#((if i write out my thoughts anywhere though i'll probably post it to my art blog first and then reblog it here))

[abyssembraced]

((Thinking about Ghost in a Hollow Knight musical again because of that headcanon generator,,,))

[olderthannetfic]

I'm so, so tired of seeing proshippers try to support proshippers getting sent death threats, rape threats, suicide bait, etc. with "don't let the assholes win!" Oh so you don't give a shit about the minor being dogpiled, this is just about an us vs. them thing. Cool cool. Uh, here's the thing, though - maybe the person on the other side of the screen is a person, and thus this "SPITE! Write more out of SPITE and HATE and HATE HARDER THAN THE HATERS!" is going out to a normal-ass human being. And normal-ass human beings are not shounen protagonists who rise up and overcome their rivals out of spite and make a bunch of friends along the way and live for the rivalry yadda yadda. They're just... people. And you're responding to their pain with, "if you take a break from writing you're letting other people win. You're losing. You're failing. Breaks are loser behavior. You're LETTING the people harassing you win, because you suck."

Recently two major authors in my tiny fandom quit and the response from the proship contingency of the fandom has been, "FIGHT THE ANTIS!" "Don't let them win!" and I'm at a loss trying to explain this but like... some people don't want their hobby to be fighting other people. Some people didn't start writing in order to go "I'll show them!" they started writing because they had a cool idea for a story they wanted to tell. Not all of us enjoy "tormenting the antis through good art", to quote one person in my fandom. Sometimes someone just wants to write a story and share it with other people and have people enjoy it.

It's really wild to be the odd one out here but am I the only one who sees "don't let them win! spite! spite should motivate you!" and goes, "I was a depressed teen once and I think that wouldn't have motivated me to do anything"? Because seriously, the fact that no one has expressed anything along the lines of 'you didn't deserve that hate' or 'I hope you're okay' or 'take care of yourself' would probably have made me feel worse as a teen, not better.

IDK, maybe I'm the freak for thinking this is not an optimal approach. I just fail to see this as an inspiring refrain to throw at younger people in fandom. It feels fairly hollow.

(And to the fandom olds about to go "fandom was even worse back in my day, you kids would never have survived" - you realize that's worse, right? That doesn't rebut anything, it just makes me sad for you in addition to young writers. Maybe fandom always sucking is a problem, not a plus. Just a thought.)

--

This particular type of death threat wasn't common back then... but neither is what you describe, in my experience. People who are adjacent to a target often do say more empathetic things, and a fair amount of the "respond with spite" is not to someone leaving over death threats but to more commonplace annoyances that are going to occur at one's local writer's circle and anywhere else.

No, self-styled "proship" circles aren't particularly nice a lot of the time, but this hand-wringing is silly.

Besides, why are you sending me nagging posts projecting onto Olds instead of support? ;)

(I know, I know: it's because I actually am a shounen protagonist.)

[autumnslance]

Writing To Yourself

(Mileage may vary, I'm not your mom nor your teacher--unless you're working for a specific state healthcare service, anyway.)

That's how you garden. Tend the plot. Plant a million seeds, reap a thousand blooms. The rest? Compost for the next crop. -@biot08 / @driftward

During a Discord convo, I thought about why so many fandom writers catch “writer’s block”, and some of it goes back to self-care and taking in new media, getting inspiration and knowledge, covered in this post. But much of it?

People think everything they create has to be publishable for others’ consumption. That is Not True. Too often we don't want to write things just for the sake of writing them, falling into the trap of thinking it needs to be perfectly polished and shared, but No It Really Doesn't.

Folks talk about “writing for oneself” but in terms of posting finished pieces of the kinds they want to see. If everything feels like it “has to be” publishable, it can start to put too much pressure on oneself. And then there’s your block, especially if the type to worry about how others Perceive you and your art.

Try simply writing anything and deciding later if it's something you want to share. I have pieces I wrote cuz my brain suddenly said it wanted to, but that writing isn't posted anywhere. Usually it’s random lines; out of context sentences, scenes, or bits of dialogue. Sometimes just incoherent character rambling. Ideas for situations and what ifs. Misspelled, typos, not grammatical, redundant wording, passive voice, bad POV, too many adverbs, not enough active verbs, not enough description, too much description, etc. All in notebooks or doc files. I’ve shared the (now out-dated) deep nests of my WIPs folders and the multiple, unfinished, unpolished pieces within them. Most will never be completed nor seen by the public. 

For instance, I've a random smut fic of a Highlander Warrior of Light and the popular antagonist of Shadowbringers. I'm not usually a villain liker, but one day it hit my brain, so I wrote it. I have notes and outlines for the rest of their story and how it plays out, though I'll probably never write more. I scratched the writing itch, stretched some skills, considered things from a different angle, and now it sits in drafts (I did post a couple decent-ish smut lines to my private Twitter once).

Mostly, it's practice. Even if it's junk and janky.

“But I have (professionally) published X or Y…”

Still gotta exercise the writing muscles! Still gotta scrawl off something utterly unusable now and again for the heck of it!

All those random lines, descriptions, scenes, rambles? Maybe I'll use them someday. I wrote them down to feel the pen in my hand or keys clacking under my fingers, to see the words pop onto the page or screen, to play with word choice, sentence structures, and “how would they say that?” For my own satisfaction, no one else’s.

When I get bored or stuck, or need a screenshot or writing prompt response, I might poke at those lines, pages, rambles, and see if they hit now or spin off to something else. They often don’t. But sometimes they help inform other things I do post to the public later. Even if that’s just a Question of the Day prompt response on Twitter.

(That also counts as writing and creating btw; you’re still coming up with something to share about your characters and I think that’s very creative of you.)

If the mood strikes, write. Even if it's just a vague idea--especially if it's any bits of dialogue or description, if it's something you think that you actually do want to write when off work or out of bed or whatever.

Even if you never post it anywhere public. Even if it never gets out of crummy first draft, unfinished pages form. It might feel like pulling teeth and look rough, especially if it’s been awhile.

But still write it. No one else has to know or see. Not until you want them to.

Maybe parts of it will inform something you do finish later. Maybe two years from now another prompt will hit just right and you’ll dig out that draft and finish it for posting. Maybe you’ll cannibalize aspects of it for an entirely different piece. Maybe you’ll even use it in a few more years to see how far you’ve come as a writer.

In many cases? That's how you actually keep writer's block away. Keeping ideas around to steal from yourself, letting yourself write nonsense, unpublishable bits and pieces, maybe even whole pages, just for the heck of it, if writing is something one enjoys and wants to stick with as a hobby (or professionally). If you don’t enjoy writing for fun? Don’t force it; do little character prompts and blurbs as they feel right, and find the ways to share creativity that work for you.

And seriously, don’t forget to take in new media, experiences, and information. This is How You Lose the Time War got me writing on an original story I shelved last autumn. The stories aren't at all alike! But seeing new words in new ways helped shake something loose in my brain. So try to make some time for that, too.

Write to yourself, not for others’ consumption. Public posting is great for validation and encouragement, for when we feel the urge to share due to pride or just wanting to gush about our faves. But also let yourself remember why you liked creating worlds, making up stuff about your characters, and writing at all to begin with, without the pressure of public posting. Give yourself some grace, and let it all be messy, unhinged, misspelled, ungrammatical, incomplete, and make no narrative sense.

Write to yourself, for yourself. Then let the rest follow.

