#((but id like to have some more not just chit chat based ones too))

[dysfunctionalmaki]

To Realize

Main Masterlist

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Stark!Reader

Summary: Natasha's been connecting all the dots about how she feels about you, it's up to her to how she'll handle the situation.

A/N: This was supposed to be a oneshot until... I wanted to base it on the whole Black Widow movie :"))

Warnings: none, let me know if there's any.

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Your last interaction with your father didn't go well, he simply told you that Secretary Ross is now after you and Natasha after helping Steve, and Bucky to get in the Quinjet while T'challa was after them.

Quickly tackling the king of Wakanda on the ground, while Natasha shot something at him to give Rogers and his friend time to take off, as soon as the jet flew away, you removed your arms that are restraining him.

"Your father will hear about this, and you too Miss Romanoff." The exact words that came out of T'challa, and now you're on the run with Natasha, considered as a global fugitive.

Your father looked at you with disappointment when he mentioned that Ross will be chasing you and the latter, you looked at Natasha before she took your hand and leading you out, taking you to who knows where.

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"You miss your daddy?" Natasha spoke while driving, you chuckle at her words then resting your head against the car window. "Hmm, kinda, so what are we doing here in Norway?" You ask the latter.

"Well, you've noticed that Ross is after our asses after assaulting the King of Wakanda, and helping Steve and Barnes escape the airport, I believe we should lay low, right?" She propped her elbow by the window, resting her head on her knuckle as she drives with one hand. "Oh? I didn't know that." You replied sarcastically, making Natasha roll her eyes.

"What I mean is, why Norway of all places?" Now you're kindly asking, arms crossed over your chest and slowly drifting off to sleep, exhausted after hours of traveling, without Daddy's private planes, sports car, and Quinjet also.

Natasha noticed how your voice softens, a long yawn coming out of your mouth, and quickly glancing at you. "Ross has no jurisdiction here, his boys would stay away from here for the time being." She answered, you softly nodded and replied with an 'okay' almost a whisper with how silent it was.

In a split second, you're already fast asleep at the passenger seat, both arms hugging yourself and your head resting against the window. Nat maintained her eyes on the road as she attempts to reach for a blanket she stashed in the backseat, after few shifts in her place, the Russian managed to grab the cloth.

She gently placed the soft blanket over you, and now focusing herself on driving, for some reason, she has always felt this warm feeling in her heart when she's alone with you, adoration maybe?

Your peaceful state while you're in deep slumber, and hearing your soft snores as she admires the view of the landscape, she would offer everything she has just to stay like this most of the time.

The thought caught her off-guard, why would she want to spend all of her time with her friend's daughter? She shrugged the thought off from her mind, she knows what love feels like, she felt it with Bruce until Hulk decided to drive off somewhere they won't find him.

She did get sad because of it, but she chose to move forward and move on, successfully removing any romantic feelings for Banner, focusing on her work as an Agent and an Avenger.

But why is she feeling this way with you? Her heart melts when she sees you getting all excited when you've successfully upgraded your techs, how she would automatically smile when her eyes would catch you smiling, and how she feels warm when you're there to ease her mind when a mission didn't go as planned.

She's now connecting the dots, using the silence and peace surrounding her, she got time to think about herself and her feelings towards Tony Stark's daughter.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

After half an hour of the drive, you slowly wake up from your nap, looking around the surroundings you're in the middle of the woods, Natasha's still driving. "Good uhh... Evening?" You greeted Nat with your groggy voice.

Natasha stopped the car beside the safehouse, which is a caravan and you don't mind, you can't really call your father to get you a 5-star hotel to stay in. "Did you manage to replenish your energy?" She asked, unbuckling her seat belt and you did the same.

Getting out of the car, she has her gun out and you also have one on your hand, staying alert until both of you heard a loud snore in the room. Natasha immediately returned to her relaxed posture before heading into where the sound belongs, and she found her contractor sleeping.

Kicking his foot that is off the bed, the man immediately woke up. "You're sleeping in my bed." Natasha commented, "I'm not even under the covers." He replied, then his eyes trail at you, awkwardly looking away noticing that the two seemed close.

"I've got what you asked for, fake IDs, drivers licenses, and some VISAs, also for Miss Stark too, just like what you've told me to do." He says as he handed out the fake identifications to Natasha, while reading, the Russian frowned upon what she just read. "Really? Fanny Longbottom?"

"That is a legitimate name." He defended himself, them Natasha handed your fake IDs, taking a good look at them and you're amazed about how real they seem to be. "Thank you...?" You softly spoke.

"Rick, Rick Mason." He introduced himself, and you shook his hand also introducing yourself, with little chit-chat soon after the man left leaving you and Natasha alone.

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An hour has passed it's already dark out, you're currently sitting by the front door, knees up to your chest, and you already felt homesick, Natasha's company is nice honestly, but the feeling of being far away from your father and home sucks.

Natasha looks at you while you're way too busy gazing at the woods, she knows you aren't used to this type of setup, running away from authorities, and far from home, she felt bad for you.

She walks up behind you, making sure you're aware of her presence before placing a hand on your shoulder. "I'm going to watch a movie on my laptop, feel free to join me, I'm also eating the ice cream we bought at the convenience store earlier." She softly spoke before leaving you alone.

Minutes after, you finally stood up from where you are sitting and closing the front door, almost dragging your way to Natasha. Two bowls of ice cream in front of her, and her laptop already on, she was waiting for you.

You placed yourself beside her, head resting on her shoulder then she plays the movie on the screen, lazily taking a spoonful of the cold treat in your mouth, and eyes glued on the screen, but you weren't paying attention to the movie, you're spacing out.

"Hey, Y/N? Are you okay?" Of course, not, Natasha knows damn well you aren't okay, she thought that it's a dumb question. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?" You answered just like your father, she paused the film and causing you to look at her. "No, you're not okay, and that's okay." She says before taking you into her arms.

You're surprised actually, Natasha isn't usually the one who initiates physical contact but here she is, her arms wrapped around your body. You needed this, you needed to feel home and somehow being hugged by Natasha feels like it.

Burying your face at her shoulders then you knew you're melting in her arms, it almost brought the tears out of you, as if her touch is enough the lift the burden you've been feeling.

Natasha feels like home.

You try not to think anything about the affection she just gave, but damn, you think you'd go batshit crazy if you won't get to experience this again.

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Let's be clear here, you've had a crush on Natasha while she's still Natalie, then as soon as Fury revealed that she is some secret agent, you were so amazed that you started liking her, though she didn't contact after that.

You weren't part of the Avengers initiative, but you did join them in the battle of Sokovia, but she and Banner have a thing going on, so you've decided to set those feelings aside. Which you successfully did for a few months, and after Bruce flying who knows where maybe you can make a move?

So you did, you would jokingly flirt around Natasha, and your father would give a questioning look then you slowly back away, but you were also a great friend to Nat, it's just that you can't seem to get all romantic with Natasha.

Just as much of a playboy your father is, that's all his, you suck at this type of thing, so Nat probably thought you're just a caring and affectionate person.

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You gently pull away from Natasha's grasp, and she looks at you with her emerald eyes. "Better?" She asked, placing a hand on your cheek softly caressing your skin. "Much better, thank you." She smiled with your answer, the next thing you know is that you're way too close to her, and you're looking at her plump lips.

This would be a perfect time to make a move.

You hold the back of her hand that is on your cheek, slowly closing in, and Natasha is leaning closer, so near that you could feel each other breathing, just when your lips were about to touch hers... the power died.

Nat cleared her throat and awkwardly moving away, removing her hand away from you and she stood up. "I'm just going to check the power generator." She says before going outside.

Her face turned red as soon as she was out of your sight, she got way too vulnerable with you, she almost kissed you but she sure knows she's going to like it but no, not at a time like this.

She tried to get the power back on, only to find that there's no more fuel in the generator, she came back inside finding you eating ice cream in the corner, and probably waiting for her to come back.

"I'm going to a gas station, do you want to come with me?" She asked, you nodded before getting off your ass and bringing yourself into her car, there's this awkward tension between the two of you, and as soon as she started driving, the silence swallowed the two of you.

"Can I turn the radio on?" You asked her, she simply nodded while eyes fixated on the road, you played the radio, and Sia's Cheap Thrills came on. "Damn, even here? When is this song going to die?" You commented.

Natasha taps her fingers on the steering wheel according to the beats, despite hearing the song over and over whenever you would turn on the radio, you still liked it.

Midway through the song, you felt chills on your body, and as soon as you look at the window beside you, suddenly you see an RPG heading towards the car.

"Nat—" Before she could react it has already hit the car causing an explosion, now the vehicle is hanging on the edge of the bridge, and with one wrong move it'll head straight down to the water. "Ooh, fuck that hurts." Hissing as you try to collect yourself and trying to fight the headache it caused.

Natasha on the other hand is in pain and boy, she's mad. "I'm pretty sure Ross has no jurisdiction here, and you should know that I'm a better shot when I'm pissed off," Nat spoke before firing few bullets at the person, you look at her and biting your lip, finding her hot.

"Wow, that's hot..." You spoke under your breath but Natasha heard, glaring at you. "Really? At a time like this?" She says, before heading out of the car when you tried to get out Nat stopped you. "How long can you hold your breath?" She asked. "Last time I beat Sam it was a good 4 minutes and a half."

"As soon as this psycho comes close enough, I'll push you into the water, it's not after us." She says you look at her as if she's speaking lies. "Nat, I'm not leaving you here–" before you could protest, you felt her lips against yours it was quick but you know damn well, that Natasha kissed you.

"I'll meet you down there, I promise." She says before a shield comes charging towards her, and managed to avoid it, yet it hit the car, now you're falling off the bridge and you suddenly noticed a small case on her hand.

You quickly got out of the car before it could hit the water, then you swam heading to safety where the one who ambushed wouldn't see you.

Closing your eyes hoping that Nat would come back to you in one piece, there's no way you'll let her die after kissing you, of course, you wanted to fight but your body just wouldn't.

You can't risk losing Natasha now.

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Next Part: To Remember

[adrenaline-roulette]

Four Eighths

Pairing: Four x Eight (Reader) Word Count: 5.5K+ Warnings: Language *Disclaimer, Hi everybody. I first of all would like to apologise to those who have been waiting for months for a new chapter, this chapter has been partially written since September, however in that time, my aunt passed away. It has hit me very hard, and during this time, I needed to take a step away from writing, to be with my family, and also to take time to look after myself and my mental health.  I’m doing better now, and with that means I am slowly updating my works which have been neglected as of late. So for those who are returning viewers of this series, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming back and waiting with me. And for those new to this series, welcome and I hope you stay with us. Much love to you all!

Chapters One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, and Nine can be found here! (That’s right baby, we’ve officially reached double digits for chapters!)

Chapter Ten: Darkest paradise I’ve ever seen

Flying into Noumea, your headphones pressed snuggly against your ears, you watch as miles upon miles of crystal blue ocean spans ahead of you. From just about every direction you look through the small aeroplane window, all you can see is blue. That is aside from the tiny speck on the horizon, which you can only assume is in fact, your destination. It seems awfully far away, and a part of you has managed to convince the less logical section of your brain, that you still have plenty of time before you arrive. Before the plan takes motion. Before shit goes down. Or you have months to continue planning your take down of the Lushnick’s…. But as you gaze out the window once more, the tiny speck growing ever larger, your rational mind takes over, reminding you that in less than two weeks, provided everything went according to plan, the Lushnick’s would be yours.

As the plane touches down at La Tontouta international airport, you await the captain’s departure announcement before standing up and stretching your cramping legs, feeling your joints pop, and muscles ache from having spent too long in one position. Once the initial rush of passengers have passed you, you reach up into the overhead compartments and retrieve the navy blue rucksack you had stowed up there. With the bag flung over your shoulder, you disembark the plane, and head towards the baggage carousel within the terminal. Within your rucksack, along with a few emergency items on the off chance your bags were lost, included five various ID cards, all hand made for you by One’s slightly shady yet reliable connection; a wad of Pacific Franc, the currency of New Caledonia, and of course your laptop. One had assured you that the apartment you would be using as a base had all the setup you required, however you felt more confident with your own computer, even just as a backup for an emergency. As you cross the tarmac, you recall the burner phone One had given you upon your departure, the only contacts held within were those of the Ghost’s, though knowing that you still have the ability to communicate with  your team before their arrival helped alleviate some of your nerves. Switching the phone off flight mode, you held it firmly in your sweaty palm, half expecting it to buzz to life with missed notifications, as it would if it were your true phone. The influx of notifications never come, there is however one which does buzz through. ‘Are you safe?’

You scan over the message again and again, reading just about every possible subtext into it within a matter of seconds, before finally, you take a deep breath in, hold it for ten seconds, then release. ‘It’s Four, don’t be so dramatic. He actually cares about you.’ You remind yourself, just as your thumbs tap against the phone keyboard. ‘Just landed. Collecting bags then heading to the apartment. Should be there within the hour.’ You reply, pocketing the phone again and keeping your eyes peeled for you luggage.

The phone vibrates again, but this time you ignore it, opting instead to find the Taxi rank now that you had procured your bags. On you way through the airport, you discard you boarding pass into a trashcan, saying a mental goodbye to the alias of Ginevra Connelly. Of course you still kept the ID card with Ginevra’s details in your bag just in case, but the aim was to only use each alias once. One for flying, one for working, and one for personal business. The others were just there if any unexpected events should arise. Once outside, you only need wait a few minutes before a taxi pulls up, the driver popping the trunk of the car for you to deposit your bags. Once the trunk is closed, you slide into the back seat, sitting directly behind the driver. “Bonjour.” The driver offers with a small smile, meeting your eyes in the rear-view mirror.

You smile gently back. “Bonjour.” You greet, before reciting off the address to the apartment in Noumea which One had insisted you memorise.

With a nod of his head, the taxi driver speeds off, either ignoring or simply disregarding all speed signs which he passed. As he drove like a bat out of hell, you check your phone once more. ‘That’s good. Glad you’re alright.’ Four had replied, earning a small smile to creep over your lips.

‘Well, the flight didn’t kill me. Can’t say the same about my driver though….’

‘Axe murderer?’

‘Nothing quite as exciting. Or at least, I didn’t notice an axe when I checked the trunk…. Just a crazy driver is all. You’ll see when you get here. It looks to be a trend.’

‘Can’t wait!’ Before a rapid second response of. ‘Stay out of trouble until I get there please?’

‘I promise.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Love yo-‘ You begin typing, before frantically deleting the characters. As much as you wanted to send the message, you just couldn’t quite bring yourself to do it. Something about sending those words, via a burner phone while you’re in a totally different country, just felt wrong. Perhaps that was the nerves of the mission talking? No matter, you would saver the phrase for when you saw Four in person.

You put your phone away after that, not trusting yourself to continue the conversation with the direction it was headed. You knew Four was still, not necessarily mad at you, but disappointed that you hadn’t told him of your early departure. You were also acutely aware of his fear for you being in a foreign country all alone. You were positive that if it hadn’t been for the sudden announcement of your leaving, then he would have tried much harder to convince you and One to let him arrive with you. Of course, deep down you knew that despite Four’s protective nature, he understood why he was unable to arrive with you, or with the others. But it didn’t stop him from disliking the plan any less.

The driver watches as you put your phone away and takes this time to engage you in the typical taxi, passenger chit chat. “Parlez-vous français?” He enquires, and it takes you a moment to comprehend what he had asked. You had a slight knowledge of the French language, but it was very, very basic.

“No sorry, I don’t speak French.” You offer with a half smile, shrugging lightly as you turn your attention to the scenery blurring past you.

