#((on one hand. i'm not a huge fan of them *not* having 112% in their 'file' (...or. 108% (no pantheons) for their dream no more verse) ))

[abyssembraced]

Perhaps surprisingly, Ghost is actually quite merciful in a fight!

In general, they're a lot more reactive than they are proactive.

They do always give it their all in battle, and I suppose in that sense they could be considered rather ruthless. They'll never "go easy" on an opponent, since they don't actually know how to. They've never been in a situation before where doing such a thing would be relevant or useful. Everything they've fought during their life has either been Infected, a lesser creature that they're hunting for SOUL, or a highly skilled warrior that warrants them using their full capabilities. If someone asked Ghost to go easy on them in a spar, they'd probably just be confused about what that even meant?

The closest thing they've experienced to "going easy" on someone is simply not wasting unnecessary resources on a weak opponent. For example, if a lone, regular Vengefly has decided to harass them, Ghost isn't going to bother expending their gathered SOUL and Void with a spell when it'll fall in one hit from their nail.

Though, they are also cautious about how Void affects non-Void beings when they're around someone they care about not killing. Hornet has probably drilled it into them enough that the substance their body is made of is extremely dangerous to regular bugs dgshshfs. Plus they've seen examples of what Void can do to a bug from sources other than themself. Fortunately though, their Void infused spells (Abyss Shriek, Shade Soul, Descending Dark) are generally still safe enough to use in spars!

But, whether they fight and how long the fight lasts actually depends entirely on the other person. Ghost doesn't typically make the first strike or initiate a battle, and in cases where they do (such as the Mantis Lords fight), they make their intentions very clear with a challenge first. They aren't one for sneak attacks.

If someone attacks them, then they will fight back with all their might. But, if their opponent stops fighting, then they will too.

Against Infected foes, this usually means a fight to the death anyway, since due to the Radiance's influence, the enemy will not stop trying to kill Ghost until they either succeed or die trying. But against uninfected opponents like Hornet and the Mantis Lords, they can surrender, retreat, or even talk to Ghost safely without Ghost trying to go in for the kill. Even if that opponent was intending to kill Ghost themself. And for Infected and uninfected opponents alike, if they stagger, then Ghost will stop and wait for them, just to see if the fight is done or not.

If their opponent insists on fighting, though, then Ghost will never retreat themself, no matter how badly they get hurt. They'll keep fighting until their mask breaks, and even beyond that once they have Void Heart and can survive without it. Even in simple sparring matches. Self-preservation... Is not their strong suit dhdhshf.

This also means that my Ghost would not have killed the non-aggressive Infected enemies under most circumstances. In particular, they definitely never killed the other maggots (False Knight's siblings). Not only were those guys non-aggressive; they were sapient, terrified of Ghost, did not want to fight and very clearly showed this by actively running away. Ghost did not kill them. There was no reason to. Hell, I always feel really bad killing them for the Hunter's Journal entries lmao.

Regarding the Hunter's Journal entries, actually, for the enemies that they wouldn't have killed many of (if any at all), and perhaps even just in general, I'm inclined to say that Ghost still has the entries written down, but did so after just observing the specimens rather than killing them? Plus maybe also by inspecting the bodies of already dead creatures, like how you get the Garpede entry.

At least the initial entries anyway, which I like to think were actually written by Ghost. They probably don't have any of the "second tier" entries physically in the journal, considering that some of them (e.g. The direct quotes from the Warrior Dreams) make no sense for Ghost to know. But for the ones written specifically by the Hunter, maybe Ghost would pop by to show him their journal from time to time, and that's when he'd give them his input on Hallownest's creatures?

[shealwaysreads]

I posted 2,193 times in 2022

43 posts created (2%)

2,150 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sitp-recs

@fraddit

@the-starryknight

@hale-of-stiles-heart

@bluebutter-art

I tagged 2,184 of my posts in 2022

#hp - 707 posts

#drarry - 540 posts

#things to read - 282 posts

#art - 242 posts

#drarry fanart - 239 posts

#drarry fic rec - 164 posts

#gorgeous - 122 posts

#captive prince - 83 posts

#poetry and prose - 83 posts

#the writing life - 78 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#the softness this has? the moment of connection and the way they’re resting against each other (trusting and touching!!!!) my heart cant ta

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Righteous

Harry was the one who decided the law wasn’t for him. Not enforcing it and not following it either. 

