART OUT

Skuld gets in a fight with some deities from some rival pantheons, and as a proper grudgematch resolution they all resolve to build Giant Robots and then Battle Royale them. Ranma has to pilot one.

Crossover with: NOTHING.

12. THE HOUND OF ULSTER BARKS AT MIDNIGHT

Cu Chullain, husbando of Ex-Valkyrie and turncoat Irish goddess Scathach, teams up with Ranma in Dublin to stop IRA extremists from resurrecting the Tuatha De Dannan, specifically the Morrigan. A teenage Bazett (from Fate) shows up and gets all fangirly.

13. TALES FROM THE OOPS

An abandoned particle accelerator built in the 80′s near Stockholm may or may not cause Ragnarok. Ranma and some edgy Swedish Teenagers have to deal with 90′s recession bullshit and clean the place out

Crossover with: Tales from the Loop, Things From the Flood

That’s about it, honestly. I have other things I’d like to crossover with, tbh, mostly mecha stuff. Among them:

- Cannon God Exaxxion

- Eva

- Gundam UC

- Muv-Luv

-Negmia / another Ken Akumatsu trashpile (and I mean that in the best possible way)

Shit this is fun. Imma make another one of these posts with even more ludicrious crossovers later. Peace out.

[wahbegan]

Oh Wait Now I Can Do a Proper Candyman Trailer Breakdown

I can analyze everything in the first trailer much better now, I think with the supplementary material provided by the puppet show and the other TV spot oh right i guess i should put this under a cut like I do cause i just know it’s gonna get long as balls all right

Opens with yeah recap of Candyman legend nothing really to see here

Not much in the bathroom scene either apart from it first introduces this Candyman’s shtick of only being visible in mirrors and shadows which is really neat...oh yeah also no the one Asian girl def chickens out after the 4th Candyman repetition so he literally only kills the white girls which i find personally hilarious. Speaking of hilarious....the girl with the buzz cut? Her character’s name is Boof. Ah, to be young again...anyway

There’s a lot of like...ochre and seafoam in this trailer, have you noticed? Like the bathroom, Candyman’s pants and coat idk i doubt it’s thematic it’s probably just an aesthetic choice but it’s interesting colors for a horror movie

“I feel really connected to this neighborhood” yeah as i mean everyone knows by now but Anthony was kidnapped by Candyman as a baby so it’s hard to tell how much of his fascination with the dark history of prettied-up Cabrini Green is just pretentious artsiness and how much is Candyman’s influence

Okay so the local ominous old kook here says something I find very fascinating when he tells him where he lives. Anthony said I just moved in around the corner, and OOK says “The old candy factory...” not next to the old candy factory or anything, just “the old candy factory”

Now we know from the puppet trailer that there’s a new character they’re introducing who is a black worker at a candy factory with a hook, but y’know like a real person hook that actual amputees get, maybe cause of a factory accident, i do not know, who was good natured and gave free candy to kids on his way home because y’know he works at a candy factory and some white cops saw, assumed he was a paedophile, chased him down to the bottom of the stairwell of presumably the building he lived in, and beat him to death

This character actually seems p important, in the new TV spot there’s a shot of a guy in a trenchcoat and seafoam pants in front of a building i THINK MIGHT be him, and a shot of some cops descending a stairwell, so I think we’re actually gonna see what happened to him, and I think he is going to be introduced as y’know a competing story to Daniel Robitaille’s, he’s MY BEST GUESS going to serve the function in the plot of revealing to the audience the idea presented in the puppet show trailer, that Candyman is more of an abstract entity or a floating moniker, it’s not necessarily bound by the identity of Daniel Robitaille

Anyway, i’m pretty sure by OOK’s comment here that the condos Anthony and Brianna live in are literally built on top of where the candy factory where that guy worked used to stand

Oh yeah just neat little shot of the graffiti of Candyman more as Clive Barker designed him fun reference

Bee stinging Anthony, more on that later, also notice he’s not just a painter, he’s a photographer as well because that becomes important

Oh yeah “he’s the monster that’s part of this neighborhood” is in all probability part of the same speech from the TV spot “Candyman ain’t a HE, he’s the whole damn hive. He’s the way we deal with the fact that these things happened. That they’re still happening.” Candyman I’m prob gonna make a whole post about this but his transformation from urban legend used to cope with random violence and urban decay in Clive Barker’s story to urban legend used to cope with racial violence seems complete in this movie, and I believe thematically the idea is the gentrified Cabrini and Anthony are under the delusion that this is a monster, a story of the past, and Candyman appears to...disabuse them of that notion. With a big fuck-off hook

We know from the TV spot the all-black portrait he’s working on in his apartment is Daniel Robitaille, and a damn good likeness of Tony Todd can I just say who the hell did these paintings they’re amazing anyway the one we see at the gallery of the man with the swollen face is I think the candy factory worker who was beaten to death. That guy i think is also the one who introduces the concept of the seafoam pants and ochre coat btw to Candyman’s wardrobe. Cause of that, he might be how Candyman appears when he kills the High School girls i do not know but that’s interesting, ain’t it? Candyman appearing in different ways to different people depending on the story they’ve heard

Oh the mirror opening to the space behind it must be a reference to the hole through Candyman’s mouth graffiti in the og i just got that that’s pretty sweet cool exhibition

When bearded guy in that god-awful Overlook Hotel carpet-looking button up shirt is saying Candyman, that movie that’s being projected in the background...I’m not sure which, but based on what little more we saw of it in the TV spot, pretty sure that’s footage of the lead-up to/possibly the actual act of the arrest or murder of one of Anthony’s Candyman subjects which is ahh....dark. I mean hell, he’s black, if anyone can do it he can but that feels a little tasteless Tony buddy

Anne-Marie is still obvs shaken up about Candyman, based on their two brief interactions in this trailer I’m assuming...well, cause he was a baby when it happened, he wouldn’t remember, i’m assuming she never told him about what happened to him and this is the first he’s hearing of it.

Candyman agrees with me that the movie was tasteless

Related to that Candyman becoming a monster of racial violence rather than urban blight thing, unlike the original movie, almost ALL of his victims in this are white, which is i mean yeah more on brand considering his origin story(ies)

Candyman appearing in the mirror and Anthony’s hand rotting from the bee sting yeah may as well talk about it here, it becomes obvious at several points through the trailer that the Candyman entity if you want to call it that is taking hold of Anthony

For a split second when he throws the glass, I think you can see his James Byrd, Jr. portrait in the background (with the exposed skull)

Yeah, I’m not exactly sure what’s happening to him as he paints but it SEEMS like he’s somehow experiencing the pain of his subjects

When he’s in his painting clothes covered in black paint seems to be mid-late in the movie when he’s kinda losing his shit yeah we see later the hook come out of a sleeve in the coat he’s wearing when he gets his hand sawed off (more on that in a sec) and the paint-splattered jeans so i’m pretty sure the painting clothes with the old fur-lined coat over it is gonna be HIS Candyman Transformation Chic

“He had a purpose for you, to be another one of his terrible stories.” This is completely shooting in the dark and it came to me late at night as I was falling asleep so I have no idea how stupid or crazy it may or may not sound, BUT if we accept Candyman as a recurring entity and his “terrible stories” as victims of racially motivated hate crimes, okay, hear me out. Remember how in the OG Candyman just kept framing Helen for everything? I wonder if Anthony’s story via Candyman was supposed to be “white woman harrassing Cabrini Green residents chops up woman’s dog, steals her baby, and puts him in a bonfire to be burned alive.” Like Anthony was supposed to be a what’s the word they use in the puppet trailer’s blurb “unwilling martyr”, a black baby boy burned alive by a white woman to keep the faith of his congregation going

I feel like that might be the old candy factory worker sawing Anthony’s hand off, anyway yeah he’s in a very Candyman coat, his hand infected presumably via bee sting is being sawed off, what I really love is that you can see that not only is his right hand getting amputated, he’s been blinded in his right eye. Now remember in Candyman’s original story, Daniel Robitaille had his hand sawed off not just so he could replace it with a sick-ass hook, but because that was his painting hand, that was the source of his talent and pride and wealth. Anthony, like I said, is a painter and a photographer. So Candyman takes his hand and his eye i just love that lil detail

I think that woman in the burned church with SWEETS TO THE SWEET on the wall might be Helen, who we know is in the movie and probably has a conversation with Brianna for plot purposes cause there’s a reaction shot of Brianna in the same church saying “this isn’t real”

Yeah that is absolutely definitely 100% Anthony killing that guy in the alley so yeah i guess there’s no question Candyman gets his ass but i feel like there’s more to it because well y’know they’re very open about it in the trailer number one in a way they’re usually not about the struggle the movie revolves around and as evidenced by him killing people the movie still clearly keeps going after he becomes Candyman so ???? i wonder what’s going on

There’s a brief shot of a little girl watching what looks like her dad jump out the window, I assume that’s Brianna seeing as how y’know a kid is credited as young Brianna and i think there was a character blurb mentioning her having a troubled past, so i feel like her dad’s suicide is obliquely related to Candyman in some way. It is worth noting he seems to jump out of some kind of painting studio

This little kid finding a corpse covered in blood and bees in the bathroom is, first of all, that’s only black person we see killed by Candyman, but also it just seems so disconnected from the rest of the plot and i can’t figure it out at all that I feel like this scene must be either a cold open or a stinger at the very end

[sailor-cresselia]

Zi-O 39: Team Den-O... has arrived!

