#(Full of conflicting emotions for Sonia)

[more-than-a-princess]

@scarlxtleaves asked: (this is just a quick little reply to the last reply you've sent me where Sonia mentioned that being married to her would interfere with his life as a gentleman thief. AHEM here goes.) "I shed the mask of a thief to wear my true face as 'husband'. As long as I'm yours, I know it would suffice. It would leave me overjoyed."

Unprompted IC asks - Accepting from mutuals!

For the first time since he'd found her there in the sitting room, curled up with Sisi and a book, silence fell. Sisi, who had taken to sniffing around a shelf, peered at the two humans and the mood that had settled upon Lupin's declaration of marriage. To her. That being wedded to her was worth giving up his entire life's work.

It was then that the dog, mechanical leg clanking in tow, padded over to both thief and princess and plopped himself down in-between two sets of feet, as if he didn't know which human to provide moral support for at the moment: Lupin, with his earnest words and equally earnest gaze, or Sonia, whose mouth hung open in shock as she stared, dumbfounded, at a man professing his preferred intentions with her.

Generally, princesses were supposed to smile, or weep, or fall into a man's arms in relief as he confessed a vision of a future with her. That was what the movies had always instructed. Unfortunately, Sonia had been dashing the dream of fairytales since she was a child, it all coming to a head in high school when the boy who had stalked her, loved her for all the wrong reasons, finally had to be made to understand that she was not something out of a book or a film. Sonia Nevermind was human: imperfect and flawed and part of a system that spanned centuries and, God and the efforts of the Royal Family willing, would continue to flourish long after the eventual Queen Sonia of Novoselic was no more.

But Lupin looked at her, eyes full of warmth, optimism, some sort of hope for the future, or so it appeared to her. And Sonia swallowed, looking back at him: half a world away and tucked into the safety of a large mansion full of new friends who, while paid to do so, wouldn't hesitate to protect her, everything she was to so many people seemed so insignificant. But she couldn't remain locked up forever, like one of those aforementioned princesses in fairytales. The part deep down within her, the one that bent rules and ran wild and gave everyone's blood pressure a proper spike, wanted to say she could make it happen if he sincerely cared for both princess and country alike. But the more rational part stopped her: she wasn't sixteen anymore, easily throwing caution to the wind. She sighed deeply, shifting on the sofa to properly face him, without a book or plans for a heist to distract her.

"Forgive me, monsieur," She began gently, blue eyes pleading for him to listen and understand. "But I am not sure you fully understand what you are suggesting. This life here at the mansion, and the person I am able to be here...well, the terrorists who threaten my life will be caught and tried eventually, and I shall be extradited home where I will return to my life. A working royal life, with duties and responsibilities and schedules where I must have nearly every hour of every day accounted for, for something or other. That is, the woman I am here," She paused, gesturing down to her loose ponytail, her pullover sweater, her jeans and fuzzy socks, not a trace of finery on her besides the pearl and diamond stud earrings in her ears. With a book and a dog and several pots of tea on a lazy afternoon. "I cannot be this...this free at home. And neither is anyone else in my family: we are royals first and people second, and we put the needs of the country before our own. That includes royal marriages. There is no divorce for people like me: it is forever, for the sake of a country that believes in true love and happily ever afters, even if the reality is much different. But it is a job, and not one taken lightly."

He'd never known her outside of his care, their care, since the day he and the others had come to rescue her. And that was why Sonia worried that the woman he was now propositioning...she didn't exist. Not really, or at least not forever. Whether he was certain he could be happy giving up his life as a thief, that didn't change the fact that he hardly knew her. Or at least, knew the person whose shoes she'd have to step back into one day. And of course, the fact that all royal marriages in Novoselic had to be approved by the current monarch: it was illegal for Sonia to marry without her father's approval.

"Besides," She continued, absently breaking off a piece of shortbread biscuit for Sisi and holding it in front of his nose for him to take. He'd stayed at their feet, whining either at Sonia's words or the fact that there were uneaten biscuits on the plate. And he'd been a faithful companion for the reality she had to illustrate for him. No matter how passionate he was, Sonia couldn't in good conscience let him continue without fully explaining the implications of such a request. "We have a heist to think of now, do we not? And...I would never consent to marrying someone without dating them first. The prospect of arranged marriages, where I am from, is in the not-too-distant past: and I vowed I would never be a part of such things. When I do, it will be for love of both spouse and country: I cannot do so otherwise."

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Didn't know what was going on so I didn't write up today's review yet but now I know, here is my take on 2-2.

A lot of people consider 2-2 to be one of the best cases but as you said almost all the praise is due to the conclusion and let's not kid ourselves, its a good conclusion and a very emotional one, but its literally right at the end. The rest of the case not so much.

Again I don't have any interesting trivia for this case so let's just jump into the chapter itself, and let's start with the motive. You could argue Twilight Murder Syndrome was designed to insicate conflict between Fuyuhiko and Mahiru but as you mentioned, if anyone not involved played the game it would have confused them, instead my personal take is that its a little like those Mario 64 Creepypastas where every copy is personalised. Whoever plays the game first, it molds itself to be based off the memories of that person, so because Fuyuhiko played the game first, he got the Twilight Syndrome we know and love, but if someone else played it, it would have been based off their own memories and designed in a way to cause conflict. Of course since Fuyuhiko's copy caused the murder it was locked that way to everyone else. Knowing AI Junko, she knows all of what their lost school memories were and could spin it in any way to cause a violent conflict, because unless traitors are being weeded out, normally the motives aren't so biased towards someone.

I was also annoyed by Chiaki's lack of involvement in the case since well the motive is a video game. She's the Ultimate Gamer so I expected her to play more of a role in this Chapter and yet she didn't. I won't get into Chiaki's character until we arrive at 2-5 as that's when its more revelant but let's just say this is the start of my issues with her as a character. It just very ignerous where you have a motive where someone who's talent is similar to the motive and yet they do jack squat. Well Chiaki does help in some ways but the manner she does it in, others could have equally done so. I understand her not being affected is foreshadowing her being the mole but when you first play through this chapter, you won't know that.

I am also disappointed that while Peko tried to frame Hiyoko for the crime, if she was gonna go full Sparkling Justice, why not frame Sonia in the process since well she knows a lot about serial killers, so maybe she roleplays as Sparkling Justice? We all know Sonia would have been able to disprove but much like how I was disappointed that Kyoko wasn't framed in 1-3, its a missed oppertuinty from the blackened.

Also I feel you have misread a lot of what Fuyuhiko was planning to do. He wasn't gonna confront Mahiru for a friendly chat, he had plans to kill her because as a yazuka, he lives "eye for a eye" so since Mahiru covered up his sister's death, she was as guilty as Sato in his eyes. Thus his plan was to meet with Mahiru and see what she knows and after he gets all the information he wants out of Mahiru, he would then kill her to avenge Natsumi. However, though Fuyuhiko is a yazuka, he isn't heartless as he was hesitating the whole time and in the end he was planning to spare Mahiru, that is until she decides to speak her mind and then Fuyuhiko got mad and was gonna kill her, and that's when Peko snatched the bat from him and killed Mahiru instead. So a little bit of context was missing, as murder was initially on the table, its just Fuyuhiko had moral hangups about going through with it, that's why Peko tried to frame Hiyoko, because chances are Fuyuhiko already told her about his plans to kill Mahiru.

Spending so much time on the Twilight Syndrome Game was also stupid and I should also add this is quite hard gameplay wise as not only is this when the Hangman's Gambit V2 really starts to become obnoxious, but I like so many others got a literal Game Over because we couldn't figure out about the fucking fish gravel in a swimsuit. As much as I feel Sato deserves better narrative wise, the one thing I won't forgive her for is she's the only person to make me fail at a Danganronpa Class Trial due to how stupid her murder weapon was. I know they said "unusual weapon" but nobody thinks "hmmmm gravel" for it.

The Sparkling Justice section was stupid, as it could have been disproven in 10 seconds by Sonia, why did it warrant its own music track? Why does Peko felt like she had to speak in emoticons? I know it was to try and force everyone to vote for her by making it look like she lost it, and Danganronpa can go silly at times, but this felt completely stupid. Yes Genocider Syo is silly but her reveal made sense as she was implied to be the one who killed Chihiro and we had proof that Toko has DID. Plus Genocider Syo came up previously in Chapter 1 so there was already a bit of foreshadowing there. Sparkling Justice was from something Sonia was reading just to show she's not the typical proper princess stereotype that many people assumed her to be.

Plus this case also has Hiyoko framed for murder and I know I'm gonna invoke the wrath of that one Hiyoko kinnie, but dear god is Hiyoko so insufferable in this chapter. I understand this is Hiyoko pre-character development but honestly does she have ANY sense of self-preservation as she's literally accused of murder and all she does is bitch and moan which just makes her look even more guilty? Peko couldn't have picked a more ideal fall girl as Hiyoko's own behaviour didn't help her case at all. Now I understand why DTFA had Hiyoko be so insufferable in the latest episode because it would be very much in character for her.

Also while Hiyoko says Mahiru is the only one who she was okay with, we didn't get that many scenes with them and the most notable one you need the infamous Man's Nut for, and well...let's just say the scene left very little up to the imagination. Like yes Hiyoko wasn't as bitchy towards her but that's kinda like wanting a prize for basic human decency right there. And while Hiyoko does try to improve in Chapter 3...we already know how that went.

It also sucks Mahiru had to die as she's easily the most misunderstood character in DR2. Due to how she acts around Hajime, she often gets the feminist/misandrist label slapped on her, and you need her FTEs to understand her, which due to her short lifespan...yeah. She was actually quite helpful the last chapter and it seemed like she really didn't want to feed Nagito when he was tied up when he was offering Hajime to do it. Especially as Kodaka stated that if he wanted to create a spin-off game with any of the Danganronpa cast, Mahiru would be his go-to protagonist choice. But unfortunately this is Danganronpa and everyone has a favourite so someone has to be a early death. And I guess with Mahiru's investigative focus, she was too dangerous to keep alive. This is also why I believe any Ultimate Journalists who aren't part of the Mastermind Scheme would be early chapter deaths as they snopped around where they shouldn't be looking and paid the price.

Again unless they are part of the plot itself. This is me more or less saying the only reason Nikei lived to Chapter 4 in SDRA2 was due to him being a Void or else he would have died a lot earlier. I know Mahiru isn't a typical journalist but she does dabble in photojournalism so she does know how to investigate and look for clues. Thus I feel she was removed to prevent her from like discovering the truth behind their situation.

There was also some foreshadowing that Fuyuhiko and Peko had a connection since when Fuyuhiko didn't want to be part of the group, Peko seemly knew what he was doing and was always the one speaking to him. Plus with Makoto and Sayaka having a connection in DR1, its not too out of place to have two characters know each other prior to the Killing Game taking place. Another one is in 1-1 where Peko felt ashamed she didn't stop the murder because she ate laxatives and while Fuyuhiko was quick to accuse others or call them out on their failings, he seemed strangely forgiving of Peko, so the reveal was quite decently build up.

I'm not gonna argue against the reveal and the emotions because those are peak and you cannot top perfection there. But while the conclusion is 100% S Tier and you WILL feel weepy eyed over Fuyuhiko at the end, its just getting there isn't nearly as great as it felt decent, but not brilliant. And we wasted too much time on the video game which was not warranted in the slightest.

It's not like we can't get away with a short trial since A2-4 was a very short trial last only around 45 minutes, but that had a lot of stuff going on in that. And it was in Chapter 4 for crying out loud? If a crime is simple then yes keep the trial short, don't pad it out via unneccessary in universe video game or because one character wouldn't stop crying and screaming throughout the whole trial.

Like imagine if 1-2 for example the motive was a movie based on the character's pasts and you had to decode everyone's fucking movies to figure out which is what and then Toko goes into a complete meltdown during the trial and you have to get her to shut up before you go anyway? Yeah doesn't sound very fun now does it? That's what 2-2 is like.

I know DR2 is repeating a lot of what happened in DR1 for plot based reasons but it doesn't mean we have to have a boring arse trial during it. Also this started Kazuichi's disgusting stalker habits to Sonia which I'm very much not a fan of. Like I get him being a creep to Sonia, but why did he rope Hajime into it and why didn't Hajime say no? Was Hajime still under the effects of the Man's Nut while doing so? Can't be as that's an optional scene and you may not even have the Man's Nut at the time. So what the heck? Is it a scene for the sake of comedy?

In short 2-2 has both a brilliant and also conflicting motive as it seems like its biased towards certain characters to get them to kill. The victim is someone you feel sad for but at the same time I didn't expect Mahiru to live long, plus she starts the trend of "character who engages in Rebuttal Showdown first will die as the Chapter 2 victim". Chiaki didn't get as much importance as I hoped she would and we focus as much on the video game as we do on the secrets in Despair Time and its to the dertiment to both Chapters. We also have to have the single worse false accusation person as Hiyoko might be framed for a crime, but she doesn't make life easy and you almost wish she was the culprit. And when Peko is rumbled she just decides to inject humour in the trial for no apparent reason. It IS made up by that absolutely heart-renching conclusion which is a massive 10/10 but not the chapter itself. One single amazing moment doesn't absolve the chapter for being rather mediocre overall.

This list has made me curious since there's one chapter I expected to come up around now, but it hasn't yet. Could you actually love this chapter in question? I guess I will find out tomorrow.

