#((plus even savings wont last forever so gotta work either way))

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

ughhh i hate hubert

i always forget how vile he is in act 2......

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.4

Last time on Beverly Hills 90210!

Hibiki begins to understand the true nature of the Sam Reimi Spiderman trilogy as she lives the life of a superhero by night and a normal student by day in the most miserable way possible. Constant cockblocking from the duties she explicitly chose to do distance her from her significant other Miku, as it drives wedges into their friendlationship. As Hibiki breaks off a plan prepped weeks in advance to see rocks fall from the sky, she takes out her frustration on the local Kamen Rider villian rejects before coming up to see Tsubasa, only to be greeted by a new face...

Let us continue!

As the situation tenses between the three gi- hey! Hey, wait a minute! This is a flashback! That’s no fair. You’re just going to throw this to us while we’re trying to do this stuff? Get it together, show.

The show hauls our asses to a flashback, because God knows we needed one right now. It’s not just any flashback, though. It’s a flashback of our favorite redhead, Kanade!

In a straightjacket.

While everyone is staring.

“i dont usually do this but you’ve got a bad case of catch-these-handsitis”

“oh god, she’s so wild, and angry... i... why am i hoping she’s single...?”

“aye. this is the fate of all rabiosexuals out there.”

Kanade is tied down because she’s the sole survivor of a Noise attack, and more importantly, she really, really wants to fight the Noise. What she doesn’t know is that she is potentially a new candidate for a Symphogear relic.

“oh... we’d pair so well... our colors are diametrically opposed...”

“GIMMIE A FUCKING GUN AND A TEN PIECE CHICKEN MCNUGGET MEAL YOU GUY FIERI LOOKING ASSHOLE”

Genjuro, who suffers from Compulsive Child Adopting Syndrome (CCAS), immediately comes to the conclusion to adopt this tiny gremlin. It helps that her parents are, well, dead.

Fatherly instincts vibrating intensely.

Genjuro talks to this small child, who is currently 99% anger and 1% chicken fluff, scanning their conviction towards working to the goal of fighting the Noise.

In retrospect, his methods are a bit weird. Feeding into the extreme edginess of a 14 year old scorned isn’t exactly the best thing in the world. Unfortunately, as we established before, the only thing that can fight Noise are Symphogear, and the only reason he’s not in the front lines is because he can’t wield one.

Kanade naturally obliges this deal, her braincells having long since perished alongside her parents. Then Perish indeed, Kanade.

“buddy im being trained as a samurai in modern times and i still could not fathom going as hard as you”

The pact is sealed. The child is adopted. Genjuro’s adoption addiction relapses, and he’s going to have quite a long talk at AA (Adopters Anonymous).

The thing about Genjuro that makes him an interesting character is that he actually really, really, really hates the idea of having to pit children in fighting these horrible threats. Unlike a lot of male characters who have a strong sense of manliness but a poorly written way of expressing it, Genjuro manages to be a compassionate person in the face of all this terribleness. He’s the only person to think about throwing parties for these girls, and trying to give them any sort of sense of happiness and normalcy to their lives, now changed forever by machinations he has been put in charge of. He’s the Anti-Gendo. He doesn’t tell Shinji to get in the robot. He makes sure Shinji is well enough to be in the robot, and would never do so otherwise, knowing the mental toll.

That’s why ultimately, he is The Dad.

So, with that in mind, they prep Kanade to recieve the relic assigned to her. One of the major elements of using relics is compatibility. Kanade is not naturally compatible to Gungnir; they have to slowly ease her into it.

“mumble mumble cant wait to kick their asses mumble mumble”

This is a process that takes years. The show doesn’t do well in showing this, but it takes many, many years for her to be compatible after endless medical examinations and controlled situations.

The experiments, naturally, hurt like a bitch to boot.

“genjuro she’ll be okay, right?”

