#((she probably ships Clintasha like burning))

[spyderedarch]

𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 :  clintasha for the ship meme! / @arrowbled​​

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - 

forever tbh

How quickly did/will they fall in love? -

It took them a little while since the first time Nat met Clint, he tried to KILL her so...

How was their first kiss? -

Awkward, but endearing. They were arguing and faces smashed together.

Wedding:

Who proposed? -

Clint

Who is the best man/men? -

Lucky

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? -

Probably Liho

Who did the most planning? -

No planning, they just up and went to a hitching post.

Who stressed the most? -

Nat probably bc commitment 

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? -

Nobody was invited tbh

Sex:

Who is on top? -

Depends on the night. Sometimes Nat tops and sometimes Clint tops. Mostly Clint tops because Nat gets tired of being in control sometimes.

Who is the one to instigate things? -

It’s a pretty even split between the two of them. 

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? -

Nat can last for hours and she wears Clint out

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? -

Nat always makes sure Clint gets off before her since she can last longer and her rebound time is quicker than his.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? -

None, as Nat cannot have kids.

How many children will they adopt? -

Probably none. Kate is enough.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? -

If they did, it would be Clint

Who is the stricter parent? -

Nat

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -

N A T

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? -

Nat since Clint can’t even pack his own

Who is the more loved parent? -

Clint because he’s the cool dad

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?

Nat

Who cried the most at graduation? -

Clint

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? -

B O T H

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? -

Clint as Nat can’t cook very well

Who is the most picky in their food choice? -

Clint, Nat will eat mostly anything.

Who does the grocery shopping? -

Nat

How often do they bake desserts? -

Nat CAN bake so often.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? -

They both are meat eaters

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? -

Clint because Nat is too old to remember some dates sometimes.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? -

Nat

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? -

NAT. And she has before.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? -

Nat does because she’s pretty tidy because she had to be

Who is really against chores? -

Clint

Who cleans up after the pets? -

Nat

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? -

C L I N T

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? -

Nat bc she isn’t a people person

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? -

Nat

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? -

Nat does because its how she relaxes

Who takes the dog out for a walk? -

Nat LOL

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? -

Nat decorates for Halloween and Christmas

What are their goals for the relationship? -

There are no real goals. They survived her death so they can survive anything at this point.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? -

C L I N T

Who plays the most pranks? -

ALSO CLINT

[starkerhowlter]

Why Peter Parker Can’t Have Girl Scout Cookies

Ship: Starker, clintasha, mentioned stucky Rating: T // Pg-13 Contains: light language, mentioned binge eating of cookies, non-detailed vomiting Initial prompt: girl scout cookies + Starker Words: 1038 Summary: Clint and Natasha's daughter is a girl scout, Peter is a sucker for Trefoils cookies.

A/N: Alright, So it’s been a while since I’ve uploaded a fic, but last night a close friend of mine (@katsotherworld​) suggested this prompt for me to try. Here’s the result... a humourous, fluffy, little mess of a fic.... Enjoy! Also, also, shout out to my beta: @ocotopushugs​! Be sure to go give her lots of love and thanks for her help and for always rooting for these fics to get done!!!

Read it on AO3

Translation: маленький кадет means Little cadet

Tony knows something's up when he enters the building. The security counter has boxes of cookies on it, and there's a sweet smell in the air. He sighs, asking J.A.R.V.I.S. what today's date is. "January third, Mister Stark."

"shit, it's cookie season. Wait, CLINT!" he shouts, rushing into the elevator, pressing the button to the main floor over and over. "Hey," he shouts, running into the kitchen, and finds Clint helping his daughter with her pink order sheets. The two are inking over each letter, making sure everything copies to the carbon paper underneath.

"Hi, Tony!" Clint nods, looking up from the page, "J.A.R.V.I.S. said you were looking for me?"

"Yeah, how many boxes of cookies did Peter buy from you?" He braces himself for the answer, knowing it'll be what decides if he sleeps in the lab or dares to go into the apartment of a sugar-high adult.

"How many does he want you to know about?" Clint chuckles, smiling at the girl's sheet.

"C'mon, it can't be that bad." He sighs, "Can it?"

"He already bought 20 boxes, mister Stark!" Nicole smiles at the inventor.

"Twenty boxes, yeah, that's not bad. Wait, WHAT?" Tony shouts, causing Natasha to rush in.

"What's wrong?" she asks, beelining towards her daughter. She'd always been protective over her, being especially careful to not allow anything to happen to her. The other Avengers presume it's a subconscious hope for her to have a semi-normal life. She's had sleepovers, playdates, and birthday parties, but there's always a keenness to make sure she blends in at school and in life. "How're my маленький кадет* sales coming along?" She asks, playing with the girl's hair.

