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singingisfun · 5 years ago

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Changing Tides - Chapter 22

link to cover art by @otpapprovedbythegods

And here’s a link to an adorable pic of Dopey as a pirate by @clockadile

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Chapter 21: The Confession & The Declaration

Hello everyone! No, you're not seeing things. I've finally finished the next chapter! Thanks for all of the encouraging messages. Sorry it took so long. Hopefully, the last few chapters will go faster. Lots of love for sticking with me! Hope you enjoy!

Rachel

And, as always, thank you @optomisticgirl for your beta services!

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Dopey has always prided himself on his ability to see the best in every situation. And he’s always endeavored to encourage others to see it as well. Life can be stressful. It can be fraught with danger. And in the case of those closest to him, stress and danger are a regular occurrence which, at times, has made his goal nearly impossible to accomplish.

And it certainly has been impossible for the past week. The blanket of anxiety that has settled over the Jolly Roger since the night they escaped Regina’s warship has been nearly suffocating. Everyone is tense. Everyone on edge. And no amount of distraction is helping.

The Spark of Prometheus is still unlit. Regardless of how many times Emma and Killian try to light it, it continues to lay stubbornly in its case, dull and black. And with each failed attempt, the peace the two of them had forged since finding each other again has deteriorated. In fact, it’s gotten so bad, they are barely speaking.

For instance, right now. There they are at the helm with Merlin while he holds the case and murmurs encouragement. Killian’s hand is resting on Emma’s waist, but that’s the only point of contact between the two of them. Emma’s hands are balled into fists at her sides, her brow glistening with perspiration and her eyes clamped shut in concentration.

No one else is on deck and Dopey can’t blame them. During the first few attempts, everyone had been gathered around, watching expectantly, but now they intentionally make themselves scarce. Even Merlin looks like he wishes he could be anywhere else.

Long minutes pass, and Emma’s breathing becomes harsh. Her eyes squeeze tighter and her head bows. Then, with a sound of frustration, she stomps her foot and opens her eyes.

Killian’s hand drops from her waist and Emma mumbles something Dopey can’t hear. Then she turns and walks to the hatch, disappearing from view. Killian shakes his head and walks to the opposite hatch.

Dopey sighs and goes back to polishing the Jolly’s bell.

The way Dopey sees it, there are two obstacles standing in their way.

First, David. As much as he loves his king, the man is hell bent on keeping Killian and the princess from having more than a few minutes alone. His protective nature was a bit comical at first, but as time has passed, it’s become clear the king is hindering more than the couple’s… um… romantic tendencies.

The second reason is less obvious. At least to most. But Dopey can see it plain as day. Killian is keeping something from Emma. A secret that weighs heavily on him. And he’s been keeping it from her since the first day she awoke on the Jolly Roger.

“Do you know what it is?”

The sound of Merlin’s voice startles Dopey so thoroughly that he drops the scrub brush to the deck with a clatter.

Turning, he faces the wizard with wide eyes.

“Do you know what he’s keeping from her?” the wizard asks again.

Confused, Dopey turns to scan the deck behind him to see who on earth Merlin is addressing. Finding no one in the vicinity, he looks to the other man and points to his chest. Me? he thinks.

“Yes, you, Dopey,” the man confirms.

I… I don’t… You can hear me?

“Yes, I can.”

That takes a minute to process. Dopey has never had a full conversation with anyone. He’s always been limited to hand gestures and the occasional nod, so the thought that Merlin can understand him is a bit awe-inspiring.

A grin breaks across Dopey’s face. This is amazing!

Merlin mirrors his smile. “No more amazing than your innate skill of observation. I’d be willing to bet you know more about the goings on in this kingdom than anyone, even the king himself.”

Dopey didn’t think his eyes could get any wider, but now they feel like they’re ready to burst from their sockets.

