#((in human years they’re like 13 and 15
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FEBUWHUMP 2024 PROMPT LIST
this year's prompts were chosen through a suggestion poll (in which we recevied 2,281 prompts) and a subsequent vote, where over 1,000 people voted for their favourites. the top 29 make up the core prompts, and a mixture of the next most popular - and this blog's personal favourites - have become the alternates
i’m so excited to see what you all create with these prompts, and hope they’re inspiring enough to trigger a whole month’s worth of creativity for you! if you have any questions, please check out the blog's faq before sending an ask, or check out the previously asked questions on the blog!
please note: this year, notifying the blog of completionist status will happen through a google form that will be released closer to the end of febuwhump.
full write-up of prompts and rules under the cut:
FEBUWHUMP 2024 PROMPTS:
DAY 1: helpless
DAY 2: solitary confinement
DAY 3: "bite down on this"
DAY 4: obedience
DAY 5: rope burns
DAY 6: "you lied to me"
DAY 7: suffering in silence
DAY 8: "why won't it stop?"
DAY 9: bees
DAY 10: killing in self defence
DAY 11: time loop
DAY 12: semi-conscious
DAY 13: "you weren't supposed to get hurt"
DAY 14: blood-stained tiles
DAY 15: "who did this to you?"
DAY 16: came back wrong
DAY 17: hostage situation
DAY 18: too weak to move
DAY 19: "please don't"
DAY 20: truth serum
DAY 21: unresponsive
DAY 22: "you weren't meant to be there"
DAY 23: presumed dead
DAY 24: "i'm doing this because i care about you"
DAY 25: waterboarding
DAY 26: "help them"
DAY 27: left for dead
DAY 28: "no... not like this"
DAY 29: not allowed to die
ALTERNATE PROMPTS:
is there a specific day’s prompt you don’t want to fill? here are ten alternatives you can switch them out for!
ALT 1: human shield
ALT 2: "i love you"
ALT 3: found footage
ALT 4: human weapon
ALT 5: cpr
ALT 6: immortality
ALT 7: last words
ALT 8: killing game
ALT 9: lightning strike
ALT 10: last man standing
RULES:
SOFT RULES:
prompts should be answered in the form of whump
creators can produce whatever kind of media they want
you don’t have to complete all the prompts! you can create however much you want to
you can use the prompts after the event ends and can complete them in tandem with any other event
you can post on any platform you want, however this blog will only be sharing those posted on tumblr
if you want to be featured on the hall of fame then you have until the 3rd of March to inform this blog that you completed all the days
if you have questions consult the faq before asking
HARD RULES: (specifically for being featured on the blog)
when uploading febuwhump content to tumblr, please use the tags:
febuwhump (i’ll also be checking febuwhump2024)
the relevant day’s tag e.g. febuwhumpday1, febuwhumpday2…
nsfw (if relevant)
and any trigger warnings that may be important!
you can also tag the blog, @febuwhump
i cannot guarantee your work will be archived on the blog because I have no idea how many participants there will be. a random selection of works tagged in accordance to the rules above will be reblogged every day of february.
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Why are British teenage girls so unhappy? Here’s the answer (Caitlin Moran, The Times, Sep 13 2024)
"The report, by the Children’s Society, found that British 15-year-old girls are the most unhappy in Europe.
British girls aged 10-15 are “significantly less happy” with their life, appearance, family and school than the average boy — and their happiness is still declining.
Boys’ life satisfaction, meanwhile, remains broadly stable. (…)
But I still didn’t have an “aha!” moment about why this so disproportionately affects girls until… I talked to some teenage girls.
It was at a party, and I went to vape with them on the patio. Because I take my nicotine like children do.
“Duh — it’s the boys,” one said when I brought it up, as all the others agreed.
“The boys?” I asked.
My last book, What About Men?, had been all about how much boys struggle these days: their loneliness; their suicide rates. I’d spent the past year feeling very sympathetic towards boys.
“Yeah, well, who do you think they’re taking out their unhappiness on? It’s us,” another girl said.
“One boy at school used to draw a picture every day of how ugly I was,” a third girl said. “Every day for two years.”
“They’ve all got ‘Rate The Girls’ polls on their WhatsApps,” the first said. “They mark you down for weight gain, haircuts, what you say.”
“But then, if you’re hot, it’s just as bad, in a different way, because they’ll be talking about how they want to f*** you.”
The girls discussed coping techniques. Bad news: none of them worked.
“The only way you can stop them is if you become ‘one of the boys’ and hang out with them. But then,” the second girl said with a sigh, “all the other girls call you a slut. Because you’ve gone over to the boys’ side.”
“Surely it’s not all the boys?” I said. “There must be some nice boys?”
“Oh, yeah,” one girl said. “But they keep their heads down. Because… well, look.”
She showed me the Instagram account of her friend. Under every picture she posted of herself — smiling in a new dress; with her dog — dozens of anonymous accounts had replied with the most rank abuse.
“Fat.” “Slut.” “You gonna try and kill yourself again, for attention?”
“They’re all boys from her school,” she said. “And look, this one boy tried to defend her.”
I saw a series of messages from a brave teenage boy, posting things like, “You’re all big men, leaving these replies under anonymous accounts.”
As I could see, this boy immediately became a target too. Mainly accusations that he was “white knighting” this girl: “You wanna f*** her, bro?”
“So,” I asked, “you don’t think it’s social media pressure to be beautiful, or the economy, that’s making girls so sad?”
“Well, yeah, them too,” the first girl said. “But, Monday-Friday, 9-3, I’m not on social media. I’m not… in the economy. I’m just with these boys. And no one talks about how horrible they are.”
I thought about another recent report, showing a 30 per cent ideological gap between Gen Z men, who are increasingly conservative, and Gen Z women, who are increasingly progressive.
I thought about Andrew Tate, who has nine million mostly young male followers — and faces human trafficking charges, which he denies.
And I thought: maybe these girls are on to something. Maybe more people need to vape with teenage girls and ask them for the school gossip."
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✨Small Canon Things in Ninjago That Aren’t Necessarily Important to the Plot, but Important to Me Pt 2✨
(in honor of the first post reaching 2.5k notes)
1. the reason the ninja can’t summon their elemental dragons anymore is bc they’re too traumatized
2. Kai takes laxatives
3. Lloyd felt responsible for Nya’s sacrifice
4. Morro took a shot while he was in Lloyd’s body
5. Cole’s favorite color is orange
6. Chamille, the master of form, is a “bad girl” post s4
7. the ninja were literal children when they waltzed into Chen’s tournament and proceeded to beat all the adult EMs in the competition
8. prior to seabound, Nya resented her parents for not being there in her childhood, her mother more so than her father (✨mommy issues✨)
9. Nya is hyper-independent as a result of her childhood; while Kai is more openly accepting to his parents because he has a better memory of them
10. Wu was close enough with Lilly that he could remember whether or not she wore a necklace
11. Cliff Gordon was a “womanizer”
12. Lloyd didn’t naturally hit puberty until s8
13. Cole and Jay are best friends
14. whether or not you see Pixane as a bf/gf situation in canon, they are canonically soulmates
15. Jay has not yet received his inheritance letter
16. at least up until the Merge, Zane’s statue is still in downtown Ninjago City
17. ninjago citizens are fully aware their only protection are six super-powered teens/young adults
18. the ninja are still famous, public figures
19. Jay is the only ninja who hasn’t died (yet)
20. despite being a terrible actor, Lloyd is always sent on the undercover missions
21. the ninja are on first name basis with each others parents
22. Cole’s favorite genre of music is soft rock
23. Zane has selective memory
24. after Nya’s sacrifice, each ninja depicted a different stage of grief (Zane-Denial, Kai-Anger, Lloyd-Depression, Jay-Bargaining, and Cole-Acceptance)
25. Cole never actually had feelings for Nya, he was just flattered by the attention and petty about Jay being mad at him
26. elements react based on the master’s emotions
27. Jay is so emotionally dependent on being around other people that he loses his mind when he’s alone for too long
28. Lloyd had a chat with god and wasn’t impressed
29. Cole’s snoring can be heard throughout the monastery
30. Nya is not a morning person
31. Kai and Skylor have been in a situationship since s4
32. Lloyd being the grandson of god is not common knowledge
33. the group of civilians that were on the bounty when Cole fell are probably the only ones who truly realize the danger the ninja put themselves in on the regular to protect the city, and how close they are with each other
34. Wu didn’t want to tell the ninja about the green ninja prophecy because he was afraid of having a repeat of Morro
35. since s8 at the very least, the ninja all shared a room on the bounty until the monastery was rebuilt
36. Jay’s confidence in his own abilities fully depends on what others believe he’s capable of
37. several villains have called the ninja out on being “just a bunch of kids,” and then proceeded to get their shit rocked by said kids
38. the overlord can gloat to Lloyd all he wants to in crystallized, but fact of the matter is Lloyd defeated him when he was like twelve
39. Kai and Nya raised and took care of each other, it wasn’t just Kai doing all of the work
40. Kai is two years older than Nya
41. Zane’s biggest fear is losing his humanity
42. Lloyd’s biggest fear is becoming his father
43. Nya’s biggest fear is losing her individuality
44. Cole’s biggest fear is letting his family down
45. we the audience are the only ones who see the characters as legos; they’re real people in-universe
46. Kai likes spicy food
47. while elemental masters are immune to their elements to some extent, their elements can also be shown to hurt them in some circumstances
and as always, feel free to add on!!
#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#mondo’s metas#my hcs#mondo’s hcs#ninjago jay#ninjago nya#ninjago cole#ninjago kai#ninjago lloyd#ninjago zane#ninjago wu#ninjago dragons rising spoilers#kinda
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Was in the mood for some teen + adult Timmy Turner headcanons (3.2k words below):
- Not actually teen related but still about Timmy: I like to think he actually got his fairies when he was 9 (which as I learned after watching “Abra-catastrophe” is actually canon, though in New Wish the fact Timmy had fairies for 7 years raises some questions on that front, like did he lose them at 16 instead of 18?), Poof/Peri was born when he was 10, and by the end of the show Timmy’s around 12-13 (since Poof/Peri turns 2 in season 9).
- Speaking of the end of the show I’m kind of ignoring season 10 for those headcanons, or if I do include it Chloe only had Cosmo and Wanda for a few months before not needing them anymore, hence them going back to only having Timmy (and it was probably awkward for Timmy to interact with her for a while after she lost them. Unless Chloe moved away afterwards or something).
- Vicky stopped being his babysitter when he turned 13, hence why Peri remembers her as a nightmare (if fairies age at the same speed as humans, Peri would have been 3 then). Oh and she stopped being hired because his parents thought he was old enough to take care of himself, and yes he still needed fairies even with Vicky out of the picture.
- Not sure when exactly (between 12 and 15) but at some point he just stopped bothering with his parents. They still mainly interact with him to tell him they’re going out so he just stopped engaging with them. As far as he knows, Cosmo and Wanda are his parents.
On that note, the more it goes the more those two would genuinely see Timmy as their own and raise him as such, even with the knowledge that they’re meant to leave eventually (and it wouldn’t surprise me if by the end of their work with Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda got yelled at by the Fairy Council for being unprofessional by getting too attached to their godchild).
- Timmy would start having Cosmo and Wanda go to school events where you have to bring your parents or similar stuff. If his parents catch wind of those events, Timmy would tell them bringing parents is optional, which they would be happy about bc they’d have something planned for this evening anyways.
- Timmy would also casually start bringing up Poof/Peri in conversations with his friends, calling him his little brother who his parents never talk about because having a second kid is difficult and also you guys can’t meet him because he’s in a boarding school and only comes home during the holidays.
- I could also see him start talking about Cosmo and Wanda, being like “oh yeah they’re family friends who are like my godparents and they’re great! No don’t worry about how weird they’re acting, just don’t question it and don’t bring it up to Crocker” especially for family events.
Tbh if he starts talking about those two he would probably also admit that his little brother is their kid who he calls his brother because “I’ve been in his life since his birth and I’m close with his parents so you know!”
- You just know Timmy and Poof/Peri were being gremlins growing up together. Like Wanda refusing a wish and convincing Cosmo not to do it either, only for Timmy to ask Poof/Peri for it behind their backs. Then one day when Peri’s around 6 years old Cosmo and Wanda don’t want him granting wishes without one of them around anymore because he “hasn’t lost his baby strength” meaning he might be as powerful as Cosmo and they want to avoid disasters (huge fan of Cosmo being op as hell). Timmy wasn’t very happy about that.
- And since I keep talking about Cosmo and Wanda being like parents to Timmy, a word about why Timmy is so special to them compared to other godkids.
First off I believe that Cosmo and Wanda remember every single godkid they had and genuinely loved each of them. Hell in “Hassle in the Castle” when seeing the girl who caused WWI Cosmo happily greets her and Wanda calls her “sweetie”. They care for those kids no matter how difficult some of them were.
So to me what set Timmy apart from them is that 1. Timmy got a lot more involved in Fairy World business than former godkids and by the end of the show was low-key closer to fairy culture than human culture (granted this is mostly due to how the show stopped using most humans characters in the last two seasons from what I heard).
2. Timmy reunited Cosmo with his mom (for better or worse), helped him get a better relationship with his brother, almost helped Wanda reconnect with her sister, and allowed Cosmo and Wanda to become parents. So Timmy basically helped mend some of Cosmo and Wanda’s family relationships on top of being familiar with said families and getting along pretty well with them too.
3. Mentioned a bit more later on but Cosmo and Wanda getting a bio child seemingly made them become more parental towards Timmy as well, thus tightening their bond.