[sarandipitywrites]

saran's year of writing (2023)

hey y'all! saw a couple posts like this floating around and thought i'd hop on the train, because this year has been WILD for my writing (in a really good way). let's start with the bullet points version and i'll put the details under the cut. here we go:

I JOINED WRITEBLR

shared snippets of my work with other, actual humans!

made friends?!

started (and finished!) draft 2 of Dead Roots, Dark Water

wrote 1 short story for every week in october (that's 5 stories in a month! that's great for me!)

first NaNoWriMo in 10 years (and i finished it!)

drafted and re-drafted The Art of Empty Space

started draft 3 of Dead Roots, Dark Water

details, links to projects, me getting maybe a tad too personal, and those all-important wordcounts under the cut:

I JOINED WRITEBLR

i just realized i only started participating at the beginning of october, but it feels like i've been hanging out with you all the whole year 😅 maybe that means i should cut back a bit? nah...

really though, this year was the year i started taking my writing more seriously (not in a 'gotta get published' kind of way, but in a 'writing makes me happier than anything else and that's enough reason to set aside time and energy for it without feeling hella guilty' kind of way) and seeing you all posting your work and being so positive and encouraging to each other was what helped me get up the nerve to join in. and i can say without a doubt that it's the best choice i've made all year. y'all are such a supportive community and i've never once felt like i was encroaching or didn't belong here (and for me, that's really saying something)

so i guess what i'm getting at is: THANK YOU! i've loved reading your snippets and projects this year, and i'm way more confident in my own than i've ever been 💜 y'all are good peeps

Dead Roots, Dark Water

word count (edited and written): 187,789

that's a lotta words! DRDW is both my longest work wordcount-wise, and the work i've dedicated the most time to... probably ever. and i'm SO happy with it, it's a little concerning (/positive)

DRDW is now on its THIRD draft, and (assuming i don't do a massive re-edit) should be ready to start posting in 2024! *excited screaming* i've never released anything i've written in its entirety (the snippets i've been posting are actually a lot more than i've ever shared before), so this is MASSIVE for me and i'm both excited and terrified! overall, though, it's a very, very good thing

Short Stories

this october, i decided to challenge myself to do several things i don't ever do: write short stories; write them on a timeline; and share them. and i did! i wrote one short story for each week in october, and posted them here. they're far from my best work, and due to the timeline, they never could have been my best, which oddly i think helped make it easier to post them? they were also the first pieces i shared here (or anywhere)! they're not awesome, but i'm proud of them and i'm proud of myself for sharing them

NaNoWriMo and The Art of Empty Space

i've done nano once before, ten years ago. i was in college and had a lot more time then (and a job where i could spend the entire day just writing - i didn't know how good i had it), and even so i remember struggling to reach my word goal. but by the power of writing everything in wingdings so i can't second-guess my word choices, i made it this year! and even though i decided to challenge myself by writing a romance-heavy project (something i've historically avoided because IT'S HARD FOR ME, DAMNIT), i love AES and its characters and that feels fucking awesome.

even though my brain decided to spring a surprise plot restructure on me and now i have to rewrite like half of it. it'll be better for it, though, so it's all good 🥲

What's Next?

my plan for early 2024 is, of course, going to be to work on draft 3 of DRDW with the hope of getting some chapters posted (they are LONG, so i'll probably post to tumblr in chunks and the full, unbroken chapters on Ao3 due to formatting). once that's ready, i'll be able to return my attention to AES and getting draft 1.5 all written up. i've mostly figured out where the plot's going there, so it'll just be writing it up to figure out the gaps. if i'm able to write something for november again next year (which i really hope i will; nano did some great things for AES), it'll probably be one of the other Jak & Daxter fics i have kicking around in my head, because i am Obsessed (and switching it up between working on fanfic and original fic seems to work well for my brain).

i've been not super active here for the last month or so because Real Life Work is kicking my ass, but hopefully that will calm down and i'll be able to do more of what i want: writing wild shit, reading your wild shit, and screaming about it together 💜

good vibes and best wishes to everybody in the new year 🥂

[faithfromanewperspective]

It seems like no coincidence that you sent me an ask right after I had a brooding session that led to me wanting to send you an ask. Here we are 🤭

Mine's unrelated to music and chronic illness though: I wanted to get your view on what being Australian is to you. Who are we? What are we? I've been having this identity crisis all my life because my ancestors are immigrants from everywhere, with different cultures, and I feel like I don't belong here despite how the land has also shaped me into who I am.

Sometimes I think at the core of the culture of Australia is loneliness/isolation and I also wanted to know your take on that too.

Hope you're well, lovely 💛💛💛

ooh. wow. hmm. i'm... not doing great as you can probably tell by the time at which i'm posting this. but i surprisingly have a lot of thoughts about this.

for me, it's a connection to one of the oldest lands there is--i've studied a lot of geology, i've had to for my degree, and because of the lack of volcanic activity for so long our land, everything about it, is real old, and that's something i have a lot of respect and reverence for. i've also been drawn to Indigenous culture and Indigenous land stewardship for the longest time: the community, the spirituality, the sense of survival and justice, the shared resources, the storytelling, the art, the connection to the land. i'm not the least bit indigenous to anywhere really so i don't really know why, but you've made me realise something writing this, i should start to go seek that out a bit more and find community and stuff in it, it might be part of what i'm longing for.

diversity and a loss and reconstruction of identity is i also think part of it too. we are so diverse, aussies are from everywhere, from those who were born to a long line of stewards of this great land, to all those who came to it from everywhere: all parts of europe, asia, new zealand--everyone's family has a story of how they came here and why, of a brand new start for one generation, and everyone after having to go through putting together the fragments and figuring out who they are, reinventing it as they face new things compared to what any of their ancestors ever have. in a way it's about deciding again and again to rediscover your home culture/s and figure out how to fit them into a context of diversity, find your people or bring a new tradition to your people, but also take tradition lightly in terms of it has to fit around survival in harsh conditions, it always does, practical comes first which I'll get into but i'd say part of it is navigating the patchwork of cultures and realising yours is never going to be everyone but also no one can take it away from you, realising that because they try, but ultimately no one who does that will ever succeed. not even the colonisers who generations down have made us forget a lot of our Indigenous culture and feel empty as a result; if you're here on this land you've got some responsibility to care for it and every generation longs for something we don't quite have: this is where it's so useful to have other cultures around, because we need to learn from each other. we do so much better when we do. (alternatively, say you grew up in sydney without saying you grew up in sydney. it's a whole world there if you haven't experienced it).

but I would say that not only loneliness and isolation but also loss of identity are core to being Australian. questioning it and finding it again, being nothing like you ever imagined. there's a lot of generational trauma written into this land that's going to take quite a while to recover. we've all left it behind in the past, we've more often than not experienced some degree of violence in doing that be it from colonisation and the way the cities we have now (aussies are drawn to cities, the stats show us as one of the most urbanised places in the world, no matter what the stereotypes are) being Not Born Of Indigenous Input to violence of poverty and being driven to crime then shipped halfway across the world away from loved ones, to violence of displacement from other lands from poverty or war or overpopulation. we're all kind of unmoored even though many don't ever show it, we're all coming from a place of having lost that deep connection to self and either trying to find it or not bothering and I think it does really show in the way we connect to each other, the way we connect to the land, the misunderstanding and exploitation and often trying to be something we're not.

but i'd also say our strength is in our survival. we're good at coming together in natural disasters, we're often really creative when it comes to getting by, we're hard working, we know we're entitled to nothing. it comes when you've lived in conditions like ours: poor soil, harsh weather--be it drought or too much rain, we've been there, we've seen it, every year and every season is like we jump to a different climate zone, our agriculture isn't suited to our climate or our soil and our cities aren't planned but we get by anyway. we're hardworking and humble and when you put an aussie in another country and another setting you really see that. and we do it like it's nothing and still think it's nothing and don't understand compliments on it, we're self-deprecating like that. survival happens if we all do well enough to get by, independence leads to interdependence, and as a result we don't like people who take too much and we want those who are struggling to succeed. we aren't all like that, sure, but you see someone trying to get ahead and getting up themselves because of it? they won't last long as an aussie. community can and will ostracise them and no one's gonna feel bad. we hate our politicians but we have them anyway. we don't let them get too big-headed, we know they will, we have artists specifically employed to make fun of them. we're not perfect at this but they're older white men (problem) we don't feel bad about bullying them even if it'd be more productive to have a diverse group of people--but then we might actually feel bad about bullying them so that won't do. politics are for show anyway to get along with other countries. aussies don't care about anything we can't see with our own eyes and touch with our own hands, preferably holding a shovel or too-big set of tongs. 'she'll be right, mate' we say but really we just don't want to deal with it. why would we when getting by for ourselves is hard enough? don't talk about abstract concepts. but behind the survival if you break into that part of our minds that longs to be seen and cared for, you might have gotten our attention even though we will never admit that kind of vulnerability (it's why so many of us find western models of therapy etc so confusing. we're hardened folk)

there's a lot of negative but we kind of live with it i guess? we don't pretend it isn't the case. and sometimes we do something good. aussies invented permaculture, for example. i'm sure there are other things right there but i can't call them to mind right now. do you know what permaculture is? go have a look into it. it's one of my favourite things. in a more academic sense we invented water sensitive urban design and biodiversity sensitive urban design as well. and we needed to from a place of survival. it's the beauty of it, it's authentic and when it's there on the ground we can touch it so it's real and other countries can then see what we do and implement it themselves. with these things having popped up in recent years i think we're in a stage of transition as a nation, we're still a patchwork of confused cultural threads trying and failing at being european with our education and agriculture models--we haven't grown into ourselves yet. we haven't realised the potential of all the cultures we have to inspire something better. we still get a bit scared of each other. we still haven't figured out who we are--and personally, looking back at my family, generations of immigrants whose children become immigrants to somewhere else, i feel like there is a lot to discover that i have no idea how to find. how to internalise. my ancestors come from all over the world, and no one has had to pull together such a diverse range of ancestral and found cultural influences until me (i should give myself credit for that. and also not just talk about it but actually do it). and then when it comes to things like religion we're skeptical but also just long to be loved. and we'll take what gives that if we don't have to talk about it, but we won't take what limits us, and i feel like we're still figuring out how to lose tradition and hierarchy while keeping the heart of all the faith traditions we have here. another thing i should investigate. because we're still trying to be someone else i think, and it's not working. so to sum it up i think we're a whole lot of unfounded potential and messy sort-of functionality. no one does it like we do. not even us.

