#((there was more but the flying bear only attacked. :p))

[sufficientlaughter]

I love it when you have a DND session so cool your DM and you decide to make a song (we wrote ethe lyrics) to show how cool it was.

[chaotic-fandom-writer]

Adam x Reader P.1 (Hazbin Hotel)

Warnings: Heavy cursing, violence, adult themes

Chapters

I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII

Extermination day was never easy, nor fun. But you fought nonetheless. You would do anything to keep your friends and the hotel from being exterminated.

Today was a harder one than usual. You noticed they seemed to be sending more and more angels down every year, making it nearly impossible to hold your ground anymore. Maybe it was your hood and mask, or maybe it was all the attacks, but you were out of breath quicker than usual, too.

You were doing okay, until an angel came from behind, knocking one of your daggers out of your hand. Mind spinning, already nearing exhaustion, you turned and ran as fast as you could, fully aware the angel was gaining on you quickly.

You turned a sharp corner and dropped into the cellar doors of one of the shops nearby. You could hear the angel go past, holding your breath and waiting extra long, just to be safe.

After you finally catch your breath, you ran outside, ready to fight again, only to see a brilliant burst of light come crashing down on you. You barely managed to jump away, looking up for the source.

Horrified, you realize where it came from - Adam, the leader of the angels.

Of course he's the one who happens to find me.

You mentally curse your own luck before jumping again, avoiding more of his strikes. "What's with the fucking mask? You some kind of bimbo robinhood bitch?"

"What the fuck does that even mean?" You laugh, not even sure how to process the insult.

"Fuck you! That's what it means!" And more strikes. You jump again, seemingly irritating your attacker.

"Hold still, bitch!"

You laugh, and run into a nearby shopping center, running up the stairs to the second floor and hiding in a shop.

You had no weapons, aside from one small dagger, and honestly, that didn't look like it could do much against the literal leader of the angels.

"Where are you, slut?"

God, he's a real charmer, this one.

Slowly, you start to creep around the shop, trying to get a better peek, when suddenly, you take a wrong step, and the fragile, crumbling conrete gives way underneath you.

You let out a scream as you fall from the second floor, landing flat on your back in the shop beneath. You gasp for air, ripping the mask and hood off of your face.

Adam appears before you, his cocky grin suddenly faded. You tense your body, waiting for him to attack, but he does nothing. He stands there, staring at you.

"What's your fucking problem?" You ask, looking away, somehow unable to bear the sight of his gaze anymore.

He says nothing, instead walking slowly over to you. You scoot back as far as you can before your back hits the wall.

Looking up at Adam, you squeeze your eyes shut and turn your head away as he reaches down for you.

Suddenly, before you know it, you feel his arms lift you up. But before you even have time to process that, you're flying through the roof of the building and into the air.

Unable to speak, you gawk at the sights below you, flying at insane speeds in Adam's arms. He stops at a tall building, dropping you on the rooftop.

"It's almost over. Stay here until we leave, or you'll get killed."

Before you can even respond, he flies off into the distance.

"What the fuck?"

--

It took you a while to climb down the building, and even longer to walk back to the hotel. The asshole had really taken you far from the battle site.

You wearily walk up the steps of the hotel, swinging the door open and collapsing at the bar.

"And where the fuck have you been?" Husk asks, pouring you a drink.

"I don't even know dude." You slam your drink, and he pours you another one.

Another voice chimes in. "What do you mean, 'you don't know?' What happened?" Angel Dust now joins you at the bar.

Sighing, you explain what happened, also gaining the interest of Vaggie and Charlie.

"That's.. strange. I don't understand why he wouldn't just kill you. He's kind of notorious for that." Vaggie says, a confused look on her face.

"Maybe he felt bad?" Charlie says enthusiastically. Husk snorts at this. "Maybe not." She says more quietly.

"All I know is, I'm going the fuck to bed." You stand, slamming your last shot before heading up and turning in for the night.

--

What you thought was a random, strange occurence, ending up turning into a yearly routine.

Every single year, the angels would come down for extermination, lead by Adam. And every year, he began to seek you out, snatching you off the streets and dropping you on the top of a random building.

Every time, you fought, kicked, and screamed. You demanded, yelled, cursed. But still you recieved no answers, only "rescues" you weren't asking for.

This year would be different, you decided. You were going to fight him back, and demand to know why the fuck he kept doing this. It didn't make any sense, and you deserved answers.

You had a plan. All you had to do was stand in the open, and wait.

Sure enough, Adam came flying down. You could see his eyes sweep the crowd, before landing directly on you. In the midst of the chaos, nobody else ever notices him swoop down and grab you.

You played it up like you always do, yelling at him to let you go. He did the same as always - ignored you.

As he neared the top of the building, you suddenly grabbed onto his wing and bent it as hard as you could, earning a loud CRACK.

"FUCK! What the FUCK!" Adam shrieks in pain, dropping you onto the rooftop and collapsing alongside you.

You grab daggers out from under your shirt, and begin wildly slashing. Despite his wound, he recovers quickly, fighting you off.

But he's not going anywhere with that broken wing.

The both of you jump backwards. "Adam. Tell me what you're doing. No more games!" You scream.

"You broke my fucking wing, you bitch!" He yells back.

"ADAM! No more games!"

You lunge at him again, tackling him to the ground, stomping the heel of your shoe down into the broken wing. He screams, but holds tightly onto both of your wrists, keeping your daggers away from his face.

"Just tell m-"

You're suddenly cut off by a sharp pain in your chest. You gasp for air, looking down and seeing the tip of a blade poking out through your shirt.

Through your chest.

"NO!" Adam screams out, cradling you as you slump off of him, now the one on the ground.

Behind you, Lute stands looking confused, holding onto her bloody blade.

"LUTE! What the fuck?"

"Sir, I thought -"

"FUCK!" Adam screams, holding onto you.

You simply smile, aware of the life draining away from you.

Before you die, all you can manage to say is,

"At least the game is finally over."

--

All you hear is a loud POOF! and suddenly, you're awake, standing, and feel no more pain.

Standing before you, angels. Surrounding you, more angels. White, white everywhere.

You look down and see yourself in elegant white clothing.

"What the FUCK?"

"Welcome to Heaven!"

--

Don't forget, I'm always accepting requests!

Chapters

I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII

[chimachapterbooks]

The Sleepy Croc - From the Attack of the Hunters activity book

Laval looked out of the cave mouth at the frozen land all around. The world of Chima was in the grip of cold and snow and only he and his friends could hope to return things to normal. To do that, they had to figure out a way to defeat the Hunters.

But first...

"Can somebody wake up Cragger... again?" the Lion said, exasperated.

Ever since the weather had turned cold, Cragger the Crocodile had been falling asleep all the time. Cold-blooded reptiles prefer warm days and nights, and cold temperatures make them slow and sleepy. These days, Cragger was making Bladvic the Bear seem like a bundle of energy.

"I did wake him up," said Eris. "He stretched, yawned.... and fell asleep again."

"We need to move out," growled Worriz. "Throw a blanket on him, tuck him in, and leave him."

Laval shook the snoring Croc

"Cragger! Wake up!"

"Hmmm? What?" said the tired Crocodile. "Just five minutes more, Mum."

"Cragger, it's me, Laval! Get up! We have to get moving."

"Right, sorry," said Cragger, struggling to his feet. "It's just this c-c-cold. It just makes me so..." He paused to yawn. "Sleepy."

"We need to find a way to keep him awake," said Eris. "Well never get anywhere if he keeps falling asleep."

"I could tell him scary wolf stories," said Worriz, with a grin. "He won't be able to close his eyes all night."

"Hey, it's easy," said Gorzan. "Put some bananas under his nose. Nobody can stay asleep when they smell bananas. We should go get some bananas."

"There's no time for this. More of Chima is freezing every minute," said Laval. "We'll have to figure out a way to keep Cragger awake along the way."

The team set out. Icy winds chilled them to the bone as they fought their way through snow drifts and slipped and slid across fields of ice.

Eris and Razar flew high above, keeping an eye out for Hunters.

Razar was the first to spot trouble up ahead. "Eris, what's that in the middle of the lake?"

"Um, I think... oh, no, it's Plovar!"

Plovar was a little bird who spent most of his time hanging around with the Crocodiles. He called himself their 'dentist' and dived into any open Croc mouth he saw to clean their teeth. Amazingly, none of the Crocodiles had tried to eat him, at least not very often.

Now he was in considerably more danger. He had somehow managed to get trapped in the ice in the centre of a big lake. While Razar flew back to get the others, Eris tried to free Plovar:

"Come on, come on!" Eris said, as she pulled Plovar.

"S-s-top!" Plovar said, shivering. "My n-n-eck is getting s-s-stretched!"

Just then, the rest of the team made it to the lake. "Hey, Plovar, what happened, dude?" asked Gorzan.

"I was f-flying and I saw this very attractive bird down below. I flew closer and realized I was seeing my r-reflection in the water when the ice c-closed in on me," Plovar replied. “Can somebody get me out of here?It's c-c-cold!"

Laval thought for a moment. Then he shook Cragger awake. "You're going to have to save Plovar."

"Me?" Cragger said, in disbelief.

"Yes, you," said Laval. "The ice that's holding Plovar needs to be cracked. When it does, whoever is on it will wind up in the water. You're the best swimmer here."

"But I'll fall asleep on the way to get him!" Cragger protested.

"P-p-please, Craggy-wag," Plovar called, shivering. "I'm f-f-freezing."

"All right," Cragger said. "Just don't call me 'Craggy-wag'. I hate those nicknames."

Hesitantly, Cragger made his way out to the ice. He could already feel the cold starting to make him sleepy. But just as his eyelids were closing, Plovar shouted out again.

"H-h-hurry up, Craggily-waggy!"

Cragger's eyes flew open and he grumbled. "I told you, stop with the nicknames."

Little by little, Cragger moved closer to the trapped bird. Once, the ice cracked underneath his feet and he fell into the water. He struggled back up onto the ice and kept going.

Fighting the cold and the urge to sleep the whole way. But every time his eyes began to close, he would hear Plovar shouting, "Craggster! Rise and shine! No sleeping on the job, Craggmeister!"

By the time Cragger reached Plovar, he was both incredibly sleepy and incredibly annoyed. That made him an incredibly angry Croc.

"No-more-nicknames!" he shouted.

He raised his fist and smashed it down into the ice that was holding Plovar. It shattered into crystals.

The bird was free! Before Plovar could drop into the water, Cragger grabbed him.

When they made it back safely to the shore, Bladvic hugged Plovar to warm him up. "I w-wish I c-could do s-something to say thank you," said the bird.

"Oh, yes, you can," Laval answered, smiling.

A while later, the friends continued their journey across the snowy landscape of Chima. But this time, whenever Cragger began to fall asleep, Plovar would fly right up to the Croc and yell as loud as he could:

"Wake up, Cragginator!!"

And from then on, it was never a problem keeping the sleepy Croc awake.

———————————————————

I made this because of how much I like fun animal facts

I might update these photos with better quality I was just was really excited to get this out

[ariswolfram]

18,903 P. D., Ejaren the 21st

Timeline: E//M37AL-$0£!¢

The sudden betrayal had left Naerkorvathennen and his men surprised, though it was to be expected. Dealing with someone such as the Angel of Death isnt the smartest of things to do. Either way, one shouldn't dwell on the past when there is a fight to be had. Thousands of men battle in the lower levels of the spire, while Naer stands 30 paces away from the Angel of Death at its top, knowing full well he isn't going to win. The battle is of equivalence to a rat fighting a bear, if you gave the bear drugs.

"Naerkorvathennen..." The Angel of Death walks toward him with a visible goal in mind, spreading tattered black wings in a glorious display of fear.

"You actually said my name right... almost honorable." He cracks his neck, magenta threads of magic weaving throughout his form.

"Your death will be anything but." He pulls out a shotgun and aims it at Naer' firing off three powered rounds toward his center.

Naer' flicks his wrist, causing the threads to lash out and form a barrier between him and the shots. The Angel fires off three more rounds at the barrier, before shooting one in the air. The last shot in its sequence glows a fiery red and flies toward Naer' at a doubled speed. Naer' gets flung back by use of a shimmering hand yanking his shirt, though not far enough, as the shot shatters the ground and sends him flying from the detonation.

as the shot shatters the ground and sends him flying from a detonation.

as the shot shatters the ground and sends him flying from a detonation.

as the shot shatters the ground and sends him flying from a detonation.

as the shot shatters the ground and sends him flying from a detonation.

The Angel of Death cries out, "STOP THAT!"

as the shot shatters the ground and sends him flying from a detonation.

The Angel of Death cries out, "STOP THA- YOU IMBICEL!"

Chains of ichor wrap around Naer's waist, pulling him toward the Angel who is equipping a scythe. A network of threads form a ball of arcane glyphs around the two combatants, slowly draining of its magenta color to a shimmering silver.

Time outside the bubble pauses as the Angel swings his blade at Naer's neck. Naer' forms two balls from grey nebulas, and wraps them around the blade, causing it to swing through his neck as if it didn't exist. Naer' wraps a hand encompassed in ice around the back of the Angel's neck, and slams his face into the floor repeatedly, causing time to skip backwards every time the Angel of death almost escapes.

Between skips, the Angel screams out, "IM- GOING- TO- EAT- YOU-"

Naer' continues. The barrier around them glowing more vibrantly, "I taste like Sulfur, only demons would find me palatable."

The barrier splits along a seam, each (new) half rotates in opposing directions from one another. Silver sparks and lightning arc out from the seam to strike the Angel, who has just enough reaction time to deflect the chronomantic attack back toward Naer', striking him in the chest. The time stop falters and ends as he slides across the ground.

Curled in a fetal position, he speaks, "What do you get from this?"

"What do i get?" He cackles manically, "I GET TO TAKE THAT FUCKING WATCH FROM YOU! THEN I GET THE TIMELINES!"

He looks up at the Angel just as his clawed hands grip Naer's neck, lifting him up.

"I'll take the Major, and reorder time. Ive already got the attack set up. You can't–"

"–Man, your boring when your evil."

"... You dare interrupt–"

Naer' fucking yawns, "You just don't understand this, don't you? I don't care about your whole ‘quest for infinite power’ shit. You understand how cliché of a plot hook this is?"

"Cliché?! How the fuck is this cliché??"

"Lets see," he starts counting on his fingers, "You betrayed me and took my people. Your on some wack-ass quest to take everything over AND gain infinite power—as if taking shit wasn't enough. Plus, you have no humor, no personality, no interesting features whatsoever. Your practically a blueprint for a bad villain."

"Thats not true—"

"Your holding me by my throat, in the air. And just said ‘i will take that watch from you and take the timelines’..."

"... I didnt say that exact—"

"—That doesnt matter... what matters is the fact you are boring as hell when your evil"

"... why do you keep saying that?"

"Keep saying what?"

"‘When your evil.’ The fuck does that mean?"

"... And your an idiot as well... what fun"

"EXPLAIN WHAT IT MEANS!"

Instead if responding, Naer' crushes the time watch.

The timeline ceases... then Shatters.

[kickingitwithkirk]

La Princesse Vierge

Pairing: Pirate!Sam Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 5296

Warnings:  pirate ship attack, cursing, show level violence, p/v sex, fingering, cunnilingus, a pinch of dub/con

Squares filled: @spnkinkbb -Hair Pulling @j3bingo - “Can I kiss you?” @spnaubingo -Pirate AU  @spnmixedbingo -Sam @winchesterandbeyondbingo -virgin @anyfandomgoesbingo -Bodyguard AU @howbadcanitbebingo -Magical Healing Cock @anyfandomdarkbingo -aquaphilia @witchsambingo -solitary witch

Winchester brothers art inspiration and here

A/N: Thank you to @justagirlinafandomworld and @b3autyfuldisast3r for helping pick bingo squares inspiring this story

A/N II: Once again, brevity is not in my vocabulary

*divider by @firefly-graphics

*No Beta-all mistakes are mine

The sound of men shouting and heavy thumping on the timbers started me from my slumber and by the time on the carriage clock, it was pre-dawn. 

I barely had the sash of my robe tied when the cabin door unlocked flying open and my guardian rushed in, still attired in his night clothes, hair askew, shouting something when the first cannonball slammed into the ship's hull making me stagger. 

Righting myself I pushed past him making for the main deck and finding it in chaos when I emerged from under the poop deck. 

The British officers rushed around me barking orders, crew climbing the rigging to secure lines on the yardarm that had been damaged so the sails didn't fully collapse as the ship shudders from the pounding it’s taking and our cannons returning fire.

I made my way onto the forecastle and froze seeing a dark, ominous, and easily twice the size of our ship flying a Jolly Roger seconds before it fires again.

The blast hitting near the waterline knocks me off my feet. 

I scurry to the closest railing wrapping my arms around one of the spindles can barely understand Captain Barrows shouting orders from the helm as he turns the wheel, maneuvering the ship so the sails can catch more wind and will allow us to outrun the significantly heavier ship.

The captain finished spinning the wheel only to realize he’d steered directly in line with another ship, equal to our attacker's size, bearing down fast upon us leaving him no choice but to call for the white flag of surrender to be raised. 

The air is thick with cannon smoke and tension as grappling hooks fly over the port side sinking into the wood and dragging us towards the first ship as the second comes along starboard pinning us between them. 

Planks are extended allowing the marauders to come aboard with guns and cutlasses drawn, rounding up the crew and disarming them. I was led to stand off to the side with my guardian and officers awaiting the pirate captain's arrival.

During the time we were waiting the raiders methodically unload everything of value from the ship's stores as their quartermaster takes inventory against the ship's manifest and paused speaking to a burly pirate, who’d been silently observing the going on when a handsome, sturdily built man made his way across the deck to them.

He’s taller up close, clad in a well-worn ensemble; cropped dark blonde hair under a wide-brimmed, woven straw hat, a jerkin over belted thigh length, open tunic showing smooth skin covered with a dusting of cinnamon freckles, made more prominent by the Caribbean sun, below the knee trousers, hose and and and tall leather boots.

Watching him converse with the burly one I felt envious of his full lips and long lashes when his verdant eyes drifted over to me causing several of the officers to attempt closing ranks to hide me only to find several guns pointed at them to stop. 

I definitely glared directly when the man’s wicked chartreuse eyes framed with long, thick lashes traversed my scandalously underclad body, blatantly staring at my breasts and smiling in an unsettling manner.

 “Looks like we’re gonna get some fun after all Benny.” 

That’s when my guardian pushed forward and said the stupidest things, “how dare you..you pirate pig! When the king hears about this..”

“Stop flapping that tongue or I’ll do it for ya,” Benny threatens in a bastardized French accent reaching for the knife hilt protruding from his boot when the other slaps the back of his hand against his chest and calmly remarks in his deep, gravelly voice, “relax Benny, let's hear what the man has to say before you collect another trophy.”

My guardian's eyes boggle when Captain Barrow spoke up. “Take whatever items you wish then allow us to proceed to our destination.”

The quartermaster points out something in the manifest to Benny made him grin, take it and drapes his arm over the other's shoulders.

“Deano, the rougir mariée is King George’s niece, Countess Y/L/N, heading for her nuptials to the prestigious Governor of Antigua and lookie..ol’ George sent a dowry.”

“Dean Winchester?” 

The Captain's eyes widened as there was a restless murmuring amongst the offices, many seem to lose their resolve realizing who had captured us.

“The one and only,” he smirked, canting his head to the right, “ya’ catch who we have the honor of being in the presence of Sammy?”

Captain Barrow follows his line of sight and standing a few feet away a man blocking the view with his tremendous height and breadth of shoulders is tapping long fingers on the hilt of a cutlass. He is clad in the same manner as this Dean except for a jacket and the open tunic reveals his golden-hued, moderately-haired, muscular torso. 

The subtle sea breeze stirs the ends of his longish, chestnut streaked with coppery tints hair, tied back under a tricorn hat is without a doubt the most incredibly striking man I’ve ever seen.