4. One episode shows someone losing their fairies as a teen meaning that while probably very rare Timmy isn’t the first godkid to keep his fairies until he’s 18 (at least that’s how I see it, like the teen we seen lost their fairies earlier but that doesn’t mean another teen didn’t keep theirs until they reached adulthood). That being said I like to think he’s Cosmo and Wanda’s first godkid to keep his fairies for so long. And add in the secret wish into the mix, it makes Timmy the godkid Cosmo and Wanda spent the most time with by far and the only one (so far) they raised up to adulthood.
- The months leading up to Timmy’s 18th birthday were very not happy for nether him nor his fairies. Constant apprehension, half-jokingly talking about stopping time for 50 years again, trying to spend as much time together as possible, possibly counting down the days for the last month, having to explain to Poof that he won’t be able to see Timmy ever again. Just really not a good time for everyone involved.
(btw about the stopping time thing, Cosmo and Wanda understood where Timmy came from but were still deeply unhappy about it because 1. It explained why their relationship was going down the drain being stuck in a small fish bowl for years surrounded by negativity and 2. Their son almost died because of it; they did eventually manage to put it in the past though)
- And since I bring up the Secret wish here’s my take as to why Timmy changed his mind after the ending of “Channel Chasers”: Ok so I’m pretty sure the answer is simply that he’s a 10 years old child who’s allowed to change his mind, but if you want a more satisfying answer I like to think that Poof’s birth is what caused it.
Because now Timmy has a little brother. And after rewatching some early S6 episodes, it honestly feels like this is the point where Cosmo and Wanda truly started to treat Timmy as their own, including him in family photos, having a scrapbook of him, showing no difference between how they treat him and Poof, openly calling Poof his little brother etc.
So not only is Timmy now closer than ever to Cosmo and Wanda, he also has a baby brother that he’s attached to. You could even put in “Wishology” which second part opens up with Timmy spending several days in Fairy World having the time of his life, and when going back home his parents had been on vacation without him this whole time and immediately go to a second one, forgetting about him twice in a row. On that note his parents’ neglect becoming worse could also push him towards his fairies.
So yeah, with all that in mind, I could definitely see Timmy panic as his 11th birthday is approaching, causing him to wish for time to stop. Btw I could see him make that wish late at night, telling Cosmo to come see him after/while Wanda is putting Poof to bed, and Cosmo wouldn’t exactly be the happiest about that wish but it’s not like he really has a choice + Timmy forces him to forget afterwards.
(Also this has nothing to do with this post but since we’re talking Timmy and Poof and I’m too lazy to go back and edit my season finale reaction post: I’m part of the people who, while having no issues in New Wish with Hazel having Cosmo and Wanda and Dev having Peri, I can’t help but wonder how things would have been had they swapped fairies, and I also think that them having each other’s fairies would be better for everyone involved, though again I love the dynamics we got in the show, it’s more curiosity over a what-if; but yeah long story short I realized recently that another reason why this swap could work for Hazel and Peri is that Peri can relate to Hazel’s issue of learning to let go of her brother, since he once was the younger sibling having to say goodbye!)
- The day of his 18th birthday, Timmy stayed up the whole night with his fairies, not feeling ready at all to lose them. When the time came I could see Jorgen have a message from the Fairy Council about how Timmy was both the best and worst godkid they ever had to deal with but at least he’ll be remembered by all of fairykind. Also Jorgen would probably give them an additional 15 minutes to say goodbye. Also also I could see Timmy give Jorgen a hug because despite all the bullshit Jorgen put him through (most of which Timmy deserved tbh) by the end of the day he’s going to miss the big fella, with Jorgen awkwardly patting Timmy on the head, having no idea how to react.
- That day, post losing his fairies, was also probably the weirdest day for Timmy. He spends the whole day feeling a sense of emptiness, his friends ask him about a couple and a younger brother he has no memory of which prompts him to realize he doesn’t remember half of his childhood, which he would likely freak out about.
- Giving more details, Timmy remembers the humans in his life but thinking about a specific day in detail leaves him with foggy memories. Worth noting that this is what would usually happen to a godkid but since most godkids only have their fairies for a couple months (2-3 years max) that fogginess is usually seen as forgetting some childhood memories. On the other hand Timmy has had his fairies for so long that this absence is much more obvious.
- Also Timmy would vividly remember feeling parental love which he knows for a fact doesn’t come from his own parents, and despite being a single child a part of him tells him he has a sibling. And with his friends confirming he was spending tons of time with two adults and bring up having a brother quite often, he would quickly start wondering where those people are now and whether he’d ever see them again.
Also not helping would be that, since he brought them up to his friends, he’d probably have created some lie about them moving to a different state on his birthday, which could also explain his friends bringing them up after the memory wipe like “it’s too bad those guys you like so much left. You’re gonna be okay without them?”
- I could also see Timmy often pause and stare if he sees pink, green, and/or purple objects right next to each other. On that note, my view for his adult design is basically the end of “Channel Chasers” but with three pins on his shirt (pink, green and purple). If he can’t bring his pins somewhere, he’d have three small earrings instead. He just doesn’t go anywhere without those colors. Also touching his pins gives him a sense of comfort.
- Needless to say Timmy’s in therapy not only to deal with his childhood trauma but also try to find a way to recover his memories. I could see the therapists he visits tell him he might be repressing some of his memories due to trauma. And yeah he’d see several therapists because that answer doesn’t satisfy him.
- That desire to recover his memories is why he’d be interested in AJ’s work (and I could see AJ actually try to help him with it, or even Timmy being one of the reasons why he decided to study the supernatural), though I could see Timmy keeping some distance to it (as in not thinking about it every single day and still looking up psychological reasons for his memory issues) since he’s afraid to end up like Crocker. Also he’d be confused as to why part of him is so convinced that looking for these people would make him like Crocker specifically.
- On that note, he’d probably hear Crocker rant about fairies again and try very hard not to think of the fact that the idea doesn’t sound all that crazy actually.
- If Timmy was to meet his fairies again (in human form), he would find them extremely familiar but not be able to place why (unless he has pictures of them in human form from his childhood I guess, in which case he’d recognize them though not remember them).
Btw I could see a scenario of them hugging him to try and jog his memory, which wouldn’t make him remember but he would realize that they’re the people he’s been looking for. If he were to spend more time with them, I could see him remember a few things like some insides jokes or finding himself call Peri “Poof” on accident (Peri would just start bawling at this because “he remembers me!!!”).
Ultimately, I’m not the biggest fan of the idea of him fully remembering them, for some reason I prefer the idea of him knowing they were important in his life and remembering how much he loves them but still building a new relationship with them, especially if you imagine them hiding their true nature to him (he’d probably figure out they’re not humans tho, but he would not sell them to AJ’s group). That being said he would very quickly start calling them his adopted parents/younger brother because again while the memories are gone the feelings are still there.
(Granted I could see the invasion from New Wish’s “Battle of Big Wand” bring his memory back, with him wearing sunglasses to avoid the mind wipe so he’d end up remembering his fairies, I still like the idea of him meeting them without remembering though)
- Speaking of Timmy not selling them out, I could see Dale Dimmadome figure out some of Cosmo and Wanda’s scribbles, at least the part about fairies, causing him to go to one of the meetings from AJ’s group, see Timmy, recognize him as the kid who saved his life and quickly realize Timmy might have had fairies given the effects of his lemonade, especially if he sees his pins and recognize the colors of the two people he’s stalking who suspiciously look like Hazel’s stim toys, on top of the purple color of his son’s headphones which Dale couldn’t find any info on online meaning it’s a one-of-a-kind and he has no proof of purchase (also maybe he saw Peri in human form with his parents, thus putting him on his radar as a potential fairy, and again the color matches up with Dev’s headphones).
But yeah if Dale tried to invite Timmy to try and negotiate with him (fairies info in exchange of potentially getting back his memories), Timmy would refuse bc he doesn’t want to endanger those people, even if he doesn’t remember them. Oh yeah and Timmy probably wouldn’t remember Dale since they only met once and it was related to magic.
(also this has nothing to do with his evil plan but I could definitely see Dale invite Timmy by saying something like “I owe you a drink”; yeah I like to think that despite being a huge piece of shit who doesn’t care about anybody but himself, Dale still can’t help but be grateful to Timmy)
Or another funny scenario I could see would be Dale calling AJ to tell him how he believes a fairy is spending time with his son and might be dangerous, showing some of the pictures he has of the fairy trio, and AJ would immediately recognize them as Timmy’s weird neighbors he’s been looking for. So AJ would tell Dale he’ll help catch Peri only to phone Timmy after the meeting to tell him he found his godparents. And if AJ does grab Peri, instead of trying to figure out how his magic work, he’ll just have him reunite with Timmy.
- Btw while Timmy would introduce Cosmo and Wanda as his parents to people, he still calls them by their first names. Not only because not everyone calls their parents “mom” and “dad” but also due to Timmy’s bio parents only being known as those “nicknames”, so Timmy would likely want to distance himself from them by not naming Cosmo and Wanda the same thing.
- Last three headcanons which have nothing to do with fairies; first of all I see Timmy as going full on no-contact with his parents. Maybe at first he tried keeping some level of interaction but quickly came to realize his folks are more than happy to pretend to be childfree. And obviously they didn’t give him any money for college or anything like that; hell I could even see them half-jokingly comment once Timmy turns 18 that he should start paying them rent. So yeah, needless to say Timmy quickly stopped interacting with them.
- I’m not really sure what kind of job Timmy would have. Given his grades and the fact he was failed by the system (Timmy can be a very clever kid but he’s clearly not made for academic work, which is the kind of work expected of him), I don’t see him get very far school-wise meaning he’d probably have an entry-level job, with maybe something on the side related to his creativity for additional money.
At the same time “Channel Chasers” seems to give him an office job and I don’t know what are the qualifications needed for those, then again from what I’ve seen in other cartoons some office jobs don’t pay well (think Nichole in TA/WOG with several episodes being about the Watt//ersons being poor).
So yeah ultimately I could see Timmy have a low-salary office job with a hobby on the side to get some “fun” money.
- Finally, I have no idea for his love life, mainly because I don’t care ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Between his job probably taking a lot of time, his not so great mental state (again he wouldn’t go to therapy solely for his memories) and research of his past, not sure he’d have time for dating. I also don’t ship Timmy with anyone bc I’m not big on shipping kid characters, even aged up ones. So I guess maybe he’d see someone casually? Maybe Tootie??? Idk
#Fairly Oddparents#fop#Timmy turner#Flor talks#long post#I love how I originally had no headcanons for Timmy#then I saw in my yt recommendations that one video about a deleted scene for him#leading me to get some ideas about what his memories would be like#and next thing I knew I had a dozen headcanons for how things went for him#that being said I didn't actually watch that video so no idea how my hcs compare to it
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"All that matters to me is that you're happy"
Pairing: Nick Nelson x Younger sibling!reader
Type: Request (thank youuu !!)
Genre: Angst and fluff
Warnings: A few curse words, homophobic comments, having a homophobic family member/sibling, being “bullied” by a family member
Rating: 13+ (because of curse words)
Word count: approx. 4k
Requests: Open! For Heartstopper, Twilight wolfpack, Narnia and Harry Potter
A/n: I must say, I loved writing this fic, but it always make me feel a bit weird to write about someone who’s homophobic… I know it’s sadly part of our society, but ugh. Just writing those horribles words made me feel weird and the saddest thing is that they’re all things I’ve actually heard before ????? But anyway, i think the fluff really does outweigh the angst (lol) and im sending you all a big fat queer hug <33
*gif is not mine!!
** Can you imagine him hugging you like this? Making you feel safe and shit?? Ughh. Nick would be the best brother on earth that for SUUUURE (i even wrote a thing about it hehe, if you want to check it out it’s here :3)
Summary: After being around Charlie and his group of friends' the reader starts to question themselves a bit more, wondering what they’re own sexuality and gender might truly be. However, all that discovery isn't made easy by their oldest brother David, who’s never been one to shy away from speaking what’s on his mind (even though it's the most hainous and stupid thing you might hear:)). After a pretty heated fight between the two of them, the reader takes refuge in their room where they will at least get comfort and support from their other brother, Nick.
It had already been a week since your oldest brother, David, came home from university, and it was proving to be one of the longest weeks of your life. David's presence at home always meant you had to deal with a bunch of mixed and confusing feelings. You used to be quite close with him. Once, David Nelson was a sweet and funny boy, but since he entered his teenage years, he proved to be a complete asshat. You still had your good moments together, from time to time, but they were becoming pretty scarce. Especially since he started making all those homophobic and horrible comments about LGBTQIA+ folks. When something stupid came out of his mouth, which happened quite a lot, you usually tried to ignore him, not wanting to engage in a fight every single time. Especially when you knew he loved to do it on purpose, but it was incredibly harder to do since you had met Charlie and his friends and learned that your brother Nick was bisexual. That wasn't taking into account the fact that you had started to question your own sexuality. Fights kept sparking up with your brother, and you couldn't just stand down anymore and let him spew his homophobic nonsense.
Contrary to your habit, you came back from school alone that day. After you waited a good 15 minutes for Nick to make an appearance at the crowded gates of Truham, you sent him two text messages, which were left unanswered. You decided to head home anyway, knowing something must have come up for him.
