#((it's 3 am and im emo okay leave me alone)) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

consistent-self-destruction · 1 year ago

Text

oh wow, the last time i posted was basically exactly a year ago lol.

well both a lot and nothing's changed much, i'm back to b emo again so that alone should say enough without saying anything

if anything things have gotten WORSE lmfao, i'm literally not supposed to be here right now but unfortunately the attempt fucking failed

nobody tells you how embarrassing that is - how did you fail at everything INCLUDING trying to kill yourself LMFAO, LIKE DAMN YOU REALLY CANT WIN

okay im being silly to cope but idk. when i got in touch with my counselor after it happened, she asked how much i wanted to be alive here on a scale from 1-10, with 10 being i literally wanna die right now in this instant, and 1 being miraculous healing and lifetime peace. the first day after i told her 8.5. three days later i said 3. it's a few weeks later now, and ive realized that my answer to the question has been sliding up and down everyday.

this is not even what i wanna talk about, i don't know how i ended up talking about that lol. anyway actually wait ANOTHER sb but artists im obsessed with rn: ka$hdami and 6arelyhuman okay moving on now ummm im trying so hard to be a 1 on that scale and maintain optimism and hope but like things keep going wrong and everything keeps irritating me and i genuinely feel like shit and i dont want to feel like shit because freaking 2014 just started, the year just started but unfortunately i am not optimistic about this year at all - i can't predict what will happen or how it will go or feel, everything is uncertain and im tired of being so unsure and incapable and it makes me want to leave earth because it's all just so tiring and now im just rambling hhhhh

to gather my thoughts coherently.. im bleeding out my fucking gooch. my charger is broken and wont charge my phone unless it's at an angle. my back camera is broken, my phone's been having storage issues, i don't feel pretty these days, i don't know what to do with my hair, it's freaking cold as hell in my house, i've got a sore throat, the only bathroom in the house with a bathtub has cold water so i can't take any soothing baths which is one of the best parts of being home, my sleep schedule is entirely in reverse, and i just feel so energetically exhausted. the house is a mess and my room is cluttered and my mom wants me to take down the christmas decorations, and i WANT to because cleaning makes me feel productive but i just don't have the stamina or ENERGY, like i feel physically sick and unwell and irritated and run down and incapable and i hate it so much, why is 2024 already off to the worst. and that's just in the present tense. in the future tense, like i said i am not optimistic about this year at all. i anticipate it being a really really difficult year and it makes me wanna cry because i don't wanna do it but i know i need to. you know how they say you have to get through the storm to see the other side? or some shit like that idfk, i dont wanna go through the storm! im so tired of the rain im so tired of being cold im so tired of goosebumps and anxiety and uncertainty and all of it !!!!!!! i've been trying to find my way through a storm for YEARS and it has not let up ONCE. i want to stop but i tried doing that and the universe just took me off pause and made me keep going, why couldn't they just let me join the stars. it would've been so much easier.

instead i have to stay here and try my best to heal and recover and work around my issues but i just can't imagine it, i can't imagine getting better i just don't see it. i can daydream about a version of myself that's better and stronger all i want, but i know in my heart that she'll never exist because i've been trying to be her for years and i just can't get there. i keep falling short. i keep failing. i keep taking L after L after L and im just. so. tired. i don't want to try anymore.

it's not always like this. sometimes there will be something that motivates me and makes me feel inspired to live again. but it always passes by and i come back to these feelings and this state. i keep falling back into this hole and it's such an exhausting up and down and back and forth.

the reason im here being emo again is i just feel like i can't talk to anyone about this. usually when i come back to this freaking blog that's the case. i always come back here when i have feelings that i need to release but i dont feel comfortable sharing with anyone. i don't wanna say anything on my spam because i don't want anyone to see all this negativity and darkness in me, and i don't want my close friends and innocent people to be randomly laden with this kind of depressing energy just as the year FRESH started and they're only casually scrolling their feed. you know what i mean? i hate scrolling my feed and seeing depressing shit. i don't wanna do that to my friends. i want peace and good vibes and good energy and a clean refreshing start to the year for them. i want them to be happy. i dont wanna post on my spam something that will gut their heart out, bring their mood down, and make them see me different. and it's the same with my best friend. not so much the last part cause they already know all these sides of me. and that is really relieving. but the only reason why i hold back from telling them this right now is because of the first reason - the year just started. they don't need this energy. we've already been having realtalks that are depressing enough. they dont need me calling them and texting them every time i feel depressed and manic and lost - that would be so shitty and i hate people who do that. it's energy stealing and self-centered. and for obvious reasons i don't talk to my family about these things. so i am left with this silly little blog, my beautiful void. oh how i love speaking into the void. it gives the illusion of speaking to someone without actually speaking to anyone. it's a perfect release.

but yeah idk, long story short im on my period, im sick with a sore throat, freezing in my house, feeling ugly and tired and incapable and irritated, with an inability to find optimism for the future and worst of all NO HOES! <;/3333

dude.. no because my love life is an entirely different type of pain. it's so... dude.

in the very least, i should be starting long-term therapy this year. that's the plan at least. my counselor gave me some recommendations, offices to call, and i have my dad's support. i'm gonna call in the numbers either tomorrow or thursday. i say this as "in the least" because even though i know it's supposed to be helpful, im not too optimistic about it. i don't like how many times i've used that word smfh. but im not - i don't really look forward to opening up about my 5 billion issues to a complete stranger. i have a hard enough time with the idea of how people perceive me. when i first started having sessions with my counselor, it really did not help because i didn't open up to her in the way i was supposed to. i told her surface level shit and sugar coated things instead of telling her the important things. im worried im only going to do that again. i don't like people seeing the worst of me - even when im PAYING them to see that side of me and when i NEED to show that side of me in order to FIX it. rahhhhhh. i also don't really look forward to it because i just see it as something large and overwhelming and unsolvable. my mental health that is. i don't look forward to tackling it in therapy. for only once a week? with that rate it's gonna take YEARS for me to figure myself out. and not only do i not have that kind of time, but it sounds so frustrating - slow agonizing progress, if any progress is made at all. im in such a pessimistic mood right now and i'm really not always like this - but this is also just the logical side of my brain. i just don't see it working out. i want it to. i want it to work badly - that's why we're going to try it. but i still am not optimistic about what the outcome will be and i am more daunted by the emotional and mental energy it will take out of me. i am second guessing if i should do school at the same time as therapy. i don't think any of this will go well. i only see myself getting consumed by things all over again - losing energy and motivation and time and getting depressed when everything goes wrong again. i think i might just also be scared by the process of healing. healing itself is not scary - but the process is terrifying. i don't trust it. i don't know if it will work. every time i thought i was healing i was just spiraling into a new unknown. the process of healing sounds so energetically draining, it sounds so deceptive, it sounds so emotionally torturing, it sounds fake, and it sounds incredibly time consuming and i already am NOT in time's favor. so i guess that's why i am not optimistic about this year - because i already know what the theme is. i already know what my focus is. this year for me, is all about healing and learning myself better. learning how to overcome my worst habits, my worst thoughts and emotions, and navigate situations that trigger them. this year is intended to be the year i start therapy. the year i put my mental health in the spotlight after years of trying to navigate it and figure it out on my own. i know the fact that im going to have professional support and guidance is supposed to be encouraging, but im so focused on the fact that there is so MUCH i need support and guidance with - and i need to tackle all of it once a week.. while in school... engaging with the very environment that deeply triggers me as i try not to be triggered, figure out ways around being triggered, SUCCEED at not getting triggered so i can therefore succeed in my academic environment, AND also figure out ways to make money on my own on the side. and that's not even going into deeper detail. idk, i just have so many needs to meet, and a billion things on my mind - obligations, responsibilities, needs, and they're all scrambled up in this big black scribble in my brain that's so thick i can hardly see through to the other side. and i don't like that blockage. i don't like that lack of foresight and clarity. i don't like the uncertainty. it makes me nervous and hesitant and resistant. i want to resist this year and this life so badly.

but all in all im just so tired. as always. it never goes away. the rage and frustration and exhaustion it just never goes away and i just really want a long long hug and a nice backrub.

please.

- 1.3.24 | 1:05 AM -

0 notes

brb-screaming-over-amphibia · 3 years ago

Text

OKAY SO APPARENTLY MATT AND THE CREW DECIDED TO MAKE ME EVEN MORE EMO ABOUT DOMINO AND ANNE BY NOT ONLY HAVING ANNE’S PARENTS PUT A DOMINO/CAT PLUSH TO AMPHIBIA, BUT ALSO A PICTURE OF ANNE AND HER FAM AND DOMINO AND ALSO A CAT PENCIL LIKE LIKE??? i am not gonna be normal for the next few years haha h a

#MATT STOP #S T O P #IM EMO ENOUGH ALREADY #LEAVE ME ALONE #amphibia #the picture though ;;;;#i am feeling many emotions #o(-(#friend: you're crying over a cartoon for kids? again??#me: DOMINO GOT TO ME OKAY #amphibia spoilers #amphibia s3 spoilers #amphibia s3 #amphibia season 3

35 notes · View notes

heartsunholy-a · 6 years ago

Text

literally anytime i write a spot thread, i mention fiona and that just shows you the level of mama’s boy my brooklyn bby is

#((WE. STAN. FIONA. CONLON. IN. THIS. HOUSE))#i'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color (ooc)#((it's 3 am and im emo okay leave me alone))#connection » i ain't got no old man ; but my ma? she's a bonafide angel (fiona conlon)

3 notes · View notes

forjongseong · 2 years ago

Note

NANA I AM FINALLY HERE AND AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH okay the way you described Jay cooking and his mom telling him to chill BRUH LMAO me tbh and then MR. LEE THE REALEST ONE OUT HERE approaching jay!!!!!!

Is this a goodbye set?

SHUT THE FUCK-

I don’t feel like pushing the trolley alone.

BRUH ME AF LMAO i always take my nieces and nephews to the store with me. i make them push the carts and carry the basket. lol they think im buying them things, WHICH I DO, but i make them work for me hehehehehehh

Each day you spend with Heeseung, you learn something new about Jay.

STOP IT! MY HEART IS BREAKING ALREADY.

“Do you see him in your future?”

NANA! not me listening to taylor swift and crying omfg I CANT WAIT TO TELL MY BF LATER AND CRY TO HIM T_T

You rolled over to the right side of your bed, where Jay used to sleep. You caught a whiff of his scent from the pillowcase and you froze.

omg nana, not me legit crying lol like idk what it is about me rn, but i am IN TEARS emo hours hitting hard lolol maybe because i was brought back to when my bf and i first broke up and i was missing him. ugh, we were stupid then but stupidly in love now. dhadhashsahahaah T-T

When ordering a drink at a café, he mentioned your favorite drink instead of his own

stopppppppp it omfg my heart is crushing i- i cant right now.

Surprisingly, Jinyoung did not fall back and instead retaliated, landing a punch on Jay’s face.

THE WAY I FUCKING SCREAMED but i need to stop screaming. my sister is asleep and she works third shift sfashdhajdsak

He let you move his face around, and although he looked serious, he was dying inside from having to suppress the feeling of wanting to just pull you into his embrace.

nana i am gushing here LORDDDD i can picture this all so well T-T jay just wanting to just throw everything away and hug her aaahhhh!!

Soon after, you stopped in your tracks and looked down, sobbing.

i wasnt gonna comment on this but I JUST HAD TO. i paused from reading and broke down crying idk why defghdjsakda maybe because i've been here before and i understand where she's coming from

“I’ve said stuff I didn’t mean that ended up driving you away.”

Jay chuckled softly. “If anything, I should be the one apologizing for leaving you all alone.”

me cryingcryingcrying omfg DO YOU KNOW MY LIFE, NANA? lmao jkjk

“Hey, Park, I just wanted to ask—Oh, shit.”

HWI I AM CRYING HERE OMG WHY DID U RUIN THE MOMENT SDFGHJKL

He didn’t need to walk through fire, for his fire was you.

my heart is so fucking happy right now, LIKE THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

OKAY NANA HERE IT IS LMAO i fucking love this series so much. SO FUCKING MUCH. their lil argument and jay being away got me in tears. when she slipped in the bathroom and called for jay, I CRIED. i paused again and broke down crying. like i said, relatable to when my bf and i broke up the first time. im in shambles, speechless, BECAUSE THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL, NANA. my heart strings were tugged and then i walked through fire with jay T_T thank you soooooooo much for writing this. <3

Man I'm sorry this relates to you so much I swear I wasn't spying on you and your boyfriend! akjsdhkjasdhsakjhsda what Taylor Swift song were you listening too? Did you tell your bf yet?

prepare for part 5.5 in which boss yn and secretary!Jay go on a trip (spoiler alert) with the rest of the hyungline!

#nanaanswers #from.genie #nanafeedbacks #fic: tusa

2 notes · View notes

yoshkeii · 4 years ago

Text

Bokuto Confession hcs!

࿐ character: Bokuto Koutarou

࿐ genre: fluff, soft, confessions!

࿐ requested by: GreenTheSimp on Ao3!

࿐ imagine/scenario: “some Bokuto headcannons on how he asks Khai out? Plus maybe him being a goof towards his s/o.”

A/N: fyi, most of these will be coming from my Ao3 since I started writing there first! it’s not much and i generally don’t proof read these so im sorry if there are small errors, this one is a bit longer since I made two chapters for it. im so bad at writing istg,,

≫ ──── ≪ Confession Time ≫ ──── ≪

❀ First, Bokuto would be oblivious to his crush and his feelings for you till it was brought up multiple times by his team, and eventually at the volleyball camp from the other schools. Most likely Kuroo nagging him about the certain someone, Khai, Bokuto talks about so much.

❀ You and Bokuto were friends for quite some time, maybe at least a year or so. And being in the same class as him, you guys had time to interact with each other and even plan hangouts whenever you could.

❀ And yes, this man talks 24/7 about you without even noticing- this varies from your interactions during the school day, your conversations during classes and lunch, stupid dumb texts you guys have once in a while, the answers you give him from the many of many questions he asked you... the list goes on and on. This makes it easy for his friends to identify his fucking crush on you. him being so oblivious about it hurts their brains istg

❀ He's extremely bubbly around you, super friendly and kind but you usually brush it off as his normal personality. ibetyou'llbeoblivioustooaboutit.

❀ Once Bokuto awakened to his crush and feelings for you he found it extremely difficult to act like it was normal before. The slight blush on his cheeks was a much solid shade. His heart skipping beats every time he saw you walk in the room. Your laugh, your smile, anything about you made him so nervous around you now. When you directly smile at him, hearing your laughs at his jokes or actions will make this man just seize to exist.

❀ Bokuto can't stop thinking about you after that thought, always finding his mind wandering to the dorkiest, sappy shit thing he would do with you.

❀ Sometimes he found himself avoiding you at some points just so he can keep himself in check and not be an embarrassment around you-

❀ He still craves your attention but he gets a lingering fear he might mess something up so he has an internal fight with himself and it just- hurts him sm- poor owl,,

❀ Akaashi finds himself trying to motivate and support emo Bokuto at these moments, usually through texts or calls when they aren't near each other etc.

❀ You would generally think he would just confess to you as soon as he had the chance but actually took this on a slow thoughtful ride. To the point, it did affect his skill at practice, which notified his teammates about it fairly quickly. Bokuto was so deep in thought about it all he was unsure how to process his confession, when, where, what would make you happy, if you liked him back and such.

❀ This eventually leads to him asking Akaashi, the team, and friends (from the other teams' ofc-), on how he should confess to you. All of the answers didn't seem to fit Bokuto in a comfortable way either, which is hella surprising. Before he decided to do something pretty simple.

❀ Earlier today, Bokuto asked you to wait for him a few minutes after class. Knowing you two had different club activities after school, him having volleyball and you have [Khai's favorite activity]. It was the best option to get your attention since your clubs ended at different times made it difficult. And so you did, meeting him outside of your classroom, just you and him.

❀ Bokuto felt anxious about being alone with you, especially like this.

❀ "Hey, Khai..?"

❀ "What is it, Bo?"

❀ That little nickname you gave him, always and I mean always made his heart skip 10 beats. The blush on his cheeks grew a shade darker.

❀ "Wanna walk home.. t-together...?" Bokuto quickly mustered out the words, knowing his throat would dry up sooner or later.

❀ Both of you actually took a similar route home after school, which you guys figured out on a rainy day.

❀ "Oh, sure! Don't you have practice though?" You tilted your head innocently, your hair moving as well revealing the smallest of details that made Bokuto swoon.

❀ "Coach said we should rest for our game tomorrow"

❀ "Ah- that makes sense, I forgot about that-" You giggled lightly before you took the lead of heading out of the building.

❀ Bokuto froze at your giggle before you dragged him behind you. Your hand softly around his wrist. "C'mon slowpoke," you teased.

❀ He smiled slightly before he caught up to you. Walking aside from you at the same pace.

❀ It was an awkward walk. Bokuto was oddly quiet which made you slightly worried.

❀ "Bokuto? You alright..?" You finally broke the silence, looking up at the Ace to your right.

❀ "P-perfectly fine!"

❀ "You stuttered."

❀ "Did... I..?"

❀ "Yes, dummy- What's wrong?"

❀ "I-... Damn it. Khai."

