#((and the only upside to that would be that; yeah; wilhelm would be at the forefront of giving them the boot))

[theheadlessgroom]

Randall was similarly gobsmacked by this announcement, brows rising in genuine surprise, and despite his excitement at the idea of getting to spend more time with his grandparents, he couldn't help but have the same reservations Emily did: What if they regretted it? They no doubt had whole afterlives back in Louisiana, surely they had friends and neighbors they would miss, and who they'd miss in turn, wouldn't they? New Orleans was their home, after all-did they really want to leave it all behind after a month in Anaheim?

But if Randall and Emily were unsure of this choice, August and Josephine seemed very set in their decision; neither of them took any offense to Emily's questions, with the Burke matriarch answering, "We've had more than enough time, in my opinion. Certainly, being close to our daughter again is a big part of our choice; it has been heaven meeting our family for the first time, and I think it would break both our hearts to leave, even if we did come back for holidays.

But to tell you the truth, dearheart...the biggest part of this is the fact that we're among honest, like-minded folks here at Gracey Manor. And that's something we've come to see is in short supply back in New Orleans."

Between these happy memories made under the Gracey's roof were stories of the past, accounts from June, Wilhelm, and Randall about the way they were treated by their neighbors in the years following August and Josephine's deaths. Neighbors, who happily greeted the Burkes by name, complimented their home, made small talk when out in town, were the same people who shunned their daughter, scorned their son-in-law, and reviled their grandson. These people, who knew damn well whose parents they were talking to, happily smiled and played nice with August and Josephine, while no doubt remembering their daughter and her family, and the way they treated them. And Josephine had a sinking feeling they had no regrets for that treatment.

How could they? How could they stand there and talk to Josephine and her husband about anything and everything, be downright chummy with them, when they knew perfectly well they were never the same way towards June? How could they sit there and act so lovely, while no doubt recalling their daughter, and how she fell from grace, marrying an Irishman and raising a son with him...?

It made her ectoplasm boil like a kettle left on the stove too long, but the genuine kindness and welcoming warmth of the Mansion and its residence helped to temper her anger with her soon-to-be-ex-neighbors: They were fine folk, friendly and free-spirited, with not one bad word to say about her family. They were the sorts of people the Burkes would happily have as neighbors, and would have soon enough.

As Josephine talked with Emily, August was quick to reassure Lon and Erika that they wouldn't be gone long, saying, "We'll be back in plenty of time for Thanksgiving, don't you worry. We'd just like to go back and get some important things, such as our photo albums and some family heirlooms. As your grandmother likes to say, we'll be back in two shakes of a lambs' tail."

@beatingheart-bride

"I'd rather not find out," August chuckled nervously-as much fun as it would be to dress as a pirate, just for the party, he didn't want to spend the entirety of the celebration avoiding becoming a tasty treat for a hungry alligator. Having heard the nervousness in her husband's voice at even just the idea, Josephine reached over to squeeze his hand, assuring him, "I wouldn't let it eat you, Auggie, don't worry-not even a nibble."

"Thank you, Josie," he replied appreciatively, flashing her a shy, boyish smile (a smile he had unknowingly passed on to his grandson) as he squeezed her hand back, a sight that made the Pace brothers smile wistfully-for as much fun as they'd had at Gracey Manor, reuniting with Wilhelm, meeting their sister-in-law and their extended family, it was clear that they missed their wives and children back home in Ireland, lending a bittersweetness to the air as they sipped their stouts.

Neither Lon nor Erika missed this bittersweetness, with the latter venturing to ask, in a soft, shy voice, "Uncle Colin, Uncle Callahan...will you come back for Thanksgiving?"

"And Christmas? And New Years too?" Lon added, both of them looking at their uncles with wide, expectant eyes, looks that made the elder Pace twins chuckle as Colin assured them, "We certainly will-we'll talk it over with your aunties and cousins, and see about all of us making a trip back. It'd mean a lot for all of us to spend the holidays together-it's been too long since we celebrated with our little brother, and having everyone here...well, that makes it even more special."

"And even when we go home-and we will have to go home eventually; we can't shirk our duties at the farm forever," Callahan continued, resting a comforting hand on his young nephew's shoulder. "We'll make sure to keep plenty in touch-we'll regularly give everyone a ring, and send cards and letters too, between our visits. Trust us, lad-even when we're halfway 'round the world, it sure won't feel like it, I promise.

And besides, if there's a holiday we don't want to miss celebrating here with you, it's Saint Paddy's Day!" he added with a grin, a grin that got both Lon and Erika to brighten up a little, taking solace in the notion that it wouldn't be long before they saw one another again. "We hear tell that's your mama's birthday to boot, so we'll be sure to be here-it's gonna be a real special one!"

[insomnaticwriter]

Sara and Wille pranking Simon

Oooooo okay!!

Sara and Wille have been getting closer lately, Simon thought it was cute at first, his boy friend and sister getting along! It’s a dream come true.

That was until they wouldn’t stop messing with him. In started off in little fights, Him and Sara would be fighting and Wille would side with Sara! Blasphemous. In class Sara and Wille would always talk, leaving Simon to the side.

At first Wille thought that Sara hated him, but actually she honestly didn’t really have an opinion. Once she heard that he used to ride, she was all over him. Asking him questions, what kind of horse did he ride, did the horse have a name, how much did he do it?

Simon was getting annoyed. When Wille would come over, they would be in his room, playing video games, or studying, usually making out but who’s business is that. Certainly not Sara when she burst in one day, interrupting a very productive study date. They had gotten a whole question done. Wille didn’t even seem upset when she burst in, like his sister walking in on them on his bed wasn’t a big deal.

They talked in private too.

“So when should we do it?”

“As soon as possible. What about tonight.”

“Perfect.”

When Simon walked in on them talking it wasn’t an unusual occurrence but this seemed strange, they both jumped when he walked in.

“What are you guys talking about.” He looked at both of them. Sara looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“Nothing, we were talking about going riding tonight.”

“The stables shut down in an hour, will you have time to go?”

“Yeah, I think we will be fine.“ Sara responds.

Wille and Sara both let out a giggles. Stifling their laughs.

Simon walked back to his room, shutting the door and turning on his music, leaving Wille and Sara alone to their own devices.

Sara pulled out a glass of what looked to be water, and Wille pulled a box of attachable sticky fake bugs out of his school bag.

“Ready?“

“You have no idea.“

Wille took a few of the sticky fake bugs and placed them in one hand and took the glass of water in the other.

He walked to Simons room, knocking on the door, bugs in hand.

The door opened, an unamused Simon at his feet.

“I thought you were going to go riding.”

“Hm, I was, but then I realized how neglected my boyfriend is-“ he places a kiss on his temple.

“-and decided he might want some company.”

“I’m not neglected, I just miss you.”

That almost made Wille feel bad about what he was about to do.

While placing another kiss on his forehead he placed the fake sticky bug on Simons desk.

“Here I got you a cup of water, I’m sure with all that singing you’ll need it.”

Simon smiled that his boyfriend thought of him, he grabbed the glass and put it up to his lips.

He put it up to his lips but nothing happened.

The water was staying still because it wasn’t water at all, it was jello.

“Seriously Wille. Gelatin in my water. Did Sara put you up to this. Very funny.” He shook the glass upside down.

“I think I’m hilarious.” Wille pressed a kiss into Simons lips before pulling his towards him.

“I was just checking to see how the prank went, I didn’t want to see you two making out.”

“Then stop walking in my room Sara.”

“Hm.”

Sara walked in the room some more, looking Wilhelm in the eyes and then over at the fake bug on the desk.

“Oh my god Simon there’s spiders on your desk!”

Wille smiled as he jumped back, containing his laughter.

“Oh my god, I’ll get something to catch it!”

Simon ran out of the room as Sara took another bug out of the box and Wille did the same. Holding them up getting ready for Simon to come back.

Simon came busting in with a bowl, only to be found with two laughing idiots in his way. Wille and Sara could hardly hold it together while they held up the fake bugs to his face.

“Oh my god I hate you both.”

“You love us.” Wille replied

“Nope I hate you now, Sara: disowned, Wille: broken up with.”

“Come on you’re being dramatic Simme.”

Wille put the bugs aside and gave his boyfriend a hug, letting his face cower in his chest.

“I still hate you even though you are very comfy.”

“I’m comfy huh.”

“Shut up you’re still broken up with-“

“- and you.” He points at Sara, his face still covered by Willes chest.

“You are definitely still disowned.”

“Now you’re really dramatic.” Sara replies.

“Get out so I can yell at my boyfriend.”

Sara throws her hands in the air out of defeat and walks away.

“You gonna yell at me or are you gonna stay cuddled in my chest.”

“I’ll get around to it.”

