#(-emerges half dead wrapped in an giant blanket and just plops down-)

[godzexperiment]

the way he just doesn't use furniture properly/sit "normally" even when he is being rather tame vs just how much more obvious it becomes when he feels comfortable around somebody

upgrades from sat on the floor in an weird shape to -diagonally sits on the back of the sofa with his legs tucked underneath him-

also just sometimes opting to add his wings into the situation? -dangles off an bookcase upside down with his wings visible; curled up around him because why not-

[bcbdrums]

I finally get to get YOU this time!! *evil laughs* 56 & 34

I’m not sure how well I did answering the prompts, but I sure had fun writing it.  I really challenged myself not to do the cliché thing and go with something less familiar to me.  I imagine this fic occurring shortly before “Graduation.”

34. The feel of fingers brushing by accident. 

56. Someone accepting the bad parts of you without judging.

—

[As the Images Unwind]

“I want to watch my movie first,” Drakken said, watching with an anxious eye as Shego popped a VHS into the player.

“Nope. Mine first.”

“But Shego…”

“Nuh-uh. I go to karaoke with you, you watch movies with me. My rules,” she said firmly.

“But…we watched yours first last time!” he pleaded.

She walked back to the sofa and plopped down, using the remote controller to fast-forward through the previews. “And you fell asleep in thirty minutes! You always fall asleep, and we never even get to my movie. So, mine’s first.”

Drakken fidgeted with the edge of the blanket he had wrapped around his shoulders and looked down at his striped pajamas and fuzzy slippers. He did sort of plan to fall asleep on movie nights…

With a sigh he sat down and crossed his legs, wiggling around until he was perfectly cozy. Shego—wearing an oversized green t-shirt that fell off her shoulder and pink pajama pants—picked up the oversized bowl of popcorn from the coffee table and set it between them.

“It’s not another…scary one, is it?” he asked, looking at her anxiously.

She shot him a grin. “For an evil genius like you? Nah.”

Drakken blinked. His face slowly morphed into a scowl. “You’re mocking me, aren’t you.”

“Of course not. You’re gonna love this. It’s ready now, stop talking,” she said as she hit stop, and then play.

———

Drakken was gullible.

One of the major perks of her job was the freedom to torment her boss, and she took unending pleasure out of doing so.

For two week’s worth of movie nights, she had naturally chosen movies she was interested in. And all were full of explosions, action, and blood. Drakken cowered and whimpered the entire time if he even made it through them, and while she was annoyed, his continued belief when she lied and told him her movies wouldn’t be scary were worth it all.

She had started seriously taking advantage of this particular weakness of his after his kidnapping at Area 51. For four days she had him convinced that a mole on his back was actually an alien parasite, and only revealed her deception when in a panic he had been about to take a laser to it in a mirror.

He had been red-faced in embarrassment and anger while she rolled on the floor with laughter. His upset made it all the better, and she actively looked for more ways to get his blood pressure to rise.

———

“Aaahhhh!”

Drakken’s cry of fear sounded next to her ear only a moment before the hard, painful crash of his cheekbone against hers. Popcorn flew up in front of her eyes, hitting her face and lap on its way down as his arms wrapped so tightly around her she couldn’t breathe.

“You said it wasn’t scary!!” he shouted in terror, and she leaned away from the pain of the volume.

“Let go!” she choked out, gasping for breath the instant he moved. His blanket had fallen on her and she stood up, shaking popcorn off of it and out of her hair. “Look at this mess!!” she shouted back at him as he slunk back into a corner of the couch.

“You said it wasn’t scary,” he whimpered.

“Yeah, and you’re gullible,” she moaned, pausing the movie. “I’m going to make some more popcorn.”

She picked up the empty bowl, wasted popcorn crunching under her feet as she stomped away toward the kitchen. Drakken stared for a moment and then scurried after her.

“It’s my fault. I’ll do it,” he said.

———

Shego was capricious.

What shoes should she wear, what color should she paint her nails, should she go to Greece or Sicily on her next vacation… And why on earth was she asking him?

Drakken had put two popcorn bags in the microwave, like he had before the movies started. But thirty seconds into the cycle Shego started complaining.