“Ah, a tourist then. Here for a vacation, are you? He continues, drumming his fingers along the steering wheel as he changes lanes in what would be considered a highly illegal maneuver literally anywhere else in the World.

Deciding that if you looked out the window any longer you may become motion sick, you turn your focus to staring directly at the back of the drivers head. “Mhm, I’ve always wanted to visit, go snorkelling, maybe go for a ride on one of those glass bottom boats? Who knows!” You ramble on, though nothing you say is quite a lie. In truth, you had always wanted to visit Noumea, and were supposed to when you were thirteen. You were supposed to go on a cruise to the South Pacific Islands as a birthday present, however that never quite happened. You suppose in the long run, it’s a good thing you never came here as a child, if you had, then this mission may not be going ahead. Or at least not with you at the helm.

“My cousin owns a glass bottom boat, he runs tours every day. Here, take this card, it has his details.” He pulls a crinkled business card out of his shirt pocket, and passes it back to you. You take it graciously, taking a moment to read over it before stowing it away in your bag.

“Thank you.”

As you drive through the city, the driver points out the occasional tourist attraction, to which you nod and play along with the façade you had created. Most things he says go in one ear then out the other, but there is one which catches your attention. “Over the is the hospital. Might be good to know where that is just in case.” He offers with a grin, gesturing to the large building on your left.

Your head whips around to face that direction in an instant, eyes growing wide as you drink in the sight. “That’s the hospital…” You whisper, mouth going dry as you watch the building disappear into the distance behind you.

The rest of the drive is kept in relative silence, mostly on your part. Having finally seen your destination for this mission, it all suddenly felt so real. Inside that building, which should be used for good, were two of the most vile and wicked people you know to exist. They had nearly two weeks left before they met they’re match however, and that thought alone set a chilling grin on your lips.

*****

Once you arrived at the apartment you were faced with a serious problem, a lack of keys to the front door. Surely One should’ve thought of this, he owned the fucking place! “Well that’s just great. Now what?” You hiss to yourself, glaring daggers at the wooden door that currently separated you from your new, temporary home and work space.

Reaching behind, you fish around in your bag in search of your phone. Muttering swears beneath your breath, until finally your fingers clasp onto the cool, smooth device. Scowling at the screen as you scroll through the limited contacts, you press call against One. Standing with your back leaning against the front door, one arm folded across your chest, and your left foot tapping the ground impatiently.

“Don’t tell me you’re already in trouble.” One grumbles after the sixth ring. His words causing your sour mood to only worsen.

“No I am not.” You hiss, lowering your voice to a whisper as you hear voices out on the street.

“What do you need Eight?”

“I want to know how I’m supposed to get into the bloody apartment! There’s not fucking keys!”

There’s a pause on the line for a minute or two, and for the first time ever, you realise that you’ve rendered One, the fearless leader, utterly speechless. “The keys are on the table.” His voice is mumbled, and you barely catch what he says.

“I’m sorry, what was that now?”

One groans, and you can almost picture his frustrated face, perhaps he would even be pinching the bridge of his nose… “I said, the keys are on the table, inside the apartment.”

He sounds disappointed in himself, and rightly so. “Well, that’s helpful isn’t it?”

“Don’t get sassy with me missy.”

“Why not? This is your house isn’t it? Shouldn’t you have a set of keys with you?”

“It’s one of my houses..”

“That doesn’t make this any better.”

“Did you bring your lock pick?”

“Of course I did. The question is, which bag is it in….” You mumble, gazing around at the bags you had discarded by the door.

“I think you know what to do. Good luck kid.” There’s a grin to One’s voice now, and you have half a mind to tell him off for his stupidity, however before you get the chance, the line goes dead.

With a deep sigh, you resign yourself to do the only thing you can, break in. Well technically it wasn’t breaking in, not when you were supposed to be living here, though you imagine that logic may not stand up in court if someone were to catch you in the act.

Withing ten minutes, all of your bags lay open on the ground, items of clothing strewn about the place, as you had frantically searched the brown leather pouch which housed your lockpick tools. Upon finding it, you groan at the mess you had made, stuffing everything back in the bags haphazardly, you would deal with the unorganised mess later.

Gazing around, you double then triple check that there is no one around to see you. The voices on the street had long since faded away, leaving only the sounds of birds chirping, and the distant crash of waves.  Confident you’re alone, you bow over the door handle, and begin picking the lock. It occurs to you that perhaps this was One’s plan all along. After all, he was the one to provide you with said lock picking kit. You brush that thought off, and return to the task at hand, fiddling with the handle for roughly fifteen minutes until finally you hear a click. “Eureka!” You declare quietly yet triumphantly. The door swings open, and dusty air breezes out past you, causing you to cough and sneeze. Blimey, this place must’ve been closed up for months!

Inside the apartment, you don’t take too long looking around, you’ll have time for that later. You take note of where the master bedroom is, and claim that as yours by dumping your bags atop the bed, and seek out the bathroom. With everything in order as far as you could see, you take your laptop and bring it out into the main living area where what you can only assume is your area has been set up. There are three monitors set up on a large oak desk, which looked wildly out of place in the otherwise, holiday home themed house. The largest sitting in the middle of the desk, with two smaller screens on either side. It’s not a perfect set up, but it will work for what you need, and that’s all that really matters, especially considering most of your work would be done from inside the hospital.

Settling down at the makeshift study desk, you take a final moment to glance around the apartment, spotting a set of what you presume is house keys sitting on the dining table. “Well, at least One was right about where you were.” You mutter quietly, glaring at the object in question.

*****  

Infiltrating the hospital database took far longer than you had initially expected. Over the past few weeks, you had made practice runs of worming your way into other systems for different hospitals around the world, however at no point had you thought to test your access to the hospital you actually needed entrance to. “It can’t be any different to any of the others.” You surmise, squinting at the screen before you, elbows propped up on the desk, and chin resting on your interlocked fingers. Truth be told it wasn’t that much different, not in the scheme of things, however someone, and goodness knows who, had made the entire system nearly impenetrable! Key word being nearly. However, if there was one thing you had learned after years of sneaking your way into systems you shouldn’t, it was that no matter how tricky a program may first appear, there is always a way in! And this system was no different.

One pizza delivery and three energy drinks later, the start of a migraine -which was either caused by your frustration, or the copious amounts of caffeine- and you were finally in! The hospital was, in every sense of the word, yours. The possibilities, oh the possibilities! Your first task only took a few moments, scanning through encrypted lists until you came across the one which housed the contact details for all members of staff. The list consisted of the staff members name, followed by their position of work, contact number and email, and finally a next of kin. Truly, this list looked to have been composed specifically for you and your needs. Copying the details you required for a one Mister Frank Sea, and pasting them momentarily into a word document, you move onto your second task. Page upon page you read through, jumping between links and praying that perhaps this time you had found the correct page, you finally make it to the hospital security system. You blame your caffeinated jittery hands for how long it took you to find. Once in the system, you begin changing over a few simple details, nothing too extreme that could potentially be cause for concern if anyone were to see, but the changes you made were imperative to the mission. The contact name for the security recruitment agency remained the same, however you now deleted out the previous phone number, adding in One’s phone number as planned. Finally came task three, which you had been dreading since you woke up this morning. The guilt of what you were about to do had been gnawing at you all week. You weren’t a bad person, not really; you kept telling yourself, hoping that perhaps if you said so enough, it would be true. You feared sending this email would ruin Frank, that it would destroy him… ‘It’s just business.’ You can hear One telling you, his exact words after you had both come up with this plan. “It’s just business, I’m just doing my job. It’s for the greater good.” You whisper, your voice catching in your throat. You don’t give yourself another moment to dwell on things, and instead quickly write up your email on the address you had created specifically for the mission. The email informs Frank of his urgent presence being required in Scotland to discuss the legalities of his and his wife’s separation, and custody of his children. Holding your breath, you hit send, watching impatiently until the message had left your outbox. By the time Frank would arrive in Scotland, the company you had pretended to work for would be closed for three weeks due to renovations. He would have no way of contacting them to find out why his presence was required, and of course try as he might, there was no chance he would receive a reply to any of his emails to you. So for three weeks, he would stick it out at home, arguing with his wife, all while you take over for him at the hospital.

*****

Soft pinks and oranges had begun to coat the evening sky as dusk rolled in, and for the first time in years, Four found himself staring up at the sky, envisioning a future. A future which didn’t involve hurting or killing people, no matter how evil and vile they were. Just a plain, normal future. He didn’t quite know what had brought these thoughts upon him, they were the types of thoughts he had managed to banish into the deepest parts of his mind. In fact, the last time he had thought about a normal life, was shortly after Six had died. They all mourned him of course, but the reality of losing Six had weighed down on him greatly. And for close to three months, Four had seriously considered abandoning the Ghosts, and starting a fresh life far away from them. At the time though, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t leave the team. And besides, he had no where to go, and no one to run to. But now? Now was different, he had you. The two of you could run away together, leave the Ghosts, leave this life behind. Start over wherever in the world you wanted you, far away from One and his plans of revenge against those who had wronged the world….

He shook his head, the images of normalcy which had formed in his minds eye, fading away, just as the sun was. He couldn’t leave, not when this was the closest thing to a family he had had since he was a toddler. If there was one thing he knew for sure, you don’t abandon your family. His own parents had taught him that the hard way.

Carefully, Four pushed himself up from where he had been relaxing atop his trailer. His back was stiff after having been laid down for what felt like too long, but he paid it little mind. As he leapt down to the ground, a loud yell echoed throughout base.

“Will somebody answer my phone? I can’t get to it right now!” It was One, yelling at the top of his lungs from god knows where, his voice sounded muffled though.

Next came Five’s screamed reply. “Where are you then?”

“Garage!” One yelled back.

“Coming, I’ll get it!” Four watched as Five went darting across base, kicking up red dust in her haste.

For interests sake, Four made his meandering way towards the garage, just to see what was so urgent about this phone call, and why One couldn’t get it. He strolled in, hands in his pants pockets, and hood drawn over his head. His eyes darting between Five, who was reading from a script scribbled in an old notebook while on the phone, to One who’s feet were sticking out from beneath a silver Audi R8.

“Good afternoon, leader security how may I help you?” Five recited in what was either the worst or perhaps best Dolly Parton imitation Four had ever heard. “Oh sure, you need a new head of security? How soon do you need them to start?” There was a pause, and Four stepped further over to the Audi, titling his head to the left as he lifted a quizzical brow. “Asap? Well where are y’all located?... Oh I see, let me transfer you.”

“You alright down there mate?” Four smirked giving One’s foot a gentle kick.

“Yep, never better. Why do you ask?”

“Well it’s just, you’re only like, ten steps away from your phone… Not sure why you couldn’t get it yourself is all.” He shrugged, folding his arms across his chest, and rocking back on his heels.

One pauses for a few moments, selecting his next words carefully. “I just didn’t want to stop what I was doing midway through.”

Four crouched slightly, peering at the floor creeper One was reclined on beneath the car. One of the wheels had popped off entirely, while another on the same side was horrendously bent out of shape. “You’re stuck aren’t ya?”

“Yes I’m stuck.”

*****

Two hours later, your mobile rings with One’s caller ID flashing, grinning you answer with a bright smile. “Good afternoon, Leader security recruitment how may I help you?” You recite in an overly practiced voice, not that the person on the other end of the line could tell, but it sure made you feel better, knowing you weren’t about to trip over your own words. One had done just as was planned, and upon playing receptionist for the security company, had transferred the call directly to you, and now it was time to get yourself employed.

The female voice on the other end of the line begins speaking frantically, telling you about how the current head of security for her hospital had just left unexpectedly, and that they needed someone to fill in for him until they could find out when he would return.

“Ma’am, it will all be fine, I assure you. Now can you please tell me your company code?” You smile, while typing aimlessly into a word document. So long as the woman on the phone could hear you typing, you would not raise any suspicion, even if all you were typing was smiley faces. “I see, and this is a hospital based in Noumea New Caledonia, is that correct? – Mhm no problems at all. How soon do you require someone to commence?” You type out the few details she tells you which are actually important to you, before returning to the faces. “I will have to see who I have in area who may be able to assist you. One of contractors recently moved to the area I believe for a change of scenery.  May I put you on hold and see if I am able to call her?” The moment the woman agrees, you place the call on hold and laugh to yourself. The temptation to have an actual conversation with yourself just to keep the charade up is there, however considering as it had only been a few hours of you living alone, you felt you should at least attempt to keep the bouts of insanity to a minimum for now. “Hello, are you still there?” You ask a few minutes later.  “Anastasia Breaker will be available as of tomorrow morning, if you could please forward all details regarding her employment to the following email address, then she will see you in the morning.” The woman is nearly in tears as she thanks you, promising she would send the information within minutes. “Of course, no problems. Have a lovely evening, and once again, thank you for choosing leader security.”

As the phone goes silent, you stand up and stretch, raising your arms above your head. You’d done it, you were in. Or rather Anastasia was in, but no matter who’s name was on the contract, you were the one who would be doing all the work.

*****

For the next few hours, you read through the multiple emails which arrived for Anastasia Breaker, advising you of where to go tomorrow morning, and who you would be meeting upon your arrival. It was nothing too unusual, or anything unexpected, the only downside was that you had been requested to arrive at 6 am. To some that may be ok, normal even. But to you, a perpetual night owl, it felt like torture. After laying out your clothing for the following morning, to allow for a slight sleep in, you lay down in the double bed you had claimed as yours. You knew it would likely end up being shared once the others arrived, but for now, it was all yours. The lights had all been turned out, leaving you in near complete darkness. The only light was that of the shining silver moon, peering down on you through a forest of thick trees. Try as you might however, sleep seemed to escape you. Perhaps it was nerves of tomorrow and your new ‘job’, or maybe it was just the fact you were sleeping in a new bed. No matter the cause, after tossing and turning for nearly an hour, you eventually gave up. Sitting upright, you grab the burner phone off the nightstand, having left it beside you with an alarm on for the morning.

You stare down at the bare screen, so used to your own which was filled with various apps. On this phone however, there was nothing of interest to do. Your thumb hovered over your contacts, and you bite your lower lip in thought. You knew One would be furious if he found out you were using the phone as anything but emergency contacts and an alarm, but at the same time, you found yourself having a rather difficult time caring about him and what he thought while he was so far away. Finally, you press down on the contact, and listen to the phone ring on loudspeaker.

“Hello?” Four’s distinct voice carries through, and you feel a wave of comfort roll over you. His voice alone felt like home, and it almost frightened you to think that, especially considering how brief your relationship had been so far.

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Oh, Oh! I’m sorry love I had no idea. This number isn’t programmed into my phone, I genuinely thought it was a telemarketer or something!” He was rambling, and you could almost see the pale crimson blush which would be creeping up his neck and cheeks, as he too realised, he was rambling.

“It’s totally fine, I’m not really supposed to be calling you. But I needed to hear a friendly voice.”

“Who says you’re not supposed to call?”

“One.”

“Fuck him and his stupid rules!”

“I would really rather not.”

“You know what I mean, you idiot.” You can practically hear his eye roll through his words, and you can’t help but smile at that. At how well you know his mannerisms these days.  “How has day one gone? Everything going according to plan?”

You nod, before recalling that he can’t see you. “Yep, things seem to be rather smooth sailing for now. I’ll be starting at the hospital tomorrow morning, and from there I can get everything else set in motion.”

“That’s brilliant, at this rate it’ll all be over before we know it!”

You pause for a moment, resting the phone on the pillow beside your head. “Yeah, I suppose so.”

“What’s wrong hm? You don’t sound convinced?”