“flip a coin on it, tsubasa”

“oh shit yall see this news? pornhubs gonna buy tumblr! damn, i can make an all in one profile now.”

When you’re forced to watch your newly adopted daughter torture herself to be compatible with an ancient, musty cursed relic.

After all that, Kanade still isn’t compatible. Of course, nothing is simple with Kanade. You may ask yourself, “Why did Genjuro have to tie up Kanade in a straitjacket? That seems pretty abusive.”

Simply put, it’s because Kanade has never fucked around in any second of her life, having taken off all the devices on her, taken a direct syringe of the stuff she’s trying to synchronize with, and directly inject it into her, herself.

Fear.

“i am so SICK, and TIRED, of all this namby pamby wimpy ass standard shit. YALL MOTHERFUCKERS THINK I WONT GO FULL THROTTLE?! MY LIFE IS FULL THROTTLE. I! AM! GONNA! GET! SHIT! DONE! TONIGHT! BOYYYYS!”

Tsubasa, likely already going through puberty by this point, simultaneously understands both the concepts of fear and arousal witnessing this near suicidal display of absolute madness immediately.

Holy shit, Kanade.

You know shit’s bad when even Ryoko is afraid.

Turns out, however, that Kanade did the right move in becoming compatible with Gungnir, at a very physically demanding price.

Really, physically demanding.

“shouldnt have had that massive spaghetti carbonara before doing all this shit but fuck i really liked that fuckin’ spaghetti slorp slorp go the sauce ooooooooh god this is bad”

“HAHA IM FINE- IM FINE EVERYONE- THIS- THIS IS JUST THE SPAGHETTI- I HAD BEFORE THE- BEFORE THE PROCEDURE IT’S NOT- IT’S NOT BLOOD I SWEAR- OH I AM FEELING LIGHTHEADED- DON’T WORRY YOUR PRETTY HEADS IM GOOD! OH- OH FUCK-”

The scientists, who have been easily staring at this entire situation for more than 5 minutes or more, have not stepped in to do a single damn thing, as if overpowering a 14 year old to stop her from injecting a dangerous thing that could directly kill her is completely out of their paygrade. Genjuro wakes them the fuck up and likely briefly contemplates firing some of these morons.

“so this is what’s called... getting lost in the sauce...”

The scientists scramble to keep Kanade from vomiting more marinara sauce but Kanade exerts but a mere fraction of her now developing Symphogear abilities, knocking them all out with ease.

“this is some shit right here, damn”

Kanade pulls some Independence Day theatrics on everyone, as a 14 year old on the verge of death typically would if given the opportunity. Death may be certain but you at least get to go out in style. Will Smith would be proud.

The half-life of Tsubasa’s fearousal reached completion as it has mostly decayed into fear at this point.

However, the relic pendant begins glowing. This is likely the one thing that keeps Kanade from dying. An interesting comparison given Hibiki’s own survival and gear manifestation.

Kanade achieves super saiyan.

“THEY ALL SAID I WAS LOST IN THE SAUCE... AND THEY ALL THOUGHT THE SAUCE WAS LOST IN ME. BUT NOW... I AM THE SAUCE!”

Tsubasa’s fear directly transmutes itself back into arousal per the first law of alchemy. Something to note is that Tsubasa was naturally receptive to her own gear; she didn’t need to go through the medical process Kanade went through. It’s because of this that Kanade earns Tsubasa’s admiration for life, even long after she dies.

“THE SAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUCCCEEEEEEEEEE”

And so, the unambiguously gay duo known as Zwei Wing formed. Singers by day...

Noise slayers by night.

Saving the country, singing in the country, bonding together... in the country. Truly, there is no more iconic duo than these two.

“yall sing pretty”

“anyway bye”

Kanade’s initial motivation for getting Gungnir was to kill the Noise indiscriminately with no hesitation. It slowly dawns on her, though, that helping people... is good?

“the sauce lost me. i got lost in the sauce. i became the sauce. but... why don’t i... share, the sauce? because... people like sauce... and i like sauce... and we can bond together... liking sauce!”

