#((if anyone's inspired feel free to pick it up and do as you will))
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ce1estiall · 2 days ago
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eyes roll
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summary paige x teammate!reader paige knows she's right when something's wrong with you. inspired by this request. masterlist.
warnings slight angst (?), smut, fingering (r!receiving) oral (r!receiving), finger riding (r!receiving), edging, pinning, fluff in the end :)
celestial notes this is not that long, lo siento 💔💔 finals week is this week + next week, prepare for inactivity 😔 taste of love should be coming out 6/1 also TWICE COMEBACK YESSS
“keeps your eyes on me, push the start now go full speed
lock it down baby, you about to fall to your knees.” eyes roll - gidle
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the roster was finalized 2 days before the home opener against the indiana fever. coach chris called you into his office as you were getting some shots up. your heart immediately fell down to your feet, not knowing what to expect even though you were the first pick in the draft. you followed coach chris to his office, anxiety filled the air around you. your heartbeat increased and you started breaking out in a sweat. "hey. have a seat."
you pulled a chair out and sat down in front of his desk. he started speaking. "well i'm going to make this very short and sweet. as you know, you were the 1st pick in the draft and there's multiple reasons why we picked you." he paused for a second, looking like he was thinking on what to say. it made you nervous, until you heard "welcome to dallas."
you took a sigh of relief. "oh thank god." you touched your chest, feeling your pulse calm down slightly as you started smiling. coach chris started laughing at your reaction. "did you really think we'd wave you? that would be the stupidest move on our part." you got up from your seat, in all smiles. "well, you never know what can happen. bye coach! thank you so much." you heard a faint "see you later" as you walked back to the gym, much more relaxed.
--
it was finally the day both you and the media were waiting for. your official wnba rookie debut. you had been looking forward to this since you were a little girl. the pressure was definitely on you. you had a bunch of worries that you weren't able to meet the standard of the public eye. a couple hours before the game, you had team shooting. ever since you and paige apologized each other, you both have been attempting to reignite the relationship you had in the past, even though things were still a bit rocky between you both.
at team shooting, paige noticed you were off, unlike yourself. you brought back your old personality and charm around her, which made her light up a smile when she was with you. she was able to see right through you, instead of at you.
after you shot a free throw and missed, she grabbed your rebound and walked towards you. "you okay?" paige whispered, only loud enough for you to hear. the color in your skin faded away, like you saw a ghost. "let's sit down for a second, you don't look okay." paige grabbed your hand and interlocked her fingers with yours, assuring you that she was not letting go. you sat down on a courtside seat as paige grabbed your gatorade water bottle and sat next to you, placing a hand on your right thigh. your left thigh shook with anxiety. "talk to me, what's wrong?" you picked at your fingers, attempting to find the right words to start speaking. "i'm scared, paige." you looked up at her with glossy eyes. "what are you scared of?"
you look back down at the ground as tear slowly started filling your eyes. "i'm not gonna do my best tonight, like the whole world wants me too. that i'm not good enough and i don't deserve to be here."
paige grabbed your hands in protest. her touch was soft and warm, soothing and melting your worries at that moment. "i do not want you to ever say that. you are going to do amazing. you will play your best. when you do your best, that's all you can do. you, me and anybody else. fuck the media, they cannot be talking about anyone's performance. because they are not in the w. they have not worked as hard as you to be here today. you've done so much to be here. you should be so proud of yourself. i'm proud of you, okay?" her soft blue eyes gazed you, like she was protecting you from her vision. your eyes met hers, and your face relaxed. a slight tear escaped your eye. "thank you paige." you squeezed her hand as she wiped the tear away from your face. "go finish some shots before the game."
you got up from the seat and grabbed a ball. you shook off your nerves and took a deep breath as you decided to practice your handles, one of you strengths and favorite things to do. the touch of the ball, the sound of bouncing back and forth at such intense speed just made you satisfied.
after team shooting, you returned home and made a simple but quick meal before the game. grilled chicken breast with a side of corn. it was one of your comfort meals, as it brough nostalgia from your college days. you went to your closet, picking out a tunnel fit. you wanted to set the tone early, as you wanted to make it known that you loved not only basketball, but fashion as well. you loved dressing in both a masculine and feminine way. you decided on a simple black top with a tan jacket with black buttons, complimenting your skin tone. you wore jeans, a dark brown belt and black knee high boots, pairing it with a louis vuitton bag you bought with your first nil paycheck.
you entered the stadium, boots clacking on the floor as you made your grand entrance. camera lights flashed everywhere, as media was stunned by your first tunnel fit ever. you smiled and waved at every camera, appearing much calmer than you were before. you entered the locker room as your team was also in awe by your look. "okay rook i see you! you got style!" dijonai said as she approached you, observing your outfit. "do you guys like it?" you asked, fixing your hair before you changed. maddy turned around and saw you, looking at you from head to toe. "no girl, we love it! you're gonna be awesome today."
you gave her a smile, grabbing your uniform. you went to the bathroom to change and saw paige, doing her slick back pony. she whistled as she saw sight of you through the mirror "wow." it caught you off guard, but you smiled as she fully turned around to see you. she leaned against the counter, giving you that look. the look of interest, not as friends, but something more. paige looked like she was melting just by your presence. "just wait until you see my future tunnel fits, think you'll like 'em real better." you threw your bag on the marble bathroom counter. paige stepped closer, touching your jacket. "i think anything you wear i'll fall in love with." you rolled your eyes playfully as she winked at you. "continue getting ready, you flirt." you entered the stall and locked it as your heard paige's response. "you're distracting me." you heard paige's footstep fading away. "i'll see you soon, rookie." you spoke up loud enough for her to hear. "bye paige."
you put on that navy jersey, and exited the stall to immediately see yourself in the mirror. change. it was such a scary but exciting thing. knowing how you would never put on the uconn jersey again killed you, but made you excited for new beginnings in dallas. you saw the word "DALLAS" across your chest with the number 9, then turned around to see your last name. it made you smile, knowing that this was "you made it" moment.
it was now tip off. you entered the arena with your team and sat down, as the announcers announced the people on the bench, then the starting line up. "a 6-foot guard from los angeles, california, y/n." the arena exploded in cheers as you got up and hi-fived your teammates, then doing a handshake with arike. you saw the fans, wearing your jerseys, holding up signs that had their support of you. it gave you serotonin.
the game started as normal, dallas won jumpball, shots were going up, defense was manageable, it was a good first half, and you were a beast.
however, the spark started to fade. you weren't switching correctly on defense. missed shots left and right, getting face guarded. that's when basketball became started mental, because it had you questioning your ability in that second half.
dallas lost to the fever, 93-113. unhappy faces filled the locker room after the game, knowing you guys could've beat this team. "it's the first game of the season. i know it wasn't the outcome we expected but we can all just learn and grow from this. you all did what i asked you to do and that's what i needed, win or lose. i'm proud of yall." the team stood up for them to be released. "together on me, together on 3" dijonai chanted. "1, 2, 3, together." the team said in unison after 2 claps. you grabbed your bag, jacket, and slides. you changed immediately so you can go home and cry about your performance. however, your emotions didn't want it that way. tears started flowing on your face as you exited the arena and jumped in the car. you cried the whole ride home, questioning why you were even here. you imagined social media and twitter already, picking apart and analyzing every good play or bad mistake you made. you had 14 points, 4 assists, and 2 steals. you knew you were better than this, that you could've assisted paige or arike more, or just simply driven through traffic to get some shots.
you had practice the next day, and you had one goal in mind. make your shots, but something was stopping you. during practice when you had the ball, you froze. it was like you touched a basketball for the first time. you didn't know what to do. you just stood there and dribbled, eventually passing it. it was like you were afraid. like a wave of fear overcame you and started controlling you, like a puppet. coach chris looked at you from the sidelines, confused also. he started to yell. "don't just stand there! move!" but if you did a crossover, you turned over the ball. what was happening to you?
the team called practice off, but you stayed there like normal, working overtime. you got extra shots, but only a handful of them would go in. it made you frustrated, eventually slamming the ball against the floor with all your strength to get your anger out. paige exited the locker room and entered the gym, watching your outburst. "you're losing your confidence." a voice spoke from a distance. you turned around with the ball in your hands, seeing paige with her arms crossed watching you. "just shoot it, don't over think it. don't think twice." she grabbed the ball from you hands and shot it, perfect swish. she grabbed the rebound and handed the ball back to you. you shot a midrange, but missed. you grunted from frustration.
"something is stopping you from being the player you were before. you're not confident anymore. i can see it, anyone can, really." you gave paige a look, as if you were kind of insulted. "what are you on about? i'm confident." paige smirked at you. "nope. you literally hesitated that shot. i saw it with my own eyes." you started to get fired up. you bounced the ball and shot a free throw. "i'm not hesitating shit." you bent your knees, then released the ball from your hands, but missed. paige grabbed the ball and handed it to you, letting you try again. you did your free throw routine. but once again, missed. you turned red from anger. "just be honest with yourself man. you ain't confident. missing easy shots means you don't have confidence."
"you should be the last person to talk about confidence paige. you never had it. you only developed it recently. you miss shots too, paige. i'm not gonna be 100% from the field." paige slowly approached you. "yeah, i might miss shots here and there. but i don't beat myself up about them." she shrugged her shoulders.
she had a point, and you fucking hated it when paige was right. because not only did it make you feel stupid, it made you look stupid. you gave her a glare of envy when arike watched the whole situation. "locker room, both of you. now."
you sat down with annoyance and paige sat across from you. arike and dijonai were in the locker room with both of you, looking irritated. "well." nai started. "obviously both of you don't fucking learn a lesson! so here we are again, locking your immature asses in the locker room once again." arike looked pissed. "and yall were teammates last year? god bless 'em, because i would've transferred if i had to deal with both yalls asses." dijonai squatted, touching her knees as she gave both of you a death glare. "let me make this crystal clear. fix this shit right the fuck now, or get benched for an entire game with silent treatment. your fucking choice." they exited the locked room. "y'all the last ones out. turn off the lights." was what both of you heard echoing before the door slammed shut.
and there it was again. pure silence. silence that was so loud that your ears started ringing. paige broke silence instead, you could tell her attitude wasn't with anger this time. "do you think you're confident?" paige turned her body, facing you.
you looked at her. "yeah, i think so. why?" paige's hand held her head. "earlier at practice i saw you frustrated. why so?"
you didn't have the time to deal with paige today, but she had some tricks up her sleeve. "if you saw me then you should know." your eyes roamed the room, looking at everything except her. paige smirked at your bold response. "it was because you missed all those shots, huh? is that why you stayed longer?"
you shut your mouth quickly. fuck, she got you there. one thing about paige was that she was clever. she was gonna get information out of you one way or another. "and why do you think you missed all those shots?"
you felt ashamed, stupid even. "my confidence.." you trailed off. paige stood up, reaching for your hand to stand you up. "exactly my point. develop your confidence, that fire inside you, so that you don't have to think twice about something on the court, hm? why do you think you don't have confidence?" tension slowly entered the room as paige started to get closer to you. her hand slightly brushing yours subconsciously.
"i have this pressure inside me that i have to be the best and i have to do the most, and if i'm not satisfied i failed it. i failed everything. i wish the public would stop perceiving me as this selfish player and i can drop 30 points in a first wnba game." you felt a weight lifted off your shoulders as it had be weighing you down all this time. paige felt your feelings shift in the air based off your body language.
she held your hands once again, in desperate need. "what did i tell you about the media. you're only a rookie. ignore it. they're trying to get to your head." paige tucked a piece of hair falling out behind your ear, she looked at you with desperation. you suddenly felt a magnetic attraction, like you didn't want to leave paige's side. her hands gripped your waist, like she thought you would disappear if you let go. your face became red and hot, pulse beating faster. paige heard your heart beating faster the closer she got closer to you, pinning you against the wall. she whispered in your ear. "tell me what you want, what you need, ma." her voice low, enough for your body to send a shiver down your spine.
you looked up at her, eyes filled with lust. "you."
she didn't need to be told twice. her lips went straight to yours, tongues dancing with one another as you tasted each other. you felt dizzy, but her lips felt electrifying, as it could almost cure you. she released her mouth from yours, panting filled the air. "you don't know how long i've been waiting for this." she placed her knee in between your thighs, giving you a slight sense of pleasure. you released a soft moan from her touch.
paige scooped you up and heading to the bathrooms in the locker room, placing you down on the counter. your legs spread open for her, as if it was automatic. "pants off."
you took off your practice shorts. paige saw that wet spot in your panties. "wet for me already? fuckin' whore." she took off your underwear with two fingers, gripping your thunder thighs.
she slowly teased your pussy, aggressively slid in two fingers in your hole, picking up the pace every thrust afterwards. "fuck paige, right there." you moaned, as if your voice was leaving your body. "this is what you get for makin' me stay mad at you. fucking bitch." she spat in your pussy, adding more moisture. she lifted your body up, as her fingers were still deep inside you. "ride my fingers baby." you lifted up and down, as they curled inside you, feeling the sweet spot along your walls. "fuck, mmh." she took off your shirt and bra with her other hand, squishing your tits together before sucking them slowly. her tongue played around on your nipple, making you a moaning machine.
"oh my god p, i'm gonna cum." you spoke, throwing your head back. she released her fingers from your pussy. "you don't get to cum until i fuckin' tell you, understand?" you nodded, obeying to her commands. "open your mouth." she brought her fingers in your mouth, letting you taste yourself. you teased her fingers, licking every last drop. "good fucking girl." she said with a smirk. she lifted up your legs, letting them rest on her shoulders. she moved down a little, facing your wet clit. she licked a strip on your fold, immediately leading to you screaming. she drew circles all over, eventually starting to suck and slurp your pussy as if she were dehydrated. "yes, right fucking there." were the only words you could speak from the effect she was having on you.
your pussy was throbbing from the amount of force paige used on you. you hands eventually found her blond curls she let down. she then turned your over, ass up in the air. her tongue went inside you, now fucking you. "faster paige." you screamed. her tongue now entering deep inside of you, tasting your juices all over her mouth. "cum on my tongue baby."
your eyes rolled back as you squirted in her mouth. you felt like your soul was being taken from your body. you moaned her name with such meaning, like you were worshipping her. you tried to catch your breath, turning to see the aftermath of your love. "i've been needing that." paige said, smirking as she looked at your body as if it were art. she wiped the corners of her mouth with her hands. "glad i was able to satisfy your cravings." you smiled at her. she grabbed you down from the counter, placing a hug around your waist while placing sloppy kisses on your collar bone. "get dressed ma. let me take you to my place."
you placed an oversized hoodie on with some sweats and slides and entered her car. it was just like how you remembered. her terrible singing, giggles throughout the air, and the dallas city. how everyone was asleep and you were amazed by the lights all over the town. when paige reached a stop light, she'd place her hand on your thigh, and observe you with a smile on her face.
you entered her place for the first time since she got drafted. marble kitchen countertops with an island, beige couch with a 70" screen tv above a fireplace, a body mirror, and burning candle filling your nose. "since when did you become so clean?" you giggled, looking at paige. "since i got drafted. you don't really have time to be messy once you really enter the real world." paige held your hand and led you to her bedroom, the purple sheets and pillows she always had, her wall of shoes, and her closet that was always full, but managed to only wear the same 6 outfits. you leaped onto her bed, looking up at the ceiling fan. you took a deep breath from exhaustion. "tired baby?" you got up and sat on the edge of the bed, sending her a nod. "you need to relax this evening. let me prepare you something. wait here."
she walked down the hall to the bathroom, as you heard her turn on the fossit. she let the tub get full, then placed a bath bomb and some red rose petals in the water. she burned a lavender candle for relaxation and place it on the sink counter while relaxing spa music played in the background. you waited patiently for paige, wondering what her curious self was doing, until you heard a "babe!" coming from afar.
you got up from the bed, scattering the house like it was a maze looking for paige until you saw her in the bathroom, seeing what she prepared. "is this for me?"
paige nodded. you took off your clothes and entered the water, eventually relaxing and letting your body float. you opened your eyes and looked at the luckiest girl you had. "you didn't have to do this for me baby."
paige messed with your hair. "i wanted to. you deserve it, after everything. i know we cleared the air, but i am so truly sorry for how i treated you back then. i feel like such an asshole still."
"p, i forgive you. and i know you're sorry. why? because you changed your actions towards me. that's more than enough." you up from the wall, as paige started massaging your back, releasing the tension in your muscles just as you were releasing the tension between you both in the past.
"from now on, i will always go to you first than believe some fucker." she smiled, rubbing slow circles with her thumbs from your shoulders to your lower back. you got up from the tub as paige wrapped you around gently in a towel, then placed a kiss on your cheek. she let you borrow her favorite hoodie that smelt like her cologne, and some sweats. she made the bed just for you, as you both lied down, facing each other. she gently touched your face, skin feeling smooth on yours. you blushed at her, as you kissed her nose. "good night baby. i love you." you said, turning around to your side. "sweet dreams. i love you more." she turned to your side and wrapped her arms around you, as if you were her own teddy bear. you both fell asleep soundly, only thing on your minds were each other.
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goldendivinewrath · 2 months ago
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"Don't be afraid." He was one to talk, checking his gun. Loading bullets much, much more slowly than he was truly capable of, but the danger was only drifting at the edges of his senses. Not breathing down his neck, not yet.
Tap, tap, tap. Bullet, chamber. Over and over, rhythmic. Turn, click. Check again. Ready. Hopefully for nothing. He didn't really like to use the thing, y'know? It was a tool, an implement, it was only a weapon in certain hands but it still felt uncomfortably wrong--
Because it felt so right. Perfect in his hand. The weight, the form. "Fear is the-- Ha, nevermind. It'll be okay." Casual, soft, Calm, confident. The things he did not feel.
Had he learned to be a better liar? Mostly to himself.
Aim. Vash drew a sharp breath and obeyed instinct. Obeyed every hard-learned lesson, every scar, every loss, every regret that was and is and will be and raised his arm with a confidence he did feel. Finger on the trigger guard.
Breathe. Dust. Footsteps.
Who goes there?
Identify yourself!
Don't come any closer.
No. Nope, nope, no.
"Ha ha, I hate to be a bother, but would you kindly turn around and go back where you came from so there won't be any violence today? Thanks!"
It took way to much energy not to sigh at himself.
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mushroom-words · 18 days ago
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Intertwining Souls || Poly!WolfStar
Fandom: Harry Potter (Marauders)
Pairing: Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader x Sirius Black
Words: 2054
Notes: As usual, I will fix the formatting once I get on my laptop. And I’d like to thank the lovely @daydreamandforget for not only finding amusement in the boys’ pesky little flea problem in my other work Pest Control but for also inspiring me to explore it a little bit more. Also, if anyone has any ideas or requests for this particular pairing, please feel free to drop them by me. I love Poly!WolfStar with my entire being but have been dreadfully unsuccessful in thinking of situations to write about.
Warnings: Light dom/sub elements. Pet names. Dom!Remus & switch!Sirius if you squint. Reader is referred to as a girl with she/her pronouns but all other descriptions are neutral. Polyamorous relationship (if that wasn’t already clear).
Summary: You’ve been neglecting your sleep to take care of everyone else. Just when Remus is finally able to care for you instead, Sirius tracks in a bigger problem.
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YOU WERE READY to fall asleep right where you were. It was all very lulling—the crackling of the fireplace a few feet away, the scent of cinnamon and sandalwood, the gentle brush of his fingers against your temple, and the cadence of his voice reading aloud to you. Your eyes drifted closed as you let yourself be blanketed in the warm environment.
The last week was particularly draining for you. Between your duties with work and the Order, and caring for Remus through the lunar cycle, you were running on fumes. Your boyfriends were absolutely lovely when it came to helping you through the stress and exhaustion, but it was that certain type of fatigue that could only be nurtured away with time and patience.
Remus paused to check in when he felt your breathing even out. He smiled softly and swept some hair behind your ear to get a better look at your face. The worry lines had smoothed out, lashes delicately brushing your cheekbones, muted breaths pushing past your marginally parted lips as you slipped deeper into sleep.
He debated for a moment whether to let you rest a bit longer in his lap or risk waking you by carrying you to bed. He was just about to put his book down when the front door was prodded open, a black snout nosing it open to make way for the large dog to come indoors. The animal nudged the door shut before shaking himself of the light downpour that had started not five minutes prior to his return.
Remus sighed quietly. “Must you always do that, Pads?” he complained, though a fond note softened the cross tone. “We’ve talked about this.”
Shifting back into human form, the Animagus merely grinned at his boyfriend’s annoyance. “Y’know I can’t help myself, Moons. ‘S in my nature.”
The other man rolled his eyes but let it go. He knew well that with Sirius Orion Black, it was wise to pick your battles—and this wasn’t one he wanted to rehash with you trying to catch up on some well-earned rest.
“Nice run?” he asked, moving his hand to trace his fingers along your arm.
“Definitely.” Sirius absently scratched his head and made his way over to the overstuffed sofa. His eyes drifted to you, adoration softening his jovial expression. “Aww, look at her. Ain’t she just adorable, Moony?” he cooed.
“She is,” Remus agreed, watching as you sighed softly and shifted. “Careful—don’t wake her,” he warned when Sirius reached for you. “She just fell asleep.”
“I’m not gonna wake her.” Sirius grazed his knuckles down the contour of your cheek. Despite his promise, your lashes fluttered at the touch.
You nuzzled against Remus’ legs before prying your eyes open, blinking through the haze to focus on your boyfriend. A sleepy smile notched on your face. “G’morning, Siri,” you mumbled.
Sirius chuckled and bent to kiss your forehead. “It’s late, bunny,” he said. “We should get you to bed.”
“No, no. ‘M awake.” You slowly pushed yourself up, still blinking the sleep from your eyes. The boys chuckled affectionately at your tired state.
“Dove,” Remus cooed, using an arm to bring you into his side, smiling when you melted into him. “You’re exhausted. Let’s get you in bed, yeah?”
You shook your head, dropping it to rest on his shoulder. “Wanna stay with you,” you argued. “‘M not sleepy anymore.”
“Liar,” Sirius crooned, scratching at his head a bit more intensely. He wasn’t even aware he was doing it, but it caught the attention of his partners.
Remus lifted a brow. “You okay, love?”
“Hmm?” Sirius snapped his gaze to him, pausing before lowering his hand. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good, mate.”
You frowned slightly, vision clearing a bit more as you eyed your boyfriend. His fingers twitched across his thigh like he was fighting the urge to scratch, curling and unfurling in increments.
You lifted your head from your other boyfriend’s shoulder. “Siri?”
“What’s wrong, sweet girl?”
Your attention was stolen away from his cautious expression by a small dark speck that abruptly appeared on the sofa. All traces of lingering sleepiness bled from your system when that little fleck jumped away. A twinge of irritation replaced it, breathing acuity into your mind.
Remus’ forehead creased as he tracked the movement. He snapped his attention back to Sirius, studying the way he shifted on the sofa, his nails digging into his trousers as he resumed scratching at himself. His focus honed into another tiny dot crawling on the sleeve of his jumper.
You pinched your lips together. “You have fleas. Again.”
Sirius’ eyes rounded, gaze darting away from you warily. “Don’t be silly, bunny. What makes you say that?” he asked.
“Well, if that wasn’t enough,” Remus said, gesturing towards where he was wildly scratching at his leg, “this,” he continued, reaching forward to pluck the pest with the tips of his fingers, “is enough proof, if you ask me.”
The flea wiggled around in the clutches of his fingers before Remus promptly rolled it between his nails, popping the exoskeleton with precision. He raised his brows at his boyfriend expectantly.
Sirius spluttered for a moment, heat flushing his cheeks. “Well—that’s—how do you know it’s from me?” he argued. “The full moon was two nights ago—it could’ve come from you, y’know! Or—or maybe…”
He trailed off as he clocked the pointed looks from both of his partners, neither you nor Remus particularly amused.
“Okay, fine!” He threw his hands up in the air before scratching at his neck. “I have fleas! It’s to be expected from time to time!”
Remus sighed and stood from the sofa, grabbing the other man’s arm. “C’mon, love. We’re taking care of it before it gets worse.”
He hauled Sirius up and started dragging him towards the bathroom. You watched with mild amusement as Sirius blanched. His fingers grappled at the wall, finding purchase near the doorframe. So dramatic, you mused to yourself with a heavy roll of your eyes.
“We? No, thank you.” Sirius jerked back, causing Remus to halt as his purposeful stride was interrupted. “I can bathe myself, thank you very much.”
You groaned at his theatrics and rose from the sofa. “Not in your Animagus form, you can’t,” you reminded him.
“Well, I won’t bathe in my Animagus form then, will I?”
“Padfoot,” Remus said sternly, though not without an affectionate lilt, “you know the flea shampoo won’t work otherwise.”
Sirius looked back at you as you sidled up to their stalemate, eyes wide and imploring. “Bunny, please, I’m begging you—don’t let him do this to me.”
You leveled him with a dour look. “I’m already gonna have to treat the flat and Remmy again in the morning,” you told him. “Get in the bath—or you can sleep in the garden tonight and we’ll bathe you in the morning anyway.”
A dark look of hopeless betrayal flashed in his gaze. “I can’t believe this,” he pouted. “You two are being unfair.”
Remus rolled his eyes. “C’mon, Pads. Let’s get it over with,” he encouraged, tugging Sirius away from the doorframe. “Dove, why don’t you go on to bed? We’ll be in as soon as he’s defleaed.”
Normally you might insist on helping wrangle the uncooperative Animagus into the tub, but now that you’d have to wake up earlier in order to get the flat in order, you knew it was probably best that you rested for the night. So you nodded your head, covering your mouth just as a yawn broke through, like your body knew that Remus had declared your bedtime.
“Sure, yeah, go right on to bed,” Sirius grumbled. “Pay no mind to my suffering.”
You gave a tired smile. “Your suffering will end once you’re not being eaten alive,” you countered, knowing he always felt better after a flea bath despite how difficult it was to wrestle him into one. “G’night, Siri. Love you.”
“Yeah, yeah. Love you too, bunny.” He continued to moan but couldn’t ignore the wave of affection when you pressed your lips to his in a sweet kiss.
“Sweet dreams, dove.” Remus, maintaining a firm grip on your disgruntled boyfriend, swooped down to kiss you goodnight. “And don’t wait up for us. You need to get some rest,” he added a bit more austerely, giving your bottom a solicitous pat to send you on your way.
You shuffled to your bedroom, looking forward to snuggling beneath the duvet and letting the plush mattress lull you into sleep. But as you settled into the empty bed, you knew you wouldn’t be able to actually kip down without your boyfriends. So you just closed your eyes and listened to their scuffling while you waited.
“This is a cruel and unusual punishment. You’re a bloody sadist.”
“Oh, stop being so dramatic. It’ll be quick.”
“Why don’t you ever have to take flea baths?”
“Because they don’t make baths big enough for werewolves, Pads. Go on then.” A soft laugh interrupted the bickering. “No, kissing me won’t change my mind. Get in.”
“I’ll never forgive you for this.”
“You’ll live, I’m afraid.” A few seconds ticked by, followed by a teasing, “That’s a good boy.”
An indignant, grumbling bark was the response.
You huffed out a fond giggle and rolled over onto your side. Your eyelids felt heavy against your sockets, like you wouldn’t be able to reopen them even if you tried, but sleep evaded you just as you predicted. It was quite pathetic really—you’d become so accustomed to having at least one of your boys with you as you slept that it was nearly impossible to sleep without their warmth curled around you.
It was one of many silly little side effects of loving so deeply your souls intertwined. A love so deep that it completed you, spilling into the pits denting your heart and filling them to the brim and then some. You honestly hadn’t known you could love another person quite so much until the boys graciously showed you.
You’d lost track of time as you lied there mulling over the ridiculous way you continued to fawn over your partners like a schoolgirl with a crush. You were snapped back into reality by the low murmurs and footsteps entering the bedroom.
“You think she’s asleep?” Sirius whispered.
“Hopefully,” Remus replied quietly. “She’s been exhausted.”
“Sweet girl’s running herself ragged.”
Muted shuffling around the space told you they were dressing down for the night. Then, slowly, the bed dipped on either side of you as they finally joined you. Remus settled at your back, draping a gentle arm around your torso and pulling you into his chest, while Sirius crawled to lie facing you, slender fingers running through your hair tenderly.
You sighed contentedly and let a small smile give yourself away.
Remus clicked his tongue when you shifted back against him. “You’re supposed to be asleep, dove,” he whispered, planting a few tender kisses to the slope of your neck.
“‘M supposed to be a lot of things,” you murmured, tilting your head up when you felt Sirius’ fingers glide down your jaw, “but I live to disappoint.”
The boys seemed to move in sync, free hands drifting down to pinch your hip and thigh affectionately. “Oi,” Sirius chuckled quietly, “that’s my job, bunny.”
You hummed and cracked your eyes open, peering at him through your lashes. “Feel better, Siri?”
“I will when you get some sleep.” He shuffled closer, kissing you sweetly, starting with a few on the lips and then traveling to the tip of your nose and finally your forehead. His hand squeezed your hip, thumb tracing idle circles against the curve.
Remus’ lips touched the back of your head. “We all will,” he murmured, tightening his hold on you until you were trapped between your boys—not like you ever wanted to be anywhere else.
You smiled again, sleepily letting your eyes flutter closed once more. “I love you.”
Sirius sighed softly, minty breath ghosting across your face. “We love you too. G’night, pretty girl. G’night, Moons,” he said, stretching over you briefly to kiss the werewolf before settling back again.
“Pains in the arse, both of you,” Remus mumbled fondly, voice low with a sleepiness that lulled you into tranquility. “Now shut up and go to sleep.”
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lollixp0p · 1 year ago
Text
The Video (18+)
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Pairing: Best friend!Hwang Hyunjin x afab!reader
Genre: Smut (MDNI), bit of feelings
Word count: just under 3k!
Warnings: Idol!au, subby!Hyunjin, slightly perv!reader, recording, (maybe a bit dub con because he doesn't mean to send it but reader watches it anyway), mommy kink, masturbation (both but separately), Hyunjin fantasizes about reader, reader fantasizes about Hyunjin, lmk if I missed anything!!
Summary: Hyunjin finally gets some alone time after weeks of hard work and decides to use his time to... relax. The next day he ends up sending you something on accident that sets off a big change in your lives, with or without either of you really realising.
Note: My first ever fic!! :3 Inspired by a video I saw on phub. (@cbini (Ems isn't on Tumblr rn she still wanted to be tagged so I hope it's ok), @comet-falls, @hyunsvngs, @mnwrld and @skz-hell lmao hello everyone, writing blog reveal!!😁 here's this fic I've mention to all of you as an anon<3 (depending on who you are I'm either ❄️anon, 🐾anon or sounding anon😳)). To anyone reading this please give me literally any feedback (comment, reblog, anything!), I want to know if this is good or not since it's my first fic🙏😣
Please do not under any circumstance copy, translate, or repost my works!
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It's been exactly three weeks since Hyunjin's had any time for just himself, though it feels like months at this point.
Recently everyone's been running around like headless chickens and between vocal trainings, dance practices and the studio, there hasn't been much time to just relax and recharge. Preparing for a new album really is the busiest time of an idols life.
