#((this is a game where you NEED to play blind. srsly))

[stardustedwanderer]

((...gonna make one major change here, and try to tag spoilers. so still not spoiler free but i'm gonna flat tag 'spoilers' and then an act if specifically applicable - a lot of stuff can happen in acts 2-4 so i'll try to aim for the earliest possible point but your milage may vary etc))

[hellreads]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Park Jimin (BTS)/Reader Characters: Park Jimin (BTS) Additional Tags: Angst, Smut, Fluff Series: Part 1 of The One with the Tropes

Summary:

You’ve only bared your body to Jimin, mostly silent after the act. The one time you do, you find yourself baring your soul to him, far more than you bargained for.

OR

(the fubu trope)

“Will you play with me?” 

“What kind of game?”

Fringe, my love, if ever you get to read this one day I want you to know that everything you write is precious and I’m thankful you’ve gifted us with Ineffable, this is my favorite Park Jimin fic, there’s something about the way you write that always pulls me in and after reading your note about being single (when you wrote this) as the inspiration for this fic, it hit me hard and made me understood why I was so affected because just like you I miss the feeling of intimacy too.

[SPOILERS AHEAD ~ because my feelings are unstoppable]

it’s been a while since I read something that made me feel like there’s a literal hole in my heart, I love Kim Seokjin to the moon and back so reading and immersing into this as his Bestfriend for the longest time, pining hardcore for him and everyone knew but the boy was too was blind to see it, fuck it fucking hurt, god, the amount of angsty emotions this pulled from me was no joke, I became so sensitive and grumpy to people around me as I was reading this, Seokjin was too beautiful, too perfect, but also dumb and dense to not see love in her actions and words for him, I was frustrated the whole time and he really had to give her cup to that brunette (I will address her as brunette through and through because I’m petty like that)

do you believe in fate? Jimin, he was a gift from fate, he always manages to be there for her just when she needs someone to save her from the pain Jin causes her fragile heart, at first he was a stranger in a crowd but they found each other, he was a welcomed distraction because for the nth time she failed in confessing and pouring all her love for her best friend. everything happened so fast, one moment she was sulking over her love and a certain brunette, then she’s asking the pledge to fuck her, she needed to feel something else, something that will make her forget (and regret) she was cold towards the boy because she knew that was it, a one night stand that doesn’t require any cuddling and ego-stroking, a quick fuck, self-pity and a few text messages later I felt bad for her, she had no choice but to dive in and pick anyone up to her challenge and it sucks because she felt guilty for something that doesn’t have any repercussions she was a single grown-ass woman who could date, fuck, and dump whoever she wants, but it’s Jin, her constant, it’s always him (but it will never be her)

fast forward to more encounters with Jimin, fate really wants to test her huh, was fate cruel? first, sharing a class with Jimin the boy she avoided like the plague, then meeting Jin only to listen to him talk about the brunette with so much love it pricks my heart like a bitch, my eyes were rolling at the whole cafe conversation, please just shut up Jin... then the party, ugh, I hated Hoseok for not even showing a little interest or respect to MC, she’s human too and Jin’s BFF but I guess they were much more interested in meeting the pretty, sexy, cutie whatever brunette, like what makes her special huh? pft but thank goodness MC has her own personal hero in the form of Park Jimin he saved her once again, even if she explicitly told him it’ll never happen again, my whole body tingled when she gave in once again because the boy is packing some wild stamina, feelings were developing and as much as I love and adore Jin, Ineffable Jimin whisked me away, he clearly has a soft spot for MC, he cares about her, studies her little quirks and pays attention to everything she says and do and this time she was the blind one, he may not be as hardcore as here when it comes to solo pining but he’s getting there, the way he pleases her and begs for her to stay was evidence but the stubborn cold-hearted girl won’t budge saying it’s the last and it’ll never happen again but upon discovering the information that he will be practically attached to Jin’s hip because their buddies leaves her without a choice but to accept that Jimin will always be there.

now their own game starts with a few rules no small talk and no way he could talk about her with others and he happily complied (what a tsundere babe) even if she finally has someone to soften the blow, Jin had to wreck her heart through and through and I hate it, I hate Jin, and I hate that brunette, but despite all the hate brewing in me Jimin was there once again to rile her up it was funny not until somebody had to dampen her mood once again, sigh, everything happens for a reason and Jin always hurts and pushes her away but she keeps clinging on to him, part of me thinks that more than liking, loving, and considering him as her constant, she sees Jin as her home, she had a rough life and he’s always been there, but she needs to let go and detach herself to let other people in but damn her grip on him was too tight, her hopes still burning bright that one day Jin will look at her the way she wants him to see her...

oh god I literally summarized everything but this is the best part, the part where you need to hold your heart from all the fluff, the angst and soft genuine smut (because the first two smutty scenarios are rough and wild and just pure delicious smutty goodness *chef’s kiss*) Jimin has slowly become her constant, they finally learned a lot about each other slowly, the bits and pieces of information felt like they’re working on a pretty scrapbook supplying parts of them until everything makes sense, then Jimin came up with a new rule, sure they were content with the way things were but they ultimately decided and agreed to ranting while the other listens, I love how MC is slowly opened herself to Jimin, and how she started to smile and laugh again, something we never really saw with Jin, all he did was make her pine, hope, wait, sulk, hurt, and repeat, but with Jimin her life started to show patches of colors, he makes her happy, makes her smile, makes her warm, he worked his way up to be able to stay by her side even if he could’ve just ditched her now that he’s done being a pledge but he was in too deep to even let go.

everything was falling into place until she had to have her heart broken once again, srsly cried hard while reading this part moving forward, Jimin never questioned the game she wanted to play, to become lovers even for a short period of time, a borrowed time to make her feel for once that she belongs to someone, that someone can love the mess that she is, that she is worth all the love the world could give despite her flaws and all,  the whole play scenario shred my heart to pieces because as much as MC thinks she’s hurting, she had no clue that Jimin is feeling the same too, she’s asking to be held, to be loved, to be someone’s universe when he’s right in front of her holding her until her broken pieces are put back together, loving every part of her even those she didn’t think were desirable parts of her for in his eyes she was perfect, and most importantly Jimin looks at her as if she was the universe he holds with his hands, beautiful, fragile, full of life and sorrow, but still lovely nonetheless. 

she opened up, opened and pour her heart out to him trusting he’ll listen and won’t judge her, she finally lost the battle, the one she loved the most will never be hers, fate already made it clear with all the way he treated her only as a friend, the times she had to endure, listen, and support him whenever he falls for someone new, and the reality that he will be asking the love of his life to marry him on a whim, life is truly fucking unfair huh, but it really isn’t because it was never Jin to begin with... it was Park Jimin all along, he was never a distraction because that’s where he truly belonged, he was the center of her universe.

sigh after literally typing and spoiling a lot my feels got the best of me I cried then smiled again this really is the best Jimin piece I've read, it was beautifully written with every intention to soften someone’s heart and maybe open themselves to love again, because that’s what it did to me well it softened my heart but idk if I'm opening up myself anytime soon. I really adored Jimin’s characterization here he can be the cocky fuckboy who plays around but his loyalty to MC was something, he was whipped right away ig, he’s also very cute, persistent, clueless, and annoying at times, but god this boy was so loveable I swerved directly to his lane, the vivid descriptions of every scenario especially the smut appeased my sulky self because Ineffable Jin tore my heart to pieces but the best part here is when she asked to play a game with Jimin, god it was the most beautiful thing I read, she was so broken almost irreparable but Jimin stayed with her and made sure she feels his heart, his actions were so pure I will never get over it, maybe I do love Jimin, I denied it for the longest time and Ineffable is that fic that got me accepting and shouting all my love for him sighhhh, again, thank you for this Fringe, you and your works deserve all the love, now watch me bombard my friends with this fic so we could gush about Park Jimin 24/7. | 🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒

[byul-bit-arae]

Boyfriend Taeyong

“When I fall in love, it will be forever.  Or I’ll never fall in love. In a restless world like this is–   Love is ended before it’s begun. And too many moonlight kisses, Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun."

*Silently slides this across the table and leaves* I'll just leave this here.

.

.

Ok but

Ok ok ok 

*Grabs tissues, blankets, desserts* gotta get real ready for this now

*Pushes up virtual glasses bc I always forget to wear mine shh we don't talk about that* boyfriend taeyong you say?

Well I saY GTFO I DONT WANNA DIE OF TOO MUCH FEELS SIS

Ok jk come back ere I would die everyday for one (1) human being and that's Lee Taeyong

.. wait wat

Anyway

This kid dude is literally t h e best bf you could ever have like what ????

You see all those shitty posts/texts/ads about perfect boyfriends??? Yeah just like that

Or maybe better

Way better

Taeyong would love you with A L L OF HIS HEART 

He's basically a five-year-old who only sees you, and like, nothing else.

Except for chocolate but like, nothing else

Like before you guys start dating

And that would probably be a GOOD while bc this pure lil child doesn't even know what dating is (no I'm serious have you seen that article)

Srsly tho 

Not just that but he seems to me like the type to take relationships very seriously 

Like blind dates and one night stands wouldn't be his thing, he wouldn't fancy them and just, no

He probably believes in those fictional perfect love stories

And is well aware it might take time to find the right person and is okay with waiting his whole life for it

He just secretly hopes it's soon k

And then he meets u

And wow Lee Taeyong the quiet cold-ish dude who?

More like LEE TAEYONG THE CUTEST FLUSTERED AWKWARD BALL OF FLUFF

When he saw you the first time he could swear he got like star struck or something

He gets all flustered at everything you do and he doesn't know why

Like WHAT IS HAPPENING WHY AM I BEING LIKE THIS WHAT IS THIS 

BODY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

BRAIN WHAT IS THIS MESS

HEART STOP POUNDING LIKE CRAZY OKAY THANKS

Like you smile and he's a mess, you just sit there and he's a mess, you pout and he's a mess, you look at him and he's a M E S S ™

And he doesn't even know why bc he never felt like this towards someone

He'd probably meet you through one of the members

Yuta, your close friend, finally decided to introduce you to his 'brothers'

He calls them his brothers but then it took him like three years to introduce you guys bc he's one hell of an overprotective best friend, or mom, over you

"Hey guys I can't believe I'm doing this but this is my little cute precious best friend Y/N and no you can't talk to her"

"Um yuta pls calm down"

Anyways

So the first meeting goes on great I mean the guys are all super kind and funny 

And so you start meeting them more often!!

And Taeyong--

istg this kid--

Like he sees you, and some fictional chibi monster starts gnawing at his insides

#SaveLeeTaeyong2k18

Like you noticed how he's kind of quiet around you and stuff but then yuta reassured you saying he's just a bit introverted and it'd take him time to open up

Bc tbh you actually thought he didn't really fancy your presence?? Since he looked really quiet and basically expressionless? and you'd like catch him glaring holes into your head from the corner of your eye??