Kanade and Tsubasa have a Captain America moment running together as Kanade muses about how singing for other people feels way better than just pure murder funtimes.

“hey, uh... tsubasa... it just hit me. i like sauce. and... you, you like sauce. do... do you want to share sauce together?”

“kanade as your girlfriend ive literally heard you talk about sauce metaphors for the last several years and if you dont think i wont slurp your sauce down without hesitation you’ve got another thing coming”

“hell yeah! ive still got some of my original leftover marinara to share!”

No heterosexual explanation whatsoever.

Not a damn one.

Oh yeah...! Because by shedding tears, the reality you face is...

Nehushtan? Weird end of a sentence, but okay.

We’re thrust back into the present time, present day, as we’re back in our three way throwdown.

Genjuro is an extra large McFuckingPissed with Large Fries and a Shake, supersized.

“you want some sauce with that? lmao, sorry, too soon”

As the werewolves come out in full force, the tension strengthens while a battle brews nearby...

“yall think you’re getting your hands on this goddamn armor without realizing im officiating this here gay pride parade. and guess what? you’re cancelled.”

“didn’t know clowns were part of the acronym, let alone capable of managing it. either way, you’ve gotta be at least this tall to use the armor.” 

“so why not make like a hobbit, drop the armor, and burrow back to whatever hidey hole you came from, bimbo baggins!”

“guess you didnt read the books, moron. last i checked, bilbo doesn’t lose his traveling partners.”

“that low blow only comes at the cost of outing yourself as a fucking nerd.”

“im not ashambed. im gonna blow your mind with some math: my foot, plus your face, subtracting the teeth from your mouth, equals an ass kicking.”

“NOTHING IN THAT FORMULA INVOLVES ANY ASS WHATSOEV-”

Hibiki gets in the way immediately, citing the ethical ramifications of fighting humans as opposed to talking to them, conveniently forgetting this was the same person ready to body her merely an episode or two ago.

“hey first of all please don’t say bimbo thats really degrading, and second of all clowns aren’t actually in the acronym but im sure there are some gay clowns out there so please dont talk like that and thirdly im sorta short and that hurt my feelings and fourthly killing is fucking bad, tsubasa, let us not commit human on human murder”

both of them, in unison, i shit you not:

“yo, you like murder? shit. i like murder too!”

“like oh my god! murder is my favorite hobby. i take it back, you’re chill. still gotta die, though.”

Hibiki is casually tossed aside from this fight, given her very ideas are anti-thetical to fighting as a whole.

A real sick battle ensues.

Something to note is that our spunky opponent has another relic at her disposal which summons Noise. This relic is called Solomon’s cane. You’ll learn more about it later.

Not a pretty sight.

Tsubasa is losing. Not only is she losing, but the enemy cool kid reveals a very notable detail of her plan: She was distracted Tsubasa on purpose. The real plan...

Was to kidnap Hibiki.

In an ironic twist, Tsubasa’s inability to work with her teammate not only put her teammate in danger, but explicitly allowed her opponent to fulfill her mission of trying to capture her.

“i changed my mind kick her ass please oh god”

Hibiki still has not learned her lesson.

Tsubasa gets her ass kicked. Her opponent pulls every punch in the book, with some lowdown dirty fighting.

Unfortunately, Tsubasa, having learned from the Kanade Amou Private School Of No Brain Cell Combat, she pulls the last ace from her sleeve.

“lmao bitch whatre you gonna do, sing?”

“i didnt design my hair like a fucking 8th note for nothing, you cabbage patch kid”

“then let’s hear it, motherfucker.”

[antiquechampagne]

Chapter 21 - All Work

Payne woke in the early evening to delicious aromas filling the air. Quickly and discreetly she drained a blood bag before heading out to find Hancock. She found him tightening the last few screws on a shotgun turret.

