#((guess who my favorite normal crow is /silly))

[discourse-slenderman]

Greetings, I Am The Archivist.

I Come To Request Information For The Purpose Of Collection And Archival Of Slendlr And Adjacent. Would You Be So Kind As To Help Me Upon my Quest of Knowledge?

If So, Please Answer The Following Questions Below.

If You Do not Have An Answer to Questions Or Wish Not To Answer Some, Feel Free To Skip them. Some Questions May not Be Applicable To All Characters.

Additionally, All Questions Are Strictly For The Slendlr Character(S) Listed Here: Discourse And Proxies

And May be Answered In Character Or By The Blog Moderator(S) Out Of Character And Are Not Asking For This Information Of The Moderator Themselves.

Questions

Character's Name/Aliases:

Nicknames (If Any, And By Who If Specific.):

Gender And Pronouns:

Orientation (If applicable.):

Are They A Slenderman (Regardless Of Gender), Slenderfolk, Slenderbeing Or Adjacent/Other/NA:

Status (Alive, Undead, A clone, Etc.):

Relationships (Romantic or Queerplatonic If Applicable):

Familial Relationships: (If Applicable):

Additional Relationships, Please Specify (Ex. Friends, Allies, Enemies):

Are They 'Related To/Based On' Any Specific Animal/Creature/Plant/Etc (Real Or Fantasy If Applicable):

The Character's Gimmick Beyond Being A Slender (If Applicable):

Is The Character And Adjacent Blog A Lore Heavy Blog:

Any Fun Facts You Think Are Important To Note:

Is There An Image/Drawing You Are Ok with The Archivist Using As A Visual Reference Of the Character Alongside The Written Archived Information Provided?

Final Question. If You Are Not Having A Good Day, The Archivist Hopes It Will Get Better.

Thank You For Your Time And For Answering What Questions You Felt Comfortable Providing Answers For. Have A Good Day.

,Sincerely The Archivist.

(( 1. Character names/aliases: Discourse/Discourse Slender(“man”) —they also have a deadname but I don’t know if this applies to that? <:D

2. Nicknames: disco(anon), disco birdy(anon), dandelion/dandie(flirtatious), that-fucking-bird-that-I-hate(mod), others I can’t remember. and every insult in existence /silly

3. Gender and pronouns: ..shrug.. and any/all! (note: the pronouns most frequently used by them are they/them)

4. Orientation: Skipping because mod genuinely doesn’t know.. I am not the most knowledgeable with terms..

5. Are they a slenderfolk: Yeah they’re a slender :]

6. Status: Alive as of now <33

7. Relationships: in a romantic relationship with Flirtatious-slenderman, and Absurdly-Tall-Flirty to an extent

8. Familial relationships: They have a familial relationship with their proxies/crows.

9. Additional relationships: they are close friends with Pink-slender, friends to an extent with Eviler, possible acquaintances with Icelandic-slenderwoman, petty rivals with LearningFrench-slenderman, and the relationship regarding Hero is complicated, though they’ve made acquaintances with the alternative timeline hero recently.

10. Are they related to any specific creature: They’re a slenderfolk-animal hybrid, primarily mixed with a crow (and also with various traits inspired by other different animals) (the crow species of which they are based off of is the American crow)

11: Character’s gimmick beyond being a slender: think of a loud commentary-drama YouTuber mixed with a professional news reporter also mixed with a (questionably sane) theorist

Collect their discourse

12. Lore blog/character?: They are/the blog is a mix of lore and silly

13. Fun facts:

• They have a certain tattoo somewhere on them now(via anon magic)

•they were originally 5’4ft but had an inch permanently taken(anon magic) so now they’re 5’3ft

•they are obsessed with shiny objects/trinkets and are easily distracted by them. They have a tendency to steal shiny things. They enjoy having shiny glitter on everything.

•their blood can be poisonous if consumed in large quantities (say, like if you drank all the blood in their arm)

•they like Garfield The Cat

•they like Goldfish crackers; their favorite flavor being the flavor-blasted kind

•Discourse has taught their self the Nixon Dimension language, and has multiple notebooks dedicated to it

•their tentacle microphones act as lie detectors when spoken into

•they choose to eat physical food for fun, but they don’t really need to, since their true diet is other’s emotions. Each emotion tastes different to them; their favorite being anger

•they have a non-attached glittery microphone they carry around with them

• their color symbolism is orange

I also have like a GAJILLION more fun facts with them honestly

Visual references!!:

And would you like anything on their variant(s) as well? /nf :]

{Moving on to Their Crows/Proxies:}

( Discourse’s murder is quite large; only a select few have been named. )

1. (Mentioned) Names: Pasta, Bloodshot, Tubberware

2. “Nicknames”: The/Discourse’s Murder(generally), My Proxies/Crows (Discourse), Mama Pasta (mod referring to Pasta specifically )

3. Gender and pronouns: the crows don’t really have a set concept of gender, per se, but they do have pronouns they’re referred to as!

Pasta: She/Her

Bloodshot: It/Its

Tubberware: He/Him/Tey/Te

4. Are they slender: other (Crows)

5. Status: all alive

6. Relationships: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

7. Familial Relationships: Eachother/the rest of the murder, Discourse

8. Additional Relationships: Some of the murder were fond of the Hero from this dimension (and some were not), and most of the crows like Flirtatious. (Note: In general, the crows are quite docile or neutral, unless prompted otherwise. Or unless it’s Bloodshot.)

9. Creature?: crows

10. Lore?: There’s some lore (seeing at they are lore in of themselves), but the murder is very sillayyy

11. Fun facts:

•There are probably atleast 50 of them.

•There have been about 3 generations of the crow family so far, all staying with Discourse.

•All of the crows have extended lifetimes due to Discourse’s presence.

•The crows are the only birds not automatically turned aggressive from Discourse’s influence/existence.

•Discourse has every crow’s needs, likes, personalities, and overall everything memorized.

•They all wear personalized bandanas and badges made by Discourse.

•Some of them act as messengers for Discourse.

12. Specific Funfacts:

•Pasta is very motherly and friendly; Her bandana has a gingham-yellow and white pattern, and her badge says her name with “food critic” written underneath it! She is also one of the messenger crows. She is the most articulative crow, knowing more words than the rest, and is the only one who knows how to write sentences, let alone words. This is due to Discourse teaching her.

•Tubberware is a bit clumsy.. but tey mean well! Tey have a green, blue and white gingham-bandana, and their badge says their name with “Motivator” underneath it! Tey can’t write due to tem constantly dropping the pencil. Tey also have a tendency to nest in cabinets and- you guessed it- tubberware dishes!

•Bloodshot is a very.. energetic nestling. It has a red and black fire-patterned bandana; It has no badge as of now. It loves shiny knives and weapons. It is also the most likely to peck your eyes out, since it’s verryyyy territorial. It is also easily distracted. And it keeps getting into the illegal fireworks

(There are no available visuals of any of the crows yet, not even of the named ones)

{ Important note: Any info here may be subject to change! }

And last but not least of all, thank you!! I hope you have a nice day/evening/night! :D

-the mod 💙))

[actualbird]

may i raise: artem mr 99% win rate senior attorney at 28 or whatever wing, driven to full blown laughter in the nxx headquarters. the reason: some dumb joke luke says that just so happens to cater to artem's Oddly Specific Sense of Humor

I LOVE THIS ASK SO MUCH BECAUSE I LOVE HUMOR. and humor theory, humor studies, linguistics of humor, senses of humor, just, oh man, you hit something here, anon. im kind of sorry for what this answer is going to be because i have thoughts and by god am i going to tell you all of them

i like to think a weird little thing happens, among the NXX Investigation Team: marius wants to know what exactly can make the other members of the team lose their fucking marbles.

mc was his first target and she was very easy to crack. she likes videos of animals doing cute yet silly things and was brought to wheezing laughter at a video of a golden retriever valiantly trying so hard to catch food in his mouth but missing every single time. with further prodding, marius also finds out shes into memes and jokes from medias shes familiar with.

vyn was next and he took a bit of thinking, from marius. marius needed to get vyn right on the first try because he's sure that if he fails once, vyn will give him THE most smarmy unimpressed expression ever and marius will have to be physically held back from punching him in the face. so he thinks about vyn's personality and background, thinks about maybe psychology jokes, but then marius comes to a conclusion that he believes enough to hazard a try. one day, when he and vyn are waiting in the nxx meeting room, marius sends him a tweet. with bated breath, he watches vyn notice it, open it, and then emit just the softest little "hehehe"

which, from vyn, is honestly as boisterous as his laughter is ever going to get.

the cause of the laughter? that video of a dude being pushed from a platform into the dark abyss, his scream echoing, from the Perfectly Cut Screams twitter.

because vyn is like, insane.

marius decides to leave artem for last (because duhhh marius has barely seen artem smile, is he even capable of laughter?? artem is going to be marius' Boss Level, he goes last) so next on the laugh train is luke.

but luke has figured out that marius is on a mission and luke, an arrogant shithead in his own way, refuses to let marius break him.

marius wants to STRANGLE LUKE. marius has sent him memes of olde, memes of new, comedy sketches, tiktok compilations, vine compilations, and luke does not laugh. marius is damn sure he would have, at some of those things, but luke is Refusing To Laugh and marius is so close to challenging him to like, a duel (shut up, he doesnt know okay, hes frustrated and he doesnt know how to express that like a normal person, get off his back) or something.

marius gets so desperate that he even resorts to what he thinks is the most groan-worthy form of humor: puns

very specific puns, because today marius is testing his theory that maybe luke's nerditude will betray him. puns about engineering and natural science, theyre all TERRIBLE but marius continues because he WILL WIN, GODDAMNIT and

theyre outside of the courthouse, waiting for mc to finish up (she just had a trial and she was awesome, as per usual, queen shit) so marius, vyn, luke, and artem are idling outside, and while waiting. marius is telling puns to luke. aggressively.

"you can give up, you know," luke smiles sweetly. "no shame in that."

"fuck you, next pun," marius scowls. "a raven has 17 primary wing feathers. these feathers are called pinions. and the crow only has 16 of those feathers. so the difference between a crow and a raven is..." marius winces. "...only a matter of a pinion."

"okay," luke says, and marius wants to punch him sooooo baaaad. "not only does that pun suck but it's also just. objectively wrong. both crows and ravens only have 10 primaries---"

"shut the hell up, birdbrain."

"---among those 10 primaries there a few that are longer and more distinct than the others, kind of looking like fingers, so to speak. crows have 5 evident finger feathers---"

"oh my god"

"---wheareas ravens only have 4. so i guess with some editing, the joke could still work. a more sound version though would be to compare crows and song sparrows, which do have the correct difference in primaries and---"

marius is about to flick luke in the forehead, but hes stopped by the strangest sound.

the sound of somebody having an asthma attack but like, through a kazoo or something.

marius, luke, and vyn turn to where artem is and he is, inexplicably, losing his shit. he continues to lose his shit actually for like 30 whole more seconds before he calms down enough to look up at everybody who is in turn looking at him like he's grown a second head.

"what?" artem says, puzzled.

"why the fuck were you laughing?" marius asks.

"because it was...funny," artem says as if this is obvious when it is NOT and then everybody in that moment realizes

that what makes artem laugh seems to be the act of over explaining jokes itself.

(and before anybody sends a follow up ask, marius' favorite joke is bofa.

artem scrunches his eyebrows. "what is bofa?"

marius grins, absolutely fucking DELIGHTED.)

[queen-scribbles]

Jinx!

Remember when I talked about the idea of Janine and Felix jinxing each other when they go to propose at the same time? Yeah, what better day to share the result with the world than Felix’s birthday :D

------------

Janine didn’t think she’d ever seen Felix voluntarily sit still this long in all the time she’d known him. If he were human she’d be wondering if he’d fallen asleep. And they weren’t even watching a movie or anything.

That had been the plan when Nate shooed them out of the kitchen, but then they’d plunked down on Felix’s bed all cuddled up and neither could be arsed to find the remote. This was good, too. And surprised as she was at him not turning into a fidgety mess after two minutes, she was enjoying it too much to tease. They so rarely got to just be, without peril and running around and other stuff. This was nice.

“I like having you all to myself,” she commented, snuggling closer.

Felix didn’t reply, and Janine arched a brow. Maybe he had actually fallen asleep.

“Babe.” She poked him in the ribs and he yelped as he twitched away. “Ah, you are awake.”

“Yeah, sorry, I was thinking. About how amazing you are,” he added before she could ask, tone genuine and mischief in his eyes.

Janine giggled. Anyone else, she’d think they were buttering her up with a line like that out of the blue, but not him. “Well, don’t let me distract you.”

Felix grinned at her. “By all means, babe, distract away.”

“In that case...” Janine rolled from her position tucked under his arm to straddle his lap, her skirt pooling over his legs and her arms loosely around his neck. “Care to stroke my ego a little and share what makes me amazing?”

“Aside from everything?” Felix snorted, but the sincerity in his eyes belied the teasing tone. “Your smile, your laugh, the way you wanna help people...” his arms slid around her waist, “...your happiness, you have a way with words that could charm a banshee out of a snit” --he stole a kiss-- “But I’m glad you decided I was a better use of your talents.” Another kiss, slightly longer. “What else.... that little wiggly-bounce you do when you’re excited. And you have great taste in men-”

She kissed him, hands braced against the wall, then laughed, giddy, breathless, overwhelmed he’d reeled that off so quickly. “That’s quite a list.”

“Didn’t get to my favorite one yet,” Felix murmured, breath warm against her cheek. “You stuck around.”

“Felix...” She kissed him again, one hand curving the back of his neck and her thumb brushing over the hair at his nape. “I’m not going anywhere,” she promised softly, resting her forehead against his. “I like the rest of the team too much, and I love you.”

His breath caught, pulse jumping against her fingertips. “I love you, too.”

She loved when he said it like that; like it was a secret just for them, a treasure too precious by half, a truth that couldn’t be contained in words. It made her heart swell, made her want to throw caution to the wind, shout from the roof of the warehouse, something to tell him and the world how much he meant to her.

There was something. It was the very definition of throwing caution to the wind, of impulsivity, but there wasn’t anything wrong with that. “Felix-”

“Janine-”

“Will you marry me?” One question fell from two pairs of lips in the same moment, and all other emotions--surprise, elation, wild excitement--were momentarily eclipsed by playground rules from when she was six, and Janine whooped, “Jinx!”

At the same moment as Felix.

Half a second later, realization clawed out from under schoolgirl habit and grey eyes met gold, both wide with glee and horror in equal measure.

Shit. Janine clapped  hand over her mouth to hold back a giggle. What do we do?! she tried to ask with just her eyes. If vampires, werewolves, and various other supernatural forces were real, no way in hell was she messing with a jinx. It might actually give her bad luck.