BUT GURL LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THAT HE IS JUST WAY TOO WHIPPED HE KEEPS STARING DROOLING AT YOU

IT'S JUST THAT HIS POKER FACE LOOKS A BIT INTIMIDATING

BUT HE'S REALLY ALL UNDER YOUR SPELL OK LIKE YOU'RE SOME FALLEN ANGEL OR IDK OK.

ANYWAYS.

So it'd take him some time to start being comfortable around you

Considering that he's an introvert; a whipped introvert to be exact

But eventually you guys will get friendlier

And that would make him know more stuff about you and wow he never thought he could like you even more but here we are ??

Also the way you take care of the dreamies just !!! Makes his heart go !!!!!!

You just find them really cute and feel the need to protect them from all evil

Also winwin, bc take notes, winwin invented cute 

And how you'd be especially close to mark 

And you'd be his fav noona too

Aw.

And how you're so so kind w the older guys too

And Taeyong just-- admires you so so much

Bc he loves his friends so dearly and the fact that you love them too and take care of his beloved ones makes him so happy, he just appreciates it a lot

And legit keeps staring at you from a distance with a sweet smile as you put a scarf over jisung before he goes out or you hand winwin a new book about Korean poetry that you bought for him

And then probably Johnny passes by and lightly smacks his head to wake him from his day dreams and whispers

"Dude stop that's so creepy"

Oh btw

Everyone in the dorm knows about his crush on you

E V E R Y O N E .

Probably even their pets

This child is so bad at not getting flustered at the mere thought of you someone protecc

And the guys tease him the whole time omg

Like even the younger ones

He swears to ground them like ten times a day but ends up forgetting bc he'd be so flustered

AND SO ONE DAY 

You probably get left in the dorm alone w him

Don't ask me how yuta agreed to that ok I might be the author but evEN IDK K BYE.

And so you start chatting

Probably while cleaning the mess made by another seventeen wild horses

And you both find it funny how at first you were so so distant and awkward

And now here you are casually picking up chenle's underwear from the floor and throwing it with the laundry

And you tell him how you thought he was unfriendly at first and he laughs it off

And he tells you how he watched how you treated his brothers before opening up to you

And you're like ooOooOOoH so that's why, I thought you were glaring @ me and you actually hated me

And ty would literally snap like ARE YOU KIDDING ME I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS DEEP IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE MY WHOLE LIFE---

And you're like wait what

And he's like wait what.

DING! NEW LEVEL OF SOFT UNLOCKED

HE WOULD BE LITERALLY FREAKING OUT AND NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY HIS BRAIN WOULD BE ALL LIKE UNKNOWN ERROR ABORT MISSION A B O R T MISSIO--

"Taeyong it's okay I like you too

It's actually really relieving since I thought you didn't feel the same so I was a bit gloomy"

And then he apologizes for the misunderstanding

And at that moment jeno barges in and he's like um sorry am I interrupting something

And before you say anything he's like oh shit I'm really interrupting something sorry BYEEEE

But then he opens the door again and he's like okay ONE last question hyung did you ask her out yet

And ty is like jeNO I SWEAR TO GOD

And then when jeno leaves bc he realizes he needs to run for his life or else he'll spend the night in the streets,

It's really awkward before you're like

"so uh.. how about we grab some coffee? Like a first date?"

And taeyong tries his best to muster up a good answer until the word "date" leaves your mouth and he's like 1010101010011101 error shutdown sorry.

Anyways so you go out to this cute coffee shop and that's your first awkward date full of tingling feels and chibi monsters gnawing on your insides.

You probably frequent that coffee shop a lot more often after that

Bc coffee shop dates w taeyong are just so adorable

And he's adorable

*mark silently dragging my crying whipped ass away*

Arcade dates are also your thing

Since he's a little bit too obsessed with games

He loves museums too so he'd bring you to a lot of them

Especially art museums

And you're like why should we go when I've got a whole piece of art in front of me

And he blushes and smiles

Late late night dates

Where you just walk around like fools at like three in the morning bc neither of you could sleep

And you probably grab some ice cream

Okay I'm making it sound like you'd be such an outdoor couple when you're not lmao

Okay not rlly

But my point is that you'd prefer cuddling in bed all day over any of those

Not only in bed but really everywhere

Y'all are just so cute and soft

Skinship skinship and a lot of skinship

He can't stay like ten seconds without touching you

idk like he has to grab your hand or hug you or have you hug him or juST BE IN PHYSICAL CONTACT W YOU OK LIKE HE MIGHT DIE OR SMG OK

But there are some small cute things you notice he likes

Like back hugging you when you're doing literally anything

Like you'd be cooking or washing the dishes or freaking wiping away the dust or just looking out the window and he'd waddle to you as if his skinship'o'meter is hitting a critically low level and he needs urgent recharge

He'd then slowly wrap his arms around you so so gently yet you still feel like his whole world depends on that hug

90% of the time he'd rest his chin on your shoulder

Okay not his chin but technically press his lips against your shoulder, crook of neck, neck, collarbones, hairline, the skin behind your ear, your jawline, basically anywhere he could reach

Like they aren't even kisses his lips would just ever so softly ghost around your skin and his nose would nuzzle your crooks

You're dead if you're ticklish

He also likes intertwining fingers

Like not even all fingers but two or three

He'd love link your index and ring fingers as you walk, lay around and whenever he holds your hand which is often

He love love loves when you play with his hair

Kittyong anybody?

Esp as you praise him

Or you cup his cheeks and then your hands slowly creep to his ears and then to play with the hair on the back of his head

Or simply when you're laying down as he rests on your chest

He looooves doing that

Like he doesn't even care if you're boobless he just really loves that 

Sometimes while having really deep conversations

Or when you're cheering him up if he's ever having a rough time

Like you'd gently caress his hair as you tell him all the things you love about him

If he's really really down he'd silently cry and hugs you tighter 

And then end up falling asleep to your soft soothing voice and touch

He's usually very cheerful and hyper though

You'd love spending time in the kitchen tgt

Flour fights aren't that common bc he's usually tidy but they do happen so watch out

He loves cooking for you

And LOVES when you cook for him

Like even the simplest things

You don't really have to be that good at cooking like you'd crack him an egg and he'd be as happy as if you've served him a full course meal

He'd teach you how to cook but wouldn't let you do it like tf

He says to use those skills when he's not home

Although whenever he's leaving for some time he'd stack up the fridge w food that would probably last a year

Very random kisses

Like very random listen to me

You'd be like watching TV or something and he'd suddenly turn and peck your cheek then go back to watching

And you're like ?????

And he's like nothing I just wanted to do it

And you're like ????? uwu

Man I could talk about him all day but no one can afford this 

This is already way longer than all my other boyfriend posts wsdswdsdwdswdws

He just wants to be loved okay give my boi some sarang

Just kidding give him all the sarang lmao

.

.

No really I'm serious.

[tumblunni]

An underrated good part of Maddiman's characterization that makes him both more redeemable and more terrifying is how he genuinely does not seem to know that what he is doing is evil.

Like in yokai watch 3 he sounds genuinely confused that the three turtle yokai wouldnt want to be "improved" by being fused together. He genuinely cared about them and apparantly treated them quite well because they loved him too and didnt want to leave even though they didnt want to fuse together. And all it took to get him to stop was someone simply explaining why this was bad, which he was completely surprised by yet also instantly trusted and believed even though you were someone he'd only just met and had no reason to believe was trustworthy. Like he's just so goddamn nice and friendly like that??

Seriously its so interesting how his personality manages to be so ridiculously ludicrously cute and nice even when he's doing mad science doom! And i think its interesting cos it feels like they had to develop him this way in order to get him to become the complex character they wanted in yw2, when all the evidence seems to point to that not being planned at the time of yw1. Seripusly he acts so OOC when you look at it in retrospect! Justa generic scary doctor minion of mckraken, and clearly didnt have the backstory planned cos why would a human yokai join the anti human group? But this strange personality duality allows them to retroactively make it more in-character to this new character they made for him, without needing to retcon anything.

Like when you look back on it, you could kinda reinterpret his yw1 appearance through that lens? Maddiman is a nice dude but he gets easily obsessed with his experiments and seems to have a blind spot where he forgets that they dont seem so great to everyone else. Everyone would enjoy being my experiment, they could become super powerful and also part of important history in the field of science! Fwahahaha! And while i am doing the totally not evil thing of cutting out a child's heart to shove in my ultimate weapon and turning his discarded corpse into a yokai, i may as well mess around and do some ~ultimate theatrical hamminess~ to make it fun for the lil guy! *big innocent eyes* *"you are the villain of this story" flies right over his head, ignored*

I mean in yw2 he doesnt even seem to be mad at Nate/Katie over what happened last time, even though he does seem to remember them. (Saying "that boy/girl again" when talking about them defeating Hans) Instead he's just frightened that someone broke into his laboratory, and then annoyed that they ended up setting Hans on themselves cos of their own damn fault. Like he was never planning to attack you at all if you hadnt bumbled into that mistake! And in Medal Wars he literally just says "oh hello good morning" when you walk into his lab, and you initiate the fight with him instead of simply explaining 'hey maddiman whoops you accidentally caused a blackout, i see your experiment is over now so maybe you could unplug your machine and fix things?" Srsly like 90% of all maddiman related problems could probably be resolved with 'hey mr orb dad could you please not do the bad?" "Oh wait i was doing a bad? I had no idea, sorry!"

And its also really good how this is a character trait thats generally rather absurd and goofy, but also when you think about it it makes sense with his tragic backstory. "I'll do something extreme and ridiculous rather than the logical conclusion, with seemingly no awareness that this choice is foolish and self destructive, and also this could be resolved if i simply talked about my problems with someone who could set me straight" is played for drama in his past, and it becoming a recurring comedic character trait is a good way of making it sorta like..integrated into his personality, all realistic like.

I dunno i just feel like they put a lot of depth into this random joke/coverup for a retcon. And it makes him pretty unique! And also pretty versatile cos honestly in any future game they could probably put maddiman inthe role of ally or antagonist for any quest ever, and itd always make sense every time. He's left open for a lot of accidental misunderstandings even after he's turned good,just cos thats who he is. He's mr supergenius with absolutely zero common sense!

Also i feel like "dont worry, experimenting on people isnt bad!" is possibly an extension of how reckless and self destructive he was as a human. I mean we're told he worked so hard he lost his family, worked so hard He wore the same clothes for weeks, starved himself, never slept, literally drove himself to death because of this. Feels like "dont worry i can replace sleep with caffeine" was the first step in "dont worry i can replace my no longer beating heart with this supernatural IV drip" and "dont worry i can fix literally everything wrong with everyone whether they want me to or not"...