"Quite well, seeing that Peter bought twenty boxes without my knowing," He chuckles.

"It also doesn't hurt to add in that Steve bought quite a few boxes too. He said that he was taking them home to Bucky. According to him, they haven't had Tagalongs or Thin Mints since the '40s."

"Peter hates Thin Mints," Tony notes, absentmindedly, "It has to do with the spider genes. Any intense tastes or smells are terrible to him. I found that out the hard way."

"Didn't you learn that with the candy cane incident two Christmases ago?" Clint asks, hearing Tony's comment.

"Yes," Tony sighs. "I learned to never feed him peppermint bark without telling him. I've never heard him scream like that! You'd think it burned him! Which type of cookie did he get?" He runs through the list in his head, ruling out anything nutty, citrusy or minty.

"Peter bought all of my shortbreads," She smiles, batting her mom's hands away from her curly red hair.

"Of course he did." Tony smiles, "Thank you, Nicole. If you want to catch me later, I'll probably buy a few boxes of lemonades or Tagalongs for the lab. Pepper will probably buy some of your S'mores if she hasn't already. Now, I've got to go find out how much damage my boyfriend's done."

The billionaire knows what to expect as he approaches the apartment door. Inside, lays Peter on the couch, two empty cookie boxes rest on the table, "Hi, sweetheart, how are you feeling?" "I'm nauseous and shaky, but overall good."

"Well, I hate to break it to you," Tony begins as he's approaching the couch, "but when you eat seven people's worth of shortbread cookies, you're going to beat your metabolism. You're going to be bloated and nauseated just like everyone else. At least, until your metabolism catches up in a few hours. Well, if you don't throw up before then."

He nods and lays his head on the man's shoulder. "I didn't ask to be normal, Tony."

"I know, but sometimes your diet says otherwise," If you eat recklessly you're going to start feeling like the rest of us. Would you like me to make you a glass of water?" Peter nods, prompting the man to rise, "Oh, can you bring the other eighteen boxes of those into the kitchen?"

"Sure... Y'know, you'd think I'd learn to not binge those like tha--" He begins collecting the boxes but pauses at the island after two trips. His fingers grip the edge, knuckles turning white against the grey quartz counter. He sets his jaw, still shaking.

"You alright there?" The inventor asks, concern painting his face, "You've gone kinda whi--" Before he can finish his sentence, Peter's bolting down the hallway into the guest bathroom. Tony chuckles lightly, cringing at each heave echoing from down the hall, "Are you done?"

"Y-Yeah..." Comes the weak reply.

"Alright, do you need a rag?"

"Yes, please."

The older collects a damp bar rag as well as the bottle of water, "Alright, here you go." He sits on the floor behind his boyfriend, handing him the washcloth, "Is that better?" he asks, pressing the side of the water bottle to the back of the boy's neck, kissing behind his ear, "Y'know, since it's all out now?"

"Um... I feel slightly better but not great."

"Well, that's a start, hm?" He takes the lid off the bottle, "Here, take little sips." He stands, rinsing the washcloth out in the sink before sitting back down.

"Can we stay here for a minute?" Peter asks softly, leaning back against the inventor's hand running up and down his back.

"Sure. Do you think you're going to throw up again?"

"M-maybe, I mean... I don't feel like it right now, but I might in a bit."

"Why don't we move to the couch, then? You know, just to get you outta here?" He suggests, standing and offering a hand to his lover, "We can go watch a movie in the bedroom?"

"That sounds nice, I wanna lay down," Peter smiles a little, following the older out and to the bedroom.

"Sounds like a plan. I'm going to get something to drink, and I'll meet you there."

"All right..."

The man waits until Peter's disappeared around the corner before eating a few of the cookies for himself.

"TONY, ARE YOU EATING MY COOKIES?!" Peter's voice calls from down the hall.

"Nope! I'm coming," he calls back, chewing the last of the sweet, pouring a glass of wine for himself and Peter.

[mamavocado]

WANTED PLOTS

Reposting for updated plots and interest!

Hello, I’m Rain/Rae (she/her). I’ve been doing the RP thing for at least a decade now and am looking for more discord 1x1 partners. I’m semi-selective and only looking to write with people 25 and up, with a preference for para/multi-para replies, but quality over quantity. Hoping to keep something going long term. I want a partner I can chat with ooc, share headcanons and plot with. I’ll probably send you pics of my kids, you can show off your dog or art or whatever. This is a hobby not a jobby, I won’t harass you for replies, and hopefully you won’t either.