but this is coming from someone who is strangely really connected to everyone, like it's a bit of a weird talent and a little bit hippie (but aussies are hippies too, even though the hardened country folk would never admit it and the city folk don't have time for it and that leaves the label to tasmanians and northern rivers/byron coast folk who the rest of us associate it with). like i can connect with anyone for better or worse, and i do, i can't stop myself, but it's also tiring. who needs the autonomy and freedom of the bush and the novelty and connection and opportunity of our biggest cities. i'm well suited to my career i guess, but not so much self care! and yet. the reason i know how to survive is that it's handed down from ancestors from literally everywhere. we've all brought that and faced this harsh land in the last century, and now it's up to me to do that in a modern setting with modern problems like overpopulation and biodiversity loss.

and i'll also admit a lot of my conceptulisation comes from i am australian by the seekers. i generally sing/play the song without the third verse (or whichever one is about the war) because i find that in this moment in time it's not actually the biggest thing in aussie history that shaped us--it's more a global thing we were dragged into and we do better to leave it and instead think about ancient history, about the people who came with colonisation who weren't all bad individually though they were forced into a bad situation and became many of our ancestors, about the land as a living thing with a spirit, and about the things we create.

otherwise if you're looking for something that more captures what i think you might relate to being australian and some of the generational trauma you see around you that's so woven into our country if not your immigrant family who are trying to fit in but haven't yet specifically there's bloodline by luke hemmings. you know, because at the moment i can't shut up about him or his music.

anyway, do yourself a favour (heck, do me a favour) and get out of that country town of a suburb you live in. it's very insular, possibly one of the most insular places i've seen in this land and i've been to a lot of country towns and urban precincts. we love walkable cities but we yearn for more, more enrichment in the enclosure, and so literally, get on a train and go somewhere, anywhere, and notice things. notice how they do things there. and let me know if it feels good to do that. I will mail you a go card with money on it if that's what you need. go find yourself

[bi-bats]

Hey bitch, it's @chipmunkery <3

13, 32, 40 (no reason in particular 👀), 63, 64 for the ask meme

HEY BESTIEEEEE!! Thank you for sending me an ask even though I'm sure you know the answer to like. half of these questions lmaooooo 💖💖💖💖

13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

ooh I actually have to think about this one for a second, hang on

maybe using sensory details and actions to break up dialogue? Sometimes if I think there needs to be a moment between two lines of dialogue but I'm not actually giving the reader a chance to pause by using an emdash or an ellipses, I'll throw something in there to break it up. I have some examples from the damitim fic:

“You’re not talking?”  “No.” “Is that your call?”  Damian puts the teapot on the stove with slightly more force than required, flicking on the burner in the same fashion. “No,” he says flatly. 

okay yeah so in this bit I put that action with the teapot in there as a substitute for a line about Damian pausing, because "he paused" looked boring and felt wrong, so I gave him something to do in that time. This also uses the other bit of advice I posted about the other day about avoiding just saying how a character feels. The action I gave him tells you how he's feeling about it: he's frustrated. But also, he says no flatly, because he doesn't want his words to show that he cares.

Sometimes instead of an action I'll throw in a train of thought because like. If the character has time to notice a smell or to feel something, it creates the breathing room I need to emphasize the dialogue. like here:

“No, I fucking don’t! Damian,” Tim scoffs, as if he’s explaining this to a child, “I’ve been living with Ra’s Al Ghul for the last six years, do you honestly think that Bruce is going to trust me after that?”  And Damian hadn’t thought of that. Hadn’t thought of not trusting Tim, or forgiving him, for even a second.  He is not a fool. He does not think that Tim has spent six years lounging around like a prince in a castle, living in luxury.  That Tim spent six years there and kept his hands clean.  He pretends he does not feel like he’s begging.  “That does not mean you have to leave.”

the time it takes to get from the sentence to the response creates the feeling of the pause even though it's not written anywhere that there is a pause. It just feels like there was a pause while he processed that, and the dialogue is emphasized because of that. Honestly, this is probably the most common thing I do in editing. This actually might not be a common writing tip but I find it works for me and I already wrote all this out and I couldn't think of any common writing tips lol

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

@kieran-granola, @yasmindifference, and @jpeg-dot-jpeg fr this was so easy to answer, everything they write is fucking amazing go read their stuff rn if you haven't already

also honorary mention to you because your stuff is also fucking amazing and I'm EATING IT UP I'VE BROUGHT UP THE JAYBART FIC IN LIKE 4 POSTS AND I'M GONNA DO IT AGAIN RIGHT NOW ADJFAGNAJGLKJF THAT FIC HAS A HOLD ON ME

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

NO PARTICULAR REASON?? NO PARTICULAR REASON, LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN TELLING YOU HOW HARD I WOULD LOSE MY SHIT IF YOU MADE ART TO GO WITH ONE OF MY PIECES???? YOU THINK I LOSE MY SHIT ABOUT YOUR ART NOW??????? JUST WAIT OKAY JUST WAIT!!!!

Alright well first off anything from this list, but also specifically anything where any of them are covered in blood. The way you draw blood is gorgeous and I'd lose my MIND to see one of my ideas with it 😭 I actually once said to you (half-joking) that I added so much blood to the DamiTim fic because I was trying to lure you into drawing it 😂

So, for you specifically:

that one scene in I Know What My Brother Is where DamiTim (TimDami? I don't really like the order of the ship name mirroring top/bottom dynamics but whatever) are on the bed and Damian's resolve is about to break again

jaytimkon cuddling from the first chapter of Bad Days

that scene in scars & stitches where Tim is leaning Jason back so he can stitch him up and Jason leans back way farther than he needs to

oh my god something from You Hear His Voice Once and You Know It Again like. I'd lose my MIND if you drew lazzied Tim akdjfajkf OOOH YEAH MAYBE THE SCENE WHERE TIM IS HOLDING JASON'S JAW AND JASON IS HOLDING TIM'S WRIST AND IT'S RIGHT WHEN THEY BOTH GO GENTLE FOR A MINUTE

I just really love the way you draw intimacy 😭😭😭 all of these moments are SO intimate you know? Also no pressure to draw any of these, and also anyone is welcome to draw any of these too!! It's just easier for me to pick out specific ones for someone whose style I'm familiar with (and also the ones I'm like. I know for sure I would lose my shit if you drew these lmaooo)

63. Something you hate to see in smut.

I hate the word lover okay I just don't like it I hate it SO much adkjfjafurghgurhgaurhgauhra it upsets me okay it's a me problem whatever

I also don't love the whole 'the older one' 'the younger one' etc. thing, but that's more of a general writing pet peeve than in smut specifically. (It doesn't bother me if it's intentional and like. a kink that someone is leaning into? But it does bother me when it's clear that someone just didn't want to use names again)

64. Something you love to see in smut.

emotional intimacy of any kind. even if it's two characters who are hatefucking instead of being deeply in love. I just. I need them to have feelings about each other it's SO much better that way

also praise kink lol "good boy" are you kidding

[measlyfurball13]

Fanwork creators self rec! When you get this, reply with your five favorite fics/art/podfics/etc. that you've made, then pass on to others. Let’s spread the self-love 🌼

Well, I'm a fic writer, so prepare for an esoteric assortment of fics in no particular order!

I'll open with my most recent, and the one I consider my best. This is a found family hurt/comfort fic starring Team Dark (comprised of Shadow the hedgehog and his two closest friends Rouge, and Omega, for those unfamiliar with the franchise.) Shadow is immortal, nearly indestructible, and saddled with some truly terrible PTSD around the ones he cares about dying on him, and it was interesting to portray that through a narration style I'd never tried before. This was also the fic where I really fleshed out how I write Omega, who is my all-time favorite character in the Sonic franchise. He's the most delightful blend of blunt and violent but also more caring than he lets on.