Payne was impressed. “Well, that looks particularly nasty.”

“Morning sleepy head. That baby will fuck someone up, wont it? We should put a few in back home.”

“Is there anything I can help with?” Payne asked.

“Probably, but first stop over and see Deirdre has anything to replace that sorry excuse for a glove.” He pointed to her hastily wrapped hand.

Payne wandered over in the direction of a lanky ghoul with smart black hair knelling in the dirt. She looked up from her tato plant.

“You need something?” Deirdre gruffly asked as she dusted herself off.

“Got any gloves?”

“Got any caps?” she smartly replied.

With a nod, Deirdre rummaged through a nearby trunk and pulled out a musty pair of tan work gloves. “Five caps.”

“Got anything in black?” Deirdre shook her head no. “Make it 4, then?” Payne countered.

“I guess, since you’re Hancock’s gal.”

Payne handed over the caps. “I’m just his bodyguard.” Deirdre shrugged as she took Payne’s caps.

Finished with their transaction, Payne let Deirdre get back to her plants. She quickly spotted Strong’s enormous frame beyond the pool, driving fence posts one by one into the ground with a powered sledgehammer. Several others were helping erect wooden barricades. In the rabble, Payne spotted Nate. She waved as she drew closer.

“Feeling better?” Nate asked, wiping sweat from his forehead.

“Yeah, thanks.” She flexed her right hand. The burn still stung under the leather, but other than that she was fine. “You guys need help here?”

“Hey Jones…” Nate looked over his shoulder. “Why don’t you take a break? You earned it. Payne here can finish that.”

Jones handed Payne his hammer as he nodded in thanks, picking up where he left off. The good will and comradery between Nate and the residents of the Slog was infectious. Even with the grueling work, soon everyone was chatting and joking. The afternoon went by quickly. Soon a bell was ringing, signally that the food was ready.

Following the crowd. Payne walked up to the long table piled high with sizzling meats and vegetables. At one end sat a row of tarberry pies. A hand clapped on her back.

“They really rolled out the red carpet for us, didn’t they?” Hancock picked up a slice of fried tato and popped it in his mouth.

“They are being very generous.” Payne was impressed.

“I wish I could say it was all for yours truly, but I think it is more for Nate. He has done a lot of work out here… clearing out raiders, improvements and stuff. Heck, you should have seen Arlen when he brought him all those Buttercup parts. He was in tears when Nate handed him an old prewar holotape. I hear it was a letter from his kid. Nate’s practically a legend around here.”

“Stealing your spotlight?” jabbed Payne.

“Naah, he can keep the selfless hero shtick. I’m cornering the lovable rogue market.”

People had begun to gather around, plates in hand. Payne filled her dish and grabbed a beer before retreating into the building, while the others gathered around large fire pit. Removing her helmet, she ate to the din of dozens of conversations buzzed outside. She watched Hancock in the dying light as he flitted between groups of people, ever the social butterfly. Slowly, dusk started staining the remains streaks of the storm clouds in brilliant pinks and oranges.

Out of the crowd, a ghoul with tattered blue jeans meandered inside. Her steel grey hair glowed with the colors of the setting sun. She carried two plates, each with a huge slice of pie.

“Not interested in joining the party, honey? Us ghoul didn’t scare you off, did we?”

“No, that’s not it. I have… sensitive skin.” Payne winced a little at the mention of her skin, given the state of woman before her. She motioned of her to sit. Sliding into a metal folding chair, the ghoul placed the plates down on the coffee table. They exchanged introductions.

“Well, Payne, you’re rolling with Mayor Hancock, I hear?” Payne nodded and noticed Holly’s coquettish smile. “He sure knows how to pick the pretty ones.”

“Um, I’m just his body guard.”

“That’s too bad. But I guess that means I might have a shot? We don’t get to many smoothskins as nice looking as you out this way.” Holly leaned in closer.