Draco didn’t mind. Liked it in fact: the wildness, the risk. He liked the waiting and the planning, and he liked the aftermath. Adrenaline-fuelled and animal close. Fierce and blood-stained. Together.

Inspired by @drarrymicrofic’s prompt ‘criminal’

Read all of my microfics here

for @the-starryknight for being so wonderful ✨

112 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

#4

This is a thought that popped up while I was waxing lyrical in tags, but I didn’t want to lose it so here it is again.

Sometimes it strikes me how incredible fic recs are, and what a wonderful insight they give us into the person recommending the story (or list of stories) whether it’s someone reblogging a creator’s post with tags or commentary, or if it’s a special post they’ve made to rec a fic.

There are people I’ve never met whose recs give me this wonderful way of knowing them; of finding out what makes their heart clench, their eyes tear up, their smile to grow.

Recs are an amazing way of finding new things to read, but they are also a remarkable way of getting to know people in such an intimate way through the stories they hold close ❤️

182 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

#3

Helping hands

Sometimes Harry can’t get out of bed. Can’t brush his teeth. Can’t quite bear the weight still pressing down—interminable—on his shoulders.

The world is heavy.

Those days Draco casts gentle cleansing charms. Rests warm hands on Harry’s neck. He ties Harry’s shoelaces for him.

It’s a tender service—unexpected—not-light, but buoyant.

Inspired by @drarrymicrofic’s prompt ‘shoelaces’

Read all of my microfics here

251 notes - Posted August 12, 2022

#2

This is gonna be really random but I am so delighted that you have 30s in your bio. I'm 23 and at that point in my life where I'm entering adulthood and I've thought of my involvement in fandom and how that would change as I journeyed further into adulthood. And most of the time, especially on new platforms like tiktok, it's mostly younger people who are making fan content so it's amazing to see people actively enjoy fandom content as they become full adults. It's very freeing 💜

This was such a lovely ask to receive, I’m so touched and so glad that you reached out! You’ve tapped into a subject I have a Lot of Feelings about, so forgive the incoming ramble ❤️

I have had friends of all ages in fandom over the years, and those friendships have been more important than perhaps I gave them credit for at the time. I’ve been fandom-ing since I was about 14 and its been a hobby that’s brought me huge joy and allowed me to get to know so many lovely humans. They’ve modelled ways of living that I didn’t know about, have generously shared their time and knowledge and expertise and experience, and have been examples of preserving one’s joy amidst the reality of growing up and of living in an adult landscape that can become barren if you don’t intentionally enshrine what’s important to you. (The actual you, the one that lives in your heart.)

The narrative of ‘you’ll grow out of this’ or of setting aside your pleasures as you become an Adult™️ is incredibly pervasive and incredibly damaging. There is even more pressure on young women in particular, and I’ve seen so many instances of ‘oh my god you’re 30 why are you reading fanfic, shouldn’t you be married/mothering/doing your taxes?’ 

It’s easy to get tricked into believing these social strictures are rules that really mean something, but reducing yourself to something prescribed by….who, exactly? (The people and structures that are interested in keeping us small, and bored, and tired, and empty-hearted, and too worn out to argue when they want to take more of our money and eat into more of our precious time here on this precious planet with all of these precious people) It’s a losing game! How much do you think you would need to give up to please the anonymous Life Police who are apparently out to make sure we’re all living the most stripped-back life we can?

If something makes you happy, if it gives you pleasure or comfort or inspiration, then it has a meaningful place in your life. This isn’t hedonism, it is a fundamental basis for a life worth living. 

Fandom is fundamentally about fun—it’s a small word for a big phenomenon, full of community, and friendship, and connection. It’s a folk-space where there is room for everyone, where you can explore the subversive and the comforting all in one blog. It’s where all of us can contribute—making art of all kinds, celebrating each other, inspiring each other, debating each other, stepping out of our daily lives to indulge in the essential, essential, work of imagination and creativity and enjoyment.

Play doesn’t stop being important when you stop being a child, or a teen. We’re human: telling tales and making marks, and sitting together around the fire enjoying it all is in our DNA. Fandom is just another circle of humans joining together to listen to stories and be together.