Rolling over, you lay flat on your back, staring up at the ceiling. “I suppose I’m just trying to come to terms with how quickly this is all happening, you know? Like, I feel it was just yesterday One announced who the targets were, and now suddenly I’m here? It’s all happening so fast.”

“I know exactly what you mean, I can’t quite wrap my head around it all either. But look at how far we’ve come. How far you’ve come! Remember that day when the targets were announced-“

“You mean the day I ran out of the briefing and nearly killed us both?” You interrupt, smirking slightly at the memory.

“Yes, that day. But look at you now, look at where you are! You’ve changed so much in such a short period of time. You’re far more prepared than any of us here at base are, and for us, this is either our second or third mission! For you, this is your first, and you’re already doing better than any of us could’ve imagined.”

“Do you mean that, or are you just saying it so I stop panicking?”

“I’ve never meant anything more in my life Eight, I promise.”

“Thank you, I – thank you.” You whisper, rolling to your side and looking down at the phone. You sigh deeply, closing your eyes tight before allowing them to slowly open. “Tell me something that no one else in the Ghosts knows about you.”

You hear him chuckle, a deep rumble which you wish you could wrap your arms around him and feel as it flowed through you. “Do you want something to laugh at?”

“Yes, I don’t want to cry tonight. Make it funny.”

Four hums to himself, and you curl around your pillow, cradling the phone near your chest. “Right, here’s one. Bet you didn’t know I have a criminal record as an arsonist!”

He sounds proud of himself, and for the life of you, you can’t fathom why. “You what now?”

“It was my first charge, long before the cops ever figured out I was stealing, which I had been doing for years before this occurred.”

“How long have you been a thief, Four?”

“A long while… But that’s a story for another time. This is about fire lord me!”

You groan, rolling your eyes at the nickname he had given himself, while leaving a mental note to ask him about his past one day, when you weren’t in the middle of a mission.

“I was maybe 15 or 16, and was with this girl who I thought was made of pure heaven. I practically worshiped the ground she walked on, and daydreamed about her all day every day. To her though, I was a kid who was a year or two younger than her, and she just loved the attention, not matter who it came from. I knew she only spent a month with each of her boyfriends, but naive young me thought that maybe I could convince her to be with me forever. Spoiler alert, that didn’t work out. One night I decided to surprise her when she came home from dance lessons, her parents were out of town for the week, and I figured I would make a romantic evening for the two of us, and would allow her to be my first.” He pauses for a moment, as if wanting to see if you wanted to hear where this was going.

“It’s fine Four, just keep telling the story.” You giggle, shaking your head softly at where this was all going.

“Well I got super fancy, ordered takeout because heaven knows I cannot cook, even managed to nick a bottle of champagne from the local liquor store. It was cheap nasty stuff now that I think about it, but at the time, I felt very grown up. I lit candles all over her townhouse, there were some in the kitchen, bathroom, bedrooms and even the kitchen. I think I went through an entire matchbook that night. So finally she gets home, and I’m nervous as hell. Legs jittery, forehead sweaty, and look the exact opposite of sexy like I had hoped for. She’s all smiles, and even thanks me for setting up a lovely evening.  After we eat, she steps outside to have a smoke, and I clean up in the kitchen. The next thing I know, she’s shouting from the front door, and then the smoke alarming is blaring throughout the house. I run outside, and find her staring up at the second floor at her bedroom window, where billows of dark smoke are seeping out. Turns out, she had a cat I didn’t know about, and the fucker knocked down one of the candles, it landed near her bedroom curtains, and the flames engulfed pretty much the entire room. Cops and firemen came, shockingly they didn’t believe me when I said it was the cat. And the fact that I had been in her home without her for so long didn’t help my argument either….”

“Oh my goodness, so you were actually innocent? The cat got you a record?” You laugh, pressing your palm to your forehead.

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up. That cat is the reason I don’t do romantic anymore.” He grumbled playfully.

“Aw, and why’s that? Cat got your tongue?!” You chortle, you were definitely borderline tired now, because to you, that was officially the funniest pun in the world.

“Oh dear, oh no…. Eight that was terrible, please never say anything like that again.”

“Aww, come on! It was funny!”

“No love, no it wasn’t.”

There’s no use in arguing the point, you knew you were funny and that was all that mattered. “Fine, I’ll stop with the cat puns especially seeing as you’re not feline it…”

‘You are very annoying, you know that right?”

“Of course, but it’s part of my appeal!”

“Whatever you say. But I do think You need some sleep, because you sound hella tired right now.”

As if on que, a yawn slips from your lips, giving away just how tired you now were. “You may be right.”

“Good night love, good luck tomorrow. I know you’ll be amazing.”

You smile at his words, tracing your finger along the edge of the phone. “Thank you. I’ll see you soon, ok?”

“Ok.”

You end the call, and place the phone back on the nightstand. As you allowed your eyes to drift shut, you can’t help but feel just that little bit more confident that things were going just as they were planned.

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Check out my masterlist for all my other writings

Chapter Eleven here!

[the-writing-dump-bin]

Happy Birthday

Okay, trying my first Fire Force story!

NSFW 18+ Takehisa Hinawa x female reader

[[MORE]]

Hinawa sighed, looking over the paper work he was doing. It sure was a quiet day; the alarm hadn't gone off yet with a potential infernal out on the loose. But he didn't want to jinx it.

The quietness was broken by Shinra and Arthur one upping each other. Then the girls came in, chit chatting about a show they all liked.

The pen in Hinawa's hand started to shake with annoyance. Today was his birthday and he wanted at least some peace and quiet while he did his work. His eyes glanced to the clock; 2:18 pm. A tiny part of him was hoping you would show up at base and surprise him, but then he remembered that he never told you when his birthday was.

You two had only recently started dating and there was still more to learn about the other and, to be honest, you haven't told him your birthday either. He spent a lot of time at the hall and only saw you occasionally due to his profession. Though he wasn't one to celebrate his birthday, he still wished he was spending it with you.

The bickering started to elevate, making Hinawa more frustrated. He seemed like he was going to snap at them, but was stopped when Obi placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Hinawa," he smiled. "Why don't you go home for the day. The paper work can wait."

Hinawa blinked, surprised by his captain's words. He had never sent him home like this. "But, Captain, what if an infernal pops up?"

Obi waved a hand to dismiss him. "Go home and relax. If something comes up, I'll let you know."

He was hesitant to leave at first, but then decided to call you and see if you wanted to do something for the afternoon. Calling your house first, there was no answer. He pouted and called your cell next. After a few rings, you picked up.

"Hello?"

"Y/N, its me."

"Hey, Takehisa." Your voice chimed. "How are things? I hope youre not too buried in your work."

"Um, I was, but I was given a chance to leave for a bit. I was wondering if you wanted to meet up? Maybe get a coffee or something?"

"Oh, I would love to, but I already had something planned. Maybe I can meet you later?"

Hinawa felt down. He was looking forward to hanging out with you, but if you could meet him later, that would be okay too. "Yeah. We could. Talk to you later." He hung up.

---

The key slid in the lock; turning it, Hinawa unlocked his front door and walked in. He took off his shoes and coat and shuffled his way to the kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it with water. Gulping it down, he stopped suddenly when he heard a thud coming from upstairs.

Putting down the glass, he instinctively drew his gun and pressed his back to the wall. Carefully, he made his way to the stairs. Someone was in his house; they obviously broke in. Gun at the ready, he made his way up, skipping the steps he knew were creaky so he wouldn't give away his posistion. He checked the spare room and the bathroom, even the closet, but no one was there. That just left his bedroom.

His hands flexed and his eyes glowed, ready for an attack. He used his left hand to push the door open and heard the springs on his mattress creak. He was about to shout and attack but stopped when he saw you standing in your knees on top of his bed with your hands up.

"Takehisa! Stop, don't, its only me!"

Hinawa froze wide eyed, gun still drawn on you. When the realization kicked in, he let go of his breath and lowered his arms. "Y/N! What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry. I wanted to surprise you when you got home-"

"Wait... You said you had something planned, again, what are you doing here?"

Smiling lustfully, you pulled out a bow and placed it on your head. "Happy birthday, Takehisa."

A blank expression played on his face. "How did you-"

"Know it was your birthday? I saw your ID card you left on the table the other day. Then a couple days ago, I went to the Hall and asked Obi if he could give you the afternoon off." You stood up and sauntered over to him, pressing yourself against his body and looking up at him with half lidded eyes. "I thought maybe we could spend time together?"

Putting his gun down on his dresser, Hinawa set his hands on your hips, copying your expression. "How did you get into my house?" He whispered, breath hot on your neck.

"Obi gave me a key."

Hmpf. I knew I shouldn't have given him my spare key. Smiling, he captured your lips with his and kissed you, tongue dancing with yours. He took a step forward, causing you to take a step back towards the bed. His hands slid up your shirt and cupped your breasts; squeezing whenever he felt a rush in his core.

You did the same, running your hands over his muscled chest, nails digging into his skin.

Clothes were gone and before you knew it, you were on your back on top his bed. Straddling your hips, Hinawa took off his glasses and leaned over you to set them on his side table, also grabbing something from the drawer. "We're gonna need this." He smirked.

Licking your lips, you grabbed his hand before he opened the condom. "I have something else in mind before you put that on." You got him to switch places with you so that you were on top and kissed him down from his mouth to his waist.

Hinawa grinned. "Is this a birthday present?"

"Only part of one." You said seductively, bringing your face closer to his increasingly hard cock. With one long, slow lick with your tongue, you wrapped your mouth around him, bobbing your head.

"Ohhh..." Hinawa moaned, balling his hands into the sheets. He couldn't help but move his hips; you were making him feel so good. He grabbed your hair and looked down at you, meeting your eyes as you sucked. "Y/N...please dont make me cum like this. Get on my dick."

It wasn't hard to convince you; you craved his dick since the first time you two laid together. Hinawa ripped open the condom and slid it on, giving you a nod when he was ready.

Your walls formed around him as you lowered yourself onto him, moaning out pleasure the deep you went. Once bottomed out, you braced yourself by placing your hands on his pectorals and started rolling your hips at a steady pace. "T-Takehisa..."

Hinawa held you just above your waist, helping you move along his cock. You could tell he was getting close with how he started bucking up faster into to you, so you went faster as well.

The lewd sounds of skin hitting skin and the laboured breathing between the two of you filled the room. With a race to the finish line, Hinawa slowed as he released his seed into the condom. You kept going as you soon too experienced your orgasm, riding him out until you were satisfied.

You smiled and laid on top of his chest, rising and falling with each breath he took. After a couple deep breaths, he pulled you up to kiss you with love. "Ive missed you the last few days." More kisses. "There is more of this, right?"

Giggling, you traced a finger over his chest. "We can do and go for as long as you wish. It is your birthday after all."

This is the best birthday ever.

[ichorrus-blog]

((psst! if anyone is up to plot anything with me, I’d love to have some more threads! anything goes [;)] ))

[coworkspacegurgaon]

Most Effective Ways to Overcome Shared Office Space's Problem

Co-working place is the latest blessing for all the working professionals especially the remote workers, freelancers and start-ups. It has transformed the working environment for people and provided ample networking opportunities to expand the business. With the shared workspaces, the productivity of the individuals has increased and the costs have decreased. But when we talk about these office spaces, we encounter certain problems with them. However, the best part about these problems is that all of them can be solved and there are effective ways to deal with them. Once these problems are dealt with, the shared workspaces can provide you with numerous opportunities and prove to be miraculous for the growth of your business and job opportunities.

Ways to deal with the problems of shared office space

When you go to the shared office spaces, you need to deal with several people from diverse backgrounds all of whom have different working styles and aspirations. Some people are too loud while some may be well behaved. There are a few who like to overhear and put their nose in others' business, while there are others who are very reserved. It becomes a challenge to deal with them and understand the people around whom you are working. But to have a nice working experience, it is very important to be friendly and nice with the people around. Along with that, the people around you can offer you opportunities to expand your business which makes it necessary to have good relations with everybody around. Some of the common problems which one has to face in the shared office space and their best possible solutions are:

Distractions all around!

The most prominent problem with the co-working places is the constant distractions one has to face- the noise of people moving around, laptops opening and closing, chairs moving here and there, people roaming around and chit-chatting, the noise of the phones, meetings and a lot of them. All of this makes it difficult for people to work and concentrate. However, if your work requires more concentration then you can wear noise-canceling headphones to block out the noise or you can consider taking a seat in a corner subject to availability. There are private cabins available for people who need complete silence.

You can even ask the manager of the space to request the people to put their phones on silent mode and promote them to go in the cafeteria or outside to take the calls. Meetings should be organized in the conference rooms to avoid noise. The distractions can be reduced considerably if positive steps are taken by everybody.

No Privacy

This is yet another hurdle that is quite disturbing. It is very difficult to maintain privacy in a shared workplace. People can overhear your important conversations and use them for their benefit. The business secrets might as well be revealed. The best way to ensure privacy is to maintain enough desk space between individuals. All the meetings should only be organized in separate meeting rooms or conference rooms so that the secrets can remain intact. Also, keep your files and documents in the locker to avoid being seen by other competitors and keep your computer system locked so that no one can open it when you are not around.

Limited Space

Often the space allocated to each individual is less than what is given in the corporate office. The square footage per person is less due to which people might feel uncomfortable. However, the workplace can overcome this problem by providing more common areas like lounges, breakout spaces, etc.  Also, more space in the form of storage or drawers can be provided so that the workers can work efficiently. The employees should keep all their stuff well organized so that the entire desk is available for keeping the laptop and other essential stuff only. If space is less, then effective utilization can make it easier to work.

Security and safety issues

The professionals often face security and safety issues because there are hundreds of people working in the same office space and they use the same equipment, internet network and devices. This poses a serious threat to security. The best way to address this problem is to provide private and secure networks with unique IDs and Passwords to every individual. There should be touch-based ID access in the building and no unidentified people should be allowed to enter the building. The meeting room and conference rooms must be soundproof. The storage options should be provided with adequate locking facilities so that no one can barge in other’s stuff. Laptops and computers should also be password protected. Moreover, individuals should be vigilant at all times and must make sure that all protection measures are being put in place properly. 

Lack of Amenities

It is often seen that with so many people working around in the same office place, the amenities might be less than what is desired. There are limited conference rooms and meeting rooms, limited printers and fax machines and other equipment. The best way to deal with the problem is to plan. It is best to book the conference and meeting rooms in advance to avoid any delays or problems. It is best to do the work in a planned way and avoid a last-minute rush.

The Coworking spaces should also work to provide the best equipment and ensure the use of each one of them efficiently so that there is no chaos.

The shared office spaces are the best option for all the individuals who find it difficult to work from home. Moreover, the start-ups which don’t have enough funds can easily rent out the shared workspace which can provide them with twin benefits- it can save the costs and provide networking opportunities.

DesqWorx is an excellent shared workplace that offers world-class facilities to all individuals to ensure that they can work comfortably. It is much more than just an office space that provides ample space to work along with a variety of options like a hot desk, dedicated desk and private cabin to ensure seamless working experience.

[clubpenguinheadcanons]

you should do a headcanons thing or maybe a mini fic (no pressure tho dw!!) of if operation: blackout was like?? Longer??? Like everyone still gets captured after the first week or so but the agents on their own for like, a few months or so , I think that would be :^) fun (seriously no pressure tho love your blog so much keep up the good work !!!!!!!!!!)

Word Count: 3014

I hope this works!!!

Ace woke up to a knock on the door, with caution, Ace slowly went towards it. Hoping it wasn’t a certain white bear. Ace looked at the calendar to see the date, marking it the third month. To many, this would be the third month of Herbert’s takeover of Club Penguin, but to Ace, it was the third month of their failure, the third month of them trying to take back what was rightfully theirs and every other penguin’s freedom.