“Make three bags, this movie’s long.”

Drakken was still shaking from his fright—so much blood—and ignored her as he made up a fresh batch of his butter sauce on the stove.

“Helloooo in there, Dr. D.? I said make three bags.”

“Maybe I’m not that hungry…” he grumbled.

“Yeah, well you have to help eat it so I can keep my waistline,” she said, reaching over his shoulder and stopping the microwave.

“I’m only making sauce for two bags,” he said with a frown, stirring in the minced garlic.

Shego had opened the microwave and was tossing in a third bag of popcorn alongside the two slightly puffed ones.

“Then make more,” she said, closing the microwave.

Drakken stopped stirring and turned to her. “You can’t start it over or the first two bags will burn. Take them out and do that one separately.”

Amazingly, she didn’t argue and made to follow his instructions. But upon touching the hot bags she drew her fingers back with a hiss.

“Eh. Two’s enough,” she said, pulling the unused bag out and continuing the microwave cycle.

Drakken rolled his eyes and went back to his sauce. He began softly humming as a tune came to his mind.

“Do we have stuff for milkshakes?”

“Why don’t you look?” he said, and continued his humming.

Shego opened both the fridge and freezer and began perusing the contents. “We’re out of strawberries…”

“Go figure.”

“Hmmm… I want…piña colada.”

The microwave beeped, and Drakken took out the hot steaming bags and began emptying them into the bowl. His butter sauce was perfect and would be ready to mix in in seconds. And then he fully registered what Shego was asking.

“If we stop to make milkshakes now, the popcorn won’t taste as good.”

“It’s too hot. I want something cold to go with it.”

Drakken pursed his lips, but decided it wasn’t worth the argument.

“All right. You mix the sauce into the popcorn. And only use a pinch of salt!”

“Sheesh. I won’t mess it up, Chef Ramsay.”

Drakken moved quickly, pulling out everything for a piña colada milkshake. He preferred blueberry himself, but he really wanted to taste the popcorn at its best and so would make the sacrifice on his milkshake flavor this time.

He started pouring the coconut milk into the blender when—

“Actually on second thought…I’m in a blueberry mood.”

Drakken clenched his teeth together tightly. He set the coconut milk down and looked over at the giant bowl of popcorn that Shego was lazily stirring with a wooden spoon. He reached over and grabbed a handful and shoved it in his mouth and began humming again as he chewed. The garlic ratio was perfect…

“Hey, what are you doing?”

He poured the coconut milk back into the can and ignored her. Wonderful would be the day when she could just make up her mind…

He ignored her as he got started on a double portion of blueberry shakes. At least he would enjoy that.

“What are you humming? It sounds familiar?”

Drakken smirked.

Shego picked up a single piece of popcorn and chewed on it slowly, waiting.

“It’s from an Italian opera. Rigoletto.”

“Have you sung this at karaoke?”

“No. It’s…too hard for me,” he admitted at the cadence.

Shego’s brow rose. “Oh. What’s it called?”

Drakken’s smirk grew. “La donna e mobile.”

She ate another piece of popcorn. “Uh, translation please? Why is this bowl only half-full…”

Drakken faced her, crossing his arms. “It means ‘the woman is fickle.’”

Shego’s eyes widened for a long moment before narrowing in fury.

“I know you don’t mean to imply that about me.”

Drakken clasped his hands under his chin and batted his eyes, mimicking her voice. “'Should I bring the green bathing suit or the green and black? Never mind, I don’t want a $5,000 vacation to Fiji after all even though the airline tickets are non-refundable.’”

He barely had time to react as she shoved the bowl of popcorn in his face, throwing his hands up just in time. He clutched it close to him and bent forward, saving most of the freshly dressed snack as she stalked away.

“Do you still want blueberry?” he called after her.

He cringed at the curses she shouted back at him.

———

Drakken was immature.

He was as bad as her brothers, every one of them. His only redeeming quality was that he was evil.

Well, that and he actually listened to her when he was about to do something stupid. Most of the time. And he took actual security measures in their lairs.

But his hissy-fits and dramatic meltdowns would be enough to drive her over the edge, if she didn’t have a luxurious salary and a contractual license to mock.

