#((i'll admit; my great fear is that there IS a copy out there...))

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

At this question, Dorian let out a little laugh as he flashed Emily a charming smile, saying laxly, "Oh, don't you worry about that, my dear friend-if there's one thing I can say I've inherited from my parents (and can feel proud about), it's the ability to multitask in even the smallest windows of time!"

Last-minute party plans? Juggling them with planning the wedding of the century? No problem: The Gracey's had a number of contacts that could and would drop everything in order to put together a quick little shindig that would appear as if it had been planned down to the most minute detail. Caterers, decorators, musicians, entertainers, all of them would jump to the Gracey's aid, in order to make their party the most magnificent and memorable, as well as never let on to the guests that it was more or less a last-minute idea.

Still, as lavish as it would no doubt be, it would also be no doubt very stuffy, very boring-in some ways, it'd be less about celebrating the happy couple and more about keeping up appearances to the neighbors, but that was nothing new to Dorian-he too felt it could still be a last hurrah before their departure, a celebration within a celebration, right under his family's noses!

And who better to invite to such an occasion than his very bestest friend...

[yansimstorythatiwillnotworkon]

Kokona Haruka

Name: Kokona Haruka

Gender: Female

Class: 1-1

Club: Drama

Persona: Social Butterfly

Reputation:

Overall: +33

Liked: +50

Respected: +50

Feared: 0

Crush: Riku Soma

Strength: Weak

(Despite what I claimed before, this is awfully long.)

__

I'll spoil it now. Out of all of the other characters that I may or may not kill, Kokona Haruka is NOT one of them. I won't go into detail, but she has been someone very close to my heart since I first learned of YanSim.

Onto the important stuff, though. I think Kokona is a character that is the number one best character in Yandere Simulator. I'm content with her being just some NPC as of now, but only because I feel like any other editing to her character could mess it up.

Since she was a beta rival, she has a pretty decent life, decent lore, and decent relationships with her peers. I even think that she could make a great main character of a YanSim story that was meant to be more horrific than just violence.

I don't think much of Kokona needs to be explained since I'm just adding more specific bits to her already explained lore somewhere in YanSim's history. Some of these specifics are:

Kokona's personality, which is social and friendly, but still a bit anxious and nervous around people she doesn't know well. This is likely due to her father being the same way because he only ever interacted with whoever the loan sharks sent to collect the money. (Maybe, I admit I don't know much about how interactions like these work.)

Kokona's history, which consists of her mother divorcing her father. This led him to take several loans and, in turn, fall into debt. In middle school, she started doing jobs and favors for money, but a little closer to the end of her time in middle school, she ended up dating several of her classmates for money, amongst other (non-sexual 🙏) things. As of high school, she's started going on dates with whoever would pay, which has helped a little bit for her father's debt.

And finally, Kokona's relationships. This being with Riku, Saki, Kizana, Musume, and likely Kashiko as well (due to her wanting to ruin Riku and Kokona's relationship specifically). Kokona and Saki have been friends since middle school, and it was back then that Saki learned of her secret. Since she was her best friend, she's since been updated on every decision Kokona makes, and sometimes follows after Kokona to make sure nothing happens. Sometimes, she helps her by doing similar acts to Kokona.

Riku had a big crush on Kokona to begin with due to simply liking her appearance. After joining her club, he learned more about her and came to love her personality as well. After learning her type, he specifically wore his hair the way she'd like as well as with glasses in order to win her over. After he confessed, he didn't keep this up, but he does still insist on doing so on dates with her. Kokona hasn't formally accepted his confession due to feeling guilty about what she does without him knowing, but she does still allow Riku to confidently say that they're dating.

Kizana has always been such a superstar in Kokona's eyes. She was popular, talented and confident, everything that Kokona wanted to be. So, (unlike Tokuko) she started following in her footsteps, like copying her body language when she's around her and trying her best to be confident in front of her, even if she's shot down. Kokona is a sweetheart, and whole-heartedly believes that no one acts a certain way for no reason, so she personally excuses any irritation Kizana holds towards her. (The similar hair is on Kizana, Kokona loves drilled pigtails since middle school.)

Musume always obsesses over people she believed or knew had a dark secret. (Think- Horuda; Knows- Kokona.) And Kashiko has simply hopped on that train due to loving to ruin relationships. She believes that since Riku and Kokona are so sweet together, it'll be even better when she screws up their relationship.

(I apologize for this length. I even said I was going to keep anyone outside of the main characters and rivals short.)

[rising-volteccers]

Hello, I hope you're having a wonderful day so far! If you're taking prompts, "maybe come on, take a deep breath. it’s gonna be alright" for Friede, Orla, and Mollie?

Yes hi I live! Apologies for this taking a while! I hope it'll be an enjoyable read still! :D

Series: Pokemon Horizons

Characters: Friede, Orla, Mollie

Warning: Brief description of a character experiencing a panic attack

--

Within a cabin on the Brave Asagi, a lone figure paced around.

Friede concluded that today well and truly sucked. They received a painful reminder of the dangers that came with their chosen route. One thing led to another and now, Cap was in bad condition within the infirmary.

Mollie had more or less pushed him out so she could have some peace in treating him. Murdock found him pacing outside so he invited him to the kitchen, giving him some sort of warm sweet drink his frazzled mind couldn't discern. A large hand settled on his shoulder.

"I'll take over steering from Ludlow. How about you go and get yourself some rest, okay?"

That was half an hour ago. Friede did as he was told because he lacked the attention to properly steer the ship right now. When left to his own thoughts, his bad habit of overthinking came rearing its ugly head.

Distantly, Friede felt short of his breath. His heart beat faster, and he couldn't help but lean against the wall with one hand on his chest. A part of his mind recognized the symptoms of a panic attack and that he had to breathe but his mind kept whirling back to the image of Cap laying limp on the ground, looking so still that Friede feared the worst almost immediately.

Friede didn't register the sound of whining just outside his door. A few minutes later, the door to his cabin opened to reveal a worried looking Orla.

"Friede!" She was quick to close the distance between them. Orla guided him back to his bed and made him sit before she knelt in front of him. Gently grabbing hold of his hands, she gently guided one of it to rest on her chest.

"Come on, take a deep breath. It's going to be alright. Try and follow my breathing, okay?"

Orla exaggerated her breathing so it was easier for Friede to follow. It appeared to be working as Friede copied her, slowly easing down that he could take in somewhat proper breaths.

"Alright, that's good," Orla spoke, smiling gently. "Would you like to tell me what happened?"

"'m sorry. 's just--'m fault Cap's like--" he began to gasp again.

"Come on Friede, you were doing great," Orla soothed. She looked around the cabin. "Alright Friede this is what we're going to do. I want you to tell me five things you can see. Can you do that for me?"

Through swimming vision, he tried to comply. Yellow eyes scanned the room. Five things. Five things he could see.

"Lamp. My jacket." He couldn't recall just when he took it off, only that it laid on the floor now.

"Good. What else can you see? Three more to go."

"A picture frame. My Rotom Phone. My goggles."

"You're doing good Friede." Orla smiled kindly at him. "Alright, now four things you can listen to."

With a soft, shaky breath, he closed his in eyes to concentrate.

"My breathing. The rotors. Wingull flying outside? Mm... can't--can't tell for certain but I think it's Rockruff's scampering footsteps outside."

"Good, good. Rockruff was the one who got me, you know. Such a good boy." Friede could hear the smile in her voice too now. "Tell me three things you can feel."

"My bed. My pants. Your hand on my knee."

He felt the gentle squeeze that Orla gave. "Tell me two things you can smell."

Friede took in a deep breath, finding it easier to fill his achy lungs without breathing through his mouth. A couple of scents brought forth images in his clearer mind.

"The cologne that I wore this morning and motor oil."

"Sorry, I didn't have time to change from a spill earlier," Orla admitted before quickly adding, "Now, tell me what you can taste."

"The hot cocoa Murdock made earlier. I just drank it because it was handed to me and it was warm but I couldn't really taste it because..."

"Now Friede, do you trust us?" Orla interjected before his thoughts could spiral again.

Having closed his eyes for a few minutes now, they flew open at the absurdity of the question. "Yes, with my life."

"Do you trust Mollie's skills? Murdock at the helm? Ludlow keeping the young ones calm? Me being here with you?"

A single nod.

"Then take heart that we're all doing what we can to make sure that Cap would make it out alright. It's alright for you to feel scared. He's your partner. It's never a good feeling to worry about their wellbeing."

By then, Orla had migrated from to the side of his bed, sitting next to him. She gently wrapped an arm around Friede's shoulders so he could rest his head on her shoulder. He became surprisingly pliant in her hold. Perhaps he no longer felt the need to put up a brave front, or exhaustion finally crept up on him.

"Right. I... I trust all of you. 'm sorry," he murmured.

"Nothing to apologize for. I'm just happy that you're feeling better now." A pause. "You are feeling better now, right?"

Friede nodded. Only then did Orla allowed herself to relax, quietly relieved that her friend wasn't panicking anymore. She gave him another light squeeze.

"Good. Just continue to trust us with Cap's wellbeing. I'm sure we'll be getting good news soon."

As if the universe itself responded to her statement, a gentle knock from the door startled the pair inside. Friede didn't pull away from Orla's hold when Mollie peeked her head in.

Mollie briefly took in the scene before her. Friede in only his shirt and pants, hair disarray and looking wrecked. Orla in oil stained clothes with her arm wrapped around Friede's shoulders. Something happened here but she'll get her answers later. Right now, she came here bearing news.

"I just want you to know that Cap's stabilized. We just need to get him to a proper Centre and he should heal up just fine."

Friede just about sagged from pure relief in Orla's hold. She had to bear the sudden increase in weight but she sported a wide smile.

"What did I say? Cap's going to be alright."

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks Orla." That last bit was whispered for only her ears to pick up on.

The young captain gently pulled away from her loose hug at last. He looked at Mollie with barely concealed want in his eyes. "Can I go see him?"

By then, Mollie had properly stepped inside, leaning against the wall with her arms lightly crossed. "So long as you promise to keep quiet. Cap still needs plenty of rest before we arrive."

"Promise!" While it lacked his usual zeal, Friede mimed a zipping motion across his mouth.

"Alright, go see him."

The two ladies watched the way Friede just about barreled out of the cabin, hearing a hastily thrown out apology to Rockruff who'd been waiting outside.

As his footsteps faded away, Mollie turned to Orla. "I'm guessing he got too into his head again?"

"Mmhmm. Just about worked himself into an attack." Orla got up from the bed to stretch lightly before joining Mollie in exiting the room. "Thankfully, I was able to help calm him down using that method you taught me."

"Having him list down things based on his senses?" A faint smile formed on Mollie's lips. "Good to know. Thanks for helping him out with that, Orla."

"It was no problem at all. I should be thanking you for taking good care of Cap in the meantime."

Instead of replying, Mollie held out her hand, still sporting that faint smile. Orla returned it with a wide one of her own. The two ladies performed their signature handshake. The Rising Volt Tacklers looked out for one another after all.

[sludgewolf]

Hi, not sure if you’re still doing headcanon requests, but if you are, whumpee!Eridan Ampora headcanons?

So, this one created a life of its own and developed into a full oneshot of Eri facing the consequences of his actions. From what I understood it was just Eridan suffering and not an x reader

But I'll admit it wasn't my favorite thing to write so I might not do more like this in the future

Warnings: mentions of lusus hunting,Eridan is tortured, depriving of food, water and sleep, broken bones, scale pulling, kidnapping

DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT

Disclaimer: do not copy, repost, take or feed to AI or NFTs anything I post

Masterlist

Whumpee Eridan Ampora - The Consequences of my Actions

Eridan's life sure was great, being the heiress' moirail certainly has its perks, he's able to spend time with such a sweet and kind troll like Fef and on top of that he's practically untouchable by any troll he might’ve, definitely did, wrong. But it also has its costs, that being, the blood he spares from her own hands, by killing other trolls lusi everyday to feed her owns insatiable appetite

Not that he minds it all that much, after a while it became routine, it's just what's expected from the descendant of the infamous Orphaner Dualscar, so the young troll justifies himself on it by claiming to having to keep the legacy alive by doing the same.

And do it he does, with the childish dream of one day surpassing his ancestor's legacy and becoming a legend himself

Thinking back on it, it was only a matter of time until he crossed one too many wrong people and it all came back to blow up in this face.

It was morning, Eridan was sure of it because of the burning bright light coming from between the wooden boards nailed to the windows of this strange small room he just woke up in

His think pan throbbed from what he assumed to be a blunt hit to the the head, the wire tying Eridan's wrists together painfully cuts between his exo reaching down to his flesh making him almost not want to move in fear of injuring himself even further, despite that he takes a deep breath and forces himself to, moving both arms in unison Eridan his elbow to help himself sit up, he hisses in pain feeling the wire move further into his soft royal flesh, but he doesn't allow himself to stop until he can hold himself up without the aid of his arms.

Eridan finds himself in a small concrete the room, with small boarded up broken windows and with random boxes piled up in the furthermost corner of the room, the air was still, not helping with the overwhelming heat the sun brought into it. But thankfully it also brought the humidity caracteristic of the days in alternia, giving Eridan something in such a dire situation

Trying to take things out of his sylladex proves to be futile, having him realize it has been taken from him while he was out cold, forcing the sea-dweller to look for other ways to get out of there

After some more struggling Eridan manages to get up and starts searching the room for anything he could use to cut himself free, which turns out to be futile, all the boxes he could reach were taped shut and his binds kept him from moving them around to search the rest

Defeated, Eridan slumps against the dirty wall furthest from the door and waits for whoever kidnapped him to show themself

The moons slowly rise up on the sky, his skin dries with the lack of humidity brought by the cold night. And soon enough noises can be heard from the other side of the door, this could be his chance, if he can just bolt out before those idiots can make up what happened he could make it back home tonight

Eridan moves quick, jumping to his feet and making a dash to the door, only to have the air knocked out of his lungs and having him flying back down the basement.

