#(ANYWAY TIS LATE or technically early BUT I AM EXHAUSTED)

[starstaiined]

Surprise! (Pt. 1)

SUMMARY: Don’t have the brainpower for a pretty blurb, but basically some cute lil fluff centering around the Queen’s first Christmas together (after doing the show for a year) and some secret santa shenanigans! Did half of the exchange now, the other half will be posted in the next few days. 

TW: None, really? Tis a fluffy fic my mates. But there is a bit at the end where they discuss the kids they had in their past lives and how much they miss them, so lil sad piece. 

TAGGING: no one this time i don’t think

Katherine Howard loved Christmas. Even back when the holidays had been rough, living with a dad with a hairpin temper and two older brothers determined to wreck her day, she’d wait eagerly all year for the time of year where she could shower them with affection and they would semi tolerate it. And she was beyond excited to spend this Christmas with the other queens, who didn’t mind her more affectionate ways. 

And the present! If there was one thing she prided herself on, it was her expert gift giving abilities. She’d barely been able to sleep through Christmas Eve, and at six sharp she’d rolled out of bed and carefully padded down to the kitchen. She had decided, in her sleepless haze, that she would make the other Queens a beautiful breakfast to celebrate the holidays, that they could eat before the present exchange. 

Of course, there was one problem with that idea: Kitty had the culinary expertise of a seven year old. Nevertheless she prepared for breakfast. She set up six plates on the table, and immediately set to work making a wreck of the kitchen... 

The other five queens, however, woke to the smoke alarm going off. They stumbled towards the kitchen in alarm, only to find Kat fanning the toaster and looking a little worse for wear. Flour and bits of eggshells clung to her hair, but her smile was undeniably wide as she saw them. “I made breakfast!” Kat hummed happily, gesturing towards the plates on the table proudly. The plates which consisted of: two Eggo waffles that were stiff and brown on the edges but still had frost glittering at their centers, a single cold pop-tart, and a couple forkfuls of rubbery looking eggs — flecked with pieces of eggshells. 

“What-” Anne mumbled, still addled with sleep, before Jane cut her off.

“-a kind thing to do, Kitty! Isn’t it great, girls?” Jane glared at the rest of the queens, who were quick to murmur in agreement and plaster on fake smiles while still eyeing the food warily. 

Aragon ruffled Kat’s hair affectionately. “Why don’t you go sort the presents into piles while I get some hot chocolate going?” And some coffee, she was going to need coffee to get through this. “And thank you for breakfast, Kat, it looks wonderful!” She could worry about the moral implications of lying later, right now she was more than content to enjoy the bright smile on Kat’s face. 

None of the queens were willing to risk hurting Kat’s feelings, so they all (valiantly) choked down their mess of a breakfast. The only one who managed not to gag at all was Cathy, who could eat just about anything with a straight face. (It was the sleep deprivation, it numbed the sense.) Finally, finally, they finished and filed into the living room. 

Kat was on the couch, her gift for her secret santa in front of her while she all but vibrated in place. Jane smiled, settling on the space next to her. Aragon settled down by the tree, Cathy on her left and Anna on her right. Anne sat across from them, her back pressed flat against the wall. Overall, they were in more or less of a circle. Anne, noticing Kitty all but vibrating, nodded to her younger. “I think Kit Kat should start this whole thing off.” 

The rest of the queens seemed fine with that. Kat all but launched herself off the couch, pushing her giant, neatly wrapped box over to Anna. 

Anna carefully peeled off the wrapping paper, being sure to go extra slow as she watched Kat nearly implode. Finally, she stopped teasing the girl and ripped into the present. She tore off the remaining wrapping paper, then opened the box. Inside...was a stack of sweaters. Anna laughed. “This your way of making up for the sweaters you’ve stolen, Kitty?” 

Kat smiled brightly. “No, these are too replenish your stock so I can steal more.” She was only half joking. Nonethless, the others laughed. But Kat was quick to point to the box. “There’s more in there, you’ve got to pull the sweaters out. And be careful!” 

Anna raised a brow, interested piqued, and gingerly pulled out a sweater. There was obviously something hidden in the folds, so she carefully reached inside and pulled out a bottle. She stared in shock at the clear bottle — her favorite brand of vodka — before laughing. She can hear poor Jane sputtering in the background. 

“Katherine! When—How?” Jane stumbled over her words, eyebrows disappearing into her hairline in confusion and concern. 

“I have my ways.” Kat’s lips were pulled into a half smirk, freckled nose scrunching as her eyes glittered in a way eerily similar to Anne’s. (In that moment, the family resemblance was damn near startling.) The others often forgot that Kat could be just as much of a delinquent as her older cousin—those doe eyes hid a penance for mischief. “It’s better not to ask.” 

Jane buried her head in her hands, trying to process what just happened, as Anna continued to open her present. Luckily, or unluckily depending on who you ask, there wasn’t anymore alcohol. There was, however, enough energy drinks to power a small city. Underneath the sweaters and forbidden drinks was a simple best friends matching necklace, clearly home made. One half of a heart hung on a red necklace, the other on a pink one. Anne’s lips quirked into a smile. “So, I can give this necklace to anyone I choose?” 

“Uh huh. Your choice. Totally. One hundred percent.” Kat answered, attempting to appear disinterested. Even so, the smallest twinge of hurt passed over her features. But it disappeared as soon as Anna fixed the other half of the necklace around her neck.

“I was just teasing you, Kat.” Anna said, pulling the younger girl into a half hug. “I love it, all of it. Thank you.” 

Kat beamed, and settled back on the couch. Almost instinctively, Jane held out an arm and Kat curled up to her side. 

Anne watched the scene unfold fondly, glad to see her baby cousin enjoying herself. Her musings, however, were cut short as Anna yelled her name. Anne turned in time to see a small wrapped box flying directly towards her face. She let out a yelp, sticking her hands up to block her face. The box hit the top of her head before bouncing to the floor, and although it didn’t hurt in the least Anne looked up fuming. “What the fuck, Anna?” Her swearing was lost amidst the laughing of the other queens, surprised to see the princess of pranks dethroned. Anne grumbled something under her breath, before unwrapping the small box that had hit her. She opened it and...it was empty? She blinked a few times, confused, before she noticed the scrap of paper. Pulling it out, she read the words in Anna’s chicken scratch writing. Cleaning closet. 

She stood up, walking over to the closet that only Jane really used. Opening it, she found at least ten medium sized, neatly wrapped boxes lining the shelves. Well, that was one way to keep her from going through the presents. She loaded up her arms, and Cathy walked over to help carry the ones that didn’t fit, As she settled back in her seat, she gave Anna a quizzical look. 

Anna just grinned. “Thought I should give your presents a bit more of a personal touch. You know, let them reflect you.” Anne just stared, not getting it, to which Anna sighed. “You know, since you spent so much time in the closet?” 

Jane choked on her hot chocolate, Kat nearly howled with laughter, Cathy buried her head in her hands to hide her grin, and even Aragon couldn’t help the tears of laughter building in her eyes. Anne made a noise of protest, but it died to second it reached her lips—after all no one appreciated a good closet joke more than Anne. She give the queens a couple seconds to settle down, Kitty was still giggling maniacally, before she opened her present. 

Much to the horror of the other queens, they were chock full of pranking material. Itching powder. Realistic looking fake bugs. Fake blood. When Anne pulled out the stinkbombs, Aragon sighed and shot Jane a distressed look. By the time Anne had opened nine of the ten packages, each worst than the last, the queens waited with baited breath for the last package. But when she did, they breathed a sigh of relief. Anne’s eyes gleamed. “Jelly beans!!” Before Anna could say anything, Anne shoved a handful in her mouth...to spit them back out immediately. She looked utterly distraught as dark eyes focused on Anna for an explanation. 

Anna chuckled nervously. “Those....weren’t meant for you to eat, Annie. They’re called beanboozled, they put in a bunch of gross flavors. Thought it’d be good prank material-”

“You ruined jellybeans.” Anne pouted, pushing the last box far away from her. “Jellybeans Anna! That’s sacrilegious.” 

“Oh, stop being so dramatic you big baby. Just give your gift.” Aragon said with a roll of her eyes. Anne glared at her, but nonetheless picked up her gift. She walked over the couch, while Kitty all but vibrated in place. And she handed Jane three boxes, stacked on top of each other and tied off with ribbon. “Start with the biggest box. Kitty helped me with that one.” 

She took it carefully, smiling up at Anne before she unwrapped....a book? Jane’s brow furrowed as she opened it...and found a page carefully decorated with stickers, glitter, and Anne’s loopy script next to a set of adorable candids. She flipped through each page, in shock at the obvious care placed in each page’s appearance. 

And the pictures, they were pictures she’d never seen before. Aragon, caught mid-laugh with her eyes sparkling like the sun. Cathy, illuminated by her computer, sleeping on the kitchen table. Anna scowling down at her video game console. There was even one of her and Kitty. Her arm was thrown around Kat’s shoulders, her eyes shining with love, while Kat looked up at her with a lopsided grin. They were snapshots of real life: like someone had stopped time and caught their honest reactions when they didn’t even notice. Jane’s eyes had teared up while she flipped through, not that she’d noticed. “Where did you get these pictures?” She asked, voice rough with emotion. 

Anne was avidly trying to avoid eye contact. She had never been the mushy type, and she could tell that Jane was on the verge of getting sentimental. “I took them.” Anne answered after a minute. “I like taking pictures when you guys aren’t paying attention. Sometimes you guys look really stupid, and it’s good blackmail material.” She was lying through her teeth, attempting to keep her image. 

Jane saw right through her, but she didn’t say that. Instead she composed herself and nodded. Her fingers traced the cover of the book, before she handed it to Kitty to hold while she opened her next gift. The second box was filled with various kinds of knick-knacks and sweets: aka Anne’s favorite way of expressing her love. It brought a smile to Jane’s face. But it was the last gift that pushed her over the edge. Anne fidgeted uncomfortably as Jane began to unwrap that last gift, all eyes on both of them. 

Inside the last box was a rather plain locket, and a piece of paper. 

Jane’s brow furrowed, and Anne began to explain. Her cheeks burned bright red, her eyes suspiciously bright. “It’s uh — there’s this — ” Anne tripped over her words, looking uncharacteristically on edge. Kitty edged her way over, tilting her head and taking Anne’s hand. The contact seemed to soothe her, and with a shaky exhale she tried again. “There’s a company that sells stars. Like, the stars in the sky. You can buy one, and name it, and then they send you this locket with a picture of your star, and that certificate.” 

“You named a star after me?” Jane asked in confusion, not understanding why Anne seemed so on edge by that. Until...she looked down at the certificate. 

Edward. 

That one word sucked all the air from her lungs. It was lifetimes ago, but the pain had never ebbed. It was a five hundred year old wound that hurt just as much as a five second old wound. Shaking hands opened the locket, and on one side was a picture of a singular star. On the other, Anne had slipped in a portrait of him. Her heart twisted in her chest, and a tear hit the paper. She carefully put the gifts to the side, pulling Anne into a tight hug. 

To her surprise, Anne squeezed back just as hard. They stayed locked in that embrace for a long time, the rest of the room utterly still. When they finally broke from their embrace, both of them were sniffling. It was then that Jane noticed the same locket around Anne’s neck. And it was then that she remembered. Elizabeth. 

As much as Anne hid behind the laughter and the antics and the carefree attitude, she carried around the same pain. It was easy to forget sometimes. Jane squeezed Anne’s hand. Her mouth said, “Thank you.” Her eyes said I understand, and I’m here. 

Anne gave a watery grin back. “Don’t get all sappy on me, Seymour.” She scoffed, but her red rimmed eyes said I know. The two shared a moment of understanding, and then Anne settled on the couch next to Kitty. Her younger cousin curled up to her side and held her hand, and Anne felt some of the tension drain from her shoulders. “Okay Jane, why don’t you give your secret santa their gift? Get the ball rolling again?” Anne said with a forced chuckle. 

