#(*frankly not a strong enough word. she really takes infantalization to a new level. it's incredible.)

[lapdogchase]

im soooo pissed off imm going to rock back and forth and look at posts so i feel better

[the-wonderland-jinx]

STUDY    :   JINX

—    BASICS.

▸     IS    YOUR    MUSE    TALL    /    SHORT    /    AVERAGE?  Short; 5′0″ to be exact.  ▸      ARE    THEY    OKAY    WITH    THEIR    HEIGHT? Indifferent.  ▸      WHAT’S    THEIR    HAIR    LIKE? It varies. Naturally, her hair is long, waves of a crimson sort of color; however, she cuts and, or dyes it every time she moves to a new city. Most commonly, her hair tends to be dyed either a red-ish, pink color or brown; very rarely will she allow it to be its natural red. Length tends to be either to the shoulder or to mid-back.  ▸     DO    THEY    SPEND    A    LOT    OF    TIME    ON    THEIR    HAIR     /    GROOMING? Not particularly. When it comes to cutting and, or dying her hair, she tends to take her time to make sure it’s done properly; this includes putting a good amount of conditioner in her hair to keep it from getting brittle. However, on a day to day, she’ll just quickly run a brush through it and that’s if she remembers! If she’s dealing with cases, she tends to forget to care for herself. Though it is worth noting that her hair HAS to be soft; when it gets brittle, it makes her head hurt and just generally irks her, so really it all just depends, I guess.  ▸      DOES   YOUR   MUSE   CARE   ABOUT   THEIR   APPEARANCE   /   WHAT    OTHERS    THINK? Yes and no. She has to care, up to a certain extent, because she has to ensure she’s not recognizable to enemies, but also needs to be able to blend in on a certain level; play innocent. Though, if we’re speaking simply on looks alone, she really doesn’t care about appealing to anyone. You could insult her looks and she’ll just give you a look like ‘and I care, why?’ 

—    PREFERENCES.

▸      INDOORS    OR    OUTDOORS?    It varies.  ▸      RAIN    OR    SUNSHINE?    Rain. ▸     FOREST    OR    BEACH?     Forest. ▸      PRECIOUS    METALS    OR    GEMS?    Gems. ▸     FLOWERS    OR    PERFUMES?    Flowers. ▸     PERSONALITY    OR    APPEARANCE?      Personality. ▸     BEING    ALONE    OR    BEING    IN    A    CROWD?    Being Alone. ▸     ORDER    OR    ANARCHY?     It varies. ▸     PAINFUL    TRUTHS    OR    WHITE    LIES?     It depends on the person, context, what she needs to accomplish, etc.; though if she’s on the receiving end? She prefers the truth, no matter how harsh it might be.  ▸     SCIENCE    OR    MAGIC?     Well, science is the known, the one she’s most familiar with, but if there’s a chance, even just a little one of learning real magic, of using real magic? Yeah, magic will win every time; it’s far too interesting not to.  ▸      PEACE    OR    CONFLICT?     If you asked, she’d probably say peace; not for herself, but for those she’s fighting to protect. Children. However, in her case, she’s never actually known peace and quite frankly, probably wouldn’t know what to do with it even if she got it. 

▸     NIGHT    OR    DAY?     Night.

▸     DUSK    OR    DAWN?     Dusk.

▸   WARMTH    OR    COLD?   Warmth.

▸     MANY   ACQUAINTANCES    OR    A    FEW    CLOSE    FRIENDS?    Few.

▸     READING    OR    PLAYING    A    GAME?     Reading.

—    QUESTIONNAIRE.

