#((WE'RE BACK MOTHERFUCKERS. i love this guy and i got bored so here they are))

[splitsquip]

You said you were reactivated. Why? For what reason?

Hm? I was... activated to help my user, isn't, isn't that how it's supposed to work?

total shutdown

[thatguywasvaping]

🏎️💨 THE FORMULA 1 TAG GAME! 🏎️💨:

i don't know who else to tag honestly but thank youuu @wisteria-wisteria for tagging me 😉

1. Who or what got you into F1?

i've been wanting to tell this story to someone cuz i think it's so dumb

so well, my dad and my cousins are HUGE f1 fans they always talk about it on the family gc. it was the mexico 2023 gp (we're mexican btw and just like every single men in mexico they love checo) and we all know what happened to checo in that race so they were fuming and honestly i was enjoying it and all the memes on twt

anyway i never really cared about the sport, to me it was just men going vroom vroom in circles for an hour but then the brazil gp came

we were in my grandparents house, i was in the living room and they were watching the race obviously, it was just about to start and then something magical happened that changed my whole life... charles leclerc crashes on the formation lap and i thought omg who's this dumbass 🙄 but then i heard his voice with that sadness you only hear in eastern european gay porn saying "why the fuck am i so unlucky?", i was like damn he's so me, my dad was asking me to traduce what he was saying, i had no context of everything that happened on the season but i could just think damn is this not the first time that it has happened to him? poor bro

then i saw him get lost in the motherfucking woods and i was crying laughing at this point wondering who the hell is this guy?

i made a mental note to search his name on twt later, anyway the race went on and i was actually getting invested in it, i remember my cousins had to leave but they were all i want to see checo pass hamilton bla bla bla and i had no idea who hamilton was but i wanted to see it too it was so exciting. when i got back home i went into a charles leclerc rabbit hole in twt and tumblr and tiktok, then i learned more about all the other drivers and as someone who was lacking content of my man finn wolfhard i was getting bored and seeing this guys being a chaotic mess and getting content of them every weekend i was like fuck it they're my new blorbos especially charles❤️

and now here i am :) the end.

2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

i am a charles leclerc girlie and i will always be he's my sunshine i will fight anyone who dares to say something bad about him, i just love him so much he's so determinated and passionate i am so sure he will achieve his dream but he's also very kind, charming, funny. his history is also so amazing to me, his mental strenght is unbelievable and has motivated me to keep going no matter what, he's very dear to me, i admire him so much and i don't think it will ever change because he amazes me more and more everytime.

3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

charlieeee obvi but i've also been very obsessed with max lately they are fighting for p1 in my favorite drivers championship every single day hahahah

maxie poo i love you babygirl 😘

ok but now seriously MAX VERSTAPPEN YOU ARE A FUCKING LEGEND AND DESERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD he means a lot to me now too

i love lando and oscar also i hope they achieve amazing things with mclaren they have so much talent and potential i know they will be great

and ofc mi gente latino 🇲🇽✊ checo pérez you are my dad and i support you no matter what also he's so unintentionally funny as max said i'll just call him lovely 😌

4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

LESTAPPEN MY GOD when i tell you that i think about them every day i'm not joking at all

my roman empire as the tiktok kids would say

i just love them for the same reasons everyone else does they have been racing against each other for most of their lives and of course they've had their rough patches but they respect each other and love racing together, they push the limits and will do everything to win but they always keep that mutual respect and admiration

i got into them with the inchident video it's just hilarious max being all mad like no it's so unfair 🙄 and charlie being like just an inchident 😘 I CAN'T THEY'RE SO ICONIC LIVE LAUGH LOVE LESTAPPEN we love emotional support rivals

also shoutout carlando, maxiel, charlos, chestappen, landoscar they are so funny love seeing them do stupid shit but also have each others back

5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite team and/or favourite driver(s)?

my dad will die for red bull especially for checo, i don't really know my cousins favorite drivers but they like ferrari and one of them has a charles leclerc cap and a valtteri bottas one so i think them

i'm kind of a closeted f1 fan lmao because most of my life i've been like it's so boring just them going in circles but now i'm obsessed but also if i say i like it now they would be like you just like it because the drivers are good looking

and i mean YEAH but fuck just let me enjoy it and it's also my first season i'm still learning give me a break bruh

6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?

like i said this is my first season and i started pretty late but they first race i ever watched from start to finish was ✨las vegas 2023✨ and as a charles fan i will never forget that last lap where i was mourning p2 already and all like well let's hope for the best on the next race😔 when all of a sudden i see this mf overtaking checo, it was 1am and when i tell you i JUMPED from the couch and started screaming and jumping around, genuinely i will never forget it

7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.

i don't really know about each circuit that much but i like monaco

8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

naaahh they're expensive af maybeee one day i'll go to the gp in mexico city but in a very distant future

9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

i see checo's face in every corner in my city does that count?