Felix looked just as flummoxed--and amused--as she felt. He shrugged and bit his lip. Great.

Janine’s phone chimed as she tried to work out the easiest way to fix this  When she wiggled it out of her pocket, there was a text from Tina. Need you at the station. Should be quick 🤞. She wrinkled her nose and turned the phone to show Felix the text.

He nodded, eyes still laughing, and tugged her in for one more quick kiss before she climbed off the bed and hunted down her flats.

This might be a good thing, she mused as she headed for her car. If Tina greeted her by name it would break the jinx, she could handle this ‘quick’ problem, and come back to say ‘Yes, Felix’ and unjinx him if he still needed it. Yeah, this was good. 

---

Tina greeted her with an apologetic smile. “Hey. sorry to bother you on your day off, but the Captain decided these need to go to the big city” --she jostled the case files in her arms-- “and I need the detective’s signature.”

Janine nodded, fighting down  glower that Tina hadn’t used her name(but of course today would fall in the handful of occasions that happened). She got a pen from her desk and spread the files out to start signing off. There were only five, and Tina kept up a stream of chatter about her post-shift plans--never once saying Janine in the whole ramble. It was as she finished checking and signed the last file Tina poked her in the shoulder.

“Hey. You’re being awful quiet,” she pointed out, brow furrowed. “Are you mad at me?”

Janine shook her head..

Tina’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Just not feeling chatty today?”

Janine wrinkled her nose and shrugged, and Tina’s eyes lit up.

“Oh, my god, you got jinxed, didn’t you?!” she crowed as she collected the files.

Janine huffed grumpily and raked back hair that had fallen from her bun.

Tina grinned. “Who got you?”

Janine curved her hands to form a heart against her chest and fluttered her eyelashes.

“Felix?!” Tina’s grin went wider and decidedly mischievous “So I guess now you need to be unjinxed, huh?”

Janine nodded, pressing her palms together in a pleading gesture.

Tina tapped one finger against her chin and smirked. “Now, let’s see, what do I want in return for this favor....? Any ideas, J- oh, right, I’m on my own for this one.”

Janine pouted and lightly whacked her friend’s shoulder in protest. That’s not fair!

“I’d play nice if I were you, my friend,” Tina teased, wagging a finger. “Give me another second to think.”

Janine managed to control herself while Tina stroked her chin in exaggerated thought, but internally she was making strangling motions.

“I know,” Tina finally said with a giggle. “How’s a baker’s dozen pastries from Haley’s sound? Fair trade?”

You and your sweet tooth. Janine bit back a smile as she nodded. If that’s what it takes, fine.

“Promise?”

She rolled her eyes and made a heart-crossing gesture. Best I can do.

Tina grinned. “You’re the best, Janine.”

“No, you are,” Janine said fervently, wrapping her in a quick, tight hug. “I’ll get you the pastries tomorrow when they’re fresh, right now I have to go.” She darted for the door. “Thanks, Tina!”

“You’re making me think I should have aimed higher!” Tina hollered after her. “Like rights on being your bloody maid of honor or something!” 

Janine snorted a laugh at the irony but didn’t even slow down.  She could explain later.

----

Felix had never been good at patience, but this was even worse than usual. He paced his room with bouncing steps for all of thirty seconds before even that wasn’t enough and he headed out to find... someone.

Mason was on patrol, Rebecca had been called to some meeting.... Maybe if he tried to sneak back into the kitchen he could get Nate to scold him and that would do the trick.

But Nate wasn’t in the kitchen anymore when Felix got there. His face crinkled in disappointment and he lightly kicked the bottom edge of the counter.

He needed to be unjinxed by the time Janine got back. Even if this quick problem stayed quick to fix, he didn’t want to wait. He wanted to be able say ‘Yes, absolutely, just try to stop me!’ as soon as she walked in.

Of course, the fact they’d both asked was sort of a yes on its own, wasn’t it? Felix eyed the fresh tray of cookies sitting atop the stove and shook his head. Didn’t matter. He wanted to actually say it.

Denied freedom via scolding, Felix wandered back out of the kitchen in search of Nate or Adam or somebody. The few agents he passed in his quest nodded politely but all looked too preoccupied to stop and help him. Somewhere in his random meanderings, he started picking up the sound of rhythmic blows and he grinned. Shoulda know Adam would be working out. His route became much more deliberate as he started making his way to the training room.

Adam was clearly focused--though no doubt noticed he had company--so Felix waited by one of the benches for a... safer feeling moment to finagle what he needed out of the team leader. It didn’t take long--though it felt like an eternity to Felix--for Adam to finish the series of moves he’d been... rehearsing? Practicing? Whatever you’d call it, he’d actually left the practice dummy in one piece this time. Normally Felix would jokingly applaud his restraint just to get an eyeroll. 

“Did you need something?” Adam asked without turning around. He wasn’t even breathing hard.

Felix wrinkled his nose and hunched his shoulders. This isn’t gonna work unless you look at me, he grumbled silently.

Adam turned with a frown creasing his brow. “I do not feel like playing games, Felix. What-”

Yes! Felix pumped one fist and grinned. “No, nothing, I’m good, thanks.” That was easier than I thought it would be.

Adam’s frown deepened, suspicion mingled with annoyance now. “Then why are you here?”

“Don’t worry about it, not important anymore.” Felix started edging toward the door.

“Felix.”

“Ugh, fine.” Adam was going to think this was silly, he knew he would, but the older vampire looked ready to haul him up by his collar and let him dangle until he explained. He wouldn’t, probably, but explaining was the path of least resistance, and Felix was fond of those. Knew I shoulda looked for Nate.

Just as he opened his mouth, however, the training room door burst open to reveal Janine, loose wisps of hair hanging in her face and determined excitement burning so bright in her grey eyes it brought out the matching stripes in her dress. She hesitated a fraction of a second after catching his eye, probably worried about a repeat.

Felix was too excited to share her concern and launched himself toward her with a loudly whooped, “YES!!!”

She was giggling as he crashed into her, as she stumbled back into the door, as their hands latched onto each others’ clothes, laughing as she kissed him, deep enough he saw fireworks. Which was fitting because this deserved celebration.

It wasn’t until a deep, long-suffering sigh rumbled out of Adam they remembered they had an audience. “Do I want to know?”

Felix and Janine broke apart, grinned at each other, and both started rattling off explanations. Felix shut up a few sentences in; Janine was doing a much better job explaining that he would have. Besides, this way he got to look at her. At the way her eyes lit up, the extra wisps of hair curling and bobbing around her face as she reeled off an enthusiastic play by play of the events leading to now. She looked like she was glowing, or maybe that was just the light through the high windows, but Felix liked the thought of her glowing better.

Adam had a very skeptical eyebrow arched by the time she finished. “Jinxes are mere superstition, Detective. They cannot cause you harm because they are not real.”

“Says the vampire,” Janine shot back immediately with a grin and arched brow of her own.

Felix barely swallowed a whoop as he slung an arm around her shoulders and turned to grin at Adam. “She makes an excellent point.”

“Supernatural races existing outside legend is a different matter entirely,” Adam insisted, then shook his head as if dismissing the matter entirely. He ran a searching look over the two of them. “This... development will bring up things to discuss, but,” one corner of his mouth tipped upward. “I am happy, for both of you.”

“Thanks, I’m happy for us, too,” Janine said brightly, shuffling herself and Felix out of the way as Adam headed for the door.

“Me, three,” Felix chipped in, kissing her on the cheek.

One small chuckle escaped Adam, and he offered them a single nod of approval before he left the room. Soon as the door closed behind him, Janine;s fingers dug into Felix’s scarf and she kissed him deeply, soundly, long enough to set lights sparking behind his eyes.

“Fireworks,” he whispered mischievously, and she grinned and kissed him again so they could see some more.

[scribblis]

"Shit! I'm going to be late!!" I yelled to no one in particular, getting my things together and cursing myself for the current predicament. You'd think I'd get it together by college, but i was as messy and jumbled as always.

The current predicament: I was late for a my first day of class, a class that was very important, since it was with Hitoshi Shinsou, aka the guy I'd been mad crushing on since two semesters ago. We were both humanities majors; him in criminology and forensics, me in sociology and abnormal psychology. We went to a small university in rural Oregon, with a small, dedicated staff and one main building for each individual colleges. And we were in the same STAT 305: Stats for Humanity major and PSYCH 706A: Critical Thinking in Psychology class this semester.

I grabbed everything I thought I needed, and rushed out of my room, grabbing an individual-wrapped brownie and a cotton candy energy drink from my fridge and stuffing them in my bag before rushing out the door, getting to the psych building with three minutes to spare.

I sighed, plopping into an empty desk somewhere in the middle-side of the classroom, glad the teacher was still not here. The psych professors at this college were all eccentric in their own rights, and I'd never had this professor before.

I caught my breath, scanning the room. Most everyone here was someone I knew or at least, I recognized their faces. This group of people tended to be serious, and brilliant, and I was confident it would be a good class. I sighed a breath of relief, getting my stuff ready. I pulled out my notebook for this class, turning it to the first lined page. I also pulled out two pens, a highlighter, and placed my brownie and my energy drink near the top of the desk to avoid spillage. I was so wrapped up in what I was doing that I didn't even notice who came into the room.

"Excuse me," a deep, instantly recognized voice asked, and I jumped before looking up, seeing none other than Hitoshi Shinsou standing next to the empty desk next to me. "Is that seat taken?"

"Uhhh....not that I know of?" I replied, slightly dumbfounded. Could I handle this?

"K. Thanks," he replied nonchalantly, sliding into the desk to my right. He set his cool grey messenger bag on the other side of the desk, pulling out a black notebook and tucking a pen behind his ear, setting up. I kept my body language casual, facing forward, but I couldn't stop myself from glancing over every so often, careful to not get caught.

I'd met the basically-demigod Hitoshi Shinsou in Intro to Psych, two semesters ago. It may be silly of me, but I'm pretty sure I started crushing on him the moment I saw him. He was tall, slender but solid, with purple hair that was constantly pushed back. At first, I thought he styled it that way, but having been in class with him and staring occasionally noticing him, it really was his fault his hair did that. He often sighed and ran a hand through his hair whenever he was really thinking about something. It was actually kinda cute, he did it so often that during tests sometimes there'd be a slight imprint of the base of his palm against his hairline. Was this weird to notice?

I tried to be careful, but on my third or fourth glance over at him, we accidentally made eye contact. His eyebrow twitched slightly in the brief second we made eye contact, and it caught me off guard to the point that my hand jerked, knocking my energy drink off the desk. It fell to my right, and hit the ground.

I hesitated reaching for it, and before I could grab it, Hitoshi had swiped it up and put it back on my desk, eyeing it.

"Never seen that flavor before," he stated casually.

"Oh! Yeah, haha, cotton candy is one of my favorite flavor of anything," I said just a bit to fast. Oh god, here was the perfect opportunity to make a good impression on him and here I was, blowing it. Though if he noticed my nervousness, he didn't indicate it.

"Huh. Next thing you know, they'll make a birthday cake flavored one," he said with a slight scoff.

"They do. It's okay, but kinda weird. It tastes like liquid cake and makes my mouth all confused."

Hitoshi raised an eyebrow at me, his violet eyes light and playful. "Sounds like you've got a sweet tooth."

Was this happening? Was I actually having a normal conversation with Hitoshi? I laughed, nervous, and reached for the can.

"Oh, I mean, I guess so, I'm a foodie in gener-"

"Stop," he interrupted.

"Huh?" God, had I already talked too much? Was I boring him? Before my thoughts could spiral me any more, though, he continued.

"That just fell on the floor. Don't open it right now."

I looked down, to where my hand was on top of the can tab, about to open it. I guess I was so nervous I didn't realize what my hands were doing.

"O-oh, right. Thanks," I said, warmth creeping up my neck and cheeks.

Luckily, I was saved from more awkward conversation by the professor coming in. Dr. Aizawa was one of the senior psychology professors at the school; he mainly oversaw higher levels of psych classes, and this one, Critical Thinking in Psych. I sighed, resolving to focus on the professor for the rest of class.

Later in the week, it's time for STAT 305, and I am prepared. It's my only class of the day, so I take time in the morning, eat breakfast, and shower, leaving early and slipping into a seat near the window. I stare out of it, my eyes flitting around, idly people-watching, before turning back to the classroom. It had filled up in the time I was staring out the window, and I briefly notice the seat next to me was the only seat not taken. Wait, is....

I turn my head and scan the room, but I really might as well not have bothered, as Hitoshi strode into the room just before the professor did. He had big purple headphones, and as he looked around the room, my pulse quickened. No way was I going to survive this semester if I'm both classes he sits next to me.

He spots the seat next to me and heads over. I turn my gaze down, chewing on my lip a bit as I fiddle with my pen. Should I make a joke? Should I say hi? Should I not acknowledge him at all?

I hear him set down his stuff and slide into his seat. I can't help myself and I glance at him in my peripheral. He takes off his headphones smoothly, resting them around his neck before running a hand through his hair. Luckily, Professor Nezu starts speaking, and I will myself to concentrate on what he's saying.

~~

".....and don't forget, get your books by Tuesday. I'll post the reading and the syllabus online, make sure to take a look through both before next class. Dismissed."

I started to get my stuff together, grabbing my backpack from off the floor when Hitoshi interrupted my thoughts.

"Hey."

"Yeah?" I replied evenly, looking up to glance at him while continuing my motions. An idle hope flitted by, wouldn't it be awesome if he asked to trade numbers?

"We should trade contact info."

Wait, what? Did that just happen? I looked up to him, and I guess my face gave away my surprised, because he spoke quickly.

"Not to....be weird or whatever. Just that we have a couple classes together this semester. We could study together."

Hitoshi Shinsou wants to study. With me. Luckily I regain my composure nearly instantly, thanks to years of masking.

"Oh! Sure! Great idea, it'll be more efficient," I responded. We traded phones, typing our contact information in before swapping back. Hitoshi Shinsou's phone number is in my contact list.

"Cool. See you around, Alis," he said, putting his messenger on one shoulder. Putting his headphones back on, he strode towards the door.

"Y-yeah, see you..." I quickly gathered my stuff, dumbfounded, before heading back to my dorm.

~~

The first weekend of the semester came, and with that, so did my weekly smoke sessions with the crew. We'd all met during orientation and immediately hit it off, and today was no different.

"Guess who has pizza rolls~" Hawks crowed, bringing a full tray of steamy, half-open pizza rolls on a large platter. They set it down on the table where the rest of us sat, plopping down on one of the couches. The smoke spot for the most part was the basement of Adgy's parents' house, which coincidentally was their bedroom, and our club's secret sanctuary.

"So let me get this straight," Vibby started as I took a long hit off one of the bongs being passed around. "Hitoshi Shinsou asked for your number. And wants to study together. This is your chance!!"