This one also deals with the unusually serious subject matter of post-mortem care. I remember waffling about posting this fic for weeks, worried that people would think a Sonic fanfic with such a down-to-earth subject matter would be scoffed at. Surprise! I was wrong. Once I posted it, this fic got a ton of positive attention, which I was grateful for.

Next up is a truly strange pick- it's a League of Legends fanfic, yet it's not about Veigar, the character I hyperfixated hard on for a solid year. I like the fics I've written with Veigar, don't get me wrong, but I like this one better. It stars Kassadin, a lone desert warrior who lost his family to the darkness he's trying to find the heart of, and Kai'sa, a woman who was consumed by said darkness but managed to wrestle back control of her body.

I really got to develop a unique character narration for the lead, Kassadin. It's a particularly strong, mature, and unique character voice, one that I enjoyed writing a lot and am quite proud of. I also leveraged some fantastic dramatic irony- anyone familiar with League lore knows that the monster he encounters is actually his long-lost daughter, Kai'sa. Yet his attitude towards that fact continually fluctuates, before ending on a negative-leaning note, something that was very challenging for me to do! (I'm a chronic therapy-speak writer, something I'm constantly working to avoid.)

I think it's underrated. League isn't a big fandom anyway, and I posted this onto an otherwise Veigar-focused blog. Perhaps I should post it on AO3.

I just had to mention one of my famous Sigma Overwatch fanfics on this list. I wrote a shitload of fic for this character, and almost all of it blew the fuck up back in 2019. I was the first person to post fic for Sigma once he came out on this website! (Not this fic in particular, mind you, but I thought that fact was worth a mention.)

Of my absolute deluge of Sigma fic, this is probably my favorite. The rest are good, but are a little simple. This one, though, has the thematic thread of "control" woven throughout it that I'm quite proud of. I also feel that this is the fic in which I captured the morally grey character of Moira the best- her emotions towards Sigma are complicated, but ultimately, she is his superior and the one responsible for a portion of his mistreatment here at Talon. This fic is essentially about her coming to that realization, and I think that's a powerful moment. It's a character dynamic I haven't seen anywhere else in media/fic. I'm proud that I wrote it.

Okay this next one is weird. By all odds, it should be my least favorite work, right? I'm not a romance writer. Doomfist is far from my favorite character. Hell, I'm not attracted to men, yet this fic continues to linger in my conscience as one that I'm immensely fond of.

I wrote it for and to evoke the writing style of the lovely amazing @ow-old-men. Gabe (op of that blog) has such fucking amazing imagery in his fics, and my imitation of that resulted in some of my favorite imagery and vibes I've ever written. I also think it's some rather strong character work- it's a moment where a confident, practically invincible socialite allows the mask to slip for just a second with a stranger.

Particularly, it's that singular moment that the entire fic was based around, the one that I suggested to Gabe in the first place. The idea that one of the proudest and most powerful men in the world would kneel for you without question so that you could kiss his forehead. Idk man, I still remain in love with the vibes of this one, even though it's so far outside the confines of my usual writing.

And finally, to finish this list off, I just have to plug my longest posted fic to date. This is my incredibly niche crossover of two obscure sci-fi shows that have my whole heart. It was also my first true practice at writing a long-form character arc, to which I think I succeeded.

Kitt, the AI from Knight Rider, wakes up far in the future and realizes that his closest companion is likely long gone. Over the course of this fic, he goes from wanting to deactivate to learning to open back up and allow a new person into his life. There's also some good ol' buddy-cop shenanigans between him and Garibaldi, the security officer aboard the space station that Kitt wakes up on, including a particularly fun scene where Kitt helps him cheat at cards.

This fic is showing its age just a tad with some of the writing and characterization of the Babylon 5 characters, but I'm still immensely, immensely fond and proud of it. Writing this fic taught me a lot that I'm applying to my current projects now. I wouldn't be where I am now without this one.

[bettsfic]

craft essay a day #2

this isn't actually a craft essay, but the first chapter of a craft book. looking at my shelf, a great many essay reviews are just going to be book chapters. in the case of some of the narratology books, probably sections of chapters because they make my brain hurt.

13 Ways of Looking at the Novel by Jane Smiley, Chapter 1: "Introduction"

beginner | intermediate | advanced | masterclass

filed under: process, drafting

summary

the premise of this book is that Smiley read 100 novels for the purpose of writing this book on writing novels. after the table of contents, those 100 novels are listed chronologically, starting strong with Tale of Genji and ending weak with Jennifer Egan's Look at Me (no offense to Egan fans; she is just not my favorite, but who knows, maybe i'll love Look at Me). as someone who once faced down the whitest white comps list ever devised, this seems like a pretty good list. i've only read about 10 of them and there are some on here i haven't even heard of.

in the introduction, Smiley narrates the story of how she came to write this book, and how her identity as a novelist has changed over the years. infuriatingly, she talks about how easy writing has always been for her, and that she wrote all of her very well-regarded, award-winning books in different ways but mostly painlessly.

"If to live is progress, if you are lucky, from foolishness to wisdom, then to write novels is to broadcast the various stages of your foolishness."

she goes on to discuss dry spells of writing and why they happen. as a Dickens biographer, she elaborates on how prolific he was until the end of his life, and speculates why. after a few other examples, she concludes that she fears writing is the result of "pain and lack" and that when writers find happiness, sometimes they stop writing. she goes on to talk about how her love of horses changed her relationship with writing, and that she personally loved her novel Horse Heaven but not many other people did.

"Was the old truism I hated so much really true, that art, or at least novelistic art, is created out of pain and lack? I had resented and resisted the idea for years; art, I thought, is created out of observation and insight. You don't write a novel to salve a wound, but to bear witness."

the essay ends with her sitting down to write a novel and realizing she has no idea what she's doing. so she read a hundred novels, and wrote this book.

my thoughts

i labeled this as "intermediate" even though it's only really a personal essay because it's more than a little jarring to read about a pulitzer prize winning writer realizing, after publishing a dozen novels, she doesn't know how to write a novel. what hope do the rest of us have?

for me personally this chapter was both very validating and very nauseating. as a writer, i've just never been able to hit the mark, because the things i like to write about and the way i like to write them don't seem to have a place anywhere. but it's always validating to read about other writers who find joy in the process of writing, and see it as a privilege rather than a burden.

on my good days, i think about how my life is my own, and that publications and awards and every other signifier of success doesn't really matter. what matters is how i spend the minutes of my day, and any minute i get to spend writing is a good one. but a few of those minutes each day should be dedicated to putting my work out there somehow: posting fic, applying to residencies, submitting places. if i put my work in the world, i have to trust that eventually good things will happen.

overall i found this essay very humbling. sometimes i get in my own head and think "i'm a pretty good writer" but then i read writers who are lightyears beyond me, who don't have to rewrite things a dozen times to get it right, and remember i am no genius; i have no natural talent, only skill; and i'll always be less a writer than i am an editor and teacher. i'm glad to remember these things. they lower the stakes a bit and make me less precious about my work, insofar as i do have the freedom to write whatever i want, even if it doesn't land anywhere.

i'm also reminded i need to spend less time writing porn and more time reading literally anything. novels, essays, stories, fanfic, anything!! 2023, i gotta commit.

craft essay a day tag | writing advice tag | ask me something

[friendshipgun]

😈

💖-specifically, when did you start writing, what kind of things did you write, what inspired you, how has your writing journey looked?

and uh i fuckin forget the emoji but character headcanon(s) for mia winters and/or jesse evilwest (and his twin??)

hope these are fun to answer!

Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

i think maybe you asked this one the last time i reblogged this ask meme but there has also been Fic Progression so i also understand lol. but no, not really. a lot of the time i don't even clock something that might read like that until i get comments about it. i am however mean to Karl and Ethan on purpose and so there is probably splash damage from that lol.