//Yeah, sorry about that suddenly late write-up, I had prior committments, as I already said. But I do enjoy responding to these reviews of my reviews.

//And I am glad that my Dangancember posts appear to be relatively popular so far. I was worried they wouldn't, but I'm glad that at least some of you want to hear what I have to say.

//I'm glad that we're in agreement about this case because it's such a standout moment across the entire series, and one of the most emotional moments across the whole franchise, so much so that people forget that the actual mystery itself is mediocre at best, and dragged out to a ridiculous degree.

//Peko and Fuyuhiko's character dynamic is the main thing saving this trial, and even then, as I said, the Sparkling Justice bullshit is an insanely dumb part that ruins even THAT.

//People always give 2-3 shit, rightfully so, but I think they let 2-2 off way too easily.

//That theory about how Twilight Syndrome's reward changes depending on who first beats it makes sense and is cool and all, but also, I'm afraid it doesn't really hold water. I might be able to be convinced that the prizes change per person, but I can assure you that the GAME doesn't.

//The reward prizes are the real life images that APPEARED IN THE GAME, such as Natsumi and Sato's bodies, which mirror the bodies of Girl E and F. And we know that the game doesn't change per person because Hajime, Nagito, and Chiaki all played it, and the event had nothing to do with any of them. Even if Mikan, Ibuki, or Hiyoko had played the game instead of Mahiru, it's of no consequence to them because they were barely involved. Mahiru was the only one of them who knew the truth behind Natsumi's murder, and she directly covered up Sato's tracks to save her, which makes her complicit in the case. But the other three could not, and would not have known about that.

//But the game doesn't change depending on the person that plays it, and I doubt it could. Monokuma introduces it as Twilight Syndrome MURDER Case. Beyond being a Remnant, which she wouldn't have any context for, you cannot convince me that Ibuki has ever been involved in a murder that wasn't THIS one.

//Everyone in DR2 is obviously a remnant, but as their school-life selves, not all of them have skeletons hiding in their closets.

//Also, I don't know if I actually said this in the review, but while it is true that motives aren't usually this biased towards particular people, this is a bit of a different case. Remember, the main motive for the Killing Game in DR2 is specifically designed for the students to kill each other so Junko can take over their bodies without getting her hands dirty. So it makes sense for the motives to be far more direct and targeted towards the students relationships with each other that they forgot.

//It's the same for all the other motives in the game. Yes, everybody got hit with the news that their school memories had been taken, but considering Teruteru's family state, this hands down affected HIM more than it affected ANYONE ELSE on the island, and I guarantee you that Monokuma at least had a feeling that it would get to him specifically.

//And hypothetically, if the game DID change depending on the person, what would they change too? Because it's straight up impossible for Monokuma to use real-life events and inciting incidents from their lives for ALL of them.

//Especially Chiaki, who would not HAVE one. It's straight-up impossible; and because she's the Ultimate Gamer, she would have been one of the key people to play the game first, so there's no way Monokuma wouldn't have accounted for that.

//Also, I'm going to have to disagree with the Chiaki stuff not being relevant, because yeah, sure, it does make sense for her to have more involvement thanks to the motive being a game, but at the same time, Chiaki cared more about preventing another murder than video games. She wouldn't have played the game if everyone else agreed not to do it, and even assuming she herself could have had an incentive to kill, she wouldn't have willingly given herself one like that.

//You could attribute Peko's methods to desperation and fumbling and doing whatever she could to remove Fuyuhiko from suspicion, and it's not like Peko is notorious for showing that on her face even in tense moments. She hardly breaks from the stoicism even when she's accused and cornered. In fact, unless I'm misremembering, I think she's the ONLY KILLER who DOESN'T have a freakout.

//Even Gundham and Kaede had one, and they were both trying to push themselves towards the guilt.

//Also, Hiyoko was actually a pretty good fall girl, especially CONSIDERING all she does is bitch and moan. She's horrible to everyone on the island, and Peko was accounting for a) the fact that people COULD believe she'd be sadistic enough to pretend to be Mahiru's friend and kill her, because she's such a cruel person, and b) Hiyoko not being smart enough, and too panicked to fight back and present evidence of innocence. In fact, the main thing that gets Hiyoko off the hook is the fact that Peko placed a gummy as some evidence, but placed the one kind that Hiyoko doesn't like.

//That's the only uncalculated mistake in the matter, and it can be justified because Hiyoko didn't ever really interact with Peko, and she couldn't have interacted with Fuyuhiko because of his distance, and when he did approach, all she did was insult him. Other than that, it's a pretty soundproof plan.

//Also, I think Hiyoko and Mahiru's relationship makes a bit more sense thanks to, ironically, Danganronpa 3, as well as the very motive in this case. Both show that Mahiru and Hiyoko were pretty tight friends before the killing game happened, so it makes more sense for them to become quick friends.

//The stuff about Fuyuhiko's plan to kill Mahiru I kind of already knew that was the case, I just didn't really explain it that well. The point I was trying to get across was that Fuyuhiko was considering murder, because he's the one who brought the bat, but like you said, there was no guarantee he was going to go through with it once Mahiru gave him his answers.

//Ultimately, while I love Fuyuhiko, I do agree that Mahiru had the moral high ground in that situation. I know that's ironic considering Kuripa, but let's just say that Mahiru's words at least resonated with Fuyuhiko. Kuripa would just ignore them outright.

//Also, no offense, but the gravel swimsuit thing was fairly easy for me to figure out. My main issue is that it was pointless regardless.

//As a bit of a side note; one thing I don't really talk about, but one of my all-time biggest regrets for this blog is the fact that Peko was a main character in Misfortune's Revenge, but I never had her and Marin communicate with each other in emoticons. I mentally punch myself in the face every time I think about what a missed opportunity that was. Sure, it wouldn't have added anything to the plot, but it would have been funny.

//Also, that stuff about the Ultimate Journalist being important, I'll keep that in mind when Brave: Coward's Paradise comes out and we see what Mitsuba brings to the table. But yeah, I don't really know how to feel about Mahiru's death, because I would have liked her to be a survivor, but as you said yourself, we can't have nice things.

//I generally love the whole cast of DR2, but Mahiru is one that I feel was done the dirtiest, because you can't finish her FTE's and see her true nature through them until you get to the post-game content.

//In fact, NicoB even said that Mahiru was one of the best waifu's in the series, but he didn't realize that until he did her FTE's in island mode. In the main game, her role is more like Hiyoko tells people to kill themselves and Mahiru lets her.

//And...yeah, I don't have much of a comment on the rest of this. I do generally agree, and even when I don't, I can't really think of a good enough argument.

//I'm VERY tired.

//Also, I'm not sure which trial in particular you are talking about with this one that you thought would be lower, but I'm going to guess based on past conversations it's either A-1 or A2-4. Unfortunately, I can't say when and where they appear on the list, but I can confirm that both of those reviews have been written, and trust me, I go into LENGTH on my opinion of them.

//But I could just be barking up the wrong tree.

-Mod

[drsoniasharma]

Recovering from Divorce: A Guide to Life Coaching

Even though the outcome of a divorce is usually favorable for both parties involved, the process of going through a divorce is frequently full of great emotional distress. When you get a divorce, the entire trajectory of your life alters. Both individuals will require assistance from others around them as they find their bearings and begin to rebuild their lives.

However, regardless of how supportive your friends and family are, certain situations may be unsuitable to discuss with individuals in your inner circle. You and your spouse may have many mutual friends, and asking those mutual friends for guidance on divorce-related topics may place them in an awkward situation. Thus, you need divorce recovery life coaching from a divorce coach. 

What is a Divorce Coach? 

A divorce coach is a certified mental health expert who walks you through the divorce process. A divorce coach is not a therapist, but they will be a valued ally and sounding board as you manage this new life difficulty. An experienced divorce coach, also a life coach, will help you through the divorce process, not dig into the causes of your divorce.

Is a Divorce Coaching Right for You?

For most people, the idea of divorce/breakup is a life-altering event. It is difficult to make essential decisions when you are emotionally exhausted. Demands and judgments might be perplexing. It can also be hard to get through each day of the process, especially if you are meeting with your legal team or financial consultants to discuss divorce-related matters. You have no idea what steps to follow, how to sort it out, or how long it will take. If this sounds familiar, a divorce life coach can assist you. 

How can a Divorce Coach help you to Stay positive?

1. Helps you to Plan: 

It's easy to become overwhelmed and confused when going through a divorce/breakup. A divorce coach can help you decide what measures to take next and guide you through the process. This assistance can significantly minimize the anxiety and stress typically accompanying you in such a life-altering occurrence. 

2. Help you in Taking Important Decisions: 

When going through a divorce, you'll have to make a lot of significant decisions that can have long-term effects. A divorce coach will assist you in determining what is best for you and your family.

3. Provide you the Emotional Support: 

The emotional support you will receive is one of the most beneficial reasons for hiring a divorce coach.

Legal proceedings can be exhausting, infuriating, and overwhelming. You, your children, and your family are also undergoing a major life transformation, which adds to the stress, tension, and dread. A divorce coach can offer you the assistance you need during this difficult time. 

4. Advice You to Minimize Conflicts:

Divorce is one of the most exhausting life experiences you can go through. People become upset or disappointed when their feelings are disturbed, and they are less likely to compromise.

A high-conflict divorce coach can teach you coping strategies and emotional management so that your divorce is as amicable as possible. This instruction also aids in reducing the emotional impact of your divorce on your children.

In Conclusion, 

Most people seek assistance from their parents, family, and friends during the divorce process. And there is nothing wrong with that at all. However, because these people feel deeply about you, they are not objective. Therefore, they may avoid asking you difficult questions and struggle to hold you accountable for your goals. 

Dr. Sonia Sharma is a well-known life coach who graduated from Columbia University. She has been a professional teacher for around 20 years. Her institution is well-versed in meeting the needs of people seeking English classes, Hindi classes and virtual mental health coaching. If you've been looking for encouragement or feeling overwhelmed by the changes in your life, you need a mentor like her.

[dinogoofy]

Hi I really liked your Kung Lao timeline headcanons, would I be able to request those same types of headcanons with Liu Kang.

ThankyouthankyouTHANKYOU for giving me this request!! It was super fun writing the Kung lao headcannons, and I didn't even think about writing them for Liu Kang! I hope you enjoy!

No tw for this one

Liu Kang timeline headcannons.

Liu Kang was used to being infatuated with the strong men and women around him. But you? You were something different.

You were kind to him and all others, regardless of where they stood on the spectrum of good and evil. You were wise and beautiful and everything a man or woman could want.

And you were in love with him. It was so easy to see. Easy for anyone to see.

At first he had written you off. He had been so incredibly swept off his feet by kitana, he had almost forgotten you. At least, he did for a bit.

When he finally realized he had feelings for you, you had already distanced yourself from him. Content with Kitana having him, because at least he would be happy.

And he missed you. So very much. But he still had feelings for Kitana. He was conflicted, and he came forward to you about it.

You gave honest, unbiased advice for him to think on. You told him that it was okay. That it was easy to get swept up in emotions during this tournament. It was fine for him to love many, as long as he didn't pursue those feelings all at the same time.

You never pushed him to pursue you, or become angry at his feelings for Kitana. You only wanted him to figure out what was best for himself.

That was the moment he was sure he was in love with you. He just about kissed you then and there.

The little bit of time you shared after that day was filled with sneaky stolen kisses, secretive glances, desperate hugs... and sometimes something a little bit more.

Starting a relationship during a life or death tournament wasn't the best idea, but oh, was it wonderful.

But fate always intervenes with star-crossed lovers.

Only Sonia was there to comfort you when Liu Kang was Slain at the hands of Raiden.

It was devastating. Raiden had been like a father to you and so many others. Even if you didn't know the full details on how the fight happened... It hurt. It hurt so bad. You couldn't look at Raiden the same again. You couldn't bare the thought of seeing Liu Kang's revenant.

Once you had done everything you could for Raiden and earthrelm, you retired from that life. You went home, spent time with loved ones, found a new job, and continued on as best as you could. You could never bring yourself to love another no matter how many years passed.

When the past and present fused, it was little Cassie who asked for your help. They were going to need a lot of man-power to defeat chronica. What else could you do but rush to help your old friends?

You freeze up when you see Liu and your younger self.

They just looked... so happy. So naive.

Even so, you find yourself smiling while watching them. The younger you had so much potential in her timeline. You almost prayed that she'd get to experience it with Liu.

Liu had already respected you and your older self, but when he becomes the fire God, and defeats chronica, and then Shang Tsung, he has all of history at his finger tips. When he sees just how you had suffered while mourning his death, that respect only becomes greater.

He has history bending to his will, and even if Raiden called it naive, Liu couldn't stop himself from giving you a happy ending. How would a small detail like that be of any concern to the thunder God anyway?

Mabye one day he would have the courage to ask you to stay with him and the hourglass till the end of time. But for now, he was content with having the thought as a daydream.

But when that day did come, it came bearing many gifts. Like kisses, and hugs, and open affection without any care of who would see. After all, it would only be just the two of you forever.

[a-tale-of-legends]

The Part Where They Finally Talk( Part 2)

Summary: She feels like she's drowning. From the bed sheets or her own thoughts, she doesn't know. It's all been....so much. Was it really worth it? Did she do the right thing? Was this....all for nothing?