Sitting in the old bus bringing you closer to home, you let your mind drift. You found your thoughts heading toward a subject that had become quite familiar to you in the past few weeks. You thought about how you admired Charlie and his friends. They were so accepting and loving towards each other. You always wished you could have a friend group like that. You had lots of friends at Higgs, some very nice ones at that, but it wasn't the same. You weren't your 100% authentic self with them. You would never be able to tell them how uncomfortable you felt with all the heteronormativity demonstrated at school and how you always felt a bit weird about being in a ‘girl's’ school. In fact, you didn't mind it at all, but you hated all the stereotypical crap that came with it. Deep down inside, you never really considered yourself a girl or a boy. You were just a human, existing and floating around, trying to make the best of life. You felt trapped by the gender box and wanted to exist outside of it. You wanted to do anything you wished, wear anything you wanted without having to think whether it was a "girly" or "boyish" thing to do. Until a certain age, you didn't really care about all of that, but the older you got, it felt like stereotypes were being pushed onto you even more. And lately, you just couldn't come up with a way to deal with it, although the need was getting more pressing with each passing day.
As you walked home, completely lost in thought and not really noticing what was in front of you, you bumped into a tall, and lanky boy.
"Y/n! There you are!" You heard Charlie's familiar voice say from afar, slowly bringing you back to the mortal realm. "Nick's been looking for you everywhere!"
"Oh, right," you mumbled. "I did wait at Truham and even texted him, but after a while, I just decided to go anyway."
The curly-haired boy stayed silent for a second, noticing you seemed out of it. Silent and pensive, instead of being your usual cheerful self. He shifted his head to the side, trying to catch your gaze. "Are you okay?"
You looked up at him, confusion filling your eyes. "I don't know," you admitted. "It's been an interesting past few weeks." You kicked small pebbles off the sidewalk as he took ahold of your arm, bringing you to a small bench on the side of the road.
"Do you want to talk about it? You know I'm here if you ever need to talk about anything." he kindly offered. You let out a heavy breath. How could you talk about something that didn't even make sense to you?
"I-, I've been questioning myself a lot lately…" He didn't react to that declaration, giving you the space you needed to express yourself fully, but encouraged you to carry on with a subtle nod. "I-, you know, with you and Nick, and your friends and just, everything in fact. I- ugh, I just feel so trapped." Elbows on your knees, you pressed your closed eyes with the palms of your hands. A feeble attempt to relieve some of the pressure you felt buzzing in your overstimulated brain.
"Trapped?"
"Like I'm suffocating. People keep saying stuff that makes me uncomfortable, and I'm not sure why it makes me feel this way."
You turned to face him, his expression a mix of surprise and compassion. With his own coming out and Nick's situation, Charlie was getting quite versed in the 'question yourself' department. "What kind of stuff?"
"Well…" you hesitated for a second. Saying those things out loud felt like jumping off a cliff, and you weren't sure what was waiting for you down there, but Charlie felt like such a safe person. His kind and caring expression made you want to say the words bouncing around in your head for the first time. Deep down, you knew he was one of the few people you could tell this without being scared.
"I hate all these labels and stereotypes everyone seems to be pushing on me. I don't think I've ever really noticed it before, but now I see every weird reaction and surprised glance when I say or do something that might be just a tiny bit out of the 'normal' box. I'm just a human. I don't feel attached to any gender, either with myself or when I'm interested in someone. Their gender doesn't matter to me, it's their personality, interests, and how they treat me. That's what matters and makes sense to me." You were slightly out of breath after you blurted this whole thing out. Once you started talking, it felt impossible to stop. Coming to your senses about everything you had just told Charlie, you nervously looked his way. "Or at least, I think."
True to himself, he had listened patiently, never interrupting you. You took a deep breath, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders. It was such a refreshing feeling. Your brother's boyfriend looked at you in silence before smiling.
"I'm really happy, and honored you felt comfortable enough to tell me about all of this Y/n. Does Nick know about the way you feel?"
You shook your head no, feeling a hint of guilt creeping in. "I didn't know what to tell him… I'm not even sure how I feel can be put into clear words."
"Sometimes it is pretty hard to find ways to put an exact word on a state of mind, but if you'd like, I can tell you about some stuff that might be linked to how you feel. You're not the only one who feels like that, and even if it's not exactly the good word for you, maybe it can give you an idea. A hint of things to look up, to do some research on and see what that feels like for you."
You nodded excitedly. Your innocent enthusiasm exerting a laugh from Charlie.
"But. We'll do that as I walk you home, okay? Nick had a rugby thing tonight and panicked a bit when he realized he hadn't told you about it. He asked me to text him when I saw you and would probably feel more comfortable knowing I walked you home. So, is that a deal?”
The discussion you shared on your walk home was one of the most informative you've ever had. Charlie was full of knowledge, and he was incredibly good at explaining everything. When he left you on your doorstep, words like "non-binary" and "pansexual" still danced around in your brain. You thanked him thoroughly before promising to keep him updated. You entered your cozy home, feeling some relief for the first time in a while. Nellie's excited welcome only made it better. She was dancing around your feet, letting out high-pitched barks.
"Y/n? That you, darling?" you heard your mother's voice call from the kitchen.
"Yes, mum!"
You joined her in the delicious smelling room after you granted Nellie your entire attention. She was still following you around, almost making you trip as she slipped between your legs. As you came in, you were incredibly happy to see the plate of lasagna your mother put in the stove.
"You're a bit late. Everything alright?"
"Oh yes. Charlie walked me home since Nick had a rugby thing. We got distracted a little bit, that's why."
Your mother only nodded with a smile. She absolutely loved Charlie and knew that if you were with him, she didn't need to worry about a thing. She entirely trusted him to take care of her Nelson babies.
"Dinner'll be ready in twenty."
You nodded before you walked to the living room, your bag slung over your shoulder.
"Hey." saluted David. He was sprawled on the couch, focused on some video game on the screen. Nellie, still on your heels, let out a low growl when she noticed his presence. Like you, she wasn't much of a fan of David's. You rolled your eyes as you realized he had, once again, borrowed Nick's Nintendo Switch without asking. You finally grunted in response, not wanting to end your good mood by engaging with him. "Heard you say that Charlie walked you home."
His comment immediately made you tense up. When David was mentioning Charlie, it rarely ended well. You still remember vividly the night he had met him, all the things he had said, and how much of a dick he had been. You had felt so bad for poor Charlie and spent the night in Nick's room, allowing him to vent about the situation. "Yeah." you cautiously answered.
"So?"
"So what?" you turned on your heels, facing him with a challenging look, daring him to say some dumb shit again.
"Well, he's not trying to turn you gay, is he?" he snickered.
Your mouth opened in an astonished 'oh'. He didn't dare to say that, did he? If his comment hadn't made you so angry, you would have laughed at his stupidity. "What the hell, David. Do you even hear yourself?"
He let out an idiotic laugh, sounding like all the morons you had the pleasure to cross paths with at school. "No, but I mean, he's already convinced Nick, maybe you're next on the list. Maybe he wants you to join his little gay club."
Tightening your grip on the strap of your bag, your blood boiled in your veins. If you were a comic character, high-pressure smoke would come out of your ears right this instant. You couldn't understand how such a hateful and horrible human being could be related to you and the rest of your family.
"Shut the hell up. What does it bring you to be such a dick?"
He put his game on pause, noticing the change in your tone. "Oh my god, not you too. Can't anybody take a joke anymore?"
"David, I swear, you better shut up. I'm done letting you say such hateful things without saying anything."
"Listen, I just don't want to be stuck in a house with so many gay people. Don't want to catch it, you know. I don't even get it. It can't even physically work between same-sex people. Is it some weird kinky stuff? Am I really cursed to be the only sane one in this family?" He started his game again as if he hadn't just said one of the worst things you had ever heard. At this point, he wasn't even trying to hide his homophobia. You always tried to keep the peace between you two, knowing it made your mother very sad when you got in fights, but this was your limit, and he kept crossing it as if it didn't matter.
"I don't even know why you keep bothering coming home when all you do is be a stupid piece of shit towards Nick and me. You were an asshole to him when he came out, and now you want to do the same to me? You're not even nice to mum! I, we, don't need this in our life."
"You too? So you are gay?!"
"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!" You took a breath, trying to refrain from punching him straight in the face. "You know what, I'm not interested in having a relationship with someone like you. You try to act as if you are this cool and nice older brother who's just joking, but you AREN'T. You're just mean and a fricking homophobe. Don't you ever talk to me again, got it?" You kept your tone cold, but made sure that every word coming of your mouth was coated in venom.The 'game over' sound escaped the TV, your brother staring at you, clearly dumbfounded by your last words. You left the room before you could start crying in front of him and bumped into your mother, her eyes wide open. No doubt she had heard the last part of that conversation. It broke your heart to see the expression on her face, but if she couldn't recognize when her own son was being a bully, that wasn't on you. She would never accept that behavior from anyone else, she was giving him too many chances, and you couldn't abide it when it came to something as serious as this.
"Y/n, darling…"
"I don't know why you still allow him to come here. It's been years since David has been decent to us. I'm so tired of it Mum, I'm done with it. I can't take this anymore, and someone needs to tell him this is NOT okay. I'm not talking to him anymore, and I really mean it. This isn't a petty little fight between siblings. This is serious."
"I-"
Your attention was captured by the front door opening on a very sweaty Nick.
"Hi, I'm home!" you heard his familiar voice say. The smile on his face vanished when he noticed the expression on you and your mother's faces. "What happened?" he asked seriously. Worry invaded his hazelnut eyes at the sight of your disheveled figure, your chest quickly going up and down, your breath shallow with anger. Your mother's state wasn't comforting either. She looked absolutely brokenhearted.
"David. That's what happened," you said with a sarcastic smile before you went around your mother, climbing the stairs as quickly as you could to escape into your room. It didn't take very long for you to hear the screaming coming from downstairs. A mix of your mother and both your brothers' voices. You shoved your head into your pillow and slipped under the covers, trying to make yourself as small as possible before you let the tears run freely down your face.
You opened your eyes after some time, feeling as confused as ever. You felt like you were on another planet, hunger rumbling in your stomach. You looked at the time on your phone with half-opened eyes. 8:00pm. You must have fallen asleep after all the crying.
You listened carefully, trying to hear what was happening downstairs when you saw your door open about an inch. Nick's face was peeking in the crack, trying his best not to make a sound. "Hey, kiddo. Can I come in?" he softly asked. You mumbled a yes, slowly sitting up in your bed, trying to regain some grasp on reality. His hands were full with a tray containing a plate of delicious-smelling lasagna, a steaming cup of tea, and a piece of brownie your mother had baked the night prior. He put it down on your night table, his eyes looking for yours.
"So."
"So."
"Mom told me what happened with David." he started. "I'm so sorry Y/n. Usually, I try to protect you from him. I'm sorry I wasn't home to prevent that whole situation from happening."
Once again, your eyes filled with tears. You didn't think it was even physically possible after all the crying you had already done, but here you were. You looked down at your fidgety hands, determined not to let him see the emotion arising in you.
"Yeah. Well, he's David. We know he's horrible."
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he has a right to act like this. Mum said she'll take care of it. He really crossed the line this time."
His hands were stuffed in the pocket of his gray sweatpants. A few wild strands of reddish hair fell in his eyes. He still looked so worried, guilty even. He had hoped you never would have to go through that and couldn't help but feel responsible that it happened anyway. You didn't dare to add anything, afraid that speaking would break you. Everything you were feeling was already so confusing, and the fight with your brother only made it worse. Nick kept staring, unsure what to do. He wanted to be there for you but didn't want to push your limits. He decided to sit on your bed, close, but not enough to be in your personal space. A very gentle approach was probably the way to go. You kept staring at your knees, knowing if you looked at him, it was done for, you would crack again. Nick and you were incredibly close. He was your brother, and in a way, he was an extension of yourself. You would do anything for him and knew the feeling was reciprocated. Having that kind of relationship had its advantages, but when you were trying to keep yourself from falling apart… it was kind of a pain. How could you look into his eyes and lie about everything you felt?
Gently, he took ahold of your hands. "Can I do anything to help?"
You stared at your hands covered with his freckled ones. These hands helped you through so much. They steadied you when you learned to ride a bike at seven. They always held yours when you were scared, and they always rubbed your back soothingly when you needed comfort.
You finally lifted your gaze, tears rolling down your face. You nodded as your lower lip started to shake uncontrollably. "Can I- can I have a hug?"
He took a deep breath before wrapping you in his arms.
"Come here." he engulfed you in his embrace making you feel protected and as safe as ever. He jumped under the covers so you both sat, your backs resting on your headboard. His arms still around you, and your head on his chest, you assembled the courage to let the words stuck in your throat be expressed.
You told him about all the things you had been questioning lately. All the stereotypes and labels that made you feel trapped. You told him about your walk with Charlie and how good it had felt to hear that it was all okay, that you were okay. Your gaze turned dark when you told him word for word about your conversation with David. You felt his grip tighten on you for a split second. You were no stranger to the anger David triggered in your brother.
"And then you came home, and now we're here." You ended your monologue and looked up to him. His brows furrowed, he seemed in deep, deep thoughts. Looking straight ahead, everything you told him was still settling in his mind. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, until my discussion with Charlie, I didn't even know what I was feeling."
The mention of his boyfriend seemed to bring him back to the present. He looked at you, forcing a smile on his lips that did not quite reach his eyes. "That's okay. You don't ever have to tell me something if you don't feel ready. I'm glad Charlie was there to catch you when you needed to."
You smiled, feeling once again that comforting warmth spreading in your chest. You were incredibly grateful to have such an amazing brother as Nicholas. You squeezed him a bit tighter. He reciprocated your gesture while resting his cheek on top of your head.
"Although I must admit I am a tiny bit jealous that you told him before me…"
"Jealous, uh?" you giggled after getting up, staring at him and the sparkle of mischief in his eyes.
"I'm just saying I want you to remember who has always slipped you some candies when mum said it was enough. Before you replace me with Charlie, that is."