Below the cut are plots or pairings I’m interested in exploring. That’s not to say I’m not open to other ideas, more a jumping off point for us. Message me if you’re intrigued, I probably won’t reply to likes. 

PLOT BUNNIES

Slice of Life. Domestic. Family life. Give me: Long term couples with kids who are having doubts. Single parent falling for their kid’s nanny. Two people who travel for work often and the occasional run in turns into the occasional hook-up and now they’re coordinating lay-overs but they never discuss their home lives because that would ruin everything. Hook-ups with emotional pining. Slow burn and break my heart. I want dark and angsty with flawed characters. If it’s on your plotting wish list bring it to me and we’ll make it happen!

I’m still looking for the chance to play Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow and I’m very open on what this looks like. In verse I’m looking for a blend of comic and MCU... raised to be a weapon, mysterious backstories, contacts and safe houses around the world, secret codes, every interaction dripping with sexual tension but not an ounce of trust. Also open to plotting out any type of AU. Ships include CarolNat, BlackHill, BuckyNat, Clintasha, or Romanogers. You can probably talk me into almost anything here if it doesn’t include Loki. Just give me someone as damaged at Natasha and we can drown in the angst.

Secret plots and secret characters. Let’s try a plot where we each create a character, but keep them a secret from each other, essentially go into the RP knowing almost nothing. We can keep it simple with a new neighbors or coworkers, maybe a couple of people striking out on some adventure together, anything slice of life should give us some flexibility with for our characters and secret backstory. 

Separated Immortals. A millennia ago Muse A gave Muse B the gift of immortality in the hopes they’d truly spend the rest of their lives together. Then, a hundred years ago Muse A vanishes leaving Muse B to wander the earth alone. Our story starts with Muse A appearing on Muse B’s door step in a weakened state with an impossible story. I’m looking to explore mythology, history, and how relationships change over time. Think of this as a base with a lot of details we can build up together. If you love plotting and creating a world together with a side of angst this is the plot for you.

MISCELLANEOUS WORD VOMIT:

The most important thing is that we’re collaborating on something that we both are excited about!

LGBTQ+ friendly. I’m in my 30s and will only write with people 25+. I have one small trigger that will likely never come up, but we can discuss specifics once we’re into plotting. Smut or FTB your pick. Kink+. I’m open to multiple threads and multiple characters. Only looking for Discord threads at this time. Poly ships a plus.

[april-december]

Clintasha for all of them😂

Thank you for letting me ramble about my favourite disaster idiots!

Extra-Dramatic OTP Asks: Send me a ship and number and I’ll tell you...

1. Who would sell their soul to the devil to save the other.

Natasha would absolutely be the one to try this, but she’d be trying to one-up the devil as she still believes she has no soul.

2. Who would become a stalker, in the right (wrong) situation.

Both. Clint would become a stalker in some accidental disaster way because he cares too much. Early!Natasha would accidentally become a stalker because she has no idea how real human relationships and boundaries actually practically work.

3. Who would pine away in silence their entire lives without confessing their love.

Both because they’re idiots.

4. Who would leave their friends, family, and life to move overseas to be with the other one.

I think either one would follow the other wherever they went.

5. Who would be the most worried the other might cheat on them.

Neither.

6. Who would run into a burning building to save a stranger while the other calls 911.

Clint would run in; Natasha would have her head screwed on and call 911 before following her idiot into the fire.

7. Who would haunt the other after death and chase away other suitors.

Natasha would absolutely get a kick out of being able to haunt someone, but I think she’d let Clint move on.

8. Who would stand up at the other’s wedding and say they object.

Clint. Natasha’s too stoic for that kind of drama.

9. Who would write long, beautiful poems for the other.

Clint would attempt it, once. Whether it was beautiful or not is up for debate, but Natasha keeps the letter in a secret safe compartment for forever.

10. Who would love the other no matter how evil the other became.

Both. Clint knows all of Natasha’s secrets, and Natasha’s seen him in action as Ronin. They’ve seen each other at their worst and they both understand what it’s like.

11. Who would be the most likely to become an addict (gambling/drugs/etc.).

Not sure either would, though I could see Natasha having something of a problem with alcohol.

12. Who would propose in a grand gesture of some kind.

Clint. Whether or not it would all go smoothly however…

13. Who would go berserk at harm or death befalling the other.

Both, but in different ways. Clint gets a raw, hot rage. Natasha’s is far calmer, but just as deadly.

14. Who would spend too much money on expensive gifts for the other.

I’ve always headcanoned Natasha as having a great deal of money put away in various bank accounts all over the world, so she could certainly do it. Clint probably would too, because, well, just because.

