#(Finally a confession that conveys my exact thoughts about the band)

[boingfessions]

[toloveawarlord]

A Pair of Jacks “Confession”

You can find my masterlist in my bio!

Day 2 of the Celebration of the Jacks!

Not my original intention for the second day but it’s been fun doing a little flashback of Edgar and Luka in school together! I was unsure of how many years that they would have attending the boarding school together, so for this stories purpose, it’s a 3 year school.

Tagging my partner is all crimes: @plumpblueberry

The final year of their time in school had begun. The young Bright having no intentions to attend all his lessons as he had not the prior years. The curriculum dull and nearly put him to sleep. No, he’d found a more entertaining way to spend parts of his days, a most cherished friend, beloved, even.

His previous day having ended on a peculiar note. Tucked away inside his school bag, a letter nestled between two textbooks. The scribbled handwriting all too familiar. Words carefully chosen, likely written many times over to perfect exactly what had to be conveyed.

Having received many a letter containing similar contents, none had brought a genuine smile to his lips, nor kept him awake most of the night committing those words to his memory. Little sleep did he get, yet the boy felt no tiredness at all. In fact, one might say he felt invigorated.

Edgar slipped through the halls, feet carrying him down the path that had been traversed many times before, etched into his very core. He could say that he’d always been more than eager to meet his companion, but today, the thrill coursing through his being felt like no other day.

The cool autumn breeze greeted the boy. Summer waning away, taking its unbearable heat, replaced by the comfortable breeze of chilled air in the turning of fall. Weather impeccable for the two to meet under these delightful circumstances.

His step faltered, jade eyes sweeping across the open rooftop unable to locate the one he’d come to meet. Peculiar. There had been no signs of him within the school. The only logical place for him to be would be here, waiting for Edgar to arrive-

“There you are,” Edgar called, relief washing over him. It would have been quite disappointing for the other boy to have not shown up. “Why are you hiding over there, Luka?” He could guess but chose not to.

The other boy only shrunk inward at the sound of his name being called. Luka sat with his knees pulled up to his chest, forehead resting against them, as if wishing to make himself disappear from sight.

Silent steps carried the young Bright to him, and Edgar took a seat beside him, gazing curiously at his behavior. “If I didn’t know better, I’d assume that you didn’t want to see me.”

“Did you... get the letter?” Luka’s muffled voice cracked, shoulders tense with anticipation of the other’s answer. The tips of his ears brightly red.

“I did.”

Luka gave a soft groan, tightening his arms around his legs. Under all that tousled hair covering the view of his face, Edgar could imagine the blush spread across his porcelain skin, almost as if perfectly painted by an expert doll maker. The very thought brought a grin to his lips.

“Luka, will you look at me?” Edgar asked, shifting his position on the ground to match the words that would soon follow. His hand against his chest, his heart pounded harder than ever before, elated to release his declaration. An experience incredibly new. 

Amber eyes peeked out, intent on only catching a glimpse before hiding away. Only, they widened, and Luka raised his head entirely. “Ed-”

“Luka Clemence, will you marry me?” Edgar rested on one knee, presenting a rose gold band in a velvet red box.

“Wha-” Luka’s lips parted with only half the word able to tumble out. The red across his cheeks deepened.

Chuckling from pure bliss of the expression across the other’s features, Edgar gave a cheeky wink. “In a year or so, of course.” Letting those words only further confuse the recipient, he cleared his throat. “You stole my line, Luka. I read your letter all night long, soaking in every tender word. Your heart spread across the page for my eyes only. You love me?”

The pause brought about a silence only interrupted by the wind whisking around them.

“That’s incredibly bold of you to write such heartfelt words about me, and though I hardly see myself in that light, I can surely understand that sentiment. For, my own thoughts are plagued by you, all of you. Every time you present me with a new food that you’ve cooked, that smile that lights up all the way to those mesmerizing amber eyes nearly stops my heart from beating.”

Edgar hadn’t prepared this at all, wanting only to convey the emotions that overtook him when faced with the boy that could bring the sunshine to him on the rainiest of days. None of it logical, his speech or his adoration of the young Clemence. Yet, he’d never been so sure. 

“How you puzzle my emotions, Luka, I’ll never know. A day without you is nearly unbearable to me. My heart could possibly burst from my chest when I’m with you, and this fluttering in my stomach is quite new to me. Nothing is ever normal when I spend my days with you.”

His own overflowing affection mirrored in the amber irises trained on his jade ones, enthralled with every fiber of his being.

“I am in love with you, Luka Clemence.”

The moment drew out, both boys having confided their feelings in the other, the fear of rejection and the fear of being loved evident in their respective declarations.

Luka chewed on his bottom lip, as he did when overthinking. The blush had begun to leave his cheeks. With his feelings returned with as much affection, he’d begun to relax. “You... amaze me, Ed.”

“I thoroughly commit to large gestures.”

The soft angelic laugh of the Clemence sounded sweeter than any symphony could play. “Yes, I know. But... we haven’t been on a single date.” Not that their schedules allowed for such an outing, but he could dream of it.