As he hits the ground Eridan feels the wire cut into his wrists and finally snap after painfully lodging into his flesh, the smell of his royal blood hangs in the air, before Eridan can even catch his breath he fells his feet leave the ground, his scarf tightening around his neck

A hot breath fans over his face, Eridan opens his eyes to glowing olive ones glaring daggers at him, their owner, a huge ruffian who was clearly the muscle of the team "GoinG soMewhere?" the older troll mocks him tightening the grip on Eridan's scarf

"Aww the little prince thOught he cOuld get Away frOm us using such A pAthetic And cheAp trick?" the tall scrawny looking one butts in laughing

Eridan is presented to Scrawny then shaken as if he was a plushie "twerp Must think he suddenly can get away frOM everything just because he filled a quad with the heiress" Ruffian jokes

They boom with laughter before just cutting themselves off and tossing Eridan back into the basement as if he was nothing

Scrawny then leisurely makes her way over to where he bounced off to, crouches besides him and lifts him by the hair to look at her "OOh, but yOu cOuld never be mOre mistAken yOur mAjesty. yOu're nOthing mOre thAn a puny little fish that messed with the wrOng peOple"

The sea dweller, reminded of his inherited position above them, swats her hand off as if it was dirt "howw dare you low bloods treat me this wway, wwhat do you think gives you this right?" he turns to them trying to appear bigger and braver than he is

All of that to just be laughed at, Ruffian approach him slowly, stalking him with a predatory gaze waiting for the smallest movent on his part to pounce

Eridan opens his mouth still trying to keep his composure, but before he even has the chance of saying anything Ruffian once again lifts him by the scarf almost chocking the sea dweller then they kneel him right in the stomach forcing bile up his food shoot down to the floor where he was thrown to once again

"what gives us the right? after what yOu've done yOu still asks us that?" they growl

______________________________________________________________

This is the second night of peace Fef had in many perigees, suspiciously too peaceful, her moirail wasn't the best of all but if he was something it was clingy

It felt off when he hasnt pestered her in so long, Feferi tried brushing it off to him working on another horrible plan against land dwellers but as the hours dragged on and night became day with no signs of her moirail Fef knew something was wrong and she couldn't stay idle anymore

She didnt even try calling Eridan knowing it'd be futile, quickly shooting a message to one of the few trolls that she knew could help

Sollux answers her suspiciously as they rarely ever talked, once she explains herself about the lack of her ass of a moirail by her side Sol almost blocked her saying that she was better off without the dead weight

It took much coercing but eventually she convinced Sollux to track Eridan's palmhusk in exchange for buying him anything he asks on her trust fund

______________________________________________________________

Three nights, that's how long the little Ampora has been trapped in the clutches of these vengeful trolls, maybe it really was a bad idea for him to go around killing lusi so openly

Even if it was a dignified, crucial job in favor of troll kind and those lowbloods should've felt honored that their lusi were even chosen for such noble sacrifice. Although at this point Eridan wasnt even sure if it really was all that

Three nights of being beaten by these teenager trolls that kept him captive, three days that they deprived him of food and water, only giving him enough to survive and three days of Eridan questioning if he could hold out any longer

The little violetblood's whole body ached in pain, his body painted black and blue from the bruises that littered across his thin exo, two of his ribs were probably broken making it difficult to do much more than lay on the ground struggling to take a breath for his gills dried up and closed shut from the lack of humidity, his scales flaking off painfully leaving holes across his body stinging from being dragged across the cold concrete floor of this basement

With not much to do eridan tries to conserve his energy by sleeping as much as they allowed him, which isn't much as he's woken up by one of said rests by Scrawny grabbing and dragging him across the dirty and stained floor by his horn, bending his neck in an odd angle, making it feel like the horn will just pop out from the weight of his body

The young troll grabs at his kidnapper's wrist in pain, Scrawny doesnt even spare him a glance before throwing him at Ruffian's feet, who laughs at the pitiful sight of the sea-dweller

His cheeks sunken in, eye bags so dark from sleep deprivation that it could be seen through his exoskeleton, his spine bent weirdly due to his aching ribs still pulsating in pain alongside his heartbeat, skin bone dry with pale grey scales flaking off

The ruffian smirks at the little prince, grabbing his face and forcing Eridan to look at him. a chill runs up Eri's spine as the ruffian's smile stretches wider "aye, hand Me those pliers" they ask Scrawny

Blood slides down the little violet's cheek, the dry air only serving to make it sting even more, Eridan's body shakes as he uses everything he has left to not cry, they already took everything from him but this satisfaction is something he'll not give to them

Just as his will is faltering and he feels like he can't hold it in anymore they all hear a loud clanking sound coming from the house

Scrawny immediately gets up from her spot next to the ruffian and her partner shortly follows her up the stairs leaving the young troll on the floor next to the pliers and all the scales they ripped off in this little game

Not even a tick after they leave through the basement door they're flung back in by a powerful energy blast

Eridan can only look up in surprise from where he's laying his muscles aching as he pushes himself up from the floor, locking eyes w the person he wanted to see the most

In comes Feferi, rushing to him without even sparing a glance to the older trolls, just like a ray of light cutting into the depths of murky waters she looked like an angel coming to save him from these monsters that tormented him for so long, following closely behind her comes Sollux, making Eridan crash right back to reality.

Sollux upon seeing Scrawny trying to get up nonchalantly uses his psyonics to fling a can at her head, sounding a sharp 'ding' and she's out cold on the ground, Ruffian growls at Sol and lunges at them in a failed attempt to avenge their partner. The young psyonic is not impressed, holding them in the air stopping his attack even before he could start.

Feferi holds Eridan's cheeks and makes him avert his gaze from the goldblood who's handing the kidnappers asses to them with practically no effort at all. despite his state Eridan feels a twinge of jeaousy creep up on him, on why fef went to that mutant cluster fuck, was it because Sol was just so much stronger than - " )(oly carp, )(ere drink! " Fef interrupts Eridan's jealousy spiral by practically shoving a water bottle in his face making Eridan finally have some water after so long, the scene besides them melting away as the little prince allows himself to relax and be taken care of by his moirail, he could deal with the nerdy lowblood on a later date. Once he's done Fef helps him to his feet promissing to take him back to his hive to rest, she picks him up bridal style carrying him out of the kidnappers hive

If you liked this pls reblog and comment so I know to write more like it

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

___

172. The Delicious Death by Kayla Cottingham--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

THIS DELICIOUS DEATH fell more prominently into my TBR list because of a friend who read it and made it look like a really good and bloody time. She wasn't wrong!

I was so surprised by this one (mainly because I took a bite out of it without reading the synopsis first), so I was thoroughly entertained. I didn't know how normalized the horrors of this book were, so that was a unique and fun reveal. I think it was such a good exploration of how the world treats people that don't fit into the "typical" human category. The fear and the exclusionary actions of some of the characters were very on the nose when we think about today's society.

I enjoyed the twists and turns and how these girls fought to save each other and others like them. They didn't depend on men to help them--they were total bad asses. They were just a little hungrier than most badasses, and you know what? That's perfectly fine.

I also find it strangely timely (for when I read it) that these catastrophic events take place during a huge musical festival when the events of Burning Man were happening. It was an interesting and totally coincidental line up of events.

Also, love, LOVE the romance in this and how diverse it was. And the flashbacks, although sometimes a pet peeve for me, really helped me understand why some of the characters were the way they were.

Finally, this book really made me think of GIRLS SAVE THE WORLD IN THIS ONE by Ash Parsons. If you enjoy this one as much as I did, I think you'll enjoy that one!

___

173. Stiff by Mary Roach--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I was really excited to read this one because I've heard really good things about Mary Roach. And while I DID enjoy this for the most part, it got to a certain point where I kind of just wanted it to end.

The first half was really interesting. It was morbid, but I've never been too squeamish when it comes to the topic. We are all temporarily in these bodies and when we leave, our bodies are left behind. So, learning what we can learn from those bodies and how they're treated was fascinating. There was humour thrown in there to break up the dark tension and I really appreciated it. There was also a lot of historical research about grave digging and how certain practices have been adopted over the years.

But then the second half started and I just...I'll admit, my attention started to turn away from Roach's words and my interest started to wane. Just goes to show that even though these topics have always made me wish I had more aptitude for the sciences, my attention would never linger long enough to fulfill such fanciful futures LOL.

Anyway, this was good overall--even with that latter half (for me). I think this is a great Autumn read. You get to learn some neat stuff and get the sometimes creepy forthrightness of science.

___

174. Fall of Ruin & Wrath by Jennifer L. Armentrout--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I received a copy of this book from the publisher because I interviewed the author for Indigo on Instagram. This did not affect my review in any way.

I usually read books like this one as audiobooks because my attention strays so much now that I'm older. So, I was a little wary because I had to read this by a deadline AND I had to read the physical copy. I was so happy to see how easily the story pulled me in and how addicted I was to the story.

I loved the main character and her energy--it gave me huge flashbacks to when I read Armentrout's books in the past and how addicted I was to them. There's just something always so compelling and addicting about her writing. I especially loved how the MC spoke her mind and was honest with herself about what she wanted and needed to survive.

When the love interest came in, I was even more hooked. I LOVED the sexual tension and how he was so unapologetically himself. Listen, I have acknowledged that what would normally be red flags in real life are very green flags (sometimes) in books like this one because, sigh. This love interest can get it.

There were other pretty cool things about this book, like how we learn about why the world is the way it is and the power of the natural world around the characters. I also felt like the story, even though it's mainly set in one place, was so compellingly written that it didn't need too much complication settings-wise.

My one complaint is the over-use of the ellipsis punctuation. The story was great, but some pages had at least two instances of...the character...talking...like...this...or describing...describing something...something like this. For me, it ruined the flow of writing and even if the scene happening was a serious or emotionally-charged one, I was taken right out and found myself giggling at yet another ellipsis.

My biggest way of recommending this book for reluctant readers is that it very much gave me SJM vibes, so if you're a fan of her fantasy romance books, then you might like this. I had a lot of fun and the spicy moments were very, very fun.

___

175. The Stranger by K.A. Applegate--⭐️⭐️⭐️

While I found this instalment to be one of my least favourites, I DO see the importance of it.

THE STRANGER is a perfect example of how these are just kids who are fighting a nearly impossible war. They are given the opportunity to either stop what they're doing, or keep going and honestly, what do you think you'd do if given that opportunity?

As the story progresses and the stakes rise, we are constantly being reminded that these are kids.

I'm still incredibly excited to keep seeing where this series takes me. The books are short, but they pack some pretty great messages.

___

176. Go Down Hard by Ali Seay--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

My friends have read and loved this book and I can completely see why.

This book was so much fun. I know that this is horror, but I was so entertained by the one-liners and the comedic timing. Also, what are the chances of a woman serial killer moving in next door to a men who is also a serial killer?

I also loved how he eventually showcases why she is the way she is and that despite all the stoicism and the mask some people wear, people like him are all the same in the end. The cat and mouse game between the two characters really emphasized this point and made it even more entertaining to me, as a woman.

I highly recommend this one for those who want to read horror novellas, but are wary of gory horror. Yes, there is murder, but the social commentary and icky factor of this man makes this book more than worthy enough for the horror category!

Also, not to mention how ADDICTING this book was. I had to put the book down because I had to get up early the next day. So worth the sleepless night, though.

Never have I rooted for a serial killer before. Oop.

___

177. Landbridge by Y-Dang Troeung--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was one of the more creative memoirs I've had the pleasure of reading. The text was full of photography and was cut into, as the title describes, fragments. It was incredibly readable and I enjoyed learning more about the heartbreaking history of Cambodia, and the reality of life as an immigrant in Canada in the '80s.

I think, however, that my absolute favourite part of this text (as heartbreaking as it is) were the letters Troeung wrote for her son. They were moments and thoughts captured in time that he can one day look back on whenever he thinks of his mother. While the rest of the text had really important experiences and histories retold, even personal experiences, it was these snippets that capture my heart.

The author's story is heartbreaking and that dedication at the end broke me, especially knowing just how important those letters will now be to her son.

I highly recommend "Landbridge" for anyone who enjoys reading immigrant memoirs and for those who want to open their world up a little more. Not only does this explore the grief one might experience over a country your family had to leave, but you will be a part of the living grief the author shared with the reader in the letters for her son. Gorgeous and heart shattering.

___

178. The Murders of Molly Southbourne by Tade Thompson--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I LOVED this one. The writing, off the bat, was incredibly compelling and addicting. It felt beautiful and full of so many things I wanted to highlight. The story idea is so unique and had some genuinely terrifying moments.

What would you do if your blood was enough to create clones of you almost instantly--murderous clones that hated you?

There were searing moments of sadness where I grieved with the mc, and moments where I laughed until tears came to my eyes because she's so socially awkward.

This being a novella also made this a super quick and addicting read.

Immediately ordered the next two books and will hopefully read them soon!

___

179. Dead to the World by Charlaine Harris--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Re-read in September 2023-

Oh Eric, the things that happen to you. I was a little wary going back into this one because I vaguely remembered what happened with Eric, but I was happily surprised and thoroughly entertained. For once, Sookie got to have a hot girl summer moment with the vampire. Screw Bill.

We get to meet a character in this one who will also change Sookie's life forever and I'm exciting to re-explore that world with her. This is where the story starts to truly get more and more fun!

Also, I was hella looking forward to that conclusion. Iykyk.

___

Have you read any of these books? Let me know your thoughts!

___

Happy reading!

[slashingdisneypasta]

(May I join T or D game? 🦊)

1) I'll eat the whole thing in one bite and risk a brainfreeze! Then I'll look him straight in the eyes as I snap the stick in half! Hopefully he'll get the message...

2) If I brought a boy home then he must be a very good friend! I wouldn't bring just anyone home! I'll find someone else for Jenn (seems like a good way to get rid of some creep/douche/sleezebag lol)

3) Bubba better sit his ass down and go nowhere near that thing! I'll handle the feeding!

4) Are noise conceling headphones an opinion?! Or playing music on speakers so loud I don't hear my own thoughts?! If not, I'll shut him up myself! He'll feel the rage of an s*x-repulsed asexual who didn't get a good night sleep in weeks! I will put a fear of God into him (even if he's not religious)! *Angry tired ace noises*

5) I'm pretty small and skinny so I could probably slip between Jason and Michael with them barely noticing me! Or I'm sure Jason would be polite enough to step aside for a second if I ask nicely, his mother did raised him right after all! There's no point in asking Michael, he'll either just continue to stare or even attempt to stab me, so no thank you!

6) Call me crazy but BJ! I'm not familiar enough with Drayton. Besides, my special talent is being able to ignore someone completaly no matter what they do! He'll be wondering if he's invisible again 😈

7) *runs into the kitchen at lighting speed, grabs the snacks and runs out*

8) I'll do my best to try calm Carrie down! I'm pretty sure she's more scared then I am! Such powers can be overwhelming and it's not her fault if she still sometimes can't control them! (If I fail, I'd like INK and Aurelio Voltaire to play at my funeral)

9) (I picked the Slasher before I saw the list) So now Jason is fighting Pennywise! Damn!! I wonder how that would end?!