Insert Den-O Shenanagins here~~!

Zi-O Episode 39 liveblog under the cut~

~

So, Grand Zi-O can just. Summon the Legend Riders themselves out of some point in time by pressing their statues. This is fine.

And it’s almost definitely summoning them, because while Build and Kuuga had their general Rider Kicks going… OOO was lifted directly from Episode 3, one of the few times he used the Tatoba Scanning Charge Kick. You can tell because of the broken columns that showed up with him – he kicked straight through them in the episode, and they’re here again.

… Actually… That was the moment that the OOO arc showed Eiji losing his powers. Him landing on the ground after that specific kick, without the yummy in sight.

HUH.

Also, pressing the statues to trigger the summon makes their emblems show up, which is a nice touch.

Hi Deneb! Hi Yuuto! I’m only just starting Den-O, so it’s going to be a while before I get to you, but I liked you in the Rider 4 special, so I’ll probably like you back in your home series, and here!

I can’t say I blame you for being concerned about that power, either. Grand sure is something.

We have a Woz Speech! IWAE! For he is now UNSTOPPABLE!

Wait. Unstoppable?

WOZ, DON’T TEMPT FATE LIKE THAT! You have just triggered the flag that will make this go very, very poorly!

Either Sougo starts going Bad because of this, or…

Well.

Final Forms in Phase Two Rider usually come about after a very specific circumstance. A very unpleasant circumstance.

…dying. I’m saying they usually come into existence after/because the rider dies.

I can’t even exclude Wizard and OOO from that, either. Haruto got Infinity after basically forcing his phantom back to life after it had been killed. And Eiji… well, I hold that his final form as OOO is Tajador, because screw the dinosaur medals, but Tajador is inherently a boyfriend form when he teams up with Ankh. And we can’t have that happen unless we get Ankh BACK.

(I HAVE seen this episode raw, as it aired, but Zi-O IS an arc-based show, so we don’t know what’s gonna happen in two weeks to keep the pattern going~)

~

Woz has officially skipped from accidentally spoiling by reading a sentence ahead, and is just showing us the spoilers now. Time travel, man.

Woz: “Oh, whoops, were you reading over my shoulder? Never mind all that.”

Woz: “Anyway, let’s go back a few days, to when we’ve still got two watches left...”

Me: “When’s the Drive Arc?!”

~

Poor Geiz and Tsukuyomi. First they come across this random train, crashed in a construction lot. Then four monsters come out – and start arguing with eachother. You know, as Imajins are prone to doing. And then they go to ‘ask the locals for help.’ Because that’s such a good idea, Urataros.

HEY. URATAROS.

DO NOT HIT ON TSUKUYOMI.

BAD TURTLE.

YOU’RE GROUNDED.

(I have literally two episodes with you under my belt and I’m already fed up with the constant flirting and lying. This does not bode well for my Den-O experience.)

Woz: (stops time to recap)

Woz: “And then there’s these assholes.”

… You know, intellectually, I knew that the clock in Woz’s Recap Vault was the one they used for Cronus back in Ex-Aid. But knowing that, and finally seeing that they didn’t even bother filling in the weapon icons that are in the ‘interior’ circle…

Toei, please. I know that usually Woz is in front of that side, so it would usually go unnoticed, but… come ON. If you’re going to repaint the thing, at least put something over that very distinctive part of the face.

~

Aw, drat, there isn’t enough of OOO visible in the opening of the OP to see if the columns are there. If we could tell, then that Twenty Years of Rider Kicks Vault could be the ‘and you thought this was just a flashy part of the opening’ callback at the end of the season.

(Can’t see him in the ‘everyone completes their frozen kicks after Zi-O and Geiz go by’ segment, either, at the “we’ll slip through the raindrops of time, together” line. DRAT.)

~

UNCLE TOKIWA. You need to start questioning things more. Although him assuming that the Imajin are Oni because of Sougo’s ‘important oni friend’ is actually really clever.

Geiz and Tsukuyomi are just so tired, they must have had to wrangle these four dorks over here… and said dorks want Uncle Tokiwa to repair the Den-Liner.

The train.

This poor old man. He just wanted to fix clocks for a living, is that so wrong?

...Well, Urataros isn’t quite lying, I guess? I mean, a time traveling train is clock… adjacent. Technically.

AND THEN RYUTAROS IGNORES HIS PROTESTS. BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THE PURPLE DRAGON KID DOES, APPARENTLY.

AND JUST HOPS ON IN.

THIS IS FINE.

And proceeds to literally lead the imajin in a conga line out of the shop.

This is a thing that is actually happening.

Nobody knows what to think, least of all Sougo.

Woz: “…I’m really sorry… these four idiots are our lead to the next watch…”

Sougo: “I have more pRESSING CONCERNS RIGHT NOW!”

Geiz and Tsukuyomi: (are exhausted)

~

Okay, first off, Heure, Hora, you didn’t actually need to stop time for this conversation. There wasn’t anyone around as it was.

Second, thank you for reiterating the ‘two watches left’ comment. It’s a bit redundant, but my reiterating my “where’s my Drive Arc” comment is too, so. Y’know.

Third…

I’m really glad that Heure, at least, is noticing that this is too easy. That something is leading the other riders to him.

(It’s Swartz. I’m telling you, he’s got ulterior motives, that nobody is going to like. It’s Swartz.)

Pity that Hora doesn’t seem to care.

(You two need to GET AWAY FROM THE MAN IN PURPLE. He has nobody’s best interests in mind, including yours! GET OUT OF THERE!)

~

Victim of the week time!

Coming up to a grave… Angry guy in hoodie says that the guy in a button-up shouldn’t be there. That he’s the reason his (hoodies) sister is dead. So, Button-up’s probably the late sister’s boyfriend, then.

Hoodie chases Button-up off, and is approached by Hora, who offers him a chance at revenge. She promptly shoves a watch in him, turning him into Another Den-O.

…So, since we’re getting a proper Den-O arc, with Another Den-O and everything… does this mean we can get proper arcs for W and Kuuga, too, or are they just stuck in the movie? Because I really want to know if Another Double was actually two guys, the way he sounded like he was. And Another Double’s design is SO cool, I just really want to see it actually interact with people.

Hora: “Come with me, we’re stealing a time-train.”

Another Den-O: just goes along with this

Button-up: TAKUYA’S A MONSTER WHAT DO?!

Small floating orb of light: it’s free real estate!

Button-up: sand everywhere

~

Back on the train…

It. Really does have more similarities to a clock than a train?!

This shouldn’t surprise me, but somehow it still does. It definitely confuses the heck out of Sougo, despite it being his clocksmith uncle saying that he can definitely do this.

...Said uncle then proceeds to imitate Ryuta’s dance moves. This is fine.

And then everything starts shaking, because OF COURSE Another Den-O is outside. Kudos on the train-track patterns to the energy projections in his attacks, though. That’s a nice attention to detail.

… his name and year are on his butt. On the little half-skirt he has, actually, but right over the butt.

This is ‘fine’.

Sougo: “Another Den-O? Okay, Trinity time, then, since we still don’t have this watch!”

At least he gave them a little warning. Not MUCH, but the guys WERE transformed this time, at least!

...Sougo, I know that the name and year are usually on the back, but were you actively checking out Another Den-O’s butt?

Sougo?

Sougo, I’m waiting for an answer.

Oh, no? Just gonna go fight? Okay then…

Except the Zeroliner says no, you’re not, because here it comes, cutting you off and dropping off Yuuto and Deneb!

:giggling: THEY DID THE ACTOR THING AGAIN!

Sougo: “?!?! Kiriya Kyosuke?”

(flashback with Hibiki sounds)

Yuuto: “Whomst?”

Sougo: ‘Have they started forgetting, again?’

So, Deneb brings a whole new meaning to ‘finger guns’, huh? Fair play isn’t exactly going to cut it with someone as potentially overpowered as Zi-O, especially when you’re trying to prevent him from becoming a terrible overlord.

Ooo! So the others CAN see out of their shoulderpads! Otherwise, Geiz wouldn’t have been able to key Sougo and Co in that Another Den-O was about to make a break for the train! (Yuuto, please stop distracting the boys, they do actually have a job to do outside of yoinking everyone’s powers)

Okay, good, Yuuto does agree that stopping the evil doppleganger from getting the magic train is probably a good idea. Pity that Hora then warps a de-transformed Takuya back out of there.

~

So… Deneb’s basically The Mom Friend to Yuuto, right? That’s the impression I’m getting, anyway. “Please make friends with Yuuto, he’s so lonely. He does it to himself, but I’ve been trying to break him of it since 2007. Here, have a candy!”