Drakken came in a few minutes later with the popcorn bowl under his arm and milkshakes in hand. She didn’t wait for him to sit before pressing play on the movie again, leaning from left to right as he carefully picked his way through the spilled popcorn in front of her.

“Just step on it,” she said.

“Only if you clean it up tomorrow.”

She crossed her arms and focused on the movie, ignoring the blue man to her right who was again cowering.

Onscreen the hero had just gunned down multiple terrorists in blood-spattering furor whilst performing several acrobatic stunts that looked challenging even for her. The hero—a very well-muscled actor—then kicked down the door where the foreign diplomat was held hostage only find that he was too late. The terrorists had sliced the man’s throat and disemboweled him, leaving his dead body chained to a pole and the bloody evidence on the floor around him in a five-foot radius.

Shego grinned and shoved a handful of popcorn in her mouth. Now this was entertainment.

“Shego!”

She turned to see Drakken hiding under his blanket, only one eye peeking out through a small hole he had created.

“Can we…please watch my movie first?” he asked, his voice shaking.

She frowned. “This isn’t as fun without someone to analyze the strategies with.”

“I know, and…I want to. But please… I promise I’ll stay awake.”

He had started to emerge from his blanket-nest, and she took in his wide eyes, tense shoulders, and trembling lower-lip.

“Are you actually afraid of this?”

He pulled the blanket over his shoulders again. “They…mutilated him,” he said with childlike horror.

Shego closed her eyes in annoyance. “Oy. Fine. We’ll watch yours first.”

Drakken leapt out of his nest and hurried over to the VCR, his face brightening instantly. Shego shook her head and sipped at her milkshake—oh, was it delicious!

How a man his age who committed so much violence himself could be afraid of a little fake gore was beyond her. But he was immature in everything.

“You know Doc, one of these days you’re going to have to grow up.”

He stuck his tongue out at her over his shoulder.

“Excuse me if I prefer my movies more light-hearted.”

Shego looked at the video jacket he tossed aside. The picture was of a couple embracing.

“Oh no, if this is some sappy romance I’m going to bed.”

“It’s a heist movie, Shego. You’ll like it. The romance is just a subplot.”

Shego sat forward and crossed her legs on the sofa. “What’s with you and the romances anyway? It’s not like you ever go in for that stuff in real life.”

Drakken crossed his arms and held his chin up as he returned to the sofa. “I had something special with DNAmy, if you recall.”

“Pshyeah, for like a day. And you cried like a baby when she dumped you and you…you didn’t even really like her! You were only interested in her lair.”

“I did so!” Drakken frowned. “And she liked me too. She saved me from her lizard beast, risking her life for me. Something you failed to do, and you get paid for it.”

“What are you talking about? I save you all the time.”

“Not from that monster. You bailed out of the hover car and left me to crash!”

“Can’t come back to save you if I’m dead. Besides, it was wayyy more fun watching you whine while Amy talked about her actual boyfriend. I mean, you totally fell for her stupid smiles and fake flattery and… Oh man, she played you so hard!”

Drakken’s smugness melted away entirely, and he burrowed into his blanket again and sipped from his milkshake. Shego’s belittling continued until she was laughing, and finally he exploded.

“A real friend wouldn’t make fun of my romantic misadventures, Shego!”

“That wasn’t a romance. It was a schoolyard crush!”

Drakken huddled away from her in the corner of the sofa and pressed play on the remote.

“Shut up.”

“Big baby.”

The movie thankfully opened with an immediate jump into action, an elaborately plotted theft of priceless jewels setting up the main character and his motivations. It silenced Shego for several minutes, but it wasn’t long before the love interest was introduced and she was back to complaining.

“This is boring.”

“It’s a romantic subplot,” Drakken said, eating a few pieces of popcorn.

“It’s the whole plot. The heist is just the thing they have in common!”

“Well it’s your fault for lying to me about your movie not being scary.”

———

Shego was dishonest.

It wasn’t just the movies, which come to think of it, had been scary every week… But it was anything and everything as it suited her whims, as long is it gave her what she wanted.