[chayacat]

Devil’s Sweet Star (43)

Fandom: Dead by Daylight

Ghostface x Female Reader  

Rated M for Violence, Language and Smut  

***

A lot of things happened last night, a lot of revelation especially, the whole thing having been concluded by a... wild night. You could feel aches everywhere, it must be said that you did not go slowly, you and Jed... I mean Danny. It will take you some time to accept this reality. All this time, this dear Jed, this boy who seemed shy, adorable and very concerned about the others, was actually the one who at night, was going to commit murders, but also come to see you, under the name of Ghostface.  It will take you time, but you will still have to adapt quickly. Because only one misstep and Only God knows what Danny will do to you.

You were still in bed together. You felt aches and pains along your body, and it's no wonder, with the beast sleeping next to you. He was wilder than when he was Jed. much wilder. He was turned towards you, his hair scattered all over his pillow, his face peaceful. You gently release a strand of hair from his face which made him react. And without having time to realize it, you find yourself glued to him, his arms blocking you like a child who hugs his teddy bear tightly. Luckily, you're not working today. But you still want to get up. You try to get out of your way but all you get is Danny's grunts and a slightly tighter embrace.

“Hmmm... stop moving.” Said Danny grumbling a little.

“You are slightly crushing me against you. And I want to get up.” you respond.  

“Why? You don't work today, if I remember correctly.”

“Yeah, but I can’t stay in bed all day. Come on Danny...”

Danny grumbled again, letting you get up before complaining even more when he heard his phone ring. He got up, before taking the latter and looking at who dared to disturb him so early. It was his boss Mr Hembrook. You could notice that a twisted smile appeared on his face, as if he already knew why his boss was calling him. And in a sense... you also have your little idea about it.  

“Hello? In 20min? Yes of course Sir why?... Are you serious? Yes, yes, I go there right now. Okay, he's going to be happy to see me... You too sir. Good bye.” said Danny before hanging up the phone and looking at you with a wide smile.  

“What did he want?” you ask even if you already knew the answer.  

“Wilhelm is at Hoggins' villa... they have just found his body. And my boss wants me to go there to get some information. And help Wilhelm if possible.”

“I suspected it a little. You must be proud, all this time you made everyone believe that it was Hoggins who killed McKellan and made up everything to make it look like a Ghostface murder... and there... You literally turned everyone's brain upside down.”

“That's what it's like to be me. I have had plenty of time to improve since my first murder. I made mistakes, adapted my modus operandi according to the situation, and I created my own signature. I confess that I didn't really like attributing MY McKellan's murder to Hoggins, but I had to draw attention to him. In addition, this moron brought me everything I wanted on a silver platter.”

“You mean everything you found on Hoggins was true?” you replied surprised.  

“Honey, I am a criminal, but I am a journalist first and foremost. Everything I found and showed you on Hoggins is true. I can't really have fun falsifying documents that need to be published in the newspaper. Otherwise, my boss will suspect something. No one fools him so easily.” He responds before getting up and head to the wardrobe to pick up clean clothes.

“In this case I come with you.”

“Oh? Do you want to see in what state I left this bastard? You know that curiosity is an ugly flaw... but if you insist, I'm not going to say no. And that way you can reassure yourself about his death.”

You both have breakfast quickly; you get dressed and Danny took his bag that contained his journalist's belongings. You could see in his office another bag, surely the one in which he put his Ghostface’s outfit and others. You leave the apartment to get into Danny's van, setting off for Hoggins' house. It's going to be weird to go back there for a murder, when that's where the reception was held. An unforgettable evening. During the ride, you discussed everything and nothing as if it were one of your usual days. Once he arrived in front of the hoggins' house, Danny parked, turned off the engine and took your arm before you went down.

“Remember what was said last night. For everyone, I am Jed. So, no missteps, otherwise... I would be obliged to make you assimilate them... in a less diplomatic way. Oh, and try to pretend you don't know anything. Let us avoid drawing attention to ourselves.” He said before letting you go.  

You leave the vehicle and join Wilhelm in Hoggins' office where his corpse is. When you arrive in the room, a vision of horror, and a desire to vomit, took you. You turn your head by refraining from vomiting, indeed, we can say that Hoggins is dead. Danny has accomplished his little revenge with perfection. The latter was talking with Wilhelm explaining the reasons for your presence. After all, in the eyes of the law, you are a civilian, and civilians do not have to be at the crime scene.

“Are you okay Miss? If you want to vomit, you have the toilet which is just the room after from the left. Anyway, the owner of the house is no longer able to do or say anything against you.” Said Wilhelm looking at you.  

“Yes... Thank you.” you simply respond.

“Well... we can say that he was more than creative this time. I knew he had imagination but here, it's too much for me.” Said Danny.  

“The worst thing is that this bastard leaves a little note. He was the one who killed McKellan! he used Hoggins as a scapegoat. Goddamnit !” replied Wilhelm, hitting the wall next to him.  

“It cannot be said that Hoggins was a saint... there was quite a bit of evidence against him too. I think that Ghostface knew this and that he used it. This guy is always spying on his victims...”

“This is not wrong Olsen... this is not wrong. In the meantime, I thought I could end McKellan's murder, and in the end, not only it’s not the case, but I also find myself with Hoggins' murder on my hands! I'm going to smash that dirty little asshole if I catch him!”

You see Danny making a discreet but sneaky smile behind Wilhelm, something you shake your head slightly at. He had done this not only to take revenge, but also to make fun of Wilhelm. You wanted to hit him on the shoulder, but it would be useless. what is done... is done. And then, like Danny told you earlier, it's better to avoid attention on both of you.

“He literally crucified him. And turn that cross over to make him a demon. It’s really twisted. Maybe a follower of religion? One of these... Satanists? In a sense it would not surprise me. Given all the blood he sheds.” said Wilhelm.  

“Maybe... or maybe not. That's the problem with Ghostface, he knows everything about everyone, but nobody knows anything about him.” said Danny.  

“I find it strange ... he seems to appreciate you well Miss. Because all those who tried to harm you are dead.” Replied Wilhelm, looking at you.  

You look at the two men, not knowing what to answer. Danny made you understand that you had to quickly find an excuse or something to say. Otherwise, suspicions will arise on you. It was inevitable and real, Danny killed everyone who got too close to you and threatened you. Think pickle brains, think!  

“Great...as if McKellan and Hoggins hadn't been so... horrible, I had to attract the most twisted murderer in the city.” you respond, faking an annoying face.  

“All we have to do now is know why. it's not like you've been living here for a long time, and Ghostface had started his murders long before you arrived. But here, it seems that he is tired of attacking small fish, he wants to catch the bigger ones.” said Wilhelm looking at the reverse cross.

“Go find out what big fish he's going to attack next time... Me... You... or the mayor.” said Danny, taking notes.  

Wilhelm and Danny exchanged a look that meant everything. A cold settled in the room. Don’t forget that these two men do not get along at the base... If you didn't understand why with "Jed", now that you know the reality of things, with Danny, it didn't surprise you in the end. Still, be as close to the one who wants to capture you... you really have to be twisted to play so much with fire. Both took notes, observations of the crime scene, and recorded hypotheses about what might have happened.

It was demoralizing to see how Danny was making fun of Wilhelm, knowing himself that he’s the perpetrator of this murder. He knew how to lie, that's for sure. You were sure that he convinced himself of his own lies. After a few hours, you and Danny end up leaving the scene, Danny "promising" to notify the inspector if he ever had any information. On the way back, you look at Danny pouting like a child unhappy that he didn't have an ice cream.

“What?” Danny finally said.  

“You should be given the medal for the best liar in the world. And the best actor too. You act as if nothing had happened and you provoke the inspector without thinking that there will be no consequences or that he will not suspect you by saying this.” you respond.

“Ha ha I know Honey I know. I was born with this talent as an actor. It's innate in me. And the same can be said of you.”

“Except that compared to you it doesn't make me happy to lie to people. And I pray that no one will ever discover the truth.”

“Oh, you can. Because if it happens... I'd know where it came from.” replied Danny.  

You take a lunch break to eat, as usual, at the park and then around 1pm, you quickly stop at the newspaper, while Danny aka "Jed" or "Jeddy" according to Mattew, reports to his boss. It was fun to see the locals where Danny was working, you were the first "civilian" to go inside, at least to go up to the office. Usually, when you deliver the cakes for the newspaper, it’s the security guards who take care of receiving the packages.

Mr. Hembrook greeted you warmly it was the first time he smiled like this. From what Danny told you, he wasn't the type to joke about, he was someone very serious about his job. But, outside, no one knows how he is. After a few hours of discussion about the article to be published on Hoggins, a discussion in which you took part, you both leave the Roseville Gazette’s building and get back in the van.

“So? What do we do now?” you ask.  