10) There's absolutely NO WAY I'm getting any help from Freddy! I'll admit what I did to Pam! It was a honest mistake and hopefully she'll understand. Ofc I'll clean all the mess and pay to fix/replace if anything is broken

11) I'll choose truth! I'm super honest (sometimes too much) and don't mind any question they throw at me!

12) I like Jerry's style more, so I'll pick him! He better not mess it up though, or Elijah will be hearing about it!

13) The Clown does not scare me at all! I think the idea is hillarious and choose opinion B *evil laughter* I have camera ready 🎥 ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ

You can always join, Fox Anon!! Hey! ^^

Omggggggg, I love your answers so so much XDD

Omg, I think he's got it!!! XDDD

You make a VERY good point... And they're going to a better place anyway XDD Jen's stomach.

You're so brave!! But yes lets protect the Bubba XD

Get him, Fox anon!! I've got your back. From way back here, far far away from Patrick... I've got your back... but I've got it!!

Y'all have so much faith in the manners of a man who's forte is just flingin' people out of his damn way

6. Oh!! You took that class too?? XD Haha. Omg XD I love the little devil emoji you put at the end, too, so funny XDD

7. XDDDDDDDD Zoom

8. I've got you.

9. Oooh, I dunno- but I hope Jason wins!

10. Good news! That was a test- and you passed. Pamela likes you and you may befriend Jason XD ^^

11. Hey, at least people know where they stand with you! I love honest people!

Hmmmmm, here's your truth from Billy and Stu: If you had the choice to leave this universe and jump into the A Nightmare On Elm Street universe... and you got to be a dream demon with all that power, as well... but you had to spend your eternity with Freddy- would you go?

12. Oooh, do you mean the original version?? He does have good style. The red scarf?? Perfect accessorization XD Which Chucky then copied.

OOF, Jerry better do his best then!

13. Ohhhhhhhhhhh this one made me cackle XDD Freddy's is going to DIE, man!!

Thank you for playing and sharing your answers!! They're great!! XD

[fabelyn]

Lore: Explaining the motivation behind the reveal in the last part of the Five Kaisen quest. Aka, why "Kurounishi" did it

Placed underneath a read more due to spoilers and size

So, we find out in the event that Scaramouche was behind the decline of the Sword Arts. But not why. Or why he spared Kazuha's grandfather. Well, if you piece together certain parts of lore from Inazuma, you can find out, I'll sum it up here:

Source for the below: Husk of Opulent Dreams set, Aged Notes found in Tatarasuna. Katsuragikiri claymore description, Yae comments to us in the Archon quest.

So Scaramouche is a doll created by Raiden Shogun, who she felt pity on so set free. When he was set free he had no goals and so wondered around Inazuma. At one point he reached Tatarasuna, whereupon he made a friend among one of the swordsmiths, even did a beautiful sword dance with him etc. But the leading swordsmith, upon finding out his connection to the Shogun, locked him up (likely feared he was there to spy on them). His friend felt bad and went against orders to free him, and even suggested to beware in the future of revealing his connections to the Shogun so easily.

Because Tatarasuna was suffering during this time, Scaramouche went off to ask for help for the people at the shrine, and its implied he met with Yae Miko.

Regardless, after he left, the head swordsmith was enraged and murdered Scaramouche's friend for freeing him.

Scaramouche chose violence. He began to enact vengeance by ruining all the main five swordsmith families. Doing so in secrecy so no one knew it was a person, just assuming decline from the families.

But then he reaches the Kaedehara family. He recognizes Kazuha's great grandfather, and it's revealed the grandfather is not Kaedehara by blood, but adopted after his own father disappeared.

It's likely that Niwa was the clan from Scaramouche's friend. And so he stopped his vengeance because it would require killing the family of his friend.

He tried looking for the Note that would reveal all this while he was in Inazuma, failed, and ran off with the gnosis. Ayato, aware of his search, waited for news that he left do search as well and upon finding the Note... well, you know the rest.

********

********

Appendix: in case this helps, I'll paste below the most relevant parts of my sources. reading everything is always best, but I'm putting below only the parts that are specifically relevant to what I wrote in my summary:

Rather Aged Notes:

Rather Aged Notes #2

"...Also, Sir Katsuragi discovered a nameless eccentric while patrolling around Nazuchi Beach..."

Rather Aged Notes #4

"...and we could not find that eccentric...The Inspector flew into a rage and slashed Katsuragi. The great blade cut deep into the flesh...cast his own nagamaki into the furnace's flame...Nozomu could not abide by that order, and drew the completely melted weapon out of the furnace... He was horribly burned..."

Rather Aged Notes #5

"...Nozomu died that night. I daresay that while Sir Katsuragi may have committed malfeasance, it was out of the goodness of his heart..."

Rather Aged Notes #6

"...I also remain unwilling to forget the joy of creating the Daitatara Nagamasa with him, and that joy of watching that nameless eccentric perform that sword-dance with Katsuragi..."

Rather Aged Notes #7

"I wish that the Inspector will someday find it in his heart to remember the joy he felt when forging a weapon with his own hands, before Sir Katsuragi..."

Husk of Opulent Dreams (the whole set is all about Scaramouche, I will only be copying the parts pertaining the story I wrote above)

Calabash of Awakening

Amenoma, Futsu, Isshin, Hyakume, Senju.

These were, once upon a time, the five branches of the Raiden Gokaden,

But today, only Amenoma still maintains its line of succession.

While the Isshin line can just barely be said to have extant descendants.

In the eyes of the people, this is just the natural result of the ravages of time.

They never once suspected that such sudden falls from grace might have some hidden mystery behind them.

The wanderer would never admit to this.

He would never admit that he had done this as an act of revenge against the bladesmith.

Nor would he ever mention the truth

Item Plume of Luxury

The long-wandering eccentric no longer thinks about this,

But when he closes his eyes, he can still see the moonlit nights over Tatarasuna and the burning furnace flames.

The kind young deputy said:

"This gold ornament is a proof of identity granted by the Almighty Shogun,"

"But as you travel the world, please bear this in mind,"

"Never to reveal your identity to others."

The upright Inspector said:

"This gold ornament may be a proof of identity granted by the Almighty Shogun,"

"But you are neither man nor mechanism,"

"And so I can only deal with you in this fashion. Do not hold this against me!"

The wanderer who has left yesterday in the dust no longer thinks about it,

But when he covers his ears, he can still hear the wild winds that roared that year.

A pair of expectant eyes said:

"This gold ornament is a proof of identity granted by the Almighty Shogun,"

"It must surely be able to save the people."

The intelligent, lovely shrine maiden said:

"This gold ornament is a proof of identity granted by the Almighty Shogun,"

"And she will not abandon you."

"As for me, I shall do my best to send for help immediately..."

...But in the end, the golden arrow-feather were covered in dust,

And all tales were incinerated in karmic flames till nothing remained.

Katsuragikiri Nagamasa

When his yoriki Katsuragi was connected with but a single trace of misconduct, he had him executed without mercy.

Ever since then, the name of the sword and his title were changed forever.

[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

Your mind is so great how do you come up with these scenarios?

Aw thank you anon!

As for how I come up with them... I basically just daydream a lot so I'm often running through lots of little scenarios in my head or trying to come up with new ideas for them ^^;; In fact I'm not sure whether I should be admitting to this so easily but a lot of my Shin fics have started out as some sort of overly indulgent self-insert fantasy that I've then developed and in doing so have swapped out myself for the reader character.

I'll also say a big source of inspiration for me personally is just other media and I don't mean deliberately copying plots or anything but more finding things I like or things that interest me enough to spark a "what if?" moment.

The best recent example I can give you for this is my Demon Lord Carla drabble which was inspired by Misyr from Café Enchante. Misyr is nothing like I wrote Demon Lord Carla, but he did get me thinking about fantasy demon lords and I thought, hey, wouldn’t it be fun to make Carla a classic fantasy demon lord but one who was like, actually terrifying, and thus Demon Lord Carla was born (and as I was writing that, I started asking questions about what Shin's role in that sort of world would be and how I could get him to interact with a reader character and the demon Shin fic I'm currently working on also came into being).

If anyone's looking for advice on coming up with ideas, honestly the best advice I can give is to consume other media (fantasy works best for me but just make sure it’s something you enjoy) and pick out little points or ideas that interest and think about why they interest you, what you liked about how the original text handled them and what you didn’t like so much and wish had been done differently. 

With fanfiction, you can literally then just dive straight in and write things how you wish they’d gone. If you’re looking to develop your own AUs or original stories, then think about how else you could explore those themes, how you could mix and combine them into something that looks almost entirely different from the original.

Once you have an idea, even if it’s just a single really vivid scene (which is often my starting point), you can choose to write that in isolation, post it to your blog and let your readers come to their own conclusions about what happens after. Or, if you’re interested in developing a proper plot, you can built the rest of your story around it by asking questions. What had to happen to the characters to get to this point? What extra information do I need about the world and the plot to make this make sense? What do I think the characters will do after this scene and why?

I think one of the best philosophies I've ever heard when it comes to writing (but it applies to all art really) is that nothing is ever truly creative. That probably sounds quite negative but basically it's the idea that whatever ideas our brains come up with are going to end up as some reconstituted version of things we’ve already seen and experienced through some form or another. 

Now what that means is that yes, you’ll have ideas that other people have already done some sort of variation of, but because the sum of your own experiences is entirely unique to you, you’ll be able to draw from it and write something that only you could. Even if the themes and ideas themselves aren’t entirely new, it might be something that other people really engage with and are able to enjoy.

I fear that I’ve ended up rambling a bit, but hopefully this is at least slightly useful to someone. 

Thank you again anon, I hope you have a lovely day!

[y0itsbri]

gallavich week 2021 - day 7 - meet ugly

thank you to @ianandmickeygallavich for the inspo // @gallavichthings

Prompt: Ian and Mickey are neighbors in an apartment complex. They haven’t ever interacted, but one day they get stuck the elevator. One of them doesn’t like confined spaces but doesn’t share this so the other one assumes he is freaking out for no reason.

Words: 3.5k

--

"I'm going out tonight, dickbreath!" Mandy announced, popping her head out of the bathroom. She was wearing a short sequined dress, fitted tightly to her body and only halfway zipped up so it slipped part way down her shoulders.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't!" Mickey called from his recliner in the living room with an Old Style in hand. Work has been absolutely kicking his ass this week and he wanted nothing more than a chill night in.

"Oh, c'mon, now that's no fun. You don't do anything," she accused.

"That's not true!" Mickey grumbled, remote in hand and flicking past some news channels onto some good shit -- finally. Rerun of Jurassic Park.

"What're your plans for the evening then, hot shot?" Mandy teased as she applied yet another layer of mascara on her already blackened eyelashes, "Dinosaur movies all night?"

"Might go to the corner store for some smokes."

"Please get something to eat while you're at it. We have like nothing in here." She waltzed to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door and grimaced. He could admit that a grocery run was, in fact, long overdue.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Serious, Mick." Mandy gave him the look. The Look being the same Look that his mother used to give him when he was being a little shit.

Fine. "Got it. I'll eat something." She smiled at that.

"Thank youuu," Mandy dragged the word out as she leaned over to kiss his forehead.

"Gross."

"Ditto. Zip me up?"

--

Mandy had headed out awhile ago -- long enough ago that Mickey was now halfway through his second 'dinosaur movie.' He should really visit his dinosaur guy again soon, he's probably got some cool new shit. Mickey sighed and got up, idling over to the kitchen.

He downed a full glass of water and opened the fridge. Yeah, unless he wanted to eat a pickle with ketchup and beer, he needed to go out. He debated ordering in, but he needed to go to the corner store anyways. Two birds one stone kind of situation.

Mickey threw on his favorite pair of sweatpants and his Davie Bowie tee shirt with the sleeves cut off. It was a good shirt. Mickey thought Bowie was hot -- fuckin' alien-looking, but hot, nonetheless.

Mickey shoved his wallet and phone in his pockets and locked up his apartment. Maybe Ernie would have the good roast beef sandwiches today.

His thoughts about dinner plans subsided as he noticed the guy waiting for the elevator.

Mickey had seen the ginger around. He was hard to miss -- fuckin' tall, always going out for runs early in the morning in short shorts and coming back all sweaty, always had a million fucking people coming and going from his apartment. They lived on opposite ends of the hall, but Mickey had never actually spoken to him before.

Mandy had given her brother lots of shit for acting so goddamn unapproachable and that's why he has no friends. Mickey didn't want to be friends with everyone, but he wouldn't mind spending some time with the hot red-head down the hall... eventually.

But he was waiting for the elevator with him right now. He couldn't bring himself to make eye contact in fear that it would lead to small talk which would then lead Mickey to inevitably embarrass himself. He couldn't blow his shot. Mandy did the small talk, not him. He took out his phone and scrolled through Instagram even though none of the photos were loading.

He hardly looked up when the elevator arrived and he stepped into it, leaving plenty of space between the two of them. Maybe it was an unreasonable amount of space, but it still wasn't enough for Mickey. He could still smell the guy's cologne. And it was infuriatingly attractive.

"Ground floor?" The man's voice practically sent heat down Mickey's spine. This was going to be a long ride.

"Uh, yeah." Nice, Mick. Not embarrassing at all.

"Great." It hung in the air, a tinge of awkwardness to it.

Out of the corner of his eye Mickey could see the the man leaning against the elevator wall, crossing his ankles as he not-so-subtly stared Mickey's direction.

Mickey was running out of things to check on the his phone and he was about to give in and finally make eye contact when he felt a shift. Then an ungodly clanging of metal. And a stop.

Fuck.

He glanced up at the dial. Sure enough they were stopped between floors, and not at all near the ground.

"The fuck?"

"What?" The red-head locked confused eyes with Mickey's.

"We're stopped. Why the fuck are we stopped?"

"Hm," The guy poked around at the open doors button and nothing happened. "I don't know."

All hopes of positive small talk was out the window as Mickey went into full panic mode. He did not like small, confined spaces -- which happened to be exactly what his current predicament entailed.

"You open the doors!" Mickey practically shrieked.

"Why me!?" The attractive guy spit back.

"You work out and shit -- do I look like I could pry those fuckers apart?"