It had started small, when she told him that no, his new lab coat didn’t make him look fat. But then after Dementor made fun of him at the next HenchCo convention and he questioned her again, she merely smiled and shrugged. As if his reputation meant nothing!

The worst was when she had claimed to be on vacation but instead was giving Senor Senior Junior lessons in villainy. He had been furious. She was using his money to aid other villains, helping them to be successful when she should have been helping him.

He gave her a sidelong glance as he shoved more popcorn in his mouth. She was frowning at the movie.

He was beginning to wonder if she actually thought he was evil. She said he was whenever he asked, but she never said it convincingly…

“Um. Shego?”

“This movie is stupid,” she burst out suddenly.

He blinked. “I picked it for—”

“You’re just gonna fall asleep. I’m switching back to my movie.”

“No!” he shouted, clutching the remote to his chest and frowning deeply.

She raised an agitated brow at him.

His ire had been raised by the thought that she may not think him evil, and that she had been laughing at his ‘immaturity’ as she called it. He didn’t consider being in touch with one’s feelings immature.

“My movie!” he insisted.

She stared him down for several seconds before giving up in a grunt of disgust and slumping on the sofa. Drakken sighed in relief and continued eating popcorn, with his oh-so-delicious butter recipe.

———

Drakken was stubborn.

And it was so much more than movie night, and karaoke night, and bowling night. He insisted on plots to take over the world that had been proven to fail in the past.

The brainwashing shampoo was one of them. He still had the entire back-stock of it taking up half of a storage room, ‘just in case’ he said every time she brought it up. The memory of their other failings with mind control made her shudder. She hated mind control.

But the worst were the killer robots. Robots had been his Achilles heel since before he was evil, and he was still coming up with new schemes for them. After the Smarty Mart stockbots failure she was sure he had a screw loose.

Shego realized she was tensing up and began taking slow, deep breaths. He wasn’t worth getting this worked up over. But everything was getting on her nerves after his crack about her being indecisive.

Whenever she got this worked up over his idiotic ideas she would usually up and leave for a vacation. But she had already used up all of her time for that month, and didn’t want to dip into next month just yet.

Onscreen, the main characters were in their second ‘witty flirting’ phase of the relationship. It was completely shallow, and she wanted to gag.

“Yeah…I’m done with this. I’ve seen exactly five minutes of criminal activity and twenty-five minutes of romance.”

“Shego, I promise it’s a heist movie. They’re just establishing all of the characters.”

She leaned over the popcorn bowl and grabbed for the remote, but he dodged her and stuck his tongue out at her, holding it high above his head.

“You lied about the scary movie. We’re watching mine first!”

She lunged again and the popcorn bowl slid down his blanket like a slide and under the coffee table. He rose up on his knees and held the remote farther away.

“I’m not sitting through another an hour and a half of this. Give it here!”

“No!”

She tackled him against the arm of the sofa and reached for the remote a third time. His back cracked as her full weight fell on his chest and he huffed as the wind was knocked out of him, but he still didn’t yield.

Nose to nose, they exchanged furious glares for several seconds before she slowly backed off of him and smirked. He only had a moment to look worried before she shot a small green blast into his stomach. He yelped in pain and the remote went flying as he grabbed at the stinging wound, and she caught it deftly.

“Finally,” she said, switching the cassettes back with a satisfied smile.

Drakken frowned deeply at her back as he rubbed his injured belly with one hand and pulled his blanket up with the other. He was in for a painful night.

———

Shego was cruel.

Drakken had long since gotten used to the pain of her glow, but he was still taken by surprise each time she used it against him. For everything he did for her, she seemed worse than ungrateful. She seemed to relish in using him and then making him suffer in the knowledge of it.

For years he’d chalked it up to her villainous personality. They were evil, after all. But they were supposed to take over the world together, and her behavior was sometimes…counterproductive.

He’d realized that not even their contract mattered to her when she’d left him in prison twice. She was more than willing to join other villains if it satisfied her drive for mayhem, and she was even willing to prevent him from certain victory. And more than that, she made fun of him while doing so.

Peace officers and vigilante teenagers may thwart his plans, but that was nothing compared to Shego’s many betrayals, always issued with a smirk.

And yet…here he was, insisting she join him for movie night.