I laughed, a bit too hard and I descended into a coughing fit, passing on the bong and lighter to Simi, who passed it to Cloudy.

"Step one: message him," Hawks grinned, blowing onto a pizza roll before popping it into their mouth. "Step two: suck his dick. Step three: invite us to the wedding."

"God I wish," I said lightly, a nervous tinge to my laugh.

"Suck his dick! Suck his dick!" Adgy teased, and before long, the rest of the circle had joined in as I flushed, grabbing my pipe from the table and hitting the bowl.

"I wonder if the curtains match the drapes," Cloudy said idly, after the chanting had died down.

"No way," Adgy replied. "Have you seen the way he dresses? Dude totally manscapes."

"Okay, guys, I don't need to be thinking about Hiroshi's crotch right now, I can already barely face him," I joked.

"Let's take bets to see how this plays out," Hawks grinned. "Hmmm......dinner on me says he's gonna use a study session to flirt. Ooooo, maybe he'll lean in reeeeeal close when you're checking an answer together~"

"God," I sighed, leaning back. "I wish. Could you imagine?"

"Ten bucks says he just kisses shine out of the blue," Adgy said. "I bet he's totally the type to kiss you to get you to shut up."

"My money's on Alis accidentally confessing," Vibby said, nudging me slightly. "You do have a tendency to panic when you're flustered."

"Oooh, good point," Hawks replied, grinning. "He seems the type to play with his food."

"Y'all!!" I squeaked, hiding my face in my hands. God, I was going to die if this keeps up.

"Okay, fine, we'll ease up," Simi smiled, before breezily changing the topic. I breathed a sigh of relief, but the images of what my friends said kept me awake all night, my mind racing with the thought of those things happening to me.

[serahne-is-here]

Rant incoming - Veronica Mars Season 4

Now that we know the show is probably never coming back - and as sad as I am to think that, thank god - I just wanted to talk about the way fans are being treated by some people who enjoyed the season, and by Rob Thomas himself.

I mostly want to tacle the elephant in the room : the idea the the only reason fans are upset is because Logan is dead. And thus that the fans who are upset are only ‘shallow Logan fangirls’ who didn’t even watch the show for the right thing anyway. In order to try and counter that, we had plenty of meta written from upset’s fans perspective, explaining everything they disliked about season 4, to try to prove that Logan’s death isn’t the main reasons fans are mad.

Here is my two cents on that : Logan’s death is exactly why fans are mad. But not for the reasons pro-seasons 4 folks think.

I’ve been a fan of she show since it aired, on french TV, the episodes in the complete wrong order, because of course it was. I was eleven I think, and I was at that stage where I loved badass ladies on TV shows. There was Buffy, who kicked and kissed vampires, there was Charmed, who kicked and kissed demons, and there was Veronica.

I didn’t like Veronica as much, at first. It was a bit too real, and full of stuff I didn’t fully understand, but I liked Veronica as a character, I liked her relationship with her dad, with her friends. I liked that Veronica seemed more ‘normal’ and grounded in reality. The show stuck with me, despite its short-run, more than Buffy or Charmed did.

I came back to it a few years later, in high-school, and I absolutely fell for it again. I loved the characters, Neptune’s atmosphere, I loved Veronica and Logan together of course - they were one of my first true OTPs, the kind you read fanfictions for and that you cry about in the middle of the night. I was so sad that the TV show has been cancelled. I understood why, of course. At that time, I wished I was American, and that I could have been one more viewers to help the ratings, I was stupid, but I loved the show so much.

And then, the movie. I learnt about it late, once it was completely funded already, but I was absolutely delighted. I watched all these videos on youtube, I watched the cast tell me how amazing the fans were, and how much they loved them, and how special we were. There was this stupid ‘Who is the best love interest ?’ stuff used for promotion that I thought was a bit stupid, but I didn’t care.

I was high on love.

And how god, was this movie a love confession. I didn’t care that Jason looked a bit sick, I didn’t care that Kristen clearly hadn’t recovered fully from her pregnancy - actually, I liked seeing them as adults. I loved seeing Mac, Weevil, Wallace, even Dick, I loved that everyone was so happy to be back. Was the movie perfect ? Heck no. But you could feel RT’s intentions behing : to give us something that would make us happy.

And happy it made us. And proud. Because the fans made this happen. They brough back Veronica Mars by love, and the Veronica Mars’ cast returned this love at the fullest.

And then, season 4.

Listen to me, season 4 wasn’t great. The mystery was very messy, the ‘new’ cast mostly uninteresting or underexploited. Veronica wasn’t really herself, Logan subdued. There was some racist-ish, misogynist-ish stuff lying around, that I didn’t really care for.

But listen. I have loved this show for fifteen years. The show loved me back, I knew it, because everyone involved with it told us so for years. So, by love, we were able to close our eyes. There had always been some unfortunate stuff in earlier seasons : the whole ‘this feminist faked being raped’ business, Dick being framed as sympathetic, class and race issues being handled very clumsily... but I think we all could see, at least, the good intentions behind it. We could tell ‘well, at least Rob Thomes is trying’ ( note that this is a weaker argument in 2019 than in 2003, I won’t lie ). We were not about to trash this show that we have loved for fifteen years for some plotholes, and mischaracterization either. It’s fine, we’ll write fanfics to fix it, we told ourselves.

And then, the ending.

Logan is a fan-favorite. He has been a fan-favorite since season 1, we love Logan, and we love Veronica and Logan together, and we followed his entire journey, from being a ‘psychotic jackass’ to being the kindest, bravest, purest soul on earth. We love Logan, and everyone knew it. Veronica was the brain of the show, and Logan was its heart. He made us cry, he made us laugh, we made us fall in love with him so much that it hurt. And when you see the promo around the movie and the crow-funding, and even the one around season 4, it’s clear that everyone knew that.

How.

How can I still believe that Veronica Mars loves me, when they, willingly, understanding fully what they were doing, killed - with no ceremony - the character they knew we loved more than anything. It was the end of the season. I was still smiling from the wedding, and I guess I was thinking to myself ‘well, the mystery was underwhelming, but at least we got some LoVe to make everything better’. Despite all the flaws of the season, I still thought Rob Thomas loved me, see. That the season wasn’t that great, sure, but that he still had tried to make me happy, and that this wedding was the proof of that : yes it was rushed, and Veronica’s characterization wasn’t satisfying, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed.

By love. By LoVe.

And then the fucking punch in the face. It’s like realizing that the friend you had for all these years didn’t care about you at all, despite them telling you how much they valued you, and how much they owed you. That was someone I thought was on my side, who decided to spit on fifteen years of relationship for... for what ?

I don’t even know.

This is what hurts the most. Not Logan’s death, not really. Just the way RT’s decided to destroy everything we built together during these years. The Marshmallows carried this show with their bare hands for years, until the movie, the peak of our love story. And after everything is done, and that people are hurt and angry, and sad, the only reply we get is ‘you weren’t the fans I wanted from the beginning’, as if we weren’t good enough to be fans of this show, as if we were shallow and silly, and not focused on what is really important.

Sorry to break it to you, Rob Thomas, but ‘noir’ fans didn’t save your show. We did. The best relationship in Veronica Mars was never between Veronica and Keith, or Veronica and Logan, it was between the show and the fans.

And it seems like you blew it.

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Summer’s Child

"One, two, three, four, five!" Harry rattled off the change he was counting. He was not going to break into his California fund. He was not.

He'd made a promise to himself, this one he intended to keep.

After breaking silent promises to Jillian, and a big one of silence to himself, he'd keep this important vow to himself, no dipping into the Haight fund for any reason. There  was no chemistry set for him, and he totally ignored the telescope that was in his dad's popular science magazine.

The couch cushion landed with a thud over his shoulder while he scouted for $.30 more. That would give him enough for a burger. He'd driven by and seen Will's truck pulling out of the Dairy Barn on his way home from the library. It struck him as an opportunity to fix things. He hadn't seen Jillian in a month.

Not properly. He'd seen her with his eyes, like across the hall and sitting eating lunch quietly among the hyena like athletic table. He wouldn't approach her in that environment at all. It was asking for a beating, a physical one, he was already emotionally bruised.

Black and blue, like the time she'd convinced him to try the dock swing, and he'd let go either too soon or too late and one of his legs had caught the wooden planks. There had been splinters as well. Jillian had driven him home and patched him up before they realized. Her accomplishment had seen them jumping up and down and laughing. Well, he was really excited for her, but the bouncing made him grimace. Jillian didn't know how to drive, was afraid to. "Besides, they have streetcars in San Francisco!" Was her line. But she'd done it to save him.

That seemed like a long time ago, and all the contusions were beneath his skin, under his breast bone. Nothing broken but his heart. He could pretend during break that she was busy and not avoiding him. Once school was back in session though, there was no denying anything.

She hadn't looked at him even. And that gutted him absolutely, until one day his eyes lingered over her for longer than he normally allowed.  Jillian caught him, Harry found his intestines on the floor and his heart in their place. He'd expected her to look disgusted. Be disgusted. Especially after her perceived silent treatment, it seemed the only likely conclusion.

She looked like a bird with a broken wing.

That was what she looked like. Hurt. He wasn't sure how he'd hurt her. Harry was sure he was the injured party. The confusion was what fueled his current expedition. The fact was, they had a lifetime of shared worlds between them and he wasn't willing to let a misunderstanding or a new understanding change that.

He'd eat crow, or the burger she served him, and he'd never mention the apparently unfortunate fact that he found her wonderful and beautiful and shamefully sexy if he got to keep her.

Keep her was the wrong. No matter how gilded the cage he put her in, keeping her was like caging a bird. A being meant to fly.

He didn't want to keep her or cage her. But whatever arrangement there was between people that made them come back to each other, like the homing birds who roamed, worked, but came back. "Love?" He questioned out loud. He wanted that with Jillian. He wanted to always be the place she came back to. Where she was safe. If the love looked different than he hoped, he'd accept it.

He would not accept a separation based on nothing. They'd talk it out. Work it out. Be best friends, what the other needed. She didn't talk to him about Will before, and he guessed she needed to. You couldn't talk to your boyfriend about him being your boyfriend. Everybody needed somebody. She was his, he had always been hers. He'd listen to her about Will, not the night time stuff, hopefully. He imagined that would twist him up inside. What if she was doing, that, with Will? Worse, what if she loved him?

Those fears had been enough to keep him alone and sad, but realizing Jillian was sad too was a sight he couldn't walk past. Unwelcome knowledge was better than tripping over a wordless goodbye.

No wordless goodbyes, just unspoken support and comfortable silence and daily diatribes, like usual. So he would go eat a crow burger and try to fix it.

"Yes!" He crowed when he found the last quarter and got in his truck. He put on the radio and nearly clicked it off when Van Morrison came on. He loved Van Morrison, it was like poetry. He'd been explaining it to Jillian in the summer and she'd gotten really into it. Astral Weeks had been their lakeside soundtrack. Sweet Thing was written about Jillian, he was sure, just not how. If only he could be dynamite.

He hadn't listened since before Winter Formal, when the bluesy folk rock had promised him he could be born again, baptized in her love. He was gonna tell her, he'd decided to their soundtrack, then he'd chickened out or lost his chance when she'd been swept away. She'd flown their safe little coop, become sweet on someone else. That hurt.

But, instead of letting himself shy away from feeling what he felt for her, he listened to the music. Love was love, and he knew she loved him, or she wouldn't have looked so sad Monday in the lunchroom. He may love her different, but he could love her however she needed. He'd make a damn good job of trying.

His palms were sweating so bad he wiped them on his trousers when they nearly slipped off the steering wheel as he turned into the Dairy Barn. Will's truck was still missing, which was good. He had no idea what Will was really like. Except for a braggart who told his friends things they shouldn't know about nice girls' bodies. Harry would hold that against him more if he hadn't heard so many other guys talking like that. So many he suspected of lying, he decided that Will probably was too.

Harry still didn't want to know him, or be his friend, like Jillian would insist and want to start right away if Will was at ye olde dairy haus.

It was good he wasn't. He still felt like punching him.

Harry wiped his hands one more time and walked straight in. To get this done, then back on track and in line, he'd be a man of action.

It was quiet. The dinner rush was long over, now it was the odd person in for ice cream and the crew cleaning. Harry did his homework while she cleaned lots of nights, so he could take her home. He knew the rhythms as well as if he worked there.

She was dancing with a broom like she was atop a cloud. She was spinning and he wondered if she took flight if the roof would open for her too. He bet it would.

He didn't want to startle her. "Jillian" his voice croaked out. He hadn't spoken much since his meeting with the guidance counselor.

The broom hit the floor with a clatter. He watched it fall and bounce three times before it came to a standstill. All that potential energy converted to sound and fury. Well, so much for his good intentions.

By the time his eyes made their way off the floor, Jillian was holding her elbow with one arm while the other hand was worrying the blonde ends of her hair. She looked scared.  Which would be confusing if he didn't know that was her common response when there was a disagreement, a learned response.

He didn't think of their current estrangement as a disagreement so much as a misunderstanding. That's what he'd practiced in the mirror telling her. How he wasn't an option, not if she didn't want him to be.

"Harry, what are you doing here?" She scanned the parking lot quickly.

"I had a craving for a burger the way you make it." She always slathered on the ketchup for him. It was very un-English of him, but he loved the American condiment in heavy doses. Plus. "thought you might need a ride home,  all the way home." He shrugged but wanted to bite off his own tongue. It was best not to bring up that conversation. Well, he was here to bring it up, but in a way to make up, not make Jillian feel defensive about Will.

Because she liked him.

She liked Will and felt it was important enough to say it out loud. Which Harry knew to be significant.

Her face changed a smidgeon and he wondered if she'd shut down on him, or give him a serrated comment and then return to ignoring him. He drew in a breath to prepare for the slice.

She must have caught it, his brace. She sighed and shook her head minutely. "What are you really doing here?"

No bullshit, his Jillian, his best friend. How honest should he be? "I miss you." He flashed his hands, ready for the rap he deserved on his knuckles.

She sighed, then Hermouth quirked. "I miss you too. I don't like not seeing you everyday, and so much has happened, but I'm not sure it's real because I haven't told you."

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. And I have big news too." He was grinning. Could practically feel his dimples. She missed him too. Had things to share, because even her boyfriend knowing didn't make them feel real. He assumed Will knew them her life happenings. Unless they were about him. Harry's stomach twisted, because the news might be about Will, her being in love with Will. He was gonna have to make his innards cast iron to hear about that. But it was better than the last month without hearing her laugh.

She shook her hair and it danced. "I shouldn't have just left like that and not talked to you. When you didn't come after me, or talk to me, I thought you were mad."

"I wasn't angry with you. I was ashamed. Why would I be angry with you?" He couldn't think of a time he was mad at her. Maybe when she broke his magnifying glass when they were 9?