10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?

i like the mercedes' cars just for the mere reason that they look cool to me and since i don't know all the technical stuff i think i could give you a pepper answer once i learn more

11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?

not really ✌️

12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.

when max said "i always thought that if i would make it to F1, charles will also make it"

what can i say i love my babygirls

[azumasoroshi]

part 1 and part 2 (this is part 3 bc i have no self restraint)

ok so after the celty talk earthworm starts talking about how izaya's been having celty talk to both heaven's slave and gather information on amphisbaena lately

and by the time we see him he's actually stopped responding to everything - earthworm even says "looks like your kid sisters are here" izaya doesnt move, nor does he react when she threatens to set him on fire, or even when heaven's slave storms the building

it's just interesting idk. maybe it's showing how things are starting to go how he's predicted, maybe he's just tired of the whole nervous act, maybe he got bored of all the water getting poured on him and fell asleep lmfaoskghkfd

and then we get THIS guy coming in a voice filter and automatically you're like wait maybe THAT's izaya?? it must be izaya right??

and the voice starts talking like hey. what do the leaders of heaven's slave (mr. kumoi) and amphisbaena (lizard) have in common. they both have moles under their eyes teehee! and now for the man under the bag -

AND THIS IS SUCH A GOOD PSYCHE OUT CUZ IT'S LIKE BROOOOOO IF YOU JUST TIED UP YOUR LEADER YOU'RE FUCKED SIX WAYS FROM SUNDAY

earthworm seems to think so too

and so does this guy (i have no clue what his name is sorry)

and finally when the HS guy says "i'm gonna cut the knot" does izaya react (there can't be a switchblade scene without izaya in it. he needs to have the spotlight)

and we hear his voice finally!! and it IS izaya (hiroshi kamiya i could sense you from a mile away)

and yeah what WERE you about to do man?? that was NOT the rope you were aiming for

and the tension here is inSANE like this is so theatrical and dramatic that im convinced izaya was kicking his legs in his bed like a schoolgirl thinking about how funny it was going to be

god he's so hot i mean what no

he rehearsed this in the bathroom mirror for sure he's such a fucking loser

and he's so casual about it too while the other two were having a breakdown :sob: he KNOWS what he was doing

he has no right to look so cute in this shot

and the voice filtered phone guy was this dude?? it's like aoba's older brother izumii right or something i dont remember lmAO

and after effectively scaring the ever-loving shit out of them he's like. didnt i do it for u :3

god he's hilarious i legitimately might watch through all of durarara again just to watch him fuck around and everyone else find out

oh here he fucking goes again he's so cringe

look at his fucking face. he's enjoying himself so much right now this is literally his playground

oh no way he got saika in on this what the hell

izaya: i'm not your enemy!! i'm just here to observe!!

also izaya: it's hammer time izumii

asking a literal love parasite to interrogate someone for you is like the most "do you have any sense of self preservation" thing ever except izaya actually has such a strong sense of self preservation that he's practically untouchable

case in point:

now see he wasn't surprised by this one at all even though he was still in the middle of talking lmfao

i mean haruna is just naturally offputting so i think anyone would always need to have their guard up around her

the clang of the knives is always so satisfying ugh ive watched this like five times

smug ass

tfw a crazy girl just tries to stab you in the eye and this is your response

and we're back with shiki at last!! im sure the information extracted from earthworm was really important or the amphisbaena-heaven's slave connection will be important in future episodes but like

this episode felt like a really self-contained "day in the life of orihara izaya" and i love it actually

izaya, saying this, having just manipulated like three different gangs into doing his bidding:

motherfucker stop being so attractive

i hate his cat smile bro

is this what shizuo feels like

bottom behavior /j

shiki looking at him like. um. what. okay??

his expressions here feel a lot more subdued and less smirky than usual though which would seem to indicate a bit of truth to that?? which is strange but i guess he likes being in cahoots with the mafia because it gives him constant contact with the darkest sides of humanity

this was a very izaya-centric episode i dont know if there's any more like this but i will absolutely watch the shit out of them if there are so please tell me of them

and of course we have to end off with shizaya because yes

holy shit look at the length of izaya's leg though what the hell thats some code geass ass legs

is there any ending where shizuo and izaya arent fighting actually?? i feel like there is but i desperately want there not to be lmfaosdgjsjghsdk

ty for reading my live react to durarara x2 ten episode 8 i guess??? i wasnt planning on doing this but izaya gave me no choice in the matter

[pwblogarchive]

January 2002

January 2, 2002

“cold ass motherfuckers” 

no heat in the van. nice. its so cold guys. the shows have been amazing. new years was so much fun. we are going to try to sneak into canada right now. see you soon.

love

pete

January 2, 2002

“canada dry” 

dude canada is great for hardcore. we had to sneak over the border because our contract was no good. somthing about the canadian government trying tolimit american cultures effects. welltheygot a healthy dose of arma angelus today. we had to sneak over. i am writing this one at a youth hostile right now. kids weresinging along and going offtonight in ottowa. i have heard that montreal is only going to be better. i am having the time of my life being sofar away from my problems at home. i just wanted to take the time to thank everyone for supporting us and allowing me to do this-anyway, we’re off to montreal with no heat. but feeling good anyway-

see everybody soon.

love pete

January 4, 2002

“hardcoreisaliveincanada”

first off i have toapologize for how this one looks. the spacebar does not work on this kids computer. so i am going to use “-” thisforaspace.-we-drove-into-montreal-last-night.-and-hung-in-the-city-all-day.-the-show-tonight-was-fucking-sick,.-kids-had-promised-us-it-would-be-a-good-show-and-we-were-not-let-down.-the-kids-here-are-so-great.-kids-went-nuts-when-we-played.-and-we-sold-1000-dollars-in-merch.-more-than-we’ve-ever-sold.-anyway-this-entry-looks-dumb-as-hell.-i-think-our-long-island-show-may-have-fallen-through.-so-we-may-end-up-in-boston-with-throwdown-orhere-again-on-the-hatebreed-show.

anyway-this-is-turning-out-to-be-our-best-tour-ever,-we-have-sold-out-a-bunch-of-our-merch.-we’ll-see-you-all-soon.