❀ Before you knew it, he pulled you into a kiss. His large hands cupping your face as he planted his lips softly onto yours, pulling away from a little with only a few inches from your lips. Bokuto looked straight into your brown eyes, staring back with his golden eyes. The blush on his cheeks flushed with shades of red.

❀ "I like you. Wait- No.. I love you." Bokuto muttered softly, feeling his breath on your lips made you shiver.

❀ You just giggled, before it grew into genuine laughter. He widened his eyes removing his hands from your face.

❀ "H-hey..!! What's so funny!?"

❀ "It was so obvious Bo~"

❀ "Was.. was it!? I-"

❀ You cut him off, "I love you too Koutarou."

❀ Him hearing you use his first name WITH you saying ily to him, made his day. A bright smile plastered on his face, he hugged you lifting you up and kissing your face all over.

❀ "HEY HEY HEYYYY!! Khai likes me back!! Actually, Khai LOVES me!" Bokuto exclaimed happily

❀ After that, Bokuto was back to his normal, loud, excited self throughout the walk. You guys began to have your simple conversations again, him poking you with questions trying to get to know you even more. Having the lingering doubt he had from rejection and negativity was lifted-off from him. He even mentioned having your first date so soon-

❀ He couldn't wait to bring the news to his team and friends.

❀ He can't wait to see you by his side every day.

≫ ──── ≪ Confession Aftermath ≫ ──── ≪

❀ After the confession, Bokuto would rarely ever leave your side. So he does get clingy to you as he does with Akaashi. He's not much for PDA but he's also not against the thought, he unconsciously hugs you, wrapping his arms around your torso, waist, arms, and sometimes around your neck at least- Sometimes light kisses and pecks but those are generally rare unless he's really excited about something.

❀ He gets really flustered sometimes when you addressed him as your boyfriend the first few days and maybe weeks after starting the relationship. He's just not used to it- It gives this hunk of a man butterflies in his stomach a lot.

❀ Whenever you guys had to leave each other for your designated classes, you tend to find cute notes in your locker whenever you open them. Having cute phrases, flirts, compliments, and silly pick-up lines. You already knew it was from Bokuto because you... sometimes catch him lurking around your locker- just never brought up to him knowing it would genuinely make him sad.

❀ Bokuto just finds it cool that you don't know at first okay-

❀ You always tried to go to his practices and even games when you guys were just friends. Knowing that if Bokuto saw any of his friends out in the stands made his confidence skyrocket so much-

❀ But since you guys are now in a relationship, it makes Bokuto smile so much every time he spots you in the stands of the crowds. Cheering him on boosts his confidence so fucking much- like if this man is in emo mode please cheer for him, it helps a ton (Akaashi and the team might thank you also-)

❀ Long-lasting phone calls that continue till like 3-4 am. Sometimes facetime/video calls if you both have the ability to! He loves seeing your face, he finds it so fucking adorable with all your smallest features and details.

❀ Bokuto probably changed your contact name on his phone to something like "baby owl" with like emojis or something- or literally, just nick (pet) names he has for you- "baby, bae, cloud, cutie, feather, angel, king/queen, prince/princess" and so on. He looooves having names for you because it makes him smile every time he finds things that remind him of you (which generally is how he figures some of them out-)

❀ Whenever this man finds you sad, upset, stressed, or literally in any negative emotion. He will try his damn hardest to make you feel better even if its the slightest, and if it is the slightest he'll keep going to you are perfectly fine and dandy.

❀ He'll even go out of his way to skip practice if needed to comfort your sad butt- He'll give you cuddles, so many cuddles. He's practically a cuddle monster so better prepare for how long you'll stay in his arms afterward-

❀ Whenever you guys are just cuddling in general, he loves to nuzzle his face into your hair, your neck, and shoulder. Just craving the touch and comfort of his lover. Even if it's the slightest of motion, he'll take whatever he can get!

❀ Continuing on the cuddling situation, one of the secret things he loves about you is how you smell. The shampoo you use for your hair, the body wash, perfume or cologne.

❀ Since it's fall season (as of I'm writing this ofc-), Bokuto will drag you around for some walks in the cool weather through parks. Honestly hoping to find leaves to pile and fall into with you! I'd think one of Bo's love language would be quality time (and words of affirmation.) So hanging out with him makes this owl the happiest man to walk on this planet.

❀ Whenever you are cold on these walks, he won't hesitate to wrap his arms around you. If it's a specific part of your body that is cold, for example, your hands. He'll definitely hold his hands over yours. Maybe planting a kiss on them afterward (accidentally getting flustered seconds later-)

❀ Bokuto might also just stare at your hands clasped together, noticing the size difference for the 100000000000000th time

❀ Honestly, he likes to use Instagram and Snapchat filters with you. It's really cute af,, he's such a dork for couple things

❀ Body issues? Bokuto will love every part of you no matter what, comforting that every part of your body is perfect as it is. He'll softly plant kisses wherever you feel insecure. He'll cuddle you till you agree with him that you are a perfect human being.

❀ Don't try to sneak out of it. He's hella stubborn with topics like these- He ain't that dense and dumb guys,,

A/N: I love me some Bokuto huuuuu

#at-dusk;- 🌆#folder 📁;- 𝙷𝚊𝚒𝚔𝚢𝚞𝚞 #bokuto x reader #bokuto x male reader #bokuto x gender neutral reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu x gender neutral reader #x reader #x male reader #bokuto imagine #bokuto headcanons #bokuto koutarou #soft headcanons #fluff headcanons #confession headcanons

166 notes · View notes

little-kat07 · 4 years ago

Text

The Perfect Cake

[OH MY GOD GUYS LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!!

A couple days ago, i suddenly remembered that I HAVE AN AO3 ACCOUNT. I completely forgot I had one. So I went back and looked at my works and holy hell guys, I had a ONESHOT BOOK! BUT I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ONESHOTS WERE SO I CALLED THEM ‘Sanders Stories’, BECAUSE THEY WERE SANDERS SIDES. THEY’RE KIND OF CRAPPY BUT ALSO REALLY NOSTALGIC AND I’M SO HAPPY I FOUND THEM!!!!

This one particular one is called “The Perfect Cake,” and i’m actually kind of proud of past me for it, even though it’s not that good. It’s fluffy Logicality with a gallon of Patton angst because that is literally all I’m good at writing.

So I’m going to leave this here, as well as a link to the book! GUYS I’M JUST SO HAPPY!]

[In case you’re confused, the link I send will be to the whole book so the first chapter isn’t the one that I’m pasting here. This chapter, The Perfect Cake, is the second oneshot and the first one is prinxiety]

Link to book

---

Pairings: Logicality

TW: Baking, feelings of worthlessness, crying, birthday, breakdown

Summary: It’s Logan’s birthday tomorrow, and Patton is determined to bake the PERFECT cake for it (Even if he hasn’t baked that much before.) He’s trying his best, but he can’t do it alone.

---

Patton stood in the center of the kitchen.

He often had the same feeling in his stomach before he cooked something big; He had to mentally prepare himself for hours of work.

Logan's Birthday was tomorrow, and Patton had to make it the best possible birthday! This was the anniversary of the first day Thomas went to preschool- the day Logan was formed.

Patton remembered that day like it was yesterday. He remembered a small toddler with an intelligent sparkle in his eye knocking on the door of the commons, he remembered how he swore Patton's hugs might suffocate someone. He remembered growing up with him, and slowly falling in love, and-

Shoot. No. These emotions weren't logical, it was impossible for Logan to like Patton back. He had to stop thinking like that.

Illogical feelings or not, tomorrow was Logan's day to shine, and it had to be perfect. Patton had to bake the most amazing, most beautiful, most delicious cake ever to grace the Mind-scape.

Patton took a deep breath and got to work.

After a few hours, Patton had been worked to death. He had been trying and trying to make the perfect cake, but it was always just wrong, or the product of a mistake. His pink apron was wrinkled and dirty, and he had streaks of batter all over his face. He had started at 6 am, and it was now 8. He sighed and rubbed his face, grateful that he still had his optimism.

"Patton? You ok, Padre?"

Patton turned to find Roman standing in the kitchen doorway, eyes sparking with worry.

Patton smiled. "Oh, I'm alright, kiddo. Just trying to bake a cake for Logan. I can't seem to get it right."

Roman smirked and came in. "Want some help? I've never baked before, but I'll help if it's bothering you."

Patton grinned and gave the Prince a huge hug. "Thank you so much, kiddo! I'm sure you will be a great help!"

Oh, how wrong Patton had been.

Virgil had often joked about how Roman wouldn't stop singing to save his life, and Patton was pretty sure that was true. Every 5 minutes, just as they started to get some work done, the prince would start belting out lyrics to disney songs or dancing around the kitchen. They got as far as perfectly mixing the batter before Patton had to stop him.

"Look, kiddo..." Patton started, rubbing his hands together and trying to find a way to put this nicely. "You helped me make the perfect batter, and I am so proud of you for that, but I think maybe you should clock out? You have been a great help, but you... Um... Sing a lot." Patton winced, afraid Roman was going to be offended.

Roman nodded in understanding and put a hand on patton's shoulder. "Hey, don't worry about it. I know I can be distracting. Do you want me to go see if Virgil will help you?"

Patton nodded, thankful. "That would be great!"

Roman left the kitchen yelling "HOT TOPIC! PAT WANTS YOU!"

Patton watched him go with a proud smile, and then turned to clean up the kitchen.

Just as he was halfway through cleaning, Virgil came into the kitchen with his hood up. "Sup', Pop star?"

Patton grinned and gave Virgil a big hug, which the emo reluctantly returned. "My dark, strange son! I am baking a cake for Logan’s birthday, and I need your help!" Patton pulled away from Virgil, smiling. "Roman already helped me make the batter, but he can be a bit much in the kitchen. Would you mind helping out for the rest of the process?"

Virgil shrugged. "I have nothing better to do."

Patton knew that that was Virgil's way of saying "I would love to."

Virgil was very helpful cleaning up the kitchen. He had a sort of efficient way of doing things, just one after the other, not saying a word. It was kind of satisfying to watch.

It got a bit hectic after that, though. Once they were done cleaning, they had to pour the batter into the pans. It was going to be a big cake, like, "Corpse Bride" big. So they had to use multiple pans and lots of batter. Virgil had violently shaky hands, and had lots of trouble pouring the batter in. In the end, Patton had to pour all the batter himself, and the kitchen ended up very messy.

Virgil's eyeshadow was darker than when he had initially come in. "I-im sorry... I didn't mean to mess up, I just-"

Patton smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. "No no, you didn't do anything wrong, kiddo! You just had a little trouble with steadying your hands. I'm very proud of you for helping me clean up, but maybe we should get someone else to help us here? Maybe Jan?"

Virgil smirked sadly. "I think maybe i'll duck out for now, but I'll tell Janus you want his help."

"Thanks, son!"

Virgil stepped out of the kitchen yelling "HEY SNAKE BOY!"

Patton sighed. This was not going the way he had wanted it to. He did realize that if Janus ended up being bad at this, his last choice was Remus, and he was terrified of going down that road.

He had just cleaned the batter from the stovetop when Janus walked into the kitchen. "Hey Pat, did you need something?"

Pat smiled tiredly. "Hey, Janjan. I was going to bake a cake for Logan, but i'm having some trouble. Roman and Virge weren't so good at it, so I wanted to see if you would help?"

Jan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm tooooootally not disappointed that you worked with Emo and Sir Singalot before you thought about the second smartest person here," He said sarcastically.

"Mm-hm!" Patton managed to say before taking a deep breath to control himself.

Janus helped Patton bake the cake and even out the tops with a bread knife. The next thing they had to do was spread the buttercream filling on the layers so they could be stacked.

Jan looked in the fridge like Patton told him to. "I don't see the buttercream."

Patton walked over and scanned the fridge. It was gone.

He took a few deep breaths and ran a hand through his hair. "Where the heck is it? If I have to make more, I swear I will-"

"Make more of what?" Remus poked his head into the kitchen curiously.

"The buttercream filling for Logan's cake is gone."

Remus cocked his head. "Buttercream? Hmmm... OH! Yeah, I ate that."

Patton's eyes widened. "You did WHAT?" Remus smiled fearfully while Patton yelled. "THE ONE THING YOU EAT THAT IS ACTUAL FOOD, AND IT HAS TO BE THE BUTTERCREAM?"

For once, Janus looked worried. "Patton, are you ok? You aren't acting like yourself..."

The dad side breathed in and out rapidly, his hands running through his hair. He tried to calm himself down- He was the happy side, not the angry side. He could get through this. "I'm fine. I'm calm. I can do this."

"Gee, I'm sorry, Pat," Said Remus. He suddenly grinned. "I can throw it up for you, if you want!"

"NO! No, no. I think we will be ok," Janus said, pushing Remus out of the room. He turned to face Pat. "Patpat, are you ok?"

Janus sometimes called Patton Patpat, mostly as payback for Patton calling him Janjan. But when the two became good friends, they used them as nicknames instead.

"I'm fine, Janjan. I'm just having some feelings. Feelings are okay though! I'm ok."

Janus sighed. "If you say so."

They worked together to make a new batch of buttercream, allowing the cake to cool. The original buttercream had been baby blue, but Patton had no more baby blue dye, so they used indigo instead. They layered and stacked the cake with the buttercream, used support sticks to keep the cake from falling over, and then started to layer it with dark blue fondant.

Patton looked over at Janus. "Would you mind taking off the gloves? Sorry, but this is very delicate and I think you should use your bare hands."

Janus frowned. "I shouldn't. I have scales on my left hand, if I use it, it will leave a scale imprint on the fondant."

Patton blinked sadly at him. "Oh, ok."

Patton handled the fondant, and as he fit it into place, he thought the cake looked beautiful. "Only one thing left to do: DECORATE!!!"

Patton was an amazing decorator.

After years of theming cookies and cupcakes to each side, baking birthday cakes, and writing messages in crofters jelly for a scavenger hunt, Patton had a handle on how to make things look presentable. Right now, It was a giant 3-layer cake with blue fondant covering, but soon, it would be a masterpiece.

Janus coughed uncomfortably behind Patton. "Um... Since i'm not very good at this stuff... Can I go? I have my own present I wanted to work on."

Patton smiled at him. "Sure! Don't spoil anything to Lolo, ok?"

Deceit nodded and almost left the kitchen before turning back and saying, "Uh, hey, Patpat? Don't stress yourself out too much, 'Kay?"

Patton nodded back. "Of course."

Janus smiled, relieved, and left.

---

Patton was SO TIRED.

It was 8 in the morning on Logan's Birthday. Patton had worked all night on that cake and when he had finally finished it, he went right to bed without doing anything in between. He had just woken up, feeling groggy and confused, but he made himself get out of bed because it was Logan's special day.

Logan woke up that day happy. He knew that a birthday was pointless, it was a celebration of one year passing in an entities life, it made no logical sense. But if the other sides wanted to shower him with attention once per fricking year, he did not want to miss this chance.

Patton got out of bed the last out of all the others. Logan had woken up to the other four sides, Janus, Remus, Roman, and Virgil ready for him in the living room with gifts and treats. Logan had thought that Patton would be the first there, energized and grinning, the way he always was. But Patton was nowhere in sight.

When Patton did come out, he put on his best happy face and gave Logan the biggest hug he could muster. Logan smiled a little. "To this day, I swear, your hugs might suffocate someone!"

Patton laughed and grinned at him, just happy he had gotten through yesterday.

First, they made breakfast. Jan made waffles with crofters jelly and eggs, and they all sat around the table reminiscing about the past. They talked about when logan first got his glasses, when he had a stutter, and everything else that Patton could remember. Which was everything, since Patton kept every memory stored in his room.

Next, they had gifts. Roman gave him a lab in the imagination; with chemistry sets, a telescope, and books upon books upon books. It was his own little area in Roman's realm so Logan could enjoy himself every now and then. Virgil gave him a dictionary of every word in the world, in every language. Janus gave him a replica of the Library of Alexandria, with all of the scrolls and books still there. "The original one was burned down with all of it's knowledge," he said, "So here is-" "OH MY GOD I LOVE IT THANK YOU!" Remus gave Logan an animal to dissect. But it wasn't a real animal, it was something Remus had made to give Logan something to do.

Patton promised Logan that his gift would come after dinner. He felt as though his cake paled in comparison to all of the gifts his friends had given. I mean, the Library of Alexandria? Patton sunk lower in his chair.

After gifts, they had lunch in a beautiful field that Roman had created, where the flies ate grass instead of your food, and every bird was adorned with beautiful shimmering colors and tail feathers. They had PB&J sandwiches (with crofters, of course), Goldfish, and apples. They talked for hours about nothing in particular, every now and then asking Roman about the creatures that walked by.

Logan was having a great time, but something seemed off. He looked around at the group and his eyes settled on Patton. The more he looked at him, the more tired he seemed. Logan noticed shadows under Patton's eyes for the first time, and saw that his smile was beginning to look more and more forced. Logan began to worry that one of them had done something wrong. The usual bundle of joy and energy that was Patton looked a lot more docile and tired than before.

Once it started to get dark (because Roman had set a day-night cycle in the imagination just so they would know when to go) they went back to the commons for dinner. Janus cooked some brown sugared ham with peas and rice, while Patton left to get the cake ready.