"Well..." The red-head took a moment to size up Mickey's smaller form. "Yes, you do actually- but these doors are heavy as fuck. We don't have like super strength."

"Fuck you."

"Uh, fuck me!?"

"Yeah, fuck you. Not even tryin' and now we're both going to fuckin' die in here. Any last words, Red?"

He rolled his eyes. "We're not going to die. Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?"

"Don't you think you're being a little too calm considering we're stuck?"

"Oh. You're freaking out."

"No shit I'm freaking out, Sherlock." Mickey ran his hands down his face. This was not fucking happening to him right now.

"Hey, take deep breaths."

"Can't. Gonna die." Mickey gasped.

"Well, if you can't breathe, you're definitely going to pass out."

Mickey shot him panicked eyes.

"Hey, hey it's okay. Just look at me."

Mickey could do that.

"Copy me. In-" He inhaled, chest expanding.

"Out-" Mickey felt his breath on his face. In any circumstance, a stranger breathing on him would warrant a punch in the gut, but now it was more grounding than anything else. They repeated that motion a few times.

"Good. See, you can breath."

"What are you? A fuckin' doctor?" Mickey huffed a laugh in disbelief.

"Been to enough," he chuckled.

"Huh?"

"Never mind. But, uh- look, see, I'll hit the emergency button and someone will come get us soon. It'll be okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm positive. Got stuck in one of these with my sister when I was little, kinda scary at first but we were out in practically no time. She sang to me to pass the time, but I take it you don't want me to sing to you?"

That earned a full-bellied laugh from Mickey, "Not yet."

The man grinned goofily like a golden retriever.

They were silent for a moment.

"So, uh, what's your name?" The red-head asked, gazing curiously at Mickey.

Mickey just stared back at him.

"Your name?" He repeated gently.

"Mickey."

"Mickey," He said it so soft like a prayer. "I like it. I'm Ian."

He had no idea what he expected, but it wasn't Ian. Ian was fitting, though. Ian was good.

--

Ian had hit the emergency button a few times for good measure while Mickey had tried to call Mandy to no success. They settled onto the floor, leaning against opposite walls, feet nearly colliding in the center. Neither made a move to completely avoid that.

After Mickey had calmed down a bit, they fell into bouts of comfortable conversation and comfortable silence.

"I thought you just hated me." Ian mumbled after a bit.

"What I hate is being trapped here." Mickey stared at the walls threatening to enclose around them. He closed his eyes so he didn't start to panic again.

"Even before this."

"Oh?" That was news to Mickey. That was never his intent.

"Yeah, I always see you around, but you never seem to see me." Ian looked to the ground when he said it.

"I've seen ya plenty. You're the dork with the short ass shorts."

Ian smirked, "I guess I am."

"Hard to miss, man."

"You too. I've wanted to say hi for like months, but you always looked like you were ready to snap me in half or something. I kinda like my limbs in tact."

Mickey swiped his thumb against his nose and sniffed, embarrassed, "Sister says I scare everyone away. Used to be a good thing."

"Sister... wait, wait, wait, hold up. You're Mandy's brother, aren't you?"

"You know Mandy? Oh god, you're not banging her, are you?" That would throw a wrench in his plans.

"Oh god, no!" Ian threw his hands up in a mock surrender like that was the most repulsive thing he's ever heard.

"Something wrong with my sister?" Mickey grew defensive. She may be a lot to handle at times, but she was still his sister.

"No, no, she's great! 'm just not into... well, uh- I'm- let's just say that if you had a brother, maybe I'd be banging him." He grimaced.

Watching Ian stumble over his words after being so confident about everything else was a bit amusing.

"Oh -- cool." Mickey wasn't used to such obvious disclosures about sexuality with strangers.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Mickey avoided all eye contact.

"So?"

Ian paused until Mickey was able to look at him again.

"So, what?"

"Do you have any brothers?" A playful flicker in Ian's eyes made it obvious that he was just being a little shit now.

"You're an idiot."

"Maybe so, but that doesn't answer my question still."

"Yeah, I have brothers, but they'd uh- let's just say definitely not be into that."

"And you're... not not into that?"

Mickey rolled his eyes. His lack of denial was basically a confession and they both knew it.

Ian smirked and knocked the toes of their shoes together.

--

Help announced itself to be coming soon over the tiny intercom embedded in the elevator. Sometime shortly after that, Ian had made his way over to the wall next to Mickey's, rather than across.

"Where were you going tonight?" Ian asked, turning to fully face Mickey.

"Nowhere." Nowhere interesting at least.

"Really? So you just take an elevator down to nowhere?"

"Alright, smart ass, I needed to get dinner. Gonna be a late dinner now that's for sure, fuckin' starving."

"Shit."

"What about you? Got a hot date or something?" Mickey eyed him up and down. Ian's outfit wasn't fancy by any means, but he still looked damn good in it.

"Oh, I wish," he winked, "Just going on a walk to clear my head. But this is working just as well."

"Good for you, man. My head is fuller than ever."

"What're you thinking about?" Ian's heavy breath practically bounced off his face. His gaze flickered to Ian's pouting lips. This was ridiculous.

Kissing you. Kissing you. Kissing you. "Nothing."

"Riiiight." Ian's eyes mimicked the same trail that Mickey's had just followed.

"Yup."

Ian scooted closer to Mickey and he swore his heart was beating so loud that even Ian could hear it. If he could, he made no indication. Instead, he eyed Mickey's hand resting on the floor. Gently, careful not to spook him, he caressed Mickey's fingers, nearing his tattooed knuckles.

Mickey fought the urge to yank his hand away. No one ever touched him so delicately, so sweetly. He figured that Ian would have guessed that, seeing his crude tattoos, but he wasn't acting like this was strange. So Mickey let him.

"Fuckin' hate them." Mickey murmured, watching Ian's fingertips tracing over the back of his hand.

Ian frowned.

"The tattoos."

"They're you. I'm sure they have a story."

"Wish I could forget it."

"If it makes you feel any better, I have a pair of tits on my shoulder."

"Ex-fucking-cuse me?!" Mickey pictured literal tits growing out of the man's back.

"Here, look," Ian turned, pulling his shirt up, revealing an insanely toned and insanely freckled back. Surely he was not about to be flashed in an elevator. But sure enough, tattooed on his shoulder was a pair of double-D's.

"Shit! Dude, what the fuck is up with that?" Mickey laughed.

Yeah, this made him feel better. At least he didn't have fucking titties tattooed on his knuckles, though he was sure someone in his family must have something like that. They're fucking idiots like that. Like Ian, apparently. But Ian was good.

"It was supposed to be my mom." Ian winced, pulling his shirt back down to cover it again.

"Mom must've been a banger." Mickey joked, still hardly containing his laughter.

"Ugh," Ian groaned dramatically. "Never gonna live that one down."

He threw his hands back on the ground, near Mickey's but not touching this time.

Experimentally and slowly, so slowly, Mickey hooked his fingers with Ian's and rubbed his thumb against Ian's hand. It was calloused, but so soft. It was a movement so gentle he hardly recognized himself, completely contradictory to the message literally written across his hands.

He was practically holding hands with a man in an elevator. Oh, if dear dad could see him now.

Moving out of his hell house with Mandy had been a good step, but it had taken Mickey years to unlearn his self-hate, allow himself to be. He still wasn't perfect, and he still felt years behind. But with Ian, it felt normal. It felt right and warm.

Right then, he felt the elevator shift again. He tightened his grip on Ian's hand. Ian returned the hold. If he was going to die, at least he wasn't going to die alone.

Mickey realized that they weren't falling down, but rather moving upwards.

They released their hands and leapt up to their feet as the door dinged open, revealing a small staff of maintenance personnel, not looking at all concerned that two men had just been trapped inside for an unspecified amount of time.

"Fuckin' finally!" Mickey ran out. He resisted the urge to drop to the floor and kiss the ground. He was dramatic, but he wasn't that dramatic.

Ian thanked the maintenance people then hurried along beside Mickey. They weren't on their floor, but they sure as hell weren't about to take the elevator again after all that.

"Hey, Mickey, wanna come back to my place? I think I still have some leftover lasagna if you're still hungry."

Mickey checked the time. Yeah, Ernie's place was definitely closed by now. Plus he really did just want to go back to Ian's. He glanced up to see Ian in almost full puppy-dog eyes. The dork was needlessly persuasive, he'd give him that.

"Yeah, sure. I could eat." He grinned like an idiot.

Ian nodded his head towards the stairwell, holding the door open for Mickey, who obediently followed up the steps.

--

Ian's apartment wasn't too different than Mickey and Mandy's, mirrored and maybe smaller, but it looked oddly inviting and definitely way more lived in -- almost too much décor and family photos hung up around the space.

"Uh, make yourself comfortable," Ian called as he rummaged through the cabinets, grabbing a couple plates to reheat some food for Mickey and himself.

Mickey was no stranger to feigning confidence in unfamiliar locations, but this felt different, more genuine. He actually respected Ian, the man having been kind and patient with him in a less than ideal situation.

He sat himself on the barstool at Ian's countertop and watched him. The gorgeous man who he had been eyeing in secret for months, who had helped him through a small panic attack, who had held his hand and traced his tattoos like they were art. Like Mickey was art.

"So, Bowie, huh?" Ian leaned against the counter, waiting out the timer on the microwave.

"What?"

"Your shirt," he pointed, and Mickey looked down.

"Oh, yeah. He's cool as fuck. Dope music."

"Got great hair, too."

"You would think so."

"Self-love, baby."

"Good for you." But there was no edge in his voice.

Ian smiled. The microwave beeped and they settled in, eating together with nothing but the awkward clanging of silverware and chewing. Mickey was too fucking starving and too fucking tired to care about formalities to give a shit at this point.

"Bet you didn't think you'd spend your night eating lasagna with a David Bowie look-alike, huh?" Ian teased over a mouthful of pasta.

"You wish, man."

"Hey, it's at least a little true."

"Yeah, you're both fuckin' aliens."

"Maybe so, but at least we're hot."

They both smiled around their forks, glancing over at each other a little too frequently with nothing but fondness.

--

Ian collected their plates when they were done, taking them over to the sink to wash them later. Mickey got up and followed him into the center of the kitchen, still sipping on his beer before setting it on the counter to his right.

In a move that shocked Ian, and even himself, Mickey moved into Ian's space and pressed his chest against Ian's back. He wrapped his arms around Ian's waist, feeling up the plains and softness of his stomach, feeling his breath hitch and his heart beat faster. Mickey's warm breath bounced off of Ian's neck and back onto his own face.

Ian sighed and placed his hands over Mickey's again. He leaned his head back onto Mickey's shoulder for a moment before wiggling free from Mickey's grip enough to turn around and face him, carding one of his hands through Mickey's dark hair.

"Mickey." He said it so soft. With so much admiration. Mickey couldn't take it anymore. He leaned up and pulled Ian's head down so they were the same height.

"Fuck, c'mere," he murmured, lips practically touching Ian's with the words.

Ian pressed their lips together. For all his gentle touches throughout the night, his kiss was anything but. Like he needed him to breathe.

Ian pushed him backwards towards the living room, stumbling over each others' feet in the process. Mickey greedily pulled down on Ian's neck, desperate not to let him go. Ian smiled into it and dropped backwards onto the couch cushions, pulling Mickey on top of him, making out like dumb teenagers.

--

Eventually, they settled and Mickey rested his head on Ian's chest while Ian rubbed his back and head comfortingly. Truthfully, he was beginning to panic a bit. He hadn't liked anyone in awhile, and Ian was very hard to not like.

"Are you good?"

Fuckin' mind reader.

"I don't know." Smooth, Mick.

"You don't know what?" Ian probed gently.

Mickey sighed, "How to do this," he answered honestly. There was no point in lying to Ian.

Ian kissed Mickey's forehead, "We can do this any way you want, alright? No rush, no pressure."

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely," Ian scratched Mickey's head for a moment, "I've been waiting for you for awhile, Mick, I'll wait for however long you want."

Mickey leaned into his touch and then kissed his shoulder, "I want you, this."

"Me too." They smiled into each other. Safe together.

--

Neither made a move to push things further for the night. Ian had flicked on the tv to the same channel Mickey had on earlier, the Jurassic Park marathon still playing. After whatever movie was on now, Mickey decided he should head home. He was utterly exhausted after the day, and as much as he liked Ian, he didn't want to pass out in the guy's apartment -- though he was sure Ian wouldn't mind at this point, kind bastard.

After Ian had pulled Mickey into one last embrace, Mickey wretched open Ian's door, only to come face to face with his sister, makeup smudged and heels in hand after her night out.

She gasped way louder than fucking necessary, "You slut!"

"Shut the fuck up," he grumbled pushing past her to head back to his own apartment.

"See ya later, Mick!" Ian called down the hall. Mickey didn't respond, but Ian took no offense. To be fair, he had just been caught red-handed by his very dramatic bitch of a sister.

Mandy grinned and looked between Mickey's retreating form and Ian's blushing face. "Oh my god, Ian! I knew it!"

"Hi, Mands." He ducked his head, scratching the back of his neck.

She gave a cheeky, knowing wave goodbye and took off barefoot after Mickey, "You fucker! I want all the details!"

"You ain't gettin' 'em, bitch!" He stormed inside, but left the door open for her behind him.

Mandy threw her shoes on the floor and met up with him in the kitchen, punching his arm lazily so he spilled his newly-opened beer down his hand. "The fuck?!"

"I'm so proud of you!" She made grabby hands at Mickey in attempts to smush his cheeks, but he weaseled out of there quick enough to avoid her gross hands. She may be fuckin' drunk, but she was still quick.

"Yeah, will well ya stop screaming it from the rooftops. Ian's gonna think I'm a fuckin' loser."

"Awww," She chased after him as he headed down the hall, "You are a loser, but that's besides the point! I've been waiting for this for weeks!"

"Night!" Mickey shut his bedroom door in Mandy's face. She'd get over it in a minute. Hell she was probably well on her way to passing out already. Maybe she'd get some details out of him tomorrow.

But tonight -- he reveled in the fact that he spent the night making out with his very kind, very dorky, very hot red-headed neighbor.

--

And when Mandy eventually moved out from their apartment and in with her girlfriend, Mickey had absolutely no problem finding a new red-headed roommate.