Jillian just shrugged. Did anger need an explanation? "I mean, we never talked about, that, is, like that. I was afraid..." she trailed off. "Never mind. You don't get mad. Not at me, for being honest. I don't know why I forgot why you're my favorite person." Her smile was silly.

He usually countered. "I'm your favorite creature, and you know it." They were 12 when she'd dubbed him her favorite person, 'Only person?' 'Fine. Creature.'  Echoed in his ear

He thought they'd just watched 'the creature from the black lagoon' that day. The reference was topical. There was more to the exchange, which Jillian filled in a moment later.

"I'd still like you, even if you looked like that- and still wore your glasses!" His dimples deepened at the old tease. They had so many inside jokes.

"Jillian?" Sandra Tucker, the girl who campaigned to get softball added at their high school and lost, who now managed the dairy barn, continued. "You planning on finishing this floor or flirting with your back up boyfriend?"

Harry didn't need any of Jillian's slicing words, that appellation cut him to the bone.

"No, I'll finish. Sorry." But her brow was furrowed and her cheeks flushed. If he didn't know her better, he'd guess embarrassed. But he did, she was mad.

Harry sat outside and thought about Sandra's wrong idea. Is that what everybody thought? That he was the guy she'd been with until she got somebody better and now he was still hanging around like the most pathetic person, creature, imaginable? He was singing 'Helplessly Hoping' when she brought him out the leftover fries from the pan. She huffed when she put it down but managed a smiler. Her hair was flyaway and he could smell her sweat, but the red cheeks were still anger.

"I'm ready soon. I have to take out the trash. I hate when I'm on Patio." Subtext: I hate Sandra right now.

He nodded. When he looked up and they connected eyes, hers turned down at the end, soft like the rabbit jacket she'd loved so when her daddy brought it home for her. She'd burned it when he left. Harry had helped, but he remembered petting it with her. And her back when she cried the last time she'd pulled it over her shoulders, though it only came to her elbows by them, then ripped it off, the seams giving further as it flung into the flames.

He cut off whatever sweet thing she was going to placate him with. "Yeah, I'm sure the toilet cleaning and taking out the trash plus double sweep and mop makes it everyone's favorite assignment."

She'd bit her lip. And he saw resolve. He'd wanted to talk, but not about Sandra. Or how being a backup instead of partner felt. She was feeling sorry for him. He was pathetic.

Thankfullly, "Jillian!" Came from the door.

The face Jillian made right then, and when she saw Sandra drop the big black bag on the pavement, right where it could rip easily and give her 20 more minutes work, could kill. Sandra had erased the admiration Jillian'd had for the girl who strove for small town equality. She may have been socially aware, but she was also a bitchy boss.

He was sitting in his truck with the radio on loud when he saw her pulling out her ponytail and walking towards him. He was happy 'Hey Jude' was on and 'Hello, I Love You' had ended when her butt thudded into the leather. She was a slight thing, but all her frustration hit the bench seat with force.

"Rough night?" He mused.

"Rough month." She leaned her head toward him and slid close so she could put her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah." He agreed and put the truck in reverse. His fingertips caught her shoulder when he extended it over the seat to check his path. She shuddered. He felt it when his arm went around her. He pulled it down her back and avoided touching her like she was sharp or on fire. He held the steering wheel until his knuckles were white and hoped she didn't notice under the stop lights. With her this close, the maneuver was uncomfortable.

"Sorry." He said low.

"Don't be."

They'd never been stuck with uncomfortable silences. Long stretches of air went unfilled between them, they never felt so tight.

Harry decided to break it just before they reached the fork. Her place or his? "Do you want to go straight home?"

She shook her head.

"Mine?" He made the turn and chanced a glance.

She was biting her lip worriedly. "Can we just drive?"

He had a test in the morning. "Yeah, let's drive."

It felt hard, until they sang 'Don't Worry Baby' and she hooked her arm through his. Harry clasped a hand over hers and drove to the lake. The edges were frozen, would be another month at least before you could walk on it , but the truck was warm and they were thawing.

"Oh! Dick moved out!" She suddenly said right after the last note. "Mom even told him his name was perfect for him and slammed the door."

"That's good!" He turned toward her with high eyebrows.

"Yeah, except I had to pay the rent this month. But it was easier because Will's parents spoil him. So I hadn't spent any of my paychecks." She sighed and flounced her shoulders against the back seat and threw her hands out before looking at him.

Harry winced, he'd hoped she'd been a moment to late with the glance, or that it was dark enough to cover for him. There was a gap between them now, so she could talk with her hands with all the space she needed to gesticulate and he needed to breathe.

"Buts it's so much better. Well, my mom was a mess for the first week, but then it got better!" She gleed up at him and he couldn't help but smile.

How much of a mess he wondered. Just passed out and raging, or like that time he had to help Jillian take her to the shower and turn on the cold full blast? She'd cried all the way through it. But when her mom came round, her eyes had turned to green glass, all emotion and wet reflected away.

He didn't help her dry her mom out this time, and he'd seen Will drop her at the Kellerman's recently. Jillian had done it alone, so he figured this heartbreak called for beer, not whiskey. It wasn't good, nor as bad as it could be. It just was.

That's what she'd told him before, when he'd tried to get her to talk about it a couple years ago. 'Does it make you mad?' He'd prompted a day to late.

'What?' She'd looked up from the paper she was supposed to be writing and he was allegedly helping her with. She'd slept over the previous night. Her eyes were red when she arrived and he'd tried to ask all the questions he'd had since her dad left the house and black eyes behind him. He'd started with the most important one.

'You okay?' He'd finally got out while he pulled her through the window. It was too chilly to ride, but her very cold cheeks against his told him she had along the dark streets and in her too thin sweater. They may have been cooler for the wet there. He had to check.

'It's nothing. Just too quiet.'

'Quiet where?'

"Everywhere. Except my head.' She'd taken off his sweatshirt to reveal flannel pajamas. It was obvious there were not so many places to shop in town . He was wearing the same ones. They may have been the Christmas present his dad had got for both of them. His pants were too short now. Hers strained at the third button down.  'Can we sleep?' She's called his attention back

He nodded, and stopped asking questions when she may have answered. Was he being a bad friend? Or was he being a good friend? "It's better now?" He asked on his back and felt her hand search for his in the small space between them. Twin beds weren't meant for two, it's why he knew he'd move to the floor when she nodded off. Safer there.

"It's always better now." And he didn't push, because he was happy he was her safe place.

Did he push now? Maybe because he let her not say everything it may have been better to say before it was to late. That's why they were in their current predicament. What he didn't say, what she didn't. Harry let her off the hook. Because she didn't want to talk and because the things he thought he knew but had not had confirmed already haunted him.

But they'd just started talking again. Now, asking now would muck everything up. Maybe send her away. And they had other things, more prescient things to discuss or ignore. Their current issues: his hard on and soft heart for her. Her rejection of both.

What happened now? They missed each other. She missed him. It counted for something.

"Are we better?" He heard himself say, like if he said it louder it would crack the ice.

Her face pinched and he waited for whatever that face, he couldn't remember ever seeing that one, meant.

Suddenly, Jillian turned to him on the bench seat and pushed his glasses up onto his head and gripped his shoulders.

Oh god, was she going to kiss him? He'd never been kissed, well that one time under the mistletoe. But they were twelve and he didn't count it. He just remembered it. Could still feel it in his dreams.

She leaned in and looked in his eyes and his fell closed without his permisssion.

"Please look at me. I know you can see this close." She cocked her head and smiled. He was glad he'd opened his eye to see it. "Does that make you farsighted or nearsighted? I always mix those up."

He could feel her breath.

"I'm nearsighted. I can see better up close." He swallowed, "Like your face right now."

"Harry, I want you to look at me." She breathed. "I love you."

Oh god. He'd put that on a record if he could. Spin it round for the rest of eternity. "I love you too!" Bubbled out, a geyser. All the pressure, years of feelings and history and hope. They loved each other. His heart raced, he was buoyed up to the top by all their force. He forgot universal laws though. What goes up..... He was grinning, but she'd gone back to biting her lip. If he wasn't so selfishly elated, he might have noticed.

"Harry," her voice was gentle. Like the flap of a wing. "I love you, and I want to be with you forever, and live with you and dance in golden gate park with flowers in our hair."

"Yeah, yeah, me too!" God this was exciting, even the beginning of the free fall. Could he take the leap and tell her his plans? That was relevant news. They could. He'd been accepted. Even had a back up place. He was about to jump when he remembered the bottom.

"So we can't, it's not, there can't, not that kind of love. It ruins..." She trailed off. "There can't be any romance between us." Her voice was sure, but the needle skipped repeatedly while she was trying to get it out, like a scratch over the very surface of their song.

"What?" He didn't understand. How could there be forever if there was no romance?

"Look, I know what all the movies say, I've seen them too. But look around you, and think. That stuff, it may feel far out for a minute, maybe 15, or a couple years like your parents. But it doesn't last. When you mess it up with kissing and screwing." She sighed. "It doesn't last. People get stupid and then they get mean. Men especially. And if I've learned anything watching my mom, the easiest way to make a guy split is to sleep with him, or depend on him. I'd die if you cut out on me Harry."

"But I'd never, I wouldn't.." but he was caught up in what she was saying. Her reasoning. Did that mean she was or was not with Will? "So you're willing to risk it with Will?" He really had no brakes on his mouth when he was all worked up. His thoughts just sped out, from his broken heart into broken pleas.

"I'm not, we haven't." She shook her head. And he felt such relief. Though why he couldn't say. He had no ownership of her virginity, just jealousy. "I'm making him wait."

"So he won't leave?"

She nodded. "Will's not important, well, he is, but he's not forever, Harry." She looked up at him and the moon shone off the whites of her eyes. Pleading and hope and resignation.

Jillian hugged him then, and it wasn't the kiss he hurtle toward the sky for, but the tumble down, well he just became part of the cycle again. The Jillian one, where she got his hopes up and he felt so high on her, her love, and then crashed down when it wasn't what he hoped. But stayed right by her, to be sucked under and pushed up and crashed down again. Helplessly, he hoped her way gave them Both what they wanted. Or something like it. He wanted to be forever.

"Okay." He heard himself agree to whatever she wanted.

"Okay?" She smiled and pressed her forehead together. "Far out! That means we get to be one, that we don't ever have to be alone! I won't leave you and you won't leave me. Promise?"

"Promise." He agreed and she hugged him up and like to crawl not just into his lap, but all the way into his heart. Like they were one person. And he didn't feel so alone. But Will made for an uncomfortable third. One he knew would hurt an confuse him as long as he was around.

After him? Who else would make them a triangle?

He may have been a big square, but he just wanted it to be the two of them, for each other, only.

He hoped, helplessly.

AN-I’m helplessly indebted to @emulateharry, @dirtystyles, and @bleedinglove4h! Thanks ladies! I hope you guys enjoy- little time jump next chapter, we’re gonna got to prom!

Talk to me! or scream at me-whatever!

[tealsnapdragonfics]

Hallows Eve Engadement pt 4

Ania POV

With a snap of my fingers, the haunt cleaned itself up. The minute the room turned normal, I was face to face with my grandfather, who, mind you, was looking rather concerned. Tears slowly fell from my eyes as I looked down in shame. His long fingers lifted my chin up, removing my tears with his thumb, and he pulled me into a warm but firm hug.

“I broke my promise. I said I’d never lose control but failed. I let you down, I let Klaus down, I-I... ” As I whimpered into his chest, he slowly stroked my back before speaking.

“Karma, look at me.” His voice had an authoritative tone, so I figured it best not to argue. Peeking up, I met with a familiar smile, the same gaze I saw the day I lost my parents. “You never broke your promise. You entrusted Tiva with the safe word I taught you just in case you lost control. Any other demon would have given into the urge and their pride and not told anyone their safe word.” With a smile, he ruffled my hair. Giggling, I tried to push his hand away.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just feel bad because I’m afraid of what could happen with Klaus. What if he doesn't think the same? What if he leaves me for a mortal girl he can grow old with? What if-” Firmly, he placed his finger to my lips.

“Sweetheart, those are only what if’s, not realities. Soon enough, you'll understand that sometimes, you stress yourself out too much. Now, go enjoy the rest of your birthday.” Hades faded away into the dark shadow of the wall, leaving me in the room alone.  

Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed a faint shadow pass by. Rolling  my eyes I face the shadow and say. “Nice try, Undertaker. What are you doing here anyways?” Letting out his signature laugh, he replied.  “Can't a grandfather check up on his only granddaughter and wish her a frightful birthday?”

“Right…” I knew that the Undertaker’s motivations were almost always for pleasure and business combined. “Who are you taking away tonight?”

Silence. The shadow appeared to wince in pain as if I had pushed on a pressure point. It was clear to me that whoever he had to take away, the Undertaker would be doing so at his own dismay. Who could he possibly not want to take away? It disturbed me that for once, he was not happy about doing his duty to Death. If it wasn’t me, then… “So help me, if you're here for Klaus…”

The Undertaker laughed hysterically. “If it was him, I'd let you do it yourself. No, some random student is about to die of disease, and I was gonna make your cousin do the deed.”

Who’s my cousin again?” Silence. It took me a few seconds to realize who he meant. “Right… I forgot about that.” He kind of has a duty when it comes to teaching ‘new’ reapers. (You may be wondering how I’m related to a Reaper, but that’s a story best left alone... Maybe another night.) “Well, I'll let you go ahead and bug the cousin,” I said just as the shadow faded into my shadow.

Snapping my fingers, my armor faded away, replaced with a orange corset lined with black weaves that appeared to represent the thorns normally wound around my silver crown. A black skirt hiked up in front, cascading from my hips down to the floor. My shoes heightened, putting me in sleek black combat boots that zip up the sides. Being left alone in the room, I walked myself out the throne room doors.

    The demonic melody filled the ballroom as Elias began playing classical Halloween medley Moon Trance. It was a catchy song, so it wasn’t a surprise the dance floor was soon crawling with people. On the other hand, no one wanted the center of the room, which resulted in awkward dancing. A familiar arm circled my waist slowly pulling me towards where everyone was dancing.

As Klaus dragged me towards the center, I remembered that I had the honor of announcing the Hallow’s Eve king and queen. Without even counting I knew who it would be. No demonic meddling involved... besides getting Zach’s help to pick the crown for the unlucky gal.  Zach was silently snickering while watching Tiva trying to get her boyfriend Luca Orlem to dance with her. They were both mysterious in their own right and Tiva loves his sadistic creativity, so it’s a win-win situation. Luca’s pranks ceased to hurt anyone, and Tiva FINALLY accepted Luca’s feelings even though it took him 7 months to succeed (But that’s only because Tiva’s a hard ass).