The wizard is right, though. He does know more than anyone. People tend to disregard his presence most of the time. It’s almost like his inability to speak renders him invisible, which has made it very simple for him to learn a great many things. Of course, his knowledge is all for naught since he can’t communicate it, but…

“You can now,” the wizard says.

Right. Wow.

Dopey bows his head, his brow wrinkling. Now, what’s the one thing I’ve always wanted to - Oh! He looks up to Merlin as the thought gushes out. Doc and Granny have been having an affair for almost five years now but they’ve kept it secret because, when we were young, the seven of us swore we would always put our brotherhood first which included never getting involved with a woman. Whew! It feels good to get that off my chest. But – you can’t tell anyone. Doc will have my head if you do.

Merlin laughs outright. “How long have you been holding that one in?”

A long time.

“Well, their secret is safe with me.”

Thanks.

“What about Killian? Do you know what he’s keeping from Emma?”

Sorry, no. I just know he’s keeping it from her. Something catches his eye and he points over the water. Oh, look! A baby dolphin! Isn’t she sweet! I wonder where her mother is…

“Dopey, focus,” Merlin says, bringing Dopey’s attention back to him. “Are you sure he hasn’t mentioned anything?”

Nope. But can’t you see it? I mean, you can see things, right? Things you weren’t actually there to witness?

“Yes, but not everything. I can’t pick and choose what to look at.”

Dopey eyes scan the water as he replies, Well, I’m not sure it makes a differ – Oh there she is! Look! He points over the rail to the mama dolphin who has just emerged next to her calf.

This time, Merlin spares a glance over the rail and a grin flitters across his face. “Yes, the mama won’t let her get too far. But back to Killian and Emma?”

Oh, right, well, I’m not sure it matters what the secret is. Only that he won’t tell her.

“Fair enough. But why wouldn’t he?”

Dopey thinks back to the first day Emma awoke and tells Merlin about the whole ‘pirate’ issue.

“Ah, I see,” Merlin replies.

And… Well…

“Well, what?”

Well, I’m not sure having the king here is helping matters.

“You’re right about that,” Merlin says. “We need to figure out a way to get him to go back to Camelot.”

Any ideas?

“Usually the simplest way is the best one.”

And that is?

“Tell him the truth,” Merlin replies.

Predictably, the king is none too happy about the suggestion.

“You can’t be serious!” David bursts.

“Unfortunately, I am, Your Majesty,” Merlin replies.

The king’s arms are crossed over his chest but he drops them to his sides. “I’m not leaving my daughter!”

“David – ” the wizard tries again.

“No. I’m not going back to Camelot without her!”

“But they need time alone.”

“They can have time alone.”

Dopey can’t stop the pfft that comes out of his mouth but when David turns his fury on him, he sidesteps to stand behind Merlin.

“Your Majesty, please,” Merlin says in a calm voice, “I know you can see Emma’s frustration growing. She and Killian need to talk. And it’s not the type of discussion either of them can have if they’re worried about you hovering around.”

"I don't 'hover'!"

Merlin lets his silence answer.

"Okay, fine. Maybe I hover a little. But if I didn't..."

"If you didn't, what?"

"Don't treat me like a fool, wizard. I know damn well they were sharing a cabin before I showed up."

"And I feel certain they'll share one after you leave."

David’s voice takes on a dangerous edge. “If that’s your way of trying to talk me into going, I can assure you it’s not helping.”

This from the man who snuck into Snow White’s room every night for a solid week before their wedding, Dopey thinks.

“Did he?” Merlin asks, turning to Dopey with interest, “Did he really?”

“’Did he really,’ what?” David asks.

Merlin smiles at Dopey. “You really are a font of information, aren’t you?”

Dopey shrugs and Merlin shakes his head in wonder.

“You and I are going to have to have a little sit down later to see what else you know.”

“What the hell are you two talking about?” David growls.

Merlin turns back to David but amusement still lights his face. “We were just discussing a castle wall you figured out how to scale in your youth.”