As Patton walked into the kitchen, he took a look at the cake on the pedestal. Dark fondant with baby blue frosting in swirls, and a little fondant necktie decoration on the second tear to tease about Logan's necktie. The name "Logan" was scribbled in white frosting on top.

He remembered the tall pillars in the Library of Alexandria Jan had made, he remembered the sparkling equipment Roman had conjured. He remembered the giant dictionary, the animal-

Patton looked at the cake and sighed. He honestly didn't know what he was thinking. But this was what he had done. He would just have to work with it, and maybe make up for it with a different gift later.

He picked up the large cake in his arms. It was very heavy, and there was one whole room between the kitchen and the dining room; the living area. Patton just had to bring it over.

He left the kitchen with the cake, and he was doing well with it considering he couldn't see his feet, and then he tripped.

...and then he tripped.

His foot caught against something on the ground and he stumbled, causing the cake to drop out of his arms and onto the floor. It fell sideways, and broke upon impact, and the cake broke up on the floor. Bits and pieces everywhere. Patton had fallen, and he had scraped his elbow, but he didn't care. He didn't care anymore.

He had spent a whole god-forsaken day trying to get this right. He remembered Roman's singing, Virgil's shaky hands, Remus's eating habits, Janus' scales, and he could feel himself sinking into the ground. He just wanted this to be perfect. Logan deserved something perfect.

The cake was broken, and the world was quiet, and Patton wondered for a moment if he had gone deaf. The Mindscape was silent. He felt the tears on his cheeks, but he didn't cry. Patton was the joyful and happy side, so he didn't cry. Water fell from his eyes in waterfalls and rivers across his skin, but he wasn't crying, that's not how he worked. Even when sobs racked his body and made his chest hurt. He wasn't crying.

It was just a god forsaken cake, why the heck was he crying? It was just a cake. It was just a cake.

Shoot, this isn't ABOUT THE CAKE.

Logan and all the other sides sat in the dining room, talking happily about whatever came to mind. Patton had left to get the cake, but he hadn't come back yet. Logan had eaten his dinner and was now staring at the door. He tried to focus on the conversation, but he thought Patton seemed a little late.

"Hey, Nerd, whatcha' looking at?" Roman asked, walking up behind his chair, bending down, and following Logan's line of sight.

Logan didn't turn his gaze from the door. "I feel like Pat should have been back by now. Actually, Roman, maybe you could check on him?"

Behind Logan's back, Roman and Virgil exchanged a glance, and Roman understood immediately.

"Actually, Lo, maybe you should go check on him? It is your cake after all."

Logan stood up from his chair and walked out of the dining room. "I suppose so."

Virgil snickered. "Oh my god, he is so oblivious. I ship them so badly..."

Logan walked out of the dining room and almost choked.

Patton was on the floor, with his hands in his face. Was he crying? Patton didn't cry. He was too happy to cry. He was too fricking perfect to cry. WHO THE HECK MADE PAT CRY?

Then logan saw the floor. The cake, he realized, was broken up and smashed to bits on the ground. The fondant was ripped apart, save for a small black fondant necktie. Patton must have dropped the cake. It looked like it had been big.

Logan didn't hesitate for a second. He kneeled down beside Patton, wrapping his arms around him and quietly letting him sob.

Patton felt someone's arms around him, and they had glasses, he knew, because the glasses were pressed against his temple. But that meant it was Logan. Logan was here, and he can see the cake, and he is probably so mad. Patton wrapped his arms around Logan and cried into his shoulder. He didn't like Logan to be angry. Hugs fixed that. Right?

"Pat? Patton, don't cry, what's wrong?"

Patton could barely find the breath to speak.

"I-I dropped it. The thing... I-I mess-Messed up... It's all g-gone..."

"Shhhh. Shhh, it's not your fault, don't worry. Patton, I love the cake. It's looks like it was beautiful, thank you."

Patton just kept sobbing, his glasses getting foggy. Logan knew the side was emotional, but really, it was just a cake, and Logan wasn't even mad at Patton. In fact, Logan didn't think he was capable of being mad at Patton.

Patton was sad about the cake. Of course, it was horribly destroyed, and he had spent a long, tiresome day making it perfect. And now it was all gone, and Patton had no gift to give.

To Pat, this was bigger than that though. Logan was supposed to have the perfect birthday, but Patton had messed all of that up. He had nothing to give logan. Every day of his life, his goal was to give something, to be helpful, and to care for others. He had messed up today.

"I-i don't know wh-what to do. I just... I just wanted-d to g-give you something. I-It's a-all gone n-now. Th-the d-day is ruined."

Logan frowned. What would someone with a better sense of emotions say? Seeing Patton like this made him so sad, what could he do?

He remembered something Pat had said to him a long time ago, when he was getting used to emotions. 'When someone is feeling down, speak from the heart! The best thing you can do is tell them the truth, and if they don't like it, then they have a right to feel a little sad. But you should still try!'

"Pat, I know you are sad. I understand that you wanted to make this a good day, but it WAS a good day. I enjoyed every moment of today. Sure, the cake is messed up, but it's the thought that counts, and you are already the best gift I could ask for."

Patton looked up in confusion. "Me?"

Logan was usually really bad at emotions, but right now, emotions seemed to be all he could muster. "You are so caring and joyful. And sweet. And kind. And I don't care about the cake, or any gift you give me, the fact that you are so set on making me feel cared for is enough. I'm just happy you're here, ok?"

Logan brushed a tear from Patton's eye and smiled. "I'm just happy you're here."

#sanders sides #logicality #ts logicality #logans sanders #patton sanders #tss #ts patton #ts logan #logan x patton #patton x logan #tw crying #tw baking #tw breakdown

27 notes · View notes

oldpotatoe · 4 years ago

Note

okay not to be weird in your inbox, but every great zukka fic is secretly a gen fic on some other level, like a certain non romantic relationship really really shines in it, blue by @hollypunkers is a zuko & iroh fic, do you take this jerk to be is sokka & yue, and i was being emo on a second read of ch.18 and i think yours is a sokka & katara fic, because after the pain of everything that happened im holding onto the fact that katara's not gonna give up on him, just, katara

1) sonny do you know how much it wrecks me that you’re comparing flwogb to blue, the quintessential zukka fic, and (dyttjtb)yoao -- wow that was... hard to find the alphabets for in the dark-- the other quintessential zukka fic??? thank u for wrecking me gently ily

2) what pulls me to katara and sokka’s relationship so strongly is that its just so well done and reflective of good, organic sibling relationships that you only seldom see in media, and

3) having grown up on a steady diet of s*p*rn*t*r*l (I maintain s1-5 were good okay leave me alone) and other shows of the sort with decent sibling dynamics, coupled with the fact that I am the oldest appi, heaped with a healthy dose of relating-to-sokka-as-the-older-bi-adhd-sibling, means that. well. here we are

4) god i love katara and sokka’s relationship so much. it is not explored enough in fics as much as my heart desires-- and if I can’t find the content I am looking for then I shall create it myself

#listen sometimes u just wanna write about the cain instinct that morphs into tender loving familial care within the span of 5 paragraphs #is that too much to ask for #im SO pumped you like the way i write them their relationship is so special to me and i love writing them #flwogb #flwogb asks #asks #also if anyone has any good sokka katara fics PLEASE recc them to me i beg

44 notes · View notes

f33itan · 4 years ago

Note

5, 16, 22, 28, 58, 59 lmaooo is it too many? :3

Oh no, it isn’t many at all!! Glad you requested pastel :] If anything I’m just warning you that this might be long

5: is there anyone who can always make you smile?

Unless I’m in a super SUPER utterly terrible mood, it would be my Mother. Yes I love my Dad to bits as well, but my mom and I have that extra special mother-daughter connection yk? Usually when I’m upset or weary about something my mom can take one good look at me and read me like a book.

Nat: Literally doing NOTHING

Mum: Nati.

Nat: Yes?

Mum: What’s wrong?

Nat: Nothing, why?

-Silence and avoiding eye contact-

Nat: Okay so maybe there might be a teeny tiinnyy thing-

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

I can’t even TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES THIS HAS HAPPENED OMG BAHAHAH but for now I’ll just give a recent time. Okay so me, my cousin and a daughter of one of my dad’s friends (she’s my age dw we good) were in my room chilling on this massive beanbag going from ranting about daddy levi to getting in our feels, and it got to the point that around 3 am my cousin left to the living room to play beat saber ad I was left with the girl. Not too long before this i was in my feels about how ive been rejected on valentine’s day, called ugly by my crush (which hurted, do not attempt) and called clingy for comforting a friend etc and me and the girl plopped on the bean bag in a position that, uh, how do i say this... hmm. . . ILL JUST DRAW AND ADD A PHOTO SO IT MAKES SENSE LMAO

((PLEASE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS I DREW IT ON MY LAPTOP WITH MY FINGERS AND CLICK PAD THINGY IM SO SORRY IT SUCKS, AND SHES PAN SAME AS ME SO I WAS IN PANICC at the disco also different fonts so you can tell all of the different thoughts apart))

But anyways yeah we were in that position, and my thoughts were...

-Pan panic- -holy shit im in contact with a person like this thats not my family- -should i turn to cuddle her? no she might think its weird- -wtf nat you literally just met her earlier today- -i know but shes super nice and we relate on a lot of thingsss- -NO- -What would feitan say to this?- -Know your limits brain.-

22. description of crush.

R we talking 2D or 3D because uh... lets just do both!

3D: literally every alt, goth, emo peep on tiktok, they all look so pretty and for what??

2D: A man way older than me.. Hair up to about his lower neck.. On the short side.. Beautiful shiny purple eyes... Hair that I thought was black but when sampling the color from official art from hxh creators and shit found out its a really dark green.. Murderous, Sadist, and most likely Masochist tendencies.. Hot well toned body.. Chinese.. *Insert Ayesha Erotica’s Emo Boy song*

28. i’ll love you if…

you buy me dark chocolate

If you are able to deal with my constant switch of “I wanna be clingy, cuddly, affectionate and sweet” to “Lets scream lyrics to a song, eat random food and not come in contact with each other unless its play fighting” and a bonus, “Leave me the fuck alone and let me play my video games by myself”

If you tolerate my attitude, and the fact that all I can really cook without getting scared for the most part is scrambles eggs, toast and bagels, re heating a meal (does that even count), and brownies.

Accepting me for who I am, and not just the silly playful cover I share with most people, you can be a shoulder to cry on for me as in almost all situations I’m the shoulder for others, being able to comfort each other and talk about weird and embarrassing things we’ve done in the passed and not get a nasty looked or shamed for it, keeping me from buying really pointless things, dealing with the fact that Im a massive chicken when it comes to roller coasters, yet put me on literally ANY OTHER DANGEROUS THING and I’ll be as happy as a child in a candy store. Swimming with sharks? Fuck yeah! Ziplining over alligators? YES! (Ive done that actually when I was 7 or 8) Go swimming through dark and light ruins of underground passage ways in Cancun? YESSIR!! (Which Ive done as well) Roller coasters? Get the hell away from me.

And simply deal with me, myself. and I

58. description of my best friend

I have multiple so I picked one teehee

Tall, skinny as a stick, for whatever reason can carry me with simply two arms extended out, light brown hair that she always wears in a ponytail (but wore it down for me on my birthday), started out introverted but with me hugging her at school everyday became a big time ambivert, usually the one who keeps me from 1. lashing out at classmates and 2. getting into trouble most of the time, can joke around a lot but speaks rather quietly so sometimes she has to repeat herself for my deaf ass lmao, if there’s inclement weather at school, during our break in class either she or I make a bee line for each other’s desk and start cackling immediately afterwards, random times in class one of us will throw a cringy smirk at the other and it becomes this stupid war of who get the last smirk in, whenever were walking around campus one of us will be holding onto the other’s sleeve loosely, (most of the time its me, but she’s done it too), We have had this thing for years now that when she has her hands on her hips I tried to stick my head through that opening, and for years on end I couldn’t do it, and when I did it was the best day ever

59. why i joined tumblr

Simple reason really, Feitan. Whenever I looked up “feitan fluff” before I went to bed to end the day nicely, it would always bring me to some tumblr page, so I decided to make an account and, well, here we are. ⛹️‍♀️

#F33itan's ask game

23 notes · View notes

snowe-zolynn-rogers · 4 years ago

Text

The BNHA Group Chat Fic Nobody Asked For

Pairings: Todoroki Touya (Dabi)/Mr/ Compress (Sako Atsuhiro), Shimura Tenko (Shigaraki Tomura)/Chisaki Kai (Overhaul)/Kurono Hari (Chrono), Yamada Hizashi (Present Mic)/Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead)/Shirakumo Oboro (Loud Cloud), Fukukado Emi (Ms. Joke)/Kayama Nemuri (Midnight)

Word Count: 1,088 Words

Summary: Todo-siblings, teacher shenanigans, the 1-A twins accidentally freeze out the fifth floor, and Kirishima is best boy.

Warnings: Cursing, Sleep Deprivation, Insomnia, Abuse Mention, Mensuration/Period Mentions, Caps, Food Mention, Half Blind Character, Deaf Characters, Anxiety Mention, Mostly Mute Character (due to a different medical issue), Selectively Mute Character, let me know if I should add anything else.

Note: Natsuo and Fuyumi's chat names are based on quirk headcanons I have for them. Natsuo's is because I headcanon him to have a quirk where he can manipulate and generate water like Shoto can with his ice and Fuyumi's because I headcanon her to have a thermal manipulation quirk. Touya's is 'wine' because white and red wine and his hair is red and white.

Usernames: We Are Number One™ Aizawa: Dadzawa, Aoyama: immafiringmahlaser, Ashido: princessbubblegumknockoff, Asui: Galvan, Iida: Emergency Exit, Uraraka: 9.8, Ojiro: tailfloof, Kaminari: Pichu, Kirishima: baby shark, Koda: youredoingamazingsweetie, Sato: GuyFieriIsGod, Shoji: Cthulhu, Jirou: Jack Skellington, Sero: Spider-Man, Tokoyami: EdgarAllanCrows, Todoroki: WHERE?, Hagakure: cena, Bakugo: WHAT?, Midoriya: SmolMight, Mineta: Mineta, Shinsou: exhausted, Yaoyorozu: TheGreatCreator, Kurono: stopwatch, Chisaki: donthugmeimscared, Yukimura: choticgaydisaster, Bubaigawara: shadowclonejutsu, Shimura: idontfeelsogood, Awase: illrememberyouallintherapy, Kaibara: IDOWHATIWANT, Kamakiri: scyther, Kuroiro: itsmeyaboy, Kendo: Akimichi, Kodai: deadinside, Komori: shroomgurl, Shiozaki: wElCoMeToBiBlEsTuDiEs, Shishida: furry, Shoda: cryptid, Tsunotori: mylittlepony, Tsubaraba: airbender, Tetsutetsu: Iron Man, Tokage: t-rex costume, Fukidashi: glorifiedtextbubble, Honenuki: Eren Jaeger/spookyscaryskeletons, Bondo: Slimer, Monoma: HopeSummers, Yanagi: iLiEdImDyInGiNsIdE, Rin: snek, Toga: mystique, Sako: lostmymarbles, Hikiishi: queenofmagnetism, Iguchi: eye gucci, Shinokanri: stardust

Usernames: Emos Anonymous Kaminari: blackcloakedbrides, Shoji: fryingpan, Jirou: greentwentyfourhours, Tokoyami: myscientificinfatuation, Todoroki: twentyoneplotpoints, Bakugo: immobileinwhite, Midoriya: falldownboy, Shinsou: stabtheveil, Kurono: inhalecarolina, Chisaki: plummetingininverse, Yukimura: anxietyintheclub, Shimura: nappingwithsirens, Kuroiro: thousandfootcane, Kodai: marianaspit, Monoma: entiretimelow, Yanagi: recentyearsday, Sako: halfminutetomars, Aizawa: hollywoodlivingdead, Shouji: fryingpan, Kurono: inhalecarolina, Aoyama: phantomtown, Honenuki: visualizedragon, Sako: halfminutetomars, Awase: distressparade, Shinokanri: simplestrategy

Usernames: UA Teachers Are Tired™ Eraserhead/Aizawa: grumpy scarf cat, Present Mic/Yamada: screeching cockatiel, Midnight/Nemuri: chaotic goth gay Ingenium/Iida: gotta go fast, AllMight/Toshinori: actual sunshine, Vlad King/Kan: bloody hell, Power Loader/Majima: speechtotext, Ectoplasm: needalegup?, Snipe: kazoo cowboy, Cementoss: concrete block, Blackmist/Kurogiri: goth portals

We Love A Good, Caring Dadzawa In This House-Chapter 3

11:38 PM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

chaotic goth gay: so anygay we ever gonna talk bout the fact that the twins in 1a plan to take a week home?

kazoo cowboy: no??? it's their personal life????

needalegup?: I say we leave the boys alone.

screeching cockatiel: they don't like being referred to at 'the twins' Nemuri. They're separate beings.

chaotic goth gay: okay, the two canadian flags of Shouta's 25 nearly adopted children.

grumpy scarf cat: you're right but why say it?

bloody hell: I thought his class was 26 students now like mine? who tf you forgetting Nemuri?

chaotic goth gay: no one I be leaving out that little grapist tho. hate him and so does Shouta

screeching cockatiel: OwO oh worm?

grumpy scarf cat: never again Hizashi. never again.

screeching cockatiel: OvO

grumpy scarf cat: i hate you.

screeching cockatiel: love you too babe uwu

grumpy scarf cat: well,

grumpy scarf cat: i'm gonna go yeet myself off the roof for that one.

screeching cockatiel: Nuuuuuuu, how will me Hitoshi and Ayane ever survive without you!?

grumpy scarf cat: tru tru

grumpy scarf cat: I'll take Hitoshi with me.

screeching cockatiel: you wouldn't dare!

grumpy scarf cat: again tru tru

2:24 AM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

grumpy scarf cat: yeet yeet bitch he finally asleep [pic of Hitoshi asleep against Aizawa's side with Ayane asleep between them]

chaotic goth gay: that's perfect.

chaotic goth gay has changed their name to yeet yeet bitch

yeet yeet bitch: thank boi me sleep now

yeet yeet bitch is offline

4:14 AM

We Are Number One™

WHERE?: so anyway I'm ready to yeet our dad into the sun but that's too good for him

chaoticdisastergay: oh worm???? same hat??? could stand to snow his eyes out first tho

immafirinmahlaser: why y'all puttin ur father on blast in the main chat?