▸      WHAT    ARE    SOME    OF    YOUR    MUSE’S    BAD    HABITS? Oh boy, where do we start? Jinx has a laundry list of bad habits, but the first thing you need to be aware of is her serious lack in the self-preservation department. She fights to survive, yes; she won’t simply stand there and allow you to kill her, but only, only to complete her goal. You should also keep in mind, that she doesn’t intend to survive the ending either... This, however, does not stop her from putting herself into dangerous situations on a day to day basis. The quote ‘curiosity killed the cat’ very much applies to her. This includes, but is not limited to, going into places classified as haunted, taking the hands-on approach to dangerous cases, and very simply, speaking her mind, being blunt, when she thinks someones being an idiot. Oh, and it doesn’t stop there. If no one’s around to remind her, she’ll forget to eat and do even the most basic of care for herself and to top it all off, due to night terrors plaguing her, she downright refuses sleep until her body can’t handle it and she just passes out.  ▸      HAS    YOUR    MUSE    LOST    ANYONE    CLOSE    TO    THEM?      HOW    HAS    IT    AFFECTED    THEM? Yes. Note: suicide and child death mentions. Jinx will downright refuse to talk about it 99.99% of the time, but the first loss was her brother, though she’ll find out later on that he survived, she lost him when she was six. Her “parents” and brother left one day and never came back; leading her to assume they had killed him and took off. It was only many years later that their bodies were discovered, and she’d learned that it had actually been the other way around.  The next was when she was around 14, her best friends, two boys that lived in the orphanage with her, the only ones she’d grown close to, died. The first committing suicide, followed by the other breaking and going on a murder spree, ending with an attempt on his own life via fire and later on that year dying in prison.  The last and most heartbreaking, at 18, she gives birth to a daughter, Annabelle. She is only allowed to hold her for a moment before the infant was killed right before her eyes by the child’s own father.  More people have died, a lot more, but these are the ones she was closest to and without a doubt the most important. These deaths have made it extremely difficult for Jinx to open herself up to others. She keeps a distance, not only for their safety but hers. She doesn’t trust much, if at all. The only exception to this rule is children. Jinx felt a strong need to protect kids even before having had one of her own, but now? It’s been amplified a hundred times over. A good majority of her resources go to protecting children and she will never stand back and watch one be harmed; she can’t.  ▸      WHAT    ARE    SOME    FOND    MEMORIES    YOUR    MUSE    HAS? The fondest memory she has is of her and her brother, Daniel. It was Halloween and, he saw how excited all the other children were, but his sister remained bored, sad. She was the only child he knew that hated the holidays, but given their home situation, it made sense. Still, he just wasn’t having it. He wanted to give her, at least, one day, one holiday that she could remember fondly and get excited for, so every year, they’d spend Halloween night in the woods. They’d stay up all night and just laugh and play, being silly until the legs gave out then they’d just lay there and watch the stars together until they fell asleep. Sure, she has other memories, but... this is one of the few that has yet to be tainted for her.  ▸     IS    IT    EASY    FOR    YOUR    MUSE    TO    KILL? Yes. After Annabelle’s death, Jinx lost it. She couldn’t handle it, losing her daughter like that and thus, killing for her, is now as simple as breathing. Though she doesn’t do so without cause.  ▸      WHAT’S    IT    LIKE    WHEN    YOUR    MUSE    BREAKS    DOWN? It depends on the breakdown. There will be times when she keeps a monotonous face, void, and kills whoever it is that caused such emotion and there will be times when she just can’t stop crying. Sometimes she’ll even attempt to drink the feelings away; sometimes all three. It all just depends, but one thing is certain, if it can be helped, she’ll do her damnest to make sure it’s not in front of anyone or at the very least, anyone she cares about. Jinx grew up learning that emotions are weakness, and while does she doesn’t completely agree now, she still prefers to keep her breakdowns private. Plus, as mentioned, being around her during a breakdown isn’t always the safest place to be.  ▸      IS    YOUR    MUSE    CAPABLE    OF    TRUSTING    SOMEONE    WITH    THEIR    LIFE? With her life? Ermm, that’s complicated. She’s capable, sure, but... it’s very rare that she would trust someone, at all, nevermind that much. Quite frankly, I’m not sure she knows how to trust someone that much. Capable? Sure. Likely? No, not really.  ▸      WHAT’S    YOUR    MUSE    LIKE    WHEN    THEY’RE    IN    LOVE? A damn mess, that’s what she is. Again, Jinx doesn’t do emotions. She’s not fond of them AT ALL and she never properly developed an understanding of social cues and relationships? Those are so much worse. If we’re being completely honest here, getting attached to someone in this way makes her extremely uncomfortable and confused; it might take a bit for her to sort things out. Her actions will likely show how she feels before she is able to put them into words. She’ll relax visibly, allow more of her personality to show, real genuine emotions, and maybe, just maybe, allow herself to get comfortable enough to get some damn sleep. It takes A LOT to get Jinx to this point, but when she cares, when she loves, she does so, deeply. She won’t be so inclined to keep secrets, and loving someone, actually forces her to take pause, and rethink how her goals will end. When she’s in love, she wants to do more than just survive with them; she wants to live and heaven help anyone that dares get in the way. 