There hasn't even been time to see family or friends, which is common during busy spells like this, but always dissapointing to think about. Now even more so, with how much he's been wishing to spend time with you, one of his closest friends... who also happens to be his crush. Not that he'd ever let you know though, not in a very long time.
It feels almost like a blessing, getting back to the dorms from practice late in the evening and realising... he's got the place all for himself, at least until his roommates get back from the studio.
Changbin had messaged him earlier, telling him that they'd probably be there well past midnight, so there was no use waiting up for them. To him though, this was the very opposite of an issue. With that much free time, he'd definitely be able to... make himself comfortable, so to speak.
See, not having time to relax also means he'd basically had no time to get off. The best he'd been able to do had been quick little sessions barely once a week in the shower right before passing out on his bed from the exhaustion of working hard.
The realisation that he'd be able to do anything he wants during his time alone is enough to get his dick twitching in his jeans and he decides the shower can wait until later.
Hyunjin goes to his room and locks the door after himself even though he's alone, it's just become a habit after so many years living with his members. He sets his bag down next to his bed and thinks through his plan.
Hyunjin has a little secret, which is that he loves recording himself do dirty things that range from more vanilla to much less vanilla. Something about the thrill of being recorded even if no one will ever see it just... makes him so fucking horny.
He opens the camera of his phone, puts it to video mode and presses record. Moving his hand off the lense and setting it down where he normally sets it, on the carefully placed pile of books on his desk, he sits down on his bed.
"Hmm... I hope the angle's good... It's been so long since I've had time for this", Hyunjin sighs with a pout and brushes his hair out of his eyes. He knows the camera won't see it though because he's made sure the stand, his pile of books, is at a level that cuts off his head perfectly.
Hyunjins hands run down his body slowly and he exhales deeply, just loud enough to get picked up by his phone. Once they reach his jeans he unbuttons them, unzips the zipper, then pulls the jeans down just enough to expose his underwear. Hyunjin pulls his shirt up over his stomach to be held in place under his chin, rubs his hand over his bulge and hums.
It's been so long since the last time he's been able to take his time making himself feel good. It's almost embarrassing how quickly he's getting hard.
He takes his dick out his boxers and then spits on the palm of his right hand. It's dirty and wet but it just turns him on even more. He grabs his dick with the hand and slowly moves his fist up and down, to spread the saliva and precum all over his dick to make the slide easier and wetter but to also get himself to full hardness.
"A-ah, ohh... that's so good... Feels-fuck, feels so good", Hyunjin sighs. It really won't take him too long to cum, he just knows it. He's been pent up for far too long.
He tries to think of something to help his issue and immediately thinks of you, no matter how embarrassed or dirty it makes him feel.
When you first started showing up in the dirtiest corners of his mind he felt so ashamed. Now it doesn't matter to him anymore. You'll never find out so why feel bad?
He continues to move his hand on his dick while thinking of you. The last time the two of you had time to hang out together you'd worn the lowest cut shirt he'd ever seen on you. He had tried so hard to act normal around you but whenever you bent down he'd been able to see into your shirt.
"Haah, fuck..." , he squeezes himself a little harder at the memory. Everytime you moved he could see your bra poking out from the top, black and lacy. The entire time he'd been doing his best to not bust in his pants. Oh, what he'd give to be able to see your tits. They always looked so soft and they'd probably fit perfectly into his palms.
Whenever the both of you would hang out at yours, watching movies and just hanging out, you never bothered to wear a bra. Why would you? It is your house where you want to be as comfortable as possible.
The feeling of laying down on your couch watching a movie with you on top of him, in just a t-shirt, will end up driving him mad one day. Everytime he'd felt your nipples poking into him he'd almost moaned out loud.
"Hngh... Oh my god, please... m-mommy!", he lets out pathetically, moving his fist faster. God he just wants you to use him, to do anything you want to him. The thought makes him whine desperately.
One of the most common fantasies for him is you on top of him using him to get off, not caring about if he's close or not. You'd sit on his face and ride it until you cum. He could probably cum untouched like that. All he'd need was tasting you and seeing you cum, just for him.
All the sudden he remembers the phone recording him and he shudders. He imagines what your reaction would be to seeing him like this. Would you be disgusted or delighted? Would you tell him what to do and how to touch himself? Maybe you'd touch him... He hopes you would.
"Mommy... please touch me, aah- oh!", he runs his thumb over the head of his cock just right and his thighs twitch but he keeps them open, in perfect view to the camera.
Throwing his head back he imagines you riding him. You'd be so tight and wet around him. Maybe you'd tie his hands behind his back so he wouldn't be able to touch you... he'd really like that. You'd feel godly around him, Hyunjin thinks.
"Fuck, oh fuck! Mommy I'm-haah, I'm so close, please!", his dick twitches desperately. You're so gorgeous, to him you're the sexiest person he's ever seen. He feels himself getting so close that tears spring to his eyes.
"Ah- 'm gonna... mommy, gonna cum...!", he whines out long and loud. It takes Hyunjin two more strokes to let go and he cums the hardest he's cum in weeks. He doesn't even register whispering your name. Hyunjin leans back on his left hand and keeps stroking himself through it.
The feeling is overwhelming, so much so that his thighs start twitching pathetically and the tears in the corners of his eyes fall. He's getting incredibly overstimulated but he keeps going, wanting to keep enjoying the feeling, just a bit more.
He squeezes himself one last time and suddenly everything on him feels gross and dirty. He's just had the best orgasm in weeks so it's no surprise that he came a lot, everywhere. He even managed to get some on his chin.
"Fuuck... Did you-haah... did you enjoy that?", he chuckles to the phone. It takes a while for him to come down from the high, the twitchiness and the feeling of euphoria lingering in his body. Once he's capable of standing up again he stops the video.
With his body feeling like jelly, he takes off all his clothes, drops them into his hamper and prepares to shower, at last.
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Hyunjin wakes up to his alarm the next day feeling more refreshed than he's felt in weeks. He shuts off the still ringing alarm and quickly gets up from his bed to get dressed and go eat breakfast.
Checking the calendar on his phone to make sure he knows his schedule for today, he makes a note of one thing; he'd have a lot of time alone at the dorms today too, since he's only got a dance practice and a recording session today, which obviously means 3racha will stay behind to stress about their songs while Hyunjin can return early. Maybe this time he should continue the latest piece of art he's been working on after he gets back?
Hyunjin gets through the day well enough.
After eating breakfast he messages you a "Good morning pretty <3 please remember to drink water!" like every morning when he has time for it. He gets to the practice room only five minutes late, which is a record this early in the morning, because usually he ends up sleeping in at least ten minutes (which makes Chan scold him for being such a heavy sleeper).
He does well at practice, even though he ends up a little exhausted. That's nothing new though, with how hard they always work to be the best they can be.
The rest of the members leave to take a break but Hyunjin decides to stay behind to film the solo choreography he's been working on for fun. Once he's happy with how it's turned out, it's time for him to go record his lines.
The recording session goes smoothly, without hundreds of retakes and everyone's satisfied with the result. Afterwards they decide to order some take-out, as a reward for a job well done... and also because they're all feeling too lazy to even think about going to the dorms to cook.
While eating Hyunjin finally realises to check his phone again. "Good morning, take care of yourself too!! :)" is your response to what he sent earlier. It's nothing more than a kind response but it makes him grin to himself like the fool in love he is.
"Yaaah!! Hyunjinnieee, what's making you smile so beautifully?", Changbin leans towards him with his signature flirting-with-Hyunjin grin, mouth half full of rice.
"It's nothing," Hyunjin responds back to him cheeks red, "and don't talk with your mouth full hyung... Do you not have any respect?"
Changbin decides to drop it in favor of eating more delicious food.
"Oh come on... we wanna know!!", Han pouts at him from his seat on the couch in the room. Hyunjin shoves another mouthful of food in his mouth to avoid the embarrassement of explaining how a single text messaged from you manages to make his heart beat out of his chest.
Once Hyunjin's done eating he's free to go back to the dorms and just like he suspected the rest of his dormmates stay behind to work some more, although they all whine at him to stay to explain the previous mystery. He declines and they all keep their sad puppydog eyes on him until he's out the door.
He keeps texting you during his ride, all the way to the dorms. Once he's in his room Hyunjin decides to just change into some clean clothes. He's too excited to talk to you and get to painting, he can wash up later.
He lays in his bed to keep texting you and at some point your conversation changes from how your day's been going to talking about dancing and he mentions how he just today filmed a new choreography bit he's made for fun.
❣️:
Can I see what you've been working on? :)
I'm sure it's really good, you always are!!
Jinnie:
Well... since you asked so nicely😉
[video sent]
Quickly sending the video Hyunjin exits out the messaging app, feeling so giddy he can't help but squirm around on his bed. He still can't believe someone like you could be interested in seeing him dance.
It might seem like a small thing for most but he feels himself turning red just thinking about the way you look at him while he talks about something so important to him. It makes the butterflies in his stomach every time you're near go crazy. It's so attentive, like you actually care and are interested in his interests... and maybe even...?
'No' , he thinks to himself. There's probably no way you could ever actually be interested in him, not in the same way he's interested in you at least.
He leaves his phone charging and finally gets out of bed to go to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. He'd need it if he wanted to stay up late to work on his newest art piece.
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Hearing the familiar 'ping' notification of receiving a message makes you open your phone again and just like you thought, Hyunjin had sent you the video of his latest masterpiece of a choreography. Not waiting a second you press the video just to see.... Hyunjin take his hand off the camera and set the phone down on the desk in his room he draws on. He sits down on the edge of his bed and says something, you aren't really sure what, because the volume's too low. In confusion you turn it up more.
Hyunjin sighs and reaches up to move his hair out his face, probably. You can't see it though, because the camera cuts his face perfectly off frame. Suddenly his hands run down his body to the button on his jeans. He opens it and starts undoing the zipper next. You just look at the video in shock. 'He isn't about to... to take them off is he?', you think to yourself, just as he pulls the jeans down enough to expose his white boxers and then palms his bulge.
Should you stop watching? Keep watching? How long has it even been playing? How long does it keep playing? While you wonder this you almost miss Hyunjin pull his hard dick out of his underwear and spit on his palm and... Oh God...
You've now done something you can never take back. The downright sinful view of his cock is something you don't think you're ever going to be able to forget. How do you even face him after this? After watching him grasp his dick in his hand and pump it a couple of times to spread the spit and precum around.
You exit the video, panting and absolutely soaking through your underwear. Your other hand rushes to your face to feel your cheeks. They're burning and feel like you've been standing out in the sun for hours, when in reality all you've done is accidentally watch your best friend play with himself.
You struggle to decide what to do with the video and in the end save the video without much thinking, then delete the message of it and decide to notify him of his mistake. As long as he doesn't know you saved it, it should be fine, right?
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It takes Hyunjin less than 10 minutes to make and get the coffee. He returns to his room humming the tune of a song he's had on repeat recently. Setting the coffee down on the desk and taking his phone off from the charger he notices new messages from you.
❣️:
Uhm...😕
Hyunjin, I don't think you meant to send that.
He looks at his screen confused. What did you mean by that? He...
Oh God.
Did he send the wrong video?
Frantically opening the video he sent earlier he sees himself, in video, move his hand off the phone camera and set it down the desk near his bed and sit down. Oh no...
"Hmm... I hope the angle's good... It's been so long since I've had time for this", video Hyunjin sighs and reaches up to move his hair from his eyes. His head may be out of frame but he clearly remembers pouting while saying this. He watches himself slowly unbutton and unzip his pants, adjusting them so that his boxers are clearly visible in frame. In the video his hand drifts towards his crotch slowly, teasingly.
He quickly exits the video and promptly shoves his head under his pillow and yells. He'd accidentally sent the wrong video while hurrying to get a cup of coffee. How could he have messed up this bad? In his panic, it takes him a moment to respond.
Jinnie:
Oh god
I'm so sorry!!
Please don't watch that!
❣️:
Don't worry!!!
I stopped watching the moment you started unzipping your pants😖
I saw nothing, promise!🙏 It's been deleted already!! 
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Little does he know though, you'd kept the video. You're not really sure why, but subconciously your brain keeps screaming' to finish it later, of course'.
...
Fuck it, you don't think you can wait until later.
Taking a deep breath, you open your gallery to find the video he sent you. You hesitate for a second but press play anyway. You can feel how you're already soaking through your underwear but pay no mind to it yet.
You watch him do the things you've seen already, all the way until he spits in his hand... and you pause the video. 'Is it right to watch this? I mean, he didn't mean to even send it...', you think to yourself.
But the thought of seeing him touch himself, to hear him make the sweetest noises you could ever in your wildest dreams imagine him making drives you on.
Pressing play again you dip your fingers into your pants. You rub yourself over your underwear and oh my god... you can't believe the wetness you feel after less than a minute of watching the video. You focus on the phone you're holding in your other hand and finally move your fingers into your underwear to directly touch your pussy.
On your screen you see Hyunjin start to stroke himself faster, the head of his dick a dark pink, you can feel his desperation through the screen. Without thinking you move your fingers to your clit and start rubbing it in circles, aided by the wetness of your leaking pussy.
He moans out loud and even though you can't hear it through the fog in your head, you know he's desperate. You move your fingers down to your hole and dip two of them in. You're so wet you barely need to even stretch yourself out and then he does it.
"Hngh... Oh my god, please... m-mommy!"
You push your fingers deeper and your pussy lets out he lewdest squelch which in turn makes you close your eyes desperately in pleasure. 'Mommy? When he masturbates he calls out for mommy??', the thought makes you lose your mind. You think about what it would be like if he called you mommy in the throes of pleasure.
You want to make him follow every command you give him. The way he'd look up at you on his knees with you standing above him. Maybe you could make him suck on a strap? He'd look so ridiculously delicious with his mouth full, drool dripping down his cheeks.
You add another finger and start rubbing at your clit with your thumb at the same time. The feeling makes you whimper and imagine his hands on you, teaching him how to touch you perfectly. You're getting so close and you remember to focus your screen again.
Hyunjin looks absolutely disheveled. His dick is red and throbbing, you can tell he's getting close. His voice is another thing that gives him away. He's whiny and his voice keeps cracking every time he opens his mouth. Hyunjin bucks into his hand and moans.
"... mommy, gonna cum...!", he strokes himself twice more and then finally cums. You're so close it's maddening. All the sudden you hear him... whisper your name?
It makes you go off the edge and your entire body clenches and seizes while you silently cry out from all the pleasure you're feeling. Your walls suck in your fingers with how you're clenching around them. On the screen Hyunjin twitches violently, working himself through the end of his orgasm.
You pull your fingers out of yourself and slump down on your bed exhausted, but the last 20 seconds of the video that's now over haunts you. Did you hear him right?
You gather strength to pick up your phone again and rewind the video to the part where he cums and turn the volume almost all the way up. Admittedly you end up fixating on the way his dick looks and face twists in pleasure when he cums and then he says, or more like whisper your name. Your brain blanks.
"Fuuck... Did you-haah... did you enjoy that?", he chuckles to the phone, sits in place for a bit to properly come down and then gets up to stop the video.
You're wet, confused and you can feel your heart beat out of your chest. What do you do now? How can you ever face him normally after that... Does he feel the same way you do? Is he sure he didn't mean to send it?
It's all too much to think about, so you decide that instead of thinking about it you'll clean yourself up and... crawl into a hole where no one will ever find you. Probably. The only thing you know for sure is you definitely won't be sleeping tonight.
© lollixp0p 2024 | please do not under any circumstance copy, translate, or repost my works
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3K notes · View notes
crescenthistory · 7 months ago
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hii 🫶🏻🫶🏻!
im not sure if you've written for james potter before, but if you're up for it, could i request d5 with him? i thought like, reader is a slytherin and she fooled around with barty while she was with james. also not sure if you're okay with writing cheating, (feel free to ignore this is you're not!)
hi lovie! thank you for your request<3 i don't vibe with cheating storylines, but this inspired me to write a one-shot of james pining for reader but thinking she's with barty because they're such close friends. i hope that still scratches your itch!
Prompt: D.5 "But do you love me?" changed into "But you are in love with me?"
Words: 3.7k
Warnings: not proofread, fem!reader, slytherin!reader (sassy/feisty), use of y/n, james pov which includes relentless pining and silly comments, genuine yearning, miscommunication, bsf!barty, slight jealousy/envy, some self-deprecation, background skittles rosekiller and dorlene
The Boy with the Glasses is Blind
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James could have kicked himself.
Despite what some professors insinuate, he is usually quite bright – he just so happens to prefer dedicating his intellect to good-willed humour and pranksting rather than gruelling essays that have already been written a thousand times before. He felt he had properly demonstrated his abilities for creativity and strategy with everything he had pulled off over the years, both the pranks he took credit for and the ones they were never able to pin on him.
Yet, here he was.
Sitting in the Transfiguration class shared by most Gryffindors and Slytherins in their year, where Professor McGonnagal in some horrific – in James' previous sentiments – attempt to bridge some gaps and mend some fences, seated a Slytherin and a Gryffindor together at every table. Sitting beside you, the one Slytherin he had never seemed to fully dislike nor target with his more insidious of pranks, but a Slytherin nonetheless, and attached at the hip with one Barty Crouch Junior.
Yes, here he was, sitting beside you and staring at you with what most look like cartoonish heart eyes.
It was not something he necessarily expected to happen, at least not to this extent. You had always held his interest, a fascinating person from who you were to how you spoke and where you placed yourself in society, but it was easily brushed off in the flurry of everything else that surrounded the young boy. In here, he couldn't escape you as easily, and once he realised just what he had been depriving himself of in his avoidance of you, he couldn't escape you even when you weren't around. To him, you were everywhere.
James Fleamont Potter was falling more head over heels in love with a Slytherin with every passing minute. Sirius would have kicked him blue and yellow had he dared open his mouth and voice what was running through his mind when he admired you. Though, James supposed, some of those thoughts were perhaps best never uttered out loud to anyone.
He really couldn't help himself, he thought, it was all your fault for being so sodding angelically flawless. From the first lesson when you playfully threatened him to "behave, Potter, and not soil my education with your unruliness" with that glimmer in your eyes that felt like it must have been reserved for him from a previous life, he has had to pick his jaw up from the floor whenever your eyes meet. The way you carried yourself with a lightheartedness and crackling self-assurance, the way your hair cascaded around you as you turned to him, the way your occasionally crude words towards him were softened by your exuberant tone, as if you took as much pleasure from your back-and-forth exchanges as he did, but with none of the guffawing – a stronger man would have faltered, and James had no qualms about admitting that for you, he was rather weak.
And then there was the way you grinned with your whole body whenever you spoke to your friends and your–
And therein lies the issue.
No gem can sparkle that brightly and not be picked up and admired. To anyone with eyes, let alone ears, it was painfully clear that one Barty Crouch Junior had already snatched up his Treasure, as he called you. James was too late.
The nickname felt tacky in James' mouth as he silently felt around it, trying to figure out what it would feel like to have you as he does. It felt too cheesy, not elegant enough for someone like you, not perfect enough, though James supposes nothing quite could be. Nor was he any better himself, angels and loves had already slipped from his tongue, only to be laughed away as a quip and not a confession – and he didn't even have the right to, not the way Junior did.
You were seated beside James, he could imagine himself feeling your body heat seeping through your clothes and into his if he inched even a centimetre or two closer to you. He could hear your laughter in his ears, he captured the smile in your eyes with his own as often as he could, but even here, within his direct vicinity, he saw the effect Barty had on you. How the two of you seemed to be able to communicate with limited words, mostly through glances and silly facial expressions from where he sat a few rows ahead, fully twisted in his chair to get a good look at you.
James couldn't blame him. It was how he wanted to turn around and stare at you whenever you were near him as well. That maniacal grin on Junior's lips was something James wanted to resent, but also wondered if he would be wearing himself, if he was allowed to brandish it on you.
Unlike Junior, though, he couldn't. James is not a jealous man, he felt he owed his father not to be, but there were few words to describe the sensation building in his throat other than envy. And, perhaps most painfully, a yearning so significant it ached its way through his bones until he was left pliable and broken.
"You with me, Potter?"
James' smile smacked right back onto his lips, albeit slightly more forced than normal as he forced his eyes away – from what he hoped seemed like Junior's general direction and not him specifically – to lock onto yours. There was a quizzical expression on your face and mirth playing over your lips, your soft, beautiful lips.
"Yeah," James made out hoarsely, clearing his throat. "Early mornin' s'all."
The mirth stretched out into a wide, teasing grin on your face, and although James was certain it was at his expense, it melted his own smile into a more genuine one. "Uh-huh. What's made you so tired? You're usually caffeine incarnated first thing in the morning."
"Are you saying you're missing my usual self, love?" Easy, easy, keep it easy.
"I'm saying you're suspicious," you replied with a gleam in your eyes. "Although, you always are. Perhaps it would be suspicious if you weren't behaving suspiciously."
James laughed a bit too loudly at that, warmth spreading in his stomach. "Don't go philosophical on me, L/N."
"I won't, if you don't go boring on me. Transfiguration's enough of a chore as it is."
Pride bloomed out of the spot envy inhabited in James' throat. Somehow he felt just as guilty for both of them, and was just as unable to suppress it as it flowed into his bloodstream.
"Well, when I know you're missin' me so, I can't very well let my best girl down, can I?"
"What a presumptuous young man," you say, words becoming a whisper as McGonnagal walks in to begin her lecture. Despite your smug smile as you said so, James couldn't help but feel slightly rattled at you pointing out the truth to him.
He righted himself in his seat and attempted to dedicate his attention to the Head of Gryffindor, which, unfortunately, he had never been good at even before his entire mind, body and soul seemed to be possessed by the stunner sitting beside him in class. His eyes kept darting over to you, smiling at your facial expressions, even more so when you occasionally caught his gaze with a smile of your own. A strand of hair fell out of your hairstyle as you cocked your head to look at him. James couldn't decide whether he wanted it to stay messy or if he wanted to be the one to tuck it back in for you. His hands remained drumming on the desk.
He attempted to focus up on the lecture, but poor Minnie's voice simply became droning to him when his nose was filled with the smell of you, making him slightly lightheaded. And Merlin, the way you were biting your lip while you took notes – it was an actual miracle he hadn’t melted into a puddle on the classroom floor by now.
Then, his attention was abruptly captured by a small piece of parchment whirring right past his face to force itself into your hand on the desk. You were shaking, smiling over the lip you were still biting as you opened it.
James – in a totally cool non-creepy fashion, of course – tried to get a good luck at the note, but couldn't without giving it away. What he definitely could tell, though, was how Junior was snickering at you over his shoulder like a hyena. Not the borderline scary snicker James had been victim of before, but a fond one, like you were sharing a secret together just the two of you.
Unable to watch more of your reaction, James looked back onto the desk, willing himself away.
You were never one to allow him reprieve, giving him a discreet poke with your wand. When he looked up, your head was in your hand and you were leaning your head sideways to look at him. “Daydreaming again, Potter?” you whispered.
His cheeks burned. “Not a chance,” he responded a bit too quickly, causing you to smile in delight as you leaned closer to him. His heart gave a particularly hard thud at that.
“Are you sure? Because you’ve been staring at my notes for a few minutes, and last I checked, you don’t even take notes. So it's clearly no ruse to copy me.”
“I take notes!" James tried to retort, but when you levelled him with a stare he just smiled indulgently at you instead. "Occasionally."
"Yeah, you're a total swot, babe," you laughed quietly, shooting McGonnagal a quick glance to make sure you're still being discreet.
He knows you're messing with him, he knows it's just colloquialism, but he would have paid embarrassing amounts for you to call him that again.
"Very well might be, you're quite contagious, angel." The slight snort that escaped you at that probably made his day.
“Uh-huh,” you said softly, for the second time that lesson. “Whatever you say, Gryffindor.”
By the grace of Godric, McGonagall dismissed class before James combusted like he thought he would. He exhaled in relief, but it was short-lived as his nerves shot up as you began to pack your stuff, knowing he won't see you again until dinner. Not that he had memorised your schedule, or anything.
He opened his mouth, hoping to think of something clever and smooth to keep your attention for even a second longer, when your usual company approached your shared desk. He heard Junior's laugh before he saw him, eyes still trained on you, and when he turned Barty, Dorcas and Evan had formed some circle around you, chattering away with a casualness he rarely witnessed up close.
“Tomorrow’s going to be incredible,” Dorcas exclaimed almost-giddily, pulling her scarf up around her neck. “I can't wait to let off some steam finally."
“Oh, I'm sure you will, Cas,” you replied teasingly, pointing a finger at her teasingly. "Asked a certain blonde to join you yet?"
"How about you mind your business, Missy?" She shot back trying to shove your face away, but you dodged, using James' arm as a shield. He felt like a mannequin the way he stood beside you, almost dumbly, frozen by the exchange.
Evan just snickered. “Good luck prying Barty away from the game section, he's still pissy about last time."
"You mean when he gambled away all–" Dorcas was shut up with a quick silencio from Barty, which she quickly fought through and stuck her tongue out at him for.
"Hearsay and goss, I tell you!" Barty declared, shoving Evan aside to come stand beside you, arm circling around your waist. "I almost didn't go this year, I'm only joining because Treasure here practically threatened me to."
"Yeah, how dare you even consider leaving me to the wolves," you retorted to him at the same time as Dorcas murmurs something about "yeah, didn't wanna go because you lost so bad".
"Nah, we can't have that," Barty agreed with you while shooting Dorcas a glare, and then he – to James' utter pain and heartbreak – pressed a kiss to the top of your head while squeezing your hip.
Nevermind that it was a quick kiss, nevermind that you laughed at him. James just saw lips against skin.
Now that Junior was basically cuddling you standing up (James wanted no corrections calling this description an exaggeration), James had gravitated further away from you. He may have lost his mind with this whole lovesickness, but he respected you, your choices and your space. With the way you were throwing your head back laughing with your friends about some plans James didn't even know about, he knew he was not wanted nor needed here.
Pulling his bag closer towards his body, he gave a quick nod to no one in particular and turned around, headed towards the door.
"James, wait up!"
Your voice cut through his mind's ramblings, as it always does, and your use of his first name brought flowers to his vision once more. He turned around, hoping to look mostly casual but he's sure his face was an open book. His eyes zeroed in on you walking towards him, leaving your group of friends and Junior behind, but he heard a telltale laughter and he hoped it wasn't at how stupidly in love he looked with someone he could never have.
James blinked at you in confusion as you stopped before him, but you just wore the simplest smile on your face.
“Want to take a walk with me?” you asked, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"What?" he asked dumbly.
There was mirth in your gaze when you repeated your question. "We both have a free period now, I usually spend it in our common room. But I'm asking if you want to take a walk with me instead?"
James had to physically restrain himself from replying "I know" when you disclosed your habit, while also wondering how and why you came to know his schedule.
He managed to sputter out a response. “Yeah, yes, of course.” He couldn’t quite stop the grin from spreading across his face, and he felt a bit like an overeager puppy, but you didn’t seem to mind. In fact, you looked rather pleased, which only made his heart race faster.
"Enthusiasm gets you everywhere, Potter," you responded calmly, falling into step with him as you led him out of the classroom, leading him down the less-frequented hallways. The road less travelled by.
The two of you strolled down the corridor, side by side, with the chilly autumn breeze filtering through an open window. James wanted to say something witty, something that would make you laugh, but he was mostly in his head, confused about everything that transpired the past few minutes.
"What's that about the fair?" He decided that was safe territory, though he feared having you recount all your plans with Junior there.
"Oh, you have no idea," you started excitedly. James pretended it didn’t cut a bit that he had no idea. "It's this annual fair that Pandora – you know, Rosier – discovered back in fourth. It's got the weirdest, coolest booths and games you'll ever see, with performances from unique professionals. It usually changes every year, last time it was a fire manipulator and a necromancer."
Upon James' quirked brow at you finding fire and necromancy the coolest, you continued. "Come on, you Marauders would have loved it. There's prank ideas and props to last you for months. And there's great food as well."
"Okay, okay," James laughed as he maintained eye contact with you. "I believe you, sounds fun. I hope you guys enjoy it."
If James wasn't as bright as he was, he might have mistook the flash of emotion across your face as a small bout of uncertainty or insecurity.
"Actually, that's something I wanted to ask you about," you started, trailing off as you stopped by one of the larger windows in the hallway, leaning against the windowsill. He followed your example, attention wholly on you. "We have this tradition, my friends and I, that we use the fair as an opportunity to challenge ourselves in some way, do something that... I guess something that scares us."
James just nodded, keeping his attention on you as his heart beats in his chest. Your smile turned a bit rueful.
"That's actually what I was messing with Cas about earlier," you continued. "She's finally asking your friend Marlene out on a date, to go with her to the fair."
That's what you wanted to talk about? James admired you almost more for how dedicated you were to your friends.
"I can tell you without a doubt that Marls would say yes," he reassured you with a smile. "Those two have been a work in progress for ages."
"For so long, it's been physically painful to witness," you laughed. That sound is anything but painful to witness.
James hummed in response, laughter rumbling through his chest as he continued to take you in, scanning your face.
"What are you doing that scares you?" he asked before he could stop himself.
You took a deep breath, chin up in that almost defiant way as you held his gaze. "I'm actually following in Dorcas' footsteps... or I guess perhaps beating her to it, seeing as she hasn't yet."
James blinked at you, clueless as to what you're leading up to.
"I wondered if you wanted to go with me to the fair?"
He felt as if he had been slapped in the face and like he was coming up for air after a long snog. He didn't really know what he felt, just that it was a lot, too much, even for him.
"I'd love to," he blurted out with a breath, words scrambling together. Then, his brows furrowed in confusion as he tried to understand your sentence. "I mean– with me, are you sure? Aren't you going with, erm, with Junior?"
You gave him a puzzled look, cocking your head at him as if he had said something entirely irrelevant. "What do you mean?"
James looked sheepish and couldn’t quite meet your gaze over the sound of his own heart breaking. "I mean, it would be really nice to go with you to the fair, anywhere really, but wouldn't Junior mind?"
"Barty–" You cut yourself off, still looking confused. "Barty's the one who's been encouraging me to ask you out, actually. What are you on about?"
"Why?" was all James could breathe out, world unravelling in a way that made his stomach twist with painful hope.
"Um, because I like you? And unless I have suddenly lost all my interpretation skills, I am quite certain you've been fond of me for quite some time too, Potter."
"I am, but– wait– you are? What?" James guffawed. His intense confusion irritated his skin apparently because he had a sudden urge to scratch the back of his neck, his upper arms and pretty much any other piece of flesh. Maybe the embarrassment could be peeled off that way.
Despite it all, you laughed heartily and, what James was beginning to realise, bemusedly maybe even adoringly at his failure to speak. It seemed like you had pieced together everything he couldn't.
"Yeah, I like you, you sod. Think I just flirt with everyone?"
An "I hope not" lies on the tip of his tongue, but instead he shook his head in admonishment.
"Snake's got your tongue, babe?" you asked him, taking a taunting step closer.
"Looks like it," James mumbled, eyes zeroed in on your face as heat rose to his own. Growing bolder in your declaration, he continued, "I suppose I'm just confused. I always thought you were with Junior? That you two were... in love."
The last words brought a grimace to his lips, like it pained him to say. As if on instinct, your hand shot forward to wipe beneath his bottom lip to coax the frown off his face. His lips parted in shock and suspense at your touch and when you seemed to realise what you had done, you pulled your hand back quickly. You had the decency to look slightly flustered after that, allowing him some semblance of a more even playing field.