WHERE?: wait, where? oh fuck wrong one Touya, wrong one! mayday mayday

SmolMight: I was summoned my the word mayday what happened

SmolMight: oh

SmolMight: well then

lostmymarbles: Dear? Please lay down? I was comfortable?

chaoticdisastergay: well, speaking of tmi, I thought it was just a bathroom run but turns out my monthly came a week early, Atsu. I'm coming back.

WHERE?: that was a long time in the bathroom but okay.

lostmymarbles: Yeah, almost an hour. I'm lonely, the bed feels cold without you, snowdrop!

chaoticdisastergay: I had to shower over in the 1a dorms too, calm down.

lostmymarbles: Kay, come back to bed, I wanna cuddle.

SmolMight: Such precious. Most pure. We have been blessed with witnessing this couple be cute.

WHERE?: so anNYway, Touya, you goin back to the family chat?

chaoticgaydisaster: yee

4:30 AM

Trauma? Yeet. Memes? Yoink.

vulpix: anygay. still wanna yeet our dad into the sun but it'd still be too good for him.

lapis: I??? feel that????? wtf???????

thermostat: oh? a mood? in this good household?

wine: i really just want to go back to sleep but the brain machine broke i'm woke

vulpix: oh worm?

thermostat: anyway gotta actually get outta bed soon, drop off your girls at daycare, get mine to school, and go to work.

lapis: fine, gonna go with ya

thermostat: mhmmmm sure you are, you're gonna fall asleep in 20 minutes Natsuo.

lapis: that may be but i'll at least try

thermostat: doubt

thermostat is offline

8:24 AM

We Are Number One™

cena: so anyway tea apparently shoto and touya are going home all next week

princessbubblegumknockoff: oh? drama?

WHERE?: family visit no drama

chaoticgaydisaster: just visiting our family

SmolMight: so anygay Aizawa told us we have someone special visiting a1 today for class!

Spider-Man: I wonder who it is!

Dadzawa: toshi cmon I gotta get to class and drop you off like a gay goth god of insomniac children

exhausted: hol up im eating still

exhausted is offline

Dadzawa is offline

cena: well, no answers from them i guess

Emergency Exit: Everyone, please get off your phones in class!

9:37 AM

We Are Number One™

itsmeyaboy: so who was it that came to your class?

TheGreatCreator: The Big Three of UA

itsmeyaboy: huh. we had Hawks, Ryukyu, and Mirko

Iron Man: The Three Greats of UA

HopeSummers: We win.

SmolMight: Meh, we both got good people to teach us.

HopeSummers: Valid, carry on.

2:28 PM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

gotta go fast: so anyway, am i ever gonna get told why there's someone named speechtotext in this chatroom and who all they are?

kazoo cowboy: That's Majima with the support course.

needalegup?: he couldn't figure out how to work his phone with his fingers when we first made this chat and he used speech to text a lot.

goth portals: we used to get a lot of text messages where Hatsume had spoken over him and it became too much of a meme so Nemuri changed his name to speechtotext.

gotta go fast: understandable, have a nice day.

7:24 AM

We Are Number One™

Spider-Man: um guys all of floor five is frozen what happened?

Galvan: the girls' side isn't but it's getting cold over here

GuyFieriIsGod: My door is frozen shut.

Spider-Man: Todoroki or Yukimura must have had a nightmare again

TheGreatCreator: Does this happen often?

Spider-Man: more than you'd believe.

GuyFieriIsGod: Does anyone have an ice pick?

Galvan: i'm going downstairs before it spreads

TheGreatCreator: That's a good idea, Tsu, we don't want you getting too cold and hibernating.

WHAT?: wow

Spider-Man: wow? just wow? dude, help us!

WHAT?: ...

WHAT?: perish.

baby shark: I'm coming!

7:45 AM

We Are Number One™

Spider-Man: KIRISHIMA IS A GODSEND

GuyFieriIsGod: He got us out.

TheGreatCreator: It was easier because Todoroki likely melted it.

GuyFieriIsGod: Anyway, now that we're free, I'm making breakfast if anyone wants any. 1b and Shinsou included

WHAT?: wow

cena: Is Bakugo okay?

SmolMight: Yeah, that's just his morning brain. That happens if he gets less than an hour of sleep. He kinda short circuits for about an hour.

Pichu: excellent. thank you for this knowledge.

princessbubblegumknockoff: sometimes I question if your have a death wish.

Pichu: a death wish to get him to hug me and tell me i'm cute dammit!

Pichu is offline

baby shark: a very pure death wish. we don't deserve you denki!

WHERE?: It's been made apparent to me that I froze the fifth floor and I'm sorry.

chaoticgaydisaster: and I made enough snow it was practically snowmen

princessbubblegumknockoff: THEY RISE!

WHERE?: too early for this i need a pot of coffee

chaoticgaydisaster: mood but also gimme half dammit

Taglist: @logan-sanders-enthusiast @luckyicekitsune @whippedbel @lgbtforeverything @pinecone-chomper @mikmacmoo @wasinotwantedatthisexactsecond @purplespiderstormcloud @stankyratman @king-of-the-oranges @headcannons-and-random-things @fear-ze-queer @turtleluv799 @ymmm-someone

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha #mha #snoweywrites #the bnha group chat fic nobody asked for #league of misfit heroes au #tw cursing #tw sleep deprivation #tw insomnia mention #tw abuse mention #tw menstruation mention #tw period mention #tw caps

18 notes · View notes

clumsyclifford · 4 years ago

Text

kiss in the kitchen like it’s a dance floor

Calum hums. "I could stay with you."

Again Michael's heart gives a lurch. "Really?"

"Yeah, why not?"

HELLO!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY @jbhmalum this is for you i got cute in the ao3 notes and im worried about repeating myself but anyway i really just love and treasure you je t’adore i really wish i could compliment you better in french but i simply do not have the words so suffice it to say that i am so so happy to know you i love reading your fics you are so unbelievably talented not to mention just mad cute and just overall an absolute delight i hope your birthday is super amazing and yeah i love you lots

so here’s a really fluffy domestic malum quarantine getting together fic per the birthday girl’s request i know you’re all thinking fluff???? from bella??? but joke’s on you because i wrote this several weeks ago don’t worry i am still emo inside

title from sunflower vol. 6 by harry styles <3 king shit

read it here on ao3

At risk of sounding overdramatic, Michael is going to die unless he sees Calum in the next week. Possibly less. He's experiencing severe Calum withdrawal, and it shows. Sleeping alone sucks more than Michael can put into words. There's no warm, steady weight against his back anymore, just the flimsy brush of his own duvet. He tucks it as tightly around himself as possible, but it's just not the same as Calum's embrace.

"I miss you," he whines over FaceTime one evening.

"You better," Calum replies. Then, immediately, "Sorry, I mean, I miss you too, obviously."

"You're on thin ice here," Michael grumbles.

"You already know I miss you," Calum tells him.

"I hate being in quarantine. This sucks so bad, Cal."

Calum nods, sighs. "You know…I've been in, like, proper quarantine for two weeks. More than that. Haven't seen anyone or done anything."

Michael makes a face. "Really? No one? Nothing?"

"Yeah, but I mean." Calum tilts his head on the screen. "I could probably come to yours."

For a moment Michael's heart leaps into his throat, and then, just as quickly, it plummets. "You can't," he says. "The travel, and plus then you'd be going back, and I'm pretty sure I've been in some suspicious places recently. I mean I'm being careful, but you know. I don't want you to get it or bring it back with you."

Calum hums. "I could stay with you."

Again Michael's heart gives a lurch. "Really?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"That'd be so amazing," Michael breathes. "Beyond awesome. Oh my God. Can — would you? Seriously?"

"Are you kidding me?" Calum gives Michael a look, like, do you even know me? "Michael. Like, I don't want to overstate things here, but I miss you more than I think I've ever missed anyone, excepting possibly Duke."

"Not as much as I miss you," Michael returns. "I've never missed anyone more. At all. Dogs included." Instantly that feels wrong. "Okay. That's a lie. But —"

"Ha!" Calum crows. "I miss you more. Get destroyed, Cliffo."

"You know what," Michael says petulantly, "maybe you shouldn't come visit."

"Funny," Calum says. "I'll sort my shit out here and then I can probably leave in a few days, is that alright?"

It's more than alright. It's actually the most brilliant thing Michael's ever heard. The prospect of seeing Calum lifts his mood way up into the stratosphere, and he grins, bubbly.

"Yeah, yeah, perfect," he says. "Can't wait."

The look on Calum's face says he can't wait, either.

It's been too many weeks to count since Michael's been hugged, but the moment Calum is in his arms, the time melts away. "Oh my God, I missed you so fucking much," he murmurs into Calum's shoulder. Calum chuckles.

"Yeah," he says, all fond. "Missed you too, Mikey."

"Let's never stop hugging," Michael suggests. "Ever."

Calum pats his back. "I think life would get pretty difficult pretty quickly."

"I don't really see how."

"The bathroom, for starters."

"We'd figure it out. I've seen you naked."

"That's not. Really." Calum laughs. "Fuck. I really missed you. Come on. Invite me in."

"No," Michael says, as Calum pulls reluctantly out of his hold. Calum frowns. "You might have corona."

"Oh, fuck off."

Laughing loudly, Michael leads Calum in. Immediately, Southy and Moose are at his heels, yapping excitedly. Calum kneels, grinning. "Hey, guys! Miss me much?"

"They can just smell Duke on you," Michael says in mock-contempt. It's generally accepted that Moose and Southy favor Calum over, well, basically anyone, but Michael refuses to cave. They're his fucking dogs.

"Oh, fuck," Calum remembers, straightening up, to Moose's displeasure. "Duke."

"Go get him," Michael says. "I'll put your shit in your room."

Calum smiles at Michael, the big, bright one, eyes crinkling in the corners so they almost disappear. Michael thinks if he had to pick one thing to wax poetic about forever, it would be this smile, and how it makes him feel gooey and melty inside whenever Calum turns it on him.

"What?" Michael finally demands, when Calum doesn't say anything.

Calum shakes his head. "Does it have to be something, man? I'm just fuckin' happy."

Michael breathes out, feeling lighter than he has in ages. "Me too."

And with that, Calum turns and goes to get Duke from the car. Michael carries Calum's stuff to Calum's room, which is actually a guest room that's been broken in by Calum enough times that they started calling it his. Not that he stays there that often. Borne of habit from both childhood and hotel rooms, Michael and Calum always elect to share the bed. This, among millions of things, has made Michael's life hard in quarantine. Sleeping alone sucks.

Michael gives the room a once-over as he deposits Calum's bags down. It has minimal decorations but the few that are here are very much Calum. A photograph of the sunset off the beach near their childhood homes hangs above the dresser, and there's a comically large poster of Alex Gaskarth above the bed, which, Michael is somewhat sure, had been the result of a lost bet.

Arms wrap around his middle. "Hey."

"You get Duke set up?" Michael asks, resting his hands against Calum's and tilting his head back.

"On a trial basis, yeah. He's gotten really territorial about his food, though, so if either of your kids tries anything…"

"My kids?"

"Your dogs," Calum says dismissively. "I'm just saying, Duke could kick their asses."

"Um, excuse me?" Michael twists around, prying himself out of Calum's grip. "First of all, it would be two on one, and there's no way your weak-ass mutt could —"

"Weak-ass mutt?"

" — also, Southy can and will scratch, and I know for a fact Moose has never read the Geneva Convention."

"Yeah, but they like me more," Calum says cheekily. Michael makes an offended face, and Calum swoops in and kisses his cheek.

"Hey, don't try that shit. They do not like you more."

“Okay,” Calum says, in a very unconvincing voice. “So. What’s for dinner?”

“Nothing for you if you keep this up,” Michael grumbles, scowling.

Calum chuckles. “I can look through your pantry and make something?”

“I just said I’m not feeding you.”

“Right, that’s why I’m going to be feeding you. ”

Michael huffs. “Don’t cook, we can order something.”

“No, I’m gonna cook. I’ve missed cooking for you.”

“Really? For me? ”

“Yes,” Calum says, looking strangely at Michael. “For you. I’ve missed spending time with you. Doing things for you. Why do you think I sent you the care package?”

“Because you love me?”

“Yeah,” Calum says, which is a little unfair, because Michael had been teasing and had expected Calum to tease in return. But Calum just looks matter-of-fact. “Exactly. So let me cook for you.”

Michael squirms, torn between the desire to make another joke or to let Calum’s love settle over his shoulders like a second skin. “Okay,” he concedes. “I’ll be supervising so I know you won’t poison me, though.”

Calum’s eyes crinkle with his smile. “Oh, no. Hanging out with me in the kitchen while I cook? I can’t think of anything worse.”

“Stop being so fucking sappy,” Michael whines. “You’re making me feel bad for being bitchy.”

“No, by all means,” Calum says airily. “Keep mocking me, your best friend, while I remind you over and over again how much I’ve missed you. I don’t mind at all.”

“You’re a shit,” Michael says, swatting at Calum’s shoulder. “Go make me dinner, peasant.”

“Bossy.”

“You asked to make dinner!”

Calum laughs, and turns to go start dinner. Michael trails after, because whatever he says, however he mocks Calum, he’s missed him far too much to let him out of Michael’s sight for too long.

(And also, Michael likes to try and distract Calum while he cooks. It’s in his top five favorite sports.)

Having Calum here feels so natural it makes Michael wonder if they’d ever actually spent any time apart or if it had been a hallucination. They fall back into routine so easily, routine established from every part of their lives spent together; traditions created back in school, behaviors formed and reinforced through years of sharing hotel rooms, habits only known to the other. Calum slots back into the Calum-shaped gap he’d left when quarantine started, and it’s as if he’d never been gone.

Michael likes the bubble they’re existing in now, where they speak to no one but each other, go nowhere but the store to replenish depleted groceries, and pretend that time isn’t passing in the outside world. They make a dent in their long list of movies to watch together, and occasionally make fun of. Calum runs in the morning while Michael sleeps, and every morning wakes him for breakfast while Michael bitches. They walk their dogs together.

(Michael gapes when Calum lets Duke off his leash.

“Since fucking when?” he accuses.

“He’s a grown dog,” Calum says sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “Michael, he’s like a foot long with attachment issues. He won’t go anywhere.”

Michael stares reproachfully at Moose and South. They stare innocently back. Calum chuckles and pats Michael on the back. “You can let ‘em off as long as I’m here. You know they won’t run away from me.”

“Fuck you,” Michael retorts, looping the leash once more around his wrist. Dream on, he thinks, eyeing his dogs.)

And it’s easy, for a week or two, to think that this is just how people are, or if not, that this is just how they are, how Michael and Calum exist in the world. They’ve been best friends since forever, and there’s no one else in Michael’s life who fills the shoes that Calum does — and why should there be, when he has Calum? It’s not like Michael’s ever needed anyone else, or anything else. Homeless or starving or broke or on a deserted island or stranded in outer space or drowning in an ocean or on death row, Michael’s only wish would be Calum.

Of course it would, though. Calum is everything. Michael’s known that for ages.

They don’t even start under the pretense that Calum will be staying in “his” room; from his very first night at Michael’s he doesn’t even open that door, just follows after Michael when Michael declares he’s going to retire for the night and slips under the blanket with him, wordlessly, a silent agreement that there’s no reason to torture themselves sleeping alone when they don’t need to. This quarantine has given them both a new perspective on solitude; namely, avoid at all costs. So Michael snuggles up to Calum, content even to be the little spoon if it means Calum’s the one whose front is all lined up with Michael’s back, whose arm is slung tightly over Michael’s middle, an unspoken promise that Michael’s not getting away from Calum if Calum has any say. It’s comforting to be held, but not necessary; Michael wouldn’t leave Calum’s arms if the house were on fire.

(Okay, maybe if the house were on fire. But he’d definitely wake Calum for that.)

They do the bare minimum promoting CALM — mostly Michael likes leaving that stuff to Luke anyway, who, as lead singer, gets the bulk of the attention for it. Sometimes Michael decides to be resentful about that, but now it’s nice to know that the world doesn’t expect much from him, from either of them. They FaceTime with Luke and Ashton, who express openly and loudly how envious they are of Calum and Michael spending time together. The world spins on, with Michael purposefully ignoring it. Life is wonderful.

