#(Far better when written)

[gracefulplant]

Sometimes one must lie awake and think about Helena Bertinelli, who was taken in after her family was killed and taught to channel her fear into violence and a drive for revenge, versus Dick Grayson, who was taken in after his family was killed and taught to channel his anger into a drive for justice (also accomplished through violence, albeit a more mild version).

And sometimes one must think about the complicated relationships that each has with Batman and what that means in regards to their vigilantism. How both value his respect so highly and want to impress him, but at the same time don’t want to be like him and can’t be like him.

And sometimes one must think about how they both knew the pain of losing a brother, but chose to find one in Tim’s Robin anyways. Or how they both managed to juggle jobs and vigilante roles at the same time. Or how much compassion they can both show to those that need it.

But above all, one must think about how they used to be cool, like, 20 years ago.

[waywardstation]

Almost back home!!! I’ve been away for two weeks and I haven’t had good internet connection. Looking forward to getting back home.

I’ve been quiet cause of it, so how about a shop/merch update!! The products from my shop have already gone through a round of proofs this last week after I placed the order (as some files had gotten mixed up). I’m hoping the products finish their manufacturing and are shipped to me within this next week or so!

I’ve ordered extras of everything to put up in the shop as “in stock” after I send out my preorders, also ordered a few items as samples. They had a higher MOQ (minimum order quantity) so if they turn out well, I’d like to do a giveaway with some of them!

[deiaiko]

#16.2 Rachel

Bam stepped into the bare and bleak room of an old rented house on the outskirts. The only thing of interest was a simple wooden chair in the center of the room that was occupied by none other than Rachel. Her head was hung low and her wrists were tied behind her around the chair backrest. Mr. Agni reasoned he had to put her to sleep to avoid unnecessary fights, and assured Bam that she'd wake up soon enough.

Bam could hear Mr. Agni and Grace-hyung talking just outside of the room. It seemed like Mr. Agni had to go somewhere, since they exchanged goodbyes not long after. He shifted his focus back to Rachel and took a closer look at her wrists. He couldn't help but think that the rope was too much. It shouldn't be necessary for this conversation, right? It'd only upset her and he hated it when she did.

So he kneeled down and began to untie the rope. When he looked up, he noticed that Hyung was eyeing him warily. However, he just stood there by the door, not making any move to stop him.

Just right after he was done with the knot, Rachel stirred awake and familiar yellow eyes found him. She jerked away, screaming, "Wh– what do you want from me!"

Bam let the silence linger. Giving her time to regain her bearing and seek the answer herself.

Her face got a few shades paler as if she had seen a ghost. Or maybe, in a way, she did.

"Rachel," Bam muttered.

Shock flashed in her eyes before it settled to understanding. "Bam?" Rachel's voice was impossibly soft and sweet, yet it sounded so wrong. "Oh Bam, you're alive! I'm so glad."

…Was she though? She pushed him to his supposed death. But her face was a mix of relief and unbelief. Bam didn't know which was the real her anymore.

"Bam, we have to get out of here. I was kidnapped by a bad person. Quick, before he returns."

"You're not going anywhere." An unfamiliar voice joined them as Hyung finally stepped into the room. The lighthouse floating beside him must've acted as a voice changer. His hat was pulled down low underneath his hoodie, shadowing his face from view. 

Rachel didn't seem to notice Grace's presence until then, if the shock on her face was anything to go by.

"Well then, Bam. Go ahead and ask her," Grace encouraged.

It was the first time he had heard Hyung's cold tone; emotionless and distant that sent shivers down his spine. But that thought could wait for later, because currently he finally had the chance to ask a question that had been plaguing him for the past six years.

"Why did you betray me, Rachel?"

Rachel no longer looked at him as sweetly. "What do you mean, Bam? I've never betrayed you."

"That day, you pushed me out of the bubble."

Rachel's eyes watered as she clenched her hand on her chest, "I was trying to save you from the monster attack. But I lost my balance and accidentally pushed you too hard." She looked away guiltily, voice now just above a whisper. "I had a nightmare about it every time I closed my eyes. I'm truly sorry, Bam."

"That's…" Bam was sure he had defeated the monster. Unless Rachel had mistaken some random fish as a threat? It could make sense, but things were still not adding up. "I saw you stand on your feet, at least explain to me why that is possible."

Rachel furrowed her eyebrows. "I think you remember it wrong."