(and i'm gonna have to readmore the rest bc it gets long, apologies) What made you start writing?

i don't know when exactly i started, just that i remember putting little books of "stories" together in elementary school. i wrote what i think technically counts as LOTR fanfic and MLP oc fic lmao. but what i mostly wrote was original fiction. a cousin i was close to as a kid was also big into writing and we ended up attending a summer camp for the arts together in middle school, so i was writing mostly poetry there, but prose too. i also started writing fic with another friend in middle/high school (stuff like pokemon crack fic lmao), but i was still mostly writing original fiction. in high school in particular i got BIG into writing poetry (idk if anyone else knows about allpoetry.com but i sure was spending a heck of a lot of time there), was editor of the high school literary magazine, etc etc. basically i was never not writing. i was also posting way more fic in high school, writing primarily angst at that point and largely for Final Fantasy.

then i went to college and stopped writing for a few years barring academic papers. started taking writing seminars the last few semesters i was there which got me writing again. again mostly original fiction. a lot of supernatural stuff, not really poetry anymore though, which is kind of a shame bc of how much i had liked it. started writing fic again too, a lot of Naruto stuff that i never posted anywhere. then my dad of all people got me into Supernatural and i wrote a bunch of fic for that that i also never posted anywhere. then i went to grad school and the "not writing anything except academic papers" thing started up again rip. really didn't pick it up again as a regular practice until after my dad died a few years back. wrote a bunch of stuff about grief that was uhhhhhhhhh pretty clearly me trying to process shit.

and then it was covid and i lost my job and i was watching playthroughs of re7 and re8 almost concurrently going "but what if you put Heisenberg in the swamp WHAT THEN." as for what inspires me, i guess just about everything? like the number of stories i wrote set in Japan after i'd studied abroad there...is a lot. and with fic it's just like "i just think it would be neat if character i like was in a Situation." when i was writing poetry a lot of it was teenage angst bc i was in high school but i'd also write about cities or people or fantasy epics. anyway this is already really long but yeah basically if i think about it for long enough that it becomes "I Just Think They're Neat" territory i'll want to write something about it.

Mia Winters Headcanon:

she doesn't trust easily and has for a long time kept things about herself secret, or lied outright, as a way to protect herself. she'd been doing this long before she met Ethan and then after...it was habit. and it was easy to keep things about her work secret because it did feel like she was protecting him. and it wasn't like it was going to be forever, she was planning on getting out. she was working on it. she hadn't even thought of something like that--a normal life--until she'd met Ethan, and then it had seemed like...like something attainable. there wouldn't be the need for secrets then, when it was just the two of them. (or so she told herself: it's like pulling off her skin, being that exposed, having nothing between herself and someone else. being seen. completely seen.) anyway this got away from me a bit lmao. but basically i like to try to reconcile her going back to lying post-re7 as a defensive move to protect herself, especially when the BSAA knows everything about her past. i don't think she was intentionally trying to hurt Ethan or anything, just that after Dulvey she'd feel ever more the need to have those secrets as a buffer, combined with a deep, deep fear that Ethan would hate her if he knew. (this is how i am personally smoothing down Mr. Capcom's writing decisions.) Jesse Evil West Headcanon: he has had a crush on Edgar since he was a kid and is outright tormented by it. i imagine him taking issue with how his dad treated Edgar. or feeling jealous of Edgar's loyalty to his dad. just let's give Jesse more issues regarding his dad lmao. the little joke he makes in the game about Edgar kissing him is a ""joke"" but like he is internally yelling UNLESS?????? as vehemently as he can.

thinking also about post-game events, how Bloom was joking around with Edgar and Jesse can absolutely get jealous about that too, like just he's a mess and i don't know if it's better (worse) if he has actually confessed to Edgar and was shot down or has just never confessed to Edgar for fear of getting shot down.

and if you want to bring in Jesse's twin (who is also named Jessie i guess we can just give him an extra vowel) i think it's very funny if both of them alternately fight over and tag team Edgar. co-op, as it were.

[clairelsonao3]

Happy STS, Claire! I guess this is a worldbuilding question so feel to save it for another day if it’s a lot/you want to post it on Wednesday. It was around 1950, if I remember correctly, when the current system was established in your world. How much resistance was there when the slavery system was brought about? Were there riots, insurgent groups, etc., and if so, how were they quelled? Any heroic folks whose names have been buried by the powers that be in the interest of maintaining the system? In the present day, if the authorities caught whiff of a huge activist movement (on a mass scale, *if* that were somehow possible—as big or even bigger than the stuff in Erica’s past), how would they respond?

Happy STS!

No worries, I'll answer it now since I have time! Plus, I have too many WBW q's sitting in my drafts already...

First of all, I'm actually shocked that you actually remember this much history of my world, since very little of it was actually mentioned in the story for fear of boring readers to death before the plot even really got going. But I find it interesting, of course, so I'm glad you also did!

Below the cut are some mild spoilers for the later chapters and what is probably the longest, most boring post you've ever read! You were warned.

First off, I should probably mention that I knew going into this that there weren't going to be any wars, riots, rebellions, insurrections, uprisings, emeutes, or whatever other synonym you can come up with. I am NOT the writer for that. Reading about anything war-related bores me, and I'm terrible at writing it anyway. Plus, other than Erica -- who I'll get to in a minute -- my characters aren't really fighters in that way. They'd volunteer to be spies, sure, but are they going to be waging guerilla warfare or hurling Molotov cocktails into storefronts? Absolutely not. I knew there were much more efficient and stealthy ways of fighting back that I would find much more fun to write about, and in the story, we absolutely do see some of those, which I'll discuss more below.

That said, let's talk about initial resistance. First off, a reminder that slavery was almost universally popular when it was first implemented. In fact, it's quite likely that initially, it helped avoid a violent uprising by people who were growing angry and desperate because they had no food and their governments weren't doing anything about it. Most of the people who sold themselves or their children (remember, it also started out as almost entirely voluntary) were relieved because it meant that at least they wouldn't starve. That, and they thought it would be temporary. But they say there's nothing as permanent as a temporary government program.

The movement against it -- once the horrors of the system inevitably started trickling out, and it didn't take that long -- only came in slowly, through the back door. Remember the blacklists of the 1950s? And remember how I said there was no Cold War in this world? You can imagine that the Communists of our world became the abolitionists of this one. They were few in number overall, but they were much more common in more progressive industries, such as literature and the performing arts (although they could be found almost anywhere). But they lived in a widespread climate of fear -- someone would be brought before a government tribunal and compelled to inform on their neighbors or colleagues in an effort to save themselves. Consequently, many of these people -- who consisted of freeborn people and any former slaves who were brave enough to put themselves out there -- though they weren't killed or imprisoned or (re)enslaved, were blacklisted permanently, died in poverty, and have been forgotten to history, their books burned and taken out of libraries, etc. They did occasionally become violent -- there were a few political assassinations connected to the movement, but those were few and far between. The ones that did succeed worked in secret. This was before microchipping technology was developed, and so escaping was naturally much easier. The problem was slavery wasn't just confined to one area or country; it was everywhere -- so they really had nowhere to go, except underground, where they were often easily caught. So there was never a mass exodus of runaway slaves at any point.

Heroes of the time period? Let's see. There was Eloise Yardley, a wealthy heiress who, due to her supportive family's money and connections, could avoid most of the dangers of blacklisting. She became a prominent figure in the movement and traveled around making speeches and writing books on the topic, many of which ended up being banned soon after publication, and even gave public speeches on the topic. The authorities, determined to make an example of her, eventually had her arrested on specious charges, and she ended up being one of the few activists actually put on trial for inciting rebellion during this era. Even though she was convicted, she was never actually imprisoned or enslaved, probably because of her family's intervention. She was however forced to live in exile -- on a small island in the Caribbean -- and continued her advocacy from there. Her case made sensational headlines at the time -- especially because she was also found to have been scandalously living with a male partner, a former slave and fellow activist. Sadly, it's mostly because of this reason that her name is one of the more well-known of the movement; her books still remain largely banned (people like Erica can of course get them, but you're not going to find them in mainstream libraries).

And then there's Palaestrio (a code name; if he ever had a real name, it went unrecorded) -- a freed slave whose owner had been a doctor and gave him significant training in medicine, which he used to provide care for those who became injured or ill during or after their escape attempts, and train others in the same thing. It's unknown how many slaves he actually helped -- like I said, escape was never easy -- but he was ultimately killed in the course of his work. You'll note that there's still a secret communication network that bears his code name, which in itself was likely chosen as a reference to the main character in Plautus' Miles Gloriosus. His legend, still talked of among slaves, has probably outgrown the actual biographical details of his life, but so it often goes.

Although these and others like them were widely seen as radicals, who could be dangerous if their views spread, were not yet deemed dangerous enough to be worthy of a large-scale violent crackdown.