There's a knock on the door.

" Eli? Eli, it's me, Alex. You awake?"

Or

The twins finally have a long-overdue talk. It's not much, but it's a start.

Word Count: 937

Notes: Part 2 of the birthday fics for Alexis and Elliot! Also Elliot. Elliot my beloved. Elliot you sweet summer child. I should have done this bit with Alexis, but you get it. Very dialogue-heavy! And shorter, but I think it still gets the point across.Happy birthday to my favorite twins! And I hope you enjoy :)

~~~

"Yeah, I'm up! Give me a second!" Elliot calls back, sluggishly getting out of the hotel bed, and making her way to open the room's door. When she opens it, Alex already has his arms wrapped around her in a hug.

"Whoa! Did something happen?! Are you okay-"

"Yeah, I'm fine I just-" he lets go from the hug, " I just felt like you needed it,"

"Needed it? What do you- wait come inside, I'm not doing this standing up," Elliot moves to the side to let her brother in her hotel room, to which he immediately flopped on her bed, face first. Can't blame him, it's a long day.

Closing the door behind her, Elliot flops onto the bed as well, right next to her brother.

" So, you said I needed a hug?" she asks, to which Alex merely groans in the sheets.

" This bed is so soft," he groans, then turns his face sideways, looking at Elliot, " But yeah. We just protected a city from falling to the apocalypse. The kids were already fast asleep when I went looking for them, so you're the next target," Elliot couldn't help but giggle at that. Her being Alex's next "target" for hugs. It's sweet.

The Darkest Day 2.0 ( at least that's what Sonia calls it) was a bad scenario that turned worse. The kids didn't give them the full details of what happened at the power plant, but from how Leon looked, and how tired they looked, words weren't necessary. It just sucks how the kids basically had to go through something similar to what they did all that time ago. Screw that destiny bullshit, they didn't deserve to face that thing on their own.

" Yeah, I'm fine. I'm more worried about the kids, if anything," She hears Alex hum in agreement, turning over to be on his back now.

" We can talk to them tomorrow when they're awake. Help them get through the flurry of emotions that's gonna hit them," Elliot couldn't help but nod. The adrenaline rush from taking down Team Plasma left out any other emotion that would come after. She remembers crying to herself when she woke up that morning. No doubt the kids must be going through something similar.

" Hey, Eli,"

"Hm?"

" I'm sorry," Huh?!

"What? What are you apologizing for? You did nothing wrong-"

" I made you feel like you can't be honest with me for years," Alex says, finally sitting up, " You brought me here to try and fix things, right? Or try to get a better understanding? And I've robbed you from that and I'm so, so, sorry,"

Elliot stares at her brother, her mouth hanging open, and her eyes wide like saucers. Did- did she hear that right? Like. Did she???

" Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait- I- wait for no-" She runs her hands through her locks, " You shouldn't be the one apologizing to me! I should be the one apologizing to you!"

Alex blinks.

"What?!"

"You were going through a lot! A-and I just wanted to help, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything so I just- watched you suffer," she buries her face into her hands, her tears starting to flow, " If I wasn't such a coward and just told you how I felt, this whole conflict between us could have been avoided! Me dragging you to Galar would have been avoided! Naomi and her friends probably wouldn't have-"

"Okay I'm going to stop you right there," Alex's eyes are glassy and stern, " First of all, what happened today was not your fault! It was no one except Rose. You helped save a city, and Naomi, Hop, and Carol were already inside the Power Plant before we could have done anything!"

Alexis then raised two fingers, " Secondly, you bringing me to Galar was the best thing you could have done for me. I reflected a lot here, more than I thought I would. Hell, I even started battling again! I thought I'd never do that again!"

If this was to stop Elliot from crying, it failed miserably. Tears are flowing down her cheeks as they did all those years ago, her heart swelling. She can't pinpoint the feeling she's experiencing right now, but it's growing big and fast.

" Alex, please-"

" I'm not okay, Eli. I.....I haven't been for years," He averts his gaze, " I always thought your unconditional support for me was a waste of time. That I'm not worth the effort and you should just stop so I don't end up hurting you,"

"It's kinda shitty for you to assume my emotion, dude," Elliot sniffs. Though she's a hypocrite. She's been doing the same.

" Yeah, I realize that," Alex scratches the back of his neck, chuckling sheepishly, " I also realized that you being there for me helped me so much, even if I thought I was a lost cause,"

" You made sure I ate well and was drinking water. You took time out of your schedule to come to visit me at the Daycare. Eli, you made my life so much better!"

"Eli you...you are the best sister I could ever ask for. Ever. So I don't want to hear anything about you messing things up okay?" Teary eyes and her heart full, Elliot flung her arms around her brother.

" I love you, Eli," Alex whispers, hugging her back. She hugs him a little tighter.

" I love you too, Alex,"

~~~

"Oh, and I confessed to Leon,"

" You did what?!"

[aion-rsa]

15 Strongest Pokémon… Emotionally

https://ift.tt/2TyXgQ6

The world of Pokémon is a hard and cruel place. It takes a tough Pokémon to stand tough and survive, which doesn’t make it a suprise that some of the most celebrated Pokémon could also be considered the strongest.

For all the lessons of friendship, Pokémon Centers, and jelly donut flavored rice balls, it’s not easy living in the world of Pokémon. In fact, it can be downright cruel for some. That’s why we want to honor an elite selection of Pokémon that are the most powerful, toughest, unassailable, and strongest…emotionally.

Because let’s face it, any Pokémon that can survive fear of death, rejection, imposter syndrome, or questionable hair choices can almost certainly beat Eternatus.

Charmander

Death comes for us all, but Charmanders have it especially rough. It’s been said that a Charmander dies if the flame on its tail is extinguished. That means that a Charmander must live in constant fear of anything that could put out its flame. Water, strong winds, and sand (coarse and rough as it is) kill up to 2000 Charmanders a year (we presume). If only there was a way to donate Pokémon pennies a day and help Charmanders everywhere live free of the fear of death.

Jigglypuff

Rejection. We can all remember times we’ve felt it. Maybe it was a lost crush, not getting that job, or never getting to control the playlist in the car because you once made the mistake of letting “Misty’s Song” play on a road trip and your friends never forgot it. Jigglypuff gets that. Every time it attempts to sing, its audience falls asleep. If a Jigglypuff sings a song and no one is there to hear it, did it ever make a sound?

Dugtrio (Alola Version)

Keeping your hair well maintained is tough even on the best days. Now imagine your defining trait is that you use your entire body to dig out of the ground. How are you supposed to keep those luscious locks full and silky through such a process? I’m bald, so I genuinely have no idea, but Alola Dugtrios have somehow mastered the art. How? If we ever learned their secret, all wars would probably end, all criminal organizations would dissolve, and at that moment, we may understand the secrets of the universe. Or they’d just let us know the name of their stylist.

Team Rocket’s Meowth

How far have you gone for love? Did you walk 500 miles? Did you ride on a piano for 1000 miles? What did you do? I can guarantee it wasn’t anything close to what Team Rocket’s Meowth did when he became the only Pokémon to learn to speak human to impress the lady Meowth he loved. And what did he get for it? He was called a freak.

Team Rocket’s Meowth may fail every week, but he goes on despite the pain. Every day he does, he’s stronger than all of us.

Abra

Multiple years in therapy have taught me you can’t run from your problems; you have to face them head-on. Sure, you can avoid sadness by avoiding problems, but in the process, you run the risk of avoiding happiness. I think about Abra in therapy sometimes because all it can do is escape via teleportation. That its only significant power. The mental walls it must have built up can surely withstand any attack, physical or emotional.

Unless, of course, you play M2M’s “Don’t Say You Love Me” from Pokémon: The First Movie’s soundtrack. That could make a grown Tyranitar cry.

Electrode

One might think that Voltorb could easily share this slot with Electrode, but there’s a key difference. Voltorbs are young and innocent. They haven’t lived enough life to know how sad it is when it all self-destructs on you. Electrodes know. They’ve loved, they’ve lost, they have families, and they have careers. But to self-destruct is what an Electrode must do, and it does it well.

Cubone

Everyone and their Rattata knows that Cubones wear the skulls of their dead mothers. What people fail to consider is that every single Cubone in the world shares that same backstory. Why are all Marowaks eventually killed? Is it the birthing process? What immediately deteriorates their skulls for Cubones to wear? Whatever it is, a Cubone becomes tough as rocks from the moment it’s born, and no one can stand up to a Pokémon that can handle that level of grief.

Or it’s all a big scam. If you look closely, the skull Cubone wears is not an exact replica of a Marowak. What are they trying to hide, huh? Is Mr. Fuji trying to drive tourists to Lavender Town? If that is the case, then Cubones have been running an incredible racket for years and deserve to be on this list solely for the power it takes to deceive everyone in the Pokémon world.

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Chansey

“A Machamp who thinks it’s strong has never been a Chansey in a Pokémon center.” – Pokémon proverb (probably).

Chansey must heal hundreds, if not thousands, of sick and injured Pokémon a day. The mental strain they endure must be immense, but Chansey does it all with a smile. That’s powerful. It also has to handle customer service at Pokémon Centers, and that might make it even more powerful. After all, the only thing that’s harder than a battle with a Palkia is dealing with the ninth person today asking to see your Nurse Joy manager.

Staryu

Every time Staryu emerges from its Poké Ball it screams, “HYAH.” Is this a battle tactic to frighten its opponents… or is it something deeper? A cry for help? A plea to stop this senseless conflict? Perhaps Staryu screams hoping the eternal void will scream back.

Mewtwo

Oh sure, you can catch one at level 70 and it already knows the Psychic ability, but that isn’t why Mewtwo is powerful. It’s powerful because it’s burdened with teenage angst. “WHY WAS I CREATED?” it asks. I don’t know, Mewtwo. Put it on your Xanga, I’m trying to play Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater.

When Mewtwo grows up it’ll take some serious time to scrub all that cringe from its social media profiles.

Marill

The year is 1999. Leaked screenshots of a blue Pokémon can be found all over the internet and tales of it spread to schoolyards around the world. Marill, the Pokémon pictured, is excited! It wasn’t sure if it’d be accepted after the unprecedented success of the first 150 Pokémon, but people already love it! It sneaks into the back of an elementary school class to hear the good word of mouth about itself.

“I can’t wait to catch Pikablu!” says nearly every child in the classroom. Marill’s blood turns cold. Marill tries to stop the rumors, but it’s too late. By 2001, the excitement is long gone. Children spot Marill and greet him with scorn. “Oh, that was all just a rumor. Marill sucks.”

To this day Marill can take a blast of Thunder right to its face because no pain can match the blow to its self-confidence that it received during that horrific time.

Shuckle

Here he comes, rougher than the rest of them. The best of them, tougher than leather. You can call him Shuckle, unlike Squirtle, he doesn’t chuckle. He gets on the dance floor and shuffles.

Being a Shuckle is hard, man. Look at those little legs.

Jirachi

Wish granting. It’s an ability with limitless potential, but Jirachi does not grant wishes for itself. No, it must grant wishes for others. That means it has to put up with adults desperately wishing their parents didn’t throw away their old Pokémon cards because they swear they had a 1999 First Edition Mint Charizard Holo that they could use to finally pay off their crippling student debt. Please, oh please Jirachi make my wish come true.

Putting up with that takes a mind of steel.

Rotom Pokédex

The internet is filled with “Who’s the strongest of X franchise?” debates. In those debates, people discuss strength, speed, defenses, and more. What they fail to consider is that the most powerful force is often information. You can’t beat someone who knows your every weakness. You can’t run from someone who knows your past.

Rotom Pokédex is living information. The moment it sees you, it knows you. What does it know? What sins can it see? Maybe forfeiting the fight is better than the possibility of your dark past being revealed to the world.

Ash’s Pikachu

All Ash’s Pikachu wants is to grow, but he can’t. It would hurt the brand. Kids love Pikachu! He can’t evolve!

“Please!” Pikachu begs. “I don’t want to evolve but please let me grow! If you won’t, I’m leaving!”

The Pokémon Company looks down on him and shakes their heads.

“Sure, Pikachu,” they say. “You can leave, but you know, our profits would go way down and we’d have to lay off half the staff. You don’t want that to happen, right? Sonia’s got five kids at home. What will they think when she tells them she lost her job because of Pikachu?”

So Pikachu carries on, the weight of responsibility on its shoulders every day.

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The post 15 Strongest Pokémon… Emotionally appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2UHUYyD

[photochoco]

The Protagonist

Leon’s lil bro has a best friend. She’s...too good at Pokemon. She’s never lost a battle, and the normal rules of raising them doesn’t seem to apply to her. It’s a phenomenon Leon himself is all too familiar with, and he will NOT let her feel alone like he did.

--- Leon looked around restlessly. Oh boy. He really was pants with directions, even he could admit that, but he was certain she would be around here, Hop had said as much. He heard a sniffle come from behind a large pile of rocks. 

Ah. 

He peeked around it and saw a familiar beret-topped wave of brunette hair. He silently thanked the Poke’ Gods that his lil bro knew how much his best friend loved to wear berets. The last few times he had seen her, she seemed just as chipper as Hop. But right now she was curled up against the stone, her knees drawn up to her chest and her face buried in her arms. Not at all chipper. 

He knelt down in front of her, cape swishing. “Gloria?”