Months ago, after The Director was taken, Ace led a mission to hack into Solar Laser that Herbert took from G. Yet that mission sunk faster than the Clock Tower Gear being thrown into the water. While it seemed like the defenses of Herbert’s laser would be easy to break through, what they did not account for was Herbert tracking where the agents were while trying to break in. So, during the operation, not only did Herbert put up his defensives which made the mission go nowhere, he found where the agents were and broke into the secret base, capturing many other agents, almost Ace as well.

Ace took in a shaky breath from that last thought. They were almost captured as well. That wasn’t good, they remembered the frenzy that all the agents were in, including themselves. Ace only got out of there in the nick of time before Herbert could even put a paw on them. But what was the point of running away like a coward? None, and now Ace could only do what they felt would be the right thing, staying with the EPF, and trying their best to fix this. Yet, it was much harder than they thought it would be. They were able to make a new secret base, yet it wasn’t as good as the last one. They had to make so many precautionary measures, such as only having a handful in there at a given time, and for Ace to check who the penguin was. Ace was pretty much living in the base, planning and overseeing all missions to try to stop Herbert’s hold on the island.

Ace was taken out of their thoughts with seeing PH outside, having the Puffle Squad in tow. Through the small peep hole, Ace could see that PH had some supplies in her flippers. It was a miracle that the two weren’t taken from Herbert yet. With a sigh, Ace went through the same script they have given to every agent before.

“Show your ID.” Ace could see PH looking at the door with annoyance. “PH, I know it’s you, but I just…” Ace sighed. It annoys them too, but, it’s best to be on the cautious side.

“I know, it’s okay, it’s just I have my flippers full…just give me a moment.” PH put some of the supplies and held up her ID to the peep hole. “That good for you?” PH asked.

“Yeah, you’re good…” Ace opened the door, and helped PH pick up the supplies and put them on the table, to examine and make sure they were what they were, and nothing that could give Herbert their location or anything. “So…are you going to do rounds with me today?” Ace bit the bottom of their beak. It was hard for them to get agents to do rounds with them. Most of them prefer to do rounds by themselves, or with their friends, and while Ace prefers to do rounds with a partner, they tend to act like they are soloing it. Which makes their round partners a bit annoyed with them. PH knows how Ace acts, and is able to work with it, which makes them good together.

PH nodded. “Yeah, of course I would buddy! I would be out of my mind if I didn’t…” Looking around, she noticed how empty it was. “Crikey, it’s empty in here…any agents came through earlier tonight?”

“It’s only 5am PH, I doubt anyone would want to wake up that early, but yeah, a few agents came through to do rounds…” Ace yawned. They haven’t been able to get a good sleep in months, but hey, it’s what they deserve for messing up this big.

“So, when are we going?” PH asked. They know Ace wouldn’t want to leave the base alone, that’s why she was hoping another penguin would be in here.

“When another penguin gets here that I trust…” Ace felt bad to say that, yet they both know, that some agents here, aren’t that good. Heck, penguins make jokes about Rookie for being a bad agent, but Rookie, despite some of their faults, is a good agent. They take orders well, even if the execution isn’t that great, and once they know what not to do, they won’t make the same mistake twice. He also, despite feeling bad for messing up, or needing help, is willing to ask for help. Which is something that some agents don’t have the gall to do. Some say that asking for help is swallowing your pride, but heck, it’s courageous. As well that he can make any gloomy room shine with positivity. Ace sighed, wishing that Rookie was here, that would make the dark days of trying to make the island shine again even brighter. Ace was taken out of their thoughts with another knock on the door. “Show your ID.” Ace peaked through to see an agent. After seeing their ID and getting them in, Ace looked at them and to PH. “Okay agent, PH and I will leave to do rounds…just make sure the base is in one piece when we get back.” They chuckled, hoping humor would lighten the mood.

“Hopefully it will…” The agent responded in a deadpan tone. Signaling that the joke has not.

“Come on Ace, let’s go…I’m guess you’re taking your puffle?” PH put Chirp on a leash, knowing that he would want to go on a walk with them.

“Yeah…” Ace leashed on their black puffle and the two of them, with puffles in tow began making rounds. Their base being right off of the map of the forest that leads to the cove, so after they got there, they looked around. Seeing nothing different, or any suspecting penguins, or crabs, they began to discuss where to go first.

“First the cove, and then we go around and back?” PH suggested.

“Good plan PH, like always…” Ace smiled. Then their eyes opening, realizing something. “How about you go to the Cove, and I look around at the Plaza? We get two locations in half the time. And we can meet up in the Plaza before heading off?” Ace knows they are soloing it, but heck, the Cove doesn’t have much, so PH would come and help Ace before they finished up.

PH chuckled and nodded, used to Ace’s antics. “Sure thing Ace…” PH began to go the Cove and Ace and their puffle went to the Plaza.

The Plaza was no different than before the first month of Herbert’s take over, except now…it seems that there is a big screen on the theater building? That’s new…and wasn’t in the report of the agents that did rounds earlier tonight. Did Herbert just get those up? In two hours? Ace’s thoughts were taken away from them, when the screen flickered on, and a camera on top of it, turned red signaling, it was on.

“Good morning my foolish subjects…” Herbert yawned. Rubbing away the tired from his eyes, he looked to see, his great enemy, alone in the Plaza. “My, my, seems that I found an agent, all alone…” He looked to the side, signaling that Klutzy was off camera. “Klutzy! Focus on the Plaza.”

With that, Ace gulped. Fish sticks, they were discovered “Oh-hey-hey Herbert! How are you in this lovely weather?” Ace shivered hoping PH would come and save their flipper soon. Ace looked down to their puffle and dropped the leash, trying to nudge them to get PH. Which, with once being free, vamoosed to get PH. Now it’s just their mission to stall Herbert.

“I have no time for silly chit-chat Agent! But then again…” Herbert pondered, smiling, he was willing to muse the foolish penguin, yeah, he can. “How are you? You seem to be quite…skinny…have you been losing weight?” He took notice how much smaller the penguin was.

“Yeah…famine can do that to you…” Ace gave an awkward chuckle. Because of the lack of sunshine, plants haven’t been growing, and with that, food has been scarce. As well that Herbert taking a good portion of food hasn’t been helping. Because of this, the hospital has been giving out rations to penguins, and Ace, with being how busy as they were, hasn’t had time to go and get rations, or to even eat. “Enough about me though, how have you been eating? You seem more plump than usual…”

“Rude! You shouldn’t be talking about someone gaining weight…but yes, I have been eating well, you penguins, despite being stupid, know how to cook…” Herbert smiled, after grabbing some agents, he had been giving them “jobs” so they won’t be iced. Such as being cooks or cleaners.

“Ahh, so you have some help around the base now?” Ace mumbled…trying to think that would play out if they were to go and invade in there.

“Why yes, I even have some robotic ones…” Herbert smirked, getting a remote out and pushing a button.

“Robotic…” Ace looked in horror, seeing two robotic Herbert lookalikes coming out of nowhere, ready to capture Ace.

“Robots! Capture that penguin!” Herbert commanded. Laughing as he looked to see Ace trying their best to escape. Yet with not eating, Ace hasn’t been quick and agile as before. They could only give huffs and puffs instead of the usual insults towards Herbert. Just trying to get away from the robot’s hold. Up until, Ace couldn’t run away anymore, letting one of the robots grab Ace with their iron grip.

“ACE!” PH ran into the Plaza to see their friend captured by a robot. Stopping in her tracks from seeing a robot coming right up to her, after scooping up Chirp and Ace’s puffle.  

“PH, get out of here! Now!” Ace ordered, hoping she could map themselves out.

“But-I-okay! Ace I’m sorry!” PH teleported out of there in the nick of time.

“Blasted! Ah well though…I got my last penguin for my collection…” Herbert smirked. Only gaining a gulp of fear from Ace. “Robots, come to base now…” Herbert teleported the two bots into his base. Herbert, sitting in his seat, while two penguins fan him. The two penguins looked in surprise, seeing one of the top agents that kept escaping Herbert’s attempts being captured. Herbert noticed this and smiled. “Yes…look, look at the one that you guys had your hopes on, being here in this base, and not to free you guys…” Herbert took great pleasure seeing one of them trying to stop themselves from breaking down. “Come with me bots…” Herbert got up, going upstairs to where he would put Ace.

“I’m sorry guys…” Ace mumbled, being taken to where the others were, and the Solar Laser. Ace looked to see that Chirp, was in the other robots hold. Hatching a plan in their mind. “Herbert…” Ace’s voice sounded sweeter, hoping this would work.

“What is it?” Herbert looked at Ace quizzically. Ace’s face, looked like they wanted to…compromise? Or to beg for their freedom? “I’m not freeing you, but feel free to grovel.” Herbert laughed, seeing Ace’s face turn into fear, and anger.

“Oh, I won’t be here for long anyways!” Ace’s voice getting angry. “If I’m captured, then the SEPF will just…-ah-ah-crud…” Ace’s voice stopped short, as if they just, mentioned something they shouldn’t have.

“Wait…SEPF? What’s that?” Herbert now was interested, seeing that Ace just dropped some valuable information.

“It’s…nothing…” Ace had to force themselves to externally cringe, while internally smiling, happy that Herbert took the bait.

“Tell me! I command you to!” Herbert was getting angry. He needs to know, and Ace just, even in the clutches and mercy of their enemy, just being so stubborn to not say anything? Curse them, curse them to the deepest lava pits.

“Nope…why should I?” Ace deadpanned. Just, trying to look like they won’t budge.

“Oh, I’ll give you a reason!” Herbert threaten. Stomping out of the room to get some things that would make Ace talk.

“Perfect…” Ace cooed. Looking at Chirp, hoping this would work. “Chirp, how about you play us a loud tune.”

Chirp nodded, getting their flute out and playing their tune. Loud enough to break the two robots. With now being free, Ace ran to the Solar Laser, trying to hack into the system and to disable it. Ace could feel the sweat drip from their head, concentrating and trying their hardest to beat the clock before Herbert could even come up there. After the Laser turned off, Ace ran up to the tubes that their teammates were in. Quickly, Ace tried to free their friends, or to at least disable their tubes, so they could be slowly, but surely thawed out. Ace’s puffle quickly started a fire, their flame trying to quickly melt the frozen penguins. While Chirp played their flute a few times here and there by the machinery, making sure that all piece of equipment that Herbert had would be unusable. In all their frenzy, they were only taken out of it when Herbert came back, this time with some ray gun on him. He looked shocked to see that Ace has already destroyed their machinery. Making the polar bear’s white face turn into a deep red with rage. Knowing that now, Herbert must leave, with his hold on the island, finally being compromised. But, he won’t leave empty handed, oh no, he would rather die than to let that happen. With that and a quick grab of Ace, he left.

Ace tried to struggle in Herbert’s hold, trying to get out, but was far too weak to even fight it, along with their screams being muffled from all of Herbert’s fur covering their beak. Ace didn’t know what was going on, until they heard whatever weapon Herbert had was starting up, and with a flash, Ace’s vision went to black.

Ace woke up, cold, but alive, feeling like they were just trapped in ice. While they shivered, they felt a blanket wrapped around them. Ace looked to see, after their vision finished focusing to see it was their friends. Rookie in front of them with their face full of worry, to see their missing friend blue in the feathers, and defiantly many pounds too light. After a moment of hesitation, Rookie hugged the penguin tight, only softening their grip when they realized how much weight Ace lost during Operation Blackout.

Ace, after not feeling their bones being squeezed in some bear hug, returned the hug back. Just, trying to capture the warmth that Rookie was radiating. Ace looked around, to notice, they were in some sort of cave, definitely not in the lair that Herbert had before. Lost, and confused, Ace looked at Rookie. “How-how long was I out?” Ace followed Rookie, who was slowly leading them to the others.

“You were…umm…” Rookie didn’t know if he even wanted to answer that. Partly from guilt, and the other half to not freak out Ace. As Ace went towards the others, they all were at first relieved, to see Ace alive, then immediate concern washing over them to see how bad their friend was for wear.

“Ace! You’re alive!” PH ran towards the penguin and couldn’t help but to hug them, just relieved, that Ace was alive, it has been almost a year! “You’ve been missing for about a year now! We thought that Herbert…” Her voice was quiet at the end. Not wanting to say what she feared, it was her fault that Ace was taken, well, it wasn’t, but she felt it was part of her fault for not staying there for Ace, and instead of escaping.

Ace’s eyes widen at that. A year?! Goodness, no wonder why Rookie didn’t want to tell them how long they were out. “Oh…yeah…I’m alive…” Ace couldn’t help but keep them from sounding shocked. “Guess Herbert was hard to catch?” Hopefully, that would be the result for now.

G frowned and gave a small shake of his head, making Ace frown in return, knowing that Herbert was still out there. “Sadly, he escaped…we were mainly concerned with getting you when we found out he had you in this base…”

Ace couldn’t help but give a scowl. “Guess he is trying to take over the island still?…” Ace just, after all of this, now they’re a year behind on everything! Oh goodness…their friends, they probably think that they were. Ace shook their head out of those thoughts, they have much catching up to do, but for now, they should be focusing on recovering, knowing they were too weak to even go after Herbert. Especially with what happened to their last encounter.

G gave a shrug. “Yeah…but he hasn’t been that active as of late.” G realized that Ace should be taken to some medical facility, and out of this cold, dark cave. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.

Slowly, but surely, Ace walked out of the cave to see JPG and Dot, both happy to see that Ace was alive. But that wasn’t what Ace was focused on. Instead, Ace looked up, to notice the sun was out, shining brightly, warming up the island on this early March day, about three months after Ace’s mission failed. Sure, they didn’t save the island when they first tried, and they were captured as well from saving the island. But finally, the island was out of the ever dark and cold grasp of Herbert, including Ace as well. Finally having their cold feathers to be warmed up by the radiant sun, knowing, just like the sun, Ace will have their day to rise.

[trekkashmirlikecrazy]

Desktop wallpaper days at Kashmir great lakes trek

Our excitement of many months to trek the beautiful Kashmir great lakes commenced on July 8th, 2017. Me, my best friend and my lovely cousin: we three girls from Bangalore, Karnataka had this unwavering thrust to accomplish this High-altitude Himalayan trek.

Day 1: Srinagar to Sonmarg (9,000ft) (approx. 80km/3 hrs drive)

We landed in Srinagar Defence airport where photography is prohibited and internet was not working. Only BSNL and Airtel post-paid network works in Srinagar. Informed our family about our safe landing and got into the local taxi booked by Renok Adventures. We wondered how the roads were empty and Indian Army men with weapons were on either side of the road at every 10 feet distance. Later we realised that there was a curfew in the Srinagar city and tourists could travel only during the night. We met our other five batchmates and headed towards Sonmarg but was denied twice by the Army officers to cross, as there was unrest in the outskirts of the city too. Our taxi driver was giving us hopes and told not to worry you all will be safe. We roamed around in the garden till evening and ate lip smacking Dum-aloo roti, Dal rice in a restaurant after the long exhausting wait. Later left in the night around 11 pm and we were scared as we would be sent back or even attacked by anti-nationalists but fortunately crossed 3 Army check-posts to reach Guest house at 1 am and slept peacefully.