Resting my head on Klaus’s shoulder, we contently danced, ignoring the spotlight we were in. After all, demons don’t give a shit about anything unless it’s condemned souls for feeding or our closest friends. Being crowned Prince and Princess of the dance definitely wasn’t on that list (Damn you, Zach). Zach’s creepy yet familiar cackle filled the room. I couldn’t help sending Tiva a look that said, what the hell is he up to? The students stopped dancing and Elias made the music faint away, so Zach could continue his spheil. “It’s the time all you pathetic wizards have been waiting for. Your King, Queen, Prince, and Princess shall soon be announced!” Shooting my gaze to Tiva, I mouthed to her. DID YOU PUT HIM UP TO THIS? Tiva mouthed back, You’re the one in charge of this, not me!

Zach continued the greatly anticipated announcement, “On this Hallow’s Eve Night, the Prince and Princess is none other than our Emperor Klaus Goldstein and his lovely Empress Anyia Michaelis!” I smirked.

I knew exactly what was gonna happen next.

Nodding my head towards Zach, he continued. “Now for the main event. Your Hallow’s Eve King and Mysteriously lovely Queen are none other than our Favorite Prankster Luciano Orudeus Gedonelune (Luca Orlem) and the sneaky, insane, half-Reaper Tiva Nasia Nightshade!” (SPOILER ALERT) The look on their faces was the best thing ever.

*Time skip brought to you by hours of dancing and a lifetime supply of endless punishment for Zach*

Having taken many pictures and danced for hours, Klaus began to lead me somewhere alone in the light of the full moon. The music soon faded away, the endless woods remained semi-dark with an elegant shimmer from the moon, and Klaus’s figure continued to lead me along. Granted, I could see where I was going, but his sudden adventure still had me curious. The further we walked, the more aura shadows I noticed out of the corner of my eye. I wanted to know where he was taking me, so I gave in to the urge. “Nascha, where are you taking me?”

It’s been awhile since I last called him that, so I figured now was the best time. After all, we were ‘alone.’ Persistent in his guiding, he simply turned his head, smiled, and kept leading me deeper into the trees. Soon, we found ourselves in a open and wide field, with noticeable tombstones left and right. Once I spotted an ancient royalty headstone, I knew exactly which cemetery we were standing in.

“How did you even...” I was at a loss for words. There’s no way he could have found the forbidden Michaelis cemetery by himself, right? Before I could react, I began to hear a mysteriously familiar violin song playing from the distance (Song of a Caged Bird - Lindsey Stirling). I hadn’t heard Lindsey’s Song of a Caged Bird since... not since I last picked up my father’s violin and played it for his birthday, then his funeral. My eyes widened as unfamiliar tears began to fall from my demonic eyes. Shimmering dancing lights began to dance around alongside the music, replaying the days that my parents were still alive. It was a lie to say I didn’t desperately want them back.

Turning to Klaus, I could tell that this was his birthday present to me, an opportunity to see my parents one last time. Without saying a word, I walked up to him and buried myself in his arms. Holding me tightly, he whispered in my ear, “Koko, turn around and open your eyes.” Doing as he said, I turned around and was face to face with none other than my raven-haired father and blonde-haired mother. Covering my mouth, I couldn’t help letting out a quiet sob.

Naturally, my parents heard it.

My dad walked towards me and pulled me into his chest for an unusually heart-warming hug. Holding me closely, my mother came next to my dad and stroked my hair, speaking, “My little crow have grown into such a beautiful and powerful young lady.” My father scoffed, knowing full well that I would not accept such a title, and spoke in the soothing voice I’d so longed to hear, “Kitten, we’re sorry we weren’t able to be there for you like real parents, but we never left your side, not once.”

Gripping them both harder, I whispered, “If you were here the whole time, why couldn’t I see you all the time? I alway needed you both, even if I am a Demon-Reaper Wizardess.”

Smiling down at me, my father replied, “Silly kitten. You know full well that the dead resides on a different plane, with the exception of those who cannot or chooses not to move on. It doesn't mean that we aren't with you all the time. Especially not with part of ourselves inside of you.”

“I missed you so much. Do you have to leave again?”

“Who says we ever did? Happy birthday, little kitten,” my father lovingly said as he and my mother hugged me tightly. I closed my eyes to take in as much of them as I could. The tightness of the hug faded away, but the warmth never did. When I finally opened my eyes, they were gone, replaced by dancing lights that soon became faint as the song came to a close. Turning to Klaus, the rude brainiac who could be very sweet at times, I was met with a warm smile and kind eyes. Unable to hold myself back, I punched him in the arm before giving him a hug. “What was that for?”

“You made me cry. I don't like crying,” I replied with a smirk on my face. Rolling his eyes, he took his arms and wrapped them securely around my waist. Pulling me closer, he whispered sweet nothings into my ear before finally speaking in a nervous voice, “Ania, I want to ask you something. I’ve been meaning to ask for a while, but now, I cannot delay any longer.”

Klaus is NERVOUS? That’s unusual. He’s normally calm and composed, even in dire situations. He’s starting to worry me... What question could he possibly have that he’s been waiting to ask? I stared at him, waiting for him to keep talking. After a moment of awkward silence, he finally got the hint that I was waiting for him to ask whatever was on his mind. “Well…”

“Well?” I was starting to get impatient. And then, out of nowhere, Klaus kneeled on one knee only for him to pull out a small black box. Huh? He opened it, revealing an amethyst gold ring, and asked the last question I expected to come out of his mouth, “Anyia Kai Lainey Michaelis, will you marry me?” Wait a minute… WHAT?!?!

I was completely thrown off track. He’s not that good at keeping secrets from me! How could I have been so oblivious to this? Unless.... Looking out of the corner of my eye, I noticed two shadows, one fairly shorter than the other, standing in the trees. The tall shadow appeared to be snickering, whereas the other calmly walked up to the tall shadow and smacked him on the back of the head, only for said figure to kiss the shadow. Oh, Tiva. Of course Klaus asked for your help. At least she finally manned up enough to kiss Luca. Once I realized Klaus was still in front of me, I quickly looked back at him, nervously awaiting my answer.

I finally answered, “Yes.”

Sighing in relief, Klaus stood slipped the ring on my finger and pulled me to him with a smile. Peeking from the ring to his god-like features, I asked, “Are you sure you can handle me? I mean, I am a sadistic demon after all, Oh, and I forgot to mention that I'm also part Reaper.” Letting out a soft chuckle, Klaus replied, “Love, if I didn't think I could, I wouldn't have considered proposing in the first place.” Smiling widely, Klaus pulled me against his chest and laid a playful kiss to my neck, then to my lips.

This was One Hell of an Engagement on this Hallow’s Eve night.

[october-rosehip]

OC Interview Meme- Ceilidh

I was tagged by @mocha-writes, who has tagged some of the usual suspects so I will tag... @madamsnark and @icylook, in case you need a timewaster.

I’m convinced all my art sucks lately so have a dollmaker Ceilidh. You can play with it here... http://www.rinmarugames.com/playgame.php?game_link=mega-fantasy-avatar-creator

1. What is your name?

“Ceilidh Tabris. It is pronounced KAY-leeh.”

2. What is your real name?

“Hero of Ferelden, Arlessa of Amaranthine, Warden Commander, Maestra Arainai? Pick one.”

3. Do you know why you were called that?

“Assorted reasons.”

4. Are you single or taken?

“Taken.”

5. Have any abilities or powers?

“All sorts. I can sew, I know how to cook, I'm decent at poisons... Ohhh you mean ways of kicking ass.” By her smile you can tell she knew that, and is messing with you. “I'm very good at stabbing things very fast, I get really mean when I'm angry, and I have a good relationship with the fade for a 'normal'. I drank Avernus' weird crap, too, so there's that.”

6. Stop being a Mary Sue.

“Unlike certain cuddly mages a universe or two away from me, I'm quite sure that term doesn't apply to me.”

7. What’s your eye color?

“They're green. Most people tell me they're my best feature.”

8. How about your hair color?

“Dark brown. Can't you tell? I have enough of it.” She tosses her mass of curls around, several loops of braid almost failing to keep them from escaping and frizzing out in all directions.

9. Have you any family members?

“Yeah! My family's huge. My dad, Soris, Shianni, all our adopted Crowlets; Zev's family now, and we have a daughter. Also, we found a cousin in Kirkwall. At least, we're pretty sure. He could be my brother, as similar as we look, but we don't have access to his records. But seriously, our noses, eyes, and eyebrows clearly grew on the same tree.”

10. Oh? What about pets?

“I still have my dog, and I keep a butterfly garden wherever I go. And, I mean, I have a sword with an undead dragon in it? Is that a pet?”

11. That’s cool I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like.

“Damn right, it’s cool. Anyway, I don't like politics, but I'm doomed to be involved in them, forever. I also don't like Chantry people looking sideways at my kid.”

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

“I love to read. I have those butterflies. Zev taught me to draw a little bit. We also have a slightly more personal hobby.”

13. Ever hurt anyone before?

“Of course. Often with much enthusiasm.”

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

“Did you notice that civil war we just had?”

15. What kind of animal are you?

“I don't do nice things to people who call me an animal. Just so you know.”

16. Name your worst habits.

“Other than fucking shit up for asshole humans? I... might have a bit of an issue with alcohol.”

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

“All kinds of people. I didn't do any of it on my own, you know?”

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

“Bisexual is the best word, I think.”

19. Do you go to school?

“Aw, you probably think you're funny.”

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

“I've done that. Though, I guess 'married' might be stretching matters, but like fuck I'm going to do that shit again.”

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

“I do, and it's weird.”

22. What are you most afraid of?

“Well, let's see... plenty of things. The world is scary. But I will tell you that I am NEVER going on my Calling and tradition can fuck itself.”

23. What do you usually wear?

“Ideally? Light linen or silk tunics and pants. Dalish leathers sometimes. Platemail more often than I want.”

24. Do you love someone?

“Very much.”

25. When was the last time you wet yourself?

“Other than when I was a baby? The beatdown I took on the way to Fort Drakon might have caused that. It's hard to tell. I don't remember it very well, but I was bloody, smelly, and concussed by the time I got there. That’s how humans deal with surrenders, for you.”

26. Well, it’s not over yet!

“What isn't, my life? Are you saying my time in human prisons isn't over? Because if that's the case, I should warn you that we're less alone than you think.”

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class)

“Are you fucking serious? Oh, hah, you are. Well, I have several titles and a ton of money but I have no idea what half those forks are for, and my ears are pointy. Too many people in Denerim remember me as an assistant tailor, and in Antiva, it's complicated. I bought a house of assassins to save on the bloodshed, but that makes me technically a Crow, and most Crows were slaves. Yeah... it's weird.”

28. How many friends do you have?

“So many. Lots of people are decent if you just listen to them.

29. What are your thoughts on pie?

“Pie is useful. You can turn anything into pie. My favorite involves cheese and vegetables.”

30. Favourite drink?

“I like brown ale and I like chicory. Zev makes fun of me for both, but mostly because he likes to make me pretend-angry.”

31. What’s your favourite place?

“Hmmm... the beach, I think. Also, the roof. I like fresh air and I like people not knowing who I am, right away.”

32. Are you interested in someone?

“In what way?”

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy?

“All right, look, underclothing sizes are complete trash, and if you want something to fit, you have to have it made. I can help you with that. But if you want to know how big my tits are, they range from smallish to medium depending on if I've had enough to eat, lately. Being a Warden is hard on the grocery budget.”

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

“Ocean! The ocean is awesome.”

35. What’s your type?

“I like someone kind, and funny, and not too far above me.”

36. Any fetishes?

“Oh, tons. I'll try anything once.”

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive?

“I don't take orders well, that's for damn sure.”

38. Camping or indoors?

“I love camping. It was so strange moving back into a building after the blight. That said, I'm sure everyone I know is glad Zev and I have walls, now.”

39. Are you wanting the interview to end?

“Are you trying to see how far you can push me? Is that why you're asking? Silly you.”

40. Now it’s over!

“Hah! I win!”

[eldritchsurveys]

o12.

Have you ever sold anything online either on Craigslist, eBay, Amazon, etc.? If not, what is your website of choice like any of the above for buying things? >> Nope. My website of choice for buying things is Amazon, I guess, just because it’s easy and they have so much shit. If the opportunity arose, would you ever go to a nude beach? Do you think you’d be comfortable enough, being naked among others like that? >> Yeah, I’d try it. I suppose it couldn’t be all that bad, if everyone else is nude too. Levels the playing field, and all. But I wouldn’t want to like... sit on stuff butt-naked. Like, that’s the main thing that bothers me about just walking around nude -- I don’t want to put my unprotected parts on stuff, bruh. So... yeah, I guess I wouldn’t stay long for that reason. At least let me put some bikini bottoms on or something, damn. What was the last book you read? What about the book drew you to want to read it (plot, title, cover…)? Did you end up liking it? >> Dune Messiah. What drew me to it is that it’s the second book in the series I’ve dedicated myself to reading, so it was just the logical progression. I did indeed like it. Have you ever considered keeping a dream journal? If you have one, have you ever looked back on it at all of the odd/interesting dreams you used to have? >> I try to keep one, but my dream recall is very sporadic and unpredictable. Sometimes I look back at what I do have, yeah. Do you think regifting is cheap, or is it okay? Have you ever regifted before? >> I wholly approve of regifting. I think it makes more sense to give something to someone who will actually use or appreciate it, rather than hanging onto something just because... what, someone gave it to me? Like, I appreciate being given the gift, because the thought really does count to me, but if I’m not going to use the thing, then why would I let this perfectly good object go to waste just collecting dust in the closet or something when I can give it to someone who’ll actually enjoy it???? LOGIC