"No, James," you whispered with a smile as you shook your head. "Barty is my best friend and I love him with my whole heart. But I never have, and never will be in love with him. Him and Evan have been an item for, like, ages."
Finally, a brilliant smile – one you would later describe to him "shone like the sun" to which he attacked you with kisses because "that's so sodding cute of you to say, you sappy romantic" – took over his face.
Without thinking, he stepped closer to you, hand coming up to brush carefully against your cheek as you looked wide-eyed at his positivity and adoration now radiating off of him. "But you're in love with me?" he whispered with rapture, up to speed at last.
It took you a moment before you chuckled lightly, sheepishly looking down at your feet before once more meeting his piercing gaze.
"How about we start with that date, and see where it goes from there, huh pretty boy?"
So, yes, James most certainly could have and probably should have kicked himself – but right now, he found that he had other business he would much rather attend to.
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zaczenemiji · 11 months ago
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Hi! Just saw your request are open. I thought it would be a great to request a OS of Kenji Sato x Fem! Reader.
I got inspired by that song of "Too Sweet" from Hozier and I got the idea of how good is Reader with Emi, (since she knows he's Ultraman and also raises a baby Kaiju alone) such a Sunshine, even Emi sees her as a new maternal figure, he thinks she's too sweet, getting the idea of having kids with her but having the thought she deserves better.
But she thinks on the contrary, he's such a bad boy with a good heart. If you wanna add more things, it's up to you. I'll leave it to your imagination. Take your time and no need to rush. Take care.
Too Good, Too True
Kenji Sato x Reader
Word Count: 1,456
Genre/Warnings: Established Relationship, Found Family
Author’s Note: Particularly in love with this one, and Too Sweet plays rent-free in my head.
MASTERLIST
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You know everything about Kenji: his past—the reason he’s distant from his dad, his secret—that he’s Ultraman, and his love child the 20-foot-tall kaiju baby in his basement.
You guys have been together for a long while now, even before everyone knew him as Ken Sato, the baseball star—the one whose name dominates the headlines.
With millions of adoring fans, you’re grateful you still have a place in his life. At first, there was a looming thought at the back of your head that tells you how easily replaceable you are.
No matter how you repress the thought, the fact remains that it is true. Who are you when compared to Kenji? You weren’t a model, an icon, a singer, or the daughter of a CEO—like all the other women waiting in line for him.
You were just… you. Simply (y/n) in her soft pastel and floral dresses. You don’t own a lot either, just a flower shop in LA. Your favorite hobby is tending to your garden where you grew the flowers that you sold.
All of your issues regarding this have long been resolved since Kenji has always been quick to reassure you of his love. That to him, everything and anyone else pails in comparison to you. He wishes you knew your impact on his life.
You have always been his breath of fresh air. It started at college during his baseball trainings, he’d wait for a certain girl to pass by. His eyes were always quick to find you among your group of friends.
On his games, you were his number one cheerleader. Your friends and his teammates were always so surprised to see the quiet dainty girl that you were yelling and cheering for his name.
Back when his mom was around, you got along with her so well. Kenji would find you and his mom in their kitchen baking cakes and making cute little pastries.
His mom loved having you around. You were always welcome at his house. When she found out that you were an international student who flew to LA alone and lived in a dorm, she almost wanted to adopt you.
But ain’t no way Kenji wanted to be just a brother in your life.
Many things have changed since then. In becoming a baseball star, half of his life was no longer private. In becoming Ultraman, his responsibilities were no longer limited to that of his career and personal life. And in becoming a daddy to a kaiju baby, he realized you deserve better.
You came over to his house every day to visit Emi. He admired your patience with her and how you were always a ray of sunshine to everyone, including a kaiju. And you’re not afraid of playing with her even if she could literally crush you out of nowhere.
You’d come over with fresh flowers picked from your parents’ garden. You’d make big flower crowns just for Emi and smaller ones for yourself and Mina.
Today was a particularly rough day as Kenji got home from a game. You wanted to accompany him today but he insisted for you to watch over Emi. He has been feeling like shit lately, not knowing what to do with Emi and his declining performance in his games.
Upon passing by the kitchen table, he sees a can of his favorite fizzy drink. Under it, a note. He lifted the can and read, “left this up here so mina won’t see (。- .•)”
For the first time that day, he smiled. You’ve always told him how lucky you thought you were for being with someone as great as him. But the truth is, it’s the other way around.
In one go, he finished his drink so he could immediately head down to see you. You and Mina were too busy playing with Emi to notice him. He stayed at the lounge where he could see you from the other side of the glass.
There you were, beautiful, with flowers adorning your hair. You looked so pure and innocent. Your gentle demeanor had always put him at ease.
Your expressive eyes looked up at Emi in an attempt to communicate beyond words. Kenji loved your eyes. They were always filled with warmth and kindness but when you look at him, all he sees is love.
On the contrary, there’s him. He and his troubled past.
He is distant from his dad, wanting little to no connection with him. If it wasn’t for his mom, he wouldn’t have returned to Japan.
You weren’t like that. You had a good relationship with your parents. You deserve someone who could give you and your future children the same kind of environment you grew up in—peaceful and without the fear of the possibility that one day, your husband might not come home.
He worries he’d be like his dad, absent. He is Ultraman now. His duties would one day require him to be away, sometimes without notice and for extended periods. You deserve someone who can be there for you consistently.
He is constantly under the scrutiny of the public eye, both as Ultraman and the baseball star that he is. And the public is not often gentle. You deserve a private and peaceful life, away from the criticisms of society.
Kenji loves you dearly, he really does. But oftentimes, he thinks he’s not the best person for you. He thinks you deserve someone who can offer you a simpler and safer life.
Too deep in his thoughts, he failed to notice you enter the room. The kiss you gave on his cheek pulled him back to reality.
“Tough day?” You asked, sitting beside him on the couch.
“Yeah,” he nodded. “But I’m okay now. You’re here now.” He turned to look at you, his rest.
“Would you like to talk about your day?” You asked, reaching out to brush strands of his hair away from his face.
He shook his head. “I’d like to hear about yours first.”
You smiled, excited to tell him what you planned on doing. Since he’s staying here in Japan for good, you thought you would too. The flower shop in LA would be left in a good friend’s care. And here, you thought of working as a kindergarten teacher. You had doubts before but after being able to take care of Emi and enjoying it, you were now sure that this is the kind of job for you.
Kenji’s expression shifted upon knowing this. A shadow of doubt crossed his face. “What’s wrong?” you asked. “Do you not approve?”
“You deserve better,” he said, eyes falling downward before turning away to lean properly on the couch.
Confused, you leaned back as well. “Better job?” You asked. “Kenji, I think this is the bes—“
“Better than a guy who’s got a kaiju baby to take care of and a past, present, and future that’s complicated,” he continued his earlier statement, cutting you mid-sentence.
You were shocked. You never expected him to feel this way. You felt bad because for every time he assured you of his love, you failed to realize that he needed reassurance too.
“Oh no, Kenji,” you said. You turned his face to look at you, cupping it with both of your hands. “You’re a good man.”
“I’m worried, (y/n),” he said softly. “I worry that I can’t give you the life you deserve.“
He wants to marry you, he truly does. He dreamed of having children with you, teaching them, watching them grow. And when all is done, living the rest of his life with you.
When he passes by jewelry stores, he always thinks of you. He’d get in, and browse their selection of rings, but thinking of how you’re too sweet for him holds him back from buying.
"You're the best man for me, Kenji. Not despite your past and your duties, but because of them. They've shaped you into the person I love,” you told him.
“You're a wonderful father to Emi. And if you ever wanted more—if you ever wanted us to be more,” you leaned in to press your forehead on his. “I know you'll be an amazing father because of how you love me every day.”
Kenji closed his eyes, leaning into your touch, the tension slowly leaving his body. "You really believe that?"
"Every word," you said softly. "You are my home, Kenji. As long as we're together, I'm not afraid of anything."
He opened his eyes, looking at you with a mixture of relief and gratitude. "Thank you, (y/n),” he said. “I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You'll never have to find out," you replied, pulling him into a tight embrace.
Taglist is open! Comment if u wanna be tagged on future Kenji oneshots
@flowerloves
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rotagnus · 3 months ago
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what kind of a father/husband will/would he be? fs/person of interest reading.
pick a pile from the first row for what kind of a husband he will be.
pick a pile from the second row for what kind of a father he will be.
you can choose different piles from each row. if two number 1s align with you, f.e, that is fine as well.
pile 1.
this man will do anything to give you the world. he'll probably be more of a blue-collar worker. you might come from countries that are more traditional and place a high value on culture. something about him will remind you of your childhood--maybe the dreams you had of marrying someone like him, maybe the hope and childlike view of the world you had. i think that you'll probably have a strong relationship with him because he'd be there for you when nobody else was. he may come with the same culture/childhood as you, too. you guys understand each other very well. he probably wants children, not too much, but he may have been an only child/younger child who wasn't exactly supported, and he wants to give his kids the childhood he didn't get. he may be away for his job, but you're his world, and he would always check up on you.
pile 2.
oou he's gonna adore you! i think he's gonna be working in a more technological field...computer sci or maybe some kind of stay-at-home work. he's probably more modern in his views unlike pile 1, and he's gonna shower you with compliments and gifts--he may not have come from a place of acquired wealth, and he saw how hard his parents worked to give him a good childhood. he has a deep appreciation for hard workers, and he admires you for how hard you work. you hustle!! he treats you like a queen. i think you guys are the kind of couple who visit friends on the weekend--you don't let the adult life stop you from being happy. with him, you'll feel free; you will never be a caged bird.
pile 3.
you're gonna have a good family. i think you'll probably have kids, and this man might want them even if you don't, so that might be something you guys clash about...if not, then yay! you guys will create a long, powerful family tree. every morning he's going to wake up and kiss your face. i think your husband is a very ambitious person and he gets what he wants, no complaining about it. he can be a bit arrogant, but you're able to contrast his bad qualities and he does the same to yours. he probably looks different than you--you guys may be from different cultures/areas of life, which may cause some trouble between your extended families, especially if they're narrow minded, so be careful of that...however, you guys will mesh together will. you might live in a city later on in your life.
---------------------------------- onto the paternal reading.
pile 1.
this father might be a little awkward around his kids--whether this means he doesn't spend a lot of time with them, or he just isn't a person who's exactly good with children, he's still gonna try. he ain't gonna be like your usual absent fathers, but he might need some encouragement. he may have had a funky childhood himself, and with your encouragement he'll help out. y'all may have had your kids early, which adds to this feeling. be careful not to get caught up in material things--he might want the best for your kids and spend all his time working because of it.
pile 2.
awww he's gonna be one of those silly dads who also cares a tremendous amount about his kids. he's a very vibrant person, and there's something youthful and childlike about him even though he's older. he gets along well with kids, so he's gonna be a good dad. fierce, protective too. he won't let anyone disrespect the kids or you. he'd pull the sun to the earth for his family--the true definition of a family man. you can rest assured that this family will be one that knows effort and knows good morals.
pile 3.
oouu this is a smart smart man. probably got good education, if not then he educated himself. he's a go-getter, and he inspires this quality to learn within your kids, too. he knows how important knowledge is, and he does his best to ingrain this quality in your children. however, due to his fears of the world, he may pass that to your children, so you guys may need to have a talk about that. other than that, he's very stable and he probably won't be the kind of man who would lash out. he may have some faith and pass it on to children, depending on what your faith is and what you guys think about it.
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stevesherdaddynowlover · 11 months ago
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pet names and looped pinkies [s.h.] 18+
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hiiiii so i've never written for steve but just did a stranger things rewatch and have felt...inspired. i hope you enjoy! pls feel free to send suggestions or concepts or anything :) thanks for reading!
masterlist
summary: steve is your best friend and you have a crush on him and that's fine until one day it's not and the next thing you know you can't think or speak or breathe around him. (steve harrington x fem!reader)
warnings: loooots of pet names, fluff, pining,cursing, kissing, m masturbation, dirty talk, handjob, spitting, tiny bit of cum eating :))) 18+ ONLY!! MDNI
wc: 6.4k
part 2 here!!!!
You and Steve had been friends for quite some time now. 
Going from quietly watching him throughout high school, maybe quietly crushing on him too, to fighting monsters and trying to survive could do that to people. Make them friends, that is. 
The crush you’d been harboring on Steve didn’t go away, oh no if anything it had gotten about ten times worse in the time you’d spent growing close. That Steve you knew in high school was long gone. The, for lack of a better word, asshat you had come to blush over had turned into a protector. A funny, endearing, unnervingly hot protector that made your tummy flutter and your palms sweat. 
It didn’t help that he seemed completely unaware of your feelings, or that the things he did made your heart race and your cheeks turn pink. Linking his pinky with yours while you strolled around town, letting his thumb mindlessly rub circles on the little sliver of your stomach that was visible during movie night, giving a little tug on your hair when you said something cheeky, letting his dimple pop out when you teased him. 
And the pet names. God, the pet names! Maybe he did know! Maybe he wanted to torture you and make you squirm. They slipped from those perfect pink lips so effortlessly it kind of pissed you off. 
“Hey honey, how was work today?” 
“Sweetheart we’re gonna be late for the movie and I will not be blamed when we don’t have time to grab your snacks.” 
“Any chance you wanna pick up an extra shift and spend some time with me? What do you say, pretty?” 
He had the hair, the smile, the charm. You imagined it would be hard for anyone not to fall madly in love with him. It was surely hard for you! Steve did a good job of turning you to mush. It was hard to think around him, even harder to not think about him. 
Which is why you’re really struggling now, smushed on a far too little couch with 3 other people, your thigh pressed so tightly against Steve’s it’s making your head spin. It’s movie night, a tradition you’ve picked up and held onto tightly amidst all the craziness that happens in your small town. Steve is on your left, stuck between the arm of the couch and you. Robin is on your right with Eddie next to her and Jonathon next to him. A couch meant for 2, maybe 3, but all 4 of you packed on while the rest of your friends lounge on the floor or a chair, eyes all focused on the screen. 
Almost everyone’s eyes are focused on the screen. 
You’re staring straight ahead, sure! But while a movie that you now can’t even remember the name of is droning on, all you can think of is how your hip is touching Steve’s. Or how his pinky has somehow found yours again and they’re looped together on his lap. Or even worse, how he’s got his head resting on your shoulder and you can feel little puffs of his breath hitting your neck everytime he laughs. 
It’s driving you crazy, your hand not in his twitching by your side and your chest rising and falling a little faster than it should be while watching a comedy with your friends. You’re so distracted it takes you a few minutes to realize that Steve is no longer watching the movie, but is now focused on you and how uncomfortable you seem to be. He gives a small tug to your pinky, drawing your eyes to meet his and you’re so overwhelmed with him right now you could cry at the furrow in his brow and the small pout he’s wearing looking at you. 
“Y’alright, baby?” You can see his genuine concern at the state of you but all you can focus on is trying not to let a small whimper through your lips as you hear him call you baby. Not being able to look at him for more than a few seconds you drag your eyes away from him, a small huff leaving you while you shake your head, mainly at yourself. “I, uh m’fine. I’m fine.” Neither of you are convinced, you know that, but you can’t find it in you to care at the moment when all you can think about is taking his bottom lip between your teeth. 
He studies you once more, eyes taking you in quickly as he reaches up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear. His hand lingers around your neck a second longer, two fingers giving you a little pinch before he’s drawing his hand back to his lap. You find yourself staring far too long at his hand, wondering what it would feel like if he swiped his thumb over your bottom lip. Or if it would be as good as you imagined to have him slip that same thumb past your lips, pressing down on your tongue, wearing that same smirk you’ve seen a thousand times.
Fuck fuck fuck. You’re so fucked. 
As soon as the thoughts come, they’re gone because the next thing you know you’re using his and Robin’s thighs as leverage to jump up from the couch, turning to face everyone with red cheeks and a forced smile. 
“So I, uh, I gotta go! Just remembered mom wanted me home early tonight, some, uh, some family thing going on. Yeah that’s it. Family thing!” Everyone is staring, eyes wide with confusion written all over their faces. You love movie night, never miss it let alone leave early. 
You don’t give anyone the chance to question you before you’re bouncing up the stairs trying to pull your shoes on as quickly as possible. You know he’ll be right behind you, asking you what’s wrong or offering a ride home. You both know you’re full of shit but you can’t find it in you to care right now, too focused on getting away from him before you do something crazy like kiss him. 
Steps away from the front door you think you’ve made it. Can almost feel the relief of the cool breeze cooling down your skin that seems to be burning up from where Steve was touching you. You're so close, less than a foot away when you realize you weren’t quick enough. 
A hand wraps around your forearm, a large calloused hand that you’d know anywhere. Shoulders slumped in defeat and you turn to face him, not all the way because you don’t think you could handle it, but enough to acknowledge his presence. “Harrington, I gotta go. You know how my mom is, this’ll be held over my head for weeks if I’m late.” Lies. All lies. Your mom fully expects you to sleep at Robins tonight. He’s quiet for what feels like hours but is really only seconds before he speaks, “Let me give you a ride then. You’ll be home in less than 5.”
Now you know that cannot happen. You cannot be in his car that smells like him. You cannot watch the way his hands grip the wheel, and you know you won’t be able to look away. You cannot be locked in a car with him where you know he’ll try and figure out why you’ve been acting so weird tonight. And honestly you just cannot be around him right now without feeling like you’re going to faint. 
“No, no, don't worry about it, it’s a quick walk and I could use the fresh air! I’m feeling a little…off right now anyways so I wouldn’t mind being alone. Go finish the movie! Love you, see you, have fun!” And before he can react or try to argue with you, reaching up on your tiptoes you plant a quick kiss to his cheek, lips tingling as you turn and run out the door, hoping to god or whoever is listening that Steve doesn’t come after you. 
What you don’t see as you’re running down the sidewalk is your best friend standing in the doorway with his hand hovering over his cheek where you just kissed him and a blush crawling up his neck as those quick seconds play on a loop in his head for the rest of the movie. 
 ****************************************
It’s been a few days since movie night. The night you’re refusing to think about but also the one you can’t seem to get out of your head. More specifically the sound of Steve calling you baby and the feel of his fingers brushing against your throat. 
Well you’ve tried not to think about it. 
You’re not sure why this is happening now. You’ve liked him for as long as you can remember so why all of a sudden do you feel like panting when your skin touches his? Why now are his little smirks and pet names enough to bring you to your knees? Over the years you’ve done good, so good, at keeping yourself together in front of him, letting his comments and flirting roll off your back. But now…now you can’t be in the same room without wanting to tug on his hair or leave marks on his chest or feel so desperate to taste him that it drives you insane. 
You don’t know what caused this switch to flip but it fucking sucks. It sucks because besides all of that, he’s still your best friend. Yeah, it’s ungodly how hot he is but he’s also still the guy who buys you your favorite ice cream when you’ve had a rough day, who goes to see scary movies with you when no one else will because you’re the only one that likes them. He’s saved you, cared for you, loved you for a few years now and honestly that just makes it worse! 
He’s mouthwatering AND a good guy. Fuck him for that. 
In the few days since you’ve seen him he’s called. 11 times? Maybe more. And you’ve been conveniently in the shower or asleep or anything else your mother can make up while you try and figure out what you’re going to say to him. The problem with this is that the longer you avoid him, the more awkward and hard this is going to be. 
So when you wake up today, 4 days after movie night, you decide it’s time to be a big girl and talk to him. Not about your feelings, god no! But it is time to at least try to be normal around him and to stop avoiding him. You already know he’s gonna look like a kicked puppy, big brown eyes staring down at you while you try and justify not talking to him for days. You’re fucked. So fucked. 
Walking downstairs you hear the phone ringing and your heart drops. Maybe you’re not ready for this. Maybe your family can just move! That should work. You’ll miss everyone but honestly this seems like your best option at this point. 
Your dad is gone for the day, your mom is standing at the counter with her purse on her shoulder like she’s about to walk out the door with her mouth open, ready to give Steve yet another excuse to why you can’t talk to him. But you’re brave. You’re a big girl who can handle a phone call with your best friend. Your hot best friend you're madly in love with and want to climb like a tree. 
Your hand is out and reaching for the phone before you can talk yourself out of it, a sigh of relief leaving your mother as she practically throws it at you, running for the door before you change your mind. It’s by your ear for a good few seconds before you hear him, his voice raspy and deep so you know he’s just woken up and it makes your whole body buzz. 
“Hello?” 
It’s now or never. Never sounds nice. “Hey! How ya been? How’s it going? How was the movie?” The questions pour out of you so quickly you’re not sure he can even understand what you’re saying but you hold your breath and wait anyway. 
“How’s it going? Are you kidding me? Fuckin’ Christ! You’ve taken about 12 showers in 4 days and couldn’t be bothered to talk to me, why don’t you tell me how it’s going.” So he was upset. Totally fair. 
“Don’t be mad at me, please.” It was the first thing that came out of your mouth and you knew it was stupid but you couldn’t help it. He deserved to be mad at you, to yell and cuss and whatever else he deemed fit. But now that you had heard his voice again for the first time in days, the thought of him being upset with you made you want to cry, even though you had done this! 
You heard him take a deep breath and knew he was running his hand through his hair, tugging on the ends the way he always did when he was stressed. “M‘not mad, sweetheart. I mean, maybe a little but I was more worried! That something had happened or I had done something or…I don’t know. Was just worried sick and…god I just fuckin’ missed you.” 
Had you mentioned that you were fucked? His words hit you a ton of bricks, any thoughts you had about moving on or maybe distancing yourself gone in an instant. Because he was worried. And he missed you. He fuckin’ missed you. And god you loved him so much it hurt, so much you could feel it in your fingertips and toes like little zaps of electricity when you thought of him or heard his voice. 
You were gone for Steve Harrington. 
“I..m’so sorry, Stevie. I missed you too, so much and I’m so sorry and I’m just…I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong, you never do! I’ve just been a mess and my minds been a mess and I thought some time to myself would help me but really it's just..it doesn’t matter. What matters is I’m sorry and I missed you.” 
“S’okay, bunny. You alright? Can talk to me about anything, you know. I’m not…I know I’m not always the best at this stuff but I’d be good for you. I’ll listen to ya all day, do whatever I can to help you. Wanna come over? Movie night just the two of us? I’ll order you pizza and get you extra buttery popcorn and some ice cream, promise.” 
The thought of being alone with Steve sends red lights flashing through your brain but when he sounds so…god when he’s saying all the right things in a voice you’d dare describe as whiny you can’t help but to want to drop everything and all but crawl to him. 
So at the expense of your sanity you agree quickly, promising you’ll be there by 8 o’clock and hang up the phone before he can call you sweetheart or bunny again running up the stairs to take the coldest shower you’ve ever taken that does nothing to erase the thoughts of Steve from your mind. 
  *****************************************
The walk to Steve’s was surprisingly calm. You weren’t freaking out completely, just a little nervous but that was nothing new to you when it came to spending time with Steve, especially alone. 
Unfortunately for you, that calm lasted for all of about 10 minutes. 
In theory it was a good idea to spend some time with Steve after ignoring him for days. It was an okay idea to agree to a movie night with your best friend. Was. 
But now that you’re standing on his porch and his door was just thrown open to reveal a freshly showered Steve, it seems like all of this was a horrible idea. 
An awful, terrible, horribly bad idea. 
Awful because you can see little beads of water from his freshly washed hair dropping and running down his throat. Awful because the urge to lean forward and run your tongue over them is so strong you swear your mouth waters a little bit. 
Terrible because he’s wearing that goddamn white t-shirt that is hugging his arms so tight and since when did his arms start to look like that? Awful because that same damn shirt is tight over his chest too. It fits him so well you can see it snug against his tummy and waist. It fits him like a glove and your hands clench at your sides to keep from touching him. 
And this is bad. So horribly bad because he’s wearing his favorite pair of light wash denim jeans that cling to his thighs so nicely you feel your knees wobble. One of your hands comes up to your mouth to run over your chin, subconsciously making sure you’re not actually drooling despite the way you wish you could drop to your knees and spend hours leaving marks on those thighs. You can’t see his ass and you’re praying to god he doesn’t turn around so you don’t have to suffer through seeing how his jeans hug him just right. 
While your mind is running a million miles a minute with thoughts of Steve, you realize you actually haven’t said anything. Haven’t made a move to greet him or walk in, instead just standing there with what you imagine is a slack jaw and wide eyes. Willing yourself to meet his gaze, you somehow manage to drag your eyes off his thighs and bring them up, up, up until you meet his. 
He definitely does not look like a kicked puppy right now. Those brown eyes are darker and he’s wearing a smirk that would make you do anything he asked. He cocks his eyebrow at you, amusement clear in his face as you try and collect yourself. 
“You look starved, honey. Wanna come in?” 
   *********************************
After the initial embarrassment wears off, you feel a little better. Somehow managing to brush off his teasing as if you weren’t just devouring him with your eyes, you follow Steve to the kitchen, laughing as he tries to balance all the snacks he’d bought for you in arms. He shot you a glare full of playfulness when you tried to help, insisting that he “was a big boy and could handle the snacks.” 
Now you find yourself on that same couch from last week, much more space between the two of you than there had been then, a good foot and half extra in fact. Steve laughed when he saw you practically throw yourself to the other end of the couch, hand reaching out for you with a little pout on his lips. “Think I’m gonna bite you or something?” God I wish. Please please please bite me! 
But instead you held out your hand reluctantly, fingers twisting with his as he tugged you toward him. Movie night flashed in your head. His clothed thigh just inches away from yours, arm thrown over your shoulders and a cheeky grin on his face as he pulled you into his side. A satisfied hum was heard and you could have sworn you heard him mumble under his breath, sounding a lot like “much better” but it was hard to hear anything with the smell of him clouding your senses. 
Trying to get your thoughts off of him you reach forward to grab the dvd case laying on the table, a small smile gracing your lips as you see what he had picked. “John Carpenter's Halloween. I thought you said you’d never watch this?” This time when you turned to him, he was the one with red cheeks and shy smile as he glanced between the movie and you. A small shrug and wink was thrown your way, “S’one of your favorites. You should know you’re the exception to my rules.” 
You’re fucked. 
Heart pounding in your chest all you could manage was a smile and a small “thank you” before turning away, hoping he’d get up and start the movie so you’d have something to distract you from how sweet he was, watching a scary movie you know he doesn’t want to watch just because it’ll make you happy. 
It was about halfway through the movie when it happened. 
Everything was going well! You were snuggled into his side, actually paying attention to the movie and not sitting there distraught over being so close to him. You were so invested you hadn’t noticed your hand slip to his thigh during a scene that had made you jump. 
But Steve noticed. 
Too engrossed in your movie to see how your hand was holding his upper thigh and it definitely would have been too high if you’d been paying attention. You didn’t notice this or the way Steve was now on red alert, whole body tense with his hand gripping the couch cushion and his eyes trained on your hand as if to make sure he wasn’t imagining it. 
He could do this, he could ignore your hand and let you watch your movie. It would be fine. He’ll just slip into the bathroom when it’s over or wait till you go home to take care of his now aching cock. And god was he aching. He didn’t dare move, too nervous that you’d get all weird and fidgety like you’d been. This was the closest you’d been to him without seeming freaked out in weeks and he was not about to ruin that. 
The smell of your lavender shampoo overwhelmed him, a groan threatening to spill out while you sat there so unaware of how beautiful you looked just existing. He noticed everything about you. The slope of your little button nose and the way your lips, your perfect pink lips, parted just so when you were lost in thought. He noticed how your cheeks would turn the prettiest shade of red when he called you baby or honey or sweetheart. And he loved it, craved it even. He couldn’t tell if it was because of him or if you were just a sensitive little thing in general. He’d take what he could get with you, even if he had to live off your rosy cheeks and holding your pinky for the rest of his life. 
“Fuck, honey, m’sorry but you have got to move your hand, please.” Steve’s voice in your ear so suddenly made you jump, a small yelp leaving your lips as you turned to see what he was talking about. You didn’t even realize you were touching him! But one look down at this thigh and you gasped, cheeks burning as your eyes moved from your hand clinging to his thigh over to now very noticeable bulge straining against those light wash jeans. Ripping your hand away as if he’d burned you, a string of curses and apologies flew out as you scrambled to move as far away as possible. 
If he looked pained with your hand on his thigh then he looked downright miserable now that you’d taken it away. “Don’t have to run away from me, honey. M’sorry, didn’t mean to scare you I just…fuck I couldn’t sit still with you holding onto me like that.” He did his best to tug you back and you let him. “Sorry, Stevie. I wasn’t…I didn’t, I was just watching the movie I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” 
He looked at you with furrowed brows, eyes jumping all over your face like he knew something you didn’t, like he knew something you should know. Neither of you said anything, just stared at each other for some time before he sighed, letting his head fall back against the couch before coming back to look at you again. 
Hand cradling your cheek he gave you a small, tired small like he couldn’t believe you could possibly make him uncomfortable. That is not the word he would use. “Silly girl, I’m not uncomfortable because your hand was on me. I’m uncomfortable because your hand on me is making me wanna pin you down and fuck you so hard you can’t think straight.”
Oh. Oh. 
Lips parted you just stared at him, not sure you’d be able to form a coherent thought let alone words right now. He wanted to fuck you? Since when? Why hasn’t he ever brought this up? Doesn’t he know you’d do anything he asked of you? 
Steve let you process, could see the gears turning in that pretty head of yours and your eyes switching from looking at him to looking at where his cock was pressing up against the zipper of his pants. Maybe he’d said too much, gone too far. He was almost certain now that you liked him, wanted him, but maybe it was too overwhelming to be so blunt with you. 
“Y’know what baby? I can see you freaking out and I didn’t mean to make you nervous so I’m gonna go to the bathroom, alright? Gonna take care of this real quick and then we can finish the movie, can start another one if you want. I’ll be right back and we can figure this out later.” It was him getting off the couch that broke you out of whatever spell you were under, hand wrapping around his arm and if you weren’t so desperate for this, for him, you’d be embarrassed by the look of panic in your eyes at the thought of not getting to see this, to make him feel good. 
“Please stay. Just…fuck just stay, okay?” 
Both of you paused, staring at each other and waiting for someone to move or to breathe or just do something. A soft “okay” was murmured between you, Steve settling back into the couch as you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Fuck was this really happening? 
“Whatever you want to happen can happen, baby.” 
You definitely didn’t mean to say that out loud but now that you had, a little burst of courage hit you and you just let it pour out. “Didn’t mean to say that out loud I just..I didn’t…I’m nervous. You make me nervous. I want this. I want this so bad you have no idea but I didn’t know you wanted this so now my head is fucked and I’m rambling and kinda freaking out but you can stay. You can stay and I can watch or I can help or whatever you want just..stay. Ok?” You dared a glance up at Steve, his eyes wide and a grin broke out on his face. He looked as if you’d just handed him the moon not offered to watch him get off. 
Taking your hand in his he gave you a squeeze, “We’ll go slow. I can start and you can watch and if you wanna do more, feel fucking free, honey. But if you don’t, that’s fine. If you want me to stop, say the word. You’re in charge here,” he paused, lifting his hand to take my chin between his fingers so I’d be forced to meet his eyes, “and for the record, there hasn’t been I second I've known you where I haven’t wanted this. I’ll take anything you give me, swear it. Whatever you want, any way you want.” 