Day 2: Sonmarg (9,000ft) to Nichnai (12,000ft) (11km trek/6 hrs)

Morning woke up to see the mountain ranges and gushing flow of Sindh river. Hot teas and hot Paranthas made me forget all the nightmares of the previous night. We started trekking and very soon I felt terrible congestion and couldn’t walk further. I relaxed a bit and slowly steadily picked up my pace with the help of my friends and our guide. The beautiful sonmarg lush green valley, tall trees helped me ascend happily. Temperature was 15°-20° C during the day. We passed Army check post where our Id’s were checked and we moved on to reach the table top (shekdur) around 12 pm and relaxed. We even had this famous drink Kashmiri kahwa in the Dhaba which helped us regain vigour. The gradual valley to Nichnai was easier with few meters of rocky terrain. Some guys from opposite way were singing Justin biebers’s Don’t you give up nah-nah- nah, I won’t give up, nah-nah-nah. Even if I was about to give up, I stepped ahead: boosted up by the song.

Our pace increased as it rained last 20 minutes of the trek, we got drenched a bit but wore a poncho on time and reached the camp site besides a stream and had tea and tasty pakoras. The night was cold and the sleep rushed into us soon after scrumptious dinner.

 Day 3: Nichnai to Vishansar Lake (12,500ft, 12km trek 6–7 hrs)

Woke up at 6 am and were all set for the day by 7 am. Climbed up a steep mountain and Nishnai valley opens with the mixture of terrains: snowy, rocky, clean even path and flower trail. Reached campsite early and visited nearby Vishansar lake, a blue unruffled water with snow-capped mountains around, which was just a km away from our camp. Drizzling rain started and made the climate cold and colder. We enjoyed Maggi noodles for the evening snacks and mouth-watering gajar ka halwa(carrot halwa) in the dessert after dinner. We feared Himalayan brown bear in the night but fell asleep because of a tiresome day.

Day 4: Vishansar Lake to Gadsar (13,750ft, 8 hrs)

Today we woke up at 5 am, a bright day as if it is 6 30 am in Bangalore. We freshened up and headed towards Vishansar lake and then a bit of up climbing we got the first view of Kishansar lake. Steep mountain to gadsar pass was draining and a long path to scale. Vishansar and Kishansar twin lakes were always in the view on the climbing path. Once when we scaled this path and reached 13750ft, a sense of achievement overwhelmed us. The view of snow-capped mountains, white pathways, green trails, afar view of lakes was like dreamy heavens. One cannot capture this serene beauty in the camera but in mind through our eyes and this cannot match any photograph.

The other side of the mountain was a steep down snowy path and we slid down wearing our rain pants. It was an amusement to me to ski down on a snow for the first time. I even got hurt as I laid hands on ice the whole time I slid. But that was fun too. We had lunch besides a valley stream and then reached gadsar lake. It was placid blue water with ice floating on it. We enjoyed the rest of the trek chit-chatting, taking pictures. Just before reaching the camp, we had to get our Id’s checked at an Army camp and later cross a coldest stream with bare legs as it was little deep and we dint want to damp our shoes. I crossed first and Omg what a s*** cold it was!! I sat on a rock and enjoyed everyone else’s epic reactions after crossing the cold stream. It was indeed an entertaining part. Further, we leisurely reached the campsite which was near to a bit of an icy mountain base which was colder than the previous camps. We played card games, Dumb-charades, how’s yours etc., laughed and laughed and had delicious dinner with all the crazy gang. As a daily ritual, it rained few minutes and the cold air occupied us as the temperature fell up 3°- 4° C throughout the night.

Day 5: Trek from Gadsar to Satsar (12,500ft, 4–5 hrs)

As we cannot predict the mountain weather which changes any minute, we dint want to delay and get stuck in rains. So, we started off early. Initial couple of hours involved walking along a mountain ridge and crossing over to the other side to reach Satsar (Seven Lakes). Sometimes paths were so edgy but we were cautious, if slipped we would fall into an abysmal depths. Initial few hours we could spot Indigenous strawberry patch on the verge of budding, small flowers of Vivid colours which gave a spectacular beauty to the mountain ridge that we were following. We reached a peak and view blew our mind. We descended to reach Border-3 army camp where our identification was checked. The soldiers were very much welcoming, we were given warm water to drink and we even clicked pictures with them. I really appreciate their dedication and love for the country. Further trail was mostly rocky and it was drizzling a bit. We had sandwiches on the way and crossed small lakes in between, moved on to reach the camp by 1 pm. We had plenty of time to relax and entertain ourselves. We had yummy Gulab Jamun after dinner.

Day 6: Satsar (12,000ft) to Twin Lakes of Gangabal (11,500ft) (9km/6 hrs)

This was Black and white path for first few hours, there was fog in white, big dark rocks to climb, rains. It sucked all my energy climbing those steep rocky terrain. In hindi we sarcastically say din me taare dikh rahe hai (we could see stars in the daytime) means we are so drained out but I could actually see meteoroids and other Celestial bodies too 😉: P. We reached Zaj pass and could see Nundkol and Gangbal: the twin lakes from the peak. The view would be even more beautiful but it was mostly foggy that day. Climbing down was strenuous and slippery as it was drizzling and rocks were mud-spattered. But as we descended we could actually see our tents from afar, placed near to the lakes, we enjoyed the view of twin lakes and Harmukh- The gorgeous glacier above Nundkol lake. We sat there absorbing the beauty, clicked pictures and reached the camp. Night we enjoyed watching numerous stars in the sky. I had never seen those many stars twinkling. I wondered the nature in itself is this beautiful then how beautiful the creator might be!!

Day 7: Lazy/Easy Rest day

We took a walk to Nundkol and gangbal lakes. Singing songs, having light moments, clicking pictures. Sparkling Gangbal lake was fascinating to look at. Magical cool breeze enchanted our souls. Sheep, goats and horses made the delta around the lake more fertile. We walked back in the noon and had stomach full lunch and took a short nap amidst serene landscapes. As this was the last camp site, we had campfire in the night, we shared our life stories, sang many songs together. I felt that these beautiful memories had with amazing people will never erase from my memory.

 Day 8: Ending Day- Bending day, Gangabal to Naranag (15 kms trek, 7 hrs)

Everyone had an excitement to complete the trek also a slight gloom as we never wanted to go back to the concrete jungle. Mother nature offered us with the lush green grass, the alpine meadows, dandelions, ferns which are my favourite of all the paths and I was ready to stop there forever. Pristine landscapes dazzled our spirits to climb down slowly steadily. Sometimes climbing down constantly for 6-7hrs is more dredging than climbing up. Our knee caps were calling names and the toes: enough said. We took 5 small stops and finally arrived at the end stop Naranag at 2.30 pm. Congratulated each other, ate lightly at the guest house and headed towards Srinagar in the local taxi. We were stopped on the way again by Army men and was told to return to naranag as there were some issues going on but we persuaded them that we have not taken shower in 7 days, had our hotels booked in Srinagar and even showed the copy of the booking. Later they had to budge and let us go. We reached Srinagar and had the best hot water shower of our life and went for shopping at the Dal lake vicinity.

All well that ends well

We all returned safe and sound to our respective places. This trek made me understand my friends better. Caring each other in painful times is valued more. Aiding Unseen wounds, carrying each other’s bags, trailing a steep mountain faster to pass a poncho to save a friend from drenching in rain. These little things bring everyone closer.

I have also discovered the truth of this old saying “Travel broadens the mind”. New sights, sounds, and smells affect our neural system, creates new connections in our brains that help refresh our minds. Hiking recharges our soul and soothes our terrifying thoughts. I totally recommend everyone at least one 7-day hike a year.

Thanks to Renok Adventures and team for everything.

[kazeelia]

Unfaithful To A Goddess |Chapter 7| {SaeyoungXMC}

[Chapter 6] [X] [Chapter 8-Soon]

Warning: Language\Large Word Count

Saeran spend all night in the hospital. He had informed the whole RFA about what happened but without much details, which he didn't have himself. He only mentioned that MC had a panic attach when she had a big fight with 

Saeyoung. Everyone was deadly worried, they all wanted the address to visit her. He mentioned her reaction after waking up in the hospital and reassured everyone that it will be safer if for now they take things slow, not only MC but the rest too. Jumin talked about the care MC is receiving and a offer about transferring her to one of the C&R hospitals.

Saeran said that everything is fine and he is taking care of everything in that aspect. He ended the chit-chat short and started researching on the agency. He found most of the information he wanted so he can start of with questioning Saeyoung. The agency's name is 'Dark Tulip' mainly based on selling videos of women striping for a ridiculous amount of money. He checked deeper finding that this agency looked like one of the most expanded underground. It 'looked' like that but there was not enough information inside.

More over most of it is fake or reused. Most of the photos he checked, which Saeyoung had worked on, were photoshoped. Fake IDs, photos, information, website, codes, reports, members. Everything is completely fake.

There are only two explanation. Or Saeyoung has been tricked into this, which is mostly impossible, or Saeyoung is hiding something more under his skin than Saeran has ever imagined. Saeyoung might have created a fake agency to distract him from the main part. Saeran does't want to even thing about that so he considers the first option with a smal detail, distraction.

Saeyoung might be tricked into this as a distraction. But why? And for what? He had so much evidence against Saeyoung but he still believed in his innocence. Maybe it's hope or the instinct he is receiving all this time. A while ago there was a dark voices in his mind but now this voice is trying to help him. He has a strange feeling that maybe his brother has been tricked and isn't hiding anything more.

His thoughts were cut short as a small groan was heard from under the covers of the bed. ''Why is MC already awake? Does she need something?" he quietly talked to himself and stood up from his chair. As he stood up, bright sunlight hit his eyes. That was the moment Saeran realised it's already morning. He fished out his phone to check the time.

7:36

Saeran's eyes widen as he say the time. He had stayed up researching, he should have slept even for a tiny bit. Today he needs that energy so he can go and talk to his brother and explain. You slowly move the covers away from your face. Your movement is slow, probably still tired from the anesthetic shot you received. It took you a few minutes before your eyes opened fully and registered your location and after that to see Saeran sitting besides your bed, typing away on his laptop.

Bright sunlight shines into your eyes. You rub your eyes as a soft sound echoed around you. Opening your eyes you noticed Saeran standing above you. "How are you feeling?" Saeran asked and sat back down as you follow him with your eyes. "I'm as ok as someone can be in my situation." You didn't want to worry Saeran but lying wasn't a good option either. Saeran sighs as he hears your words. Of course, why is he asking anyway?' Because you want her to be ok you idiot, but taking the situation at hand she clearly isn't' he spoke to himself inside his head.

After a short time a doctor and nurse took you for some tests. Saeran in the meantime started making a plan. As much as he wants to make things straight as soon as possible he of course can't act without a plan, a good plan. First he must take care of you. He has to make sure that you are physically and emotionally OK so he can move forward. It won't be easy and he knows it. As you took your time and fixed him, he will take his time and fix you. But that could take too much time and talking to Saeyoung is an important manner as well.

As much as he wants to put you on top, he must as well think about Saeyoung. He cannot allow him or leave him much space to progress. Saeyoung could be moving ahead of him and catching up will not be as easy as it was last time. The first time, as Saeran stole the files from Saeyoung's computer, was only a error he didn't notice. He could have stepped his game ahead of him and blocked any blind spots.

The only option Saeran has been left with is choosing. He can choose taking care of you first and let Saeyoung progress further but he also can chase Saeyoung but leave you behind.  Maybe he can trust someone other from the RFA to take care of you? Will you agree? He was clearing his options inside his tangled head as you enter your room in a wheelchair. He immediately stood up to help you but a nurse tailed behind you. She pulled out some papers and hang them in front of MC's bed. "How is she doing?" Searan asked as he helped you move to the bed.

"Well by the blood test, the results show that it was a asthma panic attach. It's not a common attach but so there is nothing to worry about. Mrs. Choi doesn't have any past records of a serious suffering of panic attacks. The only trigger in this situation must be a really sudden stress or even a sudden shock she must have went through." The nurse looks down at her papers and writes down something. Without looking back up she continues. "As I was saying, he result haven't shown anything suspicious so she will be released tomorrow." She looks up and smiles at you before leaving the room.

Saeran was a bit thrown of by your quick release. He had hoped maybe he had some more time figuring out his master plan. "So I'm being released tomorrow." you quietly repeat the nurse's words wanting to start slow on the topic. "Yeah.." Saeran replayed and placed his head in his hands. It was hard thinking that you can't return to your home, Saeyoung, nor now nor ever. "Look I have been planing this for some time by now but I have only one option left." Saeran said seriously and looked up from the floor where his eyes were resting.

You thought maybe he was thinking about taking you to another RFA member. You know they most be busy with their own life but you are quit desperate in this situation. If not a member then maybe a hotel. Knowing Saeyoung he will search for you and visit every RFA member to get any information about you. Thinking about that made your heart hurt 'Did he even care anymore?'. He clearly wasn't here and he didn't even try and contact you nor Saeran and maybe learn about your situation. He just didn't care anymore, you were useless to him by now.

"I will send you back to your family for the time being." Your eyes grow wide as you hears Saeran's final decision. Saeran began to worry as he watched your shocked expression change into a blank and then a sad one. "I can't go back there." you say and hug the covers closer to your body, feeling like Saeran saw everything inside you with one look.

Saeran hasn't searched too deep into your family so the only information he had was that you were an only child. "And why is that MC?" he calmly asked and placed his hand close to your, he didn't want to push you so if you needed it, you would take it. It was hard talking about your family, maybe Saeran doesn’t know anything about your family so he decided it's the best option. In reality it's worse than returning back to Saeyoung.

Thinking about those two situations together made your breath quicker and your hands started to shake. Saeran noticed and started panicking, he didn't want to trigger an panic attach like the one you had the first time. "Hey, if you don't want to talk about it, it's ok-" he was cut off as you took a sharp breath in and sudden answer. "No, Saeran. I don't want to hide anything anymore. 

Look in the situation all those secrets brought us to. I don't want to hide anything from you anymore and I want you to do the same." still shaking you took his warm hand and looked into his eyes, waiting for an answer.

You were right, you were always right. All those secrets have brought the three of you into a hell and the path out won't be easy to find but the first step is to place all the cards on the table. "I will MC, I will be honest with you from now on." or tell you only the things you need to know, he wanted to add but it was useless if he was promising the complete opposite.

You smiled and fixed your pillow. Taking a deep breath you started to plan the point from were you were going to explain first. You nod to yourself and look back at Saeran. "I had a brother." only by that fact Saeran's eyes widen. He would have never guessed. A second later he noticed better your choice of words, 'had'. "Me and my brother were like one. He was older that me by 3 years but that didn't stop us in anything. From when I was a baby my brother loved me and took care of me." You nervously laughed at the sweet memory of a photo in which your brother was holding you just after your birth came to your mind.

"Leon was the perfect brother I could have ever imagined. The memories we made were always happy. He was always so friendly and caring that he was my idol and I really wanted to become more like him. Well I wasn't so social so I didn't have any friends but I didn't care until, well my brother graduated from my school and we had to separate. Those were years I only can describe as hell. I didn't have my brother to protect me. Our parents didn't like that I only depended on Leon so they offered him to skip a year forward. I still don't fully understand why. Leon was a genius but they always mentioned that it wasn't only for that."

Saeran observed you carefully and listened to everything, he noticed that the memories were just easily leaving your lips. He was scared that this may cause a panic attach if there is a traumatic experience. "I was really weak without my brother but I still had the goal to become like him. In high school he won 6  rewards on a international competition. My parents weren't really proud of him which always surprised me but my uncle was his biggest supporter. Every high school year he won award on chemistry, computers and psychology." Saeran did some basic math and the result didn't mach. "What about the 3rd year? You said he won 3 every year." That was the moment he saw the sadness."The third year was the year I came to the same high school. Of course after so long without him in the same school, people looked weirdly at me when I spent breaks with him because he was older. People didn't really know that I was his sister. We were different in looks and personality. He had black hair, I have brown. He had blue eyes, I have pink. He was really tall but I was still kinda short in high school."