[clarawatson]

It Only Takes a Taste

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x [Fem]!Reader (GN pronouns, fem coded stuff, but I’m not sure where this is going as a larger work so we’ll say Fem!reader to be safe) Summary: You work at a diner. Aaron Hotchner falls in love with you. We’re not kidding around trying to make us all sound like profilers, just accept the diner life, we love it here. W/C: 1498 Warnings: none yet!  A/N:  First chapter of that diner!au i was talking about here! AO3 ps. I forgot to tag people, so: @willowrose99 & @genevievedarcygranger my beloveds. If you want to get added to the tag list jump in my inbox and i’ll try to remember to add tags every time i post. Where am I in this series?  01 | 02 | 03 | 04 |

~

When you first meet him it’s 5am and raining. You’re switching over shifts for your friend, Rita, because she’s been doing night shifts at the diner. This late into her pregnancy she shouldn’t be working, not technically, but she needs the money and she’s got insomnia because of the baby, so she works nights now. There’s always someone working with her, be it Joe (who’s got far too much muscle for a chef) or Lola (who can beat anyone to a pulp with a pie tray). In the early hours of the morning a bunch of tatt’ed bikies come and sit and talk about their extracurricular activities (definitely not legal) because one time there was an armed hold up and the police didn’t turn up until two hours after it had happened. People don’t like holding up a diner full of men who eat their own motorbikes for breakfast.

But when he comes in, he’s not any of them. He’s not even one of Lola’s nightly hook-ups (she needs the money, you don’t ask). He’s too well dressed in a grey suit (or is it black? Maybe it’s black), trying desperately to shove his I.D. badge in his pocket. He has a look about him that says ‘I’m part of one of the alphabet soup agencies’. A smile on his face, dead in the eyes, and the weight of the world on his shoulders. He fumbles with his wallet as he squints to read the menu behind the counter. The rain’s stopped dripping from his hair, instead he’s got droplets like his woken with the morning dew upon him.

“Hi love,” Rita coos as she hangs her apron up. She has a look about her that says she’ll eat this man for her breakfast. It’s an effort not to curse those pregnancy hormones some days.

“Go home,” you tell her, swatting her arm. “Put your feet up, rest, sleep while the baby does or some shit.” Rita sticks her bottom lip out and pouts, but she’s making grabby hands for her purse, which is stored where the tea towels used to be. Far too high to reach even when one’s not pregnant. You grab it down for her, ignoring the showering of thank-yous.

The new guy (who is getting more and more handsome by the second) is still looking at the menu. He doesn’t look like he’s going to stop looking and order any time soon.

“Are you sure you’re fine to take the metro in this weather?” you check. She’s rubbing her swollen belly and looking longingly at the booths that haven’t had anyone sit in them for hours now. 

“Wait forty-five minutes and I’ll take you!” Joe yells. He’s slaving over something in the kitchen even though it looks like no one’s ordered in hours. “Wife gave me the car ‘cause of the storm!”

“Forty-five,” you repeat and point her towards the seat that she’s been eyeing off. Rita sighs, nods, then goes out to the seat. “What can I get you?” Usually when addressing the customer you’d add something gentle like ‘sweetheart’ or ‘love’ or ‘dear’ because the customers like it and they come back because they think you’re treating them like a long lost friend.

He bats his dark eyelashes and rubs at his forehead.

“I don’t know.” He sounds tired, balancing on the very edge of exhaustion. He might just fall off into a pit of sleep that he won’t wake up from. Been there, done that. “Do you guys do coffee?”

You laugh and point to the brewed pot beside you. There’s one for each table, free refills with a pie purchase. It’s written in decorative lettering right above you on the blackboard.

“We can put it in a take-away cup. It’s before six so it’s free anyway,” you offer. The last bits a lie, but Joe doesn’t care about a cup or two of coffee going missing. He’ll catch it up later when he flirts with all of the mom’s coming through after school drop off. The new guy nods and pulls out a ten dollar note and shoves it in the tip jar. You raise an eyebrow at him, but he nods anyway. He’s like a broken bobblehead.

“I know.” He goes to the sweets display and searches through it like he’s looking for something specific. Maybe he is. You’ve not seen him in the diner before, and neither has Rita, but maybe he’s one of Lola’s regulars. Maybe you’d judged him wrong. 

“Anything caught your eye?” you ask, leaning over the counter as if you could see it from his angle too. Maybe you do it to show off just that little bit of cleavage. He notices, then looks like he’s done entirely the wrong thing as he licks his lips and blinks like a school boy.

“S-sorry,” he stammers, and Rita giggles. You point at her and give her a stern look, but she just puts her hand over her mouth and lies down on the seat. She’s still silently giggling because her belly keeps bobbing above the table. 

“I just…” he has that exhausted look on his face again.

“Long day at work?” The answer is always yes for the people who work at the alphabet agencies. He nods. “Take a seat, grab some coffee, take a minute. It’s only just gone five, you’ve got time.” 

He nods. He looks like he’s gotten his words all mixed up and they’re just sitting in his mouth, refusing to leave. Tongue tied doesn’t exactly encapsulate what looks like is going on inside his head. He sits at one of the chairs in front on the counter, and takes the coffee cup gratefully as you pass it to him.

He’s definitely an alphabet soup man. He sits in this weird stance like he’s countering his weight against a gun. His shoulders are hunched forward as if he spends hours a day doing paperwork. He’s got a nervous twitch in his hands like sitting still is only going to bring the next case.

You think about making a joke about turning on the cellphone jammer, but last time Joe made that joke the whole place ended up swarming with cops. Absolute disaster. No one’s going to do that one again. 

“Cherry, berry or apple?” you ask, grabbing a plate.

“Sorry?”

“Cherry, berry or apple?” Rita repeats from her booth. “For the pie, sweetheart.”

“Uh, I didn’t—“

“Eat it,” Rita growled. You pull a face at her even though she can’t see you. The guy smiles.

“Apple, please.” Well mannered. Sweet. He looks elated as you slide the apple pie to him and hand him the canned cream.

“Not as good as fresh, but it’s better than nothing.” 

He puts a generous amount on his plate. You half think he might like it more than proper cream. Rita leans up just enough to look at him as he digs in, fanning herself playfully before sighing and collapsing back down.

Joe brings out his tray of caramel salted cookies. They’re thick enough to look like cakes with a gooey caramel center, and they usually sell out pretty quickly. The new guy watches them intently.

“How much trouble am I going to get into if I give those to my son?” 

“How old is he?”

“Ten.”

You smile. That’s a good age. “How much do you hate his teacher?” 

He considers this with a gentle tilt of his head. “Not a lot. I’ll give it to him after school.” He pulls out his wallet again and Joe looks like he’s just hit the mother lode as he grabs one of the cardboard boxes. 

“If you really want to spoil your kid, y/n here can write really pretty on top.” You glare at Joe. He shrugs. He’s covered in cake batter and cookie dough, and smells like pancake batter. He’s always smelling sickly sweet, and like a well lived in home, despite looking like the living embodiment of Gaston. “She does it for my wife all the time.”

The handsome man’s phone buzzes. He checks it, then shovels the rest of his pie in his mouth like a starved man. 

“I have to go,” he says. He gives Joe another ten and tells him to keep the change. Joe looks like he’s about to break into a song and dance. You pour a fresh cup of coffee into a take-away cup and slide it across the counter to him. He thanks you a thousand times over then goes. With his cookie.

“Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?” Rita screeches the moment the door shut with it’s little jingle. “I’ll-show-him-my-cleavage-but-I-won’t-ask-his-name?? No wonder you can’t get a date!”

“I’ll do it next time.” Not that there’s ever a ‘next time’ for these alphabet soup agents. They’re always looking for the next place to go to so they don’t have a ‘regular place’ that can be ambushed. 

But in a perfect world... you’d see him every day.

[dastardlydandelion]

I wish you would write a fic where Susan got to keep her baby for once.

well. hm. what would this look like in my hands. okay, okay, so in this particular scenario, i actually imagine neil was putting 2 + 2 together and finding out susan's preggo right after the move. like, even before susan does. and she's all kinds of alarmed but neil is?? oddly excited?

he's all like, "isn't this great? we get to have a new baby in this new town. what a perfect way to cement our brand new life, huh?"

and susan doesn't want to be hopeful but with neil's positive reaction, she tentatively feels hope anyway. maybe things rly will be different, right?

continues under the cut bc this got fucking long.

yeah, well, neil's good mood lasts until it's actually born and responsibilities ensue. he never had to deal with billy as a baby rly, bc billy's mom took care of that part and also, like. in this 'verse at least, billy was a low-maintenance baby. didn't cry much. maybe he did at first but like, after being dropped on the head a couple times, he just went quiet and didn't rly bother anybody after that. wouldn't get loud again until elementary age. and max didn't come into neil's life until she was even elementary age, so defo past all the baby stuff.

the new infant tho screams like a mofo. everybody in the house is on edge. sleep is hard to come by for the whole household. the care and keeping responsibilities mostly fall on susan but neil holds it against her every. single. time. he has to change a diaper or hold a bottle, as if it's some major failing on susan's part that he should ever have to do anything like this at all.

max tries to help but she can't even hold the baby tbh. it makes her v uncomfortable, she never gets it right and doesn't know what to do when it squirms!! what if she drops it!? plus she thinks baby smells weird even when it's got a clean diaper, an unappealing mashed food and powder combo with a lingering whiff of wet rubber. and billy. is billy. he has to watch it sometimes, naturally. if it's just him and baby at home, he'll blast his stereo to cover up the crying, as long as he knows its other needs have been tended to. like, yk, the "it'll cry itself to sleep eventually," approach. which works actually. metallica becomes the go-to baby lullaby.

but lo and behold, when it's like, let's say 6 months or smth, baby gets an ear infection. like babies do. won't stop wailing. just. will NOT stop. v much in pain and has no other means of communication. neil and max are home. billy is on a date. susan's stuck in a long line at the grocery store. neil had a shitty day at work and he's already aggravated. pacifier isn't working, lil thing just keeps hollering, so. in a burst of frustration, he starts throttling baby. max is in her own room but hears it the second the noises change and hurries to help, blood ice cold.

she stops neil from killing baby sibling but gets a black eye and a bloody nose for her troubles. this is what susan comes home to. i've written a lot of susan kills neil scenarios but i think this is the first one that comes to mind where in this round, it really is out of anger and not fear. both are present, ofc. but the actual act on her part is one of anger. bc she feels stupid that he ever had her the slightest bit convinced a new baby would make anything better. that neil ever made her feel like he'd be better and instead, he chose to be even worse. susan ties him to the bedposts under the guise of a sex thing, convincing neil she wants to treat him to smth special bc he's been oh so stressed out lately. bashes his brains in with a hammer at least 20 times, a la sally challen style.

alas, reality commences and susan goes to prison. ig a long time ago there was this made for tv movie abt this lady killing her abusive husband by setting the bed aflame that gave the public the misconception that women who kill their abusers are typically acquitted, but uh, that's not true. yeah, it was true for the lady whom the movie was based off of, but usually they're convicted and serve unduly harsh sentences for their "crimes." but if i get on that soap box, we gonna be here the whole fucking day, so, moving on now. susan's off to the big house. albeit both baby and max's injuries are documented and considered mitigating circumstances so her charges are reduced from first degree murder to voluntary manslaughter with the potential for early release.

billy's close to 19 so he's an adult, if only technically speaking. has custody of baby and max. i've decided baby in this 'verse is amab but will eventually come out as trans when she's abt ten yrs old. billy tries his best. max tries her best too. baby's nickname is ducky bc the rubber duck?? by far the favorite toy!! baby p much lives in the bathtub, playing with the rubber duck. billy, who would move them back to cali in a heartbeat if it wasn't so far from susan's prison, defo relates. he's also aquatic by nature.

okay, so the move back to cali does happen. over the months of her kids coming to visit her in prison susan can see how exhausted the teenagers are and she's p much just like, 'u guys gotta go. get outta this rural heckhole u hate, stop bringing urselves n my bby to this dismal place.' and they don't think she's serious but the next time they come to visit, she doesn't meet them, so. yup. serious it is. billy, max, n baby take neil's life insurance money and head off to cali.

this is a modern au, okay, inmates sneaking smartphones into the prison n all that. so susan makes deals and friends and does favors, and gets some help from the ones who are good at bitcoin and scams and counterfeiting and what have you. this enables her to do discreet online "shopping." so she gets ducky all kinds of rubber ducks, at least a handful of times a year. the ducks get more unique and less childish as ducky grows. susan apologizes almost every time she talks to the older kids on the phone for like, five yrs. max isn't rly angry with how things ended with neil tho, more so has that residual anger that susan ever got together with neil in the first place. billy doesn't rly know what to feel tbh, accepts the apologies p numbly bc he's too damn exhausted with being the primary caregiver in over his head to even think abt how he feels at the end of the day.

susan gets released on good behavior around the same time ducky comes out, announcing she's a girl. it's an adjustment for billy and max to get used to bc they never rly suspected, but they're 100% supportive. susan is...oddly excited? not for selfless reasons (tho she is earnestly supportive) but bc it's like. not only does that mean trashing the masculine deadname neil had adamantly declared for ducky, but it means all in all, she got out at the perfect time bc she gets to be introduced to the authentic version of her child along w errbody else. makes her feel less left behind, like she didn't miss out on errything despite being put away for a decade. susan moves in with all of them, obvi, in a small house by the seaside filled to the brim with rubber ducks (billy and max also contributed to ducky's collection on birthdays and holidays, the first duck billy ever got has skulls, and the first max ever got is a frankenstein monster duck). home is cluttered, awkward, and tentative but free of fear and ripe with *genuine* new beginnings.

believe me, anonymoose, i am just as surprised as u are at how fuckin long this got.