David’s eyes widen then land on Dopey.

“You knew about that?”

Dopey tilts his head and gives David a sardonic look.

“It doesn’t matter,” David declares, “This is a completely different situation. Snow and I were – ”

“True Loves?” Merlin interrupts.

David grits his teeth.

“Look, there’s more to this than just giving them time. Think of all the things you could do in Camelot. You could prepare for our arrival, find out if Arthur has found the other half of the dagger, coordinate with the other kingdoms. There’s not much time left and a great deal that still needs to be done.”

David remains steadfast, shaking his head. “Then, you go,” he says to Merlin, “Check in with Lance and come back and give us a full report.”

Merlin rolls his eyes. “You think if I return to Camelot without you, Lancelot will answer a single one of my questions? If you’ll recall, he wasn’t too keen on you joining me in the first place.”

“I can write him a letter. Explain everything.”

“And he’ll think I forged it or forced you to write it.”

“Then we’ll wait,” David asserts, “We’ll be there in two days, anyway.”

Merlin lets out a long-suffering sigh. “Okay,” he says, “You don’t want to leave your daughter. I understand that and I sympathize. But they’re further from lighting it today than they were the day after we escaped the Regina’s warship.”

“That can’t be…”

“It is,” Merlin insists. “If you don’t believe me, watch our next attempt. We’ll be trying again after dinner.”

“Fine.”

K&EK&EK&E

Three hours later, David has to admit Merlin might be right. He’s standing on deck, subtly observing the lesson.

Tension radiates from the couple standing at the bow. Killian stands behind Emma, his hand on her hip but keeping an obvious and awkward distance between their bodies.

As David watches, Emma releases a frustrated growl and opens her eyes.

Killian drops his hand from her waist. “Emma…” he says gently.

“If you tell me I need rest again… “

Killian’s mouth snaps shut.

Looking back to Merlin, Emma adds, “I think we’re done for the day.” Then stalks away and disappears into the ship.

Killian stands immobile as he watches her go, an indecipherable emotion crossing his face that causes David’s brow to wrinkle. It’s not anger. It’s not frustration. It’s something else… Defeat, maybe? No. Not with the way his eyes cloud and his jaw tightens.

Killian mumbles something to Merlin and goes off in the opposite direction Emma had taken, stopping at the rail to look out over the water. David stays where he is, apprehensive curiosity holding him frozen.

What the hell is going on?

He watches the pirate run his hand through his hair and lean over, bracing his elbows on the rail. His shoulders are slumped, his head bowed and realization slams into David’s chest.

Guilt.

David’s not sure how he knows, but that’s what the indecipherable emotion had been. Guilt.

Guilt and fear.

Over what? David wonders.

“He’s keeping something from her,” Merlin says in a low voice, having crossed the deck to stand beside him.

“Do you know what it is?” David asks.

“I have my suspicions.”

David continues to study the pirate’s defeated posture and things start falling into place. This is the reason for that look they shared when they read the prophecy, when they found out they were True Loves. Apparently, it was an issue before he even showed up on this ship, he’s just been too distracted by other things to see it until now.

“Something that happened while they were separated?”

“Yes.”

While they were separated… which the prophecy said they should never be.

“Now do you understand why you need to give them space?”

Resigned, David bows his head. “Yes,” he replies, “I guess I do.”

“Good,” Merlin says. “So, you’ll go back to Camelot?”

It’s a struggle to be sure. He doesn’t want to leave Emma. He’s just gotten her back and the thought of willing saying goodbye to her makes his stomach churn. It’s not just about the thought of her and Killian sharing a bed. She’s his little girl. His family.

He’s waited years… Years of solitude in Camelot. Years of being cooped up while others were out doing. And the past week, while he’s been on this ship, he finally feels like he’s contributing.

The end of this is near and his patience is thin. He’s always been a man of action. And the thought of going back to the virtual prison of Camelot, grates under his skin.