You burst out laughing, remembering the many times you almost got sick because of all the candies Nick had slipped you.
"No worries, brother. I'm not thinking of replacing you just yet. You're too useful to me."
"Ah! That's comforting." His gaze in the direction of the ceiling, the smile on his face stilled. "I'm really sorry again about David. He's such a dick. I already felt so bad for what happened with Charlie. I'm so mad he dared to do the same to you." Your oldest brother's inner brain working was something that needed to be examined by scientists. You would never pretend to know how it even worked. "I thought that it was me he specifically had a problem with. I hoped that your youngest sibling's status would protect you. That was foolish of me. I should have said something before."
Rubbing his eyes with his hands, he seemed incredibly tired and vulnerable. You hated that someone from your own family could have that effect on him. In fact, you hated that someone in your family caused you all so much hurt.
"David's always been like that. Ever since he turned fourteen, he's been a bully. I think the important thing is that we never let it slide anymore. I think we all gave him too many chances, and it resulted in the lovely human being he is now." You reached for his hand once more, hoping to take away some of the guilt in his eyes. "This is not your fault Nick. You know how much I appreciate how you're always there for me, but I need to fight my own battles, and this is what I've done today. As shitty as it feels to know what David thinks of queer people, I feel incredibly proud to have stood up to him. To have said enough."
Your words seemed to lighten up his mood. The smile on his face wasn’t full yet, but it was getting much closer to a heartfelt one. "I am proud of you too. You're such a badass kid."
Curling your arms to show your guns, you wiggled your brows, hoping it would make him laugh and bring back on his features that dear smile of his. To your advantage, you did know your brother pretty well because he couldn't contain his laugh at the display of your dumb antics.
For the rest of the night, you stayed hidden in your room. You ate your whole plate and decided to put on a movie. You decided that the best remedy to such a shitty evening was to have one of your infamous movie nights. Nick even went out to fetch Nellie and some more sweets to satisfy the both of you.
"Y/n," he whispered halfway through the movie. A huge bowl of popcorn on both your laps, yours salty and his sweet, Nellie sprawled at the end of the bed, you hummed, reluctantly taking your focus away from the screen.
"What? I swear if you're about to ask me for some of my popcorn again, I'll punch you."
"It's not that." he chuckled. "I, I just want to say that if you need help with anything in your… your quest of understanding your sexuality."
"My quest?!" you interrupted with a laugh.
"Shut up." he threw some popcorn to your face, which you immediately ate, before he continued. "No, but I mean if you need help in your research or want me to be mindful of the pronouns I use for you. I want you to let me know."
You paused the movie, your expression a neutral surprise. "Nick, I-"
"No pressure or anything! I know you're still exploring and learning about new stuff. I just want you to know that I'm 100% here for you, no matter what, okay? You can ask me anything, and I'll do my best to help and support you. All that matters to me is that you are happy."
You stayed silent, the idea of exploring your pronouns still hanging in the air in front of you. You scrunched your nose and buried your face in his shoulder.
"I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you, Nick," you whispered with muffled words that barely came through the fabric of his sweatshirt.
"Better than Charlie?" he whispered back, diffusing the seriousness of the moment. You sat straight again, looking at him, a sparkle glowing in both your eyes. He was dumb. He loved to make jokes and tease you, but he was your big brother and your best friend in the whole world.
You offered him some of your salted popcorn before you focused again on the movie. Even though this had been a shitty week and evening, you took some time to just appreciate this precious moment, and took comfort in knowing that no matter what, you would always have Nick by your side.
#ilya writes#nick nelson#nick nelson x sibling!reader#nick nelson x reader#nick nelson x charlie spring#heartstopper#heartstopper fic#nick nelson fic#heartstopper comic#alice oseman#kit connor#joe locke#olivia coleman#i want nick nelson to be my big brother
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Day 7: Secret
I had several ideas for this one, and eventually decided to do Dr. Light’s last and most secret project.
As you can see, I tried to put a bit of… idk, character? into the paper. It’s not been taken the best care of (100 years in a place that looks like this probably didn’t help the condition, and even then you can probably tell that it was through a couple mishaps during Dr. Light’s life).
(Also I like to imagine he has really bad handwriting which is why so much of it is basically illegible lol)
Lore and Actual Design Reference below!
As mentioned before, no Robot Master lacks a function and all (except for 3 total) had the three laws. I think it’s time to elaborate a bit as to why.
Over the course of his career of building Robot Masters, Dr. Light’s stay-at-home children were the most humanlike due to their independent thought. He knew he was going in the right direction, but they still had limits. They could never quit their job, and had to follow orders when they came from a human superior. To the humans around them, they weren’t really “people” so much as they were tools with a personality; interchangeable with a talking wrench in.
So, Dr. Light got to work on Xote (Aka “X”) as the first Reploid.
It’s demonstrated across the X series that none of the above limitations apply to Reploids. They may be built with a purpose in mind, but they aren’t bound by the 3 laws and can decide for themselves what they are and what they do. For just a few examples:
Pretty sure Alia was a scientist for a little while there before becoming a navigator
Axl quitting Red Alert of his own volition
Zero & X becoming friends despite the latter being created to destroy the former
All of the “new gens” that “went Maverick at will”
The fact that Mavericks can (and do) harm humans
X deciding to become a Maverick Hunter at all
And that’s just the ones that I, a mostly Classic Series fan, am aware of. There’s bound to be even more that I’m NOT aware of!
(This isn’t to say they aren’t still seen as tools sometimes. It’s a very slow progression until they’re on fully even footing.)
So, uh, the TLDR of that all is that the biggest difference between Robot Masters and Reploids is that Robot Masters can’t decide with the same freedom what they want to do with their lives for themselves and can’t really do anything against humans unless under very specific circumstances
Sorry about the rambling lol
————————————————————————
X’s design!
Forgot to note:
Since Reploids have that much more autonomy there are like. Resources & stuff for Reploids that want to “grow up”. X gradually upgraded from being around 12-13 (pre-games) to like 15 (MMX1) to, in X8-ish, being like a full-grown 20-30-year-old adult. (Add that to things Robot Masters can’t do that Reploids can lol)
X doesn’t have a model number.
Zero does have a model number, because 1) he didn’t know all of Light’s plans and 2) Wily leans more into the “my robots are tools” line of thought. But Zero doesn’t give a heck about his past canonically so even if he doesn’t know that he definitely doesn’t care lol
#X Light#sibling shuffle au#mega man au#mega man classic#megaman#megaman x#lore#This stuff might not even come up much in the future lol#His name is Xote to match the music genre theme but he goes by X#He just prefers X what can I say
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hi girlie. thoughts on spencer’s bisexuality? specially post-prison spence. would he be more willing to experiment or just keep being the same guy who doesn’t care at all? just thinking. plus thoughts on austin? we didn’t got to see much about it. honestly i think both of them would have gone harder than with maeve, to be honest. i did not got much of the vibe from maeve and spencer and it felt like quiet new and weird coming from him? we’ve seen him interacting more before with these super confident girls like lila and cat. to me, it looks like these are more his type, pretty odd for a introvert guy like him.
babe thoughts on spencers bisexuality are all i have
but i also have thoughts on all his girlfriends actually
spoilers for maeve, cat, trigger warning season 14 episode 15 “truth or dare” mentioned😓😓 that fuck ass episode
i think post prison spencer is too traumatized and too exhausted to be thinking about romance or sex for a good long while. if he was already in a committed relationship before he went in, i think he’d stay because he’s incredibly devoted and i feel like he tends to latch on to one individual as his person and then never let them go, but if he wasn’t, i don’t think he’d be pursuing anyone, period, boys girls anyone in between or outside, i think bro is just TIRED lmfao
but specifically speaking about his relationship w his own bisexuality, i think if it wasn’t something he was super comfortable with before prison it sure as hell won’t be something he decides to confront after prison. i think he would just ignore it and continue on with life in his own little world ignoring other human beings. i think if he was chill with his sexuality before he went to prison that wouldn’t change afterward other than the fact that he’d probably find himself less attracted to men because they scare him a lot more now. i don’t think he would suddenly start having a ton of internalized homophobia (although he has so much self loathing it could definitely present that way) but again i don’t think he would be interested in seeking out new romantic or sexual partners for a while regardless of gender
and i liked austin a lot!!! potentially controversial opinion but i did NOT like maeve for him. she was clearly designed to be spencer but a girl so we would be like omggg she’s so perfect for him and then we would be extra sad when she died but imo their relationship fell flat, lacked passion or believability, and simply wasn’t interesting to me. the way he spoke about her reminded me of the way a 13 year old speaks about his girlfriend after a month of dating when he thinks they’re going to get married.
i have always FIRMLY believed that he had more chemistry with almost ANY of his love interests, even austin and the einstein chick who were around for ONE EPISODE EACH than he did with maeve. spencer seemed more interested and challenged by literally every single one of them. and i think he needs someone who challenges him. like spencer understands everything, give him someone who he can’t figure out and who drives him insane and is endlessly compelling and confusing elle greenaway!! we saw the way he wanted to genuinely consume lilah and cat. both more interesting than maeve. maeve was giving like… older sister almost?? like that woman had a FIANCÉ and according to canon she was his first “girlfriend” (strong word for what she was… those bitches were e-dating at best) it was just bizarre in the same way it was bizarre for a woman who had been married for ten years with two children to declare her love for him. i genuinely can see him with an older woman elle greenaway but the dynamic was just off with jj and maeve.
so that’s my rant on them. i could go on forever
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i went on tiktok for a bit, stumbled upon some challengers edits, checked the comments and they made me want to rip my hair out.
i had gotten used to the intellectualism and the way people go deep into topics on tumblr and they actually form opinions and just seeing what is going on over there bothered me so much because i realised that most people on tumblr are adults while most people on tiktok are teenagers. they’re children. literally.
i’m sitting there like “oh my god, they just don’t GET it” and then i think, well, duh, their “crush” is probably a 15 year old with a football fanpage that calls attractive women “bops”
i can’t expect of them to get it, they haven’t had a taste of how complex human relationships are, that there is no black and white, that there is no villain and no pure evil person.
everything in their opinions is so surface level because they want emotions served to them on a plate, they want to see the actions you do to put the little label of “good” or “bad” on you.
somebody said patrick was the heart of the three and someone else answered “he literally slept with his best friend’s wife” and somebody else answered “oh my god, they were hardly best friends, they hadn’t spoken in 13 years”
i mean.. how do you explain to them that patrick isn’t the heart of the three because he is just a purely innocent person, he’s the heart because he finds the perfect balance between tashi’s passion for tennis and art’s craving for intimacy. he does both, he needs both and he gives them both.
not to sound like an elite bitch, but people on tiktok still consider challengers to be a love triangle, they can’t comprehend that tashi and art wouldn’t work out without patrick and tashi and patrick wouldn’t work out without art, it’s a chain, they have pieces of each other that they all need and it’s not a matter of “which one?”, you’re not “team patrick” or “team art” that’s so shallow as a mindest.
then for the comedic bit i also wanted to comment on sexual matters a bit and how differently people handle them depending on the app because of the different ages of the audiences or the censorship of the app. someone on tiktok explained to a user who didn’t understand that patrick serving like that in new rochelle means him and tashi “did it” and you go on tumblr and you open the challengers tag to find “dilf!patrick with a piss kink” or “puppy!art with a cockring” and it’s like the meme with the two houses where one is supposedly goth and the other one is barbie’s dreamhouse, it feels like two different sides of the same fandom, one being into hardcore bdsm and the other one still calling sex “hanky panky” or “the devil’s tango”.