You were explaining the difference between you and your brother and you really were different in both look and personalities. He also imagined him. Short black hair, tall and slender figure and shiny blue eyes. "That was also the year my brother dead." Saeran's head shot up to look at you as he registered the information. "In high school I tried expanding my social skills. I wanted to make friends and be popular like my brother. I wasn't going to be popular by my looks like my brother but I still tried. I also kept it a secret from my brother which felt like a sin. We always shared everything so hiding something felt really heavy. I wanted to become popular by myself so I didn't want any help from my brother." a heavy sigh left your lips and made you continue. "That was a really big mistake. By the time my brother learned about my goal I was in a small group of people. They looked OK and pretty normal but my brother warned me that they are really bad outside school and to cut contact soon. I didn't believe him at first and thought that he may thing that I am too weak to make friends. I didn't stop hanging out with them and Leon and me started being distant. We didn't hang out on breaks and at home I was mostly on the phone with the group."

"One night I decided that maybe I can go out with them, most of the time we only met at school so I wanted to move forward. It was 11pm when I secretly left the house. We met in a small alley and started deciding on the place we wanted to hang out. Well that night they wanted to explore the old factory that was just outside the city. I knew that there was a toxic explosion there so I protested and warned them about that. They started calling me names and claimed that I only depend on my brother. I after so many years of hearing the same I couldn't take it anymore so decided to leave. After that everything went on fast. One of them pulled out a knife and threatened if I didn't go that they would open my gust and feed me to the dogs. I couldn't run because they circled me before I knew it. I started screaming until the one with the knife got tired and charged to stab me. That was the moment my brother showed up and protected me, he shoved me away and took the hit for me. The others go scared and run away. As soon as they left I run to Leon and helped him but it was useless. By the time police and the ambulance came he was dead. I still remember how much I cried and begged him to forgive me for not listening to him sooner. He only said that he was proud of himself for protecting me, he said that he was a true brother."

It was difficult for you to keep all of your emotions inside and you remembered the scene. Your brother's blood on your clothes. You crying into his bleeding chest and begging god to save him. It was a really difficult time of your life and most difficult was about to come. " After my brother died I was a complete wreak. I couldn't sleep nor eat without thinking about his absence. My parents were another story. My mother had cried a little at the news of my brother but my father didn't even blink. He was always cold to my brother but behaved in front of me. He didn't even want to grave him and commented it as 'a waist of money.'. My mother talked to me and explained that maybe he is taking things his way but that was explainable." A cold laugh left your lips at the sour memory of your father. "He hated when I mentioned him. The day after his funeral he got into his room and destroyed the shit out of it, breaking every memory of him. I tried saving something, anything but with no result. He then set the room on fire, taking us outside and drove for hours. He moved us to a completely new town without asking anyone, not even my mother. I couldn't take his selfish character anymore. On my 17th birthday I contacted my uncle, with his small help I run away. He got me a normal life as his orphaned niece. He lived here in Korea and still leaves here I think."You sighed with relief as a weigh was lifted of your shoulders. Saeran was still as you gazed at him. "And I though I had a fucked up life." he laughed coldly and clicked his tongue. "Don't say that. You had your own pain as I had my own." your small, but true, smile melted his anger.

He couldn't believe that a person so sweet, caring, warm and sharing was emotionally tortured like that. "Well not that that is past us I got a little hungry." Saeran laughed as your stomach growled. "OK, you grizli bear. Be right back." Saeran stood up and walked the hallway to get you your meal.

I am soooo sorry that I was absence for so long without any updates on my writing but I have a serious reason for that. First my parents split up and I moved with my mother, then I became really depressed and got sick. I got so sick mentalny and felt so awful that it became physical. I was feeling weak and couldn’t really move. To cut it short things have been really bad for the past month but I’m starting to get things straight. I even got a puppy as a therapy pet\animal. He has helped me a lot and thanks to him I’m back on my legs. :)

[lbcybersecurity]

What is your product and what does it do?

Lessons I learned trying to make the most of vendor briefings

I’ve always been a sort of ‘cut-to-the-chase’ kind of guy. I’m self-taught when it comes to security and technology. Over the years, I’ve learned how to skim through a book, article or website to extract the important information. Sometimes I’m just trying to figure out how to do something, or I’m looking for an answer to a specific question.

Just tell me what time it is, I don’t need to know how atomic time clock frequency standards work.

Conversely, I also have an appreciation for context and a good story — as long as you eventually get to the point.

Anatomy of a Vendor Briefing

Here’s how the average vendor briefing usually goes.

The WebEx Tax (5min)

Waiting for everyone to join, restarting WebEx or some other screen-sharing app because it’s misbehaving. Chit-chat about weather and where everyone is physically based, or happens to be at the moment. I quickly communicate that attempts to talk sports are wasted on me — I just don’t follow them anymore.

Introductions (5min)

These are important — I want to understand who I’m talking to. I want to know whether or not I can ask technical questions. I want to understand the backgrounds of who is on the phone.

About the company (5min)

How is the company doing? How did it start? Where is it located? How many employees? Is it growing? What about that lawsuit? Who are its customers? What company size/verticals are being targeted?

The Problem Statement (10min+)

This is where about half of vendors start to lose me. Typically, I’m talking to a vendor in a space that I cover closely and have covered for years. I’ve probably written about this space, given talks about it and discussed it at length… well, you get the idea. This is also where platitudes and hyperbole start to roll out. Silver bullets and ‘one weird trick’ to fix security! Most of these meetings are occurring over the phone without video, so the vendor may not hear the sound of my eyeballs violently rolling back.

On the other hand, I do want to hear the problem statement from the vendor, provided it is concise. The problem statement helps me understand how the vendor sees their market and their place in that market. Sure, I understand it, but I want to see it through the vendor’s eyes. In some cases, the problem statement reveals an outdated or artificial view (in my opinion), but in others, it offers insights or perspectives I hadn’t considered before.

Recommendations:

Ask the analyst a few questions to gauge their familiarity with the state of security in this particular market segment.

Be concise — briefing an analyst isn’t the same as talking to a sales lead.

The Product (10min+)

This is the most important section, especially in security, where the variety of products and technologies combined with the prevalence of buzzwords can result in some very confusing messaging.

WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!

Recommendations:

Please start this with an architecture slide. Too often, I find myself wondering throughout this portion what the product actually is. I’m hearing about features and functionality, but I don’t know if it’s SaaS, a hardware appliance I rack in my datacenter, a VM I download and deploy, a managed service… This is important context to have for the rest of the conversation!

Lay out all your products and services, even if you’re only focusing on one in this call — this also helps to give important context.

Mention partners and integrations — few security products these days can survive long without integrating into the customer’s existing environment. I want to understand where you overlap, where you replace and where you complement.

Roadmap, competition, future of the market (remainder)

Most of security is a missing feature market, so chances are good that your product may not be long for this world. How are you going to handle that? Especially for startups — if you’re counting on an acquisition exit, how do you ensure you’ll have a seat when the music stops?

The next meeting

If this one went well, I might be interested to see a demo or speak with a customer. Sometimes I want to see a demo because I’m excited or skeptical. Demos are typically easier to keep to 30 minutes because the meeting will be focused just on a screenshare and walk-through of the product.

Other Recommendations

Briefing Length

I find I really need an hour for a briefing. 30 minutes usually ends up feeling rushed.

Analysts are not Sales Leads

When talking to an analyst, your goal isn’t to convince them to buy your product. Instead, you want them to understand your company, products and goals. Make the analyst understand why different customers would want to buy the product and the different approaches that get the customer to sign a PO.

Ideally, you want to make a fan out of an analyst. An analyst that casually or actively mentions your company or product is a huge win. Everyone wants word-of-mouth marketing, but analysts tend to have ‘bigger mouths’ and more influence. Help the analyst understand:

What you do

Why you do it

Your target market

Market differentiation

Use cases

Roadmap and long-term goals

Have a purpose

You sell encryption? That’s great, but how’s it different from the other encryption? Why would I go with yours over another? Do you compete entirely on price and features, or do you have a deeper story and purpose that draw customers in and make them want to be loyal to you?

Buzzwords

Don’t use them unless it’s efficient to do so. For example, if your product is EDR, just say you play in the EDR space. If it’s EDR plus some innovation, don’t avoid the EDR term because you don’t want to be ‘pigeonholed’ with your competitors. It just ends up being confusing.

I remember the first time I talked to FireEye. And the second. And the third. Each time, the sales person described the product (the NX appliance was the only product at this time), and it came off sounding like an IDS/IPS. They ensured me that it wasn’t an IDS/IPS and proceeded to use the same words to describe it again. It wasn’t until I got an engineer on the phone for that fourth call that I was finally able to understand what the product did.

Call a spade a spade — not a next-gen superior triangular manual digging tool. You can even call it an awesome spade if you think it’s awesome, just use words a normal person would understand.

Clarify B2B relationships

DON’T use the terms integrate, partner and alliance interchangeably. They have different meanings.

Integration: “We did some work, they didn’t have to do anything. In fact, we didn’t even really talk to them — we’re just ingesting their API/feed.”

Partnership: “We got together, talked about it, and each of us built pieces that work together in some way.”

Alliance: “We got together and built something entirely new”

Additional DOs and DON’Ts

Do

Go over the agenda for the call and set expectations right at the start. If I’m expecting a demo and there’s no one on the call that can give a demo, I’m going to be disappointed.

Use specific examples or anonymous customer examples

Walk through demos

Give me access to the product, if this can be done easily

Give your pitch to an engineer/product manager to ensure you’re explaining it correctly — nothing’s worse than being contradicted by an engineer during a briefing. We’re going to second guess everything else you’ve said.

Suppress toaster popups during a screenshare. Or don’t. Sometimes the content of your IMs and Emails is VERY revealing. More revealing than your General Council would be comfortable with.

Share your presentations beforehand. I can ask better questions if I know what we’re going to cover. Also, because WebEx WILL fail you.

Learn how to use the screenshare app and/or Powerpoint before the call. I’m frequently amazed at how many people don’t know how to get Powerpoint full-screen.

Go over product naming/branding — I’m also amazed at the number of vendors that never even tell you what product they’re talking about and don’t reference it in the slides.

Tell me how it is priced, sold and licensed.

Tell me cool customer stories

Don’t

Rely on an engineer to explain things — if the marketing/sales guy can’t explain it or doesn’t understand it, you’re not ready to brief an analyst.

BAD: “I’ll have to check with one of our engineers on that”

WORSE: The engineer is on the call and confuses the situation more.

Badmouth competitors — there’s just no excuse for that. If you think you do something better or have an advantage, fine — tell me that. But don’t start telling me how much more effective your product is unless you’ve got some data from a study that I can review. And no, a Ponemon PDF is not “data from a study”.

Make fun of other products — I’ve found this usually backfires. In almost every case I’ve seen a vendor do this, the flaw they’re pointing out exists in their own product as well.

Example: a security awareness vendor was campaigning a piece on “AV’s Dirty Little Secret”, which turned out to be that AV wasn’t 100% effective. No shit! What’s the effectiveness of security awareness tools again?

Make me fill out a form on your website to get basic details about your products. Often, to fill gaps in the briefing, I’ll go to the website to fill in the details. Maybe I forgot to ask what platforms the product is compatible with, or when the company was founded. Please don’t make it hard to find this information. If you put me in a position where I have to endure sales calls in exchange for basic information, I will hate you.

Expect me to be impressed about your lightweight agent, CISO dashboard or the founder’s time in Unit 8200.

Suggestions for the Analyst

Explain how your firm works — if briefings rarely result in coverage, let them know ASAP, because that’s typically not the norm (or so I’ve been told). What interactions are paid vs free? How are meetings scheduled?

Manage expectations before the call — what are you looking to get out of it? That will impact who the vendor needs to schedule for the call, what materials need to be prepped or how long the call needs to be.

Stop the presenter if they’re going into stuff that isn’t a good use of your time. Redirect the conversation down a more productive path.

Stop the presenter if you don’t understand something. Don’t just nod and let them continue. Don’t be afraid of feeling dumb. When I started as an analyst, I had never heard “north-south” or “east-west” used to refer to network traffic flow before. Just a few months ago, I found the definition for “east-west” was contentious when I thought it was more straight-forward.

What is your product and what does it do? was originally published in Savage Security Blog on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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from What is your product and what does it do?

[vitalmindandbody]

If not my surname or my husband’s, could we announce our child after a New Zealand volcano?

Franki Cookney and her husband didnt much like one another surnames, so now theyre having a baby theyve decided to pick a brand-new one

When my husband, Rob, and I marriage last year, the question of what to do about our surnames just entered our debates. We are both scribes, so our epithets are on every piece of work we do. That we would save our own seemed a yielded. There was just one niggling doubt. What would happen if “were having” children?

I had always had considered that we would just protrude both our appoints on the birth credential, but I knew this didnt quite solve the problem. Whose name would go first? And which figure would end up being used?

We could use a double-barrel figure, but didnt feel our surnames, Cookney and Davies, gave themselves to hyphenation. Whichever guild you have selected, research results is clunky and we were reluctant to saddle a child with it.

We could have just choice whichever reputation clanged best with our baby first name. But in that scenario, one mother discontinues up not sharing a surname with their child and neither of us craved that. Plus, Id discovered too many tales of mothers being stopped at airport insurance because the identifies on their passports didnt parallel that of their children.

The traditional option of taking my husbands surname was never on the table. Fairly apart from the feminist principle of not was intended to renounce my identity for his, I wasnt keen on the refer. Rob supported this and was by no means offended. The tribulation was, he wasnt a fan of my mention either. Its only a bit unwieldy, he said. Its almost Cockney but not quite. Youre perpetually having to spell it out. We looked at our moms maiden identifies and our grandparents names but ever intent up back in the same plaza, feeling that it wasnt equal, that picking one back of the family over another wasnt fair.

We hit on the idea of taking a new identify about a year ago when before our wedding we went to write our wills. As we chit-chat to one of the solicitors, it transpired that he and his wife had done precisely this. Theres a fair bit of admin, but its good, it cultivates, he said , nodding decisively. Abruptly, it didnt seem so outlandish. This wasnt some childish uprising or bohemian pretentiousness, this was something advocates did!

We mooted it with acquaintances, who were largely unfazed. What appoint will you go for? was the thing they were most curious about. Good topic. Could we blend the letters of our identifies and develop something new, we speculated. Rolls were drawn: Dents, Cave, Devine, Kinsey, Dacovnicks Cookies? Nothing of them quite hit the mark.

As our bridal sucked nearer, we employed the name game on a back burner. But when I became pregnant three months later, “were in” forced to look at developments in the situation anew and decided to change tack. How about a plaza? I proposed. Somewhere weve visited that we enjoyed. A backpacking stint before we got married had left us with slew to choose from but most sounded fairly bizarre when attributed to a couple of ordinary Brits. Rob and Franki Tongariro owned any particular vigour, but mentioning yourself after a New Zealand volcano would be ridiculous. And Zhangjiajie might conjure recognitions of impressive Chinese mountains, but imagine having to incantation it every time you booked a hair appointment or called your internet provider. For a while Salento and Chaltn were on the inventory, after places in Colombia and Argentina. But we werent convinced we are to be able pull off the clearly Latino-sounding former and supposed the latter would result in a lifetime of rectifying people who pronounced it Charlton.

Then Rob said, What about Stone Town? The beautiful old-time town of Zanzibar City is where he had asked me to marry him. It instant appeared right. Stone was straightforward but significant. It seemed good with both our given name and after a few weeks of trying it on with other names would work well with almost anything we chose for our baby. It was perfect: a solid appoint( with possibilities for puns that was not misplaced on us) that felt like a constructive solution to our difficulty. We would prevent our original surnames for job and adopt this new family name for our personal lives.