“Couldn’t I just stay out of their way?”

Merlin’s voice is sympathetic. “I don’t think that will work. They need privacy. The kind of privacy that excludes parental supervision.”

David’s thoughts take a dark turn at Merlin’s phrasing.

“Not like that,” Merlin adds quickly.

David huffs out a breath. “Fine. But I’m going to have a talk with a certain pirate before I go.”

K&EK&EK&E

After staring at the ocean for what feels like an eternity, Killian turns and heads below. Hesitating on the bottom step, his eyes dart toward his cabin where he knows Emma is but he goes in the opposite direction toward the galley.

Despite his somber mood, amusement tickles at his lips when he enters the room. He’s never seen the galley look so warm and inviting. Ruby has put her unique staple on it. The spices are lined up on the counter in pristine order, a plate of cookies made to look like different animals sits on the table, and where on earth she managed to find a cloth to cover the scarred wood, he’ll never know, but the room looks more suited to royalty than a rowdy pirate crew. Smiling, he chooses a cookie that was obviously made by Grace, a line of sugar used to draw what would usually be a menacing tiger’s snarl now a happy grin.

Rolling his shoulders, he pops the cookie into his mouth and sits down to reach for the scroll still sitting in the middle of the table. He’s read it enough times over the past few days that he could recite it by memory, but he opens it anyway.

He’d been right. It will be Emma against Regina – every one of his greatest fears confirmed – the now certain fate that the woman he loves is the only hope for the realm.

His True Love.

She’s his True Love.

It’s the most powerful magic of all. Or at least it’s supposed to be. And yet, when they faced Regina it wasn’t enough. And that’s his fault…

Stuffing another cookie in his mouth, he leans back and stares at the ceiling.

“Do you have a minute?”

Killian’s eyes swing to the door to find King David on the threshold.

Standing, he nods and David enters the room.

“Please sit.” David says, crossing to take the empty chair on the opposite side of the table.

David leans forward to study the plate of cookies, taking his time making his choice.

He holds one up. “What is this one supposed to be, do you think?”

It’s an odd opening for the king. David is usually the type to get right to the point but for whatever reason, he’s taking his time today.

Killian examines the cookie. “My guess would be a dragon.”

David nods, still considering the cookie. “You may be right.”

At long last, he breaks a piece off and pops it into his mouth, then he sits back in his chair, eyeing Killian while he chews.

“I’m going back to Camelot tonight.”

It’s the last thing Killian expected to hear and his mouth drops open.

“I don’t really want to leave Emma, but it would be better for me to return ahead of the rest of you so that we can prepare for your arrival.”

He pushes a map across the table and Killian sees an ‘X’ that has been added since the last time they spoke.

“This is where I want you to dock. It’s remote but the cliffs are easily defended and the cove will provide privacy for us.”

Killian looks more closely at the map, examining the area to see if he can identify any potential danger.

The king drums his fingers on the table while he waits, and after a few minutes of study, Killian drops the map.

“It’s an excellent choice, Your Majesty.”

David doesn’t respond, he just keeps drumming his fingers, his eyes narrowed and on Killian’s face.

After a few tense moments, during which Killian has to resist the urge to squirm, David finally speaks. “Are you still planning to marry my daughter, Captain?”

Killian can feel his eyes widen, but before he can reply, the king continues.

“Because your engagement is still official to my mind.”

“I… well… I hadn’t really…”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it,” David says with a touch of derision.

“I – I mean, we – we haven’t really discussed…”

“You love her,” David says, reaching for the prophecy. “You can’t say you don’t. The proof is right here.”

“It’s not a question of love. It’s…”

“It’s what, exactly?”

It’s a question of whether she’ll still want me when this is over, Killian thinks. But he can’t say that, so instead he bites at his lip and lowers his gaze to his lap, idly twirling the ring on his thumb.

Several heartbeats pass in silence before the king speaks again.