“It’s Sam,”  he emphasized in a deep, honey-whisked voice, ”and we mutually agreed not to get sidetracked again, we’re already late for our rendezvous.”

“Aww, don’t be like that little brother. Gordon will understand when he sees what the king's benevolence has sent our way.” Dean crooks a finger at me, “come here, wench.”

No man outside the King had ever dared speak to me in such an impertinent manner makes my spine stiffen and Dean’s eyes narrowed, not pleased with my defiance came over grabbed my wrist jerked me out of my indignant repose.

I soundly slapped him.

His eyes boggled for a brief moment then drew back his arm and I closed my eyes bracing for his physical assault. 

It never came.

I cracked one eye open and gasped; hovering scant inches from my nose was his fist enclosed in the much larger one of his younger brother.

“Do you realize the amount of trouble your impetuousness has brought upon us, big brother?” 

Dean twistes his hand lose and stepping within earshot lowered his voice, “you think the kings gonna get pissed over losing her? She’s obviously not of much value since he refused her her rightful title.” 

I blinked in surprise. 

Dean presents himself as a common pirate but even out here in the middle of nowhere has contacts within the court who supply information of the goings on of the Palace. 

Dean gestures to Benny for the ship's manifest, “look at her dowry, this ship's stores have more monetary value.” Sam took the book, its pages made his lips turn downward. 

“Old George’s marrying her off as a reward to some bureaucrat instead of brokering a new alliance by marriage with France or Spain, so his loss is our gain. We could make quite a bit of coin selling her to Zachariah.”

Benny interjected, “ya’ brothers right on ‘dis one cher. Zachariah be willing to pay handsomely for royal blood, even outta favor. Plus being a vierge makes her a more délicieux morsel to offer up.” 

Sam hands the manifest back to Benny as his uniquely colored eyes traverse over me and I feel a sensation of pleasure?

I found myself sitting on a water barrel on the deck of this ship, The Charger after Dean lost some strange game called rock, paper, scissors.

Over the horizon, I can barely make out the longboat, with what was left of Captain Barrow's crew (and my former guardian) rowing away while his ship sunk into the fathoms wondering if it would’ve been a kinder fate to have gone down with it.

Sensing someone I turn to see an innocent looking young man wave at me.  “Hi, I’m Jack, the Captain requests that you join him below deck please.”

The please surprised me, “and if I refuse?”

Jack's face turns serious, “you don’t want to know what happened to the last person who did that.”

~~~

Captain Winchester and his first mate, a short, older man named Crowley, are hunched over a map table barely gaze up at my arrival, continuing on with their discussion. I take the opportunity to look around at the spacious, well-organized, not cluttered with ill-gotten gains, cabin. 

There's an oak dining table seating six, a rolltop writing desk with several rolled documents lying neatly on it, and strangely, a bookcase running along the wall nearest me followed the progression of its various volumes, so absorbed I stumbled face-first upon an overly large bed realizing these are the Captain's personal quarters.

“I’ve never had a woman fall into my bed enraptured by my literature.”

Embarrassed by my oft-clumsiness making itself known, trying to maintain some semblance of dignity, “well, it is truly impressive,” peering up to find myself staring straight at his..”cock?”

“Now I have had many a woman say that.”

I dropped my face back into the bed feeling a blush coursing from my toes to the top of my head when he burst out laughing, gripped my arm, and hauls me upright. I knew he was big and, though I am not as delicate a specimen as a lady is expected to be, he is massive this close.

“Let’s start over by properly introducing ourselves,“ he steps back, bowing elegantly, “Dr. Sameul Winchester, previously personal physician to the Governor of Montauk, currently captain of The Charger.”

My mouth dropped, “how does one go from such a prestigious profession to..”

His lips, how does a man have such pretty pink lips, quirk, “a scourge and scallywag of his majesty's providences? It started when my father was accused of treason.”

A vague memory of an overheard conversation tickles the back of my mind, “your father was Sir John Winchester, the shipbuilder?” 

“He was part of a consortium that found out several of the king's advisers were in cahoots with Spain during the War of Succession.”

I remember the turmoil that conflict caused for years as he poured an amber liquid into two goblets and hands me one.

 “I lodged a complaint through the governor about his innocents. Subsequently, I was arrested and found guilty of insurrection against the crown.”

“That is outrageous! If the King was made aware of such a miscarriage..”

“It was all done on the Lord Chancellor's orders,” Sam bitterly bit out sitting at the table's head, “spent the next two years at the oars.” I sat down in the chair next to him sickened, having heard rumors about the Lord Chancellor, knowing of what deceptions some would resort to for power.

“I was then auctioned off to a plantation owner and worked at the grindstone when the niece of the island's governor did me a favor. I spent the rest of my time as his personal physician before several of us orchestrated our liberation.” 

“We hid out for months on uninhabited islands Crowly knew from his time on a naval ship in these waters caught wind that Dean had escaped England, ironically on the first ship our father had constructed, The Impala.”

He stared into his cup, “it took another five months of dodging his majesty's navy before he found us and now,” he gestures with one large hand, ”I’m captain of the last ship our father built.”

He studied me with a clinical eye asking, “is what Dean said about your circumstances true?” 

I read in his handsome feature’s anything but the truth wouldn’t be tolerated and took a sip from the goblet to help steady my resolve wheezed from the strength of the spirits made him chuckle. 

Catching my breath I told him the abbreviated version.

~~~

King George I had an ongoing, private feud with one of his siblings, my father, for over two decades.

Upon my birth, the King refused me the title of a princess and instead granted countess as a slight to my father, rendering me almost valueless despite my prestigious lineage. 

Out of shame, my father sent me to live at Hatfield House, saying it was for my health and despite my family’s wealth, I grew up rather poor.  All household accounts were paid by my inheritance, adjusted for my lower rank, thus explaining my minuscule dowery. 