love

—-

pete

January 5, 2002

“my voice will be…” 

yes. we played montreal again tonight. it was even better. this time it was with hatebreed, poison the well and A death for every sin. it was hot. like 600-700 kids. kids knew the shit and went off. in between songs i took a picture of all these kids giving the metal sign- it was crazy- a couplehundred kids saying “cheese”- we’ll get it up on our site when we get a chance. i just left with a really good vibe. thanks to all of our friends old and new from canada that made this trip really great for us. we’re trying some of the new stuff live out on the road, so far it has been going over pretty well. on the way back into the U.S. we got stopped for me making up some bunk story of where we were on the spot. the guy then talked to us about goofy stuff and pretty much laughed at us, he was cool though. he knew about drums and stuff. anyway enough bad stories that make no sense. we’re playing philly tommorrow with Kill your idols and Punishment- then newyorkcity with Throwdown and bleeding through. best tour ever. we’re sleeping in syracuse tonight- it feels like a home away from home. its wierd we get crazier reactions on the road than we do in our own city. oh well. canada was a total sucess- and i got to eat all kinds of wierd candy bars and drinks that we don’t have in the U.S.- yes.

see you soon fuckers.

“nobody’s got style like us”

pete

January 5, 2002

“do you ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?” 

i’m so sorry. we got over the border late after hatebreed and didn’t realize that the show started at 2pm today. long story short we’re not going to make it. we will get there one of these days and i apoligize for this one.

oh yeah 1700+ from three days in canada- we'r e thousandaires.

pete

 January 15, 2002

“the oldest movie i ever saw.”

whats up? so we’ve been back for awhile. we’re writing for this slayer comp and the unbroken comp. tim is out of town so we can’t get a whole lot done. oh well. the new stuff we have been working on is totally boss though. you will like it. i’m back in school right now. boring. i think i am going to take next semester off and just do bands full time. hopefully by then between Arma and Fall Out Boy there will be no free time anyway. uh oh new realworld is on in like ten minutes. i bet it is going to be weak as hell. they need to get me up in that motherfucking show. other than band stuff my week has blown. i am slowly slipping out of someone’s life,not for any reason other than i am to busy with band stuff right now. it sucks. but i will just fail you right now anyway. letting people down is like the worst thing ever. “… and in the end i got honerable mention in the movie of my life starring you instead of me… the oldest movie i ever saw was the one made together…” i hav to say i love the guys in my band. i love the people i meet on tour. oh yeah. posi. feb. 2nd we’re playing the metro with rise against and Agnostic Front. be there. love, pete

January 30, 2002

“they only love you when you’re on top” 

haha. pretty hilarious how many people have been calling and emailing me about getting into the Metro show- “you know i always liked you guys”- fucking die. i hate everyone. so much bullshit. hardcore was cooler before the internet and before fuckign losers paraded around yelling “mosh you faggots”. i’m sorry. anyway i think we’re actually gonna get out to detroit and play a show in early march i forget with who. we’re also playing with bloodlet and deadtofall here in march and some other shows. other than that we’re just taking some time to regroup and should hit the road latespring/early summer. it snowed here. sledding. yes. snow always reminds me of tim burton movies. if i had to live forever somewhere it’d be inside one of those. i quit.

tim grenadexjumper: i’m going to LA when we get back blah blah

adam: i’m sick as fuck for real.

pete: don’t do it dude shes fat.

chris xbeastslayerx: but she had some dope ____ hahahaha

jim: you are what killed the core

todd: sleep.

charlie: okay so this is a tour story right?

you should know: the new TKT is good as are first kisses and letters written on napkins at four in the morning. fall out boy is recording- you will listen. tim spent a week in LA he probably has AIDS. Be at the Metro at 6:30 on sunday or i will kill you- if you’re our friend or been supporting us you will be on the list.

love pete

[vanosslirious]

BBS Dialogue Prompts #183

BBS Dialogue & Sentence Starter Prompts: [ 7 ]

VANOSSGAMING

I came back to save you.

I'm loading in, I'm not even in the map!

Did you really think that was him?

How do I use my weapon?

You stole that from me, you bitch.

How come you didn’t come back to life though?

How are you stuck?

How did you kill me?

Out of my fucking way.

Now we have a ball, so awesome.

I’m a magician.

I have no idea what the fuck is going on!

Nah, you made fun of me, so I’m not going to do anything with this opportunity.

We’re just following your lead.

I thought that one was pretty good.

This man got out of bed to see this.

I'm just trying to bond with my Irish friends here.

If you really think about it.

That is literally what I've been thinking this entire time I've been playing this game.

Alright, now we're halfway.

BASICALLYIDOWRK

You take damage so fast.

You’re in my world now.

I was alive this whole time?

We have to go back the other way, right?

Get out of here, bitch.

No, he hasn’t, give me sec, give me a sec, I got him.

How do you fly this shit?

Jesus Christ, this is a whole different game now.

Where are you guys at, I’m coming!

I’m in an elevator!

WILDCAT

It’s okay, I just want to vomit a little bit.

We’re somehow winning this game, and we’ve done nothing.

How do I fly it?

There’s a guy in front of you, crossing the street, yeah, that motherfucker right there.

I watched that motherfucker explode.

That’s a dog.

That had to be because of us, no way.

I didn’t know what we were doing at the end, but it was chaos.

We are certainly not in combat.

I’m fucking over this game.

NOGLA

I’m just going to crawl down to you, it’s just easier.

My hero, my hero!

Get in the bathroom, turn off the lights.

We were doing so well.

I don’t know, use it.

He’s on his last one.

Ya kinda ruined it.

This light is blinding.

You have to go on the other side now.

Boring, but...winning.

MOO

It's just standard, I think.

I'd bet they'd pay good money for that to be your coffin.

The funny thing is we still don't have food.

No, it was clearly mine.

I’m not getting footage, this is dumb!

Now, it’s working fine.