“Kiss me, please.” 
He didn’t need to be told twice, moving his hand to cup your cheek and pulling you toward him, his lips pressing against yours soft at first, testing the waters and trying to keep you calm. His lips were just as soft as you’d imagined, sweet like the candy he’d been eating earlier. You groaned against him, pushing closer and opening your mouth to invite him in, the thought of his tongue on yours enough to have you reaching your hands into his hair to tug him closer, closer until there wasn’t an inch of space between you. 
He pulled back first, a string of spit connecting the two of you and he cursed at the sight, “Jesus, fuck I can’t believe you’ve kept this sweet, pretty mouth away from me. S’not nice, baby. So mean to me, yeah?” If you thought you were desperate before it was nothing compared to now, now that you’d had a taste of him. 
“M’sorry Stevie, so sorry, not gonna keep em from you anymore. Promise, promise, promise.” You’re barely making sense, your head spinning and your body on fire. Foreheads pressed together you tried to catch your breath, but you couldn’t think or breathe or function when he was this close to you with his swollen, spit kissed lips just inches away from yours. 
Coming out of your post-kiss haze you move back beside Steve, eager and desperate to finally see him, all of him. His eyes widen as your hands go to the button of his jeans, tugging relentlessly and you're just so cute he has to laugh. Eager too and fuck how did he get so lucky?
“Take em off, please. Want them off, Stevie.” You’re full on pouting now and it takes everything in you not to cry. You’d do it if he wanted, you’d do anything. But he doesnt let it get that far, taking your hands off his jeans and cooing at you and it makes you feel a little pathetic but you can’t find it in yourself to care, not when he’s about to finally pull down his pants. 
He does so wordlessly, eyes bouncing from his lap to your face every few seconds like he’s checking in on you, making sure he’s not missing anything and that you still want this. It makes your tummy flutter and your heart race, his caring for you. His pants pushed down to his knees is all he can manage, head too fuzzy thinking about you and how he’s so hard it hurts worse than it ever has.
As soon as his jeans were out of your way you were staring, gawking really, at the white boxers sitting so prettily on his hips that were doing nothing to hide how hard, how big he was. A small wet patch forming where you know his tip is resting and it makes your mouth water. He’s just so hot. So hot and it makes it even better that this is because of you. Fuck.
A beg was on the tip of your tongue but before you could he put you out of your misery. Lifting his hips up you had to dig your nails into your palm to keep still while he pulled his boxers down, pretty, messy, cock slapping against his stomach. “Jesus fucking Christ, Steve! You’re so…I’m…fuck.” He breathed out a laugh which quickly turned to a wince when we saw how you were looking at him, at his cock. He felt himself twitch under your stare and you swear your mouth just fell open as if it was meant to be. 
His hand drifted towards his cock, eyes still on you to make sure you were okay. You gave him a nod and the sigh of relief you both had when he finally wrapped his hand around himself would have made you laugh if you weren’t throbbing. His head fell back against the couch and you were torn between watching him touch himself or watching his face while he did it. The former won, your eyes trailing the way his hand moved slowly, teasing the both of you. 
“S’pretty, you’re so pretty…” You’re not even sure you were talking to him, more just to yourself but he heard you nonetheless. His hips jerked at that, a small moan slipping past his swollen lips as he turned his head toward you, watching you with hooded eyes. I could watch this forever, you thought. 
You couldn’t believe it. A few days ago you were thinking of ways to never speak to Steve again and now here you were, watching him stroke his cock in front of you and looking at him as if he was your last meal. He held his hand out, a silent plea for something but you didn’t know what, not until he spoke.
“So good, baby, so pretty. Can you ju-just spit on my hand for me, honey? Lick it, spit on it, anything you want, I just need you please.” His words were slurred and if you hadn’t spent the last few hours together you would think he was drunk. He seemed so out of it, but in the best way. Like he didn’t just want you but needed you. It made you feel good, better than you ever had and it gave you a spark of bravery you were missing before. 
Knocking his hand out of your way you leaned forward with cautious eyes, watching as he tried to figure out what you were doing until it dawned on him and his cock twitched in his hand. You leaned forward, face hovering inches above him and spit, both of you watching as it dropped from your mouth to his tip, covering the top of his hand as he began to stroke himself again. His lips parted in an “o”, eyes squeezed shut and his tummy clenching as he let out the loudest moan you had heard, so loud and strong you felt yourself clenching around nothing.
You were wet but with Steve looking and sounding like that you couldn’t bring yourself to care about how bad you were aching right now, far too focused on Steve and how his thighs were starting to shake a little and his hips were starting to move faster and more uneven. 
“C-can I?” 
His eyes shot open, head shaking furiously before he had even fully understood what you were asking. He knew he wouldn't last more than ten seconds if you touched him but he couldn’t care less. All he could think about was how pretty you were, how good he was feeling, how you had just fucking spit on his cock. He would take whatever you gave him. 
With a whine that you would replay in your mind for the rest of your life he took his hand off, tugging yours closer to take his place. Both of you moaned at the contact and you were almost convinced you could cum just from touching him. “Help me, I want you to feel good, please.” He looked like a bobblehead as he nodded, putting his much larger hand over yours and giving it a squeeze, helping you to stroke him just how he liked, though anything from you would feel a million times better than his own hand. 
Addicted would be the word to describe it. Now that you had touched him, felt how hot and smooth his cock was in your hand, how pretty it looked all pink and wet and coated in your spit. Steve liked it messy and apparently so did you. You thought you were addicted to his cock, and you were, but nothing prepared you for the absolute filth that started spilling from him once he finally had your hand on him. It made you dizzy and out of breath and goddamn you would have to throw these panties in the trash after this. Absolutely ruined, just like you were. 
“Fuckin’ dreamed about this, ‘bout your hand on my cock, s’good, baby.”
“Don’t think I don’t see you squirming, honey. My pretty girl all wet ‘n needy and I haven’t even touched you. Bet you’re drenched and achy, huh?”
“Gonna make me cum, gonna make a mess of us but I bet you’ll be good and clean it up for me, won’t ya, bunny?”
He was babbling now and you could barely make sense of what he was saying but you didn’t stop. You couldn’t and you didn’t want to. His cock was slick with precum and your spit one of his hands guiding yours in quick strokes while his other was gripping the couch so hard his knuckles were white. 
“M’close, honey…so so close.”
“Please, Stevie…want it, I need it, please.” And that was all it took. No warning, your words taking him by surprise and hitting him like a punch to the gut. He took his hand off, bringing it to your hair and tugging you to him. It was a messy kiss, lips pressed together while he moaned against you, just breathing each other in while he cursed and whined, his hips stilling and you slowed, looking down just in time to see him cum. Your hand and his lower stomach was covered, his hand that was gripping the couch now thrown over his eyes as he tried to catch his breath. 
Chest and neck covered in sweat, he looked good. When he finally had gathered himself enough to look at you, he instantly regretted it. Instead of his innocent best friend, his sweet little bunny, he was looking at a little devil lapping at his cum on her hand like she hadn’t eaten in days. His softening cock twitched against his thighs and he stifled a groan when you hummed happily at the taste. 
“Christ, you’re gonna kill me.” You shrugged half heartedly, not even a little bit of you was sorry. 
“Can we finish the movie now, Stevie? I’ll probably pass out soon you wore me out, but I’m too tired to move.”
He looked down at you a little confused, your cheeks still pink and thighs still clenched together tightly. “You don’t…I can…I wanna take care of you too, sweetheart. Been dying to get a taste of you, know you’re sweet.”
You giggled and even though you were a mess, in every sense of the word, you didn’t think you could handle anymore and told him as such, eyes already feeling droopy and your body sagging against him. “Next time? Promise you can do anything you want to me next time but watching you cum was enough for me.” Your cheeks flamed as if you hadn’t just licked your best friend’s cum off your hand. 
“Alright, honey. Let’s finish your movie, you little vixen. Didn’t even take me out to dinner before you were drooling over my cock. A crime!” His smile was bright as you smacked at his chest and cursed him for teasing you.
You were sure that what had just happened would hit you soon and the panic would set in but for now you couldn’t bring yourself to care as you pressed a kiss to Steve’s bare chest and felt his grin against the top of your head. 
Did I mention I was fucked? 
2K notes · View notes
lacydollette · 5 months ago
Note
Lol, this is from my own current personal angst in my life but I was thinking it can be used for an angsty Rafe x Reader. I have very low self esteem, I don't think I look pretty so I have a hard time accepting that a guy could be interest in me or find me appealing, especially cuz guys have called ''mid''. Right now I'm talking to THE sweetest guy. THE most greenest flag of all. Super respectful, mature and kind. I had a freakout and pushed him away, wanted to stop talking. He got super upset, send me a drunk text basically being like ''I'm so attracted to u and your everything I've ever dreamt of. I just wanna make you happy and make you smile. Your so special to me. I keep saying that your beautiful, amazing and gorgeous but you won't hear it. Please don't let your insecurites get in the way of us. I fkn miss you'' I mean...hey feel free to take whatever inspiration you want from that, change it, build on it, whatever you want! We just want a sappy head over heels Rafe who is heartbroken being pushed away (but with a happy ending)
a/n tysm for sharing this with me! and please don’t let your doubts get in the way of your happiness. you are BEAUTIFUL and you MATTER ❤️‍🩹 i hope u like this little piece.
warnings rafe cameron x fem!reader, reader with low self esteem, situationship, angst, fluff, rafe being a sweetheart
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Rafe couldn’t really tell when it started, but he could feel it in your forced smiles and short responses. He tried to convince himself it was nothing, but the ache in his chest told him otherwise. Every attempt to figure out what he had done wrong was met with your dismissive shrug and a short, “I’m fine.”
But what Rafe didn’t know about was the chaos in your mind. You liked him—really liked him—but your insecurities were keeping you from letting yourself fall completely. You couldn’t ignore the way girls seemed to flirt with Rafe at parties, the way people whispered that you weren’t pretty or cool enough, to be with someone like him. It didn’t matter how many times he told you that you were beautiful—the doubt in your mind drowned out his words. So, you began to pull away, convinced it was only a matter of time before he realized you weren’t what he wanted.
And that’s why Rafe ended up going to this party alone, although it should have been a night that you two spend together. You had promised to go, only to back out at the last minute with a stupid excuse about not feeling well. Rafe knew you were lying. Obviously he didn’t want to go without you, but after Topper wouldn’t stop begging him, he gave in.
He spent the first hour trying to lose himself in the crowd, nursing a beer and pretending to laugh at Topper’s jokes, but it was useless. Every girl who tried to flirt with him only reminded him of you, and every drink made the knot in his chest tighten. Eventually, he escaped out into the yard, needing space to think—or maybe just to breathe.
The cool night air sobered him slightly, but not enough to stop him from pulling out his phone. His fingers hovered over your contact before he finally hit call. It rang three times before you picked up.
“Rafe?” You said softly, voice trembling slightly. You winced at how vulnerable you sounded.
“hi, baby.” he said, his voice breaking slightly before going right in. “What’s going on with you? Please, just tell me. Did I do something? Did I hurt you somehow? Because if I did, fuck I swear to God, I didn’t mean to.”
Your throat tightened, guilt twisting in your stomach. He sounded so desperate, so unlike the confident, self-assured Rafe you knew. You didn't know what to say, how to explain something you couldn't even fully understand yourself.
“Talk to me, y/n,” he pleaded. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep guessing what’s wrong. I care about you too much to lose you like this.” His voice cracked, and he raked a hand through his hair, his frustration spilling over. “I’m completely crazy about you. I don’t care about anyone else. You’re it for me. You’re the only one I want.”
Your heart shattered at his words. He cared about you, really cared about you. But how could he? How could someone like Rafe Cameron, with his perfect smile and effortless charm, care about someone like you?
"Rafe..." you whispered, unsure of what to say. “No,” he interrupted. “You have no idea how much you mean to me. I think about you all the time—when I wake up, when I go to sleep. You’re all I want, y/n. And if there’s even a part of you that feels the same way—then please, stop pushing me away.”
The silence that followed was unbearable. Rafe leaned against a tree, his heart pounding so loudly it drowned out everything else. Then he heard you breathe out, followed by muffled sobs, which you tried so hard to suppress by pressing your palm over your mouth. You wanted to believe him, wanted to let his words sink in and erase all your doubts. But the fear was still there.
“I didn’t think I was enough for you,” you finally whispered, voice trembling. “You could have anyone, Rafe. And people keep saying I don’t deserve you, and maybe they’re right.”
“Are you kidding me?” he said, his voice rising as he couldn’t believe that you’d actually think that. “Baby, you’re more than enough. You’re everything. Don’t let what other people say get in your head. They don’t know you. They don’t know us.”
Your sniffle came through the line, and he could picture you wiping your tears, head bowed like it always was when you were upset. “I just… I didn’t want to hold you back.”
“You’re not holding me back,” he replied softly. “You’re the only thing keeping me sane.” He paused. “Please, just let me in. Let me prove to you how much you mean to me.”
The sincerity in his voice was undeniable, and you believed him. Believed that he was serious about you two. “Okay.” You said. Relief washed over him, and he exhaled shakily. “Okay,” he repeated, his lips curving into a smile. “I’m coming to you right now.”
Your eyes widened, “No, Rafe, you don’t have to—”
“I want to,” he said firmly. “Stay where you are. I’m coming to you. We’ll figure this out together.” And with that, he ended the call, his heart pounding with determination. He didn’t care what anyone else thought. You were his, and he wasn’t going to let you go.
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theemporium · 1 year ago
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[11.6k] when in desperate need for a date to your friend's wedding, the last person you expected to step up was nico hischier. then again, he didn't step up as much as he was thrown into the mess by jack.
inspired by 'the spanish love deception' by elena armas
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“Come on!”
“When I said a favour, I didn’t mean this!”
“You said you would do anything!”
“Yeah, like help change a flat tire. You know, the normal things!”
“Do you even know how to change a flat tire?”
“Well…”
“Jack.”
The boy let out a noise mixed between a laugh and an exaggerated groan as he threw his head back. He was just fresh out of the shower after practice, hair still dripping and cheeks flushed red, when you found him by the trainers’ kitchen grabbing a protein shake. 
Your friendship with Jack Hughes was one made through the bond of joining the New Jersey Devils together. He was newly drafted and feeling the pressure of being first pick, whilst you were freshly entering the real world on your own two feet with no real plan in your head. It was by chance that a friend of a friend had managed to pull you a job with the hockey team. And it was by chance you ended up befriending the new hot-shot player in a sport you honestly didn’t know all that much about. 
Still from the first day, after a very awkward meeting on both parts, you and Jack Hughes had been the best of friends—which was exactly why you thought he would help you out on being your plus one to a wedding. 
“I don’t get what the big deal is,” Jack whined, leaning against the counter that displayed all the blenders and ingredients for the players’ protein shakes and smoothies. “Isn’t it your friend’s wedding? Why do you need a plus one, it’s not like you won’t know anyone?” 
“That’s not the point,” you huffed out, feeling like a disgruntled child as you crossed your arms over your chest and resisted the urge to pout. 
Jack raised his brows. “So, what is the point?” 
“I—” You paused, something bitter and nostalgic twisting in your chest before you shook your head. “Can you do it or not? It’s not like you are running off to the Bahamas on your week off. You said yourself that you were free.” 
“The Bahamas sounds better than a wedding in South Carolina,” he grumbled, his lips twitching upwards when you knocked his shoulder with your own. He looked like he was about to say something else before he paused, his eyes brightening. “So, you really need a date to this thing?”
You shot him a look. “Did the last twenty minutes of me begging not give it away?”
His grin widened, something quite unsettling in the smile. “So, you’re desperate?” 
You frowned. “Well, I wouldn’t say desperate—”
“Nico is free this week!” Jack announced loudly, his grin reaching scary levels of taking over his face before his eyes glanced over your head. “Aren’t you, cap?”
Your eyes widened a little as you whirled around, finding the Devils captain standing a few feet away from the two of you. He was dressed similarly to Jack, in a team-branded hoodie and sweatpants, with his wet hair tucked under a beanie. He looked a bit caught off-guard as he glanced between the two of you, though his eyes lingered on Jack.
“Uh, yeah,” he cleared his throat, standing a little taller. “I guess. I didn’t have any plans—”
“Brilliant!” Jack clapped his hands together. “Nico can be your fake boyfriend to your friend’s wedding.”
Your head snapped around to glare at your friend. “I just needed a date—”
“Yeah, your date is your boyfriend,” Jack retorted.
Your glare hardened. “And I asked you—”
“And I’m busy,” Jack said with a shrug, almost as if he was saying ‘what could you do?’. “But Nico is free and you know each other. It should be an easy solution, right?” 
You finally had the courage to face Nico, who looked a bit stunned himself. If it were any other day, you would have laughed at the fact that the captain looked so lost and unsure of himself, so unlike himself. But right now—with the tightening band around your chest that felt like it would crush your ribs—you couldn’t find yourself to even smile.
“You don’t have to,” you said eventually, when you finally found your voice again and your thoughts were coherent. “Jack is just—”
“I’ll do it,” Nico blurted out.
You blinked.
“I mean,” Nico paused, looking a little flustered at his own sudden announcement. “If you need someone, I can help out. I don’t mind, really.” He paused again. “We’re friends, right? This is what friends do.”
“Yeah, friends,” you repeated, clearing your throat a little before giving him a strained smile. 
And just like that, Nico Hischier—captain of the New Jersey Devils—was your wedding date.
You decided that after this wedding was over and done, you were going to kill Jack Hughes.
In your mind, Jack would have agreed to help you out with your predicament, you would have gone to the wedding and had a laugh together. This would be one of those memories that you two would joke about for years to come, like when he almost burned down your kitchen making boxed macaroni cheese or when you called him sobbing because of a spider in your bathroom. 
You didn’t think he would throw you under the bus like this.
And maybe that was a bit dramatic, but it felt necessary after Nico left the room with the promise he would message to sort out the details of your plans.
Your issue wasn’t with the fact Jack didn’t want to do it. If that was the case, you would have understood. Your nagging and begging was mostly just a bit of friendly banter, and you thought he was reciprocating. 
He was reciprocating. 
But then, instead of being a normal human and telling you he didn’t want to do it so you could find someone else to help you, he just threw a solution at you. 
An—in the kindest way you could put it—unwanted solution.
It wasn’t that you hated or even disliked Nico Hischier. Not at all. Your relationship with the captain was just…non-existent, in a sense. Very superficial, if you were being honest.
When you were new to the team, you didn’t really talk all that much to any of the players. Jack was the exception, someone who was just as lost as you—though his extroverted personality hid it far better. But weeks passed and slowly you began to see some of the players beyond friendly acquaintances. 
But Nico just…never really left that label. 
It wasn’t like he was rude or mean to you, quite the opposite. Even though he was the captain to only the team, that caring and kind personality extended to everyone who worked for the Devils—you included. 
He was a good guy. He was sweet and thoughtful and loyal and kind. He cared more than any person should. He was the kind of person people write in books and movies. 
And it was intimidating, in a weird way. 
There was no logical explanation for it. But something about Nico Hischier felt too perfect for your shit show of a life. He was confident and put together and everything you weren’t. 
Jack knew that. Jack knew how you felt. Jack had laughed about it more than once before reassuring you that there was more to Nico than you realised. 
You just wish you could’ve discovered that side of him during a team night out rather than at your friend’s wedding out of state. 
And because Nico was the perfect guy, it was no surprise when he messaged you that the two of you could take his car down to Charleston, South Carolina with him taking the first shift. 
“I thought you’d be sick of being on the road,” you said to him as you stood outside your apartment complex, bags in hand as you walked towards where Nico had parked his car. 
“It’s a part of me now,” he joked as he reached for your bags, not giving you a chance to say anything before he placed them in the back with his own. “I go crazy if I’m not locked in a moving vehicle for more than three hours.” 
You snorted, turning your face away so he didn’t catch the way your cheeks burned in embarrassment at the noise. 
“I’ve also never been to Charleston,” Nico continued, shrugging his shoulders. “Thought it would be a nice chance to take it all in if we drive.” 
“I really don’t mind driving the whole way,” you said, chewing on your bottom lip nervously as you eyed his car. “You’re already doing me a favour, the least I could do is—”
“It’s a long drive, I wouldn’t want you getting tired behind the wheel,” Nico said, his brows furrowed together. “It’s fine. I promise.” 
“Okay,” you relented and took your spot in the passenger seat for the first stint of the drive. 
It was around two hours in when the small talk shifted into something deeper. 
“So, what’s the deal??”
You glanced over at the boy in the driver seat, your lips still wrapped around the straw of your slushie you bought at the last service station. Nico had gaped at you being able to drink something so sweet and cold so early in the morning, but you just grinned and shrugged. You didn’t get much of a chance to say anything before he was paying for it anyways, along with the coffee he got for himself. 
Sensing your confusion, he continued. 
“With the date,” he said, risking a glance at you before his eyes returned to the road. “You just seemed…”
“Desperate?” You supplied.
His lips twitched. “I was going to say insistent,” he corrected. “But yeah, desperate works too. Is it really such a bad thing if you go to your friend’s wedding alone?” 
“Well,” you started, still hesitant to say your thoughts out loud when you knew it sounded immature. “Not really. Lucy wouldn’t care if I brought a cactus with me, she would just be happy I was there for her big day.”
Nico huffed out a laugh. “So, why am I here instead of a cactus?” 
“I’m not a big fan of pricks,” you joked and, to your credit, he did smile. But the look he shot you told you that deflecting wasn’t going to get you very far. “My ex will be there.”
Nico didn’t say anything for a few moments. “And you’re…still in love with him?”
“What? No!” You quickly shook your head, your face scrunched up in a grimace. “God, no. Not at all. Never again.”
“Oh,” Nico murmured, though there was still a look of confusion on his face. “What’s the big deal if he’s there then?”
“Our breakup was…messy,” you confessed, wincing a little as the memories you tried to block out returned like an unwanted slap to the face. “It was ages ago and I’m over it. But the last time I saw a lot of these people was just before the breakup and I just wasn’t in a good place.” 
Nico didn’t say anything, letting you continue. 
“He cheated on me.” you said eventually because there didn’t seem like much point in beating around the bush, especially when Nico was helping you out despite being thrown into the deep-end unwillingly. “It got messy within the friend group and I ended up moving away after we broke up to get a fresh start. Not just because of him, but it was nice to get away from all the mess and drama.” 
“So you came to New Jersey,” Nico finished. 
“So I came to New Jersey,” you confirmed with a nod.
“And having a boyfriend when you see these people will…” he trailed off, his brows furrowed together once again. It was the same expression you saw on his face during games, when he was trying to work out plays in his head before they happened.
“I was originally planning to come myself,” you admitted to the boy. “But then I was on the phone with Lucy and she kept asking if I’d be okay with everything and I just imagined everyone asking me the same thing and,” you paused and shrugged. “I just ended up blurting out that I was using my plus one.”
When you turned to look at Nico, you were surprised to find a sympathetic smile on the boy’s face. 
“If you showed up alone, nobody would’ve thought you moved on. But if you came with someone, people would believe you were actually okay,” Nico finished for you, and it should have been unsettling how well he understood. But his empathy and insight were one of the many traits that made him captain.
“It sounds stupid but I just wanted to come here and enjoy my friend’s wedding,” you said with a dry laugh. “The pitying looks were bad enough the first time around, I don’t need them again.”
Nico hummed, nodding his head. “So, what’s our story?” 
You turned to him, frowning. “What?”
“Our story,” he repeated, a kind smile on his face that made your chest feel tight. “You know, like how we got together. Surely people will ask, no? We should have a plan.”
Your lips twitched upwards. “Can’t keep away from the strategies, can you?”
Nico laughed, smiling. “Guess you can’t take the captain out of the man or whatever the saying is.”
You snorted, shaking your head before you settled back in your seat. You thought about his point for a few moments, contemplating your options. 
“I don’t think we have to overcomplicate it,” Nico said, interrupting your thoughts. “You have that look on your face that says you’re scheming.”
You raised your brows. “How do you know that?”
“It’s the same look on your face you get when you plan a prank with Jack,” he responded, smiling a little wider at your shocked look. “Neither of you are subtle. Or quiet.”
“I was just trying to think of an interesting story,” you defended, narrowing your eyes at the boy. “We can’t just have a basic co-workers to lovers situation, that’s boring.”
Nico laughed. “Boring?”
“Yeah!” You laughed back. “We have the chance to make up the craziest love story ever, why not take it?” 
Nico shook his head. “What do you suggest then?”
“A puck was flying at your head and I saved you,” you joked. “Full on spidey sense moment, just caught the puck with my bare hands and you were lovestruck after that.”
The full belly laugh Nico let out made your smile widen. “Caught the puck?” 
“Bare hands,” you nodded. 
“I am sure everyone will believe that,” he teased.
“You clearly haven’t seen me in the net,” you mused. “I have insane reflexes.”
“I’ll let the team know the next time we need a goalie,” Nico retorted. 
In the end, you decided to go the ‘boring’ route. It felt safer to stick with almost-truths, it prevented any possible slip up if the two of you were interrogated separately. And, much to your surprise, there was something quite fun about fabricating a fake relationship with the captain you barely knew. 
You arrived in Charleston, South Carolina just after seven o’clock.
The address Lucy had given you was for a massive house by the beach she was renting out for the week. It was gorgeous, over three storeys high and looking like it had been plucked straight out of a postcard. The beach house was slightly secluded as well, far enough from the closest neighbours for all the main wedding party to park their cars outside with no bother.
It felt a little surreal. 
You didn’t even get a chance to step out of the car before the front door swung open and Lucy came running out, squealing as she opened her arms and wrapped them around you. Your chest tightened at the closeness, at seeing one of your closest friends in person after so long of being apart. 
“You’re here!” She exclaimed as she pulled back, her bright eyes finding yours with an understanding shining in them. She missed you as much as you missed her.
“And you’re getting married!” You retorted, watching as her grin—somehow—widened. 
“I’m so happy you’re here,” Lucy murmured before she brought you into another hug. And you let yourself sink into the embrace, to forget everything else until your friend let out an intrigued hum. “And I’m guessing this is your plus one?” 
Your eyes widened a little when you remembered Nico standing a few feet behind you and quickly pulled back, glancing back at him before turning to Lucy. Something deep in your stomach twisted at the idea of lying to your friend but there was no going back now. 
“Nico, this is Lucy. Lucy, this is Nico,” you said as you gestured between each other, hesitating for a moment before continuing. “My boyfriend.” 
Lucy’s shock was clear. “Boyfriend? You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend! You just made it seem like your plus one was a friend over the phone!”
You gave her a shaky smile. “Surprise?” 
Nico, seeming to somehow pick up on the way the guilt was starting to take over you, stepped in and offered his hand to your friend. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. And congratulations on the wedding. It’s an honour to be here, even just as a plus one.” 
Lucy’s brows raised in surprise, her eyes briefly finding yours as she shook his hand.. “Wow, you are a…gentleman.” 
“I guess I upgraded,” you joked, wincing a little when you saw her face scrunch up in guilt. 
“Are you sure it’s not weird that he’s here? I know Tom wanted him here but—” But you didn’t give her a chance to continue as you shook her head, reaching out to grab her hand and squeeze softly. 
“It’s fine, Luce, I promise,” you said, though you weren’t totally sure if she believed you or not. In an attempt to solidify your point, you turned back to glance at Nico with a smile. “I’ve moved on. I’m happy. And I want to be here with you to celebrate your wedding. It probably won’t even be that awkward, it’s been years since everything happened.”
Lucy nibbled on her lower lip. “You’re sure?” 
“Positive,” you nodded.
“Okay,” she said before smiling. “Well, I’ll let you two settle into your room. You’re on the top floor but I can get Tom out to help with your bags. Let me go get him!”
You didn’t get a chance to say anything before Lucy ran back inside but you were hit with a sudden realisation that had you turning to face Nico, an apologetic look painted on your face.
“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” you blurted out, your cheeks warming as he gave you an inquisitive look. “She asked if I only wanted one room and I said yes because I thought I’d be with Jack and it wouldn’t be that bad, but I forgot to tell her it’s changed. We don’t have to stay here! We can get a hotel nearby or—”
“Hey,” Nico stepped forward, his hands placed on your shoulders to ground you for a moment before you started pacing. “Take a deep breath.”
You let out a shaky breath in response. 
“It’s fine,” he told you, and you could hear the sincerity in his voice. “It would have been weird if we were in separate rooms anyways.”
“I can take the floor,” you suggested.
Nico shot you a look. “I’m not letting you do that.”
“But—” 
Nico’s look hardened. 
“Fine. No floor,” you grumbled before you flashed him a sheepish smile. “I really am sorry though. I feel like you have just been thrown into this whole thing and—”
“I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t want to be here,” Nico assured you, squeezing your shoulders before nodding towards the house. “C’mon, we should go inside and freshen up. Then you can tell me everything I need to know, starting with who Tom is and if we like him.”
And that was enough to make you snort, momentarily ignoring the problem of the one bed for now. 
You didn’t bump into your ex until later that night.
In retrospect, you should have expected to see him sooner rather than later, but a stupid part of you was still in denial about having to spend the week with him living under the same roof as you. Another part of you was also hoping he just wouldn’t show up, that he would bail on the whole event or maybe even just show up on the day of the wedding. 
But you knew that would have never been the case. Because as close as you were with Lucy was just as close he was to Tom, Lucy’s future husband. In fact, Lucy and Tom had met because of you two, because of the fusion of your friendship groups which now just felt like the biggest joke ever. 
At least someone benefited out of the relationship.
You weren’t even expecting some big confrontation or horrendous outcome when you expected to bump into your ex. You were just expecting to be a little more prepared, to have time to put yourself together. You knew you would see him at dinner that night, that much was inevitable. But you thought you could at least have the upper hand by walking into the room, hand in hand with Nico. 
What you weren’t expecting was to see him for the first time in years when you were waiting by the stairs for Nico (since being the gentleman he was, he had let you go refresh in the bathroom first). 
“Look what the cat dragged in!”
You hated the way your body instantly tensed up at the sound of his voice. You hated the way he was smiling at you like the last time you spoke he hadn’t shattered your whole world. You hated the way you felt so caught off-guard, so unprepared for a meeting you were expecting to have the upper hand in. 
“Jackson,” you managed to grit out as you gave him a strained smile. “Nice to see you again.” Lie. Lie. Lie.
“Yeah, it’s been a while, huh?” He said, so lighthearted and casual and dismissive. 
You had to bite your tongue when the urge to say something a little more snarky came up, but you would hate yourself if you created a scene. You were doing this for Lucy. You were here to celebrate a momentous moment in your friend’s life. You weren’t here to get petty revenge on something that happened years ago—at least not in the form of bitter remarks. 
“A couple of years or so,” you answered with a shrug of your shoulders. 
“I was surprised when Lucy said you were coming,” Jackson told you.
You frowned. “Why would that be a surprise? She’s one of my best friends.”
“Yeah but,” Jackson waved his hand like that explained everything. “You haven’t visited since you left.” 
And the underlying words went unspoken. 
You haven’t visited since everything that happened between us. You haven’t visited since you had your heart broken. You haven’t visited so people just assumed you were still hurt and inconsolable after we broke up. I thought that was why you never came back.