Five months ago, an envoy from London arrived announcing my marriage to the governor of one of his Majesty’s Caribbean provinces and after weeks of preparations my appointed guardian and I boarded Captain Barrow's ship bound for the Caribbean.

~~~

Captain Winchester, Sam, he insists I call him, gave me an unreadable expression before laying out some rules while aboard his ship; I had access to the main deck as long as I was accompanied by Jack, Crowley, or himself, otherwise confined to his quarters we’d both be sharing. 

I was scandalized, it wasn’t that I’d never shared a room before, I had with my governess, but to do so with a man I wasn’t wedded to, if anyone got wind of those arrangements, it’d malign me in society. 

Vehemently objecting I went a step too far in telling him when one overly large hand grabbed my loosely plaited hair and yanked me sideways I felt a strange but not unpleasant sensation traverse through me, a mixture of fear and pleasure.

He tightened his grip and said, “hate to break it to you princess, what you want doesn’t matter. My ship, my rules.” Keeping our eyes locked leans so close I could feel his rum-spiced breath caress my lips when a loud banging on the cabin door interrupts. 

He shouts what, listen to the message relayed, and, with a growl, releases me standing up unabashedly adjusting his engorged member before storming out, slamming the heavy oak door behind him.

When I’m able to feel my legs I shakily cross to the wash basin pouring some water into it and, in a very unladylike manner, dunk my face trying to compose myself but wasn’t helping, every fiber of my being hoped next time he manhandled me, he wouldn’t stop.

Captain Sam Winchester has proven to be a dichotomy and discombobulates me to no end!

Publicly he acts like a well-bred gentleman, even granting privacy when attending to my personal needs, then does a complete turnaround when his brother comes aboard, reverting to the crudeness associated with pirate ilk. 

During the evening meals, the rum flows freely and so does both brothers' lips, especially Dean's. I have had to resist the urge to punch his smug face, plastering on the polite smile I would fake at court when his conversation became pugnacious towards me. 

The last straw was when he indiscriminately pissed in a chamberpot and I fled, mortified, as both brothers laughed. 

At least Sam has shown discretion when it comes to his privy moments but proved true to his words with the other arrangements. The first night I’d made a pallet on the other side of the table, it was the furthest point with some semblance of privacy, instantly fell into an exhausted slumber. 

I was startled when he flung off my blanket and gripping my ankle dragged me across the floor screaming bloody murder when the cabins door burst open and his first mate charged in with pistol drawn.

Crowley assessed the situation and had the audacity to be amused at our tableau; Sam standing over me clad only in his breeches, my nightdress ripped, hanging off a shoulder with the hem bunched up around the top of my thighs barely covering my pudendum.

 “Might I suggest gagging her if she's going to protest your romantic overtures Moose, some of us need our beauty sleep.” 

“Fuck off Crowley!” 

“Oh, I intend to, dreaming about this,” and with a wicked grin, left and Sam returned his attention to me. “I told you we’d be sharing this room; that includes the bed. Get up and get into it now!”

With what decorum I could muster clutch my ripped bodice warily getting up, and edge around him ordered me to stop handed me the shirt he’d been wearing, “I don’t want you fussing with that torn rag all night.”

Turning so I had a semblance of privacy I gasped upon seeing his broad back littered with whipping scars move closer, lightly rubbing my fingers over them flinched and spun seizing my wrist. “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have been subjected to..I have never condoned such treatment of anyone, no matter what.”

Not saying a word he shoved me towards the bed and I obediently climbed in mentally bracing myself for what was to come when he climbs in the other side and lays down with his back to me.

 “Good night, princess.”

Sleep eluded me for a long time, my mind occupied by this man sleeping next to me, like none I have ever met, and cannot figure out what game he was playing.

Six days later 

I found myself sitting on the beach of some obscure island half-listening to the brothers' conference as Gordon, whom I had taken an instant dislike to, scrutinized me.

Pressing my lips tight together, I vehemently try but cannot suppress my chortle over the item sitting on a crate in front of me any longer.

“What the hell so funny women?” Gordon snaps. 

Lifting my chin from my hand peer over at the darker-complected man, my senses tingling, warning me something about him is all wrong.

“I was wondering,” getting up to dust the sand off Jack’s spare breeches Sam insisted I wear in case we needed to make a quick exit, “if they know what the translation of bолшебный исцелеющий петух is?” 

The Winchesters exchanged looks, “seriously? Neither of you speaks Russian?”

Gordon’s eyes narrowed, “keep quiet or I’ll remove your tongue.”

Little did he know such threats would not scare me, they were nothing compared to the Kings during one of his fits of displeasure.

“The literal translation is Magical Healing Cock.”

They wore matching bewildered expressions, “it’s used in magical practices to help channel sexual energies of the participants while they are,” I made the crude gesture learned from Dean indicating a certain sexual act.

“What the..magical sex..how can you..you’re a virgin!” Dean stumbled out before turning on Gordon, “you lying sonuvabitch, thought you could cheat us!”

Gordon moved quickly, wrapping an arm around my neck placed his pistol against my temple, using me as a shield.

“Since we can’t come to terms, I’ll take the virgin as compensation, she’ll bring me quite a bit of coin at Le marché des esclave AHHHH!” 

Gordon's scream echoed across the beach when I sliced his arm with the engraved silver blade I was given years ago. the whites of his eyes disappear revealing what he was before the beach erupted into pandemonium. 

The Winchester's men engaged Gordon's crew in a bloody battle as I struggled to escape his hold saw the brothers simultaneously fire their pistols and felt one iron ball pass my cheek embedding into that bastard's face as the other enters his chest, his dead weight dragging us down.

But instead of dying, Gordon pinned me under him, wrapping both hands around my throat heard Dean begin reciting, “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica. Ergo, omnis legio diabolica, adiuramus te..” 

Gordon looked up and flicked a hand sending Dean hurtling towards the treeline and Sam continued, “cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque æternæ perditionìs venenum propinare, Vade, satana, inventor et magister omnis fallaciæ, hostis humanæ salutis..Humiliare sub potenti manu Dei; contremisce et effuge, invocato a nobis sancto et terribili nomine..”

His voice choked off from the invisible force constructing his throat I managed to wheeze out, “quem inferi tremunt..Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, Domine. Ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos!”

Gordon's head snapped back, his mouth exuding thick, black, sulfuric smoke plumes outward before penetrating the sand, the heat solidifying it into a jagged ring of black glass. The demons infesting his crew also smoked out to save themselves.

Benny checks Dean's bleeding head and helps him up, slapping his shoulder. Sam inspected my person, finding me uninjured except for finger-shaped bruises on my neck.

“Is this where the rogue pirate asks the princess can I kiss you?”

The surprise flickering across his face at my flippancy made Dean laugh, “alright princess, where the hell did you get that blade and learn to exorcize a demon?”

“My governess was from these islands. She passed her knowledge of the supernatural, and the blade, on to me.”

“Looks like the vierge is worth a lot more than I assumed,” Benny grudgingly remarked.

We spent the rest of the day split into groups:  I helped Sam attend to the injured, Dean led a group to search Gordon’s ship for anything worth salvaging while the rest gathered the bodies, rowing them out to deposit onboard setting it alight before sailing away.

In the pre-dawn light, the ships anchored in a deep water cove of another remote island to lay low for a few days, a chance to rest and recover plus replenish the water casks and some perishables. By late afternoon the necessities were squared away.

A tired-looking Sam had me gather bath sheets and a change of clothing while he grabbed some bread, cheese, and a small, tied bag, placing everything in a burlap sack then we boarded one of the longboats headed for shore.

He led us along a hidden path inland and noticed my fascination with the sight and sounds and began telling me the names of brightly colored birds, strange animals scurrying into the bush, and exotically scented flowers. 

My babbling with delight at finding fresh fruit and mint amuses him, gathering the fruit that’s out of my reach, and starts describing the variety of drinks and dishes they are used in to ward off scurvy..once a doctor.

I picked some of the mint leaves, added a few to the canteen, and began chewing on a couple when I heard running water follow the sound enter a secluded area with a small waterfall feeding a clear pool.

“I found this years ago, the waters are safe and no nasty critters to contend with,” Sam informed me, sitting the sack down on one of the flattened, water-smoothed rocks surrounding the pool digging out the small bag handed me one of the soap cakes.

The one thing I hated the most after leaving England was the inability to cleanse properly, especially my hair, for weeks, only allowed a cursory wipe down daily from the one water cask I was allotted. 

“We won’t be disturbed so take as long as you like. I’ll be on the other side,” he pointed to a grouping of bushes, “and able to hear you.”

Spending the night covered in sand, ash, and blood I wanted to tear my clothes off and dive in instead hesitantly asking, “are you still planning on selling me to this Alistair?”

“I haven’t decided.”

“Keeping me would be advantageous for you.”

Sam leaned against a Bannon tree crossing his arms, “explain to me how keeping you would be advantageous?”

“One-thanks to the King, no one will miss me enough to cause trouble. Two-thanks to my governess, I’m knowledgeable about artifacts and other things that are not Christian, thus exposing Gordon's attempted deception. Three-thanks to my tutors, I speak six languages, well seven, if you include Latin, which saved your collective arses from those demons.  Four-thanks to my intended marriage and what you liberated from Captain Barrow's ship surpasses any monetary value you would make selling me.”

I had learned when Sam partially opened his mouth and rolled his tongue he was considering whatever was presented and decided to up the ante.

 “And five-you. You find me attractive, and would it not be far safer having me in your bed than those doxies of Tortuga to tup?” 

Sam frowned, “what do you know about doxies and tupping?” 

“Did your father never take you to court?” 

“No.”

“The King's court is riddled with some of the best whores in the world. Many were sent to France to train as courtesans and are encouraged to implement their charms to curry favors or seal deals. Several of the queens ladies-in-waiting educated me about copulation while avoiding the maladie française and pregnancy.” 

Sam’s throat rapidly bobbles at that tidbit.

Slowly moving towards him asked, “did you know that royalty isn’t permitted to bathe by themselves? It was always someone’s responsibility to ensure their personage is disease free.” I stop a handbreadth distance and fixate upon his chameleon eyes, “as the only person qualified, it falls upon you to continue monitoring my health.”

He moved so fast. Suddenly I was pinned between his well-muscled chest and the tree, his long fingers roughly tangled in my hair creating an exquisite pain jolting my core.

“Are you only offering to evade being sold off?”

“Maybe.”

  “If I were to keep you, you would be completely under our command.”

 “Please, what do you mean by our?”

“My brother and I equally share everything, this includes women.” I shuddered at the thought of being with his brother, “would you also share me with your crews?”

“No, Dean and I are possessive of our dames entretenues. Do you understand what that entails, princess?

“I would appreciate explicit clarification.”

“Explicitly,” Sam pulled my head to the side leans so close I can feel his lips against my skin as he spoke, “you will be warming one, or both, of our sheets every day,” he continues, “participating in whatever sexual gratification we desire.” I mewl when he bites down hard enough to leave a mark on the juncture of my shoulder, “unless it is time for your flow. Is that clarification enough?”

“Yes, captain.”

“Yes Sir,” he corrects.

“Yes Sir.”

Sam released me, “take off all of your togs.” 

Unabashedly he removed his shirt, “you pointed out it is my responsibility to keep you in good health so I need to examine your physique before engaging in relations charnelles.”

I had little to fear sleeping next to him the last few days but now at the prospect of what is going to happen, I felt trepidation while sliding off my trousers when Sam’s bare feet and calves appeared in view and he lifts my arms, gripped the hem of the shirt and pulls it over my head casting it off. 

Sam wasn’t the first man I saw in the altogether but still felt myself blushing fiercely at both of us taking inventory of everything on display, reminded of the old adage of proportions and a man's appendage undeniably true for him.  

Taking my hands he walks backwards into the warm water till I’m waist-deep then undoes the tie holding back my hair says, “take a deep breath and submerge yourself.” 

I resurface momentarily panicking at Sam’s overly large hands on my head, feeling his fingers lathered in soap cake, massaging my scalp, strangely soothing and exciting, like when he pulls my hair. 

After rinsing he handed me the soap cake, wetting himself then moving back knelt down on his knees in shallower waters.

I had washed my dogs when they came in muddy from the fields but never another person rubbed the cake between my hands then tentatively ran them through his locks, silkier than I’d imagined a man’s hair would be. 

When my short nails scratched his scalp, his muscles twitched and I trailed my fingers over their contours, tracing the scars decorating his skin and felt his breath brush my cheek moving towards my lips I dropped my hands, confusing him.

“I did not verbally agree to those terms,” maneuver back into the water call out, “I have some stipulations of my own,” and swam to the falls. 

I heard him curse and look back, unable to find Sam when he emerged from underwater lifting me onto one of the flattened rocks stood between my spread legs annoyed.

“What makes you think you’re in any position to negotiate terms?” A gentleman would endure only so much, and I had pushed my luck and his patience.

“I only have one. I do not wish to be shared with your brother.” Sam’s mouth downturned,  “something happened to him, it caused an unsettlement..it scares me,” suddenly I am very aware of how naked, not only physically, I had made myself.

I leaned back when Sam placed his hands on either side of me and brought him a bit too close, “what do you know about that?” 

“My governess figured out that I knew things about people just by being in their proximity. It’s why she taught me about the otherworld, said I had been born cursed and if they learned of it, they would come for me someday.”

Sam’s shoulders dropped and his expression saddened, skipping the worst details of what happened to Dean when he was under the tower, the darkest place to be imprisoned, run by a true connoisseur of medieval torturers, Alastair. 

I reached up cupping his cheek putting his focus back on me and tentatively brushing my lips against his he reciprocated, gently caressing mine when I felt his tongue and surprised open up, he inserts it, tangling with mine, showing what a real kiss can be.

His lips following his hands trailing over my bare skin makes me shiver and release a nervous giggle, I feel him smile against my neck, nipping the delicate, bruised skin and I tip my head back as he continues exploring.

At some point I find myself lying back on the rock, eyes closed, an absolute mess while he licks the water off my skin only to have his hair rewet the area and starts over again.

His long fingers brush a sensitive place inside, has me on the edge of needing something I cannot name, and every time I try descending into it, Sam stops and returns to teasing my nipples, suckling gently and twisting between his fingers. 

Jesu, how can a man have both; hands so violent and tender, lips harsh and caressing, at the same time feel a deep aching rising again, can almost taste it then, once again, halts touching me smugly asks, “still want to renegotiate the terms?” 

“Fuck you!” I yawp in frustration.

Sam’s expression changed to irate and bracing myself for the worst he leaned in..amused? 

I could only blink owlishly as he scans my prone form, lewdly splayed before him, chameleon eyes settle upon my pudenda licking his lips trailing fingers downwards over my heated skin inserting three into me, rubbing over that place dipping his head his talented tongue sends me over the plateau, and, without warning, lifts me up off the rock.

I find myself filled with his substantial membrum virile, waters churned up around us, not from the falls but his vigorous thrusting, now appreciating my thorough préparation for Riding St. George felt his muscles tauten, buried his face in the crook of my neck groaning out his release. 

My vaguely functioning mind is amazed after such a strenuous physical excursion he is still holding me in his arms, walks us to the shore, and sits with me clinging like one of the strange creatures explorers write about felt him silently chuckle. 

“Seems I missed learning a lot about ladies by never attending court,” I peer at him puzzled.

 “Dean will be pissed, he was looking forward to using this,” his fingertips trace the outline of my mouth, “for more than your verbal vitriol. Now I’ll have to sweeten the pot so he will forget about you with that very special pistol he’s been wanting.” 

“Are you saying what I think you are saying?”

“I agree to your counteroffer, princess” 

SPN TAGS: @donnaintx  @lyarr24  @flamencodiva  @b3autyfuldisast3r  @lassie-bird @nancymcl  @spnbaby-67  @leigh70

Sam/Jared:  @idreamofplaid

Dean/Jensen:  @thoughts-and-funnies  @stoneyggirl2  @akshi8278  @beabutterfly987 @smoothdogsgirl  @siospins2

[izzy-b-hands]

had. the weirdest dream/nightmare/clearly a cymbalta dream bc i went to bed stone cold sober lmao

it involved:

me getting partial top sx but 'we only took abt six months of growth off' (?????????????????!) so it left me with like. p nice b cups actually. with the note that if i wanted it flatter later, i could come back and they'd take more out.

ngl that made me wake up super fucking chest dysphoric, but what are ya gonna do

then i was getting this done somewhere else??? but needed to fly home and v much did not want to bc: worried abt the sx results and being in the air?? and also just my usual flying anxiety lol

i really wanted to go by amtrak instead, but any time i tried to pull out my phone and buy tickets someone random would tell me to keep moving?

which led to me in a hotel with taika and rita, who agreed to help me get on the plane and not immediately have a panic attack

(v sweet of them, thank u dream taika and rita, tho at that point it was implied they were the ones who agreed to look after me after the sx? unexpected, but lovely all the same bc otherwise it was clear i was more or less on my own)

Between there and the airport

(this v weird one that featured in past cymbalta dreams, v gorgeous but definitely Fucked Up in that it has a Langoliers airport vibe to it kadnfnfn)

i got separated from them briefly, given a large dark brown teddy bear? that i was told to take with me but that i might have to buy two seats for bc 'his ass won't fit in just one' or so i was told by some random guy (continuing ?????????)

Which i dropped back off at taika and rita's hotel room bc literally it was as big as me so carrying it was not working

only to get trapped in what i was told was this huge empty locker room/bathroom that was presumed unisex

(this has also featured in a past cymbalta dream, and it's hands down one of the creepiest locations bc it goes on for halls of like. change stalls and some doors are closed with feet underneath them, but if you open the door no one is in there)

only to go change bc ???? and have some girls flip out abt me being in there as a trans guy

they chased me out, and somehow i was back at the airport with that fucking bear, finding out that the boarding time had changed and they'd forgotten to tell ppl, so we (taika and rita just suddenly showed up out of the blue, no idea what the fuck they were up to) were a good fifteen minutes late but taika was like nah they know ur scared so they held the plane and i had to go no, no i don't think they did bc that wouldn't work for like. anyone else on the plane but that's a really sweet idea

then suddenly we get pulled into a hall where they explain (they being what i think were security guards) that this elderly famous comedian is dying and they need someone to keep an eye on him for a minute would we mind?

they disappear into the fuckin air so we don't actually get a choice and like. watch him die. laying in a weird star trekesque bed thing that, for reasons unexplained, was made out of the darth vader suit

anyway

he dies, we all get weirdly emotional abt it despite not actually caring abt him, it was just like. super traumatic hearing an extended death rattle (I've heard it before but still) so i think that fucked us up

ended with taika asking if i really wanted to get on the plane bc we totally didn't have to, and both him and rita comforting me while i had a sudden sobbing fit into this poor big pain in the ass to carry this ENTIRE TIME bear

(final thing implied was that we were in some poly relationship bc they did both kiss me and sorta. wrapped me and the bear up in cuddles sitting on airport lobby chairs together. it was v weird yet v nice, idk.)

then i woke up with my body so tense it gave me a headache until i hit the shower to get my muscles to unclench

I wish my doc would look at these posts and see what i mean when i say the edibles help me sleep, bc i am v much still sleeby rn and i feel like this dreammare didn't help things lmao

[patpranism]

patpran marvel cinematic universe au

listen i know i still need to post that patpran star wars au but somehow this happened. bear in mind that i'm not a writer and it's been years since i write so please ignore the grammar errors :"D or any other errors since i haven't proofread it yet. anyway, let's go! pls be nice to me my feelings are fragile </3

Patpran mcu au (ignore the canon timeline please haha)

Patpran mcu au where Pran is the tired insurance agent working at an insurance company under Stark Industries, the Guardian Insurance and Pat is the unluckiest guy in the city who is always the victim whenever the Avengers save the day.

And somehow Pran will always be the guy who answered his call (Pran used to hate this Pat Napat Jindapat guy because why is he always calling when the working hours is about to end, it annoys Pran even more that he has A LOT to claim so he will be one of the unlucky agent who leave the office after working hours and listen, he might be tired but he’s not that heartless to ignore the calls. He knows how tiresome it is when your car suddenly gets thrown to the space by the Hulk, he has experienced it first-hand. It’s not fun).

The keyword is he used to.

“Thank you for calling the Guardian Insurance. My name is Pran Parakul and how can I help you today?” Pran picks up the call, activating his insurance agent voice tone. He winces when he hears things crashing in the background of the caller. There’s also a roar- ah must be the Hulk then.

“Hello there Pran!” The caller sounds oddly cheerful but it’s not a surprise. He's always happy. “It’s Pat again and I want to file claims under the Avengers Coverage please. My new car doesn’t look like a car anymore- I just witnessed Hulk using it to fight these flying aliens- he threw it at them and they’re somehow still alive. What do they eat in space-”

He then heard Pat winced.

“Shit. Thor just fried my car with his thunder. It’s toasted now.”

“How come you are always there Pat?” Pran sighs as he types in Pat’s policy number. Yes, he can already memorize it by now but it’s the first time where he doesn’t ask Pat for the details. “The last time you called was 4 days ago, it was about how your apartment was destroyed because a rocket blasted through it and now this? You’re so unlucky that I would advise you to take the new insurance package- we cover everything there. The Avengers have new members now with a much higher risk so the premium would be higher but hey it’s worth it.” He says seriously as he fills in Pat’s details.

“I love it when you talk about insurance. You really sound like you know your stuff and that is so attractive to me.” Pat replies cheekily. “It’s working by the way. I will sign up for the package later. Better safe than sorry.”