[vtforpedro]

health/medical update

thank you all for your comments on my last post. I'm sorry I didn't reply, but they meant a lot to me. it's kind of blahhh being told you probably need brain surgery so I was digesting that. and digesting the appointment at the big neuro hospital shortly after! that was an appointment a long time coming, jfc. I brought along a copy of my diary of symptoms, but going in alone is still not great. anyway, I met the doctor and she was pretty nice. I started telling her my story and all the things I've been experiencing for over two years and about halfway through she was like 'ok! so I'm not an expert in IIH' 🙃 like I specifically made sure I would see an expert in IIH because I have fucking IIH. but she said something shocking right after. shocking in that I've not experienced it from any other doctor before and shocking in its simplicity 'but dr so and so is! so tell me the rest of your story and symptoms and I'll go grab him to go over it all and bring him in here' like whaaaAAAAAAA a doctor immediately admitting they don't know the answers so they're gonna get someone who does? RIGHT THEN AND THERE? insanity. bizarro world. it shouldn't feel that way, but unfortunately, it does. still, I was thrilled by this lmao we finished with my story and symptoms and meds, she did a typical neuro exam, then went and grabbed him. he came in, was really nice, holy shit intelligent, and yeah, an expert in IIH. he spent 35 minutes in the room with me, the other doctor, and my mom was on the phone basically he said 'yeah babe you've got IIH let's diagnose and fix ya' (but more professionally). I do have to get the LP because just in case it isn't IIH, which it totally is because I have almost every single symptom and he agrees, but he said he'd treat my migraines regardless. probably botox injections every three months, which are incredibly helpful for migraines from what I've heard my shitty ass neurologist was titrating me up on the med that helps IIH but I didn't take the higher dose in the morning mostly because 1. the scary ass MRI report about significantly decreased spinal fluid (neurosurgeon was like yeah ok but not really you're fine) 2. if I'm gonna get an LP, do I want to go up on the med that has already given me relief and get like a false normal reading? he said 'you're very intelligent' sksksksk and preferably he'd like to do LPs before the med for that reason, but I'm on such a low dose it should still read high regardless as far as brain surgery goes! the first doctor I met literally blinked and reared back when I said my neurosurgeon said I gotta get a shunt in my brain cause it's the only treatment for IIH she said no????? we have so many more things we could try first and you are SO YOUNG. so apparently shunts are life-long. I thought they could come out if there was no need for them anymore, but guess not. she said that they get infected, they break, they need replaced, they don't last long (eight years on average for adults but that's average. brain surgery over and over again is a Scary Thought) the other doctor said the exact same thing. they're like some people just need LPs regularly (1x a year, 4x a year), some are good on low doses of the med, some are good on extremely high doses. IIH is a finicky bitch and affects everyone in wildly different ways. he said he can't say I'll never need a shunt, but definitely not right now I told them 'yeah I was kind of hoping more weight loss and a higher dosage could be tried first???' and they both said YES so brain surgery is off the table and I'm kind of mad at my neurosurgeon for scaring the shit out of me lmao I told my mom I wonder if he said it as a dramatic fear tactic to make me get the LP and then would've been like 'oh nah you don't need surgery' after but 😒 fucking doctors this dr I will be seeing now complimented me numerous times. like what. that's new too. me knowing anything about the condition I have was intimidating to my neurologists, which is super hilarious and depressing looking back. he liked that I did tho. he said it was smart

to look for an emergency ophthalmologist when my eyes went batshit and to do it again or go to the ER if they do it again lmao but he said the fact that there's no swelling on my optic nerves yet means I'm probably not at risk of going blind anytime soon I have tons of visual disturbances which is exhausting and stressful, but as long as I am vigilant about the warning signs and get this LP and maintain a dosage of the med that makes the symptoms better, I should be ok that way? god hopefully. the alternative is terrifying I may also just have these symptoms forever. a lot of times this shit never goes away, which is also terrifying and I can't live like this for the rest of my life even if there's slight improvement. so I just have to hope this plan works for me anyway so I wasn't even halfway through writing this and had planned to complain that medical offices are still gonna medical office b/c I haven't been called about scheduling the LP or any other referrals he put in when they called me to schedule the LP lol now it's scheduled and I'm gonna have a cry after this they said I might not be able to do conscious sedation, which is weird b/c two neurologists said that'd be fine, but I literally have no idea how I am possibly going to get through it without any aid. you have to relax so they can do it properly or they won't be able to and I will absolutely not be able to relax. I have severe medical trauma and have worked up so much fear over this procedure that??? there's just no way. they asked if I could take an ativan beforehand since I'm on it already and I'm like buddy I've been on it so long it does not do what you want it to do anymore lmao so yeah. no idea how I'm going to avoid a panic attack because of IVs first, getting into the CT room, The Procedure. like good fucking luck to y'all and to me x_x sorry for rambling. I'm so fucking tired and my head is getting bad again. I had a brief respite of not feeling like I'm dying constantly but it's coming back now. super scared I'll be in a 'respite' period in a month, when the procedure is, which would mean a lower pressure reading. please cross your fingers for me weird to hope I'll be in incredible agony that day but I do hope so lol this is the most positive this experience has been with doctors and a plan moving forward. and he did say he'd treat me anyway if the pressure is normal because I have migraines regardless. so some tiny glimmer of hope I never ever trust first impressions with doctors anymore after the last two years of my life, but I hope this works out. donno what I'll do if it doesn't thanks for listening. love you all so much and I hope you're well. take care <3

[echo-three-one]

Chapter 42

THE ROAD SO FAR

This chapter was a mess. But it's my mess.

FOUR weeks of Silence

Gary "Roach" Sanderson

Veteran's Village

A peaceful Sunday meant that Roach, Alex and Soap were chilling at the house Samantha and Maxine were in. It had been 4 weeks since that Cuban incident and Francine had gone to therapy for her near death traumatic experience. If it wasn't for Soap, she would've been left out there for good.

France thought that it would be healthy to stay in a more domestic setup rather than the base so she took her time off duty to recover in the veteran's village. And ever since that day in Cuba, Soap and France's relationship was more expressive than ever.

"If we're having a barbecue tonight, we better head off to the meat shop." Alex peeked by the door, giving a heads up to the rest of the people sitting on the couch. Soap turned his head to Alex and tossed his keys as Roach stood up and came with Alex.

"Any other requests?" He looked at the group then to Maxine, who shook her head and laughed. 

"Just be back safe." She replied.

"Got it." Gary nodded and waved goodbye at them. Soap wanted to come along but France had been falling asleep on his lap for quite a while. And Maxine and Samantha noted that she hadn't had decent for days.

"Oh, Roach! Grab me a cigar maybe." He whispered, trying not to wake France up.

"Roger that." He nodded and made his way to Soap's jeep, where Alex was already waiting on him. He sat himself on shotgun and let Alex lead the way to their destination.

He turned on the radio as it played a song about driving. Roach was quick to shazam it and found out it was Automobile by KALEO.

"Now this is going to be on my playlist." Alex said as his head nodded to the music, taking him where the winds take him, far away.

"Agreed. Oh, Soap actually asked for cigarettes so we might have to stop by a convenience store on the way back." Roach informed as the song ended. 

"Okay. That's cool. Maybe add a few sodas for the girls. They probably haven't had those i  ages." He said as he turned the radio off and switched it to AUX.

"Here. Grab my phone and play that song again." Alex instructed as he drove through the streets, and Roach followed him. Playing the song again.

"Ah yes. This song is good." Alex sighed.

"Yeah. It's fire." Roach commented, making Alex raise an eyebrow.

"You know, fire… lit… slaps… Modern terminologies." Roach explained shyly as Alex chuckled.

"I'll never understand the young ones of today." Alex chuckled as he stopped by the parking lot, pulling his phone and leaving the car.

Dinner was the best part of the Sunday evening as the three couples enjoyed a hearty meal together, sharing experiences and funny stories like an extended family. Roach talked about his raccoon story once again as one topic led to another until such time that the inevitable topic was discussed.

"Speaking of fires, do you have any leads on Nero?" Samantha asked innocently as the men fell quiet, looking at each other. Wondering who would open up the topic.

"Well, uh… After his assault in New York…" Soap trailed off, his eyes went to Alex, signaling him to continue.

"Alex, it's your girl's question! Go answer it!" Soap complained as France laughed, wrapping her arms around Soap.

"He's gone silent." Alex muttered. Samantha was kinda sad she asked about it so she tried to make up by brightening up the mood.

The night continued on as the group played charades, girls vs boys. For an hour or so the soldiers forgot about their worries and acted like they're normal people living their normal lives outside work. It wouldn't hurt to pretend like that, especially when the baggage of guilt was hard to handle.

"So, Gary. I've been meaning to ask you something…" Maxine said as she assisted him in the kitchen.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"How are you… like mentally. You seem… off." She asked, Gary sighed and eased his shoulders.

"It's just… we almost lost a life back there… for nothing. Lannister hasn't said any useful information and as the days go by another assault might occur." he breathed out his worries, earning a back rub from Maxine.

"People have their limits. Lannister could break anytime. Let's just hope we're not too late." She assured him. It was a very negative statement but somehow it's actually helpful. Gary smiled and gave her a hug.

"Thanks Maxine." he said.

"Yeah. Don't ever think you're alone. I'm here for you. Actually, just last night. I had another memory restored. And it felt so important that you have to know it first. Before…" she said, her voice lowering down after every word.

"Before what?" Gary whispered jokingly. Maxine laughed and hit his chest gently.

"Nevermind that word. Back to my memory…

I…" she trailed off, looking like she was too shy and scared to finish the statement.

"You…?" Gary raised an eyebrow. Maxine took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"I had an ex-girlfriend." She blurted and paused right after saying it, bracing at what Gary's reaction.

"I- uh.. That's okay… There's nothing wrong with that, Maxine." He said like he meant it. Maxine was too shocked about his reaction. Maybe she thought about it too much.

"Like… does that change anything?" She asked.

"Nothing at all. Oh wait! Yes! It does." Gary announced and Maxine's smile almost dropped.

"It means that if I want to have you, I'll have to step up my game. I have more competition now." He realized and Maxime sighed in relief. This man was about to get some scolding.

"You worried me, you know!" He continued gently hitting on Gary's chest, giggling away all her fears. He still accepted her. This was great.

"My point's valid!" He laughed, defending himself from her hits,.like children playing house. This may seem like a simple event, but this was the beginning of something new for the two of them.

Task Force 141 Base - Interrogation Room

Price sat in front of Gabriel, they've been silent for about an hour now as Gary and Soap stayed on the viewing area to observe the interrogation. Alex was here thirty minutes ago but he left after he got a phone call.

"What kind of twisted play is this?" Soap asked, crossing his arms and looking at Gabriel.

"The bastard won't talk. Just cut off a finger or something." He scoffed. To Gary, it would make sense, but with all the cameras and the formalities, It wasn't allowed. Especially that Gabriel's alibi was that he got their first to investigate. Which was total bullshit.

"He still has his ace on his sleeve. As long as we don't find proof of involvement, he's going to be free soon." Gary commented, making Soap grumble some Scottish curses.

"It's pretty obvious!" Soap yelled as Alex entered the interrogation room, saying something to Price as they immediately left him alone. Whatever that message was, looked way more important than Gabriel.

"We've got a lead on Nero!" Alex said as he peeked on the door, making the two stand up immediately and head to the briefing room.

"Operation Eye of the Storm." Price announced.

"In 24 hours, Nero and his newfound friends will meet on a hotel in Prague. This intel was from one of the Resistance Leaders Alex once teamed up with. They reached out for help since Nero started to secure the whole city." Price paced back and forth on the big screen.

"The plan is to eliminate Nero and his allies. As simple as that. We have the element of surprise in our hands. Soap, I want you to position yourself on the clock tower, just by the hotel. A bullet to the head should work. Alex will be watching your six. Jack will be our eyes and ears inside the convention. He'll be signaling when they'll be out on the open. Roach and I will enter the building for cleanup. We only had one shot at this so let's make it count." Price briefed and everyone else murmured their thoughts, some were already thanking for a solid lead. This was it. The final showdown. The end of the war.

PRAGUE, CZECH REPUBLIC

Alex and Soap already left the resistance safehouse, they had to be at the clock tower tonight, using the concealment of the night and the noise of the rain for cover. The perfect opportunity to say under the radar. Meanwhile, Roach and Price stayed to defend the place as Nero's men once again ransacked the streets just to ensure his safety. The world may have announced that the war in US was over, but Nero still had some cities under his control. This minor setback was the reason he's planning for something new. And they're here to stop it.

"Alright, Roach. Your replacements here." Price said as he stood up from his spot. 

"Get ready for the big day tomorrow." He added as he nodded and left his gun for the next person to use. Tomorrow's battle is going to be tough, and even though he didn't want to admit it, Roach needed some rest.

Despite the occasional gunfire and screaming, Roach was able to sleep. He didn't mind the battle outside the building as his battle was with Nero. Once Soap shot him dead, he would also want to shoot him again, just to feel satisfied.

0639H 

Hotel Lustig

Prague, Czech Republic

Roach hid on the west wing of the hotel, while Price was on the other side. They were both clinging on to the walls as their entrance was at the small opening where Soap would shoot Nero. Roach eyed the convoy just below him.

"Convoy's up ahead. Nero should be in one of those cars." Soap muttered.

"Can't see shit through the lens. He could be anywhere." Alex added.

"Easy lads. We'll have a clear shot once they're in the balcony. Right Jack?" Price asked. Jack didn't respond, but maybe the signal inside was too weak.

"Jack? Do you copy?" Price asked.

"Da. I do copy, Captain Price. I'm just here to get my old prisoner back. I've had him in the gulag for quite a while but it seems this is our first time meeting face to face." A russian voice which everyone assumed to be Nero said in the most villainous tone possible.

"You're too predictable, Captain." he said as he clicked something, prompting an explosion on the clock tower.

"Get down! C4!" Price yelled as the two soldiers jump out, falling on to railings. Alex landed on a fruit cart by the tower while Soap landed on the car, crashing it as it alarmed.

"Roach! Go help them out!" Price ordered as Nero's men started to circle around the two while the resistance team helped them defend. 

Roach quickly pulled Soap up who was groaning in pain. Alex looked pained too but the look in their eyes says that they're still willing to end this today.

"Let's catch up with them." Alex said as a resistance member tossed them a rifle and quickly hid for cover, pushing their way into the hotel. At the corner of Roach's eye, he saw Price enter the building, loading his gun and ready to end this as well.