How often do you wash your hair? What do you think when you hear of some people not washing their hair for weeks at a time? Is it healthier, as they claim? >> Every couple of weeks or so. --Well, seeing as I’m one of those people, I don’t think much of anything, because it’s normal to me. I don’t care, this is what works for me and I’m going to keep doing it until something else works better. Do you think President Obama should stay in office, or is it time for a new president? >> Damn, bruh. In general, do you like/get along with your mother’s or your father’s side of the family more? >> --- Have you ever seen an animal give birth? Have you ever had a pet give birth before? >> Yeah, and not my pet but my friend’s pet. I’ve also seen a cat eat its kittens! It was very enthralling. What do your plans usually consist of on Christmas morning? Are they the same this year? >> These past two Christmases I was at Sparrow’s parents’ house, and I guess the first time it was novel and exciting, but the second time I was way over the performative-ness and those people and just... blaaagh. But I assume I’ll be doing the same thing this year, probably day-drinking and trying not to talk to anyone. Do you like iPads/tablets or laptops more? E-readers or books? >> I mean, I use my laptops almost exclusively. And when it comes to books, I really don’t give a damn, man. I use both at my leisure. If you don’t get much snow where you live, do you wish you did get more snow? If you do get snow where you live, do you get a lot? Do you like snow? >> Enough snow falls in West Michigan that I am usually quite sick of it by March or so. Also, winter has a habit of outstaying its welcome to a depressing degree, so by May I want to die. LMAO. --In general, yeah, I like snow, but like... moderation, man. If men could get pregnant too, would abortion still be as big an issue as it is? >> Hm. What is something you want to try to accomplish within the next year? >> I’m not sure. Have you ever had to “come out” to your parents about anything (sexual orientation, change in religion, etc.)? How did it go? >> I tried to explain being trans to my father once, lmao. It was actually pretty funny, because I was like, explaining hormone replacement therapy to him, and he was just like “.... hunh.” Like I think he was mostly just confused, lmao. But I mean, in general, I’m an adult. I don’t have to tell him anything about my life if I don’t want to, so it’s not a big deal. Do you ever get drunk by yourself? >> Yeah. Who else am I supposed to get drunk with, besides the people in my head? But I’m mostly over getting drunk, anyway. I mostly just drink until the light buzz now, and then stop there. I’m still thinking about whether getting ritualistically drunk (with Wednesday, for example) is a thing I want to continue... I’m not sure yet. I think if I do, it’ll only be with specific drinks (like maybe this 1000 Stories wine, which I still think he put into my hand in the first place), to further emphasise the ritual boundaries and also to control it a little (liquor is temperamental and the delayed release doesn’t help either, but wine is easier to control). Has there ever been a time where you’ve forgotten something extremely important? >> I mean, yeah, sure. Describe the last time you were infuriated. >> Infuriated... I feel like the last time I felt that way was because of some bullshit in the PixelCount Discord. That’s why I left that shit, I got tired. What’s the most unusual kind of pizza you’ve ever tried? >> I’m not sure. If you were given the chance to decorate an entire house the way you wanted, with no limit to cost, how would you decorate it? >> I’d need some time to think about that. If you could have any kind of lava lamp, what kind would you have? >> Any kind? I’ve never had one at all. What movie do you know by heart? >> I used to know Labyrinth pretty much backwards and forwards, but my last rewatch was a long while ago. I need to get back on that train. I know the songs of The Prince of Egypt pretty well, and some of the dialogue. I used to be good with The Crow but it’s been a long time for that one, too. Has there ever been a time where you thought you were going to be great friends with someone, but it just never happened? >> I don’t think so. What’s one of your favorite things to touch/feel? >> Certain kinds of stuffed animal fur. How often do you wear tights? >> I don’t. If you had to choose, what’s the most important thing in your life at the moment? >> I don’t like to rank things like this. Do you have Netflix? >> I do. How much money would you have to spend before you felt really guilty about spending that much? >> Hell, I feel guilty about spending $2 at Redbox (”but I can just wait until it’s on Netflix, or pirate it!!! this is a Waste” shut the fuck up, goblin brain, life is short). Has there ever been anything you’ve become interested in much later than other people? >> Yeah, lmao. I’m kinda slow sometimes. Why is your favorite TV show your favorite? >> LOL I keep forgetting to mention Metalocalypse as a favourite, too, but man, my feels about that show are legion. I love it because it’s hilarious, but also because I really actually care about this silly fucking death metal band and their longsuffering manager and the Doomstar that will herald their ascension and... just everything. I love that show so fucking much and I miss it every day of my life. Grey’s Anatomy is my favourite because it really hits me in the feels, like... I don’t cry about a lot of things but I’ve cried at half the Grey’s episodes I’ve seen. It just really does humanity well... like, it has some of the most honest and compassionate writing that I’ve ever seen. It’s an utterly amazing and heartfelt and joyful and sorrowful show and I’m so glad I started watching it. Person of Interest is my favourite because... wow. Again, amazing writing, just amazing. Such complex and emotional characters, and the whole Machine thing is just... right up my alley, man. An artificial superintelligence learning to truly appreciate humanity for what it is, like... I don’t know. I don’t know. It hits me right in the gut. I still get choked up about the ending of that show. God. Describe your favorite picture of yourself, or post it. >> I don’t have a single favourite photo. Is there a genre of music that some people would be surprised that you enjoy? >> Probably not, if they know anything about me. Assuming you have a Facebook, if one of your friends posted things that annoyed you, would you be more likely to delete them as a friend, hide their statuses, or just put up with it? >> I’d hide their statuses for a while, but if it got so I was never looking at their page, I’d just unfriend them. What’s the point, then? Have you ever had a veggie burger? >> Of course. Do you like candles? >> Yep. What’s your favorite video game? >> Pillars of Eternity, Dragon Age, Elder Scrolls, Guitar Hero, the list goes on. What was something you liked about today? >> Fuckin H O T GATORADE, god. fucking... god. LMFAO. When was the last time you passed out? >> I don’t know. Do you think “friends with benefits” relationships could ever possibly work without anyone getting hurt? >> I’m sure someone’s gotten it to work. Like, it’s a big world out there. Do you wear more sweatshirts or jackets? >> Hoodies. What was the last thing you had to drink? >> I had like half a Backwoods Bastard. I didn’t even finish it, it’s still on my desk. When was the last time you wore a sports bra? >> The last time I went out. When was the last time you went to a water park? >> Never. Does your best friend live close to you? >> --- Have you ever rode a train? >> I’ve ridden many a train. Where did you get the shirt you’re currently wearing? >> I’m just wearing an undershirt. This Night Vale hoodie used to be Sparrow’s. When was the last time you played Rock Band? With whom? >> It’s been a while. I usually play Guitar Hero because the guitar controller is more compatible with it. There’s a slight difference in how shit registers on Rock Band that messes me up a lot, and I haven’t felt like dealing with it. But I miss the RB songs, so I might try to make it work at some point. Maybe I just need to calibrate my shit. What was the last thing that you ate? >> A pack of those Captain’s Wafers crackers. The peanut butter and honey ones, the best kind!!!! I’m so glad I finally found a Meijer that sells the boxes, goddamn, finally. Who last messaged you on Facebook? >> Uh... probably my cousin Kythe, with another fucking chain IM thing. I’m about to block her ass, lmfao. What were you doing Saturday at 1:30 pm? >> I don’t remember. The last time you were intoxicated, what were you drinking? >> Mango-pineapple vodka and orange juice. It’s so delicious, too, and that’s the fucking problem -- I drink it because it tastes good, and next thing you know... Who last walked you home? >> --- What do you do to help your face from breaking out? >> Wash it. It takes care of the rest on its own. Did you make any new friends lately? If so, what are their names and how did you meet them? >> --- Would you rather see your favourite band/artist in concert with 2 other people or have a free $20,000 shopping spree to Walmart? >> What on earth am I going to buy at Walmart for that much money, lmao... I’d rather spend that kind of money somewhere else, so I guess I’d take the concert. I’d choose a band that doesn’t come to the US often. >:3 When was the last time you went out to eat? >> When I was in Chicago. On a scale of 1-10, how anxious are you currently? >> Er... 1? What kind of music do you listen to? >> The audible kind. What does your perfect day consist of? >> Meh. Do you have any online friends? >> Whatever friends I do have are online. Would you dye your hair red? >> Sure. If your ex wanted to take you back, would you say yes? >> I mean, that’s basically what happened innit lmao :B How is the weather? >> I don’t know, mild, I guess.  

[dawncleyne-blog]

Hallow's Eve Engagement Part 4

You all know what this is a Picture of!

This is Klaus crown for when he wins the title of prince. I took inspiration from the color of Ania’s crown and the fact that Bronze is more Prince and Princess

This is the crown for Ania when she wins title of Princess. 

Tiva and Ania share the skirt both are wearing a skirt similar to the one in this picture. (And can I just say I WANT THOSE BOOTS I’D WEAR THOSE!)

Luca’s crown was inspired by the fact he’s pre-Royalty and since the symbol for the country is a dragon. THe green is to represent his hair eyes and the stone from his mothers earring 

This is the crown Tiva wins for becoming Queen.

WARNING: SPOILER ALERT!

Ania POV

With a snap of my fingers, the haunt cleaned itself up. The minute the room turned normal, I was face to face with my grandfather, who, mind you, was looking rather concerned. Tears slowly fell from my eyes as I looked down in shame. His long fingers lifted my chin up, removing my tears with his thumb, and he pulled me into a warm but firm hug.

“I broke my promise. I said I’d never lose control but failed. I let you down, I let Klaus down, I-I... ” As I whimpered into his chest, he slowly stroked my back before speaking.

“Karma, look at me.” His voice had an authoritative tone, so I figured it best not to argue. Peeking up, I met with a familiar smile, the same gaze I saw the day I lost my parents. “You never broke your promise. You entrusted Tiva with the safe word I taught you just in case you lost control. Any other demon would have given into the urge and their pride and not told anyone their safe word.” With a smile, he ruffled my hair. Giggling, I tried to push his hand away.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just feel bad because I’m afraid of what could happen with Klaus. What if he doesn't think the same? What if he leaves me for a mortal girl he can grow old with? What if-” Firmly, he placed his finger to my lips.

“Sweetheart, those are only what if’s, not realities. Soon enough, you'll understand that sometimes, you stress yourself out too much. Now, go enjoy the rest of your birthday.” Hades faded away into the dark shadow of the wall, leaving me in the room alone.  

Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed a faint shadow pass by. Rolling  my eyes I face the shadow and say.  “Nice try, Undertaker. What are you doing here anyways?” Letting out his signature laugh, he replied.  “Can't a grandfather check up on his only granddaughter and wish her a frightful birthday?”

“Right…” I knew that the Undertaker’s motivations were almost always for pleasure and business combined. “Who are you taking away tonight?”

Silence. The shadow appeared to wince in pain as if I had pushed on a pressure point. It was clear to me that whoever he had to take away, the Undertaker would be doing so at his own dismay. Who could he possibly not want to take away? It disturbed me that for once, he was not happy about doing his duty to Death. If it wasn’t me, then… “So help me, if you're here for Klaus…”

The Undertaker laughed hysterically. “If it was him, I'd let you do it yourself. No, some random student is about to die of disease, and I was gonna make your cousin do the deed.”

Who’s my cousin again?” Silence. It took me a few seconds to realize who he meant. “Right… I forgot about that.” He kind of has a duty when it comes to teaching ‘new’ reapers. (You may be wondering how I’m related to a Reaper, but that’s a story best left alone... Maybe another night.) “Well, I'll let you go ahead and bug the cousin,” I said just as the shadow faded into my shadow.

Snapping my fingers, my armor faded away, replaced with a orange corset lined with black weaves that appeared to represent the thorns normally wound around my silver crown. A black skirt hiked up in front, cascading from my hips down to the floor. My shoes heightened, putting me in sleek black combat boots that zip up the sides. Being left alone in the room, I walked myself out the throne room doors.

    The demonic melody filled the ballroom as Elias began playing classical Halloween medley Moon Trance. It was a catchy song, so it wasn’t a surprise the dance floor was soon crawling with people. On the other hand, no one wanted the center of the room, which resulted in awkward dancing. A familiar arm circled my waist slowly pulling me towards where everyone was dancing.

As Klaus dragged me towards the center, I remembered that I had the honor of announcing the Hallow’s Eve king and queen. Without even counting I knew who it would be. No demonic meddling involved... besides getting Zach’s help to pick the crown for the unlucky gal.  Zach was silently snickering while watching Tiva trying to get her boyfriend Luca Orlem to dance with her. They were both mysterious in their own right and Tiva loves his sadistic creativity, so it’s a win-win situation. Luca’s pranks ceased to hurt anyone, and Tiva FINALLY accepted Luca’s feelings even though it took him 7 months to succeed (But that’s only because Tiva’s a hard ass).

Resting my head on Klaus’s shoulder, we contently danced, ignoring the spotlight we were in. After all, demons don’t give a shit about anything unless it’s condemned souls for feeding or our closest friends. Being crowned Prince and Princess of the dance definitely wasn’t on that list (Damn you, Zach). Zach’s creepy yet familiar cackle filled the room. I couldn’t help sending Tiva a look that said, what the hell is he up to? The students stopped dancing and Elias made the music faint away, so Zach could continue his spheil. “It’s the time all you pathetic wizards have been waiting for. Your King, Queen, Prince, and Princess shall soon be announced!” Shooting my gaze to Tiva, I mouthed to her. DID YOU PUT HIM UP TO THIS? Tiva mouthed back, You’re the one in charge of this, not me!

Zach continued the greatly anticipated announcement, “On this Hallow’s Eve Night, the Prince and Princess is none other than our Emperor Klaus Goldstein and his lovely Empress Anyia Michaelis!” I smirked.

I knew exactly what was gonna happen next.

Nodding my head towards Zach, he continued. “Now for the main event. Your Hallow’s Eve King and Mysteriously lovely Queen are none other than our Favorite Prankster Luciano Orudeus Gedonelune (Luca Orlem) and the sneaky, insane, half-Reaper Tiva Nasia Nightshade!” (SPOILER ALERT) The look on their faces was the best thing ever.

*Time skip brought to you by hours of dancing and a lifetime supply of endless punishment for Zach*

Having taken many pictures and danced for hours, Klaus began to lead me somewhere alone in the light of the full moon. The music soon faded away, the endless woods remained semi-dark with an elegant shimmer from the moon, and Klaus’s figure continued to lead me along. Granted, I could see where I was going, but his sudden adventure still had me curious. The further we walked, the more aura shadows I noticed out of the corner of my eye. I wanted to know where he was taking me, so I gave in to the urge. “Nascha, where are you taking me?”

It’s been awhile since I last called him that, so I figured now was the best time. After all, we were ‘alone.’ Persistent in his guiding, he simply turned his head, smiled, and kept leading me deeper into the trees. Soon, we found ourselves in a open and wide field, with noticeable tombstones left and right. Once I spotted an ancient royalty headstone, I knew exactly which cemetery we were standing in.

“How did you even...” I was at a loss for words. There’s no way he could have found the forbidden Michaelis cemetery by himself, right? Before I could react, I began to hear a mysteriously familiar violin song playing from the distance (Song of a Caged Bird - Lindsey Stirling). I hadn’t heard Lindsey’s Song of a Caged Bird since... not since I last picked up my father’s violin and played it for his birthday, then his funeral. My eyes widened as unfamiliar tears began to fall from my demonic eyes. Shimmering dancing lights began to dance around alongside the music, replaying the days that my parents were still alive. It was a lie to say I didn’t desperately want them back.

Turning to Klaus, I could tell that this was his birthday present to me, an opportunity to see my parents one last time. Without saying a word, I walked up to him and buried myself in his arms. Holding me tightly, he whispered in my ear, “Koko, turn around and open your eyes.” Doing as he said, I turned around and was face to face with none other than my raven-haired father and blonde-haired mother. Covering my mouth, I couldn’t help letting out a quiet sob.