Tagged by: @thelordofshadows​ Tagging: my brain is dead, so if you’re reading this, you’re tagged! 

[kyberled]

also; kind of a meta topic — what would braig's life had been like if his father, rather than his mother, died? what would he have been like if his mother had raised him alone (or perhaps with her parents, or a new partner, or other extended family) in her care, without eadric? or, perhaps divorced from eadric in a strangely ideal situation in which they receive financial stability from him but he rarely has any contact with braig.

Metas || Accepting literally always

Ho boy. I got a lot to say about this. First off, I do wanna make a few points about Eadric, cause, he wasn’t always a flaming mass of acrid fecal matter in a vaguely bitter humanoid shape. He wasn’t a great person by any means, but it was a lot of the fallout following Shiv’s accident that made him as bitter and disgusting as he is, today. He never wanted kids to begin with, and would’ve been a bad parent regardless, but, yeah, not quite as awful as he is, now.

So, if Shiv had never died, Eadric still wouldn’t be very involved in Braig’s life. As I said, he never really wanted kids, so he decided he’d take on extra duties and whatnot at work, which had the double bonus of letting him stay away from his responsibilities and bringing in extra money so Shiv could take time off to actually, you know, be a parent to their very young infant son? But it worked out well for them, they each got what they wanted (mostly), Braig was well looked-after by Mum and Dad didn’t get to bother him while also providing the financial support, and sometimes Shiv would go out to help at the hospital she worked at and leave Braig in the capably-programmed hands of the various droids they owned, after lecturing them on exactly how to take care of her baby, right down to the very finest of details regarding his feeding. She was kind of obsessive over making sure Braig was okay. If Eadric had died, then obviously Shiv would have to spend a lot more time at work, and a lot less time with Braig, in order to make end’s meet, and he’d probably spend a lot of time being raised by droids, which, while not necessarily a bad thing, it would definitely impact his upbringing and perception of things. As an added bonus, this would really stress Shiv out and make her feel guilty about not being there for her kid, which in turn would bring down her mood, and of course impact their relationship. She does her best to avoid taking any of it out on Braig, of course, and on the rare instances she does snap at him, it’s followed instantly with apologies and hugs - “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to yell at you, it’s not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong, work’s really tough right now but I still shouldn’t have yelled, I’m sorry, I love you”, that kind of thing, but she still feels kinda like garbage afterwards. Once she works her way up in the hospital staff, it’s less taxing on her, and bonus points come in the form of getting some time off to spend with her boy. Some usual activities for them include going to the book store, the tea shop, or the park, though they also enjoy spending time at home. Sometimes they’ll just read, or watch holovids, or cook. Braig figures out he likes cooking a lot earlier in this verse than the canon, since he doesn’t really have much else to do, without training or missions to get in the way. He’s obviously not in nearly as good shape as he is in the canon verse/main timeline, for obvious reasons, but he’s still a wiry little guy with a metabolism that could outpace an out-of-control speeder. I like to think that the Force in an untrained individual, or, at least, an untrained Braig, manifests itself in the form of loads of pent-up energy, all the time, and a lot of stimuli that non-sensitives can’t pick up on, kind of like the air being filled with static electricity and your ears always getting filled with whispers, maybe random fluctuations in temperature without it getting actually hotter/colder– It’s kind of hard to explain, but just think about the air feeling different based on how strong in the Force a place is, and of course this can also amplify other sensations caused by the Force, as well. I also headcanon, at least in Braig’s case, that phantom touches can be a thing, like feeling something brushing by when nothing is there, and it can be really disconcerting if you’re not used to it. Of course, how strong these are depends on how strong the specific person is in the Force. Since Braig is still the same old Braig, he’s got enough midichlorians swimming about in his cells that he could have been a Jedi, if his mother had agreed to give him to the Order, and so he’s pretty susceptible to the different signals the Force sends into his brain. Adding to this is the fact that he’s never gotten any training, and so has no idea how to throw up the ‘shields’ or barriers that Jedi use to dull the feelings that the Force gives him, so he’s basically just getting slammed in the face with all sorts of stimuli twenty-four seven, but it’s been like that for as long as he can remember, so he’s pretty much used to it, by now.