[samcrobae]

Off Limits, 4

Gif Credit: @pantherclawz

******************************

EZ stepped inside the clubhouse and all eyes were on him. “Rise and shine, kid thanks for joining us. You’re late. The hell you been?” Bishop asked as he sat at one of the tables.

“Sorry Bish, I got tied up with my old man, I was helping him bring some shelves into the shop.” EZ had to think quickly on his feet as all eyes were still on him, “it won’t happen again”.

Bishop and Taza got up and went outside leaving EZ, Coco, Gilly, and Angel inside. Angel delivered a smack to the back of EZ’s head. “Are you fuckin dumb? I told you not to even think about it. That shits over EZ.”

Coco and Gilly exchanged confused glances, “What are we ending?” Gilly asked.

“Oh this morning I went on a hunt to find my baby brother here,” Angel hooks his arm around EZs shoulders, “and this asshole was just leaving Y/N’s apartment bright and early, after having a nice lil shower there, after spending his whole weekend there...” Gilly let out a low whistle and looked down. Coco laughed, “damn Boy Scout I didn’t think you’d have the balls to actually do it! Sucks Bishop will kill you when he finds out.”

“He ain’t gonna find out because he is gonna end this shit.”

“Who’s not gonna find out about what?” You ask as you come up to the men, setting your bag down on the table. “Jesus Christ, there you go. you see? End it. This shit you got going on with him is going to get him killed.” Angel spat as he walked away. Coco and Gilly followed after him, a smirk on Coco’s face.

“We could just come out with it and not care..” you suggested.

“Are you crazy?! Bishop made it clear alright, you were supposed to be off limits to all of us.”

“EZ it’s not like we are running off getting married, I’m gonna be here all summer...can’t we just keep it lowkey? Keep having fun...” you reach over and grab his hand in yours and he clenches his jaw. You lean up and kiss his lips, his jawline, and his neck. “I mean, what do you want, Ezekiel? Is that what you want? Do you really wanna stop fucking me?” Your voice against his neck sends a quick shiver down his spine and he could his jeans grow tighter as he is now hard.

“You’re fucking killing me Y/N...go home. I shouldn’t have let it get that far, We can’t keep doing this...” he takes a step back and gives you a final look before heading to the back.

____________________________

Later that night you sat wide awake in bed, unable to sleep becuase no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t get him out of your mind. You didn’t want to settle down, be in a relationship, but being his friend and getting to sleep with him wouldn’t hurt nobody right? You felt an ache between your legs and you reached over to your night stand and grabbed your phone.

You kneeled on the bed and slightly lifted your shirt to expose some of the skin of your tummy, wearing a pair of black lace panties and snapped a picture and typed up a message before hitting send. “I really wish you were here to take these off.. 😘” you then lay on your back and get a video of you sliding your fingers into your panties, drawing slow circles over your center, then slipping your panties to the side and exposing yourself to the camera. “I need you EZ..”. Sent.

EZ was with Coco and Angel when his phone lit up, your name displaying on screen. Angel notices and watches as EZ opens his phone and quickly lowers it to cover whatever he’s looking at. EZ licks his lips and then puts his phone back in his pocket, a smirk on his face and then chugged the rest of his beer. “Don’t do it asshole. Don’t go see her.” Angel says. Coco looks over at Angel. “See who? Y/N?”

EZ gets up from his chair and throws his kutte on. “I gotta go, I’ll see you guys later”.

You waited 20 minutes and No reply. You let out a deep sigh and then reached over and turned off your light when you heard 3 knocks at your door. You slowly make your way to the living room and look through your peephole, surprised to EZ there. Unlocking your door, you open it and stare at him, a knowing grin across your lips. He quickly moves inside and slams the door shut behind him.

————————————————

The next few weeks went the same. He’d work his shift at the clubhouse, you’d work your shifts at the local hospital and spend your days off at the clubhouse. At this point, EZ practically spent all of his free time at your place. Always being very careful to make sure he wasn’t followed. Angel, Coco, and Gilly were privy to the fact that you and EZ had become some sort of “thing” but really didn’t know what to make of it. Hell, you didn’t even know what to make of it.

Pulling into the parking lot of the mall, where you and EZ spent most of the time eating when you’d grab something to eat, you dig through the bag and hand him his burger and fries. “EZ I’m so tired of sneaking around it’s kinda exhausting. We aren’t dating right ? So I mean who cares if someone sees us out in an actual restaurant eating at An actual table? Technically we aren’t doing anything wrong right?” You shove a couple fries into your mouth.

“That’s not the point Y/N.. if the wrong person sees us out, and it gets back to Bishop...”

“Okay fine, can you open a window? The smell of this food sitting In the car is starting to make me feel sick.” You say as you lower a window.

—————————————————

“You good? You been in there a while..” EZ knocked on the bathroom door as you hugged the toilet bowl. You were at Angels house for dinner with Angel, EZ, Coco, and Gilly.

“Yeah I’m fine just one second..” you managed to choke out. You wash your mouth and open the door greeted by a concerned EZ. “Hey you alright?”

“Yeah I’m fine, my stomach just has been feeling so fucked up lately... like since last week it’s like no matter what I eat, it just comes back up. It’s taking all of my strength it seems. I’m just gonna go home, I just want to go to bed.”

“You sure? You want me to come with you?” He asks.

“Yeah it’s okay, see you tomorrow.” You grab your purse and phone and head out.

“Where is she off to in such a hurry?” Angel motions to the front door.

“Home. I don’t know, she isn’t feeling too good I guess. She hasn’t been all week. I don’t know.” EZ takes a drink of his beer and looks at the Mayan men who are now staring back at him with raised brows.

He swallows and lets out a “What?”

“You sure she ain’t knocked up? You been wrapping it before you tap it right Boy Scout?”

“Yeah she’s definitely not pregnant.”

—————————————

“How the fuck am I pregnant?! You mutter to yourself and you stare at the 4 tests on your bathroom counter. How were you gna tell EZ? Your uncle? Your father? You never thought about having kids... this wasn’t part of the plan.

Summer was almost over and you were almost ready to head back home. This wasn’t supposed to happen. What if you didn’t tell anyone and just went home? What EZ didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. But you recalled the story he told you about Emily. Fuck. You can’t do that to him. He deserves to know. Shit. Shit shit shit. You get in the car and head to the clubhouse.

You pull in and everyone is sitting outside. “Hey mija” Bishop greets you. “Is everything okay? You look upset.”

“Yeah I’m fine, just came by to hang out. I have a day off finally. I’m gonna head inside and grab a water. Be back.”

You pass EZ and motion for him to go inside with you and he follows. “What’s wrong? You okay?”

“Um.. I.. just need to talk to you about something. But don’t freak out..”

EZ leaned against the bar as you sat on one of the stools.

You were choking on your words, unable to speak, when you finally blurted it out. “I’m pregnant, Ezekiel. It’s yours. And before you say anything, I don’t want or need anything from you, I’m not asking you for anything. I just-you deserved to know. I’m going home in a couple weeks anyway but I wanted to tell you before I left. I haven’t decided what I want to do and-"

“Wait stop, slow down. You’re pregnant? With my kid? Wait and you’re still going to leave ?” His voice slowly getting louder, “ You haven’t decided what you want to do? Do I get a say in this? Do I get to be part of the decision making process?”

“EZ lower your voice” you warn.

“No, screw That. Let them hear. Don’t go home. Easy. Decision made. Shit Y/N. it’s my kid.”

“EZ we can’t have a kid we aren’t even together. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Remember? Off limits.”

“Okay but I don’t care about that now, that’s out the window. What if I want this kid?”

The door to the clubhouse swings open and Bishop looks back and forth at the both of you. “Everything alright, Y/N?”

“EZ I can’t talk abut this anymore. Not today.” You move past him and head for the door.

“Y/N wait... Y/N!” He called out your name and you were out the door. Everyone watched in silence as EZ kicked over the barstools and leaned forward, his hands resting on the bar.

“What the fuck was that about kid?” Bishop came up behind EZ.

EZ stared forward, tears forming in his eyes. “Y/N... she’s... she’s pregnant.. with my kid.” He looks at Bishop. “I’m sorry Bish.”

—————————————————

Tag list: @starrynite7114 @briannab1234 @gemini0410 @ifoundmyhappythought t @briana-mishell24 @blackmissfrizzle @carlaangel86 @woahitslucyylu @marvelmaree @thickemadame @wrcn9fvlcver @sweetcannolicarisi @jadert15 @toni9

[icequeenoriginal]

Dante felling lady about the time as a kid he broke into the tiger enclosure to pet it.

Author’s Note: Thanks for the prompt!

Warning: drinking mentioned, beer mentioned, breaking and entering, arrest mentioned

~

Night after they met, Dante and Lady shared a beer as it was the only thing Dante had in his fridge at that time. They were both too tired and mentally exhausted to want to get anything else. So they drank in silence for a bit before having a long heart-to-heart talk. 

It was the sweetest thing anyone has done for either of them. 

It became their thing. Each week, they would spend one night just talking. Usually, they would talk about what had happened the past week, whether it about the recent job one went or the jerk in line at the grocery store. Rarely, they would let the other in on their past, though they would blame the alcohol after. 

~

Dante walks into the shop to see that Lady is already setting up for vent night, as Dante labeled it. He watches as she puts the beers and chips onto the coffee table. He smiles and sits on the couch.

Lady joins him and says, “You will not believe what I saw today.”

“A bold statement, considering most of the things I have seen in my life.”

Lady laughs but didn’t disagree. On one mission, she fought a fish demon with legs and it was weird. She doesn’t like to talk about it.

“So what did you see, Lady?” Dante asks as he grabs a beer and opens it.

“So you know the zoo in the next town over?” Dante nods. “Well, I was walking through it after my last job, just to have a nice break and I saw a guy getting arrest. Nothing too strange until I found out why he was arrested. Get this? Apparently, he jumped into the area where the penguins where. He yelled that he was king of the penguins, and all the penguins of the world would follow him as he takes over the world. Well, the penguins in the exhibit started pecking at him until the police arrive.”Dante laughs, almost dropping his beer in the process. “Seriously? His own people betrayed him?”

Lady giggles and picks up some chips, “Yup, and he was sobbing like a baby when they dragged him away because he was ‘so heartbroken about it.” 

Dante shakes his head, “Crying over penguins. That’s not even the most dangerous exhibit to break into.”

Lady eats some chips before asking, “Oh? And what exhibit would that be?”

“Easy, tiger. It’s also so much more exciting.”

Lady raises an eyebrow, “Do you have any experience with this?”

“Well…”

Lady gaped at him, “No way, you didn’t.” Dante just smirks at her. “You broke into a tiger exhibit?!”

“Technically, it’s called a tiger enclosure.”“What? How? Why?” Lady asks, clearly fascinated.

Dante smirk softens into a genuine smile, “Now that is a fun story. I was about 14 years old.”

~Dante was a very adventurous teenager. With no parents and no school to control him, he could do whatever he wanted. Within reason, of course, so that orphanage he was staying out wouldn’t kick him out. 

That didn’t mean he wouldn’t push the limit whenever possible. 