“Well normally tonight I had planned to... find a new victim. Or start this article. But you see, I don't want to. I want to spend a quiet evening, without work, without murder, just you and me. So... What would you say about a short trip to Zanesville just you and me? there are many more things to do than here.” Danny said with a bright smile.  

“Oh, you're doing a rebellious teenage crisis again? the one who only wants to have fun and nothing else?”  

“Ha ha. Really funny. I may have been a model student, but I knew how to have fun. Okay, so? it's yes or no, Miss Rainbow...” replied Danny chuckling.

“Hey! You promised me to not call me that.” you respond, hitting him in the arm.  

“Correction, JED promised you to not call you that anymore. Not me. So?”

“...Fine. But promise me to tell anyone about that.” you said sighing before laughing.  

Danny restarted the van and set off for Zanesville. The road was made in music, and even being himself, Danny still had the same musical tastes than when he was Jed. Indeed, Zanesville has more to offer in terms of entertainment than Roseville. A big city has everything, but it will never replace the tranquillity of a peaceful small town. You looked through the window at the various shops, restaurants, libraries, and even the arcades! there were also shops that sold CDs and films. Basically, there was everything, in addition to grocery stores and small supermarkets.

“Ready to have fun?” asks Danny.  

“Ready!” You respond smiling.  

I hope for you that you know how to hold out until late... very late. Because there, with Danny... you're not ready to go to bed anytime soon. Oh no you're going to be awake all night. Let the party begin!

Until your body lets you go.  

***

(I think I'm at my... 6/7 run of Road 96 and I still never get tired of it! the good thing about this game is that each road is unique, even if we know the different answers we can give, we can create multiple situations that can lead either to our arrest, our death, or our freedom. It's a game with a gripping story and also very endearing characters. Well, I must admit that Zoe now... as soon as I see her, I want to kick her in the head. She's not a bad character, and I know she doesn't do it voluntarily, but she always puts us in danger every time we meet her. And after a while it's just irritating. I hope you’ll like this chapter like the other ones! Well, it's time for my brain to rest! Have a great weekend to you all!  See ya! )

[dafukdidiwatch]

I’m actually pissed that this is a decent movie.

<A lot of spoilers>

Overview: Arctic Researchers/Scientists stumble on Nazis who live in the center of the earth who have survived by replacing their dying tissue for living ones in a bid for immortality.

And in order for me to talk about this film, I have to talk about this:

Fucking Sky Sharks.

I hate that movie.

I hate it So Much.

I bought it from a Walmart for $10 so what a waste of movie.

The first like, 10 minutes was the movie dragging on showing everyone in the plane in the worst way possible. An old swedish man watching shitty CGI sci-fi porn. A weird gang turn priest man which I for sure might have been the main character but had the weirdest backstory that goes no where and does nothing. Some drunk guy wanting to flirt with a stewardess and the joke is that she wasn’t a super model 20 something. So after going On and ON THEN the sharks come in to show how epic they are.

And they also suck ass. I couldn’t give a shit about the CGI this is a movie about nazi sky sharks I walked in not expecting quality.

Oh yeah, Nazi’s. Forgot to mention the Nazis. Because, you know, they made the sharks. And are also zombies who rose again to take over the world. And our first look is a female blond haired officer killing people in the longest and dullest way possible. Like, there is only so many ways you can decapicate a bunch of people with wires.

After that, move into the “plot” with random ass girl #1 and random ass girl #2 where girl #1 is also in the Antarctic (shocker) and finds a boat, goes in by herself without help/backup, finds out the zombies are not only in there, but also shark tanks because this is where they were raising the sharks.

So to recap: In the COLD NEGATIVE FROSTBITING SNOW COVERED DREADNAUGHT the nazis are not only alive and NOT freezing, but the great white sharks are also alive and NOT freezing. You can say bs science, I say bs movie.

Oh and you know what the sharks feed on?

Misogyny.

God this movie hates women so much. First, multiple porn shots/sexual harassment jokes on just the plane alone (again, first 10 minutes). Then the “sexy” female zombie commander because that’s what was in the Nazi Military: Women. Not saying shit about history or anything, just saying that I know a fetish when I see one. And the Random Ass Girl #1? The reason why she was at the boat in the first place is because she was on a solo rescue mission to help some researchers who found the boat. A Guy and A Girl. The Guy was like, killed normally or shot or something I couldn’t give a shit about. The Girl was stripped naked, hung upside-down by her foot, bare naked ass shown to us, as she is fed to the shark tank.

Yeah, real women friendly.

It also doesn’t help that when Random Ass Girl #1 gets stabbed with, I guess zombie venom for ReAsOnS, she has a shower scene where it shows her being affected and poisoned under her skin....but also how Hot she is by having it shot on her boobs, check, body stretching and curling to show ALL of her body. While under a show that’s in the middle of the fucking room like it’s Hannibal Lector’s bathroom.

And you that that would be the reason I hate this movie but it isn’t dammit. The movie was dull as hell. I’m only talking about the Misogyny for so long because it was the only thing that was actually worth mentioning. I didn’t give a shit about anything else!

The acting is bad and just monotone across the board. Apparently RAG#1 and #2 are like, rich spies from a super rich family corporation which took me a full as 20 minutes to realize. And they have no idea how the fuck to plot a movie! Finding out the sky sharks were because of Dear Old Granddad, results in THREE! SEPERATE! FLASHBACKS! EACH MORE BORING THAN THE LAST!!! I have no idea how you made working with NAZIS dull as shit but this movie found a way. Instead of having the history set in the beginning of nazis doing shit as a teaser to explain later, he just tells his fucking life story of how making Sky Sharks would save the Third Reich. And I Couldn’t Give A Shit.

It got so dull and bored that I literally fast forward through the entire movie to find interesting parts. Spoiler: there was none. Not even with more sharks like eating the world could it entertain me. I just fast forwarded to the very end, and only watched 30 minutes of a 90 minute movie. God I hate Sky Sharks.

So WHY am I bringing it up? Well, it really did set expectations and a bar for Nazis at the Center of the Earth. They both have rediculous titles that you can’t take seriously or expect “great things” from. They both deal with nazis, zombie-ish nazis, genetic research, scientists in the Arctic, and Nazi’s hiding in the Arctic. That is a lot, and I just watched Sky Sharks like 2 weeks before so this was very recent and absolutely in my head.

Which is WHY this movie was a very pleasant surprise.

We start with seeing Nazis doing action pact Nazi shit escaping for science! It even has that Wilhelm scream, but the movie has plot and vision. It didn’t make the nazis seem any more than being just army soldierd and has decent action and sets expectation for the rest of the movie.

And that’s like the big difference between this and Sky Sharks: The Treatment of the Nazis. The nazis here were treated, in my view, as powerful and dangerous. They are meticulous, uncaring, cold and distant. The head Nazi is actually Dr. Mengele, he is in this movie, and he is just so apathetic to everyone.

All the Nazi’s faces were covered in mask so you couldn’t see their faces, making them inhuman. And the first Nazi face we do see is Dr. Mengele as he just, slowly cuts the face off of a person. Methodically. Meticulously. He doesn’t even talk, doesn’t react as the person begs. Just does it. And was going to do it to the girl as well but because she kept talking science, he allowed her to live.

But it was close.

In the beginning it feels like two different movies because it cuts from two researchers who got kidnapped by Nazis surviving their own horror movie trying to escape, and the rest of the researchers being in a Survival Rescue Movie trying to find them. I honestly wanted to see more of the Nazi part because that was the more engaging section. It was filmed, framed, shot as a tense horror movie, where you don’t know if she will live or die.

I also want to approve of the lack of misogyny. Like, first, the Nazis are equal treatment terrible to everyone. They shot one of the researchers who wandered in because he was Jewish. (”I’m non-practicing” lol love that line). Second, the scenes that they did were filmed in a way to highlight the horror but not the sexiness of it. The guy and girl strapped to the table, they are both naked. We don’t see the whole naked body, just enough to establish it while censoring the rest. You see Dr. Mengele looking over them, but there isn’t sign of lust. He is viewing them both as just experiments (which also adds to the horror aspect but I digress). One of the girls ends up being thrown to the Nazi Officers to be raped and killed, but we don’t see that. She doesn’t have a shirt, but it isn’t films as a “sexy” moment, the camera doesn’t move or linger on her body. It is just a straight shot, where she tries to cover herself up. When they close in on her, crawling towards her, the camera focuses more on their approach than on her while at a distance. This is scary, but it isn’t sexualized. Which I approve and is a WAY PLUS from Sky Sharks.

This movie has an odd budget too. There is a lot of CGI. And it isn’t good. Not at all. It works to show things happening like CGI tanks...CGI snow/ice. CGI Robots and lasers. They don’t hide it at all. But then, they also have amazing makeup budget because the “ripping face scene” was amazing physical effects it looked so real. The Nazis are obviously frankenstein stitched up monsters, but they are well done in makeup and design. Like all the close up shit is amazing to look at.