“You want to marry her, don’t you?”

“Of course, I do,” he replies instantly, “But…”

“But, what?”

Sucking in a harsh breath, he regards his king. David isn’t going to let this go. And Killian can’t blame him. The king isn’t a fool and he’s surely aware that Emma and he have already… consummated their relationship. But the thought of voicing the doubts plaguing him makes his stomach churn.

His silence prompts David to sit back in his chair and let out a small sigh.

“I’ve heard a lot of stories about you, you know. Stories of the ruthless pirate, Captain Hook. Some were brutal, some were impressive, and some were simply outlandish. I imagine the truth lies somewhere in the middle.”

It’s doesn’t surprise Killian that David has honed in on the real issue. He’s intuitive and smart and misses very little.

“I’m not asking what you did,” the king continues, “but you need to talk to Emma about it. If you’re afraid she won’t understand – ”

“That’s not what I’m afraid of,” Killian interrupts, but then sucks in a deep breath. “No, that’s a lie. I am afraid she won’t understand. But that’s not… all. It’s…” He picks the scroll up and holds it out. “I love her. She loves me. Like you said, the proof is right here but…”

“But what?” David prompts.

“What if that’s not enough?”

“How do you mean?”

“Merlin told us that our magic is light magic. Its power is fueled by good. So what if I tell her and our magic still isn’t powerful enough? What if that power has been diminished because I’m… dark?”

“But you’re not. Not anymore.”

“Maybe. But I lived in darkness for a long time. I’ve done some terrible things. And I do regret some of them. But others I don’t.”

David regards him in silence for a long moment before speaking. “Everything you did – every choice you made – brought you here. It brought you back to my daughter.”

“Yes. It did. But you don’t understand. That darkness, it’s… it’s still there. I can feel it inside me. So if I tell her. And if she forgives me… What if that’s not enough?”

“You’ll never know until you try.” The soft feminine voice has both of their heads swinging toward the threshold where Emma is standing, silently watching them.

Both he and David freeze, but the king recovers quickly.

“I’d say that’s my cue,” he says, standing and crossing to his daughter. “I’ll see you in a few days, pumpkin.”

“A few days?” she asks.

“Yes, I’m going back to Camelot tonight. Merlin is taking me. I’ll ensure everything is ready for your arrival.”

“But I don’t want you to – ”

“Merlin – and Dopey – think it’s better this way, and as much as I don’t want to agree with them, I do.”

Emma’s smile is a bit sheepish but she nods her head.

The two embrace before David crosses back to Killian and extends his hand. Killian takes it and nearly winces at the strength of the king’s grip.

“You will marry her,” he says in a voice low enough that Emma won’t hear. “Do you understand me, pirate?”

When Killian nods his agreement, David releases his hand and Killian immediately shakes it out to allow the blood to flow again.

“Good,” David says, then raises his voice back to a normal level. “I’ll see you both in Camelot.”

K&EK&EK&E

Regina is sitting in her storeroom, pouring over her books when the door swings open. She snaps her head up in annoyance at the interruption but before she can react, Claude steps in, his pace urgent.

“Sorry to interrupt, Your Majesty, but there’s someone here to see you.”

“Who?”

“I think it’s better if you see for yourself, my queen.”

Regina’s brow wrinkles. It’s not like Claude to speak in riddles so whoever it is must have substantially flustered him. With a long-suffering sigh, she lays the book down and stands.

Claude follows her out and half-way down the corridor motions to four other knights to flank her. His concern piques her curiosity. It’s not usual for her to have bodyguards. She doesn’t really need them and Claude knows that and yet, for some reason, today he feels she does.

Who on earth would warrant such a display?

The doors in front of her swing open and she stutters to a halt, her eyes widening.

Well, that answers that question.

Of all the people in the world, this would have been one of the last people she would have expected to show up on her doorstep.

Her guest turns, eyes meeting hers. They size each other up for a heartbeat then her guest inclines their head with a quirk of a smile, “Your Majesty.”