One day, the orphanage brought everyone to the zoo as a mandatory outdoor activity. He had a pretty okay time. It was nice to see all the animals and just have something to do that day. 

After lunch, the group went to watch the tiger show. Dante was fascinated by the trick the tiger did, jumping, climbing, and even swimming. The humans involved were okay, but they did block his view a few times. 

Near the end of the show, the tiger makes its way over to Dante. It stares at him with a look of curiosity, and Dante does the same. He reaches for it, but the glass separating them prevents him from petting the tiger. Dante sees that there is a small amount of space between the glass and tries to stick his finger through, but it is too small even for his thin fingers.

Dante frowns, this would not do. That tiger needs to be pet.

As the rest of the orphanage spends the bus ride talking about their experience to one another, Dante starts plotting his plan. 

~Once he gets back to his room in the orphanage, he packs his bag. He knows that this will probably get him kicked out if he got caught. Dante didn’t care, he was getting bored of this town anyway.

“Where are you headed, Tony?” his roommate asks.

“Somewhere, tell the lady at the desk that my bed is free,” Dante replies. He grabs his dad’s sword and runs out of the orphanage. 

He heads out, trying not to be seen by any police officer. He is lucky to have the cover of the night protecting him. 

As soon as he gets to the zoo, he ties his bag to his sword. He throws the sword over the gate and climbs over, his demon agility coming in quick handy. 

He lands near his bag and smiles at the scene. The sight of animals sleeping in the dim moonlight was fascinated. 

He makes his way over to the tiger enclosure and sees that the tigers are asleep. He slashes the lock with Rebellion. Dante pauses to take a moment to appreciate how nicely he cut the lock. 

The tigers wake up as he opens the door but this doesn’t stop Dante from going in. The tigers watch him as he stands in the middle of the cage with a huge grin on his face. The tiger from the show makes its way over. It stands in front of him, continuing to stare at it.

Dante reaches out and the tiger growls at him. Dante doesn’t flinch though and puts his hand on the tiger. He pets it gently and the tiger stops growling. After a few minutes, it begins to let out a purr. The other tigers notice this and move closer to Dante. They circle him but do not do anything else. 

Dante pets as many as he can, this is the best moment of his life.

“HEY! GET OUT OF THERE!”

The moment’s over.

Dante turns to see a security guard pointing a flashlight at him. One of the tigers growls and tackles the security guard to the ground and the guy screams. Dante uses this as a chance to escape but stops to wave goodbye to the tigers. He runs and barely makes it passed two security guards who come after him. He jumps over the fence and heads for the train station. He laughs when he looks over his shoulder and sees the guard struggling to unlock the gate.

Dante doesn’t stop running until he gets to the train station. He jumps the turnstile, timing it perfectly so when he lands he rolls onto the train just as the doors are closing. 

He flops into a seat in the empty late-night subway car and laughs some more. he gets comfortable and waits for the train to take him to the next city. 

~

“And that’s the whole story,” Dante says as he puts his now empty beer bottle on the table.  

“Wow, I have to say, I am impressed,” Lady adds before standing up and stretching, “I’m going to head to bed, I have an early job tomorrow. Goodnight, Tiger Boy.”Dante smiles as he watches her go; a small blush appears on his face. 

Maybe he should take Lady to the zoo someday.  

~

Taglist:

@maedousae @dxlpartyboat​ @therandornone​ @super-jump​ @mad-hatter-teacups  @strawderryst​​ @honor-strength-passion​ @cherryinerror​ @prinxe-nothing​

[leechonspeeddial]

Midnight Shift: The Serpent at Burger King - A Seduction of Kevins Summary: The Devil comes disguised as everything you want, Alice Cullen comes with fondue fountains and Bugattis. wc: 1.7k Read on ao3

There was one simple lesson I learned from a young age and quickly internalized while living as a Cullen.

Never play chess with a psychic.

You think a mind reader is a problem? No, you just have to add on geographical distance and then you're back on an equal playing field; as long as you keep apart, you can use your best strategies and winning is still possible. A psychic though, there is no distance you can go to be hidden from their sight. Once they get their teeth in you, your odds at winning are – for a lack of a better word – shit. So, as I held Alice's gaze at our local Burger King, I reminded myself this one very important rule.

Never play chess with a psychic.

Too late.

If you did find yourself playing chess with a psychic, the best course of action would be to become irrational and flip the board. You might not win, but neither would they and you'd save yourself the effort. I took a deep breath and assessed the situation. There were currently five humans with ten pairs of working human eyes at the restaurant; flipping the board would be disastrous, either people would die or they'd bear witness to vampiric activity. So that's out of the question, next strat.

Though Alice had gotten used to reading around the blind spots caused by me, she hadn't totally mastered it yet. My best choice was to act without thinking and take over the conversation as much as possible. That, well, that I could manage no problem.

"Well, well, well. What do you have to say for yourself, Mr. Assistant Manager?" I addressed Gay Kevin, hoping to also neutralize Jasper. Mr. Emotional Roofie was another obstacle here, trying to goad my coworkers so that they emotionally overwhelm him was my best shot. "Showing up two hours late to your shift with no warning?"

Gay Kevin looked exhausted.

"Please, not in front of the customers," he sounded embarrassed. Not Kevin snorted and took the interruption as an opportunity to make Milkshake boy his drink and get away from Alice. Meanwhile, Straight Kevin hopped over the counter and directly headed towards the old fries – if we didn't do our duty to eat them, they would be thrown out.

I also took notice of the guy that came in with the Kevins; he was shorter than Gay Kevin but slightly taller than Straight Kevin, he had thick black hair, but more importantly, he carried a video camera with him. He observed us, brown eyes full of amusement, and I sincerely hoped he was a vlogger.

"They aren't customers," I chirped with a predatory smile.

"I am a one though," Milkshake boy frowned. I waved him off.

"You're Not Kevin adjacent. You don't count," Gay Kevin looked increasingly irritated despite Jasper's attempt at giving chill vibes. He crossed his arms.

"So, what's this? You decide to throw a party while I was gone?"

I was about to retort when Alice interrupted me. I glared.

"There IS a party involved, but not here and not right now. Alice Cullen, nice to meet you, I'm –"

"Resentment's sister," Alice scrunched up her nose but nodded.

"Yup! And I came here to personally invite you, other Kevin, and Not Kevin to Nessie's party"

"You said you were born on 9/11," Straight Kevin's said accusingly with a mouth full of fries.

"It's not a birthday party," Alice tried to clarify, only to be drowned out by Not Kevin.

"You were born on 9/11?" I turned to address him and realized he was making Milkshake boy a chocolate shake, ruining all the hard work I put into my performance. Today was definitely not my day.

"I mean, yeah, but not like 9/11 9/11. I'm only 16," Not Kevin nodded but then his eyes widened as a realization seemed to hit him.

"Oh fuck. I forgot that was 20 years ago…"

"I wasn't even born 20 years ago," Straight Kevin added and it seemed to act as a punch to Not Kevin's gut.

"God, you guys are babies. I remember my parents picking me up from kindergarten early and being glued to the news for the rest of the day," Gay Kevin's statement also appeared to have a negative effect on Not Kevin, making him look even more miserable. Camera man looked like there was no place he rather be. Alice, well, she looked endlessly irritated.

"I feel so old" Not Kevin whispered, shell-shocked.

"You are old. What are you, like 50?" Not Kevin glared at me.

"What's 9/11?"

I blinked. Everyone went quiet and stared at Milkshake boy, who looked very confused. No one spoke for a full beat.

"Jack's 19 and, uh, Canadian," Not Kevin shrugged helplessly and said as if that explained everything. He handed the kid his milkshake.

"Hey, I thought there weren't any Oreos –"

"ANYWAY," Alice said loudly and we all looked at her, "it's not a birthday party. It's more like a celebration of Nessie's first job. Our family would love to have all of you for dinner"

"She means that we'd love to have you at the event. Not that we want to eat you for dinner," Jasper added unnecessarily and made me want to face palm. So, I did.

"I wasn't worried about possible cannibalism when she said it, but now I am," Straight Kevin took a wary step away from Jasper. Alice rolled her eyes.

"There will be plenty of free food and you can take as many leftovers as you want with you," Straight Kevin seemed to seriously consider this.

"I'm in," Alice handed him a pink envelope and smiled. Fuck.

Improvise.

"Speaking of customers. We have one right now," I pointed at Camera man, "so we can't deal with you right now," I tried to push Alice out the store but she held her ground.

"I'm also not a customer," he shrugged, "I came for the rats"

Shit.

"Tài…don't do this" Gay Kevin pleaded.

"My hands are tied. I promised my audience," so he was some sort of vlogger. This was admittedly the only good thing that has happened today.

"See, he's not a customer. I can stay," I groaned at Alice's smug tone.

"Technically, you're both loitering. So, neither of you should stay"

"I agree with the Assistant Manager"

Alice and I stared down at each other while Camera man and Gay Kevin had a silent conversation with their eyes. For the next while, the only sounds that could be heard in the restaurant were Straight Kevin loudly chewing, Milkshake boy slurping, and Olivia Rodrigo's drivers license playing on the speakers.

Suddenly, Not Kevin snapped his fingers, drawing our attention to him.

"You know, it occurs to me that since both Kevins are finally here, I can take my break. Come on Jack, I'm taking you home," he quickly made his way around the counter and grabbed Milkshake boy. "I'll make sure to call if I'm somehow two hours late," I smirked at Alice as her eyes narrowed. I greatly encouraged any action that made her look like that.

Milkshake boy tilted his head and didn't let himself be dragged out of the joint. I had half a mind to help Not Kevin.

"But dad said to –"

"Your dad will be ok with this as long as you don't set the house on fire. Again" Milkshake boy frowned.

"It happened once. I said I was sorry"

"Yeah, yeah. Come on bud, time's ticking"

Finally, that seemed to get Milkshake boy moving and heading to the door.

"Don't forget your invite!" Alice called out.

"We're good," Not Kevin responded with a hand on the door and the other pulling the teen along.

"Did I mention there will be a fondue fountain?"

Not Kevin hesitated by the door and I could only feel horror as my stomach dropped. Not Kevin was weak for cheese and cheese related by-products.

"Chocolate or cheese?"

"Both," I held my breath. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fucking fair.

"Shame, I'm on a diet"

"You aren't –"

And they were both gone before Milkshake boy could finish calling out Not Kevin's blatant lie. I fist bumped the air and stuck my tongue out at Alice, fully intending to gloat over this minor victory.

That is, until I saw Alice smiling.

Fucking psychics.

"What's got you so smug," I snarked, hoping to get a hint of whatever vision she just had. She smirked and I could tell she could see right through me. So much for not playing chess with psychic.

"I had a sudden revelation that everything will be alright," her eyes twinkled with mischief and, not for the first time, I was very jealous of Edward. Why the fuck did he get the mind reading powers? Tactile thought projection was so stupid and useless the majority of the time.

"You're so fucking annoying"

"I prefer the term persistent," I'd prefer if she was set on fire. "Which reminds me, hey boys"

Camera man and Gay Kevin stopped doing whatever the hell they were doing and paid attention to Alice, who was holding up one her dumb little pink envelopes.

"What do you say, a chance to eat fancy rich people food and see some fancy rich people cars," Camera man turned to Gay Kevin.

"Babe"

"Is this like, appropriate. Professionally speaking," Gay Kevin scrunched up his nose trying to figure out the etiquette of this weird ass situation.

"I'm more than happy to take you guys on a spin in my brand-new Bugatti"

"Babe"

"Why does this feel like bribery?" Gay Kevin narrowed his eyes at Alice, he seemed incredibly suspicious.

"Because it is," I growled and attempted to set Alice on fire with my stare.

"And I fully admit it. I just want to throw a good party, and guest are a very important part," she stretched out her hand towards Camera man, "think about it, that's all I ask"

Camera man and Gay Kevin shared a look, and Camera man grabbed the envelope. Ugh.

"Wonderful! Remember to R.S.V.P., we'll leave you to it," she waved and grabbed Confederate hubby.

They walked away and I could hear Alice speak, her voice far too low for human ears, but just the right volume for me.

"There's been a change of plans, we're meeting up Esme"

I scowled. I knew it was bait, I knew Alice wanted me to hear her, and it was driving me insane. Why would they need to see Esme? Why would Alice want me to know this?

I fucking hated my life.