“My job keeps me busy,” you stated simply, swallowing the acidic taste in the back of your throat. “Lucy knows that.” 
Something quite like amusement shone in his eyes. “Ah yeah, Tom mentioned something about you working in some ice rink in New Jersey. That sounds super busy.”
You bit your tongue. He was goading you again. You knew that. But fuck, you just wished you could have—
“I would hardly call The Rock just some ice rink,” a voice spoke from behind you and you turned to find Nico settling into the spot next to you, his face remaining very…neutral. 
Jackson stared at the boy, his lips agape as recognition clearly hit him. He blinked and then turned to you. “You work for the Devils?”
“Last time I checked,” you said, a twinge of satisfaction sparking inside you at his disbelief. 
He puffed his chest out a little. “When Lucy said you were bringing a plus one, I didn’t think she meant a co-worker—”
“She didn’t,” Nico interrupted, a look on his face that reminded you of his post-game interviews after the team lost. Before he continued, he wrapped an arm around your waist, making sure the boy saw the movement. “I’m her boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend,” Jackson repeated. 
“Yes, that is a word Americans still use, no?” Nico retorted. 
“Of course, man,” Jackson said with a laugh, but it felt forced and strained. He tore his eyes away from Nico to look back at you. “Well, I should be heading back. I’ll see you two down there.” 
He didn’t wait before he turned around, heading down the stairs to the dining room where the rest of the wedding party were probably starting their dinner. A few moments passed between the two of you before Nico finally broke the silence. 
“So, that was your ex,” he said.
You snorted before you winced. “I was blinded by young love.”
Nico laughed at that. “I didn’t realise blondes were your type,” he admitted, something different in his voice that he couldn’t quite work out.
You rolled your eyes before you sighed. “They usually aren’t, to be honest. But Jackson was…Jackson.”
Nico seemed oddly pleased with the response. 
“And he’s a hockey fan?” He questioned, his brows furrowing together like Jackson was a rival team’s game strategy he had to study. “He knew who I was.”
A slow grin spread across your face. “His family are from New York.”
Nico raised his brows before he laughed. “Islanders or Rangers?”
“Rangers,” you said with a proud look on your face. 
“That’s why you originally asked Jack,” Nico mused. “You wanted to rub it in that little more.”
“You bet them in the playoffs, I just thought he would like a nice reminder,” you retorted with an innocent look.
He laughed—that full belly laugh once again—before shaking his head in amusement. Before you could say anything more, he was intertwining your hands together and starting to make his way down the stairs Jackson had disappeared down a few minutes ago.
“C’mon, they are probably waiting for us,” he said. 
And honestly, you couldn’t find it in yourself to pull your hand away. 
Dinner was uneventful, though you did enjoy watching Jackson bitterly stew from the other side of the table. 
A sense of familiarity and nostalgia washed over you as you sat at the dinner table, enjoying a meal as you laughed and chatted to a group you once saw daily but now hadn’t properly seen in years. It felt so easy to slip into old dynamics, to laugh at old jokes and tease each other as Lucy and Tom were the first to take such a monumental step from the lot of you.
Nico fit in so well, it almost made your chest feel tight if you thought about it too hard. He didn’t seem to mind the countless questions thrown at him about his job and the team. If anything, you thought he was milking his answers a little just to see Jackson squirm—especially when asked about playoffs. 
Eventually the day-long drive finally caught up with the two of you and you wished everyone goodbye before returning to your room on the top floor. Despite trying to play the gentleman card again, you allowed Nico to go to the bathroom first and tried not to stare too hard when he came out in a tight shirt and flannel pyjama bottoms. 
It took an embarrassing few minutes to hype yourself up in the bathroom mirror before you finally headed back to the room, only to pause at the doorway when you saw Nico lying on the ground by the bed with a pillow under his head and blanket over his body.
“What are you doing?”
Nico frowned a little. “Uh, sleeping?” 
“Why are you on the floor?”
His confusion growed. “Because that’s where I’m sleeping?”
“You’re not sleeping on the floor, Nico,” you sighed as you shook your head, walking into the room until you paused by his feet. “You’ll fuck up your back. Let me take the floor.”
Nico smiled softly. “My back will be fine. Take the bed, schatz.” 
You ignored the way the nickname made your stomach flutter. “I’m not the one who needs to stay in good shape for hockey, captain. The fans will murder me if you can’t play because you have a stiff back. Now take the bed.” 
His eyes narrowed slightly. “Would you have made Jack take the bed?”
“Yes,” you answered instantly before wincing. “Well, I probably would have shared the bed with him.”
“You would?”
“Yeah, like a sleepover,” you said with a shrug. 
“Then we can do that.”
You blinked. “Huh?”
“We can share the bed like a sleepover,” Nico said as he stood up, failing to hide his groan as he stretched his back (and ignoring your pointed look). “We’re friends, right?”
You swallowed. “Yeah.”
“Then we can share,” Nico said simply. “Either you take the bed alone or we share. It’s your choice.”
“We may be friends but I am also doing this because the fans scare me and I don’t want to know what they would do to be if I broke their captain’s back,” you said with a pointed look before you climbed into the bed, ignoring the way your heart was thumping as he settled on the other side.
Nico huffed out a laugh. “I wouldn’t let them hurt you.”
You rolled onto your side to look at him, your eyes narrowing slightly. “You better not move to the floor when I fall asleep, Hischier.”
Much to his dismay, he blushed at your words. “I wasn’t planning on it.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
“I know.”
You let out a sigh, allowing yourself to stare at the boy for a little while longer before you rolled over to fall asleep.
“Thank you for helping me,” you whispered.
Nico’s soft smile returned. “It’s what friends do.”
“Goodnight, Nico.”
“Goodnight, schatz.”
It took a solid thirty seconds after you woke up to realise you were practically lying on top of Nico Hischier.
As your body started to wake up, you realised how warm and comfortable you were. You snuggled further into your pillow, into the warmth and hoped your body would just fall asleep for a little longer. 
It took longer than it should have to remember that pillows weren’t warm before you opened your eyes and found yourself settled on Nico, your legs tangled together and one of his arms loosely wrapped around your waist. 
You didn’t give yourself a chance to live out a waking nightmare and risk waiting for him to wake up in the next ten seconds, so you pulled yourself away from him and then hid in the bathroom for fifteen minutes freaking out.
By the time you came out, Nico was awake and sat up against the headboard. His hair was ruffled and dishevelled, his eyes still hooded and a sleepy smile on his lips that made you want to turn on your heels and have another bathroom freakout. 
Instead, you smiled back and told him the two of you had to be outside in the next hour for the brunch Lucy had planned before both wedding parties went off to do their last fittings. 
Thankfully, no more bathroom freakouts were required. 
The brunch Lucy had set up looked like something straight out of a Pinterest aesthetic board. It was set in the house’s back porch with a stunning view of the beach and morning sun beating down on the sea. The table was set with plates of pastries, fruits and other brunch dishes, all topped with the morning mimosas Lucy demanded was a part of the experience.
Nico barely gave you a chance to settle down in your seat before his hand reached for the leg of your chair, dragging you closer to him until his arm could settle along the back of your chair comfortably. From the corner of your eye, you could see Jackson watching the two of you. Nico had noticed too.
If anything, it just made him smirk. 
One by one, everyone had made their way from their rooms to settle down at the brunch table like you all had done the night before. However, unlike yesterday, you noted an empty seat next to Jackon that hadn’t been beside him last night. 
Before you could even ask, a high-pitched voice shrilled from inside.
“I’m here! I’m here! I promise I’m not late.”
You turned to look at Lucy, your eyes widening in response but your friend only mouthed an apology before she turned to the door just in time for a redhead to wander out onto the porch. 
“Bryce! Happy to finally have you here!” 
You watched the two of them hug but your whole body had locked up, an unwanted flurry of memories washing over you. And just like that, it felt like another situation in which you should have been prepared for but didn’t get the chance to. Another rug pulled from under your feet. 
“What’s wrong?” 
You could feel him lean closer, hear the concern in his voice. And yet, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the redhead talking to Lucy a few feet away.
You knew. You knew Jackson had a plus one, it was the whole fucking reason you showed up with one of your own because you didn’t want to look like the loser who hadn’t moved on. You had been warned that he was bringing someone else. 
You just never assumed it would be her.
“That’s the girl my ex cheated on me with,” you managed to mumble under your breath to Nico, managed to finally turn your head to look at him. 
His expression was some mix of surprise and anger and, honestly, you would have laughed at the seriousness on his face if it weren’t for the fact you felt the exact same. You didn’t care about your ex and you had moved on, but it was still a bitter sting to know he was still with the woman he cheated on you with all those years ago.
You tried to relax your shoulders and act as unaffected as you could as Bryce rounded the table to take the seat next to Jackson—the seat across from you. But any hopes of the brunch going as smoothly as the dinner yesterday went out the window when her eyes landed on you.
“Oh my god,” Bryce let out a laugh and smiled at you, a smile you were sure was meant to be friendly but just made your skin prickle. “I didn’t know you would be here! Luce didn’t tell me.”
Luce. That was your nickname for her, not Bryce’s.
“I guess we are both surprised then,” you replied with a strained smile.
Nico couldn't help but snort, not even trying to hide his reaction.
Her eyes snapped over to him, calculating. “And this must be your plus one. Your friend?” 
“Boyfriend, actually,” you corrected.
“Hm, how sweet.” 
You still felt on edge as the brunch continued. Nico’s arm around the back of your seat was a comfort but it didn’t help the fact Bryce’s gaze on you felt like daggers against your skin. You ignored both her and Jackson for the most part, listening to the stories exchanged amongst the group and Lucy raving about the final dress fitting later that day. It was easy to zone out until the conversation seemed to focus back onto you and the boy by your side.
“So,” Lucy grinned as she glanced between you and Nico. “What’s the story? How did you meet? When did it happen? I want details, I can’t believe you’ve been holding back on me!”
You flashed her an apologetic look. “You were busy with the wedding, I didn’t want to bother you.”
“Well, you can tell me now,” she retorted with a wink. 
“It’s really not that interesting,” you said, shifting in your seat when you felt everyone’s eyes on you. As much as you joked about having an insane love story, the idea of even saying the boring one right now with everyone’s attention directed on you made your skin prickle with discomfort.
But even if everyone else was oblivious, Nico wasn’t. 
“To her, maybe,” he spoke up and everyone’s focus shifted to him, even your own. But he was used to this. He was used to many eyes on him and attention directed towards him. “I still get teased about it by the boys.” 
Lucy’s smile softened. “Really?”
“Oh yeah,” Nico laughed, his eyes briefly looking at you before his gaze returned to your friend. “I had a huge crush on her when she joined the team. Like, embarrassingly huge. Jack used to tease me all the time on how I seemed to forget how to speak English around her.”
Your stomach dipped and, for a quick second, you almost believed him with everyone else.
“She always did play a little hard to get,” Jackson mused and something visibly changed in Nico’s expression. 
“And she was worth every second of it,” Nico retorted, the same camera-approved smile he gave the journalists during interviews. “Unlike some people though, I have no plan to lose her.”
Jackson clenched his jaw. 
“How long have you been together then?” Bryce jumped in, her narrowed gaze glancing between you both.
“A few months,” you and Nico replied at the same time.
Bryce’s eyes gleamed. “And how long is a few months?” 
“Six,” Nico answered simply before he turned to smile at you. “Best six months of my life.”
Your face warmed in response. “He’s a little cheesy.” 
“You mean romantic,” Lucy teased, but there was something approving in her expression. It warmed your heart a little at the idea that she would have approved of Nico if he really was your boyfriend. “She isn’t used to that.”
Jackson stiffened. 
Nico’s grin widened and before you could even realise what he was doing, he was taking your hand in his and placing a kiss along your knuckles. “I’m honoured to be the one to spoil her, then.”
Thankfully, Jackson and Bryce didn’t say much for the rest of the meal.
You felt like you were in an odd routine over the next few days, but you found that you actually quite enjoyed it. 
The wedding frenzy was in full effect but there was something grounding about having Nico by your side for it all. 
Every morning, you woke up first and found yourself tangled in bed with the boy. It also meant the bathroom freakouts had become a part of your routine, but it was worth it to wake up and enjoy the warmth of Nico Hischier’s hold for a few minutes. You two would end up lounging in your shared room, just trying to fully wake up before Lucy dragged you into last minute wedding nonsense. 
But even at night, you found yourself settled into a routine with the boy. He would go first to the bathroom and you’d go second, and then the two of you would be settled against the headboard, rambling away until one of you yawned and the other one turned the lights off for the night.
It almost made you laugh that there was ever a time you were intimidated by the captain—even when that time was just last week.
And yet, for the first time since you arrived in Charleston, there was nothing for you to do. The rehearsal dinner was tomorrow, the wedding was the following day and it was like you were facing the calm before the storm took over your lives. And it was the first time you could all enjoy the beach without a deadline looking over your head.
“C’mon, it will be fun!” 
Lucy snorted. “For you, maybe.” 
Tom grinned down at his future wife, lightly tugging on her hand but she remained sat on the deck chair. “It’s just a friendly game of soccer. Boys versus girls. Come on.”
“Football,” Nico corrected under his breath, making you snort.
“That is hardly fair,” Lucy argued. “You’ll have a professional athlete on your side!”
“Nico is a hockey player!” Tom retorted.
“Same thing,” Lucy waved off and Nico’s expression was enough for you to snort again. “Fine, we play but with mixed teams.”
Tom contemplated for a moment before agreeing. “Deal.”
“And I get Nico on my team,” she added, watching in delight as her fiance gaped.
“But—” He paused, lifting his head to find your gaze. “You’re on my team then.”
“She’s my best friend!” 
“You took the athlete, I get your best friend. That’s the deal.”
“Do we get a choice in this?” Nico murmured to you and you just laughed, shaking your head.
After more arguing and bickering and negotiating between the future married couple, the teams had been decided. Goals had been marked in the sand, a ball had been acquired and the game began. It was stupid and harmless and it was meant as nothing more than a little fun. 
But Tom and Lucy were more competitive than they let on. And it certainly didn’t help the fact Jackson seemed to have it out for your boyfriend before the match even began.
“Think you can handle tackling your boyfriend?” Jackson asked you. 
“I don’t think it concerns you how well I handle him,” you retorted, feeling the weight of Nico’s gaze on you from across the makeshift pitch like a comfort.
“He doesn't seem like your type,” Jackson continued, always sticking close enough so he could keep talking.
“My type is none of your business,” you stated bluntly.
“I mean, a jock? Really?” Jackson shrugged. “Just didn’t think you went for the airhead.”
You snorted, unable to help yourself. “Funny, I was thinking the same thing when I considered what I saw in you.”
He huffed. “You—”
“Don’t want to continue this conversation, Jackson,” you shot him a look. “I’m happy with Nico. I don’t care what you have to say about it. I’m here for Lucy, not you. Don’t get it twisted.” 
“You’ll never have what we had with Nico,” he said. 
“One can only hope.”
You were stupid to think Nico wouldn’t be competitive in a friendly game. He was a professional athlete. It was literally written in his DNA.
And honestly? You felt bad for anyone who played against the Devils because you couldn’t imagine how intense Nico was to play against in a proper game when this was how seriously he was taking a stupid football match that meant nothing.
“NEXT GOAL WINS THE GAME!”
The group had been playing for the last hour, the game was tied and you knew that you would have to head back into the house for lunch soon. But neither team wanted to leave the game until there was a clear winner.
Any semblance of friendliness went out the window as the last leg of the game continued. You weren’t too bothered, more than happy to watch Tom and Lucy mostly fight over the ball and constantly try to tackle each other. 
But your stomach dipped a little when you saw Lucy kick the ball back to Nico. And the feeling only got worse when you saw Jackson making a beeline towards the boy, determined to tackle it out of his hold. Before you even knew it, you and the rest of the party were watching the two boys race down the makeshift pitch.
However, no matter how hard he tried, Jackson could never match Nico’s speed. 
You watched as he kicked the ball, right through the makeshift goal that had been created in the sand. The group broke out into a mix of groans and cheers alike, people clapping and whooping as Nico ran back towards you with a massive grin on his face. 
You barely had a chance to react before he was right in front of you, crouching down enough for his arms to wrap around your thighs before he hoisted you over his shoulders. 
“Nico!” You let out a noise mixed between a scream and laugh.
“We won, baby!” He cheered and your cheeks burned at the nickname. 
Your hands tried to hold onto him for balance but a part of you knew he would never drop you. You patted his back and Nico seemed to catch the hint as he slowly dropped your back to the ground, though his arms remained wrapped around you to keep you close.
“You won,” you corrected. “We are on different teams, remember?”
Nico shrugged. “My win is your win.” 
You snorted. “That was cheesy.” 
“Didn’t like it?” He teased, and your cheeks burned warmer. 
“You make it work,” you admitted, the band around your chest tightening when you saw his face brighten at your words. 
“Yeah?” 
For a moment, you forgot that you were surrounded by people. For a moment, it was just you and Nico stood on this beach, smiling and laughing and alone. For a moment, you could have sworn his eyes dipped down to your mouth. For a moment, you thought he was going to kiss you.
A big part of you wished he did. 
“C’MON, LOVEBIRDS! LUNCH IS READY!”
You blinked, tearing your eyes away from the boy right in front of you and instead turned to look at the others. Some of the group were already making their way back to the house, but a few lingered on the beach. Lucy was grinning at you like a madman with Tom looking equally as happy. However, it was hard to focus on them when Jackson stood a few feet away, glaring at you and Nico.
You cleared your throat, hoping your smile seemed normal as you turned to Nico. “Ready for lunch?”
“Hm,” Nico hummed, looking like he wanted to say more but ultimately just nodding. “Yeah, I’m starving.”
“Scoring the winning goal really does knock you on your ass, huh?” You joked.
Nico just laughed, throwing his arm around you before the two of you began to make your way back to the house. “Running in sand is much harder than skating.” 
“Didn’t stop you from achieving the win.”
“I’m a winner, baby,” Nico grinned. “I don’t like losing.”
The football game had sucked the energy out of most of the group, so it was no surprise everyone started to head to bed before the clock had even reached ten.
You were dragging your feet as you followed Nico to your shared room, doing everything in your ability to stay awake as he went into the bathroom first. Every one of your moves felt lethargic and sluggish and you wanted nothing more than to curl up under the duvet to sleep forever.
It was like a cruel joke from the universe that the second your head hit the pillow, you couldn’t fall asleep. And it took a solid ten minutes of twisting and turning before Nico spoke up.
“Are you okay?”
You froze before letting out a heavy sigh, settled on your back as you stared blankly into the dark room. “Just can’t sleep.” There was a pause. “Sorry if I woke you up.”
“I wasn’t asleep yet.” he assured you before he shuffled in his spot until he was facing you, even if he couldn’t really see you in the dark. “Do you want to talk about it?” 
Your lips twitched upwards and maybe it was the exhaustion, but you couldn’t even stop yourself from letting out a laugh that echoed through the room.
Nico let out a noise of amusement. “What?” 
You shook your head, feeling oddly giddy as you spoke. “Nothing, it’s just,” you paused for a few seconds. “I just remembered Jack telling me how the team joked that you took on the role of the therapist before you became captain. That after bad games, you went out of your way to ask them how they were doing and being the shoulder they needed to cry on.”
Nico frowned a little. “Is that a bad thing?”
“Not at all,” you answered as you turned to look at him, imagining the features on his face even if you couldn’t see him. “It’s just funny that I knew what you were like this whole time but still…it took me experiencing you to realise how stupid I was.” 
His confusion grew. “Stupid for what?”
“For thinking you were scary,” you admitted in a whisper.
Nico didn’t say anything before he let out a laugh. “You thought I was scary?” 
“Well, not scary,” you corrected, but you couldn’t help but laugh with him. “Just…intimidating.” 
“Is that why you never spoke to me?”
“I spoke to you,” you argued.
“Hardly,” Nico mused. “I don’t think we had a proper conversation until you had almost been with the team for a year. I had to ask Jack if I had done something to piss you off because you seemed to get on with everyone else but me.”
You couldn’t hide your surprise. “You asked Jack?”
“I wanted to apologise if I had done something I didn’t realise upset you,” he confessed, and something in your chest tightened at the thought.
“Oh god,” you murmured, letting out a groan as you raised your hands to cover your face. “Now I feel like even more of a dick.”
Nico huffed out a laugh before he reached over, his palm warm and comforting as it rested on your arm. “It’s fine. We are friends now, right?”
You sighed. “Yeah but—”
“Hey, don’t feel too bad about it, okay? We were both being stupid,” Nico’s words washed over you, his thumb gently rubbing soothing circles on your skin. “And without that, you could have been here with Jack or someone else instead and I would have missed out on a pretty fun week.”
“You’re having fun?”
“Of course I am. I’m here with you,” he murmured, voice thick and full of sincerity. It made your heart race in your chest to the point you almost swore he could hear it. “Plus, it’s pretty funny seeing how pathetic your ex-boyfriend is.”
You snorted. “Not my finest decision in life.”
“As much as I wish you never experienced that kind of pain, I’m glad it happened,” Nico whispered, his hand lightly squeezing your arm. “It meant you moved to New Jersey. It meant that I—that the whole team got to meet you.”
Your cheeks burned but you smiled, even if he couldn’t see it. You placed a hand over his and squeezed back. “I’m glad I met you too. All of you.”
“Bet you wouldn’t have had this heart-to-heart with Jack, huh?”
You let out a breathless laugh. “No, he probably would have fallen asleep before I even left the bathroom.”
Nico laughed but didn’t disagree. 
You don’t remember exactly at what point you fell asleep that night, but you spent a little longer in his arms the next morning. 
It was a risk but you had lost time to make up for with Nico Hischier, even if it meant making up those moments tangled in bed with him.
The rehearsal dinner was where everything really hit you.
It had been running smoothly, though you expected nothing less from Lucy. You knew she probably had the day planned down to the minute, and even if the plan deviated, she would have five back up plans that were ready to go. It was just the kind of person she was.
It was held outside on the beach, the slowly setting sun casting the skies orange and pink over the venue. The tables were set to perfection, the fairy lights decorated across the borders and you had truly never seen anyone happier than Lucy and Tom in that moment. Your heart soared at the idea of the two most deserving people finding the happiness they earned.
It was gorgeous. It was perfect. It was the last fucking time and place you should have been hit with the fact that you were maybe, kinda, most definitely falling in love with Nico Hischier.
Lucy had just wanted a calm, laid back rehearsal dinner. The wedding party was just meant to practise walking in and out, before eventually sitting down to enjoy the nice meal set for the occasion. It was nothing intense, nothing high-stress or extreme. 
It was meant to be fine.
And it was, all things considered. Everything ran smoothly, everyone stood where they were meant to stand and there wasn’t a doubt in anyone’s head that the wedding itself would run smoothly. 
But it didn’t feel fine in your head. 
You had taken your place in the line of bridesmaids, waiting for your cue to start walking down the makeshift aisle. You had stepped out right on beat, you kept your gaze forward, you stood on your marked spot and then you turned to wait for Lucy to make her way down the aisle. 
Except your eyes shifted away from the bride and found Nico’s gaze. 
He should have turned his head to look at the approaching bride-to-be like everyone else was. He should have been watching the ceremony, enjoying the love shared between the happy couple you were all here to celebrate. He should have been looking the other way.
But he was looking at you. 
He was looking at you with a soft smile—one that only widened the second he realised you were looking right back. The skin around his eyes crinkled with his smile, his chain was peeking out the open collar shirt and the soft breeze was making strands of his hair flutter down onto his forehead and—
Fuck. 
You were falling for Nico Hischier. 
The realisation hit you hard and fast, it almost felt like you were winded by the thought. It was a small blessing that everyone was focused on Lucy, that they were far too preoccupied to watch the way you stumbled slightly in your spot at the weight of your sudden realisation. 
Well, everyone except Nico.
He frowned a little, a crease forming between the brows and you could see the concern in his eyes even with the large distance between you. You could see the way he tilted his head slightly, the silent question hanging between you as you just flashed him a small smile and nodded your head. 
You had to tear your eyes away from him before your lungs caved in or your heart burst out of your chest. You had to force yourself to remember to smile and focus on the rehearsal dinner. You had to force yourself to remain normal.
Because he was Nico Hischier. 
He was captain of the New Jersey Devils. He was your colleague. He was your newly-made friend. He was here doing a favour after Jack practically threw him in the deep-end. He wasn’t here to witness your sudden and mind-boggling realisations. 
So, when the dinner was starting to be served and he found your side again, you didn’t hesitate to lie through your teeth. 
“I’m okay,” you told him, a kind smile on your face that you hoped was believable. “Trust me, Nico, I’m fine. Just got a little dizzy, must have low blood sugar or something.” 
Because you were here for your friend’s wedding. And he was here to help you out. 
There was no place for your newfound feelings.
To absolutely nobody’s shock, the wedding went through without a single hitch.
The ceremony ran through smoothly with pretty vows and sweet kisses exchanged between the newly married couple. As the reception rolled around, speeches were given, laughs were shared and dinner was served as the guests all enjoyed the union of Lucy and Tom and their love. 
It was sweet. It was perfect. It was everything your best friend deserved for her wedding.
It didn’t take long after the dinner for the first dance to commence, a soft smile in place as you watched Tom and Lucy softly sway to their chosen song. They looked lost in their own world, so caught up in each other like they forgot everyone else existed. 
A pang of longing hit you but you shoved it away. 
It was somewhere between your third and fourth glass of wine when Lucy found you, dragging you towards the dance floor with some halfhearted rambles about wanting to get pictures of all the bridesmaids and groomsmen dancing before you all got shit-faced drunk.
It was your unfortunate luck that the photographer paired you with Jackson before you had the chance to disagree, to escape the way Bryce was glaring at you like you had chosen him.
“She isn’t you.” 
You tried to keep your eyes anywhere but his face, to try and focus on something other than his hands on your waist. You thought you could zone out and that maybe the song would pass quickly, but the universe had other plans for you.
“It’s not like how it was when I was with you,” Jackson continued. 
“What do you genuinely think this conversation is going to achieve?” You asked him, gaining the courage to lift your head to look him in the eyes. You kept your voice down to avoid attention, to avoid creating a scene. “We’re done. We were done years ago when you chose to throw our relationship down the drain. I’ve moved on, you should too.”
Jackson shot you a look. “Tell me you haven’t felt it this week. Tell me you don’t feel the pull—”
“I don’t,” you stated bluntly. “And I have no interest in what you’ve felt this week. I don’t care.”
He frowned. “Because of your lil’ hockey player?”
“Little isn’t the word I’d use to describe him but no,” you answered honestly. “Not because of him but because of you. You ruined things, Jackson, and I moved on with my life. Accept that.” 
Jackon’s frown only deepend. He opened his mouth and you could only imagine what he was going to say, could only imagine what bullshit he was about to pull out of his ass. But before he got the chance, a firm hand landed on his shoulder to halt his movements. 
“Mind if I cut in?” 
Jackson glanced over his shoulder to see Nico standing there, smiling like nothing was wrong, like he wouldn’t happily put Jackson in his place if he disagreed. And maybe your words got through to him or maybe Jackson accepted it was not worth arguing with a man over fifty pounds heavier and four inches taller than him. 
He turned to look at you, saying nothing as his jaw clenched in response before he wandered off. 
Nico hardly wasted any time in taking up Jackson’s spot, one arm wound around your waist and tugging you close whilst the other intertwined with your hand. He looked down at you, eyes full of concern, fondness and something else as he noted how tense you were.
“You okay?” His voice soft and quiet but, fuck, it was exactly what you needed to hear. “He didn’t say anything, right? Because I can—”
“I handled it,” you assured him with a soft smile, squeezing his hand to punctuate your point. “But thank you for being my knight in shining armour.”
“Selfishly, I wanted to do it the second the dance started,” Nico admitted, and if he hadn’t been drinking all night, you would have assumed the pink flush to his cheeks was a blush. “I mean, you’re my date after all. Surely first pick dancing rights go to me, no?”
You laughed, shaking your head. “First pick in the draft, now in dancing…you’re quite the man, Hischier.”
“I’m consistent,” he retorted, tugging you that little bit closer until you had the excuse to rest your head against his chest. 
And for a moment, with your cheek pressed against his shirt and his presence engulfing, you let yourself pretend this moment would last forever. You let yourself enjoy the last day Nico Hischier would pretend to be your boyfriend and imagined a world where it wasn’t really pretend at all.
Lucy wasn’t happy that you had to leave early the next morning, but she understood that both of you had to return to New Jersey.
It was dreadfully early—far too fucking early with how late you stayed up the night before—to start an eleven hour road trip, but Nico had just smiled and told you to nap the first few hours whilst he drove the first stint of the journey. 
You knew he was right, that you should have rested and gotten a little sleep but you couldn’t bring yourself to stay asleep for long. You felt like you were wasting time, you were wasting precious hours in this little bubble you had created with Nico that would burst by the time you both returned to Newark. 
So, you did what every normal and sane person did and stocked up on coffee and energy drinks at the next service station stop to keep you fuelled through the drive.
It was no different to the drive down to Charleston except for a shift in the energy. It was easier, in a sense. On the way down, Nico was essentially a glorified stranger to you that you had only shared a number of conversations with. But it felt different now, it felt like you actually knew the boy in the seat beside you. 
And it was bittersweet in that sense, too.
Because you loved this. You loved how easy it was to talk to him. You loved how you got to see the side of Nico Hischier that enamoured the fans, the team and the league. You loved that you got your own special version of him in the last week. And you didn’t want to lose that, you didn’t know if you would ever see this version of Nico again once you reached New Jersey. 
And as the hours passed and the closer you reached your destination, it felt like Nico realised the same. The car was tense and thick with tension, one that went unspoken but reeked of longing and the desire to cling onto the bubble the two of you created over the last week.
It was there, lingering and stewing and, yet, neither of you said anything about it once you reached your apartment complex.
“Thank you,” you said for what felt like the millionth time that weekend, but it was necessary. It had to be said. It meant so much more.
Thank you for coming with me this weekend. Thank you for backing me up. Thank you for being a good friend. Thank you for showing me who you really are even if it’s going to fuck with my head for the rest of my life. Thank you for being you.
“Any time,” he said, the words just as heavy as yours. You wish you knew what he meant by them. “Do you need help with your bags? I can—”
“I’ve got them,” you assured him.
His brows furrowed together. “Are you sure? I—”
“I’m sure,” you said, clearing your throat and finding the courage to finally look at him. You pushed away the stupidest and strangest urge to cry. “Well, see you on Monday then?”
Nico frowned a little but nodded. “See you Monday.”
It felt harsh being so blunt, so straightforward and direct. But you knew you needed to get out of that car as quickly as you could. Because you had spent the last week with Nico by your side the whole time, basked in the warmth of him as a person, and you knew all it would take was a few more moments alone with him for you to blurt out something stupid.
You knew you needed to get out of there and just be alone. To lock yourself in your apartment over the next twenty-four hours before you had to return to work, to attempt to wrap your head around the flurry of emotions bursting inside of you. You knew you needed to get behind that door before you had the urge to run back down to his car.