15. Who would fight an impossible battle to give the other time to escape.

I really can’t see either of them leaving the other on the battlefield in order to escape themselves. They’d fight together, even if it meant dying together. Now, fighting the impossible battle to give the other the chance of completing the important mission, that’s another matter, and it could go either way, dependent on whose skills are most likely to enable them to complete said mission.

16. Who would be able to spend centuries in misery waiting for the other to be reborn.

Clint would be exactly the kind of person to do this.

Thank you for the ask!

[ofmorninglory]

Space Pirates (idk like Treasure Planet maybe?) + Stony or Clintasha

An expansion piece!!! To this post right here --> that’s Halbarry Space Pirates AU and honestly one of the Best AUs, no questions asked, that the lovely @magicalzatanna​ and I came up with when Crossover AU hell first started. Am I also adding that Barry and Clint are twin brothers? Why yes, I certainly am, and there is absolutely nothing anyone can do to stop me! This is basically Star Trek meets Something Like Treasure Planet: 

(I wanted desperately to put this under read more but it won’t LET ME so I’ll tag this as “long post” and hope you guys don’t hate me too much)

Clintasha 

Does Clint absolutely hate his brother for getting him into this? He does, he most certainly would love to suffocate Barry while he was sleeping. Unlike his twin brother, Clint Allen would very much love to have his feet down on Earth. Space was unpredictable, unknown, and it gave Clint the heebie jeebies to actually think about all the things that were out there, floating in space, waiting to pounce on human idiocy. Nevertheless, he was Barry’s twin brother and they had never been more than a couple of days apart. Clint loved Barry more than anything (and how could he not? How could he not adore his twin brother, who was kind and solid ground, who taught everyone around them ASL so they could talk to Clint when he wasn’t feeling like wearing his hearing aids) and the thought of letting him go off-world without him? It was unconceiveable. Sure, he hates space, but he hates the thought of his brother out there all alone even more. (Their mother is gone, their father is in jail--Clint only has Barry and he doesn’t even want to let go) 

It’s a miracle that he gets into the Academy, given his hearing issues, but he figures it has something to do with being buddies with Tony Stark (who also designed all of his hearing aids, no charge or favors owned; “only the best of the best for one of my best” Stark had said back then) and how many recommendation letters administration got from other students (all of Barry’s friends, of course) commending him on his skills (near-perfect aim, spoke 3 languages fluently, skills in combat, great strategist and tactitian, also good with tech when it came down to it). He’s afraid that they might separate him and Barry, but Bruce Wayne is Captain, and chooses him and Barry in their respective departments (he’s Safety & Security while Barry’s Reasearch & Development) for the USS Justicia. Clint actually gets along pretty well with everyone in the ship, specially with the people in Barry’s Lab who all learned basic ASL language for him. He absolutely hates space with a burning passion (and he’ll continue to hate it no matter how many fucking times Barry and Tony get excited over aliens and other equally distressful scenarios), but at least he’s with his brother and that’s about enough for him.

But then there’s a fucking pirate space ship and Clint’s life goes to hell. He thought he had something going on, he really did, but space really is unpredictable. He tried telling this to Barry and Iris about five-hundred-and-forty-six times in the past, but no one ever listens to him. 

Cue in Natasha Romanoff (Natalia Romanova, Natalie Rushman, she doesn’t really know anymore) who was given a second chance at life by the Captain and the Commandos (”It’s my ship!” Hal screams everytime “We are not the Commandos!” “I’m the Captain,” Steve says back, calmly, “And we are.”) Before being found by the Highball, a hideous name if she ever heard one (she’s told Hal as much), Natasha was an asset for a well-known Space Trafficking Ring. She had been picked up as a child, and then whipped into shape by Madame B, under Thaal Sinestro’s orders. Since then, she’d been doing their bidding, hollow and more than a little lost. When Sinestro came back as a Yellow Lantern after being kicked out of the Green Lantern Corps, she was sent to eliminate Hal, of course, but the power of the ring stopped her from doing it. Hal extended her an olive branch, and asked her if this really was what she wanted to be doing. Natasha fled, at first, but the more she hid from Sinestro and Madame B, the more she thought maybe Hal had a point. She finds him, his ship and his crew, and asks to join them. She had to learn to adjust to being part of a team, and she still sometimes feels odd and out of place, but Steve and Sam help her through it. Bucky tries, sure, because he understands, but he’s never been really good. The Highball is as good as any home, she thinks, and she’s warming up to the people around her little by little. 