By law, all you need to do to change your identify is, well, remained unchanged. Simply borrowing and using your brand-new reputation is enough. Informing your chronicles and registers, however, requires a document of proof such as a wedlock certificate or, in our case, a deed canvas. There is no official lane of acquiring a deed canvas. You can write one yourself employing free templates from the internet, but lack of clarity about the relevant procedures ensues in some institutions demanding an original certificate despite the fact that no such stuff dwells. You can either fight it out or you can do which is something we did and compensate 15 -2 0 for a company such as the Deed Poll Office to draw up the word on your behalf and publication and stomp it on watermarked article. Sacrificed the schedule of bodies and organisations you have to notify and the potential controversies over what constitutes an original certificate, this seemed a reasonable compromise.

Perhaps “its been” naive, but we didnt expect to meet with defiance. Uncertainty, perhaps. Intrigue, for certain. When it is necessary to getting married, we had trenched virtually every habit leading, prohibiting the wedding itself, and no one had interrogated us. Surely this too would be seen as a modern update on an outdated tradition. But where reference is announced our decided not to our families, the reaction was mixed.

Franki and Rob. Photograph: Christian Sinibaldi for the Guardian

While they understood our quandary, the common restraint was that the child would lose the connection to its family history. Try as I might, I cant understand this. To me, family history leads far deeper than ones call. Its in accordance with the rules we live, our values, the wisdom and shared know passed down through generations. It is part of the storytelling our mothers did and its in the floors we, more, “re going to tell” and the beliefs we will share.

Our springs are not in our figures, they are in our souls. My grandmother, whose surname was Jones, is important to me not because of her mention but because of her enjoy. My great-grandmother, a midwife I never even satisfied, let alone shared a figure with, forms a part of my gumption of identity. Why? Because of the acces my loving mother talks about her, because of the pictures she has coated in my head of that life, that family, that time.

Interestingly, the figure itself has also substantiated a sticking point, with a few people commenting that its digesting. Youre doing this really unusual thing but youve picked a really everyday figure, said one colleague, as though by doing something different “weve been” obliged to go the whole hog and call ourselves Rob and Franki Thundercats.

In fact, the accessibility of the call was something we concluded would help us sell the idea. It is about to change we were naive there, too. My mother, a former primary school teacher, insisted that someone called Stone would be pestered. Another relative described it as a dead weight of a name.

In my experience, boys will come up with nicknames no matter what. I wasted much of my school years known as Franki Cookie while my first name was regularly elongated to Frankenstein, Frankincense or Frankfurter.

Never tell people your identify picks in advance, advised one sidekick( too late ). Its as if telling beings in advance is inviting a exchange or consultation!

While my familys sensibilities apparently matter to me, I suspect she might be right. Ultimately, this is our decision, based on our requires, and I hope they will come to see it as a practical and positive move , not an reckless one.

Its almost impossible to get everyone on board, adviser another friend, who changed her surname by deed canvas in 2004. The meaning upset my grandma but my dad, her son, understood. When I wedded my husband, he took my appoint. Im still not sure two brothers was 100% behind us, but when we had our first son, he was the first to be born into our dynasty. Im so excited that we are the first in our tree!

This is exactly how I detect. I enjoy the relevant recommendations that our newborn will be born into this new, specially chosen and carefully thought-out last name. And if one day he or she decides to change it either to something new or to one of our old family names we will fully support that.

Even when you change names, lineage can still be traced and, if nothing else, I like to think we will be gazed back on as the ones who tried something new; who instead of obliging do with an unsatisfactory statu, remembered creatively about how to solve it. Thats a family bequest Im joyous with.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

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[snazzyo]

The Frustration of Explaining White Privilege

I’m white. Let’s make that clear. I’m also female.  But I have tried to explain how white privilege benefits my family, my friends, my co-workers.  I’m batting about .300.  And I think I’m a reasonably well articulated woman.  Now I can tell you that I do MUCH better with women than men.  Women can ‘see’ the issue even if they were not aware of it before.  Some men, who have been very open minded on almost all social issues will still give a look like I’ve grown a third eye.  So, I thought I’d at least try to explain what approach seems to finally hit the central CPU and what does not (in my attempts thus far).  If this topic is of interest to you, excellent.  If not, please don’t yell at me. I’m not attempting to ‘white-splain’ as if I had the answers.  Clearly I don’t.  A batting average of .300 sucks.  

WHERE I’M COMING FROM: So, as I’m not a person of color, I can’t start off with “I know how POC feel.”  But I don’t think that should stop me from trying to get at the answer regarding communication with other white people to open their eyes.  I’m REQUIRED to at least try. First, I have zero issue acknowledging that as a white woman I have lived a life of opportunities that came to me that many POC do not.  I’ve done well from an external statistics point of view (income, career, family, etc..).  But I do have one relatively unusual experience, however, that has given me a window into seeing privilege from both sides.  

As a military officer, when I was wearing civilian clothes and speaking with customer service in any area where civilians were allowed, I would often find a relaxed attitude by those providing service.  Usually they were very helpful, on a rare occasion they were not.  And then when they asked to see my ID (you have to show your ID for everything on a military base), I would literally watch their face, body posture, and attitude shift.  Out came the “Yes ma’am’s”, they stood up straight, the chit chat was gone, and I got whatever I wanted accomplished with little to no hesitation.  That little green “active duty” card along with my rank turned me into someone different in their eyes.  In fact, I’d say it was pretty close to ‘white male privilege’.  I had power in their eyes (and in truth), and everything changed.  I would continue on with my casual dialog but that ‘relationship’ was gone.  And although I missed some of the previous openness of conversation, I also secretly was glad that I provided a reminder that the times were changing and to not presume my gender meant ‘dependent’. And here’s the truth, it was USEFUL.  I never threw around my rank, but just knowing I could?  Well, it gave me a confidence in interacting with others.  Still, to this day, I have that straight-forward confidence of expecting to be treated well.  But now that I’m retired, I can see the difference in attitude.  Not when I’m working with military personnel. Even retired, the rank ‘continues’ to some extent.  But with civilians in the engineering world?  “Please justify your salary compared to your peers (i.e. all men)” was literally required of me at one point.  Now, this gender inequity, at a minimum, rankles, but it’s not nearly the same as the power inequity that I see POC facing. So I’m coming from a perspective of trying to leverage my experience of being perceived as not having power vs having power to help my arguments with people who do not ‘see’ white privilege.  

The first reaction when I talk about white privilege is the “I worked for what I have.” They see the years of education, the long hours of work, and dedication to their profession as honorable.  And there is an immediate defensiveness that by saying they have ‘white privilege’ I’m saying they don’t deserve what they have accomplished.  This is going to be a losing argument.  Of course they worked hard.  But the idea that they drove the race in a Ferarri while others weren’t even driving a car (they were getting a lift on the public bus) makes it feel like somehow the person in the Ferarri cheated. Our culture sells the “American Dream” of get educated and becoming anything you want. And white people see a lot of competition within their universe for the best jobs, the best ‘fill in the blank’.  So they think they’ve overcome adversity.  That’s their normal. So I tell them my little “with and without military ID” story and they chalk that up to ‘not a major issue’. Still, I get a FEW people who understand the concept of power/no-power.  Just a few.  But most cannot separate their personal success and other’s personal inequities.  They will rapidly admit they were lucky they were born white, but they still feel that somehow admitting others were disadvantaged by being born a POC diminishes their own accomplishments.  To me, it’s the ‘scarcity mentality’. The idea that there is only so much pie, and so if they unfairly got more pie, they’ve done something wrong. And it’s too late to turn back in that college degree, house, and family.  So, they’d rather not think about it. 

The next strong reaction is when I try to talk about the inequities of the criminal justice system. Now the statistics come out. Again, they don’t see that systemic racism DROVE the statistics in the first place.  I’m have some success when I compare the story of Brock Turner (the white rapist from Stanford) versus Brian Banks (the innocent man who served time for rape due to false allegations).  If I still have my audience, who has possibly said “that’s one example”, I hit them with the $75M payout by New York City for unlawful arrest of over 900,000 people. Eyes glaze.  They are still uncomfortable with the topic and think I might have a point, but they really don’t want to continue talking now.   ‘And... and it would all be better if there just weren’t so many X. X being drugs, gangs, poor, etc... Those are the issues, not the color of a persons skin.’  Still missing the point that the color of a person’s skin is WHY they live in an environment with more “X”. So it fundamentally comes down to people using statistics in whatever way proves their inherent bias. Only unambiguous statistics are really useful in those arguments. 

Finally, if I’ve talked at length and gotten someone to see the problems of systemic racism, I have a hard time getting them to take up the cause. It’s like ‘racism’ is the third rail of social politics.  If they touch it, they might get fried.  They might do it ‘wrong’.  They might be told to ‘shut up because your opinion doesn’t matter’. Or they might find out that they’ve lived a life of privilege and never acknowledged it’s value to them.  That despite working so hard, they need to help others get that same blessing they have.  We have GOT to come up with a lexicon that allows people to discuss the topic. I’ve taken the white-on-white training approach but, again, batting .300. 

But now we’re back to pie.  The socially conscious individual will state there is enough pie for everyone.  In my opinion, it is the underlying competition in America that drives the systemic racism that created the white privilege in the first place.  And keeps it in place.  Even many of those who readily acknowledge systemic racism are at a loss as to what, precisely, to do. I’m personally going with 1) acknowledge, 2) consciously factor it in decision making, 3) make others aware, and 4) help overcome where I can. 

So now I’ll come to the two ‘hot-button’ issues of the month. Kneeling for the National Anthem and “Black Lives Matter”.  Well damn. We have Neo-Nazi’s marching in Charlottesville.  I think ignoring racial tension has become absurd.  The Neo-Nazi’s have almost done us a favor. They’ve found their ‘power’ in Donald Trump and are running to try and leverage that power.  Their economic situation has worsened, which has NOTHING to do with POC but it’s a pie issue, so it’s immediately conflated.  And now in frustration, like so many dictators of the past, Trump is fueling hate speech and giving them an outlet by blaming immigrants.  He’s a flat out bigot for everything but white males. But his target of interest is the immigrants with emphasis on Hispanic and Muslims.  How inconvenient for him that the Black Lives Matter movement won’t go away.  So he frames the issue around patriotism and the service of the military and the police. And the people who think they are ‘supporting the flag’ are often the same as those who won’t touch that third rail of social politics.  Strawmen arguments about player salaries come out. And THEY SUCCEED.  Because the players protesting don’t look disadvantaged.  Yet it is only BECAUSE they are protesting that we even are having the conversation.  Well, white privilege people don’t want to have that conversation.  ‘And why can’t they just protest outside a courthouse or something rather than bring an uncomfortable topic into my living room?’  No, they won’t say that outloud.  But we’re back to pie and the white privilege of not wanting to think about how much pie they have versus others.  And we don’t want to talk about that so we rally around the American Flag when in fact it’s the Constitution that is our unifying governance.  So.. the challenge is to get people to see that it’s time to have the uncomfortable conversations.  (Okay, it’s about 300 years late in having the conversation .. but it’s coming to a head).  And then theirs the “Black Live Matter” movement.  And the grade school response is “All Lives Matter.”  I’m going to be honest, I think the “Black Lives Matter” is 100% spot-on regarding topic, but I think the slogan was easy to manipulate for the uninformed. If you ask a socially conscious person should black people’s lives be treated with the same respect as white, their immediate response is “obviously.”  But the slogan has two basic interpretations that are put out “ONLY Black Lives Matter” or “Black Lives Matter TOO”.  The people behind “Black Lives Matter” were, in my opinion, going after the second interpretation.  But it’s the first interpretation that is allowing reasonable people to think that there is something wrong with the movement.  The first interpretation is, of course, the one that racist agitators love to rally around.  I realize this is obvious, but not everyone sees the manipulation and thus they fall for it. 

So, what do I recommend from my white privilege position? (note: if you don’t want to know... don’t read it.. I’ll listen to reasonable constructive criticism... but if you just want to yell at me for bothering to write at all?  WHY are you following me?  These are not the droids you are looking for)   Well, I want to change hearts and minds of those in power (the white people). Because I believe that until they recognize that a system based primarily on only white people having power is inherently un-American, systemic racism is not going to get resolved.  Those in power rarely give it up.  But I do believe it can be done.  Peacefully and rapidly. Not in some far off generation. And I’ll continue to do my own research and reading articles and passing on statistics and listening to other people’s stories (which are far more compelling than mine) in order to improve my engagement with other white people about privilege.  But here’s what would help. First, I think the NFL players are free to each do their own thing, but a unified approach about how to show team unity and support of correcting the inequities of racial-based police brutality would be a good thing.  IF they could unite to at least make it less individually interpret-able by team, that would help make the message clear.  But I strongly support their right to make that protest during the national anthem.  As for Black Lives Matter, I wish we could come up with a slogan that isn’t so easily manipulated.  The truth behind it is unambiguous in my mind. But I think you can’t presume that everyone understand the “Too” versus the “Only”.  It’s not yielding the conversation we need to have. Instead we are talking about pie. We need to get the focus to shift to treating POC with the same power and dignity we treat white people. To stop the violence against POC. I wish I had the eloquence of a Lin Manuel-Miranda to come up with a phrase that speaks to every rational American and cannot be hijacked by those who propagate system racism. I don’t have those words yet. I just know we need them. 

Comments and constructive criticism welcome. Name calling and insults, not so much. 

[allardjeremyballard]

August 23, 2017 AsktheBuilder Newsletter

I've been back home a week now from my out West little-man self-discovery trip. It didn't take me long to get back in the swing of things!

Just four days ago, I connected up lots of low-voltage wires to power up my Trex Transcend deck lights. It really adds a distinctive touch to the deck.

All of the deck railing posts have a light cap at the top. There are four LED lights in each cap so the entire post is aglow and washes soft light down to the deck. All of the stair risers have a recessed light bored into the riser.

What do you think about how it looks? You'd think it was daylight based on how bright the lake water is in this photo. Believe me, it was pretty dark out there! Trex has really done a fine job of making this lighting system plug 'n play. It was caveman simple to install them. The stair riser lights are ideal and make all the steps very safe to use at night.

CLICK HERE to discover more about Trex Transcend decking.

Attention Juicer and Vitamix Users!

Do you have a juicer machine or a Vitamix blender? After using it for a few months, does it look sort of like you ground up old car engine parts?

Want to know how to clean one EASILY? Are you part of an online Vitamix or juicer users group? If so, can you please spread the word through that group about this article I just wrote?

If you have any food-stained containers or appliances in your kitchen, you want to read this.

CLICK HERE to read it.

Build Your Dream House Here

How would you like to own three large waterfalls? I've got something for you where you can construct your dream home.

The photo below was taken by my very talented neighbor Bob Broadhurst. These falls are on my land and would make a great source of hydroelectric power.

There are two other major waterfalls, the second one about 35 feet tall and straight down. The third cascade drops into a private swimming hole that's ideal for those warm summer days when you want to cool off. My good friends Bob and Loreli Rankin made their dream of owning land like this come true about ten months ago. They found a one-in-a-million lot in upstate New York not too far away from New York City.

Kathy and I have decided to sell the 90 acres we own in central New Hampshire. It's a stunning piece of land to put it mildly.

If you don't want or need it, perhaps you know someone who is looking for that RARE find. The new buyer may keep this land in his and his family's possession for the next hundred years.

Now is the time to get it.

CLICK HERE to discover more about the property and to see stunning photos and VIDEO of the waterfalls. Wait until you see the fall color photo. Holy smokes, I did NOT do any color enhancement with that photo.