Payne couldn’t contain her grin at the ghoul’s forward nature. “Sorry, but I’m not on the market at the moment… but thanks.”

“Can’t fault a girl for trying! A ghoul’s got needs too!” Holly played off her rejection with a good natured grin.

“I watch Hancock’s back… I know that better than most!” They both shared in some lighthearted laughter. “I’ll tell ya what… If you go and bring me another, I’ll save you a dance later if you want.”

“You got a deal!” Holly rose to leave just as Hancock walked in.

“Don’t tell me… Holly asked you to taste her pie, didn’t she?” he snickered.

“You know it!” Holly jabbed Hancock playfully in the arm. “And you still owe me some pie of your own, Mister Mayor. You promised me last time you visited!”

“Last time I was here it was on business, not pleasure… but I bet I might have something a later for you to taste.” He traced a finger down her cheek.

Holly scoffed playfully. “I think I have found something fresher!” She spun and walked away.

Payne snorted and shook her head as Hancock replaced Holly in the seat next to her.

“Holly can smell new meat from a mile away. Plus, she will hit just about on anything with two legs and a heartbeat.”

“So it seems. She knows what she wants and goes for it.” Payne drained the last dregs of her beer. “I’ve known a lot of people like that. It’s not a bad trait.”

“You into ghoul and gals, then?” Hancock couldn’t suppress a smirk of his own. “Hot. Gotta let me watch!”

“Not quite, turned her down.” Just then Holly appeared in the doorway with a tall bottle. “But I think she just bought herself a dance later.”

Holly set the bottle down. “Sorry, smoothskin, no beer. Will vodka do?” Payne nodded. Holly shooed Hancock out of her seat. “Let us get acquainted in peace, you letch!” Hancock feigned dejection as he scuttled away.

The two women talked and joked while working their way through their slices of pie. The sweetness of the pie helped cut the burn of the vodka. Payne found Holly’s company to be quite enjoyable, quick to laugh and straight to the point. Payne also saw how proud of the tarberry bog she oversaw.

Finally the sun set, twilight settled around the revelers. Holly and Payne joined the rest around the welcoming fire. Someone dragged a shabby radio out, mixing music with the waves of laughter and conversations.

Spotting Nate across the fire, Payne excused herself from Holly.

“I got a question for you.” Payne asked Nate. “Super mutants are immune to radiation, but you aren’t. Downing enough Rad-X and Rad-Away is really risky. What are you going to do?”

“Come with me. I showed this off before, but you were sleeping.” He led her around to the side of the squat building. A bright yellow frame held up a complete suite of T-60 power armor, dimly lit by the distant firelight. The flickering light gave the illusion of movement the imposing suit. As she observed it, memories flashed across her mind. She suddenly saw her brother smiling next to his own suit, his pride captured forever in the moment frozen in a golden frame hung in the hall. She found it hard to follow Nate, who was mumbling on about upgrades and rad scrubbers.

Nate noticed the vacant look in her eyes. “Hey, Payne. You okay?”

Caught off guard, Payne stammered. “Um, yeah. I’m not all that fond of these things up close. I’ve had some run-ins with the Brotherhood of Steel. Not good ones.” She hope her lie was enough to keep him from digging any further.

“Oh, sorry. I understand. I haven’t heard much good about them, either.”

“You didn’t know. It should keep you safe out in the Glowing Sea, though. Where did you find it?”

“You’d be surprised how many of these things I have found… guess it makes sense with all the military instillations around.”

Payne’s hand unconsciously rose, her fingertips hover over a faded decal, just short of touching the cold metal. She turned to Nate. “Can I?”

“Sure. There isn’t even a fusion core in it. I don’t need someone getting drunk and taking this bad boy out for a joy ride.”

Her hand slid along the armor’s steel grey chest piece. Aiden’s voice, jubilant from his recent completion of boot camp, rang in her ears. One of these bad boys will be mine someday soon, pipsqueak. Just you wait and see!