The young girl’s head shot up, revealing a blotchy face and watering eyes. She sniffled again and hurriedly wiped her cheeks. Leon offered a comforting smile. 

“Hey kiddo. What’s got ya down? Did you lose a battle?” he asked.

Gloria looked away, and Leon wasn’t sure if that was confirmation or not. His worries made him hope it was the case.

“Don’t let it get you down, even the best Trainers have to lose a couple. The important thing is--” “I didn’t,” a tiny voice interrupted the Champion.

“Ah- oh?” “I won. Hope challenged me to a battle again, and I won. Again,” Gloria mumbled.

Leon cocked his head in visible confusion, but his insides were already starting to squirm with long-harbored suspicions. Even still, he played the unwitting one.

“Huh. Well, I wouldn’t think that’d be a reason for tears now,” he said. 

Gloria’s grip on her arms tightened and her brow furrowed. She looked like she was struggling to decide if she wanted to say something.

“...Can you keep a secret?” she finally asked.

“Of course I can,” Leon replied immediately. “I may be garbage with directions, but I can keep a secret.” Gloria took a breath. 

“I think there’s something wrong with me. I don’t think I’m normal. Or maybe my...maybe my Pokemon aren’t normal? Every person I come across who challenges me to a battle, I beat them easily. My Pokemon are always several levels higher than anyone else’s, and they...they level up faster, too. People are always telling me how hard it can be to raise a Pokemon, and how it’s even harder to balance raising a full team of 6. I had a full team of 6 by the first Gym, and I never had any trouble with it! And Hop...every time he fights me, I beat him so easily, even though I know he trains as hard as, if not harder than me. So why am I so far ahead of him? Why am I so far ahead of everybody?”

Her eyes start to water, threatening to spill over. 

“Hop, and two other Challengers, B-Bede and M-Marnie...they all decided to be my rivals so they could beat me someday. And they all have something to gain and lose in this tournament. Marnie wants to help her hometown. Bede was endorsed by Mr. Rose, apparently. He wants to prove Mr. Rose’s faith was well placed. And Hop…” she trailed off, like she didn’t want to say the reason. Leon knew, but he didn’t say anything. He’d known for a while.

“But they haven’t beaten me yet, none of them have ever come close. And I...I d-don’t-- think they ever will. I like my rivals, they’re my friends, battling them is fun. But every time I win, I can see them grow a little more frustrated. Every time I win and they lose, they wonder what they’re doing wrong. I don’t want-- I don’t--”

The tears started to flow now, as fast as the words from the young girl’s mouth.

“W-Wh-hat if they--wh-at i-f they h-h-hate me? What if they d-d-don’t like m-me an-nymore because I-- because I alw-ways win? What if Hop starts to hate me? What if--” “Hey hey hey kiddo, slow down. Take a deep breath c’mon now, you’re gonna make yourself silly. Here.” Leon offered the edge of his cape, and Gloria dabbed at her swollen watery eyes, sniffling. 

“Am I a-- a b-bad person for always wh-wh-winning?” Gloria whispered. Leon sighed.

“No. You’re not a bad person Gloria. But unfortunately, your unusual talent for Pokemon training and battling isn’t normal.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “You might’ve figured this out already but I think you’re a Protagonist.”

Gloria stiffened. “How did you- how do you know about--” Leon chuckled. “Why do you think I’m the Unbeatable Champion, kid? My battle style of not holding back is because I’m literally incapable of it. Even if I try to hold back, I still win. And lemme tell ya, it has been a blessing and a curse.”

“So...so you knew? About this, about me, being a...Protagonist?” Gloria asked. “Weeelllll...I had an inkling. When I saw all your Gym matches so far, and how easily you won...it reminded me of myself when I was doing the Gym Challenge. At first I thought I just had a talent, but when I started hearing about how other Trainers more skilled than me had lost matches while I hadn’t, I started to wonder if I was more than just talented. And just like you, Raihan and Sonia, my own rivals, never beat me.” Leon seated himself next to Gloria, leaning against the rock. “I understand how difficult this must be for you, Gloria. When I was your age, I sometimes squabbled with my rivals because they grew frustrated they couldn’t beat me, especially Sonia. I think Raihan was just as frustrated, but he’s never really shown it.” He caught Gloria’s distraught look and quickly held up his hands. “W-We’re all still really good friends though, don’t worry! It’s good to have rivals, but we all found other things to strive for other than beating each other in battles. Though her gran initially pushed her into it, I think Sonia really enjoys the work she does now. She was always the smartest of the three of us. The point is,” Leon continued, putting a comforting arm around Gloria’s shoulders, “It’s true, you didn’t ask for this. And it’ll be up to you what you do with this ability, it can be both a blessing and a curse. A double-edged sword, if you will. You can’t lose if you try, but if you don’t try, are you really respecting your abilities and those of your opponents?” “But! If I don’t hold back, they’ll never beat me! It doesn’t matter because I’ll always win, no matter how skilled they get!” Gloria nearly shouted in her protest.

Leon’s mouth twisted and he closed his eyes, clearly thinking hard about his reply. “I’m no good at fancy talk, but think about it like this. You may not think it matters, but your rivals probably look up to you as something to attain. Even if it’s impossible for them, it pushes them far beyond what they would normally be capable of. Even in the world of Pokemon training, like any other craft, perfection is impossible, but something all people strive towards. It’s what we do as humans. People like you and I are just...a little closer than everyone else. But we aren’t perfect either. Think about what you want to use your gift for. After a lot of thought, I decided I wanted to maintain my status as an unbeatable Champion after seeing how inspired it made people.” Gloria’s eyes were still watering and she looked up at him, tearful. Even though she was Hop’s age and less than half Leon’s, she looked very small. 

“...Am I a bad person for feeling so ungrateful like this?” she asked in a tiny voice. “No,” Leon answered immediately. “You’re just a kid, Gloria. I was just a kid, too. And looking back, I wish I had someone to help me understand why I was too good at Pokemon. You’ll always have your mom, and you’ll always have Hop, too. You two rascals grew up together; even when he acts frustrated after losing, he cares about you too much to let this get in the way of your friendship. So chin up, okay kiddo?” 

Leon draped part of his cape over Gloria’s head and offered another grin, this one much wider. Gloria returned it with a watery one of her own. Leon opened his arm out. “C’mere squirt.” Gloria practically fell into Leon’s side, burying her face in the fluffy fringe of his cape and hugging him tightly. 

“You’ll be fine, Gloria. You got your Pokemon, you got Hop, and now you got me, too. If you ever want someone to talk to about this, give me a ring. I’ll always try to make time if you need it.”

Gloria let go and sat up, wiping away the last of her tears. “Think you might have some time to eat some curry? I got some new ingredients,” she said. “Now that sounds like a champion idea! Howsabout you call Hop too, and we can all cook together. The more fans and ladles in the cauldron, the tastier!”

---

A friend and I had this inside joke that all player characters in Pokemon are probably REALLY weird to all the NPC’s because they have BPE (Big Protagonist Energy), like running around wildly, standing in one place for a long time, never emoting, and being ridiculously OP compared to everyone else. It’s often said by NPC’s that raising a team of 6 Pokemon is super hard but as the protag it’s super easy, you also usually don’t lose battles ever if you train enough. (I’ve only lost a battle once to an NPC in all my years of playing.) I then realized that a lot of the qualities of The Protagonist also apply to Leon from SWSH, and I fell in love with the idea of him realizing there’s another Protagonist in Galar, and how he reacts, as detailed in this post here. In my own playthrough I felt pretty bad about constantly beating my rivals with absolutely minimal effort cuz they were really trying and had something to prove from beating me.

So then of course I had to write about him confronting a very conflicted Gloria and comforting her and offering advice, gaining a Baby Sister in the process.  That being said do NOT tag this as LeonxGloria or LeonxYuumi or whatever, this is NOT a ship fic and in this iteration Gloria is a literal kid and Leon is an adult. 

[gcods]

lightcreators said: " Tsumiki-san, let's have another wonderful year full of happiness together! " (from sonia nevermind @ mikan)

                      ❝ Y- Yes —! ❞

                               determination woven into the word, she answered;   always so eager to please her superiors but then again the SHSL PRINCESS was on a completely different level, probably not even the same building... so maybe she had that effect on everybody ------- no, that was too conceited of someone like her; to forget her place as less than even for a moment... good thing saionjisan always took the time to remind her, but it’s fine. because she doesn't shy away from attention. no matter how bad or how good. the fact remained: SHE WAS UNDESERVING OF IT - BECAUSE SHE WAS UNFORGIVABLE. she knows it as a fact. she doesn’t deserve any of it--- she doesn’t deserve to be in the same room with them, she doesn’t derve to have nanamisan’s courtesy extended to her. she doesn’t deserve kindness or happy birthday wishes--- yet they still... they humor her, (WHY  WON’T THE BULLY HER? WHY WERE THEY BEING KIND?) does that mean they don’t really care about her, what happens to her, her existence? being kind to someone like her because she’s not worth anything more --- BECAUSE SHE’S UNFORGIVABLE, A NUCIANCE & THE DAMNED. because she doesn’t do enough to entertain them? because - because... ahhh, she should stop, what was it ryoutasan said about having more--- u , um confidence in herself ... haha. right. 

               still as undeserving as she was, she hadn’t expected anyone to truly take time out of their day to actually entertain her--- ahh, why was she surprised, this year, her classmates were different. it’s hard to concur whether it’s a good different or not... it’s different. a strange difference that nearly reduces her to tears IT’S CONFLICTING. ALL THESE EMOTIONS & FEELINGS PACKED INSIDE. the world's truth & how it works vs. nanamisan, soniasan & the rest... it had almost been pleasant & joyful to have the opportunity to spend every single moment of her time with them. as a classmate --- without being afraid; afraid of the wrong thing being said, afraid of that leading to a knee - jerk reaction, AFRAID OF THEN SPORTING BRUISES UPON HER UGLY SKIN. afraid of them getting tired of her antics, bored of her, seeing her for what she truly is--- a hideous girl who isn’t worth their time, a stupid dimwit who’s only capable of providing shallow entertainment at the price of her body. a girl who's so unforgivable--- she deserves to be forgotten. without meaning, tears start to pour. she’s not sure of what the case really is--- whether the change is good: but she feels so lucky to be at this moment. here with them. every moment of every day. two more wonderful years of such joy is surely more than she deserves. 

                         ❝ uuu HIC --- HIC  thank you so much nevermindsan! I - I promise! I’ll try my best too! I’ll de - definitely do all that I can to --- HIC HIC help out everyone! uwhaaa th - thank you so much for being kind to someone as dirty as me! l - l - let’s definitely have a - another happy y - year t - t- t-together aaa  ------!  ❞    /// (  ♡.  accepting.  /  @lightcreators​ .  )

[agentravensong]

So, about that Pokemon announcement...

I’m... slightly disappointed by the main reveal of today’s direct? Don’t get me wrong, I already bought the expansion pack, and I’m looking forward to all the new incoming content. And Avery’s reveal has only further proven that I made the right decision for myself in purchasing Shield version.

I’m not disappointed because I think this is content that should have been in the main game. Like, in an ideal world, it would have been. But that’s not the world we live in. The world we live in is capitalist. As this video points out, Game Freak has to make these games on a tight schedule so that every other subsidiary of the Pokemon Company - the anime, the manga, the toys, all that - can have new products to sell. They can’t just give themselves more time, they have to put out something for every holiday season.

The thing is... That’s exactly why I was hoping for a third version for this gen. 

Not a third version like Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon, which were basically the same games for the first half (it’s been a while since I played but I’m pretty sure the start is just as slow as the originals), and then ruined the original’s games emotional story centered around the Aether family in the second half with its changes to Lusamine. If the Necrozma/Ultra Recon Squad stuff and the Rainbow Rocket postgame quest had been a DLC pack (with some tweaks), I doubt many fans would have objected. Of all people’s criticisms of Sun and Moon, I don’t remember “incomplete” being one of them. 

But with these new games, as fun as I’m sure the additional content will be in its own right, the fact that we’re not getting a third version means that the team will never get the chance to rework the main story. And that’s something I was looking forward to. 

I keep imagining a version of these games where it doesn’t take ages to get to the first gym. Where Hop’s potential interest in being a professor is foreshadowed in the main game. Where Team Yell are more than just roadblocks, and Marnie is as important to the story as Bede and Hop (which there were already wasted opportunities for in these games but oh well).

A version where the villain plot, the part where there are actual stakes and our character has any agency, wasn’t forced in two halves right before the “elite four” and the champion fight. Where Rose’s motivations get properly explored, making your defeating him feel much less anticlimactic. Where Leon actually argues against the potential consequences of Rose’s plan in that one scene, leading to a full discussion of their opposing ideologies, instead of Leon just asking Rose not to set things into motion on this one arbitrary day.

A version where the historical background we learn alongside Sonia is all directly relevant (remember when there was a conflict over whether there was one legendary hero or two? remember how that never mattered?) and builds up to the final conflict, instead of just laying the bare groundwork, meandering along, and then “Oh hey player, Rose just summoned this other legendary I know the name of but I nor anyone else have literally never even hinted at the existence of! Can you go deal with that?”

A version where we could get to read her book. An excerpt from it, even.