#challengers#art donaldson#patrick zweig#tashi duncan#josh o'connor#mike faist#zendaya#challengers 2024#challengers movie#minnie rambles#minnie complains
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Ok hopefully I have some time to talk about my fairy Timmy with the Nicktoons unite gang au (should I call it fairy Timmy and nicktoons gang? I really need a name for this au honestly)
Also got Halloween 🎃 ideas but moving onto my fairy Timmy and the Nicktoons unite Jimmy Timmypower au ideas
Last I left off Timmy gone missing from the human realm of his universe at around age 12-13 and no one knows what happened to him except Cole but she cannot tell anyone what she knows being as she’ll lose having Wanda & Cosmo as her fairy god parents plus not get to see Timmy Poof or foop as well
Now Jimmy Never met Cole and I know he doesn’t know Peri/ poof entirely either all I know is cocker ended up into Jimmy’s universe while teaming up with one of Danny’s ghost villains so of course Jimmy had to call on Danny for help with the ghost teaming up with Cocker and that’s when they learn Timmy been missing from his own universe so they had to deal with cocker and the ghost witch much trouble because they don’t know how to deal with Cocker the fairy obsessed crazy man he’s one of Timmy’s villains and he’s more than likely to team up with ghosts again to try to capture a fairy 🧚♂️
Now to be clear Jimmy and Timmy are about the same age when they met in Jimmy Timmy power hour so Jimmy’s about 12-13 as well and when both Jimmy and Timmy 1st met Danny Danny was 14 so I say he’s around 15-16 also Jimmy Timmy and SpongeBob didn’t know Danny is a half ghost at the time they met up in the games and there is a lot about each other they didn’t know so while trying to find out how to deal with cocker and find out what happened to Timmy Danny even though in his own universe everyone now knows he’s half ghost and his parents are fine with that & even are helping him deal with his ghost powers like his friends and sister been doing now and Danny’s teacher understands as well and all of them been helping him so he can handle school and fighting ghosts at the same time Jimmy and SpongeBob doesn’t know of this so Danny ends up telling showing that’s he’s half ghost to Jimmy because Danny doesn’t need to keep it a secret anymore so Danny and Jimmy get SpongeBob that maybe there’s more to Wanda and Cosmo being as Danny can understand that maybe Timmy couldn’t came clean about Wanda and Cosmo really are and Jimmy admits he did suspect that everything in Timmy’s life didn’t seem ok because he once got mistaken by Timmy’s crazy birth parents and had to deal with being Timmy once and it wasn’t good but that was only for a day now who know what Timmy’s been dealing with all this time so while Timmy’s birth parents are away they look into Timmy���s old room witch would be Dusty being as in their shame for not realising they didn’t realise their son was missing until like a month and Cocker had come to snoop after Timmy not showing up to school and then they ended up calling the police and then getting called out for not noticing their 12-13 kid was missing they’ve not gone into Timmy’s room after that (in the future years and years from then they’ll turn it into a gym then go about their lives like they never had a kid being as they’ve been listed as bad parents that lost their son and didn’t even notice he was gone and don’t want to acknowledge how badly they mucked that up; they’ll be mighty alone being as no one’s wants anything to do with them after Timmy’s gone)
So they’re in Timmy’s abandoned dusty bedroom everything seems to be just as Timmy left it before he went missing but being as Jimmy’s smart he takes notice that the fishbowl that’s always been in Timmy’s room is gone; it’s the only thing that’s gone from his bedroom
So then Jimmy and Danny go to explore Timmy’s hometown for more clues (SpongeBob had to work being as he’s the only adult who has a day job in the team so he had to go back to his universe but asks Jimmy & Timmy to keep him updated on Timmy and if he’s alive and well; being as he’s the mum
Friend of the team he’s of course worried about whatever happened to Timmy) and it would be harder to hide with SpongeBob with them honestly so then they meet AJ & Chester who thinks that Timmy must of run away to get away from Vicky being as Timmy’s parents have her babysit him so often and he probably starting to feel like he was too old for a babysitter but his parents didn’t see it that way so they believe Timmy probably safer from Vicky by running away so Aj and Chester are no help to Jimmy and Danny on finding where Timmy is
And they were about to give up until they spot Cole with Wanda and Cosmo
Timmy & Toddler Peri/poof are up in fairy world with my fairy Oc Felicity who’s teaching them how to handle their fairy powers while Wanda and Cosmo are down on earth with Cole and then Danny turns ghost and grabs Wanda and Cosmo surprising them and Cole so then Jimmy has to explain that Cocker been teaming up with ghosts from Danny’s universe and they needed them and Timmy so then Cole wishes them all to fairy world to where Timmy and Poof/peri are having their fairy training for the day and then Fairy Felicity being as one of her jobs before becoming a fairy teacher to Timmy & Poof/Peri (they go to spellmentry on other days)
Is to keep records of everything that goes on with fairies has to play out with a flashback showing of all the reasons of why the Fairy council made up their minds have Timmy become a forever Fairy 🧚♀️ and become Wanda and Cosmo’s son for forever more but she doesn’t trust them to treat Timmy and Poof well being as it’s stated that bad things happen when Fairy Children cry and she’s gotten to know her students very well so is protective of them but then cocker teaming up with the ghosts helps her change her mind about trusting them and it doesn’t help anti fairies get Timmy’s anti fairy Ymmit around this time so she has to team up with them then cocker had nab Fairy Timmy in all the havoc going on and OH Boy is that man jealous Because Timmy become the very thing he’s been after for YEARS so he’s hurting Timmy so of course Timmy cry’s out and well we all know bad things happen when Fairy kids cry so cocker gets hit with a Thunder making him let Timmy go and Wanda Cosmo and Peri quickly grab him to tend to his hurts/ ouchies and well fuss over him while felicity stands up to cocker to back off she’s soo mad at this crazy man but then Jimmy Danny and somehow SpongeBob somehow beat the crazy man away and then with their help the fairies beat away the anti fairies and ghosts so then the fairy council give awards to Jimmy Danny and SpongeBob and make it so they’ll be allowed to be able to visit fairy world whenever they please and help Felicity train Timmy &poof/peri once they learn Danny is half ghost and that Jimmy is pretty smart so can help Felicity out (witch she is relived to learn; that she’s getting some help being as she’s mostly been on her own with this and feels like Timmy & Peri/poof need to be able to socialise with other not just her Wanda Cosmo and Jorgen when he pops into her class)
So felicity starts popping into Jimmy’s lab with Timmy and poof/peri for training when Jimmy’s not too busy with school and his inventions
This also means that Jimmy Danny and even SpongeBob have the knowledge now that Timmy’s universe is the one fairies 🧚♀️ and magical creatures live and get to learn more about fairies
Jimmy ends up with his own copy of DA Rules so he knows more about Fairies now (Cocker is soo outraged he’s excluded from anything to do with fairies; Jimmy can have fairies answering his every wish because he doesn’t wish to abuse their magic for power and rather uses his own brain than rely on magic; magic Timmy’s thing and he’s starting to fall more and more for Timmy the more he gets to see Timmy free from all the abuse & neglect he once had to face and now that Timmy has better influence like better teachers who actually care about their students and parents who are fully willing to help him if he needs help with anything and a adorable baby bother to play with I’m very sure Timmy will go back to the sweet boy he was before Vicky became his babysitter (he’ll probably still be a little sassy of course but now he has a more stable life I’m sure he’ll less likely act out as much)
Also don’t help as a tiny fairy Timmy is super cute
Jimmy & Danny have to agree it’s sad Timmy had to lose his humanity fully for things to get better for him but there was nothing else they or even fairies can do
Now
What they can do now is make sure no others can use any of the fairies for wrong things like cocker try’s to do
Totally see SpongeBob asking so many questions about fairies now that It’s apparent fairies are real
Also see Jimmy and Timmy dating once they’re both adults;
#fairy timmy turner au#fairy timmy#nicktoons unite#jimmy timmy power hour#jimmy neutron#danny phantom#fairly odd parents oc#fairly odd parents#fairy Timmy with the nicktoons#fop timmy#fop timmy turner#fairly odd parents timmy turner#fairly odd parents timmy#my drawings#my artwork#my sketches#my art#chibi cartoon#jimmytimmy#Timmy Jimmy
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Abstract economic theorizing typically asserts that prices coordinate the best rational resource allocations and that prices reflect the best information available while the market bets of the smartest people with skin in the game ensure efficiency. But Russell exposes this as flawed fig-leaf logic. He quotes one market participant (an insider “traitor”) confessing the “irrationality of commodity prices.” Algorithmic trades are shots fired between swanky skyscrapers as “hedge funds raid each other’s coffers,” collaterally taking calories out of the mouths of poor kids. Besides, only the absurdly blinkered could imagine that global food is used rationally or efficiently—never mind ethically. Grain used for biofuels “eats up enough food to feed 1.9 billion people annually.” Rich-world pets are less food insecure than the 2.4 billion people (1 in 3 humans) classified by the U.N. as lacking “access to adequate food.” Seventy-seven percent of global farming land is used for livestock which mostly the rich consume (or waste). Indeed, 30-40 percent of all food grown is wasted. Market forces aren’t in the business of fixing this sort of massive and malicious malarkey. For instance, analysis of market-oriented African Green Revolution projects, which aimed to “catalyze a farming revolution in Africa” by helping farmers in 13 countries over a period of 15 years switch from traditional subsistence-and-barter methods to raising monocrops for commercial export, concluded that they led to 31 percent higher undernourishment. As Timothy A. Wise reports in Mongabay News, this large-scale effort was led by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and the U.S., U.K., and German governments, with the goal of doubling “yields and incomes for 30 million small-scale farming families while halving food insecurity.” As much as $1 billion per year went into the effort. But integration of small farmers into international markets put these small farmers under the same pressures that for-profit farmers face the world over (but without rich-nation safety nets). They’re at the mercy of volatile global pricing but have high fixed costs of inputs like commercial seeds and fertilizers. The net result was that even when yields rose, they often “failed to translate into rising incomes.” Many of these small farmers could now neither barter traditional crops with neighbors, nor did they have sufficient income to buy local food, a punishing recipe for food insecurity (further details are available in Wise’s coverage). The bottom line is that markets only feed you if you can pay (to match the bets of invisible-hearted hedge-funders or manufacturers of rich-world pet food).
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@ofthemorningstars commented on my q&a post and i wanted to make a general little post for ALL of you aspiring writers.
i’ve talked to people who wanted to start writing many times before, who have said to me “your writing is so good, and i wish i could do it like you”. i always say the same thing to them:
cut bc this is long lol
the number one first thing you need to know when you start writing is that it has to be yours. it is a world entirely your own, of your design, your unique and wonderful imagination, and it must make YOU happy. don’t compare urself to me, dont compare urself to tolstoy, don’t compare urself to shakespeare. the things you make can only be made by you, even if they’re inspired by something else, even if they’re fanfic. every story, movie, song, painting, etc. is derivative of something else, that’s just bc there’s so many talented humans. that doesn’t mean they aren’t unique creations on their own. that doesn’t mean you’re copying someone.
the biggest roadblock to writing—and any art really—is your own mind. you will kill urself with negativity, telling urself that it isn’t good enough, that it is awkward, that it is derivative, that it does not deserve to be read. i struggle with that all the time, but generally that’s to my own standards and not another authors. this is what i mean when u say u can’t compare urself—
YOU HAVE SO MUCH CREATIVITY TO OFFER THE WORLD.
YOU.
you are amazing. everything you create is special. i could never write what you write, and you could never write what i write. we are humans who grow up in vastly different lives, with experiences that shape the way we think and create and inspire. we have different opinions, relationships, and memories that will shine through in our individual works.
when we write, we leave the unique and beautiful pieces of ourselves in the text.
and you need to remember that.
the second thing i tell people to focus on is time.
i’m gonna expose myself on main here and show you a snippet of a fanfic i wrote when i was 13
yeah that’s fucking embarrassing. what an introduction bro. people totally get tattoos when they’re 15.
the point being that you don’t start writing like a wizard day one. this excerpt was about a year into my writing and i was a middle schooler. you look at that and you wouldn’t expect the author of little monster.
so if writing is something you want to do and you’re passionate for, even as a hobby, you need to sit down and do that often. VERY often. serious and even average authors write EVERY DAY. even if it’s just one sentence. writing is an easily accessible hobby that has a HIGH ceiling for “being good” at it and an even tougher path to the professional level. anyone can write, and everyone does. whether those are emails or smutty fanfics, it’s just a fact of life. if it’s something you want to improve at, take it seriously. so many people write a few stories and call it day, saying they suck and they’ll never improve. well, i’ll tell you now, you’ll never feel good about your writing until you take it seriously.
and if it’s casual for u, that’s totally fine! i won’t tell u that u HAVE to write everyday. not even i do that !! (though it is most days). but that doesn’t mean it’s something you don’t have to work on. imagine if you wanted to learn an instrument— if you only learned a few songs, if you only practice once in a blue moon, would you call urself a musician? even if u never wanted to join a band, would you call yourself a guitarist because you learned four chords?
you’ll never be happy with ur art unless u practice. and it will suck, i assure you. but you need to be patient. you have to be bad first to be good.
so, in summation of all these things i’ve learned both on my own and in studying creative writing, i’ll leave you with this (and i know this post is a fucking mess lmao)
you are the most special and unique person in the world, because only you can tell the stories in your head. just give yourself the time and patience to get there.
i believe in you.
#and if you want more detailed writing advice#HMU anytime!!!!#@ me in ur works!!!!#i’d love to see your art <3#everest the thinker#worship the eversnake#writing advice#writing
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Rant about Creepypasta Ages/ misinformation
(istg this is the first and last time I’ll mention this on tumblr)
“Toby’s a minor🤡” Since when is 19 a minor? He’s not even 19 anymore he’s 29 almost 30. Begging you guys to think before you open your mouths. Same w Jeff that man is literally 29-40. Even in the Woods story where he was 13 it literally says “it’s unknown how old he is now” because he’s on the run and has been for years. No ones keeping track of the man’s birthdays bc he’s a criminal but it’s implied he’s a grown ass man bc literal years pass. The stories where they’re 17 and 13 are called origin stories. That means it explains how they got the way they are and why they behave the way they do. Not that they’re age locked at 13 and 17. Especially Toby bc kastoway said multiple times that he’s in his 20s and even drew him as such. There’s literally a whole age chart for Toby. This is all literally surface level information. You guys are showing me every day that you guys don’t actually read or research the characters you claim to love sm. Especially with BEN who’s literally evil computer code. Not Ben the 12 year old boy. The only minors are Sally who passed at 8 so she’s permanently 8. Ben the 12 year old boy who passed at 12 so he’s 12. Not BEN, the evil entity. Lulu who’s age locked at 15 and Lazari if you wanna count them. Everyone else is in their late 20s-early 30s. Or like Bloody Painter and Jane in their 40s/almost 40. Again begging yall to do research before you speak. The misinformation is crazy. (Again idc if you hc them as minors hcs don’t bother me at all!! The only reason I bring it up is bc ppl get mad at ppl for shipping certain characters together or call them awful things bc they think nsfw content of certain characters is sexualizing minors when it’s not. Bc they’re not minors. I just want the fandom to be as peaceful and unproblematic as possible. (Impossible ask, ik) and try to use my platform for good. But if you are gonna make Creepypasta nsfw art/content make sure you use the adult designs. Also if you are sexualizing minors/ proshipping you need to be in jail and shamed.Idc. It’s literally not hard to do research and be a normal human especially if you’re an adult like me.)