"No! I know what I saw."

"And so am I!"

"Don't lie to me, Rachel." Bam begged. He was trying to find proof to justify her actions, but why did it only prove that Mr. Agni was right about her? About how she faked her disability to stab him in the back and take advantage of their friends. "You're the one who taught me that lying was bad, so are you trying to get me to think you're a bad person?"

"No, Bam–"

"Tell me, Rachel. Why did you try to kill me?" Bam felt his vision start to blur as tears trickled down his cheeks. It just dawned on him that the foul clenching feeling of his heart was the feeling of betrayal, from someone he trusted and looked up to, no less. "What did I do to you?"

Rachel didn't reply right away. But when she spoke, Bam's world crumbled. "The star…I want to shine as bright as it is rumored to be. But when you're around, I was nothing but a shadow because you took all the light. You who are chosen and loved by many, who wouldn't feel envy?" She gave a weak laugh and stood up. "You're right. I've been faking my injury. But this is what it takes to climb the tower for the unchosen. Innocence wouldn't get you this high, so I'm sure you're just as bad as I am."

Bam looked at his hands which had just recently been bathed in the blood of his opponent. He could still feel the stickiness that clung to his skin and he felt the urge to scrub his hands clean like he did the night before. So he was a bad person now? Was he doomed to never have friends again?

Bam caught an angry scowl on Rachel's lips as she walked past Grace and through the door. Grace tried to go after her but Bam quickly reached out and pulled on his hoodie to stop him from leaving. He didn't want to be left alone with her lingering words.

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[moldy-flowers]

The interesting experience of being pro Sasuke, anti konoha, pro tobirama, anti Naruto ending, pro Sasusaku, anti Itachi, pro Sakura, anti SasuNaru, pro Tobirama×Izuna, anti Madara, pro karin, anti Orochimaru, pro Uchiha and anti Hashirama. And also as much as I hate the guy danzo was kind of hot when he was younger...

[vaugarde]

theres something so odd about how team skull is characterized in the anime. like. in the games theyre a nuisance with a sad backstory to them and they take it out through rage, especially guzma. them teaming up with the aether foundation comes across as lusamine manipulating guzma tbh, like hes just a lackey to her

and then in the anime they water down how gross aether was by limiting the crimes to just faba being a dick instead of the entire foundation being complicit, and in return team skull has their backstory ignored for the most part and theyre perfectly willing to gang up on and hurt a six year old cause she told them not to be mean. like yes they were villains in the game but that just feels weird for them

[thedevotionaltour]

even for period typical ableism it still drives me nuts for karen to go oh poor matt how can he deal and get around as if he hasn't been blind most of his life at this point and living on his own by himself as an adult for his entire adult life after college and has also lived in the city his whole life like girl use your damn brain he can get around by himself just fine. good god. like take five seconds to use your brain. literally adult man who lives by himself if nothing else that should tell you he is fine and when he needs assistance has the knowledge and ability to go get it you act as if he can't even walk on the sidewalk by himself. he literally shows up to work by himself. it drives me up the wall sometimes how she sees proof of him functioning fine independently literally witnesses it on the daily and still thinks these things. like again foggy isn't great either bc again the period typical ableism (and just general ableism in the world outside of this period as this is a common attitude of viewing disabled people as helpless and unable to function even if they are people who do live independently (and im not touching on people who do need extra support and caretaking in this context. as this post is about these characters in the context of a story. so im talking about what we see there instead of any truly meaningful nuanced way) but the writing here is like. Particularly this way due to the time) he has a modicum more of understanding that matt is literally a capable grown adult man. literally told karen matt is a big boy who can handle himself and then karen went b-b-but you forget he's blind as if foggy hasn't known him for years of his life and is his best friend like PLEASE SEE HIM AS AN ADULT. I AM GOING TO GO INSANE. PLEASE RESPECT HIM IF YOU LOVE HIM SO DEARLY. AND EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T. JUST RESPECT HIM AS A PERSON!!!!!!

[whumpty-dumpty-doo]

[that-was-anticlimactic]

one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t

[candied-cae]

S2E2 Ed's plot my beloved-

I ADORE THIS EPISODE IN HOW IT PORTRAYS ED'S MENTAL HEALTH!!!

TW, this post is going to discuss Ed's suicidal behavior and attempt in depth. It will not be heartwarming, I am agonizing over the details. Please don't open if that reading is going to be damaging at all to you. Protect yourself first, y'all! Anyway...