Screams of agony and the retort of machine guns sounded from the TV speakers, but he didn’t watch. He curled up in the corner and closed his eyes, sleep the only possible escape.

“'Fraidy cat,” he heard, as he drifted off.

———

When Drakken next opened his eyes his attention was arrested by soft jazz music. He peered out from behind his blanket and saw Shego was exactly where she’d been when he willed himself asleep to hide from her movie, but now she was watching his movie. The popcorn bowl was back on the couch, and nearly empty as she lazily scooped a handful out.

He slowly straightened up, wiping the sleep from his eyes, and she gave him a brief glance.

“Thought you didn’t like romantic movies,” he said hoarsely.

“Shut up. I’m tired,” she said quietly.

Drakken settled down and focused his attention on the moving picture in front of him. His eyes slowly widened as he absorbed the present action and felt a blush rapidly creeping up his cheeks. The so-called romantic subplot was still in the lead and the main characters had arrived at…third base? Home run?

He considered asking Shego for the correct slang, but was far too embarrassed, digging his fingers into the scant remains of the popcorn instead. He would wake up to an actor’s naked butt under a soft-filter moving very suggestively and miss all the real good parts of his movie.

He reached idly for the popcorn again, mostly burned kernels now, and felt around for some something of more substance. His search stopped suddenly when he felt the delicate brush of small fingertips against his, and he froze.

He glanced at where his and Shego’s hands met briefly before looking up and meeting her eyes. Inexplicably, heat rose around his pajama collar and he pulled away in a hurry, wiping his fingers against his flannel.

Shego smirked. “What’s the matter Doc? Too much action for you?”

An ill-timed moan from the actress onscreen made him blush further and he stared away into the dark corner of the room.

“Your fingers are greasy from the butter,” he argued. “How did you eat that much popcorn anyway?”

“I told you to make three bags,” she said, and he saw her shrug out of the corner of his eye.

A sudden strange licking sound forced his eyes back to the screen in curiosity, but the movie wasn’t the source. He turned to see Shego licking the remnants of butter and garlic from her fingers in a way that…something told him was far too slow and deliberate.

“Hnghh… Can you not do that while…while that’s going on?” he snapped, gesturing at the screen.

She froze at his outburst, the tip of her middle finger still touching her puckered lips. She looked confused for a moment, and then her face flushed in anger.

“You creep!” she said, shoving him roughly off the sofa. His tailbone hit the ground hard and he rubbed it as he cowered under her verbal abuse. “At least I don’t wipe my greasy fingers on my pajamas! Ugh, you can be so gross.”

He climbed wordlessly back onto the sofa, wondering why he had let himself get so distracted. The movie action had shifted—thankfully back to the main plot—and he curled his knees to his chest and forced himself to focus.

He wished he hadn’t been asleep for so much of it, seeing how when it did spend time on the crimes it was in great detail, and he could have been taking notes for potential future plots. The movie was more than half over now, and as it went on he failed to understand Shego’s complaint. Yes the romance was prominent, but the villain was wooing the woman over to the wrong side of the law. Surely that was a redeeming quality?

“This is so fake,” she said suddenly.

Apparently not.

“Those two would never last in real life. How two people can be so attracted together when they have so many flaws is ridiculous.”

Drakken leaned his head back and glanced at her. “What do you mean?”

“He doesn’t care how much money he wastes, he keeps secrets from her, and he’s not really in it for evil. He’s just bored. And she has an anger problem, she has no trust, and she’d clearly cheat on him if she thought he was cheating on her.”

Drakken hadn’t been paying attention to any of those things and considered them. Yes…okay, she had points. But the fictional couple were clearly in love. Surely they could get past those things?

“People with so many flaws like that will never stay together,” she concluded, crossing her arms and leaning back to mirror his tired pose.

“We stick together,” he said quietly. His eyes suddenly widened. Where had that come from?

He turned his head to find her watching him, apparently analyzing his statement.

“Yeah, but we’re not a couple, Doofus.”

He sat up again, crossing his legs under him. “One could say…we’re better than a couple. Because we don’t have any…ulterior motives keeping us together.”

Shego sat up and turned to face him, likewise crossing her legs. She looked curious now.