(MOM. FRIEND.)

Yuuto’s trying to stop Sougo from becoming Oma Zi-O – and we have confirmation once again that Geiz knows that this Zi-O never could. That Geiz still says he’ll take him out if he does.

Yuuto, much like me, doesn’t think he can, and is also determined to Stop Zi-O From Obtaining Grand.

(IT’S SO GAUDY someone PLEASE teach Sougo how to dress himself I BEG you)

(HE’S STILL WEARING AN OVERSIZED BELT UNDER HIS SHIRT. SOUGO PLEASE.)

Sougo has zero intentions of becoming anything but a beloved overlord… and Yuuto’s not having any of it.

Deneb: “I’m sorry about Yuuto, he has trouble interacting with people sometimes, gets a bit rude, please stay friends with him!” hands Sougo the basket of candy ‘Okay, bye~!”

Momo: “HI THERE! I’M HIJACKING YOUR FRIEND, DON’T MIND ME!”

That feeling when you realize that even if he were changing outfits, Momotaros wouldn’t have to do much of anything to make Geiz fit his aesthetic…

~

Uncle’s almost done fixing the train! He’s not so sure about it being a clock, but… well, he’s almost done! And. Is lifting. A giant gear. The width of his torso…

KINTAROS! He is an old man, and you’re always going on about how strong you are, aren��t you?! HELP HIM LIFT THAT!

Also, the picture Ryutaros drew is adorable and I hope that he lets Uncle Tokiwa keep it.

~

Momotaros: “Anyway, I’m here to take care of that little copycat problem. I’m insulted, he’s doing a terrible job of copying my look – ooh, some of Deneb’s candy? Thanks!”

Tsukuyomi runs off in hot pursuit – somehow not realizing that it’s not Geiz speaking. Momotaros, you should have actually used your name, for crying out loud. I get you’ve got an ego, but really.

Sougo… looks really hesitant and broody.  

He’s not sure about doing this anymore.

~

Meanwhile, apparently Button-up didn’t move in the last, like, hour since he was hit by that Imajin… who’s just a generic Mole Imajin. Lame, but fine. He asks him to help save Takuya. That’s so sweet of him! I mean, it’s going to backfire horribly, because Imajin, but still!

~

Sougo’s really quiet as he asks if Yuuto’s right – if getting all the RideWatches will grant him ultimate power. When Woz says it will, that he’ll be undefeatable…

Sougo just wants it so he can defeat Oma Zi-O. That’s the only reason he’s still gathering the watches.

Thanks for the flashback the completely brutal beating that Sougo took in episode 15! That didn’t hurt to watch again at all!

Woz: “To have power equal to Oma Zi-O’s would mean you can stand on equal ground with him. Only you are capable of that, my overlord.”

Sougo: “So I don’t have to have any doubt. I’m going to obtain that power.”

Sougo, you are raising all sorts of death flags here! Death of personality, death of moral compass, normal death, any one of these could happen! Please don’t do this to us.

~

Another Den-O is even carrying his sword like Momotaros does! Nice touch!

…Tsukuyomi, you need to start researching people as soon as you guys meet them. You saw Ryutaros take over Uncle Tokiwa, and apparently Momo’s told you he was Momotaros. And yet you still look super confused when he tells you again.

...and then she has to do Geiz’s transformation for Momotaros. This is shenanigans, pure and simple. And I love it.

MOMOTAROS. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PUNCH YOUR PALM WHEN YOU ARE HOLDING A BUZZ SAW.

And then here we go, Let’s Us And Them Fight time! We’ve got… Four teams, this time around? Another Den-O, the Mole Imajin, Team Zi-O (currently with special guest Momotaros), and Team Zeronos.

:rubs hands together:

LET’S DO THIS.

Trinity Time~!

Except for the part where Geiz isn’t home right now~ I guess it’s been a while since Momotaros has run into Tsukasa, because now he’s super confused about going through a form change again. To be fair, usually he’s just getting his own form – not getting turned into a watch and dropped into a Psychic Sentai Cockpit.

Momotaros, externally: “Aw, man, it was just getting good!”

Momotaros, internally: “Why can’t the reality warpers let us not feel these changes?!”

(I will never be over Final Form Rides, and neither will ANYONE who got pushed into them.)

So, in the Trinity Team Chat, Sougo and Woz are incredibly confused. Momotaros is there. Geiz is also there, and apparently Sougo’s subconscious psychic powers have given him a chair so that he’s not out cold on the floor.

…Well, at least Momo’s used to bodysharing? In more ways than one? Because there’s Climax form, and that’s the four main Imajin.

This is too many people in one body – mOMO NO YOUR FIGHTING STYLE DOES NOT MESH WITH THIS SKINNY NOODLE THAT FORMS THE BASE!

Oh no, Yuuto and Deneb are just so confused. “Why is the red asshole in the cataclysm asshole?! WHATEVER! Deneb, let’s go!”

Deneb’s still mom-friending on main, even in Vega form, much to Yuuto’s despair.

Ohh noooo. Takuya – Another Den-O – wanted the powers so he could save his sister. HNG! MY HEART!

And there’s the Denliner, right on time! So Uncle Tokiwa managed to fix it, after all!

…Oh my Gaim. Oh. My. Gaim.

The Imajin let him drive the train.

OKAY, OKAY, YOU WIN.

Junichiro, you’ve got name privileges back! That’s just TOO COOL.

Woz: “Guys, wasn’t Another Den-O after the Denliner?!”

Sougo: “OH NO! YOU’RE RIGHT! GUYS! WE HAVE TO FINISH THIS UP!”

Why are you guys attacking ZERONOS?

BOYS.

that’s the wrong person.

See? Now look at what you’ve done! Another Den-O just hijacked the Denliner!

And since Button-Up’s contract was to help Takuya… well, he meant ‘help’ as in ‘save’, but Be Careful What You Wish For. The Mole Imajin takes off into the past.

So, Trinity breaks up for now. At least Geiz is awake again! And goes immediately to try and beat up Momotaros. He has it coming.

Woz mentions that if they had the Den-O watch, they might be able to find out where they went…

And Momotaros, aka the Main Imajin who fights as Den-O, tries to tap out from the choke hold Geiz has him in, holding up a red-and-white watch.

He already trusts Sougo, after all. Has since HeiGen Forever.

… … …

nani the fuck?

The Den-O watch starts glowing.

The watches back at the shop start glowing… and warp themselves over to Sougo, coalescing into one large, gold, gaudy-as-all-get-out watch.

Grand Zi-O~

“So this is supreme power...”

Sougo, I don’t think you should be excited about that…

Also, that Drive watch is the one that Geiz brought back in time, so. Um. That one shouldn’t count towards Grand. (WHERE’S THE DRIVE ARC, TOEI?!)

~

We’re going to get Momo-Woz in the next episode! Whooooo! This oughta be FUN!

Also, more Zeronos Altair form, Den-O CLIMAX FORM, and…

Uh-oh.

That’s Oma Zi-O. Not just in appearance – he’s talking to Sougo, too.

Uh-oh.

~~

This episode was a RIDE you guys!

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Watching Extremis for the first time

(Spoilers below)

-Who’s narrating?

-If you serve as executioners to everything... then you execute flies and mosquitoes and stuff like that?

-”The destruction of a Time Lord--”  STOP RIGHT THERE, AND DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME THE DOCTOR’S GONNA BE EXECUTED.

-Holy shit the Daleks are actually an impressive race, they killed a ton of those Time Lords that are supposedly so hard to kill

MISSY??

-WTF

-”I didn’t expect you.”  Well then who’d you expect, some other Time Lord who miraculously survived the Time War?

-Ah, gotta love them Daleks with their gossipy mouths, spreading rumors everywhere.

Why is his suit so worn. I’m concerned.

-”They can’t know I’m blind, Missy. no one can know.”

-HA

-FUCKING FINALLY

-SO IT WAS MISSY ALL ALONG

-CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THOSE HUNDREDS, THOUSANDS, MAYBE EVEN HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF THEORISTS OUT THERE WHO GOT IT RIGHT

-”Please, I’ll do anything. Just let me live.”  I...

-*phone notification jingle*  wut

I DON’T LIKE THIS, I DON’T LIKE THE TITLE OF THAT EMAIL, OR THE COLOR OF THAT EMAIL, OR THE GALLIFREYAN LOADING BAR, OR THE GLITCHY GLITCH EFFECTS

Do all these people have fevers or is the weather just really hot??

-So I’m guessing he uses the shades to aid his vision now?

-Well, as long as he’s not completely in the black I’m fine

-”ve arrrre to com heerre dirrectly frrom the vaticaan”

-The pope???

-what is going on????!?!?!?

-”Pope Benedict. Lovely girl. What a night. I knew she was trouble, but she wove a spell with her castanets.“  wut

-”The Pope doesn't zoom round the world in the Popemobile, surprising people.“

-I am so confused and worried right now

I was kinda losing focus while reading the transcript of this episode and then BOOM, SUICIDE PICTURE FLASHES, WTF

-”Assume nothing. Assumption makes an ass out of you.”