#creepypasta#creepypasta hcs#creepypasta fandom#creepypasta characters#ticcy toby#creepypasta headcanon#crp#nina the killer#rant#jeff the killer creepypasta#jeff the killer headcanons#jeff the killer#ben drowned
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This is art for my New All Caste au. Basically, Jason wants to rebuild the all caste in order to keep the culture alive and also to have more people who can fight the untitled. Since Essence is busy sharing a body with Isabel, Jason decides he’ll do it on his own. He was the only human to be able to learn how to wield the all blades and the all blades are connected to his soul so he uses some random magic item to find people with souls like his. The two people he finds first are Tara and Grant. So now he has to redeem them according to all caste standards so murder is fine but other than that Jason’s got his work cut out for him.
In this au, they did all die at some point but stayed dead long enough for all of them to have ended up roughly the same age. Originally when Jason was 13, Tara was 15 and Grant was 20 but now they’re all roughly twenty. I keep saying ‘roughly’ because Jason was in a coma and unresponsive for a bit so if you ignored that year then he’d probably be more like nineteen.
Also, since I don’t think I’d be able to handle the whole cannon Tara and Slade situation with the gravity it requires and since I just prefer them to have a slightly messed up mentor mentor dynamic, Slade never groomed Tara. Or at least not that kind of grooming. He still probably wasn’t the best to her but nothing romantic or sexual ever happened. He treated her and saw her just like the rest of his kids so whilst she’d still have issues because of him, it won’t be those kind of issues.
Once Grant came back to life he decided not to reconnect with his family because whilst he did miss Joey, this was his chance to have a life completely separate from his parents and he wasn’t going to pass that up. Mostly he just hung out with his old pall Jade and did jobs with her until Jason showed up.
Jason met Tara first and when he gave her his sales pitch she was living with Slade, Tanya, Rose and Poppy. She’d just gotten into a fight with Slade and took up Jason’s offer because he promised health insurance, dental, free food, living in the Chamber of All where no one but Jason and S’ara could get to, and getting magic swords by the end of it which she could brag about to Rose sounded like a pretty good deal. However, after her many bad experiences she isn’t exactly the most trusting person so gave him a fake name - Rocky. (I know it’s silly but if she used Terra as an alias, Rocky isn’t completely out of the question.)
When he gave the pitch to Grant, Grant said he’d go if he got payed and after being Red Hood for a while Jason had gotten a lot of money he mostly just spent on reinvesting in Gotham but still had more than he knew what to do with. He figured rebuilding the all caste was a good enough goal to spend money on so agreed and Grant joined the team.
From there they take a while to get along with each other. They take even longer to figure out who everyone is. Grant never heard of Tara and Jason only heard bits and pieces from Dick when he’d visit but Dick never talked a lot about her because either she’d already betrayed them or was just a plain headache to deal with. Grant died before Jason became Robin so would only know him as the Red hood guy whose friends with Jade’s ex and Tara would have probably only heard about Jason through Rose. Granted she wasn’t paying that much attention. Whilst they all vaguely know the others are capes too, no one actually bothered to mention their identities so it takes Tara inviting them to a family dinner for them to all figure out who the others are.
Also random things:
Terra loves to wind Grant up because he reacts more than Jason. Jason and Grant are the first to start getting along and bond over their shared interests like swords, hating Dick Grayson and some niche metal band no one else has ever heard of. Whilst Jason teaches them to meditate, Tara likes to move rocks until someone else notices. One time she made the ground she was sitting on hover up to ten feet in the air until Grant noticed (if you ask him, he’ll say he realised she was gone because it was too peaceful).
@autisticrosewilson
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Protector Masterpost
A highly trained assassin lies bound hand and foot, wounded and helpless.
His abductor: his own brother.
Bryce has never stopped searching for his missing brother. Twenty years have passed since the twelve-year-old Zach was snatched off the street, but a big brother’s duties don’t end that easily. He’s about to give up hope when he gets the news: one of his hired investigators has tracked Zach down. Bryce can finally bring him home—whether Zach likes it or not.
Zach barely remembers his childhood. Or the days when he used to fear his abductors. Now they’re his home. His family. The ones who taught him about the supernatural gift he didn’t know he possessed, and showed him how to use it for the greater good.
Bryce wants to save his brainwashed brother. Zach wants to go home. But when Zach’s employers hunt him down, they don’t have the luxury of treating each other as the enemy anymore. Now they both want the same thing:
To protect their brother.
---
Protector is a novel in the Mind Games universe—a series of standalone stories about ordinary humans with superhuman abilities and the people who want to use or destroy them. It’s got a living weapon whumpee, protective siblings, and a romantic subplot doomed to end tragically.
This story is juuuust shy of novel-length, with a planned 23 chapters. Updates three times a week. Ask to be added or removed from taglist. Or read the completed story on my Patreon—subscribers get instant access, plus twice-weekly chapters of my latest story.
Chapters Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23
(Here from a reblog? Here’s the most recent version.)
#my writing: masterpost#my writing: Mind Games#my writing: Protector#whump#whump masterpost#whump novel
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Jensen Ackles and Danneel Ackles Panel | Brighton UK (Crossroads 6), March 11, 2023
( sicparvis87 )
Jensen: IT’S ONLY SATURDAY WE GOT A WHOLE OTHER DAY, PACE YOURSELF! (to Danneel) have YOU been pacing yourself? Danneel : No! (x)
“are you ready for this?” - jensen to danneel (x)
Ok, so. Danneel’s first con was a Starfury. Jensen said she shouldn’t brag. And a bit later Jensen said he had the dancing covered. (x)
“as long as there’s no dancing i’ll be fine” “it’s okay i have that covered” (x)
“we’ve got to develop some projects currently in development” (x)
Jensen saying he’s really proud of what they’ve been doing with the Winchesters and what’s in the work. (x)
“i wanna work with the people i know i trust and who are outstanding human beings” (x)
Dream projects? Jensen: “Ruth would obviously be the star.” (Ruth is watching from the balcony.) “Oh hey, Ruth, didn’t see you there.” He wants to work with the people he trusts, outstanding human beings. (x)
Jensen: “we’ve had 15 years to weed out the bad people, I’m not sure how Mark Sheppard is still here…” (x)
Jensen just wants to work with the people he’s got to work with who are just good people. It’s gotta be grounded in love, family, a tad of humor and a little magic. (x)
“it’s gotta have heart, humour and a little bit of magic” the unofficial tagline of their company (x)
Jensen helping Danneel count for how many years they’ve been together when she started as Anael on SPN (x)
How was it working on set. Danneel struggles with how long she’s been together with Jensen. Jensen knows it would’ve been 12 seasons when she came in at 13 and is proud he knows. (x)
Jensen immediately asked “IS THAT ON THE GAG REEL” when Danneel fell during her first scene on SPN (x)
“i did not act like a husband in that moment” jensen too focused on getting danneels gag reel moment on film instead of helping her (x)
Danneel put together a whole playlist for The Winchesters before they even cast anyone, and a lot of it actually made it onto the show. They chose “I’d Love To Change The World” which in the pilot FIRST. (x)
Which scene with music from The Winchesters did they like most? Danneel put together a playlist before they even cast, a lot of it made it on the show. “10 years after”/I love to change the world” (?) really set the tone. (x) But a lit of songs they wanted were too expensive to afford. On SPN, as production got more expensive, they had to stop using music so much, used more score to save money (x)
“i get to go and destroy some robots in a warehouse? i’m in. i’m easy” (x)
Jensen is easy. When he heard he gets to come on the set and destroy a bunch of robots, he was in, but doesn’t play a lot of video games. Danneel snitches that he plays Mario Cart with the kids almost daily. (x)
Jensen said he doesn't play video game anymore but Danneel said he plays Mario Kart almost everyday with the kids (x)
In his old house pre-Danneel he had a special dark room with two TVs and two couches to play Halo with his friends. (Danneel snitches again.) He plays “blue shy guy” on Mario Cart. (x)
Fan asked if Jensen plays video game and Danneel went “well you play one every day”. And Jensen went “Wordle? … BACKGAMMON?!” (The answer is Mario Kart because he plays it with the kids) (x)
help jensen is so excited to introduce his kids to his fave videos games when they’re older and he also doesn’t always let his kids win video games which danneel finds mean considering he’s competed by 6 year olds (paraphrase) (x)
“I know your next question, it’s ‘what character do I choose on Mario kart’, the answer is blue shy guy. I’m a shy guy ” (x)
Q person reccs Red Dead Redemption. Jensen really wanted The Last of Us, but when he heard Pedro got the job, he knew he had no shot. (x)
Jensen really wanted to be on The Last of Us, then he heard Pedro Pascal got the part and went “oh no he’s PERFECT” (im paraphrasing but he was nerding out ) (x)
They’re talking about recreating the music video for their anniversary. Their friend did it first as a birthday gag. So he suggested they do it “for instagram”. Danneel was like “let’s go”. and they got into a serious fight over who would be Paul Simon (x)
Danneel says they do zero work for instagram content. Q was about the music vid years ago. The Ackles’s argued who plays Chevy and who plays Paul Simon. Jensen complains about having to be the short guy again. He’s gonna get a complex. He yells for Mark to come down. (x)
Danneel telling Jensen he was so good on their anniversary video, and telling him “you were made to play Paul Simon” (x)
“it was very rare for him to be home during the week… for 15 years” (x)
He also said he was really sad his kids wouldn’t get to experience the whole ‘taking the cartridge off and having to blow on it for it to work again’ (x)
Danneel didn’t wanna be in The French Mistake bc it’s “Jensen’s thing” (x)
Karaoke. Danneel only did it once. Sang “Band of the run” and there was a very long musical interlude. It scared her so much she never did it again. Jensen went with the Dawson’s Creek gang and sang “El Paso”. (x)
Everyone put their glass down either in amazement or shock. There’s a plate in a corner of that bar with an etching how great that night was, Jensen jokes. (x)
Editor, director, actor walk into a bar, you can only buy one drink? Danneel: Editor, they can make you look good. Jensen: Would buy himself a drink. (x)
Danneel once got handed a bag with her as a doll filled with fish hooks. She blindly reached in the bag and straight into a hook. (x)
They’re talking about creepy fans, and Danneel just said “they’re not fans of the show, fans of the show don’t do these things” (x)
danneel is telling a story abt her accepting a gift off a fan of her being made into a doll out of fish hooks and she accidentally got hurt and jensen said ‘you know how much i had to PAY for that doll?!’ (x)
Weirdest thing given to Jen and Dee, someone left a dead kitten on their door step (x)
jensens talking about how performing radio company concert for the first time was a very different experience to acting or performing other peoples songs bc with those other two you interpret it your own way but it’s still other peoples words but these were his and steve’s (x)
Playing in Nashville and performing words he actually wrote himself with Steve was “next level”. Danneel adds that he was nervous and he doesn’t get nervous. (x)
“to get out there and perform something you created it’s certainly more of a vulnerability” (x)
danneel watched the concert with the kids on stageit. “they thought it was cool” (x)
The kids were pretty impressed seeing him on stage, but they see him play a lot, because he plays them songs on the piano at home all the time. (x)
their kids have watched the scoobynatural episode so many times (x)
Jensen is talking about fighting to have Dean dying while he was standing instead of how it was originally planned with Dean dying on the floor. (x)
Jensen about Dean’s death: “I don’t have to LIKE it, but I’m proud of it.” (x)
Jensen would change how they handled the Leviathans and get rid of them sooner if he got to change something (x)
What would Dean from s15 tell Dean from s4? Danneel: Beware of vampires! (x)
question about what directors inspired them the most! (Jensen’s answer has been long but he mentioned Kim Manners, Bob Singer and John Showalter) (x)
jensen ensuring he was conscious of every crew members job so that they felt like they had purpose. (x)
Kim Manners and Bob Singer, they both set the tone on the show. Micromanaged. Kim said “you’re gonna direct one day” to Jensen and it got him thinking. It was becausehe was interested in the lenses, lighting & such. (x)
Bob and Phil Sgriccia helped him a lot. Phil said “always have an answer, even if it’s wrong.” Because when you say “you pick” or “whatever” to a Q from someone working for you, you dimish the other person’s job. And you can always change your mind & that tells them you thought (x) about it, thus making their job even more important. (x)
To Danneel; how did you know he (Jensen) was THE ONE? Jensen; *cracks up* Danneel: It was on Ten Inch Hero, I always knew he was cute and all of that, but… It was one of those, we were driving back and forth, and just talking about our future, and our career (x) Danneel: I’m a girl who likes to do things first. (…) At the end of the movie, there’s a scene where I walked up to Priestly and gave him a kiss… That was NOT scripted.(x) Danneel: but obviously Jensen had read the script, he knew it wasn’t scripted. I just knew I had to do something else or it would be too late. (x)
danneel knew by the end of filming ten inch hero once they’d spent time doing long drives talking about their futures and everything and then in the scene where she kisses priestly wasn’t scripted and jensen was like “oh!!!!!! i caught a BIG fish let’s go!” (x) “i like your talent your cute your-” “you were like this one can give me good kids” “yeah i saw you with your nephews and-“ “and you were like this is a good pedigree!” (x)
J-yeah but after we dated when did you know I was the one to marry They went on vacation and her mum knew then D needed to marry him. J-i knew I needed to spend the rest of my life impressing her (x)
When did Danneel know that Jensen was the one? They were friends before but thought they would never be together. They carpooled to the Ten Inch Hero set. 40 mins each way, just talking about the future, how they were raised, carreer… (x) She always knew Jensen was cute, but those talks really did it. In the last scene of the movie, the little kiss between their characters wasn’t scripted, that was Danneel making the first move. (x) Jensen immediately knew it was a big fish snd went “bzzzz” (reeling in noise). Jensen prods when she knew he was the one to marry though. They went on a family trip. Then Jensen knew he’d spend the rest of his life trying to impress her. Danneel’s mom knew they were it too. (x)
Jensen: “I’m gonna try to impress for the rest of my life… Still hasn’t done it! I’m gonna keep trying to.” (x)
Danneel said she was really nervous up until she did her first photo ops and everyone was so nice to her (x)
( MurielFPhotos )
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Love Like Ghosts (Chapter 3) - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic
You knew the empty house in a quiet neighborhood was too good to be true, but you were so desperate to get out of your tiny apartment that you didn't care, and now you find yourself sharing space with something inhuman and immensely powerful. As you struggle to coexist with a ghost whose intentions you're unsure of, you find yourself drawn unwillingly into the upside world of spirits and conjurers, and becoming part of a neighborhood whose existence depends on your house staying exactly as it is, forever. But ghosts can change, just like people can. And as your feelings and your ghost's become more complex and intertwined, everything else begins to crumble. (cross-posted to Ao3)
Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
Chapter 3
There’s something wrong with your house, but you knew that when you bought it. Except now you know damn well that the thing that’s wrong with it isn’t the house itself – it’s what’s in it. What was put in it. What’s stuck in it. “In most hauntings, ghosts are summoned from the world between by conjurers, whether they like it or not,” Aizawa says. “These ghosts are bound unwillingly to specific locations and left to haunt them as they see fit. Eri was this type of ghost.”