You couldn’t even bring yourself to look back at his car, to see if he drove off, as you reached the door of your apartment complex. You forced yourself to keep your gaze ahead, to put one foot in front of the other until you reached your apartment. You felt your body moving on autopilot as you unlocked the door, stepped inside and dumped the bags you had dragged up. 
And then, the overwhelming realisation and memories of the last few days washed over you. 
Fuck. You were in love with him. You were properly in love with him. You were going to have to go into work on Monday and see him there and pretend everything is normal. You are going to have to pretend for the rest of your life or until your feelings go away. You were going to—
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
You paused, the heel of your palm pressed to the centre of your chest as you tried to regulate your breaths. You had half the mind to ignore the knocks, to hope the person on the other side of the door just left you alone so you could curl up onto your couch with a fluffy blanket and a tub of ice cream.
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
But you had a nagging feeling this person wouldn’t leave.
You avoided the mirror in your hallway as you headed back towards your front door, twisting the handle and pulling the door back with the full expectation of seeing one of your neighbours on the other side. 
Instead, it was a panting and breathless Nico.
“Nico?”
“I can’t pretend anymore,” he blurted out, beyond the point of caring whether he was too blunt or straightforward. “I can’t pretend because I have spent the last few years pretending and I’m tired of it.”
Your brows furrowed together. “What are you—”
“I wasn’t lying when I told your friends,” Nico continued, his eyes never leaving yours. It was almost like he was afraid to look away. It was like he was scared you would disappear if he did, or he would lose the confidence he had to say what he had been feeling since he first saw you. “I had the biggest crush on you when you joined the team years ago.”
Your lips parted in surprise, but no words came out. No words were needed as Nico continued.
“And Jack knew. Everyone fucking knew how I felt about you,” he admitted with a laugh, one that was a little dry and self-depricating. “They knew how I felt about you before you even spoke to me. And then Jack saw the opportunity and he tried to help me but it just made everything worse.”
Your heart twisted at his words.
“Because it showed me what life would be like if I was actually yours,” Nico whispered, voice cracking and emotions raw. “It showed me what it would be like for you to hold my hand and call me your boyfriend and introduce me to your friends like I’m this huge part of your life. And now it fucking sucks that it’s not true, that it’s over. And I can’t just keep going on in life and seeing you at work on Monday and acting like I’m still okay with pretending—”
You kissed him.
He was standing at your doorstep confessing a million different things at once, confessing things that had your head spinning and your brain racing to catch up with. But he was standing there and he felt the same way and you just couldn’t help yourself but to grab his face and kiss him.
Nico sunk into the kiss like it was what his body was made for, like an instinctive reaction to grip your hips and pull you closer. Your arms slowly wound around his neck, tugging him down to deepen the kiss as every racing thought in your head stopped and there was just him, him, him.
“I don’t want to pretend either,” you murmured against his lips because you genuinely didn’t have it within you to pull away properly, to put any more distance between you.
You could feel him smile against your lips. “No?”
“No,” you swallowed harshly as you lightly nudged his nose with your own. “I don’t want to go back to the way everything was before the wedding. I don’t want you to become a stranger in my life.”
“Never, schatz,” he murmured softly before leaning down to press his lips against yours again, slow and purposeful. 
You let him slowly lead you back into your apartment, listened to the way he kicked the door shut with his boot as he led you towards the coach in your living room. You could feel his smile against your own as you fell back onto the cushions, his body a comfortable and familiar weight on you as memories of your mornings together flashed through your mind.
“Oh god.”
Nico pulled back, holding his weight on his elbows as he looked down at you with a frown. “What?”
“Jack is going to be so fucking smug,” you grumbled, playfully groaning whilst the boy on top of you just laughed. 
“You’re something else,” Nico murmured with a grin.
You raised your brows. “Good something?” 
“Best something,” Nico corrected before he leaned down to kiss you again. 
.
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miriaocs · 1 year ago
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GET TO KNOW YOUR TWST OCs (and their relationships)
(Or how I make up excuses to blabber about my OC lol. Most of the "who" questions are aimed at the twst cast, but feel free to include other twst OCs as well!)
Name: What does your twst OC's name mean? Why does Rook/Floyd call them [insert nickname]?
Inspiration: Is your twst OC inspired by any villains? Concepts? Anything Disney-related?
Age/Birthday: How old is your twst OC? When is their birthday? Whose birthday (among the cast) is closest to your twst OC's? Does the horoscope lie or do they get along well?
Dorm: Which dorm is your twst OC in? Why? Which qualities they have make them suitable for said dorm? Do they have a roommate and how is their relationship?
Class: Who is your twst OC's classmate(s)? How would you describe their relationship? Did they have different classmates in previous year and did they get along?
Height: How tall is your twst OC? Are they conscious about their height? Are they close to someone with similar leg length?
Hair/Eye color: What are your twst OC's hair and eye colors? Who got the closest/opposite palette to them?
Homeland: Where is your twst OC from? Do they know anyone from the same hometown prior to NRC?
Club: Which club does your twst OC join and why? Is there anything memorable about the club fair day/their first day at the club? Which clubmate is their favorite?
Subject: What is your twst OC's best subject? Worst? Do they study with another whom excels at the same subject? Do they ask anyone for help with the subject they are bad at?
Hobby: What are your twst OC's hobbies? Who among the cast will they possibly ask to join in their pastime?
Pet peeves: What are your twst OC's pet peeves and which one in the cast accidentally (or not) commit the "crimes"? How will your twst OC deal with that person?
Food: What is your twst OC's favorite and least favorite food? Why (optional)? Is there anyone they can share their favorite food? Is there anyone they can count on to take over the food they dislike?
Talent: What is your twst OC's talent(s) and who can properly appreciate that?
Unique Magic/Signature spell: What is your twst OC's UM (if applicable)? What can they do? What is the incantation? Is there any weaknesses/loopholes and who can exploit those?
Quote: Give me something your twst OC will say. Either something they always say or something iconic they said. Something that helps solve the problems or something that is a catalyst to even more issues.
(Ok I'm kinda running out of ideas here) Personality: Give me 3 adjectives to describe your twst OC. Or an essay. Whichever works. Whose personality among the cast is closest to your twst OC and do they get along?
Backstory: Tell me anything about your twst OC's backstory. Their childhood, their parents, their siblings etc. Does their backstory affect how they are as a character now and how they interact with the cast?
Pick only one: Let your twst OC pick only one and explain the reasons: only one favorite from each dorm, only one favorite housewarden/vice housewarden, only one favorite first/second/third year etc.
(For my beloved yume shippers) Partner: Who do you ship your twst OC with? Are they in a relationship? If yes, how did it start/end? If no, why?
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drewsarms · 9 months ago
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𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི heavily inspired by @shawtycoreee !! read her blurb and I had to write another concept that flew to my brain. also @nemesyaaa for making me come out of my shell!!! this is my first writing piece so please be nice. Hope you enjoy!!
𐙚 where reader makes a homemade video just for stalker!rafe.
𐙚 warnings: use of the word “Daddy”, slight mention of kidnapping, 18+ mdni
You knew all about Rafe Cameron’s ways. You also knew just how deeply he fell for you. In his mind you were all his and nobody else’s. “god I could take you away and never bring you back. Make you my little kook princess,” he thought. You were all he thought about. Every second. Every minute. Every hour. Day and night.
It was the next day and Rafe had been out all night doing business. When he reaches his front door he sees a hard drive lying on the ground. “What the hell,” he thought. When he picks it up to get a good look his eyes widen at what he sees. There was a pink note taped to it. “For my obsessive stalker, enjoy!”
Rafe quickly went upstairs to his room. Locked his door and put the hard drive into his computer. He was shocked by what he saw. His cock instantly bulging in his pants.
That night you were feeling unbelievably horny and a little bit risky. The clocked ticked as you laid in bed. You tried to sleep it off but it wasn’t working. The more your pussy started to throb the more you thought about Rafe and you knew you had to do something.
You go down to the basement to find your families old cam recorder. The one that they used to film family trips and holidays on but it was no use anymore. As you tip toe back up into your room you set the camera right in front of you.
Rafe begins to take his pants off. Rubbing his hard cock. You begin to strip. First your shirt, that showed the outline of your perfect tits. Then you laid back on the bed spreading your legs revealing the wet spot on your painties. “Do you see what you do to me Rafey? You make me so incredibly horny.” You slowly start to take them off and your folds are just glistening. “Such a perfect little pussy,” he said to himself. You began to slowly rub your clit. Biting your lip to keep quiet. Your back arched as you rubbed your nipples with your other free hand. Letting out some of the most beautiful moans he’s ever heard. You spread your pussy open letting him examine it with his eyes. “Can’t wait for you to stretch me out Rafe. I can’t wait to feel your cock inside of me.” You say in that sweet voice that makes his cock throb. The way your pussy pulsates makes him so weak in the head. He couldn’t lie. This was better than any porn he’s ever watched. This felt better than any girl he’s ever fucked. He was completely pussy whipped. You began to slowly fuck yourself. Then speeding up. “I wish this was your cock Rafe. I need you so so so bad. I don’t want anyone else,” you say in between breathy moans as your pussy makes wet squeaky sounds. He chuckled to himself when he heard you say that. “I know princess. I-I want to stretch you out so bad. Daddy’s gonna take such good care of you.” He watched as your chest started rising and falling fast. As your voice became more high pitched. As cum started leaking out of your pussy. It was enough to send him beyond over the edge. He started bucking his hips. Fucking his hand. His eyes closed shut and his mouth open letting out whimpers and moans. His eyes open when he hears your sheets rustling and you giggling on the other side of the screen. “That was fun! I’ll see you soon. Bye Rafey!” You blow a kiss to the screen and then it turns off. “Soon. What does she mean by soon,” he thought.
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littlefreya · 1 year ago
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Pictures of You
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Summary: While Sy is deployed, his new girlfriend sends him nudes, and now he must take care of 'business' himself while fantasizing about the things he would do to her.
Pairing: Captain Syverson x himself x OFC
Word count: 1,200
Warnings: 18+ (Minors DNI), pure smut, graphic depiction of sex (male x female), male masturbation, bodily fluids, accidental creampie, dirty language, punishment, Freya using "peach". Being caught in the act. A bit of fluff. Not beta'd.
*No permission is given for reposting my work, translating, copying it, or parts of it and claiming it as your own*
A/N: It's been a while since I posted. I am working on a series (plural), but I got inspired by a lovely anon today. I'm not sure if I'm tagging anyone since my tag list is probably outdated and I'm not sure who still wants on. So, if you enjoyed, reblog, or comment, let me know. I'd appreciate it. 🖤
Pictures of You
At last, night unfurled, and the camp became quiet. 
The glorified Captain retired to his quarters, exhausted from a day of training recruits and tedious paperwork. This deployment would be long, and though he loved being The Captain - Logan Syverson was beginning to miss home.
It was all because of her. Sy shouldn't have caught feelings, long-distance relationships were never his thing, but damn, she was something else; a woman way above his league, pretty, hot as hell and way too smart to be with a military grunt like him.
Needless to say, fucking her made him feel like a god. 
Stripping down to his boxer, Sy slumped into his bed with a huff and reached for the private cell phone stuffed in his drawer. 
Twenty unanswered messages appeared on the screen—three of them from her.
Joy painted his face at the sight of her name. Ignoring everything else, he went directly to read her messages.
“Missing my big Sy”, the first message read. 
The other - “something to make you think of me.”  
The last message was simply an attachment. Curious, Sy tapped it open.
‘Fucking hell.’
The unmistakable pang of desire instantly surged through his groin. 
There she was, his sweet woman, naked and spread open like a present unwrapped, especially for him. She was sitting on her bed, one breast gripped by her palm with her nipple peeking through dark-painted nails while her other hand toyed with the sweet peach between her thighs. 
“Fuck,” Sy muttered. Already rock-hard. Absentmindedly, his hand massaged the hefty bulge through the fabric of his boxers, eliciting a deep groan from under his breath. 
‘What are you doing to me, babygirl?” 
It wasn’t just her naked body and the way her finger teased her own slit, but the look she gave him, the familiar neediness in her gaze, the way she bit her lip. 
Damn, if she was here right now… He’d fucking punish her for teasing him so bad! He’d pin her to the wall with his hand around her throat and show her what happens to naughty girls who like playing such wicked games. 
Now he had three fucking months to go, and all he could think of was how bad he wanted to be inside her tight little cunt.
‘Well, guess I’ll have to take care of this myself…’
Springing his cock free from his boxers, he ran his rough fingers up and down the length of his imposing shaft - slow at first, as Sy enjoyed taking his time, just as he would with her. His thumb rolled across the crown of his cock, gently grazing the tip while he imagined flipping her against the pitted wall in this room. Make her take it from behind so he could look at that perfect rounded ass of hers and watch his cock slipping in and out of her body. 
Still holding the photo open, he focused on her succulent cunt before spitting onto his open palm and griping himself once again. Tighter this time, he squeezed onto his girth and began to fuck his own hand. 
Pants and groans sputtered from his mouth, his chest heaving as he gradually picked up the pace. In his fantasy, he parted her ass cheeks and teased her dripping little hole until she begged him to fuck him. Then he forced himself all the way in, making her cry out. 
The sounds of her moans echoed in his memory, so helpless and desperate at the same time - he was nearly too much for her; that narrow cavern of hers could barely take his leviathan cock, but still, she took every pounding, becoming wetter around his shaft as her body not only yielded to accommodate him but lured him deeper inside. 
“I want inside you, babygirl…” Sy mumbled out loud, his hand now moving in ecstatic fervour. Sweat dripped down the contracting muscles of his abs. Soon, he felt himself swell even larger, and his sack strained with the desperate need for release. 
He tightened his grip, now choking his shaft and thinking of how it felt when she came around him. How she contracted all around his cock and shattered like glass smashing on the floor.
“Don’t come inside….” She’d warned him. She wasn’t on the pill. But this time, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from filling her full of his cum, and maybe… he wouldn’t want to… 
It was his fantasy, after all. 
“FUCK!!!” 
With the image spilling inside her, he allowed himself to be swept by the fierce waves of pleasure, his entire body buzzing with bliss as hot, thick ribbons of ecstasy spilt over his fingers. He might have shouted too loudly, but it’s not like he ever gave a fuck. 
It took Sy a few good minutes to climb down to earth, and then he chuckled hoarsely as he noticed the mess he had left on his hand. Shaking his head, he reached for a towel and wiped himself clean before returning to gaze at her photo. 
“What am I gonna do with you, doll?”
Well, there was an idea. He could repay the favour by sending her a photo of himself. Usually, he was against this type of stuff, but what she did was particularly risky for a woman, and if she was bold enough to treat him, he could do the same. Besides, they had three months until they could meet again. He better make sure she remembered who she belonged to.  
He stroked himself lightly. Still semi-hard, he wondered whether he could work himself to another erection this soon when a knock sounded at the door.
“Mother of f…. One moment !!!” 
Sy yelled. Irritated, he briefly tucked his shaft back in his boxers and jumped out of bed. The room smelled rancid, but Sy couldn’t bring himself to care. He couldn’t even bring himself to put on a shirt as he rushed to the door.
“What?” He grunted before getting to see who was on the other side.
‘Well, fuck me sideways.’
It was a woman because why the hell not? Private Hicks, to be precise. The young thing’s eyes flared with surprise and then snapped to the floor to avoid staring at her sweaty, half-naked superior, but not before catching a glance of his hairy, tattooed chest and the semi-erected bulge in his groin.
The strong scent of sweat and sex hit her nostrils like a smack in the face. It took everything not to curl her face. There was no need to put two and two together to realise what she had just intruded. 
“Sir.” Hicks saluted in badly hidden embarrassment. 
Sy let out a deep sigh. Clearly, she knew what he was doing before she arrived. She probably heard him come all over himself right before knocking. Frankly, he wasn’t ashamed. 
“Get on with it, Private.”
“Sir,” she repeated, her voice a slight tremble. “ I’m sorry to bother you… but the Major asked me to get you.” 
Sy scratched the back of his head and groaned deeply. “Tell him I’ll be there in 10.” 
Without any other comment, he shut the door, leaving Hicks to wander back to the Major’s office, all shaken and quaking. 
As she walked away, she couldn’t help but bite her lips. All across her body, she felt those little electric streams of excitement, and her breath suddenly became shallow. She shouldn’t have thought of her superior like this, on what he did behind that closed door just a moment before she arrived, but Captain Syverson was too hot to handle and, needless to say, too loud. 
Well, she’d have to take care of herself later…
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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 6 months ago
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Pairing: Russell Shaw xf!reader, Reader POV
Summary:  The last thing that you wanted was to be woken up in the middle of the night by Colter Shaw for a favor, but when he shows up toting a ruggedly handsome man with green eyes you decide to forgive him. Reader is the niece of Velma and Teddi!
Word Count: 10.3K
Warnings: I'm gonna label this one 18+ just in case I missed anything. Blood, Cleaning Out A Wound, Mentions of Allergies? Gunshots, Some Cursing, A Bit of Sexual Innuendo, Sexual fantasy/reader has active imagination, Self-deprecating Thoughts/Body Issues (reader), Mentions of Infidelity, Reader Is A Single Mom, Appearance Of Creepy-Jerk Ex Husband, Probably a Poor Description Of What It’s Like To Be A Single Mom (I tried my best, please I do not mean to offend anyone❤️), Russell Shaw might be a little bit OOC. Reader is occasionally described as "curvy."
Song Inspiration: Long As I Can See The Light By Creedence Clearwater Revival
Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n if any. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite! This is my first time writing for Russell Shaw, so, please be gentle. 😅
Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.
Main Masterlist
A/N: I finally watched Tracker… Could you tell? 😂
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Sunday nights, in your opinion, were the worst.
It was like the last few moments of freedom before you were thrust into a busy work week, like the last few rays of light before the coming darkness that you barely survived with copious amounts of coffee and bloodied fingertips. Monday always loomed, but never as much as on Sunday nights.
The dull thud of your phone vibrating against your wooden bedside table grates on your ears and pulls you from the sweet precipice of sleep before you can fall into the void.
It felt as if you’d just collapsed into your bed and one look at the alarm clock on your bedside table as you blinked your bleary eyes confirmed it. It was 3:58 am, which meant you had been in bed for exactly three minutes.
You were still covered in chocolate cupcake batter, pink frosting, and rainbow sprinkles from the last six hours you'd spent in the kitchen making gluten free, sugar free, and peanut free cupcakes for a bake sale at your son’s school.
Even though you hadn't volunteered Stephanie Jacobson, or rather the wicked witch of the PTA, had cornered you in the pick-up line on Friday afternoon to remind you of your "duties as a parent" and the coming bake sale to support the building of the new gym. And then she’d handed you a list of student allergies and asked you to create something that was safe for everyone.
Taste be damned.
Why the school needed a new gym you didn't know, but the guilt that rose when Stephanie mentioned your "duties as a parent" was enough to make you say yes to whatever she asked you.
You had enough guilt already about raising your kids without a stable father figure, and the last thing you needed was guilt from a stuck up bitch in the PTA.
Stephanie reminded you of the girls in high school that used to pick at their food, the ones that knew exactly what to say to make you feel like a freak, the ones who dated the football players and spent their Friday nights wearing cheerleading uniforms and waving pom poms, and the ones who basically made everyone else's life a living hell.
Everything about her screamed superior. The flawless way she curled her perfect platinum blonde hair, the stylish clothes she wore than never seemed to have a wrinkle or a mashed carrot smeared on the pants, the supple breasts that she swore were real, a perfectly toned stomach that never seemed to change despite her having a child two months ago, and the easy way she handled all of her three children with a flourish of her left hand that housed a 6 karat diamond ring from her gorgeous husband that was so attentive, perfect, and rich that it made you feel sick to your stomach.
All of which anyone could read on her mommy blog that she'd dubbed "Little Mistakes Make Perfect Lessons," and the same blog that she'd created an empire from.
Fuck, you hated her.
Mostly because despite everything you tried you never had enough time in the day to look as flawless as she did.
Your hair never seemed to be as bouncy or perfectly styled, you never had time to put makeup on, you always had mashed carrot on your pants or some form of cheerio or baby food, as many times as you tried to carve out time for the gym you never seemed to make it, the small ring you'd once wore on your finger was sitting idle in your jewelry box upstairs where it had been for the past year after your husband of six years told you that he met someone else, and your stomach and your breasts… you didn't want to think about that right now.
You had two kids and you weren't going to pretend that it did nothing to your body, any part of your body. And as many times as you saw all the other mothers around you who were proud of the way they looked, you never had their confidence, especially not after the comments that your ex-husband had made each time the two of you finally had some time to be alone together.
But that wasn't to say you hated being a mom, you loved it, wouldn't change it for the world. It was just sometimes you wished you had a little help, that, and you wished that Mondays didn't exist. 
You groan as you reach for the phone that still vibrates desperately on your bedside table and flip it over to see who's calling before you answer it.
"Colter, why the hell are you calling me at four am?" You half moan, pulling the comforter up over your head as if that'll make Monday go away.
You'd been close to murder several times, first when you found your husband in your bed with his nineteen year-old secretary, second when your local coffee shop was out of espresso and you did your entire shift at the hospital with no coffee, and Colter Shaw waking you up at almost four in the morning was quickly becoming number three.
"Because I didn't want to wake up Emma or Luke. Can you open the door?" He replies, stating the names of your children, sounding slightly out of breath.
"What door?" You groan again, eyes still shut wishing that this was just a bad dream and Colter wasn't calling you because he needed your help… again.
"The front door. Please, I need you to let me in."
"Why are you here? Couldn't it wait until tomorrow? Did you try to call Teddi or Vel-"
"I'll explain when you come open the door."
"By doing that I'd have to get up."
"Please."
You hesitate. Colter didn't usually say please, let alone twice whenever he showed up needing your help.
You'd met him by accident.
Sure your Aunt Teddi had talked about the "rewardist" that she and your Aunt Velma worked with, but you hadn't been expecting to ever meet him. But when Colter got shot on a job and showed up at Teddi and Velma's home you'd helped patch him up. You'd been there picking up your six year old son Luke and your three year old daughter Emma, after work. Teddi and Velma watched them for you when your deadbeat ex Lance couldn't be bothered to give you the support you needed.
Which was all the time despite his continuous arguing that he was in their lives enough and if anything it was your fault that he didn't have more time with them.
Each time he said that it made you want to slam his head in the door of his brand new bright red BMW, the one he'd bought right after you found him in your bedroom plowing his secretary now girlfriend Crystal. Or as you liked to remember her, the girl who still believed that Santa Clause existed and that the U.S government was hiding him from the world.
But Colter had been hurt and it was just fate that you were there at your aunts home to pick up your kids.
Being an ER nurse meant that you knew how to patch Colter up and it wasn't long before he went on his way. That was about four months ago and since then you'd talked to him occasionally when he'd pop by at your aunts home or just to see if you could help him with something.
"Five minutes." You sigh.
This time you crawl out of bed, standing just to the side of it for a second shaking your head to clear the sleep, and grab the long sleeved blue colored duster/robe that was hanging on the back of your bedroom door. Navigating your way down the stairs in the dark as quietly as you can, while half asleep was difficult, but somehow you avoid falling to your death.
Unfortunate, because now you have to go see what Colter wants at freaking 4 am.
The second story home had been you ex-husband's idea, stated that the two of you needed "room to grow" and that the two of you were "investing in your future."
You frown at the thought.
Yeah, room to grow right into your fucking secretary.
As if you needed another blow to your self esteem, but looking at the skinny red-haired goddess that he'd traded you in for that was about as dumb as a rock had been enough to send you so low you might as well be navigating the Marianas Trench in a submarine with a Megalodon chasing after you.
Maybe that means I'd get to be with Jason Stratham.
That thought was welcome. Honestly the thought of any man was a comfort, especially in the dry spell you'd been having since -well- since you'd had Emma three years ago.
Not gonna think about that right now.
The smell of chocolate cupcakes hung heavy in the air as you crossed through the messy living room, wafting out through the open concept kitchen into the space. One look into the kitchen would show enough cupcakes to make anyone salivate, and yes maybe you'd eaten a few before going up to bed, but eating the chocolate didn't count if it was on Sunday night and you could always go to the gym tomorrow…
Yeah. Like that'll happen.
You open the front door. "Alright, somebody better be dying Colter or I swear that I'll-" You stop mid-sentence when you take in the scene on your porch.
Colter is standing there, looking worse for wear. His usual black jacket is gone, he's got a black eye and a scrape along one of his perfect cheekbones, but that's not who you're looking at.
Colter isn't alone.
There's a man leaning heavily on Colter, his muscular right arm is thrown across Colter's shoulders and due to the fact that the man is a little bigger than Colter, he's buckling slightly under his weight. The man is wearing a green army jacket that is soaked around his left shoulder in blood, his dark hair is falling long into his bearded face, and his skin is a few shades paler than it should be. But that doesn't make him any less handsome.
The man still manages to throw you a sly grin, brilliant green eyes shining beneath the strands of his dark hair. "I think you got your wish sweetheart."
"You're not dying Russell." Colter sighs as if he's annoyed. "Hi." He directs at you.
You do feel a little bit bad about saying that now, but you shake it off.
"What the hell happened?" You say as loud as you dare and pull the front door further open so Colter can drag the man, now named "Russell" into your home.
"Shoot out." Colter breathes. "Where do you want him?"
"Kitchen table." You say trying to reach for Russell's left arm to help Colter, but he groans low under his breath and you retract your hand.
"You've got to be a little gentle with me sweetheart." Russell laughs more to himself, but it comes out in a choked sound. "But you can have me wherever you want."
"Colter, he needs to go to the hospital." You say, following behind them, keeping your voice down. "I don't think that I can-"
"Can't, they'll report it. They have to report all gunshots, you know that." Colter grunts, helping Russell lay back on the large kitchen table. "Why are there so many cupcakes in here?"
"Bake sale at Luke’s school." You clip while waving a hand and looking down at Russell who is laying on the kitchen table.
You can't deny that he's attractive, even in this condition. Russell has the perfect ruggedly handsome features that would make the smartest girl stupid and combined with the piercing green eyes that shine beneath the hair that's fallen forward into his face, even you could see yourself being susceptible to his charm.
Fuck.
Deep down you know that Colter is right, that if he did go to the hospital they'd be required to report it and that meant police and an official report. You figured that it was the last thing that Colter wanted.
Then again the guy has so many marks on his record already. You eye the man on your kitchen table. Russell kinda looks like he would have a few marks too.
"Don't want who did this to find him." Colter clarifies.
"So instead you brought him to my house where my children are?" You cross your arms over your chest.
The fear that whatever Colter and Russell had stumbled upon following behind them to your home made a cold trickle of fear race down your spine.
"We weren't followed." Colter soothes. "I promise I'd never do that to you. And I've got Bobby doing a trace to make sure they don't come close."
He actually looks a little hurt that you'd think that of him. Colter was a lot of things, but uncaring was not one of them.
You relax, but don't apologize despite the guilt swimming in your gut. "Fine. Give me a second." You leave the room to find the first aid kit in the hall closet, the same one that you'd made for your aunts to keep at their house if Colter showed up in the middle of the night with this exact problem. You'd even been involved enough to show your aunts how to deal with a gunshot wound if you weren't there.
When you get back in the room, Colter is removing Russell's jacket, and Russell grits his teeth when it jostles his left arm.
You set down the kit and reach for the bottom of Russell's shirt to pull it up off him, and he chuckles.
"Aren't you going to buy me a drink first? Better yet we could have a few bottles of my home brew-"
"She's not going to help you, if you annoy her." Colter interrupts.
"I told you that I didn't need anyone's help, I'm perfectly fine- ow!" Russell exclaims when you accidentally yank the shirt over his left arm. "Your bedside manner is a little lacking." He grunts, but his eyes still twinkle with humor.
"Too bad. I'm tired and I've been making chocolate cupcakes for the past six hours, so you get what you get and you don't throw a fit."
"What?" Russell grins at the rhyme that you often tell your children.
You shake your head, and drop your eyes to his chest. There are two perfect circles on his right upper pectoral muscle, but not high enough to reach the collarbone and one in his left bicep where blood seeps around the bullets, but truthfully you're trying not to notice how perfectly muscular he is. There are dark splashes of tattoos against his skin, swirling around other scars that resemble slashes and bullet wounds that you wish to drag your fingertips across to study each mark, to memorize each one beneath the soft pads of your fingers.
How is he just as beautiful covered in blood?
You clear your throat to focus back at the task at hand, examining the current wounds. "Okay. The good news is that the one on your arm is through and through, but these two," Your hand hovers over the two on his right upper chest. "I've got to extract the bullets. Which means that this is going to hurt."
"Been through worse sweetheart."
Your eyes scan the rest of his scarred muscular chest thoughtfully. "Yeah, you have." You murmur it more to yourself than to Russell, but he still grins.
Colter's phone rings shrilly in the kitchen and he groans. "One second. Try not to make her want to kill you Rus."
"No promises little bro."
Oh, so this is Colter's brother.
You'd heard little bits and pieces about Colter's brother, mostly second hand from your Aunt Velma. One of the best things about going over to Teddi and her home was sitting in the living room and hearing Velma gossip about everything she heard from Teddi while drinking wine and eating fancy cheese that you could never afford.
Russell Shaw was no exception.
"Alone at last." Russell says with a wink. "I didn't think he'd ever leave."
"I'm going to get some water to clean these with." You reply, ignoring him, but when you turn away the end of your mouth quirks up into a smile.
He wasn't what you were expecting based on all the rumors that you'd heard from both of your aunts, in fact, you thought he was kind of charming.
You roll up your sleeves and wash your hands before turning back to Russell. He's sitting up on your kitchen table, hands braced on his sides, with his legs spread wide apart. He doesn’t look like someone with three gunshot wounds, and you wonder if this is a regular day for him. Colter certainly didn't get shot that much.
"So are you a rewardist too?" You ask standing between his legs and trying not to focus on the warmth of his breath against your collar bone.
"Naw. I work for a private security contractor." He breezes.
"Oh." You swallow, looking up into his green eyes for a minute. They're even more beautiful up close, green with flecks of gold around the iris that flicker in the light like stars. "Is it okay if I touch you?"
"You don't gotta ask me that sweetheart, the answer will always be yes."
You flush and brace your hand on his left shoulder, before pouring water into the two wounds on the right side of his chest, trying to clean them the best you can before you extract what's left of the bullets. His skin is warm and smooth beneath the palm of your hand and it's difficult to focus.
Just pretend you're in the hospital and you're treating a patient. You take in a shallow breath. He's just a patient and he's not that good looking.
You know you're lying to yourself, but you were trying your best. It probably didn’t help given the current dry spell you were in or the fact that he even smelled good. Something like gunpowder, leather, and a hint of something spicy that you bet was his shampoo. It prickled under your nose, and activated something in the back of your mind that was having a hard time being quiet. You hadn't been this close to a man you found attractive in a long time.
"Okay. This is going to hurt." You say as you look through the small medical kit that you'd grabbed from the hall closet for the tweezers, trying to calm the thudding of your heart.
"It's okay." Russell replies. "Do what you have to baby. I won't stop you."
You weren't prepared for the warmth that bloomed in the pit of your stomach when he called you baby in the wonderfully rough rumble of his voice.
A voice like that could convince me to jump into a pit filled with alligators with no regrets. Fuck. I'd bet that a voice like that could make me- FOCUS. I will focus. He is Colter's brother and he just got shot. He doesn't need you lusting over him.