-”I thought you'd moved out from here?  “Yeah, slightly didn't work out. Second attempt on the way.”

-”I don't like knowing their names. I only get attached.”

-”Of course not. I have very strict rules about men.“  “Probably not as strict as mine.”

-”Oh, I'm sorry. Here's me thinking that she dragged some poor, terrified man home.“  Poor lady doesn’t know what’s going on, but talk about getting out of a tight spot.

-My favorite scene in the episode so far omg

-Ah yes, Bill’s house pipes that always go VWOOOORP VWOOOOORP.

-”Well, whatever this is, and actually it's not anything yet, it is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.”

Gotta love how them popes come with a pre-installed church organ sound effect

-I only understood one word that sounded like “Doctor”.

“You’re all going to hell.”

-I love Bill omfg

-”Pope Benedict said that you were more in need of confession than any man breathing. But when the offer was made, you replied it would take too much time. On behalf of the Catholic Church, the offer stands. You seem like a man with regret on his mind.“

-Well, that went down in a bad way...

The very fancy scifi watch hidden under the very fancy fantasy-ish robes

The Doctor suspects Darth Sidious is up to something.

-Nope, nevermind, that was Nardole.

oh

OHHH

-”Warning: I have full permission to kick your arse.”

-”Because I don't like being worried about. Around me, people should be worried about themselves.“ "Yeah, shall I tell you the real reason?“ "No.“ "Because the moment you tell Bill, it becomes real. And then you might actually have to deal with it.”

-This episode is about as religious as Doctor Who gets, in my opinion.

...dafuq

-We all know who this looks like

-The library of Blasphemy, huh? That’s quite some Hogwarts stuff there.

-”Harry Potter!” THANK YOU BILL!

-"The layout is designed to confuse the uninitiated.” "Sort of like religion, really.” I can confirm this true, for reasons. "You happy in those shades? Not dark enough for you?” “In darkness, we are revealed. Bill: When did he get so emo?

-”Well, take a few more minutes if you like. Knock yourself out. Actually do. Do that. Knock yourself right out.” Pffft

That’s one great big hood you got there. But pray tell, how do you see what’s in front of you?

-well shit

-”Without hope. Without witness. Without reward.“ What?

-”You'd be wizard at writing Christmas crackers, you two.”

-I thought Christmas crackers were paper sausages with confetti inside them?

Alright, where’s the orange portal?

oHh my GOD

-FUCKING JUMPSCARES!

-”I think there's someone in there.” "Yeah, we are very slightly getting that.”

wHat TEH FUCk

-”Hey, there’s wifi down here!”  “Of course there's wifi. It's a library.“

-”Reading chair with a safety belt?”

-Apologies if I seem to be taking too many quotes directly from the episode(s), but I just love the Series 10 dialogue okay

-THAT GUY SHOT HIMSELF

-”Because you're sending us into the dark, after a man with a gun.“  Not as dangerous if said man is dead...

-WEll Nardole got a little weird there

-Bill: *voice cracks* “nARdOLE”

-Nardole: *sees hand* *voice goes up by two octaves* “HIEWIEW”

That’s a pretty gun, but it wouldn’t do much damage in battle.

-”It would be stupid to go and look.” *goes to look*

-DON’T BURN THE DOCTOR’S BRAIN DON’T YOU DARE MOFFAT

-NOW THAT MOFFAT IS ACTUALLY WRITING THE EPISODES, I AM GOING TO BE DOUBLE WARY OF EVERYTHING

WHAT?!?!!

-WHAT THE EVERLOVING RASSILON FLIPPING A TABLE ON A HARLEY DAVIDSON?!?!?!

THE PENTAGON??

the flipping kind of videogame portal hub is this

Meanwhile, in another part of the world, aliens freak out as a bald head pops outta nowhere from the wall of their living room.

-”Cardinal, it worked. I can see.”  Yes!

-”Not well enough, not yet.”  Okay...

-”The thing about the universe is, whatever you need, you can always borrow, as long as you pay it back. I just borrowed from my future. I get a few minutes of proper eyesight, but I lose something. Maybe all my future regenerations will be blind. Maybe I won't regenerate ever again. Maybe I'll drop dead in twenty minutes."  NO!

-”You know, I've read a lot of books that this chair would be quite useful for. Moby Dick. Honestly, shut up, and get to the whale.“  omfg

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CHILD OF GROOT AND A SILENT

-”This is not a game.”  “This is a game.”

-Why is that CERN scientist so excited, and more importantly, why does he seem drunk and why is everyone in the cafeteria so gloomy?

WELL THAT ANSWERS THE LAST QUESTION

Reading a legendary script on Microsoft Word.

-(On an unrelated note, I was saving these screenshots and naming them as each alphabet. The one right above happens to be Z.)

-(Could be some other text program but that’s what I think)

-So the screen was getting blurry not because the BBC didn’t want us to commit suicide but because the Doctor was going blind again

-GEEZ THOSE MONKS ARE CR-REEPY ASSES

-THEY’D DO WELL IN A HORROR GAME

Don’t you dare tell me the whole first half of Series 6 was set in a fake world or virtual reality or something like that

-Were those white things all portals to a virtual world

-At least Bill and Nardole got out safely.

-”Are you okay?”  “nOOO - Yes. NooO”

“Could be the Doctor.”

-Let’s hope not

-Let’s really, really hope not.

-”They’re projecting everything.”  CALLED IT

-AND THE PEOPLE IN THE HOLOGRAMS REALIZED THEY LIVE IN HOLOGRAMS?!?!

-But what if??

-What if our lives are really just holograms

-(I went on Omegle to get a stranger to think of a random number, but ended up answering questions about English)

-(This one person was asking “what does ‘single out’ mean”)

-”You know, like the holodeck on Star Trek, or a really posh VR without a headset. Through there, those places, that's basically Grand Theft Auto.”

-More and more references each episode, huh, BBC?

I uh... happened to pause here so...

-”Please don’t let me be right.”

-Oh shizzles

WHAT IN THE NAME OF A RANDOM DALEK

-NARDOLE IS NOT REAL??

-WHAT IF BILL ISN’T REAL??

-WHAT THE EFF??????!??!?!

Why did the blood change color?

-’Total communication blackout at the White House’? hat happened?

-Did all the people in the White House commit suicide and how did the Doctor come here?

-Ah, the portal yes...

-cold fraggling shizzles.....

-”The Veritas tells of an evil demon who wants to conquer the world. But to do it, he needs to learn about it first. So he creates a shadow world, a world for him to practise conquering, full of shadow people who think they're real.”

-OUR WORLD IS A SIMULATION GAME FOR HIGHER BEINGS, CONFIRMED

The screen ‘popped’ a bit here - it shook a little as if it zoomed slighly in then back out very quickly, accompanied by a tapping sound as if someone had knocked (into) it. Not sure if others saw this too or if it’s something with the site that I’m watching this on.

-Okay, I’m watching the Doctor explain this shit to Bill, and I’m having about as much of a crisis as Bill here

-And then the Super Mario mention though

-Please don’t tell me the past six episodes were holograms

-”A puppet Doctor for you to practice killing.”

-The Doctor Puppet account was worried about that line, yes

-Was that the email he got at the beginning of the episode??

wHOA chill please

At least the last six episodes weren’t all fake.

-Then when did the hologram-reality start?

-”It means I'm a scary, handsome genius from space and I'm telling you no, she's not out of your league.”

-”I have the feeling that we're going to be very busy. Call her tonight.“  Aww

-I hope Bill actually gets a girlfriend sometime this season

o i   g e t   o f f

-wHAT

*insert relatable quote about Monday mornings*

Some fast fingerwork there... NO I DID NOT INTEND TO SOUND LIKE THAT

-The guy is becoming uneasier by the second

-I don’t like the whirring sound??

-How are they gonna move her to the box in the middle of the water

It ends here?!

-Oh yeah right... They’re supposed to be a three-parter. Followed by another three-parter to finish off the season.

-Welp, looking forward to the next episode and possibly a lot more things to freak out over!

[cocoarosalia]

Rocking the Cradle Chapter 8: Meeting Grandpa Gabe

He really had only meant to be nice. Not saying that he didn’t want to help take care of his own daughter, but at the moment he hadn’t really considered all that came with the offer. Like getting her a bed, and have proper food available...and her wanting to meet his father.

That last one though he was struggling to come to grips with.

He was sure that his father would never harm Eloise. At least, not physically. No, it was more the emotional trauma that he had grown accustomed to that concerned him more. It’s a lot for a child to take when your own father neglects you and is just never around, it’s why he made such a dedicated effort to be in every aspect of Elly’s life not just the big events.

So overall, he was pretty shook about the whole damn thing.

And Marinette was doing literally no better.

How do you tell someone that A) their crush and project partner just agreed to take your adoptive daughter off your hands for the weekend and B) That crush’s father also happens to be one of your fashion icons? Of which you will probably meet? How might they react to that?