I’m not happy.

My game’s doing it again…

I’m trying to be a team player.

I’m so freaking good at this game.

TERRORISER

Don’t spoil the ending.

That’s fucking bullshit.

What the fuck did you just say?

I’m going to talk to the ghost.

Can you stop and just leave!

This is a long bridge.

What reference, he just wanted to fuck you in the bathroom.

We’re not your friends.

Shut the fuck up, sugar boy.

God, I can’t wait to see him in person.

H2ODELIRIOUS

I'm gonna go do more Cocaine.

That was two hours ago?

Am I in your will?

You’re a damn genius.

Listen, I didn’t cheat like you did.

What, we’re in love?

Is this something we have to cut out?

Listen, we did a lot, what do you mean, ‘that is the end?'

Can we dance?

I'm gonna start off with something easy.

[artificialqueens]

Bitch Fight, Ch.4 (Multi-Ship) - Lita

Welcome to the world of Femme Fatale Wrestling. The future is female, and we're here to prove it.

A/N: Thank you guys again for all the love - I'm stupid excited to post this one, the wider supporting cast is arguably one of my favourite things about writing this story, and I'm finally getting to introduce more of them. I've not got a ton more to say, so hope you all enjoy! <3<3

CHAPTER FOUR: WHAT

Adore trails behind Bianca into the locker room, her backpack slung over one shoulder. She’d been excited about this ever since Bianca had brought it up to her - her first real show, her first true steps into the business; the start of something new, the beginning of the rest of her life or what-the-fuck-ever. But contrary to her expectations, it feels kind of...boring?

There are maybe five or six other girls milling around in metallic spandex, mostly sitting on the benches staring at their phones; a couple stood in front of the mirror putting on makeup or fixing their hair. The room smells like hairspray and Icy Hot, and it’s overly-bright and depressingly empty. They’d come around the back entrance to the building, Bianca leading Adore through endless white, fluorescent-lit corridors that she really hoped she wasn’t going to have to navigate herself on her way to the ring, because she definitely hadn’t been paying enough attention to know where she was going a second time.

Bianca drops her bag down on the bench, starting to fish her gear out of it - Adore stands next to her, not sure what to do with herself. The woman sitting across from them looks up from her phone, walking over to them. She pulls Bianca into a hug.

“Thank god you’re here - Miss Fame got food poisoning, so she’s off the card. She was supposed to be working the main event with Courtney - who, by the way, isn’t even here yet, - Bill’s been tearing me a new asshole all night, and trying to get Jinkx to give a crap is like trying to get blood out of a stone- hold the phone, who is that?” She’s talking at an insane speed, even Bianca seems to be struggling to understand her, before she stops dead; staring Adore down.

“This is Adore. I found her in the parking lot a few weeks ago and I’ve been training her. I figured that we could give her a chance to work some shit in front of a real crowd tonight. She’s still green, but she can bump like a motherfucker and she’ll do basically anything you tell her to.” Adore gives an awkward smile, waving. “And before you ask, yes I okayed it with Bill.”

She breathes a heavy sigh, relaxing her shoulders. She’s a little shorter than Bianca, and curvier; short, dark hair, dressed in a black and lilac singlet. Bianca turns to Adore.

“Adore, this is Dela. I’d say she doesn’t always seem this crazy - she does, but you learn to live with it.” Bianca says. “I have shit to do that doesn’t involve babysitting people all night. You-” she turns to Adore. “-go talk to people, make some friends that aren’t me. And Dela, chill the fuck out.” She takes her stuff, walking off in the vague general direction of what Adore assumes is the bathroom to go and get changed.

“Y’know, you need to stop talking about people like they’re not standing right in front of you,” Dela shouts after her, before turning to Adore. “It’s nice to meet you, sweetie. Sorry about all that.”

“It’s cool,” Adore shrugs, easing up a little. “I like your hair. It’s cute.”

Dela blushes. “Thank you.” She sits down, patting the bench beside her. Adore takes a seat next to her. “Yeah, I promise it’s not usually this bad, tonight has been more of a wreck than usual. My wife owns the promotion - she used to wrestle too, but she had to retire last year, and let’s just say she hasn’t taken to it well. Every day is kinda substitute teacher day right now.”

“It’s okay - I don’t mind. I’m just excited to be here.” Adore has to stifle an excited laugh - it’s true. It didn’t matter how hard training had been - Bianca had worked her like a fucking drill sargeant for the first few days, until she realised that the one thing that Adore could do quite well was throwing herself at the floor. Those years on the deathmatch circuit had definitely paid off. She’d started learning some actual wrestling; mostly just locking up and basic holds and maneuvers - her back was still black and blue from learning to run the ropes - but she was making good progress, and they’d discovered mostly by accident that she was capable of a semi-passable moonsault. It felt good - seeing the pride in Bianca’s face whenever she did something right. All the sucky nights of sleep, and bodily aches, and early mornings, and exhaustion felt fucking worth it.

She had been like a kid on Christmas Eve the night before. Lying staring at the ceiling of Bianca’s guest room, as she had been for the last month or so - at Bea’s insistence; since Adore would be sticking around for the foreseeable future, it made more sense than having her sleep in her driveway. Bianca was, at her core, really sweet, even if she seemed to hate people knowing it - struggling to even contemplate going to sleep because she couldn’t shut her brain up. But that morning, the excitement had melted away into nerves, which had steadily mounted as the day dragged on.

“Bianca said she’d been training you, right?”

“Yeah - I’ve been like, sort of wrestling for a few years. But it was all backyard deathmatch shit, I didn’t really know how to do anything besides hit people with chairs and make them bleed,” she shrugs, laughing a little.