Extracting the bullets is as painful for you as it is for him. Watching the way his face scrunches up in pain hurts you more than you thought it would. His hands grip the rim of the wooden kitchen table so hard that they're turning white, and Russell's jaw is clenched so tight that you're afraid that it's going to snap.
You squeeze his left shoulder to give him some comfort. "Almost done." You murmur, searching for the second bullet.
Russell lets out a breath when you finally fish out the other bullet and drop it into an empty cup with a resounding "ping" just as Colter walks back into the room looking worried.
"What?" Russell asks him, looking over your head at his brother.
"That was Bobby. He said that the trace we put on the phone just got a hit a few miles north of here." Colter states. "I'm gonna go check it out."
"Alright, I'll come with." Russell starts to get up, but you push him back with your right hand that you've still got pressed against his left shoulder. Difficult given the fact that he was almost twice the size of you and broader than anyone you'd ever seen. And also difficult because of the way you were trying to ignore how good it felt to feel the pull of his muscles beneath your hand.
"No. You still need stitches and I haven't finished patching you up." You clear your throat, but it still sounds a little hoarse.
"Baby as much as I like you ordering me around-“
"It's alright Russell, I've got this. Just stay here and let her take care of you." Colter interrupts.
Russell frowns at his younger brother. "I'm fine."
"You're not." Colter rolls his eyes. "Stay here. I'll be back in a few hours to pick you up." He turns to look at you. "I'm sorry that we woke you up-"
"It's okay." You shrug. "But you owe me."
"Just add it to my bill." Colter smirks.
Honestly, you weren't as angry as you were when you answered the phone. Something about Russell was different and you didn’t mind helping him at all.
He wasn't like anyone that you had ever met, certainly not in the circles you ran with.
All the dads from your mom friends were blue and white collar workers who worked in the big office buildings downtown, wore suits to work and were more straight-laced, but there was something refreshing about Russell.
He was mysterious, sexy, and his had this aura of self-resilience and survival that you found immensely attractive. Especially when compared to your ex, who couldn't survive without his mocha-caramel double shot latte or wifi.
Russell was the exact opposite of him and you found yourself wanting to know more. More about the almost beautiful scars that curved over his muscular body, more about each tattoo that he’d chosen, and more about him.
He seemed like the kind of guy that hid his trauma under easy smiles and jokes, the kind of person that shrugged off anything that seemed remotely serious with a well placed joke, but you could feel that there was something deeper beneath that he didn’t allow many to see.
And you wanted him to show you.
You weren't sure where any of this was coming from. Russell probably was about as stable and consistent as his brother, and you liked consistency. Spontaneity and surprises tended to make you anxious. But not with Russell.
Though the stability might have been an issue. You were a single working mother, which meant that you didn't want to introduce some random guy into your children's life just to have them get attached and him to bail with no strings attached and-
Calm down. You just met the guy, it's not like he's asking you out on a date.
When Colter leaves and after you’ve cleaned around the wounds the best you can with some alcohol, you realize just how quiet it is in your kitchen.
“You know, I think I’ve seen you before.” Russell says breaking the silence while you search for a needle and thread in the medical kit.
“Really? Where?" You ask looking up.
“In my dreams.”
“Wow." You smile at him. "That line is pretty cheesy."
You shift your right hand over to begin to sew up the wounds on his chest. Russell doesn't even wince when you push the needle through, almost as if he didn't notice it at all.
It made sense, given how many scars and tattoos covered his body. You remember what he said about "being through worse" and it made you feel bad for him, to worry about him. Odd given the fact that the two of you had just met.
"Well I'm a little distracted at the moment sweetheart. It's not often that I get such a beautiful woman to take care of me."
"I thought you didn't need my help?" You smirk.
"Maybe I did." He admits sheepishly.
"Mhmm."
"So how do you know my brother?"
“Why?”
“Trying to see if you’re off limits or not.” Russell tilts his head to the side and flashes a charming smile.
You laugh at his boldness. You’d never met someone so upfront before, it was refreshing. Most of the men you’d meet occasionally at work tended to beat around the bush and made you want to give them a map to get to the point. "We met when he got shot a few months ago."
"Oh so the two of you aren't-" He wiggles his eyebrows and you snort.
"No."
"Huh."
"What?"
"I was just wondering why not?"
"What?"
"Well, you're gorgeous, you're smart, and you're not scared of blood or gunshots. Colter really seems to be dropping the ball."
"Colter doesn't exactly have a stable lifestyle. And I'm kind of complicated."
You were, there wasn't any way around it.
"Why do you think that?"
"Because I've got two kids."
Russell blinks in surprise. "Really?"
"Mhmm." You hum continuing your task, not phased by the blood at all.
His eyes trace your figure for a minute, making a shiver travel down your spine. It was the first time in a long time that you were okay with someone looking at you like that and to be honest, the first time that you wanted someone to look at you like that in a while.
After everything that happened with your ex-husband and his secretary you were more inclined to sit on your couch with a glass of wine and read away your troubles with a steamy romance novel that did more for you than any of your ex-husband's attempts to satisfy you. It also didn't help that you had no interest in going out with your few friends and meeting someone at a club who probably would never call you again and probably wouldn't be as enthusiastic to learn that you were a mom.
You'd only been on one date since you'd broken it off with your husband with your aunts accountant Jerry, and the date stuttered to a halt when he learned you had two children and weren't interested in having an open relationship.
"I wouldn't have guessed that."
“Really? The mountain of chocolate cupcakes wasn’t a clue?” You arch an eyebrow with a smirk, while gently tying off the string to close the first wound before moving on to the second.
“I thought you just really liked baking. And I’m okay with coming home every night to a mountain of chocolate cupcakes if it means you’re there too.” He winks.
“Not sure you want any of those.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because they’re gluten free, sugar free, and nut free.”
The horrified look on Russell’s face makes you feel like you’d just told him that hot dogs do in fact contain trace amounts of dog.
“Why on earth would you make them like that?! They're not even cupcakes anymore!" He exclaims.
You found it funny that he seemed more upset over the mutilation of the chocolate cupcakes than over being shot.
Maybe he's always like this?
"I know. I'm a monster." You sigh. "But Stephanie Jacobson said I had to." You let out a frustrated sigh with her name.
Bringing anything other than what she asked for was a suicide mission. The last person who did that was Gale Smith in the great Fourth of July Cook-out calamity of 2021. In Gale's defense, no one though that the bushes would catch fire so fast, but Stephanie had a memory like an elephant so Gale decided to transfer her children to the school one town over. The last thing you wanted was for your name to go down in history for the Cupcake Catastrophe of 2024.
Russell leans forward and lowers his voice like it's a secret. “Is Stephanie your imaginary friend?”
“No!” You laugh. “She’s this other mom at my son’s school who said I wasn’t living up to my ‘duties as a parent’ and that I needed to ��participate.’”
"She sounds great."
"Oh yeah, we're practically best friends." You continue to work on the other wounds in the silence that follows.
"I bet you're a good mom." Russell says watching you with an unreadable expression. He's leaning a little bit towards you still, making the smell gunmetal, leather, spice, and just a hint of mint come through the space between the two of you.
Damn he smells really good.
"Uh-huh. You've known me for ten minutes and you haven't seen me with my children-"
"I can tell."
"Is that your superpower or something?" You reach for a bandage to lay over the wound in his chest smiling to yourself. "All the other useful superpowers like being bulletproof got taken?"
"I don't think it's useless if it makes you smile like that when I say it, sweetheart."
Your eyes flick upwards to Russell's face. His green eyes are shining in the light of your kitchen, his dark hair still hanging over his forehead, and he is still just as ridiculously handsome as he was the moment Colter dragged him through your front door. You don’t remember why you were so mad at Colter anymore.
"Has anyone ever told you that you're too smooth for your own good?" You raise your eyebrow.
"No ma'am." Russell cracks an even wider smile and it makes you loose all feeling in your legs. He was just so effortlessly handsome that it made you want to do something stupid, like have sex with him on top of the same kitchen table that you serve blueberry pancakes to your children.
"Hmm." You bite the inside of your cheek. "Well, now you know and maybe now that you're aware, it could prevent you from getting shot."
"Are you saying I got shot because I'm too smooth?"
"Maybe."
"Because usually it has a different effect."
"Huh. Well in that case, maybe try using some of that to smooth things over and you'd avoid getting shot." You begin to wrap another fresh bandage around the bullet wound on his arm, bracing your free hand against his chest, trying to ignore the way his skin is warm and chiseled beneath your palm.
He had the kind of body that you'd never imagined actually existed. Russell Shaw looked like he walked out one of the romance novels you loved so much.
Hell, they should use pictures of him to make the book covers.
"I'll remember that next time." Russell pauses. "But then it means I wouldn’t get shot and I wouldn't get to have you patch me up."
"I guess not."
You didn't think that you'd smiled as much as you had in the past twenty minutes with him than you had your entire five year marriage. Not to mention that it was nice to talk to someone who wasn't trying to convince you why they should be allowed to have a cookie before dinner.
A charged silence passes through the air between the two of you, his eyes locked on yours sending goosebumps over your skin. You weren't sure if anyone had ever looked at you like that before. You'd noticed that most gave you the obligatory skate over, but Russell didn't. He looked at you as if he was studying you as if he were genuinely curious to know more. 
Your eyes trace his broad shoulders, toned abdomen, and muscular arms, noting that he's the kind of strong and broad that was made to handle someone a little more curvy like you. And you'd be lying if you said that you hadn't thought about it more than once since Russell came through your front door.
You felt your mind sink into the fantasy of Russell pining you to the kitchen table and feeling the warmth of his rough hands against your body-
Snap out of it. The guy is bleeding, he got shot. He needs to rest.
"I think you'll survive." You smile pulling back from him to clear your head. It was much easier when you couldn't smell him as strongly. "And if Colter isn't going to be back for a few hours you can crash on the couch. It's not the most comfortable but-"
"I'm sure it's fine." Russell shrugs and stands from your kitchen table.
You try and fail to ignore how his muscles pull with the movement as he reaches for his shirt and you step forward to help him put it on, knowing that it might hurt with his injury. "Okay." You clear your throat, that has become thick all of a sudden. "And if you're hungry I've got plenty of cupcakes-"
"Please don't call them that. They're an disgrace to the cupcake name."
"Yeah, but the ones in the microwave are actually cupcakes. I had to make a few that were edible." You gesture with your hand and laugh at how quickly Russell goes to get one.
He doesn’t even bother to pull away the wrapping before he takes a bite and he audibly moans. Russell looks at you awestruck. "Holy shit, you made this? Where have you been all my life?"
"Shut up." You roll your eyes at him.
"I'm serious, this cupcake is my reason to keep living. Here I thought putting sriracha on French fries was the height of cuisine, but damn."
You could feel yourself blush bright red at his compliment. You weren't used to a man going out of his way to compliment you on something other than how you looked, but everything about Russell Shaw was refreshing and nothing like you expected.
"Thank you." You wait another second, watching him eat more of the cupcake and smash icing and flecks of chocolate over his chin. You laugh at him and hand him a paper towel. "You're worse than my three year old."
"Your three year old is a lucky kid, if she’s got a mom like you to make stuff like this for her."
It's like he wants me to fall in love with him. How can someone look so unbelievably cute and sexy while covered in chocolate cupcake?
Don't answer that.
"Sometimes I think I'm the lucky one. I love my kids-" You say before you can stop yourself. You hesitate afraid that it would send Russell for the hills when you brought up the fact that you loved your children.
"Yeah?" Russell's smile brightens as he wipes his face with the napkin.
"Yeah." You blink mildly shocked. Of all the people in the world to talk about your children with, you never expected someone like Russell Shaw. “I do."
Again he was surprising you, and talking to him was just so refreshing and it made you feel like your head had finally cleared, like your chest was lighter and you could actually talk to someone for real without putting out this together image of yourself you thought you had to when inside you were crumbling from the overbearing expectations of the people around you.
The silence is back, filling the kitchen with a palpable energy that you wonder if Russell can feel, but you shake it off.
"I guess I'll see you in the morning. It was nice to meet you Russell, but I'm sorry that you got shot." You smile.
"I'm not." Russell smiles. "I got to meet you."
"Alright Casanova, I need to go to bed, because my kids will wake me up in about two hours." You frown over at the couch. "There's a pillow and a blanket down the hall in the bathroom closet." You gesture with one hand. "I'll see you in the morning." You repeat because you're not too sure what to say.
"Yeah. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
You turn and walk up the stairs to your bedroom, feeling the thin blue robe swishing around your ankles as you do.
And as you fall into your bed all you can think about as you start to drift is the ruggedly handsome man downstairs, with the brilliant green eyes that crinkle with his smile, and the large hands rough from hard work, that seems to be more than what meets the eye.
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The alarm clock on your bedside table might as well be employed by the devil for waking you up and the idea of smashing it to bits with the heavy metal table lamp that sits beside it crosses your mind. You weren't sure how many hours you'd gotten in, only that they weren't enough, and you were in desperate need of coffee.
You roll over on your back, looking up at your ceiling as you blink your eyes open, following the familiar sweeps of the paint brush that were left behind.
The memory of the night's events come back in full color and you stiffen remembering exactly why you'd gone to bed so late. Images of last night flash through your mind. Colter dragging a bloodied Russell through your front door, Russell sitting on your kitchen table looking much too attractive covered in blood, him flirting with you with a wide smile that made you feel warm from the inside out…
Oh fuck he's still on my couch. How am I going to explain that to my kids?
You dress in a flash and stumble down the stairs as quickly as you can, tripping and falling into the living room, but when you look you realize that Russell isn't on the couch. The pillow and brightly colored quilted blanket he used are neatly folded on one of the plush cushions, but he's nowhere to be found.
I guess Colter came to get him.
You weren't expecting the wave of disappointment that comes with that realization, but as you turn to go back up the stairs to ready yourself for the day, you hear your daughter’s voice.
"Mommy!" She says. "Look! Rus is making pancakes."
What?
You turn to investigate your spacious kitchen. It was still covered in an alarming amount of cupcakes, but that’s not what’s surprising, what’s surprising is Russell, standing at your crowded stove with a spatula in his hand, sliding a perfectly golden brown pancake around in the bottom of a pan.
You blink your eyes to make sure that you’re not imagining it and make sure that you’re not asleep.
"Hey gorgeous." Russell flashes a wide grin. "How'd you sleep?"
"Um-" You glance at where your daughter is sitting with your son, both eating stacks of pancakes at your kitchen table, the same kitchen table that you were fantasizing about Russell and you-
Nope. Not going there.
Honestly, any fantasy you had about him was blown away by the sight of him standing in your kitchen making pancakes for your children. Something so domestically wonderful that turned you on even more than the image of him shirtless sitting on your kitchen table.
This was something even your husband refused to do, cook. Any day that you tried to get him to, he'd said that it was your "job." And here Russell was standing in your kitchen looking even more effortlessly gorgeous cooking for your family without being asked.
"I sleep good. How did you sleep?" You ask taking a hesitant step towards him.
"Good. Better than I have in a bit actually." He turns back to the pan and flicks his wrist, flipping the pancake inside.
Emma claps happily and Luke watches Russell with a look of absolute awe on his face, while you try not to have impure thoughts about Russell in front of your children.
"You didn't have to make breakfast-"
"I did." He plates the pancake and holds it out to you. "I wanted to thank you for patching me up."
"It wasn't a big deal." You shrug, but take the pancake from the plate, rolling it up like a taco before you take a bite.
Russell cocks his head to the side studying you for a moment. "It was to me." His green eyes are just as hypnotic today as they were last night, tracing over your body in a way that makes pins and needles tickle over your skin. "Plus, wanted to make the kids something that wasn't gluten free, nut free, and sugar free. Emma sure can put away some pancakes."
It was odd to see someone so eager to make himself comfortable in your house, especially a man you barely knew and who you owed absolutely nothing to. Not to mention that Russell genuinely seemed happy to be making breakfast for your children as if he belonged there.
It was so different from every other man that you'd ever met, and you wanted to get used to it. You wanted to get used to having a man around again, to having Russell in your home and in your life. You'd never been spontaneous or wanted to jump headfirst without looking at the pros and cons, but watching Russell standing at your stove, with the sunlight coming through the windows behind him and illuminating his broad shoulders and sifting through his dark hair, you saw absolutely no downside.
"Yeah she's always had a good appetite."
"Hope she doesn't lose that. I hate it when women don't eat." Russell shrugs his shoulders and goes back to make a pancake for himself. "Plus Luke needs to bulk up. He said his dad is going to sign him up for baseball."
You stiffen at the mention of your ex, not sure if you should supply the information, or if you should let it slide. Russell's eyes flick down at your left hand for a half-second, so quickly you could have missed it, but you understood what he was doing.
"He's my ex-husband." You murmur low enough so only Russell could hear.
"Good." Russell replies with a knowing smirk. "Means that I don’t have any competition."
You roll your eyes at his reaction and walk over to where your children are eating. Luke is covered in maple syrup as per usual. He had always been a messy eater, but because he insisted on having his hair cropped short, it never seemed to be too much of a problem.
Just as Emma looks like your ex-husband, Lance, Luke looks like you. He has the same eyes and same colored hair, but he'd always been a little short for his age. Lance usually picked at him for that, but you didn't know what Lance was expecting, Luke was six years old, he'd grow!
"Good pancakes?" You ask, trying to wipe at his face with a napkin but he pulls away with an exclaimed "Mom!"
"What? You're covered in syrup." You laugh, raising the napkin again, but Luke dodges your hand.
"Mom!" Luke says again.
"Alright, fine. But go get dressed, your dad will be here to pick you up any minute." You say, urging him with a hand against his shoulder.
Today Lance was taking Luke to school and picking him up after for a baseball game, before staying with him at his apartment. You’d told your Aunt Teddi and your Aunt Velma that you'd help them plant a garden today, and Emma had been looking forward to it as much as you had.
Velma had been talking about it all through last week, and you’d gotten the day off specifically off for it. Emma was also excited about it because Teddi had bought flowers specifically for butterflies and your daughter loved them more than life itself.
You were looking forward to working out in the sun, feeling the healing rays against your skin, listening to the sounds of the world outside your aunts familiar home soothe you, play with the dogs for a little bit, and finally go inside for a few glasses of wine while Velma, Teddi, and you talked about the book of the month. Book club nights were especially special for Emma as well. Velma always poured Emma's apple juice into a plastic pink wine glass that she'd bought for Emma so she could feel included.
This book had been really good and you couldn't wait to share what you'd thought while eating expensive cheese and cupcakes and while the dogs circled below like raptors.
You loved being at their home. It was always such a comfort to be somewhere where you felt that you could be yourself especially after Lance left you. Your mother had died when you were a kid and your dad had never been equipped to handle things like that so your Aunt Teddi had picked up the slack in your early years and now after she'd married Velma, you had another person in your life who supported you and made you feel like you could be yourself. Both of them had been furious when they learned about what Lance had done and sat with you while you cried into a box of tissues.
It had been difficult to talk them both out of killing Lance. Surprising since your Aunt Teddi was usually the voice of reason.
Luke sighs, but listens to you, getting up from the table to make his way upstairs. You can hear his footsteps as he walks down the hallway above and into his room.
Despite his reluctance, he was looking forward to today as well. Sometimes you thought that he felt left out when you all went over to your aunts house. You knew that Luke longed for the attention of his father, and something broke inside of you each time your ex-husband made him feel forgotten.
You turn to look at your daughter. "Good pancakes?"
"Yes!"
"Did you tell Russell thank you?"
"Thank you Rus!" She sing-songs with a wide smile, before moving her plastic fork back into the pile enthusiastically.
"You're welcome sweetheart." Russell says from the stove, picking up the pancake in the skillet bare handed before he puts a generous stripe of maple syrup along the inside and rolls it up just like you did. "Do you want another one?" His gaze turns to you, warm and open.
Fuck, why is he so damn attractive?
"No I'm-"
The knock on the front door interupts your answer signifying the arrival of Lance. When he'd moved out of the house you'd changed all the locks and then refused to give him a key. Something that he'd pouted and stomped about worse than your toddler, but you'd held firm. You didn't want him in your house and you definitely didn't want her in your house either.
"Daddy!" Emma squeals and before you can stop her, she leaps from her chair like she'd been shot from a cannon and runs down the front hallway to open the door for your ex.
You sigh out a breath to prepare yourself for what comes next. Talking to Lance was always tense and as much as you tried to be civil, Lance didn't. He didn't pull punches, and often lacked the common decency that everyone else had.
Russell's studying you again, his easy smile slipping into a frown when he notes the change in your attitude.
"Stay here. This shouldn't take long." You force a smile, but it lacks the enthusiasm you’d had whenever you talked to Russell before.
Sometimes just the thought of your ex took the energy out of you, as if you were on a space ship and all the air got sucked out into the cold silent vacuum.
Lance is standing on the front step hugging your daughter with one hand while the other holds his phone behind her head, his gaze intently on the screen while Emma chatters in his ear. He's not paying attention though. He never was and never did.
His black hair is slicked back over his head and cropped shorter than the last time you saw him. Now it barely touches his collar but hangs long over the top of his head. His brown eyes glint an amber in the light of the sun, and he’s wearing a tailored blue suit with a dark patterned tie.
“Hey.” Lance clips to you as he stands, releasing Emma who is still trying to talk to him, but he ignores her.
You grind your teeth together. “Hi.”
He sighs audibly sensing the tension, as if it’s you that’s done something wrong.
“Emma, why don’t you go finish your pancakes?” You smile down at your daughter and pat her on the head. “We’ve got to go soon.”
“Okay! Bye daddy!”
“That’s nice honey.” He says absentmindedly, still typing furiously on his phone, while Emma rushes back down the hallway and into the kitchen, that is hidden from view of the front door.
“You know you could put the phone down for once. The world won’t implode if you wait a few seconds to answer a text.” You say.
“Don’t start.” Lance rolls his eyes.
The BMW idling at the curb catches in the early morning sunlight and you see a flash of red-hair. Crystal is in the passenger seat, her auburn hair piled on top of her head effortlessly, her lips painted a dark colored red, there’s a pair of heart shaped sunglasses over her eyes, and she’s wearing black dress low cut enough that her ample breasts spill out through the wide V.
She peers at you from where she sits in the car, her phone perched in her lap, and you watch her dark colored lips twitch into a knowing smirk when she catches you looking at her.
Each time you saw her was like taking a punch to the gut.  It made you pull your oversized sweater a little tighter over your chest self-consciously.
“I’m not starting anything. I’m just saying that you should pay more attention to-“ You begin, but Lance interrupts.
“I don’t want to do this with you. I have a deposition due today and I have to finish sending this email.” He snaps.
“Fine.” You sigh, trying to remain calm. You hated when he did this, when he made it seem like no one and nothing else was important except his job. “Luke is getting ready. I have to box up these cupcakes for a bake sale at the school. All you have to do is drop them off and tell-“
“Oh sorry babe. Can’t do the thing today.”
You bristled when he called you babe. You weren't his, not after everything the two of you had been through.
“What do you mean you can’t do the ‘thing’ today?” You plant your hands on your hips trying to comprehend what he's saying.
“With the kid. Sorry. Crystal made plans for us at some fancy restaurant or whatever. Supposed to be the best in the city-“
“What?”
“I can’t take the kid today.” He repeats slowly, this time looking up, but he doesn’t bother to apologize, and his gaze barely meets yours before he drops his eyes back to the hand clutched in his perfectly manicured fingers.
“But you promised Luke that you were going to take him to a baseball game today after school. That he was going to get to spend the night with you and-“
“Sorry.” The apology isn’t sincere and you know it, despite Lance’s attempts to drop his smile into a sympathetic frown. It comes across as more condescending.
Crystal honks the horn of the car as if to tell Lance to hurry up, and it takes a very large amount of effort for you not to flip her the bird.
“No. Luke has been looking forward to this all week! Not to mention I had to ask off for today specifically-“
“And I’ll apologize to him too.” Lance goes back to typing something on his phone. “This dinner means a lot to Crystal-“
“I don’t give two shits what means a lot to that red-haired bimbo!” You snap, the rage and frustration building in your chest. “You made a promise to your son to take him to a baseball game and actually spend time with him and that’s exactly what you’re going to do!”
Lance looks up from his phone, his eyes narrowing. “You always fucking do this.”
“Do what?”
“Pick a fight.”
“I am not picking a fight Lance. All you’ve done since you’ve shown up here is ignore your daughter and tell me that you’re backing out of the one thing I’ve asked you to do in months!”
“I told you that I have a meeting and a deposition due today! Damn it, what do you want from me? To quit my big job that pays for this house?” He steps forward towering over you. Lance was taller than you, but he had always been lanky and thin, unable to gain too much weight or muscle at a time. “Why do you find the need to make me feel like my life isn’t important?”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t say anything about your life! I’m talking about our son’s life-“ You shout incredulous.
“This is exactly why I got out when I did. Because you always try to control every little thing. You’re so damn OCD that if I did one microscopic thing that wasn’t apart of your ‘special plans’ you’d spontaneously combust! You never just shut your big mouth and let me just fucking live my life! You never let me feel like a man! And Crystal understands-“
“Crystal can’t even understand that pickles were once cucumbers! I doubt she can understand whatever warped reality you’re living in Lance.” You spit. “But I’m sorry that me asking you to be a part of our children’s lives is too much for you. That it’s such a chore for you to make them happy.” The frustrated tears had begun to burn against your eyes.
You didn’t know why you expected anything different. Lance had been doing this since your son was born, putting his career above everything else, working late, schmoozing whoever he could, being so damn selfish that he was willing to throw everything the two of you built together for the woman sitting in the car on the curb watching the two of you go at it with a sick satisfaction.
“Don’t fucking do that!” Lance roars and this time he slams his hand against the door frame so roughly that the glass inside shakes and you flinch. “I don’t know why I even try to talk to you. So why don’t you get your big ass up those stairs and-“
“Is there a problem?” Russell’s voice interrupts whatever Lance was going to say, his body sliding into the space behind you so suddenly that you didn’t hear him walk up.
But it felt good for him to be there, to feel the warmth of his body through the air at your back.
He places his hand on the door to open it up a little wider and to seem a bit more intimidating. Russell is easily taller and broader than Lance.
Lance looks up at him confused, puffing out his chest to look more intimidating. “Who the fuck are you?”
 “Maybe you shouldn’t use that kind of language around the kids-“ Russell says with a tight lipped smile.
“They’re my fucking kids. Don’t tell me how to talk.” Lance’s gaze flicks to you. “Who the fuck is this?”
“I’m Russell.” He replies before you can. “And if you know what’s good for you I’d take a few steps back from her.” Russell’s large hand gently presses against your waist, a comforting weight that you weren’t expecting, but welcome, nonetheless.
It made you feel a little bit bolder.
“Don’t tell me what to do!” Lance snarls. “Is this your boyfriend? Really? You finally decided to go out with someone and that’s who you pick?”
“Look buddy, if you keep talking to her that way, we’re going to have a problem.” Russell sighs. “And I don’t want to get any blood on your fancy suit.”
“I’m not your buddy. And trust me she’s not worth the fight.” Lance sneers at you, giving you a once over that makes you want to crawl into a hole and die.
Russell’s jaw clenches tight and he takes a step forward, but you hold out your arm to stop him.
“He’s not my boyfriend and even if he was, it’s none of your business who I date!” You snap back.
Lance only shakes his head, ignoring what you’ve said. “I’m serious pal you don’t want to get involved with her. She’s fucking crazy, not to mention nothing special when it comes to se-“
The next words are lost in the sound of Russell’s fist landing against Lance’s face, the sharp crack followed by the inhuman scream of Crystal at the car. Lance stumbles back off the front step clutching a hand to his face while blood streams through his pinched fingers and over his chin.
“I warned you. Now if you keep talking, I'll make your eyes match.” Russell growls, flexing his hand.
I hope he didn’t rip his stitches.
“You son of a bitch.” Lance sputters, his hand still holding his broken nose. “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer!”
“It’s worth it, if it shuts you up.” He replies unfazed.
Lance’s eyes narrow with hate as he looks at you one more time, before stumbling back to his car where Crystal has begun to wail over the amount of blood coming from his nose. The car squeals down the street and out of sight, leaving Russell and you standing on your front porch. Thankfully Emma was still in the kitchen eating her pancakes and Luke was upstairs, you didn't want either of them to see Russell punch their dad.
But that didn't mean that you wouldn't mind seeing it again.
You groaned when you thought about your son. You didn’t know how on earth you were going to explain to him why his dad wasn’t going to pick him up or take him to the game.
But at the same time there was a sickening amount of pleasure that bubbled beneath the surface at the thought of Russell breaking Lance’s nose.
“Are you okay?” Russell asks turning to look at you. There’s anger still simmering beneath the surface. You’d never seen him angry in all the time he’d stayed with you. All you’d seen was the funny, easy going, guy with the gorgeous smile, but to see him like this and especially to see him angry over what had just happened…
Just when I thought he couldn’t get any more attractive.
“Yeah. I’m sorry-“
“Don’t apologize for that asshole. He shouldn’t have talked to you like that.” Russell hesitates. “Does he always talk to you like that?”
“Pretty much.”
“Damn, should have knocked a few teeth out too. He’s got to learn how to speak to a lady, especially one as beautiful as you.”
You felt your cheeks flush. You couldn’t remember the last time that someone called you beautiful and before you can stop yourself you say:
“I don’t think you’re too bad looking yourself.”
“Oh I know. You couldn’t keep your hands off me last night.” Russell’s grin makes you smile and roll your eyes at him.
Again you’re struck by how charming he is and how kind. He didn’t have to do any of the things he’d done today, but he did anyway. He didn’t have to make breakfast for your children, he didn’t have to step in when your ex-husband got mouthy, and he didn’t have to punch Lance in the face, but Russell had.
He'd done more for you in the past few hours than your husband had done in the six years you'd been married to him.
Behind where Russell's standing, Colter’s truck pulls up to idle on the curb in the same place that the BMW had been sitting moments ago, and you raise a hand in a half-wave to greet him. Colter shoots you a grin and waves back.
“Guess my ride’s here.” Russell says glancing back at his brother over his shoulder before he looks back at you.
“Seems so.” You nod. “Are you sure you don’t want me to check your stitches for you one more time before you go? I mean you probably ripped them when you punched Lance."
“Sounds like you just want to catch another peak of me without my shirt on.” Russell laughs, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Shut up.” You roll your eyes and hit him on the arm.
“Ow.”
“You’ll survive.”
“Maybe.” He’s studying you again, the sunlight turning his hair a honeyed brown and his eyes into a sharp jade. The light catches his broad shoulders and traces along his strong jaw that is covered in a healthy amount of stubble that makes him look rugged and more handsome than any man you’d ever met.
You bite the inside of your cheek. “It was nice to meet you Russell. And again, I'm sorry that you got shot."
Russell shrugs. “It was worth it. I got to meet you and I got to punch that asshole in the face so win-win.”
“You didn’t have to-“
“Yes, I did.” Russell’s jaw tightens. “You didn’t deserve any of the things he was saying about you or about the kids.”
“True.” You hesitate.
Should I ask him for his number or is that too forward?
“I’ll see you around.” Russell smiles at you one more time before making his way to his brother’s car, just as Emma joins you on the front step.