Every little detail from his time on screen is spent sending hints to the viewer that it's Ed's last day alive.

The first time we see him that morning, he looks refreshed. He's decidedly sober and cleaning up his cabin and he's joking and almost... bright again. He's talkative and seems so calm. And it's because he's finally decided to kill himself.

It's been a long observed point for folks with suicidal thoughts/actions that once they've decided on doing it, there's a certain kind of peace that comes with that. Because it's going to be over soon, you know you'll be able to rest. There's an expiry approaching, and there's a comfort in knowing you've almost reached the end, like getting close to the end of a long work shift.

And so he's cleaning up, so he'd doesn't leave as much of a mess behind (Also something that is well documented from people who attempt). At least, assumably that was the idea, like he hadn't originally planned to take the whole ship down with him, it seems like he was planning to do something smaller for just him as of that morning. So he’s tidying up for the rest of them.

It's both a gesture of kindness to make sure they aren't left with as much of a "hassle" once they find him dead, but it's also a point of "pride" in a way. So when it's all over, they will sweep through a cleaner room and remember him better in that last day, than so much of the mess and stress of the earlier ones.

The second time we see him is when he's figured out Frenchie didn't finish off Izzy. And not only does he offer for Izzy to do it, he tells him that it'd be a good thing for him to do. Like it was a favor, killing him would've been "just what the doctor ordered" to make him feel better.

But Izzy doesn't do it, and he assumes Izzy ends himself after he's left the room.

The third hint is that he's so forgiving with everyone. He doesn't hold a grudge against Frenchie for lying to him and hiding Izzy in the secret room, he doesn't yell at anyone (like Jim or Archie) for conspiring with him, he even tells Frenchie to take the day off and thanks him for the closure.

Again, it's following that motion of peace and contentment, he doesn't have to go into death mad, he can do it calmly. He can let it all go, because soon enough it won't be a problem and he knows he's now decided to take them all down with him. So he might as well let them enjoy their last few hours as much as they can.

And he instead resides to sit at the wheel, turning them sharply right into a dark storm, all the while he wears the softest smile. Because he is calm, he is clear headed, and he is done waiting for something else to kill him. And that's a very common thing for people to want in those last moments. To go clean and sober and content and in peace.

They hit a lot of the MAJOR signs they teach you that someone is about to take their live, the only one I can think of off the top of my head that wasn't explicitly included would've been the giving away of personal possessions.

(But, perhaps even following the idea that originally he was going to go alone, he was going to be leaving everything including the boat to his crew, so maybe that idea was kind of hidden in there. It's just not as direct as personally going to people and handing over things.)

Anyway, I'm sure a lot of these clues were well picked up by the fandom, I'm sure a lot of us have learned about these stages of suicidal action for various reasons ourselves. I just wanted to point out that timeline and how perfectly it seems to fit across the whole episode as this singular, unspoken intent behind every single one of Ed's actions until it comes to a head and the crew on deck can't ignore how drastic everything had turned.

[destinywillowleaf]

how to go from a one-shot/conversation spawned from thinking too much about an unseen father to more than a dozen fic ideas and an overarching narrative about family heritage (and the generational trauma that comes with it), the importance of communication, and how all lives touch other lives to create something anew and alive in one easy step

[heavywithplot]

any chance you'd tell us more about John and the Harvester? 👀

even as someone who doesn't have strong opinions on mpreg, i find what little we know utterly FASCINATING

oh boy, okay, so it's like

to explain the whole harvest ritual thing that's going on, it's spinning together a couple of concepts, namely that the symbolic appearance of something in ritual is important for the intended effect. kind of like how in ye olde days (like, medieval/renaissance) for nobility, it wasn't that someone had to BE a virgin, but had to maintain an APPEARANCE of one in a high stakes political marriage (see lucrez/a borg/a) (so for it to work, john has to go through something like a pregnancy, but without doing the whole nine months and a baby part because its the symbolic appearance of it that matters for this)

the ritual itself is about how food harvests are necessary for a continuation of life, so a new harvest would require new life (or something representing new life) to continue. and harvests themselves are hard work, but so is living, so its analogous, ritually, to labor and birth. bringing forth new harvest (birth) to ensure a bountiful harvest (food) for the community (life).