“Right, what’s next on the list?” Calum asks, handing Michael a glass of water and collapsing onto the couch. He kicks his legs up and stretches them across Michael’s lap. Michael gives him a look, and Calum just gives Michael a cheeky grin as he takes a sip of his own water.

“The Umbrella Academy, ” Michael says.

“Isn’t that a show?”

“Yeah, well, it’s next on the list.”

Calum frowns. “Why haven’t we got a separate list for TV shows?”

Michael rolls his eyes. “Because we’re idiots? Or because we probably never anticipated having this much time to actually get through the list. Do you want to watch it or not?”

“Oh, definitely,” Calum says. “Isn’t that, fuckin’…Mikey Way’s, or something? One of the MCR guys?”

“Gerard. Yeah.”

“Dope,” Calum says. Michael reaches for the remote while Calum pulls his legs off of Michael, shuffling around on the couch until his head is on Michael’s lap, legs thrown up over the armrest. Michael settles his free hand onto Calum’s crown, running his fingers along the short hair over his scalp. It’s not that he prefers Calum with more hair — generally speaking, Michael’s favorite version of Calum is always whichever one exists at the moment — but he does miss having more hair to play with. He suspects Calum misses that, too. Calum always liked Michael playing with his hair.

“You might have trouble drinking if you’re laying down like this,” Michael observes wryly, although he hopes Calum doesn’t sit up. It may be stupidly domestic, to be like this with Calum, but that’s always been them, and Michael likes it that way. Prefers it. Friends are stupidly domestic sometimes. Aren’t they?

“Whatever,” Calum says, setting his glass blindly onto the floor in front of the couch. “Don’t, like, kick to the right, and we’ll be fine.”

Michael shakes his head fondly and hits play on the first episode of the show. It’s a good show, and for the first episode he and Calum are both equally taken by it. When it ends, Duke shuffles into the room in search of company, and Calum pats the couch to invite him up. “My son,” he whispers as Duke precariously attempts to climb the couch. “Come here, my son. I can lift you up. I can show you what you want to see and take you where you want to be.”

“Are you,” Michael says, briefly distracted from starting the next episode. “Are you singing Capital Cities to Duke?”

“Shut up,” Calum says, making grabby hands towards Duke until Duke gets the message and comes close enough for Calum to grab. “You’re just jealous ‘cause neither of your dogs want to hang out with you.”

“Because they’re normal dogs who sleep at this hour.” Duke settles himself onto Calum’s chest, collapsing with an adorable whoomph, nose brushing up against Calum’s chin. It’s too cute for words, the pair of them. Michael feels his heart clench inexplicably, and looks away.

“Jealous,” Calum sing-songs. “Go on, start the episode, what’re you waiting for?”

“I don’t think you’ll be able to watch with Duke sitting on top of you.”

Calum makes a dismissive noise. “I’ll be fine.”

And he is fine, right up until he falls asleep about fifteen minutes in. Michael notices straightaway, and wonders when exactly he got so attuned to Calum that he can tell in an instant if he’s awake or asleep. Sure enough, glancing down, Calum is exhaling gently, steadily enough that he’s obviously dropped off. Duke is dozing on Calum’s chest. Once again, Michael’s heart does that squeezing thing that leaves Michael vaguely confused. It’s just Calum. It’s always just Calum; what’s happening now that never used to happen before?

For a moment, Michael entertains the idea of just sitting here forever. It’s a tempting option. Michael’s hand has stalled in Calum’s hair but it still rests there, fingertips grazing the nape of his neck, and Calum’s chest is rising and falling rhythmically, raising and lowering Duke with it. The scene is endearing, charming beyond explanation, the kind of thing that makes Michael wish you could frame moving pictures like they do in Harry Potter, just to watch this moment for the rest of his life. He’d put it up in his bedroom, and look at it whenever he was in need of some sense of peace.

If Calum is asleep, though, it must mean he’s tired, and they should probably go to bed if that’s the case. Michael gives himself another long moment to just watch his best friend sleep, face restful and all creases smoothed. He clicks off the TV.

“Cal,” he whispers.

There’s no response.

“Calum,” Michael repeats softly, scratching his fingernails over Calum’s scalp. “Calum, babe.”

Calum hums and his eyes open groggily. He lifts an arm to rub a hand over his face, and Duke jerks awake. “Hmm,” Calum manages, staring up into Michael’s face with a vaguely blank look. “Oh. Fuck. Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” Michael says. “Bedtime, though. I’m kind of tired anyway.”

Calum grabs Duke in his hands and then, with an almighty groan, heaves himself into a sitting position, gently lowering Duke to the ground. Duke leaves the room, possibly to go and harass Moose and South into letting him sleep with them. Michael sees a lot of Calum in Duke.

For a second Calum just sits, elbows braced against his knees, face in his hands. Michael furrows his brow. “You feeling okay?”

Calum breathes out. “Yeah, yeah. Just — more tired than usual, I guess.”

“Sleep in tomorrow,” Michael offers. “Lazy day. I love lazy days.”

“Mike, all your days are lazy days.”

“Fuck you, firstly, and secondly, none of my days are lazy days with you.” Michael pokes at Calum’s shoulder. “Which is obviously completely different, because it means we can cuddle all day, or do whatever. And get takeout! Come on, Cal, lazy day, lazy day, pajama day, lazy day —”

“Okay, okay,” Calum relents. “Yes, fine. Fine.” Michael grins and wraps Calum in a hug from the side, and Calum shakes his head, although Michael knows him well enough to know it’s fond exasperation at worst.

“Lazy day,” Michael sings lightly. Calum huffs a laugh. “Let’s go to bed.”

They go, and Michael’s heart does that squeezing-clenching thing again when Calum burrows into Michael’s chest once they’ve gotten under the duvet. He seems to be tipsy off tiredness, but it’s not anything Michael hasn’t seen before, and he doesn’t know why he’s reacting differently all of a sudden.

Must be the tiredness getting to me too, he thinks dismissively, pretending not to think about the fact that he’s no more tired than usual and he’s been tired before, without weird thoughts about Calum cramming their way into his mind. Best to sleep it off.

(Part of him doesn’t want to sleep it off, though. It’s a lovely fantasy, thinking he and Calum might be something more — not that he wants that, necessarily, but if he were going to want it, he doesn’t think it would be so bad. In the safety of his own mind, in fleeting thoughts, it’s nice to think about. Calum’s Calum, after all. It makes sense that eventually even Michael would start to think things. Just as long as he knows they’re all far-fetched things that are far too delusional to ever be anything but silly, sleepy, inexplicable ideas.)

“G’night,” Calum murmurs, sending a buzz from his words across Michael’s skin. Michael shivers, and hopes Calum doesn’t pick up on it.

“Sleep well,” Michael says quietly, lips brushing Calum’s hair. “And if you get up before ten, I’ll spread rumours about you on Twitter.”

Calum barely breathes out a giggle before he sighs and falls asleep. Michael doesn’t see the point in being awake without Calum, and without ceremony falls asleep as well, warm from Calum’s body lined up against his own.

Despite Michael’s threat, he still wakes up to an empty bed, covers thrown back where Calum must have gotten out. Of course he has. Michael starts brainstorming vaguely irritating rumour ideas to put on Twitter.

It’s eleven, though, which means that technically Calum could have woken up after ten but before Michael. Either way, Michael’s waking up alone again, and that’s annoying.

He shuffles out of bed, pulling on Calum’s Youngblood hoodie as he pads into the kitchen, where, predictably, Calum is making breakfast. Michael wraps his arms around Calum’s waist and hooks his chin over Calum’s shoulder. Calum jerks at the touch before apparently realizing who it is, and settling backwards into it.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Calum greets him, turning his head to give Michael a kiss on his temple. It strikes Michael as a strangely romantic thing to do, which isn’t a thought he needs to be having. “I promise I wasn’t up before ten.”

“Hmph,” Michael grumbles, which is morning-Michael-speak for come back to bed, but Calum either doesn’t understand or chooses to ignore it. Eyeing the griddle on the stove, he adds, “Pancakes?”

Calum nods. “See, when you wake up early, this is the kind of thing you have time for.”

“Worst lazy day partner ever,” Michael sniffs. “I want to cuddle.”

“What if we eat breakfast and then cuddle?”

“What if you come back to bed and then we eat pancakes when we wake up?”

Calum chuckles. “I don’t know how you’re tired right now. It’s eleven.”

“I don’t know how you’re not,” Michael says, horrified. “It’s eleven.”

Calum just laughs. “I love you,” he says, apropos of nothing, and Michael’s heart does a triple backflip.

“I know,” he says. “If this is a ploy to get me to forgive you for getting me out of bed at eleven in the morning, it’s not working.”

“It’s not a ploy,” Calum says. “But it is working.”

It is working. Just for saying that, though, Michael stubbornly wishes it weren’t, but it’s too late; Calum’s already softened his defenses, thawed his prickly morning mood. “Fuck you,” he mumbles. Calum makes another half-laugh noise and even though Michael’s not looking at his face, he can tell — he can almost feel — the way Calum’s eyes crinkle with his smile.

“You can grab the syrup from the fridge,” he tells Michael. Michael hugs Calum tighter and buries his face in Calum’s neck.

“No,” he says, voice muffled in Calum’s skin. “Shut up.”

“You can’t cuddle me while I’m making pancakes, Mikey.”

“Fucking watch me.”

“Mike.”

“Shh, napping,” Michael mumbles, closing his eyes. He can feel Calum’s racing heartbeat pulsing in his neck, against Michael’s cheek, and distantly wonders why it’s racing. Calum relents, thankfully, and for a moment they just stand there, in the peaceful quiet of the kitchen, Michael’s hands loosely curled into Calum’s shirt. They fit so well it’s almost criminal. “This is perfect,” he sighs, breath hot against his own face where it bounces off Calum’s skin.

Calum settles a hand on Michael’s. “What is?”

Michael hums. “This,” he says again, although he knows that’s mostly meaningless, and it could mean anything. “You. You being here. Just this.”

It’s still kind of nonsensical, but Calum seems to understand anyway. It’s what they do best, understanding each other when nobody else can, when nobody else would bother trying. “I missed you more than I think it’s normal to miss someone,” Calum says quietly. To an outsider listening in, it would sound like a change of subject, but Michael knows it isn’t. It’s perfect to me, too, Calum is saying. It wasn’t any good before. The words hover before them, almost like giving Michael the option to ignore them.

Michael had known that, of course. Michael had also missed Calum more than it’s normal to miss someone. He’d kind of just figured that was how they operated. Calum is saying it like it should be news, like it should mean something monumental, but it’s all the same to Michael. He missed Calum more than a normal person ought to, but not more than Calum deserves. It’s Calum.

“Your heartbeat’s really fast,” Michael murmurs, also a surface change of subject, trying to say so many things, like I missed you too, an insane amount, and is this new for you, too, or just for me? and have I never noticed that your heart pounds when I hug you, or has it just never before? and it’s okay with me, whatever the answer is. He’s almost afraid to pick his head up, scared that he’s going to see the look on Calum’s face and not like it, scared that it’s going to be what he wants it to be. Scared that something is going to change, but almost more afraid that nothing will.

Calum breathes a laugh. “Of course you would notice that.”

“My face is on your neck,” Michael says. “How could I not notice.”

“I meant it,” Calum says, which Michael had also known, and he knows what Calum means, too; not just that he’d meant what he said, but also what he hadn’t, the unspoken this that Michael had been talking about in the first place.

“So did I,” Michael says, meaning that he meant everything he didn’t say, and he wonders if Calum had understood it, but it’s Calum, and they’re them, so of course Calum has understood it. He picks his head up off Calum’s shoulder and Calum twists himself around in Michael’s arms, hands fluttering over Michael’s shoulders before landing. Michael is tempted to point out that he probably shouldn’t turn his back on an open flame, and he probably would if he didn’t think it would ruin the moment. They’re definitely in a moment right now, which should probably be weird, but it isn’t. This should feel weird, but it doesn’t, because it’s Calum.

Michael wonders how many exceptions he’s made in his life for Calum, and how many more he’ll make at the drop of a hat. There’s the world, and then there’s Calum, and the rules stop applying somewhere in transit.

Calum rests his forehead against Michael’s. “I thought that maybe it was just me.”

“How could it be just you?” Michael says softly. His own heartbeat is thudding in his chest. “If it’s you, then it’s me. That’s always been true.”

“This is different,” Calum says, except it’s not. “You changed your mind. Recently.”

Michael blinks. “How do you know that?”

“I just,” Calum shrugs, helplessly. “I don’t know. I could just tell. I can tell.”

“I didn’t change my mind,” Michael says, because he doesn’t know what to say to everything else Calum’s just revealed. Like that Calum must have known before Michael knew. And that Calum must have been waiting for Michael to screw his fucking head on right. And that Calum had noticed, the moment it happened. “I just realized, you idiot. You should have fucking told me.”

“This is my fault? ”

“You knew!”

“I thought it was just me,” Calum repeats.

“Well that was a stupid fucking assumption to make,” Michael tells him. “You were waiting for me to realize.”

“I wasn’t waiting, I was just…” Calum frowns. “Hoping.”

Michael rolls his eyes. “Well, I’m here now,” he says. “I’m all caught up.” They’re dancing around it, he notices, because Michael is just finding his footing and Calum is probably waiting for Michael to say psych!, and neither of them wants to say it. Once they say it, it’s a fact.

It’s a fact already, though. It’s been a part of the MichaelandCalum history since they met, and they’ve both just been idiots about it, basically.

Calum’s eyes crinkle as the ghost of a smile starts to lift at the corners of his lips, and before Michael can even begin to wax poetic about it, they’re kissing. It makes so much sense to be kissing that Michael doesn’t even think, for a moment, that it’s strange. It just feels nice, and feels right, and Calum’s mouth is warm and tastes like chocolate, inexplicably.

Calum exhales sharply when they part. “Fucking finally,” he says, breath hot on Michael’s lips.

“You could have told me we’re in love,” Michael says. “I wish I’d fucking known.”

“Don’t blame this on me. You could have opened your fucking eyes.”

“Pancakes,” Michael remembers. “You’re making pancakes. You should make them.”

“I think, maybe,” Calum says, and then nothing else, just catches Michael in another kiss, sweet like the last, familiar like everything to do with Calum, one of Calum’s hands curling steadily around the back of Michael’s neck. Michael doubts if he’s ever felt more at home than he does right now.

“Okay,” Michael says hoarsely against Calum’s mouth. “More of that. Pancakes later.”

Calum grins. The pancakes sit on the island until they’re cold, vapor dissolving into the cool kitchen air. The world spins on. Life is wonderful.

#michael clifford #calum hood #malum #malum fic #5sos #5sos fic #fic #my fic #actual fluff..........i cannot Believe #how organized am i that this was done and written a couple WEEKS ago #and drafted on thursday bc sunday is HECITC for me #but em i wish you the happiest of birthdays #i hope this fic makes you smile #stuff #i always forget to put my talk tag on these lmao

43 notes · View notes

fromzerotoeuphoria · 4 years ago

Text

me watching the Free! Timeless Medley films

A jotting down of my thoughts while watching the Free! Timeless Medley films (but really it’s just yet another gush sesh about RinHaru I’M SORRY I CAN’T HELP IT 😩)

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Timeless Medley 1: The Bond

1:36 AM | Okay, starting the first film and omg I found a dub version! 🙌🏽

Also, dang woah already this opens up with drama and tension, but this time it’s with Ikuya (with Haru correlating whatever happened with Ikuya with Rin (but nothing comes close to what happened with Rin heh 😁)).

Oh and after the Ikuya/Rin dream is the scene of Haru curling up on his bed looking lonely and sad and like he needs a cuddle ☹

OMG this music is too emo ugh I love it

And OMGGGG Haru and Rin’s race was AFTER High Speed/Haru joining the middle school swim team. So when he quit swimming because of Rin, it caused strain between him and the others on the team #howdidijudtgetthisnow

Aww Makoto and Haru’s friendship montage is adorable!! Look at the lil squishy babies :((((( chibi!MakoHaru is too stinkin cute

✧

2:02 AM | UMMMMM WHY DIDNT RIN GET HIS OWN PANEL IN THE INTRO MAY I ASK????? 😒 Y'all better not do my baby and my ship dirty in this film…

✧

2:07 AM | okay okay, that montage of rinharu was *chefs kiss* Kinda wished it happened with Haruka thinking about it instead of the teachers discussing the boys, but in a way it goes to show how much Haru is tied to Rin without even realizing it, kinda like how he hated to admit even to himself how much he admired and cared for Rin in elementary school

✧

2:29 AM | yes it’s another rinharu trash update, but like: when Kisumi meets Haru again for the first time since junior high, he points out to Haru how they met right after RIN left overseas and how Haru always seemed pretty down about that. This was before the race between him and Rin that ended with the both of them quitting swimming, meaning that Haru was obviously down about Rin leaving alone, not only because the race went bad. And the fact that others saw it too is just UGH, I mean yeah we already knew Rin leaving had such an impact on Haru but like he was visibly down and affected by Rin’s departure, so even though Rin was just a short time in Haru’s life, he still left such a huge impact on Haru. Rin truly was a shooting star, a brilliant glittering light that blazed into Haru’s life and left just as quickly. But he showed Haru something beautiful, something Haru had never seen before, like only a shooting star would. UGH OMG IM SO EMO I LOVE MY SHIP 😭💫💖

✧

2:50 AM | aww eeeeeek the gang is at regionals and Rei just overheard a guy from another team walking by mention how when he was in a rut, some kid with glasses recommended to him books on mental training and AWWWW IT WAS ASAHI from High Speed!!! And Rei stood up and stared after the team because he knew that the guy was talking about him!! Aaaaaaah okay so I’m glad I’m watching these compilation films because these new scenes are so great and really set things up wonderfully for Season 3.