Next Chapter : THREE Bullets

Notification Squad my Beloved

@smokeywhalee @enderio @samatedeansbroccoli @whimsywispsblog @ricinbach @bumblingbee1

[sea-side-scribbles]

Behind The Mask

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34851811/chapters/91317466

Chapter 12

Morrie got through the evening by the skin of his teeth, unsuccessfully trying to focus again. His hands were shaking and he kept looking over his shoulders. Every movement in the room made him worry, he even believed to see Norbert a few times only to notice his mistake some blinks later. When the bar finally closed, he nervously packed his belongings and almost ran out of the room.

At home, he passed through another lonely night. His thoughts wandered, ignoring his attempts to distract himself. Dreams of soft touches, tender looks and blonde hair accompanied him in his sleep. The next morning brought another disappointment. He cried, tossing in his empty bed and hating himself for it. Nick had broken his heart again and he had allowed it, naïve as he had been.

He should've noticed it, telling by his voice, his attitude, the way he drank his coffee, the way he looked at him with his green eyes. These damned green eyes! There had been so many hints.

Gloomily, Morrie began his morning routine. Every step took longer than usual and so he was in the midst of making breakfast when a message with the blower came.

“A wonderful morning to you Morrie! You made it! Your article is in the newest Music Maker, even a front-page story. Nigel really put his shoulder to the wheel for this and I wish I could see Nick's face now. Wouldn't be surprised if people started asking for your records today. I'll display them all in my shop. This is going to be fun! There could be more clues to Nick's sins though. I hope his manager didn't interfere? Feel free to come by if you want to give this a sequel. I know a lot of stories. Well, until next time then. Kind regards to Nigel, too. Richard”

Morrie's lethargy vanished immediately, instead he was whipped into a frenzy. The damned article! This couldn't be true! How could Nick do this to him? He hurried to the next kiosk to get a magazine. He needed to see what the hell Nick had written about him. When he finally held a copy in his hands, he realized that his own face decorated the front page. Nick's photo had turned out great, Morrie had to admit that, but handing it out without his permission was still impudent. The salesman's gaze went back and forth between the photo and the man before him. Morrie silenced insistently. Other customers stared at him and he had to push them aside in order to get out of the shop. He rolled up the stupid magazine and put it in his pocket, so he didn't have to look at it while he went home.

In the kitchen he slapped it down on the table to flip through it. For a while he gave his own front-page story a doubting look. It showed a couple of photos, some were new and some illustrated his past. He still avoided the text, fearing what he would find there. Why did he agree to this in the first place? But since Richard hadn't noticed anything awful, it perhaps turned out to be acceptable. Now, there was no way back anyway.

Morrie took a deep breath before he read the story. He had to pause from time to time to process what he read. Again and again, his mind wandered back to Nigel, the man he had trusted and who had been respectful and loving. The text seemed to be written by him. Morrie found no hidden traps, no dirty tricks and lies as he had feared. This didn't look like a cruel joke. But what else would it be? What the hell did Nick try to achieve?

Then it occurred to him that something was missing. Nick's misdeeds. No mention of his jealousy, his wicked games and most of all not his plagiarism. Morrie felt vindicated. All of this was a farce. A veneer with glossy photos. And this was supposed to change his mind? If Nick believed that, he was a fool as well. Morrie would make the best out of it, use the new attention to do what Nick – most likely unwittingly - had advised him to do. He'd write his sinfonia and stop hiding. Nick would regret what he started.

Determined, he snapped the magazine shut and took it along to the Avalon. Murray had to see it too. Perhaps he'd notice if something was off. After all he wasn't self-conscious about it's contents. Soon, they sat together in Murray's office and the manager quietly flipped through the pages. Morrie tensed, now having second thoughts. It was very unpleasant to expose himself like that. The manager closed the magazine when he was done. “Well...that seems to be a good promotion for you.”

Morrie's muscles relaxed. “At least one thing that Nick miscalculated.” Murray looked up. “What do you mean?” “I gain from it, not him. Whatever he expects of this, he won't get it from me.” “What do you think he wants?” Murray eyed the photos. “Falsification of history?”, Morrie offered. “Mind you he didn't mention his faults, glozed right over them.” “It says firing you was a mistake.” “Maybe, but he forgets to mention why he did it. He claims it's uncertain, but we both know what he did.” Murray pondered. “I don't know...What if he thinks differently?” “Sure he does, but he didn't dare to write his lies. Because he knows better. Because what I said is true.” He crossed his arms. “He could've forgotten it all. Anyway, he doesn't blame you but himself.”

Morrie didn't like where their conversation went. “Now you sound just like Nigel...I mean Nick, when he tried to justify himself. Don't fall for his tricks, that's just what he expects us to do!” Murray gave the magazine another glance, as if it could add something. Silently, it stared back. “I don't know...This is all odd...If this is a hoax, then why did he write the story?” Morrie shrugged. “To confuse me? Nick doesn't think logically. He could've been high while writing this. Also, this could have consequences...” His expression darkened. “We should expect the worst.” Murray massaged his neck. “That would indeed be cruel...The text is so...nice. You could think that he...likes you.” Morrie felt a pang in his chest. They needed to end the matter before this went out of hand.

“That's what we're supposed to think!” He got up. “But I pestered you enough. Thank you for your honest opinion and your support. I hope I can do my job now without intermissions.” “Did Nick bother you yesterday?” “Yes, unfortunately. But your staff ushered him out right after. Good people.” Morrie tried to look on the bright side. “What did he say?”, Murray persisted. Morrie tensed again. “Nothing important, okay? I didn't even listen. See you around...”

Morrie ignored that he was too early in the bar and promptly started playing. He was loud and fast. It did well to blow off some steam, hoping that Nick wouldn't come back after his sorry act the day before. He had the eerie feeling that the guests stared at him, but he ignored them too. No one dared to approach him until suddenly a shadow appeared again. Turning his head, Morrie looked into the face of a ghost. He quickly turned back, cramping. Nick's voice shook him to the core. “I finished our story. I have it here. Do you want to read it?”

Morrie's fear turned into anger. He made the piano howl the grand finale and then snapped at Nick: “How dare you spreading gossip about me in the papers!? I never agreed to this! You lured me into your plan and you're not even ashamed! You're bold enough to come back to pester me again! Just piss off already!” Nick guessed that Morrie's screams alerted the boys and that he didn't have much time. “I did this for you! Just read it! You'll see that I mean well!” “I don't know shit!”, Morrie shouted. “I never know what you really want, because you're never sincere! If you think that some cheap flattery will change that, you're even more stupid than I thought!” “But I'm serious! It's not just flattery, it's the story you deserve! I was serious when I said you deserved more attention!”

“How very touching!” Morrie used his sarcasm as a shield. “So I'm supposed to accept charity from you? Did you forget it's your fault that you got all the fame for yourself?” “I didn't forget that! I could never forget you, Morrie...” Nick's voice began to shiver. “I miss you. I hoped I could make it up to you...” “By lying and stealing from me? You're sick, Norbert!” Nick's voice was faint. “Will you read it?” “I already did”, Morrie said coolly. “Try to tell the whole truth next time and stop going on my nerves.”

“I love you...”, Nick said with a faint voice while the staff came closer. The hotel boys were visibly embarrassed by the situation. The guests were upset as well and many of them stared at the two men that dared to disturb their peace. Morrie made an effort not to flinch. His anger helped. “You're fooling yourself. You're too self-absorbed to have any true feelings...” Nick didn't fight against the men that shoved him out this time. He was too exhausted.

To cap it all, Davis appeared in the corridor where his unwanted journey ended. “I hope this was a lesson for you...”, he said awkwardly. “You have no idea what that was!”, Nick blurted out, accompanied by tears. Davis kept his wooden demeanour. “I admit I don't know what all of this means.” “Then let me get back to him!”, Nick urged the manager. “Out of the question! You won't bother him again!” He placed himself in front of the entrance, as if he intended to protect Morrie himself. “You don't understand! Morrie and I, that's...” Nick hesitated. Then he deflated, slouching his shoulders. “Have you ever been in love?” Murray understood. All of a sudden, Nick's actions gave a picture, even if an irrational one.

“You could you believe to win a man's heart like that? What you did was all but foul play.” “I had to do it, so we could start over again. So that he stops seeing me like he does now and more like...like before...” The thought hurt. Now his memories would be all he had. “You've been with him before?”, Murray asked quietly. He didn't know a lot about Morrie's past. It occurred to be more complicated than he imagined. “Yeah...in the band...” Nick sobbed. “He means everything to me. How could I lose him?” He wept bitterly and abashed Murray who was still shaken by the news. Morrie never mentioned this. Was it possible...? “Are you sure that he...well...felt the same for you?” Nick nodded. “We were a couple...It was the best time of my life...” While Murray put the pieces together in his head, Nick fell into despair. “I have to talk to him! I have to save this!”

Murray made a decision. “Allow him some time. And most important: enough with the games!” “I'm not playing any games!”, Nick protested. “Morrie needs time to think about this. Just wait until tomorrow.” Nick looked him in the eyes, reminding him very much of Nigel. “You mean...he could change his mind?” His look was full of hope. “Perhaps. If you pull yourself together. You better skip the Party Favours tonight. Remember that you must be on your best behaviour.” Murray hadn't thought he'd ever try to talk Nick out of taking drugs and even hope to succeed. Nick actually pondered over it. Then he sighed. “It's gonna be a long night.” “You'll be alright”, Murray said, unsure if he spoke the truth. He simply wanted to give Nick strength.

The rockstar looked at him again, just the way Nigel had done it. “You're nice, despite everything...” “Ah, well...” Murray said with embarrassment. “It's for a good cause, right?” Nick smiled. “Well...have a good night then...”, Murray awkwardly dismissed him. It felt strange to have this conversation. “I'll try...”

Murray watched him leave almost sheepishly, without his usual strut. Could he do Morrie good?

But first he had distressed him instead, so Murray hurried back into the bar to look after his friend.

Morrie intrenched himself behind the stage after realizing what he had done. He sat on the floor right before the door to block it, resting his head on his knees and staring into the room. He barely moved, as if Nick would notice if he stirred. A sudden knock at the door startled him. “Morrie?”, said the voice of his friend. “Are you in there?” Morrie got up and opened. He turned away right after so he didn't have to look the other man in the eyes.

“How do you feel?” Murray's tone revealed how worried he was. Morrie shrugged. “I shouldn't have lost my temper...I should've kept my mouth shut...I'm sorry...”, he blathered nervously. “You don't have to be”, the manager answered, even though he would've preferred an evening without incidents. “Nick upset you. I can't even imagine how you feel.” Morrie nodded. “I don't know if I can't keep this up! I'm going crazy, Murray! I...I...I don't want this, but I'm about to abandon my post until the convention is over! I just can't be here knowing that Nick could come back any time!” “He won't try again.” “We don't know for sure. He doesn't give up easily.” “I am sure”, Murray admitted.

Morrie turned around to face him. “Why? What have you done?” It appeared to Murray that there was a trace of worry in his friend's tone. “I talked to him”, he answered and Morrie's concern melted. It almost turned into an eye-roll. “I just wanted to know what it was all about.” The other man eyed the floor again. “And did he tell you?” “I'd say it's complicated.” Morrie snorted. “Typically.”

Murray wondered how he could address this carefully. “You know him well, don't you?” “Very well! I used to live with him, you know? You better not believe a word he says!” Murray faced the floor now too. “You don't have to answer me, but...Nick mentioned you were a couple in the past....” Morrie closed his eyes, looking tired. “He pressed every button I see”, he whispered. He sounded resigned. Then his eyes filled with anger and he replied: “Before you use this to his defence, I have to tell you that he's not the man he was before! He changed for the worse! You know what he did to me, you can't pretend it didn't happen!”

“You said he reminded you of someone...”, Murray answered quietly. “It was a farce!” Morrie sounded desperate. “Stop that, Murray! It hurts enough! I never should've fallen for this!” He sobbed. “Now you know why I was easy prey for him...” “I think it's more complicated. Nick tried to become his past self.” “Well, that went great!”, Morrie sneered bitterly. “I believe he's trying to win your heart back”, Murray explained calmly. The other man silenced for a moment. “He...he told you...?” “I guess he needed to get it off his chest. Perhaps it was the truth.” “Well, perhaps, perhaps not, you never know...” Morrie struggled. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“You could talk to him too...I could've asked more questions but I didn't want to pry into your private matters. But you could get more out of him.” “I can't just talk to him! You don't know how it works with him! In the end, he's making more false promises and then...then I'm the fool again!” The tears came back. Murray walked closer to put a hand on his friend's shoulders. “Why did he come back? Why can't he leave me alone? He haunts me, no matter how much Joy I take, I never forget him! He's everywhere! In the radio, on TV, in every damn paper, and now he even stalks me here...!”

“Morrie...if this is another one of his tricks, I promise I'll make his life a living hell”, Murray said softly. “But you think it's not a trick?”, Morrie asked, for the first time without sarcasm. “I don't know him as good as you, but I'm sure I've seen a part of him that he used to hide. He looked broken, not like a cunning trickster following his plan.” “Well, he's broken every time he realizes what he became. But it never made him do any good.” Murray tenderly squeezed his shoulder. “Maybe now is the time...” Morrie sucked in the air, then slowly exhaled, before he looked back at his friend. “I hope you're right.”

[madsmikkelsenschesthair]

I’m sorry... ch.4 (Final chapter unless I decide there’s an epilogue)

A/N: woooo! Finally chapter of this mini series! I want to write an epilogue but uh...I don’t think I will since after this it will just be OC. Anywho, thank you so much for reading!!!

Warnings: traumatic birth, violence, death, angst, fluff

Pairings: General Hux x Reader and Kylo Ren x Reader

Y/N sighed as she looked out the window into the world beyond her. She was alone in her and Kylo's quarters; only the sound of the refrigerator could be heard and the wind outside rattling the windows. She was watching the world outside to pass the time, what else could she do? Armitage had sent her to her quarters and wouldn't explain why.

"Just stay there until either I or Ren come get you" he said. His face was paler than usual and he looked afraid. Terrified. What was going on?

And where was her husband?

Ben.

Y/N looked around the room, alarmed her eyes wide with fear looking at the door as if Ben was going to come bursting through the door at any moment. A kick coming from her womb broke silenced her thoughts, she looked down at her swollen belly and caressed it.