Brass Polishing Secrets Revealed!

Have you struggled to polish brass? Do you know once it's polished, the brass is very ANGRY at you?

CLICK HERE to discover how to easily polish brass and keep it shiny.

Great Powerful Scissors

Fiskars sent me some scissors to test. I have to tell you I was impressed.

It's important to match a pair of scissors to the task. If you don't, you run the risk of springing the scissors or just overworking your hand.

What you see above are the PowerArc series. These are 10-inch scissors and great for cutting multiple pieces of paper at once without tearing.

I also used them to cut postcard stock and they did a magnificent job.

CLICK HERE to see many different Fiskars Powerarc scissors.

I'm confident you'll like these.

If you're a new subscriber, you need to know I only talk about products that I LOVE and would use in my own home.

I test everything BEFORE I share with you.

Building a Deck Seating Bench

Want to see some pretty good step-by-step photos of a deck seating bench I built?

CLICK HERE.

Jamie in Bermuda

Back two months ago, I got to do a rare international AsktheBuilder Meet Up. It was with Jamie in Bermuda.

Jamie is a structural / civil engineer on the island. He also does high-end house inspections I believe.

We had lunch close to the Norwegian Dawn cruise ship and unfortunately Jamie had to scoot to an appointment. We could have chit chatted for another hour with no trouble.

Somehow in a fit of uncontrolled idiotocy, I DELETED the photo taken by a stranger of Jamie and me outside the restaurant. DANG IT!

That's quite enough for today.

Try to help me find the best buyer who will appreciate the 90 acres in NH!

Tim Carter Founder - www.AsktheBuilder.com

Do It Right, Not Over! (this includes spelling *right* rigt)

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[vitalmindandbody]

If not my surname or my husband’s, could we announce our child after a New Zealand volcano?

Franki Cookney and her husband didnt much like one another surnames, so now theyre having a baby theyve decided to pick a brand-new one

When my husband, Rob, and I marriage last year, the question of what to do about our surnames just penetrated our debates. We are both scribes, so our mentions are on every piece of work we do. That we would impede our own seemed a rendered. There was just one niggling disbelief. What would happen if “were having” children?

I had always had considered that we would just lodge both our appoints on the birth certificate, but I knew this didnt quite resolve the problem. Whose refer would go first? And which identify would end up being used?

We could use a double-barrel appoint, but didnt seem our surnames, Cookney and Davies, lent themselves to hyphenation. Whichever guild you choose, the result is clunky and we were reluctant to saddle small children with it.

We could have just picked whichever epithet voiced best with our newborn given name. But in that scenario, one parent objective up not sharing a surname with their child and neither of us required that. Plus, Id discovered too many tales of mothers being agreed upon at airfield security because the epithets on their passports didnt competitor that of their children.

The conventional option of taking my husbands surname was never on the table. Fairly apart from the feminist principle of not wanting to abdicate my identity for his, I wasnt keen on the name. Rob supported this and was by no means offended. The hardship was, he wasnt a fan of my appoint either. Its exactly a bit unwieldy, he said. Its virtually Cockney but not quite. Youre constantly having to spell it out. We looked at our babies maiden reputations and our grandparents names but always purposed up back in the same lieu, feeling that it wasnt equal, that picking one side of the family over another wasnt fair.

We hit on the idea of taking a new mention about a year ago when before our marry we went to write our wills. As we chit-chat to one of the attorneys, it transpired that he and his wife had done precisely this. Theres a fair fleck of admin, but its good, it drives, he said , nodding decisively. Abruptly, it didnt seem so outlandish. This wasnt some foolish rebellion or bohemian pretentiousness, this was something lawyers did!

We mooted it with friends, who were largely unfazed. What call will you go for? was the thing they were most strange about. Good topic. Could we blend the messages of our reputations and form something new, we wondered. Directories were built: Gouges, Cave, Devine, Kinsey, Dacovnicks Cookies? Nothing of them quite hit the mark.

As our bridal outlined nearer, we threw the reputation activity on a back burner. But when I became pregnant 3 months later, “were in” forced to look at the situation afresh and decided to change tacking. How about a place? I suggested. Somewhere weve called that we loved. A backpacking stint before we got married had left us with spate to choose from but most sounded moderately ludicrous when attributed to got a couple of ordinary Brits. Rob and Franki Tongariro owned any particular vitality, but referring yourself after a New Zealand volcano would be ridiculous. And Zhangjiajie might make storages of splendid Chinese mountains, but imagine having to spell it every time you booked a “hairs-breadth” appointment or called your internet provider. For a while Salento and Chaltn were on the roster, after places in Colombia and Argentina. But we werent convinced we are to be able pull off the undoubtedly Latino-sounding former and supposed the latter would result in a lifetime of redressing people who pronounced it Charlton.

Then Rob said, What about Stone Town? The beautiful age-old city of Zanzibar City is where he had asked me to marry him. It instant appeared right. Stone was straightforward but significant. It resounded good with both our first names and after a few weeks of trying it on with other refers would work well with almost anything we decide to for our baby. It was perfect: a solid name( with a potential for puns that was not lost on us) that felt like a constructive solution to our trouble. We would maintain our original surnames for production and accept this new family name for our personal lives.

By law, all you need to do to change your mention is, well, change it. Simply adopting and using your new epithet is enough. Informing your details and records, however, requires a document of proof such as a wedding certificate or, in our case, a deed poll. There is no official lane of acquiring a deed poll. You can write one yourself applying free templates from the internet, but need of lucidity about the relevant procedures outcomes in some institutions asking an original certificate despite the fact that no such concept exists. You can either fight it out or you can do which is something we did and offer 15 -2 0 for a company such as the Deed Poll Office to draw up the letter on your behalf and publication and stomp it on watermarked article. Generated the roll of bodies and organisations you have to notify and the potential arguings over what constitutes an original certification, this seemed a reasonable compromise.

Perhaps it was naive, but we didnt expect to meet with resistance. Uncertainty, perhaps. Intrigue, for certain. When it came to getting married, we had trenched virtually every habit get, prohibiting the union itself, and no one had interrogated us. Surely this too would be seen as a modern updated information on an outdated habit. But when we announced our decision to our families, the reaction was mixed.

Franki and Rob. Picture: Christian Sinibaldi for the Guardian

While they understood our quagmire, the common restraint was that the child would lose the connection to its family history. Try as I might, I cant know what this is. To me, family history departs far deeper than ones identify. Its in the way we live, our values, the knowledge and shared event passed down through generations. It is part of the storytelling our parents did and its in the floors we, more, will tell and the beliefs we will share.

Our springs are not in our identifies, they are in our mettles. My grandmother, whose surname was Jones, is important to me not because of her identify but because of her love. My great-grandmother, a midwife I never even convened, let alone shared a epithet with, forms a part of my gumption of identity. Why? Because of the style my own mother talks about her, because of the pictures she has covered in my heads of state of that life, that kinfolk, that time.

Interestingly, the identify itself has also testified a sticking point, with a few people commenting that its carrying. Youre doing this really unusual thing but youve picked a really everyday refer, said one colleague, as though by doing something different “weve been” obliged to go the whole hog and call ourselves Rob and Franki Thundercats.

In fact, the accessibility of the appoint was something we pondered would be used sell the idea. It is about to change we were naive there, more. My father, a former primary school teacher, insisted that someone called Stone would be teased. Another relative described it as a dead weight of a name.

In my experience, minors will come up with names no matter what. I invested much of my school years known as Franki Cookie while my first name was routinely elongated to Frankenstein, Frankincense or Frankfurter.

Never tell people your identify picks in advance, admonished one pal( too late ). Its as if telling people in advance is inviting a exchange or consultation!

While my familys seems undoubtedly are important to me, I suppose she might be right. Eventually, this is our decision, based on our requires, and I hope they will come to see it as a practical and positive step , not an reckless one.

Its almost impossible to get everyone on board, adviser another friend, who changed her surname by deed canvas in 2004. The thought upset my grandma but my pa, her son, understood. When I wedded my husband, he took my identify. Im still not sure his brother was 100% behind us, but when we had our first son, he was the first to be born into our empire. Im so excited that we are the first in our tree!

This is exactly how I experience. I affection the idea that our newborn will be born into this new, specifically opted and carefully thought-out family name. And if the working day he or she decides to change it either to something new or to one of our age-old family name we will fully support that.

Even when you change names, ancestry going to be able be traced and, if nothing else, I like to think we will be examined back on as all those people who tried something new; who instead of clearing do with an unsatisfactory situation, guessed creatively about how to solve it. Thats their own families bequest Im happy with.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

The post If not my surname or my husband’s, could we announce our child after a New Zealand volcano? appeared first on vitalmindandbody.com.

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[vitalmindandbody]

If not my surname or my husband’s, could we call most children after a New Zealand volcano?

Franki Cookney and her husband didnt much like each others surnames, so now theyre having a baby theyve decided to pick a brand-new one

When my husband, Rob, and I marriage last year, the question of what to do about our surnames scarcely recruited our discussions. We are both scribes, so our names are on every piece of work we do. That we would deter our own seemed a yielded. There was just one niggling disbelieve. What would happen if “were having” brats?

I had always thought that we would just deposit both our identifies on the birth credential, but I knew this didnt fairly resolve the problem. Whose identify would go first? And which reputation would end up being used?

We could use a double-barrel call, but didnt detect our surnames, Cookney and Davies, gave themselves to hyphenation. Whichever guild you choose, research results is clunky and we were reluctant to saddle a child with it.

We could have just preferred whichever call sounded best with our babys first name. But in that scenario, one parent culminates up not sharing a surname with their child and neither of us wanted that. Plus, Id sounded too many fables of parents being agreed upon at airport protection because the refers on their passports didnt equal that of their children.

The traditional alternative of taking my husbands surname was never on the table. Fairly apart from the feminist principle of not wanting to renounce my identity for his, I wasnt keen on the identify. Rob supported this and was by no means offended. The fus was, he wasnt a fan of my appoint either. Its precisely a bit unwieldy, he said. Its almost Cockney but not quite. Youre perpetually having to spell it out. We looked at our moms maiden reputations and our grandparents names but ever intention up back in the same plaza, feeling that it wasnt equal, that picking one surface of their own families over another wasnt fair.

We hit on the idea of taking a new reputation about a year ago when before our bridal we went to write our wills. As we chit-chat to one of the attorneys, it transpired that he and his wife had done precisely this. Theres a fair fragment of admin, but its good, it operates, he did , nodding decisively. Unexpectedly, it didnt seem so outlandish. This wasnt some childish disobedience or bohemian pretentiousness, this was something solicitors did!

We mooted it with friends, who were largely unfazed. What appoint will you go for? was the thing they were most strange about. Good query. Could we mix the messages of our identifies and establish something new, we wondered. Directories were attained: Dents, Cave, Devine, Kinsey, Dacovnicks Cookies? Nothing of them quite hit the mark.

As our wedding gleaned nearer, we made the appoint competition on a back burner. But when I became pregnant 3 months later, we were forced to look at the situation afresh and decided to change tacking. How about a plaza? I intimated. Somewhere weve inspected that we enjoyed. A backpacking stint before we got married had left us with plenty to choose from but most sounded reasonably bizarre when attributed to a couple of ordinary Brits. Rob and Franki Tongariro possessed any particular sparkle, but reputation yourself after a New Zealand volcano would be ridiculous. And Zhangjiajie might create retentions of dazzling Chinese mountains, but imagine having to spell it every time you booked a whisker appointment or called your internet provider. For a while Salento and Chaltn were on the roster, after places available in Colombia and Argentina. But we werent convinced we are to be able pull off the patently Latino-sounding former and supposed the latter would lead to a lifetime of chastening people who enunciated it Charlton.

Then Rob mentioned, What about Stone Town? The beautiful old-time township of Zanzibar City is where he had asked me to marry him. It instant detected right. Stone was straightforward but important. It seemed good with both our given name and after a few weeks of trying it on with other names would work well with almost anything we decide to for our newborn. It was perfect: a solid epithet( with a potential for puns “thats really not” misplaced on us) that felt like a constructive solution to our problem. We would impede our original surnames for piece and accept this new family name for our personal lives.

By law, all you need to do to change your figure is, well, change it. Simply choosing and using your brand-new call is enough. Informing your reports and accounts, however, requires a document of proof such as a wedding certificate or, in such cases, a deed canvas. “Were not receiving” official acces of buying a deed referendum. You can write one yourself using free templates from the internet, but deficiency of clarity about the process results in some institutions demanding an original certificate despite the fact that no such situation exists. You can either fight it out or you can do which is something we did and offer 15 -2 0 for a company such as the Deed Poll Office to draw up the character on your behalf and print and stamp it on watermarked article. Established the directory of bodies and organisations you have to notify and the health risks arguments over what constitutes an original credential, this seemed a reasonable compromise.

Perhaps “its been” naive, but we didnt expect to meet with resist. Uncertainty, perhaps. Intrigue, for sure. When it came to getting married, we had trenched virtually every habit extending, prohibiting the matrimony itself, and no one had wondered us. Surely this too would be seen as a modern updated information on an outdated habit. But when we announced our decision to our families, the reaction was mixed.

Franki and Rob. Photo: Christian Sinibaldi for the Guardian

While they understood our predicament, the common refrain was that the child would lose the connection to its family history. Try as I might, I cant know what this is. To me, family history exits far deeper than ones call. Its in accordance with the rules we live, our values, the prudence and shared ordeal passed down through generations. It is part of the storytelling our parents did and its in the stories we, more, will tell and the beliefs we will share.

Our roots “re not in” our refers, they are in our middles. My grandmother, whose surname was Jones, is important to me not because of her appoint but because of her ardour. My great-grandmother, a midwife I never even satisfied, let alone shared a appoint with, formations a part of my gumption of identity. Why? Because of the lane my own mother talks about her, because of the pictures she has decorated in my heads of state of that life, that clas, that time.

Interestingly, the reputation itself has also testified a sticking point, with a few people commenting that its abiding. Youre doing this really unusual thing but youve picked a really ordinary appoint, said one colleague, as though by doing something different we are obliged to go the whole hog and announce ourselves Rob and Franki Thundercats.

In fact, the accessibility of the name was something we contemplated would be used sell the idea. It turns out we were naive there, too. My mom, a former primary school teacher, insisted that someone called Stone would be teased. Another relative describing him as a dead weight of a name.

In my experience, boys will come up with monikers no matter what. I wasted often of my school years known as Franki Cookie while my given name was often elongated to Frankenstein, Frankincense or Frankfurter.

Never tell people your call alternatives in advance, admonished one pal( too late ). Its as if telling parties in advance is inviting a talk or consultation!

While my familys thinks undoubtedly matter to me, I suspect she might be right. Ultimately, this is our decision, based on our necessities, and I hope they will come to see it as a practical and positive step , not an reckless one.

Its almost impossible to get everyone on board, adviser another friend, who changed her surname by deed ballot in 2004. The idea upset my grandmother but my daddy, her son, understood. When I married my husband, he took my epithet. Im still not sure two brothers was 100% behind us, but when we had our first son, he was the first to be born into our dynasty. Im so excited that we are the first in our tree!

This is exactly how I find. I affection the idea that our baby will be born into this new, specially elected and carefully thought-out family name. And if the working day he or she decides to change it either to something new or to one of our old last name we will fully support that.

Even when you change names, ancestry can still be traced and, if nothing else, I like to think we will be looked back on as the ones who tried something new; who instead of forming do with an unsatisfactory place, considered creatively about how to solve it. Thats their own families bequest Im glad with.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

The post If not my surname or my husband’s, could we call most children after a New Zealand volcano? appeared first on vitalmindandbody.com.

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