That changed a few decades later. Erica's movement, which had hundreds, possibly thousands of members in loosely interconnected cells at its apex, was as far as the anti-slavery movement ever got in North America and was an offshoot of these early radicals. It was always an underground movement, never open war, although some of her more violent associates hoped it would become one. It is mentioned that in the past, the Slave Liberation Army, which, by the way, was shamelessly and uncreatively inspired by various real-life radical and violent factions that operated in the 1960s and '70s in our world -- is now a shadow of its former self is because of the major government crackdown, which was partially propelled by corporate lobbyists who had an interest in seeing the system remain in place. And once the movement became more violent, they had a perfect excuse to do that.

Erica, a fugitive for years, was one of the lucky ones to survive that. The ones that were caught were convicted of sedition, conspiracy, and/or attempted murder in most cases. When this happens, they're usually sentenced to become slaves but are considered untrainable/incorrigible, and so don't generally get the chance to be sold to a decent owner -- for them, it's always the mines or somewhere equally as bad. By the 1980s, the most radical parts of the movement were long gone -- the ones remaining had either somehow beaten the charges, like Erica, or had fled abroad to a country with no extradition, which included the few countries where slavery didn't exist -- mostly small, remote, less populated and less developed countries (often islands) where it wouldn't make economic sense.

But of course, they're still around in some ways. Like many formerly radical organizations in our world who now primarily operate through the legal system and various forms of advocacy, they now use the tools they have, in the form of more conventional, above-board activism like Erica's. So the remains of what was once considered a terrorist organization is now a registered nonprofit dedicated to legally helping former slaves, which gives them the veneer of legitimacy, even though obviously not everything they do is strictly legal. And of course, on the other side of the spectrum, we also have Jake Wallach's "philanthrocapitalism" approach (which of course goes horribly wrong). Interestingly, his isn't the only corporation that has expressed anti-slavery views or even expressed interest in "disrupting" it, but the actual abolitionists largely see this as a joke and mostly for show, since many of these companies still manage to profit off slave labor anyway. Erica, for her part, has known about his views for a long time, but was already suspicious of him even before the current events, as she's suspicious of all millionaires and billionaires purporting to be "of the people."

And what if the abolitionists did decide to stage an all-out rebellion? Well, as they say in politics, never let a good crisis go to waste. As I've said before, governments and even national borders in this world look different than they do in ours, but I have no doubt that whoever's in power, either in North America or anywhere, would use it as an opportunity to propagandize, stir up a climate of fear and characterize the fighters as an army of violent thugs coming to murder your children. And once they've done that, they would use it as an excuse to crack down on free speech and assembly, spy on the population, rob people of more of their fundamental rights and freedoms, and round up and prosecute whoever they could. And then, most likely, they wouldn't have to go to war, because the people, by turning in and informing on their friends and neighbors, would fight the war for them without firing a single shot.

And closing in on that lovely Orwellian thought, thanks for the ask!

[ilovedthestars]

33! 👀

ooh you picked a Good One!

33 is a wip that i labelled "flower." I talked a little about some of the shorter snips with rogue secunit OCs that i've written that never really went anywhere. This is not one of them. I have 16,000 words of it.

The fic is called flower because Flower is the name of the rogue SecUnit OC. I was probably a goner as soon as I named it that (Flower, my beloved 🥰). The original concept was just "Murderbot & Three run into some enemies who have a SecUnit while on a mission with ART's crew, and they hack the SecUnit's governor module." Then it developed a personality, which is why it went farther than just a few short snips. Flower named itself Flower before it was rogue, based on pictures in its education modules--it has not seen an actual flower before. Flower is a SecUnit who absolutely hates hurting people, in the hands of a company that uses it mostly for hurting people. It is not having a good time, and when MB & Three give it a way out, it takes it, even though it's scared of what might come next.

That was like, the first chapter, and subsequent scenes I wrote were all of a very anxious Flower getting used to being a rogue, meeting humans who treated it like a person, and settling in on Preservation. Three faded into the background because frankly i am bad at writing Three in any time period significantly after NE, because there is just not enough to extrapolate its personality from. So it was mostly Murderbot somewhat reluctantly babysitting a brand new rogue, on a Preservation Station that had only dealt with two other rogues so far and was still getting used to this whole "rogue SecUnits walking around" situation.

It was fun writing a unit that completely hated violence. Partially because it was angsty, and partially because it clashed really well with Murderbot, who is perfectly fine with violence as long as it's the one in control. I wrote a scene in which there was some kind of dangerous situation on Preservation, and MB expected Flower to back it up, but Flower wouldn't engage in helping it stop the hostiles and someone got (non-lethally) hurt. MB was mad and lashed out at Flower but eventually backed off and reconsidered, and had a moment where it realized that Flower had a right to draw its own line that it wasn't willing to cross, just like MB did after Ganaka Pit. That was a scene that I really enjoyed writing.

I really like Flower, and I like this fic, but I think i've already written all the good bits and don't know if I'll ever have the motivation I would need to polish it off. Writing it definitely informed other rogue OCs that i've come up with, and I might sneak a Flower cameo into the OU,YU universe at some point, just for fun :)

This answer is super long already but I want to share some actual words from this fic, so here's a bit from the beginning--Flower is in ART's MedSystem post-combat-turned-rescue, and the POV is Murderbot.

ART said, Do you require any further assistance at this time? I said, “Something’s wrong with its gunports. Or its targeting software. It shot me in the foot.” My targeting software is fully functional. “Then why did your shot hit so low?” I was targeting your legs. “Why?” There was no protocol saying to use minimum necessary force against a SecUnit. When we fight we try to kill each other as quickly and thoroughly as possible. “Did you have orders to incapacitate? What kind of idiot tells you to avoid shooting a SecUnit enough to actually stop it?” I was not ordered to refrain from using lethal force. It was a breach of protocol. “You broke protocol? On purpose? With a working governor module?” I don’t like killing. The way it said that…sounded like it had been thinking it for a long time, but had never been able to say it before. I said, “This wasn’t the first time?” No. I thought…maybe they would assign me to a different contract if I disobeyed. But they just put a counter on my governor module to record how many times I violated protocol by using nonlethal force. If I kept doing it they were going to dismantle me for spare parts. “How many strikes did you have left?” This mission was my last chance. That hit me hard. It had known that if it disobeyed again it would be destroyed. It had faced the even more immediate threat of me and Three killing it. It had known it would die. But it had still shot me in the foot instead of the head.

[stopgapped]

hello! welcome to stopgapped, my new roleplay blog. home to muses, wishlists, & advertisements. penned by bowie ( 21, they / them ) & currently searching. guidelines below the cut.

first and foremost, welcome to the blog! i'm here to search for some roleplay partners! i have all of my information and guidelines below, so if you're interested in any advertisement or post i've made, please read these before reaching out. thank you!

001. i am a literate / novella roleplayer and can write anywhere from 700 to 2,000 words. i tend to write a lot. i would prefer having a partner who can somewhat match length, being able to write at least 500+ words. i'm not policing this by any means, but i love getting inside of characters' heads and feel i can do that so much better through longer replies!

002. i will only roleplay with people 18 years or older. minors dni under any circumstances.

003. i don't have any triggers and i'm a bit of an angst whore. i love anything dark, gritty, and whumpy - let's put our characters through the wringer and see how they fare with a touch of hurt/comfort <3 of course, this doesn't mean i don't want fluffy and/or fun moments, i just really prefer exploring the darker side of the human experience and would love a partner who is also interested in that. with that being said, character-driven roleplays are my bread and butter!

004. i write in third person only and have a preference for past tense, but i'm not going to turn you away if you prefer writing in the present tense. i usually mirror the length and formatting of my partner's replies as well!

005. i dabble in all kinds of pairings, but my main one will always be mxm. almost all of my characters are queer and it's something i adore exploring!

006. ooc chatter is as important to me as the roleplay itself, if not more important! i want to become friends with my partner and be able to gush about our characters, create pinterest boards and aesthetics and playlists, all of that jazz. i want to hear all about your characters, paragraphs of details are always appreciated. i really would love a partner who shares equal enthusiasm about what we write and create.

007. i'm completely open to writing with ocs or canon characters ( if not otherwise stated in my ads ), and if i'm not sure who your canon character is, feel free to explain them and their lore to me! i see it the same as anyone describing their oc, and i most often dabble in writing canons anyway.

008. i'm a pretty busy person and sometimes i can run into the occasional creative slump, but i'll still be active ooc even if it takes me a bit to respond to our roleplay. if you're someone who needs rapid fire responses, i'm probably not the person for you. on my side, i'm always patient and can wait however long for a response! days, months, years. whatever. take your time, this is a fun hobby and i don't see the point in rushing art!