✧

3:04 | ummmm I think I may be crushing on grown Rin too 😣

Rin and Haru are in Australia right now and ugh Rin’s just…he’s just so chill and calming (well, when’s he’s not all fired up at least) and the way he lazes himself arounf and just LOUNGES when he sits and the way he slings his arm around people is AHEM so attractive. Also ,his fashion sense is *chef’s kiss* And he has a sensitive, artistic-soul AND have I mentioned how his entrance scene when he first showed up as an adult in S01E01 WAS FRIGGIN HOT, like the way that music came in with the close ups of his face and his swaggering saunter was just *gesticulates wildly because words don’t do it justice*

…yeahhhh it was a lot, Rin is a lot, and I’m surprised it took me this long to start (possibly) crushing on adult Rin T_T

✧

3:33 AM | Okay, I’m finished with part 1 of Timeless Medley, and why did that ending scene with Ikuya actually get me psyched for watching how things play out with him in Season 3? 👀 I hope I like Ikuya in DTTF, because right now he’s tugging at my heartstrings and is begging me to put him in my pocket for safe-keeping (plus glimpsing him as a high schooler kinda made me feel some type of uwu way). Seems like things will be intense, because Ikuya resents Haru for quitting the swim team and honestly, I feel for Ikuya: he had no friends until Haru, Mako, Asahi and Kisumi came into his life, and the swim team meant so much to him. So for Haru to quit like he did…yeah I can see why Ikuya would resent him. It’ll be interesting to see things unfold in Season 3. Until then, onto Part 2!

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Timeless Medley 2: The Promise

3:42 AM | I’m literally like 7 seconds into this and already I’m UWUSKFJSAHHAKK!!!! WE GET LITTLE RIN and I hope this means we’ll get a lot of elementary school Rin *crosses fingers* Also…umm dang but like Rin’s dad was a looker too 👀 Rin doesn’t look much like him though, so he must take after his mom.

OMG this opening backstory for Rin, showing his relationship with his dad and how he was heartbroken when his father died, how he stepped up at such a young age to be the support to his family…I THINK IM FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM 😭😭😭😭😭 And Mama Matsuoka is gorgeous whattheheck. The entire Matsuoka family is beautiful, like wow.

✧

4:52 AM | Ugh Rin is just…ugh the way Sousuke told Rin the reason he didn’t tell him earlier about his injury was because, “I knew it would break your heart” was just ERHGNSJSNSJJSJDKD 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Rin is such a passionate, sensitive soul who truly cares about those he loves and his heart breaks for other people, and it’s just like UGHHH 😭😭😭😭 Like he even cried a little when the guys surprised him with the pool full of cherry blossoms because Rin is just that sentimental kind of man and omg I LOVE HIMMMM 😭💖💖💖

Also: okay dang EVERYONE wants to swim with Rin: Haruka and Nitori and Sousuke, like Rin really does have folks falling for him left and right THAT’S MY BABY’S POWER.

I wish the films had more RinHaru but it’s ok the added scenes make up for it 😝 Plus…RINHARURALIA (so i can’t be too greedy)

✧

5:16 AM | I’m watching the end after credits and the scene with Gou and Rin with Rin carrying Gou’s bags and walking her home is EVERYTHING. He’s also an awesome gentlemanly brother?? Rin PLEASE you’re killing me!

✧

The thing is, Rin as an adult isn’t spectacular like a Levi Ackerman (my first hubby), but there’s constantly these moments of a brilliant shining light that he displays, and it just guts you and makes you fall for him more and more. They’re subtle, yet so very effective and I just…ugh STAHP okay, I need to be done, this entire overview of Timeless Medley thus far has just been 85% gushing about Rin and the rest gushing about RinHaru 😅🙈 I need to force myself to call it a night because it’s almost 5:30 in the morning and I need to NOT watch the third film Take Your Marks and instead just GO TO BED.

Rin Matsuoka, please stop making me fall in love with you because I’m falling way too hard way too fast and I already have an anime husband (though I doubt Levi cares enough to be mad about it).

(reposted from original blog, July 26, 2020)

#what even was the point of this when all i did was gush over rin matsuoka #HELP I'M FALLING IN LOVE WITH RIN MATSUOKA #why did it take me this long #me watching free!#me watching anime #free!#free! iwatobi swim club #free! timeless medley #rin matsuoka #haruka nanase #ikuya kirishima #makoto tachibana #rinharu #harurin

23 notes · View notes

dazed--xx · 5 years ago

Text

Bulletproof Love

Request: Can I have a Jimin imagine where you think he’s cheating cause you have a lot of trust issues which leads to a fight. Thank you❤️

Member: Trainee!Jimin x Reader

Genre: ANGST, Smut, Fluff if you squint

Word Count: 3,346

Trigger Warning: SMOKING CIGARETTES AND WEED

A/N: So the title is this song by Pierce the veil its better to listen to it while you read you’ll understand the lyrics in between the story better, im just a little emo kid honestly lol. ANYWAY FIRST JIMIN FIC. HOPE THE PERSON THAT REQUESTED THIS ENJOYS IT LITERALLY HAD A MIND OF ITS OWN

I breathe you in with smoke in the backyard lights

“Y/N-ah?!” Sunny shouts from the other side of the inferno, drink in her left hand, the blunt in the other extended toward me. The smoke fills my lungs, the need to cough builds as I inhale. The sliding door behind me opening, as 3 loud voices boom “SUNNY!”. My eyes drifting to the bonfire in front of me, my social anxiety creeping up as I take another hit of the blunt. One of the 3 figures setting themselves down on the left side of me. My hand reaches out to pass the vice, eyes glued to the ground. “Oh...umm..I-I... don't” a soft anxious voice speaks, my eyes traveling from the fire to the male next to me.

A soft smile appears on my face as his stunned eyes widen. “N-not that there's anything wrong with.....I mean I just don’t... I'm not like judging or whatever....I mean um-” “You don’t smoke I get it not a big deal can you hand it to the person next to you please” I ask softly. He nods, “I'm Jimin” “Y/N” We used to laugh until we choked into the wasted nights (Wasted nights)

My excitement built as I got ready to go with Sunny to her new boyfriend's party. Jimin always seemed to find his way at every party I went to after Sunny’s. My crush growing rapidly as each encounter left me in a whirlwind of emotions. “Come on Y/N!” Sunny shouts from my living room. “Relax bitch” I laugh as I enter the living room. “Let’s go Tae is probably waiting for us at Jimin’s” She snaps. “W-we’re going to Jimin’s...?” I mumble. Sunny smiles a radiance I only wish I could hope for.

“I didn’t tell you? I'm sorry I thought I did” She smirks I shake my head. “Y/N you need to tell him how you feel or just move on” “I know but it's not easy man, I’m not like you” I mumble. “Girl, I know I confessed to Tae over a year ago, remember?” I shake my head Sunny sighs. “Y/N remember I was like utterly heartbroken because that kid that worked with me rejected me” the memory rushing to my mind like a tidal wave. Taehyung was the jerk coworker that slept with her and put her into a major depression. She quit her job and reinvented everything in her life. After Tae rejected her, she started smoking, my habit becoming hers.

“I extended the invitation to him to show him I was over him you know? I went back to the café a day before the party and I didn’t even think he would be there Jungkook told me they all quit a while back. So, I figured why not and they were there so I just invited him, I wasn’t expecting him to actually show up but he did. When Jimin came and sat next to you he pulled me away. He told me that he missed me and our times together, that he hates how I smoke and that I don’t hold myself the way I used to and then he cried like hard core sobbed because and I quote ‘ he made a mistake and he’s been madly in love with me since before we even hooked up the first time’ “ Sunny explains.

“Girl let me tell you I was shook honestly and I don’t know how it happened but one thing leads to another and we hooked up in the shed while everyone was sitting at the bonfire. After that Tae had to go and I figured damn he just used me again man, but I woke up in the morning with the cutest good morning text from him telling me that he's happy I'm his again and we just haven't left each other's side” I nod “Yeah, but you actually had the balls to confess. Both of you did really, I don’t have that. I can't tell him how I feel because I'm not sure how I feel.” “Y/N don’t play yourself, cause your ass definitely knows how you feel” She says jokingly “Let’s go” I grab my jacket and rush out the door.

Pulling up the music blaring loud, cars sprawled around the street and yard. Taehyung standing outside, Jimin next to him a smile on his lips. Sunny’s tiny frame running and wrapping herself around Taehyung. Jimin noticing my slowly approaching figure a friendly smile appears on his face. “You came,” he pulls me into a hug “thank god! I could not survive this without you” he pouts. “Why would you think I wouldn’t come?” I question. “Sunny told me big crowds weren't really your thing” dread filled my stomach “I-is there a lot of people h-here?” Jimin nods slowly “But don’t worry you will be with me all night and since it's my party I can clear any room you need okay” He pulls my face into his hands as he speaks and looks in my eyes. I nod slowly “It's fine honestly I'll be okay you don’t have to do that” “EHEM as cute as all this flirting is, I need a drink where shall I go Jiminie?” Sunny cuts me off. “OH! Yeah um lets go inside huh” Jimin says still looking at me his hands returning to his side as a blush creeps onto his face.

The party is packed, my anxiety driving me outside away from the cluster fuck of people. Sunny disappearing soon after we entered the house. Pulling a cigarette out of my pack standing against the side of the house. Its dark, the shadow of the home covering me as I inhale, the nicotine relaxing. Staring at the stars as I lean back. “I thought I'd find you out here” Jimin’s voice breaks through the silence. I hold up the cigarette “Don’t want to smoke in the house.” Jimin nods “Thanks but you could have its cold out here” I shrug “I like the cold....” my eyes drift to the ground “It was too crowded wasn’t it?” He asks curtly. I nod slowly “but it's fine I'll be fine I'm used to dealing with crowds like this I know how to make myself feel comfortable” “By sneaking off and being alone?” He asks laughing. I nod giggling “yeah” “I guess that’s the best way to deal with a crowd” He says jokingly.

My body shifts as I ash the cigarette flicking it far from the house. Reaching for my pack to pull my blunt out, Jimin's hand is around my wrist. My eyes trail up to his face “Let’s go inside huh?” I shake my head “I like it out here.... just us” His hand releases me, moving up to my chin “Just us huh?” a blush creeps onto my face “I-I mean-” “you're cute when you're flustered” He says softly. “I'm not flustered I just...wait did you just call me cute?” I state quickly. He nods laughing “Duh I think your cute, no offense but I wouldn’t be out here if I didn’t...” “Oh...I do too, think you're cute I mean” “I know” He says bluntly I stare at him dumbfounded “Y/N I'm not the type to beat around the bush, I like you and I know you like me and I'm gonna kiss you now” He states pressing his lips to mine. My body in shock from the sudden confession, I slowly respond to his kiss. My arms snake around his neck, his hands on my waist pulling my body against his.

His lips trail down to my neck, sucking. My panties growing wet, he presses me against the wall. “Hmmm you're so damn beautiful.” He whispers in my ear. His member growing hard against my thigh. His right-hand snakes down and lifts my leg around his waist. “Jump” He whispers between pecks against my neck. Following his instructions my legs are wrapped around his waist as he presses his lips against mine. Grinding his member into my core, my panties soaked through my jeans. I softly push on his shoulders. He pulls away as my hand reaches for the zipper of his jeans my lips attacking his neck. Soon both of our pants are off, my legs back around his waist his member buried in my core. He thrusts harshly losing himself in my core “Fuck I've imagined this so many fucking times but it's never been this fucking good god” He moans “it's all yours baby” His lips back on mine at my statement.

It was the best time of my life, but now I sleep alone

Jimin and I have been together for 6 months now and it's been perfect.

*Ping*

Jimin’s phone goes off again, as he beams at the screen. His hands removing themselves from my hair as he replies to the stranger on the other side of his phone. “Baby girl unfortunately I have to put this on hold I gotta go to practice.” He states sadly. Confused I pull my phone out of my pocket and check the time “At 12:23 AM? That’s a weird time to set a practice....” I state. Jimin’s face contorts “Excuse me?!? Are you saying I’m lying?” I sit up “What?! No.... I was just saying it was odd. That’s all” He nods clearly irked by my former statement. “Call me when you get done with practice babe, maybe I'll bring you breakfast or something” I smile at him as he stands from my couch preparing to exit. A soft grunt from his mouth as he pulls his jacket on making his way toward the door “Don’t bother....”. My figure following behind him, like a puppy desperate to keep its owner home. “I love you” I call out as the door slams.

The second he’s out the door my tears consume me as the thoughts take over. Who was that he was texting? Why did he flip out like that? Is he having regrets? I trudge back to my bedroom and lay in bed cocooning myself in the comforter crying myself to sleep, alone.

So darling, don't, don't wake me up, cause my thrill is gone (Say I'm wrong) In the sunset turning red behind the smoke Forever and alone

The sun beaming on my eyes as I check my phone. 12:23 pm no new messages from Jimin. The day goes by extraordinarily slow as I wait for Jimin to return to the apartment. The thoughts of another woman consuming me as the hours pass, soon its night and I am falling asleep alone again.

You've gone and sewn me to this bed, the taste of you and me (You and me) Will never leave my lips again under the blinding rain (Blinding rain) I wanna hold your hand so tight I'm gonna break my wrist (Break my wrist) And when the vultures sing tonight, I'm gonna join right in

I'll sing along, oh 'Cause I don't know any other song I'll sing along But I'm barely hanging on No, I'm barely hanging on By the time you're hearing this I'll already be gone And now there's nothing to do but scream at the drunken moon

*ONE WEEK LATER*

The party I stumble into drunk with Sunny is extremely crowded, her form fitting dress hugging my body. The pregame at my apartment a little excessive, knowing it was Taehyung’s party. Leading my way to the kitchen for a drink, taking me away from Sunny and Taehyung. A crowd of people doing shots, excitedly handing me one. Consuming the unknown shot, I reach for a beer. My drunk form stumbling into the living room, Jimin’s frame in front of me. A smile on his face, drink in his hand. A mysterious woman walking up to him, placing herself at his side. They have a small conversation before she takes his hand and leads him out back.

Running toward the exit, I head home. Once I'm down the street my body collapses as the sobs take over. HE’S CHEATING ON ME, so blatantly, so publicly, he doesn’t care. I open my apartment door dragging myself to my room plugging my phone in bringing it back to life as messages come through on my phone. I click on the messages from Jimin.....

I leave the conversation without responding as I read Sunny’s messages

Throwing my phone down, lying in bed falling asleep. Waking up in the sun beaming on my face, a sharp pain shoots through my head. Getting out of bed to close the curtains I throw myself back in my comforter. Checking my phone 2:19 pm, Damn slept all day. I text Sunny

I go to Jimin’s messages in my phone...

A knock on the door pulls me out of the bed, Jimin’s disheveled frame worried and slumped at my door frame as he wraps his arms around me. “Fuck I needed to see you baby” He whispers. His lips pressing against mine, hunger in them. Lifting me wrapping his arms around my waist, my legs around his.

Our sweaty naked bodies connecting “Fuck! Take it, yes baby girl take that cock” His hand pinning my waist to my bed, his thrusts sloppy. My walls clenching tightly pleasure building within my core as Jimin attacks my sweet spot. “Shit you're so wet for me baby girl I'm gonna cum, where do you want me to cum?” He moans out, his lips attacking my neck marking me as his own. “Cum inside me” His movements halt, His eyes connecting with mine “Are you sure?” I nod quickly. A smile forms on Jimin’s face “beg for it...” the need for him to move builds. I clench tightly around him “No fair baby you're so tight as it is” He pouts, my arms snaking around his neck pulling his lips onto mine as he begins finding a steady rhythm inside me.

Soon we are wrapped up in my comforter, bodies cuddled together; limbs tangled.

*PING, PING, PING*

A series of messages go through his phone. Jimin jumps out of my bed rushing to find his phone. “SHIT! I GOTTA GO” He states checking the contents of the mysterious message. “Aww I thought we could watch a movie....” I pout. He halts his dressing, facing me “I’m sorry, I gotta go I didn’t realize what time it was I’m late for a meeting I wouldn’t have been able to stay I just wanted to be with you until I had to go to the meeting. I missed you.” I nod slowly at his words. “Come back after if you want” He smiles “I'll try..” He says as he heads out the door. “I love you!” I shout as he runs out the door. A meeting???? Did he really just sleep with me and then leave?? WAS I OKAY WITH IT?????!!?!?!