I dunno maybe im thinking too deep into this, but thats kinda my job as a Certified Grandpa Analyst (note: may or may not be a job that exists)

[baahsu]

This is my post on why I ship yoonkook + favorite moments of them for @tankun's giveaway (aka her excuse to gather more evidence on why yoonkook is the best ship), congrats on 500 followers!!! 🎉💜

(I'll put it under a cut because it's too long and a mess and, as a warning, I really suck at explaining anything, so if this makes close to no sense then you know why)

Jungkook admires yoongi: you can see that by the way he talks about him, saying he's like a teacher and knows about a lot of stuff and can be trusted, he also said yoongi is “a teacher for life” in an interview or in one of those profile things. It’s so precious I can't, I cry.

Idk if it’s related to Jungkook admiring yoongi, but he copies him? A lot? Piercings. Ssup noise. Lamb skewers. Yoongi's tweets. Hot pink vs oh hot pink. Drums. Photography. “Jungkook-ah” (this is more imitating than copying, but I don’t care). This clap thing. The noise while eating. Or maybe jungkook is just a big fanboy? He was all excited for yoongi’s mixtape and even said he cried while listening to it. He also really likes yoongi’s part in cypher 3 (there’s that bangtan bomb where he’s jamming to it with tae), or just yoongi performing anything at all for that mater.

Funny enough, Yoongi copying jungkook has also become a thing? In a minor scale, sure, but a thing? The meme dance. The head tilt. The way he walks (ok, that one is more mockery than copying, but still).

Jungkook thinks yoongi is adorable: it’s really not that difficult to find videos where yoongi does something random and jungkook laughs and looks away as if his heart can't take more of yoongi's antics, and same, jungkook, same. Tho as a bonus my heart can't take more of jungkook being like this either.

While jungkook doesn’t do much, or anything at all, to hide his feelings, yoongi somehow manages to be even worse sometimes. He's so whipped and weak for jungkook I don't even know where to start. When a member teases him he usually gathers all the sass he has and spits something back, or just looks at them with the most displeased look ever, but with jungkook he just let's it happen?? The most he does is look flustered or whine that "no, this is not true" or something; see jungkook making fun of his save me dance, of the way he asks him out for lamb skewers, of the way he mocks how yoongi sings "fireeeee". Top that with him never posting something funny for jungkook's bday and with him not posting a distorted image of jungkook when he was absent for the end year activities in 2016 while he did it for the other members. Whipped? Whipped. All I can say is that jungkook has yoongi wrapped around his finger and he knows it (probably takes advantage of it too, the little shit).

Not only is yoongi whipped and weak af, he's also super proud of jungkook, it’s as if he has never seen someone that incredible before in his life. “Jungkook is good at everything” (he said this during the ask in a box thing), “I don’t think I’ve seen someone with as much talent as jungkook” and so on, he's just full of praises for him and never gets tired of bragging about him. Tae can play the sax? Jungkook can do better even though he's probably never even seen a sax in person before. Talents? Jungkook can do imitations better than anyone, despite the poor boy saying otherwise: see the 360 show, the cultwo interview for spring day and for dna too. Tbh I though yoongi was making fun of him in half of these, but in the last cultwo he said that it was ok that jungkook failed the imitation because he knows he can do better?? What kind of blind support is that?? Jungkook is amazing regardless of succeeding or failing at something, I get it. But I mean, why am I ever surprised since that's even more obvious in their 2017 season greetings? Remember how jungkook failed at everything except soccer and yoongi still deemed him the best player? Even though tae was doing way better? Srsly yoongi, get your shit together man, this is getting ridiculous.

Yoongi is pretty much obvious and we know it, but I need to go back to jungkook because I just remembered there’s some moments that really made me question if he knows what being subtle means. When asked which member he’d marry: chooses yoongi. Wants to mock something yoongi said/did before: “leave your forth finger empty”. Sees yoongi dressed as a maid: “I want you to be my gf” (this was in rookie king episode 5). Makes a video for yoongi’s bday: “I want you”. Boy. BOY. I’d really like to hear an explanation for all of these.

Besides everything I just listed I have to say my favorite thing about yoonkook is how much they complement and respect each other. People say their personalities are different, but not really? They may react different to some situations, but in essence they're basically the same. They're both introverts, if yoongi feels comfortable and confident he'll talk non stop, if jungkook is with people he trusts he'll act silly (and same for yoongi in this case). Yoongi is passionate about music and focuses everything in it, jungkook is passionate about a lot of stuff and focuses on all of them, singing, dancing, bowling, photography, gaming and now composing, except he jumps from one to the other really quick sometimes. All in all I just feel like they’d have a very supportive, healthy and loving relationship, and what else could you ask for.

I could've just posted this last paragraph and leave it at that, but I wanted to share some good yoonkook moments with everyone. Truth be told, I didn't mention all my favorites (I’ll make another post some day to share the ones I left behind), but what can I say, every yoonkook moment is a favorite of mine <3

[amongthegentlymad]

For everyone in the path of the hurricane

PT 1. ITS COMING

-DONT DO THE STUPID listen to your local authorities and whatnot, if they say evacuate get the hell outta Dodge. secure ur property if u have to leave. unplug electronics, turn off ur breakers, bag up anything u are worried might get wet.

-make sure to fill up ur car with gas, if u can, have a full can of gas on hand also in case u need it.

-fill ur bathtubs with water (useful for emergency supply and also for flushing commodes)

-if u have a generator, test to make sure it is in good working order. make sure u have plenty of fuel.

-tie ur outside stuff down or bring it inside. if it looks like it could go flyin off in a storm it will.

-stock up on drinking water (for urself and pets)

-fill ur meds

-basic stuff to have on hand: paper plates, paper cups, plastic disposable utensils, tinfoil, first aid kit, rubbing alcohol, monies, xtra batteries, flashlights, hygiene items like pads n tampons, soap, dishwashing liquid. iodine tablets for disinfecting water, whistle, important documents in waterproof containers, insect repellent, sunscreen, non-perishable noms (canned foods, pet food, crackers, pnut butter or some kinda sandwich spread stuff that doesn’t require fridge, beans, bread, dried fruit, nuts, chocolate, etc.)

-battery operated radio if possible. also portable chargers for ur phone

-baby wipes. srsly. for keeping cool and washing urself

-battery operated fans are wonderful. 

-have a cooler of some sort around and ice, styrofoam coolers are usually pretty cheap (if you are crafty you can make ur own it also cooks food)

-how to make ur own first aid/survival kit in a prescription bottle

-check to see if you are in an area prone to flooding. u are? get out, get to higher ground. no if ands or buts.

-lower ur blinds, close curtains, stay away from windows. plywood or storm shutters r best. a lot of “ tape or don’t tape? “ concerning windows going around. use ur best judgement. if u gotta tape, tape ‘em good, x shape all the way across the windows. like this. use alligator tape. it is stronk.

-u live on the coast? head inland. get away from bodies of water. 

-have things to do on hand that don’t require electricity. playing cards, books, drawing, tabletop games. that sort of thing.

PT. 2 OH NO STORM IS HERE

-hurricanes coming in at high tide = bad news = worse flooding. listen to news. evacuate if told to evacuate.

-hurricane watch = storm coming in 36 hours or so. hurricane warning = storm coming within next 24 hours

-disconnect all ur electronic equipment if u have to leave and if power starts acting wonky.

-don’t try to drive across flooded roads. no. just no. 

-pls don’t drive in middle of storm. at all. 

-in an apartment? stay on lower levels if u can, in a bathroom or windowless hallway or closet. make sure u kno where ur building’s emergency exits are. 

-mobile homes are the worst place to be in a hurricane. please dont stay there. go to a shelter.

-keep all ur stuff together in a plastic bin in case u gotta hustle somewhere quick.

-have pets in carriers ready 2 go.

-keep ur shoes on.

-wind and rain will steadily intensify

-when the eyewall hits u, its gonna be scary. eyewall is where winds and rain are strongest. stay calm and hunker down.

-tornados can and will pop up in hurricanes. if there’s a tornado warning get in windowless bathroom or closet or cellar or basement IMMEDIATELY. cover urself with blankets or mattresses or pillows. use a bike helmet if u have one.

-it’s suddenly quiet? hooray the storm is over? NO. that is the eye passing over. DO NOT GO OUTSIDE. the wind and rain will start picking up again before u know it. OUTSIDE = NO.

-crazy stuff u might see outside during storm: debris flying through air, rain literally going sideways in one direction and then when the other half of the storm comes, going sideways in the opposite direction. this is why trees will fall. they get wrenched in one direction and then the other.

-we had a pine tree so big three people together couldn’t put their arms around it. a hurricane laid that sucker on the ground. twisted it like a dishrag

-this is probably why its not a good idea to look outside.

-dont look outside.

-stay alert but when the worst is over, try to sleep. 

PT. 3 GOODBYE STORM

-try to get in touch with loved ones and homies. see if they r ok. let them know u are ok. 

-check in with local authorities as well. report outages, flooding, anything that needs to come to their attention. listen for any warnings like contaminated water, flooding, etc. just because the storm is over doesn’t mean the dangers r gone.

-if u are in a shelter, wait until u are told its ok to go home. 

-wear ur shoes or ur wellies or boots if u go outside. use sunscreen. use insect repellent. its gonna be a mess. a hot, bug-infested, wet mess. watch where u step.

-don’t go around downed powerlines u fool. I didn’t tell u how to survive a hurricane just so u can get urself electrocuted.

-stay away from unsteady looking trees or anything that looks like it might fall on u.

-clouds will be in a swirled shape in the sky. wild, huh?

-power’s probably out. use ur generator if you need to, but sparingly. u dont kno how long ur power will be out.  pls do not take the generator inside. fumes will smother u. 

-keep ur fridge closed, open it only when absolutely necessary. same with cooler. if u have any perishables in it, probably good idea to go ahead and eat them or move them to cooler. on average, food is only good at room temp for about two hours. if it smells funky, don’t risk it. throw it out. dont make urself sick. 

-how to make a fire with batteries and steel wool (recommend using outside and please take fire safety precautions. during or after a storm if a fire starts, firefighters will most likely not be able to come help because of downed power line or flooded roads. also why it is risky using kerosene lamps, candles etc. indoors)

-u can also make a simple cooker using rolled up cardboard, a tuna can and melted wax (also use this outside)

- foil packet meals! easy to cook. chop up ur ingredients, fold up in tinfoil, cook over coals or ur cooker.

-woah its a homemade reflector oven

- stay put if u are in no immediate danger. continue to check in with loved ones and homies. remember people will do crazy and bad things in emergency situations. protect urself and those u love. be smart.

-most likely it will be boring. and hot. try to stay cool, stay safe and keep urself entertained until things are back to normal. 

-i’ve been thru several scary hurricanes. it will be ok. u can survive. pls be careful ilu

[yuahrisblog]

ACTORS!AU for FFXV!!