Overall: It was an Alright Movie. Yes, there is plot. There is tension. There is fear trying to survive with the nazi. Bad CGI, and a bit campy at the end, but nothing to detract from the actual movie. It was a fun movie.

[aphandgflover]

I've studied Nabokov's Lolita in college. I hated reading it. I hated studying it, or answering questions about it. I hated thinking about the characters' motivations. I also hated thinking about why someone would write something like that. But I had to, and you know what? I'm glad I did.

Because it made me realize that me hating the narrator and story was probably the point of the book. We usually study books meant to be beautiful, meaningful, with good messages. Through most of my school years, those were the books we were given to study, but when I got into college, I had to read books that were about as pleasant as listenning to the wilhelm scream on repeat for five hours. And they were intended to be, the same way that an artpiece can be a can of shit or an upside-down urinal.

My teachers would always say that everything in a book is intentional. This statement is probably not entirely true, because I believe even the most careful, perfectionist author will always have a moment of weakness and just use whatever word is most convenient at the moment. But things as big as the general vibe of a book is not something that can easily be missed by its own author, so if the book has a nasty vibe, that's just because the author wanted it to.

Some authors want to make you uncomfortable. They want you to read their book and cringe so hard your face feels sore. If you showed up in front of them and said "Your book is shit and I want to burn it", they would probably smile and say. "Yes! Why?"

Because that's one of the points of art. Asking "why"? Why do I hate this character? Why do I feel uncomfortable? Why was this written? For older books : why did this survive for so long? For popular books : why did people read this?

I'm an online tutor, and when it comes to literature, I always tell my students that the only way to understand a piece of work is to ask questions, and then look for clues, like a detective cracking a case. I find it tragic that so many teens and young adults are learning to do that for the first time. A lot of them just want to find the "right answer" and get the good grade, they don't even feel curious enough to look up the words they don't know. I blame the school system.

I see that on the internet too, people complaining about pieces of media daring to use the smallest amount of subtlety instead of spoon-feeding them every single message. The most recent one? Someone complaining that nobody in Helluva Boss addressed the fact that Loona, a hellhound, was shamed for using what is treated like a slur while a member of demon royalty used it repeatedly throughout the episode with no repercussions. As if the very fact that this detail stood out enough to be noticed wasn't a statement in and of itself!

This was long, but essentially, yeah, a piece of media making you uncomfortable is further reason to keep it around, because if you care enough to think about why it makes you uncomfortable, you may discover new things about yourself and grow more intelligent in the future.

Sure, some books need to be labeled, the same way food needs to be labeled with potential allergens or dangerous substances. You don't want kids reading Marquis de Sade books, at least not without knowing exactly what's in them, and what the risks are. But that's no reason to ban them, the same way we don't ban alcohol despite it being poisonous. And if you don't feel ready to step out of your comfort zone and read Sade or Nabokov, then good for you! You don't have to! Just like you don't have to drink alcohol, or go parachuting, or do anything you don't want to do!

Essentially, just educate people, teach them how to think for themselves, and then let them do that.

“Authors should not be ALLOWED to write about–” you are an anti-intellectual and functionally a conservative

“This book should be taken off of shelves for featuring–” you are an anti-intellectual and functionally a conservative

“Schools shouldn’t teach this book in class because–” you are an anti-intellectual and functionally a conservative

“Nobody actually likes or wants to read classics because they’re–” you are an anti-intellectual and an idiot

“I only read YA fantasy books because every classic novel or work of literary fiction is problematic and features–” you are an anti-intellectual and you are robbing yourself of the full richness of the human experience.

[sergeant-donny-donowitz]

All That Love Is (DonnyxFem!Reader)

Requested by @svonschroeder​

@owba-chan​ @war-obsessed​ @inglourious-imagines​ @tealaquinn​ @struggling-bee​ 

Let me know if you wanna be added to the basterds or OUATIH taglist! :)

You were leaning over Hugo, covered in his blood. His breathing had slowed, his heart rate was back to normal. His fever went on, and beads of sweat rolled down his face, as he shivered.

You were holding his hand, the only sense of warmth and humanity Hugo'd known in his life.

Wicki was doing fine, he'd been  sedated, and was sleeping in a cot a few feet away.

Hugo was harder to settle down.

Besides, he wanted to know what the fuck put him in that place anyway, so you both listened in on Aldo and Donny interrogating Bridget in the next room.

You knew that whole disaster in La Louisiane had gotten Donny riled up...but him seeing you like that with Hugo made it worse somehow.

Hugo smiled up at you softly...which was a bit unsettling, despite all the other odd signs of what was almost warmth he'd shown you before. You shook your head, "Mein Gott, du bist verdammt wahnsinnig, Hugo."

"God, you're fucken delirious, Hugo."

His voice was raspy, and low, his eyes tired, and his skin pale, but he was lively, which was unusual...and concerning, because this was Hugo Stiglitz. "Geh und sieh nach, Donny." "Go see Donny."

You rolled your eyes with a sigh, and gestured to Hugo's bloody, freshly stitched up bullet wounds. "Einer von euch braucht mich jetzt ein bisschen mehr als der andere." "One of you needs me a little more now than the other."

Hugo laughed a little, though it hurt his ribs, and he wrapped his free arm around them. "Du wärest überrascht." "You'd be surprised."

You raised your eyebrows,"What?"

Hugo sighed, "That boy talks about you all the time."

You sighed and looked down,"Well that's emabarrassing..."

Hugo shook his head...looking at you softly, like he'd never looked at anyone else. But that was all. He knew his place. He knew your place, and he knew it was by Donny, not him.

So he left well enough alone...

Besides, he'd heard the english expression: If you love someone, let them go...

And he'd much rather see you happy with Donny then perhaps be unhappy with Hugo in five years...

So he smiled, though even that hurt on some level or other, he ignored it. "Everyone understands."

You shook your head, and whispered, "Get some rest, Hugo."

"Go to him."

Before you responded, you both heard Donny shout in the other room, "FUCK. A. DUCK."

You looked to each other and smirked a little, "I think I'll wait here for a while."

Hugo nodded slowly. He looked away from you...you cared for him like no one else ever had, and that was what hurt him: Because after all that, he couldn't have your love.

That belonged to someone else, and he respected that.

And yet, it hurt.

So he looked away, his eyes lingering on the blank, cracked, ceiling until he fell asleep...

By then, the shouting had died down. Bridget was finally being treated for the bullet...but you stayed with Hugo a while longer.

You owed that much to him...your heart was aching...

He took that bullet for you.

He took it so you could see Donny one last time.

Donny and Aldo were out on the door step, smoking. Aldo listened in exasperation as Donny ranted about the boys getting hurt, and Frau von Hammersmarck's trustworthiness (or lack thereof)...

Aldo looked back at Donny, squinting little, "Well that ain't what's got you wild like a raccoon in a swamp,  is it."

Donny turned to Aldo, "What?"

He sighed, "That aint what's botherin' you, is it, son." Aldo pointed inside, down the hall, where he could see the distant outline of you sitting by Hugo, holding his hand. "It's that."

Donny scowled...

"Y/n's a nurse. Basically second nature to be so kind to a man in Hugo's shape." Donny muttered something under his breath, though it came out to sound more like a vicious growl. Aldo sighed, "You aint remember how she treated you the time you got stabbed, right about there?" He pointed to Donny's chest, "Or the time Smitty done snapped his wrist? Or when Andy's ankle twisted? You don't remember her taking care of us, every single time? Cause you damn well better be rememberin' that."

"Guess I'm bein' stupid, huh Liuetenant." Donny huffed as he crossed his arms.

"Now, I didn't say that, son. Alls I'm sayin’ is be a little more patient." Aldo smiled a little, knowing Donny loved you....he just had a bit of a hard time accepting that you were so attentive to Hugo specifically.

"Hugo loves Y/n."

"Yeah but Y/n loves you. So you ain't got nothin'  to worry 'bout, do ya?"

"I...."

Aldo sat down on the curb, "You love Y/n, dontcha?"

"Course I do."

"Means you trust her." Aldo inhaled some snuff, and looked to Donny. Aldo's eyes were red from the smoke, the long night, and the thought of  a possibility of losing basterds. "That's all that love is."

"Yeah..."

"There. Then quit your worryin'."

Donny couldn't....it wasn't so easy. He was just a jealous basterd.

You knew that.

And you braced yourself for an outburst when you left Hugo and Wicki's side.

Still, it was rare for Donny to actually react. You knew it was a trying day for everyone, and it was bound to happen.

So you passed Aldo in the hall, and he gave you an encouraging nod.

You made it to the porch, and found Donny sitting on the steps, his back to you.

He heard your footsteps, but chose not to turn around. You took a breath, then said "I know you're mad."

"I'm not mad."