If the team had made sequels to Sword and Shield, they would have been able to build on the previous games to create a more developed, well thought out version of them. A version with a better-paced narrative, that makes better use of its characters, and goes even further with its themes of living with legacy and passing the mantle on to the next generation. The kind of game we all imagined Sword and Shield could be when they were first revealed, or at least something closer to it.

But they didn’t. And, saying this for the third time, I am very much looking forward to the DLC content. It’s just... I was hoping for something else for these games specifically. Something that will now never get to exist.

[mirandagoing4baroque]

Field of Streams: Ariodante, in Concert, While Making Lasagna

The English Concert was supposed to perform Rodelinda in concert at Carnegie Hall on May 3rd 2020. Obviously they did not. In some ways I am lucky--if the Met hadn’t done Agrippina I might have made plans come to New York to see Rodelinda instead. It wouldn’t be unprecedented. In fact, in 2014, I finally got to call in an IOU over a decade old. As I mentioned on this blog, when I was in kindergarten and first heard Alcina, I managed to get my father to promise to take me to see Alcina live whenever it came to the east coast. And more than twenty years later we finally got to see the English Concert perform it in concert in Carnegie Hall. In the intervening years there was a debate about whether Toronto counted as the east coast, but my father insisted that he had only meant the east coast of the United States. And when the English Concert brought Ariodante on tour in 2017 they were kind enough to take the show to the Kennedy Center which was considerably more convenient.

As a replacement for the aforementioned cancelled Rodelinda concert, they streamed a recording of the Ariodante in Concert recorded at and live streamed from Carnegie Hall in 2017. As I mentioned above, I was lucky enough to see this concert at the Kennedy Center when it was touring, and I also watched the stream at the time, and then I rewatched it when it was streamed again this past weekend (twice, I regret nothing). So I am, shall we say, intimately familiar with this production.

Opera in concert is an interesting phenomena. I’ve seen three operas in concert (Alcina, Ariodante, Zelmira) and a few others that were only ‘semi-staged’ (Don Giovanni 2x, Radamisto, Giulio Cesare at Boston Baroque). Well, Miranda, you say, “the monkey paw has curled, and you got what you wished for in the Acis and Galatea review, an opera stripped of any ‘razzle dazzle’ or distractions. So, can the emotional drama stand alone?” On this subject I cannot speak for anyone other than myself but I believe it can and it does. I am sure that there are those for whom the grand sets and costumes are an integral part of the experience, and that is a legitimate position to take, but not one to which I ascribe.

However, especially in these times, watching operas in concert (stay tuned for my review of the Boston Baroque Agrippina stream) makes me think about what the bare essentials of opera are. The sets and costumes are fun, sure, and all other things being equal, I would rather have sets and costumes and the full spectacle. And they can cover a multitude of sins. It is far more difficult to create an entertaining production when it is just the orchestra, the singers, and an empty stage. But this production is, to me, as moving as some fully staged productions I’ve seen. So what is the immutable core of these operas? What is it that I am searching for when I am “Going for Baroque?”

The value I find in opera is as an emotional touchstone. This is not a novel concept, and I am not the first, or even the thousandth to think it. Why it is Baroque Opera for me and Jazz or R&B for you, I cannot say,* but when I hear this music performed well my heart (or my soul, or my grey matter, or whatever the thing is that is that feels the feels) stirs in response. So what I am looking for when I am going to an opera is not a spectacle. I am looking for a conflict that put the characters through a variety of feelings, music that is performed with care in a baroque style, and singers and musicians who will sing or play with pathos, so I can have the transcendental experience of sharing an emotional response with a room of strangers, and most importantly, with my father. We have been watching many of the same streams, and sharing our thoughts over the telephone but it’s not the same as sitting next to him in a hushed auditorium and seeing, out of the corner of my eye, a small small creep across his face as the horns come in because he knows they are my favorite. I am counting down the days until we can share this again.

But enough philosophizing. Let’s review the stream. So we know the standard, how did this production measure up? Well, I watched it four times, so that’s a hint. In fact as to music performed in the Baroque style, this performance could be considered a gold standard (of course along with the Glyndebourne Giulio Cesare). I am such a sucker for period instruments. To my ear the difference between Baroque Opera performed with and without period instruments is the difference between your average red wine vinegar, and an expensive aged balsamic. The red wine vinegar is fine, but the aged balsamic has a far more interesting, layered, intense flavor. This is especially true with respect to brass, where the natural horn is basically a completely different instrument from the french horn. The English Concert has never once disappointed me. Harry Bicket is always a master of the correct tempo, but in this concert, the flowing dance rhythms that undergird the arias really shone.

So next up we have a drama that puts the characters through a variety of feelings. If you need a refresher on the plot of Ariodante, I covered it earlier here (and if you’re too lazy to click the link, think the Hero/Claudius plot from Much Ado About Nothing), but there is no debating that it certainly takes the characters on a roller coaster of emotional situations. The stellar cast dug deeply into the libretto and squeezed every drop of feeling from Handel’s brilliant arias. Ariodante was composed when Handel was at the peak of his operatic abilities and it contains some of his most sublime music. 

Mirroring the tasteful stylings of the orchestra the cast had subtle but effective ornamentations in the da capo sections that elevated the theme but did not obscure it (no mean feat in such arias as “Dopo Notte”).  The King of Scotland was played by Matthew Brook, who I do not believe I had seen before and nor have I seen him since. I really enjoyed his performance and he was an especially capable actor. He leaned into the paternal aspects of the role, and I found his emotional arc quite moving. David Portillo was a wonderful Lurcanio, and I still hope to see him again in something (hint, hint, DC directors). I particularly enjoyed his “Tu Vivi.”  In this aria Lurcanio tries to dissuade his brother Ariodante from choosing suicide after seeing a woman they believe (incorrectly) to be Ginevra let a man into her rooms. It is often sung in a rage, which allows for blistering speed and impressive displays of vocal prowess, but in David Portillo’s interpretation, it was a desperate plea to save his brother's life. By toning the aria down a notch, he accessed some very interesting interpersonal and emotional drama that added novel layers to a familiar aria.

This was my first time hearing Sonia Prina live, but I had fallen in love with her voice on many Baroque recordings. She has a wonderful vibrancy and fluidity  in her lower register, which is particularly critical for women playing Polinesso, in my opinion. Sometimes they can sound a little stilted in the low runs, but she had full power and flexibility. I also appreciated her aesthetic. The punk rock bad guy Polinesso she portrayed was believable as a love interest for Dalinda, and as a villain. It is not her fault that Polinesso’s arias are all a little one note (think Iago’s extensive monologues in Othello).

I absolutely adored Mary Bevan’s Dalinda. I hadn’t heard her prior to this concert, and I eagerly await my next opportunity (still waiting......). She was believable as a young woman who fell in love with the wrong manipulative man and made a mistake. I loved her portrayal of the rising horror throughout the second half as she realized what was going on. I always love "Neghittosi, or voi che fate?", the aria where she calls on the heavens to strike down the man who wronged her, but I found her interpretation to be a particularly affecting vision of female empowerment and rejecting the notion that she was culpable, and laying the blame squarely at the feet of Polinesso, where it belongs.

This was also my introduction to Christiane Karg, who was a vocal standout as Ginevra. I would have liked a little more emotion from her, but, as I’ve acknowledged above, I like my Handel drama cranked to eleven, so that may just be personal preference. Regardless of the acting, her singing was note-perfect and I have no real complaints.

Which brings us at last to Joyce DiDonato. Her performance in this production is one of my most treasured concert memories, and the kind of magic you are just grateful to bear witness to. Any performance of “Scherza Infida” is a miracle of acting and vocal stamina. As I said in my last review of Ariodante, the song is 12 minutes long, and contains four lines of distinct lyrics. To hold the audience’s attention with no prancing dancers in nude bodysuits, with only your voice and the music--that is a gift. But you can google reviews of this production and read critics who know far more about this than I do raving about her “Scherza Infida” and her “Dopo Notte.” I want to talk about the redheaded stepchild of Ariodante’s third act arias “"Cieca notte." This is the moment when Ariodante learns that he was fooled--that he was betrayed by his beloved, that in fact he has betrayed her. (Apparently I have a thing for arias in which Handelian heros realize they have been fooled, see also, “Mi Lusinga” from Alcina) To watch her sing this aria, and to see the distinct waves of realization rolling across Ariodante’s soul as the aria progresses is to watch a master at work. I will at some point write up my magnum opus on how, when properly performed, da capo arias should replicate the structure of the Hegelian Dialectic, but that is a problem for another day.

So there it is, how you can strip away all but the absolute essential bits from an opera and still have a dynamic, dramatic, engrossing evening (even when you’ve seen the thing three times already). Because for me, I got what I needed out of it. I felt that resonance in my soul. I found a little comfort in these times. It’s no replacement for live opera, but it soothed a bit my parched throat. Okay, I lied, I do have a few things to say about “Dopo Notte.” Ever since I watched this stream, I’ve been listening to “Dopo Notte,” the bravura aria Ariodante sings at the end of the show, rejoicing in his reunion with Genevra, almost every day, because it is the tonic I need during these times (you can listen here if you think it might be the tonic your soul needs too). It is a promise I make to myself; permission to let myself hope. A promise that the sun will shine again, that these dark and stormy waters will not drag us under, and that someday I will sit next to my father in a dark opera house, and we will once again share in the experience of Handel’s glorious music.

“After a dark night, the sun shines in the heavens and fills the world with joy...”

*It was definitely the brainwashing. 

[stardustwink]

I wanted to talk about swsh bc I’m almost done with post game and I needed to write down my thoughts somewhere so. Here we are. Story spoilers ahead btw. Also a lot of gushing abt the rivals bc they’re my children now

I have. So many feelings about this game. tbh the story could have been so much better (and there was potential for something great. But I think it’s mostly bc I disliked how they built Rose’s character as the main villain, more about that later) but the characters... they’re really good.

First bc they gave us Hop and his insecurities as the rival that always loses even though it’s his dream to be champion too - something I’ve always wanted to see in a rival ever since Blue left me hanging (though I understand, as he was the very first rival and we couldn’t have a full plot heavy pkmn game back then), and that I felt was touched upon in Cheren but not really worked with? Anyway. I’m glad they took the time to add his insecurities and his need to keep up w/ Leon to his character and how he grows past it later, it made me actually feel bad for having to take his dream away from him at the end (though!!!! I’m really glad he’s training to be a professor now, bc it really does fit him better! Making his own path and all that) A very good character imo, definitely going into my fav list. The fact that he takes his Wooloo off the team when he’s conflicted abt his fighting style and puts him back in after making up his mind still makes me a bit emotional if I’m going to be honest :’’)

And then there’s Bede. God he’s!!!!! Such a good character!!!!!! How I missed having a rude rival like that! I loved the way his story was handled (though I did wish he’d appear a bit more...but that’s just bc I like him way too much;;), from starting out as a stuck up jerk to getting tricked and then finding a place to belong after Opal took him in. I have so many thoughts abt him. About how he speaks so politely even though he’s a stuck up brat, about how he wears a watch that is way too big for him bc it was a present from Rose (and how much it fits his character as someone trying desperately to fit into a role he’s been given by a man who didn’t even care to get his wrist size right), how after he turns into the fairy gym leader the watch is nowhere to be seen bc, as Opal says, he doesn’t have to follow anyone’s whims anymore and- at the very end! How he hijacks the competition to battle you bc his disqualification was unfair and he deserved to stand there! The way he looks so much happier and smiles as he accepts defeat! I love this kid so much. also bc his entire color scheme and pkmn choices are my complete aesthetic, the fairy fam is literally A+ (also god will we ever know what happened to his parents??? What’s “ran into some trouble”?? Did they die, or did they abandon him bc of money issues??? @/gamefreak I NEED ANSWERS)

Marnie was adorable too, her slight accent is a very charming addition to her character and the slight foreshadowing of her ties to the last gym were great! Also she’s so cute. I wanna become a team Yell member after seeing her smile. She’s a dark type specialist man!!!!! That’s so cool!!! Why are the rivals so cool!!!! And her relationship with Piers is so cute too, they’re great siblings. I loved that when Piers asked her to become the next gym leader she was like “thanks brother, but I refuse. Im gonna be champion! :)” . Her cheering made the end fights so much better. I just wish we had some more interactions between the three rivals bc hop and bede���s fight was great but I wish marnie interacted more with them ):

Sonia and Leon were also very good. Watching Sonia find herself in her research and become a proper professor during my travels was SO SATISFYING YALL HAVE NO IDEA. Her interactions with Leon were so great too, and I’m very happy that she’s good friends with Nessa! Leon is a dork and I also love him, and I kinda enjoy that they both took the role of investigators and let the kids continue w/ the gym challenge by themselves (finally some responsible adults not leaving all the problems for 10-13 yr olds to solve am I right!). Also, LEON PLEASE TELL YOUR BROTHER YOURE PROUD OF HIM HE REALLY NEEDS TO HEAR IT!!!!

but I’ve praised swsh long enough so let’s talk about Rose. I felt like he was an attempt by nintendo at first to try and portray a corrupt businessman but they ended up not following through w/ it and the end result was....that. Don’t get me wrong; there are some points abt him that I enjoy, like the terrible fact that he basically ‘adopted’ a kid to use for his own benefit and couldn’t even remember his name properly, and that he wears dorky clothes off work. But they tried making his motives sympathetic and they didn’t make any sense??? What’s up with “being worried about the future of Galar” when he LITERALLY ALMOST CAUSED THE APOCALYPSE?? Being worried about not having enough energy for the country to survive after like 10000 years ain’t a good motivation for putting everyone in danger, chief.