[angel-tries-to-write]

Ezio’s Family

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Rating: Mature Pairing: Ezio Auditore x fem!reader Word count: 2865 Genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

What if you were in Villa Auditore during the Borgia attack?

You arrived to Villa Auditore early enough to get impatient, waiting for Ezio to come back. It was high time to announce your relationship, now that all this war had ended and you two could finally have a well-earned rest. There was also one more thing you needed to tell your man and you couldn’t wait to see his reaction, but that would have to wait. Your duties didn’t let you go with him to Vatican and you didn’t have a chance to talk earlier, so you decided to tell him when everything was over.

That day had come, you were helping to organize a surprise birthday party for Claudia, when you heard the voice you knew so well. You couldn’t properly understand the words because of the distance, but judging by the tone, he was flirting with some girl. You hoped poor lass hadn’t thought she was special to him or something, because unlike her, you knew that flirting with women was as natural to Ezio as breathing. And you didn’t mind, you were used to it and actually it was pretty funny to watch him try to charm resisting girls. Many times you laughed hard at his failures, fully knowing you were his biggest one. He tried his tricks on you many times and none of them worked. You were immune. Yet you fell for him hard, but it had happened when he expected it the least: when he was defeated, wounded, vulnerable. You were sure that the exact moment it happened was when you saw him crying because of pain and you knew very well that he was tough and he wasn’t crying easily. You hugged him then, let him cry and scream, you did your best to ease his pain. When he fell asleep exhausted, you stayed by his side, taking care of him and watching as he slept. Then you realized you love that man and you didn’t fell for him because of his charm and flirting.

Soon after that you confessed your feelings, of course totally unexpectedly. You were fighting about his usual recklessness and carelessness. The rest was very typical, he asked why are you making this much fuss about it, you yelled infamous “because I love you” and Ezio was struck speechless. He never expected you to actually fall into him. After that you started dating, secretly, to protect each other. When the Templars were finally gone, you could live in a relative peace.

Unfortunately you didn’t have the chance to talk to Ezio, because of other people who flooded you with questions about the party. Both of you were too busy to talk even for a moment. You didn’t even manage to join the others in the study and listen Ezio’s story. But it didn’t matter, you could always ask him later. Time was all you had. Besides, organizing the party was more important to you, Claudia deserved it. That’s how you ended up preparing a bath in the late evening, to relax and rest. Just when you began undressing, you’ve heard footsteps and the door opened. You froze behind the screen, holding your dress before it fell to the ground. Listening, you waited. You had heard the gear being taken off, then the clothing and finally a splash of water. Looked like you were going to have a company in your bath. Not that you minded. You quickly and silently finished shedding your clothes and peeked out of the screen to make double sure that you weren’t mistaken about the person who took your bathtub. You weren’t.

“That was my bath” you spoke, leaving your hiding spot. Ezio immediately opened his eyes and looked at you. That love and admiration on his face were your favorite sight ever.

“Forgive me, bellissima (beautiful)” he answered, looking at your naked body with utter delight.

“Mind if I join?” you asked seductively, swaying your hips while approaching the bathtub.

“Never” the man watched you entering the tub. Technically there wasn’t enough space for two, but you didn’t care. Besides Ezio quickly pulled you as close as possible and you took the opportunity to clash your lips together. Passionate and hungry kisses were the best proof of how much you missed each other.

You two finished your bath without a word, only kissing and washing each other. When you were ready, Ezio carried you to bed where he intended to do anything but sleeping. Well, maybe later, now was the time for the best night of your life.

“Ezio?” you asked some time after, when you managed to steady your breaths.

“Si, amore (Yes, love)?”

“Remember how we talked about kinks and some other stuff and you suggested it could be funny if I called you ‘daddy’?” you asked hesitantly.

“Have you changed your mind?” he joked, not really sure where were you going with that.

“No, of course not. But I need to tell you that soon you will be called that. Just not by me” you looked at your lover, unsure if he understood what did you mean.

“What do you mean? Are you…”

“I am.”

Ezio stared at you for a moment, completely speechless.

“Are you serious? It is not a joke? I’m going to be… a father?” he stared at you with disbelief, trying to make sure it was true.

“Si, amore mio (Yes, my love). We are going to have a baby in a few months” you took his hand and placed it on your belly. It was too early to feel anything, but the simple gesture was supposed to be meaningful. He kissed you so hard he took your breath away.

“It is the best news I could hear” he said, finally pulling away. Even in the darkness you could see how his eyes were shining with happiness.

“I’m glad you are happy” you said relieved. Deep down you really worried that he might be angry or disappointed, or that he might even leave you.

“My war has ended, the woman of my life will give me a child and we are safe and sound. How am I not supposed to be happy?” Ezio laughed, kissing you again. “But you can make me even happier.”

“How?”

“Marry me.”

“Ezio Auditore da Firenze, you can be so romantic when flirting and you propose like that?” you stared at him with disbelief.

“W-well… you never liked flirting and casually romantic things, so I thought-” he started to explain with so much panic in his voice, that you had to silence him with a kiss.

“I will marry you. I was just messing with you” was your answer, before you giggled.

“Ti amo (I love you)” he whispered.

“Ti amo anch'io (I love you too). And I do not need romantic gestures to know it.”

The rest of the night you spent busy with each other, you barely even noticed it was dawn. Or that you fell asleep, exhausted after a whole night of lovemaking. You noticed that when a loud boom woke you up.

“What was that?” you sat up, looking around.

“Mercenaries. They are testing their cannons” Ezio answered sleepily. You sighed and lied down on his chest again.

And then a cannonball hit the room, destroying it.

The assassin senses reacted before the consciousness. Ezio rolled you two over, covering you with his body. He then looked angrily at the destruction and jumped out of the bed, trying to grab some clothes. You followed him, getting to yours. A simple dress was all you could grab, before another shot shook the villa. You quickly slipped into the dress, glad that it was possible to wear it on the bare skin.

You and Ezio exchanged a quick glance and a nod before he jumped out of the ruined window, leaving you on your own. He knew you were able to take care of yourself and you didn’t need his assistance. You fled the bedroom grabbing only Ezio’s pouch that happened to lie nearby. You could do without weapon for a while, but it would be easier with money. Besides, disarming the opponents in the middle of a fight was easier than robbing them.

You had found Claudia and Maria, then you helped them get rid of some Borgia’s soldiers which left you equipped with a sword, but you knew you need to run. You were outnumbered, there was no way you could win. When you received the signal to retrieve, you didn’t even try to play the hero. You had to protect your unborn child. You ran away as quickly as possible, heading to the Sanctuary. Maria was waiting there with other civilians. Soon after that you saw Ezio. He looked terrible, but there was no time to think about it. Safety first.

He led all the people safely out of the underground tunnels. Then, after you were safe, was the time to talk.

“(Y/n)! Are you hurt?” Ezio rushed to you as fast as he could, when he noticed you.

“No, it’s just a scratch. We are fine” you assured him. Your dress was ripped and dirty, you had a few minor wounds and your bare feet were cold, but you could handle it.

“Bene (Good). Take my mother and sister to Firenze. Get me a horse!” he ordered not considering any objections.

“Where do you think you’re going?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Roma.”

“Ezio, you are wounded. You are bleeding. You can’t go anywhere” you protested, pointing at the pools of crimson on his shirt.

“I have to. And you have to go somewhere safe” he said and you knew he was angry, exhausted and distressed. But it didn’t mean he had to be stupid and blind.

“And let you get yourself killed? No way.”

“What would you do anyway?”

“I can at least go with you.”

“No.”

“I am an Assassin too, I can take care of myself. I’m going” you stated firmly.

“I need you to take care of my family. I can not risk losing you. Especially now” Ezio tried to stay calm, but you saw the storm that was raging inside him.

“I feel better than you. I will be fine, I-” you were silenced by a strong kiss. You knew he wanted the best for you.

“You need to stay safe. Do you think I don’t wish to take you with me? I could use help, but I will not take this risk” he put his hand on your stomach.

“This is exactly why I have to help you. To protect our family” you covered his hand with yours.

“No. You will go to Firenze and stay safe” he pulled back and mounted the horse. Then he left and all you could do was to yell some curses at him.

“We are not going to Firenze” you decided, looking at two women.

“Bene (Good)” agreed Claudia. “Roma then?”

“Si (Yes)” you nodded. “I’ll go first and make sure Ezio will survive this journey” you decided.

“Be careful, dear, in your state you can not be sure of anything” said Maria and you looked at her, surprised.

“You know?” you asked, this time raising both your eyebrows.

“I am a mother. I can notice what others miss. As soon as I saw you, I knew you are with a child” the woman explained, smiling warmly.

“We wanted to tell everyone today. I would do that earlier, but I decided Ezio should know first” you said sheepishly.

“It was a good decision. How did he react?”

“I have never seen him more happy. We thought…” you sighed “…we thought it was a good time. That we could take this break to have a baby and go back to our duties later. We could not expect the Borgia to attack this soon” you looked up at the ruined village.

“Did he finally propose?” Claudia asked. Her mother shot her a warning glare, but you just giggled.

“He did. In absolutely non-romantic way, but I never liked these overly romantic stuff. So I said yes” you said and she hugged you tightly.

“You have no idea how long this idiot intended to do that.”

“I can imagine” you nodded. “Anyway, I’ll better be going. We can’t let our stupido (idiot) to die on his way to the city” you smiled and asked for a horse. “See you in Roma” you bid them farewell and left.

As you predicted, you had found Ezio on the ground, unconscious because of the blood loss. You kept your distance so he wouldn’t notice you following him, therefore it took some time until you reached him. You were lucky enough to find someone who could help you, so you could take care of your beloved. Unfortunately you couldn’t nurture him yourself, because as soon as Machiavelli learned that both of you came to Rome, he asked for your help. He let you get some rest and buy new robes for you and Ezio, but soon after that you were engaged in the job.

A few days passed, you basically lived in the hideout on Tiber’s Island, too busy with helping Machiavelli to even ask about Ezio. Rome was in a terrible state and there was a lot of work to do. Unfortunately, one of your missions didn’t end up well. Your target was successfully killed, but some guards spotted you. As you were running away, you jumped from the roof and you felt your ankle dropping under your weight. That didn’t look good. You quickly stood up and a jolt of pain shot your whole leg so you almost fell again. You tried to ignore it and you managed to run, but you were limping and it hurt like hell. All you had to do was to find a crowded place. Luckily there was one nearby and you quickly lost the guards, so you could hobble back to the hideout. Before you reached it, you were exhausted and sweaty and your injuried ankle was swollen and sensitive. You closed the door of the hideout behind you and leaned heavily on the desk.

“(Y/n)? What are you doing here? What happened?” you heard Ezio’s worried voice. What was he doing there and why didn’t you know about it?

“I must have twisted my ankle, nothing serious, but hurts like hell” you admitted, giving him a tired look. When the man tried to pick you up you pushed him away. “Don’t you dare. I bet your wounds are not fully healed yet and I don’t want you to reopen them” you moved to the chair and only then you let Ezio take care of your ankle.

“Did you do the job?” asked Machiavelli, who you somehow didn’t notice at first.

“I did. But that was my last target, at least for a some time. The smell of blood irritates my sensitive stomach” you said, not getting into the details to save your dignity.

“Since when do you have a sensitive stomach?” Niccolò raised an eyebrow in surprise and confusion.

“Since I am pregnant.”

“You are pregnant and you did not say anything? You let me send you on this mission fully knowing you were not in your best form?” he yelled and you stared at him, eyes wide. You always thought of him as a cold, insensitive man who coldly calculated everything. You certainly hadn’t expected to be yelled at.

“That is why I told you to go to Firenze” Ezio added, bandaging your ankle.

“I am pregnant, not disabled” you stated calmly. “And I am Assassin, not a delicate noble girl. I can handle it. You do not have to be overprotective.”

“We are not overprotective.”

“Yes, you are. The moment Machiavelli was told I’m pregnant, he freaked out. You have sent me away. Me, your best friend and long-time partner in fight. Only because I carry your child, you suddenly perceive me as vulnerable and defenseless. But I am not. When the baby grows and the pregnancy is visible, I will step away. But for now, as long as I can still move swiftly and run freely, I want to spend the time I have left the best I can” you looked into your fiancé’s amber eyes with tenderness.