The answer? Not too terribly well in all honesty

Sleep became a fantasy along with unicorns and good grades. She spent every night designing and redesigning the perfect outfit for Elly, sewing and stitching making sure it laid beautifully on her petite frame. She even etched her name in gold on her blue jean button up top. It took forever and she was pretty sure that she looked like a raccoon but all that mattered was that Elly looked her absolute best.

That friday morning the sleep deprived heroine woke her daughter up early with the smell of sweets, did her hair up nicely in a pretty red bow sprinkled with glitter and got her all dressed up for the day. When she stepped back to take a good look at her she had to admit that she did a damn fine job.

Elly was dressed in a blue jean style button up top with red tipped sleeves. She wore a dark blue skirt that complemented her fair skin beautifully and the cutest pair of cheetah vans you ever did see. As far as Marinette was concerned the sleepless nights were worth it.

The day went smoothly with Elly receiving compliment after compliment on her designer outfit, and she couldn’t feel prouder. Even Mari was walking with a bit more confidence in her own top and skirt combo. If this was the feeling most moms feel when matching with their children then she could totally see herself doing it more often.

Then that confidence got sucked right out of her when the first step to the moment of truth came around.

The end of the day showed up and all three were standing at the corner waiting for Adrien’s car. Both parents were visibly twitchy and could not find a way to stop twitching. Her papa kept twisting his ring back and forth while his partner kept fiddling with her hair which laid free from its red bonds.

And it Elly’s opinion it was silly and strange.

Just then a shiny black Rolls Royce rolled up in front of them. Its silver hood ornament shone brightly in the spring sun and there was shimmer that coated the exterior as if it were fresh right off the dealer’s lot. Adrien grimaced ‘I thought I told him not to take out anything flashy. Ugh I must look so douchey.”

He went to turn to Mari and Elly to apologize for the pageantry but it was pleasantly surprised by the response he saw.

There was his “Wife” giggling up a storm at the silliness over the whole situation but then there was his Eloise’s reaction.

You could not tell this girl anything that would ruin her day. Her mouth was agape as she stared at the sparkling black rims. She couldn’t look at anything long enough for fear that she might miss the next great thing about it.

“Papa are you a king!?” She demanded “Only kings and princes and princesses like in my book are this rich!”

The golden haired boy laughed “I am no king sunshine. That would be your grandfather. I am just a prince” little green eyes stared back at him in confusion, but he continued “However, since you are my little girl that does make you my princess”

Marinette took a pause from laughing when she heard the word “princess” leave his lips. For whatever reason, an alley cat hero passed through her mind for moment. She shook it off and just labeled it as her being sleep deprived.

Suddenly a large looming figure exited the car and stood before them. Marinette’s maternal instincts (that she wasn’t fully aware that she had) kicked into high gear as she tensed to prepare for a grab at Eloise.

“Hello gorilla” Adrien said simply. He knew the huge man must’ve looked terrifying to them but assured his partner that everything was fine. The behemoth raised an eyebrow and pointed a meaty finger at the two females, giving the rich kid a look that asked if he wanted him to get rid of the two.

“No need gorilla, this is my family for a school project. This is Marinette my ‘wife’”  He put air quotes around the term wife so that the behemoth doesn’t get the wrong impression “And this is my little girl Eloise. Say hello honey.”

Eloise approached the large man to give her greetings and in response he squatted down and leaned in close for a closer look at her. This did not help her mother’s nerves as her hand twitched in anticipation for a grab. The man looked absolutely paralyzing with his massive frame and stoic face it was no surprise that he’d be chosen to protect the heartthrob of parisian high school girls.

But the little girl was hardly afraid of the man. In fact, she was fascinated by him.

To the point where she just booped his nose.

The Gorilla was nowhere near ready for that and just froze in place, mouth dropped to the ground.

But, Elly just laughed “Hi! My name is Eloise! You have a really funny face.”

And as if out of nowhere, Adrien saw something that he wasn’t even aware could happen.

The gorilla had a light pink hue scattered across his face. His heart simply melted at her innocence and how fearless she was toward him.

“Are you gonna take us to see ‘the king’?” She whispered the last part, not sure if it was meant to be a secret that her papa was basically royalty

The burly bodyguard looked at Adrien, unsure of what she meant but he just mouthed that she meant his father.

The gorilla used his massive hand to give the assumed princess a pat on the head and then a dutiful salute signaling that he would not rest until they got to their destination.

He held open the car door and the makeshift family got inside, Eloise basically jumping in to see how fancy the inside was.

One lively car ride later they unloaded themselves from the black chariot and Elly gave a very animated farewell as the man once considered a terror gave a small wave back from his position by the car. He could feel tears coming to his eyes as he could not get over how cute the small sunshine child was.

As Adrien held open the door for the two ladies to enter they were met by his second most dreaded obstacle.

Nathalie, His father’s assistant

She seemed to be preoccupied by her tablet, no doubt filling his schedule with shoots and appearances that he had no interest in, so he and Marinette tried to sneak past to just get to his room.

Eloise had no such intent.

“Hi there! Whatcha lookin’ at?” she said as she struggled to climb into Nathalie’s seat and look at her tablet.

The assistant almost leapt out of her seat, startled by the little voice. When she looked down she couldn’t comprehend why there was a 5 year old in her seat looking back at her.

“Who are you?” She asked cautiously as she tried to calm her now erratic heartbeat.

“My name’s Eloise! Who are you?” She replied cheerily as if she was just reporting on the day’s weather.

Nathalie narrowed her eyes still unsure as to what was happening. “I am Ms. Sancoeur, The assistant of Gabriel Agreste. How did you-”

“I know that last name!” the small blonde child interjected “That’s my Papa’s last name! You must be the king’s adviser!”

“Papa?” the now highly confused woman questioned “King?”

She then looked around and found a very nervous Adrien attempting to sneak around her desk to retrieve the little girl.

“Stop right there!” She demanded, making him nearly jump out of his skin “You will explain right this moment what is going on here and for your sake it better be good”

He sighed, upset that he got caught. He then collected Elly into his arms and went to stand next to an equally nervous Marinette. “Nathalie this is my family for a school project. Marinette and I are partners and we are fostering Eloise here for the year.”

The older woman was skeptical “And this was all done without a notice or a permission slip to a parent”

“I’m 18 now I didn’t need it. Also I attempted to mention it to you and my father to which I got a very passive response. Nathalie was taken aback by his unwavering defense.

Although she tried to deliver a response he had decided that he no longer wanted to hear it “Listen I’m sure my family is eager to relax for a few moments before we get started on my daughter’s bed and things so we will just take our leave.” He then ushered the three of them up the large staircase to his room to escape anymore questioning, at least for a little while anyway.

All that was left was a very confused Sancoeur staring at the staircase where the little trio traveled. She took a moment to think. She considered the model’s brazen behavior toward the situation and came to the conclusion that he must’ve began to grow up finally. She sat down at her desk, resuming her work with a proud smile on her face.

“Wait a minute” She paused “BED!? AS IN SLEEPING HERE!?”

*Upstairs in Adrien’s room*

He was starting to look emotionally drained as they finally got into his room. He collapsed on his bed as Marinette set little Elly down to explore.

“You ok?” She said gently as she took a seat beside him on the mattress. Adrien took a long slow breath as he stared up at his ceiling just trying to get over the event with Nathalie and psych himself up for the inevitable meeting with his father.

“Yea I think so, I just hate that Elly had to see that. I try to interact with him and let him know what’s going on in my life but if it’s not modeling he has no interest in hearing it. I could never forgive myself if I she ever felt that way towards me. That’s why I make it my mission to hear everything she has to tell me”

She hummed understandingly to her partner’s problems but then said something that hadn’t crossed his mind. “Well I’d suggest looking at her right now cause I can promise you that’s not at all how she’s feeling”

Adrien sat up in his bed to take a look at what Mari meant and he had to admit, there didn’t appear to be an neglected bone in that little girl’s body. She ran up and down spiral staircase, pressed all the colorful buttons on his arcade games and pressed her face against his window overlooking the street. All the while rambling about how she couldn’t wait to rule a kingdom of her own.

“Eloise has had a hard life.” said the bluenette “We don’t know anything about it but I’m sure we can agree that it wasn’t the life that she deserved. But if I know anything about that little girl from the few weeks we’ve spent together it’s that she absolutely adores you. Every morning she asks where you are and how soon she can see you. You make her so happy and for me at least that’s proof enough that you’re a good dad.”

He just sat there on the bed beside her, amazed and feeling a growing sense of joy fill his heart. Had his little girl really felt that way about him? Was he really doing right by her? Millions of insecurities ran through his head until he heard a little voice call out to him.

“Papa, look! The people outside look soo super tiny from up here and you can see so much more than at mama’s house.”

Her excitement shook him out of his funk as he walked over and scooped her up onto his shoulders “You can see even more from all the way up here.”