Pran has to bite his inner cheek to prevent himself from screaming. If he has a crush on Pat, a guy whom he has never met before- they’ve only talked on phone! when he’s working! then no one has to know. “Pat, it’s my job. I have to know my stuff.”

He ignores the butterflies in his stomach.

“Okay so I have filled in your details and the claim will start processing tomorrow since it’s already so late when you called.”

“Awww Pran.” Pat coos. “You remember my details? You didn’t even ask this time- I was honestly waiting for it.”

Pran rubs his forehead and lets out a sigh. Pat really needs to stop sounding so cute over the phone. It’s testing Pran’s sanity. “Pat, you’re our regular customer and let me remind you, somehow it’s always me who answers your call.”

“Magic isn’t it? How is it always you huh? I guess I can thank Dr. Strange for that.” Pat giggles. “All that wizard stuff.”

“Yeah and don’t forget to thank him too for cutting your car in half when he closed his magic portal 6 months ago.” Pran rolls his eyes. “and when he dropped the dead alien's head in the middle of the road, right in front of you which gave you a heart attack and you fainted a year ago. You’re lucky your current package covers the medical part.”

“You remembered that too!” he heard Pat gasping loudly, hurting his ears.

“Shh! Talk slower.” He hushes Pat as he waves awkwardly to his coworker who’s leaving the office. He cranes his neck to look around the office and guess what. He’s the only one left and it’s 30 minutes to six. He remembers complaining to Wai this evening, moaning about how tired he is since Loki decides to bring in even more aliens today- and the calls were nonstop. Apparently, the Eternals are also busy today dealing with the Deviants so that means more calls from people to claim their insurance under the Eternals package.

But talking to Pat makes him feel so refreshed. Pat is actually the only customer who never gets mad or lash out his feelings and tiredness at him whenever he wants to file some claim. He is always so cheerful when talking with Pran- unlike the other customers who give him a headache. He understands why they’re mad but there’s also a limit when they can’t stop lashing out at him- especially when they find out their package doesn’t cover certain claims. It’s not Pran’s fault! He tried explaining to them before about their insurance package but they would just ignore him.

“Of course I do.” Pran mutters slowly. “You called here asking if a handsome guy in a red cloak that can also fly on its own is an Avenger because you have never seen him before. You didn’t sound that mad either that you ended up at the hospital for the alien head.”

“Why would I be mad? They’re too busy saving the city to care about these details but they really should care more about it by the way. The insurance cost a lot and I’m fortunate enough to have extra money for the monthly premiums.” Pat complains. “I have to pay for my sister’s insurance too since she’s still in college and I’m just grateful she’s not as unfortunate as me. The only time she had to make a claim was when Captain America’s shield dent her car.”

“You were not mad when you called here too. Believe me, you’re the only one who calls and doesn’t start screaming when we answer.” Pran laughs quietly. “That makes you very memorable.”

and adorable, but Pran keeps it to himself.

“Huh? Why should I be mad at you? You’re just doing your job and you help me with my claims. People should be more grateful actually.”

God, Pat really likes- no scratch that, he’s really in love with Pat and it feels so ridiculous.

“Well then let’s pray more people are like you Pat Napat Jindapat.” Pran sighs, praying for it to become a reality one day. "It will save me from this unnecessary headache."

They stay quiet for a while after that but it was a comfortable silence. There’s no awkwardness here and Pran wants to drown himself in the comfortableness. He doesn’t even hear the fighting in the background anymore- either Pat has walked away from there or the fight is taking place somewhere else now.

Pat is the first one to break the silence.

“Hey Pran.” He calls out- he sounds nervous and Pran takes notice of it. “Are you.. perhaps free tomorrow night?”

Pran’s eyes widened. He can’t be asking-

“If you’re free then would you like to have dinner with me? It’s okay if you’re not comfortable with it. I know we’ve only been talking through the phone during your working hours so-“

Pran cuts him off. “Are you asking me out, like, like on a date? Is this a date?”

“Yes. Like a date.” He heard Pat exhales nervously. “I’m asking you out on a date with me tomorrow night. So…. would you like to?”

Pran really can’t believe this is happening to him. Holy shit.

“Yes! Of course, I would love to!” he answers too excitedly for his own liking but who cares! Pat is asking him out!

“Great!" Pat heaves a sigh of relief. "Just text me your address later- you already know my number, so I can pick you up tomorrow but I’ll use Paa’s car because well. You know me, I’m very unlucky today.”

“Sure Pat. I’ll do that later.” Pran lets out a laugh before telling Pat he actually can’t wait to meet the most unfortunate guy in the city.

“Are you sure I am THAT unfortunate?” Pat teases Pran. “Hmmmm because I’m feeling pretty lucky today that the sexy and attractive insurance agent Pran Parakul actually agreed to go out on a date with me tomorrow night.”

This guy-

“You’re so annoying you know that right?” Pran chuckles. “I’m ending the call now. The company will kill me if they find out I’m using the company’s phone to talk to you. It’s almost 45 minutes.”

“Well, tell them I’m one of the reasons your company is still relevant. Without me, who’s a very cursed person, the Guardian Insurance would be out of business by now.”

Pran can’t stop grinning from ear to ear as he bids his goodbye to Pat, promising him that he will text his address tonight.

As he packs his things, he thinks- he really has to send gifts to Dr. Banner and Thor by the way because without them destroying Pat’s car today, he would never experience this. Heck, he might even have to send gifts to the whole Avengers- he doesn’t know if he can send gifts to Asgard, but he swears he will find a way. For once, it’s a good day to live in this chaotic city. The Avengers really save the day today.

[not-tallytals]

LMK SEASON 3 SPOILERS

Alright since Flying Bark obviously wants me to go insane over Wukong and Macaque (their huge fallout specifically) the rest of you have to suffer with me :p

Okay so my hot take on their fallout is that it was all a hallucination. Never happened. There was no fight to the death. Just- just bear with me because things are gonna get

Wukong and Macaque had a very intense verbal argument right around the time Wukong got kicked from the jttw group after their encounter(s) with the White Bone Spirit. There wasn’t some huge battle, just a lot of yelling. They never once laid a physically violent hand on each other.

We’ve all seen Shadow Play, right? Wukong is wearing the golden circlet (a cursed headband) throughout the entire play. Including when he supposedly abandons Macaque. Further proving that this fallout between them happened during the Journey.

Wukong was in an impossible situation. He had to choose between his closest friends and what he knew he had to do, which was to go back and continue the westward journey. Also during this time, Wukong is trying to become a better person. He’s been treated like a volatile monster pretty much his entire life up until this point, which is something that has deeply upset him repeatedly. So factor that in with the obligation he feels to the jttw crew, and yeah. Difficult situation indeed.

In the end Lady Bone Demon sees two powerful demons who could and totally would end her entire existence should they recover from their fight, so to make sure that doesn’t happen, she shoves Macaque—who’s in a Not So Good headspace—right into his villian arc. She doesn’t put anything in his head that wasn’t already there (yet). She really just hypes him up and pushes his growing resentment towards Wukong into full blown rage, taking “Wukong had to leave” and turning it into “Wukong choose to leave.”

So, now that everything is set up, here’s where shit gets real. That epic battle between Wukong and Macaque? Completely staged by yours truly, LBD. Wukong and Macaque haven’t mention any huge battle between them, which is odd because it seems like a big deal. So as far as we know there was just that previously stated argument and a general lack of communication. Lady Bone Demon is the one who showed us the flashbacks of their battle.

LBD is known for her mind games, so who’s to say this fight actually happened in the Monkie Kid timeline? Macaque only thinks that Wukong killed him. He thinks that Wukong left him without a second thought. He thinks that Wukong is the enemy. Macaque was never fighting Wukong in that scene, he was fighting Lady Bone Demon, who is also notorious for her shapeshifting and use of disguises to trick others.

I honestly just think it’s fishy that LBD shows up like this, out of no where, and “rescues” Macaque. Especially when the chains that were brining him down looked suspicious like they were made by her. Also, she shows up right where Wukong was, like he wasn’t even there in the first place.

Not sure how to end this, or if anything made sense, but yeah! That’s my stupidly detailed theory that sounded a lot more put together in my head. It really just boils down to the fact that no one besides LBD has mentioned a physical fight between Wukong and Macaque. Sure, there’s Shadow Play and that one frame where Macaque mistakes MK attacking him for Wukong, but that episode covers Wukong leaving Macaque, not their battle.

Of course, this also sets up some pretty funny scenarios, because Macaque swears up and down that he fought Wukong and Wukong is just standing there like “….n-no? you didn’t? are you okay???”

[fanghunting]

Ok... I need to get this out of my head or ill go crazy. Bear with me...

Arceus Isekai's the reader (and the pkmnteam + Iphone 100) to helsalems lot. Just cause.

And welp new member to the libra family...( Klausie bless you'r heart... ) Mostly interaccions with the members (if I have to choose a few ; Klaus, Steven and Zed )

P. S.

(I'll leave my current pkmn team if you wanna use it. Its the one from galar : Cinderance (Blaze), Noivern(jirou), corvnigth(Tokoyami), urshifu the fight /water tipe (Klaus... I mean... ), Toxcicitry (Venom) And Zacian (Slash).)

You can go wild with this one.

P. S. 2. Im sorry this has been WAY too long in my head. And it got even worse after seeing Fan art of Emmet using Steven's esmeralda blood freeze tecnique...

okay so this got a little long, plus I love the whole concept so I miiight make this a miniseries >:3c I kept Noivern but brought it down to three pokemon just to make it easier for me to keep track of.

Your head was pounding. You had been walking through a forest, next thing you know, you’re falling. Noivern had managed to keep you from slamming too hard to the ground, but you’d been knocked out. Houndoom’s pokeball fell, releasing the canine pokemon. She blinked, sniffing the air. Then noticed you, unconscious, on the ground. Noivern sat on your other side. She immediately growled at the man walking closer.

Someone dropping out of the sky. Of course that would happen in this city. And of course Libra got called to deal with it, but none of them could really expect the creatures guarding the person. The black horned… Dog? Was that a dog? And the… hell, that could only be described as a dragon.

Cutaway - Steven

“Seriously? Dragon? A dragon! Did Zapp spike my coffee?!”

Leo froze, staring at the person. At the creatures guarding them. How the dog growled and breathed fire at the police suit that came close. But not hitting, just a threat. He blinked.

Cutaway - Zapp

“Dude what the fuck that looked like Seventh Hell. What, can animals use- WAIT HOLD ON THAT WAS A FUCKING HOUNDOOM-”

Lieutenant Law shouted at Klaus and Steven when they arrived. Yelling something about the person, at them to fix it. Detain the beasts.

“Um-” They looked at Leo. “Those are pokemon.”

The person woke up at that moment, sitting up. All eyes on them, watching as the beasts turned to nuzzle them. Pet the hound’s nose. Pull out two spheres, both turning to… red? And vanishing inside. They only then seemed to notice that they were surrounded.

“Hi?” They pushed themselves to stand up.

Cutaway - Leo

“On the one hand, I’m super excited to see pokemon. I love pokemon! But also… I’m just confused.”

Cutaway - Zed

“I’ve heard of pokemon. I don’t know much, but… It’s probably good it was just the dog attacking. From what Leo has told me, that dragon could have done serious damage.”

You were taken to Bradbury, where three of that group had followed. They talked between themselves. You couldn’t help wondering about what. Hm, now that you thought about it, Froslass would be worrying. You’d have to let her see that you were okay soon.

The check was quick, all things considered. The four of you sat outside, your pokemon sniffing around the grass. Froslass came up closer to you, the chill of her presence making the hair on your arms stand up a bit.

Cutaway - Steven

“So these creatures, the pokemon? I don’t know much about them, I’ve seen one use fire and now this one is really cold. I’m guessing it has ice. No idea about the dragon. Fuck, these things could pose a real threat to HSL.”

Cutaway - Zed

“I did some reading while doctor Estevez was checking on [Name]. We’re looking at three pretty powerful creatures. But they listen to them. I’m guessing either they have more we haven’t seen, or for some reason only had three on their person…”

Cutaway - Klaus

“I’m mostly glad they’re uninjured, apart from a bump from the fall. I suppose the one that can fly caught them? Either way… Zed has mentioned reading. The creatures are powerful, undoubtedly dangerous if commanded to hurt people.”

Noivern pulled your attention from the quiet conversation you’d been having with the tallest one- Klaus. His neck fur stood on end, wings flared. About to use Hurricane.

“NOIVERN.” He quickly turned back to you. “No! Do not attack anything! We’re not battling!”

Like a petulant child, he rolled his eyes. Shrugged a wing and lowered back to the ground.

The three men blinked at you.

Cutaway - Steven

“Okay, so we discussed them joining Libra. At least until we figure out how to get them back to… Wherever. But… Damn. Commanding a dragon like that?”

You had accepted joining their group. It would at least help you get home. And… Hey, it would give Noivern and Houndoom something to fight. You knew those two were always itching to battle. Froslass could contain herself at least.

Things would go well, you were sure. Even though Noivern took over the balcony and dropped Zapp over the edge several times during the first week.

[love-toxin]

a/n: in which tamaki needs a little help with some unexpected side effects.

warnings: pro hero! tamaki, gn! reader, established relationship, quirk kink, lactation, cumming untouched, nipple play, overstimulation, praise.  

word count: 1.8k

"Nngh.."

The sound that greeted you as you entered your apartment was not just unexpected, but concerning. You'd only just dropped your bag and kicked off your shoes, and the name of your sweetheart hadn't even graced your lips for you to call out to him that you were home. Tamaki always got back before you did, either to make sure he had food ready for you or to hold you the minute you arrived, so you had grown used to the quiet shuffling of his feet as he moved from room to room until he poked out his head to see you. 

But not…whatever that was. If it was somehow a fluke and a villain had attacked you at your address, you would have no doubt in your mind that your boyfriend could send them packing with ease--but if he was unwell enough to not even hear you when you walked through the door, then something was seriously wrong and you feared the worst. At a hurried pace, you rushed down the hallway and crossed through your tiny living room to step into the bedroom, where you could only guess the noise had come from. 

And what a sight it was, when Tamaki turned to see you standing in the doorway with a flush that burned his naked, sweaty body. The noises he was making before couldn’t compare to the shriek he let out when your eyes met, and by the time he frantically scrambled to pull the covers over himself, you’d already caught sight of what you hadn’t suspected he would be up to. He had straddled one of your pillows underneath his thick runner’s thighs, and you only caught a glimpse of his cock hanging heavy between them before he dove into hiding, the tips of his ears still peeking out from the edge of the blanket. The trembling of his body nearly shook the whole bed, but it was so endearing you couldn’t stifle the heat rising to your cheeks and the smile you managed to hide behind your hand. 

So cute. Whether he meant to or not, seeing Tamaki embarrassed was like having a gift plopped into your lap on your birthday--and with a careful touch, you reached down towards the bed and tugged gently on the blanket, your voice a soft whisper as you began the process of coaxing your sweet Tamaki out of hiding.

“P-Please don’t look!”

Your boyfriend squeaked, and by the rustling of the covers it looked as though he was trying to bury himself even deeper into a hole. This certainly wasn’t new to you, though--Tamaki was awkward and shy at the best of times, and despite being intimate enough with each other to share an apartment and a bed, he still acted as though the world was going to end if you ever saw him nude. Much less…tending to his needs while you weren’t around. 

“Tama...c’mon, Tama. I’m not mad or anything, I’m just happy to see you...oh.”

With a tug of the covers to catch a cheeky glimpse of Tamaki's handiwork, the blanket swept off of his lean body like a sheet over a piece of art--and once it fell to the side in a heap and pooled around the dip of the mattress where he was perched, you had to swallow back your shock at what you found underneath. 

At first glance it seemed like he'd been injured, his chest flushed and the skin looking irritated around it. But upon closer examination your breath hitched as you realized they were swollen, his pecs having gained at least a few centimetres as if he was starting to grow breasts. Not only that, but you noticed that something was leaking in little pearls of white from his nipples, and streaking down his belly to contrast his fair skin and thick, flared cock that trembled under the weight of its own rigidity. Your pillow cushioned his balls softly as he'd clenched it between his legs in his hurry, and by the spots of dark, fresh stains that had soaked into it, you had a sense of how he'd been using it while you were out. 

"Oh, Tama...what happened?" 

Even as he spoke, and despite the shame that filled him all the way up to his ears, he still rocked and jittered slowly into your pillow, his neediness leaking out just like the precum that dribbled down his swollen shaft.

"I-I had some beef...a-and…I tried to...to use my quirk, but...I-I couldn't stop thinking…"

He nuzzled into your touch when you brushed his bangs aside, but could barely move when you leaned down to peck him on the lips, the embarrassment pulling his body taut and making him even stiffer than he already was. 

"Were you thinking about me, Tama?" 

Tamaki bit his lip and you just knew. He wouldn't be able to bear the shame if he said it out loud, but you knew about those dark little corners of his mind that very seldom came out into the light. 

"Well, we can fix this, ok? Just lay down for me, baby boy." 

With a firm tug, you managed to yank the pillow out from beneath him and earned yourself a whine as he squeezed his legs together, but he obeyed once you pressed your fingertips to his chest and pushed him down until he laid back against the sheets, already covered with the sweat that beaded down his body. 

"We're gonna milk you, Tama...that's the only way we can cool you down." 

You swore his heart stopped in that moment. Tamaki blubbered and stumbled over his words, tears wetting his cheeks as he tried to pull his arms over his chest. 

"I-I can do it myself! I can-"

"No you can't. Look at yourself, Tama--you can barely keep it together as is. Besides, it's my job to make you feel better." 

Just to prove your point, with one hand you grabbed his wrist to move his arm out of the way, and with the other you lifted it up and flicked his exposed nipple, the swollen little bud twitching and releasing a spurt of milk at once while Tamaki moaned and jerked against your hold. He could pretend like it was shameful all he liked, but the gleam in his eyes as he bit his tongue so he wouldn't cry out for more was obvious. You'd seen him do it so many times it couldn't be anything else. 

“Do you wanna feel better, baby boy?” 

He squirmed under your gaze, the pressure mounting not just in his body, but in the room as well...he knew exactly what he wanted, but admitting it was something he just couldn't do out loud. So instead he relaxed his shoulders slowly and let his arms fall to his sides, his fingers already digging into the sheets as he huffed a shaky breath and readied himself for what was coming next. 

"That's my good boy. Just relax…"

With a practiced hand from working out the knots in your beloved's shoulders after a long day, you pressed the heels of your hands down into his pecs, each one firm and swollen and leaking even more as you kneaded them gently. Your tongue lolled out of your mouth in preparation, and once he started whining again and little pearls started beading at his nipples, you lowered your face to his chest and latched on to relieve him of that terrible itch he needed scratched. With each press he arched his back off the bed, fluttering gasps flying from his lips as spurts of milk flooded your mouth--and you nearly lost your grip on him when his body reacted to your touch. What you expected to taste was nothing like what you got, his milk impossibly creamy and warm and melting on your tongue with each new stream that you sucked out of him. Below you, his stiff cock twitched and strained under its own weight, Tamaki unable to keep his hips down and stop them from rocking painfully into you--but you really didn't mind, especially not when with a quick glance you could see him trying to stave off his oncoming orgasm. Poor thing must have worked himself up so much while you were gone, but it was more than worth it to take care of him now. 

"You make such a cute cow, Tama." 

You purred as you pulled off of his nipple, your mouth still buzzing with the aftertaste as you leaned over and laved gentle kitten licks over his unattended one, just begging to be relieved by all the milk that dribbled from his peachy little bud. Not one to leave anything behind, you dipped your head down and kissed those little streaks of white away, and somehow that seemed to be his undoing as a cry ripped itself from his throat and his shoulders plunged back into the soft sheets. Doe eyes made way for glazed over numbness, your hand just barely hovering over the tip before he painted your fingers with a frantic buck of his hips, his cum like a magnet to your skin as it stuck and refused to come off easily. And he certainly didn't stop for that, his body overwhelmed to the point that he had no control and emptied himself into open air, each wave of pleasure resulting in an arc of messy, sticky fluid that splattered where it landed and soaked a few wet spots into your work clothes. 

"Making such a mess, Tama...I didn't even have to touch you.." 

You watched with a bit of wicked glee on your face as the veins that had swollen as he came closer to his end thinned out, his cock growing softer until the moment you brushed your sticky fingers down the underside that was still so sensitive. At that moment he perked back up, and with an experimental squeeze using your other hand, you could feel Tamaki's pecs filling up and swelling again with more milk. Just pinching his tender, sore nipples was enough for them to start leaking again, and even though you knew he would be aching by the time you had finished tending to him, the feel of his body trembling with need and the tears spilling down his rosy cheeks was too much for you to resist. You just wouldn't be able to help yourself.

"..Still hurts, Tama? Does my little cow need another milking?" 

You wasted no time in choking up his cock with your hand, squeezing him hard enough that a gasp caught in his throat and a few pearly strands of cum dribbled down his slit and lubed up your grip. But with a fresh set of tears as he blubbered and moaned something you couldn't quite catch, you reached up to stroke his hair and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Being gentle was what always drew him to you, especially when you nuzzled in close and whispered just low enough that his ears twitched, and Tamaki melted into your embrace without even a modicum of resistance. 

"Good boy. That's my good boy." 

[kanene-yaaay]

Yellow, Black, Blue and Warmth

Kanene’s note: I am very proud of this sdfghjqswerty.

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* This characters don’t belongs to me! They all belong to the anime/manga Boku no Hero.

* This is a SFW tickle fanfic. ^w^)b

* This is Lee!Toshinori with Ler!Hizashi + Ler!Aizawa. Platonic or Romantic. Around 4.500 words.

* This has mouth tickles (raspberries, nibbles, tickly kisses...), teasy nicknames, use of the spotlight system (green, yellow and red) and baby talk. If there is anything that needs to be tagged just lemme know! 

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any and every advice is very very welcome! \(-w-)/