Regina raises a brow. “What do you want?” she asks, refusing to deal with pleasantries.

Their smile spreads into a full-fledged grin. “A great many things. But let’s start with what I can offer.”

K&EK&EK&E

Emma follows behind Killian as he leads her to his quarters. He hasn’t said a word since her father left them in the galley and his shoulders are stiff and set.

He holds the door open and lets her proceed him into the room. Once she reaches the center she turns to see him leaning against the now closed door, watching her.

A distant ‘whooshing’ sound has her glancing to the deck above them, and she tries to smile.

“Alone at last,” she comments in an attempt to lighten the mood.

But Killian doesn’t smile, his expression doesn’t change at all.

“I think, perhaps, you should sit down, love.”

His voice is flat but not harsh and she complies, taking a seat at the table and folding her hands.

Crossing to his desk, he pulls out a bottle of rum and two glasses. He pours both, then drinks one and refills it before crossing back to the table to hand one to her. She stays silent, worried that any word from her would only make his anxiety worse, so she simply throws her head back and downs the contents of her glass, laying it gently on the table when she’s done. He’s already turned away again, studying the amber liquid in his own glass as he swirls it around, then with a long exhale, he lifts the glass to his lips and swallows.

Keeping his eyes on the empty glass, he begins, his words slow and controlled, “The news came of your death while we were still in the Evil Queen’s dungeon. The guards celebrated it, cheering in the corridors and rattling their swords along the bars – taking immense pleasure in taunting all of us. Our kingdom was lost. Our beloved queen was cursed, our brave king on the run and our beautiful princess dead and…”

He trails off, dropping his chin to his chest and squeezing his eyes shut as though trying to fend off the pain rising in him. After taking a moment to gather himself, he lifts his head, his gaze unfocused somewhere on the wall in front of him.

“I nearly died in that cell. My wrist was infected and I was burning with fever, and losing you took away all the will I had left to live. But I hallucinated, you see…. vivid hallucinations of you galloping across an open field of flowers, of walking through the woods, and I… I just…” his voice starts to rise, “I thought I’d know it if you were gone. I thought I’d feel it and I… I didn’t.”

He enunciates the ‘t’ on the last word, practically spitting it out, then takes a deep breath.

“After we escaped, I convinced Jeff to help me search for you. Liam had told both he and Graham about an inn where we were supposed to meet you and he made them swear that if anything happened to him, they’d try to get me there. So that’s where we went. The innkeeper denied having ever seen you but I didn’t believe him. He’d obviously been paid off to keep your whereabouts a secret, so we searched the area, looking for any clue and… and that’s where we found August.”

His voice breaks and he stops again to take several deep breaths.

“I knew August would protect you with his life and it seemed that, if he were dead, there was no hope… But even after that, I kept hoping. I didn’t tell Jeff. He always thought it was a slim chance and finding August was enough to convince him. And since there was no trail to follow, we couldn’t continue the search anyway but… But I held onto that hope. I lived off that hope until… Until I found something that, in my mind at least, proved you were gone.”

His eyes flick to the chest and Emma has to fight the urge to stand and go to him.

He angles his body away from her, his voice rough and dripping with self-loathing when he tells her what he did. He tells her about the ship they came across. He tells her how he’d felt when he found the proof of her death. He tells her how he’d wanted to die himself. He tells her about the venom that had run through his veins when he’d stood at the bow and given the order to sink the ship, the need to make someone pay for stealing his life. He even tells her about the satisfaction he’d felt when the ship disappeared beneath the waves…

Then he tells her about the fall out. He tells her about the instant he’d realized what he’d done and the grief that rained down on him.

Emma almost wishes he’d stop speaking, not because she doesn’t want to hear anymore, but because she can see how much it hurts him, how badly he’s tortured himself over this. He made a terrible mistake, a mistake that, yes, was horrendous, but it was a mistake.