009. i'm cool with smut, but it's not a must and we can always fade to black if you're uncomfortable with that kind of thing. if you want a smut heavy plot, though, please look elsewhere.

010. triggering and dark themes can and will be present in pretty much all of my roleplays, simply because i enjoy exploring them and seeing how they affect my character(s). specific triggers will be placed in each ad, but note that the most common triggers that'll crop up are child abuse, suicidal thoughts, and depression.

that's about it, thanks so much for reading!

[yors-truly]

Hello! This is your friendly inquiry to answer this ask with whatever you'd like to talk about right now! Whether that be a story you're working on, something you're excited or worried about, or just something random you happen to know.

All the love,

~ toribookworm ❤️

Ah, I guess I've been more on the lower side these past few days, so I'll spill the beans.

I've been slightly if not highly insecure about the progress of Beyond Time and Space recently. Things haven't really been stable since my family's been in the process of moving and, in the midst of that, losing Nygaard (my phone holding all of my important notes).

The things I want to use are all packed away in a storage miles from here, which includes my sketchbook, my stylus, and many more (which, as an artist who often gets art block, it's very frustrating when the inspiration hits and you can do literally nothing about it).

Then there's the insecurity surrounding my age. I'm a teenager. With my birthday coming on the 20th, that status won't change. Maybe it's just the mindset of "kids wishing they were grow ups" or whatever, but as of very recently, it's been getting to me. I've been motivated and inspired by other indie projects like mine, who have all of these incredible people behind them, helping make a vision into a visual. I would love to do that! I'm already doing that!

The thing is, though, is that I lack connections. I'm pretty much going solo in this. As someone as young as myself (who also has diagnosed SAD and possibly ADHD, little to no experience in such a collaborative environment, zero experience in running a project, and lacking the money and tools actually needed), I'm worried no one will be willing to work with me to bring my thoughts to an audience, let alone allow me to help bring theirs to one. I've been trying to start out small, posting what I enjoy and hoping to make friends along the way, as it would be a dream to work alongside friends more than anything, but it's been doing my mental health more harm than good, in the way that me having SAD cranks my anxiety with in-person interactions to 200% with online interactions. For the longest time, I forgot social media existed (still do sometimes, and I think that's also an anxiety response: repression or something like that? involuntarily forgetting the things that make you anxious), so my activity hasn't been the best anywhere anyway, to begin with.

I guess all of this sums up to me saying "I wish I could do things on my own" in a slightly desperate way. If I had the money - heck, if I had a way of transferring money, because people have been questioning about commissions too (at least they used to; idk where my audience is now, since I've been so inactive) - that would be so useful! I want to be able to receive funds for my own hard work, and give funds to others for theirs! It's all so frustrating X[

(on an unrelated note: now that I've moved, I'll probably end up having to celebrate my birthday with my family instead of the people I love most.)

So, yeah, that's pretty much it. Beyond Time and Space is nowhere near finished, and I guess, in a way, I'm kinda glad I don't have extra hands at the moment. I'd like to have the entire first season written before making any progress on visuals (besides... you know... the ones I already have). It's just gonna take a little longer than I wished, and with everything moving so quickly, it's kind of overwhelming me a little qwq A beta reader or two (besides my brother who kind of just lazily reads through it most times) would be nice, though, but I take forever to write scripts so maybe not XD

Thanks for the opportunity to rant on! I really needed to get this out, I think, and this ask couldn't have been timed any better :star-emoji:

[mortifyingideal]

i was tagged in this by the wonderful @fremulon (thanks cherry!) and accidentally deleted the whole thing twice so now i'm mostly just posting it out of spite and without a read more due to said spite. SUCK IT TUMBLR.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 10 published out loud and 1 published anonymously

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

226419

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

okay so this is really only my most recent life. i have been around a lot. a lot. i was there, gandalf, during the superwholock years (and an active participant) so over the course of my life it's like

Harry Potter, Teen Titans, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Inception, Daredevil, The Avengers, The Musketeers, Wells & Wong Mysteries, Twin Peaks, Homestuck, Red vs Blue

but in this lifetime i'm just writing for Good Omens (and have written for DuckTales and Cruella)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1 — Loosely Ballroom (surprising absolutely nobody)

2 — Look Not Too Deep

3 — ergo propter hoc (okay this one is kind of a surprise actually but i'm very happy about it i love this fic)

4 — café au vin

5 — an institute you can't disparage

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i do! i try to respond to every comment i get on the day of/the day after i get it. i've met a lot of good friends this way, and i also just like taking the time to respond to people who've taken the time to respond to something i made. makes me feel good (plus i want everyone to like me)

the only downside is it can get a bit overwhelming at times? particularly with LB, which gets a shitload of comments per chapter and can take me up to two full days to read through them all and answer, and if i'm having a bad brain time i just cannot face doing it. so if you've ever left a comment and i've not responded, i promise It's not because i don't appreciate it. my brain machine just was going brmmmmmmmmm.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i was going to say NONE BECAUSE I DON'T WRITE ANGST but i guess if i had to decide it would be the RVB fic that's on my ao3 right now, which has an angstily hopeful ending.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

hahahaha

CRAZY LIKE A FOX

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not as far as i'm aware! i have had several uhhhhhhh overly familiar meant-to-be-jovial comments on/about the above crossover from people i don't really know very well that have told me i'm a terrible person or i've committed crimes while i'm out here like, cool this is art i made and put in the world for fun and believe in and i don't really... know you? but those comments were meant in good faith imo so i don't really think it counts as hate

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

the last time i tried to write smut, crowley got stabbed, so the kind that sends people to the hospital i guess?

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge. good luck formatting all the images and italics, anyone who might try.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

again, not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

infamously. it's the only reason anyone might have read this far. also attempting to collaborate on an as-of-yet-unfinished-project with @indieninja92 who is a creative genius with their finger in many, many pies. speaking of, have you visited hauntedswords.com recently?

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

errrrrr i mean probably aziraphale/crowley, not to seem obvious. they've been with me since i was like 10 years old, they haven't gone anywhere, they will probably be bothering me until the day i die.

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I WILL FINISH ALL OF MY WIPs. okay no that's not true, i have the start of an inception fic that is a GO AU that i honestly think would have been fucking slammin' but the time for that has passed now.

15. What are your writing strengths?

a very definite sense of character voice, attention to detail in terms of enriching the world i'm writing in, dialogue dialogue dialogue, smash cuts (are they even called smash cuts in writing? WHATEVER THEY ARE I CAN DO THEM)

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

you are my collaborator. you send me back part of a chapter and tell me i have a sentence that is a bit too lengthy and doesn't work, and i need to edit it. i send it back to you. the sentence is now an entire paragraph and a half, with three jokes, a metaphor and a new line of dialogue embedded in it, changing the overall tone of the chapter. this is known as The Mort Special.

i also get very in my own head about not really being a good writer, or not being as good as the people (or person specifically i suppose) that i'm working with. i'm working on this! i'm not working on The Mort Special, though, that's always writing gold.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

this is a really weird and specific question, who hurt you OP? errrr i guess much like any quirk of writing, it's fine when used sparingly and with a deft hand.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

fuck me, probably Harry Potter? neopets roleplaying boards were a gateway drug.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

this is the part where i pretend i'm going to say something other than Loosely Ballroom. i don't think i'll ever make something else in my life that's made me feel the way making that has. it's been—to delve into reality TV speak (and paraphrase crowley from a future chapter)—a real emotional rollercoaster.

plus it's just fuckin' funny isn't it.

tagging @phoenix-soar, @thyra279, @heycaricari, @stillseekwill and @katnoggin (and anyone else who might want to!)

[backslashdelta]

just for the record I have never not wanted to hear you talk about the things you enjoy. also I've been thinking lately about tumblr as a platform and how, while i love the loyalty to the chronological feed, it does mean that things can get lost in the shuffle - if I post something when other people happen to not be online, it won't get attention even if people totally would have liked it/interacted with it if they saw it. so that's just to say that you shouldn't feel weird about reblogging your own things - that's something that I've been thinking I should do more often, and that creators in general should feel free to do! even if I've already seen a post of yours, I will probably be more than happy to see it again.

Thanks! This is a really sweet message, and I appreciate it very much 🥰

Like logically I know that some people want to hear the things I have to say and see the things I need to show, and I've never posted anything that hasn't been shown at least a little bit of love, so I even have evidence to back it up.