 And here’s what they could have done: show just how corrupted by his own mentality and power Rose was; show him charismatic on the outside but completely apathetic to the people and justifying his actions by wanting Eternatus’ energy to keep modernizing Galar at the expense of some casualties bc hey! As long as the country will live on and keep progressing, what’s the problem with some lives being lost along the way if its for the greater good? Show him as the evil rich businessman he was meant to be! One that can’t understand that giving a pokemon and a golden watch to an orphan and “saving” him doesn’t give Rose the right to use him and discard him like a tool, one that tries to manipulate the Champion to do what he wants bc he’s given him the fights he wants and promised his family would be safe; just give me a character I can properly hate without feeling disappointed! You’ve done it with Ghetsis and Lusamine, you can do it with Rose too! Commit to your evil rich apathetic businessman plans, nintendo!

I felt both Oleana and the weird hair twins were better antagonists in this front. I even thought like SHE was the true villain and was using Rose’s apparent naïveté as a well intentioned but stupid rich guy and her position as his secretary to get what she wanted at the beginning; alas, that’s not what happened unfortunately ): but she had a proper motivation and enough foreshadowing for me to suspect her and still think she’s cool (her backstory is great for example. I was so surprised when she used a Garbodoor after all those cool lady pokemon!) the twins are both stupid looking and Swordward and Shieldbert are TERRIBLE names, but I feel like they’d be more iconic as main villains too.

I think that’s all for now, ive written way too much already djdflgjf if anyone managed to read all of this then thanks for reading my rambles 

[more-than-a-princess]

As Zack spent his time getting clean, Sonia had spent hers, after changing into attire far more appropriate for lounging about at home, wondering how he'd gotten into the predicament he'd been in. She was familiar with much of the Japanese legal system but there were still aspects hidden from her, complicated to understand or decided upon in gatherings she was not privy to and no one would discuss. In Novoselic, while there were still homeless people especially in the larger cities, the country had taken stronger measures in the past decade to ensure that anyone who served in the Novosonian armed forces was properly looked after. Even if there was no conflict to send such soldiers into at present, it was seen as a gesture of gratitude and goodwill to ensure all veterans had a safe and tidy place to live, food, and an occupation they could perform. Other countries balked at Novoselic's policies on that front, but they had a pipeline of veterans-turned-transients whenever their soldiers became too old or infirm to serve them.

She'd sighed from her place on the antique sofa, before he'd walked in. He didn't come from her nation, and therefore she couldn't fathom a way to help him unless she knew more about him. But an interrogation, for someone who meant no harm and had endured so much, enough to reside in garbage and attempt to eat rotting food, seemed a rather callous choice of action. Even if it was in the quest of providing assistance: she needed to find another way, another approach. Negotiation within the parameters of human emotion and condition, that was mostly what being a royal meant. The last bit was, as always, making the difficult decisions and being loved and hated for it, often in equal measure.

"I did indeed mention dinner," She looked up from her tablet, smiling. Unbeknownst to him, she'd been refreshing her knowledge on Japanese law as it applied to veterans: it was a place to start, at least. "I would say after that long walk here, we are both quite ready to eat." She set the tablet down on one of the end tables and rose to her feet, walking to him. "Come on, I will show you the way."

Without much interference from her staff, to boot: alongside her reading she'd properly briefed them to not interfere unless she requested as such, and that while her safety was indeed important, so was kindness and compassion, and some of them had been sorely lacking in both when she'd arrived with Zack.

Beyond the small study, the large sitting room, and a formal dining room that sat twenty people with all of the leaves of the table and chairs added, Sonia held open a swinging door that led into the condo's kitchen. One of the few rooms with an absence of sage green, ivory, and gold leaf, it was instead designed to be more functional than a place to sit and admire. Not that there was nothing to admire: aluminum and copper pans hung from racks on the ceiling and stacked on various shelves, two large refrigerators and a full-size freezer were well-stocked, one of four ovens had been turned on and a chef and a cook were both hard at work at the stove, the fryer, and the nearby countertop: an array of sliced tomatoes and onion, fresh lettuce, a small jar of pickles, and glass jars of ketchup and mustard were lined in neat rows while the cook arranged stacks of cheese slices and plates of toasted brioche buns. The chef, in turn, had several ground beef patties sizzling on the stove before reaching for the handle of the fryer basket, dumping a batch of piping hot french fries into a metal basket lined in wax paper.

"I thought you might like a fresh burger," She explained with a sheepish expression. She hadn't thought to ask him what he preferred but had simply given orders on her own. It came with the territory that was her life. "But I thought you might prefer to eat in here instead of the formal dining room. It is a little less...well, less." She nodded to the, in comparison to the dining room, far more modest table and chairs sat for eight: nothing intricately carved and gilded, but set with clean placemats, napkins, plates, cups, and silverware.

"Chef Manuel and his assistant Ethan are finishing up the food, and please let them know if you wish your burger to be cooked a certain way and if you would like cheese added," Sonia told him, showing him to the table. "Otherwise, please have a seat! You are my guest and, while I am not permitted to cook in the kitchen, I am allowed to serve drinks. What would you like? Soda? Water? Juice? Tea or coffee?"

In the meantime, she rummaged through the various bottles to retrieve a drink for herself: a milky strawberry soft drink she was partial to, especially when in Japan. "I wanted to ask," She began carefully as she removed the cap from the bottle, pouring the pastel pink drink into a glass a quarter full with ice. "How did you end up where we met today, and where might you be from? If you do not mind me asking. If so, you need not answer: you could ask me anything you like instead."

Zack snorted, the irony of the situation not at all lost on him. And honestly, the sheer weight of knowing just how similar the struggles of other places were to his own land. It said something about humanity that they always seemed to slot back into one particular mold, no matter their upbringing or differences. There was probably something deeply philosophical there to consider, but he didn't have a big enough brain to consider it.

"I'll just say my current living arrangements should be a testament enough to how worthy they were." Dreams could carry people far. Reality was something terribly different. It was seeing the reality through the veil of dreams that became the real challenge. Sometimes, that vision came far too late to stop the consequences.

While back home, it was the norm for other people to provide Soldier with everything they needed to get by on a daily basis, it wasn't the responsibility of his gracious hosts. As unwilling as they were to receive him, they HAD [barring the demands of their princess, they could have found a way to shuffle him out with grace regardless], it wasn't exactly gracious of him to allow them to scrub the grime off his clothes.

He spread his hands helplessly, casting a look back a the staff. There wasn't much that could pass in that look, they didn't know him well enough to assess what he might be thinking, but he hoped they could take it as permission to do whatever they needed to do. Even if it was burn the articles.

There was once a time when Zack would have a comment about everything, where he could pluck conversation from the depths and string along everyone who dared to be in the same vicinity as him. He supposed that all of that changed that day he decided to abandon his post. Well, it changed long before that moment, but still. Pivotal points in their lives didn't always make logical sense.

Neither could one always explain circumstance. He couldn't believe he went from careful consideration of devouring a fossilized hamburger, to standing alone in a bathroom fit for royalty. Literally. A royal bathroom. He took a moment simply to stand and blink his eyes, unable to resist the call of a bath for long.

It was a process to peel those layers of clothes off. They had long become a second skin to him, old sweat and blood and grime the least of what he could identify. It was kind of gross to soak in a tub in a stew of his own yuck, but he was pretty sure a shower wouldn't touch that stuff. So soak he did, scrubbing all the while to peel away the dead everything encasing him in filth. He rinsed off well and emerged pink, fresh and somewhat more human than he had before.

It was the sweats for him, his skin too wet to even attempt to pull on anything else. He had towel dried, but not too much~

The blue t-shirt was draped over one arm at first, receiving what he might deem as the 'evil eye' from his escort. His look flattened and with a sigh that truly advertised how 'put out' he felt, he put on the friggen shirt, even though it was UNCOMFORTABLE with his wet skin. He was sore and tired and in need of NORMALCY.

Honestly, he didn't even know how he got to that point, or what was up and down! It felt like he was trapped in a whirlwind of activit----

"Did you say dinner?" He swallowed, his dry mouth suddenly fullll of droool with just the thought of dinner.

[komahinasecretexchange]

Title : Making sense

Author : @alyssaleandra (komakaikoma on twitter)

For : @fhantomhives

Rating/Warnings : G, mentions of Hinata’s surgical scars

Prompt : for the fic - first date; for the fanart - soft forehead touch

Author/Artist’s note : I hope the recipient enjoys!! I tried to make something very gentle and heartwarming! There is an image embedded within the story.

-

Things are hard when the former Class 77-B ship off to real life Jabberwock Island. Unlike its virtual counterpart, it’s been abandoned for who knows how long, and it shows. There’s insect infestations to counteract, living quarters to rebuild, water sources to purify… Hinata never imagined he’d see his friends farming, but here they are with Imposter (who everyone still affectionately refers to as Togami because it’s familiar) assigning tilling duties for the week. They can’t rely on Naegi and the others on mainland to supply too much, lest they out their location to those who’d prefer to see the Remnants of Despair at the bottom of the ocean.

Hinata knows that the others are looking to him for some measure of guidance, even if no one’s said anything outright. He’s Kamukura Izuru, after all. The Ultimate of Ultimates. The one who babysat everyone’s pods until each was safely out of cryosleep and in recovery plans that mainly he (and later Tsumiki) was responsible for formulating. But if he’s being honest with himself, he’s had his fair share of being an Ultimate, and he’s happy to take the supporting role to more charismatic figures like Sonia and Togami. The irony of longing for a normal life is not lost on him, but he thinks undergoing a major brain surgery, surviving a killing game, and getting spit out into a completely changed real world is enough excitement for a lifetime. He’s earned a bit of normalcy.

…So of course he’d find himself fawning over Komaeda Nagito, of all people, once things have settled down around Jabberwock. Hinata’s bewildered by it when he realizes what’s happened; it’s like an errant seed found root in his heart while he was distracted with fixing cottage roofs, then budded while he was modifying meal plans, and then the second he had a chance to breathe and check in on himself, full blown feelings had blossomed right under his nose.

It’s hard, and a little frustrating, that it had to be Komaeda, because nothing’s ever been easy with Komaeda. Hinata had nursed something of a crush on the boy when they’d “met” in the virtual world and he thought that Komaeda was just a kindhearted oddball with a pretty face. That whole thing got dashed to pieces during their time in the program once he realized there was at least a few dozen more layers to Komaeda he had yet to scratch the surface of, let alone come close to ever comprehending. It was unthinkable, for a time, that he’d ever be able to feel anything other than confusion with a tinge of what he can only describe as unease towards Komaeda. Now, though, with everyone recovering and filling in the cracks left by their past lives, he feels a bit like he first did on that digital shoreline in the beginning.

Except, no, it’s more profound this time because he feels like really understanding Komaeda is something that’s within arm’s reach for him, rather than an amorphous, far-off concept.

He can’t pretend to fully follow all of the hope-obsessed boy’s fervid ramblings about life and fate, but… nowadays, it’s almost endearing. It’s just routine enough that it’s become comforting. Like Komaeda’s some piece of music that was too dense and intimidating for Hinata to really appreciate the first time he heard it, but now he’s developed the taste for it.

It helps that Komaeda’s achingly pretty, and Hinata’s always been slightly weak for the quirky pretty ones. Even during their conflicts in the program, Hinata had to reel himself out of those serene gray eyes sometimes—really yank himself out of a few unwanted idle daydreams about the Ultimate Luck who caused everyone so much grief, and yet—and yet—Hinata never could shake the desperate desire to figure him out. He’d always thought if he could solve the inscrutable puzzle that was Komaeda, just maybe they could be on equal footing again someday.

And so, it’s somewhat frustrating that it had to be Komaeda because Hinata knows by now how complicated Komaeda likes to make things for himself (and everyone around him), but it also makes perfect sense that the living science experiment known as Hinata Hajime would set his sights on the shining beacon of maladaptive coping mechanisms known as Komaeda Nagito. Since when has Hinata ever taken the path of least resistance for anything?

They aimlessly spend time together just like they did back in the program before things really went south. They do chores together, tag-team scavenging together, and spend cool off periods walking down the beach together. Komaeda still tends to fret over doing anything where his misfortune flares could pose a threat to Hinata, but they’ve managed to go unscathed thus far.

They’re sitting hip-to-hip on the sand and watching the sunset after a particularly lengthy conversation about their childhoods, when it occurs to Hinata that this is basically a date. He feels his heart kickstart at the notion and a heat creep across his face, and he’s suddenly scared to move or even so much as glance at the boy next to him, lest Komaeda be made aware of Hinata’s sudden onslaught of self-consciousness. He’s kept completely quiet about his festering feelings for Komaeda and never once dared to imply that anything between them means any more or less than what he has with everyone else on the island. He’s shy, sure, but he also just isn’t certain of Komaeda can handle that kind of information. He can practically see the spiral that would unfurl if Komaeda were to confront the reality of knowing that someone cared for him.

“Oh, sorry, did I say too much? Ahaha… I never know when to stop talking…”

Hinata’s ears tune in to the sad note in Komaeda’s voice, and he realizes he’s been spacing out. “No, no! I just got lost in thought, sorry about that.” His throat feels tight, and there’s a dozen things he wants to say but doesn’t know how to. “Um… Komaeda?”