When the Highball crashes into the USS Justicia (and Tony and Hal bond over rumoured Treasure Planet that they may have been looking for since the ship was space-borne), Clint and Natasha are forced to co-exist, just like everyone else in the ship. Reparations for the USS Justicia are slow with little to no materials to actually do it, and if Clint hated space before he outright despises it now. He takes an instant interest in Natasha, because there’s something there that Clint can’t explain himself but he wants to know. Natasha is elusive and will go to great lengths to avoid him, but he’s sneaky and very good at finding her on every single hide-out in the ship. She hates him a little bit for it, but actually respects him. She starts warming up to the idea of him little by little (and it has nothing to do with how blue his eyes are, shut up, Sam) and they become kind-of-sort-of friends. They talk about combat, martial arts, his great marksmanship, the 800 languages she knows (“They’re 10, Clint.” “I CAN BARELY SAY MY NAME IN ENGLISH, TASHA”), and how their lives turned out like this. Clint probably finds Nat mid nightmare, mid panic attack, mid-I’m-still-in-the-Red-Room spiral down that seems never ending, and he’s the only one who’ll hold her and whisper sweet words into her hair, until she’s fallen back asleep in his arms. Natasha jumps in front of danger every single time Clint is in any bad situation that’s about to get worse. They suddenly start merging into a couple and no one really knows what the fuck is going on, those are facts. Barry’s just happy his brother’s got this out of space, which he seems to hate so much. 

Stony

Tony Stark is head of the R&D department and second in command in the USS Justicia. He and Bruce W had never gotten along much (not like he and Bruce B, who’s a sweetheart and owns Tony’s entire heart) but they’re effective enough together that the Federation thought it was a good idea to give them their own goddamn ship. Tony doesn’t complain. Much. There’s not much waiting for him on Earth (his father disowned him, Stark Industries fell to Obadiah Stane after his parent’s untimely death) and Bruce W is a good Captain that keeps their crew in top-shape. He’s not leading any of them into battle, like so many other Captains did nowadays, and Tony revels in the quiet existance that is flying through space in a glorified saucer. He likes his team (picked Barry himself, deeply interested in his thesis) and they discover heart-stopping, amazingly cool stuff every. Single. Day. Tony couldn’t be happier, he really couldn’t. (Some days Bruce W will go to a Federation Post somewhere for meetings and Tony will get to be Captain, that’s the only instance of all of this that made it better.)

Captain Steve Rogers, or former Captain at least, used to be the captain to an important Federation vessel, the USS Valkyrie, that doesn’t exist anymore (unless you count the heap of scrap that was left of it after it was decomissioned). He was never one to follow rules, and while the Federation had given him his dream to see the stars (something he never would have dreamed of in a million years as a sickly kid, who could never even get out of bed some days), there were still some rules and regulations he simply couldn’t agree on. After getting his rank revoked and his crew relocated (except Bucky, of course, who was with him to the end of the line; he couldn’t blame the others, either, they had families to feed) Steve and Bucky are back on Earth, feeling miserable and forlorn. That is, until the Highball docks in San Francisco (illegally, might I add) and Hal Jordan, in all his glory, offers them a spot in his crew of misfits, and the rest is pretty much history. They travel space, they help people the way they always wanted, they kick-ass, take names--Steve would have never thought, at the beginning of his career, that this is where years of training at the Academy would take him. He finds he doesn’t care very much. 

Until the day the Highball hits the fucking USS Justicia. Steve wants to pull out all of his hair because of course it had to be a fucking Federation vessel. Harold steps up as the calm, collected, reasonable adult that he never is, and get everyone on board. Steve thinks “hey, it can’t get much worse!” and then Tony-fucking-Stark walks through the door and he wants to die. 

Steve’s been crushing on Tony since the younger man stepped into the Academy, all those years ago, except he was never really good at expressing his feelings, and no matter how much Bucky tried to get him to ask Stark on a date, all Steve managed, every single time, was get Tony angrier at him and their relationship becoming even rockier. Tony immediately recognizes him and it’s like they’re younger now, back at the Academy, and being enemies (even when Steve wanted anything but that). Tensions are high at the Highball (hah!) and Steve, bless his heart, just wants to fix the USS Justicia as fast as is possible.

Except, you know, Clint and Natasha find a goddamn map to Treasure Planet (Steve never believed it to be a thing) and Hal and Tony can’t stop vibrating in their places, shooting off at the mouth, overexcitedly, about how many things could be in this planet!! Somehow, they all get roped into searching for this planet, and Steve really, really just wants to rest. Somewhere along the way, Tony stops being all fire and brimstone, and in turn, Steve tries to be less of an awkward idiot around him (Barry helps a lot, he really does) and the two form an unlikely friendship. Since Steve is still Captain of the Highball (Hal appointed him; there was a SIGNED CONTRACT in between; Hal could own the ship all he wanted, but he still was Captain) he feels responsible for everyone inside his ship, and the adventure they’re about to undertake is, perhaps, one of the most dangerous. Steve just hopes they’ll make it through it. 