Dela grimaces. “I feel like I don’t need to ask what happened to your arm then?”

“Oh yeah,” Adore laughs. The scars from her last match are still red and raw-looking, freshly healed and still kind of gross. Which probably hadn’t been helped by her insistence on picking at them, much to Bianca’s general disgust, but she thought they looked cool. “A guy threw me through a sheet of glass, it was fucking dope. That’s how I met Bianca. I’ve been watching her since I was a kid - I ran into her in the parking lot here, and asked her to come to one of my matches. She did, and then she freaked the fuck out and drove me to the ER, but we’re friends now, so it’s cool.”

Dela looks a little uneasy, before perking up. “Well, I think you’re gonna like it here. The other girls are all really nice. Plus you’re in good hands with Bianca - I’ve known her for years, she’s a great worker.”

“She is really cool,” Adore smiles. “So are you,” she adds. Dela smiles.

“You’re sweet,” Dela says. “I need to go talk to Bill - you’ll have heard me talking about him, he’s our referee and - I hope - temporary booker, so I can try and work out where you’re gonna fit on the card. What’s your ring name again?”

“Uh, Adore Delano.”

“And where do you wanna be billed from?”

“Uh, I’m from Azusa.” Dela has the notes app open on her phone, and she jots this down, nodding.

“So, I think the best people to try and put you with will be either me or Bianca - you’ve obviously worked with her before, and second to her I’m the most experienced person here. Not that anyone else is bad, necessarily, but I feel like being in there with a veteran to keep you on the right track is a good idea. Does that sound okay with you?”

“Sure,” Adore says, nodding.

“So, you’ll probably be opposite either Dela Monsoon - that’s me - or Santerìa, which I think you know is Bianca, on the card.”

“Party,” Adore says. Dela gives a bemused laugh.

“Cool - I promise nobody bites, go talk to some of the other ladies,” Dela says, standing up. Adore smiles as she leaves the room.

This is fun. Stressful, but fun. Adore isn’t really sure what to do with herself, looking around in the room of new faces and feeling an unfamiliar ball of nerves sitting in the pit of her stomach. As much as she doesn’t miss what went on in the ring quite as much, she misses the atmosphere before the shows she used to work. It was more chilled-out than this - and there were more people like her. More people who seemed less straight-laced and focused. She didn’t have much in the way of a pre-show ritual, but throwing back a couple of beers in someone’s car before taping up her fists and heading to the ring had always been pretty par-for-course. Turning up to the venue and then sitting around doing nothing for hours felt insane to her.

She feels out-of-place and a little unsure of herself; everyone else seemed so polished. She looks over to the girl standing across from her in gold attire. She has one foot up on the bench as she laces up her boots; dark skin and white-blonde hair down to her hips.

“Hi,” Adore calls over to her; the other woman gives her a quick, tight-lipped smile, saying nothing as she turns back to tying her shoes. Adore breathes in, crossing her legs and readjusting herself a little uncomfortably.

“What the fuck are you doing? Go get changed,” Bianca, back from the bathroom, elbows her in the shoulder. She’s in her ring gear now - a crop top and tights, dark red with gold accents. Her hair is tied into a loose bun at the back of her neck, and she’s turned to rake around in her bag for her makeup.

“Bitch, I am changed,” Adore protests. She’s in the same denim shorts and bra combo that she’s always worn to the ring.

“Really?” Bianca looks her up and down. “I know for a goddamn fact that those shorts are still covered in your blood, because you have not done a single load of laundry in the last month.”

“It gives them character.” Adore shrugs.

“I’m more concerned that you don’t seem to ever change your underwear,” Bianca mutters, rolling her eyes. “What about your hair? Makeup? Anything?”

“Done and done,” Adore says, blasse. Bianca looks exasperated. She’s wearing her hair down, yesterday’s eyeliner having become today’s smoky eye, and little more effort put in besides throwing on some lipstick and fresh mascara. Adore has never bothered to put in any more work than this before a show, and she’s not sure why Bianca seems to expect that she should change that now. Bianca seems different to usual - tense and a little edgy.

Bianca rolls her eyes. “The show doesn’t start for another hour and a half, do you literally have nothing else to do besides staring at the wall with your thumb up your ass?”

“I wanna go smoke,” Bianca huffs a sigh; Adore looks up at her with plaintive puppy eyes.

“Fine - there’s a fire exit down the hall. Go out there, and don’t take forever.”

******

Adore steps outside, pulling her pack of cigarettes and lighter out of her bra. God, this place is big, and the hallways are confusing. There are two others out there already - a brunette, a few feet away from them with her finger in one ear, arguing into her cellphone in what sounds like Japanese, and a blonde standing with a joint between her fingers.

They’re both wearing matching bra and shorts combos, in chartreuse green, with kickpads and elbow-length fingerless gloves that both read ‘PRETTY DOPE’; carrying matching title belts. The brunette has hers around her waist, the blonde’s is slung backwards over her shoulder as she holds it by the end of the strap. Adore breathes in, approaching the blonde as she lights her smoke.

“Hey.”

“Who the fuck are you?” She curls her lip. She has hair to her shoulders with short, blunt bangs and sporadic streaks of green through it. She blows smoke out through her nose, straight into Adore’s face.

“Uh- I’m Adore, I’m-”

“Honey, no-one asked,” the blonde says bluntly.

“But you literally just-”

“Bitch, I don’t care. You’re killing my vibe here.” Adore shrinks into herself a little, taking a drag of her cigarette. The blonde pushes Adore out of the way to lean over to shout to the other girl: “Hey Gia! You want a hit?”