I have so many things in mind, mostly after the end of the game :’’’’’’( BUT thanks to imagination I always think that they are just actors behind the camera SO I HAVE HEADCANONS FOR THEM. This is from another post I made about them being actors XD

Ignis does have a British accent irl

Ravus is ALWAYS the one late to wake up. Lunafreya needed to go to his room and wake her brother up then minutes later she’ll come back Ravus is seated.... SLEEPING.

Lunafreya:  “He has always been a sleepy head. Just look at that hair.”

SPEAKING OF THE HAIR

Ravus would always comb his growing fringes away with his fingers thus making that HAIRDO

Ardyn is the good uncle on the set. One time after the Cup Noodles scene, Ardyn and Prompto went to get some Cup Noodles for everyone.

Ardyn didn’t like the idea of stabbing Luna in the scene

Ardyn: “WHY am I stabbing somebody?”

Gentiana and Luna are besties, would often go to coffee shops together.

ARDYN, GLADIO and RAVUS are best friends IRL.

They even went to PAX East together and played Episode Gladio.

Gladio: “It’s embarrassing to play your game... with people around you... while you constantly die.”

Ravus laughs out loud like Markiplier. A giggly bitch baby.

Ravus will record videos for his fans and post it on Youtube. Yes, he has a Youtube account too.

Ravus: “Good morning everyone! We are here in LA, attending panel and... yeah. Well to be honest we just arrived like 5 hours ago? Had 2 hours sleep so... APOLOGIES if I am a bit crazy. Where’s my fucking coffee...?” Went to get his coffee

Who pranks the most? Him and Prompto.

PROMPTO AND LOQI ARE TWIN BROTHERS IN REAL LIFE

LIKE SRSLY

FRATERNAL TWINS

Verstael is a cool dad, would even pose in a picture with Prompto while Prompto makes a caption “Killing them with my DAD!”

Regis has a PS4.

Aranea is a real life model, would even pose for pictures.

GOING BACK TO PAX EAST THO

Ravus was the one recording the whole event while they were there.

Among the three, Ardyn is the one with a milkshake.

From that Ravus’ death scene, while Ravus was lying down dead, Noctis was trying to be Ardyn or at least act like him.

AND he keeps failing.

Sychrophancy....? Sick-o-fancy? Syncamores?

good thing Ravus only needed to like down there while maintaining his patience.

IGGY was not really a cook. He needed to learn before filming. He took cooking classes and damn he was successful.

“What the fuck is SYCOPHANCY anyway?! An elephant disease?!”

All of them collectively sighs.

When mentioned he was going to be blind in the next scenes, Ignis couldn’t even believe it.

“How am I gonna cook when blind!? Noctis will starve! Everybody will starve! Gladio will lose his muscles and Prompto will end up eating Noctis!”

of course he was joking but you get it.

THEY ALL WENT TO CONVENTIONS; Cosplay conventions, Anime Expo, PAX EAST

Even planning on having a panel in next conventions.

THEY WOULD PLAY ‘WHO IS MOST LIKELY...’

I have so many headcanons tho as you can see and THEY ARE NOT ALL OF THEM. I might make more.

[shadowclarys]

i’m a little late, but i just watched the pll series finale and i’m a little mad and SO UPSET

don’t proceed if you don’t wanna get SPOILERS (although i believe everyone’s already watched it)

i thought it was shit that AD was twincer (alex drake) - mainly because most of spoby scenes in this season, apparently, it wasn’t spencer, so I’M VERY UPSET, which kinda makes me question WHAT SPOBY SCENES IN THE SERIES WERE REALLY SPOBY, so

btw, someone from the cast or the crew (maybe even marlene, idk) - i don’t really follow their tweets/interviews bc i’m always busy af so - said AD was there since the pilot?????? does that mean maybe alex was pretending to be spencer in a scene or more? THEY KEEP MAKING THIS TWISTED GAMES WITH OUR MINDS WHEN IS IT EVER GONNA STOP

and when hanna was hold captive and spencer appeared in some kind of illusion to her, i thought the twincer theory was a good one, but they kinda managed to make it a bad thing for me as i had imagined it would go totally different at that time (if it were real) - the theory started in early s7, so we couldn’t have known it was a real deal back then but i already pictured some things happening later in the series if it were true - btw, it was a good theory back then to me also because then spaleb could be fake BUT NOOOOOOOOO NOW WE WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT WAS REAL AND WHAT WAS NOT WHAT WAS SPENCER WHAT WAS ALEX I SRSLY AM SO MINDFUCKED RIGHT NOW

besides, alex doesn’t really have a motive to torture the girls????? it’s not their fault, not even spencer’s, that she got a terrible life. it’s not the girls’ fault that charlotte died. it’s not their fault that it took so long to find out who killed charlotte. it’s not like they were better, smarter, idk, than the police to figure it out???? WHAT IS THE POINT OF ALL THIS? you could say it’s because she’s insane and just evil but still wtf (and she certainly wasn’t before she met wren and knew about charlotte etc so????)

(ok i don’t remember how jenna got blind after her surgery, but it doesn’t matter, i guess) (this does tho: i don’t remember many things about the series bc a lot happened so i might be wrong about this one, but still) SERIOUSLY, JENNA KEPT BEING BLIND? she was one of the most motivated people to hate the girls, to want to screw them over, etc BUT SHE STILL NEVER ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING AGAINST THEM WITH THE INTENTION OF DESTROYING THEM. she only got in the AD team because she needed money for her surgery, NOT TO RUIN THE LIARS’ LIVES. she even WARNED them (through toby, but still) that spencer wasn’t truly spencer, but a twin sister she didn’t know about until now. ps: ‘i may not be able to see, but i can smell a bitch a mile away‘ will be forever in my heart JENNA IS A FUCKING QUEEN AND SHE DESERVED BETTER

btw, what happened to sydney? they just simply forgot about her lol

i wanted SO BADLY, right from the start, for lucas to be in the A(D) team. we were so close to that, and i was so happy, only to be even more frustrated later in the finale. we didn’t even get to know more of his story with charles, which could be something to make him be a part of the AD team. UGH SO MUCH POTENTIAL WASTED, I’M SO MAD

and let me just add here: that idk where from accent was SO BAD. not because troian isn’t natural from somewhere with that accent or because we’re used to her american one, but it didn’t really add much to the character? it just kept distracting me from the story alex was trying to tell and every word she spoke just made me make an ‘ew’ face.

btw was i the only one who saw RIGHT AT THE MOMENT it wasn’t a mirror AND THAT IT WAS ANOTHER PERSON (obviously, the twincer) when spencer was touching her hair and alex did the same so she would think it was a mirror and bla bla bla? i guess some people might have jumped off when she said ‘boo’ haha but anyways that reveal was epic, i must admit it. not the mirror illusion thingy, i thought it was kinda cliché tbqh, i always expected that if the twincer theory was real, but the ‘boo’ was nice lol

moving on tho, i thought the liars didn’t get a certain end. spoby was just mentioned, we never saw them getting together again. we deserved at least a hug or a kiss scene (after alex was arrested, to be obvious it was spoby). toby was doing that helper thingy and stuff, but he needs to make some money to live????? spencer just got into law school, i mean???? does that mean she’s still living with her parents? ezria had the wedding, but are they gonna get money only from the movie of their book? they should have gotten a definitive job idk. and ok they’re gonna adopt a child, but i wanted to see more of that. haleb got that boring elope AND I WANTED A WEDDING, HANNA IN A BEAUTIFUL DRESS, CALEB IN A TUXEDO, EXCUSE ME, I DEMAND THIS SCENE TO BE SHOT!!!!!!!! emison never found out their babies’ father was wren????? and are they still teaching at the school?

it also doesn’t make sense that alex accepted mona in the AD team after knowing she was the one who killed charlotte, so?????

and IS MONA REALLY NOT IN A SANATORY AFTER GETTING IN THESE MANIPULATIVE GAMES SO MANY TIMES, HOW COME SHE GOT TO LIVE OUT OF A MENTAL HOSPITAL??????? or if that little world of her is actually a sanatory, HOW would they allow her to play with mary and alex? and how would she get a boyfriend? THAT WOULD BE LIKE THE GUY’S ABUSING HER wtf it might be a sanatory, but i think it isn’t, so... and how did she get mary and alex out of prison and locked them in her own ‘dungeon’???????

i srsly think alex and mona should have died, especially alex, but whatever

also WON’T HALEB EVER GET THEIR HONEYMOON???????????

I WANNA SEE EZRIA’S HONEYMOON TOO

fuck, so many cool things from their lives were left out i’m so sad ): i wanted to see emison’s labor, emily holding alison’s hand, the babies’ names (maybe if it were two boys one would be named after emily’s dad, or if it were girls they could name them after other beloved people - idek if the babies are boys or girls smh) the liars waiting outside; i wanted to see the girls making a career, getting their lives together, A PROPER HALEB WEDDING, A PROPER SPOBY ENDGAME SCENE, ezria and haleb’s honeymoons, ugh

EMISON WEDDING REPRESENTING LGBT+ COMMUNITY <3

perhaps ezria deciding to get pregnant through emily’s belly (since she didn’t carry her own children, it would be sweet, you know) or even alison’s

maybe aria’s, hanna’s and emison’s kids playing with each other :3

the only ship that got a full ‘circle’/closure, with a wedding, a honeymoon (even if it wasn’t shown), a future planned and kind of concrete was ezria. haleb got a crappy ‘wedding’ and a (2-second-announcement - if it was even that long - of) pregnancy (i’d like to see caleb kissing her belly, they finding out the baby’s sex, picking a name...), emison got a shitty proposal (although they had some cute scenes, like the picnic one), spoby didn’t even get a kiss, not even a hug, fml, i’m so angry.

can i just say “i'll think of all that might have been” (quoting evermore from batb bc it just fits right in lol - i’m actually crying as i type ‘lol’ tho)

it left us with unsolved things that probably will never be explained (perhaps there’s not even any explanation, since it wasn’t planned from the start and it turned into this gigantic mess with no links at all and no way to be fixed)

the show was supposed to end with answers but all it gave us was more questions

i’m upset :/

[michaelmullet-blog]

One of these days im not sure my heart will grow back,

This always blind sides the shit out of me, Where does it come from, Do you act with me or somthing? Cause everythings golden everything feels great, you are happy im happy, Then you start stressing over other things, then bam out of no where, Its like your being to much your over the top, You didnt say that one night ago when we were playing games together and i was being just the same, But i say one bad thing today and its like ive been fucking up all week and your at your wits end, Where does it come from? did u start to feel for me and scare yourself? I honestly dont get it, Im not here to play games with your mind, I love you, I want to see you happy, You love it till you have a bad day then mikes the bad guy and i just dont understand, if things were starting to get to much days ago make a post tell me hint me, or just message me, but no nothing, Everything is perfect til its suddlnly not, You cant help that we become close, Thats who we are, you didnt break the non dating rule for fun, You see a connection with me, As long as im around we will end up there, thats just how it is, and its not a bad thing, honestly, Im not sure why we cant be close and you still do everything u want, I dont control u i dont tell u no, I dont mind if you want to fuck others, Im not sure where u got that from, Today has hurt me alot, its like the floor i was on is now gone, Ripped out, everything i thought was happyness and good for you is gone, And its all cause you want to push me away, Im not asking to be your boyfriend, But i do want to be close,It isnt a negative thing it doesnt restrict anything how about you try trusitn me and try staying close. See if it actually impacts you you will see it doesnt, but im so respectful of your wishes i try my best., 

its like as soon as u start to feel and enjoy it, it scares you, One day sweet i hope we get that close again and insted u just go wiht it, Cause im not gona hurt you, Im not here to fuck you up.