"I know," she whispered "I miss him too but I don't know where he is little one." The baby kicked again then three more times, moving inside her. She suddenly felt a jolt of pain coming from her abdomen, it caught her by surprise and she jumped slightly at this. Y/N frowned and the pain returned again this time more intense, she gripped her hands to the window seal when she felt warmth rushing down her legs. Y/N lifted her dress and a big puddle of fluid lay on the floor. Another pain seized her this time more intense than the last two. She did her best to keep her breaths even as she looked around for her husband's data pad.

"Oh gods please help me!" She rummaged through his things on the coffee table scattering books and papers on to the floor. Tears blurred her sight as she practically tore the place apart. Another contraction hit her much harder dropping her to her knees, she placed a hand on her belly and cried out in pain. This pain was worse than menstrual cramps, a thousands times worse it felt like she was being ripped in half. Where was he when she needed him?! She screamed again louder, loud enough for someone to hear her. Anyone. She could already feel the child practically ripping her in half.

During Rey and Kylo's fight against the guards, Armitage managed to escape the scene unharmed. He was leaving for good and taking Y/N back to her father in the Resistance. He didn't care if he was going to be arrested; Ren had other plans now and Y/N seemed to not be part of them. When he arrived at her quarters he was about to knock on the door when he heard a scream coming from the other side.

It was her.

He punched in the code to open the door and the sight before him nearly made the Great General Armitage Hux break. Y/N was covered from the waist down in her own blood, hunched over the sofa, a puddle of blood oozed around her. It looked like a murder scene to him. When she saw him she started to cry. He immediately went to her and cupped her face with his hands, "Don't speak my love, don't speak, everything is going to be alright" he kissed her cheek lovingly. He noticed tears were in her eyes, her breathing slowing down.

"just take me to the medical center, Tij. I'm dying..." she whispered between gasps. Armitage swallowed back a sob and picked her up bridal style and carried her away to the medical center. He didn't notice the bloody trail left behind.

"Push love you're almost there!"

Y/N screamed in agony as the pain inside her spread through her like wildfire but she pushed anyways. Armitage held her hand and watched in horror as the bedsheets underneath her went from a snow white color to a crimson hell. Her beautiful peach dress was soiled in the angry red color and her dear face was damp with sweat. Y/N gripped the hospital bed as she pushed as hard as she could before flopping back on the bed still screaming. Blood dripped out of her like a faucet. She was hemorrhaging badly. Armitage tried hard not to cringe at her pain but he couldn't help it, the love of his life was in agony and he couldn't do anything about it. The droid at the other end couldn't do anything either but wait for the baby to come out.

It was just her and her pain.

Y/N gave one finally scream when the droid was holding something. Something red and slimy with kicking feet. And a small voice that opened up to a wail. A tiny, tiny voice. While the baby was being cleaned up, Armitage could see it was a boy. A wave of relief washed over him, it was finally over and Y/N would return to her father with her son beside her. The baby boy was wrapped in the softest wool blanket he had ever seen and taken to his mother.

The droid handed the baby over to Armitage, who gladly took it and lowered the child so a dying Y/N could see. He had a head full of black hair and Armitage could already tell he was Kylo Ren's exact copy.

"It's a fine boy" he said in a low tone, "Pick a name for him, love."

Her voice was barely audible now. Her weakness was taking over but she managed a small smile at her son. "Kes. Kes Han Solo" she said. Armitage was confused at this, "Solo? No Ren?"

"Promise me," she whispered fiercely holding on to the baby's tiny hand, "Promise me my son won't be raised to be like my husband."

Tears started to form in his eyes. She continued, "Promise me my son won't be raised in the hands on the First Order. In the hands of Kylo Ren." He stroked her hair softly her, soothing her during her final moments.

"I promise, my love. I promise you."

Her eyes were pleading, "Take me back to my father. Tell him I love him and I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused" Hux's bottom lip trembled but he refused to let go of his tears.

"Take my son to my father Tij...."

The darkness was finally taking her, "Tij...there's still good in him..." she looked at her son one last time with a weak smile on her lips and closed her eyes forever. This time he didn't stop the tears from coming. They rolled down his face and on to hers; even in her death she looked so beautiful. He knew she had found peace in her eternal slumber; nothing hurt anymore, her heart was no longer broken by the man she once loved, no more worries. Sobs shook his entire body, a scream built up in his throats and he let it out. He lost her for good now.

Everything he did was for her and he didn't understand why fate had to take her away. She was so young and beautiful then she birthed his enemy's son.

He looked down at the baby; it was mewling away in his arms. Remembering his father, Hux knew Rose was right; her son couldn't be raised in the hands of the First Order. She wanted a different story for him, a different life. A place where he wouldn't be raised in the dark side or an angry man. She was right and he was keeping her promise.

The door to the labor room hissed open and he could hear Ren come in. His back was turned to him, Kylo couldn't see his wife's body but he could see the bloody pool surrounding Hux's boots.

"Where is she General?" His voice was full of suspicion.

He didn't answer instead he was crying silently.

"Hux..." Kylo said and stepped closer to him "Where is my wife?" Instead of answering he stepped away from her body.

Kylo lost it; he ran to her almost slipping in the blood on the floor. "My love..." he choked "my love please wake up....please wake up I'm here now" he started to cry, loudly. Loud enough for the entire medical center to hear him. "Wake up and tell me you're not leaving me...please don't me leave me I can't do this on my own, please" Hux didn't say anything but watched as his rival lost his sanity. Kylo screamed into the night, he took out his light saber igniting it and began to tear the room apart sending red angry sparks everywhere. To Hux, this was pathetic. He lost the girl he truly loved and begged for her attention only for her focus to be placed on a man that hardly looked at her anymore. Kylo knew that he was the reason she was no longer alive and he couldn't do anything but cradle her body and cry. Cry like he never did before.

Hux noticed Rey watching the entire scene go on before her and he stepped outside with the baby still in his arms. There was a moment of silence between them. He was sure that she had never imagined the great Kylo Ren to loose his mind; he had to admit neither did he.

"Her son's name is Kes" he said in a cracked tone, "Kes Han Solo Dameron. Named after his great grandfather and grandfather." Rey's gaze turned to the little bundle in his arms and walked closer to him. She held out her arms and he gladly gave her the baby. "She said she didn't want him to be raised in the hands of Kylo or the First Order. She wanted me to take her body and son to her father in the Resistance..." Rey rocked the baby in her arms never taking her eyes off him, "I'll take them. They'll be in safe hands." Hux gave a curtly nod and looked back at Kylo; he was no longer crying but rocking his wife's body back and forth like a mother putting her child to sleep.

No parent has to see their child's dead body. Every father imagines his daughter lowering his body to the grave not the other way around. When Rey first arrived to the Resistance base, the first thing Poe noticed was his grandchild and after a brief happy reunion he looked behind Rey looking for his daughter. Waiting for her to come out of the Falcon but the look on Rey said it all. He cried, fell to his knees and cursed the gods; he felt guilty for treating her so badly after her mother died. But Rey told him what Hux wanted him to know, that she forgave him and that she was sorry for leaving and causing him great pain. This made him cry even more. To have her body brought back to him was a great relief; he no longer had to wonder where was she buried or where were her ashes thrown. His daughter's funeral was beautiful; there were blue roses everywhere, she was wearing a light teal green dress with chiffon lace, her long h/c hair loose with white flowers on it. That day was warm and sunny to Poe it was perfect; he didn't want his only daughter to be buried on a rainy day adding more gloom to her funeral. Y/N was buried on a hill somewhere, under a fruit tree, with the sun and clouds above her and the rain to wash her clean. It was perfect. Poe was beyond happy when he learned his daughter named his grandson after his father and her father in law, refusing the surname "Ren". Leia, Rey, Rose Tico and Finn all promised he wasn't raising little Kes alone; that he had them.

-15 years later-

Kes Solo sadly watched the snow fall down on to his mother's grave. It had been fifteen long years since her death.

"Here lies Y/N Y/M/N Dameron. Granddaughter, daughter, wife and mother. May the Force be with you" he read aloud. The wind blew and he could almost feel his mother's hand caressing his cheek. He came to see her almost every day since as long as he could remember, always bringing her flowers or a peach because he was told that was her favorite fruit. This time he brought her hot chocolate to fight against the cold winter afternoon. Through the Force he sensed his papa walking towards him. Before he could speak Kes said, "He's not my father you know," he was referring to Kylo. Poe sighed defeatedly but Kes continued to speak, "I don't have 'Ren' at the end of my name. It's Solo Dameron; son of Ben Solo and Y/N Dameron not Kylo Ren." Over the years Kes, grew an intense hatred towards his father, bowing to kill him for ruining his mother and killing his grandfather and many innocent lives to stay in the Dark Side. He was often told he looked like his father which to he replied that he had no father; that he died when his mother died. Ben Solo was no more and he wasn't going to accept Kylo Ren into his life.

Poe rested a hand on his grandson's shoulder, "So do you want to be a Jedi like your mother and father?" Kes shrugged, “Maybe. Uncle Luke says I’m already a pro but I also want to become a pilot like you or a General like my grandma. And when I do I'm going to bring peace and justice to the galaxy like it's supposed to be." Poe smiled softly at his grandson and ruffled his hair, "You remind me of your mom, Kes."

The boy looked down at his mother, "She was beautiful wasn't she? And kind..." he muttered. Poe nodded agreeing with Kes, "Yes she was pal. Now," he patted Kes's shoulder and said "let's go home kid. Grandma Leia invited us over for dinner." Kes nodded and his grandfather began to walk away, leaving him alone once again. Through the trees and the snow, standing a few yards away from his mother’s grave was the man himself. Kes sensed him staring but he ignored him. The boy knew Kylo wanted talk to talk to him, Kes wanted nothing to do with that man. He kissed his mother’s grave one last time and ran after his grandpa.

Somewhere above the clouds and into the galaxy, Kylo watched his son through holograms. His heart shattered every time Kes refused him through the Force bond they shared. Locking the door in his face or running away from him as soon as he spotted him. Hux watched him, satisfaction running through his veins.

"You deserve it. You deserve being torn apart by your own blood" he sneered at Kylo.

The Supreme Leader huffed and said, "You were a damn fool to listen to her. I should be training my son...at least a piece of his mother would still be with me."

"Yes, but I think this is the reason why she wanted a better life for him. Your boy doesn't even want to talk to you, he's aware of who you are and what you've done." Hux earned a glare from Kylo. The Supreme Leader turned his attention back to the hologram this time Hux joined him. They both watched the boy train with his mother's white lightsaber breaking a vase in the process. Both men chuckled.

"He looks like you Ren" Hux said quietly. Kylo sighed and nodded, "Yes but he has her spirit" he was referring to Y/N.

"That fire inside him...isn't mine. This fire is more intense, stronger, bolder than mine. His light will never die. It's the spark of it all."

Kes was now being scolded by his grandmama for breaking the vase. She pointed a finger at him angrily while he cleaned up his mess. His dark curls covered his face so Kylo wouldn't see. He did that often knowing his father was watching and didn't want him to his disgruntled face.

"He'll have to forgive me one day..."

Maybe he would but for now, Kylo would do everything to bring his son back.

@dtftheavengers @angelcvsmic

[abutterflyscribbles]

@magic-and-moonlit-wings @tough-girl9 a prologue of sorts

“Slimy little weasel!”

“What was that, son?”

Bog fumbled with the diary he had been engrossed in. He had not noticed his mother returning from lunch. Restraining himself from shoving the book hastily out of sight, Bog placed the diary back on its shelf and removed the gloves he had been wearing to handle it.

“Nothing, mom!” Bog called back.

He flipped open a random catalog to make it look like he had been working. Just in time, too. His mother stuck her head around the corner, all frizzy red hair and cheerful grin. “Been back here all day? You should come out front and help the customers I brought with me. I met them at the cafe. Such lovely young ladies--”

Bog slammed a stack of cheap paperbacks on the counter, adding onto the wall of books he had been building around himself all days. “You know better than I do where we keep the cheap, sleazy romance novels.”

“Romance never hurt anybody, there's no reason to act like it bit you!”

She flounced off to the front of the shop.

Bog shuffled the stacks of books around a little, trying to get himself to start a new task. He didn't want to. He wanted to take the diary back out and read what happened next. The diary's author, an unknown woman from a hundred or so years ago, had just recorded the incident of her fiancé's betrayal. Bog had never wanted to sock anyone so much before.

He hadn't meant to do more than skim a few pages of the diary to try and get a grasp of its age, condition, and possible value. Opening it to a random page he found an ashamed little entry about the writer leaning to fence on the sly. That had intrigued him enough to start reading from the beginning and work his way through the typical girly drivel so common in these sort of things.

The diary had been one in a series, it seemed, and none of the other volumes had been collected with this one. It had been purchased in a grab bag sort of deal where Bog had gotten a crate of random old books at a discount. There had been nothing else of interest or value in the crate and most of it had been bought up by art students or people looking to decorate their homes with a touch of pretension.

Giving up on working, Bog rearranged the book stacks to screen himself from view and settled back into his chair with the diary carefully open on the table in front of him. The writing after the betrayal of the author's fiancé grew darker and was written in bolder strokes than before. The brief mention of her heartache was not referred to again and the author plunged into a series of wild escapades that resulted in impressive scandals. Challenging her ex to a duel, for example. Or helping her sister elope with an unsuitable young man.

Each incident was sketched in a brief but vivid style that revealed very little personal emotion. Somehow Bog sensed her heartache even through the reckless, carefree dash of her pen. Maybe it was because he knew how it was to throw yourself into other things to avoid painful feelings. Maybe he was just projecting. Whatever the case, Bog wished he could have met this mystery writer. Or at least read the diaries that came after this one. This one ended with her notes on preparation to leave her family home and appeal to an aunt to help her take a house in town. The aunt sounded like quite the character. Bog wished he could hear more about her.

Closing the diary and stretching, Bog sighed. A fragment of someone's life, chipped away from the rest, a crystallized moment. He could look at the broken edges of it and imagine what the rest looked like, but he'd never really know. He admired the fragment of life he did know. She'd been shy and ashamed of who she was and when it came to a breaking point she shed all her doubts and fears and emerged bold, fearless, and truly herself. Admirable. Enviable. Bog could never imagine doing the same.

He'd been unlucky in love himself but unlike the author the blame had fallen entirely on him. He has assumed too much, pushed too much, imagined what wasn't there. He had imagined that a face and personality like his were at all lovable. He'd been painfully silly. While the author of the diary had advanced, Bog had retreated. Back into himself, into sullen in the back of the bookshop. Books were complete creatures. They didn't change on you. You couldn't misunderstand them like people.