The brunette gives an exasperated groan, yelling into her phone again before abruptly ending the call, stuffing the phone into her bra and walking over to them. She takes the joint out of the blonde’s hand, placing it between her lips.

“Urgh, I wish my mom would hop off my fucking dick - who is that?” She points at Adore, who is now leaning against the wall, trying to make herself seem as small as possible. Her voice has gone up about three octaves compared to how she was speaking on the phone.

“Some bitch called Adore. Are you okay?” She looks at Gia.

“Yeah, just more stupid shit about wanting me to come back home. I mean, I know it’s been six years or whatever, but like, you know I can’t.” The blonde looks a little concerned, her face tentative. “What? Are you on her side now or something?”

“No! Just like…I dunno, she’s your mom. Maybe she just misses you and shit.”

“You need to hop off my dick too.” Gia curls her lip. She flicks ash at the ground, passing the joint back to the blonde, who takes another long draw.

Adore scuffs the toes of her shoes along the ground. The sun is still up; the air hot, sticky, and gross. She doesn’t do humidity. She can feel herself sweating, and is struck with a sudden, weird paranoia over body odour - did she pack deodorant? Someone in the locker room will have, she can ask them. Can she ask them? She isn’t sure - she doesn’t want to annoy Bianca, and everyone else keeps looking at her or, in the case of the two standing across from her, whispering into each other’s ears with their backs to her, talking to her like they think she’s insane. God, Adore can’t remember the last time she felt this self-conscious.

“Yo, Adore!” the blonde calls over to her. Adore jumps, dropping her cigarette on the ground. Gia laughs, loud and obnoxious, before her friend elbows her; Gia grabbing at her arm, scowling. The blonde holds her joint out to her. “Want some?”

Adore stutters a little. “Uh- no thanks, I’m good.”

“Loser,” Gia says. “We’re trying to be nice.”

“Sorry, I-”

The door that Adore is leaning against opens, hitting her in the back, and she trips over; only just stopping herself from falling on the ground.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” A familiar voice cries out - grabbing Adore’s arm to steady her.

Thank fuck - it was Dela on the other side. Gia and her friend start shuffling around, pushing each other as if trying to hide from the older woman, in plain sight. Dela lets out a heavy sigh.

“Ladies, I’m not stupid. I can smell it from down the hall.”

Gia holds up her empty hands. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Her voice is drawling and cunty as she takes a step towards Dela, like she’s trying to intimidate her.

“Laganja?” The blonde avoids eye contact with Dela. “You have a match later, I shouldn’t have to keep telling you this shit - we expect literally everyone else to be sober in the ring, you guys aren’t an exception.” Dela says. Laganja gives a heavy roll of her eyes, dropping the joint on the floor. It’s only been around a quarter smoked. “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see that.”

“You suck,” Laganja says as they both trail back towards the door, Gia muttering ‘fucking narc’ just loud enough to be audible as she deliberately rams her shoulder into Dela.

Dela bites her lip - clearly trying to compose herself as Adore lights another cigarette; the one she’d dropped had only been half-finished, and she’s still a little tetchy, feeling a bizarre need to occupy her hands.

“You want one?” She holds the cigarette pack out to Dela, who takes one; Adore lights it for her.

“Thanks,” Dela takes a drag, before breathing out a heavy sigh, relaxing a little. “Are you okay?”

Adore nods. “Pretty much - they were kinda dicks.”

Dela raises her eyebrows knowingly. “Pretty Dope are harmless,” she says, her tone flat and somewhat insincere. “Yeah, they’re dicks, but if you want my opinion, it’s on purpose because they think it makes them look cool. Do you know the meaning of the phrase ‘being a mark for oneself’?”

Adore shrugs. “Kinda?”

“They believe their own hype too much,” Dela explains. “Like, we all have our persona or gimmick or whatever, but they live theirs rather than working it. It’s a lot. That said, they’re both great performers. They’re our tag team champs - I think they probably will be for a while, we don’t have a ton of other tag teams.”

“Right,” Adore nods.

“Have you spoken to anyone else?”

“Uh...the black girl in the gold bikini? Well, I tried to, anyway. She didn’t speak to me back.” Dela smiles a little.

“Oh, that’s Trinity. She’s a sweetheart - she’s just insanely shy. It’s not you, I promise. She’s incredible in the ring, though - big wrestling family. You’re way too young to remember GLOW, right? Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling?”

Adore shakes her head.

“It was a wrestling show from the 80s, all women - it was kinda before my time too, but my dad had a few tapes of it when I was a kid, and I was obsessed with it. Anyway, Trin’s mom was on that for years, she was a pretty big deal - ‘The Welfare Queen’ Latrice Royale?”

“Holy shit - I think I met her at a convention when I was like, nine. My mom used to take me to stuff like that all the time.” Adore smiles.

“Like I said, I was raised on that show - she was always one of my favourites, I think I nearly died when I found out Trin was her daughter,” Dela laughs.

“Have you been wrestling for a while?”

“Ten years? Maybe fifteen. I started out as a manager - my wife and I had this really cute knock-off Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth thing going for a few years, then we started teaming together. It was awesome - we used to be called The Weather Girls, we walked out to the ring to It’s Raining Men. I miss working with her.” Dela gives a long sigh.

“Bianca talks about her a lot too. She sounds dope.”

Dela gives a weak smile. She looks distant - not saying anything for a while, staring at the ground between draws. Adore isn’t quite sure what to do with herself. Dela shakes herself off a little, putting her cigarette out against the wall and turning to Adore.

“Shit - I totally forgot, I came out here for a reason. Bianca said this is where I’d find you, I need to talk to you. We finalised the card - I promise everything isn’t usually this last-minute, but tonight has been a little crazy. Now, this is gonna sound insane, and it seems like a lot for your first night, but- y’know what, just come back inside.”