But also the fact of the matter is that there are people who don't want to hear me – or anyone else, for that matter – talk about certain things. And that's not actually a problem! That's totally fine! There are things that I don't really care to hear other people talking about, either. That's why we can filter tags, and use that as a way to keep following people and ignore the things they post about that we either dislike or are otherwise just indifferent about.

And like obviously I'm not suggesting that's a bad thing, I enthusiastically encourage people to filter whatever they want and curate their online space, and I do that as well. It's just that I also know for a fact that there are people who follow me and I follow them who don't want to see me talk about that certain ship, or that particular character, who don't want to see my art or gifsets or read my fanfic or whatever.

I literally cannot stress enough that this isn't a bad thing. The point of fandom is to be able to engage with the things that interest you, and ignore the things that don't. But I've personally felt, since a young age, that the things I liked weren't interesting to other people, and so I should keep them to myself. Tumblr has helped with that mindset, but my initial reaction to knowing someone wants to specifically avoid something I like, especially if they're a friend, is to feel like I should keep it to myself in general, even though I know other people do enjoy it. I think it's partly a result of how conflict-averse I am. It's not even a conflict, but I just don't want to ruffle any feathers or annoy anyone and have to come anywhere close to a conflict, so it's easier to just shut up about it.

I don't know. There are places that I've wanted to share certain things, but I don't because I talk myself out of it thinking that nobody will care. And part of that is true, they won't; there's no point in me sharing a fic I wrote for ship X when everybody in the group likes ship Y and is either indifferent to or straight up dislikes ship X. But sometimes I wonder if those decisions are because it's just not the best place for it, or if I'm doing it from a place of fear and insecurity.

Ultimately, it's not a huge deal. I'm psycho-analyzing myself right now I guess, but I'm not that upset about this, and ultimately I do end up sharing my work and my thoughts and people do engage positively with the things I put out into the world and I've rarely gotten negative interactions, so I'd call that a win.

But I'll also probably continue to feel a little weird everytime I promote myself in some way. And I'll continue to warn people that they might not want to read my writing for xyz reason because I think there will always be at least a little part of me that has that thought in the back of my head that something that is self-indulgent to me must not be interesting to anyone else.

I still appreciate knowing you feel this way, though. And I'm sure you're not the only person who does, and Tumblr as a whole really is a huge help in trying to combat that mindset, so I appreciate everyone here who engages with me in this fandom space in any way. I appreciate you all, and this has just been me talking what may or may be a lot of nonsense but I'm just feeling weirdly... pensive? philosophical? melancholy? tonight.

[frogmentarii]

QUESTIONS FOR OC CREATORS

Haaaa ok so I am doing this cause i saw @fallout-lou-begas steal it from @tarberrymentats and they both looked like they were havin hella fun so i am commandeering this for my own purposes. So lucky for yall its Emi time (art by the dearest @yesjejunus because yall need to see more of her work)

A) Why are you excited about this character?

Because she's an older woman (57) that breaks a lot of moulds and I love to see it. Aside from just enjoying older characters, Emi isn't a sweet old lady and she isn't here to try and mother anyone. Her drives are entirely her own and while she prioratizes herself and her sister before anyone else, its not always due to complete selfishness and just due to growing up in the wastes (I try to keep her character true to a fend for yourself setting as possible). I think Ill go into detail in another question with this, but I went through a lot of concepts and personalities for Emi before settling on someone who was seasoned and very much a product of the wastes. I think after seeing a lot of other couriers I finally figured out what I wanted to do differently, and that sort of helped guide her to become what she is today.

B) What inspired you to create them?

I think my last line there sort of short answers this. I wanted someone different from the other couriers I saw, and wanted to make one that was distinct or even juxtaposed against some tropes. She's a woman in her late 50s that doesnt try and play mom/granny to the companions, she very much has no stake in what happens to the Mojave, she doesnt care about Benny or that he shot her in the head (such is life in the Mojave, but she did have a job to complete so ripperoni him), and a lot of her motivations are selfish or exist to benefit her sister. She doesnt act 'old' in the fact that she isn't a wise caring soul or a grumpy old man, but rather her age is shown through her experience, and this also shapes her personality. She's never had to formally 'grow up' so she can come off as immature and irritating for her own entertainment, but she doesn't have youthful ignorance for how the world works. She knows how to be responsible but she doesnt have to act like it outwardly, even with her Tragic Caregiver Backstory.

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

To a large degree in the beginning, yes, and to specific degrees now, also yes. Writing in general isnt my strong point though I did know what I wanted for her. The main image is there but the details are funky, and Ive been slowly hammering those out as I work along with her and Camila's stories. There's been some huge changes along the way that help push both of them towards an ending I like and that fits them, and even if it takes forever and I never actually write a fic, I'll be happy when she finally feels completed in New Vegas.

Aside from that, she kind of fits in anywhere in regards to AUs. My friend @yesjejunus and I have probably like 40000 fucking aus for our OCs and all of them feel just as organic and their canon stories.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

So I know I have an 'original concept Emilia' art on here where she looked like Laura Croft and had aviators but that wasnt even her first concept. I had originally wanted to make a petite southern belle type from Louisiana who used a shot gun and had a mean streak, but as I kept playing with concepts Emi really started to lean other places. Another huge change was her personality. Even when her concept got settled as a sniper from Mexico, she was suppose to be an early 30s caravan guard who was way too sure of herself. While there are reminents of that concept still in her, she has a lot more experience in the wastes and in think-on-your-feet situations to back up her attitude. Another thing she required was dropping her "take me seriously" personality with more goofy "i do what i want cause why not" traits.

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Emi can get along with anyone at a surface level, for a small while, if it will benefit her or she wants to pass time. She really doesn't have interest in folks who arent interesting or beneficial in some way. Since I don't really offer her much, and am a bit of a wet bag, she might yank my chain for her own funsies or she'd have no interest.

And while I did indeed give Emi my go with the flow attitude, I think I wouldn't be able to keep up with her. Emi is very fast paced and doesnt necessarily have regard for those she decides to pick up as drinking buddies for the night. Def dont trust her with my life, and knowing the shit she gets into I'd def want to steer clear of it....like a trainwreck its much better to watch her from a safe distance, lol.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

A lot of affection from a meta standpoint? I've worked with Emi and Cam a lot since creating them, and they've def come a long way since their original concepts. I wouldn't say their story is quite where I want it yet, but I am quite happy with it overall.

That, and Ive met so many awesome writers along the way with Emi. Not all of my friends have posted fic but the amount of world building and having our characters interact and talking OCs ive done with them has placed both Emi and their OCs in a special place for me. Sure her having her own story is fun but I much more prefer the bonds Ive created with people over OCs and I think thats a bit more of a cherished component to character creation for me.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Literally? That she likes to be irritating if she feels she can get away with it (or even if she cant). Actually? That she has a very "I shelter you and feed you therefore I make the rules, period." stance on how she takes care of her charge. She lets a lot of shit slide with Camila but things get very Rapunzel-esque at times.

H) What trait do you admire most?

How sure of herself she is. Even if its to a fault, she trusts herself and her judgements. That sort of confidence is something I strive to have haha.

To a lesser degree, and more of a meta point I wanted to make with her, just...her appearance I suppose? To me she's attractive, but she also has a lot of traits that aren't conventionally attractive and that's played a lot into how Ive wanted her to be. Again she's 57 years old. She has age to her body, her skin wrinkles and droops, her tits sag, she has the body of someone who uses chems, and yet despite her age and breaking of beauty standards ive made it a point to show that she is desired or thought of as attractive in non fetish specific circumstances. She herself, while aro, also still has an active sex drive and I really wanted this to be a backseat part of her character, as I feel like fandom in general shafts older women in this department (this also goes for a lot of her non 'old lady' traits I give her too). She still has sexual needs and is still very much sexually active, and she is still found to be a regular sort of attractive and is desired by those she gets involved with.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

Yes? Ish, to a degree. I didnt have to but I wanted to. I also did a lot of headcanoning with post Mexico for her early life which, afaik is free real estate for lore/nothing super detailed has been given in canon.

Given that she and Camila both shape their stories as individuals, I did have to split up some canon elements to follow two seperate characters, but other than that I really just had to make sure Emilia's story wasnt "boring" in the fact that she again, has no real stake in what happens to Vegas/the Mojave.

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

Cackles in 'which au will I obsess with today'

For the most part yes, however I love placing her in new things or different stories. She may be 'my courier' but really shes just the frog granny that goes into whatever au I am feeling at the time.