[essayofthoughts]

I've seen a lot a hate for the ship but not a thorough explanation of why. I wanted to see the pros and cons of them. The effect it has on Wanda in the comics and in MCU, same for Vision. In which scene in the movies made people dislike it and which part in the comics made people explicitly hate. . . I don't think I'm doing a good job explaining why I want a Meta on it. My reasoning looks all over the place to me.

Yeah, I’m not entirely sure what you mean with some of this but as for why people don’t like and why they do, I can do that. I haven’t read enough comics to have a firm idea of the impact in comics, or what scene in the films makes people hate it (though if I had to bet it would probably be Wanda putting Vision through the floor, or like. Generalised fan hate for Wanda due to goddamn fandom misogyny and fucking Tony stans) or what scene in comics made people hate. A lot of those things are seriously subjective and personal and the hate for WandaVision is not just limited to the personal. Anyway.

Main reasons I’ve seen people say they don’t like ScarletVision:

They feel Marvel is pushing it too hard with all their nods to the comics.

They didn’t like the relationship in the comics in the first place.

They think Wanda’s abusive because she shoved (the practically indestructible) Vision through the floor and…

They find it squicky because Vision is technically a year old in CACW.

Now, I don’t mind the nods to the comics too much [1], and sure you can dislike the relationship in the comics, but it was very significant, producing the first incarnations of Wiccan and Speed (before the death, time-jump rebirth and other shit) which drove the House of M plotline, which has had a huge impact on the Maximoffs in general [2], and so… I can see why they’d want to reference so enduring a relationship. You can dislike it if you want, but I don’t especially think there’s a need to hate on it. Find it personally obnoxious, sure. Want to desperately avoid it, sure. But honestly, fandom’s need to try to justify their hatred of something or to be incredibly judgy is something I find deeply grating these days (hence the vagueblog the other day) so I think people need to tone shit down some.

As to the “Wanda’s abusive thing”… Vision did literally lie by omission to her regarding keeping her under house arrest. Let’s look at two other cases where she was lied to.

Strucker and List! They recruited the twins in This Scepter’d Isle tie in prelude comic, and claimed to be SHIELD by speaking of “our Avengers, our Iron Man”. But they weren’t and, as you see, the twins readily abandon them when the fight comes to the castle.

Ultron! “You were supposed to make a better world!” “It will be better!” “When everyone is dead?” And what happened then? She set Helen free from the sceptre’s control, she and Pietro got the hell out… only to return to fight Ultron alongside the Avengers.

Wanda, simply, does not like being lied to. If she offers trust then to betray it is one of the worst crimes you can commit against her. The same holds true of Pietro in comics, it’s the reason for the end of his relationship with Crystal Amaquelin. To break their trust is a surefire way to earn their ire and Vision is clearly very close to Wanda by the time of CACW… and he lied to her. 

Besides which, he’s indestructible. From their conversation we see that they’re both very much regarded as Other by the other Avengers and by the public - the android and the witch - and they seem to understand one another’s capabilities. Vision begs Wanda to not leave not to refrain from putting him through the floor. Being put through the floor is easily survivable for him. He is literally made from Vibranium. He can phase through solid matter! He can alter his own density! He’s also an android who doesn’t think like we do, he’s genuinely surprised that he can be distracted because his way of thinking is very very alien to that of a human.

So if Wanda’s abusive, so is Vision. But given their conversation at Leipzig Airport when Wanda finally stops fighting, it seems like they’re generally quite open with their emotions and their thoughts. They each understand why they responded as they did and don’t seem to hold it too much against it each other. So, honestly, I’d say they have a healthier relationship than some (Pepper/Tony has a few problems, so I actually Do Not Judge Pepper taking a break from him in CACW) especially given that Wanda comes out of a codependent bond with her brother because her brother dies. The fact she’s not an emotional wreck and is capable of healthy relationships is amazing. Given a lot of factors… look the relationship - whatever it may be - between Wanda and Vision needs work, but all relationships do. And both of them clearly put a lot of thought into their discussions, with Vision’s awkward hamfisted attempts to make Wanda feel better, and Wanda’s willingness to talk openly to Vision in turn. It’s clearly a relationship based on communication and intellectual exercise, which I think is a decently solid basis? But then again, I’m ace, and of the few relationships I’ve had, one of them involved a hugely manipulative dickhead, so what do I know.