Tears stream down his cheeks, and hers, too, the image of him blurring as the words drip like acid from his tongue. “They didn’t deserve to die,” he says fervently, finally swinging his eyes to hers, “They were simple tradesmen who happened upon something of value. They had no idea what they had. They had no idea it was ever yours. They were innocent men trying to provide for their families and I murdered them. And for what? Vengeance? They hadn’t done anything wrong!”

The blue of his eyes bore into hers like he’s trying to convince her to hate him as much as he hates himself and her stomach drops to the floor. She starts to rise but the step back he takes stops her.

“But it didn’t matter to me who they were,” he goes on with venom in his voice, “They did business with Regina and that was enough to justify it in my mind. I made widows and orphans out of their wives and children – wives and children who, to this day, don’t know what happened to them because I couldn’t see past the hatred in my heart!”

He stops there, his confession complete, viciously swiping at the tears on his cheeks, like he realizes he doesn’t even deserve to mourn those men. Shaking his head, he sniffles and crosses the room to stand in front of the chest.

When he speaks again, his voice is clogged but his tone is calm and detached. “Every time I’d find something of yours or your family’s, I’d put it in here. Other than a few things of Liam’s, everything in here belongs to you.”

Slowly, he lifts the chest and carries it to the table, setting it gently down right in front of her without meeting her eyes. The click his hook makes when he removes it echoes through the quiet room before he lays it on top of the chest. Instinctively, she covers his hand with hers before he can draw it back and he sucks in a breath, his fingers contracting around hers. They stay like that for several seconds while he watches his thumb traces circles on the back of her hand but then he shakes his head and steps away, pulling his hand from hers.

The message is clear: This isn’t over yet. It’s not over until she sees what’s in the chest. But more than that, he’s not ready to accept her forgiveness no matter how badly she wants to give it. He doesn’t trust yet that this isn’t a snap judgment. He wants her to take some time alone to process everything he’s said.

He looks raw and broken when he meets her eyes one last time. Then, without another word, he turns and walks out of the room.

She keeps her eyes on the closed door, almost tempted to chase after him without even looking in the box. She even takes a step in that direction but stops herself. Because he’s right. She needs to see what’s in there. She needs some time to gather herself – not because there’s a chance she’ll change her mind but because she needs to take a minute to let everything sink in.

With shaky hands, she reaches for the key, twisting it in the lock until it clicks. Slowly, she lifts the lid and her eyes widen, amazed at the number of treasures he’s found. Her father’s crown is on top, her mother’s rubies, her pearl necklace, her mother’s ring… She looks through every piece, memory after memory blooming with each new item but then… Then she sees what he found and her eyes gloss over, her heart contracting.

Her jade necklace. The necklace she was wearing the night they were separated.

With slow movements, she reaches in and curls her fingers around the jewels. Tears stream down her cheeks and she cradles them to her chest, misery crawling up her throat until she sinks into the chair and sobs.

K&EK&EK&E

The night is starless and still as he stands at the helm and surveys the ocean. There’s nothing, absolutely nothing, to see but pitch black in every direction; there aren’t even any waves being illuminated by the Jolly’s lanterns, the calm eerie and desolate.

He doesn’t hear her approach, which is surprising given the utter silence of the night, and he startles when a plank only a few feet behind him creaks.

Turning to face her, he finds her cheeks dry, but her red-rimmed eyes tell him they haven’t been dry long. His own eyes are gritty and burning and it takes a great deal of concentration to keep them from filling. She stands speechless for a moment, the diamonds and jades on the necklace in her hand glittering even in the near black night.

At long last, she looks down to the necklace, fingering at the jewels. “I had to sell them to pay for a new roof for The Gold Mine,” she starts, “Leroy wanted to sell it because we couldn’t afford the wood, so I offered to sell these to make up the difference. I didn’t want to move again. I’d finally found a place where I could have a little peace and the thought of giving that up was agonizing to me.”