Payne recoiled as if shocked. She became painfully aware there was something missing around her neck.

“Thanks.” She turned. “I think it’s about time we got back to the party.” She lightly wrapped her arms around herself.

“Agreed.” Back within the circle of fire light, Aiden’s voice faded back into the shadows of Payne’s mind.

[rkkyg]

dark skies.  rkkyg solo. dated 2019 January 30th. 

yellow hair had been fun. it had been different. before yellow yugyeom hadn’t dyed his hair anything, his head has always been tender and he had never been able to really afford dying his hair. plus the high school he had been in was strict about that, he had already crossed the lines way to many times with all his skipping and getting caught smoking. at the time he hadn’t considered pushing it with dying his hair. 

and then with the events of last summer happened. 

there’s something about a new hair color after dramatic events that just seems like the right thing to do. maybe its him being dramatic himself, but when he’d spotted the yellow dye in the store something had just come over him and days later had him showing up at dongmins with the box of dye. weeks would follow of his best friends mockery of his yellow locks, but yugyeom had come to like them, thought the color suited him even. 

but that sensitive scalp thing had come to bite him in the ass. the first round of touching up his roots had been a tough. when round two burned he knew he was pushing his luck. junhyung listened to him complain about it with obvious amusement. his best friend having been platinum blond for months now. 

so instead of touching up his roots again he threw together some savings and went to get his hair darkened once more. kind of odd to go dark now that the seasons would begin changing to the warmer weather but it had been odd to go yellow for winter in the first place. plus, he knows he looks good with black hair and he’s got a certain someone to impress. 

“so i’m thinking we’ll go until march? maybe last weekend of February.” yugyeom spoke from his spot stretching in front of the mirror wall. he could see seungmin by the music, the room still quiet as the older tried to figure out what to play. junhyung was near the middle stretching as well. dynamite dance practice actually featuring the three of them for once. that sentence alone had been one of the deciding factors in yugyeoms idea. the times the three of them could actually get together was so rare, and he knew it would only get harder as the semester started. 

he turned from the mirror, hands on his hips. “im not saying disband, but at least a break. we’ve been going rather steady since june and i know it was hard you on, hyung, during school.” a rare moment when he actually comes off as a leader. an arm stretching over his head as he sighs lightly, seeing seungmins nod from the corner of his eye.

“im taking more classes this semester too, jaehee wont be able to help out as much either.” seungmin said as he turned on one of their busking playlists, convex mansae starting to play just loud enough for them to still talk, before the older came and joined their half circle. “i planned to try and work my schedule around performing but...” he trailed off and yugyeom nodded.

“but it’d be easier if you didnt half to.” he finished, getting a small smile from the older male. junhyung let out an almost dramatic sounding sigh as he kicked his legs out in front of him and turned his attention onto the other two. 

“so i’ll be solo busking for a bit huh?” 

“you say that like you don’t enjoy it.” yugyeom joked, nudging his foot against his friends. silence was the response, and yugyeom understood. solo busking is fun, and generally junhyung can make more money on his own than with the group. but its different without the group, not the same energy. its kind of why yugyeom had made dynamite in the first place. it’s more fun to play off someone else when busking. 

“won’t be permanent. maybe till summer? and we can always show up randomly when we all have time.” yugyeom says, finally dropping down next to the other two and finishing the circle.��“figured we can pick up a few more performances during the week days, then finish round last weekend in february? i’ll make the announcement on the insta page and we can talk about it during performances closer to time.” he explained, seeing two nods, and giving them both a smile. it would have been nice to go a year with them without a break, maybe have a big celebration or something. but life happens, and yugyeom didnt want to put that stress on seungmin, nor on himself. if he was serious about this university kick, then’d he have to get serious. 

and as much fun as busking is, he knows he wont realistically do it forever. his goals are bigger, his dreams are bigger. he’ll dance on bigger stages, with more fans. but he’s gotta work there first. one step at a time.