Honestly the squickiness is the one reason I can really see and get behind [3] even though it doesn’t squick me out personally. Vision is literally a year old by the time of CACW. That’s not hyperbole, you can check the MCU timelines on the wikia. He’s very young, he’s still very naive, he still lacks a solid understanding of human nature because he’s very logical and so emotion and ulterior motives sometimes - heck, often - pass him by. He’s seriously lacking in life experience and that makes forming relationships with him of any kind to be very weird.

The way that I find it easier to handle is… well, look at Ultron. Emotionally immature, yes, but intellectually he had a great understanding of things, even if he was an omnicidal maniac. Then, look at JARVIS. We don’t know when JARVIS was made, but he’s existed in MCU canon as a whole and intact thing for years, he’s had plenty of time to mature as a half AI half natural language UI, and then being merged with what there is of the part-sceptre brain of Ultron…. physically he’s a year old, but he’s got more going on in his skull than just that. He may lack a lot of experience and understanding - of course he does, part of him comes from an omnicidal maniac, the other part is a bodyless AI that acted as Tony Stark’s nanny, minder, adviser, best friend and general helping hand. His understanding of a lot of things is very off.

But he isn’t just a year old. He’s also got a lot of other stuff going on.

Honestly, if you don’t like ScarletVision, that’s fine. Its your business, it’s your preference. I don’t get ClintCoulson or Stony or… hell a lot of slash ships these days, if I’m honest, partially due to how they dismiss female characters even when written by female fans, but I’m not going to shit on them. If ScarletVision is your NOTP just block it. There’s no need to go shitting all over it, or trying to justify your hatred, distaste or squicked-out-ness by it. Just say “I don’t like this,” or “It makes me uncomfortable” and leave it at that. You don’t have to justify your personal feelings to other people. You’re allowed to dislike things just because you dislike things. You’re allowed to like things that are ProblematicTM [7] just because they scratch your id.

But yeah. People have their own reasons for not liking ScarletVision and that’s justified. Seeing it pushed in their faces, I can see why someone who doesn’t care for it would come to hate it - I didn’t care about Tony Stark but his stans have made me detest him on principle. But, you don’t need to spew hate everywhere about it, and that isn’t necessarily a personal issue.

That’s a fandom issue, largely due to the purity police, problematic TM thing, the callout brigade and people trying to prove that they are ideologically pure to try to prevent such callouts happening to them. The solution? For people to stop calling out other people or to stop giving a shit if they get called out. For people to stop overusing or misusing callouts to get back at people they don’t like. For people to stop lying with callouts. For people to stop uncritically reblogging callout posts without checking facts for themselves.

This probably isn’t going to happen, not for a while at least. Not before fandom has almost entirely burned itself out, burned itself to the ground and had to rebuild itself from the ground up.

But hey. I guess chewing up and spitting out your friends and companions only to team up again for the sequel is in right now - it’s what’s going in in the MCU.

[1] And hey, if it was nods for BuckyNat you know people would be practically cheering, so I find it kind of weird that this specifically is an issue while people are almost panting for a reference to BuckyNat, just as I find it annoying that people spent ages begging JKR for more information only to turn around and go “why won’t she stop!?” Answer: Because y’all spent years begging her for more. Don’t be bitter because your wish got answered.

[2] Yes there are issues with House of M, yes I know you may dislike it, no, I don’t care right now. Like what you like, dislike what you like, whether house of M was good is not the question, the question is if it was significant and it was. 

 [3] Being sick of Marvel pushing something via nods to the comics sure, that can be irritating, but there’s a bit of a double standard there because no one minds it for other characters and, indeed, they seem to be begging for it for BuckyNat. They ignore the nod to Ultimates that Clint’s family is [4] just to spit on it because it’s not Clintasha like they wanted or ClintCoulson (how did that ship start, honestly? IT MAKES ZERO SENSE), they hate on the nod to comics for WandaVision, but they seem to keep their eyes peeled for every other Easter egg opportunity, draw wildly out of proportion parallels between comics and MCU [5] and practically beg for BuckyNat [6].

[4] As is like… Clint’s character in this, he’s much more brutal than 616 Clint. MCU Clint is more disaster to humans than human disaster, and that is very Ultimates.

[5] People saying how much of a slap in the face the Raft is in MCU are WRONG because the Raft is new in MCU and has never been used to imprison anyone, let alone villains or heroes, so the slap to the face that it is in comics does not apply here.

[6] I get it, BuckyNat is really interesting and features two people dealing with their differing yet similar traumas from the same source. I’m a sucker for that kind of thing, I get it. But guys, it’s not what’s happening.