“So’s Himiko,” Jin says. He pauses. “I think.”
“So was Magne,” Spinner adds. “She didn’t like it here.”
“Can’t she go back?” you ask.
Aizawa shakes his head. “Once a ghost has been summoned and bound, there’s only one way out,” he says – but he doesn’t tell you what that way is. Of course. “As I said, in most cases, the ghosts are bound to their haunts unwillingly. The ghosts who came willingly are the ones to be scared of.”
You’re smart enough to catch the implication. Most of the ghosts in the neighborhood didn’t want to be here. “You think Tomura did.”
��A ghost of his strength could have resisted the summons, and killed the conjurer who made it,” Aizawa says. “Your ghost is here because he chose to be.”
“Which is way we brought you to old man Aizawa,” Jin says. Aizawa, who’s not actually that old, rolls his eyes. “He’s got one of those, too.”
Not Eri. It’s not Eri, and Shinsou’s not a ghost, so – “Your husband’s a ghost?”
“He was a ghost,” Aizawa corrects. He looks even more tired than before. “I suppose it’ll be easiest to tell you what happened. It’ll cut down on the useless questions you’ll undoubtedly ask. My husband Hizashi was summoned form the world between two hundred and nineteen years ago, to haunt an opera house that was being built –”
Aizawa’s husband was a very powerful ghost, he says. He could have resisted the summons, but he didn’t, and he spent a hundred and fifty years terrorizing the opera house and everyone who set foot in it before the last person who owned it burnt it to the ground on purpose. “That was a mistake,” Aizawa says. “Destroying a haunt releases the ghost to wander. Releasing a ghost like Hizashi is – unwise.”
“Look up the opera ghost murders,” Spinner stage-whispers. You glance back at him. “Let’s just say Hizashi spent a lot of time embodied.”
Tomura’s words flash through your head: I can’t get it from you or the dog. You’d die. You stare at Aizawa. “Your husband killed people?”
“People who deserved it. Or people he felt deserved it,” Aizawa says. His voice is flat. “Ghosts aren’t human. They don’t think like humans do. Their sense of right and wrong is accordingly – skewed.”
“Sometimes Papa killed people who hurt other people,” Eri says. “Sometimes he killed people who were mean to their waiters. But that was before he met Dad.”
You’re still stuck a few sentences back, slowly piecing something together. “The energy doesn’t last long when they’re – embodied,” you say, stumbling on the word. “Your ghosts are just killing people all the time?”
“No,” Aizawa says shortly. “The ghosts in this neighborhood, excepting yours, are former ghosts. They no longer have that power.”
“We’re people now. We don’t need it,” Eri explains to you. She looks back to Aizawa. “Tell how you met Papa!”
Aizawa sighs. “My current job is as an author. Prior to this, I was an investigative journalist. My specialty was exposés, and I often took risks to ensure the truth came to light. During this time, unbeknownst to me, I caught Hizashi’s attention. He began watching me, following me – helping me, although our definitions of helpfulness diverged more often than not. His word for it was ‘haunting’.”
That’s Tomura’s word for it, too. A shiver runs down your spine. “On my last assignment, I was investigating corruption in the police force,” Aizawa says. “While I discovered plenty of it, I also discovered something worse – a serial murderer, using his role in law enforcement to conceal his crimes. I knew that no one would believe me unless I brought them incontrovertible proof. I took appropriate precautions, or so I thought, then confronted him to force a confession.”
“And it didn’t work,” you guess.
Aizawa’s fingers trace a scar under his right eye in a movement that almost looks unconscious. “It didn’t go as planned,” he says. “I was badly injured. If Hizashi hadn’t intervened, I would have been killed. As it was, I fell unconscious. When I woke up in the hospital three days later, Hizashi was there. Alive.”
“Not a ghost anymore,” you clarify. Aizawa nods. “How?”
“Ghosts can embody themselves permanently if they kill someone and take the complete measure of their life-force,” Aizawa says. “That’s what Hizashi did, and Eri. That’s what they all did.”
Eri killed someone. You glance at her, more than a little creeped out, and find her smiling a gap-toothed smile. “I had to,” she says. Her pupils open and shut again. “She was hurting Hitoshi. She made him cry.”
“Did you mean it?” you ask lamely.
“To be people?” Eri frowns for a moment. “I must have. Or it wouldn’t have worked.”
“The embodiment thing doesn’t just happen,” Jin says. “They don’t just trip and fall – like, whoops, I’m embodied now! They have to want it.”
“They have to want it more than they want anything else,” Aizawa says. “More than they’ve ever wanted anything else in all their existence. It’s not something that happens often.”
“Which is a good thing,” Spinner puts in. “Because once you’ve got one, you’ve got it for life.”
So every ghost – former ghost – in the neighborhood had at least a split second where they wanted to be human. “If a ghost who was summoned unwillingly becomes human, their contract with the conjurer who summoned them is broken,” Aizawa says. “The conjurers often come back to exact punishment, and while a ghost in this world has significant power, most permanently embodied ghosts have roughly the same power as a human.”
“Papa’s strong,” Eri argues.
“I said ‘most’,” Aizawa reminds her. “When Eri’s conjurer came for her, Hizashi’s residual abilities allowed us to defeat him. But Hizashi’s conjurer, should he reappear, would pose a significant threat. Every family in this neighborhood is under a similar threat.”
“Which is why we’re all here,” Spinner says. “The ghost in your house is so strong that his presence hides the rest of us completely. If Atsuhiro’s conjurer or Himiko’s or Hizashi’s looked here for them, they wouldn’t be able to find them. All they’d see is your ghost.”
“That’s why we all want to meet him so bad,” Jin says. “He’s the boss! The baddest guy around! And we owe him, see? If not for him, they’d find us, easy.”
You look at their faces, Eri and Jin and Spinner. They all look pretty enthusiastic at the prospect of your ghost. Nothing like the way you feel when you think about him, some weird mix of gratefulness and comfort and confusion and fear. You look away from them, to Aizawa. He doesn’t look sad, exactly. Not resigned, either. But when he looks at you, you get the sense that he understands it. He’s been where you are, or somewhere like it, and suddenly you’re intensely grateful to Jin for bringing you here. You aren’t crazy for having mixed feelings about your ghost. Aizawa had them, maybe still has them, too.
“This information, while interesting, is ultimately irrelevant to you,” Aizawa says. You didn’t want to say it, but he’s right. “I imagine you’re more interested in how to handle your interactions with – Tomura, was it?”
You nod. “He hasn’t hurt me. I don’t think he wants to hurt me. But I don’t think he knows what he wants.”
“That’s likely. For all his power, he doesn’t seem to have much experience actually haunting anyone,” Aizawa says. “The fact that the house stood empty for so long suggests that he’s selective, and the actions he’s taken suggest that he has an interest in keeping you appeased. That gives you leverage.”
“You kind of need that,” Spinner says. “Like Aizawa said, they don’t get right and wrong like we do. Magne thought all kinds of shit was okay at first. It gets better if they’re embodied, but since yours isn’t gonna do that, you’ll have to explain a lot.”
“Frame the situation in terms of how the action you want the ghost to take will benefit the ghost,” Aizawa says. “For instance, if you want privacy, explain how respecting your privacy will increase your comfort in the house and make you more likely to stay there. Avoid asking him to do things.”
“Like asking him not to stare at me while I sleep?”
“No,” Aizawa says. “Avoid asking him to undertake tasks for you. The means he’ll use to achieve them will likely be unpleasant.”
You think of the coyote. All you needed was for it to leave, but Tomura basically tore its head off. “I don’t need him to do anything,” you say. “Just to leave me alone.”
“Sorry, sister. That’s not happening,” Jin says, and your heart sinks. “That house has been empty ever since we moved in. He’s been waiting for somebody to haunt this whole time, and he picked you. You’re his now. He told Himiko so.”
“Magne said she got the same vibe,” Spinner adds. “It’s not so bad, having a ghost. Think of it like having a really good roommate, or a best friend –”
“Or the coolest little sister ever,” Jin adds, grinning. “All the best people I know used to be dead!”
“I’m not dead! Take that back,” Eri protests. “I’m just your kind of alive now. And it’s the best kind of alive. There are flavors. And tastes –”
Spinner asks Eri what kind of tastes she likes best, and that sets all three of them off. You look back at Aizawa, who’s studying you with that same flat look in his eyes. “I don’t think mine wants a best friend,” you say.
“Mine didn’t,” Aizawa says. You wonder how he ended up married to his ghost, raising kids with his ghost. If that was really what he wanted. If he ever had a choice. “I don’t think so, either.”
When you head back to your house, it’s with an armful of books and a low, heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Phantom greets you cheerfully the instant you latch the gate behind you. You wonder how she got out when you know you left her inside, but the answer comes to you almost ahead of the question. Tomura must have let her out. He’s watched the whole process play out hundreds of times by now – Phantom going to the door, aiming sad looks your way, crying until you open it – and he did exactly what you do. You remember Aizawa’s admonition against asking Tomura to do things. You didn’t ask for this, and he did it anyway.
He materializes the instant you close the front door. “Where did you go? You were gone for hours.”
“I went to see the neighbors,” you say. His eyes flash. “To ask them about you.”
Now he looks confused. “Why didn’t you ask me about me?”
“Because you might lie, and I needed the truth.” You wait to see if Tomura will argue, but he doesn’t. “They had a lot to say.”
“What did they say about me?”
“They said you’re strong,” you say. Tomura goes from suspicious to proud of himself in about two seconds flat. “That’s why they moved here. You’re so strong that you can hide them from the people who summoned them.”
“It’s their fault they need to hide. They embodied themselves, like idiots.” Tomura at least sounds like he’s against permanent embodiment, which is a relief for you. “They can stay. I don’t care. As long as you stay.”
“I can stay,” you allow. You think of what Aizawa said and give one of his negotiating tactics a try. “I’ll be a lot more comfortable staying here if you give me some space.”
“Space,” Tomura repeats. “What kind of space?”
“When I’m in the bathroom. Humans like being alone in there,” you say. He nods. “And at night when I’m sleeping. We like to be alone then, too.”
“Not everybody,” Tomura argues. “In those movies –”
“I’m not going to watch any more movies if you keep getting dumb ideas from them.” You ignore the affronted sound Tomura makes. “Life isn’t like movies. I like to be alone when I’m sleeping.”
“I don’t like it.”
“Do you sleep?” You should have asked Aizawa about things like that.
“I don’t sleep. Sleeping is for humans,” Tomura says. You raise your eyebrows and he scowls. “It sounds nice when you sleep. I can’t hear it if I’m not in your room.”
“What sounds nice?” You’re not a sleep-talker, and nobody’s ever told you that you snore. “What kind of noises am I making? Are they weird?”
“I don’t know,” Tomura snaps. “I don’t know what noises humans are supposed to make when they’re sleeping. They don’t sound weird to me. They’re just – nice.”
You decide to set up your phone to record tonight, just to figure out what kind of sounds you’re making. And then you’ll buy a white-noise machine so this doesn’t happen again. This isn’t working. Maybe you need to try something else. “I’m not fun to hang out with when I’m sleeping,” you say. “Why don’t we hang out more when I’m awake and I can talk to you?”
His red eyes light up. Part of you wants to call his excitement childish, but you’ve felt that way as an adult. Aizawa says that ghosts materialize or embody or whatever you’re supposed to call it at the equivalent human age. Tomura’s an adult by ghost standards. You have to interact with him like one. “Well?”
“I need more life,” Tomura says. “I killed all your mushrooms in the front yard. Find me something else and I’ll – hang out with you. You are boring when you sleep.”
“I’ll find something,” you say. You can see that Tomura’s starting to fade, and you move to end the conversation before he can freak out again. “Thanks for letting Phantom out. I’ll see you soon.”
“Soon,” Tomura says. He doesn’t look happy, but he’s not angry. As long as he’s not throwing a fit, you’ll take it.
Once he’s faded completely, you take out your phone and text the newly formed group chat that has the numbers of every human in the neighborhood old enough to have a phone. Jin’s renamed it eight times already. Right now it’s “ghost friends anonymous”. You text it with a request: If you all catch bugs in your houses, bring them to my house. I need them.