"Yeah you are." You rested your fingertips on his shoulders.

His breathing was quick, huffing, and trying to hold back.

But he couldn't. Not anymore.

He looked back at you. "I WANT YOU TO TELL ME EVERYTHING. TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED. TELL ME WHAT’S WITH YOU AND HUGO. TALK TO ME."

You'd gone over it a million times.

There was nothing between you and Hugo.

You were tired too.

You'd been in the middle of that gun fight. You watched Hugo take a bullet that was meant for you. You watched Archie die. You watched Operation Kino, and the world flip upside down, not even two hours before. This was not helping.

"You wanna talk?  So let's talk!" You were done being patient with him.

Sometimes you just had to play it his way.

"I know he had a thing for you. I know he does!"

"Hugo was dying! What do you expect from me? Let him?!"

"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO-" You got in Donny's face, "AND HE DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE THAT BULLET FOR US." For a moment, Donny didn't understand. But then he saw the memories playing through your eyes like a burning reel of film, and he stumbled on his words through stubborn, gritted teeth... "You didn't have to fucking-"

"DIDN'T HAVE TO WHAT?!"

"HOLD HIM LIKE THAT."

"LIKE WHAT?!"

"YOU KNOW GODDAMN WELL LIKE WHAT."

"NO. I DON'T. I JUST KNOW YOU'RE JUST BEING SELFISH AND JEALOUS AGAIN DONNY. YOU DON'T TRUST ME." You stared into his raging, wild eyes, like those of a madman. You sighed, "And maybe....Maybe you shouldn't. Not if things are like this." You crossed your arms, and turned away.

"Y/n..."

You didn't respond.

"Y/n." Donny managed to maneuver his way and stand in front of you.

You'd never seen him like that...

You'd never seen so much rage, and so much loss at once...

For the first time ever, he couldn't tell what was in your head... Normally he could read you like a book. Normally it was as clear as a cloud on a bright blue day.

But he couldn't tell...

He couldn't see past the hazy (eye color) mist...

You clenched your jaw, and stared at him intensely, wordlessly, with emotions he couldn't  decipher.

He was scared.

Donny was convinced he'd single-handedly and foolishly lost you...

For a moment...he was truly terrified.

The only other time he was that scared was just a few hours ago, when he thought he'd lost you in the bar. He was across the street, and heard the sound of machine guns, pistols, shot guns, and screams... Then nothing... His heart stopped. And there was nothing he could do until after Aldo’s negotiations with Wilhelm, after the threat of a Mexican stand-off. At that point, he only knew Bridget was alive...and for a few minutes, he thought he lost you... He swore to himself he’d never lose you again, but there he was, on the brink of losing you pointlessly. He was lost...

In the middle of everything, you raised your finger...and you tapped him on the nose.

 You booped Donny Donowitz. He was confused for a moment... The misty storm in your eyes gave way to a warm string of light, a light laugh, and a silly smile that could save a man's life.

His heart seemed to beat again, and he practically melted for you, for reasons he couldn't explain, and never would be able to.

Something so soft, so meaningless to anyone else meant the entire world, the seas, and the night sky to him.

He held you in his arms at that moment, never wanting to let go.

And you wrapped your arms around him, though you were tiny compared to him. He was the Bear Jew after all...

But to you, he was more than that, and you told him so...

"You're just a teddy bear, and you know it."

He sighed through a smile, "Don't you dare, kid."

You smiled deviously as you looked up to him, "You're my teddy bear, and you know that. There's no one else." You put your hand against his cheek, and murmured, lost in the love in his eyes, "There never will be."

He picked you up, and swung you around, leaning his forehead against yours as he whispered, "I'm sorry..."

You wrapped your arms around his neck, and looked at him.

It had been a rouch night, but there'd been worse, and from the looks of it, there would be more.

With the continuation of Operation Kino, and the end of the night in La Louisiane, many things were uncertain...

But there were a few things you knew to be true:

You loved him, with all your heart.

And Sergeant Donny Donowitz loved you.

No war, no operation, no jealousy would ever take that from either of you again.

[tacticalgrandma]

"ooh it's chilly out" - spiderbyte // "i got a rock" sombra/gabe // "want to trade candy?" team talon

AO3 | Prompts List

Comments/kudos/reblogs will make me love you!

It had not been overly difficult to hijack the cargo ship. The Shimadas were not the arms traffickers they once were, and there had just been a shoestring crew that Widowmaker easily dispensed with. And that same scant roster meant that the AI pilot was already running, and Sombra simply needed to change the coordinates and the Southern Europe Talon HQ was fully supplied with all the guns, ammunition, and biochemical weapons they needed.

Until, of course, they opened the cargo compartment.

“Are they decoys?” Akande asked, staring at the boxes of candy that filled up the space.

Widow, who was sitting on top of one of the stacks, looked up from her box of Nerds and shook her head. “It was a two hour trip. I checked all of them. Unless they’re hiding shells in Skittles packages, there’s nothing.”

“I don’t understand,” Akande whispered. Sombra walked past him and caught the Snickers that Widow tossed her way.

“Manifest said that they were going to unload in Texas. The war with Deadlock has cut off a lot of trade to the Southwest. My guess is the Shimadas were looking to make money smuggling candy in time for Halloween.”

“It could work,” Widow said. “We might be able to turn this around if we deliver this to whoever the Shimadas’ contact was.”

“We don’t need money, we need weapons.”

“Money can be used to buy weapons.”

“Thank you for that economics lesson, Sombra, but the Shimadas could still ambush us at the drop, and we have no intel on the contact–“ Akande heard the sounds of boots on the staircase behind him and drew a hand over his face. Reaper ducked through the doorway and stared at the scene– Sombra flicking through a map of shipping routes with one hand and rooting through a box of flavored Kit Kats with the other; Widow tipping a small cardboard box upside down into her mouth, a candy necklace around her neck.

“This is not shotguns,” he said. Akande sighed.

“We had bad intel on the contents of the ship.” Reaper said nothing, but Akande could still feel the waves of judgment coming off him, and he grit his teeth. “Alright. This was a low-cost mission. We’re going to chalk this up as a drill, dump the cargo, and start looking for a proper target.”

“Wait wait wait.” Sombra snapped the map shut and stared at him wide-eyed. “Why do we have to dump it? It’s perfectly good candy.”

Akande gestured around the fairly spacious room. “It’s a ridiculous amount, Sombra. I am not exposing Talon agents to transport M&Ms.”

“Okay first of all, they have Sour Patch Kids in here. Second of all, you’re buff–“

“No,” Reaper said flatly. Sombra made an inarticulate noise of frustration and Akande turned to him, raising an eyebrow.

“Usually you humor her more than this.” Reaper ignored Sombra’s second squawk, this one more indignant, and turned to him as well, lowering his voice.

“You do not want to let them do this.”

“What if we just took whatever we could carry?” Widow said from her perch. She shrugged when Akande looked up at her. “They have Kinder eggs here.”

“Ogundimu. Listen to me. This is a very bad idea.” Akande bit his lip, looked between his most valuable and sensible agent, and his vaguely untrustworthy and frequently passive aggressive fellow executive, and made up his mind.

“You can each take one box,” he announced. Sombra whooped, Widow smiled, and Reaper growled under his breath. “And if there are any Twix, let me know.”

-

“I told you this was a bad idea,” Reaper said the next day.

Akande leaned against the balcony railing and watched in dismay as Sombra yet again grappling hooked herself into a cafeteria wall. She broke her fall by translocating down to Widow who was, in a deeply uncharacteristic display, attempting to backflip across all the tables.

“We’re sure nothing was spiked? This is really just a sugar high?” Next to him, Reaper sighed.

“Every year at Overwatch,” he said. His tone of voice suggested that if he had normal eyeballs, he would be performing a thousand yard stare. “Every year, Lieutenant Wilhelm would give the Amari girl half a candy store for Halloween. Every year, the entire base would grind to a halt as we tried to contain the whirlwind of chaos he had unleashed.”

“Still. They’re grown women,” he said. Widow was now attempting to showcase her accuracy by throwing Swedish Fish into Sombra’s mouth. “You’d think they’d be able to self-regulate.” Absentmindedly, he fished a Twix bar out of his pocket and began to unwrap it.

Reaper looked sideways at him. “How many of those have you had?”

“Look, just make sure they don’t break anything,” Akande said. “And remind them that the acquisitions meeting is in two days.” Reaper shook his head as Akande pivoted and power walked back to his office.

-

Two days later, Akande walked into the conference room to see Reaper sitting with his hands folded, and Widow and Sombra sitting with their heads flopped down on the table. Akande rubbed at his temple, tried to ignore his buzzing headache, and cleared his throat.

“Right. Sombra. Have you had any luck identifying potential targets?” Without looking, Sombra raised her palm, projected a web browser, and typed “free guns” into Google. Akande sighed as he sat down.