Time to give u space and just hope things can go back to what they have been these few weeks cause i want you to really think about the negatives, Im not getting hurt, your not getting hurt, I think u ahve this all wrong, i woudl like to srsly talk about it

Like the comment about you saying its your job to make me happy, not once have i ever asked you to make me happy, The only thing ive done is tell you that you make shit better for me, thats not me telling u that u have to do that for me or that its your job thats me saying that your an amaizng preson who has helped me. I never expect you to make me happy or make me feel better, Its never been about that, all i ever ask is that if i have  apanic attack u are there, thats it, besides that u dont ahve to make me happy u dont have to do shit for me, 

I wish and i hope next time you ask me how im feeling before you do this, cause honestly this cut me deep, and i know im not hurt by you ever or oftern this one hurts, i want to have a proper chat when your not stressed aboutthis insted of it seeming like an all out attack on me. cause you made me feel like if i want you to be happy i need to leave your life.

[quirkydesertprincess]

Laments of a former “Pirates” fan

WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG POST Also, only those familiar with the "Pirates Of The Caribbean" series are likely to get any of this. There's something I've needed to get off my chest for some time now. It's a long story, so get ready. Let me start off by saying I really really loathe and resent "On Stranger Tides" on a personal level, and I will try to explain why. Years ago, when "Dead Man's Chest" came out, I found myself truly becoming an avid fan of the series for the first time. The reason? I became one of a number of female fans who fell in love with the character of Davy Jones. (I think it had something to do with the fact that at the time I was going through of obsession with Cthulhu-esque-looking villains) But for one reason or another, I loved him. So, what was the next logical step for any fangirl of my age but to ship him with an OC? And being the person with seemingly unlimited imagination that I am, creating OCs for this very purpose was something I took much pride in. (Pathetic as that may sound, please understand that my real life was also pretty pathetic at the time, hence how I suspect this curious hobby of mine was born) And learning that Davy was said to have had a past love interest (even if she did somehow break his heart) certainly didn't stop me. In fact, my brain already started coming up with ways how that could work with my plans. Of course, I did my best to ignore all evidence that pointed to his lover being Tia Dalma. (A grave mistake on my part, but I didn't know it at the time) Over the course of time between the 2nd and 3rd films I spent much of my spare time (and believe me, I had plenty of it) developing this OC and the story between them. It didn't take me long to come up with her design: Something like a mermaid with a long, coiled serpentine fish tail, long flowing Aphroditeesque red hair, and clad in a golden bra and jewelry. Y'know, a goddesslike hybrid of sea creature and human, combining all the best womanly features desired by many a lonely sailor. She went through a number of different names until I saw in a leak in a review on Fanfiction.net that Davy's mysterious ladyfriend was supposed to have been the sea nymph Calypso. And thus, I chose that name. And it was all the more perfect that the name "Calypso" came to describe a number of beautiful things that I found beautiful and stimmy (Yeah, I'm autistic), the most notable of which was the genre of music, which I had never noticed until then how fond of I was, and I now had something fun to associate it with every time I heard it. This OC and this ship were something I was proud of and for the shitty time my life was going through, it made me happy. And I never saw any danger. I just went with the assumption that Davy's lover would remain a permanantly background character whom we would never actually meet, and thus, was fair game for the kind of fangirl that I was. ..Then, the 3rd film came out. Well, you know how it goes; Davy's lover is revealed (as was the whole backstory between them). And although her name is Calypso, she's not my character. And she never will be. She's not even a new character. She's just Tia Dalma from the 2nd movie, albeit with an extra secret identity added on. Not even her supposed "true form" is anything close to what I had envisioned. (Just a towering giant woman who desolves into crabs) The thing is, I probably wouldn't even care. Except that I had my vision of Calypso first. No offense to Tia Dalma fans, but this is just how I feel. You see, after AWE came out, I didn't just lose an imaginary boyfriend; I also lost a beloved OC. An extension of myself. One that had become a work of art that I was proud of and thought of everytime I was reminded of anything to do with the sea and/or Calypso music. Something that kept me going. The only way I could think of to keep from losing her was to imagine my own alternate version of the 3rd movie, one in which Tia Dalma and Calypso were not the same person, but instead were closely tied with each other in some way. Perhaps Tia, being a shaman, was a loyal worsshipper of Calypso and agreed to let her body play host to Calypso's soul upon the goddess's capture, and would occasionally possess her for short periods of time when Calypso needed to speak? Maybe it was Tia, the powerful mystic, who helpd Davy carve his heart out, and he gave her Calypso's music locket as payment for the favor? (Or maybe that locket was where Calypso's spirit had been confined to in the first place?) And in the scene where she is released, instead of that giant-ass Tia Dalma, I could picture my character, the long-tailed jewelry-clad mermaid being that I created magically appearing on deck and/or taking over Tia's body and turning into herself? Even to this day this idea has never truly left me. Even though it was years ago and my interests have rearranged many times, and POTC and/or Davy Jones are no longer first and foremost on my list, the idea is still there in the back of my mind. Always. And lately, it has been coming back to haunt me. Yet, idealistic a person as I am, even I am not fully able to blind myself to the bitter reality of it all; IT. WILL. NEVER. BE. CANON. I am reminded of the ugly every time I google "Davy Jones" and/or "Calypso", sometimes just to see if I am truly alone out there in my way of thinking. And the result is always the same. Everyone else in the fandom considers Tia Dalma the only Calypso they'll ever get, and they seem to handle it just fine without ever questioning it. So why can't I? Maybe I just made the mistake of, as the saying goes, "counting ones chickens before they hatch"? Maybe I was too hasty in coming up with my own headcanons before the movies' actual canon was finished? I know I obviously fucked up big time, and if I could go back in time and stop myself from creating this beautiful OC I would. Because whenever I think about it, I feel like such a fool. I was not only disappointed, I was humiliated. Perhaps privately, but private humiliation is still humiiation. But what else could I have done? I was young, only about like 20, 21 or so. I couldn't have seen the future. Whatever I should have done or not done. I did what I did I bet whoever reads this is probably thinking "Wow, what a pathetic-sounding fangirl! This person obviously has no life! Get over it! Find a RL boyfriend you big baby, blah blah blah" And putting this all out there in print makes it all look pretty laughable, indeed. But, I've had this bugging me for years, and felt it was finally time to talk about it. Even now, I still am in love with the whole concept I've created. And I really don't wish to part with it. Yet I doubt that other members of the fandom would welcome it so warmly, it being a breach on what every POTC fan knows is official. Thus I would be but the lone nut I've always been. But I don't like the idea of destroying this OC or removing her from the POTC universe entirely, leaving her to wander about homelessly. Srsly, what would I do with her? And I've a feeling that whatever option I came up with would be just a second-guess and thus, would be just not the same. What would YOU do?

[cheerstocrazy]