“After all. No sane man would maintain a woman as changeable and deceitful and heartless as you,” he said, tossing a few pieces of popcorn into his mouth.

He looked back at her and his eyes widened. That had been the wrong thing to say.

“I’m…what?” she hissed.

“You’re…well…well you’re mean, Shego!” he said, going all-in.

“Puh. And you think you’re some kind of saint, here? Well I’ve got news for you, Dr. D.” She rose up on her knees to glare down at him, hands on her hips. “You’re the biggest sucker that ever walked the earth, and you’re bullheaded and childish. You’re nothing but an overgrown two-year old! You’re lucky I stick with you!”

He held his metaphorical ground against her and met her gaze full-on.

“Why?”

“…What?”

He frowned. “Why don’t you just leave like you’re always threatening to? If I’m such a…pathetic loser, if my personality doesn’t jive with your image, why are you here?”

He regretted the words as they flew out of his mouth, but for some reason he couldn’t stop himself. And he realized when he finished and they were left staring at each other it was because…he really wanted an answer. He knew he wasn’t perfect. He knew he should have a stronger constitution at the sight of blood and that he was far too trusting and that his drive to succeed sometimes bordered on insanity, but…he couldn’t change all at once!

Second passed, and he couldn’t read Shego’s expression.

“Well?” he probed, his heart pounding in fear. Certainly this night would end with him having driven her off once and for all. He was surprised then when she turned the question around on him.

“Why don’t you fire me then, if I’m too evil for your taste?”

He blinked twice and sat back against the sofa again, feeling heat under his collar again. He actually knew this one.

He kept her around because, really…he didn’t care. No matter how much she manipulated and belittled him or wasted his time and money or even blasted him with her green glow, he was…happier with her than without her. The brief severance of their contract after the ‘Warmonga incident’ had shown him that in painful clarity.

He swallowed nervously. “I…I guess it doesn’t…really bother me.”

She sat back on her heels and shook her head at him. “Then why are you making such a big deal out of it?”

He frowned at her. “You’re the one making a big deal. If I’m…such a baby, why don’t you quit?”

In a very rare occurrence, he found himself winning their battle of wills as the tension began to fall out of her shoulders. She didn’t say anything, but continued to look at him as her anger faded into a mix of perplexity and entreating.

She seemed to want him to understand something, but from the look on her face it seemed she didn’t understand it herself. And then his expression opened up as revelation suddenly struck.

For all of her insults and complaints against him…could it be that his weaknesses didn’t really bother her, either?

She apparently arrived at the same conclusion as she bit her lip and turned away, a faint blush on her cheeks. He felt a strange and unfamiliar warmth blooming in his chest as he stared at her, her eyes fixed on the TV again.

“Agh, we’re missing the last heist!” she complained.

He looked at the run time on the VCR and saw that there were only five minutes left in the movie. He settled down and watched as the criminal pulled off an impossible feat, somehow escaping with a rare jewel that had been inside a sealed room, and one that his love interest had made known she wanted.

“I knew it was just about the romance,” Shego complained as the screen showed the woman running after the man, apparently ready to abandon her life for his.

“I like happy endings…” he grumbled, still not quite sure where their oddly halted fight left them.

He felt around in the popcorn bowl again for something more than kernels. He finally arrived at one large perfectly popped piece and was about to take it, when Shego found it too. He looked up at her as they were in the same situation again, her fingertips feather-light against his and the contact sending cool tingles up his wrist.

He didn’t yank his hand away this time when their eyes met, and he found her expression unreadable. He didn’t like it. Why was she looking at him like that? What did it mean?

Then without warning, she leaned closer to him and fluttered her eyelashes, lowering her voice to a sultry tone.

“Come here often?” she teased.

He whirled away with a frown, his face growing hot yet again. What was wrong with her? What was wrong with him?

“I’m going to bed,” he said, gathering up his blanket and stomping away to his room, missing the final passionate embrace of the couple onscreen.

Shego rolled her eyes and turned back to the TV, dropping the last piece of popcorn in her mouth and then licking the butter from her fingers.

“Maybe sometimes I like happy endings too…” she muttered.

-fin-