This isn't fair! (No!) Don't you try to blame this on me (Ohhh) My love for you was bulletproof but you're the one who shot me And God damn it, I can barely say your name So I'll try to write and fill the pen with blood from the sink Woah oh, oh oh But don't just say it, you should sing my name Pretend that it's a song 'cause forever it's yours And we can sing this on the way home

I haven’t heard from Jimin in 2 weeks, my messages unanswered. My low point at its lowest, I haven’t left my apartment other than for work in a week. Scrolling through Instagram I see a picture on Taehyung’s page. Him, Jungkook, Jimin, and that mystery girl I saw Jimin sneak off with at that party. Jimin’s arm wrapped around her waist. Her chest pressed against him. Jealousy creeping up inside of me as I text Jimin a number of times again.

A few hours pass and still no words from Jimin, my mind racing as my heartbreaks staring at the photo over and over again. Jimin’s snapchat story updating all day with videos of her, him and Jungkook. Laughter filling in-between them. The last video posted 5 minutes ago, alarming as the mystery woman has obviously stolen his phone captioning the video she recorded as “Surprise Cutie” Her beautiful face glowing as she shows around the practice room. Jungkook and Jimin’s figures dancing in the background as the music comes to an end. The bombshell runs over to Jimin complimenting him on his dance moves.

Jimin’s smile brightens as he thanks her, her frame lifting as she presses her lips against Jimin’s. Exiting out of his story as my heart cracks in my chest. How could he do this? He doesn’t even care... he knows I'm on his snapchat......I can’t do this. My tears taking over my form as I curl into my bed losing myself in the heartbreak. Sobbing I go to view the story and it is gone. A message goes through my phone...

I'll sing along (Oh) 'Cause I don't know any other song (Oh oh) I'll sing along But I'm barely hanging on No, I'm barely hanging on By the time you're hearing this I'll already be gone And now there's nothing to do but tear my voice apart Nothing to do And scream at the drunken moon

Opening the door Jimin's crying figure standing there, his body shaking as the tears stream down his face. “Baby” He sighs rushing to wrap his arms around my frame. He drops to his knees at the lack of affection returned, his tears soaking into the fabric of my shirt. “Please, don’t leave me” He looks up at me begging. “Please, okay? I'll do anything.” I roll my eyes grabbing a cigarette out of my pack as the stress builds. Walking toward my couch displacing myself from the events about to happen. “Look at me, please just look at me” Jimin’s voice says shaky. “You said you want to explain. Explain and then leave please” I say looking him in the eye. “Her name is Hye-Jin she’s another trainee, Me and the boys are debuting soon. So, she is a background dancer for our first stage. She became friends with everyone pretty quickly, but me and her started talking about everything. Nothing flirty just stupid stuff. Then today happens and she kisses me out of nowhere and I freak out on her because I've told her about you about us. She knows how I feel about you; she posted the video to spite me so you’d leave. Please I don’t love her I don’t want her” He explains slowly. Reaching for my hands as the last of his words come out of his mouth “I can't lose you, okay? I can't lose us. You're everything to me please tell me I'm not going to”

“Jimin” I sigh “I think you should go; I understand but I really need time....” His head faces the ground as the sobs take over his body “please baby please I can't walk out that door don’t make me, not knowing you're not going to call me later to tell me goodnight. I can't leave knowing the second I walk out that door you're going to break down just like I am so please don’t make me.” His hands caress my face forcing me to look in his eyes. “Please, I love you and I can't leave knowing this isn't what we need, TIME isn't what we need. Please, don’t do this” He leans forward brushing his lips against mine softly. “Jimin, please go” I whisper, his frame retreating from me as he walks toward the door. He nods slowly “I'm not letting you go I don’t care okay? I'm going to give you time but please know I'm not giving up on you I'm going to wait for you I love you and I won't lose you, not like this” and he's gone....

our bulletproof love shot down with one Bullet.

#jimin angst #jimin smut #park jimin #BTS jimin #bts angst #bts smut #bts fluff #jimin fluff #jimin angst texts

58 notes · View notes

finding-the-daylight · 5 years ago

Text

So, now that my finals are officially over, I am going to proceed to have a drink or two or three and rewatch Eclipse. Here’s (soberly) what I remembered from the film prior to starting this account (since starting this account, posts re:Eclipse have reminded me of things I’m not going to include in this introduction):

1. Bella is basically playing tic-tac-toe with Edward and Jacob and her feelings for them. She can’t make up her mind. When I watched it the first time, my dad was in the living room half paying attention to it and said she was very selfish.

2. Edward tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

3. Jacob tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

4. Both fight for her affection and even though she’s engaged to Edward, she won’t let go of Jacob.

5. When the newborn army shows up, Bella cuts her arm with a rock.

6. There’s awkward tension in the tent.

That’s literally all I remember of the movie while sober (aside from what I have relearned from posts about Eclipse on this blog). My drunken thoughts will be below the break:

Okay, so this dude I think his name is Riley is lowkey kinda dumb, no offense. Like he just stood there and screamed “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?” This is how all horror movies end badly. You don’t talk back. You run or hide or esape.

THE MEADOW IS SO FUCKING PRETTY. IT’S THE PUREST THING WE HAVE IN THIS FANDOM OMG HE’S PLAYING WITH EHR HAIR AND I JUST WANT SOMEOEN TO PLAY WITH MY HAIR. DAMN BELLA, MY FINALS ARE OVER. SUCKS TO SUCK, DOESN’T IT?

I never noticed the CUllen cuff before, but now thanks to this blog it’s all I’m looking @ lmao.

I FCKING LOVE CHARLIE TOO MUCH AND HE DESERVED BETTER THIS WHOLE TIME. HE IS SUCH A GOOD FATHER AND HE DESERVES THE BEST.

THERE’S A GLOWING RED LIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW WTF I THINK IT’S THE REFLECTION OF A CAR LIGHT BUT I FUCKING SWEAR

NVM ITS GONE

WHAT THE FUCK EDWARD?? YOU MESSED WITH BELLA’S TRUCK SO SHE COULDN’T SEE HER FRIEND? FUCK. I WOULD’VE DUMPED YOU AND LEFT YOU IN THE WOODS BRO.

Edward sitting with Bella’s friends. We can’t help but stan. He’s still a bitch for the truck thing though.

I love how Alice looks @ Edward and tells him the party will be fun because she knows nothing bad will happen. But then he reads her mind and looks conerned wtf is ognna happen?

Side note: I really like the lighting in this movie. Everyone has a healthly glow. They lokk happy.

The fucking Volturi always gotta ruin everything. Bitch ass hoes. Ol’ crusty asses acting like some outdated monarchy. Why don’t the vamprires start a democratic government?

Charlie really deserved better. Like I know they couldn’t tell him teh truth but they could’ve been slightly less untruthful prbabl.

I WANNA FIND SOMEONE WHERE MY MOM SAYS WE’RE LIKE MAGNETS WITH EACH OTHER. I WANT SOMEONE TO LOOK @ ME LIKE I’M THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. DAMNIT EDWARD. DAMNIT STEPHENDW.

Y’ALL ARE TELLING ME THE ENTIRE CULELN CLAM COMBINED COULDN’T TKAE OUT VICTORIA? THIS SHIT IS GETTING UNREALISTIC LMAO.

THE MUSIC THAT STARTS PLAYING WHEN JAKE TURNS AROUND IN THE PARKING LOT SENT ME LMAOOOOO.

Leah is such a badass and I wnat to be best friends with ehr plase.

ALSO FCK THIE IMPRINTING STORYLINE.

SAM AND LEAH WERE HAPPY TOGETHER.

NO BELLA YOU DON’T FUCKING WANNA KNOW WHAT IMPRINTING IS. NONE OF US WANTD WTO KNWO. IT NEVER SHOULDVE BEEN WRITTEN.

Taylor and Kristen are such babies in this movie. They’re so young and precious. WHIH REMINDS ME WHY TF DID SPTHEJNFNWFNA MAKE THIS SEIRESO ABOUT CHIDLREN??!?! I STILL SAY IF THE CHARACTERS HAS BEWNNF MORE MATUEE AND IN LIKE THEIR MID OR LATE TWNETIEMS OR THIRTIS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. FIUCKUNG FIGHT ME.

INITING BELLA TO HEAR THE TRIBE’S HISTORIES? THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION FUCK STEPHEN0AWFJQ. BITCHJ.

SETH IS SO PRECIOUS. AGAIN. THEY’RE ALL SUCH BABIES. THESE POOR CHILDREN.

this hwoel shite is sof ukcing offensie. bitch. listen. why tf did stpehwb fafb have to appropriate cultues like this? BITCH>> you do realize if the legnds are actually like this they’rel ike that because it’s aout defeating yo white as sright? like your’e aware stpehebe ?

omg bree is so scare d poor baby. literally why did stephenjdbawfbi do this? she just wnated to be ok not hurt anywaon.

exuce me vut CARLISLE IS HOT AS FUCK BITCH

edward is saying some real romantic shit and i sill hate him for the turck thing but like he loves her so much btu he’s stil an asshoel in this smovie

I’M ABOUT TO HATE JACOB I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES I’VE SEEN THE GIFS HOE WE GONNA GIGHT. BITCH SHE JUST TOLD YOU SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU DON’T PUSH HER LIKE THIS. DUMBAS S HOE BITCH. YOU’RE GONNA FIGHT FOR HER? I’M GONNA FUCKIN FIGHT YOU BTCH. I WISH SHE WAS ALREAYD A VAMPIRE SO RTHAT PUNCH WOULDA HURT BITCH YOU DESERVED IT.

THESE FUCKWITS ARE FIGHTING OVER HER AND NOT LISTNEING TO HER THEY ARE BOTCH CANCELLED. BELLA NEEDS TO LEAVE BOTH THESE HOES AND GET A NEW MAN WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO LISTNE. BITCHES.

I love Emmett so much. BELLA SHOULD FINA A MAN LIKE HIM. IT’S WHAT SHE DESERVES.

ROSALIE IS ABOUT TO POP TF OFF. SHE IS A QUEEN AND I LVOE AND SUPPORT HER. the saddest thing about this is that she thought her life was perfect and then some fucking asshoes ruiend it. she was so happy. wtf im gonna cry. fuck. i hate sptehej n so much. these gross ass hoes i’m gonna cik all theyre assses. this is so gross i’m so angry literaluy setthing beithc. BUT THEN SHE GETS HER REVENGE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. FUCK THOSE BASTARS. but she;s so sad it breaks my heart. she wants to be human so bad. this scene is so sad and it’s theonly good scene in twilight and nikki reed deserves an ocsa like if you agree.

jane and alec more childrne who should’ve been able to be children fck the volturie

why the hel is jessica the fucking valedinact ion? it should’ve been bella they made her seem so damn smart but now she’s not theo ne? i don’ beliee it. but anna kendrick is a gift and now i wanna watch ptiche perfect. CHARLIE is so pure he deserved better and i’m gona kep saying it.

i love those fucking rose colored lamps hanging at the cullens house int he window at hte party scene can anyone link them to me i need?

why the hell is the wolfpack athe cullesn hosue? this doesnt make sense and it doesn’t seem real am i too drunk and imabginf this?

jno wait it’s real. jake’s appolgoizng.

how fucking conventinet the woflpakc is there hwen alice realizes there abotu to be attacked. this aint realistc. bitc.

why are these kids being forces to act like audls? “I wans;t asking for permission” hoe you’re like 16 go home and go tib ed and odnt go to war.

these woflies gonan kick yo ass edward get tf out

i’m laughign nrow but nothigng funy is happening lmaoooo

fck carlisle is really hot as fuck his jawline kills me

i hate jasper’s hair here i’m sorry i know we all lovehim bt heis hair is a dam nmess

belal is so fuckign negative all the time no one is gonan get killed exceptsvictoris

THE COWBOOIIIII WHY DOES HE LOOKS LIKE OWNE WILSON IN THIS DAMN LIGHTIN? ALICE AND JASPER LOVE EACH TOHER SO MUCH MY APLOGIZKE MAAM FCK IT UP.

why thfe fuck is hake comparing his situaton with leah and sam and emily? We are nto the same hoe wae are not the same. bella is choosing edward sit yo ass down. but i still thin kyall are both problemastic as fuck in thos movie and hse deserves better.

CHARLIES DESEVRS BTETER THEY KEEP LYIGN EVEN WHEN THEY DUCKGN DONT NEED TO

reblog if you thought edward and bella wre gona fuc, when she went over to his house in eclipse when yo ufirst read the book or saw the movue

he really oes love her a lot though fkcn i’m so alone

he looks si sad wgen he mentind ices tea on the porch poor edward

EVERY DANM MOMENR OF FOREVER BITCG I WANT LOVE LIK THST

LITERALLY THIS IS THE SUTPEIDEST PLOT EVER. A WHOLE FUCKIN ARMY TOO ATTACK ONE IGRL? BITCH. THIS AINT EVEM A THING.

im gettign ral tired yall dik if i waill mke it to the end of this movie but i will tru

i hate the enrgey from jae and efard in this tent. ya’ll are both dumb hoes and she could do better than either ofy ou.

WRHAT THE FUCK FASTER IF YOUR TOOK YORU CLOTHS OFF BITCH WHAT THE FUCK NOW I AM GONNA FUCKIN PUNCH YOU IB HOEP BELLA OUBCHES YOU WHEN SHES A VMAPRIE STUPID HOE 16 YEAR OLD SHOULD BE AT HOME IN BED INSTEAD OF IN A TENT TRYING TO FIGH A FCUKCN WAR

edward is such an emo boi in the tent and he thinsk she doesn;t lve him any more. yo ua stipiud hoe edearf but she still loves you anwyab ithc.

wheb edward said i’m not gonna force her into naythign ever agin i realized he was hte better man good for you eddie you fickun manned up you win

MY REASON FOR ESXITNST HOE I JST WNAT TO BE LOVED

now edwards bene a fuckboi again trying to hurt jake b ymaking sure he knew they were getting maried edward what the fuck iw was just starting to be on your side agian and you let me down like this

jacob is beign an emo boi now jake go be a child @ home and stop this nonsense you’re not a man go be a chid and take a nap and eat some grilled cheese youkk feel better

now she told him she wants to kiss him wtf bella don’t kead this bitch on he’s already in pain let hom gp home and eat a grilled cheese

mow bella’ supsetti spaghetti because edwards know she kissed jake

this shit is so unenecasialr dramtic wht the fuck yall like a whole army ofver one girl and then its like all everyboyd trying kill everybody this is bulshittheyre all children who should eb at home eating grileld chesses not at war

victoria is a real bitch lying to this boy telling hin she lvoes him hoe bitch

og shit efward ifs pissed now he’s tauntign ab ithc

i acutaly kinda fel bad for riley he wnet through so mcuh and was manipulated i wish the cullens could have adopted him and bree

oshit is the volutire

SAM DONT FUCKUGN TALK TO LEAH LIKE THAT EVER AGIAN YOU HOE

CARLISE AND I REPEAT AGAIB IS HOT AS FUCK FUCK CARLISRL

I LITERALLY AHTE THE VOLTURIE FOR KILLIGN VREE THEY WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN

JASPER KNOWS WHATS GOOD HE DOESN’T TURST THESE HOES

I’M SO PISEED THAT THE CULLENS NEVER FUCKING IFHT THE VOLTURIE LIKE CARLISLES IS SMART AS FUCK AND EHS TILL WONT START A DEMOCRAY LIKE YALL KNOW ROSLAIE WOULDVE FOGUHT FOR THAT SHIT TOO

I LVOE YOUDADY CARLISLE

THIS 16 YEAR OLD LYING UP HERE BECAUSE OF TE DUMBASS WAR I TOLD YALL TO GO GOEN AND EA A GRILELD CHEDWE

poor jakie he knows hed better good for her but she reallys loves eward jake deserved better than what he got reblog is youf agree he jst said he’s even love her after she’s a vamprie bruh go eat a grilled chease and love yourself

WERE BACK IN THE FUCKING MEADOW ITS LIT AND ITS LOVELY I WANNA FALL IN LOVE IN A MEADOW WITH A HANDAOME MYSTERIOUS MAN WHO LOVES ME UNCODNITONATLY

KIRSTNE STEQARD IS THE WBEST AND SHE DESERVED AN OSCAR FOR THIS MOVIE HER AND NIKKI REED AND NODBOYD ELSE

fianlly this bitch is gonna beh onest with chalrie took you long enough

that was an anticlamtnc ending but i love love

#Twilight #Twilight renaissance #drunk twilight #drunken twilight #twilight while drunk #twilight review #eclipse #eclipse review #eclipse while drunk #drunken eclipse #simp ass hoes fandom #simp ass hoes

16 notes · View notes

imnotcameraready · 5 years ago

Text

chivalry is dead (18)

A/N: im unsure of what to say for this one, in all honesty! im just so excited for the ball im Vibrating about it — and writing the damsel is. always an experience. :^)

WARNINGS: Remus mention, suggested murder, disassociation (?), self-deprication, self-hatred, suicidal thoughts (small mentions!), being held captive/kidnapping, wound mention — i think that's all, but let me know if there're any others!!!

Words: 3290

AO3 link!

MASTERPOST! <– look here!! for the longterm warnings!! including sympathetic Deceit and cursing/swearing!

*taglist was moved down purely bc i aesthetically dont like it up here lmao (also i wish it WORK ED— *

enjoy !!! <3 <3 <3

If this Roman was anything, he was too quiet.