Dates with Hippie

9/7 Met him from Hinge. We actually swiped right on each other a couple of years ago from Bumble, but I don’t think he remembers, and I only remember bc I stalked him and was making fun of him with PP abt a white guy loving India. He was really eager in conversations with me and replied hella quickly. He even told me I was cute TWICE, when he had never met me in person. He invited me to the mariachi festival at DTSA. I was thinking mariachi?? Whatever, be a good sport. Parking was a nightmare. Walked around bc he wasn’t replying to my texts, watched the mariachi on my own. Started walking toward Wursthaus and saw him, and thought hey, he’s pretty cool, tall, looks abt the same as his photos or even better. Called him to tell him I was there and asked where he was. I don’t think he took it as srsly as he should have. He wasn’t really talking to me?? And was more invested in the performances and also his cousin came, so he was with us the whole time. It was so weird. We weren’t really talking abt anything except what music we both liked. He also seemed to know everyone in DTSA. He went to fix the sound when the girl’s PA wasn’t working. I was thinking wtf, you’re supposed to be on a date WITH ME, talking TO ME. Here you are leaving me alone and talking to other people. My parking meter was going to expire in 90 mins, and I was thinking abt booking it then. I was over watching the girl at the stage, so he said we should go to the mariachi stage to catch his friends. I wanted a drink and mentioned that too….saying I wanted a Michelada. It was 10 bucks, such a scam!! And I was like can we pleaseeeeee go get a drink, I’M DYING!!!! We went to Vacation bar and got a batshit host who talked too much. We got Mezcal drinks, and he was asking me abt my spirit animal, and I straight up said Joanne the scammer. Then he said no, a literal animal, so I said a sloth lol. Then after I heard their way better answers, I was like have you guys thought abt this in detail? I asked what animal is a savage. And they probed me abt how savage I was. I replied: I am the most savage person you have ever met. I’m withholding it rn bc you guys aren’t ready for who I really am. Randal said trust me, you can’t shock me, just be who you really are. That’s what I want to know abt people, who they really are and upfront so I’m not shocked later on. I was like you have no idea who I am. And I’m savage for a reason, you don’t know what my intentions are. You have to know if I’m actually a good person or not, and you need way more context to get what I’m saying. My savagery isn’t from malice, it’s for fun and bc I’m evil. They also insulted me correct gif pronunciation. He asked me abt Jorja Smith. I said I would reincarnate as her. We shit on the govt a little bit, and I said whatever you feel, I feel it 5x stronger. Idr the rest, we left to go back to the mariachi. He saw more of his friends, he was planning on hanging out with his group of friends then he lost them. We ended up going to The Gypsy Den, so his cousin could pee. I also finally checked my phone to realize my PARKING METER HAD EXPIRED FOR OVER AN HR. I WAS FREAKING OUT. I CAN’T AFFORD A TICKET!!!! I ran back to find out someone had put more money in my meter. YOU FREAKING ANGEL!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCHH!!!! The car behind me had been ticketed. I am so lucky. Bless up. There are good people in the universe. He asked me do you have rhythm? I was like with what? Dancing? Yes ofc, I’m not a gringo. I came back and we went to an art gallery. Randall asked me what my thoughts were. Me: I don’t like this art/paintings. It’s all dumb and I don’t get it. We went to this other gallery area and he asked me what my thoughts were on this seemingly Japanese and Native American painting. To which I replied, cultural appropriation. I said I would need more context from this artist to see if he/she really understand the history of these people and how their paintings were highlighting anything abt these cultures. We went into another exhibit, and Idk what lead us to this topic, but I said we need more diversity in art, that goes across literature, music, etc. And that there are a lot of good people in the world, but the bad ones are what you remember. I agreed, but my line of thought was more that the bad have so much power. It fucking sucks knowing I can’t do anything abt it. I said I come from a place of a lot of privilege and I want to lift everyone too. Why do the bad people want to suppress and oppress people?? After this, we wanted to go get drinks but his cousin wanted food, so he FINALLY LEFT, SO WE COULD TALK ALONE. We watched this older group of men perform some surfy music, which was not bad at all. I enjoyed it a lot. It was funny bc everyone stood in this whole ass perimeter away from the musicians. Idky they self-segregated, it made me laugh. If nothing else, this is what I’ll take away from Randall’s date with me. We were laughing at this one lady who was dancing in the middle and recording some of the band. I referenced Kris Jenner’s You’re doing amazing, sweetie, and he didn’t get it smh. By now, he had put his arm around me and was lightly touching me. It was a bit past 10 and his cousin and he were talking abt leaving. He said there was a mezcalero close to his apt, and that I could stop by…...if I wanted, so yeah…..He said it so awkwardly, both his cousin and I were like why’d you have to say it like that?? And he replied, bc that’s who I am...that’s me. Then they both stared at me for an answer, and I said stop staring at me, it’s making me uncomfortable. I said I’d come. Parking was horrible. I drank more than I ate yday. I texted him I was there, and he came outside. We walked to the mezcal bar, and the service was shat bc the bartenders were so busy so he asked if I had heard of the Blind Donkey, so we went there instead. Neither of us had been there before, but it was pretty poppin. We got our drinks and I stupidly walked us back out to the entrance thinking it was the upstairs lmao idiot. We sat on a random couch, but it was too loud, so we moved back behind the speakers. They were playing throwback indie bangers, and I was loving. They played Banquet by Bloc Party, and An Honest Mistake by the Bravery. I was like ugh so good, I was sitting dancing, then when Gorillaz DARE came on, I was like okay let’s go dance, and grabbed his hand. He wasn’t a horrible dancer, could use more rhythm, but he was legitimately dancing and having fun, which is what I appreciate! They kept playing really good shit, then he went to dance behind me and sometimes he would wrap his arms around me and hold me which felt nice. And I think his head rested perfectly over my head bc I’m that small. I turned around at one point and kissed him, and he’s not a bad kisser at all. I liked it/him a lot. 8/10. I expect nothing less than his caliber of kissing...Males should not kiss like wet fish or be sloppy. You guys are all old and have had multiple gfs!!! All I have to say for these 90 minutes was that I had a blast, and it was so much fun, and it’ll probably go down as one of my favorite nights of this year. I’m pretty sure we were the only ones dancing at most points of the night, and I DIDN’T EVEN CARE. I am wayyy too tired to process everything, but I had a ton of fun. I mean the latter half of the night will be part of that best night of the year too. Dancing with someone remotely familiar who knows the music is always a fun experience. I asked to leave to get some fresh air, and we hugged outside. He said let’s go take a walk. Not sure what we talked about, but it was nice to be on empty streets walking around. We held hands the entire time. The topic of drugs came up, and I was saying I understand why people take drugs to cope with life bc it’s so fucking hard sometimes, and it’s so overwhelming. It’s hard to deal with it on your own. It’s so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. It feels like a hell hole. He said something along the lines of yeah, I’ve succumbed a few times. I’ve fallen into a depression and went to sleep not wanting to wake up bc there was nothing going for me. Then we got back to his apt area, and we sat on some random steps. Not really sure what we spoke abt here or what his game plan was. He put his arm around me and we chilled. And I kept looking to the left bc I didn’t want to make eye contact to the right O_O He lightly tapped me on my shoulder, so I turned around, then he immediately kissed me (which was so smooth). He’s a great kisser. I liked his rhythm and style. He does the triple lingering kiss at the end which is my favorite thing. He also caresses me full body which is nice too. I’m not that affectionate...so...I’ll work on that. He kissed me all throughout my neck, shoulders, ears. He’s pretty good. At one point, I put my legs over his leg, and it got more intense. He started caressing my legs and going up my thighs. I told myself I wouldn’t get WGW or have sex tonight. Generally, my hand goes immediately to a man’s crotch and I tried to remain as restrained as possible. Then he started going close to my underwear or over it, so I was like yo, 2 can play at this game. And I already knew he had been hard for probably hours, so I grabbed it from outside his pants..and he was wet already. I rubbed his balls, and I could hear him moaning in my ear. He kept putting his hand through my hair to kiss me more intensely, and all I could think was I’M BALD. DON’T DO THIS TO ME. YOU’RE LITERALLY TAKING HAIR OUT!!! My life is already so difficult ); I think earlier he had asked if I was going to drive home or wanted to stay over, and I said I can drive home. He said good bc he lived in a studio and space was limited. Then ¾ into the makeout session, that was TAKING FOREVER with SO MANY PEOPLE PASSING BY AND WATCHING AND SEEING MY CROTCH FLASHED, he whispered, do you really have to go home, can’t you just stay? I didn’t reply. Then this one guy with LLD who made a lot of noise passed by us, so I stopped and looked at him. He laughed….then later he asked can we go to your car and do this in a not so sketchy spot. We are not 17!!!! You are too big for my car anyway. This is fine--there is space here! At points, we would stop kissing and I hugged him tight and rested my head on his shoulder to enjoy the moment, intimacy, and silence. I almost wanted to say this is nice, thanks. Thank god, I didn’t. I also wanted to pull out my phone and soundtrack this scene to Heartbeats by Jose Gonazlez, but that’d be TOO CHEEZY. One time I rested my head on his shoulder and was closing my eyes bc I was so sleepy!!! He’s like are you sleeping??? Bitch I MIGHT BE. I always thought he would finish kissing me after we ended with our lingering kisses, then he’d come back for more. Finally, I said I’m gonna head out bc I’m so tired. He said he’d walk me. We held hands and he walked me back. I said I still have my gum in my mouth, it’s called talent. We kissed AGAIN at the car, then he squeezed me tight and let me go. Told me to drive home safe and light slapped my ass. I was so tired. I still am. How do I feel about all of this? It was a nice and fun night. Did it beat the effortlessness and ease of convo with Liorr? No...But I generally don’t kiss anyone I kind of like/who has potential on the first date. We made out for an entire fucking hour. Holy fuck, NO WATER, NUFFIN. That’s impressive m8. We hung out for about 9 hours. That’s A LONG ASS TIME. I didn’t necessarily feel an intense connection/chemistry, but that’s bc Idk him. There weren’t any red flags for me. Whenever I expressed my opinion, he would validate it and build upon it which is refreshing considering most guys would become defensive and be quick to strike my opinion down. You asked for it, you twats. If you asked me for a perfect date, it would be either be dancing + drinks at a festival/bar, and I got that. I had a fucking blast. Imagine if I actually had a FESTIVAL BAE. WAH ALL I WANT IS TO BE HELD!!! 

9/13 Date #2 

Initial reactions: I felt so safe, seen, understood. It’s so easy. I’m shook. You know how after Tyler and Hannah’s date, Hannah said “I’ve never felt so respected”--that’s how I feel on a smaller scale. I like this d00d bc he has no ego and actually listens to me and replies directly to what I say. We’re so in sync physically, it’s stupid. It’s so easy to talk to him, and the way he holds me--everything. Kill me, I love his kisses; I love the way he smells. He’s way more romantic than me and so affectionate. I am stone cold, and he makes me not want to be that and reciprocate to maybe ⅓ of his level. Who raised him? They did so well! And all his exes did so WELL IN TEACHING HIM HOW TO TREAT A GIRL AND HOW TO KISS. 