So you can talk to him? Keigo texts back first. Wish I’d thought of that when it was me. No problem. Bug buffet coming right up.
Shinsou responds next. Can we leave them on your porch? Dad says not to go up there.
You’ve got my permission, you say, even though you and everybody else knows it’s not your permission that counts. And his, once I tell him what they’re for.
The cold spot settles around your shoulders and you startled badly. You’ve walked through Tomura by accident before, and he must not have liked it, either, because he stays out of your way when you’re on the move. But he’s here now, not sinking through you but wrapped around you. “Don’t,” you say aloud. “I’ll get a chill.”
Tomura stays there a moment longer, probably just to prove he can. Then he slips away, leaving you with the worst case of goosebumps you’ve ever had and a feeling you don’t like in the pit of your stomach. You’ve got a ghost in your house – fine. It’s not being a ghost that makes him an asshole.
Tomura’s an asshole, but he must want to hang out with you more than he wants to spy on you, because the bathroom’s empty except for you when you shower before bed. And for the first time in weeks, you fall asleep in an empty room.
Your bug idea works out pretty well. Every day you find at least five or six jars on your porch with holes drilled into the lids and spiders or ants or wasps rattling around inside, trying to escape. Two jars of bugs buys Tomura five minutes of complete materialization, but he’s starting to get smart about things, only materializing what he needs for a given interaction. A pair of hands to throw the ball for Phantom. His head and shoulders when he’s talking to you. His whole body, barely visible, when the neighbors come over to the house to drop off the day’s catch.
The first ones to come by are Jin and Himiko, and Himiko shrieks in excitement when she sees Tomura’s shadow on the front porch. “It’s you!” she squeals. “You’re so cute!”
“I’m not cute,” Tomura says, disgusted. Then he looks at you. “What’s cute?”
“Not you,” you say, and he breathes a sigh of relief. Even though he can’t breathe. It’s weird-looking for sure. “Jin, Himiko, this is Tomura. He’s, uh –”
“The boss!” Jin flashes a double thumbs-up. “The king of the neighborhood! Frankly, my dude, you terrify me.”
Jin’s mood switches stopped being weird to you a long time ago, but Tomura’s not used to him yet. “What’s wrong with it?” he mutters.
“Nothing’s wrong with him! Don’t make fun of my humans,” Himiko says. She smiles with her sharp teeth and ghost-blinks a few times. “I don’t make fun of your human. Even though she wears the same shirt three times a week.”
“It’s my favorite shirt,” you protest. “It’s comfy. And I wash it in between.”
“My human wears what it wants to wear,” Tomura says. You don’t have the heart to correct him on the pronouns.
And you don’t have to – somebody else does it for you, when Shinsou stops by with a bug delivery two afternoons later. He’s not alone, but it’s not Aizawa with him. It’s a blond man with a tiny mustache and bright green eyes, and he’s standing as far away from Shinsou as humanly possible without letting go of Shinsou’s hand. “I admire the ingenuity, but this is gross,” he says, projecting his voice ridiculously loud with seemingly no effort. Then he looks up at you and smiles. “Hey there. Shou’s told me all about you. The name’s Hizashi.”
“Aizawa told me about you, too.” You’ve met almost all the ghosts in the neighborhood already, but this is your first time seeing Hizashi, and something about him makes you nervous. Maybe it’s just what you know about his backstory, or maybe you’re worried he’s going to come up here and give Tomura ideas about things he can do with his human. “Tomura, this is Hizashi. He lives up the street.”
“I know who he is,” Tomura says. He’s more visible now than he was a second ago. “Back off. You’re scaring it.”
“It?” Hizashi repeats. “Most humans don’t go by ‘it’, friend. That’s a she. Your human’s a woman.”
“Huh?” Tomura looks at you, looks you up and down in a way that makes you really uncomfortable. “How can you tell?”
“You could ask,” Hizashi says, unruffled. He turns his attention to Shinsou. “You’re sure you have to go up there? Spooky McScarface doesn’t look too friendly.”
“I don’t touch other people’s humans,” Tomura says. He studies Shinsou as Shinsou comes up to the porch and sets his jar down on the first step. “Which kind are you?”
“I’m a guy,” Shinsou says. Tomura keeps staring at him. “The opposite of a girl. Not a girl. Most humans are guys or girls. Men or women. I’m a guy. Your human’s a girl.”
“Whatever,” Tomura says. Shinsou sets down the bugs and backs away toward the front gate. You’d elbow Tomura if he was embodied. When you elbow him anyway, your elbow goes numb from the cold. “I’m supposed to say thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Hizashi says. He yanks Shinsou back through the gate and hurries him up the street. “We’ll be back! Enjoy your worms.”
They’ve given you a lot of worms. “This is great,” you say. “Maybe we can get through a whole movie on these. What do you think?”
You glance at Tomura and find him mostly dematerialized, lost in thought. “You’re a girl,” he says. You nod. “What am I?”
“Whatever you want to be, I guess,” you say. “You look like a guy, though. Your voice sounds like a guy’s voice, and you don’t have – um –”
You gesture at your breasts, which is a mistake. Now he’s looking at them. “Would you rather be a girl?”
“No,” Tomura says decisively. “I don’t like girls that much.”
Tomura’s understanding of gender probably still has a couple of big holes in it, but you decide to steer off the topic for now and count yourself lucky that it wasn’t worse. It’s not until you’re trying to fall asleep in your still-empty room that you realize what Tomura actually said – that he doesn’t like girls enough to want to be one, not that he doesn’t like girls at all. You thought you were off the hook. It turns out your ghost is straight.
You text Aizawa in a fit of pique. Your husband taught my ghost how to like girls.
Your ghost already liked girls. Now he has words to explain it. Aizawa’s typing bubble appears, then vanishes. Trust me, it helps.
You’re not all that sure that it does, but after a week or so of normal behavior from Tomura, you decide that it’s probably not a disaster. Whatever Hizashi told him, it’s not anywhere as bad as what Tomura’s getting out of the movies he watches with you.
You’ve been trying to be careful about what you show him, but you learn pretty quickly that he can get something weird out of whatever he watches. Tomura is shockingly observant, picking up on stuff that even you don’t notice, but he almost invariably draws the wrong conclusions about whatever he’s caught on to. That’s fine when you’re watching sci-fi. Not fine when you’re watching a romcom.
“No,” you say to Tomura for the fifth time. You feel like you’re talking to Phantom. “That’s not good. He shouldn’t be doing that.”
“Why not? He wants to protect her and she’s being stupid.”
You agree she’s being stupid, but – “He’s scaring her,” you say. Tomura blinks. He doesn’t blink like the embodied ghosts do. He blinks like a human does. “It’s scary for someone to grab you, or to block you in a corner and not let you leave. People who care about you don’t scare you.”
Tomura’s quiet for a little bit. You’re just picking up the remote to unpause the movie when he speaks again. “Do I scare you?”
“Right now? No.”
“So you’ve been scared of me before,” Tomura says. Sometimes you can get away with lying to him, but not right now. You keep quiet, and he takes it how you meant it. And he’s pissed. “Why would you be scared of me? I didn’t do anything to you. I helped you –”
“Humans are scared of things we don’t understand,” you say. Tomura studies you, scratching the side of his neck. He’s not materialized enough for it to show, which is good. You hate seeing the scrapes appear. “It’s normal.”
“The others say their humans weren’t ever scared of them.”
“Their humans were kids,” you say. “I’m not.”
You haven’t run your theory by Aizawa yet, but you’re still pretty sure you’re right. Jin, Shinsou, and Spinner were all kids when they met their ghosts, and their ghosts were there for them when nobody else was. You’ve heard the stories of how they met in bits and pieces, but you know Himiko protected Jin and Jin’s siblings from their abusive dad – and killed him to embody herself when he took it too far. Eri told you what she did to the foster sibling who hurt Shinsou. Spinner hasn’t told you how he met his ghost yet, but you feel like it’s probably something similar. They were all kids, and their ghosts were their best friends before they became human. They didn’t think about it any more than that.
You and Aizawa were older. You can’t speak to whatever brought Aizawa to Hizashi’s attention, but you went out of your way to make sure your house wasn’t haunted and wound up with a seriously haunted house anyway. When Tomura killed the coyote to protect you and Phantom, you were grateful, and you said so – but your next thought was about how easily that same violence could be turned against you. You’re an adult. You don’t trust easily. Of course you’re wary of the insanely powerful ghost in your house. Who wouldn’t be?
Tomura’s still studying you. “How do I make you – not?”
“You can’t make me do anything,” you say. Tomura rolls his eyes. “Don’t do that. You asked.”
“And you didn’t answer. How do I make you stop being scared of me?”
“You can’t,” you say, which is probably the stupidest answer you’ve given to any question ever, even if it’s true. “Why do you want me not to be scared of you? You’re supposed to be haunting me. Don’t you want to act like a ghost?”
Tomura vanishes, which is about as close to a fuck-you as it gets. You resign yourself to a rough night and settle in for the rest of the movie. In retrospect, daring your ghost to actually haunt you was a really bad idea.
You haven’t shown Tomura any horror movies, but you watched a few before you knew he was watching them with you, and over the next few hours, he pulls every trick he must have seen in them. The lights flicker. The house fills itself with weird sounds, creaks and screeches and moans, and the hallways warp before your eyes as you try to walk through them. If you had to guess, you’d say Tomura wants you to beg him to stop, but you’re not going to do that. You brush your teeth, ignoring the way the water from the faucet runs read and the creepy shadow behind the shower door. You check your closet, ignoring the pair of feet very obviously sticking out below the racks of clothes, and pick up your feet to avoid the hands that grasp at your ankles as you try to get into bed. Then your bed starts to rattle, like he’s grabbed it by the post and started shaking it around.
And that, of all things, is what makes you lose patience. “You suck at haunting things.”
Tomura’s voice issues from beneath the bed. “Maybe you just suck at being haunted.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” You suck at all of this, and all the time you spend trying to solve your ghost problem has been sapping your focus at work. Mr. Yagi’s nice about it, but he can’t be nice forever. “I didn’t ask for this. You did.”
Your bed rattles again, harder than before, then goes still. “No, I didn’t.”
“Don’t lie. I know how this works. A ghost as strong as you –”
“I wasn’t always strong.” A scratching sound emanates from beneath the bed. Not only is Tomura still down there, he’s materialized fully enough that you can hear him scratching his neck. Why would he waste that kind of energy? “I didn’t want to come here. Master made me. I couldn’t get back.”
Master – his conjurer. It must be. But Aizawa says that ghosts are strong or weak, that their powers don’t grow or increase, and all the former ghosts agree. If Tomura started out weak enough to be summoned unwillingly, how did he get strong enough to hide an entire neighborhood of former ghosts? “I don’t understand.”
“So I bet you’re extra scared now.”
Tomura’s voice is bitter, mocking. But you can still hear the scratching, and before you can think better of it, you sit up and slide off your bed. When you’re lying flat on the floor, you can see into the darkness beneath the bed and make out Tomura’s red eyes, his pale skin, the scraped-raw spots on the side of his neck. “Hey, don’t do that,” you say quietly, and he scoffs. “It looks like it hurts.”
“Things don’t hurt. There’s feelings or not-feelings. I don’t care either way.”
“If you don’t care either way, then stop,” you say. Tomura scoffs again. “I’ll prove it’s different. Hold your hand out.”
He holds out the hand he’s not scratching with, like an asshole, but maybe you can use that. If he’s still scratching, the contrast will be obvious. You reach for Tomura’s hand with both of yours and hold it still. Part of you is expecting your hands to sink through and meet in the middle, but Tomura’s hand is real enough to touch. His skin is rough and ice-cold.
Tomura stops scratching the instant your hands enclose his. You’re tempted to call attention to it and gloat over being right, but it feels like it would be the wrong thing to do. It’s banter, and this doesn’t feel like banter. It feels like something else. You don’t think too hard about what that something is.
Tomura’s not thinking about it, either, but that’s because Tomura’s an asshole. “It only feels different because your hands aren’t moving.”
“You want me to move my hands? Fine.” You turn Tomura’s hand over and run the pads of your fingers lightly over his palm, noting as you do that his palm is completely unlined. He doesn’t have fingerprints, either. You notice that when you trace the length of one of his fingers, and then the next, and the next after that. But if you ignore that, and you ignore the cold, Tomura’s hand is just a hand. You match your palm to his, then run your fingers down the length of his all at once. It’s just a hand. It could be anyone’s.
Tomura yanks his hand free of yours and vanishes for the second time tonight, leaving you sprawled out on the floor of your room, staring into the now-empty space under your bed. It occurs to you to be embarrassed, but this isn’t even close to the dumbest thing you’ve done because of the ghost in your house. You lay there for a second, wondering how long it’ll take for Tomura to get whatever stupid thing he’s doing out of his system, and then climb back up into bed.
Tomura’s sitting there, cross-legged, both hands up over his face. “What was that?” he asks. Usually when he asks you questions like that, it’s a demand, but it sounds different this time. “Why did you do that to me?”
“I was proving a point.” Were you, though? Suddenly you aren’t sure. “Get off my bed.”
“Never do that again,” Tomura says. His shoulders are rising and falling fast, like he’s breathing hard. “Never! I don’t want to feel like this!”
“Like what?” you ask, but now he’s fading – not dematerializing, fading. He’s run out of energy, and he won’t be back tonight, unless he changes his mind and decides you and Phantom are fair game as far as living batteries go. “Fine. You started this. Don’t play your stupid games with me anymore.
The lights flicker on, then off, then on again. You roll over, press your face into your pillow, and fall asleep.
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