[ticklikeabomb]

Epimetheus : Spill the Mead (part 3)

Pairing : Avengers x Plus Size Reader ; Steve x Plus size Reader 

Warnings : Language, Sexy times mentioned

Word Count : 2.3

2 weeks after the stand-up show

You were currently training in the gym squatting your life out, your ass chicks fuller than air ballons, when you heard someone enter the room. You didn't pay attention and continued your workout by switching to the treadmill machine. You opted for a half-hour running session before your legs gave out completely. Lifting your head up, you noticed Sam who was running next to you, a small smirk on his face. Frowning you breathed out a small, "What's with the face?". He chuckled, shaking his head slightly and replied, "Oh nothing, just wondering some things." Perplexed you let out a small "Ok" and focused back on your steps. Two minutes later, he spoke up, "You know what's funny?". You rolled your eyes figuring out something was coming and turned to him sarcastically, "No but I feel like you gonna tell me." "You and Cap have been avoiding each other for the past month. He refuses to tell us why but something is odd. He keeps glancing at you but when your gaze crosses his, you both look elsewhere. Isn't that curious?", he said a triomphant smile on his face when he saw your posture tense. 

"I don't know. We're busy people, maybe it's your imagination", you try to distract him. "Orrrr, maybe something embarrassing happened between you two and you refuse to talk about it. I don't know, maybe some 'fonduing'", he mimicked Steve. You both heard a huge 'Boom' to where Steve was and turned his way. He was breathing heavily, wide eyed and a punching bag on his feet opened in half. Sam burst out laughing to which Steve exited the room with a face redder than Pennywise's hair. You stopped the running mode and walked slowly in order to not get nauseous. 

"That's a great theory but believe me nothing happened between me and Steve", you told him even though you knew he didn't believe you. "You keep telling that. We will find out the truth", he said before stepping out of the machine and making his way out of the room. You let out a deep breath, trying to calm down after what just happened. "Stressed much", said Natasha next to you. You jumped in place, scared of her sneak attack. "Goddammit, since when have you been here?", you commented with a hand on you heart. She grinned and informed you she's been in the gym before you stepped foot in it. "How do you do that? Ho-", "I was a Russian Spy, you know that right?" "Yeah but still, let a Sister know you're there." She laughed and put her arm around your shoulders. "Come on, let's get a shower and our comfiest clothes. Tonight it's Ladies Night." 

Natasha, Wanda and you were watching your 3rd Rom Com movie when Natasha proposed to get stronger drinks. "I'll go. I need to stretch my legs a little", you told them and walked out the room. You were grabbing several bottles when his voice startled you. "Y/N? Can we t-" "Fuck, you scared the hell out of me", you shouted out. "Sorry. Eh…let me help you", Steve said seeing one of the bottles broken on the ground. "Don't ! It's ok", you stopped him. He sighed heavily and put his hand on his waist. "We should talk." You were cleaning the glass and hissed when a piece slightly cut you. He grabbed your hands and guided you to the sink. You refused to look at him in the eyes, embarrassed by the incident. "Please Y/N let me explain." You felt rage overflowing in you and lifted your head up. "There's nothing to explain. Let's just forget about it", you said bitterly and grabbed the other bottles, leaving him behind. 

When you got back in the room the other two Avengers noticed your mood switch. You took the nearest bottle and chugged a large gulp from it. "Oh no dear you shouldn't have done that", Nat's voice echoed in the background. "Oh shit. Should I text Thor about the side effects? Is she going to die?", turned Wanda towards the redhead. "You do that", advised Nat while approaching you and taking the bottle from your hand. "Heyyy the fuck Nash, I was enjoying that", you hiccuped. She chuckled nervously. "Enough Alcohol for you", she mentioned and you pouted. You needed more. You needed to forget about those blue eyes, those huge arms that would wrap perfectly around your curvy body, that beautiful smile that would leave you speechless. You felt a wet spot tickling down your neck. "Come here", Wanda engulfed you crying in her arms. "Shh, it's ok. Why are you crying?" "I-Im nott cry-crying. Ma eyezz are sweat-ing", you commented. They stayed by your side until your sadness transformed into anger. "How dare he !", you said through greeted teeth. "Steve?", asked Nat. "No the Pope. Of course Steve. It was supposed to be magical. I mean who wouldn't think it would be amazing going on a date with Captain America himself", you shook your head.

You saw them sitting against the bed, waiting for you to continue and you told them everything. "It was a month ago. For some reason, Steve asked me on a date. At first, I was hesitant because I knew he had a short story with Sharon and since she's my friend, I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship and it all becoming weird. She told me, she didn't care if I was interested and should go for it, if it was what I wanted. So, I reached out to Steve and told him I accepted to go on a date for him." "Wait a second, the guy you waxed was for Steve?", asked Wanda. Your face betrayed you and they both laughed out loud. "Omg this is priceless", they giggled. You mimicked them sarcastically and they calmed down. "Ok sorry, go on. What happened then?", said Nat. "The date night came and Steve took me to that fancy restaurant. Everything was going great until Steve's eyes widened and he cleared his throat. Sharon was also there and came at our table to say 'hello'. Then she casually mentioned and I quote, 'Oh it's so funny Steve that you chose to take Y/N on a date in the same restaurant you took me.' " 