Naturally, my parents heard it.

My dad walked towards me and pulled me into his chest for an unusually heart-warming hug. Holding me closely, my mother came next to my dad and stroked my hair, speaking, “My little crow have grown into such a beautiful and powerful young lady.” My father scoffed, knowing full well that I would not accept such a title, and spoke in the soothing voice I’d so longed to hear, “Kitten, we’re sorry we weren’t able to be there for you like real parents, but we never left your side, not once.”

Gripping them both harder, I whispered, “If you were here the whole time, why couldn’t I see you all the time? I alway needed you both, even if I am a Demon-Reaper Wizardess.”

Smiling down at me, my father replied, “Silly kitten. You know full well that the dead resides on a different plane, with the exception of those who cannot or chooses not to move on. It doesn't mean that we aren't with you all the time. Especially not with part of ourselves inside of you.”

“I missed you so much. Do you have to leave again?”

“Who says we ever did? Happy birthday, little kitten,” my father lovingly said as he and my mother hugged me tightly. I closed my eyes to take in as much of them as I could. The tightness of the hug faded away, but the warmth never did. When I finally opened my eyes, they were gone, replaced by dancing lights that soon became faint as the song came to a close. Turning to Klaus, the rude brainiac who could be very sweet at times, I was met with a warm smile and kind eyes. Unable to hold myself back, I punched him in the arm before giving him a hug. “What was that for?”

“You made me cry. I don't like crying,” I replied with a smirk on my face. Rolling his eyes, he took his arms and wrapped them securely around my waist. Pulling me closer, he whispered sweet nothings into my ear before finally speaking in a nervous voice, “Ania, I want to ask you something. I’ve been meaning to ask for a while, but now, I cannot delay any longer.”

Klaus is NERVOUS? That’s unusual. He’s normally calm and composed, even in dire situations. He’s starting to worry me... What question could he possibly have that he’s been waiting to ask? I stared at him, waiting for him to keep talking. After a moment of awkward silence, he finally got the hint that I was waiting for him to ask whatever was on his mind. “Well…”

“Well?” I was starting to get impatient. And then, out of nowhere, Klaus kneeled on one knee only for him to pull out a small black box. Huh? He opened it, revealing an amethyst gold ring, and asked the last question I expected to come out of his mouth, “Anyia Kai Lainey Michaelis, will you marry me?” Wait a minute… WHAT?!?!

I was completely thrown off track. He’s not that good at keeping secrets from me! How could I have been so oblivious to this? Unless.... Looking out of the corner of my eye, I noticed two shadows, one fairly shorter than the other, standing in the trees. The tall shadow appeared to be snickering, whereas the other calmly walked up to the tall shadow and smacked him on the back of the head, only for said figure to kiss the shadow. Oh, Tiva. Of course Klaus asked for your help. At least she finally manned up enough to kiss Luca. Once I realized Klaus was still in front of me, I quickly looked back at him, nervously awaiting my answer.

I finally answered, “Yes.”

Sighing in relief, Klaus stood slipped the ring on my finger and pulled me to him with a smile. Peeking from the ring to his god-like features, I asked, “Are you sure you can handle me? I mean, I am a sadistic demon after all, Oh, and I forgot to mention that I'm also part Reaper.” Letting out a soft chuckle, Klaus replied, “Love, if I didn't think I could, I wouldn't have considered proposing in the first place.” Smiling widely, Klaus pulled me against his chest and laid a playful kiss to my neck, then to my lips.

This was One Hell of an Engagement on this Hallow’s Eve night.

[emhoardsbooks]

home

In a world where you know your soulmate when they say your name, Lily takes a summer job at a flower shop, in hopes that she can trick the universe into finding hers. AO3

A/N: written for @hufflepuffheadmistress - this was meant to be a drabble request for my 2k celebration and it is so not drabble length but yolo

The flower shop had been Mary’s idea one night when they were walking back to their shared flat after a night at the pub. It was the summer before their last year of university and they were all looking for work. Lily had found an internship with a small newspaper but it was for experience.

“They’re exploiting you is what it is. And now you need to find an actual paying job on top of it so you can make rent,” her dad had grumbled. Her mum had suggested that Lily move back in with them for the summer but it was quickly shot down. She wasn’t giving up her freedom that easily and she’d do whatever it took to make it work.

So that night when Mary saw a “Help Wanted” sign in a flower shop window she had squealed and told Lily that she had to work there. Lily didn’t quite understand the enthusiasm at first. But after a few minutes of Marlene and Mary explaining, it finally hit her.

Perhaps, by working there, she could trick fate and hear her name said by the countless people who would buy flowers from her. Maybe one of them would be her soulmate.

It was silly really, falling for the delusion that this summer job could lead to summer love. No. Lifelong love if she was really hoping to finally find her soulmate. Perhaps it was her annoyance over having a name that could be so easy to hear in conversation and yet no one who had said it in her twenty two years had given her that feeling. Marlene always said the moment Dorcas first said her name was like an electric shock. It was a lightning strike that made her bones ache, her fingers prickle and her heart pound.

Despite the hopes she had, about six weeks into the job Lily knew that it had been a stupid idea for two reasons.

One: No one said “I’d like a lily” they always asked “I’d like some lilies please.” Her soulmate could’ve been any one of them but she wouldn’t have known because her name wasn’t lilies.

Two: Hardly any customers cared enough about her to read her name tag and actually address her by name.

It had been a stupid, hopeless idea that was leading nowhere. But she kept working because she really did enjoy working there. The owners were nice and the customers were always happy with the arrangements. It was a nice break from the fast pace of the newspaper office. And truthfully, every time she thought about giving up a small part of her heart gave a tug and whispered “stay.”

On one particularly slow day she was rearranging some flowers and admonishing herself for being so impatient.

“What do you even need your soulmate for right now? You’re not even out of university for heaven’s sake! You might not meet them until you have a job, or have done some travelling- ugh what if they’re not even in Britain!?”

A throat cleared behind her and she jumped a little. She hadn’t even heard the bell chime at the door that always signaled customers coming and going. She turned around, a larger sunflower still in hand, and there he was. That small part of her heart that had been whispering to her gave a little leap and she quietly imagined shushing it like she would Marlene. It had no business leaping at the sight of this man. He had never even said her name. He probably wasn’t the one.

Which saddened her the tiniest bit because everything about him wonderful.

James had been going into the flower shop at least twice- sometimes four times- a week for the past five weeks. Originally it was only to buy some flowers for a visit to his mum’s. But then he met Lily and he was head over heels for her.

“Can I be honest?” he asked the third time he went. She was ringing up his purchase- a bouquet of tulips- and she looked up at him with a sort of startled expression on her face. This was more than they’d ever talked before other than the normal polite pleasantries.

“You don’t like the tulips? I knew red didn’t seem like your color, how about some nice white roses or hyacinths maybe?” she trailed off, looking at him expectedly.

He stared at her dark red hair, falling gently from its tie and fought hard not to say, red is my favorite color.

“I really don’t have a need for this many flowers. I just like seeing you.” He blurted out instead. Lily had laughed at this and told him that they have plenty of other options and he can buy single flowers instead if he’d like to.

So he started to come more often. And flirt more often too. Sometimes he’d buy a single flower to keep in a slender vase in his flat. Others he’d buy a whole bouquet to bring to his mum. Remus and Sirius would laugh whenever he came home with more flowers.

“Why haven’t you told her your name yet?” Remus asked one night.

“I don’t know,” he mused. “I guess it just feels so nice. I don’t want it to be ruined when I don’t get that feeling and know she’s not my soulmate.”

“But you hope she is,” Sirius mused. “You know her name because it’s on her badge right? So why not say it and see how she reacts?”

James decided to do just that. He entered the flower shop and found her arranging some flowers, talking quietly to herself. He realized that he loved that she did that and it made him want to kick himself. How could he fall in love with all the little things about her? What if it wasn’t mean to be?

But when she turned around and smiled at the sight of him it made his heart melt. It had to be her.

Lily quirked an eyebrow at him and he realized he had been staring awkwardly at her for too long. So he cleared his throat again and gestured lamely at the sunflower in her hands. “Is that one spoken for?”

“No, would you like this one today?” When he nodded, she laughed and started walking to the till to ring him up. “You’re acting awfully strange, cat got your tongue?”

“Just have something on my mind.” Lily nodded like she knew the feeling. Before he knew it he had paid and she was handing him his flower. She had even wrapped the end in a bit of brown paper and tied a ribbon around it. His fingers brushed hers when he took it and her sharp inhale of breath matched his own.

He had to stop doing this. It was now or never. But as he took a deep breath to say her name, she suddenly said, “Have a lovely day, James.”

She had known his name for a week. It was the day he had finally not had enough cash and used his card to pay for a particularly expensive arrangement.

“We’re sending it to my mate Sirius’ mum with a note wishing her a happy birthday,” he crowed.

“That’s very nice of you.” She peered at his card while he distractedly patted the flowers. James. Such a lovely name, it fit him stupidly well.

“Oh no it isn’t, she hates roses and is allergic to daisies. But don’t worry, she’s a complete arse- an awful woman who totally deserves it.”

Lily had almost said his name then and there to get it over with but she had been so amused by his stories. It was so easy to get caught up in the dream of being with him always and getting to meet these hilarious friends of his that she hadn’t wanted it to end.

After a few days of seeing him and still not saying it, Mary and Marlene had convinced her that she had to do it the next time she saw him. She agreed, partly because she didn’t think that she’d have to see him so soon. But she wasn’t one to go back on her word so she took a deep breath and did it, her finger tips still tingling from where they had brushed his.

At first she thought the look on James’ face was just confusion over the fact that she somehow knew his name. But then it was like his whole body tensed up and as she looked closer at his hazel eyes, she saw his pupils dilate. She wasn’t exactly sure but it almost looked like he was leaning toward her- as though some invisible force was pulling him toward her. He gazed intently at her with a face full of burning emotion and Lily’s heart started beating even faster. Every hair on her arms stood up because she knew that lightning had struck him and was coming for her next.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do it so suddenly,” she said quietly as she stepped out from behind the counter. James slowly took her hand in his and pulled her closer.

“I wouldn’t trade it for anything, Lily” he said as he slowly brushed his lips to her forehead.

As soon as he said it her body felt like it was electrified. She felt like everything inside her may burst. She wanted to kick herself for avoiding this feeling for so long. From the moment she met him she had known and now she couldn’t believe she had ever doubted the possibility that he was meant for her.

Lily gazed up at James’ beaming face and her heart leapt with joy. This time, it whispered “home.”

[elainescookingforthesoul]

TRANSCRIPT for Episode 1.05 “Rebecca’s Churros” (PART 1/2) 

ACT I

[INTRO MUSIC]

ELAINE: Good evening and welcome back to the podcast! I'm happy to report that this fun way of posting new and clear recipes for a post-nuclear society has--and I hope you'll forgive this phrasing--blown up! We now have five whole episodes! Who knew we would be around for this long? Certainly not me, most medical doctors, or the provisional government that is for certain. Listeners, as I contemplate this incredible expansion, I'm reminded of how cells divide...How some unknown surge of energy created two of something from just one. This fruitful mutation repeated again and again. Along the way grew garden eels and goblin sharks. Condors and the common crow. Humpback whales and human beings. And just like this humble cooking podcast, a great many strange evolutions will continue to occur because of unprecedented amounts of radiation. Yes, as fallout from those fateful missile exchanges continues to seep through the earth's surface, I think it's fair to say the mere fact that life continues at all is a pretty strange and wonderful thing. One thing I'm looking forward to dividing is the portions of this delicious recipe we're working on today. I am so excited to welcome you back to the fifth episode of Elaine's Cooking Podcast for the Soul. I'm your host Elaine Martínez. Let's get cooking.

ELAINE: But before we can begin, please join me in welcoming today's guest and co-host, Rebecca Heimlin. 

REBECCA: Thank you for having me, Miss Elaine! Or should I say doctor?

ELAINE: Well, while we are situated here at my place of work, the LA Dental Clinic, I'm technically off the clock. Elaine will do just fine.

REBECCA: This place is very...calm.

ELAINE: Why, thank you for saying so, Rebecca. It was between charcoal and lead grey for the color of the dental chairs here, and I think I made the right call, too.

REBECCA: You went with...char--?

ELAINE: Lead grey.

REBECCA: Lead grey, yes. Lovely.  

ELAINE: It hides spills and stains really well. That's why we've got the hot plate set up carefully upon the seat here, with a series of tools splayed out on the movable side tray.

REBECCA: It's really nice, Elaine. I feel like I'm about to perform a root canal on this recipe, haha.

ELAINE: Now, Rebecca, we met a few days ago when I was taking out the trash and you were biking down the alleyway. 

REBECCA: That's right. It's the fastest and most discreet way to get places these days. Plus, sometimes you can find some good things. 

ELAINE: You don't say. Like what?

REBECCA: Well, last week I found a really good armchair, with just one little seam ripped and the stuffing popped out. I just pushed it back in, stitched it right up, and put a corduroy patch over it. Now it's the happiest little chair.

ELAINE: Very nice. What else?

REBECCA: Oh, what else. Um...Oh! I found a really great water heater! I mean, the pipe was busted, but I just soldered that baby back together and then figured out a way to connect my hand generator right into it so now I can take hot showers in a hundred percent non-contaminated water! Maybe the only household in LA that can.

ELAINE: Oh my. We haven't had clean hot water in this county since...well, since the first warhead touched down in the Valley a few months ago, right?  Very impressive. Anything else notable found in the alleyways on your bike rides?

REBECCA: You, of course.

ELAINE: Aw...

REBECCA: I mean, I was hoping you were throwing out some old bread--

ELAINE: Which I wasn't--as we all know bread is currently very illegal.

REBECCA: Right. But then we got to talking, and somehow it came up that I was headed home to make some churros.

ELAINE: And that's why you're here with us today!

REBECCA: That's right! We're making up some classic churros. My daughter memorized this recipe from her home-ec binder. She was in middle school before all this...unpleasantness went down. Anyway, recently, every morning, afternoon, and evening is churros churros churros. 

ELAINE: I think that's very sweet that she wants to cook for you.

REBECCA: They are very sweet. That's the problem. You're about to get a new patient, I'm sure of it.

ELAINE: Yes, for those who have not had this treat before the missiles, churros are basically fried tubes of dough covered in raw sugar and cinnamon. 

REBECCA: Yeah, I guess they're probably not the healthiest now that I hear it out loud. But, hey, life is short, right?

ELAINE: And getting shorter every minute! Well, what do you say we get started then?

REBECCA: I say, let's do it!

[CREAK]

ELAINE: I'm just arranging the overhead light so we can see better.