the harvester is an old old old god who has always been where he is and this town was sort of came to life around him. you go where the land is fertile and the food is good, right? where else would that be than where an old god of a harvest is. the problem with old gods is that after awhile, people forget the names, which is where john comes in.

john is probably the first person in about five centuries who can actually see the harvester as he looks, and not just a person who's features you forget soon after or something that looks increasingly more wrong the longer you stare. john grew up around spooky stories and folklore traditions. he knows that you don't love a god like a person, you love a god by giving them something, with offerings and devotions, so: his body for ritual, which in turn let's the harvester act like the god of the land he is (the fuckin. pumpkin/whatever idol effigies that john gives birth to, they aren't a living thing, they're like the first crops of the season, so the harvester cracks them open and spreads the seeds to the fields)

(when he's not doing ritual devotions for an old harvest god, he works at a museum and writes for the local paper. he also gets coffee with the harvester on a semi regular basis and asks him questions about forgotten centuries of history)

(for context this is all set in some middle of fucking nowhere farm land town in new england. fields for miles, baby)

uhhhh. that's the general gist of it!! there's not a lot to it, the minor details change from ritual to ritual, I just really really wanted to create a setting where I could have a character get knocked up on the regular with enough flexibility to make it weirdly poetic or spooky scary depending on my mood hsshdhfhgh

[nebulouscoffee]

Me, attending the latest in a ridiculous number of funerals this year in the place of a childhood friend who couldn't be there, watching the lifeless body of an old lady who used to make me snacks in the kitchen when I was a kid be carted away forever while my friend's mother cries and tells me she's grateful I could be there because it felt like having the support of her own daughter, hugging her and talking reassuringly and not processing a single one of these emotions: ... I am going to write soooo much fanfiction about this

[wwillywonka]

.

[r-biter]

az for the character bingo. your relationship w him fascinates me

Put gently, i need him dead, but he IS like the most interestingly weird person in the IC likely.

[hood-ex]

Hi, Emily! Sorry to bother you with this but what are your thoughts on Nightwing's new villain Heartless? Like, do you like him, despise him, think he's interesting or... something...? I confess I haven't read the new series of baby boy Dick but I've seen pictures of this dudebro and I'm????? kiiiiiiiiiiiiinda intrigued but not as much as I could?????

I'm kind of indifferent towards him.

He was brought out of his nonverbal state after witnessing Dick's parents fall to their deaths. He reveled in their deaths, and because of that, he kind of has an obsession with the demise of Dick's family. Er maybe not an obsession but... their deaths filled him with life. Using his inherited money, he intentionally had parts of his body amputated and replaced to make him more like a cyborg. Now he goes around ripping people's hearts out of their chests because he loves the thrill of the hunt as well as the fear from his victims.

The fact that he was there the night that Dick's parents died is kind of annoying because there have already been quite a few people/rogues who happened to see the Flying Graysons perform. But eh. It is what it is.

I think TT dropped the ball a bit by introducing Heartless and showcasing him as a menace that needed to be stopped immediately, but then he put Heartless on the back burner and had Dick put all of his attention on stopping Blockbuster instead. Now I know Blockbuster had to be involved at some point in order for Heartless to rip out his massive heart, but by shifting the focus to Dick and Blockbuster so early on, TT took away all the tension and sense of urgency that could've been built up between Dick and Heartless.

Dick's lack of urgency in taking down Heartless made Heartless seem like less of a priority, and therefore, less of a threat. That idea was reinforced when Dick realized that Heartless had ripped out Blockbuster's heart, but instead of putting all his attention into going after Heartless, he went to go babysit a mobster and have sex with Babs.

Later, Heartless broke into a prison and sicced all the prisoners on Bludhaven. Did Dick end up going after him after Heartless fled? Nope. A whole new storyline involving another villain started up instead.

So, yeah, Heartless could be more interesting if he didn't keep popping up just long enough for Dick to be like, "Oh damn!! That heart stealing dude!" and then having Dick forget about him 10 seconds later.

[toughtink]

i know hoyo likes to pretend that aether is the only traveler, but after the lantern rite festival quest this year i really love lumine as the traveler, especially for the liyue storyline. now that we know that guizhong looks a bit like lumine, imagine her first appearing in liyue harbor and zhongli immediately being reminded of guizhong. and then when he sends you to madame ping to pick up guizhong's cleansing bell, knowing that she'll see the resemblance, too. it just makes it kind of sweet and adds some sense into why zhongli so immediately seems to trust the traveler.