* Tell someone that makes you feel safe how much they matter to you. If you want, no words are needed. Sometimes just an emoji or ‘this reminds of you’ is needed. Don’t forget you’re especial to someone, as well. <33

[~*~]

“W-wait!”

 His arms twitched on their position above his head and, not for the first time, he felt himself starting to lower them in a desperate urge to hide his flaming face adorned by a soft, uncontrollable kind of smile that only a few people in the world could claim the happiness of seeing.

 A warm hand rested on the right side of his ribcage and nails positioned themselves under his toes, two playful gazes looking at him, warningly.

 “Let’s-” a quiet gasp escaped from his lips when he tried to make a placating gesture with his hands and lowered them further, making the nimbly fingers start to wiggle restlessly on his spots. “I aham sure we can think another solution for this p-problem!”

 Goosebumps ran freely across his body in a wave of warm and excitement as the concentrated, evil black eyes blinked lazily at him, their owner not dignifying himself with an answer before he shoved his face back on the right side of his stomach, nuzzling and humming calmly, his nose exploring, drawing shapes on the ticklish skin, the adult being extremely careful and attentive enough so every vibration seemed to buzz on every and any of his so, so sensitive nerves, leading his back to arch with the unbearable sensation and the “attacker” to smirk in his quietness.

 “I-I beg f-for you to reconside-eek!” He squirmed harder as a low ‘oh’ was pronounced, trying - with not nearly all his strength, if he was being honest, but no one needed to know that - to dislodge the other adult from the newly found sweet spot right next to his hip, which was currently being rustless attacked with soft, barely there kisses that, no matter how much he buckled, refused to move. “Please, please. Yohou don’t have to d-do this!”

 His barriers were starting to crumble, quiet sounds beginning to find their way out of his firmly pressed lips, red growing more on his face as an awed cooing researched his ears and the long, awfully long nails lightly scratched the arch of his feet, making themselves known. They prodded, scribbled and danced skillfully across his sole, circling the weak spots that, for the way the blonde’s grin widened every time he stumbled in a new one, wouldn’t be forgotten that easily.

 And then Toshinori giggled. 

 That was when he realized he was doomed.

“Aw, but I do think we do! Who wouldn’t want to hear more of that cute laughter of yours, my dear squeaky listener?”

 “Hi-hizashi-san!”

 “Yes, my wiggly wiggley bear? What is the matter? You seem rather smiley today. ~” Hizashi sing-sang, an only one finger focusing at that lovely spot right under the ball of his feet that made him squeal in a poorly hidden delight, his laughter starting to overcome his titters. Especially as Shouta decided to be a little more hands-on and weak, almost maddening touches were spidered on Yagi’s right side, not helping at all the flow of high pitched squeaks escaping from his mouth. “Does that tickle? Huh? Does that tickle tickle tickle you so much that it makes you want to give us all that amazing squealing squeals and cute yelps? Aw, isn’t that so kind of him, Shou?”

 “You think that after so much hero work the Symbol of Peace would have gotten at least a bit of a resistance.” Aizawa pointed, not bothering to lift his head so his words wouldn’t be muffled as they hit directly Toshinori’s tummy, not even a drop of remorse on his tune as his act made the aforementioned to crackle, kicking as a series of ‘nonono’s filled the room. “Don’t you agree, Toshinori? Just a few well placed tickles here and there and then All Might would be begging for mercy in a few seconds. Tsk. So ticklish, so helpless, so cute.”

 Aizawa didn’t call them cute often. He did, however, reconsider his choice when his gaze quickly locked on Yagi, a nice feeling bubbling in his chest with the other’s half whine, half giggle, his wobbly, happy smile almost disappearing under all the blush that consumed his features.

  “Right!” Yamada experimentally squeezed his calf, beaming when a guffaw answered him, the leg tugging halfheartedly on his grip, arms hugging himself to not push them away. “But that is no problem! We are teachers, after all. Teachers very capable of teaching him how to increase his endurance, and I think I have the perfect idea of a lesson to help him.”

 Yagi was dying. Part of himself wanted to flee away from all the attention, all the warm, caring touches and compliments and that absurdly insufferable sensation that still tingled his body even now, when Shouta and Hizashi stopped to loom over his form with matching evil smirks, making it almost impossible for him to not hide his face and curl in a silly, rather giggly ball.

 The words of the previous finally sank in his mind and he fiercely shook his head, not trusting his own mouth and trying to not let the amusement he felt blooming on him to drip on his move.

 “Awesome! Thank you for agreeing, tickly listener. It’s amazing to know you’re also as eager for this just as we are!”

 “But I did not-” A true shriek cut his words as Aizawa dug his fingers on his armpits, resulting in a sea of wild giggles to overtake him. The tickles being mean enough to be able to completely dissolve his protests, although also the right amount of light so Yamada’s teasy words would still be able to be heard above him.

 “So!” The Voice Hero clapped joyfully, getting even more excited at the other's reactions. “The best way to be prepared for any situation is to train! Practice! You need to be prepared to all resist to any and every trickys tickly tickle technique that exists, which means scribbles, scratches, squeezes, kneads, nibbles, nuzzles, kisses, spidering, nursery rhymes, and ooooh, of course, raspberries!” Hizashi nodded once, determined.

 “I can’t!” Yagi threw his attempts of forming entire, coherent sentences out of the window, his brain basically short-circuiting on Hizashi’s first examples. “Please, please, I swear! I cahahan’t!”

 “Oh, don’t worry my dear sweet, squirmy listener, it’s really a lot of work to do... But! You will not be doing it alone! Me and Shouta will be here cheering and helping you for hours and hours and hours until you master the whooole lesson. And," the blonde got closer, lowering his tune until his words were just a breath on Yagi's ears, teasing the sensitive spot no matter how much he shrugged and shook his head. "If you get something wrong all we need to do it's just start aaaall over and over again, right, Shou?!”

 “Oh gohod.”

 “Of course, I don’t waste my time with someone who doesn’t have potential.”

 Aizawa’s predator smirk and tone maybe would be scarier if it wasn't broken by Yamada’s loud cooing, the taller coming back to his previous position as he rested a quick squeeze on Shouta's hip, fishing a surprised snort and a warningly glance from the black haired man, who, on his turn received an innocent whistling as an answer. Toshinori chuckled in amusement at the scene, gratefully taking the breather.

 “Better be careful,” Yagi’s tune was innocent, with a titter dropping here and there, still, a dangerous shine gleamed intensely on his blue eyes, “so that lesson won’t backfire on you in the future.”

 Aizawa stared at him, the tip of his lips curling in a barely there grin that heavily contrasted and complemented Yamada’s dramatic gasp in betrayal.

 “Very well.” Eraserhead said, positioning himself on top of his legs, successfully pining him on the mattress. "Let's take care of any riot that might happen right now, then."

 Suddenly, All Might senses all the confidence he felt not a few seconds ago to transform in butterflies flying in despair on his stomach. Shouta’s shadow stood above him, the usual bored expression plastered on his features as his face lowered closer and closer of the blonde, stopping just a few centimeters from his ear.

  Toshinori held his breath in anticipation.

 “Green?”

 Something… something he couldn’t really nominate melted in his heart and for a moment he forgot how words worked.

 He really loved them both so much.

 “Green.”

 Shouta chuckled.

 "Good." He adjusted himself, resting their foreheads together and capturing those blue eyes to himself. "Giggles, titters, whines… every sound you make I will be able to hear clearly so be very, very careful and don't laugh.”

 Toshinori gasped when the feeling of skilled hands, scratching and kneading his side shoot through him. The offending fingers danced slowly, taking their time on each weak spots before switching to another one, a bit too close of his stomach or his spine, completely oblivious to how Toshinori's chest already shook with trapped sounds. Toshinori realized, maybe too late, how their new position prevented him to perceive where Aizawa would attack next, every time the black-haired hero changed his target to an unexpected spot adding a tear in his barriers, the squeaks and crackles getting stronger and harder to contain.

 “So, sweetpea, how would you rate your ticklish experience from one to ten, so far?” Yagi couldn’t help the way his body twitched and squirmed involuntarily at Yamada’s voice, his imagination unhelpfully whispering that, at any moment, any moment now, Hizashi would give up from his purely verbal teases and be touchier. “One being ‘That Is All You Can Do?’ and ten being ‘This Is Everything I ever Dreamed About Please Don’t ever Stop?’” 

 “P-p-lease!”

 “That is not a number.” Aizawa observed, jumping in his friend’s teasing at the same time he stopped, thinking about something until his eyes shone. His voice was velvety, almost as a purring. “But that can be helped. Here, I will refresh your memory.” A finger pressed on the lowest rib on his right and the blonde’s eyes widened, a snort flying from his lips, his head shaking from one side to other, a pleading gaze.

 “Wait! Aizawa, please, wait! I will do anything!”

 “What.” Suddenly the finger was replaced by the whole hand shaped as a claw, the spot where it touched tingled in anticipation. “Did you call me?”

 Aizawa was adamant about very few things, actually.

 Hizashi chuckled darkly, free of any pity, next to him. “I think he is asking for it, Shou.”

 Do not mess with his cats. Do not mess with his kids. Do not wake him up. Do not eat his jelly porches and, of course, if he gave you the permission to call him by his first name, use it.

 “No, no, no! I meant! I meheheant Shouta!”

 Of course, except for the first two, he didn’t actually care that much for when the others were ignored by his close friends, but - he curled his fingers, watching as Yagi continued to squirm and snicker at every twitch of his fingers - that didn’t mean he wouldn’t have his fun with this slip. 

 “And also,” again, Yamada pipped in, “he just giggled, didn’t you just said him to not laugh?”

 “I did.” 

 “Please! Anything! Anything you want! Just name it! I will givehe you anythihihihing.”

 Aizawa adjusted himself so his lips would rest on Yagi’s neck, he sighed deeply, relaxed. 

 “Then give me your laughter.”

 And he started.

 The fingers dug on his spot, prodding and scribbling in attacks which danced in a perfect synchrony with the fast nibbles assaulting all the sensitive skin he could reach, expertly dodging from all the trashing, the attacks seemingly to only be fueled by his shrieks.

 “An autograph!” loud, booming laughter exploded, snorts and an intelligible mix of half English and half Japanese painting his words stumbling and falling nonstop from his mouth. Yagi lost track of what he was saying the moment a raspberry was placed right under his chin and the hand tased his side, vibrating and vibrating and vibrating there for what seemed an entire eternity. “Rare merchandise! My house! Anything, I swear, anything but this!”

 “Oh my god.” Hizashi braced himself on the wall, his conflicted heart torn between cooing and teasing the other for how much adorable he was being and giggling in joy with his funny reactions. “Oh my god. Shouta, please, don’t ever stop tickling him, this is the most precious scene I witnessed in my whole life.”

 Shouta felt tempted to agree, however, after a couple of minutes, he stopped, shoving his face on the other’s shoulder to hide his own soft chuckles, being accompanied by the residual, bubbling giggles. They waited until his breath became steadier before the one with black, deep eyes stared at the watery, gleaming blue ones.

 “Shoutahaha…”

 “Just one more spot, okay?”

 Toshinori closed his eyes, nodding before trying to hide his expression under his hands, being stopped by Yamada, who took each one of them gently and gave a kiss on his knuckles, lacing their fingers, knowing very well Yagi wouldn’t attempt to pry them away like this. 

 “No hiding your beautiful face, remember?” Yagi wanted to huff in annoyance at the unprompted tease, but it was being said with such lovely care that he couldn’t help but melt under it, especially when Shouta began to bombard the place behind his ear with kisses and small raspberries, descending him in quiet titters and silent laughter sprinkled with sporadic guffaws.

 After a few more of kisses, tickles and fast, inaudible giggles he ceased his attack, giving a last nibble on his ear before getting up from him, letting the Symbol of Peace recompose himself between his blush and gigantic smile, offering a cup of water when his laughter stopped to fly across the room, all of them enjoying the silence as Toshinori drank the liquid, thanking Shouta.

 “Green?” Hizashi asked, stepping a little closer, a shy grin on his lips.

 “Oh my… Why do you have to make me say that?” Toshinori squeezed their hands, huffing and deviating his gaze. “Green.”

 The blinding smile that was sent in his way seemed to have enough shine to light up the whole house. “Let’s jam!”

 The Voice Hero tried to untwine their hands kindly, blinking in surprise when the other only held them more fiercely. He tried again, same result. Behind them Shouta snorted, amused.

 “Giggly bear, my sweetpea, you will have to let go of my hands.”

 “Absolutely not, you will attack me.”

 Yagi stared at him with a challenge in his face, daring the hero to do something about that.

 “Well…” Hizashi winked playfully. “I always have my mouth, and, you know? That wiggly wiggley yummy tummy of yours seems to be asking for a couple or maybe a dozen of raspberries… ~”

 “Wait, no!” Toshinori squirmed, instinctively sucking his belly. “Don’t!”

 “Aw, but that is such a pity! I was thinking about being a bit merciful today, you know? Maybe some skittering under your knees, being sure to give enough attention to every inch of both of them, I mean, we don’t want anyone feeling left out of the fun, of course! Then I would give one or two squeezes on them, a swift under your wiggly wiggley toes, a few scratches on your squirmy feet and voilá! A happy, silly, giggly Yagi ready to go. But, well, now I believe I don’t have another choice except place all the mean raspberries aaaall over your unprotected stomach and sides and ribs and sides and neck and ribs and-”

 “Stop, stop!” Toshinori let go of his hands in order to hug his tingling torso, curling in a defense ball, trying to stop the feeling of the imaginary tickles. “J-just get over it!”

 “Aw,” Hizashi placed a kiss on his temple, smiling softly for a piece of moment before letting it turn into an evil grin. “Your wish is an order, my adorably ticklish bear.”

 He positioned his hands in each leg, grazing his nails from the bottom of his calves and lightly scribbling their way up to the wonderfully sensitive spot under his knee, taking his time to draw spirals and rivers on the skin, being very content to feel the other squirm under his touches, huffs of laughter puffing from his lips. “Hey, Toshi, can I ask a question?”

 “Fuck,” he squeaked when an unexpected pinch was placed on his hip before Hizashi innocently continued his previous attack. “Y-you may.”

 “Right! But, first of all, let me take care of this two...” Yamada smiled, completely unfazed as he sat on the bed, holding both ankles and lifting before resting them on his shoulders. “There you go, squirmy toy! All comfy and unable to wiggle away from my curious, tickly fingers!”

 “He is going to kick you.” Aizawa rolled his eyes, getting closer until he could get a firm, yet gentle, grip on Yagi’s ankles, truly preventing him from moving them. “Here. Now ask your question.”

 “Thank you, babe.” Hizashi relished on the way Aizawa’s ears were painted in red before beaming again at Toshinori, who kept trying to pull his legs away from his predicament, and seeming to take the fact that he wasn’t laughing his head off as a personal offense. He rested his hands on his knees again, one of them squeezing them skillfully while the other scratched the sensitive skin underneath it. “So, Toshinori, what do you think it tickles more? When I squeeze, squeeze, squeeze those adorable ticklish kneecaps or when I tickle tickle tickle them silly?”

 “No, no, no!”

 “No?! Aw, I am afraid that isn’t really the answer I am looking for, darling… But that is okay! Do you know what I am going to do now, Toshi? Huh? Do you know?” 

 Yagi just shook his head, knowing pretty well that anything said would just fuel the evil words dripping freely from the other’s mouth.

 “Not even a guess?” He changed his technique to lightly tease with plentiful of scribbles the sensitive spot with just the tip of his fingers. “An itsy bitsy tiny guess? Awn.” A fake pout adorned his face. His fingers ascended a bit more, now tormenting the thighs, their owner smiling wide as the squirms began to get stronger, drawing circles around the little weak spots he knew that would fish the wildest laughter. “But I will tell you anyway! Because the Tickle Monster is feeling very kind today. I am going to get those sensitives calves riiiight here!” 

 “Hizashi!” Yagi tried to pull his legs again, his giggles becoming more frantic as he realized they didn’t even buckle from their spot. “I can’t. I promise you, I can’t! Hihihihizashi!”

 “But I do think you can! I believe in you, Toshinori. You’re such a strong, nice tickle bug. I think you definitely can take some good cootchie-coothie-coos right here!” He poked. “And here” Poke. “And here, and here, and here, here, here!” 

 Suddenly a sea of pokes - just that, just tiny, harmless, quick pokes that shouldn’t be able to make him feel even more ticklish than he already was - assaulted his calves, some surprising pinches and clawing also making an appearance and disappearing just as fast as they came.

 “Shut up, please, shut up!” Throwing his head with loud, squealing chortles, Toshinori pleaded, his mind overtaken with how much it tickled and how unbearable it was and how amazing all of this felt. 

 “Gasp! Toshi! How can you say that? The Tickle Monster thought you loved his teases. Why would you want them to ever stop? Do they make you feel more ticklish? Huh? Do they? Do all my silly teases and tickly attacks make the big, strong Yagi Toshinori become a very lovely and adorable mess of those cute sounds? Huh?”

 “Don’t you think how great would it be if we just stayed like this forever? Me, here, playing with you and your awfully helpless toes,” at the mention of the new spot Yamada changed his target, making the other to arch his back and shriek in belly laughter as fingers attacked under his toes, tickling and digging unmercifully at every single one of them. “and hearing this wonderful laughter! Don’t even make me start about your laughter! It is music to my ears.”

 When nothing but a series of snorts and loud laughter answered him, the blonde decided to stop his tickles, slowing them until his warm hands just rested there, peacefully.

 Toshinori wiped the single tear that traveled to his hot cheek, just a quick glance in Aizawa and Yamada’s general direction being enough to make his giggles start a-new.

 “I am not even doing nothing to you.” The tease couldn’t be helped, especially as his giggles got stronger and, consequently, quieter.

 “Your hands!”

 “My hands? What about them?” Hizashi shouldn’t be allowed to feel that much smug nor powerful.

 “They’re just…” A flow of intelligible noises fell from Yagi’s lips, and he decided to try again. “They’re just there! It tickles!”

 “Now, it does?”

 “I would never have guessed.” Aizawa deadpanned, watching as the other wiggled and squirmed in protest.

 “Right? I mean, they’re just chilling there. No moving, no tickling and Toshinori attacks them like that! I would feel wounded, but I guess he is really just a very ticklish giggle bug. Shouta, what are we going to do? The lesson clearly isn’t working… Oh, I wonder if there is something I could do to stop tickling him...”

 “Just take them off there!” Yagi gasped when the fingers started to skitter around his ankles, another newly discovered sweet spot that erupted a new round of snorts. “No!”

 “I don’t think there is anything that can be done. We could just stop and stare at him and he would be laughing uncontrollably in three seconds.” Aizawa remarked.

 “He is just too much sensitive, ya know? Just an itsy bitsy touch and you get him all giggly and blushy.” 

 “Am nohohot!”

 “And helpless too. Cute and helpless.”

 “Shouta, plehehease, let me go!”

 “Yean, absolutely.” Hizashi agreed, shaking his head with fake sadness, a tiny grin blooming on his lips. “I guess this is our fate, Sho, to hear him laugh and squeal and snort and giggle-giggle-giggle at anything we do.”

 “A pity.”

 “Enough!” Both stopped, hearing the light of tiredness painting Yagi’s tune. “That- haha, that is enough, please.”

 “Yellow?”

 “Red.” Toshinori smiled, feeling yet too shy to find their gazes with his. “I'm just an old man with one lung.”

 Hizashi snorted, offering him a bottle of water and heading to the kitchen to make his special tea - after all, no one knew a better recipe for tired throats than the Voice Hero himself, - and Aizawa just rolled his eyes, sitting on the mattress and massaging his feet, a calming gesture that helped both to relax as they enjoyed the silence with the phantom laughter and reminiscent giddiness that still ran on their veins.

 “Shouta,” Toshinori lightly hit the other’s thigh with his free feet until the black haired one turned his attention to him, not even slightly prepared for the soft, incredibly soft, expression and gleaming, energetic eyes which found his. “Thank you.”

 Aizawa scoffed, quickly trying to brush off the warmth engulfing his heart and smile that tried at all cost to appear on his features. 

 “It was very… enjoyable.” Toshinori pressed further, tipping his head to the side in an attempt to see his expression. “Your technique is very effective! You don’t rely a lot on verbal teases but the way you can mix different attacks and keep track of which spots bring the most reactions is very impressive! Not to mention-” A squeak broke his thoughts when a mean squeeze was delivered on his calf, Aizawa huffing before massaging the local to make the tingles go away.

 “Continue with this and I will not be above ganging up with Hizashi to wreck you, again.”

 “If it’s Complementing Eraserhead hours and you’re being too stubborn to accept the deserved nice words I think it’s very clear who I will end up helping.” Hizashi remarked as he got into the room, distributing the tea before squishing himself between them, almost spilling the drink as a warning tickle on his stomach made him jump.

 “Hey!” The one being called just quirked an eyebrow at him, almost challenging. Hizashi just shrugged. “It would still be worth it.”

 “Yagi,” Toshinori blinked, surprised at being pulled on their usual bickering, staring Aizawa above the rim of his mug. “Analyses about Hizashi as the ler.”

 An inhumane screech flew from Yamada’s lips. “Don’t you dare!”

 When he was over, sneaking one and other praise for Eraserhead here and there, they were all laid on the bed, limbs entangled due both the magnetism that seemed to pull them together and the fact that if it wasn’t for it, Yamada would have already fled from the room on the shine of Yagi’s first word.

 “I don’t like you.” The one with long, blond hair complained, grumbling when his sentence only made the others snuggle closer, snickering. “None of you. You’re both very mean and dirty traitors and I am going to scream.”

 “Don’t.” Aizawa slurred from somewhere behind Toshinori, his tune showing he was almost asleep. Hizashi, who already forgave them for their “betray” searched for his waist, resting his arm on it and very lightly scratching the base of his back, a spot he knew would make the underground hero absolutely melt. Toshinori captured his free hand, coming close and humming softly as his finger traced the lines on his palm.

 Soft. Good. Warm.

 At some point of the conversation, someone had turned the television on, and for a few pieces of moment the show playing in the background was the only thing that filled the silence.

 “Hey, Toshi.”

 “Yes?”

 “I know you don’t like a lot of attention when the tickling is over but… thank you.” A quick kiss was delivered on his forehead, happy to see no trace of discomfort on the other’s features, only a tiny, timid smile. “Thank you.”

 “Go to sleep, Hizashi.” And then he kissed his knuckles, just like Hizashi did back then, and Shouta murmured something, pulling them closer and Hizashi smiled and the television started to grow more and more silent.

 “Ok.”

 After that, everything was soft, good, warm.

[~*~]

Inspirations!

* That entire AllEraserMic tickle series that I absolutely live for

* The teases from the fanfics of that amazing author

* A very especific post about cute reactions when the lee is being tickled but I can’t find it so please enjoy Onion’s blog (the op)  instead. His blog is gold.