“That’s not quite true. I find our daily meetings to be very simulate. We have eaten many meals together, shared countless memories and enjoyed the other’s company. Very much like a date.” At least, in his eyes, it had been that way. 

Luka mulled over those words carefully. “I can see that.”

A mischievous glint flickered in those jade irises. The ring placed against the floor for a moment. He’d need both hands. “I’d say the only thing we’re missing is a proper kiss.”

Pouncing like the predator capturing its prey, Edgar cupped Luka’s cheeks gently, pressing his lips to the other’s. The stun wore off and the kiss reciprocated with equal passion. Awkward, unsure. Their noses bumping as they worked to find the perfect fit. The sloppy motions began to turn fluid, exploring each other’s taste.

As they parted, both were short of breath, chests heaving and their hot breath mingling. Neither pulled fully away, only a quick break. Luka’s hands tugged at the lapels of Edgar’s jacket, closing the distance to steal another taste of his lips. Another and another. The boys unable to stop their need to convey how much they cared.

“Ed.” Luka fought to steady his breathing, head still spinning from their myriad of kisses.

“Hmm?” Edgar hovered over Luka. He’d been just about to continue, already missing the soft lips of the other.

Amber eyes slid away, red creeping back up onto his cheeks. Lashes fluttered. “I... do want to marry you... some day.”

A sly smirk spread across Edgar’s features. “Is that a yes, then?” The box with the ring laid somewhere around where they’d ended up. Delicately swiping his fingers through Luka’s bangs, he eagerly awaited the answer.

“Yes.”

*****

Edgar caught the mug slipping from the sleeping child’s hands, setting it aside on the coffee table. Evie had dozed off during the story, a content smile on her face, her head rested against Luka. He’d continued solely speaking to his husband.

“I still can’t believe you proposed to me that day,” Luka whispered, brushing his fingers through Evie’s raven locks softly.

“I meant it. Every word.” He would never wish to change a single thing about that day. A perfect autumn day etched into his memory. He reached out to caress Luka’s cheek tenderly. “You and Evie are the best things that ever happened to me. I love you even more than I did back then, and every day it only grows stronger.”

Luka turned his head just enough to press a kiss into Edgar’s palm. “I feel the exact same way.”

The fire crackled, illuminating the shared kiss between them. Careful not to wake their child, the same passion shared on that fateful day upon their school rooftop spilled over that very night.

  One day very soon, Luka’s letter will be revealed! ^_^ I hope you enjoyed their little story of when they confessed their feelings!

[pamphletstoinspire]

Our Universal Mother - Part 62

Our Lady of the Smile - Lisieux, France - 1832

O Mary, Mother of Jesus and our Mother too, who once by a visible smile didst graciously console and cure thy privileged child Saint Therese of the Child Jesus, we beseech thee, come to us also to console us in the troubles of this life. Detach our hearts from earth, give to us health of soul and body, make us strong in hope, and obtain for us at last, that we may enjoy for ever in Heaven thy maternal and enrapturing smile. Amen.

The statue which figured prominently in the life of St. Therese of Lisieux is not the only one of its kind. The statue was sculpted about the year 1832, and there are reports that others like it can still be found encased in the walls of a few old farmhouses in parts of Flanders. In addition, exact copies were made after Saint Therese’s death, as we will later relate.

The miraculous statue is made of plaster and is protected by an opaque varnish that gives it an ivory tint. Measuring 35 inches in height, it has been moved many times and, helped by several restorations, has endured the ravages of time. During one of these restorations a halo of stars was placed around the Virgin’s head. A narrow band with a diamond serves Our Lady as a diadem.

The statue first enters into the life of Louis Martin, the father of St. Therese, after he completed his studies as an apprentice watchmaker in Paris. On his return to his native town of Alencon he was assisted financially in opening a jewelry and watch shop by a devout and charitable lady who also gave him the statue now known as Our Lady of the Smile. Louis Martin positioned the statue in a place of honor on his property amid flowers and shrubs. He spent his spare time before this statue, absorbed in prayer and spiritual reading.

After his marriage in July, 1858 to Zelie Guerin, the statue was enshrined indoors and was immediately established as the center of their spiritual life—and later became the center of their children’s lives. The family’s morning and evening prayers, as well as other devotions, were recited before the statue. The kisses of the children became so fervent at times that some of the statue’s plaster fingers were broken off. They were, of course, lovingly restored. The children delighted in placing flowers and candles before the image of their Heavenly Mother, and especially in May their expressions of devotion could not be contained. Flowers, blossoms and all kinds of greenery are said to have been arranged around the statue.

The first unusual incident that took place regarding the statue involved the death of 5 1/2-year-old Marie Helene. Zelie Martin was inconsolable because of what she considered her own negligence. A short time before the little girl’s death, she had told her mother a small lie. Although the mother corrected her for it, Zelie Martin forgot to bring a priest to hear her confession and administer the Last Sacraments. The idea that the child was suffering in Purgatory because of her negligence grieved Zelie terribly. One day while praying before the statue and pleading for a sign that the child had escaped Purgatory, Zelie Martin distinctly heard a voice whispering in her ear: "She is beside me in Heaven." The voice brought relief and joy to Zelie Martin’s tender heart and strength for her childlike faith.