So. Enjoy being 23, but don’t fear 33, or 53, or 73!

You’ll be yourself; wiser and older, and more well-lived, but you’ll still be yourself. You’ll still laugh, with love, at your childhood and teenage embarrassing moments.

You’ll still remember when that actor did that movie, in that outfit.

You’ll have playlists full of music that brings back summers and parties and heartbreaks, and you’ll still know every lyric of all of those songs.

You’ll have new hobbies, and you’ll have your old hobbies, and maybe you’ll leave them for years at a time but you’ll come back to them unexpectedly and joyfully.

You don’t have to give anything up, not if it still makes you happy!

❤️

260 notes - Posted July 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Flushed

Draco used to be pale.

Before summer’s heat cracked them all open next to the lake.

Before angry words then quiet ones.

Before firewhiskey-loose tongues.

Before laughter, unbelievable laughter.

Before banked embers and heat low in the belly.

Before flushed cheeks, sun-wrought freckles, lips kissed pink, mouth-shaped bruises.

Before Harry.

Inspired by @drarrymicrofic’s prompt ‘pale’

Read all of my microfics here

To @sweet-s0rr0w @the-starryknight @tackytigerfic @maesterchill you all have my entire heart for reminding me I’m still a writer ❤️

303 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[katmaeart]

Week 5 Post

'Skin Shows'

I was excited about this reading, and made a lot fo good connections to myself, the media I consume, and my art practice. I am a huge fan of The Twilight Saga, and saw lots of connections to that in this reading.

'Pleasure disables others' (Halberstam 71). When it's too good, it's hard to stop. That can apply to a lot of things, and touches issues on consent. Relating that to Twilight, I thought about at the end of the movie, when Bella was bit by James in her ballet studio and Edward had to decide if he was going to save her, he had to suck the venom out of her blood. Edward has described Bella as his own brand of heroin, always wondering what it would be like to drink her blood. And now he finally gets to, but it could be overpowering. Too much. Too yummy. he had to push down that desire and pleasure of the taste of her blood in order to save her. Tasting her blood was like no other, disabling his intuition and sense of realism.

'Until an original site of trauma reveals itself in therapy, it remains foreign to body and mind but active in both' (Halberstam 72). This one hit home. I have gone through a lot of trauma in my time (wow Katrina who hasn't). Something I've always been worried about is it coming back up, being triggered. This trauma is living in my shell, undetected, repressed, until something brings it out. Connecting to Newton's First Law- an object at rest will stay at rest until acted upon. This trauma will stay undetected, hiding, until it's brought to life. The traumas I'm referring to (I won't name them), never got sprung on in my everyday life, thank god, so now that I'm in therapy, they're bubbling up, and I'm having to deal with them.

>>>>>>

'Monster Metaphors: Notes on Michael Jackson's Thriller'

Again, thinking of Twilight. I looked up queer-ness in Twilight, and found this scholarly article; Triangulated desire in Meyer's Twilight: A Queer Dynamic, from the Journal of Dracula Studies. I am TEAM EDWARD, and don't think he's gay.

Anyways, getting back to the reading. This reading speaks to me as a queer person. How long I stayed in the closet, how I feel like I have to be in the closet when I'm home (I live at home). What I choose to be, and let others see. Not letting others know what we do in the shadows.

'Act of vampirism- happens at night, alone, in the bedroom stereotypically' (Mercer 112). When we're queer, we can't really show it in public. When I hold my girlfriend's hand in public, we get dirty looks, and I glare right back. I wish I could just be. Apologizing, I'm going to be making ANOTHER connection to Twilight. In Twilight, Edward and Bella share moments in this specific location called the meadow. In the meadow, Edward shows Bella his glistening skin 'this is the skin of a killer Bella'. They share intimate moments. Just laying down in the field, full of flowers. Curling up next to one another. In this meadow, they can just be. They don't have to hide their emotions, their attraction, desire. It's a safe space for them, maybe even a brave space. Last year I made a painting called The Meadow, representing this location for my girlfriend and I. I'm wanting a place for her and I to just me. We don't have to be seen as freaks for our abnormalities. We can just be. Just exist and love one another.