[j-amespotter]

★ mirrorball - j. p.

“i'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me.”

Pairing: James Potter x Gryffindor!Reader

x. x. x.

Summary: James Potter has only ever had one girl on his mind. You’ve always known that. You decide it’s time for a new haircut. 

Genre/Warnings: slight angst/FLUFF, insecurity (?)

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: fluff?? from me??? who would have thought? first time writing for james! this is just me finding out lily had shoulder-length hair in ootp and rolling with it ;p let me know if you would like to be added to my taglist

masterlist

“Are you sure about this?” asked Mary Macdonald, a fellow sixth-year, close friend and roommate of yours.

Open scissors hovered around a section of your thick hair. You eyed yourself in the mirror contemplatively. “Positive,” you affirmed.

Mary shook her head disapprovingly and sighed. “If you insist. I really like your long hair, though.” 

A small, almost-undetectable part of you agreed. “Change is always good.” 

“For the right reasons,” retorted Mary. Nevertheless, she trimmed off the allotted portion of your hair. Gulping at the lopsided haircut, you knew there was no turning back. You assumed that cutting your hair to match Lily Evans’s new hairstyle was not what Mary considered to be “for the right reasons.” 

“You know,” said Mary after snipping away in silence for a few minutes, “I think he likes you just the way you are.” 

That’s the problem, you wanted to answer. I want more. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

Mary glanced towards the door of their dormitory. “Copying Lily’s haircut is not the way to go about this, (Y/N),” she said in a hushed whisper. 

Yes, it is. He chose her. “I’m not trying to copy Lily,” you hissed defensively. “I just wanted to try something different. And what better way to celebrate a Quidditch win than to debut a new haircut?” 

Suddenly, you caught sight of a new face in the dormitory. With a quick glimpse of her, you couldn't help your defeated sigh. Lily Evans was bright and funny. She was the physical embodiment of sunshine, with hair the color of red wine and vivid green eyes. It was for these reasons and more that, unfortunately for you, Lily became the object of James Potter's affection, nearly as much as he was yours. 

But even that was untrue. Your love for James, despite its unrequited nature, was different from his love for Lily. You and James were two sides of the same coin, just different enough to complement each other perfectly. It had been six years. The boy who had overpowered every waking thought of yours was yet to come to the same realization. 

“Hey,” greeted Lily. “Great game today, (Y/N)! Party just started downstairs. What’s the hold-up?” She spotted the scissors in Mary’s hand and your sheepish gaze through the mirror. “Merlin, you cut your hair! It looks amazing!” 

You wished you could hate her, but such was the unmistakable appeal of Lily Evans. “Thanks, Lily,” you said with what you hoped was a genuine smile. “I was freshening up. We thought I could use a little spruce.” Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Mary turn away hastily. 

“Well, hurry up and get changed! Everyone’s waiting,” Lily added with a cheeky smile, one you could not entirely understand. 

You stood up, shaking the hair off of your uniform. With a silent incantation and a flick of your wand, it disappeared from the floor. Glancing at Lily, an idea popped into your head. “I just need to get changed. Lily, can I borrow that yellow dress of yours? The one with the daisies? You wore it at the last game and said I could try it on some time.”

Lily nodded, as unassuming as ever. You decidedly ignored Mary’s glare as you waited for the dress to make it into your hands.  

☆

“Took you long enough,” teased Sirius as you sauntered down the stairs with Mary and Lily at your heels. As you reached the bottom of the steps, he peered closer at you. “You look different, (L/N).”

You grinned. “Good different? Or bad different?” 

“Ask Potter,” said Lily from behind you. 

Feeling the heat rise up your cheeks, you dismissed the supposedly good-natured comment. Instead, you took in your surroundings. An impressive display of scarlet and gold ornamented the common room. Your inner lioness roared in delight. As a Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, the best House team in Hogwarts history, you couldn’t help the immense pride awakening in your chest at your latest win. You closed your eyes. In an instant, you remembered the exhilarating feel of a soaring broomstick in the brisk air. You imagined yourself in perfect formation with your teammates, trailing after a flash of dark, ruffled hair. You looked into his resolute eyes as he seamlessly passed you the Quaffle. 

“Did you cut your hair?” interrupted James’s silky voice. 

You turned around with a dazed smile on your face. Meeting his unreadable gaze, you hummed affirmatively. “What d’you think?” 

For an unknown reason, he seemed taken aback. Slowly, his eyes raked over your body, head to toe. “It’s pretty,” he said quietly. You didn’t respond immediately, confused by the sudden tortured expression on his face. “Isn’t it a bit cold for that outfit?” 

You chuckled darkly. “That’s not what you said when Lily wore it last time.” 

James stared at you open-mouthed. Without a word, he stalked away, joining Peter for a butterbeer in the corner of the room. 

“What happened?” asked Lily. 

You stumbled backward. At this moment, you regretted wearing the high heels you found at the bottom of your trunk. “Nothing,” you snapped. 

Lily raised her eyebrow. “There’s no need to take that tone with me,” she said coolly. “It’s not my fault both of you are completely blind.” 

“You don’t have a clue, Evans,” you responded, involuntarily blushing at her veiled insinuation. 

“I think I do. He has feelings for you, (Y/N).”

You laughed, though you found nothing funny about it. “He likes you, Lily.”

“Maybe,” said Lily, “but he’s in love with you. Everyone can see it.” She paused, placing a friendly hand on your shoulder. “Go talk to him.”

Not a single part of you wanted to have this conversation. As Lily walked toward a tired-looking Remus, you exhaled a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. 

Talk to him, said a firm voice in your head. Maybe he feels the same way. 

Impossible. There was no way he could feel what you felt just thinking about him. Loving James was like flying. He was the adrenaline rush of being suspended in mid-air. He hit you with the speed of a Bludger whirring past your face. He was the Snitch that delicately fluttered in front of you, brushing your skin. He was the Quaffle that thumped perfectly in your hand. 

You scanned the room for the hazel-eyed boy that owned your heart, only to discover that he had left Peter to his own devices. Something heavy settled in your stomach when you finally spotted him, seated on the space on the couch next to none other than Lily Evans. James chatted with her animatedly. You found no comfort in the tell-tale signs of her typical irritation. 

Without a second glance, you tripped over your own two feet as you dashed for the portrait hole, wanting more than anything for fresh air and a free spot to scream yourself hoarse. 

☆

It was by sheer stealth or unshakeable determination that you did not get caught. Students weren’t allowed on the Quidditch pitch without permission, but it was the only place you wanted to be. It was the only place you could bear to be. 

You stood in the center of the pitch, hugging yourself as the prickly cold attacked you from all sides. You thought of lying down on the icy ground but knew not to subject yourself to any more physical agony. 

Instead, you stood. You stood in heels that were tight around your ankles, sinking into the grass and bruising the underside of your feet. You stood in a strange, sleeveless dress in a January in the Highlands. Your eyes burned with tears that refused to fall. 

Without warning, something feathery grazed your shoulder. Tilting your head slightly, you spotted a Golden Snitch. Gone rogue, you supposed to yourself. It floated at eye-level like a taunt. You reached forward and closed your fingers around it, surprised at the warmth the small object exuded. 

“I should have you play Seeker,” uttered a familiar voice. 

Startled, you whipped around, only to see nothing behind you. Having pivoted too fast, you felt yourself lose balance and topple backward, straight into the frosted grass you were avoiding. 

Peeling off his Invisibility Cloak, James struggled to stop laughing long enough to help you up. Instead, he sat right next to you, wrapping the Cloak around both himself and your blueing body. 

“You’ll ruin it,” you warned, teeth chattering. 

“It can take it,” he assured. “You’re missing the party.” 

“It’s your party, Captain.” 

James shook his head. “It’s our party. We’re a team, you and me.”

You didn’t have anything to say to that. The two of you sat in silence, your hand still clutching the Snitch. 

“You were so tall,” said James unexpectedly. “In your shoes.” 

“I’m not even sure they’re mine,” you said lightly. 

“No, they aren’t, are they?”

You didn’t answer. You pulled the Cloak tighter around you, unknowingly pulling James and all of his accompanying body heat along with it. The two of you were so close. You could see every speck of gold in his eyes. 

James tentatively lifted his hand and reached for the ends of your hair, twirling a piece around his finger. “Your hair grew back.” 

You gasped. “How? I didn’t…”

Grinning, James gently tugged the strand, pulling your ear closer to his lips. “Magic,” he whispered. 

“Idiot,” you said, playfully shoving his chest. 

Like a magnet, he leaned towards you again. There you were, together, under his Cloak, beneath the stars, in your favorite place in the world. With a hand cupping your cheek, he pressed his lips against yours. You inhaled his earthy scent and melted in his slow, seemingly eternal kiss. 

Reluctantly, you pulled away. Your foreheads were touching. His hand remained as it was, cradling your face. “That was…” 

“Breathtaking,” finished James without hesitation. 

“Yes, it was,” you said, nodding fervently. “But James… what about Lily?” 

He frowned. “What about her?” 

“You’ve liked her for ages, James–” 

“Stop,” he interrupted firmly. “This is our moment, (Y/N). I like you, and I think I always have. Scratch that… I liked Evans. But I love you. I’m in love with you.”

Your eyes widened in genuine surprise. “You are?”  

“You’re my best friend,” said James. “I’ve been running away from it for so long. I didn’t mean to hurt you (Y/N). But I want to spend every waking moment with you. I can’t stop thinking about you even when I try.”

“But… I’m just me, James. Little old me.” 

“Exactly. I don’t want you to be any different, (Y/N). Not for me,” he added sincerely. “I’m in love with you exactly the way you are. I’ll love you no matter how you look. But you shouldn't change who you are because of me.” 

“Bighead,” you teased, swallowing the lump in your throat, “thinking it’s just for you.” 

He smiled. James Potter was in love with you: the girl in an oversized Quidditch uniform, her hair cascading behind her, one that could easily deliver a kick in the shins in her trusty trainers. James loved your unfailing wit and uncontrollable nervous energy. He loved the way he felt when he looked at you. He loved the sound of your giggly cheers when you were both in the air. Most of all, he loved the way your lips felt on his. “Your hair grew back,” he repeated, this time with awe he couldn’t conceal. 

“Guess we’re one crazy-haired couple,” you joked. 

“I like the sound of that,” said James, pressing a kiss against your temple. 

You snuggled into him, frozen temperatures now trivial. “I’m keeping the heels, though. I like being tall.”

James snorted. “If you can walk in them.” He proceeded to slip out of the Cloak, stand, and put on a very realistic show of twisting his own ankle. 

“Shut up,” you said as he slid back in, snickering uncontrollably. Releasing the Snitch from your grip, you kissed him hard as it flapped in front of you. 

Without tearing his lips away, James reached for the Snitch and pocketed it. “I love you,” he whispered against your mouth. 

“I love you,” you said, tasting the words on your tongue for the first time, “but if we stay out here, I’ll freeze.”

“Let’s go have our own fun,” said James with another kiss and a wink to follow. “I could get used to this, you know.” 

“Me too, Captain. Me too.”  

Taglist: @iwritesiriusly @mads-bri @she-seeks-magic @sarcasticallywitty15 

[wesimpforxiao]

A spur-of-the-moment One-shot?

Be warned, heavy angst XD DISCLAIMER: DOES NOT PERTAIN TO SAY MY NAME AND I’LL BE THERE(and no I’m not killing anyone off in that story you guys can relax cuz it’s a promise!  I’d recite Teucer’s pinkie promise lines but I can’t remember them at the moment haha)  

....

What was it that you cared most about?  Was it the village you risked your life to protect?  The safety of your friends and family?  Him?  Or your own life?

You didn’t really have time to think of an answer when yet another blow crashed into you and sent you flying into the field.  The sickening crunch of bone as you hit the ground was probably heard by your offender.  One last shot.  One last shot.  You grit your teeth through the pain and sat up, shoulder slack from the impact of their last attack.

“DIE HERE!”  A mix of ice and flame torched your attacker, their screams echoing in the dead of night until they disintegrated into ash.  But just as you thought the torment was over, your gaze fell to the ever-widening gash at your side.  “Ah.”  It appears my delusion and vision outperformed this time.  A wry chuckle left your lips, and you sank back into the dewy grass that willingly soaked the blood up like it was an offering to the soil.

What did it all mean, in the end?

Hi, Xiao.  Your whispers of a greeting reached the ears of the yaksha, who was somewhere south of here.  I know it’s late, but I just wanted to say hello.  What good would it do to call your dear friend here?  You couldn’t feel your toes anymore; the tips of your fingers were becoming numb and the palms of your hands tingled.  I hope your day went well.  Have some almond tofu for me, would ya?

The arrogation of mankind won out yet again; this was a fitting end to your self-proclamation of godhood.  That yaksha of yours would probably remind you of it if he were here right now.  Truth be told, it’d be nice to have some company in your final moments, but it wouldn’t be right to have him witness the fall of another one of his companions.

Yet he knelt beside you anyway.

“Y-You shouldn’t be here,” a miniscule smile rose upon your bloody lips.  “My village isn’t too far.  Could you be a peach and make sure everyone is alright for me?”

Xiao’s fingers trailed to your side and peeled the fabric away from your skin, his face twisting into a scowl when he caught the glint of the delusion in your hand.  “You shouldn’t have tha--”

“Come on, you know I can’t...I can’t help myself.”  Your laugh turned into a coughing fit, and he retracted his hand.  He didn’t seem at all surprised to find you at death’s door; that’s how reckless of a human you were.

“The wound is too deep.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“It will be slow.”

“I know.”

“Are you in pain?”  How is she even conscious?

“I feel warm and fuzzy, nothing else.”  The yaksha observed your labored breathing for a moment, the sound of the crickets filling the gaps of silence.  “You should go.  I’d like...to die in peace.  Please.”

“Fool,” he growled.  “I will not.”  For he knew you well enough to know you wanted him, needed him here even though you said the exact opposite.  Just like him.  It was the main connection the two of you had; your minds both focused on protecting others by pushing them away.

“I’d rather not have someone,” a deep, slow breath, “watch me pass.”  He was getting a bit blurry.  “It’s creepy, you know.”  So sleepy...

“Rest here,” he encouraged with a hand warming your forehead.  He ignored the slight lump that had formed in his throat.  The death of a companion was never easy, but he’d have to bear it.  He will join his friends one day...but until then, this wouldn’t get to him.  It couldn’t.  He forced himself to hold your unsteady gaze and swallowed the hurt that began to constrict his chest.  You will not see me break in your final moment.  “Rest here, and die knowing I stayed with you to the end, friend.”

What a soft voice, a soft expression from your dear companion.  “...yes...”  You were determined to hold his gaze as long as your eyes allowed you to, and your hand met his warm one at your forehead.  “Th-Thank you, Xiao.”

The lone yaksha let out a long, heavy sigh after you took your last breath.

......

ALTERNATE ENDING (Cursing warning.  Also, this one is worse ;-;)

“Sh-Shit,” a half-hearted laugh left your lips when your hand retracted from your side to reveal a lot of blood.  “A-haha, X-Xiao’s gonna make a fuss about this.”  You forced yourself to lie down in the dewy grass, biting the inside of your cheek to refrain from yelping when your broken shoulder touched the ground.

Hey, Xiao.  You blinked the tears of both fear and pain away as you stared up at the night sky.  ‘Just breathe,’ you thought.  ‘No need to panic.’ But the searing pain within your stomach told you there was a need to freak out a bit.  You could only imagine how badly your organs were damaged...How was your day?  Sorry if my prayers are a bit repetitive.  It’s just nice to talk sometimes.

“Tch.”  Another wince of pain and suddenly Xiao was standing above you.  “Ah...you shouldn’t be here.  M-My village is...”

“Do not speak.”  The adeptus knelt beside you and peeled the fabric away from your stomach.  “Your village is fine.”

“Promise?”  Screw holding the facade, this hurt like hell.  You squirmed when his fingertips grazed you.  “Ngh! Stop!”

“The wound is too deep.”

“I know!”  Reality finally set in, and your breathing quickened in a panic.  At least the adrenaline numbed a little bit of the pain, but it paled in comparison to whatever damage was done to your stomach.  “F-fuck, get away from me.”  Your growl didn’t faze him, but something flickered across his face when you began to cough up an unruly amount of blood.

“It will be slow.”  His gaze caught yours. “Painful.”

“I-I know,” tears stung the corners of your eyes.  The pain was only getting worse.  “Please leave me to die here.  Go on, now.  You don’t have to be here.  Shoo.”

“Fool,” he sneered.  “Of course I have to.”  

“It’s creepy to watch me like this,” you forced a laugh, but more blood came up instead.  “Ugh...haah, it hurts too much.”  The yaksha stroked your hair somewhat awkwardly in an attempt to soothe you.  “X-Xiao...I...please end it.”

Xiao watched you carefully, his hand stilling.  “You want me to end your suffering?”

“Y-yes, please!”  Every breath invited a pain equivalent to being burned, every movement invited what felt like knives into your organs.  “P-Please.  I know...I know it’s a lot to ask.  But I’d rather it be by your hand.”

It wouldn’t be the first time he’s had to do this, but a pain still shot through him at the thought of your death.  He was looking forward to your endless bickering for the next several years, looking forward to savoring this last banter with you, but if you were in that much pain, so be it.  He summoned his polearm, and caught the brief panic in your eyes when you realized the blade was much bigger than you remembered.  “You’re certain?”

“Just...Just make it quick, please?”

He lifted you enough so he could envelop you in his embrace.  “Rest now, my companion.”

A sharp yelp echoed through the field as his blade pierced the center of your chest until it had pierced through the other side.  Your grip on his arm tightened for a few long seconds as you drew your last breaths.  “..th...thank you...”  His stiff stroking of your hair soothed your anxiety of letting go, but the stiffness wasn’t attributed to awkwardness of human contact--instead, it was grief.  Shock.  Sadness.  Whatever humans attributed this god-awful feeling to.

Yet another voice to haunt him.

So be it.

[uwuwriting]

Kuroo, Asahi and Tsukki dealing with a breakdown

Request: hi love ! may I request sum Kuroo, Asahi and Tsukki calming the reader from a breakdown? Life’s been p sucky lately ngl so i would appreciate this a bunch 🥺💗 hope you’re well !✨. -🍑

I haven’t done a Haikyuu request in a fat while. Did yall see Kuroo in the latest chapter? I mean if he asked he could be my baby daddy but oh well. Love ya.💖💖💖 

rules

warning: panic attack, fluff/comfort

Kuroo Tetsuro

-I believe that when he was younger Kenma used to have panic attacks all the time and the only person who was there for him was Kuroo.

-So he kinda knows what to do to help. 

-Don’t get too close.

-Give her space. 

-Don’t touch her unless she lets you.

-Give her time to breathe. 

-I legit believe he has a small list on his phone with what steps he should follow if you have a panic attack. 

-It breaks his heart though. 

-He will obliterate whoever triggered you and if it’s an inanimate object he’s gonna hide it. 

-While you’re having the attack Kuroo is the sweetest boyfriend out there. 

-His voice becomes very soft and calm, dropping to a whisper as his boyfriend voice takes over and that sassy know-it-all attitude flying out the window. 

-He will crouch down to your level only reaching out to brush some strands of hair out of your eyes. 

-He knows he might be breaking the no touching rule but he can’t help it. 

-His fingers don’t graze your skin as he moves your hair. 

- “Kitty cat can you look at me please? Yes baby me focus on me. There we go.” 

-He would give you one of his softest smiles.  

- “Can I hold you kitty? I’m here no matter what.”

-When you nod he takes you gently into his arms, his hand running through your hair as the other rubs circles into your back. 

-He would kiss your forehead repeating how much he loves you and how happy he is to have you in his life.

-As your trembling subsides he will scoop you up asking you to wrap your legs around his waist to hold on. 

-He will go around your apartment gathering blankets and pillows, throwing them on the couch. 

- “Y/N, sweetheart, what do you want to eat?”

-He will order your favorite take out and cuddle you on the couch. 

-He will ask if you want to tell him what triggered you. 

-If you do tell him he will try to help you prevent this from happening in the future. 

-Whether it’s avoiding a particular subject or straight up crossing off people from your friends list, he will do it. 

-Nothing hurts his baby and gets away with it. 

-If you don’t want to talk about it, he won’t push it. 

-On the contrary he will just hold you closer to his chest and will try to get your mind off of things. 

-He will talk about anything and everything, telling you bad jokes just to get you to smile.

-If you giggle he will puff out his chest in victory, showering you with kisses for gifting him with that beautiful laugh. 

-He hates seeing you so broken. 

-If he can prevent it trust me he will.

Asahi Azumane

-Um king of mini heart attacks. 

-He used to have them too and he still does but he has grown to know how to handle them. 

-Just like Kuroo he will get you as far away from the source as possible, leaving everything and everyone behind just to get you to breathe. 

-His stuttering is gone. 

-His confident and strong self is out of the box. 

-He is ready to take charge.

-His baby needs him okay?

-His anxiety will not get in the way of protecting you. 

-He knows not to overwhelm you although the first time you had an attack in front of him that knowledge flew out the window. 

-He swore to never make that same mistake again. 

-Talks you through the whole attack, his voice being your anchor to reality. 

-He soothes your nerves with his words, coaxing your breathing to go back to normal. 

-After you are calm this surprises you beyond belief, your shy socially anxious boyfriend is so good with words?

-Who could have thought. 

-Anyways. 

-Just like Kuroo he will ask to touch you after he has calmed your breathing and you are not hyper ventilating. 

-Will wrap you up in one of his gigantic hoodies, his scent comforting you as he rocks you back and forth while kissing your forehead. 

-When you reciprocate his hugs and leave some kisses of your own on his cheek he knows that it’s mission accomplished. 

-He still kinda hovers over you just in case something happens and you go back under. 

-You will insist on thanking him with some take out but he refuses. 

- “Angel I’m the one taking care of you tonight.”

-He settles you on the living room couch, joining you shortly after and pushing you backwards to lay on his chest. 

-Cuddle session activated. 

-He will chase your demons away with cuddles. 

-He keeps whispering reassurances and praises. 

-How happy and lucky he is.

-How in love with you he is. 

-How proud of your accomplishments he is. 

-Just the right things to make you feel better. 

Tsukishima Kei

-Almost has one himself.

-The moment he feels your trembles and sees your terror stricken look, the panic settles in. 

-His normal attitude behavior is gone replaced by deep worry.

-He just stands there observing you for a fat minute, the only thing he can do is stare as your breathing becomes more erratic. 

-Then he kneels down, his hands mere inches away from your form. 

-But he is afraid. 

-Afraid he’ll make things worse. 

-Afraid he wouldn’t be able to help you.

-Afraid he’ll break you. 

-But then he hears a really small and muffled Tsukki coming from you as you dig your fingers in your hair and he lunges forward. 