She sniffles lightly, finally looking up to him and he’s surprised to see how tortured her expression is.

“Do you know what brought me that peace?” she asks quietly and he shakes his head, his lungs burning from his attempt to hold the tears at bay. “Naval ships used to dock there and, occasionally, the officers would come in and it…” she pauses to swallow and swipe at a tear that escapes, “It was the only thing I had left of you. The only connection I could find and… And I would have done anything to keep it. This necklace… It meant nothing to me but… Being near the sea… Being near anything that kept you close to me… I – ”

She cuts off and turns away, struggling to find words once again. He aches to hold her, so much so that his arm twitches at his side, but he stays where he is, knowing there’s more she wants to say.

“It never occurred to me that you might still be alive. Graham told me he saw you die and I had no reason not to believe him. I never had any hope, so I don’t know what it must have been like to have it crushed. But I do remember what it felt like when Graham told me you were dead… the way every muscle in my body turned to stone, the way my lungs squeezed into an icy cold weight that pressed on my heart…”

She pauses for several more deep breaths and then her demeanor changes, her shoulders straightening and her head lifting as she looks out at the blackness of the night. When she speaks again, he’s surprised by the malice in her words. “The next night, black knights caught up with us on the road and I was… I was glad to see them. I wanted them to catch us. I wanted an excuse to draw my sword. And I wanted them dead. I charged into them before August could stop me and... and…”

She shakes her head to cover the crack in her voice, “He chased after me. He was standing right next to me when he died. And I can’t help but wonder… If I’d been more retrained… If I’d waited like I should have but…” She clears her throat and tightens her hands into fists. “But I was so angry that I… I couldn’t stop. I wouldn’t stop until either they were all dead or I was. I can still remember that rage racing through my bloodstream. I was consumed by it. I enjoyed killing them. Every single one that fell made satisfaction rise up in my chest, every drop of blood was gratifying to watch as it spilled to the earth.”

Killian’s feet feel rooted to the ground, his heart hammering to the point of pain as her confession settles cold and hard in his stomach.

Turning only far enough to see him out of the corner of her eye, she takes a deep breath. “I know it’s not the same as what happened to you. But my point is, I know how what it feels like when fury blocks out everything else and twists you into another person for a time. I remember it with perfect clarity.”

The last words come out as nearly a whisper and he forces his feet to work, crossing to her and spinning her into his arms. Cupping her chin, he lifts her eyes to his, smoothing his thumb over her temple as he takes in the dark emerald.

She does understand. She does remember. And she’s just as tortured and repentant for her mistake as he is.

His heart aches for both of them, but there’s a cleansing quality underneath it that surprises him, realizing this is something they’d both been in need of. They’d both needed to make these confessions. And now that they have, they can bear the burden of them together. It’s an astoundingly profound feeling, this feeling of being completely exposed, of breaking down the remainder of the walls that had been between them.

They stand silently for some time, slowly allowing the guilt and sadness to release itself, both seemingly content to simply hold the other. A breeze begins to blow, soft and warm, and Killian feels a sudden peace settle into his heart. He hears Emma release a long sigh and snuggles further into his chest.

He lifts her chin to find her eyes soft and smoky and he smiles.

“I love you, Emma,” he whispers.

Her chest expands against his on a sharp breath.

“I love you, too.”

The moment she says it, he feels an overpowering crackle of magic rush through him but he ignores it in favor of lowering his lips to hers. They meet softly, light grazes filled with reverence and love while the world around them brightens. He doesn’t notice at first and she doesn’t either, too distracted by the shimmering peace that settles more firmly with each brush of lips, too caught up in the relief and joy of finally having no barriers left between them. Eventually, though, the light amplifies so much that it can’t be ignored and they turn in unison to see the Spark of Prometheus burning brightly in its case.

#changing tides #cs ff #captain swan #captain swan ff #cs au ff

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