“Yes?” Komaeda tilts his head, attentive.

“I was wondering if… well, if you wanted to—to come over to my cottage tonight?” It’s funny, really, the way everyday words rattle up his ribs and get stuck on his tongue like they’re something profound or difficult, given everything else he’s been through by comparison. It’s funny and embarrassing and so normal that it would make Hinata laugh if he weren’t preoccupied with not humiliating himself in front of Komaeda right now. “Just to… I dunno, hang out. Maybe we could… watch one of the movies that Asahina-san sent over for us.”

Komaeda’s eyes widen just a little as he processes this invitation before relaxing back to their usual calm state. “Hinata-kun, aren’t we hanging out already? Or am I mistaken?”

“W-well, yeah! But this is…” Hinata’s voice drops to a fragile murmur, “…different.”

“Different? Hmm… I see.” Hinata isn’t sure what it is that Komaeda sees, and that makes him nervous. The slightly taller boy stands up and dusts sand off his bottom. “I’d be happy to accompany you.”

And he smiles, framed by oncoming nighttime and high tide, and Hinata’s heart stutters. Okay, cool, he accepted it without being weird. Even if I didn’t really explicitly call it a date or anything. God, my collar feels tight right now. He tugs at the offending collar and tries for a casual smile. “Cool. Cool.”

They follow the road back to the inland.

Silence transpires, and in the bit of quiet, Hinata takes note of Komaeda’s hands swinging gently at his sides. Hinata’s never thought about the idea of holding them before, at least not in public, but once it crosses his mind, he can’t stop thinking about it. How would Komaeda react if he just… went for it? Would he be startled? Angry? Beyond that, how would it feel? Would it be clammy? Soft? Would it feel good? …Well, the hand closest to him is the metal one, so that’s irrelevant.

A past Hinata might have been content to let the idea remain as just an idea, but the Hinata now knows that if he wants something, he should probably chase after it without sweating the details so much. He reaches out and takes the mechanical left hand into his right. It takes Komaeda a moment to notice, due to a lack of nerve endings.

“Oh…” he says faintly, too caught off guard for much else.

“Sh-should I not…?”

They’ve both stopped walking so that Komaeda can stare down at their point of contact. He’s yet to put on any kind of discernible emotion about it. “No, it’s okay. It’s—nice. But it’s scary, too.”

“Scary??” Hinata’s grip loosens, prepared to drop the other boy’s hand and forget he ever tried.

“Because it’s so nice.” Slowly, carefully, internal mechanisms work together to tighten Komaeda’s hold on Hinata so that the connection isn’t lost. “It’s… hard to not wonder when my luck might strike again. And I know you have luck now, too, somewhere inside of you… But…” He shakes his head and dismisses the thought. “Never mind. Let’s get going.”

Hinata wants to protest and prod Komaeda into finishing what he was saying, but the gentle pull of Komaeda’s hand takes his attention by the reins. He hasn’t rejected Hinata, and he isn’t running away. That small realization fills Hinata with relief that he didn’t know he was hoping for. His step feels lighter as he catches up to his friend’s side.

-

Hinata sets up a tape on an old CRT that Souda put together, sits on the floor with Komaeda, and immediately finds himself regretting suggesting a movie. It’s impossible to focus with so many things weighing on his mind and the subject of his inner turmoil right next to him.

As if sensing Hinata’s thoughts, Komaeda leans against him, so warm and tangible on his shoulder. It seems he’s equally unengaged with the movie before them. “Hey, Hinata-kun. Would you mind telling me that you hate me?”

“…Huh?” The odd request catches Hinata off guard. “Why on earth would I ever say that??”

“It’d be the greatest comfort to me right now. The bad luck of being hated by you… maybe it’d make everything even. Maybe I could enjoy being at your side like this a little longer without fearing what might come next. But I’m too much of a coward to actually try to make you hate me anymore.” He outstretches his right hand, flexing and relaxing the muscles. Even as he talks of being hated, he nuzzles closer into Hinata’s shoulder, as if afraid Hinata really will say he hates him. “I used to try so hard to invite disaster in my life when things were going too well. It scared me so much to enjoy the quiet moments. It scares me even now, to be close to you and have your friendship. I always tell myself that I need to stop being selfish and push you away for your own good, but… then I see you every morning, still alive, still smiling, and my greedy heart can’t help but want to bask in you.”

He shifts and makes direct eye contact with Hinata. As frank as he can be at times, Komaeda always tends to direct his gaze elsewhere during conversations. His hand, or his feet, or just somewhere in the far distance. It always makes him feel unreachable. But this time, his stare is open and earnest. “After everything that happened, I wonder what my standing with luck even is anymore. I died in the program… but then I was alive. But then I had the apocalypse and my own horrible actions to clean up after.” He reflexively rubs where metal and flesh meet on his left arm. “So in the end, was that all good luck or…”

And Komaeda cuts himself off, like he’ll never find an answer unless he just takes action already, and he leans into Hinata and brushes trembling lips against a dumbstruck mouth. His eyes are rife with a dozen conflicting emotions, as Komaeda often is, but this time it feels as though one wrong move will make him burst and everything will come spilling out unfiltered. His eyes widen in something akin to surprise, as if he wasn’t in control of his own actions. Before Komaeda has the chance to overthink things or run away, Hinata catches him by a jacket lapel and pulls him close. He uses his other hand to wrap gently around the back of Komaeda’s head, reveling in soft white curls, and pulls their foreheads together.

“Do you feel them? The scars, I mean.” Hinata pulls his short bangs aside. “Sometimes I forget they’re there. But they remind me of everything we all went through… that we’ve seen hell and death and everything in between, and we’re still here. In the grand scheme of things,” he gestures between them, “this isn’t going to be what ends the world. …At least, that’s what I think.”

Komaeda’s quiet, for a bit. He inhales like he forgot to breathe. Then he breaks, and laughs, and laughs. His eyes water from the force of it. “Aha-hahaha! Hahaha! Ha…” He holds Hinata for support, and Hinata holds him back. Once the fit has passed, he sniffs and straightens up, face still slightly quirked with hysteria. “Perhaps—perhaps you’re right. Maybe it’s arrogant to think luck cares that much about what makes me happy. Maybe it never cared. I’ve been wondering about that lately. It’s a scary thought.”

On the surface, it’s a pessimistic notion, but for Komaeda to yield to the idea that, to some extent, things just happen and that he should do something that makes him happy without psyching himself out of it for once, is the kind of paradigm shift Hinata expects only a virtual death and rebirth could have brought about. “Luck never cared about what any of us wanted. Not just me. And maybe it’s giving luck too much credit to say that it’s what brought me to you.” Then Komaeda does something unexpected—tilting his chin upwards at a pretty angle and kissing the raised skin of Hinata’s forehead scars. “But whatever did, I’m glad for it. I’m… unspeakably glad that you’re still here after everything, Hinata-kun.”

It’s always a toss-up with Komaeda on whether or not his penchant for saying really vulnerable things will embarrass him. This ends up being one of the times where it does, and he flushes a bright red and looks away, direct eye contact finally too much for him. He’s nearly confessed to Hinata once before, but that was ages ago in the program, under far different circumstances. Perhaps this is the first time Komaeda’s ever been really honest about how much Hinata means to him. No wrapping it up in vague non sequiturs about talent and hope. Just, “I’m glad you’re here.”

It’s more powerful than a typical confession in some regards.

“Me too. I’m glad you’re here, too.” Hinata feels his face burning as well, but he tries to will himself to remain cool. “…This feels pretty dumb to say now, but I was trying to ask you on a date earlier. So, uh, this is a date. …If you want it to be. I feel like, after… y’know, everything, we need things like this. Normal things.”

Komaeda smiles genuinely, and fondness bears down on Hinata full-force at the sight. “I figured that was what you were trying to get at. It’s really funny, Hinata-kun, when I look at you and think about how your sheer will power broke us out of the killing game and probably saved us all, and yet you can’t even ask someone out without being absurdly awkward about it. I think it’s something I like about you.”

Hinata burns more furiously but can’t find the words to retort, instead opting to fold his arms and stare at the ceiling. “W-well… yeah. Those are two totally different things!! Maybe if lives were on the line, I could find it in me to ask you out a little more tactfully…”

“Hmm, I see, so saving lives is easier than trying to date me, huh? I suppose that’s fair…”

“Hey, you…” Hinata snags Komaeda’s jacket lapels again and pulls him close. The banter ceases, and the two enjoy a normal date, like they deserve.

[serahne]

kyouko, sayaka and hinata

Okay, apparently it was in my drafts all this time ? I’m so sorry !

Kyoko Kirigri

What is your opinion of this character? If you like, explain why you like him/her. She is the one I blame to fall into Danganronpa as a serie, so I sort of love her, and sort of hate her. More seriously, she is everything I like in a character, especially a female character : she is smart, she is active, she is strong but she still have weaknesses that she tries her best to control. She has a great developement, through choices that are - sometimes - very very harsh for a teenager.

Is he/she important to the general plot? Uh, yeah. She is like, the most important character in dr1. You literally have a bad ending if you don’t decide to sacrifice the protagonist for her. She is the one saying 90% of the interesting stuff in the trials. She is the one who is directly linked to Hope’s Peak history, through her father.

Can you relate to this character at all? Does he/she grip you emotionally? She does, in a way. Through dr1, you can feel how lonely she is fighting her battle, and how everyone except Makoto is ready to turn on her so easily. You can also feel her conflicted feelings about his dad, and it’s done in a very clever way.

Do I relate to her ? In some ways. Like how I’m always reluctant to ask for help and would rather try and manage everything myself, even when the task is hard. I’m far from having the drive that she has, though.

Do you ship this character with any other character? Or, are you particularly intrigued by his/her relationship with any other character(s)? (romance-wise or platonic) I ship her with Naegi and that’s her canon relationship that I enjoy the most. I have other ships (Celes or Sonia) but they work more in AU and stuff. Platonically, I have a fondness for Komaeda and Kirigiri working together in FF. I’m also hella intrigued by her relationship with her dad during the year she spent in Hope’s Peak.

Is there anything about the character you would change? I’m still super mad that they made her die in dr3 to ‘prove her love’ and appease the fuckers who call her a bitch for not accepting her death in dr1, and pretty much made her useless until it was time for her to come back as Naegi’s trophy at the end.

If you were in the fandom with this character or knew this character in real life, how would you see yourself interacting with him/her? I’d probably be too embarassed to really talk to her first. She’d be the kind of girl that I get really flustered to talk with, and I would be scared to sound stupid. I might have an intellectual yeah right crush on her.

Does this character make the cut as one of your all time favorites (if you like) or least favorites? Oh yes, definitely.

Would you hype up this character (if you like) or warn about this character (if you dislike) to someone new to fandom? I… tend to let people find out about characters by themselves, just so I can get their unbiased opinion. Between the two, I would hyper her up, though.

Is this character popular with the fanbase? Mostly yes, I’d say. You have a few people who can’t stand her for… reasons that I don’t undersand but respect, but most of the fanbase have positive - if not very strong - feelings about her.

Sayaka Maizono

What is your opinion of this character? If you like, explain why you like him/her. I really like her ! I think that no matter what your opinion of her is, you have to admit that the twist with her character was done very well, and the first taste of what the Danganronpa serie could do best ! On a more subjective level, she is just the kind of character that I like : so perfect looking that most people won’t notice that something is off inside.

Is he/she important to the general plot? Uh, I’d say that she definitely sets the tone for the serie, though of course her actions don’t carry beyond the first chapter. She only is there for half a chapter, but her character is still used as the background of the trial ground in ndrv3 whereas Twogami and Amami are... fine, I guess, but a lot less in the serie’s DNA, in my opinion.

Can you relate to this character at all? Does he/she grip you emotionally? She does, in a way. She is so young, and with so much pressure on her shoulders. She is sixteen, and has the terrifying feeling that she has peaked and that there is nowhere for her to go but down... this is really sad. I can’t say I relate to her, though. We have really nothing in common, and it’s probably for the best !

Do you ship this character with any other character? Or, are you particularly intrigued by his/her relationship with any other character(s)? (romance-wise or platonic) Celes is my OTP for her because they are both very amibitious and deceptive in their own ways and they would complement nicely. Nae/zono is cute, Kiri/zono too. I like the idea of her, Kaede and Ibuki being friends since, you know, ~ music ~.

Is there anything about the character you would change? I would cut off this weird scene in dr3 where there is a joke about a magazine where she is undressed/wearing a bikini. Even ignoring the fact that she is sixteen, is this really what her character comes down to in dr3 ? All this angst for a stupid pervy joke with Teruteru as a guest star ?

If you were in the fandom with this character or knew this character in real life, how would you see yourself interacting with him/her? Hard to say. She is friendly on a superficial level, so we probably would have good relationships, but friends would be a strong word.

Does this character make the cut as one of your all time favorites (if you like) or least favorites? For the serie, sure ! She is in my top 3 in dr1, at least !

Would you hype up this character (if you like) or warn about this character (if you dislike) to someone new to fandom? Sayaka’s narrative force is the twist behind her character, so I would probably lead this person on to make them believe she is a stereotypical character.