“I expected better from you,” he said to Widow. She groaned apathetically in response.

“Really,” Reaper said, and Akande tried not to wince at the sound of his voice. “Did you finish your entire boxes?” Sombra and Widow both made grumbling noises. “I cannot believe you two. That should have lasted a month. You could have at least spread it out enough so that you would be awake for this meeting.”

“Hey, wait, yeah,” Sombra said. “Akande. Why don’t you give us some of your candy. Hair of the dog that bit you. That’ll work.”

“No,” Akande said. His brain felt very heavy.

“Come on. Don’t you want us to be productive?”

“I can’t,” he said slowly.

“Why not?”

Akande considered responding verbally but opted for dropping forward onto the table, onto his folded arms. Widow reached over and tapped at his shoulder. He laid his head on its side to face her. She shook her head as best she could without lifting it.

“I know,” he said quietly. “I know.” Reaper cleared his throat.

“Okay, if I’m the only one functional at this meeting…”

“Hang on. That’s true,” Sombra said. “Why didn’t you take any, Gabe? When I was going through old Overwatch stuff, I saw you send eight all staff emails in one day about someone stealing from your candy corn stash. Isn’t this your whole thing?”

The three of them turned to look at him. Reaper folded his arms. Sombra widened her eyes.

“Ooooh. Wait, can you not eat food any more? Like, I know you get your sustenance from death and decay and My Chemical Romance albums or whatever, but I thought you were still capable of it…”

“I am not,” Reaper said in a clipped voice. Widow raised her hand and he sighed. “Yes?”

“Does this mean you don’t poop?” Reaper pushed away from the table and stood up.

“Okay, this meeting is over.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Sombra grabbed at Reaper’s robe and he stopped. “I’m sorry, Gabe. We should have been more sensitive to your Halloween needs.”

“I’m leaving,” Reaper said, without moving.

“We’re not doing actual work now, right?” Akande shook his head. “So we can do whatever spooky stuff you want.”

“As long as it doesn’t involve moving or thinking,” Widow said. Sombra nodded in agreement.

“Other than that, it’s your day, boo.” He looked over at Akande, who shrugged.

“I mean, we aren’t going to be working…” Reaper hesitated, then sat back down.

“Sombra, can you torrent Hocus Pocus?”

[youremyonlyhope]

The Force Awakens

Almost 4 years ago, I started my Star Wars rewatch by watching the original series in preparation to watch the Force Awakens. Then I rewatched the prequels before The Last Jedi. And now I’m seeing Rise of Skywalker on Sunday, so it’s time to rewatch the 2 other sequels.

I’ve rewatched the Force Awakens a couple of times since I first saw it, so it should still be fresh in my mind. As for the Last Jedi, I have not been able to bring myself to watch that one because of the ending. Not because I hated it, I loved it, but because it hurts.

Also, this gives me a distraction so I don’t get spoiled for Rise of Skywalker. Again. Can’t believe I’ve been spoiled twice already in just 2 days... luckily it was the same spoiler twice. One that was vague and I hoped it wasn’t right, but then the other one was a gif of the scene so now I know it’s true. Ugh...

This is super long and I apologize in advance.

“A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...” I didn’t see the Force Awakens in theaters. I saw it at home nearly a year later (after getting spoiled for all major plot points during that year). So I can’t IMAGINE the pure joy that people felt when they got to see the opening title crawl for the first time in 10 years. I wish I had seen it in theaters. Ok. I don’t like that I can’t pause Disney+ with the spacebar like other streaming sites let me... or maybe it’s just my computer. ANYWAY. I forgot that the opening crawl literally says “Skywalker, the last Jedi” in it, accidentally telling us the title of the next movie. Yeah so I can already tell I’ll be pausing every like 2 seconds. But I love this opening shot of a ship blocking out a MOON. Oh and NOW the spacebar works to pause. One of those stormtroopers is Finn. Awww. BB8! I didn’t realize he’s (they’re?) the first character we see (that we know is an important character since at this point we don’t really know which stormtrooper is Finn). Poe! Giving a message to a droid... so I know we like to think of Poe as the Han of the sequel trio... but honestly he’s the Leia. Yeah I mean... a friend (or at least co-worker) smearing their blood on your face with their hand as they die is definitely traumatizing enough to make you rethink your life. Finn, I don’t blame you. I started this scene like “Oh we’re gonna get the Knights of Ren and Kylo freezing the blaster ray using the Force” then I got so into the scene that I forgot Kylo was going to show up at all.

It’s not a Star Wars rewatch if my grandma doesn’t call and interrupt at least once. This time it was right as Kylo came out of the ship.

Kylo’s powerful. I’ll give him that. Holding that blaster ray for as long as he's about to. I love Poe looking back at it. Poe’s first lines to Kylo are joking about who gets to talk first, when Kylo’s literally still holding a blaster ray in midair and knows Poe has the map he wants. And people say “General Hugs” during a battle was out of character. GENERAL PHASMA! GWENDOLINE MY QUEEN! Poor baby Finn. [BB8 moans softly] BB8 NO DON’T CRY. Oh poor Finn. But yay first time we see his face! It just hit me that now I’m the same age/older than John and Daisy when they filmed this... great.... AND REY! I remember when we first saw footage of her climbing around, I said to my dad “I think that’s supposed to be Han and Leia’s daughter.” So far I’m wrong. I’ve been holding out hope for years that maybe just maybe there will be a twist and I’m right. I’m fine with her parents being nobodies, but I kind of want to be right. I’m probably not. The scale of that ship behind her... The shot of her speeding across the desert has such... original trilogy vibes. It never registered to me that Rey has some wilting flowers. That brings new meaning to the “so much green” scene later... Awwww the practical effect bread... Ok. I’m being nit picky, but they drained it just a split second too early. If it’d drained just a millisecond later, it would have been perfectly timed with the inflation of the bread. But that’s just me nitpicking for no reason. It’s an impressive effect. “Classified? Me too. Big secret.” LOL even at the time I knew the fandom was making a big fuss about that line for nothing. Too on the nose for it to truly be a big secret she’s keeping from the world. I figured she meant it was a big secret to her. Of course... then people got mad that they wasted their time analyzing that... it’s their own fault really. I forgot that they actually eventually get the location of the map out of Poe. Oh and hi General Hugs! “This is a rescue. I’m helping you escape.” Yep Poe is Leia. She was initially being rescued, but then ends up having to help rescue her rescuer(s) while they’re trying to rescue her. “Because it’s the right thing to do.” If Finn was raised as a stormtrooper, even just to work in sanitation, he wouldn’t necessarily have a moral compass since he wouldn’t know what’s right... at this point I think he just knows he doesn’t like killing... Like how Zuko didn’t realize he wasn’t good because he was taught something else was good. (YES. Finn is closer to Zuko) “You need a pilot” “I need a pilot” Ok see so it’s not necessarily what’s right, but he knows this is how he can get out. Sorta selfish, but not really. Oooooh yeah! It’s Thomas Brodie-Sangster! Forgot he was in this. Wilhelm Scream! Poe naming Finn. Aww. Ok see. How does Kylo know Finn’s identification? Did he ask Phasma “who was the one with the blood on his helmet?” right after they got back on the ship? Because otherwise, he’d have no way to tell them apart in that moment, I don’t think they have their names on their armor unless I never noticed, and even then Kylo would be too far away to read it. There’s a picture of little baby Finn... he was so young when the First Order took him (I assume they took him, I’d hate it if his parents sent him there) OH WOW. ANOTHER WOMAN! Oh and it’s whats-her-face, she was in Deathly Hallows Part 1. (IMDB says Kate Fleetwood) See, back in the day the Empire had no women in their ranks. This is the only thing the First Order is doing right, equal opportunity to be a space Nazi. I forgot that the wreckage gets sucked into the sand... that sucks. Here’s where Poe would have died if Oscar hadn’t been so charismatic. Also, do we ever find out how he survived this? I forgot about the explosion afterwards that just adds insult to injury. Was that necessary? Was that supposed to be funny? If it was, why are people criticizing the Last Jedi’s humor if this moment tries to make us laugh at a character dying... I hope that wasn’t meant to be funny... My poor baby... stranded on a strange desert planet... alone... with the First Order looking for him... I love this giant hippo thing. I want one.