[7] Kylux feat. blood and force choking for example. Look I have issues with the shipping of Kylo and Hux but those fics are AMAZING and HORRIBLE and I LOVE THEM, for the simple reason that they are very id-scratchy. Sometimes I like to read about deeply unhealthy bloody relationships or just like. Straight up healthy BDSM. We all have likes and dislikes, but those don’t have to be due to an ideological basis. All things are flawed, some things more than others, but just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean that everyone should dislike the thing [8].

[8] There are, of course, exceptions to this. Nazis and Neo-Nazis, for example, should be universally hated and vilified because they wish to commit fucking genocide. White nationalists should be universally hated and vilified because they want to destroy anyone they don’t see as white, when race is a completely arbitrary construct entirely designed to create social divisions in the first place.  But, some things can be problematic without being The Worst And Most Awful Thing Ever and that’s what this post is about.

[mamavocado]

WANTED PLOTS

Hello, I’m Rain/Rae (she/her). I’ve been doing the RP thing for at least a decade now. I haven’t been super active on tumblr as of late, but I am looking for more discord RPs so I’m back (sorta). I’m semi-selective and only looking to write with people 25 and up, with a preference for para/multi-para replies, but quality over quantity. Hoping to keep something going long term. I want a partner I can chat with ooc, share headcanons and plot with. I’ll probably send you pics of my kids, you can show off your dog or art or whatever. This is a hobby not a jobby, I won’t harass you for replies, and hopefully you won’t either.

Below the cut are plots or pairings I’m interested in exploring. That’s not to say I’m not open to other ideas, more a jumping off point for us. Hit me up if you’re intrigued! Or if you prefer just like or reblog this post and I’ll send you a message.

PLOT BUNNIES

Slice of Life plots. Give me: Long term couples with kids who are having doubts. Single parent falling for their kid’s nanny. Two people who travel for work often and the occasional run in turns into the occasional hook-up and now they’re coordinating lay-overs but they never discuss their home lives. Hook-ups with emotional pining. Slow burn and break my heart. 

Spy Thriller! Protégée/Mentor, rival assassins, or some other idea you want to throw my way. High tech gadgets, raised to be a weapon, mysterious backstories, contacts and safe houses around the world, secret codes, every interaction dripping with sexual tension but not an ounce of trust. ((Give me all the tropes, a dash of international intrigue, and let’s take down a human trafficking ring or two! Open to just playing BuckyNat, Clintasha, or Romanogers too.))

Muse A is an archaeologist, top name in their field. Muse B is a linguist at the dig site, on hand for translation assistance having grown up in the area. When Muse A uncovers a strange artifact Muse B quickly discovers this is only the first clue that leads the pair on an exciting adventure. But is everything as it seems or is there ancient magic at work? ((This could go in so many directions, historical treasure hunt, a mission from the gods, an Indiana Jones-esqu adventure, Let’s figure it out together!))

I’ve always wanted to try a plot where we each create a character, but keep them a secret from each other, essentially go into the RP blind. We can keep it simple with a new neighbors plot or ride share road trip arranged on Craigslist like it is 2007. I imagine we could each bring in a few (secret) plot drops that drag up something from our character’s past or disrupt the status quo with an accident, we can pull those at random as the RP goes on to keep things from getting stale. ((Okay, I’ve done this twice now and it’s a blast! Please pick this up you won’t be disappointed.))

Muse A is a reaper/angel of death working alone for a millennia and perfectly content with the status quo, Muse B was supposed to die but instead simply walked through the veil and didn’t move on. Turns out this is starting to happen around the world with no explanation. Suddenly Muse A finds themself working with a partner as they both try to uncover the reason the dead are locked out of the afterlife. Muse B is processing their “death”, what they’ve left (or gained), and where they’re going next. ((Come plot this out with me! Let’s talk philosophy, world religions, the afterlife, and grumpy grim reapers))

Ask me about Arabella Figg.

FANDOMS:

I’m equally happy to create OCs or write characters from a couple fandoms. I mostly stick to writing HP and Marvel, I’m open to anything from rewriting Endgame to a Raising Harry Wolfstar, additionally any of the above plots could be a starting point. Honestly, if you wish it I’m probably game. I’m DYING to write Natasha.

Come and chat! We can compare ships and preferred characters and figure out what we want to write together.

MISCELLANEOUS WORD VOMIT:

LGBTQ+ friendly. I’m 31 and will only write with 25+. No triggers but I’ll be mindful of yours. Smut or FTB your pick. I’m open to multiple threads and multiple characters. Only looking for Discord threads at this time. Poly ships a plus.