Eloise laughed in utter glee “Hey daddy what if we went up to the second floor and I was up on your shoulders”

He pondered over the idea for a minute “I don’t know. Let’s go up there and find out.”

“Maybe let’s not do that, there is no way that’s safe” said a very concerned Mari from her now standing position by the bed.

“There’s no need to worry Mari” He replied with a very cheshire like grin “It’s not like I’m gonna let her fall”

And just like that they climbed up the steps and Eloise was on Adrien’s shoulders laughing giddily at all the height and leaning over to get a better look.

And it wasn’t like the hidden heroine didn’t trust him, she knew he would sooner give up his own life for hers. However, unexpected things had a tendency to happen.

Like his door slamming wide open.

And a very upset Gabriel Agreste storming through yelling out his name.

Yea...things like that could happen.

The startling noise made Eloise jolt backwards, causing Adrien to lose his footing and tilt backwards. Marinette could do nothing but watch in horror as she foresaw him falling right on top of their little girl. The feline hero’s instincts kicked into overdrive however as he suddenly gripped the little girls shirt, whipping her from around his neck and clutching her tight to his chest as he fell onto his back beside the railing.

Everyone’s heart was racing at a ridiculous speed. Eloise’s for almost being crushed, Adrien’s for almost crushing her, and Marinette for having to watch the whole thing. The concerned papa checked all over Elly’s body to make sure she was alright and luckily other than a now wrinkled shirt she was perfectly fine.

“Hello? I am talking to you” commanded a very aggravated Gabriel. His son sighed and climbed down the stair holding his daughter close.

“Yes father, how may I help you?” he replied

“Why did I have to hear from Nathalie that you not only have a female in the house without my permission but a child here as well” The model flinched at his father’s words

“I tried to explain to you that they were coming but you were too busy to acknowledge it”

“Well clearly I am here now so let’s hear what you have to say”

Elly could feel her Papa’s grip on her get tighter as anger began to well up inside of him “This, father, is apart of the school project that I was trying to tell you about. Marinette is my partner and together we are fostering and co-parenting Eloise here for the next year. So in a way, this is your granddaughter.”

Adrien placed Eloise down on the floor and told her to go give a proper greeting. She was scared by the man’s irritated mood and inched only halfway to him.

“Hello there, my name is Eloise” Gabriel narrowed his eyes at her as if analyzing and debating whether or not to acknowledge her existence

He chose the latter

“You ditched your scheduled shoot for this?” The frightened girl ran to her mother and hid behind her red skirt, gripping her legs

“I will not allow you to neglect your duties just because you feel the need to play house.” He put up a single hand, silencing any protests from his son before he even made them.

“It was foolish for you to even consider participating in this frivolous project when I am certain you are aware of your busy schedule. Now then I am off to my study for work and when I return I expect all these boxes and these two ladies to be gone. Am I clear?”

He didn’t even wait to respond as he just turned on his heels and walked right back out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

If Marinette and Eloise weren’t there he’d punch something he was so pissed right now. Anyone could tell from his shaking form that he was containing a lot of pent up feeling. But before he could do anything drastic a small hand grasped his.

Adrien lost every ounce of rage in him when he looked down into Elly’s face. She looked worried about him which hurt his heart more than anything his father could ever say to him. But when her wavering little voice came to his ears it broke into a million pieces

“Papa” she said “Are you ok? It’s ok if you were scared, I was too”

All the feigned strength he had built up left him as he sat against the wall and pull his little girl in close to his heart. Marinette sat next to them and just rubbed his back in comfort.

“To be honest sunshine, I was really scared.” he said against her hair “But having you around made me brave. It’s kind of one of your super powers.”

Elly was delighted by the declaration but paused again “Will that man make us leave? I really wanted to stay with you”

He pulled away and gave her a reassuring smile “Not at all sunshine I have too much planned for you to go back with your mama. However, while you’re here you must be careful not to run into the dragon king ok?”

Mari held back a laugh as her daughter all of a sudden was intrigued by what she heard. Eloise asked what he had meant and her papa dutifully explained.

“That mean old man used to be the noble king. But, after losing his queen his heart grew cold and scaly like a dragon’s and he’s been like that ever since.” The little one was amazed and told him that she thought he was the bravest prince she ever met for living with him.

“I don’t want to break up a sweet moment but what are you gonna do about your father he told you that we had to amscray by the time he got back” whispered a very concerned Marinette into Adrien’s ear as their little girl was dazed in delight.

A sly and proud grin slipped across his face “If I remember correctly he asked if I thought his instructions were clear. Well, as far as i’m concerned...they weren’t. Besides, I promised you a break and my little sunbeam a fun weekend. If there’s one thing I always do dear lady that’s keep a promise.”

For the second time today she felt a pang of deja vu hit her but brushed it off insisting to herself that she was just imagining things.

Feeling satisfied with his plan he rose up from his seat, help Mari up and carried Elly over onto his bed.

“Alright sunshine, me and your mama are gonna start putting together your bed do you think you can entertain yourself until it’s all done?” Blonde hair bounced up and down as she nodded dutifully.

But then 5 minutes passed by, so she decided to draw

Then another 10 minutes, so she read some of the books her grand mére bought her

15 minutes went by and she was playing some of the games on her papa’s computer

By the time 20 minutes came and went, Eloise was bored out of her skull and she needed something else to do

She peered over at her guardians and unknowingly took a long look at her papa as she thought back to earlier

‘That king was really mean to daddy for yelling’ she thought resentfully ‘He made him upset which isn’t nice at all.”

But then her heart waned a little ‘but papa did say that he’s only this way because he was sad that he lost his queen’ Her eyebrows furrowed ‘I can understand why he’d be sad but he still has my papa! And having my papa is the best thing in the world to me”

Her mind was made up. She had to make her grandfather see just how great her papa was and she was determined to succeed no matter what.

So while her parents were busy figuring out which screw goes to what board, Elly packed her lemon lamby backpack with her drawings, crayons, everything else, and snuck out into the tall hallways.

“It’s just like a castle” She said to herself, astonished. She had only read about places like these in the books back at the orphanage so she would’ve never thought she’d actually end up staying in one someday.

As the explorer ambled down the walkways she took pauses to peek into random rooms. She found massive bathrooms, spacious bedrooms, a dining room, and even a fabric room she thought her mama would simply adore. But, still no sign of the dreaded king.

She thought her search was all in vain until she came across a room with tall etched glass doors. From top to bottom the panes were filled with drawings of models in high end fashion. It was so beautiful that it looked like dolls were dancing along it’s delicate frame.

Eloise looked in between the sketches of models to find an immensely focused Gabriel drawing out his 4 sketch of that afternoon.

She cracked open the door and slipped inside, undetected. She debated for a moment how to go about making herself known. She couldn’t come up with anything useful so she did the best thing she could think of:

“O mighty dragon king I wish to speak with you!” She announced loudly in the hollow office

Gabriel whipped his head around toward the source of the noise and found a very resolute 5 year old staring back at him

“You are not allowed to be here child, go back to your mother” He sneered at her, annoyed that he was being pulled out of his work for something so foolish

But the little adventurer came too far to give up and go back now (Plus she was avoiding the scolding she was sure to get when they realize she’s gone)

“I have a name you know. And I’m sure you heard it.” she asserted

“I don’t think I did and I don’t think I really care. Go away child I am busy.” The white haired man turned back around and continued his work.

Elly huffed, this king is so RUDE. She had always been taught to be a good person and be nice to everyone but how can she be nice when he’s being so difficult?

She considered giving up but remembered the one sure fire way to get him to notice her

She placed her backpack by the door, crawled underneath his desk and hoisted herself up onto the seat and into his lap.

“Hi there!” she exclaimed damn near giving the old man a heart attack

“WHAT DO YOU WANT CHILD!?” he fumed

“Firstly, for you to say my name. It’s very easy. ‘Eloise’ see?” she slowly sounded out each syllable of her name to get the point across “If you want Elly also works for me”

Gabriel was positively speechless. It was clear from the get-go that she didn’t know who he was but to just approach him like she was really his granddaughter took him for a complete 360 loop.

Nonetheless, he conceded and humored her. If for nothing more than to get her out of his well coiffed hair. “Very well Eloise. Why did you come here? Do your parents know that you’re here?”

The green eyed little one flinched and recoiled slightly remembering that her parents probably haven’t figured out that she’s missing yet. “No they don’t know, but that’s not important right now! I’m here on the perilous mission to transform you back into a noble king!”

He raised a confused but intrigued brow

Elly took it upon herself to explain “My papa told me all about you. I know that you were once a kind and noble king always making everyone happy. But, ever since you lost your queen your heart has grown cold and scaly like a dragons.”

‘So that’s how he views me huh?’ Gabriel thought to himself. He knew that his relationship with his son was strained but to him that was simply the price of success and that was far more important.

“I am here to show you that you don’t have to be sad anymore because you still have my papa” She said, proudly smiling up at the white haired gentleman.