Is this character popular with the fanbase? ... Good question. I’d say... yes, mostly. There is this weird ship war between her fans and Kirigiri’s fans, as if these two ladies weren’t too good for Naegi on the first place. Some people really can’t understand her actions and consider that she is a manipulative bitch, I suppose. Bleh.

Hajime Hinata

What is your opinion of this character? If you like, explain why you like him/her. He is my favorite character in the franchise, and I think it’s well deserved. He is just a great character all-together : he is full of contradictions, insecurities, his growth isn’t as easy/obvious as Naegi’s, he is also a bit grumpy and snarky and judgy and all that makes him very endearing when you spend all this time in his head.

Is he/she important to the general plot? Well, he is the protagonist of sdr2, and technically the reason AI Junko took over the Neo-World Program. Despite how centered around Komaeda the game is, I still think Hinata is the one really at the core of the game, and that’s done in a very interesting way.

Can you relate to this character at all? Does he/she grip you emotionally? Oh, he really grips me on an emotional level, yes, and it’s probably also because I relate to him - or, I guess I can understand him while looking at him from an older perspective. He feels trapped, put on rails that he feels he can’t change the destination of, he feels like he is missing something, that his life is passing him by and he can’t help but feel like being someone else would make everything better. It’s a mix of teenage ridiculousness and existential crisis that we all felt at some point, right ?

Do you ship this character with any other character? Or, are you particularly intrigued by his/her relationship with any other character(s)? (romance-wise or platonic) I’m not going to rant about Koma/hina again, but yes, I might *cough* ship them, just a bit. I’m fine with other relationships, romantic or not, like Sonia, Mahiru or Natsumi. I like his brOTP with Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko. I like to think about his relationship with Naegi, because I feel like it would be a lot more complicated than the canon let it on, too. And if we consider them different people, his ‘relationship’ with Kamukura is also very important !

Is there anything about the character you would change? The ‘man nuts’ scene is not only dumb but very OOC. Can we... not. Do this. Also the ending of dr3 shits all over his character’s growth, and his ‘god mode’ is a but insulting toward Hinata’s fans I think, but... whatever. It’s what fanfics are for.

If you were in the fandom with this character or knew this character in real life, how would you see yourself interacting with him/her? I hope we’d get along ? I feel like we would, at least a bit, haha.

Does this character make the cut as one of your all time favorites (if you like) or least favorites? Yeah, he is #1, baby.

Would you hype up this character (if you like) or warn about this character (if you dislike) to someone new to fandom? I mean ‘he is my favorite character in the serie’ is hyping up, I suppose ? As I aways said, I like the idea of people making their own ideas. If someone ends up not liking Hinata, then they have terrible taste, but I won’t drop dead because of it, you know ?

Is this character popular with the fanbase? Oh, he is. I’m not sure if he is the most popular protag ( the fandom is still on the Shuichi-hype train ) but I don’t think I really saw one really negative opinion of him ? Which is fine by me, haha.

[morethanaprincess-a]

Anonymous said:  For mun from the cookie asks: sugar, chocolate chip, fortune cookies! For sonia: biscotti, fig newtons

Cookie asks (Still accepting! I’m sorry I’m slow about getting to these but I’m finally ready to post on tumblr today)

SUGAR COOKIE — Do you view yourself as a sweet person?

It depends on the person, really. I make a concentrated effort to be nice to others no matter what. This conflicts with my INTJ nature, the fact I’m mostly introverted, and most large crowds make me uncomfortable. I dislike not being able to hear my own thoughts and when things aren’t done the most efficient, right way. 

I’m very lucky that in my job, my department is small and I’m only in charge of interns occasionally. I might lose my mind if someone reported to me regularly and I had to fix their mistakes.

But otherwise, I’m very sweet to those I care about, especially my parents, closest friends, fiancé, and my cat. I’m also full of sarcasm, useless facts, and unafraid to spill the tea, so to speak. So it evens out.

CHOCOLATE CHIP — Name a song that evokes emotion in you.

“You Gotta Be” by Des’ree, “The Mummers’ Dance” by Loreena McKennitt, and “Dynasty” by Miia. Three for the price of one!

FORTUNE COOKIE — Do you believe in fate?

I believe, in general, three things regarding what determines your life: the amount of privilege you’re born into/given, the opportunities you take, and on occasion, chance and luck. But in terms of something determined by the stars, like soulmates or fated meetings? No, not really. 

    BISCOTTI — When you’re sad, what cheers you up?

“I quite enjoy spending time with my closest friends and loved ones when I’m sad! The company of others is truly ideal for improving my mood. Otherwise, I spend time out of doors on walks, runs, and horseback rides if I am at home. If the weather is unfavorable or I simply do not feel well, a good book or movie is ideal. And of course, I cannot deny the uplifting effects of chocolate, wine, and tea.”

FIG NEWTON — Do you prefer telling stories or being told stories?

“I believe both are equally beneficial! To both speak and listen are virtues we should keep in balance. That is how you both learn and teach, and both are entertaining. I like spooky and romance stories best!”

[sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face]

My Top 10 Poems of 2017.

Okay so this is my official top 10 list of poems from 2017 that are my personal favorites. I’m gonna count them down and elaborate more about them because why not, it’s a nice trip down memory lane. So let’s gooooo.

1. Sweet Jerry ~ March 18th.

Sometimes I feel like shaking 17 year old Lil and saying “lil, don’t you dare name this poem that - don’t be sappy dontbesappydontbesappydontbesappy” aha. But there’s no going back and I can’t think of a better title tbh. I actually happened to write this just in time for Jerry’s birthday, aha. Um, I like it. It’s simple, it’s nice. Just expressing how I felt at the time and still do. I may cringe at this poem frequently but if you strapped me down to a chair, I’d admit that it’s my fav.

2. Heaven Beside You ~  May 15th.

Oh look another poem with Jerry in the background, aha. How coincidental. And I used his song title. I’m so original. But this was basically my shitty attempt at interpreting the song, Heaven Beside You. I had clear imagery in my head of sitting against some old abandoned wooden barn with some guy in the middle of some grassy field at like midnight. It’s blue as fuck.

The overruling feeling I got from it was “the relationship is beyond done..it’s undeniably shitty..it’s going to end bad..but y’know I at least still kinda love the dude so for the sake of my sanity, I’ll cling to his company for as long as I can.” Very dark, aha. Not trying to romanticise anything. Although I was definitely using Jerry’s traits for some of the lines. I was mostly thinking of my first love.

3. Lost Highway ~ May 23rd.

This poem is the most special poem of them all. I wrote this poem one night after listening to “I Am The Highway” by Audioslave. I had a big ol’ grieving cry. This was the result. I miss Chris Cornell. It was just another poem back then. But tons of people instantly started reacting to it. Sonia Rockwell even liked it on instagram. Chris was her babysitter/family friend before Soundgarden got big.

Then, after much convincing/support from a ton of my followers and friends on here. I sent the poem to three Seattle newspapers. And on the third try. It got published. That was literally the best day of my life. It was tremendously bitter-sweet but my dreams had finally come true. I hate the circumstances that caused it to happen but...I also wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ll always be proud of this piece and I’ll always love/honour Chris Cornell so it works out.

Read the full tribute/article here: https://www.emeraldcityjournal.com/2017/06/remembering-chris-cornell-lost-highway-poem/

4. Assorted Fixations ~ June 17th.

So this poem was half imaginary love story and half real life contemplation that was going around my head at that time. The love story was purely conceptual and it was just the kind of imagery that I wanted to paint. Doesn’t mean there isn’t some truth in some of those lines though. The real parts came from my handling of being published for the first time. I felt such an unwritten duty to be this strong person for everybody hurting.

But at the same time, I was a mess. I was horribly vulnerable and felt so insecure. I was going through a lot of conflicting emotions. Self-doubt about whether I deserved it. Feeling like I had nothing to hide behind anymore. But most of all, after having multiple mental breakdowns. I began to wonder if I could ever enjoy my own successes...or would I just always be consumed by own self-hatred to the point of where I can’t comprehend/accept praise. It was tough.

5. Conquest of Life ~ July 4th.

This was a prose piece/short story that I wrote for myself, really. I wrote what I wanted to hear, what I wished to experience basically. So I imagined myself meeting Chris Cornell in the present day. And we simply talked. But I smartly made the main topic about my insecurities for the published poem. It was sly enough to where I didn’t mention it was about him. He reassures me and then leaves just like that. I’m always cautious when writing about famous people.

I don’t know how well I capture their personalities. But I sincerely try my best to make it respectful. I like this piece because deep down, I still wish I could find out what Chris Cornell would have thought of me. It was a lovely scene and it had a meaningful ending. A lot of people liked it as well. It’s one of my all time favorite short stories and it will always have a special place in my heart.

Read the full piece here: http://sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face.tumblr.com/post/162589016262/conquest-of-life

6. Letter To Musicians ~ July 15th.

This poem is really endearing to me...if I do say so myself, aha. I’ve faced many times in my life where I felt like my dreams are too far out of reach and that I’ll forever be stuck in this phase of where my life is going nowhere. But luckily, I’m constantly reminded and reassured by the many stars I look up to...that it is possible, that it can be overcome and it can happen. 

I imagined myself hopelessly sitting in an attic and opening the window, looking up to the stars dreamily. The first two stanzas are about and for Eddie Vedder. I do find him especially inspiring in the sense of how he practically came from nothing and yet..slowly but surely, shot to stardom. I made sure to note the negatives/downfalls of fame in order to also represent and relate to my own demons in life. The third stanza is for Chris Cornell. Discovering his music..despite all the unbearable grief...and promising to never forget him.

The last stanza is literally just me in a nutshell. Being brutally honest as always, aha. Just saying that I try to survive the best I can..in a life that kills me. But y’know, I’ll forever have one understanding solace in it all. My idols. So this is my own personal letter, thanking them in a way. How I perceive of them, I guess.

Fun Fact: I wrote this poem with “Release” by Pearl Jam playing in my head. Welp, minutes after posting this poem online. The official Pearl Jam Twitter posted a god damn live performance video of Release. Safe to say, I cried my eyes out. Incredibly eerie and heartwarming tbh.

7. Rare Bloom ~ September 6th.

Oh look ano---- *sigh* I’m just gonna skip that part. He sure is showing up a lot in this list though, ha. I guess you could say his influence is a never ending embrace to my soul. Okay, okay. That was too sappy, lmao. Even for me. But yeah. This poem is literally just about how much I admire this bastard like as a writer and a human being. Just y’know, really captivates me at times. Yeah, aha.

The overall meaning is that he’s the only flower in the dead garden that is my life, lol. A positive inspiration. The bestest. And sometimes, I just wish I could write with him y’know. Learn the ways from the master himself, lol. Uh, aha. This is embarrassing. I like this poem a lot. It’s lovey-dovey but truthful. The end, lol.

8. Ocean of Doubt ~ October 2nd.

I like this poem because it’s in the ocean, lol. And I can’t swim but I love the deep sea and what lies underneath it. This poem is something I still feel somewhat. I’m drowning. In many ways. But at this time, it was addiction. It still is. But this was a few days before I attempted to stay clean for the first time in eight months. The second stanza is my same cynical view of high school.

I dropped out and I hated how I just couldn’t fit in with anybody. Feeling left behind, I suppose. The oyster shell thing actually happened to me though. The day before I was supposed to return to school in the new year for the 8th grade. I went on a picnic with my family near the docks. I was walking down the steps to swim in the sea. And I slipped on the mold and sliced my heel on an oyster shell that was stuck on the crater below the steps. So yey for fun facts, lol.

The last two stanzas are about me being trapped in isolation. All in all, a part of me just wishes to die and let myself go. But y’know - some people still give a damn about me so obviously, they stopped that from happening. So while those people are helping me. I selfishly just want the attention from those I love the most which are my idols. But at the same time, I’m too scared of that.

9. Self-Hatred ~ November 29th.

This poem is pretty self-explanatory. Everybody listeeen, voiceees in mah heaaad. Self-hatred. That’s my brain. Always. It’s how I see myself and so when I see other people sometimes. I almost always think they’re better than me. Stupid insecurity shit like that. I hate myself. It’s hard to control. I think we all wish at some point that we could start over and rip off our skin. 

Become someone else. More often than not, in these fits of hatred. I’m alone and surrounded by silence. Just nothingness. The brutal torture that it is. It’s horrible. I wish I could be better. But there’s just a whole lot going on so. I like this poem for the hideous honesty and realness that I managed to capture.

10. My Favorite Chapter ~ December 2nd.

Now this is my top poem for 2017. It’s a prose piece more than a poem. But this piece symbolizes my year in terms of creative expression. It’s why I wrote so much this year. So yes, this is about you know who. It’s about writing and the process. The poem itself isn’t divided into separate parts when it comes to talking about a person. And I really like that. The lines can apply to the both of us and so it’s a collective existence of sorts.

I’m not saying I have a bond with the man and that we’re soulmates, lol. I’m not saying I’m the cream of the fucking crop. I’m just a girl who’s lucky enough to have somebody who continually inspires her and brings out the best in her. It’s a solace and it’s a gift that keeps on giving. It makes me happy and there’s nobody else who really does that for me in such a consistent and fulfilling manner.

It’s my release. My only pure release. And I’m thankful for it. It rekindled my love and passion for writing. It challenges me. It makes me think. It makes me better. 

So this is it. This was my 2017. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Read the full piece here: http://sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face.tumblr.com/post/168100176257/my-favorite-chapter