“Damsel, I wanna get us all out,” Virgil hissed, arm slung around the bars to his and the Child’s cell as he tried again to coax a reaction out of the terrified figment, “But I need your help with that.”

The Child was pacing quietly, his feet shuffling around the background noise to Virgil’s voice. The Damsel hadn’t spoken again since he introduced himself and, judging by how Virgil could see his single wide, petrified eye watching him, he wasn’t planning on speaking any more. His hand was grasping his mouth so tight that Virgil could almost believe it was Deceit’s doing, if he wasn’t certain Deceit weren’t here.

Plus, it’d been, like, hours. He was getting tired, his side stung, and he really just wanted to go home. His gut was telling him that the others were going to get him out, but that voice was getting more quiet as time passed.

Virgil was mostly anxious about what the hell was taking so long! They knew where the castle was. Maybe they got caught by some guards?

The Thief was in bad shape last he saw. He might even be dead.

A part of Roman coulda been dead, and Virgil wouldn’t even know, because he was locked in a cell far apart from the others and he had no way to get out and no way to contact them and see if they were okay. And he was locked in here with bits and pieces of Roman that seemed discarded. His own anxieties and insecurities.

He knew Roman wasn’t confident about some things, but damn.

….Maybe he should take a nap or something. He was exhausted.

Fat chance he’d be able to rest in this kinda atmosphere. Virgil really needed a back massage and a hot bath after this quest. It was grinding on the last of his brain cells like…..like….like a grindstone?

Wow, even his internal monologue couldn’t come up with anything. He was useless.

“Hey, hey,” two small hands rested on his head, gently hugging his head, “No, you aren’t. You’re Virgil and you’re great.”

He must have said that aloud, then. Virgil sighed, closing his eyes and reaching around to pat the Child’s leg. “I’m sorry,” he tried to wave it off, downplay what he’d been thinking, but the Child wasn’t letting go.

So Virgil did. He went back to having an arm slung out the slits between the bars, watching the Damsel as he shifted his sitting position, hugging his knees. He began to hum quietly, to the tune of a song that Virgil could recognize was Disney but didn’t quite know the name of. And then he started singing.

“Come on, you poor unfortunate soul~” the Damsel’s voice was barely above a whisper, soft and missable as it had been earlier, “Go ahead, make your choice. I’m a very busy Side and I haven’t got all day~”

A sudden thought struck him, and he sat upright. The Damsel had reacted to the Child wanting water. Maybe…. “Child, hey,” Virgil said, “Have you ever met the Damsel?”

“Yeppers!” the Child said, a smile in his voice, “We hung out at the beginning of all this!”

“So you’re friends?” Virgil asked.

“It won’t cost much~”

The Child shrugged. “I dunno. I hope we are! We’re friends, right, Damsel?”

He sunk down behind Virgil, wrapping around his back like a koala and resting his face in such a way that he could watch the Damsel as well. No response, though.

That WAS still his name, right?

“Just your voice!”

“You wanna go by Damsel, right?” the Child asked, brow furrowed.

His singing stopped.

“Yes,” the Damsel said, voice soft and croaky, “Please.”

“Why’d you pick that name?” the Child asked.

They could see him make a small gesture, as though to say ‘isn’t it obvious?’, but the Child shook his head. The Damsel wasn’t always like this.

He giggled to himself quietly. “It’s a fitting name. I’m no prince, no thief, artist, playwright, I’m not anything. Just in distress. Useless,” he rested his head against the side wall, “Damsel.”

Virgil frowned. “Roman’s not useless. He’s….” c’mon, think, but nothing TOO sappy, “We need him.”

Yeah, that was good.

They could vaguely see the Damsel shake his head. “Fine, helpless. I’m locked in a cage. I’ve BEEN locked in a cage for days.”

He looked up again, at the sky.

“Thanks, Virgil,” his eye flicked over, “But….too bad your big-big admission is dwarfed by your gargantuan failures.”

Virgil’s nose scrunched up, recoiling.

A pit of dread opened in his stomach as he realized Roman was still holding onto that, Virgil had said it a long while ago. Sure, a part of him was exasperated, shouted STILL? But it made sense, didn’t it, for the ego to internalize those sorts of critiques.

He felt the Child let go of him, and Virgil leaned forward against the bars.

“Roman, I didn’t—”

“Sorry,” the Damsel cut him off, voice growing more clear, more stern, “I cannot contr-contribute an ounce of constructive input.”

“I wasn’t—”

“You’re the one who says to not encourage me,” the Damsel leaned forward, growling, “All of you think it. Roman, the dramatic one. The insecure one. The stupid one. We WON’T be stupid after this!”

Virgil leaned back. This was illuminating. And a situation he was not equip to handle in the slightest.

He looked to the side briefly, where the Child sat. His legs were crossed and he was watching the other cell with a focused...worry. He was worried about the Damsel.

Virgil turned back at the sound of scraping. The Damsel had stood up. He shuffled to his bed and fell face first onto it, groaning quietly. Painfully. He was pitiful, sure, and he was part of Roman. Virgil couldn’t just ignore that.

He had to work with him, not against him. He didn’t know how or why the Damsel was still holding onto Virgil’s past words, but he did know that whatever was feeding the insecurities (and he shuddered to think it was himself or any of the others, even Remus) was wrong. And that, like it or not, the Damsel was a part of Roman. A sad part but a part nonetheless. He just had to convince him that they l-word-ed Roman.

He shifted again, sitting cross legged now. “You’re not stupid,” he said, “You can be dumb, but so can all of us. And you’re valued.”

The Damsel scoffed and rolled onto his side, into the fetal position.

“Roman, look at me,” the Damsel full on flinched, curling tighter.

“Don’t call me that. I’m not good enough to be.”

Virgil bit his lip. These identity crises sure were confusing. “But you’re Roman, too. You’re important enough to be a whole part.”

“I know I am, but-but that’s what’s wrong,” the Damsel looked aside. “I shouldn’t be...here. Alive.”

The Child scooted up to sit beside Virgil. “No! I was telling you that earlier!” he stage whispered at the Damsel, full of naive optimism, “You’re important! You’re an important part of Roman!”

“Stop,” the Damsel croaked.

They were finally breaking through, Virgil thought.

Footsteps in the distance shattered that hopeful thought. Virgil waved his hand, indicating for silence, and the two Romans immediately fell quiet. The Damsel sat upright on his bed, then hugged his pillow tight to his chest.

Oh.

The footsteps got louder, heels clacking on the stone floor. The Child tugged on Virgil’s cloak and mouthed ‘Dragon.’

They could hear him talking to no one in particular. Probably the guards, but the guards weren’t sentient, so probably himself. That was pretty Roman of him, right?

He wasn’t Roman, though. The Child knew. He smiled at the Damsel, who ignored him, and looked out between the bars again, head just barely fitting. Yep, there was the Dragon, walking towards them.

“Helloooooooo!” the Dragon’s voice echoed along the hall, “Are my favorite three stooges awake?”

The Damsel rolled his single visible eye so vehemently that Virgil almost laughed. Good to see that the Dragon’s theatrics were looked down upon by all of them.

He sauntered into view, standing between the two cells with his hands behind his back. The Dragon huffed out his nose, smoke expelling from the movement as he winked at Virgil, then barred his teeth at the Child. Neither flinched.

He raised an eyebrow and turned to the Damsel, who flinched upon eye contact. Gotcha. The Dragon stepped closer to the bars, leaning against them as he focused on the Damsel.

“Awh, why the long face, Captain Incapacitated,” the Dragon dragged his fingers along the crossbar, grinning wider when the Damsel flinched.

“Leave him alone,” Virgil hissed.

The Dragon turned back to him, still leaning on the other wall’s bars, and stuck his tongue out at Virgil. It had a pointed tip, much more like a dragon’s than a human’s. He withdrew, looking at Virgil and the Child sitting on the ground, and leaned his head against a bar. His emo nightmare was certainly a dream.

“I wish I could let you out for the ball tonight,” the Dragon sighed, a small smile on his face, “Wouldn’t it be lovely to dance?”

Virgil scowled. Dancing with the Dragon was the last thing he wanted to do, thanks. But another word caught his attention. “Ball?”

“Oh, yes!” the Dragon clapped happily as he spoke, “Why else would we need the Child here?”

The Child frowned and mouthed the word ‘we’ to himself as the Damsel met Virgil’s eyes for a second. ‘We.’

“He’s bait,” the Damsel mumbled, looking down at the Dragon’s cape.

“Genius, isn’t it! I mean, look at that worthless, pudgy, snot-nosed face! Any of the others would die protecting him,” the Dragon laughed.

The Damsel turned away.

“We,” the Child squeaked out.

“We indeed,” the Dragon looped his arm through the bars and hugged the Damsel around the neck, ignoring how he flinched and shook, “The Damned-sel here has been so lovely, helping me plan everything.”

No. No way. Virgil and the Child watched the Damsel, who ducked his head and focused intently on the Dragon’s cape, swaying as he spoke. He was explaining his elaborate evil plan.

But, honestly, the Child was furious. He’d trusted the Damsel. Maybe he was right. Maybe he WAS just the Damsel now. He was a no-good sad distressed Damsel who should stay in this little cage and rot and then turn into fertilizer for some flowers!

“Oh, it’s going to be fantastic! Every inhabitant of the Imagination was invited! It’s our annual Creativity ball, you know the one,” the Dragon waved his hand dismissively at the Child, who frowned, “The other Sides were all invited too! Oh, they’re going to look so dashing — the Playwright and the Artist will probably end up dressing them, and they’re going to look magnificent, delectable!”

He clapped in happiness. “And then I’ll get to dance with them! And kiss them! And then, since the others will be here, too, I’ll get them all in once place….to slaughter!”

The Dragon laughed, a high pitched cackle with his hands over his chest.

Everyone else just watched.

Virgil was actually growing angry. The Damsel was working with this clown? And he thought the other Sides would like HIM? Maybe he was wrong, Roman was an idiot.

“....You’re such a stereotype, Maleficent,” the Damsel said, stepping away from the bars again, only for the Dragon to grab his arm.

He wagged his finger at the Damsel and pulled him a little closer, gesturing to the other cell. His mouth was half open when the Child cut him off.

“How’re you going to get everyone?” he asked, loud.

“I, uh, what?” the Dragon turned to the Child, blinking in confusion, “I don’t know, I haven’t thought that far.”

He looked at the Damsel, who seemed equally as confused, but who managed to regain his composure faster.

The Damsel turned away from all of them, head bobbing back and forth slightly as he considered.

“Well,” he said with a sigh, “They are going to come. They will probably try to search for us.”

Was….was he scheming? Just right in front of them. Virgil could feel his anger festering, subsiding into resentment. Of course. The Dragon couldn’t have concocted thorough plans on his own. Of course.

To be honest, though, he’d thought his partner was Remus. Not….

“They won’t know their way around the castle, but it’s not hard to assume they’ve gotta go down. They’ll find us,” the Damsel glanced at Virgil and the Child, who were both watching him with equally betrayed glares, “You-You could...I dunno. Something. Then.”

The Dragon grinned. “Wonderful! I’ll start setting something up in the dungeons — we can talk more about the specifics when you’re getting your dress fitted.”

They all now turned to the Dragon with confusion. The Damsel spluttered a little, pointing to himself with his shaky right hand, and asked “MY dress?”

“Of COURSE your dress, you’re coming to the ball tonight!” the Dragon kissed his cheek, ignoring how the Damsel jerked away, “We can’t have a ball without a prince, and you’re close enough!”

The Damsel was paling so much, one would have thought his wounds had reopened. He looked at Virgil and the Child with a confused frown, then back at the Dragon. “Why? That’s...That wasn’t in the plan.”

“Oh, I know, but I thought the plan could use a little editing. Remus suggested—”

Ah, there it was. Speak of the devil.

The Damsel cast the Dragon a look of despair and disappointment. At least the dislike of Remus ran pretty thoroughly through him.

“You’re still listening Remus?” the Damsel’s voice grew, “We’re still taking pointers from the Duke of Trashville? From Oscar the gross? You’re ridiculous.”

“Hey, hey, you did agree that THIS,” the Dragon pointed to himself, then to the Damsel, then to the Child, before continuing, “Was a decent idea. Besides, I prefer his creations. He’s so much better at it than us.”

Record scratch? Virgil shot the Dragon a glare infused with as much confusion as it could be, because what the heck? “Uh, no, of course he’s not? What’re you even thinking?”

“Well,” Virgil whipped around to the Damsel, who had deflated faster than a mutilated balloon, “He-he’s still….he’s good at making ideas.”

“So are YOU!” Virgil wrung his hands, then grabbed the bars to his cell, gripping them tight enough to whiten his own knuckles.

When they’d first entered the Imagination, Virgil forgot that it was, to some extent, also inhabited by the Duke. Where even was that wild card?

“Where is he?” he asked, “You’ve gotta have him close if he’s got input on this.”

The Dragon waved his hand flippantly, then inspected his nails. His hands were gloved, sure, but if Deceit could do it then so could he. “Oh, he’s just upstairs! I don’t let him out much, having his energy just roaming around would be too much of a wild card for our little game.”

The Damsel raised a hand, eye flicking back to the Dragon every so often. “Locked up. Chained, right? Or at least trying to?”

Trying to? Virgil and the Child shared a confused look before turning back to the other pair. “Trying to?” the Child asked.

“Well,” the Dragon shrugged, “He keeps eating the chains.”

Virgil was confused, but the Child just nodded with a soft “ah,” as though that were to be expected. Which, granted, now that Virgil thought about the Duke, a train of thought he actively avoided boarding, the more he realized that yeah that’s some shit Remus would pull.

“I just visit him every so often, and that keeps him put,” the Dragon shrugged, then clapped, “He does like an audience, as do we! And now we need an audience with you, Kingdom Heart-ache. The show’s about to start!”

The Damsel raised a hand, terror streaking across his face in a moment.

It was hard to not feel bad for the guy. Sure, he might be working with the Dragon, just to an extent, but it seemed out of necessity. Out of some kinda backwards self-validation of deep insecurities.

Virgil was super not equip to deal with that, but he also knew he couldn’t just leave the Damsel alone.

“I’m not going,” the Damsel said, hands balling at his sides, “I….”

His eyes widened. Slowly, he became more….transparent? Virgil squinted. The Dragon too glowed a little, the both of them turning see-through and glowing red and gold.

He turned to the Child and saw him frozen as well, small hands holding the bars to their cell, body glowing.

What the hell was this? Why did all the Romans keep freezing up like this, was something happening in the Imagination? His throat clenched in fear.

Oh my God, was Remus hurting them? Virgil swore quietly. Was THOMAS hurting them? Was he trying to summon Roman too forcefully? What was going on?

They didn’t look in pain, but Virgil didn’t know what happened when a Side disappeared, maybe THAT’S what happened! And he didn’t know what happened when Roman split up like this — maybe THAT happened?

They all solidified again, and the Damsel shot back into his cell, hoarsely screaming incoherently loud enough for Virgil to jump.

The Dragon laughed, a light glowing in his eyes, and the Child sank against the ground, giggling into his hands, happy as a clam.

The Damsel curled up in the corner and hugged himself, body trembling.

Quite the reactions. Virgil stepped closer to the bars again, hands holding the cross bar. “What just happened?” he asked.

The Dragon turned to him, glowing embers in his eyes alight with joy.

He didn’t answer. Rather, he turned to the Damsel’s cell and snapped off the lock, striding in with one large step. He bent down and grabbed the Damsel’s wrist, then arm, then threw him over his shoulder like a sack. The Damsel stiffened, trembling still, and Virgil had no idea what had excited the Child and the Dragon but left the Damsel a petrified mess. He didn’t even argue as the Dragon trotted out of his cell still holding him. He didn’t look up when Virgil called his name.

The two left down the hall, the Dragon whistling a tune as his cape swept along his back.

What the hell. Virgil sank down to his knees, watching the empty end of the hall. “What was that?” he asked, turning slowly to the Child.

Who was still beaming. He sat next to Virgil and leaned closer, hugging him tight. “Patton kissed, uh, um, Bard!” he said, “Patton said he loves us!”

Oh. Virgil hugged the Child. Patton...was in love with Roman. Okay. So that was why he was a little out of it while they were in here, that’s fine. He didn’t even feel the theoretical pain that should be coming from the wound in his side. He was a little….numb.

Patton and Roman. That was fine!

It was fine.

Virgil ignored the yearning that yanked at his heart, didn’t dwell on the tears that pricked the edges of his eyes. That was fine.

“We’re gonna be Roman again,” the Child said against Virgil’s arm, “I know it.”

For the first time in this entire escapade, Virgil found that a part of him didn’t want that. A small, miniscule part, wanted one of the different figments of Roman to trapeze into the cell and sweep him off his feet. Wanted to be able to love Roman.

He wished he weren’t so afraid of it.

TAGS!

chivalry au: @starlightvirgil @forrestwyrm @daflangstlairde @marshmallow-the-panda @askthesnake (i think you asked me to tag @devil-towne too?? im gonna fight tumblr’s tagging system) @k9cat @patromlogil @theobsessor1 @ninja-wizard101 @fandomsofrandom

general: @jemthebookworm @okay-finne

69 notes · View notes