“Bene allora (Alright then). I will find you a fitting job that will be safe and will keep you busy. Actually I might have one already. We are going to restore Assassin Brotherhood. The new recruits will need a teacher. How does that sound?” Ezio looked at you, waiting for an answer.

“That sounds pretty good” you nodded. “An important but relatively safe task. I can do it.”

“We have a deal then” he said and you smiled. It was obvious he was this overprotective because he had already lost half of his family and he didn't want you or your baby to share this fate. But you were glad he understood he had to trust you to take care of yourself. And you knew you couldn't fail him. After all that happened he deserved to be finally happy. And you were going to do everything to make him the happiest man in the whole world.

[connywrites]

of flesh and blood 8

start - part [7] and earlier

“Detective Reed’s been acting strange lately,” Jeffrey said with confusion and shook his head, before letting out an amused ‘heh’ of surprise.

“But he’s gotten more work done since…” leaning forward, he adjusted his glasses to squint at the files.

“Since he started working at the DPD.” Hank stood with his arms folded, eyes narrowing with a skeptical gaze and a slow nod.

“Does Connor help you like that?” His voice was genuinely curious as he turned back to Hank, looking up at him.

“Help, sure. Train? Not a chance,” he said gruffly with a chuckle.

“Androids training people… and to think it worked,” Fowler said with disbelief.

“Huh. A human sure as hell couldn’t do it.” They shared another moment of laughter, something they hadn’t done in long enough neither of them would remember.

“How’s the case going, Anderson?” Hank sighed, letting his hands fall to his sides.

“I hate to say it, but I’m too old for this. How about retirement, huh?” Fowler raised an eyebrow with a smirk.

“Twelve more years, Hank.” Tilting his head back, the younger of the two groaned long and hard.

“Oh, I know, poor baby,” Jeffrey mused, returning his attention to his paperwork.

“Go entertain yourself. Take an early lunch, hell, it’s been a slow day anyway.” All Hank’s exaggerated self-deprecation left him in one fell swoop as he looked sincerely surprised.

“Gavin doin’ so good you’re in a generous mood, huh?” Fowler paused, then huffed, but couldn’t help the smile.

“Half my load is off my shoulders. I might take my wife to dinner tonight.” Brows raised, Hank gave him another long stare, then accepted the offer before Fowler changed his mind.

“There’s a wine tasting on friday. Not your thing, I know, but it’s at the brewery.” Turning his head, Hank looked at him quizzically.

“Wanna come? I’ll buy you a few.” Hank chortled.

“Jesus. Okay. You gonna smile at me like that the whole time?”

“No way,” he said swiftly.

“Then you’d get used to it. I can’t have that.”

-

“I would like a pay raise. Seventeen cents is a fair increase, considering I haven’t had one in the past two years.” Gavin knew he slipped with the last bit of snark, but it kept Fowler’s attention, and that was all that mattered.

“Oh, you want a reward for your good deeds?” Jeffrey shook his head.

“I’ll see about it at the next board meeting. Bring your best outfit,” he said pointedly, acknowledging the fact Gavin stood next to him in a crisp white button-up, bronze tie and a pair of jeans that looked new.

“And leave the android at home, you know the rules.”

“Yes sir.” Turning away, Gavin was gone in a flash without so much as a dismayed glare.

-

“Connor.” The android turned on his heel as he heard his name, straightening his posture attentively.

“Yes, Detective?”

Inclining his head, Gavin held out his hand.

Connor stared at it.

“Goddammit, don’t make me spell it out for you,” he muttered before immediately catching himself and straightening out, lifting his head once he remembered to keep his posture upright.

“Er. Sorry.“ Connor blinked, confused, but unwavering.

"Truce.” The android’s eyebrows shifted with an unidentifiable expression in response.

“Pardon?”

“I’ve been ordered not to interfere with personnel or cases that aren’t my own. I won’t be carrying my pistol during office hours anymore.” Connor looked surprised, then confused, then grateful, pausing in place before stiffly reaching forward to take his hand with a firm grip and two shakes.

“I appreciate that,” Connor responded gingerly. The part of him that told himself androids can’t appreciate was immediately silenced; clearly, they could do much more than he’d ever given them credit for.

“Have a good rest of the day, Reed.”

“You too.”

-

“Welcome home, detective.”

The creeping tingle crawled up his spine as he saw the android waiting as soon as he’d opened the door again, rubbing his eyes and blinking a few times to make sure it was real.

Of course it was.

“We are going to open another chapter tonight, but I acknowledge that it is the hour of which you usually have coffee, so I will allow you that freedom first.” Gavin stared, jaw dropped with his mouth agape, but as was coming to be routine, he remained verbally unresponsive. RK900 seemed content he was learning to shut up, eyes following his every move as he sleepily shuffled to the kitchen, already feeling the kick in his ass from cutting down the caffeine. Against his will, of course.

Wasting no time, he poured the grounds into the basket and the water into the basin, slamming it shut with more strength than he’d intended to use as he turned on the coffeemaker. Listening to it gurgle, he could feel the android hovering nearby, disgusted at the fact he was made to feel uncomfortable in his own home. Once the coffee was finished, he poured it into a cup, pouring in a gracious amount of sugar and milk before turning to go sit on his couch, only to be stopped in place as he was startled to see the android standing right in front of him. Silently, he nodded towards the couch in gesture for the android to move.

“Gavin.” He lifted his brows, staring at it under heavy eyelids as he wasn’t sure what it was looking for.

“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten already.”

“Forgotten what?” He couldn’t help the snark in his voice, but a quick pinch in his side reminded him; this time, it was entirely imagined, muscle memory from their interactions before.

“Ignoring the oxymoron in that phrase, I don’t think I have to tell you twice.” Gavin bit his lip, eyes shifting to the side as he internally contemplated exactly how badly he wanted to go sit on his couch after all. After a few seconds of standing, he decided to omit the request, vision veering back to the android as he took a sip of his coffee.

“What did you wanna talk about, Nines?” Using its nickname as a friendly moniker was a bit strange now that he was in an entirely different situation, deciding he might simply stop using it entirely.

“Do you know why you call me sir?” Gavin dreaded the question he couldn’t even guess a response to.

“You see androids as beings incapable of sentience or emotion. Humanity, as seems to be the buzzword these days. In all technicality, I am but a sexless device constructed of hardware and programming that emulates similar sensations to what you experience. Can it be as exact as biological processing? No. Does that mean humans have an easy time keeping up with the difference as their nature ironically causes them to empathize to inanimate objects to the degree they think of it the same? Definitely not.” It didn’t expect Gavin to follow what it said word-for-word, but the point was put across well enough.

“I don’t care for linguistic pronouns. He, she, it, they… that does not matter. But as I was built to take on a culturally masculine appearance, I will step into the position as I am seen to be, and you will do the same in respecting me as that.” It cast a leering glare down at Gavin, an easy behavior as their heights were a decent foot apart.

“Do you know what that means, Gavin?” Gavin looked exhausted.

“That means no more household appliance nicknames or other various inanimate object references. You will see me as a person, and a greater person than you.”

Gavin felt himself stiffen in place, a reaction that was now occurring more often than he was comfortable with. The desire to call the android out bubbled to his tongue, but never left his mouth.

“Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good.” This had become relatively easier than it originally anticipated. A few days made a world of difference, it seemed, and continued to pave the path for improvement. Soon enough, Gavin could be an attentive, fully-functioning, well-mannered human – and throw the rest of the world for a loop, as he’d already proven to commence.

“Can I get into my pajamas?” Weird question, and he tried not to show the embarrassment he felt from asking, nearly forgetting how fresh it was.

“No.” Gavin blinked, looking baffled, scoffing and holding back a sarcastic laugh. The RK900 smiled, and he sneered.

“The f—” clearing his throat, he readjusted his posture, almost subconsciously with the reminder to keep his language more precise.

“…Why not?”

“I would prefer you to sleep in boxers. I suppose sweatpants if you’re cold.” The familiar humiliation tinged his cheeks as he swallowed down half the cup of his coffee. Shirtless tied to a chair, sleeping in less than he’d worn in his usual routine…what next, it’ll follow him into the shower? Considering the possibility was more than enough to deter him.

“Why?”

“What did I tell you about asking questions?” Pursing his lips, he finished his coffee, closing his eyes again.

“Fine. Let me shower and get undressed.” He hadn’t thought twice, but his subconscious lead him to wince, before he found himself surprised not to get some kind of pain response. He certainly hadn’t done right by the android, so what gives?

“Alright,” it said complacently, confusing him further; but as he was asked, he didn’t inquire about it. The android stepped aside, and after finishing the cup, Gavin tentatively stepped forward to walk past it.

[odderancyart]

A Few Days of Late Autumn

Happy Birthday, @kyuko-chan!!!

Here’s some Blackcherry High School AU!

...

26 October

We got a new classmate today. The entire school buzzed with the news this morning as gossip spread through the hallways. According to them, he had been expelled from the Royal Academy, which obviously means he must be rich as fuck: the Royal Academy is only for the absolute elite, after all. The children of politicians, CEOs, nobility.

Early this morning, while the sun still was low on the sky, I sat in my chair in the classroom – clad in high-heeled black boots, which I had polished until they basically shimmered in the light from the lamps, black and white striped jeans, and my hot pink turtleneck – with my feet thrown up on the table while Slim slept in his seat next to Blue (the idiot needs to go to bed earlier, for fuck’s sake, it’s not strange he’s always exhausted), and Jennifer was yelling about the latest episode of her favourite show, or whatever. Wow holy hell that’s one long sentence, huh? Anyway, that’s when we heard the doorknob turn. I threw my legs of the table, sitting properly, just in time before Ms. Toriel (our principal) stepped inside. I could see Blue elbow Slim awake in the corner of my eye.

Following Ms. Toriel, who as always wore a perfectly neat suit and, as always, was sneering – was the new kid. As I first saw him, I froze. I might’ve forgotten to breathe too? Not sure. He has a jagged scar running down over his eye socket, a bit like mine but less clean. A gold tooth, which gleamed in the sunlight coming in through the window. And he certainly knows how to dress: biker boots, torn jeans, and a black shirt with the Anarchy-symbol in red. Which, admittedly, is kind of weird from a member of the uppermost class, but whatever.

The most noticeable thing, however, was the fact that he had a cocky smirk on his face. I’ve never seen anyone look cocky in Ms. Toriel’s presence: she is fucking terrifying.

And yes, I admit. He’s fucking hot.

Seems like an asshole though, and a different kind than me. He leaned against the desk, despite Ms. Toriel’s awful glares, as she introduced him. “This is Red Gaster,” she said, and her dislike was very obviously in her voice. He didn’t seem bothered, though. Whispers filled the classroom – everyone knows the name Gaster. Is he related to Dr Gaster? The King’s advisor? He must be, mustn’t he? How many Gaster families can there be? “He will be joining your class from now on. Mr. Gaster, is there anything you’d like to tell your new classmates?”

“Hiya,” he told us, saluting lazily. His grin widened. “Nice to meetcha.”

His accent is… offensive. That’s all I can fucking say. That’s our accent, and it’s easy to hear it’s been trained in; and I can literally only think of one reason someone from his class would want to speak like us. I’ve heard what people say about it, after all. Heard how people judge those who speak like that. There’s a reason I’m training mine away. I highly doubt I will get anywhere in life while speaking like a ‘gutter rat’. But he can afford the luxury to sound like that for his own amusement, I suppose. If he’s a part of the Gasters, he can do whatever the fuck he wants and face zero consequences. Everyone would hire a Gaster, or let one into their university.

Fucking unfair. Bet I’m smarter than him.

Probably stronger too, even if he has big bones.

Life is unfair. That’s a lesson we’re taught early around here. No one will give a damn about you when you’re poor and working class. We’ve only got ourselves.

Well. Then Ms. Toriel gestured for him to sit, which he did, in the only free seat. Which happened to be the one next to me. I had known he’d sit next to me, obviously, since I saw the added seat when I entered the classroom, but my soul still skipped a beat and I wasn’t sure what to do because fuck he’s hot but god he already makes me angry.

So I just nodded.

“Hello,” he said and made himself comfortable, and then our teacher entered and began the lesson.