I think I like him. That was probably one of my favorite dates ever, if not my favorite date. It was so easy, relaxed, chill, low-key. He said he was leaving for HB early, and wasn’t texting me afterward, so I was kind of hesitant if he actually left or not. I was thinking, “What if I get stood up? Whatever, I can drink at the beach by myself. NBD” He did reply and said he was parked which made me feel relieved. I got out of the car and saw that he was parked and walking toward me. I’ll never get over how tall he is. He surely is taller than 6 ft!!! We walked toward the beach, talked abt our day. I saw that there was a patrol looking car driving along the street we were walking. It was a trash truck, and it was emptying/putting new bags along the walkway. We walked away, and somehow it would always end up behind us. Whatever. We mostly talked about drugs and his experiences with it. I opened a beer too while we talking. He talked abt his preference for psychedelics. He said he did acid while in India with a girl he met up with whom he had hooked up on and off for 3 years back when he was younger. He said the conversation they had while on acid was the reason they were able to maintain a friendship afterwards, otherwise that would’ve been over. Hmmm, cryptic. We finally got to the benches/tables I wanted to sit at, and I said my boots were hurting (which they were). It was pretty wet, but I put down my blanket for us to sit on it. We talked a lot abt his experiences traveling in Sri Lanka/India. I wanted to know more abt Sri Lanka and how he traveled there. He also said India is his favorite country and he wants to return again next year. I asked him what’s the pull for India? Why? He explained to me he liked the duality and chaos, the mix of wealth and poverty, there’s always a lot going on, etc. I said it’s so strange for me to hear someone who loves it so much when my experience was so different and frustrating. I talked abt the instance where we almost got sexually assaulted. He replied: yeah, sorry about that. That’s horrible, I can’t imagine how it is to travel as a girl there. I really appreciated that response. How many guys in the world would be able to apologize, validate me, and empathize? Maybe 3 people. When we sat next to each other, he always rubbed/caressed my back, and they were really good massages tbh!!! When I was telling my India story, he didn’t really do that anymore, sensing the urgency and conflict to come in my story. And Idk when he did this, but we were talking and he ended up resting his head on my shoulder leaning back into me, and it was so cute, I nearly died. I hadn’t been touching him or doing anything. He seemed to feel really comfortable. We talked a lot abt his marketing agency bg, and we talked abt being laid off and what we did after that. I think we were in this weird intertwined position. He hugged me from behind, and he was sitting to my left, but his head was on my right shoulder, so I leaned opp way..and he replied so basically we did the same shit and ran away, diff times. I told him I had the same birthday as Donald Trump and I could relate to him when I was 12 bc I’ve since grown up. When I was 11, I told a kid who stood up on a chair, “be careful not to break the chair!” My teacher, Thompson smh and was like Natalie, you can’t say shit like that. Hippie said he was never in a position to be a bully bc he moved schools when he was in 4th grade from Mississippi to Louisiana. He said he was a hillbilly and spoke with a different accent. I asked him what kind of accent it was, and he kept saying oh man, Idek how to do it anymore. Saying I reckon etcetc, and I laughed bc I hear that only in shows/movies and from British people. He told me I smelled nice. I said, “You do too! I can’t pinpoint the smell tho.” Him: I did shower! He said it’s probably my conditioner. I smelled his hair, and it was def his conditioner. He said when he was working at his agency, he was considered the nerd there bc he played video games and was weird, then he said when he went to work at Blizzard in Irvine, he felt like a jock bc he has interests outside of video games. I can’t even imagine how dweeby everyone is there. He kept saying how tough this year is for him, but he feels like with the changing of the seasons, fall feels like it’s gonna be better (I BETTER BE A PART OF IT). I was starting to get worked up abt my job and complaining, so he said we don’t have to talk abt work anymore and kissed me. We kissed for a long ass time, and he told me, “I really like kissing you.” I replied “I like kissing you, too.” Then he said something like, “I could just sit here and kiss you all night, it’s ridiculous. I especially love your bottom lip. It’s so *insert adjective I can’t recall thick? Juicy? plump?* He kept playfully kissing only my bottom lip, and it was so cute UGH KILL ME. He kissed every inch of my body, legs to arms, head to toe. HE KNOWS HIS WAY AROUND ;_; He kept telling me I was so cute. He asked me if we could go back somewhere, but I said none of us live near here. Funny tidbit: He fingered me (and it was really smooth and FUCKING GOOD. I think our sex would be incredible) then he when he ended, he licked each finger, and he said, “Damn, you taste so fucking good. Weird compliment, but it’s true.” I laughed. I was wearing my high-waisted shorts, and he kept trying to unzip from the front, and I told him the zipper is on the side. He asked why the belt was in the front? “Aesthetics.” He was super hard, but I didn’t want to go thru the trouble of unbuckling his belt and unzipping. He said you know you can undo my pants. So I did...and he asked if I could do it with one hand. And in my head, I was like BRUH PLS LEAVE IT TO THE EXPERT. During this period was when the trash picking up man kept going back and forth behind us making so much noise. I was like srsly??? WE’RE DOING STUFF HELLO. And people were walking at night too. It’s 2am!!! Why wouldn’t you walk during the daytime??? We hugged each other during these moments and laughed. It was a full moon this night, so the beach was so gorgeous and illuminated. When we finished, he said “I should put my dick away.” It was def above average and kind of long??? At the end of everything, when I was folding up the wet blanket, he came from behind and hugged/held me, saying you’re so freaking cute. We stood there and idk what to do but it felt so nice, safe, warm. *cries* He kissed my neck and did the sideways kiss (which I always find super fucking awkward and unromantic), but it was totally sweet and natural with him. I really relished the quiet moments between us. Then we walked back and were talking abt the govt, economics, and corporations. He and I agree on everything so whatever I said, he’d say too. He walked me to my car and we said bye. He held me and kissed me for an extended amt of time. He kept doing the lingering kisses and I couldn’t bring myself to leave. He’s my favorite kisser for sure. I remember thinking “not to be dramatic, but his kisses could bring world peace.”

9/18 Date #3 in Orange

There were so many things that annoyed me before the date. So he said hey I have the apt to myself, come hang out. I thought I was going to Long Beach. I think I worked a 10 hr day, and was like fuck I have to haul ass up to LB now. GREAT. I texted him I was headed out, then he said he was going to an open mic night in Orange. And I was like well wtf, we made plans and you’re just telling me this now? He always tells me things so last minute. I HATE IT. 

Initial thoughts: I don’t think we’re compatible with each other. I don’t think we’re at the same points in our live bc I’ve just come out of my crisis (it’s been a year), and he’s in the thick of his. I don’t think he has enough security in his life to take on another human. And that’s fine--I’m not even needy (ok kind of) but self-sufficient. Not only is he not ready to be in a relationship, but I don’t think we want the same things right now either or have enough common ground. He’s into playing live music and his music collective; he’s spiritual, into yoga and rock climbing. I’m not into that at all. He’s going to a festival for a while, and it’s all spiritual meditation/yoga, which is my fucking nightmare. He never asks anything abt me. It’s mostly me asking questions and getting to know him. Maybe he was having an off day yday. He literally said “I need a place to live 10/1...and ya that’s not going” I’m pretty level-headed abt this, but also I don’t want to be with someone (even if it’s casual) at their best or normal self. I don’t want to be a burden or carry the weight of their burdens. Is that selfish??? I’m realizing this may not be in and taking it in stride. It doesn’t have to be a permanent thing or even something that endures. It could be temporary idk. I’m tempering my feelings for sure. I don’t think I’m the girl for him. I think I’d be a stabilizing force for him and a good ear to bounce ideas off and someone to whom he could vent, but what’s in that for me? I’m learning to be more selfish, not just with my standards, but what I get out of these things. I didn’t have as much fun this time as the last 2, but the bar was so high from the last 2. We can’t always be our best selves, but I’m always my best self when I’m with someone new. Interesting tidbit: He told me the first time he cried was 2012 to Brokeback Mountain. The moment I knew I wasn’t it: He described his dream house/living situation..He said he only wanted to live with musicians and wanted a spare room with a studio to host jam sessions, playing sessions, which is not to say he wants that exclusively and can’t like other things. But I’m so faaaaaaar from that and any other of his passions. I think he’s so invested in music and has tunnel vision with that, that he only wants to be surrounded by other people who want that, too, whereas most normal musicians have non-music friends too. This is me maybe assuming, but I think I’m astute. At the end of the night, we hugged bye and it felt so weird, and I didn’t know what was gonna happen. Bc the entire time, it felt like I was pulling out teeth to keep the conversation going, and he was so aloof and withdrawn. I would cater the convo to topics he liked, and he would give me depressing answers that took me aback. Like when I asked if he snowboarded, he said no, that could hurt my legs. He was so trite. Talked abt his ACL surgery, everything bad that he had experienced….I heard abt it. It was draining for me to listen and keep up a positive attitude and maintain any semblance of levity. At the end, he hugged me, told me to have fun, and have a safe drive out to Vegas. He held me for a bit, so Idk we ended up kissing. It felt empty. He dropped his skateboard and hydro before he kissed me, kind of clunky, kind of funny. I left feeling discouraged and frustrated. 

[survivorpanem]

EPISODE TWELVE - “I CAN’T COMPENSATE FOR STUPID PEOPLE“ - JAKE

Okay, oh my god. Oh my god. I cannot believe I just survived that vote I'm so glad omfg. I flipped someone who flipped on me I'm SCREAMIng. Idk what you call that but I call it ICONIC. I pulled out ALLLL the receipts to Sam trying to show her why she couldn't trust Isaac and Andrew and why I was the best person to keep. Truthfully, I don't know who would've been her best option to keep, but I needed her to think it was me. So yeah, that was successful, tru. I couldn't flip Isaac like I wanted to, but idk I mean it's probably better that way because it gives me a reason to vote for him and for him to vote for me if I make it to the end. So like I think I have a plan to make it to at least f4. I'm playing my idol this week. Sorry but the blind week is just not working for me, sorry not sorry! I'm gonna use my vote negator on Isaac, and have Sam use her extra vote on Isaac, and have Sam and I vote Isaac. Then have Zack and Sam B vote jakey. That way the vote will be split 3-2-1. If Isaac plays an idol then Jakey goes. If he doesn't have an idol boom he's gone. And I'd tell Isaac I'm voting jakey and Jakey I'm voting Isaac that way at the end of the vote, either way it falls I could tell them I told the truth lmao. I'm playing my idol because in the long run I can't really trust anyone completely like I did that round, I mean Sam flipped when I never expected her to. So like if Isaac plays an idol on himself or wins immunity and Sam and I vote him and like Sam B flips on us and votes with like jakey to take out me the vote would be 2-1 and I'd go home! And a bad, disgusting, but possible even if unlikely scenario would be if Isaac/Jakey won immunity and the other played an idol on themselves. Or who knows they could have stuff from the cornucopia???? Okay so then, at f5 it'd hopefully be Zack, the Sam's, Jakey and myself. I truly do not think Jakey has an idol, I'd be shook if he did when like he was barely online. So like my plan would be for all of us to simply just vote Jakey. That brings me to f4, where I could at least hopefully go to firemaking, but I believe everyone in this f6 is better than me at comps, except maybe Isaac? But I think Isaac needs to go next for sure. Ugh. But yeah I mean that always leaves a possibility for people to vote me out at f5, and there's always the possibility of an idol... I'm gonna try to think about the likelihood of people voting me during this blind round, with all the risks involved. But I think it's a huge risk in itself to not just be safe and play the idol on myself, especially after the heart attack I got from this last tribal. SPEAKING OF THE FUCKING HEART ATTACK ZACKS FUCKING ASSHOLE SELF GAVE ME A PANIC ATTACK!!! He messages me right when tribal council is starting and is like "I'm so sorry" BITCH?? I was like omg what did you vote me and he's like yes I'm sorry but Andrew gave me a better offer you're more of a threat I'm so sorry I didn't wanna tell you on call (Sam B and I had added him to our call after I convinced her to reflip). And I freaked tf out! I was like wtf omg I couldn't even type my hands were S H A K I N G and I couldn't breathe and my heart beat so fast yo it was so bad like omg how fuckin lame is that how gross! And like I couldn't even curse him out in the main chat properly LMAO. Like I'm dyin Zack is so annoying omg lmfaooo oooh he had me fucked up! I think the best person to sit next to come f2 (I'm basically just certain it's gonna be a f2 now which is so ugly bc it decreases my chances so much) would be Sam B just because of how she flip flopped on this vote. Like she was a way bigger threat before the vote but now idk. I feel like Andrew and Isaac would be scorned jurors but eh who knows ugh. I hope the upcoming immunity challenges will be luckier for me despite zacks wild ass comp abilities omg. Ugh I just hope all their threatening competition winning asses take me to the end ugh. But I am glad that I'm at this point in the game with a cast that I love..and zack. JK ZACK ILY HNG. But yeah

Okay I'm pretty sure tribal is in an hour and nobody has talked to me at all. Guess I'm leaving tonight. That's what I get for being a flop ass bitch and flipping and then flipping again on the revote. It's been fun panem.

welp... i guess isaac is stupid as fuck? lksjdgdlfkjh srsly WHO are my ALLIES... HELP!!!! these ppl suck god even worse than i do. so my plan for this round is get sam b and isaac BACK TOGETHER god... and then flip zack to vote out sam g... which i kinda set up last round when i told zack that i'd vote with isaac to get his trust. im still playing zack and i dont wanna go to the end with him but i dont wanna go to the end with sam g or jc either so like... an ideal f3 would be me sam b and isaac. lmao. everyone sucks idk why sam b voted andrew out like god these people are stupid. idk i dont think ill win immunity since its like luck. but christine goddess got me an immunity advantage so thats nicee. im not telling anyone about that shit! it's a blind round which is fun!!!