REBECCA: Great. So I noticed you have a small-ish pot here.

ELAINE: It's my favorite and also only one-quart saucepan, yes.

REBECCA: And I also see a mixing bowl and a rubber spatula, wonderful.

ELAINE: Yes, here at Elaine's Cooking Podcast for the Soul, everything is top of the line...or it was at some point in time.

REBECCA: Excellent! You've prepared a lovely cooking space, and I've brought you our ingredients.

ELAINE: Let's take a look. Salt, sugar, cinnamon...I also see flour, vegetable oil and canola oil. Oh my. Two types of oil. These are fancy churros.

REBECCA: Oh, you flatter me. These are really just basics you can get at the weekly ration swap, or may even be just hanging out in the pantry of whoever's home you're bunkered down in. Check it out! One person's cherished treasures is another person's looted goods.

ELAINE: You also brought a thick Ziploc bag and a small paper sack.

REBECCA: True, those will come into play later. For now, would you mind showing me how to turn on this contraption?

ELAINE: I think I can manage that. This thing we have arranged on the seat is a handy old propane-powered hot plate. It's been a little finicky lately, so let me just see if I can...

[GAS CLICKS SEVERAL TIMES]

ELAINE: Hm, it's not engaging--

[HUGE WHOOSH OF GAS/FLAME ENGAGING]

REBECCA: Oh!

ELAINE: Ah!

ELAINE: Just a medium-sized ball of flame there. Had that gas on for a little too long before igniting. I should know better. Ha ha. Oh, danger can be silly sometimes, right?

REBECCA: I'll see if I can get that in working order for you after the show. In the meantime, in this small pot goes one half-cup of potable water. I believe you said you would have that prepared? 

ELAINE: Certainly. Going in.

[GLUG AND SIZZLE OF WATER]

REBECCA: Wonderful! Next we add in one tablespoon of both white sugar and vegetable oil, and then a pinch of salt. Then we bring it to a boil--like it is right now okay wow.

ELAINE: Little baby cooks fast! Sometimes even I struggle to keep up with her!

REBECCA: Okay we'll turn this heat way way down. Maybe off. Normally that part takes the longest.

[FLAME SPUTTERS OFF]

ELAINE: Nice, right? What's next, Rebecca?

REBECCA: Great. So now we'll just pour this boiled water mixture into the big bowl here.

[WATER MIX POURS]

REBECCA: And we're going to gradually mix in a half-cup of flour with this handy rubber spatula.

ELAINE: Let's say while you fold in the flour, I'll wash out this pot in the hand sink in the back room. We'll let our listeners have a little break and enjoy a small ad in the meantime. How does that sound to you, Rebecca?

REBECCA: Sounds perfect. I'd love to see if I still have eyebrows from that small fire ball we unleashed.

ELAINE: Lovely. Listeners, I'm once again asking you to stay very still for the duration of the break. You never know who is out there scanning the thermal print of your body's movements through closed doors. We'll be right back.

[MUSICAL RIFF]

END OF ACT I

INTERLUDE/AD BREAK

This week's episode is brought to you by the Los Angeles Ration Swap!  Located at the long-abandoned car wash at 8th and La Brea, the weekly ration swap is where you can exchange the rations allotted to you by your district with others! Are you Silver Lake residents tired of your weekly dose of shoegaze albums? Trade seven or eight to a fella in Venice who is given more Tajin seasoning than he knows what to do with. Folks in West Hollywood are rumored to be overflowing with coconut water, so maybe our friends in Long Beach feel like trekking up to trade their verified wealth of Zappin' Apple Sour Punch Straws!  Remember, the Ration Swap is overseen by the provisional government's horde of Ad Ministers, so martial law abides. That means: No bread and no complaining. Come on down to 8th and La Brea! The LA Ration Swap: Where your scavenged garbage is another person's treasures. Now back to the show.

[MUSICAL TRILL]

[saffrongamer]

Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg Review Script

*To be edited and slightly trimmed down*

*Will be very different after voice-over, video, and final cuts are made*

When I was growing up in the early 2000s I rarely had any exposure to many big game mascot franchises. The only ones I had seen were Mario 64 and pokemon at my cousin’s house or my sonic 3 & Knuckles CD for our family computer that used keyboard controls. And there’s no way in hell my tiny little hands would be able to reach any sort of playability on that PS/2 port windows XP nightmare dinosaur. Nooo, the only thing I really played as a kid was Spyro the Dragon on the playstation 1.

If you’re old enough to remember anything before the Nintendo Wii, then you probably remember going down to your local walmart or target and trying the demos for the latest video games.

You know,

looking directly up,

at a 90-degree angle,

with an impossibly short cable,

trying to play a children’s game. (echo in the background: WHY?  LIKE WHAT THE FU-” *cut to next clip.*

Now I’m sure it sounds like I’m just rambling, and don’t worry I’ll get to that point, but I wanted to share my magical 2003 experience with one of my favorite games. The gamecube demo had a special disc on it. This magical little disc had several games and trailers to distract kids and fathers while mom goes and picks out some socks for tomorrow's Sunday Mass. For the older crowd, this preview disc had games like Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell, Soul Calibur 2, and Viewtiful Joe. While the kids they had Sonic Adventure DX and Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg. Of course, I chose the Boy who Hatched: Billy. Hey, I was a little kid, I saw colors, a silly name, and a chicken suit. What more could peak my interest?

So I gave it a try. And I died. I died a lot. The demo starts by having you roll down a curvy path to the beach. I constantly fell into the water. I don’t even remember how far I got before I had to stop. As mom called me away, I felt a mix of disappointment and longing for more on top of my terrible neck pain.

And so I forgot about Billy and his Egg rolling adventures for the next few years. By then I had my own Gamecube and several games for it like Mario Sunshine, Sonic Heroes, and Pokemon Colosseum. Every time dad and I would go to our local gamestop, I would poke through the games and see if I could find anything. Dad would try to speed me along by suggesting a game, and I usually would have turned down whatever he chose. Until one day he grabbed billy hatcher, not because it was at a wicked good price or that he knew I would love it. He just was getting my attention with it because he liked to call me a chicken as a kid and he knew it would rile me up.

So of course, I bought it and took it home with me. First thing that got my attention was that it supported multiplayer. As the older brother I was naturally used to thrashing my younger sisters in mario party, so what was another game to feed my dominance as the eldest child? My sisters and I loved it.

We rolled around on eggs,

collecting fruit,

hatching the eggs,

collecting animals,

attacking each other with the animals after spending an hour on one round

Basically Ark: Survival Evol-*T-Rex Roaring clip*

We had names for a few of them too. We knew some of their names from the manual, but we called this one Chelk, Bunnybird, Lion, Sharky, Ostrich… We weren’t very creative children.

I guess the point I’m trying to convey is what this game was for me and my siblings and how much we enjoyed it. I was never able to get super far in the main game cause I was a kid and I sucked at video games that weren’t Spyro the Dragon or Pokemon Ruby.

So what was the reason for that build up? Why did I ramble about quality family time with a video game about kids rolling around eggs? I don’t know. I don’t have a direct focus for this video. But I would like to talk about what I think of the billy hatcher game now that I’m an adult.

So Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg… How do I begin this? You’re a young blonde boy Billy who’s overslept for his outing with his friends. He and his friends see a small chick that is being attacked by a crow, so Billy beats the fuck outta it with a stick. It is then revealed that the chick is actually the Chicken God of MorningLand. Billy and his friends are then taken to the new world to be the chosen heroes. I guess this is a new approach to the Isekai genre, so move over SAO and No Game No Life Billy’s coming to take over.

After donning the hero’s rooster outfit, Billy Hatcher and his friends Rolly Roll, Chick Poacher, and Bantam Scrambled set off to free MorningLand from the evil crows.

Each level until the final boss is structured in the same method. With a few varied level challenges moved around. You arrive in the new level with a hearty “Let’s Go!” and set off to find the trapped chicken elders, roll them over fruit, and then hatch them to obtain this game’s power star; an emblem of courage. The next level will always be a boss fight. This is what I’d usually consider what a developer would have put into place in order to keep the game kid friendly. Like allow a child to do what they’re able to do and then beat the game for their own success. While the older crowd can appreciate value in getting all of the mcguffins and beating all of the challenges. But that didn’t really happen. You see. There’s only about 6 levels. You need about 20 or so emblems to enter the final level. So if you try to move onto the final level, the game will spit you back to the stage select after you’ve trudged your way through the sand stage until you have 20 emblems. Therefore, since you only have about 12 emblems, you’ll need to go through the stages to pick some levels. Now the structure for the other stages follows a mismatched order of this for a total of 8 emblems for each stage: collect X amount of giant coins, kill 100 crows, race an NPC, find and free the 7 caged chickens, and 1 or 2 actually creative levels for that stage. 3 of the stages have you save your captured friends before they’re blown up for it’s level 4. Then allows you to play as your friends. I always liked playing Bantam as a kid cause I thought he could grab ledges better.

Stages also follow the Sonic stage tropes we all know; Forest, Pirate, Volcano, Ice, Circus, Desert, and Chicken Heaven...

Once you reach the final level you dont need to free any chicken elders, you just travel to the final boss. And I’m sorry if this is your favorite childhood game, but this final boss is terrible. And it hurts any sort of story conclusion the game was trying to have. Your final boss is I believe named Dark Raven. You use a mechanic they taught you earlier in the level in order to beat his first form. You must roll over a dark patch on the ground until it is completely gone. You dont need to get all of the circles cleared, just the one. And believe me, you’re gonna have a hard time with this. The game wants the whole circle gone with not a single pixel left otherwise the circle reforms and damages you. This becomes incredibly frustrating when there are more circles placed down and you can’t tell which circle had which darkness. This is all going on while this snarky asshole raven watches you aimlessly roll around in front of him. His final form is just another giant raven, but “spookier” I guess? At first you can’t really do anything to him and the bird just rips off your chicken suit. But then Chicken God steps in and gives you some good ol’ divine intervention with a new chicken suit. But this one has a fancy light effect thing going on. Anyways now you must dodge the raven attacks and wait for the most damning mechanic of all to screw you over. You need to stand in the direction of the raven. Wait for it to fire a ball of light at you, press the B button at the perfect frame to catch it, and then beat the fuck outta it to finish him off. I died so many times to this thing just because I missed the perfect frame grab. You have zero room for error on this one.

After you save morning land the whole chicken world sings your praise and peace returns. But now we can talk about the interesting part of the game; the gameplay mechanics. Once billy has an egg his mobility is staggering.

You can press A to jump

Tap A again to bounce jump off the ground

hold A for a ground slam

press B to smash the egg down in front of you,

Hit R in mid air to do an air dash in the direction of your choosing

Press B on the ground to roll your egg forward and watch it boomerang back to you

Press R to accelerate yourself for an egg dash

Press A while you’re dashing for a long jump to fling yourself super far

These abilities can be super well executed with the stage design allowing you to travel extremely fast and perform nifty combos.

Each stage is littered with eggs of all kinds. They either have an animal inside to help you, or a power up. You don’t need them for about 95% of the game. They’re pretty useless. You just need to use your egg to kill things. And you only need the animals for 5% just to solve a few level gimmicks or wall blockings. The power ups are pretty pointless outside of multiplayer. Sorry if that cracks your egg.

But I still love the jester hat, please don't hate me.

Each level has 5 chick coins for each stage. These are a neat thing to hunt for, but are ultimately pointless. They allow you to use that level’s sonic egg that would have been normally unobtainable. These eggs hatch into none other than big name Sega characters. These are also pointless. They’re just the normal animal powers copy/pasted onto sonic, Nights, Chu chu rocket, and PSO character models. They’re a neat thing to see when they appear in multiplayer, but they’re no more helpful than other eggs.

Which brings me into the best aspect of the game; the multiplayer. You and your friends can play in either a death match with stock or just hatch animals. However, the animal hatching only goes to a pre-set amount of points. Which you can just steal and win instantly by killing your friends. Kinda just turns into another just deathmatch. And when the screen is all cluttered from splitscreen, it feels difficult to control the camera properly. Why do I like this gamemode again? Oh yeah, nostalgia…

Scattered throughout each boss level is a special egg that allows you to demo a small downloadable game. When you connect your GBA via a cable to your Gamecube you can play several games. Easy and Hard Chicken Shoot, NiGHTS, Chu Chu Rocket, and Puyo Puyo Pop.

Chicken shoot is bad, its just a terrible top down game where billy must roll an egg over some crows. Hard isn’t hard at all. NiGHTS is entertaining, I have no experience with the games yet, but I probably should give them a shot. I can’t do chu chu rocket since I’m a little slow, but my sister is surprisingly good at the game. But puyo puyo pop was great. Lining up colored dots to clear the screen against another player is very satisfying. It reminds me of pokemon puzzle league for the Nintendo 64. I probably should get the new game for the switch…

*GBA SP joke clip*

Last thing I want to discuss is why I think this game might have been  so important for Sega when it came out. It was the first full game and original IP developed by Sonic Team for another system that wasn’t a port of a previous release. Sure they probably wrote “from the creator of sonic the hedgehog” on the cover just to push sales, but Yuji Naka’s name might not work as well as it did 10 years ago. His latest title was Rodea the Sky Soldier for the Wii & Wii U which I think deserves its own video at some point. This game was exclusively available on the Gamecube while Sonic Heroes, which released a few months later, was multiplatform. And hell, I’d rather play this game than Sonic heroes any day. And the reason why is so important, is because it was during the era 2 years after the dreamcast was discontinued and Sega went permanently 3rd party. I don’t want to talk your ear off about the 90s and the “console wars”, you’ve heard that all a thousand times before. But since then, Sega has created a variety of games that are only possible because of this relationship they’ve obtained with nintendo. Fans finally got the mario and Sonic olympic games series, and while I’m not remotely interested in them they must be doing well if they keep publishing them. But we also got Sonic colors in 2009, which is a fantastic game. And while some of the sonic games on the wii U were… lackluster, Nintendo paid for the development of Bayonetta 2 from Platinum for the Wii U. A series that sega had zero interest in funding. I could keep rambling on about them even slapping in the the gba demo download functionality, Sonic getting put into smash bros, or whatever nonsense I could come up with. But I just wanted to lament about one of my favorite childhood characters.

So that’s what I think of Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg. A lovable young boy with the ability to roll eggs. Sure, the game is littered with issues and I might only like it because of nostalgia. But I think it’s an amazing platformer nonetheless. Give it a try if you ever get the chance. I’d like to hope for a sequel, but the game’s poor sales have probably doomed any chance of that ever happening. But if you ever want to play as the boy who hatched in another game, he’s playable and makes cameos in Sega Superstars, Sonic and Sega All stars racing and racing transformed, Sonic Riders and Sonic Riders Zero gravity.