Even though he made one or two attempts on talking with me I didn’t humour him: I don’t talk during class. Even if I was tempted, for some reason. If I did, I’d never learn anything, get detention, and get stuck in this shithole forever, and I have aspirations. Not a goddamn chance I’ll let some random, if good-looking, stranger stop me from reaching my dreams.

Later that day, as I was hanging out with Blue and Alphys at lunch – I still regret introducing them goddammit they won’t stop ganging up on me and they’re both committing treason – we saw Red hanging over the fence. He was talking with another skeleton in a fancy suit – the school uniform of the Royal Academy, I believe. Their suit was lazily put on, though, and their tie not even tied. Fucking hell that’s so ungrateful. And I heard him say, “Yeah I’ll take this school with storm, man. They won’t know what hit them.”

Which is bullshit. Watch this privileged asshole not surviving a week in a public high school. I am shocked he didn’t throw a fit when he saw the food.

 27 October

Alright… I admit, he’s fitting in surprisingly well. Still a fucking asshole, but perhaps our kind of asshole rather than the kind I expected from someone from the cream of society. He’s absolutely related to Dr Gaster, though, seeing how a tall skeleton who appears to be his brother – who is also handsome as fuck why that’s so unfair – in a fancy red cabriolet which carried Gaster Industries’ mark picked him up after school yesterday. And today he came on a fucking motorcycle. Because of course he has a motorcycle. Of course he drives motorcycles.

It’s beautiful. Sleek and black with red details. A Ducati. Oh my stars I- Oh fuck it yeah I am jealous as hell it’s absolutely gorgeous and I’ve been dreaming about driving one like it for years. One day, Razz. One day. I technically don’t even have my license yet, even though I can drive: I had a neighbour teach me, but we can’t afford the license for now. Once I get a job, that’ll be the first thing I save up to buy. And then, I will get a beauty of my own.

God I am squeezing my pen so hard right now. I want one so badly.

But back to Red: We sat together in class again, and we actually talked a little before class began. He seems to have learnt not to talk to me while class is going on already, that’s good. Today I was wearing a black and red rockabilly-dress, by the way, that I found in the thrift shop last weekend. It’s absolutely gorgeous. I think he noticed, I saw his gaze on it. That did feel nice. I do appreciate when people, even if they’re assholes, can recognize my beauty and sense of style.

Actually I think I like him a bit more now. Just a tad.

I did find out he doesn’t live at home. Imagine being able to move out at eighteen. I’d love to but well. Even if I could afford it, that’d end in catastrophe, because neither dad nor Slim knows how the fuck to care for themselves. When I came to visit they’d live in chaos and eat instant noodles for dinner every day. What would they do without me? How the fuck did we survive until I started taking charge, anyway? I mean dad can manage, obviously, but his standards are much too low.

So Red lives in an apartment just at the border between our side of town and the finer parts. Only two blocks away from another, richer, school district. And he has a brother, as I suspected, who is still at the Royal Academy and is planning on becoming a Police officer, and the dude I saw him talking to yesterday is his best friend and distant relative (second cousin thrice removed or something), Sans Gaster. And yes, he’s the fucking oldest son of Doctor Gaster, the country’s most prominent scientist and the King’s right-fucking-hand. What the fuck.

What the hell did he do to get expelled? Did he kill someone?

Anyway I have a History-essay to write, on the great monster-human war and how the Treaty was written.

 28 October

It’s Friday! Blue and I am going out on the new club down the corner, it looks awesome. Dad doesn’t want me to go, of course, he’s overprotective as always, but he knows by now that’s not going to stop me. It’s going to be great. Especially since I’ve already finished my homework for the weekend and so it doesn’t matter if we drink and stay up to six am and sleep until noon. Plus, I finally get a chance to wear my latest find: this short, black dress that’s all glittery. It’s fabulous, especially with a black leather jacket.

 29 October

I-

Last night-

Fuck.

I don’t even know how to write this down.

I’ll take it from the beginning.

So Blue and I went to the new club, and we looked fantastic. He had torn jeans and a tank top in dark gold with a leather jacket over, and I had my dress. The music from the nightclub was loud already before we came there, we could hear it down the streets. (I don’t imagine the residents were too happy but whatever.) After showing ID, we were soon allowed inside, luckily there was no queue.

And the inside was every bit as cool as we’d hoped. Flashing lights in rainbow colours, a dancefloor, a fucking smoke machine. The bar was crowded and served the most amazing drinks and it was so much fun. We danced for hours and probably drank a little too much, but we’re eighteen and it’s weekend so it was whatever. I haven’t had so much fun in weeks, and Blue chatted up this pretty girl inside. Not sure if he likes her or if it was just him being tipsy. Blue does become a flirt when he’s drunk he’ll even flirt with me. It’s hilarious. I mean he’s smooth as fuck, not denying that, but anyone would think it’s funny when your best friend-since-childhood is drunken-flirting with you and asking you stuff like “Are you a SAT? ‘Cause I’d do you for three hours and forty five minutes- with a ten minute snack break in the middle.”

Like I said, hilarious. I love drunk Blue.

But when we were going home. It was four am. And I don’t remember all of it, but I know what happened, more or less. We were tired, and giggly, and more than a little drunk. Being drunk doesn’t take away a lifetime of being on your guard, at least not for me, but it does take away my reflexes. Stupid. Why did I ever expect to be safe? Pure idiocy.

And suddenly we were surrounded. I can see them before my eyes. There were at least five of them, they were huge like mountains. And their eyes- So cold, so cruel. So greedy. I’m shivering at the memory of how their eyes racked over our bodies, like we were objects. I felt like someone had doused me in ice water and nausea rose that had nothing to do with me being drunk. It was terrifying. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I can fight, but again I was drunk and they were many, and bigger.

“Well, well,” one of them murmured, leaning toward me. I felt his breath on my face, gross and foul-smelling. They’d cornered us, and he put his arm next to the wall, and I threw out with my arm over Blue. He’s not innocent or weak in any way but he hasn’t been through the shit I have. So I feel like I should protect him, even if he hates it. “What do we have here?”

“Leave us alone,” Blue said, defiant as always. I could hear his voice tremble, though, and I think they did too because they laughed. Laughed.

Fury spiked through me and it only grew as another one added, “What’s two little sweethearts such as yourselves doing out here all alone, in the middle of the night? Lookin’ for some action?”

I punched the one in front of me. Straight in the face. And as he staggered backwards in shock, as the others processed, I grabbed Blue and ran. I can still feel the adrenaline pumping through me and my soul pounding in terror as we ran as fast as we could through the streets, hear the fast clicking of our shoes against the pavement. My mouth was dry as sand and I wasn’t even looking where I was going because I saw them follow us, yelling angrily. They were furious. Who knows what they’d do to us if they caught up?

We turned around the corner, and Blue was just a step before me now because he’s the fastest runner, and we ran straight into something soft on the other side. I froze, my breath catching in my throat as I forgot how to breathe, before I recognized the faces. Red. Red and his friend, Sans.

They stared at us for a moment before they heard the shouts, and I didn’t even know what to do so I grabbed Red’s wrist and pulled, yelling at him that we had to get out of here they were going to- I didn’t finish the sentence. I was afraid of what they were going to do when I couldn’t even access my magic because of the intoxication.

I’ve never seen anyone look so similar to dad as Red did in that moment. The absolute fury on his face, and he moved my hand to Sans, and Sans grabbed Blue. They only nodded at each other and then Sans pulled us into an alley nearby.

I remember screaming.

We were worried about Red, Blue and I – who wouldn’t be, apparently he was about to take on five men at once. But Sans, after introducing himself with a short “The name’s Sans,” told us to worry about our followers instead and I really didn’t give a flying fuck about them. My heart was still pounding so hard I wondered if it was trying to escape my chest as I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds.

Then, a Police siren came from the distance, and Red appeared in the entrance of the alley. “Oh fuck. Time ta leave.”

He and Sans brought us to Red’s apartment, which wasn’t too far away. They picked out some warm blankets for us and sat us down in the sofa. Red made hot chocolate for us both but I couldn’t finish it before I fell asleep. On Red’s shoulder. The next morning Blue and I woke up in Red’s bed, with the world’s biggest hangovers, and my soul was in my throat as I realized where we were, but I didn’t need to worry. He and Sans had both slept on air mattresses on the floor. That’s… surprisingly considerate, isn’t it?

They made us breakfast and ginger tea against the hangover, and Red told us what had happened last night, how he’d beaten up those creeps. He’s battle-trained, says his father made both him and his brother learn how to fight remorselessly. Which… okay yeah that’s attractive.

Now when we finally felt safe again, I listened and honestly? I can’t deny that he’s… nice. I… yeah. He’s nice. But that doesn’t at all explain why I constantly felt the urge to reach out and touch him when we were eating breakfast, or why I blushed as he complimented my dress. I’m confused and it’s annoying. The weirdest thing is that, when he patted my shoulder when Blue and I were going home, I didn’t want him to let go, and felt intensely aware of his handsomeness.

 1 November

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Yeah.

I spoke with Blue about it and he says I have a crush.

Dammit.

3 November

I have so much to write.

The past two days have been a rollercoaster and I’m all giddy right now. Slim actually checked in on me to see I’m alright because I was giggling to much. So yeah I absolutely had a crush on Red. And when we went back to school this Monday it felt kind of awkward and my soul did flips when he asked if I was okay. It might’ve been a little hard to speak to him too without stumbling over my words but I’m not confirming anything.

But he hung out with us all day, and he’s so fucking charming? I’m still thinking whether I should mention his accent or not, but god. He has these super dark jokes, and they’re the funniest thing, and I also found out he lets giggly. So I hung out with him after school and we went to the Starbucks on the corner and drank coffee, and he also tipped the barista really well. And we have so much in common? He was very happy to tell me about his motorcycle and we talked about astronomy and it just… worked.

It was kind of sad when I had to go home. But then- then.

He asked me out on a date.

And I gaped and could hardly answer him for a few moments, and he looked so adorably anxious as he smiled at me, and then I just threw myself around his neck and said yes, of course.

So after school today he brought me out on his motorcycle outside of town and it was amazing. I sat behind him on it, holding around his waist, as the landscape flashed by and the motor purred so wonderfully, and he was really warm in the chill of late autumn. We stopped at a biker bar far out on the countryside, where he seemed to know quite a lot of people. It was really nice, with an old jukebox and dim lights and, apparently, rivalling biker gangs who weren’t allowed to fight in there or they’d be forbidden to come back.

Red bought us soda and pommes and burgers, and we just sat there and talked and ate, and somehow, we began holding hands. I can still feel his fingers around mine. So warm and gentle. He smiled and told me, “You’re lovely.”

And then, on the way back, he let me drive a bit. And it was brilliant. His arms around me, and I couldn’t stop grinning as the motorcycle reacted to my smallest command. It was so… Oh, he leaned his head against my helmet and his ribcage against my back, my leather jacket, and we flew past nature on the empty highway, it was magical.

Unfortunately, the day ended much too soon, and he brought us back into town. And as he dropped me off, he hesitated, and he looked so handsome in the dim light of sunset in his biker jacket, and then he dismounted the bike, and slowly leaned in toward me until I could feel his warm breath on my face, and asked, “May I?”

I nodded, breathless, and he kissed me softly, embracing my waist. I grasped his face between my hands and held him, and I felt him smile into the kiss.

I couldn’t stop smiling as I stared after him as he jumped back on his bike and left, looking back before he disappeared around the corner. Then I went back in and told dad to shut up about my love life I’m legally an adult now and he can’t tell me what to do.

Oh stars I’m so happy I can feel my entire body tingling. I can’t wait for our next date.

[souridealist]

D&D Characters Discussed In My Tags, Part II

Campaign I Am Running: Also Pathfinder, set in a custom setting of my own design where the continent is ruled by families of hereditary sorcerers and social status is inherently tied up in one’s use of magic. It began at level one and is planned out through the early teens; they’re currently level five. The party were strangers to each other until they each received a letter: a mysterious elven wizard named Yindrella Mayarandel had recently died, and even though none of them had ever yeard of her, they had inherited her estate. Since then they’ve been trying to deal with her very complicated legacy plus a few issues of their very own, and maybe figure out what the hell Yindrella had to do with any of them.