Okay so I have a little idea brewing in my witch pot brain....what if I go around this week "confiding" in people that I have the idol. Like, I'll start with Sam G and then move to Zack and maybe tell Sam B and maybe even Isaac. I want to tell them because I'm going to be playing my idol this round almost without question...but since it's a blind week none of them will know that I'm playing it! Then come f5 hopefully the remaining people are Zack, the Sam's and Jakey, and all of them would still think I have an idol that I'd most likely be playing on myself, which means none of them would flip on me. As for jakey, I wouldn't tell him I have the idol but hopefully Isaac would've told him after I told Isaac which would make things even more believable if it's coming from another source, so jakey might not even vote me. Idk I think that no matter what people are going to vote me anyway, so there's no harm in adding a possible larger target on my back with this idol if it also has the possibility of protecting me. Not only that but if I confide in people, who knows they might have an idol and confide in me too! Also, I'm going to tell Isaac his best chances of survival would be to vote Jakey. Because if I negate his or jakeys vote and we split it 3-2 that means if Isaac has a vote, he could vote jakey and tie it 3-3. Or, he could be dumb and throw his vote away to someone else. And who knows, on the revote we might keep Isaac, if he stayed loyal maybe it'd be smart to keep him especially because he's not as good at competitions unlike jakey, and it relieves the threat of such a goat (baa) like Jakey. But at the same time he's very good with his words and shit so at f5 he might be able to conjure up some magic to cause drama and flip a vote idk. But I could always keep on persisting saying if Isaac does make it to FTC he deserves to win because we let him make it there when we had majority. This is gonna be an INTERESTING week, know that!

Later...

Okay so I've been strategizing and thinking, and like that whole idea of revealing I had the idol and whatnot and like I don't think it's worth it seeing as it gets revealed that an idol gets played...but idk maybe it's worth it? I don't knowwww. I could always tell them I'm playing the idol tonight, discourage them from flipping on me, but then they'd be like tf why you playing an idol? I might just be a crazy bitch and risk not playing my idol again LMFAO. That'd be so wild. But I think if someone else plays an idol I most definitely would. Yo I wish I had a map of the arena for every bitch left in the arena because after last round I learned you can't trust no bitch! Ugh but like I feel like things will be so much easier if I can just wait til next week to play my idol, what are the chances bitches are gonna flip on me again /right/ after flipping on me last week. Like you'd think they'd have the courtesy to at least wait til the next round, right?? Right????? Probably not. This is allstars after all. Ugh. I need to think of who I want to play my map of the arena on, like who would be the smartest person??? These are the pressing questions.

Later...

Sam G has a map of the arena? INTERESTING. Immediate reaction I'm so happy because this is going to clear up soooo much paranoia. But I am a bit confused because I thought that only one map could be purchased per round, so it wouldn't make sense that she got a map this round because I have the map this round!!! Omfg now Sam B approached me about voting out Sam G, I'm SCREECHING. Like the level of shook I am rn is 10/10. I think it'd probably be smart to take out Sam G since I might be seen as her sidekick or something, but I don't think it'd be smart to do it this round. And not only that but if I did make it to f2 with Sam I feel like I could showcase how I wasn't just second in command but made moves and decisions that she didn't necessarily want like the a Brian and Liana votes. And I got the idol from her clue. Yeah I do think this round it's smartest to vote out jakey, then next round could be either of the Sam's or Isaac. If I can keep my idol until next round like its seeming possible to, then I don't even necessarily have to worry about who comes into f4. Except I do have to worry in that I don't want my ass heading into a firemaking challenge!! I've said it before and I'll say it again, everyone else left in the game is a bigger challenge threat than I am so like?? Fuck. But I think if Sam G comes in to f4 with me they'd be more likely to vote her out over me which is better for me hng. Let's say jakey does leave this round (fingers crossed bih), then  who would I want with me in the f4? I feel like my best case scenario would be the Sam's and Zack, because the Sam's may vote each other and Zack may vote with me hopefully. If Sam G goes home this week, that'd leave an opening for either Sam or Zack to flip with Isaac and jakey, and even though I'd have my idol to protect myself for f5 and take one of them out, I'd still have to worry about f4 and fighting another in a fire making challenge. Idk this is all totally assuming Zack wins like every single immunity too like I'm expecting him to. LIKE ZACK IS AN IMMUNITY QUEEN, GODDDD. But nah damn my girl Sam B is trying real hard to put a move on her jury resume. She's really worried about getting second place again, and I feel her, I don't wanna be last juror again, and I especially don't want to lose this season after everything, so I get her dilemma. But I have to do what's the very best for my game, and I think that's voting out jakey. THATS JUST MY OPINIONNNN (insert that's just my opinion gif). But yeah I gotta keep my eye on Sam B 👀

Whew I almost forgot to do a confessional because I had the sappiest dumb confessional ever but I decided not to send it and thought I did. So anyways here's my confessional... I can't believe it tied because Isaac couldn't make up his mind. I feel really bad about Andrew but the more I think about it the more I shouldn't care. He never really talked to me at all about this game until his ass was on the line and then when I tried to help him he still threw his vote to me when it could have gone to someone else in case Jaiden played an idol. So this vote is the last vote to play anything I'm pretty sure so IF THERE IS AN IDOL it'll probably be played tonight. I'm playing my extra vote and my second map of the arena (I love my sponsors honestly <3) and Jaiden is playing his vote negator. If the two of us vote together the worst thing that'll happen is that we tie and have to vote again. Hopefully everyone's telling the truth but I don't know this whole merge has just felt too easy. I know there have been a few snags but I don't know something about getting here has felt too easy and I'm too calm so I feel like I'm about to get blindsided tonight. I really wanna make it past tonight though because then I'll beat my Atlantis placement!!

I am soooo torn. Once again. Okay so I am in a 4 person alliance with Jc, Zack, and Sam G. On the other side, I have a final 2 with both Jakey and Isaac. I want Sam G out. But nobody on her side wants to go after her. And there are no numbers without them. That alliance wants to split the vote tonight with 2 on Jakey and 2 on Isaac. What they don't know is that Jakey is playing his idol so his votes will be cancelled. Isaac and Jakey are voting out Sam G, but Jc is using his vote negator on Isaac so it'll just be 1 vote for her. So left we have 3 votes: mine, jakey's and jc's (because jc is voting isaac and zack and sam g are voting jakey which will be cancelled with his idol). Confusing, I know. So Jc and I are supposed to vote out Isaac, and Jakey is voting for Sam G. However I have the opportunity to flip (again) and vote out Sam G. This is what I want. But I am sooo worried about Jc and Zack finding out. Idk how the blind tribal will go, if they will announce that Jc is cancelling a vote or if Jakey is playing an idol. I feel a lot more stress than I did the last blind tribal, that allowed my target to leave and let me keep playing the middle. But this one is definitely going to hurt that. My dream scenario would be Sam G leaving and nobody knowing I flipped and then I have the option to choose between Jc and Zack or Isaac and Jakey. I am praying for this next immunity. If I don't leave tonight (you never know in games like this). I wish I had an idol, or even better a super idol. But I'm just trying to really rely on my social game and my gut at this point. I hope it all works out. And I'm also worried about a vote sneak of my vote just because I did flip last week so I seem untrustworthy, which is why I am going to wait until 3 minutes before votes are due to submit, just so nobody has time to switch their votes to me, if they haven't already done so. Yikes I am nervous whew.

stupid #1 - isaac do i even have to explain like Why did he vote for sam b when she was literally flipping to us ?? i'm like... i can't even process this bc how can i play a game with people like him like it's impossible i can't compensate for stupid people stupid #2 - sam b oh god this girl is a mess. i cant believe she voted out andrew just bc she was mad at isaac or whatever. like yeah he's fucking stupid but u just ruined your own game?? she can't beat jc sam or zack so idk what the fuck her goal is. she's also fucking stupid and if i wasn't drunk i might have knocked some sense into her stupid #3 - zack taking immunity from me even tho he didn't need it and painting a huge target on his back for no reason and fucking over a tight alliance he had with me... it's like do these people even know what survivor is??? how did u pick this "all stars" cast honestly kass voice id like to see that data stupid #4 - sam b honestly who is this bc she never talks to me and i try so hard to start a convo with her and she's just so boring god. apparently her own alliance wants to vote her out so what's her deal??? stupid #5 - Jc he's the least stupid bc honestly i think he's playing the best game out of everyone so i hope he wins if i can't at this point. but i'm not giving him too much credit bc he's only here bc certain individuals are literally STUPID and that is all

Later...

i think im going this round! bc zack is an idiot lmaoooo but whatever cant wait to vote for JC to win!!! lol this game is so boring and literally they all suck. im playing on idol paranoia and the fact that i have finals all of this week and have no time to play immunity but yeah it doesnt look good. Yikes.

UGH IM SO #PARANOID WHY DO I KEEP HAVING THE IDEA OF NOT PLAYING MY IDOL WHATS WRONG WITH ME I SHOULD JUST PLAY IT BEFORE MY ASS GETS CHOPPED FUCK

My favorite thing is how Jc and Sam G have convinced Zack that he has a chance of winning. He hasn't done anything this whole game besides been Jc's lapdog and win immunities like bye.  So this round the other side is splitting it's votes against me and Jakey and expect us to vote against each other so the expect the vote should be like 3-3 but Jc is negating my vote apparently so it's 3-2 but me and Jakey are voting Sam G so it's more 2-2-1 and Sam B isn't voting me and is voting Sam G so it should be 2-2-1 but Jakey also has the idol? So it should be 2-1 with Sam G going home hopefully. I don't want to give up playing this game I've worked too hard for too long to give up. This confessional is really choppy and is bouncing from one topic to another, sorry. I don't understand why Jc wants to keep Sam G when she's literally going to win if she gets to the end. The bitch had a successful idol play. Like?

I'm so sick and just want to go to bed but these fucking bitches had to pick tonight of all nights to try to blindside me. Now I gotta do work

hieeeee! SO. its revote time and i know what i'm doing! but anyways.. i still have my idol and if i use it on me next round im guaranteed 5th place (i think?) so hi WIG! let me go revote now.. this has been a long ass round.

If I'm gunna go I'm going out swinging! I've always tried to stay nice and polite while people are voting me out just in case I can flip but obviously these people are fucking dumbasses and I hope my favorite player ever JC slits all their throats and gets to the end

Later...

ifvdjskd so apparently Isaac and Sam B locked in their votes for me and Zack already said he'd go to rocks so like if JC doesn't go to rocks for me I'm gunna be so mad because I would go for them! If Zack is willing to go to rocks for me and JC isn't Zack 100% has my vote in the finals if he's there even if he's against JC omg JC BETTER DO THIS FOR ME