"Oh he did not?", gasped Wanda. "HE DID", you exclaimed pacing in the room. "Asshole", mentioned Nat. "The thing is that I was convinced that Sharon was ok with it since she told me to go for it. It seems that she wasn't and took the opportunity to make me feel like an afterthought, like the fucking side chick. She left after that, leaving me furious and Steve embarrassed. I tried to calm down and put that thought in a corner of my brain and put on a smile. Steve seemed to calm down and apologized not knowing they would come across her and that he liked the restaurant in question. I let it slide and told him to focus on our night. He agreed and we went on." You breathed out before continuing. "So, we were chatting when the waiter arrived with our entries which was soup. Don't ask me why but Steve convinced that it was delicious and that I had to have some." You were pacing around the room frantically, talking with your hands in the air. "I don't know what happened but the next thing I felt was warm liquid burning down my fupa area and let out a scream in the whole restaurant." You stopped for a moment looking at their expression which was on the verge to crack out. "Go ahead, laugh your hearts out", you mumbled annoyed. They burst out laughing in unison. "Oh God that is…and it was the day you got waxed", hyperventilated Wanda. Side-eying them, you waited for them to calm their tits down. "What did Steve do?", asked Nat. "He just looked like a fucking goldfish, shocked at the whole scene. It was so embarrassing. I turned towards him and pleaded with my eyes to go back home. He eventually got the memo and asked for the check." 

"We left the restaurant, the date being a huge catastrophe and hungry. He apologized for the evening, that it was not what he had planned. Wa arrived at the compound and told him that I needed to get cleaned. He told me to do that and then come back in the living room." You quickly passed the details of you going to your room and clean yourself, while being on the verge of crying because you were excited to go on the date with him, yada yada yada. "I finally made it into the living room 30 later and he had put on a small table with candles and roses. He had ordered pizza as well and at the end we finally got something good going on. But then…", you scratched furiously your head. "Oh no, what now?", they asked. 

"Like I said everything was going great and all. At the end, we stood in front of his room to say goodbye but the tension was at its highest and we ended up kissing. It got heated very quickly and ended up semi-naked on his bed. And let me tell you, compared to Minaj, Steve's Anaconda does !", you said under the influence of the Mead. "Big Python, Thick Python too", you mimicked the very Super Soldier's length. "The man is belesssseddd in so many ways, making the whole 'God Bless America' completely accurate." "We don't need to know thatttt", whined Wanda her face flushed. "Shhht, I wanna hear the rest", shushed Nat. "Well the rest is that I was near his crotch but before going further I looked back at him to have his consent when…you ready? The Motherfucker felt asleep. Can you believe? I almost got my coochie ripped/burned and he just falls asleep on me."

"It's understandable now why you keep avoiding each other", said Nat. "I hate it. It's so weird, I felt so embarrassed. You know like I was so boring or something", you said with glossy eyes, the Mead getting the best of you. "Oh love come here", urged Wanda to a group hug. After that you felt completely drained and told them you needed to get some sleep, leaving them behind. 

The next day

You woke up feeling like your head was about to explode. "Miss Y/L/N, you're attended to the conference room for an emergency meeting", echoed F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice in your room. "Great !", you mumbled. Taking your sunglasses you stumbled into the conference room. "Thank you for gracing us of your presence, Agent Y/L/N", said Fury sternly. You peaced him out in response to which he narrowed his eyes. "Is there an eye infection going on right now or am I missing something", he continued while pointing at you, Natasha and Wanda who all had sunglasses on their faces. "It's your aura illuminating the room. You have such presence Sir", you commented with a goofy smile, the last effects of the Mead still in your body. "I'm going pretend that I didn't hear that", he mentioned and began reviewing the details for the next mission. He soon let Steve take the control of the details but you were too tired to listen to anything. Unconsciously, you fell asleep and were woken up with a hand bumping violently on the table. Getting past the shock, your eyes landed on Steve's fuming expression. "Agent Y/L/N, maybe last time you should party less in order to not fall asleep on such a serious matter", he rasped. 'The audacity', you thought. 

"Well Captain ROGERS, it seems that it's a recurrent thing of people falling asleep during serious matters, don't you think?", you spit in front of everyone. Maybe you shouldn't have but seeing him point you in front of everyone made you lose it. His eyes widened at your innuendo and he became redder than a tomato. He stormed out of the room, leaving the others shocked at his outburst and confused by your words. "What just happened?", asked Tony wickedly. You shook your head and stood up, leaving the room and taking refuge in your room. When you opened closed the door, you found Steve sitting at the edge of your bed. "What are you doing here?", your voice trembled. "We need to talk", he stated firmly. "I don't know what's there to be said. Actions speak louder than words", you replied. 

He stood up and closed the gap, his muscular body inches from yours. You stood your ground because 1) it was your room and 2) you he had nothing to blame you for. "The day of our date, I got a last minute mission on the other side of the world. I didn't get time to sleep but I was too excited for our date." "You could have cancelled it", you breathed out. "I could but I didn't want to. I wasn't aware of how tired I was and I know it's not an excuse to what happened but I'm really sorry Y/N. You deserve the best and I didn't give you what you earn", he said taking a step behind, a small expression crossing his features. You grabbed his wrist keeping him from leaving. "I'm not gonna lie, the first part and the last part of the date was a disaster but I enjoyed the moment we spend eating pizza, the way you decorated the table just for me. For a second it made me feel special." He closed the gap again and took your chin on his hand, "That's because you are and i would love if you could get me a new chance to prouve it to you." You nodded weakly, your eyes locked with his. His lips crashed yours in a slow but sensual kiss, his hands anchor themselves on your waist making him groan. "F.R.I.D.A.Y soundproof the room", breathed out Steve. "What?", you said. "Baby I'm intending to make it up to you for the next 24h", he said before capturing your lips in a feverish kiss. 

* gifs not mine, credit to owners*

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