- “Shh princess I’m here. Nothing’s going to hurt you while I’m here.”

-For a moment your trebling worsened because of the sudden contact but when Tsukki’s scent invaded your panic stricken mind you let him hug you. 

-He is at loss here. 

-He doesn’t know what to do.

 -No one had had a panic attack in front of him before and he didn’t know what to say to make you feel better. 

-It’s the only moment he wishes he was more like Yamaguchi. 

-He would know what to do, his caring nature would have been a bonus. 

-But he was not Yamaguchi and he didn’t have time to think like that. 

-You need him at that’s the only thing that matters. 

- “Baby listen to me, I need you to follow my breathing. Yes..yes just like that baby, just like that. Breathe with me.”

-Like that he steadies your breathing and his next target is your trembling. 

-His hands will rub cricles on your back, arms, stomach or he will run them through your hair massaging your scalp.

-When you eventually calm down fully he won’t let you out of his embrace. 

-Like legit goes around the house with you in his arms like a koala bear. 

-So many kisses that it gets weird. 

-Tsukishima has never been a specifically affectionate partner so seeing him so soft and caring is off putting. 

-But you don’t complain. 

-He will ask you to tell him what helps you when you have the attacks and will write them down for future use. 

-He will ask what triggered you  but won’t push it. 

-He will never tell you this but it breaks his heart into a million pieces seeing you cry like that. 

-He hates it with his whole being. 

-And will do anything to never see it again. 

TAG TEAM AY:

@iwaqchan​ @the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @reinyrei​ @dnarez​

[chiseler]

Hero of Our Nation

I first encountered Roger Ramjet on a Chicago public access station in 1983. It was part of an early morning show apparently aimed at stoner insomniacs. The show came on at five and also included episodes of Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp, that awful Beatles cartoon, and a weather report clarified by some appropriate pop song (“Here Comes the Sun” or “Here Comes the Rain Again”). I was usually up and around that early for some godforsaken reason, and originally started watching on account of Lancelot Link. Always did love that Lancelot Link. But Roger Ramjet was, well, let’s just say it was a revelation.

Roger Ramjet, “ that All-American good guy and devil may care flying fool” (as he compulsively introduces himself) was a none too bright and none too coordinated drug-dependent space age superhero in an ongoing battle against the assorted forces of evil (or more specifically, N.A.S.T.Y.) to preserve the American Way of Life. He was square-jawed, straight-laced, straight-faced, and True Blue if little else, so hyper-patriotic that nearly every time his name is spoken aloud an American flag, a bald eagle, or a rotating ring of stars appears on the screen. After catching one or two episodes, I forgot all about Lancelot Link.

The show was easy to overlook, especially when squeezed between the Beatles and some secret agent chimps with a psychedelic band. The episodes were only five minutes long (maybe seven with the abrasive theme song filling out the opening and closing credits), and were so crudely drawn and animated it might at a glance seem like something a couple of junior high school kids threw together in their basement one weekend. The shows were so primitive they hardly bothered with niceties like “backgrounds” satisfied instead to settle for rudimentary suggestions of a setting. But the writing was so sharp and the voice talent so good what it really felt like, if you paid attention, was a spoof of a ‘40s radio serial like Sky King or Gangbusters, complete with a soap opera organ and illustrated by a handful of jerky drawings scratched out by someone’s kid. People who thought Jay Ward’s Bullwinkle and Dudley Do-Right were crude when compared with the output from Disney or Warner Brothers had no idea what “crude” meant. 

Looking at it today what it reminds me of more than anything are the paper cutout animations of the earliest episodes of South Park, before they upgraded to Flash. Along with the lo-fi stylistics, the humor was clearly aimed at an adult audience while pretending otherwise.  You may not find any child molestation jokes or crass religious cracks in Roger Ramjet, but for 1965 the lightning-fast humor was pretty hepcat and sophisticated, with undisguised satirical references to the Cold War, Central American turmoil, and the  Vietnam War (“Hey kids, this is Roger Ramjet,” demanding that you stay tuned to this station to see my next adventure,” Roger announces in his commanding superhero baritone. “Or I’ll see to it that all you little rascals are drafted.”) . Mixed in with the topical jokes we also get some highly unlikely name drops, from Noel Coward and Henry Cabot Lodge to James Joyce and bawdy nightclub performer Rusty Warren, as well as film parodies and  literary nods to the likes of Catch-22 and Catcher in the Rye.  It’s also a little less than what you might call racially sensitive by modern standards (consider Mexican revolutionaries The Enchilada Brothers, Beef and Chicken).

While a lot of the more timely jokes might be lost in the murk of the over 50 years since it first aired, there’s plenty of rapid-fire absurdity that’s timeless, from the misspelled title cards punctuating the narration to the self-consciously dumb coked-up adventures.

Bullwinkle aired from ‘61 to ‘64. Roger Ramjet came along a year later and Jay Ward’s influence is undeniable. The difference was Roger Ramjet crammed the equivalent number of bad jokes, references, and plot twists of a typical 8-part Bullwinkle serial into each five-minute episode, both mirroring the rapid-fire screwball dialogue of the ‘30s and the frenetic quick-cut comedy to come along a year or two later in shows like The Monkees and Laugh-In.

The episodes were produced with essentially no budget and were cranked out very quickly by a small team of writers, voiceover artists and animators with solid day jobs in radio and TV. They were all seasoned pros, some dating back to the days of classic radio, who worked on the show after hours as a way of letting off a little steam and tossing around a few cynical, subversive  cultural jabs their day jobs wouldn’t allow. The show was created originally by animator Fred Crippen  (who went on to work on some pretty dreadful crap like the Extreme Ghostbusters  and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) and Ken Snyder, an ad exec who moved over into producing cartoons. They brought in a remarkable team of voice talent and comedy writers, including Gene Moss (the voice of Smokey the Bear) Jim Thurmam (who did a lot of kids shows including Sesame Street), Dick Beals (the original voice of Gumby), and the great Gary Owens, a drive-time deejay in LA who would get national recognition soon enough as the on-screen announcer for Laugh-In. Although they would all get specific credits in the end (Crippen as director, Moss as a writer) it was a communal effort, in which everyone contributed to the writing, and everyone, even the executive producer, did a few of the voices. Apart from the regular crew, careful listeners might also catch a few uncredited guest appearances by some surprisingly big names (I’m told Sinatra and Dean Martin appear in an episode, but I’m still looking for that one). Owens was the star, though, as his ability to read the most ridiculous lines in a dramatic deadpan made him the perfect Roger Ramjet. Together they made 156 episodes (about 150 still exist), which were sold directly into syndication in ‘65 as half hour shows, each containing three unconnected adventures. I can’t say as I’m exactly sure who they thought their target audience was at the time, except maybe each other.

Much like William Conrad in Bullwinkle, each show opened with our narrator, Steve Allen alum Dave Ketchum, setting the mood and the scene (“In today’s depressing episode,” he’d begin with dramatic enthusiasm, or maybe it was an “existentialist episode,” “phlegmatic episode,” “rickety episode,”  “hairy episode,” or “ethnic episode”). Then we’re out of the gate at a breakneck pace, with a flurry of gags coming from every direction. “Ramjet rode into Boot Hill,” we’re told,  “where the men were men and the women were men, which can get pretty old after awhile.”

While none of the shows are connected, there are a few recurring characters and locations worth remembering: Roger hails from Lompoc, an actual California town (“where nothing ever happens, and seldom does”) and  takes his orders from General G.I. Brassbottom, a no nonsense military man who “hadn’t had an original idea since he was a civilian.” He’s also assisted by Yank, Doodle, Dan, and Dee, the unusually chubby  kids who make up the American Eagle squadron. Like Roger, all the members of the squadron wear their white jumpsuits and flight helmets at all times (Roger even wears his helmet on dates), and in true superhero sidekick fashion, their primary job is to get Roger out of scrapes and make sure his drugs are handy. 

That’s one little detail more than a few casual viewers have taken umbrage with. Roger, see, is a pretty hapless character most of the time, but he repeatedly saves the world thanks to a little help from his Proton Energy Pills (PEP), which take five seconds to kick in, then give him the strength of 20 A-Bombs for 20 seconds. Modern viewers seem a little uncomfortable with the idea of a superhero gulping amphetamines in order to function, but all I can say is, well, it was a different time, and hey, it worked for Roger and Elvis both.

The proton energy pills come in handy when dealing with his arch-nemesis Noodles Romanoff, the short, trench coat and fedora wearing head of N.A.S.T.Y. (the National Association of Spies, Traitors, and Yahoos). Romanoff may not have a Natasha, but he does have a gang of cronies and thugs who all mumble in unison (save for one, who can’t seem to get the rhythm). 

Along with Romanoff and his gang, Roger also has to contend with some lanky alien robots, the Solenoids (voiced by executive priducer Ken Snyder), and their repeated efforts to invade the planet in assorted ridiculous ways (in one episode, they begin kidnapping all the Miss America contestants, who “were disappearing faster than co-eds at a Dartmouth weekend.”)

When not saving the world, Roger found himself competing with the smarmy hotshot test pilot Lance Crossfire (who sounds an awful lot like burt Lancaster) for the affections of Lotta Love, the fickle Southern belle with a taste for the finer things in life.

Then there are the adventures themselves. Some seem standard superhero fare, but only to a point. Earth is besieged by flying saucer attacks (sort of). Roger’s hometown is terrorized by a werewolf (sort of). Roger plays tennis with a kangaroo, or becomes the first man to surf in space,  or, in a personal favorite, attempts to stop the flow of bootleg comic books into America’s drug stores.

Actually, there’s an interesting moment in that one that revealed just how subtle you could be even with animation this unsophisticated. Okay, so Noodles Romanoff, see, is replacing real comics in drug store racks with bootlegs in which popular superheroes are humiliated, all in an effort to destroy the morale of America’s children. After Brassbottom shows Roger a few examples (the issues include “Superman Gets Beat Up by a Chicken!” and “Ratman Stubs His Toe!”) he explains that if this sort of thing continues, “America’s kids won’t have anyone to look up to except YOU, Ramjet.” Then, for just an instant in that crude and jerky style, Roger cuts his eyes toward the camera, revealing in that moment everything we needed to know, namely that it’s what he’s always wanted.

Thirty years on and that still sticks with me.

In the end, though, the characters and storylines are secondary at best In Roger Ramjet. At heart it’s  a matter of trying to keep up with all the lightning-quick  jokes and wordplay, the non-sequiturs and references. In the five minute span of one cowboy-themed episode I counted nods to at least seven classic Western films, from High Noon to She Wore a Yellow Ribbon, and I suspect I missed a few. It really is such a dizzying blur of dialogue and bad puns and cultural references, sometimes, christ, even just references to old jokes that take the form of bad puns (“Waiter, there’s a spy in my soup” or “how many angels can swim in the head of a beer?”), that absurd as it all is, repeated viewings are a necessity to catch everything. It’s a bit like having the complete contents of an issue of MAD magazine jammed onto a single page. It can make your head hurt after a while, but it’s worth it. Whether the density and the pace make it better or worse for stoner viewing is something, I guess, each stoner will need to answer for him or herself. Lots of bright colors, though.

In 1965 there was nothing new about making cartoons with adult sensibilities in mind. Betty Boop and Bugs Bunny were made to be shown as short subjects to largely adult audiences. Jay Ward’s cartoons a few decades down the line were near-revolutionary for smuggling hip, subversive political humor into what had become an exclusively child-friendly format. What made Roger Ramjet so radical was it’s blend of ‘30s radio style with mid-’60s cynicism, as well as its foreshadowing of our shrinking attention spans, a hyper-condensed proton pill of comedy and commentary disguised as just another dumb, low-rent superhero cartoon. Although it’s barely remembered today, its influence is still evident in most any subversive animated show you can name, even if they’ve slowed things down a bit.

by Jim Knipfel

[blackcloverdatabase]

English Translation of Novel 3: Chapter 2 – The Man Known as Julius (Part 1 of 2)

Here’s the first half of the last untranslated chapter from Book of Yuno! This one features Julius, Yuno, and Bell taking care of an orphaned baby boar. It’s adorable and also a little heartbreaking! Charlotte and Jack also get to meet the lil’ guy!

Also, aside from a few tweaks at the beginning, this translation is appended to the translation of the first few pages that the Black Clover discord was kind enough to supply to me. I didn’t see any translation errors when I scanned through it and I liked the writing style of whoever did those first few pages, so a part of this translation also comes from the generous soul who had started this translation before me. 

--- The Man Known as Julius (Part 1) ---

Julius Novachrono.

He is a man who needs no introduction, reigning over the Order of Magic Knights as the Wizard King. The entire Order moves at his command, protecting the peace of Clover Kingdom both day and night.

He himself possesses no small degree of combat ability, stationed at the top of the Order as he is, and he has led his troops to victory through countless battles. Even after ascending to his current position as the Wizard King, he continues to find his way to the battlefield, demonstrating impressive skills in all areas.

He is the hero of the Clover Kingdom, a source of inspiration for all Magic Knights – No, for all the Kingdom’s citizens.

That's just the sort of person Julius is.

And yet, despite all of that......

"All right, all right!! Sorry I'm late~ I brought plenty of feed for you!"

At this very moment, that inspirational figurehead to all the Kingdom was – Julius was…..

"C'mon, you gotta eat up! I got lotsa food for you! A ha ha! Now now, no shoving! Take your time!"

......grinning from ear to ear and speaking in baby-talk with a soft, sweet tone......

"Oh gosh, you're TOO cute! Seriously, you're way too cute, Graham! I feel like when I'm talking to you, my manner of speaking just becomes shamefully bad...... Well, whatever! Not like there's anyone else around to hear, huh?"

…….to a baby boar as he delivered its feed.

Staying hidden as he watched, Yuno managed to keep a straight face on the outside, but internally, he was shaking. Bell, clearly shaken as well, was thinking exactly the same thing as him: They weren’t quite sure what they were looking at, but they knew they had just witnessed something pretty damn crazy.

How did they stumble across such a crazy sight? Fret not, it won't take long to explain.

 That day, Yuno and Bell had been on patrol near the outskirts of Tonan, a town in the Common Realm. A group of bandits had been staging raids in the area as of late, and it was rumored that one of the bandits possessed an "Original Sin" grimoire. Thus, Magic Knights were being sent out in pairs to patrol the area in shifts.

Yuno and Bell found themselves on duty that day, and after finishing up their patrol with a Knight from another squad, they traded off with the pair who had come to relieve them and slipped away into a forest just a short walk from the town's borders.

They were here to train in preparation for the Royal Knights Selection Exam, which would be held a few days from now.

After the "hot springs training camp" put on by Mereoleona Vermillion (which was one heck of a euphemism for forced mountain climbing and attempted murder), Yuno had mastered "Mana Skin", the technique wherein the user continuously channels a fixed amount of magical energy and uses it to protect their body or increase their physical ability.

However, if he wanted to pass the Selection Exam, if he wanted to demonstrate his skill over Asta, he needed to take his abilities up another notch... no, another two notches if he could manage it.

And so, at every opportunity he could find between missions, Yuno slipped away in search of a secluded little enclave to train.

On this particular day, while on the hunt for a bit of privacy, he came across a hut standing beside a small pond. From the outside, it looked like a long-abandoned cabin, but the footprints he found near the entrance were fresh. Was this the bandits' hideout......? Only one way to find out. Taking care not to be noticed, Yuno silently approached the cabin.

However, it was then that he noticed a young boar with its body and legs wrapped in gauze. This, he found quite suspicious, but before he could move any closer to inspect, he caught sight of someone heading straight for the cabin using Flight Magic.

Panicking, Yuno dove into the bushes to hide, peeking out to see just who had arrived…...

"Gra~~~ham~~~ Were you a good little boy? Were you? Were you??"

Speaking in the most babyish voice Yuno had ever heard, it was none other than Julius Novachrono who came descending from the heavens. Upon landing, he approached the cabin, bearing feed for the boar, and removed his dirty bandages while stroking him gently......

 Which brings us back to the present.

 "Theeeeere there there! Now, let's get your bandages changed!"

Tearing their gazes from the sight of Julius letting loose with even more heinous baby talk, Yuno and Bell glanced at one another. Evidently, Julius was out here taking care of this boar. That much was obvious, but......

Bell dropped her voice, whispering softly to Yuno,

"…...Wh-what do we do, Yuno?"

"There's nothing for us to do," he returned shortly. "Because we didn't see anything, got it? Let's just head back."

That was best for all parties involved. Yuno had absolutely no desire to see Julius acting like that, and Julius probably wouldn't have wanted anyone to spot him out here either. Thankfully, Julius didn't seem to have noticed he was being watched, probably as much to do with the fact that Yuno had disguised their presence as the fact that Julius was absolutely enthralled with playing with the little boar and was paying little attention to his surroundings.

If he was going to make a break for it, it needed to be now. However, Bell leered with squinted eyes,

"...But, you know, that poor little thing really doesn't seem like he's enjoying the attention..."

This much Yuno could see. Actually, it was impossible not to notice. The little boar was squirming and squealing up a storm as Julius attempted to change his bandages, desperately attempting to flee. There was no mistaking that attitude as one of a fond pet.

"…...Neither one of us knows what's going on here. It's not our place to say anything."

"Yeah, I guess you're right…..."

"Plus......"

Yuno glanced back to Julius, who, despite the boar's fierce attempts to escape, was doing his best to see to its needs, and even looked happy doing so. Julius looked like he was having the time of his life, eyes bright with elation - just as he seemed to when he was talking about magic or chatting with the squad Captains he trusted so much. It was true that Yuno didn't want to get involved in whatever was going on here, but he also didn’t want to interrupt Julius when he was so utterly enthralled.

"Plus what?"

"Forget it. Let's go." With that, Yuno was about to stand up, but then......

"SQUEEEEEEAAAAAL!!"

The boar let out a particularly shrill scream, and Julius instantly drew back just as the boar released a huge burst of flame.

"W-what the heck is THAT?!"

"That boar...it must be a Flame Boar! They're a special breed that can use Fire Magic!"

A normal boar was one thing, but keeping an animal of this nature as a pet was forbidden…… though, that hardly mattered right now.

Yuno leapt from the bush, rushing to Julius's side. "Your Majesty! Are you all right?"

In retrospect, that had been rather stupid of him. After all, what could a Flame Boar possibly do that could in any way harm the Wizard King? It was patently clear he didn’t have a single scratch on him, no burns of any sort, and even the cabin itself remained safe from any flying sparks.

"......Yu-Yuno-kun........!?"

Julius's face was so red, he could have started spitting fire himself.

"H-h-how...how long--how long h-h-have you...been w-watching...me...?"

"I didn't see anything I didn't hear anything PLEASE EXCUSE ME, SIR!"

Yuno sputtered before promptly turning on his heel and darting off. It was a rather forcible retreat, admittedly, but he was convinced it was the best course of action. What had just transpired would only reflect badly on the both of them, so pretending it had never happened at all was for the best.

“W-wait! P-please hear me out!”

However, Julius chased after him, his expression desperate.

"W-wait! Please wait! There's something I'd like your help with!"

……And when the Wizard King said that to you...well, you really had to stop, didn't you?

 “……So, this little one’s parents died, which is why you decided to take care of it here for the time being?”

After all that, Yuno and Bell were invited to sit on the bench in front of the cabin as Julius served them some tea and snacks. Both the tea and snacks looked rather extravagant, so Yuno couldn’t help but wonder if they were meant to bribe him to keep quiet. At the same time, Julius explained his circumstances to them.

“Yes. Well, in short, that is correct.”

As he watched Graham run around chasing butterflies, Julius continued,

“Not too long ago, I was passing by this area when I found two flame boars being attacked by bandits. Those were Graham’s parents.”

Bell grabbed a macaroon with both hands and stuffed it into her mouth as she asked Julius,

“Why did those bandits attack them? Were they hungry or something?”

“Flame boar fur has excellent heat resistance, so it’s sometimes used to make magic tools and the like. Because of that, it can be sold for a high price. Of course, that doesn’t make it right to kill them indiscriminately, so I rushed in to save them. I managed to capture the bandits, but…… it was already too late for Graham’s parents.”

On the outside, Yuno was expressionless as he nodded in agreement, but on the inside, he felt bitter. This was not an uncommon occurrence in areas that have been plagued by bandits. They indiscriminately kill, eat, and sell any animals unfortunate enough to live in their territory.

“Although he was injured, I at least managed to save Graham. However, I couldn’t just leave him, so I was going to drop him off at an animal shelter…... but no matter which shelter I tried, they all refused to take him.”

“Because it’s forbidden to keep a dangerous animal like a flame boar as a pet.”

Technically, if he made full use of his authority as the Wizard King, he would be able to force any facility to keep Graham. However, that would surely cause trouble for the breeders and the other animals they kept at the facility. As Yuno knew, Julius was not the sort of man who would do that. Julius shrugged lightly before replying,

“Right. That’s why I started taking care of him in secret. I’d like to keep him until he recovers from his injuries, at least.”  

Julius replied as if to substantiate the explanation that Yuno reached.

“I see…...”

Yuno said as he nodded. Although Yuno came to agree with him, Julius felt a small pang of guilt. His story wasn’t a lie, but it was not the whole truth, either. That’s because if Julius had used his time magic, he could have cured Graham’s injuries in an instant. However, if he did that, then Graham would grow up with the mistaken assumption that injuries can be cured easily. Julius wanted to avoid clouding Graham’s worldview for the convenience of humans any more than it already has.

Coming back from that tangent, Julius continued,

“That’s why I was wondering if you could keep this a secret for me? If it became known that the leader of the Magic Knights broke the rules, there would be a lot of trouble.”

Particularly from Marx. If Marx found out, there was no telling what Marx might say to him. It was easy to imagine what awaited in his future……

“You were raising an unusual pet, huh……? That’s the kind of thing an extravagant bachelor with too much time and money on his hands would do! Stop playing around and get back to work!”