“You do realize that you are just an assignment don’t you?” He said coldly “You’re just another project that he has to complete for a grade”

He simply couldn’t understand why this girl was so adamant about his perception towards her “What do you care anyway it’s not as if you’ll be around long enough for any of us to make any kind of lasting impression.”

‘There, that should make her understand. Now maybe she’ll go away and I can get some work done”

Instead however, Eloise gave him a look that he was not expecting.

She look highly unimpressed. As if his biting words were nothing more than just him listing off the day’s special

She then climbed off his chair, grabbed her backpack and climbed back on. She reached into her bag, pulled out a sketchbook and started to flip through pages.

“This is Nana and Grandpére” she pointed to a drawing of Sabine and Tom “Every morning while mama is busy getting my stuff they slip me an extra croissant before we leave”

She flipped again “This is Auntie Alya and Uncle Nino. They fuss all the time but when they do get along we listen to music and talk about ladybug stuff”

Drawing after drawing she told him about the different people in her life and what they do for her, even the Gorilla who she thinks probably gives the best hugs.

But then she turned to a photo of him. It was crude and his clothes were every color under the sun it seemed like but even he had a smile and crown atop his head.

“I drew you too, see? I don’t know a whole lot about you yet, but I do know one thing. I only draw things that are good, so I know for a fact that you have to be good. It’s just that right now you’re feeling really sad because you don’t have someone telling you that you’re good.

She closed the book and turned to face him with a brilliant smile

“But don’t worry!” She said enthusiastically “You can just tell yourself that you’re good and you’ll be ok! And if you want, I’ll tell you that you’re good too.”

Gabriel was at a shear loss for words. Ever since losing his wife the only people he spoke too were clients and employees that simply told him anything that’ll either secure their job or their business staying afloat. But this girl, she meant what she said.

But far more than her words, what shook him most was how much she looked like Adrien when he was her age. How was that even possible? How could a child, sharing no blood with the man before her, look so much like his own offspring. And yet, there she was, looking more and more like him the longer he stared.

The silver haired man smiled

Eloise smiled back and turned back around to let him work

“Oh and you’re not allowed to call me Eloise anymore” She declared matter of factly

“Very well, Elly it shall be” He retorted

“Nope, not that either”

He sighed “Did your father have anything to do with your difficult behavior?” She giggled at that quip “Fine, what would you like to be called?”

She shrugged her shoulders “You choose, I like getting new names.”

Gabriel looked around his desk and noticed the feathered dress he had been designing for a client, but then looked down to see her golden blonde hair freefalling down her back.

“You will be my little Tweety then. Your hair is gold and squawk like a noisy bird.”

Again she couldn’t control her giggles but accepted it all the same

“Then you shall be my Ye Ye”

He raised an eyebrow “Where did you learn Chinese Tweety?”

“From a book Nana gave me. Plus, I hear it from her sometimes when she talks on the phone.”

He gave her a pat on the head and just decided to instead just enjoy his new granddaughter. She wasn’t going anywhere for awhile it seemed so why fight it.

So they did lots of things together in that short time. They talked about ladybug, drew pictures of things they liked, and he even showed her an old photo album of Adrien when he was her age. In return she showed him some of her mama’s sketches. He made a special note of her style and talent.

In short: Gabriel Agreste was absolutely in love with his granddaughter.

*Meanwhile in Adrien’s room*

“Um Adrien, where is my child?”

Adrien finished pounding in the last screw on Elly’s new bed “What an odd question. She’s lying right on my b-”

But she wasn’t there

She hadn’t been there for a good hour and a half

“Ok...this is bad. Like...really, really bad” he said trying (and failing) to remain calm

Marinette, however, dumped all rationale out the door “OH MY GOD SHE’S MISSING! WE LOST OUR LITTLE GIRL! WHO KNOWS WHERE SHE COULD EVEN BE!?”

“M-maybe she just went to the bathroom”

Pale hand gripped Adrien’s shirt with dear life “YOU HAVE A BATHROOM INSTALLED IN YOUR ROOM WHY WOULD SHE GO OUT THE ROOM FOR THAT? SHE HAS NO CLUE WHERE IT IS!”

Ok clearly Mari is not the calm one during an emergency

But this was no time to be calm

Adrien and Marinette raced around the room calling out Eloise’s name and every other nickname they had for her. When there was no response they bolted out of the room and down every hallway possible, checking every room and praying that they’d located their lost little one

*Back with Elly and Gabe*

Screams could be heard from every corner of the house. Eloise visibly froze as she came to realize that she was finally found out.

“You really gave them no notice as to where you were even going did you?”

She shook her head “I didn’t want them to worry.”

“Well that clearly didn’t work out did it”

Elly tucked her knees into her chest. Gabriel sighed in annoyance and gave her a warm pat on her head.

“Let’s go return you to your parents before they rip apart my house shall we?”

*Back again with our hero*

It was useless. They looked everywhere but still no sign of her. Even a HAIR would give them some type of hope, but they received nothing.

They were each about to slip off somewhere secluded to transform and comb the city clean when…

“Please tell me you’re joking”

There was Adrien’s father standing in the doorframe of his room carrying a very guilty looking Eloise in his arms.

The flustered parents rushed to her to see if she was alright

“Calm down” The older Agreste said “She just came to my office and we had a long chat about things. She even convinced me on certain topics.”

They looked at him, utterly loss to whatever it is he was talking about. He turned to Marinette first.

“Ms. Dupain-Cheng I assume?” He stated

She instantly straightened to attention

“Eloise-” he felt a tug on his sleeve and was met with an irate glare “My apologies, Tweety here, informs me that you made these designs.”

He handed her a design she had made for when Elly has her first birthday with them. Honestly it was one of her favorites as it looked like it would have the most challenge. Dipped in fuschia and floral the gown was crafted straight out of a garden fairy tale with its lace embroidered neckline and cap sleeves. It’s chiffon skirt would look like a blooming rose once Elly would spin in it. She’d be a princess, just like how her mother always saw her.

“I must say that these are quite refined for someone your age and judging by my conversation with this little one you seem to have the work ethic of an up and coming competitor.” Her face flared red as he gave a bow of respect “I expect great things out of you Ms. Dupain Cheng”

Marinette was utterly speechless. Absolutely nothing could come from her mouth except just a squeaky and high pitched “yes sir!”

Then it was Adrien’s turn

Gabriel stepped up to his son, his face stoic and unreadable. Adrien was again nervous but brave in front of his daughter.

“I find it highly irresponsible that you allowed this little girl to run rampant in our home.” You could see the model’s eyes drop in disappointment as he awaited yet another scolding “Honestly, my granddaughter could’ve gotten hurt and that would just be tragic”

Ok, he was not at all expecting that

“But after spending just one hour with her I can clearly see why.” Now he was looking right up into his father’s face confused as all hell “I couldn’t seem to get rid of her once she decided to stay. So stubborn this one, it’s a surprise you even keep up with her.”

The hidden hero finally caught on to his father’s intent and snickered warmly “Trust me you should see her when she’s mad. She’s impossible.” Elly fussed “Hey!” in protest

“Regardless, I’m proud of you son. You seem to have made yourself a lovely little family here. Your mother would’ve loved to see it”

The smile he got back from his son warmed his heart

He leaned down to an increasingly giggly Elly “There you little pest” He stated “was that ‘good’ enough?”

She affirmed his query with a warm pat atop his head

“Very good Ye Ye”

God he can never stay upset with this girl and he somewhat hated it

Even still, he didn’t overstay his welcome as he turned on his heels and proceeded to walk out the door. But, as he walked out the door he took a pause and looked back on the little family scene

And for moment he saw himself and his wife hugging and fussing over a tiny, happy Adrien no more than 5 years old.

[hgfstreamchats]

Jason Goes to Hell

Come on Kast... Kast, just once. Just. Once. Hello! Remember when we used livestream and the only thing we had to worry about were the many, many problems inherent in livestream? Hello, night human! I remember it fondly. Those were the days. I still have no audio. Hmmm... is there--yeah, me neither Still no audio? Nope. Still none Oh afts. Mmmmaybe you have something muted in kast itself? I cannot hear the terrible dance. Drat. It's very possible. It went through some kind of hideous update. Great. Glorious. Hmmmm. Nothing? Nothing Nothing. I hear it! there it is! GLORIOUS!