(The other group is a much more old-school D&D group; it’s half cis guys and I think I’m technically the newest player having picked up the game in 2012, though I’ve been playing more consistently than some of the others. This group, by contrast, is very much from the Big Queer D&D Boom of the late 2010s, and most of them are My Newbies Who I Taught. It has been frankly God damn fascinating to play with both groups and compare the two.) 

Bellis Briarthorn, halfling cleric of Erastil, Pathfinder’s god of farming and community. She’s a farm girl at heart, and had never really left her tiny hometown until the campaign began. She’s upbeat and friendly to everyone (and has an adorable Southern accent that I absolutely did not successfully imitate while playing her relatives), but she can be brutally ruthless when she’s angry. She also has a not-insignificant greedy streak, which cracked the rest of the party up for months until they realized she was planning to send all the money home. The party had to save her hometown from several hags and a witch who bore a serious grudge because their foremothers had been driven away from town generations ago -- by Yindrella Mayarandel.

Lahi Sea-Hell, undine bard, played by @reyssamidalass. (In 5E she’d be a water genasi). Lahi is an unusually quiet, extremely nervous bard -- probably because she woke up the same morning the campaign began with not a single memory of a damn thing that happened to her beforehand. She has a unique gift for rolling ridiculously high for HP and then never getting hurt anyway. A recent brush with the criminal underworld led the party stumbling into the discovery that before the loss of her memories, she was a petty criminal by the name of Charming Blue, partners-in-crime (and possibly more) with a shy halfling thief by the name of Silent Black. Her amnesia stems from a curse placed on her by a man she robbed, who the party promptly hunted down and killed. 

(Even though he was seven levels higher than they were). (They perhaps skipped ahead several plot points.) (I’m a little bitter but honestly I’m mostly impressed.) 

Nikolai “Kolya” Valeska, also known as Nikolai Ryder, dhampir rogue played by @reijys. Kolya is the disappointingly nonmagical child of the reclusive Valeska noble line. Kolya does not discuss their family very much, and for those of you playing along at home, dhampir are half-vampires. (There is, of course, no way this will come up in the future.)

Kolya is uncomfortably casual about dealing out death but deeply shaken by any reminder of their friends’ mortality. They treat sleeping on the ground as mortal suffering, but a persistent Constitution-penalizing curse is a problem best endured in silence. They’re barely more than a teenager, with all the dramatics that implies, and they have the easily-affronted pride of a cat. Their attempts to act cool and detached are not fooling a single god damned soul. 

Dori Brissot, human gunslinger, actually can pull off cool and detached, though that should never be mistaken for uncaring; she’s clearly fond of the rest of the party. Dori is a practical soul and the closest thing this party has to a reasonable adult; she’s often referred to as the group’s big sister. Like Bellis, she had an actual job prior to the campaign’s beginning; she was a seagoing representative of a merchant firm. Through no fault of her own, she currently has a dangerous artifact from Yindrella’s vaults embedded in the flesh of their arm, causing her to destroy any plant life that she touches. The group is undertaking a pilgrimage to a druidic holy site in an attempt to get that problem resolved; as of last session, it’s brought them in contact with one of Dori’s old sailor friends -- who might (or might not) give the group a new perspective on their big sister. The druidic holy site, meanwhile, was the idea of...

Ardullay Vallirlyn, aasimar druid, played by @acecampbellsaunders. Though for nearly all mechanical purposes she is an aasimar, Ardullay was born to a family of drow, and most people take her for a drow until they notice the vestigial wings. (In this setting, the drow lost a war with the surface several centuries ago; one of several results is the existence of a scattered, semi-integrated population of surface drow.) Ardullay is a bright-eyed idealist who believes fiercely in everyone’s capacity to choose their own lives, which principle is how an angel-blooded drow joined a druidic order in the first God damn place. Ardullay is awkward, tends to the impulsive, maybe a little naive, and hasn’t actually said she had an isolated childhood, but she doesn’t need to -- it’s written on her forehead. And if Dori is the group’s common sense, Ardullay is probably its heart: she has enough heart for the whole world, and no one else takes kindly to seeing her hurt.

Ardullay is accompanied by a giant spike-tailed silver cat called Molly who does nothing but kill Ardullay’s enemies and cause problems. Molly and Ardullay, between them, are what this group has for a tank. 

And last and newest, picked up just last session, there is:

Amelerin, better known as Amy, elf wizard, played by @fleetingmadness. Amy is not one of Yindrella’s heirs; rather, she was Yindrella’s maid for several decades, and, being out of work at the time, decided to consider herself part of the group’s inheritance. (To the significant exhaustion of the barrister executing the will). They don’t know her very well yet, but she’s bubbly, faintly Cockney, and determined to be useful. She is accompanied by her familiar, a robin named Cobweb who does not like Molly very much.

This can, of course, only end well.

(Dori’s and Bellis’s players don’t have active tumblrs; they were not forgotten.)

[mollyjoycupcake]

9/3/2018

Things have been quite a ride since I last wrote here. 

I did manage to survive the spring semester, if that is what you are wondering. I had to drop calc and physics, and take a medical withdrawal for linear algebra, but I ended up passing intro to engineering, engineering success, computer science, and latin sol immersion. Although I did make it through the semester, I am afraid it was to my detriment. Forcing myself to go through that simply wasn’t worth the sacrifice of my mental health. I’m fairly certain that I walked away with some trauma, both from specific events but also as a general effect of the constant, drawn out stress. I never quite got used to the noise at the apartment (I found out why, which is what I’ll talk about later), and I never quite made any friends, with the exception of Taksha. Although I was somewhat proud to finish my classes, I was much too drained to really appreciate that I had made it. And, of course, any positive emotion I would have felt was taken away by the unexpected news that VR wouldn’t cover rent during the summer (which I wasn’t aware of, nor was prepared for). So, because I couldn’t come up with $1,000 in rent in two weeks, I went back to Santa Fe to stay with Shawn. 

Although our relationship had almost completely fallen apart over the spring semester, returning to Santa Fe was an attractive (and probably my only) option at the time. My parents had moved out of their house to a campsite in June, rendering themselves technically homeless. I was at a negative balance both emotionally and financially, so I figured a familiar and low-key place would do me good. To this day, I’m not certain if it was really the best choice, because these past few months have been incredibly difficult. But, I guess it makes no sense to dwell on it. Just need to find a solution and move on. 

In June, after we took a trip to Florida and Disney World, I started modeling by being a part of Santa Fe Fashion Week’s runway show. I simply sent the director a DM and he put me in the show. It was a great experience and I learned a lot. After that, in late June through July, I then began working in background for television shows in New Mexico. I was featured background as a “cheerleader” and “high school student” for the new netflix show Chambers, background for Midnight Texas, and background for Messiah. I also had a small acting role in Midnight Texas as a ghost witch. I think I may get IMDB credit for it.  In late July/early August I began a 4 week job as a stand in for the main actress in a movie for Netflix called Walk Ride Rodeo. I also appeared in the background in several scenes as a nurse, a patient, and rodeo-goer. The hours were long and hard and I struggled to get through it. It was 5 days a week, for about 14 hours a day. I made decent money, but the exhaustion and the lack of free time made it hard to be worth it. Once that movie was over, I moved on to some more modeling with the RD3 Elite fashion show, and then I attended two casting calls. On one casting call, I was hired on the spot to do photos for the covers of romance novels. I am still waiting to hear back on the other one, so cross your fingers. If I get it, I will be part of a traveling fashion show out of LA (and it’s paid). Although all these experiences would be exciting for anyone, I have a hard time even feeling anything due to my mental state. It’s frustrating because I would like to appreciate it, but I can’t seem to right now. 

Aside from those activities, my summer has been relatively uneventful. I have struggled to get through every day. It has been hard to process all the traumas from the spring semester. Things with Shawn have been rocky, which is both a cause and effect of my perpetuated mood issues. I finally decided to seek help during the last week of August, when I couldn’t stop crying all week. I think the long hours on the movie finally broke me down. I decided to go to the ER to be evaluated. They had me stay overnight and I spoke to a few counselors and psychiatrists. We agreed that a likely cause for my symptoms was the Nexplanon implant, so we made a plan to get it removed at the women’s clinic the following week. The doctor also got me in to see a reputable psychiatrist the next week, who formally diagnosed me with PTSD (as opposed to the typical depression/anxiety diagnosis I was given previously). I started two new medications that are supposed to address PTSD specifically, so I am hopeful that it will be effective. I also did get my Nexplanon removed, but because I was so anxious and the implant was very deep, I had to be given Xanax and Oxycodone to get through the procedure. I think seeing that finally seeing that bloody thing in the tweezers in the doctor’s hand was one of the most relieving moments of my life! It is still too soon to tell if the removal of the nexplanon plus the addition of the drugs has helped me very much (its been less than a week), but statistical information has me hopeful.  

The biggest thing on my plate right now (aside from healing from PTSD) is now deciding whether or not to return to ASU or become a resident of New Mexico. Both situations have ample pros and cons. At ASU I would be closer to my family, and I would have the climate that I want. I also have a nagging suspicion that if my symptoms get under control, a lot of personal growth could occur there (at least, in the way I want it to). Also, there is something to be said about the youthful and vibrant culture that surrounds Tempe. However, staying in New Mexico could be good as well. There are several schools to choose from that are all reputable and more affordable than ASU. It is also less populated and therefore more peaceful out here. I would also remain close to Shawn, which is good if we decide to remain together. New Mexico also has a lot of modeling and film industry, as well as two national labs, so if I want, I do have a successful double life as a STEM person as well as an entertainment person. Additionally, the medicare in New Mexico has much better coverage and includes dental and vision (which AZ medicare lacks), so if I get medicare here, I can get my broken tooth fixed, which could save me a few thousand dollars. As you can see, both options seem fairly attractive. There are many cons to each option, however. For ASU, they are kind of obvious: if I can’t get my symptoms under control, I will end up overwhelmed just like the spring semester. It is also very busy and chaotic, which may simply may not be the best for me, regardless of mental health. I would also be far away from Shawn, which would really strain the relationship, as well as my emotional state, and could end up forcing us to split. I would also need to know exactly which major to pursue in order to secure VR funding, and there is no guarantee that the funding will be enough to guarantee a comfortable existence, due to the rising costs and the lowering funds available from VR. As far as New Mexico goes, by staying here I would be far away from my family. Although my family does stress me out sometimes, I do like to be close to them so that we can be there for each other (especially now, as things are stressful for all of us). I am also not entirely sure if I like UNM  or Albuquerque yet. There is also the fact that if I get residency here (in order to get medicaid and such) I would lose my AZ residency and VR funding, which would make it very difficult to return to ASU if I change my mind. I am not quite sure if I am comfortable with cutting the AZ ties just yet. Another fear I have about staying in NM is, what if Shawn and I end up splitting anyway? It would be extremely difficult to live in the same town if we were no longer together. Just the thought of potentially seeing him with someone else tears me apart. 

In general, this is a very huge decision. I would be lying if I said I felt equipped to handle such a major life decision. I have a difficult enough time deciding what drink to order at Starbucks (even though I always get the same thing), so deciding where I want to live and study for the next two years is extremely overwhelming. I am very distressed by it. Part of me just wants to be a kid again so I don’t have to be burdened by all these thoughts. I am far too aware, and worried of, all the implications that come with each possible route. All of this, combined with the fact that I don’t have much money, makes things seem impossible. I can’t even pay rent right now, so how could I possibly decide where to settle in for school? Do I even want to go to school any more? Do I even have a choice? Maybe I should run away and travel the world. But without money? Maybe I should just drop out and work and make lots of money. But how? And with what mental health? I guess the only place I can start is by listing my basic needs, which would need to be fulfilled regardless of location, and then selecting location based on what would be best suited for my needs.

As far as I know my needs include: healthcare coverage, adequate mental health/psychiatric support, friends, access to high calibur dance training, proximity to family, proximity to shawn, access to further STEM exploration and employment, a low stress living environment, quiet home, either living alone or with good roommates, a degree program that is fun and not too stressful, opportunities in modeling and entertainment, a structured schedule that allows for creative expression and self care.  I would type more, but my brain fog is starting to set in (along with a headache). 

Hopefully I will be able to reach a decision soon. Perhaps I am struggling because I am attempting to intuit a decision instead of making hard, conscious choices for myself. I’ve always preferred going with my gut, because I am terrified of making a conscious decision that ends up going wrong. I would rather blame god than blame myself.