Bog reread the last few sentences of the diary. Off on an adventure. Forever just setting off on an adventure. Not having the rest of the diaries in a way made it possible for her to forever been on her adventures, proud and free. Heartbreak and death, they couldn't touch her. Yes, truly an enviable thing.

Over the weeks Bog found himself looking at the diary again and again in his spare moments and even in moments he couldn't spare. Trying to picture the woman who fought for freedom in a world made to cage her.

'You asleep back there?” his mother called from the front of the shop.

“No.” Bog grunted from behind his books.

“Then get out here and help this customer, I'm swamped!”

Bog put the diary away and gritted his teeth. Customer service was his least favorite thing in the world. Especially when the customer was a woman and his mother was making encouraging faces in the background. Today was no different. A woman, probably around Bog's own age, but carrying it better, was loitering impatiently by the counter. She had sharp features and fine lines of cynicisms etched lightly around her mouth and eyes.

“Yes?” Bog asked. He was ready to see her disgust at the sight of him.

“Finally!” the woman said, “I tried calling you people all week! Don't you answer the phone?”

“Apparently not.” Bog could have explained their number had changed at their website hadn't been updated yet but he doubted that would have appeased her.

“Whatever,” she pulled a handful of papers out of the pocket of her leather jacket, “I'm looking for a book--”

“No, really?”

“Drop dead. A particular book. An old diary.”

Bog's heart skipped a beat. She couldn't have meant his. “Yeah, we get some coming through here, but we don't usually hang on to them long. Not much interest.”

“I'm the not much interest. Here's pictures of one of the companion diaries. It should be bound the same if the original cover is intact.”

Bog's heart sank. The picture looked like his diary. The photos of handwriting samples were a perfect match too. He made a split second decision and slapped the photos back on the counter. “Never seen it.”

“And you've read every book in this place?” the woman said, unconvinced.

“Close enough to make no difference.” he said firmly.

He wasn't giving up that diary. That little piece of a person he admired and felt almost like a friend to him. He'd bought it, legal and upfront. He'd no obligation to even admit he owned it.

“C'mon, you aren't even going to point me to your reject bin of worthless old books? All the other places at least had the courtesy to do that.”

“I make no claims to courtesy.”

The woman blew a few strands of reddish-brown hair out of her face. “Look, you oversized grump--”

“You look, tough girl with a Napoleon complex--”

“Napoleon wasn't even short!”

“You don't deny that you are?”

“Like you can even tell! You must bang your head every time you forget to duck going through a door. Look. This diary belongs in my family and I've been trying to track it down. Some great-great-great aunt or something. I've gotten most of the others but--”

“Others?”

“Yeah, all the early volumes and most of the later ones after she left home--”

“The later ones? Really?”

“Yeah—wait,” She gave him a measuring glare, “you do have one, don't you?”

Bog shrugged.

The woman, to Bog's astonishment, blushed. “You . . . you didn't read it, did you?”

Bog shrugged again.

The woman looked as if death would be a blessing. Bog was totally confused. She ran her hand through her short hair and cleared her throat, “Uh, which one—what point of her life—oh, fork it over!”

“Fork what over?” Bog asked with a smirk.

“You've got it, I want it! It belongs to me!”

“Ownership is nine tenths of the law, tough girl. If I have it, that is.”

“I'll break your thumbs. I'll pay you. A lot. Whatever you want.”

“Not interested.”

“Why? What good is a moldy old diary full of sentimental trash?”

“I like her.”

“Beg pardon?”

Now Bog found himself blushing. “I mean, the one who wrote it. She's—she was interesting. I like her. Her adventures. I like her adventures. She was obviously someone pretty unique and special and I like having that little glimpse into her life . . .”

The woman was red as a beet. From anger, Bog assumed. “You do have it! And please, she was a silly little idiot. Or—or so family legend has it.”

“She was extraordinary.” Bog insisted.

“Extraordinarily silly!”

“You've got the later volumes, right? Have you even read them? She was brave and steadfast and fought like mad for what she thought was right in a time in history where she was expected to sit down and shut up!”

“I hate you!”

“I'm not so foud of you either, tough girl!”

“Just give me the book! I'm putting together a family history thing and I want it for an exhibit. Yeah. An exhibit.”

“Can I make a copy?”

“No!”

“No deal.”

“What will it take, you cockroach?”

“Let me read the later diaries.”

“What? No way! No chance!”

“No deal.”

“Anything else!”

“Not interested.”

“You—I'll—I'll be back!”

The woman crammed her papers back in her pocket and stormed out of the shop.

Bog, avoiding the eyes of the other customers, stalked back to his desk, oddly flustered. He was angry at himself. He'd run smack into the descendant of the woman in the diary and he hadn't even gotten any contact information about her or the exhibit. Idiot. Some manners might have gone a long way, but no, he had to snap and growl. Idiot.

Bog looked at the diary. “I bet you'd dislike me as much as your grand-niece does, if you two are anything alike.”

[jojo-at-his-computer]

Of course. I gotta say, this kinda makes me think of the song Pity Party, so I love it.

Josuke X Reader: Happy Birthday To You

It was a lovely morning in Morioh when you woke up, the smell of chocolate chip pancakes and bacon greeting you. You got up, washed your face, put on your favorite outfit, brushed your hair and went downstairs. Your dad was reading the newspaper while your Mom set your place at the table with your special breakfast.

"Happy birthday!" shouted Mom and Dad. You smiled. It was your 16th.

"Thank you guys!" you said sitting down to your meal, instantly drowning your pancakes in syrup and devouring them.

"Imagine that." said Dad in surprise "16! Almost a grown-up." He and Mom smiled proudly.

"Hurry up and eat, then we'll get the decorations put up." You beemed and you finished your breakfast, appetite invigorated.

As you went around the house putting up balloons and streamers in your favorite colors, your mind wandered. Your family had only moved to Morioh a few months ago. You ended up starting highschool in town as a first year, one of many new kids, and you ended up making a few new friends there. Your best friend was Josuke Higashikata, a classmate of yours. He was a pretty nice guy, though if someone were to make fun of his hair, he'd kick their ass. He had a unique pompadour haircut, and while you were a bit nervous to say so, you thought it was cute. You thought HE was cute. Okay just admit it, you were totally crushing on him, hard! You liked everything about him, his hair, his sapphire blue eyes, his smile, and on your first day of school, he saved you from a group of bullies that were trying to shove you into a locker. You've been wanting to confess your feelings to him, but you've been so nervous. You shook your head. Today's not the day to think about mushy stuff like that. Nope! Today's the day for celebration! It's your party and your day to shine!

After putting up the decorations, Mom told you to go ahead and relax in the living room for a few hours until the time that guests would arrive. You played some Mario for a bit, but after falling down and dying for the umpteenth time, you decided it'd be better to watch a few anime videotapes for the time being. But as you went to plug in the VCR, you heard Mom slam the phone in frustration.

"Just great!" shouted Mom. She shook her head and calmed her voice down to not upset you as much. "I'm sorry sweetie, but Grandpa is sick and can't make it, and I just got off the phone with your Aunt. She had an emergency meeting that's running late and had to cancel."

"Oh!" you said a bit surprised. "I'm sorry. That really sucks! I hope Grandpa gets better." You felt bad, but you also knew that your parents would try to get them together again and you all would get to do something special altogether, like a movie or dinner at a restaurant.

"I'll tell Grandpa you said that." said Mom. "It's about time for your friends to start arriving, why not wait in the sunroom to greet them." You glanced at the clock, about 5 til 4 pm, realizing she was right.

"Okay" you answered. You grabbed a copy of Shonen Jump to read as you awaited your friends arrival. 10 minutes, no one yet. That's okay, it's only 5 after 4. 30 minutes went by. Huh that's weird, but they must be running late. 45 minutes now. You start getting a little worried. An hour. You ended up finishing your Shonen Jump magazine. Out of fear and anger, you start pacing the floor in front of the door. Tears start to well up under your eyes. It's 5:15, more than an hour and no one shown up! Without giving it a 2nd thought, you cross to the phone in the kitchen. Mom asked you a question, but you ignored her, all you could think about was knowing why the hell you got stood up at your own party.

You dial Josuke's number at rapid fire speed, hearing the dial tone indicating the phone was ringing. You heard the gentle click as Josuke answered on the other end.

"Moshi moshi, this is Higashikata!" answered Josuke. You couldn't help but feel an odd sense of joy hearing his gentle voice, followed by anger and hurt that he wasn't at your party.

"Where were you!" you said suddenly shouting. Josuke was taken aback.

"(Name) is that you?" asked Josuke. "Where we supposed to hang out or something today? What's wrong?" All of the sudden you couldn't take it anymore and tears burst from you, not being able to hold it in anymore.

"I can't believe you didn't show up for my party!" you shouted "Nobody shown up, the party has been going on since four, and nobody came! Not even Grandpa or my aunt could make it!" you were heaving in-between sobs, shaking before you realized you heard Josuke ask something. You calmed down a bit before you asked him to repeat what he just said.

"Today's your birthday?" he asked.

"Yes of course it's my birthday! I sent you the -" you cut off when it clicked in your brain. You realized what might have happened, why nobody had shown up.

"You didn't get an invitation, did you?" you asked Josuke.

"I don't think so!" answered Josuke, "I wouldn't forget your party if I did."

"Oh my God!" you said feeling weak. "Of course! Something must have happened with the invitations! I'm so sorry. I should have known you'd make it. Well now the party is ruined and it's all my fault."

"Not yet!" answered Josuke. "Don't cancel the party yet. Give me about an hour, I promise."

"Okay." you answered, taking a deep breath. "I believe you, just get here as soon as you can." You hear the dial tone that the line is now dead. You breathed a sigh as you sat on the floor waiting. It was now 5:25. You waited some more. It was 5:55. You called Josuke's house again, but his mom picked up. However she did confirm that Josuke left awhile ago. You said thank you and hung up. At this point Mom looked in the front room where you were waiting.

"I'm sorry honey." she said hugging you. "It's been a couple hours, why don't you join us and we'll cut the cake."

"No mom, I know Josuke for sure is coming." You explained how you found out there was an apparent mailing mishap that prevented the invitations from reaching your friends. Mom shrugged.

"Okay." she said. "But if he doesn't show up before 7, we're cutting the cake without him."

"Deal" you said. You looked at the clock, it was now 6:15, nearly an hour since you spoke to him. Where could he be? Of course! He must be going to get me a present, you reasoned. No sooner you finished your thought, there's a knock at the door.

"Hello", you say as you answered the door. You opened it to find not only Josuke had arrived like he said he would, but he brought some friends with him too. There was Okuyasu and Koichi, two of your friends from school, and two people you didn't recognize, an old man with a white beard and glasses, and a man in his late 20's wearing a white hat that had "JO" on it. Everyone's arms were loaded with giftbags.

"Oh my gosh!" you gushed, "You guys made it! Josuke thank you for bringing everyone here." you said giving him a hug. "C'mon in guys." you motioned for everyone to come inside.

"Sorry we're late," said Josuke, "I called Koichi and Okuyasu, along with my, er, relatives, this is Joseph Joestar and Jotaro Kujo by the way." he said motioning to the old man and the man in white respectively. You remembered Josuke saying he had family members in town recently.

"Hello there," said Mr. Joestar.

"Hello," said Jotaro with a small smile.

"Nice to meet you. Thank you both for coming." you replied.

"We realized that we didn't have any presents." said Koichi.

"And we weren't sure what to get you." admitted Okuyasu.

"Yeah," said Josuke a bit embarrassed. "We kinda panicked and went to different stores. Sorry we didn't have time to wrap anything."

"That's okay!" you laughed. "You didn't have to get me all these presents. I'm happy to have you guys present! (God that's such a terrible pun lol) I'm so glad everyone's here." You led everyone to the kitchen, having the guests put their gifts on one of the tables. There was a whole table with pizzas and potato chips and soda pops, you told the guests to help themselves. You made conversation with your friends and Josuke's relatives as you enjoyed your pizza. Jotaro talked about his marine biology work he's been doing in town. Later you opened presents from your friends. After that, your parents brought out the cake, frosted with pastel buttercream and had 16 candles all aglow. Everyone sang Happy Birthday as you blew the candles, making your wish.

Shortly after the cake and ice cream, the guests started to leave. You said goodbye and thanked everyone for coming. Josuke decided to hang around a little bit before going home. The sun had set and it was nighttime. You and Josuke decided to sit in the backyard and look at the stars.

"I'm so sorry I yelled at you earlier," you said a bit embarrassed.

"Hey, don't worry about it." said Josuke. "I'm sorry I forgot your birthday. I probably should have called earlier, but I forgot, I've just had a lot on my mind lately." You nodded understandably. You couldn't exactly put your finger on it, but a lot of weird stuff was happening lately in town.

"Anyways," said Josuke, pulling out something from his jacket pocket, "I kinda lied. I had something special I've been wanting to give you. I got this awhile ago." It was a small rectangle shaped box. You opened it and inside was a gold medallion necklace with two gold charms, a heart and a peace sign, just like the gold pins he wears on his uniform.

"Oh my, this is beautiful!" you exclaimed. "I love it. Thank you!"

"I'm glad you love it!" said Josuke blushing a little. You sighed. Guess the time is now to tell him.

"So, I've been wanting to tell you for awhile. I've had a crush on you since I started school here. I think you're cute, I love your hair, and I ended up making friends here thanks to you, and I want to be more than friends, but I was so nervous to tell you because I'm afraid you wouldn't like me that way and then things would be awkward and - "

You were interrupted when Josuke suddenly gave you a quick kiss. Both of you blushed a bright red.

"I'm sorry." said Josuke blushing a bit. "I've been wanting to tell you too. That's why I got you the medallion."

"Thank you so much." you say happily. "Now that we're together, you want to see a movie or something this weekend?"

"That sounds great!" says Josuke. You put on the madallion necklace, smiling at Josuke.

"You look beautiful!" said Josuke smiling. You happened to look at your watch, it was about a quarter to 10.

"Oh crap! It's late! You got to get home!" you said in surprise.

"Oh God you're right!" said Josuke looking at the time. "Meet you at the movies this weekend?"

"Of course." you answered. You gave him a kiss goodbye and walked him to the front door. You waved goodbye as he left, then went to help Mom clean up and put away the party decorations. While it had a rocky start, it turned out to be an amazing party. You thought about the wish you made when you blew out the candles, it had come true. You wished to kiss Josuke.