“Did daddy leave?” She sounds sad.
“Yeah. He did.” You take her small hand in yours.
“But why does Russell have to go too?” She whines.
“Because he’s going home.”
You felt a twinge in your chest watching him get into the car, knowing that you probably would never see him ever again. It made you sad to know that. You'd been interested in him and you thought he was interested in you, but he hadn't asked for your number.
Maybe he's flirty and charming with everyone.
You hide the frown that comes with that thought. Emma waves goodbye with her freehand, and Russell smiles from the passenger seat, waving back at your daughter, before he raises his gaze to yours again and winks.
Or maybe not.
When you go back inside the house, Luke is still upstairs, and instead of going up to tell him about his father, you turn to go back into your kitchen to clean up. As you near the stove, you notice a bright green piece of paper under one of the magnets on your refrigerator, fluttering slightly in the air-conditioning.
You pull it down to look.
In case you want some more pancakes or if you bake any more of those life changing cupcakes. Give me a call. -Russell.
His phone number was written under his name, next to a smiley face that made you laugh aloud to yourself.
Sunday nights were the worst, but not this time.
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A/N: Alright, I had so much fun with this one! I just had this urge to write Russell with a reader who had children and a trash man ex because why not? And I know I said it would be a one-shot… but my mind is already thinking of all the possibilities lol. Mostly because we all know I can’t really write just a one-shot 😅😂
As always thank you so much for reading! Reblogs, Likes, and Comments are not required but are always appreciated. I love hearing what y’all think!
Taglist:
@roseblue373 @livya99 @mrsjenniferwinchester
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ghostiidasponk · 15 days ago
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"LET'S GET SPLATTIN!!!!"
A TWST x SPLATOON FAN EVENT
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Summer is around the corner, the sun attacks NRC hard, and what better way too cool down than a turf war?! What? Crowley didn't approve of this? well, that surprise in his desk drawer will be sure to change his mind!
Come on now and join the annual NRC Summer Splatooza! A test of wits, dominance, strategy, and bragging rights!
Inspired by the lively and passionate spirit of DJ OCTAVIO students of NRC will pick a theme, and duke it out with a battle of the fresh!
and the theme isss....
DREAMS VS. DUTY
SO RALLY UP, CONTESTANTS!
Are you a dreamer, guided by passion, imagination, and the pursuit of what could be? 🌙✨ Or do you stand for duty, grounded in responsibility, honor, and doing what must be done? 🛡️⚔️ In this ultimate clash of ideals, it's time to show where your ink truly lies. Will you fight for your wildest dreams, or defend the values that keep the world together? The battlefield is your canvas—choose your side and let your spirit splat!
STAY FRESH!
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RULES~!
No pro-shipping
No AI art
Anyone can participate!
No deadline!
tag me plspls! #NRCSUMMERSPLATOOZA
feel free to ask questions!
Only one team per character!
OUTFITS!
Any Japanese streetwear or Splatoon inspired outfits!
DREAMS MUST USE CYAN/GREEN FOR ATLEAST ACCESSORIES
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DUTY MUST USE PINK FOR ATLEAST ACCESSORIES
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DESIGN THE MOST RANDOM ASS WEAPONS YOU CAN! like Splatoon style- you can turn an entire laundromat into a canon or something and slap a magic gem on it, go crazy, go creative! SUCH IS THE SPIRIT OF STAYING FRESH~!
design example (NOT OFFICIAL!)
(DO NOT USE AS PALETTE REFERENCE)
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ATTACH BADGE ANYWHERE!
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CARD BACKGROUND!
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TEAM DREAMS
TEAM DUTY
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daycourtofficial · 1 year ago
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One single thread of gold tied me to you
Pairing: Eris x Rhysand's sister!reader | WC: 6.2k | Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, piv, foodplay (chocolate), oral (f and m receiving)
Summary: After a century of waiting, Eris and his mate finally have a few days to themselves to accept the mating bond.
Author's note: this is technically part of my gingerfucker series but it can be read as a standalone. Big thanks to @basketoffish for help with plotting the idea for it and for helping me edit ❤️ The people have been frothing and yearning for this and who am I deny such want any longer?
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Eris never had good timing. Born too soon, bearing the brunt of his father’s cruelties. Born into a war he was too young to fight in, but too old to stay at home. 
All of his poor timing was worth it for this perfect opportunity. Beron would be away for three days and three nights to improve relations with Tarquin, the newest High Lord of the Summer Court. Beron went alone - he perceived it as much more intimidating to go alone (perhaps inspired by Tamlin’s appearance in the High Lord’s meeting a few years ago, winnowing in completely unaccompanied). Beron failed to recognize Tamlin’s appearance was much bolder - he knew he would face scrutiny, but still made an appearance without anyone at his side. Beron merely did it because he wanted to look more intimidating.
Nonetheless, Eris was able to send word to you with enough time for you to rearrange your royal appearances to carve out this time with him - an entire three day span, just the two of you. Three days felt like a lifetime when the two of you were only able to schedule hour-long secret meetings.
Once, in a desperate bid just to have your scent on him, you two had met for a total of twenty minutes.
Your rendezvous were often short, full of imminent risk and danger of being caught. Today felt like a blessing from the Mother, as if she were granting her star crossed lovers a vacation, a peek into what life could be like - what life will be like one day.
You two just had to be patient.
Even an entire court away, Beron would know someone from the Night Court was on his land. Perhaps not immediately, but he would know before your three days were over. So the two of you met in the Winter Court, in a cabin you were gifted a long, long time ago. A cabin you’ve gone to on occasion over the years, whenever you needed to get away and be alone. You had set the trap perfectly for your family - you were getting into petty squabbles the entire week, picking fights with Cassian and Mor left and right that left the two of them reeling with annoyance.
Your brother tired of it quite quickly, clocking it for what he thought it was. 
“Perhaps you should spend a weekend away, star.”
His tone was full of concern, for this was how you always were before retreating to your hidden cabin. Irritable, crabby, unable to have decent conversation with anyone without leading them into a spiral of anger.
“I’m fine,” you reply, intentionally clipping the words to make yourself seem in a much worse state than you were. “Besides, I have some scheduled meetings this weekend.”
Rhys nods, “Feyre has agreed to take over any duties you have that can’t be rescheduled.”
You perked up at that, feeling a little bad at the generosity of his mate. You hadn’t felt easy about this plan - preying upon your family to get what you wanted wasn’t a regular occurrence for you. 
But you refused to let any negative feelings about what you were doing get in the way of seeing your mate.
“Are you sure, Rhys?”
He waves a hand, “Go, please only return once you feel rested and headache-free. Cassian is quite adept at giving migraines.”
You smile, “so no one will bother me?”
He sighs at your continued questioning, “no, star. I think we’d be too afraid to bother you, except for Amren. And she’s in Summer for who knows how long.”
He stands up, crossing the room to you, his long legs practically gliding across the floor. He wraps you in his arms, squeezing you tightly before kissing you on the top of your head. He gently sways the two of you as you wrap your arms around him.
“Thanks, Rhys.”
He lays his head on top of your own, “just send word if you’ll be gone longer than a week. I just want to know you’re alive out there.”
This cabin was a frequent rendezvous point for the two of you, much cozier than the large clearings and forests you two otherwise frequent. The cabin was more ideal, however Eris couldn’t deny how incredible it felt to be inside of you as he leaned you up against various trees in the forest, the leaves crunching beneath his boots as he thrusted over and over into you.
His cock twitched at the thought as he walked towards the front door of the cabin. The door groaned slightly as he entered, marking his entrance. He felt the slight magical barrier ripple as he passed the threshold. He shut the door behind him, taking in the small, two bedroom cabin before him. 
The place was quaint and cozy, an insult he would use to describe Rhysand’s absurdly large and ornate homes, but for you it was a testament to how infectious the comfort you radiated was.
It permeated every surface - the walls, covered in various portraits and landscape paintings, along with shelves of books and trinkets.
His scent was stale from the last time he was here, but yours was fresh, as was the smell of some delicious meats and fresh breads. He closed his eyes and leaned his back against the door, catching a glimpse of you as you pittered about the kitchen. He crossed his arms over his chest, allowing himself a moment to think of what his life could be like if the two of you were ordinary fae. 
He would come home from whatever job he had, perhaps a scholar of some kind, leaving at the same time every day to come home to his mate. 
You two would clean your house together, bickering over your inability in any universe to put dirty socks in the hamper, and how in every universe feet would continue to make Eris shudder in disgust. In any other life, he would be thrilled to experience monotony with you.
But he’s not in another life, one of openness and free-flowing adoration, one free of constant plotting and scheming, earning favors wherever he can. He’s in this one - the reality where no one knows about the two of you, because once they do it will become an inter-court political nightmare. It is a life of stolen glances, hidden messages, and secret meetings under the moonlight, but it is a life that belongs to him, when for so long his life was not his own.
Eris would love you in all lives, your soul reaching to him in every iteration and reincarnation of the two of you. If the two of you were nothing but bacteria living on the same organism’s skin, he would find you. He would know it was you, no matter what shade of organism you wore.
The bond hums in your chest, tugging you to look towards the door where you know Eris is standing and watching. You continue the task at hand, not wanting anything to miss your notice. The bond deep inside of you grows more and more insistent, screaming at you to smell him, taste him, feel him, here, here, here. He’s here, in your house, and you need to look, look, look. 
You let Eris come to you, just as you always had, just as you always will. You’re slicing bread, placing the pieces in the bottom of the bowls when the smell of petrichor and caramel hits your nose, a warm presence at your back. 
“Good evening, my fox.” 
His face burrows into your neck at the nickname, melting into everything that was you. His arms wrapped around you, hands meeting yours. His fingers pull the knife from your grip, gently placing it down on the cutting board.
“What are you doing, my evening star?” His voice is purposefully low in your ear, causing goosebumps to trail down your neck, his hands warming your fingers. 
“I’ll give you three guesses.”
His soft chuckle warms your chest, the bond constricting around your heart at his amusement.
“Are you cooking?”
“Yes, Er.”
“I’m surprised your wraiths didn’t prepare anything for you.”
“They did,” you hum, turning in his arms, his amber eyes meeting yours, not quite certain of what they’re seeing.
His hands meet your hips, his touch warm on your skin, and you circle your arms around his neck, fingers raking through his hair at the root.
He hums at your touch, his face swooping down to kiss your forehead. 
You look up at him under your eyelashes, his nose and cheeks littered with freckles, mapping out where home was. You point your head in the direction of two large picnic baskets, one of which was opened for Eris to see various jars of jams and breads.
“Why would you-” his words fall short, his thoughts racing through his mind. They stream by in words and bits of phrases, but no completed thoughts make their way through the whirl and swirl of mate, food, and bond.
He short circuits, not quite grasping what you’re getting at.
“I have never gotten to cook for you,” you shrug nonchalantly.
His eye twitches, still not understanding.
“You’re cooking… for me?” His words come out slow and uncertain, as if the mere concept of someone choosing to do something like this was absolutely foreign to him. You nod slowly, not used to seeing Eris so incapable of understanding. 
“But if you-“
“Yes.”
“Then we’ll-“ 
“Yes.”
“Are you-“
“Yes.”
He stills, his thumb lightly brushing against your hip. Your eyes are open and bright, wanting to convey to him the certainty you felt. You lightly tug on the bond connecting the two of you and he rubs his chest at the feeling.
It’s quiet as the snow falls outside, unaware of the monumental decision you had decided on once Eris’s letter had arrived earlier in the week. You had spent the past few months researching traditional autumn foods, preparing for this day. You had known for quite a while you were going to accept the bond, you just didn’t know when the two of you would have the chance to spend more than a few fleeting hours together. You had sent a silent prayer of thanks to the Mother when you received Eris’s letter, soft prayers echoing through your mind each night ensuring this would all work. 
“Is everything ready?”
His eyes peer into yours, a vulnerability he rarely lets anyone see, even you. His words come out soft and slightly timid, as if he’s worried he’ll scare you off.
“Yes, we just have to bring the food to the table.”
“May I help?” He doesn’t move towards the food, but one of his hands twitches, moving imperceptibly closer to you.
“I would appreciate that.”
It’s quiet as you two move to the food, grabbing platters and bowls to bring to the table. Once the table is full, a three course meal laid out in front of the two of you, the reality set in a bit. It wasn’t that you didn’t love Eris, but you were slightly concerned you were forcing his hand with this. 
This was always ‘someday’, but now it was here and you didn’t know how he truly felt about it. That was until he grabbed your plate, placing the still warm pita in front of you. You placed a piece of pita on his own plate, and he looked at the baba ganoush before him, its texture so unlike anything he had seen in Autumn. “What do I do?”
You ripped a piece of your pita off, dipping it into the bowl, grabbing some of the baba ganoush on it before offering it to him. He inspects the piece, before doing the same with his own piece of pita, bringing the piece to your mouth. 
“Eat. This might be the last time we’re rational enough for food.”
The two of you bite down on the pita, the warmth of the bread with the chill of the baba ganoush, the smoky, rich flavor exploding in your mouths. The room immediately shifted with the scent of your mixed arousals, but the two of you ignored it. His fingers lingered on your mouth, swiping at your lips before ripping off another piece of pita.
Heat was coursing through your veins, Eris’s emotions thrumming through you at a higher intensity. He felt electric in your veins.
You continue feeding each other until the pita’s gone and your attention shifts to the bouillabaisse. In similar fashion, the two of you poured the soup into the bowls with the bread before setting them down. You were thrumming, every part of you screamed to be closer to him, your thoughts having a background loop of mate, mate, mate.
“How did you know about bouillabaisse?”
Eris’s words send heat through you - his voice, soft and low, the actual words not registering with your insatiable need for him.
“Beg your pardon?”
His smirk is feline as he knows exactly why you didn’t hear him, but he repeats his question with no teasing.
“I um, found it a few months ago - I was in Dawn and a little restaurant served it.”
You could feel the sweat on your brow as you watched Eris’s fingers bring another spoonful to his mouth. You thought about all the things he could do with those fingers, that mouth, that tongue-
“Nobody in Dawn serves this. It is a regional dish, more specifically it is only found on the seaside of Autumn.”
Busted. 
You take another bite of the soup, the flavors so different from Night Court cuisine, but you weren’t complaining. Several of the fish in the soup were only found along the coast of Autumn and Winter, some making it as far north as Dawn.
“I may have perused some Autumn Court restaurants when I was visiting once.”
Eris stretches out the fingers of his hand, moving his long fingers in torturous preparation before placing his hand on your thigh. His touch was so warm, you began pulling at the collar of your dress to let the heat escape, biting your lip to keep the moan from escaping.
“When were you allowed in Autumn?”
“Fine,” your voice came out sharp, the room much too hot for an interrogation, “I snuck into Autumn a few months ago trying to find something to make you for this. I tried a bouillabaisse at this incredible little restaurant and I paid them an exorbitant amount of gold to teach me how to make it and to not tell anyone I was there. I slipped back in yesterday to pick up the fish in this soup.”
His fingers dance about on your thigh, and you take a quick glance down at his pants, your body growing warmer at his cock pressing across his pants, desperate to be released. You can’t move your eyes away from it - knowing how it looked, how it felt in your mouth, how it tasted - you were about to start drooling before Eris’s hand came up and closed your jaw.
“Strip.”
Eris’s words were a demand, full of power and need.
“But we still have dess-“
Your words died on your tongue as Eris began unbuttoning his shirt, your eyes caught on his lean chest, littered with freckles. You were in need, too, practically salivating at your mate’s display of his body, and you can’t quite remember why you wanted him to finish the whole meal.
He huffs over to you, his hands grabbing the fabric of your dress, ripping it in half down the middle. You gasp as the cold air meets your skin, somehow making your nipples even harder.
You stare at him wide eyed, even more aroused than before. At this point, you knew your panties were doing very little to keep your arousal from coating your thighs.
“You took too long,” he snarls, undoing the ties of his pants.
You had begun pulling the remnants of your dress off your shoulder, but stopped to watch your mate hook his thumbs into his trousers and pull them down, letting his cock free. 
You move forward, ready to jump on Eris, but his hand on your chest stops you, eliciting a whine from you. His other hand grabs the molten chocolate cake you had made, slowly lifting it out of the ramekin. He holds it delicately in his hand, the other hand on your chest moving up to your hair, tugging gently on the strands to pull you towards him.
Your chests were touching, the warmth of his body seeping into yours. He blazed with heat, his cock hard with need pressed into your stomach. His cheeks are dusted with pink and his blood was boiling inside of him, but he moved ever so slowly, his fingers meeting your chin. He looked into your eyes, the two of you the only beings in the world right now.
“My mate.”
Anything could be happening outside of the walls of this cabin. The snow could have all melted, a heat wave sending the Winter Court into chaos, and you wouldn’t know. All you would know was Eris’s gaze on you, mapping out every inch of your body so he can remember every detail correctly when he thinks about this once you two are apart. His thumb applied pressure on your chin, opening your mouth. He placed the cake in your mouth, whispering, “don’t bite, not yet.”
You moved your hands to his hips, holding onto him. One of his hands moves to help hold the cake up, his other holding onto your neck. He puts the other end of the small cake into his mouth and lightly tugs on the bond. You both bite into it, the liquid chocolate center immediately cascading down and coating both of your chests. You both make quick work of finishing the remainder of the cake, tearing and gnawing at the soft dessert until you finish it off. He catches your lips in a kiss, the taste of the chocolate a luxury on his tongue.
You jump, feet slipping slightly on the bits of chocolate that made it to the floor. Eris’s arms catch underneath your thighs, wrapping your legs around his hips. He lays you down on the table, moving his lips from your mouth, down the column of your throat, down your chest. You’re pulsing with need, desperate to feel any friction from him. You thrust your hips up, desperate to meet any feeling of him against you. His arm moves across your hips, pushing you down against the table. He shakes his head as he keeps kissing down your stomach, lifting his arm for a ring of fire to take its place around your waist.
He skips over where you want him, instead moving his head down to your thigh, licking up towards your hips. His tongue was hot as it slid up your inner thigh, lapping up the chocolate that had dripped down it. Your breathing was ragged as you felt his hot tongue growing closer and closer to you, and it felt like it was getting warmer the further it moved up your thigh. 
You looked down at him, his amber eyes that were full of heat all you can see of his face as his tongue finally slips between your folds. You moan at the contact, throwing your head back and hitting it harshly against the table. The pain didn’t register, not as Eris - your mate - was moving his tongue as if he knew every part of you, as if he knew exactly how you felt as he would warm and cool his tongue at his leisure. He lifted his mouth just an inch, his words slightly muffled by your body.
“You taste of desperation. It’s delicious.”
You moan at his words, and he flicks your clit with his tongue. His hands warm on your thighs, pressing them further apart. He slips his tongue back through your folds, your hands gripping onto his hair to keep his mouth on you. He grabs your legs, hoisting them over his shoulders before one of his hands disappears. You are writhing on the table, his grip on you lighting your skin on fire. The room grows heavier with the scent of his arousal, and you twitch your ears at the new sound in the room.
He was moaning into your pussy, the vibrations coursing through your body as you realized the hand that left you was wrapped around his cock, pumping furiously. The thought of him being so aroused at eating you out that he has to touch himself sends you over the edge, your thighs clenching over his ears as you finish on his tongue. Your breathing was heavy, and Eris’s tongue did not let up, lapping like a starved male. You pulled him up by his hair, bringing your face to his. Your tongue swipes into his mouth, tasting a combination of yourself and chocolate on his mouth. You grab his shoulders, deepening the kiss as you flip him onto his back, pressing him onto the table. His hands grip onto your hips, trying to push you onto him, desperate for any touch from you. He whimpers as you tug his hair, pulling him into you.
You place teasing bites as you move down his torso, leaving mark after mark in a line towards his happy trail. You purposefully rub your breasts against his cock, smiling up at him as he groans, your breath hot on his crotch.
You lick from underneath his shaft, your tongue slowly moving from the base to the tip before putting his cock completely in your mouth. He tasted like cinnamon with a little salt, the chocolate flavor on your tongue making him taste incredible. His hands move, gripping onto your hair as he chants your name - a prayer, a plea, you weren’t sure. Your hands wrapped around the base of his cock and his hips thrusted trying to push himself deeper into your mouth. 
You wanted to tease him about needing to touch himself while his mouth was on you, but you felt the same compulsions as you bobbed your head up and down on his cock. You resist the urge to move your fingers to yourself by digging your nails into Eris’s thighs, leaving half moon indents. His grip grew tighter on your hair, pushing your head down harder as he got closer to finishing, his moans filling the cabin as he finished, the hot taste of cinnamon filling your mouth and coating your throat as you swallow it. You pull your mouth off of him, his cock twitching again at the look you give him as you lick your lips.
He growled and you swiped your tongue up his still hard cock. He lunged for you, jumping off the table before his teeth sink onto your nipple, pulling the skin with his teeth. You gasp, pinching his nipple back in response. 
“Do you think there’s something there about eating to accept the bond and what we just did?”
You waggle your brows at him, but his eyes are a bottomless pit of black. Gone are the amber hues of fallen leaves, replaced by an endless void of hunger. You lean up to kiss him, the taste of both of you swirling between your tongues. You start walking backward, knocking into one of the chairs. He catches you, one arm hooking around your waist. 
His pointer finger moves up from your belly button to your neck, swiping up the chocolate left behind. He puts his finger in your mouth, having you suck the chocolate off. 
“Maybe we should get cleaned up.”
You smiled around his finger, swirling your tongue around it as you looked up at him from under your lashes. You nodded, taking his whole finger into your mouth. He breathes in deeply through his nose, his eyes swirling with desire before you. His other arm loops around your waist, carrying you through the cabin. Your giggles echoed down the hallway as Eris moved the two of you into the bathroom. He doesn’t set you down, shifting instead to hold you up against the wall with one arm while he turns the shower on. 
The water started cascading down the both of you, sweeping the remnants of the chocolate down the drain. Your feet hit the floor as Eris pushes the two of you forward, your back hitting the wall. The water fell over your face, making it hard to see him, but you could feel everything about him. You felt his skin on yours, your chests pushed together. You felt his emotions thrumming inside of you, bouncing everywhere, filling every available space. You had heard of the bond being accepted as an all-consuming thing, but you found any previous descriptions to be wholly inadequate. Every inch of you burned for him, thrumming with need to be near, to have him with you, to have him inside of you. 
He grabs the bar of soap from the shower, lathering it onto a wet washcloth before rubbing it against your body, rubbing the chocolate from both yours and his skin. 
“I never thought accepting the bond would be so messy.”
Eris’s hand guided the wash cloth across your shoulders, your sternum, before taking his time as he rubbed it against your breasts. His thigh slid between your legs, separating them. Lean muscle pressed against your cunt as you sank onto his thigh. His lips were on your mouth as you ground onto his thigh. He tossed aside the washcloth, his hands gripped your hips, harshly moving you against his thigh. 
“My beautiful, beautiful mate.” 
His voice was husky, echoing through the shower, further cementing that feeling he was everywhere.
“Gonna fall apart on my thigh?”
His lips move down your neck, teeth sinking into skin.
“We have all weekend for me to put every part of me to good use.”
You threw your head back, hitting the wall softly. One of Eris’s hands moves behind your head, cushioning the blow. His grip is unforgiving as he continues moving you, his thigh rubbing your clit so perfectly. Eris looked so beautiful before you, his pale skin a soft shade of pink from the heat radiating off of him. 
His irises have shrunk enough for you to see a slither of the amber you love so much. You could feel him thrumming in your chest and you swore if you looked down, the room would be alight with the gold tie between you two. You gripped his shoulders as he pressed his thigh into harder, sending you over the edge. 
You’re reeling from the orgasm, but Eris’s grip doesn’t let up. He uses his other leg to spread your legs again, and his hands move down to your ass, picking you up before sliding his cock into you. It feels right when he’s inside of you, the pounding in your head subsiding, the heat dissipating for just a moment before it was replaced with the need for more, more, more.
Your head moves across the tiled wall as Eris thrusts into you. You grip his hair, pulling his face to you again before kissing his mouth, needing to feel him everywhere. You’re all teeth as you nip and bite across his neck, up his jaw, on his earlobes. The shower does little to hide the whimper he lets out. 
His fingers grab your face, pulling you from his ear to his mouth. He kisses you hard and passionately before pulling out of you and turning you around. Your hands press into the wall as his hands roam down the sides of your body, sending chills throughout you.
One of his hands ran through your hair, wrapping it around his hand, the other wrapping around your waist, holding your back to his chest. The water streamed down the two of you, but you hardly noticed as he kissed your neck, pushing you against the wall.
You moan, pushing your ass against his cock. He growls as one of his hands traces from your hip down to your upper inner thigh, gripping tightly.
He bit your shoulder blade, pushing deeper inside of you. The pressure inside of you kept building, the water streaming across your skin growing hotter. Your blood was boiling, you weren’t sure where you stopped and Eris began. His thrusts became harder and more erratic, his fingers gripping so tightly you were sure they’d bruise. 
Eirs held you in an iron grip as he came inside of you, his release causing you to finish again. Arms braced against the wall as you panted heavily, Eris softly pulled himself out of you. His hands rubbed down your arms, and you stood up straighter, albeit on shaky legs. His eyes were roaming your body, looking over all the marks leftover from your tryst. The two of you were no strangers to rougher sex - most of the time you two were only able to satiate each other against a tree for mother’s sake. The tiles were no concern to you, but you knew Eris felt something deeper within him, guilt perhaps at how little control he had and the marks a reminder of that. Having a bond was new, but accepting the bond was utter chaos. A thousand emotions rattled through you, unsure of who they truly belonged to the most dominant ones were to protect and to fuck.
Eris slipped his arm out of the shower, his head going with it. You took the moment to gaze down at his ass, the little freckles scattered across it gave you the urge to bite the plump flesh. He came back in fully with a washcloth, and your gaze softened. You reach out, grabbing his wrist to stop him.
“Er, I don’t care, we’ll probably be going at it again in twenty minutes.”
Despite your protests, he broke free of the loose grip you had on him. He brought the cloth up under the water, letting it get properly drenched. 
“I know.” 
He moved the washcloth down between your legs, his touch impossibly gentle compared with the male who was gripping your hips hard enough to bruise moments ago.
“We’ve just never gotten to have this part before.”
You think back to all the times you two have met - in the woods, in secure cabins, in closets to find that he was right. Every moment alone the two of you had counted, and neither of you were ever able to linger for long after sex. 
Another thing the secrecy cost the both of you.
He looked to you, asking silent permission, and you nod. He moved the washcloth, cleaning the remnants of himself off of you. He rinsed the washcloth again before moving it across your skin - your stomach, your shoulders, your arms. He lingered, taking the time to clean every inch of you. He laughed, pointing out you still had some chocolate behind your ear. Once he finished, he reached to turn off the shower, but your hand stopped his. 
His eyes are assessing as you slowly grab the washcloth from him, your own eyes reflecting his previous question. He nods, and you start your own work of cleaning him. Your eyes trail his body, taking in how vulnerable he is in this moment. You hummed softly, the tune of some song you can’t recall the name of. The sound makes some of the emotions inside of you die down a bit, replaced by a calmer feeling. Eris tips his head down as you wipe at his back, the scars there almost mirrors of your own.
The cloth moves down him, but you stop to kiss a few of the scars on his upper back. Once you’re done, you drop the washcloth on the floor, wrapping your arms around his torso. Eris’s hand reaches out, shutting off the shower, but not making any indication he wants to move. 
Eris’s love sitting inside of you felt different to the love you felt for him - synonyms, perhaps. But not quite the same.
After several minutes, you grabbed some towels from the cabinets, offering one to Eris. He slings it around his hips lazily, lifting you into his arms. You had barely wrapped yourself in the towel before he scooped you up.
The two of you land on the bed, decadent in shades of blue across the massive sea of blankets and pillows. The only reminder that neither of you were in your home courts. Eris taps your chest, the reminder you felt about having to leave him leaking over to his side of the bond.
You two settle on the pillows, discarding your towels to lay beneath the large duvet. You climbed on top of him, settling on his chest. His cock grew hard again, and you moved so you could settle with him inside of you. 
You traced your fingers over his freckles, connecting them with your finger. “I can make constellations out of them,” you tell him. 
The roar has subsided enough for you to feel like a person again rather than a beast. You know it’ll come back, in minutes or seconds you weren’t sure, but you wanted to spend whatever time with him like this that you could.
Eris thrusts softly inside of you, watching your eyes look for patterns in the freckles across his cheeks.
“Perhaps you can make me a constellation that will always lead me to you.”
You chuckle, leaning forward to kiss him softly. Your mate. You feel the pit inside of you start to roar, but you swallow it down, opting instead to search inside of yourself, finding that golden thread tethering you to him, and pulling.
“It appears I already have.”
He flips the two of you, laying you on your back as he slowly puts himself inside of you again. He fills you up completely, reaching the base of his cock before stopping and just staying there. 
“Mm, Eris.”
He smiles, his arms landing on each side of your face, caging you in. He moves a few strands of hair out of your face, his thumb stroking your cheek.
He smiles down at you, his freckles dancing across his face, the sunlight illuminating his hair to look as if it were made of flame.
His fingers tangle in your hair, lightly holding on. 
“You are everything to me.” 
His voice comes out soft and slightly shaky, as if the admission were almost painful. He began thrusting slowly, but this felt different. Anyone who had ever thought Eris Vanserra incapable of being soft should see him now.
“I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.”
His thrusts became faster with each word, but not harsher. 
“I will always take care of you.”
Your fingers grip his shoulders, your thumb softly rubbing the skin.
“And I you.”
You were reaching that peak again, but this time it felt different. It wasn’t feral, the need to satiate the physicality of the bond, but rather to remind yourself that you two were bound together, forever.
“I love you, mate.”
His words have you seeing stars, and you practically feel yourself leave your body, but you hear yourself say, “and I love you,” as Eris finishes inside of you.
He collapses on you, his cock still inside of you. You both are breathing heavily, unable to get enough air into your lungs. He collapses on top of you, his arms digging beneath you to wrap you in an embrace. 
No touch was enough, even as you wrapped your own arms around him, peppering kisses into the side of his head. The two of you lay there, eventually Eris peaks his head out from your neck to watch the snow fall outside the window. You think about the many lives you could lead with Eris Vanserra - how much simpler your lives could be if you were born of different circumstances. 
But those Erises wouldn’t be the one laying on top of you now. They wouldn’t have as sharp of a tongue as he does, or perhaps their noses wouldn’t slant the same way his does. You could lead a thousand lifetimes with a thousand Erises, each one different from the next. Your thumb grazes his cheek, deciding that easy was never meant for you. It was never meant for Eris, either.
In those thousand lifetimes, the only edge they have on this one is the ability for you two to be more free about your love. 
You wouldn’t have to return to your respective homes, glamouring the scent of your mating bond from those around you in a bid to mitigate the unwanted comments from those around either of you. Beron would be excited, an intercourt mating would come with tremendous benefits for him. Rhysand would be pissed, your entire family shocked at the secret, unable to bite their tongues from disrespecting your mate with the twisted truths.
Secrets can only last for so long. They all get spoken at some point, and one day everyone will know how you have been carrying Eris’s love for years, how it has carried you for much longer than you thought, and how it will still carry you wherever you need to go.
Even when it’s in the opposite direction of him.
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