……And he would continue on and on like that.

Yuno lightly tilted his head, completely unaware of Julius’s troubles.

“Of course. It was never my intention to tell anyone, but…… wouldn’t it be better to take care of Graham somewhere else? Bandits might go after him again, and Magic Knights take turns coming here almost every day, so you might get spotted again.”

“……That’s true, but……”

Julius pointed to a large rock a short distance from the cabin. Placed in front of that rock were two bouquets of flowers. Sometimes, Graham would sit at that rock and squeal in a very particular way. Yuno has heard these squeals before. It was the sound flame boars make when they are trying to get their parents’ attention. In other words, that was where……

Julius saw that Yuno understood and nodded.

“That was where Graham’s parents were killed. I think that’s why…... Graham refuses to leave this place.”

For the second time that day, Yuno felt a bitterness in his heart.

“…...I was raised in a village, so I’ve seen animals like that before. Some baby animals won’t leave their parents’ side, even after their parents have died. That’s probably happening here, too.”

Even if you pull that baby animal away from its parents’ bodies by force, it will likely return. In the end, it will probably die, either from being targeted by other animals or from illness caused by being near a corpse. If Julius wasn’t protecting him, that’s probably what would have happened to Graham.

“I thought about using magic to move his parents’ corpses, but…… it would be a problem if Graham thought I was playing with them. In the end, I decided to bury them here.”

“……I see.”

Bell said, looking sorrowfully at Graham. She then clenched her hand into a little fist and said,

“Wizard King! You’re really something! It’s really cool that you’re willing to go so far for a single wild boar!”

“……Hey, Bell. You’re being rude.”

“Ha ha, I don’t mind, Yuno-kun. Miss Wind Spirit, I’m happy to hear you say that. By the way, can I try mixing your magic with mine? Just for a bit?”

“I’m Yuno’s, so no way! However, I kinda like you, so you’re allowed to call me Bell!”

Bell was being incredibly impertinent as she said this, but Julius’s response was simply to smile gently and say,

“That’s too bad. Well, I’m happy that I can call you by your name!”

He possesses great power, he shows tolerance toward anyone, and he holds compassion even for animals. That’s the kind of person Julius is. The kind of person Yuno - and Asta - were aiming to become was as grand as ever. Moreover, Yuno was only looking at a small part of the Wizard King. Despite this, he understood that the Wizard King was a grand existence. If he could see everything, just how grand would he be……? Even trying to imagine it made him feel overwhelmed.

‘Even so, someday I’ll…..!’

As such thoughts reignited in Yuno’s chest, Julius cleared his throat as if to move on to a new subject.

“This brings me to what I wanted to ask you…… Just as you said, this is not a good place to be raising an animal, and I’m also too busy to take care of Graham by myself……”

He appeared rather uncomfortable as he looked at Yuno and Bell.

“That is…… I know this is a selfish request, but you seem like you wouldn’t spill a secret, so…… could you maybe…… help me take care of Graham?”

‘I knew this was coming……,’ Yuno thought as he weighed his options. For Julius, it would make things quicker and easier if Yuno and Bell cooperate now that they’ve seen this place. However, keeping it a secret from the Order of Magic Knights was definitely going to be troublesome.

“Of course, I’m not asking you this as the Wizard King. I’m asking you as a person, so there’s nothing wrong with saying no. You’ll end up breaking the rules, too…… it would be troublesome for you if you get discovered, and you could run into trouble here, too.”

That’s right. If something were to happen here, he wouldn’t be able to get here in time to help Yuno. This was not a task one should carelessly take on.

“Of course. If you’re alright with us helping you, we would love to.”

“Right, of course you’d say no…… the Royal Knights Selection Exam is coming up and you have your own duties to…... WAIT, REALLY!?”

Julius had crestfallenly lowered his head, but then he raised his head back up in surprise and sputtered,

“Huh, a-are you sure!? You’re going to take on this task, just like that……?”

“Yes. I can do my duties as a Magic Knight here…... Plus, if I let a thought like “something bad might happen” stop me, then I’d never get anything done.”

The second half of what he said came from his own experiences as a child. In life, if you don’t do anything, then nothing will happen. He didn’t want that. If you find yourself unable to move because of all your negative thoughts, it’s sometimes necessary to just try doing whatever you want before thinking about what you should do. This was something he learned from watching that guy live his life. He wasn’t sure if this was one of those times, but, at the very least…...

“Also, you said that I would be breaking the rules, but I’m just helping you because I think that’s the right thing to do. I think that for most people, doing what they think is right would be the correct thing to do.”

……Yuno knew that he liked what Julius was doing. That’s why he was going to help him without worrying about problems that may or may not happen later. Wanting to support that idea, Bell whirled around Julius and said,

“That’s right! That’s absolutely right! Actually, it’s weird that you’re doing something so cool so sneakily by yourself! At the very least, you should let us help you!”

“You guys……”

Julius appeared a little surprised as he said this, but then,

“……I see. William truly is blessed with some good kids.”

He nodded as if he came to understand something before calmly smiling once more.

“Thank you, really! Well then, I’ll be counting on you two!”

Yuno bowed his head with a smile before looking around at his surroundings.

“Even so, it really is dangerous to be raising an animal here. If we don’t take measures soon, then……”

“Y-yeah…… You really are a good kid. You’re able to look at things pragmatically so quickly……”

Julius wanted to bask in the warm, snug atmosphere they just created for a little longer, but…… now wasn’t really the time for that. Julius grabbed a large sack that was left at a corner of the cabin and brought it to Yuno and Bell.

“I’ve already done something about that. I bought all sorts of magic tools for dealing with bandits or other Magic Knights.”

Julius pulled out one expensive-looking magic tool after another from the bag.

“Umm, this one is a jewel that keeps evil away. I’m pretty sure this one is a collar that seals away magical power. And this one is a magic tool that keeps others from being able to sense your mana, even if they use mana perception. Also, this one is…...”

As he pulled each tool out, he explained in detail what each one of them did with a huge grin on his face. Yuno and Bell, who felt nothing but respect for Julius just moments ago, started to think ‘This guy is kind of scary…….’. Just how much money and effort is he sinking into one wild boar? Bell whispered into Yuno’s ear,

“……Hey, Yuno. Is he one of those? He gave us all those reasons earlier, but…... maybe he’s just an old guy who wants to secretly raise a pet……?”

“Please don’t say that……. Just don’t.”

He may have sounded a little unconfident in his reply, but that’s not because he was starting to think the same thing Bell was thinking. Absolutely not.

“I read this in a book once, but unmarried bachelors in their 40’s tend to have a lot of money, and they want something to spend their money on, so they buy a pet. Then, that causes their paternal instincts to explode forth, so they end up spending even more money on it.”

“You’re talking about a normal unmarried bachelor in his 40’s. This man is the Wizard King. Don’t lump them together.”

“Hm? Yuno-kun, did you say something?”

“Nothing.”

And so, despite all his doubts and unease, his days taking care of Graham with Julius began.

 ----- The following morning -----

“Oh, Yuno-kun! Bell-kun! Thank you for taking care of him so early in the morning~”

Julius swooped down from the sky toward Yuno and Bell, who were training near the lake.

“Good morning. You’re up early too, your highness.”

“Yeah, I have a meeting to attend just before noon today, so I figured I’d stay here until then. What about you?”

“We have the day off today, so I’ve been training my magic by reinforcing the cabin and changing Graham’s bedding. Also, I think he’s still fine for now, but I was thinking that we should make a fence in preparation for when Graham becomes independent from his parents. It would be troublesome if he accidently wandered into one of the villages.

“……Y-yeah. You sure work fast. Adaptable, too.”

Julius said in surprise. From the start, Yuno was meticulous and diligent. He wanted to do as much as he could while he was here.

“Look, Graham! Your Daddy’s here!”

Bell said as she flew toward Graham, who was eating his feed in front of the hut. Julius had a questioning, but also happy expression on his face as he asked,

“……D-daddy?”

“Bell. Don’t call him weird names. It’s rude.”

“It’s fine, right? He’s practically acting like a surrogate dad!”

“Even so, calling him ‘Daddy’ is a little…...”

As Yuno and Bell continued, Julius’s face steadily became redder until he cleared his throat and interrupted,

“W-well, it’s fine, isn’t it? It feels a little uncomfortable to be called that, but it might be good for Graham. I’m not sure how I feel about it, though…..”

“Oh, well then I won’t call you that. I’m not going to force you to-

“Ah, no! Never mind! Let’s go with that!”

Julius interrupted before crouching down in front of Graham.

“Even so, you two are amazing for being able to feed Graham already. It took a lot of struggling on my part to get him to trust me enough to do that……”

Julius sounded a bit woeful as he said this. Yuno responded as he walked toward the hut,

“I’m not sure why, but animals have always liked me. Also, Bell is a wind spirit, so it might be easier for Graham to trust her over a human being. Actually……”

Yuno glanced at the tombstone for Graham’s parents as he continued,

“You began taking care of Graham right after his parents were killed. That would be the time when Graham would hate humans the most. The fact you managed to feed him and tend to his wounds despite that makes you even more amazing.”

It looked like Graham was putting up a lot of resistance yesterday when the Wizard King was changing his bandages, but that was probably just because his wounds still hurt. It’s not like Graham hasn’t opened his heart to him.

“The reason we’re able to get along with Graham right now is because of you, your highness. Isn’t the fact that Graham knows that not all humans are bad because you poured so much love into him?”

“Y-you think so? That would make me very happy, but……”

Julius sounded embarrassed as he replied before extending his hand toward Graham’s head.

“Graham~ It’s……. It’s Daddy. Daddy’s he-

“SQEEEA, SQEAAAL!”

CRUNCH

With full force, Graham chomped down on Julius’s fingers.

“……………”

A terribly awkward atmosphere arose between Julius and Yuno. In the meantime, Bell, who is incabable of reading the mood, tried her best to open Graham’s mouth as she reprimanded him.

“Hey, Graham! Stop that! You wouldn’t do that to me or Yuno, right!? It’s almost as if you don’t trust the Wizard King after all!”

Yuno went pale when he heard Bell utter the worst thing she could have possibly said, but Julius chided Bell with a stiff smile on his face.

“Ah, Ah ha ha! It’s fine, Bell-kun! I’m sure Graham’s just hungry!”

“What are you talking about!? Graham literally just ate!”

“Then, he’s probably just trying to play! Yeah! I’m sure he just wants to play with me!”

“Even so, he looks serious! It’s like he’s trying to bite your fingers off!”

“Bell! BELL! Just stop talking! Just stop!”

Unusually for him, Yuno raised his voice as he interrupted Bell, stopping her from uttering another word and gently pulling Julius’s fingers away from Graham. After that, Graham trotted away toward the lake to drink some water. Those hellish couple of seconds were finally over, but tears started to pool in Julius’s eyes.

‘Should I say something…..?’ Yuno thought, maybe about how Bell has a tendency to air-headedly stab people in the heart…… No, it was too late to say anything about that now, so he decided to change the subject as quickly as he could.  

“……Could you explain to me what all the magic tools you bought do again?”

Yuno truly did want to hear his explanation again. Julius explained everything so quickly yesterday that he didn’t get all the details.

“S-sure…… There’s a lot of them, but I think this one’s the most important one.”

Julius said, returning back to his usual self as he led Yuno inside the cabin. There, a sparkling red jewel was hidden under Graham’s bedding.

“This is a high-grade magic tool that wards away evil. It creates a barrier with this jewel at the center, and people with evil souls can’t cross through its barrier. That’s the only thing I bought the first day I decided to raise Graham, and I’ve kept this tool active this whole time.”

Bell, who returned to Yuno’s shoulder, gasped in admiration as she looked at the jewel and said,

“That’s a high-grade magic tool for ya! It would be great if every household…… or at least every village had one of these!”

“Ha ha, if we could do that, it would make our jobs as Magic Knights a lot easier. However, this jewel’s range is not very large, and this isn’t widely distributed. Moreover, one strong attack is enough to break this jewel’s barrier, so it’s not so omnipotent as one might think.”

“However, it’s more than enough to protect Graham from those bandits, right?”

Julius nodded at Yuno’s words and turned toward Graham, who was currently bathing in the lake. Around Graham’s neck was a collar with a nameplate attached.

“The next important tool is the collar I bought yesterday. That collar seals away magic. As long as he wears that, Graham won’t be able to use magic, so even if another Magic Knight finds us, they would think that he’s just an ordinary boar.”

Julius’s expression stiffened a bit before continuing.

“Well, not being found at all would be the best outcome, and hardly anyone would have any reason to come here, but…... just like you did, it’s possible that somebody could wander here by chance.”

After the three of them reflected on the “major accident” that happened yesterday, Yuno swiftly returned to the main subject and asked,

“……I see. What about the other tools?”

Following Yuno’s train of thought, Julius quickly began to explain the other tools.

“The other ones are magic tools which conceal our presence, make our mana less perceptible, and other things of that nature. Well, I’ll go ahead and explain what they all do in detail, and…… hm?”

Before he could finish talking, his expression suddenly became grim, and his gaze sharpened as he looked toward the direction of the village. Yuno looked in the same direction.

“……Somebody’s coming.”

“Yeah. I feel two sources of mana heading towards us. For now, let’s hide in the cabin.”

The two swiftly moved toward the cabin, but Bell looked at Graham and exclaimed,

“Wait! Is it alright to leave Graham like this!? We should all hide together!”

“No. We wouldn’t be able to make it in time. For the time being, let’s observe the situation. If something happens, we’ll all leave.”

Julius countered as they slipped into the cabin. Before long, two figures emerged from the forest……

“Kah kah! Look~ There’s nothing here. There’s nobody!”

The Captain of the Green Mantis, Jack the Ripper……

“How strange. I definitely felt powerful mana coming from here earlier……”

……And the Captain of the Blue Roses, Charlotte Roselei.

Two Magic Knights…... two Magic Knight Captains, no less, set foot on the lake shore. Judging by what they were saying, they must have sensed either Yuno’s or Julius’s presence. They probably noticed Julius’s mana when he flew here.

‘To think two bigshots like these would show up,’ Yuno thought, cold sweat dripping from his forehead.

“Why are Captains doing a mundane task like patrolling……?”

“…….Because the Royal Knights Selection Exam will be held soon. Even if it only helps a bit, Captains and Vice-Captains have been handling some of the routine tasks so that their squad members can focus on training for it.”

Julius explained calmly, but internally, his heart was pounding. It would be bad if they were found out by ordinary Magic Knights, but there was no mistaking that being found out by a Captain would be even worse. They nervously held their breaths in the cabin as they heard Charlotte say in a commanding tone of voice,

“Just in case, let’s split up and search the area.”

“Are you kidding me~ Damn, I was planning to get wasted at a bar until our shift ended.”

After that brief exchange, Charlotte began to trace the perimeter of the lake while Jack began investigating inside the forest, appearing very bored as he did so. Seeing this, Yuno frowned as he turned toward Julius.

“……What should we do? At this rate, we’ll be found any moment now.”

“We’re okay. Like I was saying earlier, I have a magic tool running that dulls other people’s mana perception abilities, so they won’t be able to sense our mana. I also have another tool running right now that inhibits other people’s ability to notice our presence. In other words, right now, they won’t be able to sense our presence nor our mana.”

‘If you have that much money to spend on magic tools, maybe you should put some of that money toward the Magic Knights,’ Yuno thought. In any case, if that’s all true, then their presence probably won’t be discovered. The problem was……

“……Hm? What’s this? A baby boar? What is it doing in a place like this……?”

Just as Yuno feared, Charlotte spotted Graham, and began to slowly make her way toward him. Surprised by her presence, Graham froze stiff. While he remained frozen, Charlotte crouched down to meet Graham at eye level.

“……So, you’re getting your wounds treated? You have a collar, too. Is someone feeding you here…..?”

She said as she extended her hand toward Graham’s collar.

‘Please don’t take his collar off…….!’ all three of them prayed as they watched her from inside the cabin.

“……..Graham? That’s what is carved here…… I see. So, your name is Graham?”

She muttered before looking around at her surroundings. It looked like she made particular note of whether Jack was still deep in the forest. After confirming that nobody else was around, she turned toward Graham once more, and……

“……Graham, come here. I won’t hurt you, so go ahead and sit on my lap~”

With great difficulty, but also great tenderness, she raised Graham up and placed him on her lap. Then with an innocent smile, much like the smile of a young girl, she hugged Graham’s body.

“Wow…… this is amazing. I though boar fur would be rough and scratchy, but it’s actually really fluffy. I wonder if it’s because you’re a baby. Tee hee, this feels nice. You’re so cute……”

“…………”

“You’re so small. Are you eating properly? I know, I’ll find something good for you to eat! What would you like to eat? Hm? I’ll buy anything you want~”

“…………”

The three inside the cabin continued to watch Charlotte dote on Graham, stiffly turning their heads toward each other. It was a different outcome then what they were expecting, but it was a crazy sight indeed.

“H-hey…… Yuno-kun……?”

This wasn’t the time to be asking this, but Julius couldn’t help but ask.

“……D-did I…… look like that when you found me……?”

“Quiet, your highness. It looks like Captain Jack has returned.”

Yuno brushed off Julius’s question and turned his gaze toward the forest. There, Jack was lumbering his way back. Charlotte noticed his presence, putting Graham down and standing back up on her feet. Her face was a bit red, so she tried to hide this with her hand as she asked him,

“……H-how was it, Jack? Did you find anyone?”

“Nope~ Not a single soul. Kah kah. It must’ve been your imagination.”

“……Maybe. It’s possible that Grah……. No, it’s possible that this injured boar’s owner came to check on him, and then headed home soon after.”

Charlotte left it at that and promptly started back toward the village.

“Anyway, we now know that no one else is here. Let’s return to the village and buy some feed…… no, let’s just go back to the village.”

“Huh? Ah, hey!”

She didn’t respond to Jack’s voice, opting instead to hurry into the forest as if she had some great mission to fulfill.

“Damn, what’s with her……? Anyway, I feel tired just being here. I feel like my physical strength and magical power is withering away. I wonder if some weird magic was cast here.”

Hearing Jack talk to himself, Yuno tilted his head in confusion.

‘What is he talking about? At the very least, I don’t feel any symptoms like that…...”

He turned toward Julius, searching for an answer from him. Julius’s reply was a little awkward as he explained,

“It’s probably the jewel that repels people with evil souls. Maybe that’s what happens when it only affects you halfway……?”

‘……I see. That Magic Knights Captain is recognized as a “halfway evil soul” by the jewel.’

Not knowing that this was the cause, Jack looked around as he muttered,

“Come to think of it, she mentioned there was a boar, but I don’t see it…… Ah, there it is.”

His eyes sharpened with a glint as they lowered toward Graham. Graham jumped in surprise as the three in the cabin watched the situation closely, feeling very different from when they were watching Charlotte. They were pretty sure that Jack wouldn’t get violent with Graham, but he might treat him roughly. That would be unpardonable. If it came to that, they would have no choice but to come out of hiding and stop him. They tensely watched over the situation to see which way it would go, but…...

“……What is he doing? Neither of them have moved an inch……”

Just as Yuno said, Jack was looking Graham in the eye with what seemed like no intention to move whatsoever. Because he was afraid, Graham also didn’t move, so it looked as if time had stopped for them both.

Bell hummed as she pretended to push up imaginary glasses,

“…...It’s just like when a bad wolf happens upon an abandoned puppy and the two come to a mutual understanding. Like, “So, you’re on your own, too…..?”, or something.”

“But he’s not on his own. He has a collar and bandages, so that much should be obvious.”

Yuno’s rebuttal was immediate, but Bell continued to dub over the other two with a hushed voice.

“I could save you, take you in as my henchman, but that would be too easy. If I do that, you’re gonna think that life is easy for as long as you live. It ain’t easy. Life is…… never easy.”

“That’s the kind of conversation two human beings would have. Also, don’t you think your image of Captain Jack is a little off?”

Yuno shot Bell down again, but then Jack headed toward the shoals of the lake and caught a fish using his Slash Magic. After that, he threw it next to Graham. Without skipping a beat, Bell continued,

“Whoops, my mistake…… I accidentally caught too many fish. Throwing them away would surely anger the gods, so I’ll give some to you. Now, young lad…… live, and grow up to be strong…….”

“Okay, that whole “gods” thing is really out of character for him. Just stop……”

“Well, I don’t know if he’d say it quite like that, but it looks like she more or less got it right…... At the very least, it appears that he won’t get rough with Graham.”

While the three of them were talking, Jack left the vicinity. After watching Jack’s figure disappear into the forest, Julius let out a huge sigh of relief.

“Whew, that scared me….. From now on, we should use magic tools that hide our magic power when we come here.”

“……You’re right. Actually, if you could find a magic tool that makes us invisible, that would be great.”

‘If we had that, we would’ve been able to escape before seeing all that,’ Yuno thought to himself as he came out of the hut with Julius.

“Are you okay, Graham? You must’ve been so scared!”

Bell said as he flew toward Graham. Graham squealed happily and started skipping about. Watching Graham behave so cheerfully, Julius had a wry smile on his face.

“Ah ha ha. I thought he’d be afraid, but he’s surprisingly okay. Have you gotten used to being around humans?”

“He might be able to relax around people who seem to hold good intentions.”

……Of course, those two seemed a little too interested in Graham, so there was another problem they had to worry about – the possibility that they may return. However, there was nothing for them to do about that other than take appropriate measures when the time comes. As Yuno came to this conclusion, Julius squatted in front of Graham and extended his hand toward the fish Jack caught.

“Isn’t this great, Graham? You have a fish! Daddy will cut it into pieces to make it easier for you to-

“SQUEAL! SQUEAAAL!”

CRUNCH!

At that moment, Graham chomped down on Julius’s fingers with all his might.

“………….”

 — To be continued in Part 2 —

Julius is such a softie and I love every minute of it. Spoil that baby boar!

Charlotte’s reaction was expected (and perfectly understandable as I would love to hug Graham too), but I can’t say I saw Jack’s coming. It was…... interesting. It’s funny that his soul is considered half-evil, though.

I’m glad to be back to translating Book of Yuno again. The Black Bulls are fun, but there’s something refreshing about having the focus on a character outside of their group. Maybe it’s because he’s so introverted, but Yuno feels very natural as a book protagonist. It’s also funny to see how often the novel essentially says “he had a neutral expression on the outside, but inside he felt *insert intense emotion here*”.