After Zelie Martin’s death from cancer of the breast, the grieving father moved his five daughters to Lisieux. The statue was likewise conveyed there since it was the mother’s wish that the statue always remain with the family. At their new home, Les Buissonnets (the Shrubberies), the statue was placed in the room of the eldest girls, Marie and Pauline. The family’s usual devotions before the statue were observed here at Lisieux as they had been at Alencon.

After the death of her mother, Therese became deeply attached to her sister Pauline, who became like a second mother to her. Then, when Therese was about nine years of age, Pauline entered the Discalced Carmelite convent at Lisieux. The sacrifice of parting brought to Therese’s tender nature a prolonged grief. Later that year Therese became the victim of a strange illness from which she suffered intense headaches, nervous convulsions and morbid obsessions. Therese relates in her autobiography:

Towards the end of the year, I began to have a constant headache...I believe the devil had received an external power over me but was not allowed to approach my soul nor my mind except to inspire me with very great fear of certain things...The sickness became so grave that, according to human calculations, I wasn’t to recover from it. I can’t describe this strange sickness, but I’m now convinced it was the work of the devil...I often appeared to be in a faint, not making the slightest movement and yet I heard everything that was said around me...I was absolutely terrified by everything: my bed seemed to be surrounded by frightful precipices; some nails in the wall of the room took on the appearance of big, black charred fingers, making me cry out in fear. One day, while Papa was looking at me in silence, the hat in his hand was suddenly transformed into some indescribably dreadful shape...Once it happened that for a long time I was without the power to open my eyes.

The affliction was so extreme at times that it was thought Therese would not survive. Everything revolved around her sickbed. Even though various remedies were administered, all were ineffective. Finally, Louis Martin arranged for a novena of Masses to be offered for Therese’s recovery at the Sanctuary of Our Lady of Victories, a church he loved and frequented during his journeys to Paris. It was Therese who acknowledged that Our Lady had performed a great miracle in healing her on Pentecost Sunday, May 13, 1883. Therese tells in her autobiography what took place when she looked upon the statue that had been moved into the sickroom:

All of a sudden the Blessed Virgin appeared beautiful to me, so beautiful that never had I seen anything so attractive; her face was suffused with an ineffable benevolence and tenderness, but what penetrated to the very depths of my soul was the ravishing smile of the Blessed Virgin. At that instant all my pain disappeared and two large tears glistened on my eyelashes and flowed down my cheeks silently, but they were tears of unmixed joy. Ah! I thought, the Blessed Virgin smiled at me, how happy I am...

Sr. Marie of the Sacred Heart, St. Therese’s sister, testified in the Process of Beatification:

I saw Therese as in an ecstasy, and I understood that she was looking, not at the statue but at the Blessed Virgin. The vision seemed to last four or five minutes...and I knew she was cured. When I was alone with her I asked her why she shed tears. She hesitated to speak of the secret, but when she saw that I guessed it, she replied, "Because she had disappeared."

Following the vision Therese was completely cured. At the age of fifteen, Therese joined her sisters Pauline and Marie in the convent of the Discalced Carmelites in Lisieux. After spending several years in religious life Therese contracted tuberculosis of the lungs. When the hemorrhages became quite serious and frequent, Therese was removed from her cell, which was on the second floor, to the infirmary on the ground floor. Her bed was placed in the middle of the room and at its foot, against the wall, was the miraculous statue of Les Buissonnets.

On Sept. 30, 1897 (after having suffered from the disease for 18 months), Therese was at the point of death when suddenly as if called by some mysterious voice, she raised her head and fixed her radiant gaze on a point above the head of the statue. Then after a few minutes of silent gazing, in an ecstasy of love, her head fell back, and with a last sigh her soul passed on to God.

Therese’s sister, Marie of the Sacred Heart, who had witnessed Therese’s first ecstasy and her miraculous cure at Les Buissonnets in 1883, also witnessed this final ecstasy. She wrote:

Her gaze fixed a little above the statue vividly recalled the look which I had seen in her childhood, when the Blessed Virgin had appeared and cured her. it was impossible to describe—something heavenly. A sister passed a light before her eyes, but she did not seem to perceive it—for I am sure, she was already enjoying the light of God.

Following Therese’s death, the house of the Martin family at Lisieux was restored. The room of the apparition was transformed into a small sanctuary, and an altar was placed where Therese’s bed had been. When there was no further doubt about the favorable outcome of the Apostolic Process in Rome, a facsimile of the miraculous statue was also placed in the room. The copy of the miraculous statue was made by a Trappist sculptor, Pere Marie-Bernard. He made a cast of the statue in 1921. Several other copies were also made and were placed in appropriately selected places where Therese had lived and suffered. One copy is in the infirmary on the very spot it occupied when Therese had her last ecstasy. Another is in the antechamber of Therese’s cell. Another was placed in the cell where Sister Marie of the Sacred Heart died in 1940.

The miraculous statue of Our Lady of the Smile is at the shrine of St. Therese at Lisieux. There it overlooks the reclining figure which contains the remains of the Saint.