Whiny fanboys: Rey’s a Mary Sue! She can’t know how to fight already! Rey: *Been fighting creeps at the market since she was born*

And I love how she caught Finn. Oh nooo BB8 no don’t cry! Finn, babe, why would you just tell Rey about the map!? Babe! I get that you want to seem reliable and credible, but baby! No! The way Rey was sort of horrified by Finn holding her hand... makes me really wonder what she’s been through. “Stop taking my hand!” Aww and how she offers her hand to him. “The garbage will do” Oh how I wish I hadn’t been spoiled that that was the Millennium Falcon reveal. But that line did create a meme so that’s fun. Wow the Millennium Falcon has been through a LOT. That dramatic zoom in as they fly into the ship (I’m sorry, I do not have ship names memorized) was very Torchwood. The sudden, almost shaky and unnecessary zoom. That upside down shot though. Amazing. And also terrifying. “You’re ok. He’s with the Resistance” *BB8 gives Finn a pointed look* I am DEAD. Oh and the Powerpoint style transitions between scenes. Very necessary. Vital to every Star Wars movie. Kylo. You’re like 30. You should not still have temper tantrums. Grow up. Awww BB8. The internal battle. Followed by the thumbs up. Adorable. Literally for a second I was like “How could the First Order override the controls of the Millennium - HAN!!!!” HAN AND CHEWIE!!!!! I will never forget watching the Force Awakens trailer for the first time with my dad, and nearly sobbing over “Chewie... we’re home.” Also what the hell, Chewie has been through SO MUCH and he’s STILL around! He was protecting Yoda in Revenge of the Sith! And then ends up enslaved and being fed people before Han meets him in Solo!?!?!? What?!?!?!? AND had a whole family before all of that!?!??!?!?!?

Also, watching Solo and realizing that Chewie’s been forced to eat people literally shattered my heart into a billion pieces. I wanted to cry seeing him covered in that mud and trying to kill Han.

Aww, Han and Chewie know the hiding places. I’m not even a third of the way through and I’ve written way too much.

Finn: Han Solo, the Rebellion general? Rey: No, the smuggler! Finn: Wasn’t he a war hero? Chewie: *Grunts and shrugs ‘I don’t know’*

That says so much about all of their characters. Oh god the 12 parsecs thing. I was legitimately MAD when I was watching Solo and realized that they had actually figured out a way to make the 12 parsecs thing make sense. That they actually solved and fixed George Lucas’ mistake, when he was literally just trying to find a cool word and didn’t care about the actual meaning. I am still so angry they managed to fix it in a way that made sense. I started raging once I realized that they were doing it. Awww Han in the cockpit. Ok Finn there you go again, telling everyone about the map to Luke. You’re lucky that Han’s one of the few people it’s good to tell. It could have gone so wrong with Rey. That subtle Binary Sunset piercing my heart. Hey it’s that kid from that Eaters of Light episode of Doctor Who. And when I watched that episode I was like hey it’s that kid from the Force Awakens. He looks familiar to me, but those are the only two things I’ve seen him in. “I got a bad feeling about this” He said the thing! Yeah the Rathtars are gross. Aww and he grabbed her hand again to run. I just noticed that they made the camera lens blurry on the edge, like some of the goo got on it. “That was lucky.” Rey’s so modest. I forgot that they hyperspeeded through the Rathtar... also did that happen in the original series too or am I just remembering it wrong? Anyway, Admiral Holdo did it best. 2nd mention of the last Jedi. Also, LOL remember when everyone was theorizing who Snoke was? My favorite theory was that he was Mace Windu. That was a WILD conspiracy theory. “In the hands of your father... Han Solo.” Oh the dramatic reveal. Awww BB8 running away from Chewie’s roar. Awwww the hologram game! And it’s still stop motion! “It’s true. The Force. The Jedi. All of it.” I forget what video I was watching, but they pointed out that this was Han’s arc. Learning to believe in the Force. I guess in that way, he has a satisfying ending. “I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy” I remember people saying that Han’s face is basically him thinking ‘...oh no... looks like I gotta adopt this kid.’

...It’s hitting me that we’re going to see Leia in this movie... and I’m gonna be emotional...

...AM I JUST NOW REALIZING THAT CHEWIE’S STRAP OVER HIS CHEST IS A STRAP TO A BAG? I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST TO HOLD AMMO OR SOMETHING?!?!? I’ve been a Star Wars fan for HOW many years and I’m just noticing this?!!? Also, in an alternate universe, Han survives and Rey goes off with him and Chewie and they have smuggling adventures and everyone’s happy and alive. Catina music by Lin Manuel! Yay! WOLFMAN! THEY PUT THE WOLFMAN IN THIS! WOW. Look at them shading George Lucas’s rerelease edits. ...Ok so Maz is definitely Force sensitive if she knew Han was there right away, right? Also, Maz is an example of how before Rose Tico and whoever Naomi plays in RoS (I will not google her character name because I know I will get spoiled), we very rarely see AND hear women of color, we get just one or the other. They’re either in the background with no lines or playing a character that isn’t a human if they have lines. The only exception coming to mind is the Queen of Naboo who took over after Padme, Jamillia. Ok I forgot that the lady who rats them out to the First Order actually gets a line and isn’t painted green, so good for her! I love her costume too. Too bad she’s evil.

See. We hear the breathing of Vader, because Ani is so done with his idiot grandson worshipping him that he’s sighing in defeat in the afterlife. Ani needs to Force Ghost himself over to Kylo and be like “DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN I THREW A SITH LORD DOWN A HOLE THAT IT MEANT I WAS TURNING AGAINST THE DARK SIDE? DID THAT GO OVER YOUR HEAD? DID MY ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC GO OVER YOUR HEAD??” Please, what I want most from the Rise of Skywalker (besides making sure Leia gets the proper send off she deserves) is Hayden coming back as a Force Ghost and knocking some sense into Kylo.

Oh Finn. The captions tell us who was talking during the vision... and there WAS a lot of Obi-Wan dialogue... Also poor Rey. She probably definitely remembers her parents, but just blocked it out. Now. If after the endless lines of soldiers, the podium with a giant red and black flag behind it, and the arms rising up still make the space Nazi thing go over your head... then we just can’t help you anymore. HEY! WAS THAT WHATSHERFACE?!? Ghost from Ant-Man and the Wasp? Was that her? Yes! IMDB says it was Hannah John-Kamen! Look at you girl! Too bad you’re evil too. Ok. I will admit that I blanked out for General Hugs’ speech because who wants to listen to a space Nazi. But, has the Star Destroyer been mentioned before this point in the movie? Because I literally can’t remember. If Hugs said it then I probably let my mind wander. Oh and I do appreciate these two dudes who were like “Yeah sure Finn, come with us, work for a bit, and we’ll help you get far away” and were going to let Finn come along with them. They seem nice. Also. Here’s the girl who’s not Freema Ageman. Not every black girl is Martha Jones. The entire internet was like “Martha was in Star Wars!” then I watched the movie and I was like “...that literally was not Freema what are you all on about?” IMDB says she’s Maisie Richardson-Sellers, she’s also in Legends of Tomorrow, which is something I do hope to watch one day. So good for her. The ion engines sounded like the TARDIS for a split second and I was VERY confused. “How did you get that?” “A good question for another time.” Ok JJ you gotta stop with all these unanswered questions that you pose. I get that that’s your thing. And that you have some term for it. But there’s too many now. This one better get answered in Rise of Skywalker. That behind the back shot though. I’m convinced Han’s Force sensitive too. Not even convinced, I think it’s canon. LOL remember when everyone named that stormtrooper who recognized Finn TR-8R.

Finn: *Manages to function using a lightsaber even though he’s only trained with blasters* Fanboys: *Silence* Rey: *Fights with a lightsaber well since she’s fought with sticks her whole life and it’s a similar concept* Fanboys: MARY SUE! SHE CAN’T BE THAT GOOD THAT FAST!