Tl;dr, Braig who was not taken in by the Jedi is more easily distracted, and wired on some kind of energy, and in some places gets really bad mojo and just generally feels terrible, and that definitely reflects on his mood.

He’s also a lot less selfless in this AU, if that’s the word I’m looking for. Or, well, maybe more attached to material goods is a better way of phrasing it. Less likely to put himself at risk for the greater good, or whatever. I wouldn’t call him a bad person by any means, but he’s not trained to think other people just matter more than he does. He tries to be helpful when he can, and he wants to make his mother proud and do good like she does, but in the end, he’s just a normal teenager. He’s not a civil servant, not a monk, just a kid with a pretty good heart in his chest. He’s less brave, as well, since he hasn’t been forced to endure the horrors of war at a young age, but he also doesn’t have a lot of the same fears he had as a Jedi, such as the fear of worms and snakes, of narrow underground spaces, and even his fear of abandonment isn’t nearly as bad as it was what he was a Jedi. He’s not subject to the nightmares and insomnia and whatnot in this verse, so, while he’s not as in shape, he’s probably healthier, since he’s getting regular sleep and a lot less stress. He’s also got a lot fewer scars, for obvious reasons, so, that’s a bonus.

In this verse, Shiv actually doesn’t have nearly as many problems with Eadric, the Republic, or the Jedi that she does in the canon, so they’re probably still married in this verse. Eadric’s not as much of a trash heap, as I said, but he’s also not the most involved person in the world. Braig doesn’t know him very well, but they don’t have the same antagonistic and detached and quite frankly abusive relationship they would have if he were Braig’s sole caregiver. He is still pretty strict, though.

Probably the really only positive interaction he has with his dad in this is chess. Instead of Obi and Shaak, his chess partner is Eadric. It’s really the only form of strategy Braig has to employ, so he’s not quite as good at war games as he is in canon. He’s also not even close to being at the level of combative skill as he is in canon. Again, this one’s kind of a given, but, oh, well.

He still goes on walks/jogs around the neighbourhood, usually at the parks, since, even if the Senate district is safer and less crowded than some other parts of the city, he finds the parks are a lot quieter and easier to navigate. I dunno if martial arts clubs are a thing in the Star Wars universe, though I’m not sure why they wouldn’t be, so he does that as well. It’s a good way for him to burn off more of the Force-given energy, gives him a decent social circle, and the bonus points are, Eadric quietly, and very distantly, approves of it as an activity.

Braig’s still interested in medicine, and follows in his mother’s footsteps of becoming a doctor, and in fact would volunteer his services to the war effort. He wouldn’t go out to the front lines, but he would go to planets that had been hit by the war and were trying to get back up on their feet, and give medical treatment to the people there. He might go to the front lines if he was dragged out, but he avoids it like the plague. Refugees, he will gladly help, but he doesn’t want anything to do with a war zone.

Even so, Braig’s not nearly as well-travelled as he is in the Jedi verse, and he doesn’t speak nearly as many languages. He speaks a few, but it’s more conversational than fluency, at best.

He wouldn’t live with his extended family, since they’re all living at least a couple levels down, and Shiv worked her butt off to get to the surface, where the air is filtered and clean, the sunlight is natural and bright, there aren’t nearly as many feral animals roaming the streets unchecked, and it’s generally a nicer place to live. If it were just her, she wouldn’t be as adamant about it, and might even venture a few levels down to live more within her means (If this were in a timeline where she’s not with Eadric/doesn’t have that financial boon), but, she would never subject her son to that. Only the best for him, she thinks. She kind of spoils Braig relentlessly. She’s also the glue that holds them together as a family, too. I’m not gonna say Eadric and Braig are best friends, or anywhere near as close as Obi and Braig are in canon, but it’s a positive-neutral sort of thing. 

He’s quieter in this verse, since he doesn’t have to confront politicians or enemy soldiers all the time, he hasn’t developed that outspoken personality as much. He’s more introverted, and another part is due to the fact that he doesn’t have that Force training he does as a Jedi. He doesn’t have the reassurance of being able to sense people’s emotions, so he’s not nearly as confident when speaking. 

I mean, overall, he has a pretty good life. His mom spoils him, he’s not a soldier, he gets an education. He can’t complain.

He does feel like he doesn’t really belong, though.

And, sometimes, on his runs around the city, he’ll stop and stare at the Jedi Temple, and he’ll wonder.