And it just cut out And it's back There. There we are. What was the problem? Wonderful! Emulator nonsense, the usual. Ahhh Look at that pumpkin man go. He's certainly got the music in him. What precisely is this? ohhhhh jeez I'm also wondering Either an underrated found footage film or pure garbage. We're watching now so that if it's filth, we still have time to end the month on a high note. I see... "remember that name" Once again, I already care nothing for these characters! This filming format is so obnoxious. I'm sure there's a totally normal reason he's setting up a camera in his RV like that Whichever one did that is now Smokescreen. Somehow I guess it didn't occur to me that haunted houses would run for more than one day The general idea of the thing sounds fun. I'd do it if I were human or capable of fitting into human buildings. There you go! Just make a found footage film starring me! Just stick your head in, it'll be fine "I'm here, you all figure out the rest." There are outdoor haunts. Or haunted corn mazes. You could possibly attend one of those. Yeah!  Just drive around in it As I suspect a maze loses some of its charm when you can just step over the walls Don't tempt me. I'll do it and the Autobot pets will whine to the Autobots. I would tempt you just to get the pets to whine about it. I guess you could also see if someone from one of those universes where they can project holoforms further, is willing to share If I do, I demand a copy of the report so I can frame it. This is how to get kicked off a property. ... yikes I hate them all immensely. So, do you think that these terrible people will die, or just annoy us for an hour and a half? So do they die, or what Ugh. Even the Blair Witch humans weren't this obnoxious. These wretches would fit in with the pretentious Book of Shadow humans. Shut up! ?? Them, not either of you. I feel like even if your conceit is "found footage", you can damn well edit it to only the interesting bits But if we don't see the worthless chaff, then how will we know it's "art"? If they don't stop talking, ever, how else can we be expected to care whether they live or die? And you get that same "wait, why were they even filming this in the first place" feeling At this point, I'm solidly on Team Clown. Ah. So they are being stalked by the actors from the first haunt they pissed off. So spooky. I think so? Why did they... let them in For maximum spooky. "okay this isn't so much 'scary' as 'awkward'" What exactly did they do at the first haunt?  I, uh, may have gotten up for a minute to get the kettle If anyone has suggestions for real horror movies that would go down nicely after this, do feel free to throw them out, because we're not touching the sequel with a 40 foot pole. And apparently missed Vital Plot Info (tm) They climbed an unattended ladder, and screeched at the waiting line crowd. Ohhhh. Yeah, not cool Do you want a real good horror movie, or a real silly horror movie? Either, any! Well, there is always Jason Goes to Hell. Or Texas Chainsaw 3D OH! Yes! Either is infinitely more fun than this. Jason Goes to Hell it is! OH WHAT A SHAME IT'S THE END AND THEY'RE DYING. HOWEVER DID THIS HAPPEN. WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED Are they actually dying? Hopefully? BUT THEY'VE LOST NONE OF THEIR USUAL CHARM, CLEARLY. Shaun! Damn it, don't make me laugh when I'm about to drink something Oh no! He got vaguely attacked in the dark. And she got red kool-aide on her sweater. She'll never get those stains out! The true tragedy. The frag would this be filmed? Uh oh, is it time for snakes Why does that one get cushions and kool aide doesn't? ...who's filming that She got a snack instead. I don't despise kool aide like I do beard-face. By all means, none of you try to push out while the dirt is pile on soft and shallow. *piled Oh, shut up. Thank you. I think that was as much of that as we needed to see They didn't have the decency to *die* entertaining. This should be much more entertaining. People die in ridiculous ways. Do you know what irritates me most of all? It had such a compelling title. That's what lured me in. I assumed nothing with a title that good could possibly be bad. If it had been a real documentary on the haunted house industry, then I think it would have been good. It would have been! Yeah, that could have been interesting! This is already more interesting. What a necessary scene, I'm sure It is a horror movie. Jason looks...bloated. He's a bit worse for wear. Comes of being in the lake all that time Oh hey So she was the bait Was that an air strike And then he explodes. That should do it. Graphic design is their passion. It just does this the rest of the movie. The longest mid-credit roll of them all. Ha. Just keep poking it. What I'm getting is that there were just a whole bunch of people who wanted prominence in the credits, and sacrifices had to be made The scale numbers changing is a nice touch Uh Ew ...Huh. I feel bad for that guy This is the Friday movie that was made just after New Line purchased the rights. They... did not know how to make a proper Jason movie. Oh boy o oh Hi! is this a youtube poop Hey! It's Jason Goes To Hell Smokescreen! Woojit! What is this? You barely missed the credits! Oooh! I did it! I came just in time! What you missed: a military op killed Jason, then when the coroner was disecting him, his heart started beating and he possessed the coroner. That's just how it is sometimes! Apparently! Oooh, this is like a scraplet horror fantasy novel I read like, vorns ago It is? Like, the body snatching? Oh! ... are they smoking in the cafe??? is that allowed? Used to be. does everyone do that or is he just doing it because Apparently they're all just...like this? That's how it is. ... Can I smoke in here? I would prefer you did not. Oh, good, important information to be imparted later!  I'm sure everyone will survive until then Since when do you smoke, Smokescreen? Well, one or two times, Wheeljack gave me something and it wasn't bad! "haha just a joke, only like eighty people have died there" This certainly is how people talk. Uh. Ugh. I mean, I wouldn't want to be in the tent after whatever slag they're getting int-oh "I'll just sleep outside and listen." Like any good friend on an awkward camping trip. Of course. Nothing says "third wheel" like being the one who gets to sleep OUTSIDE the tent, half-naked You'd think they might have brought an extra tent. Sometimes, you just want to frag a tree .....*What?* Not everyone has your love of plant life, Smokescreen. What? NO I didn't mean it like that! Like... Some humans really are tree huggers? Nothing wrong with tree-fraggin! . . . . There was a human in the last film that frags pumpkins. We thought of you. Woojit, I'm gonna find an owl movie just for you. It won't be anywhere near as painful as said last movie. Unless it is a found footage owl movie. "nah, we don't need a condom, we're not surviving the movie anyway" w Primus, was the last movie THAT bad? It was wretched. Just intolerable. From what we saw, it seemed to be about 10 minutes of plot drawn out into an hour and a half of movie With zero (0) likeable characters I have to admit, this wasn't really what I was expecting This movie's just all over the place. Oh dear. It's the worst Friday movie. But still entertaining in a terrible way. No, I don't know why this is happening. That is definitely how reflections work. Magic! Wait, this is a friday movie? Yes. Jason Goes to Hell, part 9. Oh, I thought all Jasons were just like that. ... I saw a Jason movie with a bot not that long ago, huh! So... did he shave him out of like... vanity?  he didn't want a moustache? christ The classic 'A body swapped Jason killed that lady' misunderstanding. Agent Scully! Man, how many people do you think were like "jason swapped bodies with me :(" in court ..... is jason the baby No? Oh so that's the asshole bounty hunter or whatever Now I want, no, need Jason to be the baby. I know, right? With a tiny, baby sized knife and hockey mask? What the hell is wrong with this guy Who doesn't enjoy breaking fingers to pay off the exposition dump? Man, I'm pretty sure I would've gotten kicked out the autobots and broken everyone's fingers if I broke someone's fingers everytime I started expositioning It sounds like a Soundwave method more than anything. Yep. Its name is Jason. I hope he didn't just taste that Facebook Oh good, the Necronomicon See, because it had a face in the cover-- How did he manage to steal a body? what the fuck Hopefully HE'LL--yep, guess so! Bleh Well, that takes care  of that. She's crying because her shower stream is so weak. Kidnap her. Women love that. I feel like maybe he could have accomplished more by calling her from jail or something Instead of all these shenanigans oh UGH UGH. UGH. Are you not entertained? Uh oh Hah! ...Did that do it?  Did the right person kill him? Nope. Ah Jason was more interesting when he only cared about his mother and his lake. I did mention this was worst Friday movie. ...I'm not sure that WAS him I mean, Jason hasn't actually... talked, so far It was a terrible worm thing, this whole time. I didn't think he could downgrade from the spaghetti-gut rotting corpse but here we are. Ohhhh shit There he is! I have to admit, I wasn't expecting that Oh what that pit sure came in handy Not the puppet hands! And there you have it. What a twist, kind of! Well! Still better nonsense than the last one. A marked improvement. And to think I thought this movie was going to be about him going to hell and, I don't know, stabbing demons or something. You're not the only one. I want a toyota beef! That would have been more fun, and that's not allowed. Hehehe. TWO things are wrong in the picture! ... isn't the kid pushing floating The boy is floating! What What. ... Does primus does primus have a good question doesn't he hang out on tumblr?  you could ask him next time you see him Oh yes, that sounds like a good idea. That won't go wrong, I'm sure. Technically I didn't say it was a good idea It's an awesome idea! Primus adores me Then go right ahead, Smokescreen. You got it! It'll at least go better than calling Unicron a dilf ...You called Unicron a what a dilf? Why did you do that? To bug him? Oh, well then. One day that may come back to literally bite you in the aft. Well, that's all I've got! Well, once again, thanks for the stream! woojit woojit woojit I've got a horror movie for us for sometime! Thank you for that stream salvaging suggestion, Starscream. Oh, what? *listening face* The Brave Little Toaster? Yes, thanks! You know the sene It was the least I could offer. This was much better than the other thing Absolutely not. I'm not that sadistic. Oh. ... Am I that sadistic Oh my It's, uh, it's a pretty gruesome movie in some ways I'm sure nobody thinks you're sadistic, Smokescreen I think he tries. Oh, he already left.  Unless that's Kast being weird again. The Brave Little Toaster is the sadistic one. Well, goodnight! Goodnight, All. Good night, everyone!