Oh my god it’s the Resistance FINALLY. POE!!!! Yes, I did just scream “Poe!!” out loud. Now, I’m not sure where these forest scenes were filmed, but if you told me the same forest where half of Merlin’s forest scenes were filmed then I would not be shocked. Merlin had some scenes in a similarly narrow trench/valley/pathway/thing. No but seriously, yes the plants look like they’re more tropical than whatever forest Merlin filmed in in the UK, but the trench looks so similar. Oh god the second we saw Leia I froze. And then Leia’s Theme played and I had a sad smile. And then C-3PO popped up and I laughed. Awwww. I love C-3PO so much. There’s so much that body language can convey. Oh no. While watching Finn and Poe reunite, I suddenly remembered that fanedit that put Helpless from Hamilton as the background of the scene. And i laughed. Oh 2015. When all we cared about was Star Wars and Hamilton. That lip bite. Oscar stop it. Billie Lourd! So I’ve realized over the years that R2D2 kind of sucks. Not that I don’t love him. But he spends the entire original trilogy lying by omission, when he could have just told them everything he knew from the prequels (since he WITNESSED everything and didn’t have his memory erased like 3PO did). And now, he just sits back while everyone scrambles to find Luke and does nothing, WHEN HE HAS THE ANSWER. Yes. I get that it’s deeper than that. But still. It’s funny to think that R2 just wants to sit back and watch the drama unfold while not telling anyone that Vader is Luke’s dad or that he has Luke’s map. (Unless I’m remembering it incorrectly and R2 doesn’t have it. If that’s the case R2 gets a pass this one time.) [It wasn’t the case, R2 doesn’t get a pass] “It is very doubtful that R2 would have the rest of the map in his backup data.” C-3PO are you sure? Because I’m not. I think low-power mode means R2 wants to relax and watch the soap opera that is Star Wars unfold. “There’s still light in him, I know it.” For your sake Leia, I hope there is too. But Kylo is going to need a hell of a redemption arc in tRoS. See, and I can’t remember when I found this out, but the ashes that he puts his helmet in are the ashes of people he’s killed. Kylo Ren SAVES the ashes. He has a TUB of them in his office. What is WRONG with him!??! Yeah so him reading her mind about the ocean was just plain creepy. I just... don’t understand Reylo shippers. “You. You’re afraid... that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader.” And he’s right to be afraid! Ani eventually had the strength to turn himself around! Kylo Ren could never! I won’t believe it till I see it! And even then I might not believe it! I think that people forget that Kylo’s supposed to be like 30 years old. I will say that Adam plays the role in this first movie like Kylo’s very young with a hint of a tiny possibility that he feels like he’s in over his head. Really he only plays it that way when the helmet’s off. So I get that he seems younger, but Adam was like 30 when he filmed this too. So why do so many fans coddle Kylo when he’s a grown man? A grown man who’s killing people. After a certain point, you can’t blame Luke or his parents or Snoke... if the guy is literally worshipping his grandfather and ignoring the fact that even Ani turned back to the light side... then the guy has issues. Rey failed twice before getting the Jedi mind trick right. Also, I love that Daisy’s face kind of sorta softened with less fear before she said the command and got it right. I’ve seen the scene of the stormtroopers literally going “Nope” and turning away from Kylo’s tantrum many times over the years, but I didn’t realize that Kylo screams “GUARDS” as he does it until I saw the caption just now. So not only are the stormtroopers like “I don’t want to get into that” they’re like “Let’s act like we didn’t hear him scream for us and let someone else get into that.” Which is even more hilarious. Ok it’s Starkiller not Star Destroyer. Whatever. I was close. But I knew that Luke’s last name was originally Starkiller, so I honestly should have guessed Starkiller in the first place. Whatever. Hey Admiral Akbar! The guy talking about the thermal oscillator looks familiar... was he in Night Shift... IMDB says he’s Ken Leung and yes he was in the Night Shift! Good for him! Awww that was the last time Han and Leia ever saw each other... “That’s not how the Force works.” The captions are telling me that the stormtroopers Rey is hiding from are just talking about how much their new weapons suck. That’s hilarious. “Is there a garbage shoot? Trash compactor?” Oh Han, I see what you did there. Wow, I didn’t notice that the walls of the base are rock, that it’s literally built INTO the planet. Awwwww Finn gave Rey his jacket! I was thinking she must be cold in just a t-shirt after living in a desert. Because I rewatched the last half of RotJ after Force Awakens, I was able to realize that this scene of Han and Chewie planting the bombs was a reference to RotJ, but only because of watching Force Awakens earlier that day. Really, I should have gotten the reference the other way around. “We’ll meet back here.” NOOOOO BUT YOU WON’T. THIS IS THE LAST TIME! Wait, did we not know his name was Ben before this? Was that the moment we all realized he was named after Obi-Wan? (Also, never really got that since Han and Leia knew Obi-Wan for only a couple of days at most... but whatever) Chewie keep going! Keep going and planting bombs while they’re distracted by Han! Come on! Ok I wanted to mention it earlier, but there was a lightbeam hitting Kylo when Snoke’s hologram disappeared, and that was after Snoke told him to be careful of going back to the light. Now as Han walks towards Kylo, there’s another lightbeam. It’s all very literal, but still. I like it. UH OH. I forgot about the light from the sun going away. Now Kylo’s literally in the darkness. We’re getting super literal now. (Also, I now realize that Poe’s line of “As long as we have the light we have a chance” was also a on-the-nose reference to light vs. dark and not just exposition about stopping the Starkiller, though it was also exposition.) I like to think that Han sorta knew that Kylo would kill him, and that he hoped it would eventually lead him to the light in some way and be worth it. But wow seeing Han fall hurts. OH AND LEIA. I FORGOT ABOUT LEIA KNOWING IMMEDIATELY AND JUST SINKING DOWN. OH I HURT. See. Finn’s literally just using a lightsaber like any other sword. Just hit your target with it. Because anyone can do that. Yes Rey! Summon that lightsaber! Earn that Binary Sunset! Trench run. Because Star Wars. Ok I gotta replay all of that because I was too busy getting lost in my mind about something and got distracted. Why is the Starkiller base falling apart? Ok got it, Poe hit a bunch of stuff that exploded. Cool.

Ok see. Some of the fans think fighting with a lightsaber is like a integral part of being one with the Force and being a Jedi. But literally, you just need to know is how to fight with a sword or a stick and you can fight with a lightsaber. The Force just means you’re better at predicting your opponent’s next moves, sensing the danger, knowing the best move to make, etc. That’s why Rey started winning against Kylo when he said “Join me and let me teach you the ways of the Force.” Before that, she’s just fighting like she would with her stick and all that’s doing is helping her survive and keep Kylo at bay, but she’s not winning. Being reminded that she’s Force sensitive let her tap into that and start incorporating that into the fight. Now she’s using the skills she already has, and using the Force to help her predict Kylo’s moves. She’s not magically good at using a lightsaber, she just already had skills that were easily transferable to a lightsaber and using the Force to enhance it.

I don’t think we’ve lost any arms yet in this movie, besides C-3PO off-screen.

OH. AND SNOKE SAYS KYLO NEEDS TO COMPLETE HIS TRAINING! He’s not even a full Sith Lord yet! He’s still being trained! So no, Rey did not just defeat a powerful Sith Lord, she defeated a Sith Lord in training. And she barely defeated him, he was already injured, she just fought hard enough to bring him to the ground. Then the ground literally separated them. Basically, I’m tired of people being mad that Rey has skills, she already had them. Plus, she’s not magically the most powerful Jedi ever like Ani was, she’s just strong. So go critique Ani for being literal space Jesus.

Oh Chewie. He’s alone saving Finn and Rey. My heart is breaking. All teams, Poe? You mean you and the other two who are left? Ok fine, there are a couple more X-Wings behind the Millennium Falcon. You and the other 6 who are left. Playing the Love Theme one last time. I am hurting. OH. NOW YOU WAKE UP, R2D2? NOW YOU WAKE UP? AFTER HAN DIES, YOU WAKE UP? Aww BB8′s like “Dad! Give me the map! I wanna put the puzzle together!” So I was right to be mad at R2D2. Literally sitting back, watching the drama, then at the end is like “Oh by the way, I have all the rest of the information you needed.” (Yes, I realize that I guess we’re supposed to infer that he spent all those years in low power mode trying to find the map, but whatever.) “May the Force be with you.” Oh Leia. Oh Carrie. Oh R2D2 NOW you’re excited. If you wanted to see Luke so bad, you should have found the map faster. You just know Luke knew they were coming, so he was like “Let me get my cloak out and stand on the highest point all mysteriously.” since he too lives for the drama (as we saw from all the flips in RotJ). Oh I love that ending so much. Some people think Last Jedi ruins the suspense of the ending. I love it. I love that Luke takes a minute to just stare at Rey and the lightsaber before deciding to chuck it over a cliff.

I’m watching the credits, and I noticed that Harrison gets first billing. I literally just said out loud “Why does Harri- ok no fine actually” since I realized this was his last Star Wars movie, so give him first billing. He deserves it.

So that’s the Force Awakens. Very enjoyable. I forget where I heard/read this, but the Force Awakens and Rogue One are like Star Wars comfort food. Super full of nostalgia.

And I do agree at least to an extent. Especially since the Force Awakens is like A New Hope all over again. A droid with a special message. Evil character with a spherical base that destroys planets. The evil Empire’s gone, but the evil First Order has taken over. And the Rebels are now the Resistance and are not that much better off than they were before.

But I LIVE for the nostalgia. Throughout the entirety of the prequels, I said that the best moments were the callbacks/references to the original series. The sequels do that better, so I really enjoy them.

Also I don’t actually hate R2D2. But the theory/idea that R2 is secretly a horrible person because of the fact he seems to know everything but never actually tell anyone what he knows is hilarious to me. And I never realized how well the Force Awakens fits into that theory. So it’s super funny to me.

Now hopefully, I can watch all of The Last Jedi tomorrow. I have a bit of a day... and this rewatch took like 4 hours since I literally paused every 2 seconds to write something. For the Last Jedi, I need to try to write less so I can pause less and finish the movie.